#5.11.18

[heylookitskaylee]

"Input good to output good."

5.11.18 // watercolor and pen on paper

[samsi6]

solange nichts belegbar bleibt ist glaube

solange nichts erklärbar scheint ist liebe

solange nichts in worte gefasst werden kann ist hoffnung

wenn nichts mehr ist ist alles vorbei...

[notsofine]

5.11.18

When I am overwhelmed I not only refuse to reach out, I withdraw. I run and hide because it feels like that is the safest thing to do. It is the only thing I know how to do.

Call from an unknown number. Not ready to be a person, not ready to answer so I let it ring out.

Apparently my referral from my Case worker has gone through and this is my new psychologist. She has called and said to call her back to schedule an appointment.

I am not ready. She doesn’t sound anything like T. I should call back but right now I am stuck and I cannot.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Release the Spyce episode 5 was fun etc. This show’s fun to watch but it leaves little to say regarding individual episodes. Momo had a little arc about overworking herself which is a tired trope so thankfully they drop it quickly and let her rest by having a birthday party. She also blah blah blah Yuki and Momo bond as master and student. Idk. 

Look a Nendoroid. She’s cute.

[inkedrefuge]

masterpieces

we were never meant to end like this

lives a warped version of the original,

pristine vision.

some picture perfect, a glazed replica

until the eye swoops in close

and catches the hairline cracks

ghosting the surface.

others fly beyond the mark,

clinging loosely to the idea

but veering away with each stroke,

the result a heaving, shifting abstract,

but straight backed in it's strange glory.

it is mine that hovers in between,

the piece eyes don't bother to lurk on,

slipping past with ease and a disapproving glance.

i am a crude sketch of the original,

a pencil skimming first draft

designed to be built upon,

but never reaching it's potential freedom.

instructions say 'best to burn'.

i am beginning to believe them.

[endometriosis-andme]

Follow up

So I had my follow up appointment today after my lap in July, I told the nurse that nothing has changed and every symptom is exactly the same as before.

She said the only way they can think of to stop the pain and calm my symptoms would be the Depo injection, I've been on the injection for over 3 years now and it has done absolutely nothing, well except stop my periods. But with the pain I may as well be having a period, I'm getting everything else anyway. She just suggested different forms of pain relief, some I've already tried and have done nothing at all.

So I've come away exactly the same as I did 3 years ago except I have a label for what im going through, here's to powering through and to helping ourselves

[unendlichkeitenstille]

und jedesmal wenn ich aus dem frei zur arbeit gehe kommt diese eklige nervosität zurück. ich weiß was ich tun muss, ich weiß was ich bisher kann und darf und wie der tagesablauf ist aber der druck ist trotzdem da. die angst fehler zu machen, was zu vergessen, meine ständige unsicherheit und zweifel. jeden tag aufs neue.

[missinvisibleandco]

“The Prince, The Night, And The Clown Wig”

(5.11.18)

[indescribablyinlove]

every time i learn something new about you, i fall a little harder for you. your life and your past, so vastly different from mine, and yet, i feel more of a connection with you than i ever have with anyone before. things that, before i met you might’ve pushed me away or scared me off from someone else, i suddenly see in a new light and am better able to understand or take in stride or see the beauty and wonder in things i couldn’t see before. 

 you’re still scared of opening up to me completely, i think. there are things you’re still hiding, maybe afraid that i’ll run if i found out or think you’re too “weird” - a word you keep using to describe yourself and your interests. how do i tell you that when i look at you, i see nothing but beauty, nothing but someone i want to love and support and take care of for as long as i’m able? i want to know everything there is to know about you, i want to love you for everything you are and everything you have been and help you make up for all of those years you thought you weren’t worthy.

I don’t know if you feel the same way about me. Do you smile when you think of me? Do you miss me when i leave for the night? Does the thought of kissing me make your stomach flip too? Do you see the same magic in me that I do in you? The truth is, I don’t know how you really feel about me, and I can’t imagine myself worthy of the affection of someone like you, but if you feel even a fraction of the same things I feel for you, I would consider myself the luckiest person alive.

[closetgremlin]

"

Tell me something you've never said out loud before.

He paused, thinking. His eyes slid towards the mirror he knew was double-sided, towards the one behind the glass - he couldn't see them, but he knew. Even without his magic, he knew. He stared at where he thought their eyes were for a moment, then his gaze shifted down to the table in front of him.

He was silent awhile. He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, brought one up subconsciously and started biting on a small button on the cuff. His gaze grew deep and far, reaching into himself. Something he'd never told anyone…

"When I was younger," he started finally, voice soft and quiet, "my best friend was afraid of thunderstorms. Terrified, even. I would always try to distract them from it when one came along - singing, music, movies, whatever." He paused, eyes moving to a spot on the demon's torso above the table. "I used to love thunderstorms because of that. Because it felt like… like I was the only one who could, I suppose. The only one who could ever calm him down, or comfort him, or…" He trailed off, lost in thought.

