#ALSO I realized I either write super slow burn or I go from 1 to 100 immediately there’s no in between lmao

[lauraneedstochill]

I was searching but not for you

pairing: modern!Aemond Targaryen and F!Reader summary: Aemond is eager to catch the thief who keeps stealing his gemstones but the person in question seems to always be one step ahead of him. words: ~ 4000 author’s note: about two months ago, I got the idea to write short stories inspired by the songs I like. this idea may totally flop, but I already wrote a few one-shots so I might as well post them somewhere. you can skip the song but I think it helps with ✨ the vibes ✨ P.S. don’t read the translation from French right away song inspo: Leagues — Walking Backwards (Spotify / YouTube)

>>> The first time it happens, it’s blindsiding — he gets a call in the middle of the night, and the words are rushed and the voice on the other end of the phone is panicking. Aemond sits up against the head of his bed, silky linen softy sliding down his chest, and the sleep is still clinging to his skin, and he can’t quite understand what’s going on. Surely, it sounds like a bad joke — someone broke into his office, someone found his safe. He’s the only one who knows the contents of the locked metal box, and he cherishes it very deeply. He doesn’t easily let go of the things he loves.

In about five minutes, his car roars through the empty streets, his heart is racing, his body fueled by the adrenaline that eats up the remnants of his sleepiness. Aemond all but runs — in the building, in the elevator, on the right floor. The security team looks so baffled, he almost wants to laugh. And then he sees it — his safe, accurately opened and seemingly not emptied. Because the uncut diamond in it didn’t take much space, and now it is, indeed, missing. There’s a note left, written in cursive so perfect, it looks as mocking as the words on it:

“A safe hidden behind a painting? Honestly, that’s just bad taste.”

His shock turns into anger in the blink of an eye.

>>> The fact that someone dared to steal from him is offensive enough, but the stolen gemstone also holds a special meaning — it’s the first one he’s ever bought with his own money, by himself, for himself. It’s not the biggest one he owns, not the rarest color or the most high-priced, but the auction it was sold at dragged for almost two hours, and the very last bidder was too persistent for his liking. Finally winning felt so good, it was addicting. Losing that very thing felt like a punch, and he hadn’t missed a single one before.

>>> He changes the locks and tightens security, but there are no leads — nothing on his cameras, and no one saw a thing. He begrudgingly tells Helaena about it when she finds a moment to check up on him in between hosting countless exhibitions in her gallery. That very gallery also stores one of his gems, so he wants to take precautions, just in case.

His sister brings him croissants and sips on matcha while listening to him, worry sawn onto her face. She reassures him she’ll be alert, she’s empathetic as ever. She then enthusiastically goes to tell him all about the new layout for the Van Gogh collection she’ll put on display next month. Her cheerful babbling gives him an hour-long reprieve from his inner torment.

On her way out, Helaena stops, her brows furrowing:

“Do you know who owned the diamond before you?”

“There were no details on the owner,” Aemond shrugs. “I only know his collection had to be auctioned for debts which definitely drove down the price.”

She gives him a heartfelt smile:

“I’ll ask around, then.”

>>> Someone steals the sapphire from her gallery precisely a week after their conversation. The gem of 150 carats is protected with armored glass and kept in a separate hall, but no alarms are triggered the night it disappears. Helaena only finds out in the morning and sends him a photo of an empty stand. When Aemond arrives at the gallery, police are already at the scene. They all wear the same confused expression.

“There’s no footage on the cameras,” his sister explains, perplexed. Then squints at him: “But they left a note.”

Aemond swallows down an annoyed grunt and spends ten minutes answering a pointless sequence of questions. Only then he gets to see the thing he’s most curious about. The piece of paper says:

“Your taste is better when it comes to gems. The exhibition looks great, by the way!”

He passes it on his way back — it’s a collection of some Swedish artist he’s never heard of. The painting closest to him is called “The Lady with the Veil”, and the woman on the canvas looks at him with a sly smile.

>>> The third time can take the prize for being the most ridiculous one. He made the purchase only two days ago — a pink diamond of exceptional purity, and the transfer is arranged in the strictest secrecy. He gives instructions, he hires two guards for the ride; he’s counting minutes. Aemond has a lurking suspicion that something is off when the delivery is 15 minutes late. But then the courier finally walks in, hands him the box locked with a digital code, and Aemond tenses up in anticipation. The second he opens it, his mouth falls slack.

“Are you kidding me?!” he roars — the box is empty, with only a pink ribbon left inside.

The courier shrivels at the sound and apologizes profusely. And then admits that they made a stop on their way. He says they went down the wrong route — because of some glitch in his GPS — and ended up at the wrong house. It took the man a couple of minutes to realize his mistake and come back to the truck. He has no explanation for why he thought that taking both guards with him was in any way a good idea, but he swears that the driver never left the vehicle.

To add to Aemond’s anguish, the two policemen sent to his place seem to be positively stupid. Not only do they not understand the concept of digital locks, but they also don’t grasp the gravity of the situation. One of them scribbles something in his notebook, then scratches his head with a pen, then asks:

“Are you sure it’s not just a case of miscommunication?”

Aemond is sure that he’s never been this close to strangling a law enforcement officer. He gives the cops a tight-lipped smile and sends them away, and he is still left with no information to get things off the ground. He’s also a little bitter that there was no note this time.

He’s staring at the empty box with a brooding frown when he feels his phone vibrating. It’s a text from his sister:

“There are rumors that the man you’ve got your diamond from was some tech developer. His identity was sealed by court order :( But maybe this will be of use? xx”

Aemond rereads the message, then ponders for a minute. That may explain all the technical malfunctions that he suspects were not accidental. It also gives him an idea.

>>> He orders his security team to look through all the street cameras along the route. Buff guys crash at his office, dragging in every monitor they can find, and strain their eyes to catch anything. Aegon volunteers to help although he mostly spends his time roaming around the room with a bottle of beer, leaving his fingerprints on every glassy surface.

Just as Aemond has hoped, they find the person of interest at the first stop the courier made. Except the video gives them no clue who they are looking at. The men watch as someone — wearing all black, their face covered — quietly sneaks to the truck, opens it and gets in, squirreling through the gap between the back doors. They do that with such ease, Aemond won’t be surprised to see them using a magic wand. The driver spends that time singing along to some rap song blasting in the car.

Aegon notices the strained silence and gets closer, then focuses on the footage. And then he starts cracking with laughter.

“Hey, it’s a woman!” he exclaims. “I know one when I see one!”

All the security guys lean toward the cameras and watch the recording again, following her movements and tilting their heads to the left in unison like some hypnotized owls.

“Well, that does look... like a female body,” one of them mumbles, others humming in agreement, eyes still glued to the screens.

Aemond feels the secondhand embarrassment creeping in and quietly growls, facepalming. He catches Aegon’s gaze, and his brother chuckles, his eyes crinkled.

“Man, you must’ve really fucked up for her to go after you like that,” Aegon whispers with a grin. “Is it bad that I’m kinda rooting for her now?”

Aemond can’t think of a single person who would want to cross him, let alone a woman. He’s not one to fool around or break hearts, and his own stays closed, and no one ever made it flutter. Incomprehension stirs up his thoughts the way a storm does the sea.

“So what’s your plan?” Aegon’s voice brings him back to reality.

“I’ll tell you when I have one,” Aemond sighs. “What I definitely don’t plan on doing is buy another diamond,” he swirls the phone in his hand like he always does when he’s agitated.

Aegon finishes his beer, then looks at the screens again.

“But you still have enough gemstones,” he drawls.

“Enough for what?” Aemond raises a brow at him.

“To get her interest,” his brother smirks. “Don’t you think?”

Aemond lets Aegon’s words sink in until he grasps the meaning behind them, and the suggestion leaves a hint of a smile on his lips. He instantly dials his sister:

“Hel, can you do me a favor? I want to hold an exhibition. It’s gonna be the most expensive one you’ve ever had.”

“Show-off,” Aegon mutters, rolling his eyes.

>>> The gallery is located at the end of the central street, overlooking a small canal with charming tour boats, with blossoming cherry trees planted along the way. Aemond plans everything down to the last detail — every camera’s placement, every guard’s position, he learns all the ins and outs of the building. The day before the event, his nerves are on edge, his mind restless, and he makes an irrational decision to stop by the gallery to take a quick look around. He warps between halls and examines the stands — all while answering countless calls he’s been bombarded with since someone leaked the story of his misfortunes to the press.

He’s looking at the layout of the upper floor, flipping through the pages, his smartphone pressed up against his ear when he rounds the corner — and suddenly crashes into someone. The phone slips out, papers scatter around, and he instinctively puts out a hand, and it rests upon another body, their skin warm against his fingers. He hears a surprised voice:

“Oh, excusez-moi!” and then it gets softer. “Je ne m’attendais pas à ce que tu sois là *.”

When Aemond glances down, he is left speechless.

A woman is looking at him, her parted lips curled up in a light smile, her features gentle, face expression amused. There’s a hint of mischief in her eyes, an alluring gleam of mystery he is instantly drawn to solve. She’s only wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, and yet he thinks he’s never seen a sight so pretty. His hand stays on her waist, his thumb sneaked under the white material. He wants to keep it there.

She shamelessly studies his face until her gaze grazes his lips — curiously, intrigued — then she looks up.

“I am horribly clumsy, my apologies,” she finally says, her voice low and dulcet, and hands Aemond his phone and a couple of papers. He completely missed the moment when she somehow managed to catch all that.

“Makes two of us,” he utters, reluctantly removing his palm from the bend of her waistline. The touch of her hand compensates for it — their fingers brush, but it’s fleeting and it leaves him wanting more.

She helps him pick the rest of his papers off the floor, not giving him a chance to protest. She’s nimble and smiley, he is tacit and stunned.

“The preparations for the exhibit seem quite extensive,” she remarks, looking around, standing carelessly close to him but not close enough. “You put in a lot of work,” she casts a glance at him, and Aemond’s cheeks heat up.

“I had a lot of help,” he modestly brushes off the compliment, but his eye never leaves her face, and he doesn’t want to leave, either. There is no explanation for this feeling, for this need, for how flustered and tongue-tied he is.

“I should let you get back to it, then,” she takes a step back, moving out of his reach, and he can’t find a reason to make her stay for a bit longer.

“Do you plan on coming?” Aemond asks, and in any other case, he would’ve found the desperation in his voice to be embarrassing. Right now, he couldn’t care less.

She turns to look at him and holds his gaze for a good few seconds. She isn’t smiling but there’s laughter in her eyes when she says:

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” and then walks out.

His phone buzzes again, a string of unread notifications popping up on the screen. But it’s the girl with a velvety voice that hooks his attention like nothing else. He didn’t think to question what she was doing in the gallery.

>>> The exhibition is a bit too crowded, and Aemond scurries between the halls and watches the gemstones like a hawk, looking out for anyone suspicious. He tries to persuade himself it’s the only reason he peers into the crowd; it’s not. He also can’t help but wait for a certain person, for a very specific face to show up.

But minutes pass by and soon turn into an hour and then into two, and he almost gives up.

He stares blankly at one of the gems — Colombian emerald, a hundred carats of the purest green, — he was ecstatic to get his hands on it, and yet right now it looks dull, and it brings him no joy. He sees a gleam of the same color out of the corner of his eye and disregards it at first, but then he casts his gaze to the side, and his breathing hitches.

She did come, and when he sees her, his heart not only skips a bit but does a full-on salto.

Her dress is brighter than any emerald — the material flows, following every curve of her body, with a coyly slit up to the middle of her thigh. The waves of her hairdo fall to one side, and his eye trails her collarbones, the line of her neck, and moves up to her lips that are blooming red, radiant like rubies. She is so beautiful, all the gemstones pale in comparison, and he can’t tear his gaze away.

She goes straight to Aemond as if there are no other people in the gallery — she maneuvers between them but only looks at him, a familiar smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“It’s safe to say your efforts paid off,” she gestures at the crowd when she’s at arm’s reach. “I think congratulations are in order,” the words flow from her lips like honey.

He blinks a few times, then comes to his senses and finds his voice.

“Thank you,” he musters in response. “I suspect the gems are to blame,” he remarks and tries to put on his usual cold self-restraint. She isn’t having any of it.

“With so many of them, I can’t decide what to look at first,” she comes closer, boldly and unabashed, and he’s enveloped in her perfume, in the warmth of her gaze. He takes the hint.

“I can give you a tour,” he offers, and her smile grows wider. Then her eyes glide over the emerald, and she taps on the protective glass:

“This one seems rather pricey.”

“It was,” Aemond agrees, clasping hands behind his back, very pleased with himself. “Comes from the Muzo mines, a square octagon-cut 100.2-carat emerald.”

“The shape does help to convey the color depth of the stone,” she hums with satisfaction, but her eyes are on Aemond again. Seeing his questioning look, she adds: “The cut of a gem is what determines its value, isn’t it?”

He only manages to nod because her thigh brushes his, and he doesn’t even pretend to pay attention to the gemstone. Neither does she, taking him by the arm:

“So, what’s next on our tour?”

>>> He guides her from one display to the other, and they move further away from the crowd, into smaller halls, less noisy and dimly lit, the gemstones being the only bright spot in each room. She asks questions, and their conversation flows, but he quickly notes that she knows more than she’s letting on.

“You seem well-versed on the topic yourself,” Aemond assumes as they take a stop in front of yet another stand. The yellow diamond on it catches the light and sparkles like a little sun.

“My father held a great appreciation for gemstones of all sorts,” she reveals, with a tinge of sadness in her voice. “I guess I’ve learned a thing or two from him.”

“Are you a collector too?”

She softly laughs, and her gaze turns playful:

“I value the rare beauty of them but... I think I find the buying process more exciting. It’s all about the chase,” she murmurs, leaning into him just a bit.

She’s mesmerizing, she’s a charade, and he’s captivated beyond understanding. But before he can say anything else, a loud noise shatters the silence between them — the fire alarm goes off. А monotone voice on the speaker orders everyone to leave the building.

“That’s odd,” Aemond mumbles, more to himself. He hears people’s voices in the distance and gently takes her by the hand. “We should go too.”

“Maybe it’s a false alarm?” she doesn’t move. “I am sure the security will turn it off in a minute. With how well this place is guarded, you have nothing to worry about, right?”

It dawns on Aemond that he didn’t think once about the safety of the gemstones in the last hour, and it’s just as concerning as the unexpected evacuation. To add to his worry, the overhead lighting goes off.

“We should wait for the emergency generator to kick in,” she suggests, not bothered in the slightest. He should find it weird, but he can only think of how close she is, how the faint light from the display contours her face.

“Um, it will take — ”

“About three minutes,” she finishes up for him. “We just need to find a way to pass the time.”

“I think I’ve told you all there is to know about the collection,” Aemond lightly chuckles. “Unless you got any other ideas?”

“Well, I don’t usually do that but...,” she says quietly, looking up at him as her hand lies on his shoulder, then slowly moves to his neck.

“Do what?” he is caught off guard, he can’t concentrate on anything other than the movement of her palm. “Do you want to —”

“You talk too much,” she interrupts him with a smile, her finger tugging at the collar of his shirt, and then her lips cover his, and the words die down on his tongue, and all the sounds disappear.

Her lips are rubies but they feel like silk, intoxicating like wine, and before he can think it over, he kisses her back, and he can’t think of anything else, and his hands find her waist so easily he wishes to never keep them away. She allows him to lead this time, to set the pace, his fingers tugging her closer, his mouth fervid — and he’s insatiable, and he wants to leave her as breathless as he is. He succeeds in that.

When they part, the light is already on.

“I didn’t mean to take your attention away from your precious stones,” she breathes out.

“I think I got a hold of another one,” Aemond trails for her lips, but she laughs against his mouth.

“I meant actual gems.”

“I can recognize a real gem from a fake one,” he retorts and brushes away a strand of her hair that fell loose.

“Can you?” she throws him a cunning look and bites her lower lip. “Oh, Aemond,” she then gets quiet, almost hesitant, her gaze hinting at something unsaid, something important. “You should’ve let me make the last bid,” she whispers all of a sudden.

He stares at her in confusion, and there’s a ringing concern in the back of his head, a nascent hunch. Simultaneously, another realization kicks in:

“You never told me your name,” Aemond finally grasps.

“And you never told me yours, you just assumed I knew it,” she’s not offended, she is very much enjoying it. “I did,” she traces the contour of his jaw with her index finger.

He’s about to say something else when they hear hurried footsteps approaching.

“Mr. Targaryen, we were hoping you would — Oh,” the guard falls silent upon seeing them. The man reads the room and gets clearly abashed but Aemond doesn’t.

“I would what?” he asks, unfazed, not removing his hand from her waist.

“I just wanted to inform you it was a false alarm, but we are going through the cameras to look for any suspicious activity,” the guard explains, then holds a pause. “Maybe you would want to join us?”

Aemond looks at her, his face expression apologetic, but she doesn’t make an issue out of it.

“You should go,” she encourages. “Make sure that everything is fine.”

He doesn’t want to but he has to, they both know that. What he doesn’t know is why he feels the need to make promises to the woman he’s only met twice.

“It will only be a couple of minutes,” his hand glides down and captures hers.

“Take your time,” her thumb careless his palm, and then she lets him go. He feels her gaze on him on the way out.

>>> Aemond walks through the empty halls and corridors, catching a glimpse of Helaena and Aegon standing outside with all the guests, his brother’s hand draped over her shoulder, both laughing at something. He’s glad that everyone is safe — he is also glad that Aegon won’t get a chance to tease him. Aemond is pretty sure there’s a red hue left on his lips but he only thinks of it when he walks into the security room, and it’s too late to wipe it off.

“Anything caught your attention?” he nonchalantly asks the guards that are watching the security footage.

“Nothing so far,” one of them informs. “The evacuation went without complications, took us about seven minutes — started with the green hall, all according to the plan,” he proudly states. Aemond absentmindedly nods.

“And what was it with the light?”

“Oh, that,” the man frowns. “Something set off the emergency reboot of the system. All our guys were outside, so we sent one of the security men who stayed back at the site to check the generator.”

That string of words bothers Aemond.

“Stayed at the site — you mean, in one of the halls?” he guesses. “Which one was it?”

“The green one, it’s closest to the basement,” the guard tells him without a second thought.

Aemond thinks of the floor plan, then counts the minutes in his head. Then he realizes:

“So the emerald remained unguarded the longest.”

>>> He’s the first one to run out of the room — and the first one to reach the green hall, his heart racing. But, despite his worst fears, the gem is still there. Untouched, big, green, dull.

... Dull.

Aemond watches it silently, and the gears in his head start turning faster. He comes up to the stand, eye fixed on the emerald.

“Take it out,” he asks, his tone commanding. “Now.”

A member of the staff gets the gem from under the glass cover, and Aemond takes the emerald in his hand, then turns his phone’s flashlight on. Under direct light, the jewel radiates a rainbow of colors, bright and iridescent. Just like plain glass. To prove his theory further, he drags the bezel of his platinum watch over the stone’s surface — and it leaves a very evident scratch.

Someone gasps behind his back, and there’s no need to say it out loud. Still, he does:

“It’s fake,” Aemond concludes.

The invited jewelry expert holds a hand to his heart.

“But it’s not possible! Not possible,” he muses. “The cameras were on for the duration of the day, we’ve got the footage right here!”

They were on today, but not the day before, Aemond notes. He drags out all the pieces of information he can think of — coincidences, memories, words:

“The man you’ve got your diamond from was some tech developer,”

“My father held a great appreciation for the gemstones,”

“The preparations seem extensive,”

“It’s all about the chase,”

“You should’ve let me make the last bid,”

— and the puzzle comes together.

“God damn it,” he says under his breath, closing his eye.

And then, while everyone looks clueless, Aemond lets out a laugh. There is no anger in it — if anything, he feels relieved. For him, the chase has gotten quite tiresome. But oh so worth it, he thinks.

“You can put it back and invite everyone in,” Aemond gives the emerald to the expert who seems doubtful.

“But what of its authenticity?”

“Well, just don’t let anyone take it out and put it under a flashlight,” Aemond sneers. Then he turns to the guards: “Can you show me the yellow hall?”

When he sees the place empty, he rushes out without another word.

>>> The sunset spreads over the sky, flooding it with orange and crimson, and Aemond searches for her in the crowd and in the street but to avail at first. His eye roves over the mass of faces, bodies, vehicles passing by — and then falls on the other side of the canal. He recognizes her in a heartbeat.

She changed back into jeans and a t-shirt, with a leather jacket thrown over, a black motorbike parked next to her. The wind ruffles waves of her hair and the hem of her shirt, and Aemond wishes he could sneak his hands under it again. He doesn’t know if she sees him in the side mirror or if she feels his gaze — he hopes it’s the latter — but she turns to him, and their eyes meet.

