#5. this pic I actually took this morning! it was like 7:30 (the time I usually leave for work) I was walking to my car . looked up and was

[apricotluvr]

Feb 2023 🫶🏼

[literatureatthebowofnails]

Earth to Duchess by Admiral at the Bow of Nails

Disclaimer: No one owns Loki; he’s just a hot pain in my sass. No one owns Thor. I don’t own Marvel, Viacom, SHIELD, Darcy Lewis, Drs Erik Selvig and Jane Foster or Marvel's interpretation of an Einstein-Rosen bridge. Mythological similarities are mostly coincidental

A/N: Part 1 of the Sigyn Timeline of the Duchess Series, (find masterlist here)! This part directly follows Chapter 7. Still looking for a beta for future chapters, so if you’re interested, hit me up

Series Warnings: Loki/fem!reader. Reader has nickname and backstory but no physical description. Language; fluff; smut: vaginal intercourse (m/f), panty theft, masturbation, cunnilingus, fingering, public nudity; drinking; seismophobia. Warnings will be added as the series goes on. I’m considering adding additional pairings with other characters. Let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in.

Series Summary: This series begins during Thor (2011) and generally follows along that plot. After Loki’s visit to the SHIELD encampment, the timeline branches

Timeline Warnings: Pregnancy, torture, Odin being his usual shitty self

Timeline Summary: This timeline follows the Sacred Timeline through the end of Thor (2011), at which point you're stranded on Asgard until the end of Avengers/beginning of Dark World

Chapter Warnings:

Chapter Summary: You prepare for your next trip to Asgard and catch up on what's been going on in Puente Antiguo

Word Count: 661

Midgard

On your bed you find the PJs you were wearing when you arrived in Jötunheimr. Everything is clean and neatly folded. Notably, your panties remain missing.

After taking extra care to pack half your lingerie and consumable necessities, you place the bag on your alter, asking “Um…could you get these to Asgard when you have a chance?”

“Of course, darling,” the bag vanishes and you jump. That’s going to take some getting used to.

You pour yourself another cup of tea and change your clothes, hanging your overdress and cloak, then tossing the underdress on the dry clean pile. The kransen and broaches are carefully placed with your jewelry collection.

You make a mental note to repot your rootbound plants in the morning if you’re still here, then pickup your phone to respond to Darcy.

Darc’

Darc’ 12:51 PM: A bunch of guys from something called Shield came and stole all our equipment

Darc’ 12:52 PM: WTF?! They took my ipod! I just downloaded 30 songs onto it. Damnit

Darc’ 1:41 PM: Jane left. Apparently decided to take Thor (hella cut homeless guy) to get Meyu-meh. He says it’s a hammer

Me 11:47 PM: Hey, sorry for not responding earlier. I didn’t have my phone on me. Any word from Jane?

Me 11:48 PM: You’re not going to believe this, but I’ve been with Thor’s brother for the last 24-ish hours

Darc’ 11:52 PM: He has a brother? How do you know his brother?

Darc’ 11:53 PM: Selvig thinks he’s crazy. Are you sure this is the same guy?

Me 11:54 PM: We’re definitely talking about the same person. I saw Thor last night

You pause, wondering how exactly you’re going to explain how you ended up in Jötunheimr, or how you know Loki for that matter. You comb your nails up your scalp and realize you forgot to pack hairbands, “Shoot.” You get up and put about 20 hair ties on your wrists. That should hold you over until the next time you get back.

Darc’

Me 5-3-11 12:15 AM: I’ve been having these weird dreams for a while. I thought they were just dreams until last night

Me 12:16 AM: Thor’s brother, Loki, was always in them. Last night I woke up (and I know how crazy this sounds) in Jötunheimr. Not Norway. A completely different planet or universe or something

Me 12:18 AM: Loki and Thor and some other Asgardians were there. Loki took me to Asgard. He just got me home a few hours ago

Me 12:20 AM: Actually, the Bifrost (this rainbow bridge we used to get back) left some interesting markings on the street. I’ll go down and take a pic. They look like something Jane would be into

Me 12:25 AM:

Darc’ 12:25 AM: Yea, that’s how Thor got here. Thanks for the pic. It’s the only piece of evidence we’ve got now that stupid Shield took all our stuff

Me 12:27 AM: No problem

Me 12:31 AM: Loki should be there in a few hours. Hopefully the five of you will be able to work something out with Shield and get Thor settled on Earth

Me 12:33 AM: Loki’s trying to keep things stable politically, but I can tell he misses his brother

Me 12:34 AM: I’m going to crash soon. I might end up over there or in Asgard or wherever Loki is. I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose, but I keep teleporting if I’m asleep when he’s upset

Me 12:38 AM: At least that’s the common denominator so far. Anyway, rest has been hard to come by

Me 12:39 AM: If you don’t hear from me for a few days, it’s most likely Asgard, but I’m sure Loki and Heimdall will get me home as soon as they can

Darc’ 12:40 AM: Ok, get some sleep. I might see you in a few hours. Let me know when you’ve got your phone next

Me 12:40 AM: Will do

Next chapter here.

[shananigans402]

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2. 

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!​

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady. 

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated? 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations. 

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone. 

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer. 

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

[morning-mist-ery]

A few lil fun facts about me! ☺️

1. Museum date or aquarium date? Museum, please!

2. Describe your favorite type of weather. ⛈

3. Name a subject/topic you know a lot about. Film 🎬

4. Do you have any friends or know anyone with the same name as you? Nope! We unique over here ☺️

5. What’s something most people love that you hate? Raisins or Peanut Butter 🗑

6. Who knows the most about you personally? Yogz 🐻

7. If you could create ANY mix-up or mythical animal and have it be brought to life, what would it be? A handsome, financial stable AND faithful man 😅 (this was someone else’s answer but shiiiid, it works! 😂)

8. Do you think everyone in our lives serves a purpose, or are some people just there? Hmmm, I’ma say everyone has a purpose. Some people are definitely there tho to teach you the hard lessons, and show you what you don’t need or want.

9. How do you feel about getting your picture taken? HATE IT! I am the least photogenic person I know.

10. Any guilty pleasure/s? Voyeurism 😏

11. Do you always make eye contact with people when you’re speaking to them? Nah, not always. I do tend to look away if I’m nervous or anxious.

12. Have you ever self-harmed? No, I haven’t. Have friends who did, so I encourage anyone who does it to seek the help you need to overcome it.

13. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given? Hmm, I actually can’t think of one specific compliment that stands out.

14. Have you felt butterflies in your stomach today? Lol, yea this morning 🙃

15. Did anyone/anything get on your nerves today? Not yet, but I know he will eventually 🙄 #ykwya

16. Is there something you currently want, that you can’t have? Yes, a few things 😩

17. Who was the last person to make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable? Yogz. Stays embarrassing tf out of me lol😫

18. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favorite character in it? Spies in Disguise. The lil female pigeon

19. What are you known for? Being an asshole 🤷🏽‍♀️

20. What is something you are skeptical about? The moon landing. Like, why they ain’t gone back?

21. If you have a job, do you prefer morning shifts or evening shifts? Morning

22. What is something you are most confident about? My creativity and ideas

23. How about something you're really insecure about? My weight. A bish tryna be thick out here, but my metabolism won’t let me be great 🙄

24. What do you think in general of girls with short hair? What about guys with long hair? Love to see it! They be fine af with the short cuts. For guys, long, thick flowing hair looks nice. Love locs, especially if they are freshly retwisted!

25. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or a subtitle? Subtitles. I wanna hear the original languages. Might learn a thing or two.

26. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? MAC. Don’t really wear makeup like that so I only got like the basics. 🤷🏽‍♀️

27. What part of a person's body do you usually find the most attractive? Face

28. What/which music are you currently listening to? All My Love- Sabrina Claudio ft. Wale

29. Do you find smoking unattractive? Cigarettes, yea. Too much weed until it affects the person’s looks, yup!

30. What was the last thing you looked up on Google? Studio Ghibli films

31. What is the 10th picture in your phone gallery? A pic of me and one of my main bishes

32. Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? Lol been there, done that

33. What job would you be terrible at and what job would you be good at? Being someone’s assistant and film producer

34. Do you think forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something? To an extent, yes. Because although you might try to move on, I think resentment and pain will grow and linger if some form of forgiveness isn’t done.

35. What did you think was cool when you were younger? My sense of fashion. I cringe when I look back at old pics of myself 😂

36. Is there a place that makes you sad to return to? Grandma’s house 🌹🕊

37. What's the best advice anyone has ever given you? Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

38. Have you ever treated someone badly just because someone else treated you badly? Ashamedly, yes 😞

39. What's your favorite lyric from your favorite song right now? Actually don’t have a fave lyric at the moment

40. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? 🚀

41. Is it true that if you can't love yourself, you can't love another? Yup, at least I believe so

42. What's the most positive thing you could say to yourself right now? “You got this! Don’t give up on your dreams no matter what! “

43. What time of the day feels the most magical to you? There’s something about breathing in fresh air at sunrise 🌅

44. Were you a cute baby? Lol I sure was! Bald head and all 😂

45. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for, but never did? Yea 😞

46. What is any creative talent you wish you had? So many, but I wish I could play music and dance lol

47. Do you think you'd make a good teacher? Yup, I love teaching actually!

48. Do you think it's possible to fix a "broken" relationship? It’s definitely possible, but both parties have to be willing and committed to do so.

49. If you chose to get a tattoo what would it be and where would you want it? Don’t know what it would be, but I’d want it down the center of my back.

50. When was the last time you stayed up past midnight and what were you up to? Last night and work 🙄

[engelkeijsers]

Hi! What are your favourite scenes from Skam Italia?

ohh there are LOTS of, but my absolute faves are (in almost chronological order):

1) eva and eleonora's first meeting; the gay tension was REAL in this one

2) in episode three i think?? when ele saw the drama (?) kids talking to eva on the corridor and decided to rescue her by fake crying and just yelling, i LOVED that clip

3) the scene when silvia was supposed to have her first time with edoardo and the same night eva's mom was supposed to meet gio, so after the bell rang she opened the door and saw edo, she just assumed it was eva's boyfriend. I WAS HOLLERING. and edo's "what the fuck" killed me omg

4) eleonora telling edoardo off after he offended and made fun of silvia in front of the villa boys. in this scene i could actually tell that ele caught edo's attention and he really got intrested (yes i'm looking at some other remakes rn), especially after he looked back with *that* smile when she was leaving

5) when marti told eva that gio doesn't want to speak to her and she broke down in tears,, it HURT hurt

6) when she was mad at gio and went to that beautiful place saying she needed some space and he immediately found her, took a pic of her back and sent it to her

7) it might seem like a really casual clip, but it just really got to my heart for some reason. i'm talking about when edo saw eva running to school and offered her a ride and then when she acceoted, asked her about eleonora (but not in a pushy way, just casual). i can't explain but it's one of my absolute faves.

7) gioeva break up. only eva x jonas (besides hanna and jonas) i really ship so it was really hard to watch them split.

8) MARTINO, GUARDAMI MARTINO

9) the voicemail's opening season 2. ICONIC.

10) gio and martino's hug in the bus + their interaction in the morning. yes i'm counting that as one, don't ask why cause i myself don't have an answer for that

11) nicotini's first meeting. do i really need to say more?

12) marti and nico spending some time together at nico's apartment, especially the sofa stares (i know you know what i'm talking about). you could really tell they were falling for each other.

13) nico spitting up the carbonara and martini's face expression right after. again, don't ask

14) volleyball practice clip. marti's gay panic, nico's nervous look at him and the squad and then lying for him, elia and gio's immiediate knowing look at each other, luchino getting punched by a ball. perfection.

15) the bike ride

16) NICCOTINO'S FIRST KISS

17) the cuddle clip obviously + the red thread clip (again, counting them as one)

18) elia and giovanni being little shits at gym class to this level that mr boccia had to swap them up with someone else lmao

19) FILI'S SPEACH TO MARTINO OH MY GOD

20) argentina!clip aka when the boys were getting ready to covitti's party; luchino's weird food, elia tasting it, giovanni looking at martino and just knowing something is wrong, elia calling galvani, boys fooling around while getting ready, them taking a mirror pic and the song in the background that somehow suited the whole sequence so well

21) the party clip and boy's fight. i hate to love it so much, honestly

22) marti going to dr spera's office for the first time

23) MARTI COMING OUT TO GIOVANNI !!!

24) whole episode 7 of season 2

25) share the love clip

26) conteabbandieri going to dr spera's office together

27) ohg clip

28) the morning after ohn clip, they were sk cute and happy to be with each other in this one 🥺

29) the whole christmas sequence

okay,, season 3 and 4 i onky watched once for now, so it won't be as much as from the first two, but my absolute favorite's are:

30) ele and edo's first date/meeting (whatever she choose to call it)

31) every ele x filo scene

32) martino confessing eva that he knew giovanni was dating sofie since the weekend before or so

33) all of the clips from when ele went tk edo's party and she got stuck there

34) i will never hurt you clip

35) when she was "ill" so he cleaned up her room and wrote the radio thing for her and the ine after she woke up

36) the clip in which she told him herself what happened between her and his brother

37) THE SPECTRUM CLIP OMG LITERAL PERFECTION

38) whole last episode if the season

39) literally every marti x sana clip we got in her season, but especially the bench talk clip!!

40) somebody that i used to know clip

41) sana making up with the girls

42) sana and malik's talk about religion

43) hide and seek scene

44) and SO MUCH MORE THAT I SUDDENLY DON'T REMEMBER

45) every clip from the last episode, EVERY CLIP

ooff this came out wayy longer than i planned, sorry lmao

[mummabearsmusings]

ALL MY OTHER POSTS AND A BIG UPDATE.

