#AKA put characters that hate each other in situations and force them to get along :)

[fure-dcmk]

you dropped a mention of pandora!hakuba au a little while back in the tags… if i may humbly beg you to elaborate, please say more? 🙏🏻🙏🏻

IM SORRY ANON i been keeping this ask in my inbox since january waiting for the moment i got the motivation to break down the entire AU. well that didn't happen so please accept this comic instead 😭

To summarize the concept Hakuba found a gem in his basement, feeling curious he decides to mimic KID's behavior where he checks it under the moonlight. Suprise! It's actually pandora, and now Hakuba is stuck as a pandora vessel. It's a high stake au where pandora needs to leech the lifeforce of a host to activate its ability. So Hakuba himself isn't immortal, but anyone who consume a certain volume of Hakuba's tears can reach immortality. Hakuba got 1-2 years left to live before he withers and dies. Kaito of course can't accept this and thus tasks himself with the impossible task of extracting the pandora from Hakuba which require an annoying ritual that need him to steal a bunch of different artifact.

[i-mybrunettelady]

question that came up bc of the fic talk: where do your other char's perceptions of nyra differ drastically / what biases and preconceptions affect their view of her and her actions? what do you always keep in mind when writing her from a different pov, so that despite their different opinions, her 'nyra-ness' still shines through easily?

(i know this is a lot for all of your ocs so feel free to cherry pick, i just love the way you make different narrations work and unique character voices are one of your big strengths in writing imo <3 and nyra's just such an interesting character for different view points bc she has such a big commanding divisive personality!)

(also bonus: same questions for cass if you want?)

BRO THIS MADE ME SMILE SO FUCKING WIDE THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU LIKE SEROTONIN GO BRRRR

Like you made my evening ;;;;;

But to actually answer the question! As is to be expected, not everyone likes her. I take extra care to not go 'oh charismatic lady whomst is universally adored' because I find that approach to be limiting in a lot of ways. I like to read/write character driven stories, so it's actually good if not everyone likes each other. Please don't all like each other.

So here's a little choice that I will exclude Siona, Ren, Sanne and Liv from - Siona because she genuinely doesn't have a concrete opinion of Nyra beyond the fact she's a good commander and ally to the sylvari as Trahearne's girlfriend, Ren because we see it in fic and because she rejects preconceived notions as much as she can, Sanne and Liv because I need to refine those (aka write more about her from their pov.)

El - He obviously dislikes her. They're the two sides of the same coin in a lot of ways, they're too similar to get along, and they're equals in a lot of regards as well. But things really went to shit when she killed Trahearne, which he can't forgive her for, and he faulted her for his grief for a long, long time (he did try to kill her in Maguuma. He would've tried to kill her if she came to see him when he was trying to resurrect him.) And in true El fashion, if he hates you, nothing you do can ever really be good - or if you do one (1) thing right, he won't ever tell you. They're on marginally better terms now, not really at each other's throats, but not really friends either. They can work together at least and there's a lot of spark that can easily turn into a housefire between them still but they're getting better at it.

Mirka - She met Nyra back when she was an adventurer and the two had a brief fwb situation. She saw the instinct to chase her legend, to put it in norn terms, in Nyra from the get-go and envied her for it; it was what Mirka herself forced herself to like because all norn do it, until she had Kov and settled in her homestead. I really think she was kinda jealous of Nyra for that, but she didn't have it in her to actually dislike her for it. No, she fell for the charisma, but wasn't as easily swayed because she too is a strong presence, only less explosive and more stable. It was this understanding that makes her have a hella lot of respect for Nyra; she's successful at something Mirka herself tried to do and failed and she doesn't have an ego to be butthurt over it. She's gotta respect that.

But what I always keep in mind when writing about her from another beeb's pov - Nyra will always, always take center stage. You can't miss her; she will try, by virtue of being herself, to dominate the scene. Some kids match/fight her on it - Ceasefire comes to mind for it, as we're talking Nyra and El there; some go take it in stride - this Mirka and Nyra fic comes to mind (which is funny bc this is not a fic centered on her, she just opened her mouth and took up the first portion of the thing.) That's her ego working, for better or for worse.

And she absolutely is a divisive figure. She's the type of person you are most likely to have strong opinions on. Ruby and I recently theorised she has Leo somewhere in her chart.

But also. Nyra, Cass and El make up my 'big personality' triumvirate so here is....

Cassposting on main

I'll be more vague here than I was with Nyra as my extended verse is still a WIP. But I have written a few fics where he is perceived. Firstly, my joke that he's every rare gene in one man absolutely stays. He's someone you can't really miss in a crowd. But what surprised me was how a lot of the time, he doesn't strike you visually first; he's loud, and you first hear him then you see him, if that makes sense?

He spent a lot of his childhood and teen years hiding so now he takes up space, a lot of it, even if his self-esteem doesn't let him see it for what it is a lot of the time. There's a certain discord between how he perceives himself and how he's seen by other people. He has deep insecurities, sure, but I wouldn't say he's faking confidence to cover them up either? His cover is sarcasm, refusing to take things seriously and verbal aggression/conflict, not confidence, which is genuine.

(You could say he's his mother's son there in a way as well.)

As to preconceptions, it's a bit of a complicated issue given the reputation Wayfarers have, and he's a proud Wayfarer. He's also generally a bastard, so that gives people an idea of him that negates his gentler, kinder side. Because he is capable of great kindness and loves deeply, he loves taking care of people, he's very protective over them, very affectionate and considerate, and a lot of people don't get to see this bc he has a hard time trusting people and because he behaves like an absolute asshole 80% of the time.

I have spoken a bit about the Red Wayfarer persona before, but this is exactly what this is. A persona, part of him but not the entirety of him, something he constructed to as a defense mechanism, even if it can be harmful to himself.

He's genuinely funny and entertaining, though, so that one stays.

As to what I keep in mind when writing him from others' pov, one thing I always keep in mind is that 1) he will talk, and 2) that he will say random shit. I mean talk a lot. He likes the sound of his voice too much. And the randomness of what he says is just you not expecting him to say it in this particular moment.

It's things like this:

“Turns out he also hates Wayfarers on principle so he got cursed water from a Wayfarer’s gods-damned hair fall down from the sky right on his small fucking head. Woooosh. He’s angry about it, of course, but he can choke on a crab for all I care. I’m having fun.”

I swear that line took me out when I was writing it. Writing him is a lot of fun actually. He also tends to speak in hyperbole a lot, so that's part of the fun.

[captainninej]

Lmao I just found out that SJM's parents are a court judge and a lawyer and she grew up in NY's Upper West Side (aka richie rich type of neighborhood). No wonder she sucks at writing characters who deal with poverty and discrimination and institutional issues 🤷🏽‍♀️ she's also an only child which explains Feyrug and Alien behaving like the whole universe revolves around them 🤦🏽‍♀️

welp. that explains a lot

i don't want to say people from privileged backgrounds can't write characters from other backgrounds at all, but it definitely requires a level of care and attention to detail to make it realistic and to stop your own privilege leaking into your writing as much as you can. you need to research, you need to empathise, and you need to remember that you will likely never be able to capture the true essence of the experiences you are trying to write.

sjm does none of this. she tries so hard to be revolutionary but it falls so flat because she doesn't even try to develop any sort of understanding of institutional issues. she would rather use them as window dressing, case in point: using breonna taylor to promote ACOSF OF ALL THINGS. Y U C K. she gives very white-woman-trying-to-be-woke-to-prove-she's-not-a-racist energy. but her bigotry is so OBVIOUS in her writing it's fuckin painful to read.

again, she can't control her lack of siblings but BY GOD don't try to depict a complex sibling dynamic if!! you have no idea!! how it works!! NO SIBLING would tolerate how rhysand treated feyre's own sister, and no older sibling would let their youngest go out into the woods every day. you could grow up in the most divisive, broken family and there's still an unbreakable bond between siblings. you may disagree, you may hurt each other, you may not talk every day or get along. but you will never seek to destroy your sibling's life or put them in danger.

i'm a middle sibling in a house of three girls. my older sister and i talk a lot about how fucked up the relationship between the archeron sisters is (she's only read acotar and that was enough for her). reading these siblings is PAINFUL. my older sister and i would never send our youngest to hunt for us. i would never hope for my sisters to starve?? i would never let a MAN control my sister's life and destroy her apartment, or force her to hang out with my friends who HATE her. i wouldn't even tolerate anyone being rude to my sister.

my friend is an only child, and she's sometimes really confused at the dynamic between me and my sisters. how one day i'll be ranting about one and the next i'll tell her how we did something funny together. and that's okay!! it's not like she has any experience with siblings. but she's also not oblivious enough to go on to write an entire SERIES about siblings, about something she doesn't understand and likely never will.

honestly, from what i remember even aelin's relationship with aedion is more realistic than whatever the fuck is going on between the archeron sisters. at least their love for each other was never in question. they disagreed, but aelin and aedion would fight tooth and nail for each other. the archeron sisters? if rhysand asked, at this point feyre has already forced nesta into countless uncomfortable situations and pulled her life from underneath her. she's trapped her in a house with a man she's uncomfortable with, she DESTROYED HER APARTMENT, told her she's an embarrassment for having PTSD (which feyre herself has suffered) and then offered her up as a prize to eris, a known abuser. she may care about nesta, but she doesn't love her.

im so sorry i went off on a rant LMAO i have a lot of feelings about the sibling dynamic hahah

[an-ambivalent]

WARNING: This post contains yandere and violent themes (mentions of murder and brainwashing) and other toxic and creepy behaviours that can be triggering and uncomfortable to read. So read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional. I do not condone this toxic behaviour irl. 

Fandom: Naruto 

Pairings: Itachi x Reader | Shisui x Reader | Sasuke x Reader

Status: Headcanons and scenarios mixed hybrid, requested. 

Ask:  Scenario where Yandere!Itachi, Yandere!Shisui, Yandere!Sasuke and Yandere!Obito realizes that they all have feelings for you and since they're family, they decided that they are going to share.

A/N:   I’m didn’t add Obito to this scenario because I don’t see this dynamic working with him in the mix. Although Obito is an Uchiha, frankly speaking, Itachi didn’t ever trust him. Sasuke used him for his own means didn’t care about him other than that either way. As far as Shisui is concerned, he never really interacted with Obito. 

Itachi and Shisui are best friends, and Itachi and Sasuke are siblings (who do care for each other). Sasuke is stubborn about his own ideals but he can still be persuaded by Itachi, and given that Itachi and the Uchiha clan respected Shisui a lot, Sasuke would do too. So, a dynamic with these three choosing to co-operate is plausible. But with Obito.... not really. I just don’t see how he would fit in this scenario.  So, hopefully this explanation clarifies why Obito wasn’t added to the scenario.

No beta, we die like men. I wrote this at like 2 am so idgaf about grammar errors atm ^.< 

Your background: To be in a position where you can interact with all these three simultaneously, you would have to be part of the Uchiha clan yourself. The only other way might be that you’re Itachi’s classmate and progressed exactly like he did. But then, it just feels like copying and pasting Itachi’s character and that’s no fun.

No ‘duplicate version of another character’ in this household. So there’s two choices for your background that can nonetheless lead to the same scenario. Thus, you can choose whatever floats your boat: 1) you’re the first daughter of the main branch of another clan of your choice, and for some time now, your clan and the Uchiha clan have been planning to form an alliance together. What better way to do that than to arrange a marriage between the two first children of the main branch from both clans that “coincidentally” have to be the same age?

2) You’re an Uchiha child, born to parents who are from one of the side branches of the clan. There isn’t many other kids to interact with, and despite being a side branch member, your father is one of the most respected shinobi in the clan. So, your future as a ninja is given, and with his interactions and meetings  with Fugaku, he takes you along with him. As a result, your introduction with Itachi is inevitable. And so by extension, you will also meet Shisui and Sasuke. And given your father’s good relationship with Fugaku, mayhaps your parents went ahead and arranged your marriage with Itachi behind your back and not notifying you yet.

PSA: For the age balance, you are Itachi’s age in this scenario. Shisui is 2-4 years older than Itachi and Itachi is 4 years older than Sasuke. Having a maximum of 8 years age gap if you were Sasuke’s age, or Shisui’s age, would be a lot LOL. Besides, Itachi would be the mediator between Sasuke and Shisui, so you building a relationship with him first makes the most sense.

Introduction / Meeting

Itachi

You and Itachi are forced to spend time together as ‘playmates’ while your parents discuss ‘official business’ (the arrange marriage) with Fugaku and Mikoto. Itachi is overly polite but there’s an icy coldness underlining his polite greetings and one-word answers he gives to your questions when you try to start a conversation.

You aren’t dumb. You were raised with high expectations placed on your shoulders so although you’re not a prodigy at his level, you have more than enough intelligence to know that he’s patronizing you. And unlike him, you aren’t an immature coward who hides behind their passive-aggressive remarks. Whatever you have to say, you communicate it bluntly. So, you don’t hesitate to spew out what you really think of him (a coward who takes his frustrations out on others aka you, who is also in the same situation, instead of facing his problems), and leave his pretty boy face behind in shock.

You were five when this happened.

Sasuke: Overtime, your ‘playdates’ with Itachi became a norm. You were forced to visit him many times and spend time with him given that he is your future husband. (You don’t know that yet, but at this point, Itachi has his suspicions that something is up).

His baby brother is his entire life. Sasuke makes him smile in the way no one else does, so its no wonder you met him eventually.

You were first held Sasuke was he was about fourteen months old. He was a small, chubby, innocent little thing with his already haughty attitude. He had no problem crying in the arms of the people he didn’t like, which was almost everyone outside of his immediate family. But when you held him, despite Itachi’s warnings that “he doesn’t like everyone” but he instantly liked you (much to his displeasure), you instantly became attached to him. Then in the following years, you babysat him a lot. He was the cute little younger sibling you wanted but never had, so you spoiled him to bits. And with the attention and love you gave him, Sasuke loved you too. Not to mention, unlike everyone else in his family, who picked Itachi over him, you picked him over Itachi.

How can he not fall in love with you?

Shisui: More often than not these days, Shisui would silently watch and observe Itachi. For a six years old, it was terrifying for him how he was already adapting to the shinobi lifestyle is so easily; being an emotionless robot and extremely talented.

But, over the past few days, gone were the seemingly emotionless robot. Instead, he had changed into a boy who acted like how a six year old was supposed to act: whiny, pouty, and frustrated (to an extent), but happy at the same time. It was entertaining for him to watch Itachi’s expressions shift from one to another every moment as he grumbled about you underneath his breath. Shisui was ready to tease him about it, but you had beat him to it.

You had appeared out of nowhere and were hosting the two-years-old Sasuke on your shoulders for a piggy back ride. No one was given any time to react, before rude remarks were slipping out your lips that just humiliated his precious friend into a fumbling mess.

Itachi had tried to get back at you, he really did. But your mouth ran like a sailor and you had a witty remark prepared for everything. It was such a contrast to the “perfect princess” show you put on before your and his parents. And each time, your response was more embarrassing which eventually made him lose his cool. Seeing him flustered, despite how much he loved you, little Sasuke tried to  jump to his nii-san’s aid. Shisui was prepared to snicker and chuckle to himself, if he it wasn’t for the most beautiful sound he had ever heard: your laughter. It was so raw, pure, genuine and innocent, he was instantly immersed. Barely anyone from shinobi clans, and given how they were raised, acted so open. And you brought out a different side to Itachi -- it was intriguing for him to witness.

He wanted to get to know you more. He wanted to hear your life more. He wanted you to share your secrets with him on how to bully Itachi so easily. So immediately, he put out his hand and gave you a wide grin.

“I’m Shisui. What’s your name?”

Realising their feelings

Shisui: Shisui knew he loved you ever since your first laugh. It was love at first sound. However, with the respect to you belonging to his best friend, he would never make a move on you.

Maybe, there might be some lingering touches here and there that lasted a bit too long between ‘friends.’ Maybe sometimes he was harsher on you during your training spars so he would have an excuse to touch you and help you bandage up your injuries. Maybe sometimes, he ‘jokingly’ wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your cheek to ‘get a rise out of Itachi’ and not because he wanted to touch you.

But he never made a move on you because he knew you were Itachi’s. And as long as you were still his friend and spent time with him, he didn’t care too much.

But he should’ve known better. Just as how he can understand Itachi and cares for him like he is his brother, Itachi is the same towards Shisui. He knew how Shisui felt about you, and although one part of him just wanted to you have all to himself, it didn’t feel right that Shisui had to hold himself back when he needed you too. If only, it wasn’t for your clan, and the Uchiha, and their damn village that believed in monogamous relationships, then he would happily share you with Shisui.

Itachi: There were many rules and obligations Itachi has to adhere to due to his clan. Although he did them, he didn’t want to. He hated it. His thoughts were different from his actions so he was constantly experiencing cognitive dissonance. But, you weren’t part of that. For some reason, when he was eleven and his suspicions were confirmed by his parents and the clan elders that you were set up to wed him when you both turn thirteen, that was one thing he didn’t hate or didn’t want to do. In fact, it was alarming for everyone in the meeting how easily he obliged.

Confirming how he felt towards you, it honestly did not surprise him. He had assumed this was the case for a while. Ever since you called him a coward due to his habit of upholding a facade, he tried to be more honest. Not in front of his clan, evidently, but to the people that mattered. Shisui, Sasuke, you, and himself.

The old Itachi, had he not met you and fell in love with someone, would have buried his feelings without a care. But for you.... it was a different story. He acknowledged his feelings and never tried to get rid off them. How could he? You were the perfect lover for him. You got along swimmingly with Shisui. You took good care of Sasuke, and his younger brother was so attached to you. You were an exceptional kunoichi, put up the perfect facade before your own parents and his, and weren’t afraid to challenge him and speak your mind.

And best of all? You were already promised to him. So, he saw no reason to bury his feelings for you.

Sasuke: Sasuke always knew he loved you.

Ever since he can remember, you had always been by his side no matter what.

His father didn’t pay attention to him. His mother did, but she scolded him too when he just wanted to spend time with Itachi.

Itachi spent time with him but lately, he has been ignoring him. It’s not the same. And him and Shisui always leave him behind to get things done that they say he’s “not mature enough to know.”

But Sasuke does know.

He knows what they talk about his and your back because thinks of those things too. It’s everywhere: princesses, their prince, their love story and happily ever after.

He wants to kiss you to show you how he loves you like the couples in fairy tales. He does. Despite his nerves that are causing fluttering butterflies in his tummy, he builds up the courage to have his first kiss with you.

But you’re faster than him. You just move your head so he kisses your cheek instead, and then laugh out loud before ruffling his hair and telling him, “you’re adorable. But you should save your first kiss for your true love.”

He likes being adorable for you, but why won’t you understand?! You are his first and only love.

There will be a day when you finally understand that.

Sharing You:

ok.... listen.... Uchiha clan massacre (and yours too for scenario A) but both Itachi and Shisui. And although its mission issued by the damn village, that’s not why they’re doing it. It just so happens that its the perfect solution to all their problems because they get rid off the obstacles in their way, and they will have to leave the village. They can take you away far, away from everything, so you only have them left.

Obviously, they will take Sasuke with them too. Except this time, there’s no also hurting and torturing him and enticing him to seek revenge. If anything, when Sasuke is horrified, Itachi tells him the truth. There’s lies as well, but, they would need to brainwash him to some extent so he willingly stays with them. Itachi tells him of how if the clan lived, then he would never get to be with you, or see you again because they were going to hurt you.

“Do you want that foolish little brother? You made big claims to make [Name] yours and protect her, so are you really going to mourn those who were going to take her away from you? She’s my bride, and because I care about you, I will share her. But for that to happen, you need to listen to me and Shisui and not be pathetic as to get in our way.”

Itachi had a way with his words, and it was terrifying how much they could influence Sasuke. And now that they had, and no one else was going to be in the way -- not any clans, the village -- nothing.

It is just going to be you and them for the rest of your life.

[house-of-cakes]

Jamais Vu 

Masterlist || Series Masterlist 

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Chapter 17:  Gimme! Gimme! Gimme

Jungkook x Reader: enemy to lovers AU

Word count: 2164

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of slight bullying

Premise: “There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger… Nothing is ever familiar” – Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

AKA Jungkook goes in search of the girl who got him expelled.

I feel so bad posting late that I wrote a bonus chapter 😅 the extra chapter will be out this weekend.

If you would like to give feedback or be tagged in this story please send me an ask/message 😊

Tagged list: @inspinkyring @betysotelo18 @kardia-apo-marmelada @casspirit0705 @preciouschimine @therealsugababe  @lucedelsole97 @deolly @lexy9716  @thesweetest-peas @sannsia​

Bright flashing lights…catchy retro theme songs…the loud cheers of victory from teenage boys and girls defeating their opponents – these were the ingredients that made up Y/N’s favourite place in the world. While Namjoon found comfort on the stage, she felt most at home under the glowing neon lights of Reload.

A few years ago, Y/N had found the arcade a by chance after she had “run away” from home. She had just had an argument with her mother about her appearance and after countless moments of nagging and insults she had finally snapped and left home without permission…it was her first act of rebellion.  

Y/N’s mother was fixated on looks and how a “lady” should behave and present themselves. She always claimed that Y/N she be focusing on her physical imagine instead of having her face hidden behind a computer screen. It killed her mother that her youngest child spent all of her free time working in a place she deemed to be so juvenile. Y/N knew this for a fact and if she was being honest it only added to the appeal of working there. The job didn’t pay much nonetheless she loved it just as much as she did the Magic Shop.

A young boy runs through the arcade and finds Y/N sat on top of an air hockey table (a privilege that only she was allowed). Her attention is focused on her phone, trying to keep tabs on her best friends who are working a job without her. It was not very often that she could not attend an appointment however her elderly boss had caught a cold and there was no one else to cover the busy Friday night shift.

“Noona.” The soft whimper of the young boy catches her attention. “What’s wrong, buddy?” She jumps off the table and kneels so that she is eye level with the child “A-an older-r b-boy…” his words are choppy as his small body shakes with sobs “Stole my game.” “That wasn’t very nice of him. Can you point him out so Noona can have a chat with him.” The little boy continues to whimper but with some comforting words of reassurance and 5 free game tokens, she is able to convince him to point in the direction of the most popular first-person shooter game towards the back of the arcade.

“Thank buddy, that was very brave of you. I promise you in 10 minutes the game will be free for you to play.” She wipes the last of his tears and ruffles his hair for good measure “Come find me soon, ok?” The boy sniffling boy nods as Y/N quickly makes her way to the other side of the room.

At the game Y/N stands off to the side of the machine and pauses to analyse the teenage boy and his skill. The teen would get easily flustered each time a surge of villains would rush after his character and he would frequently let out a string of cuss words whenever he missed his mark, he was an amateur and it showed.

Suddenly his life bar at the top right of he screen started flashing, indicating that his game would soon end if he was not careful with his energy. This must have been enough motivation for him to focus better because his kill streak went from 3 to 9 in almost an instance.  A wicked plan formed in Y/N’s head as she he went in for the last shot of the level.

“Hey!” she called out to him causing him to flinch and miss his target. This caused a fatal error as the enemy on screen took the opportunity to shoot his character right in the face. The teen let out a sound of frustration as the screen read ‘Game Over’ in giant letters and request more tokens to continue. Y/N waited for him to insert the coins before making her presence known in front of him.

