#19.1.2021

[zaynmalikupdates]

New Promotional Photo of Zayn - 19.1.2021

[esmew9785]

[endometriosis-andme]

What's worse than having awful cystitis for almost 10 days then having an early period when you start to feel better??

Getting cystitis the day after you come off your period!!

[devonjwerkheiser]

devonwerkharder “how’s everyone doing? • shot on film by @scottsimock“

[prosy-days]

January 19, 2021 - Day 214

Decided to drown into a book this evening.

[godsnameisjoy]

BEHOLDING ENERGY

Date: 19 January 2021

Duration: 53 minutes at 11:07 PM

Depth:

It was a good session. I didn’t catch 40 winks before I began meditating tonight. The mind was sharp enough to maintain the sequence of exercises. This was to my advantage.

Towards the end of the session, my body shook more in a tremble than a tremor. And that’s when I stopped meditating for the night.

An analogy of a magnet has been used by one of the monks of the Yogoda Satsanga Society of India. It is a talk that I have watched recently. Forces seated in the human head can attract/draw the energies that lay below and joint to the head.

These energies are tremendous. And one has to undergo a change in body before being able to hold a whole lot of energy. This seems compulsory. Magnetised meditation seems to stir the kundalini forces. Explains the tremors turning into trembles.

[phototagebuch]

19.1.2021: La promenade

[wastelandprincess]

"I just want to get better",

I lie through my teeth.

I spit out the words,

As they burn and they bleed.

I don't want healing.

I want bones,

I want grace.

I want people to wonder if I'll die in this place.

I want my hips,

to cut your lungs.

And for you to break my wrists,

With the slightest touch of your fingers.

19.1.2021

[tinted-neuro]

19.1.2021

Mornings with coffee, breakfast, and JC presentation. Late afternoons with an empty mug and plate and a report to write.

It gets dark early, as if it’s going to rain, and it makes me so so sleepy, especially after lunch. It doesn’t really rain though. I can feel myself being disconnected from the lab and the other students simply because I have only met them all once and even with the weekly JCs, I don’t feel like I’m actually working.

🎼 Genshin Impact’s OSTs have been accompanying me with work lately, my favs being Liyue and the Dawn Winery theme.

[mcytthings]

Do you think it's still a good thing to try earning his trust just to hurt him?

-HBomb94 to Niki about Tommy (stream New Beginnings, 19.1.2021)

[klinge-and-me]

17.1.2021

19.1.2021

21.1.2021

22.1.2021

[zaynmalikupdates]

Congratulations to Zayn! Keep streaming Nobody Is Listening on Spotify x

[esmew9785]

They are making plans in the Hall of Elders.

The babies grew up

[pastelsandhazelnutcoffee]

Day 112/100 days of productivity - 19.1.2021

Drops Portuguese

Duolingo Italian

Ordered some books from the uni library for my other papers

Set up most parts of my Notion

Wrote the fist third of my Communication paper

3.5 hours tutoring

1.5 hours online university class

Cut my own hair :3

[also I can't believe I have 3/8 papers finished already]

[and that I already got my first grade for one of my courses]

[nei-ning]

2 dreams. First from 2 nights ago, second from tonight.

**

1. Mantis. I threw up HUGE light blue mantis. Somehow I either had eaten it or it had got / grow inside me other way(s). I remember seeing that huge rear of its. It looked like ant’s “ass” but it was light blue and see-through. What was creepy too was that it was HUGE! I’m 163cm / 5,3 feet tall and it was bigger than I am! I remember wondering how that thing EVER had fit inside my stomach. It made me feel so sick so I threw up again, this time piece of this mantis’s ass coming out. It was like bitten-off piece. I felt even more sick, hggghhrr... And still do. (19.1.2021 - 20.1.2021)

2. Ruins. Light rusty red mixed pinkish color ruins with lots of stairs, levels, rose bushes and vines / creepers all around. This place was basically and literally in the middle of nowhere. It definitely looks like some fantasy land. While the ruins were lightly rusty red / mix of pinkish color, the background landscape had some light green - light yellow mixed together. Like the ground was light yellow while light green spots were definitely healthy and grass areas.

While the place was abandoned, had been who knows how long, it was still pretty but hell eerie in its own way. I saw the place above while there was middle aged man at the bottom level with more or less broken clothes. Definitely some sort of adventurer who had had some rough times. This dream turned to be like a game - for now since I was able to move the man (even that I didn’t had game controller etc.)

