#2013/14 were REALLY good years for my art and then 2015 was my first year out of highschool and it totally rocked my shit in a bad way

[jacqal]

fursonas from each year between 2013-2021 (except for 2015 which was simply a bad and evil year) because fuck it i deserve to celebrate myself a little („• ֊ •„)

[bright-and-burning]

tagged by @landoisokay and @bsaka7 to do my 9 favorite albums (with commentary. i had a lot to say...)

these are all relatively recent because i pick and choose older songs individually more than i listen to them as a single album. like i could pick at least an album’s worth of queen songs, but they’re not all off the same album, ya feel.

in no particular order!! w some explainers below the cut:

dreamland (2020) - glass animals. i almost put how to be a human being but i’ve been listening to that album basically on repeat for the last three weeks so i needed to switch it up. such an experience of an album honestly?? where how to be a human being makes me feel like the main character in an over-saturated murderous movie set in miami, dreamland is like, over-saturated fast car movie set in tokyo (the like. hollywood idea of tokyo, to be clear). forever intertwined with midnight walks through empty cities during covid, driving too fast, the first time i hung out with people after getting to come back to college, neon lights on cinderblock walls and $12 plastic handles of liquor. fundamentally bittersweet as an album imo? but so full of bangers that you forget that it’s . really sad. tokyo drifting with denzel curry was my top song of 2020 and spotify helpfully informed me that i listened to it 30 times on my 19th birthday. lol. the “get loose, streetfighter” with the street fighter sound effect… oh yeah baby that’s art. it’s all so incredibly loud also a song of all time tbh. whole album is floaty and sharp all at once, insane production, the perfect sadness layered underneath, every song building into this brilliant crescendo… perfect album for 2020 eve for like so many reasons, i could wax on about this for AGES so if u want more drop an ask no joke it’ll make my week. still holds up soooo well

lemonade (2016) - beyonce. LOL. this album dropped right around when i was getting cheated on by my gf of. over a year. and then we broke up and i signed the papers to transfer schools the next day without telling anyone. so this album fr got me through uprooting my entire life to start over. (what timing, to get cheated on right as beyonce drops her got-cheated-on album). i knew beyonce belonged on here (too influential musically to me to Not) but i was stumped on what specific album to include (i had 4 on cd in my car in high school, for example, and homecoming: the live album felt like cheating) until i remembered how much play time this one got, and how much i leaned on the album and the visuals then (which. by the way. i bought on itunes bc it wasn’t available for streaming. used precious data bc school wifi wouldn’t let me download it. possibly the last album i bought on itunes??)

save rock and roll (2013) - fall out boy. oh man. 2015 me was on one bc i was a HUGE mcr/fob/atl/p!atd/green day girl but at the Exact same time. a 1d girlie. my shuffle would literally go from mama to up all night. ANYWAYS. was stuck between american beauty/american psycho and save rock and roll, but i think american beauty/american psycho didn’t hold my attention for long and only recently came back on my radar (has some very toxic inspiration won’t lie). the mighty fall ft big sean? life changing. big fan of rappers being dropped into songs that you aren’t expecting them to feature on. “i’m either fuckin or workin so the grind don’t stop” is a work of art. young volcanoes and save rock and roll were legitimately like. the most comforting songs of all time as a sad and lonely 14 year old

when we were friends (2019) - the backseat lovers. starts out so strong and keeps it going. what an album to listen to while absurdly into someone who then starts dating your roommate lol. just like, beautiful stuff. makes me yearn. crazy good to belt out in the car while driving

cleopatra (2016) - the lumineers. feels like home, and being dumb young and in love to me. i’ve been listening to them since ho hey played on our local membership supported radio station when i was . 11?? finally got to see them two summers ago and bawled my eyes out the entire time. this whole album no skips but also like. so overwhelmingly nostalgic and infused with feelings with nowhere to go that i can’t help but want to cry. i learned how to play ophelia on a piano in a basement of a dorm i’ll never see the inside of again lol. patience makes me insane and it’s literally just piano. the lumineers in general make a lot of music that makes me ache for times and places i can’t return to, but this album is pretty peak for it

lungs (deluxe edition) (2009) - florence + the machine. god florence just does not miss does she. dog days are over another local member supported radio station hit. i started listing all the perfect songs off and then had to stop because i was listing the entire track list. floaty and romantic with a heavy edge of morbidity and violence. remember when i said i love when rappers on songs you aren’t expecting? if you listen to anything from this post PLEASE listen to you’ve got the dirtee love ft dizzee rascal from this album. a long ass album that’s good the whole way through, i’ll truly never tire of it

ctrl (2017) - sza. i think SOS might be better and eventually take this slot but i’m trying not to let recency impact this too much. drew barrymore went quintuple platinum in my bedroom in high school. it really was the perfect album for insecure 16 year old me? speaks of growth that listening to this album doesn’t hit me where i live half as much as it used to, that instead of being like damn so real sza to things like . “im sorry im so clingy i dont mean to be a lot... lonely enough to let you treat me like this” im like. damn good song

hozier (expanded edition) (2014) - hozier. take me to church another song that member supported ad-free radio station introduced me to. what a fucking album my GOD. angel of small death and the codeine scene… jackie and wilson was literally like. the love song to me. still is can’t lie. need to be saved and have hands through my hair. every single song has lines that literally make my jaw drop, i feel like i discover something new on every listen through. “free and young and we can feel none of it”… foreigner’s god makes my chest ache. i can’t fucking believe this album is ten years old???

mt joy (2018) - mt joy. another album that reminds me of home; my whole family listened to this for months on end during covid. i’m your wreck is such an opener… “and whatever happens please remember all the laughter” like i’ll cry. my instagram bio is from this song lol. the bit where it shifts into what my family calls shoulder lean mode… anyways. ASTROVAN!!! A SONG ABOUT JESUS SMOKING WEED but like. also an emotional tale of assuring mom how music’ll work out even if they’re broke the whole time. whole album gives me Feelings. this might be the happiest album on this list and it’s. not really that happy. just a very specific kind of like. optimism. we move forward even when we look back. the world fails us but we build it better. idk. like the last song is a break up song, but it’s whole thing is “so if you worry, don’t worry bout me, i always wanted you to see the california coast-line on your own time.” so like yeah, love is burning out, but don’t worry about me. i told u. Feelings.

uhhhh no pressure tagging @mecachrome @freeuselandonorris @monacotrophywife and @oscarpiastriwdc

[igotopinions]

Books I Read in 2023

* = Re-read

Check out past years: 2012, 2013 (skipped), 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018,  2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022. Follow me on Goodreads to get these reviews as they happen. 1) A Book of Blades: Rogues in the House Presents edited by L.D. Whitney This book, assembled by the great guys behind the premier podcast in the genre, is an excellent way to sample a breadth of contemporary Sword & Sorcery fiction! My favorite story was "The Blood of Old Shard" by John R. Fultz, with Scott Oden and Howard Andrew Jones' tales close behind, and there were no duds in the mix. "The Blood..." really surprised me with a heart and inventiveness which the opening doesn't give away yet, you realize upon finishing, deftly sets up. 2) Fires of Azeroth by C.J. Cherryh Left my big ol’ spoiler-laden review on Goodreads for ya. 3) Black Paper: Writing in a Dark Time by Teju Cole 4) The Citadel of Forgotten Myths by Michael Moorcock *5) Neuromancer by William Gibson 6) The Expert System's Brother by Adrian Tchaikovsky 7) The Expert System’s Champion by Adrian Tchaikovsky I confess I finished the first book in this series having enjoyed myself, but wondering if I'd remember what I'd read a year from now. I don't have that concern with its follow-up. Tchaikovsky has enriched the world he set up in the first installment quite nicely, and I hope I get to explore it further in a third. 8) Old Moon Quarterly: Issue 3 9) Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner 10) The Gurkha and the Lord of Tuesday by Saad Z. Hossain 11) The Dreamthief's Daughter: A Tale of the Albino by Michael Moorcock 12) Cinema Speculation by Quentin Tarantino Do you think you’d enjoy hearing Tarantino discuss mainly his childhood and adolescence re: movies that meant a lot to him during that period? Congrats, this is extremely that. It could not be more that. 13) The Shadow of the Torturer by Gene Wolfe 14) Consider This: Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different by Chuck Palahniuk Roughly 70/30 instructional / biographical. Has a lot of good advice, focusing on a more literary mode than classic genre stylings, all in a voice and coming from a place any Palahniuk fan will be familiar with (I would have been stunned NOT to find something like the "Voice of Authority" snippet in a writing book by Palahniuk). Entertaining and providing what mostly felt like useful, actionable advice, I'd say it can be handy for writers who aren't knowledgeable of the author's works, but knowing at least a couple of his books can help contextualize his advice so you can determine which parts are right for you or not. 15) Death Angel's Shadow by Karl Edward Wagner 16) Night Winds by Karl Edward Wagner 17) Wyngraf Issue #1 Edited by Nathaniel Webb 18) Rakefire and Other Stories by Jason Ray Carney 19) The White Lion by Scott Oden 20) Werner's Nomenclature of Colours: Adapted to Zoology, Botany, Chemistry, Mineralogy, Anatomy, and the Arts by Patrick Syme, Abraham Gottlob Werner (Illustrator) 21) Tehanu by Ursula K. Le Guin 22) Lord of a Shattered Land by Howard Andrew Jones *23) Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer 24) Authority by Jeff VanderMeer 25) Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer *26) The Sailor on the Seas of Fate by Michael Moorcock 27) Kundo Wakes Up by Saad Z. Hossain 28) Swords in the Shadows, Edited by Cullen Bunn 29) The Lies of the Ajungo by Moses Ose Utomi 30) Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein 31) The Encyclopedia of Amazons: Women Warriors from Antiquity to the Modern Era by Jessica Amanda Salmonson 32) New Edge Sword & Sorcery #1, Edited by Oliver Brackenbury 33) New Edge Sword & Sorcery #2, Edited by Oliver Brackenbury 34) A Book of Blades: Volume II: Rogues in the House Podcast Presents, Edited by L.D. Whitney 35) Old Moon Quarterly: Issue 4, Spring 2023: A Magazine of Dark Fantasy and Sword and Sorcery, Edited by OMQ 36) The Wingspan of Severed Hands by Joe Koch 37) The Sword of Rhiannon by Leigh Brackett 38) Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle 39) Old Moon Quarterly: Issue 5, Edited by OMQ STATS Non-Fiction: 6 Fiction: 33 Poetry Collections: 0 Comic Trades: 0 Wrote Myself: 2

[moonmoonthecrabking]

another rtc eurovision post (i'm so sorry for my brainrot y'all) with me associating a song for each character

fair warning, this is *LONG*, so i'd suggest scrolling past if you don't really like long posts :)

i don't think that anyone pre-canon would've watched it but, you know, post-canon everyone lives au, afterlife, take your pick either works!!!

mischa: as previously stated, stefania by kalush orchestra (ukraine 2022) is his top of all time. wikipedia describes its genre as "alternative hip hop and folk" which is basically this song is awesome/talia. it being a tribute to the frontman's mother also deeply resonates with him, missing his own mother. other favourites include soldi (italy 2019), dark side (finland 2021), lie to me (czech republic 2018) and kuula (estonia 2012) because... in addition he loves everything ukraine's sent (aside from 2012. imagine being able to have pride and audience support for practically every entry from your country). he just finds so much enjoyment and nostalgia in it (ie me projecting onto my fave). he was so surprised when noel knew about it and that he had a buddy in this uranium hellhole to chat about it. has a crush on alexander rybak (norway 2009) and chanel (spain 2022). he still does not realise he is bisexual. he starts a betting pool with the choir for each new contest (and all the ones only he and noel have seen. the two get sad at first that they can't participate with those ones, but then decide to fuck with them)

noel: his winner of 2022 was in corpore sano (serbia) for The Drama and The Art, but he also supported fulenn because france (the man was so disappointed when they got second last). his all time favourite is l'enfer et moi (france 2013), because frenchwoman singing about how she would make her ex's life hell meant that he could graft on his dreams to that. because he's canadian i don't think he grew up with it like mischa, i think that he went down a youtube rabbithole when the march he turned 14 somehow or other and fell in love. he loves all the songs like n'oubliez pas (france 2015), voila (france 2019), tout l'univers (switzerland 2019), and bonds with mischa over zitti e buoni (italy 2021 who am i kidding everyone knows måneskin, thanks to @curious-georg for that idea!!!). sometimes he puts on playlists of the earlier competitions while he's studying to imagine a morning in france. has a crush on half the male entrants.

i haven't thought through how the rest of the choir gets exposed to it because it's pretty much a "after canon once they're friends, wherever they are, au or not i don't know". but basically i have a feeling that one time on movie night it's mischa's turn and he brings along the 2021 contest (because it's one of the best of the most recent and the hosts are so good) and noel goes BATSHIT and everyone else is just like "hey... what?? this is four hours long" and then it starts and they end up really enjoying it, with them going through all the contests (sometimes on mischa's night, sometimes on noel's, a couple for constance's too) and watching them live (because i said so)

ricky: they love the entries that are just a lil quirky. a lil different. their favourite from 2022 was eat your salad (latvia), mainly because the audience *screamed* out "PUSSY" to fight the censors (eurovision is a family friendly competition). the peak songs for them were at the start of semi 1 and then it all went downhill from there. and their goat? space (montenegro 2017). if you haven't seen that video, bestie, you should. they really do watch it for the memes, epic sax guy (run away aka moldova 2010), anti-crisis girl (ukraine 2009), "but in the end, they didn't" (the 2019 host talking to that year's cypriot contestant about cyprus coming in second in 2018).

constance: her 2022 winners were not the same (australia) and i am what i am (malta) because she loves the expression of the internal self and hearing peoples' emotions through the melodies. her all time favourites are monsters (finland 2018) and cry no more (netherlands 2017) because of how both are personal, one is upbeat in its self-empowerment, while the other is about familial love and support. she relates to and desires both. otherwise, anything with a gay kiss. she screamed at the full-on makeout session that occurred during this time (lithuania 2015). and marry me (finland 2013) made her VERY happy for that kiss at the end. even then, it takes her a while to realise she is Not Straight.

ocean: her 2022 winner was hold me closer (sweden), then river (poland) because it genuinely moved her, then die together (greece). she hates I.M (israel) with a burning passion, and everyone except her sees the irony in that. from other years she loves last dance (greece 2021), only teardrops (denmark 2013), popular (sweden 2011), lipstick (ireland 2011) and euphoria (sweden 2012). she has a spreadsheet ranking her placements for each year they watch, as well as the rest of the choir, and uses that to predict the results of the betting pool mischa started. sweden and greece are in her top five every year. she put if i were sorry as her first place when they were watching the 2016 edition and mischa refuses to talk to her for the rest of the night (this one actually isn't me projecting i just think it'd be funny).

penny/jane: because this idea isn't super-solidified, and her character isn't either, it's hard to know. i think that she's a menace and loves the voice cracks and mistakes (i feel bad if i direct people to certain entries for that!!! but if you know, you Know). the best guess i have is that her favourite 2022 entry is miss you (belgium) because of the religious allegory and shifting genres (like in the ballad of jane doe), but i will take suggestions!!

this was a really long post, thanks for sticking around if you got this far!

