#anyway. looking back on all this makes me feel incredibly soft about myself. this little guy didnt know what he had comin

[jacqal]

fursonas from each year between 2013-2021 (except for 2015 which was simply a bad and evil year) because fuck it i deserve to celebrate myself a little („• ֊ •„)

[homestylehughes]

wanna bet?

quinn hughes x fem!reader

summray: you make a bet with quinn, which of you will win?

wc: 2.9K

warnings: nsfw 18+ smut, unprotected sex, p in v (practice safe sex guys!), oral fem receiving, spitting, cussing, dirty talk. there's some plot but it's mostly smut.

an: OH BOYYYYYY... i'm a little nervous to post this... GULP. it's my first time writing smut, so hopefully you guys all enjoy!! it took me like 4 hours LOL! writing smut is hard guys... thank you to all of my smut writing warriors. ALSO i tried my hand at making a header for my work, i kinda like it?? i cant tell if i ate or not..LMFAO. anyways im done yapping. like and reblog if you like, as always much love as always.

happy reading <3

“We should make a bet.” I say to Quinn as we’re getting ready for a home game between the Canucks and Winnipeg Jets. 

He looks at me confusingly as he finishes tying his tie in the mirror. “What kind of bet are we talking about?” he mutters back. “I don't know, something spicy and fun '' I say, as I make my way over to him to fix his crooked tie. 

“Hm..i like the sound of that” quinn says, as he rests his hands on my waist pulling me closer to his body.  I chuckle at his sudden change in interest, finally fixing his tie, I rake my eyes over his face. 

“I have an idea,” I say as our eyes remain locked, “and what's that baby?” Quinn says, I can feel his gaze now locked on my lips. 

“If you score tonight, i'll let you do whatever you want to me.'' I say, as I slowly trace my hands around his neck to play with his hair, leaning my body further into his. “if you don't score, i get to do whatever i want to you, but you can't touch.” 

I can feel quinns breath hitch in his throat, as I press myself completely against his front, planting soft kisses down his neck and across his jaw. His hands moving from my waist, to my ass, griping is hard and pulling me even tighter against him. 

Quinn tips his head down to try and connect our lips together, I quickly move my head to avoid his kiss. “How do those conditions sound?” I say, looking at quinns now flushed state. 

“They sound really good, baby, they would sound even better if you'd let me kiss you.” he says, slowly moving our faces closer together. 

I slowly shake my head no, as I pull myself apart from him. “ I have to finish getting ready, and so do you.” I say, while looking at a wide eyed, flustered quinn. 

“You actually hate me, don't you?” Quinn says, looking at me, still wide eyed. “no i don't, i just like making you suffer.'' I grin back at him. 

“So are we shaking on this?” Quinn says, finally collecting himself. Without a word I held my hand out to him, waiting for him to grasp it. Our eyes are locked, as Quinn pulls his arm forward, his hand finally finding mine, pulling it into a firm handshake. “you're on Hughes,” I said to him. “No you're on, I'm scoring tonight, just for you baby '' Quinn says grinning at me like a kid in a candy store. 

I step forward and press a sweet kiss on his lips, pulling away before he has the chance to deepen it, “may the best man win” i say before turning away from him, to finish getting ready. 

I'm nervous, not for the game, but for tonight. My nerves are getting the best of me as I sit in the stands waiting for the puck to drop. My eyes follow Quinn as they warm up on the ice.

 I'm starting to think I'm a dumbass for even betting on this. Quinn is super competitive, he's not going to let me win, but damn do I want to win. 

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my head, I settle in my seat, gaze locked on ice as the first whistle signaling the game has begun goes off. 

      This is going to be a long game, a long night, I think to myself. 

The Canucks win in a shutout, 5-0. I couldn't be more proud of them as they skate off the ice. Most importantly I couldn't be more proud of myself for finally winning a bet against quinn. 

They played an incredible game tonight, with 5 amazing goals, not none of those coming from quinn. I couldn't help but secretly be happy that he didn't score. 

I leave the stands and make my way towards the locker room, waiting for Quinn to finish up with getting ready and press interviews. Around 45 minutes later, I see Quinn make his way towards me. I open my arms to him, grasping him in a hug, “good game baby” I say to him as he pulls away, whispering a small “thank you” in my direction. 

We start to make our way to the parking lot, silence surrounds us, it starts to make me nervous. “Any updates on Thatcher?” I ask, who went to the locker room during the second period, with an injury. “We don't know too much right now, hopefully we get some updates tomorrow morning on his status.'' Quinn says as he throws his bags in the back seat of the car, before sliding over to open the passenger door for me.

 “Hopefully he’s okay, I'm sure he is. He's a tough guy, keep me updated when you get any information." I say to Quinn, as he's pulling out of the parking lot. “I will.” he says shortly. I frown at his shortness, in the conversation. 

“Are you okay?” i ask him quietly, “yeah, im okay.” he replies back quickly. Not wanting to push, I decided that's a good enough answer, keeping my gaze locked on my lap the whole way home. 

The car comes to a stop, signaling that we made home. I quickly got out of the car, wanting to escape the tension that was starting to suffocate me. Unlocking the door quickly, speeding my way upstairs to the bathroom, not even looking back to see if Quinn was behind me. 

Closing the bathroom door quickly, I take a deep breath to regain my thoughts. Is Quinn mad at me? Is he upset over Demko? Upset that I won the bet? Upset that he didn't score? I don't want him to be upset with me, especially over this, this was supposed to be hot and cute and now i feel like it's blown up in my face. A bet that I don't even care about at this point. 

5 minutes later, after I've calmed myself down. I see Quinn on the edge of the bed, when I open the bathroom door. Taking another deep breath, I start to make my way across our bedroom to the closet. As I'm beginning to pass the bed where Quinn sits, I feel him grab my leg, pulling me back towards him. 

My nerves are rising again. I'm now in between Quinn's legs, looking down at my feet as I wait for him to say something. I feel his hands run up my thighs, gripping them with a slight pressure. Trailing them higher on my body, over the Hughes jersey that covers my upper half. Quinns hands, finding their home on my waist, for the second time today. 

“Baby, look at me,” Quinn says, gently but with authority. I slowly lift my head up to lock my eyes to his. “I think we have a bet to take care of.” he says to me, my brain doesn't even register what he just said to me, before i start speaking. “are you mad at me? I feel like you're mad at me. We don't have to do this, it's just a bet it doesn't really matter to me Quinn. I thought this was a good idea earlier but now i dont think it's a good idea. I know you're definitely mad at-” 

  I'm quickly cut off by the feeling of quinns lips on mine. Taking me by surprise it takes my body a few seconds to respond. Once I do, my hands are instantly finding his hair, as Quinn pulls me down so I'm now straddling his lap, our kiss getting more intense by the second. 

I began to grind myself on his bulge that I felt growing beneath me. Quinn begins painting beneath me, his mouth opening enough for me to slide my tongue into his mouth, pulling myself into him. Our mouths began to fight for dominance. Our bodies move against each other at a faster rate. Quinns hands pushed my waist hard against his, causing me to moan into his mouth. 

Quinn pulls back suddenly, causing me to wine more. “Does it look like I'm upset with you baby?” he asks me as he starts to suck on my neck leaving kisses in his wake, causing me to arch my back closer into his mouth. Pulling away from my neck, looking at each other as we’re both panting. “I was acting like a sore loser” quinns says while rubbing slow circles on my thigh, eyes still locked with mine. “I don't like losing, and I really don't like not being able to have my way with you, not being able to touch you.” he breathes out at me. I'm struggling to find my words while he's looking at me like that. 

“Quinn. I don't care about this stupid bet anymore, I want you now." I don't even wait for him to respond to me before I'm crushing our lips back together. The kiss is hot, with need and want. Our teeth and tongues clashing together. 

I find the will to pull myself off Quinn, now standing in front of him. Without saying anything, I began to peel off my clothes. Pulling off the jersey, leaving me in a black lacy bra, and my jeans. Quickly moving my hands to my jeans, unbuttoning them quickly, pulling them down with my underwear, kicking them off my feet. Reaching behind me and unclasping my bra. Leaving me completely bare in front of Quinn.

“I want you naked, now.” I say to Quinn, who moves in supersonic speed pulling off his clothes and throwing them somewhere behind me. 

“Fuck baby.'' Quinn says as he's pulling me into him again. “You look so hot right now, all for me too.” tracing his hands down my bare sides, causing my skin to erupt in goosebumps in his wake. 

Leaning forward he begins to press kisses against my stomach making his way down to my pussy, my breath begins to hitch, I'm afraid my legs are going to buckle beneath me. “Can I taste you baby? I want to taste your sweet pussy,  haven't in so long.” he says, as he slowly pulls my thighs apart. I can't find it within me to stop him, I don't care about the bet anymore. I need him to do something. “Yes please” I told him. He doesn't need to be told twice. 

Quinn quickly throws me down on the bed, my body making a small thud as it hits the bed. Quinn immediately pulled my thighs apart so he could rest between them.

 I'm knocked out of my daze, as I feel Quinn start to press kisses on the inside of my thighs, my breath is beginning to quicken again. “Look at me baby” he says, as he lifts his head to reach my eyes.

 I crane my neck to meet his gaze. Getting a good look at him, pupils blown with lust, his lips swollen and red, hair a mess, seeing him in this state turns me on even more. 

“Please Quinn,” I yelled out to him, shifting my body closer to his face. I need something, anything. ‘So impatient” Quinn chuckles, as he leans in closer to my pussy, so close I can feel his breath fan on my folds, causing me to slowly moan. “Keep your eyes on mine or I will stop. Got it?” he roughly says to me, nodding my head yes quickly. “Words baby” he says, “yes, yes quinn” i say urgently. 

Before I know it his face is diving into my cunt, his tongue instantly finding my clit, making arch my back into him. “Fuck” i say in a strangled moan, as my hands find their way to quinns hair, pushing his face deeper in my cunt. 

His tongue is lapping me up like a grown man starving, his hands are pushing my legs so hard and so far apart it almost hurts, but I can't find it inside me to care. His pace began to quicken, pushing his tongue in and out of my cunt. “Who got you this wet baby?” he mumbles into my heart. “You! Fuck right there baby” i moan out, as quinn slowly pushes 2 fingers in. 

The pressure is beginning to build in my stomach, between quinn fingering me and lapping and sucking on my clit is enough to push me over the edge. “Harder, faster, fuck quinn.'' I managed to push out, his actions now becoming faster and more aggressive than before. 

Before I realize, my peak is coming. My hips grinding themselves on quinns face,  desperate to cum. “That's it baby, there you go.” he says, as i begin to push myself on his fingers deep inside of me. Moving his thumb to now, rub my clit at a fast rate. “fuck quinn im coming” i push my head flat against the pillow as my body archs into him. “Fuck, don't stop. Quinn please don't stop, please please” i began to blubber out as i began to cum all over his fingers. Continuing to grind myself against him, taking anything that he’ll give me.

Quinns hands keep my thighs from closing shut and he removes his fingers and replaces them with his tongue. Riding me through the last of my orgasm. My moans and pants are filling the room, my breath leaving my lungs as I finally come down from my orgasm. 

Quinn slowly pulled his face away from my heat. “That was the hottest thing, ive never seen, fuck” he says before making his way on top of me, his lips finding mine. 

Wrapping my arms around his neck pulling his chest to mine. Our bodies rocking together, “quinn” i say breathless, as his tongue is attacking my neck, moving his mouth lower down my body. Grasping my left nipple in his mouth, gently biting it, then releasing it into his mouth, wrapping his hot tongue around it. The action causes me to moan loudly, pushing my already close body even closer, if that's even possible.

As good as his assault on my boobs feels, I need him inside of me now. “Quinn” I say firmer this time. Pulling his face to mine, “ i need you to fuck me now, please now” i say panting in his face. 

That seems to flip a switch inside of quinn, he's quickly lining up his cock, with my entrance, slowly pushing himself into me. Quinn goes as he fully enters me, our eyes locking for a quick moment before I lift my head to bring myself to his lips. This kiss is different from the others, love and passion filled, a kiss that isn't rushed. “Can I move baby?” quinn asks from above me, “yes please fuck me” i pant back into his mouth, bringing our lips back together again.

Quinns hips quickly snapping against mine, pulling out fullying before pushing himself back into me. The quick motion caused the both of us to moan loudly, “harder” I moan out to him. “You want me to fuck you harder baby?” Quinn says back to me. To answer his question I push my hips up to meet his thrusts, quinn moves one of his hands from my waist to my right leg, and pushes it above his shoulder. the new angle, hitting a depth i didn't know was even possible. Fucking me at a pace so good, that i didnt want him to stop. 

The sound of groans, moans and our skin meeting and slapping together fills our room, our bodies slick with sweat. My eyes flutter open meeting quinns eyes, as he fucks me so deep and so good, my mouth is hung open but no words are coming out. 

Grabbing my jaws he leans down and spits into my mouth “swallow” he orders, his eyes still locked with mine. I do as he says, swallowing every last bit.

“Fuck you’re so hot” quinn moans at me, as he continues to fuck me. “More more '' I moan loudly at him, Quinn then pushes both of my legs on his shoulders. Fucking me so deep i can feel him in my stomach.

“Im gonna cum, baby” Quinn breathes in my ear, his face dropping to my neck as he picks up his pace. I feel the familiar burn build up in my stomach again. “Don't stop, im almost there please dont stop” i wine at him urging him to go even faster. 

Grabbing our headboard, using more strength to push himself harder into me. One singular snap of his hips causes me to cum. “Quinn quinn, im coming fuck fuck fuck” i moan loudly. “come for me baby fuck” quinn says as he continues to fuck me though my orgasm. 

“Im cumming” he sputters out, his lips finding mine. Our bodies move together as we’re coming down from our highs. 

My legs slowly come down from his shoulders, Quinn slowly pulling out of me, wincing as he does. Collapsing beside me, our chests falling and rising together, pants fill the room still. I turn my body to his hand tracing his chest and neck. Pushing his hair that's fallen in his face back. Quinns arms circled around my waist pulling me closer to him. 

“So much for the bet huh?” he says while laughing, pulling me in for another kiss.

[gothic-thoughts]

Heartbeat

(Zoro he don't mean nothing to me baby, I promise)

Sanji Vinsmoke x Black Fem Reader Smut

MDNI, Pirate!Reader

CW: Reader's fed up wit Sanji's flirty self, Reader's on top, she/her pronouns, afab parts mentioned, hate fucking, riding, edging, vulgar words(he's a whore🙄), damn near porn w/o plot

Word Count: 1070 (give or take)

"Heh, s-so territorial. Ungh, sugar~"

Sanji let out shallow pants as I slowly lift myself up and down his sensitive shaft. He slowly bucked his hips up against my pelvis, desperately looking for more friction, earning another harsh slap to his thigh. The blonde Frenchman tugged at the ties that kept his wrists connected to the wooden poles of his headboard. 

"Knew I’d probably get a rise out of you but, ngh, didn't think you'd go this far."

"Shut up." I groan, clenching around him, "You know what you did."

"Yeah, I do, so you can...ngh, st-stop now."

"Do you?" I stop moving, "Has it finally sunken into that thick skull of yours?"

He pants heavily before chuckling "You're mad at me because I'm too charming. But isn't that why you--shiiit."

I clench around him, "You know what you did."

My arousal dripped down his sensitive shaft as I bounced on it with soft moans in his ear. His hips bucked as he struggled and panted, trying to keep it together but soft moans still came out anyway. I abruptly stop bouncing and look at his blissed-out face, as he starts gasping again.

"(Y/n), s'il vous plaît. Just..." Sanji gulps, "Just let me c-cum, please. I'm fucking begging you." 

"And I'm not fucking listening. I told you not to hang out with her again."

"She asked me to help her move something! Y-you can't be completely mad!"

"I am. You think I don't know how often you hang out with Nami's sister?"

"And nothing happens but harmless flirting, baby. Nothin' serious."

"Nigga, I don't want you flirting at all. I told you I don't like that shit."

I purposely squeeze around his incredibly hard cock making his head hang forward as another moan falls from his wet lips. He looked up at me with a dizzy smile and giggles, so I cupped his chin and focused his gaze on mine.

"Somethin' funny?"

"Oh, nothing~"

"We can go at this for another 20 minutes if you want."

He chuckles darkly, "You...you little minx."

"Then what's funny?"

"You just look so pretty when you're mad, t's making me so fucking hard."

"And yo ass gon stay hard. I’m not letting you cum and if you do, not inside."

His eyebrows raise, eyes widening. "What? No, no, no baby."

"I said what I said."

"You don't mean that, y-you like it too much."

"Try me." I growl.

"I apologized like a hundred times already, mon amour!"

"No, actually, you teased me about being jealous and tried to get free this whole time."

“Ugh, you little...." He trails off into an evil giggle, "This won't hold me forever.”

"Sure it will. And even if it can't, it's gon hold you long enough until you're so drained, you can't get me back."

"Eventually I'm gonna lose it, sugar girl; just you wait. You can take me for now but when it’s my turn, you're gonna get it, femme."

I lean into his face, squinting. "Is that so?"

"I’ll fuck you senseless and turn you into a sobbing mess. Both and this perfect fucking--oh fuck, unngh~"

I grind down on him, smirking when Sanji's hips stutter. I grab his shoulders, position my legs into a crouching position, and plunge, hearing moans fall from his pretty, swollen lips as he tries to finish his sentence. The chef's back arches, hand gripping the headboard.

“Merde, ngh mon dieu. Keep going, don't you f-uckin' st--mm~!”

"That feels good, blondie?"

"Hah, yes baby. Just let me cum, douceur (sweetness), please. I'm getting close, I can't anymore."

Sanji tugs on restraints while his thighs shook and tensed under me. His hips bucked up into me as I slammed myself on him, making us both moan out and toss our heads back. I try to bounce harder but once I notice he's enjoying it too much, I stop my hips, panting just as hard as he was.

"N-no." His panting fades into an evil chuckle, "Non, je ne pense pas. (no, I don't think so)."

He tugs hard on the restraints, ripping his hands free and breaking the small wooden poles in the headboard. I gasp as he sits up, flipping me to my back as he pins my wrists above my head and thrusts at a fast and hard rhythm. He grips my ass and pulls me into him, coaxing himself deeper into my squeezing pussy. He pins my wrists above my head and dips his face into my neck, sucking hickeys and bites marks into it. I gasp and moan in his ear at the sudden rough pace as he completely takes over.

"Oh m'god, S'nji~"

"You're not going anywhere." He pants, essentially growling desperately into my neck, "Feels so fuckin' good."

"B-baby, chill, mmh my god!"

"Pas encore (not yet). I didn't get you back for that little, half-hour tantrum you made me sit through."

"M-maybe if you stop eye-fucking Nami's sister, w-wouldn't have a f'ckin' attittude."

"You act like I'd fuck her. You know I can't help but compliment a beautiful woman, doesn't mean I'm not with most beautiful one dans le monde (in the world)."

"J-jus....deeper~"

He chuckles, "Sorry but you're gonna have to beg me now. What's my name, mon cherie?" 

"Deeper, baby, please~!"

"That's not it."

"Sanji!"

"Encore une fois. One more time, and I'll give you what you want."

"G'deeper, please, I'm so close."

"I said--"

"Fine, maybe I sh-should I jus' flirt wit Zoro...."

His hips stutter at my words and I instantly regret them as he puts my legs over his shoulders, grip my wrists tighter as he starts pounding into me, now fueled by rage. His hips speed up slapping against mine with every thrust, the amount of force making the bed clash against the wall.

"You think you're funny? Huh? I may be a flirt but that moss-headed brute is where I draw the fucking line."

Each drag of his cock in and out of my insides makes my eyes roll back into my skull, the wet squelching echoing in the room getting louder as I cum hard. I grip the sheets My eyes roll back and my legs tremble near his ears while my pussy spasms and clenches around him. He groans, slowing down only to draw away his orgasm before speeding up again.

"Who you cumming for, huh? Is it mosshead, cuz I don't think so. Tell me who's driving you insane."

I couldn't even respond with the way he was drilling into me with every word. He knew I couldn't do anything but gasp and groan when he reached deep and drags along my spot. I feel my juices roll down my ass and make the sound of his hefty balls quickly slapping on me louder.

"Speak, sugar; talk to me. Tell me who's making a mess outta you."

"Y-you, you; you baby, you are~! Don't stop, f-uck!"

“Mmh, b-baby~ You think I want her like this? She may be pretty but you know my cock only goes inside you. You're the only one that can take me so easily, sweet girl."

"B-baby, I can't!"

"S-sure...you...can, ngh. Now forgive me, dammit."

"I f'give you, I forgive you! I'm s'rry!"

"G-good. So....cum....again..."

I scratch at the blankets and yell his name making the grip on my waist tighten as he moans my name into the lip he was biting. I run my fingers through his hair and he can't help but let out a softer moan, his forehead coming down to rest on my collarbone as he practically melts at the affection.

His pace stuttered but he continued to massage himself with my tight walls while grasping at my hips desperately. Sanji suddenly pulled them to his pelvis with a moan as thick cum sprayed insides while I squeeze around him. We were both panting, words caught in our throats as he slowly pulls out with a tired smile. His body gives out and collapses onto mine with soft pants and broken breaths.

"Are we...done n-now?"

"No more flirting."

"I don't know....if this is how you act, I have to think about it."

[sorencd]

could you PLEASE write something about charlie with that line 'i always thought you were the most beautiful girl i've ever seen'

LATE NIGHT TALKING

PAIRING : charlie dalton x f!reader WORD COUNT : 0.5k A/N : this took sooooo incredibly long but i finally got around to writing it! tysm for requesting mwa

his coat that embraced your very form situated atop your pajamas that you're sure is littered with grass clippings underneath from where you sat, the crickets were chirping but just enough to be considered as calming instead of the usual annoying noise as people would say, and the moon was softly cascading its light from behind the clouds that covered a portion of it. beside you, was charlie. it was late in the night, and you're sure that if you or his parents found out the both of you snuck out just to go stargazing, it would probably be the end of these fun little meetups at night.

