#40 minutes of mean gay sex

[swashbucklery]

I know I am never going to be a Star Wars Fandom Person and that I am not reacting to Ahsoka the way the rest of the internet is reacting because that was, without a doubt, the funniest dumbest gay thing I've ever seen??? HER STORMTROOPER FRIENDS LEFT

AND SHE STARTED CRYING

AND THEN RAN AWAY ON A WOLF (yes it's a howler i know it's a howler shh) TO BE SAD IN THE MOORS ALONE FOREVER(????)

NO ONE GIVE HER A HUG THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE, I need to see her carve BAYLAN SUX into the side of a spaceship with her lightsaber. I need to see her dramatically tearing up as she learns that Evil Doesn't Pay I want her to listen to Space Evanescence alone in her room in the dark I need her to go to the Space Hot Topic and spend too much money on nail polish that DEFINITELY DOESN'T MAKE HER THINK OF SABINE this is critical to my enjoyment of Star Wars.

[kremlin]

"This event ends the moment you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherfucker" -- Big Bill Hell

There was a time when you'd see little old ladies paying for the groceries with a hand-written personal check, holding up the line, causing an immediately-forgiven slight sense of annoyance with those behind her. Buddy. Those days are over. They've been over. What, did you think you were going to just pop a couple extra zeroes on the end of your paycheck there? Maybe scan your paycheck, open it in photoshop, make a template, print em out all nice? You think you're the first to think of that, dipshit?

It takes the law a long time to catch up with the state of the art. You're reading this on the internet, which means you never use checks. The law has caught up. Your ass will be going to prison immediately and you will see zero return.

You can't even kite checks anymore, and hell, nobody under 40 will even know what that means, due to the blazing fast, two day settlement on all ACH transactions. Let me paint you a picture.

You get paid on Friday, but it is Monday, and bills are due on Tuesday. And you're broke: $0 in the bank. Goose egg. Pop open your checkbook, go to a store, "buy" some things, write a check for the amount. The cashier takes it!

Now take those things you "bought", across town, to another store location, and return them for cold hard cash. Sweet. Bills paid. Friday rolls around, and you just make it to the bank to deposit your paycheck before it closes. After the weekend, the checks you wrote finally post, and they don't bounce! You've kited a check. You've surreptitiously taken a zero-interest loan. And we know your broke ass. The interest rate on that short-term payday loan should have been straight up usurious. We're talking 29%. That makes predatory fuckers like us horny for sex. We're so mad. Now you are going to Federal Prison. For a good minute. Fuckface.

COST: $0.10 (With banks offering free checking accounts + Bic pen)

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor sleet, if you fuck with the mail, we'll rip your nuts off" -- Ronald Mail (Inventor of Mail)

Many people have this misnomer that the most powerful people in politics are democratically elected. The president, of the United States, of America, is a stupid cartoon hotdog. All of them, I don't care. Way less clout than you'd think. Brilliantly, it is the people that the hotdog president appoints who are actually doing anything significant. The director of the CIA. The fucking chairman of the Federal Reserve. Probably the, like, most senior, uh, general of the military, and shit too. I don't know, we don't "do" army here at Bloomberg. You probably don't even know their names! I don't! These are the ones you should be seeing in your sleep.

There's another position like that. Appointed directly by the hotdog. The Postmaster General. That's a real title. He's the CEO of the mail, and buddy, what he may lack in political power relative to the director of the CEO, he makes up in raw sexual energy. Total Tom Selleck energy. Like an airline pilot. We're talking Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm tentpoling in my black business slacks just writing this, and all my Bloomberg newsroom bros are peering over my shoulder and also tent-poling. We're not gay though, and especially me, I'm probably the least gay, but sometimes I just lay awake for hours at night what that mustache would feel like pressed against my lips, the unbelievable and utter, total sense of security I'd feel burying my head into his hard chest.

You get it. He's your dad. And if you fuck with the mail, you've fucked with the tools in your dad's garage. And dad's been drinking. You're in for it, bucko, you are in trouble. Do you think the United States Postal Service actually makes any money? Hell no. It costs like five bucks to mail a box basically anywhere I can think of and they give you the boxes for free. You can just walk in the post office and take them. I do that, and then just throw them away, I don't know why, some kind of compulsion. Being able to move shit around like this, quickly, cheaply -- Jesus H, I've got a huge amount of money in my bank account, probably tens of trillions of dollars (due to financial knowledge gained from reading Bloomberg articles) and I could probably mail every single person ever something and still come out in the black.

No way pal. They've thought of that already. The Postmaster General is going to know every time, and he's going to grab you by the shirt collar, wearing his cool as fuck hat, and you're going to get your pants pulled down, and your bare ass spanke...I need to go use the restroom real quick.

We rely on the mail system to get important shit done. It's not something to be taken lightly, and it isn't. Trust me. This is why, like almost every other person who receives mail in this year 2023, I just fucking put a wastebasket under my mail slot. I don't even shred that shit anymore. I just burn it. Takes less time.

COST: $0.63 (Postal stamp)

"Can call all you want, but there's no one home // And you're not gonna reach my telephone // Out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb // And you're not gonna reach my telephone" -- Lady Gaga

I read something wild that the children of today do not know what a dial tone is, because of how fucked up and stupid they are. Isn't that super fucked up?

While it's not really our style, allow me to fill you in on some ancient, arcane knowledge about the telephone. You can turn it on, and then you can punch in numbers. Any numbers. Random ones, or maybe not random ones. If the ten numbers you punch in are the same as the numbers in someone else's telephone number, their phone will ring, and then you are talking to them. This is called "Phreaking".

Here's the kicker: You can tell that jackass anything you want. "Oh, Hi, Yes, I am Reginald Sumpter calling from Avalon Consulting LLC, we are just following up on the invoice we sent you. Please remit to ###### routing ###### account."

BOOM! Your name isn't Reginald whatever and that company doesn't exist, but you just received a deposit. It's fucking beautiful. What have you done wrong? It isn't your responsibility to handle who your business' clients/etc are, it's their's. If they want to just pay you money for no real reason, well, that's kind of on them, isn't it? I haven't stuck a pistol in your face and demanded everything in the register.

Well, it's too clever. It's too slick. This is the United States of America. It's one thing to commit a felony like armed robbery, it's another thing to piss off someone in charge of the accounting division who uses a special bathroom you need a key to get into.

You can do it on the computer too, I use a PC Computer at work and send email, so you can see how it'd work there. You can make a document that is indifferentiable from a real invoice and, straight up, 1/3 of the time they will pay that shit. Lmfao.

It's called wire fraud because, uhh, duhhhh, there's wires. What do you think that thing is strung between the telephone receiver and the dialer? And computers? Give me a break. There's so many wires with those.

COST: $0.25 (Coin for payphone)

"People calculate too much and think too little." -- Charlie Munger

It is insane how dumb the common man can be when it comes to our world of expertise. I hear this same sentiment, like, ALL THE TIME:

"Durr hurr I will buy an insurance policy for my car or house or whatever so that in case something happens to it I will get money". And then that same person proceeds to drive safely or not burn their house down. Dumbest crap imaginable.

Let me break it down for you. Insurance is a two player competitive game. There is a winner and there is a loser. Go take out an expensive insurance policy on your American sports car. Buy a neck brace, a football helmet, and pack that bitch with throw pillows. Then get in the left lane of a major highway at like noonish, let it rip and then SLAM on your brakes. Hit from behind! Your fault! Congratulations. You have won insurance. How this gets past people is beyond me.

You can only do this once or twice before the insurance companies catch on. Then they don't want to fuck with you. It is also..I don't know man...something feels off about taking a car or a house, which like, some guy had to build and just destroying it, but that is only a weird emotional thing, since you're making money, more than whatever the destroyed thing is worth, so in reality you've built that house plus some extra. You've contributed.

COST: $106.00 (Average monthly car insurance payment)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SUBSCRIBE TO MY WHATEVER FOR PART TWO, COMING SOON. i'll post it later today probably. whatever time frame will juice the numbers. have a sneaky peaky

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[prettyboypistol]

Can we see some head-canons of how the mercs would react to the reader asking to join them in the shower.

