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#A lot of love and work has gone into this project and I'm so excited to start showing off the finished product!
flanaganfilm · 2 months
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howdy!! do you rewatch your own work? if so, how often? im wondering if it has the same "artist just sees faults with what they create" thing, or if youre able to appreciate past projects the way they deserve
I don't, typically... usually, by the time we're finished with post production, I've seen the thing so many times that I'm thrilled to stop watching it. I'm either sick of it, or just feeling like it doesn't belong to me anymore. There are other reasons, too - Hill House was a traumatic production for me, for example, I have a lot of complicated emotions woven into it, so I haven't felt ready to rewatch that one since before it aired. Maybe in a few more years.
Somewhat recently, I've revisited a few of the older movies with my eldest son, who is 13 now. He's basically as old as my career itself. We've watched Oculus, Hush, The Midnight Club (which he LOVED, proving it worked for our target audience) and Ouija: OOE together, and each of those screenings was a really cool experience. His reactions and questions were really fascinating, and I felt like I was able to see those movies anew through his eyes. That's the closest I've come to feeling like I was really seeing them, and that's only because so much time has gone by for those. I watched the Director's Cut of Doctor Sleep a few years back at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park Colorado. It was part of a live NoSleep Podcast event, and that was the first time I'd seen that movie since it was released. It was also the first and only time I'd ever seen the Director's Cut with an audience. That was a really special screening and it meant a lot to me.
I haven't yet had the guts to revisit any of the TV series other than Midnight Club. As my kids get older, I'm sure I'll watch them all with them. The one I'm most excited to see is Midnight Mass, which remains my favorite of the shows. I haven't seen it since before it came out - I remember the last day of post on that show, watching down each episode with final mix and color. That's a series I wish I could actually watch like a viewer at home, and while I'll never truly be able to do that, I look forward to looking at it with some real distance.
There are a few of the older projects I'd be curious to watch now. I wonder how Absentia holds up - I was such a baby when we made that movie, and it's been so long. I imagine I could watch that today and have a really trippy experience. I also haven't revisited Before I Wake in a very long time, and I always really loved that script. The movie was a rough road, and my feelings were mixed by the time it finally found its finish line (Relativity Media really beat that one up), but that could also be a really interesting viewing experience at this stage of my career.
But generally, each of these movies is a journey, and once the journey is over it's tough to ever really go back. There's little point, and moving forward feels like a matter of survival. The "finished product" is only the tip of a large, deep, labyrinthian iceberg for me. It's impossible to only see what's on the surface, no matter how hard I try.
(Interesting side-note: The only exception I've found to this rule is The Life of Chuck. We just finished post production on the movie, and I've watched it dozens and dozens of times now - but I've never grown tired of it, not even a little bit. That movie is something special, and I am eager to watch it again - and again - and again. I don't know that I'll ever want distance from that one; in fact, watching it brings me a sense of joy, comfort, and safety.)
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persphonesorchid · 17 days
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Connotations Of Sin - JHS (m)
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Summary: At your lowest, you’ve been living on the streets for the past couple of months. When you decide to leave your only safe haven and find yourself lost in a mysterious fog, an angel stretches out a hand of mercy. Little do you know, black taints his once alabaster wings.
Genre: Fallen Angel Au | Angst, fluff, smut (mdni), horror (V lowkey, I swear)
Word Count: 30k
Masterlist
Please read these warnings carefully!!
Warnings: Homelessness, Kidnapping (? is it though??), Suicidal ideation, referenced and described abuse and murder of a child. Hoseok is his own warning. Mc gets drugged and then she gets sick... A bit of religious babble, mc has nightmares (one of which is actually kinda bad...), she almost dies at one point. Hoseok likes playing mind games, but they aren't serious (Honestly debatable...). Implied gang activity and violence. Hoseok contradicts himself a lot, he's really confusing. Smut: oral ( m and f receiving) soft dom Hoseok, i think Hoseok has an oral fixation (or is it ME, the author?????) unprotected sex.
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Notes: Phew, welcome!! SO, it's finally here!!! I'm so excited to share this project with you alll! It was such a big project for me, and so much time and effort went into it. Believe it or not, this started out as a smut piece and it had nothing going for it at all. If you've been following me for a while, you'd remember that back in 2021 i posted a teaser for something similar. Tbh back then probably wasn't the right time to post such a thing lmao, i for certain wasn't ready to write it and it wouldn't have been written in the way it was meant to with my writing style back then. It's been a long journey of understanding the characters portrayed here, and a lot of work to get them right. Very big shoutout to @hwaslayer who's - as always - been there with me from the very beginning and has been the biggest help and motivator, please look out for her Ateez's Seonghwa fic that shares this universe!! I won't keep you any longer, but please be sure to leave feedback, a lot of effort went into this project and i'd love to hear what you think and answer any questions! Happy reading!!!
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“You sure you don’t wanna stay here with me dearie? I know it ain’t much, but it’s better than being out in the elements.” Abigail takes your hands in hers, hands that – much like yours – are dirt stained and ruddy, but bring you comfort that you wouldn’t find elsewhere. Abigail – or Toothy as everyone else calls her – is a frail woman with wispy auburn hair and a gap tooth smile. Her hair had gone white in some places, the crows’ feet at her eyes can barely help you guess her age. Her eyes are blue and dull but still regard you warmly like she did when she’d found you wandering along the fourth avenue weeks or so ago.
The space where she stays isn’t much; a nook in an alleyway between two rundown buildings that people don’t bother to go into. She’d tried her best to make it into a space that’s comfortable enough, the roof made of termite bitten sheets of ply that’s at least a square and a half wide. An old, mildew ridden tarp thrown over it and held down by a couple pieces of rubble from the building across makes up the walls that offer shelter from cold wind and rain and as much privacy you could get out here. The floor made of giant trash bags Abigail had swindled from some place or another, covered with old sheets that’s definitely seen better days. Even though the sheets had long lost their softness and leave you itching, they kept your butt off the cold concrete.
You’re going to miss the stories she’d tell. You’d lay on the floor, the longest part of the tarp folded over the top, and stare up at the strip of night sky between the buildings, twinkling with the bit of stars you can see and listen.
She’d tell you of her life before she fell to rock bottom, how grand everything was. How, many years ago, she’d won the lottery by a stroke of luck, only to have it turn sour when her fiancé gambled it all away and she lost everything. She never did tell you what happened to him.
You’d miss walking the couple of miles to the river, armed with pieces of run-down bar soaps and plastic bags with the little clothes you owned in them bundled in your arms. Or the nights when it’s cold, you’d go down to the square with her and look around for things to burn and dump them into the steel barrel to keep warm.
There are days when there’s nothing, and Abigail would distract you from your stomach trying to eat at itself with another one of her stories and old cans filled with steaming boiled rain water. There are days when you’d sit with a full tummy, there’s usually one kind soul out there that takes pity on you both to offer as much as they could.
You’ll be forever grateful for Abigail, with her motherly affection and her warm hands. She never once asked how you ended up here too, she simply offered a hand when you needed it most.
You felt as though you lingered too long... this is the longest you’ve stayed in a place. The company was good, but you feel like there’s just so much you’re robbing Abigail of by staying with her. You know she would strongly disagree; she’d probably whack you with her busted up sneaker and send you to sit in a corner until you’ve apologized. It’s simply how you feel, if you’re not here, Abigail wouldn’t have to share the little of what she gets, you feel terrible enough that she gives you more than she keeps for herself.
“Don’t worry Abigail.” You smile, pulling one hand away to pat hers. Her fingers are bony and long, and lacking the warmth they did earlier in the day. “I don’t stay one place for too long.”
It’s a lie, obviously. You’d rather chew your leg off than go out there alone. Away from the safety this little nook had been for the past month, away from Abigail, who’s cared more about you than anyone has in a while. But you care about her too, enough that you’d leave to make sure that she eats well enough to survive and not give it all to you. She’d be better off.
Abigail narrows her eyes at you, the wrinkles of her face deepening as she frowns. She looks sad, you note, the blue of her eyes dark and stormy, but she says nothing, just squeezes your hands for a while before letting go.
You smile softly, and continue stuffing your clothes into an old backpack Abigail had given you a while back. You fold the dirty ones tight, setting them at the bottom, and the few clean ones you had that still smelled like your last bar soap at the top. You don’t have much, and you’ve gotten used to it – as hard as it was.
When you shouldered your bag and stepped out from under the tarp, Abigail follows, worry on her brow, saying that she’d walk you to the mouth of the alleyway.
“Oh!” She says, turning back to duck under the tarp. You hear the rummaging of her old pot wares, the clanking of the metal before she comes back and holds out a can to you. The label looks worn, peeling off in some places, but you make out the bright red ‘canned peach’ on the side. “I was savin’ this for when we go down to the river, but you’d better have it.”
“Abigail...” You sigh, guilt gnawing at your edges, “I can’t take this.”
Abigail purses her lips, smacking the can into your hand, “Yes, you can. It’ll hold you out for a little while.”
“Then what would you eat?” You outstretch your hand, offering the peaches back to her and she narrows her eyes at you.
“I can manage.” She says testily, and then sighs, softening, “Are you sure you’ll be okay out there?” She takes the can and tucks it into the outside pocket of your bag, “It’ll be rough ya know.”
“I’ll be fine,” You say, and then, you hug her. Truly, you’ll miss her. She pats your back gently, “Thank you for everything.”
“Don’t mention it, we gotta look out for each other out here.” Abigail smiles, pulling away. She stuffs her hands into the pockets of her baggy jeans, something she’d picked up at a donation shelter a couple of days ago. It’s got a few holes and it’s frayed at the ankles but she’d never complain. “If you fall into luck, don’t forget me.”
“Never.”
You both say your goodbyes and you try your best to not cry at the sadness that clings to Abigail’s form as she hobbles back to her little nook. You take a breath and pick a direction to walk in.
You think about going to the river first, to get a little cleaned up before you go looking for somewhere to sleep for the night. You’re already regretting leaving the comfort that Abigail provided. You know she wouldn’t blame you if you turned right around and dragged yourself back. You’ve already made your mind up, though – it’s better this way.
You don’t have a gauge on the time, but the sun’s getting quite low. It streaks the sky in orange and pink, hiding behind a fluffy white cloud as it makes its slow decent. You might be able to make it to the river and back before night falls completely if you hurry. So you walk, and walk, and it’s a long way past the street Abigail first found you, where the city meets a forest edge.
You once asked Abigail why she didn’t live closer to the river, you worry about her most days, taking her frail self through the streets for such a long walk just to get here. She’d told you that even though some of your street dwelling comrades are friendly, most aren’t, and would do the worst to get what they need. It’s too risky to be close to the river where all manner of folk pass to get to it.
You tuck your bag to your front and keep an ear out for anyone that may be in the area. You grimace as the twigs and stones of the forest floor poke at your feet. Your shoes were on their last, they kept your feet warm most days, but they’re biting holes into your last good pair of socks. The trees get sparse the further in you go, and over the tweeting and chittering of the forest critters, there’s the sound of rushing water.
You break out of the trees and stand on the little edge where the forest pauses and the soft wet dirt begins. The river is a bit wild today, rushing through the rocks as it makes its way from wherever it starts. You know there must be a spring somewhere deeper if you follow the river back, but you don’t have the time to as the setting sun makes the forest look darker already. You wouldn’t like to be out here at night.
You slip out of your shoes and socks, wanting to keep them dry and walk down to the bank. Abigail has a little spot between three large boulders where she hides things. The spot is covered with leaves and sticks, and you dig through it to find the old blue bucket. It’s missing it’s handle and turned over to keep things under it.
There’s a new pack of soap powder that’s already been opened, a little square plastic bowl that’s probably seen better days on a dish rack and half of a soap bar. You pull the bucket out of its hiding place, taking just a handful of the soap powder and tossing it into the bucket. You tuck the powder into a corner of the rock with the soap bar on top of it and carry the bucket over to the river.
You rummage through your bag to find the clothes that needed cleaning, and put them in the bucket with the soap. It takes a moment of scooping water from the river and pouring it into the bucket. All the while you’re wondering where Abigail scored the soap powder from. A lot of things are hard to come by, but some people make trades with the little they’ve got. You feel a little guilty as you watch the water and soap soak into your clothes, though you know she wouldn’t mind if its you – you’re the only two that know where she keeps her stuff hidden – but still.
The soap smells sweet, and fresh in a way you haven’t smelt in a while. With the sun long gone behind the trees but still lighting the sky a bit, you wash your clothes as quickly as you can. You throw the soapy water on the bank and not back in the river, and rinse your clothes out just as quick.
There’s no time to wait for them to dry, with the sun being as low as it is and the wind baring its teeth. So you wring them out and pull out the plastic handle bag you keep folded in one of your backpack pockets to stuff them into.
It’s completely dark out once you’ve put the bucket back and covered Abigail’s things again and made your way back out of the forest. You would’ve liked to take a quick wash, but it’s too dark and the water’s too cold now. You’ll come back tomorrow when the sun’s high and hot.
You walk in a different direction than the way you came, looking for the little park that Abigail mentioned once. Its completely dark by the time you get there, your feet aching from the long walk and your mind muddled with thoughts.
You would often remind yourself not to think too hard, as your thoughts would often lead you to a dark place you find difficult to crawl out of. You would often regret not having people close enough to call good friends, maybe then you wouldn’t be out here.
You didn’t have a difficult life; you grew up in a loving home with both parents making sure that you were happy and not too spoilt by the fruits of their labour. You know the value of things and you know well to act like your parents raised you with some sense. Your mother passed when you were ten, and your father remarried when you were sixteen. You couldn’t understand why, your father loved your mother so much and you thought it would just be you and him against the world. You understood that your mother wouldn’t want him to live the rest of his life overshadowed by her passing and forget to continue living. So when he introduced you to the woman he met on a business trip, looking happier than he had in six years, you didn’t have the heart to tell him that something was off.
Your mother had always taught you to see the good in people, to give them the benefit of a doubt. There was no mistaking the thinly veiled disgust in your step mother’s eyes when she would look at you. She was quite young, compared to your father, anyway, and as the years went by, he spoilt her. He gave her whatever she wanted when she wanted it as long as it made her happy and you could only watch from the sidelines.
Your father fell ill, and everything went downhill from there.
When he passed, your world shattered and crumbled, leaving you standing in the rubble grasping at the wisps of it slipping through your fingers. Things were okay, for a while, grieving the loss of your father and trying to move on and step without him. Then the news of his will came not long after he was buried.
Your father left everything for his wife, the house, his money, and as you’d found on the first night you were out here, the savings account your mother had set up for you.
You had nothing.
You’d always kept to yourself growing up, and never let anyone closer than you would allow. You were home-schooled – all the way up to your tertiary education – and had no friends to speak of. Your parents never spoke of their family, all you knew and had were your mother and father.
It’s been a while since then. A good long while. It was hard to adjust to having everything at the tip of your fingers to having it ripped away all at once.
The first week was hard. You’d worked odd jobs here and there to keep your head above the water. Sleeping in a motel every night wasn’t ideal, especially since you had to buy food and every thing else. The little money you had ran out quickly, even when you pawned the possessions you did own it wasn’t enough.
You’ve had time to adjust since then. You met Abigail and things were as okay as they could’ve been considering. You remember, she had been pestering you about why you were pacing around on that bridge when she found you.
The deep rushing water below it had looked inviting – an easy way out. No one would’ve missed you, anyway.
You take a breath in sharply, and it burns. Cold air fills your lungs with little pinpricks as night fully settles. You try not to think about anything more as you walk through the park.
It looks empty, large trees and neat grass fields and cobbled walkways. There are dark metal benches scattered about, a trickle of water you can’t pinpoint coming from somewhere.
You’d just stay here for tonight, and find somewhere you wouldn’t be in trouble to stay at in the morning. You’re pretty sure you’re breaking some law being who you are as you sit down on the bench. It’s uncomfortable, the metal cold and biting, but you’d just have to deal for the night.
You dig through your backpack, pulling out the plastic bag with your damp clothes, a jacket that’s still in good condition and the canned peach Abigail sent you off with.
You spread your clothes out on the back of the bench, and you’re hoping they dry properly even if the air feels a little damp.
With a soft sigh, you lift the circular pin on the lid of the can and pull. The peaches are cut into slices and swimming in a sweet juice, and with some guilt you pick a piece out. It’s sweeter than anything you’ve had in a while, and for a moment you feel like crying.
You feel tears burn your eyes and nose as you chew the fruit, washing it down with a sip of the juice that tastes slightly like the can. It wasn’t long before it was all gone, your fingers sticky with the juice and you stare into the empty can with a frown. You wonder about Abigail and if she’s okay right now.
Setting the can down near the foot of the bench that’s bolted into the cobblestone path, you lay back. The sky is fairly clear, with a little smattering of wispy clouds floating by and stars that twinkle in the distance.
Drifting off slowly, you try to find a comfortable position to sleep in – though there isn’t one with this metal bench. Your jacket thrown over you as a makeshift blanket.
You’re not certain how long you sleep for, but when you wake, its to a tapping on your shoulder. The air is thick with something as you breathe in, and a lot damper than it was when you’d settled.
“Ma’am.” A voice calls, prodding your shoulder again, “Hello, miss?”
You open your eyes and your blood runs cold at the sight of the man in uniform standing above you. You sit up, excuses dancing at the tip of your tongue before you realised you could barely see past your nose.
The officer is holding a flashlight, the beam directed somewhere off to your right. A thick fog had settled while you slept, swirling way past the officer’s head.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t sleep here. This is a private park.” His words aren’t unkind, they come out gentle and a little pitying, as though he regrets having to do his job of keeping the riffraff out. He lets you gather your things, stuffing your still damp clothes back into your bag.
He takes a step back when you stand, “If you need somewhere to stay, there’s a shelter not far from here. Couple blocks that way.” He waves his flashlight behind you, towards the park’s exit, “Can’t miss it.”
You could barely see the guy, much less which way exactly he’s directing you to. You turn, squinting at the way you think he pointed. “Thank you... I’m really sorry about –”
“Don’t worry about it...just keep walking straight and you’ll find it.”
He motions with his flashlight again and you take two steps away before stopping and turning back, “Sorry but...the fog...which way...”
The man is gone, no sign of him having been there in the first place. It’s quiet, not even insects are chirping, you don’t hear any retreating footsteps. You stare at the spot he was just in, but didn’t want to linger lest he comes back and he’s decidedly less kind.
You hike your bag up on your shoulder, squinting to see through the fog as you walk towards the exit. The roads are empty, there’s the soft clicking of the traffic lights and the glow of shop lights and street lamps that make it a little bit easier to see. You still look both ways before walking quickly across the street, keeping straight like the officer told you.
It’s quiet, and honestly, it freaks you out a bit. You don’t think it’s that late, and even so, there should be people out and about. You don’t even think you slept for that long, it couldn’t have been more than an hour. There’s no reason for no one to be around, then again, you don’t know this area very well.
You walk for some time, the sound of your footsteps and your steady breaths your only company. You’re keeping your eyes peeled for any sign of the shelter, staring up at the glowing signs and squinting to see through the fog. You passed a convenience store, a pharmacy and a pet shop, all closed and dark inside. You’ve crossed two roads so far; it shouldn’t be much more walking...unless a couple of blocks have two different meanings between you and the officer.
You stop for a moment, taking a breath that settles heavy and damp in your chest. You look back the way you came, look at the signs of the buildings across the street and the one you’re outside of. You can’t see much more than that unless you keep walking straight.
You’re beginning to wonder if he’d only said so to get you out of the park. You take a couple of steps forward and then stop, looking over your shoulder. Your brows furrow and the hairs on the back of your neck stands on end.
It’s said that the mind always knows when you’re being watched, a sixth sense to be aware when someone is staring at you.
You feel watched.
And it isn’t an ordinary feeling.
It feels off, like some primal switch just flicked up in your brain. Briefly, you think that this is how a bunny feels being cornered by a fox. Your heart suddenly kicks against your ribs and something in the back of your mind screams for you to move.
You press forward, the feeling lingers, and intensifies. You walk as quickly as you can, your once steady breaths loud and harsh in the quietness of the night. You try not to look behind you as your ears pick up on the sound of another pair of footsteps. They match yours, and you’re not too certain if it’s just really your own bouncing off the walls of the buildings. When you stop, they stop, and start back up again when you start.
There’s another sound below it. Something snarls like a dog somewhere in the distance behind you, but, like everything else about this moment in this fog, it sounds wrong. Like it’s coming from a creature that’s trying to mimic the sound of an animal.
You stop dead in your tracks, goosebumps rippling along your skin like a wave from the top of your head and downwards. You take a breath, and with one foot in front of the other – you sprint.
Your footfalls are loud in the quiet, and even through your panic you notice the change of the footsteps that mimicked yours. There’s two more with it that falls in rhythm, like a large beast running on all fours.
It’s running faster than you are, the pounding of its feet against the pavement is double the speed of your own. You feel like your lungs are about to burst, your legs burning, and the damp air becomes fire in your throat when you breathe.
Whatever it is snarls again, and it sounds way closer than it was before. You could almost feel the sound rumble through you, and something hot fans at the back of your neck. You nearly trip, stumbling over your own feet in an attempt to run faster. You round a corner blindly, hoping to throw whatever it is off your trail and smack right into someone.
With your momentum, you’d think that you would send yourself and the person sprawling to the hard concrete. The terrified scream you let out rings in your own ears, high pitched and shrill, as you bounce back, falling in a heap. There’s a sharp twinge in your wrist as you brace, and a stinging in your palm when you just barely managed to catch yourself.
“Shit!” the person exclaims – a man, if the deep timbre of his voice was anything to go by. “Are you okay?!”
The man crouches down and you scramble back, then remember that you crashed into him because you were running from something and the panic comes back.
“I—there’s ... Something’s following me! It chased me all the way here...It’s—”
“Hey, hey...it’s okay...you’re fine.” The man seems to look behind you. You could barely see his face, even with him being as close as he was; the fog just seems to get thicker. “It’s just us out here...”
His voice suddenly seems hesitant, and you wouldn’t blame him if he thought you were crazy.
You breathing is still erratic, heart still trying to pound its way out of your chest.
The man’s hands hover at your shoulders, and there’s worry in his tone when he speaks again. “It’s okay. You’re alright, nothing’s out here but us.”
He takes your hand – the one that’s not holding your weight – and presses it to his chest. You almost jump out of your skin at the contact, but his own heart is steady, beating a slow rhythm against his sternum. “Breathe with me.”
He takes a deep breath in, and you feel his chest expand as his lungs fill, you try your best. Your throat is burning, and every breath feels like fine glass is swirling at the back of your mouth. It takes a moment, but eventually, your breaths match his and the adrenaline seeps out with your every exhale.
Your brain finally registers the throbbing of your wrist and palm, and the ache in your sides.
“There you go.” You can faintly make out the smile that spreads across the man’s face, heart shaped and pretty white teeth. “Good now?”
You nod, just barely, and he releases your hand. There’s a shuffling and the sound of a zipper and then he’s holding a bottle of water out to you. You eye it with some suspicion, and he picks up on it.
“It’s just water, promise.” He says, wiggling the bottle a little. “The seal isn’t cracked or anything.”
You take your weight off your palm, wincing at the hot flash of pain from the movement. You right yourself a little, taking the water from him with your uninjured hand and a soft thanks.
“Oh...here...” he keeps the bottle steady in your hand with a palm under the bottom of it, and the other cracking the seal with a twist. He lifts the bottle to your lips and you take a sip, and then a gulp, “Easy, not too fast.”
The water is cool, and a blessing, you didn’t realise how thirsty you were. When you’ve drank at least half of the bottle, the man puts the cap back on and leaves it in your hold.
“Were you looking for something?” he asks gently, and you nod.
“The homeless shelter...I think I’m lost now, though.”
The man tilts his head, “There aren’t any shelters in this area...you’re on the wrong side of the city if that’s what you were looking for.”
You stare at him for a moment, “...Oh.” The officer really did just say it, then. You’re not sure what to say to the man and you glance around at the street that’s still teeming with the thick fog.
You’re not sure what to say to him, and instead, look around the street for any sign of the shelter even though he’d said there isn’t one.
“I think the fog’s lifting...” The man mumbles. The fog is clearing; it’s easier to see further down the street and the man in front of you. He presses his palms against his knees and stands, looking around for a moment before looking down at you. “There aren’t any shelters around...but...I can help you. If you want, I live a bit that way, and I’ve got an extra room...”
This is a bad idea.
He’s quite tall, on the lean side with long limbs. He’s wearing a long black coat, and his black, suede shoes look just as expensive as the watch that peeks from the end of his sleeve at his wrist. The white tee shirt he wears looks a little billowy, like it would swallow his frame once he takes the coat off. He turns a little and you get to admire the sharp cut of his jaw and the elegant slope of his nose.
“I won’t hurt you or anything. I just want to help.” He says, turning back to you. His eyes are dark, but kind as he offers a hand to help you off the concrete. “I’m Hoseok.”
You take his hand, and there’s nothing in the back of your mind telling you to get away. Nothing in his body language that shows ill intent, and you have to remind yourself that some people are simply kind.
He helps you to your feet and you thank him softly, giving him your name. His smile is soft as he nods, lips turned up slightly at the corners, eyes squinted just a bit.
“If you don’t want to, that’s okay. It’s a bit late, though, and you’d have to walk a long way to find the shelter...” Hoseok says softly.
You’re still holding his hand, and the warmth of it grounds you. You honestly shouldn’t, really, you’re smart enough to know you shouldn’t follow random men promising kindness. He really looks like a good person, quietly waiting for your answer as he gives you chance to change your mind should you wish.
He doesn’t rush you, and briefly you wonder if he doesn’t have anything else to do. He was clearly going about his business before you tackled him, though that word should be used lightly considering you’re the one who ended up on the ground.