“You stupid bitch! You made me lose my game.” He grumbled and lift his gun to continue playing. Y/N reached over to the power point behind the game and switched it off.

“Get the fuck out of my arcade.” She spat and point towards the exit “Reload has a strict no bullying policy so don’t think for a second you’re getting a refund on those tokens.” The teen didn’t bother arguing, he has realised his mistake when he figured out who she was and walked away looking rather embarrassed he had been called out in front of everyone on a busy Friday night. He was sure his class mates would all be talking about it come Monday morning.

The screen of the machine flickered back to life as Y/N switched the power back on, she waited to make sure that the unexpected reboot did not affect the game. The download bar reached the end of the bar and loaded the high score screen. She read over the listed and frowned when she got to a name that had been annoying her lately – Nochu.

This Nochu person had climb two positions high on the leader board since the last time she had checked this game and the achievement displeased her. That name was popping up on the leader boards of many games recently and while she did not feel her abilities were being threatened, she was annoyed that she could not put a face to this person.

Hours later back at the Kim residence, the two cousins enjoy the cooling weather on their porch as Jin attempts to tune his guitar by ear.

“The Basement wasn’t closed tonight.” Jungkook states when he scrolls through his Instagram feed and comes across a new post by the club “I never said it was.” Jin pays no attention to his cousin, instead he fiddles with the knobs at the head of guitar and plucks at a string once he believes he’s tightened the key enough. The sound rings out and the pitch is too high. “So why did we go to Reload instead?” Jin repeats the process with the chord again, the pitch is closer to where its supposed to be however the sound is still off. “None of the guys had a battle or a performance tonight.” He explained as he plucked at the string again and again, trying to pin point why it sounded wrong “And Y/N had to work, so we decided to hang with her instead.” “So we went for Y/N?” Jungkook tone was accusatory “No one forced you to tag along.” Jin fired back, he had stopped trying to tune the guitar to face him “She’s always supports the guys at the Basement, sometimes we repay the favour by making an appearance there to help drum up business.” Jungkook scoffed “You told me Reload was popular because she attracts people with her skills…if that’s the case why would she need you guys?” “She doesn’t need us at all.” Jin moved his guitar from his lap and lent it against his seat. He was frustrated with it and this conversation was adding to the stress.  “That’s the thing about having a good relationship with people…you do things to support them, even when they don’t ask.” “Oh yeah? If she’s so good why is she only ranked second on all the high scores.” Jin rolled his eyes at his cousin, he was being petty again and completely missed the point he was trying to make. “Mr S.K?” Jungkook nodded in confirmation.

Jungkook was becoming a regular at Reload and it was evident to him that Mr S.K was clearly the real champion of the joint. The guy had dominated every game of the arcade by holding highest score and while Y/N’s name always sat below his, her score was always miles away from meeting his. To Jungkook this was clearly another instance of Y/N receiving praise and adoration where it was not merited… it was Mr S.K who deserved to celebrated and yet it was Y/N who stole his popularity. If he had to come up with an explanation as to how this occurred, he would bet all his money it was because Y/N was considered to be “beautiful”.

“Mr S.K has held the top for as long as anyone can remember. There’s no mystery to who he is…He’s obviously the owner of the arcade.”  Jin windshield wiper boomed out and filled the stillness of the night as his cousin’s face fell. 

Jungkook pondered on the last few weeks, there was so much background information he didn’t know and for some reason his brain chose to fill in the gaps by somehow hating on Y/N.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car blaring loud music as it sped up and down the street.

“What the fuck is going?!” Jungkook exclaimed as he stood from his seat and made his way to the top of the porch stairs to get a better look at car. “Ah my Angel is home!” Jin jumped up and went to stand next to Jungkook. “Does she always carry on like this? She drives like a dipshit.” “Nah, that’s not even her driving. You see a while back she got caught at the illegal races, her parents made her sell her car as punishment... She must have gotten into a fight with her mother, this is how she always gets back her.”  

The car finally stopped doing laps down the street and pulled up into Y/N’s drive away. The pair watched as Y/N jumped out of the passenger side of the car and wave to the driver as they pulled away from the house. She was still unaware that she was being watched by them

“Hey Brat!” Jin called out, capturing her attention “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not take rides from strangers?”

Jungkook’s breathe hitched at the thought of Y/N allowing herself to be in a car with a stranger, especially someone who drove like a lunatic. He didn’t catch a glimpse of the driver but surely, she wasn’t reckless enough to put herself in such a dangerous situation…was she?

“She did, that’s what make’s it all the better.” Y/N bantered on smugly, Jungkook couldn’t figure out if she was joking or not. “Well it’s past your bed time young lady, you march right on inside and get right to bed.”  Y/N let out a sound of fake indignation and clutch her hand to her check overdramatically. “To think I raced all the way here with a surprise and this is how you treat me? You really are such a punk!” “A surprise?!” Jin’s eyebrows shot up in excitement, the façade dropped immediately. Everyone knew she gave the best surprises. “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” he demanded and waved her over to them. Y/N laughed at his eagerness and rummaged through her bag as she closed the distance between them.

“Sorry I didn’t have time to wrap it.” She purposely handed him a grey game cartridge face down so there was some kind of element of surprise to the gift. His eyes widen comically when he turned it over and read the title of the game. “Y/N…is this…??” For the first time in Jungkook’s life he had seen his loud mouth cousin speechless. “Yah! Don’t make a big deal of it.” She tried to brush it off “Consider it an extremely late birthday gift.” “Not a big deal? This is the original Super Mario Bros 3! I played this game every day as a kid then this idiot blew it up somehow.” He nodded his head in Jungkook’s direction who rolled his eyes in response.

The incident happened years ago and he still hadn’t heard the end of it, he pretended like it didn’t bother him but deep down he felt so bad for accidentally destroying something his cousin held so dear to him.

“I’ve been trying to find it ever since! This must have cost you a fortune.” “Like I said…it’s no big deal. I was cleaning out storage at work and found it packed away, we never got round to fixing game console for it so the boss-man was nice enough to let me have it.”

That was a bold-faced lie.

Y/N had known about the sentimental significance this game had to Jin and went in search for it many months before his birthday. She only managed to get the game after she traded a set of mint condition baseball cards, she had acquired as collateral when a client fell through their end of a deal.

“Y/NIEEE this is why you’re my angel! Thank you so much.” He pulled her towards him and wrapped her up in a big bear hug. Jungkook felt out of place as he watched Y/N shriek and attempt to struggle out of his grip as he showered her with love…he could help but feel jealous of the fact that she could fix a mistake that he had made so long ago.

[bakuwhoabro]

The Owl House Introspective | Zodiac Signs

hello hello. so it seems there aren’t any canon birthdays for the characters (yet). and me being me, i love to know character’s astrology signs because it’s a passion of mine! and i’ve more than enough time on my hands, so let’s take a deep dive into what the character’s signs could be!

*this is just my opinion based on my knowledge of astrology and how i interpret the signs. i’d love to hear what you think, if you agree or disagree!

Luz Noceda

Luz Luz Luz. Okay. So I’m not great at doing summaries for characters, BUT it’s easy to see that she can be very short tempered and act before thinking. She comes off as very social and easily gets along with everyone she meets. She’s high energy and seemingly is always on the go. But that’s just on the surface. At her core, she is very family oriented. She can be very emotional and I feel that family really drives her to make the decisions she does. She would do anything for anyone she cares for. She is most definitely creative and imaginative. And at her worst, she’s pessimistic and moody. And with that being said, Luz is a

Cancer Sun, Aries Rising.

(Possibly Libra Moon but I was too lazy to think that deep into it right now.)

I saw both of these results when trying to find her sign, and I think this works out so well. When we first meet her, she resembles an Aries. Loud and outspoken. A little firecracker ready to stand up for what she believes in. And I think her core (her sun sign) really powers this. As we get to know her, we see a more emotional side to her. As for the Libra moon thing, I took a quiz to get an idea of what signs she may be and Libra was in the top three. And it would make sense. But I’m not entirely sure.

Eda Clawthorne

The wonderful, amazing, perfect, beautiful, awesome, (okay, we get it you love Eda) Eda. She’s hard to figure out. Which is a part of her character so cool deal. She is outgoing and passionate. She adapts very easily to change and maybe even prefers it. She loves adventure and definitely doesn’t like to be forced into a single box. She wants to learn any and everything. She thrives on being able to do her own thing and figure out the world through experience rather than learning by the book. She is humorous and fun to be around. But she can also be impulsive and not really think before she acts. She also doesn’t really consider others when doing so. But despite all of that, she is also very secretive. She hides a lot of herself and rarely opens up emotionally, even though she has a lot of feelings. She hides her emotions often. This is a conflict between her sun sign and rising sign, though her rising tends to hide emotions despite having a surplus of them. With all that being said, Eda is a

Sagittarius Sun, Scorpio Rising.

(Aries moon maybe, I dunno. Aries is somewhere in her chart. Maybe she’s an Aries Mars but I’m not going that deep 😂)

As a fellow Sagittarius, I relate to her a lot in terms of her description I wrote. Sagittarians tend to hide their emotions and insecurities under a facade of optimism and outgoing-ness. They don’t like to dwell on the negative and just want to have fun. They bounce around place to place in search of what fills them with life. Motivation. Knowledge. And with her rising, she can present herself as mysterious. There is a conflict in the show where she doesn’t really open up (aka. Raine.). And since rising signs symbolize the ‘you’ you show to others, this checks out.

King

King!!!! I fucking love this guy. He’s funny. Deadpan kinda humor. So first impressions, he’s very extravagant and loves being the center of attention. He loves control and likes to feel as if he is a leader in all situations. He can be very egotistical. And he definitely has tendencies of pushing people under the bus in order to gain for himself. He has a dark sense of humor and can be violent. There’s a lot under that “me me me” surface though. He can be very dedicated and passionate. He hides his emotions, much like Eda. He doesn’t like the fact that a lot of his past is unknown. He doesn’t like not being in the know. A lot of his character is secretive, not necessarily by choice. That being said, the lovely King is a:

Scorpio Sun, Leo Rising.

(Apparently Sagittarius and Virgo were high up in the rankings for him, so that can be taken into consideration for his moon. Virgo moon maybe. Sagittarius doesn’t really fit his vibe??)

I know a lot of people might see him as a Leo sun, but I think Leo Rising fits him more since that’s what he portrays to others. Think of rising signs as your “outer” self and your sun sign as your “inner” self. That’s very vague and it all depends on your chart as a whole but that makes it a little easier to understand, at least for me. As we get to know King, there is a deep vast of emotions under the surface of his confident and cocky exterior. I think these placements fit him well.

Hooty

Okay. Hm. Love to hate him. Hate to love him. Just as you’re starting to like him, he just- pulls a Hooty. He’s good natured at heart. All he wants is everyone in his life to get along and love each other. And he will stop at nothing to help solve any conflict. It’s almost as if he wants to feel wanted. He’s got a maternal vibe to him too. He is also very emotional, and it annoys me when he goes all “woe is me”. But that’s Hooty. He craves to be accepted just as he accepts everyone else. He cares deeply for his family. So Hooty is a:

Libra Sun, Cancer Rising.

(Virgo moon maybe. Virgo was high up there. Virgo something.)

These placements just make sense with who he is. I personally don’t like cancers for the sole reason that they act like hooty at their worst (and I’ve only met Cancers who were at their worst sadly.) But he’s also so warm hearted and loves to care for others. Libra’s want everything to be equal and for everything to be harmonious. And that’s exactly what Hooty strives for.

Amity Blight

One of the best character development I’ve seen with this one, so far at least I don’t watch a lot of new media. But no, I love her. I’m sure we all do. She’s very cool. At first glance, she is very passionate about her status and goals. She works very hard to keep up the appearance of power and control. She wants to come off as put together. Everything has to go perfectly for her. And it seemingly is, but that’s only a mask. Under all of that is a girl who is overwhelmed with the pressure to be perfect. The pressure of fitting her parent’s expectations, as well as her own. Expectations that are wildly unachievable at the rate she wants. She’s meticulous with her ways. But also shy and reserved. She is picky when it comes to people she opens up to. But when she deems a person worthy of her time, she is more than caring. She pushes herself too hard and she is way to hard on herself. She strives to be the best even if it takes away from her sanity. And with that being said, Amity is a:

Virgo Sun, Capricorn Rising.

(Potential Aquarius Moon because yes.)

If any of you have known a Capricorn, you can’t deny Amity acts like one. She can be rude at first. She is intimidating. She is THE best. She works hard and never stops. But she also is very pessimistic and judges herself hard. I don’t know how to describe it, you’d have to be close with a Capricorn to understand what I mean when I explain them. As for her sun, this is perfect. I don’t understand earth signs very much so I can’t truly describe them to you, but she’s a Virgo. For sure. It’s the vibe they give off.

Conclusion

And that’s that for the main-ish cast! If you’d like me to cover the supporting characters, such as Willow, Gus, Lilith, Raine, Hunter etc- let me know. I probably will. What did you think of my interpretations? I think I got pretty close! Of course, I might be off when their birthdays are ever released, but I like what I decided on. I love love love astrology and diving deep into their potential charts in accordance to how they are etc. I do this in my free time (aka. at 3am when I’m bored.) so I decided to share. I might do more for other shows! What are your sign(s)? Do you relate to any of these characters?

Anyways, I’m off. Thanks for reading. Ignore any typos I’ve missed. It’s 2am and I’m tired.

-Ambrose.

[grokebaby]

Summary of the eldritch angel story

Terminology masterpost

Central Characters

Heaven:

Lamera

ZZZ

Grandefel (Persecutor)

J'aimekiel

Ngah (High angel)

Kxxxtr (High angel)

Combfa (Caretaker)

Samuel (Angel in training) (not my character)

God's throne

Hell:

Deirdre (Persecutor)

Delilah (High demon)

Xerxes (High demon)

Hart (High demon)

Devoul

Limbo:

Godwatcher

Story summary/walkthrough under the cut

Our story kicks off when Lamera, J'aimekiel, ZZZ and Grandefel are all wondering what hell is like, since none of them (except Grandefel, who's lying about it) have ever been there. ZZZ is extremely curious by nature and decides to just go there because why not. Grandefel tries to resist and ZZZ calls her a coward (You can read this first part here, but it's not great quality imo)

About a day passes without much happening, until everyone hears a distress call from ZZZ. Ngah who's the mother of Lamera and ZZZ, scoops them out, whereupon everyone sees the sorry state the angel is in. Something bad and violent had happened in hell (You can read this part here, content warning for nonhuman gore)

We come back to the story not long after, with our two persecutors, Grandefel and Deirdre meeting secretly in limbo. Deirdre has news she's worried about but loses her chance to tell them when Ngah bursts into the scene, foaming at the mouth, demanding retribution for how ZZZ was treated down in hell. Grandefel is forced to leave and Ngah makes Deirdre escort her to speak to hells manager high judgement. Apparently ZZZ violated several rules upon entering hell and was generally very rude, driving some of Deirdre's friends to attack them on her behalf. Deirdre stayed compliant because she hasn't been feeling well lately and isn't fond of angels in general (except Grandefel). The explanation and lukewarm apology for what happened doesn't please Ngah and she decides to call on a high court case, aka essentially suing them. Hells high judgement has no option but to attend the case (You can read this part here)

After about an hour, hells high judgement along with Deirdre and a few punishers make their appearance in heaven, but not before J'aimekiel can wonder outloud about how empty heaven is. She tries to ask Lamera about why there's barely any angels but the high court case starts. Deirdre gets her apology in, but before it can be accepted properly by all high angels, Ngah directs the conversation elsewhere. She accuses Grandefel of "using her time unprofessionally", and starts trying to squeeze out something from both Persecutors. Delilah, Deirdre's sister, intervenes so the court won't dissolve to off topic accusations but Xerxes wants to hear what Ngah has to say. (You can read all that in more detail here)

After dancing around the topic with increasing frustration, Grandefel reveals that she and Deirdre are in a relationship. Ngah not-so-subtly expresses her disgust with this and makes a direct jab at Deirdre, revealing to everyone that she's pregnant. Since it's a surprise to everyone but Deirdre herself, the revelation is met with backlash. Ngah knows this because as a high angel she can sense angelic life, and because she has a habit of stalking keeping a very close eye on everyone around her. Now that everything has finally been outed, the court dissolves into arguing.

Most angels aside from Ngah and maybe Kxxxtr are actually pretty fine with this kind of crossover happening and Lamera would gladly step in to Grandefels defense but is held back in fear of Ngah's rage. J'aimekiel however isn't, and raises her voice from the crowd. She calls out Ngah for her hateful remarks and reminds everyone that she was born a demon but became an angel after, and if that is fine, this should also be fine, right? Ngah starkly disagrees and in vague terms makes it clear that J'aimekiels existence is only tolerated, and might be because they quote on quote don't have better options right now. J'aimekiel is quite distraught by this and Lamera tries to come to her defense but is shut down by Ngah.

After a painful few hours the court case finally draws to a close with some new rules put in place going forward. One of them being that only the persecutors can make cross visits regularly, since it's required for their job. If any high judgements want to make cross visits it needs to be agreed upon beforehand. This is to avoid all possible conflict. Ngah also makes it clear that, "if they ever survive birth", Grandefel and Deirdre's children must pick a side and that "it would be for the best" if they never knew what they really were, or who their parents were. Despite the backlash, she gets everyone to comply thanks to everyone still being a little confused about the whole ordeal, and Ngah promising to be their personal problem if the children act out of line.

Case closed, everyone goes home. Deirdre feels extremely isolated from everyone now. Grandefel is kept busy by being given alot of heaven-centric work. While not explicitly getting in trouble for it, it's heavily implied that Grandefel really shouldn't be seen with Deirdre again outside of work related situations. J'aimekiel also feels isolated from everyone now.

A few dreadful months later the children are born in hell with Delilah supporting her sister. There's three. One is confirmed an angel via her halo. When Grandefel hears about their birth she can't keep herself away from them anymore, and with her help the children are named. The oldest is Mihail, middle one Meredith and youngest Gabriel. They also make the difficult decision of who gets to live with who. Despite all Grandefel doesn't take the angel child with her, instead taking Gabriel who she thinks would fit in due to how he looks. The children are raised apart like this and don't get to meet their other parent, despite being aware of their existence.

Somewhere along the line, one of Lameras halos gets a crack, something that's painful and quite a big deal for an angel. It's on the collar halo. The crack is small enough that he manages to hide it from everyone, especially since his beard covers most of his neck from view anyway

About a year later things have mostly calmed back down again. Although there's now alot more people who hate Ngah. A certain rather ordinary demon named Devoul makes the news in hell, thanks to Lamera hearing about him from a mortal. The thing is that Devoul has been tricking mortals into working for him in exchange for superpowers and getting something they desperately want. He's been doing this under the guise of being "The Devil" who rules in hell. This is obviously unture and a trial ensues, but it's only kept to hell because nobody wants to involve heaven after last year's occurrence. It goes surprisingly smoothly, and a portion of the souls are reborn and the rest decide to continue on with their lives. One of them, Samuel, inspired to make up for his bad deeds, becomes an angel in training. Devoul is sentenced to 800+ years of tedious physical labor, case closed.

We resume to the story when in limbo, by pure happenstance, Devoul and Lamera bump into each other. They have a moment of "YOU" where Devoul manages to hit Lamera right in the mommy issues, making him drop all attempts at being nice. Devoul is taken aback by how much he unintentionally managed to rile up Lamera, knowing him to be one of the good™ angels. Devoul notices the crack in his halo and becomes curious, whilst also trying to pull up any shreds of decency he has. Lamera tries to deflect most of it and finds out Devoul is here to look for Godwatcher to ask some questions.

On their way to find them, the two talk over a few things and find themselves understanding each other better. Lamera still feels iffy about Devoul though, despite him trying to explain himself

They find Godwatcher together and ask some general questions about morality and the nature of angelhood. Godwatcher can't really give them any one correct answer, rather than "What you think is good or bad depends on what you value in this world. No angel is born being better and no demon is born being worse". The two mull over some of the things they've heard and talk about ""God"". Devoul keeps asking Lamera increasingly difficult questions that cause him to doubt his own worldview and dig into the fact that Ngah is absolutely not a good angel. This causes Lameras halo to crack all the way through, causing him pain and distress. He's deeply afraid of Ngah's reaction if she were to see him like this, and feels like he'll be in trouble. Devoul, having gained sympathy for Lamera, feels guilty that he caused this and tries to offer various ways to help, none of which end up helpful. Figuring that he'll have the next 800ish years of being punished anyway, he decides to dig his grave deeper by pretending to attact Lamera. As a cover up for what broke the halo, so Lamera himself won't be blamed since it obviously broke in conjunction with his trust in his mother.

Speak of which, Ngah hears them and scoops up both. Right on time too, since Deirdre was just about to retrieve Devoul to do his work. Up in heaven, Ngah Is "Dissapointed but not surprised" that Lameras halo broke. She lifts him up by it, intending to fix it, but being manhandled by his mother, through an injured body part, distresses Lamera alot. It doesn't sit right with Devoul and he tries talking to Ngah, who dismisses him as a speck of dust not worth listening to, and they dissolve into arguing. The stress of it all causes Lameras collar halo to finally shatter and fall off completely. He deflects any further attempts to fix it, and tries to confront Ngah about her behavior. This infuriates Ngah who then accuses Devoul of corrupting her child. More arguing ensues, during which Devoul uses his special power of reading people's memories to briefly look at Ngah. He sees her attempted murder and banishing of their third high angel who hasn't been seen in a long time. Apparently heaven had a big inner conflict some time back, which Ngah resolved this way. Their current low number of staff is due to a huge chunk of the angels leaving since they supported Ezekiels cause more.

Ngah, despite wanting to sweep it under the rug, doesn't deny that she did all this, which upsets Lamera even more. He and Ngah argue. Lamera hits her where it hurts (insulting her divinity) and she's about to possibly get violent, when Devoul casts a spell that paralyses her physically. As she's a powerful high angel it won't hold her for long, and the duo flee heaven

Devoul and Lamera hide out and rest at the foot of a mountain on earth. They go over everything and get to know each other better. Lamera is surprised that Devoul would care this much about what's happening upstairs to which he replies "Hey I still have morals" - "Except for that one time". Their bonding is interrupted by Deirdre who caught up to them finally, intending to take Devoul back. Lamera resists, to her surprise, and they explain the situation. Deirdre sympathises with them heavily but is unsure if they can do much. She promises to speak to the high judgements about this all anyway, as a start. Lamera decides to try talking things out with the high angels. Devoul makes a spell that allows him and Lamera to call and talk to each other just in case. The duo separate after sleeping through the night at that mountain.

Heaven: Lamera goes to talk to Kxxxtr about everything he's found out. Kxxxtr expresses regret over letting everything go on like this, especially since she doesn't necessarily agree with how Ngah works things around here. Witnessing the murder attempt has been traumatic for them, hence they stayed compliant out of fear. Kxxxtr does also make clear that whatever Lamera tries to do to change things in heaven, he'll have their support. Ngah who's been listening in on them, bursts in angrily, accusing them of conspiring against her. Kxxxtr tries to get past their fear and stand against Ngah, who proceeds to purposefully trigger them in order to get them to stand down. Instead of backing out, Kxxxtr strikes Ngah in a bout of rage. Regretting the move immediately, they send Lamera up to the higher heavens to safety, and so he could talk to the highest power: God's throne.

