#50/50 on whether dick decided to go off on his own or just got distracted

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Dick Grayson as Robin at the very beginning of his tenure accidentally and perfectly imitating that thing that Batman does where he disappears in the middle of a conversation the second the other person's back is turned like

Robin: So what's next, Batman?

Batman: there have been reports of unidentified shipments coming through the southeast harbor. *turns around* we-

Dick Grayson, who is a menace and also has adhd: *gone*

Bruce, who just lost his 10 year old child: fuck.

Bruce thinks its karma. Gordon thinks its hilarious.

[sunlight-moonrise]

Satisfied Curiosity (Reid Imagine)

Summary: Bartender!Reader does everything she can to get the cute FBI agent’s attention. 

A/N: This wasn’t suppose to be so long or late, but my mind got the best of me. Big Thanks to @spencer-reid-in-a-pool and @reidetic​​ for being amazing Betas (you guys are precious!). This story would be utterly unintelligible without them. Also thank you to everyone who showed love to my first fic. I didn’t expect for it to receive half of the attention it was given. I’m super grateful and I hope to provide more for you all. Enjoy!

Category: Smut

Content Warnings: Sexting, Oral (Male Receiving), Fingering, Penetrative Sex, Rough Sex, Degradation

Word Count: 9.1K (sorry, not sorry)

Masterlist

I’d like to think that I’m able to read people pretty well. Since working as a bartender for the past five years, I can examine an individual and have their personality down pat. Facial expressions, body language, posture, gestures. All these things are basically words to a story that I am able to put together.

My thought process was cut off when I noticed these two guys sitting at the end of the bar. I regarded them momentarily. They don’t look like the typical bar patron, their clothing a little too unseemly for a place like this. They were surveying the area as if looking for something. 

I got a side profile of the tan Hispanic man. He had dark curly hair and trimmed facial hair. He was talking lowly to the man he was sitting with, their eyes still skimming all over their surroundings. I couldn’t get a good look at the other guy since his back was to me.

They sat tall, their bodies alert to any movement. It was as if it was their first time at a bar, but I know they were not uncomfortable here. There were no jittery movements from what I can see; no telltale signs that they were nervous. They also were not paying much attention to the people around them, focusing more on random spots within the place. Weird. Are they inspectors? Nah, that can’t be. Drew always gives us a heads up when visitors come. Plus, we got checked a few weeks ago.

The two finally turned towards my direction, and I was able to see the other guy. Wow, he was hot. Like very hot. Loose brown curls sat wildly on his head, looking as if he just rolled out of bed. He had a light stubble going on, highlighting the sharpness of his jaw. Damn, I bet I’d cut myself just touching it. He had a beautiful pair of pink lips. I quickly turned my attention to his left hand, noticing the lack of a ring. No wife, good. Now I need to make sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend or fiancée waiting for him at home.

I trailed my eyes upward, noticing that he was staring at me as well. I felt my face heat up when I saw him smirk. Damn, he caught me checking him out. His companion was also looking at me expectantly. They probably have been trying to get my attention for a while now, most likely to order some drinks. I made my way towards them, smoothing my hands over my jeans.

“Evening fellas, would you like to see a menu?” I asked as I placed some napkins in front of them.

“No thanks, but my partner and I would like to ask you some questions…” said the Hispanic man with a small pause. He quickly looked at my name tag before looking back at me “…(Y/N)”

The fuck? Partners? I didn’t think they were a couple. I did a quick glance over at them. Two Alpha males in a relationship rarely ever work out. They were not physically close to one another either. Sigh, you always fall for the ones you can’t get.

I didn’t answer them, still mentally distraught over this taken man. I’m sure they took my silence as confusion because the Hispanic man went on to explain, “I’m Luke Alvez and this here is Dr. Spencer Reid,” they flashed their badges, showing me some credentials. “We’re with the FBI.” Oh. I glanced toward Dr. Reid, a smile tugging on my lips. Score, we’re back in business.

I figured I might be here for a while so I got myself comfortable. Well, as comfortable as I can get standing behind a bar. I leaned towards them, my hands resting on the bar top. “Well, in that case, fire away.”

“Have you noticed any males here who arrived by themselves? This man likely sits alone, only interacts with women. He presents himself as a charming gentleman. His head would be facing downwards if he were sitting at the bar and he would probably wear some kind of hat to shield himself,” asked Luke.

“That’s roughly 50% of my male patrons, you’ll have to be more specific.”

“Yea, I should have figured that is not much to go by.”

I turned my attention back to the doctor who has yet to say a word, noticing that he was once again looking at random spots around the bar. “Your friend here is awfully quiet.”

At my comment, Spencer finally looked at me. I am sure that time stopped as his honey-colored eyes stared deeply into my own. If it wouldn’t come off strange, I’d stared at them all day.

He eventually turned away from me, “This place has a lot of blind spots.” He pointed to one corner by the back and another near the billiards table. It took a moment for me to comprehend what he was saying since I was distracted by the sound of his voice. He could probably recite Shakespeare and I’d think it was erotica.

He continued talking, oblivious of my swooning. “The man we are looking for does not want to be seen, he’ll know where to be so that the camera can’t spot him. He’ll likely bring the woman he’s talking to there or even over there,” he pointed to another spot, this time it was a small crook partially hidden behind a wall.

“The area by the restroom entrance also has no camera at all so he’ll possibly spend some time there as well,” he finished.

“I’d think I’ll notice some creep hanging near the bathrooms all night,” I remarked. “However, we have a security room in the back if you want to look over some footage.” I pointed to a door opposite the kitchen’s entrance.

“That’ll be very useful, thanks,” Luke reached into his pocket and took out his phone. He turned to Spencer saying “I’ma call Garcia, see if she can run some facial recognition on this guy.” With that, he walked to the security room.

I focused my attention back on Spencer, hoping he’ll stay here a bit longer. “May I ask you a question?”

“You just did,” he said, the damn smirk on his face once again. Smartass. 

“Haha, I’m serious,” He didn’t say anything, which I took as my cue to continue. “What exactly does someone like you do in the FBI?”

“Someone like me?” he repeated.

“Well, you do not look like a typical agent,” I stated, and he just raised a single eyebrow at me. “Not to say that you’re probably bad at your job. I’m sure that you’re amazing at whatever it is that you do. I’d just like to know exactly what it is. Like what does your job entail…” Great, out of all times for my motor mouth to talk off, it chose this moment.

Spencer didn’t say anything and the awkward pause was killing me. I wanted to grab his gun and shoot myself in the foot. He probably thought I was insulting him. He continued to watch me as I fidgeted under his stare.

Finally, he decided to show me some mercy. “I use psychology to profile and find people,” he put it simply.

“That’s it?” I questioned.

“Pretty much,” he stated evenly, focusing his attention on the napkin in front of him. His body was slightly tenser than before, telling me that he was uncomfortable. I decided to drop the topic.

I scanned his being in an attempt to find something, anything that would allow me to continue talking to him. He beat me to it. “Which Sherlock portrayal are you a fan of?”

I was momentarily confused as to how he knew I was a fan. “Um, I started watching BBC’s Sherlock but I find the books to be much more interesting than the show. Are you a fan?”  

“Of the books, yes. I haven’t had the chance to watch any of the series or films. I always find that reading offers a better experience. That’s a nice pin you have by the way.” 

Pin? I looked down and remembered my “I am Sherlocked” pin clasped next to my name tag. Gosh, I feel like an idiot. Just when I was going to reply, I saw Luke stepping out of the security room. 

I turned back towards Spencer, who was digging his hand into his pocket. He pulled out a card and gave it to me. “The number of the precinct we are helping is on here. If you have any further information, you should contact them.”

What, no. I don’t want him to leave yet. “But what if I want to talk to you more?”

“My number is on the back.” I flipped the card around and was greeted by a ten-digit code sprawled out in blue ink.

A smile adorned my face as I looked back at him. “How did you do that?” There’s not even a pen near his hands. Unless he carries all these cards with his number on it, which I severely doubt.

“You ask a lot of questions,” he stated.

“I’m a naturally curious person.”

He paused for a moment to dart his tongue across his lips. He made sure to look into my eyes before saying “You know that curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back.”

He gave a low laugh, “Touché.”

Just then Luke walked back to us, his phone to his ear. “C’mon man. The team needs us back at the station. There’s been another victim.” 

“We’ll talk later,” Spencer said to me. My heart skipped a beat at his words. I felt like a kid who had a childhood crush.

Spencer got up and with one last glance at my direction, the two of them headed out the door.

Well, there goes the best part of my day. I’m being selfish wishing that he would have stayed behind. The man is here to find a criminal, not get his dick sucked. I folded the card and slid it into my pocket before grabbing a rag. These shot glasses aren’t going to clean themselves.

●The Next Day●

I spent the last few hours debating on whether or not I should text Spencer. I tried to distract myself with mundane activities. I watched TV, did my chores, even attempted to read a book, but nothing kept my interest. I grabbed the card that was sitting idly on my dresser, pondering on what to do.

You shouldn’t. But I’m bored and he’s cute. He’s an FBI agent for crying out loud. He got important things to do. What’s the worst that can happen? You could get arrested for obstruction of justice. Or I can get closer to him and find out more about him.

It is settled. I added Spencer’s number to my contacts and perched myself on my bed before sending a short text.

‘Hello Dr. Reid.’ I waited a minute, then two, then three, anxiously hoping for a response back. This was a bad idea, he’s probably at another bar trying to catch this guy. I should just delete his number and make myself a sandwich.

Right when I was going to do just that, my phone vibrated. I never opened my messages so fast in my life.

‘(Y/N). Is everything okay?’

A smile broke across my face as I pondered on what to send him. Should I keep everything cute and sweet? Nah. That’s boring. Should I send some salacious texts? No, he’ll probably think I am some kind of skank. Perhaps I should go for the playful persona?

I finally decided to type out a message, not wanting him to wait any longer. I don’t need him thinking that I’m in actual danger because I don’t know how to respond to a simple text.

‘I’m more than okay now that you’re here.’

I didn’t have to wait long before his next text came in. ‘Is there something that you need?’

Oh Spencer, if only you knew. However, what I want cannot be attained at the moment. I quickly typed across my keypad, ‘That’s a loaded question.’

Apparently he did not like that since his next reply was, ‘I don’t have time for this. I am working right now.’

Well shit, should I stop? Hell no, we are in too deep. Besides, he could always choose to ignore my messages instead of responding. And he did give me his number instead of just leaving me with the precinct’s. With that in mind, I typed out a text and quickly pressed send before I started second-guessing my choices again.

‘So you don’t want to talk to me?’

Again, I didn’t have to wait long for his next message to come through. ‘You should only contact me if you have information pertinent to the man we are looking for.’

