#AND SHE CAN DO MAGIC NOW!!! SHE CAN READ AND WRITE AND COUNT AND SHE KNOWS HER WORTH AND AAAAAAAAAAAA đđđđđđ
â âyour colorful secrets.â || jang wonyoung x reader fic.
â weeks after the event which you call "the weirdest thing that's ever happened all year", wonyoung approaches you about your 'strange' behavior towards her in the most 'wonyoung' way possible...
word count: 10.6k
dynamic: dom!mean girl!jang wonyoung x sub!nerd!reader.
content warnings: smut, fingering, clit play, nipple play, masturbation (for like, a minute lmao), overstimulation, mommy kink, degradation.
requested? : kind of!
a/n: well, we finally made it ya'll! đđđ i feel like i'm gonna say this about every fic i write here from now on but PHEWWW THIS QUITE LITERALLY TOOK FOREVER?? but i was more than happy to flesh this little universe out more and revisit our favorite mean girl and her awkward nerd <33 just like you guys, "magic words" is one of my favorite things that i have written so even though this kinda took me wayyy too long to finish, I WAS SO HAPPY THAT I STILL DID IT UEUEUE MEAN GIRL WONY MY BELOVED đ„șđ anyhow, i really, really hope you guys enjoy this and here's to more mean girl wonys in the future hehehe
p.s. i hope ya'll don't get bored too easily bcs wow there's a shit ton of talking in the first half of this ficâ
previous: magic words.
jang wonyoung was late.Â
to class.
which wasnât exactly all that surprising considering she thinks she can do whatever she wants. but she was never late to class. you would knowâyou were always waiting until she entered the room. it was like you were never calm until she appeared, but that was because you have had the biggest, lamest crush on her all year. even the professor took a pause when he called wonyoungâs name for attendance and nobody was there to respond with âiâm here, professor~â and a cheeky smile. you stared at the empty seat in the middle of the classroom, wonyoungâs seat, and wondered what couldâve been in her way for her toâÂ
âjust hold on for mommy, âkay?â
you dropped your pen, covering your red face with your hands. your seatmate gave you a brief look before going back to reading her notes. did you really have to think about that first thing in the morning? well, it wasnât as if it was all you have been thinking about for the past two weeks: wonyoungâs lips on yours, her hands all over you, her sweet voice soothing you, and her eyes looking at you like you were her last meal⊠you still couldnât believe that entire thing even happened!
ever since then, things have been really weird. a lot of people looked at you more when before wonyoung fucked you, you were usually ignored which you liked. and you knew everybody whispered about you and wonyoung too. neither of you were being discreet in that room in the library that day so you heard all sorts of things from your fellow students the day after. usually about how they didnât think you were that kind of girl, or how they never thought wonyoung would ever consider fucking âsomeone like youâ. see, other people would be mad if they heard some strangers say all those things about them but actually, you agreed with them.
everything about that day went against a lot of things that you thought about yourself. well, you werenât planning on staying a virgin forever but you really didnât expect for it to be taken by jang wonyoung of all people!
âcome on, baby. give me a show.â
you squeezed your thighs together, your heart hammering inside your chest. god, it almost felt like wonyoung was right up against your earâtalking to you and berating you for thinking about her 24/7 after she fucked you. you felt your core clench upon remembering how warm wonyoungâs hands were, how her fingers felt ramming inside you⊠god, you wanted it all again. but there was no way she would agree to that, right? knowing wonyoung and the kind of girl that she was, that would be the only time she would fuck you, right?
a pink jacket catches your attention, making you look up from your thighs. jang wonyoung has finally arrived. she was talking to the professor as she sat in her seat, all smiles and giggles as usual. she throws a brief glance over her shoulder, sharp eyes meeting yours. you didnât miss the way the corner of her mouth lifted up, smirking at you as she eyed you down. you didnât even know how the fuck she was able to do that within a millisecond of looking at you, but she did it anyway and it only made you squirm in your seat.
oh, how pathetic you were. youâve been feeling all sorts of things after wonyoung fucked you, but you never knew what to do about them. for now, you just wanted to get through another day of being in wonyoungâs presence despite everything thatâs happened. she hasnât spoken much to you since that day and you doubted that anything was going to changeâsheâs jang wonyoung after all. you were probably just another hook-up to her, something sheâs bound to forget about in a week or so.
(see, that was just all kinds of wrong because right at this moment, all the nosy people who were staring at wonyoung can clearly see how she spared your pitiful figure by the window little glances every other minute with a sly smile on her face. she didnât make an effort to be discreet. she never does. when jang wonyoung likes something, she is going to let people knowâshe has to! or else theyâll all just think youâre up for grabs.
no. wonyoung was going to show them only she can really pull all the nice girls in this school. especially youâ(y/n) (l/n), the campusâ adorably awkward bookworm whoâs very endearingly clumsy despite her well-put appearance. god, how wonyoung had become obsessed with you and you had absolutely no idea.
but it was more than just your character too. for a while now, actually ever since she fucked you, something about you has been bothering her mind. itâs made her unable to stop thinking about you and truthfully, it fucking pissed her off so much that she had to brainstorm a plan, a solution, for it. which became the reason why she was late today. will wonyoung actually execute it? who knows! for now, she can stare at you scribbling on your notes and laugh to herself because she knew, oh she so knew, that every time you paused, shut your eyes, and shook your headâyou were thinking about her.)
thankfully, the class ended after another hour and a half. halfway through it all, you got bored and opted to stare out the window. so much so that you didnât realize class was over until the familiar scent of money and local fame wafted into your noseâwonyoung had walked past you, and she winked at you. you found yourself freezing up in your seat, so fucking pathetic. nobody seemed to notice what wonyoung had just done which was fortunate for you! with bright red cheeks and ears, you packed up our belongings in record time and swiftly power-walked your way out of the classroom.
the attention that was put on you as you walked along the hallways of the building was annoying, for the lack of a better word. it seems like everybody was looking at you as if this was the very first instance of a loser somehow âgettingâ the popular girl to sleep with her. sometimes, you wish it never happened. as good as it felt, the aftermath was almost not worth it. youâve heard cruel things being said about you after that day and to save your enrollment, you kept yourself quiet and pretended like you were unaware. except that you werenât, so every time you make eye contact with someone and they start whispering to their friend or something, it only adds up to that pool of anger that was slowly building up from the pit of your stomach.
still, you couldnât bring yourself to blame wonyoung for it all. you were part of the act as much as she was but you also canât say that you brought all this attention and rumors to yourself. you blamed the other girlâs stupid reputation, actually. but itâs not like you can rewind time and make yourself leave that goddamn room when you thought wonyoung was never going to come. there was no point in dwelling on it now. it happened and you have to live with the consequences. being talked about isnât half as bad as the threat of your scholarship getting revoked anyway.
you were right on the other side of the building when you realized you had no idea where you wanted to go. you just wanted to get out of that classroom, away from wonyoungâs sights so she canât have you acting up in front of everybody. not that you would actually be able to make stable eye contact with her anyway. naturally, you found yourself marching towards the washroom. you were nearing to the door when you heard a few girls chattering lively.
you entered the washroom and there stood in front of the mirror were kim jiwon and shim jayoonâyour acquaintances and wonyoungâs super smart best friends from one of the science programs. they were the last people you wanted to see face-to-face and for good reason! as soon as they saw you, they squealed and grabbed your arm, yanking you to stand in front of the mirror with them. âthereâs the woman of the hour!â jiwon teased, lightly pinching your cheek.
âmore like woman of the weekâliterally nobody is shutting up about you! this must feel like heaven.â jayoon nudges your arm, firmly believing that you liked all of the attention you were getting when you really didnât. you would do anything to be invisible again.
âis this really what it feels like to be popular? i hate it,â you grumbled, earning a sigh from jayoon. âi donât know how you guys ever manage.â
âyou have an outdated opinion about all of this, baby girl! donât you like having everyoneâs eyes on you? now theyâll see how much of a pretty little thing you areâitâs great!â jiwon said. no, she was not very successful in convincing you that this wasnât the worst thing thatâs ever happened in your academic life so far. but you decided that you wouldnât fight her on it and instead, stand idly between the two girls while they gossiped and twirled and played with your hair.
you were completely signed off from the conversation; the only thing in your mind was the feeling of wonyoungâs hands in your hair while she kissed you. unconsciously, you touched your lips with your fingers. fuck.
âoh, youâve got it bad, huh?â jiwon teases.
âhey, donât blame (y/n)! wonyoungâs a good kisserâiâd miss her lips too,â jayoon sighs dreamily. then she gasps and grips your forearm tightly. âdo you want to fuck her again?â she asked with shiny eyes.
âw-what?!â
âwhereâd you get your information from, jayoon? wonyoung fucked her.â
âoh, right!â
you covered your face with your hands, âplease stop talking.â
jayoon forcefully pries your hand off your face, âlisten, gaeul-sunbae is having a party next week and weâll be there with wonyoung! you should come! weâll make sure to get you guys a room.â jayoon says with a wink. god, theyâd let the two of you fuck in a house full of your schoolmates?! that would just add onto your world of troubles.
âiâm not going to any party and iâm never sleeping with wonyoung again, okay? i justâi want this all to end. i hate it when iâm looked at.â you gently wiggled yourself out of the two girlsâ hold and once again marched towards the door.
âyou shouldnât have fucked her then.â jayoon says with a shrug as you reach for the handle, making you pause.
âshe fucked me.â you corrected your friend before swinging the door open and exiting the washroom.
âyeah jayoon get your facts straight!â you heard jiwon laugh as you bolted out of the washroom. you rolled your eyes, shaking your head, and glaring at the first person you saw in the hallway. the person in question raised an eyebrow before turning to talk with his friend, eyes lingering on your leaving figure.
gosh, this school was a nightmare.
nevertheless, you survive the long walk back to your classroom without sparing another person a glance. did you bump into people because you absolutely refused to look up? yes! did you care? not at all. it was much, much better than dealing with the scrutiny in everyoneâs eyes. apparently, sex was only a problem when the girl who wanted nothing to do with it actually did it. every time you remembered how everyone in the library looked at you after you and wonyoung left that private room, you wanted to scream. literally. all of the negative things that came after the event made you forget about the sweet stuff. like the way wonyoung insisted on driving you home, how she walked you to a bus stop when you refused to ride with her, how she patiently and wordlessly waited for your bus with you, and how she gave you a kiss on the cheek when your bus did arrive.
but what good was having wonyoungâs attention if everybody was also going to look at you, but in a worse light?
you knew it probably wasnât fair, but you grew a tiny bit of resentment towards the popular girl.
you entered your classroom after a deep breathâeyes glued to the ground and hands hidden under the straps of your backpack. it felt like you were back in high school all over again. this sucked so bad. but unfortunately, getting to your seat was only a bumpy road! all you had to do was not look up and start reading material once youâve sat down. it should be so easy. of course, fate had other ideas.
wonyoung had bumped into you while walking towards her own seat, forcing you to tear your gaze from the ground to look at her. oh, she was so prettyâno, (y/n)! âsorry.â wonyoung says with a cheeky smile. (she was excited that she finally got you to look at her. and as expectedâŠ) you blushed, merely looking away from the other girl before rushing to your seat. you heard a few giggles behind you which only confirmed your suspicionsâit was definitely planned. it didnât help that your cheeks and ears were flushed red⊠gosh, even your neck felt warm. you know what also didnât help? how wonyoungâs intense gaze didnât leave your figure for a while. you could feel her staring at you like you were some piece of meat for her to devour and you werenât even exaggerating by saying all that!
it was the same kind of look she was giving you right before she kissed you that day. despite your resistance, you met wonyoungâs stare. you noticed that she was surprised to see you raise your head, but it looked like it pleased her more than anything. wonyoung tilts her head and smiles slyly at you while her eyes travel from your hands, your exposed thighs, to your legs⊠now who knew jang wonyoung could be such a pervert? you squeezed your thighs together, glaring slightly at wonyoung who merely giggled before finally turning around and facing the front.
things like thatâwonyoungâs attention, her interest, her affectionâwere the only good to come out from that hook-up. the rest? the side-eyes, the rumors, the whispers, the unwanted popularity spike? you wanted nothing to do with it. but, again, it wasnât like you could reverse time.
so, you were going to do what youâve always been good at: hide yourself to the point of invisibility. itâs never failed you before, and it shouldnât now.
the only challenge was jang wonyoung herselfâwill she let you out of her sight?
you didnât want to think about the most obvious answer. instead, you tried your damned hardest to not think about her at all for the rest of the day. you poured all of your attention to the lectures, the coursework, and the notes. basically anything just to avoid hearing her voice in your head again. at least it wasnât as bad as the first few days after she fucked you. during those times, you quite literally replayed the entire thing in your head every minute. it wasnât surprising that you ended up failing a few small quizzes around that time.
when youâve put every belonging you had in your backpack, you practically rushed to get up from your seat and headed to the door. avoiding every eye that latched onto your figure. you successfully passed wonyoungâs seat without trouble untilâŠ
âah, (y/n)! finally, i can talk to you.â
ms. lim, the professor for your last class of the day, calls you. you turned around with a tight-lipped smile on your face, reluctantly walking closer to the teacherâs desk while most of your classmates walked out of the door. wonyoung was still in the room. she was staring. fuck, why is she always staring?!
âi wanted to thank you for all the help you gave last week for jiyoungâs little⊠âart for amateursâ club.â ms. lim sighed at the name (she has always hated it but ms. kim jiyoung, her fiancĂ©, loved it too much to change it) and smiled up at you.
âno need for thanks, maâam. i was passing by the art room that day and i just thought iâd help.â you hear a few people shuffle behind you. more students walking out. a flash of pink walks by behind you. wonyoung. you blinked and smiled at the professor, acting as normal as you could.
âif you donât mind, i need you to do another favor for me,â ms. lim opens up one of her drawers and carefully takes out a lunch bag from it. the professor smiles sheepishly at you. âi hate to ask my students to do little chores like this. but iâm going to be preoccupied with grading and lesson plans for the rest of the day and that idiot jiyoung forgot to grab her food from me.â
you chuckled lightly, âhard to imagine ms. kim of all people would forget about her food. iâll take it to her, no worries.â you carefully held the lunch bag in your hands and smiled at your professor.
âthank you, (y/n). sheâs been all over the place lately! worrying about this one special pupil of hers that sheâs practically begging to put up a piece of her work in the walls of the art building. itâs a whole thing, i wonât bore you about it. run along.â ms. lim waves you off with a laugh. you bowed to the professor before happily exiting the classroom with ms. kimâs lunch bag in hand. when you left the room, you saw that the hallways were still quite full with students lounging aboutâlooks like it wasnât going to be an easy walk to the fine arts building but oh well.
the first hurdle was squeezing through a crowd of jocks from different teams creating a ruckus in the middle of the hallway. the second struggle was nearly getting picked on by said jocks when they just so happened to notice you sneaking by. thankfully, a nice cheerleader with red hair diverted their attention so you could slip away. it was a quiet and pleasant walk along the school courtyard towards the fine arts building from there, with only the wind and soft rustling of leaves accompanying you.
the building was quiet, save for your own footsteps. usually, the hallways would be filled with sounds of casual chatter and the muffled voices of instructors and students alike. you had to say though, you much rather preferred the silence. it was comforting. you were usually surrounded with a lot of yelling, hollering, and laughing which sometimes wasnât all that bad but considering everything thatâs been happening the fast few days⊠yeah, this was preferable.
it didnât take long for you to reach ms. kimâs classroom, and there you were met with a vast empty room littered with half-finished paintings and beautiful illustrations created by the students and ms. kim herself. there was a backpack and a big canvas set near the back of the classroom but you pay it no mind. it was common for students to stay after school hours just to kill time or work on their projects. you put down the lunch bag on ms. kimâs desk, all the more ready to turn around and leave when a particular painting caught your eye.
it wasnât anything special by any means. in fact, it was buried behind more colorful paintings and you could only see half of it. you approached the painting, looking around the other canvases just to see it in full. it didnât look finished, but then again maybe that was part of the appeal. the painting was that of an arrangement of beautiful flowers in a jar, they were wilting. or maybe they were just coming to life, looking at the soft streams of sunlight that shone down on them.
regardless, you didnât have the luxury to analyze the painting any further when you heard shuffling behind you. alarmed, you turned your head quickly and⊠well, fuck.
âwonyoungâŠâ
the tall girl clad in pinks and blues smiles at you. it wasnât a very comforting smile.
âthe one and only,â well, that sounded familiar. you watched as wonyoung threads the ends of her hair using her dainty little fingers. a smirk dances on her lips while she stares you down, very much liking how she has rendered you speechless with her mere presence. a bit of a dramatic statement but it was true! âhowâd you like my work?â wonyoung asked, eyes quickly flickering over to the flower painting behind you.
you followed her stare, but quickly looked back at her in shock. âyou painted that?â you gasped.
âyou make me sound like iâm just a stupid bimbo,â wonyoung sighs dramatically. âof course, i painted it. would anyone elseâs work look as gorgeous?â âcharmingâ as ever, wonyoung flips her hair over her shoulder with a smug look on her pretty face. you turned away, very quickly rolling your eyes before settling them back on the painting. you were impressed. you wouldnât have guessed that wonyoung of all people would have that kind of talent, but then again, she is one of the class-toppers and nobody knows who she is exactly.
âitâs beautiful.â you admitted. you heard wonyoung chuckle, but she doesnât say much else. you donât look back at her, choosing to stare at her painting instead. again, something stopped you from looking further into it. wonyoung stood beside you, briefly looking at her painting with a somber look on her face before quickly covering it up with her usual cheeky, queen bitch smile. it was dead silent. did you even want to speak to her? for two weeks, youâve resented all the attention that was given to you because of her. youâve glared at the back of her head, cursed her in your mind whenever some students whispered about you⊠but somehow, youâre the one whoâs tongue-tied now that you were actually alone with her.
it was confusingâfeelings, that is. hell, the last real face-to-face interaction youâve had with her was on that day. when she kissed your cheek before you got on your bus.
âwasnât expecting you to be here, (y/n),â wonyoung unzips her pink jacket, slowly taking it off before putting it on an empty seat. you watched her from the corner of your eye, she was taking deep breaths and you could hear her. then she fixes her hair and turns around wearing a glowing smile. âbut this is just perfect.â she steps towards you and instinctively, you jolted backwards.
âi-i just dropped something off for ms. kim⊠from ms. lim, i mean. i should get going.â well, it wasnât going to be easy! what with wonyoung being inside your personal bubble and your heart beating so fast that you canât quite hear your own thoughts. it didnât help that she towered over you, and again, her perfume was a fucking weaponârendering you immobile.