"aren't you getting cold? do you want your coat back?'

"it's fine, keep it. it looked better on you anyway."

"nope, i think it suits you better. you look like some cool butt-kicking crime-fighting hero that works at night."

"someone's been reading too much comics."

your playful laugh played over the cricket's chirping as you shoved his arm before falling against the grass, shifting your gaze from the lake ahead to the dark sky above, a sight that always knew how to make you feel at ease warm and despite the cold air that always came along it. you turned your head to the right, where charlie was sitting. he was looking at the sky as well, his neck craned up his hands carrying his weight. it was a sight to behold, the moon was shining just the right amount of light onto his face and he looked heavenly. the moon was a paid actor.

"you know, i still can't...stomach...the fact that we're dating. and that i'm stargazing with you, like, right now. i just can't wrap my head around it."

"why?"

"i just.. can't believe that i have someone, i guess. i thought i would've always settled with being just me, myself, and i."

charlie followed suit and laid on his back alongside you before responding, "i'm here now. and you're here. we're both here."

"i'm glad."

now it was his turn to stare at you, all awestruck and amazed with how he was lying beside you, both watching the clouds pass by the moon. he scooted a little closer to you, wanting to feel the familiar warmth that always seemed to come along you. he loved it.

"you know, ever since i first laid my eyes on you, i've always thought you were the most beautiful girl i've ever seen. i was all 'woah' and my heart was all crazy and stuff. i just knew you had to be mine."

"someone's been reading too many poems."

he laughed, a sound that you've heard a million times but you'll never get tired of. you moved your head to be in a position where it was closer to his, craving the warmth he always radiated from him and his romantic lovesick gestures. you loved it.

"i think i'm going to the moon tonight." charlie confessed, moving his head to face you with a smile.

a soft giggle came from your lips, not in a mockingly way, but one filled with affection. "really?"

"yeah, and i want you to come with me."

"i'd love nothing more, charlie."

© sorencd . 2023 ─ do not copy, repost, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

and.. ACTION! - Margot Robbie

Pairing - Margot Robbie x fem!reader

Fluff, angst and homophobia (happy ending), implied NSFW

Word count: 2.7k (didn't mean for it to be that long lmao, it's juicy though)

!!not proofread!!

(reader is a film director)

Margot POV: 

I've just stared working on my new set for Barbie and it's taking a bit of getting used to because there are 2 directors for this movie Greta Gerwig and Y/N Y/L/N, and don't get me wrong they're both amazing directors but it's just new having two. 

At the minute we're on break and I'm sitting with Ryan, America and Y/N. I've grown close to everyone in this cast, we're like a family but I have gotten especially close with Y/N I don't know what it is about her but ever since the first time I heard her say "and.. ACTION!" I've been having these feelings for her. I can't really put my finger on what the feelings are though, I thought at first I just wanted to be her friend because she was cool and endearing but now, I'm thinking it might be more. But, I'm straight so it can't be right? Yeah, it can't be Margot you're being delusional. (we're all a bit delulu sometimes xx)

"Hey, you okay? Lost you for a second there." her soft voice snapped me out of my trance. "Yeah no, I'm fine. Just thinking." I replied tripping over my words a bit, I always seem to get nervous around her maybe it is.. no it can't be.

"You sure, you seemed pretty focused, I don't want you to worry you're pretty little head about things okay? You can talk to me if stuff is bothering you, you know that right?" and there she goes again, making me blush. Is she flirting with me or just giving me a compliment? Either way, I can't help the crimson blush that invades my face. She's always been so caring, always making sure I'm okay. I don't deserve her. Looking down now, slightly embarrassed I reply "Yeah I know, and we'll uhm- there is-" I fumble over my words now second guessing myself "isn't anything so don't worry about me, I promise okay?" I hold out my pinky so she can link her own around mine. "Okayy, if you say so but my offer still stands I'm always gunna be here." 

I give her a warm smile and suddenly the moment is ruined by Ryan walking in and telling us we're needed on set. "I'll see you later?" she asked with the cutest smile ever on her face. "Of course." I replied.

Okay, yeah. I like her, in the same way I normally like boys. Wow, this is new. 

Y/N POV:

We've just got off a back to back shooting day, hardly any breaks apart from the quick 5 minutes that I shared with my favourite person. Margot, obviously if that wasn't clear. I don't even think she swings this way but, a girl can dream right? Anyway, she's joining me and my parents for dinner tonight and, well, they're not the most supportive about my sexual orientation should I say. So, she offered to be a buffer, you know, soften the blow a bit when they throw insult after insult my way. I mean I could just bail the dinner but, they're my parents I owe them certain things so, I have promised to always make an effort to go see them, no matter what. So that's how I ended up here, walking to Margot's trailer and knocking on the door.

"Ready to go endure around 2 hours of relentless condescending comments from my parents?" I said to her as she opened the door.

"Of course I am, it's my favourite hobby." She replied sarcastically. I giggled and offered her my arm which she willingly took. 

On the walk to the car we had polite small talk about how our days had gone, as we hadn't seen much of each other even though we're on the same set. She was in the Barbieland set while I was on the real world set with America and Ariana. 

We get in the car and I start driving. I'm lost in my thoughts worrying about all the ways this could go incredibly wrong. Margot's soft voice snaps me out of my trance.

"Are you okay? And don't bullshit me Y/N you've got worry written all over your face." I sighed deeply and she put her hand on my thigh. I blushed deeply at the contact but didn't let that stray me from answering her. "I'm just really dreading this night, it's the first meal we've had together in about a year so, i don't know what to expect really." 

"Hey, normally i'd say look at me but you're driving and that probably isn't smart but," i chuckled lightly at that comment "you don't need their approval about every single aspect of your life, because it's your life. Also, who cares if they don't agree with your sexuality? It's none of their business who you bang." 

I genuinely laugh for the first time this evening at the last comment. I briefly glance at Mar and smile. "Thank you for that, really. It helps to hear it." 

"No problem okay? And if at any point during the meal you're just thinking 'I need to leave like, now' then just tell me and I'll act like my apartment had been broken into or something so we can leave. I'm an amazing actress you know?" There's an evident smirk plastered across her beautiful face and I giggle at her sarcasm. "I'm fully aware and I'll drop you a text if it gets too unbearable." 

"Good." She says smiling as she turns back around so she's facing the road again. The car ride continues in a comfortable silence and Taylor Swift playing in the background. 

Time skip to when they're at the house 

Margot POV: 

"Okay we're here." I hear y/n/n say as we came to a stop outside her parents house.

"Hey, you've got this." I say as I take her hand and give it a light squeeze. "Yeah, I hope so." She responded anxiety prominent in her voice. 

We walk up to the front door and knock. Not even a second later it swings open revealing a short woman who appears to be in her sixties and a man who appears to only be a tad older behind her. "Oh my goodness, y/n/n it's been far too long." After saying that she instantly pull the y/h/c into a tight hug. "Hiya mum." She says back awkwardly patting her back,   y/n is not a hugger. Any parent should know such a small detail like that about their kid. I internally roll my eyes because I can see the stiffness of her body as her mum squeezes even tighter. "Ah, you must be Margot?" Her dad says from behind the mother and daughter. "Oh, uhm, yes that's me." I say extending my hand for him to shake which her returns politely. Her mum has now fully released her grip on y/n and extends her hand so she can shake mine while saying. "Hopefully not girlfriend." My face goes flat. No emotion, just plain hatred for this woman already and I haven't even stepped in the house. I clear my throat and say, "No, I'm not but I don't think it would be an issue if I was." Both her parents just shared disapproving looks but beckoned us in none the less. This was going to be a long night.

Time skip to them eating tea (dinner) 

Y/n POV: 

So far nothing about the comment earlier nor the subject had come up so it had actually been a really fun night so far. So far. I knew it was all going downhill when we sat down at the dinning table because that's when topics like politics and live life come up. I was not excited to say the least. "Guys 'cmon foods ready!" my dad yells from the kitchen. Me, my mum and Margot make our way to the dinning room where there is a gorgeous looking Sunday roast laying in the table waiting for us. "Dad that looks amazing." I say to him. 

"Just wait till you taste the stuffing I got some new herbs from the garden and chucked them in, it's really tasty." We all went to our respective seats on the table my parents opposite me and Margot. As soon as my mother opened my mouth I knew it was all going to go horribly wrong. 

"So y/n/n any news?" 

"Like what mum?" 

"Oh well, I don't know, a boyfriend?"

Margot shot daggers at my mum but she didn't take any notice. 

"No." I say, trying to be as blunt and cut off as possible. 

"Oh don't worry dear, a nice man will make his way into your life soon enough." My dad chimes in.

"Yeah, and then you can settle down and have a proper life with children and a proper man not any of that 'lesbian' nonsense you've been talking about." *you can change that to whatever your sexuality is but i just chose lesbian bc it fits* 

I sit and stare at her with a flabbergasted look in my face. "For the last time, I. Am. A. Lesbian. I'm not going to find a nice man because I'm not interested in men, just because you don't understand that doesn't mean that you can't accept it. Also I'm not being funny but it doesn't matter who I end up with, my life is 'proper' and as long as I love the person I end up with, which I will; very dearly it doesn't matter what their gender is, but I'm just letting you know it will be a girl. And, I don't give a flying fuck wether my children are adopted, if they're IVF or anything! Okay?! Because at the end of the day they'll be my children and I'll love them unconditionally so, that's all that matters. And I'm not being funny I shouldn't of even come tonight because every single time I come it's the same thing over and i over again, you are both like broken records!" By the end of my rant I'm practically yelling at them and at some point in my rage I stood up from my chair. I look at them both, waiting for some kind of comeback. 

"Never speak to me or your father like that again. You are a worthless piece of shit dyke and no child of mine!" She yelled at me and by this point there were tears rolling down my face. She then continued, "Imagine what Margot thinks of this, huh? You arguing with your parents and speaking to us in that manner? She also must be appalled that you're a, a- lesbian." she held so much disgust in her voice when she said that it made my blood boil and when Margot instantly rose from her chair I could tell it had the exact same effect on her. 

Margot POV:

"Well Mrs Y/L/N-"

"Please call me Claire."

"Okay, Claire. Do you want my honest opinion on this topic?"

"Yes dear I would, please knock some sense i to this girl."

As soon as those words left her mouth I turned to y/n/n and thought to myself 'well it's now or never' and I put on arm around her waist and the other behind her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. It was a sweet innocent kiss and we pulled away rather quickly because we were obviously still in front of her parents. As we pulled apart she was beaming and so was I. Her face was a light pink now and it made me feel good knowing I did that to her. I wa brought back to reality when her mother chimed in again. "How long has this sinning been going on for?" Y/n head snapped round to mine looking panicked but I just scoffed loudly and said "This loving, caring relationship has been going on for 6 months, since we started filming together." I saw her mother roll her eyes but now it was her dads turn to stand up. "That's it! I've had it with you!" he paused for a second and I glanced at y/n and tears were rolling down her eyes because we both thought that she was about to get practically disowned for the second time tonight. "Claire, why can't you just be happy for our daughter, she's in love for christ sake! I don't care if she's gay. I care that she's happy,I care that she's loved. I don't understand your inability to do such things!" Me, y/n and her mum looked just as surprised as each other when those words left his mouth. Choking back even more tears y/n said "Thank you dad, really. It means a lot l." Her dad then walked around the table and stopped before her went in to hug her. "You don't like hugs do you?" he said

"No, but I guess I can make an exception." 

My heat swelled at the scene playing out before me, her mother storming out the house and y/n/n and her dad making up. I was incredibly sweet. 

As they pulled away her dad said "I know this hasn't exactly been the ideal evening but, I'm happy for the both of you okay? Now go home and get some rest sweetheart, and it was lovely meeting you Margot and just in advance you have my blessing if you ever want to, you know pop the question. Just to put it out there I'm only saying that because I know people like to ask the dad and I just thought you might be a bit too worried to ask when the times tight because of her mother so, I thought I'd tell you now so, no pressure but uhm- yeah." He said it with so much sincerity and love in his voice it made me instinctively pull him into a hug. "Thank you Mr y/l/n" I said tears pricking my eyes. "Please, call me John." 

"Thank you John." 

Y/N POV:

I just set there still crying, but more tears of joy at this point and observed the two most important people in my life at the minute share the most sickly sweet moment ever. I was amazing.

Time skip to once you drive Margot home (still reader pov)

"So, 6 months huh?" I said teasingly as I walked her to the door of her house. "I don't work well under pressure, okay?" I laughed at her response and then when she got to the door she looked at me straight in the eye. "I mean I wouldn't be totally objected to the idea of being with you for 6 months." she trailed off getting quieter at the end of her sentence and looking away nervously.  "You know, neither would I." Her eyes instantly found mine again and she looked down at me since she's slightly taller. "Really?" 

"Yes Margot, really." 

She grabbed my face and pulled me into a bruising kiss. Our lips moved in perfect sync, her teeth grazing my bottom lip and slightly biting  it causing me to let out a small moan. Her hand that had snaked around to my waist pulled me in closer at that action. Her lip grazed over my top lip asking for entrance which I happily granted her, she pushed her tongue into my mouth instantly and started exploring causing me to move my hands from her hips to around her neck pulling her in even further. We continued until we needed to pull away for air. "You wanna come inside and continue?" she asked suggestively. 

"Definitely." At that she picked me up and i wrapped my legs around her torso and we resumed our previous actions. As we got to her room she layer me down on the bed and got on top of me. "Good thing we don't have set tomorrow because I don't think we'll be getting much sleep tonight darling." 

And just like always, she was right.

[ikkosu]

Megatron angst, you say?? Megatron is ashamed of the kindness the reader shows him and even more ashamed of the love that developed from that kindness. He remembers keenly how little he thought of organics, the devastation he caused to Earth. The billions of organic lives across the universe that were snuffed out on his command. He can barely stand to look at himself in the mirror. He buries himself in his duties to hide from that vicious guilt, but it doesn't help, not really. Megatron feels he doesn't deserve your affection. He doesn't realize his distance hurts you, if only he would open up to you.

IT'LL PASS

Megatron x gn!scientist!human reader

a/n : ooooh I love these kind of angst! so yummy and gobble-able. I stayed up late writing this. megatron angst be upon ye (if that's how the saying goes, anyways). hope you won’t mind me using this Au, SSAU, in case confused of the size difference.

warnings : little bit of fluff on first half, angst on the second (yipeee) 💀 this is so long, god help me.

[i]

He remembered the first time he met you.

Your hands clinched over his larger ones, tugging it down so you could peer on your toes to get a better look at his face, It took him a moment to register you, first it was the pliant flesh curled over his digits like vines, warm and soft then his head swiveled down with a jolt to meet your curious, wide unblinking eyes.

"Is this...Megatron?" Your eyes narrowed, focused — words, innocent yet simple, came off as almost dumfounded.

He doesn't know what to say.

A raise of his brows and the purse of his lips were all he could muster in response. You’re the walking embodiment of the species he sought to eradicate. To destroy. And yet, here you are, unfazed. Jumping on your toes, drumming your hands over his digits, pawing at his broad, mettalic arms like he was a specimen. Before he could reply, Ratchet grabs the scruff of your collar and yanks you away.

“Wha— hey! I was about to introduce myself!"

“That can wait until the actual debrief. Which is due time. Sorry about this, this one’s a bit of a loiterer.” He grumbles, then yanks you away to fall in step with his pace. “Stir up another problem in the lab and make it count. If Rodimus asks, I am not dealing with his moping about whether or not the body gets decimated or cremated.”

"Oh, come on! " You’re now half-way across the hallway, disappearing. Voices muffled. “It’s like, the size of my palm, Ratty. It’s real cute too, with the puffed out fur and all. We should keep it!”

“I don’t care if it’s the size of your brain. Drift thinks it’s some kind of miracle. Like spiritual miracle or something.” Ratchet grunts out. “Dispose it before someone like you could be infected and you’ve got bad allergies, remember?"

"But—"

“Don't fight me on this. Earth is miles away and I am not comm-ing the Liason Department with a petty issue like that!”

Your altercation disappeared, much the same as your figures, through the sliding door, where the squabble continued into what’s possible the lab the medic mentioned.

Megatron stares, slightly dumfounded as it swishes close and Magnus, for a large mech he’s incredibly a silent walker, teeters behind him, shuffling on his pedes.

“I see you’ve met the organic scientist. An interesting subject to behold, no?”

Rodimus is somewhere behind the duly appointed, a few steps back, moping with a scowl.

With a small wolfish grin, he managed. “I wasn’t aware you’re keeping pets.”

“Excuse me?” The sports car bristled, fists clenched, now already close. “Who’re you calling pets you—“

“Rodimus, please.” His tirade of a decent chewing out is halted by Magnus, whose arm is a barrier between the two, “ Ease down and stay in that corner until I’m done.”

"You're gonna let him say that?" A digit jabbed his way. “But he!—“

“Is trying to a rise out of you.” The bigger mech lays a terse hand over his shoulder. “You of all people should know that. Now, go.”

He’s surprised the younger mech even complied, given his role as the ‘co-captain’, Megatron assumed Magnus would be the one subverscient to his commands. With a scowl he whirled around, stomping away to whatever room deemed worthy of another tantrum. Magnus, however, swivels back with a firmer look, determined not to be swayed by his prodding.

“Discrimination is an offense.” He begins with a finger wag. The grey mech sags. Oh, not this again. ‘’ Any more remarks like that will terminate your stay here. The human you’ve met is the only one residing here in the Lost Light. I expect you to treat them with the same respect they'll have for you."

"Only?" He drawls.

"Many are still not fond of us. Take it a small step towards peace between organics, if you will. " Magnus said, craning his neck over the warlord’s shoulder in time for the med-bay doors to slide open again.

Ambulon steps out, First-aid beside him, and in that split second, he gets a glimpse of you haggling Ratchet at his desk. On your palms were the rat they encountered earlier. He could only assume you're fighting for it's refuge here with how you're assaulting ratchet with desperate puppy eyes and coddling the little rodent to your cheek.

Then the doors slide shut again.

“ In your habsuite are several books on Organic history. Optimus encourages amending tension between Organics and Cybertrinians. So, you can start there. And, while that may prove a bit difficult I hope it isn't an obstacle towards your..."

He struggled, not able to to find the word. Perhaps, repenting is too much of a long stretch so he settles on, “Your stay here.”

"I'll manage just fine." He says gruffly and turns on his heels.

There was something brimming inside his chest. A familiar tinge of energy, much the same when he used to regard Orion with the same kind of fondness.

It'll pass. He reminds himself. It's just a fleeting feeling. It'll pass.

[ii]

You’re like a shadow.

Quick to come, quick to leave — a passing blur.

From the corners to the hallways, you were always there, except he never had a chance to properly introduce himself. Why? He doesn't know why. After all, you were the first person who greeted him with enthusiasm.

The next time he met you was evening, if it was even considered that way, space was in a constant plunge of darkness, anyways. Magnus's caution not to dwell at the bar was indeed taken into consideration as well as disregarded with much care — since drinking is naturally prohibited during 'work hours', according to Magnus, a notion that is an always for him.

Swerve's was fondly quiet.

The rest had gone to ogle another 'off-world chick flick' Rewind proposed. One of those action packed, cheesy films mechs these days are so sodden for. Obviously, he turned it down, ignoring Whirl's attempt to provoke him for being a 'buzz-kill' (he dodged another blaster to the head in doing so) and slumped by a cubicle , nursing a drink he kept swivelling aimlessly in his servo. He watches the purple curl then crest, sloshing about, caking the rims dry. His mind, plagued.

Too caught up in the voices in his head, the swift yet gentle pitter patter of footsteps prodding towards the counter was unheard. It was only when you slid into the empty seat in front of him that he blinked, jolting much as he did when he first met you.

He eyed the datapads and pens cluttering on the surface, following your tandem, gloved hands gently pushing the cup of engex aside. A barrier no longer. You laced your fingers and leaned over, nose close to touching. When it appeared you've caught his attention, your eyes creased, much like a half moon and he finds himself faltering at the sight of the sun.

Though, he stood his ground by holding a firm gaze.

"I hope I'm not bothering you?" Your voice is low, like you're half-expecting Ratchet to pop out again and drag you away.

"Well..." Megatron swivels to his half opened book of the Autobot Code on the table. He still has, much to his chagrin, a thousand more chapters to go through and might as well spare himself from this heinous task and deal with Magnus's preaching.

"Not at the worst time you found me." He folds the book primly and sets it aside.

"Splendid! Is that, ah, how you say it there?"

"What?"

"How’s it going buddy! Or, what's got you up in a twist pal! Something like that. Magnus is always haggling me about 'conforming' to certain ranks with the way I speak. So, what does it?"

He stares at you for a moment, more accurately, staring down, brows pinched. You're awfully small. And not in a 'teeny, tiny, precious little pet' kind of way. His gladiator instincts overruled his prior thoughts and the heigh difference is so explicitly stark he could crush you with a mere swing of a fist. Why are you here? I could kill you. He's not so sure what to think of that. Though, his lower region can preach otherwise.

He should really stop drinking.

"You're not suppose to be here."

"Not quite."

The smile turns into a wolfish grin. It's only now he noticed you've plopped a black satchel on the table.

" Actually, to tell you the truth I'm old enough to be drinking. Hell, even mingling with the lot of you. It's just that, ah, the chemicals! Chemicals, am I right? It hurts the human brain. Makes it woozy. Real, woozy. Can’t think well. I don't know about you bots, cons, uh, there's more gosh, but you see I'm—"

"Referring to your presence." He crosses his arms, leaning back.

"Rodimus doesn't like you here."

The satchel flaps open with a click. You shrug. "Hm. That's a lot less fun, no? Guess he'll have to suck it up. Can’t keep me in a cage forever. I need my own breath of fresh air.”

He looks off to the side, forcing back an imperceptible smile. " Is that so? Whatever happened to conforming to ranks?"