My ex got residency three years ago and I got contact supervised by my family, or a few named agreed friends.

This was due to ongoing concerns from.my ex and members of his family, concerns they echoed for months, but never shared them with me, or my doctor, just with the nursery my cub was at.

These allegations, I still don't know what they were, but they were serious enough for social services to visit, once and decided that I had made mistakes because I was unwell, and that whatever those were they were completely unintentional (absent minded human errors, nothing serious, but got reported as safeguarding concerns)

Supervision lasted for 18 months, because it was up to him to decide when my time increased and my supervision decreased. That meant my mum had to sleep on my sofa almost every weekend for a year, my mum who has diabetes type 2, fibromyalgia and asthma which he knew about and when she didn’t my sister did. My sister who has two children of her own, both with additional needs, which he also knew about but we weren't allowed there..we weren't allowed to stay out anywhere besides my dads unless he gave permission, said so on the order. Wasn't allowed to take him on a playdate without it either, because there was four people named additionally on our order that were allowed to "supervise" me. It wasn't fun but I didn’t have a choice because his barrister had worded the court order so beautifully for the resident parent. I reapplied to court after 13 months of that order being in place, requesting supervision is gone and we have shared care and that the judge will give me permission to take him abroad and give me access to his passport that I applied and paid for..but they could only send to resident parent unless they had something from them in writing it could he sent to another address. He initially said he was too young, he may panic, he may get lost, someone may knock me over/out and snatch him, he may get sick, it might hurt his ears. He remembered and put in his statements that on our last holiday abroad that my nieces and little cousins got up to dance and no adult followed.I was 30 weeks pregnant.. so our child wasn't even born yet. I offered once he confirmed i could be unsupervised and finally have him over midweek sometimes meaning I could finally take him to school on my own that I would be happy to have him all three late shifts he worked each week but he had it covered almost always because of the fact he moved back to the family home and his mums a childminder so he had childcare sorted when he was working and it wasn’t my time. I originally got him one afternoon a week until 6, three weekends out of four Friday from 3 til sunday at 6 and half of all hols. That one afternoon was up to him because I wasn't working and he worked shifts on a rota so flexibility was key.   But meant it wasn’t often the same afternoon each week to begin with..then it mostly became thursdays which meant football training 6 til 7, so again I offered and asked if he could just stay here after and instead I was to drop him off after training (usually about half 7) After he confirmed I could be unsupervised and have alternate contact on his weekends he also allowed 6 to be extended to 7. Before he confirmed I could have him alternate time, every month for over a year it meant I had no contact with him for up to 9 days at a time Last year due to the way his annual leave went I didn't see him from last week of summer hols until his first morning back at school. That was 12 days of no contact. It took another 13 months to get a first hearing. In that time I chose to do three parenting courses, a first aid refresher, two Surrey adult learning courses and a second round of CBT. In that time I also volunteered as a parent helper at his school and joined the PTA and was heavily involved. I began training (studying/volunteering in another primary school as a teaching assistant) and I qualified last year. I am not back volunteering at either school because no non  paid members of staff can be on the premises. I fought back.I will always fight back I will always fight for what I think is right..and fair..and i will fight to be that boys mum. My mh was no concern to any medical professionals. Never had been but never got to exhibit that to the judge the first time. This time I did,plus added all my course certificates etc. In March I was given 50/50 joint residency, so every week since (bar the last four weeks of summer) I have had him from thursday to sunday. Some weeks I will have him weds to saturday. It’s his dad’s weekend off, normally he is working because the weekend he books off is our sons birthday, for the first time since he moved out he has also had his own birthday off work Our son is now 8. Despite all our clashes etc we have spent every birthday with him, just us three, the previous two years we even managed to throw birthday parties together..and we have spent every Christmas morning together too, because it makes the kid happy and both of us don't want to miss out, so we choose to share..he then gets family time still..we're not a family anymore but we're his. He pointed that out to me when he was 5 and it's always stuck in my mind All I want is the kid to be happy so if spending time with my ex makes him happy then crack on. Our son hero worships him and he is a brilliant attentive loving dad. They adore each other. Just like our son loves me loads as well. He's such a great kid Smart. Kind. Funny. Sassy. Very loving. His happiness will always come first..when he's older no doubt his wishes and feelings will change..but for now if the kid wants us both birthday and Christmas morning he's got us both. Here. I have to just deal with the current situation by letting him "win"  But the reason I am doing the Freedom Programme again is because I need to learn how to have boundaries, set them and stick to them. I am very much the fawn response.   I need help with the boundary thing.  As I mentioned above we have always shared our son’s birthday, plus christmas eve and morning, this time he didnt even ask if he could stay at mine He’s just invited himself round. It was the status quo before because the first year I still had to be supervised and that night it could only have been by him. I have 0 issue with him coming here first thing nor coming over christmas morning til half12 if that's what our son wants to keep happening. I would rather we share than either of us miss out but he didn’t even ask me if he was okay to stay, I'm more than happy for our son to see us both on his birthday and to have him here for a while but I don't want him staying here anymore. It sets my anxiety rocketing but I'm never going to let either of them know that or you know it's going to go against me My family don't think he should set foot in here at night time ever saying I can't trust him not to go through my stuff, to start taking pics, to take or hide other stuff, or to try and pull something else to mess with my head.  I'm well aware he doesn't love me. I'm not in love with him any more. I'm not ready to meet anyone or hook up with anyone else yet it’s having a boundary knowing it can backfire I dont want to miss any of his birthday either. But if he had his own place I'd have happily gone over in the morning, hell I'd have even bought bloody bacon sandwiches over ykno I've done fp twice prior to the 50/50 I want it because I need to figure out how to set those boundaries. Grey rock isn’t an option for me. Because my respectful amicable texts are what the solicitor said are like my trump card when I applied to vary. Done three parenting courses. My problem is I will fake it for our son’s sake, there has been nothing I haven't agreed to if it makes him happy. I can have my own life and make my own choices when he is bigger but now that smile is worth all the discomfort and to be honest with you when its just the three of us it's so easy going and it feels real. I see a genuine smile when our son and I are playing.. or a genuine one from me when they are. Like true co-parenting. There isn't a former. I met him when he was 21. I am the only person he ever bought home. The first and only girlfriend. I just feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't but I will do anything for that boy regardless of other people's opinions, including my own So do I just need to suck it up? Am I wrong? People say to me you meet someone they won't tolerate you spending time with your ex..well I'm sorry but if our son wants to spend some time with his mum and dad then I will do it for him and if the person I meet doesn’t understand that then they don’t understand me, or how much I love my child. I feel awful sometimes for complaining because he has never raised his hand to me.   I feel like I am not worthy. But I totally know emotional and psychological abuse is just as horrendous and that my experience is as valid as everyone else's if you get what I mean.   I actually have a few good friends now and a few weekends ago my son was invited to a friends to play out, their mums were all having a laugh and including me and even shared some Prosecco with me. I still feel like I'm being spied on. And I actually don't think I am any more. I need to stop panicking and just enjoy being a mum without second guessing myself. I have voiced my concerns about the status quo remaining and as per all of my feelings are invalidated by him I am trying to put a boundary in and set it down but he is refusing to acknowledge my opinion. Same thing, different day. Will it ever end? I have fought to be the best mum I can be, the best role model to my cub. I have a more structured schedule to establish a real routine with him and it means I can now make plans, try and have a life. I spent all that time grieving a living loss, all my time and energy were on fighting this, now I have I want to grieve my relationship that ended almost four years ago, by granny. I want to move on with my life, I want to like myself and eventually love myself again, I want to establish an identity again as opposed to a label. I want to move on, to try and be happy in myself, in my life. I want to be me again. I want to heal, I want to stop feeling like a sufferer and realise I am a survivor. I want to be confident, I want to go out, trust people again, I want to stop feeling like I am under a microscope and I always will be. I have made some wonderful new friends, reconnected with old ones. I want to stop being controlled. I am not a remote. I am a person. I am a mother and a bloody brilliant one. I am a great auntie, friend, daughter, granddaughter and sister and I just want to be acknowledged as a good person.  I don't want him in trouble I want to give a clean slate and draw a line in the sand. I don't want any of the bad anymore. I just want to focus purely on the good now. Why am I still not allowed to do that? Why is it not okay for me to just be me?

[spikeisawesome456]

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Uh… None, actually. I use YouTube and iTunes mostly. I have YouTube premium family (means that for $15, I get six accounts that can have YouTube Premium) so I don’t have to worry about ads and all that. 

2. is your room messy or clean? Both? I only have a thin area of my room that can have movement, since it’s so small. The majority is taken up either of my bed or my dresser/end table/storage. So the room is full of stuff, but the main area is kept clean so I can move through it, ya know? 

3. what color are your eyes? Green/blue, but mostly green. I also have brown in the center of my eyes. I guess you could call it hazel? I don’t really know what hazel eyes mean, honestly. 

Here’s a close up I took a while ago. I’m looking at you!! Ha!

... I just realized I’ve not changed at all since I was a child. :-(

4. do you like your name? why? Yep! I like it. I have a long, more formal name (Katherine) but also a shorter, more informal nickname (Katie). I like this dynamic of my name. I also like how it sounds. Both of them. <3 

5. what is your relationship status? Single, but okay with that. I’m starting to think I’m aro, as I don’t… ahh, like people? Much? It’ complicated. 

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less Very, very, annoying. 

7. what color hair do you have? I think you could call it golden?? I usually call it dirty strawberry blonde. It’s a coppery color, but also blonde. Not quite strawberry, not quite dirty. A mix? 

This is a somewhat good example, but it is a bit more copper-toned than usual, due to the light next to my computer. The kids at work ask me sometimes if I dyed my hair, since it is almost completely orange on the badge my work printed for me, aha. But this shows the range of colors my hair goes through. 

8. what kind of car do you drive? color? Ha! What, you think I’m a functioning adult? I don’t know how to drive. 

9. where do you shop? Literally anywhere? I don’t care. I get my pants from Walmart, my shirts from wherever sells cute fandom shirts. 

10. how would you describe your style? Ha!!! I answered this one in an ask, but I determined I have no style. I just prefer comfort to fashion. 

11. favorite social media account Hm… I don’t tend to care much for social media accounts, personally at least. I just follow whatever is neat. I guess I like Game Grumps social media?? Eh. 

12. what size bed do you have? Twin. It’s pressed up against the wall and I just sleep pressed into the corner like I’m trying to merge and become one with the wall. One day, sweet wall……..

13. any siblings? Sadly, yes. _._ An older brother. He’s actually fine, but still siblings...

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Probably…. Hm. I liked New Zealand when I visited, but I don’t know if it would be the best place for me to live, since it’s just so different to how I live now. Same with Ireland, though both would be amazing for me. I think… honestly, where I currently live, since it has good weather and is familiar to me. 

15. favorite snapchat filter? Don’t use snapchat! :-D 

16. favorite makeup brand(s) Hm… I used to only use Bare Minerals, but they don’t have great coverage, I’ve found. I’ve been using Clinique now, but I think they make me break out, which is bad. I don’t like makeup and I always feel it on my skin, or else it makes me break out after usage. I have very sensitive skin, ya feel me?

17. how many times a week do you shower? Never! I hate showers. I don’t like the feel of being blind when the water gets into my eyes.

I take a bath twice a day, though. Once in the morning and once at night, where I wash my hair. I know I’m not supposed to wash my hair so often, but it’s a habit at this point and it helps me sleep now.

18. favorite tv show? Buffy the Vampire Slayer, mostly since it was so important to me growing up. I still love it, though! I just don’t tend to have favorites, ya know? But Buffy will always mean the most to me. 

19. shoe size? I don’t… I don’t really know? Heels I’m a size 8, I think? But I wear size 9.5 for sneakers, since I like my shoes a bit big. I think??? I don’t really know. 

20. how tall are you? Ehhhhhhhh I say I’m 5’4, but who knows. I think I’m 5’3 and a half. I just round up. According to my doctor’s records I shrank and am 5’2, so who even knows anymore. Height is a made-up concept to control the short. ;-)

21. sandals or sneakers? Sneakers, god. I wore sandals once for a fancy event and I got sand and dirt on my feet immediately. It was sad. :-(

22. do you go to the gym? HA!

23. describe your dream date I don’t really know. As I said, possibly aro. Maybe…… Uh…. Somewhere quiet. Private. I’m not good in groups or crowds. OR! Maybe a theme park, the absolute opposite of what I said. OR a fair. I love fairs! Anything, really. I’m not picky. 

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Oh! This one is a shock, because my dad just gave me a lot of money since I paid for dinner with my mom, since he was being an overly dramatic baby over me calling out his awful behavior and left us alone for dinner at Red Lobster, and he stubbornly paid me back. So I’ve got… let’s see… about $135, if you count the $30 I had in before. 

25. what color socks are you wearing? Ha! Jokes on you! I’m not WEARING ANY SOCKS!!!! AHA!!!!!!!

26. how many pillows do you sleep with? One. Too many makes me feel weird. 

27. do you have a job? what do you do? Well… I HAD  job, because Covid. I was an after-school teacher, where I looked after kids, kind of daycare style, ya know? I loved it, and I love kids. Currently I’m “teaching” some of the kids I used to look after STEAM over Zoom. Apparently, the girls- sisters- missed doing my STEAM experiments each week and asked their mom to contact me to do the experiments with them over Zoom. I use “teaching” in quotes, since I mostly just do science activities with them, step by step, without much teaching involved. I used to explain why what we did was science, but I don’t want to make the kids do more work when they have so much with Covid going on. Also, I’m lazy, ha. 