Asking The Mercs to Join You in The Shower || TF2 Mercs x M!Reader 18+ MDNI

Scout

"ahahaha without me bbg?" energy every time you say you're showering. As soon as you offer to let him join you, he blushes a deep red and insists that you're weird and that he's not gay. He thinks about it though, and after about 5 minutes he goes to his room, then sneaks to the showers to ask if you were serious about your offer.

What happens: probably nothing toooooo spicy, but maybe a sloppy make out session and some heavy petting. As soon as you touch his dick he jolts back and says that's too far. You nod and apologize.

Soldier

Doesn't really understand the connotations immediately, but as soon as you offer him a blowie he's like "I AM NOT A BRIBABLE OFFICER, PRIVATE!" You assure him it's not to gain favor, it could just be a one-time thing. You just think he's very handsome and would be honored to get hot n' heavy with a superior officer.

What happens: a blowjob and you worshipping Soldier's body- maybe he gets a little rough with you, but nothing too bad since it's under the guise of a one-off hookup.

Pyro

Pyro innocently accepts and offers to wash your back in public, but as soon as you two are alone, they know your game. They push you against the wall and breathe against your neck, the mask causing a noise that envelopes your senses.

What happens: You get to see what's under the suit- well, barely- the steam obscures your vision when they unzip the pelvis zipper of their suit. Whatever is was, it felt good.

Demoman

Teases you about needing some company to shower, asking if you need help washing your back or if you just want an excuse to see him naked. When he arrives he's very pleasantly surprised to actually see you there with an intention to do more than wash his back.

What happens: probably at most a mutual handjob or a dominant Demoman giving you a reach around while you're pressed against the tile walls.

Engineer

Blushes a bright red and hides his face in his hands, waving you away and calling you crazy. He grumbles and goes to his workshop to tinker on his machines, as he usually did when he had emotions to process.

What happens: he doesn't join you initially, but comes to your room late into the night and offers to shower with you then. By the way, he built a toaster while he was busy.

Heavy

Doesn't know what to think at first when you ask, desperately wants you to mean an innuendo, but is highkey a little insecure about himself- who'd like a man in his late 40's who's got a bad case of MPB? Well, when you come onto him his bran explodes.

What Happens: Probably some kissing, maybe a little hesitant touches. Nothing too spicy but intimate enough for both of you to blush when you see each other the next day.

Medic

Very flirty, very down for the proposition. Offers to escort you to the showers himself levels of down for whatever. As soon as the waters are warm our hands are all over each other, his glasses were knocked on the floor, you are overwhelmed with pleasure and his mouth on yours.

What Happens: Probably the farthest you go with any of the mercs, straight up a great possibility that you have sex. Medic's a passionate and rather noisy lover, so everyone avoids the shower until it's obvious both of you have left- and Engie sends in his cleaning robots. Just in case.

Spy

Applauds your boldness and bravery, but there is a 50/50 chance that he declines your offer unless you're blindfolded. As much as he has a sweet affection for you, he loves his mask ever so slightly more.

What Happens: An intimate bathing routine where you're blindfolded and sat on a stool in his personal shower, you're scrubbed, massaged, and pampered with the most aromatic sensations known to man. Afterwards, you might get lucky on his bed.

Sniper

Blushes a deep red, hides his face under his hat, and mumbles about how unprofessional you're being. You two are coworkers for christ's sake! Of course he declines your offer!

What Happens: He can't get the thought of you showering out of his head. It starts messing up his shots due to distracting him so much. After the third respawn, he groans and asks you to shower with him. Nothing happens, but you both get an eyeful of each other.

[betterbooktitles]

What makes a Jesuit boys’ school so entertaining is the irreverence in the face of certain damnation. There were adult authority figures, some imbued with the ability to forgive Mortal Sin, telling us we were going to Hell if we didn’t take our morality seriously. In response, we laughed and cracked jokes. We laughed so hard, in part, because the stakes were so high. If you could mock the Most Important Question, you could likely laugh off anything.

Humor was what opened me up to the idea that I didn’t share the values of the men teaching me to be a “good” person. Humor also taught me that I didn’t have to accept any of it.

The first time I heard shade thrown at the Theology department was during my freshman year when my favorite teacher sitting in a room in the fourth floor English department, in an entirely separate building from the Theology and History classrooms asked “what movie are they showing you over there this week?” It was true that for half the year, Theology teachers showed movies 40 minutes at a time to make important philosophical points. They screened The Matrix, Life is Beautiful (watched in tandem with our reading of Man’s Search for Meaning), and, my personal favorite The Shawshank Redemption which they showed to us in the summer before 9th grade to let us know what Jesuit school would resemble: something close to surviving solitary confinement. If you had music in your mind, you might make it out. I don’t doubt the efficacy of showing these movies to us to teach moral lessons. It was a better strategy than trying to force teenagers to read. I had never heard anyone mock the department, though, especially not another teacher.

To be clear, this scrutiny, at least of the lay teachers in the Theology department was justified. They fed us one-sided anti-intellectual drivel that had almost nothing to do with Catholic Dogma. Instead of learning about a biblical text, we spent hours listening to a guy tell us evolution was “just a theory,” that being gay was a choice, and that abortion was wrong in any instance (whatever your personal beliefs, understand that it’s kind of hard to hear both sides of that argument at an all-male school where the adult men were the authority on ethics). Then they showed us clips from Fox News of Terri Schiavo and told us the “correct” Christian response to the news.

One day, again in my freshman year when I was scared to question anything because of an inordinate fear that I could be thrown out of school at any moment, our Theology teacher pressed play on The Emperor’s Club (a 2002 Kevin Kline movie about a boy’s prep school that served in our teacher’s mind as some ethic antithesis to the more beloved (and frankly more entertaining) Dead Poets Society). A student in the back row raised his hand, and our teacher paused the movie. We sat in the dark room and rolled our eyes. Make this quick, buddy. We’ve got a movie to watch here!

“Jeff?” our teacher said, lifting his eyebrows.

“Yes, I was wondering about the prayer we read before class today,” Jeff said. He was a senior, a bit portly which was only noticeable because many kids did not bother buying new dress shirts every year. Once the stress of school forced you to eat your feelings four years in a row, you wound up with a gut putting pressure on your old shirts’ buttons. “It says in the prayer…” Jeff continued, “that Jesus descended into Hell. What’s that about?” 

“Well,” our teacher said, looking excited to finally talk about religion instead of answering some weird kid’s question about the ethics of having sex with aliens should they ever land on Earth, “according to scripture, we know the gates of Heaven were closed for a time, so when Jesus died he descended into hell first to free other righteous souls…”

“Yeah, a quick follow-up on that,” Jeff said, sounding interested, “does anyone believe this shit?” 

The cackles that erupted in the room nearly overwhelmed our teacher’s angry tirade. Jeff was sent to the Vice Principal’s office to await his judgment. It hadn’t occurred to me until that moment you were allowed not only to question those teaching us about religion but you were allowed to reject the faith altogether. 

From there, every argument began to collapse, mostly through funny moments:

A teacher tried to tell us IVF was wrong because “you have to jerk off into a cup. It’s not right.” One kid announced: “I’ve done weirder!” Guffaws. Cheers.

Another teacher claimed gay sex was always wrong because the sex itself was not ‘open to creating human life,’ to which a brave gay student volunteered “Oh, I’m open to it. I’ll keep trying and let you know if there’s a miracle.” Applause. 

When a teacher said video games could be considered a sin if they distract you from work, someone, half-asleep in the front row, let out a loud “Ah, shut up!” that made us all giggle.

My fellow students weren’t playing the game, arguing with the teacher on his terms, using logic. They were dismissing the arguments flippantly, and no adult could reply unless they were funny themselves. 

Read the rest here.

