#2. you can think the sound of the music is cool without necessarily agreeing to anything else that comes with it

[gingerbreadmonsters]

organ music + writing about vampires is a classic for a reason

[whymustyouhurtmeinthisway]

Currently listening to Hawaii: Part 2 for the first time, I wanna see if it lives up to the hype. Thoughts:

(Sincere apologies to anyone who likes this album, I know that when I hear negative opinions of things I like, even if I disagree with them, they can genuinely ruin my enjoyment of said things, so if you’re like me, scroll past. /gen)

Introduction to the Snow: Eh, whatever, it’s the intro

Isle Unto Thyself: good? I don’t like the dude’s singing, but the rest of the song is catchy enough

Black Rainbows: Sounds like My Singing Monsters. Not fantastic, but fine

White Ball: Again, sounds like My Singing Monsters, and again, it’s fine

Murders: Kinda sucks, still dislike the dude’s voice and the lyrics sound like he’s trying to be a lot more interesting than he really is. Also I don’t know if having the piano be compressed to shit is an artistic choice or not, but either way it hurts my ears

*Japanese characters I don’t feel like copying and pasting*: I don’t know if the singer’s Japanese or not, but he sounds like a white dude trying his best to speak Japanese without actually knowing it. Also has some kinda crap autotune and fake trumpets. Ok, got to the bridge, actually speaking from experience as someone who knows French, this dude is definitely not French.

The Mind Electric: This one just kinda pisses me off. The reverse gimmick sounds cool on paper, but it results in a long-ass song whose first half is unlistenable and whose second half isn’t much better. The only cool thing they do is reversing insane so it’s forwards in the backwards part and backwards in the forwards part, but other than that the song kinda sucks.

Labyrinth: HELL YEAH. This is the only song I knew before listening to the album (I first heard of it from Penny Snapcube, who has “I am the mouse” and “I’m trapped!” on her soundboard.) This song’s so stupid, but it’s a breath of fresh air. I went into this expecting stuff like Labyrinth (not necessarily in them being rap-related, but in them being stupid with good musical bits) and so far I’m disappointed. This song’s still great though.

Time Machine: Oh god more autotune. Also that’s definitely a cut up Amen Break in the back. It’s fine? Better than some of the other songs in here, but not really noteworthy. Sounds kinda like a Kirby OST song that someone added bass, amen break drums, and shitty autotune vocals to.

Stranded Lullaby: Now that’s a Legend of Zelda harp midi if I’ve ever heard one. It’s alright, about what I expected from a song with lullaby in the title. I think it could stand to be shorter. More enjoyable than other songs on the album, but other than that there’s not much I can say.

Dream Sweet in Sea Minor: Alright, this is the one I’ve heard everybody say is great. Ok, starting with the intro again, classic. Wait, this is seven minutes long? Why? Wait holy shit is this where Feels Like We’re Flying But Maybe We’re Dying comes from? I hope it is, I love that lyric, it sucks so much. Oh god, more terrible French. THERE’S THE LYRIC. At first I thought it was from Tally Hall for whatever reason. This whole song sounds like background music from a commercial. There is so much melodrama for nothing. Oh the song just ends. Sucked.

In conclusion, I am thoroughly disappointed, I have seen nothing but praise for this album yet it has left me bereft of any sort of enjoyment. Except for Labyrinth.

To any fans of this album who don’t agree with my assessment, don’t feel bad.

1. You’re able to glean enjoyment from something that I cannot, and for that I envy you,

And 2. Don’t worry, I like some bad music too, i know what it’s like /lh

[littlemisslipbalm]

“harry’s stylist, right?” part II

Harry and his stylist go from colleagues to friends to lovers because they’ve been in love with each other from the jump

this gif bc i couldn’t fine the fit i wanted to showcase, but that night him and y/n get closer than they had gotten before :))

and we’re back :) - this is the last part of this i may do some little blurbs and stuff about these two if people want it (maybe) i hope you all enjoy this part, it’s not proofread so sorry about that lol. Feedback and reblogs are so very very appreciated, also feel free to message me about you’re feelings about this

Word Count: just over 10k | Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, implication of smut, i think that’s it

part 1

-

After the call with Jeff, which wasn’t really a conversation at all, moreso a berating from him, she was in the worst mood. She shrugged off the Bode jacket and hung it up in her entryway closet. She wasn’t planning on wearing it ever again. Without the jacket on, her shirt that seemed to be exactly on the nose with it’s “we’re in the shit” graphic was clear and she untucked it from her light mint pants. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally. Instead of picking her phone up again, she decided she could do without communication for a while. Her feet padded to her bedroom, after removing her nikes and socks. In her bedroom she opened up her record player, wanting music, but not wanting to be bothered with her laptop since it had a connection to the internet. 

She grabbed her Electric Warrior by T. Rex and slipped out the first record from its sheath. As she set up the music, she couldn’t remember where she’d even gotten the record but for some reason it had called to. She skipped over Mambo Sun, the first track, though, and had it play Cosmic Dancer first. It was calming to her, she swayed a bit to the soothing beat and then climbed into her bed. Staring at the ceiling, she wondered about when her life had gotten so complicated. The rhythm in the music and the exhausting thought material lulled her to sleep as the afternoon sun washed her room a perfect golden from behind her shade.

When she woke up again, it was midnight and she was starving. The record had stopped spinning hours ago, she hadn’t even gotten through side A. It was forgotten as she made her way to her kitchen, groggily.

After settling on cereal and an alcoholic seltzer for dinner, she was really in the mood to treat herself, she made her way back to her living space. On the couch, she tucked her legs beneath herself and spooned the sugary food into her mouth. She had only soy milk in the place because she didn’t like cow’s milk and it didn’t keep when she was gone for extended periods of time. Then as she sipped from the black cherry White Claw, she dug her hand into the cushion next to her. Her hand reemerged with her discarded phone from earlier. She decided it was reasonable to go on it now.

More messages from various people in her life and hundreds of social media notifications. She was going to ignore social media for as long as she possibly could. Four missed calls. 2 voicemails. Styles Harry. Why she kept contacts backwards in her phone was unimportant, it’s just what she did.  

She sighed and took a bigger sip of the barely alcoholic drink. Then clicked the voicemail notifications and pressed the first one on speaker as she began to read his texts as well. Then the next voicemail. She checked the time in California, it was still a reasonable part of the day there so instead of texting back she rang him.

“Hello?”

“Har- H. Hi.”

“Y/N! Are you alright?” The concern apparent in his tone. She was taken aback. He hadn’t necessarily sounded angry in his texts or voicemails, but she just assumed he was being courteous since it was a live conversation.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No! Why would I be?”

“Because I just had my ass handed to me by Jeff earlier.” She slightly mumbled and shrugged, still upset with how she had been spoken to by Jeff.

“Oh gosh, I told him not to be harsh. It’s honestly not a big deal. I thought it was fine, you texted me too!”

“Yeah, well apparently wearing your clothes means we’re dating and that’s not cool in the world’s eyes,” you scoff.

“I know how much you like that coat...I thought you looked great in it, too.” He finishes in a slight whisper, not wanting to be overheard.

“Harry…” you can’t keep the smile off your face. It was a cute compliment even if the situation wasn’t ideal. “Why do your fans have to be so smart and know there’s only two of those coats in the world and I don’t own the other one.”

He laughs, blushing at how you said his name. This time not using his nickname didn’t bother him, it felt even more intimate somehow.

He rubs a hand through his hair, “I know, pesky little devils, gotta love’em, though”

She hums, not sure if she can agree about loving them right now since they’re probably eating her alive all over social media.

“So you’re alright, darling?” He asks again.

“Mhmm,” she pauses at the pet name, it was soothing right now. All she wanted was to curl into his chest, but he was half a world away, quite literally. His words would have to do in his absence. “I’m really glad you’re not mad at me, H. That would’ve made this a hundred times worse.”

He huffs, wishing he could be with her to comfort her. He hated this part of his life. A friend couldn’t borrow a piece of his clothing without everyone assuming that they were seeing each other. It was disgusting and it made him dislike tabloids and social media even more than he already did.

“Trust me. I’d never be mad at you, pet. And I’d definitely never be mad at you for looking good as fuck in my clothes.”

“Shut up!” She squeals, his tone turning from earnest to teasing in one breath. He cackles on the other end of the line because despite her mean words, he could hear the smile on her lips.

“When are you flying back to London?” Her voice grows quiet again after she takes another sip of her drink.

“Thursday,” he almost whispers back, having contained his mirth again.

“We have some work to do on your Graham Norton and Jingle Bell Ball outfits. The listening party ones are all picked up -”

“Y/N,” Harry cuts her off, “It’s late for you, go to bed. Try not to stress out too much, we’ll talk when I’m back about work. For now, take a few days off to not think about my clothes.”

She sighs, “Thanks, H. You’re right. Have a good rest of your day.”

“Goodnight, m’love.”

She ends the phone call and chalks the almost ‘my’ sounding syllable that she heard before love was just her tired mind and Harry’s mumbling voice. It most certainly wasn’t.

-

After a restful few days of doing absolutely nothing, something rare for Y/N, she was extremely well rested. So much so that she was peacefully asleep when Harry let himself into her flat since they had agreed to meet at her place when he got back to London. As much as he wanted her to take time off and not over work herself, his schedule was a busy one and now that he was back, they had work to do.

Inside her flat, he was greeted with silence. He made his way to her bedroom at the back of the flat. He’d been here a handful of times. She always told him she preferred to spread out when she worked and Harry’s was the place for that. The door to the bedroom was slightly ajar and he pushed it open slowly with his ring clad hand. His black nails are freshly painted and shiny, no chips. Still in her bed, Y/N shifted around softly. He smiled to himself, taking in how the room smelled over lavender and how she had pink floral sheets. He walked to the window and raised the shade, hoping to have her wake up without and coaxing from him.

“H,” her voice mumbles into her pillow and he thinks she’s woken up. His face turns to look at her, but her eyes are still closed and she looks completely asleep. He wonders if she’s trying to trick him, but then she mumbles again.

“Mhhh, tha’ tickles,” and she giggles. He kind of grimaces, feeling like he shouldn’t be hearing this. He hadn’t known she spoke in her sleep, it was sweet, but with the context right now, he thought him having this knowledge might not sit well with her.

“Y/N,” he says loudly, before clearing his throat. Her eyes shoot wide and she sits up, dropping the sheet she had been snuggling.

“Harry! Oh my god!”

“Meeting, remember?”

“Oh my god,” she glances around her surroundings, Harry still standing at her window. “What time is it?”

“1 pm. We said 1 right?”

“We did, I just...I don’t know what happened. Sorry, give me a second. I’m out of it.”

When she emerged from her room, dressed and ready for the day, Harry had brewed a pot of coffee with her machine that she really only had for guests.

“Sorry again,” she sits at her countertop, searching for her notebook in her bag.

“No worries,” then he leans across the countertop, “Seemed like you were in the middle of a nice dream.”

His brows are raised as she avoids his gaze. She flushes easily, “I- it was...just one of those usual dreams.”

“You have dreams about me often?”

“I didn’t say that!” Her eyes shoot up to meet his and he grins. He takes a sip of his coffee before speaking again.

“I heard you say ‘H’.”

She rolls her eyes, “That proves nothing.”

They both stare at each other for a minute, not talking or moving. Harry is simply grinning at her as she twitches her hand with her pen in it now. Her eyes are trying to figure out what Harry’s getting at, searching his expression for how he feels about knowing she dreams of him. She certainly wasn’t going to get into it with him, even if he did continue prodding.

“Alright,” she begins when he doesn’t seem to want to press it further. “Oh!” She jumps up, dropping her pen and forgetting about whatever else she was going to say. “Your jacket! And shirt! I cleaned the shirt and the jacket…” She runs out of the room to go to her front closet where she had hung up both the jacket and the shirt.

Returning, she holds them out to Harry and he rounds the countertop to look at them.

“Perfect shape,” he admires the spotless shirt and his beloved jacket. He puts them on the back of the chair that was next to them. “Won’t forget my jacket again.”

She smiles sheepishly, thinking back to Jeff’s conversation with her. Harry notices her change in demeanor and takes one of her hands. Her eyes flash up to his face and her body tenses, he feels it even in her hand.

“Have you gone on any social media since you’ve been home?” His eyes are wide as he runs his thumb over the back of her hand.

She softens slightly, “Oh yeah, after the first day I decided to check. Most were funny and sweet, their nasty comments didn't get to me.”

Her eyes are big on her face and Harry watches as her worries and concerns all wash through the swirling colors in them. He wants to take all of that pain away and just stare into her abyss forever.

“What did Jeff say exactly?” He knows that’s what she’s alluding to. Harry loved his manager, but when he had called him about the jacket incident he had been pretty short with Harry and hadn’t given much information on his chat with Y/N. The way she looked right now bothered him because ultimately Harry was in charge of Y/N in his employment of her and if Jeff had acted like her superior in a way that was harmful he’d be downright upset.

Her eyes grow glassy immediately and Harry’s anger begins to bubble in the pit of his stomach. She tries to blink anything away, but fails.

“I don’t know why I’m crying, it wasn’t terrible. It’s just, all my life, I’ve had to work to be taken seriously because of who I am and I hate when I get talked down to by a man. Especially over a stupid fucking publicity thing for you. Like I’m sorry, but I don’t see you as a public figure where I have to worry about every goddamn thing I do messing up your image.” She pauses, taking a deep breath, realizing she’d gotten really worked up as she spoke. The tears running down her face more in anger than sadness. Harry watches on, letting her work through her thought process. “He was just so mean… for what?” She whispers finally.

“Oh god…darling,” Harry grips her hand more firmly. He wants to take her in his arms, but he’s not sure if that’s what’s best for her right now, so he just keeps holding her hand. She stares up at him, blowing a piece of hair out of her face. Her eyes now tinted a light red.

“I’m sorry he spoke to you in that way. That isn’t his job at all, I’ll definitely talk to him since I didn’t have the full story before. He gets very worried about the media perception thing, especially right now with the album.”  

She bites the inside of her cheek, blinking up at Harry. “I know your image is important, too, otherwise why the fuck would I be here? Right? I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal I borrowed the jacket.”

“In a perfect world my image wouldn’t matter at all,” Harry sighed, “Fame is a stupid, fickle thing musicians like me get stuck with.”

“Please, you love the attention,” she teases, poking at his chest. The sweatshirt he wore wrinkling under her touch.

“‘M serious,” he insists, “I’m saying it shouldn’t matter that you borrowed my jacket, but sadly it comes across to the rest of the world like I’m dating you.” He pokes her sternum in return.

“And that would be the end of the world?” she smiles, her tone still teasing, but that worry is back and swimming in her eyes again.

This time, though, Harry must not see it because he laughs and lets go of her hand. “For a lot of people, I think it might be.”

She bites at her lip and tries to contain the laugh that bubbles in her. He was right and as he wandered back into the kitchen for more coffee, she shook her head trying to rid herself of those pesky feelings that had been hoping for a different answer.

-

The next few weeks go off without a hitch. Harry’s outfits look incredible for the listening parties. Then for the Graham Norton Show, the Jingle Bell Ball, and the One Night Only at the Forum. Every single outfit is received with praise and everything seems to be coming up Harry Styles. Y/N has been traveling to most of his appearances, making sure everything is in order before he goes out. She’s always by his side before he walks out into the public eye. Taking his picture and saving it in the lookbook that keeps growing, smoothing over his lapels, either unbuttoning or buttoning a middle button when she thought he had too many or not enough undone for the look. Whatever it was, she was there for him.

Then, after his appearances, they would debrief. Debriefs really were just time that Harry carved out in his schedule to just be alone with Y/N. Sure, they talked about clothes, that’s how they had first connected, but it always turned to other ideas. They’d talk about his songs and she’d ask about the meanings that he wouldn’t share with the rest of the world. He’d happily tell her about it and they enjoyed that time together. There were stolen glances and lingering touches, but at the end of the day they were professionals who were friends. It wasn’t maybe what either of them wanted, but they weren’t unhappy.

Harry just got back from Los Angeles after filming for his Ellen show appearance and he was set to play the Bowery Ballroom tomorrow in London. After this there was going to be a lot of downtime on Harry’s schedule because of the holidays. He had marked out almost a whole month of time off, at least from appearances. They still had to start planning tour outfits and finalize the outfits for the events after the break. Right now, all she was focused on was getting Harry into the beautiful yellow Gucci suit that was a twin of the Watermelon Sugar suit he had worn on Saturday Night Live. Harry said he wanted to check the suit before tomorrow for some reason, so Y/N had made her way over.

She finished buttoning the sleeves of the jacket and stepped back to admire Harry once again. No matter what he wore he always looked marvelous in her eyes. She’d argue anyone could say that about Harry though. He could pull anything off and make it his own with barely any effort.

Today, his hair was disheveled and mused from his plane ride back into London. The flight from California to England was a rough one, even when you traveled in the type of luxury Harry did. Despite his tired body and eyes, the suit looked stunning on him. He wore it without shoes and she giggled when she saw his feet. His feet tattoos never failed to make her laugh and she had no explanation for why.

While Harry looked good in everything, there actually was something a little off with the suit right now. Normally, it hugged him just right to make him look perfectly muscled and defined, but it seemed to be hanging a little looser in some areas.

She tapped a finger to her lip, looking him over, unsure of what was off.

“Did you lose weight, H?”

“Huh?” He looks down at himself and somewhat notices the looser fit, but wasn’t quite sure if he had lost weight. “Don’t think so.”

She hums and steps closer to him, dropping her hands to tug at various parts of the suit, trying to figure out whether she should take anything in or leave it be.

“It’s probably all the travel I’ve been doin’. Can be draining me more than I realize.” He ponders as she continues to work silently over the suit.

Her hands travel beneath the suit and encircle his waist, almost as if she’s hugging him, but not really. His stomach flexes at the contact, her chest pressed softly against his. She grips a bit of the shirt from the back and then unfolds herself from him to look at the mirror. The shirt is now taut against his sternum and pectorals under the coat. She tilts her head, silently asking him his opinion.

“I think it’s fine the way it is, honestly.”

“Okay,” she nods and releases her hold on the shirt, hand slithering out from beneath his coat. He exhales deeply through his nose. “Make sure you eat properly tonight.” She says before beginning to pack up her things, done for the day. Harry begins to undress himself.

She turns back to face him as he hands her the jacket and shirt, her eyes run over the length of his torso, both for the sake of checking on his health and for other purely selfish reasons. All the tattoos still remained where they always were when she saw him like this. It never got old, his beautiful body. He didn’t even need clothes to look good. She blinks back to reality when the fabric comes in contact with her hand.

“Make sure you treat yourself this holiday season, you deserve it, H. And it seems like any weight you ever gain is muscle anyways, so you don’t exactly have to worry around the sweets table.”

Harry laughs heartily as he slips on his long sleeve shirt he was wearing. Then he starts on the pants as she turns away again to hang up the top parts of the suit.

Finally, she adds when he hands her the suit pants, “Just don’t want you overworking yourself, seriously, H.”

He looks at her as he buttons up his baggy blue jeans. The outfit he wore was just the first clean things he had grabbed when he had gotten home. His green eyes turn serious after the mirthfilled last few moments.

He crosses to her side as she puts away the clothes in the garment bag. His hand lands softly on her shoulder and she turns to him at his touch. “I know. You’re so good to me, darling. Always making sure I’m taking care of myself…”

It’s quiet. The soft breeze in the London air outside barely whispers around the house. Harry’s voice was laced with love, even if it wasn’t his intention. His ‘thank you’ was piercing into her heart and his touch wasn’t helping her stay focused. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt Harry take a step closer to her, his head ducking slightly down to her level. Then, right on the edge of her left temple and her hairline, his soft lips pressed against her skin. They brushed against her for just a moment, lingering for the respectful amount of time. But all she wanted was anything but respectful. She wanted his lips pressed against hers, she wanted his hands in her hair, yanking her deeply into him. She wanted to scream when he pulled away, but she didn’t. She smiled warmly up at Harry and her eyelashes fluttered on their own accord like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Thank you,” he whispers again.

“What would you do without me?” She pushes at him playfully, shaking off her giddiness. Then she turns back to her work, scooping up all the items of hers on the table.

“Probably have to walk around naked, huh?”

“Oh my god!” She laughs and starts for the door, Harry follows behind to walk to her out to her car. “Maybe I should quit! People would love it.” She continues laughing as she hangs the garment in the passenger's seat side.

“No thank you, please,” Harry hurriedly says.

She turns to him as she closes the door and leans against the car. This was their routine right before she left, a final chat against the car before she drove off for the night.

“Tomorrow’s going to be amazing, H. It’s gonna be electric!” She scrunches her nose slightly at the pun about the venue as she smiles up at him.

He sticks his tongue into the side of his cheek, holding back a laugh. His eyes narrow at her, slyly. “Very funny.”

She only winks at him before pushing herself off of her car and walks to the driver’s side of the car.

He waves as she begins to pull out of the driveway and she flashes him a peace sign and a mouthed ‘Bye’ when she turns onto the street.

-

After the Bowery Ballroom show, Y/N barely sees Harry at the after party. She doesn’t worry about it too much. His management was going to have a holiday party next week before the little break began for the team. So, she knew she’d see him before she flew back to see her family for the holidays. She was going home for two weeks and then would be back for New Year’s and then would get back to work after that.

She saw Harry exactly twice after the show. First, she saw Harry right after the show and he was all sweaty and exhilarated. He tackled her in a bear hug with such strength she would have fallen back if he hadn’t been holding her so tightly. When he pulled away, he placed two extremely slobbery kisses on her cheeks and she laughed, tipping her head back in pure bliss. Then he was pulled away by Jeff to change and get ready for the after party.

Jeff had apologized over text about the tone he had taken over the whole jacket thing, but only Harry had told him to. It was fine with Y/N, she told him that too, but she just never felt like being around him for very long if she could help it after that. That’s why she liked that most of her job entailed dealing with Harry directly. If she had to go through Jeff for everything she’d likely pull her hair out. He was still short with her at whole team meetings and not necessarily courteous when they were around each other casually. Like she said, it was fine, she just didn’t make it her business to be around Jeff.

The second time she saw Harry was around half past one am. She was pretty sure it was time for her to uber home and she wanted to say goodbye to Harry. Her well-liquored body stumbled around the big room. Deciding to take shots with the band had gotten her to where she was now and she wasn’t complaining she was happy. She was in a celebratory mood and wanted to see Harry right now. Tell him how much fun she had and how proud she was of him. How much she loved him… Hopefully she kept that part to herself.

“Harry!” She finally exclaims, coming upon a group of people surrounding the star himself. She ignored the rest of the people, likely stars too, but she really couldn’t care less. One of them tried to straighten up as if he was going to block her from Harry, feeling like she maybe wasn’t someone Harry wanted to see since they didn’t know her. No one seemed to ever recognize Y/N as Harry’s stylist when it mattered. Harry waved them off, a little drunk as well, but obviously recognizing Y/N.

“Darling!” He exclaims and raises his arms out to her. She grips onto him quickly and snuggles into him happily. With her still in his arms, he turns them from the prying eyes of the group he had been with.

She raises her head from his warm chest so that her lips are near his ear, “Congratulations, Mr. Styles.”

“Thanks, baby,” he purrs into her ear, his voice coarse and low, carrying over the music. She giggles at the nickname, her entire plan going out the metaphorical window.

Her fingers smooth up over the fabric on his chest, a nice short sleeve silk button down that was tucked into dark high waisted trousers - they’d picked it out last week. One of her fingers begins to trace around his collarbone after she reaches the opening of the shirt. His eyes flutter shut at the contact. They were so needy for each other. Each touch would coarse heat through them every time.

“I’m going…” She says after a moment of silence between them. The party was raging around them, most not paying any mind to the two of them off in their own world.

“Don’t go,” Harry practically begs. A hand flies up to pet over the top of her hair and she smiles even wider.

“It’s late and I’m tired,” she makes a face in response to Harry’s pout, “You have lots of people to entertain, Mr. Styles.” Her teeth capture her bottom lip as she stares at him intently.

He groans and pulls her closer. This time his lips brush right against her ear and she wants to shiver, but he keeps her in place. “If you keep calling me that, you’re gonna drive me insane.”

Her eyes widen but her hazy mind isn’t processing all of what is going on. She barely takes inventory of ‘baby’, for him to say she’s turning him on without actually saying it. Tomorrow Y/N would have to deal with that one.

She pulls back from him, creating space between their chests, but he still holds her waist close to him. She leans up and places a kiss on the corner of his lips. It’s technically supposed to be a kiss on the cheek but if she had moved her lips a millimeter to the right they would have been on Harry’s. This gesture has his grip tightening on her, but she pulls away.

“Goodnight!” She sings as she bounces out of sight, wiggling her fingers in a wave before completely being gone.

Harry sighs and runs a hand over his face, kind of in shock of the last five minutes. He had liked it. He just hadn’t expected it. When he turns his attention back to the group that was behind him, it’s not the same as it was before. Jeff looks at him with narrowed eyes and Harry’s eyes go wide and his grin widens as well.

-

Tonight is the management holiday party for Harry’s team. Y/N and Harry had seen each other two days after the Electric Ballroom to debrief, but mostly to get brunch. They didn’t talk about the little teases they shared at the after party. Both of them just assumed that the other probably didn’t remember and didn’t want to go through the trouble and embarrassment of recounting it. Alcohol has that effect of making you a little bolder than you actually are.

Brunch with Harry solidified Y/N’s thoughts on fame. Celebrity could be so strange, because there was the one day when she got photographed with just Harry’s jacket on and there was speculation of dating, but then she could go out to brunch with him and not be bothered at all. It made absolutely no sense.

Anyway, tonight there were no gifts, but Y/N had gotten Harry something even though he said he never needs anything. She hoped she’d be able to give it to him after they were walking back to their transportation since she wanted it to be a surprise and not have everyone know she gave him a gift. It wasn’t a big deal - or maybe it was - it was just an item she knew Harry had been fawning over. It was so him and she knew he’d probably end up buying it for himself eventually, but it felt nice to be able to give him something for once. Price didn’t matter. Still, she was a little nervous and tucked and re-tucked it several times in the back seat of her car before heading inside.

It was a restaurant his management had rented out for their party. She gave her name and headed inside. The lighting was overly dimmed and it smelled like expensive alcohol and delicious food. It was everything an A-list singer deserved as a celebration. She never could fully grasp that the Harry she had gotten to know as her friend was also the same Harry that the entire world was infatuated with, for good reason. He was charming in the best way, terribly sincere, insanely talented, and all around a good human being. She knew that, it just surprised her that everyone else knew it too. There was just that disconnect for her that she shared him with the rest of the world.

Her high heeled heels brought her to the backroom of the restaurant. They managed to shimmer even in the dim light. She had gone for winter chic with a sequin and mesh white dress, that looked like fresh snow with a cream and blue swirling design on the under layer so that her undergarments weren’t showing through. It was like a modern ice princess look that was finished with her heels that had sparkles on the entire back of them. Her hair was down and her makeup a little more done up than usual. She used a light blue eyeshadow to imitate ice and added some rhinestones on the inner parts of her eyes. She may have watched a Euphoria-inspired makeup look tutorial on youtube and she wasn’t afraid to admit that.

The scene she came upon was what she expected. Lots of men in suits and a good amount of women in power suits too. The people in any interesting clothes were Harry and his band. Some of the business people’s partners were dressed up more but it all wasn’t too exciting. Plus, Harry’s famous friends group hadn’t shown up yet. Y/N hid her disappointment easily, not surprised about the lack of flavor she saw in the style. She just repeated the mantra her mother had always told her: “You can never be overdressed, only underdressed.” It stuck with her always and made her go for those bolder styles when she needed to.

Harry was there, sipping on a glass of water. She figured he might not want to get started on drinking so early in the evening. Tonight didn’t feel like a drinking night for her either. After the last big party, she had woken up with a massive hangover and a few memories that she wished she hadn’t made. She wasn’t planning on repeating that series of events.

As she goes to grab a glass of water on the large table, she gets a tap on her shoulder. She spins.

“Happy Holidays, darling!”

Her eyes widen and her smile immediately grows. Harry grins back at her, his mouth open in the perfect winning smile of his and his eyes twinkling with happiness.

“Happy Holidays to you too, Mr.-” She stops herself, remembering back to the last party, “H.” She finishes firmly after clearing her throat. Harry’s grin turns to a wicked knowing smirk.

“I’m happy you came! I know you’re not super connected to all of the groups here, Harry Lambert is around somewhere though and I know he’s been wanting to talk with you about clothes.”

Harry watches as her eyes shine even brighter when he mentions the other stylist. It was true, Y/N didn’t really mesh with any of the groups that worked around Harry. The stylist kind of stood alone in regards to where she fit into his life, not the business part, not the band part, not the crew, and not the other celebrities. Harry Lambert and other fashion people didn’t always come to these events so it was seldom that Y/N had her own people to talk to. Not that mingling was hard for her, he just knew she didn’t like to do that as much so whenever another stylist or designer was there he always made sure to introduce them - if they weren’t already acquainted.

“That’s amazing! I haven’t seen him in ages… I’ll have to get his opinion on how I’ve been doing.”

Harry licks his lips as he laughs a little at her comment. She looked beautiful tonight and he wanted to tell her.

“Harry. What the hell are you wearing?” Her eyes flash as she takes in his appearance.

He looks down at himself and then back at her confused. They hadn’t picked the outfit out, but he thought it looked nice.

“Obviously not the suit! On your head?”

“Oh. It’s a gift from Mitch and Sarah.” He pauses to reach up to play with the headband sat on top of his curls. “It’s mistletoe and it seems like you’re standing beneath it. You know what that means,” he toys with it as he wiggles his eyebrows.

She scoffs sarcastically, looking to the side for a means of escape, “No way.”

“C’mon! It’s tradition!” He steps forward playfully and she places a hand on his chest.

“You can kiss my cheek.” She says finally and Harry looks at her disapprovingly.

He wags a finger at her with his free hand, “You’re the one under the mistletoe, you have to kiss me.”

“Okay that’s definitely not how this works! Now you don’t get any kiss at all, you cheeky bastard.”

“Fine. But don’t come crying to me when you’re the one with coal in your stocking.”

“Haha.” Her eyes once again roll to the side as she pushes him back and he steps back like she actually had a strong push. Then they both actually laugh and she gives him a quick side hug with a whispered, “there”. Harry smiles down at her, but it falters slightly when she’s already pulling away. He wanted her at his side the entire night, but sadly that wasn’t reality.

She drags him around the restaurant in search of Harry Lambert since the party had started to grow and she needed his height to get her where she wanted to go. Maybe. Or maybe she just liked the way he held her hand to lead her through the crowd that was most definitely not dense enough for her to have to hold on to him to stay with him at all.

She sees more of Harry at this party. They have some good conversations about plans for the holidays and snickering about who was already too drunk even though it wasn’t even midnight. She can’t believe he keeps on the stupid headband all night, giving and receiving various types of kisses from every person he talks to. Some are kisses on the cheek, others are friendly smooches on the mouth. Thankfully all of them are those cute little pecks that friends always tend to share, otherwise Y/N might have had to excuse herself and leave early. Jealous little thing.

As the night dragged on, she began to question herself on that front. Why was she growing jealous when friends would kiss Harry. She could've kissed Harry. She practically did the other week. But now, after refusing him a mistletoe kiss and seeing everyone else do what she didn’t have the courage to do, she felt childish. Well, childish or not, she knew why she couldn’t kiss him. Kissing Harry wouldn’t be just a friend thing for her. It would mean a lot more and if it was just a friend thing for him she wouldn’t be sure if she could handle going on with their working relationship after. Her job was the most important thing in her life. Being a stylist, loving clothes, and working on personal designs for the future was her life. Giving up this prestigious of a job was out of the question. Maybe the idea of being with Harry had crossed her mind, but she didn’t know how it could ever be realistic. If they got together could she keep her job? Would she have to quit? And find a new one? There were too many unknowns for her to ever actually entertain it. That’s why they went to the edge so often, she always would back away and she was sure that if she didn’t, Harry would for her.

He knew her. He knew her passion, he watches it firsthand everyday they work together. Even when they’re not working he can see her mind forming different ideas just based off of the things she sees people wear on the streets. He watches her fingers fiddle over her phone, typing out notes for design ideas and screenshotting inspiration. So every time they went to the edge of changing their relationship, he knew he couldn’t push it because he never wanted to hurt her or her dreams in some way. She was too important to him to simply mess that up.  Even if it hurt him.

So when Harry slides in the back of her car that night at 2 am because Y/N says she has something important to show him, he’s fully ready to stop their flirting from going any further. And when she tells him she needs to show him something, she has the most pure intentions when she pulls out the nicely wrapped box, its wrapping paper a swirling lavender pattern that’s really not festive at all, but she prefers it.

He looks between her and the box that she’s now placed in his lap. His green eyes flickering even in the darkness of the car, the city lights illuminating the backseat enough for them.

“You know I don’t need anything…” He fiddles with the skinny mesh ribbon neatly tied around the box.

She makes a little gesture, pushing him to open the present, “I know, but I also know you’ve been wanting this and you deserve it.”

He unwraps the paper to reveal a Gucci box and he rolls his eyes at her, but smiles genuinely as he lifts the top of the box off. It reveals a 1955 Horsebit Shoulder Bag in beautiful shiny black leather. It’s gorgeous.

“I can’t...I don’t know what to say,” Harry’s eyes are huge as his delicate hands ghost over the bag's details. He had been wanting it and he hadn’t gotten the courage to buy it yet. He liked purses, but sometimes he even had his doubts about what he could pull off.

His eyes go back to her and she smiles widely at him, all her teeth on display because she’s just that happy. “This is a really expensive bag, Y/N.”

“If it makes you feel better I can charge it as a wardrobe expense, but then it’s not really a gift from me,” She sighs at his unrelenting gaze.

“Thank you.” He touches at the bag again and then does a dance in his spot. “And don’t worry, I will always remember this as a gift from you. I love it.”

She smiles and leans over the box to look at the bag, admiring the beauty of it as well. “It’s pretty great.”

“Mhmm,” Harry hums and she raises her eyes, seeing his trained on her face. “You’re under the mistletoe again, darling,” he smirks.

Her breath stops once again, how could he do that to her so easily? Their eyes stay locked under the city lights. The fake mistletoe bobs above them still connected to the silly headband. It’s colorful leaves and fun stripes mock her when she flicks her gaze up to it for a moment. Then back to Harry. Harry who’s holding the gift she just gave him. Harry who looks beautiful tonight. Harry who is her favorite person in the world to spend time with.

Now. Now is when she pulls back from the ledge. This is when she takes a step back and stops herself. When Harry laughs it off. When she pushes him away. When they go about the rest of their day like that electricity hadn’t gone up either of their spines.

But that’s not what happens. Instead, she nods in agreement and then crashes her lips against Harry’s. It’s not like those friend kisses that had happened with him all night under that same mistletoe. It’s hard and hot and fast. Her lips are pressed to his for one searing moment and then she’s biting his lip, desperate to taste more of him. She had been longing for this for so long and now that she had it, she couldn’t let it go.

Harry’s hands fly to her cheeks as he pulls her closer, more into his lap. He pushes the box into the front area of the car blindly. The gift was completely forgotten. This was a far more important matter. Her lips were wet and plush and they tasted like the single Manhattan she had halfway through the night and vanilla lip gloss. When she bites his lip, he can’t hold back the moan inside his throat and she presses her tongue into his mouth quickly. He was her oasis and she had been traveling for months. He responds with similar vigor, enjoying the way her body presses to his in the backseat of this little car.

They kiss for as long as they can. Licking, sucking, and biting each other’s lips to taste as much as they can. But it’s just kissing. Neither of them work to travel anywhere else. Their lips are seemingly enough. Each press of their lips communicates what they had been longing for. It’s euphoric.

When the windows start to fog and her eyes open for a random moment, she realizes they need to cool whatever this is.

“H-Harry,”  She gulps for a breath of air and she tries to get his attention. “I gotta get home.”

“Come back to my place,” he mumbles into her collarbone, happily licking over his love bite.

She laughs and swallows slowly, “That is definitely out of the question, I have a flight tomorrow.”

He removes his mouth from her and straightens up. His lips are even brighter pink than usual and perfectly puffy. His hair disheveled from her hands. She blushes at the thought.

“Right, forgot about that,” he opens the car door and they both slide out. They stand at her car, just like they usually did outside his house. However this time is quite different from most.

They sigh heavily, in unison. The winter air is cold in London. She shivers slightly and knows she can’t stay in his presence much longer.

“Merry Christmas, H.”

He leans down and places one last sweet kiss to her lips. She wrinkles her nose and smiles  unabashedly.

“Merry Christmas, Darling.”

-

Harry and her don’t talk as much while she’s back home for the holidays. There’s no work to be discussed and while they parted on not necessarily bad terms, there was definitely a conversation that needed to be had between the two. Neither seemed to want to have that conversation over the phone, or worse, text. So for the next week and a half, Harry and Y/N exchanged texts of funny memes that reminded them of each other and odd anecdotes from family members that had made them laugh. Nothing really substantial, just small, I was thinking of you messages.

When she walked out of the luggage carousel at London Heathrow Airport, she expected to be getting in the queue for an uber. Instead, before she could cross the street to get to the queue even, a tall man stopped her. A tall, scruffy, extremely buff, extremely handsome, and extremely kissable man. Harry. It would be terribly strange if it was anyone else.

