#AND AND him attributing it to his parents dynamic. damn. damn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

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Dick has said it out loud explicitly, to Damian, that the mantle of Robin was his to pass on. Why do people still feel entitled to talk over him?

IMO? For the exact same reasons that people harp on so much about it being a retcon that Robin was Dick’s mother’s nickname for him and that originally he based the name on Robin Hood. To be perfectly honest that doesn’t make a damn bit of difference in regards to the fact that either way the point is still that Dick created Robin and it wouldn’t exist without him.....but the constant attempts to minimize its emotional significance to Dick and any kind of special attachment to it that he has and that the others can’t claim to share....

IMO these are just attempts to distance Dick from the mantle and make him seem less relevant or important to its very existence....freeing up people to focus on the importance of Robin as a symbol and a mantle to everyone else but without having to attribute any special credit or significance or respect to Dick as the originator of the mantle and the character that the other Robins are literally the legacy characters of.

It’s pretty annoying and very shortsighted IMO as actually, emphasizing the connection Robin has to Dick’s first family just enhances the weight and poignancy of Dick ultimately giving each of the other Robins his blessing when he didn’t have to and thus literally choosing them as his new family even without having to rely solely on a connection to each other via Bruce.

Of course people don’t seem to really want to do that either....given how rarely Dick’s blessing even gets acknowledged amid all the angst about who replaced who and who was fired and who wasn’t. It’s kinda ironic...I know so many fans HATE the version where Bruce fires Dick and so whatever they can not to acknowledge it and dismiss it as a retcon....and the ironic thing is? I get it. I totally see why it’s not something they want to run with and to be quite honest I can take it or leave it myself. I like exploring versions of events where Dick was fired, I like exploring ones where he wasn’t. Both have room for digging and delving imo.

My only beef with people who are soooo loud and quick to always dismiss the firing as just a retcon that doesn’t count.....is that in the pre Crisis version of events where Dick voluntarily gave up Robin and decided it was time to move onto a new identity....he gave Robin to Jason himself. The significance of that version of events isn’t JUST that it was Dick’s own choice to move to a new identity and that there was no conflict between him and Bruce about it...it was equally of significance that the Robin mantle was still viewed as inherently his, made by him, and his and his alone to pass on to a successor.

There is no version where Dick gave it up voluntarily but had no role in choosing Jason. The very premise of that mix and match honestly makes no sense because why make such a fuss about Bruce not having overstepped and fired Dick when it was never his place to say what he could claim as his identity or mantle on his OWN (fire him as his partner, sure that was always Bruce’s right, but tell Dick he couldn’t be the hero persona he created for himself? Fuck off Bruce LOL).

But my point is that mix and match makes no real sense because why preserve Bruce’s character from stepping between Dick and the mantle he created to honor his first parents....only to then turn right around and have Bruce still treat it as a Wayne family hand me down that Dick had outgrown when it was only EVER a Grayson family hand me down whose only connection to the Wayne family was through Dick being a member of both families and a bridge connecting them?

Whether Bruce fires Dick as Robin and gives it to Jason or JUST gives it to Jason without Dick making that choice....the one isn’t any better than the other because in both cases the actual offense is still the same: it was never Bruce’s to do ANYTHING with other than what Dick wanted done with it. Take on a new partner? Sure. But give him the mantle made of Dick’s work, Dick’s past, Dick’s every action as Robin? Nope.

So really the mix and match only serves one real purpose, for anyone who is intent on dismissing the firing as just a retcon but sees no need to uphold Dick choosing to give Robin to Jason instead of Bruce doing that...when Bruce doing that is literally part of the exact same retcon they’re so intent on discarding!

The only real purpose that mix and match serves is to keep Bruce centered in the Robin succession with his choice to give it to Jason being the basis of Jason associating Robin with Bruce. It keeps Bruce as the person Jason thinks of and feels connected to every time he thinks of why he’s Robin at all....because Bruce is the one who gave him the symbol that was already well known and full of meaning when Jason stepped into those shoes.

And then of course at the same time the mix and match also ‘lessens’ Bruce’s offense to Dick in taking Robin against his wishes WHILE also suggesting that Dick has less basis of feeling resentful of Bruce passing it on to someone else without his say so because it’s not like he was using it anymore right? And that was his own choice right?

But so what if it was? That doesn’t make it any less his creation and his legacy. It doesn’t make it any less a Grayson family connection and somehow more a Bruce Wayne family connection.

And that’s my beef. That’s the big irony of how flat out counter intuitive the mix and match retcon thing is and always has been. It only accomplishes half its objective....keeps the later Robins more connected to Bruce via it than they are to Dick via it....because it ultimately still runs through Bruce. But it fails to accomplish its secondary objective simply because refusing to acknowledge that Robin is intrinsically tied to Dick Grayson and not Bruce Wayne like....doesn’t actually make it any less true.

And that’s why imo the question should never have been “does your fic go with the version where Dick gives up Robin or the retcon where Bruce fires Dick” ...no, the right question in my mind should have always been “does your fic go with the version where Dick gives Robin to Jason or the retcon where Bruce gives it to Jason.”

And here’s the sticking point:

People always point to Bruce and Dick’s initial connection as the basis of their entire Dynamic Duo partnership. They understood each otrher via their parallel experiences losing their parents to murder. Bruce saw himself in a young Dick Grayson and he wanted to help Dick figure out a way forward to life after his parents’ death by drawing upon his own experiences.

But at the same time, they aren’t the same. Even with Bruce guiding Dick forward through his trauma and grief by following a map made of his own prior experiences, the end result was not the same for both....but it still used some of the same road marks on their respective journeys.

And this is why the Dynamic Duo were always emphasized as partners, as complementing each other, balancing each other....things they could only do because they were not the same and even using similar coping mechanisms to deal with their PARALLEL tragedies....produced entirely different results.

Both used their tragedies, their traumas, their PAIN to fuel their pursuit of justice and desire to help protect people. Both built new personas for themselves to use in their shared missions here....personas which embodied what they wanted to accomplish in these guises while at the same time reminding them why they were doing this.

But the personas they created ended up looking very different despite being born of similar crucibles...because they prioritized different things....and because they were honoring different people.

No matter how much Bruce and Dick have in common due to circumstances they are very different people who are both products of the families and places they come from....and thus even when using similar PROCESSES to build something out of their parallel tragedies, what emerged from the fires once they were done creating from their traumas.....don’t look the same. Aren’t interchangeable.

And neither are their creators.

Bottom line, it in my opinion flat out does not work to attribute more connection to Robin and the succession of that mantle to Bruce than Dick.....because Bruce would never, COULD never create that specific mantle out of his grief and pain any more than Dick ever would or could have created Batman out of his. Because they are too different. They needed different things out of their journeys forward, they were commemorating having had different journeys behind them, they were walking a shared path side by side but you can’t switch the clothes they made to wear going forward anymore than you can switch their footprints beneath their feet....they don’t fit into what the other made because it wasn’t made BY them and it wasn’t made FOR them.

So riddle me this, Batfandom: how does it make sense to focus on their parallel tragedies and how they moved forward from those in similar ways and on a shared trajectory, emphasizing how this is the entire basis of the Batman and Robin partnership from its very inception.....

Only to then view the role Bruce’s grief, his loss, his pain played in birthing the Batman mantle as something sacrosanct, undeniable....these things go hand in hand, there’s no separating them even when others end up wearing the Batman mantle as well, even through multiple generations....

But at the EXACT SAME TIME....treating Dick’s grief, HIS loss, HIS pain and the role all THAT played in birthing the Robin mantle....as something that barely comes up as a footnote the second you put the costume on anyone other than Dick? Something the others never even feel inclined to THINK about when reflecting on the mantle they’re wearing and where it came from and why it exists?

Why is the one rated as so less significant than the other....if the entire point of Batman and Robin is that both heroes were born from the ashes of tragedies so similar they understood each other in ways most other mentors and sidekicks never came close to?

How’s that work exactly?

Look, you’ll never catch me arguing that Bruce isn’t and shouldn’t be central to the Batman mantle, mythos, succession, etc. And I loved Dick as Batman too. But it ultimately should always come back to Bruce no matter how many people add to it in their own ways. Because it’s not just about what Bruce made.....it’s why he made it that matters too. The act of creating Batman is as important to the story of Batman as the created Batman.

And those very same reasons are precisely why Bruce shouldn’t be regarded as central to the ROBIN mantle, succession, etc.

To dismiss the Graysons as not being definitive to the greater Robin mythos is to say Thomas and Martha Wayne bear no special significance to the Batman mythos.

I love that being Robin connects these siblings and ties them all together as part of the same family. I love it being a shared family tradition that encompasses all of them and marks this family of choice as having been specifically chosen by not just it’s patriarch but each other.

But it’s not Bruce’s family tradition and it’s not a Wayne or even a Batman hand me down.

Because it doesn’t even come from Bruce’s family.

It comes from Dick’s. He brought it with him. It’s what connects him to what came before life with Bruce because as everyone knows but so many people often forget to give MEANING....

Dick Grayson, for as much as he is Batman’s son and is undeniably Bruce’s family, had a life of his own before he ever met Bruce.

He didn’t begin with Bruce Wayne. He didn’t come from Bruce Wayne.

And neither did Robin.

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 4 years ago

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I really want to read the post where you say "why Ravenclaw is the House that suits MC the most in the main story" but I dont find it

I haven’t ever made a full length post about it, come to think of it. I’ve talked about it in previous Ask responses but admittedly I have quite a few of those. So I suppose now is as good a time as any!

Ultimately, HPHM’s story is designed so that any House can work for Jacob’s Sibling. Obviously, no one House is “canon” over the others. But in my personal opinion, certain Houses do make more sense for different reasons. Everything can change based on how you characterize MC, but setting aside the dialogue choices, they tend to have a general personality that fills in for most of the scenes. It’s average, a kind of “everyman” type. And certain choices can arguably be considered “canon” when they’re the ones that are free, placed next to choices that are locked behind attributes or friendship checks. That is the general vision of MC that I’ll be analyzing.

But first, the characters.

One of the primary reasons that MC fits Ravenclaw the best in the Main Story is because there are several characters who are aligned to MC in their Sorting. They always follow MC to whatever House they go to. Thus it becomes a question of which house suits them the most. Rowan Khanna, I think, speaks for them-self. I could see them in any House but they are a Ravenclaw through and through. I bet the only reason they ever get Sorted anywhere else is because they ask the Hat to let them follow MC. They are absolutely brilliant, with a love of reading and learning new things. They’re eccentric as well, deeply creative and good at coming up with plans. They dream of being a Professor, and they turn to books above all else. Next we have Jacob. Another character who could go anywhere based on interpretation, but he strikes me as a Ravenclaw too. Several of the options you can give when expressing speculation about him suggest that the reason he probably investigated the Vaults in the first place was his thirst for knowledge, his desire to know their secrets. To be specific, his stubborn and obsessive need to know. I feel like Jacob couldn’t let this go until he had learned all of the hidden magic and secrets of the Vaults, until he realized far too late that he was in over his head, mixed up with R and everything.

Then there is Flitwick. A canon Ravenclaw of course, and one of the four Heads of House. It could be coincidental, but even if it is, Flitwick is easily the most developed of the Heads of House within this game. McGonagall is totally in character, but she’s part of the sideline outside of a small section of Year 2. Sprout contributes absolutely nothing, and Snape is likewise in character, but lacking anything to do until Rakepick shows up. Flitwick prepares MC for the first duel with Merula and gives them counsel. I suppose it’s not that much more than McGonagall teaching them the revealing spell in Year 2, but this felt so much more personal. You have the chance to make a promise to Flitwick, and either keep it or break it. In Year 4, he is I think the only teacher to speak up in Rakepick’s defense, and this leads into even further development of his character. By Year 5, he starts to warn MC not to investigate the Portrait Curse, but stops mid-sentence as he realizes that nothing he can say will stop them. I bring all of this up because Flitwick being such a fleshed out character in this game kind of goes hand in hand pretty well with the idea that he is MC’s Head of House. He is the only Head who shows the slightest bit of remorse when banning MC from Hogsmeade. With him, you really get the sense that he’s being overruled and doesn’t agree with it. That he’s in MC’s corner. And god I love him. I won’t stray too far into the Quidditch characters, but I will say that Murphy and Orion are two other characters that stick with MC, who I could very much see as Ravenclaws, both in different ways. But still, it’s Jacob and Rowan who are most important in affecting the story.

Which brings me to the story itself.

Hogwarts Mystery is different from the story of Harry Potter. This is the tale of Jacob and his Sibling. In HP, we know from the beginning who the villain is, that he’s an evil monster. We know what he wants, and that he failed. It gets fleshed out more later but everything you need to know is in that first book. We see him, he clashes with Harry, and loses. The books are a hero’s journey. A story of good versus evil. They do have mystery aspects, each of the books has a mystery told within it’s pages. But the overarching story is not about what’s hidden in the trapdoor, or who opened the chamber of secrets. It’s about Harry and Voldemort’s rivalry, their hero/villain dynamic. Everyone knew going into DH that Harry would defeat him in the end because that’s how these things go. OOTP basically confirmed it but most fans had known for years.

HPHM is different.

There are heroic moments, and Merula in particular compares MC to being a “hero.” But nothing they do is heroic in the same way as Harry. They both take active roles in the story but in different ways. Harry is still reactionary. He takes it upon himself to solve the problems, but he still waits until the problems show up. MC plans to open the Vaults even before the Curses show themselves. They arrive at Hogwarts with a goal in mind, finding Jacob. And with Hogwarts Mystery, the overarching story is not a hero’s journey. Because MC is so much more ambiguous than Harry. It might seem redundant to say that this story is a Mystery, but it is. An ongoing investigation, the unraveling of a conspiracy. Learning the truth about just what went down during Jacob’s years at Hogwarts. By HBP, Voldemort was such a familiar presence that we were learning the ins and outs of his childhood, right down to how his parents met. By Year 6, we still have no idea what R really is, or what they want. We don’t even know what it stands for. The black and white of the books, the heroes and the villains...that’s all replaced with shades of gray. Jacob is constantly in the gray. So is Rakepick, at least at first. Don’t get me started on Merula. Ben is another character who is definitely good, but has gone through such a roller coaster about who he is and whether he can be trusted.