"Ah, apologies, he'll have to handle shoving a stick up his tailpipe."

"You would prefer mingling with me than—"

" Obviously. It's a perfect time for our interview to start!"

.Megatron shifted slightly away, fighting the urge to frown. His digits drum the service, irritated.

"You're interested about the war." He states plainly.

"It's not much about the war, you see. It's, well more about the performers. No, wait not performers, the ah—“ You wag the pen in front of him, struggling to find the words, other hand fumbling to open the book. When you're unable to muster a coherent explanation, you settle on, "Short story, I’m a researcher. Journalist, even. Half-scientist? You get the gist."

Your eyes flicker down to the clutter of datapads by his side, an amused grin this time, " What's the point? I suppose you're already aware of my name, then?"

He feels his faceplates burn. The many datapads you caught contained the ship's dwellers and one, sticking out from the others, is your profile. It was a harmless dive, but with how blatant his stylus circled your picture a deep red, he knew he was in too deep. He clears his throat, a swift digit nudged the rim aside and it's hidden under the others.

"A bit of curiosity isn't too much of a harm these days." He doesn't shake your outstretched hand but taps your palm with his digits. "What would you like to know?"

The touch lingered. You smiled.

"You."

[iii]

He's not sure what to think.

Several weeks after the incident at the bar there's been a routine he's now accustomed to. Wake up, have a cup of energon, haggle both Magnus and Rodimus before making his rounds around the ship. (Succumb to dirty looks from mechs, as well). Then, it's only then he's able to spend time with you in the confines of his habsuite.

The first time was very uncomfortable. He's twiddling his thumb like a schoolboy as he’s perched on the edge of his birth, glaring at the floor while you're sprawled on the couch, scribbling whatever he uttered onto the paper like it's a holy scripture.

He needs to say something.

Anything to keep the conversations aflow. The sessions were about two hours long — three if it became a little more in depth — and he finds himself short circuiting when you’d throw in an ‘joke’ or two. Apparently, he missed the joke. It flew right over his head. When the rest of the conversation fell off awkwardly, it's only then he realize how inept at casual conversation he is.

"I suppose you can say the commodities there were made were satis-factory." He pauses for a moment, letting it simmer.

You blink a little, the one in your hand twirls for a moment before your palms clutched your mouth, hunching over the chair, shoulders heaving. There was a pleasant sound from your lips. Is that—

"Are you laughing?" He asks, strangely offended.

"Sorry, it's just— mhmaha, eheahag. Hehehnskslk,” You gathered yourself but the cheeks still twitched. “. Is— is that, like, a pun. Are you punning?"

He gave in, looking away. “…Magnus urged me to be a lot less ‘stiff’ with how I deliver certain….statements. ”

“So, you went with puns.” The pen nudges his cheek, playful.

He swats it away with a chuff. “We were discussing about industrial propaganda during the early courses of the war, it’s only appropriate that I put that in.”

“How many more have you got under your sleeve, megs?"

From his faceplate, a small smile cracks. “If you have enough time to spare.”

[iv]

When he looks at you, he's reminded of Orion.

Compassionate yet strong-willed. Accepting yet firm. Perhaps it's because you're as youthful as the first conjure of a star or perhaps he likes to believe that you are. You innate curiosity for knowledge, your naive recklessness for danger; determined to be the hero, despite lacking — it worries him.

In what way does it so?

Sometimes, he half expects you to emerge as a different person. One day, a bright smile on your face, the other, a facade. Your true self. He finds himself dawdling towards the mirror, scrutinizing his faceplate. The creases and wrinkles that amass his grimace, they eased into a gentle smile when he thinks about you.

It’s the little things that gets him.

Your hand on his arm when you speak, the focused adoration in your eyes when he goes on another tirade about his poems, or when he’s particularly feeling a bit sour, you’re always there with your own two cents which breaks a smile out of his face — it makes him feel something he doesn’t want to prod.

“Energon?”

He stares at the outstretched cup, his other servo is cradling his temple, migraine induced. He’s at his desk, hunched over a datapad, stylus working with abandon when you came in, the brief respite of luminescent light flaring his room stark before it shrouds dim again. Everyone had clocked in for the night. Magnus left a few hours earlier. You, on the other hand….

“How…how did you make this?” He’s dumbfounded, watching as the purple swirls around his reflection.

You declare proudly with a puff of your chest. “Being a scientist, you can pull off a few strings or two to get it. Though, I did almost combust a ‘certain’ contraption trying to filter off raw energon. Brainstorm's instructions aren't easy to read. I should really stop trying to crank up the generator to max….”

“Please, i implore you — don’t do that again.”

You shrug, a little grin.He vents. Guess he’ll have to tolerate you for the time being. You set the cup of energon on his desk and peered over a little.

“What’re you up to?”

He feels his face burn. “Annotating the next poem you requested. For our next session. You…wanted to see my earlier poems and their possible significance."

There was a bright twinkle in your eye — too bright he swiveled away for a moment.

“May I?”

“If you have time…”

[v]

It appears interviewing isn't your only vice.

Off you go to expeditions outside the Lost Light, floating about on meteors, wrangling native plants from native planets, returning to med-bay, sometimes, with parched gloves that're burnt at the tips and hair a different color from the chemical abrasions.

Megatron sometimes finds himself on the gurney instead with how much pressure his spark is taking its toll.

Once, he's startled off his armor when you tapped the window from the outside, mouthing about how Brainstorm probably started another fire in the east wing.Safe to say it wasn’t long before the fire reached him. And, you’re the one chipping off the burnt metal parts from his arm, gently cradling his servos.

It's just a little brain worm, he tells himself. Another delusion he conjures because he's so desperate to feel something — anything to contradict his guilt. Your touch is nothing but miniscule and yet he finds himself in front of laboratory often, and he'd look lost when you're greeted at the sight of the warlord dawdling in front of the lab, another excuse concocted on the spot to deter you from the possible reason.

"Isn't he a little too keen on experiments like these?" Perceptor mutters. "I didn't realize he's fond of...whatever new shenanigans they've made. If anything, I surmise an ulterior motive."

"Oh, let him be." Brainstorm waves him off dismissively. " There's no harm in finding new hobbies. He's an ex-warlord let 'im live. Besides, I heard he wanted to be a medic once, can you believe that?"

"Until the day I die, no."

"Oh, Percy, you bore."

"Please, don't even go there "

Megatron blinks as you set down a pink vial on the desk, your own hands gripped his own with a vice, tugging him along to your experiments. Your scruffed up lab coat is half-burnt at the sleeves and the bubbling beaker by your side is driving him up the wall. Don’t you have any sense of self-preservation, whatsoever?

"So, I was working on the prospect of dying acids, right? Not, die die, as in, well, dying. Die as in coloring. Trying so that when they explode it explodes a certain type of color. Neon, too! And here, take a look at this—"

You're ranting. Mouth moving, not stopping. He can't seem to focus. You're so much smaller. Just below his torso, fun-sized, easy to hold and when he's touching your soft parts —you guide his hand to pry open whatever contraption-lock you're making, he finds himself flinching.

You're so...soft.

"I'm what?" You say, yelling over Brainstorm's loud generator resounding across the room.

You're squinting, straining to hear. He wants to peel the goggles away. He wants to see your eyes.Wants to the see the way the luminescent lights freckles off the white like sparkles. He clears his throat, jabbing a finger to whatever contraption he can set your mind on, not at how his faceplate is burning much as the generator is.

"That doesn't look safe."

"That's because it's a bomb." Perceptor emerges behind you both, a scowl on his face, and paid no mind to his startled expression as he makes a beeline towards the other scientist, struggling to hold the generator together. There's a distance muffled yelling and shuffling. You both stare at them, unmoving.

"You build bombs."

"Unethical, I know."

He whirls to look at you; you're focused elsewhere. "That's not what I meant."

"Okay, okay. I might've lied a bit on that Journalism thing. But hey, I've got to make meet ends right? Hm? Megs?” You look around. “Where’d he go?”

[vi]

"What's this?" He's snapped out of his tirade, swivelling his gaze from the dome-ish greenhouse he's been ogling at to you crouched near the pot, gloved hands shoved inside the soil.

He remarks bitterly. "I pour my heart out and you're pulling out weeds?"

"Yup. Wanna help?"

They're in your personal laboratory for today. Given the amount of flora and fauna strewn about the room, Ratchet remarked it was like a greenhouse of some sort. Megatron vents, lumbering from the chair and towards your form. He snagged the recording pen from the table, clicked it and dropped it into the satchel

So much for a moment of heart to heart.

"What's this?" His digits curls out, prodding the petal of the bud, clutched between your palms.

Even when he's crouching, he's still towering over you like a building.

You smile up to him, child-like. "A new kind of flower I made."

"Really, now."

"Oh, come on hear me out."

"If it's complete and utter jargon to mess with my circuits — don't even try."

"Fine, fine, fine. I'll keep it simple."

With a snap of your finger the room became dim and from a pot, you plucked out a flower. It wasn't, however, a normal visage of one. Megatron slowly extends his palm, cradling the plant like it was crystal. The petals are glass like; it sparkled blue, frolicking purple. Against his chassis it glew, a faded tinge of color on the gunmetal grey. His face eased into a smile.

"This is....fascinating. How did you make this? Don't answer that. You'll only give me a headache." He tries to clamp a servo over your lips but you duck away. "Even so, I have no words to conjure... how much I feel about this. What implored you to create such a remarkable plant?"

" Your poem."

He raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?"

"The one where you compared sparks to flowers. In a way, I do see that too." You gestured around. "My own world is like a garden. And i like to keep my garden clean. Weed out the bad stuff, put in the good stuff. But sometimes, new flowers grow amongst the old, and when they do..."

You look up to him with a small smile. "They bloom into something beautiful."

It took him a moment to understand.And when he does, his spark thrummed for a desperate plea for touch. Without thinking, his digits find your chin and reels you close.

He thinks about this often. Your kindness wasn't because you were simply kind. It's because you believed everyone had a chance.

He doesn't deserve one.

It's like everything clicked together. The sullen memories strung itself into shape, now etching across his processors. Limb, lifeless bodies across barren land. Blood smeared the soil dark crimson. What is he doing? This is shameful. Shameful of him. The very species he sought to kill, to snuff out, to eradicate. The wide, spanning field of flowers. Blue, hauntingly beautiful. Those were the lives lost.

You could’ve bloomed amongst them

He shoved you away, not to harshly but in a manner of surprise, jolting much as he did when he first met you. His shoulders grazed the pot on the table as he stood and it toppled to the ground. The shards crackled, breaking on impact. Soil a barrier, sprawled between you both.

His own anger flared, fists clenching.

“Woah, there. Something wrong? Did you get pricked?”

Megatron says nothing as you clean up the mess. Hands plucking the shards off the ground, rambling again. "Man, your shoulders are really wide. Not as big as Mangus's but still, they're like a whole wall of—"

"You should hate me."

You freeze, the shards paused halfway down into the duster, tipping a little over the edge.

Megatron kept his gaze to the floor. He needed to tell you this. He needed to remind you now. He's not what you think he is, and just because he's had his moment of respite with you, he's still, and will always be the Megatron who sought domination through means of violence, ethical or not.

"I know."

Your face smoothens out a moment before it eases back into a smile. The gentle kind.

"I killed your people. Eradicated thousands of them. Torn through vibrant planets, decimated floras, faunas, and life that teemed in those regions. I hurt nature. I hurt it's mother."

"I know."

"Then, why are you so subverscient to your own compassion? Why not take your anger out on me?" He takes a domineering step forward. "I don't understand. A person can't be this forgiving."

"Because it's wrong." You say simply. "Because it won't do anything. Look, just because you think I'm nice to you doesn't mean Im not aware of what you did.Even if I get to break several joints off your sockets, would that get me anywhere? If anything, it'll make me more miserable."

”You’re naive.’’

The flower no longer crackled. No longer bright. Like the broken pot, it lay shattered on the ground, glinting.

"If that’s how you see it..." You trail off, eyes creasing into a frown. "Is this about the poem? I didn't mean to overstep—"

He whirled away without a word. "I need to go."

[vii]

He can't get you out of his mind.

Day by day passes. From night to morning to dawn, he finds himself plagued with thought hes not able to comprehend.

Everytime he wakes up, there's this urge. He finds himself wanting to see you. He steeled himself, however, walking past you when you approach. Answering in clip tones when you ask. Magnus notices he's in his office a lot more recently, pouring through the mountains of datapad like he's on a grip.

"You should rest, Megatron." He tells the captain once.

What returned however is a grunt. Neither affirming nor denying. The enforcer frowns. He'll have to ask you about it. And yet a quick look to the scientist deters his thoughts. You're less bright and while you still have the amiable streak it appears as though you're forcing a grin through it all. Something must've happened. A fight, more preferably. That led to him confronting Rung about it, and the psychiatrist confronting Megatron — in a less subtle way, of course.

The warlord tells him it's just a brain worm, something eating at him for a while.

Something passing,

"I do think that is something quite more." He mutters, stylus crossing another scribbles on the datapad. "Given your nature with the former it's only normal to feel shame to such sentiments. Inter-species relationships dwell on that complication a lot. I get questions regarding guilt, betrayal of their own race and the unethicalities of it all. The only significant point here, however, is how you're willing to approach this problem.”

Rung, straightens his goggles. “How would you like to look at it?"

Megatron ponders. He thinks. Gears churning, scheming. Silent. He wants it to be something more yet he wants it to be nothing beyond what they are. How can he, a warlord whose actions eradicated almost half the cosmos, bring himself to feel even a minuscule hint of happiness? No, he can’t. He doesn’t deserve any of this. It's not like you feel the same.

"Nothing. It's just a fleeting feeling. It'll pass.

"Surely it can't be that easy to put aside."

Megatron frowns. "What, you don't think I can do it?"

Rung pulls a terse smile, folding his fingers over his lap.

"t’s not a matter of whether or not you can do it…" he trails off, unsure. It appeared as though he wanted to say more with how his lips part for a second. "But if that's how you would like to proceed, I am not forcing you. After all, your feelings wouldn’t fare better if I do. The choice is yours."

."I think it's best I keep my distance.

Rung seems a little distraught at that. "Perhaps it's better that you don't. Your feelings, they’re not something you can toy around with such ease. And while they're indeed very complicate, avoiding them is—"

"Don’t pretend to understand how I feel.” Rung flinches at the sudden venom in his tone. “I know how to deal with this. I just need time. Time…time is all I need.

It'll pass. He tells himself.

It never does.

[spacecatbowtie]

I know why - path 1: Dom Din

Interactive story (Path 1 of 3)

Base story | Path 1: Dom Din | Path 2: Dark Din | Path 3: Sweet Din

After the base story, this is one of the endings. Dominant Din.

Warnings: Explicit MDNI 18+

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Chapter word count: 4k

AO3

Tags: #Angst #Smut #Porn With Plot #Mando needs to work on his communications skills #unprotected p in v #Fingering #First POV #no mention of oc name #No use of y/n #I hate y/n #OC wants to be taken care of #OC wants to be independent #kinda forced proximity #Exhibitionism #Interactive #Daddy Dom Din Djarin #sweet din #switch Din

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

I jerk my hand out of his grasp. "Don't pretend to have empathy all of a sudden.. bounty hunter."

 Calling him by the name of his profession, seems to kick him into his feral mode again. Because as soon as the attempt of degrading insult left my lips, it is followed by a pathetic squeal, as his hand shoots up to grab my neck and draw me closer. "Damned girl" He grunts "I don't want you hurt, that is why I didn't allow you to go with me on hunts."   With big eyes I look at him, no sensible thought is able to form in my head.   "Another reason I do not let you come, is because you distract me."   A nervous laugh that sounds more like a wheeze, due to the tight grasp on my neck is the first thing out of my mouth. He does not budge when I push against his chest. "Are.. am.. How.. In what way do I distract you?" The struggle with those words is not just because of the obstruction around my neck.   The grip of his hands on my body tighten slightly for a second, as if he is trying to feel those parts in detail. "In what ways don't you…" His voice is horse and soft.   "What are you implying?" He can not mean what I think he means.   No response. The arm that is not currently holding my neck hostage clumsily moves to my hip. His thumb starts to rub his in little circles there. He is teasing me. I know it. He is probably laughing at me underneath his stupid helmet. He has known all this time.

"Stop torturing me, stop using my feelings for you against me!"   This does get a reaction out of him. Immediately after I spoke the words he draws back a little and he seems to look in to my eyes. "You have feelings for me?"   "Yea duh!" I almost burst out in laughter, and can just about stop myself from mocking him with an bad imitated voice. "Don't pretend you don't know. I know what you are doing." How stupid does he think I am? "with your 'sweet girl'" I use my low voice impression of him here anyway.   He does not appear to appreciate my imitation of him. The setting sun reflects its orange glow on his armour when he turns us both. He is facing the wall now, and I stand with my back against it. "You assume too much about me."   "What does that mean?" I shove his chest plate again.

  No reaction.

  Okay, I am done.   When pushing against his chest does not work, I try to claw his hands from my throat. What in the hell does he mean? why is he always so infuriating and confusing. He seriously needs to work on his communication skills.  "Be clear for once in your life, and tell me what you mean!"   I don't know where this build-up rage suddenly comes from. Maybe because he caught me running from him, or it's from pushing down my feelings all this time, maybe it is his reaction that of lack thereof that angers me. Whatever it is, the only thing I can do is fight him. My hands thug at his arm and wrist, so hard my fingers start hurting. My feet and legs kick at him, trying to escape his firm uncomfortable hold on me.

Perhaps I fight against the physical, just the same as the mental hold he has on me. Him being himself draws me in, his voice, his posture. Hell, even the way he walks makes me want to consume him with everything I have. It makes me want to worship him, and it scares me. During my tantrum he has been incredibly still. His grip does not falter, he does not even seem to breathe.   "I swear if you don't let me go and tell me what is going on I will literally kill you!"   Finally, he speaks. But from everything he could have said, I did not expect this.   "Maker, I really want to have sex with you right now."   My body freezes.   "Excuse me?" I must have misheard that.   "You know what I said."   The hand on my hip moves to my stomach. "Can I touch you?"   Time seems to freeze. I am aware of everything, the cold wall against my back, the setting sun encasing the man before me. The man that now wants to give me what I've imagined during so many day dreams. All I can do in response is nod. The voice that was full of fury just before, is lost now.   "Okay, I will take care of you." His hand slides slowly over the boning of my corset, leaving a hot boiling feeling there. "Breathe, girl"

Sure enough, I had forgotten to do that. Steadily I blow out a deep breath.

His fingers continue downwards, past the rim of my pants. It is quite a tight fit with his big hand there. He takes a step closer, so as not to put his arm in an uncomfortable angle. His chest touches my face, draining me in his overwhelming smell. I think I am even more sensitive to everything about him right now.

Clamping my fingers behind the edges of his chest plate, to pull him even closer. His breathing sounds heavy above me. He is no longer taking hold of my neck anymore, the hand is now supporting himself against the wall above my head. Perhaps he is handling the tension of this situation worse than me.

The leather of his glove finally touches my skin. It is as if the reality of the situation is just now kicking in. Other than tense, I feel apprehensive and self-conscious now. Why is he acting this way now, it is too big of a change. I always thought he hated me. And now He stands here before me, with his hand down my pants.

His armour is hard and cool when I let my head lean against it. Closing my eyes, I try to stop myself from shaking.

Breathe.

Why is he doing this? Does he like me too in that way? Or is he doing this to apologize for acting angry with me?   He must notice my sudden shyness, because he pulls his hand back.   Blinking I force myself back in the present. "No, you dont have to stop. Unless you want to, but I-"   His finger touches my lips, to hush me. "I know." He proceeds to pull of his gloves. "I need you to be relaxed for me." 

The view of his naked hands in front of me, makes my brain do anything but being relaxed. I have never seen any part of his skin before, let alone his full hands. I wasn't even sure he was human or just humanoid. But hell is he human! His hands are big. I knew that, I could see that with his gloves on. What I could not see before, is how long and thick his fingers are. And how the muscles shift when he moves his hand. The hand that moves even closer, and finally touches me. His warm skin caresses my cheeks.   "I will take care of you." He tells me again.

I nod my head and rest it back against the wall. "Yes, okay."

Not knowing what to do with my hands, i rest them on his biceps, feeling his hard arms, capable of handling me in any way he wants. Slowly he moves his bare hand down my stomach, dipping underneath the waistband again.

Breathe.

The tips of his fingers reach the wet spot between my legs, only now I can feel how excited I am for him. I close my eyes and hide my face by dipping it down. But my head falls back as he digs the rest of his fingers between my lips.

"Oh fuking stars." I breathe and I step a little wider, so he has better access.

A low sound rumbles in his chest as wetness coats his hand. He explores me slowly, caressing softly back and forth, but every time he only skims over my entrance. Finally he dips one of his fingers a little more in, but then abandons it, making me let out a pathetic whine. He chuckles darkly as he teases me more, without touching my clit or my entrance in the way I need.

Clinging to his arms, I look up at him. "I thought you were going to take care of me." I grit my teeth. "All you do is put me on edge, but you never d-"

His fingers are inside me. I think it's two but I can't be sure. Even though I am all wet and slippery, the stretch makes me gasp.

"Oh, yes, Maker."

He pulls out again, and then slowly inserts them again, hooking his fingers as he pulls them back out. "It's not the Maker that is making you feel this way, girl."

"Mando, please." This man is making me beg. I never beg, maybe sometimes to get what I want as I look up at him with puppy eyes, but I never truly beg and mean it. For weeks, for months I have been watching him, with a growing feeling of butterflies in my belly when he is close, when he addresses me, when he grunts as he lifts something heavy. Now, this man has me pressed up against the wall with his hand down my pants, making me feel all kinds of wild.

"Is this what you wanted? For me to make you feel good?" His voice is rough, breathing heavily. He inserts another finger carefully and painfully slow.

I respond with an affirming mewl.

"For how long have you wanted this?" 