[taylizmasterpost]

Reconciliation and Late-Stage Tayliz (September 2014 - Present)

Despite not seeing each other for a while, Taylor and Liz clearly still hold a soft spot in each other’s hearts.

During the Secret Sessions for 1989 in Nashville, fans took pictures in Taylor’s home, and you can clearly see she has photos from Charleston displayed:

When it came time to mend the fences between Taylor and Liz, Claire Callaway was the one who ended up doing it:

2 October 2014 - Claire tweets a TBT to the Charleston trip. Liz responds to it:

That seems to get the ball rolling, because when Taylor drops Out of the Woods as a single, this happens:

14 October 2014 - Taylor and Liz tweet about how much they miss each other:

Then, when Taylor walks the runaway with Karlie at the VSFS, this happens:

Taylor is with Karlie at the time, and obviously nothing romantic is happening on Liz’s end either, because...

20 December 2014 - Liz gets engaged to Bryan Brown and has dinner with friends:

16 February 2015 - Liz tweets that Taylor is badass

8 April 2016 - Liz makes this gay post on Facebook that I’d like to think is a response to Style, since the MV had come out a few months before:

And Liz seems to have found a group of gay friends...

Although, that could just be a typo.

15 July 2015 - Liz posts on Facebook that “Thanks to some really talented friends, I got to record something beautiful today. Can’t wait to share this one.” The picture she attaches definitely looks like Taylor:

Liz also tweets this:

We do NOT know where Taylor was that day. However, she performed in DC on the 1989 tour on the 14th and was papped in NYC on the 16th so it’s not impossible she was in Nashville working on something with Liz. Unfortunately, whatever they worked on has yet to surface (unless you subscribe to the theory that Liz is WB...)

3 August 2015 - Shawn Brooks releases a song called Matter of Time that was written sometime in 2014 by Liz.

Notable lyrics include:

She’s got me lovestruck, crazy Going out of my mind She’s got me lovestruck, crazy But sooner or later, she’s gonna be mine It’s just a matter of time

Don’t know what this means for Liz or TayLiz, since Liz has been with Bryan since early 2013 at the latest, but this is very gay and fun.

27 August 2015 - Thirst tweet:

31 August 2015 - Liz calls Taylor sexy in response to the Wildest Dreams MV:

15 October 2015 - Liz tweets about Better Than Revenge:

28 October 2015 -  Liz quote tweets Taylor about OOTW acoustic:

11 November 2015 - Liz responds to Caitlin’s tweet tagging Taylor about nostalgia:

9 December 2015 - Liz congratulates Taylor on her Grammy noms:

13 December 2015 - Taylor’s birthday. Liz wishes her HBD:

29 January 2016 - Liz says her favorite song from 1989 is This Love:

15 February 2016 - Liz and Taylor both attend UMG’s Grammys afterparty at the Ace Hotel Theater :

26 February 2016 - Liz posts a TBT to Charleston:

16 April 2016 - Liz and Taylor both attend Coachella:

6 May 2016 - Liz tweets about This Love:

10 May 2016 - Liz possibly writes STFU and Hold Me (likely about Bryan, since he’s out on tour with the woman he’s going to leave Liz for, signaling to me that their relationship is on the fritz):

4 August 2016 - Liz posts a throwback to the Vogue photoshoot at the Bowery.

3 September 2016 - Liz and Bryan’s last interaction on Twitter:

(Bryan had been on tour with Jillian -- who he’d later marry -- and tweeting at her all summer, much more than he’d been tweeting with Liz). It’s important to note the way their relationship ended for when we start studying who Liz’s songs are about.

26 November 2016 - Liz tweets about Clean, possibly signaling her and Bryan have broken up by this point:

13 December 2016 - Liz wishes Taylor happy birthday with a post about Charleston (captions vary based on site). This also signals to me that her and Bryan are over, since she’s reminiscing on Taylor picking her up off the ground after her breakup with Jason:

11 July 2017 - Liz tells a fan that You Are In Love and All Too Well are her favorite songs from 1989 and Red (guess her favorite song is no longer This Love…):

11 August 2017 - Liz releases STFU and Hold Me:

This MV has a LOT of parallels to the IKYWT video. The lyrics talk about “staring with a bang” (”took off faster than a green light go”?), and reckless abandon (”this path is reckless”). MV parallels are as follows (thank you @mercuryonparklane​ for all the help finding this):

(notice the key necklace?)

So, either Liz is lowkey ripping off Taylor’s work or she’s trying to signal that she was the muse for IKYWT. However, considering Liz is deliberately trying to keep her image separate from Taylor, it doesn’t make any sense that she would try and rip her off. Of course, it could just be a big coincidence...

30 September 2017 - In an interview with The Young Folks, Liz says that STFU and Hold Me is about “getting to that point in a relationship where you’re sick of going around and around talking about the same issue with your partner and it’s time to wave the white flag,” Huett says. “We’ve all been there.”

Of the lyrics “I’m coming from a line of problems / I was born and I became a product” Liz says “I’m not exactly the most polished person. I’d rather be real than perfect and sometimes that means I say things that make people uncomfortable or act out in relationships and test limits, etc… I’m an honest mess but I believe I can and should be loved in light of that. :)”

I still think this song was written about the end of her relationship with Bryan, but it’s still interesting to see how Liz describes herself in relationships.

27 October 2017 - Liz releases H8U

This is another song that I think was written about Bryan. The lyrics reference taking another woman to a Tom Petty concert (Liz LOVES Tom Petty) and generally moving on quickly with another woman, which seems apt for the Bryan/Jillian situation going on.

HOWEVER, the lyrics also reference “our first date two years ago,” which doesn’t make any sense, since Liz and Bryan didn’t break up until 2016 and were together since early 2013. So it could maybe be lyrically about Taylor.

I do think the MV makes a deliberate Taylor reference, though, with the interrupting the wedding scene. Taylor famously had Liz dress as the Bridezilla on the Speak Now album art:

And, at the end of the H8U MV, Liz DOES kiss the blonde bride on the mouth after interrupting her wedding... which is... INTERESTING (especially since Liz is dressed in full RED the whole MV):

I don’t think it’s a stretch to presume Liz could’ve reversed their roles here. IDK.

9 November 2017 - Liz makes her “H8U, love these” playlist on Spotify, which features All Too Well.

1 November 2017 - Liz obsesses over Reputation:

15 November 2017 - Taylor posts an IG story with photos of her Liz and Caitlin in Australia in the background:

13 December 2017 - Liz wishes Taylor happy birthday:

20 December 2017 - In a now deleted tweet Liz obsesses over New Year’s Day

6 April 2018 - Liz releases Don’t LV U Anymore. Here are some interesting lyrics:

I don't steal your chapstick anymore / Don't wake up to your kiss anymore / And I don't have a washer and dryer full of guitar picks anymore / 'Cause you don't come over to my place anymore / Don't flirt with my roommate anymore / And I don't run to your friends / To get them on my side when we fight anymore / And I never say it / I keep it inside / But maybe I'm wasted / Or maybe it's time to get this off my chest, babe / ... / I don't love you anymore / But I don't love you any less / I don't play you my songs anymore / To see if they're good anymore / You don't tell me your secrets / 'Cause you don't know if I keep them to myself anymore / I don't go to church anymore / Don't know what to believe anymore / And I don't remember the beat of your heart / The smell of your car anymore / ... / Two years and counting / Still got all this weight on my chest / Two years and counting / And I can't remember what I can't forget

Based on the “two years and counting” line, as well as the line about a washer and dryer of guitar picks, I’m inclined to believe this is another song about Bryan. 

However, it is a really similar sentiment to that Civil Wars song Liz posted back when her and Taylor first ended things, and the line about running to get friends on a side when fighting is very similar to the “you go talk to your friends, talk to my friends talk to me” in WANEGBT and the image in Battle/Let’s Go of all their friends standing around watching them fight. Could go either way.

9 April 2018 - Liz reposts a Facebook post announcing Dammit that implies it was written a while ago. But we already knew that.

19 May 2018 - Reputation in Pasadena. Liz attends. Surprise Song: All Too Well. Camila Cabello is the opening act.  

27 May 2018 - Liz gives an interview at Bottlerock festival where she says that Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus is a song she used to get over someone (likely Bryan). She also says Havana was the song she last had stuck in her head -- probably because Camila performed it at Taylor’s show the previous week.

14 March 2019 - Liz makes a happy birthday post for Antoni (who’s dating her friend Trace):

27 April 2019 - Bryan and Jillian get married:

3 May 2019 - Liz releases Nothing Personal:

This feels like DIRECT BRYAN SHADE, since she released it right after his wedding. However, you definitely could also read it as being about being let go from The Agency.

Early May 2019 - Taylor shoots YNTCD. Her and Antoni bond over their love of The National (keep in mind Taylor would end up asking a member of the National to work on exile with her):

17 June 2019 - Liz likes Taylor’s post announcing YNTCD is out:

26 June 2019 - Liz posts on IG a video of unreleased song “One of These Days” with the caption “i’m emo” Lyrics:

One of these days I’ll rise above the blue / One of these days when I get sober too / I’ll be flying high you know / Gonna say I told you so / One of these days I’ll rise above the blue / The stars will align / My heart will come back to life / I won’t have to cry anymore / Someday soon, when I / When I get over you / One of these nights I’m gonna get some sleep / One of these nights you won’t be in my dreams / I will lay this love to rest / I will miss you in this bed / One of these nights I’m gonna get some sleep / The stars will align / My heart will come back to life / I won't have to cry anymore / Someday soon, someday / When I get over you

More evidence that Liz does, indeed, struggle with the things that Reddit post suggested.

14 August 2019 - Liz posts on IG a video of an unreleased song called “I Wanted It to Be You” with the caption “I really did” and a red rose emoji. Lyrics:

I’ll find someone else to take your place / In no time at all I’ll be okay / So you don’t have to say it babe / We don’t have to cry / ‘Cause I know you got shit to do / And baby so do I / I’ll find someone else to take your place, hey / I wanted it to be you I’m closing down the bar with / I wanted it to be you I’m fighting in the car with / Who I could push away / Come back and beg to stay / Ooh, I wanted it, I wanted it, I wanted it / I wanted it to be you

Likely for Bryan BUT maybe a red rose grew up out of frozen ground with no one around to tweet it (lol I’m joking the lakes is very likely not about Liz).

22 August 2019 - Taylor releases the Lover MV, featuring the “breakable heaven” board game:

In the bottom left corner, you can spot a blue 0527. May 27th is Liz’s birthday. What does this mean? I don’t know. I absolutely do not know, but whatever it is is driving me INSANE.

28 August 2019 - Liz posts on Twitter a screenshot of her listening to Cornelia Street:

16 October 2019 - Liz comments on a fan’s video of Taylor performing at the NPR Tiny Desk concert saying “she cute”:

19 November 2019 - Liz says on IG that her favorite songs from Lover are The Archer and Cornelia Street:

22 November 2019 - Liz releases That’s What You Get. This is the one late-stage Liz song that I FULLY BELIEVE is about TayLiz due to a few very specific lyric parallels:

“That’s what you get when you recklessly fall in love” >> “This path is reckless” from Treacherous

“That’s what you get for keeping your armor up” >> “You come around and the armor falls” from State of Grace >> “I would put my armor down if you said you’d rather love than fight” from Story of Us.

“And all your friends are lining up to hate me” >> “You go talk to your friends talk to my friends talk to me” from WANEGBT >> “First shot’s fired everybody’s gathered around” from Battle >> “I can't run to your friends anymore / To get them on my side when we fight anymore” from Don’t LV U Anymore.

It also, just from an outside perspective, doesn’t make any sense for Liz to write a breakup song about Bryan blaming herself when it seems very clear to me that they broke up because Bryan wanted to be with Jillian instead. That’s not her fault. So either this is about another breakup (I’d guess Taylor, based on the lyric parallels), or she’s just very very self-loathing and won’t let herself think it’s Bryan’s fault (which both H8U and Nothing Personal don’t suggest to me).