Then there’s the ambiguity of MC them-self. The hints that they don’t share everything with people, are prone to tricking others, and for all we know, might wind up on the Dark Side someday. I’ll admit, this can also lend itself well to MC being a Slytherin, and indeed there are dialogue choices that are locked behind being one. But I still feel as though MC playing detective throughout this entire game, that whole premise lends itself pretty damn well toward a Ravenclaw MC. They’re trying to defeat the bad guys, but their main method of preparing for that fight is not train up an army of students, it is to investigate the Vaults, and investigate R. Even going as far as to work with Wizarding police. Granted, I know Harry poked around a lot too. And MC does form the Circle of Khanna, just like how Harry formed Dumbledore’s Army. Both of them do exhibit both behaviors, but MC specializes in covert investigation more than preparation for combat. Again, at least they do so in the main story. The Circle of Khanna was not meant to be like Dumbledore’s Army, at least not in concept. MC first conceived it as the idea of standing toe to toe with the Cabal by having a secret organization of their own. I know that didn’t really land perfectly in actual practice but that was the whole idea. And if there’s one thing MC has a constant stream of, it’s ideas. Not always the right ones, not always fast enough, but they do have them, and these ideas steer the plot. In the main story and otherwise.

It’s probably a bit cheap to get meta, but so be it.

I can’t help but notice how, if we take every other contribution to the Potterverse into account...well then, we’ve got a Gryffindor Protagonist in the form of Harry. We’ve got a Slytherin Protagonist in the form of Albus Severus. And a Hufflepuff over in Fantastic Beasts with Newt Scamander. If MC is a Ravenclaw, then that completes the quartet. But there’s another Quartet out there as well - that of the Original Four. Rowan, Ben, Penny, and Merula. The Year 1 characters and the OG leads of the Hogwarts Mystery story. Notice anything about them? We have a Hufflepuff, a Gryffindor, and a Slytherin...but no Ravenclaw. None that is, unless MC, and therefore Rowan by extension, is a Ravenclaw. MC being Sorted into the House of Eagles completes both of these groups. I dunno, I just find it curious that unless the Player goes to Ravenclaw, the first student character we meet in that House shows up in Year 3. Because Jam City wrote in some amazing characters for Ravenclaw. My love of Tulip Karasu is well documented, but I also think Talbott is pretty damn fascinating. Andre and Badeea rock too! Ravenclaw is also a relatively neutral House. I’ve said before that HPHM ignores the House rivalries, and that’s easiest to incorporate in the House of Eagles, which mostly keeps to itself. It would not be socially strange for a Ravenclaw to have so many friends from different Houses. I’m not saying a Slytherin MC couldn’t befriend Ben, for example, but he’s a Muggle-born Gryffindor and that would be a big deal to everyone else. Again, not saying it couldn’t happen, just that it would turn heads and people within Slytherin might go as far as to treat MC like a traitor. I like this premise, but...would Felix seriously help MC prepare to fight Merula, a fellow Slytherin, on behalf of someone like Ben? There are other trivial problems, like the question of two male Prefects if MC is Gryffindor, etc.

But that’s just a few thoughts. Again, there’s clearly no “canon” House, and neither of my MCs are even in Ravenclaw. But I think it’s fun to explore the idea as Ravenclaw is a House that, I think, is sorely needing development.

#Harry Potter #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #HPHM Analysis #HPHM Jacob's Sibling #HPHM Jacob #Rowan Khanna #Filius Flitwick #HPHM #Ramblings #Long Post #Patricia Rakepick #HPHM R #The Circle of Khanna

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j-mysticalien · 4 years ago

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🔫 the oc content, hand it over /lh

you don’t have to if u don’t want to lol I just saw you said something about ocs and 👀 I am interested

FIRST OF ALL 🥺🥺🥺

SECOND OF ALL OKAY OKAY HERE TAKE IT

(I ended up dumping a lot ... I saw the opportunity and ran with it I didn’t mean to oops)

These guys have been in my head for y e a r s and even though I'll abandon them for months at a time, there are plot points I've forgotten, it’s very very unfinished, and clearly influenced by my freshman year interests, they're some of my favorites to imagine and write like every time I do a picrew chain or something I make them too for myself okay okay-

So. Exposition. For ages the demons and dark things have slipped between the veil and into the world. As evil rises, so do those who stand against it. In some parts of the world The Order was established not to eradicate or wage war against the demons, just to keep everything in their proper dimensions and destroy those who refuse. Members of the Order work in groups with assigned roles, often passed down generations. 1: trained in the physical aspects of fighting creatures, they have the unique and mysterious ability to survive in the other dimension-at least better than the average mortal. 2, “Alchemist”: Usually a witch, human descendant of a magical being, or a particularly skilled mortal even. they provide the magical aid since the other cannot perform magic themselves. (Though Witches tend to form their own communities or work with the demon realm which historically has caused tensions) While fewer and well hidden, this secret society guards the mortal realm to this day...

There’s a small, quiet town in the northeast. Nothing much happens- the power may go out or the weather may turn within seconds and figures may appear and shift into the shadows but it all turns out fine eventually. Nothing to worry about. But those who know a little too much know where to go when things need to be taken care off. Bloom’s Florist and Garden Shop, a sweet little store in the middle of town staffed by the owner’s two teenaged kids. They’ve got a lovely selection of flowers and herbs. If you hear noises from their basement, best to ignore it. If you see the kids sprinting down the street, best to stay out of their way. If they tell you to avoid the woods one night, you listen...

OCS MY BELOVED HERE THEY ARE

Dante Achilles Sindweller. He is type 1. He’s tall, thin but muscular, almost dangerously pale. His hair is blue, eyes blue though they sometimes look red. Riddles with piercings and pale scars. Cocky bastard but well deserved. Friendly and deadly all at once. He’s good at what he does and is always up for a challenge. Low key high key losing his sense of humanity. You see actually being in the demon dimension is draining because of the pure chaos of it but returning to reality is rough too. Because of the hunter’s ability (I’m pretty sure they have this ability bc the og demon hunters secretly fucked a bunch of demons so Hunters have demon blood and cannot “die” in the hell dimension but idfk at this point) they can adapt to the word with a combination of demonic attributes and idealized forms that disappear when he gets back. So um the mental toll is very much a thing that he hides very well...at least at first. He doesn’t actually have to travel too often thought, just during emergencies and later he genuinely visits some chill demon friends there.

Cordelia Emerys Bloom, “Cordie”. 5′2″, dark brown skin, black hair she keeps in two short braids, round rimmed glasses. She’s the alchemist. a few of her far off ancestors were fae. Her own magical battery is low so she’s become skilled in working with. potions and magical plants. She’s the most serious member. of the trio. She knows the job, she has a rhythm, she doesn’t like change. This group had three braincells and 90% of the time she has all of them. She likes her plants, her books, and Dante. She’s a little high strung and stubborn but she’s clever, intelligent, and really warm person once you get past her shields. She grew up way too fast and with all her adult figures gone, Dante slowly slipping (though she denies it to the point where Alice bright it up and they didn’t talk for a week), and this irritation turned fear that Alice’s presence is temporary leaves her with some issues but it’s okay im determined to let her be happy, she just has to let herself accept happiness.

Alice Barnet. A witch. Thick, bright red hair, hazel/ blue eyes. Absolutely stunning. and a fashion icon. She moved to attend to uppity private school right outside of town. She stumbled upon the shop and immediately sensed the great power hidden in there. So she just walked in- because of the dimensional portal not because the girl at the register she saw through the window was so pretty what are you talking about it was witch instinct only- and announced herself and offered her services. She’s a flirt, though a sincere one. She projects a confident, fun vibes even if she doesn't actually feel it. Fake it until you make it I guess. Coffee addict will memorize your birth chart, Starbucks order, and all the little behavioral things. Most of my early drabbles with her involve her sitting on Cordie’s desk sipping her iced coffee while Cordie is like “how tf did you get in here” “good question. Better one: they didn’t have the black tea you like is green okay?” She actually is part of an informal coven but that’s a whole side story with its own cast of characters I haven’t touched in ages

Dynamics dynamics so Cordie and Dante are siblings in all but blood, they’ve been together for almost their entire lives. (Cordie’s parents are almost always away-either on Order business or just vibing idk they’re cool though. Dante’s parents are dead but only Dante himself seems to know that-Something about demon blood and dimension hopping doesn’t let their kind live long) They’re really close. If they met at this point in life they probably would never have been friends and Cordie probably would despise him but as they are they love each other and *know* each other. Technically Dante is older but Cordie is the eldest sister of the relationship.

The two of them have opposite reactions when Alice enters their life. (This entrance is one of the few *full* scenes I actually wrote down) Dante is allured-not by her but by the potential adventure she represents. She states her case and he’s like oh this’ll be interesting. They become best friends almost instantly. Their sass, confidence, and more adventurous sides click harmoniously- much of the time to Cordie’s dismay. To Cordelia, Alice is something unknown, something potentially dangerous. She makes her assumptions (prissy, incompetent, entitled, inexperienced) and tolerated her. Alice has had a crush on her since day 1. She was determined to prove herself to the group and really she’d just like to get her trust and friendship at some point, gushy feelings be damned. They fall in love slowly, they learn to trust and be weak and learn to know each other and be themselves Alice is genuinely interested in all the stuff Cordie knows about the magical world and Cordie gets to try to be a person outside of that world. The recent stuff I’ve actually written down involves a lot of sleepy conversations and whispered confessions and soft touched and hhh

Some of the non-human characters

“Lady”: the ghost that haunts the basement/ Order base. She can’t really speak and isn't always visible, never fully. They don’t know who she was or why she’s there. She helps out when she can though. Might help Dante in the very end.

All of the actual demons are off ideas. Like each deadly sin has it’s own demon (they didn’t realize some humans had grouped them together for some time but they think it’s funny, sometimes they hang out just because of that) The gang doesn't directly meet a lot of them but

Curiosity aka “Apple” aka “Heather” aka “Bee”aka...:The spark that fuels innovation ne the spiral of a downfall. frequently visits human world, team switches between stopping them from blowing up a building to playing Mario kart together. Like he definitely causes trouble and should not keep escaping through the portal but like...he’s fun to got to the mall with. Funky Lil dude who’s there for a good time and some chaos. Changes aliases all the time.

Nostalgia aka “Honey-Lavender”: the kind that leaves the ghost of a smile on your face, the kind that drowns you in the past, the kind that makes you want to go back, or forget. mostly stays in hell. One of the demons Dante visits and is acquainted with. They lay and talk. She can be a downer but he doesn’t mind, he appreciates the company and some days she keeps him tethered to his life and sanity (on the bad says she has the opposite effect, she can’t help it)

OKAY AHAHA THATS ENOUGH OUT OF ME THERE THEY ARE THANKS

#OH BOY UM OKAY #j mysticalien ocs #I’m cringing putting some of this on here but #j mysticalien speaks #Dante Cordie Alice

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yandere-daydreams · 6 years ago

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Omega Todoroki and Alpha Darling who makes a passing comment of “Oh you’re totally cute but I can’t imagine being with you at all. You’re like a little brother to me- almost a son, actually.” Because all they see from Todo so desperately clinging to them and getting their scent on his things is just like, puppies trying to imitate their parents or maybe him trying to find comfort. They’ve been told they exude a calming scent for an Alpha, and thats what they assume he’s been doing.

Omega!Todoroki is just,,, absolutely amazing to me. He’s the needy brat he’s meant to be. Also, just for clarification, Todoroki is the side-kick of an older Hero, in this, not long after he graduates. It should go without saying that he has quite a bit of baggage around parental-figures…

TW: Toxic Relationship, Manipulation, and A/B/O Dynamics (heats, pheromones, etc…).

He liked to sit on your lap. You’d come to realize that, recently.

Even now, Shoto was straddling your thighs, cuddled up to your chest and slotted against the crook of your neck, rubbing his cheek just below your scent gland, like he was trying to get himself scented. It wasn’t anything new to you, not when Shoto seemed so insistent on showing you affection, but he was damn-near desperate today, warm breath fanning over your neck, his pheromones soon making it difficult to move, blink, breath without running the risk of losing control and doing…

And doing something an Alpha would do, to a vulnerable, young Omega.

Weakly, you tried to push him away, blinking yourself out of your tired daze. You must’ve made the mistake of falling asleep in your office before your hardworking, oh-so-determined side-kick left the agency, resulting in an empty building and an undeterred Shoto. If it was anyone else, you would’ve kicked him out months ago, especially when he refused to take ‘no’ for answer, but between everything he told you about his father, what his siblings went through, fuck, how much other Heroes would want to use his quirk, you weren’t sure if he’d be any safer working under another Alpha than he was distracting you. Out of concern alone, you bit back your complaints, forcing his smaller form away from you as Shoto blicked, hardly adjusting to the distance before reaching out, leaning forward as he whimpered at the lack of contact.

“Go home, Todoroki.” You tried to sound empathetic, but the exhaustion made it difficult. He didn’t seem to mind, though, only whining while you kept him at a distance. “Nothing’s going to happen, alright? You’re like-”

“I’m like a son to you,” He finished, knowing the mantra just as well as you did. You’d repeated it dozens of times, hunderds, if you counted press-events and meet-and-greets, but he never seemed to fully grasp what it meant. Either way, the interruption made you falter, Shoto slipping past your weakened hold and wrapping his arms around your waist, nuzzling into you just as frantically as he had been a moment ago. “Or were you going to call me your brother, today? I could pretend, if you’re into that,” He mused, something sharp hitting your senses. Shoto had always been one of the more… obvious Omegas, but his scent was smothering, tonight. Fighting against your own calming aura, the haze you’d attributed to your sleep deprivation becoming a thick, clouding fog, overpowering you before you even had a chance to react. “I’d be anything for you.”

It took you longer than you were proud of to realize what was happening, the slick slowly soaking through his uniform just as much of an indicator as the heavy breaths pushing against your chest, how fast his heart was beating, his new-found concentration on your scent. You’d seen these kinds of symptoms before, or heard of them, at least.

Shoto was in heat. Or the beginnings of one, at least.

He was in heat, and he was sitting in your lap.

“Fuck, fuck, you’re supposed to be on suppressants! I got you suppressants.” You weren’t gentle, this time, shoving him into your desk as you moved to get up, to get out, before you did something you’d regret. He was resilient, though, only grabbing your collar, pulling you against him as he shifted onto your desk, pushing files and supplies to the ground as he tried to kiss you.