She flashes him a smile that lits up her whole face and then turns into laughter. Aemond can’t hear her but he remembers the sound of it, and the corners of his mouth tilt up. It feels like there’s no distance separating them, no people, and no channel of water strewn with fallen cherry blossoms. She taps at the pocket of her jacket and points at him — he looks down at his suit and in a second he catches on to what she means. Aemond puts a hand in his pocket and finds a piece of paper inside. It’s small and gently folded, it’s the same cursive he’ll recognize anywhere:

“Didn’t get a chance to tell you last time — you really should invest in a better security system. Makes me wonder how good is the one you have at home. Maybe I should check it out.

Until next time, Y/N.”

When he looks up, she’s already left, but the smile doesn’t leave his face.

He doesn’t know if it’s a challenge or a date.

But he can’t wait to see her again. * “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t expect you to be here.”

✧ the original dress in all its glory ✧ “The Lady with the Veil” 💕 another fic where the girl makes the first step 🔞 another fic with a green dress

💚 my masterlist

English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes. reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!

[presidenthades]

Can I ask why compromise is longer than the golds ?

When I write fanfic, I tend to follow the same writing principles I use with original fiction. The story needs to start very shortly before the central conflict begins, but there also needs to be enough context for the reader to understand the conflict. Likewise, the story should end soon after the central conflict is resolved, but with enough of an ending to leave the reader satisfied.

The basic conflict of The Golds is “Jace and Aegon need to figure out how to balance married life and a surprise pregnancy while dealing with all their other obligations.” So their wedding was a natural place to begin the story, to give a glimpse of their “normal state” before they find out she’s pregnant. Eventually, after a lot of other drama, Jace and Aegon succeed in figuring out how to handle married life and parenthood together with all their other royal duties. So the fic ends soon after that, even though there are other unresolved conflicts, like Elenar’s fostering. Those other conflicts are reserved for resolution in future fics.

With The Golds, we didn’t need to know all the backstory from when Jace and Aegon were kids. It was nice to know, but not essential, and the stuff that was need-to-know could easily be included via the occasional flashback or dialogue.

As I was brainstorming Luce and Aemond’s fic, I realized they have a very different situation. A lot of their conflict, “Luce and Aemond need to navigate their miscommunications and misunderstandings while trying to prove themselves,” is rooted in their childhood. Their conflict actually starts at Driftmark, and they both have emotional baggage from their childhood. So I knew I needed to spend some time writing about them as kids.

I originally thought I could get away with just a few short childhood chapters, like an extended prologue, but then I realized their childhood arc was an entire story by itself. So I kinda view Compromised as a trilogy, and Chapters 1-9 are essentially Book 1, with its own sub-conflict of “Luce and Aemond have a falling-out; can they mend their friendship?” By the time Chapter 9 comes out, the total word count for 1-9 will be over 70k, which is the length of a typical novel.

(By the way, it is much faster than average to write, edit, and post a 70k novel in the span of 4.5 months while also writing, editing, and posting a different 60k word novel, which I’m not getting paid for at all other than with kudos and comments. Luckily, so far I’ve only gotten one anon commenter who seems to think I’m updating too slow, because apparently 3 weeks between updates = abandoning the fic. 💀)

If you’ve read the Handbook, then you know that the childhood arc doesn’t end very happily for Luce and Aemond. So that leads us to Volume/Book 2, where the conflict gets really juicy and we see their POVs of the Handbook and The Golds. But if you’ve read The Golds, then you know that Arc 2 doesn’t end super great for them either…so that leads us to Volume/Book 3, where we might finally see them achieve a happy ending (after a lot more drama, of course).

TLDR: Compromised is a multi-year slow burn saga, whereas The Golds takes place in a very specific time of Jace and Aegon’s life about very specific topics. (Jace and Aegon are going to be main characters again in future fics, don’t worry.)

[attollogame]

I totally respect and appreciate that DW and Sysba’s romance routes are complicated and that their ambitions will always come first (the angst potential!!!) but I did want to ask if like, either of them will ever genuinely care about the MC? (not getting my hopes up for sysba lmao) Obviously someone can be highly focused and ambitious and still be sensitive to their partner’s needs, showing care etc. but also from what I can tell I don’t think either sysba or DW are That Person and would never let anything jeopardize their goals, and I think the dynamic of the MC loving either DW or Sysba significantly more than they love the MC and both parties being extremely aware of that, and aware of the very real limits to their relationship is super interesting. Sorry for the long ask, I got a little carried away which is a testament to your writing and your characters!!

I've had a surprising amount of people express a similar concern, which is why I'm going to address it (again, I believe, since this has been brought up if I'm remembering correctly).

The events of Attollo take place in such a short period of time (although there will be, ahem, maybe a little time gap between books 1 and 2) that for people like Sysba and Dreamwalker, they aren't going to be singing love ballads to your MC, mostly because they're preoccupied with some very real threats going on in Attollo right now, and MC might not come to realize how impactful these threats are on both characters lives. I also have to consider what their roles are going to be in books 2 and 3, which will definitely complicate their romance routes respectively, and perhaps complicate your MC's thoughts about them. There's a reason their routes are two of the harder routes to actually get on—don't let the number of flirt options give an impression otherwise.

Am I going to entirely dismiss the opportunity of either character coming to genuinely care for an MC? No. There will be enough interaction in the books that a legitimate sense of connection can form, despite the ambitions that both Sysba and Dreamwalker have, and I think book 3 will definitely allow such a connection (if it exists) to blossom. But the truth of the matter is that most if not all of the characters in Attollo are about to be caught up in a lot of uprooting and shocking things in a very short period of time, so when I say it'll be a slow burn across the board, I really do mean it'll be a slow burn.

Also, in book 2, your decisions will greatly impact your relationship with both DW and Sysba, and in book 3, your decisions will greatly impact your relationship (and endings) with everyone.

[itsagrimm]

Imperial!Tech 2

Is it even romantic without murder?

Imperial!Tech is a delight and I am worried why I have fun writing a murderous lost nerdy boi. will likely do a part 3.

about 2.000 words

part 1

Part 3

CN insults, violence, murder, discriminatory behaviour, very toxic behaviour, soldier life in a fascist state, tiny bit of fluff or Manipulation depends on your perspective, blood, pain, talk of injury. imperial!Tech is a bit of a tease but he will come around

Imperial!tech X they*them Y/N reader

“This will not suffice. Repeat.”, Commander Tech ordered.

His command was calm and detached, a contrast to the exhausted and heavily panting Elite Squad soldiers.

They looked at each other. None of them having the strength to continue their practice. But also none of them having the will to argue with their commander.

Y/N looked up to the observatory deck. Commander Tech was up there, his black armour contrasting with the white walls.

“Is there a problem, ONCE?”, the voice of the commander echoed in Y/N helmet, using the moniker the elite squad had given Y/N.

“No sir. Can we get a short break before a new try?”

The commander glanced down before looking at the holopad in his hands again.

“The elite squad endurance and recovery time is miserable as expected. I calculated your performance to be at least on par with regular clone troopers. I see now that it was a mistake, and I will have to lower my expectation further & readjust my strategies to your … lacking skill level.”

“I am sorry, sir.”

“It is not your mistake to be born inferior.”, the commander stated flattly, “Your next round will be in 5 minutes standard.”

The Elite Squad looked at each other. Their commander was in a mood. Since his injury on Bracca the Squad had not been in action and commander Tech worked them into the ground with his bone breaking practice runs.

“It is impossible.”, ES-02 said using a private chat without the commander, “Who is he comparing us to? The commanders’ expectations are inhuman. Only some kind of super squad could execute his mind-boggling plans in the time he gives us.”

They nodded in agreement.

“He expects us to be at least as good as the regular clone troopers.”, ES-04 stated.

ES-03 laughed: “Yeah we are better than thosemeat droids. And what does he mean with regular clones? Is there even fancier cannon fodder out there?”

“Commander Tech is noticeably different from other clones. Maybe there are more like him out there?”, Y/N pointed out.

“Oh maker, imagine more copies of that pretentious smart mouth up there.” ES-03 rolled his eyes.

“Get in position and execute plan 8C.3 .”, the commanders voice cut through their chatter. ONCE felt as if they got caught bad mouthing Tech.

“Yes sir.”, they replied and got into position.

A ping from a private channel ringed. It was ES-03.

“You are quiet protective of our commander Tech, my dear ONCE. Is there something I need to know?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, … it is always ‘yes sir’ and ‘of course sir’ and sometimes you are both gone in the night. And our dear commander got a lovely visit in the med bay when he was wounded. You even bring him caf somet-“

“ES-03, mind your business.”

“No need to get so aggressive. I am sure it is nothing. And I am sure it is just a coincidence that he leaves you out of punishments or giving you the safest positions in his strategies…”

ONCE said nothing.

Since that time in the hangar the commander had some allure and to admit that meant a defeat ONCE could not afford.

“Well my dearest ONCE, got nothing to say about that? I-“

Static cut through their transmission.

“ES-03, I must inform you that I am very disappointed by your unprofessional behaviour within the Elite Squad which I will not tolerate anymore.”

“Commander? Is that you?”

“Yes of course, who else did you expect?”

ES-03 turned around and looked up to the observatory deck.

Commander Tech’s expression was unreadable, his eyes hidden by the reflecting glasses.

For a moment none of them moved. Then ES-03 took of his helmet and started shouting.

“Are you spying on us? Are you listening to all our private conversations???”, he screamed with a red head.

The commanders lips moved but up there and without his helmet ES-03 could not hear the commanders answer.

“Calm down”, ES-04 tried to defuse her squad member’s anger.

“I am NOT calming down! The sick dirty clone listens to our private channels!”

“Mate, it is not worth it to start a fight like this now.”, ES-02 added, “put your weapon down and think about it.”

“Are you serious??? Do you think I am a threat with this crappy old DC-17? A danger to any of you?! No, it’s this meat bag of a clone who should be afraid of me!”

ONCE flinched at ES-03’s words and readied their weapon.

He was out.

An angry man was a dangerous man.

ONCE former life as a bounty hunter had taught them this lesson well.

Static cut through their helmet again before ONCE heard commander Techs voice.

“Tell ES-03 that the Empire has issued an order to all commanding officers to listen into all communication of their soldiers. It is also very much encouraged to record it.”

“Are you sure that will calm him down, sir?”

“I don’t care about that. He either learns how to live with imperial command or he does not.”

“You are testing him.”

Tech paused.

“Follow your orders, soldier.”

He cut the transmission.

ES-03 was still shouting. His spit landed on ONCE helmet when he turned toward them.

“What did that clone say, my dearONCE??? You two just talked, didn’t you?!”

He sounded furious. His eyes burning like laser blasts into ONCE body.

“He said, checking all communication between soldiers is the new imperial standard to which the commander simply has complied.”

“Fuck that!”

ES-03 stepped closer, his DC-17 blaster still in his hands.

“Fuck that! Fuck that clone! Fuck the Empire! Fuck YOU, you little imperial whore!”

He raised his blaster, aiming for ONCE.

ONCE got cold. Trained instincts kicking in. They rolled sideways behind one of the training blocks to avoid the shot.

A blue blast slightly grazed their helmet, but the adrenaline made it impossible to tell whether or not ONCE got hit.

“ES-03! Stand down!”, Tech’s voice commandeered from somewhere close. He must have left the observatory deck.

“HA! What are you going to do, little nerdy boi? Do you want to protect your little pet over there?! Don’t even try! You are not even a real man!”

Another blue blast shot through the air.

ONCE could hear the Tech and other Squad members taking cover.

“He really did go full rage.”

“Not everyone is cut out for the soldier life.”

“Not everyone is cut out for the Empire!”

“What do we do?”

“Cut the chatter, soldiers”, Tech commandeered, “Take ES-03 out. Shot to kill.”

“Sir?!”

“We can stun him!”

Instead of an answer Tech jumped over the training block he was couching behind and kicked ES-03. ONCE heard the blaster slide over the floor and the sound of fists colliding with skin.

Over and over again.

The sound got wetter.

ES-03’s screams turned into pleas before going silent.

XXXXXXX

Another rotation on Kamino. Another dark night in the bunk room of the Imperial Elite Squad. Another nightmare.

Y/N woke up and looked around. Everything was calm except for the rain knocking at the window and the slow breaths from their fellow soldiers. Commander Tech was missing as always.

Weeks since the Commander had been hurt on Bracca. Days since ES-03 s death. Hours since he – since Tech – had looked at y/n. Why was that such a painful thought? He was a horrible man, a murderer!

He is just a good soldier, he follows orders. Just like you.

Y/N closed their eyes. Pictures of Tech beating ES-03 to death flashed before their eyes and with them the realization that whatever crimes and murders Tech committed, Y/N committed them alongside him. Two monstrous beings in service of a monstrous Empire.

The door to the bunkroom opened silently, only a light draft giving away the silhouette in the door frame. Y/N glanced to the door. It was the commander. He looked at the sleeping elite squad members and through the room as if he was searching for something.

Y/N got up on their elbows and looked at the commander.

Their eyes met.

“ONCE”, he whispered, “Come with me.”

Y/N got into their boots and followed the commander. The long white halls of Tipoca, the kaminoan capital, were empty and quiet. Tech lead the way but surprisingly they passed the hangar and soon arrived at his little office.

He turned around.

“I require your assistance, ONCE.”, he explained in a calm voice, using the moniker the elite squad had given Y/N.

“Now?”, ONCE answered.

“Yes, now.”

They looked at each other. Tech looked horrible. He had dark circles under his eyes so prominent, that even his glasses couldn’t hide them. His head wound from Bracca had left severe, still bloody scars and his hair was unkept and in patches from the burn he survived.

“What is it, commander?”

Instead of an answer he opened the door to his office. It was a little room, full of unfinished projects and gadgets, a wall scribbled with complex formulars ONCE was not in the mood to fathom and a littered table with various unfinished reports.

The workspace of the commander surprised ONCE. It was a stark contrast to the thoroughly planning and executing commander they knew.

“Can you cut my hair?”

“Sorry, sir?”

ONCE turned away from the room and faced the commander. His face was reserved but his voice had a telling neediness in it. The commander, Tech, he needed help.

“Well, I cut my own hair. I can try cutting yours. But I am no professional.”

He nodded.

“I noticed.”, he paused and smiled apologetically for his ambiguous phrasing, “That you cut your own hair, I mean.”

ONCE was speechless. He had smiled.

“I have my personal reservations towards the imperial service corps and their droid hairdressers. And the other option is to ask another trooper since I do not have the skill to cut my hair. But quite frankly the thought of trained regular soldiers having blades near my throat and more importantly my still healing wounds being opened up by some well meaning yet bad practising self-learned barber, is distressing which is why I require you to cut my hair.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“I was not aware of the need for sunlight in order to cut hair. Can you elaborate?”

ONCE suppressed a smile.

“I am sorry, sir. The circumstances are just a bit unusual. But I can try cutting your hair. And I do not plan on cutting your throat.”

“Good to know.”

He nodded casually, satisfied with ONCE’s answer, and produced a hair clipper from somewhere before seating himself on a chair with his back towards them. It was a captivating moment. ONCE looked at the hair clipper in their hand with its tiny blades and the commanders turned back to them. He had defined yet narrow shoulders for a soldier and a muscular back, visible through the thigh blacks. His bare neck was visible, and his occipital moved under his skin when he turned and looked at ONCE.

“It is alright. Feel free to give me whatever hair cut you choose to be fitting. As long as it is functional, I am content.”

ONCE breathed in. That was the commander. And they were about to cut his hair like they were good ol’pals or family. Like they were more. It was a sign of trust so unusual on Kamino, yet he had asked for it.

“You will need to take your glasses of.”

He complied and waited.

ONCE touched his hair to feel its texture before cutting. It was soft. Like a child’s.

They started cutting both sides to even out the burned parts and help with the sensitive skin around his scars before shortening the rest. Burned curls after curls fell on his shoulders and he brushed them away with his hands.

His hands. His murderous hands. They were large and had long fingers with little cuts from tinkering around. How did it feel being touched by them?

ONCE finished cutting, walked around Tech to look at the commander and squatted to see him from an even perspective. He looked good.

“This will work, sir.”

Instead of an answer he stretched his arm out and grabbed ONCE’s jaw.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

He got up and turned away.

Part 3

[littlemisslipbalm]

“I am not going to join your band”

Summary: You’re longtime best friends with Mitch Rowland and you’re in love with him. When he starts working with Harry you tag along and watch as Mitch falls in love with Sarah. But Harry watches them too and you realize you have each other. 

A/N: Why is this lowkey a Mitch fanfic at the beginning OMG - i didn’t mean for it to be like that but it kind of reads that way. I will definitely be doing a part 2 I just wanted to kind of set the stage for what is to come (likely another three part kind of thing). NOT (really) PROOFREAD AND FEEDBACK MUCH APPRECIATED (I love hearing from you)

Word Count: 2.6k 

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, otherwise this is just HS1 Studio FLUFF

Part 2

---

All your life had been exceptionally boring. And you had no complaints. You were from a family with two parents, two siblings, and a pet. You went to public school and performed well, but never excelled in anything because you didn’t care to. You chose to go to college just an hour away from your hometown, a small liberal arts school. Your life was, by all accounts, average. You weren’t super popular and you weren’t bullied excessively around town. You just existed there.

The only thing, or person, rather, in your life that you really thought made it exceptional was Mitch. Mitch grew up next door to you when you were kids, he was a few years older but he didn’t mind hanging with you. You eventually became best friends and did everything together. Sneaking in through his window to play with his pet lizard when you were seven. Sneaking out with him to drive around in his car and drink stolen alcohol when you were sixteen. You did everything with Mitch. You thought he was your soulmate. While he was quiet with others and that sometimes freaked them out, you either enjoyed the silence or got to see his truly imaginative and beautiful personality.

Mitch was a musician all his life and you sat with him when he learned to play on his thrifted first ever guitar and attended every one of his high school rock band’s shows, even if that meant sneaking into a bar at fourteen.  

Staying close to home wasn’t hard because that’s where Mitch was. Even if nothing ever had even remotely happened between you and Mitch, you held out hope. He had thought about it just once, if neither of you found anyone else it might be nice to have a family together, but he had dismissed it quickly. Mitch saw you as a little sister and loved having you as his best friend who he could tell anything to, but it was never going to be anything more for him.

So there you and Mitch were, living your little lives in Middle America, nothing to your names, but some average education, affordable apartments, and going-nowhere jobs. That is, until one day Mitch’s roommate called him up to ask if he could come play guitar for some musician’s album he was working on. The musician’s guitarist had called in sick and Mitch’s roommate had volunteered Mitch for the job. That’s when Mitch’s life changed, but what about yours?

It was heading into the second week of Mitch working on the musician’s album, who you had found out to be the famous Harry Styles. Mitch had come home after the first day and called you to come over. When you arrived, he told you how Harry and him had gotten along so well and Harry had invited him to keep coming back and playing on the album. You had never seen Mitch so excited and you were happy for him. You couldn’t help the twinge in your heart though when he kept bringing up someone named ‘Sarah’. She was apparently the drummer and had been very nice to Mitch, as well.

Now Mitch had this whole other life and you were sat there like what the hell am I supposed to do now? Then on that Saturday evening, after a long day in the studio for Mitch, he had come over to watch a movie and unwind with you, he asked if you wanted to tag along to the studio with him on Monday and see how it’s going. He was always telling you how cool everything was and you were quick to jump at the chance to both hang out with Mitch and see him doing what he loved.

On Monday, Mitch picked you up and drove you to the studio. When you got inside the building you were already amazed. The place was small, but so incredibly cool to you. You had never been to a real recording studio before and one of the things you and Mitch loved to do together was music - listening to it, playing it, buying it, so this was an unforgettable experience. Mitch walked through one of the bigger studios doors and the two of you entered the part of the studio that was where all the soundboards and tech was.

Harry, the man who had practically fallen in love with Mitch as well, was inside the room already. He turned to Mitch and beamed his large smile, his teeth a shiny white. You could tell why everyone in the world was in love with Harry just from that smile, it was truly an ‘award-winning smile’. “Mitch!” he exclaimed and gave him a tight hug. Mitch only smiled softly. When Harry pulled back his eyes flitted over to your figure standing just slightly behind Mitch. “You’ve brought a friend ‘round, that is so lovely!” he first said to Mitch and then turned back to you, “What is your name, love?” You extended your hand and said your name, Harry only glanced at your hand and then pulled you into a hug as well, a slightly less exuberant hug, but a hug nonetheless. You loved Mitch, but you didn’t understand how this bright and bubbly man had warmed up so quickly to Mitch’s quiet and solemn exterior.

Harry looked at Mitch with something in his eye you couldn’t quite place after the three of you chatted for awhile. “Well, you’re very lucky to have this man in your life, Y/N, he’s one of the best guitarists I’ve ever met, like, holy fuck, he is good.” You smiled at his praise for Mitch, and glanced adoringly at Mitch. Mitch only ducked his head at Harry’s enthusiastic praise. Whatever reasons Harry had for adoring Mitch, you were pretty sure it meant Mitch’s chance to get out of his old life, including you.  