That’s bullshit. Why give me your number if you didn’t want me to talk to you? ‘You said we’ll continue the conversation later. It’s later.’

‘Later, When I am not working.’ he clarified.

If I were a smart girl, I would have left this alone so that he could work peacefully. But I’m not. ‘All work and no play makes for a grumpy doctor. Don’t you want some entertainment?’

‘You’re acting childish.’

I couldn’t help but grin at his statement. If only he knew. Well, I could drop him a hint or two. ‘I’ve been compared to a brat before.’

‘I’m not surprised.’

‘I’m a glutton for punishment, agent.’

‘Do you want me to deliver?’

My breath caught in my throat. Could it be? Does Dr. Reid have a darker side to him? Or maybe I’m reading too deeply into this. I don’t care, I’m having too much fun at the possibility of this man having a more unhinged side to him. I wanted to see it. I decided to be cheeky with him, ‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you Sir.’

‘What are you trying to get at?’ One step forward and two steps back. I guess profiling and mind-reading are not one and the same if he has to ask me this. Or maybe he isn’t used to someone asking him to dick them down without outright saying they want him to dick them down.

‘I said it already, I just want to talk to you.’

It took a couple of minutes for his reply to come through. ‘We’ll talk later.’

I decided to give Spencer a break. I got what I wanted with his earlier comment. I ended everything with an ‘I’ll hold you to that,’ and put my phone down. I looked at the clock on my bedside table and saw that an hour had passed. I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun. I might as well start getting ready for work.

●●●

Four hours into my shift and the crowd near the bar was barely manageable. I’m not a big fan of working Friday evenings. I easily get annoyed with the sloppy drunks who think they could hook up with any of the workers but the tips usually make up for it at the end of the night.

I was grabbing some bottles of beer when all of a sudden I got a twisted feeling in my gut. I felt the hairs in the back of my neck stand up, and not in a good way. Call it a sixth sense, but I suspected that something was wrong, very wrong. I placed the bottles down and looked at the countless customers littered around the bar top. My eyes landed on this man who was giving off some creepy vibes.

I’d like to think I had a pretty good memory and this guy was definitely new. He was hunched over, eyes looking at the menu on the table. He was rapidly tapping his finger on top of the table, so I assumed he was feeling uneasy. Every once in a while, his head would peek up, as if he was searching the crowd for someone. He had a baseball cap on, the hat pressed tightly down on his head, his blond hair barely peeking through.  

From what I can see he was attractive enough. A full-on beard decorated his face. He had on a leather jacket and a fitted shirt; seemingly trying to give off bad boy vibes. I started making my way towards him, “Is there anything you’d like to order?”

“That depends, are you on the menu?” Ugh. Gag. If I had a dollar for every time some Casanova wannabe used that line on me, I could pay for two months of my rent. He had a smile on his face that could be charismatic but I just found it downright disturbing.

“Food and drinks only. Sorry to disappoint.”

“That’s fine sweetheart, I’ll have whatever beer y’all got on tap.” As I walked away, I could feel his eyes leering at me. Should I text Spencer? No, I dealt with creeps before, this is nothing new. 

I turned back to where Mr. Creepy Guy was previously sitting but he was no longer occupying the seat. Fuck. I took a look around the crowded pub, hoping to spot him. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you see it, I did. He was near the bathroom entrance talking to some girl who hardly looked like she could keep herself up.

Shit, I should get Spencer right now. I pondered on whether I should call him but figured that he wouldn’t be able to hear me over the volume of the crowd. I hurriedly pull my phone out of my pocket, trying my best to send the message as fast as my shaky hands can manage.

‘I’m pretty sure the man you’re looking for is here. You should bring some officers ASAP.’

Come on, Come on, Come on, have your cell on you. My phone vibrated, alerting me of a message. Oh thank god yes. ‘Are you serious?’ it read.

What the? Does he think I’m pranking him or something? I angrily typed on my screen, ‘This isn’t exactly something I will joke about Spencer.’

‘We’ll be there soon’ came his simple response. Okay, good. Now I just need to make sure that this guy doesn’t try to escape.

I looked back up and saw Mr. Creepy Guy still near the restrooms. One of his hands was holding on to the girl’s arm and I just knew he was trying to get her out of here. Spencer and company won’t arrive fast enough. I have to do something to make him stay longer.

I turned to my co-bartender, Manny, “I am going to take a 10 minute break.” I didn’t give him a chance to respond before I opened the small door dividing us from the crowd and made my way to Mr. Creepy Guy.

Once I got to the two of them, I spewed the first thing that came to mind, “Uh, excuse me. You um, forgot your drink. You know, the beer. That you ordered. At the bar earlier. About 10 minutes ago.” God, I looked like an idiot, but I couldn’t risk saying something that made him apprehensive.

Mr. Creepy guy sneered at me, “Yeah. I didn’t want it anymore.” Well, who shit in your cereal, mister. Oh right, that would be me. I gotta keep him a bit more distracted.

“Well if you order something, you gotta pay for it. Bar’s policy.” He continued to glare at me upset that I was being a cockblocker. Or more appropriately a murderblocker. Realizing that I wasn’t going away soon, he pulled a bill from his pocket before throwing it at me.  Wow I wonder where his pleasant attitude disappeared to.

I turned my attention to this poor girl and noticed she wasn’t looking too good. I assumed she was drunk but she looked way off it; as if she had been drugged or something.

Fucking hell, she probably has been. She can’t stand on her own two feet and she could barely stop her eyes from drooping downwards.

“Your friend here doesn’t look too good,” I commented, my hand already going towards the arm he wasn’t currently holding on to.

“She’s fine. We were just about to leave, right Sarah?” he asked the girl. ‘Sarah’ didn’t say a word, too busy trying her best to not crash down on the floor.

“Nonsense, we can’t have you leaving in such a state, it would look bad on us,” I improvised. “We’ll give her something real quick to help sober her up.” I hastily scanned the room, spotting Hannah, one of my coworkers, a few feet away.

“Hey Hannah,” I shouted, garnering her attention. I gestured for her to come here and she started walking over. When she stood in front of us, I pried ‘Sarah’ out of Mr. Creepy Guy’s hold and gently ushered her into Hannah’s arms.

“This is Sarah and she’s not feeling all that well. Can you tell Manny to give her the Queen’s special?” Hannah instantly knew what was up. The Queen’s special is our code name for helping those who we believe are in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation. Most of the time, the person is coherent enough to ask for help, but for these kinds of scenarios we’ll have to rely on our own wits.

The two walked, or in Sarah’s case, stumbled away. Hannah managed to give Mr. Creepy Guy a glare which he openly returned in my direction. I gave him a small smile, hoping he didn’t get suspicious and try to leave.

“She’ll be right back, would you like that beer while you wait?” I asked. 

“No, you did enough,” He jeered, taking slow steps back. I could have sworn he muttered ‘fucking bitch’ as he disappeared in the crowd, no doubt hightailing it out of here.

Crap, I should follow him. At least I’ll be able to tell the cops what direction he went or what his license plate number is. I started walking to the exit, shoving my way through the sweaty mass of people.

Once I got to the door, I pushed it open feeling the cool air hit my face. I looked around, trying to see if I could find Mr. Creepy Guy but to no avail. I walked a few steps down, searching to see if he went down an alley or something.

The place was eerily quiet and my nerves were starting to get the best of me. I suddenly felt a hand roughly grab my shoulder and let out an ear-piercing scream. I whirled around, my hand already in a fist to punch the living daylight out of this person.

Right when my hand was going to make contact, a hand closed around my fist. No problem, I’ll just kick you in the shin. My leg was about to leave the ground when I heard a stern “Calm down (Y/N).”

I know that voice. For the first time, I looked up and saw that it was Spencer behind me. I never realized beforehand how easily he towered over my form. He released my hand and I leaned my body against the wall next to me. The adrenaline from earlier leaving me.

“What the fuck Spencer, a little warning next time,” I angrily shouted at him. “You could have said my name before grabbing me or just tapped my shoulder. I don’t like being manhandled.”

“I severely doubt that,” he whispered. Wait, what. “Is the man still inside?” he asked in a louder voice than before.

“Um no. That’s the reason why I came out here. I was trying to find where he went.”

“And you decided to check an alleyway.” I casted my eyes down, paying attention to a piece of gravel on the floor. The tone of voice he was using made me feel as if I was in trouble. “Do you know what kind of danger you just put yourself in?  What if it was him behind you instead of me just now?” he chastised.

“I was fighting back,” I retorted.

“And you were losing that fight. You had no weapon of any kind to help defend yourself. You are no match for a fully grown male who sees girls like you as nothing but property,” Spencer snapped.

I felt miffed that he was scolding me about my safety but a pathetic part of me was turned on as well. I decided to switch this conversation back to what was important. “He’s a Caucasian man. About 5’9 with dirty blonde hair and facial hair. He had a Salem Red Sox cap and a faux black leather jacket. Burgundy henley shirt with black washed jeans and white Adidas,” I recounted from my memory.

He recited everything word for word into his radio. “Go back inside, we’ll take care of it from here.”

“You’re fucking welcome by the way,” I sarcastically stated. Before I could blink, Spencer slammed his hands on either side of my head and was staring intently into my eyes. I felt my heart rate pick up instantly. I didn’t know whether to be scared or horny so my body decided on both.

He had a carnal look in his eyes and I felt a light shiver run down my spine. His tongue darted out, wetting his lips. It was as if it happened in slow motion, my eyes hungrily following the movement. He opened his mouth to speak and I was eagerly anticipating his words.

“Reid, come in. We need you for backup.” What the..? It was then that I noticed his comms were still on and one of his team members was trying to get his attention.

“Go back inside,” Spencer repeated, “We’ll continue this later.” Yeah fucking right. This is the third time you’ve told me this in the thirty hours I’ve known you. Nevertheless, I obeyed but it wasn’t because he told me; it was because I got paid by the hour and I was already gone for over fifteen minutes. At least that’s what I kept telling myself as I walked back inside.

I turned around to get a glimpse of his retreating form but he was already gone.

●●●

It was past midnight and I had about forty-five minutes left until my shift ended. The place was a lot emptier right now, which is pretty shocking. However, I’m guessing no one wanted to be around and get wasted when the cops were roaming about barely an hour ago.

I was pouring some shots for this couple when I felt a vibration in my pocket. I finished serving the duo before fishing my phone out, opening my messages straight away. ‘We caught the guy.’

I didn’t bother reading the name, knowing already who it was. Is it wrong of me to be a bit upset? I’m happy there’s one less criminal on the streets but I wanted to see Spencer some more.

Hmmm. There’s still a chance to make something happen, but I can’t mess it up. I quickly typed, ‘I should get a reward. I did help you catch the guy.’