Shoto pouted as you avoided it, and settling to dig your nails into the wood and claw when you realized he wasn’t going to relent. He pecked at your jaw between words, instead, fiddling with the buttons of your shirt when you failed to bat him away. “I stopped taking them. They made me feel… bad, like I wasn’t really here. I didn’t like it.” He paused, teeth grazing against your ear as he looked for something to mark. “But, I’d be a good mate, wouldn’t I? I’m sure Gang Orca would think so.” You stiffened at the mention of another Alpha (an Apex, at that), internally pulling him closer, letting your head fall to his shoulder. Shoto just laughed, as unbothered as he was fucking crazy. “I could call up my old teacher, too. Do you want me to spend my heat with Aizawa, instead?”

He reached for the phone at his side, letting you go willingly for the first time all night. But, you weren’t as eager to get rid of him.

You bit him. Hard.

It was too far down, too harsh to leave a proper mating-mark, but it was enough for Shoto, grinning as he pushed you into him, his scent only becoming more suffocating with every inhale. What thoughts you could still form were focused on rationalizing, justifying, saving yourself from the overwhelming, overpowering guilt slowly seeping into your mind. You hadn’t been lying, he was like a son to you, a sensitive stray puppy who got attached to the first owner to show it any favor.

But, you tried to tell yourself that he was better off with you than anyone else. If he went to another Hero, starry-eyed and during the strongest phrase of his heat, he’d be used, abandoned, mistreated. Giving him what he wanted, keeping him safe, was the best option.

Even if you doubted there was a wide gap between you and these other Alphas.

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blues-fandom-bullshit · 5 years ago

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Ren (Axe) Introduction

Creature- Werewolf

Element- Water + Fire/Earth Ren was hard to choose for, as he holds traits of all fire, water and earth.

The water element is one of big feelings and imagination. Water signs are submerged in their surroundings, often sensing the hidden emotional reality. Water signs are attuned to waves of emotion, and often seem to have a built-in sonar for reading a mood.

Fire personality traits are love, passion, leadership, spirituality, insight, dynamism, aggression, intuition, reason, and expressiveness. The fire personality is direct-right out front. A fire type succeeds by becoming warm-hearted and generous.

Attributes. The Wu Xing Earth is associated with the qualities of patience, thoughtfulness, practicality, hard work, and stability. The earth element is also nurturing and seeks to draw all things together with itself, in order to bring harmony, rootedness and stability.

Traits-

Werewolves have two portrayals.

Born- Those born with the shifting are more easily in tune with their instincts and are more in control of them. They're less easy to control as the moon waxes. Born ones find it easier to control if they have a long line of werewolves, especially from both parents.

Bitten- The instincts hit hard. Constantly. They're overwhelming at full moon. Near always in a state of panic as the bitten one tries to keep control, which makes the wolf side go crazy.

Some wolves live in packs, others in solitude.

Werewolves either bred themselves into extinction as the wolf traits fell, or were killed off, so Ren doesn't have a pack to really live with. He has his brother.

Most wolves are territorial, which Ren, partially, is. He's more curious to see who/what entered and if there's food he can eat.

_______________________________

Ren is one of the taller Sans'. At 7'2 without his ears, 218.4. Adding his ears is 7'5, 226.1.

Ren has a very large, broad body. Even larger than Domni's. His thick arms are enough to smother someone to his chest.

His crack nearly meets his left socket, which holds the oversized pinprick of his.

His tail isn't neatly kept, full of knots and tangles.

His wolf form, along side his constantly showing ears and tail with lower limbs, are mainly a deep red with black smears with white tips to the fur and underside.

Speaking of wolf form, we're not talking three and a half feet. A full five and a half feet tall, and heavy muscle despite the lack of food he holds to his stomach.

When not in his shifted form, he has only one ear on his right side of his skull, and a phantom ear that flickers in sight from above the opening.

His lower arms and legs are wolf-like and covered in fur.

On the subject of fur, he has some fur in the area above his top two ribs and his clavicles. Nice and soft after some conditioning.

Powers-

Heightened senses- Hearing, sight, smell.

Endurance + Stamina- Better than humans. Will catch you in seconds.

Tolerance- They're mortal, but they have a higher defense against pain.

Healing- They actually heal pretty quickly.

Telepathy- They're telepathic, but only with those in their packs.

Weaknesses-

Instincts- Can, and will, overpower him and turn him feral for a hood ammount of time.

Head damage- Damaging the brain or cracking the skull can, and most likely will, lead to death. It's a miracle on Ren is alive with his instincts running more wild with his skull open.

Part removal- If you take an eye, limb, or any other part, when they revert to their humanoid form, it will show.

Fire- It's scary. Will drive away the shifters.

Wolves bane- The plants are poisonous on their own, but ti wolves? Fatal.

Silver- Can stop a wolves regeneration abilities.

Personality-

Ren is.. Desperate. He's been so afraid his entire life that he'll lash out again -he's done so on his brother, other monsters, his father, and others- and hurt someone.

You have something with you that calms his mind. Your scent alone is enough to help soothe his instincts.

Very clingy, yet paranoid. He's constantly searching for soemthing to drown his wolf side while pushing others who want to help away in fear of hurting them.

He's terrified. Every damn second.

When he's not searching, he's asleep from over exertion. When he's not passed out and looking for a stabilizer, he's trying to find food for him and his brother.

When he does find you, the one who calms him, he's constantly cuddling up and holding you. He's surprisingly gentle for his power level, size, and strength. He's aware he could hurt you, and that scares him.

When he does become more aware he could crush you, he tries to distance himself, only to end up with you on him with his instincts fighting for freedom.

Overall, he needs therapy. After the underground, mods of humans, and now free reign to go ramped, he needs someone to teach him suppressing these feelings isn't the best option.

Backstory-

He was born pre-war, but, as said before, was accidentally attacked by his maternal parent.

When the war did hit, his birth giver had already left and he was alone with his father who struggked to take care of two boys, keep up his experiments, and report to the king.

Ren had his first break down of instincts in elementary school, where he had to be muzzled and bound by his wrists and ankles. From there, he was home schooled because he was a danger.

When high school rolled around, he ended up attacking Inten and nesr ruining his younge brothers right wing while succeeding in scarring up his brothers back.

As the surface rolled around, he slaughtered a small town -but left the children because something held him from devouring them- from the sudden rush of freedom and blood. He was chased out and now lives in the forest.

#ancif #horrorancif #undertale #undertaleau #horrortale #horror sans #horrortale sans #Ren #werewolf #sfw

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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years ago

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Good Goodbyes - Doug Peterson x Reader (Secret Men’s Business)

@mandy23b @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad

GIF CREDIT: X

Author’s Note: Oh. Come on, that’s how they left it you knew I was gonna jump all over this! This was supposed to be a short prelude to the scenario I really wanted to write... As you can see... ‘short’ is NOT what happened.

Gosh, Doug Peterson really stole my heart 😅

This might be the only time that I suggest that you listen to a playlist while you read. Because Doug’s playlist is essentially THIS fic.

Disclaimer: Gif not mine / Lyrics not mine / Secret Men’s Business Characters/plot etc not mine I know I gave her an age - I just really wanted an Older!Reader dynamic, and also that’s around the age that dancers retire, so fits the canon of the story 😊

Premise: Doug Peterson is determined to start over. He knows he needs it, even deserves it, after what went on between his wife and best friend. Armed with his writing, his work and his dreams - Doug wants nothing more than to make this fresh start a good one.

Words: 10,018

Warnings: Swearing / Sexual Connotations / Insulin Warning

__________ I thought goodbyes were never easy I should know by now, girl believe me I thought love would just leave me broke But I'm not, I can breathe, turns out you, set me free And I'm wishing, I'm wishing, I'm wishing you find all that you need And I'm hoping you find somebody who loves you more than me Yeah, it hurt me for like two weeks Don't expect tears when you see me, no This ain't a holding on as long as we Can 'cause this time there's no tears to dry This is a "Thank You, God" we got out of the mess we were in Baby just in time Who knew there was still light in my eyes? Who knew that you don't have to try And that you don't have to cry? Who knew there could be good goodbyes

I might miss you if you'd have been there or Given me proof that you actually cared but now There's no regrets, no turning back Already left you behind And I'm wishing, I'm wishing, I'm wishing you find somebody new And I won't have no trouble finding someone who loves me more than you Who knew there could be good goodbyes? Who knew there could be better times? Who knew I would feel so alive? Who knew there could be good goodbyes? ---

Yesterday I found out about you Even now just looking at you feels wrong You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance It was a moment of weakness and you said yes I should've been there, in the back of your mind I shouldn't be asking myself why You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet You should've said no, baby and you might still have me

I can't resist, before you go, tell me this Was it worth it Was he worth this

---

The car flew down the freeway towards Sydney. Sitting in the passenger seat was the box of writing that’d been there since he’d said goodbye to all his friends, and in the back his packed bags. The sun glinted on the high rises in the late afternoon – but the time didn’t bother him, he had a hotel room for tonight, and he knew a friend with an apartment he could rent until he got himself settled. Ali had tried to talk him out of leaving, but he wasn’t having it. How was he supposed to trust her ever again? And say he did, say he forgave her and attributed it to lonliness and a moment of weakness – what if she did it again? Cheat once and surely you could cheat again. And, he remined himself, it wasn’t a onetime occurrence. In fact, Michael and her cared about him so little that they were ready to have phone sex whilst he was in the goddamn house. What about the barbeque – wasn’t that openly flirtatious behaviour? He’d known then and done nothing… So he ignored her protests, and he packed up. He didn’t want to hear it, no excuse was ever going to excuse what she’d done to him; that his wife and his best friend had gone right ahead and broken his heart. He didn’t feel anything but empty now he was standing in front of her. And there was nothing more to say other than You’ll be hearing from a divorce lawyer shortly. She was devastated by that, but he wasn’t about to cry over her again. How much time had he wasted here? The one thing he did make sure to do was talk to his son. Dillon wasn’t quite old enough to understand exactly what was happening, and the main thing was making sure he knew it wasn’t his fault. Because he was going to fight for custody all the way. ‘Just let me get set up… and it’ll all be fine… it’ll all be fine.’ But for now he had to be out of that house, because God forbid he fell for her again – that he let her walk all over him. He wouldn’t let her and Michael treat him like that, nor laugh behind his back ever again. As he pulled into the city Doug Peterson allowed himself to smile, a genuine smile, for the first time in a long while. This was the start of something completely new; a place in the city, a new job, a new life… And he was determined to make it a good one. *** Several Months Later…

Divorce proceedings seemed mercifully short. Doug wasn’t sure she’d have just signed away for him – although the custody battle was a little harder. Still, Ali was really a ‘the job comes first’ type and Doug made a good case. Apparently the better case, because that was agreed too, and in his favour. So now he got to be a single parent. And that wasn’t the only good thing happening for him; Doug had made decent money before, so moving into his own place came quickly. He had a home office, and therefore got to spend as much time with Dillon as humanly possible – finally able to love every second of his life. He made a bunch of new friends quickly, and at least phoned Andy every other week. Doug even occasionally checked in with Ian. He left Michael and Woz well alone for now; unsure he could really stomach those conversations yet. Andy always asked if he’d found anyone new yet; and Doug would always laugh nervously – could he ever date again? He thought it might take a long time to build that kind of trust up once more. For now, that scene was off limits and not for him. All he wanted to do was spend quality time with his son. But the business, that was important. He was well known in the advertisement industry; sure he’d never got the big break, but the people he did know were eager to fund him and get him off the ground. From this generosity DP Advertisements was born. Luckier still, Doug had managed to bring the majority of his client base with him. So when Dillion was at school, Doug threw himself into his work – and thoroughly enjoyed all aspects of it.