âdonât be like that, (y/n). iâm upset with you.â wonyoung says with a pout. cute, but you really shouldnât let your stupid crush on her stop you from just getting the hell away! wonyoung was fascinated with the way your eyes wandered. she knew that no matter how angry you were with her, she was always going to have the same effect on you. and it was delicious. being able to have that much of an impact on someone.Â
âyou never called or texted me. i was waiting, especially after i sent you home,â wonyoung stands even closer and for a second, you actually saw some kind of emotion in her eyes. dissatisfaction, perhaps. âdidnât know you were like that, (y/n).â
âi d-didnât even think youâd want me to contact you after⊠after all of that.â
âi wouldnât have given you my number if i didnât want you begging for more of me over the phone, dumbass.â wonyoung bumps your shoulder with her own as she walks past you. the way you looked (confused and⊠so fucking stupid) mustâve made her pissed, judging by the way she started dragging her equipment around with her eyebrows furrowed and eyes glaring at you every now and then. you stood there awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of your uniform. you should really leave. you had things to do at home! this wasnât a time to waste with someone who was mad at you and someone you were mad with.
all it takes was a period of silence to remind of how much wonyoung affected your life. and suddenly all the anger was back. the longer you stood there and looked at her, the more it boiled up and threatened to tip over. but you were going to be mature. you were going to leave the classroom and go on with your life, leaving it all (wonyoung) behind.
âi have a few ideas on how you can make it up to me though.â wonyoung averts her gaze from the empty canvas in front of her to you.
given the way she was looking at youâor rather, has been looking at you, wonyoung was up to no good. and if you wanted any chance to redeem the little reputation you had in this academy, you had to be strong and not get swayed by her and her pretty little face and those soft lips and that mesmerizing pair of eyes. you shook your head, âi am not fucking with you again, wonyoung.â
the taller girl laughed, âwhat? did it look like i was going to make you do that? gee, (y/n), it takes one hook-up to corrupt you, huh?â wonyoung laughs, a smirk making its way to her face when she sees you glaring daggers at her. âyouâre going to be my muse.â she says, crossing her arms and scanning you up and down. gosh, she didnât even bother to hide the lust behind her stare⊠but you could tell that her statement wasnât a joke.
âyouâre⊠going to paint me?â you asked. wonyoung hums, staring right at you as she pulled her hair up to a ponytail, quietly anticipating your answer while you stood idly by the windows.
âonly reason iâm here is because ms. kim has been begging for me to put something of my own up in the hallways. usually i would just refuse but the ladyâs been nice to me since i stepped a foot in this school so why not? plus, whatâs a better subject than my latest and possibly most popular fling?â wonyoung gives you a very sarcastic smile that makes you roll your eyes. you seriously needed to get out of here.
you were more than ready to leave until you remembered the way wonyoungâs eyes looked when she confronted you about the silence you gave her. then a pang of guilt hits you the more you think about her actions after the two of you hooked up. the walking together, the waiting together, and the kiss on the cheek. maybe attempting to cut her off was a dick move on your partâŠ
âokay.â
wonyoungâs face visibly lights up. adorable.
âwhere do you want me?â you asked, blushing at the sight of the cute look on her face. all of your activities can wait. you wouldnât have been able to live with yourself knowing that you were potentially hurting someone. albeit unintentionally and the person in question being your best slash worst nightmare.
âjust sit in front of me and weâll figure it out from there.â and so, you and wonyoung get to work. well, of course it was mostly her doing the work while you just sat on a stool and listened carefully to whatever she told you.Â
oddly enough, the weight of her stare wasnât as intimidating or nerve-wracking like it usually was. wonyoung had a certain softness in her eyes as she studied your features closely, and every time you figured that she saw something she liked, something would sparkle behind those beautiful brown eyes. watching wonyoung in what seems to be her natural environment⊠well, âunexpectedâ would be the understatement of the year. you figured it would be parties and social clubs and outlet malls but then again, nobody really knew wonyoung.
getting so much as a glimpse of the untouchable popular girl was truly something. and despite everything thatâs happened you find yourself feeling the way you did the first time you laid eyes on her on campus during freshman year. awestruck, with your heart nearly beating out of your chest as you desperately tried to look at something that isnât her but ultimately failing. wonyoung gives you a smile, and it wasnât her usual cheeky-teasing one. she looked⊠bashful? and is that a hint of pink on her cheeks?
it was strange to see, but you ended up smiling a little at the sight of a rare cute wonyoung. the tall girlâs cheeks show a deeper shade of pink as soon as your lips curled up in a smile, making you giggle a little. not a lot of words were shared between the two of you after that as wonyoung completely immerses herself in her work. and during that entire time you just stared at her, admiring her focused state. you wondered if she was concerned at all about making a mistakeâher hand moved skillfully across the canvas with the attitude of someone that was sure about their abilities. you would hear an occasional tut partnered with a quick hum and followed by a quiet, satisfied laugh, giving you the impression that wonyoung was confident about the picture she was painting of you.
youïżœïżœve never been more curious in your life. you wanted to know how wonyoung sees you. it would be from an artistâs perspective but maybe youâll see even a spot of how wonyoung truly sees you deep inside. especially after everything that has gone down between the two of you, and especially after her reaction to you forcing yourself to forget her existence for two weeks. itâs not like you were looking for any chance of the popular girl returning your feelings, you just wanted to know if you were anything to her at all. maybe youâll get to know it here.
â(y/n),â wonyoung snaps you back into reality. she beckons you over with a proud look on her face. âcome over here. see if you like it.â
soon enough, you were standing beside wonyoung, staring at the most impressive painting in the room. it was you; sitting on that stool wearing a gentle smile, but almost half of your entire form was covered by a slightly see-through curtain and the tiniest streams of sunlight. at first glance, the painting looks incomplete or rather, abruptly finished but it looks perfect in your eyes. and on wonyoungâs eyes too, judging by the way she looked at her own work with approval.
âitâs beautiful, wonyoung.â you said with a grateful smile.
âmhm. itâs yââ wonyoung pauses, and clears her throat. âobviously.â she said, chuckling awkwardly and flipping her hair over her shoulder with less flair than usual. you did not know what the hell that was all about. (âitâs you.â wonyoung wanted to say. but she bit her tongue real quick. why? well, jang wonyoung was not one to try to woo a nerd of all things like that! but really thoughâitâs you. of course itâs beautiful.)
you were admiring the painting some more and the longer you did, the more you noticed just how many details wonyoung put into it. from the slight crinkle of your eyes while youâre smiling down to that tiny little scar you had on your right cheek. amazing.
âw-wait, youâre going to put this up in this building?â you asked, now blushing wildly. itâs not even that you were embarrassed of having your face put up in the fine hallways of this campus (there have been many instances of your face being plastered everywhere because of your very impressive achievements as an honor student). itâs the fact that wonyoung was involved in all of this that makes it all complicated.
âno.â
surprised, you looked at wonyoung with slightly widened eyes. she worked hard for this painting for the sole reason of putting it up, and now she wonât? maybe she sensed your discomfort at the thought of putting up a painting of you made by wonyoung, which you know would just repeat the never-ending nightmare of being surrounded by rumors all over again. you would ask the tall girl to give you a reason why, but you noticed that she was standing closer to you now, eyes darkened and very much drawing you in.
just like last time.
âfor my eyes only.â wonyoung says quietly. she was referring to the painting, sure, but she was looking at you the entire time. the implication makes your face heat up, and suddenly youâre finding it hard to do anything else except to just stand there. obnoxiously close to wonyoung with your eyes constantly flickering up and down from her eyes to her lips. you remember what those lips taste like, how they feel moving against yours. what you would give to feel and taste them all over again.
âi need a break,â wonyoungâs gaze pierces through your own, inviting you in. âdonât you?â
and all it took was the slightest nod of your head for wonyoung to lock your lips in a searing kiss with her own.
god, it felt like your chest collapsed within itself. your hands immediately cup wonyoungâs cheeks, and having learned a few things from the last time you kissed her, you were much, much better at keeping up with her despite your heartbeat running a mile a minute. wonyoungâs own hands were on your hips, pulling you closer until she started undoing the ribbon on your uniform. then, she unbuttoned your shirt, forcing herself out of the kiss and putting her lips on your neck as she did so. it was hard trying to keep yourself quiet with the way wonyoung nibbled and softly sucked on your skin⊠which was why you just stopped trying.
âahh⊠mhm, wonyoungâŠâ your moans were met with a hum from the taller girl, whose kisses now reached your chest.
âyou missed me, didnât you?â wonyoung whispers against your skin, leaving a mark just below your collarbone where she likes it best. she tilts her head up, lips hovering over your own, only touching slightly. âyou missed mommy?â
fuck, that was gonna do you in.
too embarrassed to truly admit it all, you nodded, which earned you a pout mixed with a glare from wonyoung. âiâm gonna let that go once. youâre lucky i missed you more.â eventually, you found your waist pressed against a lone desk while wonyoung continues to kiss you. you were topless now, what with wonyoung discarding your white shirt somewhere on the floor.
âw-what if ms. kim comes inâŠ?â you asked when you felt wonyoungâs hand sliding up your thigh. surely she wonât be as careless as last time, right? the two of you were barely hiding! the curtains didnât leave much to the imagination and the door was only halfway closed⊠if you werenât careful with your mouth, some unlucky soul passing by will catch the two of you and you really donât know if you can handle more of that. maybe you were naive to expect wonyoung to change within two weeks, because right after you asked your stupid little question, wonyoung had pulled down your panties and unclasped your bra from behind. goodness, she works fast.
the tall girl decided not to waste time and completely disregarded your question. âup.â she taps your hip, urging you to sit on top of the desk behind you. as you were getting yourself settled, wonyoung takes the opportunity to stare at you. you were as cute as everâflushed cheeks, messy hair, lips quivering, and pretty eyes glossy with anticipation, even though you tried to disguise it with uncertainty. wonyoung couldnât believe how easy it has been to knock down your defenses. she was so sure that even she, the jang wonyoung, was going to get rejected and embarrassed for the very first time in that library, given your reputation as a hardass.
but alas, she always gets what she wants in the end. as she should!
you pull wonyoung closer, eager to feel her lips on yours again. then she allows you to kiss her, doing the same exact thing as last timeâstaying still and letting you do what you want. wonyoung noticed that your kiss was softer, more careful. you were holding her face so gently, caressing her cheek with your thumb before letting your hands fall to her shoulders, giving the control back to her. it warmed her heart in a way that took her by surprise, but that was nothing compared to the pure amusement she felt when she caught you untying her ribbon.
âyouâre brave today, hm?â wonyoung whispered with a smirk. she doesnât stop you, though! she holds your stare as you let her ribbon drop to the ground, and then you start unbuttoning her shirt so excruciatingly slow. you stopped halfway through, only getting to see a little bit of wonyoungâs crimson red bra before putting your lips on her neck. and finally, for the first time, you heard her whimper.
you couldnât see it as you were busy kissing her neck, but wonyoung was a blushing mess. she never whimpers! but with your sudden courage and the way you left the softest and sweetest kisses on her neck, wonyoung couldnât hide it. âare you⊠marking me up?â wonyoung asked with a giggle.
immediately, you stopped, staring at her with half-widened eyes. âis that okayâŠ?â
wonyoung wouldâve called you stupid if the sound of her own loud heartbeat didnât render her speechless. âdonât tell me youâre going to ask for permission if you so much as want to put your hand on my waist or something.â wonyoung said. she can imagine it clearly in her head, actually! you were too polite for your own good.
âwell, consent is importantââ
âyeah, yeah. how about you use that pretty mouth of yours for something worth my time, dummy?â wonyoung urges you to kiss her again, craning her neck to give you access. and you did it happily! you were so obviously excited that even wonyoung thought it was endearing, laughing lightly as you gently sucked on her soft skin. you did that for a while. how could you stop, anyway? the mix of wonyoungâs sighs, feeling her thin, dainty fingers smoothly threading your hair, and her other hand laying still on your thigh, squeezing ever so often when you do something she likes⊠well, suffice to say that it was almost impossible to stop.
leaning back, you stare at your work. the sight of your marks on wonyoungâs neck only made your core buzz, making you not-so-subtly close your legs. wonyoung regains her composure, eyes darkened once again before she forces her legs open, one hand slowly sliding deeper up your inner thighs while the other keeps your legs apart. âsince youâve had your fun⊠naturally, itâs my turn now, correct?â and of course you were nodding your head eagerly like an obedient pet, just how she likes it.
your breath gets caught in your throat when wonyoung cups one of your breasts in her hand, her face dangerously close to the other one, more than ready to pleasure you. âi was thinking of being nice since i missed you⊠but you made me upset with your stupid tantrum over the last time we fucked,â wonyoung feigns a smile and a shiver runs down your spine. âso, to truly make it up to me⊠youâre going to take everything iâm giving to you today.â
scary. terrifying even, but how could you say no? the (y/n) of two hours ago would be really disappointed of you but fuck it. wonyoungâs got you wrapped around her finger once again and youâre going to let it happen again.
only moans escape your lips as wonyoungâs warm mouth closes around your nipple. a new sensation, and it was wonderful. you found yourself hugging wonyoungâs neck, pushing her face impossibly closer while she licked and sucked as she pleases. your cunt clenches around nothing, and you buck your hips slightly just to urge wonyoung to touch you down there even a little bit but you shouldâve expected that she wouldnât care about that. her hands were rather busy! one played with your other nipple while the other held your thigh in a grip so tight that it almost hurt.
wonyoung releases your nipple from her mouth, her lips now attacking your chest area with little bites. you werenât opposed to it. in fact, the frustrated look on wonyoungâs face was a delight to see! âshouldâve known you were going to be a pussy about it all⊠wouldnât have waited up all night for your text if i did.â wonyoung tightens her grip on your thigh, making you wince. but the pain was quickly overshadowed by pleasure as the tall girl pulled on your nipple.
âhow was i supposed to accept that you didnât want anything to do with me anymoreâŠ? you were screaming my name so sweetly in the library⊠and i was in your head after all of that, right?â wonyoung briefly lets go of your thigh to pull your hair down, forcing you to meet her eyes. âi know you did⊠in the end, the campusâ smart goody-two-shoes is just a fucking slut in the making, isnât she?â
wonyoungâs eyes shine with excitement upon seeing you look at her so desperately. she knew that youâd never take any insult if you were in your right mind⊠and it only turned her on when you said nothing to her, your head so clouded that youâd allow wonyoung to say anything she wants to you. the tall girl spreads your legs apart, staring at your glistening pussy before her hungry eyes pierce back into your own. âand to think that you wanted to leave when youâre all drenched like this! what would you have done if i let you go? surely not touch yourself,â wonyoung laughs, but it was a cold and mocking one. your cheeks flush with embarrassment since she was rightâyou canât bear to touch yourself, which is why youâre so desperate to have her fuck you already. âyou need me, and i want a pretty doll i can play with however i like. letâs help each other out, (y/n)-ah.â
wonyoung doesnât wait for you to say anything (of course she doesnât) and starts massaging your clit with her thumb. you gasped at the sensation, holding onto her arms and almost closing your legs up. you try to control your sounds this time around, all that left your mouth were the usual pathetic whimpering and panting but at least you werenât loud! wonyoung didnât like that, though. she presses her thumb harder against your clit, making you whine loudly. âthatâs more like it.â the tall girl muttered under her breath. the longer she pleasured your clit, the sooner you were losing control of yourself. and eventually you were just giving into what your body wantsâgrinding against wonyoungâs hand, pulling her closer so you can kiss herâŠ
you gasped sharply as wonyoung plunged her two fingers inside your cunt, and she was giggling at how you were wrinkling her shirt up due to how tight you were holding onto her. fuck did it feel good to be filled up. when wonyoung curls her long fingers inside you, you clamped your hand over your mouth, afraid of alerting anyone who may be lurking around. annoyed, wonyoung swats your hand away, âcome on, i donât want to punish you so early.â none of what she was saying went through to your head. and it wasnât even because you were trying to be a disobedient brat but because of her pace.
she snaps her wrist with each thrust, enough to make sure that you feel every inch of her fingers inside you before pulling out. it was hard to focus on anything, even more so when wonyoungâs pretty brown eyes were raking all over your body, getting familiar with your features once again. it wasnât everyday something catches her eye so easily, but when she entered that secluded room in the library and had the luxury of staring at you while you were asleep, she was charmed. not even she thought that she would have you on top of this table merely two weeks laterâwrithing under her touch and moaning her name, but wonyoung quite liked this outcome.
why, after you were so good for her the first time she fucked you, youâve been on her mind!
âa-ah..! wonyoungâŠâ your sweet voice snaps the tall girl back to reality. youâve completely wrapped your arms around her neck now, how precious. wonyoung puts her lips to work, wanting to taste your skin once again. and that she does! giving you kisses from your cheek, to your jawline, to the crook of your neck and all that the way down to your chest. conveniently, the desk was long enough for wonyoung to be able to pull you down so youâd be lying back comfortably. she towers above you, a grin on her lips as she watches you try to hold on to your climax.
it was so glaringly obvious that you were close. with the way your walls clenched around wonyoungâs fingers, a few more thrusts should do it. and that made wonyoung way more upset than you can imagine. there was no way you were going to make this so short, right? but she feels it. not only have you dug your nails on her free wrist trying to hold onto her, youâve also started whining very loudly. wonyoung, annoyed, wriggles out of your painful hold and shoves her thumb inside your mouth, effectively shutting you up. drool starts dripping down along your jawlineâwonyoung wasnât going to let you off easy judging by how she pressed her thumb flat and hard down on your tongue.
âweâre gonna make this last, baby,â wonyoung says. she sees the tears pooling in your eyes and it only makes her feel warm inside. she was getting so excited to have her way with you, and a few tears wouldnât stop her. âand everyoneâs going to know again. i know you donât like that but this time⊠theyâll know youâre mine.â
wonyoung didnât plan on saying that last part out loud but thankfully enough, you were way too busy moaning her name to even hear it. a knot tightens in your stomach and you gasp, the sensation becoming all too familiar with you now. wonyoung pulls her thumb out of your mouth and slowly slides a third finger inside your cuntâand then there it was.
âawwâŠâ wonyoung cooed as you came all over her hand. but she doesnât stop any of her movements. instead, she leans down, catching one of your nipples with her mouth and continuing on fingering you through your orgasm.
âf-fuck..! wonyoung, w-waitâŠ!!â you clawed helplessly at her back. amidst your hopeless whining and moaning, wonyoung just giggles. her eyes flicker up to get a brief glance of your face, her own core clenching at how tight youâve closed your eyes, how youâve bitten your lower lip to the point of it hurting. she absolutely loved getting to see you undone piece by piece⊠even more so when you allow it to happen. which is what you finally do as you bury your hands in wonyoungâs hair, pushing her further down your chest and whimpering sweetly at every flick of her tongue on your nipples.
wonyoung wasnât letting her hand rest, however. she keeps fingering you in a semi-fast pace, hoping to edge you closer to another orgasm. clearly, she was taking advantage of your dazed state and in all honesty, of her own adrenaline-driven state. in her right mind, she would have let you cum the first time and stop there since she knew you canât handle too much of what she can really give you but god⊠wonyoung just has to see you fall apart completely under her.
âsomeone learned a few things from last time, hm?â wonyoung teased as she gently massaged your clit in circles with her thumb. âyouâre taking it so well. good.â
you gasped loudly as she plunges her fingers knuckle-deep inside your walls again, now thrusting faster than ever. wonyoung completely gets lost at the feeling of your warmth around her fingers. with her towering above you, she was distracting enough for your mind to wander elsewhere. every so often youâd notice the way she slightly bit her lower lip, whimper quietly, and huff as she fucked you⊠and as your eyes trail down lower (as low as you could, anyway), you saw that the tall girl had been clenching her thighs together. gods, wonyoung looked so hot being desperate like this.
it made you blush, how much she wanted to feel as good as she was making you feel good. next time, you are going to make sure to return the favor. it was what she deserves, as much of a pain in the ass she was.