[tobyisher3]

The Piano

(William Afton x fem reader)

Fandom-Five Night's At Freddy

Tw: Fluff, mentions of divorce, trauma dumping Will, implied mentions of sex, Morning after, William Afton is a warning himself.

Pronouns-(She/Her)

Reader is 19, Will is 40 (DILF Will)

Key:

(Y/n)-Your Name

(L/n)-Last Name

POV: (Y/n)

                I woke up to the sound of someone playing the piano, no not just anyone William Afton. I smiled softly as he played and I listened getting up. I walked to towards the sound and when I spotted him, I leaned against the door frame. He went through song after song not noticing me as he continued to play and me admiring his back and how it moved with him. I sighed softly as if this spooked him and turned around his chocolate locks bouncing with his steel blue eyes looking in my soul.

He turned red as soon as he saw I was in one of his baggy shirts. "When did you get up, love?" He asked me looking away. "About 15 minutes ago, I didn't know you could play piano." I told him as he chuckled, "Michael used to play when he was younger and Clara taught me...then when Clara divorced me I couldn't even look at one. Then I met this adorable girl at my job. She showed me things I loved again." He said as I sat next to him. "I'm getting mixed signals." I told him as he looked at me.

"I thought me sleeping with you meant I liked you. I mean you were amazing last night." He winked as I looked away. "Pervert!" I exclaimed and he laughed. "I love you too, girly." He told me. "I can never tell with you William." I told him and laid my head on his shoulder. "Maybe we should go-" "It's 9am." I told him. "Love, it's 11." He told me. "No it's not." I said and grabbed my phone, it's-11." I slipped my phone back in my pocket.

He started to play some notes and I played some as well. "Do you love me?" I asked him and he whipped his head to me his steel blue eyes looked at me. "I do (Y/n), with all my heart. Why do you ask?" He asked me. "I'm just a girl you met at your work place, I applied and you hired me on the spot without reading my experience." I told him. "So? That doesn't matter to me, (Y/n). You made me a better man, I guess only one woman could do that and that was you. (Y/n), please date me?" He asked me on the spot.

I blushed and smiled softly. "William Afton, I (Y/n) (L/n), will be your girlfriend?" I told him as his face lit up. "Really?" He asked. "Of course." I told him, he hugged me softly. "You've made me the happiest man on earth, love!" He exclaimed. I chuckled. He kissed me and I was falling deeper and deeper. I was being engulfed with William Afton...and I loved every minute of it.

{So I made this before the movie was ever planned, but I guess if you want you can see it as Movie Afton and I won’t stop you. I mean I am in love with Matthew Lillard and as a trans guy who’s gay…so does my boyfriend lmao anyone drink water stay hydrated my William simps (I am too) or else I will be in your closet tonight~TI3}

[billthedrake]

REBOUND

I have the timing down pretty well. I mean, sometimes I come in a minute flat, sometimes I enjoy five minutes of glorious head before cumming. But the rest is predictable, even the traffic. I'll leave my house at 7:25. His place is a little detour on my commute but mostly was on the way to my office. So, twenty minutes drive to his in-town bungalow home, and another twenty to the parking garage I use downtown. I grab some coffee and am at my desk by 8:30.

It's been a solid year now. A year since I broke up with David. Well, since David broke up with me. We told ourselves it was an amicable split but nine years together was a lot. David was my first love, my first serious relationship. We'd planned a future together, bought a house together, and it turns out splitting was bound to be messy. We were cordial, but it turns out we weren't in the place to be friends. I moved out, to a cheaper inner suburb, and licked my wounds for a while.

I wasn't ready to date. Hell, I probably wasn't ready to hook up even, but a man's needs have a way of asserting themselves. Big time. So I set up a profile on the app. I defensively batted off a couple of guys before I saw his profile. His main pic was a photo of his open mouth, tongue slightly out. Before that kind of sluttiness would have been a turn off, but at that moment, I was boned in my sweats and intrigued. His profile description had me even more interested:

"Magic mouth and throat at your service. Talented cocksucker wants a nice piece of meat to suck on. No names, no chit chat, you just walk in, unzip, and get taken care of by a pro. I'm picky about the dicks I suck. Big ones, or hot masculine guys get priority, that's just how it is. Cops and military are especially welcome. I'm worth it, fellas, promise."

The guy's tone was off-putting, I had to admit. But I also had to admit I was boning up thinking of getting my dick sucked. David was never great at oral. I mean, he'd go down on me, but he preferred fucking or just mutual JO. I'd probably never date a dude as buff and perfectly muscled as him, but looking back, maybe our sexual chemistry wasn't the best. I'd been too into looks and perfection to realize it.

I sent Sucker Guy a dick pic. When he said he was looking for big cocks, I wasn't sure how big. But the eagerness in his reply told me I was hung enough. I mean, I'm not a cop or anything, so I just have my dick as my calling card.

"That's a nice fat one, man. Bring it over and let me drain those big heavy balls of yours."

This was no-nonsense, all right. I was more the chat and get to know a guy before stripping down kind of man. But Sucker Guy clearly wasn't. And at that point, my pent up sexual need was winning out. It had been two months since I'd had sex, and I was way overdue.

"Where are you?" I asked.

He gave me a neighborhood. Not close, but not far either.

"I can be there in about 20 or 30 minutes," I replied.

He typed back a full address. "Front door will be unlocked. Come on in."

OK, I felt a naughty thrill driving over. This was the opposite of the relationship sex I'd had with David. I started to worry this anonymous guy wouldn't live up to my expectations. Then I wondered why I even had expectations. So I tampered them. I'd get off, somehow, even if I had to masturbate to completion, but I'd get off. That was enough.

My boner had subsided some by the time I parked and walked up to his front door. It felt odd just letting myself in, but instructions were instructions. The inside was dim, curtains drawn and only a lamp on for light.

Right square in the middle of the living room was a man, fully clothed and waiting there on his knees. Only then I realized I'd never seen his full face, since his pics were cropped from the below the eyes, down. He was older, older than me at least. Maybe late 40s. Handsome in a normal way. I was out of his league as far as the gay pecking order went. I didn't give a fuck about the pecking order.

Just seeing him in that kneeling position and ready to take care of me got me hard. I nodded and said a brief "hey." I wasn't sure if that was against his no-talk preference, but I couldn't help it. If a dude's gonna suck me, I'm gonna acknowledge him.

I did just like his profile said. I pulled down my sweat pants. My boner had returned now, in full force and I enjoyed watching his eyes widen in excitement as he got a good look. I stepped up, giving him a better look. His fingers grazed my bone, and I thought he was going to take his time teasing me as foreplay. Instead, he circled his fingers around the base of the stalk and angled my cock toward his lips. And swallowed.

"Fuck!" I gasped. I watched as he swallowed me. Not all in one go, but close enough. This man knew what he was doing, all right. Some of it was showing off for my visual stimulation, some of it was focusing instead on the physical stimulation of my cock. For about a minute he worked me in a few ways, and I realized he was searching for what was going to turn me on more.

Turns out, I was way into the visual part. Seeing him deep throat me, seeing him hold me all the way inside his throat, seeing him slut out. So he did more of that.

"Suck my fucking cock," I hissed. I'm not a master at sex talk, but figured this cocksucker deserved some feedback. Indeed, the more I offered, the more he got into it.

He was now working me with long, six inch strokes of his wet mouth and throat. A real hooker BJ. It was the furthest thing from David's version of head. But at that moment, my ex was the furthest thing on my mind.

"God, I'm gonna cum, man!" I gasped. It wasn't a warning, it was a promise. Cause I was sure Cocksucker here wanted my load as bad as I wanted to feed it to him.

Maybe I needed to get laid more, because my orgasm just kept cumming. Maybe I didn't shoot unreal amounts of sperm, but it felt like it. Cocksucker swallowed it all in audible heavy gulps. I kept shooting, then dribbles. The whole time, I rode out my O in successive phases... intense, then steady, then aftershocks.

I hadn't touched him the whole time, but I now patted the side of his cheek. In thanks, but also a signal to let up. I was getting sensitive now.