Then, it was time for them to get to work. Harry and Mitch had already written one song together, or at least Mitch had helped Harry to finish it. Today, Harry wanted the band to play it for the first time all together. Harry had told you to make yourself comfortable on the couch in the soundboard room. You watched as the band set up all of their equipment and you felt your ears burn when you saw Mitch talk to the woman you identified as Sarah. You didn’t want to be jealous, you hated feeling possessive over a man that you weren’t even with, but you just felt like you were watching Mitch slip from your life more and more as every moment passed.

The band started playing the opening chords of what Harry had called Woman when he said into his microphone, “Take 1...of many for Woman.” You smiled as you watched Mitch get into his guitar playing for the song, he sounded amazing. But as much as you liked to watch Mitch play, you couldn’t help but stare at Harry when he began to sing. He was talented, beyond talented, his voice sounded angelic to you. He grooved a bit to the instruments as he sang the lyrics. It was a beautiful song, you thought, wishing you could have someone write a song like that about you.  

As the song reached over half way through, Mitch breaks into a rad guitar solo and for the first time since Harry began singing you looked back over to Mitch. That was kind of where the song ended, there was just a final time when Harry proclaims “Woman!” and it ends. You weren’t sure if it was normal to stand and applaud after a studio recording session, but you did anyway. You jumped up and down a little and clapped. The entire band smiled back at you and Harry leaned into the microphone, “Y/N, why don’t you come in here and join us?” You happily agreed and went into the adjoined room.

Harry told everyone to take a breather for about five, so the band was drinking water and chatting. When you got there you immediately belinned to Mitch and began to gush over how much you loved his solo and his playing throughout. Mitch talked in hushed tones back to you, saying where he thought he might speed up or slow down at parts. You didn’t notice Harry had walked up behind you and you jumped a bit at his voice. “Didn’t mean to give you a fright, love. How’d you think it sounded?” Harry inquired. You tilted your head to look up at him, while Mitch was perched on an amp, Harry stood tall beside you. “It was lovely, the lyrics were epic and I loved the beat of it. I was just telling Mitch how amazing his guitar solo was…” your cheeks brightening when you mentioned Mitch. Harry had some knowing smile again.

“You’ll have to thank Sarah for delivering that beat, however, Mitch and I wrote those lyrics,” Harry continued the conversation with you. You couldn’t believe how normal he was for being a world famous singer and boy band member - just a year ago. One Direction was a huge deal, yet here Harry was asking you how you’d liked the song  and talking to you like you knew a thing or two about music. You and Harry talked about the song for a bit more, Mitch staying silent for almost the entirety of the conversation, you noticed his eyes wandered over to Sarah who was talking to Adam, the bassist. Then, it was time for Harry to listen to the song when the tech crew came back. When he did, he made notes for both the band and the tech crew and everyone got back to work. On the third go around of the song, you decided you were done giving them a round of applause.

They worked on Woman for half the day. When lunch time rolled around, Harry decided he was happy with how the song sounded, ‘good for now’ was all he said, obviously still not satisfied with how it sounded. During lunch you sat beside Mitch and across from Harry. The more you got to know Harry, the more you liked him. He was very playful and free spirited, but also took his passion very seriously and was endlessly grateful for the opportunities he had been given. As you warmed up to Harry, you noticed Mitch being a bit more animated. Had he been keeping his guard up because he wasn’t sure if you and Harry would get along?

There was still sometime before the break ended, but everyone had finished eating. You excused yourself to the bathroom, but when you came back, you saw Mitch occupied with Sarah. You looked helplessly on as he smiled and laughed with her. You felt left out as you really didn’t know anyone else but Mitch there. Sure you had gotten to know Harry a bit, but he was a rockstar and a guy you barely knew, you couldn’t just go up to him and ask to become your new best friend. Harry noticed you standing alone and walked up behind you, this time knowing to tap your shoulder to make you aware of his presence. You turned around at the touch you felt on your right shoulder, you were greeted with Harry’s bright eyes and soft smile. “Do you play any instruments?” Harry asked you. That’s random. “Eh, I can play some piano and guitar. I love piano, but I don’t keep up with it as much as I should.” “Well, you should keep coming here with Mitch. You could get some practice in, we’ve got a piano here somewhere,” Harry said as he raised his head and started to look dramatically around the room. “‘S right behind you,” you smiled at the man who had given Mitch a chance and now seemed to be giving you a chance, too. Harry whipped his head around, “Ahh…Well I’ll make sure it’s tuned for you for tomorrow.” You thanked him and the two of you began chatting about Harry’s visions for the album.

Three Weeks Later

“I am not joining your band, Harry, I’m not even that good of a piano player!” You threw your hands up. “Will you hush? You’re amazing, quit denying it,” Harry grinned as he pinned your arms down to your sides and flipped you around, “Now play exactly what you showed me earlier.” He marched you to the piano and plopped you into the accompanying stool. You huffed a sigh and placed your fingers on the keys. “You don’t even have piano on all-” “Ap, bahp, bahp! Plaayyy…” Harry cut you off and then added, “Please?” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Such a baby.

You had been coming with Mitch to the studio for almost a month now. After your first day, Harry had retuned the idle piano for you and you had messed around with it when they weren’t recording. You and Harry had become closer over the time, he realized you were almost the female version of Mitch, but slightly less shy and slightly more opinionated. And you had realized that Harry was the kindest man you knew, only after Mitch. Mitch and Sarah had also become closer in the past three weeks. As much as it pained you to watch, you could never look away. The band and you started to go out every night and every night Mitch and Sarah always ended up sitting apart from everyone else wrapped in their own world. It hurt your heart so much, but you pushed through, happy to be around all the amazing people you had gotten to know. As well, whenever you were left alone, Harry always seemed to pop up, chatting about what was next for the album and what you had been doing on the piano earlier in the day.

Today, you had sought out Harry, wanting to show him something you’d been playing with since yesterday. When he heard what you played he brought up something he had mentioned a couple weeks ago, that you had thought was a joke, he wanted you to join the band - to play keys. You laughed it off, but Harry persisted. Now he was having you play the little random piece you had made up for everyone: the band and the crew. Your stomach was doing flips and your heart was in your throat. This was one of the main reasons you didn’t think you could be in Harry’s band, anxiety. It was minor, but you definitely had some - if your nerves in your physical body and your thoughts in your brain were any indication.

Finally, you began to play. It was the tune of what would become Sweet Creature. When you finished the early sound of it, there was silence. Sarah was the first to clap and then everyone followed quickly after. You ducked your head down and then looked up again with a smile on your face. It widened when you looked over at Harry and Mitch right by your side. You had never had people saying something of yours was great. Harry and Mitch stayed in the studio room with you, excited at the new prospect of a song. The album had reached a roadblock a couple days ago. Harry wasn’t liking any of the songs they were making and he was struggling to write any new ones. This, your art, was a breakthrough. After you had played, Mitch picked up one of the acoustic guitars laying around and began to play the same tune on the strings. Harry began to hum along. They twiddled with your tune a bit, but eventually they had to let it go for the time being. Lunch had ended and they still had to keep working on the other unfinished songs.

-

[crescentsteel]

Keeping a Secret - Prologue

plot: ehehe lemme leave this blank for now as this is only a prologue genre: fluff, crack, slow burn, eventual smut, sexual tension, angst at some point wc: 2.7k

[a/n]

I am reeling just from finishing this one because Tsukki is my boy (Kuroo ily too i swear)

Who writes 2.7k words of prologue? lol me

I’ll set up the masterlist when I’m done with the 1st Chapter.

Thank you so much @oii-sugasan​ and @haikyuu-is-for-lovers​ for the betaread! :)

Let me know if you wanna be tagged

Chapter 1 || masterlist

You aren’t just annoying. You’re a fucking menace. Every time he goes to the gym, your presence is like a plague. You're just a manager, but sometimes he thinks that you think you’re the assistant coach. There’s nothing he’d love more than to shower you with the nastiest, most off-handed comments, just to shut you up and wipe the cheery grin that taunts him every time he sees you. 

Seriously, you’re all over the place -- you talk to all members of the team as if you’re a player yourself, you nag everyone to take care of themselves outside training like you’re their older sister, you hand out self-gathered information on upcoming matches as soon as matchups are announced, you scamper around the gym tossing balls, assembling the net, doing whatever the hell you can get your hands on, all the while wearing those stupid shorts that distract the majority of the team, especially the new members. 

As his eyes follow you, you suddenly turn around to face him, breaking him from his reverie. Even when you’re halfway across the gymnasium, he can see the sharp playfulness that you always exude whenever you talk to him. 

“Tsukishima!” You wave at him with that disgustingly sweet grin. “If you’re done staring at my sexy back, you can start your blocking drills, okay?!” you shout with a voice loud enough for everyone else in the gym to hear.  Tsukishima feels multiple sets of eyes glance towards his direction and he ‘tsks’ in annoyance under his breath.

He immediately walks away. He refuses to hear more of the unnecessary and untrue prattles directed at him by you.  

He hears footsteps follow him. Judging from its pace and heavy strides, he already knows its Kogane without even looking

“Oi, Tsukki. Do you like our manager?”

He doesn’t understand why Kogane is whispering when you’re half a court away from them. More than that, he doesn’t understand why Kogane assumes he likes you. For one, you were wrong: he wasn’t even staring at you. He was staring randomly at nothing while thinking  about how irritating you are and you just happened to be at his line of sight. 

“I don’t see anything to like about her,” he replies passively. 

“What? Why? She’s super helpful -- and pretty too.” Kogane, just like the rest of the team, believes so. Even Kyoutani is fond of you because of that one time you received his spike on full force. You rolled on your back from the sheer power of it but you were able to receive it perfectly, making the whole team go wild when you did, with him as the only exception as he found it inane. 

“If you think so, go confess or something then.” 

“You know we can’t!” Pink stains begin to surface on his teammate’s cheeks, obviously infatuated with you. Then again, this is not new to him. It was a basic reaction from anyone whose dick is more functional than their brain.  Maybe it’s because you’re the only female so close to everyone else. Honestly, he really doesn’t know. But one thing’s for sure. Kogane has 0 chances with you, and neither does every player of Sendai Frogs. 

He remembers the conceitedness you displayed even in your first year as a manager. You two became part of the team almost at the same time. He was two months in when the former manager introduced you to the team. As she finished introducing you, you whispered to her to add something. It went something like ‘oh, umm. y/n-chan also said that no one from the team can’t date her.’ Even the former manager looked at you weirdly but you were just there beaming as you bowed to everybody. 

They thought it was a joke, but when you became a full-pledged manager in less than six months, you announced it yourself. 

‘I know I’m kind of cute, but I won’t ever consider dating anyone from the team. Okay?’

You announce it with a sickening smile every time there are new members, reminding everyone else that you’re untouchable. 

It’s fucking atrocious, to him at least. Unlike the other players from his team, he’s not shallow enough to fancy you just because you’re not disgusting to look at, or that you did your managerial duties so exceedingly well.

He grits his teeth. He hates it. How can someone so chaotic as you be so effective in managing the team. What grinds him even more is that you go to the same university he does, and even there, your presence stinks. He once had a class with you only to find out that you’re not as dumb as you make yourself out to be. 

It’s infuriating. He can’t wait for the day you mess up -- only then would he finally get the chance to diss you. He’ll turn that shit-eating smile of yours upside down. 

--

Man, nothing boosts your mood better than bugging Tsukishima. When you felt his sinister stare boring at your back earlier, you just couldn’t waste the opportunity to say something about it. He just ignored you, but the scowl on his face was enough response to satisfy you. 

The truth is, you have nothing against Tsukishima. Yeah, he has a sharp tongue and a vile attitude, but hey, he’s a good team player. He doesn’t speak much, but he gets shit done in matches. Despite his foul personality, he’s actually manageable: he listens to you and he rarely shows up late. He’s not particularly motivating to look at, but he still does what’s asked of him. For some reason that you don’t know, he still hasn’t spat out his usual, rancid remarks towards you. You know he’s itching to, and honestly, you’re kind of curious of what he’ll throw your way. 

Still, for the last three years he kept his mouth shut even though he looks at you like you’re the most unpleasant being he’s ever laid eyes on. 

“Y/n!”

You jog towards the team coach, Coach Mira. “Yes, Coach?”

“Do you like Tsukishima?” she asks curiously. The question is funny to you but you hold back the laughter and smile instead.

You like Coach Mira a lot. She’s more like an older sister than a coach to you. You’re free to share a few laughs with her, and she values your input to the team. Maybe it’s because you’re both women drowned in a sea of male athletes that you sort of have that innate connection. 

“No, Coach. Why?”

“Cause you pay attention to him the most.”

“I don’t see what’s to like about him,” you veer your gaze towards his direction, watching his scowling face as he walks away, Koganegawa following closely behind him. You can’t hear them, but the sight is already amusing as it is. “I just like putting him in place whenever he’s being extra nasty,” you add. 

“If you say so, y/n. Honestly, I don’t really care if you go out with one of them.” 

You wave your hand back and forth like you’re swatting a fly. “No way, Coach. They’re like little boys I’m taking care of.”

She sweeps her gaze behind you, scanning all the players present in the court. “Can’t say they feel the same way though.” Then she looks at the same person you’re looking at. “Well, maybe except for Tsukishima.”

“That’s why I like messing around with him the most,” you admit with mirth as you watch Tsukishima get away from Kogane.

--

Everyone in the gymnasium is staring as they enter the arena. If there’s one thing opposing teams remember about the Sendai Frogs, it’s their female tandem of a stone-cold coach and a ‘hot,’ bubbly manager who walk side by side in front of the whole team, not the players.

It’s not really an issue for Tsukishima. He doesn’t really care. Shimizu had the same reputation back in high school. But you? You’re not Shimizu. You aren’t even close.

And you, being the chaotic mess that you are, you milked the attention. Whenever someone blatantly gapes at you,  you’d wave at them. You’d even entertain those who openly flirted with you. In retrospect, he should find it despicable. Rather finds it entertaining. So does the rest of the team.

When the Sendai Frogs reach their spot, a guy wearing a Tamaden Elephants jersey approaches you shamelessly. A brave (maybe a little bit foolish) act, considering you’re with the whole team.

“Hi!”

You turn around and greet him just as enthusiastically, maybe even more.

“I just want to say, great game from last season, he says as he scratches the back of his head. 

Liar. 

If the guy really wants to acknowledge the team’s play from last season, he’d approach one of the players. He also wouldn’t have that stupid blush on his awe-struck face. 

“Thank you! Great game indeed,” you return the compliment.

As soon as the guy starts fidgeting, Tsukishima can already guess what comes next: it’s either a date or your number.

“If you don’t mind, can I get your number?”

Tsukishima sneers at how predictable the scene is, and he can’t wait to see what comes next.

You beam at the guy. “Sure! It’s number 1.”

He still smiles even though he’s obviously dumb-founded. “Sorry, what?”

“My number, right? It’s 1. Cause we’re number 1 in the district,” You say with that fake innocence that isn’t really fooling anyone.

“...Uhh.”

“Go Sendai Frogs!” You cheer out of the blue and as if an automated response, the rest of the team, even Tsukishima (though lifelessly), answers.

“Sendai Frogs fight!”

The loud baritone of deep male voices drew the attention of other people in the area, brightening your face up even more as you focus on the guy in front of you again. He looks scandalized by what just happened. 

“How about you? What’s your number?” you ask, pushing the guy to a mental corner as Tsukishima and his team glares at him while waiting for how he’ll answer. An embarrassed blush replaces the previously infatuated one as he realizes that he shouldn’t have made the mistake of hitting on you. 

“I-I’m not really sure,” his voice loses any shred of confidence it once had.

“Oh. That’s too bad,” you feign sympathy. 

“Yeah.” The guy looks down. “Guess I’ll see you around,” he adds before retreating defeatedly.

“Bye! Nice to meet you,” you wave cordially. ‘Whoever you are, newbie elephant,’ you say to yourself as you watch the unfamiliar member of the Elephants go back to his team, a team you wiped the floor with last season.

Until now, you don’t understand why people still even bother. You welcomed the flirtations, but never really went out with anybody. You’re not really opposed to getting in a relationship, but like -- Gooood! They’re all so uninteresting. Rejecting them is more fun than the mere prospect of dating them.

You feel a familiar touch on your shoulder. 

“Good job boosting the team morale,” Coach Mari says in a volume that only you can hear as she pats you.

“Thanks, Coach!” You grin at her praise. 

You turn around to check your players and your eyes instantly land on Tsukishima who had just put on his white headphones and began scrolling at his phone. Around him, everyone else has already started stretching. 

You bounce your way to him, knowing that you’d instantly get his attention even without saying anything. But even with you ogling when you stopped in front of him, he still doesn’t budge.

“Tsukishima.”

No response.

‘Heh,’ you snicker internally. He never fails to amuse you when he tries to ignore you. 

“Tsu~ ki~ shi~ ma~” You bob your head sideways, popping at the opposing sides of his phone so he’ll notice you.

You don’t miss the minute twitch of his eyes as he drags his phone closer to him in an attempt to shut you out. 

Tsk tsk. He should know better by now that you're not the type to back away. 

You go beside him instead, tiptoeing so you can see what he’s so busy looking at. As soon as your arms touch his, he puts down his phone and irritatedly removes his headphones. 

He’s shooting daggers at you, making you giddy with excitement as he looks like he’s about to say something you. You hold his gaze with a raised eyebrow and subtle smirk that you couldn’t suppress. Did he get fed up already? Is he finally going to say something?

‘Do it. Do it. Do it,’ you chant in your head. 

He takes in a painful deep breath instead. “What?” The single word contains so much disdain that you want to cackle so bad. 

“Shouldn’t you be stretching?” you query.

“In a bit.”

You leisurely shake your head with disapproval. “I know you’re a lazy ass fucker sometimes,” you begin. “But you always help us win. You’re our meanest, tallest, best blocker.” Your gaze drops down to his ankles and travels up.

“So,” you continue, dropping your voice amusedly, “stretch those gorgeous, God-given, legs you have.” Your eyes linger on his thighs before landing up to his face to smile sweetly at him. “Will you?”

This is one of the moments you’re pretty sure he won’t dare talk back at you. Why? Because you’re one hundred percent right, and he knows that too. 

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t hate it.

He glares at you for one second and walks towards the rest of the team to join them. 

--

Playing at the professional level, he always considers one match to be a big win already, even if it’s just the first match of the regular rounds. Ever since he became a starter for Sendai Frogs, he was not allowed to slack off even for one rally. He could take the lecture if it’s from Coach, but he couldn’t stomach it if it’s from you. 

Even before the match started, you were already on his grill, pestering him just because he wasn’t warming up yet. He was pissed the whole game and put extra effort than usual to make sure that you won’t have anything to say after. 

“Um, excuse me.” A girl from Red Rabbits blocks him on his way to the restroom. “Tsukishima, right?”

He can tell that she is trying her best to look nonchalant, but the familiar tint on her face is telling.

Tsukishima had never understood girls who approach him for anything remotely romantic. Does he look like he’s interested? It’s not that he’s not open to the idea of dating, but he finds it unpleasant when people go after him because they like how he plays. Worse, for some obtuse reason like him being ‘cute.’

“Yes. Why?”

She smiles at him bashfully with her arms crossed behind her. “I’m also a middle blocker. I was really inspired with how you read block so well. If it’s okay with you, can you teach me how you do it?”

Why would he do that? He’s already a senior college student who’s also a professional athlete. He has no reason to go out of his way to teach someone read blocking. Especially someone who’s already supposed to know it since (as she claims) she’s also a middle blocker. Judging from where they currently are, someone from Division 1 no less. 

“Sorry. I’m really busy,” he says bluntly. 

“Oh, okay. Sorry for bothering you.” She bows then takes off immediately. 

He watches as the girl from Red Rabbits scampers off as quickly as humanly possible. Did she really think he’d agree to it?

He is too occupied to notice the faint sound of footsteps behind him, and only when you speak does he notice your presence.

“Aww, poor girl going out of her way to ask you out.” 

He groans. Why are you even here? You’re supposed to be checking on the team since their match just ended.

You fall into step beside him as he brushes your comment off and continues heading for the rest rooms.

“I didn’t ask her to,” he calmly responds despite your irksome presence. 

“How are you going to get a girlfriend like that?” you ask exaggeratedly as if not getting in a relationship will lead to his ruin.

“I don’t need one.”

You gasp. “Damn, Tsukishima. Men your age are all about raging hormones. Where do you put all that raging testosterone?”

He purses his lips in a corner, his jaw tensing at your remark. Men his age? You talk as if you’re older when you’re in the same year he is.

Also, what the fuck?

Now you’re nagging about his personal life too? You’re already aggravating as the team manager. Now you’re even sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.