Am I going to tell him the truth? Am I going to admit that I have been wanting him badly for two and a half months, if not more, and that I basically fantasized about him since the day I laid eyes on him? His fingers dig deeper inside me, the palm of his hand angled so it rubs my clit. I grind my hips against him, searching for the release I crave.

"Tell me, girl. For how long have you wanted me to touch you?"  

It's hard to think with his hand making me feel all sorts of new things. But i try my best to answer him. "Since you told me to get some sleep." 

His movements slow as he listens to my soft voice.

 I continue. "After you cleared out a room for me." 

He draws his hand back, and I stiffen, afraid to have said something wrong. Did I come across as too desperate? pathetic? 

His fingers glisten in the twilight, as he looks down at his hand. My face reddens and I half wish I could disappear into the darkening night as my arousal drips from his hand.

Rubbing his fingers together, he bring them closer to his face, inspecting it. "That was the first day." 

Only after a few seconds I nod. There is no use denying.

"You liked me telling you to get some sleep?"

Again I nod, not daring to look at where his eyes are behind the visor. I look at his chest, then at the ground, and then back again.

"You like my voice?" It was more of a statement than a question.

I don't want to nod again, so I speak. "It just sounds nice, but I am sure you have heard that many times before."

"A few times." 

With his thumb he slowly swipes over my bottom lip, coating it with my own slick. "You have made quite a mess out of me." Then he pushes two fingers inside my mouth. "Be a good girl, and clean it up for me." 

Understanding where he is getting at, I suck on them and lick his thick digits clean. He hums in approval, making sure I have every last bit. For a few seconds he just looks at me, at least that is what he looks like to be doing. His fingers slip from my mouth.

I shrink underneath his gaze as I look up at him. Is he having second thoughts? He can't back off now, I want him, I need him. I slide my hands from his arms down over his chest, and even lower. Still I search for any reaction from him, any way his body language betrays what he wants, what he is feeling. But he remains stoic apart from the low breaths that move his chest and sound through his modulator.

His head tilts as my finger slides over the closing of his pants, as if he is inspecting me, waiting and watching for what I will do next. It takes a little struggle to open the fly and I have to look down to see what I'm doing. I don't dare to look up as I slowly grab a hold of him with a slightly trembling hand. A gasp escapes me as my fingers make contact with his warm skin. I'm not a virgin, I have played around a bit in the past. Some long term, some just for one night. But touching him finally feels new and different, as if I am the shy girl I was on my first time.

He is hard, the tip completely exposed. A low sound rumbles in his chest as I wrap my fingers around his grit and pull him out of his pants. He still has not moved as I look up. Experimentally, I move my hand slowly, swiping my thumb over the smooth head.

For the first time in a while he speaks, his voice rough and soft. "Make it wet first." It does not sound gentle, it sounds like he is refraining himself, holding himself back from doing what he wants to do.

I almost apologize at his request. How could I forget, I knew it could be uncomfortable for men to move against the sensitive skin without lubing it up first. Trying to remain controlled I lower myself steadily to the ground, settling on my knees. His helmet tilts further down, following me as I kneel before him. Giving a small lick on the head, I test the waters. A grunt from him challenges me to continue. I open my mouth further and take him between my lips, my tongue teasing the underside of his length.

He throws his head back with a delicious sound. One of his hands shoots to my head, tangling in my hair whilst he uses the other to steady himself against the wall. Looking down at me again, he guides my head, pushing me deeper on to him until he hits the back of my throat. The pressure makes me gag, but his reaction causes a burning heat to consume my lower stomach. 

With a growl he pulls me to my feet and turns me around, so my back is pressed to his hard chest. He keeps me against him as he takes a step back. "Hands on the wall." He says.

The wall is far more than arms-length away, so I try to take a step forward, but he keeps his hands tightly on my hips, preventing me from doing so. I look back at him in confusion. "What?"

"Hands on the wall." He speaks slower now.

After hesitating for a moment, I lean forward. Bending my hips at almost a ninety degree angle, I reach out to lean against the rough surface with my palms.

"Can you keep them there, sweet girl?" Mando's fingers dig in my waist before traveling up my torso.

I give him a nod, not trusting my voice right now. 

"Good." His fingers hook underneath the waistband of my pants and yanks them down. They end up half way down my legs.

I gasp and want to stand up straight again, feeling too exposed being bend over like this. A hand pressing between my shoulder blades prevents me from doing so. "Don't. Move."

Looking around frantically I search for possible onlookers. "What if someone walks in on us?"

"Then they will have something perfect to look at." Fingers slide over my pussy once more, until his hand cups me. "You are perfect." The hand is removed, only for it to be replaced with the tip of his length. It teases painfully slow from my clit and back up, spreading around my wetness and his pre-cum. This thought makes me shiver. It feels so filthy and naughty. After all those day dreams, this was finally really happening. 

"I need to know how you feel inside me." I push back against him, searching for more friction.

His voice sounds like he is as deep in this moment as I am. He sounds as if it hurts him not to give in to his desires right now. "Patience, girl." With his foot he kicks my legs wider apart as far as they will go with my pants down my legs. He is spreading me for him, exposing me even more. I don't care about decency or shame anymore. I need him, now.

"Please," It sounds more pathetic than I wanted it too. Tears of frustration start to form in my eyes. "Please, just fuck me."

Then he is where I need him, and he is pushing in. Slowly. I have never felt this good in my life, I'm sure of it. This moment right here, is what I have needed my whole life. I could die peacefully now. He is not even all the way in yet, he is still moving inside me, penetrating deep, far surpassing the length of his fingers.

"Oh, maker yes, shit, fuck." My voice is even less controlled now, high-pitched and loud.

"Watch your words, darling." His grip on my waist tightens, almost painfully so. Finally he is settled in all the way, his hipbones against my butt. "You feel... Dank Farrik, you feel amazing." Just as slowly as he entered me, he pulls back out again. A finger trails over the place where we connect, feeling how much I am stretched around him.

Is he watching? Is he looking at how my pussy grips him, how well I take him? As he has completely pulled out, he pushes in again, way faster now, but still not hard and fast enough for me. He keeps on this rhythm of fucking me, almost lovingly. 

"I love the sounds you make for me, sweet girl." His voice rasps through his modulator as his hand caresses my thighs and back. My arms almost give out, and would have slumped to the wall if it wasn't for his tight grip on my waist. "I told you to keep your hands there and not to move." Fingers scratch against my scalp as he digs in my hair. "I need you to listen to me." He sounds threatening, the voice he uses on his bounties when they are a hand full.

"Harder.. I need it harder." 

He pulls my head back by my hair and starts fucking me with a knee-buckling pace. A hand on my shoulder is used to shove me back on to him with every thrust. "Is this what you wanted, sweet girl? Have you wanted me to use you like this, and kept it quiet all this time? You have starved me of this tight wet cunt." His breath is fast and he lets out beautiful groans between words. He is truly undone, the normally silent mandalorian has turned in a primal man without restraints he normally lives by. The filthy words continue as he keeps pistoning in to me. With every trust, I feel him spreading me open, hitting every part inside me that makes me drool. This sensation is almost, if not way more delicious than the orgasms I give myself on the thought of him.

"Keep making those pretty noises for me." The already deep voice, is even more low and raspy now, and I decide that I really love this unfiltered version of him. 

"I'm going to fill you up, fill up your tight pussy until it leaks out." The groan he lets out at this thought makes me clench around him. "But first, you are going to cum for me." The hand on my waist disappears, as does the support it provided. "Keep still." He orders when my knees buckle under my own weight. The hand then moves over my lower stomach and further down. My whole body shudders when his fingertips touch my clit. It is sensitive and swollen from the pleasure he is giving me.

"Mando, fuck yes please let me cum. keep fucking me please" I don't have any control over my words anymore. They spill out as he keeps softly caressing my clit with his fingers. Not only does he just rub the bundle of nerves, he too swipes over my lips and the place where he rams inside me. Never has a man done that to me before. Immediately I feel the familiar heat between my legs grow hotter.  Even by myself I have not managed to reach near an orgasm this quick.

Letting go of my hair, his hand seeks the wall for support. I can feel everything of him. His warm stomach and the cold beskar chest plate press against my back. This angle hits another spot inside me that makes my body feel as if it is flying. It does not take long for me to cum all over his hand.

He keeps on fucking me through my aftershocks and I feel he is getting close himself too. His groans become silent and breathing is getting heavy.

"Stars, yes, yes!" I moan as I feel him twitch inside me.

Spurts of cum fill me and he lets out the hottest, toe curling gasps. With a few extra deep and slow thrusts he makes sure to fuck his own cum deep inside me.

"Ner cyar'ika, that was perfect." Slowly he pulls out and straightens up. I attempt to turn around, but he keeps me in place. "You are perfect." He kneels down to put on my panties, probably knowing it will catch his cum as it leaks out of me. The pants are next, he pulls them up from where they have been stuck on my ankles.

He steps back and I turn around, finally facing him again. Nothing has changed, he is still his old self. The indecipherable mask, the broad but slightly static posture. I don't know why this surprise me, of course he hasn't changed. But for some reason it does feel different, he feels different. 

A sudden wave of emotions floods over me. There is fear, of him regretting what we have done. There is hope and love too, but also something that feels like guilt. There is frustration of how he has treated me for the past months, making me think he hated me. And there is relief, both physically as emotionally.

He just stands there, in front of me. Maybe he isn't sure of how to act himself. So I do the first thing that comes to mind in between the chaos of emotions inside of me. I jump at him, cling to him, my arms around his neck. I hug him close and tight, my face buried in the crook of his neck. The rough fabric of his cape rubs against my skin. I smell him, the warm heated scent of him. I have never smelled him so strong before, just whims of it when I walk past him. 

At first he stiffens, probably taken of guard by my hug attack. But then his shoulders relax and he wraps his arms around me. One around my lower waist and one over my shoulder blades, engulfing me, keeping me safe.

"Mando..." It sounds muffled in the fabric.

I feel him resting the helmet on my shoulder. "I've got you." He squeezes me tighter. "I've got you."

I could cry. I could but I don't, I keep that for later when I'm alone in my bunk. Now I just want to be here with him, nothing else.

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Base story | Path 1: Dom Din | Path 2: Dark Din | Path 3: Sweet Din

Let me know what u think! Which of the 3 paths did you like more? <3

[forever-rogue]

Eddie Munson request(this has been in my head 4 awhile) Eddie and reader seem total opposites, from music taste,fashion, etc. But they start bonding over fantasy books,find out that they aren't so different, and become close friends. Reader is concerned that Eddie tends to forget to take care of himself, and worries about him. Eddie wonders why shes concerned about his well being, she says " I care for u a lot "leads to nervous confessions. Idk lol u can change or do anything,if it fits better💞

AN | Anyways, have I mentioned lately how much I love him? Yes? Well, you are once again reminded. Basically - in which Eddie gets sick and you take care of him. Enjoy 🥰

Warnings | Language, Pining Idiots

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 3.3k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Shit," you glanced at your watch before looking up and down the long hallway. You’d gotten turned around, still finding the campus confusing, despite the fact that it wasn’t huge. And now you were going to be late for class…again. You hiked your backpack higher onto your shoulder, letting out a long sigh, “damn it.”

“Heya,” from around the corner popped a tall, lithe figure that caused you to gasp in surprise. His smile turned sheepish as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. You’d seen him around before, in the two weeks you’d been at Hawkins, but hadn’t yet spoken to him. You were pretty sure his name was Eddie, “didn’t mean to scare you but I heard you…well, cursing to yourself and couldn’t help but wonder if you needed some help.”

“Y-yeah,” you admitted with a small huff, a flush already warming up your face, but you were unsure if that was due to your embarrassment or nerves, “I got turned around again and can’t find Mr. Morris’ classroom for calculus.”

“Calculus,” a little smirk tugged up the corner of his movie as you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from making more of a fool out of yourself, “smart girl. I can show you where the room is, if you’d like. But you’re going to be a little late.”

“Can’t really make much more of a fool out of myself than I already have,” you shrugged lightly, desperately trying to play off his little term of endearment, “wait - shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Study hall,” he murmured, although there was much less studying that happened than anything else. He’d been using the time recently to work on a new dnd campaign, “I guess that leaves you with two options: I can show you to the classroom, or you can rebel and come hang out with me.”

“That’s a bold assumption that I would even want to hang out with you,” there was a teasing lilt to voice that caused him to laugh lightly. You held out your hand and told him your name, “but either way it’s nice to meet you. It’s hard to meet new friends, especially when you’re fresh here as a senior.”

“Eddie,” aha, you had been correct after all, “and trust me - it’s hard to make friends with people, even if you’ve been here your whole life.”

“Fantastic,” your sarcasm caused both of you to laugh. You liked him, you quickly decided; he looked the complete opposite of you and yet you found it incredibly easy to talk to him. What was that old saying? Opposites attract or something like that.

“So, whaddya say?” he rocked back and forth on heels, as if it really was a question on what you wanted to do, “class? Or hanging out with your new friend Eddie?”

“New friend, huh?” you asked and he nodded eagerly, “alright then. What have you got in mind to pass the time?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Whatcha reading?” Eddie sat down across from you, a big, dopey smile on his face as you beamed at him. You could feel a few people turn to watch the two of you, but paid it no mind. You were well aware of the fact that the two of you presented a very clashing picture; you were soft and delicate while he was rough and hardened. But if you anyone gave him more than a five second chance, they would realize just how wonderful of a person he truly was. 

“Nothing,” you snapped the book shut without even marking your page and tossed it face down on the bench next to you. He rested his elbow on the table and put his hand in his hand as he watched you with curiosity, “what’s up, Eddie?”

“Nothing,” he repeated as you nodded, “didn’t look like nothing, sweetheart. You looked pretty invested.”

“Nope,” you insisted, but he was already sneaking his arm under the table and snatched up the well worn paperback. You barely protested, instead trying to gauge his reaction. When you noticed that his face lit up, you visibly relaxed, “The Gunslinger? How very…unexpected.”

“I…” you worried your bottom lip as he tapped his fingers over the cover, “it’s a good series. I really like Stephen King.”

He leaned in and crooked his finger towards you. You couldn’t help the bit of nervous laughter that bubbled up, “you, sweetheart, are a nerd. A grade A, certified nerd. Who would have thought?”

“I am not!” you were giggling now and couldn’t help but gently put your hand on his cheek, leaning in further, “I am not a nerd, Eddie Munson.”

“You are,” he insisted with a cheeky laugh, “there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Nerds are the best, and sometimes they’re pretty cute. You don’t have to hide who you are. Not with me.”

“Fine,” you gave in and sat back down, missing the feeling of his soft skin under your hand. You were pretty sure that you were the one he was calling cute, but weren’t even going to delve into right now. Your mind was going haywire enough, “I am a nerd. What’s even more so, I’m probably a dork too.”

“Even better,” his smile was so easy and infectious, “I have an important question for you. Well, two really, but one is dependent on the other.”

“Go on…”

“Have you heard of Dungeons and Dragons?”

“Yes,” you answered without hesitation and he perked up immediately, “I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you play.”

“I don’t just play,” he playfully scoffed before leaning in to whisper in your ear, “I’m the DM.”

“Consider me impressed,” you grinned, “now what’s the second question?”

“Want to come hang out with me…and my friends?”

“Yeah,” he handed your book back over, which you quickly slipped into your backpack, “I’d like that a lot.”

“Once you join, you can never leave,” he teased, “you’ll be tarnished forever - last opportunity to back out.”

“Not a chance, Munson,” you almost jumped as you followed, passing for a moment to press a kiss to cheek, which caused an immediate flush of pink to color his cheeks, “I think it’s you that’s stuck with me.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Eddie!” you’d knocked on his door and waited for a response, but nothing came. After a few minutes you grabbed the spare key from the spot where it was hidden and let yourself into his trailer. It was quiet, almost too quiet, and you knew he was home. A bit of worry prickled up and you wondered if something had happened in the time Wayne had left for the day and your arrival, “Eds?”

Nothing looked out of the place so you slowly walked back to his bedroom, softly knocking on the partially open door. When a heavy yawn met your years, you finally relaxed, “come in.”

“Hi,” you grinned when you stepped in and saw that he was still bundled in his blanket. He gave you a small smile as you went and sat on the edge of the bed, “look at you, sleepyhead. It’s almost noon.”

“Shit,” he groaned. You’d had plans to leave early for breakfast before going out to the lake, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I-I wasn’t feeling too good last night and I thought I could sleep it off.”

You shook your head both in amusement and admonishment at him before reaching over and gently touching his face. He sounded a little raspy, and cheeks and forehead were warm, “you don’t have to apologize for getting sick, silly. I’m pretty sure you have a cold - how does your body feel?”

“Tired,” he admitted, “achy.”

“Well then,” your touch was gentle as you brushed a few roguish curls of his face, “breakfast and the lake will always be there another day. But today, you’re going to let me take care of you.”

“No,” he protested weakly; while he didn’t want you to potentially catch whatever he had, he also would give almost anything to spend time with you. The two of you had grown closer than he’d ever thought over the last couple of months. You still managed to make his heart skip a few beats whenever he saw you - what he didn’t know was that he did the same to you, “you’ll get it too.”

“If I’m going to get whatever you have, it’s already too late for that,” you insisted, “we spend all of our time together. And on top of that, I know you won’t take proper care of yourself, Eddie Munson. So you’re going to let me take care of you instead. Don’t even try and argue.”

“I like it when a woman takes charge,” his grin was cheeky, but he quickly came down with a small coughing spell which just caused you to give him that look.

“I’m going to get you some tea and make breakfast,” you stood up before he could say anything else, “you need to keep hydrated and eat something. After that you’re taking a hot shower and getting some clean clothes on. Yes?”

“Yeah,” his stomach flipped as he noticed the soft expression on your face, “you don’t have to do this, ya know.”

“I want to, Eddie,” you promised; he couldn’t remember the last time someone had given him this much attention and…love. You held his gaze for a moment, feeling like he could see straight through you. When you couldn’t take it any longer, you cleared your throat and looked away, “I’ll be back in a few.”

“Thanks, babe.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───-

Thanks babe. Those two simple words were ping-ponging around your head the entire time you shuffled around the small kitchen, throwing together some food for breakfast. Thanks babe. He had to know the effect that had over you - the effect he had over you. Maybe you were that obvious in your affections too, and just hadn’t realized it. But…no. You were friends - good friends - that was all.

By the time you had a cup of tea ready for him, topped off with a bit of honey, you walked back to his room and found him back asleep. You couldn’t help your smile as you set the steaming mug on his bedside table. His blanket had fallen down, exposed his naked torso and it became a herculean task not to stare. You allowed yourself a quick peek before tucking him in and smoothing his hair back. You definitely should not have been having these thoughts about your friend while he was there sick and sleeping. 

You’d let him sleep for a little while, bringing him breakfast when he was awake. You were perched on the other side of the bed, making sure he had everything he needed, and he’d insisted on sharing the food with you, not taking no for an answer. He was just as stubborn as you were. 

When he was done, you went and turned on the shower, trying to find the perfect temperature before going back to him. 

“Do you have clean pajamas?” you held out your hand to help him up from bed, and he slid his hand into yours without hesitation. When he stood up, you saw that he was only wearing a pair of gray sweatpants, hanging low on his hips. Of course you immediately zoned in on that, staring at the dark patch of hair trailing down from his belly button and disappearing under the waistband. 

“You alright?” There was a bit of teasing behind his question but you quickly recovered and just gave him a nod before gently pushing him in the direction of the bathroom.

“I’ll grab a clean towel and some clean clothes for you,” you were whispering, not trusting your own voice not to give you away, “I’ll lay them on the counter but I…I won’t look. Promise. I mean there’s the shower curtain so I wouldn’t see anything, but I, ugh - I’m not gonna watch you shower. That would be weird - n-not that I wouldn’t want to see, but I - wait. No, I mean-”

“Relax,” he laughed at your nervous stammering as your face warmed up. Would it be too much to ask for the floor to open up and swallow you whole? It would have been better than having to look at him again, “you’re cute when you’re nervous.”

“I’m not…” you waved your hand before stepping out of the bathroom and almost closing the door the whole way, “b-be right back.”

You could hear him giggling under his breath as you waited for him to get into the shower, listening for the swish of the curtain. You had to get a hold of yourself before you made a complete fool of yourself. 

“Fuck,” you hissed as you dug into his dresser to grab some pants and a shirt. His drawers were surprisingly organized for what you’d expected from him, and it didn’t take long to gather the items. They were soft in your hands and you couldn’t stop yourself from bringing them to your face and inhaling the smell of the cheap detergent mixed with his scent. It was intoxicating and you were half tempted to steal a shirt for yourself to wear, “shit. Get it together.”

You rapped your knuckles against the door before quickly darting in to set everything on the counter and almost ran back out. While he was showering, you grabbed some clean linens out of the small closet that served as storage, and changed his sheets for him. It wasn’t much, but you hoped the feeling of being clean and sleeping in a clean bed would make him feel a little better. 

Grabbing the dirty sheets, along with the discarded clothes laying on the floor, you started the washer. It wasn’t much, but it was one less thing for him or Wayne to worry about. When you heard the shower turn off and the curtain pull back again, your heart started racing. You were cleaning up the kitchen, unsure of what to do when he came back out. Should you pretend the moment never happened? Should you leave as soon as he was settled back in bed? Should you run out now? Should - 

“Hey,” his voice was soft as he stood on the other side of the counter, a lazy smile on his features. He still looked pale and tired, but he did look better, and hopefully felt better, “thank you, for everything. You didn’t have to do any of this, sweetheart.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” you insisted gently, “you’d do the same for me.”

“Of course,” he motioned for you to follow him back to his room and dropped the tea towel in your hands without hesitation and padded after him. His entire face lit up when he noticed that you’d picked up around the room and he now had clean bedding, “holy shit, baby. You definitely didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Seeing your reaction made it worth it alone,” your smile was shy and couldn’t quite bring yourself to look at him, “being sick sucks so hopefully this makes it a little better.”