28. how many friends do you have? None! Seriously, but it’s okay. As I said earlier, I’m not the biggest fan of people so it’s kind of reliving to be on my own for the most part. I had been making a new friend before Covid, but we’ve not spoken much since. I did text her once and she seemed friendly still. Maybe we can meet up after this all is done with.

  29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? Uh… I don’t really know? I used to get into fights online, mostly just fighting for what I believed in, but I never really attacked anyone, or I didn’t mean to. I’ve not done many bad things?? Not to make myself out to be a goodie-two shoes, but I don’t like hurting people or being “bad,” so I tend to avoid things like that. I’ve probably done things others consider “bad,” but that don’t register to me, so I don’t really know. 

30. whats your favorite candle scent? Oh my god. I’m currently OBSESSED with this new candle from Bath and Body Works. It’s called Strawberry Pound Cake, but it smells like strawberry vanilla, and it’s AMAZING. I love it. I also have it in hand cream and hand sanitizer form and it’s THE BEST. It reminds me of those strawberry vanilla candy things from when I was a kid. 

31. 3 favorite boy names Daniel, William, and… uh… I’m not sure. Alex, maybe? I know I like Daniel and William though. 

32. 3 favorite girl names Emmaline, Clara, and… hmmm… Not sure, again. 

33. favorite actor? Hm. Not sure. I don’t do favorites much. I guess Misha Collins? If this were about YouTube people, I’d say Dan Avidan in a heartbeat. Though… technically he is an actor… he did an actual YouTube show, with a plot and acting, so he’s technically an actor. So, then, him. 

34. favorite actress? I’m even less sure about this one, honestly. I don’t pay attention to actors or actresses much, really. I know Misha since he does GISH, but otherwise I’m unsure about actors much. 

35. who is your celebrity crush? Oh, Dan Avidan, clearly. He’s amazing. My profile pic on Tumblr has been the same for 4 years because I can’t get over the fact I met him. I used to change my profile pic every so often, with my artwork, but now I’m never changing my profile pic. Ever. 

36. favorite movie?  Uh…. Probably Phantom of the Opera, 2004. I love that film. Again, not super into favorite things, but if I had to pick one it would be PotO. 

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Well, I DO read a lot. Mostly it’s fanfiction though, aha. And again, favorites aren’t really my thing. I used to say Island of the Blue Dolphins, but I reread that book a few years ago and didn’t like it as much. Still liked it but was more eh about it and never finished my read through. Maybe Stargirl, by Jerry Spinelli. I’ve not read it since I was a child, but I recall it being really good. My favorite book I’ve read recently would probably have to be Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier. I had a lot of problems with it, but ultimately, I loved that book. 

38. money or brains? Brains, obviously. They taste better. :-)

Though to be honest, I do say brains. Money is good, don’t get me wrong, but with brains the person can actually think about doing what is right or wrong. Money corrupts and without thought, there’s so way around it. 

39. do you have a nickname? what is it? Yep! Technically I only go by my nickname, since I go by Katie, but my full name is Katherine. 

40. how many times have you been to the hospital? Ooooh, personally? Once, when I broke my arm when I was 4, almost 5. Well, many times for that, but one time overall. I’ve been in the hospital often for my mom and dad, though. My mom is disabled and is a bit of a hypochondriac, so we sometimes have to take her to the hospital whenever she has pain, just to be safe. She did once have kidney stones, though, so it was needed. My dad had a panic attack once and thought it was a heart attack, so we were there for that. I also went to the hospital once when my grandma was dying, to say goodbye with my dad. It wasn’t sad, which says a lot about my and my dad’s relationship with my grandma. 

41. top 10 favorite songs HA! Can’t. Seriously, can’t. I love too many songs equally for this one.

  42. do you take any medications daily? Yeah. I used to take Seroquel nightly, but that just made me gain 40 pounds and didn’t help with mood much. It only helped me sleep and that was replaced by over the counter melatonin and Benadryl. So I gained 40 pounds for nothing and I’m struggling getting the weight off. Yay!!!!!!

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Both, I think? 

44. what is your biggest fear? Death. 

45. how many kids do you want? I don’t know, one or two? I don’t know if I want to get married though, so… Single mom for the win? I also might want to adopt older kids, or foster them at least, give them a place to live. When I’m on my own and have a stable, good paying job of course. 

46. whats your go to hair style? Whatever my hair naturally does, honestly. I just brush it out and it does its own thing. I have thin, wavy hair, though, so it’s mostly fine. It parts in the middle, and I don’t have bangs. It refuses to grow passed my boob level, no matter how long it goes between haircuts, so it hangs there. It always grows back to boob level, but never passed. No idea why. 

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) Very presumptuous, question thing, to assume I live in a house. I live in an apartment, with my mom, dad, and older brother. It’s fairly big, with two bedrooms and a converted den for my bedroom, but it’s small for 4 of us. Less then 1500 square feet. I think 1200? 

48. who is your role model? Hm. This is gonna sound conceited, but myself. Or, the person I want to be. I have an idea of what I’d like to be in life, and that is what guides me. It’s not based off anyone I’ve met, but based on my own personal desires, a mis-mesh of ideals. The only person you can be is yourself. Trying to be like someone else will only hurt you. Even wanting to be like someone else can be hurtful. Not that I’m putting down anyone who has role models! But it just… never worked for me. Putting people on pedestals hurt me, so I just look forward to being the best version of me that I can be. 

49. what was the last compliment you received? Hm… I get a lot of compliments on my Facebook page, people saying I’m doing a good job with that. So that, probably. 50. what was the last text you sent? It was too my dad, who, as previously mentioned, was being a bit of a butt and was mad at me for calling him on his rude behavior to me and my mom. I texted “alright,” to him telling me to not buy him a takeout dinner. I didn’t listen though, and he ate it when we got home after sulking a bit. He’s better now, but he’s yet to apologize. He never does. -.- 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Uh… Wait, Santa isn’t… real…?!?!?!

Aha. JK. I don’t know. Maybe 8?? I don’t remember. I just know I believed when I was 6-ish, when Polar Express came out, since I asked for Santa bells for Christmas. I think I also believed the next year, but I don’t remember much. I learned the difference between Judaism and Catholicism around then, and eventually decided to be Jewish when I was 12-ish, but who knows, man. Who knows? 

52. what is your dream car? One that self-drives and doesn’t ever crash, so I don’t have to drive myself. 

53. opinion on smoking?

Bad! Bad, bad, bad!!! No smoking!

Truthfully, honestly. My mom gets really sick around smokers, especially around pot and vape smokers. It makes her have an allergic reaction. 54. do you go to college? Yeah baby! I just finished and will be getting my (probably useless) degree in the mail soon! Summa Cum Laude, baby! (Highest honors, if you don’t know what that means). Now I just got to get into grad school so I can do something with my Psych BA! Aha. Haha. Ahahaha. Ha… 55. what is your dream job? School psychologist! I want to help children, but don’t have the temperament to be a teacher. I’m too lenient and would let them walk all over me. I kind of do as an after-school teacher. The kids respect me, though, and like me well enough. I don’t think I could be the only person responsible for them, though. I get frazzled, which I learned while doing my STEAM activities and the kids would NOT listen, sometimes. I could do it, though, if the whole school psych thing doesn’t pan out. Or school counselor, would be my second choice. Something to do with kids, though. 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Hm. I like city life, though I think I’d prefer suburbs. I live in a kind of suburb, though I live in a major city… We just don’t have skyscrapers near where I live, only downtown. We have over a million people in my city, and 3 million in the county. So, big. 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Uhm yeah??? Why wouldn’t you? They’re free souvenirs! I went to a kid-themed hotel once, near Disneyland, for my parent’s anniversary, which had this neat bubblegum shampoo from their kid spa. I loved it so much I asked my dad to buy me a whole bottle of it as a body wash. It was… expensive, but I still have some left over, which I’ve kept for some reason. 58. do you have freckles? Some, yeah. Not many on my face, just some around my arms, scattered. I have a big one on my left palm, at the base of the meat of my thumb, if that makes sense. Otherwise they’re just scattered all around. 59. do you smile for pictures? Yep! Well… my version of smiling. I don’t ever smile with my teeth, since they’re small and my lips are so long, so it looks awkward when I smile with teeth. Instead I just smile with my lips. 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? HA! I had to get myself a 164 GB phone to deal with the fact that I take lots of photos. Over 2,000, now. 61. have you ever peed in the woods? Ew? No? I hate the woods. Or, going into the woods. I like the idea of woods and I like being in them, guided, but staying in them? No. Scary. 62. do you still watch cartoons? Yep! I’m currently watching She-Ra! I like it! 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Oh, no contest. Wendy’s. I do like McDonalds’ chicken nuggets, but Wendy’s are just *chef kiss* mwah! 64. Favorite dipping sauce? Ranch, but I especially like Wendy’s ranch. It’s creamy and nice. 65. what do you wear to bed? Pretty much what I wear during the day. I used to literally just go to bed in my day clothes, before I started taking a bath each night, about 6 years ago. Now I wear yoga pants (ones without pockets, since I finally found ones with pockets for day use!!) and an old faded T-shirt. 66. have you ever won a spelling bee? HA! HAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can’t spell. I’ve liteally been spelling half my words wrong this entire time. Spell check is my best friend. Though! I did get to the finals of a class spelling bee once, since they gave me easy words (to me, at least) and my classmates harder ones. It was almost funny. 67. what are your hobbies? I like to draw, paint, write, do other crafty stuff… Things like that. I also read, fanfiction mostly. :-) 68. can you draw? Yep!! 

Behold! My digital drawings!

This was my most recent traditional drawing, using charcoal for the first time. It was for GISH. 

69. do you play an instrument? Nope! Ha, but I do wish I could, ya know? But I’m bad at doing different things with one hand vs. the other, which is why I can’t clap my hands and stomp my feet with alternating rhythm. I can only do one thing at once, ya know? 

70. what was the last concert you saw? Ohh, hm. This is a good question… Hm… I think… It was at my county fair last year? A country dude with my parents. Trace Atkins, my dad said. I’ve not had the chance to see many concerts recently, sadly. :-(

71. tea or coffee? I like coffee better on the whole, but I’ve begun to like fruit teas, like raspberry or strawberry. I also like this nice orange/cinnamon tea. 

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dunkin Donuts, is this supposed to be hard? We don’t have many where I live, though. I like their iced coffee from stores, though.  

73. do you want to get married? Ehhhh…… I’ve talked about this before. I’m not sure, really. If I find someone I like who likes me, maybe. But I have a hard enough time making friends, so I doubt it. 

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? N.O.

(Stands for no one. :-) ) 

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? IF I get married, probably not. I like my last name. It’s unique. 

76. what color looks best on you? Hm. I don’t really know. Maybe red? I don’t have style so I don’t know. I like blue and purples, but who knows. 

77. do you miss anyone right now? Eh, not really. 

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed, but my “door” is a curtain, since I sleep in a converted den which has two open windows into the living room that are covered by curtains, and no door, which I also cover with a curtain on a shower rod. It was good when I was a sleepless teen, but now that I’m an adult trying to fix my sleep habits, it’s not so good, ya know. 

79. do you believe in ghosts? Not… really. Not much more to say about this. 

80. what is your biggest pet peeve? People being rude. Like… stop it. 

81. last person you called` Hm. Prolly my dad? Or my brother. I don’t like calling people. Phone anxiety, ya feel me? 

82. favorite ice cream flavor? Rainbow sherbet! Fun fact, when I was younger at camp, maybe 16 or 17, our camp counselor asked us this question and I replied with rainbow sherbet, saying it properly (sher-bet, not sher-bert) and my camp counselor went OFF, saying “Thank you!” for saying it properly. He was… something else. 

83. regular oreos or golden oreos? Oooh, I like those cinnamon bun Oreos. You know the kind? They’re the BEST. I can’t buy them often or else… well. I’ve already gained 40 pounds the last couple years. No need for more, aha.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow. Pretty!! 

85. what shirt are you wearing? My “Scare to Care” shirt that I bought for charity a few years ago. It’s a charity that raises money for Camp Kesem, which helps children who have a relative undergoing cancer treatment have a nice, normal camp experience for free, I think. 

86. what is your phone background? My lock screen is the picture of me and Dan, the background is the drawing I did of the Guardians of the Galaxy years ago. 

87. are you outgoing or shy? Both! Aha. I’m friendly when talking to people, seemingly outgoing, but I don’t go up and talk to people. I fear I’m annoying them, ya know? And I’m awful in groups. I never know when to talk and when I do talk, I fear I’m annoying people. Actually… I always feel I’m annoying people. Aha. Ha… 

88. do you like it when people play with your hair? Yep! People don’t do it often, though. Kids will, but you have to be careful when they do that. Sticky hands are not the best to be in your hair…. 

89. do you like your neighbors? I guess? I’ve not spoken to my neighbors since my next-door neighbors of 5 years moved out 5 years ago. They had kids my age, but we never really spoke. They were… not the brightest, or kindest. They once took in a stray puppy and locked it in their hot garage. My older brother and I freed it and kept it in our hallway outside our apartment, since we have emergency doors that we could close to keep him in, while we played with him. I’m allergic to dogs, though, and we have guinea pigs, so we couldn’t bring him inside our apartment. Luckily their parents got home after an hour or so and brought the dog to the shelter. They also had a different dog who kept escaping and my brother and I had to keep an eye on it often. It once got into our apartment and it was, ah. Fun. She didn’t hurt our pigs, though, so it was a plus!

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? YES. Both morning and night. It has not helped my acne. 

91. have you ever been high? Nope! Not even when I got my wisdom teeth out. I was fine the minute I woke. I felt ripped off. I was a bit over tired, but no more than if I’d not slept the whole night. Maybe I’m just always in a perpetual “high” state??? 