“Excuse me, ma’am, do you need a lift back to your flat?” His dark sunglasses cover his face and a big coat, scarf, and hat make him hardly recognizable. The curls sticking out from beneath the cute knit scarf are thankfully a dead give away for her. As well as his perfect drawling voice.

She shivered in the cold, her matching grey sweatpants and Treat People With Kindness sweatshirt had been warm enough on the flight, but proved inadequate for almost January in London. Yet, Harry’s presence brings a smile to her face.

“It’s good to see you, H.”

He laughs, his cover obviously blown. His arms encircle her body and she instantly melts into his embrace. His large coat easily fell around her and warmed her. His own natural body heat adds to her new found warmth as well.

“You too,” he murmured. His head buries into the crook of her neck, warming her cold skin.

He pulls back after a rather long embrace, realizing they’re still out on the sidewalk. He takes one step back and she visibly deflates at his absence, the cold once again surrounding her.

“Let’s get you home,” he grabs at the handle of her suitcase in one hand and her hand in the other. The warmth returns and she grins, placated by his touch.

“So are you coming to my party tonight?” He inquires once he settles into the driver’s seat after putting her suitcase in the back.

She shifts in her seat, arms wrapped tightly around herself, still cold without any warmth from Harry or the car. “Don’t you suppose there was a reason why I chose to come home today?”

Harry’s ears perk at the use of home, never assuming Y/N viewed London as her home, still it made him smile.

As the car purrs to life, heat immediately seeping out of the seats and vents, Harry’s phone connects as well. NFWMB by Hozier begins to play softly and she glances at Harry again. The song was so sultry and soft, like expensive dark chocolate melting on your tongue. The mood in the car seemed to shift. Their eyes met, Harry’s green ones narrowing at her, trying to decipher the look she was giving to him.

Then he drove off, softly singing along to the words through the sleepy streets. It was surprisingly quiet out for the holidays, people choosing to lay low during the day so they could celebrate the changing of decades in full force tonight.

After the song ends, his eyes travel over to her again and she’s already looking at him. She had missed his face. Sure, he’d sent some silly selfies while she was gone. Mostly on Christmas Eve with his family when he had gotten drunk on mulled wine and eggnog and brandy. Still, in person, he was even more beautiful. The high cheek bones that glistened with a shine most makeup could only hope to produce. Full raspberry lips with stubble growing to frame above and below. The crinkles growing on his forehead and by his eyes that showed him aging with grace. The precious few moles that had gotten lucky enough to live on his face forever. His big green eyes that were consistently bright with interest and intellect, but deep and knowing despite his loving demeanor. She loved those big green eyes, they were just so big and she didn’t understand how no one took the same interest in them as her. All of it, just sitting there beside her. Don’t even get her started on the soul that inhabited the beautiful man beside her. She never would stop spiraling then.

“What?” He asks softly, the sounds of Paul McCartney during some era fading in.

She blinks, hazily in admirance, “Nothing,” she replies.

“What?” He insists, laughing slightly, the lips she loves so much widening in excitement.

“Just missed you.”

Her voice is quiet but strong, serious. A blush creeps up his neck, taking hold of his features.

“Missed you too,” his left hand reaches across the console to take hold of her hand that resided on her thigh. He squeezes her hand softly and they both smile at each other again.

“Don’t worry, I can get my stuff upstairs. I don’t want you being out in the cold any longer than you have to. I’ll see you tonight, H!” She pushes her body across the console and places a kiss on his cheek before jumping out of the car. Harry makes a half smile, knowing he can’t change her mind. He waves to her behind the window as she travels into her building.

“See you.” He says to himself before driving back to his home to finish up preparing for tonight’s festivities. The party was going to be more intimate than the Christmas party at the restaurant. Tonight was just Harry’s family and closest friend - the band, Jeff and his family, Y/N, and a few others.

-

The whole night Harry and Y/N are within a foot of each other, if not on top of each other. He never leaves her side nor does she his. They are tethered to one another. The longest they’re apart is when Harry gets them refills of Champagne and Y/N journeys to the restroom. They laugh and catch up.

As the night goes on, Harry begins to whisper sweet nothings in her ear and she giggles and places her hand on his chest flirtily. Their interaction is a dance, bedroom eyes and low voices, lingering touches and suggestive lip bites.

When the countdown begins to grow closer, everyone refills their drinks and gathers in the center of Harry’s living room. They cheer and countdown to 2020. And of course, Y/N’s by Harry’s side as he begins the count. And when they get to ‘one’ and everyone’s saying “Happy New Year”, Harry and her are sharing a chaste peck to the lips that electrifies everything they had been saying to each other all night. She sighs into his mouth, but pulls away quickly, aware of their surroundings. No one particularly questions the kiss, either not paying attention or caring. Harry beams down at her and they enjoy the rest of the evening.

At around 1 am, the last of the guests stumble out of Harry’s homes and into waiting ubers and safe rides. Y/N lingers back, beginning to clean the discarded glassware and paper plates. Her and Harry are definitely tipsy, but they enjoy the cleaning work, making terrible jokes about New Year’s and commenting on what people wore tonight. When it’s relatively cleaned in the kitchen, Y/N wanders out to the living room and finds Harry reclined back on the couch.

“H,” She sticks out her foot and nudges him with her boot.

“C’mere,” he reaches out his hand to her, his coat discarded, leaving his arms bare with only a white tank top on.

She takes his hand hesitantly and is yanked on top of Harry in an instant. With a loud huff, she settles above him. “That wasn’t nice.”

“Shush,” his pointer finger goes over her lips, her eyes narrow at him, “Can you believe we’re seeing 2020?”

“Oh my god! I hate you!” She rolls her eyes at his pun and shakes herself from his hand around her waist. She stands up to walk away but he easily grasps her wrist and stops her, easily sitting himself up on the couch.

He looks at her and her annoyance, that wasn’t all too strong in the first place, dissipates. She sighs, “I should probably be heading home.”

“You should stay, it’s so late,” his hand rubbing over the skin on her wrist.

She bites her lip, contemplating the offer, he was right. “I’m really tired and we haven’t really talked, H.”

“But we-”

“Not about us. We’ve been skirting around it, flirting with each other all night, but we haven’t talked about what’s going on. I can’t stay if you expect something from me.”

“I don’t expect anything from you, Y/N. That’s not why I want you to say,” Harry says earnestly, realizing quickly  what she’s saying. “I’ve never expected anything from you. An offer to stay is just an offer to stay.”

“Okay,” she finally smiles and sits down beside Harry.

“You can sleep in the guest bedroom, too. If that makes you more comfortable?”

“Oh...I don’t know if we have to take it that far. Plus, you’re like a personal heater and I get cold at night.”

Harry perks up, he had been feeling resigned that maybe she wasn't on the same page as him. He wanted to be with her all the time but also didn’t want to put any pressure on her. She just made him so happy.

“Great! Let’s get to bed then.” He pops up from the couch and brings her into his arms, “You know where all my clothes are, so you can just borrow whatever you want, and then I’m sure I have extra toothbrushes…”

She giggles into his side as she watches him ramble animatedly. Sometimes he was oh so bright, so joyful and carefree. A stark contrast from the quiet confidence he often exhibited for the public.

-

She woke up in the warm embrace of Harry. His whole bed smelled like him, vanilla mixed with spices of tobacco and sandalwood. It was delicious and she snuggled in deeper to the soft chest she laid against, breathing in his scent deeply.

They rested there for a long time. Harry makes his awakening known with a lingering kiss to her forehead. They both sigh in contentment, radiant in each other’s arms.

“What’s the plan today?” She ponders as Harry’s fingers trace patterns over her skin. He hums in thought.

“Wanna be with you…”

She laughs and looks up at him, “Me too, but we can’t lay around all day.”

“Well, we could.” Harry insists.

She laughs again and twists in his arms, settling so she’s facing him. She bites her lip as she thinks about something, scanning his face over and over.

“I’m gonna go home and get ready for the day. Let’s just explore the city and do some 2020 shopping. Who knows, maybe fashion’s changed since the last decade,” she grins.

Harry chuckles a little and pets at her hair, “I like the sound of that. And we can talk - about us.”

“Mmhmm.”

He tilts his head forward and meets her lips once again, savoring her taste. Each kiss makes him want more. She was good.

-

Harry lugs in the four heavy shopping bags into her flat, as she carries the single small bag from the chocolatier he had dragged them into. He presses her to the counter when he sets down the bags and begins to kiss her face all over. She giggles and places her hands on his shoulders, giving him a kiss to the lips before pulling away.

They had talked about what they wanted, what they saw in each other and how that fit into their work relationship and the rest of their lives. Harry would have to talk to Jeff, but more so as a by the way this is what I’m doing with my life, not an ask for permission. Y/N would continue as his stylist until the end of the tour cycle, but afterwards she’d go back to freelancing. They wanted to try to date and be as normal as possible. She told him how she didn’t love the fame or the celebrities. Sure she dealt with those things for work, but when they were off duty, she wanted to be regular. She wanted to go out on dates and make dinner on weekend nights. Harry had agreed, he wanted those things too and he understood her wish to keep work and their relationship separate. However, he’d made her concede to allowing kisses during work hours. She had laughed and said it was an easy term to agree to.

It was going to be a good thing. They were both giddy with excitement, the new year, and all the new things they had bought on their relationship high.

“Oh!” She pushed Harry further away from her and hurried into her room. He laughed and looked confusedly after her. “Wait there!” She called. Harry leaned against the back of her upholstered chair.

“Close your eyes!” She says before coming back into the room. Harry’s hands go over his eyes easily as he grins blindly in her direction.

“‘M waiting…”

“Open.”

Harry’s hands slip away and his green eyes blink open. In front of him stands Y/N holding up a hand knit brown sweater vest with horizontal red, cream and blue thin stripes along with the thicker brown stripes. Harry beams, reaching his hands out to take hold of it.

“It was supposed to be a surprise for later, but I found it at this vintage place while I was home and I couldn’t wait any longer to show it to you.”

“Darling, this is gorgeous. I love it! But you shouldn’t have...”

“I thought you could wear it for Lizzo’s concert. I know you said you liked the other sweater vest, but this one is so-”

“You spoil me, seriously.” He cuts her off and laughs before pulling her back into him. Their lips collide in a searing kiss, Harry’s excitement over the new garment making him eager to show her how much he really loved it.

A small sigh escapes her lips as Harry presses into her. His tongue pushing into her mouth in a way that turns the sigh into a moan.

“Let me show you just how much I love it,” He murmurs against her lips, casting the garment onto the back of the chair he had previously been leaning on.

She smiles, eyes fluttering open and meeting his with adoration swelling in their depths. Then she allows him to back their intertwined bodies into her room.

-

Some apartment in New York a few months later:

“I knew it!” 

“Huh?” Aidy lifts her head from the skit she was working on to look at her friend and coworker. 

“That stylist...for Harry Styles,” Heidi shifts, sitting up and turning her phone to face Aidy, “She was seen out with him, getting lunch in London and then making out on a street corner. I bet they were dating back in November when he was on the show!” 

Aidy laughs, thinking back to her conversation with the stylist that night of Harry’s show. The girl had been so in love that night and Harry had been smitten all week, describing her in the best way, praising her every decision, yearning for her even. And now they were actually together...she was happy for them. 

“I don’t know about that...but they were head over Gucci heels for each other that’s for sure.” 

Heidi and her scroll through the pictures on social media of the singer and his girlfriend. 

“They probably are the best dressed couple I have ever seen,” Heidi grumbles. 

“Now that is definitely accurate.”

--

taglist: @meredithhuntt​ @sovereigndeadlyperfect @marauderswhisperer​ @toribentleyva​ @girlboss99​ @harryssunflxwer​ @loverofaccents​ @stephaniemalvie​ @mk15x @beanholland​ @stfxlou​ @loliismutt​ @pinkisawesome101​ @stilljosiegrossie​ @kikisparadise18​ @clementimee​

[ihearthes]

Quarantine Christmas Part 1

Author: @ihearthes Pairing: Harry x y/n Rating: Fluff/Smut (Smut in Part 2) Word Count: 2826 (Part 1) Fiction Chalenge via @caitlin‘s fiction party via @sweetcreatureinthedark

December 23, 2020

My head spins as I haul my suitcase from the trunk, using two hands due to the heft of the dirty clothes inside. Setting it on the ground, I yank on the handle before grappling with the two shopping bags filled with presents, reaching back for the decorated Christmas tin that is filled with homemade cookies, fudge, and other delicacies baked by my colleagues at Apple Music. 

Wrestling with my hands full, I close the trunk with an elbow, shivering in the chilly LA air. At the front door, I want to cry. Dammit. I could clearly remember that when Glenne had given me the code for the front door and the alarm, I placed them in my phone under her contact information. 

“FUCK!” The primal scream is released from my lungs, likely scaring the neighbors if any of them are outside enjoying Christmas lights or having family celebrations on this Christmas Eve Eve. Balancing the tin of cookies on top of the suitcase, I set down the shopping bags to reach for my phone. My purse slips off my shoulder, knocking the container of sweets, and in the scramble to rescue them, I nearly fall head over heels into the bushes. 

It isn’t until I punch in the numbers and drag my personal effects inside that it occurs to me that the alarm isn’t armed. Had Glenne and Jeffrey forgotten to punch in the code before they left for Palm Springs? Deciding I don’t care, I leave everything by the door as I drag my suitcase to the main floor laundry room, dumping everything in without regard to color or type of clothing. Since we’ve been working remotely the majority of the time for the last fucking nine months, “dressing up” encompasses blue jeans and the occasional blouse, but most of my clothing is sweatpants and t-shirts. Deciding washing the blue jeans and blouses with the sweatpants and t-shirts is the worst idea ever, I fish those out before pouring laundry detergent over the remaining garments and starting the washer. 

Glancing down at the clothing currently on my body, it seems completely reasonable to drop them into the washer too. Stripping the t-shirt from my body, I toss it into the swirling water before adding my bra, socks, and leggings to the murky mix. Wearing only panties in the cool house makes my nipples bead. 

Ha! I’m sure my nips are happy to get any action after almost a year with no dating of any sort because of the fucking pandemic. Which reminds me that I’ve forgotten my vibrator at home. Shit. Of all the things I don’t mind borrowing from Glenne, I do have a line I won’t cross. 

Placing the tin of Christmas yummies on the kitchen counter, I grasp the handles of the two bags of gifts. It might be silly to put them under the tree since I’m the only one in the house, but it will make me feel better. More like I’m at home with my family in Indiana. Less like I’m stuck in quarantine in an empty house for my favorite holiday. Sniffling, I swipe at my nose with the back of my hand as I pad down the two steps into the living room to the tree. 

Kneeling at the fake tree, I reach for the switch to turn on the lights. As the colors begin blinking, I carefully withdraw each present, reading the tag before gently placing the gift under the tree. Even my brother had sent a present through the mail which must mean he misses me his year. Right now, we should be challenging each other to the most ridiculous games to see who is the best. Inevitably, he would win some while I beat him at others until eventually we declare a tie. My mother would chastise us both with a grin on her face, implicitly encouraging us to continue our “reindeer games” as my father called them. 

From behind me, I hear a shuffling sound. Hadn’t they taken Myles with them? No matter. I could use the company a dog would provide. 

“Santa, you’ve changed!” a soft voice exclaims, and I jump, twisting around to find another human wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. 

“It’s you!” Both voices exclaim simultaneously. “What the fuck are you doing here?” We both pause, “Stop saying what I’m saying!” 

Out of breath, I stare at him. The Harry Styles. Fuck. 

His eyes roam over my body, and it finally dawns on me that I’m wearing nothing but my Victoria’s Secret lace panties. Shit. 

Pacing measuredly to the couch without openly cringing, I grasp a wool throw and wrap it around my chest regally like I’ve just exited the pool at some exotic locale near the equator. My shoulders straighten, and I face him openly. 

“Are you joining Glenne and Jeffrey in Palm Springs?” My back is a board, and my tone is barely restrained. 

“Nope.” His nonchalance combined with his truncated answer pisses me off, per usual.

“So you’re flying home, waiting here for your flight tonight?” The hopeful tone is obvious to me and probably to him as well.

“No.” Those green eyes of his rake over my nearly-naked body, and I shiver. From the cold of course. Jesus. Get your heads out of the gutter!

“Watering the plants prior to returning to the Soho?”

“Uh uh.”

Delayed dread begins to fill my stomach. “You mean --” I clear my throat -- “you’re staying here?”

“Yep.”

“Shit.” Running my hand through my hair, I ponder the impact and my next steps. 

“You?” He asks politely, even though I know he doesn’t feel solicitude at this moment.

“Glenne told me I could stay here for a few days. I made arrangements for my place to be fumigated while I was in Indiana for Christmas.”

His raised eyebrow mocks me. 

“I’m not going, though. Okay?” 

“Why not?”

“Seriously? Where the fuck have you been, Styles? In case you didn’t know, there’s a global fucking pandemic, and all of Los Angeles is locked down. So no -- I am not getting on a plane with a bunch of potentially infected and contagious --” Emotion overwhelms me, and I have to stop and catch my breath. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I turn away from him so he can’t see the tears that form in my eyes. 

“Whatever, Smith.”

“My name --” I draw myself up and gather my anger around me like a cloak -- “is not Smith.”

“Yeah, right. Which bedroom are you planning to sleep in?”

“Surely you’re not suggesting we both stay here?” Appalled, I stare at him with my mouth open. “I’ll get a hotel room.” When I realize my wardrobe is in the washing machine, I softly say, “As soon as my clothes are dry.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t be ridiculous, Smith. We’ll share the space. It’s only a couple of days.”

“Excuse me!?” Anger wells up. “Only the most important days in the entire year!” Superiority makes me stand up fully to him. “Besides, I’ve been quarantining for months. No way do I want to share germs with you!”

“Oh please! As if you’ve got a monopoly on quarantining! I’m perfectly safe. We get tested every morning before we film. When was the last time you were tested?” 

“Two days ago!” She’s at her boiling point. “Look, if we're both staying here together, then we’re just going to have to avoid each other. It’s a big house. We can do that.”

“Maybe once you put some clothes on,” Harry comments, smirking in that way he has where the left side of his mouth tilts up. 

Mortified, I glance down at myself. Briefly I consider scurrying for Glenne’s closet, but I pause. Why should I rush away? Because he’s male? Because he was here first? Because he’s sexy as fuck and my panties can’t take anymore? 

“Fine,” I respond as I brush past him like the Queen of England. “I’ll find something to wear, and then we can hash out the details.”

“Great plan. I’m ordering something for dinner.”

My stomach growls, and I suddenly feel an irrational hatred for that part of my body. How I long to state that I’ve already eaten or that I plan to cook something! But alas, I’ve brought no food with me, and I’ve no clue what’s in the kitchen. If Glenne and Jeffrey even left anything. 

“Does that mean you’d like some too?” He gloats, and as much as I would like to smack the grin off his face, I’ve not eaten since a quick bite for breakfast hours before. 

Knowing I’m going to have to grovel, I face him. “I’m capable of ordering for myself.”

“Yes, but that’s not necessarily good for the environment, is it? Sending two drivers to the same address from different restaurants?” Pausing, he appears to swallow whatever snarky comment was forthcoming. “Can we agree on this one small thing? I’m thinking poke.”

Shit. Fuck. Goddammit. That’s exactly what I would have ordered. Fuck. 

Casually, I shrug. “Yeah, whatever. I can choke down some poke.” As I saunter away, tucking the ends of the makeshift shroud under my armpits, I call back to him, “Spicy please.”

Quickly I make my way to Glenne’s closet, surveying the items there. Ripping down a pair of joggers and a Full Stop Management hoodie, I drop the covering I’ve been wearing and rapidly draw the clothes over my naked body. Nothing I can do about not having a bra, but the hoodie is roomy so I worry less. 

In the bathroom, I run my fingers through my hair, combing out the curls as best I can in this environment. In no way do I want it to appear that I’m trying to look amazing for Harry. Biting my lip, I admit to myself that the opposite is true. I absolutely want him to fall at my feet. 

Which isn’t going to happen, I remind myself. Give up the ghost of a fantasy. 

Making eye contact in the mirror, I provide a pep talk for myself. “Listen,” I remind my reflection, “this is just one more fucked up situation in 2020. You’ve gotten through worse. It’s truly a giant house, so there’s no reason -- wait. Why is he staying here anyway?” For whatever reason, I had allowed him to dodge that incredibly simple question. 

Tucking my hands into the hoodie’s front pocket, I amble to the kitchen where Harry is just disconnecting his phone. 

“Food will be here in 45 minutes,” he promises. 

“Why are you staying here again? I missed your answer earlier,” I prompt. 

I’m confident I see a flash of embarrassment crossing his face as he lowers his head. “Wine?” He asks, gesturing towards the extensive rack of reds and then the chiller of whites. 

Unsure as to whether I should allow the diversion or press, I examine him. His eyes look tired and sad. His clothes, while comfortable, aren’t upbeat. Nor is his current demeanor. Is he okay? 

Planting his hands in his hoodie in an unconscious mimic of my pose, he glances at me before his eyes stray to the side, examining the marble countertop. That look tells me more than I need to know, and my empath side emerges as I toss him a life preserver. 

“With poke? I think perhaps a Reisling.” 

He nods, bending to look through the wines in the cooler before he extracts one, holding it up for me to inspect the label. My eyes start to widen at the vineyard, assuming the extravagant cost, but I calm my features. “Perf!” I declare. 

Grasping the wine opener from a nearby drawer, Harry removes the cork as I snatch two wine glasses from the cabinet and place them near him. Carefully comparing the amount in each glass, he pours enough before recorking the bottle. Taking my glass, I move into the living room where I can view the tree. It’s Christmas Eve Eve after all, and I refuse to be deterred from watching the lights twinkle and celebrating the season. 

Harry apparently has a similar idea as he fiddles with the sound system before a crackle of ‘Jingle Bell Drunk’ by RaeLynn starts playing which causes me to giggle. 

I settle on one side of the sofa, and Harry plants himself on the other side. Separately, we each take a sip of the riesling. My tongue does a happy dance at the flavor on my tongue. “This sweetness will cut the spicy quite well. Excellent choice.”

“You made the selection,” Harry reminds me, and I cringe. 

“Oh. Yeah.”

Silence descends as the song proclaims “I’ve been naughty. I’ve been nice.” 

“If there was ever a year for this song, this is it.” I announce into the quiet. 

“Yeah. It’s been quite the year.”

Sharply, I glance at him. Perhaps I had missed something? “Excuse me? You’ve had one hell of a year, Styles. Grammy nominations aside, there were how many music videos released during this global disaster? Plus a movie!”

“Agreed.” He’s quiet, his jaw clenched, and suddenly his words burst forth as though a gate at a dam has been opened. “But no tour. And almost no family time.”

Wait. Was this superstar feeling some of my emotions? He’d had a stellar year in anyone’s estimation. Maybe I could be more sympathetic. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry about tour. I had tickets to Vegas and one of the LA shows.”

His head swivels to me more swiftly than an owl focusing on prey. “You had tickets?”

“HAVE.” I swallow. “Thanks for not canceling by the way. I cannot imagine the bloodbath for getting tickets in the future. You’ve become the ‘it celebrity’.”

A blush is followed by a sheepish smile. “You can always get tickets, Smith. Just ask.”

“I don’t do that.” My voice is filled with the prickles that I feel at his words. 

“Do what?” 

“Use my privilege to get tickets to shows.”

“Oh. I…” His words trailed off. 

Suddenly, I feel less uncomfortable around him. Reaching out, I shove at his shoulder. “You’re a giant star, and you have a ton of fans who want to see you. Me? I’m just happy to be a member of the audience.”

“Really?” Incredulous is what I sense in that one word. “Why?”

“Seriously?” I’m appalled. “Do you not know what an amazing entertainer you are, Styles? Fuck. If I hadn’t been able to see your Fine Line show at the Forum last December, I probably would have cried. You know exactly what your audience wants, and you deliver it. Consistently.”

“But --”

“Hush. Don’t you dare negate your talent!” Taking another sip of wine, I reveal unabashedly, “Maybe it’s the wine talking, but I really enjoy your shows.”

“Smith?” He inquires, and my hand stalls with my wine glass halfway to my mouth.

“Yeah?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you like my shows?”

Stalling, I run a finger through my hair and empty my wine glass before holding it out to him. “More please?”

He rises, but I can read his reluctance. Within moments, Harry is back at my side, handing me a second glass of the riesling. I can’t help but notice that he’s topped his own off too. 

“Answer the question, Smith.”

“My name isn’t Smith. In fact, there’s not a single part of my name that’s related to Smith. Why do you call me that?”

“Tell me why you like my shows, and I’ll reveal the meaning behind the nickname.”

My head feels fuzzy from the wine and the headiness of being near Harry, and I watch the lights flashing on the tree for a few minutes while Meghan Patrick belts out her version of ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ over the sound system. 

“You make your fans feel like they matter.”

“How?” His question comes rapidly, and I have to gather my thoughts. 

“You...talk to them. Listen to them. Watch them. Appreciate them. It’s rare, Harry. I mean, I’m in this business too, you know. Not every artist does what you do.”

“False.”

“I’m fucking serious, you asshole.” I gulp down more of the wine. “You make your audience feel like they’re your closest friends. I wish more artists did that. Specifically the ones I represent.”

“Oh.” His single utterance is enough, and we sit in pure tranquility for several minutes as the lights blink and Ava Max sings “Christmas Without You”. 

“Wanna watch the quintessential holiday movie?” I inquire, looking at him. 

“Which is?”

“Die Hard, of course,” is my response. “What were you thinking?”

“It’s a Wonderful Life.”

“Nope. It’s pretty good. In the top five for sure.”

“Wait. What are your top five?”

“Oh, that’s easy. ‘Die Hard’, ‘Home Alone’, ‘A Christmas Story’, ‘The Santa Clause’, and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’.

“You’re serious?”

“Deadly?” I giggle at the joke since ‘Die Hard’ is full of death. 

“Fine. But we watch ‘Wonderful Life’ afterwards.”

“Deal.”

Part 2

[rainbowkittyblossomwings]

So I don’t want to get into a huge retrospective of how 2020 was for me, because it’s personal and I think we can all agree things have been bad. So instead I’d like to talk about great video games I got into in 2020!!! These games didn’t necessarily come out in 2020 just things I discovered and I’d like to talk about my top 10 faves

1.       The first best video game I discovered in 2020 is the entire Trails Series (I played all of them in 2020, cold steel, ao, zero, and Sky). Initially I played Cold Steel 1 because my friend told me it was like “Playing Code Geass the anime”. The story was pretty easy to get into of a guy going to military school and you’re placed in the special class for commoners and nobles when there’s a huge class divide in your country. From there it had some basic anime tropes like a dating simulator like thing and various cliched characters, like the tsundere, the guy who’s trying to get everybody to work, the music kid, and the noble, you know?

But Cold Steel wasn’t cliché in the least bit. I played it after surgery recovery so I was in a lot of pain and out of my mind, but each character had depth, the entire world was fleshed out and after each game more of the story and the villains were revealed, secret robot technologies were given to the main characters and they slowly became more and more powerful after that.

I wanted to know more and more about the world so I played the first series trails in the sky and the Japanese only series, Zero and Ao, and they were even better. Not only that but in this JRPG there were canon gay characters that had traits to their character besides “I’m gay.” There were a lot of lesbians for me to pick and choose between as faves.

Not only that but I find none dating sim video games difficult cuz I get easily frustrated and rage quit. Cold Steel was turn based combat and never made me feel like rage quitting because they had a function called “Retry but easier” where if you died you could start the same battle but make it easier. That made it so I only had to die five or so times on things I was really stuck on and then I could move on with the story. And the game never felt like a grind fest and I could make the game faster in combat.

This series I may have discovered in 2020 but it’s become just as beloved to me as any other series. It’s one of my faves.

2.       My second favorite game in 2020 was 13 sentinels : Aegis Rim. I love time travel so much and everytime a new time travel anime or game comes out I get super excited. Aegis Rim was a game that had all sorts of cool tropes, like time travel, memory loss, androids, different realities, and psychic dreams and it just sounded cool. Not only that but there were 13 different protagonists to play and I had seen it reviewed in LGBT+ articles, saying it had a canon gay character and a canon nonbinary character! It was a very fun game and part of the story followed a point and click formula and the other half followed a kinda strategy blowing up giant robot monsters formula, and I enjoyed it. Also the music and the art was amazing.

3.       The House in Fata Morgana was my third favorite game I discovered in 2020!!! It was a visual novel I had gotten in 2019 but never started because “They didn’t have anime eyes so IDK if it’ll be interesting.” I had seen a lot of horror visual novel people review it though with stellar reviews. I ended up playing it when I was sick and man was it an amazing story. It gave me a lot of respect for people who write short stories that wrap up nicely, and a lot  of the characters were flawed but I really enjoyed reading their stories.  The story was pretty basic in the beginning of a maid telling you several different stories of the previous owners of the mansion she worked in, and the tragedies that befell them throughout her time there, and I really liked the sort of tragedy feel. One of the stories reminded me of Greek tragedies like Oedipus, and as the story got deeper and deeper and connected plot threads of the previous owners it became very cool. Also the game was very LGBT+ friendly with trans and bi characters and possibly an aro character too???

4.       Hades was my fourth favorite game in 2020!!! A lot of people have already talked about Hades before and what it’s about but I’d like to talk about why I liked it. As mentioned before I have a problem with video games that rely on skill. I get so frustrated that I either start yelling or crying because I don’t believe that the muscle memory will ever get into me or that I’ll ever be good enough to get past the hard part. It’s incredibly distressing and it makes me feel bad because I’m like “why can’t I do a simple thing other people can easily do?” Hades is one of the few games that taught me that eventually I will succeed, and the muscle memory will come to me. As you probably know Hades has god mode which increases your damage resistance every time you loose. I got to the max god mode very quickly of 80% and for about 10 runs even that wasn’t enough to beat the first boss and I was incredibly frustrated. I was like “they should have raised it to 90% cuz if even their worst players couldn’t beat the boss on easy mode then they’re missing out.” But as people have probably told you, Hades rewards failure. Each run you learn a bit more and get better skills and friendships with people due to grinding. And eventually I stuck to it and beat the first boss, and then all the other bosses. The muscle memory finally hit and I beat Hades and got the true ending and I’m really glad the developers made it accessible enough that even the worst players could beat it and I’m glad they rewarded failure.

5.       My next favorite is Chaos;Child, which wasn’t made in 2020, but I did discover it in 2020. It’s another horror visual novel but by the people who did Steins;Gate. I absolutely adore Steins;Gate because of the time travel so I was curious about the other games in the series. Everyone said Chaos;Child was the murder mystery of what Steins;Gate did to time travel and they were right. It was a psychic murder mystery story and although it was very gorey it was very fun and I really liked the characters

6.       Sixth favorite was Café Enchante a new otome dating sim released in 2020! You run a coffeshop for monsters basically and I adored it!!! I was a little worried before I got it that it would be boring because what kind of plot can you make in a coffeeshop? But it was very cute and I loved the monsters and the lore. Despite my misunderstanding the entire game did not take place in the coffeeshop and instead went into various monster worlds and expanded on the lore of each world in each route. The art was wonderful and I just love fake monster lore about Fae and beasts and angels and stuff and it was just a wonderful game and is one of my new fave otome titles.

7.       I played Ai: the somnium files in 2020! I knew it would be a favorite of the year because it was made by the same people who did the zero escape series. It had a very different tone of the zero escape series of course, instead of being about psychics it’s about the inner workings of the mind. You play a detective going into people’s psyche’s to try to catch a murderer basically. It reminded me a lot of ID;invaded an anime that I think came out this year? Anyway it was a cool story and I liked the graphics but I did not like the timed missions. Without a guide I would have died.

8.       The dark horse of 2020 was Untitled Goose Game. I did not expect to get it but my friend gifted to me and I hadn’t played it yet. And as everyone can tell you it’s just a fun time harassing people as a goose. It has 2 player mode so my sister and I played it together and it was great. I liked feeling like grand theft robbers and saying “BOOK IT” as we stole people’s stuff.

9.       My ninth favorite game I played in 2020 was Little Busters! It’s by the same people who did Clannad so I knew I would be crying by the end. Clannad’s team is known for their great story telling and heart wrenching characters. It’s about a team of friends who start a baseball team and then it gets sad and time loop-y from there. I played Clannad too in 2020 but it was a little too homophobic for me to let it make it to this list and I don’t remember any homophobia in little busters, so little busters gets its spot.

10.   Finally we get to Persona 5 Royal. I didn’t play much of the original persona 5 besides at my friends apartment so I was able to finally have a copy of this game on my own!!! I loved the idea of going into mean people’s minds and changing their hearts so they could understand the wrong that they did, it was just a good concept. I also loved that Persona 5 royal added a safety mode so you can loose and yet not die. It was a great game of 2020 and it only makes it so low because I spent way too many hours on it (135) and it was a great amazing game that I loved and enjoy talking about but would not replay because it’s just so long and I’m not quite sure what would be different on  replay. Also I’m sad that you can’t date the boys because I love them. They are good beans. Either way though I’d recommend it if you haven’t played before and it was very fun, and still one of the best games of 2020.

If you want me to talk about any of these games in more depth instead of just a short review tell me!!!

[jakeperalta]

Thanks for talking to me and understanding and everything nice you said. I think Folklore is a great first step to this kind of songwriting. I dont know if that's something she wants right now or for the next album. A lot of people say they want a Folklore part 2 but she never does the same thing twice. In the future, I think she could write an amazing musical..either with an album of hers that's a full story eventually or an awesome jukebox musical. She worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber so I can dream lol. Do you think a full album with a somewhat connected story would be successful tho? Also What do you think about some people saying that something is off with Taylor? They were saying this cuz she didnt say anything about Biden winning the election. I personally dont agree with that or dont think anything but there were a lot of posts saying they are worried about her. I think maybe cuz she knew this magazine interview was coming and she wanted a total surprise. Also was the Capital One commercial supposed to be a clue to that or? Why did it show Easter eggs of Folklore?

Omg sorry I'll space this out now. What did you think of the interview? I know it happened a month ago but to me she seemed fine and pretty happy but I guess we dont know. She said she read Rebecca..I only watched the movie but now wondering if the book is worth it but I'm not a big fan of older books. Didnt you mention reading it too? Anyway I loved how it seemed mostly like a normal conversation lol cuz she kinda shared a lot, and it's so crazy that she will be as legendary as Paul McCartney one day so who knows where her career will go. One thing she said in the interview confused me though. She mentioned how she only wrote the topline of Folklore and idk what that means. I asked my sister who knows about music and she didnt know either..cuz she also said she didnt write any of the music and I always found that weird. Is that just because of quarantine..doesnt she usually write instrumentals or at least how the song sounds? Omg I just thought of a cool song idea that Taylor could do. Like a princess trapped in a castle..kinda has the theme of isolation in quarantine. It could be a part 2 or more grown up version of Love Story about how she had to break out or be free, kinda like Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore and if it was anything like that sonically I'd die. Maybe she is past songs like that about fairytales or even proving people wrong but I think it's a fun idea. Sorry this is long again..I sometimes wonder if other people read what I write and think I'm crazy lol. I hope you dont mind me talking about Taylor so much cuz you're not a full Taylor blog.

ok i’m just gonna put my answer under a read more because it got very long for people to scroll past lol

yeah i think a musical written by her would be amazing! andrew lloyd webber actually said himself that she could write a great musical so we can hope! i think that kind of album would be maybe less commercially successful (especially in the era of streaming and people listening to individual songs more than albums as a whole) but she’s definitely at the stage in her career where she can go a bit more out there creatively without necessarily worrying about sucess.

honestly i’m not worried about taylor either, she’s said herself she’s enjoying having a more private life and it’s healthy sometimes to take some time being less active on social media. she’s still popping up with various little videos for different awards/events so it’s not like she’s gone into full hiding. i have no idea what the capitol one easter eggs are hinting at but knowing taylor i’m sure it’s something!

i really liked the interview, it was nice to get a bit more insight into the process that led to folklore and just like where she’s at now! i read rebecca in the summer and loved it so i recommend, i think as far as classics go it’s pretty easily readable and doesn’t feel really outdated (and i love that taylor also read it in lockdown!). writing the topline means she wrote the lyrics whereas aaron dessner wrote the music, so he would send her an instrumental and she’d add the lyrics on top (i think with jack it’s usually a bit more collaborative in terms of lyrics/production but i’m not sure if that’s the same with folklore). i think she probably did it as a way to sort of experiment with a different type of genre and sort of try a different way of writing. i know that it was the same with cruel summer, where jack and st vincent wrote the track then taylor wrote the lyrics/melody on top. that sounds like such a good concept! i think it would be cool for her to revisit the fairytale type vibes from some of her earlier songs from like a more grown up perspective.

[auggie-hunter]

the questionnaire~

who rocks the ferris wheel seat, and who flips out and begs them to stop?

neither. too busy making out.

who is always horny and will have any place, any time?

auggie. he’s always game for a quickie at any given moment. any. given. moment.

“wait, here?” teddy gasps and giggles against his lips as he kisses her.

“mhm,” he nods.

and so what if they’re the ones having slutty coat room sex at someone else’s wedding. so what.

who is more into taking showers/baths together? who tries to make it relaxing and who gets handsy?

they both are. something about showers and baths together really ticks the intimacy box for them. but believe it or not, teddy is the one to get handsy in the shower/bath.

