#100 heathens au

[seldaryne]

i completely understand the 'astarion doesn't have abs' crowd, but personally i do believe you Can see them, it's just more of a 'muscle definition via dehydration' build

[thechurchoftheradiodemon]

Good evening, denizens of Radioapple nation!

I think it's time for a new fic recommendation list. I have been reading some series you recommended and some others that I found on tmblr. My tbr is still shamefully long, you people need to stop being so talented, I can't keep up with all the content.

In any case, here goes my rec list for anyone that is interested. These fics are 100% unadultered radioapple, some sfw, some nsfw, but all of them with good aroace-spec representation and fantastic characterizations.

Without further ado, here we go:

• OSaS, by @morningstarwrites: no need for introductions. This is, I believe, the most famous fic of the fandom. So many hijinks, so much fluff, such character development, and a lot of lovely bickering. It's still going, and we are now entering the 6th arch, with promises of turning up the heat (so far, very much sfw and cute).

• De santos y pecadores, by Sun_Haworth: this is the Spanish version of Of Saints and Sinners (yes, the fic is this famous, it has translations). Very good translation work, I have to say, so check it out if you are a Spanish speaker or if you want to practice your Spanish!

• Lucid Dreams of New Orleans, by @radiaurapple: a "finished" one, with promises of more epilogues and some snippets to come. This is one of the loveliest, most heartwrenching fics I've read of the fandom. Pseudo-human Alastor AU, beautifully written, it will entrance you. You will long for New Orleans like you never knew you could. A must read, for sure. Sfw with the exception of this (highly recommended) snippet, 3 a.m. (Bonus track). I'd also recommend reading A LULLABY FOR MR SHINGLES of you are looking to be creeped out and for a good laugh.

• We should've been enemies, by @soot-and-salt: the gothic horror romance fic you didn't know you needed. It's almost finished, and it captures the creepy dark atmosphere so well. This one is nsfw and very sexy, if I may say so. The writing flows really good, and you can't miss their one-shots: I shine only with the light you gave me, such gorgeous premise and prose, it's a human Alastor AU; and Transubstantiation, based on a fabulous CMV, very gorey and ethereal, it bewitched me.

• All changed, changed utterly, by @tollingreminiscentbells: a finished one, nsfw. Human Alastor AU at the beginning, we follow an alternative narrative in which Lucifer and Alastor met each other before Hell. It is SUCH a gorgeous fic, very nicely written, with so much fluff and angst and character development. Domestic and romantic, without losing each characters essence. I binged it in a couple of days. A must read for any radioapple fan, for sure.

• Lucifer and his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad relationship, by @keelywolfe: this is another radioapple stapple, and rightfully so. Nsfw and still on going, a long read that's very worth it. The writing? Incredible. The evolution of every character? Astounding. The plot? THICK. An amazingly hooking fic, with so much fluff, hurt, confort, love, hate, secrets, drama and smut. A MUST, no doubt. You can also read the short Radioapple Standalones, they are a cute, dramaless and sexy read to rest from the chaos of the main series.

• Bedtime rituals to try out before the next angelic war, by @miribalis: finished and sfw. In this one, we find ourselves with a tricky hotel room and many sheanigans involving insomnia, managerial duties and feelings. Very very cute, writing on point and captures a cozy atmosphere that few do. Another binge-read for me, I just couldn't get enough domesticity from them.

• Blood, water and other bonds, by Minimalistless: nsfw two-shot. If you are looking for some self-indulgent radioapple smut, here is your fic. This one is really well written and fun. Worth giving it a shot.

• loml, by @radioapple-heathen: sfw and still going. A very cute fic, with some really angsty moments and pet snake sheanigans. Alastor and Lucifer discover they have many things in common, but their rivalry never fades... for now.

• Stolen Moments, by @mothballmilkshake: I'm still going through this series, but so far so very good. Nsfw and another very worthy long read. It's fun, it's cute, we see the development of their characters and their relationship, and so far it's becoming another favourite! Definitelly worth seeing how this continues unfolding.

• Strange Appetites, by Gotllphi: Nsfw, gorey (diegetic gore, I believe they described it) and still going. Currently on hiatus, but the author has the story all planned out and will resume writing as soon as they can! My first radioapple read and still on my top list. Human Alastor AU, with some very cute teen Charlie included here and there. The plot is highly adicting, the development of their relationship so much so, and the writing is fantastic. Give it a shot to encourage your local fic writers not to give up!

• Unhealthy Competition, by @theaffablescamp: I have to catch up with this one too, but it is, overall, fun, sexy and intriguing. Nsfw, still going, SO many hooking plot points, SO many hijinks. The radioapples navigate their personal issues while trying to understand each other. A good, entertaining read.

• Eat your heart out, by @seducipher: modern human Alastor AU, nsfw, gorey and unfinished. Very cool atmosphere and premise, good writing and tantalizing. I also binge read this one. Sexy and intriguing, can't wait to see how this one continues.

• @notherpuppet 's AUs: I usually put this one at the end bc it's not a fic per se, but the My Deer Nanny AU is another fandom classic, rightfully so. Fun, cute, fun, domestic, fun, heartmelting... it has everything a radioapple fan needs! They are also in a queer-platonic relationship, which I think is really refreshing and good for their characters. Don't miss their other AUs, art and short-comics. They are pure GOLD.

Also, as I should, have your read Primavera en Nueva Orleans? A great fic in Spanish about Alastor's last Mardi Gras, you should take a look, it's nice 👀

But, anyway, this is all folks! I'll post new fic recs in a while when I continue with my tbr. Thank you for listening and reading, and stay tuned!

[missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway]

One day I'll be dancing on your grave...

Summary:

Lucien “Luci” Greco, you’re piece of shit ex, has come to NY looking for you. He's the reason you had to leave everything behind in the first place. Didn't stop him from searching for you though. The long lost mafia princess. He needs you if he is ever to rightfully take over the family from your father Declan. Little does he know you're doing mercenary work for the highest bidder. He still thinks you're some wilting damsel, a spoiled little princess. Your daddy didn't raise you that way though. You've been primed to take over since birth. Too bad he beat the shit out of you so badly you had to run for your safety. Somehow, even trying to stay under the radar you've befriended the damn Avengers family. A misfit mafia if you’ve ever seen one. You’re all after the same enemy afterall. Maybe, it's time to finally let someone or several someones in, so you can live life without constantly looking over your shoulder. Question is, do you even want the crown anymore?