âare you okay, (y/n)âŠ?â wonyoung, concerned that you have spaced out, asked. her thrusts have slowed and her eyes are now softer.
you nodded meekly, âyes, mommy.â the nickname slipped out so naturally that it caught wonyoung off guard. and was she⊠blushing? flustered, even?
(wonyoung wouldnât even know where to start if someone were to ask about the hold you have on her. it almost sucks that you donât know about it, but wonyoungâs pride wouldnât let her admit it outright. not yet, anyway.)
âweâre almost done.â wonyoung regains her composure. she completely pins one of your wrists down with her free hand, the other ramming inside your walls out of control, and her forehead nearly touching yours while you moaned helplessly. with your one hand, you clutched the edge of the desk, refusing to hurt wonyoung any further because you knew you would make her blood had you decided to hold onto her with the way she was abusing your pussy. wonyoung chuckles slightly at how smoothly her fingers went in and out of youâher hand was completely drenched in your cum and wetness. she was practically drooling at the thought of getting to taste you.
wonyoung would rather do it from the source, but she knew you wouldnât be able to handle her mouth. not at this state. and not with all the things she wants to do to you with her tongue alone.
she feels you clenching around her again, and she watches as tears squeeze out of your eyes. she kisses them away, whispering some comforting words in your ear before she thrusts her fingers knuckle-deep inside you. wonyoung intertwines your fingers since she knew youâd need it as you came all over her hand once again. unlike last time, wonyoung makes sure her hand is still, only pulling out as youâve started to calm down a little. your eyes wandered all over the ceiling, still trying to get a sense of things. you could feel wonyoungâs eyes on you though, but you couldnât tell what she was doing.
so âsurprisedâ would be an understatement when you feel her clothed, wet cunt pressed against your knee. wonyoung smiles bashfully as she slightly grinds her clit on your knee. hell, she nearly fucked you into unconsciousnessâshe shouldnât have anything to be afraid of doing now. even if she has to become this spectacle for you.
âj-just need to⊠do something about this.â wonyoung says. her voice was a bit higher from her whines, obviously feeling so good that she canât help but show this new side of herself. underneath her, you were a bit rattled but completely flustered and quite confused as to what you should do. not that you could do anything, anyway. you couldnât really feel your legs and your head was still getting itself situated. you were basically watching wonyoung grind herself into you⊠and it was heaven.
wonyoung meets your stare and grins, âliking the show, babe?â she teased. she giggled when you covered your face with your other hand, you were so red. but you were brazen enough to raise your knee slightly and pressed it against her clit, making her moan out loud for the first time. a smile of satisfaction spreads on your faceâyou finally heard wonyoung make that kind of sound!
âcheeky little doll.â wonyoung says before leaning down and kissing you. she stops her grinding, having had enough for now and slowly pulls you to sit up, carefully.
much like the last time this happened, nothing much was said afterwards. you were merely hugging wonyoung while you recovered, and youâd smile every time you felt her leave feathery-light kisses across your shoulder and draw random circles on your lower back. wonyoung allowed you to hold her for as long as you needed, never worrying about how the sky has turned orange or the supposed project she was assigned to start today for ms. kim. a gust of wind seeps through the slightly open windows and you shiver.Â
finally, wonyoung pulled away. âletâs get you dressed up. ms. kim should be on her way anyway.â she helps you stand on both feet and picks up the random pieces of clothing scattered around the area, almost scolding herself for throwing them around haphazardly. wonyoung was the one who buttons up your shirt, makes sure your skirt is all nice and tidy, ties up your ribbon perfectly, and styles your hair as if it was never a mess. and then she decides that you would look cute with a bit of lip tintâbut also because you needed a good excuse to give people if they so happen to ask you why your lips were so red and fucked up.
you stayed still as wonyoung dolled you up. it was strange though, because at this point, she has fucked you three times and youâve bravely looked at her in the eye then but now you canât. every time her eyes flicker over to yours, you blink and set them elsewhere. you canât tell her about how your pussy clenches under her gaze. you canât tell her that if she does something so simple as this, helping a fellow girl to look presentable, it turns you on. and it probably wasnât even because nice-and-friendly wonyoung was a rarity! it was because of that damn crush. and how you can still feel her hands all over you but ugh, youâre so tired of coming to that conclusion.Â
you get it: you are morbidly obsessed with how wonyoung makes you feel! god, can i be any more pathetic?
âyouâll text me this time, right?â wonyoung asks after she is done. she has also gotten herself look as perfect as she always does.Â
âi canât exactly escape you now, can i?â
âmhm! glad youâre aware of that.â wonyoung puts on an exaggerated smile, but really, she was excited.Â
you then pulled out your phone and sent wonyoung a simple âhiâ text message. âthere. happy?â you mimicked her fake smile.
âecstatic, actually.â wonyoung replied with a straight face as she stared blankly at your useless message. she saves your number and suddenly snaps a quick photo of you without warning, setting it as her contact photo for you. when you tried to sneak a peek, wonyoung moved away from you with a laugh, and saved your name as âdumâ on her phone, even waving it all over your face and laughing even more at your disgruntled reaction. how mature⊠and endearing.
when silence started to fill the air, you almost wanted to ask wonyoung a few things about this whole⊠thing. whatever it was. as much as you liked the whole doll talk earlier, you didnât exactly understand it. were the two of you going to be friends-with-benefits now? well, more like barely-acquaintances-with-benefits. was wonyoung going to make a habit of cornering you at some isolated place and fuck you? because really, youâd prefer a small warning before she starts using you. confused as you were, you didnât let a word slip. you just stood there, watching wonyoung as she put up an empty canvas on the easel.
âis it okay if i rest for a bit before leaving?â you asked in a quiet voice. wonyoung nods as she pulls her hair up for a half-ponytail, only briefly looking at your figure as you walk past her to sit on the instructorâs chair at the front of the classroom.
âiâd insist on taking you home but you seem to adore public transportation.â wonyoung quipped from behind her canvas.
âyouâd only find some excuse to touch me again in your car so yes, maybe i prefer taking the bus rather than that.â you replied. attempting to avoid thinking about wonyoungâs hands all over you while you sat on the passenger seat of her car was futile, thank goodness she was focused on whatever project she was working on.
âthanks for the idea.â oh you just knew wonyoung had a stupid smile on her face thinking about it all. that pervert!
although you would be lying if you said you werenât into the idea, but that was something the two of you should save for much, much later.
for the rest of your time there, you merely sat on ms. kimâs chair. sometimes you watched wonyoung even though you couldnât see much of her face. occasionally, however, she would peek from above the canvas to check on you and you wouldnât look away like you usually would. you would hold her gaze, smiling softly before gazing at the setting sun outside. the only thing that was on your mind was how everything has changed now. whether it was for the better or for worse, you couldnât tell yet.
there was no use dwelling on it. you simply have to see where things go. one thing was for sure though: jang wonyoung wasnât going to be out of your life so easily.
you pondered on that chair for a while before you finally decided to leave. you promised wonyoung that you would text her as soon as you got home, and you knew that even though she barely gave you a glance since she was so focused, she was happy that you promised that. while you headed for the door, you felt wonyoungâs eyes follow you until you were completely gone. but even as you walked through the empty hallways once again the hair on the back of your neck stood on end and you found yourself stopping in your tracks completely on top of a flight of stairs.
âthat⊠really all just happened. again.â you mumbled. ugh, your ears felt hot. your cheeks too. matter of fact, your entire body was just warm.
âwhat happened?â a chipper voice nearly makes you jump out of your skin. ms. kim has suddenly appeared beside you. you hadnât noticed that she was already there when you turned to the corner.
âo-oh! ms. kim, hello,â you greeted, hand clutching your chest. âah, right. i dropped off your lunch bag. ms. lim said you forgot it earlier.â
âreally? thank you, (y/n). she must be very busy if she couldnât visit me herself. iâll make sure to tell her that you did well delivering my food.â the art teacher pats your shoulder. her smile was striking and infectiousâno wonder ms. lim always looked so lovesick around her!
âno need. itâs no problem at all,â you glanced at the giant clock on the other side of the wall and felt panic rise from the bottom of your stomach. âmy bus should be making its way to the stop now. have a good day, ms. kim!â and so you were off to running as fast as you could to catch your ride, leaving the art teacher baffled but quite amused at the stairs.
ânever seen (y/n) a bit loose in the head like that before.â
inside the art room, wonyoung has gotten busy. the tiniest specks of paint decorated her face, her hands had become quite the mess but what mattered was the picture she was creating. she was quite surprised with herself. only earlier did she feel that familiar rush of creating something with efficiencyâwhen she was painting you. she was feeling it again, and it was great. it has been quite some time before she felt that rush. as rich her mind was with concepts, wonyoung found it hard to materialize them in a painting for some reason. maybe she was just lazy. maybe the pictures in her head just werenât clear enough.
but somehow you of all peopleâof all things, reallyâmade it all so very clear.
âah, the things a good pussy does to the human mind.â wonyoung laughs at her own words. she couldnât wait to bother you all night long later.
âi knew it!â
once again, ms. kim has surprised a student. fortunately enough, wonyoung didnât make a mistake and only flinched slightly. âhello, ms. kim.â the tall girl greeted. she doesnât take her eyes off her canvas since she knew that the teacher was already sauntering towards her with that contagious energy she always has.
âwow. i half expected you to be struggling for inspiration as usual but you actually got somewhere!â ms. kim pats wonyoungâs head, very much satisfied at wonyoungâs progress with her work. oddly enough, wonyoung found herself blushing deeply letting ms. kim look at a personal piece from her so freely. not that she gave a fuck about keeping up her reputation even with the teachers, but jang wonyoung was nothing if not so stubbornly prideful.
because no! she cannot bear being teased about painting (y/n) (l/n) for the second time in the same day!
âis thatâŠâ
wonyoungâs blush get deeper. here it comes.
âshe did say she came by this room⊠i see!â ms. kim laughs and nudges wonyoungâs arm, teasing the girl as if she was some kid who was having a crush for the first time in her life. incorrect, by the way! because jang wonyoung doesnât do crushes.Â
the art teacher leans back and allows herself to fully take in her studentâs work. it was a beautiful painting of you, surrounded by orange and yellow colors, looking lost in thought as you gazed out the window. your face was slightly obscured by the curtain, similar to the previous painting of you that she has done. perhaps a clue as to how wonyoung truly sees you.
ânever thought youâd want a muse, wonyoung! but sheâs not just that, is she?â
wonyoung settles her palette and paintbrush on an empty stool, exhaling and stretching her sore shoulders. now, she wasnât the one getting fucked but damn, did you exhaust her too! it was in the good way at least, so wonyoung canât really be mad at you. with you in her sick little head, wonyoung offers a mischievous smile to her teacher, âmy cute little secret is what she is.â
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Only If You Catch Me
âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~
pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader
summary: fred had always been frustrated by your endeavors with other men, especially other men that always looked quite a bit like him. after a disastrous mistake during quidditch practice you find yourself wondering how you had never seen fred Weasley in the light you saw him in now
word count: 4.4k
warnings: jealousy, language (maybe?), only proof read once so sorry for any mistakes!
a/n: this is my first big piece in ages, I hope you guys enjoy and im so sorry for my prolonged absence i fell off on writing for a while and im just now getting back to it
âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~
âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~
Some things were just facts, plain and simple; the sky is blue, two and two is four and you had a type.
âAnother ginger I see.â Alicia murmured as you sat down across from her, pints of butter beer clinking together. Your eyes were locked with a pretty freckled boy by the bar.Â
You huffed even though she was quite right, this must have been the third redhead that you set sights on this year. âWell William got boring and,â You paused wrinkling your nose, â-pushyâÂ
The Three Broomsticks was packed, the sounds of chatter and warmth guarding you from the icy cold of the blizzard that had swept through Hogsmeade. You and Alicia had joined the dozens of students seeking cover in the popular pub and quickly snagged a small table near a large fireplace where you now looked out on the sea of flushed faces and smiles.Â
âWith your type it's a wonder your last name isnât Weasley.â Your friend chuckled and you laughed.Â
âIf I could have gotten my hands on Charlie, it would be.â You replied, your silly crush on the older Weasley brother lasting from your first year to what you were sure would be your last.Â
Alicia giggled, taking a large swig from her pint, licking the foam off her top lip. âWhy not one of the twins then?â
âWhat twins?â A voice asked from behind you.
âShe couldnât be talking about us now could she, Georgie?â Fred jested.
âNo no,â The other replied, âI mean what could Spinnet possibly want from us?â
Alicia rolled her eyes with great effort, âTrust me when I say I want nothing to do with you. As for my friend here, I don't know if I can say the same.â she said with a smug grin and you sent her a furious look.
Fred smirked, leaning over the back of your chair, his large palms ghosting your shoulders, âIs that true? Do you need something from us?â He leaned in even further, his nose brushing your hair, âfrom me?â
You began to look a bit red as he pulled away, âPlease Weasley,â you managed to scoff âsince when do I need things from you? In fact, I believe you still have my Charms notes.â
Fred had come to stand in front of you now, George joining his side, âIt's just that your notes are so much better for writing Flitwickâs essay. â He argued.Â
âYou donât even take notes.â You said, exasperated.Â
âExactlyâ The twins replied in unison.Â
Alicia snickered beside you.
Chairs appeared and Fred and George sat. The table seemed half the size it was before as Fred's elbow knocked against yours.
âMade yourselves at home have you?â You spoke, wincing.
Fred just grinned and leaned purposefully closer, thighs now brushing.
You slid towards Alicia who was turning a laugh into a cough and set your eyes back on the boy with freckles.Â
âYou headed to the Slytherin match next weekend?â Alicia asked absently.
âOf course.â George replied, âIâve bet Lee a galleon that Malfoy catches a bludger with his nose.â he chuckled, âHe reckons itâll be his gut.âÂ
You all smiled at the idea, no one hated Malfoy more than those on the Gryffindor quidditch team.Â
âWe also have business to do.â Fred said, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously.
âYou don't have any more of those nosebleed nougats do you?â You asked, eyes still across the room, âIâve got to get out of Binnsâ class tomorrow.âÂ
Alicia's eyebrows shot up, you hardly missed History of Magic, or as you liked to call it, nap hour. âWhy's that?â.Â
âNo reason.â You mumbled, intently staring into your butterbeer.Â
Fredâs eyes darted between the two of you.Â
âOf course weâve got some.â grinned George, oblivious, â2 sickles a pei-.â
âOr for free if you tell us what you're up to.â Fred interrupted, catching a strange look from his brother.Â
âI'm not up to anything!â You gasped with a bit too much enthusiasm.Â
Alicias eyes had narrowed to slits and Fred had never looked more unconvinced.Â
Your face began to grow hot and you found yourself wishing you had more grace in the act of lying.
âOh come off it,â George said, âIf she wants to snog Murphy instead of hearing about the seventh generation of goblin rebellions, who are we to judge?âÂ
You were glowing pink now, sending a vicious look at George who had taken to sipping his drink innocently.Â
Fred looked appalled, his face contorted like he had just caught a whiff of something horrible, âMurphy!âÂ
âKeep your voice down.â You hissed angrily, glazing across the room again to be sure he hadnât heard, âI'm trying to keep it quiet.âÂ
Fred was fuming, âWho wouldnât, swapping spit with a git like that.âÂ
You scoffed, pulling out a small coin purse, âCan I just have some nougat?â
âNope.â Fred responded, voice suddenly ferocious, âWeâre out.â
You were beginning to grow frustrated, âGeorge just said you had some.â
Fred glared at you, âWeâre out.â he repeated his nose high in the air.
You turned to George looking for help but he threw you an Iâm-not-getting-into-this look and you were forced to round back on Fred.Â
You glared at each other for a moment before Fred caved, "Fine weâve got some,â He huffed, âThree Galleons.âÂ
Your mouth dropped, âGeorge said 2 sickles!â
He crossed his arms, âTheyâre in high demand.â
You stood, chair flying back into the wall with a loud crack, âYouâre a complete prick.â you said sharply snatching your bag and sweeping past Fred and over to meet Finn Murphy who was now standing to leave the pub.Â
âWell I think you handled that well.â Alicia said, grinning at Fred who looked as though he had been slapped.Â
George, who looked all too happy with himself for instigating such an interesting conversation, helped himself to the remains of your butterbeer as you and Murphy bowed out into the flurry of white followed closely by Fredâs glare.
âLooks as though she's gonna snog every redhead at school before you.â Alicia snicked.Â
âYeah,â George snorted, âYou might want to keep an eye on Ginny.â
Alicia giggled even harder, pressing a hand to her lips in an attempt to keep her drink in her mouth.Â
Fred could hardly hear them, too busy envisioning your latest with large boils all over his face or perhaps vomiting indefinitely.Â
Alicia managed to contain herself and shot Fred a sympathetic glance, âI've been trying you know, I keep bringing you up but she seems far more interested in Charlie.âÂ
âCharlie!â He guffawed, âBut he's been gone for ages!â
âWell he seemed to have made quite the impression.â Alicia chuckled.Â
âHe was captain when she was appointed to the team.â George pointed out.Â
âYeah when she was TWELVEâ Fred gasped.Â
Alicia couldnât help it, she had started laughing again, âRelax,â She spoke between breaths, âItâs just a silly school girl crush.âÂ
Fred looked unconvinced and began to tap his heel incessantly against the floor.
âTake it as a complement!â She continued, âCharlie looks quite a bit like you, I mean you are related after all.âÂ
Fred was not taking it as pleasantly as she suggested and began to rap his foot on the ground even faster, âWeâve got to do something.âÂ
âWe?â George snorted, âThis is all you mate. Iâm not the one in love with her.âÂ
Freds ears grew pink, âIâm not in love with her!â he sputtered.Â
âWhatever you say.â Alicia spoke rolling her eyes.
The truth was that if Fred wasn't in love with you, he was so close he may as well have been. At the very least he had been pining after you for years and he had never been particularly quiet about it. In fact he was the opposite of quiet about it. His flirtatious remarks and dazzling complements were quite consistent. Unfortunately so was his coursing jealousy as you paraded around with boy after boy who was not him. Every year he swore would be the year. The year where you finally realized it was him you needed and all would be right in Fred's world. But time and time again he failed as you walked out the door with a different redhead. He was growing nervous, his seventh year was upon him and this may be his last chance before you were all carted off in different directions never to see each other again. The frustration of it all was turning him bitter.