25 November 2016 - Liz posts a video on her IG story about Taylor at the VMAs.

6 December 2019 - Liz talks about That’s What You get with Earmilk and gives an interesting quote: 

Huett explains, “This song is about facing myself after a brutal season of running from it... I made a self-destructive choice that hurt someone I really value. The angle of the chorus is really sort of a letter to me after that first long look in the mirror. It SUCKED. However, in owning my shit (and sharing this song) my hope is that listeners might apply the sad lesson without having to learn the hard way, or, if they’ve ever found themselves in the regretful position I was once in, I hope this song can at least make them feel less alone."

This is SO DIFFERENT fro mhow her relationship with Bryan ended, but matches up so well with Liz getting help and owning her shit after spiraling in 2012.

24 July 2020 - Folklore drops. Two of the songs are written by the mysterious William Bowery. One of those songs is Betty -- a popular nickname for Elizabeth. Liz tweets at Taylor about the 1 because all of Taylor’s exes wanna think that song is about them.

So, IN CONCLUSION: Liz got help and worked through her shit and they’re on good terms now. They were possibly working on something together in 2015, although that never saw the light of day as far as we know. Liz seems to maybe be referencing Taylor in her music and MVs, but there’s no way to know for sure. Better Than Revenge on the Speak Now Tour was an iconic moment of sapphic energy, and maybe, just maybe, when Taylor re-records her masters, Liz will sing backup for her again.

Thanks for reading!

[cloudmyweather]

A Small Guide to Munimún’s Discography: Part one, the high school years

First of all, hi. I’m Muni, also known as moonlordress. I used to have a blog here, but then I migrated to Twitter after adult content was outlawed. I did however miss the efficiency of this website in hosting multimedia content... so after a couple of years, here we are again. The old blog still exists, I think, but I forgot the password and don’t feel like retrieving it.

So... fresh start. If you’ve never heard of me (first of all, how did you find me?), you might be delighted at all the new content I’m willing to post here, along with new stuff, of course. I want to treat this place as a sort of ongoing zine, which is what Tumblr was meant to be for anyway. I mainly involve myself with the arts of drawing, painting and music composing. On very rare occasions I also write.

I’d like to first take my time to disclose about my musical output (most of it available for free at this cool link). At 23 years old, I’m still too young to really make any sort of masterpiece, as I am mostly self-taught and don’t really play any instruments. If you’re put off by the fake digital sounds, I don’t blame you - but I feel I’ve gotten better at taking advantage of the aesthetic.

I’ve made music on FL Studio for almost 10 years now. My first experiments were mostly misguided attempts at creating rock music without any real instruments or band members - I am a tad embarrassed by the results, after all who wants to listen to music by a 14-year-old, but I feel like I’ve struck gold a couple times... I’ve always wondered if I could remake some of this music with my current sensibilities.

Anyway, the name of my project at the time was World Destroyance, also the name of my first album before I just decided to use my real name (also a bad decision). I hate all the music on that album and don’t currently know if there’s any way to listen to it. That was done in 2012, I’m pretty sure. Also in 2012 I made two more albums, slightly more interesting than the first - Magic (an album about My Little Pony characters, although instrumental), and [untitled] (a kind of self-portrait). I refer to these three as “the 2012 albums” and I don’t advise anyone to seek them out, but I’m sure they’re out there in a Mediafire link or something. I don’t remember deleting those.

WORLD DESTROYANCE – mid-2012 MAGIC – August 2012 [untitled] – December 2012

In late 2012/2013 I started getting very bitter and angry about real things, instead of the things children get angry about. I had been falling in love for some time, and hating every minute of it. I was rapidly losing all self-confidence and my self-esteem to this day has not recovered. So naturally my musical ideas were getting more abrasive. I learned about distortion effects but not how to use them. And most importantly, I discovered the Residents. The result was Friendly. I don’t particularly like it either, but I think this is where my stuff got deliberately weird instead of unwittingly.

FRIENDLY - July 2013

Highlights: “The Screaming Worm”, “Life after Death”, “Susan’s Story”

After a couple smaller projects (coupled with my questioning of the idea that anyone should even bother to hear what I make), I finished Tolerance Songs in 2014. I was still in love, but this was the first album I actually considered to be “good.” Still many embarrassing moments. I also started using vocals here and there. I never really liked my voice though.

TOLERANCE SONGS – July 2014

Highlights: 

“Hey There”, “Song for Samantha”, “Gingerbread Lovesong”, “Bloodclot”

After a while I decided that five albums and a couple Leftovers was enough material for a “best of” compilation. Just so people wouldn’t have to sit through such immature music to get to the interesting stuff. So I put together Harsh Reality in 2015, drew up a digital booklet as a gift for downloaders, and from then on decided to focus on simply making a lot of music and eventually collecting it when enough material surfaced.

also: LEFTOVERS – September 2014 Collecting unused stuff from the year spent making Tolerance Songs. The Tolerance Songs sessions... how professional that sounds... and neat!

HARSH REALITY – October 2015

Collecting highlights from the first five albums + misc. projects. Around 3 years’ worth of some autistic teenager’s bored meanderings on break from high school.

also: CANCEROUS DEVOTION – November 2014 Soundtrack for a school project. Secretly a love album.

YOU ARE MY SWEETEST DREAM – July 2015 Mini-album meditating on “Sweet Dreams are Made of This” for some reason. I just wanted to be a Resident.

All of this with virtually no audience in sight. Talk about wasting time (and words).

Continued on part two.

[adrunkgiraffe]

I have been through this journey before, so I get to be actually frustrated about it.

IUnder a read more because im not subjecting y’all to this. Also: I should caveat I haven’t watched the episode cause I’m waiting till its on Netflix but I have watched way too many other episodes of Supernatural so I have a right to say these things. 

TL;DR: I mean you all knew Cas’ confession was fucking bullshit and that SPN is...hm. But I’d like to actually express my genuine frustration, for a moment? I’m going to say things you already know, but I have too much knowledge of this show and too much stupid meta in my brain about a series I haven’t genuinely enjoyed for at least 5 years which makes this not just blandly bad but disgustingly insulting to me not even as a gay just as like. A writer?

Or, even shorter: Cas’ confession is just a Charlie Bradbury Speedrun 

So. As some of you may know if, for some reason, you followed me back in 2013 (and till...okay fine 2015), I used to be, uh. Really into SPN. Really, I was into Destiel. Like, as in, I slogged through seasons 1-3 to get to Cas and am also really vulnerable to the Sunk Cost Fallacy and projecting onto characters. (I was in 8th grade in 2013, okay? Get off my back)

Also, because I monopolised use of the TV, I kind of...also got my parents into it? In a “this is silly but fun” kind of way.

Over time, critiques of the show from viewers, learning what queerbaiting is at all, fatigue with how long it was going, and also fatigue from how characters I enjoyed, like Rufus, or Crowley, or Ellen, or Jo, or Kevin, or Charlie, or Cas a few times, kept getting killed off. As time went on, it didn’t escape my notice that, aside from Cas, all of these characters fit one or more of the following criteria:

They were a woman

They were a person of color

Were Queer or Queer-coded in some way (listen Crowley was bad rep but at least Mark Sheppard actually kissed a man on screen)

I also just...generally got tired of the way the show treats women and sidelines people of color. 

The final straw really came with Charlie’s death. It got us all excited, because she hadn’t been back in a bit! And it was interesting to see how reuniting with her dark side from Oz had changed her! (yeah remember the fucking Wizard of Oz storyline? The writers sure don’t!) And maybe she’d get developed! Because at this point, Charlie and the fairly good writing of her character was a major upside for the series! Charlie was cool, fun, gay, and morally complex in a way...none of the female characters had been before her, in large part because by definition, her relationship with the boys would always be platonic.

And then. Offscreen. She is violently murdered. For no damn good reason. Like, literally, her being brought back in this episode after fucking off to europe after having returned from fucking off to Oz seems to have filled two purposes in total. 

The codex is solved (but Sam doesn’t know till next episode)

Charlie is dead, which means Dean can be angry, specifically at Sam, and kill more people because he’s the big bad this season. 

That’s it. Two things. Twooooo whole reasons to do this episode. Whoopee. 

But you didn’t come here for this, you came here for me to rip this reveal to shreds. Don’t worry, I’ll get there. What I want in your minds is that Supernatural already had a really good anddynamic queer character. And then they killed her off to make Dean angry. No, it doesn’t matter that they brought her back in season 13 or whatever. They made that decision. 

After the rage this incited, I started realizing general flaws in the writing (I had probably already noticed them but now I was angry enough to complain.) Every conflict is born of Sam and Dean not communicating/taking on burdens and Dean being angry at Cas for reasons that ranged from good to ridiculous, but in a way that always went way too fucking long, (which...yes, does make the “you do it for love” gifs fucking hilarious). It didn’t help that seasons 11 and 12 were next, which meant Demon Dean and GOD’S FUCKING SISTER, plus the decision to resurrect Mary, which, while I do like her later scenes, as a season 12 finale it...well I’ll be honest it kinda sucked. It undercut the majority of the Winchester’s’ arcs and their slow and painful journey out of their father’s toxic vengeance quest and knowing Mary as a person when it’s too late to know her was one of the last semi-compelling grounders of the narrative. 

By this point it was a hate-watch for my parents and I.

So then, I’m at college, and I’m not watching anymore cause I don’t have the motivation or access to Hulu to continue, and SPN is bad. I watch the Scooby Doo crossover when it comes out and my friend and I make fun of it, and we also continue making jokes about Dean and Cas and queerbaiting because we’re queer, but I don’t keep up. My Dad does though, so when I return, I watch some with the fam and lads. It’s even more tiring without context. 

So flash forward to Quarantine, my sister, the only one with taste, has left, and we have run out of netflix to watch. So we return to the well, and seasons 13-14 are. I’m gonna say it. Bad. Really fucking bad. The cycle of bad communication continues, season 14 has like seven antagonists and the way it’s structured makes it so I literally cannot remember the timeline of a season I watched 3 months ago. Oh also, they have a queer coded cannibal snake monster for...well I guess Jack’s snake bud was cool but like. Huh wow it’s almost like these writers don’t handle queers well. 

Our one saving grace is Cas, but he’s barely in any episodes, though I did note that his deal with the empty, being happy completely for one moment killing him, that struck me as “this has potential and I know they’re gonna half-ass it somehow.” Also Jack and Mary, but then oh...plot….The most compelling it gets is literally the finale.

But then, 3 days later, the first half of season 15 comes out on Netflix and it’s...actually kind of acceptable. The new character they give Jack’s actor is fun to watch him play until they make him evil. Exploring just how toxic Chuck can be gave the series direction again. The alternate future was genuinely scarring, and Eileen’s return was genuinely moving. Most of all, though, Cas got the opportunity to tell Dean no, that Dean was being unfair to him, had always been unfair to him, and he was sick of it. I had no illusions, I knew Destiel was never gonna happen, and Cas was gonna die, but giving him that bit of agency, letting Cas grow and be self-sufficient, and be angry with Dean not for existential reasons but interpersonal ones, was such a good sign for me, and Dean grew too! Dean fucking apologized for being horrible and Jensen Ackles had a...yknow what, ill give it to him, he had a good acting moment. 

But the thing. About. The “I love you.” 

Let’s take it in parts.

What was good: I’m gonna admit it, lads, “Wanting what I can’t have” - AS A LINE - is good, and, structurally, there is something to the Empty Deal that could have been an interesting aspect of Cas’ arc when it comes to self actualization and being on even footing with Dean. The problem is, this is Supernatural, and that arc only comes up when I bring it up because character study, even in bad media, is fun for me. 

What was bad:

I mean. Like. All of it? All of it. 

Okay. Fine. I’ll be specific. 

Cas dies immediately when - possibly because- he is revealed as having feelings for Dean. They kill him as they queer him, that’s a Bury Your Gays Speedrun right there.

Like the least they could have done is have him mention it to someone in another scene or something to establish some romantic feelings on the part of canon a full episode beforehand. That would have been the literal bare minimum. 

When Cas starts praising Dean, for some reason both the writing and Misha’s acting take a bit of a downswing (from...where it already was). Cas, whose most powerful moment this season was acknowledging that Dean’s anger at him is cruel and unfair, flatly praises him for doing everything out of love and it reads with a misunderstanding of both Dean as a character and Cas’ understanding of Dean. Dean is angry! VERY ANGRY! And it’s a problem he needs to work on and rarely does. 

Talking out of my ass, a better speech would have been about how Dean is angry because of his love for Sam, family, and the people around him, how, for better or for worse, he can’t help but be angry on behalf of others, and that his journey of moving that tendency towards the better is what made Cas care so much. Guys this alteration to the metaphor took 2 minutes to write tops I am an Art History student and these are TV WRITERS WITH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE CAN YOU TELL THEYRE NOT TRYING YET? 

A better speech would, of course, have come out of a better series. My point: this part was half-assed. Poorly written. Wow it’s almost like the series is also poorly written. 

 Also, Misha is the better actor of the three(***OF THE THREE), but his choices in that scene are jarringly out of character which. Makes the bad writing worse. It doesn’t help that they cut to the same fucking shot of Dean 3 times. The chemistry in that scene makes it feel so fucking hackneyed. Because it is. 

This combines lead me to the point: (wait there was a point to this?)

As someone who does not have the luxury of watching this capsized ship fall into boiling seas from a distance, it is less insulting to me that they did this so last minute and then sent Cas to the Void than it is how they did it. They had ingredients for something that could have been compelling enough to me as a former fan of the show to think that they had put effort into it, that they had decided months, perhaps even years ago to do this, and had crafted a storyline around it. That this was an intentional decision they cared about. It wasn’t. It was barely even pandering, because it’s almost insultingly blatant. 