“so i was thinking,” she starts, shifting her weight in the tub. she swivels around, careful not to slosh too much water around as she straddles his lap

his hands easily find her hips as she eases closer. “so you were thinking...” he echos with a nod.

her left hand rests at the base of his neck, while her right glides down and into the water between them. “i have nowhere to be for the next hour, so maybe,” she takes him in her hand. “we could make it worth our while.”

who likes to walk around the house naked, and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

neither, really. they usually keep whatever space they’re in comfortably chilly so as to be wrapped up in sweatshirts and cardigans. sweatpants and socks and heavy blankets. cozy.

however, they are huge fans of being naked together. huge. top two on the list, probably.

who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

auggie. 

(but teddy will be nudging him to scoot over not 30 minutes later and crawling onto the couch and under the throw blanket beside him. “what you said really hurt.”

and auggie will just wrap her up in his arms and kiss her head. “i’m sorry. it was uncalled for. i didn’t mean it.” and he’ll kiss her head three more times and tell her how much he adores her and they both sleep on the couch because the idea of sleeping apart sucks to even think about. call them codependent)

who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

teddy tends to take photos of auggie because auggie rarely sleeps. let me clarify. auggie’s a very excitable human, and will stay up and about for most things. because of this, he is always tired and falling asleep at inopportune times, and (teddy’s favorite) adorable ones.

(like the time he fell asleep while trying to stay up for a 24-hour stream and she had to inconspicuously wake him without getting caught on camera.

she did take proper photo evidence and post it on his instagram before he woke up. puppy filter and all)

who said “i love you” first?

teddy. it outright took his breath away. 

who ends their arguments in a fight with “because i love you”?

teddy.

auggie has a lot of anxiety. he’s been working on it, but he’s also made his peace with the fact that a portion of it will remain unresolved, and will be something he just feels and deals with. kinda like white noise. it’s a dead parents thing. whatever.

the point is, it happens less and less when it comes to teddy the longer they’re together, but he goes through deep pockets where he needs reassurance.

because he thinks, no knows teddy graham is the very sun in the sky that the planets revolve around, that she hung the moon and all the stars, and there’s absolutely no possible way on this earth he could ever be good enough for her. that he or something would inevitably fuck this up.

she’s gotten pissed off at him about it only once their entire relationship. but they’d been going through a rough patch with schedules not lining up, and not enough hours in the day to make long distance work, so it’d been a pot of emotions on the verge of boiling over. she’d shouted at him to stop doubting her. that if she hadn’t left yet it’s because she wasn’t planning to. “because i love you!”

he’d felt awful that day. because that’s the last thing he wanted to make her feel. and he’d promised her he’d work on it.

but they don’t tend to argue. their conversations are softer, more compassionate.

“hey,” she grabs his hands “i’m not going anywhere.” pressing kisses to each of his knuckles, she glances up at him. “because i love you, okay?”

they do annoy each other though. quite a bit. sometimes for fun.

who likes to wear the other’s clothes?

teddy loves to wear auggie’s sweatshirts to run errands if it’s something she doesn’t have to get dressed up for. or around the house she’ll grab a shirt or button up. she once wore a flannel of his to record a music special.

they also wear her merch around the house. free clothes and whatnot.

who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

teddy for sure. auggie’s more about letting her sleep, but teddy always wakes him up to share. good dreams, bad ones, crazy ideas, good news, song ideas… her imagination is always going, going, going.

who is more likely to cheat?

on each other? truly? neither. they’d faster cheat on other people for each other. and that sounds cliché and almost fiction, but it isn’t that it’s that they both genuinely like and love each other. cheating doesn’t fit in that box.

who starts a food fight in the kitchen?

probably auggie. though teddy has been known to throw flour.

who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

teddy. auggie will be humming something to himself and she’ll jump in as off-key as possible.

“you’re the oates to my hall, baby,” teddy says, swinging him with her around the kitchen island. “the garfunkel to my simon.”

“oh, so you’re just gonna full on side-kick me now?”

“i’m down on a daydream!” she sings loudly, and okay, maybe the brunch mimosas had been a little more champagne than orange juice that morning. “but that sleepwalk should be over by now, i know!”

auggie throws his head back laughing and he can’t help but grab her face and just kiss her.

objectively, teddy is the better singer. but, and he will deny this, she thinks auggie sounds beautiful in the shower.

who starts the hand holding? who grabs the other's butt? who slides their arm around their waist? who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

the hand holding is somewhat mutual. it kind of happens naturally. they gravitate toward one another to begin with. some… fucking weird energy thing, his sister frannie would say. it was actually visible between them.

the butt touching is totally teddy, and it happens a few dates in when she accidentally has a bit too much wine at dinner. she grabs his ass on the way back to the car. “small but mighty.”

they laughed for a solid ten minutes.

of course, that then meant free reign for him to return the favor. respectfully. but also at will. and gosh was he grateful.

the arm around the waist is auggie, but he’s a very physical person. always pulling her closer, touching her back, anything to feel her right there with him.

who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

auggie, who is already kinda handsy and forward when it comes to sex with teddy, gets handsier when he’s been drinking and his voice is like 2 octaves deeper than usual.

but teddy’s a master at seducing him. like she’s read every book on how to turn him into a putty in her hands. he thinks she finds it fun. no, he knows she does. he knows every outfit she keeps for it. hmph.

she might be louder though. for sure.

who is more protective?

auggie is wildly protective of teddy. her heart, her world, her happiness. and takes it really personally when that’s threatened in any way. but teddy’s really protective of auggie’s feelings. in a healthy way. but she’s always there to catch him if he falls. she’d also go to war for him. in a heartbeat.

who talks to the other while they are sleeping?

not necessarily while they’re sleeping because if it ever starts, the other tends to wake up. but they do talk a lot. unless they’re wiped from exhaustion.

who drives and who has the window seat?

teddy insists on driving most of the time. she enjoys it, and implies he can’t drive. it’s a lie, of course. he’s the better driver.

(“are not.”

“baby.”

“you’re not, though.”)

who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?

auggie tends to be the one to fall asleep in her lap. he’s usually the one falling asleep first if his insomnia’s been acting up.

it’s the most rain new york has gotten all year, she observes from her place where she rests against the corner of the couch. the dreariest darkest afternoon they’ve seen in a while. the apartment is dim despite it being just after 2pm that sunday afternoon.

she’s kind of sleepy and could probably go for a nap. but she’d already thrown off her sleep schedule by letting auggie con her into smoking and staying up to watch all of doom patrol. while fun and great, it turned into distracting hands under throw blankets, which turned into 5am, thus making her want to sleep now but she’d just managed to fix what early quarantine had broken.

they’d need to set a new boundary on this friends with benefits thing.

time. sleep. rest.

but then again, who was she kidding? he could say jump and she’d ask how high and never stop. he didn’t know that though. they’d agreed on not going there for the sake of their friendship. that it was just sex. whenever, but still. just sex.

she glances down at him where he’s fast asleep arms wrapped around her midsection, head resting comfortably against her abdomen, lulled by the sound of the rain coming through the open window. and she’s looked at his face a hundred times, but like this, her heart flutters, and she can feel the way she just fully adores him like this.

she can’t help but smile to herself, and sighs. she needs to get over him. and fast. of course, all this weird intimacy they insist on maintaining just because they’ve spent all this time indoors together isn’t going to help that.

she threads her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at the back of his head. “hey, go to your bed,” she says softly. “you fell asleep.”

“mm.” he doesn’t budge and her smile widens. she lightly tugs at his ear. “ow.”

“bed.”

he grumbles without another word, and if she’s wistful as she watches him go to his room, she’ll deny it.

who cuts the other's hair?

that’s not a risk they’ve been willing to take just yet.

who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?

if auggie’s feeling particularly confident (usually after a few drinks), he can swing it. otherwise, he’s not great at it.

teddy’s usually the one sending encouraging messages though.

(“yeah, you don’t send me any cause you’re always sending them to darby and ravi.”

“that’s true. but i love you more than them.”

“that’s actually debatable.”)

who thinks they are not good enough for the other’s love? and who’s more afraid of losing the other?

read the anxiety question above.

who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen?

teddy definitely. but auggie will every once in a while. slide her around the kitchen at two in the morning by the light of the refrigerator.

who kissed first?

auggie kissed teddy first. bit the bullet before he lost his nerve. and then he just never stopped.

who orders take out at two in the morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

who writes love songs about the other? do they sing the songs they write for them?

if teddy could write every song in the world about him she absolutely would. but yes, she writes most of the love songs and most of them are about him or to do with him or about dreams they’ve planned together.

there’s a world in which he gives creative input, basically a song writing duo, but he takes no credit. “all the magic is yours anyway, i’m just a sounding board.”

of course, he gets wildly emotional about it, and the way she expresses herself when it comes to him, because again, for the millionth time, he can’t believe her.

who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?

not necessarily embarrassed, but auggie typically only wears his glasses at home, so until they live together, it’s rare she sees him in them. she does think he looks cute in them.

which is great because he’s blind as a bat.

who likes to nuzzle their head into their partner’s chest?

teddy. at her coziest. if she could live there, she would.

how many and what colours are the blankets they like to snuggle in?

four or five, at least two of which have been knit by teddy herself. the colors are usually on the softer side, neutrals, navy, dusty pinks. and a blanket crosby brought teddy from a trip to thailand years ago they’ve piled into the mix.

who runs up and hugs their partner and who stands arms wide open to catch their partner?

teddy runs. auggie catches her. every time.

eight months. it’d been eight months since he’d seen her outside of a screen. eight months since he’d held her, touched her, kissed her.

eight months without her. all for the sake of democracy or whatever bullshit.

auggie had been starting to doubt how much longer he could do this without her. and the truth of the matter is deep in his bones he knew he’d wait forever, even at freshly eighteen, he just knew he’d wait for this girl forever and a day.

he’s shifting his weight from the balls of his feet to his heels, hands tucked anxiously into his pocket as he waits at the guest area. her flight had landed and she’d sent him a text saying she hadn’t checked a bag and that she’d be out soon, which meant she’d be here soon.

whether it’s the nerves or the excitement, he isn’t sure, but he might throw up.

but he doesn’t have time to process it, because not a second later, a whirlwind of blonde hair, pink lips and a soft blue dress was running toward him.

and just as her carry-on bag smacks the ground, he catches her in his arms, pressing his lips to hers.

“i missed you so much,” she sniffles, lips finding his once more.

would they rather go on a romantic date or a laid back date? explain why.

any date uninterrupted is a dream date for them. and they could make any moment romantic.

he stumbles some, but somehow manages to regain his composure, even if it means he leans on her a little more than intended.

teddy’s arm around his torso squeezes some, knowing that steadying him means steadying both of them. “you’re so drunk,” she mutters, head tilting onto his shoulder.

auggie scoffs, but ends up laughing in the process, the arm he has around her shoulders squeezing her tight. “babe, it’s two in the morning and you’re wearing sunglasses; don’t—” he giggles. “—don’t call me out for being drunk.”

she grins and giggles herself, the cat-eye style of her sunglasses adding to her mirth. “i calls ‘em like i sees ‘em.”

“you ‘calls ‘em’ huh?”

“shh.” she’s on her toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and readjusts his sunglasses in the process.

joy dripped off them like warm light. her heels hung off the fingertips of his left hand and over his shoulder, having traded them for his sneakers. he offered, and would probably have to throw out his socks once their night was done, but he truly couldn’t care less. not when he had all of this around him.

“okay, listen.” she took a sip from the bottle of champagne she was holding before holding it out to him.

“i’m listening.” he lets her go to take a drink, the bubbles no longer tingly against his cheeks.

“you know we can’t stay here for 39 more days, right?”

he furrows his brow, unsure of what she means by that, though it’s taking quite a bit to connect most complex thoughts that aren’t about teddy graham at the moment.

“to get married. you have to live in paris for like 40 days in order to get married here.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

“wait, why not?”

“auggie. baby. focus.”

“sorry, let’s sit.” he laughs and holds out his elbow for her to take, leading her to an empty bench just up the way. plopping down on the end, he draws her down to his lap. teddy sits sideways and chooses to extend her legs onto the rest of the bench, crossing her feet at her ankles. his shoes look huge in the distance.

“we can’t stay here.” she pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “the world’s not looking good and i kinda don’t wanna get stuck here.”

auggie nods in agreement. “fair point. so what do we do? do we wait?”

she sighs and grabs the bottle from him, taking a sip before setting it down between her thigh and the back of the bench, next to her shoes. “i don’t wanna wait.” she kisses him. “we’ve waited so long for everything,” she groans, her frustration evident.

he gives her the tiniest of smiles and presses a kiss to her temple, lingering for a long beat. he gets it, of course he does.

“let’s wake daily up.”

his eyes widen as he wraps his arm around her. “no.”

“no?”

“no, she’ll be pissed,” he chuckles. “i already woke her up once to find you, i don’t think i’d survive a second night of interrupting her sleep.”

teddy laughs, full belly laughs, and he can’t help but join her. they might have to lay off the champagne soon, but they can worry about that later. “daily is ordained.” she curls into his chest. “she’s the only way we can leave paris married.”

he leans forward, resting his forehead on her shoulder. “starting my first official day as a member of your family by getting murdered. cool.”

she smiles, dropping a kiss atop his head, hints of his shampoo wafting into her nose. “is that a yes?”

“i gave you my shoes; a real no for you doesn’t exist in my vocabulary.” he gently kicks his socked feet to make a point.

“first of all, you offered and insisted, and second, you should be proud of yourself for saying vocabluary.”

“vocabluary?” he picks his head up, amusement coloring his features.

she’s kissing him then, both hands pressed against his cheeks. “come on, let’s go get married before you start feeling over-dramatic and change your mind on me.” she swings her legs over and stands, holding her hands out to him.

“never, ever, in my life.” he takes her hands and stands.

“oh, sure. like you didn’t just fly across the ocean cause you missed me even though you just saw me. the level of drama is staggering.”

“i didn’t.” he shakes his head and grabs her shoes and the near empty bottle of champagne. “i had business.” he takes a swig before handing her the last of it.

“in paris?” she giggles and sips the rest, tossing the empty bottle in a nearby trash can before he wraps his arm around her so they can start to walk.

“mhm. i had to pick up my wife.” she hip checks him and he grins. “all the more reason for you to know i’m not changing my mind.”

“i know. all your drama is reserved for how much you love me and how you have to make a big deal about that all the time. softy.” she presses a kiss to his hand resting over her shoulder. “doesn’t mean i can’t make fun of you for it.”

“i like a gesture.” he shrugs.

“yes, you do. it’s cute.”

teddy grins, wide and bright, and he squeezes her tight. “you’re cute.”

who still gets butterflies after years of dating?

they both do. there are a lot of reasons for which their relationship has had to take a backseat, so every moment they do get to spend together is cherished. and when it becomes permanent, it feels brand new every day.

who is the one who makes their partner laugh so much that their face hurts?

despite how cool they both come across, they’re both actually spectacularly dorky and goofy and ridiculous. so they’re always laughing about something dumb or silly or an inside joke they remember all the time, especially at very inopportune times.

(”we ran out of a funeral once.”

“aug, don’t remind me, i’m still ashamed.”

“well, it was either that or we had a laughing fit in there.”

“we’re monsters.”

“i feel like the dead parents club gives you morbid privileges by association.”)

who accidentally drinks too much caffeine and who has to deal with their partner bouncing off the walls?

auggie already has too much coffee to begin with, but when he has too much caffeine he’s a bouncy ball off concrete walls.

where is a special place they hold close to their hearts? why is it special?

paris. whenever they’ve allowed themselves to think of a place where they want to be together, to dream about where everything would be perfect, it’s paris.

walking along the seine, seeing the eiffel tower, watching the sunset on a rooftop, seeing the art at the louvre

(“being the art at the louvre.”

“auggie.”

“you are though.”)

she proposes before one of her paris shows.

they wake up her sister in the middle of the night to officiate their marriage before they’re back in the states.

there’s just something about paris that’s everything and more to them.

who has awful taste in music?

not awful, but auggie probably likes more questionable music.

“unironically listening to nickelback isn’t a bad thing, you’re all just haters.”

which one of them is the meme lover?

auggie loves a good meme. he loves making memes also. and making memes about teddy as a goof.

how did their second date go?

terrible. they’d wanted each other for so long they didn’t know what to do now that they had each other so they were so nervous they ruined it.

(”you didn’t ruin it.”

“i didn’t talk all night!”

“well, at least you didn’t spill wine all over your dress.”

“it wasn’t that bad!”

“i could never wear it anymore.”)

of course, the apology that followed and the makeup date more than made up for it.

how many children do they want/have?

depends on if they ever stop going at it like bunny rabbits. no, but three. honorable, beautiful mention to their son, lip.

who is the better dancer?

natural dancer? auggie. still a klutz though. teddy is a terrible dancer, but she’s become great at choreography. she also does not care.

do/did they have a theme wedding?

no. they eloped, actually. got married together in secret. they did have a party though after to celebrate with family. no theme though. 

what do their parents think of them dating?

teddy’s parents love auggie. they think he’s sweet, and kinda dorky. but he’s as dorky as their sweet girl and they love that about him. they’re especially delicate about being parents to him. not replacing or overstepping, but reminding him he’s their son now, too.

are they a super sappy couple?

severely. nauseating. but in a really endearing way. refreshing almost.

who asked the other to get married?

teddy proposed seconds before she went on stage.

who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?

auggie stays up too late, and teddy makes stupid jokes.

who is the nerd?

auggie

who knows the most obscure facts?

auggie.

who makes the other a flower crown?

teddy (and cardigans and blankets and mittens and hats and scarves)

who likes to read?

teddy. she reads constantly.

who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

auggie. very adorable. very annoying.

do they have similar taste in movies?

yeah, for the most part. they’re both into classic comedies. auggie does love a superhero/comic book movie though.

how do their personalities complement each other?

teddy is bright and loud and awkward and unapologetically herself. auggie is bright but more reserved unless in good company and definitely second guesses himself more. but they do a great job of catching each other wherever they need, if that makes sense. filling in the blanks, combining all the puzzle pieces, yin to yang.

how do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?

the minute they’re in the clear about things being safe. especially after lip. they do get creative with sharing their news, though. and it’s always cute.

who has better fashion sense?

teddy for sure. she can create an entire look from a color. auggie dresses well, but well for him.

who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

auggie. no question.

what songs do they sing together in the car?

depends on the mood. sometimes oldies, sometimes the radio will just play. sometimes loud with all the windows down.

who likes to prank the other?

auggie came from a house of pranks, so he loves pranking her. 

who is the one who loves to take pictures?

teddy likes a random selfie here and there, but auggie likes having his camera out during quiet moments to catch her unaware. not often, because their private moments are sacred. but every once in a while.

how would they react if they found out they were soul mates?

they wouldn’t be surprised. it’d be the missing piece of the puzzle.

where would they live?

depends. sometimes new york. sometimes suburbia. sometimes an estate up in maine. sometimes paris is the way to go. wherever the other one is, really.

what type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?

probably like drogon targaryen. protective, and only trusts them.

what would they dress up as, for halloween?

they have pretty creative costumes, usually comedic ones. wayne’s world. cosmo and wanda. dumb and dumber. juno and paulie bleeker when they were pregnant with rosie and briar cause they both got a kick of it (and cause she actually got to drink a gallon of sunny d… even if she puked it all later while he held her hair back)

there was one year they did nightwing and batgirl for allie’s superhero themed party and he absolutely dragged her out of there early because of the red wig.

can they name each other’s favourite food?

teddy would say auggie’s addiction to chinese takeout is borderline unhealthy.

“whoa, hey.”

“dude, it is.”

but probably italian after that summer he became obsessed with learning how to make homemade pasta and pasta sauce.

auggie would say desserts. sweet tooth galore for her.

do they have pet names for one another?

usually ‘ted’ and ‘aug’, but teddy has welcomed ‘baby’ into the mix. cause he’s her baby. he’ll let a ‘baby’ or ‘babe’ out here and there, but he usually just prefers ‘ted.’

teddy is also in the business of coming up with every pun on his name she can think of. snoop auggie aug and augustus gloop might still be her best work.

how do they cheer each other up?

distractions and affection. sometimes food. games. music.

do they show a lot of pda?

they don’t really makeout in public, but they are very physical. hand holding, hugs, back rubs. proximity is a security blanket for them.

how old were they when they got together?

depends on the universe, but anywhere between 15-22, usually with history.

can they do yoga couple’s poses?

no they’re a pair of klutzes. it’s ironic as hell.

what is their song?

such great heights - the postal service lover - teddy bea~

what does their room look like?

they usually have a big cozy bed, one allowing them room to stretch out and take up space, even though they end up in each other’s space nearly every single night.

their things are intertwined. her clothes with his. his toiletries near hers. there are pictures and art they both love, and the agreement that they wouldn’t have a tv in their room to enjoy each other and rest in there. 

relaxing colors. wood tones, soft greens. maybe a few plants. definitely a balcony with a view.

who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?

auggie currently kills zombies while teddy keeps him grounded.

who makes the other breakfast in bed?

auggie makes breakfast in bed unless he’s slept in.

who loves kids more?

they’re both a pair of big kids themselves. so it’s pretty even. they adore kids.

do either of them have a crazy ex?

possibly? hm.

what are their favourite colours?

auggie likes shades of blue and green. teddy likes golden colors and pinks. 

who likes to cook?

they both do. they like to cook together. though teddy is more of a baker, and auggie is more of the savory chef. cooking’s cathartic for both of them, and definitely something they love to do together.

who is the forgetful one?

probably auggie.

does either of them know how to fight?

make (lots of) love not war. they’re the softest of humans. soft, soft, soft.

what do they do for valentine's day?

depends. usually any excuse to spend time together is nice. valentine’s day can be any old day for them. flowers though. making a dessert to eat together. maybe a weekend getaway.

who swears more?

auggie’s a fucking potty mouth.

who has the better comebacks?

teddy. for sure.

who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?

her brother crosby and his sister fiona.

who reads buzzfeed?

auggie. fanboy king.

who is the hopeless romantic?

teddy, but they’re both wildly romantic, almost in equal measure.

do either of them know how to do a handstand?

believe it or not, both of them.

who can rap better?

teddy.

“ollie might’ve disowned me if i didn’t learn.”

do either of them want to go skydiving?

god no.

“i mean, i might wanna try. north said it was fun.”

“and your name is not north oeste. it’s auggie hunter, and you’re not jumping out of a frickin plane.”

what do they usually text about?

missing each other. food ideas. teddy’s legs. reminders. whatever crazy idea bixby’s got going on. whatever insane idea allie’s got going on. date plans. i love yous. and teddy’s legs.

who is the dramatic one?

auggie.

is either one confrontational?

not particularly. they talk too much for heavy confrontation so fights are rare. they’re willing to fight for each other though. 

what is their favourite cuddle position?

auggie’s love language is physical touch. he likes to touch and be touched, so when it comes to cuddling, if he’s tired or sad or depressed, he’s for sure the one to rest his head in teddy’s lap for her to rub his head or back. but he’s also definitely happy to be the big spoon and wrap her up in his arms so there’s no space between them.

“can i tell you a secret?”

“let me guess, you were already married,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to where her bangs meet the rest of her hair, both arms wrapping around her shoulders.

“pfft.” she snuggles up into his chest, closing her eyes as she tucks her fingers under his left suspender.

“okay, that’s definitely not a no.” his hand trails over the bare skin of her upper back, pinky lightly gliding over where the fabric of her dress begins.

“you married me two weeks ago, keep up.” auggie hums in agreement. “also, there’s really hot lingerie under my dress right now...”

“oh?”

“but this dress has at least nine hundred and three buttons, and i know we wanted a party, but weddings are really tiring.” her voice is quiet and a little bit whiny.

“and you wanna take a nap,” he finishes.

“as badly as i wanna get into your pants.”

he laughs again, this time squeezing her a little bit tighter than before. “i promise i won’t tell anybody we took a nap on our wedding night if you won’t.” he smiles to himself, closing his own eyes as he drops another kiss atop her head.

she swoons.

who listens to more vulgar music?

pretty even. they’re not picky about that.

do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

no. they know everything. everything.

who is their go to couple for a double date?

eli and thayer, josie and ollie with daily and naomi, darby and north, or allie and frannie, though he’s still yet to figure out how he can manage to be the only one with the girlfriend in the bunch and still be the odd one out when those two are involved.

do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?

absolutely.

how do they work out a fight?

sometimes they’ll need space just to let themselves cool off. saves them from saying something they don’t mean.

and then they talk. for hours.

who brings home an illegal pet?

neither of them. maybe teddy.

what side of the bed do each of them sleep on?

auggie on the right and teddy on the left. (or really, auggie closer to the window and teddy closer to the door)

what is their favorite photo of them two together?

it always changes but it’s a tie between them at disney and this random photo of them at an award show backstage.

she’d been wearing a pink cape over her shoulders, and sitting on top of the back of the couch in her green room after she got all her awards. and when he’d sat between her legs, she’d wrapped him up in it like a blanket and kissed his cheek. naomi caught it just in time.

who takes longer in the bathroom?

depends. usually teddy.

who has more songs on their ipod?

teddy.

what movie did they first see together?

stepbrothers.

what do they like to see each other in?

“nothing.”

“auggie.”

auggie prefers nothing, or really anything that shows off her legs. he really, really loves her legs. her ass too. all of her really, anyway…

“i like a tux. you look really good in a tux.”

who makes jokes at inappropriate times?

auggie.

at what age do they discuss the possibility of children?

i think they just know they want kids, and it comes about as a “when we have kids” kind of moment. and neither of them question it because there’s no objection. there’s also the fact that the first time she gets pregnant catches them both by surprise.

what do they love about each other the most?

auggie loves how much teddy loves. her heart is enormous and the amount of love that pours out of her at any given moment takes his breath away. she’s there for all her friends and family no questions asked, and the way she loves him, and the way she takes care of him, he could’ve never imagined he’d ever deserve a love like that.

she’s his loving, perfect little goofball.

teddy loves how much auggie cares about stuff. he’s so excitable and bright eyed and he has every reason to be jaded but just isn’t. not really. not in the ways it counts. he just loves things and people and comes at them with the excitement of the very first day.

and that smile of his. she’ll do anything to see him smile. that… wow. yeah.

who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focuses on the small details?

teddy sees the big picture always. she’s patient like that. auggie focuses on the details. it’s why he can spiral, and how she can make sure he doesn’t.

what would they write on their partner’s social media for their anniversary?

vlauggie: no idea where you came from or what i did to deserve you, but life with you is pretty amazing. (and then a picture of teddy baking in the kitchen with her back turned)

teddybea: for sure my favorite human. (with a video of him playing a vr game he didn’t know she was recording)

who is bad at math?

teddy. math sucks.

who googles everything?

auggie probably. but he’s always connected to something so it’s a habit at this point.

who does stuff on impulse?

also auggie. anxiety. and low patience. he talks about allie, but he’s worse, just less vocal.

(“okay that’s a lie, nobody is like allie. nobody.”)

how do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

there’s a lot of holding and cuddling for comfort. sometimes they just sit in silence in front of the fireplace. or they’ll lie on the floor. they like the floor. there’s a lot of thinking done on the floor.

what is an inside joke they have?

if there’s a secret room they’ve likely hooked up in it. not sure if that’s an inside joke but there ya go.

just for you

who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

teddy just has to breathe and auggie is smiling for the rest of the day.

what is their favourite holiday?

probably christmas because they’re two big kids. and there’s something really wondrous about christmas lights. for all the times they’ve been apart on holidays, christmas has always been the one they’ve had to figure out how to make their own.

they like to lie side by side under the christmas tree and look up at the lights and dream.

who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?

they’re both pretty calm and collected for the most part. he’s definitely the one to lose his head first, though.

what is their favourite board game to play?

classic? clue. though they go through a chess phase after the queen’s gambit. also life. not technically a board game, but taboo. but their brains are connected, so people hate playing with them.

who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?

auggie would probably drive the getaway car.

what artist/group did they go to for their first concert?

some tiny indie show deep in brooklyn where they could hide in plain sight.

who is the more social one?

probably teddy. auggie’s fairly social, and nice, but it does take him a second to jump in.

what are their karaoke songs?

auggie does a mean “it’s all coming back to me now” by celine dion, and no, he will not be taking questions after this.

teddy does classic pop queens of course. “stronger” by britney spears is a show.

(though, and this isn’t necessary karaoke, she once got pulled into singing an acoustic version unpretty by tlc with daily and it was probably the most beautiful thing ever)

who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?

auggie, one thousand percent. happily.

which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

teddy always warns auggie not to stay up, but he does anyway, and then he’s dealing with the consequences.

which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

that kitchen is fucking master chef. next question.

which one spends all day running errands and which one says “you remembered [thing], right?”

auggie probably spends time running around and comes back with his arms full of stuff.

“shit, i meant to text you, i’m sorry. you remembered the ice cream, right?”

“fuck.”

(he’s driven back to the store on a few occasions)

if they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

auggie is certainly more dramatic so he’d make a huge deal about it, while teddy just strolls in behind him. “you could’ve just pushed this button.”

which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

teddy brings auggie something from every tour stop he doesn’t make it to. or she’ll replace his streaming headphones every once in a while.

auggie’s more of a gestures guy. he’ll make dinner, show up unannounced (though she’s done this before and he nearly fell over) plan a date in front of the fire or on a roof top, whisk her away on a long drive for an adventure.

which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

okay, it was one time and he doesn’t scream about spiders, but he’s a city boy and bugs are just not his wave at all.

which one gives the other their jacket?

auggie. he’s been known to give her the shoes off his feet also. so that tells you everything you need to know.

who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

not threatened but roasted. daily, belly, and honey forever roast auggie within an inch of his life. all with love. it’s the one time he’s grateful for his mess of a bunch for giving him a thicker skin.

olive, on the other hand, threatens his very existence if he ever hurts teddy. but she and teddy are like sisters too.

who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

teddy, probably. auggie might be too nervous. unless he literally can’t take it anymore and then it just bursts out of him,

how good would they be at parenting?

team effort for sure. auggie’s probably a bit more of a pushover than teddy is, but that’s because he has such a soft spot for teddy that of course he’d be mush at any human who came from her.

and they just adore their kids so much. like heart bursting kind of love.

losing lip is hard, and nearly breaks them, but it makes them appreciate the little moments in between even more. even if that means getting rosie’s little feet in the face in the middle of the night. or briar’s knees in the ribs. or having to squeeze into aurora’s bed to make sure the monsters don’t come out in the middle of the night.

(their daughters don’t seem to make the connection that they have towers for parents until way later in life)

which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

they’re both pretty regular with their typing. auggie definitely uses more internet slang though.

who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

teddy makes terrible puns and laughs at herself while doing it. 

who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

teddy probably would bring home a puppy or kitten no question.

which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

he’d never been to disney before, and his dad’s miracle campaign stop lining up with her tour ends up being the brightest source of light through the end of the tunnel.

but here he is, sparkly ears, blue, pink, and purple, atop his head, and a ‘my first visit’ pin on his chest, both purchased by her. she’d played tour guide and they’d had the best first day ever.

“‘d you have fun?” she mumbles, arms wrapping tighter around his chest as her lips lightly find the side of his neck.

he nods, rearranging his hands on her thighs and boosting her up so she could rest more comfortably on his back. “yeah, it was amazing.”

“good,” she smiles, resting her chin on his shoulder.

which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

teddy performing on stage is auggie’s favorite brand of euphoria. she shines up there, but ironically, he can’t cheer for her. he can only smile proudly or else his heart bursts from love.

family game night, however? the full hunter-graham labor day weekend maine extravaganza, when they destroy everyone at charades? yankees winning the world series level cheers.

“they definitely practice when we’re not here,” bixby mutters.

“oh totally,” frannie agrees beside him. “gross.”

auggie on a baseball field is also a sight to see. he doesn’t play much anymore. but he’s zeroes in his focus, and the seamlessness between him and allie is impressive, considering how much they bicker. teddy totally shows up in her cute “watching baseball outfit” jersey, cap, foam finger and all.

which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

teddy should definitely be the one trusted with fashion because auggie, while not a bad dresser, doesn’t have much variety to his wardrobe.

however, teddy did ask auggie to help touch up her highlights over quarantine and dye some of it pink and he did a pretty decent job for his first time. only missed a few spots

“you can thank me for that,” allie says one day over zoom. “i bullied him into learning how to french braid my hair when we were seven.”

“no, don’t laugh,” auggie says seriously. “she actually did bully me.”

which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

auggie’s fully convinced teddy’s cats want him dead. they haven’t done anything to him, not really, but there’s a look that warns him he won’t make it out of this house alive by the end of it. whatever ‘it’ is...

which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

auggie. they’re both towers, but he’s still taller than she is, so it just makes sense for him to hold the umbrella and hold her in the process.

if your they went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? who would take the pictures?

see paris above.

although they’d thrive on a beach, minus the inevitable sunburn.

“but the freckles you get after are cute,” teddy says, and kisses both of his cheeks.

and in a winter lodge.

“so,” he says, setting down his eggnog on the lip of the hot tub to tug on her arm. “where were we?” he asks, drawing her onto his lap.”

and in a tiny hostel in amsterdam they end up having to share a tiny bed in because they make a mistake when booking.

“i swear to god if you two start hooking up down there, i’m going to kill you both.”

“allie,” he groans, kicking the bunk above him, “shut the fuck up.”

teddy giggles. “did you have to do all that?” she asks, twining her leg with his again. “we’d just figured out how to get cozy.”

“are you guys just gonna talk all night or let me sleep?” olive grumbles.

“all of you? shut the fuck up,” frannie says finally, and if she could’ve slammed a door, she probably would’ve.

[michael-radi-the-glamorous-life]

In Review: "Oklahoma!"

The first time I saw Oklahoma! live was at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival in Ontario, Canada (in 2006?). I remember turning to my parents and saying:

“That was fantastic, and they really didn’t stray away from the dark part of the show. I don’t think I ever need to see this show again!”

All of this to say that, when the recent St. Ann’s Warehouse production of Oklahoma! first caused a stir at the Warehouse and then again in its move to Circle In The Square, I did not feel the need nor desire to run to see it. I had seen it onstage twice, plus the two filmed versions, and how different could it really be?

So I waited…until last weekend. The second-to-last performance. (How’s that for procrastination?!)

So, was it all that different?

Well, no. But yes? And also really no.

Don’t Throw Bouquets at Me

Most of what I’ve heard people say about this production were things like:

“It’s so dark!"“

“It’s really different!”

“They did some cool, but strange things with it.”

“They took it in a completely new direction.”

“I’ll never see Oklahoma! the same way again!”

“You have to see it. You would appreciate it.”

Some of this I agree with, but some of it I very much do not.

Let’s tackle the idea that this production of Oklahoma! was particularly (thematically) dark: Yes, but no darker than any production of this show really should be.

It seems to me that either - with the number of people whose minds were blown by the production’s darkness - many people had not ever seen Oklahoma! onstage, or just were not aware of the content of the show. But let us not forget - early musical theatre was all dark. It’s written into the DNA of the genre: There is disturbing content (usually intentional, sometimes not) between and underneath all the glitz, glamor, and show tunes.

Examples:

Show Boat - Racism, Prejudice, Abandonment

Carousel - Domestic Abuse, Murder

South Pacific - Racism, Tokenism, War

The King And I - Racism, Colonialism

The Sound Of Music - …I mean, it’s set against the backdrop of Nazism…

And these are just Rodgers/Hart and Rodgers/Hammerstein musicals! Once you start including Lerner & Lowe, Comden & Green, and Kander & Ebb you get more murder, classicism, racism, misogyny, mob mentality, white supremacy, white saviorism, colonialism, capitalism, and so much more.

Now, to be fair, many writers included these themes specifically to subvert them - it’s a large part of why the piece was written (whether or not they accomplished their goal). But it’s undeniable that dark themes have been part of the tradition of musical theatre since its very inception.

Which brings us back to Oklahoma!

This production did not specifically add in dark elements to the story - they already existed. These themes include:

Murder

Rape

Toxic Masculine Behavior

White Male Entitlement

White Privilege

Racism

Misogyny

Mob Mentality

Intentional Othering

Community Crime Cover-Up

Excessive/Irresponsible Gun Usage

White Expansionism/”Manifest Destiny”

Violence or Threatened Violence Used to end Disagreement

And more

What I think this production did brilliantly was something that was ultimately a simple idea, but probably very technically difficult to thread throughout the entire production: They stripped the show of it shiny, musical theatre veneer and let the subtext become the text.

It was very effective.

Don’t Laugh at My Jokes Too Much

What I loved the most about it’s blatant stripping of the musical-theatre-genre-crutch was how often in the show the characters were all just sitting down in chairs spread across the stage, speaking in matter-of-fact tones.

Musical theatre so often relies on stage business, larger-than-life personalities, big voices, over-the-top movements, music, and choreography to provide the “entertainment” side of the evening, all the while hoping that the underlying messages of the show don’t then become lost on the audience.

Oklahoma! took no chances here. When the darkness of the scenes’ text, subtext, or situations were paramount, they stripped all of those other elements away, leaving you to sit with exactly what was being presented to you.

This worked so well that, during intermission and as I was leaving the theatre, I heard people saying things like:

“Is that how it’s always done?”

“Wait, what did they change?”

“There’s no way that’s the actual text.”

But it is! This production just made sure you did not forget it.