Hell: Devoul goes to his house to look at his spellbook in case there'd be anything useful, while Deirdre proceeds to talk to the high judgements. Before he can really find anything, Lamera calls him to tell that Ngah and Kxxxtr are at each other's throats and he's afraid and not sure what to do. Devoul helps him calm down and barely gets to explain what he's doing before the call forcefully disconnects with Lamera notifying how beautiful God's throne is (using both he and it pronouns). Devoul has just enough time to find a spell that will take away a big chunk of power from a powerful individual, before Deirdre comes to him in a rush. One of the high judgements, Xerxes, takes things related to Ngah very seriously and has decided to go fight her. It's not entirely clear if there's ulterior motives, other than wanting to fight her. Deirdre and Devoul head to an opening where they find the three: Delilah chewing out Xerxes for throwing his staff at the heavens, and Hart snickering in the background.

While waiting for the staff to hopefully return, Devoul decides to call Lamera back just in case. At first it feels like the call is forcefully blocked and directed away but eventually he responds. His answers are cryptic and he sounds overall very out of it. At one point, he starts talking entirely differently, way louder and with a completely different voice, asking Devoul if the staff should hit something. He makes it clear that it should definitely not hit anyone or anything and the staff gracefully floats back into Xerxes' hand. The call disconnects. Devoul is worried and decides he really needs to get up there. Luckily for him, despite Delilah's efforts to stop him, Xerxes is about to throw again. Impressed by Devouls determination, he puts the little demon onto the staff and throws it. This time the throw is alot less coordinated due to Delilah physically restraining his hand. Devoul however makes it to where Ngah has currently dropped Kxxxtr down from the cloud. They have a brief confrontation before Devoul uses the powersucking spell on her, causing her to also fall off the cloud. The spell takes a physical toll on him, partially by causing him to feel extremely hungry. All of Ngah's now removed power manifests as an orb. He hopes Lamera is okay and tries to look for him, and is suddenly lifted up to where he is, as if on command.

He enters the throne room where Lamera looks.. Off. He's extremely swollen, like a balloon blown to it's limits, and his entire face is engulfed in flames. He doesn't respond to Devoul trying to make sure he's okay. He only speaks in that different voice that's clearly not suited to his vocal chords. In the background Devoul sees God's throne, mouth moving slowly. He has a hard time really registering the Throne's physical form into something he can comprehend. There's separate elements (Crystals and gems, large mouth and eyes, galactic matter streaming in and out of it) but his brain can't bring them together in his head. Despite this he addresses the Throne With "What the fuck did you do him? (Lamera)". The throne proceeds to ignore his questions and attempts to take the orb from him through Lameras body, since the entity itself can't move much at all. Devoul is unwilling to hand it over until God's throne explains that now, since Kxxxtr is heavily injured, and Ngah technically not a high angel (in terms of strength), they need a new one. He exposits how He was just going to make Lamera into a high angel instead but having Devoul enter with the orb brought another option to the table. Devoul hands over the orb, which God's throne takes into it's mouth and Lamera falls limp, now presumably free from it's control. After both making sure they're okay, they exit the throne room and take a moment to collect themselves and pass out from the exhaustion.

Meanwhile Kxxxtr fell down to limbo, bleeding, where they're still laying, unable to move. Xerxes, who partially went to look for his staff, and partially to punt Ngah in the gut, discovers her. Kxxxtr is terrified at first but Xerxes offers her his armor, to cover for her leaking insides. She's taken aback by the kind gesture and they just sorta awkwardly hang out there while Kxxxtr explains what happens. Xerxes escorts her back later. Ngah has turned into a giant three headed serpent, and is having an episode somewhere, enraged and miserable at being demoted. Samuel and J'aimekiel are shook by the commotion and are trying to figure out what's going on. Xerxes finds Ngah on his way back and they start fighting (he still hasn't gotten his staff back).

Upon waking up, Devoul and Lamera lament over the whole mess. Samuel and J'aimekiel find the two and want an explanation. Devoul and Samuel aren't thrilled at seeing each other again. After a thoroughly uncomfortable interaction they part ways, Lamera leaving to clean up things upstairs and Devoul returning to his punishment work downstairs, dreading all the more trouble he might be in now. He stumbles upon Xerxes with Ngah in a chokehold, and doesn't even recognize her. Ngah is now even more pissed at him, but with some help he realizes who she is. Xerxes seems intent on killing her but Devoul tries to stop him, knowing Lamera would be destroyed by something like that happening. They heavily discuss it before concluding that Ngah really should answer for her crimes instead of getting the easy way out. She's locked up in the Void District until she can play nice again (and until they can figure out a proper punishment for her). Xerxes and Devoul chat on their way back, and Xerxes, still very impressed by the little demon's spirit, offers to recruit him. Devoul, although surprised, accepts the offer. He still has alot of punishment work left but at least he'd get to do it in consistent company.

About a day passes and everyone is almost getting to settle in, when something strange captures the attention of all the angels. God's throne is now finished making them a new High angel - how exciting! The new angel, instructed by the Throne, fetches and throws Xerxes' staff right back to him. They then backflip out of the high heavens to meet everyone, making a thoroughly.. Interesting first impression, to say the least.. The angels have a hard time swallowing that a demon - Devoul specifically, kickstarted the creation of their new High angel. Samuel nopes out, Grandefel heavily considers asking for a refund, and the new angel, not seeing anything wrong with any of this, hops down to hell to meet their "Daddy". Devoul is taken aback by the news but welcomes his "child" with open arms. He with Lameras help, proceed to name them Terjey, since God's throne didn't give them a name (which is very unusual). Heaven returns to cleaning up the mess and dealing with the staff shortage and Devoul returns to his work.

And that was everything that happened up to this point, the present day.

The end - for now!

[foxfire-midnight-wings-writing]

Spider Virgil! (Introduction)

So, I guess this is a bullet fic? I always liked to write like these but never knew they had a name lol. Anyways, lets go!

If you’d like to talk more about this AU, you can send me an ask at @foxfire-and-midnight-wings​ or on here. (Preferably only using this one for asks that could bring potential to expand on the story or universe, with the other one for smaller asks and non-canon talk)

[Next]

[Fanfic Masterlist]

Warnings: super long post, talk about spiders and spider traits (fangs/venom, extra eyes, extra legs, etc.) and the usage of them, talks of spider and snake bites/venom (aka non-sexual biting), general anxiety thoughts and cognitive distortions

[This is basically an AU where Virgil has some spider-like traits, similarly to Remus and Janus with their respective animals. No one is unsympathetic!]

- - - -- - - -- - - -- - - -

First off, he has a little set of extra eyes underneath his 'real' eyes (only four eyes in total)

He got nervous before introducing himself to the other sides (aka the ‘light sides’) so he had Janus and Remus help him use makeup to hide them.

Janus & Remus understand bc while they like their animal traits they know he's always nervous about them.

While Remus only hides his octopus tentacles, Janus tends to hide his fangs, most his scales that aren’t on his face (ex: neck and shoulder), and his extra arms around many of the others.

Virgil has setules so he can climb walls and stuff, which is how he gets up and sits on places that shouldn't be sat on.

Also, he has 4 spider legs that are connected to the muscles on his back

One pair is positioned just underneath his shoulder blades, the other pair is around his mid-lower back

When he’s not hiding his legs, they usually are positioned as if they were giving him a weird hug (top are resting on his shoulders, bottom are wrapped a little bit around his torso)

Also fangs!

He has extended canine teeth that (surprise!) connect to a pair of venom glands on his neck

This means that his teeth are really sensitive too, though, which can suck at times

He had a bad habit of instinctually injecting venom into meat and stuff he eats, but luckily it doesn’t hurt him. Now that they’re all older though, all the ‘dark’ sides were able to adjust to their animal traits or habits.

In this case, that meant he trained himself not to automatically inject his venom into stuff

Remus was the first to find out about venom milking, because it’s Remus

Because both Janus and Virgil have fangs + venom, he knew that they were constantly worried about accidentally hurting someone and not having an antidote. So he brought up the idea to them

Luckily, they were all young when they discovered this so there weren’t any inappropriate jokes about it, but Remus makes them a lot in the present (along with the vore jokes, which everyone hates)

Basically, for those who don’t really know, the way people make antidotes and medicine to help with venom from animals like spiders and snakes is through extracting the venom by a process called “milking”

So they ended up experimenting a lot and they eventually made their own antidotes to both Janus and Virgil’s venom

And once they both also learned how to bite things (and as a result each other) without using their venom

(Snakes and spiders can do what’s called a “dry bite”, basically they bite without injecting venom into what they bit)

This revelation ends up with Janus and Virgil often threatening to bite the other person, sometimes if they fight they actually do

The antidotes have been helpful on the few occasions one of them injects a tiny bit of venom by accident (which was extremely rare, and only ever happened when they were younger)

Virgil and Janus still regularly milk and make their antidotes, and they usually keep some of both in all three of their rooms for emergencies

(sometimes they do it just because they can, and end up giving it to Remus so he can do weird experiments with it in the Imagination)

Also, the hissing? Janus is a snake, so that makes sense. But Virgil?

Well, after a little research, they ended up finding out that spiders make a low hissing noise called “stridulation”. So technically, spiders hiss too.

Virgil uses that against Remus when he tries comparing him to a kitten, and he threatens to bite him

[The Present Situation w/ the Other Sides]

- - - -- - - -- - - -- - - -

He was planning a big reveal for the ‘light’ sides at one point (before he was accepted) but he never went through with it

Because Accepting Anxiety happened, he was worried he'd lose the friendship/acceptance of the others due to his traits. (Anxiety and cognitive distortions, y'know? Plus, he saw how freaked out Patton and the others were by the spider decorations in his room, how could he expect them to react any different to him?)

And so he continues to hide them and his other abilities

which is an absolute pain because while he can easily cover up his extra pair of eyes, he has to be very careful about not showing anyone his fangs

And don’t get me started on how hard it’d be for him to get into his jacket and positioning it just right so his legs aren’t being squished but they aren’t very visible

Fun fact! That’s why he always appears on the stairs. he can easily hide them by leaning against the wall or positioning his back to where no one can see them

But he still gets little urges to do things spider-like because of his anxiety.

For example: crawl up the wall and go in corner = no people = safe

So to fill that little spider instinct to crawl up places to get away from people he takes to sitting in places he shouldn't.

Top of the fridge, the counter, anywhere he can get while being able to reason his way out of being questioned on how he got up there

To his surprise, no one stops him. If anything, Patton calls it cute and Roman basically encourages it

And so things go on like normal, and he always takes off his makeup once he's in his room.

Sometimes he indulges a bit and climbs the walls

He has a small resting area that looks similar to a hammock (but it’s practically a nest of blankets) that’s connected to his walls. Sometimes he’ll sleep up there because it’s off the ground and away from everything

he tends to lay on his stomach and to spread out as much as he can when up there

(Janus and Remus find it hilarious, but Virgil points out that Janus can’t say anything because he does that too)

No one has seemed to catch on that he has spider traits, and he is extremely relieved about that

Then Janus comes along and introduces himself to Thomas and the others.

And then Remus joins in too.

And while none of them are on bad terms, Virgil gets more and more worried someone is going to point out their animal traits and ask him if he has any.

And he worries because he doesn't know how to respond

He can't just say

"Oh yeah, all the 'dark' sides have animal traits and I've just been hiding mine from you in fear of rejection and that you'll all hate me. By the way, my anxiety is making me not say anything about this because I'll have a panic attack just thinking about telling you, and so I haven't said anything about it, and the more time that passes makes the anxiety about telling you guys worse which causes me to put it off even more. And it causes a spiral from there that often makes me whole myself up in my room for days on end."

So he tries to prevent anyone from asking about the 'dark' sides by making it seem like he left them on extremely bad terms.

It takes a minute for Janus to realize it’s not the normal banter they throw around, it’s something more desperate and anxiety-ridden

Janus catches onto his plan very quickly, and when he can he gets Virgil alone with him and Remus to talk it out.

Virgil tells them about his fears of rejection and how none of them know about his spider traits (especially because they went to his room once and Patton was freaked out just by the spider curtains, making his fears worse)

So they all make an agreement to help Virgil hide his traits and to make a plan to help the others not ask them about each other

And then Remus just goes "so you're saying I can fuck with my brother? That's the plan, right?"

Cause he is so on board as long as he can cause chaos.

And what better way to cause chaos than by pretending to be in an arguement or on extremely bad terms with a close friend, forcing the others to watch it happen and be uncomfortable as they argue back and forth

Janus just agrees because he likes being dramatic and it's not like they didn't banter a lot before now, they just get to make it public and more "serious" than before

(They all know it’s just because he wants to be part of the Drama™)

They make a list of things they can and cannot make jabs/remarks about

And then they prepare for the chaos

(Note: This is not them being “unsympathetic”, they all agreed on the plan and all know what they are signing up for. The entire purpose is to make the others think that they have bad relations with each other, which some may interpret the arguing/jabs as the characters being “unsympathetic”)

[The Chaos Time Begins]

- - - -- - - -- - - -- - - -

So this all happens before Selfishness v. Selflessness, right?

Which is what makes the entire courtroom scene funny to the ‘dark’ sides, bc they all were planning to have that be when the drama really started to take off

When in the courtroom and Janus makes the comment about Virgil’s name, he really wasn’t expecting that, but after the initial panic passed he was like ‘I mean, alright I guess’

He didn’t really want them to know anything about his full name (Virgilius), but it wasn’t going to really hurt him

(He just wanted to avoid any of the references or jokes Roman and Logan would definitely make because he already got enough of it from Janus and Remus)

and the plan worked! almost a little too well, though...

After the courtroom scene ends, there’s a couple days of silence where everyone just. Doesn’t talk about it. At all. The ‘dark’ sides were prepared for this, so it’s not too bad for them, but it makes Virgil feel very awkward when around the others.

Then, after the third day of awkward avoidance, Patton and Roman gather all of them in the living room to try and make sure everything is okay.

Unfortunately for them, Patton had also invited Janus up there because he saw the tension between him and Virgil

And Janus physically restrains himself from showing how excited he is because this is the perfect way to make the Drama™ officially known

Virgil is just chilling on the couch waiting for everything to spiral, because while he appreciates the effort, the fighting is completely intentional. So there’s no stopping it now

It goes about as well as you can expect

While everyone else except Janus starts talking, Janus just patiently waits until someone brings him into the conversation to start making jabs. (mainly because he knows that the others actually have stuff they need to talk through first, before he derails the conversation)

They all are able to get to a good conclusion about the situation, misunderstandings are talked through, and now all that’s left is dealing with Janus

And as soon as Patton starts talking to Janus, he gets excited because the show can finally begin

Roman: Now, I know not all of us really like him, but- Virgil: like him?! That’s funny, princey, because I really fucking hate him! Janus: Oh, come on, Virgil! Just lighten up a little. You’re seeming a little... dark. Virgil: Don’t. Patton, trying to prevent them from arguing: Hey, now, kiddos! Let’s take a moment and just step back to breathe, yeah? We don’t want this to- Janus: become a truth-telling session between us and Virgil? Patton: become an arguement.

The others try to help Patton defuse the situation, but it doesn’t work. If anything, it makes the situation worse because Janus uses them as fuel for some of his arguments.

Virgil: Yeah, keep talkin’ pal! I’m sure they really want to hear it from someone who makes it his job to harass everyone Janus: Well, sorry about that Sir Emo, but I couldn’t hear you over the sound of you leaving us. Oh, wait! Sorry, you don’t want to remember being a ‘dark side’, now, do you? My apologies! Roman, frantically glancing between the two: Wait, wha-? Virgil, standing up: Oh shut it, you treacherous snake! Like you ever even wanted me there. You’re probably glad I’m gone, huh? The cold from your room is starting to affect your heart! Not like you had one, though. Janus: Why, you-!

They start arguing and slowly they start getting louder and louder

Eventually, they’re yelling insults at each other, and everyone else is at a loss for what to do

Then, in what seems to be the ending of the argument, Virgil yells “I never wanted to be there with you in the first place, you bastard!”

Janus takes a moment to pause, and then he just says “Right, of course. My bad, Virgilius”

The living room is quiet as Janus sinks out, and Virgil just stands there shaking

He knew it was going to happen, and he knew it was just his name, but the acting and drama was becoming a little too much. It started to feel too real to him, and he knows that’s just his anxiety speaking, but he still feels the tears gathering in his eyes

Patton tries reaching out to him, but Virgil says “I’m going to my room” in a broken voice

The others watch helplessly as he leaves, and eventually they all break off to their own rooms to think about what just happened.

[magicofthepen]

Having put some amount of thought into similar concepts, I would very much love to hear about “Gallifrey BUT FANTASY”

Send me a WIP doc title (list here) and I’ll talk about it!

Thank you for asking about this one! It’s an idea that’s been slowly coalescing for at least a year and a half now – it’s never quite made it onto the active projects list because it’s a big one, and I keep having other big projects that I want to tackle first. But I love gradually coming back to and building this au, and hopefully I’ll write it eventually?

The general world premise is pretty straightforward: magic replaces both time travel and regeneration, so it’s a magic-based world instead of a tech-based one, and also the ability to do magic is only given to certain Gallifreyans (a Time Lords = mages sort of thing). Also in this world the different temporal powers/planets are different countries/kingdoms/empires. 

The story itself would be a series of three longfics that starts with a very narrow cast and gradually broadens to a more sprawling epic fantasy vibe as the series continues. A quick overview:

Fic 1 is a Romana/Leela Rapunzel AU (inspired by Tangled specifically tbh), ft. Pandora as the Mother Gothel figure. 

Fic 2 is the immediate aftermath of Romana’s return to Gallifrey and the "power struggle over the throne” conflict that emerges between her and Darkel. (Narvin and Brax show up in this one.)

Fic 3 is set some number of years after Fic 2. It’s a “Pandora returns” fic, but narratively it’s more inspired by the Time War. Devastating magical conflict, large cast of characters, but does have a hopeful/happy-ish ending. (Also: Romana/Leela/Narvin endgame.) 

Lots more rambling under the cut: 

Fic 1: Rapunzel AU

This fic is technically Tangled-inspired, but I should disclaim that I haven’t actually seen Tangled in many years, so my memories of it are somewhat vague? But there’s one scene from Tangled that inspired a scene in this fic, plus a certain similar enemies-to-friends-to-lovers vibe going on, and some inspiration for Leela’s backstory (if I’m remembering that movie correctly)? 

Romana is the Rapunzel figure, of course. The heiress stolen away from the kingdom as a very young child, so she doesn’t remember anything before being raised by Pandora. In this story, Pandora’s endgame isn’t to keep her trapped away forever – she’s grooming Romana to be able to possess her when the time is right and take the throne for herself. (Still need to work out a lot of plot details, including how much contact Romana has with the outside world, how Pandora is able to manifest without a body?? (because she’s definitely still a dark spirit of some kind in this world....), the exact nature of magic and magical rituals and how exactly Pandora stealing Romana and raising her benefits her endgame.)

(Also there’s an Etra Prime reference here, with Romana being trapped away from the world for twenty years. In this au, Pandora is also the stand-in for the Daleks – aka who/what Romana is most afraid of and traumatized by.)

Leela’s backstory is a work in progress, so I don’t want to say too much in case I change it, but at the point her life and Romana’s collide, she’s lived in Gallifrey before and it was not a good time. (On a side note: I feel like this fic may be a thinly veiled excuse to give Leela a sword.) 

This fic majorly focuses on Romana and Leela’s relationship arc, aka “extremely sheltered book smart mage who's been cut off from love and connection her whole life” meets “warrior who’s traveled a lot but has never really found a home anywhere and is (probably?) on the run from the Gallifreyan authorities for Reasons.” Short version: their lives collide, Romana gets tangled up in Leela’s plot drama (which is also mostly tbd) and ends up sneaking away from Pandora, they fall in love, just as Romana starts to see how much she’s been used and manipulated her whole life, Pandora tries to tear them apart and use both of them as pawns in her plan. Of course, they defeat her and all ends well (for now).

Fic 2: Struggle for the Throne

For Reasons (that will be uncovered later), the throne of Gallifrey has quite recently become vacant – just in time for Romana and Leela to show up in the capital city (they don’t ever go there in Fic 1). Romana just wanted to see where she was from after finally escaping Pandora, but in this world, Gallifrey has some sort of monarchy/inheritance of power thing going on, and Romana is actually the closest heir to the throne. The next closest is Darkel, who assumed she would take the throne, before Romana suddenly returns from the dead.   

Except Romana didn’t come back to take the throne. That was Pandora’s plan, Romana doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life and had no idea that she was walking into a power vacuum situation. But she ends up seeing how very terrible Darkel is, and how very terrible Gallifrey is, and starts genuinely wanting to be in charge so she can Change Things. She sees how terrible Gallifrey is to Leela (and other outsiders and non-mages) and wants to make this place better for her.....but over time gets swept up in the power struggles and the need to court favor with the other royals, which strains her relationship with Leela. 

Meanwhile, Leela’s dealing with returning to Gallifrey, a place where she already feels unwelcome (and probably is in some trouble with the law and needs to clear her name? again, lots of backstory details are tbd). And so she ends up struggling to decide if she really wants to be with Romana, if Romana’s going to end up in charge of this kingdom.....but she also hates Darkel and wants to help defeat her claim to the throne? I think there’s also going to be a plot thread in Fic 1 involving the village Leela was born in, and if so, this fic will also be dealing with the fallout of those events from Fic 1. (Keeping things vague because it’s all pretty up in the air right now.) 

And we finally meet spymaster Narvin, who is a main character from here through the rest of the series! I’m not going to get into his backstory in this au right now (because some things are still tbd, some things I don’t want to spoil), but he is not pleased about this young upstart heiress showing up out of nowhere and getting power handed to her without ever actually living in this kingdom. He doesn’t trust that she’s actually loyal to Gallifrey, especially since rumor has it she was raised and given/taught magic by some dark spirit – which goes against the long-standing Gallifreyan traditions of how magic is granted and taught and raises some major questions about how safe the kingdom would be in her hands. (These are also the prevailing arguments in general for tossing Romana’s claim to the throne.) 

Narvin and Leela also have.....a history. Not a particularly positive one. 

So this fic is also slowburn enemies-to-friends with Narvin + Romana and Narvin + Leela, as they gradually grow to understand and trust each other, and ultimately all work together against Darkel.

Brax is also in this fic? I am quite nervous about Brax being in this fic (I don’t feel qualified to write Brax! I usually avoid writing Brax for that reason!) But he’s the main “well-respected mage from an old family” who actually vouches for Romana and tries to help soothe the fears of the more conservative royals about supporting her claim to the throne. I’d also like to do a version of the “Brax as Romana’s tutor” thing, where he ends up working with her on developing her magic, since she didn’t go through the Academy system and is worried that her magic is tainted by Pandora. There may also end up being an almost-arranged marriage plotline with Romana and Brax, where certain people would be more willing to support Romana’s claim if she married someone respectable (and this is another thing that drives a wedge in Romana and Leela’s relationship). (She ends up turning him down, ultimately.) 

So it’s a fic about characters figuring out what they want in life and figuring out how to communicate better with each other and be better at relationships and friendships, all the while trying to stop Darkel from seizing the throne. 

Fic 3: Magical War

So there’s a significant time skip between Fic 2 and Fic 3 where the characters are going about their lives post-Darkel’s defeat and trying to make Gallifrey a somewhat less terrible place. 