Because the company was smaller it meant he got a lot of very interesting calls – the kind of jobs he’d never been able to do. Digital media and TV advertising wasn’t his only remit after all. Print, posters, billboards, website advertising – new for everybody – Doug got the opportunity to do a little of everything. He always liked meeting new prospective clients and finding out what they were looking to achieve before he said yes or no. He could just about afford to say no to anything he simply found too boring – but with his new attitude, Doug found everything pretty interesting. His newest prospect suggesting meeting in a restaurant – a lunch meeting, expensed. Suddenly he decided that it wouldn’t really matter what was pitched, because he was getting a meal for free – and at a well reputed restaurant no less. He was just a little nervous; they were well spoken, they’d seen some of his work around, liked the fact that he was a one person company (although Doug did mention his experience), and reached out to him through channels they knew at other agencies who would be able to say exactly whose work his was. Clearly they had done their research, and he had come well recommended. When the day came, Doug dressed in one of his best suits, and wore a tie, arrived early at the restaurant; maybe a little too early – but he was nervous enough to not want to be late. The restaurant was near empty; he supposed due to the exclusivity of it. Three girls sat at the bar with steaming cups – not day drinking then! - a business meeting was being conducted in a quiet corner, and two or three tables were having an early lunch. When Doug gave the name of the party he was meeting, eyes flew wide. He wasn’t sure what that meant and no words were spoken; they allowed him to sit at a table with a nice view. He set up, and recited to himself a pitch he knew off by heart – even if he didn’t exactly know what they wanted yet. But he found himself easily distracted, and before long Doug Peterson wasn’t looking at the view he should have been looking at; because he’d found one slightly better. He’d caught your eye too; it shouldn’t have surprised you, sitting with your two closest friends sipping tea, it wasn’t hard to miss the cutie dressed in a suit who’d just walked through the door. Even harder to miss when he kept stealing glances at you in the hope you wouldn’t notice; you were clearly slightly more skilled at being discreet. You could guess he was early 30s, maybe a little nervous about whatever he was here for. The folder seated next to him on the plush bench seats probably meant it was a business meeting. That didn’t necessarily mean anything, but it did mean – if you found yourself to be correct - he wasn’t meeting his girlfriend (or wife, but you hadn’t noticed a ring) for lunch before he went back to work. Eventually you let him catch you looking at him, after you’d pointed him out discreetly to your friends – who for once didn’t turn simultaneously to stare themselves – but did both give you the same look that amounted to Hot Damn. Devour Him. When his blue eyes met yours he froze – immediately looking like a little kid who’d done something wrong. But the smile you gave him was soft – and moments later you received a small smile in return that had you looking back to your drink. It’d been a while since you’d flirted with anyone. You’d had a series of bad breakups in your life and probably hadn’t really dated anyone for a long while. Flirting was easy and usually harmless, so across a quiet restaurant whilst you waited with friends, it kept things interesting. Even though he had to be younger than you were. He certainly looked younger than you; which didn’t bother you either, but you’d never been with someone younger… Still, it continued on through your waiting time, and as he got a little more confident, he suddenly looked a lot older. Darker glint in his eye, smile replaced by a smirk and the occasional lip bite that drove you a bit wild. Enough to make you turn away from him with a laugh to catch yourself for a moment; Damn. But you could flirt back just as intensely as he could, between running your tongue slowly over your lips, the occasional slow wink, skimming your fingertips around the rim of your cup, eyebrows raised with just the right tilt of your head. Doug wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing, and why it felt so easy after he’d just spent so long telling his friends, and feeling, like he wasn’t ready for this yet. But it felt so natural, and you were responding in kind. Suddenly he was thinking that maybe he should get back into the game. If it was working on you - so much so it had pulled you away from your conversation with your friends - then maybe it’d work with anyone. You checked your watch, finished your cup and hugged and kissed your girls goodbye, picking up your bag from the floor you looked across to him again, with another smile you shook your head gently and crossed the restaurant. He was very nearly ashamed to say his heart leapt in his chest as you walked, your clothing was beautifully vintage, everything matched and even your walk was graceful – like you’d stepped right out of a daydream. He anticipated you to come to him – and yet Doug had never felt disappointment like when you didn’t, making your way to the door. Was that really it? You stopped at the greeting desk and there was politely animated conversation for a minute, before you turned and looked back across the restaurant at him again. “Excuse me, sorry, F/N L/N I’ve got a 12:30 booking for two people? You can just add the bar tab to the meal – that’s fine.” “Oh! Yes, of course Ms. L/N let me just check you in…” The maitre d’ turned back to her list for a moment, “OH! It appears the other half of your party is already here-!” “Huh? Oh, really?” She indicated across the room to the man you’d just spent the past half hour (at least!) furiously flirting with. You had to compose yourself before you turned back to him. No! Was it luck, or just your luck?! ‘My friends are gonna have a FIELD day!’ You thanked her, took a breath, allowed yourself to laugh and walked across to him. His lips parted as you approached his table, and Doug wasn’t sure that he liked that your face was unreadable. You unshouldered your bag and looped it around the back of the chair opposite him – before you beamed, “You’re Doug Peterson!” He immediately stood; “Y-Yeah! Oh, yo-you’re-!” “F/N L/N. Yes-! You’re not what I expected…” He held his hand out for you to shake, “I mean I-” He wasn’t sure exactly how to take that, so opted to simply shut up, but blush dusted his cheeks, and it made him look a lot cuter than he already was. “I think you already know that’s a compliment!” Your smile was polite, but you had no intention of taking your flirting any further. Not when what you’d called him about in the first place was so important. His laugh was nervous as you both seated yourselves and polite introductory conversation continued as you chose your meals, and it didn’t take much for you to persuade him into one glass of wine. Between courses Doug slid his portfolio from beside him and onto the table. “So I mean, I guess we’re both really here for this. As nice as it is to talk to you.” His grin was charming, and he knew precisely what he was doing, half of you wondered exactly why there was no ring on his finger. Who wouldn’t have taken up that opportunity as soon as it arose? And he didn’t seem like the headstrong business type who has married to his work. You couldn’t help but bite your lip through your smile as that, running the tip of your finger around your wine glass, “Yeah. I guess all I really said I wanted was advertising.” “Print. And a lot of it, by the sounds of things.” “Mhm. It suits the audience; posters, billboards and magazine print. These kids will be doing similar to what I used to, so-” You paused, “Right, yeah, I…” you laughed and Doug’s heart threatened to leap from his chest for just a second, “I should explain. I’m opening a dance company. Possibly a school, too, in time – I’ll be both director and choreographer. I need dancers for a company, or, prospective students!” His eyebrows raised, “You’re a dancer?” You smiled gently, “I didn’t think you knew a lot about ballet. That’s probably better for you.” “Ballet?” He shook his head, “I’m sorry. I- I wish I did. But, it’s artsy, I love the form and, pictures of ballerinas and dancers; that would be striking in any advert, let alone a ballet company. Which’d make sense. You still dance?” “Retired. Just…” You giggled gently, “Doug, I’m not just a dancer – to anyone in the circles I move in I’m the dancer. And now I’m at least semi-retired I want to give back to the profession.” You placed your hand over the portfolio; “I’ve seen your work, and it’s… incredible. Visually stunning and very well written. I know that my name is going to take this places… What I need is to partner with someone who doesn’t look at my name and have their eyes light up in dollar signs.” You pulled the folder off the counter and opened it, you were right, all his work was phenomenal, the way he used space, and colour – and he ran from comedic to serious; there wasn’t anything that Doug Peterson hadn’t covered. “You could have anyone.” “I don’t want anyone.” Your eyes met his again and for a moment the statement hung with more significance than you should have given it; “I want someone whose heart and soul comes alive on the page. Someone who is as passionate about what he writes, and what he visualises, as I am about the company and dancing.” You flipped the book around for him, “No corporation who would love to have my name on their client list would produce work like this, or care about it like you do. Which is exactly why I want you to do this, if you want to.” His nod was enthusiastic, “I mean, I might need a little help with the technicalities but, God, I’d love the challenge and the opportunity, Y/N.” First, he knew he’d have to look you up. He supposed everyone in the dancing community would know your name, and Doug would have to make it look like he did to. But research was always fun – and you’d give him all the support he needed. “Good, because I’d love to be the client of someone whose work is this amazing.” You passed the portfolio back, and held up your wine glass, “To our partnership, Doug Peterson.” “Yeah,” He clinked his to yours and smiled, “let’s make it a good one!”

You continued to talk, and Doug was almost disappointed that you acted so professionally. It was almost as if all the flirting was forgotten, although there was a sparkle in your eyes still, like it was hiding. However, he still admired that professionalism and, as you got to learn a little bit more about each other, he started to formulate ideas that he already couldn’t wait to mock up and show you. Doug still couldn’t help but flirt on occasion though; he liked the way you’d smile when he did it – he liked that you were actually interested in him, not just his work. Already he knew you’d be capable of great things together, and maybe not all of them would have to do with advertising. You both said goodbye far too soon, but you had each other’s cards and numbers. As he turned back at the door with a grin and said he already had a head of ideas, and he had to run before he forgot any of them, your heart actually skipped a beat. Doug couldn’t leave you without giving a wink, and took victory in the blush that crossed your cheeks before he strolled out of the restaurant. You gave it a few moments, watching him until he was out of sight before taking a deep breath and retreating back inside. Your friends were still sitting at the bar, by now finished with their own food, and both of them staring at you with raised eyebrows; “Tell me you knew!!” “I had NO idea I swear-!” You shook your head, “Was that mad-!? That was mad, right!? Does stuff like that really happen-!” “Typical of you though-!” “Thanks!” You blew out a breath and ran your hands through your hair; “…My god.” “You’re flushed!” “Thanks! I realised…!” You sat on the edge of one of the stools, “I haven’t felt like this since-” It wasn’t a thought you wanted, but an altogether incredible realisation. “So. He’s going to be your advertiser?” “Mhm!” You nodded, “He’s going home to mock up designs for me…” “Aw, c’mon, Y/N! Look atcha! What’s his name?!” You knew then as you turned to them and smiled, exactly what you were feeling; “Doug Peterson.” ***