Now, that’s not to say that the production didn’t lean into the lighter moments of the show and bring out the comedy, dance, and fun - it totally did. BUT, often the laughter was tentative.

Why?

Much of the humor in Oklahoma! is based upon racist and misogynistic assumptions and, amongst the rest of the stripped down show, you could not laugh your way around that. This was awesome to behold across the audience. (Disclaimer: Not all of the humor is in this vain, and these performers were truly funny.)

The stripping down idea was so pervasive in the show that - at 2 separate moments - there were scenes in complete darkness.

And a couple other times the only light was coming from the live, projected images of the onstage camera capturing the hauntingly intimate moments.

Your senses were heightened, and there was no escaping the show’s text. It was very well done.

Don’t Sigh and Gaze at Me

The sound design was brilliant.

I’m not sure I can stress enough how fantastic the sound design for this show was.

The sporadic and intentional use of handheld mics, live stand mic/monitor setups, wireless mics, no mics, sudden live gunfire, and traveling sound across a circle of rumbling speakers was effective, intelligent, and well-executed.

Additionally, the orchestration was great. I hadn’t been a fan any time I had heard the show performed on award shows or morning shows, but when played live - in the room as intended - the balance was excellent and it added a grounded modernity to the show.

The lighting often confused me.

Some of the choices were beautiful and made a lot of sense: The light for the Act 2 opening dance sequence, the use of the party string lights, having full house lights on for the top of the show, and the pure darkness scene choices.

But then other choices seemed very random and without meaning or intention. Though, perhaps these choices were simply lost on me.

For instance, I was never sure what the intent was behind the full-stage washes of lime green and burnt orange. They seemed to be randomly placed throughout the show. I was also not a fan of taking the entire theatre from pure darkness to full stage and house lights in ~30 fade-ins. This might be due to my light sensitivity though.

The set was purely appropriate and quite effective.

I loved the pervasive wooden look of the entire show. The use of the chairs and tables was excellent. And adorning the walls with rifles was a great touch - not letting you forget what this show is really about.

All in all, the production elements really helped deliver the vision of this production, and often enhanced it far beyond my expectations.

People Will Say We’re In Love

It’s entirely possible that you may gather from this review that I loved the show.

Well, I enjoyed it and I’m glad I saw it.

It was not the mind-blowing experience for me that it seemed to be for many - though this is probably because of that Stratford production I saw in high school that clued me in to the realities of musical theatre’s pervasive dark side.

But I did think it was excellently done and well worth seeing! I appreciate what this production did, and I’m sure I’ll never see an Oklahoma! quite like that ever again.

Only one more comment about the production itself:

Yes, Curly is not a good guy. In fact, no one in this show can be considered a “good guy” - they all have tremendous flaws that negate their more endearing, sympathetic, or empathetic qualities, and can leave you feeling both empty and disgusted.

The choice to change the wedding fight at the end was, in my opinion, not necessarily more effective than having Judd go after Curly openly. It accomplished the same ideas - Judd still threatens by coming to the wedding and bringing a gun, and Curly and Laurey both still want him dead, and everyone is still relieved to have had the excuse to be rid of him. Yay mob justice.

So the change still got the job done. But I remain unconvinced that it was oh-so-different or more effective.

Anywho!

If you missed this one, I would highly suggest (even if just for research) making a trip to TOFT at some point to give it a gander.

OK?

[taste-in-music]

Reacting to Charli, baby!

If you were wondering why I hadn’t mentioned her in my last Music Monday post, this is why! I haven’t done one of these long album reaction posts in a long, long while, (not since Love + Fear, I believe,) and this is an album I’ve been hyped for, so I figured why not? I’ve heard a lot of the singles, but there are still many surprises to by had. Listen along to the album with me if you want, and without further ado, let’s ride.

Next Level Charli

I’m getting big “Vroom Vroom” vibes from this? 

I’ve got it. This song is like the inverse to “Vroom Vroom.” It’s got the same anthemic bombast to it from the vocal delivery and lyrics, but with a brighter sound. The synths are high and glistening rather than low and abrasive.

The lyrics are super sweet. Maybe a dedication to the fans?

All right Charli, I’m ready to go to the next level. 

Gone ft. Christine and the Queens

God this song still slams into the exosphere. The verses have so much taut tension to them with the bubbling synths and snappy drums, and then the chorus comes and hits you like a ton of bricks. 

Also can we talk about how relatable the lyrics are? This is one giant shoutout to everyone that’s an insecure and antisocial mess at any party or gathering. Thank you for making a song for our kind Charli.

Christine and the Queens’s voice has this amazing fluidity to it, it must be the French in her. (Also, when she sings in French during the bridge? DEAD.)

Still meh on the outro though.

Cross You Out ft. Sky Ferreira

We’ve got some more aggressive production on this song, which is cool. It contrasts nicely with the more lilting vocals. 

GIMME THOSE SKY FERREIRA CRUMBS. WHEN ARE WE GETTING MASOCHISM???!?! 

If you listen to the bridge with good headphones you can hear these really low backing vocals from Sky that rattle the nape of your neck, they’re amazing.

I do wish it was a bit more experimental though, it does stay fairly constant through the entirety of the song and makes it a bit of a bland listen. Doesn’t mean I don’t like it, though.     

1999 ft. Troye Sivan

Bop. Next.

Okay, I should actually say something about this, shouldn’t I?

I think it’s pretty cool that a song about 90s throwbacks actually does all it can to sound like it was plucked right out of the 90s. The production is bouncy, sparkly, and seamless, filled with glitching synths, sharp drums, and cute little ad-libs that make it a ton of fun. (That little “hee-hee” that Troye does after mentioning Michael Jackson? Art.)

I’m not usually into stuff that cashes into cheap nostalgia with little commentary as to why that nostalgia is wanted, (the main difference between me liking a song like “Ribs” by Lorde vs. “2002″ by Anne-Marie for example,) but whatever. This is catchy as heck. I love it.

Click ft. Kim Petras and Tommy Cash

Ooh, looks like we’re getting spooky here. This sounds very Turn Off The Lights and Pop 2.

We got a “woo-ah!” Kim Petras is here! 

I’ve never heard of Tommy Cash or listened to any of his music. I don’t know if his sound is quite for me, but maybe I’ll look into his solo work later. 

This isn’t a favorite of mine so far, (it’s far more avant garde than the other songs,) but I don’t know. I see it having its time and place, specifically when I want to feel like a bad bitch. 

Warm ft. HAIM

Those keys! Those gentle synths! Hearing this production with headphones on is heavenly. 

I never thought that Charli XCX and HAIM could work on a track together. HAIM is a very acoustic-driven band that takes inspiration from the past, and Charli always leans into more futuristic, synthetic ideas, but HAIM slip into Charli’s sound pretty well here. 

Overall, it’s not a standout, but I don’t dislike it. My consensus isn’t especially hot or cold, it’s WARM. 

I’m so sorry.

Thoughts

Well that intro brought me to attention very quickly. Am I in a Windows startup? 

Those high notes are the best part of the song. Charli’s got range! Her vocals sound really full and rich here, especially on the verses.  

Ironically, I don’t have many thoughts on this song overall.  

I’m so sorry.

Blame It On Your Love ft. Lizzo

I already know that I love this song. Let’s get to bopping!

Small detail but the snare drums on this song are great. 

This song has a drop that doesn’t suck, and I can’t stress how rare and refreshing that is. It sounds like a shot of caffeine, buzzy and colorful and not long enough. 

Can we all agree that Lizzo is a blessing unto this Earth? Charisma rolls off her in waves. I don’t think I’ve ever been so sad for a rap verse to end in a pop song. 

What an amazing song. 

White Mercedes

The vulnerability in the lyrics on this song matched the subtler production sounds great. 

Charli’s vocals sounds??? So good??? I don’t want this to come across the wrong way, but I never really listened to her music for her vocal prowess. Her strong suit always laid in delivering energy and an assertive presence, (like on “I Love It” or “Break The Rules.”) But this song shows just how downright lovely she can sound. 

This is stacking up to be one of my favorite non-singles on this album. What a wonderful surprise this turned out to be.  

Silver Cross

This is all right. I don’t have much to say on it. It’s got some interesting production elements and a solid vocal performance. It’s middle of the road.

In hindsight this maybe could’ve been cut. 

I Don’t Wanna Know

We’ve got a more moody, atmospheric sound for this song. The drums and synths have lots of echo to them, giving the mix a sense of space. It’s like Charli’s the singer in a smoky room from “Don’t Stop Believin.’”

While it’s nice that the album takes a break from the glittery pop hooks and bombastic party jams, I do think this is a tad dull. 

Official

I like those little punches of synth that make up the rhythm in the first verse.

OH MY GOD, the sparkling synths and tinkling keys on this track, they sound like flowers blooming and glimmering gemstones, that is GORGEOUS. 

The way that the production builds on this song by laying in the sounds one by one is really interesting. Some of the effect is lost by the way the backing track is frequently paused throughout the song, which is kind of annoying, but the idea is there, and it’s cool. I like it in theory. 

Shake It ft. Big Freedia, cupcakKe, and Pablo Vittar

I’ve heard a lot of good things about cupcakKe’s solo work and I know that she’s worked with Charli in the past, and I also know that Pablo Vittar and Charli made “Flash Pose” recently,” but  I haven’t heard any of the solo work from these guest features, so I have no clue what to expect.

Those water sounds and how they meld into glitchy techno noises and then breaths? The dual tracking that moves from ear to ear and the whispered vocals? Her mind? 

This is a wild ride with headphones on. 

Febrary 2017 ft. Clairo and Yaeji

I didn’t listen to this despite it being released as a single. I wanted to be a surprise for the album. 

Clairo’s low key voice works pretty well with the slithery vocal production that Charli often uses. I guess the glitchiness of Charli’s sound would compliment a bedroom pop artist. 

The way the production explodes! This sounds fantastic! Holy moly! It’s like diving into a cotton candy wonderland!

That switch up into Yaeji’s part is pretty jarring though. While I like the cooing, gentle vocals and minimal production, it upright clashes with the first half of the track. If it had been worked into the previous production rather than cutting away from it I think it might’ve worked better. 

This song comes across more as a mish-mash of ideas rather than a polished final product. I think maybe another draft could’ve improved it. Still, I do love the ideas it presents. 

2099 ft. Troye Sivan

That last song! My my my how 50 minutes have flown by.

That heartbeat at the start of the song! 

Okay this song is kind of all over the place. I don’t know if I have any definite thoughts on it. 

Still, if this is what music sounds like in 2099 I won’t necessarily be complaining. 

My Thoughts Summarized: This album feels like Charli half wanted to go avant-garde, half wanted to go mainstreen-friendly. This leads to a couple of confused moments, but also to some songs that meet those two options in the middle. While I feel like a few tracks could’ve been reworked or cut, I do like this project a lot. Charli really brought the bops and stepped it up with the vocals and lyrics. My favorite songs at the moment are probably “Gone,” “Blame It One Your Love,” and “White Mercedes.”

Can we talk about how gorgeous the visuals for this album have been, not only with the album art but with the music videos too? We had the badass prosthetics for “Blame It On Your Love,” the 90s throwback with “1999,” and Charli and Chris dancing on a car in the rain. I love it.

What did you think of Charli?  Agree or disagree? Comment or reblog with your thoughts, I’m excited to hear what you think.

[stellalux-universe]

Without You

Summary: It was just a stupid fight, that's all it was. But when your passion runs as high as theirs does, sometimes that's all it takes to rip you apart. The real question is, are you brave enough to try again?

Hello!

This is my first Crüe fic and I was so excited to write it because I adore Tommy and Nikki together but then I started writing and what was supposed to be like 8,000 words max grew out of my control because it seems I'm incapable of writing anything short.

So what was the end result? Nearly 50 damn pages of angst and sadness and emotion. A little happy, fun stuff here and there too, but still!

In any case, a couple of things to know, this story is set in an au where hair metal is seeing it's heyday in the current year, so modern timeline and it is A/B/O because I have been dying to explore writing with omega!Tommy and alpha!Nikki. Hopefully I did it some justice. Also, the timeline skips back and forth between 2018 and 2019, all of the past is in italics just in case you miss the date change!

This is also posted on my AO3 under StellaLux if you would prefer to read it there! I just thought, “maybe some people are on tumblr but not AO3? What the hell, I’ll post it tumblr to get like 2 notes just for kicks!”

Enjoy!

~May 15th, 2019~

In retrospect, Tommy supposes that this entire situation was his own damn fault.

Not that he would ever say that out loud. Introspective contemplation of his past choices and mistakes have never really been his style. In his experience, such things only led to a tortured mind and put you into a depressive mood and that was definitely not his vibe. He couldn’t go back in time to change anything, so he may as well not worry about it anymore.

Even still, he has to admit that if he hadn’t been so bone dead tired a day ago after not only a photo shoot but also a reshoot on top of that because the fucking photographer hadn’t liked the fucking lighting, he probably wouldn’t be in this mess.

Because then, when Tom had called to beg him to attend this party for the band he had just signed, he would have had the wit to ask the most basic but important question, “Which band is it?”

But Zutaut had called him right after he had changed into his street clothes. Right after shooting from 5 in the fucking morning to 6 in the evening, when he was ready to go home, crawl into bed and not wake up for a full 24 hours. Tom was lucky he had even answered honestly. When his phone rang, Tommy had looked at it with nothing short of absolute disgust and had wanted so badly to just ignore him.

Tom Zutaut wasn’t a person that people had hard line opinions about. Despite having a cool job that usually got people’s attention, the newest producer at Elektra records was, to put it as nicely as possible, an absolute fucking bore. He was the epitome of a brown paper bag, plain and bland, the kind of person who was just… there. Tommy didn’t particularly like him, but he didn’t dislike him either.

Had Tom been anyone else, Tommy would have declined the call and continued unencumbered with his plan to get home as soon as possible to pass out. But it was Tom, and despite thinking the producer was probably the most yawn-inducing individual he had ever met, Tommy couldn’t ignore him and the reason was simple. Tommy owed Tom. He owed him a lot.

Tom had come into his life when Tommy was at his lowest; he had just broken up with the man that he was pretty sure was meant to be his mate, was forced to leave his new, fledgling band that he was in love with, and was living on a friend’s couch. Tom had seen him at a party one night and after talking for just a few minutes had gotten him a role as an extra in a music video. That cameo had caught the eye of an up and coming photographer and landed him his first photoshoot and that photoshoot had landed him a 5 year contract with a pretty big modeling company. It wasn’t necessarily what Tommy had envisioned for his life, but it paid the bills for a nice apartment, a nice car, and a fairly glamorous lifestyle so he couldn’t really complain.

And he couldn’t ignore Tom, who had put everything in motion for him.

~May 14th, 2019~

Tommy feels like crying when his phone rings. He’s so damn tired and he barely has enough in him to drive himself home, let alone entertain a conversation but the caller id says it’s Tom and despite not typically caring to follow the rules of social niceties, Tommy would feel bad about ignoring the other man who has helped him so much. So he picked up reluctantly and threw himself down into a chair in his stylist’s dressing room so he could at least sit through whatever banality that Zutaut had to throw at him.

“Hey Tom.”

“Tommy! You are exactly who I wanted to talk to!” Tom’s voice is higher than normal and overly happy. The tone is familiar to Tommy, it’s the tone the other man takes when he’s about to ask for a favor that he’s going to wheedle him into doing by throwing the fact that Tommy owes him in his face.

Tommy sighs, eyes drooping as he tapped the fingers of his right hand against his jean clad legs to a beat of a song in his head, “Yeah, I figured, you know, since it was me you called.”

Tom gives a nervous chuckle and when he speaks again, his words are stilted and hesitant like they always are when he tries to cash in his IOUs, “Yeah, I guess that’s true. Well, uhh, I kind of need a favor.”

“Uh huh.” Tommy responded, eyes falling shut against his will as he waited for Tom to continue.

“You see, I just signed this band, and it’s my first major signing and they’re going to be fucking awesome Tommy, like seriously, they’re going to be huge and they’re right up your alley. Like, for real Tommy, you would love them, they’re so cool-“

“Tom, please, for the love of god. I’m literally like a minute from fucking passing out here, please just tell me what you want.” Tommy interrupts as he gets up to start walking to his car. He’s not paying much attention anyway so he may as well multitask.

“Oh shit, yeah, you had a job today. Hope that went well, I saw that stuff you did for Gucci last season. I don’t know much about that stuff but you looked great-”

“TOM!” Tommy growls into the phone, startling some of the people in the hallway. Tommy waves an apologetic hand and flashes a smile and they laugh and shake their heads at him.

“Yeah, okay, so here’s the thing, we’re throwing them this signing party to celebrate and introduce them to other people at the company and I really need some cred with these guys Tommy, so they’ll respect me-”

“You got them a record deal Tom, that’s not enough for them to respect you?” He rolls his eyes as he pushes his way out of the back door, waving to the security guard and walking over to where he parked his car.

“These guys are crazy Tommy, the first time I sat down to talk to them, they had a woman underneath the table who tried to surprise blow me!”

Despite his exhaustion and the fact that he’s barely listening, Tommy snorts out a laugh at that because that’s fucking hilarious. Thinking about a straight laced guy like Zutaut in a situation like that… his reaction had probably been priceless. He gets exactly what Tom is getting at now. The type of wildness that comes with that kind of activity, those guys probably see Tom as a fucking doormat.

Which he is, but still.

“And what do you think I can do about this Tom?”

“Well, you see, I was thinking that if I show up at the party with a gorgeous omega model, maybe it will earn me a little bit of credibility.”

Tommy groans as he opens his car door and slides in. He could honestly probably afford a driver and right about now that sounded like heaven but there was something he absolutely adored about driving around LA and he didn’t want to give that up just to be boujee and lazy.

“So you want to use my looks and profession to make a good impression on some wild rock stars? I really don’t know how much of an impact I’ll have Tom.”

“Tommy. Seriously. Have you seen you? You’re literally one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen and I work with a ton of attractive people. You literally just did a campaign with Gucci last season. You’re the perfect blend of ridiculously sexy and cool that these guys will appreciate! If I walked into the party with you on my arm, it’d be a good start to getting them to listen to me a little bit more.”

Tom’s voice is plaintive, almost whiny and the flattery would be nice if the beta didn’t say it in such a matter of fact way. That was part of the problem with Zutaut, Tommy thought. There wasn’t an ounce of passion in the man. Everything was a calculation, everything had a purpose, and Tommy’s attractiveness was just something to be used. It made him a fairly shrewd businessman and definitely contributed to why he was able to make producer at such a young age, but it was also the reason for the current predicament he was in. With his wild rock star clients not giving two shits about what he said because he was such a damn square.

Tommy starts the engine and there’s a brief pause in their conversation as his phone pairs with his car’s system and then Tom’s voice comes back, “Please Tommy. Last favor, I swear. We’re even-steven after this.”

That was familiar, Tommy’s pretty sure Zutaut has said that the last four times he has asked for favors. Still, it was just a party and Tommy was still a sucker for parties. And honestly, if it ended this conversation so Tommy could focus on driving himself home to sleep, he’d agree to anything.

“Fine.”

“Awesome! Thanks Tommy, this is going to help me so much, you have no idea. Try to look your best okay? Like total knockout. The party is on-”

Tommy sighs in frustration for what has to be the billionth time that day and cuts the beta off as he continues to prattle on, “I’m hanging up on you now Zutaut. I need to focus on driving so I don’t fall asleep at the wheel and crash. Just text me the damn details.”

And with that, Tommy presses end.

Tom texts him as soon as he hangs up to tell him that he would pick him up at 7pm the next night and to remind him in a completely blatant way to “dress up”. Tommy guesses that’s Zutaut’s way of asking him to dress slutty to appeal to a bunch of rock stars and he immediately regrets agreeing to go at all. Tom is generally annoying to be around for any extended length of time and it grates on his nerves when people treat him like he’s only worth having around to ‘look good’. It comes with the territory when your job is built around your physical appearance, but that doesn’t mean that the people in Tommy’s life should treat him as such and he certainly didn’t tolerate it when they did.

He feels better after he wakes up the next day a little after 1pm. He hadn’t even bothered to change when he had gotten home, had just shed his pants and collapsed into his bed, so he feels a little gross while he walks out of his bedroom in yesterday’s shirt and underwear to head to the kitchen to make coffee and get some food.

He pauses in the living room when his eyes catch the drum kit shining in the afternoon sun. It’s tucked away in the corner between two large windows, unassuming and gleaming in a way that pulls at his heart and makes his fingers twitch.

He hasn’t played in a year.

It’s tortuous sometimes. Drums are ingrained into his very being, as much a part of him as the blood that rushes through his veins when he’s hitting out a beat. He misses it with a severity that’s intense and all-encompassing but the pain he feels when he looks at the kit now dampens his desire until he can’t summon the will to pick up his sticks again.

He can barely remember back to the time when all he felt when he looked at his drum kit was joy and pride. It’s there, back behind the pain and the heartache and the sadness. A memory of a room and three other guys, hard hitting vocals, a shredding guitar, his own limbs heavy with exhaustion but adrenaline lighting him up as he pounds a beat out hard. A memory of a bassist with pale green eyes who gives him a heart stopping smile when they come to a break.

It’s only been a year, but Tommy has shoved those memories down so far into his heart that the men in them feel like ghosts to him. He sometimes feels like a ghost himself. The Tommy Lee who so loved his drums, who was wild, and excitable and so, so in love with life was dead.

Now all that’s left is this stereotype of a tall, pretty omega model in Hollywood who can’t even think about pursuing his passions because of how much it hurts him to remember.

Tommy scoffs at himself and tears his eyes away from his drum set, walking into the kitchen and letting muscle memory guide him into making coffee and reheating leftovers from the day before as he thinks that this is exactly why he doesn’t focus on the past. It’s just too damn depressing.

~January 18th, 2018~

Tommy is nearly bouncing in his seat at the diner in excitement. He keeps throwing little glances at the man a few booths away to make sure it’s who he thinks it is, but Tommy’s pretty fucking confident that it is.

He looks at his friend’s amused face across from him and the girl laughs softly at what has to be the goofiest of hopeful expressions that is morphing his features.

They had just gotten out of the concert they had met up for, and Tommy was already a ball of energy because London was one of his favorite up and coming bands and the show had been sick but as soon as they had been seated after deciding to get some food, he had caught sight of a familiar face and then proceeded to steadily lose his shit.

“Seriously, that’s him right? That’s Nikki fucking Sixx sitting just a few booths away from me?” Tommy harshly whispers, as if the other man was paying any attention to anything other than the paper spread out in front of him and the tissue he kept pressing to his bloody nose.

His friend just grins at him, “Looks like it, yeah.”

Tommy fidgets and bites his lip, “Should I go over and talk to him?”

The girl across from him nods, small little wicked smirk on her face. She’s a good friend but she loves watching him make a fool of himself, which is no doubt exactly what she thinks he’s about to do now.

“Yeah, you should. I’m just gonna get a milkshake and get gone.”

Tommy is already sliding out of his seat as she speaks, giving her a thumbs up and a ‘see you later.’

He walks over as confidently as he can with his nerves flaring up. Tommy isn’t one to be shy or embarrassed by much, but he’s eighteen and the older bassist is probably one of the coolest musicians on the scene right now and that’s enough to make him jittery. It also doesn’t help that the man is probably the most gorgeous alpha that Tommy has ever actually seen in public. Dark hair, killer jaw line, intense pale green eyes and just as intense alpha aura, Tommy practically shivers the closer he gets. Tommy could hardly be called inexperienced, he’s been with a couple of alpha’s before but it’s always been with people his own age, fumbling around, figuring out how their biology even worked. But the vibe that Nikki gives off is nothing like the alpha’s Tommy has been with, and the omega in him is intensely attracted to that.

He stops right in front of the table the other man is sitting at, bounces on his heels a few times and decides to just go for it, “Hey, that was badass dude. The show, not the nose… but the nose was pretty badass too.”

Tommy almost blushes as Nikki looks up at him while he rambles. The other man doesn’t say anything for a second, just drags his eyes over Tommy a few times before he finally replies in a drawling voice, accent something that Tommy can’t really identify, “The singer’s an asshole.”

Tommy releases a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding when he hears Nikki’s reply and feels a little more confident, “I know. I saw. Hey, fuck him though, he deserved it.”

Nikki gives him a nod and goes back to scanning the paper in front of him, he seems to have lost interest or something and Tommy bites his lip before blurting out, “I got your poster on my bedroom wall.”

The alpha looks up at him incredulously then, raising an eyebrow and letting a small, delicious smirk stretch across his lips when Tommy closes his eyes and groans at how that sounded. “I can’t believe I just said that. I mean, fuck, I didn’t mean it, you know, like that, I just meant-“

Nikki chuckles as he stumbles over his words and shakes his head, “Take the fucking poster down man, London’s dead.”

Tommy opens his mouth to reply when the waitress comes over and stops on the other side of Nikki’s table, “What can I get you boys?”

Tommy blinks and slides into the booth across from Nikki, giving the man a smile when he gets a confused look from the bassist. The alpha just gives a small smirk again before looking up at the older beta waitress with a charming smile, “Can I please get a Jack and coke Dottie?”

The waitress rolls her eyes but writes it down regardless and Tommy gets the feeling that maybe Nikki is a regular here and she’s used to the request. The woman looks at him then, “And for you honey?”

Tommy smiles brightly at the woman and is satisfied when her lips tug upwards in response, always happy to make others a little happier, “Blueberry pancakes, please.”

“Of course hun.” She says lightly as she walks away and when Tommy looks back at Nikki, the bassist is staring at him with this intense gleam in his eyes that wasn’t there before. Sitting across from him now, Tommy can make out his scent prominently, and it’s something that goes straight to his head. Nikki smells like the aftermath of a storm, when the trees and the soil are wet with rain water and everything is saturated in bold, rich color. Tommy wonders if Nikki can smell him too, he’s been told before that has a particularly pleasant scent, he wonders if that’s why the bassist is looking at him with more interest than he had before.

Tommy watches in rapt attention as Nikki leans forward and starts talking with more passion than previously, “My next band is going to be something no one’s ever fucking seen before.”

The alpha’s eyes drop back down to the paper in front of him. Tommy studies it more closely then and sees ads for musicians looking for bands. One in particular catches his eye, Mick Mars: loud, aggressive guitarist and without thinking he whips one of his drumsticks out from his belt and uses it to point at the ad, “That dude looks pretty cool.”

Nikki uses the pen he has to circle it and Tommy feels joy flood him when the older man takes his suggestion before Nikki leans back against the booth and regards him with a curious look, head tilted slightly to the side, “Do you carry those around with you everywhere?”

“Yep.” Tommy smiles, popping the p at the end of the word playfully and thrilling when Nikki chuckles at him.

The waitress is coming back then and she sits a coke and a small bottle of Jack in front of Nikki, “Here you go kid. Your pancakes will be out soon honey.”

Nikki thanks the older woman gratefully and proceeds to twist the top of the liquor bottle and instead of pouring it into the coke like Tommy had expected him to, proceeds to down the contents in one go, his eyes never leaving Tommy’s as the omega bites his lip and starts twirling his drumstick in his fingers. It’s a habit he had developed ever since he had taught himself how to do it, especially when he was nervous or stressed and the way Nikki was looking at him was making him both in the most electric way possible.

He sees Nikki eye the movement with a slightly impressed look on his face and it makes Tommy giddy to have caused it, “Where did you learn to do that?”

Tommy does blush at that but he’s honest when says, “High school marching band.”

Nikki full out laughs at that, not meanly, but in surprise, like he hadn’t expected Tommy to be that honest and it makes the omega grin when he adds, “But hey, I rock too.”

Nikki is leaning forward and smirks then and Tommy feels the warmth of arousal spread through him when the bassist lowers his voice and says, “I bet you do babe.”

A plate is sat in front of him and it makes Tommy blink in confusion as the moment between him and Nikki is interrupted, Dottie smiling at him gently for startling him. He looks back up and Nikki has gone back to looking through ads, but Tommy sees the little smile pulling at his lips and it makes him grin again, pushing the pancakes more toward the center of the table to get Nikki’s attention.

“Help me eat these pancakes and tell me more about this band.”

Nikki full out smiles at him then, and Tommy knows that he’s going to be gone for this man in no time flat.

It only takes six full days in fact.

Nikki had pretty much demanded he be his band’s drummer as soon as he found out that Tommy had drummed for Suite 19 before the band had dissolved.

“I saw you guys once. Shitty band but you have some real fucking talent babe.”

Tommy’s pretty sure he had fucking beamed with hearts in his eyes when he heard Nikki say that.

They spent the next couple days meeting up and talking about their vision for what was going to be their band. Nikki always said that, always called it “our band” and not “my band” and Tommy always felt pride move through him when he did. They spent their mornings and nights planning in Nikki’s shitty little efficiency that Tommy adored just like he adored when Nikki would pull him in close with an arm around his shoulders on the couch to look through lyrics. Tommy could see the way Nikki’s eyes would follow him as he walked through Nikki’s home, following his body when he would get up to grab them beer from the small refrigerator that was against the far wall from the couch. There was a hazy atmosphere that settled over them when they were together, it was palpable and charged and Tommy knew they could both feel it.

Their sixth day hanging out together they were sitting outside on the fire escape, taking a break between seeing guitarists and sharing Nikki’s last cigarette when a breeze blew past them. Tommy tilted his head back, enjoying the brisk air blowing his curls around his face but when he opened his eyes, he was immediately met with Nikki’s eyes squeezed closed and body tense.

Tommy put a hand on the bassist’s shoulder and squeezed at the muscle gently, “Hey, you okay Nik?”

Nikki breathed in a deep lungful of air and he smiled in what had to be the softest way Tommy had seen so far, “I’m good babe, you just…”

The alpha trailed off for a minute, the look on his face contemplating as Tommy prompted, “I just?”

Nikki shook his head with that smile, fingers coming up to brush Tommy’s hair out of his face, “You just smell really fucking good T.”

“Oh.” Tommy breaths out, heart jolting and beating fast at the admission. Before he could think to reply to that though, an absolutely shitty little hatchback was screeching to a halt in front of Nikki’s complex and a short beta with jet black hair was grumbling as he tried to get an amp out of the trunk.

Tommy and Nikki both snorted out a laugh but Tommy, being Tommy, was already running down the stairs to help the shorter man out, “Whoa, dude. You got it? Here for the audition?”

The older man levels a deadpan look at him that Tommy took to meant, ‘well no shit genius’, but he sticks with a simple, “Yep.”

Tommy helps him get the damn amp out of the trunk and the man looks at him with a scrutinizing glance, “You the singer?”

The omega laughs at that, “Absolutely not. That’s funny though, drummer.”

The beta gives him an odd look, “Pretty scrawny for a drummer.”

Tommy narrows his eyes in response. He feels Nikki moving in behind him but that doesn’t stop the annoyance from filling him. He doesn’t know this beta, he doesn’t know if he’s the type who means ‘It’s unusual for an omega to be a drummer’ when he said what he said but just for good measure he asks, “Do you have a fucking problem with that?”

Nikki is looking at him, Tommy sees him from the corner of his eyes but he doesn’t move his narrowed gaze away from the beta’s who looks satisfied at the challenge, “I meant scrawny, drummer, I didn’t mean omega. And I don’t have a fucking problem with either as long as you can fucking play good fucking music.”

Tommy’s whole demeanor changes at that, bright smile back on his face and he grabs one side of the amp and motions for the beta to do the same so they can carry it up the stairs, “Good, would have hated to give you a no before even seeing you play, old man.”

The beta growls at him at that, “Fucking teenager.”

Tommy just laughs, “I’m Tommy, the lazy fuck behind you carrying wires is Nikki.”

The short man gives the barest hint of a smile, like he doesn’t want to but just can’t help it. “Mick.”

Mick is in from the first riff of his guitar and as they play Tommy sneaks glances at Nikki just to see the nearly manic grin on the bassist’s face. Every so often their eyes will meet, and the passion Tommy finds in their locked gaze overwhelms him so much he has to look back down at his kit so he won’t blush. He’s pretty sure he still does. And he’s pretty sure that Nikki sees.

He thinks about Nikki that night while he’s at home. He’s probably going to have to move out soon. His parents don’t approve of him wanting to skip college to be in a band and as loving as they are, they aren’t going to let him live in their house unless they feel like he’s working towards something worthwhile.

But that’s not important right now. What’s important is that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with his bandmate. Tommy has a bad habit of falling too hard and too fast for people. He thinks maybe it’s a combination of his general enthusiasm for everything and his general love for people that makes him the way he is but this doesn’t feel like his usual falling in, falling out routine.

The thing between him and Nikki is magnetic. Tommy feels like he’s stuck in the bassist’s orbit, completely unable and unwilling to move too far away from him. There is just something inside of him that slots perfectly into place when he’s around Nikki and by the look in the alpha’s eyes when Tommy catches him staring, he’s pretty sure Nikki feels the same.

A few weeks of pining later he’s letting himself into Nikki’s efficiency, it’s about 11am so he knows that the bassist is probably still asleep but he hasn’t let that stop him the previous mornings and it’s not going to stop him today so he opens and shuts the door and takes off his shoes before flinging himself at the alpha who is spread across the mattress on the floor.

Nikki groans loudly and starts swatting at Tommy, because he knows it’s the younger boy, this routine becoming way too familiar but instead of laughing and rolling off of him like usual, Tommy just laughs and straddles his hips.

“Nikki, Nik, listen! I was up all night thinking about this,” Tommy starts, not even phased when Nikki tiredly tries to hit him for waking him up, “Listen Nikki! We’ve been looking for a singer and I thought about it and I think I know a guy. I actually went to high school with him, he’s absolutely perfect-”

Tommy yelps when Nikki tries to roll over and dislodge him from his perch so he can go back to sleep but Tommy is stubborn and he tightens his legs around the older man’s hips and whines out, “Nikki!”

The drummer feels Nikki go stiff as a board underneath him and when he meets his gaze, Tommy feels frozen, absolutely pinned by the intensity in the bassist’s green eyes.

“Nikki…” Tommy practically breaths, kind of scared by how silent and still the man underneath him is and that fear has him rambling pretty quickly, “Shit, I’m sorry Nik, I shouldn’t have woken you up, sorry if I annoyed you, I know you’re always telling me that you would rather I wake you up later in the afternoon and I never listen which must be irritating but I just- mmph!”

Tommy doesn’t even have time to process what is happening when Nikki suddenly surges to sit up, one hand firm on his hip to keep him stable on his lap and the other twisting in his hair to hold him still as the bassist presses their lips together in a sudden kiss.

It lasts seconds but when they part Tommy is panting like it had been hours and there’s a flush on Nikki’s cheeks when he sees the surprise in Tommy’s big brown eyes, “You, uh, you have this habit of licking your bottom lip when you nervous ramble you know? It’s really, really fucking cute.”

It’s Nikki’s turn to squirm a bit as Tommy sits there in his lap in shock and the alpha swallows before he starts talking again, “I know I probably shouldn’t have, you know, just fucking went for it without asking you for your permission or some shit like that first but fuck Tommy, I just feel, I feel so right around you. You’re so fucking beautiful, and passionate and talented and you’re not fucking annoying so don’t say that again and I just-”

It’s Tommy’s turn to interrupt him now, hands burying themselves in Nikki’s hair and pulling him forward to connect their lips again and Tommy moans when he feels Nikki’s arms wrap around his waist to pull him as close as possible, chest to chest as the bassist licks at his lower lip and dips it inside when Tommy opens his mouth. Tommy feels delirious and so fucking high that he whines in protest when Nikki breaks their kiss to breath.

Tommy laughs happily after he catches his breath, wrapping his arms around Nikki’s neck and throwing them down to lay back against the mattress, “What the fuck took you so long?!”

Nikki is laughing then too, rolling them over to hover on top of him and press kisses into every inch of Tommy’s face and neck and the omega giggles at the action but releases a sharp gasp when Nikki suddenly bites down underneath the scent gland just behind his ear.

“Sorry for making you wait babe,” Nikki’s speaks into his ear, lips brushing against the lobe and voice so low and gritty that Tommy feels a wave of heat spreading from his lower body, flush blooming along his cheeks, “Let me make it up to you.”

And he certainly proceeds to do that.

Life becomes a whirlwind for Tommy, they get his old high school friend Vince Neil to join their band and soon they’re Mötley Crüe. They spend their days writing music and preparing to take Sunset Strip by storm and they spend their nights partying and meeting people and raising hell. Tommy gets a job as a waiter at a strip bar just down the street which the rest of the boys love because it means they can drink for free during Tommy’s shifts and he, Nikki, and Vince pull their resources to get a small two bedroom apartment right on the Strip.

Tommy and Nikki are inseparable. They are so caught up in each other most of the time that they often can’t keep their hands to themselves and more than a few times Vince has to yell at them to take it to their bedroom so he doesn’t have to watch them fucking.

Nikki surprises Tommy every day with how thoughtful he can be, taking him on dates to the beach even though he hates it because he knows Tommy loves it, always picking a movie that he thinks Tommy will like even if it’s something Nikki probably wouldn’t otherwise be interested in, murmuring praises against Tommy’s skin in the early morning sun until he sits up to grab the book he keeps by the bed, arms wrapped around Tommy’s waist as the drummer sits in his lap as he writes out lyrics all about Tommy. Nikki will hum out a melody and Tommy will listen intently and fill in the spaces with a beat that he hits out on Nikki’s arms or legs, whatever is closest and the bassist will beam at him and nine times out of ten, tackle him against the bed. Nikki looks at him like he’s the most precious fucking thing in the world and when he’s with Nikki, he feels like he is.