Warnings:

Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Violence, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Violence, Mafia Avengers, Mafia AU, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Woman on Top

Notes:

Hello Heathens! Welcome to this dark little mafia world I've created. Please be aware there are dark themes throughout this story so be sure to check the tags with each new chapter just in case there may be something that triggers you. Happy reading! Banner @cafekitsune Divider @firefly-graphics

“Well if it isn't the White Wolf and his Captain.” You deadpan as you enter your living room.

“Jinx.” Bucky speaks from his place on the couch. 

“To what do I owe the displeasure of finding you in my home?”

“We came to return this.” Steve places a dagger on the coffee table. “Seems you left it behind.”

“Oh Steven. I don't ‘leave’ anything behind. Every blade has a purpose. You should know that by now. That one was left as a reminder of what happens when people underestimate me.” You start to clean the dirt from under your blood soaked hands with another dagger.

“Now if you're done posturing or whatever it is you came here to do. You can kindly show yourselves out. I have a date with my clawfoot tub, a bottle of 151 and season 2 of the Witcher to get to.”

You turn on your heels and head down the hallway towards your bedroom, undressing and leaving a trail of bloody clothes behind you along the way. You're faithful Doberman Hades on your heels. The pair of enforcers sat on your couch are fixated on the sway of your hips until your form leaves their line of sight.

Bucky runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back. “What do you want to do about this? I’ve never known her to kill just for fun. Clearly someone with deep pockets hired her to take out Sitwell. Not that I’m complaining. That Hydra piece of trash deserved it.”

“Tony is going to want answers. Answers that only she can give.” Steve shrugs.

“If she’s willing. She’s not the biggest fan of Tony.” 

“Thankfully she loves Pepper. Let’s see if she’ll come to the compound with us voluntarily first.”

Arching his brow and  giving Steve a sly grin. “Afraid to get your hands dirty Stevie.” 

“More like I’d prefer to have her tied up in my bed than in the back of my Range Rover.”

“Don’t we all Stevie. Don’t we all?”

You’re staring at yourself in the mirror as your phone begins to vibrate along the counter. You glance down and upon seeing the name flashing across the screen you take a calming breath and answer. 

“It’s done. There was no need for you to check in on me.”

“That any way for you to talk to your Da? I know it’s done. I had 100% faith in ya to finish the task. I did raise ya after all. So what if I wanted to check in on ya. You’re so damn far away now. I’m not allowed to call my daughter?” Declan proclaims.

“Da. What do you need? You never call to just check in. We don’t work that way. If you wanted to see how I was doing, you’d fly a goon of yours out and stalk me for a week before deciding if it was worth it to come out here to see me. So what is it? I can’t re kill Sitwell for you.”

“Alright. Alright. I get it." He sighs into the phone. "I have some info I feel ya need to know.”

“And that is?”

“Lucien has been gone for a week. Said he had some business to attend to out of town. I just came to find out from one of his little lackeys that said business seems to be in your neck of the woods. Be careful, petal. Keep your eyes open. He very well may be there for some reason other than to hunt you down and drag you back, but I won't risk it.”

You freeze at the mention of your toxic, waste of space, abusive ex. The reason you had to run away to NY in the first place. You swallow and test the water for your bath.

“Thanks for the heads up. I’ll stay vigilant, as always. Now leave me be so I can enjoy my post kill ritual.”

“Never one to waste words.”

“I got it from you. Night Old Man.”

“Night Petal.”

Placing your phone on the tray next to the tub you proceed to submerge yourself in the steamy water. You tilt your head back and exhale as tortured memories bring themselves to the surface.

“Sunshine” His voice is getting closer to the darkened corner you’re hiding in. “Come out, come out wherever you are.” He throws one of the dining room chairs away from the table. “Come on baby, I won’t hurt you. I promise. I didn't mean to scare you. You know how I get when I have a shit day and your dad calls attention to my fuck ups in front of everyone.” 

His steps get closer and the next thing you know his hand is in your hair and he’s pulling you out into the living room. Tossing you harshly on to the coffee table. You barely get your hands out in front of you before your face can connect with the solid wood. 

“You know better than to hide from me, Sunshine. For that, I’m gonna deny you the use of my tongue to open you up. Hopefully you’re wet enough cause I’ve got a lot of pent up anger that I need to get rid of. Don’t move if you know what’s good for you and take this dicking I’m so graciously giving you.”

You brace yourself as he slams himself inside you, grabbing a fistful of your hair and craning your neck back so he can wrap his other hand around it. He’s squeezing so tight you know there will be finger shaped bruises left behind. 

You find yourself zoning out as you try to preserve your precious air and he continues his brutal pace. It’s the only way to get through it with your mind intact. Your body will heal. It’s the emotional trauma you're most afraid of. Before you get too lost in your head, he speeds up, hips moving erratically until he stills and you feel him empty inside you. Thank the goddess is stamina is so shitty.

“Much better.” He kisses the back of your head. “See how easy that was Sunshine. Go get yourself cleaned up so we can have dinner. I don’t feel like staying in so wear something that’ll help cover those bruises. Don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.”

You numbly nod your head and limp off to your ensuite bathroom where you stare at the mottled mess of purple around your neck. You heave a sigh and get to work covering up his handiwork. 

Hades emitting a low growl, snaps you out of your daydream when the pair of Super Soldier enforcers saunter into the ensuite to see if they can persuade you to come to the compound of your own freewill. You decide then and there to have a little fun with them first. A sort of quid pro quo if you will. You're keyed up from your kill and want to drown out the memories of your past that seem to want to flood back tonight. What better way than with some orgasms. 

“Can I help you? As you can see I’m trying to relax.” You announce to the steam filled room.

“Tony would like to see you. He has some questions pertaining to your last kill.” Steve states.