He took the hint and pulled off, giving the tip a final kiss. He had a towel there, and I wiped off the excess spit, then tucked back in. All the while making eye contact with this man. Maybe it was the anon set up but just that eye connection felt particularly powerful at that moment.

"Thanks," he said, breaking the silence. I'm not sure what I expected his voice to sound like but his voice was deep and masculine, probably more than his looks.

"Yeah," I said. "All right," I added, unsure what the etiquette was. "Later, man. Have a good one."

He nodded, a grin on his face. Like he was amused by my awkwardness now that I'd gotten my rocks off.

That awkwardness didn't last long. As I walked back to my car and got in, I felt supremely happy. It wasn't fair to say I'd never had sex that good, but I'd certainly never had head that good, not by a long shot. My only fear was that Cocksucker had spoiled me for others.

To be honest, I still worry that. Because the anon Cocksucker and I developed a routine. After that first time, we'd messaged. I thanked him and praised his abilities. He offered to service me again. Whenever I wanted. So that following Monday, I stopped by on the way to work. I was in and out in two minutes. Cocksucker was just that good. He'd sucked a good load out of me and left me in a good mood all day at work. I told him so.

"Come by tomorrow, then," he replied, adding a devil's emoji.

"Yeah?" I asked. "I will if you're offering."

"I'm offering," he shot back.

It took a couple weeks before we stopped setting up our suck dates. From then on, Monday through Friday, he'd text me or I'd text him only if one of us couldn't make it. But that was a rarity. Almost every workday, I went over to his house and got my dick royally sucked. It never got old. It was like Cocksucker knew how to introduce new tricks in servicing me. And even when he didn't, the old tricks worked just as well. Sometimes I'd try to hold off cumming right away, sometimes I was eager to get off. Sometimes, he'd work me up slowly, sometimes he went right for the kill.

A year in, and I don't even know his first name. I keep worry he's gonna find a boyfriend or partner or something and shut down the arrangement we have going on. Then I worry I'm gonna find a boyfriend.

Maybe that was on my mind this morning. Like clockwork, I pull up to Cocksucker's place at quarter of 8. Like clockwork, I'm boning up in my business casual work khakis when I turn the knob and let myself in. Cocksucker is not always in the living room. Sometimes it's the bedroom, sometimes the kitchen, having his coffee. Sometimes, he's dressed sometimes naked or in his underwear. But he stops what he's doing and crouches or kneels in front of me. Sometimes before I have time to haul out my fat dick.

This morning, he's setting down his coffee on the kitchen counter and crouching on front of me. He's hungry, hungrier than normal if that's possible. It's gonna be a quick one today. As he goes down on me, I worry Cocksucker is keeping me from getting back out on the dating market. Then as he works me I know he is. I mean, there's no fucking way I'd find a man as talented this, who lives to worship my cock.

I place my hands on his hand and start thrusting. This is new for us. Usually Cocksucker prefers to do the work. But he let me fuck his mouth if I didn't go too hard. I was in the mood to today.

"Mother fuck!" I cry as I give it up, hard. You'd think Cocksucker didn't take care of me just yesterday. It was that kind of cum. Hard, one of those light headed orgasms.

As usual, Cocksucker kisses my dick as it clears his lips.

"That good, man?" he asks me. I wouldn't call it chit chat, but Cocksucker and I have gotten comfortable talking more. Mostly getting a little worked up with verbal before the deed and checking in after.

"The best," I say. "Fuck. man, each time you get better at it," I say.

He smiles. Those brown eyes look up at me, and he pats my leg affectionately before standing back up. "I'm gonna hold off drinking my coffee," he says. "I wanna taste your cum for a while longer."

I chuckle. I don't know, for some reason, I decide to take a chance. "The only thing that would have made it better is knowing your name." I look at him intently, gauging his reaction.

I can tell he's tempted but he shakes his head. "Buddy, I'm pretty sure the anon thing turns you on more." He leans back against the counter. He's in pajama pants and a heathered gray college T-shirt. His build is solid, in a middle-aged dude kind of way. The shirt is snugger than the ones he normally wears, and I have a sudden realization he's been working out lately, maybe dieting too. It makes me realize I know nothing about the man.

I sigh. "Man, I don't know what I want, I guess."

"Whaddya mean?" he asks. God that voice is sexy as fuck.

"I mean I want an on-call cocksucker, but I want a boyfriend, too. Guess I can't decide which is better."

"I wasn't expecting this," Cocksucker said. He finally picks up his mug to take a sip and I find myself regretting he's no longer tasting my cum.

"You mad?" I ask.

"Flattered," he says. "But let's just I can't decide what I want either. I thought I could, before you."

I nod. "What makes me different?" I ask. I am on the verge of being late for work, but I have to know.

He smiles. "You know, at first I thought it because you're young and have a great body and an amazing dick."

"I'm not that young," I object. Maybe I should modestly object to the other parts, too, but I don't.

"Younger than me," he says. "By a good bit."

"I don't give a fuck about that," I say. It's like I'm auditioning for a chance to ask him out.

Cocksucker doesn't respond to that. Instead, he continues. "I think after a while, it was your sheer sexual need that made me go for you. That and the nonverbal stuff. When you suck a dude's cock, you get real in tune with the nonverbal communication."

I nod. "Fuck, I should get going, I gotta be at the office soon.... I guess I dropped some heavy stuff on ya."

He shrugs. "If you come over tonight, would you be able to get off again?"

That surprises me, but I know the answer. "Um, yeah. I definitely could."

He pats my shoulder. We've gotten a lot more comfortable around each other. "Then come over and I'll suck your dick again. And we'll talk. OK."

"Yeah," I say. I'm awkward leaving his place, like I haven't been in ages.

Even if the sex was hot, I find myself going through my day lacking the usual good mood from Cocksucker's handiwork. Instead, I'm mulling things over in my head and wondering if I fucked up a good thing.

Only about 2 o'clock, I get a message. "My name's Sam."

I smile. "Cool. I'm Adam," I reply. Then I type a few variations of the same message, erasing each one before finally sending: "I guess I have a name in my head for you besides Cocksucker."

Maybe that's too much but Sam replies. "Cocksucker is good too! Still on for later? I got home around 6, so any time after that."

"Yeah, sounds great," I type back. Already chubbing up at my desk.

[bsideminibang]

Title: I Had Some Time (With You)

Author: @songliili

Artist: @keikakudom

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Warnings: Major Character Death

Tags: Inspired by The Last of Us, Episode: s01e03 Long Long Time (The Last of Us), The Last of Us Spoilers, (in a way), Croatoan Virus, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Survivalist Dean, Recluse Dean Winchester, (ex), Teacher Castiel, Dean is Bill, Cas is Frank, they both die, but they're, Old Dean Winchester, Old Castiel, it's basically, Euthanasia, for cas, Terminally Ill Castiel, Assisted Suicide, and dean follows him, Dean Winchester Dies By Suicide, Suicide by Overdose, briefly mentioned, Past Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Smart Dean Winchester, Closeted Bisexual Dean Winchester, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, Assisted Suicide, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel and Dean Winchester First Meet, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time Having Sex, Blowjob, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester

Posting Date: September 6

Summary: It's 2005 when things go to hell. Well. They go to hell for everyone except Dean, ‘cause he was ready for it. Well. He was ready for the apocalypse, not for the gorgeous man who fell into his life, quite literally. OR a Destiel rewrite of Bill and Frank's love story as shown on HBO's 'The Las of Us episode 3: Long Long Time' that uses elements of both universes.

Keep reading for an short excerpt:

It’s late morning and Dean is working on one of the fire-throwing traps that lately has been malfunctioning, when the alarm blares in the bunker because one of the hole traps triggered it. Annoyed, because that means that he has to haul up an infected corpse and he’s really not in the mood, Dean picks his favorite rifle, and walks out of the bunker to kill the son of a bitch.

The incriminated trap is only a five minute walk on the North-East side of camp, and close to that gate as well. At least the asshole had the decency to not make Dean walk for too long out of his safe haven. He shuts off the electricity running through the fence and unlocks the gate to go outside, then locks it behind him.