92. have you ever been drunk? Nope! I have a high tolerance, so one or two drinks does absolutely nothing for me. And I’ve never tried more than a coupe drinks. I’m almost afraid to see myself drunk, ya know? I’m so energetic usually, but keep a lot of thoughts inside, so who knows what I’d be like. I don’t like being out of control and I honestly think I’d hate it.  

93. last thing you ate? Shrimp Scampi. From Red Lobster. ^-^

94. favorite lyrics right now Uh… Again, no real idea. I’m not good with favorite things. 

95. summer or winter? Hm. Summer, I guess? It’s not much different where I live, though we get more rain during winter. I prefer heat to cold generally, though. So summer in general. I also like summer aesthetics, you know?

96. day or night? Hm. Day, though I do love night time. I just usually am inside during the night. 

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk! I hate all other kinds of chocolate. 

98. favorite month? Do people have favorite months?? February, I guess? Since I was born in February! And it’s a rebel. Only 28 days compared to the usual 30 or 31. And sometimes it has 29. Take that, months! 

99. what is your zodiac sign Aquarius. :-D 

100. who was the last person you cried in front of? Hm… that’s a… good question… I don’t like crying in front of people. Probably my mom or dad. I tend to head off on my own when I cry, though. I don’t like people seeing me sad, ya know?

Yay!! I’m done!! This took waaaayyyy too long. I’ve been doing this for probably over 2 hours. Hope y’all learned something. Prolly that I’m uninteresting, aha. ^-^ If you made it this far without skipping, I love you. <3 If you skipped… YOU’RE DEAD TO ME! 

Ha, just kidding. ^-^

OR AM I?!?! 

:-)

[eddie-boii]

Never Let You Go (part 5/14)

Fic info: Both Eddie and Stan live because I do what I want. Multichapter.

Rating: Teen and up (may change). Language.

Pairings: Reddie, Benverly.

Ao3 link: here

Summary: The Losers prepare for a wedding. The aftermath of that party...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

*

Richie awoke the next morning with a hangover far less jarring than he was expecting. His head still pounded and his dry mouth still tasted like shit, but he could move without wanting to die so that was something. The phenomenon was confusing until he remembered waking up in the middle of the night to find water and aspirin placed neatly on his bedside table. At the time, he hadn’t put any thought into how it had gotten there, but now he wondered who it might have been.

After several minutes spent building up the will to leave his cozy cocoon, he managed to extract Beverly’s arm from around his waist, shivering at the sudden lack of warmth, and stepped out of bed, instantly tripping over his tangled sheets and face planting the floor.

“Shut up,” he grunted when Beverly giggled. Of course she had to wake up in time to see that.

He picked himself up and made his way to the en suite bathroom on muscle memory alone since he couldn’t see shit without his glasses, then splashed water on his face and brushed his teeth for long enough to make Eddie proud, if only to remove the gross taste from his mouth.

He made his way back into his bedroom after freshening up, shoved his glasses back on and retrieved his phone from the pocket of his discarded jeans before crawling back into his still-warm bed beside a dozing Beverly.

“Wake up, asshole,” he said, poking Beverly’s cheek. “If I have to be awake and suffering, so do you.”

Beverly groaned and made to swat his hand away, but completely missed and smacked him in the face instead. She snorted at his ensuing yelp, even while sputtering out a quick, “Sorry, sweetie.” Then she made her way to the bathroom as Richie checked his messages.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered as ‘127 unread messages’ flashed up on the screen on The Losers’ group chat. He scanned the last few messages, which was hard since most contained atrocious typos from his drunken friends.

[1:52 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: Delete that fucking video Stan I swear to god.

[1:52 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: If Richie sees it I’m gonna kill you.

[1:55 am] Not-so-flat Stanley: Nahd bro sfucking makae me

[1:57 am] Flowerpot man #1: Wesll pute it isn a aslideshiow for youre vegas wedsing 

[1:58 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: Your typing is fucking awful.

[1:58 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: I have blackmail videos too you know.

[1:58 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: I’ll send them to your wives don’t think I won’t.

[2:01 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: Get back here assholes!!

[2:01 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: Stanley!!!!! Bill!!!

[2:02 am] Mikey Mouse: They passed out :(

[2:02 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: They better hope they stay in a fucking coma.

[7:43 am] Flowerpot man #2: Guys what the hell happened last night???

“What the fuck?” Richie mumbled to himself, scrolling back up on his phone, but Stan must have actually deleted whatever video they were talking about, the evidence that it was there at all shown only by a jarring gap in the flow of conversation. From:

[12:32 am] Queen B: Omg are yuo seeing the ass on thsi stripper??

[12:34 am] Flowerpot man #1: Evrn juicer thsn Stan’s

[12:34 am] Mikey Mouse: Impsosible

To:

[1:13 am] Not-so-flat Stanley: Miskde yuo owes mae 30 buskcs1!!!1

[1:14 am] Flowerpot man #1: lol gay

[1:14 am] Mikey Mouse: Doesdn’t count!!!!!

[1:16 am] Queen B: Has to be mutual Stanley!

[1:17 am] Not-so-flat Stanley: Eds waas cleasrldy into it!!!!!!!!!

“Bev,” Richie called, frowning at his phone with growing dread. “Mind reminding me what the fuck happened last night?”

Beverly appeared in the bathroom doorway, toothbrush still in her mouth. “I don’t know, usual drunken shit?” she said, though the words were hard to make out through her mouthful of toothpaste. She spat the toothpaste into the sink and rinsed, then returned to leaning against the door. “I remember playing truth or dare, and we stole your glasses, and then…” Her eyes widened suddenly. “Oh shit.”

“What?” said Richie wearily, kind of dreading the answer but needing to know anyway.

“Okay, honey, promise you won’t freak out…”

“That is the number one way to freak someone out,” said Richie, beginning to freak out. “What the fuck did I do? Did I post a dick pic on twitter? Am I going to be on the news?”

“No, no, no, nothing like that,” said Beverly. She moved to sit on the bed beside Richie and took his hand reassuringly. “Everything that happened is just between The Losers. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Well, do you remember trying to stick your tongue down the throat of anyone who got within an inch of you?”

“Oh god,” said Richie, but honestly he’d expected worse. He’d always been kind of a ‘friendly’ drunk. “Is that all? Please tell me that’s all.”

“Well,” said Beverly, “do you also remember that the reason you tried to kiss anyone in sight was because you didn’t have your glasses on and you thought… Well, you thought we were Eds.”

Richie stared at her. “Oh no. Oh no, no, no.” He groaned and ran his hands down his face, his unshaven stubble scratching at his palms. “Are you sure? Coz, uh, maybe I just thought you were all Eddie’s mom.” He tried for a light-hearted grin but it came out as more of a shaky grimace.

“Oh, you made it quite clear, babe,” said Bev. “You screamed ‘Eddie’ at us right before. Mike would like to know if you’re colourblind.”

Richie buried his face in his hands and let out an even longer groan than before. “So everyone knows?”

“That you’ve got it bad for Eds? Yep.”

“Does Eddie know?”

Beverly scoffed at that. “God, no. He’s as dense as you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Nothing,” said Bev, avoiding eye contact.

Richie groaned some more, then something occurred to him as his gut filled with growing horror. The missing video... “Wait, fuck, Bev, did I kiss Eddie?”

Beverly didn’t answer right away. She was gnawing at her lip, her eyes looking anywhere but at Richie. “Well, yeah, but I doubt he thought it meant anything. I mean, you’d already made out with everyone else by that point. And- Oh fuck, there’s something else, babe.”

Richie stared at her. How could this possibly get any worse? “What?”

“Well, I didn’t hear everything coz I was in the hallway, but, um, you might have told Eddie you loved him-”

“What?!”

“He was making sure you got to bed okay and-” Richie had leapt up at this pointing and was frantically pacing the room while Bev remained on the bed, her arms waving around frantically as she tried to explain. “I think he just thought you meant in a friendly way! He still doesn’t know anything, I promise!”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s Eddie!” said Beverly as if this settled matters. “He doesn’t know shit. If he didn’t know back when we were kids, he’s not gonna figure it out now.”

“He-” Richie stopped pacing abruptly and turned to look at Beverly who clamped both hands over her mouth as though she’d only just realised what she’d said. “You- you knew I liked him when we were kids?”

Beverly slowly lowered her hands from her mouth, her expression apologetic. “Oh, babe, everyone knew.”

“Everyone?!”

“Well not Eddie,” said Beverly. “Listen, honey, this really isn’t as bad as you think. I mean, I think he likes you too.”

“Yeah right,” Richie scoffed. “Have you seen me?”

Beverly got off the bed and grasped both of Richie’s hands in hers, squeezing them as she looked up at him, her expression sincere and a little stern. “Honey, you are a fucking amazing, wonderful person, and also a weirdly good kisser, and if Eddie doesn’t see that, he doesn’t deserve you. But for the record, I’m pretty sure I’ve caught him checking out your ass.”

“When Stan’s ass is right there?” said Richie. “Damn, he must like me.”

“He does!” Beverly insisted. “Now grow some balls and ask him out! Preferably before the wedding or Stan and I will lose that bet we have against Mike and Bill.”

“You guys are betting on us?!”

“Just a little,” Bev grinned apologetically, then leaned up and kissed Richie on the tip of his nose. “Now don’t tell Mike or Bill you know about it or they’ll say I’m cheating.”

“You are all horrible friends,” said Richie, but he grinned back at her anyway, then retrieved his phone off the bed as Bev went to finish getting washed up. He contemplated his friends’ dumb messages for a minute, then sent one of his own:

[11:43 am] Little King Trashmouth: Sorry about last night Eduardo the resemblance between you and your mom is just too strong (~￣³￣)~

He didn’t have to wait long for replies:

[11:44 am] Eduardo Spaguardo: That is so not fucking funny

[11:45 am] Flowerpot man #1: Where do you keeping finding those faces???

[11:45 am] Flowerpot man #2: Seriously guys what the hell happened????????

Richie smiled down at his phone then shut it off for the time being. There was no way Eddie liked him, so matter what Beverly insisted, but Richie was just glad he hadn’t screwed things up. As long as they were still friends, as long as Richie still made ‘your mom’ jokes and Eddie still got mad at him for it, everything would be okay. And, hey, if Beverly was right, if Eddie did really like him like that, then maybe he’d let his guard down just a little, stop hiding behind so many jokes, let Eddie find his way through the gaps if he wanted to try. 

Whatever happened, happened, and Richie was okay with that.

*

Previous Next

[chrsitophwaltz]

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 1/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: excuse my face and the pic qualities. up until this happened i haven’t really taken pictures of myself (less than 10 in the past two years for family and work purposes and NEVER selfies) and when you meet people you’ve only seen on TV in a very unexpected circumstance, then don’t expect your brain and motor functions to work 100%.

okay. i posted part 1 of this a few days ago but i’m gonna redo it again to flush out the details. before i start, know that i arrived in houston wednesday afternoon. my original flight back home was scheduled sunday after the game (i booked my flight and lodgings months before like a good binch) but since bayern clowned again and announced the full detailed schedule really late, and put ALL the major fan stuff on SUNDAY, i grudgingly rebooked and extended one more day. how much that one extra day cost me will haunt me for a while but hey, it was more than worth it! of course, i didn’t know it would work out like that at first...

the hotel reception was around 6:30-7 pm on friday so we went there a few hours earlier to get good spots. met up with The Niko Thirst Gang (big shoutout to @screamingoranges, @saquonbrkley, and @simplyirenic! it was great meeting y’all hope we could do it again sometime) and waited patiently in the houston heat and humidity outside the hotel. finally the team bus arrived and got my shirt signed by boa, fiete, benji, leon, and thomas! made a post about it here and i also have the full reception video if y’all wanna see!

but being the greedy thirsty binch that i am, i wasn’t satisfied at all. thiago and niko weren’t there. the coaching staff were the first to go down and hansi flick, dr. broich, and even Witch Doctor™ müller-wohlfahrt were there, but NOT niko. after the bus left and all the other entourage cars were off, i was about to rage outside the hotel bc i was really banking on seeing niko that day and taking a pic with him there (my blood pressure had been raging for 4 hours and then to be let down just like t h a t...). apparently he and thiago went straight to nrg stadium from the airport for a press conference. and guess what? NRG STADIUM WAS JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM MY PLACE 💀💀💀

anyway, come saturday and it was game day! i was so pumped since my seat was five rows behind the bayern bench! y’all know what that means: unlimited firsthand access to peak drama!!! i also had this huge ass sign asking for niko’s bottle sdhfsdjfh. the game was great (bc we beat madridies and it was just really exciting all the way) and i saw stuff that we normally don’t get from TV (e.g. ALL the angry niko antics, leon changing into his kit on the bench, etc.) at one point niko finally looked at my direction while drinking from his bottle and i’m pretty sure he saw my sign but he just kept on drinking sultrily from that goddamn bottle sjadhksfksdfdk i hate him!!!!!!!

after the game i was feeling pretty let down and desperate bc i know sunday was the team’s last full day in houston and i didn’t want my extension to be for nothing. the practice session and paulaner bbq were invite-only events (ugh) and the mall meet-and-greets won’t have niko or everyone else in them. so i set my alarm, went to bed, and decided to try my luck by randomly going to the hotel again to see if i can get something. i had no idea if it was gonna work or not. it was a shot in the freaking dark.

sunday morning. 8:30 am. i went out armed with a sharpie, my cardboarded jersey, a pack of gum, and two bottles of water.

my uber drove me to the hotel entrance and i even got the whole five star welcome sjdhfsjdfbjkds

hotel staff: ”hi! welcome to the post oak hotel!”

me: “oh lmao i’m not actually a customer i’m just here to see if the team’s still here. have they left for practice yet?”