I assumed that I’d have to wait a few minutes for him to respond but that was not the case. ‘And what is it that you want?’ It’s now or never.

‘You.’

I’m guessing he had his phone glued to him right now because his reply was immediate. ‘You don’t know who you’re dealing with.’

‘I’m not scared Spencer.’ If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he didn’t want me. But all the heated moments we had shared thus far had to have meant something.

‘You should be, I’m not the man that you need.’ was his reply.

I decided to be a bit cheeky, remembering that it gave me some results when I was messaging him earlier today. ‘You’re a man and I am in need, that’s more than enough for me. Save the rest for the pillow talk.’

I didn’t even get to put my phone down before his next text arrived. ‘This isn’t a good idea.’

Damn, this man is a hard nut to crack, but he has made me stubborn for him. I guess I’ll have to use my ultimate weapon.

Taking note of my surroundings, I dimmed the brightness of my phone and made sure to keep it close to my body. I don’t need any of the customers or coworkers to have a sneak peek into my secret album. I opened the app that holds all of my inappropriate photos, pondering on which one I should send to Spencer.

My eyes landed on one I took pretty recently. I’m not trying to sound conceited or anything but I looked fucking hot. It was erotic and sensual, but not overly so.

I was lying on my bed, one hand holding onto my chest while the other held the phone up. My fingers were spread apart, allowing for the taunt nipple of my left breast to peek out. The dim lighting of the lamp helped accentuate the curves of my body. The picture includes the lower half of my face, where I was biting down on my lower lip. I was wearing a white lacy thong that barely left anything for the imagination.

I quickly clicked on the photo and made it so that he’ll have to download the image before seeing it. I added the caption Warning, it’s a bit NSFW, before hitting send. Crossing my fingers, I hoped for a reply soon.

I waited and waited but my phone did not notify me of any new messages. Five minutes have passed and I was shit out of luck. Welp I tried. Now I gotta pick up my pride from the floor.

Suddenly, I felt my phone vibrate and I felt happiness immediately taking over. At first, I thought it was a text message, except the vibrations kept going and going. Realization hit me, it’s an incoming call. I grabbed it quickly, a small squeal leaving my mouth when I saw Spencer’s name appear. I accepted the call and put it towards my ear.

“Hello Dr. Reid, to what do I---“

“When does your shift end?” he interrupted. Well hot damn, no waiting around now huh.

“20 minutes,” came my simple reply.

“I’ll be outside,” and with that, he hung up the phone. Wow, I can’t believe that actually worked.

The next 20 minutes were by far the slowest time has ever went. I kept glancing at the clock, watching as each minute passed at a pain strikingly slow pace. Once it was 12:58 A.M, I already had my bag on my shoulder with my hand on the dividing door.

I made a quick mental check on the inventory I had in my purse. Wallet, check. Phone charger, check. Travel toothbrush, check. Bobby Pins, check. Condom, check. Deodorant, check. Extra panty, check. Yup, I’m ready. I’ve had too many spontaneous sleepovers to not be prepared for evenings like this.

I looked at the time and saw that it was finally 1:00 A.M. I zipped right out of here, making sure to shout my goodbyes as I made my way to the exit. Once out the door, I turned towards the corner and immediately spotted Spencer waiting for me.

I made my way towards him with the biggest smile on my face. “Hi, Spencer.”

“Get in,” he demanded.

“Why the haste?” I asked with a teasing tone behind my words.

“I’ve wasted enough time when it comes to you.” That’s a good enough reason for me. He got in the driver seat while I made my way to the passenger’s side, placing my bag on the floor near my feet.

“My house is a 20-minute drive,” I informed him. “You’ll just have to make a lef—“

“No,” he cut me off. “The hotel I am staying at is 10 minutes away from here.” And this is why I always pack the necessities.

“Alright, you’re in charge, Sir.”

Spencer didn’t respond to my little quip, choosing instead to turn the car on. Fine, play that game of yours. As soon as I put my seat belt on, he pulled out and started driving.

We’ve only been in the car for a couple of minutes before I got a bit antsy. I never did like quiet rides. I turned to him “What took you so long to get Mr. Creepy guy?”

His eyes fleetingly dashed towards my direction before focusing back on the road. “Who?”

“The man that you were looking for,” I clarified.

“We had to be sure it was him,” he stated.

“My description wasn’t enough for you.”

“It was helpful but we had to be certain. He eventually confessed to the crimes while under custody.”

“Oh,” I said. “Umm do you have a girlfriend?” A girl gotta make sure that she wasn’t becoming a homewrecker.

“A. What,” he asked. I’m pretty sure he heard me but I repeated myself anyway.

“A girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Somebody waiting for you at home?”

“I do not. I am not in a committed relationship.”

“That’s cool. Neither am I if you’re wondering,” I said. “So did you like my picture?” Apparently, my mouth does not know when to stop. Although I must admit, I’m curious to know what he thought of it.

We stopped at a red light and he gazed at me before saying “I was with my team when I got your little message. They were wondering why I got quiet all of a sudden.” I would have laughed if he didn’t have such a dark look on his face. “I did not appreciate their curiosity as to what was going on.” The light turned green, and he started driving faster now. Do FBI agents get speedy tickets for booty calls?

“Does that mean you did not like it?”

Spencer didn’t respond and I was about to ask him something else when I realized the car was parked. Oh we’re here, that was fast. He got out and went to open my door for me.

“Wow, what a gentleman.” Still no response from him. I picked up my bag and hopped out while he closed the door behind me. He made sure to lock it before grabbing my hand and leading me to the hotel’s entrance.

I couldn’t even appreciate the interior of the place since Spencer was dragging me to the elevators. He finally spoke after pressing the button for the doors to open. “I’m giving you one more chance to turn back.”

“And miss out on the fun, no way.”

The doors to the lift opened and we stepped inside. They didn’t even close fully before he pushed me against the wall and crashed his lips against mine. Fuck, the moan that left my body was embarrassingly loud; I am sure the receptionists heard it.

I went to put my arms around Spencer’s neck but he grabbed my hands and pinned them to the wall before my fingers could even touch his shoulder.  His knee drew my legs apart, resting in between my thighs. A shudder ran through me, which caused him to tighten his hands around my wrists. I liked that he was releasing the wilder side of him; the side that he kept hidden from others.

He sucked my bottom lip between his and bit down on it. Instinctively, I opened my mouth which he took as a green light to plunge his tongue inside. It was sloppy, it was raunchy, but I loved it.

I was about to start grinding my pelvis against his knee when the elevator doors dinged open. As quickly as he came upon me, he pulled apart. Spencer grabbed my hand once again and tugged me down a hallway. After a few steps, we stopped in front of the door and he went to grab his key from his pocket.

I took the moment to admire him. He was still wearing what I assumed to be his work clothes. His hair looked even more messy than usual. I’d like to think that he was running his hands through it while debating on what to do with me. His eyes seemed darker, no longer the honey orbs I was captivated by the day prior. Nonetheless, they were still beautiful. His lips, my god those lips of his. Puffed out and more pink than normal. I just wanted to kiss him again.

Spencer opened the door to his room holding it open for me. Once we were inside, with the door fully closed this time, he pulled me into another hungry kiss. One of his hands held my face as the other landed on my waist. I dropped my purse on the floor, my hands promptly losing themselves in his hair.

My mouth immediately opened up, wanting to feel his tongue pressed alongside mine once more. He used the hand that was holding my waist to pull me closer until I was flushed against his body. I felt hot. Too hot. I wanted to rip off my clothes and his at this very moment.

Suddenly his face pulled away, much to my disappointment. We were trying to catch our breath as we looked at one another.

“I want you on your knees,” he rasped. I’d love nothing more but we wouldn’t be here if I were obedient.

“And if I say no?” I asked.

“Don’t pretend you’re some kind of bad girl because we both know that is far from the truth.”

“Your profiling skills need some work if you think I am a good girl who follows the rules.”

He tightened his grip on my waist. “I never said you were a good girl.”

“Then what am I?”

“You’re a cock hungry dirty whore who is going to get on her knees or be bent over mine. Your choice.” Well, who am I to argue against such logic. Although the idea of being spanked by him is exciting, I rather see him come undone by me. And on me.

I slowly sunk down to my knees as Spencer started removing his belt and unbuttoning his slacks. I helped him drag his pants and boxers down, low enough to unveil his hard dick. My mouth salivated at the sight of him and I pressed my thighs closer together. Maybe I am a cock hungry dirty whore.

I placed one hand on him, feeling the heated skin against my cooler palm. His dick gave a slight twitch at the difference in temperatures. I closed my hand, delighted by the fact that I couldn’t fit my whole first around his cock. Leaning forward, I placed a small tentative kiss on the head. I glanced up, seeing that he had his poker face on.

Now that wouldn’t do, I want to see Spencer Reid lose control because of me.

I pulled my hand back and brought it to my face. I licked the length of my palm before placing it at the base of his cock again. My opposite hand settled on his thigh to help balance myself. I leaned forward once more and lightly licked the tip before placing it inside my mouth. I sucked gently while firmly grasping the base. He rewarded me with a small grunt.

I moved down, slowly taking him inch by inch. I made sure to get him as wet as I can while gliding my lips against him. My hand pumped the remaining length that couldn’t fit in my mouth. He started to become more and more erect.

“You like this don’t you?” Spencer groaned out, “You’re such a filthy slut for me.” How is it possible that the sound of his voice is making me aroused? He placed his hands on my hair, fisting his fingers among the locks.

I moaned at his words, bobbing my head up and down at a faster pace. I moved my hand to cup his sac, giving him a gentle massage between my fingers. He gave out a choked sound as he started to slowly thrust his hips.

I drew back and kissed my way down his cock until my lips met my hand. I placed my mouth on one of his balls and gave one a light suck before running my tongue around it. “Fucking hell,” Spencer loudly exclaimed, as I returned the same ministrations to the neglected one.

I pulled away with a small pop and dragged my tongue from base to tip. My eyes looked up at him, and the sight was sexy as fuck. His mouth was opened as he was trying to catch his breath, his face slightly flushed. There was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and the veins on his neck were more prominent.

I made sure Spencer’s eyes landed on mine as I wrapped my lips around his now full length. He started thrusting more earnestly this time as my hand went back to massaging his balls. I continued eye contact as I bobbed my head up and down on his cock.

He tightened his hands on my hair harshly, which made me more wet. Great, on top of being a cock whore, I am a pain whore. This man is bringing the worst out of me and I’m loving it.

I made sure to hollow my cheeks and swirl my tongue around his head every time I returned back up. I didn’t think I’d have this much fun with a cock in my mouth. Once I dipped my tongue against his slit and firmly clasped my hand over his sac, it was over for him.