“And before you give some snarky ass comment, we’re asking if you wouldn’t mind coming in with us of your own accord. Although I’m more than okay tying you up and dragging you in myself.” Bucky wiggles his eyebrows and shoots you wink.

“Okay.” You casually declare.

“What?!” The soldiers stare at each other in shock over how easy that was. Too easy.

“What’s the catch?” Steve asks.

“It’s simple, really. It’s a win/win all around. I’ll go if Bucky uses those metal fingers of his and gets me off, then lets me ride him while I suck on that golden dick of yours Captain.”

“Deal!” Bucky blurts out, making his way over to the tub as he rolls up his left shirt sleeve.

He wastes no time submerging his hand in the hot water and seeking out your folds. He lightly runs his fingers along them and up to your clit where he makes a couple light circles, eliciting a moan from you. 

“Fucking soaking and it aint even from the bath water. You’ve thought about this before, haven't you Doll.”

“Wh-what can I say? The metal is sexy. Oh Fuck!” He slides two thick digits knuckle deep inside you and curls them upward. “Yes. Yes. Right there. Right fucking there Wolfie.”

Your head is thrown back in complete pleasure as you give in to the manipulation of Bucky’s metal digits. Steve is off to the side, all of his blood having run to his cock, making his pants extremely uncomfortable, watching you writhe and make the most delicious sounds.

“That’s it. Come on babygirl. I can feel how close you are. Give it to me and then you can take me for a ride. I know you want to be stuffed full.”

His words have the desired effect and your pussy squeezes down on his fingers as you detonate and ride the wave of your orgasm. 

Before you fully can come down from your high, you're pulled from the water and impaled on Bucky’s thick girth as he sits on the edge of the tub. The stretch and feeling of being so full almost sets you off once again. You take a moment to let your body accommodate him.

“Thought you wanted to ride me, Doll? So ride. Before I change my mind and bend you over this tub instead.”

Your hips move of their own accord at his threat. Undulating and bouncing to a sensuous rhythm. Losing yourself in the moment. 

That is until Steve strolls over and teases your lips with his precome coated tip. “Open up, Doll. Gotta make good on that deal.” 

You gaze up at the Golden Adonis standing to your right and give him one sweet kitten lick before you take him down to the root. Hollowing your cheeks, you begin to bob your head along his length, sucking the life out of him. He can’t help the moans and groans slipping out of his mouth as you suck his dick like no one ever has before. 

Knowing your mouth is setting the Captain's world upside down, you pick up the pace, grinding and bouncing on the dick splitting you open. You set a tempo that has the room filled with nothing but the wet sounds of skin against skin, moans and language that would make a nun blush. 

Bucky has a firm grip on your hips as he pulls you down one final time and erupts inside you, triggering your own orgasm. You come screaming around Steve’s length, setting him off as well. Rope after rope of his hot white seed coats your tongue and throat as you swallow every precious drop. 

Releasing him from your mouth you lick any run away drops off your lips and proceed to lift yourself off of Bucky’s lap. “Fuck that was even better than I imagined it’d be. We most certainly need to do that again. Many many times.” You grin devilishly. You are a glutton for sin after all. 

You grab a washcloth, dip it into the hot bath and begin to clean up the mess Bucky left behind. Satisfied with the level of cleanliness, you turn towards the out of breath enforcers. “I’m nothing, if not a woman of my word. Grab yourselves a drink and recoup while I throw something presentable on for the big boss man. What are we riding in by the way? Will I need my leathers or are we in a cage tonight?”

“As much as I would love to see you in your leathers, straddling me on the back of my bike.” Bucky bites his lip at the image presented in his mind. “Stevie here, brought his Range. So cage it is tonight, Doll. Gonna have to save that ride for another time.”

“No problem. You’ll just have to enjoy that sight when you're watching me from behind as I sped past you on my Ducati.” You tease.

“You won't be ahead for long, sweetheart. And once I catch you, I’ll gladly bend you over it and fuck you til cant stand, let alone handle you bike and are stuck riding bitch with me.” He cockily proclaims.

“Promises. Promises.” You smugly smile back.

Steve interrupts your moment before it escalates further. “Okay. Enough you two. Although I would love to watch that transpire, we do have somewhere to be. Come on Buck, let our little murder queen get dressed. We’ll be ready when you are Jinx.”

You walk up to Steve and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Always so polite. Even after you just had your massive dick shoved down my throat. Oh you're the best kind of dangerous. I can’t wait to see you unhinged.”

With a whistle to Hades you head back into your room and your walk-in closest to throw on some clothes and be on your way to the Avengers compound.

"There's the woman of the hour. I thought you'd put up more of a fight with the Super Soldiers. Guess I was wrong this time. We were just talking about you." Tony gets up from his chair, grinning.

"We?" You question.

"He'd be talking about me." You gaze down to a blonde head of slick back hair and a voice that haunts your nightmares sitting in front of Tony. 

"Jinx, I'd like you to meet…"

"Lucien Greco." You deadpan.

He stands from his seat and turns in your direction. His blue eyes scan you from top to bottom. Cocky smirk plastered on his face. "Hello Sunshine. I was hoping I'd find you here."

"No one calls me that anymore." Another emotionless response from you. 

"So I've heard. Jinx. Fitting if I do say so." You barely restrain the growl that wants to emit from your chest.

"You know him?" Bucky asks.

"Yeah. He's the asshole who gave me this.” You lift your shirt and pull up the center of your bralette, showing off the jagged scar in the middle of your sternum. “Right before he left me for dead on the side of the road."

“I didn't leave ya for dead darlin’. I was always coming back. Just needed to teach ya a lesson first.” Lucien imparts.

Before he gets a chance to even take a step, you have him pinned against Tony’s desk. Your favorite dagger, precariously placed under his chin. Blade pressed so close against his throat, a deep breath would break the skin.

“Tony. Please get on with whatever it is you need to discuss with me. Every second that passes I’m one step closer to slitting his throat and that’s just too quick of a death for him in my book. So make it quick and I’ll be out of your hair.”

Tony lets out a sigh. “Unfortunately you’re going to have to deal with him for this discussion. Says he knows who hired you for the hit on Sitwell and that we’re all after the same thing. Revenge.”