hotel staff: “oh no problem at all. they’re still here they just finished breakfast i think”

me: “oh cool i’ll just wait here then”

hotel staff and some guy in a bayern audi fcb tour polo shirt: “it’s so hot here, though. don’t you want to wait inside?”

me:

me: “............i can do that? am i allowed in?”

bayern guy: *shrugs* yeah sure. i’ve seen you around before anyway (nice guy talk for: i know ur stalking them lmao)

just like that.

i’m in. i made it.

u n s u p e r v i s e d. totally no barriers whatsoever. with full blast A/C too!

cue happy lil me, relieved to be out of the houston heat, entering the hotel and chilling in their nice plushy seats. (if y’all have cash to burn, it looks like a real good hotel too if you get to houston sometime). i kept on looking over my shoulder bc i still can’t believe they just let me in like t h a t. i tried to make myself look as harmless and innocent as possible and saw some of the training staff milling around and chatting in german (for a moment i thought i was back in munich it was so surreal). at some point, a very sleepy and very casual javi martinez in slides came up to the reception and i nearly passed out. he looked over at me and i waved and said hi and raised my shirt (signal if he wants to sign). he shook his head no and gestured to reception and i was like “oh sure no problem!” (i was trying not to freak out even if i was sad ok)

i’ve been trying to kill time by screaming here on tumblr until about 10-15 minutes later i heard the huge ass team bus pull up out front. a few moments after that, it all started.

i saw the kitmen carrying stuff to the bus and greeted them “guten morgen!” they were so cheery lmao (idk if it’s bc they just had breakfast or bc i greeted them in german). then i saw dr. broich and hansi flick come out in their training gear (both looking hella tanned sfnsjfjsdfn) and greeted them both again. dr. broich waved, said hi, and went straight to the bus but i was able to flag hansi down for an autograph. in my excitement (he was my first catch of the day!) i forgot to ask for a pic ugh but oh well

me: “thanks hansi! and welcome to bayern!”

hansi: *handing me back my shirt and trying (and failing) to put my sharpie back in its cap* “oh, thanks so much!”

after hansi went on his merry way, i saw dieter nickles (the press conference guy) and asked him for a picture and autograph too.

me: “hi dieter! can i please have a photo and an autograph?”

dieter: “are you sure? i’m not a player...”

me: “haha i know but if it’s all the same to you...”

he seemed pretty chuffed that i knew him and happily signed and took pictures (score #2!)

that was it for a while (they were the early birds) until giovane elber himself came out. i freaked (i love him) and tried to keep my voice from shaking when i asked him for the standard photo and autograph. in my haste, the first was pretty blurry and against the light but giovane, angel that he is, was like “oh no that’s bad. let’s try again” and maneuvered me to another angle. success! i luff u, giovane ;__;

then The Voice of the Allianz Arena himself came out. i semi-shouted “stephan!” and startled him that he nearly dropped his coffee snbfsdbfsdfsb. while he was signing my shirt, i asked him if he could give me a lil soundbite and HE DID! he sounds exactly the same as he does on TV during games omfg

the younglings started to come out too. i missed a few of them because they went out in a group so i was only able to flag down sarpreet and ron. oh well! they cute af! go bayern babies! grow up and save us from clownery!!!!!!

(ignore the pen in my mouth i was multitasking lmao)

after that, the ground started to shake (just kidding) bc Big Uncle Nik was there! after i got his autograph (a very simple N.S. lmaooo) , we tried to take a picture. i say “tried,” because i’m 5′3 (and 1/2....on a good day) and he’s built like a fuckin skyscraper. in the end, since he was so nice and realized it was hopeless, he bent down to my level so we could both fit in the frame sdhfbsdjfsbdfjd COME ON SÜLEEEEE

then Pure Angel Baby Fiete came out! i already got his autograph and had a pic with him in the hotel reception, but hey, one more can’t hurt! lemme tell y’all: he looks like an angel, and IS an angel. he’s always so game for photos and even said thank you after we took the pic and i’m like “um???? no, thank YOU!!!” he laughed and i cried lmaooo

also, javi finally showed up again. i raised my pen and phone and he was like “oh sure! yeah!” my brain was fried from Beautiful Athlete Overload that i forgot NOT to take a pic from that cursed angle. javi looked like he was in a hurry though so i didn’t even try to ask for a better pic. oh well, at least here he looks like he came down from heaven (he really looked like he did huehue)

(tumblr has this stupid 10 photo per post limit thing so stay tuned for more pics in part 2!)

[talisamposts]

My 7-day Tasmania Itinerary

Tasmania is such a beautiful travel destination! I recently spent a week there and absolutely loved it. Aside from pre-planned group bookings, I didn’t find much in the way of solo travel itineraries, so I took a bit out of all the posts I found and created my own. I have to say, I thought it was near perfect! I decided to rent a car for the week, but if you have your own and take the ferry over, that works too.

So if you’re planning a trip to Tassie, have a look over my plan.

Day 1 - Hobart

Your first day can be spent just exploring Hobart and the surrounds. As it’s not a large city and the airport is so close, it’s possible to see quite a few things even if you only have half a day. 

In terms of accommodation, Hobart is not lacking in anything. I would definitely recommend a stay in Rose Bay, which is not in the Hobart city centre, but across the bridge on the opposite side of the Derwent river. It’s a few minutes’ drive out of the city and you get the most spectacular views of the Tasman bridge and the river. 

While driving around Hobart and around the city, make sure to head up to Mount Wellington. This is a must-see and probably the easiest and cheapest thing you’ll do. It’s completely free to go up to the viewpoint and you can drive the entire way. I drove at a leisurely pace, stopping a few times to take pictures and take in the scenery, which probably took me about a half hour. The view from the top is breathtaking and you can wander around there for a bit. Just remember to take warm clothing as it’s freezing at the top!

Once you’ve been up Mount Wellington, head to the Botanical Gardens. Entry is also free and the gardens are stunning. They have a wide range of plant species, a cafe and shop and their very own Japanese Garden. If you’re wanting some peace and quiet in nature, this is the place to go.

For dinner, Hobart has many options. As a vegan, I love supporting businesses that are entirely veggie, which is why I ate at Veg Bar a few times. To be honest, it’s not the greatest vegan food I’ve had by a long shot, but it’s worth a visit, if only to enjoy the funky decor.

Day 2 - Bruny Island

Since driving a lot can get tiring, I recommend doing the things that require the longer drives at the beginning of your week. Trust me, you’re not really going to be in the mood for them towards the end. To catch the ferry to Bruny Island, an absolute must-see when in Tassie, you have to drive about 30-40 minutes to Kettering. The ferry takes about 15 minutes and departs at multiple times throughout the day. The island itself is actually really large with no public transport, so prepare to spend the majority of your time driving.

If you’re keen to get that Bruny Island lighthouse photo everyone loves, I recommend doing that as your first thing. It’s the furthest away from where the ferry docks and the road takes you through the South Bruny National Park. It’s gorgeous but be careful on the dirt roads as your tires can slip easily depending on your car. I think it took me roughly 2 hours to get there. 

I am not ashamed to admit that, as an introvert, I despise large crowds and will almost always avoid them. I did not get that typical lighthouse pic, because it started raining just as I got there, there were heaps of people and it’s still quite a climb from the carpark up to the lighthouse. I walked halfway up, took an average pic of the lighthouse, and went back down. Keep in mind that you have to pay an entry fee to actually go into the lighthouse. I still think it was worth the drive, though, because the scenery there and along the way is absolutely beautiful.

Aside from the lighthouse, there are plenty of other things to see and do on Bruny Island. Wine tasting, chocolate tasting, whiskey tasting, cheese tasting, lunches (my recommendation is Bruny Island Seafood Restaurant for great seating and a delicious pumpkin soup) and many other options. Build those into your itinerary however you’d like. If you’re exploring the island the way I did, starting right down at the bottom, I recommend heading over to Adventure Bay next. 

On your way back up to the north of the island, make sure to stop at the Neck. This is the part that connects the south and north of Bruny Island. Climb up the stairs to the lookout point and get that iconic view of both beaches! 

The reason I did this later in my day was that there are a lot less people around than in the morning, so you can actually find parking and enjoy the view without a million people around you.

Day 3 - Bay of Fires

For two days of my trip I did actually book a guided tour. I know this is not always the most appealing to introverts, but I highly recommend you push yourself to do it. There are plenty of tours to choose from, most of them doing roughly the same thing and they tend to keep groups to a maximum of 24 people. In my case I was very lucky, as they’d somehow overbooked their tour and organised a smaller bus for just 7 of us. The people in my tour were all absolutely lovely, and our guide was excellent, so it worked out really well for me. 

Either way I’d still recommend booking an East Coast Tasmania tour as getting all the way up to the Wineglass Bay and the Bay of Fires would be tricky as a solo traveller. This is really where you want to be taken care of, and I also enjoyed the break from having to drive for hours.

Have a look at some Tassie tours here.

I realise that for these two days my rental car was not being used, but the daily price was not high enough for me to care too much about this. If this is something that bothers you, change up your itinerary a bit. Keep in mind that booked tours run on specific days only, so you’ll have to plan around that. The 2-day East coast tour I booked starts on Wednesdays.

Part of the tour is also a stop at a wildlife sanctuary in Bicheno, where you can see and learn about Tasmanian Devils, Wombats, Quolls and other interesting animals. Buy a feed bag and go feed the kangaroos and geese wandering freely around the sanctuary, it’s an amazing experience!

Day 4 - Wineglass Bay

The second day of the tour takes you to the Freycinet National Park, where you’ll climb up to a viewpoint to look out over Wineglass Bay. This is another iconic Tasmanian image that’s worth the hike up the mountain. Make sure to wear suitable footwear and be reasonably fit!

Unfortunately, I visited on one of those extremely rare, extremely rainy days and did not get to see the view from the lookout, but honestly the walk was still fun. I got completely soaked through within minutes (imagine jumping into a swimming pool fully clothed) and there were waterfalls running down the mountains. Considering that this rarely ever happens, I felt quite lucky to have seen a side of Freycinet that most people don’t. 

I’m not sure if this applies to me only or if all introverts can relate, but I love the rain. It’s my favourite weather because the world is so much less noisy when it rains. So overall, for me, this was still a great experience.

On a normal, sunny day you’d probably take a nice hike up to the viewpoint, take some pics and then go down to the actual beach of Wineglass Bay for a swim. This would take a few hours and you’d see wallabies and other animals in the park. You’d then head back to Hobart in the afternoon.

Day 5 - Port Arthur 

Port Arthur Historic Site is a little village and historic site which showcases the history of British prisoners and the officers and soldiers stationed there. It’s really well kept and you get a good feeling of how life was back when it was operational. I unexpectedly spent almost all day here as it’s really big and there is just so much to see. Tickets aren’t cheap and additional tours cost extra, but even if you just get general admission it’s worth it. The ticket is valid for 2 days, so you do have the option to return the next day. 

The site is about a 90-minute drive out of Hobart, and it’s definitely worth a visit!

Day 6 - Salamanca Market, MONA

Most people agree that a trip to Hobart wouldn’t be complete without visiting the famous Salamanca Market. This market sells everything from fresh veggies to jewellery to delicious food and drinks. My first stroll through the market took about an hour, that’s how big it is. It’s held every Saturday at Salamanca Place from 8:30am - 3pm. There are some great vegan options if you’re like me and like to eat your way through a market!

If you’re into art, then check out the MONA (Museum of Old and New Art). It’s one of Hobart’s main attractions, a museum built mostly underground that you can get to using their unique ferry. If you’re on a budget just keep the entry and ferry prices in mind, as they’re not cheap. 

The museum is like no other you’ve ever experienced. You won’t find information cards or artists’ names on the walls beside their art, as you’d expect. Instead, you’re given a device (like an old iPhone) that you keep with you as you walk through the exhibits. It has a location service so you can check out any information on anything you’re looking at, including interactive VR stuff. It’s definitely very interesting, but I must admit there were times where I thought “this counts as art?”, but that’s just me. The nice thing is it’s mostly dark everywhere and you don’t have to talk to anyone, so a great thing to do for introverts.

Day 7 - Richmond

I recommend relaxing or doing any small things you didn’t get to do all week on your last day. A tip my AirBnB hosts gave me was a drive to Richmond, a small town about 25 minutes outside of Hobart. It’s got that typical cute, old-timey village feel. There’s a huge lolly shop with so many candy options, the Richmond Bridge which is the oldest stone bridge in Australia, and the Richmond Gaol where they also imprisoned women. For lunch I recommend Czegs’ Cafe. The decor is adorable and they have little outside tables where you can keep away from the masses. The vegan pasta is to die for!

I really hope this little itinerary helps you in your search for the best things to do in Tassie. If you have more time, I hear Launceston is a great place to visit, or even going up the West Coast. I’ll have to check that out the next time I go.

[do-lvn]

Fifth avenue

yo yo here’s a little soft fic about my baby gray. this pic made me think of this so enjoy loves! I'm going to quickly dedicate this to Luna for helping me pick out the beginning @rockstardolan

SUMMARY: Grayson works at a coffee shop on fifth avenue, when he meets (Y/N) he tends to become very fond of her over the next couple of weeks.

gloomy was all Grayson could think of to describe the day. it was a Tuesday and he worked a full 9-hour shift. so with only getting 3 hours of sleep due to Ethan staying up till 5 am playing music, he was very grumpy. He sluggishly walked in and checked his name on the old list hanging from the employee lounge.

“Hello, Mr. Dolan nice to see you here so early!” He looked over at John, the employee of the month for the past 7 years. he was always so cocky and Grayson couldn’t stand it. “good morning John, And please. call me Grayson.” he pulled his apron off the rack and slowly walked over to the door flipping the ‘open’ sign on. once he saw the lights start to flash he sighed and walked back over to his station.