That night Fred lay awake on his four-poster, staring at the ceiling venomously. What was it? He wondered, What was it that he didn't have that every other ginger you knew seemed to possess? Why was it never him pulling you into broom closets and meeting you after classes? What was he doing wrong? His thoughts spun until he drifted into an uneasy slumber.Â
By the time he arrived at the quidditch pitch for practice the next morning, the rest of the team was already changing into their robes as Angilina scribbled vigorously on the chalkboard in front of them, already changed and ready.Â
âFred!â She shouted watching him try to sneak his way into the bustle of the team unnoticed, âWhat took so long? I was beginning to think I would have to send George back up to wake you.âÂ
He shrugged, âSorry Cap, I didnât get much sleep last night if you know what I mean.â he winked at her and she looked sorely unamused.Â
You on the other hand perked up at the insinuation, finally looking at the twin who, in protest of his behavior the day before, you had been ignoring.Â
âShe gets what I mean,â He smirked nodding towards you, âUp late with Murphy boy last night?â He asked viciously.Â
You flushed as the changing room filled with chuckles.Â
âMurphy?â Angelina asked, turning to you, âIsnât he a bit,â She paused, âdim?âÂ
You scowled at Fred silently before snatching your broom from the rack and marching so quickly out onto the pitch that you hadnât even noticed you had hit Harry in the temple with its handle.Â
As Potter groaned in pain and fixed his askew glasses Fred looked over to Alicia who was shaking her head slightly. As the rest of the team slowly followed you out onto the field she and George made their way towards him.Â
âYouâre an idiot.â Alicia groaned, âNo wonder she wonât go out with you.â Â
George chuckled.
Fred glared at the pair, âItâs not my fault she insists on only snogging boys who are 'a bit dim.'" he spoke, mocking Angelina.
âI know that this may be hard to wrap your head around,â Alicia spoke sharply, âBut maybe she went out with Murphy because he was, ya know, nice to her.â She then shouldered past the twins leaving Fred gapping at his brother desperately.Â
The day was crisp, the heavy licks of winter drawn in by a bitter wind. But the sky was clear and the sun was out, much to everyoneâs appreciation.Â
Fred mounted his broom still angry, feeling foolish for upsetting you yet again as you stood with your back to him defiantly.Â
The whistle blew and the balls were released as the team kicked off, snow flying in all directions as you did so.Â
Fred's head was not in practice as it should have been but instead on you, watching you speed towards the goal posts with the quaffle already under your arm. You scored easily on Ron with a feign left.
Fred was so absorbed in you that he had completely forgotten about the bludgers, one of which was hurtling at him with frightening speed. With little time to react he swung his bat wildly and pitched the bludger in the opposite direction, which with a sickening feeling he realized was right at you.Â
He tried to shout but you must not have heard him over the howling of wind in your ears. Because when the bludger struck you heavily between the shoulder blades you were completely unprepared. Your vision danced as the air was knocked from your lungs. You were flung from your broom with a shriek and began to plummet.
Fred streamed after you, urging his broom towards the ground with a frightening speed. His Cleansweep shuttered under the immense pressure he suddenly held it in and never before had Fred wished so badly for Potters Firebolt.Â
He managed to get beneath you mere feet from the ground. The force at which you hit him knocked you both into the snow with a heavy thud, and there was a sickening sound as his broom snapped in two.Â
Neither of you moved for a moment, the snow settling around you and beginning to melt through your robes.Â
âAre you alright?â Fred asked and was struck with panic when you did not respond. He sat up quickly pulling you with him, your legs tangled together in the snow. He called your name desperately, hands holding your face as you lay limp in his arms.Â
Angelina landed beside the pair followed closely by George and Alicia both of whom were wearing nervous expressions.Â
âY/n!â Fred shouted again, tears stinging his eyes, fear gripping his throat like a vice. He was moments away from shaking you when your eyes slowly peeled open.Â
âFred?â You mumbled, confused.Â
The boy let out a barking laugh of relief and then dove into a hug, almost knocking you back to the ground.Â
Bewildered, you returned his embrace and realized quite suddenly how much larger than you Fred really was. You practically disappeared into his chest, his broad shoulders shielding you from the wind that whipped across the pitch. You felt frighteningly warm listening to his heart beat quickly beneath his robes. Your cheeks were hot as he pulled away from you and began to search for any look of pain or damage on your face.Â
âAre you alright love?â He asked again and was washed with relief when you nodded.Â
As you fully realized what was going on around you, you gasped, pulling the handle of Fred's broom out of the snow.
âYour broom!â You looked horrified, âFred, your broom broke!âÂ
Fred on the other hand brushed it off helping you to your feet and beginning to pat the snow off your robes, âItâs alright, Iâm sure it's fixable.â he shrugged, âListen, I am so s-â
But before Fred could finish his apology George burst between the two of you, âI am so sorry!â He spoke hurriedly, âThe bludger caught me off guard. I swear I wasnât aiming for you.âÂ
You chuckled, giving George a pat on the shoulder, âI sure hope not, but 's not me you should be apologizing to anyway.â You said, âIt's Fredâs broom that broke.â Â
George did not issue his brother any regrets and instead sent him a wink, whipping his wand out of robes and shouting âRepairo!â
The broom snapped back together and Angelina, who was desperate to get back in the air, looked to you, âYou alright then?âÂ
You nodded with a grin and turned back to Fred who was testing the strength of his brother's repair.Â
âThank you so much Fred,â You gushed, looking up at him through your lashes.Â
The boy's heart skipped a beat, stomach lurching, âIt was no problem really.â He breathed and miraculously found you in his arms for the second time as you lunged towards him.
âThank you.â You murmured into his robes before disconnecting and swiftly boarding your broom again.Â
Fred watched you leave struck for a moment. Alicia shot him a thumbs up and a grin before he was able to clumsily climb onto his own broom and follow you back up into the air.Â
By dinner the story of your fall had been told and retold so many times that you were now said to have plummeted upwards of a hundred meters before Fred had heroically scooped you onto his own broom, saving what was sure to be your life.Â
In the great hall you kept getting asked if you were okay as down the table Fred got clapped on the shoulder and congratulated for his great save. He seemed to be enjoying the new story a fair bit more than you were.Â
Finn had come over to ask about you halfway through dinner but you found suddenly that he was no less than boring and he returned to the Hufflepuff table after a few short minutes with a look of disappointment on his face.Â
Fred watched this with such delight he was sure he was glowing. George -who he had been applauding as the best wingman one could ask for all day- poked him hard in the side and pointed down the table to where you sat. Fred turned to catch your eyes already on him. He winked exuberantly and you turned away with a scoff, but your cheeks had taken a rather deep shade of red.Â
He grinned so wide at George he thought his lips might split, âI mean this is some real progress!â He cheered, âDid you see that? She was staring at me!âÂ
Down the hall you turned to Alicia, cheeks still pink, âHave you ever noticed how tall Fred is?â You asked so suddenly she choked on her pumpkin juice.Â
You stared at her curiously as she wiped her mouth with her sleeve smiling, âOh yeah very tall.â
You hummed looking back down the table at the elder twin who was now laughing wildly at something Lee had said, âI guess I never really thought about it before.âÂ
Angilina shot Alicia a glance as you were distracted and the two of them broke out into giggles.Â
âWhat?â You demanded though you were still smiling.Â
âOh nothing.â Angilina grinned and you huffed turning back to your dinner.Â
You found yourself wishing Fred had chosen to sit a bit closer to you as you watched a group of girls across from him break out into giggles at something he said, âThere's no way he's that funny.â You muttered knowing he in fact was.Â
  Yet you couldnât find yourself being all that jealous as he kept glancing up at you, as if checking to make sure you were still watching him and much to his delight you always were. His shoulders, you noticed from where you sat picking at plum pudding, were quite wide, his arms toned. It was no wonder that he had engulfed you completely out on the pitch.Â
How had I never noticed this before? You found yourself wondering. How had he managed to escape your list of potential suitors when he was so obviously perfect for you?
The thought struck you rather abruptly and while you would have liked to have sat with it for a minute, Alicia was standing and you knew it was time to head back to the common room.Â
As students began to flood from the hall you fiddled with the sleeves of your robes, thoughts full of brown eyes and freckles .Â
As if summoned, Fred appeared at your side grinning widely, âHello.â
âHey Fred,â replied Alicia.Â
âHave you guys heard the news?â He asked, throwing an arm around your shoulder. You tried hard not to blush and instead shook your head, staring at the floor. âApparently, you owe me your life.â He was beaming down at you now and you found it hard to look away.Â
âOh yeah?â You smirked, âAnd I heard it was actually you who hit me with that bludger.âÂ
His smile disappeared only momentarily and you were happy to see it recover so quickly.Â
âAh well, I figured Angelina wouldnât keep her mouth shut.â He shrugged, âThough I swear if I had a choice I would have knocked her off her broom instead.âÂ
And for the first time that evening jealousy took you strongly, âOh yeah? I suppose she would have been a bit more fun to catch then?âÂ
Fred looked startled by your bristly reaction, âNah,â He responded, âThat would have been Georgieâs job.âÂ
You were satisfied with this answer and felt yourself leaning against him as you began up towards the tower.
George was delighted to see you still tucked beneath his brother's arm when you reached the common room. He called you over to where he sat and you placed yourself in a large squishy armchair as Fred perched himself beside you on an ottoman.Â
You spent your evening rather uneventfully, finishing an essay for Snape as the Gryffindors slowly filtered off to bed in pairs. When George rose to take himself to the dormitory you expected Fred to follow but instead he stayed rooted by your feet where he now sat cross legged on the carpet looking over what looked like an extensive order form.Â
Hours later you yawned, stretching when you finally finished your work. It was now well past midnight and only a few fifth years remained, cramming for a quiz in transfiguration the next day. You turned to look at Fred who had long since sprawled himself across the couch before the fire and found him snoring softly.Â
A jolt of infatuation made your stomach flip. His messy hair glowed shockingly bright in the fire light, his pink lips slightly agape. You gathered your things slowly, sure not to wake him before you stood beside him.
You knew you should wake him, you were the reason he had not retreated to bed after all. But he looked so peaceful like this, so soft. Instead you found yourself slowly counting the freckles that sprawled across his cheeks, leaning close to brush a strand of his bright red hair out of his face. He woke immediately at your touch, large brown eyes locking with your own.
You felt your cheeks go hot, âYou should go up to bed.â You mumbled beginning to pull away.Â
He snatched your wrist with such haste it took you by surprise, âDo that again.â he spoke.
You furrowed your brow, âWhat?âÂ
âWith my hair,â It was his turn to blush now, âTouch my hair again.âÂ
It felt as though the air was sucked from your lungs yet you found yourself obeying, fingers coming to comb through the soft waves that spread across his forehead.Â
He hummed, leaning into your touch slowly, gaze still locked with yours. The two of you stayed there for a moment, you kneeling beside him fingers in his hair, his hand still loosely wrapped around your wrist.Â
âIâm sorry.â He murmured and you looked at him confused.Â
âFor what?âÂ
âHitting you with a bludger.â he responded remorsefully.Â
You laughed softly, your head thrown back, âIt's okay Fred.â you grinned. You were close now, so close Fred could feel the tickle of your breath on his cheek, âI forgive you. You made up for it after all.âÂ
He smirked in spite of himself, âI suppose I did, saving your life and all.âÂ
You were giggling again and Fred was sure he was in some beautiful dream where all he could ever hear or see was your joy.Â
âI wouldnât push your luck if I were you.â You grinned, âI may just chuck the quaffle at your head when you're not looking.âÂ
âOnly if you catch me when I fall.â Fred whispered, leaning closer still.Â
You let him, your lips connecting slowly. You were pleased to find he was a fantastic kisser, his lips soft and plush, eager to please. His free hand cupped your cheek as he pulled you closer still until you were practically on top of him.
One of the alarm clocks the fifth years had been attempting to turn to roosters burst to life and you pulled away abruptly remembering bitterly that you and him were not the only ones in the room. Fred chased after your lips with his own desperate for even a moment more with your mouth.
âYou should get to bed.â You repeated standing now, knees a bit shaky.Â
Fred was disappointed by your departure but grinned wildly nonetheless as you gathered your books into your arms and turned back to him.Â
âIâll see you tomorrow Fred.â You yawned and began up the stairs to your dormitory determined not to let him see the childish glee that had spread across your face.Â
âWait!â He called after you, lurching from the couch and stopping at the bottom of the steps.Â
You turned back to him taking in the wonderful sight of him staring lovingly up at you. He looked delightfully disheveled, his hair a mess and his lips swollen from your touch. You took two steps down now only one above where he stood on the hardwood floor.
You looked down at him expectantly as his eyes bore into your own.Â
He lifted himself onto his toes and grabbed your shoulders forcinging you forward where you connected for a second time.Â
This time his breath was hot and heavy on your lips, his earnest intensifying to a level that you could only describe as hunger. Your feet dangled momentarily in the air as he lifted you fervently into his embrace. You were suddenly engulfed in Fred again, he was all you could smell sweet and cinnamon, all you could hear were his pants in your ear, all you could feel was him, his arms around your middle, his thigh pressed between your legs and his lips and tongue working so well together that it was you who chased after him this time, whining in protest when he pulled back.
You stared at him, out of breath and stunned to silence.Â
Fred looked as though he had just won something very expensive the way he was grinning with triumph, his eyes dark with lust.Â
 âSweet dreams love.â He murmured leaning down to give you one final kiss, his lips moving sickeningly slow against your own, wet and warm. He hovered inches form your lips for a moment, as if debating diving back in, before he backed away tucking his hands casually into his robes.
âYou should go to bed, love.â He smirked, âWeâve got an early practice tomorrow and I do believe you made me a promise about knocking me off my broom.âÂ
You bit your lip to keep from breaking into girlish giggles. Your heart was still pounding as though you had just run a long race.Â
âOnly if you swear to catch me though.â He added with a wink.
âIâll always catch you Freddie.â you assured him before turning and hurrying back up the stairs, grinning so wide your cheeks had begun to ache.
âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~âĄ~
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Honey Girl.
Synopsis - The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the Universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.
Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au
Age Rating - 18+
Word Count - 5.1k
Warnings - cursing. sexual content towards the end. mild alcohol consumption. age gap. smut in next chapter(s).
Author's Note - part one is finally here!! thank you so much to everyone who asked to be tagged, and who liked and reblogged the masterlist. i am SO excited to share this with you. i've built this world in my head and trust me it is gorgeous - salty ocean breezes, sunsoaked sailboats and billowing white linen shirts. i hope you can lose yourself in my little seaside town with bucky for the time it takes you to read this, just as i did while writing it. i can't wait to write more of this series for you x
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Masterlist. Requests. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.
Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Five. Chapter Six. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight.
Tethering /tÉĂ°(É)rÉȘĆ/
An event in which two soulmates are bound together forever. Only occurs when the Universe decides it is time. No sooner, no later.
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
The gentle ocean breeze gives you a moment of respite from the scorching sun that's beating down. You're half asleep, laying on the cool tile of your balcony when your phone rings.
"Babe! Babe! Babe!"
"Lacie? Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"I am freaking out right now, oh my god. I didn't know who to call. You'll never guess what just happened to me!"
You can guess. In fact, you already have.
Lacie's Tethering. It's finally happened.
You're taught, growing up, that your Tethering is the biggest moment of your life. It shapes who you are forever. Sets you on your eternal path. You're presented with your soulmate in a big display of love and affection and metaphorical fireworks. It's supposed to be magical.
You wish people would shut up about it.
The World seems to be split into two categories - the people that have been Tethered, and the people that haven't.
You fall into the latter.
You're repeatedly told it'll happen one day. It'll happen when the time is right. It'll happen when you least expect it.
You're not sure you ever want it to happen.
The idea that the Universe determines the person you're with forever has never sat right with you. What happened to free will? What happened to personal preference? You believe you should at least have a choice in the matter. It's your future, after all.
Not everyone shares the same sentiment.
"Babe, you still there?"
Lacie's excitement filled voice pulls you back to reality.
"Yeah, I'm here."
"Are you busy? Can you meet me for coffee, like, now?"
You take a deep breath and plaster a fake smile on your face.
"Sure. I'll see you in ten."
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
"Oh my god babe, it was just incredible! You won't even believe it. There's nothing like it, truly."
You remind yourself quickly that Lacie is your best friend, and that you owe it to her to be happy for her. Personal feelings about soulmates aside.
"Tell me all about it, Lace!" you encourage, grabbing a hold of her hand excitedly.
The blonde girl squeals before shuffling closer to you, pressing her knees against yours.
"Okay, so. Picture this. I'm at my gym, doing my usual routine. I'm wearing my super cute pink Lulu Lemon set, you know the one with the flowers?"
She waits for you to nod in affirmation before she continues.
"So, I accidentally drop a weight on the ground, and it makes the biggest noise. I'm super embarrassed, and I'm trying to pick it up, but it's so heavy. And then, the hottest guy I have ever seen appears. Like, seriously gorgeous."
As much as you despise the whole soulmate thing, you can't deny how happy Lacie seems. She's almost vibrating with it, bouncing up and down in her seat.
"He comes over and picks it up for me, sets in back on the rack. And then he introduces himself, and shakes my hand, and it happened."
"What was it like?" you smile, eager for her to carry on.
"Like fucking magic."
You've heard that before. A million times. From literally everyone. Surely it can't be that magical if billions of people have experienced it.
"Magic?" you prompt.
"It is indescribable, babe. It's like... it's like everything just falls into place. Like everything finally makes sense!"
She jumps out of her chair, hugging you tightly. She's practically sat on your lap in the coffee shop, but neither of you really care.
"So, what's his name? What's he like?"
"His name is Cameron. He's new in town, he just moved here for work. He's a personal trainer, so he's like, super fit. And gorgeous. Did I mention gorgeous?"
"Maybe once or twice," you laugh.
"I'm so happy," Lacie whispers, emotion choking her voice. "I can't believe it finally happened. This is the day I've been waiting for since I was a little girl."
You hug her tighter, and ignore the look you get from the barista.
"I love you," she declares, suddenly serious. "You know that me being Tethered now doesn't change that, right?"
"I know," you confirm. "I love you too, Lace. I'm really happy for you."
You genuinely mean it. Lacie has talked about meeting her soulmate every day since you met her in the 3rd grade. You may have never quite shared her enthusiasm, but you admire her passion. And you adore her, more than anyone.
"So, what now? Are you gonna get married tomorrow and run off into the sunset?"
"I'm choosing to ignore your sarcasm because I know you're using it as a coping mechanism," she tells you pointedly. "And I know that there's a tiny part of you that wishes you'd been Tethered already, so you don't have to deal with everyone talking to you about it."
Jackpot. She's read you like a book.
"No, we're not getting married tomorrow," she rolls her eyes before continuing, "but we are going on a real date tonight. We're gonna get dinner and get to know each other. Isn't this crazy? I'm going on a date with the guy I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life with!"
"That is kinda crazy, actually," you laugh. "What are you gonna wear?"
"It doesn't matter - we're going to be together forever anyway!"
You make Lacie promise to send you a picture of her outfit as you're leaving the coffee shop, which she agrees to with glee. On your way home, you pick up some of your Mom's favourite wine, and prepare yourself for another soulmate based conversation that will inevitably happen when you tell your parents the events of the day at dinner tonight.
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
"Hi, sweetheart!" your Dad beams as you step through the front door of your childhood home.
"Hey, Dad," you greet, allowing him to pull you in for a hug. "Where's Mom? I brought wine."
"Kitchen," he gestures with a nod of his head. "She's making that mango dessert you like."