Dean cocks the rifle and raises it to aim before getting to the hole’s edge, when he hears a desperate voice yelling “Wait! I’m not infected!”

Confused, Dean walks the remaining three steps to see who the intruder is.

To be fair, he doesn’t look infected, no. He just looks like the most beautiful man Dean has ever seen. Dark unruly hair with a little bit of gray at his temples and in his long beard, so he’s probably in his 40s or early 50s. Despite the shadow at the bottom of the hole, the man's blue eyes are shining, adorned by crow’s feet, and the laugh lines in his face are still visible under the beard. There’s also a small wrinkle on his forehead just between his eyes. The past three years surely have given the man multiple reasons to furrow.

After two seconds of stunned silence, Dean wears his angry mask, scowling at the stranger from behind the rifle’s viewfinder. It’s not because he wants to see the man’s eyes better, shut up.

[ohdudehesflirting]

dream & their godly parents

warnings: blades swords swearing gay shit mentions of kissing and food I think

note: love pjo and nct sooo yeah

마크<3

defo big 3

i think Poseidon is the best match

in chilling in the dream

how he was ok with the cold ass water

ma boi yes.

when he finds out ab being able to control water

(also surprised he can talk w horses)

“whoa dude- what just happened”

“u have powers” “wtf”

also … his spider-sense

very agile in combat

outside the arena……

clumsy somehow??

different story for another day

don't let him near bows and arrows

my guy how did u manage to break 4 bows in the span of 3 minutes

he is clearly as confused as you are

“dude I'm as lost as u”

our Canadian boy<3

런쥔<3

did I make this whole post just to vent ab child-of-athena!renjun

ummm… ofcourse

every sane person would do that right ????

right????

n e gays

very smart

book and street

gives the best advice

very calm…. is……. yeah no one believed that

shouts a lot but outside of libraries

if u disrespect libraries u are done w him

gets lost in thought a lot

lots of spacing out

probably planning his next murder but u didn't hear it from me

very skilled w bow and arrow

with swords….. not so much

very charming in an unexpected way

loves owls bc they remind him of his mom

has read harry potter

avid hater

(has secretly watched the half blood prince 13 times and has a ppt of 40 slides ab why its the best movie)

ace <3

does not care ab sex

제노<3

big 3

100%

he is the one with the most Zeus vibes

or ares maybe

but I don't see him being conflictive

but he is sharp? if that makes sense

(it does not ik)

but yeah

very scary looking

has a reputation for being good at close combat

biggest softie ever

can sometimes control electricity

gets called sparkly fingers by jaem

bc when he's nervous he fidgets w the electricity

gets along w jaemin bc jaemin was very anti-social

and he was a social butterfly with no real friends

they are inseparable now

rumor says they make out sometimes but u didn't hear it from me

bi wife energy but he's the bi wife

동혁<3

an Afrodite kid if I ever saw one

when he arrived to camp

he was the moment

the initial thought was that he was gonna be mean

bc that's how movie logic works

pretty= mean

don't blame me blame Hollywood

but he is an actual ray of sunshine

gets confused a lot w apollo kids

bc ma boi has pipes

gets along w everyone

but is not afraid to stand up for his friends

very extroverted and witty

has a good sense of humor and is street smart

met mark just as they were both discovering their powers

when he is close to a person he can see who they have feelings for

safe to say he saw Jeno and jaem

stuck w mark bc he could relate to him

ended up being soulmates

hyuck is a ray of sunshine

재민<3

hades…

yes

he is powerful and he knows that

likes that he can inspire fear

On the inside he loves romcoms and cries every time he watches the notebook

big softy

tsundere!!

was not close to a lot of people

no one except his brother and sister (irene and yoongi)

they adore each other so much

it's like they have their own language

but he had like o friends so when jeno approached him

he was surprised to say the least

likes being accompanied in silence

haTES small talk

would very much rather talk ab ones purpose on earth

or death too (pun kinda intended

talks ab deep shit w renjun

who he met through jeno

jeno says his coffee order comes from the depths of hell

(funny u say that )

jaem switches their drinks to see the disgusted expression on jeno’s face

(a simps behavior)

천러<3

apollo kid??

yeah

doesn't really fit in w his siblings

bc he has a darker aura

people mistake him for an ares kid

but he loves his siblings and his siblings love him

as an apollo kid he can sing v well

beautiful voice

but kinda shy to sing live

not scared to approach others

but prefers staying in his circle

really likes daggers

and is vv good w them

he trained mark for a bit

and then gave up bc he realized the canadian is helpless w any dagger or bow or anything except swords for a reason

arrived at camp w jisung

been stuck by the hip ever since

I see chenle where is jisung 🤨🤨 oh there he is hi ji

constantly giving each other gifts

fun fact his dagger was a jisung gift when they were finding their preferred weapon

lowkey like each other

they spend time near the auditorium

(word on the street says they make out sometimes but u didn't hear it from me)

i love chenle

지성<3

CHILD OF ARESSSSS

tell me u don't agree🤨

impossible

cute but agile

he is vv shy tho

when he battles completely transforms

extremely talented w swords

when he first picked up one

he felt complete??

idk that's what he told chenle

his sword is made of celestial bronze

takes care of it more than his life

his sword was a gift from his dad

but his dad sent it by chenle

chenle jokes that he is the best gift-giver ever

training and fighting is very therapeutic for him

98% of the time is in the arena when he is not with chenle

trains with the straw dummies when he has a lot on his mind

“training w straw dummies is very mundane so it helps me think”

he is on the younger side out of all the campers

but has more experience than most of them

[mildiva]

Against Talking, For Sharing Bathrooms

alright despite three paragraphs of my first draft getting deleted i will Bravely begin again

(Prescript: tumblr has marked this as “mature.” is it because of the word bathrooms? do they think I’m advocating for gay sex? scholars remain divided.)

scene: beautiful, not-quite-lazy not-quite-spring saturday. what else is a girl to do but go out dancing? i’d already missed a great party, perverse, the night before. frankly i expected it to be kinkier than a bunch of gay guys in jockstraps, but who else would pay $40-50 for a night out? or who else could? instead I’d spent the night trying to fit a very nice and hairy boy’s monster cock inside my designer pussy.

what was i talking about? right, dancing. the first thing i saw on RA looked good: A/S/L? at Neptune Room, hosted by Associate. A bar and a DJ I wanted to check out what could be better? I rotated a thousand outfits in my mind, landing on a slutty White Lotus guest look.

Whenever I go to a new bar or venue, I go straight to the bathroom so I can assess the pee situation and begin a preliminary vibe analysis. All gender bathroom? good sign. matrix on the TV? Also a good sign but points towards a nerdy clientele. as I started looking at everybody else in the bar I noticed one mean trans girl I know from around everybody else seemed… can I say this without sounding rude? Very 30- Somethings-bisexual-practicing-ethical-non-monogamy-coded. There’s nothing wrong with being that; I have a wonderful coworker who fits the description. However, not necessarily the group I most want to get down with or that I think will be the most fun to dance with. Unfortunately, my prejudices were right. 

I pee, I down a gin and tonic, and I shuffle my way to the teeny tiny dancefloor. Like, illegal basement Bushwick apartment bedroom. On a dancefloor that cramped, real dancers need every inch of real estate they can get it. So why was it filled with people standing there talking? As an empath, I get that not everybody wants to dance — however, the dance floor has a purpose, and if you don’t wanna dance, make space for the real dancing divas. Especially with music that’s supposed to be groovy as the party was billed! House, six different flavors of disco. hat is things and then switch to groove to die. Even punks need room to skank, and techno bros need room to move like those musical cactuses from animal crossing. Just putting it simply: if you don’t wanna dance, get off the dance floor, you can stand to the side or sit somewhere. Or fuck off! I’m not your mother.