“Okay...thank you.” When you finally speak his smile broadens, showing pretty teeth and still holding your hand, he leads you in the direction he was coming from before. You feel a bit bad, turning his night on its head and probably inconveniencing him.
The fog is lighter now, the air not as thick with it as you follow along. Hoseok didn’t talk much, not once mentioning your pitiful state of dress, or asking any questions. You’re grateful, not many people would go out of their way to open their homes to someone without one.
The place he leads you to looks expensive and you feel out of place. The road winds and twists into a residential area with houses and three storey apartments. There are cars parked in driveways, neatly trimmed grass and hedges, a fence around every tree. Lampposts dot the sidewalk every thirty or so steps, casting their orange glows across every surface.
Across from there, the road veers off into a more commercial area, with fancier housing and shops and a tall, looming hotel. The streets are quiet, shops already closed for the night and you wonder what time it is. There doesn’t seem to be anyone around, save for you and Hoseok making your way towards the hotel.
The doors slide open with a little mechanical whir, and you balk at the sheer size of the lobby alone. Light fixtures hang from the ceiling, bouncing their glows off of shiny surfaces. There are red and black lounge seats along a far wall, coffee tables of black tempered glass between them and the single seated chairs across. On the other side of the lobby is a little open cafe area, closed of course, with comfortable looking chairs tucked under tables.
There are two elevators, one of which you assume to be for staff. The reception area is a counter space of smooth looking white marble, though no one sits behind it.
Hoseok leads you to the elevator, pressing the button to call it down. You’ve let go of his hand now, as you take in the sight of the place. You wonder what anyone would think seeing someone like you in here. With your shabby clothes that’s seen better days, your dirty sneakers and backpack that looks like it’s moments away from just splitting apart.
There’s no one to see you, as the elevator comes down and opens with a ding. You catch sight of your reflection in the elevator walls, and grimace, regretting not bracing the cold river earlier. You definitely look homeless, your last bath was exactly two days ago, you look grubby standing just a little bit behind Hoseok. Anyone who would see you now would definitely turn their nose up at you and outright ask what you’re doing in their pristine hotel. Though, there isn’t much you can do to prevent that.
When the doors slide close you focus on the button panel, and next to it is a key card scanner and a button under it. The word penthouse is neatly labelled on the button in little black letters, and Hoseok fishes around his coat to pull out a key card. You blink, of course he lives in the penthouse.
The scanner beeps softly and Hoseok presses the button that glows a soft blue before the elevator lurches slight and ascends.
You fiddle nervously with your fingers in front of you, keeping your eyes on your shoes. There’s a shuffle and Hoseok turns to look at you, he’s smiling kindly again, something like pity woven into it and you feel a coil of shame twist in your chest.
“I’m sorry...” You say without much reason, glancing at him and then back down, “For the trouble.”
“No trouble.” Hoseok says softly, concern on his brow, his hand reaching out but stopping short, as though he’s not sure if he could touch you. You’re surprised he even want to. Heck, you’re surprised he’s doing any of this at all. “Really.”
“Do you usually take in random homeless people?” You ask, and his chuckle is light and teasing.
“Only the cute ones.” He says and then looks a little mortified, “Sorry. I’m kidding. It’s just...you looked like you really needed help...so I’m helping.”
“You’re very kind.” You murmur and offer a smile.
He smiles back, not as brightly as his other ones, it curls his mouth less, doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He nods, “I try to be.”
The elevator slows to a stop, doors sliding open to a little well-lit hallway. On the other end of the hall is a wide pane of glass that overlooks the city lights, twinkling in a dance of their own making, and an emergency exit sign jutting out of the wall. You follow Hoseok out of the elevator towards the door which he unlocks with a password — the beeps loud in the quiet — the door opens with a soft thunk and a beep and he lets you walk in first.
The lights are on, as though he’d only planned to be out for a moment. You’re not too sure what to do with yourself now that you’re here, staring at Hoseok’s back unsurely as he takes his shoes off and tucks them neatly on a shoe rack.
He turns to face you, “I don’t mean anything by this, so please don’t misunderstand...”
You nod, waiting for him to continue.
He seems to weigh his words carefully, “Do you want to take a bath?”
You flush, yeah, you surely look grubby enough for him to ask that. It’s warranted, so, you’re not upset that he asked. You’d actually love to, when was the last time you took a bath that wasn’t in the freezing river?
Still though, it’s embarrassing. So you nod silently, “Thank you.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He says, looking genuinely relieved. “You can leave your stuff here and I’ll take care of everything.”
“Okay...” You step out of your shoes, nudging them in a corner before you take your bag off and set it down. The clothes you have are still damp, stuffed in a plastic bag somewhere in the depths of your tattered backpack and Hoseok doesn’t give you a moment before he’s leading you through his home.
The chill of the grey tiled floor runs up your legs through your thin, threadbare socks. You don’t have much time to look around, but you’re aware you’ve passed an open space kitchen and living room, splashes of white, reds and black in the corner of your vision.
He lets you into the bathroom, “Use whatever you need. The towels and things are in the cabinet.”
You turn to face him, “I really can’t thank you enough.” You say earnestly, and he waves you off, turning to leave and shutting the door behind him with a soft click.
“I’ll bring you some clothes that you could use.” He says through the door, his voice muffled. You thank him again and his footsteps trail away.
You turn and glance around the bathroom, floor to ceiling glass panes makes up the furthest wall. Before it is a porcelain bathtub that could easily fit three people, on a raised platform of white stained marble, and that platform on another, creating a single step up in order to get into the tub. The colour of the platforms compliments the dark reflective marble floor. The undersides of the platforms are lined with what you assume must be LED lights, glowing a pale white along the bottom.
The same LEDs line the back of the large wall mounted mirror, giving it an ominous glow. Below the mirror is a dark granite sink with a faucet you’re not even sure how to turn on. The cabinet below the sink house only cleaning supplies, and you look around for the towel space.
The shower takes up nearly the whole wall it’s connected to, frosted glass and jets embedded into the wall.  
You walk over to the shower and realise that was wall beside it sorts of curve and you let out a surprised sound when you walk the short way towards the back of it. The ‘cabinet’ is more of a little walk-in closet, there’s a few fluffy looking bathrobes sorted by length and colour, and towels and washcloths stacked on shelves that match.
Under those are neat little space savers filled with bath oils and shower gels, sweet scented candles tucked into corners. Bar soaps and toilet paper on their own shelves at the bottom, unopened toothbrushes and what have you.
There’s enough room to turn full circle without bumping into anything if you step into it. But you look at your hands and decide to not touch anything until they're clean.
So you walk back out to the sink, frowning at the faucet with no visible way to turn it on; it’s just a sleek piece of metal that curves back into the basin. You look at it to and fro and wave your hand under it, startling slightly when water sprays from the faucet. You hold your hand away and it turns off after a moment. Now, your parents had money but it wasn’t anything like this.
You can’t imagine the cost of this place.
You find hand soap after peeking into the cabinet below the sink again, taking your time to thoroughly wash your hands clean. It’s hard to see the dirt go down the drain against the dark granite, but you’re grateful. You inspect your hands once your done, and finally allow yourself to touch Hoseok’s things. You take a towel down from the shelf, the one that’s at the top of the pile. It’s a nice pale yellow, and near the bottom right corner is a little blue butterfly embroidered into the fabric. After a little debate with yourself, you pull the washcloth that matches from its pile.
You set the towel on the closed lid of the toilet, and strip out of your clothes. You fold them neatly and set them on the floor along with your socks, stuffing your underwear into the pocket of your jacket. You step into the shower and pull the door shut behind you.
You turn the knobs and adjust the water so that’s it not too hot, and for a moment, you simply stand there. The water flows over your skin in rivulets, washing away the sweat and grime of the past two days. You try not to take too long, but made sure that you’re thoroughly scrubbed clean. You try not to use too much of Hoseok’s things, even though he’d told you to use whatever you needed.
You’re not sure how long you were in there, how long you stood letting the water wash away your tears as well.
When you step out, steam billowing put behind you, you wiggle your toes into the fluffy cotton mat under you, wrapping the towel around your form. It feels nice to be clean, skin feeling a little raw from the hot water. You tiptoe to the door and ease it open, and it pushes lightly against a bundle of folded clothes on the ground. Next to it, a pair of warm looking house slippers that you shuffle into immediately after drying your feet.
The clothes: a dark grey long sleeve crew neck tee that hangs just a little off one shoulder, a pair of boxer shorts still in it’s wrapping, and long fleece lined sweatpants that you have to fold at your ankles.
Near the door is a towel rack where you hang the towel you used to dry, and after taking a breath, you step out of the bathroom.
You walk back the way Hoseok led you, and the air is prickled with the scent of freshly made food and it makes you wonder just how long you took in the bathroom.
The kitchen is a wide space, between the area that makes up the entrance hallway is a kitchen island, and much like everything else you’ve seen, is a long, polished slab of dark marble. There’s a sink in the middle, sleek and silver and soft white light comes from the fixings above it. Across from that is a large refrigerator, an electric stove and more counter space. There are a few scattered appliances, a coffee maker and a small espresso machine tucked under a cupboard over them, and a blender with something or the other in it.
Hoseok stands with his back to you, he turns slightly, looking over his shoulder and startles.
“Oh – shit.” He laughs softly, “Hey, was your bath okay?”
“Sorry...” You apologize for scaring him and he waves you off, turning to face you fully. He scans your form but there’s nothing odd in the action, and he nods to himself at whatever he was looking for. “Oh, yeah. My bath was okay, thank you.”
“Dinner’s ready if you...oh...” he glances to the side, back to you and then to whatever he’s got going on the stovetop. “...This might be too heavy for you right now...” He murmurs to himself, a hand scratching at the back of his neck. He looks sheepish, a little guilty about something he didn’t consider.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll eat whatever it is.” You’re not about to make him waste his food, or be impolite.
“Okay, well.” He presses a button on the stove panel, turning to the island. There’s the sound of a drawer opening and he pulls out a kitchen towel, smiling at you. He nods his head to the right, where, tucked to the wall is a modest sized wooden table. There’re two plates of what he’s made already there, and tall glasses of water. “Go ahead.”
You walk over to the table, pulling out the chair to sit. Dinner is creamy mashed potatoes, a hearty portion of steamed mixed veggies and steak that’s somehow done to your liking and already cut into pieces. Your mouth waters at the sight and it smells so good you could cry. Hoseok isn’t finished at the island, so you busy yourself with folding the sleeves of your borrowed tee-shirt up and out of the way.
When he comes over he frowns a little, “You didn’t have to wait, dove.” He takes his seat opposite you, “Please, eat.”
The random pet name flies over your head, not that you would’ve been bothered by it had you been paying attention. Hoseok was kind enough to open his home to you, let you use his things and now he’s feeding you. He could call you whatever he likes.
You murmur a thank you and dig into your food. The sound you make when you take the first bite borders on erotic, but your gracious host doesn’t seem to mind very much. There’s a pleased glint in his eyes and a small curl to his mouth as he watches you eat for a moment.
You’re too hungry to be embarrassed by the intensity of his stare, but you’re mindful to not choke or look like you left your manners somewhere at your feet.
The food settles in your stomach, heavy but it’s a feeling you welcome. You could barely remember the last time you had a full meal. The bite you swallow brings the odd feeling of it slowing down behind your sternum, and you take a long drink of the cold water Hoseok had set out for you.
The man himself barely touched his own food, seemingly content to watch you scarf yours down. He has his chin propped in his hand, a small curl to the corner of his mouth and a glint of something in his eyes.
“Thank you...for the food.” You stare at your plate, drizzled with gravy and what’s left of your dinner. You can’t meet his gaze and you’re not certain why, and the intensity of it is starting to gnaw on your senses.
“No need for thanks, little dove.” Hoseok says, and there’s a soft clink when he finally picks his fork up and it knocks against the round rim of the plate. “Just doing my good deed for the day.”
The pet name strikes you this time, no longer distracted by the delicious food and your rumbling tummy. The way it rolls off his tongue sends a shiver racing down your spine, one that was decidedly unpleasant. There’s something in his tone, the way he stares when you raise your eyes to meet his, something in his beautiful heart shaped smile.
The fine hairs at the back of your neck raises, and you’re back to feeling like a bunny in a fox’s burrow. It was the same feeling you’d gotten earlier in the strange fog; the primal sense that you’re no longer the apex.
Something like a bell jingles in the back of your mind and grows louder until its a wailing alarm.
You should leave. Thank him for being so kind and get as far away from him as possible.
The look in his eyes unnerves you, but it’s something you can’t put a finger on. Just off the edge of his form something flutters, a shadow that shouldn’t be there, but it’s gone so quickly you didn’t have time to focus on it. The feeling intensifies; tugging, now.
You don’t think he’s blinked.
A shudder runs through you, rippling along your skin like a shockwave and Hoseok is calling your name.
“Are you okay?” there’s concern on his brow, his unoccupied hand raised in a wave as though he’s been trying to get your attention for a while. “Do you feel sick?”
“N... no. I’m fine, thank you.” You try to smile, but you’re pretty certain it looks as strained as it feels. He was almost done eating, though he’s paused to asses you with furrowed brows. You feel like you’ve missed something in the past minute.
“I asked if you wanted more food but you just blanked on me.” Hoseok sets his fork down and you feel like you’re losing your mind. The feeling from before is gone, and you’re not even certain if you felt it in the first place. Maybe you’re tired, or maybe the feeling of the comforts you’ve missed for so long is messing with your head.
Hoseok looks perfectly normal, there’s nothing flickering at his back or anything odd in his stare.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure.” You don’t feel certain, and if Hoseok noticed he didn’t comment on it. You pick up the fork again, scraping up the little left of your food onto it quietly. You feel strange, as though the past two minutes moved by too quickly, or like they happened weeks ago and you’re struggling to cling to the details of them.
Hoseok is focused on his plate, and uncertainty at the hope that he keeps his eyes there blooms in your chest. You’re not sure why.
It’s awkwardly quiet for a couple moments, with Hoseok finishing his meal and you, playing with the folded ends of your borrowed tee-shirt. When he was done, he takes the plates and the empty glasses to the sink to clean them and you sit idly at the table.
He’s drying his hands with a dark kitchen towel when he’s done, settling at the edge of the island and facing you. The overhead lights glow against his form, casting shadows along his visage that makes him look sharper; menacing. It clings to his hair like a depiction of something holy, making his dark hair look russet in the gleam.
You go to thank him again, even though he’d probably wave you off like he’s been doing the whole time, but the lights are too bright. The glow of the lights swells and flood your eyes, you squeeze them shut, trying to dispel the ache that comes with it. You turn your head and it feels like you’re neck deep in mud, it takes too much effort to do something so simple.
Panic wells in your chest, sending your heart kicking against your ribs harshly. You take a breath, well, you try, but it gets stuck somewhere in your throat and you choke on it.
There’s two Hoseoks when you peel your eyes open, and they neatly fold the towel they were using and put it down. For a minute, your vision settles, and the man leans against the island nonchalantly, crossing his arms and tilting his head as he watches you spiral.
“You should try to calm down.” He says softly, and you hate the way you cling to the sound of his voice when it’s very clear what’s happening.
“Wh...” Your tongue feels heavy, and the words you try to say are slurred and unintelligible. You move to stand, trying to get away even when your limbs feel like there’s a ball and chains at the ends of them. The world tilts on an axis, doubling as you make to your feet, you’re not sure if it’s leaning or you are.
Hoseok reaches you in a single step and a strangled sound escapes you. He places a hand on your shoulder, gently guiding you back into the chair. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing your body can’t handle.”
You can barely hear him, your ears feel as though there’s cotton in them, reducing his words to a muddled murmur. You can’t feel the way his fingers curl into the hair at your nape, but you notice the shift as he tilts your heavy head back to look up at him.
He’s smiling, you think. Pretty and heart shaped, all white teeth and sinister. And there’s that feeling again, as he says something you can’t hear, can’t focus, your eyes are closing.
There’s something dark and broken that flickers against the light above his head and shadows that dance at his back.
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When the morning came and you didn’t wake, Hoseok wasn’t too concerned. He watched over you as once was his duty to another, tucked you into the sheets and the blankets and let you sink into the warmth of them. He sits in a chair at your bedside, simply watching the rise and fall of your chest and the pinch of your brow as sweat beads upon it.
Your body is fighting hard to flush out what he put in, and he admits, he may have given you a bit too much of it. It wasn’t his intention, but nothing can be done now but wait for you to come to.
When the afternoon comes and the first sign of your conscious shows in a weak attempt to rouse yourself, and a jumble of words that Hoseok deciphers with a well-trained ear it; was clear you weren’t fully there yet. Your skin was too warm, eyes not nearly focused enough, barely looking at him, and then the contents of your stomach come in a rush of bile and acid.
Hoseok tends to you gently, patiently, taking you to the bath and settling you in a way so that you don’t slip under and drown in your unconscious state. He cleans your mess, changes the bedding, puts you in a fresh set of clothes and lays you back to rest.
You stay asleep throughout the day, and Hoseok isn’t too concerned.
Humans are such fragile, foolish things. To him, you’re a porcelain doll, pretty to stare at and admire if it sits on the top of a shelf behind a case. Take it out of that case and it’s so easily broken. Hoseok is like a child in a sandbox of his own creation with too much power in his fingers. If he isn’t careful, he could shatter your form and lose you to the dunes.
The fear you felt the night before played you directly into his hands – never mind he had nothing to do with it – and Hoseok knows, you don’t have to be inclined to feel the weight of his presence. Your mind knew that something wasn’t quite right -- unconsciously or not --, and yet, you willingly followed.
Foolish.
Though, it was purely coincidental that you ran into him, he had been on his way to somewhere and wondering about the strangeness of the fog that rolled in out of nowhere. He hadn’t missed the weird quiet and lack of people either, it hadn’t been that late.
He doesn’t know exactly what you were doing in it, running around the way you were like a mouse in a maze. It’s something that sits at the back of his mind.
The morning of the second day brought no change; you were in and out of your drug induced sleep, and now, Hoseok was a little concerned.
::
“How much did you give her?”
There’s a squeak of leather as Seungcheol crosses his arms, when it’s quiet for far too long he gives Hoseok a look.
“A little.”
Seungcheol leans over your sleeping form, raising a hand to rest against your forehead. Hoseok would think you were dead if it weren’t for the steady rise and fall of your chest.
“If it was a little, you wouldn’t have called.” Seungcheol says, shaking his head, the dark waves of his hair brushing his eyelashes.
“Well, she’s not dead.”
“Dude.” Seungcheol looks a little disturbed, straightening to stare at Hoseok with a displeased furrow in his brow. “You can’t just – humans have limitations.”
“I’m aware, Cheol. Thank you.” Hoseok grumbles, and he ignores the raise of Seungcheol’s eyebrow and the clear disbelief in his eyes.
“‘Course you are.” He rolls his eyes and then sighs lowly, he turns back to you, placing his hand on your forehead again until the tension in your face fades. “Don’t give her any more of that shit. She should wake up sometime today, maybe.”
Hoseok knows better than anyone the limitations of humans. Not that he acknowledges them, he hadn’t the need to in a long time, but he should be careful at least.
Hoseok leads the way out of his guest bedroom with Seungcheol following and closing the door gently behind him. Walking to the kitchen he could feel his eyes burning into the back of his head.
Hoseok takes his time, fetching a glass from one of his cupboards and the whisky he keeps stashed away for his more stressful days. “Spit it out.”
Seungcheol braces his arms on the other side of the island, eyes dark. “Hoseok. I normally don’t care what you get up to; it’s not my business.” He says, looking somewhere to Hoseok’s right. “You don’t fuck around with humans. Who’s the girl?”
Hoseok hums, looking down at the amber liquid in his glass with a contemplative stare. “Street urchin. No one anyone would miss or bother to look for.”
“So you just took her off the street?” Seungcheol frowns, but Hoseok could tell from the look in his eyes that he knows it’s not that simple.
“She came willingly.” Hoseok corrects, taking a sip of the alcohol he could barely taste.
He sets the glass down on the island and pours the whisky to fill half. Seungcheol is quiet, and Hoseok hates it. It gives his mind a moment to wonder, to open a box he’s kept locked and chained.
On most days, Hoseok barely knows himself. He remembers what he’s supposed to be – what he was – and sometimes, that part of him rears its head to fight with what he’s become. Wings dipped in gold and divinity at the end of his fingertips battle endlessly with the shadows that encased him.
A memory of a time he held something as fragile as glass in his hands, broken before he could properly hold it by someone who was supposed to keep it safe. The ache of it burns like a rash that never goes away, always there, only hiding under his skin until it flares up again.
“Just... don’t do anything stupid.” Seungcheol says after a while, watching Hoseok carefully.
“You and your moral compass.” Hoseok shakes his head, and just like that, the golden light is bundled up tightly and pushed back into the corner where he long hid it.
Seungcheol heaves a sigh, shaking his head, picking up his bag he threw on the island counter when he got here.
“I need you to do something for me.” Hoseok says, watching the light shine through the glass in pretty crystal shapes. There’s a furrow of Seungcheol’s brows, but he tells Hoseok to continue with a raise of his chin. “Keep an eye out for a fog.”
“A fog? Why?”
“She was in one the night before.” Hoseok sucks air in through his teeth, “and she wasn’t alone.”
Seungcheol hums, “Alright.”
Hoseok drinks the last of the whisky in one go and waves a hand at Seungcheol, “You can go now.”
“Thank you, Cheol. Don’t know what I’d do without you.” Seungcheol grumbles and then raps his knuckles against the countertop. “I’ll be over here for a few days, gotta sort some things out. Call if you need me.”
Hoseok watches him leave, stuffing his hands into his pocket as he walks back to the bedroom where you still lay asleep.
He sits on the chair, watching the rise and fall of your chest, every minute twitch of your facial features. Restlessness tugs at his limbs as the sun makes its descent western sky, spraying the dimming canvas in hues of lilac and peach.
Something in the back of his mind asks what exactly he’s doing. There was no reason – there wasn’t a reason for him to take you in. A sprout of boredom, maybe, or something involuntary.
Hoseok stares out the window at the slowly darkening sky and the soft glimmer of early evening stars, until the sky is navy and darkness clings to the room.
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Your mouth feels like someone’s stuffed cotton in it, and your throat feels like sandpaper when you try to swallow.
You haven’t opened your eyes, laying on what you presume is a bed, if the softness beneath you was anything to go by.
There’s not much that you remember, even as the fog in your mind clears little by little. You remember eating, you remember feeling strange like someone had shrunk you and shook you around in a jar of water. You remember the fear that quickened your heart and your breaths and Hoseok, standing above you like a malevolent God.
You remember the strangeness of his form, and even now your mind can’t comprehend it. You’re not even certain if what you saw was actually real and not an effect of whatever Hoseok had drugged you with.
Drugged.
He drugged you.
Your eyes open and the room is dark. The blankets are thick and heavy and they make you feel warm. There’s a window to your far left, curtains drawn back to show the city in all it’s glory.
Slowly, you sit up, pushing yourself upwards on arms that feel a little weak, and find – to your horror – the clothes you were wearing before aren’t what you’re wearing now.
You take a breath before the panic could set in. You could feel it rolling under your skin like a rumble of thunder before rain, and you try your best to stay calm. You need to find a way out of here.
The apartment seems to be quiet as you slide your feet out of the bed and onto the floor. You barely register the chill of it when you stand, sock-less feet making it easier to sneak over to the door without making a sound. You don’t know where Hoseok put your things, and you don’t have time to go looking for them.
The door isn’t locked, and doesn’t make noise when you push it open slightly to peek out through the little gap you made. You recognise the hallway, the bathroom is two doors down on the other side, and opening the door a little more, you poke your head out tentatively. 
You don’t breathe as you listen, but it’s so quiet, so much so that your exhale seems too loud, and there’s a soft ringing in your ears that set you on edge. Stepping outside the room, you contemplate your next course of action: You can bolt right for the door and get out, but risk making too much noise if Hoseok is indeed here. Or, you can slowly and quietly make your way over and slip out without cluing your kidnapper in on your escape.
Can it be called kidnapping if you were living on the streets?
The door seems miles away as you inch slowly towards the open kitchen and living room area. There are a few lights on, the same LED lighting strips run along the edge of the large pane windows and glows an ominous blue and the lights over the marble island had been dimmed. Both rooms seem empty and you couldn’t be more thankful.
Like a mouse, you skitter across along the hallway space that divides the two, down the little platform at the entrance and take one more step towards the door.
The door that seems further back than it was a second ago.
The stretch of space that was just an arm’s length away was now more than a hallway’s length. You stand still and stare at it, reaching an arm out in case you’re suddenly tripping balls but your hand swipes through air and falls limply at your side.
You look behind you and the rooms and hallway are just as they were, and turning back, the door was right where it was before. You could’ve sworn there was a handle on it. You place your palm against the cool, smooth surface where the handle should be and in the face of your freedom thwarted, you pinch your thigh.
You must be dreaming. The pain flares and grounds you and you realise there’s no explanation for this. You’re wide awake. Still drugged then. But you feel fine. There’s no swirling vision or heavy limbs, your mouth doesn’t feel like someone squeezed glue into it; you’re fine. This doesn’t make sense.
You back away from the door and almost stumble against the raised ledge behind your heels. Steadying yourself with a hand against the wall, you turn, and immediately, notice the darkness of the hallway.
Your breath catches in your throat and your heart slams so harshly against your sternum it hurt. There’s that feeling again, it sends a shiver racing down your spine and scattering goosebumps along your skin. You’re being watched. You are not the apex here.