They go into summer with a plan and a full list of songs to take over the world with. Tommy has his alpha, his lover, his absolute best friend by his side. He has his band, his chosen family, and his whole future ahead of him.

Of course, life can never be that fucking easy, can it?

~May 15th, 2019~

It’s a little after 6pm and Tommy has just gotten out of the shower, sipping from a bottle of Rosé as he stands in front of his open closet, music blasting from his speakers. Wine isn’t typically his drink of choice, but he hadn’t restocked his liquor cabinet and a few bottles had been left in his fridge from the last time he had friends over, so wine will have to do for now. If he was going to spend the rest of the night letting people assume that Tom fucking Zutaut was his date, he was at least going to get hammered. May as well start early.

Tom had asked him to dress nice, which Tommy translated in his head as “please dress slutty so my new rock star clients are envious of me for landing you as a date”.

Tommy grabs out his favorite black jeans. They’re torn to hell all up and down the legs and honestly show more of his skin than they cover up but they’re also super comfortable. He had thought about the soft leather pants right next to them but everyone was probably going to be in leather if this was a party to celebrate signing a new rock band and his stylist’s voice was sounding in his ear saying ‘dare to be different Tommy!’

With that catch phrase in mind, he pulls out some fishnet stockings too. He slides them on before pulling his jeans up carefully, mindful of the rips and tears and looks back at the mirror in the corner of his room. He lets a small smirk pulls at his lips as he takes in the band of his fishnets settling at the smallest dip of his waist and remaining visible for about three inches before disappearing below his jeans, making reappearances through the rips and tears along his legs. Yeah, that will do nicely. For the top he picks out a black worn tee. It’s cropped, so it shows the fishnet off and it’s just oversized enough that the neckline is constantly dipping down his left shoulder and it would be almost plain if it weren’t for the beautiful embroidered red roses that stretched along the entire right shoulder. He doesn’t even remember what brand it is but he loves it and it’s simple and chic enough when paired with the lower half of his outfit.

He thinks he’s dressed well enough to turn a few heads so he works on taming his hair into soft waves, briefly toying with the idea of teasing it before deciding that it was too much work for the likes of Zutaut and he prefers it loose and natural anyway. He does just enough make up to even out his complexion, give him those smoky, bedroom eyes that his photographers love so much and darkens his lips with a long lasting burgundy red.

As he finishes his makeup, he finds himself thinking that this is first time in a year that he’s done anything related to music or musicians in general. Tom is the only one even remotely tied to the music industry that he still speaks to and that’s only because of everything the other man has done for him. He ghosted everyone tied to his previous life when he walked out on him a year ago and he avoided the music scene like the plague ever since.

Nikki. Tommy does his best to not think about the green eyed bassist but no matter what Tommy does, the alpha inevitably pops back into his thoughts. It must be a combination of his earlier nostalgia with his drums, the fact that he’s about to go to a party for some up and coming rock stars and the wine, Tommy thinks as he takes a shaky breath. There was no other reason to think about his ex. Nikki was his past. Sure, he still loved the man like he doubts he would love anyone again, still longed for him during his one night stands with piss poor alphas who couldn’t hold a damn candle to the bassist, still hurt every time he wondered what he was doing at that very instant.

But he wouldn’t ever see him again, and he just needed to deal with it and push past it and continue living his damn life. Half alive was better than nothing he supposed.

Tommy downs the last of his wine and touches up his lips one last time. He’s putting on a black choker and some long dangling earrings when he sees his phone go off in the corner of his eye.

He picks it up as he walks out of his bedroom, boots in hand, “Hello?”

“Hey Tommy, I’m outside.” Tom’s voice is nervous and it makes Tommy roll his eyes as he pulls on his black boots. The heels are pretty conservative, just two inches but they’re just tall enough to give a little swing to his hips as he walks.

“I’ll be right down.”

Tommy flips the switch on his stereo system and turns out his lights, he really doesn’t need anything else, so he slips his key into his pocket after he locks his door and spins his phone in his hand like he used to spin his sticks and walks down the hall to the elevator.

Zutaut has a nice car but like everything else even remotely cool that Tom owns, he only has it because he thinks it makes him look cool. Which to Tommy is just so fucking sad. Still, he slides into the passenger seat and laughs when Tom nods at him approvingly.

“You look good Tommy.” The beta says happily as he pulls away from the curb and proceeds with what has to be the slowest drive to the Hollywood Hills that Tommy has ever experienced.

“Thanks, you told me to, but thank you I guess. You look…” Tommy trails off as he takes in Tom’s outfit of choice, “Like you’re going to church.”

Tom frowns instantly and points to the seatbelt that Tommy had neglected when he got into the car. “I like to dress professionally when I’m around my clients.”

Tommy scoffs and flicks at Zutaut’s arm lightly, “It’s a party Tom. Who the fuck wears a cardigan to a rock n’ roll signing party?”

“California is chilly at night! You’ll be begging for this cardigan later on!” Tom protests and Tommy laughs.

“Hos don’t get cold Zutaut. All you had to wear was jeans and a t-shirt and it would have been better than this. At least take off the cardigan and roll up your sleeves. You look like a goddamn missionary.”

“I’m regretting this already. They think I’m a loser Tommy!” Tom whines and even though it’s annoying, Tommy feels a little bad for the guy. So he resolves to do his best as Tom’s fake date for the night to get him noticed a little.

“Well, they won’t think that for long. That’s why you invited me, right?” Tom looks at the omega briefly before looking back quickly at the road, pulling into a long circular driveway and joining the line of cars waiting to be valeted. Tommy can hear the music already, something heavy and loud and it moves through him and makes him grin already.

Tom for his part looks sick and Tommy wants to bash his head in. What a night he’s in for. Okay, he thinks, time to at least set some ground rules.

“Listen Tom. I’m okay with letting people assume what they want to, alright? But if anyone blatantly asks what we are, you will tell them that we are friends. Okay?” Tommy speaks slowly so the other man doesn’t misunderstand through his nerves.

Tom’s face screws up unhappily, “But I thought-”

“I’ll walk in there with you. I’ll let you get me a drink, and I’ll let you put your arm around my waist while you introduce me to these guys that you signed but letting people think what they want to think and letting you blatantly say that you’re fucking me are two totally different things. I’m not playing that game. That’s where I draw the line, okay?” Tommy thinks that he’s being fair. Besides, being friends with a model is almost as good as scoring with one right? Maybe not, but that’s all Tom’s getting so, he should probably make his peace with it now.

Tom nods sulkily as he pulls his car up to the front, “Okay.”

Tommy sighs before putting a smile on his face when his door is opened for him. The house is monstrous, beautiful in that very in your face kind of way that Tommy doesn’t really care for. He’s been here once before, it’s Tom’s boss’ house, but the party that’s going on now is way rowdier than the last one he had attended here and Tommy feels his smile becoming more real. At least he’ll probably have fun tonight. All he has to do is meet Tom’s new clients and then hopefully he can go off and get drunk and act his normal foolish self when they lose interest and move on.

Tommy nearly startles when he feels an arm wrapping around his waist before he realizes that it’s just Tom and going by the look on the man’s face, Tommy is going to need to be the one to lead here. So he walks confidently up the sidewalk, dragging Tom along with the grip the other man has on his waist, and doesn’t even bother knocking on the door, pushing them open and walking inside like he owns the damn place.

“This is ridiculous.” Tom mutters under his breath so only Tommy can hear.

“This is awesome, Tom. Come on, at least try to have a little fun.” Tommy laughs happily, taking in the chaos that’s going on inside. The music is loud and aggressive and the lights are blued out in places and faintly strobing, enough to be special but not enough to be annoying, and twinkling white in others. There’s a sea of people dancing and Tommy spots a pool table in the room to the far right, a swimming pool visible through the glass walls with people fully dressed in it and surrounding it, and plush suede couches along the back wall.

Tommy has spotted at least a handful of musicians that he knows about, a half a dozen models he’s worked with, a couple of photographer’s and designers, and everyone else he has no idea.

“I need to find the guys!” Tom yells out to him, eyes darting around nervously. There’s a table to their left, one end empty while a bunch of guys play cards at the other end and Tommy sighs before hoisting himself up to sit on the edge.

“I’ll stay right here. You go ahead and get me a drink and bring whoever back that you want.” Tommy yells back. He crosses one long leg over the other and leans back just a little, weight resting on one arm that he props against the table a little behind him, taking note as one of the guys playing cards follows the movement with his eyes. Tommy gives him a coy smile and a wink just because he can as Tom nods and walks away.

The guy watching him from his card game looks at him curiously before grinning and getting up to walk over. He looks vaguely familiar to Tommy, with his long blonde hair, cute grin, and tall stature. It’s hard to tell people’s sub-gender’s in an environment like this, too many people in too close a proximity to really make anything out, but the man holds himself like an alpha.

He’s standing in front of Tommy before the omega has time to figure out where he knows the other man from and his grin is absolutely giddy as he looks at him.

“You’re Tommy Lee.”

Tommy blinks in surprise. It’s not like he doesn’t get recognized. He does occasionally, but people more often remember his face, they don’t really know his name.

“Umm, yeah, I am… How do you kno-”

“My lead singer is an absolute Gucci freak and your spread is literally one of his favorites. He has the photos posted up on his bunk wall on our tour bus.” The guy is laughing happily, sharing a conspiratorial look as he confides his friend’s secret and Tommy has to laugh along with him.

The omega shakes his head as he grins, “I really don’t know what to do with that information.”  

“Oh, tease the hell out of Axl when I bring him over to meet you, I hope. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have you all to myself, but he would literally, and I mean literally, kill me if he were to find out that I met you and didn’t go get him.” A lightbulb goes off in his head at the name Axl and suddenly Tommy knows exactly who he’s talking to.

The omega smiles at him, “Well, we can’t have that now can we?”

The blond beams again, holding his hand out for Tommy to take and shake, “Duff Mckagen.”

Tommy leans back again when he releases the man’s hand, “I know, I watched your music video on MTV the other day. Guns N’ Roses, right?”

Duff nods, scratching at the back of his head somewhat sheepishly, “Yeah? What did you think?”

Tommy just can’t resist the opportunity to tease, “Eh.”

Duff throws his head back and laughs and Tommy smiles at him when he leans in a little closer, “You don’t pull your punches do you sweetheart?”

Tommy’s grin turns sharp as he lowers his gaze and looks at the bassist through his eyelashes, “You have no idea.”

The blond haired alpha leans his hip against the side of the table, nearly pressed right against Tommy’s side and he brings a hand up to lightly grip at his chin, tilting it to meet his gaze as he gives a little smirk that’s definitely attractive on him, “Maybe I should risk death and forget about introducing you to Axl, don’t need him to whisk your attention away from me.”

“Tommy!”

The omega sighs and rolls his eyes at the questioning look Duff gives him. Tom is making his way back over but Tommy doesn’t see anyone with him so he figures that he’s free to keep flirting with the blond bassist as Tom presses a drink into his hand.

“Did you find them?” Tommy asks politely. Zutaut looks anxious as all hell, so Tommy feels the need to be nice to the man.

“Uh, yeah, they were right behind me? I guess they got side tracked, they’ll be here.” Tom says, eyes flitting over the crowd before finally realizing that he had company.

“Duff? Hey man.” Tom says, voice at a higher pitch than usual, and Tommy raises an eyebrow at the producer. God, no wonder his clients didn’t respect him. The man couldn’t even talk to a musician without losing his shit.

“Hey Zutaut. Are you here with…” Duff asks but trails off like the question is so ridiculous he can’t even finish it.

Tom is about to answer but Tommy is cutting him off with a glare, “Yes and no. He’s a friend that I’m doing a favor for.”

Tom looks a bit put out but Duff smiles again, arm draping around Tommy’s shoulders, “Good, I was about to be really bummed out.”

“Look out Zutaut! Duffie’s gonna steal your model if you aren’t careful!” An obnoxious voice calls out boisterously followed nearly immediately by a loud and startlingly familiar, “HOLY FUCK.”

Tommy freezes. His whole body feels like a block of lead and he all of a sudden can’t breathe because there’s no fucking way.  

There’s no fucking way that after a year, Vince Neil is at the same party as him. But then a softer and achingly recognizable, “Shit,” has him wanting to cry because that was definitely Mick’s voice. He feels cold all over and despite not wanting to look up, he just has to because he knows, if Vince and Mick are there together, someone else is probably there too.  

So he shifts his gaze to look directly in front of him and sure enough, he’s there. Vince is staring at him with the most shocked expression on his face, Mick is looking at him with something that looks apologetic but he’s barely aware of any of that because Nikki is standing behind them both with the most intensely indiscernible expression on his face, eyes locked onto Tommy’s face.

He looks so good. So damn good in black jeans that are cut up at the knees and a tank top that shows off his muscled arms that are littered with more tattoos than he remembers, hair still jet black but pushed off of his forehead so his gorgeous face is visible and Tommy wants to whine and reach out for him, the longing he feels in his heart wanting a physical expression.

“Hi Nikki.” Tommy manages to force out even though the words had felt stuck in his throat before dragging his eyes away from the dark haired bassist, “Vince, Mick.”

Tommy narrows his eyes at the fourth person, “I don’t know you.”

“Sammy doll face, drummer.” The man reaches a hand out to shake but Tommy ignores it. And yeah, that may be petty but considering the situation, the omega feels like his actions are pretty justified.

Instead he tips his head back and downs the full glass of whiskey that Tom had brought him while the producer asks, “Tommy, you know the guys?”

“Apparently.” Tommy glares at the man. Why the hell didn’t he say earlier that the band he had signed was Mötley Crüe? Why the fuck hadn’t Tommy asked who this fucking party was for.

“Tommy was actually our original drummer.” Mick sighs, probably trying to ease the awkward atmosphere that’s settled around the group.

Sammy laughs, “No shit?! What happened? Couldn’t take the heat doll face?”

Tommy growls and is about lay into the asshole when Nikki all of a sudden finds his voice, “No, I fucked it all up. It was my fault he left.”

The omega feels a sharp spike of pain shoot through him and it’s enough to make his eyes water and he tries to take a breath without being too obvious about the fact that he suddenly can’t seem to get enough air.

He unexpectedly feels Duff’s arm moves from his shoulder to around his waist, hand squeezing his hip gently and Tommy can see the way Nikki’s jaw clenches and his eyes narrow, “Hey, you alright?”

Tommy shakes his head, “I’m not drunk enough for this shit, come get me another drink.”

And with that Tommy is dragging Duff with him and away from the people, the person, who was supposed to stay in his past.

Tommy feels panic bubbling up in his chest as he walks away from the alpha, and he can’t help but think about the last time he did this, a little less than a year ago.

~May 22nd, 2018~

Tommy didn’t necessarily like his job. It was alright, most of the time, and the owner never minded if he sent free drinks to his boys whenever they would come in to wait until the end of his shift so they could go out.

But the patrons were fucking annoying. They constantly groped or made comments to him after they had too much to drink, and while Tommy could usually handle this with a smile that typically got him extra tips, sometimes it went a little too far and it just flat out made him uncomfortable.

The most annoying part of his job though, is the goddamn strippers who don’t seem to understand- even though Tommy has very clearly and explicitly spelled it out for them- that Nikki is fucking off limits. Several girls would often caress the bassist’s shoulders as they walked by or lean down to peck him on the cheek but that was usually just to tease Tommy and while it annoyed the hell out of him, it was all in good fun and at the end of the day he knew that they respected him enough to never actually cross the line.

All of them, except Mindy.

Fucking Mindy, with her stupid fucking ‘only appropriate for a stripper’ name, was constantly flying past the goddamn line. Tommy hated the nights that he worked with her because that meant that she would usually plant herself right in Nikki’s lap for a free dance. Tommy confronted her about it a couple of times and she always said the same damn thing.

“You’re not mated Tommy. Until you are, Nikki is fair game so fuck off.” Fucking blonde haired bimbo.

Mindy and her shitty behavior made him seethe, but what really troubled him about the whole thing was how Nikki would just sit there and let it happen. Tommy had told him before that it bothered him, but the handful of times they talked about it Nikki would just dismiss his concerns with a ‘she’s just doing her job babe, doesn’t mean anything’ or a ‘you know her type doesn’t do anything for me babe, I prefer tall, leggy brunettes’ before he would proceed to make Tommy forget whatever they had just been talking about.

Despite Nikki’s nonchalance at the whole situation, it continues to upset Tommy every time it happens. Besides just the instinctual surge of possession that it stirs up in him when he sees the skank grinding on his alpha, there’s also the hurt that Nikki doesn’t seem to care that it bothers him. He could get maybe that Nikki doesn’t understand that seeing him under another omega, in a place of business or not, makes him feel terribly insecure which is so far from the norm for Tommy it actually turns his stomach when it happens. But to Tommy, it should have just taken him telling Nikki that it upset him for the alpha to put a stop to the activity.

But he doesn’t, and tonight it’s worse than usual because Mindy stays in Nikki’s lap even after Tommy clocks out. This is unusual because she typically times it to steer clear of Tommy after the omega had growled at her when they bumped into each other backstage last month but tonight when he walks out of the back, she’s still there and Nikki is calmly taking a sip from a bottle of Jack as he talks to Vince who has a girl in his own lap.

Tommy feels an unbridled rage fill him when he sees it and he has half a mind to stomp over there, push the bitch off of Nikki’s lap and maybe even punch that handsome face that belonged to his boyfriend, but he figures physical violence would probably get him fired and wouldn’t exactly be healthy for his relationship

So he decides to get drunk instead and wait for Mindy to leave so he can go over there, drag Nikki home and scream at him until Nikki just gets it because this is ending, tonight.

He huffs angrily when he harshly sits himself down on a stool at the bar and glowers, even when the bartender gives him a sympathetic smile and a drink without him having to ask.

“Mindy at it again?” She asks.

Tommy looks at her with a storm brewing behind his eyes, “Do you have to ask?”

“I don’t get why he doesn’t just knock her on her ass. He can do that if she’s giving him a dance he’s not paying for.”

“That’s what I fucking said.” Tommy grumbles before knocking back his drink. He sighs as he spins the empty glass and is about to motion for another one when the red haired beta behind the counter is passing another drink into his hands.

He gives her a grateful look but she shakes her head at him, “That one’s not from me honey.”

She points a little ways down the bar and a man that Tommy recognizes from his rotation is waving at him with a little half smile. He’s attractive, objectively. He’s a little shorter than Tommy which isn’t surprising, most people are, but he’s built well and he must be some sort of Hispanic because his skin is tanned cinnamon and his short hair is thick and a deep dark brown just like his eyes. Tommy is a little surprised and he’s waving back as he takes a sip from the drink. Apparently the guy takes that as an invitation because he’s walking over immediately.

He’s sliding to stand against the bar right next to where Tommy is sitting and the drummer’s eyes widen at how close the other man is so suddenly.

“So, I’m guessing since you’re drinking that means that your off?” The guy has a nice smile, Tommy will give him that. And he smells pretty good, obviously an alpha and like strong coffee. But this is really not anything that Tommy is interested in.

“What an intelligent observation. Give the guy a prize.” Tommy rolls his eyes. Yeah, that was a little bitchy but he’s mad, and upset, so sue him.

The guy’s smile stays firmly stretched across his face though, brown eyes lit up in amusement, “Ouch.”

Tommy snorts a laugh at the guy’s determination not to be deterred by his obviously pissy mood, “Sorry, you just really caught me at a bad time. I’m taken anyway.”

The omega looks back to check on Nikki and practically growls in frustration when he see Mindy still seated on his alpha’s lap. When the fuck does she get off work anyway?

The alpha at his side leans around him to follow his gaze and raises an eyebrow when Tommy meets his eyes again, “Is that who you’re taken by?”

Tommy bristles at the judgment he hears in the man’s voice and finishes his drink quickly, not minding in the least when the alpha motions for another round from the bartender.

“Didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just, how much of a moron is he if he has someone like you waiting for him and he’s wasting his time with that dime a dozen slut?” The guy snorts and presses the glass of another drink into Tommy’s hands.

And well, wasn’t that just the most dangerously right thing for him to have said.

Tommy watches as the guy smiles again, obviously amused that Tommy is so shocked by what he just said, “I’m Gabe.”

“Tommy.” The drummer answers almost unthinking, “And he may be a moron but I’m, unfortunately at the moment, in love with him so if you could not insult him, I’d appreciate it.”

Gabe shakes his head incredulously, “You’re really something else. Really irritates me that you’re not available. Well Tommy, I have a proposition for you if you’re interested.”

“This ought to be good. Go ahead.” Tommy smiles in amusement. He wasn’t doing anything else at the moment. Just waiting for a slut to get off of his boyfriend. No big deal. He had time to waste.

The smile across Gabe’s face morphs into a smirk and he takes a step further into Tommy’s space so that he’s very nearly knocking knees with him, “I’m just going to throw it out there that I am totally okay with you using me to give your guy over there a taste of his own medicine. Like, completely okay with it, down right on board to flirt with you for a while until he learns his lesson.”

Tommy’s laughing even though he doesn’t want to. From the corner of his eye he sees Mindy finally get off of Nikki’s lap and even though Nikki looks completely unbothered by her absence, head turning this way and that, obviously looking for Tommy, the omega is still incredibly angry and upset and maybe a little tipsy. Liquor doesn’t typically hit him this hard but three drinks so fast on an empty stomach while he’s tired from a shift obviously have had more of an effect than usual.

And Gabe is nice and funny, and Tommy really wants to just make Nikki understand how he’s been feeling. His head is screaming ‘bad idea, bad idea, bad idea’ but the pain in his heart just says ‘fuck off, we’re doing this’ and he’s spreading his legs just enough for the alpha to push just a little bit closer. It’s nothing explicit really, the man is just standing in the space between his knees, nowhere nears his thighs or his hips, but the suggestion is there and Tommy looks up at the other man, “And what lesson would that be?”

Gabe is still smiling but his eyes are serious when he lifts a hand to sweep his fingers through the curls that frame Tommy’s face, “That you’re a fucking knock out, and if he isn’t careful, someone will definitely sweep in to take you away.”

Tommy laughs softly, no fucking way was anyone taking him away from Nikki, but he’s flattered all the same, “You really are pretty fucking smooth, if I wasn’t-”

“Tommy.”

The sound of Nikki’s voice, pitched low and warning, has Tommy jerking away from Gabe so fast he nearly gets whiplash. He also teeters precariously on the stool at the movement and he feels Gabe place his hands on his waist to steady him so he doesn’t fall but the deep, loud growl that Nikki lets out has Gabe’s hands flying away in a flash.

Tommy faces Nikki fully then and the alpha looks like a force of nature standing there, body tense and eyes dark, jaw and fists clenched, looking for all intents and purposes that he’s seconds away from lunging at the alpha that’s standing so close to Tommy.

“We’re going home now Tommy.”

Nikki’s tone leaves no room for argument but Tommy still rolls his eyes and out of spite, because how dare Nikki sit there for like an hour with a stripper in his lap and then get this angry over a few minutes of harmless flirting, he turns back to Gabe as he stands up and says, “Thanks for the drinks, and the company.”

Tommy can practically hear Nikki’s teeth grinding when Gabe beams at him, “Anytime sweetheart.”

Nikki is gripping his hand then and pulling them rapidly toward the door but Gabe catches up with them, apparently unable to resist fucking with Nikki’s head one more time, and presses a napkin into Tommy’s hand, “Just in case you ever find yourself unattached.”

They’re out the door in a flash after that and Tommy throws the napkin with what he expects is Gabe’s phone number scribbled on it away. He knows Nikki sees him do it but it does little to calm the older man down as he pulls Tommy quickly down the street, dropping his hand when they approach their apartment and taking the stairs two at a time, leaving the door open for Tommy to shut.

As soon as the lock clicks into place, Nikki is speaking, and his tone is so raw and angry that Tommy is actually startled.

“What the fuck was that Tommy?” Nikki’s eyes are stone cold as he looks at him from across the living room.

Tommy is quiet for a minute because this is a little more intense than he had thought it would be. He figured Nikki would be pissed and they would scream at each other before falling together into angry passionate sex to relieve the frustration and then kiss and whisper apologies into each other’s skin afterwards. That was what was typical for them, both running a little too hot and energy just too high between them to argue quietly or passive aggressively.

Though, Tommy thinks a little guiltily, flirting with Gabe was some pretty passive aggressive shit on his part but no! Fuck this, this whole thing started because of Nikki’s shitty behavior and lack of regard for his feelings so he doesn’t get to stand there on the offensive and make Tommy feel bad. Fuck that.

“Oh fuck off Nikki, you’re not seriously going to stand there and question me over a little fucking flirting are you?” Tommy crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the alpha, not backing down and rearing to tear into him over this finally.

“A little fucking flirting? The guy was between your fucking legs and looked to be about one fucking drink from getting you into bed with him.” Nikki snarks at him cruelly.

Tommy narrows his eyes further and snarls back, “I would never have done that Nikki, thanks for the fucking vote of confidence though. It’s absolutely fucking mind blowing that you can stand there and call me a whore for letting another man barely touch me when you literally just spent an hour my with coworker’s ass grinding on your dick.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, is this coming up fucking again?! She’s a fucking stripper Tommy, that’s what she fucking does for a living.” Nikki has the audacity to look annoyed now and Tommy growls at the alpha for still being so stupid.

“No, this is ending fucking tonight because I am so sick of you just not fucking comprehending this. She’s not fucking accepting payment from you for those fucking dances Nikki. That means she’s doing it because she fucking wants you and you fucking entertain her, while I’m literally feet away working, you selfish, cold fucking dick! What fucking part of this confuses you? It would have been no different if I had pushed that fucking guy into a seat and rode him in the middle of the fucking room. And you do this every fucking week! Fuck! Maybe I should have kept his fucking number, as least he had the damn sense to see that I was more worth his time than a fucking stripper!” Tommy fumes, and yeah, that was a little harder than he typically goes but he needs to get this through Nikki’s skull right fucking now.

Nikki’s pale green eyes are ice right now, hardening the more Tommy lays into him, but Tommy can see the wild panic that shoots through them when he mentions keeping Gabe’s number. Tommy knows that this isn’t good, he knows that Nikki has abandonment issues from how he grew up and fear makes Nikki do irrational, terrible things and he immediately wants to de-escalate the situation but then Nikki is speaking again and his tone is nothing short of disgusted when he says, “Are you really that fucking insecure?”

It’s like a sharp slap to the face and Tommy feels his control of the situation slipping through his fingers, knows that Nikki has none to speak of either and this is spiraling much further than it needed to.

He tries to soften his approach and weakly says, “Nikki…”

But it’s too late for that now, fear and pain and panic have a hold on Nikki now and the older man is backing away from him then and shaking his head, not even screaming but voice still cutting into Tommy’s heart when he continues his assault, “I should have fucking knew that you were too immature to handle this Tommy. What kind of a juvenile fucking slut tries to fuck with another guy just to make their boyfriend jealous over a few fucking lap dances?”

Tommy bites his lip to try to stifle the whimper the wants to come out because Nikki doesn’t usually speak to him like this. They scream and curse and they’ll insult each other but it’s always general, this, this is personal and he feels like he’s going to cry, eyes watering but doing his best to clear his expression and stop this before it goes too far to fix, “Nikki, baby, please…”

Nikki shakes his head, “Who fucking fucks up their relationship because of some stupid insecurity? A fucking kid does that Tommy, it’s fucking pathetic.”

Tommy takes in a shuddering breath, “Nikki stop, just stop!”

“This is the fucking life Tommy. This is being a goddamn rock star. This is what we fucking wanted. If you can’t handle a few fucking strippers without thinking that I want them more than I want you then we should just fucking end this now before you bring us all down with your goddamn pathetic insecurities. I don’t want anything to do with someone like that.”

Tommy feels a shattering pain in his chest and distantly hears a small broken whimper that he’s startled to realize has come from him. He can feel the warmth and wetness of his tears finally falling down his cheeks and Nikki is looking at him with what looks like immediate regret mixed up with the anger and the fear but Tommy can’t analyze that look, he can’t stay there for one more fucking minute and he’s running out of the apartment as fast as his long legs can take him, heart breaking all the more when he realizes that Nikki isn’t coming after him.

He ends up on a friend’s couch that night, and after several nights with no word from Nikki, he supposes that the set-up is permanent. He feels broken, unable to get himself to do the simplest of things, and as the days go by it doesn’t get any easier. He spends his nights curled up on the couch in physical pain from missing the older man so damn much. Everything in him wants to call Nikki. If he wants to fix this, he needs to be the one to do it because he knows that Nikki is probably buried too deep in a hole of self-loathing to even think that this is repairable. But every time he goes to press the alpha’s number into his phone he hears those terrible things he had said to him and he physically recoils from the slim possibility that Nikki actually meant them.

His friends go get his stuff from the apartment. Vince and Mick try calling him and texting but he can’t read them after the first few glances revealed Nikki’s name so he blocks all of their numbers, the last of Tommy Lee, drummer of Mötley Crüe, dying as he presses the delete button on Nikki’s contact information.

~May 15th, 2019~

Tommy all but collapses again the counter top when they reach the kitchen and Duff has the common sense to move them a little further into a more secluded corner, away from most of the people who are milling in and out of the room.

The omega is grateful to him because he feels like he’s about to have a panic attack, and wow, he’s never had one of those before. But Duff presses into his space, cupping his face to push his hair back so that Tommy focuses on his face.

“Hey, hey, Tommy, look at me okay? Focus on me, I need you to try to breathe a little more deeply okay? Just slow down a little bit okay?”

Tommy feels his breathing even out a little bit, still a little shaky but not nearly as gasping as he had been. He pulls back from the other man and leans against the glass door that leads to the balcony, the cold seeping through his shirt at his shoulder blades and grounding him.

Duff gives him a minute to calm down, but when Tommy is lucid enough to clearly meet his eyes, he’s raising an eyebrow, “So….”

Tommy groans and covers his eyes with his hands before resolutely dragging them through his hair.

“I’m guessing you and Sixx have history then.” Duff says gently, settling against the door next to Tommy.

Tommy closes his eyes and feels the words sink into his brain. History. Images of Nikki grabbing him around the waist, the both of them giggling loudly as they dance crazy and wild in the living room, of Nikki wrapping his arms around his waist from behind randomly and pressing his lips to his shoulder softly to inhale his scent, flash before his eyes and he walks to the table where the liquor is. He grabs the first thing he sees, a bottle of vodka in an ice bucket and unscrews it to take a gulp as he stands there.

Duff nods, “Yeah, definitely history. Shit, I knew Sixx was fucked up over someone, never imagined it would be over Tommy fucking Lee.”

Tommy whips his head around to stare at the blond haired alpha, “What do you mean?”

“Dude, Nikki has been a damn mess ever since I met him. We didn’t know what his deal was, you know? Because he doesn’t do the typical rock star shit, like yeah, he drinks like no one I have ever seen and he’ll take a bump every now and again and he smokes weed whenever you offer but the whole one night stand, fucking groupies, going to strip clubs, all that other shit, he wants nothing to do with. We couldn’t believe it because Nikki Sixx is one crazy mother fucker, we thought for sure that he would have a constant rotation of omega’s and beta’s but he was never with anyone. So we asked Sammy because he’s the only one who will talk about it and he said that Sixx fucked up his shot with his true mate and he hasn’t been interested in anyone since. Guessing that was you.”

Tommy bites his lip, taking in the information and feeling his heart hurt at the thought of his alpha in pain over him. “We were always, we were always so intense you know?”

Duff doesn’t say anything, just nods and listens like he knows that Tommy needs to just talk it out.

“It was immediate, like a gasoline fire, coming to life so fucking fast but it just never, it never burned out. I think we almost half expected it to, that’s why we took a couple weeks to acknowledge it but it just never went away. Not after we confessed, not after we got together, not even after months of being a couple. It was incredible because it meant that everything was so passionate, everything was electric and so fulfilling but it was a double edged sword because when we fought, Christ, we fought hard. That’s what did it, a stupid fucking fight we should never have gotten into. He said some things, I said some terrible shit back, and then he said some really terrible shit and it just spiraled out of control until we broke and neither of us could bring ourselves out of our heart break to try to repair it.”

Duff watches Tommy as he takes another pull from the vodka bottle, his eyes are closed, brown waves still falling softly around his face and every inch of him screams longing. Sixx is a fucking lucky guy.

“You still love him.”

Tommy lowers the vodka bottle and opens his eyes and the look he gives Duff, the sad little smile, is heartbreaking, “Of course I still love him. He’s my true mate. I knew it from that very first night we met in that dingy little fucking diner.”

Duff is nodding suddenly, and it confuses Tommy because the blond alpha looks resolute as he says, “Why don’t we get some air? You go wait out there on the balcony and I’ll be right back, I’m just going tell Zutaut that you’re okay and you’re calming down so he doesn’t come bothering you.”

Tommy finds himself nodding along gently, some air would be nice and there weren’t any people out there on the balcony. So he slides the glass door open as Duff walks out of the kitchen and closes it behind him.

Zutaut had been right, California does get chilly at night but Tommy has lived here all his life and he embraces it happily. It feels nice against his stress heated skin and he walks over to lean his elbows on the wide stone railing and look out over the garden.

He’s taking another long sip from his vodka bottle when he hears the door behind him slide open and shut again and he turns around as he says, “Well that didn’t take too long.”

But it isn’t Duff standing there just a few feet away from him. Of course it isn’t. Because life isn’t fair like that and it doesn’t care what Tommy thinks he wants, it only cares about what he needs.

Which is why Nikki stands there like one of Tommy’s damn dreams. Tommy is quiet as he drinks in the sight of the alpha in front of him, eyes tracking over the familiarities of his features and noting the changes, how his body seems broader, muscles thicker than just a year ago but his face and his eyes are looking at Tommy like they always used to, with that damn expression that made Tommy feel like the most important thing in the whole damn world to Nikki.

It makes him angry.

“What do you want Sixx, I’m trying to drink myself into a stupor here.” Tommy says as he turns his back to the man so he wouldn’t have to see his eyes anymore.

“Tommy.”

The omega fucking flinches at the sound of his name like that. Nikki didn’t speak it so much as breathed it reverently, and he needed to shut that shit down right now.

“Don’t say my name like that.” Tommy snaps at him, whirling back around to face his past head on. Nikki is looking at with a determined expression that literally scares the hell out of Tommy, the omega’s eyes widening when Nikki starts walking towards him.

“Stay the fuck away from me Sixx.” Tommy warns him, but his voice is nowhere near as strong as he wants it to be, cracking underneath the weight of his emotions as Nikki gets closer to him.

Nikki just shakes his head and simply says, “No baby.”  

There are tears in Tommy’s eyes again at the pet name and he’s weakly demanding, “Don’t fucking call me that.”

But Nikki is right on top of him then and his arms are wrapping around Tommy like they belong there, one going around his waist to pull him close and the other coming up to bury his fingers in Tommy’s hair and cradle the back of his head as the omega melts into him with a sob, face buried in Nikki’s neck.

Nikki is pressing gentle kisses into his hair but he’s breathing harshly and Tommy can feel tears dropping to land on his shoulder but he’s sobbing too, shoulders shaking with his hands against Nikki’s chest, the alpha’s heart beating so fucking fast as he talks, “I know, fucking hell, baby, I know, should have done this that night, I was so stupid, Jesus Christ Tommy, baby.”

Tommy cries soften at that, just enough for him to stammer out, “What the fuck happened? What the hell happened to us?”

Nikki is pulling back just enough to look into Tommy’s face and his cheeks are wet with tears when he shakes his head again, “It was me baby. It was all fucking me. I got, I was so caught up in portraying this image of what I thought I should be and I let it get way too fucking out of hand. Fuck Tommy, I was so fucking disrespectful towards you, I should never have even let that slut come near me, let alone… fuck and even then I should have stopped it the minute you said it upset you.”

Tommy looks away to the side, his own guilt eating him up until he says, “I shouldn’t have flirted with that guy in the bar that night. It was fucking petty and I knew it was a bad idea, I was just so mad and upset and I-”

Nikki cups the side of Tommy’s face gently with one hand to turn it back to meet his gaze, calloused thumb swiping over his cheekbone to brush the tears away as they continue to fall, “You had every fucking right to do whatever you could to try to get me to see how much I was hurting you Tommy. When I saw you with him, fuck I had already been drinking and that just sent me into a rage and when I got closer and heard him fucking say that shit about taking you away from me, I just lost control for the rest of the night. I was so scared Tommy, I was so fucking scared of that happening, you have no damn idea because I knew, I knew I wasn’t good enough for you. I let that fear and my own damn fucking ego influence me and I didn’t mean a goddamn thing I said to you that night baby. If nothing else, I need you to know that. I didn’t mean a single word.”

Tommy lets the words fall over him and feels his heart break all over again at how they had let something like this ruin them, keeping his eyes locked with Nikki’s when he asks something that has kept him awake for many nights over the past year, “Why didn’t you come after me? Why didn’t you call? I was waiting for you Nikki. Do you know how much I fucking tortured myself with wanting to call but refusing to because I thought that maybe you didn’t want me around anymore? Part of me knew you still loved me, part of me knew that it was just a stupid fucking fight that got out of hand but as soon as that part of me would convince me to call, I would think about what you said and I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand the thought, the possibility that maybe that was really how you felt.”