“More than a little,” he insisted with a small yawn before slowly crawling back under the blankets. You stood there, happy to see that he was feeling even minutely better, before deciding to leave so he could rest, “can I ask you for one more thing?”

“What is it?”

“Will you stay?” his question was so soft you weren’t even sure you’d heard him properly until he scooted over to make more room for you. You chewed on your bottom lip for a moment, knowing that you really wanted to join him, but also not wanting to push any more boundaries, “please?”

You answered his question by gently getting into the bed next him, the warmth from his body radiating onto you. He threw the blanket over you as you laid down next him, faces barely inches from each other. How was it possible that he was even more beautiful up close? You could see all of the long eyelashes around his pretty, honeyed eyes, and his full, pink lips. You spotted some faint freckles dusted along the top of cheeks and nose, a little detail you hadn’t noticed before. 

“You’re staring,” he grinned as you just playfully scoffed, “don’t worry, I like staring at you too. You’re really fuckin’ pretty.”

“So are you, Eddie,” you couldn’t contain the nervous bit of laughter that bubbled up as you buried your face into the pillow. He reached a tentative hand over, tracing his fingers along your jaw before stroking your cheek. Despite the rough calloused fingertips, his touch was delicate and tender.

“Why’d you stay? When you realized I was sick?” you knew where his questioning was going, knowing you needed to tread lightly if you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself, “you didn’t have to.”

“I…I wanted to,” you whispered, “I…I wanted to make sure you’re taken care of. You’re always looking out for us, love, and you put yourself last. I want to make sure you know…how much you mean to me. I want to take care of you, Eddie. I…I care a lot about you. Like…a lot, a lot.”

“Yeah?” he asked softly as bit your lip and nodded. He touched your face again, tenderly running his thumb under your bottom lip, “I love you.”

“W-what?” your eyes widened in surprise as he laughed softly, “Eddie-”

“I’d kiss you right now,” and oh. If that wasn’t enough to make your heart practically melt and butterflies to flutter around in your tummy. He leaned in closer, so just the tip of his nose was brushing against yours, “but I don’t want to get you sick.”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” the smile on your face threatening to break it in half, “we’re in your bed, inches apart. If I’m going to get sick, I’m going to get sick.”

“My pretty girl,” he brushed his knuckle over your cheekbone, “my smart girl. If that’s the case, does that mean I can kiss you?”

“Yes,” you breathed nervously, “y-you can kiss me.”

He cupped your cheek in his hand and closed the little bit of remaining distance, pressing his lips softly to yours. It was a slow, soft little thing, and if he hadn’t been sick, you’d have grabbed him and kissed him harder. Instead, you melted into his sweet, saccharine touches, “when I’m not sick, I’m going to kiss you properly.”

“Oh yeah?” you leaned in and stole a few more pecks from him, “I look forward to that.”

“Promise baby,” he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest, “is this okay?”

“More than,” you rested your head on his chest before tangling your legs up with his, “will you do something for me now?”

“Hmm?”

“Rest,” you closed your eyes and held onto him tightly, “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“I can do that,” he kissed the top of your head before relaxing into the soft pillow and blankets. 

“Oh and Eddie? One more thing,” he hummed under his breath, able to feel you smiling against him, “I love you too.”

[pumcafe]

Jealous

Content Contains: NSFW, fem reader, first person, college au, friends turned to lovers, Yoichi is a playboy, but he gets jealous, you get jealous too, unrequited love??, creampie, some possessiveness, i don’t proofread

Word Count: 6.8k (do I ever shut up!!!!!) 

“Ichi,” I tapped the zoned out man’s forehead. 

No response.

”Yōichi!” I whisper-yelled before backhanding his forehead a little harder this time. 

His eyes snapped to me, refocusing. “You want me to kill you for sure,” he glared. 

Huffing, I crossed my arms. “You invited me out to study together, why are you upset that I don’t wanna waste my time while you do nothing?” I sighed before closing my laptop, leaning forward to rest my head on the table. “You literally have nothing written down, and every time I ask a question, you’re unfocused.”

”It’s boring,” Yōichi simply shrugged before leaning back in the library chair, resting his hands on the back of his neck. His unbothered attitude annoyed the hell out of me. 

“Then why were you so insistent on coming here? I could’ve finished all of my work at home in half of the time,” I softly groaned. Yōichi’s gaze was slowly unfocusing again, but this time I followed his eyes. 

He was looking at the sole girl sitting behind the library’s service desk. 

I rolled my eyes before sitting back up to put my things into my bag. Yōichi didn’t come back to earth until I was sliding my chair back under the table. 

“Huh? Where’re ya going?” I rolled my eyes once again in annoyance, checking around the table to make sure I didn’t forget anything. He couldn’t be serious.

“I didn’t come here to waste my time while you ogle a girl. I’m going back home to finish my work,” my tone was flat. I ignored his rushed movements behind me as I made my way to the doors. 

I was nothing but a few steps in front of the library doors before Yōchi caught up to me. Internally I was once again amazed at his incredible speed, externally though, I was ignoring him. 

He walked beside me. “I-I wasn’t ogling her,” he began to protest, “just…” I didn’t bother looking at him, he was going to continue whether I indicated that I was listening or not. “I talked to her a couple of days ago and she’s so nice dude,” dude, she’d never get called dude. “I’m trying to get a feel of her,” I quickly side eyed him, catching a glance of his smug smile.

He’d get her, he’d get her like he gets every girl he sets his sights on. The same gentleman-like act, the same bright toothy smile, and the same soft words that lure them all into his room while his dorm was empty. I’d never experience any of that. 

Not that I wanted to anyway. I mean, to be buttered up until you were pumped and dumped? To wait until he’s bored enough to comb through his roster he calls a contact list? It’s gotta be a loneliness I hoped to never experience, especially with someone as warm as Yōichi Kuramochi. 

I rolled my eyes once more and kept walking. “Then just ask her on a date,” I offered emptily. This is a routine at this point. 

“You think she’d say yes?” It was like we were following an unwritten script. He jogged a bit in front of me, turning around so we were face to face. 

“You’re gonna run into someone Ichi,” this was a tedious pattern I found myself in. “You know she’s gonna say yes.” There’s no way he didn’t know how I felt about all of this. 

His shoulders rose and dropped as he pretended to ponder, “You never know, she could have a boyfriend or something.” ‘As if that’s actually stopped them,’ if it was in my thoughts, it was probably Yoichi’s too.

”You wanna head back to my dorm? We’ll actually study this time, scout’s honor,” he raised three fingers and flashed me a toothy grin. 

I walked the familiar route to his dorm in silence, thinking about how I got in this predicament. Was it when I didn’t shut him down as he talked about his latest friends with benefits situation? Was it when he took my best friend back to his room when I brought her to meet him and his dorm mates? Maybe it began when I first sat two seats to the left of him in our History of Western Art course, our professor automatically pairing us up for almost every project. 

Has it really been almost a year since then?

Yoichi yawned loudly, stretching backwards. I glanced at the time in the lower corner of my laptop, 20:47. I let out a small yawn myself before closing my laptop, sliding the device into my backpack. “I should get going,” I spoke softly, not wanting to awaken Miyuki who was already fast asleep on the couch across from us. 

“Want me to walk with you?” Yōichi offered, his voice a bit louder than mine as he knew Kayzua wasn’t that easy to wake up. 

I shook my head no. It was only a two minute walk to my apartment complex, and I didn’t want my roommate asking Yōichi if he had any free time. 

“Bye Kaz,” I whispered before leaving, offering a silent nod to Yoichi before heading out. 

I realized there was no one in the apartment by the time I got home. I sighed in relief, happy to not have to recount my whole day. By the time I got into bed, it was only 23:20. It felt too early to go to bed, but the melatonin was starting to kick in and I didn’t feel like fighting it.

I felt my phone buzz before I was completely engulfed by sleep. 

The sound of soft trumpets accompanied by a piano pulled me into consciousness. I clicked the off button and rubbed my face. My fingers moved to unlock my phone before my eyes even fully opened. I was greeted with three messages from Yōichi after pulling down my notifications, all sent while I was sleeping. 

You left your pencil case.

Five minutes after; You like Kazuya?

Two minutes; Let’s walk to the library after your last class.

I rolled my eyes at the last text, my finger hovering over the letter n, hesitant. Where do you wanna meet?

The response was almost immediate, I’ll wait outside of your class. My heart rate briefly increased before I threw my phone down onto my bed. 

“Hey,” Yōichi was waiting for me right by the class door, sitting on one of the hall’s benches. 

I nodded in his direction, making my way over to him, “Hey.”

Yoichi slid his backpack to the front of his body before he began digging through it, presenting my pencil case after a few seconds. “Here ya go, you left it on the floor.” 

“Thanks,” I took it from him. Our fingertips brushed together and I had to use all my restraint to not just snatch my hand back. “I was exhausted last night, I barely remember falling asleep,” I began the conversation. “Not as tired as Kaz though, did he sleep all night?” I laughed lightly at the image of a drooling Kazuya splayed over the couch hours before it was even midnight. 

“Mhm, like a baby,” Yōichi’s voice didn’t carry as much brightness as his face did. His response was also uncharacteristically short.

”Practice must’ve been tough on him. Are you gonna join them today?” He missed out on yesterday for Ms. Librarian, I’m sure there would be hell to pay when he couldn’t produce a good enough excuse to the coach for skipping. 

He held the door open and I muttered a quick thanks before his response, “Yeah, it doesn’t start until 3 though so we got a couple of hours.” 

We entered the library and sat in the same spot as yesterday, I fought to keep my mood from plummeting into Hell. “I don’t have a lot of studying that I haven’t already done,” I offered in an attempt to hint that I didn’t want to be here long, “finals week is almost over.” 

He nodded as if he understood, but his eyes showed that he wasn’t even focused on the present, just the future. I sighed, almost feeling sorry for the poor girl, but more so for feeling sorry for myself for even feeling a hint of jealousy over the situation. 

“When are you gonna ask her out?” I broke after the first few minutes of complete silence. I couldn’t keep rereading the same 3 lines in my study guide, pretending that the sheepish act he put up when getting caught by the part timer for staring wasn’t distracting.  

“Dunno yet,” he shrugged, his eyes flicking back to his empty notebook. If it wasn’t for the later study sessions, I’d be in awe of how he wasn’t completely failing. 

“Hopefully soon,” I retorted. My stomach couldn’t stomach these shy boy acts for too long. 

My phone quietly buzzed on the table. Flipping it over, I turned off the alarm. “2:15 Yōichi, you gotta head out,” my voice carried a weariness as I fell from the trance of studying. My hands moved to put my things in my bed.

Yōichi yawned, stretching out in the chair. My eyes flickered over just in time to catch his shirt riding up, exposing the waistband of his boxers and the lower quarter of his abs. I caught myself before I could show my disappointment about the freshly shaved happy trail.

After slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I headed for the door. When I went to push the door open, my ears caught the sound of Yōichi’s voice followed by a high pitched laugh. I didn’t look back on my way to the baseball field.

My mind was full of nothing as my legs pulled me up the baseball field’s bleachers. I picked the first row, one closest to but right not above the dugout. 

My eyes roamed the field before I caught Kazuya’s eyes. He pulled up his catcher’s helmet and flashed me a grin while waving. I waved back before both of our attention was snatched by the sound of shouting; the reason why I chose the spot within earshot of the dugout.

Yōichi was sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as the coach continued to chew him out. Me and Kazuya caught each other’s glances as we tried to hold back smiles and laughter, nearly failing because of the eye contact. 

When the yelling was finally over, I watched as Yōichi put his stuff down and joined the rest for practice. He waved over at me after Kazuya pointed me out, and I gave a small wave back. I felt my stomach flip at the happy mood he was in.

Practice was over and the sun was nearly set. I stared into the purple hues of the mixed sky while waiting outside of the locker room. Kazuya came out first. 

“He’s texting someone so he’ll be a minute,” he pointed back towards the door with his thumb.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes with a smile, “We can just leave him then,” I said while hooking my arm with his, “I’m starved.” 

Kazuya’s face broke into a larger smile, “That easy to give up on him huh?” As if his stride wasn’t taking the lead on the way back to his dorm. 

It was nearly an hour before Yōichi entered the dorm room, catching me and Kazuya arguing over the morality of finding the villain of the show we were currently engulfed in, attractive. 

“Don’t raise your voice with food in your mouth,” I retorted, the smartass attitude dripping from my words.

”Don’t start an argument with food in your mouth,” he mocked me. We glared at each other while chewing quickly, him nearly choking his food down so he could speak first, coughing harshly.

”And that’s what your ass gets,” I laughed at his misfortune. He grabbed my glass of water and chugged it down. “Kazuya Miyuki!” I hit him on the shoulder.

He pulled my now almost empty glass from his lips before shaking it, “Mine was empty,” he huffed out with a shit-eating grin. 

“Asshole,” I snarled.

”Isn’t that your type?” His eyes flickered to the screen, it was paused on the antagonist. He had done so after my comment about the guy being “so fine”. 

We both jumped at the sound of something being dropped onto the couch behind us. Our heads both turned to find Yōichi sitting on the couch, staring at us with one eyebrow raised. 

“He started it,” I muttered while turning back to my food.

”Like hell I did,” he murmured, gently shoving me with his elbow. 

“You guys didn’t even ask what I wanted!” Yoichi whined from behind us. Kazuya and I glanced at each other through the corner of our eyes.

Kazuya spoke up first, “Figured you’d be a while,” he spoke apathetically while shrugging.

”Thought you’d be on a date,” I copied his tone and actions. Kazuya had already unpaused the screen, eyes gesturing between me and the remote as if he was suggesting we turn up the volume. I smiled and barely nodded, not wanting my actions to be detected by Yōichi. 

Yōichi’s order came about 25 minutes later. After he had unbagged his takeout, he wedged himself between Kazuya and I, who were long done with eating. His phone buzzed on the couch almost incessantly. I finally turned after the 14th pinging noise, his phone was turned over, hiding the screen. 

“Are you gonna answer that?” I questioned, annoyed. 

“Answer what?” Yōichi said flatly while watching the TV.

Kazuya and I blinked at each other. “You’re hard of hearing now?” Kazuya sounded just as annoyed. 

Yōichi groaned before grabbing his phone. Click, he unlocked it before he started to quickly type. My eyes wandered over to the screen, definitely not wanting to look but the strength of curiosity pulling me in.

Library Girl was the contact name, so he got her number. The text thread was long, as if they had been talking for days. 

I got practice tomorrow so it would be late if we meet up :), I forced my eyes away from the screen, my stomach threatening that the unpleasant feeling would only grow if I didn’t. 

The thought of him inviting her to watch practice made a flicker of jealousy pang through my chest. ‘I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care,’ if I said it enough it would come true, right?

”Wanna continue the marathon in my room?” Kazuya’s voice brought a well-welcomed break in my thoughts.

He probably just wanted to offer Yōichi some more privacy, but I didn’t care. The increased space between me and whatever he was typing on his phone was an offer I wouldn’t pass. I took Kazuya’s hand before he led me to his room. I glanced outside the door as it closed to find Yōichi’s eyes staring at us.

I don’t remember when I fell asleep, but my alarm rang almost silently, easing me out of my sleep. 

My limbs stretched across Kazuya’s floor before my arms pushed my body up. My hands pressed on my lower back as more stretches forced my body up. I turned to see Kazuya still sleeping, a puddle of drool forming on his pillow. I whispered a soft goodbye before exiting his room.

I was surprised to find Yōichi sleeping on the couch, his arm hanging off and his hand open. My eyes followed down to find his phone on the floor, most likely dead. I shook my head at the sight before making my way out of the room, avoiding all of the floor’s weak spots.

The day felt much lighter with the decrease of classes, each final throughout the week serving as a hellish goodbye. This was my last one.

I let out a loud exhale as I pushed through the doors of the classroom, wanting to cry in relief and frustration. That exam was hard as hell but I was happy to have it finally done with. The urge to break out in a dance because all of my classes were finally over filled my body. 

“So did you two fuck?” The obscene words made my head snap around to find Yōichi, his eyes were low and he had a slight scowl as his figure leaned back on the bench.  

I ran up to him, bewilderment plastered all over my face. “What did you just say Ichi?” I asked, my voice low. Maybe I just heard him insanely wrong. 

”Did you and Kaz, fuck?” My cheeks warmed at the absurd question. I had been in Kazuya’s room plenty of times without the supervision of Yōichi, where was this coming from. He now stood up, looking down at me, his jaw was pulled taut as he ground his teeth back. 

“I don’t have to answer that,” I felt tears brimming my eyes but I just scoffed. The accusation made me feel gross, especially when he was accusing me of something like that in public, not a care in the world if his voice was heard. My legs carried me quickly out of the lecture hall, but not fast enough, Yōichi quickly caught up.

”I invited that girl to practice today,” he said carelessly. I wanted to punch him. 

“Oh nice,” I tried to keep the sarcasm low, but if he caught it, then so what? I was growing tired of these dickventures of his. 

The air was thick as we made our way to the baseball field. My face finally broke when I saw Kazuya, running up to give my savior a hug. His embrace was warm, unlike the air created by the earlier confrontation. 

“Hey,” he spoke over my shoulder before I pulled away a little. I looked back to see Yōichi give him a nod before heading into the locker room. Kazuya looked at me puzzled and I just shook my head.

I picked the same spot as the day before. It was only a couple minutes before I heard the bleachers beside me creak. I snapped my head to the side, my eyes landed on a girl with dark brown hair falling to her chest. She flashed me a  white smile before mouthing something. I put up a finger before taking out my earbuds, “I’m so sorry, can you repeat that?” 

My mind blocked out her name. It would be pointless to learn it. I knew who she was anyway, I knew why she was here, I knew that eventually she’d be gone too. I couldn’t help but feel a bit of sadness for everyone who falls for Yōichi, whether they know what they’re getting into or not, it’s a sad cycle. 

We looked over at the field to see Yōichi pointing towards us while talking to Kazuya. Both of them waved and we returned it. She giggled when Yōichi saluted and did a military-esque turn back to his spot at the plate, “He’s so funny!”

I swallowed down any animosity that built in the pit of my chest and continued conversing.

Yōichi was much faster to get out of the locker room this time, and Kazuya and I trailed behind the pair. We rolled our eyes each time she punched his arm lightly at a joke he made, or shared glances whenever they would “accidentally” brush against each other while walking. 

Yōichi exchanged a well known glance with Kazuya before Kazuya began to spill some nonsense about needing to stop at the mall for some new shoes. Yōichi nodded along with a smile on his face until Kazuya locked arms with me, “Not to mention we had scheduled dinner at this new local restaurant and we absolutely cannot miss that, right?” Kazuya beamed at me, not noticing the slight falter in Yōichi’s expression.

I pretended not to notice as well. I pretended not to notice how his gaze wandered when his date’s eyes closed, I pretended not to notice how a little bit of his boredom with her stories slipped out occasionally, I pretended not to notice the hard looks he would give me and Kazuya if we joked a little too loud behind him. 

I simply nodded my head, “Yeah, it was hard to get,” I squeezed his arm. 

We left without much more words. 

I spent the evening ignoring the day’s earlier events. Every so often I would get a flash of Yōichi’s expression as he accused me of having sex with Kazuya, but it would leave at the same speed when Kazuya would speak up.

We got takeout again, and the slip of “God they knew what they were doing,” ignited another argument about morality. It was while I was doing dishes that Kazuya got a text.

”He says she’s gone now,” I could hear the smirk in his voice, “and there’s the thumbs up.” He got laid. I forced the sick feeling down as I finished rinsing the dish in my hand, promising to finish them in the morning. 

A yawn escaped my lips as I picked up my own phone, “Damn, it’s late. Did he say he was walking her?” I stared at the 2:03 displayed on my phone. When had we left? Around 7? The feeling in my stomach threatened to grow.

”He said he already did and that he was back in the dorm.” Kazuya pushed himself up on his knees before groggily pushing to his feet. “I better head back.” We exchanged goodbyes, and as soon as I locked the door back, I rushed to my room.

When I woke up the next morning, my eyes felt dry and I could practically feel the redness irritating my skin. I rolled over to bury my face in the pillow, ignoring the next wave of tears that threatened to pour out. 

Buzz.

I lazily pulled my phone out from under my pillow. I squinted, blinking away the water to get a clear glance at the notifications. 

You didn’t answer my question earlier. This was sent during my crying episode, when I had my phone on DnD.

Are you ignoring me?

Kazuya is home. He looks happy. Did he get some?

Should I ask him?

Stop ignoring my texts dude. 

I’ll just come over to ask tomorrow. This was the last message he sent before it hit 4 AM.

Are you up? Started a new thread at 9:07 AM. God, did he even sleep?

Are you really not gonna answer me? 

It’s a simple question, I don’t know why you’re trying to hide it from me. We tell each other everything, right?

Kaz is still asleep so I can’t ask him yet. He’ll probably be asleep all day since we don’t have practice. I don’t wanna wake him just for this. So you’ll bug me incessantly about it?

I’m coming over. The last text was the one I just felt a couple of seconds ago. 

My eyes widened as I bolted upright. If it normally takes me two minutes to walk here, Yōichi takes less than a minute. I scrambled around my bed before heading to my bathroom. My eyes were red, it definitely looked like I had been crying. The introduction of cold water so early in the morning caused me to gasp. 

Before I could even dry my face, my phone started ringing. A close up picture of Yōichi’s face filled my screen as my phone vibrated on the sink. There was a knock at the door before my hand could even reach for my phone. I rushed outside of the bathroom and towards the door, sliding to accept the call despite the door opening to reveal the person on the other side of the phone. 

“Good morning,” he said dryly before hanging up the phone. I moved to the side as he entered, kicking off his shoes that landed with a thud. 

“Keep your voice down,” I hissed, “she’s still asleep.” I didn’t want to wake my roommate out of respect for our shared space, and I didn’t want to see the sight between her and Yōichi. “Here, in my room.” I grabbed his hand to lead him. 