You’d already got the studio set up, and a few other dancers - good friends of yours - were on your staff. Your current goal was the official opening, a couple of months away – hence the advertising project. It looked like a venture that’d been worked on long before you got Doug involved, the building largely refurbished and with a modern flare that offset your vintage look. He took photographs to get a good idea of what he was working with to meld with his mock ups – which you’d already seen and approved of. It didn’t take him very long to become more aware of you, and what Doug really wanted was you on the advertisement. “Is it cliché? I’d just like some classic ballet poses. Sure, I could just hire anyone – but it’d make more sense if it was you… even if it’s not your face.” Doug wasn’t so sure you wanted your face plastered on everything when your name already was. But you agreed to do it and he hired a photographer. He was well aware that he had feelings for you that maybe he shouldn’t. You were still his client at the end of the day and Doug wanted to keep it professional – but all he could think about was the way you’d been staring at him across the restaurant, and much as he tried he could never quite get it out of his head. All he wondered was if you had the same problem. Having you turn up to a photoshoot and watching the serene grace of classic ballet positions that Doug didn’t have a clue about until about a week previously – luckily, he’d hired a photographer who knew what they were talking about – was mesmerising; and he stood in flustered silence. By the time Doug was finished he assumed he was going to make a lot of people very happy at getting the opportunity to work with you. He walked you back to your car, explaining his admiration for your work and your strength, reeling off position names that made you quite proud. He liked that you were pleased that he’d studied you; at the cute way you giggled as he admitted just how much he’d researched. You started inviting him over to discuss ideas, and the first time Doug had pulled up in your driveway he’d been in awe of your house. Oddly humble for an ex-prima ballerina, and a little out in the country. It was also as modern as your studio had been, an upside-down house with stairs to the front door; “One day you’re going to have to explain why everything about you in modern aside from the way you dress!” Doug always did like that small mysterious smile you gave him, “Maybe I like that I’m hard to figure out…” You pondered it for a moment, before fixing him with the same significant look he was always giving you, “Having said that, maybe if you stick around for long enough you’ll answer your own question.” That was enough for him and in a more relaxed, and personal, setting as you got to know each other even better – professional was nearly thrown out the window. The entire campaign became a long string of endlessly flirty emails and texts, where often times one of you would have to throw in; ‘this is about the advert… right?’ The only response you ever gave to that was ‘Of course it is… or is it? 😉’ Which drove Doug crazy in every sense of the word. Yet his favourite place to be was with you, sitting up on your back veranda (which he also had to note overlooked a stunning valley) just throwing ideas around. Often you’d sit yourself on the wooden balustrade and ramble, with him lounging back in a chair with a sketch pad, and by the end of it he’d have filled up 5 or 6 pages with sketches or notes. But he was always back in time to collect Dillon from school, and didn’t overstay his welcome either. You’d keep him around if you could, but understood what was really important, even when all he told you was that he had to go and offered no further information. You knew private meant private and let him live that life. Before long he was showing you finalized drafts, and all that was left to do was pick which ones were going to print - on opening night flyers, or be seen all through the streets of Sydney. And that day made Doug dispirited – he didn’t want this to end so soon. “It’ll be weird not working with you on this…” “Oh?” You smiled, “What, you don’t think I’m going to call you every opportunity I get to have you do more advertising? I’ll need someone when we start doing shows and events.” He took his chance, with a confident deep breath; “Maybe you should just call me anyway?” You bit your lip gently, “Alright, maybe I will.” Although there was no maybe about it, you knew you would. You knew that was all you really wanted to do. You’d got closer and closer, and you felt comfortable around each other. Enough for you to finally be yourself; heck you’d even started dressing more relaxed around him. And one thing was for sure you couldn’t get the look he’d given you - and the way he’d swallowed hard - the first time you opened the door to him in shorts and a loose shirt, out of your head. Like you’d just stepped out of some kind of fantasy. A strange fantasy maybe, but then again you knew you were dressing down for him. You had both fallen pretty hard – even from that first restaurant conversation and you were certainly still falling for Doug now. For the first time in a while, you actually wanted to take a leap of faith with a guy. And it almost scared you how much you trusted him. *** Doug expected an invitation to opening night out of courtesy for the work he’d done. He could turn up and admire it for maybe an hour and then get back home. What he didn’t expect was a personal invitation from you, with a hand written note which left no doubt as to how much you needed him there and how much his hard work meant to you. In reality it was just a lot of words trying to express how much he meant to you. You weren’t so great at eloquence. You were trying to tell him that you couldn’t lose him, without sounding a little too desperate about it. As if you thought that was a possibility; like you didn’t recognise how much he swooned over you. Perhaps you still weren’t prepared to admit you knew he was interested – and Doug was just as hesitant. He didn’t want to rush into it, and yet he craved the intimacy of a relationship again. Even though he’d been divorced only months, it wasn’t like Ali and he had been close before it happened. He wanted someone to love him, but it wasn’t just a someone; he was still very iffy about the dating scene and he wasn’t about to go have a drunken one-night stand – he wanted that person to be you. Doug didn’t want to get hurt, yet, knew you’d be worth the risk. You looked stunning, and he had to physically stop to take you in for a moment. You always looked good, even when you were just sitting in shorts and a shirt with your hair pulled up – when, if the sun was on you for long enough, little freckles would start to appear across your face. Though that was an image he was probably privileged to see, Doug thought that was when you looked best. But your personality radiated warmth and light, and all he ever wanted was you closer. It went both ways – as you glanced across to him, dressed in a sharper suit than the one he’d been wearing when you first met and the smile that crossed his face as you caught his eye, Doug Peterson very nearly took your breath away. You excused yourself from the conversation you were having and crossed the room to him; knowing right then that you had to make this man yours – and you had to be his. Both of you blushed your way through the introductory conversation and you couldn’t help but turn to the room full of people admiring his work, because of course he’d put together designs and posters for some of your studio ideas too. And they were also on display, alongside photographs of the building’s transition; and some well-known images of your more famous roles. “Look at this-! It’s all you! And they all love it!” You couldn’t have looked happier, “I mean, I, I hope you’re proud of it.” “Yeah.” He agreed, feeding off your enthusiasm, “How many people can say they’ve had an opportunity like this? It’s…” Doug paused for a moment, “…Some of my best. Even I know that.” Then he turned back to you, “Thank you for the opportunity.” You shook your head, thinking it crazy that the designer should be thanking his client; “Thank you for making my crazy ideas a reality.” “Don’t mention it, it’s my job.” “Yeah but,” You turned back to the room, “you went above and beyond for me, I can never thank you enough.” He laughed, “At this rate, all you’re gonna do is thank me-!” “You’re right!” You joined his laugher, “But don’t expect me to stop on that account!” You spent your evening walking around the event with him, even when he thought excusing himself might give you time to breathe, to be the centrepiece you were meant to be. But you touched his arm gently to bring him back; “No, Doug, please… stay with me? I- I’d very much like it if you stayed with me tonight.” So he did, as you introduced him around, even when you were doing press you kept him near (except when he wandered to get drinks – and on a couple of occasions was accosted by those that wanted him to take on their advertising campaigns!), and made sure he got the credit whenever anyone gave you kudos for his work. How he’d simply take the compliment and give one to you in turn, and for a moment all you could do was look at each other and recognise the pink dusting your cheeks. Eventually Doug took a leap, even if it could have been of liquid confidence considering the champagne being served, and during one of these compliment sessions he reached out and took your hand. You didn’t pull away from him, you didn’t even flinch, instinctively lacing your fingers with his. That’s how you stayed for the rest of the night, with your smile even sweeter than it was before. And Doug got to stand beside you and watch his effect on you; hyperfixating on how it felt to have your fingers entwined with his – smiling so much his face hurt? You best believe it. After everything wound down, and Doug started to watch check (only because he thought the babysitters bill was going to be astronomical by now), you began to reflect on not just the evening, but the past few months. You got the feeling that you were going to be one of those couples that didn’t even have to say you were together – that you just would be, by mutual agreement. You collected your things and he held out his hand for yours again as you left, this time you held him tighter – desperate to savour every moment you got to be touched by him. “Some night, huh?” “Amazing. Now I guess the real work begins for me…” You chuckled, “I couldn’t have done it without the hard graft from you. I’m just glad it’s all been worth it.” “You can say that again.” Doug breathed it, eyes raised to the night sky and the stars glinting there, knowing that he hardly meant the campaign at all. You turned to him, to watch the way the stars reflected perfectly in his eyes and your heart swelled for a moment; how in the hell were you here? How did you just happen across this man? Nothing in your entire life had worked out this perfectly – so why him, and why now? And why in God’s name were you asking so many questions-!? He turned to you and the way you were looking at him, and slowed his walking pace; thinking it was about time he took that second leap. For some reason you were thinking too hard and didn’t even see it coming, as he leant in. You got so caught up that your question of what are you doing? also went unvoiced before his lips were on yours. And you wouldn’t deny him that either. Keeping your hand in his, you wrapped your other arm around his neck to practically beg him to keep kissing you. That gave Doug enough confidence to wind his arm around your waist to pull you closer. Neither of you wanted to stop, and yet it continued to get late and he knew that he really had to go. Breaking the kiss gently he kept close to you, and as your eyes met again you knew you were right. Together. No words necessary. *** It was late evening when your phone alerted you to a text message; ‘You home?’ You weren’t sure where else Doug expected you to be, so you told him you were. ‘Wanna come down to Js?’ J’s was a bar in downtown Sydney. Your eyes flicked to the time again, you could probably get down there in 30 minutes. ‘Sure, give me 30, are you okay?’ ‘I just don’t wanna drink alone.’ That was fair enough, but you could read him well enough to know there was something much more to it than that. When you arrived, Doug was clearly already a few glasses into a heavy night, and you just ordered whatever he was drinking – which turned out to be some pretty strong whisky. You waited for him to come to you with whatever it was, because you knew the real reason you were here wasn’t drinking. Doug took a deep breath; “Look I… I’ve just been thinking…” Thinking and drinking had never been a good combination, but right now it was your turn to listen to him, and only speak when your advice was wanted. You nodded in encouragement, and he took another sip. “I just- When we hang out we’re always out. You know, either in town like this, or at your place, or around where you live, but I…” he paused, “I think you probably deserve to know why, I just-” You lay your hand on his arm and rubbed affectionate circles, unsure why he’d think it mattered to you. Maybe he lived with friends, or he rented a one room place downtown, maybe he was embarrassed about such things – he knew how much you cared about him, right? Doug knew that you’d never judge a person on anything other than their own merit; or perhaps you just hadn’t made that clear. You were starting to want to kick yourself if that was ever the impression you’d given this sweet man. “Doug, whatever you tell me it’s going to be okay; I promise.” “Is it?” Though he seemed to be questioning himself more than you, “I mean you hear about things happening like this with single mums, but-” for a second you were caught a little off guard, because it seemed so out of left field for him to say. Suddenly you realised where he was going with this; Doug was in fact the single parent. “I mean, I live with my young son. So, I… I’m a single father just trying to figure this out. I- I mean I didn’t think I’d find someone as special as you so soon, and I-” He hesitated again. Stumbling over his words he threw back the glass, and you were glad the bar was dingy because you were positive that you were glowing as bright as a neon light now, “I just can’t bear the thought of losing you.” You shook your head slowly, “You can stop worrying about that right now.” You squeezed his arm gently, “I won’t leave over something like that, Doug, not ever. Sure, there’s a lot that comes with it but… God, I promise you. I’m sorry you ever had to come down here and worry about something like that!” He was staring at you almost in awe, like there was no way you could be saying this to him. And you wondered what that was, the alcohol? But something had driven him here to think it in the first place – and you found yourself with more questions you wished you could ask, but didn’t want to get too deep with: Who hurt you? Instead you opted for something to follow up what he’d already said; “Do you mind me asking what happened to her?” Doug had used the word single after all, and it was pretty recent you could pick up on that; “And, what’s his name?” “Dillon.” You smiled, that was a sweet name and you made sure to say that too, making Doug laugh. “As for Ali… Well… She cheated on me with my best friend. So, we got divorced.” You were stunned into silence for another moment, that Doug would just out and say it, but the look on his face and bluntness in his voice told you he wasn’t playing. Perhaps the whisky had a part in that; “…What… the… oh my god I’m so sorry-!” “I have sole custody of him and she’s got visitation rights, and that’s the way it goes.” You shook your head, finding yourself inexplicably mad – that explained that lack of ring you’d been curious about, though; “Okay this… this could be seriously crossing the line here – but what a freakin’ bitch! And oh my god, what an asshole – Doug, honey, you can do so much better…” you leant on the bar, wishing that you could find something better to say, “I mean you have me now. And thank god. Geez, babe, that sucks.” He stared at the bar for a second, and then propped his head up, hand on his brow – and suddenly Doug Peterson was pouring out months of history to you. How him and Ali didn’t even seem to be working anymore, but of course he wanted to hold on for his son, he wanted to believe there was still love there because he sure as hell still loved her at the time. And heck, maybe he should have known. But how he’d only ever been suspicious at the barbeque that one time and it all came to a head one weekend, when he caught them having phone sex, of all things. It was a hard thing to hear anyone say, let alone him. How he kept using the word ‘maybe’. Maybe I wasn’t around enough, maybe I was too focused on work, maybe I didn’t love her enough, maybe I didn’t try hard enough... You hated that it was so conditional and uncertain. “Baby,” You touched him reassuringly again, “if you have to use the word ‘maybe’ then she never told you, which means there wasn’t any communication. She didn’t even try to help you understand, she just went and did it. It is in no way your fault, or anything you ever did wrong. It was clearly more than once and he could have told her no! There’s no moment of weakness - it was continuous. Baby, you got out of there quick and I’m proud of you for having the strength to do that.” You found yourself not only hating two people you’d never met, but wanting to drive to wherever the hell they were and give them a piece of your mind. But there was so much else he was really telling you, and you had to stop him before he got to deep. In case he started saying things he’d end up regretting; before he was ready to say them. Instead you took him in your arms and pulled him closer; “Doug it doesn’t matter to me – who you are, or what’s going on, or why. Baby… I just know that I love you. For the first time in so long I actually… love someone.” You stoked a hand through his hair, kissing it, “And I promise, I’m going to love you better than she ever did.” You couldn’t help your small gasp, the joy in your heart as his arms wrapped around you, “I’m just so sorry this ever happened to you. Because no one deserves this.” “Maybe I do.” “Don’t you dare.” That only made you hold him tighter, “Whatever you’ve done does not warrant the betrayal of your wife and your best friend. You have your company now, and your life, and me, and more importantly than that, your son…” You continued to card your hand through his hair; “Which, really, warrants the only other question I have left.” “Which is?” He looked up at you curiously, and you grinned, “When do I get to meet Dillon?” *** He gave it a few weeks to settle; both the new information and for Doug to solicit with his son that he was seeing someone new. Of course, he’d told Dillon of your existence – especially seen as he liked to show his son what he was working on - but Doug wanted him to be alright with the idea of the two of you together before he brought you over. All it prompted from his son was questions, and Doug realised as he spoke about you, just how much he enjoyed talking about you – and the way even just thinking about you made him feel. Suddenly it wasn’t too early at all – it was all just perfect timing. He was meant to find something better, and he finally had. So when you did arrive on his doorstep right on time for dinner, dressed in pretty vintage as ever, all Doug Peterson did was fall in love all over again. “You look good.” “Aw!” You accepted his kiss, “Well, I could tell you I didn’t buy this outfit just to meet your son but… I’d probably be a liar…” You studied him for a minute, soft dark purple shirt and smart pants with his sleeves rolled up; Doug had brushed up nicely. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” “Ah! Well you know, good first impressions and all that.” He led the way through to the kitchen, “Right this way…” admittedly you were impressed with the house too, it was comfortable, and you instantly felt at home. “…Don’t trip over the child.” You were about to ask exactly what he meant; only lying in front of the oven was a 7 (though as he would say later “nearly eight!!”) year old kid. Doug raised an eyebrow at you, “Apparently it helps cookies bake faster, and who am I to argue with that logic.” “Cookies?” You were a little amused “Yeah. We, well, he wanted to make you cookies, so we made you cookies.” “Aw.” “Only we lost track of time trying to decide what dinner was gonna be, so they’re still baking. Hey, Dillon, I know you want them perfect but you should really meet the lady they’re for, huh?” At this Dillon leapt from the floor and turned to you, face immediately lighting up, “Y/N!” “Hey, Dillon!” You crouched slightly as he ran to you for a hug; “I’m sorry they aren’t done! Dad said we had time-” “Would be my fault.” Doug scoffed folding his arms. “-So we don’t have time to ice them.” “Oh, that’s okay.” You smiled, “It’s very sweet of you to make them for me – thank you!” You nodded back to the oven, “Go on, you go make sure they’re perfect.” He returned your smile sweetly, “Thank you!” and resumed his position on the kitchen floor. Doug shook his head, “Have you ever heard of putting icing on chocolate chip cookies, though?” You laughed, “First time for everything-!” “God help us. Now, wine?” “I would love a glass, thank you.” Whilst the cookies were left to cool, the three of you sat down to dinner – apparently the two of them were very into cooking. “It’s the new hobby – if we aren’t outside playing soccer, its in the kitchen cooking.” - which meant they’d made the meal together - “Well, I’m not irresponsible!” Doug explained, “He did the easy bits, you know.” That only made you laugh, as if you thought he would be an irresponsible parent at all. Also, Dillon seemed a little disgruntled at being discredited by his dad. But he liked telling you about all his favourite things, which only made Doug beam at how much interest you took; So who is your favourite team?... OH! Yeah, no, they’re doing pretty good this year!... What’s your favourite school subject?… Oh man, that sounds hard I don’t think I could do that… But Dillon was also interested in you; “Dad said you were a dancer.” “I retired, yeah. I mean I’ll probably still do a little here and there, but my prima-ballerina days are over.” “He showed me pictures; it looks very difficult.” “It takes a lot of practice, that’s for sure, a little like your soccer does. Same kinda strength involved but in a different way.” “But I thought retirement was for old people?” Doug gave him a look, “Dillon.” “No – It’s okay! 35 is ‘old’ for a dancer, you know? We do a lot of practicing and rehearsals, and then sometimes it’s two shows a day! Then there’s touring… It takes a lot out of your body.” Dillon’s eyes flicked between you and Doug; “So you’re the boss here.” “What-!?” Doug folded his arms and narrowed his eyes slightly at the logic (or lack there of). “She’s the oldest, that makes her the boss.” Seemed logical. You looked to Doug, and winked “HA! I’m the boss.” But this sweet family banter continued on through dinner, and dessert – although apparently the cookies were for an undisclosed time of later - and honestly you didn’t think you’d ever had such a good time on a date ever. Here you were getting two cuties for the price of one date, whether they knew that or not. They were so alike it was highly amusing for you to watch them joke with each other or bicker; all it left you realising was you’d lucked on an incredible thing. You weren’t sure you knew many people who had dated someone with kids. And although you’d never planned on ending up in such a situation yourself, you thought that those who never had were missing out. It got later and later, and to the point where you thought you should really be heading off; “No, no, it’s okay, you don’t have to go. We have a spare room – and I’m a little worried about how much you’ve drunk and I could never. Stay, it’s fine, you can stay over!” “Oh no, I should go home.” You’d been paying attention to your drink intake and you knew you’d be fine, although it was sweet of him to offer. But Doug took your hand, his eyes very nearly pleading with you; “Please stay, for us.” “We want you to stay, Y/N, pleeeeeeeeease?” You looked across the table to Dillon, surprised to hear his voice; killed instantly by the fact that they were both giving you the same look. “How… how am I supposed to deal with both of you-!?” That didn’t make things any easier, and you couldn’t help but break, with a smile; “Okay, okay… I’m going to stay.” “AH!” Doug turned and they high-fived each other; “We got her, bud!” And you meant it. You were going stay, and you were going to be his, and only his. You were never going to let either of them get hurt again – and that you were going to promise. *** “So, do you want to watch something. Cuz, I figure the cookies aren’t gonna wanna be eaten alone, you know we need a movie or something.” You laughed, leaning on your hand, “That sounds like a good suggestion, Mr.Peterson.” Doug’s smile was bashful, but he turned to Dillon, “You go and pick one, mate!” Immediately the little boy scrambled from his seat and ran off into another room. “We have a wall of movies; I think you’ll like it.” “Oh really?” You had to admit he’d piqued your interest. “Yeah. He’ll only pick the same one I’ve been forced to watch 300 times this week – don’t worry, I won’t give you spoilers…” He tipped back on his chair and, making sure that Dillon wasn’t coming back any time soon, Doug took your hand, running his thumb affectionately over the back of it, “Hey, you’re doing really well. I know he like’s asking a lot of questions but, thank you for interacting with him like this it… means a lot.” “Are you kidding?” You were beaming, “Dillon’s adorable!” You tilted your head, “A little like his dad.” “Oh, okay,” Doug chuckled, but you could already see the blush rising in his cheeks, “you stop!” You felt yourself smirk a little, “Maybe you should kiss me to make sure I do.” Doug’s blue eyes turned suddenly playful; “Heck, I’m just gonna kiss you anyway.” And so he leant across, brushing his lips to yours, and tasted just as sweet as he was. Your kiss was only slightly interrupted by the sound of Dillon running back into the room and you broke apart to turn to him; “THIS is my favourite!” He held it out for you to see, and the look on Doug’s face told you that this was indeed the movie he’d seen 300 times. “That’s cool with me!” “Awesome.” Doug pushed out his chair and stood, “Dillon go set it up, I’ll clear up.” “Don’t forget the cookies!” “I won’t forget your cookies…” Then he nodded to the couch, “Go on, you go relax.” “I want to help.” “Nuh uh, you’re the guest, sit down-!” “Alright…” You held up your hands, which only made him cackle and turn back to his son, “See! She’s the boss my ass-!” You couldn’t help shaking your head after him, and allowing your eyes to flick down his body as he walked away, folding your arms; “You better be careful with that cute ass-!” Doug halted almost immediately and spun back to you, a little blushy and his mouth open; it was clear that his protest was ‘there’s a child present!!!’ but that he also knew full well he had started it. And to his credit, you didn’t see him complaining with your flirt. Once he’d cleared away Doug joined you on the couch. Winding his arm around you as you cuddled into him, and placed the cookies on the coffee table before offering you one. “They’re Dillon’s special recipe, so, all compliments to the chef.” You bit into one and couldn’t help the groan of appreciation, the consistency was just right for your taste – and so, compliments did indeed go to the chef. Dillon beamed at your praise, before he took a couple for himself and lay down on the floor again – Doug rolled his eyes. “Well, I thought getting him to sit to the table properly for ya was too good to be true.” That only made you giggle, “Aw, let him be a kid!” “You won’t say that later when he’s climbing all over you, I can tell ya!” That wasn’t necessarily true, but eventually Dillon did get bored of lying on the floor and pulled himself up onto the couch to sit between the two of you, opting to shuffle his body into the perfect position so that you could still cuddle. You and Doug shared the same ‘Oh! Okay!’ look of significance, before Doug pulled him onto his lap properly, “C’mere!” and in that position you all stayed for the remainder of the film. But Dillon did reach for your hand, and for a moment your breath caught – if there was one thing you didn’t expect from tonight, it was for Doug’s kid to just love you. For a moment you welled up and Doug definitely caught that, pulling you closer before kissing your hair – the significance was just as great for him after all. Doug couldn’t have wished for a better start to his new life. As the credits rolled Doug tapped his son; “Alright you, it’s way past your bedtime!” “No!” “No?! I’ll show you no! Come on-! Bed, now. You’re lucky you’ve been allowed to stay up this long! Be good and say goodnight.” Doug slipped himself off the couch, allowing Dillon to hug you tight; “But dad, I’ll miss her---!” Doug placed his hands on his hips and tried his best not to look exasperated; “Mate, c’mon, you’ll see her again in the morning.” “Ohhh…” Dillon pouted before hugging you again, “Goodnight, Y/N…” “Goodnight Dillon, thank you for dinner, and the incredible cookies!” He beamed once more, “Thank you! You may have the rest, dad’s not allowed any.” Doug sighed, before picking him up, “She’s dating me mate, I’m sure I can wrangle at least one more out of her! Now come on-!” By this time Dillon was giggling, “See you in the morning, Y/N!” “I said that!” “Just making sure she heard ya!” Doug grinned, which only made you smile, and joke with him “Oh thank god, this one might last long enough for me to see him again!” “Shut up! Don’t you be cheeky! I get enough from him-!” But he laughed and leant down to kiss you once more. *** Once Dillon was tucked up in bed, Doug rejoined you on the couch for another few glasses of wine, cradling your body close to his as every so often he would kiss your face and your hair. He was happy and relieved that you and his son got along, as you were amazed that Dillon liked you as much as he did; overjoyed in fact. Really tonight couldn’t have gone much better; and as you sat together talking, late evening ticked into early morning and you both agreed that you should probably get some sleep before the sun rose. As he also warned you that Dillon would be dragging you out of bed for breakfast as soon as he was able. He handed you a bundle of towels and blankets and some toiletries; “Spare room is down there… it has an en suite so you should be fine. Is there anything else you need?” “uhm, if I could borrow a shirt, or…” A cocky smirk crossed his face; “I mean, I didn’t think I’d get to see you in my clothes this early in the relationship, but…” You smacked his arm, “Stop!” “I’ll get you one, go get ready.” “If you’re trying to prove that I’m not the boss…” You gave him an accusatory look He held his hands up, “Oh I wouldn’t dream of it, my ass has been threatened enough!” You nodded as you walked up the corridor, and called back – “At least you know what’s good for ya… damn, you do have a nice ass though!” He didn’t say anything, but the silence told you everything, and Doug Peterson was a nice shade of red as he watched you disappear into the room. When you’d finished getting ready you opened the door to a soft dark grey shirt left on the end of the bed, which you slipped into, folding all your clothes neatly and placing them on the chair you decided to go wandering in search of a goodnight kiss, and say thank you of course, they really didn’t have to ask you to stay. His bedroom door was open when you arrived at, and you knocked politely “Oh! Hey! You alright?” Your immediate answer was probably no, considering he was shirtless – and your body’s reaction to that made you feel like you were about 20 years younger. “Yeah, I was just going to come and say goodnight.” By now Doug’s eyes were tracing you; it was big on him so it didn’t exactly reveal much – but it was still you in his clothing, and just a shirt – so your legs were on show, and damn, as a dancer… He blew out an audible breath and quite forgot where his train of thought was leading. Probably to a goodnight, but it wasn’t anymore. You bit your lip, knowing you were both just staring at each other; he had a good physique, and clearly looked after himself – you already got the feeling he ate well and it wouldn’t surprise you if he worked out, especially if Dillon was into sports. But this man was looking at you, and you weren’t about to shy away from that, in fact right now that was the last thing on your mind. “What… what if I didn’t sleep in the spare room?” Doug swallowed hard and his eyes met yours. By the time that happened there was a confident smile on his face; “If it’s any consolation, I’m glad you suggested it first.” You didn’t know if you were supposed to tell him how good it felt for his arms to be around you and his body to be this close to you; the way his fingertips brushed in patterns over your arms that very nearly soothed you to sleep. Doug wasn’t sure he was supposed to tell you how happy he was to get to hold you and not have to think of anything else, the shape of your body curved into his – his bed just not being empty. But you – he got to share it with you, and even now he hoped he’d not have to share it with anyone else. He turned to lay on his back for a moment, a little overcome with a whole lot of different emotions, some of which he’d rather not let you know about; but he kept one arm under you. That could well have been a fatal mistake, because you knew exactly why he’d do something like that; and you could hear the shallow breaths he was taking. Doug was tense even if he was trying to relax. Oh…Doug… Is that how you feel, baby? But it only made you smirk, because that feeling was mutual. And all you wanted to do was tell him that; tracing your fingers over his as he lay still, you shuffled slightly, to take his hand in yours. “I feel so small when you wrap your arms around me…” It was quiet, almost like a muse that you hadn’t meant to slip out, but of course you had. You rolled your body to free his arm, shirt riding up just enough, and you guided Doug’s hand over you, gazing your skin. You turned your head and although he was staring at the ceiling you made sure to look right at him, eyes and voice equally seductive. “I never thought I would meet someone that gets me so damn hot…” He stiffened and for a minute it was like he couldn’t breathe, but he was also struggling hard to keep the biggest smirk from creeping across his face, as you lowered your voice to a sultry whisper “I want your hands on me. I want your eyes on me. I want all of you…” Doug’s fingers were below your stomach now, and you were dangerously close to getting away with this, before he turned his head – his eyes were wide and alert - but his whole face read intrigued; “Holy shit! You’ve got a mouth on ya-!” You knew exactly why he was saying that, and why his hand was no longer going to move without his say so. Doug wanted to be in control of this; but also, God YES did he want you to talk dirty to him. It was so far removed from the sweet, polite, proper, almost innocent look and tone you usually used that it just turned him on. You smirked at him, biting your lip gently as you traced your eyes from his lips to his eyes and back again; “Oh, maybe you should blame yourself… And put it to good use.” Doug chuckled, “Well get over here then.” But you had no choice in that either, as he pulled you into him. Maybe you’d be fighting over this ‘boss’ thing for a while. He did let you initiate the kiss though, running your hands through his hair as he wound his arms around you. You guessed his clothes weren’t really going to be staying on you very long. His lips traced to your jaw line and your neck as his hands eased his shirt up your body; and Doug got his first sigh out of you, which only made him want to work for more of them. And you were alright with that, because all you wanted him to do was kiss your entire body. You craved his lips back on yours and pulled him back to you – if he wanted control you were going to make him work for it. Doug growled gently in response, knowing that, but also being more than up for the challenge, as his hands came to rest on your hips. You broke the kiss for a moment, forehead to his, but your eyes and your body was already telling him everything he needed to know. But you whispered it, like a prayer that would go unanswered if you didn’t; “I really need you right now…”