SPN kinda proved to me that it didn’t care about queers when Charlie was killed off. It proved it to me again when Cas, not only died in confessing his love for Dean but did it in the weakest result of what could have been a surprisingly strong story.

[meow-face]

All the fandoms I’ve ever considered myself to be a part of

-Frozen - Age 12-Age 12 - (2013)  - What can I say. I was 12, I saw Frozen. Obsessed over Elsa for a couple months. That was just the tiny bit of lesbian in me jumping out from behind the ace-ness for the first time. -Inside Out - Age 13-Age 14 - (2014-2015) - I saw Inside Out. I was 13. Obsessed over Joy for a few months. Sounds as cringy as it was. That was also the second time the tiny bit of lesbian in me jumped out. -Minecraft: Story Mode - Age 14-Age 14 - (2015) - It doesn’t get more cringy than this. I don’t know why I fixated on it as long as I did. But I did. It was bad, as in really really painfully cringy bad. I also made my tumblr account during this obsession. Actually made some posts about it. (Which are all long gone now) -Star Wars Rebels & The Clone Wars - Age 14-Present - (2015-Present) - Finally a good one. I’m not obsessed over them anymore, but I still like them. Especially with the last season of The Clone Wars. That hurt pretty bad. And Ashoka Tano is still one of my all time favourite fictional characters. -Harry Potter - Age 15-Present - (2016-Present) - It’s Harry Potter. I finished reading the books when I was 15. I have since disowned JK Rowling, but the story and characters still speak true, for the most part. I am a Ravenclaw! -Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) - Age 15- Present - (2016-Present) - Saw Spider-Man Homecoming. Loved it. Watched the rest of MCU. Loved it. Couple years later, watched Infinity War and Endgame. Was crushed, but loved it , for the most part. I’m not quite obsessed anymore, but I still like it a lot. Spider-Man is my favourite superhero. -Dan and Phil - Age 16-Present - (2017-Present) - I wasn’t ever really obsessed, but I watched their videos and followed a few fan pages on Instagram. Still watch Phil’s videos when he uploads. -Jacksepticeye & Markiplier - Age 16-Present - (2017-Present) - NOT Septiplier. I just discovered them both at the same time. Like the last one, I’ve never really been obsessed. I just enjoy their videos. Ethan too, now! -Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - Age 16-Present - (2017-Present) - Yeah, I just really connected to Newt Scamander too much. The first movie made me fall back in love with the whole Harry Potter universe for a bit. The second movie lost my interest after a week. Still like the characters, though. -The Greatest Showman - Age 17-Age 17 - (2018-2018) - Ah, my introduction to musicals. Did you know there’s actually a surprising amount of fanfiction for this one? I basically spent a summer break blasting “From Now On” in my headphones at 3 AM every night. -Mary Poppins - Age 17-Age 17 - (2018-2019) - I saw Mary Poppins Returns. My brain went: “ooh, possibly ace immortal woman who can do magic?” And I ran with it for a while. -This is where my brain went dark for a few months. Nothing new from any of my fandoms for ages, the online communities of all of them were beyond dead, and I was just disinterested in everything. My brain had nothing to fixate on, so it started to fixate on scary things. This went on for about 4 months, from January 2019 until late April 2019. It got really bad. -Sanders Sides - Age 18-Present - (2019-Present) - My savour fandom. My main fandom. I’ve never been completely obsessed with any fictional work for this long before. I saw the video: “Tongue Twisted - A Speaking Backwards Challenge” on my YouTube recommended, recognized Thomas from Vine, and thought “what the heck”. Watched the video. Laughed hard. For the first time in 4 months. Accepting Anxiety Part 2 was recommended next. Thought “hey, I’ve been dealing with a crazy amount of anxiety lately, how convenient!” Watched the recap, realized there was a first part, clicked on that and watched the first part first. Then watched the second part. Then watched the rest of the episodes and the rest of Thomas’s videos. Reactivated my Tumblr account. Started drawing again. Found a lot of new music I loved. Started performing much more confidently. Accepted every part of my sexuality and started the (ongoing) process to figure out where I am on the gender spectrum. I know a lot of people say Thomas & Sanders Sides saved them, and I know it’s usually a factor of a lot of things. But really, discovering Thomas Sanders kicked off a recovery process for me. With the videos talking about mental health, to just Thomas and how amazing he is, and of course the fandom, which is where I got actual support and nice comments on my art for the first time ever. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t discovered this Thomas when I did. 

Of course, disclaimer, I was in the process of getting professional mental health help before this pandemic happened. You cannot just rely on fandoms, or YouTubers forever. All I’m saying is Sanders Sides and Thomas significantly helped in starting my recovery. Also just a reminder if anyone ever wants/needs to talk to someone, I’m more than happy to.

❤️ 

[setsureadsshit]

Lost At Sea: A List of WIP’s I am finally letting go of [ Part 1 ]

Finally going through my subscriptions on AO3 and clearing out the fics that haven’t gotten an update in too many years or have been orphaned since the last time I looked at them but what chapters were posted are worth reading as long as you don’t mind being left frustrated. Could also be considered a final plea and/or thank you/love letter to the authors for having written them at all, I don’t know how many parts this will take because I have like, 7ish pages of subscriptions on AO3 lmao so just, you know *hand waves* settle in the ride with me.

With the Bodies in the Gutter by TriDom

Summary: Derek works with the FBI to dismantle sex trafficking rings from the inside out. It's grueling, but he never believed that the wear on him outweighed the good he and his team did. Until he finds his mate with a new group that had been taken. He jeopardizes everything to get him out, only to have to turn his back on him before his mate is even awake.

Last Update: 2017

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf; Sterek

Personal Notes: At 16 chapters it gives you enough progress to kinda feel satisfied. It dropped off at a kind of lull before ramping up into the next crisis action which also helps I think. Only mildly unsatisfying for not getting to the true “happy ending” but I’m not mad about it.

Where Is My Bright Future by Steamcraft

Summary: au: Derek and Stiles meet at a German camp.

“My name…” The boy trails, then grimaces. “Stiles Stilinski.”

Derek’s eyebrows rise. “Stiles. Nickname?”

Stiles nods. “You English, how is it… Butcher.”

That surprises a laugh out of him. Stiles looks startled at the sound, heart racing, before he tentatively smiles.“You laugh, but its true.”

Last Update: 2015

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf; Sterek

Personal Notes: I read this a long time ago and I remember it being both really good and really heavy but also getting a little lost in the middle. It’s got 14 chapters though so, like the fic above I feel like it’s a satisfactory read even if there isn’t a real ending.

When Sparks Fly by LunaCanisLupus_22

Summary: “Derek,” Stiles thunders. “Were you ever going to tell me your house is trying to hook us up?”

Derek's head snaps up, eyes wide and scenting the evident crackle of magic in the air.

Or the one where spark!Stiles moves into an enchanted apartment block owned by a grumpy alpha and is completely oblivious to the building's efforts to matchmake them.

Last Update: 2016

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf; Sterek

Personal Notes: This one is a little harder to categorize because it started out as a like, 2 chapter completely completed fic - and then the author came back and added more? So it’s unclear if they plan on coming back and adding more again since they’ve left it uncompleted but you know *hand waves*. In any event, it’s a definite good read, one of my favorites, highly recommended.

Where A Mask, Be A Hero by A_Whistful_Writer

Summary: Oliver Queen had started a crusade in his father’s name, alone. It was bitter, harsh and unrelenting. He was left with scars and bruises that only seemed to double with each passing day. But then he found companions in his fight. Laurel, Diggle, Felicity, Roy. They made things more bearable, and for a while, he was happy, even though there was a gaping hole in his heart. Something was missing.And that was when Oliver met Barry Allen.

Last Update: 2018

Fandom & Main Pairing: Arrow/The Flash ; Flarrow

Personal Notes: It’s honestly just a retelling of the first however many seasons of each show but with a little more OTP filling. The later chapters kinda lost the plot and I was hoping it’d pick up again and really start rolling but I’m throwing in the towel on this one. 

The Fault Is Not In Our Stars - Orphan

Summary: After a long and wretched campaign, Asgard has conquered Jotunheim. To ensure King Laufey's cooperation and later friendship between the kingdoms, Asgard takes home the apparent heir to the throne, Loki Laufeyson. Loki is, unfortunately, anything but complacent.Based on the art by stunningly talented Wantstobelieve: http://wantstobelieve.tumblr.com/post/18102496999/guess-who-just-watched-troy-again-yup-that

Last Update: 2013

Fandom & Main Pairing: Thor ; Thunderfrost

Personal Notes: I had hoped this would be a case of the author regaining their writing inspiration with a new Thor movie on the horizon and promptly forgot about it for...a long time, lmao. I’m glad that the author chose to orphan the story instead of simply deleting it because it may only be 8 chapters but they’re very well written and the story is compelling, even unfinished.

Time Will Crawl by coldhope

Summary: Inspired by one of kaciart's amazing drawings: the Winter Soldier faced with a pre-serum Steve Rogers and--conversely--1940s Bucky Barnes coming home to find Captain America lurking in the kitchen.

Last Update: 2014

Fandom & Main Pairing: Captain America (MCU) ; Stucky

Personal Notes: It’s only two chapters which isn’t long enough to *really* get attached to something but the concept was interesting enough to hold my attention/hope that it’d get continued. 

The What’s And How’s of Raising Werewolves by kit_cat

Summary: Stiles is twenty-five and shares his bed with a five-year-old werewolf who calls him mommy. This isn't how he expected his life to turn out.Or in which Derek is a kindergarten teacher, the Hales are alive, Danny is overly romantic for a five-year-old, and Stiles has somehow Magicked his way into being the legal guardian of three werelings all under the age of ten... and may or may not be on the run from a league of werewolf kidnapping hunters.

Last Update: 2017

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf ; Sterek

Personal Notes: So I’m...technically not giving up on this one since it’s gone 3 years between updates before and really like this story so I’m going to hold onto this hope for a little while longer but it’s a very very slim hope. This is a fic that does NOT leave off with a satisfactory feeling even though it’s 9 chapters in, those 9 chapters really are just the place setting and maybe a charcuterie board or two while guests mingle but you could start smelling the main course from the kitchen. 

Trust by trufflemores

Summary: "Barry reels Oliver in for a hug. Oliver grants him three seconds, pulling back with his own irrepressible smile, knowing he looks like young-and-in-love which is ridiculous because he's not. Maybe, a tiny, impulsive part of him argues, he wants to be."

Last Update: 2017

Fandom & Main Pairing: The Flash/Arrow ; Flarrow

Personal Notes: I have spent I don’t KNOW how many months on and off trying to find this fic again, only to discover I’ve had it the whole fucking time! Specifically, the way trufflemores describes how they interact - giving words to all of the silent conversations they have, how they translated Barry and Oliver’s body language to so perfectly into writing. Like, even after I stopped watching The Flash (and had long since stopped watching Green Arrow), I still watched the crossover episodes because watching Barry and Oliver (and later Kara) interact was always my favorite thing. Honestly, watching both teams together was always so much fun - the episodes were just fun, but I digress. I don’t honestly remember where this fic leaves off but it was fairly episodic so I don’t really know that it needs an end per say, reading it shouldn’t leave you too dissatisfied. 

The Propinquity Effect by SwiftEmera

Summary: Oliver Queen pretty much ignored his bisexuality, until he clapped eyes on Barry Allen.Unfortunately, Barry is a social pariah, and Oliver's mother is currently running for governor, so Oliver is pretty much trapped in the bisexual closet, unable to come out and associate himself with Barry for the fear of tarnishing his mother's campaign. However, when their teacher pairs the boys up to work on a Psychology project based around the subject of sexual attraction, Oliver's willpower to keep his distance is strongly tested.

Last Update: 2015

Fandom & Main Pairing: The Flash/Arrow ; Flarrow

Personal Notes: I’ve been re-reading most of these as a final send off but this one I’m just not in the mood for unresolved angst. It’s really well written, the characters are really well adapted for the AU, but just knowing it isn’t finished and probably wont ever be I don’t want to invest my energy into something that doesn’t have a conclusion - for better or worse and this is the kind of fic I *need* to have an end. 

