I'm sorry, as much as the artwork portraying infps is fabulous. I can't possibly be the only fellow INFP who is severely annoyed by the way INFPs are portrayed to be an ooey-gooey-uwu-hng-and all other pathetically 'cute-Kawai' things when in reality most of us look, fudge-caking dead and are generally feeding on their monthly depression and never-ending anxiety, addicted to coffee(of all kinds), always having dark circles from the peaceful nights of sleep striped away from us because of some reason most of us aren't sure of! to find comfort in writing the most holistic gut-wrenching somehow relatable poems.
They'd have ink stains all over their hands and even smudges of lead if they ever opted to sketch from reality as well.
Yes, I agree that most of us have a soft side to beauty, BUT still! not that "uwu" you know.
entp, enfp, intp, infp: considers possibilities of what to do instead of said task. starts typing but gets distracted when trying to choose a song to listen to. probably scrolls through tiktok. thinks that said task is too overwhelming. can't schedule an appointment on the phone by themself.
intj, infj, enfj, entj : plans out everything, but doesn't actually do it. wayyy too perfectionistic. has a bunch of pinterest boards (or playlists) related to said thing. not inspired. not enough pressure. "scheduled procrastination."
estp, esfp, istp, isfp: thinks the task is stupid and boring, and there are more fun/interesting things to do. also thinks that they have enough time to get it done but actually only has 2 hours. doesn't narrow down priorities. probably forget it existed in the first place
isfj, istj, estj, esfj: associates task with bad past experiences and avoids it. thinks it's not important + a waste of time compared to other things. keeps getting stuck on minor criticisms or flaws. doesn't put said thing on their to-do list (not in sight, not in mind!)
why learn? well, in short, typology can provide you with a better understanding of yourself and others, unravelling our strengths and weaknesses.
where to start
although many people who are new to typology start off with an interest in mbti (mostly due to the popularity of 16personalities and personality database), i actually recommend starting with temperaments, big 5 and/or enneagram instead.
temperaments (the four temperaments) is an archaic system, one that has its roots in medicine. it is simple and easy to understand, with there being four main types (sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic) that you can choose from, or blends between any two of them (for example, i am a blend between melancholic and choleric, therefore my temperament is melancholic-choleric). there are no contradictions between temperaments and any other system, and you can be either dominant in one or a blend of two just like yours truly!
big 5 is an empirically proven and scientifically endorsed typology system. it covers five core aspects of one's personality, such as openness to experience (inquisitive vs non-curious).
enneagram is a lot more complicated than the other two systems i've mentioned, featuring nine distinct personality types. however, i recommend tackling it first or prioritising it over the other systems, as i, and many others, would deem it the most important of them all. there is a lot to it, but that is simply par the course for typology. if you aren't prepared to read and dig deep, then maybe typology isn't for you.
resources :
"the complete enneagram" by beatrice chestnut !
beatrice chestnut is quite beginner-friendly, if you're just starting off, this particular book of hers is your best friend (mainly for enneagram, but also because it is a good taster of what you're getting into).
"gifts differing" by isabel briggs myers & peter b. myers
although i haven't mentioned mbti beyond discussing how newcomers cling onto it (typically 16p users), it is for this reason i feel compelled to share this particular resource. most people drop mbti the further they delve into typology, and i can't say i like the system either. however, this is your learning journey, and it's worth knowing what sites have been inaccurately portraying and selling.
there is lots of information out there relating to typology. other places to search include the internet archive for books and even personality database wiki pages for specific topics. remember to take a break if things get too overwhelming or stressful ! typology is for fun.
Educate them on "The Art Of War" from an early age. If it's hard for them to get it, I would go as far as publishing a children's version of it.
Teach them proper manners and etiquette.
Gift each of them a plant, they must keep alive to develop a caring mechanism.