There was a long stretch of silence.

"'Used to'?" the demon asked.

He looked up, meeting the demon's eyes this time. His eyes were dark, mostly in a place inside himself still, and it took him a moment to process what the demon said. He stared blankly.

"'Used to'," the demon repeated. "You said you 'used to' love thunderstorms. What happened?"

He blinked slowly.

"I don't have to answer that," he said slowly, stiffly, eyes distant, but… guarded, now.

"No," the demon said simply, honestly. "You don't. Curiosity, is all."

He stared a moment longer, then gave a simple shrug.

"Bittersweet, is all," he said simply, honestly.

He said nothing more.

"

[avi-arts]

Day 491: 

5.11.18 

Some doodles from work

[daily5sosupdate]

Calum & Ashton - 5 November 2018

x

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

She is pretty holy Christ

[denise-alwaysuselove]

Imagine...

I used to imagine the worst when something was coming up and I didn’t know what to expect. I figured it was better to prepare for the worst and not be disappointed, rather than expect the best and be upset if it didn’t happen.

Then I listened to someone much wiser than I. He pointed out that since we can’t predict the future, whatever scenario we’re creating, we’re making it up. In that case, why not visualize what we want to happen? The key is to put that out to the universe, then let it go. We can’t be attached to the outcome.

Sam and Cait are both attending the BAFTAs this Sunday. They were loving, attentive, and hands-on at the BAFTA event last November, looking like the couple we used to see. 

Considering Sam’s “We are together, and we do work together” declaration; their mutual support for their respective marathons; Sam and Eddie watching Cait’s marathon from her bed; Sam’s marathon selfie that he made sure Cait was in; their crazy tweetfest for Sam’s birthday (including his “Love you”), there’s no reason for me to imagine anything less. So here’s what I’m choosing to do:

I’m envisioning them acting like the married couple I believe they are. I’m seeing them arriving in the same car, Sam helping Cait out like the gentleman he is, and then walking the red carpet together openly and proudly with their arms wrapped around each other. I’m envisioning them sitting closely together at their table, as they did at the 2016 Golden Globes where Cait was a nominee.

The stars aligned to bring Sam and Cait together. May those same stars align again to bring them the freedom they deserve. 

(The 1st gif is by @jamesandclairefraser​. Let me know if the 2nd gif is yours.)

[skamitaliasubs]

SKAM Italia S2 Masterpost

Texts, ig posts and clips translated by @solo-silenzio. Clips subbed by @loving-nicotino.