But, however Romana and Leela defeat Pandora in Fic 1, it isn’t permanent. And when Pandora returns, it’s with an army of magical spirits (or something along those lines) that are slowly encroaching on the kingdom and poisoning magic itself (aka the Dogma virus But Fantasy). 

I don’t want to spoil too many of the plot details here, but this fic is a lot of “fantasy twist on specific events in the Gallifrey audios” – it draws some elements from the civil war, some from the Time War (especially because of that whole “Pandora is also Metaphorically the Daleks” thing), plus some other Specific Things from other audios. (Basically, I tossed the Gallifrey audios in a soup and stirred and made it fantasy?) 

Slow skirmishes and terrible attacks on the outskirts of the kingdom keep happening, Pandora’s forces draw closer and closer until they reach the capitol itself – and things go very wrong, and our main characters end up needing to wrest control back from Pandora (which may involve upending the entire system of magic in Gallifrey in the process? again, still figuring out how this fic is going to end – all I know is that unlike the actual audios, it will be a hopeful/happy ending). Lots of personal sacrifices are made, lots of old traumas need to be grappled with. Also re: Narvin/Leela and Narvin/Romana, this is the “friends to lovers” part of the “enemies to friends to lovers” slowburn arc. 

(Probably my biggest writing struggle for this fic is that I don’t really know what Brax’s arc is going to be. I’m not that familiar with Brax (I only know him from the Gallifrey audios), and I’m not strongly invested in his character, so I don’t feel like I’d do a good job writing him? But this is an ensemble fic and I can’t just ignore his character, so. it’s a challenge I don’t yet know how to deal with?)

But overall, one of the reasons I’m quite interested in this fic series is because it gives me the chance to write a version of these characters’ stories where things do get rough, but they do get a happy ending of sorts. (And more specifically, I get to write a version of Romana’s story where her self-sacrificing/suicidal tendencies actually get addressed, and she slowly starts to heal.) 

So that was a lot of rambling and vagueness, but thanks for giving me the excuse to talk about this au! It’s quite a daunting project (I have little experience with longfic and with plotty fic), but I’d really love to tackle it someday! (And I would love to hear about any fantasy aus you’ve developed!!)

[silentauroriamthereal]

So, I watched Happiest Season yesterday, and I have thoughts. A lot of thoughts. Spoilers abound and this is long, so I’ll put this under a cut. 

Happiest Season: a review

You have to ask yourself how “happy” a happy ending really is when you glance down at the time bar on the film and see that there’s less than fifteen minutes left and none of the story’s problems have been even remotely resolved.

Skip to the closing credits, and I hadn’t changed my mind. This is a “happy” ending where a great deal of the problems in the plot were left either completely unresolved, or whose happiness wasn’t earned – wasn’t properly fleshed out, developed, supported, or in fact, even happy.

What an incredibly toxic family the Caldwells are. Let’s start with them: there are three daughters. Sloan has apparently cemented her parents’ permanent disappointment by having left a promising legal career in favour of raising a family. Side tangent: are we really still having this discussion, in 2020? This binary choice between family OR career? Besides, Sloan evidently developed a different, and very lucrative career. I also strongly dislike the way the perception of her marriage ending is portrayed as a failure. Her awful parents both resent her having left the legal field, yet have refused to now see her as anything other than a parent, ignoring her new career choice and, it seems, literally anything else about her. Then we have Jane, who is overtly abused. Treated as lesser than anyone else in the family apart from technical support with malfunctioning printers, Jane is constantly criticized, chastised, literally told to not put herself in the centre of the family for a holiday photo. I was horrified and devastated by the wanton destruction of her painting at the end, too. I’m happy for her that her book got published and that she found success there, but I hate that this brutal, completely unnecessary destruction of her art happened and was totally overlooked.

I’m going to come back to Harper, because there’s a LOT to say there.

The way the parents, Tipper and Ted, treated Abby, was appalling from start to finish. Leaving aside the ENTIRE question of the secret girlfriend thing, if my family ever treated a friend or even distant acquaintance the way the Caldwells treated Abby, I would be furious with them. I used to frequently bring friends who were international students or just on their own for the holidays to my parents’ place for Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas festivities. These people were so, so, so incredibly rude to Abby, from ignoring her when she first arrived to giving her a terrible bedroom with a door that doesn’t lock, to walking in on her multiple times while she was changing or in bed – that level of complete disrespect infuriated me! Just allowing those awful kids to be in her private space without any sort of discipline, consequences, or apologies was unacceptable. The way they treated Abby after those same kids – which she was stuck with, without any sort of request to watch them – planted that necklace on her, was unacceptable. The utter lack of apology for having literally accused her of theft, for accusing her multiple times after that – WOW. Treating Abby as though she was the unexpected, extra guest at the restaurant that first night, and giving the ex-boyfriend the parents kept shoving on Harper the proper one was unacceptable.

Then there’s how Harper treated Abby. Let’s start with the restaurant: first of all, had my parents pulled that stunt on my friend/guest/secret girlfriend, I would have let them know then and there that it wasn’t okay. And then I would have, I don’t know, asked the staff to bring a proper chair, and if that turned out to be impossible, I would have insisted that she take mine instead, and sat on the little chair myself. Asking anyone to closet themselves is an act of violence, and watching that as a member of the LGBTQ2+ community was actively harmful to witness. Again, a lot of the crap that Harper subjected Abby to would have been awful no matter WHO Abby was: you don’t abandon your guest to hang out with old friends. If they’re ready to go home, then you go home with them. It’s basic hospitality. Considering that Abby was Harper’s partner, that’s a whole extra layer of harm. THEN add the ex-boyfriend, a horribly-treated ex-girlfriend, and toxic old friends to the mix, and you have something beyond appalling. Adding this stuff on top of not standing up for Abby to her family, not insisting that she be given somewhere proper to sleep during her time in her parents’ house, not insisting that she be treated with the most basic respect, not defending her during the whole jewellery theft situation, and even going along with the parents’ de-invitation to that dinner – that’s inexcusable. You don’t treat other people that way, much less your partner. Then add Harper calling Abby controlling, while simultaneously having the nerve to get angry about Abby spending time with Riley, which is possibly the only good thing that happened for Abby during that entire, awful trip – yeah. I was finished with Harper by that point.

Harper also actively participated in the way her sisters were constantly put down by their parents. The responsibility of being the privileged favourite is to use your status to bring others up. Harper doesn’t appear to have any sort of spine or courage whatsoever. It was only after she was forcibly outed by Sloan – and such was her privilege that the parents believed that it was a “malicious” lie rather than a “shocking” secret – that Harper even admitted the truth, and that was only after forcing Abby to watch her deny it yet it again. While I did love John (the gay best friend)’s entire speech about someone’s love not being the same thing as being ready to come out, there is nonetheless a ton of harm in forcing your partner watch that. It does affect them. It does disavow their identity at the same time, when they’re in a relationship with you. Her pattern of behaviour of throwing other people under the bus, like Riley, is very much intact.

I completely comprehend Harper’s fear of being rejected by her family. Apparently it was a well-founded fear, based on her awful, awful parents. That’s one of the reasons why the ending didn’t resonate for me at all: it wasn’t earned. Harper’s turn-around from being completely unwilling to have her parents know the truth to claiming that Abby was the only thing that mattered to her, came out of nowhere. It wasn’t a supported development. It happened too quickly. Similarly, the parents both going from being just about the worst parents on the planet to having a VERY sudden change of heart and behaviour, just happened unbelievably quickly. There was no questioning the entire history of their practises or what was wrong with them, no questioning how they’d treated any of their kids. The whole “consequence” for Ted was deciding, of his own accord, not to align himself with a politician who would force Harper to zip it – sorry, continue to zip it – about her identity. He shouldn’t have aligned himself with that woman in the first place. No one ever apologized to Abby about the way they treated her from start to finish, from patronizing her for being an orphan or the constant lack of respect shown her, to the false accusations of theft. Not a single part of it was atoned for at any point. Even Tipper being so disgusted with Abby’s ipad photography skills was disgusting. You just don’t talk to other human beings that way, and there was no resolution for me on any of this. There were also no consequences for Sloan’s horrific, SUPER-public outing of Harper, for Harper’s destruction of Jane’s painting, for the kids’ planting of the necklace on Abby, or for anyone’s horrendous treatment of Abby in general.

So yes: when you’re less than fifteen minutes out from the end of a supposed romantic comedy that was more upsetting to watch than entertaining or funny, and you’re actively rooting for the main character to walk away from her so-called partner and her toxic family, that’s not good. I’m not sold on the “romance” aspect, either. John (Dan Levy’s character) was the only good part of this movie, for me, and that’s overlooking his completely rude ignoring while on his phone at the beginning, or his negligent care of the animals he was supposed to be taking care of. (Gross, again – animals’ lives have value, too, and if my pet sitter killed my pet through negligence while I was away, I would be furious!) But his point about “sticking it to the patriarchy” in terms of Abby asking Ted for his permission/blessing to marry Harper was spot on. For all the hype about this being a progressive, lesbian, holiday rom-com, this film managed to perpetuate a lot of gross aspects of straight, white, misogynistic, heteronormative culture, like women being the property of their fathers and needing to obtain a male parent’s “permission” to marry another human being. The only person’s “permission” that was needed here was Harper’s, and then it’s not about permission – it’s about two adults making a consensual decision to commit themselves to each other. It’s great if you have the support of family – aka, BOTH parents, on BOTH sides – but that support is a bonus, not a prerequisite. Perpetuating the false dichotomy of family vs career for women only, is a harmful one to keep perpetuating. That question is never asked of men.

I was honestly kind of disgusted that Abby chose to stay with Harper by the end. I get it, but it definitely didn’t leave me with warm, romantic feelings. It left me with the deflated feeling I invariably experience whenever a woman makes the choice to be the bigger person and submit herself to a damaging situation or relationship. Mostly what I’m left with is anger that no one spoke up for Abby at any point, even John. That, and anger and sorrow over Jane’s painting. So yeah: it wasn’t as bad as bury your gays, but it also wasn’t really a happy ending for me, or super enjoyable to watch. Do better, Hollywood. Do a lot better.

[blorbosexterminator]

AND I am back. Once again on this lovely day to give my review for the EPISODE 24 so, here we go :

Agustin is squinting his eyes at him, as Sergio keeps muttering that Agustin has in fact done what he just mentioned he did and which both of them have known for years. 

Federico is 99% dead?! Damn, what is Sergio's gonna do?! Make it 100% ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(I got a feeling that Federico is the kidnapper or atleast a very important lead to them)

Btw, WHO IS FEDERICO?! Tatiana's alive husband?!

(Look at me, hoping like a moron she aint dead

My dog : Yep, total moron 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me :

Me : NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR BITCH-ASS OPINION, YOU DUMB-FUCK DONKEY!!!! 😡😡😡)

Martin, my darling, my sweetheart, my poor angel. Nada, some help? Atleast gimme some tips, bruh, come on, you cant desert me like that. Not when I need to help someone 🙁🙁🙁

since, drunk, the last idea he got was that Laura turned out to be completely insane and kidnapped Andrés to marry him

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Martin, honey, stop drinking. This getting out of hand 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. But then again, Andres is so hot poor thing keeps on doubting.

As Roci said in one of the tags, his wives deserve the highest civilian award for putting up with him.

(Although, I just had a frisky thought. What if Sergio wanted Andres away from Martin, not because he cared bout his hermano but......😳😳😳😳😳 *whispers loudly* he wanted Andres all for himself? In *frantically looks around* INCEST WAY?!)

(Calm down, my deranged mind, you went too far 🤣🤣🤣)

Who knows, it could be the professor he punched in the middle of an exam once. Martín doesn’t think he has forgiven him.

Mood, bruh, such a mood 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 NO, OMG 😆😆😆 I didnt do it, but I do kinda have a beef with my Organic prof. I'll go off tangent again, so tell me if you wanna know the story.

He sent Silene in disguise to collect the cctv from the nearby shops and streets. His own cctv has been disabled since the IT bitch ruined it, Martín will kill him when he gets them back.

I think if and only IF Silene finds something good, her % of redemption will increase.

(Raquel s2e7 deja vu, I see what you did there 😏)

And Martin about to go John Wick on anyone & everyone. I tell ya Keanu Reeves will be crying when he sees Martin go nuts. I am willing to bet he'll pull a gun on the poor milkman, who just wanna do his job 😆😆😆

So he calls Bogota, with a little (not that little) handwritten list in his hand with the names of people he thinks he might have ruined their life in the past. 

Martin : Okay, I'll just take out the list and

*the paper rolls out the door, travels around the world for 5 times and comes back while going over top of Everest and bottom of Marina Trench*

No, it’s because when he hated Martín, he had always hated him openly. If he wanted to hurt him, then he’d just try to stab him in the middle of the living room.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Bogota, did Tatiana have any family?”

“No, who of us did, Martín?”

“You literally have 7 children and 7 ex-wives.”

COMEDY GOLD, NADA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Those kids are ungrateful bastards, if I fall dead tomorrow they would just run to see what they’ve inherited.”

Aka THE PLOT of 70% Indian Telenovas 🤣🤣🤣. Also this line alone has so much soap opera vibes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He has no choice but to go to fucking Sergio Marquina. And if it’s his wife, then even better. Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. 

For fuck sake, Martín, Ive been telling you from last 2 ep

Stop. Blaming. Raquel.

Also, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 damn, these 2 assholes cant keep away from each other. Nada, are we sure these 2 married the right people? As much I am a Berlermo ship stan, this here is just smth else 😆😆😆

Uh-oh 🙁 this asshole son of a bitch just poked the mama bear. And if ANDRES of all people narrows his eyes at you, You are, quoting Martin from last ep, truly, utterly, entirely, thoroughly and wholly fucked.

“Do you know him?”

“Oh yes, a childhood friend, I stole his pencil once and he never forgave me. Have you heard this Paula? Don’t steal your friends’ pencils, they will never get over the betrayal. You could steal the teacher’s ones though.”

“Why did you steal his pencil?” Paula asked seriously, with a delirious tone, and too tired to even move her head upwards. Raquel is gonna kill every single person involved for doing this to her daughter.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Sassy Andres = Best Andres. Words that should be written with GOLD. Wisdom passed onto generations

Poor Paula 🤣🤣🤣 I just imagine this in some other situation :

Andres : *saying smth smth*

Paula : *taking notes & asking questions*

Raquel after seeing her daughter :

Look what you made me do

🎶But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time

Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined

I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

Ooh, look what you made me do

Look what you just made me do🎶

(Look what you made me do by Taylor Swift)

I am telling you Nada, by the time Raquel will be done with everyone, Uma Thurman will cry buckets because no one, okay?, no one can compete with A MAMA BEAR RAQUEL MURILLO.

“Poison is a woman’s choice of weapon, Anibal. Don’t be disrespectful.”

Again, words of wisdom. Only time hes not being a misogynist.

Also, Andres, my dear, are you speaking this from experience?

(Why do I think that Martin got Tatiana killed cause she poisoned him and Martin had to watch Andres fight for his life in hospital?)

“He won’t say anything, Mama. He’s the one who kidnapped grandma with Silene!”

Is anyone gonna listen to her? Or do I need to bonk Raquel myself? 🤦‍♀️

“Silence!” she screams. “I need to know everything that happened, if we’re getting out of here alive.” 

FINALLY!!!! SOME COMMON SENSE!!!! WE THANK THE LORD FOR MERCY!!!

And as for me, its time for me to say goodbye and goodnight (Cause its quarter to 12 rn in my watch)

AND ILL SEE YALL TOMORROW 🤗 BYE!!! 🙋‍♀️

I'm back as well! And we've finally caught up with each other.

Valid reaction. Sergio is also slowly going insane. Love that for him.

He's hoping he could. We all know this family has beef with that last one percentage.

(we'll see👀👀👀)

Hope is all we got at this point afabgs.

Now, now, don't speak to him like that. He has valid criticism.

I'd help him if I could, but alas (lmfao no, I do love them suffering)

Same recommendation. But he just, poor boy, could nothing to think of. So might as well be Laura. (also fair, who knows, maybe Andrés gets constantly kidnapped and forced into marriage)

Definitely, she's 100%. I really don't know how they do it.

Avsnsjsvjshsjs all theories are valid. Maybe Sergio does want Martín or Andrés, who knows what goes in the head of that fucker.

Seems like an interesting story! I never got along with my chemistry teachers. (Got one once to tell me that he's still not kicking me out of class only because he feels bad for my parents that they have to deal with me and they'll be the ones who will have to deal with the mess lmfao.)

Yes, have some faith in her!

100% accurate. Martín is this close from just shooting random people in the supermarket because they also could be the ones who kidnapped Andrés.

HAHAHA YES. This is exactly how the scene went.

We stan honesty in this house.

So happy you found it funny!!

I can confirm! Like 70% of all Egyptian drama as well.

I don't think he's hearing you well. But afnajscsgsh SAME. Okay look, now I really understand show runners with super homoerotic ships that they refuse to make canon. You try and make two male characters hate each other so much for plot then it slips and gets homoerotic.

Totally agree. This guy isn't making enemies with the right people (they are all dumb, but also none of them have anything that even resembles a moral compass)

Totally agree. This guy is honestly super amusing to watch and it's mainly because he's incapable of taking any situation in life seriously.

This family is really iconic. (love the song agsnsg) but also like Raquel would basically tell her after writing done his notes just put the title on top: things to never, ever, do.

I believe you! They really fucked with the wrong dumb family.

I mean, he's still a misogynist. Maybe some of us really like dagger, has he considered that?

That's as valid theory as any right there.

Hopefully Raquel will finally start listening to the child!

Raquel is the only one with a semblance of common sense.

Hope you had a good sleep! I'll see you tomorrow!

[softyoongiionly]

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Fourteen

(GIF isn’t mine)

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, some moderate angst (later), smut (later later), slow-ish? burn.

Word Count: 10.3k (lol, i wanna die) 

A/N: please scream along with me as I drown in a pile of emotion. I’m sorry the last three chapters have been so emotional, yoongi is a complicated boi and, needs roughly 25k to get out all of his feelings. ALSO, the next chapter will finally feature Jimin’s showcase, please send him love and good luck. Not like he needs it lmao

I LOVE YOU

Warnings for this Chapter: moderate angst, SMUT (oh my god its alot), mentions of anxiety and hardship, language, too many feelings.

Warnings for the Fic: mentions characters confronting their fears, characters in uncomfortable situations, emotional moments between characters, mentions of bad parenting, explicit language throughout the fic, moderate angst, and very explicit smut later in the story.

Chapter 14: Angels and Angels

“Jimin, if you move again, I’m going to shove this needle into your perfectly sculpted butt cheek…” You mutter, pinching Jimin’s ass, the sweat on your brow growing significantly.  

This causes a giggle to erupt from your best friend, who is currently contorting his body so that he can stare at himself in the mirror. 

“Yah! Do you miss your little boyfriend that much that you have to take your sexual frustration out on me?” Jimin wiggles his ass in your face and, you admonish him with a smack to his hip as you try your best to finish sewing his costume. 

Jimin called you that morning in a panic after he had ripped his showcase outfit during rehearsal so, you had quickly rushed over after your morning classes to resolve his crisis. 

“He’s not my boyfriend…” You counter, a smile threatening your mouth, “I do miss him though…” 

Jimin stalls his movements, allowing you to finish up, “You really like him don’t you?” 

The smile comes in full force but, thankfully Jimin is facing away from you when it does. 

“Maybe…” 

He rolls his eyes but, allows your vague response, turning slightly to examine your handy work, “You should invite him tomorrow, I still haven’t met him…” 

There is a flutter in your stomach at Jimin’s suggestion. You know that Jimin gets extra credit for the number of people that attend and, having Yoongi there would fill an extra seat. 

All the more reason to invite him… 

“I mean, it’s a big night for you Minnie, if you’re ok with him being there then, I’ll see if he’s free.” You attempt to keep your tone casual but, you’re slightly nervous at the thought of Yoongi being there as your date. 

Professor James cancelled Tuesday’s lecture due to illness and, Yoongi texted you Thursday morning that he wouldn’t be in class that day. Not seeing him for an entire week didn’t exactly sit well with you but, you were determined to not read too much into his absence.  

Jimin smirks, smoothing his hands over his hips, head tilting side to side in the mirror, “It’s my fourth showcase Y/N, it’s not that big of a deal…” 

A scoff leaves your lips, “Um??? It’s your senior showcase, you’re the reigning champion and, you’re about to make history as the only collegiate dancer to win the showcase four years in a row; of course it’s a big deal!” 

He giggles as you shove him playfully, a bit of nervousness creeping into his gaze, “You really think I’m going to win again?” 

 “Jimin,” You turn him towards you, holding each of his wrists in your hands, “I know you’re going to win again.” 

His beautiful smile graces his lips as he thrusts himself in your arms, the white sequins scratching against your skin. You hold him anyway though, you know he needs it. 

“Thank you…” He mumbles into your hair, “I don’t know what I’d do without you…” 

You smile into his neck, the warmth of Jimin’s words filling your heart, “Oh Jimin….I don’t know what you’d do either…” 

He pinches your side, “YAH! Don’t be mean! I would survive…maybe…” 

Squirming out of his hold, you giggle, patting his hip gently, “I don’t know what I’d do without you either Park Fairy. I’d probably die…” 

He points at you,” Exactly, don’t be a brat…” His tone his firm but, the smile on his lips is hard to miss. Jimin turns his attention back towards his full length mirror again to examine his costume. 

It’s a beautiful piece, skintight, covered in white sequins and, thin pearlescent lycra that hug Jimin’s body perfectly. You wondered if this was his entire costume as Jimin was known for quite an elaborate set up. 

“I love this costume by the way, it’s beautiful,” You marvel, putting all of your sewing tools back in their box, “Is the theme still a surprise or can you end my suffering and tell me?” 

Jimin smirks, eyes carefully scanning over his backside,” It’s still a surprise, my leotard is only the base piece, I have a lot more in store…” 

“RIP my mascara…” You lament, snapping your sewing kit shut before grabbing your phone off of the coffee table, “Should I text him now?” 

He giggles, amusement coloring his face as he turns to you, “Why do you look so nervous?” 

“I’m not nervous.” You grumble, thumbs tapping away at your screen to get to your message thread with the dreamiest rapper on Earth aka Min Yoongi.  

The last message that you sent him was wishing him luck on the rest of his composition, which he has been working tirelessly at for the last half of the semester. He only responded with a thumbs up emoji and, that was yesterday at 7:49pm.  

Suddenly, as your fingers hover over the keys, you feel slightly insecure at the lack of communication between the two of you. Last weekend had been amazing and, Yoongi made sure that you arrived back at your apartment safely and during the week he had said something to the effect of ‘I miss you’ without actually saying it.  

Jimin notices your hesitation, “What’s wrong?” 

Your teeth find purchase on your lip but, you avoid his gaze and focus in on your phone. 

“Nothing…I just_” A sigh leaves your lips as you tap the screen to keep it from going black, “ I don’t know… Yoongi and I had a really good time last weekend and, I’m used to not really hearing from him but, I kind of thought after everything that happened between us, there would be a little more communication. I don’t expect him to text me all day or anything but, we both agreed that we liked each other….a lot so, I thought he’d…” 

“Act like a boyfriend?” Jimin offers, a bit of his playfulness diminishing, focusing in on your emotions. 

The word sends butterflies through your stomach but, you shove them out, trying not to drown in your emotions. 