As soon as they prove to me they can take care of it, I'll get them a pet of their own choosing. Preferably a dog, if our household doesn't have one already. An animal of whatever kind, teaches responsibility
Read them fairy tales and mimic the voice of the characters for a full-blown experience.
Drink tea/fresh juice with them every morning and ask how they plan to spend their day. Later when they grow up, we'll have coffee.
Family dinners. That's a must.
Always urge them to communicate with me and their father about their feelings. It's important to me that they realize that we're not exactly mind readers and neither are other people.
Make sure they know what sarcasm is from an early age. That ages well, I promise you. And besides with me being their mother, they can't escape it either. Better get used to it.
Teach them to always fight for what they want and achieve it through any means necessary. Killing is off the table (we're not in The Purge, darlings, it's still illegal) Unfair play is off limits too - we honour truth and justice in this house. Otherwise, there are no limits whatsoever.
Talk with them like they are adults. The dog doesn't say "woof woof", it barks.
No matter what anyone says, they'll get their first phones when they turn 6 or 7 (meaning when they enter school). Before that, screen time will be minimized to certain movies and tv shows that I may make a separate list for (comment down below what movies and tv shows you would play for your kids so I can include them; would be nice if you write your MBTI and enneagram as well)
On the subject of phones: if they don't pick up the first time, I can take it. But if they don't pick up after 30 minutes when I call them again, I will come to the school or wherever they are and they will be grounded for life ( That's extreme, I know, maybe not grounded but definitely scolded)
I will make sure they know how to observe their surroundings.
Teach them to take charge when they believe is necessary. They don't have to be leaders but they must know how to be ones in case of need. This ages well, I promise, pt.2.
Make sure that they know that for school projects everyone must do their portion of the work unless their teammates are incompetent and lazy. Then, they would have to push themselves more to make the project succeed. Doesn't have to be perfect or the best one but if my kids are doing it, it probably will be *hair flip*
Teach them to handle money wisely. I didn't develop that habit even though my parents advised me a lot and at 20 I still find it difficult.
Introduce them to basic medicines they sell at pharmacies as soon as they can understand me. I grew up in a family where at 6, I knew what homeopathic medicine to take, depending on my symptoms. My mother and grandmother have medical backgrounds so I always knew what to do and therefore was calm. My children will definitely know that too.
If I have more than one kid as I wish, I will teach them to look after one another and protect each other. They must understand that a brother or a sister is the mightiest weapon anyone could have.
Get their aunt aka my best friend to teach them martial arts or at least basic self-defence.
Make sure they read a lot. Any kind of book, whatever book they are interested in. I'm all up for it. Not liking books isn't an option because in my opinion there is a book for any taste.
Make sure they forge their own style but still dress with taste and elegance.
(This is just me having a stereotypical day where I felt, yet again, what grotesque things outsider’s emotions could be)( in this case it’s my parents)
For those who have similar experiences and also want free from violent, unpredictable and scary emotions, hope this picture soothes you like it brings me solace.
The goggles are from the INTP avatar from the 16personalities website
—
You are no warrior, and you harbor no hope. Your rest is no rest, and your battle has no intervals.
Your enemy is inescapable, undefeatable, so you learn to half ignore it and carry on. Inwards, there is sanctuary. You turn surviving and coping into a puzzle, sometimes it works, sometimes you’re just sorting out patterns when there is none. You try anyways, it tires you yet you won’t stop, it’s who you are.
You learn to knock on the hollowness that is your heart. It burns cold, calm — indestructible. You know that’s just an illusion, but the thought warms you through the night. It soothes you, watching all the shards burning through your horizon, believing that it’ll never disrupt the surface.
If there’s a meaning of all of this, you’re willing to wait for it.
INFP: Cos I don't reply quickly anymore, and I don't think I hype up your posts anymore, and I mostly keep to myself these days, and I'd rather watch my favorite shows than talk to you guys
INTP: Congrats
INFP: What?
INTP: You now have boundaries. I'm so proud of you