---

Thank you SO much for reading! 🙏🙊💜

#OKay... can I just... the GIF...? Oh... boi....#Doug Peterson #Ben Mendelsohn #Secret Mens Business #Doug Peterson x Reader #152 #Linzi Writes #Smol Bean Drabbles #Nea Edevane #Okay first off I love her. I L O V E H E R #Team 10K #He is... he really is something else #and he's gone from /I don't like this because I cant categorise him!!!/#to 10000 words-!?!#That's more than just a 180 thats C R A Z Y #Who is ready for Andy's wedding-!?#Because that's where were heading next lads-!#(And was really what this was supposed to lead into but then I just went off... so here you are!)#Top 3 Mendo. He thoroughly deserves a place in my top 5.

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levyfiles · 6 years ago

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helloooo!!!! since you are my fave blog about shyan content, i must ask: what are your favorite fics???

AHhh! I–OK well, Lately I’ve been finding more and more fics that fill my heart right up with every gorgeous headcanon there is, but If we’re talking all-time favourites, I have finally compiled a List from the moment I started reading shyan fic in 2018 of fics that have ruined my life; all of them here in no particular order.

Be All My Sins Remembered by spoopyy

Summary: In every lifetime, they find each other.

Review: This fic manages to take you on a long journey through what feels like a series of AUs and they all weave in and out of the wealth of their relationship with some vivid descriptions of the historical settings their journey takes them through. As someone who grew up reading Anne Rice’s epics through historical events, this fic is right up my alley. A vampire Shane passing through the wave of human society’s climb searching for a reincarnated Ryan again and again, trying to hold on to him and keep him through great tragedies and timeframes that just don’t let them be together. This was one of the first fics I read when I was only a lurker and to be quite honest, I need to give this one a nice re-read, maybe for the book club which would be loads of fun. Either way, 10/10. Would be Hurt in the heart again.

Perfect Fit by @beaniegara

Summary: There’s a legend that says anyone able to take all of statue Shane’s cock will summon the god to the mortal realm. Given the statue’s excessive size, no one has ever succeeded to prove or disprove the story.Until Ryan that is.

Review: Listen. You wanna talk actual fandom legends. This fic is one of them and it pulls out all the stops on being delicious and evocative. Also features one of my favourite incarnations of size queen bergara. Good stuff and you’re really rooting for Ryan in this lol.

Everything’s Weird and We’re Always in Danger by the beethechange

Summary: Ryan perches on the edge of the bed, an indistinct shape that Shane can only just make out in the dark, so he turns the lamp back on. He wants to see Ryan’s face, wants to know that he is alright. Ryan’s cheeks are damp, his hands fisted in the hideous flowered duvet.

“It won’t go away,” Ryan says miserably. “I’ve been like this since we got here, basically, and it won’t fucking—”

“Ah,” Shane says. “Well, you know, sometimes fear…adrenaline…they can affect people. Physically.” He waves his hands indistinctly crotchward. “It’s a, a scientifically known phenomenon.” Shane feels a little better staying in the realm of scientifically known phenomena.

Review: Word of advice. You see a fic is authored by beethechange, run don’t walk because you’re absolutely always going to be treated to the best of banter, the best of prose, chemistry, organic execution and feels right up the bottom end of your heart. This fic, this changed everything I thought I knew I wanted out of a bed-sharing fic. It’s got a little bit of two treats here. You got a sex-pollen-esque situation mixed with bed-sharing and holy fucking damn that is more than you think you deserve, but read this because you do deserve the best of the best. The build up, the dialogue, the surprisingly hilarity of it, the hotness woah, and The Aftermath. When you think you know what you’re in for, you’re wrong and you’re most pleasantly surprised. Get this fic in your life and honestly? while you’re at it, you could do a clean sweep of every fic in her list of works and while my less than adequate reading time management may still be short on some of her most well-recommended pieces, I have an adamant faith that Bee doesn’t disappoint. Go get y’all juice.

Maelstrom by thewindupbird

Summary: Here’s the thing about driving halfway across the country to see someone. You can’t really deny, after that, that you’re pretty much head over heels for them.

Review: Listen. One morning on a day off, I just laid in bed and read this– all 40k+ words– while lying there clutching my pillows, hurting and loving every moment of it. The descriptions of Americana, the slow steady metronome rhythm of Ryan’s feelings as frightened and helpless as they feel when you’re relating deeply to them juxtaposed with the deep-seated struggle of understanding what it is to be with someone you love so much but your mental health is burning quiet holes in your ability to express it in a way that can be understand. Ryan’s fierce determination, breaking through the silence of their non communication is really Everything to me in this fic. i think I really left my heart in the scene in Shane’s parents kitchen. That finished me. Read this fic and understand the deep relief you get when you’ve finished a fight with someone you fiercely care about and they understand you and you understand them and it’s OK; it’s gonna be all right. Augh.

A Burial on Box Hill by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: The Celtics believed that the yew flower symbolized both immortality and death. Meanwhile, for centuries, the buxus flower was seen as a symbol for safe passage into the afterlife.

Or,Shane and Ryan were never the same after investigating the Black Forest of Germany alone.

Review: Let me just quote my bookmark comment here. Usually I flee from tragedy like a cat spotting a cucumber but the brevity and the prose dragged me in and now I’m a functioning mess. Bless this fic. Oh my god it’s short and reads like one of those quick horror stories you’ll read to your friends just as the scary stories are transitioning from the urban legends to the ones that feel real. Big warning for main character death but still read it if you appreciate a good story told.

Body Farming by shiphitsthefan

Summary: Failed suppressants and a surprise heat: the worst of cliches, and here Ryan stands, living the trope on location with the alpha he’s hopelessly in love with. Even worse, they’re spending the night in the famous Bell Witch Cave, completely alone and with no way to contact the outside world.

Ryan knows he can survive and keep his preheat a secret, as long as Shane will stop being so protective and concerned. After all, it’s not like Shane wants to bond with him.

Right?