“No…I mean yeah but, like we aren’t together yet so, I can’t expect him to…I don’t know…” Articulating your emotions is not always your strong suit and, for whatever reason, you seem to become especially impaired when Yoongi is involved. 

“Jagi…” Jimin begins, sitting beside you, the sequins scratching your skin as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “…you’re allowed to want his attention regardless of whether or not you both have a title. Titles are nice but, the feelings are much more important…” 

You deflate a little bit, leaning into Jimin, your teeth still working against your lip, “I really like him…like I want to wake up next to him and, make him breakfast and do cute shit with him and, I’m not used to feeling like this and, I want to crawl into a hole and, never come out…” 

Your pink fairy giggles, pressing a kiss to your head “Yah, you’re not allowed to crawl into a hole, my showcase is tomorrow…” 

“Can I do it after your showcase?” You mutter against his leotard, your thumb tapping your screen again to ensure that it doesn’t go black.  

Jimin scoffs, “I literally just told you that I can’t live without you, do you want me to die?”  

His brows are raised in playful accusation and, you try your best not to get to distracted by how adorable he is. 

“No...” You grumble, lips fixed in a firm pout 

He chuckles now, nudging your hand towards your phone, “Okay then, text him.” 

With a roll of your eyes, you unlock your phone for the third time and, begin typing your message. 

You: Hey, I’m not sure what you’re up to tomorrow, I know you’ve been working on your composition but, my best friend is performing in a dance showcase in the main theater. Do you want to come? I figured we could carpool and, maybe get dinner afterwards or something? Let me know when you get a chance! 

By the end of your message, you feel your heart doing somersaults beneath your sternum. Why the hell were you so nervous? Shouldn’t you be passed this by now? 

“See? I knew you could do it...” Jimin cheers, kissing your head once more before moving to carefully take off his costume. 

“Yes, now I just have to endure a slow painful death while waiting for him to respond...”  A sickly sweet smile is on your mouth which causes Jimin to throw his head back in laughter. 

“Aren’t I supposed to be the dramatic one in this friendship?” 

“No Jimin, you’re the beautiful and talented main character and, I...”You gesture to your chest, “...am your socially inept, quirky side kick...” 

This earns another boisterous round of laughter from your best friend who is currently checking out his nearly naked body in the mirror.  

“Okay, first of all, thank you for calling me beautiful. Second of all, you’re can’t possibly be the sidekick...” 

Your eyes narrow, “Why not?” 

Jimin whips around in your direction, bubblegum hair a disheveled mess ontop of his head, a brilliant smile on his pretty lips, 

“Because you’re my hero...” 

With a mouth parted in shock, you process just how ridiculous your best friend is. At your expression,  

Jimin rushed into another fit of laughter as you respond. 

“Alexa, play Hate That I Love You by Rihanna...” 

 ------------------

After Jimin leaves, you wait approximately 5 hours before getting a response from Yoongi. The response does nothing to aid in soothing your nerves:

Yoongi: Hey sorry it took me so long to respond. I’ve been working, I think I may be able to go but, I was wondering what you were doing right now. I’m having some trouble sorting through something, I know it’s late though, so I understand if you’re sleeping.

Your brow furrows. His message seems odd but, you don’t want to pass up an opportunity to see him. Plus, you definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that he’s having an issue.

You: I can come by, what’s the address? Are you ok?

5 more minutes pass before another message comes in,

Yoongi: I just want to hang out, this week has been kind of rough.

Yoongi: 8294 Han Road. I’m in the 4th studio space. Just ring the front and, tell them you’re here for me, they should let you through. Sorry it’s so late.

You frown at his admission, wanting nothing more than to be with him now that you know your suspicion is correct.

You: Don’t be sorry, I’ll be there as soon as I can.

His message comes through within seconds and, you can’t help but feel a little nervous at seeing him in his studio. There’s also this feeling; a feeling that indicates that something is wrong. Yoongi has never asked you to come see him and, that paired with his odd behavior this past week has your stomach in knots.

What if he didn’t want to see you anymore?

You both agreed that you liked eachother but, life was busy for the both of you. The conversation on the Ferris wheel inches its way back to the forefront of your mind. Yoongi said that you two getting together would be a bad idea, was he returning to that conclusion?

 He never explained why he felt that way in the first place.

The Uber ride to Yoongi’s studio costs you $9.78. You didn’t realize how close he was to your apartment and, as the car pulls up to the faded brick building, you feel your heartbeat grow to an alarming level.

“Thank you, have a good night…”

“No problem, have a good one.”

The exchange with the driver is short and, given that he didn’t talk to you the entire car ride, you decide to rate him 5 stars.

 As you approach the front entrance, you notice the soft blue neon sign hanging off of the door that reads: SoundCrowd.

Clever.

You’re definitely in the right place.

The door swings open effortlessly and, you’re met with an empty lobby. Tables, chairs and, various flyers containing the studios information are the only things that greet you when you walk in. The clear glass that separates the lobby from the reception desk make the whole place feel like some sort of medical clinic; it’s not exactly a beacon of creative energy. You hope Yoongi’s studio space was less clinical.

“Can I help you?” A deep but, friendly voice calls from behind the glass.

The receptionist is an older guy, maybe in his mid-30s, wearing what looks to be a ghost busters pajama set.

“Yeah, I was looking for Yoongi? He said he was in the 4th studio space…”

The man smirks knowingly, “You’re here for Min huh? Tell you what, I’ll let you through but, you have to promise me you’ll try to get him to go home. The dude’s been here for like four days straight…”

Your brow furrows, “Four days? Are you serious, he hasn’t gone home or anything?”

The man clicks his tongue, “I live upstairs, and his car’s been here since Monday. He used my shower about an hour ago but, other than that, I don’t even think he’s left the room…”

A sigh leaves your lips at the information, “Jesus.”

“Are you his girlfriend?”

The word makes your heart go fuzzy and, your first instinct is to say yes but, the last thing you need is for Yoongi to find out that you made your relationship official without him.   

“Uh no, we’re just_” You trail off, searching for the right word, “we’re dating but, he’s been a friend of mine for quite a while…”

He smirks, waving you over to him, “No need to explain, I’m just happy Min is getting some sort of human interaction. He’s been a god tier introvert ever since I’ve known him. I’m Sejin by the way…”

A hand is extended through the opening in the glass and, you accept it graciously, bowing your head.

“Y/N,” You smile, “it’s really good to meet you. How long have you guys known each other?”

Sejin squints his eyes for a moment, tilting his head in thought, “Oh geez uh, let’s see, Yoongi’s 25 this year…uh…ten years maybe?”

Your brows go up, “Oh wow, are you from Daegu too?”

At your seemingly normal question, Sejin grows visibly uncomfortable, as if a realization just crossed his brain. You fear you may be asking too many questions but before you can amend, Sejin speaks up again.

“Uh, Yoongi’s never mentioned me has he?”

“No, he hasn’t, I’m sorry…” You smile looking towards the buzzer near Seijin’s hand, wishing you would have just asked him to buzz you in.

“Oh don’t be sorry at all,” A soft smile is sent your way as he sees that you may have gotten the wrong impression. Sejin nods toward the door, “Yoongi lived with me for a while when he first came to the city, I’m a friend of his older brother. I’m sure he’ll tell you more about it if you ask; Here let me buzz you in, he’ll be straight down the hall to your right.”

Confusion swirls in the forefront of your mind but, you smile nonetheless, turning towards the door, “Thank you so much, it was nice meeting you.”

He bows his head, offering a small smile, “Nice meeting you too.”

There are rooms lining either side of the long hallway, some of which emit a low hum of music through their barriers.  Yoongi certainly isn’t the only night owl plugging away in the building.

Turning right at the end of the hall, you’re met with a black door boasting a sign that read “#4.” The irregular heartbeat is back as you raise your hand to knock at the door but, your desire to finally see Yoongi after nearly a week overruns the nervousness that you feel.

“Come in.” You hear his voice through the door and, quickly, you turn the knob and, let yourself in.

You’re met with a confusing sight. 

The studio space was dimly lit with a low hanging turquoise fixture that sends a calming wave of light throughout the small room. The walls contain various speakers and, electrical equipment and, along with a work desk, you notice a giant monitor, nearly the size of a flat screen and, every production tool that any musician could ever dream of. However, there was also several indicators that Sejin was right about Yoongi never leaving this room. There’s a black pull out couch on the right side of the room that looks like he hasn’t been slept in, a few pieces of Yoongi’s clothes scattered on the floor and, perhaps the most disturbing thing is the overflowing trashcan in the far corner of the room containing nothing but empty coffee cups. From what you can tell, there isn't a single take out box so, that either means that Yoongi has been taking his food trash out or, that he hasn’t been eating at all.

And then there’s Yoongi, who’s just turned to look at whoever just came through his door. He’s sitting in the black desk chair,  dressed in a pair of torn up black jeans and a grey hoodie, his formerly platinum hair is a faded brown now and damp from his shower. He musters a small smile for you, his normally cat like eyes are sunken in, clearly from a lack of sleep and, his lips are chapped, another indicator that he hasn’t been taking care of himself.

“Hey you…” You smile, setting your purse down by the door, trying to gauge what’s going through his mind.

“Hi…um thank you for coming…” He rasps, his eyes shifting nervously over you, fingers itching to reach out for you.

You shake your head, “Of course, is everything ok?”

Yoongi opens his mouth immediately as if he’s already has an answer prepared but, he deflates soon after, looking at you helplessly, “No, not really I-“

He takes a deep breath, looking away from you, trying to keep it together. You don’t say a word as you close the space between you, moving to stand in front of his seated figure. Instantly, you pull him into a warm hug, holding him tightly, not needing him to explain just yet.

Yoongi feels so much of the tension melt away from his body as he feels your embrace, his arms coming up to reciprocate, burying his face into your hip.

The two of you don’t speak for a few seconds but, you feel Yoongi shake silently, not daring to untuck his face from you as he lets the tears spill over his eyes.

This causes your heart to shatter but, you don’t break the silence yet, allowing him to process his pain how he needs to. You keep him close though and, rub his back soothingly as he collects himself.

“I’m sorry…” He mumbles into your yellow sweatshirt, regretting that he’s staining the material with tears, “I should have texted you more, I just…this week’s been really hard.”

You shake your head, holding him tighter, “Don’t be sorry, I knew you were working on your project this week, it’s completely ok…”

This is said for his benefit of course, you didn’t want him to worry about your fear that he had lost interest when he clearly had something much more pressing going on.

“I wanted to text you…the first night I got like this but-“ He cuts himself off to sniffle, still not releasing you from his grip. “I didn’t want to bother you, or freak you out or anything…”

“Hey-“ You tilt his face towards yours, thumbing away one of the tears that is attempting to roll down his face, “-you’re never a bother to me, especially if something is wrong…”

He turns his face to place a gentle kiss against your thumb before sighing out shakily against your skin, “I can’t get this fucking song right Y/N. I’ve been at this for 5 months now and, it always comes out wrong, I’ve rewritten it like 10 different times and, I can’t do it. It’s shitty. I’m not cut out for this, I’m not good enough to go pro, I should’ve_”

He trails off, his eyes reddening as the tears collect once more at the corners of his eyes, “ I should’ve listened to my father, he told me to major in business, he said this would happen and, he was fucking right.”

His words create a deep ache within your heart.

How could someone so talented, doubt their abilities so much?

It’s not the first time you’ve seen it but, you’ve yet to understand it.

“I know you’re upset, I know that this seems impossible right now and, you’re unbelievably frustrated but, Yoongi…” You tilt his head back towards yours, your gaze growing firmer, “You were born to do this. You are the most talented musician I’ve ever known and, the quality of your stuff? The way you write, the way you think, it’s a sign. It’s a sign that this is what you’re meant to do. You’re not meant to be in a suit, slaving away at a corporate job you don’t even like, that’s what everyone else is doing. Yes, it may be more stable, it may provide a steady income and, give your parents something to brag about but, it isn’t you. Your happiness is in music, I can see that. You light up when you talk about it, you lit up on that fucking stage, and had half the city eating out of the palm of your hands. You are so incredible, you have no idea…”

Yoongi feels his heart swell in his chest, no one has ever spoken to him about his music like this, not with this much passion. But then again, Yoongi’s never known another person like you, he’s never known another that can make him feel so good.

“But jagi…the song…it’s not coming together, my professor is going to hate it…” He urges, anxiety still squirming around in his stomach. He wraps his arms around you tighter though, feeling a bit of comfort at your words.

“Did you think the crowd at Glacier was going to hate your song too?” You point out and, as you do, he bites his lip, sniffling again.

“Yeah…I did…”

A hand is carded gently through his damp hair as you smile down at him, “And look what happened Agust D, you became the city’s champion underground rapper. Did you lock yourself up in this studio and live off of Americanos for weeks on end then too?”

A smile threatens his lips, “You remembered my order…” he sighs, nodding reluctantly at your question, “I do this a lot…”

A breath is released through your nose as you smile gently at his observation but, the frown between your brows remains, “I don’t want to tell you how to live your life Yoongi but, you can’t do this to yourself. I know self-doubt can be borderline parasitic sometimes but, you have to try and cut yourself some slack. I know how hard anxiety can be, I know it can make you feel like the world is coming to an end but, please know that you are so much more capable than you realize. Sometimes it helps to step away from something and, revisit it when you’ve had time to clear your head. I have to do that with my proposals all the time…”

Yoongi moves back slightly to wipe a hand over his face, taking a deep breath as he nods in consideration of your words, “You’re right…I know you’re right. It’s just hard for me not to fall into this cycle sometimes. I got help when I started school, for my anxiety and, it helped but, old habits die hard you know? I just start overthinking everything…I can never get rid of that part.”

You lean down to press a kiss to his forehead before slowly helping him to his feet. “You might not ever get rid of that, you’re only human. Overthinking is my first reaction too but, over the years, I’ve slowly learned to not trust every crazy scenario my brain comes up with.”

He smiles and, this time you see it reach his eyes, the sight calms you significantly. “You’re…”

Yoongi shakes his head, “I knew you’d say the right thing, you always do…”

“Come here.” You smile, pulling him into a hug, tucking your face into his neck, “I’m sorry you’ve been going through this…try to reach out earlier next time ok? So this doesn’t go on so long, you know I’m here for you.”

He nods sagely, rubbing his hands on your lower back, “ I will, I promise…”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roughly an hour later, after you’ve gotten Yoongi to eat a good meal, the two of you start indulging in one another, the lack of contact starting to get to both of you. 

Your lips peck against Yoongi’s gently, just as a means to soothe him, your hands placed firmly on his shoulders.

 “I just...” He whispers against your mouth, attempting to melt away against your touch.   

He needs it, now more than ever.  

“Hm?” You hum gently, combing your fingers through his hair, nails scratching tenderly at his scalp.  

“I just don’t want to think anymore.” He breathes, responding more and more to the kisses placed against his lips.  

The column of his throat is eagerly arching towards your lips in a silent invitation. At the sight of his swallow, tender flesh, you frown at the lack of color there.  

“Your marks are gone.” You murmur, kissing the corner of his mouth  

Yoongi swears he wants to cry. He's kept his distance all week, trying to make sense of his emotions, trying to perfect his composition. But now, with you here, touching him, loving on him, he realizes how desperate he is for you; for relief.  

“Make new ones please...I just want to stop thinking...help me.” He practically keens his response but, he keeps it in check for the most part, not wanting you to consent for the wrong reasons.   

You bring your eyes to his, holding his desperate gaze, a smirk beginning to play on your lips.  

“How do you want me to help you?” You tease, encouraging him to articulate his desires.   

His cheeks flush even more, his Adams apple bobbing as he attempts to swallow back his nerves.  

He doesn’t know what’s come over him but, your tone compels him to his knees and, as his jean clad limbs touch the tile, he speaks, “You know...you know me, you know how to take care of me...”   

The response goes straight between your thighs; his small voice, his display of respect, you can tell this is something he’s had on his mind or awhile and, after the week he’s endured, you conclude that he needs to let loose.   

A finger is curled under his chin, directing his cat-like eyes up towards your own. You can tell he’s nervous but, the way he shifts eagerly on the floor tells you he’s more than ready for you.  

“You think so?” You coo, thumbing over his chin, smirking down at him  

He nods eagerly at the conclusion of your first sentence but, continues to nod throughout your teasing.  

“Use your words...” You urge, tightening your grip on his chin, admiring how beautiful he is on his knees.   

“Ye--...” His voice is already shot so, he clears his throat attempting to speak clearer, “Yes...”  

Your teeth press into your bottom lip, as your hand moves from his chin to push his faded brown hair away from his forehead.  

 “You want me to call the shots so you don’t have to?” You’re taking your time to rile him up, knowing it will pay off for him in the end.  

Another eager nod comes from Yoongi as he pushes against your hand, his doll-like lips going dry from his heavy breathing.  

“Yeah...I trust you; I’ll be so good for you, I promise.” He vows, lips brushing against your wrist, his dark eyes never once leaving yours.  “Please…” 

You tug on his hair then, drawing a whimper deep from within his chest. Yoongi feels his nipples harden as the pain pricks deliciously against his scalp.  

“You like this right? When I pull on it?”   

“Yes.” He breathes, shivering as your fingers brush across his lips and, down over his neck.  

“And...” You whisper, keeping your tone gentle as your hand wraps around Yoongi’s throat.  

This causes him to exhale shakily, his cautious eyes widening like saucers as he stares up at you.  

“Wh-…"  

You attempt to finish your sentence but, Yoongi’s shaky voice beats you to it, his request tumbling clumsily past his lips.  

“Fuck...please choke me...”  

He sounds so weak and, yet so sure of himself at the same time. You two had just begun breaching your sexual interests but, stepping into true dominant/submissive roles is something you’ve yet to do.

Whatever is about to happen, is going to be completely new territory for the both of you.   

The tightening around Yoongi’s throat makes him see stars; he feels like one of those cartoon characters that’s just been hit with a ton of bricks. Its intoxicating.   

“Oh-” Yoongi’s voice is raspier underneath your grip, his dick plumping up painfully against the zipper of his jeans.   

“You like when I choke you?” You coo, still holding his throat but, decreasing the pressure slightly.  

He nods, gasping as you tighten your grip again, testing the waters. Yoongi can already feel the dampness in his jeans but, he doesn’t care, he wants so much more tonight; he wants you to ruin him.   

“Use your words...” You remind him gently, urging him to open up as your free hand combs back through his hair.  

He exhales shakily once again, “Yes...”  

A fond smile is on your face then as you take a moment to run your fingers through his chestnut locks. You slowly urge him towards you so that he’s close enough to rest his chin against the center of your stomach. Yoongi stares up eagerly, awaiting instructions, his breathing uneven and, you take the small moment of silence to tug on his hair again. This causes his hands to come up and grip your outer thighs in desperation and, if he wasn’t already suffering in his jeans before, he definitely is now.   

With a salacious smirk you slowly bend at the waist so you can brush your lips against Yoongi’s, holding his gaze all the while, “I need a safe word from you...can you think of one for me?”   

Yoongi can’t think of anything aside from you at the moment along with his painfully hard dick threatening to bust out of his jeans but, he tries his best to wrack his brain for a suitable answer.  

“Dragon.”   

He scans your face for approval, hoping his choice was sufficient and, if you weren’t fulfilling the role of caretaker, you would be melting onto the floor right now.  

“Dragon it is...” You smile, combing a hand through his hair again, resisting the urge to tug on it, “You use that word anytime you need to ok? And we’ll stop...”  

Yoongi returns your smile, exhaling at the touch of your fingers, “Ok...”  

“Good boy.” The words are spoken into his hair when you lean over to kiss the top of his head. His hands haven’t moved from the outside of your thighs and, at the touch of your lips, he squeezes them again, “Stand up for me.”  

At your request, you move away from him, offering your hands as support. Yoongi looks at them tentatively before interlocking his fingers with yours and, slowly moving to his feet. Through the holes in his jeans, you can see how red his knees got from kneeling on the floor.  

You want the rest of him to match...  

“Come here...” You practically coo at him, curling a finger in your direction, beckoning him towards you. Yoongi never takes his eyes off of you as he takes the three steps necessary to reach you. As he stands before you, you keep his eye contact and, curl your fingers underneath the hem of his grey hoodie.  

“Arms up.”   

He obliges immediately, raising them high above his head, allowing you to slowly pull the material off of his body. Yoongi feels the hairs on his arms stand at attention as the cooler air of the studio hits his exposed skin. Without instruction you hook a finger underneath his chin and, silently bring his lips to yours. The two of you kiss, slow and sweet, taking time to lull deeper into one another. Your tongue slips in first, laving against Yoongi’s timid but eager mouth, as your hands begin slowly moving up the sides of his torso. A smirk is pushed into the kiss when Yoongi shivers at your touch, his whole body on fire for you.   

“You trust me to take care of you right?” You murmur into his mouth and, not two seconds go by before he’s nodding. “You’re gonna be good for me?”  

A half of a whimper slips out of Yoongi’s swollen lips, his hands come out to touch your waist as he nods again.  

“Yes, I’ll be good...”  

You smirk again, deciding that one of your goals tonight is to get Yoongi to feel more comfortable talking dirty to you. It’s a quality he possesses and, you can tell it’s something he’s into but, it takes a certain level of lust to send him there.   

“Why are you gonna be good for me?” The question is spoken between a few kisses and, you can’t express the delight you feel when he’s cheeks go red again.  

“Because-” His words are cut off as you slowly start to tickle your fingers over his ribs, the pads of your thumbs inching toward his erect nipples. “…. you deserve my respect. You deserve my obedience...”  

Good answer.  

“What makes me so deserving hm?” You coo against his neck, sucking gently against the sweet spot at the juncture of his collar bone. Before he can answer, you swipe your thumbs over his nipples. Yoongi swears he already feels like he’s going to pass out but, he does his best to answer coherently.   

“All women deserve my respect but, you...” He breathes, his head falling back on his shoulders, exposing his skin to you,, his hips rutting forward as you continue brushing your thumbs over his nipples, “you’re the best woman I know...you always take care of me, you’re always so nice to me. I wanna give you everything I can, so I’m worthy for you.”   

Yoongi is more than worthy enough for you but, given his history with insecurity, you can’t say his answer surprises you. However, if you weren’t melting into the floor before, you certainly are now.   

“You are worthy angel, come here...” The whispered command brings Yoongi’s mouth back onto yours as he swears he could cry at the particular pet name you just chose.  

Do you really think he’s an angel?  

He can’t imagine why...  

With your bodies pressed together and, your lips delicately tending to his, you speak again, initiating the rest of your plan, “Are you ready to play Yoongi?”  

Another nod comes from the angel in question, his nose nudging against yours as he does,   

“Mhm...”  

God, you didn’t know you’d be this into his submission but, here you are, completely drenched and he hasn’t even touched you yet.   

“Sit down on the chair for me, hands on the arm rests.” 

He follows orders, sitting down on his desk chair, spreading his legs to accommodate the throbbing erection pushing against his zipper.  His long fingers curl over the edges of the arm rests as his chest rises and falls with his increasing heartrate.     

You watch him carefully, mulling over multiple options that will hopefully make him cum so hard he can’t think straight. The first move you make is removing your hoodie, baring your black lacy bra to him: an article of clothing you chose specifically because you knew he liked it.  

The thing is though, Yoongi is no ordinary man. When he’s truly submitting, he does nothing without permission, not even look at you. Even as you step in front of him, Yoongi’s eyes stay glued to the floor but, the ever increasing motion of his chest gives away his reaction.  