“Of course he knows who would have hired me for this hit. He’s been working for him since he was a teenager. Been around him his whole life actually. He is correct about revenge though.” You state a little too calmly.

“Are you implying Declan Scott paid you for killing Sitwell?” Tony questions.

“Never said I got paid for the job.” You shrug your shoulder.

“Why didn't you get paid?” Steve utters.

With a smug little grin Lucien answers for you. “That’s an easy one, boys. He killed her mother. In fact he was the reason she went into labor. Little Sunshine here was born in blood. Taking her first breath as her mother took her last.”

“You’re extra chatty tonight Luci? It’s a pity those words just might be your last.” You look him dead in the eyes, a look of murder in yours.

“Wait. Wasn’t Declan’s wife murdered while pregnant? He has a daughter right? She’s been MIA for the last 3 years.” Bucky adds in.

“That would be, correct gentleman. Although I wouldn't classify her as MIA any longer now would I darlin’.” Lucien chuckles.

You press the dagger in a fraction harder and watch as a trickle of blood begins to slide down his neck.

“Alright. Enough with being vague. Just tell us what you're trying to say, Greco.” Steve growls out.

Smug as ever he lets them know what’s going on. “Alright. Alright. I’ll lay it all out. You’re little Jinx here, is Declan Scott’s one and only daughter. The rightful heir to the Bay Area Mafia. I’ve come to drag her back home where she belongs before Hydra makes good on their threat and ends her fathers life.”

“I’ll be going nowhere with you.” You say through gritted teeth. “You seem to have left out the part where you only want me home so you can lock me up and throw away the key. That way you can run things solo. Not happening. I’d rather bleed out in a ditch again than see you take over for my father. Whatever deal you thought you’d strike here it’s over. Your word is as good as a knife in the back. Your mouth is full of nothing but slick words and a poisonous tongue.”

“You used to love my wicked tongue Sunshine.” You press the dagger in a bit further once again. The tiny river of crimson soothing your raging emotions.

Not wanting to have to clean blood out of the carpets Tony takes charge of the tense situation. “As sexy as it is watching her hold you at knife point, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Seems you are no longer needed for this conversation.” 

He presses a button on his desk. “Happy. Would you mind escorting our guest off the premises please. Take him wherever he wants to go, as long as it’s far from here.”

“Will do, Sir.” Happy replies.

“Thanks. Now Jinx. I’m gonna need you to step back from the deadbeat ex so Happy can remove him.” 

Bucky comes up behind you and places his flesh hand on your hip and his metal one around the wrist holding the dagger. He whispers in your ear so only can hear. “Let’s make him wish he never stepped foot in here thinking he could get one over on you.” He kisses along your neck as he lowers your hand away from the lowlife's, guiding it down to your thigh, where he helps you return it to its sheath.

“That’s my girl. Head on over to Tony now. Steve and I will be right behind you.” He places a final kiss on your lips and turns you toward is awaiting boss. 

You walk over to Tony and he grabs your hand, kissing your knuckles. “We have a lot to discuss, little one. Seems you’ve been holding back on us.”

You laugh. “Don’t say I didn't warn you.”

[iobsesswaytoomuch]

Hi! I go by Obby/anything online, and welcome to my little blog! I draw tortols a lot, and love rottmnt with every part of my soul. Creator of Herculean Cerulean, and currently have a small obsession with birds for some reason. I'm always open to drawing or animation tips, and if anyone wants to talk, I'm always open! If you're reading this, I hope you have a great day/night!

Masterpost under cut

Here's some of my stuff!

kraang screenshot redraw

teetlez

silly aftermath doodle

embrace the turtle baby!

tablet test

it's the whole fam! :D

the clothes don't make the turtle

Raph and Karai

Leo is triangle

(for some reason it's backwards) trivia comic

C.A.S fanart

movie screenshot redraw

color palette thingy I guess

magic bois

(backwards too???) Moon comic

if we have each other animatic

If this isn't the poster shot, someone's getting fired

sad tortols

portals duo in sunglasses

magic mike

art trade with thr-333

Neon Leoooonnn

Neon Dontrooonnn

Neon Mikey...ooonnn

me as a tmnt

battle of the last slice

mikey practice

These Are Not Our Masks Raph Fanart (not my fanfic!!!)

These Are Not Our Masks Leo Fanart

These Are Not Our Masks Donnie Fanart

Kid leo dtiys

up on the rooftop

definitely not procrastination

Little Brother au dtiys

APRIIIIILLLLL O'NEIIIIIILLLLL

...Mikey?

You're okay (animatic)

Abstract Mikey

They're having such a fun happy silly goofy time! :D (they're not)

Donnie angst ig

first time ever drawing the turtles

feeling a little blue

@/turtlepanic's Lavinia dtiys

100 followers dtiys!!!

Shiny tortol :]

Leo on crutches doodles

It's Shredder! WHERE?!

Snow day part 2

@/cupcakeslushie's dtiys

@/phoebepheebsphibs dtiys

Leo color palette thingy idk

Spider's Web with Strings Attached Fanart (spoiler warning)

beautiful boys

introducing Tyrian and Astros

the reunion

heathens (it's also backwards)

disaster twins

chapter 9

void animation

love is gone animation

Not a color animatic

draxum gets educated (works without context)

Until he faced the dragon

Save me if I become my demons

Trapped inside a cell

Random stuffs I guess

TELEMACHUS MY BOIIIIIII

dragon

welcome home

sona reference

marble sky fanart

Ninjago Oneshot: Numbing the Pain

very bad animation practice

the oranges (ava)

JIMMY

Herculean Cerulean Masterpost

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

I Can't Believe It's Not: Supernatural AU

Yang: (frying up breakfast, her shirt is still stained with the morning's kill) Guys, breakfast is almost ready!

Ruby: (zips to the table and sniffs the air) Is that what I think it is?!

Yang: You bet! Killed fresh early this morning. Grab yourself a plate.

Ruby: (stockpiles her plate and sits at the table)

Weiss: What has Ruby so excited this early in the morning.

Ruby: Baggon n eegsh n pnnncaksh

Blake: (yawns) Say again?

Yang: Fresh bacon and eggs with pancakes, but Ruby’s more focused on the bacon.