His blatant irritation must have shown in his face because you suddenly let out a giggle. “My bad, my bad. Don’t look so scary. Geez. Where you get action is none of my business. I just followed you to let you know that we’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

You turn around, about to go back but stop before you make the first step. “Oh, and we have a meeting later. I did the stat sheets of the game and gave it to the coach already. Great blocking, Tsukishima!” You pat his shoulder twice with a proud smile, then saunter off back to the arena. 

Damn it. If only you aren’t so good at being a manager, he would actually be able to dislike you to the fullest. Not only that, he wouldn’t feel that silly, tiny contentment he felt upon hearing you.

Chapter 1 || masterlist

Taglist:(those crossed out can’t be tagged)

@ameliaxo @suikrem​​ @akaashisslave @tsumurai​​  @babythotshq​​ 

[shelikescolds]

Tag Game

Thanks for tagging me @coldsandfluff , this was really fun to think about! Her original post can be found here.

The game is such:

List your top three whump tropes and tag people.

Whoever gets tagged gets to say how they feel about your top three tropes.

After finishing that, they then list their top three tropes, and the tagging cycle goes on!

@coldsandfluff tropes:

1. A Very Important Person who shouldn’t care about someone’s cold, but does. Like a CEO, a doctor, a huge celebrity… Just someone who obviously has way more important things to care about than the sickie’s cold (because the sickie isn’t part of their inner circle, like an employee or an assistant), but turns out to be a very caring person and goes out of their way to make sure the sickie is well taken care of. And if they’re the grumpy type, they do it in a grumpy way and won’t acknowledge it, but you can totally tell they’re a sweetheart underneath it all. Love it.

Thoughts: I usually prefer writing and reading about characters with little to no power imbalance, but you really sold me on this one! I like the idea of someone important being smitten by someone’s personality/deeds and deciding that they need to make sure this beautiful soul is taken care of properly (and maybe catching feelings along the way). And if the sickie gets really happy or emotional because the person taking care of them is someone they admire? Sign me up! I think that’s absolutely adorable.

2. A cold that develops slowly. You get to witness every stages of a cold through the character. The scratchy throat they think is just dehydration. The nagging headache they ignore. The first few sneezes that are probably just from dust or something. As it progresses, the sickie realizes they’re sick, but they can still go about their business without people noticing; they still have about a day where they can hide it, maybe go to the bathroom to blow their noses, down a whole bottle of Dayquil, anything. But there’s always that one perceptive and ultra caring care-taker that puts all the little signs together and forces the sickie to slow down and rest.

Thoughts: I love this trope so much! It’s fine (and has the potential to be great) when a worse illness develops slowly, but colds and flus don’t have very high stakes and I prefer that most of the time. The slow addition of symptoms, the moment of realization and their reaction to it, and especially that perceptive caretaker that notices and jumps into action trying to take care of them (maybe even before the sickie knows themself) are all great.

3. The forehead feel from two people who have just met. I know this one is not for everyone; some people don’t like to be touched, let alone be touched by someone they barely know, but there’s something so endearing to me about two people who are just starting to get to know each other, for example on a first date, and one of them is running a fever but trying to hide it, and the other realizes it, hesitates for a second, then places their hand on the sickie’s forehead without a word. And then of course the delicious “You’re burning up,” or “Thought so,” or “You’re sick, aren’t you?” or “You feel a bit warm, let’s get you home,” or… I could go on forever. There’s just an added warmth for me when the person isn’t super close to the sickie, but cares just as much and is just as concerned as someone who is.

Thoughts: I like this trope a lot, too! Having the caretaker either grow to care for someone so quickly or just be the type to naturally slide into the role regardless of their relationship to the sickie are both wonderful. I usually prefer one of two extremes with this trope: the caretaker is embarrassed or hesitant to check the sickie’s forehead OR the caretaker is so worried or feels so comfortable around new people that they jump wholeheartedly into a caretaking role immediately. 

My current favorite tropes:

1. Confessing love while sick and feverish. A sickie that is completely worn down and emotional finally cracking and allowing themselves to be vulnerable to the person taking care of them. I’m a sucker for when the feelings confessed are romantic, and the caretaker responds to a teary confession with sweet comfort and reassurance that they love them back, or a confused and playful “I thought we've already been dating...??”. BUT I also absolutely adore platonic confessions of love to the caretaker, especially if the caretaker was worried that the sickie didn’t really like them much before but after the sickie recovers they become close friends or have a new mutual respect and care for each other. Bonus points if the sickie and/or caretaker cries during this confession, it adds to that good good vulnerability.

2. A sickie trying to keep the people they care about away from them so they don’t get sick, too. I think I like this trope so much because it shows how much the sickie cares for the caretaker despite them being so weak and vulnerable. They may desperately crave the company, affection, or care because they feel so awful, but their deep care for the caretaker still shines through even while they’re out of it. Trying to temporarily shut them out, lie about how they’re feeling, putting on a brave face as a way to protect the caretaker from contagion or worry. The sickie can put up as much fuss and drag out the façade as long as they want, but this trope is only one of my favorites if the caretaker ends up taking care of the sickie at some point. Maybe they knew the whole time the sickie was lying because they know them so well, the sickie slips up and it all clicks into place for the caretaker, or the caretaker accidently stumbles upon the sickie when their walls are down when they think they’re alone or in the clear. Just!! The moment the sickie realizes that the caretaker is going to stay with them!! Temporary intense fear of contagion? Full-on sobbing, filled with a jumble of love for the caretaker, fear of making them miserable if they get sick too, relief that they don’t need to suffer alone anymore? Confused as they wake up from a fitful nap to be filled with a welcomed warmth seeing the caretaking making food in another room or watching tv with their hand on their leg? *chefs kiss* All of it. It’s the sickie allowing themself to be vulnerable and accept help and love after putting up a fight to protect a person or people they care about. Wonderful. 10/10 every time.

3. Reluctant caretaker and/or sickie. There are lots of different types of reluctant caretakers or sickie characters, but I prefer characters that are reluctant because they’re weary of contagion, unsure of how the other person feels about them or the situation, or are bad at expressing their feelings (like someone that pretends to be grumpy and reluctant but secretly eats it up and eventually starts to show their feelings as they get progressively more tired or out of it). I like that this kind of reluctance has the potential to add a little bit of tension? Drama? Possible small misunderstandings? I like when it leans more light-hearted, but it’s a pretty versatile trope and can absolutely lean more angsty or be added to slow-burn stuff. For me it’s about that allowing themselves to be vUlnEraBle with each other and working through whatever is causing the reluctance. Bumps along the road are great, but if the fic doesn’t end with at least the implication that things are going to be okay for the sickie and caretaker I won’t be into it all.

Okay, so I’m still getting my bearings after being on hiatus for quite a while, so I’m not sure who is currently active or not right now. 😭 I’m going to tag @gay-for-the-snz , @mochi0chi0chi , and @dylan-1117 ​ , feel free to respond if this seems fun to you, but absolutely no pressure!

[rinisbowen]

I know you mention that you don’t consider yourself a Portwell shipper but you think it’s a really well done ship which I agree as a Portwell shipper. I am just curious which ship do you think was more well done Portwell or Rina? (even though you don’t particularly ship any of those ships which is fine)

tbh it's mostly that i'm i'm less inclined to say i'm super involved in either of the ships more so because my brain hasn't latched on particularly in either direction. i don't dislike either by any means :)

(but that said i also think portwell is very much the direction the story is going for the forseeable future, so that's good for you too!)

but like as far as what was "more well done", for me personally? i have some thoughts. (under the cut for length, and as a side note i apparently can't use small text on asks, so this is LONG.)

approach:

so i think i will start out by saying i'm going to focus on season 1 for ricky and gina, and season 2 for gina and ej, because those were the points where they were like a 'ship' in a more legitimate writing sense. i think ricky's actual feelings for gina in season 1 are genuinely up for debate by the fandom since he never expressed them, but that's not the point here haha. i also know that the story for ej and gina got kickstarted in 1.10 when she glances at him in the auditorium, but that was more a reconsideration moment than a romantic realization moment, so i'll focus on season 2.

i also want to add that in a way, this is comparing apples to oranges, because the goals that are being accomplished in both situations are different. (at least from what i can see at this point in the story).

ricky and gina:

i guess my first thing i'd like to note is that ricky and gina wasn't intended to be a serious romantic thing in season 1. yes, gina was serious in her attraction to / interest in ricky and no one can deny that, but i mean tim even said in interviews that josh and sofia's chemistry in the parts like the car scene after homecoming was unexpected. i know that he follows it with saying that he wanted to keep writing towards it because of this chemistry, but that doesn't make it less true that in season 1, it wasn't intended as a long-game thing. could that have changed in the writers minds since then? sure. but it's notable for me that it wasn't supposed to be (and i genuinely do stand by this opinion despite others believing the contrary.)

the romance between ricky and gina was ricky's ill-fated attempt at getting over nini, and his heart wasn't ever going to be truly in it at that point. i know, i know, 'slow burn', but honestly i guess we'll have to wait and see on that front. even as shippers call it the best writing on the show, i think it's notable that ricky and gina don't really seem to actually be able to help one another. their supportive presence? sure. but not the actual advice necessarily.

the realization moment in the car when gina kissed him on the cheek for ricky was i think about on par with ej glancing across the room at gina in 2.05, but it's also notable for me that he's decidedly more caught off guard than anything else in this whole situation. he wasn't expecting any of that. it felt more like an 'oh' reconsideration (like the 1.10 plane ticket glance) than a wow i like her... if someone wants to give me an actual like- 'realization moment' for ricky and gina if it's not homecoming please let me know, it's been ages since i've actually watched season 1 so i could be forgetting something.

i think the writing was quite good around them in that they accomplished what they needed to accomplish in season 1, which at the end of the day was to prove that ricky really loves nini and still does, and also perhaps more importantly in some ways, that nini still loved ricky. when ricky has his little talking head and says "or maybe i'm back to who i always was", that's the point right there. he falls back into nini so easily because he hasn't actually changed in the time since he's seen gina, not because he needed gina to be gone to go back to nini back like i've seen argued so many times. he's just stopped pretending. i 100% think the el rey scene would've happened in a very similar way even if gina had been at that tech rehearsal, we'll never know, because she wasn't, but that's my perspective. it's just always been nini for him. the arc serves its purpose well, and i think the scenes between josh and sofia were indeed quite well-acted and written, but it's different to portwell in the sense that ricky and gina were clearly just meant to be a midgame of sorts. they didn't even date and that's for a reason.

my one gripe with the writing here is that i wholeheartedly agree with ricky and gina shippers that it's weird they didn't even allow them to speak to each other in season 2B. i am going to go ahead and just counter the argument here that they couldn't talk because the chemistry would be too good. i think my good-faith answer to this is that gina's probably putting distance between them for the sake of her protecting her heart, but we didn't see that, nor did we get any sort of indication that either cared about that distance. i think frankly if the writers were genuinely planning to do the 'slow burn' for ricky and gina they would've shown some lingering glance or at least something that indicates that the distance is impacting one or both.

i totally respect and understand why people ship it, but i think based on the way season 1 was written (and season 2) as of right now it's over and done with. i think season 2 from a general audience perspective was meant to put people firmly in the camp of ej and gina. just the way in season 1 i think we were meant to be curious about ricky and gina, but then seeing nini actively jealous of them for a few episodes and then especially after the el rey basement scene i think the idea was that the general audience should be rooting for nini and ricky to get back together. i think we delude ourselves a bit to say that ricky and gina are inevitable and were written from the start as an endgame all this considered. (also considering that they didn't show the scene between ricky and gina in the finale, that means they consciously decided not to take any impact away from the scene between ricky and nini on purpose, the gravity of their love confession and 'the big damn kiss' {name of the tv trope, you can look it up} scene was where they wanted to settle the score for the season.)

i do very much think ricky and gina's arc was well written, but i don't think it's written as a true potential end game ship. that's why i say it's apples to oranges. (i don't know if ej and gina were supposed to be endgame from the start because i'm not in that writer's room, but they're written more earnestly as to their possibly going in that direction.)

ricky and gina will almost definitely become friends again in season 3, especially because gina is going to be with ej so there's not the same like- tension that might cause her to feel the need to stay away? (again this is my good faith explanation for them not having scenes if they don't address it). but i think a romantic arc between them just isn't in the cards at least right now.

this isn't the point of this post, but i genuinely think that ricky potentially dating lily will put the nail in the coffin for this ship. (not because i think lily's his endgame, i don't). i can get into my thoughts on that another day though if anyone's curious because i do have actual reasons for this.

gina and ej:

considering it as a genuine romantic ship, they're better done, because you know for a fact when you watch them that the goal of them being together is just for them to be together. when it comes to gina and ej, their relationship development is necessarily mutual. whether it's for the long haul is of course still up for debate i would say, but at least for the time being, it's been obvious in season 2, that we know this is happening. ej looking at her differently at the end of 2.05 and gina looking at him differently at the airport in 2.09 is a clear 'realization of feelings' moment for each of them.

we know for a fact that they both like each other. that's a good difference here. it is admittedly more crucial that they express it in their case, because of the fact that they sort of have a less than friendly relationship through season 1, acting more as co-conspirators than friends. but we see that clear shift in the finale, and then on comes the genuine romantic interest in 2b. and like i said at the top of this answer,

they're written so that the general audience will root for them, i don't think that's up for debate. and while i do think that the 'will you be my first kiss' scene should've not been the very last scene so it wasn't underscored by the show's ending audio theme, i think people laughing about the 'circus music' under their moment is a bit overdone. it's literally just the score they use to end their episodes. that's not a choice made for this specific scene, so it's not something to use to discredit the writing of the show or the ship. (i don't have a better idea for scene order off the top of my head, but the point stands).

between 2.05 (where ej realizes) and 2.09 (where gina properly realizes), they sort of build up bit by bit. 2.07 and 2.08 are used to show ej's care for her, and then gina's slip up in the career day conversation is where we really see that yes this is going to be mutual and is definitely happening.

like i said earlier, they're written so that the general audience will root for them, and that's implemented well. i'm not saying this means everyone will like the ship, but it's written intentionally to make people see them as the right choice. for gina specifically, because she's the only one left caught up in a love triangle, ej's was done much earlier.

i don't want to stretch past what we've seen illustrated, so i'm not going to say we know for a fact that gina's entirely past what she's felt for ricky, but i think she's definitely well on her way. i like to be careful when i write analysis on media not to overstate things, because we all have a tendency to do so. it's easier, of course, to say that of course gina's over ricky, she likes ej. but it's not always that simple in life, and we don't yet know for a fact where her head is at. but i don't think she's going to let whatever residual damage there is from the ricky situation take away from what she and ej have. she's put a boundary up with ricky, and he's since then respected that boundary. also, ricky's love interest right now is lily, so that's where his head is going to be for the moment.

i know people say that gina and ricky getting together would likely be character regression for gina, and i think that that's probably true, but i'd almost be willing to take another step and say it could even be character regression for ricky. i think i should leave that conversation for another post, but if anyone's curious about that, i'd love to explain it.

ej and gina aren't my favorite ship on the show, but i respect it and i can very much appreciate that it's being written as these characters' love story. i appreciate that you're able to take in and appreciate what we're being given. i know people say that this isn't super developed as a relationship, but whether or not that's true (and imo it's gotten a decent amount of screentime devoted to it compared to others, but i'm not going to make that argument rn.)

that said- i almost feel like people try to hold them to a higher standard than most of the other ships on this show because they're in conflict with ricky and gina getting together. the couples on this show largely aren't super developed, they go from wow we've spoken on screen like twice to we're into each other and then now we're going to date. kourtney and howie are an EXCELLENT example of this. i get the begrudging respect into hmm you're cool and i like you, and i'm not saying that it's inherently bad. i'm just saying that ej and gina are no worse in the 'underdeveloped' sense than any other ship. tbh the majority of the ships on this show have that same situation, and it's just how the show works with its large ensemble cast.

ej and gina are each others' second chance, we know that from the song, but also just the narrative. they're both learning to open up to other people, and that it's a good choice for them to do so even. gina's learning not to be a flight risk with her emotions, even if she's potentially subject to still not staying anywhere permanently because of her mom's job. she's learning to embrace things in the constancy. ej's learning to open himself up to something genuine as well. it's the facade of being 'ej caswell' that he's having to tear down. they can help each other here.

while i said before we don't know if this is genuinely the endgame, especially depending on the number of seasons we wind up with, at least for season 3 i think they're pretty solidly written as a couple. they will have issues this upcoming season, especially since i think val is here to make ej confront his future. she's an 'age-appropriate love interest' and i know people are zeroed in on that, but i think she's here for ej's arc in regards to his future and not necessarily his love life. could this college-related arc potentially drive them apart, oh absolutely, but only time will tell.

i do think people have a very good point when they mention that if ricky and gina are going to happen, it's crucial to the story of this show that ricky's hands are entirely clean in that breakup. so in that sense, val being a catalyst for that breakup would be helpful in that regard, but i also don't think it's as inevitable to see that ship happen as those same people seem to think. it could, with potential story changes given the writers' possible pr considerations, but it's also not set up that way as of the content we've seen.

[contrabandhothead]

dancing in the dark - band of brothers

- [ MOE ALLEY ]

this man has absolutely no idea what he’s doing

he’s very tense, but it’s only because he’s super nervous

if you get him a few drinks, he’s bound to loosen up a bit over time

he’s pretty good at any type of dancing BUT slow dancing

if you do decide to slow dance, you’re going to have to lead for a while

he catches on quickly, and he only steps on your toes once

he hasn’t stopped apologizing for it though

likes to lean in and press his chin on top of your head

- [ BUCK COMPTON ]

smug bastard... he’s so good at dancing that it’s unfair

i mean, Buck’s good at everything, so it makes sense that he’d be just as good at dancing

he’s probably the one teaching YOU

spins and dips you all the time, but he does it so fast that you feel like you’re going to fall

but of course, he’s there to catch you because he’s your knight in shining armor

firm believer in leaning in really close at the end of the last slow dance and kissing you

dancing on a night out is probably the easiest way for him to show you off, so he does it all the time

he just likes to show everyone how amazing his broad is

- [ CHUCK GRANT ]

this man would probably have to be coerced into dancing with you

like someone cue “i don’t dance” from high school musical 2

he must either be very drunk or you have to argue with him, and if he is sober then he’ll be very grumpy about having to go on the dance floor

he’s not even bad at it???

he’ll never admit it, but he actually has a lot of fun

yanks you close to him and passionately kisses you because he just can’t help himself

he secretly loves it

because let’s be for real here, Chuck is a simp and he’d doing anything just to make you smile

- [ BILL GUARNERE ]

he’s a horrible dancer but you’ll never catch him acknowledging that fact

it’s kind of endearing how bad he is... you just can’t help but join him

he’s definitely the one convincing you to go out on the dance floor with him

just be grateful that he doesn’t step on your toes, even though he’s pretty embarrassing

the only thing he’s good at is dipping you

and you already KNOW he’s going in for a kiss when he does that

it’s probably one of your most common dates

you tease him a lot about his “moves” but he doesn’t care, as long as he gets time alone with you

- [ BABE HEFFRON ]

this poor baby

he knows that he doesn’t know how to dance and he really DOESN’T

he’s going to step on your toes every 2 seconds and you’re going to have to lead the dance

i feel like he’d end up getting pretty good at it if you taught him for some time

he murmurs “1 2 3” under his breath so that he can get the counts right

always staring down at his feet

please just reassure him that he’s doing great

it’s honestly really sweet, and he rubs your feet after as a silent apology for stepping on them so much

- [ JOE LIEBGOTT ]

ABSOLUTELY NOT THIS MAN PUTS UP SUCH A FIGHT

however, whatever you want, you get

so he ends up caving in (but he’s such a grouch about it)

UNTIL YOU REALIZE THAT HE’S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AT IT???

and when you tell him that, he gets so freaking smug about it he’s such a cocky bastard

stares into your eyes until you blush so hard that you have to look away

he just likes to see you flustered, let’s be honest

lets you lean your head against his chest so you can feel his heartbeat

- [ CARWOOD LIPTON ]

THIS MAN

OMG HE IS SUCH A GOOD DANCER AND HE TAKES YOU OUT ALL THE TIME

he gets sooooo flustered if you ask him to dance, he just rubs the back of his neck because it feels so warm

he only does slow dances

he’s so gentle when he grasps your hand in his hwerhiehrhe

AND HIS HAND IS SO WARM AND LARGE AND IT JUST ENGULFS YOUR ENTIRE HAND-

tells you that you look beautiful every 2 seconds while you sway

relentless compliments

- [ GEORGE LUZ ]

this little shit, he’s such a crazy dancer

he does NOT slow dance he’s too hyperactive for that

cheers you on while you dance

he’s pretty goofy when he’s dancing, so expect a little second-hand embarrassment

passionate kissing in the middle of the dance floor in front of everyone??? y e s

he also dances super close to you, but don’t quote me on that mkay

honestly he is most likely very drunk

expect to be comforting him while he throws up in the toilet at home

- [ DONALD MALARKEY ]