Spencer took over and held my head in place as he started to thrust within me. I tried my best to maintain eye contact, despite the tears swelling up. My other hand clutched at the skin of his thigh, raking my nails over him. His groans were a sweet symphony to my ears. Just when I thought he was about to release himself, he stopped and pulled away from me.

“Why’d you stop?” I pouted, my lips feeling very sensitive as they moved against each other.

He panted heavily and loudly, “I don’t want to cum yet.” I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at the sight of him. He was a mess and it was all because of me.

“But I wanted to taste you.” My hand went back to grab him but he stopped me with a sharp tug of my hair.

“Behave or you won’t get a reward for sucking my dick so well,” he said flatly.

Ohh, I’m curious as to what a reward from Spencer Reid entails. He pulled me up and I had to place my hands on his chest for balance. As my legs were regaining feeling, he was staring at my face. I can already imagine what he sees. Tear stained face with puffy eyes and swollen lips. Apparently, he liked the sight because he pulled me into another kiss.

This one was much more tender than our previous kisses. His lips were soft, as if afraid they would irritate my already swollen ones. His hands cradled my head, gently tilting it up so he has better access. His tongue swirled against mine and I was surprised he wasn’t repulsed by his taste on me. So many guys would find this to be disturbing.

Spencer slowly pulled away from me. He looked into my eyes as he said, “I want you to strip then bend over the bed.”

“What if I don’t?” His once gentle hands on my face are now gripping my cheeks, making my lips pucker. He continued to stare at me and it took everything within me not to moan at his actions.

“I think you know what would happen if you don’t, do you really want that?” As much as I would have loved to mess with him some more, I did not want it at the expense of my orgasm. I’m too horny to be acting recklessly. 

I started stepping away from him, doing as he requested. I would have taken my time removing my clothes, but I was too impatient. As I pulled down my panties, I noticed how damp they were. This man has made me wanton and soaked without even touching me yet.

I went over to the bed, placing myself in the desired position. The bed was tall enough where my feet were still firmly on the floor but I didn’t need to bend my knees to keep my stomach flat against the mattress. 

I watched Spencer strip out of his clothes, making note of the mismatched socks he had on. Aww cute. Once he was bare, he walked up behind me and placed his hands on my hips. For a few seconds, he did nothing while I was readily anticipating his next move.

Finally, I felt his hand cup my mound and I gasped at the feeling. “You’re so wet. All of this because you had my cock in that dirty mouth of yours.” I shuddered at his words, the hairs on my arm rising up.

He started rubbing at my lower lips, spreading the arousal that has already formed all over me. “You have nothing to say now that I got my hands on you huh,” he continued, stroking his fingers against my core.

Just when I was about to say something, he sunk a single finger inside me. I inhaled sharply and buried my head into the sheets. I tried my best to move against him but the hand resting on my hip kept me at bay. He was methodical with his actions, pressing his finger against my walls as he moved in and out.

“Your pretty little cunt is taking my finger so well. You think you can handle another one?” I still couldn’t reply to him, too busy trying to even out my breathing. He then entered another finger. I moaned as he started diligently working those dexterous digits inside of me. My pussy was throbbing while he was working wonders.

A loud moan was torn out my body as Spencer’s fingers curled against my G-spot. “Oh you liked that, dirty girl,” he growled out. He curled his fingers once again and I let out an equally loud whine. He continued this every time he returned his fingers back inside of me; my throat releasing a moan whenever he did so. You’d think with all the time I spent staring at his hands that I’d be ready for him but that’s a big no.

My body was warming up and I could feel the heat pooling within me. I was a goner when a third finger entered me. He tightened his hand on my hip and I prayed that it would leave marks. I wanted to admire the bruises when this was all over.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the pleasure racking my body. I was so close to finding my release. The way I was pulsating around his fingers was a telltale sign that I was upon my release.

“You want to come, dirty girl, you want to come all over my hand?” he fiercely whispered. All I could do was nod against the comforters, my voice long gone by now.

I felt myself pulse and tighten around him. With just one more curl of his fingers, I was about to climax. But he suddenly pulled out and released me.

“What the fuck?” I screeched, voice coming back with a vengeance. “You said I was going to get rewarded you teasing bastard.”

“And you are. Now shut up before I change my mind.” For once, I stayed quiet, only because I really wanted an orgasm. It is the least he could do after making me all hot and bothered.

I turned my head back, wanting to see what Spencer would do next. I whimpered when I saw him put his fingers in his mouth, licking my essence off of him. I watched as he took his time, my pussy continuing to throb at the sight.

“You taste pretty good for such a whore,” he remarked once he was done. I saw him walk towards the nightstand and grab a foil packet. Excitement coursed through my veins, my body barely staying still.

He was behind me once again, and I was ready for him. I felt him rub the head against my lips, pressing down when it met my clit. He continued doing this, moving up and down against me, making sure to coat himself in my arousal. I started to wiggle my hips against him, hoping to gain some more friction.

A loud moan was torn out of my throat when Spencer suddenly grabbed my hips and buried himself inside my pussy. He let out a groan as he stilled within me. We had a moment to adjust to one another before he started rocking against me. He was hitting me deep, touching places that I didn't know were possible.  

“Spencer, you feel so fucking good,” I mewled out, enjoying the feel of his cock against my walls.

He kept a steady rhythm, making sure to pull halfway out before pushing back in. Small moans left my mouth as I tried my best to return his thrusts. His hands on my hips did not allow for much movement, reminding me that he was the one in charge of my pleasure.

My body moved rhythmically against the bed, my sensitive nipples rubbing against the sheet, adding to this blissful feeling. I was burning up from the sensations wrecking my body.

“I want you to touch yourself,” Spencer growled out. I let my hand trailed down my stomach but paused when they got to my lower abdomen. I felt a bump form at my lower abdomen every time he entered me, which only added to my desire. I tightened around him and he let out a groan before giving me a powerful thrust as a warning.

My hand continued its descent to my clit, fingers rubbing against it once they met. Spencer increased the pace, slamming his hips against my ass. My legs started to tremble, my orgasm looming over my body. My hand continued to play with my clit while the other gripped the sheets tightly. I bit down on the comforter, trying my best to quiet down my moans.

One of Spencer’s hands grabbed my hair and pulled my head up. “None of that, I want to hear you. I want everyone in this hotel to know what a filthy little bitch you are. My filthy little whore,” he grunted out.

It was all too much for me. His voice, his cock, his hands. I felt wave after wave of pleasure as my release washed over me. I cried out his name; submitting to the ecstasy my body was experiencing. My muscles went limp as I attempted to return air into my lungs.

I heard Spencer grunt as my pussy pulsed and creamed around him but that did not stop his relentless pace. “Keep touching the clit of yours, I want you to come one more time.”

“I can’t,” I whimpered. I was still recovering from the powerful orgasm I just had. I won’t be able to have another one so soon.

But Spencer Reid was nothing if not diligent. “You can and you will.”

His hand that was in my hair joined mine between my legs. His fingers were so much better than mine. He pressed firmly against my clit, keeping a steady motion against me. He snapped his hips harder, the slight pain making me feel that familiar coil in my stomach.

“I know you have one more in you for me. I want you to give it to me” he uttered. I’m not sure how he is able to do it, but I felt my body start rising again.

“Sp-Spencer. Please.” I didn’t know what I was begging for as I stammered those words out. His hand between my legs pressed harder and his rhythm against me started wavering. I knew he was close to his release, but I was right there with him.

When he pinched my clit firmly against his fingers, I mewled out his name once more. The coil snapped and I couldn’t help the way I trembled once more. My body quaked against his as the shock waves overcame me. I felt as if lightning was running across my nerves.

Spencer thrusted three more times before tensing against me. I felt him jerk and spill himself inside of me. He dropped down, pressing his chest against my back and whispering my name in my ear. We both tried to catch our breaths as we came down from our high.  

After a few minutes, Spencer pulled out of me and walked to a door which I assumed led to the bathroom. I’m guessing he went to dispose of the condom. I continued to lie on the bed, trying my best to catch my breath. My body was still on an all-time high, still reeling from the aftershocks of my climax. I fought against the drowsiness of my eyes, wondering how the hell I am going to stay alert on the cab ride home.

“How are you feeling?” I couldn’t even jump in surprise. I had no idea he returned and was standing right next to me. “I wasn’t too rough?”

“Best. Sex. Ever,” I drowsily responded. Spencer picked me up and maneuvered my body so that I was lying on my back. He grabbed a bottle that was standing on the nightstand; squeezing some cream into the palm of his hand. He rubbed his hands together and started massaging the lotion onto my legs. He focused his attention on my knees and thighs.

“Do you want some water? He asked. I nodded my head and he immediately went to the snack bar area. He grabbed a bottle and what looks to be a granola bar. He uncapped the bottle and gently fed the water to me.

“Do you want some food,” I shook my head at his question. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Cuddles” came my whispered response. Spencer smiled at me before settling on the bed next to me. He draped the blankets over our bodies and wrapped his hand over my waist, pulling me close.

“Goodnight Spencer.”

“Goodnight (Y/N).”

The last thing I felt was the press of his lips against my neck as my body surrendered itself to the sweet bliss of slumber. 

[mythiccheroacademia]

Is this really better?

A/N: After many requests for a part 2, here it is! I’m sorry I made you all wait so long for more heartbreak but gotta keep y’all on ya toes ;) Before you kill me, take comfort in knowing the final part is in the works. I like sad endings, but I won’t do that to y’all...this time. 

Also, the class 1-A girls really rep the “chicks before dicks” motto (as all women should). I remember I had to tell my friends to chill when I told them an ex of mine cheated on me. We made up half the class and I wasn’t trying to see anyone cry. It was deep, but it wasn’t that deep💀 So that part is a bit of an anecdote. 

As always, enjoy sugar plums 🖤

Paring: Sero X Fem!Reader

Warning: cursing, angst 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Is this really better?

The second you stepped out of Sero’s room, there was this relentless buzzing in your ears, filling your head with noise that made your head pound. You could tell someone—maybe Kaminari? Or was that Ojiro? You couldn’t fucking see—was trying to ask you what happened, your tears were thick. Forget hearing him.

All that you could do was walk. Your body had gone into autopilot, it’s only mission to get you out of his proximity, without raising alarm, as quick as humanly possible.

You didn’t know how or when, but soon enough, you threw open the door to the girls’ dorms. It was only 8:00pm, just before Aizawa would preform room checks, so the common room had been cleared to give him the impression everyone was tucked away in bed. It was a blessing. You bolted towards your room, desperate to shove your head under the covers and cry until you couldn’t.

Nearly five sprints down the hallway, you ran into Momo and Mina. The two had just come back from their shower and were talking about the movie the some of the girls were supposed to have later that night. However, they were startled when they saw you stumble back, tears drowning your cheeks.