You want to run, or curl up into a ball and hope the darkness hides you. Fear coils into your muscles and locks them tight, and you’re left standing still, eyes darting around trying to make sense of the shapes in the dark.
There’s a darkness that curls at the center of the space a few feet away from you, undulating and crashing in on itself in an uncoordinated dance of chaos. It’s somehow darker than the darkness – stands out against it like white on black paint. It doesn’t make sense to you, and it could simply be your mind turning against you and scaring you further.
It slowly floats towards you, wraps around you in a languid, bored way, like smoke, no longer as tangible as it seemed before. You don’t feel it’s caress, but it’s cold, like you’d submerged yourself into a tub full of ice and water. You feel as though you’ll pass out, like the black wisps of strange smoke is filling your lungs and carving its way through. There’s fear, which is yours, and something that isn’t.
Something dark and lonely, desperate and afraid. It’s sad, so sad that you feel like you’ll drown in it, that tears would well in your eyes and squeeze your throat tight. There’s anger. It feels as though you can burn the world and revel in it.
The smoke snaps back and away from you, crumples on itself violently and then the lights are on, blinding you.
Hoseok is standing in front of you. There’s a mix of conflicted emotions on his face like he can’t settle on one before the storm in his eyes calm.
There’s a tenseness to his brow, and he studies you quietly with a tilt of his head.
“You’re awake.”
He takes one step forward and you take two back in turn. His eyes dart down to your feet and quickly back to your face, and draws the foot he put forward back to himself.
“I won’t hurt you.”
You scoff before you could help it, fear pushed slightly to the side as your anger rushes forward. “Right. Like I’ll believe that after you fucking drugged me.”
“Like I said, it was nothing your body couldn’t handle.” Hoseok counters calmly, “If I wanted to hurt you, you’d be dead.”
“Then why am I here? What do you want?” His threat didn’t go unheard, it settles into your mind and buries itself underneath everything else you’re trying to absorb for you to freak out about later.
Hoseok smiles, and its bright in its visage, every bit of sweet and caring as you thought him to be. Dimples you haven’t noticed before sinks into his laugh lines, and you think briefly, it makes him even more dangerous. He looks so harmless, as his smile blossoms and blooms into the heart shape you remember from the night before.
“Just you.” He says, eyes glinting with something you’ve decided is more than a little crazy.
You take another step back and he remains in his spot. If you’re quick enough – just enough – you can make it to the door. You might be able to outrun him.
“You can leave if you like.” He says, like he could tell what you’re thinking – or read your mind – and his smile fades, like a raincloud swelling and covering the warm rays of the sun. “Can’t guarantee you’d get very far, so I advise against it.”
You’re not sure if he’s being honest. Though, he looks pretty damn serious. He stares at you quietly, intensely, like he’s daring you to make that mistake. You hazard a look at the door behind you and the handle is still gone.
“What are you?” you ask, turning to face him and he’s directly in front of you. The startled squeak that leaves you makes him chuckle. Bending at his waist, Hoseok stares right into your eyes and you feel like your heart might just burst out of your chest and take off running.
Bunny in a fox’s burrow.
“Hm.” He hums, “Now you’re asking questions.” He straightens with a smile and steps aside, gesturing to the kitchen with a slight nod of his head. “I’ll tell you eventually. For now though, you should eat.”
You stay rooted to your spot and decide that if he wants you to move, he’s going to have to move you himself. He’s insane if he thinks you’d be eating anything he gives you.
“Come now, dove. Don’t be that way.” He sighs, stares at you for a moment later before nodding. He turns on his heel and walks into the kitchen without you.
There’re the soft clangs of him moving things around, doing whatever he’s doing in there.
“You’ve been unconscious for two days, and you’ve been sick. You shouldn’t be standing.” You hear him say from the kitchen, and you think you could make another attempt at the door but the handle is still missing, so you have no choice but to go.
You eye him suspiciously when you enter, watching as he butters a piece of toast and puts it on a plate. He doesn’t look at you as you hover unsurely at the dining table, watching the lights catch on the dark marble island counter.
“I won’t give you anything to drink. Get it yourself if you’re worried I’d try something.” He says softly, and not unkind. There’s a shift in his tone and the way his body moves as he brings the plate over. You feel like the man who was standing in front of you a couple of minutes ago in the hallway had hidden himself away and the man you’d met on the street had crawled his way back to the surface.
He sets it down on the table and walks back around the island, opposite from where you’re standing, and out of the kitchen.
You’ve been here for two days – whatever he’d given you must have been strong as hell – trapped here with...him. You’re certain you can’t call him a man, he’s something more than that and you won’t know until he tells you. Most of the memory of the night you came here are blurry and frayed at the edges, making them impossible to cling to and analyse.
There was something strange in the moments before the drug kicked in and right before you passed out. Something strange about Hoseok, but you can’t seem to recall it. It’s like it happened years ago.
The inconsistencies of your memory leave you on edge, and you eye the two slices of perfectly buttered toast on the plate. He’s given you something light enough that your stomach won’t be upset. As the thought comes to mind you faintly remember being sick at some point, but that too is fuzzy and you aren’t sure if its real. At least now the change of clothes makes sense, though, it doesn’t make you feel any better. He could’ve done anything to you while you were drugged and unconscious.
You wonder what he could possibly want with you. Why you, of all people? You’re just a girl who had everything taken from her and thrown off the ladder, now at rock bottom fending for yourself. There’s nothing left of you that could be given.
You feel Hoseok’s presence before you see him, a sort of odd pressure in the back of your mind and your chest. He pokes his head into the room like he’s checking to see if you’d started eating or not and doesn’t look surprised to see you’d left the toast untouched and you’re still standing.
“The toast is fine, you know.” He says, and there’s an understanding in his eyes when he looks at you. He knows you don’t trust him, though, he doesn’t seem too bothered by it. He sighs when you don’t make a move and comes into the kitchen. He takes the same route as before, walking around the opposite side of the island – away from you – until he’s standing at the other side of table.
“Okay.” He says, picking up one of the toast slices, he bites into it and stares at you while he chews. “Make something yourself then.”
You blink, “Huh?”
“The bread is in the fridge if you want. There’re oats if you prefer that instead. Stick to light things. I’d rather not be cleaning up after you.” You don’t understand him. In the short time you’ve known him, he’s like a square that’s trying to fit into a circle. The circle is too round to accommodate his sharp edges, but he somehow manages to get just half of the square through, even if the circle is struggling to contain it.
Not to mention the weird things that’s happened within the half hour you’ve been awake, things he’s yet to explain to you. Matter of fact, strange things has been happening since you left Abigail. The police officer, the fog, and whatever the hell was out there in it with you. You’re not even sure if that was real either.
You feel like if you focus on it, you’ll go crazy. So your mind does the only thing it can do to protect itself – pushes it away into a corner to mull over later along with everything else.
“I’d rather not.” You no longer feel the need to show him gratitude. You feel stupid, for one, why did you think trusting a random stranger would be a good thing?
Hoseok shrugs, dropping the half-eaten toast back onto the plate. He walks around you, close enough that the hairs on the back of your neck stands on end, that the warning bells are going crazy in your head again.
It’s uncomfortable being this close. The reaction is visceral, unable to ignore and you wonder why you hadn’t felt it the night before. Why you’d manage to follow him all the way here and not noticed. Maybe you had, briefly and in little moments that were small enough for you to brush them off.
You watch him watch you as he circles you like a vulture, “What are you?”
“Would you believe me if I said I was human?” He asks from behind you, and it feels like a terrible idea to have your back to him. He sounds amused, like this is nothing but a little game to him – just something to pass time while he’s bored.
As he rounds your right, your eyes meet the darkness of his. “You’re not.” It would be strange if you still thought he was after everything that’s happened already.
Hoseok hums, a twinkle lighting his eyes, “Perceptive, aren’t we?” There’s something like pride in his voice but you’re not sure what it’s for, “What do you think I am?”
“You expect me to guess correctly?” The difference in your height does nothing to stop you from glaring at him. He tilts his head at you, dark locks of his hair swaying against his forehead gently.
“No.” Hoseok smiles, “But it’ll make things interesting. I like games; play along.”
A shiver runs down your spine at his tone and the darkness in his eyes. He takes a step away from you and it feels like you can finally take a breath. His movements are fluid as he pulls the dining chair out from below the table. He sits gracefully, propping his chin in his palm as he watches you expectantly.
“Do you want a hint?” He asks, smiling sweetly.
“Why don’t you just tell me?” Your voice was barely above a whisper. You’re tired of whatever game he’s playing at, sick of the fear that keeps you standing still as he stares you down.
He stares at you like you’re a complex puzzle he’s trying to piece together. “I used to be an angel. Fallen from grace.”
You’d laugh at the absurdity of his words, but he has that look again. He has that look that makes you believe him, and everything seems to click into place and make sense, even if you barely understand it at all.
“Okay.” You nod, and then take a seat. You focus on the gentle waves of his dark hair and not his eyes, “Why am I here? Why can’t I leave?”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t. You can if you want to. I said that I can’t guarantee you’d get far; You weren’t alone out in that fog.”
You’d almost forgotten about that. Recent happenings had been enough to push it to the back of your mind. You knew you weren’t losing your mind that night, something had definitely chased you and you’re positive it wasn’t a regular animal.
“But that’s another topic.” Hoseok mumbles, more to himself than you, and it looks as though his thoughts strayed elsewhere for a moment before he focused. “You should be thanking me.” He says, tilting his head to meet your gaze with a smile.
He couldn’t be seriously wanting you to thank him. For what? Saving you? For all you know it could’ve been one of his tricks. Why would you thank him? He says that you could leave if you like – him messing with you since you woke up says otherwise. He’s not actually giving you a choice. You’re not going anywhere unless he lets you.
When you remain silent, he leans forward, pink tongue darting out to moisten his lips. “There’s nothing for you out there, though.”
You know he’s right. But that doesn’t justify what he’s doing. You assume he doesn’t care, if you were him, you wouldn’t feel the need to abide by law either.
You’d never been much for fantasy stories, growing up you were well aware that they were just that – stories. Your parents weren’t very religious, but you’d say grace before meals, pray before you go to sleep and when you woke up. Your parents would sometimes quote the bible when you were being naughty and every now and again you’d find yourself in a church for Sunday mas.
Your father used to say that the bible is a book of stories and lessons, and even if you aren’t to abide strictly by it, you should at least heed it. There’s someone up above, watching always.
The angels in the bible were described differently than the man before you, you think. Can angels really do things so bad that it gets them casted out?
Did he do something bad that got him sent here like some wayward child sent off to boot camp?
Even if a part of you is ever doubtful, his existence proves the existence of a higher being and you have some choice words for them.
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In the days that go by, you remain wary of Hoseok. You don’t trust him, but you appreciate him letting you hover about him anytime he makes you something to eat. He makes everything from scratch and you wonder most of the time if it’s a skill he just has or was it something he had to hone on his own.
He barely bothers you, goes about his business, which really, entails him sitting in the living room and ignoring you.
Some days is another story entirely. You came to realise quickly that Hoseok is fond of games, usually at your expense. A shadow following you here, whispers that come from no where and bounces off the walls.
There are moments when you catch glimpses of something out of the corner of your eye – a figure lurking in the darkness, just beyond your line of sight. When you turn to look, there’s nothing there, leaving you to wonder if it was ever really there at all. You’ve seen shit at the corner of your vision way too many times for it to be a coincidence. You try to brush them off as tricks of the mind, but deep down, you know it’s not that simple.
Hoseok is always there when it happens, some sort of mirth in his eyes like your suffering is amusing.
The feeling of being watched becomes a constant presence, a weight on your shoulders that you can’t shake no matter how hard you try. Every time you turn around, you half expect to find Hoseok lurking in the shadows, a smug smirk playing on his lips as he revels in your discomfort.
For the first week it’s been this way, and when the second week started, he’d leave at one point during the day. Bored of you most likely, not that you’re complaining; at least he was no longer trying to send you crazy.
He’d give you the same instruction he did the night be brought you, use anything you need with additions of ‘Don’t cause trouble’ and ‘Stay put’. You always roll your eyes at that, the door remains the same; missing it’s handle. You couldn’t leave even if you wanted to.
You would stand in the living room, which looks much like the rest of Hoseok’s penthouse apartment; sleek and dark. There’s a few accents of white and red, black leather couches and clear glass tables. A flat screen TV you’ve never seen used mounted on the wall, a fluffy white rug covering the space between it and the couch. You’ve seen no other electronics besides that, nothing that you can use to contact anyone.
He’d left you things to occupy your time – like you’re a child – books and puzzles and what have you. And you found that the TV works if you become bored of the other things.
Weirdly enough, there’s people outside and below, unlike the night you came when it looked like a ghost town. You can see the glint of the sun bouncing off of shiny cars driving in and out of the hotel’s compound. Little people walking around as they go about their days, oblivious to your plight.
Sometimes you would hear someone out in the hallway beyond the door, like someone coming to clean and you would bang on the door and be as loud as you possibly could. It’s like you’re a ghost. You asked him about that once, and he told you that he can mimic spaces, make it seems as though something is or isn’t there.
Sometimes Hoseok would come back from his little excursions and be as normal as he could be. He’d talk to you like he isn’t holding you captive, ask you about what you did for the day as though there’s a million and one things you could do while there. You’d answer as to not be on the wrong side of him, even though it’s clear that he doesn’t quite mind you not saying anything back. He’d ask you what you’d like for dinner, and he’d eat with you.
On days like those it feels... normal. You feel comfortable and the nature of the situation escapes you. Like this had been your life for as long as you could remember. And sometimes you think, that maybe, if things were different. If perhaps he hadn’t kidnapped you, ‘helping’ you or otherwise. Maybe if your life had gone a little differently and you’d met him under different circumstances...then maybe.
Sometimes on those days he’d sit quietly as you give him little pieces of you; telling him about your childhood and not so important things. He’d clear the coffee table to put a puzzle together and ask you to help him with it.
Some days he’d come back and he wouldn’t be in a good mood. He’d stand and brood at the large windows looking out, lost in thought. On those days he’d look gone, vacant, as though whatever going on in his head was paramount to the reality around him. His eyes are sad then, and he’d be so quiet you’d forget he’s there. He’d make dinner, and he would not eat.
On days like those, if you wake at night and venture out of your room, you’d find Hoseok as you did the night you first woke up. A swirling ball of shadows and smoke somewhere about, and the lights are always off. It scares the hell out of you every time. It reminds you of what he is, despite the nature of his existence, there’s something very dark about him. He scares you mostly, even when he’s being nice, it’s unnerving. You’d try to stay clear of him then.
Something in your mind had been made aware that he is beyond your understanding. He’s stronger and faster than you, can do things that makes your brain grind to a halt trying to process. Sometimes it feels like he’s in your head, watching your every move and surveying your every thought. It scares you.
On days like those, the last thing you want to do is sleep.
Sleep evades you and when you do finally catch it, your dreams are wrought with nightmares of shadows and screams and blood. Sometimes Hoseok is there and he’s less kind than he’s ever been, and you’re lost in darkness and can’t find your way out.
Sometimes it’s a man with red hair lurking at the corners of them, smiling and taunting you. You feel like you could never escape them, like your dreams lasts the entire night and leave you exhausted when you wake up.
The room you woke up in so long ago was yours; Hoseok stays clear of it and never enters without knocking. One day Hoseok had brought you clothes you’re certain costs more than your life, they’re mostly comfort clothes as you have nowhere to be at no point in time. From sweaters to tee-shirts, lounge pants to bicycle shorts and an assortment of underwear that made you scowl at him.
That day you asked him just how long he was going to keep you captive – he didn’t much like the use of that word, prefers ‘keeping you safe’. He told you about the mysterious animal that chased you in the fog, that he and a friend are looking into it and reminds you that you wouldn’t get very far should you leave. You reminded him that he’s not letting you go anywhere.
You stare up at the ceiling, counting the swirling pattern from one corner to the next. You’ve lost count of them every time and you’ve lost count on just how long you’ve been here. Hoseok remains the same, fluctuating between rivalling the sun and being the moon that sometimes eclipse it.
It’s the morning of yet another day, and you can hear Hoseok moving about already. Sometimes you wonder if he ever sleeps...does he need sleep? He eats...that much is for certain, so by any rate he functions partially human.
You sigh softly, getting out of bed and shuffling your feet to the house slippers Hoseok gave to you. There’s the smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen, the sound of Hoseok moving about, and it sounds like he’s in a good mood if his humming is anything to go by.
You wash up for the morning and get changed before carrying yourself out to the kitchen.
Hoseok looks devastatingly domestic and the smile he directs at you is enough to send your mind haywire. These past few days has been confusing for you. Though the initial fear you felt for him was there, lately, it’s been less. You’ve found yourself missing him when he goes off to do whatever he does during the day and you’re excited when he comes back. You’re chalking up the reason for that being that he’s the only person you’ve been in contact with for possibly a month or two.
On some of the days where he would come back and be less than happy, and the lights go out like they’re scheduled to and Hoseok is no longer tangible. When he hovers in a little ball of controlled chaos that blends into the darkness, you sit and wait. You wait until he’s there again and the lights are back on and he looks at you like you’re something he’s lost.
It confuses you as much as his smile that sends your heart thrumming against your ribcage in a dance that isn’t out of fear. You actually can’t remember when you’d stopped being afraid of him.
“I’m going out today.”
Your brows furrow, he’s never told you that he’s leaving before. He brings over a breakfast of pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon and sliced fruit. A sealed carton of orange juice and a glass for you.
“Okay...?”
Hoseok smiles, “Okay.”
::
When lunch came around, you’re sitting at the island watching Hoseok prepare the ingredients for whatever he’s going to make.
You don’t really feel the need to watch him as closely as you did when you first got here, now you simply do it because there isn’t anything better to do.
He moves in the kitchen like it’s a dance, turning to and fro with a grace you could only hope to have.
He’s already got something on the stove, some sort of sauce you think. It smells amazing and you’re looking forward to whatever it could be.
He looks a bit in his head, brows furrowed as he concentrated a little too hard to just be cutting an onion into crescent slices. He mutters something under his breath, turning to stir the contents in the pot before going back at the onion.
“Hoseok?” You call softly as he sets the onion aside in a bowl and pulls something else onto the cutting board. For a moment you’re not sure if he’s heard you, with just the steady sound of the knife hitting the board, he hums, glancing at you. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes.” You can tell he’s in one of his moods, but he’s actively trying to be pleasant. He fills a pot with water and sets it on the stove and then turns the oven on to heat up. “What is it?”
His tone isn’t harsh, just a tad bit impatient.
“Is cooking just something that you can do? Or did you have to learn?”
He turns, pauses, stares at you for a moment and then chuckles, “It’s a skill I acquired through a lot of trial and error. I had a long time to perfect it, though.”
“How long are we talking?” You’re a little intrigued, besides him telling you that he’s a fallen angel, he hasn’t told you exactly how he became one or how long he’s been here.
He tilts his head and smiles gently in the way he does when he’s thinking if he should answer you honestly or not before shrugging, “Long enough.”
You sigh, “Fine. Don’t tell me. You’re probably older than dirt anyway.”
A surprised laugh leaves him, high pitched and a little untamed. The sound is infectious and now you’re laughing too.
Happiness looks good on him, you wish he wore it often.
When it was about four in the afternoon, you hear the closing of Hoseok’s door and the sound of his footsteps walking up the hall.
You’re curled up against the corner of the couch, tucked under a yellow blanket with a book in your hand. You smell him before you see him; the cologne he’s wearing reaching the room before he does.
He steps in and stands near the entrance, the end of his coat brushing against his shins while he secures a watch to his wrist. His hair’s grown longer since he brought you here, curling against his jaw and the bangs are long enough to almost hide his eyes if not for the middle part. The rings on his fingers catch the light of the sun, and he finally settles, a serious look on his face as he watches you for a moment.
He seems to be contemplating something, the muscle of his jaw tensing as he grinds his teeth. He lifts a hand and crooks a finger at you.
Unwrapping yourself from the blanket, you walk over to him. He doesn’t say anything, but levels you with a look and guides you into the hallway with a hand at your back. “I’m leaving the door alone.”
The door is practically singing your freedom, the silver handle looks like a lighthouse at a stormy sea at night. Hoseok is looking down his nose at you when you finally tear your eyes away. His eyes narrow as though he can hear your thoughts and steps away from you.
“Don’t go anywhere.”
And you didn’t. You messed around with the TV, got bored, read another book, and decide to take a nap. Doing it all to ignore the door. You wouldn’t get very far. You really don’t want to know what Hoseok meant by that.
There isn’t anywhere you can go, you have nothing to your name. You get three square meals, clean clothes and a bed to sleep in when night comes – you think about Abigail, you wonder if she’s alright – you’d actually be quite dumb to go out there. Hoseok hasn’t done much but mentally exhaust you, you aren’t chained up in a dank room and being made to do things against your will. It’s actually quite pleasant.
You shuffle to your room and crawl under the covers, suddenly too sleepy to keep your eyes open. You would usually take naps when there’s nothing else for you to do, but you’re never this sleepy. It’s like your body is demanding you close your eyes and pass out right now.
You open your eyes a couple of minutes later and realise you didn’t know you fell asleep. It’s dark out already.
You throw the covers back, scoot to the edge of the bed, and put your feet right into water. You look down at it confused – did you leave a tap on? Hoseok would probably throw you out a window for flooding his place. Or maybe he’ll start up his silly mind games again and drive you nuts.
You’re not too concerned about it, strangely enough, as you get up, the water soaks into the legs of your pants. It’s high enough to lap against the middle of your shins and you curse softly, how could you forget to turn the tap off?
You swish through the water, reaching the door and pulling it open. The water is gone and you’re standing in the living room. Hoseok sits on the couch, one leg lapped over the other, bobbing idly as he turns the page of a thick book balanced on his thigh.
“Hoseok.” You sigh, “Stop it. I’m not in the mood for your stupid games.”
He turns his head slowly to look at you, crooks a finger like he did at you earlier. You stomp over to him, not caring that you probably look rather childish doing so. When you stop in front of him, he gently puts the book aside and then wraps his fingers around your wrist.
Your pulse flutters and you pray that he can’t feel it. A soft squeak leaving you as he tugs you to him, you fumble to catch yourself, trying not to trip over your feet and the carpet. Your hand lands beside his head, sinking into the leather, his eyes meet yours through his hair, and when he pulls you down, you follow without question.
He settles you in his lap, one hand gripping your waist and the other snaking upward to bury itself into your hair. He leans forward, nosing along the underside of your jaw and when the warmth of his tongue streaks against your pulse, a shiver races down your spine before you catch yourself. You push against his shoulder, “Hoseok.”
His chuckle sounds dark to your ears, his grip on your waist tightens enough that you fear you’d bruise. His teeth drag against your earlobe and yours sink into your bottom lip. “Don’t act like this isn’t what you want.”
His words wrap around your head, burying themselves under your skin and makes home there. The hand in your hair slowly slides out of it, moving down until it’s wrapped around your throat. His thumb presses against your racing pulse, a smirk curling at the corner of his mouth. “You want me to break you.”
It’s a moment of bliss, warmth spreading through you before it instantly chills. It’s all fun and games until he’s actually trying to choke you out. Your breaths come in shallow gasps as Hoseok’s grip tightens around your throat, squeezing the air from your lungs. Panic surges through you, and for a moment, you’re certain you’ll pass out from lack of oxygen.
He’s going to kill you.
Desperate, you claw at his hands, trying to pry them away, but his strength overwhelms you. Your struggles intensify as you realize the danger you’re in.
He stands swiftly and lets you go, and you crash unceremoniously into the glass coffee table, nearly breaking your wrist trying to catch your weight. You cough and gasp, clutching at your throat that burns with every breath you take. Your eyes sting with tears as you scramble to put distance between you and him.
He watches you, amused, taking slow steps towards you. He laughs, the sound echoing off the walls and you realise – there’s nowhere to run.
You look up at him, and you’re now facing the windows. The LEDs that line the perimeter of them are glowing a sinister red and they’re the only source of light. There’s something slick under your palms, something you slide in as you try to get up. Inspecting it in the lighting does nothing, as it simply looks dark against your skin, but, there’s no mistaking the scent of copper.
Gazing around, you’re sitting in a pool of blood. Hoseok is nowhere to be found. The pool stretches off like something was dragged through it, going out the living room and down the hall.
You follow it, against your better judgement. This is the worst trick he’s ever played.
Your pants stick to your skin uncomfortably, and you wipe your hands hurriedly against the front of them. It doesn’t do much but spread the mess of blood around. The trail leads into your bedroom, and you stand outside the slightly ajar door with your heart pounding against your ribs.
Raising a hand, you push the door open, but plan to go no further than the threshold. The lights are on, dimly, it doesn’t give you much vision, but you could see Hoseok standing over someone.
It’s you, well...it was you. You’re not sure if you could call that you anymore. Limbs twisted in unnatural angles, sharp ends of bone sticking out from your bruised skin.
You stumble backwards, slipping in the still wet trail of blood and falling against the door behind you. Tears blur your vision, you feel sick.
“You see?” a voice whispers, echoing and bouncing around in your head. “This is what will happen.”
There’s someone else here.
“He’ll kill you.” The voice snickers, crawling along your skin like poison ivy. “Run. Get out.”
You startle awake, gasping for air, searching your body for any sign of blood. The sun is almost setting, preparing to make its descent in the west and you dart out of bed. Your skin feels tight, like you’re too big for it and it makes you uncomfortable. Your breaths are harsh barely making it into your lungs before you’re forcing it out again.
You make for the door, yanking it open and running down the hall. You didn’t stop to think, you just want out. You push the entrance door and it opens and you stumble out into the hallway you haven’t seen in ages.