Blake: You killed a poor pig this morning? (Sits at the table)

Yang: (sets a plate of food in front of Blake and hemo-coffee in front of Weiss) Not exactly.

Blake: ......Yang, this is just ham.

Yang & Ruby: (gasp in carnivore)

Blake: What???

Ruby: That is 100% bona-fide BEAR bacon, you heathen!!!

Blake: (blinks) You killed a bear?

Yang: Okay, first off. I didn't "kill a bear". I harvested it. Big difference. Also, it wasn't one of those cute little black bears. I'm not heartless enough to kill Boo-boo. I ran up north overnight and got a grizzly.

Blake: You....killed a grizzly?

Yang: Harvested! (Excitedly) Wait until later this season when we can get some elk or moose!

Blake: .....And the eggs?

Yang: Duck eggs from the coop. I didn't go searching through a nest like a common weasel.

Ruby: I love you so much! (Scarfs down the rest of her plate and goes up for seconds)

[depressedhouseplant]

More Stats! More Stats!

Today we have some slightly different stats! The Top 10, Bottom 10, & Apocalypse AU entries as of yesterday afternoon.

My criteria were simple: straight up likes. If there was a tie then I’d go to reblogs to break the tie. However, there were no ties in the top 10. What I’ve learned over the past few months is if an entry is going to take off, it’s going to do it within the first 24 hours of being posted. So it’s not like I was necessarily being unfair to entries posted more recently. I’ll get a like or reblog here or there, but generally if an entry is going to succeed (whatever that means) it’ll do it relatively quickly.

The Top 10 JFW Entries (literally no one will be shocked by these results):

Felix Doting Boyfriend Y/N - posted January 26 - 136 likes

Yunho Best Man / Maid of Honor Y/N - posted January 24 - 76 likes

Ateez OT8 Valentine’s Day Y/N - posted February 14 - 63 likes

Wooyoung Next Door Neighbor Y/N - posted February 20 - 48 likes

Yunho Best Man / Maid of Honor Y/N pt 2 - posted February 1 - 43 likes

Yunho Royalty Y/N - posted March 7 - 42 likes

Yungi Youth - posted January 17 - 35 likes (the only M/M pairing to make the top 10)

Hyunjae Strangers at the Club Y/N - posted January 29 - 34 likes

Felix Doting Boyfriend Y/N pt 2 - posted February 5 - 32 likes (over 100 likes less than the first installment)

Juyeon / Aeri Hookup - posted April 24 - 25 likes

Most Popular Apocalypse AU Entry:

Part 4 - not coincidentally the only NSFW entry thus far

Least Popular Apocalypse AU Entry:

Parts 5, 7, 10, & 12 were all tied with only 2 likes & no reblogs. Part 5 is the official worst performer as it has the earliest posting date of the 4.

I also thought it would only be fair to include the bottom 10 entries as well. There were 23 entries tied with only 2 likes and even after weeding out for reblogs there were still 20 entries with 2 likes. I opted for oldest to newest to round out the bottom 10 and nothing that was bonus content for other works.

The Bottom 10 JFW Entries (read: go give these babies some love if you haven’t already):

Namgi Mirrors on the Ceiling - posted January 11 (my birthday you ungrateful heathens) - 0 likes

Jumil Oops Wrong Person - posted January 2 - 1 like (0 reblogs)

Chanlix FWB - posted January 4 - 1 like (0 reblogs)

Juric Just Talk to Me - posted January 7 - 1 like (2 reblogs)

Taegi Caught on Kiss Cam - posted January 8 - 2 likes (I’ll be honest, I wasn’t happy with how this one turned out. It was way better in my head)

SOPE Depression - posted January 25 - 2 likes (this one touches on a heavy subject so I’m not surprised it didn’t do well)

Bbangju Hooking Up with a World Famous Idol - posted February 11 - 2 likes (I thought Chanhee & Changmin were pretty funny here)

JiHope Hobi’s Birthday - posted February 17 - 2 likes (I admit this one was a bit disappointing because it had the potential for a great smutty entry but I didn’t have the energy at the time)

Yeonbin / Female OC - posted February 26 - 2 likes (This only bolsters my belief that female OCs are not a good bet if you want something to do well)

Eric & Jongho Grief - posted March 10 - 2 likes (This one also touches on a heavy subject so I’m also not surprised it didn’t do well)

Honorable Mention:

Sunwoo x Yeji / Yeji x Belle - posted May 10 - 2 likes at the time of this writing. (I’m guessing the F/F pairing was not a good choice. Sorry y’all)

I can’t say I necessarily learned anything new from these results, but more had things I already knew / suspected confirmed:

NSFW is more popular than SFW

Hotteoks (Yunho stans) are collectively the thirstiest, but Pixies (Felix stans) show up in larger numbers

Female OCs or F/F pairings are literary suicide

Y/N will always bring in readers

Sequels / continuations never do as well as the first entry / installment

But Emily I want more of (pairing / scenario / activity) that isn’t popular! Help!

Send in a request! You can either use the AMA function or DM me. There’s very few things I won’t write. I will get around to the Sunwoo / Wonyoung pt 2 that was requested multiple times, but it’s behind several other things in my mental queue right now.

Also don’t be a lurker! Like, reblog, comment, interact! I’m far more likely to prioritize requests from people who regularly interact with me. The AMA defaults to anon, but you can turn it off. Both @m-is-mickey & @theboredsquirrel can attest I don’t bite (and also will recognize you every chance I get because I love my interactive readers 💕).

Thank you to everyone who takes time out of their day to read my silly little stories. I hope it brings joy to your day whatever that day’s entry is. There are 234 days left in 2024 & here’s hoping I’ll get something for at least 100 of them 🤞🏻

[nepenthean-sleep]

griddlehark fic recs

what's up i'm tumblr user nepenthean-sleep and the locked tomb books psychologically destroyed me so i read griddlehark fic to cope. here's a list of some of my favorite fics. tumblr usernames added if i could find them (sorry for the notification!). part 2 here.