HE’S SO SHY ABOUT IT IEERIEIR

Skip & Penk probably bullied coerced him into asking you to dance

he’s so shy at first that he’s barely moving, and he keeps looking behind you

he’s actually looking at Skip, who’s giving him a massive grin and a thumbs up

you have to lean in real close and tell him it’s alright and that you won’t judge him

he gets really flustered when you do that, but he takes your advice

you both danced for so long that your feet hurt

he carried you home one he noticed you wincing

- [ LEWIS NIXON ]

only dances when he’s super drunk... sorry, i don’t make the rules

he actually doesn’t dance when he’s sober because it reminds him of when his father made him take dancing lessons as a child

it wasn’t that he was bad at dancing, he just hated the teacher with a burning passion

but of course, he’s somehow still more coordinated than you are when dancing??? even though he’s drunk???

make it make sense like sis how

he totally does a drunk make-out session on the dance floor with you

he knows some of the MOST complicated dances

he’d totally pick you up like the one scene from Dirty Dancing

- [ EUGENE ROE ]

this man... PROFESSIONAL DANCER

his mom taught him, and he used to dance with his grandma all the time

honestly he’s the master of dance, so you might just as well sit this one out and enjoy the view

no, like, seriously, enjoy the view

why??? because this man can sway his hips like there’s no tomorrow

honestly i see him as a very touchy person when he dances

he needs to have at least one hand on some part of your body

king of grinding

- [ RONALD SPEIRS ]

he’s Roe’s only competitor for the title of Dance King

his nickname is Dirty Dancing and no i don’t take constructive criticism

he’s good at dancing and he KNOWS IT

he’s so smug when you blush after he asks you to dance

he looks at all the other troopers at the table when you accept and he’s like “mhm, i just did that and they just said YES”

also probably grinds but he 100% does it on purpose to get you riled up

probably has to be mildly tipsy to get the courage to ask you to dance

especially if other people are around you

- [ FLOYD TALBERT ]

someone gave this man too much confidence for the dancing skills he has

like he’s not bad... but he should not be that cocky with the basic moves he’s got

and he’s sooooo confident when he asks you to dance

you knock down his confidence a bit when he realizes how much better at dancing you are

it’s fine, he has enough ego for the both of you when it comes to dancing

he’s very good at partner dancing

and yes, he will indeed grip your waist

he squeezes your hips too

- [ JOE TOYE ]

nuh uh

not happening, he’d actually rather die

he’d be drunk and you’d still be arguing with him!!!

lucky for you though, he’s drunk, so he doesn’t have 90% of his strength and you can just drag him on to the dance floor

he’s so drunk that he can only slow dance

he rests his head against your shoulder and pulls you super close, letting you lead the dance

he’s at the perfect angle for you to whisper a small thanks that only he can hear into his ear

he goes so red, even the tips of his ears are flushed

- [ DAVID WEBSTER ]

THIS MAN WENT TO PRIVATE SCHOOL SO OF COURSE HE KNOWS HOW TO DANCE

his parents totally made him take lessons so he wouldn’t embarrass them when they went to galas

and don’t get me wrong, he’s very good at traditional dances

but he doesn’t know how to let loose, so you have to teach him

he gets the hang of it really fast, but it’s really funny and cute at first because his face is scrunched up in concentration

honestly it’s probably the most fun he’s had in his entire life

and he just can’t stop smiling at you

he’ll never forget it

- [ RICHARD WINTERS ]

omg he’s such a gentleman

even if you said no to his request, he’d still be super nice about it (which ofc you don’t because IT’S LITERALLY DICK WINTERS)

only knows the basic slow dances, but he’s really good at them

he wants to make sure that you’re comfortable and that he’s not overstepping his boundaries, so you’re going to have to make the first move

he’s so sweet and respectful about it, he doesn’t try to grope you at all

he keeps his hand firmly against your lower back and makes sure it doesn’t slip any lower

he also stares into your eyes to make sure he’s doing everything right (also because he just thinks you have the prettiest eyes)

you kiss his cheek when he drops you off at home, and he turns the prettiest shade of red ever

hey!!! i hope you liked this, i tried lol. i know you sent this over message, so i’ll @ you just to make sure you see it! i had a lot of fun writing this, thank you so much for sending a request! i hope you have a lovely week 💕 @claudiastrollo

[weasleypogues]

selfish (r.c.)

request: could you do an imagine where rafe has cheated on you at topper’s/kelce’s party and he justified it, when he was drunk or high, (when you caught him) as “I’m not sure if ever really loved you, I just knew you loved me and that fed my ego” x

sooooo, warning: this does not have a happy ending. i felt like there is no way someone can bounce back from this. but i really had fun writing it thought aha. 

masterlist.

the moment could not stop playing like a broken record in your mind. you saw her delicate hands run through his messy, gel-ed hair. she had her left leg wrapped around his waist as he had her pinned against the wall in some random room in topper’s house. you watched as his hand slid from her ass to fully support her leg that rested on him. that should’ve been you. 

you couldn’t even explain what you felt at that moment. everything went in slow motion yet at super speed. you knew your mouth was slightly parted but you couldn’t tell if what left your mouth was a slight sob out of sadness or a chuckle out of angry disbelief. 

you should’ve realized that after shotgunning a couple of beers, taking shots, and doing three lines, that it wasn’t going to end well. but you weren’t one to stop him. you knew how he got when someone tried to control what he did in his life. but there was still that side of you that wanted to help him because you loved him with every cell in your body.

but even though all those cells would take a bullet for him, they all felt like they were crumbling away and that you wouldn’t care what happened to him in this moment. you could vividly remember his glazed over eyes and sloppy grin as he looked over at you when pulling away from the mystery girl.

“go fuck yourself, rafe.” you somehow muttered even though the lump in your throat felt like it wouldn’t even allow oxygen to pass through, let alone words. you saw his eyes and mouth fall slightly and wondered if that was his way of regret or if he really was just too fucked up to even know how wrong this was. 

tears streamed out of your eyes, blurring your vision through the party. no one even paid attention to you and your feelings as you fought through gross make-outs and loud games of beer pong or lines being snorted left and right. suddenly you came to a halt after running into someone.

“woah woah woah, (y/n). leaving so soon?” topper questioned while laughing. his face dropped when he saw your red, puffy eyes. “fuck....what’d he do?”

“more like ‘who did he almost do’? i saw his tongue shoved down some random girls throat.” you somehow choked out, before pushing past him and ripping your wrist out of topper’s grasp. you ran further and further from the party and the loud music became quieter and quieter. 

it was way past 1 am so you were sure your parents would be asleep. you made your way inside and made a b-line to your bedroom. you were positive that your tears had washed away all your makeup and if there was some remaining, you didn’t have the energy or motivation to take it off. you checked your phone one last time before plugging it in, praying that rafe had sent you dozens of texts and phone calls apologizing, but he hadn’t.

---

you woke up to your phone buzzing on your nighttable next to you. something as small as a phone call snapped you right back to the memory of what happened last night. and if it wasn’t for the phone call to remind you, it was the feeling of your puffy eyes and throbbing headache. you reached for it and saw topper’s name on the screen. you felt relief but also a tear in your heart. you wanted it to be rafe because you wanted him, for once, to take responsibility for his actions and realize how much he fucked up. but you were slightly relieved it was topper because you didn’t even know if you could forms thoughts let alone words if it was rafe’s contact name on your screen.

you pressed decline and placed it back on your night table before rubbing your eyes and sighing. you couldn’t do much but think. when you next spoke to rafe, did you want to express feelings that you were sad. that you were angry. confused. a mix? the more and more it crossed your mind, you still felt heartbroken but anger rose in you at the sheer fact that he thinks he can pull something like this. you bit the inside of you lip and basically ran to your bathroom to freshen up.

you were determined to march your way into rafe’s house, whether you were invited in or not. you were going to give him a piece of your mind. you were going to explain how he fucked up so badly and that he doesn’t deserve you. you were definitely going to do all of this if it wasn’t for the fear that once you saw his rosy cheeks, blue eyes, and messy morning hair, you would break down and be at a loss for words. 

after getting on your shoes, grabbing your phone and keys, you sped to his house. this drive was one of those car rides where speed limits felt like a suggestion, there wasn’t any music playing, and to be honest you couldn’t remember if the traffic light back there was even green. 

you could see in the rear view mirror that your speed was throwing the sand and dirt from his drive way into the air and you came to a sudden halt. locking your car, you opened his front door without hesitation. marching towards his room, you swung open his door and saw him sound asleep, without a shirt on. 

at this point, you were fuming. you knew if you didn’t take the road where you were threatening, he wouldn’t be so intimidating and maybe you’d get your point across for once. but then again, you ran your eyes over his body. how he lied on his back and his right arm rested to out to the empty spot that you usually took. when you would wake up earlier than him, you would admire the fact that his lips were slightly parted, and you could hear him breathing a little heavier. his chest rose up and down slowly. or the way that for some reason, all guys twitched in their sleep? you would always have to hold back your giggle when that happened.

you bit the inside of your lip, now or never. you placed your keys loudly on his dresser, in hopes of waking him up. your heart was racing at the speed of light, afraid of how this would turn out. you watched rafe’s eyes fluttered open and his eyebrows furrowed together at the change of light from his deep sleep to his brightly lit room. he stretched and looked over, noticing you. it seemed in that moment that all memories came flooding back to him.

“fuck.” he muttered in a husky morning voice. usually that voice would practically make you swoon but not today. 

“fuck is right. care to fucking explain? because nothing whatsoever is crossing my mind at the fact that you can just easily throw what we have away.” you choked out, startled by your new found confidence to confront rafe. 

“i was so far gone, (y/n). i barely remember it.” rafe tried to defend himself, sitting at the edge of his bed and sluggishly running a hand through his hair.

“i could not give two shits if you were gone or sober. it happened either way, rafe. did you not think it fucking hurt me to see your hands all over some other girl?” you responded, tears brimming your eyes at the rememberance of it but you quickly brushed them away before they could fall. 

“it happened, okay? there’s nothing i can do about it. i’m sorry that it did. it was fucked up.” he answered, but you could tell by his posture that it was not sincere whatsoever. you shook your head, slightly biting the inside of your lips. deep down you prayed that he would feel remorse and practically be begging on his knees for your forgiveness. but this hurt so much fucking more.

“i loved you, rafe. i changed so much of myself for this relationship. even if you weren’t out partying or getting high, i still loved you for you. you told me you loved me, but if you actually loved me you wouldn’t want to hurt me like this.” you stated, finally letting the tear fall out at slight defeat. “what about all the times we would hang out at the beach. lay on your boat until 6 am talking about complete nonsense. we baked cookies for the sweet old lady down the block, for fucks sake. you were my first time, rafe. doesn’t that mean something?”

“(y/n), fuck. look.........i’m not really sure i ever loved you. i just knew you loved me. that fed my ego.” rafe responded. he was brutally honest and usually you admired that side of him because you sugar coated things, but this time you wished he had followed your lead for once. 

that same lump from last night formed in your throat and you felt your chest fall suddenly in shock. “burn in hell, rafe.” you spat out before making your way out of his room. 

“(y/n), wait. it-it’s not like that.” rafe tried to call out but in your mind, it was too late. you hopped in your car and sped away so fast you were sure his white house was covered in the sand and dirt from his driveway. 

there was no going back from this.

[to-a-merrier-world]

turned-into-a-dragon!zuko au

so i had an idea but don’t have the time to write it, but wanted to share if anyone else wants to take a crack at it. the basic idea is zuko is turned into a dragon by a spirit and also there’s some zukka cause why not.

so here’s a more fleshed out explanation: two years into zuko’s banishment, he accidentally ends up stumbling into the spirit world. while there, he meets the spirit of the first dragon--only zuko doesn’t know he’s meeting a dragon or such an important/powerful spirit because they appear to him in the form of a child. zuko ends up insulting them or something along those lines, but instead of punishing zuko, decides to help him in a very spirity way--teaching him a lesson through transformation. the spirit turns zuko into a dragon and sends him back to the physical world saying he can only be turned back into a human when he regains his honor. 

zuko, of course, is in a true pickle. 1) he’s now a dragon, which were hunted down to extinction decades ago; 2) the one person who might recognize him and be able to help is his uncle, who killed the last dragon and would probably kill zuko on sight; and 3) zuko’s one way to avenue to restore his honor--capturing the avatar for his father--is now basically completely out of his reach. (all three of these are wrong, but they’re what zuko thinks, so)

so, zuko stews for a while but eventually decides he just needs to get used to being a dragon. he avoids the fire nation and after months of flying around (lots of misadventures and near-death experiences) he ends up at the eastern air temple, where he meets guru pahtik. after a while, pahtik builds up enough trust with zuko for zuko to allow him close enough to touch him. which is when they both find out that the dragon spirit left zuko a gift--the ability to communicate through touch. if someone is touching him, they can hear his thoughts and so he can finally talk to someone. after some good spiritual advice, pahtik advises zuko to seek out his uncle and try to communicate with him so that maybe zuko can finally begin his journey to restoring his honor and becoming human again.

of course, finding his uncle is the main problem. while zuko has been gone, iroh has been desperately searching. officially, zuko has been declared dead in the fire nation. when he disappeared without a trace and no ransom was issued, it was assumed he died and his body was never found. iroh, though, never gave up the search--he already lost his first son, and he loved zuko dearly, so until he had a body, he just couldn't let it go. so now iroh is chasing after every tiny hint, and getting all of nowhere. and zuko can’t exactly go around asking for anyone who has seen his uncle.

so now zuko is stuck flying around, using his keen eyesight, hearing, and nose to try to find his uncle--without much luck. it’s while flying around looking for him that he ends up flying into the last people he ever expected to meet at this point: the avatar. and by flying into i mean literally almost crashes into them because usually there’s nothing else up there but birds, who tend to avoid zuko. they all end up on the ground, and aang introduces himself to the dragon as the avatar. sokka and katara are super shocked because they thought dragons were extinct for decades. zuko at first wants to grab aang and fly back to the fire nation as quickly as possible, but then realizes that 1) he has no idea how he’ll capture the avatar when the most he could do is hold him in his mouth right now and 2) his father and the rest of his people would probably kill a dragon on sight. but then has a sudden idea: he can use the help of these three to find his uncle, and then he and his uncle can capture the avatar together. his uncle can vouch for him being zuko and then zuko’s honor will be restored and he’ll be human again!

so, zuko gets aang to touch him so they can talk and aang agrees to help him find his uncle--but that they’re also heading towards the north pole, so it’ll have to be on the way.

i’m thinking that a lot of bonding happens, and zuko starts to feel really guilty. eventually--because no one in the gaang will let go of zuko’s hella vague explanation of why he was turned into a dragon and how he can turn back--the gaang finds out about who zuko really is and that to “regain his honor” he needs to capture the avatar and bring him to his father. however, the gaang finds out that the spirit didn’t specify how zuko needed to regain his honor, so there are other ways. zuko doesn’t really agree, but he also has started to like all of them and... he knows what fate would befall aang if he gave him to his father. (cue zuko having a major internal crisis).

i don’t really know where it goes from here, but eventually iroh and zuko reunite, zuko changes as a person and eventually really becomes a member of the group and eventually even sacrifices himself to save aang’s life (probably against azula?). when he does this--fully renounces his intention to capture aang, recognizes that he needs to help aang end the war, starts to put the well-being of others/the world above pride and himself, lets go of his shame, relearns how to love, and learns true humility and self-sacrifice--he finally turns back into a human. he regained his own honor by being the best version of himself--by being a good man.

they still have to face the fire lord though and end the war, but i haven’t really thought that out either. also, zukka happens in there somewhere idk, kinda beauty and the beast but also not really lol. very slow burn, i imagine lots of miscommunication (esp with zuko as a dragon), and nothing really happening until zuko is a human again lol.

ALSO i’m picturing zuko as a smaller red dragon (not as big as the one he and aang meet in the sun warriors episode) and he still has the scar. and when he transforms back into a human, he doesn’t have any clothes and his hair looks like it hasn’t been cut since he transformed and is therefore long.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 47

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: last filler chapter. the next 3 chapters are all planned. this is the end omg im so sad! i love you guys so much for sticking to this story! thank you so so much! the others chapters will be separated in two so i can write each POVs :)

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : this is, i believe, the last request i’ll add to this story. thank you times a million to all of you who sent some! I received over 200 requests just for YOU&ME! you guys are incredible and i hope youll want to participate to my next story as much as you did for this one! 

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 47 : His chapter

NIALL

October 2018

Tour was finally over and we were back home. We had decided to get back to California for a while, if only to spend some time with friends and relax. I knew Olivia wanted to be around Louis and I just enjoyed being in LA for obvious reasons. Things had never been better between us but at least once a day, I could feel the ring I bought burning in my pocket or whispering to me from my underwear drawer. It always felt like the right time to get on one knee and ask her and at the same time, it also never felt like it was the perfect moment. I knew it was ridiculous because I was pretty sure she wanted to spend her life with me, but I was scared of being rejected, I was scared of what a 'no' would do to us and to our relationship. So many times, I had looked in her eyes and almost dropped down on one knee to ask her to be my wife, but I never did. I liked to believe I hadn't asked her yet because I knew she deserved something bigger than just me giving her a ring in a hotel room while we're waiting for our ride to the airport, but it was definitely not the biggest problem. I was just fucking scared and every time the words were about to come out of my mouth, I'd swallow them. I had no idea who I was trying to fool : Olivia was never the type to enjoy attention or extravagant things. She was reserved and private, pretty much like me, and I knew my proposal didn't have to be anything wild. It could be simple, and cheesy, and as long as I could find the right words, it would be perfect.

I heard the key in the lock and it took me out of my thoughts, pushing away my inner confusion. I waited until the door opened and she appeared, making my lips curl. She made a quick head movement but everything seemed to go on slow motion, like in a movie, and i watched her hair fly behind her shoulder. I was in it so deep I almost groaned and grimaced at how cheesy I was.

"Hey babe, what are you doing?"

I breathed in deeply, realizing I had completely stopped, and sent her a smile, licking my lips.

"Waiting for you like the loser I am." I half-joked before chuckling. "You were with Louis? How's he?"

She smiled at me and took a step closer, tilting her head. "First off, you're not a loser. You're cute. You're sweet. You're super endearing." she just said, staring at me fondly. Her expression changed and she glanced down, sucking on her bottom lip before putting her purse next to the couch. "I was not with... I didn't spend the night with Louis."

I frowned, waiting for her to continue and when her eyes met mine, I knew it was bad.

"I went to dinner with Dylan."

My lips parted and my heart jumped in my chest. I was never the jealous type and I was not about to start now, right? Then why did something seemed to stir in my stomach? Why was there a lump in my throat that had seemed to appear suddenly?

"No way, tell me you're kiddin'."

"Niall, please-"

"No, don't act like this is normal and that I'm stupid to be angry." i cut her, shaking my head. "I can't believe you spent all this time alone with Dylan."

She sighed again and sat on the couch, rubbing her hands on her eyes. I walked closer and dived my hands in my pockets, trying to remain calm but the truth was, I was hurt and I was not sure what all of this meant. All I knew was that I felt betrayed and I could barely believe we'd have to go through something like this again. This time, the roles seemed to be reversed but I didn't want this to break us.

"Obviously, you knew it was wrong since you purposely omitted to tell me." I continued, pressing my lips together to be sure I wouldn't let out a mean remark. "Why did you do that to me, Liv?"

It took her a few seconds but she finally got up very slowly, right in front of me. Her body was close, so close I could feel the warmth of it on my skin, but I just stared in her eyes, feeling my heart soften at the way she was looking at me.

"I don't love him, you know it." she expressed in a soft tone. "I don't love anyone but you. He's still my friend, and also my co-worker. I probably shouldn't have gone with him, especially not without telling you, but... I don't know, Niall."

I stared at her for what felt like an hour as I tried to calm the beatings of my heart and finally passed one of my hands in my hair and sat down on the couch. She turned around to face me but remained up as I shook my head.

"I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't be friends with, and I do trust you." I let out carefully. "But Olivia, how would you feel if i came back here one night and told you I spent the evening with Heidi?"

I could feel her body tense near mine but I didn't look up at her. I waited and eventually, she sat next to me and reached for my hand on my thigh, squeezing my fingers with both her hands.

"I'd feel betrayed, and sad, and... and hurt." she admitted. "I'm sorry Niall, it was wrong of me."

I brought my other hand and placed it over hers, squeezing her hand and brushing my thumb on the top of it.

"If it can reassure you though, Dylan is seeing someone." she added, making me look up in her eyes. "A pretty blonde. Actress too. Not your type, obviously, but I think they really fit."

"Not my type?" I repeated in an amused tone, raising my eyebrows. "Says who?"