You run up to the elevator, the overhead floor indicator is blank. And the elevator doesn’t budge when you push the button frantically. Hands caught in your hair you spin around, there must be a way.
The green exit sign glows like a beacon of hope. You trip over your feet getting to it, almost face planting on the expensive rug that lines the hallway. The door opens with a click and your footsteps echo in the stairwell as you take them two at a time to get as far away from this place as possible.
You don’t stop until you’re three flights down, breath ragged and vision spotty. You lean against the wall to catch your breath, panting and wiping the sweat off your brow.
There’s a loud bang that echoes from somewhere below and you freeze. Taking careful steps you peek between the railings and see nothing.
It might be Hoseok.
Or, it could be someone else in the building and your only hope of getting out of here.
“Hello? Is someone ther—” There’s another loud bang, and you take a couple steps down the fourth flight and look over the railing again. A thick fog swirls just a floor below.
The hair on the back of your neck shoots up at the low growl that dances up the stairwell. You nearly go tumbling down it in your haste to turn around and go back up.
As you turn to go back up the third flight, the fog surrounds you and you stop as it becomes impossible to see. You grip tightly to the stair railing, tentatively stepping up – You’re trying not to breathe too loudly.
There’s something scraping against the ground on the stairs below and your heart kicks. You step faster, at the same time trying not to trip and break your neck. There’s a low snarl and you bolt, taking the stair two at a time back up the way you came.
The floor vibrates beneath you as whatever it is gives chase. You make it up to the first landing, pulling the exit door open with a grunt. You’re just about to step through when what feels like three hot butcher knives slices through your back. The force of it sends you pitching forward, smacking hard into the wall on the opposite side before you crumple against it.
You could barely feel it, you’re aware you’re hurt...you could feel the pulsing, open wounds at your back. Your mind is trying to process as you struggle to move, taking a breath aches as you push yourself upward and away from the wall just enough to turn. You don’t manage much more than that, sliding down the wall until your butt hits the pretty red carpet.
The metal door of the emergency exit swings open harshly, banging loudly against the wall before it leans forward; one of the hinges broken. The thing that stands in the doorway looks like it crawled out of some deep, dark part of hell. It’s standing on it’s hind legs before it drops forward, claws that look at least nine inches long scraping against the linoleum.
It looks like a giant dog, honestly. It’s hard to tell when all you could focus on was that you could feel your heartbeat at your back, and the slick warmth soaking into your ruined sweater and pants. Shock maybe...or adrenaline, was keeping most of the pain at bay, you’re pretty sure you’d be dead otherwise right now.
With a guttural growl, the creature emerges, its form contorted and twisted, as if it were forged from the very essence of nightmares.
Its body is a grotesque fusion of twisted flesh and sinew, its skin a sickly shade of mottled grey, stretched taut over bulging muscles that ripple with every movement. Sharp spikes protrude from its spine, glinting menacingly in the dim light, while its black eyes burn with a fiery intensity that seems to pierce through your very soul.
The creature's mouth curls into a snarl, revealing rows of razor-sharp teeth stained with blood. Its breath is a noxious cloud of decay and sulphur, filling the air with a suffocating stench that makes your stomach churn.
As it lurches forward on all fours, its movements are unnaturally fluid, each step sending tremors through the ground beneath you. It’s trying to squeeze its way through the small space of the doorway, too big to pass through, and you could do nothing but watch.
Your vision goes hazy as you simply stare at the creature.
The adrenaline is fading and you’re starting to feel your wounds, but maybe if you could crawl towards the door...
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At six pm on a Friday evening, Hoseok isn’t at all surprised to see the line of people waiting to get into the club. It’s still a long way to opening, but with the prestige of this place, again, he isn’t surprised.
He was with Yoongi when he bought the place, watched him build it from the ground up. Watched his taste for the interior bounce around erratically until he settled, as the clientele flickered from the common club goer to people – if they had enough money – buying their way in.
Haegeum is on the high-end of the city, the type of place where you’d wonder if folks had enough money to burn just because. Yoongi doesn’t discriminate and all are welcomed.
The queue is a mix of people: folks dressed to the nines just to step a foot in the place, those of which would most likely be sitting pretty in the VIP section. People just looking for a place to escape to for a while, teenagers holding tight to their fake Ids and clinging to their friends. They mingle in groups or alone, their chatter filling the air with a soft buzz of voices and hushed giggles.
Hoseok takes everything in with an air of nonchalance as he strolls by.
The bouncer at the heavy black door stands stoically, clipboard in hand for VIP clients. Hoseok breezes past him when he opens the door to let him in, stepping into the entrance foyer, illuminated by dim red lights. He walks down the hall, and down the dark metal staircase into the main floor of the club.
The above head white florescent lights do nothing to take away from the grandeur of the club, though, Hoseok likes it better when it’s late and the lights are off. The main floor is usually accented in lights of blue and red, casting shadows streaking along the sitting area. Embedded into the walls are velvet couches that flow with the design in a sort of snake like shape, a short-legged coffee table and single seated chairs dotted between every inward curve. There’s a wide enough walkway for two people walking side by side to pass, a partition of glass, and on the other side of it, black leather couches and even more glass coffee tables.
 The walls are interesting, and Hoseok thinks this because he doesn’t know why Yoongi likes it so much. In large arched alcoves sits head statues of Greek gods of mortal tales, staring lifelessly into the distance, bathed in dark blue light. Between every two are columns that resembles those of a temple, and smooth grey stone. Hoseok honestly doesn’t know which vibe Yoongi is going for, not that he’d say it to his face.
He walks down the little walkway, down another set of stairs and across the dance floor. The bar is tucked in a corner, glasses being wiped by one of Yoongi’s employees behind it. Hoseok offers the man a nod of his head, moving towards the staircase that curves with the wall and upwards.
Yoongi’s office veers just off the VIP lounge, set behind large mahogany doors. And Hoseok doesn’t bother knocking. The room looks pretty much the same as it’s always had: dark walls with darker patterns, a maroon carpet lining the floor, abstract paintings hanging on the walls that allude to a darker nature, and in the far corner on the wall between two paintings is a golden blade dagger behind a mounted glass case.
“...Pick your side, kid. It’s either you’re with me, or against me.” Yoongi’s voice is cold, not angry per se, but reeking in annoyance that chills rather than burns. “And trust me when I say that you don’t want me as your enemy. I don’t play nice.”
There’s a young man standing in front of Yoongi’s large desk, his hands behind his back where one hand squeezes the other in bouts of nervous jitter. There are bruises on his knuckles, and even from behind, Hoseok could tell that he’s trying to fit into a crowd that doesn’t suit him. Haegeum isn’t just a club but a base of operations so to speak, in the middle of this high-end city, its easy for Yoongi to wrack up a certain clientele. People who seek a different ease of mind and has a different lifestyle.
Hoseok leans against the door, watching the scene play out, as the young man bows slightly and Yoongi waves his hand at him.
“Keep shadowing Seonghwa and Hongjoong for the week, and I don’t want any trouble this time.” He says dismissively, and the boy turns to leave. As Hoseok catches his eye, something akin to a bolt of lightening shoots down his spine. It isn’t noticeable to the more ordinary folk, but Hoseok isn’t ordinary, and neither are Yoongi and the rest of his boys. 
The air crackles with static, raw, untrained power that itches Hoseok the wrong way. The boy stands there clearly a moment too long, and Yoongi’s knuckles raps against the table top. “Yeonjun.”
Yeonjun gives a soft apology, and quickly walks towards the door. Hoseok opens it for him, not out of kindness, but purely to give him a long unbroken stare. He smiles as the boy struggles to hold his gaze, even as the hair on the back of his neck stands on end at his proximity.
When he shuts the door behind him, Yoongi is already watching him with a raised brow. Hoseok wanders over to the leather armchair at the front of Yoongi’s desk and sits, shifting around until he’s comfortable in it. “I thought they were a myth.”
“Obviously they’re not.” Yoongi mutters, shaking his head as he sieves through a stack of papers scattered on his desk before he finds what he’s looking for. “Kid wanted in, so I let him. More trouble than it’s worth, honestly. But, the Nephilim are stronger than the order, so I gave it a shot.”
Hoseok hums, and Yoongi seems to catch himself, narrowing his eyes at him. The scar that runs through his right eye looks pink and irritated in the motion and the overhead lights. “What are you doing here?”
“What? I can’t visit?”
If Yoongi narrows his eyes any more, he’d close them, “I think you know better than anyone that you’re never here.” He says, “You’re absent more often than not, so I have the right to ask. Did you do something? I’m not cleaning up any more of your messes.”
Yoongi pushes back his chair, walking across the room to the mini bar he has tucked in the corner. He pulls a glass from the cabinet and pours himself a glass of whisky from a long necked crystalline bottle. He takes a sip and turns leaning against the bar’s edge. “Last time was enough trouble.”
“You’d clean it up anyways.” Hoseok says, leaning his head back against the chair, tilting his head to look at Yoongi. “I found something fun to do.”
Yoongi stares at him for a moment, quiet, contemplative, “Causing a different type of trouble, I see.” He chuckles, “Don’t break her.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Hoseok smirks, and then frowns a little. With all Yoongi’s prowess and danger, he’s gone a little soft around the edges, and he could see that softness in his eyes as he looks off into the distance. Surely thinking about the mortal girl that has him wrapped around her little fingers like bubble gum.
“You’ll learn.” Yoongi says cryptically, and it reminds Hoseok that he’s never really sure what Yoongi is thinking. Sometimes he’s an open book and Hoseok could read him like one, easy to figure out in the way that he moves, and sometimes he’s sealed tight.
Yoongi drains his glass of whisky, setting it down with a clink on the bar top before walking back over to his desk. “Since you’re here...” He opens a drawer and pulls out a thick black file, “Give this to Seonghwa.”
Hoseok takes the file and opens it, reading over the contents. There’s a man on Yoongi’s black list that’s due a checking in. “You let him and Joong have all the fun.”
“You’re too messy.” Yoongi retorts, “I said I’m not cleaning up after you.”
Hoseok shrugs, and gets up, skirting around the back of the chair and walking towards the door.
“Hobi.” Yoongi calls, “I don’t have to remind you that there’s a meeting at the end of the month, right?”
“I’ll be here.” Hoseok says, as the look in Yoongi’s eyes gave no room to say anything else.
He leaves the office, closing the door behind him with a quiet click and lets the tension roll off his shoulders. He goes back the way he came, black file in hand, towards the VIP section where he knows Seonghwa would be lurking. He walks down the little walkway, through the identical couches and tables on raised platforms that overlook the main floor of the club.
At the end, there’s a small section of booths, black velvet and low lit, and standing with his back to him is Hongjoong. He seems to be busy, twin pistols in pieces on the booth’s table, cleaning supplies set up neatly in a little row. Hoseok saunters over, and throws his arm over the man’s shoulders.
Hongjoong doesn’t spare him a glance but sighs softly through his nose. “I’m busy, Hoseok.”
“Where’s your shadow?” Hoseok asks, and waves the file at him, “Yoongi has work for you two.”
“When doesn’t Yoongi have work for us.” Hongjoong slides away from under Hoseok’s arm, sitting down in the booth to avoid him all together. There’s a dull glint of light as the fixtures catch on the gold diamond studded crucifix that swings against the white of Hongjoong’s tee-shirt.
Hoseok clicks his tongue against his teeth, “Don’t let him hear you say that.”
The dark bangs of his hair, which are usually styled away from his forehead, falls into his eyes when he glances upward at Hoseok. He picks up the cleaning solvent and pours a bit of it into the cap before dropping a cotton patch in to let it soak, then, he wraps the patch around the bristles of a small bore brush.
“Seonghwa isn’t here, he’s out back.” Hongjoong picks up the dismantled gun barrel, sliding the bore brush through until the now dirty cotton patch pokes out from the other end. The scent of the solvent burns Hoseok’s nose, and he leaves Hongjoong be, going back down to the main floor and through the emergency exit. The exit sits in the middle of an alleyway that connects two streets, and Hoseok catches sight of Seonghwa’s faux fur coat on one end.
Smoke curls away from his form with a light wind and brings the scent of a cigarette as Hoseok walks with quiet steps towards him. He’s laughing at something, phone in hand, and Hoseok drops his hand heavily on his shoulder and feels the way he immediately tenses.
“I’ve told you one too many times, Seonghwa.” Hoseok says, stepping to the side and around him, “Always be on your guard.”
There’s a glint in the way that he sneers, pulling away from Hoseok’s grip. He takes a couple steps back, watching Hoseok as though he spat at his feet.
“Aw, don’t look at me like that. Makes me all tingly.” Hoseok teases mockingly with a smile, and then offers the file to him. “Here.”
Seonghwa shoves his phone into the pocket of his coat, taking the file and looking through it. He takes one last drag of the cigarette between his fingers before tossing it. He raises a perfect brow at Hoseok and tilts his head, something like amusement in his eyes. “You don’t show up for weeks, and now you’re just Yoongi’s errand boy.”
Hoseok chuckles and it’s dark, low in his throat. “Seonghwa.” He takes a step closer, “Don’t forget your place.”
It’s irritating how Seonghwa doesn’t back down, the way he looks at Hoseok as though he’s beneath him. He stands tall and proud with his chest puffed out like a peacock, and Hoseok knows he’s about to say something stupid without using that brain of his first.
“Don’t act like we’re not in the same boat.” Seonghwa scoffs, and even before he opens his mouth, Hoseok could see the thought in his eyes, glowing like an ember in the dark. He sees the minute curl at the corner of his mouth and the glow of the street light that catches on the pretty studded silver of his teeth. “You got your ward killed, and killed the man that killed her. There’s no hierarchy among murderers.”
Hoseok takes a breath, and he feels the heat rising from the tips of his toes. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the images he’s locked away floods out of the steel box he’s put them in. The little girl he’d been guardian to, her short, miserable and painful life. Found end at the hands of someone she had the misfortune of being born to. It was too late – he was too late, when he’d found her. And just like then, Hoseok sees red.
Warm, gushing red that spill into the creases of his fingers when he swings his fist at Seonghwa’s face. The black file and the papers within scatter on the wind.
Hoseok doesn’t let the surprise and force send the younger man stumbling back too far, and grabs hold of the front of his coat, curling his fingers into the material tightly. He kicks at his knee, and when he’s forced to kneel, Hoseok leans down to his height.
“You talk a lot of shit for someone who lost his wings for something so trivial; your sin and mine are two different things.” Hoseok sneers, and he’s so mad he could set Seonghwa on fire and watch him dance. “But I can remind you exactly why Yoongi doesn’t bother to have me involved.”
Someone pulls Seonghwa back, dragging him up to his feet. “The fuck are you two doing?”
There’s a tick in Seonghwa’s jaw that doesn’t go unnoticed and his eyes stay locked with Hoseok as he straightens. He should think twice, Hoseok knows he knows better.
Hongjoong shoves at Seonghwa’s shoulder, “Go pick that shit up.”
Yeonjun stands at the open doorway of the emergency exit, watching with wide eyes, looking like he’s halfway to backing out on his choice to get into Yoongi’s ranks. Hongjoong eyes Hoseok warily, glancing over his shoulder to make sure that Seonghwa was doing as told.
Hoseok’s gaze burns a hole into the back of Seonghwa’s head as he moves around to pick up the scattered papers while Hongjoong stands like a watchdog.
Hoseok shoves his hands into the pockets of his black coat, tilting his head back to stare at the sky. “You boys be good, now.” He says in parting, turning on his heel and walking out of the alley.
“What the fuck did you say to him?...”
Hoseok walks up the street, through the throngs of people still waiting to get into Haegeum. His phone vibrates in his coat pocket, with a sigh he pulls it out and answers.
“Yes, Cheol?”
“Hey, remember when you asked me to tell you when I’ve seen that weird fog?” Seungcheol sounds distracted, there’s a sharp sound from his end that has Hoseok pulling the phone away from his ear with a wince. He says something to someone else, voice too far away for Hoseok to catch, before he speaks again. “Couple of nights ago, it was in my area. Whatever’s in it is pretty good at hiding. It’s not the only thing in it either.”
Hoseok crosses the street, going in the opposite direction of which he came from. The people that line the sidewalk give him a wide berth as he weaves through them; unconsciously reacting to him being near.
“Didn’t see much of the guy, some twinky-looking redhead.” Cheol sighs, “I think the fog is like a domain. If you get lost in it, it’s like there’s no-one in there but you. Like a mirror realm.”
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‘They who fight monsters should be careful, lest they become a monster themselves.  And if you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.’
What defines a monster? Something that goes beyond human comprehension, something that stands outside the bounds of what is morally accepted. Something that a person fails to understand and is therefore scared by. Something that make stories entertaining because they’re meant to be defeated in the end. They’re meant to be slain and mounted like trophies, pinned up for grotesque display of heroism.
What defines a creature that goes beyond human comprehension? White coloured morals and the freedom to help in the way it needed. He stopped being what he was created to be, and instead became something that someone needed the most. He did everything right. He had his head in the right place, he was determined to see it through to the end.
He was a little too late.
Over the years, Hoseok could no longer recall just how late he was. If it was by seconds or minutes, or an hour by a half. When he was finally strong enough to move, he traced the memory of a place he’d seen for years, all the way to a house where his charge waited inside.
She was always afraid. Alone, trapped with a monster of man’s making. A child he’s watched since the moment of her birth, watched her grow to be afraid and the light never reach her. By the laws of his nature he was forced to do nothing.
He was restricted to assisting in the only way he could. He couldn’t shield her physically, so he instead manipulated the monster in her closet. He made sure that his mind was changed, that he didn’t swing his claws as fiercely, that he slept deeply so that the child can have a night of rest.
He started to question, as he watched the monster that called himself a father, prey upon what he was meant to protect.
What’s the point? Is he not allowed to stop this? Why can’t he stop this? He could stop it because he has the power to do so.
The ideology was shared by another, and together, hubris.
Hoseok fell with pride; he fell with the intention to seek his ward out and help her. Even if he had no idea what was to come afterwards. Stripped of his grace and the feathers of his wings burned away, it didn’t matter to him.
He went as quickly as his wounds allowed, which in retrospect, wasn’t quickly enough. She was only six. An awfully short time to the likes of him, even shorter to mortals, not enough time to live and laugh – she wasn’t allowed to even do that. He’d stood there, in the broken doorway of a broken home and watched as the monster of his ward’s nightmare became a man before him. Hoseok’s vision had tunnelled and in the centre was the broken body of the child he’d sworn to protect.
When the shadows on the walls grew tall and Hoseok’s mind closed in on itself and allowed those shadows to encase him, the man cried. He pleaded on his knees at the sight of his reckoning, begged for mercy when he gave none.
Then, Hoseok shattered. Scattered like tiny specs of dust floating on the wind, and under the heat and pressure of his own realisations, he turned into glass. With his sharp edges he cut into the man and reveled in it. The sounds of his pleas like the gentle strum of a harp’s string, and the warmth of his blood was a bath Hoseok sunk into.
What he was, was something that was no longer needed, and with his hands covered in blood and gore and mess he held tight to his reasons for being and cried for her. He became something else that only protected himself. While he locked everything away and allowed the shadows to stay. The light he’s trapped struggles to glow, to breathe, and some days Hoseok wants to snuff it out for good, to become the shadows he plays in.
He wouldn’t allow himself to reach that point, though. He still has a sense of himself, however skewed.
He owes Yoongi a lot, his partner in crime that he would follow to the ends of the earth. He never turned his back on him even as Hoseok changed to suit his troubles.
Hoseok remembers Yoongi standing at the doorway, catching up much later than he had. He stayed there quietly while Hoseok mourned the death of his ward and his tears made tracks in the blood that coated him.
Hoseok buried her away from her cursed home, far away and as deep as the roots of an old oak runs and salt floats on the air. Wild flowers bloom there, giving her the beauty in death she wasn’t allowed in life.
His chest aches as he stands there now. Under the shade of the oak tree where little speckles of the setting orange sun spills through leaves and dances along the space that he occupies. There’s a crinkle of plastic and Hoseok stares at the small bouquet in his grip. He chose every flower that reminded him of her: daises and lavender, lilies and snapdragons.
He lays it gently on the patch of grass that’s long grown over between two large protruding roots, mutters the same apology he does every time he comes by, and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his coat as he straightens.
He’s sorry he wasn’t there in time.
He wished she was given a chance, and wondered if her death was his punishment. He wonders what it would’ve been like to watch her grow, safe and happy. What her favourite flower would’ve been, if she would’ve valued the little things. He would’ve given her everything – pulled the moon from the sky if she so desired it. He would’ve taken the stars and put them in her little hands for her to watch them shine.
He wonders if it would’ve been better had he waited a little longer. That maybe the slightest change would’ve brought about a different outcome.
Hoseok sighs, turns his head to watch the sun set, dragged behind the ocean’s edge far off in the distance. Something at the back of his mind wiggles and tugs. He knows something’s wrong and he’s in no mood to deal with it.
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You’re dying...you think. Your hand slides against the floor and it takes a moment to realise it’s your blood you’re slipping in. You can barely feel the rest of your body, adrenaline pumping your blood out of the wounds at your back. The doors of the elevator doubles and swarms in your vision.
You see them open but it’s so hard to focus. Hoseok steps out and walks slowly to you, you can’t see his expression, but you faintly hear the long, drawn-out sigh he releases. Your eyes focus on the darkness that surrounds him, the way it curls like smoke. The shadows at his back are clearer to you than they’ve ever been – wings. Dark plumage that glitters with something silver in the light, the feathers are long, long enough that they drag behind his steps. If he were to unfold them they would easily span to the ends of the hallway.
He hardly gives you a glance, stopping in front of you. You can’t see the creature now – blocked by Hoseok’s wings – but you hear it growl, and the scraping of it’s claws against the floor. Something glints in his hand against the flickering lights, a short sword that looks like it was dipped in gold from the hilt and it ran down the edges of the blade.
He’s a blur as he moves and your tired eyes can barely keep up with him, if it weren’t for the small space and shadows his wings casted you would’ve lost sight of him completely. 
The creature snarls and lashes out with its razor-sharp claws, but Hoseok is already one step ahead, dodging with effortless grace. He moves with a speed and agility that seems impossible in the space he occupies, closing in on the creature that growls and snarls at him. It’s forced to dislodge itself from the doorway, pulling back into the stairwell that gives it even less room to defend.
Hoseok’s wings fold tightly to his back as he follows, and you could only hear the sound of his weapon sliding through the air, the sound of the blade whistling and the increasingly irritated sounds from the creature. Hoseok ducks under a swiped claw, makes a spin on his knee, and switches the hands that holds his blade. It slices through the creature’s gigantic paw like it’s made of something soft, and through the other as it comes back down. The severed limb drops heavily on the ground before it dissolves into ashes and float upward.
The sound it makes grate on your ears, loud and sharp and you can’t bring your hands up to cover them, something warm trickles out of each.
Without it’s two front legs to support it’s weight, the creature drops forward, and Hoseok grabs hold of the first spike at the top of its head. With a flick of his wrist his weapon spins in his palm and he points the blade right between the creature’s eyes and pushes.
Golden light flashes, nearly blinding you on top of everything else, you can just barely hear the cry it makes this time as it writhes in agony. It’s monstrous form twists and contorts before finally collapsing to the ground in a heap.
Hoseok stands over the fallen beast, his weapon clenched tightly in his hand, watching intently as it’s body dissipates like ash from a fire.
With a satisfied nod, Hoseok sheaths his weapon and it vanishes, and then turns his attention back to you, his expression a mixture of something. You can’t tell, everything seems so dark and it’s hard to breathe. He approaches you slowly, his movements cautious as he assesses the extent of your injuries.
Hoseok crouches and you slowly look up at him, he tilts his head and clicks his tongue against his teeth.
“I told you not to go anywhere, little dove.” He says softly, calmly, as though he’s telling you about his day and you’re not bleeding out in his hallway. “You’re so troublesome.”
You try to respond, but the words stick in your throat, drowned out by the rush of blood and the overwhelming sense of impending darkness. Hoseok’s presence feels both comforting and ominous, his wings casting elongated shadows that dance across the walls. You try to focus on his face, to find some semblance of reassurance in his eyes, but all you see is a blur of shadows and flickering light.
“I’m sorry,” you manage to choke out, your voice barely audible above the sound of your own laboured breathing.
Hoseok’s expression softens slightly, a hint of concern flickering in his eyes. He reaches out a hand to gently brush the hair from your forehead, his touch surprisingly gentle despite the underlying tension in the air.
“Jesus...” Another voice says, the sound of footsteps hurrying close and the last thing you see is the shift of the hallway.
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The night he found you out in the fog wasn’t the first time Hoseok had seen you.
By now, it would’ve been at least three months ago. You were alone, pacing around like a worried mother on a bridge over your perceived peace – had you decided to take it.
Human lives were no longer any concern to him; no consequence. He and his kind were here before and would be long after your kind has crumbled to dust and returned to the earth. He stopped then, and watched you contemplate the height of the bridge and the chill of the water below it; whether or not you’ll receive the mercy you seek. You’d cried for a long time on that bridge.
Hoseok is many things, but cruel is not one of them. He changed your mind and sent you away into the arms of someone that would care.
Hoseok has many contradictions. The darkness that he allowed entry fights the light, beating it into a corner where it cowers on most days. On those days he’s distant and struggling to contain it, he could taste malice on his tongue and the bitterness of it. The steel walls he painstakingly built with bloody and broken fingers are nothing more than barbwire fences; they do nothing to protect the glass figurines that make him whole.
Sometimes the glass are shards, sharp and unforgiving and willing to cut anything that gets too close. Sometimes they’re splintered panes and Hoseok is cutting his fingers to keep them in place. He curls in on himself, draws himself away, pushes everything outside his barbwire fence and tries to reinforce the walls. The darkness that swirls outside it seeps in and he can’t keep it out so he lets it fester and churn and he becomes intangible.