“Y/N! Girl, what’s wrong!?” Mina asked, quick to hold your arm.

You shook your head, attempting an embarrassingly pathetic smile. “N-nothing. I’m good. I’m just—”

“You’re obviously not,” Momo interrupted, brows furrowing in worry. She took your hand from your eyes, so you had no choice but to leave your face bare. “Didn’t you have a date with Sero? Did something happen?”

The trembling of your lips told them everything they needed to know.

“Sero—Sero and I—"

The mere mention of his name threw you back to the past hour. Now that the buzzing had stopped, you were forced to think of everything that transpired.

Being excited about your date with Sero. Getting ready for your date with Sero. Waiting for Sero. Sero not showing up. Going to Sero’s room. Fighting with Sero. Breaking up with Sero. Sero. Sero. Sero.

Everything that had been built up came crashing down.

Your friends immediately took you into their arms when you crumbled, sobbing into their embrace as your feelings poured out. For a while, you had been so scared that he was losing interest—that school and life had increased his disinterest with you. And when he so quickly, so confidentially, agreed to break up with you, you felt your worst fears come to life. It hurt too much to think about it, so you let your heartbreak fill the air as you wept.

…

For the weekend, you kept to yourself. You only came out when needed. News of the root of your recent behavior got around to the all the 1-A girls and they were determined to keep you as healthy and supported as possible while respecting your wish for space. You were very thankful for them. You didn’t know what you would have done without their friendship.  

When Monday came around, the girls were hyping you up. It would be the first time seeing Sero since the breakup. You knew you looked horrible. Your eyes were swollen, your hair was barely put together, and you looked like you rolled out bed. Because you did. But you appreciated their efforts. Nevertheless, there was something you needed to address before class started.  

“Thanks everyone. But, could I ask y’all a favor?”

“Sure!”

“Whatever you need!”

You scratch the back of your neck. “I don’t want to start anything. I just wanna get through the day. So, maybe just act normal when he comes around, yeah?”

Everyone looked at Mina. She felt cornered.

“What!? It was one death threat!”

The stares get judgmental and she rolls her eyes.

“Fine, ugh. I’ll be…civil,” she sighs.

“Thank you,” you said, giving a small smile. You really did have the best friends.

Not too long after, you heard Sero’s laugh before you saw him. You quickly looked away from the entrance. Luckily, Ochaco was there with a distracting conversion.  

Sero walked in with Kirishima and Kaminari beside him. The trio giggled at whatever dumb joke the blonde cracked. However, he was brought out of his laughter when he saw you. Thinking about the guilt in his chest coupled with the agony of seeing you so…miserable made his heart flare. And not in a good way.

He tried to smile at you, holding onto the tiny ray of hope that maybe you didn’t completely hate his guts, but it was cut off as Jirou conveniently stepped in his line of sight, blocking you from his vision.

He wilted, blinking back the sting in his eyes.

Kirishima patted his back in comfort. “It’s okay, man. We’ve got you.”

“If it helps, I think they’re mad at all of us. On Sunday, Bakugo tried to ask Mina for his water bottle back and she made Ochako text Midoriya to give it to him. Midoriya bro,” Kaminari said. “He was pissed.”

Sero frowned. “Didn’t think it was possible, but now I feel worse.”

Kirishima punched the blonde’s shoulder.

That was how the day went.

You and Sero ignored each other. Your friends would keep you too distracted. It was hard to deal with and there was awkward tension during homeroom. It was like everyone was walking on eggshells with one another. It didn’t help that Todoroki—as dense as he was—asked Momo why you two had been avoiding each other. To make matters worse, you two were within earshot.

It was the first time Momo ever scolded him. He decided to mind his business after that. He didn’t like feeling like an asshole. Midoriya told him it a good lesson into recognizing social cues.

There was also that one time Bakugo confronted you in the hallway and went on a rant about how you and “soy sauce’s” misery was “fucking distracting.” You were so caught off guard that you didn’t have time to defend yourself before an angry cloud of pink got in his face.

Mina’s speech started with, “How dare you—” and ended with, “You insensitive son of a bitch.”

It was also Bakugo’s first in feeling like an asshole. He made the intelligent decision to walk away.

That happened on Tuesday. It was only Wednesday, when you and Sero unintentionally and unanimously exchanged quick, close-lipped, smiles just so your classmates didn’t kill each other. It was uncomfortable and painful, but it was more of a relief to feel the tension in the room subside—if only a little bit.

For the rest of the week, you two tried to be civil. You were to your own devices. Sero thought you looked well on your way to moving on. If he didn’t know any better, you kind of looked happier. More than you had been in a while. A week passed and your eyes stopped swelling. You started putting make up on again and you laughed. You actually laughed.

Maybe Sero did feel hurt that you looked like you were moving on so quickly. And yes, maybe he spent some nights locking himself in his room so he could cry over how stupid he felt for ever letting himself hurt you. Had you always been miserable because of him? Of course, the constant weight in his chest was suffocating to the point that even looking at you made him feel like he’d pass out.

But damn it if your laugh wasn’t the sweetest sound.

If it meant losing his smile, if meant feeling heartache, and if it meant dealing with the fact that he’d never get to kiss you again, then this was for the best

...

At least, that’s what he thought until he came back from his internship to see you on the bench outside of the dorm building. It was late and dark, but the moon was bright enough to cover your skin in a soft creamy glow. It made his heart flutter. 

It was also light enough for him to see the tears in your eyes.

The voice inside his head, his common sense, was telling him to haul his ass in the dorm and leave you alone. He was probably the last person you wanted to see, justifiably. However, it’d be the first time he left you alone to cry. And, that didn’t sit well in his spirit.

That’s how he found himself by the bench, startling you with a soft, “Hey.”

He watched a tear fall and chose to ignore it as you wiped it away.

“Uh, hi?” you replied, voice stuffy with tears.

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

Sero couldn’t look away from you, no matter how bad the tension felt. Your hair texture, the richness of your skin, the unique curve of your lips, the laugh lines on your cheek, the shape of your eyes, the little scar by your temple…God, have you always been this beautiful? Why did he let you go like that?

“I, um, just came back from my internship and um—” you just love sounding like a fucking idiot, don’t you? “—you looked cold. Here, take my jacket,” he whispered, like he was out of breath.

Thank God he was actually wearing one. Sero quickly took off his coat and was about to put it around your shoulders—like he had always done.

But you held up a hand. “It’s okay. I’m fine,” you said.

Of course, he could tell you were uncomfortable by the dip in your voice. Call it denial or plain stupidity, but Sero couldn’t accept your words. He saw the goosebumps on your legs. Now, whether that was from the breeze or something else, he didn’t know.

“Don’t be silly,” his smile was disarming. “Take it. It’s like 50-something degrees.”

“Thank you, but I’m okay.”

Just back away, Sero.

“You know you can just give it to me tomorrow—”

“Sero.”

What are you doing!?

“I really think you should take it—”

“I really don’t think I should—”

Dude!

“If you’re worried about returning it—”

“Like, I said—”

“You can just give it to Mina—”

“I—”

“And—”

“Hanta!!”

Suddenly, he resurfaced. Sero was back in reality, his jacket still in his arms. He blinked, finding the desperation in your watery eyes as you stared back.

What the hell are you doing?

“Please, just…stop,” you whispered. You looked away in fear he’d see the tears falling down your face. “Stop acting like you care.”

There was a pregnant pause before the black-haired hero took a step back, hair shadowing his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. His voice was almost carried by the breeze because it was so soft. “I didn’t mean to overstep my boundaries”

You shook your head, still looking away. “It’s fine.”

You just wanted him to leave. So, that’s what he did.

Sero, quietly led himself up the front steps. When his fingers touched the doorknob, he paused.

“Y/N,” he said, one last time.

You looked back, frustrated over his persistence. “What?” you bit.

What you saw made your eyes widen. Sero let his own tears freely fall. But that wasn’t what made your heart stop. No. It was the wide, triangular, smile that accompanied it. Despite the sorrow in his eyes, his smile shined bright and genuine beneath them.

“It can’t be an act if I never stopped.”

With that, he disappeared behind the door, leaving you with nothing but his words.

You buried your face in your hands and cried.

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

Hey, it's me again! The Anon that constantly comes back because I'm too lazy to play the new lessons myself.

Anyway, Lesson 30-something, what happened in it? I've just seen screenshots and most of them are Solomon blushing (which, well, can't really say I'm complaining).

Hope you answer, and I'll probably ask you about the lessons after this.

-Anon that's still somehow stuck on Lesson 31. Seriously, I should really start playing the game again soon.

I'm screaming I literally wrote this whole thing and it got deleted because tumblr refused to send it and just banished the reply into the void i want to fight someone. I'm so sorry I'm gonna bang my head against something now.

It's okay if you ask cause I need someone to rant to after lessons!

So two days before the ritual to break the pacts. Solomon is researching how to use the night dagger.

Lucifer & Satan are arguing on the staircase (cause 50% of all important conversations happen on staircases - and I mean this sincerely). Lucifer promised mammon he'd come play cards with him and Satan doesn't want him to go cause he thinks it'll be a scam (he's worried about his dad big brother❤). MC asks Satan if he's worried about Lucifer and that makes his affection go up. He asks MC to promise him to go with Lucifer and keep an eye on him. He ruffles MC's hair and gives them the same we'll still be friends talk that the others do

They go to play cards and place bets, if Mammon wins he gets Lucifer's credit card for a day and if Lucifer wins he gets mc alone for a day. You can choose whether you want mc to either play along or cheer for Lucifer. (And look my MC's performing Olympic grade gymnastics to avoid Lucifer's advances & this lesson has a lot of options to romance Lucifer that I didn't pick so...)

Lucifer gets distracted by Mammon's car before they start playing.

WE GET THE BACKSTORY ABOUT THE CAR!!!!!! AND LOOK IT'S BEING THERE FOR SO LONG WITHOUT BEING ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I WAS ALMOST CERTAIN IVE BEEN HALLUCINATING IT. the backstory was actually really cute.