[applekitty]

things that happened with me in the past 7 years

i feel guilty so i want to post this. it’s basically a confession post abt stuff i’ve done, stuff that’s happened to me, and general rumination on how my actions have affected people.

transparency is the thing i value most, and now that i’m comfortable to share with you guys my age, i think it’s important i share these things too.

keep in mind my memory’s a little foggy on dates so i can mostly only give approximations

content warning for MANY mentions of rape, grooming, mlp porn, and one passing mention on transphobic genderbend content. also idk if counts as it or not but just to be safe??? csa, bc it happened when i was a kid

there’s a tl;dr at the end, please at the very least read that before sending me any asks about this post 

i got my iphone 4s when i was late into being 12 years old, in preparation for 7th grade. my mom thought it was time for me to get a phone so she could text me if she needed to. so, i got a way to access social media. by the time grade 7 had begun, i’d gotten this thing called ‘virtual space’. you may better know this as ‘amino’ nowadays. but back in the day, there was only one. virtual space.

virtual space (2012-2013/14?)

this was an rp media app with the ability to add posts and add pictures. i didnt know about tumblr or really anything outside of facebook at the time, so virtual space was my main social media. i only have one person who i still talk to from my times in virtual space, and i think it’s safe to say both of us do not want to remember our time there.

virtual space was a very toxic place to be, and i was one of the most toxic people on there. i was very much an elitist, a grammar nazi, and all the worst of the worst. i was very snooty and very much up my own ass. i traced art, i pretended to be a scholar. 

i was nice enough to some people, but all in all, i saw myself as superior because i was ‘literate’ and others were ‘illiterate’. people who were unable to spell or write out long paragraphs like i was were seen as lesser by me, and i considered virtual space a place to assert my authority as the best writer. thanks to virtual space, i had dedicated myself to learning words, improving my writing ability, and dressing up my things with such elaborate purple prose that it’d make future me snore and die.

i did a ton of regrettable things (such as pretending i was a guy who’d gotten into a car accident purely for attention) while i was on my superiority spree. 

there, on virtual space, i found out about my little pony. the first thing i ever saw from the show was the flim flam brothers song. and i loved it. so i got into mlp, starting rping in mlp things alongside the normal fandomless things.

on virtual space, people would often rip things off tumblr to put into vs. this is where i learned of tumblr. i moved off of vs and moved onto tumblr. subsequently, it’s also where i got fully into mlp.

tumblr (2013-now)

on tumblr there’s not much i can’t say that isn’t talked about in the below parts. i do want to say, though, that there was a time in my life wherein i was following and reblogging rebornica content. they reblogged some.. questionable things that i think contributed to the below stuff. just slightly, but not a bunch. btw if you do go into there you may see some of the stuff rebornica reblogged, including a thing about genderbends? know that this is my opinion on genderbends lol

mlp (2012-2015)

when i first got into mlp, it was before the season 3 premiere. during that time, i was still on vs, but i switched over to tumblr i believe after the announcements and trailers for rainbow rocks came out. 

mlp ask blogs were very nice on the surface, but things like ask molestia, or ask discord whooves quickly were put into my youtube recommends. they were some of the most popular ask blogs, things that got praised; humiliation, rape, and molestation. those are the things that got you follows, those are the things that got you popular. i wanted to be popular. i was popular on vs, so i want to be here too.

if you know anything about the mlp community, there’s a reason why for that. porn is incredibly saturated in mlp, and there is a lot of rape content permeating the internet. if you need proof, just go ahead and find out what ‘fall of equestria’ is. that’s a popular au. and it’s no secret that rape is all over places like fimfiction.

~lewd mlp comic dubs~ in general were on youtube as well. they weren’t as much as a contributing factor, but their simple BEING THERE normalized the concept of ‘lewd being acceptable and beneficial for me to benefit off of’ into my mind. it was a gateway into what would further come.

mlp was my first introduction to explicit content. i was 12. it was untagged.

i opened up a multitude of ask blogs before i settled on my longest; ask shy sombra. this blog was trying to claim the fame of a inactive blog called asksissysombra. sissy sombra was an explicitly nsfw blog with rape fetishization. the blog is still up and not hidden by tumblr’s nsfw detector, nor deleted. it regularly clocked 200 notes a post. 

ask shy sombra was exactly like asksissysombra, though much more tame. the rape fetishization was used in such a way where it was entirely offscreen, and fairly vague. though, with specific follower milestones, i would draw semi-lewd drawings hinting at rape, and get notes for it. thankfully, the blog didn’t get far enough into its plot (as i restarted it a total of four times) to get to the parts wherein rape was around. i made ask shy sombra when i was.. i know in eighth grade. i think a little late into eighth grade. so i’d be 14.

ask shy sombra was my most popular blog, and garnered me about 1.5k followers over a 2(?) year run. this only encouraged me to produce more content. to get more followers. naturally, this fostered in my literal child brain that this disgusting content is a good thing to make because look at all the rewards its giving me.

i would draw a lot of things purely for the edge on this ask shy sombra, and treat serious topics like things to shock people. i was surrounded by people who’d praise me and draw fanart for me. i was collecting a fanbase by making extraordinarily shitty content. wasn’t even well drawn either, lol. 

i was drawing all this because i felt like i was mature and edgy for doing so, that by being dark i was better than others, that i had more substance, and that people would take me seriously. 

after a while, i made myself a nsfw blog. lots of other mlp ask blogs, aka basically all of them, had nsfw blogs. so, i got myself one. i produced almost exclusively rape content, both drawings and writings. i wanted to be even more edgy, and this was a place i could do it raw, uncensored. i could unleash true horror here, on a nsfw blog. it was so shocking, so awful! isn’t that what the mlp fandom is about? being twisted and fucked up and evil on sideblogs, making awful content to go ‘ooh how edgy’ at? nothing was barred. i was 14, maybe early into 15.

i knew (aka followed, because there was a whole underground mlp nsfw community) other people, who were significantly older, for their rape content as well. and there were lots of people to choose from. one i remember (even by url) drew horrifying depictions of rape in a painterly style. there were two others i remember the style of, but not the names. these three were my introduction to guro, which thankfully i did not indulge in. 

i wasn’t very active on my nsfw blog, at least. when i was, i was only there in bursts and never made anything too bad if i can remember right. most of it was just.. lewd faces or whatever. my art wasn’t good enough to get lots of reblogs in the porn sphere, thank GOD. i mass-deleted the content on that blog three times before i deleted the blog itself and never tried again. i never did like that nsfw blog.

unrelated, but i think the reason why rape as a concept in the mlp fandom is so wide spread, is because the fandom had mass produced it as a replacement for rough sex. it was just a more ‘erotic’ version of rough sex to them. a more intense version of sex, wherein tears and screams to stop were actually just lies, these creatures secretly were pleasured.

and, for people like me, it’s a good way to be the edgiest kid on the block. the more edgy you were in mlp, the more followers you were bound to get. the more attention you got. and it worked. i got so much attention. 

on christmas of 2015, i stepped away from mlp for good. 

in 2016, i deleted everything on ask shy sombra, (except for the follower milestones), and moved on.

psmd (2015-2017)

psmd was my new target. psmd was a lot more quiet. i hadn’t done much with psmd in comparison to mlp, as i kept most of my explicit content private. however, as some of my mutuals back in psmd would tell you, rape was not a thing i strayed from talking about here either.

leftovers from my time in mlp, sure enough, rape was in psmd as well. thankfully, it was not public, with only a select few having access to it. no one reprimanded me for it. i don’t blame them for not scolding me. what are you supposed to do to something like that? it’s nerve racking and disgusting and you just want to side-eye it and leave it alone. especially since i was most of these people’s friends.

‘private’ is a hard word to call the rape content i made for that one. because psmd’s fandom was very very, very small. there was one specific server for it with like. 15 people at most on it at one time. either way, i was making rape content for the same reason; to be the edgiest kid on the block. if you knew anything about my extraordinarily edgy psmd au, you’ll know i went all out on edge. just like with ask shy sombra, the attention-seeking for the au and the desire to get eyes on content went to the worst bottom denominator. it never went to children or whatever, though. 

making rape content actually wasn’t the main thing bad i did while in that fandom, no. mostly bc it was all decently private.

i was in the pokemon ask blog community for a short while. while i was there, i was an elitist and sort of a snob. i projected my insecurity onto the bigger blogs around me, simply because i wasn’t getting the attention i thought i deserved. in mlp, it was so easy to get followers. here? not so much. i wasn’t happy about people ‘suddenly ignoring me’, so i lashed out at the community.

people who were just having fun for the sake of having fun, i didn’t like those guys! nuh uh! anyways, i sealed myself off to my small community of psmd people until i eventually decided to leave psmd for kirby in the summer of 2017. that was when i’d watched the original pilot for the kirby anime.

kirby (late 2017-now)

kirby is currently the fandom i’m in. thanks to me squishing myself into the box of ‘make this worthy of being shown on 4kids as content’, i have solidified my content. though some of it, such as my old galacta work, zero percent chill, are a little eh and show remnants of who i once was. 

i’ve had a rocky transition period, however, and some individuals can attest to that, unfortunately. 

i’m glad i’ve been able to try to cope with my fandom-inflicted grooming. certain events and people have gotten me to really think about morality and my actions in the past, as well as about writing and the things they may teach people.

conclusion

amino taught me that being popular and the best was the most important thing. 

mlp taught me creating rape content was not only okay to produce in the most shock-factory way, but it got you popular, which is all i wanted in my 13 year old brain. 

psmd taught me that people will not object to rape content— but they will pretend you and your edgy bullshit doesn’t exist. certain things are excluded from that, like one particular fic. while it’s gone now, it did exist. people knew it existed. 

kirby taught me to sit down, shut the fuck up, and stop that shit. no one sat me down for it, i did it myself.

getting a few more years on me helped, lol

everyday im super duper thankful i was never groomed further past that into making incest or making pedophilic content. i’m also thankful that i got out of mlp. that my content never got truly popular in psmd. i’m thankful my grooming never got taken advantage of by any specific, older individual. i’m thankful my grooming wasn’t directly from an actual person who could’ve gotten me deeper into the mindset, wherein it’d be harder for me to get out of it.

my actions in mlp and psmd have undoubtably groomed people in the process, and for that, i’ll be eternally sorry. if you knew me during that time, with my shitty edgy-for-attention aus, sorry.

tl;dr:

when i was in the mlp fandom, i wanted to be popular and quick. i noted the most easy way to get popular, get comic dubs, get that Cool Praise, was to be edgy. and, ontop of that, one can also add in a layer of sexual assault for extra Brony Praise. 

i didn’t stop to think of why things like rape or sexual assault was so massed produced in the fandom, and i don’t think i cared either. i knew rape was bad and a disgusting and terrible act and it scared me thinking about it happening to me (because im a girl lmao), so i’d write it up as a hyper-angsty thing. oohh the angst, oh how sad, look at how horrible it is, this totally isn’t stroking a huuuugeee unnecessary angstboner for a EXTRAORDINARILY delicate REAL WORLD topic at all!! totally not disrespectful to ACTUAL VICTIMS at all!!!! not that it mattered how it was written up, certain people in the fandom liked it more when things were horrible, awful, and disgustingly violent or ‘egregiously angsty’ in regards to rape. rape and its ‘angsty’ content was normalized to me when, at bare minimum, i was 13.

i ended up making rape-related extremely edgy content in the mlp fandom and i got a lot of followers. 1.5k followers. i used the shock of offscreen rape as a way to.. well, shock people. and make a horrifying story that i wanted attention towards. the praise I got for being edgy and making rape content groomed me into creating more. being groomed by no one inparticular into making this content, but by a fandom, by the sheer amount of rape content and general porn being paraded around, that really fucked me up. 

when i was 15 (going on 16 in half a year), i transferred this mentality into other fandoms, trying to be the most edgy and shocking by using the actions of rape and sexual violence or even sexual trafficking as my vehicle of angst without thinking of what the writing of these subjects in such a way may say about me as a person. i didn’t care about that, i wanted to be the darkest, most edgy, most brooding. and I was, and I got mad when I didn’t get the 1.5k followers worth of attention that the mlp fandom was so willing to give me.

when i was 17, i transferred to kirby. and that’s when i realized all this edge-for-the-sake-of-edge bullshit needed to stop. i’d almost taken my extreme edge to kirby as well, but i doubled down on myself and quit that shit. thank god that i did that. i strickened myself to write g-related content with only minor, more moderate amounts of edge.

i’m now 20. i’m hypercritical of people who do the same things i did when i was younger, because hyperedge shit like the stuff i created makes me feel disgusting thinking back on it. i know i most likely groomed people into doing the exact same shit that i’d done with my presence, especially in the mlp fandom. and for everything i did, all the extremely insensitive content i made when i was younger, sorry.

i wanted to be transparent about this, and it’s important to me to be so. cards out on the table and such. if you feel uncomfortable about this new info and the things i did to get attention when i was younger, that’s completely understandable. feel free to unfollow / block me if that makes you more comfortable on this platform, even if we’re mutuals or friends.

[thedollarcrate]

50 Best Albums (That I Own on Vinyl) of the Decade

It’s hard to comprehend how much transpires over the course of a decade or wrap your head around how long (or short) of time that really is.

But what better way to try than to make a list!

Now, I know “Best of” lists like this one are inherently subjective – and probably say more about their maker’s preferences than actually reflecting the best music released in a particular time period. And, I’ll be the first to admit that the list below is incredibly limited, and that I need to widen my exposure to more artists and genres.

But hey, this is all in fun.

So feel free to debate, pick apart or share your own favorite albums from the past decade. But before you dive in, just a few quick points for context:

-I only ranked albums I actually own on vinyl released between 2010 and 2019, which limited my choices to about 170 records.

-I only ranked new music released this past decade, so no reissues or older material released for the first time (sorry Prince’s Piano & A Microphone and Originals).

-I first started buying vinyl around ’09-’10 and started off purchasing mostly new releases before my habits shifted and I started looking for older records. This shows in the list below – nearly a quarter of the albums below were released in 2010 and almost 70% from the first half of the decade.

And we’re off…

50. Centipede Hz, Animal Collective (2012)

Let’s be honest, it was impossible for Animal Collective to top a universally acclaimed and era-defining album – and it was unfair to expect them to. But maybe the continuous onslaught of bizarre and eclectic music found on Centipede Hz was just what we needed after all.

49. Singles, Future Islands (2014)

So much more than Sam Herring’s pelvis busting dance moves and “Seasons (Waiting On You),” every track on Singlesbursts with life and heart pumping  energy. To quote Letterman: I’ll take all of that you got.

48. Paul’s Tomb: A Triumph, Frog Eyes (2010)

I don’t think I’ll ever understand Carey Mercer’s lyrics, but I’m certain I’ll never tire of getting lost in his hidden words and knotty melodies.