You weren’t there, and then, at some point, you were.
Sometimes...
Sometimes he’s standing in a grass field full of wild daises and the sun is warm and there’s salt in the air. The light peeks through the leaves of an old oak tree, and there’s a little girl who’s placed her life in his hands, who skitters about in the  grass like something wild and free. She glows in her happiness, and nature stains her hands and the bottom of her white dress. She makes faces at him behind the trunk of the tree, smiles and hold his hands and tell him that it’s okay. It wasn’t his fault and he’s forgiven, he could let it go and be.
On those days, Hoseok feels like a still pool of water. The ones with lily pads and life, and everything’s alright. You’re always there then.
Hoseok knows of the fragility of humans. How easily they could shatter and break and suddenly be no more. He was something once, and then he became something else, and sometimes it’s hard to not be what he is. His darker nature prevails, and he doesn’t do much to stop it. Sure, sometimes he’s done things simply because he’s feeling particularly malicious and thinks that everyone should suffer – it’s almost always harmless.
He has a sense of himself, he knows when to stop, when things are taken too far and you can’t take much more of it. You eventually learnt to take it in stride and Hoseok was proud of that, though, a part of him thought it wasn’t nearly as fun anymore.
He would walk your dreams some nights when he was bored and had nothing better to entertain himself, his presence would sometimes bring his darkness and your dreams would not be as pleasant. He tried to walk through them less often.
When you were jumping at every little sound, the silence that Hoseok moves with and the way you’re less of yourself some days – he realised something. Not every nightmare was his doing, and the whispers in the walls of your dreams spoke of something else entirely.
The far, fuzzy edges of your vivid dreams where he’s reminded of things he’s tried very hard to lock away, lurks something red and more sinister than he.
He’s every reason to believe that hellspawn didn’t find it’s way here on accident, and for it to go undetected until the very last moment. It bothers him like nothing else has.
Though you lay peaceful now and Seungcheol had left after doing what he does best, the unease lingers in bouts under Hoseok’s skin, skittering about like electricity on a wire. His feelings where you’re concerned contradicts each other. Like oil on water he’s stuck in between wanting you close and keeping you at arm’s length. He likes when you’re near, but he likes when you’re far. A consequence of his nature, he toes the line of something sinister and could get dangerous and down right evil if he doesn’t reign himself in.
At a point he wasn’t quite sure what to do with you. He was just as confused on why he stopped you from ending your own life that night on the bridge and why he took you in that night in the fog. At first, he was just as wary of you as you were of him, despite the way he acted. He can’t help what he is.
On the days where he feels like splintered glass and he’s choking on his despair, you’d waited. You were there until the smoke cleared and your quiet presence helped put the glass back up and straighten out the posts in his fence.
He told Yoongi, there’s no fun in not breaking you. Yoongi said that he’d learn.
He can’t help what he is.
He could try, though.
He doesn’t want to break you, it’s a matter of cause and effect. You’re here with him, evidently, you’d be broken regardless. The most he could do is try. He could try to not be the straw, and try to not let outside forces become it.
He cares. He cares so much that sometimes he could taste it on his tongue. He cares that you smile when he’s earned it, that you eat well, that you greet him like a friend and then somewhere along get shy when you do. He cares if you live or die.
Hoseok squeezes his eyes shut, opening them to blink away the image of you, helplessly laying in a pool of your own blood.
Fear. He’s has only felt it once, the fear that you would die and he would’ve failed again to protect someone.
He sips slowly at his glass of whisky, drinking in the sight of you. He thought you were smart enough to listen to him at least, trusted that you would stay out until he got back. Perhaps it was his mistake, but he wonders, and he ponders as you give a minute twitch in your sleep. Your eyebrows draw together and you murmur something unintelligible.
Hoseok sets his tumbler on your bedside drawer and pulls his chair closer. This is something he could easily do from another room, though, for what he’s about to do he would need to be touching you in some capacity.
Your dream had started off vividly, as most of your dreams have since you came here. Hoseok stands just in the corner of it, watching you wake within your dream and put your feet down into water.
He walks along the edge of it, watching it play out like a simulation, following behind you as you make your way down the hall towards the living room. He’s there and Hoseok isn’t surprised – it’s not the first time you’ve dreamt him.
He watches as your dreamscape version of him pull you into his lap and he feels a little offended and rolls his eyes – he didn’t even try to make it look sexy. Is this what you think of him? He isn’t half as tactless. Seduction takes finesse, and you clearly have no idea what that is.
Hoseok turns, gazing at the darkened edges of your dream.
There’s a shift and he feels it. It’s heavy like a wet blanket and seeps in like mist, and your dream changes accordingly.
He knows this feeling too well – the intrusion of an external force manipulating the dream, it’s faint enough that he knows it wasn’t in his apartment or anywhere nearby, but strong enough to reach so far.
Hoseok hovers hesitantly between the doorway of the living room and the hallway, and closes his eyes against the image of him hurting you.
He follows you as you follow blood, and he wishes you weren’t so frightened. He stays close to you, stepping where you’ve stepped as though he could protect you from something that’s already occurred. You push the door to your bedroom open and he wants to stop you, turn you around and shake you awake, but he can only watch.
You’re there and he is too, whispers skittering along the walls like mice, and Hoseok yanks himself out of your subconscious mind.
He feels like glass.
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When you wake it’s dark and your back is sore like you fell from a high place and splatted against a body of water. The moment feels like déjà vu regardless as you swing your legs over the side of the bed with a wince.
The broken projector of your sleep-addled mind flickers in black and white cut scene imagines of the evening. Hoseok, the fog, the dog that crawled out of hell specifically for you – as you can only assume – things considered, you’re pretty certain you died at some point.
The dark unnerves you, it makes you feel like a kid as you pull your feet back up onto the bed, and pull the blanket up over your head and pulled tight between your fingers at your chest.
You scoot back, wiggling a bit until your back is pressed flush against the headboard. There’s no light seeping in from under your door, and you sink lower, curling into yourself and hold the blanket tighter.
There’s a prickling at the back of your neck that sends a shiver racing down your spine. Your head turns slowly to the left and notice the unnatural darkness of the space between the edge of the wall and the window pane. Relief blooms in your chest at the sight of it.
“...Hoseok.” You call softly, waving a hand into the dark. You wait for a moment, but the lights don’t come on and he doesn’t appear as he usually would.
Carefully, you unwrap the covers from around you and place your foot on the ground. Taking a moment, you count your fingers – it’s always hard to count them in your dreams. All ten are there, and you take a breath before standing.
The floor is cold, and you notice the carpet that’s usually under your feet is missing, and the silhouettes of the things you’ve made yours are different; this isn’t your room.
You approach the ball of chaos carefully, and stand five steps away from the space it occupies. This is the second time you’ve been close to it, the first time had been much closer and you hadn’t understood it then. You reach a hand out, and gently: “Hoseok...”
It slows, the shadows and wisps shifting gently like a leaf on a soft wind. It elongates into a vague outline and then, Hoseok stares through you before he sees you. He’s still wearing the clothes he left in earlier, coat and all, looking a little more than rattled even in the dark.
He raises a hand and it hovers by your cheek, thumb ghosting the skin like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. The lights didn’t come back on and it’s hard to decipher his emotions in the dark.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft, barely a whisper in the darkness. Somewhere behind you, a lamp flickers on dimly and Hoseok looks like he’d shatter if you touched him.
“I’m okay.”
Hoseok’s hand drops slowly from your face as he blinks, as though waking from a dream. His gaze focuses on you, but there’s a vacancy in his eyes. For a moment, he seems almost confused, as if he’s not sure how he ended up here or what to make of your presence.
His touch is light, gentle, like he’s handling something fragile when his fingers brushes yours. You feel his fear, a palpable thing, thick and heavy. It’s a side of him you’ve never seen before, and you’re not sure what to do with it.
He exhales softly through his nose, nods once and then his eyes are somewhere above your head. “Are you in pain?”
“No,” Your back sings a low hymn, achy and sore, but it’s nothing to fuss over. “I’m okay.”
There’s a lot of things you want to ask, but you can’t seem to pick one. You want to ask him about the fog and the creature, about his wings or how you’re even alive to mull over said questions.
Instead, you ask: “Are you okay?”
Hoseok looks unprepared for that, his eyes snapping back to yours and he flounders. His mouth opens and closes before he stares at you in that unnerving way he had your first couple of days here, like he’s trying to understand you. Like he could strip you down to atoms and see what makes you act the way you do and therefore comprehend the bases of your human nature.
“I’m...” He blinks, looks away, and a muscle beneath his right eye twitches, “I’m okay.”
He doesn’t sound convinced and you aren’t either, and where his hand brushes yours you reach out first. His fingers are cold and he looks down, staring at your hand like it’s something foreign, but his grip tightens. It’s quiet for a moment, he takes a breath that doesn’t seem to ease the weight he carries.
“You almost died.” He says quietly, brows furrowed as though he can’t understand his own concern. “When I brought you here...I did so with the intention to keep you safe.”
It’s quiet again and you wait, and wait.
Hoseok’s eyes mist, his breath shudders on the exhale. “I wasn’t here in time. Again. I—”
His hand in yours tremble, he’s looking through you again, not entirely here and he looks like a man haunted by ghosts he alone could see. You stumble a step back when he falls to his knees before you, but didn’t get far as his arms wound tight around your waist. There’s something strange about a creature such as him with all his prowess and tainted grace kneeling at your feet, and his words tumble from his mouth like his tears that soak into your borrowed shirt and he lets you hold the chain that drags behind him.
The weight is heavy, heavy enough that it grounds you and you listen to it rattle as Hoseok tells you everything. In a broken tone about a broken home and a child he couldn’t reach in time to save, about the shadows that he let hide the light and now he struggles to find it. The things he’s done since that would make the most wicked men cower.
You make the connection, as he lays himself bare before you. He peeled back the layers of his being himself and let you look inside; the bases of his nature, the connotations of his own sins. It makes sense to you now. The way he would change like the tide and his near obsessive, compulsive need to wrap you in bubble wrap and put you in a glass case. He’d long stopped scaring you and somehow became a comfort despite himself.
Maybe it’s circumstantial, or something else entirely, but you’ve grown to care for him and he’s been caring for you from the start. However skewed that was.
When he’s stopped his babbling, and he’s no longer crying, he still holds you tight, whispering apologies against the dampness of your shirt. You meet his height, gently pulling his arms away from you and you kneel, too. He blinks away the last of his tears and you catch them with your thumbs just under his red-rimmed eyes.
He’s no longer looking through you, one of his hands covers yours, his lips brushing delicately against your wrist when he turns his head; your heart flutters. He whispers something you didn’t catch, he closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them, he repeats: “You can leave if you want.”
“I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“Will you stay, then?” He looks away when he asks, pressing his fingers against your palm in a way that tickles and distracts, and studies the lines of them quietly. “Stay here with me.”
There’s something like hope in his eyes that glints against the shadows that linger, shining like flecks gold in cracked rock. You nod slowly and he smiles easily, all teeth and heart shaped and his hand is warm when he cups your cheek with the one that isn’t holding yours.
“Your dream...” He says softly, and later you’d find that it troubled him the most; he would never do something like that – not to you. “I’m sorry.”
You store the fact that he knows about it at the back of your mind for later – later when he’s not pressing the pad of his thumb against the fullness of your bottom lip, tracing the shape of it. You’ve learnt to ebb and flow with him, a boat on his tide, taking the shift of his mood in stride.
There’s something in his eyes now that has nothing to do with how you found him earlier, something that makes you follow his lead, leaning in when he pulls you towards him. Deja vu accompanies the way he shifts, easing back and turning you as he does, leaning against a dresser you hadn’t noticed. He keeps his eyes locked with yours, directing your leg over his with a hand, and he settles you on his lap.
“This feels familiar.” He giggles, lifting his head to nose along your jaw and you’re reminded that he knows. Heat flares at the back of your neck and races up your ears, and when you push against his shoulders, he steadies and keeps you still with his hands on the top of your thighs and a click of his tongue against his teeth.
“I’m teasing.” He gives a crooked smile, tilting his head, “It’s cute that you think it’ll play out that way.”
“Isn’t it, though?” You blurt out, embarrassment forgotten. Honestly, the only thing that’s changed is the room, and when Hoseok pauses you smirk.
He smirks right back, something dangerous, and he chuckles, “Keep talking back. I like that.”
His hand slides up your back, and you don’t suppress the shiver that follows after it. The air grows heavy, charged with unspoken tension. You’re vaguely aware of your heart pounding, the rhythm matching the erratic thrum of your blood. He leaves a kiss where your jaw meets your neck, sucking lightly on the spot.
“Hoseok...” You start to say his name, but it comes out as a breathless whisper. You’re not sure what you intended to say, but the words get caught in your throat.
He pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours. “What is it?” he asks, his voice rough with desire and darker still. “Do you want me to stop?”
You shake your head, unable to form words.
With a low growl, he takes your silence as an invitation, his fingers tangle in your hair, and he tilts your head down, his lips meeting yours in a kiss you gasp into. It quickly deepens, becoming more urgent, as if he’s trying to devour your very soul. His other hand finds your hip, squeezing possessively.
You’re lost in the sensation, the taste of him, the feel of his body pressed against yours. The world has narrowed to the two of you, to this moment.
A soft moan escapes your lips, and he takes that as a cue, his tongue exploring your mouth with a hunger that sets your entire being ablaze.
His touch ignites a fire within you, consuming your senses and leaving you breathless, his hand sliding from your hip to your lower back, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you.
He pulls away slowly and you chase, he smirks against your kiss, and when he lifts his hips you feel the press of his arousal. His kisses trail, ghosting along your jaw, his tongue warm where your pulse thrums. He directs the shifts of your hips, grinding you down against clothed erection with a curse growled against your skin.
You follow the light tug of his hand in your hair, tilting your head back and to the side to give him more room to work. He hums appreciatively around your skin between his teeth and you hiss softly at the sting of the pull.
“So good for me.” He whispers when he pulls away. His fingers tap at your hip before he wraps his arm around, bracing the other against the dresser behind and stands easily.
A startled squeak leaves you, wrapping your arms around his neck even though he’s holding you steady. He reaches the bed in two strides, and drops you there, a smirk at the corner of his mouth.
You bounce a bit amongst the soft sheets with a soft giggle before you settle. His index finger curls beneath your chin and tilts, thumb brushing along your bottom lip again, “Ah.”
You comply easily, and then his thumb is pressing against your tongue. Saliva pools in your mouth and he hums when you wrap your lips around the digit. There’s a tick of his brow and the dull glint of his teeth when he smiles in the dim light of the singular lamp, and a darkness in his eyes that doesn’t scare you.
He tests the boundaries of what you’d allow, sliding his thumb along your tongue. His palm lays flat against your cheek, thumb reaching far until you feel the lurch of your stomach and pull back with a gasp.
He coos softly, leaning down just as he slips his finger out of your mouth to capture your lips in a kiss that’s more teeth and tongue than anything else. He nudges you back softly, large hands sneaking their way under your tee to reach your skin, desperate in a way that makes you think he’d die if he doesn’t.
He stops just shy of the undersides of your breasts, pulling away from the kiss to rest his forehead against yours. His breaths are shallow, he whispers your name, “I can get intense.”
“I know.”
“I could hurt you.”
“I know.”
He studies you for a moment, then, tugs gently on the hem of your tee-shirt, “Up.”
As you shift to sit, you’re not surprised to find you aren’t wearing anything underneath the tee-shirt and cotton shorts he’s put you in; dressing you properly must’ve been the last thing on his mind.
Hoseok stands back to shed his coat, dropping it carelessly on the floor. There’s a metallic clink as the buckle of his belt jingles, and the sound of it racing through the loops of his pants.
You – oddly – don’t feel ashamed under his gaze that sets a heat wherever it settles as he roams over your exposed upper half. Putting your weight on your hands, you lean back, watching Hoseok roll the long sleeves of his tee-shirt up his forearms.
His tongue darts out to moisten his lips as he closes the distance again, climbing into the bed on his knees and coming up until they’re on either side of your thighs. Silently he trails a finger down the slope of your neck, it tickles across your collarbone and his fingers spread and palms your left breast.
Your breath hitches and he chuckles, and you know very well he could feel the shifting of your thighs as you rub them together seeking friction. It’s been ages since anyone’s touched you like this, all of Hoseok’s teasing isn’t doing you much good.
His lips meet yours, licking into your mouth, and he groans when you suck on his tongue. His fingers lightly pinch at your nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. His other hand roams, goosebumps following it’s path down your side and stops where his fingers tease the band of your shorts.
Your hips buck as you whine and Hoseok pulls away, eyelids heavy, pupils all but gone, panting softly; looking drunk on you.
He smiles and makes a disapproving sound at the back of his throat. “Patience little dove.” He tuts, tilting his head at you, “I’ll give you what you need.”
He trails his fingers along the edges of your shorts before pulling them down and off, leaving you exposed to his touch. His hair tickles where it drags against your sensitive skin as he moves downward. He avoids where you need him most entirely and you squirm, a soft whine building in your chest.
He kisses and licks his way up your thighs, teasing you until you’re begging. Gently, he spreads your legs, kissing the inner thigh of your right before he rests it over his shoulder, pushing your other up and holding it there with a palm.
His dark gaze meets yours and you can’t hold it when he licks a hot stripe from your weeping entrance to your clit. Your hand shoots down to grip his hair, back arching when his responding growl vibrates against your core.
With each stroke of his tongue, Hoseok explores every inch of your most sensitive areas. He laps at your clit, drawing out a series of gasps and moans that fill the room. You’re shaking and swearing as he eats you out like a man starved, his tongue swirling around your clit in figure eights and then dipping into you. He moans like you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted.
Your hands curl into the sheets, fingers digging in as if to anchor yourself. You’re lost in the sensations, a whirlwind of pleasure that leaves you breathless. And you wonder, briefly, if this was just something he was good at or something he had to hone.
His arm draping over your hips was the only warning you got before his lips wraps around your clit and sucks. Your back arches with a pitched moan and he slips a finger into your heat, and groans when you clench and gasp his name.
Your heart pounds in your chest, each beat a reminder of your vulnerability. Yet, paradoxically, it’s this vulnerability that fuels your desire, pushing you to new heights. You’re a wild thing now, driven by pure, primal need.
From between your legs, Hoseok watches your reactions, a dark-haired god feasting on your pleasure. His gaze is intense, a silent promise that he’ll take you to the edge. He adds another finger and they curl against your g-spot and it brings about your undoing.
If your arousal was a fire, Hoseok just threw gasoline on it just to watch it explode. He keeps hips lips around your clit as it throbs, fingers dragging along your fluttering walls and your eyes squeeze shut. You could barely breathe, lights dancing behind your eyelids as you gasp his name.
“Good girl.” Hoseok praises, lips brushing your clit and your thighs tremble. He rubs his hand gently over your stomach while you come down, and evilly, bites your thigh with a dark chuckle.
“Hoseok...” you whine as he laves his tongue over the stinging spot.
“Hm?” He smiles, “Want more, little dove?”
You almost cry as he changes course, pulling away entirely, and makes it clear he revel in your suffering when he coos mockingly, standing now.
He slowly unbuttons his pants, slowly pulls his legs out of them one after the other, smirking at you all the while. Even in the dim lighting, you could see the strain his cock against his black boxer briefs and you don’t miss the near inaudible sigh of relief from Hoseok at the change in pressure.
He crooks a finger at you, and shuffles closer as you do. He stands at the edge of the bed, and he sinks his fingers into your hair, brushing it back as you look up at him. He looks down his nose at  you, and raises a brow, “Be a good girl now, dove. Or do I have to teach you?”
“I know how to suck cock you ass.”
Hoseok shrugs, a playful smile shifting his expression as he gently squeezes your cheeks, puckering your lips, “Is all that little mouth good for talking back to me?”
“You said you like that.” You say defiantly.
Hoseok hums, “Have your fun then,” He says, smiling, “Won’t be able to say much in a bit, anyway.” He tugs on your hair, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to signal his impatience.
Funny, he was preaching patience is a virtue a while ago.
You scoff softly, holding your weight with a hand and tugging his boxers down with the other. His cock springs out, long and thick enough that you wonder if it would fit anywhere. It’s flushed red at the tip and leaking pre that beads and dribbles down the underside, and maybe if you focus enough you could just about see the throb of the vein that runs along side. A breath hisses through Hoseok’s teeth when you wrap your fingers around him, his eyes shut and his head tilts back.
Your eyes meet his when you slowly drag your hand down the length of his shaft, teasing him like he did you; turnabout is fair play. His hold in your hair tightens just a bit, eyes narrowing.
“Dangerous game you’re trying to start.” He murmurs, “I don’t take well t – fuck.” He hisses, the word tapering off into a low groan as you wrap your lips around the head of his cock.
The slightly salty taste of him bursts against your tongue and you hum, twisting your wrist as you bring your hand back up to meet your mouth and follow it down again. The saliva that escapes from the corners of your mouth helps with the glide.
You take a breath through your nose and relax your jaw, taking him in until he hits the back of your throat and you gag. Hoseok’s thighs tense and a stuttered breath leaves him.
“Easy there.” He soothingly runs his fingers through your hair, though it does nothing for the involuntary tears springing at your waterline. You decide to play it safe, not taking more than you can handle. Hoseok doesn’t seem to mind, letting you set your own pace, whispering swears and your praises.
Heat pools in your gut as your head bobs back and forth, your tongue flat against the underside of his cock, swirling around the head every time you pull back.
Slick with spit, your hand strokes the rest of him, and his groans vibrate in your ears. His fingers tighten in your hair, and it’s the only time he directs; holding you still.
“Take a deep breath for me, dove.” You do as told, and as you inhale, Hoseok slowly pushes forward, his cock reaching the back of your throat in no time at all. He groans above you, cock throbbing against your tongue, “There you go.”
He holds you there for a moment, only easing you back when your throat tightens with the need for air. He lets you breathe for a bit before he’s going again, thrusting slowly, once, twice and then holding you still. He keeps you there, cock throbbing at the back of your throat, your nose pressed against the neatly trimmed hair at the base.
When you gag he pulls you back, barely letting you breathe before he’s leaning down to kiss you, catching the string of drool that hangs from your bottom lip with his tongue. He lets you catch your breath, stepping back to pull his tee-shirt over his head and your mouth goes dry at the full expanse of his lithe frame.
Sitting back on your heels, breath a little ragged, you admire the sculpted lines of his body. Every movement is fluid and graceful, his muscles shifting smoothly beneath his skin.
His chest is defined, the faintest sheen of sweat highlighting each ripple of muscle. You can see the strength in his arms and shoulders, the way they flex as he moves. There’s a raw, primal energy about him, but it’s tempered by a quiet confidence.
Hoseok comes back to you quickly, cupping your cheek and kissing you fervently, moving with you as you shift back, cock smearing pre-cum along your inner thighs as he slots his narrow hips between them. He nibbles at your bottom lip, fingers sliding through your slick folds before the head of his cock nudges against your entrance.
For a quiet moment he stares then, kisses you tenderly as he breeches. It’s an easy glide, but it stings none the less, and you give an appreciative squeeze to his wrist when he goes slow. The stretch is bearable and soon the slight discomfort dissipates when he bottoms out and gives you a moment.
“Good?” he breathes out, hips pressed flush against yours. The same breath sucked back through his teeth when your walls tightens around him, his cock throbs in response and you keen. He grinds his hips down, pelvis pressing against your swollen clit and the sensation is almost too much and not nearly enough.
He’s close enough that you can run your tongue along his collarbone  and feel him shiver. Leave your own marks there with your teeth and revel in the growl that rumbles in his chest.
He hooks an arm at the back of your knee, pressing it against your chest as he raises and balances his weight. You’re spread open for him, his cock sinks deeper, rubbing against a spot that makes your eyes roll back. He gives shallow thrusts at first, pressing kisses and bruises wherever he could reach.
“Fuck.” Hoseok hisses between his teeth, hips still, palm against your cheek, and he watches you with something other than lust in his eyes. Something gentle as he caresses your cheek with his thumb. “Look at you, such a good girl. Taking everything I give you.”
His hips snap forward and you cry out, hands gripping the sheets between them at his sinful groan. He keeps a relentless pace, and you could feel him everywhere. His fingers on your skin, leaving you cold and hot at the same time, gripping your hips so tightly you fear they’ll bruise. It would simply add to the ones he’s already placed, scattered on your neck and chest like mismatched constellations in a dark sky.
He brings your hands up above your head, holding them there, together with his free one.
“You’re so good to me, Dove. And all mine, hm? Say it.” He grunts, “Say you belong to me, promise me that you’ll stay here with me.” He says this softly, tenderly, grinding his hips against yours in slow movements, tightening the coil in your stomach.
“I’m yours, I’m yours. I promise.” You babble, hips moving against his on their own accord. “I’ll stay. I promise. Please.”
Hoseok groans at your words, leaning down to capture your lips with his, tongue finding yours with ease. “That’s right. You’re mine. Fuck. All mine. Say it again.”
“I’m yours, Hoseok.”
He curses under his breath, straightening his form and brings his hands down to grip your hips tight, and sets a brutal pace. Head tilting back to reveal the marks you left on him, groaning before he looks back down at you, “Close? Hm? You’re squeezing so tight.” His words taunt, as did the smirk on his pretty pink lips, “Make a mess for me, Dove. Cum all over my cock. That’s it, good girl.”
White lights dance behind your tightly shut eyelids, a ringing in your ears. And Hoseok was fucking you through it, fast and hard, his praises a rumble in his chest. You lay there boneless, taking what he gave with a haze over your mind, a weak moan leaving your parted lips when his hand met your throat. Your heart spikes for another reason entirely, but he doesn’t squeeze. Fingers just there, barely any pressure, as he chased his own end, cock kissing your cervix with each trust, his other hand pressed against your lower stomach.