Kiss Me, Idiot T - Antipode oneshot. post pool scene, canon-compliant, just generally cute (understatement).

do what you can with me, and do it quietly T - cobrakids / @funsizedshark oneshot. college AU. this one is BRAND NEW but its so good. the author has gideon and harrow's voices down 100%. i really hope it becomes a whole AU or a multi-chapter fic!

for the gleam of a jewel, or a smile T - cristabeloct / @gothicenjoyer long multi-chapter. third house murder mystery featuring all the heirs and cavs from canaan house! i will admit i have not yet finished this fic but everything about it so far is incredible. i love how fleshed out (heh, flesh magic joke) the third house feels in this fic. it reminds me a lot of the mysterious study of doctor sex in that it's very interesting to see the inner workings of another house.

for better, for worse T - mutterandmumble oneshot. college AU. oh my god this one is hilarious i was crying laughing. two absolutely insufferable lesbians argue in a wendy's drive-through at 2am. one of my favorite fics of all time.

The Long Defeat G - pipistrelle oneshot. harrow's letter #24 of 24 from htn. this one hurts, lmao! absolutely wonderful, great job.

at arm's length T - mutterandmumble oneshot. college AU. harrow has to call gideon to pick up a drunk pal from her apartment. this whole fic is very funny. i am a big fan of unnervingly out-of-character drunk palamedes.

i will learn to love the shears T - corpsesoldier / @corpsesoldier oneshot. set after the avulsion trial. gideon helps harrow cut her hair. very introspective and i think it made one of my friends cry.

you kissed me (you heathen) T - its_alenatic oneshot. the kiss from ntn from gideon's perspective! this fic made me want to throw my laptop out a window!

Safe Words T - zoicite short multi-chapter. set post-pool scene when gideon and harrow talk about random things. gideon tells a very funny story about camilla handcuffing harrow that reveals more about gideon's own psyche than she probably intended.

How It Happened T - YeeHawmura oneshot. pool scene with a htn twist. also made me want to throw my laptop out a window!

[c-m-li-s-fanfic-corner]

WIP Lineup 5/30/2023

Below are my fics that are somewhere between the sandbox and WIP stages. I have these each planned and framed out but they are in various stages of being actually written.

(these are in vague order of when i plan to write them, but there are no timelines, schedules, or promises on the posting bc the quickest way for me to lose motivation is to give me a deadline)

So Uncivilized

Star Wars

Rule 63

Obi-Wan centric

CodyWan endgame

Lots of big big canon divergences

1. Heathen

Melida-Daan

Obi-Wan & Quinlan friendship

Qui-Gon & Yoda bashing

2. Barbarian

Mandalore Arc

(not Obi-Wan/Satine)

3. Savage

Clone Wars era

CodyWan

Order 66 fix-it

Anakin & Anidala bashing

*   *  *

Mesh’la

Star Wars

CodyWan established

Firefly (Joss Whedon ‘verse) crossover

(not dimension travel, SW:CW characters are a part of the Firefly ‘verse)

Post Order 66 / Rebels era vibes

*   *   *

History Has It’s Eyes On You

Star Wars

POV Outsider

Post Clone Wars era (way post, almost 1,000 years after)

CodyWan

Melida-Daan

Order 66 fix-it

Slight Anakin bashing

*   *   *

Her Sweetened Breath & Her Tongue So Mean

Star Wars

Post Clone Wars & Order 66 Fix-it

Leia centric w/ a dash of Luke

CodyWan

Pro Jedi (all of my fics are but this one bears repeating)

Anakin & Padme bashing

*   *   *

Family is More than Blood

Star Wars

Obi-Wan/Quinlan

Pro Jedi (this bears repeating)

Jedi leave the Republic

Mandalorian Obi-Wan Kenobi

Shadow Obi-Wan Kenobi

1. Old Blood

Mandalorian civil war AU

2. New Blood

This is where Mandalorian Obi-Wan Kenobi becomes especially relevant

3. Shared Blood

Jedi & Clone Troopers

Mandalorians & Clone Troopers

Obi-Wan & Cody (big sibling energy here)

*   *   *

When the Need is Greatest

Avatar: the Last Airbender

All canon pairings remain canon

Post war dimensional travel

*   *   *

Destiny’s Due

Avatar: the Last Airbender

All canon pairings remain canon

Alternate Dimension AU in which the 100 Year War never happened

[biaswreckmepls]

hi! im just here to give a few more details on the lost serial killer × detective fic. i think jungkook was the serial killer (but i could be wrong) and im not sure if it was taekook or jikook. it was a long long fic, chaptered, and the ending had something to do with a railway track. i hope that helps! i'm sorry i don't know more :(

hey! i read a fic a really long time ago that was incredible. I think it could have been jikook but im not 100% sure. It was like a serial killer x detective type thing. And jungkook was a psycopathic serial killer and it was sort of like a killing eve type thing. i remember a scene where jimin (or whoever the detective was) comes home to find someone who wronged him tied up in his apartment, and jungkook is there and wants jimin to kill the guy. And then another scene where they go on this midnight drive together because nobody can know. And it was all very complicated and i'm explaining this horribly but i thought maybe it was worth seeing :)

(thanks to @ladyc0312 for the suggestion!) ok i've spent too much time on ao3 trying to look for this elusive fic, and I still don't think i've found it, but I'm just gonna post a few that are along the same vein:

Jikook/Taekook + Serial Killer AU/Detective AU

TW: these are all heavy fics with serious topics so read the tags carefully and proceed with caution!

Heathen by Daebon (Jikook, 31 Chapters, E, 161K)

when the caged owls sing by taetaeggukkie (Taekook, 4 Chapters, E, 32K)

The Depraved Duet (series) by nocturnehelli (Jikook, 2 works, E, 224K)

Bonne Nuit, My Angel by HighFunctioningFan (Jikook, 2 Chapters, E, 17K)

I genuinely don't know if these are anything at all, most likely the author has deleted it but I could try and keep looking if you really want me to?