He wanted nothing more than too to go back into his car, drive home and curl up into a ball of sleep. he almost fell out but the sound of the bell hung from the door woke him up. he looked up and almost fell over at the sight of you. you walked in with a friend, a cute smile on your face. He had never seen you before with the 3 years of working at the old Cafe.

“Hello!” You chirped up. He fought the smile from his face which only resulted in a smirk. “hi, welcome to Ridgewood, how may I help you?” You looked over the menu, and sighed. “you go first Emily, I got to think.” Emily walked up and gave Grayson a smile, “hi, I’ll take a medium hot chocolate, with marshmallows.” Grayson quickly jotted that down, he looked over to analyze your features as you looked over the menu. (Y/N), c’mon.” you looked down. “Just a small hot chocolate.” he smiled and walked over to the machine.

John walked over, “I got this you take their order.” he looked up to the group of businessmen that had just walked in. he grunted and walked. “How can I help you?”

You looked over at Emily, “okay, he's cute right.” you laughed and shrugged. “Yeah, if you're into coffee men.” she slapped your arm and continued to drool over John. “Here you go ladies.” you grabbed your cup and smiled. Grayson looked up and sighed, he didn't even get your number. (Y/N) he liked the way it rolled off his tongue. He would see you again he knew it.

And was he right, you walked in two days later with the same craving of a Ridgewood hot chocolate. You were alone this time, no Emily. Yet gray did see her, she had come back that same day to get john’s number, he was upset that you weren’t there but even happier now that you were alone. 

“Hi, again. I'll have a small hot chocolate.” he smiled and walked over to the machine this time happy John had the day off, so he could make it for you. He handed it to you and slightly touched your hand. “Thank you, uh..” you trailed off and took a peep at his name tag with a smile. “Grayson, thank you Grayson.” he smiled back. “You’re welcome (Y/N)” you must have looked shocked because he laughed. “You were here two days ago, I don't have that bad of a memory to forget a pretty girls name.” you laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Thank you, I’ll see ya around.” he waved and watched you walk out. “Excuse me sir.” he shook his head to look at the line of people he had to deal with. “You seem whipped.” he looked at the girl in front of him. “You said whipped? Sure I'll get you some whipped cream with that,” he responded completely dodging her comment. “Uh, sure.”

The next day you appeared again, this time happier than the last. “Hi, Grayson! I’ll take a medium hot chocolate.” he chuckled “oo a medium.” you laughed. “Hey its cold!” he grinned and walked over to the machine, this becoming his favorite thing to do for you. “A medium hot chocolate for you.” you took a sip and smiled, “thank you, you make the best. I'll see you again!” he waved and smiled going to continue taking orders. “Her best friend is hot.” he looked back at John “aren’t you dating her?” he shook his head. “No. but we are talking.” he scoffed, “you're 25 talking to a 19-year-old.” John laughed, “she’s 21. Turns out she met (Y/N) through her brother. They used to date and when they broke up her and Emily stayed friends. It's quite interesting, maybe if you had the balls you would actually ask for her number and hear it from her.” gray ignored him and just looked at you get into your car, “yeah, fuck off John.”

The next week you didn't appear and it started to affect gray, he even had it ready for you one morning, ready to give it to you on the house but you never showed up. He started to overthink john’s words. “Hey, John how are you and Emily. John looked up from the machine “good, I asked her out last week.” he nods, “have you seen (Y/N)?�� John chuckled. “Yeah a lot actually, I'll tell her you asked about her.” his eyes widened. “No, no you don’t have to do that.” he nodded. “Whatever you say, dude, now go take those orders, thanks.”

“Hey (Y/N), I’m going out with John. I’ll be back tomorrow.” you nodded. “Sure! Bye.” it had been a month since you set foot in Ridgewood and it had only got colder, and today was a good day to get some hot chocolate. You looked out at the snow falling and smiled. You grabbed your keys and walked outside. It was 5pm only 30 minutes before closing time. When you finally arrived you caught gray walking out. “Hey Grayson!” he looked up and smiled. “(Y/N) long time no see.” you laughed. “I know, but are you leaving?” he nodded. “Yeah, my shift just ended. Why did you want a hot chocolate?” you smiled. “If it's not too much to ask.” he shook his head. “Not for you. What are you feeling today, medium or small?” you grinned. “A medium.” he smiles. “I’ll be right back.”

You walked over to your car and sat on the hood. He walked back out “here you go.”

‘Thank you Grayson.” he nodded “are you doing anything tonight?” you smiled and shook your head, “nope just me and this hot chocolate,” he laughed. “Can I change that? Would you like to go see a movie?”

“Is this you asking me out Grayson?” he chuckled, “I believe so.” you nodded. “Well then, yes Grayson I would love to go see a movie with you.” with a smile he grabbed your hand. “Alright your pick.” you started to think when a car pulled up. “Hey! Gray! Let's go.” he looked at the side of the car and scowled “you got my car dirty Ethan.” you looked over and almost did a double take, twins.

“Would've never expected you to have a twin.” Grayson looked back at you. “Yeah, no one ever does. But um here,” he handed you his phone “I'll text you when I get out of these shitty work clothes, I’ll pick you up and we can watch whatever you pick.” you smiled and handed him his phone back after giving him the digits he wanted. “I’ll see you later Grayson.” he waved and pushed Ethan to the passengers' seat. You laughed as Ethan groaned. “Fucking shit Grayson.” he laughed and drove off. You sat atop your car and finished your hot chocolate in the snow watching as it slowly fell and landed in your lap.

You stayed there another 5 minutes when you decided to go home and freshen up for your night with gray.

Grayson rushed inside and ran to his room. “So who was the hot chick?” Grayson scoffed. “Her names (Y/N) and I have a date with her tonight.” Ethan sighed, “damn looks like you beat me to it.” Grayson ignored the nagging of his older brother and jumped in the shower, wanting to quickly get ready and not take too long.

Meanwhile, you were currently brushing your hair while blasting tame impala, your phone right next to you for that one text you awaited. When it finally dinged with a text from gray asking for your address, your heart pounded.

“Coming!” Grayson fixed his jacket and looked up at the sight of you his heart thumped. “Well ms (Y/N) you ready?” you smiled and got into his car noticing two cups of hot chocolate ready for the both of you.

“So ready.”

[siyeonjisoo]

Oookay.  Long post in-coming.  TL:DR is I saw the GazettE yesterday and while it was a really fucking long day, IT WAS AMAZING AND ALL WORTH IT AND I LOVE THEM AND MY FRIENDS <3 <3 <3

SO my day started at 3:50am when I woke up.  got on a train at 5:17 in the morning to get to NYC by 7.  I ended up being the 34th person in line.  The folks at the front of the line had come straight from Dallas and started lining up at 4am which is both insane but awesome.  I was waiting for the discord friends to show up and was the second one to show up.  the line was originally along the front entrance of the building and all mixed.  The business on the corner, however, really hates the lines being in front of their entrance so we actually got split from VIP and GA really early.  I think it was like 9am when that happened and all of us who are familiar with how shit Playstation staff’s organization usually is were shook.

My friends and I had a great time hanging out all day long so I got no complaints, even though I sat my ass on a sidewalk in Times Square for 10 hours yesterday.  We had ourselves organized and knew we were gonna be fine but Playstation staff showed their true identities by trying to fuck with it all day long.  We all got in several shouting matches of them just going on power trips and us trying to explain that they don’t have to worry about us.

I also painted my nails at some point in line haha

Because we were so damn close to the doors, we could hear soundcheck from outside.  They played Zetsu, Shadow VI II I, Sumire, and Bathroom and I was fucking crying so much then.  Those were the first tears of the day, I think, but nowhere near the last.  We were all freaking out over it.

A little bit after that, I went on a trip to use the bathroom (which was the last time I think I went before I got home at 2am lol.  Held anything from like 3pm till then).  We were going to the Hardrock Cafe for that so we had to walk from the alley tunnel where the VIP lines were around the block past the main entrance of Playstation.  A staff member came walking out just as a car was pulling up with 3 men in the backseat.  They all had light blonde hair and masks on.  Staff hurriedly ushered them inside.  I saw the eyes of one of the guys and I swear to god that it may have been Kai.  It was after the soundcheck so unless staff did the soundcheck for them, they went out for lunch after and I saw them when they came back.  Which is possible.  So yeah, that may have happened.

We were allowed to go inside starting around 6:30 so we started organizing ourselves into the number order we had around 5 just so we could be ready when staff started letting us in.  I was standing from 5pm then until like 9:45, after the concert ended.  At 6:10, they started organizing us by letting us snake through to get our VIP bands and (if you were Heresy) other bracelets.  We got like 25 people through that way and it was taking REALLY long so they gave up on that and sent the first bunch through.  Because a lot of people weren’t there (either were GA given a # by accident or just not there) I ended up being within the first 20 to get inside.

I hit up the merch table to get a Reita bear and because of that, lost the chance to get the barricade but I still was in the 3rd row on the side that I wanted to be on.  It was around 7 by then and we were all just waiting for everyone to get in.  I talked with all the people around me and we all had a great time.  At 8:02, the concert started.

Here is the setlist:

99.999

Falling

NINTH ODD SMELL

GUSH

Vortex

Venomous Spider's Web

THE MORTAL

SONO KOE WA MOROKU

DOGMA

The Suicide Circus

INCUBUS

UGLY

ABHOR GOD

Filth in the Beauty

encore

INSIDE BEAST

Cockroach

Tomorrow Never Dies

I managed to keep my spot in front of Reita in the 3rd row for the entire show, only moving like an inch or two away from center, toward Aoi.  By the time Vortex happened, I definitely was not standing on my own feet but was being held up by the crowd and swaying all around with them.  I had one foot on the ground to keep me, well, grounded, and was just being pushed back and forth with the crowd from then on.  I don’t think I have been that covered in sweat in my entire life.  My shirt was fucking drenched, thank goodness it was a thick material so the white didn’t become transparent at least haha.

The folks directly behind me were holding onto my shoulders and back to balance while headbanging and that pushed me forward and backward so I was headbanging better so thanks fam!

I also got a punch in the eye at one point and this was the thought process of my reaction (over the span of like 2 seconds):  "oh no, i'm a daycare teacher! I can't have a black eye!" then "fuck it, I'm at a concert I don't care" then "wait it didn't even hurt that much why was I so dramatic".  There was no damage and I was just being dramatic so enjoy laughing at me.

I was right in front of Reita so I got lots of him.  He stuck his tongue out while making eye contact with me at one point.  I saw heaven in that moment.  He also kept doing this weird little waving thing with his hand throughout and it was really fucking cute and made me laugh while doing it back at him.

Ruki would also hop up in the area right in front of us, right on the edge of the stage, and after the first time he came there, I was on that one foot until the main set ended.  Seeing Ruki’s dorky dancing in person, that close, is so funny.  I laughed so hard every single time he did his little chicken neck dance thing.  Can’t take him seriously when he does that.

Aoi was teasing all of us and being a handsome man.  He also attempted to turn Sono Koe wo Moroku into a sexy song with how he was dancing there.

Kai and Uruha were on their side of the stage the entire time and I couldn’t see either of them very well but every time I did, they were breathtakingly beautiful and seemed to be having so much fun.

Main set ended around 9:08.  We chanted back and forth between encore and gazetto for like 11 or 12 minutes before they came back on.

Aoi and Reita stayed in their costumes while Kai and Uruha had changed into tour shirts.  URUHA LOOKED SO FUCKING SEXY IN HIS BECAUSE he had cut the sleeves off and the collar so it was a low v-neck style.  Made his choker necklace stand out even more and HOLY FUCK IS THAT MAN SEXY.  Kai took his microphone and yelled at us in English about how fucking awesome we were and it was so nice hearing him curse for some reason.  I can’t explain why it was so nice to hear but it was.  After that, they started a slightly elongated instrumental intro to Inside Beast before Ruki came out on stage and he also had not changed out of his costume.

The only time that Uruha came past the center onto my side was during Inside Beast I think.  The only words I could think at that moment were “oh my god, that man is so beautiful”.

I knew that Tomorrow Never Dies was going to be the last song they played so as soon as Ruki started saying “last”, I started feeling like I was going to cry.  But the problem with that was the fact that I had sweated out so much liquid that I had no tears.  So I sobbed but without tears throughout that entire song.  After that song, Aoi, Uruha, and Reita threw their pics into the crowd.  One of Aoi’s landed like a foot or two to my left but either someone caught it and didn’t tell anyone or it got lost cause no one claimed to have caught it after.

Kai had his phone and took a picture from behind his drumset.  I think it was a selfie with us in the background.  Then he came down to the front, smiley as ever, and took some more pics of just us.  I found myself.  I’m in the purple circle here

We then all went up to the chairs in the back to wait for it to be M&G time.  I would have been fine if my day had ended there, honestly, because it had already been amazing.  But no, there was still more.  It was like 9:30/9:40 when they started clearing the rows to go through.  I was surprisingly calm about it because I was concentrating on my promise to a friend.  She was behind me in line and I had promised to get Aoi to wish her a happy birthday since it is today, the day after the concert.  So I focused on that and making sure I could say that to him instead of freaking out over anything else.

so the order was Aoi, Reita, Ruki, Kai, Uruha.  one by one, here is what happened.

Aoi: he takes my hands and thanks me in English.  I thank him in Japanese while marveling in how SOFT his hands are.  Then I tell him, again in Japanese, about it being my friends bday tomorrow and asking him to say something.  He looks at her and grins and nods to me.  Reita is staring at me now and I almost froze having both of them looking straight at me at the same time.