Mammon really really wanted this limited edition car (it had a rare colour) so he worked his ass off and earned money to buy it (I think it's mentioned that this is the first thing he bought from his own money). But by the time he'd earned enough it had been sold out. As far as Mammon knows Lucifer spoke to the dealer and was able to find one last car (can you do that? Can you just ask them to look in the back and they'll just pop out with a car they accidentally overlooked?). BUT Lucifer recalls that he actually spoke to diavolo and called in a special favour to get the car for mammon. Lucifer tells mammon he was impressed by him and I no longer possess a physical form I'm now a bowl of goop with thumbs to type

Lucifer wins (duh) and mammon asks to speak to mc alone. He tells them that even if their pact is severed he'll always be their first man. MC says 'I won't forget.' Mammon does that stuttery thing and says something like 'don't forget.' He hugs them tight. I added a screenshot of this (& other important moments) to my first answer but I don't wanna risk it cause if I lose this again I will realistically commit homicide. But anyway this line killed me 'suddenly I feel like the invisible bond between us is even stronger than it was before'. If I wasn't a puddle before I would be now

The next day mc & Lucifer meet up to go out, Asmo and mammon complain, I'm a total dick so I don't let MC hold Lucifer's hand and it makes him sad (I cry). They meet Solomon at the gate and he says he needs to talk with MC but can wait till after. He suggests going to the carnival (from the beginning of the season) cause it's the last day at the devildom and Simeon was planning on taking Luke but had to bail to go to the celestial realm. (Also the devildom is only one city/district right? I always saw it as the capital of The Devildom as a whole)

Lucifer laments not being able to remeber their first time at the carnival, mc gets to reassure him that it's okay. They get popcorn and go on the ferris wheel.

He asks them what they spoke about last time on the ferris wheel. The answers are 'Lucifer' or 'diavolo' . if you choose diavolo he throws shade at past Lucifer for being an idiot and talking about another man when with MC (*SNORT*) .

LUCIFER CONFESSES!!!? HE SAYS "MC I LOVE YOU"?!? HE'S THE FIRST BROTHER TO DIRECTLY CONFESS AND HAVE MC DIRECTLY CONFESS BACK.HE BASICALLY SAYS 'ANYWAY PAST LUCIFER WAS A FUCKING IDIOT BUT I LOVE YOU'. my mc goes 'lol as a friend'

Yes yes ik mammon technically confessed first and did so twice (thrice?) but neither were direct. The first was him agreeing with mc about them being in love in front of someone else and the second was under the influence of the truth bracelet. Asmo confessed too but in a 'never thought I'd find someone I love more than me. That's wild' way.

After mc shoots him down he goes 'that sucks guess I'll have to try harder to make you fall for me'

@like-nxrthernstxrs if you say you love him back, you get to kiss and mammon who followed you sees and goes quiet which yeah no, no thanks

I didn't unlock the locked lessons but screenshots show that all the brothers follow them I think (imagine the nightmare of dating one of them for real tho? Like you, me and your friend Steve except Steve is your 6 brothers who want to sleep with me)

The most notable exchange during them is when Levi asks whether Lucifer seems happier without his memories (he actually is more carefree) but mammon says he wouldn't be happier because he loves all his little brothers and he wouldn't be happy if he couldnt remember them. Levi tells mammon it's gross whenever he starts acting like an actual older brother (so we've seen mammon step up to the role of a older brother every once in a while - specially when Lucifer isnt able to - and he's actually really good at it? And that's just💞💞)

When they go home, solomon's in MC's room. He goes 'so do you want the good news or bad news first? Actually they're both bad news and you're fucked lol'

The dagger is so old that it doesn't have enough power to break the bonds and even when charged with Solomon's power it isn't enough.

The only way to restore the power is to use it to stab a powerful demon in the chest and have it absorb the demon's power.

Then he gives mc the dagger and is like 'anyway go stab Lucifer in the chest or we're all gonna die'

MC's like 'what the fuck'

Solomon goes 'lol just kidding i wouldn't ask you to do that'

Solomon tells them that he spent his whole life protecting humanity and that he is willing to do anything to save it. He tells them that choosing between all of the three realms and one demon should be easy. But he can't because he knows that'll make MC sad and he doesn't want to hurt them (honestly some of the dialogue from Solomon, Simeon and even diavolo makes me wonder if they'll ever become LIs down the road)

Lucifer has been eavesdropping the whole time (obviously) and kicks Solomon out.

Mc tells time not to worry and that they'll figure something else out. He tells them that he cares about his brothers and them (he puts a bit of emphasis on MC) and that he wants them to stab him. MC keeps on protesting. He grabs their hand and makes them point the dagger to his chest. You get a choice. You can either stab Lucifer, MC or command him to 'stay'. If you choose to command him, he freezes for a sec and then tells MC they are too distraught to be able to put any actual power behind the command. He moves their hand to stab himself. The screen goes white. If you decide to stab MC he screams their name. The screen goes white

A '???' voice tells them to stop and that it's not needed. Simeon (the only person with even a single braincell in this entire game) stops their hand and tells them they've been brave. He slips an old ring on to their finger. The screen goes white.

The screen's still white but now it's white in a way that makes it look like it's sunlight blinding the screen.

Another '???' voice apologises to MC for not being able to meet them before. It asks mc why they refused to stab Lucifer. They can say it's because they love him, because they didn't want anyone to get hurt or because they wanted to find another way. And look even if you aren't romancing Lucifer you have to admit at this point of the game MC does love him and all his brothers as well.If you pick the first option the voice says that it's a good thing and that they should cherish that love and let it grow. If you choose the second it tells them they are kind. The voice then tells them that after seeing how much the brothers adore them it expected them to be wicked and that it's happy they aren't. It tells them that they don't have to worry and that the ring of light will keep their powers in check and that they should go back because the others are worried. MC wakes up to Lucifer calling their name.

I'm 90% certain the voice in Michael, 10% of me is terrified it'll turn out to be God. And look I'm not religious, I don't really believe in anything and either way I was raised in a Buddhist household so God has never been anything I believed in BUT God talking to me through an otome game is definitely not something I need rn or ever really

Mc, Solomon, Simeon and Luke are by the lake at the palace. Solomon says he can finally relate to Mammon cause Lucifer had punished him. Simeon reveals that Lucifer had punished diavolo as well and would be coming after the rest of them that kept this whole thing secret from him (And this kills me! This man loves his family so much he was not only willing to go against God and his army when his family was in danger but he was also willing to lash out at DIAVOLO who he has so much respect & loyalty towards when he accidentally put Lucifer's family in danger!??? Anyway any chance I had of solidifying into a physical state has been completely swept away)

It's revealed that Simeon may or may not have stolen the ring from Michael who still loves Lucifer and keeps a shrine to Lucifer all of Lucifer's things from the celestial realm with him. And honestly I want whatever superpower Lucifer has that allows him to act like a dick with major issues but still makes ppl just absolutely love him. (I absolutely adore how easily om! throws around the word 'love' or actions of love. And I don't mean regarding MC. I mean between the brothers, undateables, Luke and side characters. Like at this point there's no doubt that despite all their differences everyone loves each other.)

Simeon (or Luke) note that now with the ring MC is as powerful a sorcerer as Solomon and may someday surpass him. Solomon is asked of he's jealous and he says he's not and he's glad to finally have someone like him.

Solomon pulls MC aside and asks them for a favour. They can either ask what it is or say 'anything for you'. If you choose the second option he blushes. He tells them he has spent his whole life looking out for humanity (thousands of years) and that he would like to work side by side with them to protect the humans. In his own words they'd be 'partners'. You can either agree or tell him it sounds like a pain in the ass. If you agree he says that a part of him knew they'd agree. (I can't remember if this is said outloud or implied but I'm assuming this means Solomon will teach them to use actual magic thus making 3 out of 4 of my main game MCs magical apprentices. Nice.)

*Solomon refers to himself as 'the witty sorcerer' confirming that all their aliases in the cards have actual canon meaning...so Mammon's 'fallen warrior' and 'punishment party' is basically just confirming he was probably the only one classed as a fighter from all his brothers back in the celestial realm and that he's a masochist right? That's what that means?*

Barbatos arrives to welcome them and ask them to follow him.

The lesson ends.

The pre stabbing scene with Solomon and mc doesn't really follow the exact dialogue of the first scene in S2 and the backgrounds don't match either (the human world vs MC's bedroom). Now this could mean the devs fucked up or it could mean there's more BS waiting to be stirred up. Personally I believe it's the first one BUT with how determined the devs seem with turning all of Lucifer's hair white i wouldn't be surprised if it was the second either

Hope that helps 31!❤ sorry it took some time I had to take constant breaks to scream cause the app sucks :)))

[sunnedberry]