[thoridsgewandung]

Auftragsarbeit nach Kundenwunsch✂️ Svita aus 100% blauer Schurwolle, mit Seide und bronzefarbene Kugelknöpfen, die Seidenbesätze sind mit feinem Seidengarn vom Hand angenäht ✂️ #thoridsgewandschneiderei #svita #vikingclothing #kaftan #byzantine #vikingofinstagram #gewandung #historyvikings #norsemythology #etsyshop #pagan #medieval #livinghistory #vikinglife #vikingstyle #byzantium #medievaltimes #heathen #byzance #medievalart #vikingcrafts #earlymedieval #reenactment #birka #vikingspirit #instagood #pagansofinstagram #vikingreenactor #vikingreenactment #norsepagan (hier: Petersberg, Rheinland-Pfalz, Germany) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjXDLLLtsBV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[citricacidprince]

Dumb Timestuck thing I thought of- :)))

Stan: Okay since you two are growing kids, I get that you'll want to start cursing (I know I did at that age, and doesn't help that Ford keeps swearing near ya-), so as a compromise you both get ONE swear word, use it wisely.

Mabel: Oh you have no idea what you just unleashed.

Stan: What????

Dipper: Now you have no idea when we're going to swear because we're going to wait for the perfect opportunity to use them.

Stan: Oh no-

[On a later date]

Dipper, after a run in with Bill: If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch I'm going to make that bastard wish he never met this family!

Stan: HEY I SAID ONE SWEAR-

Mabel: I gave him mine :)

[phrynewrites]

Omg that roof story sksjldh also POOR CAMDEN lol

On one hand Camden doesn’t even know why she’s surprised, like she saw all the clothes trialing up the steps but also she didn’t think they’d be in the middle of fucking right as they’re unlocking the door

[stevenuniverseanewchapter]

Idea: two Stevens AU. Steven works like a Starfish. He grows a pink arm where it was severed, and the arm that was severed grows a Pink Steven.

Thanks for bringing such a cursed idea into my inbox.

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

All My Friends Are Heathens; Part 6

Summary: Murphy is still banned from cursing, Octavia makes a deal with Bellamy that no one likes, and Bellamy contemplates telling Clarke how he feels.

TrashPrince: OCTAVIA U MOLDY HAMBURGER BUN THIS IS WHY WE DON’T LET U DO ANYTHING ALONE

Jaaaassssppper: tag urself I’m moldy hambuger bun

TrashPrince: THIS IS NO JOKE YOU GUM ON THE BOTTOM OF A SHOE

I DIDN’T SIGN UP TO GET FRECKLES A GF AND CLEAN HER TRASH HOLE OF A HOUSE

I WAS TOLD WE’D BE SAFE FROM REPERCUSSIONS AND NOW I’VE GOT A BUTTLOAD OF LIBRARY FINES AND I’M SWEEPING UP GLASS AROUND A GARBAGE RIDDEN POOL

TheSuperiorBlake: Bell promised the library fines would go away

this was the only way to get monty to stop crying

he’s fragile

I had to protect his little green bean heart

Greenbean: I thought this was about Bellarke?

MillertheKiller: don’t throw his little green bean heart under the bus like that

we ALL did this for bellarke

HeadBandWonder: well bellamy better hurry tf up because I JUST FOUND A CONDOM UNDER THE COUCH

Trikru: 0_0 was it...used?

HeadBandWonder: NO YOU LIMP NOODLE I’M SCREAMING CAUSE IT WAS STILL WRAPPED UP

OF COURSE IT WAS USED

UR DEAD TO ME OCTAVIA

Jaaaaaasssppper: GUYS I FOUND LEFT OVER BROWNIES

Greenbean: don’t u dare

u gotta be sober like the rest of us for this

i-make-it-go-boom: somebody want to help me keep murphy from diving into the pool?

it’s full of cups and smells like a toxic combination of vodka and chlorine and murphy keeps eyeing it suspiciously

Jaaaasssppper: DUDE DRINK IT

Trikru: DO NOT DO THAT MURPHY

TrashPrince: somebody end my suffering

*Iliad direct messaged Officer_Kane*

Iliad: Hey Kane, cane I ask you something?

Officer_Kane: it’s probably not legal

Iliad: What? No it’s a lady thing.

Officer_Kane: Oh 

Wait... What kind of lady thing...?

Iliad: How’d you know it was the right time to tell Abby how you felt about her?

Officer_Kane: Oh thank God!

Iliad: -_- Gross Kane

You’re like a father to me DON’T GIVE ME MENTAL PICTURES OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Officer_Kane: right, sorry

Look feelings are always complicated

I didn’t tell Abby how I felt first

Iliad: You didn’t?

Officer_Kane: She was married before and I didn’t want to push her so I waited until she was ready

Iliad: So what, one day she was just like, “hey Marcus I’m in love with you so now would be a great time for you to say it back”??

Officer_Kane: is that how the kids are doing it these days?

She said when we first started dating that she wasn’t sure how ready she was for a committed relationship. After several months of taking it slow, going on casual dates and a drink every once in awhile, she made her mind up about what she wanted. When she said she was ready to get serious, I was free to voice how I felt.

Iliad: This has been incredibly unhelpful

Officer_Kane: What’s the matter, Bellamy? You’ve never had girl trouble before. I can recall a time where the trouble was keeping girls OFF of you.

Iliad: Freshman cheerleaders are terrifying

I don’t know

I’ll figure it out

Thanks anyway

*NurseGriffin has been added to the Bellarke Forever<3 group chat*

i-make-it-go-boom: mom ur house is clean u can stop living out of a motel now

TrashPrince: it wouldn’t kill ya to clean up a bit every once in awhile tho

NurseGriffin: THAT WAS YOUR MESS

TrashPrince: a thanks will be fine

NurseGriffin: raven get ur bf under control before i strangle him with my bare hands

Jaaaassssppper: i’ve watched enough law and order to know strangling somebody without gloves is a no no

unless u WANT jail time of course

MillertheKiller: yeah there are better ways to strangle a guy

Trikru: Roan knows a guy if u need him

TrashPrince: who’s side are u on u donut head???

NurseGriffin: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THANK U BUT SOMEONE WROTE BELLARKE FOREVER WITH MY BRAND NEW $50 LIPSTICK ON MY BATHROOM MIRROR

U SHITBRICKS

OCTAVIA I KNOW IT WAS U

TheSuperiorBlake: me???? I was making out with lincoln in his car

it couldn’t have been me

*Trikru direct messaged TheSuperiorBlake*

Trikru: Octavia

the light of my life

my sun

my moon

my stars

TheSuperiorBlake: what did u do lincoln?