Reita: I hand to him the card I wrote for all of them and he takes it while saying, in English, “For me?” and he sounded so cute.  I corrected him and said it was for all of them and he nodded and thanked me, in Japanese, and I thanked him too.  I kinda didn’t even notice that he wasn’t looking at me with two eyes because I was in so much shock.

Ruki: He gave me the softest smile as he took my hand in both of his.  I thanked him and almost couldn’t let go of his hands.  Not because of me, but because of him not wanting to let go.  I think he saw my tattoo when we shook hands which makes me happy.

Kai: THIS MAN IS SO SWEET.  I thanked him while we shook hands and this is kinda when I started losing my mind.  I let go of his hands kinda fast but I told him, in Japanese, that he has an amazing smile and he tilted his head and smiled at me.  Like just at me and my legs almost gave out under me.

Uruha: His hands.  They are so big.  And so soft.  AND HE IS SO FUCKING HOT.  I had completely lost my mind by then so he said thank you in English and I just couldn’t say anything else but thank you in English.  My brain was goop.

I walked away from Uruha on shaky legs, got my VIP little towel, and then collapsed against a wall and started sobbing.  11 and a half years waiting for an opportunity to thank them, face-to-face, finally brought to an end last night and it all just crashed down on me in that moment.

My friend who was behind me came out crying and came straight to give me a hug and we just hugged and cried for almost a minute, just standing there.  Aoi had wished her a happy birthday, as expected, but Reita did too.  That’s why he had been staring at me while I spoke to Aoi lol.

I just wandered around with my friends inside the venue, trying to keep from sobbing completely because ain’t nobody need that kind of attention from a venue’s staff.

My friends all parted ways to go back to their respective Airbnbs or hotels while I started my lonely walk back to Penn station.  But I was still kinda crying so I scanned the crowd of people also walking in that direction until I found people I recognized to be from this concert.  Caught up with them and asked if I could walk with them for a little bit so I wouldn’t be a girl walking through the city, alone, crying, at night.  We ended up stopping to get food together and chatting for like an hour before I had to head off to catch my train.

I cried literally off and on the entire way home.  On the train, walking from train to car, driving home, every step of the way.  I ended up being awake for a solid 22, almost 23, hours yesterday.  My throat is still sore today.  My neck hurts so much.  My heart is so full of emotions that I am still so close to crying at any moment.  All of the stress about the semester up until now? Worth it.  All of my worries about finals? Gone.  I met and spoke with (in Japanese) the human beings who inspired me to start learning Japanese in the first place.  I will be graduating from college in 13 days as both a member of Sigma Tau Delta and cum laude.  Not to be overdramatic or cringey or anything but I know for a fact that I would not be at this point in my life if I hadn’t found this band when I was 11.5 years old.  11.5 years later, this is what my life is like.  I have the money to afford to MEET them.  And the opportunity for it.  Life can change so much.  Like, if anyone ever needs a reminder that “it get’s better” this is it!

The first goal was just to see them in concert.  That was ticked off the list in 2016 at their first world tour.  The second was to meet them and be able to say “thank you” to them in person.  That was ticked off the list last night.  The new goal? get them all to autograph my arm, under where I have their logo, so I can get that tattooed as well.  My entire left arm is going to be dedicated to bands that have shaped who I am so there will also be Miyavi tattoos and maybe even some Berryz Koubou tattoos there one day but for now, the goal is their autographs.  So look out for that.

Also, check out all of my beautiful and lovely friends.  I love them all so much and miss you all already!! (I’m the blondie grinning like a dork because I was so happy!)

[neopuff]

I wanna know what happened to your boss who stole your identity... if you feel like sharing you should make posts about it

i cant believe i woke up to over 20,000 notes on that fweiougbwe;goew OK HERE im gonna do this like a reddit relationships thread:

players are: B (boss/thief 27F), C1 (coworker 59F), C2 (coworker 40sF), and me (24F). not a lot.

i worked with B and C1 at Claire’s for well over a year. they knew i had money and yeah i’d let them borrow money to help pay their rent/car payments/etc and C1 always paid me back within a month but B always was like “ill pay you back soon” which was like ok its fine dont stress just…we have an ongoing relationship so i foolishly doubted she was going to steal from me right in front of my face lol

then B quits Claire’s and starts working at Express, promises me a great job at Express to the point where i’ve applied and filled out paperwork (yknow with my drivers license and my SSN) but that job never happened cuz B quit working there. (this is when B opened her first credit card using my information, for Express! which is a crazy expensive clothing store.)

B gets a job at Sally Beauty and tells me i should come work there (this is in july). well, i’m in grad school and i wasn’t going to work for the month of August cuz of friends coming to visit but i was like sure ill work extremely part-time at a store for hair and makeup since i know literally nothing about hair and makeup. C1 was also asked to come work there since the Claire’s we all used to work at was shut down (bankruptcy lol)

things are going fine for a while, C2 is working at Sally’s now too (she’s B’s aunt and they live together.) in September my parents bought a new house 5 and a half hours away and they ask me to house-sit until they move in, so obviously im gonna do that, so i give my two weeks (i gave more like a month but w/e) and on the day before i leave B calls me and says the reason i havent been getting paid by direct deposit is because they never got my drivers license photo. i say thats weird, did they lose it? and she says they mustve so i send her a pic of my license. cuz obviously i wont be in town to pick up my check so i need direct deposit.

ok so fast forward to this monday, C1 calls me and it starts off normal like “hi how are you howve you been” and then shes suddenly like “i have something important to tell you.” and she says C2 saw mail at her and B’s house with my name on it! C2 was complaining about it at work and C1 was like “wtf?” and thought that was suspicious and told me about it. shes like “make a creditkarma account and you can see any credit cards under your SSN”

i go to make a creditkarma account and weirdly enough theres already one under my SSN! and the email is literally [B’s last name][B’s first name]@outlook.com. she wasnt even being subtle or smart. she really thought i’d just never look or wouldnt care???? i dont KNOW.

so obviously i call all the credit report places and im like freeze everything and put fraud alerts on everything!! and i blocked B’s phone number and i blocked her on facebook cuz even if she had an explanation i genuinely wouldnt care at this point

i went to another credit report site for the details and B not only took out a $5000 loan (she bought a new car recently so probably for that), but she opened 7 other credit cards and applied for 25 others. she started this the DAY i left! theyre mostly credit cards for banks but theres the express card, a target card, a disney card????????? also B put her actual phone number and address into the system so theres no doubt that its her.

and then C1 calls me again to tell me that B quit her job at Sally Beauty less than an hour ago and im wondering if she knew i knew or coincidence? since B steals from companies she usually only works at each one for a few months each

so ok, tuesday morning i call the police and then i have to call every single bank and credit union to cancel these stupid fucking cards. i was on the phone for 6 hours (wouldve been longer but i had my online class) just repeating the same info over and over again. and then the police call me back like “so we just spoke to B, she played dumb for a bit but then confessed to everything” and that was a HUGE relief except that i still have 12 more card applications to cancel. cop said “she didnt really have an explanation other than she’d fallen on hard times” and i just…….dont care especially when she quits every job shes store manager of after less than a year. and yea she has two kids and a bum husband and a supportive close family

and it’s now wednesday afternoon cuz i slept thru the morning but i have to call all these other places AND i’m gonna have to drive 5 and a half hours back to my hometown for court sometime in the next two weeks. plus i have to fill out like 30 affidavits for all these banks and credit unions and give them the police report so they know im not lying

also my credit score has gone down significantly because of that Express card she got in March (she’d been doing minimum payments allowed so i wouldnt get notified despite racking up $475 at this one ugly store)

in less than a month she opened $20,000 worth of credit and spent $8400 of it. and since she just QUIT her job i can assume she wasnt planning on paying off any of that debt lol

anyway that’s where i’m at now, i dont know if shes going to jail or what. she sure as hell cant pay any fines. PLUS she already owed me $450 and i was gonna cut her some slack on it but now i want my $450 back lmao

[evesbeve]

~All. Of. Them.~ ☺

99 gay-ish asks

… you know WHAT.

FINE.

I’LL DO ALL OF THEM.

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE TAG, HA V E FUN-

1. how tall are you?

I am 159cm aka 5′3ft!

2. what is your body type?

According to the first Google Image result I got, it’s between “Banana Shape” and “Apple Shape”. I have no idea who came up with these terms. But there you go.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

My nails-

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

My hair is brunette, which is also my natural hair color!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I’d like to think I’m outgoing, but we all know the truth rip

6. are you more femme or butch?

Depends on the day-

7. are you tol or smol?

I definitely wouldn’t call myself tol, so smol, I guess!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Sober Mom

9. weird habit?

The door has to be either fully closed or fully open. Don’t fite me on this-

10. favorite meme?

Too many to count, but this is one of my favourites right now-

but also like, most of my faves at the moment are actually memes with pictures of me and my friends XD

11. do you sing in the shower?

Hell yes!!

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

Yep!

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

(Answered here)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nope, but I’ve seen Aladdin’s counterpart to broadway in London! So it’s like, the exact same thing, but in London XD

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes. Do I think it makes them less enjoyable though? Nope.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

It’s a complicated story, but I have!

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

Gooood, it’s been so long since I’ve played CAH! I have no idea ;;

18. last movie you watched?

I think it was Far From Home!

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m usually the one taking pictures and filming my friends (they better thank me in 10 years) but to be honest, I wish they’d take some more pics of me to look back to too. I do enjoy filming though, so I guess behind!

20. favorite tv show?

Right now, it’s definitely The Umbrella Academy!

21. meaning behind your url

My name is Evelina, and I am online

22. reason you joined tumblr

To follow a project I used to like on YouTube ^^

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

I mean, @clumsinessinperson, @xxwhisperapplexx, @hollsheadcanons and @spinharmony started out as tumblr friends, but now we’ve known each other for more than a year and they’re my best friends in the world ;w;

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Olives. Peas. Crocs.

uPDATE: i READ THAT QUESTION WRONG, I THOUGHT IT SAID THE OPPOSITE, I LOVE ALL THESE THREE THINGS

I do hate BBQ sauce with PASSION though-

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

I mean, only when I got my teeth extracted XD

26. have you had sex?

Nope.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

I’ve never sneaked out before, so nah. My phone caught me on my phone at 5am once, does that count?

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

(Answered here)

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

The ocean’s waves clash at the coast. They drown in themselves. They help the boats move. But sometimes, the ocean is quiet.

30. describe your best friend.

Nearly impossible to describe a 100 people in one sentence, but none of them have braincells.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

NOT AGAIN, ANSWERED HERE.

32. how do you feel right now?

Energetic!!

33. what is your biggest fear?

Dying

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

(Answered here)

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Honestly, uploading my stories.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

MANY TIMES. But hey, that’s life. And that doesn’t mean that it’ll always disappoint you. Keep trying, everyone!

37. something you fantasize about.

MEETING MY ONLINE FRIENDS IRL ;W;

38. last time you cried and why

This morning because I had a fight with my mom lmao

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

Me.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Sure do *dabs*

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@xxwhisperapplexx​, @clumsinessinperson​, @aesthetically-bitching​ and my other irl fren who doesn’t have tumblr but he is a dumbass!!

42. the last time you felt broken?

SEE 38, RIP (I’m okay now tho, dw!)

43. are you starting to realize anything?

I wanna be a director or a scriptwriter or something!! Just work in the movies!!

44. are you more dominant or more submissive?

Dominant, but I can be just as submissive!

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if I love you?? Why would I date someone I don’t love?

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Uhhh look, I’m 16, so the same age, lol. And even if I was older, age doesn’t matter as long as it’s not creepy and predatory, you know?

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

I don’t have a crush at the moment, thANK GOD.

48. do you have any kinks?

Bye.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

(Answered here)

50. how can someone win your heart?

Step One: Stan Ben Hargreeves.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Nop. Never confessed-

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Yes.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

I mean, I wouldn’t trust someone I just met with my life, but I do have faith in people ^^

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I do not,,, have a crush,,,

56. is confidence cute?

Everything positive is cute.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I don’t like someone right now but if it were to happen, I wouldn’t say anything? It’s their life.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Everyone makes me laugh. I must hate the person then XD

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH AAAAA

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yes, like a bazillion times.

61. do you want to get married

I’m open to it!

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Honestly, I was trying to think of a serious answer, I PROMISE, but then I remembered that when I was little my parents had pissed me off so badly, and I quoted a Barbie movie that said “You’re ruining my life!” like an angry toddler.

Then they threatened to never let me watch Barbie again because it was a bad influence, anD I MEAN. It was what it was XD

Note: They never banned Barbie.

63. three things that turn you on.

How did you know I was an android.

64. who do you hate?

Hate is a strong word, lmao.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Unironically, it’s “boo” XD

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A QUESTION LIKE THAT, honestly I do not remember. Probably someone from Winx.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both are valid.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

I don’t look, they hit me in the head.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

All. All the girls.

70. are you good at flirting?

Yes, actually XD

71. who was the first person you came out to?

Probably @aesthetically-bitching​, I think!

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

yeet

73. is your crush wlw?

don’t have a crush, but used to-

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

I have no idea, I’ve known I was bi since 6th grade.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

Not all the steps you walked on are stableBut that’s okayReaching the top requires a few

76. do you fall in love easily?

I’ve only fallen like in love twice. Crushes are way different, and I’d say kinda…?

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yeah. But I hate talking about it.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep. If you notice I’m sad, I want you to notice I’m sad.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Mhm!

80. what is your “type?”

Ironically, Eudora Patch from The Umbrella Academy is a very good depiction of my type. (Note: Personality wise. Looks genuinely don’t matter to me, everyone is BEAUTIFUL.)

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

I am a little spoon inside and out-

82. tall girls or short girls?

Doesn’t matter-

83. hugs or kisses?