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So you shut leader discovered that you do you say leadership for dictatorship and you can’t tell the difference a Awesome Rap Legends Ain’t Nothin’ But A Christmas Party Ugly shirt country is running its economy around this is the grass will LSI to tell the difference you should be commander in chief Donald Say All These Business Dealings with Russia Those Could Be Disclosed with Tax Returns but They Refused to Americans Need to Worry about Whether Donald Trump Will Be Watching out for America’s Bottom Line Here Is on the Line Wrong Russia. 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movie they were actually in the movie after that was dealt with actually played themselves 11 movies fighting apples he was an 11 movies that’s crazy right I just looked it up 11 movies he did at least 11 they said I think they’re talking all of the seven movies for real it is 11 because they added a few that were documentaries can count those was a seven movies still has a lot of movies she looked like JR she looks similar to jaded I like a girl played Angie Martinez on but that Lewis lost Tupac mom had was on LT Hutton showed talked as sure as a confusing thing but it’s none of our business at this point in our main Pok was in the budget he did I get a lot of trouble but he was also a martyr man because he made easier for rappers to come out today you knowand do is say whatever they wanted was a lot of restrictions back in the day against rappers I mean if you I don’t I didn’t really understand that I was too young like I was super super young back then but you know if you watch footage on YouTube you’ll see that you it was very hard for rappers back then 64 faith know about that bro they made snoop look like a little patient yes to this new character was kinda bad I didn’t like that character in the movie he was in the movie nothing but trouble all he was in the movie nothing but trouble okay I checked out one at a heavier Torres Benny bones a good director two live crew new movie I agree I want to see a death row movie I’ll be sick to made a list in the movie Julia I was sick using the movie to blue da Vinci was in the yard blue da Vinci was I in the jail play character in the jail with’s new voice yes just lights new bright like it is to find his voice to the movie Ike is 70 is crazy is it true they dubs new voiceover they had to man because in the you write toand sounded just like they had to dove his voice in the movie Jonathan PMI appreciated mass I appreciate it bro two short intervals are yeah can’t wait to watch this weekand wanted pastor got to watch the movie gotta watch the movie this weekand guys it’s good Jonathan PM said salute JT keep pushing forwardand putting a consistent quality content doing your own thing no matter what obstacles to hold you down I appreciate that Johnand I appreciate you pushing forward as I know you be going through a lot tooand I appreciate you still tuning inand donating when you can your amazing broad percent activity outside Jay Z dazzlingand have to have a movie I make my miscast done so much man not his cannot have a movie I want Jasper stopped on the rated the dark on completely in the dark just looks dark Rockefeller need a movie night average as soon they done 500 600 block six Jasper if you don’t stop for Dakota G unit out of G unit needs move area 50 movie so your honest opinion movie was good it was good it was an amazingand it wasn’t bad I would say I want to can it was seven I given a seven Wu Tang Clan definitely needs a movie Mike Powell Carlos Corey shattered a few niche occur for 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3 ounce paint on this but rains pretty easily on this bike without much concernand on the same position isn’t overly harsh over like a Awesome Rap Legends Ain’t Nothin’ But A Christmas Party Ugly shirt lot of more performance focused bikes are great like this yellow strain on your ear resting on the restraining arrested upright not present a problem on the neonatal have when production I you really forward into the wind just a little bitand so that does mean that they don’t feel like you’re cussing holding onto the bars 70 or 80 miles an hour just to stay onand that Questar areas windshields available for the bikes so you a lot highway writing speed there’s a way to set I personally thought this bike anyone the first things I would do is probably an exhaustand intake I think that’s a precognitive evil to say that on this bike the character the engine in stock form is a little too sedate for the capabilities of the chassis when he met is that I think this chassis would really benefit from a lot of more rambunctious more red hot motorand there’s many ways to do that with the sportster Odyssey I usually like the hoteland build celebrity SR 1200 had in this chassis that motor be a really good fit personality wise for the chassis is now everything else is been upgraded performance lies like the suspensionand the brakes I think that the bike could really use a little bit extra grunt from the motor little more sound obviously I but also just a little more of a red happy nature so I just need a bike feel that more likely exhaustand intake unitsand goes a long way towards that sustainedand upgrade by a distaste to it some more star focus can so all in all I deathly recommend this for anybody looking for performance focused on I classic style bike I it’s it’s a really good option for that market I knew only hesitation I would have been recommending is if you do a lot highway writing it does have 5 feet is not to buddy out on the highway provided to stay in the low 80 miles an hour you’re trying to fasten I regularly get an ability to decide sustained speed onand then I say it does have a pretty healthy so if you’re just starting out it might not be the best bike to start with as it is I 500 poundsand is quite a policy so if it’s your first bike MS your tall guy or falling out I would recommend potentially starting somewhere else but that that’s just one word of caution it is your first bike view mirrorand mine is a day on the tall side item to see Lisa that Harley in the rest of the motorcycle market is not a particularly called bikes upand I don’t want to scare you away from that but definitely only use it to check one out I sit on itand make sure that you feel like it’s comfortable for you because is one thing that most of the feeling of sportster’ Guys now leave I hear you from the oldest largestand finest leadership in the greater Los Angeles area labor laws Harley Davidson so easily popular model so maybe doing a review etc. Everything I taint over the pain over the course of my career a lot more because nothing was handed to me I just hold that thought for a moment only hear from our sponsorand pain else I know this went mentioned before break time within the greatest earbuds ever been beautiful this week I write make a great on they shot you wireless earbuds right the other copy but these are the real deal I’m telling you you opened up the case is a beautifully bluish tasting a jet yelling next allusions really. I Said I See A Lot Of People Who down like Gannett Feel Attacked by the Fact That They Haven’t Experienced It When They Want to Say My Life Is Hard to Write so I Guess Okay I Have a Conservative Girl Friendand See Not Go from a Girl That Is the Day I Used It As a Way to See the Sea Psych Was like Crying in a Way like Now like You Don’t Understand like We Had Said Sweetlyand I Had to Raise the Sisters We Were Poor We Anything I Had to Live Myself up I Played Sports to Get the Call Is likeand All That One Plane Is Just a Way You Had Opportunities Family Were Had Such a Bad Place Where Our Grandparents Had to Sell 2 Acres of Our Farm That the Teaching Day of Life Are Likely to Verify a Case Was Mostly Foeand a Mule As It Will Mean like I like You Don’t Understand I like like My Friends Are Banks Grandparents May Not Ever Be in a Placeand They Could Do yet See Other related products: Raise Your Hand If You're Tired Of Everything Silhouette Funny T Shirt

[twistedstorm]

13, 33, 34, 35, 40, 44, 46, 47 and 50 for the writer ask meme

Whoever you anon(s) are who keep sending me in these questions from my ask memes I love you so much! Here we go!

13) What’s your favorite writing quote? I don’t actually know…but the best thing I’ve ever read about writing is something like “Don’t be afraid to write what you want even if it’s been written by someone else before because while it may have been written it’s never been written by you” and I love that because it’s true, nobody writes exactly like anyone else so no matter what you write it will always be unique to you regardless if the same idea has been done before. 

33) Are you interested in having your work published? Maybe someday? I think I’d like to have something I write whether a poem or a short story or a novel or whatever published one day because I’m pretty proud of a lot of my writing and I’d like to know what people think and I’d love for people to connect with my words or my characters and I love to hear about their interpretations and stuff like that because I love it when people feel something, anything after reading what I’ve wrote. Right now the list of people to have read my work is limited to some teachers (one really awesome one who encouraged me to keep writing no matter what who is a huge reason why I still write), my mom, and some of my friends and as much as I love hearing their reactions I think I’d like a bigger pool of people someday.

34) Describe your writing space. I write in my room, on my bed with usually my fan going to provide white noise. I used to play music or a movie or something but I end up pausing it whenever I’m actually putting words down because it distracts me so the fan is better. If I’m writing by hand then I’m surrounded by notebooks (because I write different things in each one so I don’t have to be flipping through the notebook I’m actually writing in to try and find that one date or one character detail I need for this one scene because that’s hella annoying) and pencils and stuff and if I’m writing on my computer I’ve got google docs open to save whatever I’m writing in a separate place (copy and paste are my best friends I swear) because I’m paranoid about my computer freezing or something and me losing everything I’ve written because it’s happened before and it’s the worst (I still have a million notebooks open around me but less pencils) and sometimes I write with headphones in just to block out the noise from everywhere else because I’m very easily distracted and random noise genuinely pisses me off if I’m writing. Oh and I always have chocolate and at least one full water bottle because they are both very important to my writing process of course. 

35) What’s your favorite time of day for writing? Honestly I don’t think I have one…I do most of my writing really late at night though since that’s usually when I have the most energy because my brain’s a dick but otherwise it’s pretty much a whenever I feel like it sorta thing. When I was still in school it was usually first thing in the morning or right after lunch in the afternoon though…I have no idea why those times but I did a lot of writing then. 

40) Which is your favorite original character, and why? Okay this is really hard because I love all my ocs for different reasons, even ocs I made up as a kid are still important to me. So I could pick the very first character I ever made I guess. His name is Darius and he’s a white haired red eyed vampire with an accent I dreamed up (literally by the way, he showed up in a bunch of recurring dreams I had as a kid) when I was like 8 and I still use him in stuff today (and yes he sounds just like Soul from Soul Eater and I’m pretty sure that’s why I like Soul so much) and I honest to god talk to Darius when I need someone to be my voice of reason, I just picture him and he gives me advice and reminds me to breathe (yes I talk to my ocs as if they were real people in the real world, I have conversations with them really often actually. I know they’re not real and it’s just me talking to myself but it helps me a lot) . Or I could pick my current favorite characters to write at the moment which are two characters in my new story named Sil and Holt. One is a sarcastic phantom with emo hair who makes jokes like “Oh no we’re all gonna die!!! Oh wait…I’m already dead…never mind guys I’ll be fine, you guys on the other hand…not so much…” and I love him so much and the other is a half nymph half siren and he’s literally just me but cooler and with white hair and cool powers who get’s flustered easily and likes sea shanties. I love them both for the weirdness that is their personalities and how fun it is to write dialogue for them 

44) What’s the weirdest character concept you’ve ever come up with? The time I made Alice in Alice in Wonderland an evil zombie (species called a Queen) who could raise the dead and infect others with her own special mutation of the zombie virus and then wrote out a detailed explanation of how Queens were created when the zombie virus interacted with a recessive mutation only active in xx chromosomes but was carried by people with xy chromosomes and could be passed on to their children and activated if the mother was a carrier as well and the disease was incapable of effecting xy chromosomes at all, and when the disease/defect interacted with the zombie virus it creates a species of zombie capable of in-depth thought and calculation who was equipped with a new version of the virus that is specifically hers so every Queen had her own specific virus unique to her that allowed her to turn and control other people and also raise the dead maybe. I wrote out the entire backstory of how the disease was discovered and the entire list of symptoms it presented with and how it progressed over time and then I named it after my cousins because I decided that the disease was first studied by experimenting on and observing two little girls in an asylum who were there for killing someone as small children because the disease drove them crazy. So basically I turned Alice evil and crazy and spent months creating and writing about a disease to explain why she was so fucking crazy and murderous even though she wasn’t even my main character…yeah that was pretty weird. Not the only weird one though…my mind is a strange place.

46) Describe your perfect writing space. Comfy office-like space with a desk for my laptop or my notebook or whatever with a comfy swivel chair and footrest but also a big bean bag chair and big pillows and a daybed type thing so I can move around and write wherever. There would be a big window with a window bench seat thing so I could let light in or open it to feel a breeze but it’s never loud outside so there’s no stupid noises to distract me. Magically I have speech to text that works perfectly so I can pace and stuff and just speak my story out loud when I need a break from typing. Covering one wall is just a total story line of my story in pages and sticky notes and pictures all connected with different colors of string that mean different things so I can keep track of everything without a million notebooks. There’s a cabinet for my millions of notebooks that I’ll have anyway because it’s me and I love notebooks. I have just a huge pencil case with like those pull out parts like in a makeup case and it’s just full of pencils and pens and sticky notes and highlighters and stickers so I don’t have to always search for them when I need them. There’s a mini fridge for my water bottles and snacks and I have a fan that makes the perfect amount of noise and surround sound speakers with voice control so that if I decide I want music I can have it right away and the entire room is sound proof so I don;t have to hear anything from outside the room and there’s a light up sign on my door that I can turn on with a remote or a switch or whatever that says “Writer at Work” so that people know not to come in and disturb me. The room is painted blue because I like it the best and there’s a big soft rug in the middle of the room because I like fuzzy things and there’s also a fuzzy blanket for if I get cold.     

47) If you could steal one character from another author and make then yours, who would it be and why? I dunno…I don’t think I’d take anyone really…actually scratch that, there’s a lot I would probably take because I’d want to give them a better life or a cooler story or a better relationship or a better family and friends, but I won’t pick a specific one.

50) If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be? Dark Hunter novels by Sherrilyn Kenyon, I’d love to meet my favorite characters and have cool magic powers and give my precious tortured babies (*cough cough* Ash and Nick *cough cough* and everyone else *cough cough*) a cookie and a hug…and high-five Simi. Or alternatively any universe where I could have shape-shifting powers (so maybe X-Men?) or my own created universe where I’m still me but with shape-shifting powers and magic and way cooler clothes and stuff but like my friends and family are still there because I’d miss them a lot if I was in some other universe. (Also acceptable is Batman/ Justice League universe provided I’m a hero with powers) 

Thank you kind anon for sending this in, I love you and have a fantabulous day! Feel free to send in more (that goes for everyone)!