Trailers

1. Sunday 16.09.18 at 11:00 - First trailer

2. Thursday 27.09.18 at 12:41 - Second trailer

Episode 1 - Non ti ho mai visto

1. Friday 5.10.18 at 22:10 - Instagram Story

2. Friday 5.10.18 at 22:37 - Clip “Illegale” (part 1 - part 2)

3. Saturday 6.10.18 at 1:48 - Instagram story

4. Saturday 6.10.18 at 11:32 - Clip “Svegli”

5. Saturday 6.10.18 at 12:08 - Instagram post

6. Saturday 6.10.18 at 16:31 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri

7. Sunday 7.10.18 at 08:54 - Instagram post

8. Sunday 7.10.18 at 11:31 - Instagram post

9. Sunday 7.10.18 at 14:36 - Instagram post

10. Monday 8.10.18 at 10:29 - Instagram story

11. Monday 8.10.18 at 13:02 - Clip “Pirulo”

12. Tuesday 9.10.18 at 15:24 - Instagram story

13. Tuesday 9.10.18 at 17:23 - Instagram story

14. Wednesday 10.10.18 at 12:12 - Clip “Idiota”

15. Wednesday 10.10.18 at 14:29 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri

16. Wednesday 10.10.18 at 18:10 - Chat with Sana

17. Wednesday 10.10.18 at 18:30 - Audio message from Silvia

18. Thursday 11.10.18 at 17:01 - Instagram post

19. Thursday 11.10.18 at 17:30 - Instagram post

20. Thursday 11.10.18 at 17:33 - Instagram story

21. Thursday 11.10.18 at 17:41 - Clip “Radio Osvaldo”

Episode 2 - Nessun risultato

1. Friday 12.10.18 at 9:40 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri

2. Friday 12.10.18 at 13:39 - Instagram story

3. Friday 12.10.18 at 14:42 - Instagram post

4. Friday 12.10.18 at 15:04 - Instagram story

5. Saturday 13.10.18 at 21:40 - Instagram story

6. Saturday 13.10.18 at 22:18 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri (video)

7. Saturday 13.10.18 at 23:18 - Clip "Superdotati"

8. Sunday 14.10.18 at 11:12 - Chat with Filippo

9. Sunday 14.10.18 at 14:03 - Instagram story

10. Monday 15.10.18 at 13:14 - Clip "Mani in Pasta"

11. Monday 15.10.18 at 16:12 - Instagram post

12. Tuesday 16.10.18 at 11:55 - Clip "Niccolò"

13. Wednesday 17.10.18 at 15:08 - Chat with Emma

14. Wednesday 17.10.18 at 18:27 - Instagram post

15. Thursday 18.10.18 at 15:17 - Instagram story

16. Thursday 18.10.18 at 16:06 - Instagram story

17. Thursday 18.10.18 at 21:17 - Clip "Concerti"

18. Friday 19.10.18 at 14:09 - Clip "Tabasco"

Episode 3 - Virilità

1. Saturday 20.10.18 at 15:10 - Clip "Punizione"

2. Saturday 20.10.18 at 16:58 - Instagram story

3. Saturday 20.10.18 at 19:37 - Instagram post

4. Sunday 21.10.18 at 16:16 - Instagram post

5. Monday 22.10.18 at 11:03 - Instagram story

6. Monday 22.10.18 at 19:45 - Clip "Eterosessuale"

7. Tuesday 23.10.18 at 14:32 - Clip "Verrai con Me"

8. Wednesday 24.10.18 at 14:09 - Clip "Argentina"

9. Wednesday 24.10.18 at 16:25 -Chat with I Contrabbandieri (video)

10. Thursday 25.10.18 at 14:07 - Instagram post

11. Thursday 25.10.18 at 20:26 - Chat with Emma

12. Friday 26.10.18 at 19:29 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri

13. Friday 26.10.18 at 21:17 - Instagram story

14. Friday 26.10.18 at 21:21 - Instagram post

15. Friday 26.10.18 at 22:07 - Instagram story

16. Friday 26.10.18 at 22:14 - Clip "Ammucchiate"

Episode 4 - Trattenere il respiro

1. Saturday 27.10.18 at 9:40 - Instagram post

2. Saturday 27.10.18 at 12:08 - Chat with Emma

3. Sunday 28.10.18 at 11:47 - Clip “P.S.”

4. Monday 29.10.18 at 11:58 - Clip “Bastardate”

5. Monday 29.10.18 at 17:53 - Chat with Sana

6. Tuesday 30.10.18 at 10:38 - Instagram post

7. Tuesday 30.10.18 at 14:05 - Clip “Evoluzione”

8. Tuesday 30.10.18 at 18:26 - Chat with Niccolò

9. Wednesday 31.10.18 at 21:51 - Instagram story

10. Wednesday 31.10.18 at 22:46 - Clip “Halloween”

11. Wednesday 31.10.18 at 23:37 - Texts from Emma

Episode 5 - L’ultimo uomo sulla Terra

1. Thursday 1.11.18 at 10:53 - Clip “Nel Mio Letto”

2. Thursday 1.11.18 at 22.17 - Instagram story

3. Friday 2.11.18 at 11:54 - Clip “Seguimi”

4. Friday 2.11.18 at 14:22 - Text to Niccolò

5. Saturday 3.11.18 at 16:00 - Texts to Niccolò

6. Sunday 4.11.18 at 21:12 - Instagram story

7. Monday 5.11.18 at 13:01 - Clip “Ce Ne Siamo Accorti”

8. Monday 5.11.18 at 15:37 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri

9. Tuesday 6.11.18 at 8:10 - Chat with Niccolò

10. Tuesday 6.11.18 at 11:27 - Clip “Pausa”

11. Tuesday 6.11.18 at 13:22 - Instagram post