Hugs!! kisses kinda make me uncomfortable most of the time to be honest

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

b O T H

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

Tummy-

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Hairline,,,

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair!!

88. making out or soft kisses?

Soft kisses, definitely. Not that I’ve kissed anyone before, but oh well XD

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Neck…? I’d say neck.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

It took me a while, but I am very confident in it right now!

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies™

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

I have, and I told them absolutely nothing

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

*shrugs* young XD

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

All girls are cute girls. So many things.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

THIS QUESTION IS STRESSING ME OUT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CHOOSE. Honestly, Alphys and Undyne are a hard one to top, aND ALSO CANON

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“You’re just confused.”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

… I don’t know what to tell you.

98. what is love to you?

Love is complicated.

To me, it’s not about having a partner. Actually, loving someone regardless of romantic feelings is way more important, in my opinion. These things can co-exist, and loving a friend is just as important loving a lover.

The lack of it can hurt, especially being forced out of it. But feeling love? I don’t know. It’s one of the most beautiful feelings ever. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by it.

I really love this article on it! It’s about the 8 types of love the ancient greeks had, and as I greek person myself, I think highly of it. I highly recommend reading it!

99. ask me anything. (bUt since no one specified, I’ll ask myself: Why do this and what did I learn from this?)

I did this because I am stubborn. Also I genuinely liked the questions XD

What I learned from this experience is that I really love answering questions, oops-

If you made it this far, I don’t know what to tell you. You deserve a golden star, my dude.

ANYWAY, NEVER AGAIN.

[coolpolarbear123]

Band Camp Day 6

If you thought our band director couldn’t make things worse, you’re wrong

August 24th, 2019

Day 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 7

I’m tired in many senses of the word:

First some stuff I forgot from yesterday:

Two nights ago the band was super slap happy and the BD was mad about it but maybe if we weren’t outside for a million hours and had actual indoor rehearsal--

The gang and I are showing up later and later to rehearsal and I’m surprised we haven’t been actually late yet

Okay now for today:

Morning rehearsal we just did a ton of halftime. This time the BD was able to fix our mistakes because he had the music, which Highkey confirmed that last night was a waste of time

We had to relearn a lot

Why are we even doing halftime when we barely know pregame

I learned some clarinet tea: someone went to join colour guard at the beginning of the year, got cut, rejoined clarinets, and they’re slightly annoyed

We got to march to the football practice field to “teach” the footballers how to sing the fight song

Basically we marched there in a parade formation (cool, good practice) and played the fight song for them. We didn’t get to teach them at all technically

When we got there, the football coach was hyping up the team, and we couldn’t respond with hype because we were at attention and that was awkward

Then we played the fight song

Then we got to relax and react a bit

Then we played Dance Again, the band’s national anthem

I was in the back, so I couldn’t see it, but apparently there was just a whole heckin mosh pit so that’s cool I guess

I think it’s kinda fun

So then we had to march back

And fun fact: piccs are in the back

So the genius idea was for the band to just turn around and have piccs in the front

Uh bad idea bad idea

I literally said “nonononononono” and I Know some of the piccs heard it

I was on the edge because I’m a Returner (but that doesn’t mean I’m good at marching, folks)

The first line had two people in it because they were the back

So I was guiding to like my line sort of and my made up place

And it’s not my first time being the corner of a parade, but it’s definitely the worst I’ve ever done

Marching back sucked because of me but whatever we made it in one piece

BD: “We’ll do some halftime then pregame” *we only do halftime*

Lunch!

Half the piccs got together to do a Pokemon Go raid before going back to band and it was pretty fantastic

So the plan was sectionals at 1:30 (after lunch) but it got changed to “Meet in band room first”

It was to put away chairs and stands

Then sectionals

But here’s the deal

Our section leader was really sick

So she wasn’t there until then

Me, texting her: So sectionals are happening, but only come if you think you can Two seconds later, the piccs: Can you text NSL Me: Just did

Us, getting into the sectionals room

Me: Listen up, piccs. Naptime until NSL gets here

We ended up napping for like twenty minutes

NSL got there, and one of the fish piccs was like “Do we have to get up” and NSL straight up said, “No keep napping” and let us go for another fifteen minutes

I was on instagram the entire time because I hate sleeping and naps

But then I was accused of sleeping and I’m still lowkey mad about it

Even though plenty of people stood up for me asdfghjkl

Then we started sectionals

I definitely had a piece of white chalk because I was gonna draw on the chalkboard (I didn’t so I didn’t wake people up)

The chalk was at the board, but I accidentally carried it back to my seat on accident

So I started drawing on myself

(I’m not white)

And I sit in the back so eventually the piccs turned around and were like “[cpb] wtf” “I’m trying to blend in”

Which has the same vibes as when I stole Roommate’s sunglasses (she was up front but her stuff was still in the back) and then was messing around on my phone and it must have been a Look because when the piccs saw they all were like “??????”

NDL noticed almost immediately and gave me a Look

that was like the second day of band camp whoops back to today

Finished sectionals, immediately back to the field

Many pregame

Finally

There was a car parked on where we’re supposed to enter the field so that created Issues

The owner of the car is this one guy who’s,,,, in band? Not in band?? none of us understand

He’s this older dude who fills in spots, but he has a nametag like the rest of us and everything, so

I dunno but he didn’t move it so we were Messy getting on the field

Our drum major brought her dog and her name is Coco and I love her

Technically this was the end of the day (shortened day--ended at 5:30)

We did noncompliance dances, which was some song about cows

One of the returning piccs lives on a dairy farm, and she was very into the song--it was hilarious

yes a member of GB

We didn’t sing, though--not yet

So then our band pres got in front of the band for announcements, and she was like, “Today’s activity is a hike up sugarloaf mountain! We meet here to figure out rides!”

but then here’s where stuff got even messier:

During the week of band camp, we’re supposed to have an elimination block

This is where we get in a block formation and follow commands blindly. Mess up and you’re out. Last one wins

We do it as a band, then just the returners

This is supposed to leave the freshmen paranoid. “Oh no they’re gonna make the freshmen do it” sorta thing

And then you go back to rehearsing as full band without saying anything, effectively confusing the freshmen

We didn’t do this

So as band pres was giving announcements, she said, “We’re gonna march pregame a bit and do an elimination block” so uh that’s spoiled thanks

I sorta get that we have to introduce the concept of it, but we should have done that when we met up after dinner

That entire thing is supposed to be a secret to the freshmen

Especially because of how BD reacted

He was like “Tell them about the rewards!”

And that’s an even bigger secret

So then everyone started whispering “freshman of the year” so surprise: spoiled

So then we completely revealed that, and I had to raise my hand because I was FOTY, and the other two also had to raise their hands but aaaaa

The piccs cheered for me though haha it was sweet

Thankfully, with all of us so tense you could feel it in the air, crash and burn wasn’t spoiled

The fact that we do stuff before sugarloaf was though and it makes me angry

dinner

then the antics

We did a whole band elimination block

I committed suicide--I wasn’t about to do that whole thing

A senior baritone won that

Then it was time for the block that mattered: the freshmen only

Basically the piccs dropped like flies except for maybe two, but they did well

Colour guard won, which nice since they’ve never done that

I should know, I currently have the list

Breaking the streak of only trumpets and drumline getting it one section at a time

Though piccs are slightly annoyed because their DI was a picc and knows the secrets

Then time for crash and burn

What’s supposed to happen is that we set up for pregame, and then they say “returners step out” which effectively freaks out the freshmen

But this time they straight up said “freshmen set up pregame” which ruins that

Then they got to the final block and were being yelled at to stay in set

Then the SL for the percussion gave us their air horn and we went wild

Basically the goal is to get them to break attention

We did a ton of vine references and broke quite a few of our piccs

One of them though was unbreakable so kudos to her, especially since she’s been sick all week and couldn’t do most rehearsals

Picc section has been dying in more than one way

She picks up on stuff so quickly though she’s amazing

Then we went up the hiking trail, hung out at the top, did the senior speeches, got emotional, took some awesome section pictures, amazing GB album covers (that’s what we call our squad pics)

squad piccs

After the senior speeches, we do the cult stuff. Singing the alma mater and fight song. However, before this, we’re supposed to take a pledge--or the freshmen are, at least

However our band pres forgot to get a copy of the pledge, so she had to call the band pres from last year (who graduated) and it was pretty funny

We did the cult stuff first to give him time to send it over

After that NSL called us over to give us a speech and talk about how proud she is of us and dang I love her

I miss mom and dad too, though

The freshmen: Why do you call yourselves gingerbread We made gingerbread houses together,,,, it’s not that interesting of a story

We hiked down

I very quickly figured out that my dinner of Lots of Bread wasn’t quite enough

My friends fixed that real quick

We also played pokemon go this entire time

And uh yeah that’s pretty much the day. I’ve been typing this on and off for two hours so I’m gonna go sleep

But also, another thing from yesterday:

At lunch I misheard someone say something and heard the word “wet” instead. But my dumb brain also took that as slang for “rad” so guess what the picc section says now

Yeah it’s pretty wet

Did I explain that yesterday? I dunno but I wanted to make sure you guys knew because it’s a Thing along with the handshake and I’m excited

Have I talked about the alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic song? I’ll try to mention it tomorrow if not

Have I mentioned how much we talk about vines because that’s still happening it’s honestly fantastic

A new vine reference every five seconds really

Tomorrow is a short day. Expect a shorter post. 

[theawordnotsosecret]

7-31-2019

I’m pretty depressed today I did a WRAP group this morning and it was ok; I wish I had started the beginning of the book so that bothered me and made me anxious because I am so far behind everyone else. I wish I was on the same level I feel like I’m not at smart in this group because they know more. We talked about triggers; I think. So I’ve been thinking of different things that make me feel certain ways. Best place for that is Facebook since I spend most time there.

1)      I wish my husband wanted to and could afford and would take me on dates.

2)      I wish I had a real wedding. Even if I did for a renewal though id have no one in the wedding party (no friends) and no one to attend (no family)

3)      I wish I had a home. I never feel like I have a home as I keep renting so can’t decorate as I want and never in one apt for long.

4)      I feel fat. I wish I could get weight loss surgery to make myself skinny and therefore prettier and able to buy clothes I want.

5)      I wish I was way better at putting on makeup and could afford good makeup. I’d be pretty then.

6)      I wish I could afford and go on a vacation. I want to go camping or to a theme park, maybe visit another state. I feel like I’ll never afford that.

7)      I miss my son. My mother is breaking court orders by not letting me have him as I have to have weekly visits and I’m allowed to have him unsupervised if ok with my “parents”, yet they refuse. Judge doesn’t care and wont listen to me. Wish I could find or afford a lawyer

8)      I wish people talked to me, invited me places or even just to their house for a movie and glass of wine. I wish people wanted a relationship with me. I feel so lonely.

9)      I wish I was not in pain and able to afford and find a place so I could go fencing again or learn horseback riding.

10)   I feel like my childhood was rather abusive due to my mother being mean to me all the time. Verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive but denies it.

11)   I’m scared of large crowds because of the shootings, and 9/11, and terrorists. I’m scared of going to a building or something and someone freaks out and kills us all

12)   I wish people would want to be my friends. I know everyone gets busy but feel like I’m not worth a nanosecond of their time and so not important and therefore not missed, invisible

13)   Wish I had the money to go on lavish b=vacations and I am extremely jealous when I see people that can afford it bragging and it hurts that my kids won’t get that because I don’t deserve it

14)   I wish my husband took pics with me, or I had a friend to take pictures with. I don’t think I have but ONE single pic of me and J from my 16th birthday party. And I think she is the only one that ever showed up.

15)   No more than 2 people have ever showed up for a party I threw for myself

16)   No one has ever planned a party for me and that makes me sad that no one loves me enough to do something for me

17)   I have never been invited to a party besides a sleepover in 3rd grade/ only because the whole class was invited. I remember her name and face. Haven’t heard from her since then. But I do remember sitting alone with my feet in her pool the whole time sad and lonely.

18)   I wish I had family that actually loved me and cared.

19)   I miss my nephew and fear I will never be able to meet his brother.

20)   I wish people understood mental illness more. It hurts and no one knows and its HARD AF to reach out.

21)   I wish depression didn’t rule my life and feel permanent

22)   I hate my body and every single part of it. I wish I was someone different

23)   I miss my guinea pigs and I love all animals; I wish I had room and money for all kinds of animals

24)   I really really really HATE my husband’s son. I will have to have a whole entry on him alone.

25)   I wish I could afford anything. Birthday party for my kids (and SOMEONE to show up) I want to treat them but its my fault we don’t have enough money because I can’t get and keep a job

26)   I wish I could afford a car and insurance and registration. I’ve never had that and feel like I never will because I don’t deserve it

27)   I wish I could afford haircuts, braces, manicure and pedicures, anything that would make me feel pretty

28)   I wish I wasn’t in so much pain that I literally can’t move some days for a long time. I wish I was pain free and that the doctors believed that I’m in pain

29)   I miss being pregnant and regret getting my tubes removed. I wish I could have another baby so bad

30)   I wish I had the money to try all the arts and crafts I see. I miss doing them, it always made me happy, now I’m sad that I can’t do them

31)   I wish I could try to make all the foods and desserts. Can’t afford it

32)   I wish I had been taken by cps or aborted. I hate my biological parents because I feel they never loved me

33)   I am so scared of all the crime in town I wish I could leave

34)   I hate cps and never want to deal with them again

35)   I wish I could make someone proud

36)   I wish I deserved happiness

37)   I wish my dad was a better person towards me

38)   I wish my mom was a better person towards me

39)   I wish my whole family treated me like a family member instead of an enemy

40)   I wish I had money to flaunt

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I hate myself. And depression and anxiety.