Nikki makes a pained sound in the back of his throat, more tears tracking softly down his face as he presses his forehead into Tommy’s and the omega can’t help how his hands curl over the sides of his neck, Nikki’s pain a reflection of his own.

“I’m sorry Tommy. I’m so absolutely and completely fucking sorry. I was the moment I finished talking but the look on your face...”

Nikki suddenly releases the grip he has on Tommy and the omega feels the loss of contact in the form of a physical pain as the other man take a few steps away and looks out over the railing, “I didn’t fucking deserve you Tommy. I don’t deserve you. The expression on your face that night before you ran out the door, I did that. That was my fault, I made you feel like that and that fucking haunted me. I couldn’t call you, I was afraid that if I did, if you came back, I would do something to put that expression back on your face again eventually. You were better off without me.”

Tommy bites his lip softly. There were a million ways that he could respond to that and initially he wants to yell at Nikki that he’s a fucking idiot because not only was that completely untrue, that also wasn’t Nikki’s choice to make. But he knows Nikki, he knows him so well and being back in his arms, even as stressful and brief as it had been, has brought back in stark relief just how desperately Tommy had missed him.

“You never got it Sixx. You could never quite understand that you’re not the bad guy.”

Nikki shifts his gaze back to Tommy quickly, eyes wide and mouth open like he wants to protest but Tommy doesn’t give him the opportunity, “You’ve never been the bad guy Nikki. No matter what you think about yourself, it’s just not the truth. You try to be sometimes, but you can’t quite manage to be what you seem to think you are. Better off without you? I was fucking miserable every damn day. You hurt me that night Nik, but I hurt you too. You don’t carry the responsibility for where we are now alone.”

The alpha shakes his head, about to respond when the doors to the balcony are suddenly thrown open, a drunken couple practically falling through the doors before crowding themselves against the railing to make out without even a glance to see who was around them.

Tommy has to let out a breathy laugh as he wipes at the tear tracks on his cheeks. He remembers when he and Nikki used to be like that, their passion consuming any sense of shame or modesty. Nikki must be thinking the same thing because he’s looking at Tommy with a wistful little smile.

“Not exactly the best setting to have this conversation I guess.” Nikki sighs gently, moving a little closer to Tommy now to keep their words private.

Tommy shakes his head, wrapping his arms around himself, unsure of what to say or do now that the emotionally charged moment has been broken.

Nikki reaches a hand up to sweep through his hair, pushing it back off his face before he grimaces, obviously at war with what he’s about to say but forcing the words out anyway, “Do you want to go back to the party? It looked like you were having fun before, with… with Duff.”

Tommy can see how the statement hurts him to say, can see how hard Nikki is trying to respect that Tommy isn’t his anymore and not get possessive but Tommy doesn’t want to go back to the party. He doesn’t want to go back to flirting with Duff and pretending like Nikki is just another person in the room, like they weren’t still desperate for each other.

Tommy didn’t know a lot right now, he was confused and overwhelmed but if there was one thing he knew with certainty it was that he had never stopped loving Nikki. Even just standing here next to the alpha after everything that had happened over the last year has Tommy feeling like something in him is finally settling back into place, a warmth reawakening that piece of him that had been dormant without his bassist.

If they were going to fix this, if they had a second chance, it wasn’t going to happen with them parting ways here and acting like nothing had happened for the rest of the night.

So Tommy shakes his head, “I don’t want to go back to the party Nikki…”

The bassist lets out a long exhale, relief clear on his face before hesitating. It’s new to Tommy, to see Nikki acting so cautious, so careful and unsure.

“I could drive you home? We could talk a little more in the car, if you want?”

“It’s your party Nikki. Fuck, you guys got signed! You should stay and enjoy it.” Tommy is earnest when he says it, despite wanting nothing more than to continue talking. He doesn’t know what’s going to come of this, if it’s closure that he’s after or maybe something more, the idea of a second chance settling dangerously in his mind and in his heart the more Nikki looks at him. But just because he isn’t exactly in a party mood anymore doesn’t mean that Nikki shouldn’t stay and celebrate.

But Nikki’s lips pull into that smile that always leaves Tommy a little breathless, the alpha reaching towards him to sweep some of the curls around Tommy’s face back behind his ear, “Like I give a fuck about anything else in the world when I have the chance to stay with you just a little bit longer.”

“Nikki…” Tommy whispers his name so softly, like he couldn’t help himself, it makes Nikki shudder to hear it from the omega’s lips.

“Let me drive you home Tommy, please?” Nikki is almost begging at this point and he looks completely unbothered by this fact. So okay with pleading for just a few more minutes of his time that Tommy is nodding without even thinking about it.

“Yeah, okay. Okay Nik.”

The dark haired bassist nods in acceptance, hand coming down to rest against the small of his back and lead him through the doors. Tommy sets the bottle of vodka he had swiped back on the counter top as they move through the kitchen, not needing it as much as he had when he walked away from Nikki earlier that night.

Nikki’s hand is warm against his lower back and it lights him up in a way he hasn’t felt in the past year. Such simple contact, such a simple touch but even so, it’s eliciting more passion from him than the entire experience of the four one night stands he has had over the past year. It’s deliciously distracting, so much so that Tommy barely notices his surroundings as they move through the house, not even acknowledging anyone who calls out to him and Nikki is much the same, moving at a steady pace with single minded determination.

The valet brings Nikki’s car so fast that they barely get the opportunity to even look at each other, eyes meeting shyly and cautiously. Tommy grins when the car pulls up. He knows nearly nothing about cars, but he recognizes the sleek black vehicle as one that Nikki used to go on and on about when they were together.

Nikki notices his eyes light up in recognition and laughs softly, “My signing bonus was well spent, yeah?”

Tommy laughs along with him, suddenly so happy for the other man. He knows that Nikki’s upbringing was tumultuous, between his neglectful mother and living poor with his grandparents. Being able to buy something that he had dreamed about for years, owning something that, was absolutely incredible.

“That’s a fucking understatement.” Tommy teases as Nikki insists on opening his door instead of the valet attendant.

Nikki slides into the driver’s seat and as soon as he starts the car, the engine roaring to life, heat shoots through Tommy so abruptly he nearly gasps. Nikki just looks so good like this, just as fucking gorgeous as he always was and the whole scenario is suddenly crashing into Tommy’s head like a wave. If they hadn’t been so stupid that night, if either of them had just been brave enough to reach out sooner, Tommy would have seen this on the regular. He’d have probably been there when Nikki went to purchase the damn car in the first place.

If the past year hadn’t happened, Tommy would be able to do something about the lust rushing through him at the sight of Nikki right now. Tommy blushes when he realizes that he probably wouldn’t have hesitated to do exactly what he wanted, how he would have undone his seatbelt so he could lean over far enough to bury his face in Nikki’s lap, how he would have pressed kisses to Nikki’s length through the material of his jeans until Nikki would growl at him like he used to when he would tease. How he would have continued to go much further than that.

Nikki is inhaling sharply suddenly and the sound has Tommy blinking away the daze that he had been in just in time to hear what Nikki says, “Tommy, baby, whatever you’re thinking about, please stop.”

Tommy’s blush deepens when he realizes that sometime during his heated daze he had gotten wet. Jesus Christ, has anyone ever been able to wind him up like that just by sitting in the damn driver’s seat of a fucking car?

“Sorry…” Tommy says quietly in embarrassment and Nikki turns to him sharply, eyes dark and serious.

“Don’t ever be sorry for that Tommy. Fuck, I’m so deliriously happy that you even still… fuck, that you even want me like that. I just, you smell so fucking good babe and it’s making it really difficult to control myself and I don’t think it’s going to help us talk about everything we need to talk about if I jump you right here in my car.”

Tommy shivers, a small part of him wanting to encourage Nikki to do just that, but he was right. They had a lot to work out before coming close to that point.

So he takes a deep breath, trying to cool down a little bit and decides to tease the older man to break the tension, “You’re right Nikki, it’s just, it’s a really fucking nice car.”

The alpha laughs at that, the sound just as boisterous as Tommy remembered and it has him laughing too. Nikki quiets down to a chuckle and brings up the navigation screen.

“What’s your address babe?” Nikki asks and Tommy leans forward to put the address in, looking at the estimated time of 25 minutes and then Nikki is grinning.

“Want to see how much we can beat that time by?” Nikki challenges, voice mischievous as the engine revs and Tommy feels a tingle of excitement creep into his chest.

“Trying to impress me Nik?” Tommy asks, brown eyes bright as he looks into Nikki’s pale green ones.

Nikki grins, “Fucking always babe.”

Tommy doesn’t even have time to respond after that because he’s letting out a small surprised yelp as Nikki floors it and takes the fuck off. He hears the alpha chuckling again and he reaches out to slap his arm for scaring him but he’s laughing anyway too.

It’s so easy. So ridiculously easy falling back into the fun, playful flirting. This was how it was supposed to be, the two of them laughing as Nikki sped down the streets of Los Angeles with Tommy encouraging him to go faster, music blasting out of open windows and by the time they pull into an open space on the street outside of Tommy’s apartment, a full ten minutes faster than their navigation had said, both of their cheeks hurt from smiling.

Tommy knows his hair is an absolute wreck from the wind but Nikki’s eyes are moving over him after they park and sit there for a minute, and Tommy feels more stunning with the bassist staring at him with that look in his eyes than he does glammed out in front of the camera for work.

“I always loved when you looked at me like that.”

The words are escaping his lips before Tommy has a chance to pull them back but Nikki smiles at him softly, “Like what?”

Tommy looks down briefly, biting his lip as he thinks about it before deciding to just say it, “Like you think I’m the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.”

Nikki’s smile grows, his eyes still warm and intense as he stares at him, “I always look at you like that.”

Tommy nods and exhales a shaky breath, “I know.”

Nikki reaches out slowly, giving Tommy time to stop him if he wants to as he cups his cheek in his hand, thumb rubbing softly over his cheekbones, “We didn’t really talk like we were supposed to.”

Tommy leans into the caress, eyes closing as he thinks over what he wants to do. He knows most people in his position would do the logical thing, the safe thing. They would tell Nikki that they can meet up tomorrow or whenever they both had free time. They would take this slow, take the time to heal together before moving on to maybe try a relationship again.

Tommy opens his eyes, knowing exactly what he wants to say.

“You could come up? To talk now, if you want.” Tommy has never been most people.

Nikki is looking at him searchingly, silent for a minute as he takes his hand away before nodding.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s talk.”

They’re quiet as Tommy scans his key card to let them into the lobby and they wait for an elevator. Nikki is looking around curiously, trying to acquaint himself with this new aspect of Tommy’s life that he missed out on.

Tommy likes his apartment. He could afford something bigger if he really wanted, but he never really felt the need for more when it was just him. A part of him reasons that maybe he just didn’t have the enthusiasm over the past year that he once did and that was why he didn’t necessarily care about having fun with his money. But still, he lived in a nice area and the building had been an old 1940’s hotel that had been renovated into apartments. His own unit is nice, with tall ceilings and massive windows that give a stunning view of the city but with that interesting old world charm that makes it unique. When they make it to the peak floor nine stories up and Tommy opens his front door, Nikki grins wide and nods to himself in some sort of approval.

“I love it T, not something I’d expect from a Gucci model but I absolutely fucking love it.”

Tommy blushes as he throws his keys and phone onto the small table by the door and takes his shoes off to get more comfortable, “Oh, you saw that huh?”

Nikki surprises him by blushing too, the older man toeing his own shoes off to match Tommy, “Uh, yeah, well... I don’t want to say that I stalked you on social media for the last six months but that’s kind of exactly what I was doing I guess.”

“Oh.” Tommy says quietly, and Nikki would be worried but the omega has a small little smile on his face.

“Yeah.” Nikki exhales, looking around as they stand in the front entrance of Tommy’s apartment.

Tommy feels nerves flood him suddenly. It was easier in the car when they had something fun to distract them but there’s something much more intimate about having Nikki in his apartment. He had tried to completely erase any sign of Nikki from his life when he had left and now the man was here, standing barefoot in his home.

He takes a shaky breath and moves to the open kitchen, needing an outlet for his nervous energy, already opening up cabinets and getting glasses down as he asks, “Do you want anything? I mean, I haven’t restocked my liquor but I have wine that someone left here if you want some.”

Tommy nearly screams when he feels hands touch his waist softly to settle and turn him around.

“Wine is good T, why don’t you sit down and I’ll get it?” Nikki asks him slowly, obviously trying to calm him down a little bit.

Tommy nods and follows Nikki’s suggestion, sitting himself down on the couch and taking a few deep breaths until Nikki hands him a glass of some sort of white wine, sitting the bottle on the coffee table and sitting down himself a respectful distance away. Tommy doesn’t know if he wishes he would move closer or further. Not sure what would settle his nerves better.

They drink quietly for a few minutes, trying to figure out where to start. There’s so much Tommy wants to say and yet everything escapes him at the moment but he has to say something and a sudden thought lights up in his head.

“Duff said that you haven’t been with anyone in the past year.”

Tommy blushes when Nikki starts coughing on the sip of wine he was taking. And he can’t really blame him, of all the places to start, Tommy chooses that.

“He fucking told you that?” Nikki groans, hand coming up to cover his eyes in what seems to be mortification.

“Don’t be mad at him, he was trying to get me to calm down and I think he could sense that we, you know that we had history and was probably just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.” Tommy tried to sooth.

Nikki shakes his head and moves his hand but he keeps his eyes on the glass of wine in his hands, “He wasn’t.”

Tommy looks at the other man in confusion, body twisting to settle so that he’s angled towards the alpha, “He wasn’t what?”

Nikki sighs and moves so that he mirrors Tommy, looking him in the eyes again, “He wasn’t just telling you what you wanted to hear. I haven’t been with anyone in the past year.”

Tommy widens his eyes as he stares at the bassist incredulously, “Why?”

Nikki downs the rest of his wine and then sighs, “Tommy, you... you really have no idea how much it hurt me to lose you do you? I fucking, I hated myself. When you ran out, I wanted to follow you, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get myself to move because I was so fucking angry at myself and then you didn’t come back. You didn’t call, you didn’t text. You were always so much better than me with talking things out and expressing yourself and I was being selfish again by waiting for you to reach out but when you didn’t, I fucking lost it. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore, and I thought the only way I could do that was by staying away.”

“That was stupid.” Tommy replies heatedly, “We were both so fucking stupid.”

Nikki nods solemnly, “I know. I know that now. Seeing you sitting on that table, I swear, I think my breathing just stopped. My whole body stopped. Vince literally had to drag me forward. You were just there and so damn stunning, fuck Tommy, how could I have wanted anyone after you?”

Tommy feels his eyes watering but he can’t cry anymore tonight. He thinks back to the one night stands he had while trying to forget Nikki and he feels so guilty that he’s covering his face with his free hand to hide.

“Babe, Tommy, it’s okay baby.” Nikki is scooting closer to him and gently pulling his hand away. “It’s okay if you were with someone else. You didn’t owe me shit, and besides, I wouldn’t have wanted you to go through a heat by yourself.”

Tommy’s eyes widen again and frantically catch Nikki’s gaze because no, he absolutely can’t think that.

“I didn’t spend my heat with anyone Nikki. How in the absolute hell, that was never an option. I couldn’t, you… you’re the only alpha I ever want for my heat Nik.”

Nikki growls at that and the sounds sends shivers down Tommy’s spine and heat through his lower stomach. That sound was always one of Tommy’s favorites, it was just so primal, so deep and possessive that it never failed to get him hot and now is no exception.

Nikki swallows hard and lets go of Tommy’s hand, “I think I need to go baby.”

Tommy flat out whines at that, still caught up in the headspace that Nikki’s growl had sent him into but he comes out of it quickly enough, “Wait, what, but what are we…”

“Babe, I don’t want to leave. Trust me. But between what you just said and your earlier stunt in the car… I may not be a bad guy but I’m not a saint either baby and I’m really running out of self-control here and I’m trying to respect your space.”

Tommy frowns, heat still spreading through him at the blatant desire in Nikki’s eyes. He doesn’t want Nikki to leave. It’s such a sudden but desperate thought that Tommy is reaching forward and grabbing at Nikki’s hand, “Don’t leave.”

Nikki’s eyes soften and his fingers of his free hand rake through Tommy’s hair until it rests under his jaw, “Let me take you to dinner tomorrow.”

Tommy blinks in confusion, dizzy from how all the different directions this night has gone, “Huh?”

Nikki nods and smiles nervously at him, “Dinner T. You know, like a date. Or a pre-date, or just a get together between friends who may or may not pursue each romantically after a period of healing. Whatever you want it to be, this is totally up to you-”

Tommy laughs softly and nods just to put Nikki out of his misery, “It’s a date.”

Nikki laughs, “Okay. So it’s a date.”

Tommy smiles but then Nikki is pressing a sweet kiss to the fingers of the hand Tommy had used to grab his and getting up to walk to the door.

This is good, Tommy thinks. This is beyond anything he could have ever hoped for and really, to go one day without Nikki in his life to having a date with him the next day was far faster than most people would have moved were they in his situation so he should be satisfied. He should be okay with letting Nikki leave and then going to bed by himself. That’s healthy.

Tommy is moving before he even thinks about it, “Nikki.”

The alpha turns around just in time for Tommy to wrap his arms around his neck and press their lips together and the absolute sigh of relief that Nikki lets out makes Tommy melt, releasing his own desperate little noise when Nikki’s hands find their way to his hips automatically.

They part gently, arms still around each other tightly as they stare with half lidded eyes.

“Tommy…” Nikki groans, obviously still fighting with himself about giving Tommy more time.

The omega just nudges his nose against Nikki’s cheek softly, breathing in his scent, “Stay Nikki. I want you to stay.”

Nikki nudges Tommy’s cheek back before reconnecting their lips in a brief, sweet kiss. They part again and Nikki exhales loudly, “God, Tommy.”

Tommy feels delirious when Nikki surges forward to press him against the door, lips pressing harshly against his in desperation and Tommy feels more alive than he has all year.

Nikki groans at the absolute plushness of the omega’s lips, the feeling better than he could have ever imagined after an entire year apart. He pushes harder against Tommy’s lips, dragging his hands down his sides to grip at his waist and hold him as close as possible. When Tommy gasps he can feel it and Nikki can’t help himself from running his tongue over the omega’s full bottom lip, angling his head so he can lick into the drummer’s mouth.

Nikki feels his body burning, igniting all the more at the way Tommy whines into the kiss, the way his hands reach up again to tangle in his hair, until he feels drunk off the feeling, no whiskey needed, breaking the contact of their lips to trail kisses and nips along the omega’s jaw and down his neck, firmly licking at the scent gland just underneath his ear. The moan Tommy lets out is so loud and unexpectedly high pitched, but he couldn’t have held it in for anything. Nikki is here with him, he’s touching him just the way he loves and Tommy wants this, wants it so badly and that only becomes more true when Nikki growls his approval as a wave of arousal crashes through him.

He smells so sweet, so fresh, Nikki can’t get enough as he keeps licking and nipping at the gland until he starts to smell the heat of arousal thick around Tommy’s usual honey orange scent and that, that just sets him off even more.

His hands run firmly over Tommy’s hips until they come to a stop on his ass, squeezing both cheeks and the omega keens and pushes his hips up into Nikki’s, the alpha answering with an automatic roll of his own before he grips the backs of Tommy’s perfect fucking thighs, thankful for the natural strength that comes from being an alpha as he lifts him easily to wrap those sinfully long legs around his waist, hips pinning the drummer’s to the door.

The move surprises Tommy, body heating up even more at how effortlessly Nikki lifted him, thighs trembling around the bassist’s hips as he feels himself slicking up, getting wet because of the man he loves in between his legs. It’s straight out of a dream but so much better because it’s real and Tommy uses the grip he has on Nikki’s hair to tilt his face back up and kisses him desperately.

Nikki is sharply inhaling through his nose suddenly and he pulls back from the kiss to stare sharply into Tommy’s eyes, his own pale greens dark and wild and it makes Tommy whine to see him that way again. But the alpha shakes his head, rests his forehead against the drummer’s again.

“Is this too fast babe? Do I need to slow down because shit, I can fucking smell how wet you are and if we don’t stop now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to. Tell me, tell me what you want baby.” His voice is pitched so low and his cock throbs when he smells the slick Tommy is producing, struggling to keep his hips still as he flexes his hands around the omega’s thighs.

Tommy is shaking his head, hands carding through Nikki’s long black hair and pulling him back a little to look him in the face, “Don’t stop, Nikki, alpha, don’t stop please.”

Nikki groans, hips rocking forward against Tommy’s, grinding against him deliciously as his hands move back to grip the omega’s ass to hold him up more firmly.

“Don’t fucking stop,” Tommy is saying again, dragging his lips down Nikki’s neck, whimpering at the friction between his legs and the heavy forest rain scent that blossoms on his tongue when he licks over the alpha’s scent gland, giddy at the choked moan he gets as a reward. “It’s not, ah, it’s not too fast, it’s perfect. It’s right, it’s, fucking finally Sixx.”

Nikki feels his lips pull into a smile, “Fucking finally.”

Then he pulls Tommy against him roughly with the grip he has on his ass, making sure he has him secure in his arms before he pulls them away from the door.

Tommy’s legs tighten around his hips, arms around his shoulders, and the needy noise he makes in his throat is intoxicating.

“Don’t worry baby, I won’t drop you.” Nikki teases, thinking Tommy’s gasp and tight grip are from the fear of falling. He keeps them upright as Tommy hides his face in his neck, the omega’s hands moving from his shoulders to feel where the muscles are tight and flexed in his arms.

“I know you won’t, you’re so strong, my alpha.” Tommy calls him so breathlessly, it has Nikki walking back to press him up against the wall next to the door, surging forward to devour the youngers lips in a rough kiss, running his tongue over every surface in Tommy’s mouth. His hands drag along the omega’s legs wrapped around him, up and down his waist, everywhere.

“Tommy, Tommy, fuck, I know baby. I know exactly how you like it.” Nikki thrills, biting at the base of Tommy’s neck in an instinctive bout of possession. “You like that I can carry you around, like that I can move you, shape you however I want. I could hold you up and fuck you right here baby, and you’d fucking love it, wouldn’t you.”

Tommy keens, body burning, absolutely on fire. God, he loved this, always loved how Nikki would talk, Tommy can’t believe that he had forgotten this, but he can’t say those things and expect Tommy to be able to actually answer coherently.

“Come on baby, I want to hear you say it, need to hear what you want,” Nikki whispers lowly in his ear, one hand coming up to grip Tommy’s chin to force him to look at him. Nikki’s breath rushes out of him when he sees the omega’s face, the blush staining his cheeks, curly hair messy, big brown eyes dilated and lips kiss swollen. “Need you to tell me everything you like babe, want to hear everything, want to make it so good for you.”

Tommy moans when Nikki’s hips start moving again, the alpha staring into his eyes expectantly, and really, Nikki did such a wonderful job communicating tonight, so good at starting to bring them back together like they should be, he could do this now for the other man if it means that much.

So he nods, hands clenching on Nikki’s shoulders and nosing at his neck, “I like it Nikki, it’s so good, makes me feel so good, want more baby.”

“Fuck. I’ll give it to you babe, give you anything you want, always.” Nikki pulls him away from the wall and walks him through the kitchen and into the hallway before he stops, “Where do you want me babe? You’re bed, the wall, the floor, god wherever you want, I’m there.”

Tommy laughs at the question, Nikki grinning at the sound. But Tommy quiets after a few seconds and bites his lip, eyes hooded, small smirk growing along with some of his confidence. Nikki isn’t the only one who can tease.

The omega pulls lightly on the long black strands at the base of Nikki’s hairline, reveling in the groan the alpha lets out, the way his hands tighten on his ass, “My bed baby, want you to take me in my bed, want you to get your scent all over it and me, please, alpha.”

Nikki breaths in sharply, heat punching through his gut and he starts down the hall, kicking the door open that Tommy points to, “Don’t fucking push me Tommy. I’m struggling to control myself as it is.”

“Don’t,” Tommy gasps as Nikki drops him down onto the bed before kneeling between the omega’s spread legs. Nikki stops at the word, hands kneading into the younger boy’s thighs, but not moving down and Tommy realizes that he didn’t finish his sentence. He had gotten overwhelmed by the alpha’s scent surrounding him and the notion of having Nikki in his bed like this.

“Don’t control yourself Nik, I want it, I want you so bad, can fucking handle anything you give me.” Tommy reaches up and uses a hand on Nikki’s neck to pull himself up, arching his back to peck the alpha on the lips, “I can handle you, baby.”

Nikki’s growl comes from deep in his chest as he reaches out and pulls the black tee shirt off of Tommy swiftly before pushing him back down. Tommy’s a fucking perfect omega, so fucking beautiful just like Nikki remember, long slender limbs, flat stomach, small waist. Nikki eyes the small swell of his hips through the fishnet with hunger, hands yanking his own tank top over his head and throwing it off to the side before sinking down into the omega’s arms and attaching his mouth to Tommy’s collarbones, biting harshly to hear him yelp and then soothing the mark with soft licks, moving on to suck bruises into the line of his throat. His hands smooth up the soft skin of his sides until he gets to his chest, both thumbs rubbing at his nipples.

Tommy whines, long and needy as Nikki continues the assault on his chest, fingers pinching and pulling as he sits back to watch the omega squirm, “Fuck, yeah, you can handle me. I know you can babe, I remember, you’re going to be so good for me, already making me so fucking hard sweetheart.”

Nikki abandons one of his nipples to grab a hand that Tommy has thrown over his head, bringing it down and putting it on the bulge of his cock and even through the material of his jeans, the touch is heavenly.

“Feel that babe? That’s for you, you’re making your alpha so fucking hard because you’re so goddamn hot. Want you more than anything baby.”

Tommy can’t do much at this point but moan helplessly at the words, his hand rubs at Nikki’s cock through his jeans and the omega’s mouth waters because it’s so hard and feels so big in his hand, just like it always did.

“Shit, T.” Nikki groans, ducking back down to kiss him roughly, fast, before moving down to take a nipple into his mouth, sucking gently and flicking his tongue against it, loving the way Tommy arches it further into his mouth, hands attaching to Nikki’s hair, pulling lightly and whimpering so pretty for him.

Nikki continues to kiss his way down, sucks a bruise or two into his ribs and then busies himself with making hickies across his hips as he unbuttons and unzips the tight black jean still keeping him from seeing all of the drummer.

“Nikki, mmm, feels so good, come here, please, fuckin’ want to kiss you.” And really, Nikki doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to deny his drummer anything ever again, so he moves back up Tommy’s body and kisses him deep.

The alpha feels Tommy’s hands caressing down his chest and abs, fingers tracing the indents of the lean muscle, making him groan until the omega finally reaches his jeans, undoing his own button and opening the zipper, both struggling to push each other’s pants down while still staying connected in their kiss.

Eventually they break apart in giggles when it of course doesn’t work, then Nikki kisses Tommy quickly once more before moving off him and the bed and hurriedly removing his jeans and underwear in one smooth movement. He groans at the relief of his cock being free from the tightness of his pants and when he looks up Tommy is staring at him with so much desire in his eyes, tongue coming out to wet his lips, and Nikki knows that look. He remembers that look so fucking well, it has him letting out a heated moan.

He gets back on the bed quickly and pushes Tommy down where the boy was attempting to get up with a firm hand on his chest.

“Now, now babe,” Nikki says as Tommy whines at being pushed back down, “As much as I am dying to see those pretty lips around my cock, I really don’t think I’ll last as long as I want inside of you if you do that first.”

Tommy pouts and it makes Nikki huff out a laugh in surprise, “You can blow me after baby, promise. Right now I just need to get inside of you before I go crazy.”

The omega moans and nods in acceptance, “Okay, okay Nik, just please, hurry.”

Nikki’s hands drop back down to Tommy’s hips, pushing down below the material of his pants and peeling them off slowly, eyes never leaving the omega’s until they’re completely off. Nikki’s heart pounds as his eyes run over every inch of the younger boy below him, moving to settle on his haunches so he can look at all of him. He’s so pretty, so goddamn pretty. His cock is long and thin, curving up along his pelvis, long legs smooth and slender and covered in those goddamn fishnets that drive him crazy to look at. Nikki pushes the stockings down his legs mournfully, sad to see them go but his mouth waters when he sees Tommy’s thighs glistening with slick. With his pants removed, the sweet smell of it is even stronger and Nikki feels desperation move him to grab Tommy’s ankles and drag him further down the bed so Nikki can run his hands down his legs, wrap them around the underside of his thighs and push them back towards the omega’s chest.

Tommy moans loudly at the rough action, feeling another wave of slick gush out of him at the manhandling and shivering at Nikki’s answering growl when the alpha sees it where he’s staring at him with those intense green eyes.

Tommy is fucking gorgeous ivory skin everywhere and Nikki could come just from looking at him for too long.

He has plans for now though, and as much as he wants to dive at the omega’s entrance immediately, Tommy’s thighs are driving him wild. Bending down from where he’s holding him up and open, Nikki groans when he sinks his teeth into the flesh of the inside of Tommy’s right thigh, making the boy underneath him cry out in surprise.

Tommy’s hands attach themselves to his hair again and when Nikki looks up, the omega is looking down at him, lips open and panting, expression absolutely wrecked as he whimpers when Nikki grinds his teeth into the flesh of his thigh. Nikki feels a little crazy, but he can’t stop licking and sucking at the soft skin, the taste of his slick sweet on his tongue and tempting him to move closer to the source but it’s not until Tommy begs him, strings of ‘Nik, please’ and ‘more, Nikki, god I need more’, does he move his hands to his ass, spreading him apart and giving a firm lick right over his hole.

“You’re so fucking pretty down here Tommy, so smooth and gorgeous for me babe, gonna eat you out so good.”

The broken whimper he gets is addicting and Nikki wants to hear it again, so he moves up a bit, lets Tommy’s legs fall onto his shoulders, hands groping at the firm cheeks in his palms, and presses his face in deep, tongue licking over his hole gently, gliding through his slick over and over until he firms his tongue up and feels Tommy opening up for it and drives it inside as deep as he can.

Tommy is floating, distantly he can hear himself making these embarrassing high pitched gasps with every thrust of Nikki’s tongue, arching his back and using the grip he has on the alpha’s hair to keep him in place as if the other boy had any notion of moving, but he can’t think about anything other than the pleasure he’s in. Tommy feels the pressure building in his lower stomach, heat getting too intense and his cock twitching as pre-come drips from the tip.

“Nn-Nikki, please, unnn, you have to stop, I’m gonna, ah, gonna come if you don’t s-stop.” Tommy moans and his toes curl when Nikki’s tongue rubs against the walls of his entrance.

Nikki pulls back just a little, enough for Tommy to see his lips, his nose and chin wet with his slick, his eyes are impossibly dark, jaw sharp and Tommy’s thighs tremble at the arousal that moves through him at the sight.

The alpha grins darkly when he feels it, turning to place a small kiss on the biggest bite mark he left on his thigh, “Then come babe, fucking want you to come from my mouth, I’ll make you come again when I’m inside you, don’t you worry about that.”

And then he’s diving back down, lips closing around Tommy’s rim and sucking hard while one of his hands squeezes around the omega’s cock and Tommy feels his orgasm ripped from him, body shaking and belatedly realizing that he had screamed Nikki’s name.

The alpha licks him through it, not stopping even when Tommy whines as he starts getting hard again too fast and it’s sensitive and so good it hurts a little.

Nikki pulls off with one last kiss to the omega’s thigh and moves back so that Tommy’s hips fall back down to the bed, hitching his legs up to wrap around his waist again and resting his weight on his forearms on either side of Tommy’s head so he can kiss him, groaning when Tommy starts sucking at his tongue. He rubs his hips against Tommy’s ass where it’s still tilted up a bit, cock getting wet from the slick the younger boy is still producing, the head catching on Tommy’s rim a few times.

“Nik, Nikki, need you inside me now, please, no more teasing, I’m so wet for you, ready for you, need you to fuck me, been waiting so long for it, please alpha, please.” Tommy babbles, desperate for the older boy to just slide into him already, tilting his hips up to try to get him inside.

Nikki lets out a harsh breath, “Baby, fuck, babe wait, need to get a condom.”

Tommy makes a plaintive whine in his throat before pushing at Nikki’s shoulders, the unexpected movement catching Nikki off guard so he’s easy for Tommy to push down onto his back and straddle him.

The alpha grunts when he feels Tommy reach a hand back and grab his cock, his hands flying up to hold the omega’s hips when the drummer rubs him against his entrance andTommy whimpers at the awestruck look on Nikki’s face.

“I’m clean, I’m clean Nik and I know you are too and I’m on birth control. We don’t need a condom, want to feel you in me, please baby.” Tommy bites his lip, wanting to sink down onto Nikki’s cock, has been wanting it in him since Nikki took off his pants and he saw it, big and hard and as perfect as Tommy remembered.

Nikki groans, shooting to sit up straight, mouth meeting Tommy’s in an open kiss, arms wrapping around his waist and hips and pulling him down so he sinks onto the alpha’s cock below him. Tommy feels his heart swelling as they finally start connecting in the most intimate way.

Nikki grits his teeth as inch by inch his cock disappears into Tommy’s warmth, he feels heady, light headed and Tommy is panting by the time he’s fully seated. Tommy can see the tears clinging to Nikki’s lash line as they sit still for a minute, body’s getting used to the sensation of being connected again. Nikki needs to distract himself from the surge of emotions flooding through him so he grips Tommy’s ass roughly, and talks.

“Fuck babe, fucking hell baby, you feel so good around me. Took my cock so well babe, so tight and wet, beyond my dreams, can’t wait to fuck you, can you move now sweetheart? Wanna see you fuck yourself on my cock.” Tommy’s body is a live wire listening to his alpha whispering filth in his ears and his hips start rocking without him even thinking about it when Nikki asks him to move.

He’s gentle at first, just a soft rocking motion but before he knows it he’s bouncing himself onto Nikki’s cock, hips grinding when he sinks all the way down, his alpha gripping his hips, fingers sinking into the flesh and groaning into his ear.

It feels so good, so good beyond anything Tommy has ever felt in the past year and his mind jumps back to earlier when Nikki had asked him to let him know what he liked and so he starts to tell him.

“Nngh, Nikki, oh, so good, your cock is so good, baby, I want it, want it more, want more, don’t hold back.”

Nikki snarls in his ear, throwing Tommy down against the mattress, arms over his head, before hitching his legs around his waist and sinking his cock back into his entrance. The wet sound makes Tommy squirm because he’s dripping, he doesn’t think his body has ever produced so much slick outside of a heat before. Nikki sets a brutal pace, thrusting into Tommy with smooth thrusts that end with a snap that have him moaning every time his cock punches into him.

The alpha gives his own deep, long moan when he feels Tommy purposely tightening around him, teasing him and Nikki smacks his ass once in warning.

“Be good babe, be good for me. I don’t want to have to punish you.” Nikki smirks when Tommy flushes further, gasping when Nikki sits up and grips his hips hard enough to bruise, tilting them up to change the angle and nailing his prostrate on every other thrust. Tommy’s hands latch onto his shoulders, dragging him back down so they can slip to claw at his back, rolling his hips up to meet Nikki’s in a nasty grind that makes his legs shake.

Nikki is fucking hot above him, sleek with sweat, green eyes dark and narrowed in concentration, breathing harshly through open lips. Tommy can see his abs flexing every time he thrusts into him and he is winded by the thought that this beautiful man is in his arms again. The idea has him clawing into his back more harshly, giving his own dark grin through his panting when Nikki hisses at the sensation and looks at him heatedly.

Tommy arches his back so he can bite at Nikki’s neck, sinking his own teeth into the base where it meets his shoulder and then licking at the mark, moaning into the alpha’s ear, “Mine, my alpha, mine.”

Hearing the possession in the declaration snaps something in Nikki and Tommy licks his lips at the wild look in the alpha’s eyes before the older boy is pulling out, flipping him over, pulling up on his hips and growling out a “chest down” that has Tommy automatically complying, screaming when Nikki pounds back into him from behind.

Nikki has a bruising grip on his hips and he’s forcibly moving his ass to bounce back on his cock with every thrust forward and Tommy has never been fucked this good before. He feels dumb with pleasure, crying out because Nikki is hitting him just right every single time and he’s in total control of how Tommy moves and it’s so good, he’s crying.

“You’re so fucking hot babe, and all mine. Missed you so fucking much baby. I’m yours, your alpha, but you’re my fucking omega, my baby, mine.” Nikki’s voice is all base now, gritty and he growls at how fucking good Tommy looks below him. The drummer’s long slender back is bowed, chest to the bed just like he asked, skin glistening with sweat and face contorted in pleasure. He keeps making these ‘ah, ah, ah’s’ that are driving Nikki out of his mind, moans making Nikki’s cock twitch where he’s buried inside of him.

“You look so damn hot on my cock sweetheart, never seen anything so fucking beautiful, sound so good, do you feel good baby? Tell me how good you feel taking my cock.” Nikki lifts his hips up further and Tommy screams again.

“I- ahhh, nnngh Nn-nikki, ff-fuck, ahh I can’t, mmm…” Nikki smirks at the other boy, slowing his thrusts down until he’s just grinding his cock lightly into Tommy’s prostrate, making him shiver and whimper.

“Sorry baby, I was making it hard for you to answer me, go ahead now babe, tell me how good I’m making you feel, please, need to hear it baby.” Nikki whispers in his ear, leaning over to drape across his back, pushing his cock impossibly deeper into the omega beneath him.