Trikru: i did a bad thing and used clarke’s expensive lipstick to write the message on her mirror 

TheSuperiorBlake: THAT WAS U??

I’M SO PROUD

MY BABY ALL GROWN UP AND REBELLIOUS

Trikru: they are meant to be together I HAD TO DO SOMETHING

tbh gettin real sick of ur brother always looking doe eyed at clarke when he thinks no one’s looking

TheSuperiorBlake: I didn’t think it was possible but i have never been more in love with u <3 <3

Trikru: awwwww babe <3

 *NurseGriffin direct messaged Iliad*

NurseGriffin: ur sister owes me $50

Iliad: I’m afraid to ask

NurseGriffin: She wrote “bellarke forever” on my bathroom mirror in lipstick

Iliad: I had a feeling she wouldn’t give up on her plans so easily

The whole party was just her scheme to get us together

NurseGriffin: How thoughtful

Just talk to her, would ya? I got a test I gotta study for

Iliad: Yeah, sure

Listen, before you go, can I ask you something?

NurseGriffin: can it wait until I’ve had a couple glasses of wine and a bubble bath? No way I’m gonna do this paper with all the stress our stupid children have caused without one

Iliad: Never mind. It’s nothing.

*IceIceBaby direct message Iliad*

IceIceBaby: listen freckles

I didn’t let lincoln break my beautiful nose for u to not ask clarke on a date yet

and tbh gettin real tired of checkin facebook to see if u have updated ur relationship status

do u know what’s on facebook dude?

my mom won’t shut up about politics

LIKE THE BORING POLITICAL STUFF

the stuff u see in newspapers

she literally never stops posting

do u want me to be subject to that just so i can see if bellarke has happened yet???

Iliad: Roan, did my sister put u up to this?

IceIceBaby: dude I have eyes!

ur breaking my shipper heart

just ask her out already!!

Iliad: I’m blocking your number

IceIceBaby: ur a monster

*Bellarke Forever has removed NurseGriffin from the group chat and added IceIceBaby, per his request*

IceIceBaby: u guys got a new plan yet?

TheSuperiorBlake: lincoln and i are on our way to your place to discuss specifics

i-make-it-go-boom: murphy and i are standing by for orders

and by standing by i mean sitting in his rust bucket truck arguing over which Halsey song to listen to... so hurry this up

TrashPrince: IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO CLOSER ONE MORE TIME I WILL LOOSE MY MIND

IT’S NOT EVEN A REAL HALSEY SONG

GASOLINE IS A REAL HALSEY SONG

HELL, I’LL EVEN LISTEN TO THE ACOUSTIC SETS IF U WILL JUST TURN OFF THIS DAMN CHAINSMOKERS SONG

i-make-it-go-boom: u shut ur whore mouth john murphy

closer is the anthem of our generation

TrashPrince: if i die because my brain melts in my skull, tell everybody that the Chainsmokers murdered me

I want it written on my headstone

Repeat it in ur ulogies

write songs about the poor sap who was killed by this god forsaken song from hell

TheSuperiorBlake: drama queen of the year award goes to murphy

Greenbean: again

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

♡ Immortal Love ♡

synopsis// “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” gains a whole new meaning when he’s a vampire and you’re, for lack of better words, his blood bank.

updates// everyday unless said otherwise

status// completed

warnings// angst?, mentions of blood, pg13!! bc tension 😏, profanity, mentions of violence, mentions of death

a/n// this is a male reader!! i promise after this one i’ll go back to gender neutral reader but i wanted to make this one with a male reader bc i luv this au :3

bite 1. censor vampire

bite 2. for your friends

bite 3. wasn’t flirting

bite 4. hunter era

bite 5. first kill

bite 6. dead or alive

bite 7. british people

bite 8. free friends

bite 9. under control

bite 10. a deal

bite 11. shadow man

bite 12. just his food

bite 13. big boy things

bite 14. old soul

bite 15. your neck

bite 16. hardly

bite 17. x to doubt

bite 18. lowest of lows

bite 19. psychic bond

bite 20. walking L

bite 21. get a life

bite 22. rescue

bite 23. doesn’t really matter

bite 24. sleep over

bite 25. friend

bite 26. one continuous day

bite 27. self care

bite 28. good friends

bite 29. the humblest

bite 30. protection

bite 31. the olympics

bite 32. heathen

bite 33. first crush

bite 34. “friend”

bite 35. not friends

bite 36. six feet under

bite 37. bella and edward

bite 38. about blood

bite 39. hypothetical

bite 40. for now

bite 41. delusional

bite 42. top secret

bite 43. zombie

bite 44. be oblivious

bite 45. off day

bite 46. imprint

bite 47. trouble in paradise

bite 48. deja vu

bite 49. vanished

bite 50. or something

bite 51. deal or no deal

bite 52. sexuality unknown

bite 53. special

bite 54. a team

bite 55. sake of my sanity

bite 56. domesticated

bite 57. lost puppy

bite 58. anyone but you

bite 59. can not confess

bite 60. more important

bite 61. warmth

vite 62. ominous

bite 63. sources

bite 64. the hype

bite 65. you do

bite 66. really like you

bite 67. in sync

bite 68. life

bite 69. your own son

bite 70. in any life

bite 71. puzzle pieces

bite 72. christmas morning

bite 73. our mess

bite 74. show you off

bite 75. competition

bite 76. husbands

bite 77. outlived

bite 78. a lot

bite 79. still good

bite 80. otherworldly

bite 81. three words

bite 82. surreal

bite 83. protect

bite 84. lover boy

bite 85. replaced

bite 86. it’s a date

bite 87. answers

bite 88. the best day

bite 89. ghosting you

bite 90. this is it

bite 91. really sick

bite 92. cruel

bite 93. they better

bite 94. say anything

bite 95. really out

bite 96. or something

bite 97. six feet under

bite 98. more than enough

bite 99. long enough

bite 100. teenage angst

^ next bites linked there! tumblr only allows 100 links per post sorry!