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Explicit, 3.8k, Complete

Summary:

There were worse ways to wake up, Tim supposed, than getting felt up by your unconscious boyfriend’s grabby tentacles.

For JayTim Week 2025 - Day 1: Purple

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happy belated father's day everyone

kofi

ref below the cut

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Batman by Evan Cagle

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what they don't tell you about crawling around in vents and rafters all night

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I know the popular take is that Jason responds to familial affection by going ew fuck you gtfo off me or whatever but to be honest I think if someone actually tried it he's ending up weeping wailing face red sniffling coughing collapsing to his knees in the rain type of reaction just completely sopping pathetic. his eyes are so swollen he can't see shit and falls off a cliff

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bruce wayne is the only person on earth to turn his massively untreated ocd into the basis of a successful superhero alter ego. unfortunately this trick did not work on his interpersonal relationships

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what batman villain is rolling the worst joints

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Hands down the most underutilized aspect of Batman is his hatred of cops. Like, even if you are too high on boot polish fumes to believe that the irl police are messed up, Gotham is a fictional city with a notoriously corrupt police force. gcpd unoffical motto is "serve and protect (for the best price)." and bruce fucking HATES them hates hates hates he is like. i wouldn't have to be here if you could DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. bruce wayne has pussy blasting levels of childhood trauma surrounding gun violence, you think he's magically okay with them when a cop is using one? "wow batman i cant believe you just beat up a violent felon actively trying to murder you and a bunch of people, problematic much?" YOU POINT GUNS AT TEENAGERS FOR PETTY THEFT. he genuinely considers destroying the entire gcpd armory and only decides not to bc he knows they'll refuse to do any part of their jobs without semi automatic weapons. "not all cops, jim gordon is a good person" jim gordon is Well aware that a significant portion of his coworkers are on mob payroll and cant/wont do shit about it. BECAUSE THE SYSTEM IS FUCKED. cop voice i put my life at risk every day to help people, its so hard destroying homeless encampments and arresting fare jumpers. batman voice should i call you a wambulance. his ass would NOT cooperate with them unless it was 110% necessary and alfred also called them first without permission.

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Young Justice (1998) Issue #20, colorized

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Let's fight crime with mama

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Normalize an Alfred Pennyworth who is absolutely dogshit at his job. This freshly legal little slut moved to the Big Smoke to pursue his dreams of acting then did military service then immigrated to fucking new jersey probably bc it was cheaper than new york. then he got a job as a valet or housekeeping staff or some shit at the mansion of Most Rich and Killable Couple On The Eastern Seaboard and you KNOW his slutty ass slept his way to the top. pennywaynes truther martha and thomas were swingers and i'll DIE on that hill. so they are obsessed him and he's blowing out backs while the rest of the house staff talk mad shit in the kitchen and then Alfred's sugar mommy and daddy get fucking SHOT and have named him the GUARDIAN of their CHILD and he has to shape the fuck up. BUT HE STILL DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS JOB. this cunt aint got experience running a household, he's british and can't cook for shit, landscaping cleaning bills property management HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A STAR. and this is too much. so he fires the entire staff. and then single parents what will become the most emotionally fucked up human being on the face of the planet.

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'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

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It feels like this every time I write a fic

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i started to envy leon kennedy fans so i had to take matters into my own hands

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Jaybin needs those biceps wrapped around him STAT

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ref

a satisfactory answer for Selina

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"Why is it a problem if students use AI to get through college"

Because if you demonstrate to me that you're willing to set aside concern for truth, evidence, and verifying things with your own eyes whenever it happens to be inconvenient for you, I have a solemn responsibility to make sure you don't get into medical school.