Tommy whines, trying to push his ass back and fuck himself on Nikki’s cock, squeezing around him unconsciously to try to entice him into thrusting again, but all he gets for his effort is a smack to his ass that has him jolting.

“Please Nikki, please don’t stop, keep fucking me, it’s so good, the best, fucking me better than anyone else could alpha, I’m so close, gonna come again for you, plea- ahhhh!”

Tommy screams again when Nikki abruptly starts fucking him even harder than before, snapping his hips so hard Tommy is pushed up the mattress until he puts his hands against the headboard, making it bang against the wall harshly with every thrust.

Nikki leans forward and licks at the back of Tommy’s neck, feels the omega squeeze tightly around him, feels his body shake.

“I love you Tommy, fucking love you so much baby, come on, come for me again. Want to feel you come on my dick.”

And then Nikki bites down, right underneath Tommy’s scent gland and Tommy moans his name so loudly as he comes, hole contracting around his cock, Nikki couldn’t hold off his own orgasm if he tried, groaning lowly as his come flows into the omega and the brief instinctual flash of an idea bursts into his mind, of breeding Tommy, of seeing him swollen with his pups growing inside of him and his heart jolts and he’s dropping kisses along every inch of skin he can reach, pulling out of the younger boy slowly.

Tommy turns around onto his back and Nikki’s hands come up to cradle his jaw, peppering his face and neck with kisses, whispering under his breath, “Love you baby, I love you so much Tommy, can’t even fucking believe this is real, you did so good, so good babe, absolutely unreal. You’re fucking amazing.”

Tommy’s tired arms come up around his back, meeting Nikki’s mouth suddenly to kiss him, once, twice, again and again.

“I love you Nikki,” Tommy says, rubbing his nose against Nikki’s cheek, eyes a bit teary from the intense pleasure of their fucking and from how loved he feels with Nikki whispering endless praise and confessions of love. “Love you so fucking much, my alpha, missed you so much.”

Nikki settles onto his back and pulls Tommy to him with an arm around his waist. Tommy nuzzles his faces into Nikki’s chest, yawning but smiling right after when he feels Nikki burying his nose in his hair and inhaling.

Tommy’s eyes are falling shut against his will, still fighting against the pull of sleep until Nikki presses a kiss against his forehead, “Sleep baby.”

~April 12th, 2018~

Tommy slowly comes into consciousness with the feeling of arms wrapped around his waist and kisses being pressed into his neck from behind. He smiles, can’t help himself when his lover is touching him like this.

“You need to be careful there Sixx, I might start expecting this kind of treatment all the time.”

Nikki pauses his kisses for a short moment and Tommy feels his lips pull into a smile of his own against his skin.

“I’ll do this every day for the rest of our lives as long as you want me Tommy.”

~May 16th, 2019~

When he wakes up, Nikki is still asleep next to him. Tommy hadn’t pulled the blinds shut the night before and the sun is filtering into the windows and making Nikki’s tan skin glow. He’s so busy looking at the man that he doesn’t even notice that Nikki is awake and staring right back at him.

“Good morning baby.”

Tommy startles a little before blushing at the soft, loving look in Nikki’s eyes. He shifts onto his side so that he’s facing the alpha, “Hi.”

Nikki smiles and moves onto his own side to mirror Tommy, hand coming up to tangle gently into his curls, “Hi.”

“So that was, beyond fucking incredible.” Tommy says it quietly, enjoying the stillness of the moment.

Nikki nods emphatically but he’s sobering up quickly, “Are you okay though, I didn’t come here with that as my intention Tommy, I really want to do this right, I need to get this right.”

Tommy arches his back to press a soft kiss to Nikki’s lips, staying close when he pulls away, “I’m perfect Nikki. Screw how anyone else would handle this, that was us baby.”

Nikki’s smile spreads back onto his face and he presses their foreheads together with a happy little sigh,  “Yeah.”

He’s about to say more but Tommy’s stomach gives a loud growl and they laugh at the interruption.

Nikki grins, “You want to add a breakfast date to today’s agenda too?”

“Only if you take me to that diner where we met.”

Tommy knows they still have a lot to talk about. They have healing to do, both individually and together. He needs to apologize, he had been the one to run off after all and even if he had a good reason, he was serious when he told Nikki that he was responsible for their split as well. He needs to apologize to Mick and Vince for having left them like that and not even being strong enough to talk to them about it.

They need to catch up on everything that had happened over the past year, but Nikki gives him an excited laugh in response to his request, practically pulling him off the bed with him to get ready to go and says, “Anything for you baby.”

And Tommy knows that they’ll get to all of that. For now though, for now, he’s fully alive with Nikki. Just like they were always meant to be.

[anistarrose]

Ford in Amphibia - Chapter 2

Summary: Ford is subjected to mild bullying, and the gang decides to hunt an endangered species but makes an unexpected new friend along the way.

Warnings: none

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19375102/chapters/47328493

The Beginning

This chapter references a few more episodes of Amphibia than the last one, but doesn’t spoil any overarching plot details past the first episode, so it should be possible to read even if you’re not caught up. This is starting to look like it’ll eventually wind up as four-chapter fic, so stay tuned for more!

***

Ford sat on the couch next to Anne, watching intently as she flicked through albums of photos on her phone.

“Here’s my cat, Domino — oh, and here she is again, in my parents’ kitchen! What a little troublemaker!”

“She’s quite precious,” Ford agreed. “You say you have music on this device too?”

“Of course!” Anne answered. “I’ve got all the best tunes — stuff to dance to, stuff you can sing along with, stuff to listen to as you think about how far you are from home and regret your life choices —”

“Do you have anything by Eurythmics? Or Talking Heads?”

Anne stared at Ford blankly.

“Or do you prefer classical? The Planets by Holst, maybe?”

“Uh, I’ve got All Star by Smash Mouth —”

“Mention that song again and you’re dead to me,” Ford growled.

There was an awkward pause, and then Ford sighed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be surprised that we appreciate different aspects of human culture. You’re young, and I… left my dimension a very long time ago.”

“That’s, um — that’s too bad,” Anne stammered, not really knowing what to say. “Uh… do you want to keep looking at pictures?” she finally asked.

Ford didn’t say no, so she opened a new album. “Here’s some of me and Sprig, and of some wildlife we saw the other day — oh, and here’s where I tried to teach Sprig how to use the camera! You can tell because it’s all blurry and —”

“Wait!” Ford interrupted. “Go back! To the one with the caterpillar — er, the cat-erpillar, rather!”

“This one?” Anne pulled up a picture of a black, orange, and red cat-erpillar glimpsed from across a meadow.

“That’s it! See the flame pattern, and those prominent tufts on the neck? That’s the endangered Sunburst Mountain Cat-erpillar!”

“Whoa, are you like a conservation expert?” Sprig asked, springing onto the couch. “Do you need to capture it and get it to breed with others of its kind to save the species?”

“Quite the opposite, actually,” Ford told them. “I need a sample of its chrysalis for my own use — and ideally I won’t seriously harm any specimens, but you never know!”

Noticing Anne and Sprig’s mildly horrified looks, he went on: “Let me explain. For years now, I’ve planning a mission to a very dangerous dimension, of which the atmosphere is contaminated with just about every pollutant imaginable. There will be zero margin for error on this mission, but if I inhale too many of those pollutants, they’ll almost certainly hamper my performance. So for the past few weeks, I’ve been searching for a solution…”

He pulled a carefully rolled-up piece of paper from his pocket, and spread it out in his lap to reveal a detailed scientific drawing of the cat-erpillar and its cocoon, along with a sketch of a mountain with wisps of smoke emanating from the peak.

“Every generation of the Sunburst Mountain Cat-erpillar pupates near volcanic vents, and as a result, they’ve evolved so that their chrysalides absorb and break down a wide variety of toxins. I learned of their existence shortly after coming to your world, and I’ve been trying to track one down ever since in the hope that harvesting some of that chrysalis material would help me design an air filter to get around that pollution problem — but unfortunately, the location of Sunburst Mountain has been lost to time, since those vents are dormant most of the year. The whole time I’ve been here in the valley, I’ve just been stumbling around blindly without glimpsing hide nor hair of any of the right cat-erpillar species.”

He flipped his paper over, and pulled out a pen. “The period of vent activity should only last another week or two this year, and at this rate I’m probably going to miss it — but if you could tell me where you saw that specimen the other day, then I’d have my best lead yet!”

“Cool!” Sprig exclaimed, at the same time that Anne spoke up:

“I gotta admit, tracking down a lost volcano sounds like loads of fun, but… cat-erpillars are a lot more dangerous than they look. Sprig can tell you about the Domino Two incident — did not end well for anyone, except maybe Domino Two herself.”

“Oh, I know how to handle myself, don’t worry! I’ve conquered many foes more deadly than a mere —”

They were interrupted by a yelp as Hop Pop jumped straight up, slamming into the ceiling.

“Darn it, Ford, I know you mean us no harm, but every time I walk by here I think there’s an owl perched on our couch and my heart skips a beat!” He rubbed his head, and began collecting the books he’d dropped.

Sprig snapped his fingers. “That’s it, an owl! I knew he reminded me of something predatory!”

“What?” Ford scowled. “I do not look like an owl!”

“Uh, except you kinda do!” Polly chimed in, bouncing into the living room behind Hop Pop. “There’s your big wide eyes, and the way your eyebrows jump up and your head whirls right around whenever you hear something behind you — oh, and the way your cloak billows behind you like giant wings!”

“You’ve got to be joking! I —”

“Such a majestic and terrifying creature!” Polly went on, tugging on Ford’s cloak. “You are the swift and deadly hunter I wish to emulate! Will you teach me your ways?”

Ford’s mouth opened and then closed, at a loss for words, but Anne cut in.

“Hey, that’s enough. Owls are supposed to be wise, remember? Ford set his face on fire less than five minutes after we met him. I think that instantly disqualifies him from owl resemblance.”

Ford just shook his head as Anne and Hop Pop cackled.

“And did you see how he slept on the couch last night?” Sprig added. “His face was buried in a whole stack of pillows and his feet were practically out the window! No majestic old owl would sleep like that!”

“I still want to see him in action, though,” Polly declared. “What do you hunt, old man? Tell me so that I may watch you and learn your ways of stealth and dismemberment!”

“I’m not planning to dismember any endangered species if I can avoid it,” Ford corrected her. “But you’re welcome to come with me anyways. The more eyes who know this area, the better!”

“Ooh, can we take Bessie?” Sprig asked. “Anne can drive us!”

Hop Pop’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know. I’ve got errands to run, and I’m not sure how I feel about letting you all run off without a chaperone…”

Ford stifled a laugh. “Hopediah, I’ve earned degrees in everything from cryptobiology to quantum physics — I’m basically the best chaperone these kids could hope for. Think of it as an educational outing!”

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so? That’s fine, then — just be sure to be back before nightfall!”

“Woo-hoo!” Anne cheered. “Time for an adventure with the weird hobo scientist from outer space that we adopted!”

“Adventure! Adventure! Adventure!” Sprig and Polly chanted. Anne joined in almost immediately, and after a moment, Ford did too.

***

“Okay, I think this is where we saw it,” Anne announced as Bessie the snail slowed to a halt at the edge of a clearing. The meadow was dotted with patches of mud, and seemed devoid of any life besides a lone chickfly that squawked and flew off as the gang dismounted.

“It looks… swampier than last time,” Sprig mused. “Did it rain over here or something?”

Ford knelt down in front of one of the patches of exposed mud, removing his glove to run a finger along the edge. “If anything, it looks like a creature tore up the grass at the surface while hunting here, revealing the damp earth underneath.”

“But these claw markings are huge! Whatever made them must be bigger than me!” Anne shuddered. “Ford, do you know why everything is so giant here?”

“Not for sure, but I can certainly speculate!” Ford’s face lit up. “For one thing, my preliminary scans have shown that there’s more oxygen in the atmosphere of this dimension than there is in the environment either you or I would’ve came from, which paleontology suggests may allow for life to grow larger.”

“Ugh, forget I asked,” Anne muttered, but Sprig bounded over to Ford’s side, eyes wide.

“Wow, really? If you and Anne keep breathing our air, will you get bigger too?”

“Not necessarily due to the oxygen concentrations,” Ford told him, “but that’s not the only difference between our dimensions! Gravity is slightly weaker here too, which most importantly means that it’ll be easier for the skeletons of megafauna to support their body mass, but also could cause Anne and I to pick up a few extra millimeters when our spinal columns expand. The effect should be subtle, but less weight pressing our vertebrae together means we’ll stand a little taller.”

“You’re not a majestic owlish hunter after all,” Polly groaned. “You’re just a nerd.”

“He’s a brave adventurer and he knows all about everything!” Sprig told her. “I want to be just like him when I grow up!”

“Two nerds,” Polly grumbled.

“Hey, guys?” Anne poked Sprig in the shoulder with a stick. “There’s something coming this way, and it’s kinda… on fire?”

“Where?” Ford leapt to his feet. “Is it a cat-erpillar?”

“No, it’s more like… an amorphous blob.” Anne pointed towards the creature, which had made its way almost halfway across the clearing. “I’d stay back, in case it explodes in our faces… oh, or you could just walk right up to it! That too!”

“Would you look at that!” Ford exclaimed, kneeling at the creature’s side. “I hadn’t expected to find any cryptozoological oddities I was familiar with here!”

“Cryptozoological?” Sprig tilted his head. “I thought that stuff was all bogus.”

“As in, like, cryptids?” Anne asked. “I saw a Moss-Man here once, does that count?”

Ford plucked a twig from the ground and placed it in the palm of his hand, which he then slowly extended towards the anomaly. The mass of its body seemed to be concentrated in a blob of mud that spilled across the ground with a radius of about half a foot and a height of about five inches at its highest point, from which several plumes of glowing green gas extended.

Two small, dark eyes blinked within the largest plume, and a muddy tendril extended from the creature’s base. For a moment, the mud began to pool in Ford’s hand, but then it pulled the twig back to its main body with a sudden slurp, leaving almost no dirt or moisture behind whatsoever. The twig vanished inside the muddy blob, and the creature gurgled in satisfaction.

Ford ran a hand through the fiery-looking plumes and Anne cringed, but he didn’t get burned. The creature’s flickering eyes widened as it responded with some semblance of a purr, apparently eager for more petting.

“Fascinating! I’ve encountered Scampfires back home, but I think this individual might be better referred to as a ‘Swampfire!’ Although technically speaking, there doesn’t seem to be any actual fire involved — I suspect it’s fueled by phosphorus and hydrocarbon compounds from that muddy blob of biomass, which undergo some form chemiluminescence to produce light without a substantial amount of heat.”

“Is it dangerous?” Polly asked. “Or will it help us on our quest?”

“Neither, I think,” Ford replied. “It seems perfectly content to just ooze along here and keep absorbing plant matter while we head on our way — although, I should really get a quick sketch first!” He pulled out a pen and notebook, adjusted his sitting position, and set to work.

“What happened to finding the cat-erpillar?” Anne groaned. “I thought that was some critically vital mission or something!”

“Oh, it is!” Ford told her. “But it’s not every day one gets to discover and catalog a new anomaly! You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if Swampfires exist in my dimension too, but are endangered due to habitat loss… Humanity really needs to do a better job of preserving wetlands and all the biodiversity they contain…”

Sprig peered over Ford’s shoulder at his work — a set of simple drawings, cartoonish yet detailed enough to capture all the details of the Swampfire’s form in multiple poses. “Wow! You drew that so fast!”

“Thank you, I’ve been doing this for quite a while! Now, Swampy, if you could hold that pose for just a moment…”

Swampy, naturally, chose that moment to bolt, darting back between the trees with surprising speed as its lights dimmed.

“Drat. Well, what I’ve got down here is still better than nothing —”

“Hey, guys?” Anne asked. “Is it just me, or did a really big shadow just pass over us?”

In unison, the four of them looked up. Above, a massive shape blocked out the sun — a shape with wide eyes, a pointed beak, and long, silently flapping wings.

“Scatter!” Ford shouted as the owl dove towards the clearing, and the children bolted as its talons raked the ground.

***

End notes:

Thanks for reading, feedback/reblogs are appreciated as always!

This was very fun to write, as fics with Ford often are, because I got to use him as an excuse to ramble about science! Since Sprig showed an interest in science in “Family Shrub,” I figured he’d be pretty inquisitive, and look up to the whole adventurer-scientist deal Ford has going on.

Swampy the Swampfire, also known as the best character I’ve ever written about, is based partly off the Scampfires from Journal 3, and partly off of the “will-o-the-wisp” ghost lights, which are believed to be a result of gases produced in wetlands by decaying plants. (The endangered due to habitat loss detail Ford mentions isn’t a joke, either — according to Wikipedia, will-o-the-wisp sightings are rarer nowadays, and it’s probably because wetlands keep getting destroyed. We need to save the Swampfires!)

[alittleshocking]

Nightmare on Main Street (*) [Shanius feat. Mariel]

In which Shock and Lock cause some mischief on Halloween...

@littlcdvl, @princess-mei, @ariel-the-rebel

[tw -- violence (though mild, mostly scaring ppl), premeditated attack, graphic thoughts of violence]

LOCK: Halloween was the Adamsons’ night. Every year without fail, they got an itch. An itch that had to be scratched. And it was never their way for them to ignore it.

This year was different though. This year they were in Swynlake. A town full of magic that had its fair share of disasters sweep through its streets. You might have thought that one of these disasters would ruin their plans for mayhem tonight. But as luck would have it, tonight’s disaster seemed to be working in their favor.

They had decided to wear werewolf masks and go around scaring kids that ran into their path or get into character and cause some werewolf destruction. Busted windows, excessive ‘claw’ marks on doors, pro wolf graffiti - the works! It really was going as planned when the magical blast rolled through.

Lock had been working on recreating some claw like marks on a local business’s door when the magic swept over him. The transformation hadn’t been painful. Just - weird. One second, he was looking at his gloved hands, the next, said hands were giant paws. His new, large head whipped around, ears sticking up towards…Shock?

SHOCK: Shock had been pumped for Halloween, since, well, since they’d moved in the first place. This was the first Halloween where the Adamsons wouldn’t already be pinned for trouble and mischief. In Swynlake, they had more anonymity than just the wolf masks. No one would know to trace back anything they did to the Adamsons. As of yet, none of them had done anything of note. Mommy and Daddy were so proud of them. Maybe this move really was good, they said.

Meanwhile, Lock and Shock and Barrel plotted. 

It hadn’t been hard to choose werewolves as their victims. They were easy prey, ironically. Also, that one was a prissy rich boy who deserved to get knocked down a peg or ten. Shock hated everything about his smug face. He deserved to become a werewolf, in her opinion. He deserved to know how it felt to be mocked and ridiculed. Everyone did. It built character.

Though, it wasn’t anything personal, really. Werewolves were low-hanging fruit. Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy. 

Her fingers were black from spray paint and her boots muddy as they trudged from neighborhood to neighborhood, running all about town. 

When the magic swept over them, she was standing look out, down aways from Town Hall while Lock fucked with the door to the antique shop. The music could be heard all the way down the street, even though the building itself was out of sight. She saw the magic, though, a few seconds before it washed over them.

“What the fu--”

And then, she was suddenly down on all fours.

“What the fuck?” she said, but her voice came out as a growl. She blinked over towards her brother, except her brother wasn’t her brother, but a wolf--black and hulking.

“Holy shit! Lock?!” She laughed once, but it came out like a bark. 

LOCK: Lock matched her bark/laugh with his own at her. You had to be shitting him! No way! This was...this was too perfect. He walked around Shock - lighter and smaller than himself, he noted - tail flicking back and forth as his nose sniffed. Taking in all the enhanced scents around him. The paint smell still in the air. The sweet scent of candy close by. Even people, not far from them either .

A brilliant idea went off in his head as he looped back around his sister to stand beside her. 

“You smell that?” He asked, raising his head back up in the air, his large nose inhaling again. 

No wonder people were so scared of these things. They were natural born predators. Full with power Lock had never felt before. And he planned to make the most of it while this mishap lasted.

“Fresh meat,” He answered for her, turning his gaze down the street and he bared his teeth.

SHOCK: Shock wasn’t thinking about smells. She was still in the “holy shit I’m a wolf” phase of things. She had questions, you know? Was this permanent? What the fuck had just happened? She wasn’t necessarily worried about the answers, but she did want to know them. 

Lock trotted around her. Somehow she could still read the smug-impressed-with-himself look on her brother’s face. 

She tentatively copied him, lifting her snout to the sky, nostrils quivering. 

And she did smell something that made her start to drool. Her tail wagged once, despite herself. It dropped down the next second but she turned towards the scent, all those people partying in Town Hall. Though it wasn’t just humans, she didn’t think so. There were too many smells for that to be the case. Had they been turned too?

“Man, Swynlake must be on our side tonight because this is how you pull a prank. Man, I love magic. Hey, how much damage you think we could do like this.” She pulled her lips back in a wolf-smile, sharp teeth glinting.

LOCK: Lock was someone who had learned to roll with the punches in life early on. Sure, he had questions, but at the moment, none of them mattered. All that mattered was all the scents and other changes to his senses hitting him all at once. And the power. The strength he felt in this body.

Fuck, he loved magic too if this is what it felt like.

“More than they’d like,” He growled, turning back to the door and jumping up onto his back paws to drag his claws across the wood with ease. He barked another life, starting to look around for more things to destroy. “We can keep up the little stuff ooooor -” He eyed the windows. “Do you want to go all out and break the windows like we’re looting the place too?”

SHOCK: Shock’s ears twitched (weird) at the sound of Lock’s claws against the door. It looked wicked cool, but the sound had sent shivers down her spine. Gross. Besides, breaking windows and scratching doors was kiddie stuff compared to what they could do as full on fucking wolves--with claws, like Lock had just demonstrated. And teeth, that they hadn’t demonstrated at all yet. 

“Why would a werewolf want to loot somewhere?” Shock said, realizing the stupidity of what they’d been doing up to this point. 

“Werewolves--they hunt.” Her eyes glinted yellow in the moon light and she felt the urge to lift her head back and howl. She was not going to do that. However, her tail did start wagging again, ever so slightly.

LOCK: Lock snorted, looking away from her. “Well, they fucked up that bar. I was just saying,”

He then looked back to her, noting her tail wag at the hunting comment. Now that - that was a good idea. But he wasn’t going to tell Shock that. He just sniffed the air once again, taking a step towards Town Hall. Looting and graffiti could wait for another day. Now was time to test out these teeth and see what these claws could really do.

“If we’re hunting, lets go before this wears off - if it ever does.”

SHOCK: It wasn’t werewolves who fucked up the Hunted Deer. Shock was almost certain of it. Though, whoever did it, she really wanted to give them a high-five, because it’d been brilliant from what she had heard. 

There prank was going to be much better.

Nothing was more anonymous than nondescript wolves.

Shock didn’t acknowledge Lock’s good point. It had been her idea to get moving anyway. Instead, she just lept forward slightly so that Lock couldn’t gain any more ground on her. They were side by side as they slipped into the shadows, away from the lamp light. Gosh, wolves really could be silent as fuck, huh?

“Alright, who should we go after? Someone easy to spook. Like--teenage girls.” She grinned her wolfish grin again. 

LOCK: The pair fell into step as they lurked through the shadows, the music from Town Hall making for an ominous backdrop. But who to go after? Anyone was easy pickings, to be honest. What could beat a werewolf after all?

Teenage girls? Honestly, the perfect targets. Not only were they easy to scare, they would also be sure to tell everyone what happened. 

All this trouble to ruin the werewolves’ reputation even more would make one wonder if the Adamsons had anything personal against them. Not Lock, at least. He could give a shit, but right now, they were the easiest to fuck with. And maybe the most dangerous if these teeth set in his new jaw were anything to go by. Too bad for them they’d have no one to blame.

“Sounds good to me. Chase them around a bit, maybe corner them in a dead end and watch them cry until they pass out.”

SHOCK: Shock had asked her the other day when she was going to get friends her own age and Shock had just scoffed. See, the thing was: she didn’t really want friends. Friends were boring. No one knew how to roll with the punches like an Adamson. No one else would think about chasing teenage girls and sound excited about the prospect of terrifying them. 

At least, no one she had met so far.

Which meant when it came down to it there were no better sidekicks than Thing 1 and Thing 2. 

Not that she would ever say anythng like that. 

Instead, she just laughed. “Oh, that’ll be soo good. Maybe we can make them piss themselves.” 

As they drew closer, Shock slowed down slightly, hiding partially behind a building across the street from them. The door opened but it was a fucking tiger with a little kid. And while Shock had no problems fucking with a little kid, fucking with a tiger was a different story. She wasn’t an idiot. 

She huffed and her tail flicked, already impatient. 

LOCK: Lock stood with his sister, hidden in the darkness of the night. Yeah, the tiger and kid were definitely off limits. They would have to wait for someone else. Easier targets - teenage girls like they’d agreed upon. Hopefully they all hadn’t turned into Wonder Woman or something like that. Hopefully they’d gone with boring, typical costumes so they wouldn’t be a threat.

After a few minutes, impatience set in and he sat down, huffing through his new nose. “Come on, come on. We don’t have all night.”

Or did they? It was still a question lingering in the back of his mind. What if they were stuck like this? Was that actually a bad thing?

He didn’t like dwelling on these thoughts, and thankfully he didn’t have to for long. His ears perked up as the doors to Town Hall opened again and out walked....a scarecrow and the Mother of Dragons. Or, wait...Mei?

SHOCK: Shock wasn’t really thinking about whether or not they were stuck like this. From the stories she’d heard, this kind of shit just happened. The people who survived were the ones who rolled with the punches. Honestly, the Adamsons should’ve moved to this town years ago. It was built for them. Well, it was built for their demon-spawn children. Shock didn’t really know how Mommie Dearest and Wade would think about all this. Nor did she really care.

She was totally okay with this turn of events, even though, yeah, she was a little impatient too.

“Shut up,” she huffed at her brother’s own impatience, pretending as if she was above it all. Even if the anxious flick of her tail would give her away. 

Still, they sat and waited as one or two more groups of people came and went. 

And then--two slight looking young...girls. Sorta. One smelled like a barn, but Shock digressed. They were going to have to do.

“Perfect,” Shock said, standing up and prowling forward slightly. “We should go around the side of the building so we can cut them off when they turn down the street.” She started moving in that direction, silent on her new paws.

LOCK: “You shut up,” Lock growled back, deep and low in his voice. His impatience making Shock even more tiring than usual. But he kept his cool. Especially to not blow their cover with the two girls getting further from Town Hall.

He nodded, and followed along with her. Again, he wasn’t going to tell her it was a good idea. Had to see how it played out anyway. Or whatever. He just didn’t like to admit she had a good idea, ever. Even if she had her fair share of them.

“We could also split up,” He suggested, his tail wagging a little at the idea. “You chase them towards me, I chase them back your way. Lead them down a deadend - it’d be perfect.”

SHOCK: Splitting up was a good idea. Her wolf-instincts appreciated it. Circling the prey so that they could chase it into the perfect spot. However, her Shock-instincts were telling her not to let Lock know that he’d had a good idea. 

“As long as I get first dibs,” Shock reasoned with a wolfish grin and then nipped at his shoulder playfully. “Get going. I’ll give you a few seconds head start so you’ve got time to get up the street. And stay out of  sight until you hear them coming.”

Instructions given, Shock peeled off from her brother, trusting for him to be competent. She slunk into the shadows, waiting for the girls to get close enough. She could hear the scuffle of their shoes easily. Their voices too. When they passed her hiding spot, she started walking behind them.

When the blonde turned around, she ducked out of the light of a street lamp.

“Did you--see that?” the girl asked her companion.

Shock let out a low, menacing  growl.

LOCK: Lock gave another huff at her and her nip, pulling away from her. But he nodded, and made his way down the street, staying behind the buildings and out of sight. He parked himself just at the end of the street, already eyeing a couple of good deadend alleys on his way there. 

Now, he waits.

The redheaded scarecrow turned to look at the other, confused at first. Then she heard the growl. “Did you hear that?” She asked, whipping around, straw falling from under her hat around her as she trembled. “Maybe we should go back…”

SHOCK: This was too easy.

“Turn back? No. Let whoever it is come out and face me! I am the Mother of Drago--”

Shock stepped into the light and the girl shut her annoying face. That was better. There was a cloying smell in the air that hadn’t been there a moment ago. What was it? It made Shock want to lick her lips with hunger. 

“Go away, wolf!” the girl commanded, but Shock just prowled closer, growling, growling. 

“Stop!”

Shock sped up almost trotting along the sidewalk now. 

When she was a few feet away, she lept forward on her powerful haunches. The taller girl let out a shriek and stumbled backwards, grabbing on to the other girl as Shock landed right in front of her. She lunged and grabbed the girl’s dress in her teeth, tearing the hem with a snarl.

LOCK: Lock could already hear the shouts from down the street. He gave another bark of a laugh, drowned out by the terror of the two girls in the air. He stood up on all fours, peeking out and getting very excited for the upcoming chase. His tail even wagged.

“That’s a werewolf!” The scarecrow shrieked. An animal didn’t move like that. Or seem to grin at the fear coming off the two girls. Straw fell from her body as her friend used her to stay up. But she fell back herself, her hat dropping off and more straw surrounding her as the wolf pounced. “Mei!”

Now was the worst time to become a scarecrow. Well, no time was the best it seemed - but now was definitely the worst!

SHOCK: The stupid cloth of the dress didn’t taste very good, but it was worth it for the shrieks of the two girls (well, girl and scarecrow, if we’re being particular.) Those shrieks were better than tooth-rotting candy. Her black lips pulled back in a smile, even as she shook her head, jerking the fabric back and forth.

“Unhand me you fiend!” shrieked the blonde bitch. 

What the fuck was this? A Song of Ice and Fire book? (Yes, Shock had read those books, obviously. When you’re stuck in a hospital bed, books are your best friends.) Not that it mattered. Even if whoever this girl was had somehow morphed into Daenerys Stormborn herself,  she could still be bitten. Shock wasn’t made of fire.

“Run! RUN!” The girl squealed, grabbing on to her useless straw friend.

Shock’s head jerked, but the piece of dress in her teeth ripped. The girls took off down the street. Right towards Lock. Shock spit out the fabric and gave the girls a meter headstart before springing forward again, her paws near silent as she chased them over the cobbles.

“Faster!” shrieked the Daenerys-wanna-be.

LOCK: The scarecrow struggled to follow as their companion pulled them down the street, leaving a trail of straw behind her but it was long forgotten now. She was letting out her own shouts for help, but no one was coming.

No one other than Lock, and he certainly wasn’t there to help.

He stepped out from his hiding spot just as silent as Shock had, blocking off the rest of the street. He threw his head back and let out a howl before lunging at them, and growling as he landed a mere couple of feet from them. 

His appearance and howl had made the scarecrow come to a halt, and clinging to the white haired girl. “If you got dragons, now would be a great time to call for them!” She said, then looked around for any other escape.

An alley! Without a second thought, she tugged on the other’s arm to pull them away from the wolf and hopefully to safety.

“This way!”

Lock was quick to follow though, keeping pace behind them.

SHOCK: God, that howl. Lock could be so dramatic sometimes. He’d deny it, but really, when it came down to, there was no denying it. She would roll her eyes if she could. Could wolves roll their eyes? She didn’t exactly know and wasn’t going to care enough to figure it out just to be annoying to her brother. No, they had a mission. 

So, she loped forwards, the humans too slow for her to really run full speed to catch up with them. Kind of sucked, because she wanted to stretch her legs and all these powerful muscles. Honestly, why were people worried about becoming werewolves? This was excellent. 

By the time Lock was turning down the alley, she was at his side, trotting in sync with him. Their coats shimmered silver-black in the moonlight, glinting like knives. A fitting comparison, considering that they were weapons in these skins.

“If I knew where my dragons were, they would be here!” Daenerys screeched. 

The girls hit the chained linked fence. 

“We’re trapped!” the blonde lamented.

Shock snarled and growled. 

The girl lifted her chin. “Halt!” she commanded. “You will pay for this if you take one step closer!” 

Shock didn’t just take one step closer, she took several, close enough to snap at the finger that the girl had pointed her. The girl shrieked and tripped backwards.

LOCK:  Cornered in a back alley? It was the perfect position for them. And not unfamiliar territory for Lock. SoCal had a tendency to get rather ugly the further south you went from the City of Angels. Even though it was Mei he had cornered, his eyes still glinted with excitement at the damage they were causing.

To their mental states. To the werewolves’ reputation. This was shaping up to be the best Halloween ever.

Until Shock got too close with her teeth. Lock growled, though it wasn’t directed at the girls. “Shock, too cl -”

“Get lost!” The scarecrow called, actually taking off her boot (revealing tied off bottoms of her overalls to prevent more straw falling out) and tossing it right at the closest wolf’s head as she limped in front of the other girl. “You’re barking up the wrong tree!”

SHOCK: Shock wasn’t paying attention. 

Not to the scarecrow. Not, even, to her brother’s hesitance. She was having too much fun. You could say the bloodlust was upon her. If she was human, she’d be wearing a manic grin, her eyes glinting. She’d look partially insane. And, hey, maybe she was! All those chemicals couldn’t have been good for a kid. 

All she wanted was more screams. If she was a sorcerer, she’d bottle them up in jars and keep them on her windowsill like little trophies. If she was a demon, she’d be one of those ones that sucked the fear from people and was able to sustain herself on just that and that alone. 

As a wolf, she wanted to taste blood. 

Just one little bite. 

The boot colliding with her head was barely felt. She was very much focused on the actual human. The one with sweat she could smell, sweet as candy. 

She sure was pretty when she cried. 

Shock snarled again and jumped forward. Not close enough to actually reach, but close enough to make the girl squeal like a pig and the chain-link fence behind them jingle like Christmas bells. 

LOCK: Lock hadn’t even registered he’d moved when he slammed Shock into the wall with his own body, a deep growl vibrating from within. He was faster than his own thoughts it seemed.

Causing fear and making them cry was one thing, but the way his sister’s teeth clamped down on the air in front of Mei told him the fun was over. Sure, a bite or any physical attack would work wonders for destroying the werewolves’ already terrible reputation. It’d be like a nuke - none of them would be able to stay in town after that.

But it was too risky. Leaving mental scars, they couldn’t be linked back to those in disguise. But physical - then you’re talking DNA and all sorts of technicalities he didn’t know too much about. He hadn’t been careful this whole time to have Shannon ruin things.

“Save the teeth for a second date,” He snarled. “Don’t ruin this.”

SHOCK: Shock’s wolf yelped as she was body slammed into the brick of the alley. Immediately, she whirled on her brother, the growl ripping out of her throat one of warning. Her prey was forgotten in light of her confusion. The instinct in her screaming to hunt now compromised by her brother’s cockblocking.

“What the fuck?” she snarled at him, her ears laying flat on her ead.

“Don’t tell me what to do, asshole. I think they’ll survive a stupid little bite. Don’t tell me you’re going soft.” 

With a shake of her head, she turned back to the girl and the scarecrow, who were watching with round eyes (well, naturally, for the stupid fucking scarecrow.) She didn’t hesitate this time (hadn’t hesitated before, just for the record) when she lunged at the blonde. Now, this time, she was actually intent on drawing blood, if only to give Lock a fucking lesson. 

LOCK: Shock was really testing him.

And Lock’s patience was at its breaking point.

As she lunged, he did as well, but at her once more. He bit down on her back leg, not really caring if he hurt her, and attempted to hold her back. Even drag her away. His eyes momentarily darted up to the two girls, and he let out a low growl as he held onto his sister. The noise made the scarecrow jump, but she grabbed her boot and looked at her friend.

“Now’s our chance!” She said, looking around before spotting a small hole in the corner of the fence. “There!”

They were taking too long. And Shock was strong as well, he wasn’t sure he could keep her back much longer.

SHOCK: Shock felt teeth clamp down on her leg and she was yanked backwards, her claws scrambling against the concrete as she tried to bite and snap at the girls. 

“Lock! Fucking let go of me! They’re getting away!” 

She lifted up her back feet to try to kick him in the face or the chest, but he wasn’t letting go. Her hits were clumsy at best, not used to this body. Seeing the girls squeezing themselves through the fence, Shock gave it up for a lost cause. Instead, she whirled on her brother, yanking her too from his mouth as she turned.

With a snarl, she jumped at him, colliding with his chest, her teeth going to his ear and biting hard, while her forepaws pressed against his neck and chest. If she was paying attention, she’d see the little blonde stop and look at them once she was safely on the other side of the fence, before her friend tugged her along. 

LOCK: Lock let out another growl, this one directed at Shock as she jumped on him, his mouth tinged a slight red from his bite. When his sister bit down on him as payback, he gave a little yelp before it transformed into a snarl. His front paws shot up at her face, his teeth bared and ready to take another bite.

“Stop being a fuckin’ idiot for once!” He snapped, shoving at her now as well with his back paws with as much force as he could manage. “Get off me while you’re at it!”

He snapped his powerful jaw at her as he continued to push. He also wasn’t paying attention to the girls anymore. They accomplished their plan, and now it was over. Let them run for all he cared.

[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [2] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

“So what do you think?” Freddie’s eyes are shining when he accosts Ash on her way back from the bathroom. Giving a gentle shove, she weaves through the crowd, picking up various empty glasses scattered about the room while there’s a lull between sets.