“Didn’t you miss me Yoongi? Why aren’t you looking at me?” You grin, knowing the answer already 

He shakes his head, not wanting you to misunderstand him, “I missed you, so much, I just hadn’t asked permission to look at you yet. May I look at you?” 

“You may.” 

He doesn’t need further coaxing. He immediately brings his eyes up to your body, scanning over you eagerly, wincing as he feels his dick twitch in his jeans. 

“So pretty...” He murmurs, eyes full of adoration, “thank you for letting me see you...” 

“Don’t look away.” You demand softly, smirking in his direction as you slowly unclip your bra, revealing your breasts to him. As the cool air of the studio hits your sensitive chest, your nipples harden causing Yoongi to finally lick his lips.  

He wants them in his mouth so badly but, he wouldn’t dare question your plan. He knows you’re going to do right by him. 

“Jagi...” Yoongi pulls in another deep breath to calm himself, resisting the urge to gawk at you, “you’re so beautiful...” 

You’ve moved in closer to him, standing between his thighs in just your leggings before dipping down to kneel on the floor. 

As your nails slowly slide up his legs, you respond, “I wish you knew how beautiful I think you are...maybe then you’d be able to see what I see.” 

Yoongi’s lips part in awe of what you just said, feeling very overwhelmed before the two of you have even started.  

“You think_” He exhales, eyes fluttering with the sensation of your fingers inching closer to the inseam of his jeans, “…you think I’m beautiful?”

Your fingers tickle over his inner thighs before crawling over his unstable hips and towards his zipper. As you reach his erection, your eyes travel to his, catching a glimpse of his fucked out expression. His pupils are dilated, his lips are swollen, cheeks pink and puffy like fresh cherry blossoms, his fingers twitch on the arm rests; he’s growing desperate with anticipation.

“You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen Min Yoongi. I wouldn’t be caught dead on my knees for any other man…” You whisper, holding his gaze as you yank down his zipper, the motion causing a gasp to leave his lips. The relief is minimal but, Yoongi is grateful that his swollen dick finally has the room fully stand at attention. 

You deserve his full attention.

“You’re beautiful…” Is all he manages, his ability to form coherent sentences slowly slipping away.

His hips are lifted at your instructions as you pull his jeans and boxers from his hips, leaving him completely exposed to you. Yoongi feels a little insecure, his got a bit of a tummy on him as he’s been skipping the gym and, eating nothing but takeout the past few months. He didn’t shave either and, he’s waiting for some sort of negative reaction from you but, instead he feels the sharp pull of arousal in his stomach as you start kissing up his thighs.

“I should punish you for the way you’ve treated yourself this past week…” You admonish before taking the tender flesh of his inner thigh between your teeth, sucking hard enough to make him squirm.

Yoongi’s breath catches as he winces from the pain, his thigh jumping away from the sensation, “I’m sorry…I’m really sorry.”

Your tongue laves over the battered flesh before you make your way to the other thigh, taking time to blow cool air over his engorged dick. He shivers whilst thinking of what he would give to be in your mouth right now but, he won’t beg. He won’t try and sway you in any direction; he wants your full control.

“I told you last weekend not to talk shit to yourself didn’t I? So you can imagine my surprise when I come in here tonight and, you’re doing just that…you don’t want to disobey me do you?” You coo, pouting your lips before sucking his skin back between your teeth, creating an identical mark on his right thigh.

“Ah-“ He whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut, feeling rather tipsy at the sensation of pain, “No…of course not. I want to listen…”

A dark chuckle leaves your lips as you start placing kisses up his thigh, a wicked sense of delight coursing when his dick twitches towards your mouth, “Oh he wants to listen now does he?  Is it because my lips are so close to your dick?”

Yoongi grips the arm rests, his fingers slipping off due to the sweat created by his palms. Despite the cool temperature of the room, he feels like he’s on fire, he doesn’t think his ever been this turned on in his life.

“No, that’s not the only reason…” His hips jerk along with his stomach trembling when he feels your nails tickle their way over his hips, “I want to be good for you.”

As your nails conclude their teasing over his lower stomach, you let them rest against his hip bones as you ask your next question, “Mm, then you’ll sit there like a good boy while I have my way with you then won’t you?”

Before he can answer your question, a ragged whimper leaves his throat when you scratch your nails harshly across his soft pale skin, leaving aggravated lines of red as you do.

“Oh my fucking god…” He mumbles, eyes watering when his dick does the impossible and swells further, “I’d sit here like a good boy no matter what you wanted to do to me…”

He confesses, his faded chestnut hair sticking to his forehead, his eyes completely blown out with lust.

You prepare your nails to scratch him again and tickle them up the sides of his body, taking a moment to brush your fingertips over his pert nipples. Yoongi’s body is really sensitive but, his chest in particular always garnishes a special reaction from him. Your nails settle right where his heart is and, you can actually feel it pounding against his chest, “I want you to touch yourself for me…can you do that?”

Yoongi lets out a shaky breath and, once again you interrupt his answer by dragging your nails across his chest, digging in harder this time.

He actually feels his dick leaking at the sensation whilst his body arches off the desk chair, craving more of your touch.

“I have to go slow…I’m so hard right now, I don’t know how I’m gonna last….” He warns, his eyes shifting in uncertainty and, you take the time to admire how utterly innocent he looks.

Yoongi may be intimidating to those who don’t know him but, to you, with you, he is the softest man you’ve ever known.

But now isn’t the time for tenderness, you know what he needs.

He needs to be ruined.

So you’ll do just that…

Your hand comes out to wrap around his neck which elicits another gasp from his pink lips, his body going limp at your touch. You squeeze gently, just enough to slow the air circulation and lean in so your lips can brush against his.

“You’ll last because I tell you to last, because this dick belongs to me doesn’t it?”

Yoongi’s face is weak with pleasure as he nods eagerly, a small whimper leaving his lips, “Uh huh…”

A smirk forms on your lips as you squeeze his throat a little tighter, his dick jumping in response, “Say it…”

“My…my dick is yours jagi…” He gasps when you use your free hand to brush gently over his aching nipples, the sensation a huge contrast from what you’re doing to his throat.

“Your cum is mine…” You egg him on, dragging the pad of your thumb gently over either of his nipples.

“Ugh fuck…” He curses, his eyes locking onto yours and lull in and out of focus, “My cum is yours…everything is yours…”

Licking your lips, you loosen your grip slightly, giggling wickedly as he tries to reach for your lips, “You want me to hurt you while you jack off baby?”

Yoongi swears you must be sent from heaven, or maybe hell, either way, he’s dancing on the edges of euphoria at the moment. It’s like you know exactly what he’s thinking, he’s never known anyone who can anticipate his desires so well.

“Mhm…” He hums, the sound edging very close to a coo.

There is something that crosses your mind, something you hadn’t thought of before this began: was Yoongi capable of going into subspace? Because the glossy eyed expression, the yearning look, the pliant posture and slack jaw, everything about him looks like he’s heading in that direction.

“Yeah? You want me to hurt you really good?”

His mouth falls open as soon as you slide your cupped hand up his throat, your thumb brushing tenderly against his lips, “Yeah…please hurt me…”

Oh fuck, he’s right there…

“Suck…” You command gently, staring into his eyes, which have started to glaze over at your touch. He takes your thumb in his mouth, sucking eagerly, holding your eyes for approval, laving his tongue against the tip of it. “show me how you touch yourself baby…”

He nods, still sucking on your thumb before removing his sweaty hand down to his aching length. Yoongi’s eyes squeeze shut as he slowly curves a fist around himself, and, his leg twitches when he starts stroking his dick.

The relief is instant and, you feel the vibrations of his moans against your thumb. As he works himself up, you move away from him to kneel back between his knees.

His breathing is heavier, his toes are fidgeting against the floor but, his eyes refuse to leave yours, even as they threaten to close from pleasure.

You slowly tease your nails down his chest, over his ribs and hips, dangerously close to his dick, over his now bruised inner thighs and, all the way down to his ankles.

He brushes his thumb over his tip, a small whimper leaving his lips as his eyes squeeze close at the sensation. He’s already close, you’ve been winding him up for the past 45 minutes but, he holds on desperately, not wanting this to end.

“What do you think about when you touch yourself Yoongi?”

He takes another shaky breath and, does his best to swallow properly, despite his mouth being completely dry, “Lately, all I think about is you…I don’t even watch porn that often…”

Before you ask another question, you dig your nails into his calves and slowly begin dragging them up his legs. His whole body jerks in response, his hand faltering over his tip, he has to pull away for a moment, he almost came right there.

“ohmygod….” He keens, mostly to his self, his wide eyes looking away for a moment while he desperately tries to get a hold of himself.

“Oh but, you do watch porn? You’re cumming for other women then?” You tease and, Yoongi would panic that you’re actually upset but, the playful smirk on your face tells him that you’re just giving him a hard time.

“I don’t watch women…” He breathes, a ghost of smirk now playing on his own lips, “I watch men mostly, women in porn are annoying…they’re all annoying honestly…”

This makes you giggle but, you feel yourself growing wetter at the thought of Yoongi, getting off to men.

“So you think of me sometimes?” You’re still teasing him and, he knows you’re fishing but, he’s so into you he doesn’t care; he’d write a fucking thesis on you if he had the time.

He shakes his head, stifling a moan as you drag your nails over his hips when his hand reaches the tip of his dick; he really doesn’t know how he’s going to last.

“No…you don’t get it…” His breath is fucked and, his dick is so hard he wants to cry, it takes everything in him not to beg, “I think about you all the time…I’ve been thinking about you, ever since I came to your house that first time…”

Lust swirls deep in your panties; you don’t know how much longer you’re going to be able to do this either, his dick looks so good, hard, swollen and aching to be fucked. But you haven’t finished ruining him yet, you want him completely desperate before you give in.

“When I pulled your hair the first time?” You smirk, your hands travelling up his body once again as he nods, licking over his lips.

“Ye…yeah…that’s why I left so quickly, you made me hard…” He gasps again as your hand makes it back up to his neck, “…I…are you gonna choke me again?” His eyes look wary, almost frightened, the motions on his dick slowing again, “I don’t….jagi, I don’t know what to do…I don’t want to disappoint you but, if you…if you choke me again, I don’t…”

You smirk, tightening your hand around his neck before he can finish his sentence, “You’re gonna what baby?

“Oh fuck-“ He squeaks, his eyes starting to water when he squeezes over his tip, trying to halt his release, “Jagiya…I can’t…I can’t hold it, you have to stop…”

“Hold it, or I’ll tie you to this chair and leave you like this…” You hiss into his mouth, and his brow furrows in desperation but, his balls tighten further at your threat. The hand around his neck doesn’t cease its constriction and, his hand actually begins to move faster on his length.

His starting to learn…

“Good boy…don’t stop…” You kiss at his lips but, not long enough for him to respond to you, his whole body on fire and shivering at the same time.

Yoongi nods in determination, a shaky breath leaving his nose as he follows orders. He tenses however as you stand up, your left hand coming up to comb through his hair, which is matted against his forehead with sweat.

“Please…” He whimpers but, its not for permission to cum, you know exactly what it’s for.

Curling your fingers around the roots of his hair you tug hard enough to push his head back against the desk chair and, before he can even react, you use your other hand to tighten around his throat.

That’s it, that’s what breaks him.

Tears collect at the corner of his eyes as they widen like saucers, his mouth falling back open as he tries to cry out but, he’s too hoarse to do so.

“Y/N please…baby…baby please, pleasefuckme, pleasefuckme, I can’t…I need you...“ He’s completely lost it, he’s rambling, his eyes aren’t even in focus.

He isn’t even really looking at you but, you know you’ve got him, he’s made it there.

In less than ten seconds, he’s out of the desk chair and onto the pull out couch. He trembles beneath you; his hands reach up as if the lack of contact is painful.

Leaning down to him, you press a tender kiss to his lips to which he responds like a starving man.

“Please jagi…please I need you so bad, I’m sorry I need you, I need you…I really fucking need you…” He sounds like his about to cry and you nod, your tenderness returning just as quickly as it left, your panties pushed haphazardly off of your hips

“Hey…hey...I’m coming angel, I’m coming, just breath for me ok? I’m going to make it better…” You coo, pressing him gently into the squeaky mattress of the pull out couch, the cool sheets welcome against his hot skin.

He nods, not fully able to focus as he wraps his hands around your hips. You press another kiss to his lips before your final command is given, “As soon as I sink down onto you, I want you to cum ok? Can you do that for me?”

Yoongi’s bleary gaze finally locks onto your eyes, his body weakened with desire, “I’ll do anything for you…”

You can’t even recognize his voice, it’s so small, so weak and, so in…

You can’t say it.

Not yet.

But you can feel it, its bubbling right underneath the surface.

As soon as you sink down on him, you give him a few good strokes of your drenched heat before his whole body arches off the bed. Yoongi’s face is buried into your neck, his dull nails dig into your hips as he lets out a cry that shatters you.

You can feel how much he’s cumming as shot after shot of his release paints the inside of you. He’s cumming so hard that he starts crying, his silent whimpering enough to send you over the edge with him.

“don’t stop…don’t stop…” He cries into your neck, holding you so tight to him that it restricts your movements.

All you can do is nod as white hot pleasure takes over your senses, your orgasm just as intense given the events of the last hour.

Yoongi completely loses himself, he cums again, his hips glued to yours as he cries for you. Part of him would feel embarrassed but, he’s too fucked out to care. He’s too in…

Not yet.

He can’t say it, but it’s in his throat.

Its in his heart.

God, he’s never felt so good in his life, he never knew it could be this good.

“Y/N…” He croaks when your hips start settling down. His face doesn’t leave your neck but, he starts sucking gently on it, trying to ground himself.

He feels like he’s floating.

“Baby…” Yoongi practically coos, hands glued to your skin, still sniffling as his tears slowly come to a halt.

The smile that graces your face is brilliant and full of adoration. You slowly pull off of him, “I’m right here angel, I got you…”

You want to get him in a more comfortable position so you can hold him but when you try to pull away to do so, he panics, his glossy eyes widening in fear.

“No…no…” He tries to protest but, you kiss his forehead to reassure him

“Shh…I’m not going anywhere, I just want to hold you…come here for me…” You murmur, kissing his forehead again.

He’s suspicious, not thinking clearly but, he trusts you, not moving more than an inch away from your body as you shift the two of you to sit against the back of the couch. Yoongi scrambles to get closer to you, making himself smaller as he lays his upper half into your chest, tucking his face back into your neck.

“I got you baby boy, I got you…” You whisper, hoping the soft blue light in the studio will soothe him further along with gentle kisses pressed to his skin, “You did so good for me angel…”

Silent tears fall down his cheeks as he tucks further into you, “I did good?”

He checks again, feeling so vulnerable and, yet so safe at the same time.

You smile, pressing a kiss to his sweaty forehead, your nails gently combing his hair back, “You did amazing. You were so good for me.”

His small mouth curves in a dreamy smile, still trembling but, feeling slightly more grounded, “You keep calling me angel….you’re the angel…my angel.”

“You can’t steal my nickname…” You giggle, causing his small smile to turn into a gummier smile as he nuzzles your neck.

“So pretty…” Is all he can think of to say but, you know he’s talking about your laugh.

God, you feel like crying right now though, you could have never guessed that you could feel this strongly about another person.

When a comfortable silence falls over you, you take a moment to notice how banged up he really is. His body is decorated with pinks and purples, scratches, bites, a hicky or two; you really did a number on him and, you want to take care of his skin before it gets too uncomfortable.

“Yoongi? Baby, I need to put something on your scratches, I have cooling gel in my bag-“ You begin to say but, his eyes quickly widen again and, the same panicked look returns.

“Don’t…don’t go-“ He urges, holding you tighter.

You know it’s a symptom of him being in subspace, he doesn’t actually think your leaving but, a lack of contact with you makes him nervous.

“I’ll come right back, my bag is on the floor…” You assure him gently, pressing a kiss between his eyes.

His eyes flutter shut at your kiss and, his hands tighten on you one last time before, he kind of gets a grip on himself.

He knows he’s being a little unreasonable but, he’s never felt like this before, he feels intoxicated and so incredibly needy.

“Ok…” He reluctantly agrees

Another kiss is placed to his forehead before you move quickly to retrieve the gel from your purse. As soon as you sit back down with him, he immediately wraps himself around you, hiding away in your neck as you start to apply the gel to his skin. His breathing is beginning to even out as he melts into you, letting you take care of him.

Like you always do…

“How do you feel?” You whisper into his hair as you smooth the substance over his neck, which has reddened slightly.

“I feel high…” He muses, sounding a little bit more like himself.

His response causes you to giggle, “I’m that good huh?”

Yoongi smirks, kissing your neck slowly, “You invented sex…”

Another giggle bubbles over your lips, as you pull the sheet over Yoongi’s body, “Do you feel better then?”

“Mhm…” He hums into your neck, kissing up the length of it before finding your lips. A soft kiss is placed there before he speaks again, “I wish I could articulate better but, you fucked me stupid jagi…”

Smiling into the kiss, you comb a hand through his hair, scratching gently at the scalp, “Don’t worry about it, take your time, I’m right here if you need me…”

The two of you stay like this for quite some time, holding each other, as you slowly settle back down. Yoongi stays quiet for the most part, doing his best to center his thinking which proves to be quite easy as the only thing he can really think about is you.

A half an hour passes before he finally speaks up, feeling the need to explain something to you.

“I used to live here…” He murmurs, face still tucked into your chest

Your brow furrows at his statement, “Here? At the studio?”

He shakes his head, “It wasn’t always a studio, ten years ago it was a halfway house for troubled youth…”

The beating of your heart stalls but, as you open your mouth to respond, Yoongi continues, his voice stabilizing finally, “My parents are not supportive of what I do. When I was a teenager, we used to fight all the time about it. They tried to force me to stop but, I never listened. I snuck out to do music all the time and, started failing out of school. One night, my father came in and freaked out on me, he destroyed my lyric pages and, threw everything away. The next day, I came home from school and, they had kicked me out. My older brother tried to stop them but, they wouldn’t listen...”

Your chest feels tight as you try your hardest not to let your emotions overflow; you never knew how much Yoongi has endured.

“Sejin, the guy at the front desk, he’s a friend of my older brother,” He rasps, placing another kiss to your skin as a means to soothe himself, “he took me in with nothing but my old laptop and, the clothes on my back. My parents wouldn’t let me take anything. I finished school in the city and, ended up landing a scholarship at our university, that’s where I met Hobi and, reconnected with Namjoon. Once he found out what happened to me, he insisted I move in with him while I got my degree. The rest you already know…”

You hold him tighter, kissing his forehead for the 100th time, “I’m so sorry Yoongi, I didn’t know you went through all of that. You’re so strong for pushing towards your dreams despite everything being so hard for you…”

He smiles gently and the wise look has settled back into his eyes as he looks up at you, “You see why I get a little nervous sometimes now…I’m so worried that my parents are going to be right.”

Nodding, you thumb over his cheek, “I do but, please know that you’ve already proved your parents wrong. After everything you’ve endured, you still keep pushing and, as long as you keep dreaming, you’ll never fail…”

A sudden kiss is pressed to your lips then, which Yoongi turns slow and sweet.

Just like him…

“On my worst days, I tell myself that all of this will be worth it someday…” He whispers against your lips, continuing to kiss at them

“It will be, everything will pay off...”

“It’s already started to…ever since my classroom switched…” He smiles, brushing a piece of hair from your face.

Intense emotion blooms fully in your heart when he responds and, you have to shake your head to keep yourself from crying, “Does that mean you’ll be my date tomorrow then?”

He chuckles, his eyes brightening up significantly as he leans into your lips,

“Tomorrow and, any other time you’ll have me.”

if you let me, here’s what i’ll do: i’ll take care of you

[baldrambo]

On Joyce Byers....

Joyce Byers is a bad ass.  So why is she handled with kid gloves by everyone?  This is a bit of a companion discussion to my Hopper post from a few weeks ago. Like my prior meta, I will discuss what I believe to be truths about Joyce and her arc, which don’t appear to be aligned with most analyses of her character that I’ve seen elsewhere. I will make 5 assertions and address each of them below the cut because (as per the norm) this got really long and I am not trying to clog up people’s dashboards.

Assertion 1: We have no canon evidence that Lonnie was physically abusive and making Joyce his victim does a disservice to her characterization

Assertion 2: What Bob represented to Joyce was more important to her arc than Bob himself (aka Bob/Joyce were not really a good match)

Assertion 3: Making fun of/being frustrated by Joyce’s magnet obsession misses the point of her arc in S3, which was about her pro-activity rather than reactivity

Assertion 4: Joyce inappropriately attempts to compartmentalize Hopper (aka Joyce needs to let Lonnie and Bob go if she’s to ever move on)

Assertion 5: Joyce is not a delicate cinnamon roll in need of our protection she is a BAMF and should be treated as such.

Assertion 1:

Our first introduction to Joyce is as a small, mousy, anxious, chain-smoking single mom who….can’t find her keys.  And not because she is is careless. She has literally SO much on her plate at any given moment that the location of her keys is trivial until it’s not.  She works long hours at a low-wage job to support her boys.  She really has no life outside of work, paying bills, and cleaning house.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  She is just barely scraping by. 

And yet we learn through flashbacks fairly quickly after Will’s disappearance that despite working long hours, despite the constant stress….she still manages to find time to parent her boys.  And not just be any old parent, mind you.  Joyce Byers is a good parent.  When Will is out in Castle Byers she doesn’t just barge in.  She respects his personal space, remembers a unique nerdy password, and waits for him to tell her that she can enter.  She then trusts his judgment when he says that he can handle watching Poltergeist. This is later juxtaposed by the scene in Nancy’s bedroom with Jonathan where Karen attempts to enter the bedroom after Nancy has had to lock it.  Jonathan looks at Nancy, a little shocked, and says “she doesn’t knock?” Which is weird to him, of course, because Joyce would always knock.  Now lets contrast Joyce, who is Mother of the Year, with Lonnie Byers who is a Grade A Piece of Shit™. He abandoned the family and hasn’t seen them in years.  And when he was around, he spent his time being a deadbeat, calling his son a faggot, and trying to force his boys into being “manlier” and more mainstream.

We first meet Lonnie in 1x2 when Jonathan drives out to Indianapolis to confirm that Will is in fact, not with his father.  When Lonnie’s girlfriend answers the door, Jonathan pushes past her and into the home, shouting for his brother.  Lonnie then comes in from outside, grabs Jonathan, and pushes him up against a wall.  Only then does he realize it’s his son.  Lonnie hadn’t seen Jonathan in so long that he almost didn’t recognize him, and initially thought him an intruder. Jonathan angrily shoves Lonnie back, who steps back and laughs. Notably, Jonathan does not appear to fear Lonnie and Lonnie makes no attempt to otherwise assert any other type of physical control over Jonathan. Lonnie talks to him like he’s an adult.

When Lonnie returns in 1x5 for Will’s funeral, he is an immediate negative influence who has Joyce up drinking all night, calls her crazy, and starts sniping at Jonathan about some stupid poster in his bedroom being inappropriate.  However, there is no real confrontation until Joyce finds the flyer in his belongings and realizes he is attempting to collect on Will’s “death.”  She screams at Lonnie and holds her ground when he shouts back.  She shoves him. She gets in his face and throws his bag at him.  And then little 5′2 Joyce Byers successfully throws a grown ass man out of her house.  He never raises a hand to her.