12. Wednesday 7.11.18 at 18:16 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri

13. Thursday 8.11.18 at 15:31 - Clip “Pride”

14. Friday 9.11.18 at 21:46 - Instagram post

15. Friday 9.11.18 at 21:52 - Clip “Quante Cazzate” (part 1 - part 2)

16. Friday 9.11.18 at 22:10 - Instagram post

Episode 6 - City-Real

1. Monday 19.11.18 at 7:30 - Clip “Assenze”

2. Monday 19.11.18 at 15:32 - Chat with Sana

3. Tuesday 20.11.18 at 13:54 - Instagram post

4. Tuesday 20.11.18 at 17:42 - Clip “Quando Parlo”

5. Wednesday 21.11.18 at 14:28 - Clip “Di Nuovo”

6. Thursday 22.11.18 at 13:05 - Clip “Lei è lo Psicologo”

7. Thursday 22.11.18 at 17:52 - Chat with Silvia

8. Friday 23.11.18 at 13:12 - Clip “Effettivamente”

9. Friday 23.11.18 at 17:05 - Instagram story

Episode 7 - Il mago dell’amore

1. Saturday 24.11.18 at 13:30 - Texts to Niccolò

2. Sunday 25.11.18 at 14:25 - Chat with Filippo

3. Monday 26.11.18 at 8:11 - Clip “Era per Lui”

4. Monday 26.11.18 at 13:59 - Instagram story

5. Monday 26.11.18 at 16:15 - Chat with Giovanni

6. Tuesday 27.11.18 at 15:50 - Clip “Ti Fidi di Me, Rose?”

7. Tuesday 27.11.18 at 21:01 - Chat with Filippo

8. Wednesday 28.11.18 at 11:56 - Clip “Pace”

9. Thursday 29.11.18 at 14:17 - Clip “Antidoto”

10. Thursday 29.11.18 at 17:37 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri

11. Friday 30.11.18 at 15:46 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri (video)

12. Saturday 1.12.18 at 9:15 - Clip “Sto a Bracciano”

13. Saturday 1.12.18 at 12:20 - Instagram story

14. Saturday 1.12.18 at 15:35 - Instagram post

15. Saturday 1.12.18 at 16:25 - Instagram post

16. Saturday 1.12.18 at 21:42 - Clip “Due Ore”

Episode 8 - Buon viaggio

1. Sunday 2.12.18 at 10:41 - Clip “Patatine e Marmellata”

2. Sunday 2.12.18 at 15:29 - Instagram post

3. Monday 3.12.18 at 13:38 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri

4. Tuesday 4.12.18 at 14:37 - Clip “Link”

5. Tuesday 4.12.18 at 15:44 - Instagram post

6. Tuesday 4.12.18 at 16:43 - Chat with Niccolò

7. Wednesday 5.12.18 at 14:36 - Instagram post

8. Wednesday 5.12.18 at 16:43 - Clip “Mia Mamma”

9. Wednesday 5.12.18 at 19:41 - Chat with Niccolò

10. Thursday 6.12.18 at 14:08 - Chat with Filippo

11. Friday 7.12.18 at 7:42 - Chat with Niccolò

12. Friday 7.12.18 at 7:59 - Clip “Hai Mai Visto il Bar di Wes Anderson?”

13. Friday 7.12.18 at 15:50 - Clip “Tu Non Sei di Milano” (part 1 - part 2)

Episode 9 - Follie

1. Saturday 8.12.18 at 1:12 - Chat with Filippo

2. Saturday 8.12.18 at 8:15 - Clip “Il Treno delle Nove”

3. Sunday 9.12.18 at 12:10 - Clip “Vediamo”

4. Sunday 9.12.18 at 16:05 - Chat with Sana

5. Monday 10.12.18 at 13:00 - Instagram story

6. Monday 10.12.18 at 13:10 - Instagram story

7. Tuesday 11.12.18 at 11:55 - Clip “Namacissi”

8. Tuesday 11.12.18 at 13:09 - Instagram post

9. Wednesday 12.12.18 at 11:07 - Instagram post

10. Thursday 13.12.18 at 17: 02 - Clip “Io Sto Bene”

11. Thursday 13.12.18 at 18:11 - Text to Niccolò

12. Friday 14.12.18  at 15:07 - Chat with Giovanni

13. Friday 14.12.18 at 20:50 - Clip “La Grotta”

Episode 10 - Minuto per minuto

1. Saturday 15.12.18 at 11:02 - Clip “Martino e Niccolò”

2. Sunday 16.12.18 at 10:15 - Instagram story

3. Sunday 16.12.18 at 14:17 - Chat with I Contrabbandieri 

4. Sunday 16.12.18 at 14:17 - Extra: Chicco’s tutorial & transcript

5. Monday 17.12.18 at 10:00 - Clip “Le Circostanze”

6. Monday 17.12.18 at 18:14 - Instagram story

7. Tuesday 18.12.18 at 14:07 - Instagram post

8. Tuesday 18.12.18 at 14:57 - Clip “Si Vede”

9. Wednesday 19.12.18 at 13:36 - Clip “Classifica”

10. Wednesday 19.12.18 at 14:40 - Instagram post

11. Wednesday 19.12.18 at 14:43 - Instagram post

12. Thursday 20.12.18 at 16:22 - Instagram post

13. Friday 21.12.18 at 8:15 - Instagram post

14. Friday 21.12.18 at 19:32 - Instagram story

15. Friday 21.12.18 at 20:15 - Instagram story

16. Friday 21.12.18 at 21:07 - Clip “Sono Io” (part 1 - part 2 - part 3)

17. Friday 21.12.18 at 21:37 - Instagram post

Extras

1. Bloopers - transcript by @madeforgardens

2. Interview with Federico Cesari - transcript by @corcordiums

[coffeeandlawschool]

5.11.18 i slept in today, but now it’s time for a whole day of studying. and as you can see i wasted three minutes on taking these pictures 😅