Walking into your Mother's kitchen is like dipping your feet into a pool on a scorching hot day. The windows are propped open, curtains billowing softly in the wind. The ocean breeze drifts through the room, ruffling your Mom's dress and floating the hair away from her face. The evening sun beams in, illuminating the space with a golden glow. It smells like fresh fruit, mint, and salt water. It's a haven.
"Hi, Mama."
"Oh, my love! Just in time. I was about to call you to see if you were alright."
She makes her way over to you and kisses you on the head swiftly, before walking to the cabinet to grab wine glasses.
"Sorry I'm a little later than I said. I changed my outfit three times - it's warmer than I thought it was going to be."
"I know! Summer, finally. We've been waiting long enough."
She takes the bottle of wine from your hand and pours it into the glasses.
"You've poured four, Mama."
"Didn't your Dad tell you? Bucky's joining us for dinner."
"Oh. No, he didn't mention anything."
"He's back from his vacation. He promised he'd show us all of the pictures he took!"
She grabs the glasses and floats out of the room, leaving you alone in the kitchen, thoughts of Bucky Barnes swirling around like dust in the sunlight.
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky.
Your Dad's best friend.
They met a few years ago, when Bucky moved to town. He said he was looking for something quieter, sick of city living. He wanted to slow down a bit, finally take a breath.
He was out for a run around town, getting his bearings, when he stopped your Dad on the driveway to ask about his car. They bonded over their love for motorcycles and vintage vehicles, and the rest is history.
Bucky's been a regular fixture in your life for so long, you can't remember a time before. All you know, is that it was probably a little more peaceful. His boyish charm is infectious, bringing out the youth in your Dad. They're like teenagers, when they're together. Long lost frat brothers, your Mom jokes.
She's got a soft spot for him. Most people do. It might have something to do with the fact he's devastatingly handsome.
It's no secret that Bucky Barnes is a ladies man. He is without even trying. He's charming, gorgeous, funny in all the right ways. He's mysterious, but not disarming. Tough, but not scary. Rebellious, but not a liability. He's a catch.
A catch, with a taste for beautiful women.
Your Dad always jokes that he's the towns most eligible bachelor. You can't count on two hands the amount of women you know that have dated him - but nothing seems to stick. He isn't Tethered, after all.
Some people choose not to date, if they haven't met their soulmate. They wait and wait, and when the time comes, they're complete. Others take pleasure in dating before it happens. Might as well make the most of the freedom, Bucky said once. You can't help but agree.
Might as well make the most of the freedom.
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
"Hey, buddy!" you hear from the hallway. You make your way out of the kitchen to be met with the sight of Bucky, sun-kissed and practically glowing. His hair has a few light streaks from the sun, and the faint freckles on his cheeks are more prominent now. His steel blue eyes meet yours, mischief rife in them.
"Hi, honey," he greets, draping an arm around your shoulders. He kisses you on the cheek, light stubble scratching your skin. You throw an arm around his back and look up at him.
"There's no way this tan is natural," you tease, nudging him slightly.
"It makes me even more gorgeous, doesn't it?" he jokes, winking at you. He squeezes your shoulder before letting go, grabbing a bottle of wine from his bag.
"I brought your favourite, Lori."
"So did I," you echo, laughing.
"Great minds, honey. Great minds!"
"You can never have too much wine," your Mom yells out from the kitchen doorway. "Bring it in here, Buck. I'll put it in the refrigerator."
"Yes ma'am," he obliges, making his way to her with a smile on his face.
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
"Guess what happened today," you begin, in between bites of your strawberry salad.
The three of them look at you intently, urging you to continue.
"Lacie got Tethered."
"How exciting!" your Mom squeals.
"That's a long time coming," Bucky chimes in. You look at him and smirk.
"Tell me about it."
"Here we go," your Dad smiles. "Our two anti soulmate protestors."
"Don't make it sound so political," Bucky laughs. "She's the only one that gets it."
"I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it again. Just. You. Wait," your Mom lectures. "The two of you don't get it."
"Magic, fireworks, eternal love, blah blah blah. Trust me, I get it."
"She gets it," Bucky echoes. "And so do I. The Universe decides our fate, and we get no choice whatsoever. I don't believe in it, is all. I have no faith in the system. I should get to choose."
"But you feel like you are choosing," your Dad defends. "It didn't feel like it was being determined for me. It's hard to explain."
"It's just so... backwards," you justify. "I can't believe we live in a Universe where we have all the choices in the world, but don't get to choose the person we spend the rest of our lives with."
"It's worked out pretty well for us," your Mom smiles.
And it has. The first thing anyone notices when they meet your parents is that they are undeniably in love. You've never met two people more perfect for each other - which should solidify your belief in the Universe, really. But it doesn't. You can't explain where your lack of faith in it came from. It just appeared one day, and you haven't been able to shake it since. You're grateful every day to have two Tethered, happy, smitten parents. You've seen how hard it is for people with Untethered Mothers and Fathers. The judgment, the uncertainty, the hushed whispers. It sounds unbearable.
"Yes it did," your Dad confirms, shaking you from your thoughts. He reaches for your Mom's hand and kisses the back of it tenderly, eyes never once leaving hers. You look to Bucky next to you, who smiles at you gently. Feelings about soulmates aside, the both of you love these two people sat across the table with all your heart.
"Trust me, sweetheart," your Mom begins. "I know you're against the idea now - God knows I was the same at your age. But when it happens, you'll forget about all of your rebellion. You'll just be happy."
You nod in agreement, praying for the conversation to be over. As if he can read your mind, Bucky pipes up.
"Let me show you some pictures from Italy. I did promise I would."
You shoot him a grateful look before picking up your empty wine glass and making your way to the kitchen for a refill.
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
The dining room is now lit solely by candlelight, wax dripping onto the white lace tablecloth like condensation on a cold glass. The sun fell asleep hours ago, the four of you enjoying each others company with no regard for time.
"Oh, shit. It's late," your Dad says suddenly.
"You got big late night plans?" you tease.
"We have Clara and Mike's wedding at the weekend, so we're flying out tomorrow. We should probably get some sleep, so we're not exhausted."
Your Mom rises from her chair and kisses you on the head, before grabbing the dessert bowls from the table. Your Dad helps, smiling every time his hand brushes hers accidentally.
"Thanks for coming, kiddo. Your place next week?"
"Of course. I think I'll try that salmon recipe you sent me."
"Can't wait," your Dad assures you, giving you a one sided hug. He squeezes you once before letting you go to grab your shoes.
You can hear your parents saying their goodbyes to Bucky as you tie your laces, smoothing out the skirt of your dress as you stand. They all join you in the hallway, Bucky leaning over to grab his jacket from behind you. Fuck, he smells good.
"Have a great time at the wedding, you guys. Send me pictures, please!" you say as you hug your Mom goodbye.
"We will! Drive home safe, the both of you!"
They shut the door softly, leaving you and Bucky stood on the porch. The evening air chills your bare legs, salt in the breeze sticking to your lips.
"Where's your car?" he asks, looking around.
"Oh, I walked. It was a nice day, and I'm trying to be a little greener. Save the planet, and all," you chuckle.
"You want a ride, then?" he offers, leaning against the side of his truck.
"Uh - maybe," you hesitate, shifting your weight from foot to foot. You feel antsy, for some reason. There's a buzz flowing through your veins, making you a little restless.
"Maybe?" he smirks.
"I just, I'm not sure if I wanna go home yet. It might be that I've had three glasses of wine, but I'm kinda... jittery? Think I need to burn off some energy. Maybe I'll walk home."
"Like hell you will," he grumbles.
You quirk a brow in confusion.
"It's dark, and all those college kids are in town on their break. I don't trust 'em."
You fight to keep the grin off your face. You weirdly like it when Bucky gets protective. He's always so calm, so relaxed - it takes a lot to rile him up. He looks hot with a clenched jaw.
"Why don't we go somewhere?"
"Where?" you ask tentatively.
"I don't know," he thinks for a second. "How about the beach?"
You smile, gazing at him with a twinkle in your eyes.
"I fucking love the beach."
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
The ocean waves break the shore steadily, the repetitive pattern calming you both. You're sat on the sand, grains slipping through your hands where you're pouring it out through your fingers. The light of the moon reflects off the surface of the sea, illuminating the abandoned cove. It's just you, Bucky, and the night sky.
The alcohol in your system has evened you out, warm buzz keeping you sheltered from the chill. Bucky's stretched out next to you, strong arms folded underneath his head. His shirt rides up slightly, exposing a slither of sun kissed skin. You pretend not to notice his Adonis belt, or the little trail of hair that leads down into his waistband.
The silence is easy, comfortable. You don't get to hang out like this often, just the two of you. It's nice.
A notification on your phone breaks through the tranquility. You both flinch.
"Sorry," you mutter, checking the screen. "It's Lacie, telling me about her perfect date."
He chuckles lowly at your tone, sitting up to look at you.
"This is hard for you, isn't it?" he asks. "You hate the whole soulmate thing, but you like seeing her happy."
Bingo. It's like he's read your mind.
"I don't know why I hate it so much" you confess quietly. "It's a part of life. I can't avoid it. I just think - what if... what if I'm like, the exception, or something? What if I never meet my soulmate - or - what if I meet them when I'm like, seventy? That happens, you know! And then I'll be fucking cursed to spend my entire life feeling like this."
"And what is this?"
"Hopeless. That's what this is. I just feel pretty fucking hopeless."
You're not sure why you're baring your soul to Bucky tonight. You could blame the wine, but you know that's not what it is. Maybe it's because he seems to be the only one that understands.
"Me too," he whispers.
You whip your head around to stare at him in shock. He laughs at the look on your face, and continues.
"You're young - you have time. I'm forty in a couple of years. Every single one of my friends is married to their soulmate - except for me."
You bite at your lip nervously, but refuse to tear your eyes away from his steel blue ones. His face is lit by the glow from the moon, and it takes your breath away for a second. He looks almost ethereal.
"You always act so... unbothered. I didn't realise... I guess I just, I didn't -" you try to gather your thoughts before continuing. "This fucking sucks, huh?"
He laughs with his whole chest, and you're convinced the sound is so special, so rare, that you should bottle it. Sell it as medicine. It'd cure anything, you're sure of it.
"Yeah, it does," he agrees with a chuckle. "It's the waiting around that's the worst part. The unknown. It could be minutes, it could be decades. I just don't know."
"At least for now, we have each other," you joke.
"Every cloud has a silver lining, huh?" he teases, nudging you with his shoulder.
You allow your weight to press into his side a little, leaning in. He's warm, and he's familiar, and in this moment, he understands you better than anyone else in the world.
"We'll be okay, honey," he murmurs. "It'll all work out the way it's supposed to."
You close your eyes, and allow his words and the breaking waves to calm your nerves. Bucky wraps an arm around you, and all the tension melts from your muscles.
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
You're not sure if it's the honest conversation, or the brisk ocean breeze, but you've sobered up in record time. Your body registers this, and sends a shiver down your spine.
"You cold?" Bucky asks you. "You wanna go home?"
"Not yet," you whisper. "Not yet."
He shrugs off his worn brown leather jacket and slips it over your shoulders. It smells so strongly of him that it makes you dizzy. Bucky settles back down in his original place, returning his arm to where it was draped over you. His rough fingertips rub patterns into the material that now covers your arms, and you wish, for a fleeting moment, that it was your bare skin instead.
"You been working on anything new recently?" he enquires in a hushed tone, careful not to ruin the atmosphere.
"I made a damn good batch of macarons yesterday," you reply, beaming smile etched across your face. "Raspberry and lemon. I'll bring you some, next time I pass the Garage. You're gonna love them."
"You know, I think the only reason I ever get Mechanic of the Month is because you bring by all of your sweet treats."
You laugh melodiously, and the sound makes Bucky's heart stutter in his chest without warning.
"Happy to be of service," you tease. "I take requests, too, if you ever want something specific. Just let me know."
"You're the best, sugar."
You sink into Bucky's hold a little, daring to rest your head on his shoulder. When he doesn't stop you, you exhale, and relax even more.
"Are you working tomorrow?" he asks.
"Nope. You?"
"Nah. I'm going sailing, finally. It's been way too fuckin' long," he grumbles. "Your Dad's usually my right hand man, but he'll be in Ohio. You wanna come?"
The idea of laying on the deck of a boat in the blazing sunshine with a shirtless Bucky Barnes sounds like heaven. Who could say no to an offer like that?
"Yeah, of course. I'll bring a picnic, if you like. It's the least I can do."
"Sounds perfect," he replies, squeezing your shoulder.
Suddenly, he rises to his feet, extending a hand out to you. You grab it, and he pulls you up, the both of you shaking sand off yourselves.
"It's late, and dark, and a little cold. You ready to go?"
You nod your head, and make your way over to his truck, ignoring the heat that blooms over your chest when he opens the passenger door for you before his own.
â” â”  ·ă â” ăă * · â”
"Thank you, for tonight," you say as he pulls up in front of your apartment building.
"Thank you," he replies, killing the engine. "It's nice to have you back, you know. Wondered if you were gonna finish college and stay out there in California. Thought we might not see you again."
He almost sounds... relieved. The idea that he might have missed you if you didn't return effects you more than it should.
"I liked it there, but... I don't know. My family's here. I'm only twenty three. I've got time to move around the country. I missed this place too much when I was away."
"Never thought I'd hear you say that," he chuckles.
"I know, trust me. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder."
"Yeah, they say a lot of fuckin' things," he jokes.
Bucky swings his door open, hopping down from the drivers seat. He makes his way over to your side, holding out a hand so you can jump out.
"Careful," he warns. "It's higher than it looks."
You grab his hand, and step onto the metal sill. Your foot slips slightly, sending you tumbling down and forward, out of the truck. Luckily, Bucky catches you, one hand in yours, other on your hip.
"Woah, easy. You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good," you breathe.
He places his hands on your cheeks and cradles your face, searching for any signs of distress. You place your palms over his, silently reassuring him.
And then, it happens.
Warm, golden, molten electricity surges through your veins, lighting up each and every one of your nerve endings. Your surroundings explode into glorious technicolour, everything suddenly brighter and more vibrant. It feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest, only to be replaced by one that beats in a slightly different rhythm. There's flowers blooming in your ribcage, new life happening inside of you. You catch eyes with Bucky, expecting to see his stormy blue ones looking back at you. Instead, all you see is your future.
Vivid, flashing images of Bucky Barnes fill your mind, each one of them tinted with a warm, rosy hue. You feel like you're being reinvented. Your skin is alive, hyperaware of the way Bucky's palms are still gently cupping your cheeks. Your fingertips tingle with anticipation where they rest on his, itching to touch every inch of him. You feel as if the oxygen has been stolen from your lungs, and replaced with love.
Your knees are the first to buckle, the weight of the moment taking you down. You hit the ground, and so does Bucky, his palms not once leaving your face. You're both kneeling on the warm concrete, ocean waves providing a distant soundtrack. Blood is rushing in your ears, and you wonder for a second if you're about to pass out. You squeeze Bucky's hands so hard, it's a miracle you don't break his fingers. He squeezes back, eyes locked on one another.
After what feels like an eternity, you both break out of your reverie. You lean forward, resting your forehead against Bucky's, both of you panting.
You're trying to catch your breath unsuccessfully. You move one of your hands to rest on Bucky's chest, right on his heart. You swear the steady beat of it spells out your name.
He mirrors you, and moves his own hand to rest above your frantic heart, the other still glued to your cheek. You both breathe, in and out, trying to match each other. When you finally do, it's as if time stops. It's just you and Bucky. One heartbeat. One soul.
You break away from him to look into his eyes again. They look different, you think. He looks different.
He gazes back at you, cheeks flushed and chest heaving. The moonlight dances off your faces, illuminating the moment both your lives changed forever.
"It's you," he breathes in disbelief.
A laugh escapes your chest, surprising you both. He chuckles with you, and before you know it, the both of you are in hysterics, sitting on the sidewalk at three in the morning.
"Of course it's me," you giggle. "The two people that hate soulmates, Tethered together. You couldn't write it."
Bucky grins at you, clutching at his stomach.
You both take a breath, and realise your surroundings. Bucky gets up first, heaving you up by your arms. He towers over you, suddenly close. Not close enough, you decide. Never close enough.
You lunge forward and crash your lips to his. Bucky instinctively wraps one arm around your back, moving his other hand to hold you by the back of your neck. He tastes like salt and spearmint and every kiss for the rest of your life.
Bucky presses himself into you, attempting to tangle your bodies together. He wants to feel every inch of you against his skin, willing you to come closer. He aches to climb into you, sew himself into your ribcage. He'd be content to live there, beating your heart, forever.
You whine, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring eagerly. You tilt your head back, and fist your hands into his shirt, plastering yourself to his front. He shoves his thigh in between your legs, the rough denim a welcome contrast to your soft skin. You buck your hips forward, and the friction is so delicious it makes you dizzy. You've never been kissed like this. It's almost feral. You're both surrendering to your fates, giving in to the animalistic urges coursing through you.
A seagull caws on a nearby street lamp, and the sound makes you both jump. You suddenly realise your scenario. Your Dad's best friend, who also happens to be your soulmate, has you pressed against his truck in the street, kissing you like he's running out of air and you're his only oxygen source. If it goes any further, you'll both get arrested for public indecency.
"Fuck, sugar," he murmurs against your mouth. "My pretty girl. My honey."
"My soulmate," you whisper.
The reality of it comes crashing down like a tsunami, drenching the both of you.
Bucky kisses you again, gentler this time. The tenderness makes you want to cry.
"What do we do now?" you mumble, fear coating your voice.
He senses your trepidation instantly. He feels it, actually, right in the front of his chest. It's like you suddenly share one body. There's no guessing, anymore. He knows exactly how you feel.
He takes a deep breath, trying to settle his building anxiety. He knows that if he stays calm, you'll stay calm. That's how Tethering works, right? He has to keep it together for the both of you, despite the panic that's rising in him, vibrating in his bones.
"How about... how about we both go to bed, get some sleep - and then we go sailing, later on today, just like we planned? And no matter what, we take everything one step at a time."
"One step at a time," you repeat, attempting to pacify you both.
"We'll figure it out," he reassures. "I know we will."
You find the will to step apart, which proves harder than you thought. It's like Bucky's an anchor - fastening you to peace, to happiness, to serenity. The more distance you put between your bodies, the more unsettled you feel. When you're not touching him, it's as if everything becomes unsteady, more difficult. You feel like you're on a rogue sailboat, battling the waves, threatened to be thrown overboard. Bucky is your lifevest, your lighthouse in the dark night. You're not sure how you're supposed to live your life any more than two feet away from him at all times.
You breathe, and smooth down your dress, running your fingers through your hair. You reach out and adjust Bucky's shirt where it's been wrinkled due to your tight grip.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," he murmurs, fingers tangling around your own.
"Goodnight, Buck," you echo.
He leans in to press a chaste kiss to your lips, savouring the taste of your cherry lip balm. He wraps his arms around you, unable to resist. Bucky breathes you in deeply, smiling uncontrollably. Nudging your nose with his, he murmurs gently against your mouth.
"My honey girl."
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Shadows and Starlight
Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: You and Mor return from a long mission on the Continent. Nine Months have passed since your departure and you couldn't wait to reunite with your best friend, a best friend you'd had a crush on for centuries. Only that Azriel wasn't there when you returned home. He would only return on Starfall.