This is not a Lonnie Byers apology piece.  Lonnie Byers is a shitty dad, shitty partner, shitty person.  I think an entirely separate piece could be written on the emotional abuse of his boys (although in the 80′s Midwest much of that would be considered normal, but that’s another essay).  But there is nothing to suggest that Lonnie ever hit them, or Joyce.  If the Duffers wanted Lonnie to be physically abusive, they would make it obvious, no?

The most clear example of this? Neil Hargrove. When he enters Billy’s bedroom in 2x8, he has complete control.  Over Billy, his wife, the conversation.  He overtly strikes Billy, humiliates him, and it’s clear that Billy fears him.  Susan Hargrove also fears him, and she stands in the background for the entire confrontation, avoiding eye contact, saying nothing.  The only time she attempts to intercede is to diffuse the situation, diffuse Neil, when he commands that Billy apologize and quickly shuts up when it’s clear her efforts didn’t work.  She then exits the room, first allowing him to leave the room before her. The dynamics here are light years from Joyce/Lonnie/Jonathan.

Ok so.  Why am I bringing all of this up? Because, imo, turning Lonnie into a physical abuser cuts at the heart of Joyce’s characterization.  Joyce Byers is a fighter.  That’s what Bob loved about her.  “You fight back,” he told her, in a somewhat awestruck voice.  Joyce is not a Susan Hargrove. None of this is to suggest that Susan is to blame for what she has gone through, or that somehow Joyce is better for not being like her. I contrast them because the Duffer brothers do. Joyce will steamroll anyone and anything that gets in her way to protect her boys.  If she’s on a mission….if she is trying to save someone…watch out.  Making Lonnie a physical abuser so he can be a plot device, or because it makes it easier to hate and villainize him upsets the core of Joyce’s character. And it changes the entire show.

Assertion 2:

Much of Joyce’s inner strength shines through in S2.  When S2 begins, Joyce can’t leave Will’s side and still worries about him incessantly.  She’s overbearing and “struggles to function” whenever she is not with him.  She is forced to re-live the horrors of what her and her family went through every time she goes to Hawkins Lab and worse…she has to place her trust in the very same people who nearly ripped her family apart.  Yet, she doesn’t give up, she soldiers on for Jonathan and Will.  But so much like S1, S2 Joyce is helpless.  She is unable to control what is happening around her.  The events of S1-S2 make her reactionary, she gets dragged along by the plot instead of driving the plot.

But there is one bright spot of happiness for her…..Bob.  He is the exact opposite of Lonnie in every way.  He is kind, thoughtful, hardworking, honest, and trustworthy.  He put Joyce first, he tried to bond with and be a parent to Will and Jonathan. And he was willing to jump in to the fray when he had no idea what was going on to save her, save everyone despite being absolutely terrified.  Bob Newby. Superhero.

There are some early warning signs that perhaps….we as the audience are not supposed to view this as the perfect match? Jonathan, in particular, doesn’t seem to approve at all, in fact, it downright confuses him.  He confides in Will that he doesn’t understand what Joyce sees in him and later gets agitated when he learns that Bob has stayed the night.  Hopper, too, seems to struggle with it. And while a lot of that can probably be chalked up to the early signs of jealousy, his forced “I’m happy for you” appears to be at least somewhat tied to his inability to take her dating “Bob the Brain” seriously.  Why drop all these hints if it doesn’t mean anything?

It’s the conversation she has with Bob in 2x2 on Halloween that really cements Joyce’s arc and Bob’s central purpose.  While they’re dancing to Kenny Rogers, he starts prattling on about moving to Maine.  He’s in love with her, he knows being in Hawkins is hard for her.  So why not start over again and be a family? “We aren’t a normal family.” She tells Bob.  His response is simple: “It could be.” And that moment plants that seed for Joyce.  What if they COULD be a happy, nuclear family?  What if they COULD leave all that trauma behind them and finally find safety and security?  She starts thinking on it so much that by the end of S2 when Bob brings it up again, she’s all but ready. And the Duffers have confirmed, if Bob had survived she would have gone with him to Maine.

But here’s the thing: what if someone else besides Bob had planted the idea in her head? Would she have wanted it any less?  Or consider, was it really Bob himself that drove her desire, or was it always lying dormant there waiting to be activated?  If she had started dating Hopper after S1 instead and HE had been the one to make the suggestion, would she have desired it any less?  Did she really love Bob himself, or the idea of him?

It’s easy to romanticize Bob because he seemed perfect, he represented the happy ending that Joyce wants, that WE WANT for her, but here’s the thing.  There is no perfect guy.  You can’t move a few states away and leave behind Demogorgons and another dimension that nearly killed your son.  That stays with you wherever you go, and you have to face it and deal with it.  You can’t run away from trauma, and Joyce has to realize this.  Joyce is chasing a mirage. Perhaps Bob was kind of a mirage, too. 

Assertion 3:.

The Joyce we see at the end of s2 seems….like she’s going to be okay.  She has her boys, Hopper’s friendship.  She’s lost Bob but the Gate is closed now, everyone is safe (or so everyone thinks).  But then there’s S3 Joyce.  She’s lonely, isolated, sad, discontent, and restless.  The kids are trying to move on from the events of S1-S2.  But she’s unable to.  She’s unable to move on from Bob, from her fear that her boys could still be in danger, from the feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong again and she won’t be able to stop it. 

So Joyce preemptively reshapes her arc.  She decides she is going to put her own house on the market.  Bob may not be coming with her but goddammit she is going to move anyway and find safety somewhere else.  When she notices the magnets fall off the fridge she is not going to wait and see what happens, SHE is going to go research magnets and solenoids and weird science stuff she doesn’t understand and SHE is going to figure it out and SHE is going bring it to Hopper before shit hits the fan.  And when they call the military, SHE is not going to wait around for them to show up and save her kids.  She’s going to take action herself.

Thus, Joyce is driving much of the plot in S3, rather than being dragged along by the plot as she was in S1-S2.  She is not focusing all of her time and energy on Will and his safety, and reacting to where he is and what he’s doing, she is able to focus on Hopper, El, the Party, the bigger picture.  Will kept her focus narrowed, magnets expanded them.

And perhaps most significantly, the magnet obsession is what ultimately saved the day.  Joyce is the hero of S3.  Think about who saved the day in S1-S2.  Who were the heroes?  El and Hopper.  In S1, El sacrificed herself to kill the Demogorgon and save the Party and Hopper resuscitated Will.  In S2, El and Hopper closed the Gate.  In S3, who saved the day? El?  She had no power.  She wasn’t even the one fighting the Meat Flayer. Hopper?  He was trapped on the platform.  Who closed the Gate and killed the “Meat Flayer?”  Joyce.  By herself. This ended the threat, this stopped the “Meat Flayer,” this saved El and the Party.

I think it’s easy to miss all of this due to the tonal shift in S3, which added some silliness to the plot lines that didn’t exist in S1-S2.  On the surface, obsessing about magnets instead of your son seems ridiculous.  But this shift gave Joyce’s character a chance to breathe, a chance to grapple with her own feelings, what she wants, it gave her a chance to just be Joyce instead of Mom™.  So S3 is about her, instead of what is happening to her. 

And i think, ultimately, this tonal shift in S3 is what allowed that to happen.  If the circumstances in S3 were the same as S1-S2, then the Duffers wouldn’t have had this freedom.  If we want to see Joyce grow as a character, there has to be time and energy spent on her away from her kids and away from the same closed loop of S1-S2. Which brings me to my next point.

Assertion 4:

Jopper.  You can’t expect me to write this long ass meta on Joyce Byers and not talk about Hopper, right?

In early S3 there is obviously a marked shift in her relationship with Hopper.  There are no longer secrets (El) or other relationships (Bob) that they can use to hold each other at arm’s length anymore.  There are no other adults in town now who understand what they’ve been through.  Joyce is effectively co-parenting El with Hopper and it’s clear that he not only asks her for advice often but that they spend a lot of time together.  This did not happen between 1 and 2.  It’s made fairly clear upfront that Hopper is hopelessly in love with her, but what of Joyce?  She’s more difficult to read.  And this is due in large part to the fact that she is more complicated than Hopper and her feelings are more complicated than his.

I am not here to argue about whether I think Joyce loves Hopper.  This entire analysis is based on the assumption that she does because I think the Duffers and Winona have given us more than enough to go on to draw that conclusion.  What I AM here to argue, however, is that Joyce is still grappling with what she wants and (inappropriately so) is attempting to compartmentalize Hopper.

Adult relationships are complicated and particularly for a character like Joyce, who has been to Hell and back a few times, there is added complexity that has to be dealt with and worked through.  She’s been in prior relationships before.  She knows what it’s like to be in love and she’s felt the pain and grief that comes along with it.  She’s been divorced already, had a spouse that abandoned her, children  to prioritize over her own love life, and trauma stemming both from the events of 1983-1985 and separate from it.  Joyce, especially, is fresh off the train of losing a love interest who she got close to very quickly.  You can imagine her hesitation about leaping forwards again with someone else who could die.

There’s your backdrop for Joyce in S3.  Throw a healthy dollop of she has feelings for Hopper and then point blank ask her: “What do you want, Joyce?”  She could probably tell you that she wants to feel safe again.  That she wants to be free of the pain and grief of losing Bob and what happened in S1-S2.  If you really can get her to open up (or if you are a mind reader like Murray) you would also find out that she is still holding onto that desire to have a normal, happy family which includes a “nice guy to settle down with.”  The thing about Hopper is that he fulfills all of this for her, just messily.  Joyce is still looking for that coloring book of life to be filled in by an artist (Bob). Hopper fills it in like a 3 year old with disorganized scribbles that cover the picture but can’t quite stay in the lines.  Lonnie is easy: he never even filled in the lines to begin with.

Hopper shares personality traits with both Bob and Lonnie.  Like Bob, he makes her feel safe, she can trust him, she knows he cares about her, feels more than friendship for her.  But he’s also brash and loud and argumentative and after spending a decade of her life screaming with Lonnie….she doesn’t want that again.  He probably at times DOES “remind her of a bad relationship,” but Hopper is not Lonnie.  He respects her, treats her like an equal, trusts her judgment. But she can’t escape the constant comparisons.

And what I’ve seen from a lot of the fandom are the same attempts to shove Hopper into the “Lonnie” box or the “Bob” box that Joyce keeps trying to do.  S1-S2 Hopper is in the “Bob” box.  We like S1-S2 Hopper. But S3 Hopper, man.  He is in the “Lonnie” box.  He yells and stamps his feet.  This Hopper isn’t “good enough” for Joyce.

But here’s my radical proposition: Hopper IS good enough for Joyce if he is who she wants.  And he is what she wants.  But she needs to let Lonnie and Bob go first.

Lonnie and Bob still have a hold on her and if she is going to be able to take that leap forward with Hopper she needs to put their ghosts to rest.  She couldn’t save Bob, but maybe she can save Hopper.  Maybe Hopper isn’t perfect and has a temper, but that is ok because he loves her and respects her unlike Lonnie. I think if we see Joyce work through this in S4 and join her on her journey of making the decision to be with Hop and making that choice FOR HERSELF rather than the plot or some other force making that decision for her, the payout is gonna be huge.

Assertion 5:

Finally, I wanted to touch on the common theme of this whole analysis: that despite this inner strength, despite the growth and change her character has undergone, she is still largely handled by the ST fandom with kid gloves.  Like she is someone that can’t take care of herself, and who we need to step in and defend and protect against….the world.  Here are a few examples I’ve seen over and over:

1) Mischaracterizing S3 Hopper as an “abuser” that Joyce needs “protection” from, much like she needed “protection” from Lonnie. 

2) Attempting to turn Jonathan into her protector/her keeper.  

3) Defending her when she is in the wrong because she is Mom™ (see i.e. standing Hopper up for their date and being non-apologetic about it.)

4) Analyzing “what is best for Joyce” without thinking about her canon feelings or what SHE wants

As I dissected above, Joyce never needed protection from Lonnie. She doesn’t need protection from Hopper. Or anyone.  She doesn’t need Jonathan stepping in for her and she does not need us the fandom, to decide FOR her what she wants and what she can and cannot do.  All this does is, ultimately, build her arc around men and strip her of her agency as a character.

All the canon evidence suggests that she is a bad ass.  She curb stomps assholes on the regular and saves the day, multiple times.  So why is it next to impossible to find any discussion of Joyce that doesn’t involve complaints of what man (Duffer or otherwise) is wronging her at any moment?  Is it because it’s just easier to pidgeonhole characters, particularly female characters, into villain/oppressor and “the good guy?”  Because if we open her up into complexity outside of being our cinnamon roll mom we worry she could disappoint us? Because we cannot accept that a good female character doesn’t need protection?  What happens if Joyce is just a complex person who is both mom and badass? Focused on her kids and herself? Deserving of her own life and respect for her autonomy? Is both selfish and selfless?

Joyce, imo, has one of the most compelling arcs on the entire show.  We are introduced to her as a Mom who is barely holding it together already and then loses her son, sending her into a spiral that her inner strength alone carries her through.  After nearly losing her kid again, she loses her boyfriend horrifically, and just when she thinks they may have finally escaped it all permanently she has to single-handedly close the Gate, torching the only other man she loves in the process. So she packs her shit up and moves her family away from the danger.  She goes from the most reactive character on the show to, perhaps, the most proactive one.  

She may not have “powers,” she may not be able to effectively wield a gun, but she can knee an asshole in the crotch and that makes her a hero to me. I say let her be everything she is, allow her to explore her own wants even if they are imperfect, let her make mistakes and stand up for and protect herself, and let her be her own person outside of the character arcs of other male characters.

Andddddd end scene.

[popculturebuffet]

Reviewcaps: Star Vs: Club Snubbed

Dance week kicks off!  I finally advance in the tomtrospective as Star makes the critical mistake of listening to ponyhead and causes a dad fight that threatens to spill into an international incident unless she and Tom can get along. Tom dosen’t know how to be nice under the cut. 

And we’re back! As I put in my latest amphibia review a combination of a busy few weeks and other things to cover has kept me from doing more reviews, and as such I left this on the backburner. But I decided that just ain’t right so this week, i’m not only bringing back the tomtrospective, but i’m doing a whole bundle of dance themed episodes because as i’ve made clear in the past, and making clear for you I love em. I never went to my own school dances and the one dance I went to for Demolay was fun enough, so that mixed with the shipping, hilariaty and usual good quality brought to these affairs made me want to do a theme week after Owl House last week, but ennui made me reconsider. So now i’m re-reconsidering. Lucky you! With that we can move on.  Unlike the last few tom reviews, this one.. takes place after about 80 pounds of plot have happened, so it’s time for a fuck ton of exposition to refresh your memories:  PREVIOUSLY ON STAR VS:

OH GOD WHY OKAY i GET IT THE GAG’S OVER... MOVING ON TO THE ACTUAL EXPOSITION. YEESH But yeah since we could largely sidestep the main story since tom came in literally before it in season 1 and it was irrelvant to him in season 2, I have a lot to cover.  Over the last two seasons, Toffee, a septarian warrior who assinated moon’s mom despite her almost brokering peace between monsters and mewman when Moon was just a teenager, plotted and schemed to destroy all magic, having star nuke the wand to spilit it in half, manupliating ludo from the inside of his half and then using his new existance as pure magic to slowly destroy it from the inside while using ludo as a puppet when necessary. Meanwhile , Star started to catch feelings for Marco just as Marco was getting somewhere with his crush Jackie Lynn Thomas, who star was being his wing man with unaware of her own feelings. This came to a head when a dance, yes another one, happened where Jackie asked Marco out on their first proper date, Star was jealous but couldn’t figure out why and this distracted her enough to let Ludo sneak in with his army of rats and then take the book.  Stars parents, in a suprising move for her mom more than her dad, accepted what happened and trusted her, though Moon started covertly working to get the book back under the nose of her allies in the magical high comission. Meanwhile Toffee revealed himself, while Star finally did realize her feelings for marco and proceded to supress them.  This all came to a head in the last two episodes of season 2: First Star had her song day, which meant having a song wirtten about her which was honest.. a bit too honest as it revealed her parents hiding the book, leading to the people being upset with our king and queen and the commission understadanbly being pissed Moon didn’t tell them sooner. Oh and the song also, without star’s consent, revealed she’s intrested in marco... right in front of Marco. And this part is actually really important to today’s episode but we’ll get to that.  Star continued to deny having feelings for Marco instead of working through them as the school year ended, while Moon and the comisson lead a raid on the monster castle, which will also be important later, TOffe was headquartered in. Things quickly went pear shaped, with Toffee easily murdering most of the comission, including moon by sucking out their life force to increase his own power, since their all made of magic, and only lekmet, the comisson’s wise sorta leader and team healer, surivived, using the last of his own life force to save moon before ending up as a pile of dust and a horn with Moon quickly escaping with the rest of her allies.. and Toffee omniously saying he was coming for Star and his finger.  Moon naturally panicked and told star they were leaving, possibly forever, for her own saftey, and Star confessed how she felt to Marco.. in front of Jackie> Which is never dealt with even when Jackie comes back. 

Also this confession isn’t dealt with until near the tail fucking end of season 3. God dammit star vs , just god damn. Anyways Moon tried to both hide star and ressurect her commrades, while a miserable Marco headed back to mewnit o find her only to get captured with river when Ludo, under toffe’s advisment, took hte castle.. and not under his advisment destroyed the book and it’s keeper and local asshat glossaryck.  Star eventually said “Fuck that” to “Hide and hope he never finds us” moon learned some lessons about racial tolerance she promptly unlearned next season, and Star dove into her wand with Ludo’s help, as Ludo had started to catch on to the frequent blackouts. Turns out that was toffe’s plan as he apparently kills star, and finished off magic and now restored, just casually walks off after easily taking out star’s allies.. including a greiving moon and marco. Also marco punches a whole in his chest. 

But STar manages to restore magic, unlock her butterfly form and reduce Toffee to a puddle of goo which Ludo finished off.. which also means moon’s attempt to dicker Eclipsa out of freedom just got undone. Yayyyy! I mean oh no.. no no I mean yay. She’s the best part of season 3.  So ALLL of that was to get to the status quo at this point: Marco goes home after a few weeks where again, the confession thing? Never brought up, while Star vows to stay to be a better princess. And yeah this does bring up one of Season 3′s biggest issues as despite Marco having dimensional scissors, the show constnatly acts like he can’t you know visit or vice versa. They just use the other dimension thing as a lazy excuse to write the earth side cast out even though....

I went with a Picard  one because why not. I get it being HARD for either ot make time for the other.. but make that a PLOT POINT instead of saying “oh you have to pick one”. Because it makes no fucking sense. Especially since star can still CALL THEM, so there’s no sense in them being absent from each other’s lives. Just schedule. Jesus. And it only gets WORSE from there.  Yeah see Season 3 is where the quality starts to get... 50/50. And unlike Amphibia where the last few weeks before marcy have been more one mediocre episode and one great episode the qulaity here is more “some great episodes, some utter abominations of episodes that destroy character or any semblance of plot” and some just okay ones too. Thankfully the first few from the season we have to cover for Tom, for the boy, are really good.. but we’ll get into the shit soon enough.. and somebody’s gotta shovel it. And so it might as well be me. But for now instead of shoveling horse crap we’re shoveling giant piles of sugar so pitter patter, let’s get at er, this is club snubbed.  It’s 2017, a winter’s ball and the butterfly family.. is actually not doing great, as most of the other kingdoms seem to view them as week for the whole rat invasion thing.. or at least the spider bites do. Yup this is where we meet the king, queen and daughter penelope. Aka two assholes who are dumb and I hate them and their precious daughter who I hope overthrows them. To thorw back to my loud house reviews, I hate them more than rusty. And look at him. LOOK AT HIM. 

The one in the center. Look at him. LOOK AT HIM.  Okay my irational hatred of the little prick, which isn’t entirely irrational aside the spider bites are rude, condescending, and really need to be overthrown so Penelope can take their throne. I just hate htem.. but unlike Rusty they don’t show up as much and that’s literally all I can say nice about htem. Penelope seems nice and I wish she got more screentime and she has an intresting romance we’ll get into in a few episodes, but  they are just.. their the kind of people you don’t want to be trapped in a room with alone for a prolonged amount of time. The kind of married couple other married couples, I conjecture i’m single and very lonely mind, are awkwardly roped into spending time with and then have to get drunk to ignore them sniping at each other or that ends in a who’s afraid of virginia wolfe situation. Thankfully their barely in this episode I just felt like getting my hate out at them since i’m probably not covering surviving the spider-bites for a while.  Anyways while they snipe at River who fires back “They were really big rats’ and I mean.. who does that.. who comes to someone elses house and tells htem they suck under their breath.. I mean rich assholes obviously, I answered my own question there but at least do it at your own house or on the carraige ride home sheesh. Your lucky river didn’t elbow drop both of you. It’s what you deserved.  Okay enough bitching about this stuff, the asshole kingdom, and penelope, along with all the other kingdoms of mewni are here for the silver bell ball, an annual tradition to reinvgorate the ties between kingdoms. It’s also how star and tom met, and that’s the topic of discussion with Star and her best friend, Pony Head... of the pony heads. Why yes a major chacter on this show is a talking horses head who acts like a mean teenage girl. And why no I have no idea where her species food goes or how she digests it, I frankly don’t want to know. Some things are better left unknown.  Anywho yeah this is my first review with ponyhead in it and she’s a divisive character to say the least. Some hate her , some love her, some REALLY hate her.. me.. I find her 50/50. Sometimes she can be really funny and entertaining and a good counterpoint to star, other time she’s obnoxious and a waste of hte wonderful Jenny Slate’s talents. This time she’s more obnoxious as this entire plot is partly her fault, btu we’ll get to that. We do get her and star scoping out the other royals, though Star’s unintresteds since she knows all of them, and Pony is only intersted because Larry kelpbotom got hot.. just like archie. And he’s got abs, just like archie. Two sentences I never would’ve said for years and years but that’s what Riverdale does to you. Back on topic the two talk Tom’s transparent absence and them having met and ponyhead having predicted drama. the two then horse around a bit before moon dickishly shushes them. Star only goes along with it because she’s trying to be a better princess, hence her staying on mewni at all now the danger’s passed, but yeah... even with moon’s backstory this moment just.. isn’t every plesant. Because while her backstory explains al ot, it dosen’t forgive how she treats star at times, as all star was doing here was being a normal teenage girl and not kicking her door down or anything. Star greets the other princes and princesses, including penelope, all of who I wish had more screentime. “Sigh” It’s then we get TOM. Horay!. And his family! Double horay, Queen Wrathmelor Lucitor and King Dave Lucitor. And yes I love how , just like the prince of the underworld is named Tom, the king, even if by marraige presumibly, is named dave. King Dave. I love it. Dave is a normal sized guy while his wife is giant.. and I can conjecture how they had tom but this isn’t hte place for that. The point is their perfectly lovely people, and I like that they zigged from where they were likelky orignally going with tom having abusive parents. INstead as far as I can figure they merley spoiled him and that combined with growing up in the unusual enviroment of the underworld and their own unresolved anger issues meaning they never thought to teach him how to deal with them properly. More on this later.  Anyways tom is here and in shades, because his parents are good people and River warmly greets the lucitors. IT’s time for the ball to get underway. 