Once in, he snatched it away. I sighed before closing the door, preparing for the accusation for a second day. 

It caught me off guard when Yōichi grabbed my wrist, and pulled me closer to him, our foreheads almost touching. The grasp wasn’t tight, but the shock of the action had me rigid. 

“I-Ichi,” my voice was barely a whisper as I looked back into his eyes. I studied his face quickly, noticing he had eyebags  and his lip was slightly curled up.

”Did. You. Have. Sex. With. Kazuya.” 

I felt my chest tighten with dread, “Is it really that big of a deal if I di-“

His grip wavered for a second before he righted himself, “So you did,” his jaw clenched. 

My head shook from side to side quickly, “No, oh my fucking god, I did not fuck Kaz. Never have, never will. Can you fucking stop? What’s your issue dude? Where is this even coming from?” I snatched my hand from his grasp, my stance growing more defiant in frustration. 

Yōichi’s face immediately softened once he took in my words. “You really didn’t?” His voice was much softer too, I felt one of his fingers brush against my hand but I didn’t move. 

“No,” I sternly stated. 

He let out a big sigh before rubbing his forehead. “I just. I don’t know,” he started explaining, “I just saw the way Kazuya was looking at you the other day and then you went to his room… I didn’t know what to think. I sat up almost all night wondering what you two could be doing that couldn’t be done around me. That’s when that popped up. It was stupid, I know.” He took a break in his rambling to look at me. 

I didn’t realize I was crying until his thumb brushed against my cheek, the skin feeling wet. 

“I’m sorry,” he sheepishly uttered. “I was wrong for accusing you of that… even more so for how I reacted.” 

I turned my head away from him, unable to meet his gaze. I wanted to forgive him immediately, I couldn’t stand the sight of him looking at me with begging eyes. The words to ask for a proper explanation for this whole debacle were pushed back by the thought that if I said anything, I wouldn’t hesitate to break down. 

So we stood there in silence. It wasn’t until his phone buzzed did we move. Both of our eyes flashed to his pocket before he pulled it out. I wanted to scream, shout at him to leave. I watched in cold silence as he responded to the message with quick fingers before sighing. 

“Did you feel sick?” I finally spoke up. 

“What?”

“Did you feel like you were gonna throw up when you imagined me and Kaz?” My voice was low, I still refused to meet his gaze.

He was silent for a moment. “Yeah,” he finally admitted.

I felt my heart thump against my ribs. “Did it make you feel like your chest was going to explode when you saw us after, the thought of us sleeping together stuck in your mind?” My eyes slowly moved to meet his. 

More silence. “Yes…” I could tell that he was wondering what the purpose behind my line of questioning was. 

“What did it feel like when you thought Kaz and I had dinner yesterday, probably sleeping together for a second time while you railed some other girl?”

”Fucking horrible,” he blurted out, tears were finally forming in the corners of his eyes.

I felt breathless, “So you finally get it.” 

He looked at me confused, “What?”

”You finally fucking understand what it’s like to sit back and watch someone you care about fuck someone else.” The admittance left me feeling embarrassed, but I didn’t waver. ”I mean, night after goddamn night I had to watch you seduce some girl and bring her into your room. The team manager, the TA, the my fucking best friend, and now the girl from the library. Month after month I just sit back and watch as you built some list. I felt that same sick feeling every single time. Every day I’d feel that burning pit of jealousy grow, knowing your attention would never be on me in the same way. No, not in the same way, I want something different. I wanted you to care for me in the same way I do for you; I wanted so desperately for you to drop everyone else for me.” My chest rose and fell quickly. I couldn’t think of the proper words to convey how I wanted him to want me. 

Yōichi’s eyes were wide at my sudden confession. 

Silence fell again. Painful silence as we stared at each other. I wanted to kiss him, to hit his chest and yell at him to leave, to kiss from his lips to his neck, I wanted to hand his shoes to him and hit the door on his back. 

Yōichi took a step closer. It took everything inside me not to move, to stay neutral. His hand slid under my jaw and up to cup my cheek. I watched as his eyes traveled down before landing on my lips, quickly flickering back up to meet my eyes once again. Was that a signal for a kiss? 

His head moved towards mine, stopping right before our lips touched. My breath hitched in anticipation, an ache began to form in the pit of my stomach. 

“Please,” I softly whined, the embarrassment settling in mere milliseconds after the plea left my lips. My face grew hot. 

Yōichi’s lips quickly pressed against mine, the light kiss only lasting a few moments before he pulled away and flicked his eyes to mine; he was asking for permission to continue. I couldn’t form words, I only nodded my head yes. 

His lips fluttered soft kisses, increasing my yearning each time he lingered for just a few seconds longer in comparison to the previous one. I tangled my hands into his sweatshirt, pulling him towards me in the earnest attempt to get him to keep his lips on me.

He pulled away once again, earning a persistent whine from me. “Is this what you want?” The tone he held made me want to pounce on him. ”With your words,” his hand was on my chin as he was looking in my eyes. 

I shook under his touch, his control was intoxicating, “Yes Ichi, yes please.”

He let out a satisfied hum.

My eyelids fluttered shut as his lips connected with mine once more. The delicate kisses slowly grew more intense, his tongue gently pressing between my lips. I shuddered at the sensation of his tongue sliding over mine, toying with it as he rolled his tongue around my mouth. The haze in my brain continued to grow with each movement he made, the need between my legs growing at the same pace.

I formed strained fists around the fabric as one of his hands slid across the back of my neck, making its way into my hair. He pulled ever so slightly. My chest rose and fell quickly while my body began to tremble at the contact. I’ve craved this moment for so long, jealousy long replaced by yearning. 

His lips pressed against my neck, they were light and soft. My jaw clenched tightly as I fought off any embarrassing noises. ‘How sensitive would I seem to break for a few neck kisses?’ The thought kept me from coming completely undone under his touch. 

In an effort to distract myself, I focused on his other hand, tracing the line of my spine before landing on the small of my back. His fingers played with the waistband of my night shorts, pulling them slightly away from my skin before letting go, retreating back over the fabric. 

His lips came back to mine, the kiss was now becoming sloppier, tongues pushing against each other as I tried to keep his from leaving my mouth. I could feel the spit beginning to dribble down my chin. 

His fingers were now prodding into my waistband, going back and forth under the elastic, not passing the point of my underwear. The contact between my bear back and his light fingers threatened to pull every string holding me standing. 

My own fingers began to travel in desperation for him. I hooked both index fingers in the waist of his sweatpants. They paused for a second, I was nervous; not nearly as experienced as Yōichi. The mentioned male’s fingers now reaching over my ass and rubbing my clothed cunt was enough to get over that thought.

The corners of Yōichi’s mouth curved and I knew I had lost, I couldn’t stop the sounds that broke from lips, especially not when they were forced open by his tongue. Fingertips barely brushing over my clit was nearly enough to make my knees buckle, but I tensed, trying to stay as still as possible. He was a tease, he knew how to get someone hooked and needy for more. 

I was palming him over his sweats now, my hand moving slowly over his hardening cock. Every increased inch left me in awe, my imagination running with images of what it could possibly look like. For almost all of the tropes we filled, I had never walked in on him naked. I had only heard second hand accounts from my friend of what it was like, how big it was, and what it looked like. Another hitch.

My brain switched from the satisfaction I got from feeling him push into my hand, his own moans starting to mix with mine, and the satisfaction of his fingers now pressing more energetically on my clit. My legs were faltering now, my body leaning more and more onto Yoichi as my panties grew increasingly slick. 

I cursed him for his rigid stature, how he mildly kept his composure under my touch unlike me, who was coming undone with every aching move of his fingers. I wanted to beg him to push his fingers inside me, to satisfy the longing. 

When Yōichi finally pulled out of the kiss, I was huffing, my body slumped over onto his. I probably looked so pathetic; spit running down my chin onto my neck, my hands needily pulling at his sweats. My face felt flushed as he chuckled down at me. 

“I’ve waited so fucking long for this,” the admittance caused my eyes to widen. His hand the back of my neck and moved to grab my chin, his thumb gently ran over my wet lips. “From the day I laid eyes on you, I just wanted to press you against the nearest wall and make you mine,” his voice was low and his breathing heavy, “I tried every night to get you out of my head, had so many girls beating at my chest because your name slipped. I was so frustrated every time it wasn’t you.” My chest thumped so hard I was scared he could hear it. 

His fingers were tracing over my lips now, rubbing my slick against my pussy. I whimpered as his thumb pushed into my mouth, barely making contact with my tongue. His hand fidgeted in my clothes, pulling at the crotch of my panties. 

I noticed, however slight it was, his desperate pants, the way his hand still pushed into my stilled hand, the light tint on his cheeks. The corners of my mouth twitched upwards as I sucked on his thumb, earning a low groan from the man. 

“I can’t take it anymore, I really can’t,” he was almost whining. He pushed down my pants and panties in one go, I lazily kicked them across the floor. My thighs felt sticky. 

I ached as both of his hands pulled away from me before he kicked off his own pants, a groan leaving his mouth as his cock sprung free from his boxers. He laughed at my soft gasp before rubbing the hand he had used to touch my pussy with earlier across the tip. 

The trance caused by the slow swirling of his fingers was broken when he wrapped the other hand around me before making his way backwards to my bed. We turned, and he gently nudged me onto the bed. I laid on my back, suddenly feeling extremely shy. My thighs pressed together tightly. 

He pushed my glued legs up with one hand, I drew in a shocked breath as he began rubbing my now exposed pussy. “I-Ichi?” 

He hummed, “Hm? Feeling shy now?” He chuckled before leaning forward. The sensation of his warm tongue gliding from my slit to my clit, pushing apart my lips, caused my back to arch. 

I began to pant as he repeatedly lapped at me, mind going numb at the unrelenting swirling and prodding of his tongue. “Ichi, Ichi I’m gonna,” it couldn’t have been that long since he started, but I already felt my body growing warmer with each movement of his tongue. One of his free fingers started to poke at my entrance. I whimpered as he slid it in, his moan vibrating against my clit. I felt dizzy with his finger delving in and out of me.    

“Cum for me then, give it all to me please,” oh my god I couldn’t think. Without warning, my body tensed as I bucked my hips, reaching my orgasm. He moaned into my lips, my body twitching with every flick from the tip of his tongue. “Good girl, mmph, so good.” 

Yōichi finally sat my legs back down, they were practically jelly under his touch as he spread my thighs apart. The tip of his dick pressed against my entrance before he slid it up, running the length of his cock between my lips. I offered a low moan, still breathless. He ran it up and down a handful of times, I could feel it twitch when he would prod it against my hole. 

I felt his warm breath against my neck. “I’m gonna put it in now, I need to,” he exhaled. The tip began to slide in; my hands gripped onto his shirt so hard that if my mind weren’t drunk on the thought of his dick, I probably would’ve been concerned about it ripping.

I clamped tightly around every inch that pushed in before he finally bottomed out. He hissed softly, and I couldn’t tell which one of our chests were closing the gap. 

He stood still for a few seconds, hips jerking every so often as if he was having a hard time not moving. “I-I can’t,” he murmured into my ear before slowly pulling out. He only moved back enough for the tip to be the only part left in. His dawdling movements didn’t last long before his hips accelerated. 

The creaking of my bed and the sound of my headboard tapping against the wall mixed in with our moans. Yōichi leaned down for another kiss, his tongue much more aggressive in comparison to his earlier flirtatious pecks. His lips pressed against mine with need, my body trembled underneath his. His hips snapped against mine while he pushed my knees up. The small amount of my mind that was still sound allowed for me to be embarrassed as to how easily accessible I was for him in this position.

 “So good, so… so good,” he groaned into the kiss. I clenched down, the warmth slowly turning into nearly unbearable heat as my pelvis tensed. I couldn’t choke out the words to warn him about my incoming release. 

My back pushed my chest against his hard, my body aching as it twitched helplessly under his grasp. I choked out a cry as my mind went blank, the flame in my stomach finally encapsulating my body.

I went limp under him, his pounding becoming more erratic as his hips rushed faster. It was all I could do to moan into his neck with every overstimulating thrust. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he repeatedly muttered before one final thrust, burying himself to the hilt into me. 

He eased down on top of me, not completely putting his full weight. We stayed like that for what felt like hours until he caught his breath and rolled over beside me. 

He pulled me closer to him, tracing a finger over my hip before planting a kiss against my sweaty temple. I could feel the smile against my skin, but I was too lazy to look up. 

“So…” he began, “about a date…” 

My face became flushed again, “D-don’t talk about something sweet like that while..”

”While my cum is leaking out of you?” he shamelessly continued. I scoffed, “Alright alright, we’ll talk about it in the bath.” I hit his chest and he just laughed.

My eyes snapped wide open as I heard the slam of my roommate’s bedroom door. 

[semperama]

Omg, I wrote Pinto! For @zjofierose's birthday <333 and for my own agonies. Thanks for an excuse to go back in time and to distract myself, bb. Hope you had a great day!

----

I'll be in town in a couple weeks, Zach had texts him. Let me take you out for an early birthday.

He didn't mention he was coming for a Spock thing and other various business obligations, but Chris is long past caring about things like that. They've been on opposite coasts for over a decade now, so he's used to them being ships passing in the night, stealing moments together where they can. They'd been apart for Zach's birthday, but Chris sent a card. Last year, he doesn't even remember. Before that, there was a whole-ass pandemic. Yeah, Chris is happy to take what he can get.

It feels like old times when the doorbell rings and Chris opens the door to see Zach standing there, one ankle crossed over the other, hands shoved deep in his pockets, sporting yet another bad haircut. Chris smiles so wide his face hurts as he goes in for a hug. "Hey, man," he says in Zach's ear. Such an inadequate greeting, but he squeezes tighter to make up for it. "It's good to see you."

"You too, Pine," Zach says as he pulls away, their jaws scratching against each other. "Where do you want to go?"

Chris had grand plans. New restaurants he hasn't been able to take Zach to yet. A great bar he knows Zach would love. But suddenly...

"Actually, how do you feel about staying in?" Chris says on impulse. Suddenly, the thought of sitting in a crowded Hollywood bistro, having to crane forward to hear Zach over the noise, doesn't sound so appealing. "I know a place that delivers."

Zach raises an eyebrow, but, to Chris's surprise and relief, he doesn't argue. As he steps across the threshold, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and waves it at Chris. "Fine, but I'm buying. I said I would."

They end up out back by the pool, cross-legged on the deck chairs plastic containers full of pasta on their laps. Zach kicked his shoes off, and Chris can't stop looking at his bare feet, the hair on his wrists, the way his mouth moves when he talks--little details he didn't realize he knew so well and missed so much. Being with Zach is like wrapping himself up in an old blanket, comforting and cozy and familiar. He can feel something inside himself settling. He has to keep swallowing against the unnamed emotions that threaten to block his throat.

"I know you said you didn't need dessert," Zach says when they're done picking at their food, "but it's not a birthday without something sweet."

He unfolds himself from the chair, and walks inside, then emerges a moment later with another take-out container, this one filled with tiramisu. Chris laughs, delighted. "You know the way to my heart, I see."

"Always," Zach says, his smile going soft. He sets the container down on the little table between their chairs, and then digs into his pocket and comes out with--incredibly--two birthday candles and a lighter.

"Asshole," Chris says, and Zach chuckles as he carefully places the candles, then lights them one by one.

"I'm not going to sing, for both of our sakes," Zach says, "but you have to make a wish."

Instead of sitting down on his own chair, Zach sits down next to Chris and reaches across him to pick up the tiramisu, hold it steady for him. Chris closes his eyes, still grinning, and silently makes his wish: More nights like this. More time with Zach. Zach's hand settles on his back, and Chris lets the moment linger for a while, commits it all to memory, then purses his lips and blows.

Zach doesn't move, even when the candles are discarded. They lean shoulder to shoulder and pass one spoon back and forth, taking one sweet bite at a time until they get down to the end.

"Last bite is for the birthday boy," Zach says, scooping it onto the spoon and holding it out.

Chris can feel his face burn. "It's not my birthday yet," he says, but he leans in anyway and closes his lips around the spoon, lets himself savor it. When he looks up, Zach is watching him, his eyes dark, and it seems simple enough to push Zach's hand away, palm the back of his neck, and kiss him.

This is far from the first time he's kissed Zach, but it's been a while, and the last time didn't taste quite so sweet. Last time was a goodbye, Chris thinks. More bitter than sweet. And maybe in an hour or a day or a few days, this kiss will turn into a goodbye too, but for now, he wants to pretend wishes come true.

"Stay here tonight," he says. The empty plastic container goes clattering to the deck as they turn into each other, Chris tugging Zach's belt loop.

"Yeah," Zach breathes, "yes," and licks into Chris's mouth. He tastes like coffee and whipped cream and home.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Only the Strong Survive Ch. 7

Series Summary: Lexie Weston is in a terrible, abusive marriage. In her mind and soul, she feels like she has no way out that won't result in her death. But something changes in her life to make her take the risk. Can she rely on Sheriff Beau Arlen to protect her like he said he would, or will this risk lead to ruin?

Pairings: Beau Arlen x OFC (eventual)

Series Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut, Angst, Fluff throughout. A pretty slow burn, TW: Abusive marriage, Domestic abuse will be talked about throughout. Chapter warnings will be more specific

Word Count: 3,329

Chapter Summary: Y/N wants to explore the connection she feels to Beau, but will that sever it?

Chapter Warnings: None. Kissing.

A/N: K, so the next chapter definitely came out faster than the last. Lol! The momentum feels good on the series, I think I might ACTUALLY finish it sooner than the end of February if I don't stall out. Wish me luck! And as always if you enjoy the series/chapter, please comment and/or reblog. It makes a HUGE difference in keeping that momentum going.

Hope you enjoy Ch. 7!

The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @saradika

The night was cold now, and Lexi pulled her heavy coat tighter around her. She could hear people laughing and talking, saying their farewells as they packed up and put out the bonfire. She knew she needed to go too, the school bus would be headed back to Haven House very soon. But she just wanted to breathe it all in a bit longer.

“So.” Beau said as he walked up beside her. “What do you think? Did we manage to throw you a decent graduation party?”

She looked at him and was struck anew at how incredibly beautiful he was. She smiled shyly and sighed deeply, looking back out at the mountains surrounding them, purple in the darkness. She gazed up at the full moon and shook her head.

“I think…I think this might be the, the best time I’ve ever had.”

She looked up at Beau and saw his slight befuddlement. She shrugged and looked away. “I was just thinking about…” She trailed off, and wondered whether Beau actually wanted to hear any of this. But when she snuck another glance at him, his eyes were curious and encouraging. That look, of interest and consideration, was one of the things that made his eyes so incredibly beautiful. 

So she carried on.

“The reason I dropped out of high school was, well…my dad - he drank a lot. He was…I think he was a good man, had a good heart, but he was just…I don’t know, lost I guess. My mom, she died when I was really little. I don’t remember her at all, but…” She smiled sadly. “He did, and I think it just kind of ate at him you know. I mean, I know he…he loved me and I loved him too. But, he couldn’t take care of me, couldn’t take care of himself. So, someone had to…” She gave a brief resigned laugh.  “Someone had to buy the milk, pay the electric bill, you know. So, I dropped out, started working.”

The wind kicked up a bit and blew a curl over her forehead and she tucked it back behind her ear before continuing. “But, I mean, I really liked school. So leaving…” She stopped to glance at Beau again and his smile was soft and understanding. “Well, it sucked.”

Beau nodded. “I bet.” He said quietly.

Lexi shrugged. “And I…I know my GED, it’s not the same as graduating, but…” She started to duck her head, but instead she caught herself and raised her chin. “I guess, I feel…I don’t know, I guess - I’m proud of myself.”

She wanted to immediately take back the words, but she told herself that she wouldn’t. She meant what she said.

Beau’s smile was blinding. “Oh, sweetheart, you should be proud of yourself. What you’ve accomplished…” He shook his head. “Not only with getting your diploma, but just everything. You deserve to feel incredibly proud.”

His praise was a lot for Lexi to take. She loved it, and felt it spread warm and happy through her heart, but she had to look away from him, looking back up at the moon instead.

“Anyway,” she shrugged again. “I was just standing here thinking, ‘When was the last time I felt like this?’ and I realized…I don’t ever remember feeling like this. Which is probably pathetic. But…I think…my whole life I’ve been just…surviving, you know. And now…I feel like I’m living, I feel like tonight was the start of that.”

She crossed her arms, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed with her wordy confession. “Does that make sense?”

Beau nodded. “It makes perfect sense, yes. And I’m so glad for you.”

From over by the bus, Sarah called for Lexi. Lexi waved back and gave a thumbs up to show she heard. 

“Well, anyway I guess I should…” She thumbed towards the group waiting on her. 

“Right.” Beau took a step back, but Lexi stopped him.

“Wait, I was wondering…would you do me a big favor?”

“Sure.” Beau answered immediately.

“It’s not really, like, a professional thing, or…well, it’s a personal favor.” Lexi cautioned him. “So, please feel free to say no. I’ll completely understand.”

Beau gave a chuckle and shook his head. “What do you need?”

Lexi bit her lip and watched Beau’s eyes dart to her mouth. Something in his gaze made her core muscle clench and she had to look at the ground and take in a deep breath before she could continue.

“I have a um, appointment tomorrow…it’s my sonogram appointment.” She glanced at him with an excited expression. “I finally get to see the baby. But…I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna go alone.”

She dipped her head in the direction of the bus. “And Cicely has an appointment with her case worker, so…would you consider going with me?”

Beau hesitated a moment, and Lexi panicked and reassured him. “Seriously, it’s a lot to ask, so if you can’t do it -”

But Beau interrupted her. “Of course, happy to. What time?”

Lexi let out a breath. “It’s at one.”

“Okay, I’ll pick you up.”

Sarah honked the bus horn and Lexi waved and turned towards the bus before turning back quickly and impulsively throwing her arms around Beau’s neck to give him a hug. He hugged her back, and it occurred to her how perfect it felt to be held by him. She didn’t want to let go.