47. Leaving Atlanta, Gentleman Jesse (2012)

Thirty seven minutes of Pure Power Pop Perfection (note the capital “Ps”).

46. Burst Apart, The Antlers (2011)

If there’s another album with a song titled “Putting the Dog to Sleep” that is as haunting and beautiful as this one, I don’t want to know about it.

45. Carrion Crawler/The Dream, Thee Oh Sees (2011)

With John Dwyer churning out record after record in the ‘10s, it should come as no surprise that at least one landed on this list (and they’re all great). Garage rock. Surf rock. Post-punk rock. Psych rock. Noise rock. Rock rock. I don’t care what you call it, Thee Oh Sees put the pedal to the metal on Carrion Crawler/The Dream, taking you for a wild ride that never lets up.

44. 1989, Taylor Swift (2014)

Irresistibly catchy, everyone needs to satisfy their pop sweet tooth every now and then. 1989 is so sugary, it might just give you a cavity or two.

43. City Music, Kevin Morby (2017)

The city. The countryside. A beach. Aboard a train. At the pearly gates. It doesn’t matter where you listen to City Music because Kevin Morby’s jams will immediately transport you to your own laid back, happy place.

42. Remind Me Tomorrow, Sharon Van Etten (2019)

You’ll regret it if you keep waiting to listen this powerhouse – and powerful – synth-soaked record.

41. You Want It Darker, Leonard Cohen (2016)

It doesn’t get much darker, bleaker or sparse than this, but I wouldn’t want it any other way from the masterful Leonard Cohen.

40. American Dream, LCD Soundsystem (2017)

Retirement never sounded so good.

39. Capacity, Big Thief (2017)

Quietly captivating, mesmerizing and elegant, Big Thief knock you out without you even realizing it.

38. St. Vincent, St. Vincent (2014)

Annie Clark’s shapeshifting album won’t only shred your face off, it somehow makes you feel smarter, too.

37. Before Today, Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti (2010)

So, so weird and so, so good.

36. Expo 86, Wolf Parade (2010)

Like #50, Wolf Parade might always live in the shadow and expectations of a towering classic, yet somehow Spencer Krug and Dan Boeckner still continually craft eccentric and bombastic rock albums. Expo 86 is no exception, and it is an underrated classic in its own right.

35. Golden Hour, Kacey Musgraves (2018)

Like a sunset or sunrise, Golden Hour radiates beauty and warmth with each of its glowing tracks.

34. Yuck, Yuck (2011)

Despite their name and its hideous album cover, there’s nothing gross about Yuck’s infectious indie rock.

33. Play It Strange, The Fresh & Onlys (2010)

I once saw The Fresh & Onlys play at a tiny club in D.C. It might’ve been the loudest show I’ve ever been to – my ears rang for days. This record is just as rollicking, hazy and good as that show was loud.

32. Natalie Prass, Natalie Prass (2015)

There’s a reason “Welcome to 1979” is stamped in tiny letters on this vinyl’s inner ring – it’s silky smooth, filled with impeccable soft ballads and finely tuned jams – and just a tinge of funk.

31. I Am Easy To Find, The National (2019)

Few bands matched the consistent output of quality albums in the ‘10s as The National. They had one heck of a run, and I Am Easy To Find was a fascinating way to end it – a 21st rock album that felt more complex and expansive than anything they’d done before.

30. Melodrama, Lorde (2018)

Everything a pop record should be and then some – bold, breathtaking and exuberant.

29. Just Enough Hip To Be Woman, Broncho (2014)

If you can’t tell from its playful title, this pop rock album wants nothing more than to have fun – and it succeeds on every level.

28. Avi Buffalo, Avi Buffalo (2010)

Sometimes all you want is a light, sunny and meandering album to wash over you and get lost in, and this one will do the trick every time.

27. Hippies, Harlem (2010)

Imagine a band practicing inside a garage inside a garage inside another garage and you’ve got Harlem. This is garage rock to the max – and at its rambunctious best.

26. Puberty 2, Mitski (2016)

It’s hard to describe Puberty 2. Sure, it might sound like simple dreamy indie rock, but it ebbs and flows in unexpected ways that leaves you guessing where it’s heading next.

25. mbv, My Bloody Valentine (2013)

Picking up right where they left off – even if it was more than a decade later – My Bloody Valentine reminded everyone why they are the masters of reverb soaked shoegaze.

24. A Moon Shaped Pool, Radiohead (2016)

Even after all these years and albums, Radiohead still found a way to reinvent themselves and push the boundaries of rock music – and our expectations of them. With gorgeous arrangements and slow-burning, tension filled tracks, AMSP proves that even Radiohead can still take risks – and proves rock bands can make quiet, intimate songs sound epic. Oh yeah, and it has “True Love Waits.”

23. Art Angels, Grimes (2015)

Grimes gave us the future of pop music before most could even envision it. This laid the groundwork for all the challenging and intricate – and danceable – pop music that would follow. And it still sounds ahead of its time.

22. Meet Me At The Muster Station, PS I Love You (2010)

The first sounds out of Paul Saulnier’s mouth on Meet Me At The Munster Station aren’t words at all but two short, ecstatic yelps. And this same boundless energy and passion bleeds through on every fuzzy, raucous second of every track. Did I mention there’s a song called “Butterflies & Boners”?

21. More Than Any Other Day, Ought (2014)

You really ought to listen to Ought if you aren’t already. Tim Darcy and co. sound a bit uneasy, paranoid and self-aware, but they make the most minute challenges sound so exhilarating and life-altering – even the struggle deciding between two percent and whole milk at the grocery store.

20. Lemonade, Beyoncé (2017)

All hail Queen Bey.

19. Twin-Hand Movement, Lower Dens (2010)

This album sounds like 2 am on a dark, rainy Saturday night – in the best way imaginable.

18. Tomboy, Panda Bear (2011)

You can always count on Panda Bear to make hypnotic, loopy electronic music sound so breezy and effortless.

17. Modern Vampires Of The City, Vampire Weekend (2013)

I don’t know why, but I want to dislike Vampire Weekend so much. But that’s impossible when their music is so damn good and every note sounds so neat and perfect.

16. Past Life Martyred Saints, EMA (2011)

Just do yourself and listen to this album please.

15. The Archandroid, Janelle Monáe (2010)

Blending too many genres to count, this is what I imagine music sounds like in space.

14. Carrie & Lowell, Sufjan Stevens (2015)

I’ll let you know how I feel about this one after I stop crying.

13. The Suburbs, Arcade Fire (2010)

It’s everything you either love or hate about Arcade Fire. Grand, sincere and sweeping rock that swings for the fences with every guitar chord, drumbeat and horn blast. I love it.

12. Silence Yourself, Savages (2013)

Savages grab you by the throat and never let go – this is one intense album.

11. Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes (2011)

This might be the epitome of ‘10s indie rock – and for good reason. Introspective, sensitive and searching for some greater meaning, Robin Pecknold holds nothing back and lays it all out on Helplessness Blues.

10. Kaputt, Destroyer (2011)

Dan Bejar is an enigma and seemingly reluctant rock star. I saw him perform an acoustic set where he spent a majority of the time playing with his back towards the audience (although in fairness, it was at a free outdoor show on a college campus with people mostly chatting obnoxiously over him), and yet it’s as if his creativity requires him to constantly release new albums and show them off. Kaputt is as equally strange and mysterious – and just as creative – as its maker.

9. Black Star, David Bowie (2016)

Take away the heartbreaking circumstances surrounding this album’s release and it would still be in the top tier of David Bowie’s extensive catalogue. Experimenting until the very end, Bowie morphed into something entirely new one last time. Part jazz, part rock and part I’m not sure what you would call it, the results were once again out of this world. He couldn’t give it all away, but we’re sure thankful for what he could.

8. Bon Iver, Bon Iver (2011)

Shedding the cabin in the woods vibe, Justin Vernon took a giant leap forward with Bon Iver and made ‘80s soft rock popular.

7. Celebration Rock, Japandroids (2012)

Perhaps the most aptly named album on this list, no other album exudes the joy of making music and rocking out with your buddy than this one. It’s hard to believe all that noise and energy comes from just two people.

6. Burn Your Fire For No Witness, Angel Olsen (2014)

Angel Olsen’s hypnotic and seductive vocals, lyrics and guitar suck you in immediately, mesmerizing you from the first gentle strums to the peaks and valleys of “Lights Out” and “Stars” all the way to the closer’s pulsing drumbeats and majestic piano.

5. Black Messiah, D'Angelo And The Vanguard (2015)

Oozing with cool, sexy and confident R&B funk, D’Angelo returned after 14 years with an instant soul masterpiece.

4. The Monitor, Titus Andronicus (2010)

It says a lot when a band can a.) make an hour plus punk rock record b.) loosely base it on the Civil War c.) quote Abraham Lincoln d.) close it out with a 14 minute track inspired by a famous naval battle and e.) still make you want to listen to it over and over and over again.

3. Lost In The Dream, The War On Drugs (2014)

The rare album that can feel vast and ambitious and yet deeply private and personal all at once. You really will get lost in these soaring songs.

2. Halcyon Digest, Deerhunter (2010)

At times perfectly melodic and structured and at others feeling on the brink of falling apart, Halcyon Digest is a paradox – sounding peaceful, bright and idyllic while also peering over the edge into something darker. This is a remarkable record from a remarkable band. If not for the abrupt end to the darkly beautiful closer “He Would Have Laughed,” Halcyon Digest sounds like it could go on forever.

1. Let England Shake, PJ Harvey (2011)

A stunning, thought-provoking, and moving – not to mention endlessly listenable – transcendent piece of art about life and the Great War. PJ Harvey doesn’t hold back on the brutality and absurdity of armed conflict, and the album’s devastating closing track – “The Colour of the Earth” – will linger in your mind long after the record stops spinning. As powerful today as it was eight years ago, this album will remain timely and important for years – and decades – to come.

[aleksiann]

I’ve always liked to draw and paint but I didn’t start regularly drawing until around 2010, heres a decade of progress (I didn’t necessarily pick my “best” pieces from any year though, just something I found reflective of that year). Scary, I can remember 2010 like it was yesterday. Going through a decade of art was weird!

2010-Nibbler. I learned to draw by drawing cartoon characters with a pencil. I was 12 and my first “sketchbooks” were lined school notebooks. By 2011 I was still drawing cartoons but on slightly better paper and began colouring them in. Futurama was my favourite show at the time and is still one of my favourites, so I thought this was a good reflection of it. I also drew a lot of horror movie posters in pencil in 2010!

2011- the Twisted Twins. My art was still basically just cartoons and horror posters, but I also started my first attempts at portraiture which I was INCREDIBLY nervous to do but it’s definitely helped me out tremendously. This is an early portrait featuring the Soska twins!

2012-Ginger Wolf. Experimented with pens a lot this year! Was gifted my first set of fineliners for Christmas in 2011, so 2012 was when I played with them a lot. This is one of the first drawings I felt genuinely proud of and wanted to show off, I still do like quite a bit. 14 year old me spent HOURS on it! Ginger snaps was my favourite movie for a few years, and stil is one of them and I’ve met some of my dearest friends over our mutual love for it!

2013-Courtney and Kurt. When I drew it I wasn’t a big fan of it but at the time it became my most popular drawing on tumblr! I was still into pens, and colour. I started using coloured pencils regularly, though this piece is just ink. I had always drawn musicians occasionally, and hole and nirvana were/are some of my favourite bands!

2014-Corky 2. This was my first full coloured pencil piece, with a fully rendered background (I had some some whales with backgrounds in 2013, but the backgrounds were mostly just blue or gradients!). I spent an ABSURD amount of time on this, probably 30-40 hours which for a 16 year old is a lot of dedication, I rarely spend more than 20 on any given piece now, at age 21. I consider this the peak of my whale “phase” (I still draw and paint whales but for a while I exclusively drew and painted whales!), Corky is my absolute favourite orca, and this piece was the most time I had ever spent drawing one.

2015-Sleater-Kinney. The beginning of my obsession with “style” and drawing more musicians and fan art once again. I wanted my pieces to look recognizable as mine which made me try out some different things, but mostly my “style” consisted of dramatic and sketchy inking and unconventional colour. I had a lot of fun with it for a couple of years but then I got over it. Style is cool and all, but trapping yourself into a style leaves little room for growth. I’m less hung up on style now, I like to play.

2016-Mabel and Me. It was hard to pick a piece from this year when it was a weird year for me. It was a transitional year, I moved out, went to university to study animal bioscience before transferring to art in 2017, and I started exploring new mediums, specifically watercolour. I thought about having a watercolour piece here, but in 2016 I also officially “adopted” my cat Mabel (she was a street cat I got to know in late 2015, and I finally got her vetted and licensed in January 2016), so I wanted to have a piece of her on here!

2017-cricket. A painting of Carrie Brownsteins dog. In 2017 I got my first set of professional grade watercolours and started painting watercolour pet portraits (still a very regular thing!) and became really comfortable painting dogs and cats. This was one of my favourites and was on my banner for shows for a while!

2018-Aimee Mann. Okay I probably should have put a dinosaur painting here because I painted a LOT of dinosaurs, but I think this shows a progression of how I became less concerned with consistent style as opposed to 2015. It’s a faux inkwash, half done in India ink and half watercolour. In 2018, after a full year of art school I became really interested in play and trying to make art that was interesting, even if it didn’t look like mine.

2019-Therese. I had a super hard time deciding what to put here!!! 2019 has been a weird year (I’ll do a year in review post next!) of lots of experimenting and lots of art block. My drawing professor this past semester really pushed me to do “weird” work and try new things and acted like a mentor and it felt good to challenge myself, though difficult. Rather than show any class work, I decided to go with the painting I most recently finished, a quick gouache study it Therese Belivet. 2019 was the year I started using gouache and I am utterly obsessed with it!