His thumb finds your clit and you jolt, catching his sinister smirk that curled his lips. “There’s no going back after this, baby. Fuck – you’re mine, understand?” You can feel him throbbing, feel the way his hips stutter on the draw back, he was close and you wanted nothing more than him marking you, claiming you in this way. When your eyes meet his, a shiver goes through you.
He comes undone with a low groan, hips flushed with your own, still thrusting through it, and you can see them with your own eyes, as he shudders and stills. His wings uncurl, dark feathers, darker than anything you’ve ever seen, dipped in silver, spreads out behind him and flutters. He leans down, pressing a kiss to your collarbone, gentle, barely there and you feel the warmth of his breath against your skin.
Your eyelids were heavy, and sleepily, you reach out to brush your fingers through the feathers that encased your forms. Hoseok stiffens before your fingers reach them, and chuckles, nipping softly at the flesh of your neck, “Go ahead, Dove.”
He relaxes, when your fingers touch, and you feel him shudder, groaning softly against your neck. They’re soft, your fingers disappearing in the inky blackness of them. With a final brush of his lips against your neck, Hoseok pulls back, his wings shimmering away like a mirage and your hand passes through air before lands limply at your side.
He squeezes your hip gently, mindful, and then he’s gone, walking out his room and into the hallway. The light that spills in helps you see a lot better than the dim lamp, and you notice that Hoseok’s bedroom looks much like the rest of his apartment; sleek and dark. There isn’t much to it either, the basics, more utilirian than a comfort space. You wonder if he uses it at all.
Hoseok comes back and gathers your boneless self into his arms. You rest your cheek against his collarbone, the sound of running water reaching your ears when he steps out into the hallway.
The tub is filling, steam rising from the bubbles that form at the top of the disturbed water. It smells like mint and some sort of fruit, and the temperature is just right when he steps into it and lowers you down. He positions you so that your back is against his chest and turns off the water when it’s high enough. You sense that he’s in his head again, not quite here even as he presses a soft kiss to the back of your neck.
“Feeling okay?” he asks suddenly, tracing a mindless pattern along your arm.
You hum softly, “Yeah. Sore, though.”
“I expected that.” Another kiss, apologetic, against your shoulder. “Also...” Hoseok pauses, “I finished inside you. I didn’t ask. I’m sorry.”
The realisation dawns on you too and you shift a little to look at him, “I don’t mind, but....is that a bad thing?”
There’s a strange half smile on his lips and he lifts a hand to tug softly on one tangled end of your hair, gently sifting his fingers through until he’s satisfied. “It can be, if it takes. But, I’ll get something for it tomorrow.”
You notice that the marks you left along his skin have begun to fade already, and you poke at them with a finger. He heals quickly, you figured. He chuckles softly, taking your hand to press kisses along your finger tips and then to your palm. Your finger brushes over the mole on his upper lip gently and watch him melt.
He studies you for a moment, the same way he did before he left earlier, though, it’s softer now. “Would you like to come with me?”
You brighten, perking up with a nod, “Is that okay?”
Hoseok hums, mischief in his eyes, “If you promise not to run off as soon as you step foot outside.”
You roll your eyes and turn around, and Hoseok pulls you back to him with an arm around your middle. “I have nowhere to go.”
“I know, I was only teasing.” He chuckles.
You’re both quiet for a while, and you simply relax, almost falling asleep against him as the warm water soothes your aching muscles. You aren’t aware that you did, and only wake when Hoseok was just done tucking fresh clean sheets up to your chin. You’re back in his room but you don’t mind, the thought of going back to your own unsettles you right now. You haven’t forgotten your nightmare, and it’s something you’d definitely have to unpack another day.
You wait until he’s crawled in behind you, the warmth of him encasing you gently. His form melds against your back like he belongs there, an arm slipping under your head and the other over your hip. “Hoseok?”
“Yes Dove?”
You worry at your bottom lip, fingers finding his under the covers and they squeeze your own encouragingly. “There’s a friend of mine...I was with her before I met you.”
“I can help her.” He murmurs, and he sounds...sleepy. Today was a lot for him as well, you suppose. “I can get her a job here.”
You shift, turning to face him, he tucks you to him when you settle, chin resting on top of your head. “How are you gonna do that?”
You hear the smirk when he answers, “Do you think everything I have magically appeared? I own the hotel.”
“Wha—”
“Shh.” Hoseok squeezes your hip, “Go to sleep.”
Sometime later you’ll realise that Hoseok needed you more than he would admit. When you learn his tells he would help put himself back together with you instead of trying to do it alone.
Sometime later he’d take you to see her. When the wind is cold and the old oak tree reaches it’s bare, spindly arms to the frosted sky. When the day marks yet another year and he lets you put the flowers between the roots. He looks like a shadow against the glittering white, and he tells you he’s okay.
He’d take you to meet his friends at a club on the high-end and you’d would realise that he’s soft only with you and the guy who reminds you of a cat. With the others he’s closed off and friendly in a way that seems a little odd.
You’d see Abigail often and would skirt around how you actually met Hoseok when she’d ask. Anyone would think you’re crazy if you told them.
You spend most of your time at home while Hoseok goes off doing god knows what when he’s not there. It’s something to do with his friends and you never ask.
Then he’s there and everything beyond him and you and the space you both occupy doesn’t matter. And it’s kind of easy to forget where it all started – it’d been so long since you’d wondered where you were going to get anything to help you get by.
He’s made of cracks and splintered glass but he let you sink into the spaces, filled the pieces with you and settled. There would always be cracks in the glass that he’s made of, and there would always be a post in his fence that he needs to hammered in to fix. Despite the unconventional way you’d both started, the abnormality of his existence, you’d be there.
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[bold, can't tag]
Tagging: @iammeandmeisiam , @imanhaitani @allhobbitstoisengard @dontstoptime @astormunchar @eoieopda @blog-name-idk @madbutgloriouspond @bangtansmauyeondan @taestefully-in-luv @mssukeyna​ @euphoricfilter @luaspersona
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hanasnx · 3 months
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diff anon but what fandoms did you meet your close moots through? i don’t know if that counts as indy lore
that counts! more under the cut. i wanted to talk about all my mutuals
@its-clockwork-princess one of my best, oldest, and dearest friends. years and years of friendship, roleplay, fanfiction, writing. every time i see a duo on screen or in any media my first thought is always her and my second thought is always “us.” we went through a thousand different fandoms and i can’t remember our first but we definitely bonded heavily over fandoms like marvel, dc, and fnaf at the very early stages of our friendship. her dad was actually dating my mom for a long time, which gave us plenty of time together. literally cant even summarize everything we’ve gone through together, everything we’ve built, seriously been friends for a decade and i plan on staying that way for the rest of my life. i cant imagine my life without her, how bleak and colorless it would’ve been. i’m honored to know such a generous and kind person, and someone who helped shape me into who i am today. a love truly unconditional.
@ohgodmyeyes loved his takes on anakin, thought he was so real and so down to earth even though he could stand to be more egotistical considering how talented he is. i think about a certain post he made about anakin -> vader's dick literally once a day. i'm not even exaggerating at all when i say it was my roman empire. in just that small amount of time i was taught his quiet confidence, his exquisite way with words, and his unapologetic thought process. i maintain a distance from him because i'm playing the long game and from what i've seen on his personal posts i feel like he might be overwhelmed if i come on too strong, as i often do. but that doesn't stop me from grinning every time i see him in my notifs and i get to think, "this message was approved by ohgodmyeyes." very proudly.
@somuchfrstardust we talked in the comment section of anakin edits on tiktok i feel like and then i was like "hey wanna be friends" and we haven't talked in a while but that's totally cool, that's just how i am. i still consider them my friend i think they're a rly cool person.
@banakinbabygirl was one of the first anakin/hayden blogs i followed, i love how they write smut. it's a very emotional way of writing, very heavy on the descriptions and realistic reactions that drew me in and kept me there.
@starmanskywalker is one of my favorite writers in general. anything on her masterlist is an instant recommendation from me, instant like, instant reblog, instant indy review. i'm such a jealous person in general but the way i feel about alanis' writing is beyond jealousy. it's admiration, it's fondness, it's awe. i don’t feel envious i feel fulfilled. i was very proud to become her mutual, her friend, be on a first name basis with her, and write fanfiction with her. we have a collab we've been working on for a while but because we're both so busy and it's such a big project it takes a lot of time and a lot of love, but i'm still so excited for the day it's finished and can be published.
@xstarkillerx is so much more than a person i met on the internet. truly one of my best friends, and i can’t imagine not having him in my life. there’s so much i can say that i have actually already said on this blog before. donnie has a way with seeing the world i just love to hear about. i’ll ask his opinions and experiences on everything simply to hear what he, specifically, has to say about it. when we have conversations inhibitions are left at the door for the both of us instead of just me. i feel skinless, muscle-less, body-less with donnie. an entity obsessed with him on discord as we write novels to each other, sonnets about how we view the world and its fictions. donnie is my bread and butter, and i’m so glad i found him and stalked him and forced him to be my friend and now he’s reliant on me just like i want.
@weixuldo such a sweet person and very understanding of me and my boundaries. i first found wei’s blog through their fanart of darth vader which i loved so much i sent every single one of their posts to my best friend who i mentioned at the beginning of this post. i still go back to look at those works every so often to brush up on my love for them. such a talented artist i’m very happy i’m worthy of a follow back, and that we enjoy each other’s content.
@mcondance i met through hobie brown back in june 2022. i loved how they kept luring me to their page by mentioning me and my hobie works they kept reading, i swear they were using my vanity as bait and it worked. they are, genuinely, so fucking funny. i only have friends that are funny don’t get me wrong, but there’s something about jupie that when i’m talking about them to other people, that person is like “omg jupie is so funny.” like. jupie just transcends my sense of humor to other people’s. they’re funny to the masses. i’m very bad at texting, but jupie is a person i try to reach out to so they know i’m virtually loving on them. they like the attention. another writer i’m so pleased to be mutuals with when they’re so skilled at the part of writing i always feel like i’m most wooden at. the side of smut writing that takes feeling and sensation and even an edge of genuine horniness, jupie is so good at translating that onto a page.
@murdrdocs is another mutual i gained from the height of the hobie brown era and i believe i saw her content through jupie’s page. now we don’t get to talk too much but that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s not a super cool person. i don’t read much, but the things i do get to read specifically on icarus’ page make me very proud to be her mutual. not only is she an accomplished and gorgeous writer, but her blog designs are always envy-inducing. she shifts her aesthetics so seamlessly—even tho i know how changing a theme can be draining and time-consuming—and it’s always easy on the eyes. her navigation is especially creative and i’ll never forget her newspaper clipping themed announcement for last kinktober.
@princessbrunette another writer i’m constantly in awe of. i met her through her anakin works, and invited myself onto her kinktober taglist when she was still a relatively new blog that’s how much i was instantly attracted to her work. her style is so distinct and so refined, i can overlook non canon work because hers is just that good. she’s also very funny, and has a gifted silver tongue. i’m always impressed with how she’s able to paint a picture in her pieces using nothing but the most concise and visualizing words. it’s not often that i watch something because a friend watched it, but i watched obx for her so i could still enjoy her work that’s how much i love it. our universes we create in our dms are so special to me.
@empiresheir was someone i met through their anakin one-shot about order 66 which i’ve reblogged several times and it’ll never be enough. it was such a good piece i gave live updates to my best friend who was reading it too. i sent those screenshots to her orc cos she deserved to know what i had to say. she was also an essential help when i was writing my kinktober project, kind enough to read my pieces and give me line by line feedback just like i like so i wouldn’t go crazy from lack of attention on pieces i couldn’t post til october. not only another talented and powerful writer (capable of dropping my jaw at how insanely good she is at wording things), but such a sweet person to talk to. and though she’s not active in the fandom anymore i think of her fondly and i hope she’s having such a good time with baldur’s gate.
@darthvvder had a collection of anakin drabbles that i found on wattpad of all places and i was amazed at what i read. thoroughly impressed by the physical reactions her works were eliciting in me. got me to care about smut tropes i hadn’t cared about before simply bcos she was so good at writing them. i posted about a line that gripped me and she commented that it was her, i followed and the rest is history.
@jarebare99 is my boyfriend :) he gets an honorary mention. i wrote him an entire book of poetry and my thoughts on him so he can read that if he’s feeling left out from everyone getting paragraphs. i met him in irl not through a fandom but idc.
@ddejavvu was someone i’d see in my notifications including my inbox every so often and she was very recognizable. i really can’t remember how us being mutuals happened? i’d like to say i somehow discovered she wrote and wrote well and once i began noticing i consistently liked her content then i followed and lo and behold she was following me too. mei is very respectful of my space and i like that she texts me without expecting an answer back bcos i like to read her updates and don’t always know what to say. i have some of her inbox messages i gatekeep and i go back and read them every so often and think about how diabolical it would be if i answered them and floored the world, but i have yet to be ready to share the genius.
@anakincentric technically through anakin. even though we don’t talk much bcos both of us have really similar no-contact ways that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s real sweet. i like when she pops in, drops a banger, and then peaces out. like a disney cameo appearance.
@harrisonbrainrot i wanna say han/indiana. i feel like i was already following his blog because i got to read some of his stuff when i was in a han mood and was like, “yea, this guy gets it.” and then when we reconnected in the comments of someone else’s post, i told him i was a big fan which was true, and then wham bam thank you ma’am mutuals. i have no idea if he knew who i was before or if he was following me, but he’s cool asf. not only is he hot and chill, he’s also really kind with me about not texting. a very generous soul who let me use his crunchyroll to watch jjk out of the goodness of his heart, which i am kissing him for. one of the rare writer’s on here who’s unapologetic in the shit they say, which i always admire and prioritize in who i choose to follow. love his han characterization, so when he’s reblogged a han work of mine, i believe it’s been christened by the harrison ford pope.
@anitheus tagging this blog bcos it’s what i followed first but i also follow her other account @silxani because i love her art style. i love how she draws anakin every time. her spider-sam fanart, and her nsfw anakin works are my favorite, as well as the fanart she made of us for my birthday. gorgeous art style i could look at all day, and i like her personality when we text.
@ivysangel i wanna say it was dc comics but i can’t remember the character, might’ve been jason todd. she came for the dc, and stayed for the other stuff including my general tomfoolery. she flatters me with kind words about how i’ve influenced her, which always makes me soft. we have a lot in common, which is always so much fun to compare, and i love that she watched batman beyond when i recommended it even though i wasn’t expecting her to a) do it and b) love it. she’s aware and respectful of my boundaries when it comes to sharing my ideas which i appreciate, and i love seeing her in my inbox. we haven’t had enough time together for me to nail down everything i like about her, but i will.
@loveliestlovelygirl eloise caught me by surprise bcos it’s not often i get instantly hooked, or at least it hasn’t been that way for a while. i haven’t been in an anakin mood for a while, but i still reblog her works instantly so i can get to it later because i know i’ll like it even though i haven’t read it. idk much about her, but her theme makes me bonkers jealous. it’s so beautiful. like her chapter HTML for her fallen angel au makes me drool.
@psuedosis newest mutual. her reaction towards me made me instantly endeared, and i loved her jet works. some zuko pieces as well! hit at the right time bcos i just finished atla animated. very excited to get to know her more.
boom. indy lore and extensive thoughts on tumblr mutuals.
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jovenshires · 4 months
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hey gang!
i've been thinking, and i think it's about time i take a tiny, teeny lil hiatus. just wanted to let you know i'll be gone for a lil while (hopefully a week+ depending on how it goes). this is NOT because of any of you - in fact i am going to miss you all dearly. just think i need a bit of a mental health reset luvs.
i will have my queue running - i've upped the time and number of posts as well so it will run throughout my normal hours here - and i have content (incorrect tweets, some video edits, gifsets, etc.) lined up until. like may so don't worry about that snkjfk (i won't be gone for that long prommy i just do a lot of content prep). i'll also be watching smosh every day as per usual, and still working on stuff while im gone!! i think this'll be a really great opportunity to get some work done - i have so many fics and passion projects lined up that im really excited about, so hopefully i'll get to finish those in the meantime and i may be back to post them <3 at the very least i'll be back by valentines day for the smoshblr exchange!!
i won't be checking my notifs, the smosh tag, or anything like that. if you want me to see smth in the meantime, hit me with a tag or a dm and i promise i'll see it when i get back. my askbox is still open but i'm afraid i probably won't be answering anything for the time being. if you're an anon who sends me asks - please please please keep sending them to me. truly you have no idea how much i enjoy our silly lil daily chats, they mean the world to me. i will be back to answer them as soon as i feel like im ready <3 and as for dms, i will answer them once i come back, but if you wanna talk to me urgently, i have discord/snapchat/whatsapp/etc where you can find me if you want to hmu for those <3 even if we've never spoken before!! i don't bite and i love friends prommy. i'll def be around for the rest of the day if you want to get my info!
like i said, i'll be around if anyone has any burning questions or wants to chat. i love you all, keep going strong, and be good while i'm gone. in my honor, please follow my golden rules: be kind to one another, make lots of silly goofy content, and, most importantly, do whatever you want forever. love ya! :)
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greenconverses · 4 months
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What's your overall verdict on the show?
Oh, I'm glad you asked because I was def planning on doing a post about it!
Overall, I'm giving the first season a solid B. It was a fairly solid interpretation all around and it nailed the feeling of the books from the very beginning. I had a lot of fun watching it and I'm excited to see where they go from here if they get another season or two (and so help me if the mouse doesn't renew!!!!!) now that the world and characters has been established. It was a big task to properly adapt this, and they did it!
Casting was absolutely stellar and is the main reason why the show succeeds the way it does. The main trio are so very good, especially Walker, who had to be the heart and soul of the show, and he nailed it every episode. I'm excited to see how they all grow as actors in future seasons or with new projects! Also, the supporting cast was fabulous. There were weak spots here and there (LMM) but overall, excellent work by the casting director.
I loved the set design and how they brought the world to life. I'd like to see some more fun with costuming next season (why the same outfits for the whole parts of the quest? give us variety!) and I hope we get to see what they'll do with some of the sets next season.
Areas that need improvement are the script and directing. None of the action scenes really wow'd me and the blocking in some episodes was weird. I complained by story pacing since episode one and that issue never really resolved itself. If they'd gone for a 10 episode season, or extended the shorter episodes by like 5-10 minutes, I think some of these issues would've gotten resolved. There wasn't a lot of time to breathe and sit when big things happened; going from the throne room straight into Luke's betrayal scenes is a recent example where I think the episode could've padded it out some. A lot of the story felt rushed when it didn't need to be.
Unfortunately, by spending so much time with the Sally/Poseidon and Percy backstory, some of the character development and world building for everyone else got sacrificed. BUT I adored those additions, so I'm not mad about it, just disappointed that the rest of the characters didn't get that. (Again, I liked the framing they did with Luke and Percy in the last episode, and showing those scenes gave a little bit more weight to his betrayal... but it could have been more.)
I've already bitched about my other issues with the script (exposition is a scene killer!) and I'm like vaguely annoyed that some of the main beats/themes of the first book were ignored, but they usually replaced it with something better or at least in-line with what had been established in series. Again, I'm not a super stickler to "It has to be 100% accurate!" thinking when it comes to book adaptations, so I didn't mind some of the changes as much as other parts of fandom might've.
So yeah, I'm satisfied. I'm going to miss having something to look forward to on Tuesday nights!
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jbaileyfansite · 6 months
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Interview with People (2023)
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Jonathan Bailey could have gone in any direction after his runaway success as the male romantic lead in Bridgerton'ssecond season.
But choosing to play a gay man opposite Matt Bomer in Showtime's Fellow Travelers, another romantic period drama — this one spanning the 1950s Joseph McCarthy communist trials to the 1980s AIDS crisis — was a "no-brainer" for the British actor.
"I had looked for these gay stories, a sweeping gay love story, and I hadn't really seen them," Bailey, 35, tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "This ticked every single box, and it's something I know I'll be proud of for the rest of my career."
Bailey first grabbed the attention of TV viewers with his breakthrough performance as Anthony Bridgerton, the proud, surly viscount on Shonda Rhimes's sudsy Regency-era drama Bridgerton.
Starring in one of Netflix's most popular shows has been transformative for Bailey, who previously had mostly divided his time between British TV and theater roles.
"Having always waited for auditions and projects to come, I just have that footing now to have choices, which is incredible and so special, because it's not a very common thing," he says. "I have a responsibility therefore not to waste that."
Raised in Benson, England by his father Stuart, a managing director at a honey supplier, and his mother Carole, who worked several jobs to help make ends meet and pay for dance and music lessons for her son and his three older sisters, Bailey found school intimidating.
The actor was 11 when he realized he might be gay, and he sought refuge in his family, the theater and his best friend.
"It's a pretty common story that school is terrifying, especially in a world where people don't understand or the teachers and children don't understand LGBTQ+ identities and experiences," he shares. "But the superpower of being on the outside looking in means that when you're older, you are drawn to storytelling and creatives who are singular and exciting. And I think queer people have a real strength to them, which could be celebrated."
Fellow Travelers certainly celebrates the LGBTQ+ community through its ambitious, decades-long narrative and queer stars. The biggest, most exciting draw for Bailey was his character Tim Laughlin's "expansive arc," evolving from a closeted political staffer in the 1950s to an out-and-proud activist in the 1980s.
"It's explored more, his journey and the expanse of it, more than any other character," Bailey says. "But I think, with Tim, he's constantly searching within himself. He's constantly torn between his identity, the truth about his identity and the stories that he's been told, whether it be by religion, by the government, by his parents or society. So it's thrilling to be able to constantly be torn between two places."
Working alongside Bomer, 46, helped Bailey bring Fellow Travelers to life.
Bomer, who also served as an executive producer on Fellow Travelers, was "a total joy" to work with, recalls Bailey, who meshed well with the White Collar actor right from the start — from their Zoom screen test to their "pregame coffee" five days before they began shooting.
"We both had quite a lot of experience in our careers of intimacy and portraying intimacy, but there's also just so much we've experienced as gay men, as well. So naturally, we had a lot to explore," he says, adding, "To honor the canon of gay storytelling is totally what I set out to do. So if it [Fellow Travelers] is 'up there,' then I'm really happy."
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Bloody Good Luck
Pairings: Sebastian Sallow x Reader
Summary: Garreth tries to help ease your nerves about public speaking with a new potion. When things don’t exactly go as planned, Sebastian is there to support you.
Warnings: public speaking, fluff, blood and nosebleeds, playful fighting
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: This oneshot was requested by @sallyface1726 ! I hope this is what you were looking for. I think I might’ve gone off a little from your original request, but I hope you enjoy, I had a fun time writing it🥰
"Here, this will do it."
"What is it?"
You peer into the cauldron set in front of you. Boiling inside is a sickly-looking green liquid. The creator of said potion, Garreth, beams at you with an enthusiasm that you can't muster enough to match.
"It's very...green." It's the kindest thing you can think to say.
Garreth grins. "Isn't it bloody brilliant? This should do the trick to ease all of your worries."
Using the tip of your wand, you poke at the boiling potion. It doesn't burn your wand like acid, or turn it a funny color, or any other abhorrent third thing that you have yet to imagine; not to say that it bolsters your confidence, you're still rather quite concerned that you've somehow cemented your death.
"Have you tried it?" You ask the red headed Gryffindor.
Garreth's expression wavers. "No," he admits, then quickly adds, "but that's only because I don't need it, remember? I paired up with Amit for the project. He's taken care of it all."
Internally, you curse yourself. It would've been smart to complete the project with a partner, but you dreaded the outcomes — either you shouldered the entire thing by yourself, or your opinions were smothered by an insufferable know-it-all. Besides, your grade in Beasts Class was severely tanking, and you needed to secure a perfect score without any liability.
That is, of course, not counting your crippling fear of public speaking.
You had been complaining to Sebastian and Ominis on your way to class last week; flanked by the two Slytherin, and strolling casually through the courtyard, you thought you were safe. But apparently, you hadn't taken into consideration that your fears would be overhead, especially by that of Garreth, who you either loved or tolerated based on his current antics.
"Did you say you're worried?" Garreth had asked, barging between you and Ominis, slightly out of breath as if he had ran across the castle.
Ominis scoffed at the intrusion, his expression souring. "Well, pardon me," he retorted.
"I forgive you, mate," Garreth said, oblivious. He pushed the hair from his face. "So, did you say you had some worries about the upcoming presentation?"
Your gaze has drifted to Sebastian. He shrugged.
"Um, yeah," you finally admitted.
"Listen, I've been working on something — no, no, don't give me that face. I've been working on something to ease people's fears. A potion. After you drink it, your fears will vanish."
You frowned. "And how does that work?"
"Like I said, I've been working on it." Garreth grinned at you. "What do you say? You could be the first person to try it."
"I don't know —" you began.
Garreth's eyes widened. "Please? I'm sure it will be a smashing success. I'll even share the profits with you! Everyone will be dying to try it. I happen to know a first year who is so terrified of Professor Sharpe that he might buy the 'ole lot —"
"Fine," you conceded.
Garreth's mouth snapped shut. If you hadn’t been so reluctant about accepting, you might've smiled at his childlike excitement.
You’re then brought back to the present by Garreth pushing a goblet in your hand. "You'll want to take it now, before class, so that it has time to work," Garreth instructs.
Miserably, you look down into the goblet.
"Are you really going to drink that?" Sebastian's familiar voice floats into the room. Garreth and you both turn to find him strolling into the empty Potions classroom, shrugging on his robes.
You grimace. "I think so."