"Your dating history." she explained with a chuckle. "She's a small cute blonde and you like tall and sexy brunettes."

I pressed my lips together again and shook my head. "Naa, that's not true anymore." I just shrugged, making her frown. "I just like one sexy brunette."

She laughed and tilted her head. "You're crazy, I'm not sex-"

I cut her by pressing my palm against her mouth and raising my eyebrows, moving slightly closer. My eyes roamed on her again as something jumped in my stomach. I wanted to ask her to marry me at this exact moment. I wanted to tell her she was everything I needed in this life and that my heart was aching for her to become my wife. Instead, I breathed in and finally swallowed.

"Don't argue with me. You're sexy." I whispered before moving my hand away very slowly. "And I love you."

She licked her lips and the left corner of her lips raised up. "Your love is blinding you." she whispered, moving closer to brush her lips against mine. "But I appreciate it. I love you too."

She kissed me so gently that if I had closed my eyes, it would have felt unreal, and when she pulled away, I saw her facial expression change.

"I'm sorry, Niall. That won't ever happen again." she apologized gently in a soft tone.

"I know." I whispered before suddenly realizing something. "Hey, does that mean he broke up with Heidi?"

Her lips curled and she shrugged. "Yea, that's what he told me tonight. I feel a bit sorry for her, she's been through a lot in the past few weeks."

I stared at her for a few seconds, surprised by her words but at the same time a bit impressed. The fact that she could be empathetic even to people who were mean to her was something I appreciated. Of course, we hadn't been too kind to Heidi either and Liv was not wrong, she had been through a lot, even if it was not all on us and that she had put us through a lot too. Still, I felt my lips curl and she tilted her head before sighing as she turned her upper body my way.

"It's horrible what we all did to each other, don't you think?"

My traits softened and I nodded. "It is." I admitted in a low tone. "Let's just use this so we never do that again."

Her lips curled a bit and she licked them slowly as I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Her arms slithered around my neck and I sent her an amused smile.

"It won't ever happen again." she confessed, tilting her chin up. "I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you."

Her words made me chuckle and I raised my eyebrows, still looking at her, "Oh what a coincidence, I plan the same with you."

I brought one of my hands to her cheek before pressing my forehead against hers. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. It made me smile and gently, I rubbed my nose against hers, making her chuckle low.

"Shower?" I proposed in a low tone.

"Mm no, a bath. Together."

I laughed a bit but we ended up in the bathroom together as she filled the tub with warm water. I let my eyes roam on her as she got undressed, leaving her clothes on the cold tiles, and when her eyes met mine, she raised her eyebrows. The left corner of my lips raised up into a cheeky smile and she just shook her head but I took a step closer, placing my hands on her waist and making her smile too.

"Fifteen minutes without thinking about sex. Please." she asked, tilting her head and making me laugh.

"But you're just standing naked in front of me I mean..."

"Niall James Horan, you're not sixteen anymore, you can be around a naked girl without feeling the need to shag her, i'm sure!"

"Around any other girl, yea, but when it's you..." I let out, half-joking and making her roll her eyes.

"Come on, get naked too." she let out as she started working on my pants. I helped her take them off and before she could do it, I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head, letting fall on the pile of her clothing on the floor. "Alright, seeing you in your usual white boxers does something to me." she admitted, bringing her hand to my cock over my boxers and biting her bottom lip.

"Look who's all horny now." I laughed as she got on her tiptoes to kiss my lips, letting go of me and smiling against my mouth. "Come on, get in the tub."

After a few minutes, I was sitting in the tub, legs spread, and she was sitting between them, her back leaned against my chest. I didn't remember us ever doing that before but I enjoyed it a lot more that I thought I would. We started talking and laughing together and it was exactly like when we were younger and we'd spend all night talking together. Well, almost : the younger versions of us were definitely not naked.

"I can't believe we're dating again." she let out after a while as her thumb brushed gently on my arm. "If someone had told me that a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed it. Who would have thought?"

"Me." I replied before she moved slightly to look at me. "I mean, I wrote 'you and me' about that. I knew we were meant to be, and I've always known I wanted to spend my life with you."

I knew this discussion could go wrong but I had to be honest about all of this.

"I could have refused, you know. I could have been over you by then." she argued calmly. "I thought I was. But then you appeared with that stupid gorgeous mug of yours, that fucking insane smile and those ridiculously incredible eyes..." She shook her head. "I had no chance to win that fight."

I let out a loud laugh and she tilted her head to reach my chin with her lips, leaving a small kiss on my skin.

"When I found out you were getting married... I started doubting everything." I admitted, looking down at my hand moving slowly to bring warm water on her skin after seeing her shiver. "I thought maybe it was too late. But I couldn't seem to give up."

We remained silent for a while until she grabbed my hand and squeezed my fingers tight. "I'm glad you didn't."

"Me too." I whispered. "And I feel so lucky that you gave me an other chance."

Once again, she turned around slightly but this time, I moved my chin down to kiss her lips.

"We don't even have an anniversary date." she pointed out, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Of course we do! It's April 16th of this year."

I felt my heart jump at my words and held my breath. April 16th was the day I bought that promise ring for her in Paris. It was when I decided that I wanted to marry her and that I would ask her to be my wife. Since that day, I had almost asked her so many times I couldn't count anymore. I hadn't dropped on one knee yet but I knew that I would at some point, and April 16th was the day I realized that. Some days I would bring the ring with me in my pocket, some other days it would stay in one of the drawers in our room, but it was always in the back of my mind. I obviously couldn't tell her that and when she turned around an other time to frown at me, I suddenly remembered something she had said.

"Y-Yea, I mean you don't remember?" I stammered. "There was an article about that earring you gave me and you said that you didn't care that people knew we were together."

We had also mentioned not being official the day after, I remembered that too. but I decided not to mention it. I was pretty sure she had mentioned that we were together but I was also aware it was probably just a bad choice of words. She was right, we didn't have an anniversary date, but I hoped that it would become that date if only because it was a big day for me and I hoped it would become a big day for her, too.

"I don't remember, but I trust you." she just shrugged before her lips curled. "Alright, April 16th, then."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and I kissed her gently but firmly again, making her chuckle against my mouth. I could have spent the whole night with her body pressed on me as we chilled in hot water but after a while, we got out, dried ourselves and got back to our room to put on pajamas.

"I'll make us some tea." she proposed as we walked back to the living room and she finally disappeared in the kitchen.

I sat on the couch and started looking for the remote on the coffee table. I was about to give up when something caught my eyes and I grabbed her notebook. It was similar to mine but of a different color and I knew she wrote ideas for her tv show or her future book in it. I was about to ignore it when I realized it was open and I could have sworn I had seen my surname. Without thinking, I grabbed it and a smile appeared quickly on my face when I saw 'Olivia Horan' scribbled everywhere on a page, surrounded by hearts and stars. It seemed like she had tried to create a signature with her future name and it made me think about the ring in my drawer. If I was scared she wouldn't accept, that notebook was a good clue that her answer would probably be positive. I put it away when I heard noise and leaned against the couch as I watched her walk slowly up to me to make sure she wouldn't spill our hot beverages and I thanked her as I grabbed a mug. She sat next to me and our eyes met before our lips curled. I couldn't believe how happy I was.

"I love you, Niall. I'm... I'm glad we're dating now." she admitted before taking a sip.

"Me too, petal. I'm happy you accepted to be my girlfriend again."

                                                     ---

December 2018

When Liv told me she was spending the day with Julia, I was a bit surprised, but the truth was, I enjoyed the fact that these two got along so well. She said she wouldn't be home late but I knew how she could get and when Louis proposed that we grabbed a bite (and a few pints, of course)  together, I jumped on the occasion.

I knew Louis had become Olivia's best friend and even if we used to be very close, I was fine with that. Somehow, they had been through a lot together, and I knew it was partially my fault : they probably wouldn't be that close if I hadn't broken up with Liv. Of course, they'd still be friends, since they were before we broke up, but I knew their pain brought them closer and it was obvious that nothing could tear them apart now.

I was also slowly but surely getting over the fact that Louis and her had sex a few times. I was not sure how often but I was sure I didn't want to know and anyway, i couldn't blame her or him. It had happened and I had to live with that fact. Besides, I knew there was nothing between them anymore.

I smiled when I saw Louis walk in the restaurant and got up to hug him before we both sat back down. We ordered beer and when we got them, we clinked our glasses together and drank half of it. It was weird to think I was with Olivia's best friend and she was actually hanging out with mine, but the fact that we appreciated each other's entourage was perfect.

"So, Neil, how are things for you?" he asked, playing with his beer and turning it around in his hands. "Where's my queen tonight?"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, amused. "Your queen is with Julia, but she's not supposed to come back home too late. She'll text me. Where's El?"

"Gone for a few days."

"Ah. That's why you called me." I pointed out before laughing when I saw his face. "It's ok Tommo, I get it."

"I'm thinking you're ding quite well these days." he pointed out, ignoring my last comment. "When are you gonna pop the question?"

I almost choked on my beer and wiped my mouth on my shoulder before swallowing hard and making Louis laugh.

"We've just been taking bets on that." he continued, shrugging a shoulder.

"We?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Liam and I. Trying to bring Harry in it but he says it's none of our business."

"I've always thought Harry was the smartest of my bandmates." I joked, making Louis laugh again.

"Oh yea, you definitely thought that when he was balls deep in your best friend's fanny right?"

"Shut up, Tommo!" I frowned as he laughed again. "He probably shagged her less times than you did."

Louis took an other big sip of his drink. "Touché." he shrugged again before chuckling. "Not sure what it says about the relationship they had, though."

I raised my nose up in a grimace and drank what was left of my beer. I didn't really want to have this discussion and I decided to change the subject.

"Well, I don't know which bet you took, but I hope you lose." I admitted as I looked through my pocket, taking out the ring and placing it right in the middle of the table.

Louis' eyes got bigger and he moved closer, bending down to look it it without daring to touch it. I stopped the waitress to order us two other beers and a few shots and when I turned back to my friend. he was still staring at the ring like he didn't know what it was. I snatched it quickly, taking him out of his thoughts, and put it in my little finger to stare at it.

"I've thought about asking her so many times." I confessed, my eyes still on the ring. "But it never feels like the right time."

"I know you're a romantic man, Niall but... will there ever be a right time?" Louis said gently, making me sigh. "Aren't you just a bit scared that she'll say no and leave?"

I groaned and closed my eyes before raising my nose up in a grimace again. "Maybe."

He was right, I knew it, but at the same time, i wanted to make it special for her. I wanted it to be something that she'd remember forever, something she couldn't forget even if she tried. I wanted to express my feelings to her and tell her everything she wanted and needed to hear, just to make her happy. I had tried to write down the right words but everything seemed cliché and cheesy.

"Do it. She's your soulmate. I can't make up a scenario in my head where she'd actually say 'no'." he continued. "I think deep down, you know I'm right."

I looked up and sighed again, putting the ring back in my pocket.

"I don't know anymore, I just don't want to take her for granted, you know?" I shrugged. "I've done that before and it messed up everything. Never again."

"That doesn't mean you can't be confident and believe in the love she has for you."

I frowned a bit as I stared at him. "Are you trying to win your bet against Liam by making me ask Olivia to marry me?"

"No." Louis chuckled, leaning against his chair. "I just think you've been hesitant for too long. When exactly did you buy this ring?"

"Mm, well, about, 8 months ago?"

Just saying it out loud sounded ridiculous. Had I been waiting that long? It was almost pathetic. How scared of rejection could a guy be? Seriously. I had never reacted like that in anything I did before, and I was always the confident type, but asking Olivia to marry me was something that made me so nervous I could feel my hands sweat and I passed one of them in my hair.

"8 months? Are you fucking insane? How did you manage to keep that secret?"

"I don't even know." I mumbled in a low tone, staring at my glass, not daring to check Louis' amused expression.

"Niall, we're talking about Olivia. The girl you've known all your life, the girl who's been in love with you since the very first day she found out what love was. Put your big boy pants on and pop the fucking question before that fucking ring starts to get rusty!"

"It's made of gold...."

He rolled his eyes and kicked me under the table, making me groan again as I moved my leg away. Damn, that kid could kick.

"Don't be a fookin' idiot, mate, and just ask her."

I finally looked up in his eyes and he raised his eyebrows at me. He was right but at the same time, I didn't know when I should do it. I wanted to do something special, or at least slightly romantic, but all I could think about were ugly clichés from movies. Nothing original came to mind and it was driving me insane.

"Alright. Soon." I gave in. "I'll do it soon."

[peppusae]

How to say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you' | Chae Hyungwon pt 1

part: 1 of 3

other parts:  pt 1 || pt 2 || pt 3

pairing: chae hyungwon x reader

genre: fluff, little slow-burn and angst, smut

word count: 5.6k words

note: i had a dream about this plot so i must write this because after this dream hyungwon became my bias wrecker and i cry about him every day since pls send help gbye

ugh i love him so much :(((

>

How to say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you'

What’s every kpop fan’s goal in life?

To meet their idols, attend a concert, and attend a fan sign, right?

Some others... They aim higher than that.

And you’re one of those people.

In fact, you love k-pop so much that you found your career took a whooping turn and you ended up majoring in language, for the very simple fact that you could apply to join an entertainment company and be a staff/writer, the latter which makes you feel the proudest of yourself.

But life….

Life can be super mean sometimes. And you learn this the hard way, when you get rejected by SM entertainment - your first and actually the only choice because you are a major Shinee fan and life is just NOT fair at all!

One way or the another, after multiple applying, you finally get a good job in another company - Starship Entertainment.

Now, Starship was definitely not one amongst your top 5 agencies. But you always try not to let that affect your work - and over time, you come to love your job.

Especially when you get assigned as Monsta X’s writer and interpreter.

You find the members of the group very very appealing, all of them having their own charms.

Hyunwoo, who goes by the name Shownu and has an appetite that makes everyone giggle; He is such a soft-hearted soul and you really look up to him because he is always kind enough to give you a hand if he finds you doing something like lugging some boxes around, and would give the prettiest eye smiles when he gets a compliment.

Hoseok, who goes by the name Wonho and is probably the person you would sacrifice everything for; because of the heartwarming smile he has to offer, the way he continuously asks you to go through the comments he received on his vlives, and would politely request you to review what fans are saying about him on his posts.

Kihyun, who is very much Korean down to the bone with his extremely polite mannerisms and the way he always makes sure the staff - you included - are always eating as well; even if it’s a show about them. And also, the way he had once asked if he was your bias, and looked shocked to hear he wasn’t - and then continued to do things to get your attention and ask “Am I your bias now?” in the middle, like an idiot.

Jooheon, who also occasionally comes to you and asks for mini English lessons, and then gets bored after learning two or three new words - and then instead likes to chat about random things like the cats he owns, and your line of cacti which he, for some reason, is obsessed with, and your chats with Jooheon usually end with a compliment battle, and he always made you feel proud because he always says that chatting about normal things like that always inspires him a lot too.

Changkyun, who you consider as your bias wrecker because he keeps his own cool, stays in his own bubble and get things done, and doesn’t brag; instead, he’s very gentle, always the first person to notice if you’re sitting out in the lounge by yourself racking your brains for new content, and uses you as a guinea pig for testing out his lame new puns or pickup lines.

And then… Hyungwon, who doesn’t talk a lot when he’s with the rest of the group, but you found to be startlingly talkative when he’s doing a solo vlive or with only a few members like either Shownu or Wonho. In fact, you remember being wide-eyed when he continuously chatted with his fans on a vlive for a whooping 2 hours, and you can’t forget the precious and warm smile he had on his face when you said you liked seeing him so lively and talkative.

“I have a lot of things up my sleeve which you probably don’t know that much about, [Name]-ah.” He had said that time, and sometimes, you can see the way his eyes would filter through the staff during shows and land on yours, and smile at you.

And finally, Minhyuk, who was your absolute favourite out of the entire group, your bias because he gets along so well with everyone, always making everyone - including the staff - laugh, and would not hesitate to call anyone out if they’re doing something they shouldn’t. It makes you giggle, the way he would approach you in the middle of a variety show shooting they’re doing and ask if you were the writer of the show and how you had the audacity to make them walk around like lunatics. He acts like a crackhead like that, but you’ve grown to be so attached to him when you realized that, beyond his bright personality, he also is an insanely sweet person; You found this out when you had mentioned applying to SM entertainment because Shinee was your favorite group ever, and Minhyuk -even if he asked how dare you talk about other men in his presence - met up with Shinee while hosting a show and got the members to sign, and even got Kibum, your Shinee bias, to sign you a message inside their recent album.

Undoubtedly, Minhyuk was your favorite, for a good reason.

But still, to be put frankly, Hyungwon was the member that has your heart, for the simple reason that he was so unpredictable and has his own sense of humour and personality.

Since you got assigned to work with Monsta X, your life has been a messy tangle of fun, a normal day being you having a chat with Hyungwon and then getting interrupted by Minhyuk who would have zero filters and ask “Are you two dating?”, which causes the two of you to flush red for no reason, while Kihyun would overhear this and say “Huh?! You’re picking him to date but you don’t think of me as bias material?”.

The cycle would be endless, with Wonho laughing while watching the entire scene unfold, while Jooheon would join in with Minhyuk while Shownu would butt in and say “Minhyuk-ah, we have to go back to practise now tho,” and Changkyun sticking his head out from his dorm room and saying he still has 5 more minutes to finish the session of his favorite game.

You’ve grown to love this cycle and it doesn’t feel like a job, doing something you love with good people to work with, and life has been even easier after you got a dorm room within the building.

So, even if you had a roommate - and she’s nice, just not too close - things at Starship has been working out well for you.

Your daily chaos started simmering down a little once the pandemic hit, and all of the staff got confined to their rooms for work.

Because some of the shows you’re writing the scripts for are getting approved easily, you feel lucky to be one of the few staff who is now allowed to go alongside the members when they’re out for shows.

The times when you’re working from your dorm room, you feel so tired - perhaps missing the chaos you were so used to for the past couple years.

One day, you get a kakao chat from Hyungwon, asking if he can come over to discuss something with you.

It’s early in the morning - 8:15 am, and you’re half awake but you let him in, trying your hardest not to yawn too much in front of the member you considered the most attractive from the bunch.

Your roommate, Dawon, was kind enough to clean up the room a little bit when you said Hyungwon was coming over - and you said it on purpose because you knew she called Hyungwon her type and admits to having a teensy crush on him even though she knows it won’t work out anyways.

Hyungwon is wearing a caramel sweater and grey baggy sweatpants, and it always warms your heart to see the boys dressed in comfy clothes because they have to spend so much time wearing clothes that probably look good but not feel as comfy.

“Hyungwonnie, come on in!” You greet him, and he reacts with a chuckle and he always does that ever since you started calling him by that nickname after the day he said you should use casual language with him.

Hyungwon gives a little nod to your roommate in acknowledgement, and waits until you draw the curtain separating the room, before he speaks.

“I have a magazine shooting next month, and these are the set of questions they’re gonna ask me.” He says, putting the big envelope he had in his clutches on the top of your desk after he takes his seat. “I need help coming up with answers.”

Hyungwon was usually one of the few members who always comes to use the opportunity; the artists are free to ask the writers for help with answers they’ll give for their interviews, and Hyungwon always makes full use of the opportunity, and Shownu and Wonho occasionally drop by too, as well.

You’re always happy to be asked for help, but today, you find yourself sweat-dropping at the thought. You were so sleepy, the only reason you’re not dozing off is because you had forced yourself not to sit down.

“Why?”

“What?”

“You’re usually always excited when I ask for something like this, so why today?”

Ouch. Sometimes, much like you can read the boy’s faces and know what’s going on, they can sometimes do the same for you, too.

“Well, you see....”

“Have you been getting enough sleep?”

Double ouch. You knew the boys - at least, most of them - were good observers, but you didn’t expect Hyungwon to catch on so easily.

“I actually do get enough sleep, but these days, I feel extra sleepy for an hour or so after I wake up.”

This makes Hyungwon chuckle, putting the papers back inside the envelope and turning back to you.

“Welcome to the life of every human being. You sound like you’ve been babied too much.” He has to say, and you watch the way he gets up from his seat and places the envelope inside one of your drawers.

“Let’s get some breakfast.”

“W-What?!”

This makes the male raise an eyebrow, glancing around the room as if he was unsure if it really was you who said that.

“You’re acting as if we have never gone out for a meal together.”

“Well…” You say, because you’ve actually gone with him a couple of times over the four years you’ve been assigned to them.

That was probably because the boys enjoyed ordering in mostly, and eating at their own free times.

Anyhow, it was only a few times, so it definitely did surprise you.

“Okay. Where do we go?”

“I’m in the mood for some eggs and sausages, do you have anything you want to eat?”