Obviously, the crowding annoyed me to no end. So I get on Twitter and start complaining. This turns my night around. Ms. Gabberbitch69 told me come to Suns, a small theater frequented by film bros and film hoes where DJ Michelle Harvey was throwing For Your Pleasure, an Italo disco party. I chew on this, go to the bathroom again to take pictures (because I looked fucking good!). Aside from that, the only thing that’s really been a plus for me was a house cover (?) of a Björk song (Leash Called Love by the Sugarcubes) which frankly was the only reason I stayed as long as I did. When I came back to the dance floor people were at least two-stepping, so I thought I might stay for a while, but then simultaneously three different heterosexual looking couples started making out. When I saw that, I closed my tab and got my white ass out of there.  

A 10 minute drive and 30 minute parking adventure later, I roll up at Suns. I knew it would be good when I walked in and felt the temperature rise 30 degrees. Both floors were absolutely packed, so I put in my time waiting at the bar, one eye on the bartender wearing a top surgery scar tank. After my G&T is drained, I squeeze into a spot on the dancefloor and groove in my allotted half-square-foot of space. Some Japanese movie about… magical cats?… is being projected on the wall behind the DJ. It’s stunning. I don’t think I’ve intentionally gone dancing with a crowd that straight since the last time I went to Fl@sh (censored as to not invoke its demonic energy), but it was still a good crowd! I felt slightly out of place as one of five people dressed slutty but I made it work. The music was exactly as described: so 80s people should be doing coke off the tables.

(Okay coming back to this a month later I’ve dragged on far too long, lemme finish this)

I spent the rest of the night partying as I know how: dancing until I neared heat exhaustion, running outside to chat with friends of friends and friends to cool off, debating getting one more drink, sharing a bathroom and a bump with a man i was flirting with whose mouth unfortunately tasted too foul to continue anything with. The last DJ of the night closed with “Waking The Witch” by Kate Bush, a song I hadn’t listened to since starting SSRIS. So unexpected and dreamy.

Was I going somewhere with any of this? Not sure. Looking forward to the next For Your Pleasure though!

[psychokonfetti]

My experience of watching Asteroid City (2023) for the first time

may contain spoilers although not really because it doesn't have a plot

15 minutes into it: don't understand what the fuck is going on. Loving the colours tho

Choosing middle names for my 3 daughters, Andromeda, Pandora and Cassiopeia 😭

I've been told it's "Kino", and it is. Lots of talking slowly with long pauses, lots of silence that makes every sentence feel meaningful even when you don't know what it's supposed to mean

30 minutes into it: GAY SEX!!!!!!!! Well, implied sex

Midge is a ~quirky woman~ who has a black eye but it's painted on and she says "it's so I can feel like my character." Augie asks "how did your character get a black eye" and Midge is like "she doesn't. It's on the inside" #wow so deep

40 minutes in and I still have no idea what's going on

I don't know which storylines are real and which are part of the play, or what the point of any of them is, or who any of the characters are either off stage or on stage

Okay an alien randomly came and stole the asteroid they worship??? Laughing out loud because it looks so stupid

They're always talking about characters that have never been mentioned before as if we're supposed to know their whole backstory. Like Midge is mad at some guy called Schubert Green? and he thinks she'll never make it anywhere but we don't know why and she just reads this letter by this random person and it's referring to things that have never been mentioned so it makes no sense

Apparently Midge is also an actress in the play??

Augie put his hand on a grill and then says "why does he burn his hand, I still don't understand the play" mate me neither

Final Thoughts:

I think it would make a good music video, it's just pretty to look at but there's no story

I learned a new word when I googled an explanation of the whole thing: retrofuturistic

I watched a YouTube video about the meaning of the film and it is that there is no meaning

It's so meta, it's not supposed to make any sense because the actors don't understand the story either... and this can be interpreted as a metaphor for life as well. you don't understand what's going on but you just keep doing it.

It's art for the sake of art, performing only for the aesthetic and doing things just to be remembered. and that's exactly what I did by watching this film - for the aesthetic

Brb gonna download an Asteroid City Instagram filter pack and start a photography project inspired by Augie's photos in the film

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday!

Sweet potato ranks No. 1 in nutrition of all vegetables.

Paris has a ‘hospital’ for neglected houseplants.

Daydreaming is good for your brain.

A litre of beer or a litre of coffee is as hydrating as a litre of water.

Cremation causes silicone breast implants to explode.

40% of working Britons have less than £100 in savings.

The IATA airport code for Sioux City, Iowa is SUX.

Your motivation to "get up and go" starts to fail at around 54 years old.

One-third of entrepreneurs think their chance of failing is zero.

In Russia, it is illegal to tell kids that gay people exist.

Microscopic mites are currently living and having sex on your face.

The baby name ‘Karen’ is on the edge of extinction.

Only 2% of the world's population has green eyes.

80% of the world's population have never been on an airplane.

Your nipples are as unique as your fingerprints.

In 1976, more than 100 marijuana plants sprouted in the Anaheim Stadium playing field in Los Angeles after The Who performed there.

In 2014, German police issued a fine to a one-armed cyclist for cycling with one arm.

Humans spend 13% of their lives not focusing on anything in particular.

Men appear in the newspapers three times as often as women and have done since 1800.

In 2017, the US secret service advertised for a 'social media sarcasm spotter'.

Sometimes, creating a little distance will help people recognize how much you actually mean to them.

A study by Wijnand A.P. Van Tilburg and Eric R. Igou has shown that adding a middle initial to your name makes you seem smarter. This status is brought to you by Lindsay J. Wesker.

A moose can dive underwater down to nearly twenty feet in search of food. This makes killer whales their biggest predator.

Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, has towns called Intercourse and Paradise. It takes six minutes to get from one to the other.

Male ladybirds can spend up to four hours mating with a dead female before realising something is wrong.

Greenland lost so much ice in the 20th century that it changed the angle of the Earth’s rotation.

A sex manual in Qing dynasty China outlined 48 different ways to fondle a mutilated foot.

In December 2020, a man from Kazakhstan legally married his sex doll after 2 years of dating.

Crocodiles are fast on their feet but cannot turn very well. If one is chasing you, run in zig zag lines.

In 2013, Bill Gates said that the Ctrl+Alt+Delete command was a mistake and could have been just a single button.

4.8 billion people own mobile phones whereas only 4.2 billion own a toothbrush.

“The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.

A python from Australia became addicted to meth after living in a drug lab and was sent to rehab for seven months.

You have a better chance in getting into Harvard than becoming a Delta Airlines flight attendant.

It's ok and "I'm fine" are the two most common lies spoken in the world.

Men spend almost a year of their lives staring at women, a survey found.

According to Psychology people are constantly wishing for something, whilst overlooking that they already have.

Admit it when you're wrong and shut up when you're right. This is a simple way to drastically improve the quality of your relationships.

According to one survey, 95% of people claim they get nervous when they hear the words, “We need to talk.”

When you become really close to someone, you can hear their voice in your head when you read their texts.

No one really knows who invented the fire hydrant, its patent was burned in a fire.

Parents of newborn babies lose about six months of sleep during the first two years of their child's life

After drummer Pete Best was fired from the Beatles, he released an album called ‘Best Of The Beatles’. Buyers were disappointed to find out it was not a Beatles compilation album.

Humans are deuterostomes which means that, when they develop in the womb, the anus forms before any other opening. This means that, at one point, you were nothing but a bum hole!

When Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba, he ordered all Monopoly sets to be destroyed. Some believe the decision was because it symbolises capitalism but close friends believed it was because he always lost.

On September 11th, 2001, Roselle, a guide dog, saved the life of her blind owner by leading him all the way down from the 78th floor of the burning Twin Towers. The descent took approximately an hour in total and both safely made it out.

According to a study, male owners of luxury cars behave aggressively on the road not because of a corrupting effect of wealth, but because men who are self-centred and unempathetic are much more likely both to be drawn to high-status cars and to break traffic laws.