Part 02
Word count: 4.5K
Warnings: A little spice at the end there. But honestly just a little! Otherwise Fluff, Reader being part of the IC!! I have not proof-read it yet.
A/N: Well, hello there! I have never posted writing for this Fandom before, so I truly hope it is enjoyable and finds it's people. Overall, I haven't really been posting on this blog in ages and felt inspired. I would love to write a second part if this is received well. This isn't proofread yet, I will do that eventually, so I apologize for possible errors. Please let me know what you think and feel free to drop into my inbox.
â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â
The night was cool and crisp as you and Mor made your way through the streets of Velaris, the city lights casting a warm glow over the cobblestone streets. Returning to Velaris had been a relief, the mission Rhys had sent you on should have taken no longer than six weeks, lastly spanning nine months that felt like an eternity. What should have been a rather quick trip to the Continent turned out to be far more complicated than anticipated. You were supposed to look into the whereabouts of a magical artifact while Mor should keep up her work as emissary. What you did not take into account whatsoever was the uprising conflict between two of their biggest noble houses, which complicated things. Trust was not easy to come by. Diplomats and Mediators by day and treasure hunters by night. Of course, you also had plenty of time to bask in the sunlight, smothering heat seeping into the marrow of your bones. Even with Mor by your side, there had been moments of homesickness that gnawed at your heart, a longing for the familiar comforts of home that seemed to grow with each passing day.
But now, as you made your way through the streets of Velaris, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you. The city was alive with the buzz of activity, its streets bustling with life and energy. Even the stars seemed to shine and twinkle brighter than usually, welcoming you back. It was good to be home. As you stepped into the grand foyer of the House of Wind, you felt a rush of nostalgia wash over you. Albite nine months were nothing for Fae, you had missed this. The scent of fresh bread filled the air, no doubt made by Elain. A soft smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the familiarity, your shoulders relaxing slightly.
Mor wasted no time in making herself comfortable, stomping off to the sitting room and throwing herself onto the chaise with a dramatic sigh. You couldn't help but chuckle at her antics. As she settled into the plush pillows, you perched yourself on the edge of the nearby armchair, your gaze drifting to the flickering flames in the hearth. The crackling fire cast dancing shadows across the room, its warmth a comforting embrace after the long journey home. "So, what is on your mind?" Mor's voice broke through the silence, her eyes fluttering open as she regarded you with a curious expression. You let out a soft sigh, your thoughts drifting back to the tribulations of your time overseas. "It was... intense," you replied, voice tinged with a hint of weariness. "So much happened.â You groaned then. âCauldron boil me, I really donât want to fill out that mission reportâŠâ Mor nodded in understanding, a sympathetic smile playing on her lips. "I can imagine, me neither" she said, her tone filled with empathy. "But Rhys will not push us. He probably missed us as much as we missed him. Itâs been a while after all.â
You smiled gratefully at her words, a sense of relief washing over you. "Yeah, you're right," you agreed, your spirits lifting at the thought of being back in Velaris once more. Back home. You fell into a comfortable silence then, the crackling fire the only sound echoing in the room. But beneath the surface, you felt a restlessness stirring within yourselfâa longing to see him, to feel the familiar comfort of his presence. Obviously you missed the entirety of your family wholly. Definitely not thinking about one person more than the others. At least that is what you told yourself.
"I'm going to check on Az," you said suddenly, your voice breaking the silence. "I haven't seen him in a whileâŠ" Mor raised an eyebrow inquisitively, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Really now? Here I thought we saw none of them in a while." she teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Missing someone, are we?" You felt a blush creeping into your cheeks at Mor's teasing tone, but you brushed it off with a playful roll of your eyes. "Don't be ridiculous," you retorted, though the fluttering in your chest betrayed your true feelings. With a playful wink, Mor waved you off, her attention already drifting back to the warmth of the fire. "Go on then," she said, her voice soft but encouraging. "I'll be here when you get back." And with that, you rose from your seat and made your way to Azriel's room, your heart fluttering with anticipation at the thought of seeing him again after so long. With a sense of anticipation bubbling in your chest, you picked up your pace subconsciously, your steps quick and eager. You had grown so close over the years, so comfortable in each other's company, that knocking on doors had become a formality you rarely bothered with anymore- and even if you usually still found yourself knocking from time to time, you just were too excited.
But as you pushed open the door to Azriel's room, your heart sank at the sight of the empty space before you. The room was quiet and still, save for the faint scent of cedar that lingered in the airâa stark reminder of the Male you had missed so much. Disappointment tugged at your heart as you surveyed the deserted room, your lips curling into a soft frown. It was Starfall in just a few days, you really thought, hoped, heâd be here when you returned. Before you could dwell on your thoughts any longer, a familiar voice broke through the silence, startling you. "So, Y/N, are you finally going to confess your undying love for my brother?" he quipped, his tone laced with amusement. You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at the corners of your lips now as you threw yourself into Cassian's awaiting arms. You had missed him, missed all of them, but the absence of Azriel weighed heavily on your heart somehow. After you pull away from your embrace, Cassian offers you a kind smile, his eyes warm with understanding.
"Hey, just so you know, Az has been on a mission for the past few days," The tall Illyrian says gently, his tone filled with reassurance. "But he should be back before Starfall." You feel a surge of relief at the news, your heart fluttering with anticipation at the thought of seeing Azriel again. You waited nine months, you could wait a few more days. "Thank you, Cass," you says sincerely, gratitude shining in your eyes. Then the tall male shifts on his foot, raising an eyebrow in mock offense, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes. "Hey now, Y/N, I hope you're not just excited to see Az," he says with a dramatic sigh, placing a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "I mean, I know I'm not as brooding and mysterious as our Shadowsinger, but a little appreciation for your favorite warrior wouldn't hurt." You roll your eyes again with a grin, shaking your head at Cassian's antics. "Oh, please, Cass. You know you're my second favorite warrior," you quip, your tone teasing as you give him a playful shove. You share a moment of laughter before Cassian's expression turns more serious, his gaze softening as he looks at you with genuine concern. "How was the mission? Everything okay?"
Nodding, your smile faltering slightly as you recall the challenges you faced overseas. "It was... intense, to say the least. But we made it back in one piece, thanks to Mor and her quick thinking."
Cassian nods in understanding, his expression reflecting his relief. "Well, I'm glad you're both safe. We'll have to celebrate your return properly, once you've had a chance to rest." Humming you find yourself relaxing into the familiar warmth of his company. You nod in agreement then. âYeah, Rhys always has something up his sleeve for Starfall,â you say, voice tinged with anticipation. âI can only imagine what he has planned for this year.â Both of you fall into comfortable silence for a moment. Only when a yawn claws itself up your throat and past your lips does Cassian speak again. âDoes Rhys know youâre back?â His gaze is gentle in the way he looks at you, it was easy to tell that the oaf missed you just as much.
Stretching your tired muscles slightly, you nod hastily. "Yeah, you should have seen his face when he came barging into the kitchen and saw us drink tea with Feyre." A soft chuckle leaves him then, and you share a knowing grin as you both recall similar situations.
Making your way down the hall, you find Mor fast asleep on the chaise lounge in the sitting room, her features relaxed in slumber. Cassian retrieves a soft blanket from the nearby cupboard and gently drapes it over Mor's sleeping form, his movements gentle and caring.
You settle into the chairs nearby, he joins you, and the two of you engage in light conversation, catching up on the latest developments with Nesta and the Valkyrie. You share stories and anecdotes, laughter punctuating the quiet of the night as you relish in each other's company. Eventually, exhaustion catches up with you, and you bid Cassian goodnight before retreating to your own chambers for some much-needed rest.
As you settle into bed, your mind can't help but wander towards Azriel. Despite the exhaustion weighing heavy on your limbs, thoughts of him linger at the forefront of your mind, like whispers in the darkness. You can't help but wonder how he's been faring on his mission, what trials and tribulations he's faced in your absence. A pang of guilt tugs at your heart as you realize that you hadn't even sent word of your return, leaving him in the dark about your whereabouts. Closing your eyes, you try to push aside the worry and uncertainty that gnaws at your thoughts, focusing instead on the memory of his warm smile and steady presence. You find solace in the thought of seeing him again, of being reunited with the friend who has always been a steady anchor in your life. With a soft sigh, you let the rhythmic sound of your breathing lull you into a state of calm, allowing yourself to drift into a restless sleep filled with dreams of starlit skies and whispered promises. And as sleep claims you, you hold onto the hope that tomorrow will bring with it the long-awaited reunion you've been yearning for.
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The next days pass in a blur, the absence of Azriel weighing heavily on your heart despite the moments of joy spent with your family. You find solace in the familiar routines of daily life, in the laughter and chatter of your loved ones gathered together in the warmth of the House of Wind.
Mornings are filled with shared meals and lively conversation, the scent of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the aroma of freshly baked pastries. On the day before Starfall you find yourself amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life in Velaris, as you join Feyre, Mor, and Nesta for a day of dress shopping. The air is filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the tantalizing aroma of freshly baked goods, adding to the festive atmosphere of the day.
As you weave through the throngs of people, your eyes alight on a quaint boutique youâre all too familiar with, nestled between two bustling shops. Its windows are adorned with elegant gowns in every shade of the rainbow, their silken fabrics shimmering in the sunlight.
With a shared glance and a knowing smile, you make your way inside, greeted by the tinkling of bells and the warm smile of the shopkeeper. The interior of the boutique is a veritable treasure trove of fashion, with racks of dresses in every style and design imaginable. As you browse through the racks, your eyes are drawn to a stunning gown in a shade of deep midnight blue, its bodice adorned with delicate lace and sparkling sequins. It catches the light in such a way that it seems to shimmer and dance with every movement, and you can't help but feel drawn to it.
Feyre picks up a flowing gown in a shade of pale lavender, holding it up against herself with a thoughtful expression. "What do you think?" she asks, turning to you and the others for their opinion. Mor nods approvingly, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "It's lovely, Feyre. You would look stunning in that." Nesta, ever the pragmatist, arches an eyebrow skeptically. "It's a bit too... ethereal for my taste," she remarks dryly. "But if it makes you happy, then go for it." You can't help but chuckle at Nesta's blunt honesty, knowing that she speaks from a place of genuine concern for her sister's happiness. "I think it's beautiful, Feyre," you offer, a warm smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "But ultimately, it's up to you." Feyre returns your smile gratefully, her eyes sparkling with gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N," she says softly, her voice filled with warmth. "I think I'll give it a try." As Feyre disappears into the dressing room to try on the gown, Mor turns to you with a glint in her eyes. "So, Y/N, have you found anything that catches your eye?" she asks, her tone teasing.
You shrug nonchalantly, though your heart races at the thought of the dress you had spotted earlier. "Maybe," you reply coyly, a playful smile playing at your lips. "There was one that caught my attention." Nesta raises an eyebrow curiously, her gaze sharpening with interest. "Oh? And what does it look like?" she inquires, her tone betraying her curiosity.
You hesitate for a moment, your cheeks flushing slightly as you recall the details of the dress. "It's... um, it's a deep midnight blue," you begin, your voice trailing off as you struggle to find the right words to describe it.
Mor's eyes light up with mischief as she interrupts, a knowing smirk on her lips. "Sounds like something a certain Shadowsinger would most definitely like," she quips, her voice filled with amusement. You feel your cheeks grow even warmer at Mor's teasing remark, knowing that there is some truth to her words. "Maybe," you mumble, unable to hide the smile that tugs at the corners of your lips.
Before the conversation can continue further, Feyre emerges from the dressing room, the lavender gown flowing around her in a cascade of ethereal beauty. You gasp in awe at the sight of her, your heart swelling with pride and admiration.
"Feyre, you look incredible," you exclaim, your voice filled with genuine awe. "That dress was made for you." Feyre blushes at the compliment, her smile radiant as she twirls in front of the mirror. "Thank you, Y/N" she says warmly, her eyes shining with happiness. "I think I've found my dress."Â As Feyre twirls in front of the mirror, her radiant smile lighting up the room, Mor and Nesta exchange knowing glances before turning their attention to you.
"Well, Y/N, it's your turn now," Mor says with a playful grin, her eyes sparkling again. "You can't just talk about that mysterious midnight blue dress and not show it to us."
Nesta nods in agreement, her expression curious. "Yes, I'm quite intrigued to see this dress that has caught your eye," she adds, a hint of amusement in her voice. With a nod of determination, you make your way to the dressing room, the anticipation building with each step.
As you slip into the dress, you can't help but marvel at how perfectly it fits, clinging to your curves in all the right places. The fabric is soft against your skin, the deep midnight blue hue shimmering in the light, casting an enchanting glow around you. The bodice of the dress is adorned with delicate lace, the intricate patterns weaving a spellbinding tapestry across your skin. The neckline plunges low, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of skin, while the back dips into a daring V, leaving just enough to the imagination. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the reactions of your companions, before stepping out of the dressing room to reveal yourself to them.
Feyre gasps in awe as she lays eyes on you, her expression filled with admiration. "Wow, Y/N, you look absolutely stunning," she exclaims, her voice filled with genuine wonder.
Mor and Nesta nod in agreement, their eyes wide with astonishment. "That dress was made for you," Mor adds. As you gaze at your reflection in the mirror, a surge of confidence courses through you. It's been so long since you've worn anything other than fighting leathers, and the sensation of silk against your skin is a welcome change. You feel sexy, beautiful, and alive in a way that you haven't in months, the weight of responsibility and duty momentarily lifted from your shoulders. For the first time in what feels like forever, you allow yourself to revel in the simple pleasure of feeling feminine and desirable.
But amidst the rush of excitement and adrenaline, there's a nagging voice in the back of your mind, whispering of doubts and insecurities. What will Azriel think when he sees you like this? Will he be pleased, impressed, or will he merely see you as the same old friend he's always known? You bite your bottom lip nervously at the thought, a flush rising to your cheeks as you imagine his reaction. But deep down, beneath the layers of uncertainty and self-doubt, there's a spark of hope flickering within you, a glimmer of possibility that maybe, just maybe, he'll see you in a new light. That maybe the feelings you had harbored for him for the past two centuries werenât one-sided.
With a determined shake of your head, you banish the doubts from your mind, focusing instead on the here and now. Tonight, you'll revel in the joy of the moment, surrounded by friends who love and support you unconditionally. And tomorrow, well, tomorrow is another day. "I must say, I almost forgot you had it in you to clean up so nicely."
You roll your eyes playfully at Mor's teasing remark, unable to suppress a laugh at her antics. "Oh, please, Mor," you quip, your tone laced with mock indignation. "You act as if I've been wearing armor for the past century." Feyre chuckles, her eyes dancing with mirth. "Well, you certainly seem to be enjoying yourself in that dress," she remarks with a knowing smile.
Nesta, ever the pragmatist, raises an eyebrow skeptically. "Yes, but can you actually afford it?" she asks dryly, her tone tinged with amusement. You feign offense at Nesta's remark "Of course I can afford it, Nesta," you reply with a playful smirk. "I'll just put it on Rhysand's tab."
The group erupts into laughter at your comment. With a final twirl in front of the mirror, you turn to the shopkeeper with a grin. "I'll take it," you declare confidently, a sense of satisfaction washing over you as you make your purchase. "And put it on Rhysand's tab, of course."
The shopkeeper chuckles at your remark, nodding in agreement as she wraps the dress in delicate tissue paper. "Very well, Miss Y/N" she says with a smile. "I'll be sure to send the bill to the High Lord's estate."
With your new dress in hand and your spirits lifted, you bid farewell to the boutique and make your way back into the bustling streets of Velaris.
â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â
Azriel strolls through the lush gardens of Tarquin's estate, the relentless heat of the Summer Court bearing down on him with an intensity that he finds almost suffocating. Sweat beads on his brow, trickling down his temples as he walks, and he can't help but curse the relentless sun that beats down from above, as if intent on draining him of every last ounce of energy.
He sighs heavily as he reflects on his current predicament, his thoughts drifting to the far-off lands of his homeland where snow, cold, and winter reign supreme. The sweltering heat of the Summer Court is a stark contrast to the familiar chill of the Night Court, and Azriel can't help but wonder if it's possible that he's somehow managed to burn his wings in the sun. But such thoughts are quickly pushed aside as he reminds himself of the task at hand. Everything had gone well with his meeting with Tarquin, and now he simply longs to retire to his chambers and escape the oppressive heat for a few precious hours of rest.
As he continues on his way, Azriel can't help but think about the upcoming Starfall celebration. Tomorrow would mark the end of his short mission in the Summer Court, and he couldn't wait to return home to Velaris. The thought of spending Starfall without Y/N weighs heavily on his mind, and he can't help but feel a pang of longing in his chest at the prospect. Suddenly, a voice breaks through his thoughts, a familiar presence intruding upon his mind with the ease of a whisper on the wind. It's Rhys, reaching out to him.
"Enjoying the summer heat, brother?" Rhys's voice echoes in his mind, a hint of amusement lacing his words. "Remember, not all of us are fortunate enough to have wings to shield us from the sun's rays."
Azriel can't help but snort at Rhys's teasing, the sound reverberating silently within his own mind. "I'd take a blizzard over this heat any day," he replies, his tone dry with sarcasm. "At least in the Winter Court, I wouldn't feel like I'm about to melt into a puddle."
Rhys's laughter fills his mind. "Ah, but where's the fun in that?" he quips "Besides, think of it as a challenge. A test of endurance, if you will."
Azriel shakes his head incredulously at his brother's words, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips despite himself. "You would find amusement in my suffering, wouldn't you?" he retorts. But Rhys's next words carry a weight of sincerity that catches Azriel off guard. "In all seriousness, Az, you'll be home before you know it," He assures him, his voice filled with warmth and encouragement. "Starfall is just around the corner, and there are loved ones eagerly awaiting your return."
There's a cryptic hint in Rhys's words, a subtle suggestion that Azriel can't quite decipher. He furrows his brows in confusion, his mind racing as he tries to make sense of his brother's words. After all, he's only been gone for a week. Â Rhys's voice fades from Azriel's mind, leaving him with a sense of calm and reassurance. "Until tomorrow, brother," he murmurs silently.
Azriel retreats for the night, the weight of exhaustion heavy on his shoulders. As he settles into his chambers, a sense of relief washes over him at the thought of returning home tomorrow.
His mind wanders to how he'll spend his first day back in Velaris, imagining the familiar streets and faces that he's missed so dearly the past week. But amidst the anticipation, there's a nagging sense of longing that tugs at his heart. Clasping his scarred hands together, Azriel reaches into the pocket of his bag and pulls out a crumpled piece of parchment. It's a letter from Y/N, the only way they've been able to stay in contact while she's been away on her mission.
He doesn't know why he took the letter with him, but holding it in his hands brings a sense of serenity and comfort. Even though their last exchanged letters had been about a month ago, knowing that Y/N is safe and well brings him a measure of peace.
With a sigh, Azriel unfolds the parchment and reads over her words once more, the familiar handwriting bringing a smile to his lips. He makes a silent promise to himself to write to her as soon as he gets home. But now, as he prepares to return home for the celebration, he can't help but feel a pang of sadness at the thought of Y/N missing out. He wonders what she might be doing on Starfall, if she's found a way to make the most of the day despite being apart from their shared family.