"And you tested it?" Sebastian asks. He stands slightly behind you now, and his proximity incites an entire flock of jobberknolls in your stomach.
Garreth has the good sense to appear nervous.
"Um, yeah, of course," he says. He suddenly loses the ability to maintain eye contact, then mumbles some excuse about finding Amit and scurries away. Sebastian watches him leave.
"I don't have a good feeling about this."
You gently punch his arm. "You didn't have to scare him away."
"What?" Sebastian feigns offense. "I did not."
"Yes, you did," you reply, full of amusement. "After you hexed Everett the other day for pranking me, no one wants to cross you."
Sebastian pauses, seeming to digest this information. Finally, he settles on, "Well he had it coming for him."
"You don't have to defend me, you know. I can do it perfectly fine myself."
"I know." Sebastian's lips curl upward. You try very hard not to think about what it's like to kiss him. "I just like to. Is that such a crime?"
"Hardly. Although it could quite possibly turn into one if you keep on this path of leaping to defend my honor," you tease him.
Sebastian smiles, then, and the sight of it is like the sun breaking through the clouds. "Guilty as charged." His expression changes slightly. "You were kidding about taking that potion, though, weren't you? Garreth can't be trusted."
The liquid in the goblet gurgles.
"You know how anxious I get," you remind him. Even the thought of the impending presentation makes your stomach twist and turn.
Sebastian frowns. "There has to be another way."
"I'm doing it, and you can't stop me."
"Well, go on then."
You grip on the goblet tightens. Now, it was no longer a matter of easing your nerves but proving your bravery. Sebastian watches, in thinly veiled amusment, as you pinch your nose and then drain the goblet of its contents. The potion doesn't taste half as bad as you thought it would.
Slamming the goblet down on the table, you announce, "Okay, I'm ready."
"Feeling any different?" Sebastian asks.
"I don't know," you tell him, "and I don't care. I'll see you on the other side."
And then you march towards the Beasts classroom.
The class begins rather uneventfully. Professor Howin introduces the topic of presentation — the care of exotic beasts — and selects the first student pairing to present. You're grateful that you're not first, but when it's your time to present, there's a nervous stirring in the pit of your stomach. You make your way to the front of the class.
Sebastian smiles at you from the back row. Garreth gives you a double thumbs up. And Natty, who is aware of your social anxieties after a disastrous project in Charms together, straightens in her seat and gives you an encouraging nod. Emboldened, you launch into your presentation about the care of Thorny Newts, bright-colored amphibians who dwell mostly in the eastern regions of Asia.
While the presentation starts slowly, you gradually feel yourself relax. You're not even a quarter of the way through the presentation when the tightening in your chest loosens, and you're suddenly confidently carrying through the necessities of Thorny Newt care. In fact, you barely remember feeling afraid at all.
You're about to delve into the feeding requirements of the Thorny Newt when someone near the front of the class gasps. You're not sure what it's about, so you forge ahead. Only when several other students start to recoil in surprise do you suspect that something is wrong.
Panicked, you look for Sebastian.
Looking rather pale, he mimes wiping his nose.
You copy the gesture, and immediately feel a thick wetness; you pull away, and find blood now smeared across your hand and sleeve. Horror yawns inside you. Your speech falters as even more blood begins to seep from your nose.
In an effort to stop the bleeding, you hold your sleeve firmly against your nose.
"Thorny Newts? More like Bloody Newts!" One of the other fifth years shout. This provokes a chorus of giggles. Several more students chime in on the unfortunate situation, until everyone is either covering their mouths in disgust or laughing uproariously.
Tears spring to your eyes. You wish desperately that a portal would open under your feet and swallow you up, take you somewhere where nobody knew your name. A mixture of humiliation and sadness crash over you.
Professor Howin approaches you. "Oh, dear —" but it's all the time she has to say before there's another eruption of gasps.
Grateful for, well, only a portion of the attention to be diverted from you, you stare in wide-eyed confusion as Sebastian shoots to his feet. Crimson blood dribbles down his lips and onto the front of his robes.
The class has lost all means of respect. Chants of "Bloody Newt" echo and disturb the nearby beasts in their pens. Students laugh at you, and now Sebastian. Professor Howin swallows thickly, then glances between the both of you.
"Infirmary, now!" She orders. "And if this was just some ploy to get out of your schoolwork, we will be having a firm talk with the headmaster."
Ashamed, you duck your head and scurry away. You're about halfway up the path to the infirmary, nose still gushing blood, when Sebastian catches up with you. His laughter, which usually comforts you, only makes the blush burning your cheeks even warmer.
"I can't believe that happened!" He cries, delighted.
Doing nothing to staunch his own bloody nose, it runs freely down his face. You find it highly annoying that he still manages to be painfully handsome.
You don't reply, and just walk faster.
"Hey, Y/N —" he grabs your shoulder. "Are you crying?"
You yank away from him. Tears mix with the blood. Swallowing, you try to disguise your sadness but fail epically. "I—yes. That was properly embarrassing. In front of the whole class, too." You shake your head. "I'm probably going to fail Beasts Class now."
Sebastian scoffs. "No you won't. Not if I have anything to do with it."
"Why is your nose bleeding anyway?" You ask. "If you did it just to save me, I already told you that I don't need you doing that. And now Howin thinks it's something we planned."
You hiccup.
You hated crying. Your face got splotchy, and you could hardly control your voice from revealing your emotions. Perhaps you were a fool to think that taking a potion would magically fix your fears, or that a presentation could actually go well.
Sebastian persists, matching your pace despite your efforts to lose him. "If you want the truth, I took some of the potion after you left. I knew Garreth would mess up somehow."
You shoot him a glance. "Really?"
"Swear." Finally, he swipes at his bloody nose but it only seems to make it worse. "You were doing so well that I thought the bastard actually did something."
You sniff. "You think?"
"Yes! You were brilliant!" Sebastian exclaims. "Howin would be foolish not to give you credit for it, bloody nose or not."
You had almost made it to the infirmary. Your tears had nearly ceased, although the blood had not. "I should've taken your word about trusting any potion made by Garreth."
"I will abstain from my right to say I told you so," Sebastian teases.
The nurse at the infirmary immediately ushers you both onto side-by-side beds and begins working. Sebastian and you share small, secretive smiles when she asks what happened. Neither of you tell her the truth. She doesn't seemed convinced, but manages to find a cure despite your lack of answers.
You're given instructions to wait half an hour, in case the bleeding starts again, and then return back to class.
"What I don't understand," you say, as the nurse leaves to tend to another patient, "is why you took the potion too. You're not scared of public speaking."
Sebastian shrugs. "You're not wrong."
"So why then? Especially if you don't trust Garreth."
"I couldn't let you take it alone. Whatever was going to happen, we were going to go through it together," he explains. Somewhat sheepishly, he adds, "I should've told you not to take it in the first place instead of challenging you. You do a wonderful job in everything you do, there's no need for stupid fear reducing potions."
Your previous humiliation melts into bliss. "It's sweet of you to say that."
"It's true, though," Sebastian says. "I know you don't like talking in front of others, but you're obviously so passionate about everything you do that hardly anyone even notices."
"They notice now," you remark.
"Shame on them, then. It shouldn't take a little blood for them to notice how great you are."
"Just a little?"
Sebastian snorts and rolls his eyes. "Did you have to ruin a perfectly nice sentiment?"
"I just wanted to confirm your perspective on the amount of blood that you qualifies as little," you reply with a laugh. Both of your robes are stained with dried blood.
The nurse dismisses you both.
You and Sebastian lapse into a discussion about how the rest of your day will look — now that you both look as if you've been in a horrendous battle — when he catches sight of something across the courtyard that makes him freeze.
Following his eyes, you spot Garreth moving through the crowd of students.
"Sebastian —" you warn.
"Weasley, c'mere you little twat!" Sebastian shouts. It's as if you hadn't even spoken.
He tears himself from your side in order to pursue the Gryffindor.  You watch, partly in amusement and partly in disbelief, as Sebastian races across the courtyard and finally manages to tackle Garreth into a pile of leaves. Sounds of their tussle rise above the chatter of students, interspersed with the flash of red and green robes as their identities get lost in a tangle of limbs.
"Who messed with you now?"
Ominis appears at your side. His features are the picture of nonchalance.
You sigh. "Garreth."
"Bloody nose?"
"How did you know?" You look at him skeptically.
Ominis clicks his tongue. "Just because I cannot see does not mean I cannot hear." There's a pause as you, watching, and Ominis, listening, observe the fight between the two boys. "Should we stop them?"
You frown. "Mm. In a second."
Sure, you didn't need Sebastian to leap to your defense like a rabid dog, but it didn't mean that you didn't like it. It brought a certain kind of warmth to your body.
Besides, there were far worse things in the world then to be loved fiercely.
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bumblequinn · 9 months
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Hi! Medium time listener (I followed after slarpg altered my brain chemistry), first timer asker! What is your process when it comes to composing for games? Is it any different when the subject changes (personal, commission, etc)?
hehehe, well i hope that alteration was a positive one! 😋
so i think there's kind of two sides to this: there's the creative process, and the collaborative process.
The Creative Process
my creative process is actually pretty similar whether i'm working on contract or for personal enjoyment.
first, i consider:
the needs of the prompt in front of me (is it a save menu or a boss battle? is it a tense scene is or a tender one?)
how it should fit into the bigger picture of the whole project (mood/tone, genre, leitmotifs, instrumentation, production style, etc)
what tools i will need to use (subtractive synth or sampler or soundfont or live recording?)
then, i typically write what i call a "skeleton:" just the barest bones of a piece of music. i almost always do this on piano, dividing the bass, harmony, and melody into very distinct registers. i do it this way for several reasons learned the hard way:
first, by dividing parts into clearly delineated registers, i'm saving myself a whole lot of trouble down the line. i have long had a bad habit of over-crowded arrangements, which besides being weaker from a composition standpoint, are also notoriously difficult to mix. and mixing is already hard enough as it is! so writing a strong and well balanced composition from the outset is the best way to go.
second: when you jump into arranging or mixing before the whole piece is written, it's much easier to get stuck. where should i take this track next? i dunno, guess i'll fiddle with the mix. suddenly a week's gone by and i'm still working on a half-written track. if i require myself to write the whole piece out first, then this bottleneck is almost always eliminated.
sometimes you can get really excited about an idea, get carried away with arranging and producing a whole track, get to feeling really attached to it—only for your collaborator to say it's just not the right direction. by limiting myself to one instrument, i don't put in a disproportionate amount of work before confirming whether or not the piece is actually a good fit. and bonus, if it's not a good fit then i have a piece of music written that can serve another project later (or another part of the current project, if i'm lucky)!
of course, i'm not always perfect about this. even very recently, i got really stoked about a track i was cooking up for susan taxpayer and went BANANAS with it—only for punkitt to say she loved it but it wasn't at all the right vibe. a hard but necessary reminder of why i try not to get carried away prematurely!
(don't worry, the one i made to replace it fit like a glove, and the first attempt is gonna be used elsewhere. love wins 😌)
once i do have confirmation that i'm headed in the right direction with an idea though, that's where i really get into it with choosing instruments, designing synths, figuring out the production style, etc. and there's where the real back-and-forth with my collaborator begins, to make sure things are staying on track every step of the way. that leads us to:
The Collaborative Process
for starters, and probably most obviously, different people are different to work with. everyone has different strengths and challenges both creatively and interpersonally, so i try to meet my collaborator where they're at and tune in to their specific needs, vision, and communication style. within reason, i try not to look at these things as being "better" or "worse" with one person versus another, just different!
i think the biggest differences for me as far as how much time and energy i invest into a project are A) whether it's paid or pro bono, and B) my own level of personal excitement about the project.
if i'm doing something purely for fun, it's pretty exclusively because i'm really hyped about the project. because, well, it wouldn't be fun if i weren't, right? and in that situation, i enjoy giving it my all! susan taxpayer falls firmly into this category, and i'm having a blast with it.
SLARPG started out pretty similarly, but as the scope of the project grew, it evolved into more of a pro bono arrangement; bobby and i drafted up a contract and negotiated on how we would split earnings from the game once it released, and that's where i've gotten the vast majority of my income this year. it remained a passion project til the end, but i could not in good conscience put that much of my life into a project of that size unpaid, no matter how much i loved it! (maybe one day, if we collectively defeat capitalism and i no longer have to worry about such things... 🥲)
things get a bit different when you get into strictly contract work, though. when it's something i'm doing for a client who's paying from the start and it's not for my own enrichment, i have more hard and fast boundaries on how much of myself i put into the project. i have specific rates, and offer only so many free revisions before charging additional fees. sure, i can be horribly particular and will revise something a bazillion times to get it "just right" if i'm working on a passion project, but i'm not about to do that for like. a corporate commercial or whatever lol
whether it's for fun or all business, though, i always try to make something i'm proud of. because i want whomever i collaborate with to have something they're happy with in the end, of course! plus i'm kind of allergic to phoning it in, i'm too extra for that 😜
________________
i'm sure i could go on, but i think i'll leave it at that! pardon the slow response, it took me some time to formulate my thoughts for this one. thanks for the question, and take care ^^ 🎵
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chelleztjs18 · 2 years
Text
Cupcakes For My Cupcake (E.O)
Elizabeth Olsen x Short!Fem!Reader
Tumblr media
Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader
Summary: Everybody calls Lizzie "The Y/n whisperer" for a reason or maybe two.
Warning: None, I think. Just a little teasing about height. But mainly FLUFF.
Requested: Yes.
A/N: Hello! I'm glad to say that I finally got some requests done and this is one of them. Thank you @honey-sweet-hiraeth for helping me brainstorming and picked the title. I was dealing with ear pain and couldn't think of any title.. lol. Also, this wasn't proofread well. Anyway, happy reading! I have another Lizzie fic coming. Enjoy!
“Cut!” Anthony, one of the directors exclaimed and the filming of a part of a scene stopped instantly. All the cast who are in this scene turn their head to him. “Uh, okay, Y/n, maybe we should try to move you somewhere else. I can barely see you from any angle if you are next to Hemsworth. It looks like you are gone completely when you stand next to him.” Anthony expresses his thoughts as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. His thinking face looks so obvious.
“Aww, come on y/n. Don’t be shy and hide behind me.” The Australian actor pitches a joke in a sing-song tone. You laugh. “I wasn’t hiding, it’s just your muscles are too bulky and taking my spot here.” Everybody laughs. It was a playful sarcasm but they found it funny.
Being 5 feet tall has its own pros and cons. People always think you are adorable. It’s not hard to find clothes your size and other perks. The cons? Well, of course they are no fun. Despite being called adorable sometimes makes you feel nice if it’s in certain circumstances by certain people. You are definitely not immune to some or perhaps lots of jokes about how short you are. Families and friends casually poking fun about it and you are used to it. Sometimes you play along but sometimes you don’t. And when you don't, they never take your retorts or feisty come back personally. They all love you.
For working situations, as an actress, it hasn’t been really an obstacle for you to get a role. Surprisingly, you got some projects with Marvel. It's no secret that your height has been a little something extra for the director to figure out especially on camera angles because your friends a.k.a other marvel casts are taller than you. Sometimes the directors think you are “drowning” when you are surrounded by them
Since you joined Marvel, you have officially taken Scarlett’s title as the shortest Marvel’s cast and she is pretty much happy about it because now, she is not the target for all those height jokes anymore. You are.
Today’s filming has been a little challenging for you. If you can be honest, you are tired and the jet lag from the time difference of different filming locations doesn’t help at all. You were excited when you woke up to go to work but then your mood descended as soon as you found out that Lizzie is not scheduled for today’s filming. Your friendship with her has been very close and inseparable. She is your favorite person you met through Marvel.
“How about if she stands next to Benedict?” Joe proposes his idea. “Yeah, we can try that.” Anthony agrees.
You follow their instructions to move next to the British actor and restart the scene filming. You understand that this is about your height but this time it agitates you a little, not to them but to your own shortself. You thought the angle problem had been solved this time but you were wrong.
“Cut! No, it still doesn’t work well. How about next to Mark? No. We can’t put her next to him either because of the Hulk visual effect.” Joe mumbles her thoughts.
“Maybe we should lift her up a bit with the invisible wire, put a little visual effect so she will look a little taller.” Benedict’s heavy voice and thick accent cover another teasing comment and this time you let out a fake bitter laugh but everybody’s laughter sounds really spontaneous. “Don’t mess with a short girl, Benedict. With wires or not, I still can kick your ass.”
"Ouh, you better be careful, Benedict. Don’t piss the little one off, you won’t be able to see where shorty goes and before you know it, you’ll get your ass kicked. " Another one of the cast, Josh Brolin, adds a remark, joining in with the other joking around. This time you only patch a quick smile and reply “Okay, purple giant. I guess, thanks?” Josh laughs at your snarky response.
“Y/n, how about standing on Jer's left? I think that would be the best. Sorry, y/n.” Anthony requests and he notices how tired you look and having a mood swing but he understands and even kindly apologizes to you.
Your stomach growls but not loud enough for anybody to hear. You are starving because you didn't get the chance to have breakfast. “Yeah sure. No problem.” You agree without hesitation and move again. Then they ask you to wait for them to check the view from different angles. 
“Don’t worry, y/n. We all know that you are vertically challenged, we’ll figure out the best angle so fans will see you in this scene.” One of the camera crews pointed out more as he laughed with others and that was it. You are on your limit on being bombarded with endless height jokes.
“Well, I believe that making fun of the short girl really IS the best way to let out everyone know you are compensating for a ‘sizeably’ challenged dick.” Just like that you blew up a little and you made the air quote. “Oooohhhhh burn!” everybody reacts in unison at your reply to him.
“Dang! Y/n! Mic drop.” Anthony Mackie was genuinely surprised by your words and a few seconds after that everybody laughed along with the guy that you addressed your frustration just now.
“You know what? I’m sorry, I need a few minutes.” With that, you walk off the set to your trailer.
“Uh-oh. She is pissed.” Jeremy comments as he watches you walk away. “Of course, she is. It was like one after another of jokes you guys threw at her. Poor y/n. She’s not in the mood today.” Scarlett finally breaks her silence.
“Oh yeah, shit. How couldn’t we notice that? Lizzie’s not here today. I guess we kinda forgot the line with the jokes.” The god of thunder actor points out his realization.
“So, should we call the ‘Y’n whisperer’ to make her feel better? Lizzie has been the only one who can calm her down or cheer her up.” Mackie lets out the first solution that came up in his mind.
“It’s Lizzie’s day off, we can’t call her for that.” Chris Evans disagrees. “Well, just let her take her time a little bit. We all can take a break. It’s almost lunch time anyway.” The directors announced.
Little do everybody know, Scarlett stepped aside and reached her phone to call Lizzie but she got no answer. A minute later Lizzie walks in with her hands full. The security guards help her to bring some more stuff in.
“Hi everybody! I cooked some food for lunch. Come and get it!” She greets as she puts on the tables where the food usually is. The casts right away greet her and go to the table to have lunch together.
One by one they thank Lizzie for the food. “Where is Y/n?” It was the first question that jumped out of Lizzie’s lips as her eyes searched for her while she set the food.
“Y/n walked off the set. The boys pissed her off.” Scarlett answers quickly. “Aww, did you guys joke around about her height again?” Lizzie guessed with a knowing look.
“Not me. It was Hemsworth, Benedict, Josh and one of the camera crew, I forgot his name.” Jeremy denies and casually tells Lizzie who did it with a little laugh. “But she gave a great come back to him though. It was awesome and she was feisty!” Mackie proudly tells Lizzie about you while he scoops some food to his plate.
“And she called Josh ‘purple giant, don’t forget that’.” RDJ slips in a comment and they all laugh. “Well, she is probably tired and hungry. I made her favorite food so I’m gonna find her and talk to her.” Lizzie casually speaks and grabs one brown paper bag that was separated from others. With a smile, she walks away to find you.
_____
You heard a knock on your trailer door. “I’ll be on the set in a few minutes.” You subtly refuse to open the door to whoever it is behind the door.
“Y/n, it’s me. Let me in, please. I cooked your favorite food.” Oh that voice feels like rain on a desert. It soothes you and lifts up your spirit. Your favorite person comes to surprise you. You quickly opened the door and a wide smile welcomed her. “Lizzie!” You open your arms inviting her into your hug.
“Hey you, grumpy Gus. Whatcha doin here?” Lizzie jokingly greets you and hugs you tight and rubs your back then walks in. “Oh, nothing. Just need a little break.” You smile awkwardly then close your door and back to your chair.
Lizzie puts the paper bag on the table and takes a seat face to face with you. “I heard what happened.” She starts the conversation and grabs your hand tenderly. Her thumb delicately rubs the back of your hand, making your heart leap.
In a millisecond, you are not upset anymore. You feel better. “Yeah, I didn’t mean to be a bitch about it. You know me, I usually don’t mind their jokes about me being short. I was just not in the mood I guess.” You try to keep your cool in front of her while explaining to her.
“I know, y/n. You are tired and hungry. Also, you miss me aaand my cooking." She scrunches her nose and confidently shows you how well she knows you and followed by a little laugh as her sparkling green eyes look at you.
"Yes, yes and no." You tease her by your pretend disagreement that you miss her and your cooking. She was right, you miss her. That's what trigger your mood swing in the first place.
"Ooh?? Okaaay. I see how it is now. You don't miss me and my cooking? Alright then, I will go right now and take this with me." Lizzie cutely plays along with your joke and pretends that she is leaving with the bag she brought.
"No..no..no.. Wait.. wait.. I was just kidding. Yes, I miss you and your cooking.. Happy now?" You admit it in defeat and giggle as you grab her hand. She turns around. You hear her laughing and saying " Yes, I am. You know me, I love it when I'm right." She gently taps your nose with the tip of her finger followed by her adorable giggle.
"Now, where is my food?" You ask as you rub both of your palms excitedly.
"Well, it's on the table where we usually eat. Everybody is eating now but I also made this special for you." She slides the small brown paper bag to you.
"Really? Special for me?? Sweet!!" You quickly open the bag and pull out a box of it like a little kid on Christmas morning. Her warm forest green eyes are drinking the view in awe. Cherishing every second she has with you.
"Cupcakes for my cupcake." She said, her eyes sparkling with adoration and love. She always loves seeing your excitement every time she makes something for you.
"Chocolate cupcake!!" You exclaimed with an ear to ear smile.
"Uh-huh. With Scarlet Witch red frosting too. Since you like her so much." She points it out in a proud tone.
"Yes, I like her so much but I love the actress that plays her." You casually speak as your finger takes a little of the frosting and you taste it. You hum in such enjoyment with your eyes closed.
You and Lizzie are really close friends. Both of you sometimes casually express how much you love each other or compliment each other and even tease each other.
"Gosh, I love everything you cook and bake. They are always so delicious." You compliment with a satisfied sigh.
"Don't tell the others that I brought you these cupcakes because I only made them for you." She giggles. "Oh, wow. I'm that special. I'm honored, Liz."
"Of course you are." Lizzie leans and gives one quick soft kiss on your cheek before she stands up. You died a little inside with happiness for a few seconds. The feeling of her lips brushing your cheek makes your lungs forget what oxygen is.
"You are my favorite short girl, remember?" She jokingly pats your head.
"Well, special for you, you can call me short or joke about my height anytime you want. I don't mind." You voluntarily propose the idea.
She laughs louder and the sound of it makes your brain turn into a puddle. "I know, honey. Now, let's go have lunch. Everybody's waiting for us." She grabs your hand and leads you out of your trail.
_____
“Y/n! You are back! Come here, have lunch with us!” Scarlet welcomes you in such a thrill. “Well, look who’s back!” Jeremy gives the same excited tone as Scarlet did.
“See! I told you! Lizzie, the ‘Y/n whisperer’ ! I was right. Only Lizzie can cheer Little Miss Grumpy back and bring her here.” Pride sounds clear in Mackie’s tone.
“Hi guys! I’m back!” You greeted them with a cheerful tone, totally opposite from how you were earlier.
“Come sit here” Hemsworth’s heavy voice chimes in as he points at two empty chairs between him and Benedict. You take your seat. “Y/n, we are sorry if our jokes crossed the line.” The man with the red cloak apologizes on behalf of everybody.
“Oh no. It’s okay. I’m sorry too that I was a little over reacting.” You stated.
“A little? You were a total drama queen earlier.” Mackie blurted out playfully. You know he was joking. “Well, an adorable short drama queen.” The buff blonde man wraps his arms around your shoulders close to him in a brotherly manner. You gotta admit that what Mackie and Hemsworth said were funny.
“Okay, y/n. Here, I already prepared a plate for you from home.” The brunette lays the plate of food in front of you. You thank her and instantly take a bite of it.
"Oh my god. My favorite..So good.." another praise comes out of your lips as you eat. You even dance a little from how delicious it tastes.
"Wait, Y/n got a special prepared plate? Wow. You both need to date, seriously." The archer cast finally vocalized what everybody has been thinking.
You choke a little from the comment and grab a drink right away. You look at Lizzie, she doesn't say anything but all smiling complete with blushing cheeks.
"What–uh what did you mean?" You clear your throat nervously as you stutter with your question.
“Oh please y/n. You know what he meant. We all know you both are VERY close." Scarlett stated with a knowing smile.
"Yeah, like Mackie said, Lizzie is the only one that can cheer you up whenever you are not in the mood. Everytime Lizzie comes to the set or any event, you are the first person that she will ask or look for." RDJ adds more facts to back Scarlet up.
"Well, look at you now. Just from eating what Lizzie cooked, you are a completely different person now, all smiling and dancing. Earlier you were a feisty little woman." Chris Evans laughed out loud with his hands on his chest as soon as he finished talking.