“Hey, we’re gonna split the bill okay!?” You hurry to race Hyungwon outside, who goes out in a very knowing way, one that was like a deja vu of the times when he’d butt in when you’re trying to innocently pay for your delivered lunch tray and he’d ask to tab it over to him.

Kihyun was right, he really was different from the way most Monbebe actually looked up at him.

At the restaurant, Hyungwon takes his mask off only after you two are seated at one of the sectioned booths and have ordered your food.

“The pandemic isn’t good, but this is the only thing that I enjoy about it.” He admits, eyes going over to the lack of people inside the place which would usually be filled to the brim with office workers trying to grab a quick breakfast.

“This pandemic has made me a sleepyhead like you.”

“Hey!”

You find yourself smiling so hard around Hyungwon because during breakfast and after you had forcibly paid for you two, on your way back when he offers to buy you coffee - and even remembers your usual order - and the next two hours he spent with you while you helped him write answers and edit what he wrote, it really does not feel like he’s a celebrity at all; but more so as a close friend who makes you feel warm in ways you’ve never felt before.

“Why?”

You snap out from your little trance and go back to typing your script on the laptop, when he interrupts you.

“Why are you smiling? What kind of madness of a show are you writing now?!”

“Hey! Don’t accuse me of writing madness when your Monbebe loves it so much!”

“Yah, that’s too much! Our Monbebe will love us anyway even if you show them us being normal!”

You giggle, because really. When has Monsta X ever been normal?

---

The next day, right after you wake up, you’re working on the itinerary for Monsta X’s upcoming vacation show - a little too late, you had to admit, and that too, when you’re feeling so desperately sleepy like you’ve been feeling lately every morning.

Dawon had gone out to grab breakfast with some of the other staff, and you’re munching on your melon bread, knowing well that the espresso shot you’ve had just a while ago won’t last you for more than 15 minutes.

And it doesn’t.

In fact, you’re actually snoring when your phone rings loudly, making you lift your sorry face up from your laptop keyboard and answering as soon as you pick up the phone.

“Yes, Manager-nim? I’ll send you the itinerary in fifteen minutes!” You say the impossible, because your task in barely done, and you had a feeling you’d fall back onto the laptop keyboard the second the manager hangs up the call.

The sound of familiar chuckling makes you raise an eyebrow and glance at your phone, horrified to see Hyungwon’s name on the display.

“I need it in ten minutes, not fifteen.” He says in a heavy voice, and it makes you huff in embarrassment, glad that he couldn’t see you.

“Very funny, Hyungwon. What did you need?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to wake you up.”

“I was up!”

This makes him laugh yet again, and you sigh, typing on the keyboard as you think about what good excuse you can say.

“If you were up, you wouldn’t have thought I was your manager.”

You let out a little groan, connecting your headphones to the phone so you could multitask while speaking to the male.

“Really, now, Hyungwonnie, what did you really want? Is there something you wanted to ask again?”

“No, I really just called to wake you up.”

“Well. Isn’t that sweet of you.” You say, sarcastically.

The mini banter and sarcastic comments continue for about ten minutes, by which you’d even finished up the itinerary.

So, even if he did laugh at your sleepyhead behaviour - as if he could talk - you made sure to thank him before you go out to take the printouts and finish off your task.

---

And then, that becomes a ritual.

Hyungwon calls you every day at 8 am, right when you’ve signed in for work and are about to head to get some coffee.

He makes small talk with you, talks about little episodes he’d had, and listens to your ideas.

After the first week, you don’t feel sleepy even if you don’t get the coffee; and you don’t even get sleepy after he hangs up.

Every day, it feels like he’s prepared something new, because he makes you laugh so hard that your sleep completely vanishes.

In fact, after a couple of days, he searches up English songs on Genie Music and sings, butchering up a lot of the lyrics on purpose - you know it’s on purpose because Hyungwon has a really good pronunciation when he tries.

One day, you’re butchering up the lyrics of a song along with Hyungwon while you’re writing talk segments for Monsta X’s comeback showcase. Your roommate has been giving you funny looks recently, especially after she asked who was calling you every day and you couldn’t lie and told her it was Hyungwon.

The sudden sound of your door flying wide open and a blonde Lee Minhyuk barrelling into your room makes you stop your singing.

“Oh. So it was you, huh.” He has to say, making himself comfortable on your beanbag chair, and drawing the cloth partition between your room when Dawon - your roommate - keeps staring.

Really, Minhyuk does not know what filters are supposed to be.

“What do you mean?” You ask, and from your headphone, Hyungwon hears his friend’s voice, so he dismisses the call after saying he’ll see you again later.

“So it was you Hyungwonie has been getting up every morning to sing his heart out, huh?”

You stare at him, baffled. “Well, he does sing some normal songs, but he mostly sings crack-”

“He usually never wakes up on his own even if he has schedules, and now he has an alarm to call you every day? What, are you guys dating or something?”

“Yah, Minhyuk, what are you saying!!” You hiss, horrified, because the cloth partition does little to block out sounds from the other side.

“I always tell people if they like someone, to stop being so obvious and just ask them out. It’s easy!!”

“It’s not easy and omg shut up!! He’s just calling me because he’s waking me up, he’s just being kind!”

“Hyungwon never wakes up for us, he’s never kind to us, then! And he’s always still sleepy even if he wakes you up, because he goes straight back to bed after he wakes you up!”

You sigh out loud in frustration, shaking your head. “Come on. What did you want, Minhyukkie?”

Minhyuk gives you a knowing smile before he shakes his head, handing you the binded notebook he had in his clutches.

“You’ll give me a read-over, right? I told you about the radio-show I’m gonna start hosting in a few weeks, right? The concept is clear, but I have some topics I want to talk about and I made some scripts about how I could continue the talk.”

“You got it. I’ll need some time, though, how does Thursday sound?”

“Perfect. Thanks!” He gives you a flying kiss that makes you laugh, and then he’s out as fast as he came barreling in.

---

You expected Hyungwon to stop the calling after the confining to your room rule gets lifted up and you’ve started to go to the office for work.

But he doesn’t, and he sounds as if he’s never been as prepared before as he is now.

Even when the comeback is near and he must be practising into the late hours of the night, he never misses a single day.

A few days before the comeback, you find him having lunch with Shownu, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him in a while - and you hadn’t seen his new hair till then too.

For the first time in the four years you’ve been assigned to work with Monsta X, you take a good look at Hyungwon.

A really, really good look.

At first, he hadn’t noticed you, and while you’re refilling your water bottle with chilled water, you notice the way he’s smiling a little while he listens to what Shownu is saying. The way he uses his hand to brush the fringe of his hair he’s dyed blonde is attractive for the first time - and you’d always thought he was a really, really handsome young man… But this is the first time he looks so attractive that you feel like you’re in a daze, staring at him until chilled water fills up your bottle and pours on your fingers, finally catching your attention.

What gives?

The little yelp you let out makes both Shownu and Hyungwon glance over at you - noticing you for the first time. Hyungwon’s eyes go wide, the top of his palm going up to cover his mouth.

“Ah, [Name]-ah. How are you?” Shownu calls over to you, ever so naturally, and you greet him with a smile when it looks like he’s motioning for you to come over.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Are you doing well?”

“I’m doing good, Hyunwoo-oppa. You guys must be working super hard for the comeback, right?” You say, glancing at Hyungwon, and for the first time ever, you think he’s actually… blushing ?!

It makes you flustered, thinking about what Minhyuk had talked to you about, while he accused you two of dating. Really, Minhyuk had no filters, it never fails to drive you insane sometimes.

“Yeah! You can expect a lot, please do support us a lot!”

You turn to look at Shownu, beaming at his friendly and charming smile before you excuse yourself and head back before you felt your head would explode.

Now, what the heck was that all about!?

Whatever it was, you were definitely going to blame Minhyuk for this!

---

It absolutely surprises you when Hyungwon doesn’t fail to call you, even the following morning.

You guess you had just imagined it in your head yesterday when Hyungwon looked flustered to see you.

Stupid Minhyuk! It was all in your head after all.

“Now that today’s dumb song segment is over,” Hyungwon says, after he sings a butchered up version of Pretty Please, “I’m gonna sing a song from our album!”

“Oh? Will that be okay?”

“Well, you’ll hear the album preview later today, so, why not?” He has to say. “It’s one of my favorites from the album.”

And then, he sings up to the second chorus of Beautiful Night - a song you fall in love with instantly, because the lyrics are so beautiful and Hyungwon sings as if he’s doing so with his whole soul. It almost makes your eyes teary, and you can barely tell him that you love it, before you have to excuse yourself with a little lie.

Since when did Hyungwon’s voice sound this emotional? It’s been over four years, but his voice has always been the same, beautiful voice as before. You open up Genie music, playing some of the older albums, listening to Hyungwon’s voice in the songs, and you feel like you’ve missed out this side of Hyungwon completely, this madly romantic side of him that sounds so sincere that it makes your heart race.

What is going on, seriously…

---

As the days pass by, the little tingle in your heart whenever you see or hear Hyungwon keeps on getting more and more painful.

In fact, by the end of Monsta X’s three-week promotions for Fantasia X, hearing Hyungwon singing songs for you become almost unbearably sad.

Despite having to wake up earlier, or even having to excuse himself in the middle of getting his hair and makeup done, he makes sure to call you - even if you’re sitting and listening to him when he’s in the same room as you are in.

You realize you can’t hold out your expressions if it’s in front of him, so you make sure to get up and go away somewhere when Hyungwon’s call arrives every day at 8 am on the dot.

It’s a warm Saturday morning, and you’re on your bed, your earpods on and listening to Fantasia X on Genie when Hyungwon’s call of the day arrives.

Today, it’s different.

Usually, he sings a trot song, or a really ugly version of an English song with the hopes of making you laugh so much that your sleep completely vanishes.

But today, he doesn’t say anything and immediately starts to sing soulfully; today, he sings Newton, one of your absolute favorite songs by the group, and…

The way he sings it is so, so sad .

Something inside your heart feels like it is burning, and unknowingly, your eyes brim with tears, because…

All the things Minhyuk had told you, all the things you’ve been thinking about Hyungwon lately, all the little glances he sends your way and then looks away when he sees you’re watching…

You feel your emotions going haywire, and your wishful thinking makes you start crying and you pray to god that Hyungwon, who’s singing the chorus so beautiful and sincerely does not notice.

It’s almost unbearable, and you take off your earpods and have him on speaker, thankful that he doesn’t notice you’ve reached for tissues to wipe your tears.

Since when did I start feeling this way about him?

How can I think this way about one of the members I work for?

Why does Hyungwon sing as if he’s singing just for me, and only me?

Why does it feel like we are never able to meet eyes now?

You have so many questions and no answers, and your hands are shaking as you try to press record on your phone because he sounds so, so beautiful and your crying is not helping you in focusing on his sincere singing.

It is at this moment that the door to your room flies open, and your roommate, Dawon enter the room, then freezes when she sees you crying.

“What’s going on?!”

You’re only able to hand over the phone to her, and mumble a little “Please record it for me” through your sobs.

Dawon looks very confused, raising an eyebrow when she looks at the receiver and sees that it is Hyungwon, on the call.

At that moment, Hyungwon wraps up his singing, clearing his throat a little and speaks for the first time today.

“[Name]-ah.”

You find yourself sniffling, glancing at Dawon who looks visibly upset now… and you can’t even blame her…

“[Name]-ah.” He calls your name again, and this is one of the things that makes you sad in regards to Hyungwon, because… He is a member of Monsta X, one of the manlier groups in the industry for sure, but… He’s so gentle and sweet, a kind-hearted soul, and he does not lack in anything, as he has proudly claimed so.

Even the way he calls your name out is so gentle that it makes more tears stream down your face, and you’re almost scared at how to answer whatever Hyungwon would ask from you.

“[Name]-ah. I have something I have to tell you, in person.”

Your eyes meet with Dawon, who now looks wide-eyed, and you were sure you would probably look the same.

“I… I have to tell you this in person, so, if you… If you’re willing, would you like to… go for dinner with me today?”

More tears stream down your face, and now you know you can never look Dawon in the eyes either so you bury your face on one of your pillows, heart aching too much to do anything else.

“Hyungwon-ssi.”

Dawon speaks into the speakerphone, and it makes you glance at her, wondering what she was going to say.

Hyungwon replies with a loud ‘Huh?’ in confusion.

“Hyungwon-ssi, I’m sorry, but [Name] is outside and she left her phone here.”

Dawon looks at you, lips pressed into a thin line. You feel so uneasy, and it felt like Hyungwon felt the same, because he starts to stammer.

“Wh-Wha? What?! If [Name] wasn’t the one who answered, then wh- Whaaaaa!” You hear a loud whine before the call gets disconnected with a quick mumble of “Sorry!”.

Dawon hurls the phone at your bed, and leaves the room without a word, and it pains your heart so much that you feel like you’ll die.

A text message pops up on your phone a little while later and seeing the text makes you feel a little dizzy, even.

‘If you’re freely going to allow other people to roam through your phone even, I don’t think I have any other choice but to come to see you right away.’

What?

Wait, does he mean-

You hurry to grab your phone and iPad, wiping your face as best as you could and going out of your room. You find Minhyuk and Kihyun using the Xbox in the lounge, so you quietly take a seat near them, greeting them and opening up your iPad without another word.

“[Name]-ah, why do you look so weird?”

“Yah, Minhyuk, how can you say something so rude?!”

You shake your head and give a weak smile at the two, opening up your notepad and leaning against the couch.

A moment passes by, and Minhyuk moves closer to you on the couch, so close that you actually move a little back as well.

“What?”

“I finished my game with Kihyunnie. So. Why? Why do you look so sad? Did Hyungwonie hurt you?”

Now, you’ve been doing a good job of not crying since you got out of the room, but seeing Minhyuk’s worried face and then remembering Hyungwon’s words - along with Minhyuk hitting a bullseye right away… All of that combine together and it makes you start to cry again.

“Wha? Hey?!” Minhyuk looks very startled, and he usually never looks surprised like he doesn’t know what to do, but today he looks like he’s at a dead end, and you allow him to grab your hand and tell Kihyun he’ll be right back, before he hurries to drag you over to the other end of the lounge near the vending machines.

“Yah, what is going on with you lately? Hyungwon really said something mean to you, didn’t he? Sheesh. Acting like he’s in love with you and then making you cry like this? I didn’t expect him out of everyone to behave this way.”

The more Minhyuk spoke, the worse you felt, and you’re barely able to ask him if he could be kind enough to leave you alone for a second when you hear a familiar voice calling your name.

“[Name]-ah…. Minhyuk-ah?!”

You and Minhyuk glance up to see Hyungwon approaching you, and you hurry to take your hand away from Minhyuk’s clutch.

Really, Hyungwon couldn’t have caught a worse timing.

Minhyuk shoots you a sad look, then gets up from his seat, goes to say something to Kihyun, then the two of them leave while Kihyun glances at you with a worried look on his face. You can’t get yourself to look at Hyungwon, so you’re looking at your hands, fingers fumbling while Hyungwon stands in his spot in front of you, not saying a single word.

More tears fall down your face when you remember Minhyuk’s words - and how wrong was he to assume the worst from the sweetest person you know, and it pains your heart because you knew if you looked in his eyes, you wouldn’t be able to stop crying.

“Why?”

Hyungwon says a single word, and honestly, that was the only thing you didn’t have an answer for.

Why were you crying?

You didn’t know.

Why can’t you look at Hyungwon?

You had no clue.

Why did Minhyuk know right away?

That too, you didn’t know at all.

Why can’t you answer him?

You had no reason.

So instead, you find tears streaming down your face, and you wish you could leave, but you felt like you owed Hyungwon at least this much, to hear what he had to say even if you felt like something was cutting through your heart.

“Stand up.”

It’s the first time you’ve heard him ask you to do something in that voice, an angry, impatient voice you’ve never imagined you’d ever be on the receiving end for.

“[Name]-ah.”

You hum in response, eyes on the ground. Hyungwon lets out an exhale and you can feel your hands trembling because it’s while you’re looking at his shoes with an aching heart, that you realize something you’ve been wishing so hard was not true.

You were in love with Chae Hyungwon.

Out of completely nowhere, so naturally.... You were so madly in love with Chae Hyungwon; so much that looking at him now would be too much to take, now.

“You heard everything I said, didn’t you?”

Now, that’s something you didn’t expect to hear from him. He had sounded so worried and embarrassed on the phone so you didn’t think he would have any suspicious, but here he was, showing you that he certainly did.

It makes you look up at his face for the first time today, and it pains your heart.

It paints your heart, because he’s wearing clothes with a lot of creases - something he’s been wearing to sleep, and he has on a beanie that covers most of his messy-looking hair, and he’s looking at you with puffy eyes and a frown that hurts so much to look at.

You couldn’t bear to look at him anymore so you shake your head in response. Hyungwon looks visibly disappointed, like he knew right away that you were lying. You think he has something more he wants to say, because his lips part a little… And then, he lets out a sigh and shakes his head as well.

“If you are this burdened by how I feel, then…” Hyungwon’s voice trails off, taking a step back and then turning around. You watch the way he walks out of the lounge without a word, and if you felt like you’d never been more hurt before, you were completely wrong, because nothing pained your heart more than watching the male leave like that, as if he had so much to say and couldn’t…. Just like how you felt while you sink back on the couch and cry your heart out.

And from that day onwards, Hyungwon doesn’t call you again.

-----

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket SE2, ep13

Back in SE01, ep12, Yuki wished for a warm home, close friends, & knowing/accepting himself. From that ep, we’re watching him reach his dream bit by bit in every passing ep.

-Writing Character plot line:

When writers start planning a multi-character story, they decide from the beginning the broad plot lines & progression for each main character in order to avoid repetition & to distinguish the main characters’ journeys from each other. All main characters will walk down the path of self-discovery, self-confrontation,  facing fears or traumas (opening the lid). However, their paths are either straight forward, or very slow, or full of big setbacks. It’s part of what makes the story compelling. I suspect the following progression when it comes to the main trio:

(1)Tohru’s very Slow Progression:

Seeing that half SE02 passed with very minimum spotlight on her issues, her progression can be very fulfilling once her arc kicks in. Also, tohru’s story is tied with kyo’s via kyoko’s fate. She is also tied with Akito. As tohru is the female protagonist, Akito is the antagonist, their issues/traumas should mirror or contradict each other, & we can see that both characters aren’t fully explored yet. So, there’s still a lot to uncover for tohru. Moreover, due to the plot’s needs & climax rules, tohru must develop very slowly.  I love slow burns so much!! but they can either be hit or mess. The result depends on how executed the progression is. Everybody keeps assuring me it’s worth it & I can’t wait!

(2) Kyo’s will be the Full of Setbacks Progression:

We already saw that in ep 9. He found hope & realized his love for tohru, admitted that he met good ppl who genuinely loved him (all positive progression). He, also, realized his pain over his mother’s suicide, suffered guilt over not helping his mom get over her depression, realized his failure in not keeping kyoko’s promise (whatever it is), guilty over watching/causing kyoko’s death, accepts punishment via confinement to atone for what he believes are his sins (negative progression). The best part abt kyo’s journey is that the negative progression is totally understandable & realistic. Not there for cheap thrills or simply the writer’s wish to present a different story than yuki’s. It is logical & engaging as well. His progression is also tied with tohru via kyoko, so he might take the backseat for a while until tohru reaches the point where he’s forced to come clean & confess abt kyoko (aka the climax). 

(3) Yuki’s Positive Direct Progression:  *i put yuki last so I can easily move on to talk abt student council.

By “direct” I’m not saying that his path is easy, I’m saying while he’ll struggle for sure, he’ll always choose/do right or get help/push in the right time to do right. He’ll win each setback. He’ll be the most perceptive, learn from others around him. I also believe (I could be wrong) that yuki is free from the restrictions of the plot. His story is related to other characters but not tied to them. Meaning his development isn’t restricted until others reach a certain point in the plot. This makes for good direct character development arc which I believe is the writer’s intention.

-Yuki’s arc will consist of three general steps (as he wished in Se01,ep12): Finding true self, Finding best friends, Finding romance. We already saw him opening the lid, realizing his abuser isn’t controlling him, accepting tohru’s help, realizing his big dependency on her which is a huge self-awareness point cuz this ep shows yuki moving away little by little from tohru & finding his own friends/world. Finding true self will take over all his arc, we’ll see more each ep. Finding friends has happened this ep. Finding romance is the last step. Yuki will have his own version of everything he was/is jealous of kyo for. He already got his own yun-yun.

-The student council: Kakure & Machi are the main characters. You don’t introduce a boy & a girl at the end of SE01 & the opening of SE02 without them being major characters. It’s classic anime/show move. Kakure will be Yuki’s best buddy, Machi will be his love-interest. It’s as clear as day light! but this doesn’t make it less interesting at all. It’s all abt the journey. The other two in the council, i guess only exist to push things faster. Without kimi, yuki calling machi by her first name would’ve taken way longer. But thanks to Kimi, Machi is the only non-sohma/important female character with her first name in yuki’s world. One step towards putting Machi as yuki’s love-interest by making her equal to yuki. Remember yuki is still struggling to call tohru by her first name as he feels indebted to her & extremely dependent. But Machi is just Machi. Not Miss kuragi. Kimi did her job. Duno abt the chibi kid tho, lol.