“Yeah they go pretty alright.” She concedes, pretending like she didn’t have Doing Alright’s harmony running through her mind. That seemed to sate Freddie well enough, and he followed along behind her, picking up a few glasses here and there before she headed back to the bar.

“Hey, Pocket Rocket,” the way the nickname is said makes Ash’s hair stand up on the back of her neck, and she fixed her best ‘customer service’ smile on her face. Roger’s grinning back at her, almost completely ignoring Freddie, who turned sharply to Ash and mouthed the nickname at her with raised eyebrows. His incredulity, which she catches out of the corner of her eye, still making unwavering eye contact with Roger, makes her sharply professional smile crack as she represses a genuine grin. 

“Yes, Roger? Can I help you?” Voice sweet, she sees Freddie’s eyes widen even further, if it were possible, recognising the poison in her voice from a mile away.

“Me and the boys are about to start our next set, could I grab some beers?” There was nothing innocuous in his words, and he kept his gaze focused on hers, but he’s grinning like it’s a challenge. She doesn’t back down.

“Of course.” She sets about her work, grabbing three bottles from the refrigerator behind the bar, uncapping them, and handing them over. His fingers brush against hers where he’s quick to pick them up, and Ash retracts her hand like his touch burns. “Well, if you need anything else-” Tone chipper, she’s quick to fold her hands behind her back, bouncing quickly on the balls of her feet.

“I know where to find you.” Roger agrees, his gaze lingering just a little too long on the tightness of her smile before turning away.

“You guys are playing really well, tonight.” Freddie adds, and Ash chuckles at his earnestness, the sound fond and sincere where she were artificially bright only moments ago.

“Yeah, thanks mate.” Roger looks over his shoulder, her soft, genuine laughter catching him off guard, but she’d moved to start washing up the glasses she and Freddie had collected. 

As soon as Roger had gone, Freddie rapped his knuckles against the bar top to get her attention, practically bursting with questions. With the band starting up, however, she can barely hear him over the buzz of the music and the crowd, and so she offer to take her break early. Waving off her offer, Freddie seems far more content listening to the music, but she knows that he’d bombard her with questions at the next given opportunity. 

By the time the last set is winding up, Freddie’s had to head home, like Cinderella before the strike of midnight, and a lot of the crowd had dispersed. 

“You boys did such a good job.” Maureen’s voice carries over from where she’s uncapping three bottles of beer for the guitarist. Ash, tries not to eavesdrop, but Maureen’s speaking loud enough so he can hear her across the bar, over the jukebox.

“Yeah, we’ve never really played here before, what made you guys try and find us?” Brian, leaning against the bar, takes a sip of his own beer, letting the other two sit patiently beside him, getting gradually warmer. 

“Ash is the one who asked, actually.” As soon as she hears her name come from Maureen’s mouth, Ash freezes. “Yeah, apparently her little friend is a fan.” And there’s a fond note in her voice that has Ash smiling abashedly.

“He around? Should thank him for getting us a gig.” Brian’s smile is bright as he turns, gaze roving over the crowd, though Ash joins them, grinning faintly.

“I think you’re talking about Freddie; he’s left.” And at the sound of her voice, Brian’s turning back, though Ash’s attention shifts to Maureen. “’Reen, I’m gonna have a smoke, can you manage this lot for ten minutes?” Grinning, she doesn’t even need to cast her gaze around the bar to know that everyone at the bar was too busy fawning over Tim, the singer, to be bothered to order much.

“I think I can manage, my little Pocket Rocket.” Maureen ruffles her hair, stepping out of the way as Ash went to swat at her, making a beeline for the back door.

“Ash, could you do us a favour?” Calling out after her, Brian holds out one of the beers as she turns back with a half smile. “Rog is out by the van, can you take this to him?” After a beat of hesitation, she forced a smile on her face and took the beer, heading much slower towards the back door.

He’s sitting in the open back of his van, leaning against the side door, wearing shorts that exposed way too much of his thigh. He’s got one leg hanging down to the ground while the other was drawn up to him, where he’s propped his hand which held a gently smoking cigarette. His head was leaning back, his eyes closed, and after a beat of watching him, so relaxed, taking a moment in the cool night air, Ash watches him exhale a lung full of smoke, watches the smoke turn rose gold in the glow of the streetlight. There was something pretty, even calming, about the sight, his aura of easy confidence apparent even without his usual posturing.

“This is yours.” Breaking the silence, Ash steps from the back doorway, onto the gravel of the back car park, letting the door swing closed behind herself. He doesn’t start when he hears her, just cracks open his eyes and gives her a once over, eyes zeroing in on the beer. Neither of them move for a long moment, and then he’s turning, grinning at her as he legs hung over the edge of the back of the van, holding out a hand for the drink.

“Thanks, love.” The crunch of the gravel sounds so loud in the silence created by the closed door. Once he has the beer, she’s moving back to the door, pulling one of the crates from the stack by the bins, and sitting on top of it, patting down her pockets. Part of her knows he’s watching, curious, possibly a little amused, watching as she finally pulled out a pack of smokes and lit one, stashing both the remaining smokes and her lighter in her back pocket.

“Where’s Pocket Rocket come from?” Roger’s the one who breaks the silence. Ash looks like she’s trying to melt into the brick wall, head back, shoulders loose, heels resting in the gravel where she’s got her legs straight out in front of her. Smoke drifts from her lips, eyes looking up at the stars, and at first she doesn’t answer him, he thinks perhaps she didn’t hear him, and he opens his mouth, but she speaks over the top of him.

“Me or the nickname?” Unsmiling, she digs her heels further into the gravel, listening to the stones shift against one another. Roger takes a long draft from his cigarette, gaze wandering across the back of the building, along the parking lot that was mostly empty, save for the staff cars.

“Surprise me.” He finally says, and Ash makes a noise in the back of her throat that he can’t identify, though it does sound a little amused, but not necessarily in a good way.

“Why?” She snorts, finally looking at him, smiling sharp and uncooperative.

“Why what?” He asks, frown creasing his brow, and her smile widens.

“Surprise me.” It’s a challenge not an answer, and he knows he met her a few hours ago, but he thinks her grin has turned a little more genuine, a little more playful. Or maybe he’s imagining things. Either way, he finally looks away, goes back to leaning against the inside of the van with one leg up, looking up at the sky.

“I’m just trying to make conversation, aren’t I? We’re probably going to be working together again, after all.” He lets himself smile at her snort of amusement, or perhaps derision, but continues anyways. “Fine; you first, then the nickname.” 

For a long time, Ash is quiet, watching him, trying to discern his intentions, and he waits patiently for her to respond, sipping his beer, flicking his ashes onto the gravel.

“Fife.” After a beat, she sighs, knowing before he even opens his mouth that he has no idea where that is. “Northern Scotland.”

“Hence the accent,” Roger muses, squinting up at the sky.

“Hence the accent.” she agreed, taking a moment to breathe in another lung full of smoke and lean back against the wall of the pub, joining him in his stargazing. “And I’m Pocket Rocket because I am.” It takes a long moment for her words to sink in, Roger flicking his cigarette butt away.

“That’s not an answer.” He scoffs, and Ash makes a hum of agreement, cigarette hanging from her lips as she pulls out her notebook. Her answer was incomprehensible to him as she spoke both through her accent and around the cigarette between her lips. “What?” He actually turned to her, brow furrowed, trying to decipher what she’d actually said. After a beat, and without looking up from her work, she takes the cigarette out and breathes out.

“‘s not like I owe you my origin story.” The way she drew out her annunciations made Roger feel a little bit like a fool, though there was something about her accent that he found charming. “What are you even doing out here? Shouldn’t you be inside with your groupies and whatnot?” Not even letting him get a word in edgewise, she goes back to speaking normally, which he can decipher easily when she’s not mumbling around a dart.

“Can’t a man have a smoke and get ready to load his van in peace?” Roger grinned, standing and stretching. Ash mumbled something else, too quiet for Roger to even hear, though it was accompanied by an eye roll where she was looking at what she was drawing. “Oi, watch it.” He went out on a limb trying to call her out, and when she looked up at him, flush with embarrassment, he at least knew what she’d said hadn’t been exactly polite.

“Watch yourself, drummer boy.” Despite the retort, she was bright red. Her gaze met his and she could see the triumph in his eyes. She could feel it rising within her, that anger from before at his sheer arrogance, even as he stepped out of the shadow of his van, haloed by the streetlight, smiling at her despite the situation, perhaps challenging, though, she thought it looked more playful than anything else.

Breaking the look, she turned away, face still warm with embarrassment having been caught shit talking under her breath. Stubbing out her cigarette, she put away her notebook and pencil, standing and taking a moment to kick the crate back to the stack beside the bin. Roger watches her all the while, his arms folded over his chest, as if analysing her; she doesn’t look back at him. The only sound is the aggressive crunch of gravel beneath her feet as she makes her way back to the back door of the pub, pulling it open to fill the night with the sounds of people talking and laughing, and the jukebox playing. They don’t exchange any more words, and when he comes back inside to start loading the van, she’s nowhere in sight.

“Ash, the band wants to see you!” Maureen calls when Roger leans against the bar, asking about their pay for the night once everything’s been loaded into his truck. All the bands get paid cash in hand, and Dave had left Ash in charge.

“If I have to talk to some long-haired muppet about how I owe him more than what I promised, I’m gonna retire on the spot.” Dave had said to her, looking exhausted at the mere prospect and putting a stack of notes in the till with a rubber band securing them together. “This is how much they get; no more, no less.” He’d been very serious about that part, and Ash took pride in the fact that he’d trusted her after so little time.

The smile she gives Roger is tight as she passes him the money, and he raises his eyebrows at her, finally picking up on her strained professionalism.

“Thanks again for the gig, uh, Pocket Rocket, was it?” He asked, feigning innocence, something inside of him delighting at the way her jaw tightened.

“Sure,” Ash said, working to untense her jaw, “it was lovely having you play.” After a beat, he gave her a nod, his own grin now just amused as he leaves to join the other members of the band where they’re talking to some, what Ash assumed to be, fans.

Roger catches her humming Doing Alright as she wipes down tables a little later in the night, and, for reasons he’s not quite certain of yet, he smiles.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe @laueecakee@smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings@2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times@heyyouitskay @yepimthatperson

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[bbclesmis]

Composer John Murphy on Creating A New Musical Identity for ‘Les Miserables’

John Murphy returns from a personal hiatus to score PBS Masterpiece and BBC’s adaptation of Victor Hugo’s classic novel.

When you hear the title Les Miserables, you automatically think of the bombastic and overly played Broadway musical that came to a city near you. Or you saw the film adaptation that won Anne Hathaway her first Oscar a few years back. Since it debuted over 3 decades ago, Les Miserables has won the hearts of millions around the world. John Murphy, however, isn’t really a fan.

You’ve heard the music of John Murphy but you may not know it. I had no idea that he was the man who created that jolting music behind the opening sequence of 28 Weeks Later, and he also composed the lyrical and epic sound to Danny Boyle’s Sunshine (not only an underrated film, but an underrated score).

After taking a personal hiatus to focus on family and his personal life, Murphy wanted to jump back into scoring something completely different. If you look at his resume (you can sample his music here), there isn’t anything like Les Miserables on it. This is a classic tale of redemption with a sprawling scope and massive cast, and that wasn’t lost on Muphy. The score shows a huge amount of range, and he really digs into the minds of the characters. One moment the minds of Jean Valjean and Javert are amplified by the incessant plinking of simple piano strings and the next we are witnessing the horrors of Fantine literally selling her body for the sake of her child.

It’s a familiar story, for sure, but the execution is sophisticated and smart. The music is classic and enthralling in a way that a staged musical never could be.

You haven’t done a big project like this in a long time. Why return from your hiatus with Les Miserables?

I had enough of the movies, to be honest with you. I wanted to spend time with my kids. The spark had gone from me, and I felt that I was going through the motions. I wanted to feel like a human being again. When I decided that I was going to come back, I went in to see my agent, and we sat down to figure out what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to pick up right where I left off—with the wall of the sound, post apocalyptic sort of edgy thing I was getting known for. I wanted to do something a bit more grown up with more weight. I wanted something with gravity. A few days later, my agent said there was interest in my doing Les Miserables. I just cracked up, because, of course, I was thinking of the musical.

I do think that’s everyone’s immediate thought.

I hate musicals. I told my agent that I’d be the worst person for that—I’d mess it up. When he told me it was the book, something clicked. I remember that I read the book years ago. I used to tour a lot, and every time I was on the bus, I’d take a big stack of books. On a tour through France, I read Les Miserables. I loved it. I’ve never seen the musical, and I never want to—it’ll ruin it for me. It’s got everything. It’s got these dark characters wrestling with demons, good versus evil, death, betrayal. When I found out that it was going to be a 6 part adaptation and that it was going to be written by Andre Davies—who did the last War & Peace series—I knew I had to do it.

I had a Skype interview with the producers and the director, Tom Shankand. He was so passionate that I knew he was the real deal. He wanted to go back into the Victor Hugo book. It’s like a French Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Part of what Hugo was trying to do was let the world know of how these people were suffering. He was a brilliant man. He was trying to change legislation—he was a real champion of the poor. Tom wanted to get back to what the story was about and keep it raw. I was sold. A week later I was lucky enough to sit in a read through with the actors. Normally, I get brought onto a movie and they’ve practically finish the cut. It was interesting because they hadn’t even started filming yet.

Oh wow.

Yeah, I got to sit in and listen to their inflections the first time they were reading through it. There were ideas straight away. Lily Collins is this tiny thing, so that vulnerability was there immediately. I got to see Dominic—this huge guy. It was very inspiring. When I came onto it, I thought they weren’t going to start shooting for another 2 or 3 weeks, so I thought I’d have 6 months to wait for it. Then Tom and producers told me they wanted songs written, and I was like…hold on, what do you mean songs. There are these little songs and piano pieces in Hugo’s novel. They asked me if I wanted to do it, and I told them that I had never written anything before they started shooting ever. So I had 3 or 4 weeks writing these things.

With sitting in on that first reading, did it feel like the music could change with the characterizations or maybe that it would even help build the characters? I’ve never heard of a composer getting to see that so early.

Neither have I! With these great actors, it was amazing to see them. With David Oyelowo, you could see the posture he adopted—just reading it aloud. And I thought to myself, “That’s not natural.” There were all these different things I was watching—with him especially. When you’re composing in a medium that you already know about, you’ve got to make the distinction that you’re not scoring the book. You’re scoring this new retelling of the story. You have to be sensitive to what this new version is going to me. So, for me, watching David to his read through, he did a very quiet, controlled voice. It was different than the book. The same with Dominic. Dominic was a lot warmer with his Valjean than I remember the character being. I was putting notes in my phone and a lot of the things I felt that day helped me later on.

Once they started shooting, I just faded back to LA, and I was on my own. Just being there that day and cross referencing that with the scripts allowed me to write most of the scenes before they dropped the first episode with me. I got a real head start. I couldn’t write anything to picture, obviously, but by the time they gave me the first episode made such a big difference. I was lucky that when I agreed to do it, the read through was 5 days later. It was an amazing experience.

The miniseries has such beloved characters—whether you’re familiar with the book or the musical. Was there someone you really liked writing themes or motifs for?

It’s obviously to say the two main characters, but for them that was the biggest well. And it’s not just character scenes. I think some of my favorite things in there were the hulks scenes. I wanted to have something that felt utterly repetitive. What would be the repetitive sound of nothingness of this guy’s life? I ended up climbing inside the piano and muted some strings and was tapping one of the low piano strings with my finger to get this “dun…dun…dun…” It was this annoyingly repetitious thing that is so uncomfortable because you’re waiting for the chord to change. And it kind of doesn’t for ages. His biggest fear is getting caught. As soon as Javert sees him again at the factory you hear very quietly the “dun…dun…dun…”  I was trying to do the John Williams thing with Jaws. If he can do it with two notes, I wanted to do it with one. I thought it was a way to be effective without being necessarily musical. It’s not necessarily the character themes, but it’s the situational themes.

That repetitiveness feeds into Javert’s obsession with catching him.

You’re absolutely right. Javert’s version of it was much lower. His driving force throughout the whole story is his skewed sense of justice. In episode 3, 10 years have passed and he’s receiving the Medal of Honor, and when the camera comes to his face, it means nothing to him because this one man got away. You see him go to his room afterwards and when he starts eating his meal, you can see he does not taste it. Then you hear the lower version of the same theme and this hunger will never go away until he’s caught Valjean. It was a nice way to tie in the repetitive life of Valjean in prison with Javert’s mechanical obsession. It’s sort of Javert’s state of mind theme actually.

One of the most distinct pieces of music is when Fantine cuts her hair off and her teeth are ripped out of her mouth. The music feels like the score of a horror movie.

It was such a difficult decision to do it that way. Some people at the BBC said, “You can’t do it that way!” We had this scratchy viola when she gets her teeth pulled out. I thought it’s more gruesome without music. I argued with Tom because I thought that you need to hear the sounds of the teeth getting wrenched, and he said it’s too hardcore. We needed music to remind people they are watching television. I had that little theme for her on a music box with whole carnival. I wanted to do it a bit more macabre cinema—a bit otherworldly with this circus vibe. The guy who does the teeth pulling already has this painted face and hands, so I played into that. What changed it was I had this wonderful violist named Andy.

I need something to be whimsical but also be kind of fucked up and edgy. We had him in the studio and we were working through some articulations. We tried it with harmonica and tried it with the bow going one way and then the other, and then we tried putting it all together. We came up with this sound and I take no credit for it—it was him. It was swirling around and it was so fucked up. So we pulled the picture up, and we started as if we don’t know what’s going to happen to Fantine. Like she’s just going to get a haircut but we know it’s going to get bad. When we go into the teeth pulling, we were going let loose a little bit. There’s a moment when the old woman grab’s Fantine’s shoulders and pulls her back, and I thought wouldn’t it be cool if we did a viola version of the great guitar crash of Radiohead’s “Creep”? I asked him if he could do an 18/16, Johnny Greenwood crash in when he goes to take the teeth. He did it in one take. It made it completely over-the-top, but sometimes you gotta say fuck it. We may get hung for this, but let’s go for it.

I was going to ask if you used any nontraditional sounds in that sequence.

It sounds like a Les Paul with a lot of pedals with a lot of distortion. It was just the sound that we were getting from the viola. Once we had that sound, we wanted to use it in other places.

The scratching sound reminded me of the sounds people are scared of when they go to the dentist. It helped that she’s getting her teeth yanked out, so thank you for scaring the crap out of me with that.

We did use some non-orchestral sounds, but in that moment it just happened to be an orchestral instrument making that metal scraping sound. I hate the dentist too, so that sound really helped. It’s what you get with great musician.

There is obviously a lot of heavy material with this piece of fiction. When you get to do something different for the story—like the sweeping romance for Cosette and Marius—was that a welcome change?

It really did. Tom had an idea of what he wanted, and I had an idea of how I wanted to do it. He wanted a very gnarly folk score and to just use the music of the day. My original idea was 1816 Velvet Underground meets classic French 60’s romantic film music so we had these really light highs with grungy darkness. We ended kind of meeting in the middle. Some of the Velvet Underground stayed. What we both loved was when we went to the world of Cosette and Marius, we went to a stylized version of what she thinks love is. She’s just this abused kid who goes to live in a convent, so she has no idea what it really is. She’s 16, so she has every right to be romantic about everything. When we got to play her frame of mind, we got to play this romantic style. It was a relief after all the dirty stuff we’d be doing. I never thought I’d say that I was ready to get into some of that love stuff.

Since it’s 6 hours, this version really feels like 3 movies stacked on top of one another. Did the size of it all intimidate you?

I’ve done movies that have become big. My first thought was like, “I can’t win here.” Even though I’ve never seen the musical, people are going to watch it and wonder where those songs are. I didn’t think it was intimidating, but I did feel like I had a monkey on my back. Whatever I do, it’s not going to be the musical. A cloud that was always there. The only way to get through that is to completely own it. It’s clear that we aren’t trying to reference the show in any way. The first time I got the first episode, I think I was in denial. When I told people that I was doing it, they got so excited. But the first time I saw those famous two words come up on the screen, I thought, “Fuuuuck.” I had a beer and calmed down and we were fine from there. One small moment, and I got my shit together.

Les Miserables is streaming now.

https://www.awardsdaily.com/2019/05/06/john-murphy-interview/

[teensoftware444]

Best Tinder Hookup Profile

Ever wonder who has the best Tinder profiles? What “best of Tinder” status actually looks like?

Best Hookup Bios For Tinder

Tinder Dating Site Hook Up

Best Tinder Hookup Profile Photos

Here are 3 of the top Tinderers (by likes):

Apart from The Chive, in choosing 5 best hookup Tinder strategies and statistics to get laid we used an interesting piece of advice given by successful male Tinder users on Bustle and official. The Best Tinder Bios to Get Laid. I’m going to come right out and say it; there are no best Tinder bios to get laid. Your Tinder bio is the least important facet of your profile to get laid. If you want to get laid on Tinder, you need good photos first. No matter how witty your profile description is, it won’t make up for unattractive photos.

When these 3 appeared on TV, many viewers were stunned by how ordinary they were.

I mean, they’re good-looking. BUT they’re not the hottest people you’ve ever seen. Instead, what sets them apart is they’ve mastered the art of making a killer Tinder profile. Like this one:

If you’re an average-looking guy who wants to clean up on Tinder like the best, these are the Tinder profile examples you need. Here are their secrets.

1. About Me Examples (Copy-Paste)

According to guys with the most high-performing Tinder profiles, your “about me” tagline needs to be light-hearted and short.

Avoid raising red flags with whining or complaints, sexual innuendo, or anything negative. Try one of these proven Tinder taglines:

“If you like water, you already like 72 percent of me.”

“I’ll treat you the way Kanye treats Kanye.”

It’s fair to say that our interracial dating community represents the enlightened majority in American society. A Gallup poll in 2013 found that 96% of black people and 84% of white people approve marriage between blacks and whites. This means that 87% of Americans overall see no problem with black-white marriage, up from a meager 4% in 1958 1. https://teensoftware444.tumblr.com/post/657489259390959616/elite-singles-interracial-dating. Questions about online dating? Enjoy our ultimate online dating guide; Interracial Dating. If there were previously stereotypes, preconceptions or presumptions about interracial dating, these outdated attitudes are transforming as more and more American singles are seeking partners from other ethnic groups, and couples’ relationships no longer being defined along racial lines.

“I know all the words to ‘Butterfly’ by ‘Crazy Town’.”

“I can make a better sandwich than you.”

(For more suggestions for your Tinder’s “about me” section, check out The Best Funny Tinder Bios for Guys: Clever, Geek, Jock (Copy-Paste).)

2. Tinder Profile Photos

a) Copy the best profiles— use all six slots.

The best Tinder profiles start with a clear shot of the person’s face.

For the rest, variety is key: a pic with friends, in a suit, travel pic, hobby candid, athletic candid.

b) Test your pics on Photofeeler to find your best.

The best of Tinder have great photos of themselves. They aren’t the most attractive people necessarily, but they know how to sell themselves with a picture.

Most guys COMPLETELY FAIL at using pictures that are even as attractive as they are in real life. Most guys choose pics that bring their number down.

Before you waste your Tinder matches on the wrong photos, be sure to run yours through Photofeeler to know exactly how women are responding to them.

Choosing profile pictures this way has been known to increase matches on Tinder by 200-400%.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!

Free message dating app. Know all about tinder bio and right swipes here with our best list of suggestions for girls and boys.

I don’t mind telling you- that for whatever reason you think you need to copy paste something about yourself from a web page, you are wrong. I hate beating around the bush so am going to cut right to chase. As gayish and as girlish as it may sound, folks…write what you are. Yeah and do sprinkle some necessary ingredients along with sarcasm, humor, wits, stay cute a bit, reflect you’re a man of words and most importantly for god sake’s don’t fake.Read along everything you need to know about tinder bios to flourish with a maximum number of swipes. I will let you know few best pointers to follow once you are on to write down about you on tinder, and you will see how the plus counting will follow once you build your bio according to your personality traits. Well, there has to be some chance of you knowing the fact that bios are written to let the other party know what you are like.Frankly, the statistics have been done. Yet, needless to say, a human brain works in peculiar ways my friend, mostly when it comes to online dating. Every individual listed are not looking for something special and you will come across that some time or the other. It’s really important to say that reflects your personality and your intentions as a whole. You don’t want yourself lying dead in some dark alley because you dated a criminal or worse scenario you attracted some psychotic to be your date.I am going to show you few of the best bios where you can understand and learn how amazingly you can frame out your words because as long as online dating and tinder is concerned, WORDS play to be a lethal weapon in grabbing attention and gaining a maximum number of swipes.Related article: 10 Best Hookup apps you’re searching for!

6 BEST TINDER BIO FOR BOYS

Boys are a different race altogether and the way their alternatively wired brains function are utterly praiseworthy. I mean come on, if you are a guy reading this, you probably have a smirk on your face because I know you feel me. See there isn’t anything terrific about writing a mind-blowing bio in tinder. It takes nothing more than some smoking words to set the girlish brains on fire with a first glance and BOOM! you’re a right swipe.

1. No Fuss Bio

There is an absolute requirement for being straightforward while you writing on tinder and being a guy its necessary for you lay down your intentions on the table like whiskey on the rocks. Let me just show you an example from a guy’s tinder bio I peeped into from my sister’s phone that sounded something like this-“Like living alone, Food, cold beer, dogs, sci-fi books, rock music, love to discuss and talk about everything related to being creepy, ask me for skating in Michigan lake, people my kind will be appreciated”Dude… even I would swipe back right for this guy for being so straight up. This is how you’ve got to nail the bio shit on Tinder. It’s all very straightforward and this guy seems to know what he wants to reflect to a girl.

2. Creative Stuff

Creativity is picking out your own flaws and selling them a hand on fist. Boys, if you have to rate to the top, you really have to dig out some creative stuff trending on tinder. I mean you won’t imagine the level of creativity guys put into their tinder bios. Don’t believe me yet? Check this out-

“Facts about me only on request.

I go six feet without heels and 6’6 with, got a six tuxedo wardrobe so don’t hesitate to ask me out for summer weddings. Friends call me outgoing but I don’t mind Netflix on my couch if you are comfortable doing me there”Now that’s humor and creativity blended into a nice morning smoothie to gulp down for chick’s on fleek. Creativity has always been sexy. Take an artist or a musician for an example… girls scream and sigh to be with one.

3. Laid Back Me

When I say ‘Be you’, take it seriously because there is absolutely no need to pretend about your laziness, if only I could add a LOL here I would. So what I mean to say is if you are laid back, PLEASE let it reflect in your bio. Girls aren’t much behind boys these days when it comes to craziness and some of them love petting guys. So if you are lazy and romantic so be that to the fullest. Take a look at this guy who totally nailed it when it came to reflecting his interests.“Love traveling, surfing, tech is my thing, long walks on the beach, spontaneous trips to Paris for freshly baked bread would be great for weekends, I am a guy to have espresso with, take your chances I might just get off the market soon”Aweee, as gayish as it may sound… this dude sounds unreal! But guys reading this please try to be romantic for F sake. It’s required sometimes. Girls would love a lazy weekend and awesome sunset walks along the beach and know it’s absolutely addicting when it comes to Paris and freshly baked bread.

4. Humor off Radar

Adding humor to tender bio is adding fuel to fire. You don’t agree? You will be surprised how easy it gets to have right swipes when you have a sprinkle of funny write up to showcase on tinder. It’s to build up that “want to know him more” thing in their forever working brains.

“I am an astronaut, appeared for the cover of GQ and later became a French spy. I am psychic and love time traveling, recently have been to 2025 and saw myself sailing across the Caribbean with a girl with red hair, shaken yet?Okay exaggerated a bit, but I did complete science as major and luckily can humor more than the regular once in my batch, gotta swipe right to know more about me”That was too cute to have been said he sounded futuristically unreal for a girl to fit her brains around, any which ways, do try out humor because girls love it. Humor is all that a smart girl looks for with some mix of right attitude and sexy along the side.

5. Short and Attractive

There is always space for you to be all sexy with the max effect. And that’s how few men do it with least minimum action words but with more depth.

“Dog lover, food is worshipHave been a drummer so love banging”

Cool bro, this guy is all set to get laid on his first date, mentioning about his musical skills and all. Not that I am jealous, just saying.

6. Lengthy yet Interesting

If you are planning to write a long list of details about you, make sure you sound interesting. No girl has time to really open up to a complete essay about you even before she knows you in person. Save them some time, and even if you do write, write some insanely sexy words to blow their mind off, then and there.

Best Hookup Bios For Tinder

“Precise EnglishAwesome cookRegular to gymFoodieDisney World returnOwner of three cars Love to ride Audi on Saturdays” Over 40 friends date. That is some really good stuff and it explains how writing lengthy can pay off in the end.

6 BEST TINDER BIO FOR GIRLS

I guess girls on tinder don’t really have to worry about getting right swipes because they already do. Yet I exactly know where their interest lies… girls face problems in getting the right swipe from the right person. But there isn’t a lot of hard work to get what you want on tinder.Best tinder bios for girls are the ones which are really witty and yet again straightforward. They always rank to gain the highest swipes on tinder. Check out our six best bios for girls after which you too can easily take some ideas and tweak around to build up your own flawless tinder bio.

1. The Perfect One

A perfect bio build up by a girl reflects how serious they are with tinder profile and that is actually a good thing for boys to handle. Girls, if you are a fan of building up a nice and perfect bio about yourself then please go ahead like this one

“I love dogs, and prefer men in shape because I find men out of shape to be overly sensitive somehow”

Tinder Dating Site Hook Up

It reflects what kind of men you like and a little glimpse of your liking as well. It really leaves something to the imagination of men, just don’t forget to add up a nice display picture.

2. The Realist

Realist girls would love bios like these and why not do something similar when it comes to building your own bio? I suggest you write something which really turns out to be an exact replica of your realist nature. It really does work. Guys love girls who are clear with their ideas and aren’t afraid to express that on tinder. Take a look at this bio for an instance“I like long walks on the beach, and i know why you are swiping along instead being surrounded by friends because somewhere your search is still on, know that i like to cuddle in baggy clothes while I watch Netflix happily all weekends, so don’t expect me to dress up and go out for a date night when am all cozy, and just so you know I am currently in an open relationship with 3 female roommates, text to let me know if that would be a problem with you?”

Wow, that’s just so inviting. I mean you read this and it’s like “let’s see if her roommates are out this weekend”.

3. The Cheesy One

This is my personal favorite because it’s amazing how guys react to a cheesy pickup line or bio. It’s like cheesy words just drills a deep impact on them and they are golden. Yet nothing can beat the kind of cheesy stuff girls write on tinder these days sure you can if you put in that effort but first check out these two which turns out to be gaining thousands on swipes overnight“I believe men have two emotions to the maximum, Hungry and Horny. If I don’t see with an erection I might get you your favorite sandwich”“Since I’m good with cooking I can make you some dessert but if you are hungry for oversweet dishes there is always me”It’s so cheesy that any guy would swipe right. Don’t just copy paste through built up your own because there is nothing like putting your own words into action and see the results.Related Article:=' color:=''>='color:>Best Flirting App for both iOS and Android=' color:=''>='color:>

4. The Pizza Lover

I personally categorize people into two different sects, one who likes pizza and the other one you know who. I know girls like 99.9% are in love with pizza and it’s utterly cute when that is reflected on your tinder bio. Get that extra sense of your pizza love into play and build up a tinder bio. Believe me, guys love girls when they talk about eating, I mean that intensity itself is mind-blowing to them. “Finally to have someone of the same taste, pizza lover if you are reading this grab your chance and rescue another pizza lover from these mundane”

“You might not know me yet but if pizzas are your thing only then bother texture”

My God, it’s hard to believe but trust me pizza lovers do take their obsession to next level. It’s almost like a religion to them. So girls if you have a certain obsession with food, please bring it up in your tinder bio because real is always attractive.

5. The Dark Side

Once you decide to type your tinder bio by explaining something about your dark side, don’t step back, guys love reading something different out of the ordinary and it’s so cool. To be honest, don’t start planning a murder in your bio or discuss about a long lost crime you did as a child. But be that girl if you are little nasty, that is like 10/10 for boys to swipe right for.

“Can you meet me in the dark alley beside barneys in 20 min? Lol”

“I love star wars, watching saw after midnight, a game of thrones is a religion for me and I breathe and eat Vikings, oh! Also, I can’t sleep before I repeat watching an episode of my favorite psychological thriller Hannibal. Text if you match my taste”

Wow, that’s like sex with words, I would love to know about this girl more and more and you just know what I mean.

6. The Captivating One

I know most of you would think this one is probably the best one of them all. I guess it has to be because being captivating is something that not all girls can carry. Truth must be told it’s really important to understand the mentality of a guy when he has been swiping more than hundred profiles daily.Making your profile captivating and getting them hooked to your don’t really take much effort yet it does require a little tweaking of words to get to frame that perfect sentence that can really blow their mind off the radar.

“I wonder why would you be on tinder if you’re already.Taken?”

That is exactly what you want your guys to know about you- Nothing. In that way, they will swipe right and your work starts there… to sort the best among the rest.

How Can Tinder Bios Reflect You As A Person??

I am literally writing an answer to this question because it has been asked on our website for like a zillion times. Tinder bio reflects a great deal of a persona and it’s not just about how witty, pretty, funny or awesome you can sound but what you really are as a person. I know it sounds bookish as few words can’t reflect a person’s nature but you really can make a difference. If you are looking for something to match your taste then know that the other person writing about themselves are looking for the exact same things as you are.You’ve been through the entire article and I know what is going round in your mind. You just want to switch to another tab or pick up your other device to get this thing into place. Knowing what a tinder bio should look like calls for an action.I hope this article helps you chalk out a great bio on tinder and get you that right swipe that you deserve. Also when you read your section make sure you read it carefully because putting some of those suggestions into your writing can really help you build a bio that you become an irresistibly interesting person one can’t wait to know about.

Best Tinder Hookup Profile Photos

Also Check: Bored of Tinder? Here’s=' color:=''>='color:>Best Tinder Alternatives=' color:=''>

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hi maddie <3 happy to hear from you again. i figured out you probably had good reasons for not being able to answer my ask so dont worry.

i hope you enjoyed your time in moscow. my mom was there last year and the photos she took of the city were beautiful.

yes i am a newish carat. ive been a kpop stan for less than a year and it took me about a month to become a multi and omfg i fell in a very deep hole hahahha. thinking that vernon is cute or whatever is a very strong mood. i really wish i gotten into kpop much earlier bcs i felt like i missed out on the greatest era of so many groups (2017-2018). also about my bias: no, he wasnt my bias from the beginning. it was minghao when i started stanning but he always was in my wrecker line but... idk with time going by i really started liking him a lot :)

very sad to hear that you kind of lost interest in pentagon bcs they actually are one of my ult groups but i get that relationship you explained... i have the same with bts.

i dont really know your taste in music (maybe hit me up with one of your playlists if you want to)... then i could maybe give you better recs for which bg you possibly would like bcs there are so many talented groups i wouldnt know which one to recommend to you.

anyways if you are okay with it i also will give you an ask about this ( and last) weeks promts/missions: 1. whats a svt song you like but most ppl dont like? 2. idk if youve seen this weeks promt yet but there it is and this actually fits well with me asking you for a playlist earlier without even realising it. maybe choose one of those and try to include you personal perference maybe?? ofc only if you feel like it.

i hope youre well and enjoyed your weekend.

-carat anon <3

hello <3 it took me a minute to finish my playlist hehe; i usually just throw all the songs i like into one big library that i constantly play on shuffle (yes its exactly as messy and convoluted as it sounds lol) but i tried my best to create a somewhat cohesive playlist for u !

ive been listening to a lot of 00's & 80's inspired synth pop lately so i guess this playlist is kinda based on that ? maybe ??? i'll be honest im really bad at organizing music so um.. make of it what u will ! i really hope u find at least one song u like from this list <3

1. love me 4 me - rina sawayama 2. caffeine - eyedi 3. black pearl - sunmi 4. lazybaby - dove cameron 5. dance alone - tayla parx 6. girls - vetta borne 7. eat my love - bibi 8. evita ! - devita

as for a svt song i like that most people dont... thanks maybe ? its not a widely disliked song per se, but a lot of carats seem to agree it sounds a little generic (fair enough!). personally i dont think thats necessarily a bad thing though? like,,, its not my favorite svt song, but i would probably rank it a little higher than most other carats

oh yea moscow was wonderful ! <3 its not my first time there so the only big touristy spot we visited this time was the red square,, i mostly just hung out w my aunt and went shopping, wandered around a bit and stuff ! it was still super exhausting tho. im from a relatively small town so im not used to taking several subways and busses to get to my destination,, by the time we'd arrive i'd already be sleepy and sore ^^" do you travel a lot?~

i wouldnt say i lost interest in pentagon because i do still love the group and their music & i wish i could get back into them, but everytime i try to i feel more like a spectator than part of the fandom, it doesnt feel the same anymore i guess ? you could say im more of a casual fan of them now! but its so cool that i got paired up w someone who ults them hehe who's your bias in pentagon? ^^

speaking of biases, i was actually thinking that if u asked me to guess your svt bias now, i would say minghao so its funny that he was in fact your first bias :') what are your 3 favorite things about your current bias? you can be vague about it if you don't wanna reveal too much, of course!~

take care ! <33