Review: Now judging from the reactions of many people I’ve spoken to, big heavy ABO kink is not popular here but guys, GUYS. This one. Let this one in I promise it is not what you think it is. The dynamic is organic and the worst side of the trope is subverted in all the best ways and lord help us, the smut is hot, like swelteringly smoking. It’ll stay with you.

Believer by cellard00rs

Summary: Some demons and otherworldly creatures love climbing up the power ladder. Shane is not one of these. He likes where he is (thank you very much) and has no interest in moving up. All he wants is to give his friend Ryan a nice birthday gift. So, naturally, everything goes to hell.

Review: This fic is another fandom legend. When I think demon!Shane. It’s this and one other one that always pops right into my mind. This was my first exposure to the bureaucracy meets the supernatural!Shane trope and I was sold from the get-go. The Shane in this fic is everything I imagine a demon!Shane is and his ginger care for Ryan, the concept of their bond and how even though Shane is a demon and responsible for keeping the supernatural a firm secret from Ryan and the rest of the world, his skepticism is relayed through his status as a demon. I want to talk more about it but I think so much of the enjoyment comes from the surprises as the plot unfurls.

Heartbeat by quackers

Summary: So the guy Ryan sits next to at work is a vampire. That’s no big deal, right?

Review: I could talk your literal ear off about this fic. Vampires, man. I love the trope; you don’t know me as a person if you don’t know this at least. And this fic kept me fed all damn year. It was a readable garden. If there is one thing I can guarantee about quackers’ work, it’s that their world-building is a festival of detail. The realms and alternate universes they work with while still managing to keep Shane and Ryan’s voices so familiar and real is a talent not attributed to your everyday author. This fic propelled me into wanting to write more and more because quackers makes stories so much fun! Reading their work is, to me, not unlike the feeling I got when I was younger and finding series that speak to my need to escape this crummy existence, made me want to believe in fun spicy things like a vampire that lived through centuries, cynical but still searching, navigating a world where people are still people, adjusting to differences and prejudices, finding comfort in a guy that understands that and more. I’ve talked about this fic in more than a few different posts so I’d just be reiterating a lot of things I loved about the more historical aspects of Shane’s journey, the way Ryan is so firmly curious and inventive in ways to connect with Shane. Look, even if vampires aren’t your thing, I can promise that if you visit quackers list of work, you will find something for your supernatural-lovin’ palate that speaks to a gentler side of your own curiosity about monsters and the jocks that love them. lol.

I’ll Crawl Home by carrieonfighting

Summary: “Shane was almost unnerved by how quickly he’d settled into this body, this name, this life - his friendship with Ryan was the most time he’d spent with any human before, and yet the man fascinated him.”

Review: This is the second fic I think of when someone says the words ‘demon!Shane’ to me because ohhhh my word, this fic is a masterpiece. I really am hard pressed to find anything better than the feeling I get when I think of demon!Shane headcanons interwoven with the irl Buzzfeed reality and the idea of the Ryan as we know him being protected and watched and loved so deeply by a demon that found him so long ago and wanted nothing but to protect him. I feel an almost vicious glee reliving that moment when Ryan and Shane are on goatman’s bridge and man, I just really love canonical fic mixed with a slight twist. The writing in this makes it work so well with lines that still haunt my heart and soul like “Ryan liked popcorn. So did the demon. Genuinely, not just out of a desire to please the human – he liked the way it crunched between his vessel’s teeth. There were some aspects of taking a corporeal form that were…nice; laughing, coffee, feeling warm. Ryan made him laugh.” FUCK! The beautiful agony of it, watching the demon fall in love with Ryan through the eyes of his vessel. Just stark with pain and unspoken, well-written angst and pain with a perfect ending, I wouldn’t change for anything. I love this for us as a fandom and will always love that author crafted this piece and shared it with us. (Also every time I hear Work Song by Hozier, I think of this fic again and sigh).

Like I said at the beginning, thanks to @skepticbeliever-bookclub I’ve been discovering and re-discovering some fics I hadn’t had the chance to read and or have never even heard of before and my bookmarks list is growing with each new week. So if you get through this list and need more in your life, here you go. Every fic in my bookmarks deserves the community’s attention. If I can just make one special request of you guys? If you do happen to click any of these and enjoy what you read, please take the time and tell the author what you loved about it. It really changes the game out here for fanworks and fan-creators like you wouldn’t even believe and the people who shared these works with us worked hard to make the stories what they are and put a great deal of emotional investment in sharing it. Share more than your silence in return.

Hope you find something you like here, nonnybabe..

#shyan fic #shyan #skeptic believer #recs #love tag #Anonybae

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snowstcrm · 5 years ago

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I'll never forgive the snowballing online hate of TLJ. A bunch of angry man babies were screeching because the shitty fan theories they came up with for specifically Luke and Rey were wrong. They desperately wanted to attribute Rey's existence in the story to a man and they were expecting Luke to be a Jesus that could do no wrong (even though JJ set up Luke to have cut off everyone in TFA already).

They set their theories in stone before walking into the theater, so finding out that Rey's parents really were just assholes (because we all were already saying that no "good guy" character would abandon their daughter) and that Luke made some grave mistakes that caused him to cut himself off from the force (when Luke has always shown struggles with the dark side).

Both of these things made SENSE. I saw people complaining how it walked over what TFA set up but it DIDNT. It worked with it and delivered actual storylines that were interesting.

TLJ gave all of its characters storyline and growth and flaws. I actually enjoyed Poe's character in TLJ when I had previously believed he should have died as he was supposed to in TFA. Finn was developing a story separate from Rey and was bonding with people and helping plant seeds of hope to the young children of the galaxy. Rose was a lovely addition that become the scapegoat for fanboy hatred. She showed that "just a normal" person with no high position could still accomplish things and be part of the great fight. Luke showed that even heroes are human and his shame of even thinking about killing his innocent nephew because the force was influencing him made him cut himself off from it. His death was also beautiful. I heard people complain about how he wasn't actually there so it was disappointing, but I couldnt understand that at all. Luke was force projecting himself across the galaxy into the minds of all the thousands of people there. It was the greatest display of force abilities and he was able to accomplish what he needed to do without violence. He made peace with his past mistakes, connected with the Force again and became one with it. It was so damn beautiful.

The movie of course also gave depth to Ben and Rey's dynamic, exploring the interesting concept of a force bond. Seeing two characters that were introduced as enemies being pulled towards each other, seeing their futures entwined was the best part of the movie. Even the people that hated it for various reasons didnt have much to say about this aspect of it.

I also will never forgive JJ for throwing Rian under the bus after the fanboy backlash when JJ was an EXECUTIVE PRODUCER on TLJ. The movie ultimately needed his approval to pass onto the big screen. After the movie started receiving bandwagon hate he removed himself from the equation and tried to act like the good guy who will please fans with TROS and it's disgusting amount of fanservicey nostalgia and TLJ retconning.

Im not saying the movie was PERFECT but the amount of hatred it received was unwarranted. I hope everyone that had shit to say about TLJ is happy with the trainwreck that is TROS. The movie tried so desperately to retcon TLJ that it wasted time and became something so much worse than if they were to take what TLJ built and follow through with it with some improvements.

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florrickandassociates · 6 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 3x07-- The One Where Diane and Liz Topple Democracy

Yes I’m still writing these

“Admit it. You like having me here. I mean, you didn’t think you would. But then, gradually, you realize that Blum is like a shot in the arm,” Blum tells the viewers. I mean, the partners. But he’s definitely talking to the viewers. See, we are supposed to ENJOY him. We’re supposed to find his terribleness cute and endearing. We’re supposed to be captivated by him. Here’s the thing: I’m not. I just want him to go away and stop being loud, which is how I have felt from the second he first opened his mouth. And when he was silent and I didn’t know how loud he’d be? I still wanted him to go away.

Does Blum work better than most of the past attempts at Blum-like figures? Yes. He’s leaps and bounds better! Is he still an annoying ass pest? HELL FUCKING YES.

Blum compliments the partners on being “clean” and “articulate” because he’s racist and wants everyone to know it. It’s cute!! So cute and charming!!

Why are the partners having an end of the year meeting? Is it the end of their fiscal year? Is it December? I want to know.

Blum attributes a Machiavelli quote to Martin Luther King Jr, which is actually kind of hilarious. Even if I don’t like him I can appreciate when they write him well.

Blum decides he’s joining the firm and the partners ask for time to confer. Marissa is still wasting her time following him around.

Liz calls Blum a cancer and says they need to get rid of him. I agree! Adrian is on board, but wants to delay him. I’m sure that’s going to end well.

Lucca is singing Baby Shark again, which means it’s going to be stuck in my head for another day. Diane comes into her office with a task. Because Lucca’s on hold with the Sweeney divorce, and she has NO OTHER BUSINESS IN THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT SHE MANAGES, Lucca also gets Blum duty. So now Marissa AND Lucca, two of the firm’s best employees, are stuck dealing with his bullshit. A+ management, RBL.

Is there NO OTHER EMPLOYEE at this firm that can do this task? “We had four associates on it. He sent them out on errands,” Diane explains. What the fuck? Did you not prepare them to deal with him? You gave him a staff, observed him doing no work for three weeks, and were just like, sure, associates, go run errands for Roland Blum!? What kind of management is that?! Surely there is someone at this firm other than Lucca who can ensure that lawyers do lawyering.

“Blum is seductive. We need an adult in the room,” Diane says. I don’t know which concerns me more: the fact that Diane is only just now realizing they needed to manage this problem or the fact that Diane doesn’t think any of her employees are capable of acting like adults. If that’s true, that’s also a management problem, and YIKES.

Julius is a horrible liar.

Is Blum talking to himself this week’s soliloquy? If so, kinda meh.

Rachelle has brought Liz and Diane a class action about vote rigging in 2016. Isn’t Rachelle’s job something in strategy? Shouldn’t she be distancing herself from this case and making sure it seems like she’s never met Liz or Diane?

Yes, the episode just answered it for me. Rachelle is a pollster. This seems dangerous. I also feel like Liz and Diane haven’t really made an independent choice since they started working with Rachelle.

Rachelle acts like this case is for real and not a set up. I understand that she’s effective, but she’s done so many cagey things in just a few episodes that I would cut all ties. You met her through a literal con artist, first of all. And beyond that, do you really think someone who’s going to force clients upon you to further their agenda and mess with the dynamics at your firm is not also going to give up your names if and when things get rough?

I may say this again later, but what I dislike most about this episode is that the stakes are so high, and they’re so real-world. Diane and Liz aren’t debating the ethics of voter fraud in the abstract. They’re committing a federal crime.

Lucca deals with Blum by… doing work. Blum’s “associate”-- actor Gary Carr, playing himself-- assists her. Lucca doesn’t realize he’s an actor and puts him to work. He clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing (because he’s not a lawyer).

Case stuff happens. Diane is instructed by Rachelle to ask for the software architecture, but she doesn’t find this suspicious. I know I do. Does the client usually get to tell the lawyer what evidence to request? Seems weird to me.

After court, Diane and Liz ask Rachelle why she needs the software. Uh, after they asked for it in court they ask her why she needs it? They didn’t think it was actually relevant and thought the request was suspicious and went along? Also, PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS THAT ONE REASON TO WANT THE ARCHITECTURE OF A SOFTWARE IS TO HACK IT.

Lucca tells Diane that Gary Carr is doing good work. What? Taking it seriously I get, but good work? Good enough that Lucca would recommend Carr to Diane? All we’ve seen him do as a “lawyer” is misidentify a piece of evidence that Lucca just had to glance at to understand.

As Lucca walks from her office to Blum’s, she overhears some associates talking about Gary Carr. See, he’s an actor and he was on Downton Abbey, a show I never watched more than a few episodes of. Lucca clearly hasn’t either. Are any of these associates really weirded out by Maia’s presence at the firm? Wasn’t she on Downton too?

Lucca confronts Gary about lying and asks him to wait in reception. There’s some awkwardness/sexual tension (the Kings’ favorite way to show sexual tension is having people be exceedingly awkward around each other) as he leaves. This plot is fun and fine, but I’d love for Lucca to get something more substantive.

Book Club meets again and Polly suggests hacking the voting machines. Diane and Liz are stunned. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Diane says, and… credits!

Book Club’s gotten pretty big. Diane’s completely against vote rigging and everyone else (except Liz) is like BUT WINNING IS MORE IMPORTANT. Polly decides to frame it as a “correction” for gerrymandering and voter intimidation. This is a more convincing argument. But it is not an argument for why Diane or Liz would risk their lives and careers for this.

Diane and Liz talk, away from the group, and Liz makes a fantastic point: “You know there are counties right now where black people are so terrorized that they can’t even show up at polls? Look, in Georgia, in 2018, a bus filled with black senior citizens was stopped by the police so they wouldn’t be allowed to vote. 53,000 voter registrations of black voters were held up by the Georgia Secretary of State. Diane, you don’t [know]. Look, we share a lot of things, but we do not share histories. I have a college friend who was kicked off the voter rolls in Ohio. And my uncle was denied the right to vote in the last election in Wisconsin. I mean, at some point, these stories become more than just anecdotes. They’re something bigger. This democracy you talk about, this doesn’t exist for a lot of us. It didn’t exist for my grandparents, it didn’t exist for my parents, and it is slowly being taken away from me.” Diane interjects that they should fight it in the courts. “The courts. The courts that overturned the Civil Rights Voting Act in 2013? So, excuse me if I just need a moment to reflect on this unique possibility. One person hits a few buttons and suddenly black voters are re-enfranchised. That means something very different to me than it does to you.”

WOW. I had to write out that whole speech because it’s great. It calls attention to a very important real world issue (if you want to learn more about voter suppression, I highly recommend One Person, No Vote by Carol Anderson). It doesn’t convince me for a second that hacking the voting machines is the right approach, but it’s enough that I understand where Liz is coming from and why Diane’s idealistic speeches don’t sway her.

Even if I don’t think this speech does a good job of making me understand why Liz is willing to jeopardize her career (tbh I have a bit of trouble believing Liz would be drawn to Book Club in the first place), it’s so good as an explanation of voter suppression I don’t really care.

Rachelle is a master manipulator. She decides to add an amendment to their plan-- only enough votes to offset disenfranchisement of black and Latino voters will be changed. Uh huh. I don’t buy it. And even if it’s true, this is so clearly manipulative it’s ridiculous. What about Rachelle is so trustworthy Liz would risk her career to help her?!

I’m stuck on this, I know, but I can’t see Liz making these choices, no matter how good the arguments or how noble the cause.