Azriel knew how she hadnât missed a single Starfall since⊠The heavy feeling of subdued rage settles in the pits of his stomach at the thought of what she endured during those dark years under the Mountain. He wishes he could have been there to protect her, to shield her from the horrors of their captivity.
His thoughts drift to a darker memory then, one that haunts him even now. He remembers her broken body, her spirit shattered and her light dimmed, when she and Rhys returned after Feyre broke the curse. The sight of her lying there, broken and bruised, fills him with a sense of sorrow and rage unlike anything he's ever known. He can still feel the weight of her pain, the echoes of her suffering lingering in the recesses of his mind. In that moment, all he wanted was to take her pain away, to hold her close and mend her broken spirit. Â Azriel thinks of the first Starfall after they returned from under the mountain, how Y/N had opened up about her grief and trauma for the first time. He can still see the sadness in her eyes, the weight of her pain etched into every line of her face. It was a stark contrast to the joyous celebration unfolding around them, a reminder of the darkness that still lingered. From that day forward, Y/N never missed a single Starfall celebration.
As Azriel drifts off to sleep, frustration gnaws at his insides like a relentless beast. Despite his best efforts to push Y/N from his mind, she lingers there like a haunting specter, her presence weaving through his thoughts and dreams with an undeniable persistence. Rubbing his hand over his face in a futile attempt to banish the memories, Azriel can't help but feel a sense of shame at the intensity of his longing for her. He prides himself on his control, on his ability to keep his emotions in check, but she has a way of unraveling him like no one else.
And then there are the dreams - vivid and all-consuming, they play out like scenes from a forbidden fantasy, leaving Azriel feeling both exhilarated and guilty in their wake. They were friends. Just friends. Best friends, actually. And even though this urge was nothing completely unfamiliar, these thoughts had overtaken him completely as soon as she left.
Again his mind wandered. Asking himself how her lips would feel clashing against his, how she would wrap her arms around his neck, having to crane her neck for a kiss due to their height difference. What she would taste like, what sounds he could coax out of her. How those exact plush lips would feel wrapped around his cock.- A growl leaves him through clenched teeth. His eyebrows pinched as he squeezes his eyes shut, palming himself through his briefs. Confusion etched on his beautiful face then, because he just could not understand. She was his best friend, so why could he not stop thinking about her like this? Thus, so very determined, he decided that this had to change, while simultaneously fisting his heavy cock in one of his hands. "Fuck"
â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â~â
I hope you enjoyed this little piece of my imagination. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated! Please let me know if you'd like a part 2 :)
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You Take Me Higher
Azriel x Reader
Description: What happens when you run into Azriel at a bar after a long mission?
Warnings: Smut, Public Sex
Word Count: 4220
Notes: This is basically pwp except it's part of a new universe I'm working on. Still, you can read this as a standalone since there's no actual plot here. I just felt like writing mindless smut since "She Laughs Like You" is so plot heavy. Hope you enjoy <3
You normally don't come to Rita's, preferring calmer bars to the loud and suffocating club, it's too much of an assault to your senses. But your friends had invited you enough times for you to accept, not wanting to turn them down again. You hadn't seen them in a while after a particularly long mission outside of the Night Court so it was nice to catch up with them even if it meant dealing with the headache that always follows your trips here.
You'd seen the High Lord and his Inner Circle as soon as you arrived. Their commanding presence allowing your eyes to find them immediately among the rest of the club goers. Upon seeing them, seeing him, you almost regretted coming out, not knowing how to act around him outside of work or your escapades and definitely not wanting to do it in front of so many people.
You decide on a simple wave, nodding discreetly at him and the rest of his family, turning your attention back to your now gushing friends after they wave back politely, making sure you didn't linger on his hazel eyes or the unbuttoned silk shirt, keeping up with the âfriendly acquaintancesâ narrative you've crafted for yourselves. Intending on keeping away from him for the rest of the night.
Azriel seemed to have a different idea as he signaled for you to follow him not even an hour later. And, as soon as you excused yourself from your friends and stepped out into the hallway, he grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers and discreetly guiding you through a back door, to a dark alley behind the popular bar. Your back was against the wall and his lips on yours, hands roaming all over your body, before you could even question him or get a good glimpse at him under the moonlight.
âAzriel,â you whine, trying to get his attention away from your neck, where he has been leaving tiny bites followed by soothing open-mouthed kisses, effectively making you lose your mind. Your hand tightens around his collar at a particularly hard bite, one you're sure left the imprint of his sharp canines on your supple skin.
Just when you were about to call out to him once more, thinking he didn't hear you or was choosing to ignore you, the shadowsinger finally lets out a hum against the column of your throat, at last acknowledging you were trying to talk to him.
You swallow before speaking, trying to get rid of the dryness in your mouth. This backfires as it only makes him use his grip on the back of your neck to pull you even closer to him when he feels the movement, and a moan leaves your mouth before you find your words.
âSomeone could see us,â you push through the desire steadily building inside you, trying to be the voice of reason, but you barely get the words out as he keeps nibbling on the soft skin of your throat, making you struggle to hold onto your composure.
When he simply lets out another amused hum before continuing to mark up your neck - to the point you're not sure the glamour magic you can use will be enough for covering them up - you tangle your fingers around the strands of dark hair and pull hard, effectively getting his attention. He grunts softly but allows you to move him away from your neck, and you're finally able to meet his eyes for the first time since he's taken you to the alley.
Your heart stalls in your chest when you take him in. Pupils blown out behind half-lidded eyes, the beautiful hazel almost imperceptible in the midst of all the desire. Dark hair messy, falling into his eyes, and shirt half undone from your tight grip on his collar, the illyrian marks you've grown to love peaking through. He was breathing heavy, chest rising and falling rapidly as he took advantage of the break you've given him to catch his breath.
The sight almost makes you forget your protests, brain going numb at the raw hunger reflected on his face. He's always been mesmerizing, you've been caught by his beauty ever since the first time you met him all those decades ago, but in moments like these you sometimes have trouble believing he's even real. He's like a God walking among mortals.
Azriel smirks when he notices your eyes glazing over and your scent deepening with arousal, taking the opportunity and leaning down for another, slower but equally passionate kiss. He's been so focused on your neck that he barely even tasted you since you've been outside. He wants to take his time with you for a moment.
Your mouth opens for him immediately, melting into him and releasing the grip you had on his dark locks in favor of grabbing the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to you, needing to feel all of him while he explores your mouth.
Eventually, you break the dizzying kiss again, your senses catching up to you in between the desire fogging up the air. He lets out a sound suspiciously similar to a whine and leans his forehead against yours, barely moving a breath away from your lips. Resigned to hear what you have to say before being able to continue indulging in your enticing taste.
âWe'll get caught if we stay here,â you whisper, lips brushing against his soft ones with every word.
You needed to keep your head leveled, wanting to avoid getting caught in such a risky position by any of the drunk party goers or, even worse, your High Lord. You don't even let yourself wonder what anyone would think if they found you tangled up with someone who is technically your superior, outside of a bar of all places. You'd both be in a lot of trouble.
âI won't let anyone see us,â he assures, and as the words leave his mouth, the dark shadows always accompanying him start swirling around the both of you, as if corroborating the statement. âI can keep us well hidden.â He finishes the sentence with a chaste peck on your lips and moves back to look into your eyes, searching for any doubts and waiting to see your response. Always so respectful even in the throes of pleasure.
You bite your lip, holding his gaze as you realize what he's implying. It's not that you would consider yourself a prude by any means but you've never done anything like this in public. Well, aside from the first night that started it at all, but the circumstances had been completely different then. Drunk fae could stumble out through the back door at any moment here, it could even be one of your friends or his. There was no anonymity in one of the most popular bars in Velaris. This might be the most irresponsible thing you'd do.
And, as much as that's true, you can't deny the heat spreading in your belly at the suggestion, the wetness pooling between your legs.
Azriel is looking at you like he could eat you whole, and you're more than aware of his abilities, of the delicious pleasure he can bring you. He wouldn't lie to you either, if he promised he'd keep you hidden then you know he will follow through with it. You'd trust him with anything.
Without the danger of really getting caught, what's stopping you from letting this irresistible male have his way with you right here? You'd be a fool to deny him and yourself the pleasure.
Your lips are back on his before you can talk yourself out of it, wrapping your arms fully around his neck and letting him take charge. He gets the message quickly, grabbing your waist and pressing you against him, letting you feel his bulge on your stomach, so close to where you need him most, making you both moan into the kiss.
Azriel has never been anything short of passionate when fucking you, always giving it his all and completely drowning you in mind boggling pleasure, but today he's acting differently. His rough touch is hungrier, greedier, as if he couldn't get enough of you no matter how much he took. It feels like he's untamed in his desire and it just so happens that he desires to have you.
His hands move all over your body, soon finding their way under your dress so he can grab at your thighs and pull you closer. You let yours wander down his chest, taking advantage of the mostly unbuttoned shirt, raking your nails softly over the tan skin.
When he abandons your mouth and starts leaving kisses down your jaw, moving to the slowly healing love bites, you notice the shadows have thoroughly covered you when you try to look around, suddenly aware of the loud music.
They're acting as a protective barrier to the outside world, the same way they hide him when he's in enemy territory fulfilling his Spymaster duties. Any last bit of remaining doubt evaporated with the realization. He's never been caught after all.
You let your head fall back against the brick wall, letting out a breath that soon turns into a moan when he bites into your throat hard at the same time his hand finds your folds, teasing the sensitive skin through the drenched fabric of your panties. Feeling him grin against your skin at the reaction he pulled from you.
âAlways so ready for me,â he praises and then licks a stripe up your throat, tilting your head further back to reach your chin and connect your mouths once again. You accept him greedily, grinding down on his hand, needing him to touch you properly.
After all the attention he's been giving you and the thought of trying something new with the enticing male, your underwear is absolutely soaked through and you need him to take responsibility for it already. You feel like you'd been doused with hot oil.
Thankfully, he seems to take pity on you, pushing your panties to the side, moving up and down to gather some wetness before slowly starting to circle your clit in time with each lick of his tongue into your mouth.
He's swallowing the desperate sounds trying to escape past your lips and your nails start to dig into his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. You'd be embarrassed at how close you already were if this wasn't Azriel. Each stroke of his scarred thumb against your sensitive clit was taking you higher.
He stops his movements as if sensing how close you were. You were about to protest when he also breaks the kiss, needing him to keep touching you, but hold your tongue when he pushes your dress up to your waist, exposing your soaked underwear to the cold night air. He curses softly as your scent reaches him.
âKeep this up for me, pretty.â His voice was deeper, rough with pleasure and restraint.
Your body catches up to the order before your mind has the chance to, doing as you're told and holding onto your dress so he can have an unobstructed view of you. He breathes out a âgoodâ without ever taking his eyes off the wet fabric clinging to your folds, the praise and need in his eyes only adding fuel to the fire burning inside you.
Azriel gets down on his knees between your legs, now eye level with your cunt as he pulls the panties right to the side, his other hand reaching up, encouraging you to part your thighs so he can feast on the mouth watering sight in front of him.
You can't help the cocky smirk when he lets out a low groan at the sight. You had bought the white skimpy lace in hopes he'd be taking it off, you just couldn't have predicted it would be happening in a dark alley behind this bar.
He looks up at you then, holding your gaze as he leans closer to your heat, licking you from hole to clit, making a show of moaning at the taste. Your hands move to grab at his hair instantly, letting your mouth fall open in a silent moan as he repeats the action.
Your legs threaten to give out when he starts kissing and sucking, not wasting a single drop of your wetness. His thumb circles your hole as he moves to tongue at your clit, swirling it around once, twice before his finger is filling you up.
He throws one of your thighs over his shoulder, diving into your cunt. Soon adding another finger and pumping both into you, getting you ready for him. You start grinding your hips against his face, chasing his fingers, his mouth, the mind numbing feeling he's giving you. He hums into you, the vibrations making you tremble and let out an embarrassing mewl of his name.
You don't know how he can have this effect on you, this male could probably make you melt into a puddle with a simple look. He pulls away with a harsh suck so he can watch his fingers move in and out of you, can watch the wetness almost dripping down your legs and his wrist, replacing his tongue with a scarred thumb, the rough texture so different from his wet tongue, adding an extra bite to the pleasure.
You only notice your head was thrown back against the wall, eyes closed as you chase your orgasm, when you hear him call your name. Eyes moving down to meet his dark ones again.
âI need you to cum on my fingers so I can fuck you, alright?â You nod, half delirious already, even though he's barely gotten his hands on you. You'd do anything he told you to.
It doesn't take long before a familiar knot starts tightening in your lower belly, your walls clenching around his fingers. He starts nibbling at the soft skin of your thigh, leaving marks similar to the ones decorating your neck and chest. Mumbling sweet praises against your skin, words you can't even focus on with the blood rushing through your ears.
Your orgasm catches you by surprise, making you almost lose your balance as your eyes roll to the back of your head and your mouth opens in a silent scream, hands trying to find purchase on his shoulders and his hair, forgetting about the dress and holding onto his instead. His hand abandons your clit so he can grab onto your waist, helping you stay up.
He keeps his fingers moving slowly as you come down from your high, breathing heavily and letting out soft gasps. As your mind clears up, he leans over to leave one last kiss against your heat before taking his fingers out carefully and standing up. Grabbing your chin so he can kiss you once more, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.
You pull away with a tug on his lip. The orgasm only made you hungrier, you wanted to feel him inside you, stretching you out. âI need your cock, Az.â
âSo greedy,â he moans, though you can't figure out if disapprovingly or otherwise. He moves one hand to start unbuttoning his pants so he can free his painful erection at last. You follow the movement, saliva gathering in your mouth involuntarily at the tantalizing sight of his hard, leaking cock. He pumps his fist around it, relieving some of the need. You swallow, moving up to meet his gaze when you feel the intensity of his stare.
He's probably thinking the same thing as you. Remembering how his heavy cock feels against your wet tongue, moving down your throat. You see him grab the base of his cock harder, internally debating if he wants to let you suck him off or fuck you. Your cunt clenches at the thought and apparently the sentiment is clear on your face, the desire written there enough for him to make his decision as he grabs onto the back of your thighs, lifting you up against the wall.
The movement has his cock press right against you, feeling the hardness slide across your sensitive heat. You grab hold of him, not resisting giving him one teasing stroke before guiding him to your hole, needing to have him inside you desperately.
Azriel starts pushing in slowly, stretching you out deliciously. It doesn't matter how many times he fucks you, it will always take you by surprise. You've never had anyone fill you up so well, it almost seemed impossible how he even fit inside you sometimes.
He takes his time filling you up, knowing your body well enough to recognize any twinge of discomfort. In this position, it feels like he can go in deeper, the angle hitting every sensitive spot.
When he finally bottoms out, Azriel presses his whole body against yours, holding you up with his own hips and moving one of his hands over your chest so he can tug the front of the dress down and give your neglected breasts some attention as you adjust to him.
You can feel your walls flutter around his cock, moaning out his name when his mouth finds its way over one of your nipples.
Feeling more than ready for him, you push your hips against him, urging him to finally fuck you. He chokes out a breath, taking a vengeful bite at your nipple, as you move yourself on him, pulling his hips back to thrust back into you, feeling you clench around him. His mouth abandons your chest and meets yours again, hands tightening around your waist as his thrusts' rhythm increases.
It's like all the hunger from before comes back tenfold, his grip most likely bruising your skin as the sounds of wet skin slapping against each other fills the alleyway, your moans rising in tempo with each snap of his hips.
Just as you start losing yourself in the pleasure, one of his hands comes up to cover your mouth. You still let out a muffled whine when he slows down to warn you, whispering in your ear, âThe barrier the shadows create isn't completely soundproof. You need to be quiet for me.â You whine in response, making him add, âAlright?â
You almost forgot where you were, and that anyone could walk by you at any moment, but in the heat of desire, the fact only makes you wetter, hips moving of their own accord against him, prompting him to pick up the pace.
âYou said we wouldn't get caught.â The last thing you want to focus on right now is to keep quiet when he's making you feel so good.
âWe won't,â he moves back to look into your eyes, âUnless you want us to.â
Maybe it's the drinks from before or the way his cock throbs inside you, but you almost wish someone would see you, so they would know you're the one this bewitching male chooses to fuck, you're the one making him cum time and time again, it's your name he moans out in pleasure.
The possessive feeling coils around your heart, a feeling you have no right to have. You have no sort of claim over him after all, but luckily he doesn't let your linger in such thoughts, and starts fucking you hard and fast again, effectively pushing all thoughts out of your mind.
âGods, you feel fucking perfect,â he growls against your ear, making you let out a long muffled moan. He draws his cock out almost completely before slamming back into you, just so he can hear the gasp that still escapes through his fingers, before picking up the pace again, keeping to shallow thrusts.
His hand moves from your mouth eventually, confident you won't scream too loud, or simply not caring if you do anymore. Both of you get lost in the feeling of each other, tongues battling inside your mouth, your hands roaming all over his shoulders, coming up to tangle in his silky hair. Time almost stands still around the two of you as you hide in his shadows, completely separated from the outside world.
You start getting closer, and knowing you won't be able to hold out for much longer but wanting him to finish with you, you move your trembling hand down his back, finding the raised skin where his wings meet his back and tease them over his shirt.
Illyrians are extremely protective of their wings and you know how sensitive they are, so when he let you touch them around their base for the first time, you were more than flattered even though you can't fully run your fingers over the leathery skin yet, and you're almost sure this isn't the most sensitive spot. You know this is a big step for him, considering all the trust issues you've seen him display, so you don't mind being patient.
Your fingers barely make contact before he's growling and his pace falters, nails digging into your skin. You'd caught him off guard, but he recovers too fast, pushing you even harder into the wall and speeding up, fully intent on making you both fall over the edge now.
âI'm so close,â you breathe out, feeling yourself right at the precipice.
âMe too,â his thrusts turn even more erratic, confirming his words. And with another snap of his hips, you're falling over the edge, moaning out his name with no care for who hears it.
He follows you soon after, thrusting deeper and grinding into you, pumping you full of his cum as the both of you ride out the mind numbing orgasms. You don't remember the last time you came so hard, every nerve on your body is alive with pleasure, if it hadn't been for his hold on you, you don't think you would have been able to stay up.
His lips find your pulse point after a bit, leaving soft kisses around as you massage his scalp, watching with amusement as his wings twitch softly. You would stay in this position for the rest of time if you could, everything just falls into place in these soft moments between you two.
Unfortunately, you get a stark reminder of your surroundings when you hear the back door open, the music filtering through it. You tense immediately, suddenly hyper aware of your compromising position. Azriel leans away from your neck to look into your eyes, his serene expression and the way his wings cocoon around both of you calming you down.
Just as he promised, whoever stumbled out of the bar didn't even suspect you were hidden in the shadows, walking out onto the main street as if they were alone. When you don't hear any footsteps anymore, you let your head fall back against the wall, finally relaxing and breathing a soft, âFuck.â
He watches you for a moment before speaking up. âWe need to get out of here. People are starting to leave,â he tells you, a glimpse of amusement behind his words.