In the 1640s, the Dutch inhabitants of New Amsterdam built a 12-foot wall to protect the city. In 1664, the British bypassed the wall and took the city by the sea. The area is now called New York. They took down the wall and built a street now known as Wall Street

And, finally, it’s never too late to follow your dreams. Romanian ruler, Vlad The Impaler, didn’t start impaling people until his thirties!

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[dorefasolsido]

40.

Do you ever wonder how Atheist people raise their kids?

I mean, just normal? I was raised by an atheist and an agnostic, I guess the only difference is that they never really taught me about religion whatsoever, so when I was asked in school which faith I identify with, I had no idea what to say. But they never told me I can't read the Bible if I wanted to (only read part of the kids' one tho), and we still celebrated Christmas and Easter like everyone else. Tbh, hearing about some people's experiences with growing up in religious households, I'm glad mine wasn't like that.

If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not?

I'm more of an agnostic, but if I ever had kids (which I don't want to), I'd raise them like my parents raised me. They can explore on their own, I can answer some questions, and that's it. I won't push anything onto them, especially not something I don't really believe in either.

How long does it usually take you to finish answering a survey?

Depends, I'm done with some in ten minutes, others in half an hour or more.

Do you spell it gray or grey?

Usually grey, but depends if I'm using American or British spelling.

If you make surveys, how do you decide about its title?

I don't.

When are you going back to school?

I'm done with school.

If you don’t go to school anymore, what do you do?

I work, attend German classes, deal with the crushing reality of everyday existence. As everyone else.

Do you care about other people’s status messages?

Hmmm where? I can only check those now on WhatsApp, and yes, I do that. I'm too nosey not to.

Do you like reading self help books?

Nah, it's just not for me.

What is your opinion on sex change?

Those who want it should go for it, I'm glad such options exist for trans people.

Do you think that this will take away the essence of gay pride?

I have no clue what this means, tbh, but the answer is probably no.

What do you do when you tell a really bad joke?

I laugh at myself and give myself a highfive while others all sigh and groan.

If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you?

It's not important and I think the whole concept and discussion around it is stupid. Like, I'd just get rid of that whole idea entirely. It seriously fucked with my head when a gynecologist reacted like I'm some mythical creature just because I'm over 20 and have never had sex with a man. I'm still dealing with that shame sometimes, and I'm not even attracted to men like that.

If you have lost it already, do you regret it?

As I said, it doesn't mean anything to me, so no, I wouldn't regret it. But tbh, I can't see myself in that situation, being ace and all.

Do you believe in marriage? Why or why not?

Well I mean sure, but I don't personally see that much of a point. I guess there are financial benefits and so on, but ehhh, I don't know.

Do you like having a huge group of friends or would you rather have few close friends?

A few close friends.

Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they?

Summer is far away, but I'd like to travel somewhere, I guess.

Or do you plan on getting a summer job? Or do you already have one?

I have a job--not just a summer one.

If so, where do you work and what do you do?

Content writing and translating.

Do you watch the TV Show Skins? If so, who’s your favorite character?

I don't.

And which generation do you prefer? Or do you equally love both?

Refer to the above.

Do you know someone who still typpe thiszz wayy?

Has anyone ever typed that way?

Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)?

Well I didn't--it's not exactly a common thing to do here, but I think it's not bad. Like, if you can afford it, why not travel a bit before college?

Do you feel tired after stretching?

Not normally.

Can you get a strike at bowling?

I did a few times. Beginner's luck!

Do you use Facebook? If so, what is your favorite application there?

I don't use it anymore.

It seems like everyone’s addicted to Twitter these days - are you?

Nope. I'm barely ever on there.

[afromediterraneanmenace]

Homi Bhabha, in “Of Mimicry and Man: The Ambivalence of Colonial Discourse” theorizes mimicry occurs when people of a colonialized society imitate and take on the culture of the colonizer. This mimicry is imperfect, forming the gap between the colonizer and colonized. With this gap comes subversion, resistance—and anxiety for the colonizer. In this way, it can be seen as form of Cultural Cannibalism, the colonizer imposing upon the colonized, leading to erasure, distortion.

Cultural Cannibalism is the process and act of a dominant culture appropriates, absorbs, and assimilates elements from a subordinated, or colonized culture, often erasing the original context and significance of these elements. They can involve aspects such as language, traditions, clothing, cuisine, music, and other forms of cultural expression.

In a conversation with lovely friend Dean, a Central Asian artist, I used the coined the term to describe white Russians wearing the cultures of the ethnic groups they’ve colonized (and terrorized). I replied, “It feels like a form of Cultural Cannibalism to which they replied, “Cultural Cannibalism, that’s like, the perfect word for it.”. Cultural Cannibalism is a metaphor that emphasizes the predatory and destructive nature of this form of cultural appropriation. A dominant culture consumes, feasts traits of the marginalized culture. Cannibals, consuming other human beings.

During Cultural Cannibalism, the dominant culture often reinterprets and redefines the appropriate elements to create its own colonized chimera. This leads to the erasure of a culture’s meanings, and the marginalization of the colonized people. These further perpetuate power imbalances, contributing to the continuation of colonial ties, even after formal political decolonization.

As my Habibi, my heart, Saif a Palestinian artist, says, For Israelis in Particular, “Will claim aspects of Southwestern Asian and North African Cultures and wear it like a skin suit to further prop up their fictionalized indigeneity.” As if hoping it will become fact. As fetuses, we fight and tear away from your mother’s womb, we fight to be created. Humanity is terrifying.

Humans do horrific things, they cannibalize one another.

Unlike the birth of children, the birth of Israel is like that of a parasite, consuming its indigenous host.

The Host, being Palestine, a nation known as the Holy Land.

Israeli colonization began in the late 19th century, and with it emerged the Zionist movement. Seeking to establish a colonial homeland in Palestine, leading to the holocaust, Nakba, and the established apartheid State of Israel in 1948. The cultural cannibalism in Israel can be found even housing, the demolition, or seizures of Palestinian homes. This bloodshed led to the displacement of Palestinian people and the appropriation of their lands and resources.

For the past 70+ years, Israel has terrorized and tortured Palestinian people. They’ve been committing crimes since my grandparents were alive. Sex Crimes against men, women, and children—the persecution and murders of gay Palestinians. Even the recent even that have gone for over 40 days, the world has seen bombing of ancient Palestinian buildings, places of worship. Families wiped out. Men, women, and children trapped under rubble. Human beings you see one minute, murdered the next. Others imprisoned, detained, humiliated, starved—put in jail without of trails—although, Israeli officials will tell it’s all, alleged. Israeli and the UN love using that word, alleged, that the word should be used with caution.

But if not a genocide, then what is it?

It is a crime again humanity if you do not see those people as humans.

Perhaps, they become beasts they mimic.

“That’s why Palestinians are considered the cockroaches of the world,” a Florida lawyer, Bruce Raticoff remarked, “Burn them to the ground.”—or, the pro-Israel cartoonist, tweeting a picture depicting a IDF (Israeli Defense Forces) boot crushes a roach meant to be a Palestinian cockroach with the caption, “This!”—or was it parallels to Nazi propaganda that depicted their enemies, people of Jewish, Slavic, Rromani, and African descent as bacteria, cockroaches, rats, pigs, apes, dogs.

But that would only come from someone genocidal back by military aid from world powers, right, the ones committing genocides?

Making Zionism, not a Jewish birthright, but a white supremacist movement?

Ah, I digress.

Israel as a concept, is devoid of culture. Even that of Ashkenazim, who have wonderful cultural dishes like Ptcha and Knishes and dances such as Horah and Terkisher. From that grows a delusion, that consumes. Perhaps that could be why they’ve appropriated dishes like Falafel, as national Israeli dishes despite them predating Israel’s birth as well as the traditional dance of Palestine, Dabke. Like noted with falafels, Israeli’s cultural appropriation and cultural cannibalism extend beyond its initial host. Dishes like hummus, shawarma, and couscous, have been rebranded as Israeli. Cultural Artifacts, predating Israel, have been stolen and displayed in Museums with out acknowledge of their origin. This, act itself is an attempt to obscure, to erase Palestinian history. The Keffiyeh, seen as of resistance and piece traditional Palestinian clothing, has been met with a similar fate.