I made him run through the very small and short yard while admiring the ruins which were mostly covered by roses and creepers / vines. Towards the stairs, which were wide - like very wide - I made the man go and I could hear him admire the beauty of this place. He went up first set of stairs on second level. I don’t remember anymore for sure what was on that second level, but my next memory is from the third / top level where the earlier described landscape could be seen.

There also was big and round area to stand on to while the highest ruin wall was behind him / me. At the middle area of the edge of this standing area was remains of some sort of wall or railing while both side of it were white half remains doors. I didn’t know they were actually doors (yet) since they had been made to look like they were part of the brick / stone wall - which had collapsed over the time. Then on the another side of those doors were small spiral staircases while between them was lots and lots of rose bushes. All roses in every-single-bush were dark pink in color. But then, at the end of the said level, was wider spiral staircases. I remember I had brought the guy up on the staircase on our left. I think the right ones were collapsed or otherwise not good to be used.

As I stood there, face towards the landscape admiring everything, I heard a noise and I instantly went “That’s not good...” And it wasn’t! :’D Because either right behind (outside) or inside the collapsed outer wall was a creature who lifted it’s head up slowly while turning to look at the man while making creepy sound.

It wasn’t really a dragon, but it’s the closest thing how I can describe it. But it was like very creepy / demonic one. The head was HUGE! Like freaking huge! I don’t know did it had any flesh on its face at all, but the skull was covered with blood red layer. It had no eyes but this “red skin” went in the eye holes so there was no black holes. It didn’t had horns nor ears, but it had pure white and very light looking... Not really a hair but not really a mane either. Maybe some weird mix? However it was so light it was floating in the air around the hair and long neck easily even that there was no wind.

If it would had been nice creature, I would had admire it more, but I knew it was there and would come after the poor man. And it did. It came right behind the man on this top level and I, in panic while screaming at him to run, moved the guy in turn to those white little half doors. He managed to get the left door open, running down the stairs, this creature screaming and following him.

At the bottom level, right after the stairs, was very solid looking brown wall. At the bottom part of it had been carved more or less deep long squared shaped area. Few small vines hanged there near it while inside was few bigger stones / bricks which had collapsed and rolled there from somewhere. The man (I saw things from his behind here) stood right against the wall on the left side, panting hard in fear as we heard this creature approaching from the left. It was walking through the same road which we had used to get there and it was going to end up on this small yard area with broken fountain which we had walked past by while admiring the beauty earlier. This man eventually couldn’t wait to be found and probably eaten by this creature, since it was close already, so he ran towards the stairs slightly in front of him at the right side. He ran back at the top level where this all began, but the creature caught up on him.

Standing face to face with the creature the man was panting and sweating heavily, getting ready to be eaten / killed, but there suddenly was a flash on light blue light at his feet, said colored portal opening under his feet. The man fell right through / inside the portal.

I was now at the bottom level, again, but this time I now was inside Rise Raphael. Somehow he had been the man all along. I remember the feeling, also hearing, how hard and fast he was panting. How strongly his / mine / our chest was waving. I then heard Rise Leo’s voice. He sounded happy, lightly surprised, but most of all relieved.

He stepped right in front of Raphael (I didn’t see him, but I felt and heard him. He is so small compared to Raphael that the poor guy didn’t see him!) and HUGGED Raphael so tightly! I could feel it how he was hugging Raphael. There was so many emotions in this hug, but most powerful was relief. Raphael himself didn’t waste any time after feeling Leo hugging him. In disbelief and relief Raphael wrapped his massive arms around Leo, pressing his head down against Leo’s. God, how tightly and warmly he hugged! I have never felt such lovely and firm hug in my life! He was extremely grateful that Leonardo was there or had come to save him - because Leo’s portal did save him.

However, the dragon-demon creature was looking for them if it hadn’t spotted them already. Raphael knew and felt this when the creature screamed somewhere up behind them.

I didn’t see what happened to the boys because I woke up on the sound of my girl cat gently scratching the bedroom door, asking to be fed. (22.1.2021)

Here’s picture about the way, at least in some way / to the closest how the ruins looked more or less. Color was more rusty red and pinkish. If I could paint, I would paint the ruins myself, but that has to wait.

[pogled]

19.1.2021.