But she knew everyone was waiting, so she smiled at him shyly one more time before walking quickly towards the bus, wondering how long the warm and inviting scent of his cologne would linger on her coat.

***

“Alexandria Weston?”

Lexi looked up at the young woman in mint green scrubs and nodded. She hoped the name change papers went through soon. 

Beau stood up with her and placed his hand on her lower back, guiding her towards the swinging door where the nurse waited patiently. The feeling of his touch, warm and reassuring, made some of the nervousness in her belly fade away, while causing a new kind of fluttering throughout her body.

Oh boy.

They entered a small room, slightly crowded with a table and equipment. The nurse took some basic information from Lexi before helping her up onto the table.

“The technician will be in shortly.” She smiled and left them alone in the cramped room. 

Beau looked around and smiled. “This brings back memories.” He caught Lexi’s eye and winked. “Really good ones. I’ll never forget the way it felt to see Em for the first time.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m happy to be here with you for this.”

Lexi felt her eyes get inexplicably moist and she beamed at him. “I’m so grateful.”

Before Beau could respond, the technician entered with a bright smile. “Good afternoon. My name is Helena. How’s everyone feeling today?” She said as she shut the door behind her. 

“Good.” Lexi and Beau said in unison.

Helena pulled the machine forward and pulled her stool up close to the table. Beau shifted around to Lexi’s other side, so he wasn’t in the way. But he picked up her hand again and Lexi squeezed it tightly, nervous despite her excitement.

“Alright folks!” The bubbly tech said, “Ready to meet your baby?”

“Oh, uh…” Lexi started to correct her, worried it would embarrass Beau to be mistaken for the father, but he squeezed her hand again, and gave a little shake of his head and a wink, letting her know it didn’t matter to him.

“Yeah,” he answered Helena, “we’re ready.”

Lexi felt her heart squeeze, imagining for just a minute how much simpler and happier her life would be if it was the truth. But before she could get too lost in wishful thinking, Helena pushed up her t-shirt to squirt out some cold jelly onto her stomach.

“Ooh!” Lexi exclaimed. “That’s cold.”

Helena smiled. “Yeah, I know. Sorry.” She pushed the wand around through the jelly, watching the screen.

Lexi shook her head and was going to tell her it was fine, but suddenly there was a sound like a freight train and Lexi gasped. 

“Is that…”

“Your baby’s heartbeat.” Helena smiled as she moved the wand a little lower and the sound intensified.

“Oh my god.” Lexi’s voice was barely a breath. She stared raptly at the screen trying to make out the image. Clearly having done this many times, Helena began to explain.

“Here is your baby’s head.” She smoothed her finger over a tiny round silhouette on the screen, before continuing on. “And here is their spine, and down over the bum. And here you can see their limbs and we can even make out their fingers and toes.” She smiled at Lexi. “They’re waving at us.”

Tears were falling unchecked down Lexi’s face. A feeling like nothing she’d ever known swept over her and she felt pure joy and astounding fear in exactly equal measure. 

“Oh,” Helena said with a smile. “Of course, we caution that we can never be one hundred percent certain, but do you want to know the sex?”

Lexi’s stomach dipped. “Yes.” She said immediately, anticipation rampant in her mind.

“Well, folks, it looks like you are going to have a bouncing baby boy.”

Lexi couldn’t process her own feelings and her mind raced from one thought to the next, there was a bit of panic setting in as everything felt suddenly very real in a way it simply hadn’t until that moment. All of a sudden the abstract future looked very distinct. Her son had a face in her mind, he was a mischievous toddler running away from her at the park, he was a chubby baby with a toothy smile and tiny fingers, he was a teenage boy slouching in his chair, he was a little boy with a splinter who was crying for her, he was a man hugging her goodbye as he left for college.

In the span of thirty seconds her son’s entire life spun through her mind and the panic grew. How could she possibly do this? She wasn’t capable of this, she was going to screw him up somehow, she was going to -

Suddenly both of Beau’s big hands closed over the one he held and he held it tighter. He spoke to Helena.

“How's the little guy doin’? Everything look good?”

Helena nodded. “Yes, he looks fabulous. Everything is developing normally, he's a good, healthy size, he's great.”

Beau raised Lexi's knuckles to his lips and pressed a kiss there. “That's because of you.” He said softly. “Because you've kept him safe and taken such good care of him. You should be proud of that too.”

Lexi looked up into Beau's face and a wave of tenderness and gratitude washed over her as his green eyes sparkled down at her. How had he known just what to say? How did he know what she was thinking, how she’d been panicking at the magnitude of feeling sweeping through her? He was…incredible.

“Thank you.” She said simply, but what she meant was, “Thank you for saving me yet again.”

***

“I don’t wanna go back to the station yet.” Beau said as he was pulling out of the clinic parking lot. “What do you say we stop for ice cream? There’s an amazing place, Suzie’s Sundaes, they’ve got a million flavors.”

Lexi smiled mischievously. “You should know better than to tempt a pregnant woman with ice cream.”

Beau chuckled. “Suzie’s it is.”

After getting their ice cream, a scoop of Coffee Praline for Beau and one of Cookie Dough for Lexi, Beau nodded his head towards the park across the street.

“Wanna walk?”

Lexi nodded. “I’d love to.” 

As they crossed the street, Beau put his free hand on her lower back again, safeguarding her as they crossed, and there was something in the gesture that made Lexi want to bat her eyes and giggle like a schoolgirl. There was just something about Beau that tended to make her head spin. 

It had been like this, almost from the beginning she admitted now, but until Cicely had brought it up, she’d been doing a great job at pretending the feelings didn't exist. But now those thoughts and emotions just wouldn’t go away. She’d never felt this way about anyone. Not ever. 

Given her history, she was surprised by how little the feelings scared her. She was nervous, only because she wasn’t sure that Cicely was right about Beau’s feelings towards her, and she was aware of the awful timing of it all. But fear didn’t enter in.

She had no fear where Beau was concerned. Her therapist at Haven House had spoken with her about what to lookout for in future relationships - red flags, she’d called them. But with Beau, there were no red flags; it was all green.

They wandered through the park for a while, both enjoying their ice cream and the scent of spring in the air. Eventually, Beau took her hand and pulled her off the beaten path. 

“There’s a nice little bridge with some benches and trees over this way.”

Warmth spread up her arm from where he clasped her fingers, and when she sat down beside him on the bench, she was sorry that he let go.

“So, how are you doing?” He asked and Lexi shrugged.

“I’m good. I mean…I must admit that I’m a little nervous. I don’t…I don’t know how I’m gonna raise a son. How can I…teach him to shave? Or to pee standing up? And what happens when he hits puberty?” 

Beau chuckled. “Well, puberty’s more than a decade off, so you’ve got some time to study. And the peeing thing just sort of comes naturally.” 

He grinned at her and Lexi laughed. “Well, good.” She was quiet for a minute, scooping up a spoonful of ice cream. She swallowed and cleared her throat before voicing her biggest and only real fear.

“How do I raise him to…not be him? What if I can’t do it?” Her voice was soft. Was she allowed to admit that fear - that she was terrified of raising another Simon? She glanced at Beau, wondering if she’d see judgment there. But she should have known better. 

He just nodded, his gaze sympathetic and understanding. “Babies aren’t born…evil, Lex. They’re just born needing us. You just have to love him, unconditionally, and unendingly.”

Lexi nodded. “I’m just so afraid of doing it wrong.”

Beau smiled at her and moved a bit closer on the bench. “Wanna hear my great secrets of parenthood?”

Lexi sighed. “God, yes.”

With a chuckle, he continued. “Well, I think kids need two things to thrive and be happy.  Boundaries and respect.” He shrugged a broad shoulder. “Kids crave boundaries. They need to know what’s allowed and what’s not. It makes them feel safe. And they also deserve our respect. We should respect their boundaries too, and respect their intelligence by not talking down to them, or ignoring their thoughts and opinions. Even when they're really little, they wanna be heard and they want to know they matter.”

He shrugged again. “Can’t go wrong if you stick with those two pillars.” He smiled softly. “And fill it all in with lots and lots of love.”

Lexi had tears in her eyes and she blinked them away, staring at him, a little bit in awe. She shook her head. “Is that how your parents raised you? Is that how you turned out like this?”

Beau laughed warmly. “Well, they don’t deserve all the blame for how I turned out, but yeah, basically. A big part of who I am now is the foundation I was given. But, you know, they were also parents in the 80s and 90s, so…they weren’t perfect. Gentle parenting was definitely not a thing.”

Lexi laughed with him and then put her hand on his where it rested in his lap. “Well, whatever they did, it worked wonders.” She bit her bottom lip. “I’ve never known a better man than you.”

Beau breathed in deeply through his nose, his chest expanding as Lexi moved closer. His hand twitched beneath hers and she entwined her fingers with his. She looked down at their joined hands and then up at Beau. His eyes caught on her lips again for a moment, and then he turned his head away.

“Lexi,” he started and then seemed to stall.

He caught her gaze again as she shifted even closer, and his eyes were warm with want. 

She lifted her hand to trail her fingers down his jaw, the silky feel of his beard making her sigh. 

“Kiss me?” She asked softly as she looked at his mouth and craved the feel of it on her own.

“Lexi.” He said again, but this time it was full of caution.

She shook her head, her expression questioning. “Do you not want to?”

A rough laugh burst out of him and he put his hand on top of hers where it rested on his cheek. “That’s really not the problem.”

Lexi shrugged. “Then there really is no problem.”

She smiled at him and saw the moment he caved. His face lost its worry and left behind only passion as his mouth descended on hers. Beau’s lips were silky and plump as he brushed them gently against hers. The first touch made her gasp; the second made her moan softly and dart her tongue out to taste his full bottom lip. 

The action made Beau grunt, taking his hand off of hers and pushing it into her hair. He opened his mouth and caught her next moan on his tongue as he slipped it inside. He tangled it up with hers, tasting and teasing her as he sipped at her lips. He moved both hands to her cheeks and tilted her head so he could delve deeper.

She’d never been kissed like this, never felt like this. She was completely consumed in mere moments, completely lost in the way his mouth moved on hers, the way his rough palms felt against her skin. She wanted so much more; the kiss wasn’t slaking her thirst for him, it was increasing it, making her desperate for more.

Finally though, Beau wrenched his mouth from hers with a sucking noise that sounded obscene and made Lexi shiver. His warm breath fanned her cheek as touched his forehead to hers. 

“Oh sweetheart.” He said on an exhale. “We can’t do this.” He corrected himself. “I mean, I can’t do this. It’s wrong.”

Lexi was still breathless. “Is it?” She asked. “Why?”

Beau pulled further back, dropping his hands from her, and shook his head. “You know why. I’d be taking advantage of you.”

“Would you? I thought I was the one who asked for the kiss.”

Beau gave her a look. “Lexi.” He said again, the caution back in his tone, “You’re vulnerable right now, and it’s an asshole move to take advantage of that.”

“Really? Cause I think I’m stronger than I’ve ever been in my life right now.”

“That’s not what I mean…it’s just…” He shook his head again and stood up, putting even more distance between them. “I never should have let this happen. I’m sorry.”

Lexi began to feel embarrassment slipping in and she stood up too, waving her hand dismissively. 

“Hey look, it’s no big deal. We don’t have to make it into more than it was okay?” She patted his forearm. “Let’s just say it was a nice afternoon and leave it at that.” She gave him another smile and she hoped it looked more believable than it felt. 

“Lex I- “ Beau began, but she shook her head and started walking away.

“No, we’re good.”

Despite the distance she’d put between them, she still heard him curse quietly as he followed. She hoped the curse wasn’t directed towards her, and hoped the kiss hadn’t just ruined something beautiful between them.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu @jackles010378 @mayafatimakhan

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26 @slut-for-evans-stan

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous @k-slla @stoneyggirl2

[mimisempai]

Missing you comes in waves and tonight i'm drowning

Summary

Crowley may tell himself they've been apart a lot longer than that, but when Aziraphale leaves for the day with Muriel, barely a few hours have passed and he's already missing him. So when his eyes fall on Aziraphale's indoor vest, he can't resist putting it on. Can a piece of clothing make up for what's missing?

Notes

Thanks to a lovely person, one of my favorite trope : Sharing Clothes

On Ao3

Rating G -  1739 words

"Aziraphale!"

Crowley had just woken up and was coming down the stairs. He frowned when he heard no reply, then remembered that the angel had said he would be spending the day with Muriel and the Bentley, visiting various booksellers in the area who had contacted him.

Feeling a little lonely in the unusually quiet bookshop, Crowley figured he wouldn't be able to decide anything until he had his coffee fix and headed for Nina's.

He left the shop, crossed the street, and when he opened the door of the Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death, he was relieved to find that no one was in front of the counter.

"Oh, if it isn't Mr. Grumpy himself."

"Morning, Nina. That joke's getting old, you know. Especially since I pride myself on being grumpy."

Nina, a small smile on her lips, asked, "A Handsome Demon as usual?"

Crowley raised an eyebrow and asked, "Excuse me?"

"That's the name of your 6 shots of espresso now," Nina said casually.

Crowley asked, "And whose idea was that?"

Nina replied, setting the cup down in front of him, "Your sweetheart. I asked him what to name it, and this is the result. Here, your Handsome Demon."

Crowley blushed slightly, grabbed his coffee, and turned on his heels, leaving the coffee shop to the sound of NIna's light, mocking laugh.

He muttered, "Angel..."

On his way out, he saw Maggie waving and beckoning him into the record store.

Even though all he wanted to do now was sip his coffee quietly in the shelter of the bookshop, he went to the record store anyway. As he walked through the door, she exclaimed, "I see you have bought a Handsome Demon!"

Crowley started to turn around, but Maggie stopped him and said quietly, "Just kidding."

Crowley grumbled and asked, "Why did you call me here if it wasn't to make fun of me?"

"It's about Aziraphale."

Maggie immediately had the demon's full attention.

She continued, "I wanted to thank him for our little arrangement, and I was wondering if you had any ideas."

Crowley asked matter-of-factly, "Do you know how to bake?"

Maggie nodded eagerly as Crowley added, "Make him some French-style crepes and he'll be absolutely delighted."

"Oh, thank you, Crowley!"

She made a gesture as if to take the demon in her arms, but he stopped her, shaking his head, "I'd rather not, there might be gossip, and the way things are going around here, you better be careful."

Then he pointed to his coffee cup and said as he headed for the door, "On that note, I'm off to drink my Handsome Demon in peace, at home."

"Have a nice day... Handsome Demon!"

Crowley stopped himself from responding and muttered as he hurried back into the bookstore, sighing with relief as he walked through the door.

He grabbed his newspaper and coffee and dropped onto the sofa.

Finally, peace and quiet.

Aziraphale will pay for this!

Handsome Demon...

He tried to ignore the small pang of pride at being called handsome by Aziraphale, but he couldn't, and with a smile he began to read his newspaper.

"Angel, this is incredible, listen to this! A duck chased a-"

He stopped when he realized that the angel wasn't there, and when he looked around, his eyes fell on Azirphale's vest resting on the back of the red armchair. Immediately, he thought of the cozy evenings he'd spent resting against the angel and the softness of the vest against his cheek.

Calling himself a sentimental fool, he went back to reading his newspaper, but periodically, as he turned a page or took a sip of coffee, his eyes fell on the vest.

"It's only a few hours, you've been apart a lot longer than that."

The problem was that since he'd been living here permanently, everything reminded him of Aziraphale, wherever he looked. Inevitably, he missed him.

His eyes slid back to the vest.

Unable to resist, he stood up and grabbed the vest like a thief, before hurrying back to sit on the sofa as if he'd done something reprehensible.

He lifted it and buried his face in it, breathing deeply as the Angel's familiar scent filled his nostrils.

His comforting fragrance of bergamot, lemon, and a light touch of rose joined the scent of old books and tea.

He couldn't resist inhaling again.

Then, after looking right and left, even though he knew no one was home, he put on the vest. It was a little loose, but Crowley wrapped it around him and immediately, it almost felt like the Angel was there.

Once again, he called himself a sentimental fool, but he didn't take the vest off, instead he curled up in it a bit more before lying down on the sofa.

After all, he could indulge himself, since Aziraphale wasn't due home for another few hours.

So, wrapped up in the angel's warm, soft vest and soaked in his scent, he drifted off to sleep, dreaming that the angel was holding him in his arms.

********

It was dusk when Aziraphale walked through the door of the bookshop. Surprised to see no lights on, he called softly, "Crowley.

Receiving no response, he moved slowly forward, intending to put down his things and hang up his coat, when his gaze was caught by a figure moving slightly on the sofa.

As he approached, he couldn't help but gasp at the scene unfolding before his eyes.

Crowley was asleep on the sofa, not for the first time, but what was new was that he was wrapped in Aziraphale's indoor vest.

Aziraphale, deeply moved, gazed at him for several moments before tiptoeing to the back of the shop where he set down his belongings and quietly took off his coat before making himself a cup of tea.

He did it in a daze, so overwhelmed was he by the emotion of what he'd just seen. 

Crowley snuggled into his vest.

As the kettle whistled, he heard Crowley call out to him.

"Angel?"

He replied in a loud voice, "I'm making myself a cup of tea!"

Barely seconds later, Crowley entered the room and hugged him from behind before resting his chin on the angel's shoulder and asking, "Have you been home long?"

Aziraphale shook his head and replied, "Just enough time to put my things away and make my tea. And you, my dear, have you had a good day's rest?"

Aziraphale couldn't help but blush as he thought back to the scene he had just witnessed when Crowley said softly in his ear, "Yes, I'm fine. But I missed you. You've been gone a long time." 

The demon spun him around in his arms before burying his face in his neck. Aziraphale, delighted by Crowley's clinginess and vulnerability, wondered if it was possible to die of an emotional overdose. He wrapped his arms around Crowley and they stayed like that for a few moments.

"How was your day?" asked Crowley, stepping back a bit.

Aziraphale appreciated that more than anything. Crowley's genuine interest in everything he did. The demon didn't ask the question out of politeness, but listened to everything Aziraphale said, made his comments, gave his advice, sometimes mocking a little, but always respectful.

Nothing to do with cold reports to heaven, only to find indifference at the end.

They chatted until tea was ready, then returned to the sofa and sat down. It was then that Aziraphale saw that the vest was in its place on the back of the armchair, as if it had not moved all day. 

But he knew that was not the case.

He couldn't stop the questions running through his mind. 

Was this the first time? 

Why had Crowley done this?

As Crowley recounted his day, Aziraphale's eyes were constantly drawn to the vest, until Crowley caught the direction of his gaze and said softly, cheeks slightly flushed, "I take it you saw me?"

Aziraphale stammered a little, "...yes, I didn't know you were there when I came in, and as I walked by I saw you were wearing it. I couldn't help but look over. Hm... I... how can I put this... uh... do you do that a lot?"

Crowley shook his head, "It was the first time."

Aziraphale scratched the back of his head and asked curiously, "And while I don't mind, may I ask why?"

Crowley said nothing, but stood up and grabbed the vest before letting Aziraphale put it on, then sat down next to him, embracing him and resting his head on his chest.

"Now put your arms around me, will you?"

Aziraphale, confused, obeyed anyway and wrapped his arms around Crowley.

Crowley's voice came to him, muffled.

"That's why I did it, you weren't there and I missed you, I know we've been apart longer than that, but that's the way it is. So when I saw your vest, I thought of you and there you go..."

"Oh Crowley...my dear, you are so ado-"

Crowley grunted and interrupted, "Stop, not a word. I know it's ridiculous, and I'm embarrassed enough as it is. And I'm not ado... adorable, I'm a demon and handsome, by the looks of it."

Aziraphale chuckled softly and replied, "I won't apologize for that, and if I'm not allowed to say a word, then let me kiss you to express everything I'm feeling right now."

He didn't wait for Crowley's answer and, grabbing his chin, lifted his head to give him a soft, tender kiss. A kiss filled with devotion. Aziraphale was overcome with emotion at the thought that Crowley had missed him so much that he had comforted himself by putting on his vest. Simply because it reminded him of his presence.

When their lips parted a little later, still holding the demon against him, he said softly, "You don't have to be embarrassed, you know. And even if you don't want to hear it, I think it's really sweet."

Crowley grumbled, "Aziraphale, I swear, if you don't shut up."

Aziraphale couldn't help but laugh and added, "But that's okay, I'm the only one who knows, my adorable de-..."

Crowley growled again, but this time it was he who pressed his lips to the angel's to silence him.

However, the kiss did not change Aziraphale's mind.

It was as sweet and tender as the demon who gave it to him.

His adorable, handsome demon

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : here (After season 2)

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

[spiritualmeal]

Heyy what’s one kink that you really wanna do?