Glad you asked. Basically each prince or princess asks each other prine or princess to dance, until everyone's dance with everyone. Simple. However suprisingly for him, Tom picks princess Jags to dance first. It’s then Pony ruins everything because she’s Ponyhead, and i’ts her special life skill. She tells Star tom’s “Club Snubbing” her... basically showing intrest in other girls to specifically act like he isn’t intrested.. which to be fair....

DOES sound like something Tom would do.. and what Pony’s doing to Larry because she’s a terrible person. It isn’t what he’s doing, we’ll get to the why at the right time, but it’s not unfair of star to suspect that. 

So Star decides to get even, pettily, by dancing with rich and talking him up and each keeps picking the other royals.. which worries dave and river because of course it does. And yeah star is being petty here... but I get it and sympahtise with it. Tom’s pulled some really manipulative shit the last few times he’s been around and she’s likely sick of it. She probably even got second hand sick of hearing what he did to marco. 

So she’s probably just fed up with his bullshit.. and she still DOES think he’s cute, as was made clear by his first proper apperance, she’s just tired of him being a jackass about perusing her when she’s no longer intrested. Which is fair. Tom is trying to be better.. but i’ts understandable why Star thinks he’s just still doing the same old shit just on a diffrent day.  So it comes down to both of htem with Moon hoping star dances with tom.. and naturally, still pissy she dances with Manfried , the butterflies butler, who’se delighted.. a bit too happy.. someone call the police.  Anyways Dave and River start to argue over whose club snubbing who.. as I said Tom has his dad, and his moms but again future episodes, anger. Dave is more controlled because he’s had more life experince but it’s clear enough stress can cause him to snap, as we see here.. he just dosen’t have his son’s demonic powers thank god.. he is clearly built under those robes though.. or at least you know skinny but a bit muscular. I mean otherwise Wrath would be a widow after tom’s conception. 

But tom just.. walks out sadly instead of reacting which further pisses star off and she follows. But this time as i’ve been making clear.. Tom has genuinely changed. He’s NOT doing some creepy scheme to manipulate her into taking him back, he learned from last time.. and from song day. See I told you it was important. He figured she was with Marco now, and isn’t mad as he puts it.. he saw it as a wake up call. She’s not into him and probably won’t be.. granted I thought he’d already learned that lesson, but i’ll let it pass. The point is he decided to give her space by not asking her and would’ve if she asked him. He was genuinely trying to be nice and respectful to her. And here’s where I can finally stop shit talking tom for the most part which thank god. I love the guy, I wouldn’t be retrospectiving him if I didn’t love this character and see him as my own surrogate fictoinal son. But I had to be honest and who Tom is at first, isn’t a good person.. but this episode and others give more weight as to the why, as well as show him genuinely TRYING. He wants to be better he just dosen’t know how... as is highlighed with star not wanting to be ignored, and Tom flipping out in a demonic rage  “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE NICE, AT LEAST GIVE ME CREDIT FOR TRYING”.  Which is what I put a pen in earlier with his parents; His parents are genuinely nice good people.. but the underworld is a diffrent, dangerous place with diffrent standards. So they likely didn’t realize their son had a troubling anger problem because of that, because a lot of the underworld is wild and vicious, until he started harassing star and doing something that raised a real red flag passed normal underworld standards. The two then quack quack bicker bicker in the sky, with an extra sized extra angry cloudy. CLOUDY YAY.. until a chair passes throught he window.  Our heroes run in to see the dad fight as esccalated to a wrestling match, and is about to esclate to an international incident. Star, seeing this can’t possibly end well, finally asks tom to dance which he agrees to not wanting to see a large bearded man beat up his dad. Probably how Domink Mysterio felt a few weeks ago honestly. And his entire life.  And then we get the dance.. and it’s fucking gorgeous. It’s slow and methodical, with the two at first doing this reluctnatly.. but as it goes on their walls break and the two genuinely have fun and it turns from two exes stiffly doing a dance to keep their dads from killing each other,... to somethin genuinely romantic and visually gorgeous as butterflies and flames errupt from their repsective feet before carrying them into the air and creating a beautiful tornado together. Disney really knows how to do a good dance sequence... maybe not gay representation until last week, and even then they had to be dragged into it more on that another time, but .. damn if they can’t animate pretty. It’s a genuinely beautiful sequence and easily tops the one from Blood Moon Ball.. not an easy feat mind as I say this with no bisas. I may not LIKE starco, at least not without some heavy continuity revisions.. but that dance was objectively good and so’s this one. The two land, moon rings the fucking bell to end things because again sh’es kind of a dick, and Wrathmelor causes earthquakes with her claps and reign of lava mom tearfs. Aww what a sweetheart. 

So Tom asks star for a corn shake, which she accepts, aww and Ponyhead is carried out by an entorauge. Eugh. The two laugh adorably together at her shenanigans, for some reason, to close out the episode.  Final Thoughts: Excellent even better than I remembered.. though it still has one or two problems, like what tom’s really doing being kinda obvious based on his body laungauge and middle part being mildly repeititive. But it’s all overridden by great character work, goregous animation and some neat world building as we meet the rest of mewni , most for the first time. I do genuinely wished they’d done more with them. And honestly.. tom and star are more adorable than I remembered. I think a combinaton of star’s later actions and the fact i wanted my starco dammit and figured tom wouldn’t last, I was mostly wrong as it took almost two full seasons for them to break up and we’ll get to that, so I had no real investment. I was annoyed he was seemingly just being throwni n the way as an obstacle to the main ship hwen they clearly changed their minds and he became more.. and then exactly that later because I can’t have nice things. We’ll get to that. But yeah a solid, enchanting episode and a good start to dance week. If you have a star vs episode you want me to review, just hit me up in akss or subits or comission it directly using those same options, or any other cartoon for that matter and follow me for more reviews as I cover Amphibia every week and will return to regular ducktales coverage at the end of september. Tom will return shortly. Until then stay safe, wear a mask, and later days. 

[peepingtoad]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO / 50-50 (There’s a lot of love and a lot of hate, but I think many are actually pretty neutral on him too!)

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / 50-50 (I’d say he may be an... acquired taste? Of course a lot of people I know here find him sexie so it’s hard to say for certain, heh. We may just be the weirdos of the fandom :P )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO

Are they underrated?  YES / NO (Not in terms of ability, but underrated for just how complex and multi-layered he is, I’d say)

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO /

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (I honestly think he’s a man of many reputations, both in canon and in fandom :’D)

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  I’m very much a ‘use the bones of what we got in canon and do my best to flesh them out’ kinda roleplayer. There are some things that can be taken too easily at face value that I see fit to build upon. For example, I think Jiraiya’s feelings on the prophecy and his relationship with Konoha is something that could be too easily played off as simplistic, or like they were immovable constants. But that’s unrealistic for a man of his years and many experiences, so I try to put myself in his emotional setting at various points in his life, and trace how his feelings and behaviours change, if that makes sense? 

I try to avoid saying that any of the writing was straight up wrong because it’s disrespectful to the creator. But especially for Jiraiya, who had such a significant role to play in the narrative that it sometimes took precedence over his actual character, I do find some of his actions, and the way some interactions were handled in the canon to be a little OOC... so I’ll work with it and try to spin it in a way that I feel fits how he was characterised.

Basically, I’d say that I follow canon, but I like to enrich it in areas that were lacking detail or a nuanced view that took in all the surrounding events of the time. After Jiraiya’s canon death, of course, that’s when more divergence comes in to my portrayal... otherwise I wouldn’t be able to play any post-war scenarios! But the essence of his character is the same, which I try to keep as close to canon as possible.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —  A man of many experiences! You can bet that any topic that comes up, he’ll have some sort of amusing anecdote to share, or be able simply to talk shit about it. He's seen so much, and has a sensitive soul enough that he’ll give anyone a chance; he’s very open-minded and non-judgemental, and honestly is a humanitarian that wants to help those in need. Might leave your muse a little baffled as to how he could hold the status of ‘legend’, only to show it when they least expect it. You never quite know what you’re going to get with him: he’s generous and selfless, yet has many vices that seem selfish at times; he’s both a lover and a fearsome fighter; he’s immensely resilient at the same time as incredibly vulerable and damaged; he’s a himbo and a bit of a jock with the soul of a poet. Love him with no restraint and invite his love in return, and you’ll get not only a lover, but a devotee. Wears his heart on his sleeve... or does he? Chip away at him and find out!

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  The pervy, flirty, jokey schtick could get grating, or come across as disingenuous. In romantic situations, he’ll keep quiet about putting a label on whatever it is, and beneath his overall sweetness and devotion there may be an underlying reek of commitment issues and a fear of admitting he is afraid. He also has a habit of deflecting negativity in general, and playing things off as if they don’t matter or they’re a joke, making him actually rather a difficult person to get to know the heart of. One might feel as if they’re getting nowhere with him...

... Either that, or they get the complete opposite. Yes, as equally as he can be guarded, he can overshare like crazy, and has a tendency to become codependent with those he gets attached to, which is inconsistent with his free-spirited nature, and how adept he is at keeping others at arm’s length from his less sunny side. This inconsistency might make him seem unreliable—if the fact he’s always off who-knows-where doesn’t do the trick already.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  I’ve been a big fan of the Sannin ever since I first read the Deadlock, but being a very young person at the time I perhaps couldn’t relate enough to people who had experienced so much to do them justice in my teenage fic-writing endeavours, so I remained on the sidelines enjoying content by other people (there may also have been a little bit of ‘what the fuck, why do I dig the old dude so much’ denial in there haha). I’ve picked up and dropped my obsession with the series several times over the years, and my love for those three seemed to grow each time. They really are ‘the lost generation’, and as the sole survivors—alongside having a huge impact on the plot, how the shinobi world is shaped, and the three main protagonists—there’s a lot of juicy material there, a lot of emotional background, along with decades of history that basically goes untapped in the canon. 

Anyway, I digress. Coming to the Naruto RPC for the first time around this time 2 years ago at the age of 25, I made this blog and my Deidara one on a whim, but focused on the latter at first. Villains were always comfortable territory for me in my other RP experiences, and I think it made me doubt that I could possibly do someone who is frankly a lovely guy any justice, no matter how much I loved him. I even had the intention of making him fully Akatsuki/Missing-Nin AU at first. Yeah. That’s how stuck in my villain/anti-hero zone I was! But, I think in the end, the fact he actually isn’t a two-dimensional typical ‘hero’ was something I chewed over and realised would be incredibly enriching to write, worth stepping out of my comfort zone for. And being a little more mature and less angst-ridden myself by that point, I found I could resonate with his feelings and ideals in a way that I know I couldn’t have as a teen... but I was still tentative. 

Anyway, after leaving his blog empty for a bit (with its placeholder URL ‘frogdaddy’, which sadly got hoarded by someone else), I cosplayed the old bastard, along with my partner as Orochimaru. We’d been stanning that particular ship and talking about how great the Sannin are in general for quite some time by that point, but being casually in character for fun while drunk off my tits at a boat party, was a bit of an epiphanic moment. Not long after that, I threw myself right into writing this chaotic-good old bastard with gusto, and here I still am :’)

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Taking breaks to recharge as and when I need to. Seriously. The death of all my other blogs has been pressure (mostly from myself) to be there and force myself to put out regular content, so I went into this not thinking that way and it’s really helped! 

Of course, there’s also the fact that there simply seems to be no shortage of areas I can delve into with this guy. Again, it’s his age and all the missing years in canon... but I think it’s also how much love he has and his genuine eagerness to engage with others that makes him one of the most naturally bountiful muses I’ve played. Because honestly? Most of my villain muses wanted people to just fuck off :’D this guy is open to everything.

That aside, I guess I just gel with him more than I ever expected to. I’ve changed a lot as a person and gained more confidence since various areas of my life got better, and I really just vibed with this chill, funny, romantic, pervy, big-hearted energy. I enjoy angst, but my real love is peppering the serious and heartbreaking with romance and comedy—and isn’t that just befitting of him? Writing through his eyes also helps to keep my outlook positive, so that keeps me stuck on him as much as the seemingly limitless content potential. 

And this is without even going into my cross-fandom AU ideas I have on the back-burner. Honestly, they’re there but I want to put a real effort into them while keeping his essence the same, which for some, involves brushing up on my lore!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO / RARELY. (depends on whether I get a flash of inspiration—which mostly comes with random asks that happen to stir up an idea for a scene, such as this one (NSFW warning))

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / 50-50 /NO. (I tend not to take things personally but am also very passionate—call it my innate Leo-ness!)

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Hmmm. I haven’t actually had any critique on my portrayal, so I’m not sure haha! I’d say if it’s constructive, then I’ll take it into account and consider it, especially if it’s a case where it helps me realise I’ve perhaps not gotten across what I intended to very well. But I’m also quite fond of my portrayal in its essence, so I may end up just thanking the person for their opinion and carry on as usual :P

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  Absolutely! I’ve had some wonderful ones recently and it’s exactly the kick I need to get ideas out, some of which I’ve had on the back-burner but not had a framework within which to write it without it getting derailed. I definitely appreciate a question that will keep me at least a little on-topic, otherwise if I go off on my own volition I really tend to... well, go off! Even if a question is a similar topic to something I’ve already done, it’s a good exercise for me to go back to the similar headcanon and see if I can build further on it, deviate, and link it to show what past thoughts I’ve been working with. A great way of keeping some consistency in my portrayal while making improvements, I find! And then of course I’ve had some questions that are entirely new morsels for thought, and it leads me to something new and fresh, which I greatly appreciate.

Basically, any questions at all, fire away! I may take a while but I will get to them eventually!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Yeah. I mean I think it’s just polite to present a reason as to why not, instead of just being like ‘this is wrong/a bad take’ or whatever. Source material is down to personal interpretation, so if I draw different ideas from it to another person after discussion, then we can simply agree to disagree on it. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  They are welcome to disagree with me I guess? So long as they’re respectful and don’t then treat me as if my interpretation is ‘AU’ or talk about ‘canon Jiraiya’ as if he’s obviously a different entity to my own, then disagree away. But if prompted enough, know that I will most likely defend my portrayal with what I consider to be justification from the source material :P I did pay close attention to it, after all, and I do consider my portrayal to align well with it.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  Depends on the nature of it and the conduct, really? Like, people are allowed to dislike characters. I myself find a couple of characters pretty annoying or don’t particularly care for them (granted, usually it’s in a love-to-hate or simply a ‘this character doesn’t interest me’ way), but that doesn’t affect how I behave towards the RPer of a character. It’s just manners, really. People tend to RP characters because they like them, so why would you take negativity right to their doorstep, in this space they’ve made as an expression of enjoyment for, and to develop said character? 

There’s been some people who admitted to me that they didn’t care much for Jiraiya, but then began to like him more with my portrayal and that’s more than fine; I take it as the highest compliment in fact. It’s also the kind of open-minded attitude I like to have with portrayals of characters I don’t necessarily like or have much interest in, because by and large, people do tend to add more depth and nuance than the busy and character-packed canon allowed.

However, if it’s the type of hate that’s got its own devoted circle of bitter bitches, who seem to use so much energy hating a character... then please, don’t engage me. Doesn’t matter who the character is, don’t expect me to follow/keep following your negative ass if it’s constant on the dash—and if the target character is any of the Sannin then frankly I’ll have probably blocked/blacklisted in a heartbeat. The ‘critical’ views of them tend to diminish them as humans, diminish the context and events that surrounded their choices, and in a way that I find is a gross double standard compared to what people will allow other (read: young, attractive, fandom faves, ‘babies’ or ‘beans’) to get away with and excuse the behaviours of. I don’t need that kinda negative energy sullying my hobby, nor do I need moral superiority that isn’t applied consistently across the board.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Absolutely! I meticulously fret and check, and cringe when I get a reply and happen to spot errors while rereading what I wrote before it! I edit a lot but don’t always pick up on errors, so I’m more than happy to have it pointed out. Chances are, I’ll be far more brutal to myself about it than anyone else would be!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  Overall, yeah. I’m not possessive or clingy (I don’t think) and don’t expect the world from people, nor for them to focus on or favour me or be super fast. I just expect the same respect in return. Having said that, I will express it when I don’t like something or it makes me uncomfortable, provided we’re familiar enough, because if we’re strangers I’d feel like I was coming across as entitled to your energy and emotional labour. I do my best to be diplomatic about it though, and rest assured it doesn’t mean I’m forever mad at you or turned off in any way just because I have a small grievance. I just find that being honest with each other rather than letting things pile up and fester makes a friendship more solid, and basically more genuine and long-lasting.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @dokuhebi​ Tagging: Whoever hasn’t done this yet!

[orsino-the-enchanter]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent (the mere existence of a post-canon verse is diverging from canon)/ fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. It depends on what you mean as popular. Whoever has ever played DA2 knows Orsino because he’s important to the plot (especially in act 3) but the opinions on him are conflicted. like they are on any morally gray character. Still, he is a side character who has like 5 scenes in the entire game, so I believe he’s not getting the attention he deserves.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Orsino certainly is not everyone’s cup of tea, I can say that much. Physical appearance-wise he is very attractive for what he is: a stressed/depressed middle-aged DA2 elf who has seen SomeShit™ in his life. He has aged way more graceful than what he could have, but still, he is in his late 40s/early 50s, which can be a deterrent factor to some; also, the elves in this game have distinctive inhuman-like features that people either love or hate. Personally, I think that there is harmony and beauty in his features, which makes him weirdly pretty to look at and i love the fact that they gave him an hourglass body shape. However, Orsino’s true beauty lies in his personality and his calm, collected, polite demeanor. His voice is another huge bonus.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. I mean... he’s a First Enchanter who keeps his knowledge on blood magic and necromancy a secret, there are hints that he’s a somniari mage throughout the game, he has some very badass scenes where he kicks the asses of bigger/stronger opponents than himself when he’s outnumbered AND he has one of the 2 boss battles in the finale of the game. There is no doubt that he is a force to be reckoned with in battle.

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. I think he’s criminally underrated not just by the fandom, but even  the creators of the game, who gave him no backstory, only a handful of scenes and butchered his character just to add another boss battle.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. Meeting him along with Knight Commander Meredith and Viscount Dumar earns you an achievement (the “friends in high places” one). He is one of the main antagonists in the third and most crucial part of the game and you can either choose to side with him or oppose him.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. Lots of elements in the storyline depend on the protagonist’s political views on what’s going on in Kirkwall, and since Orsino is a prominent political figure, he is relevant to the protagonist’s views. He can be either an ally or an opponent, depending to what the protagonist’s views are. Also, he had been involved to the protagonist’s tragic loss of their mother -albeit indirectly-, since he was an informant of the murderer.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. He’s a controversial but VERY well-known public figure, to the point where he can be recognized in the streets -even if people have never seen him before, they can recognize the staff he carries, his distinctive robes and the fact that he’s an elf (an elven first enchanter is news in itself, so he doesn’t go by unnoticed). The protagonist has heard of him -along with rumors and gossip surrounding him- before he had the chance to meet him in person. He has such influence and people skills that he even carried out a rally to overturn the Knight Commander’s rule of the city and almost succeeded.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Depends on who you ask. Mage sympathizers see him as a brave advocate of his people’s rights who wouldn’t hesitate to put his life on the stake for them. The common folk and the city authorities see him as a potentially dangerous troublemaker and rebel.

How strictly do you follow canon? — I try to follow canon mostly in my canon verse, while taking some artistic liberties due to the lack of a concise backstory. In post-canon verses and au’s, I have taken all the insights on Orsino’s personality, views and way of thinking and I have adapted them to fit each verse’s context.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  For him ‘mage’ is not just a term describing his abilities, it is also a term describing his personality as a whole. He has that elegance, cultivation and mystical charm about him; he is morally grey yet charismatic; witty yet cunning and certainly not one to be toyed with. Despite the exterior of a powerful yet restrained scholar he maintains , however, there are many layers to him and each is darker than the last. He can be both the erudite conversation partner you’d like to have an existential conversation with over a glass of good wine, a trusted advisor you’d confide your problems to and a force to be reckoned with who would obliterate you or your enemies in battle, depending on the situation. Still, the First Enchanter has some very vulnerable sides too, but he tries to keep them to himself.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — In the main verse he’s a minor character; with not as much involvement in the protagonist’s life as other characters (such as the companions). He’s also kind of secluded and not in touch with whatever happens in real life -not just because he lives in the Circle, but because he has been institutionalized, like any other person who has been brought there from a very young age. Also, there is the age gap which can make him a bit harder to reach than someone younger.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  When I played DA2 for the first time, Orsino piqued my interest because he was the very definition of a tragic figure.  He was the only voice of reason in the madhouse that is Kirkwall; yet he was fighting alone for a just cause that was doomed. He had the whole city and the authorities against him; still, he did not give up trying to protect his people; and he did his best to refrain from violence until the bitter end. His death -a suicide, no matter how you cut it- was equally tragic as the life he led; it was seeing the bringer of hope for mages losing all hope himself and deciding to go fighting and not on his knees. That, combined with his sarcasm and sophistication convinced me that I had to do justice to this poor underappreciated soul and dig deeper into his character -even try to write an alternative ending for him. Hence, this blog was created.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  My amazing roleplay partners with all the good work they put into their characters and the love they have shown me and my character so far. I love you guys <3

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok. Still, I would love to have more feedback to see how i can improve even more.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF Headcanons, metas, the works.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. I am not sure what is meant by ‘drabbles’ but sure, I’d love to write more of those.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. All the time, especially before going to bed. That is where all those rp ideas come from.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? Again, i don’t really get much feedback, so i am not that sure if I am doing any good and if my Orsino sounds genuine

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. I like how i have written some threads more than others, I’m not gonna lie.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA. I am a sensitive person in general, but not someone whose feelings are easily hurt/triggered or someone who takes things that are not my business to heart.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Criticism is welcome only when it is constructive; in the sense that there are clearly stated arguments as to what I do not do right and suggestions on how to improve. If someone sends me an ask like “i don’t like x just because” or anon hate, I am just going to ignore it.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  — YES!!! YESS!!! YESS!!!!!!! I cannot stress enough how helpful it is for me to receive suggestions and questions that help me explore sides of my character i have not thought about so far! Even if your questions are the randomest things ever, i’d still LOVE to answer them. I have received some asks like “what would Orsino do in x situation” in the past and they were SO fun to write!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Of course! As I said, so far the opinion is supported beyond the ‘just because’, I will be happy to consider it. Anything that helps me broaden my perspective is welcome.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — I do not really mind; i am the first person to recognize that Orsino is a controversial figure and people may hate him for whatever reason. I might not agree with the hate, but each to their own I suppose.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  — If they do not do it in the typical ‘grammar nazi’ style i’m chill with it. Grammatical errors tend to happen more often than not, just because i almost never proofread. *shrug*

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I think so, yes. As I said, I am not easily annoyed, triggered or have my feelings hurt, and i am very excited to interact with new people. Still, i do recommend reading my verses/about/rules pages, if anything, to know what to expect from my portrayal and activity patterns.

tagged by: stolen from @theharellan tagging: @of-enormous-girth @oftevinter @the-old-and-the-hapless @soldier-of-visus @lathsuledin @redtemplarcommander​ @hisfavoritewolf​ @the-champions-of-the-just​ @lowtownbutcher​ @elderone​ @sworntoprotect​ @altuspavus​ @starkhavenprince​ @aqun--athlok​ @hornedchief​ @iamcole​