-Yuki’s jealousy/self-depreciating feelings:

I love when characters have negative thoughts! cuz it makes good story telling. Yuki has expressed before how jealous he is of kyo (kyo is jealous of yuki as well, but these two don’t know that abt each other). Now, yuki jealous of kakure, someone he doesn’t have a past with. Moreover, yuki isn’t only jealous of them, he believes that them having a spotlight means he’s in the dark. “he glows with light I don’t posses, so bright, I’ll disappear”. That’s a negative & destructive thought. logically, Kakure/kyo having friends isn’t related to yuki not having ones. He can have friends regardless of them. But yuki doesn’t see that, he doesn’t see his ability to make his own friends, his head is filled with inferiority that seeing others glow automatically means he doesn’t. Yuki learning to not tie his self worth to others is huge step. Kakure does that. Yuki learned.

However there is a lesson here that yuki lectured kakure abt but he himself is yet to fully learn/realize. Seeing others happy, doesn’t mean they’re truly happy or you know what they’re going through. Kyo looked like the winner here to both kakure & yuki, walking home with the girl they’re both interested in & they both assume he’s happy. (kakure seems somehow interested in her/not even going home & waiting for yuki to confirm tohru’s status with kyo). The reality is far from what kakure thinks. Kyo isn’t happily in love at all. He’s facing confinement & is feeling guilt every minute. Yuki thinks kyo is better than him & that kyo’s struggles in loving/dating tohru are unbelievable/stupid. Not knowing the story of kyoko’s chilling words “I won’t forgive you”. Kyo, too, is guilty of the same sentiment, thinks yuki is better than him, not knowing the struggle he has. The lesson here is everybody struggles. Don’t take things at face value & undermine others’ pain. But that is a lesson to be learned way later.  After all learning that means understanding the other better. It means the story ends. XD

Side Notes:

seeing kimi’s design made me sad. How come furuba team never gave tohru cute upper eyelashes! sometimes tohru’s eyes seem weirdly eyelashes-less.

Kyo is kyonkyon. Yuki is yunyun. What is tohru’s nickname?

I love predicting plot & being either right or wrong! So fun!! I enjoy all the journeys all characters go through!

Machi has a story. All stoic silent characters do.

Comedy take over 70% of this ep. It’s understandable as the writer needs viewers to quickly get attached to these new characters introduced late in the story.

[thelallybrochlibrary]

FEATURE FRIDAY: AUTHOR EDITION

This week The Lallybroch Library is featuring our friend from @imagineclaireandjamie​- @lenny9987​! 

Lenny has been her internet name for so long now that she also answers to it in real life! Lenny found a gif-set from S1A (Season 1- the first few set of episodes) that came across her dash in the fall of 2014. She then learned that it was a series of books so she read all 8 books in the series. Then she caught up of S1A, and fully caught up right before S2B premiered! 

As for writing Outlander Fanfiction, Lenny says that @gotham-ruaidh​ got her to write her first little ficlet back in October of 2015 She says that she sticks pretty exclusively to writing Outlander fanfic.

Lenny’s favorite character to write in terms of dialogue is Jenny because she loves coming up with the quips for her. In terms of story and story, she loves anything with Jamie and William Ransom. She says, “One of my favorite fics I’ve ever written (and hope to revisit some day) is Mac Ruaidh where Jamie gets to raise William as his own and William grows up conflating Jamie’s stories about Claire with what little he knows of his mother.”

As for her least favorite character, Lenny dislikes writing Black Jack Randall. She says that finds him pretty flat/one dimensional in the canon and she cannot write a version where he’s anything more than that!

Lenny’s favorite pieces that she has written: Shorter, multi-chapters would be a tie between Collision Course and Mac Ruaidh.  For her longer multi-chapter she says it’s The Nature of Choice. because she has a solid idea when and how the story is going to end!

Her favorite Outlander quote:

“They kind of used something similar to my favorite Echo quote in the last few episodes but it's the scene after Jamie visits Laoghaire and has it out with her one final time, then returns to Claire at Lallybroch and asks if she'd ever doubted he needed her and she doesn't realize just how serious/emotional he is and: “No,” I replied promptly. “To the best of my knowledge, you needed me urgently the moment I saw you. And I haven’t had reason to think you’ve got any more self-sufficient since."

As for the inspiration for her stories, Lenny says she pretty much always writes canon divergent AUs. This can be from either the show or the original canon, but it’s more likely to come from the books. Thus, most of her fics usually start out with a “What If?” that she can’t seem to get out of her head.

Lenny’s writing habits include:

“I try to write a little every day (though it hasn't been fanfic as much lately). If I'm on my computer, I try to make myself write at least 250 words of a fic and then give myself a break to watch 10 minutes of a movie/show or read a chapter of a book or something. That gets me through writer's block/tough parts pretty well. If I get going/into the flow, I end up forgetting to check the word count and then get super happy that I wrote so much in one sitting.”

And her tips for new writers:

“Focus on smaller pieces if you get overwhelmed. Just a paragraph and then you can take a break or just the next 100 words. Don't kill yourself trying to force something too daunting. Break it into smaller chunks. Enjoy the rabbit holes you stumble upon while researching (my favorite thing I inadvertently learned was that the original concept for the board game Clue included a shillelagh as one of the weapons).”

Lenny’s favorite fanfic trope is a slow burn with angst, but beyond that  she doesn’t read a whole lot of fanfic! She intends to and leaves them open on her computer, but then it usually forces an update she loses track of the tabs. (Sigh we feel that because don’t we all!)

Lenny’s favorite book in the series is Voyager. She says she likes it because of all the emotional work that goes into creating their reunion and making their relationship work for the people they have become. She also loves their struggle to create lives for themselves outside of each other during the time they spent apart. She feels like they fell so hard and so quickly for one another  and also w ent through so much in their short time together that they lost a bit of themselves in the process. Voyager was probably a healthy way  for them to reestablish it all for themselves- it’s what makes their fitting back together difficult and awkward, but we can all see it pay off in the later books!

Catch Lenny on her own blog, @imagineclaireandjamie​, or on AO3!

Lenny’s Masterlist | Lenny’s Imagine Masterlist | Lenny’s AO3

Stay tuned next week for another Author’s feature! 

[puppy-prose]

Hey there! I saw that you were taking requests and I thought I'd drop you a line. I'm obsessed with Geralt/Jaskier right now, so anything that you write would be amazing. Two prompts that I have in mind are 1) College!AU where Jaskier and Geralt are sharing a room in student accommodation. Jaskier has the hots for Geralt (obvs) and thinks he's being sneaky having a wank at night but Geralt totally knows ;) also 2) Geralt as a werewolf. I dig your kinks list, so if either of those take your fancy

I'd love to read what you come up with. The smuttier, the better imo! warnings // mild rape fantasy, spit as lube, light/unintentional voyeurism

It wasn’t fair, Jaskier decided, that somehow, he’d ended up with one of the sexiest men in the whole college as his dormmate. 

Geralt had everything. The muscles, the brains, the kindness. He was mysterious and gruff, but welcoming and warm once one got to know him. He got straight A’s, looked like he belonged to a motor gang, and was an incredibly considerate roommate--a fact that Jaskier had to not only get used to, but also absorb some himself, if only to show Geralt that he was worth sticking around with and not ask for a transfer. 

After all, being in the same dorm meant that he got to see Geralt in many stages. He got to see him sweaty and tired after coming back from the gym; he got to see him damp from the shower, his unfairly gorgeous white hair still dripping down the lines of his neck despite Geralt’s attempts at getting them decently dry. He got to see Geralt wolf down food when he missed a meal for some reason or another--got to watch him as he did the dishes every time he cooked like some god of roommate-ing or something--got to be there when Geralt was sleepy and yawning, his unfairly sharp canine teeth on display, his warm eyes soft, his entire body screaming vulnerability. Hell, sometimes Jaskier even got to touch, combing out his hair when Geralt had had enough of it, patching him up when he inevitably got in another fight trying to protect someone or another. 

So, yeah. Jaskier had maybe-kind-of-really fallen head over heels for Geralt. So what? No big deal. He’d had crushes before; he’d pined and whined and sought out love where it wasn’t reciprocated. But gods. He’d never had to spend night after night, sleeping in the same room as that crush, their beds on opposite walls, so fucking close. He’d never had to go through the inevitable stage of jacking off to that crush nearly every night knowing that that person was right there and, in Geralt’s case, had really kind of freaky super-hearing. 

Didn’t stop him from doing it anyway, though.

Turned on his side, facing the wall away from Geralt, Jaskier let his hands slide slowly under his blankets. It was easy to get his pajama pants down, pushing them to his knees, his cock already half-hard just from the sight he’d been treated to just before they’d turned the lights out--Geralt, grunting and huffing as he stretched out his shoulders and back from a long workout session, shirtless, his muscles rippling, tensing, loosening… Jaskier shoved his bottom lip between his teeth as he conjured the memory up with ease, eyes fluttering shut as he imagined it. 

Those muscles would look so good above him. Geralt, flexing and strong, bearing him down into the mattress. Gods, Geralt could take whatever he wanted, he realized, and the thought made his cock twitch in his hand, plumping up more. So it was going to be one of those fantasies tonight, he supposed.

Sliding his hand back up, he reached below his pillow. Thankfully, Geralt was also considerate enough to generally leave Jaskier’s things alone, unless they were directly in his way. Which meant he had no idea about the bottle of lube that practically lived somewhere in his bed at all times, in case he brought someone home--or in case something like this happened. He pulled it out and uncorked it, trying to muffle the pop of the cap as quietly as he could in his side, before dribbling some onto his palm. Again, he used his body to muffle the noise as he closed the lid and left it beside him, hand returning to his cock once again. 

Yeah, he thought. Geralt was so fucking strong. It wouldn’t take much at all for him to pin Jaskier down. He could drag an arm behind his back, hold it there, keep him pressed into the bed. His fingers, perhaps wet by his own spit, Geralt having shoved them into his mouth to keep him quiet, keep him from raising any alarm, would slide between his legs, push against his hole. It’d be humiliating, his own roommate opening him up, none too gentle about it, spreading him--and gods, Jaskier knows he’d be moaning by then, hope of fleeing gone, desire to flee gone. Maybe Geralt would make fun of him for it, too.

Choking down a whine, Jaskier shifted in the bed. He turned onto his back, spreading his legs open as much as he could, trousers kicked down to his ankles. His hand fell from his cock, down past it, sliding between the cheeks of his own ass until he could press one, then two slick fingers inside. It burned a little; he really should have added more lube. But that slight pain was perfect for the way his thoughts were going. 

Keeping his eyes closed, he let his mind return. Imagining a weight on his chest, pretending the bed at his back was Geralt bearing down on him and the heavy blankets atop him was the bed he was being shoved into--it was very hard to open himself on his stomach while remaining lying down to avoid Geralt’s detection, he’d found--he pushed his free hand under his body, pinning it behind his back. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best he could do.

“Fucking slut,” he imagined Geralt would say, scissoring inside of him, his own fingers mimicking the fantasy. “Can’t wait for me to take you, can you? You’re already wet for me, like a bitch in heat.”  

Geralt, surely, was too nice to actually say any of that. Jaskier wanted, though. He wanted so fucking badly. That gravelly voice, the uncaring drawl he’d have, just like all the times he’d warned off assholes on their nights out at pubs or wherever, just before punches would start flying. Only with him, Geralt would push in a third finger, make him take the intrusion whether he was ready or not, and--

“G-Ger…”

Jaskier twisted his hand free from behind his back, shoving it flat against his own mouth. Fuck. He shook from the strain, his cock brushing against the blankets above him, and he wanted nothing more than to rock up into them--but he stayed still, very very still, listening as Geralt gave a soft sigh from the other side of the room, readjusted himself, and settled back down. 

He controlled his breathing as best he could for a few more minutes, wanting to make sure. If Geralt found out about this… Jaskier wouldn’t be surprised if he was tossed out on his ass, perhaps with a report to the RA, or even the Dean of the school. No, he had to be very, very careful about this. Even if he didn’t want to be.

But nothing happened during those minutes. So carefully, cautiously, Jaskier started to move his fingers again. He’d gotten up to three, just like his fantasy, before having to stop. The minutes had taken some of the burn away, though, and he had to stretch them out, fingers pulling apart to get it back, his eyes rolling up into his head at the sheer pleasure that sparked through him. It felt so fucking good, and while they weren’t Geralt’s fingers, it didn’t take away the heat that coursed through him, heady and strong. 

He kept them stretched, kept them wide apart as he imagined Geralt pulling his own fingers back out. Maybe Geralt would finally use the lube on his cock--or maybe, maybe, he'd make Jaskier choke on it instead, get it wet and slick from his own spit. And gods, that was a thought, and before he knew it, he had his own fingers in his mouth, hole fluttering around the new emptiness, his breathing hard, nearly panting around the digits pressing wide and deep into his mouth. It was a messy business; thank goodness tomorrow was his laundry day. But it was too good to stop, and he was shivering with want, hips giving tiny twitches against the blankets when he finally withdrew his fingers. 

“See?” Geralt would say. “Such a cockslut. Getting off on sucking my dick. Bet you could come like that, couldn’t you? I could force my cock down into your throat, make you gag on it, and you’d take it just as well as if I were fucking you.”  

Another little whimper escaped him, but Jaskier was, decidedly, a little too far gone to care. He pushed his fingers back inside of himself, not bothering to take it slow, his back arching a few degrees off the bed in reaction. He had to shove his hand over his mouth again to keep his sounds in, to keep from begging and keening like he wanted to, caught up in the fantasy, in the thought of Geralt fucking into him, making him take every inch, making him raw and aching and sore, filling him to the fucking brim--

There was a whisper of sound, a brush of air, just enough to get Jaskier’s attention, and when he opened his eyes-- oh fuck.  

A dark face stood over him, silver strands of hair framing him. Geralt. Geralt. Oh, fucking shit.  

Jaskier pulled his fingers out of himself, the obscenely wet sound of it suddenly loud in the silent dorm, the blankets on him too hot, his mind blanking for something to say. “Ger--Geralt!” he squeaked, dropping his hand from his mouth, his pupils still blown wide, his cock still hard and full beneath the very meager protection of the sheets. “This--this isn’t--it’s not what it, uh, what it looks like, I’m just--”

“Having a wank with my name in your mouth?” Geralt rumbled back at him, his brow raised. Jaskier withered, his lips pressing together. He’d really cocked this one up, hadn’t he? Shit. How was he going to make this up? Would he even be given the chance to try to fix it?

“I’m--look I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, let me just--”

A hand fitted over his mouth--but this time, it wasn’t Jaskier’s own. No, it was Geralt’s, his callouses rough on his soft lips, shutting him up. He swallowed hard, nearly audible, not sure what Geralt was going to do. 

“You really should be more quiet,” Geralt told him. Then, to Jaskier’s surprise, the hand turned, and-- fuck. Geralt pushed two fingers against his lips, making them part, pressing in and sliding the pads of the digits against his tongue, pushing it down. “Every night, Jaskier. Every night for the past week. So stupidly loud. You really thought I wouldn’t notice?” He bent down, then, breaking the distance between them. Jaskier whimpered, not trying to close his mouth, nearly cross eyed in an attempt to see Geralt clearly. “You really think I wouldn’t want to fuck you if you asked?”

Oh. Oh.  

Geralt must have seen the realization in his eyes. A smirk pulled up his lips; the next moment, Geralt snagged the blankets from the bed, throwing them unceremoniously to the floor. He pulled his fingers from his mouth, only to wipe them on Jaskier’s cheek, spreading his own spit. Jaskier whined. “Geralt, I--”

“Shush,” the other man said. He got up on the bed with him, pulling Jaskier’s legs around him, letting him dig his heels into the small of his back. Jaskier realized, with a thrill, that Geralt had gotten rid of his own trousers on the way over. His head threw back as their cocks pressed together, Geralt rutting down onto him mercilessly. “You don’t want everyone to hear, do you?” His hands found Jaskier’s wrists; pulling them up, he pinned them above his head with one hand, those incredible muscles flexing, the slats of moonlight through the window throwing each one into sharp relief. Jaskier opened and closed his hands, but didn’t fight back--didn’t want to. 

Geralt’s free hand wrapped around them both. He gave a choked sob, doing his best to bite down on it, keep it in. He was spared, though, by Geralt bending and kissing him. It was a brutal thing. Tongue and teeth and force, Geralt opened him up, licked his way inside his mouth. It was so much--too much--and his lips were swollen and red when Geralt pulled back to instead start sucking on his throat, teeth gnawing bruises to the surface, tongue soothing the sting of them. They were high, too, a few just below his jaw; there was no way he’d be able to hide these marks. Geralt was making it very clear that Jaskier was owned. That Jaskier was his. And fuck, that had the power to turn him into a writhing mess, only keeping from babbling because Geralt had commanded him to be quiet. 

Geralt’s hand moved from their cocks, then. He slid it down to his entrance, pushing two fingers inside—then grunting with surprise before adding a third, resistance appearing only at that point. “Fuck,” he growled, biting down on the crook of Jaskier’s neck and shoulder, making his entire body feel like it was turning to mush. “Thought you’d only gotten to two fingers. But you were really fucking yourself, weren’t you? No wonder you were moaning so loud.” Unwittingly, he mimicked Jaskier from only minutes before; he spread his fingers, forcing them wide open. This time, though, Jaskier couldn’t stop the desperate cry the fell from his lips, hips jerking, tears springing to his eyes from the delicious burn, the wonderful stretch. 

He kept pushing, kept opening Jaskier until he was practically sobbing, his thighs trembling against the sides of Geralt’s hips. Finally, though, he seemed to take mercy on him. 

He withdrew his fingers, instead grabbing Jaskier’s hands and pressing them to either side of his head, holding him down. With Jaskier’s legs around him, it was easy to rock their hips together, his cock sliding obscenely in the crevice of his ass, snagging on the rim of his entrance with each push upwards. “I’m gonna fuck you, Jask,” he growled to the man below him, who simply nodded frantically, eager. “Gonna make you scream.”  

“Please,” Jaskier agreed frantically, nodding, flushed red and unable to hold still, twitching and shivering underneath Geralt. “Please, please, I want you to! Please, fuck me!”

Geralt’s chuckle was low, dark. He nipped Jaskier’s lower lip, carefully lined himself up—and slammed in. 

His promise came true. Jaskier howled, his back arching, his heels dragging Geralt in closer. He made for a beautiful sight, utterly wrecked from just the first thrust, and Geralt was more than happy to make sure he had his fill. He didn’t hold back, either. Jaskier was already stretched. So Geralt set a brutal, punishing pace. 

The slap of their bodies was obscene in the room, Jaskier’s cries of Geralt’s name both embarrassing and a relief to finally be able to say without repercussions. Geralt kept his hands pinned—again, no doubt bruises would be his friend come tomorrow, and Jaskier couldn’t be more excited—as he kept pounding into him, pushing him into the mattress, the bed frame creaking with the force of it all. 

Geralt kissed him again, rough, taking what he wanted. He seemed to speed up; Jaskier could do nothing but take it, delirious with pleasure, the pressure in the low of his hips building and building. 

Then, Geralt bit down on his throat, just below his ear. “Come for me,” he commanded, gravelly and dark and powerful—so much better than how Jaskier had imagined it. And so much more effective. A few thrusts later and Jaskier practically screamed, his body going taut as he came, painting between them white with his release, cock twitching until he was empty. But Geralt—Geralt kept going. 

It dragged pained whimpers from him, the overstimulation too much, too soon. “I’ve got you,” Geralt told him, soothing him, settling him into accepting it. “Fuck, Jask. I’ve got you. Gonna fill you up. Make you take every last drop of my cum.” 

Head thrown back, at Geralt’s mercy, Jaskier could do nothing but let him fuck into him, trembling through every inch. But finally— finally Geralt came. He snarled with it, his teeth snapping into Jaskier’s shoulder, holding him down as he pumped him full of his seed. He rocked into him, slower, shallower, as if trying to push his cum further into Jaskier, only stopping when he was growing soft inside him. 

With care, Geralt pulled out. He shushed the tired whine that fell from Jaskier’s lips, turning him on his side and sidling up behind him. Jaskier floated pleasantly, sated and wrecked, utterly fucked out. Gods, his fantasies had never come close. Double gods— his fantasies might actually become a reality, now. Holy shit.

“Next time,” Geralt said, hooking a leg over top of his, keeping him tucked in close. “Just wake me up when you get horny.”

Oh, Jaskier thought. Hopefully Geralt didn’t mind missing a lot of sleep.