The group votes and things don’t go Diane’s way… but she acts like now that they’ve voted, she has no choice but to break the law. I don’t understand. Why is her allegiance to this group when she (and Liz) are the ones who would be most directly responsible for leaking the software architecture?

“You signed on for this. The ends justify the means, so don’t get all outraged that we’re willing to follow through,” Rachelle tells Diane. This sounds a lot like the “we’re defense attorneys, therefore we have to represent Lemond Bishop” logic I hate so much.

Oh goodie, it’s the weird scene in which I thought Lucca was going to start masturbating, and a Good Fight Short about Downton Abbey. This plotline does nothing for me. When I say I want Lucca plotlines, I don’t mean I want weird romances. I mean I want to see Lucca making friends, raising her child, and navigating the workplace.

I will take all the Lucca plots I can get but please, something with substance next time!

Blum is mad and sniffing around Reddick’s sexual harassment issues. Should’ve just gone public when you had the chance, partners.

Adrian physically attacks Blum, which is… a way to handle this. Go away, Blum. Adrian also decides to go after Blum’s illegal courtroom tactics.

Have I mentioned that I love Liz’s office bathroom?

Adrian suggests threatening Blum and Liz responds “that’s like threatening a bull with a red flag.” If it weren’t for the fact that she’s done nothing to prevent him from infiltrating her firm, I would say Liz has by far the best reactions to Blum.

“We knew this day would come, Liz,” Adrian explains, referring to the day when the allegations against Carl Reddick would surface. Well if you knew that WHY WOULD YOU PAY OFF THE WOMEN AND MAKE IT LOOK WORSE FOR YOURSELF???

They managed to write a Lucca plot I don’t feel like recapping. That’s really amazing.

I care even less since I know how it ends.

Diane insists on being the one to argue for obtaining the software architecture, since she’s a lawyer and it’s her job. She gives a passionate speech that’s about the sanctity of the vote but it’s really, of course, her argument against voter fraud. The irony!

I don’t get why Diane continues to tie herself to this!!! None of this plot makes sense to me from a character POV!!! Well, except the part where Diane gets so angry she follows a con woman to a resistance group. That makes complete sense.

Diane distances herself from the group AFTER arguing in court for the architecture? Okay. Sure. So noble.

Here’s the best part of this Lucca-dates-Gary-Carr plot: Marissa recognizes him from The Deuce and not Downton Abbey, which is a little detail that’s verrrrryyyyyy Marissa.

Hey, it’s the subpoena guy! (Yes, I care more about that than watching Blum get a tattoo.)

RBL wants to get Blum disbarred. I want him to be disbarred too, so he can become irrelevant and go away.

Jay finds a Republican hack in the software architecture. Gasp!

Blum starts screaming and banging on windows and everyone ignores him. This scene is an accurate representation of how I feel about Blum. The louder he is, the less I care about him.

Will never be a fan of three way call split screens.

WHY ARE Y’ALL TALKING ABOUT HACKING VOTING MACHINES ON THE PHONE!? Y’all are smart enough to know how to hack a voting machine but not smart enough to think of burner phones?

And why hasn’t Polly already found this malware?

And why do I care?

Rachelle calls Liz “Diane” over the phone. Liz is making Diane’s arguments, but I think it’s telling Rachelle sees them as almost interchangeable obstacles. She doesn’t really care if she’s talking to Diane and Liz, as long as she’s talking to a lawyer who will get her the software architecture and argue her case.

I do not understand Jay’s testimony in court. One, why is Jay testifying instead of a computer science expert? Two, why do his political leanings matter if he could point at an actual section of code?

So this plotline can receive more consistent development than Lucca Quinn herself, Lucca offers to let Gary Carr shadow her.

This episode is a exhausting. I didn’t like it the first time and I am having trouble getting through it. Every supporting character who shows up makes me think, “ugh.”

Oh! This is the scene with the random unnecessary nudity! If she was going to be topless in this scene why even bother with having her cover up after sex? Either don’t show it or go all in. Now I’m nitpicking a thing that usually doesn’t annoy me.

Oh and THIS scene, with Adrian and Diane’s terribly thought through confrontation of the judge! You don’t have to be a genius to know this was the wrong approach. Diane doesn’t even know Adrian’s reasoning for believing there’s judicial bribery.

How many damn times can we do this, “these are REAL LAWYERS, not TV LAWYERS” bit? I’m sick of it. Also, Lucca doesn’t like TV? Boo.

Diane and Liz don’t win their case. Which is a win for Rachelle.

Now Diane’s ALL IN!!!!! On vote rigging and wants to push the button to make it happen. Whatever.

Well, that’s over. I really have three more of these to write?

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lilydeerwrites · 6 years ago

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A Muggle Studies Moment 3: Part 4: A Lily and Sirius Sidequest conintued ...

The motorcycle transaction went well. The neighbor, a Mr. Trevorsmith, was beyond relieved to be rid of the motorcycle. Apparently, his wife was well over it and wanted it gone. He showed Sirius a few tricks to get it started, wrote down instructions about petrol and parts, and took his money gratefully. Lily was impressed with Sirius' ability to remember how to use Muggle currency and to ask insightful questions about the function and care of the machine. Two helmets came with the motorcycle, having belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Trevorsmith during their courtship. Three kids later, she no longer had interest, apparently.

Sirius thanked the man sincerely and politely, but she could see the glee and elation lurking behind his polite smile. The very moment the man went back into his home, Sirius calmly folded the registration papers into his jacket pocket and turned to Lily, offering her a helmet.

"Fancy a ride? You facilitated this whole thing, after all. First ride belongs to you, my dear!"

She put the helmet on and climbed on behind him. "Have you the slightest idea how to drive this?"

He nodded confidently. "I've done a lot of research. Manuals, old videos, anything I could find. Jamie even found me a Muggle game that was a simulator once. It only worked for a few days, but I did my level best. Do you trust me?"

Lily patted his shoulder affectionately. "Well, I know how to ride a bicycle. That's like this but without the motor, so ... won't Remus and James each be insulted not to have the first ride with you?"

Sirius nodded, grinning cheerfully. "Oh, yes. It has to be you - literally. We have to ride it at least to a point of entry for the Wizarding World. And James will be sooo jealous when we get to Potter Manor and you've got your arms all around me."

She laughed. "Poor James. He really has improved. I don't think he's asked me out in months."

"Do you miss it?"

"Not ... exactly. He was awfully annoying, but I do appreciate if he's changed because he's started listening to me."

"That's most of it. Poor old James has always listened to you. Every word you've said in a class, every time you insulted him and us, and every kind interaction he's witnessed with other people. My boy's always had a terrible mouth-to-brain connection problem, especially when he's blinded by wretched, angsty thirteen-year-old lurve."

She adjusted her helmet and said a prayer to whatever might be listening that they wouldn't come to harm on this experimental ride. "Was that all it was? Angsty 'lurve?;"

"You know better than that. James is gone on you. Still. He's just trying to be less of a prat about it. I promise the inside of his head is every bit as ridiculous for you as he ever was. Thinking about giving him a chance?"

Lily tightened her grip on Sirius' middle. "If I don't die today on this motorbeast of yours, I may ask him to go to Hogsmeade with me. What do you think?"

He turned around to face her, his gray eyes filled with more sincere emotion than she'd even thought he was capable of. "I think it's brilliant. You're brilliant, Jamie's brilliant, and together, your brilliance will outshine the damn sun. I also think I need to be extra careful not to land us in the hospital wing. It's a lot of pressure, taking your best mate's girl on a motorcycle ride when your best mate doesn't even know he's got a girl yet, right?"

Lily laughed. "What if instead of 'his girl,' he's my boy? How do you like that?"

Whatever Sirius said was lost in the sound of the motorcycle's engine revving to life. She was glad of the muffling effect of the helmet, and extra glad of the firm grip she had on his waist when the machine suddenly lurched forward. Both of them swore, and Lily had to stop herself from using her magic to ensure their safety.

A moment later, they were tentatively moving forward, only slightly jerkily. They did a slow circle of the block, and then another as Sirius became more familiar with the controls. Lily had to admit that he appeared to have done his homework. He knew the names of the parts and was making good headway on smoothing the transitions and increasing their speed. When they pulled into the Evans family's driveway and turned off the motorcycle, Sirius couldn't help giving a quiet (for him) whoop of joy.

Lily's mum met them in the driveway, smiling. "Well, look at the two of you! I could hear you coming - that thing is awfully loud. Come inside, get comfortable, both of you!" She looked at Sirius, then back to Lily, then to Sirius again. "I'm so glad that Lily's brought a friend home to meet the family. Sirius, is it?"

Sirius smiled politely. "Sirius Black. Thank you for inviting me to join your family for dinner, Mrs. Evans. It's so nice to meet you."

Again, Lily found she barely recognized the polite boy who stood beside her. "Let's go in. I'm so ready for your pot roast, Mum! I've missed it."

Sirius followed Lily into her parents' home, his stomach suddenly tight with anxiety. He had never been in a Muggle house before, and he didn't want to slip up and say something ignorant or upsetting. His internal monologue wasn't helping. Right. Don't fuck it up. I always manage to fuck things up, and this is no different. I'm a disgrace. Mother was right ...

He looked up, startled, when Lily touched his arm, directing him to the chair beside her. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were already seated, as well as a sour-faced girl he assumed was Petunia. She might have been pretty if she hadn't seemed so very determined to look at both him and Lily as though she smelled something foul. Something about her reminded him of his cousin Narcissa, and that was enough to kickstart the manners that had been ingrained into his subconscious since he was a small child. He pulled out Lily's chair, waited until she was seated, then sat down himself, his posture perfect.

The Evans parents seemed impressed, but Petunia sniffed and pointedly ignored them.

"It's good to meet you, Sirius. We're very glad that Lily is getting on well at school and making friends," Mr. Evans said, offering Sirius a smile. "I'll admit, Lily's er .... gifts ... are still a bit of a mystery to us, but we're glad she's thriving. Lily tells us you two are in the same house and have some classes together?"

"It's quite nice to meet your family as well, Mr. Evans. Yes, your daughter and I are both in Gryffindor House, and she's known to be one of the brightest students at the school. You should be very proud."

Mrs. Evans smiled, patting Lily's arm affectionately. "We're quite proud. Now, how did the two of you become friends? I'm very curious, as I've heard a few names over the years - Mary, Marlene, Severus, and Remus, mostly - but how did the two of you meet?"

Next to him, Lily was starting to blush. "Mum!"

Sirius took it in stride. Of course her family might think they were more than just friends. After all, Lily was every bit as gorgeous as he was. Any parents, with the exception of the bigoted, abusive set he had lucked into, would have thought they were a lovely, well-matched couple. He knew the Potters would have thought the same thing, and probably Remus and Pete's parents as well. He explained calmly, "Lily and I met as first years when we were eleven, but I'm afraid my best mate and I didn't make a very good first impression. It wasn't until this year that I - well, I had some problems, and your daughter may have actually saved my life. I was ... hurt, you see, and no one was around, but Lily was making her prefect rounds, found me, and got help. After that, she kept checking up on me to see that I was doing all right, and now we've become good friends."

Mrs. Evans addressed her daughter, "Why have I heard nothing of this heroic deed, darling? Surely if you saved a boy's life, the first person you'd tell is your mother!"

Lily was squirming uncomfortably, and her gaze kept darting to her sister. Petunia looked like she wanted to stab Sirius and Lily both with her fork, possibly in the eye. Lily was clearly desperate to get her parents' attention off of herself and onto her sister, but the Evans parents were too blinded by pride to see what was going on. It was a different dynamic from Regulus watching as Sirius took all of the blame and punishment for the both of them, but those experiences had made him very aware of sibling dynamics. He felt for Lily and even a little bit for Petunia, despite her sour expression and the mean things he knew she had said to her sister. He caught Lily's eye and gave her hand a quick squeeze under the table.

"I must say that it's lovely to meet you as well, Petunia. Lily speaks of you often," he said in his polite-est, most House of Black voice.

Petunia seemed startled to be addressed, and torn between being impressed by the possible status hinted at by his accent and manners and disgusted at the idea that he was one of them. For his part, Sirius honestly could not have cared less, but the relief on Lily's face was reward enough. He wondered idly why all families couldn't be like the Potters, who wouldn't have minded if James fell for a Muggle, a Muggleborn, or anyone at all, so long as it made him happy?

"Does she?" Petunia replied, somewhere between incredulous and resentful. "I rather thought that awful Snape boy was her only friend. Lily has always had a tendency to be rather exclusive with her few friends."

Sirius laughed. "There is where you and I have a bit of common ground, Petunia. I can't say I'm terribly sorry to see her friendship with ‘that awful Snape boy’ come to an end. Did you know that he's quite bigoted against those students born to Muggle families? I personally can't imagine why someone would choose to be a bigot about attributes one has no control over." He gave Petunia a pointed look. "Why, that would be like if your family decided to hate all wizards based on pure ignorance."

Under the table, Lily stepped on his foot, signaling that enough was enough. He knew he'd pushed a bit, taking a shot at both Snape and Petunia, but she didn't look mad.

"That's right, Tuney. I was telling Mary and Marlene about your engagement, and how happy I am for you. They asked me about your taste in dresses - they're very interested in Muggle fashion, you see, and I told them that it was all quite new and that I knew your favorite color was green, and that you favorite simple, classic lines. Was I close?"

Petunia glanced at her parents, whose attention was, for once, on her, and smiled, albeit a bit tightly. "Quite close, only Vernon's aunt does hate green, so I think I may consider pink or lavender."

The conversation continued, with Mrs. Evans and Lily enthusiastically asking about possible venues and other wedding-related isssues, and Sirius internally sighed with relief. The pot roast was delicious, and he was hungry, even after their hot dog snack earlier in the day. With the attention off of him, he was able to eat and allow himself to relax a little bit. There was a motorcycle outside, a Muggle motorcycle, and it was his. All he had to do was get through this dinner and he would be on his way to the Potter estate, where he could house and tinker with his prize. He couldn't wait to show the rest of the Marauders. He knew that James would be willing to help him and ride with him, but part of him hoped that Remus was at least a little bit impressed with it. James was going to be so happy he might actually explode when he found out that Lily was planning to ask him to Hogsmeade. He was looking forward to witnessing that reaction even more than he was looking forward to showing off his motorcycle. Well, maybe not quite as much, but it was definitely close.

#harry potter #sirius black #lily evans #james potter #fanfiction #marauders #marauders fanfiction

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