The 2010’s were weird, but they were my coming of age. I spent a lot of the decade really miserable and in isolation, however that did give me a lot of time to grow my fascination with art as a teenager. I’m hoping the 20s are better mentally, and full of artistic grow, and I can learn to balance all of the aspects in my life on a healthy and productive way..... but given a lot of people have rough 20s that’s probably wishful thinking!

[rioniarts]

welp, gang! not only another year is coming to an end, but it also marks the end of a decade. i’ve been drawing for over 10 years now, so i figured i should do a decade of art just to show off my work over the years!

if you want to read my retrospect of each year, it’ll be under the read more! heads up, it is a bit of a doozy.

TL;DR: just all around happy with how much i improved over the years and i can’t wait to see what 2020 will bring!

2009 (11-12 yrs old)      at this point, I’m on my second year of drawing (both traditionally and digitally!) This year mainly consisted of either oc art or drawings of my best friends at the time, but there was some fanarts sprinkled here and there. I also did my first animation piece around this time too tho it’s private now :3c i may show it off one day...

2010 (12-13 yrs old)     I got my first drawing tablet for Christmas 2009 and this is when i went ham on my digital drawings. this year was kinda weird i guess? i started experimenting a more cartoony style on some artworks, though the majority are still anime inspired.

2011 (13-14 yrs old)     ah yes...... the year i found out about homestuck.... well, i found out about it on the second half of the year. the first half was all about my ocs. this was because around this time (or late 2010? i dont remember exactly) i discovered flipnote hatena, where I did tons of animations including my ocs. but once i discovered homestuck, that was all i posted for a while lol. this was also the year I made my tumblr account. oh and I also lost my tablet pen for a few months so some of the drawings from this year were made with a mouse.

2012 (14-15 yrs old)     I started falling out of deviantArt and became more active on tumblr. I mellowed out on the homestuck drawings a bit and posted other stuff. this year was kinda similar to 2010, where my artstyle was kinda all over the place. the second half of the year I discovered a super obscure browser dating sim called Star Project and became a part of the roleplaying community so plenty of my artworks revolved on my muse Souta and the game as a whole. 2013 (15-16 yrs old)     this year was really quiet in terms me posting art. i had been constantly doodling both traditionally and digitally but I never got around to posting the majority of them. this was mainly because I was so busy with school. on the flipside however, I discovered Earthbound and i hecking fell in love with it ♥

2014 (16-17 yrs old)     still relatively quiet but i posted more than 2013 lol. Earthbound drawings galore! i also did posted more oc work, including my gal Usako. I haven’t posted her anywhere in a long time though. i have been redesigning her and i’ll show it off sometime in the future!

2015 (17-18 yrs old)     ahh, here we go! now we’re picking up the pace! i graduated from high school this year and started posting more often. splatoon came out this year and I was constantly drawing them squidkiddies! (tho tbh my rin and len drawing is my fav) this was also the year I got Manga Studio (an older version of Clip Studio Paint) but I still used Paint Tool Sai. this was also the first year i did commissions!

2016 (18-19 yrs old)     this year was really interesting tbh. lots of really neat works and i started to do more backgrounds. this was also the year I (attempted) to do my webcomic! i haven’t updated that thing in a long time tho. I want to reboot it one of these days. but anyways, good mix of fanart and oc works. really, this year was great.

2017 (19-20 yrs old)     this was the year i made this very art blog and my instagram account! (which i haven’t advertised here at all but here’s the link lol) i think it was around this point i found my own artstyle that i want to more or less stick to! of course, it was going to change overtime, but compared to the years prior, my artstyle at this point has been more consistent. this was also the year i attempted to start an oc askblog with a friend of mine but it haven’t gone far ;w; def want to try again one of these days!

2018 (20-21 yrs old)     this year was also really nice! i moved to a new university to get a major in animation. quite a few persona 5 and kingdom hearts drawings here and there since i was like love with both of those games (even tho kh3 wasn’t even out at that point, but i was still hyped omg) i also introduced Cimmaria and Nicktornal for a future story that i’m currently developing! i also made a full move to Clip Studio Paint after Paint Tool Sai wouldn’t load on my new computer.

2019 (21-22 yrs old)    last year of the decade and i left it with quite a bang! I def posted more often. i did missed a few months, but then i would come back with a bunch more works to post! I discovered Artfight from a friend so that kept me busy during the month of july! made a couple more animations too since of course i will be doing more of it for university. 

So, what’s my 2020 art resolution?

Def want to keep posting! try to go for at least 4 artworks per month, one for each week.

experiment more on backgrounds, perspective and composition!

post more oc artworks! i haven’t been posting much about them for the past few years but I really want to change that. there is one oc i am definitely introducing to you all! here’s a hint: it is a Dungeons and Dragons character. I will show them off when the time is right uwu

continue developing on story ideas and sticking to it! i’ve noticed that i usually start on projects only then to drop them later on. I really want to revive them and work on it!

continue working on animation! if all goes well, i’ll be taking animation classes in fall of 2020 so i need to start prepping more!

and of course, continue improving my art!

that’s all i have in mind! if you got this far, thank you guys so much for reading this wall of text lol. I promise that will do as much as I can to fulfill these resolutions! onwards to 2020 and beyond!!

[eye-of-enigmatic-thought]

2019, a retrospective to this year and decade

Long post in-comin’

I’m gonna be honest, I’m not really sure how to describe this year and by extension, this decade, I guess that’s to be expected in a way, so many things can happen in 365 or more days to the point of a information overload, but I suppose the best way to describe this year was ‘complicated yet also stale’. Not much happened in the beginning aside from therapy and support group appointments, which were pleasant albeit I don’t remember much from them aside from drawings I’ve done that I showed to the other members, nothing of significance happened that I can recall during the middle of the year, and around near the end I took part in art therapy groups that I managed to make a few friends out of (though I sadly don’t chat with them often), at September I was beginning to try and get into college after being out of education for a year and managed to enrol (though court issues made me miss the first five weeks that I had to quickly catch up to), most of my memories of this year actually came from college.

College has been going good, so far! I have been learning a lot and my tutors are very kind, of course it can get stressful due to the long days I have and also due to some of my more rowdier peers, but I’ve managed to also befriend a few others that I am very happy to have met. Currently I’m in my break and I will use it to advantage as much as I can to post as much art as I can.

Also, I’ve just recently been exploring my gender, and well, I’m now transmasc rather than a demigirl, I still go by whatever pronoun and still see myself as nonbinary, but I am more masculine leaning now? I guess I might be a ‘demiboy’ but I still feel a bit more ‘fluid’ than that, sooo... masculine leaning demifluid? I dunno, but overall I’m not a girl anymore! :D

Rebirth is still being rewritten, admittedly I haven’t been focusing entirely on it due to some things in the way, but some of that is now gone so really my only enemy is my lack of motivation and poor time management, but even times where I’m not writing and/or editing the rewrite I’m still thinking of how I want certain scenes to go or what things I want the characters to say, so it’s still being worked on! I do feel incredibly bad that I haven’t been doing a lot of my Undertale-related stuff lately or even attempting to at least finish off the HS’ blog’s first arc (I at LEAST wanna finish that arc before I go on a official hiatus to fully know what to do with it), but you can rest assured that I have NOT forgotten about it and I do want to continue on with it, I guess that’s probably one of my goals for 2020, ‘more Undertale fanart’, yes, good, very good, mwahahahaha.

And now, a little something more personal, mostly in regards to this decade as a whole. Warning for mentions and discussions of pedophilia, bullying, suicide, and trauma for the next three or so paragraphs.

(Warning starts here)

My memories from around the beginning of this decade are hazy, but very notable, I’m not going to sugarcoat it by saying that from 2010-2013 were some of my worst years of my life, I was only 11-14 around this time, but when I wasn’t going through awful bullying at school that the teachers did nothing about, I would come back home to a toxic friend circle on DeviantArt that was filled with constant irrelevant drama and some REALLY creepy adults that would do smut rps with the minors in our group. Thankfully I never was a victim of this due to mostly staying in my corner and didn’t interact with others much, but I saw it happen to many of the other minors in said group, it left me disturbed but I rationalised it by thinking it was just some ‘teenager thing’ that I was too young for (because I was a little cretin that lied about my age and said I was 13 when I was really 11 when I first signed up haha), it was only when I was late into being 17 I realised ‘Oh my god the people who I called my friends and RP’d with were pedophiles and groomed the other minors what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck’. 

This whole shitty ordeal with that dA friend circle and the constant bullying I went through in secondary school were so bad that it literally led me to have a suicide attempt at the age of 13, I survived of course, and I’m really glad I did, because I wouldn’t have met friends that through them I would manage to get away and abandon the old dA group because ‘fuck you guys I have BETTER FRIENDS NOW!’ Unfortunately all of that dA friend circle are now deactivated or are no longer active with all the evidence deleted so there’s no use making a callout or name dropping any of them or even searching for the other minors in attempt to rekindle with them (and I don’t think my heart would be able to handle it in that regard...), but I did find out that one of them who was a pedophile apologist at one point commissioned a ton of Darkrai pregnancy porn with one of it being fucking mpreg, so I can at least get a laugh from that shit, doubt she’s reading this but if you are... 

You may be gone, but your darkrai mpreg porn will live on FOREVER... Forever for ME to laugh at!!! >8DDD  So anyway get rekt and suck my non-existent dick you fucking creep.

(Warning ends here)

Phew alright, all that nasty stuff out of the way...   2014 was where things began to improve, I had moved secondary schools and I switched from a mainstream to a specialist school for other autistic children and I found the people who would become my closest friends, through one of them I also got a tumblr blog, and when Undertale came around (so late 2015 to around 2016 when the fandom was most active), through it’s fandom I managed to gain really kind and lovely friends that I love dearly, it’s somewhat strange to me, in the beginning since childhood I never had any close friends and the only ‘close’ ones I had were ones that either kept me around out of pity (because I was a awkward autistic kid), kept me around to constantly bully and push my buttons, or (in this case with the dA friend circle) were potential predators that I thankfully was never THAT close to, and actual close ones I lost contact with too quickly, to this day I’m so thankful for these friends and I dunno if they’d be comfortable with me namedropping them here, but if you’re reading this, you know who you are <333.

I of course had rough patches throughout the years, recovery from my traumas wasn’t easy and I was constantly having issues with pretty much everything from my mental health problems to environmental factors that were out of my control, I’m not going to go into detail on this one because this post is long enough already, but I am much better now than how I was when I was younger, I still have a long way to go, but I have definitely improved and I hope I can still improve, hell, I’ve even improved my art! Wanna see an example?

I drew this back in 2011 on mspaint on a mouse! Yeah! Can you believe that? Whilst to me my art right now isn’t exactly ‘artist goals’ I have definitely improved a lot since!! And I’ll keep on improving forever because that’s what this decade was like anyway! I’m not sure what the future holds, but I want to set these goals for next year:

Create more digital art Finish my unfinished short comic ideas and parodies Continue to chip away at Rebirth’s rewrite and finish Hissterical Scientist’s first arc. Work on my original stuff Continue to improve my mental health Get proper time management skills Learn to do commissions (I be gettin munz lol) Thank you to all my friends and family who have helped support me and stuck by me throughout all these years, I am so happy I get to spend a life with you and I hope we’ll continue to go through the future together, you mean so much to me and I can’t say thank you enough. Thank you to any followers who have sticked by me for so long and if you’re new, I hope we’ll make memories together! 

Onward and upward, and leave behind the pain! <3

[peekychu]

The history of my fursonas! 🐱

I’m in an especially infodump-y mood at the moment and I watched a video about fursonas that inspired me (Shoutout to Pocari Roo’s channel!) so here we go ^o^ 

Click under the cut to read the whole enchilada! (It’s a long post, make sure you have the appetite for it first xD)

I first learned about the furry fandom in about 2013-14 from some friends at school! Granted, the two teenage boys I talked to a lot were more obsessed with the... sexual side of that xD I won’t go into that though because that would involve me talking about more uncomfortable stuff >.> I also had another friend that was such a huge influence to me and they’re a big reason that I still draw fuzzy animals to this day! Their fursona at the time was named Icy and I thought that character was the freakin’ coolest. I remember going home after talking to them, filled with inspiration and making my very first fursona!

Her original name was Rogue Feather, but the name Scarlett came later and ultimately stuck way better! Her design was simple, a red fox with a purple bandana! Not much thought was put into her, I just put together what I thought a typical fursona would look like :P I didn’t draw her much since I was way more focused on MLP and my ponysona Starfruit, but I still enjoyed doodling her!

Shortly after Scarlett, I created Citrus the cat! To be honest, she didn’t really represent me other than being a cat xD Her design was actually based off of a girl that I had a crush on at that time, but that’s a whole other story >.>

Also, it was coincidental that Twinkie has elements from both of these beginning characters, I just noticed that making this post! I learned that I loved cats from creating citrus, and I loved drawing Scarlett’s wings and bandanas so I suppose it was natural that my current fursona would have all of these traits :P

Well, months pass after posting the first drawings of Citrus and Scarlett on my Instagram, and at this point I decided to try taking up digital art! I downloaded FireAlpaca for free (still my program of choice x3) and worked really hard at drawing with only my mouse!

My friend that inspired me to draw more furry characters had changed their fursona over from a bright sparkledog-ish color scheme to another character with muted browns and oranges. Inspired once again, I designed another cat character to represent myself!