The kink I want to do the most is a very specific type of sadism. But I also want it to be in combination with other kinks. The kink would be best describes as painal. It has to be done with someone that's never been fucked in the ass and has never trained there ass ever either. Now we would start with some nice bondage. Shibari specifically; make you look all pretty, however I wouldn't want to tie you down as I would want to show you how much stronger than you I am by holding you down. You would be wearing a skirt and I would start off normally, grabbing your ass, playing with you a little bit, I'd even start by fucking your pussy a little bit, then as you lay there enjoying what I'm doing to you and waiting for me to put it back in I put my hand on your back to keep you from moving, I bring the tip of my dick up to your asshole. You freeze. There is now panic in your heart as you think "is he really going to do this to me? Is he going to fuck my ass? This must be a mistake.. please don't. It will hurt so much" and then you feel me push my dick in to your ass. It doesn't go right in because your ass is so incredibly tight and you start to panic and move around trying to keep me from going in "that's the wrong hole!", so I push down on your chest (also ideally we would be doing some ageplay) "I know kiddo, daddy just can't help himself.. it looks so tight and pleasurable" I say this as I am slowly pushing the tip of my dick in. "I just can't help myself baby I need to feel what it's like". You may think that I mean in your ass but what I am really talking about, what I really want to experience is your screams, cries, and pleas for me to stop. I want to put you through excruciating pain and I want you to endure as much as you can for me. "Please don't daddy, please don't fuck my ass" she begs me not to ask the tip is now inside her ass. I respond not in a whisper but in a low soft voice, "There's no stopping me babygirl. This is going to happen, but I know you're strong. You can do this kiddo". In a quiet voice you desperately ask me "please no" I can hear in your voice you're starting to sob as you're terrified of what happens next. "Baby this is all your fault, if you weren't so pretty and didn't have such a pretty tight ass for daddy then I wouldn't be made to need this from you" I then plunge my dick all the way into your ass. I enjoy the feeling for a moment, I enjoy your reaction be it a gasp, a cry, or more pleading. I then start relentlessly pounding your ass and telling you how good it feels, how nice it sounds to hear you cry, and how beautiful you look when you're in pain as I pull your head back by your hair and look you in your eyes while I fuck you. I keep going until I fill your ass with my cum and make you clean it with your mouth. I don't even have to worry about you trying to run. You're broken. Unwilling to move. You have no one to go to anyways. I am the only person in your life for you to cry to and be comforted by. I go back to you and I cuddle you, speaking into your ear as I do so. "I'm sorry baby I just couldn't help myself. I needed to do that to you. You're just so pretty and such a good girl." You're simultaneously scared and comfortable as my arms are wrapped around you. You hold on to them for dear life. "You took it so well as I fucked your ass. I loved hearing you scream, but baby you have to know that this is your fault. It's your fault for making me do this to you, daddy just couldn't help it. You deserved to get raped by me". Later that night while your ass is still sore I would fuck you again and hold you again till you go to sleep and that would be my ideal scene to act out

[finniestoncrane]

I've been binge reading your riddler stuff and maybe it's my fever but I feel sappy. Is it ok to ask for capullo!( that's it right?) riddler comforting a fem reader and letting her know he doesn't just like her physically? Sorry if it's vague I've got super brain fog rn but if you choose to write I recommend going hog wild! Have fun with it pls!

Aftercare

Capullo!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 2.1k not vague at all, i get you completely!! and i knew exactly what i wanted to do with this request, so i hope it's what you were looking for! also i hope you get/got better, i'm sorry it took me a while to get this out but bless your lil fevery soul for sending this prompt my way 💚 this is looooong i'm so sorry and it's pretty dialogue heavy which...yeah it is what it is ;-; my posts about this idiot: consistent flops me anyway: i am feeding myself and the capull-hos, i will write 2k words anyway request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: language, mentions of sex, angst, suggestive themes, sort of mean eddie, some fluff believe it or not

5.37am.

The light from the alarm clock was soft, the rising sun complimenting the warmth as it shone through your curtains. It was all so incredibly romantic and peaceful, or at least it would have been, if you hadn’t spent the better part of the night before and this most recent half hour being fucked within an inch of your life, Edward rutting like a feral animal into you, onto you, beside you.

He was getting dressed by the bed, lime green suit an affront to your vision in the morning, shirt unbuttoned underneath it, saving that for last. It was only as he slipped his shoes on that you put two and two together, checking the clock again and propping yourself up on your elbow, watching him smooth his hair down and grab his hat from the floor.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, got to.”

“Oh…can’t you stay? Even just for a little while?”

“Uhh…how long for?”

“Well, it’s only 5am.”

“Ok, and what would we do?”

You stared at him in confusion, met only with a blank gaze with a hint of impatience knitted across his brow.

“I thought we could have breakfast together?”

It seemed like such a simple request, 30 minutes to make you both something to eat. But it was met with a scoff and a distinctly mean smile.

“No can do, got better things to be doing.”

Finally buttoning up his shirt, he leant over you in the bed. For the briefest of moments, you were so sure that he was going to kiss you. Soft and gentle on your lips, caring and sweet on your forehead. But instead, he teased back the sheets, exposing your breasts to the room, before winking at you.

“Don’t get dressed, just wait for me to come back whenever I’m done, exactly like that!”

Laying flat on the bed, staring wistfully into the ceiling, you considered your next move.

There was something that kept you coming back for more, despite literally every other identifiable thing about Edward Nygma. His brash personality, perpetual and insistent over-confidence, the way he groped and grabbed, rutted and fucked like a man who had never known of the word ‘gentle’. And those were the qualities you found redeeming. There were no words to describe how you felt about him, deep down. At one point, you had thought the gut-wrenching sadness every time he left after you had sex was a hint that you had developed a bit of a crush on him, a desire to be with him even when you weren’t just satisfying a carnal urge. But recently, it had become more obvious that it was a desperate plea for acknowledgement of you, for him to pay attention to you outside of the clumsy and erratic schedule to which he fucked you.

And he couldn’t even stay behind for breakfast. You weren’t asking for him to confess his undying love. You weren’t even asking him to look you in the eye and make sure you came during sex. Breakfast. That was it. And he had “better things to do”.

So when he texted that afternoon, asking to come over in the evening, you ignored it. It was interesting to note that when the message came in, you darted to your phone at the little chime. And though initially you had been consumed by excitement at the thought of him getting in touch with you, a Pavlov’s whore reaction as you felt your arousal increase at the thought of him, you tossed your phone down without replying. If you were being honest, you were proud of yourself. Cold turkey was tough, and yet here you were, starting the period of radio silence you were willing to keep up indefinitely.

It wasn’t as though this had come out of the blue. You’d had multiple conversations in the past about what you were to each other, what this was. Countless times you had tried to even be friends with benefits, but he wasn’t interested in knowing you outside of coming and cumming and going. So surely, if he listened to anything you said beyond “harder, faster, more”, it wouldn’t come as a shock to him that you were completely done.

But an hour later, another text came in.

“You still asleep? Do a number on ya, did I? 😉 Can I come over later?”

And again, you ignored it. And the six others that came in quick succession at around 6pm.

“Hey, let me know if you’re busy or if I can come and rock your world again!”

“Don’t make me start sending riddles. I know how much you hate that.”

“Come on…if you’re not gonna text back at least send through something nasty 😉”

“I could get food if you want? On the way?”

“Starting to get annoyed baby. I’m not gonna hang around and wait for you much longer…”

“Ok…getting a bit concerned that I might have to find another fuck buddy…”

That last one, a hint of worry in it, made you even madder. If he really was concerned, why couldn’t he take it seriously? A message came in from another number, a mutual acquaintance.

“Hello, this is a weird question (and apologies if the police are reading this) but are you dead?”

Edward had sent his lackeys to investigate for him.

“Hey! I’m great, thanks. No police, no death. Need me to send a pic with today’s paper as proof?”

Nothing in return. And as a final nail in the coffin, you turned your phone off. You had dinner, watched some tv, drowning out any thoughts you had about Ed by periodically reminding yourself that your vibrator was right there in the drawer under the bed, and not only did it finish the job right, it would still be there after you came.

Interrupting your little pity party, though, there was a knock at your door. Peering out the peephole, you could see Ed, standing side on, arm leaning on the door. You opened it slightly, startling him, his body falling into the door with a pathetic little yelp.

“Yes?”

He grinned at you, his arm swooping from behind his back, one bag of some kind of food and a bouquet of flowers. He tilted his chin up and to the side slightly, staring you down and raising his eyebrows.

“Well?”

“What the fuck is this?”

He looked like a told off child.

“I dunno. I thought you were mad at me, so I did what people do when someone is mad at them.” He thrust the gifts forward, eventually bringing them back down to his side when it became obvious that you weren’t going to unfold your arms to take them.

“Do you even know what you’re apologising for?”

He let out a short, sharp laugh.

“Ok, well first of all, I’m not even apologising. So I don’t know where you got that idea.”

You closed the door on him, but he managed to kick his foot in the gap.

“Nonono wait!”

You held it open, looking up at him, the most unamused expression you could muster, desperately trying to hide the raw emotion threatening to expose itself behind your eyes.

“I just want a second, then I can leave if you want me to. Or I…can come in…?” He smirked, letting it fade quickly as he realised now was not the time.

“Ed, there’s professionals who can give you what you want. This isn’t fun for me anymore.” You moved back inside, attempting to close the door again, but his palms pushed it back lightly.

“Wait, wait. Did you actually want me to stay this morning? I just thought that’s what women said after sex…no?”

You pushed past the initial gut reaction, which was to question him on which other women he was claiming to have ever been with, but chose to stay on track with your rehearsed points.

“No, it’s not. But it was stupid of me to think you were interested in anything, or anyone, apart from you and your own selfish needs. Goodbye, Ed.”

The door closed with a slam, but he was persistant.

“Hey! You knew what you were getting into. I was very clear. You know who I am!”

“Yeah, most intelligent man in Gotham. Which I thought might mean you’d have more sense than to just leave after you’ve cum, like I’m absolutely nothing to you.”

“What made you think you were ever going to be something?”

It was harsh, hurtful. The silence after it rang out, and you didn’t care whether he meant it or not. He’d still said it. Slumping down against the door, stopping on the floor, tears fell copiously from your eyes as you accepted the realisation that Ed really didn’t care about you. Never had, and never had any intentions of doing so in the future either. You’re sat there for about five minutes, sobbing against the door, not very mindful of the noise you were making, as you were sure Ed would have left by now. But he spoke again, still outside.

“Please…can you let me in?”

“Go away, Ed.”

“Aw come on! I cam all the way over here with…things for you.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“Look, I’m the Riddler, babe. I’ll find another way in somehow, and then you’ll be really pissed at me. I’ll sit out here all night if I have to. I’ll get comfortable now, actually. How about a few riddles? What is red, white and-”

You cut him short, mercifully, opening the door and staring at him, tears wiped hastily away, but eyes still watery, cheeks reddened by the wet tracks. He gestured with his ‘gifts’ again.

“Food’s probably cold by now.”

“I already ate anyway.”

“Right. Can I come in though?”

“Why would you want to? I’m not going to fuck you.”

“That’s fine, actually.”

With your arms folded tight across your chest, you shot him a look of genuine disbelief. He chuckled lightly, holding his palms up.

“I’m serious. I want…” he took a deep breath in, almost pained expression written across his face “…I want to apologise.”

As you held the door open wider for him, he walked timidly inside, letting his palm find your forearm, gripping it once before going inside and sitting down on the sofa, sighing when you joined him, as though he were worried you might stand and berate him, or sit on the armchair, distanced.

“Ok, this isn’t very easy for me.”

“What? Being human?”

“Actually, yes. I’m an outsider, I operate on the fringes of-”

“Ed.”

“Right, right, sorry. I just mean…beyond having to trust someone to not stab me in the back or shoot me in the face, I don’t have to interact or offer myself up to anyone. That’s a lot of vulnerability.”

His words made sense to you, and as the tough exterior you had spent all evening, and most of the past week trying to build up crumbled away, you realised you weren’t that upset about allowing yourself listen to him, offering him your hand, which he took tentatively, eyes avoiding your gaze, but body facing towards yours, open and unguarded.

“I need to put distance between us, because…” as he hesitated, unusually stuck for words, he let his thumb sweep back and forth over the back of your hand, attempting to either soothe you or himself “…I’m scared of how I feel about you.”

“Bullshit.”

“Rude.” He smiled at you, catching your eyeline and looking away quickly. Feeling guilty, you shuffled closer to him, putting your head on his shoulder, hand on his chest, letting your fingers trail up and down. In a move entirely unlike him, he lifted his arm, enclosing it around your shoulder, pulling you closer, his head tilted over the back of the sofa, eyes shut and breath shallow as he continued.

“I don’t feel anything about anyone, except myself. And now you. And before you get excited, I don’t know what to label those feelings as, I certainly wouldn’t get excited about them. I just know that I…care what you think about me and I am willing to…work on being…better.”

It was as good as it was going to get, but even this small gesture of humanity, a display of weakness that you could potentially hold against him, if you were so inclined, displayed his trust and truth.

“So if you’re willing to put up with me, I’m willing to stay.”

“Huh…when you put it that way, it might have been a blessing that you were so quick to leave.”

He was on you, arms around you on the sofa, lips meeting amidst the giggles you both elicited.

[prettynhot]

12.01.2024 Fri the start of something? maybe?

2024 has been an amazing year so far! with the whole discovereu thing and the overall feeling,i’ve been doing good mentally! i feel and know that 2024 is going to be great!

i watched a vid yesterday about how our habits create our identity which goes hand to hand with our present moment. the girl on the vid was talking about the people who say “oh i used to be so skinny yet i thought i was fat, i was so skinny back then wish i knew!” she was making an analogy about how theres no end to a downfall. just goes and goes and goes until you decide to take things up a bunch of notches.

so i want to.

i love me,i love the girl i am,i love everything about me but not fulfilling my potential makes me feel unplesant.so i geniunely want to change. i’ll see how that goes. but i want to treat myself like a loved one again.

theres not so much ive achieved academically though yet.the reason for that is me. no bs. its me who didnt study hard and as much as i shouldve did and fell of my tracks. thats my fault and i know. just as i messed up though,i know im capable of getting everything back together as they were and maybe even better.with the whole huge exam thing i felt like i needed to push n push myself, not to care for myself and such. i thought that was the way it had to be.but no its simply not. im okay as i am. i have time. i have time for this and i have time for that. im good and on time.

lovin and caring for me has been a long journey and am not willing to give up just yet.

on that note and to take an action, i started getting help from one of my teachers. hes been great for this little time. i know thisll help me so much academically.

one other thing about that is the fact i have developed a crush on him.

and i know.

okay

i know!

but it was inevitable eventually.

hes a good and young looking man,who is quite fit and tall,knows how to dress, incredibly intelligent,mean to everyone else but me.

it was inevitable.okay.

i couldnt help but melt at all those times he made a joke and looked at me first to see if i was laughing,looked at me the most while teaching,always protecting me from other students.

plus considering all the di i have and my little tc history before,its not shocking. however i cant say that im not disappointed in myself a little. i thought my tc era had fully ended n i was recovered,healed,past that.appearently not. it does feel like going back a bit,like i’ve came back to an old self which shouldve been far far behind. however im not judging me cuz i know i had every single reason to and tbh,having a crush is very very fun. but anyway! theres that.

and actually,for some time i had noticed the little signs of me developing a crush,but i tried to ignore them signs and push them back time n time again,however they didnt magically disappear as i truly hoped they would.

and one other thing about all this is, after i realized i seriously had a crush on this man, before i started taking special academical help from him,it showed up in my behavior. and yes obviously thats very immature and childish for an 18yo. i know. im supposed to be an adult now and here i am going to my teachers office asking him “why are you working in the dark?would you like me to turn on the lights for you?” OUT OF NOWHERE.🤦🏻‍♀️ EMBARASSING UGHHH. i dont know what came over me truly. guess i want just behaving instinctively. but that was a dead giveaway from me and it sucked. he literally laughed when i did that💀cuz even he thought that was certainly absurd💀very embarassed.done with this.

anyway,ever since then i did have some little moments of instinctive behaving which were little giveaways. since then he has not been acting the same, which was what i loved the most,him being mean to everyone but very soft on me.

ever since these incidents, he has been incredibly mean to me. to a point where i was just about to cry once.

that one day i was about to cry,the one he really hurt me,he was dropping me off at my house since it was quite late. and it’s actually a nbd because he always drops students off and im always at seated at the back,for everything to be appropriate. yk,teacher student boundaries etc.whatever that means.

anyway he was quite chatty despite playing on me n being mean to me the whole time of both his classes but i was actually hurt. i had to keep myself from bursting tears in front of the whole class so i focused on my breathing n posture in order to not cry. and i did not since i made great efforts.but i couldnt help but feel like clown since i had dressed prettily,done my make up prettily just for him to maybe look at me more. notice me more. for him to be even nicer to me.i just wanted to be pretty for him to look at okay. i liked his validation i still do. so maybe i wanted that more i genuinely dont know. now writing all this maybe(probably) i was desperate n it showed. whatever the case maybe he was too mean. wayy too mean. yet still on the way home,he’s on his best behavior trying to talk to me,while we are alone in the car. he asks me questions about class,i answer them as they are.he did notice i was upset. he asked me about it. i told him nothing happened. he kept asking and asking. finally i told him how he hurt me so much during class. to this he got on full defensive mode, explaining himself quite ambitiously yet somehow mainting to stay relaxed and being able to laugh. going on about how teachers could be hurt from students but students cant from teachers and how just messing with students was the only thing he liked about being a teacher and i was trying to take that away from him?

honestly? bullshit to me. after he was done i explained i wasnt mad, i wasnt acting weird towards him or anything like that and i wasnt accusing him,i was just telling him how i felt upset by his behavior. to that he stayed silent for a while. then went on to say that i should focus on my studies no matter what and shouldnt care about what he says that much. then i told him we’ll see about that, thanking him while getting out of car.

and that day i had actually promised i’d go to see him for an academic review the day after but i decided not to go because i had a far more important thing to do.

today we had a class together.i intentially did nearly no make up,dressed slightly below average and avoided eye contact as much as i could, just cuz tomorrow ill go all out,so i wanted to create that contrast. im not trying seduce him nor am i willing to date him in any way, i just like his attention very much and i like the feeling of “winning someone over”. so i will. i believe in no time he’ll be doing his best to not like me so much. hes a strong minded man of principle so i know he certainly wont even get close to passing any lines in the teacher-student relationship,however id like to see him struggle :)

so thats all about him and my little crushing.

after im done writing this,i’ll get back to my house and study for tomorrows big big exam n pick out my outfit n make up for that day. then making myself some hot milk foamed coffee and resting is also in my plans.

thats all i can say for today. my friends didnt come to attend any classes tdy so i dont have any updates on that part,other than one of my friends texting me they have ripped the blouse they borrowed from me n could repurchase the same thing ‘if i’d like them to’ 🙂 obvi i said that wasn’t necessary because i know she wouldnt be able to get her finances right to afford that but im still upset because that blouse made me body look incredibly amazing:( but it’s okay ig.

well:)

all for now. see you tomorrow? ;)

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

It’s long since night has fallen, their fire is starting to die low but the dome around them keeps them nice and toasty. Veth and Jester are on watch, their eyes gazing out at the dark forest around them. Veth’s hand twitches for her crossbow at every rustle of leaves, every snap of a twig. They’ve been attacked one too many times in these woods for her not to be incredibly vigilant. 

As expected, Jester isn’t much help. Though she is watching as well, it’s clear her mind is elsewhere from the way she tugs on the end of her hair and how frequently her eyes drift from the trees up to what scattered bits they can see of the night sky. 

So it’s no surprise to Veth when the tiefling interrupts the silence with a soft, “Veth?” She hums in response, not quite willing to tear her eyes from the treeline. Jester tugs on the ends of her hair with more purpose, “Will you braid my hair? It’s getting long and in the way. It’s really bugging me”

“You don’t know how to braid?” Veth asks, lifting a quizzical eyebrow at her. 

Jester rolls her eyes, “I dooooo, but it’s always better when someone else does it. Please?” She looks at Veth, making her eyes as big and sad as she possibly can. The only puppy eyes that work on Veth are Yeza and Luc’s, but she sighs anyway and gestures Jester over towards her.

“Fine, not much to do anyways.” Jester jumps to her feet with a wide smile and quickly steps over everyone before plopping to the ground in front of Veth, handing her a hairbrush. Even seated, Jester is taller than her so Veth rises to her knees to be able to better reach the girl’s hair.

Very gently, Veth starts the brush through her hair, starting at the ends. It just hangs down to Jester’s shoulders so it’ll be easier to put in two braids. To Veth’s surprise, Jester’s hair is soft and not nearly as tangled as she expected. 

“I used to do this for Yeza, you know,” Veth tells her as she divides Jester’s hair down the middle. “When we first got married he had hair a little shorter than yours and I would braid it for him every morning so he wouldn’t accidentally burn it off in the lab.” Veth smiles at the memory, comforted by the fact that Jester can’t see her face. “Eventually I managed to convince him just to shave it off so it would be less of a hassle.”

“I think he’d look good with long hair,” Jester muses. “Very rugged and romantic.” 

“He did,” Veth agrees. “I used to cut his hair for him so when I wasn’t there it grew out again.” A heavy tone enters her voice, one full of sorrow. “He made me cut it for him when we were in the Xhorhaus.”

“My mama used to braid my hair all the time when I was little,” Jester tells her. “And then…she got busier as I got older and left me alone a lot more.” Jester’s tone is sadder than Veth was expecting, something she rarely hears from the tiefling. “But she had to work and I was pretty good at entertaining myself, especially when I had Artie with me.”

“I bet,” Veth hums supportively. “You were alone a lot?”

Usually Jester tries to shrug it off, but this time her shoulders slump and she softly admits, “Yeah.”

They fall silent as Veth continues to braid Jester’s hair. Being raised in a prominent halfling community, Veth knows plenty of different ways to braid hair. But Jester, she just opts for something simple that she can do without much thought.

She thinks quite a lot of Luc in that moment, how she hopes more than anything that he never feels like Jester did. And at the same time her heart aches for the young woman in front of her. Jester isn’t a child, she’s really only a bit younger than Veth. But there’s something about her naivety and her joy that makes Veth want to protect her, to look after her. 

That’s the excuse she uses when she finishes both braids and leans forward to kiss the back of Jester’s head. “All finished.” 

Jester grins and turns around, giving Veth a big hug, “Thank you so much!”

“Of course, any time you want,” Veth tells her. “I got the rest of the watch, you get some sleep.”

Jester gives her a look, “Are you sure? I can stay up.”

Veth shakes her head, “You’re going to fall asleep anyways, at least be comfortable. Goodnight, Jester.”

“Night, Veth.” Jester crawls back over to her bedroll and tucks herself in, all that’s showing out of the top of her blanket is her horns and a bit of her hair. Veth sighs fondly, trying very hard not to reflect on all of the memories stirring up in her head. Thinking about Luc and Yeza now will just make her homesick. 

But she keeps looking at Jester, and for now that seems to do the trick.