~ZZ

I’m gonna go write something…

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 23/50: New Gods #6 (1989)

The New Gods were Jack Kirby’s pet project. As the legend goes, he proposed to Marvel that he be allowed to kill off the entire Thor cast and setting and have new guys instead. For some reason Marvel didn’t bite.

Honestly its for the best. Killing off Thor et al would have deprived us of the incredible Walter Simonson run, Jane Foster as Thor, and most importantly of Throg, frog of thunder. Not having to steal Darkseid to invent Thanos wouldn’t have been worth missing out on that.

Later Kirby took the idea to DC who not only let him build up his Fourth World mythology in several books but also gave Kirby the Jimmy Olsen book to help build it up.

“Take our Olsen, please!”

Really, Kirby asked for the Jimmy Olsen book because nobody was writing it and Jack “the King” Kirby was a very classy guy who didn’t want to screw another writer out of a job.

Heck of a guy.

For whatever reason, the New Gods and Fourth World stuff never took off quite as much as some other things but elements like Darkseid and also Darkseid and some more Darkseid caught on.

Seriously, does anyone care about anything from New Genesis that isn’t Orion or Mister Miracle?

So New Gods slash the Fourth World have a spotty publishing history. As in, they don’t always get their own dedicated books but the Darkseid Darkseid Darkseid elements bled into other things. Like the time an exile from Apokolips brainwashed Superman into almost starring in a porno…….

Sometimes comics…. bad.

But the point being this is how we get a New Gods issue 6 all the way into 1989. That and Crisis on Infinite Earths blowing up continuity so that the New Gods had to be reestablished.

I’ll be honest, I never much cared for the Fourth World stuff. I don’t dislike it. I just don’t much care for it. I’m fairly neutral.

So can this comic six issues into a series make me care? Well its Orion focused so possibly not?

I dislike how his flying harness thing makes him look like he’s constipated squatting and his default demeanor is roid rage.

See, look how angry he is to be stepped on by zombies. Learn to chill, my dude.

The comic starts with some establishing narration about the death of the old gods and creation of the Fourth World. I don’t know if the comic waited until issue 6 to cover this fairly important detail of the premise or whether it just says this at the beginning of every issue.

But heres the quick and the dirty: the old gods fought the final battle and as it was the final battle they all died when some evil shadow split the world of the old gods (hey maybe it was Asgard, suggests the narration) in twain.

Half became New Genesis, a world of good people and good things like puppies and rainbows. And half became Apokolips, for evil people and evil things like torture and gigantic plumes of fire.

Its not subtle or very complex but that’s not how Jack Kirby or comics rolled.

One wrinkle though is Orion.

The Evil Gods and the Good Gods decided to do a son swap for reasons of peace or something. Highfather took Darkseid’s son Orion and tried to teach him of peace and good although a terrible hair trigger temper burned in Orion’s heart. And Darkseid took Highfather’s son Scott Free and placed him in a ‘terror orphanage’ and ‘tortured him forever.’

Quite a difference in priorities there but don’t forget that the New Gods of Apokolips are super duper evil.

Scott Free got free and became a super escape artist superhero but is generally a pretty morally good guy. It turns out that when you only teach a guy to escape you, he only learns to escape you.

But Orion is thematically the midpoint between New Genesis and Apokolips, caught between them being torn between nature and nurture, between his bloodthirsty Apokolipsan instincts and his ‘don’t be a dick’ training from New Genesis.

He’s hypothetically a really interesting character.

Also, this issue contains zombies of the Old Gods, called Dreggs because misspelling is trademarkable.

They live in the ruins within Apokolips and occasionally poke their head out only to be whack a moled by Kalibak.

They’re why the issue is titled “People Too Stupid to Die!”

Orion is flying around in his dumb harness bemoaning the constant war that rages between his two halves and wishing it could be fought with punching instead of thinking. And wondering why Forager yelled at him for blowing up the land of bugs. Bug women are so confusing.

So he decides to visit his only friend, government agent Dave Lincoln “one of a select few Earth-dwellers linked to the gods by the Anti-Life equation…”

The more I learn about the Anti-Life Equation the less sense it makes.

And also I immediately hate Dave Lincoln. There’s just real kneejerk animosity. For one thing he’s one of those guys that smokes a pipe and also gestures with his pipe. For another thing, he criticizes the Cuomo administration for not building enough prisons and not executing enough people.

What particularly rankles is that this guy is supposed to be the guy that teaches Orion Earth morality (because apparently he didn’t learn dick on New Genesis).

When Dave Lincoln chases down a fleeing murderer who almost gets the drop on him, Orion intervenes and is about to kill the criminal when Lincoln tells him not to.

Because unsurprisingly on Apokolips if you beat an opponent, their life is forfeit. And again, either it’s the same way on New Genesis or they didn’t teach Orion dick.

Speaking of Apokolips, Darkseid had some women named Eve kidnapped who I guess is tied to Orion in some way. But he does not let god of torture Desaad torture her because his plan is to get Orion to kill her somehow.

Not sure how he’ll finagle that but apparently her death will unlock another facet of the Anti-Life Equation for Darkseid and make him even more powerful.

And to illustrate how big his power already is, he shoots some Omega beams into the atmosphere on a whim that also aggros the zombies. There’s basically no reason for him to be blasting off at nothing except to get the zombies to scrumble out of the underground and be present in the plot.

Meanwhile, New Genesis.

I wonder what this perfect paradise planet full of only good people is like?

Well apparently some jerks ‘usurped’ the Highfather’s power by forming a council so that he doesn’t have unilateral power.

And the Highfather responds to this infringement on his ‘natural’ power by first calling them uninspired leeches.

Highfather: “It was I who settled New Genesis, established the dream… always there are others, incapable of their own dreams, to come forth and lay claim to mine! Always, there are those who seek to reap the benefits of today, never having fought the battles which allowed us to have dreams at all!”

The council was, by the way, elected. So its not like they just seized power.

Anyway, that’s when Highfather decides to dissolve their council and be unilateral again.

Highfather: “People of New Genesis… a new order begins today in the form of the old order. I again preside.”

I… have no idea how this is supposed to come off.

I guess both the paradise and hell god worlds agree that an uncontested patriarchal single central leader is the ideal form of government, they just disagree on whether said leader should have a beard or a face made of rock.

And both would agree that Democracy Is Bad.

Eesh.

Lightray, the new New God that apparently fans hated for being a spotlight stealer, worries that a civil war might be brewing on the paradise good planet of only good gods and decides he should find Metron for advice but think of the devil and boop there Metron appears.

Metron redirects Lightray by telling him that Eve got kidnapped and possible society splitting pushed out of mind, Lightray zooms off to Earth to go tell Orion while Metron muses that this really might be the end of New Genesis.

On Earth, Orion is still talking about how you just gotta kill your opponents otherwise you’re weak and you’ll be disrespected and he uses as an example a cockroach he finds in Dave Lincoln’s apartment. It has invaded his territory and he’s not even destroying it!

So Orion squishes it. A GREAT VICTORY FOR ORION!

Then Lightray shows up and tells Orion that Darkseid has kidnapped Eve! Orion decides he’s going to beat up Darkseid!

‘And rescue Eve’ reminds Dave Lincoln.

‘Sure sure,’ says Orion, basically.

Then they boom tube to Apokolips.

Where meanwhile, Darkseid has gotten distracted from his plot to get Orion to murder someone because all these zombies have shown up.

He tells them to gtfo but they don’t listen. He has them shot but they still don’t listen. Because they are zombies.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Desaad uses Darkseid’s distraction to hook Even naked into an upside down torture machine. Annnnnnd then Orion bursts through the wall like an X-Force.

Did you know that the members of X-Force have collectively died more often than they’ve used a door? Plausibly true story.

Anyway, Desaad summons some big toughies and skee daddles. Orion punches all the big guys because that’s what he do. He also works himself into a lather because that is also what he do.

Around when Orion is making a guy shoot himself in the face while cracking a disturbing grin, Lightray reminds Orion of the thing that Dave Lincoln told him. Presumably the thing about la la la la save the girl do not fight the dad.

Meanwhile, Darkseid still telling the zombies to gtfo. And any amount of strikes and they’re out so Darkseid shoots his Omega Beams at them.

And nothing happens.

“There can be no victory for Darkseid: How can you savor the death of that which is already dead?”

Is THAT how the Omega Beams work??

One of the zombies tries to grope at Darkseid so he shoots some Omega Beams again.

To again no obvious, immediate effect.

But hey, here’s the thing which would sound made up if you encountered it in a dry synopsis.

The Omega Beams that Darkseid fired at the zombies?

They go through them to no avail but beams don’t just stop being a thing. They keep traveling to where Orion, Eve, and Lightray are.

Orion assumes, as his lather is still lathered on both sides, that Darkseid is attacking him but the beams go right by him and zap Eve and Lightray out of existence or somewhere nasty or however Omega Beams work today.

Shocked and appalled that Darkseid wasn’t targeting him, Orion shouts that Darkseid’s quarrel is with him and waits for the other shoe to drop. Then the other pair of Omega Beams that Darkseid fired at the zombies hit him and vanish him away.

“Just for the moment, as he is banished to the next conflict, Orion wonders if this is the will of Darkseid or mere chance... just as quickly, he dismisses the notion that, here, there is anything but the will of Darkseid.”

We cut to Darkseid questioning Desaad if Orion’s ‘true nature’ came forth.

Desaad says that Lightray kept Orion good but that doesn’t really match what I saw happen.

The god of torture asks what happened to the invading zombies and Darkseid says that he let them go because they are feeble and unworthy of his attention.

Unbenoticed, the zombie that tried to grab Darkseid grabs Orion’s helmet as it and the other Dregg shuffle away.

“With Darkseid, there is never the accidental, only the deliberate. All, even when it fails, is according to his grand design... He has vanquished the Dreggs well. They departed, he knows, not out of disinterest but because they recognized his might. Now, they wander off not of their own will. Of that, Darkseid is certain. But what brought them here remains a mystery, even to him... Perhaps they came to remind him of a time past... Perhaps, he wonders, they carry some message... but, of course, Darkseid has nothing to learn from the past.”

Womp womp womp

There’s a funny implication that despite what Orion and Darkseid believe, Darkseid has no idea what just happened and the plan went completely off the rails and it was because of something stupid like blind firing into a pack of zombies hitting someone across the planet.

But if the zombies were attracted to distract Darkseid from his plans for Orion and accidentally shoot his plans for Orion, then what is the architect?

The narration says that they were attracted by Darkseid firing lasers into the atmosphere.

It’s all a bit inexplicable.