Meet Macchiato (or Mac for short)! They were made when I switched my focus from My Little Pony to furry characters, and I moved from Instagram to DeviantArt as my main art site. 

When I made Mac, I was close to beginning high school and I questioned a lot about my identity, mainly my gender and sexuality :P For a period of time, I pushed aside my adoration for ponies, Pokemon and colorful things in favor of things I thought were “cooler” and more boyish. A large part of this was my complicated relationship with my gender identity, but also because I thought I had to act more mature... so I expressed this by drawing myself as a cat? It was complicated xD

Anyways, while I have a soft spot for Mac, they’re sort of my own Rex Dangervest if that makes sense :P I mean, they were my first expression of feeling neutral to gender which was a big deal for me, but when I look at their drab colors it sort of makes me sad that I didn’t have much fun designing them. (I did have a blast drawing that pixel reference though, I remember that xD)

I also created a few more furry characters just for the fun of it! I won’t post pictures of all of them for the sake of length, but they were Chamomile the fennec fox, Minx the cat, Caira the alien dog, Pfeffer the bunny, Flicker the bat (who I should draw again sometime >.>) Mitzi the dog and... Whatever animal Skyler was supposed to be xD I made all these characters before I attempted to make a fursona that I felt more connected with...

Along came Clash the cat, an even more depressing character than Mac for me to look at xD I was considerably depressed at this point from the pressure of high school and my identity issues, the droopy eyelids and chaotic color scheme of him sort of reflect this. 

It’s a good thing you can’t read his description in that screenshot, Believe me, but I think I should quote a part of it because it greatly represents how I felt about myself during the time period when I made him.

“If you were to dissect his brain, you’d see something much like somebody’s tangled collection of thread and yarn. Colorful, unkept, and full of pushed aside potential.”

Ouch!!

Well, after a period of depressing fursonas I played that one cat icon creator game that circulated on Tumblr for a while, and I made my favorite old fursona! I think that he had a lot in common with Twinkie and I used them more than everyone else beforepaw.

Here’s Cetrada, my little Nickelodeon slime cat xD I named them after the Italian citron-flavored soda that my friend Francesca (Love ya buddy!) sent to me in the mail! That soda is actually spelled Cedrata, the misspelling of the name was not a creative choice but an actual dumb mistake xP 

I genuinely still love this character, I nicknamed them Limey since it’s simple and cutesy like them, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever use them again. Think of them as teenage Twinkie I guess xD I love ya Cetrada, you were a good kitty <3

Eventually Cetrada grew stale for me and I went through a couple of other fursonas. I don’t have much to say about them since they were pretty short lived, but I’ll post a single picture of each of them! I’m getting a bit tired of making mini collages of them anyways :P

While Reese’s design and colors are a bit awkward, I genuinely adore their mini companion Mallow the bat :P They look like pistachio pudding, what a cutie!

Ugh, this fursona stresses me out to look at too xD I mean arguably they’re the closest in design to Twinkie (yellow cat with angel wings and star knee markings) but they remind me of a rough time I suppose? I drew a couple pictures of them looking more sexualized and with a more slim body type when in reality I was overweight and scared of intimacy... they just remind me of an unhealthy period of my life @_@ I must have felt that too though, I dropped this fursona pretty quickly.

I do actually like Kit even though I used him very briefly, I was starting to have WAY more fun with bright colors in my drawings! Sure he’s a bit too pastel 2015 Tumblr, but I do still like that pink and yellow combo ^w^

Eventually I grew sick of my DeviantArt and mostly just posted art on my main Tumblr where I got super into the kidcore scene! I had rediscovered my love of fun colors and sparkly eyes, kidcore sparked a new me! I wasn’t doing fantastic in life, but I developed more optimism and a genuine love for simple things which grounded me a lot. This was such a wild part of my life, through reblogging pictures of rainbows and Pokemon and slime I gained over 2,000 followers O.O Two of my closest friends told me that they found me by my influence in the kidcore Tumblr community back around 2016 and were intimidated to talk which is just nuts to me x’D

Anyways I’ll try not to go on a tangent about that anymore, but 2016-17 was wild! I should give a shoutout to my very first sparklesona Cosi, but he was made only barely before my true fursona...

That’s right babey, the one... The only!!!

HE’S FINALLY HERE! Twinkie, the fursona I truly felt a personal connection with. I mean, he’s everything I love bundled into one! Pikachu has been my hugest comfort ever since I was four years old so naturally I would have to incorporate it into my fursona somehow! I also gave him a bandana, my favorite accessory to draw on furry characters, and wings! Of course I love rainbows too so I gave him rainbow wings..... But I tweaked his design since the colored wings made him more bird-like. Nothing against birds of course, but I thought plain white angel wings were simpler and more iconic for him! I did give him a touch of rainbow later with his tag design! I also scrapped his red dot eyebrows and his tail bandana, but overall I loved the character I made! I was thrilled to have a fun cartoon kitty that I could use to express myself :3

Before him my only true-feeling ‘sona was Starfruit the pegasus, it was fulfilling because I feel like when I made Twinkie, I started to find myself! 

Twinkie did go through a couple redesigns including a semi-drastic color change sometime in early 2018, but I really do feel content with the way he looks right now! In Twinkie I see friendliness, optimism, and a caring heart which is what I strive for! He represents the journeys I took to be more comfortable with myself and he radiates the confidence that I hope to achieve one day as well >:3 I mean it is possible I could change him for a new fursona or even flat out drop him in the future, but after 3 strong years I think Twinkie will stay a part of me for a while ^w^

Anyways, if you’ve read all of this, THANK YOU!! This was a really personal post and I think it’s fascinating to look at my own self progression this way, I hope somebody gained something from this but if it was just for me that’s okay too xD

If anyone read all of this looong post and wants to make a similar post, PLEASE tag me! I’ve been so interested in fursonas and how people see/represent themselves through cartoon animals, isn’t it a wild phenomenon?? 

If you don’t feel like making a big post like I did though, you should reply with some cool facts about your fursona or count how many you’ve made in the past xD That would be rad <3

[yuvilee]

29th October 2019 Student-led seminar 2

Text: Siegel, D. (2009) ‘Designing Our Own Graves’, in: Armstrong, H. (ed.) Graphic Design Theory : Readings From the Field, Princeton Architectural Press, New York, pp. 115-118. First published: Siegel, D. (2006) ‘Designing Our Own Graves’, Design Observer, 27 June. Available at: https://designobserver.com/article.php?id=4307 (Accessed on: 27 October 2019)

Table of content:

Introduction - Have a butcher’s Main part:  The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker The greatest thing since sliced bread - The art of self-promotion Conclusion -  Digging it Notes: Books and articles Pictures

About the author: Dmitri Siegel is a Creative Executive with more than ten years of experience leading and modernising brands, building teams, making change, and driving growth. Brand strategist, marketing executive, creative director, design leader, P&L owner, whatever. Currently inspiring the world to listen better with Sonos(1).

Introduction - Have a butcher’s

Siegels essay was first published in 2006, but looking at the questions on the DIY society it seems like he had foreseen how social media, digital availability and appearance would shape our life and work these days: creating own content.

Those early signs were already visible in 2003. Back then, my arts and design tutor told us in one of our design-related courses about recessions and smaller businesses. ‘If an economy is in recession’, he said, ‘one of the first things to get cut are advertising through graphic designers.’ His cautionary tale was about a butchers who would rather create his own advertisement instead of investing in a graphic design studio. It might not look elaborate or clean but it still works. Sales would not go down drastically and he would advertise his offers with self-written promotions. The numbers would show in his favour and reassure him to go on like this, he argued.  

My tutor was not totally right but also not totally wrong with his bleak prediction as the progression from Flickr and MySpace (which Siegel provided as examples) advanced to easy manageable website creation tools from companies such as Wix.com, Squarespace, GoDaddy and similar - and they are growing constantly. 

The butcher, the baker and the candlestick-maker

Never was creating a website easier. And it is free on top - if you choose the smallest offer and depending on the selected provider. You do not get printed flyers and a business card, but you can even create your own logo.

For a small business it seems to be more lucrative and less complicated to build their own website. It makes sense as they are also in total control over the content and display. It seems like grammar-checking became less important as long as the layout is clean, the pictures are appealing, and the text is short enough to be read in three seconds(2).

The revenue those companies create are supporting the theory how accessible and appealing it became to build your own online appearance. Just to give one example, in 2017, Squarespace was estimated to have a value of $1.7 billion(3).

Nowadays, the challenge doesn’t seem to be a webpage anymore but rather a well thought out social media presence and a good looking portfolio. Same goes for the creatives like designers, photographers, and illustrators.

Above: My screenshot of Jullien, J., Peace for Paris, (2015)

Above: My screenshot of Jullien, J., Peace for Paris, shown by The Telegraph, (2015)

The greatest thing since sliced bread - The art of self-promotion

You are a good designer, tattoo-artist, illustrator, restaurant- or flower-shop owner if you at least have an online appearance, if you can be reached on Twitter and/or Facebook, and if you have good reviews and show your work on display over platforms like Instagram. Every self-promotion guide will tell you that. 

Those guides tell about creating an own brand, a distinctive logo, a signature and especially for illustrators it seems like people want you to create new content in your signature style.

In a best case scenario, your picture goes viral and you become famous overnight, like Jean Jullien’s Eiffel Tower/Peace Symbol in 2015 (as seen above) after the terror attacks. He posted his picture on his social media accounts on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. The image had been shared over 60,000 times on Twitter, and millions of times more via other accounts of people who had copied and shared the image(4). 

Another case in point in the realm of illustration I’d like to write about is Shencomix. His Facebook account goes back to the 21st February 2013. He is known for emotional comics everyone can relate to. Since then he got himself established as an illustrator with merchandise purchasable in his online-shop. He got famous as people are posting his comics on all available social media (Tumblr, /reddit, Twitter, …) since they are little, curious snippets right out of every-day life that many people can relate to easily. From simple comics to his own brand: 

Above: My screenshot of shencomix, no title, (2016)

Above: My screenshot of shencomix’s online-shop, (2019)

There are numerous similar stories of equal success stories. But getting back at Siegel’s question ‘Does that coffin have your career's name on it?’, sure there are ways to undersell your work (such as Fiverr) but I would tend to disagree. It has rather shifted and with this it has also opened up new possibilities.

Above: My screenshot of aitchmade, fun at the mall, (2012)

Above: My screenshot of lisa_quine, mural, (2018)

Conclusion -  Digging it

What I am getting at: social media has opened up new possibilities for illustrators but they require to be on top of them all the time and producing non-stop, ideally always in their own unique style. The AOI and agencies are constantly on social media, looking for new talents. Only if someone has a great and distinct portfolio, it is possible that they will be approached.

So are designers really digging their own graves or just following up with the changing advertising world? Companies like Wix and GoDaddy still work hard to create easily accessible websites but in fact not every small business has time or patience to create their website themselves. In the end they still need great content like photographs and text. Copy Writers and photographers might still find lots of job opportunities there while illustrators and graphic designers could still offer to create the websites. With the new emerging hype around hand-lettering and small illustrations such as Jean Jullien’s, with online short comics or long-running online graphic novels we are still in a position to find work if we make ourselves visible enough to be found.

Unrelated: I did enjoy Siegel’s Spotify lists I found on his web-page while writing.

Notes:

Books and articles

Siegel, D. (no date) Dmitri Siegel about. Available at: https://www.dmitrisiegel.com/ (Accessed on: 27 October 2019). And yes, the ‘whatever’ part is on his webpage.

The belief of a three second memory capacity of a goldfish has been busted as a myth. Cf. Simpson, A. (2009) ‘Fish’s memories last for month, say scientists’, The Telegraph, 07 January. Available at: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/4158477/Fishs-memories-last-for-months-say-scientists.html (Accessed on: 27 October 2019).

Vynck, G. (2017) ‘Squarespace Raises Funding at $1.7 Billion Valuation'. Bloomberg. 14 December. Available at: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-12-14/squarespace-is-said-to-raise-funding-at-1-7-billion-valuation (Accessed on: 27 October 2019).

Nudd, T. (2015) ‘How a Designer’s ‘Peace for Paris’ Sketch, Made in Minutes, Became a Global Symbol’, Adweek, 16 November. Available at: https://www.adweek.com/brand-marketing/how-designers-peace-paris-sketch-made-minutes-became-global-symbol-168150/ (Accessed on: 27 October 2019).

Pictures

Jullien, J. (2015) 'Peace for Paris' [Instagram]. 13 November. Available at: https://www.instagram.com/p/-CvRmhhFJP/ (Accessed on: 28 October 2019).

Before long, this digital image made its way into the real world from a peace vigil in Kathmandu (top left), onto the streets of Paris (bottom left) and to vigils in Hong Kong (top right). Reuters/Getty/Instagram/Twitter/Facebook (2015) [Screenshot]. Available at: https://s.telegraph.co.uk/graphics/projects/paris-attacks-tributes/index.html (Accessed on: 28 October 2019).

shencomix, (2016) no title, [Instagram]. 30 November. Available at: https://www.instagram.com/p/BNcbN6nABUo/ (Accessed on: 28 October 2019).

shencomix, (2019), [Screenshot]. Available at: https://shenstuff.com/ (Accessed on: 28 October 2019).

Aitchmade’s fun at the mal, (2012), [Screenshot]. Available at: http://aitchmade.blogspot.com/2012/03/fun-at-mall.html (Accessed on: 28 October 2019).

lisa_quine, (2018) ‘no title’ [Instagram]. 19 June. Available at: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkMPg0FFSXB/ (Accessed on: 28 October 2019).