(Moretz, Cultural cannibalism: A study of Israeli and Russian colonization 2023)

[zombies-aliens]

I had a very weird encounter with this gay dude in his like 40s or something. I'm assuming he's gay because of his mannerisms it was very feminine. Happened at around 6:07 lasted for about a good 5 minutes or longer can't honestly tell the duration of it. But I was working and the guy came up me, he asked me if he could get a basket, and holy fuck thinking back this is how this weird fuck was trying to get me alone, he had a bread with him like one of those french breads that are long, and he asked me if I could get a basket for him so I told him yeah I can help you, as I was walking with him he fucking started asking me weird questions real quick. This guy asked for my name, which is not the weird part, asked for my last name, which now realizing I told him makes me uncomfortable, and then that's when he asked me personal questions like when I lost my virginity, and my dumbass self was answering thinking this is gonna be a short conversation.. dude I swear I'm a dumbass. He was talking about sex he was using the word fucking instead of sex which isn't scary to me in itself but I was uncomfortable because it was at work and he's asking me these weird ass questions about my virginity, how many times I've had sex, what I do if I'm horny... wtf..

And I changed the subject and asked if he still needed a basket and he said yeah so I told him I'll get him one, im trying to leave the conversation and get to my work, and this weirdo follows me out the store with his bread and I told him to wait because he can't walk out with his bread and his dumbass put it in the recycle bin, takes it out, then puts it on the side on some random shit. I'm weird out at this point bc idk why the tf he needs to be out with me but I know why now. He wanted to seduce me or some shit idfk. But he gave me pedophile vibes because I know I look young, and I know people see me as young, just the other day a lady told me I look 17. So whatever this guy was planning wasn't good I mean no fucking shit tho but. This guy was idk man he grosses me out, I think he's a rapist or something.

Once this sicko asked me how big I am.. I went tf inside the store. We were standing by the carts where we have them outside by the doors, with a camera that I'm sure saw the whole thing but idk if it has audio recording, and well once he asked me how big I am, I went inside I told him I have to get back to work, I heard him say noo, and I turned my back and walked away inside this mofo is following me inside but there's security guy next to me and I stood next to him, and I stayed with him until he went away, the security guy didn't know what was going on but stood there and I'm glad he did, and I'm glad he was there. This fuck switched up and asks about a regular basket just trying to repeat the same scenario. Asking me stupid questions, and eventually he went away. I told the security guy what happened he understands little English so we used Google translator, and I told him what happened by the carts outside. He told me to tell him to fuck off next time, and honestly I felt like a bitch man. Because I was so scared. I'm not saying he meant to make me feel that way, I know the security guy we say hi and dap each other up, he's a friendly good guy. I took my lunch right after and idk what to do I have to speak my mind and talk about this like what the fuck just happened 😐. I'm fine though, I mean I'm shaken up by it but man I got away at least. But still man. I was scared and he probably knew. Maybe that's why he was so persistent. I was showing weakness. I'm sorry I'm just trying to process all of this. I can't believe I was talking to a guy who was probably trying to fucking r word me.

[mirellasblogs-blog]

“Questions for wild experiences"

1-Do I like it when someone brushes against me in a crowded place?

2-Would you like to engage in a BDSM relationship?

3-Would you sleep with someone else to pay off your spouse's debt?

4-What would you do if your partner cheated on you, seek revenge or break up?

5-Would you kiss someone else in front of your partner?

6-How many people have you kissed so far?

7-Do you watch incest videos?

8-I have no feelings or physical experiences, so I cannot comment on how I would feel about sleeping with two men.

9-How does it feel to have a gay spouse?

10-Do you flirt with someone of the opposite sex when you are with your partner in different settings?

11-Send a special photo to someone you don't know and share their reaction with me

12-Throughout your life, do you want to have sex with only one penis/vagina, or would you try different relationships?

13-What do you think about those who cheat on their spouses, do you think it's a need or betrayal?

14-What do you think about cuckold relationships?

15-Would you sleep with someone else within your husband's consent?

16-Do you want your husband to watch you in a cuckold relationship?

17-Would you engage in a relationship with a transvestite?

18-What are your favorite toys?

19-What do you think about swinger relationships?

20-Send a photo to anyone and tell them to do a tribute

21-Go crazy and send a nude photo to the last person in the photo you shared and see their reaction

22-Make a confession about a relationship.

23-Do you like it when the eyes on the street watch you?

24-How would you react if your spouse's friend touched you while sleeping with your spouse?

25-Meet the courier with the door half-open with your partner.

26-Would you prefer a mature man who knows how to make love or a young man?

27-Take a walk on the street with your husband in a short skirt and show him how other men desire you

28-Would you sell photos or lingerie to strangers?

29-Are you a lesbian, do you have the courage to engage in lesbian acts in front of your husband?

30-Have you ever considered creating content on platforms like OnlyFans, and would you do it for money or for pleasure?

31-What does it mean to you for others to look at your body?

32-Is it 30 minutes with a Black person or 10 minutes with your partner?

33-Would you prefer mature women or young women?

34-If you saw your mother cheating on your father, what would you do?

35-Do you want to have a relationship with someone who gives you pleasure or with the person you love?

36-If you had a second male preference, would you cheat or would you share this with your partner?

37-Do you want a woman to fuck you with a strapon?

38-Would you share photos and videos with your spouse on private platforms?

39-What does it mean to you if your partner looks at other girls' or guys' photos, is it a reason for a fight?

40-Every woman wants to have sex with a different man, do you agree with this?

41-Have you ever made money by video chatting?

42-What do you think about women who share daring photos of themselves in bikinis and swimsuits?

43-Do you use drugs and have sex?

44-"Would you like to connect?"

45-Would you accept marrying a divorced person?

46-What position would you recommend to someone who wants to have sex with you?

47-Have you ever shared explicit photos on Tumblr, or do you plan to?

48-Would you bring third parties into your relationship to help shape it? Do you lean more towards men or women in your preference?

49-Would you like to watch your husband with another woman?

50-Are you looking for someone experienced in lovemaking or someone inexperienced?

51-Would you prefer to sleep with three men separately or together?

52-Would you prefer to sleep with the man you love or the man who makes you orgasm?

53-Who was the first man you kissed?

54-If you were being raped, would you try to find pleasure in it or try to escape?

55-Would you have a relationship with a celebrity you admire?

#Questionanswer #Relationship #Emotion

[tchaikovskym]

RuPaul's Drag Race review

Watched because my friend recced me it and boy am I glad I did start watching it. It is going to be very hard to review because it has 15 seasons, but man, let's go.

Captivation: 7/10. Really depends on the episode, but overall I'm pretty invested in what's going on.

Chemistry between hosts: 10/10. i am talking about Ru and Michelle. They feel like really old friends who have been through a lot and just have a general understanding of one another. Of course, Michelle wasn't there at the first seasons, but I think she's at the core of rpdr now.

Set: 10/10. The girls have a pretty pink workroom, lounge area, there is a pretty stage and judges panel and it's just. Muah.

Humor: 6/10. The best jokes come from the contestants, but sometimes it can be so horrendously stupid, it is not funny anymore. I mean fart and sex jokes, like c'mon guys.

Challenges: 10/10. In all 15 years of it, they have managed to keep me excited about challenges. Some have become a tradition, like the snatch game, but they're also adding something, taking something and playing with the concept. One of the reasons why I love rpdr is because of how different the challenges are. The queens really have to do it all - model, design, sew, sing, dance, choreograph, act, write and so much more! It is always fun to watch.

Contestants: 10/10. All of them are funky little drag queens, from different backgrounds, with different stories, with different personalities and all loving drag.

Goal: 8/10. Pretty cool that they're representing drag, and lgbt+ community with it. However, it's still showbiz babey and you can tell.

Overall score: 8.7

If you like pretty looks and gays, go for it.

P.S. the new 40 minute format of season 15 is awful, they're skipping so much 🥲