"And, Lizzie here keeps smiling. Not saying a word says a lot about this, darling" The tall British guy takes his turn pitching in his opinion. As Lizzie sits between him and you.
You look at her, and Benedict was right. Lizzie is all smiling yet not saying even a word, you start to think if she agrees with everybody that you both need to date. Does it mean she likes you?
You have been having a crush on her for a little while now. You don't know what to do because you are worried it will change your friendship. Also, you think that there is no way the goddess of beauty herself will like you back more than as a friend.
You try your luck to find out by playing along with them and joke "Well, maybe if she'd ask me out we would be dating already." You try your best to look as if you're joking but deep down you were actually serious about it. That's actually the thought you have been thinking every time you have a "what if Lizzie.." thinking session by yourself.
"Oooohhhhh" the cast exclaimed all at once, very thrilled. “The truth has come out!” Hemsworth exclaimed as he raised his hand up as if he just won something.
Lizzie finally hinted in a subtle way the truth from her side. “Y/n, you’re already coming over for movie night, tonight. I’ll order take out and we can cuddle on the couch and call it a date.” She innocently smiles, glances at you and then takes another bite of her food.
“It’s a date!!” Mackie shouted in elation. Without a doubt, the others cheer.
Meanwhile, you marveled at what Lizzie said and how she nonchalantly addressed it. A pat she gives you on your shoulder brought you back from your daze. “You okay?” Her gaze really lifted your mood and calmed you down. It felt like a caffeine buzz and sedative at the same time.
“Y-yeah. I’m okay.” Once again, you stutter. You got a warm, fuzzy feeling.
After lunch, everybody walks back to the set and you are the last one at the table. “Well, Liz, I gotta go back to the set. Thank you for the lunch and the cupcake. I love it. You made my day.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tonight for our first date.” Excitement raced through her. She glows inside. You feel drunk in happiness as you get another kiss on your cheek before you walk away.
You felt giddy and couldn't stop smiling. Tonight, you will have your first date with the woman who always has her way to your heart.
A/n: Well, that's it for today. I hope you enjoy the fluff! I'm in the mood of fluff writing, so you'll see more fluff coming. Reblog and comment are highly appreciated! Follow me for more. See you!
Cheerio!
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kaidanworkshop · 2 months
Note
Not really an ask, put just wanted to say...
Found this project a few months or so back, and let me tell you I am so dang excited for it! Like many have stated before, I love Liv's Kaidan mod, and while the Extended Edition is good, it just...changes a lot of what I originally fell in love with Kaidan. I check in every now and then to catch up on progress and posts, and I -love- what the team has created so far. I'm already in love with Kaidan's new VA work, it's different but in a good way, and it gives on the same feel as Liv's original mod.
I can't wait till this gets released and am eagerly waiting to dive back into Skyrim with my favorite swordsman at my side.
We know a new VA for such an iconic character can be a bit jarring, but we believe Paul Warren has gone above and beyond in his rendition of Kaidan. As we continue to work on our Workshop Original scripts, we hope that we can continue to match the tone and depiction originally set by LivTempleton. Thank you for the kind words!
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cursedvibes · 2 months
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Ryoumen Sukuna or Yorozu for the ask game if you don't mind, thanks
I don't mind at all! I answered Sukuna yesterday, but I'll gladly do
Yorozu
Sexuality Headcanon:
I would say probably bi? Although I'm not sure if she's actually attracted to men because our only point of reference is Sukuna and with him she cares more about status and what she projected about herself onto him. She doesn't really seem to be attracted to him or even care much about his personality. Still gonna tentatively say she swings in all kinds of ways. If someone can give her a horny fight, that's all that counts.
Gender Headcanon:
I'd call it like woman+ or maybe a smidge of multigender. She clearly likes her body as is and places a lot of importance on her being a woman as far as status is concerned, but she also likes having a flat chest, big defined muscles and a bulge, so I think there's definitely some variety in her gender and non-conformity. Non-conformity definitely especially if you look at her in the Heian era, where she defies traditional gender roles of women by not really being bound to a man. She works for the Fujiwara, but that seemed to have been more out of convenience. She can choose what she does freely and doesn't even have to bother with social etiquette.
A ship I have with said character:
Takako, just like in the previous ask. I think Takako's avoidant CT could really rile her up and make her interested in her. Yorozu likes getting physical, so that would be a new challenge for her. I'd like to believe she paid her a short visit when coming to Sendai in the modern era and check up on how she's doing.
A BROTP I have with said character:
Maybe with Uraume? I do like their bitchy attitudes and Yorozu seems to appreciate their cooking. They could be very fun together if they are not fighting over Sukuna.
A NOTP I have with said character:
I guess kind of with Sukuna. I don't really like them as a serious ship or anything sexual between them really. They can be fun for a while, mostly because Yorozu just has such an engaging and fiery personality, but they both should just move on to better things/people.
A random headcanon:
When Kenjaku scouted her for the Culling Game, they bonded a bit over insects. Kenjaku seems to have an affinity for centipedes or arthropods in general and Yorozu is fascinated by all kinds of insects. They could sit together in the grass and study the wildlife like the two nerds they are.
General Opinion over said character:
As annoying as she can be, I still love her. I just wish Gege would've highlighted more of her that doesn't directly relate to Sukuna. I would've liked to see more of Yorozu's studious side in general because I mean she worked really hard to get to where she was and she a lot of research on herself and her environment that often gets overlooked. She actually seems to know a lot about entomology and physics, but all people remember is her throwing herself at Sukuna. Still firmly stand by the opinion that Sukuna was the most boring aspect of their fight. If he had actually engaged a bit more, had some fun and gone with the flow, the fight would've been a lot more entertaining. This way Yorozu had to carry the tension and provide the excitement all on her own, while Sukuna (like he often does) just stood around doing nothing.
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adorecline · 2 years
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Omg I just read your Getting Older imagine and I absolutely loved it. Maybe you could do another one sometime soon where it's another ryan and blake x daughter reader but she's been an actress since she was very young acting in a bunch of TV shows and movies, and recently her new movie that has become a series just came out and they are all proud of her. Or even one where she is an actress as well but she meets Walker Scobell but she is older than him but he like has a cute little crush on her and she is like one of his idols.
i love this idea! i hope you like it! <3
The Crush {Ryan Reynolds x daughter!reader}
summary: y/n attends the premiere of The Adam Project with her mom and dad, and meets her dad's costar who also happens to be a big fan of her (and has a huge crush on her)
I do not give anyone permission to copy or repost my work on here or any other websites. no translations either. likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated.
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Liked by maya_hawke, and 879,828 others
yourusername: who's ready for #theadamproject ??
comments
user01: you look so pretty y/n 🥺
user02: it's giving very much blake
| yourusername: she did raise me after all :)
user03: so excited for this movie
vancityreynolds: i have to admit i am quite ready for this movie :)
| yourusername: haha dad...you're so funny!
| vancityreynolds: why thank you, daughter ☺️
user04: you and your mom always have the best dresses i swear 😍
maya_hawke: you look gorgeous y/n!
| yourusername: thank you, maya! ily!!
y/n posed for the photographers on the red carpet. She stood up straight and looked in everyone direction hoping she was somewhat giving all the cameras a smile. She was close to the end of the carpet and she could go meet her parents inside the theater.
y/n waved to the photographers letting them know she would be walking off. She stopped by the railing that held back screaming fans to take some pictures and sign autographs.
When she was done, she started to make her way into the theater, but was stopped by a boy with blonde hair who she recognized as Walker Scobell, her dad's costar of the movie.
"Hi y/n." Walker smiled a bit shyly.
"Hey Walker. It's so nice to meet you finally." y/n smiled back happily.
"It's nice to meet you, too." Walker said. y/n noticed him fidgeting with his fingers a bit. "I'm a big fan of you and your work. You are an amazing actress." He complimented her.
"Thank you so much." y/n beamed at his sweetness. "That means a lot."
"It's true. I've seen like all of your movies." Walker admitted. "You're one of my idols actually. You're just such an amazing actress. You're so talented and you're really pretty, too." His cheeks flushed after he finished.
"Woah there, Kid!" Ryan said walking up to them. "I like you, but slow your roll with my daughter." He joked making Walker's cheek grow even more red.
"Oh my god." Walker mumbled covering his face with his hands to hide his cheeks.
"I'm just messing with you, Walk." Ryan laughed patting his back.
"I was gonna ask for a picture, but now I'm too embarrassed." Walker shook his head smiling nervously.
"No! It's okay. Let's take a picture." y/n reassured him. "Dad, stop making him nervous."
"Okay, I'm sorry." Ryan jokingly raised his hands in defense. "Here, I'll take the picture for you." Ryan held his hand out and Walker gave him his phone.
y/n wrapped her arm over Walker's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her back. y/n crouched down and leaned closer to him. Both y/n and Walker smiled towards the camera while Ryan sang in a high voice "Cheese!" He snapped a couple pictures before giving Walker his phone back.
"Thank you, y/n." Walker said to her. "It was really nice meeting you."
"You too! I cant wait to see your movie," y/n replied. "My dad has told me great things about."
"Oh, thank you." Walker eyes lit up. "I should probably go find my dad now." He said pointing to the doors behind them.
"We'll see you later, Walker." Ryan said as he left. He waited until Walker was gone then turned back to y/n. "I knew he had a crush on you."
"You're so mean." y/n laughed shaking her head. "Come on, mom is probably wondering where we are."
"Actually, she's probably thankful for the break from us." Ryan said.
tags: @thollandgf
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kiiyome-art · 14 days
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I've been thinking a lot about destiny lately, and how I want to go about writing and drawing out my warlock, Vienna's, story, now that the light and dark saga is coming to a close. I was a bit late to the destiny scene, all things considered, and between my creative struggles and (trying) to be a functional human being, I've not created as much as id have liked to. So come along with me on my little rant as I think allowed my thoughts, if you feel so inclined.^^
There's still so much I want to write, and stories to tell within the destiny universe.
I started playing the game during season of the plunder, when my friends introduced me to it, and we became a glorious fireteam! I was drawn to the pretty warlock space magic immediately, and thus, Vienna was born. ( Though I've since become a hunter main, she's still my favorite blorbo. )
I quickly fell in love with the story and it's characters, dug deep into the lore and since then, her story has gone through a LOT of changes. I try to stick close to the canon story for the most part, in my universe Vienna is the young wolf who was risen in D1, and has since gone through most of what we see throughout the dlcs and seasons past then, I'll probably elaborate on that further at one point.
Most of my drawings that I've posted here are fun little doodles, occasional quips between characters, and overall "for fun" stuff. The majority of what I've thought up for Vienna has been confined to my own head and the rare rants to my friends. And now with final shape being so close, I feel myself pressured to know, and write down, everything that I can. Which, realistically, is silly.
I had plans to make a three minute animatic of Vienna during forsaken since it was a MASSIVE turning point for her, have it out by final shape, then make an entirely NEW animatic based off OF final shape, mostly inspired by Caydes return. Whilst I had mapped out most of it and gotten some rough sketches down, I didn't even begin on the actual project. Could I have? Probably. Do i feel guilty about it? Yes. Will those projects still happen? Hopefully.
I know for all you creatives out there that might be reading this, the feeling of having plans, and not being able to carry through with them, or it not turning out how you wanted, is a shitty feeling, not foreign to ANY of us.
I felt myself compelled to write this in the first place because I know that, well, I'm not alone.
There's many creatives out there feeling the same pressure to get stuff done as I am, even if we don't say it. We want to have everything figured out, to create something wonderful, with the final shape feeling like "the end" of destiny as we know it and all. So this is me calling out to whoever might be listening; be nicer to yourself.
You have all the time in the world to create that animation, paint that painting, write that story. Just because final shape is "an ending," doesn't mean you can't still work on and have fun with the story beats you have in mind prior to Final Shape. No ones gunna call it silly, were all equally starved for content here. And who knows, once we all know how final shape ends, it might inspire you and help your story flow together better.
I'll try my best to tag my posts relating to Vienna and her fireteam with time stamps from now on, as I tend to jump all over the place and it could get really confusing really fast. The TLDR of it all;
Don't feel guilty about unfinished projects. Final shape isn't the end, dont let it be, and dont feel confined to just creating content relating to post final shape.
That's all! I appreciate you reading if you got this far, and im excited to see the amazing things the Destiny corner of tumblr will come up with next.
See you starside! ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ
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wishing-stones · 9 months
Text
Updates
Apologies for the lack of updates on any R&R content lately, the brain does not want to do it LMAO
Instead, I've started work on another multi-chapter fic: Ready Aim Fire (With... punctuation in the title pending)
This would be the Star Sanses x Paintball Reader fic. I've gotten a few chapters written, but unlike R&R, RAF has a beta. Should help with continuity errors and the like. I won't be posting any of it until it's been gone over.
I'm not abandoning R&R, but I'm having difficulty getting started on the content I want to write for it. Nothing good comes out of what gets forced, so I'm directing my creative energies elsewhere.
Additionally, my workstation has been moved. I do the vast majority (98% or better) of my writing at work because the lulls in responsibilities and tasks are often wide and boring. Without real consultation, my station was moved out into the open a little more (where I previously sat in a corner specialized for my job) with the manager occasionally sitting over my shoulder.
Feeling like I'm being babysat does not help my creativity in the slightest, and I feel like I have to kind of... hunch over to be able to write anything without someone reading over my shoulder. Even writing the most innocuous of things, I haaatteee people reading over my shoulder. It's already happened once at this job (I was editing a site page at the time) and I really don't want it to happen again.
Fortunately, the manager both isn't here very often, and doesn't like the setup. I'm hoping this is a very temporary thing. My back is also to the office printer, so I have a pretty steady stream of people behind my desk a lot. That isn't new, but it's more difficult to handle now than it was before.
Also contributing to my lack of ability to make anything is the somewhat unfortunate complete-attention-grab of Baldur's Gate 3, since my partner and I got it on our PS5 to play couch co-op. BG3 has my brain in a chokehold LMAO. I'm trying to evenly split hyperfixation between my projects and the new fandom/special interest, but BG3 is winning that LOL
Also, the domesticity of the first half of RAF is not as exciting for me to write. I'm struggling through a chapter because there's nothing really going on. Still have to make it engaging without dragging ass, so I've rewritten six paragraphs already. I also have to work with a couple of characters I'm not as practiced in writing, and I'm trying to do that well. (Neither of whom were in R&R, for the record.)
I've seen a couple of things for R&R floating around in the wild (ie, not shown directly to me; either I saw it in passing, or friends showed it to me) and it's absolutely mind-boggling that my work is as inspiring as it is, and that people talk about me without talking to me. It almost doesn't feel real. Thank you guys.
Speaking of R&R, I haven't done a proper promotion for this, and it's a crime:
If you enjoyed R&R, especially from a character interaction standpoint, you will absolutely love Rubble&Ramparts by Hiddenshadowwolf on Ao3
Here's a link
The story's premise is: what if the events of Chapter 20 didn't go so smoothly? If everyone got injured in the fight, not just Ren and Dust. What would happen if Baggs was in over his head trying to make sure everyone survives? The answer is to accost a nurse from a very mundane AU to help out, but... there's more to her than meets the eye.
Ru&Ra follows Alexis, a nurse, as she navigates the prickly personalities of Nightmare's crew, discovers and learns about magic, and becomes entangled in the complex web of events that follow xGaster's attack.
Every new chapter is a wonderful treat and an absolute goldmine of characterization and study. You can feel the love and effort put into it.
If you're over there chewing the walls waiting for content from me, go read this, it'll scratch the itch very effectively.
For now, I'll happily take continued questions about the fics, the casts, and the characters. You can ask about RAF, but some things might get a very vague answer if they're spoilery.
Thanks guys!
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crimsonedquill · 1 year
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hello darling i hope you are well! i was hit with this idea at 3am and I have been restless since <3
so i was thinking of an imagine with Sebastian x gn!MC, the house can be your choice I'm not picky, where they're dating and MC loves herbology so they spend a lot of time in the greenhouse, one day they take seb to the greenhouse to show him a rose bed they're been growing without the use of magic and they're very proud of it. only to discover that it's been destroyed by some twats and MC is absolutely heartbroken about it to which Sebastian comforts them, just lots of comfort and even some fluffy smut if you'd like <3
Green Fingers (Sebastian Sallow x gn!Hufflepuff MC)
WARNING: Light fluffy smut, 18+.
I was already getting teary-eyed just reading this prompt ngl :')
Decided to get a little experimental with this as I'm trying out new formats. Really happy with how it turned out tbh! Also, MC is a Muggle-born for the sake of plot.
Thank you for the ask 🖤
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MC can barely contain their excitement as they drag Sebastian down to the greenhouse. This little project had consumed their attention for months, and finally, the day has arrived to unveil the fruits of their labour to their boyfriend.
“Bloody Hufflepuffs and their manic energy,” Sebastian mutters under his breath as he tries to match their stride. They have been together for a while, but he still struggles to keep up with them sometimes. Which isn’t to say that he doesn’t enjoy it. Especially moments like these, when it seems like nothing could spoil the radiant smile adorning their pretty face, make him feel lucky to be with them.
MC is bubbling over with a mix of excitement and anxiety. They’ve poured everything of themselves into this, which rings even more true on account of them not having employed any magical means. It’s a personal point of pride; they have inherited their green fingers from their Muggle parents, who taught them everything on their little farm growing up. In a way, MC realises, their surprise will be a tribute to their love as well.
They notice something is wrong when they arrive and notice the door of the greenhouse is unlocked. Sebastian feels a knot in his stomach upon seeing the look of concern on MC’s face. “Are you sure you locked it when you left?” Yes, they tell him; Professor Garlick insisted they paid close attention to it when she gave them special permission to use the greenhouse.
MC goes in first, not able to ignore the thickening sense of dread. Sebastian follows close behind. He’s wishing there’s something he could say, something to make that smile return. Perhaps it’s just a joke? He’s fairly certain he’s seen that bumbling Prewett skulking about the castle grounds lately –
He bumps into MC when they stop right in their tracks. They don’t say a word. They’re just looking at the scene of utter destruction in front of them. The roses they had spent months growing and watering… all ripped out and trampled over. The soil they had cultivated to the most minute detail… scorched. Even all of their garden equipment was smashed to pieces.
MC sinks to their knees and picks up the remains of one of the flowers. It’s only then that they notice the word someone had chalked on the floor: MUDBLOOD.
Sebastian is furious at first. So help him God if he finds the pathetic excuse for a human being behind this vile, cowardly act – The rage is palpable in his chest, like hot lead. It’s the same kind of anger he feels over what happened to his sister Anne.
But then he hears a sound that makes his heart shatter. It’s MC, quietly sobbing. They hadn’t meant to, not in front of Sebastian, but it’s just too much. All of their work, the surprise for their boyfriend, the tribute to their parents – gone. It feels like their heart has been ripped out of their chest and stomped on.
He kneels next to them and just holds them at first. No talking yet, just softly rubbing their shoulders and whispering soothing words in their ear to calm them down. He doesn’t mind if they just want to sit there and cry until they’ve got no tears left; whatever makes them feel better.
Eventually, MC wipes their eyes with their sleeve and sits quietly in his arms, their knees pulled up to their chest. Sebastian looks at the destroyed tools. “Did you grow all this for me… by hand?”
MC nods. They’ll tell him about their parents, even though that just makes them feel sadder in the end. They’ve let them down. The tears start flowing again, streaking their cheeks.
“Hey, hey.” He cups their face in his hands, looking them in the eye. “This isn’t your fault. You’re absolutely wonderful and I love you for it. No one else has ever gone to these lengths to surprise me.”
MC looks at him through their tears. How could they say that? Everything they could have given them is gone… Sebastian smiles at them. “But it’s not. Knowing that you put in all this effort to make something for me, the love and care you poured into this, all of that stands as a testament to how much you care about me. They’ll never be able to take that away.”
MC sniffles, but they’re not crying anymore. They lean into his embrace, enjoying the warm comfort of his arms. “You always know what to say to cheer me up, don’t you?”
Sebastian chuckles. “I like to consider it a talent.” He starts placing soft kisses on their head, moving from the top to their cheek. He brushes away a few strands of hair and lifts their chin to have a better look at them. They’re so beautiful. MC’s eyes linger on his lips, their heart beating fast in their chest.
“Sebastian…” they whisper, and that’s all the encouragement he needs. He leans forward, catching their lips with his own, finding his reward in a lovely sigh flowing from their mouth. He savours this part of their relationship. It’s the closest he gets to being able to take away their pain and sadness, something he’s never been able to do with Anne.
He goes slowly, allowing MC to set the pace, but it’s clear they want more. There is fervour in the way their tongue slips through to meet his, the way their sighing gradually swells to the volume of a soft moan.
Eventually, MC pulls back. “Sebastian, would you…” Their breath hitches; their request lost in hesitation. It’s all right, they don’t need to ask. His fingers begin to wander, feeling the delightful curves of their delicate frame. He kisses their neck, loving how they practically melt into his touch, how they close their eyes as they whimper softly.
Once his hand finds its way into their undergarments and they finally feel him in the place where they need him the most, it’s as if time stops. They cry out his name as he handles them with the love and respect they deserve, fully intent on leaving them in a hot mess by the time he’s done.
He takes a momentary respite from suckling on the skin of their neck to gently coo in their ear. “You deserve to be loved, my dear. I want to love you, to care for you, to make you the happiest person in the world. But right now, I need you to do something for me.”
MC is breathing heavily. The touch of his hands on their body is almost too much. They shudder as they feel his words in a hot whisper: “I need you to come for me.”
That’s it. Their orgasm washes over them like a wave, their back coming off the wall as their head cranes back, a loud moan escaping their lips. Sebastian doesn’t stop, working them through their climax until they collapse against him, all sweaty and tired. He’ll hold them for a while, keeping them in the safety of his arms as they recover from their high.
After a while, he notices something lying in front of his feet. He reaches out and picks it up. It’s a beautiful red rose, its velvety petals and delicate scent seemingly imbued with the very essence of MC’s love and passion.
“Hey, look…” He holds the flower in front of MC. They take it and turn it around in their fingers before holding it close to their chest, letting out a soft chuckle. “What is it, my love?” Sebastian asks, happy to see them smiling.
“Nothing,” MC replies. “It just occurred to me… that… well, it appears I am not the only one with gifted hands in our relationship.”
Sebastian is momentarily lost for words. Then he simply laughs, and kisses them again.
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notquitedeadpod · 7 months
Text
Today Not Quite Dead turns 365 days old!
A little over a year ago, feeling very disheartened and a little depressed, I decided to take the story about vampires I'd been piddling away with in the background of making Spirit Box Radio and turn it into a single narrator audio drama.
When I did that, I came up with a bunch of anti-rules:
I'd only work on episodes when I felt like it would be fun to do so
I'd make decisions about the story based on what was most emotional to me in the moment, rather than letting myself get stuck in the process of writing something with very restrictive plot goals
If I wasn't asking myself if I'd gone too far at the end of every episode's writing process, I wasn't going far enough
And so, the show was born.
This approach is radically different than pretty much every other writing project I've completed, and that's by design. At the time I started making NQD, I'd faced a pretty big set back with SBR and was struggling to work on it at all. I had a very clear vision for the show which at times made writing it very challenging and restrictive as an experience, and when I was faced with altering that vision, though I'm now convinced it worked out better that way anyway in hindsight, it was really difficult. It made me really rethink my entire approach to working on audio drama.
Writing NQD this radically different way was really good for me. I felt excited and giggly most episodes, and it was the first time I started to feel partially confident about my vocal performances. I noticed it was having a positive impact not just on my relationship with the writing on SBR, but how I felt about its quality overall. By working on something so different that required such a different energy, I came to value SBR more, and by the end of the show's run, I was in love with it the way I was at the beginning.
There's also the fact that I absolutely LOVE vampires. I always have. They're my favourite horror monsters, for reasons which are probably obvious to those of you who have listened to the show. They are almost indistinguishable from humans at a glance, they can live among us undetected, for the most part, but they are NOT human. They're different in importnat and unresolveable ways. As someone who has always struggled to fit in, this has forever resonated with me, and for most of my adult life, I've had an unserious vampire project or two being whittled away at in the background.
There were also some problems with how I wrote season one. NONE of the dates, times or ages lined up properly, and I frequently found I'd written myself into very boring, unfunny plot corners I'd have to spend a lot of time reasoning my way out of, which is no fun at all.
Something interesting, but not really good OR bad, is that LOTS of people found the show felt very trans to them, though none of the characters are transgender in canon. I'd not written the show this way intentionally, but it was very cool to see that other people had found this thematic thread buried in the story.
By the time I got to the end of Season One, I had to admit to myself that despite my best intentions, I had written a show with plot and themes. This was entirely an accident, but I was pretty happy to realise it. I also found that this show, something I'd written primarily for myself, had a real audience. This was a delightful thing to realise. You're all freaks, and I adore that for you, and I hope you're incredibly proud of yourselves, and I mean this entirely seriously. I am a freak too, otherwise I would not be able to write the show at all.
Anyway. We're over halfway through Season Two now, and my approach to the show has changed quite a lot. Though it has remained a project that is predominantly vibes-led, I've also found it exciting to spend some serious time thinking about the show's arcs and future and really indulging in making it As Much As Possible. As you will see over the next several episodes, that is So Much, actually.
On this year's first anniversary of Not Quite Dead, I find myself once again disheartened and depressed, because it's the slow slide into the long nights of winter, and as much as I love the cold and the dark, I struggle with my mental health year-round and this particular change of seasons is the one I feel is the hardest. But I'm also damned proud of this show, and not despite it's silliness, but BECAUSE of it. It's made me a stronger character writer, a better performer, and it's been a disgusting amount of fun.
Here's to another year of this ridiculous show about vampires.
Live. Laugh. Bite.
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