You nod in agreement, knowing he's right but, even after your scare, still hesitant to let go of him, reveling in the warmth of his skin against yours and his soft touch for as long as possible.
The longer you've been sleeping together, the harder it is to accept that outside of the bedroom you're nothing more than acquaintances, you wouldn't even call him your friend. Aside from moments like this or the rare occasion of running into him when you're working, you don't see or talk to him at all.
You always find yourself missing him, not only his body. That's something you need to hide from him, the implications would be enough to have him call off this agreement between you. There is no space for feelings in it, both of you made it very clear from the beginning. You should do yourself a favor and end it before the fluttering of your heart morphs into something more dangerous but you can't bring yourself to even consider it.
He pulls out of you gently, none the wiser to the internal conflict raging inside you. Getting you down from his hold and carefully helping you stand on unsteady legs, muscles still spasming faintly. A rag appears through his shadows and he helps you clean yourself up with it before even worrying about himself, making sure your dress falls back into place as well. You were truly playing a losing game with him. How could you not fall for Azriel?
When you're both decent enough, he calls his shadows off and you put up a glamour around yourself, hopefully masking his male scent clinging to your skin.
âI need to find my friends and let them know I'm leaving.â You try to think of excuses, knowing they'll know you're running off with someone but praying they can't figure out who.
He nods at you, looking over your body with an indecipherable look in his eyes as he takes note of his marks disappearing. âI'll wait for you here.â
âWhat?â
âMy family is used to me sneaking off in the middle of outings,â a smirk grows on his face as he adds, âAnd I'm not done with you quite yet.â
taglist: @tinymarklee
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The One With the Blouse (2/2)
Part 2/2
Wolfstar x reader   Sirius Black x reader   Remus Lupin x reader   Sirius Black x Remus Lupin   Sirius Black x reader x Remus LupinÂ
Established couple (throuple)
Summary: Sirius apologises, Lily and Remus help
Warnings:
Minor angst
Hurt/comfortÂ
Fluff
Word count: 1.5k
You trudge up the steps of the girlâs dormitory. Tonight at least you know youâll have an empty room. After a party, Marlene and Mary tend to fall asleep on the couches by the fire. Always the last to leave, and the first to insist on helping clean up. Lily will be with James, recently endowed with prefect duties and a single room, you have no doubt heâll be taking advantage of the privacy.Â
You sit in bed and hold yourself tight, calming your rushing heart, and trying desperately to cease the tears that just keep falling. Hours pass, and the loud sounds of youthful jubilance from the party below do too.Â
You want to believe that Sirius didnât mean any of it. He seemed almost just as upset as you were when you left the dorm. He has a habit of self-sabotage when things start going too well, Remus did warn you about that. But you arenât a fan of wishful thinking. Itâs far easier to let yourself wallow in the believe that you three just arenât meant to be, and that theyâll do better without your imposition.
A soft knock on the door startles you, âY/N, can I come in?â, Lily, that canât be right. You respond in a daze, and she steps in wordlessly, looking far too sympathetic for your liking.Â
âRemus said you might need some companyâ, she smiles. Â
âDid they enjoy the party?â, you ask, entirely genuine.Â
âThey never came downâ.
She moves to sit across from you on the red sheets, her fingers lost in her pockets as she pulls something out. A paper crane.
âSirius made it for youâ, she says, and your fragile heart summersaults.Â
You extend your hand out, and Lily drops the paper to your open palm. The moment it touches your skin the bird begins to fly. It flutters around you in circles first, then flaps its wings in place between the two of you. Itâs beautiful magic, Siriusâs touch is unmistakable. The paper rearranges itself back into its basic form, a flat sheet of parchment with writing on one side.Â
It reads quite simply:Â
Iâm an idiot. Iâm so, so sorry.
Will do better.
not your fault.
Sirius,
Itâs not exactly poetic, or even particularly romantic, but you appreciate the sincerity. The spreading, watery ink bleeding between letters - and dark raised tearstains affirms the earnestness of the apology. Lily seems hesitant before she speaks again, but her tone is reassuring, âYou know, with him these things are never personal, he used to get like this with Remus when they first started out tooâ, and that shocks you. They seem like a complete unit now, reading each otherâs minds and silent cues in a way you havenât mastered yet. It seems almost unbelievable to imagine the two of them at each otherâs throats.Â
âI should go talk to themâ, you sigh. Despite Siriusâs apology, you've resigned yourself to your fate. Re-playing the events of earlier tonight again and again in your mind, you canât help but feel shameful. Maybe you overreacted, or you didnât pay close enough attention to Siriusâs frustrations early enough. As if reading your mind:
âI understand why youâre upset; he told me what he said to youâ Lily says, âIf James said anything like that I donât think Iâd ever speak to him againâ,
âYou donât think I should forgive him?â you ask, eyes looking back to the paper crane. The charmed parchment has re-folded itself perfectly and continues to fly.
Lily shrugs, âSirius isnât James, he doesnât always mean what he saysâ, and somehow you find that incredibly comforting.
-
You walk to their dorm, paper crane in hand. Your stomach turns when you knock. Thereâs a rustle and a small shout from inside before the door creeks open, quicker than youâre prepared for. Remus steps out. His eyes are bright red and puffy, and looking at his hands on the wooden door you can tell heâs been picking at his fingers again. You hate to think that you might've been the cause of any of his pain. âLily gave you the craneâ, he says, half smiling now, and you think things might just be okay.Â
He cracks the door open further, welcoming you inside with his hand at the small of your back.Â
âAre you okay?â, you worry, glimpsing between his eyes and his scratched fingers,Â
Remus nods.Â
âAll better nowâ, he says, half smile growing into nearly a grin, you believe him.
âWhereâs Sirius?â, you ask.
Remus motions his head to the bathroom, and you cast him a bewildered look,
âI cast a silencing charmâ, he explains, as if that really explains anything at all, âHe needed to calm downâ, he adds.
âSo, heâs taking a bath?â,Â
Remus shakes his head and waves his wand. The sound of sniffling and quiet crying finds itâs way through the dorm room, slightly muffled by something indistinguishable.Â
âHeâs got his head in the sinkâ, Remus says, and you really have nothing to say in response, âWe had it filled with ice to keep the muggle beer right, I thought the cold would calm him downâ, he elaborates, like an adoringly patient parent talking about a particularly affected toddler. Remusâs tenderness towards Sirius fills you with something light, and warm. You donât miss the unspoken detail; Remus couldnât bear to listen to your lover cry.
âHe was in the wrong, and he really is sorryâ, he says, and you donât need to be convinced. You wonder how many times theyâve been through this, the arguments and reconciliation youâre only just learning to navigate.Â
Remus opens the bathroom door for you, and low and behold Siriusâs head is in the sink. Three bottles of beer are parked haphazardly in the corner of the porcelain to make up for the space a human head takes up. Heâs still wearing the same blouse. His shoulder are shaking, and his hands are so white gripping the sides of the sink that theyâre almost luminescent.
Remus walks up behind him, rubbing circles up and down his back. He gives you a quick encouraging glance before heâs leaning down, speaking softly into Siriusâs ear, âSweetheart, Y/N is here to talk to you, Lily gave her your craneâ.
His head shoots up from the ice, pale and wild looking, like a corpse brought to life. Hair completely drenched, and ice water dribbling off the tip of his nose. He turns to you with wide eyes, looking entirely panicked.Â
âIâm so, so sorry darling, Iâm such bloody idiotâ, he spills out, âI didnât mean any of it, Iâm not sure why I said it anyway, and then you were so upset, fuck sweetheartâ, his words come out at a million miles a minute, youâre sure heâs taken your time apart to ruminate intently on his misdeeds. He takes a second to breathe, â-then Moony was upset with me too, Walburga sent me a howler yesterday and it got my mood all mixed up, I should have just talked to you, such a bloody idiotâ, he pants out.
Remus hasnât stopped circling his gentle hands up and down Siriusâs shoulders, providing a much-needed salve to the other boyâs anxiety.Â
âI shouldnât have leftâ, You say with regret âI shouldâve stayed to talk to youâ,
Sirius shakes his head, sprinkles of sink water flicking off the ends of his hair, âI upset you, you had every right to take a minute to yourselfâ, you nod in response, grateful he isnât holding your flightiness against you. He seems much calmer now, the ice water, Remusâs touch, and your return serving as the perfect trifecta. Itâs all slightly awkward, youâre both unsure how to proceed, stuck just for now in that fumbly post-argument stage. Remus spares you a slightly desperate glance, begging silently for you to say something.Â
âThank you for the crane, and the noteâ, you oblige.
âI meant what I wrote, Iâll do betterâ, he says it with conviction, and you appreciate the affirmation. âI'll do whatever you want, Iâll strip and flog myself all the way to Holyhead if-â, you interrupt him in haste, youâre not even sure heâs joking.
â-no no Sirius I forgive you, reallyâ, his tense shoulders relax like mountains relieved of their own weight, and in the corner of your eye you think Remusâs do too.Â
âYouâre not just saying that to make me feel better?â, he questions,
âNo, I mean it, honestâ, and you lift your hand up beside your face, mimicking the action of taking some sort of oath. It puts a slight smile on Siriusâs face. âCome hereâ, you say, and he collapses into you, initiating the tightest hug of your life. Heâs wet and cold, but you couldnât care less, glad to have him back in your arms.
âNext time, please just tell me if Iâm being too fussy, and Iâll give you a bit of spaceâ, you say, muffled practically inside Siriusâs armpit. You feel him nod emphatically, âI promiseâ.
A warmth has returned to the dorm, and the red and gold accents of the room are suddenly more vibrant. The three of you stay up for a while, just holding one another, and talking softly into each otherâs skin.
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STARRY EYES SPARKIN' UP MY DARKEST NIGHTS.
pairing. lyney x gn! reader ( word count. 1.1k ) genre. strangers to lovers
synopsis. wherein lyney falls for you literally and figuratively, and he doesn't mind it quite a bit. or just bits of pieces of him trying being a romantic.
content. fluff, reader is not the traveller, flirty lyney, he's ooc sowsaury everyone, lynette is tired with the two of you. minimal proofread.
notes. hihi this is for @sixosix da only real one this is for u!! *does that corny pointing in movies* dribble dribble shoots! i just rlly need to write for him, bc he's a silly.
lyney was never star-struck, if anything he was more used to people being enchanted when they saw him.
but he would never expect it to happen to him, after all only the most beautiful things can capture the eyes of a magicianâwith life full of unexpected encounters and lively colors of showsâto all of which he found on you.
you, who came to the lands of justice from the lands of freedomânever being tied down to the shackles of lawsâwith an ecstatic gaze, you're here as where the winds have brought you. truly he thinks the momentary sight of you just by walking in the streets of fontaine didn't give enough justice for him to memorize your face. the sunlight that just makes you shine more and the way your eyes reminds him of the stars, warm they were.
and your smile. archons, he adores it. the way it just never leaves your face, you're so pretty.
he never knew anything about love, only with the books he grew up with of a fairytale he reads to his siblings at nightâa hopeless romantic he was.
love at first sight. he was falling, hard and fast. like he was tumbling down into the bottomless chasm of just you. he's liking it and it should take him aback, it should scare him, but he can't find himself to do so.
it was unbelievable and it was magical to be able to know a feeling that you can know so much, but was foreign altogether. he knew right then, he was star-struck with you.
and he doesn't know what compels him to move and make his way to you. excitement dancing around his nerves as he nears you, with a smile on his face and a newfound fascination.
and just before he reaches, an unexistent rock trips him all the way to you.
it's embarrassing, lynette thinks. watching his brother fall in love, that isâliterally and figuratively.
he flashes a smile at you. and you crouch down, asking him if he's okay. you're worried and he tries not to grin so much, he only replies to you with,
"i'm fine, now that you're here." he winks.
he took it as a chance to take out a rainbow rose out from his sleeves handing out to you. and you laughed, probably another thing that he finds enchantingâit's unfair, for you to have him this entrance by you.
what a memorable first meeting he had with you.
lynette cringesâher brother's antics are an embarrassment to die for. it's not a crime as far as the laws said so, but she sure hopes it is.
because now, his brother is here head in the clouds with the thought of you. his face all, but with lovey-dovey eyes.
"isn't y/n so pretty?" he sighed dreamily.
lynette looks at him with a blank stare, "you've said that for the thirteenth time today. yes, y/n is pretty."
"should i prepare a magic trick? maybe a dove or a bunny. it can be onstage, or just in the seats? ah, i have so many things to prepare..." and so many more, if she was a stranger, she would've thought her own brother is outrageous for the ideas that come to his mind just to woo you. "come now, dear sister for i have to prepare for my special guest."
it's a feeble attempt, really.
his own brother faltering down, just from you standing in front of him and anyone might not see it, but she knows his own brother.
lovestruck he was. when he took you to him showing his trick of lighting up the night in a single snap, a flower on your head magically placed delicately and he thinks you're just pretty.
"do you like it?"
another rainbow rose.
"they're pretty.."
your mesmerization, it takes his breath away. if anything he wants you to look at him, how you look at everything you love. he wants you to love him too, like how the stars never leave the skies and how the sun reflects its light on the sea.
he wants you just like how his hands die in need to reach you, how can you be so cruel to him this way?
and he breathes out, "i know."
"do you like dancing?"
the both of you stand on the stage, where you sit in one of the carts that has all their props now kept for their next show.
"back in mondstadt, we had a festival that we celebrated...and we would dance at night till the flowers fall." you recount, fondness creeps up on you with the memory.
he knows this, windblumeâif he's not mistaken, he shouldn't be. after all what are those books he read for night after night just to know the culture of mondstadt? just to know you. you didn't need to catch wind of that, he can only hope charlotte wouldn't slip up with this one on you.
he imagines, you dancing with a smile on your face that he loves so much. and he wants to see it, to be able to live that vision in his head, but having you in his arms instead.
"would you dance with me then?" he offers his hand, making a little bow to you.
and you giggle, yet again at his antics. "i would love to."
"may i?" and you take his hand, he feels warm, giddy from how your hand fits together with his.
with a smile he holds you and leads you to dance to a sound the two of you can only hear and maybe it's the heartbeats that plays in your mind, but lyney thinks everything just seems more beautiful now with you here.
he's used to everyone's eyes on him as a magician, it's a normal thing. but to have you this close to him and your eyes on him, he thinks the spotlight doesn't make him special now, just the way you do.
if this was the fairytale he's known all his life, he hopes now that it will always be like those ever afters. don't wake him up and drop the glass of his heart, because he has so many more dreams he'd like to come to life with you.
he's memorizing the story now, how your eyes shine and warms him wholly, your hair dancing around as he sways you and your lips that holds a sound that he would like to hear every day.
the song ends and your hearts sync. he let's go and step back to kiss your hand, delicately with him keeping eye contact and it means so much more.
and he pulls out yet another rainbow rose out of his coat, and his eyes glazed. "it's windblume this season in mondstadt, isn't it?"
passion and romantic encounters.
"...let this rose be my oath to you."
oh, how the magician can be much of a romantic all for you. he hopes he'll be the first and the last one to give you such a gift.
â⥠likes and reblogs are highly appreciated! here's a lyney fic bc i have beef with him <3
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Like magic â part 2/end?
Part 1
Male!yandere x female!reader x female!yandere
Summary: after waking up from a coma like state, you find out that people are dying around you ... and they all seem to have a connection to you
Warnings: death, blood, typical stuff, abusive household
Word count: 5.1k
A/N: I feel that the ending got rushed, but I didn't know what I was going to write! Apologies. And for the moment, this will be the end of the series, but if I ever want to do another part, I will<3
Taglist: @yandere-city2 @svinxie @yumeneji @spitakgini
"Have you ever had a dueling class?" Hedwig asks.
"No, never", you reply nervously, thinking of everything Edmund told you about it.
"It's going to be fine. We're not even sure if they're going to pick you for demonstration!"
"I'm happy that Edmund isn't in this class or I'd be dead."
The mention of his name makes Hedwig quiet.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Hedwig", you say. "I know you don't like to talk about him."
"You seem to like it âŠ"
"What? No! He just annoys me so I can't forget him. He's taken over my brain like a virus."
Hedwig sighs and hugs your arm.
"I don't like him at all", she mumbles.Â
You enter your very first dueling class and watch how the professor start to talk about different spells (most you've never even heard of).
"I need two participants", he says and looks around for faces. "Arthur and Y/N, please."
You can feel Hedwig stiffen against your arm. You feel your blood go cold.
"B-But professor-!" Hedwig starts.
"No buts, come up here now, Y/N", the professor demands.
You have no other choice than to step up on the stage-looking plateau. Hedwig watches in horror with her hands clasped over her mouth. You pick up your wand.Â
"Professor!" Hedwig tries again, but once again she's dismissed.
You're supposed to protect yourself from a spell you have never heard about before, but since you neither know the spell nor the counter spell, it hits your body like a thousand needles. Suddenly, everything seems to go in slow motion. You're flung against the stone wall. The air gets knocked out of your lungs and your head starts to pound thickly. Everything turns dark.
Hedwig screams and runs over to you.
"Y/N, are you okay?!" she gasps. "Y/N answer, please!" She turns to the professor. "I tried to warn you! She doesn't know any dueling spells! Now look at what you did!"
The professor stands there sheepishly, and Hedwig wants nothing more than to swing her wand and do as much damage as she possibly can.
A few students help Hedwig carry your unconscious body to the hospital wing where your bloody head is wrapped in bandage. You're tucked in under white sheets. Hedwig sits by with tears running down her cheeks. She holds your hand tightly.Â
Edmund sighs and turns the page. Idiocy, all of it. He doesn't want to read about spells, he wants to perform them.
"Did you hear?" a voice says to someone else. "The transfer student in third year got abominated during duel class."
The school only has one transfer student. Edmund shuts the book and flies up towards the Hufflepuff student talking bullshit.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" He asks. "Don't talk so much shit. Spit it out."
They seem to flinch upon seeing him. Edmund's made sure that people know you belong to him.
"The transfer student, she's in the hospital wing", the hufflepuff boy says, ashamed by now.
Edmund feels how his heart stops beating. No way. Not you. He gives the Hufflepuff boy one last glare before running off. He bumps into multiple people on his way, but doesn't stop to excuse himself.
Hedwig looks up when she hears someone rip the door open and run in. Edmund's face is paler than usual and for once, there's something desperate in his icy blue eyes.
"What the fuck happened?" he pants and walks to the other side of the bed.Â
"The professor didn't listen to me when I tried to tell him that Y/N doesn't know any spells", Hedwig sniffles without taking her eyes off of you. "She got flung against the wall and must have hit her head really hard."
"I'm going to kill him."
Hedwig sobs and rests her forehead down on your hand.Â
âStop doing thatâ, Edmund mutters and pulls her head back before wiping your hand. âYour face oil is getting all over her.â
"What if she never wakes up again?"
"Stop talking such nonsense, of course she will."
But he can't help feeling worried.
"Alright, students", the working nurse says, "you cannot stay here any longer, the patient needs to rest."
"I'm staying", Edmund says sharply.
"I'm staying too!" Hedwig insists.
"No, you have to listen to the rules. You can visit miss Y/N later."
They are about to resist once more, but are forced out and the doors close behind them.
"What a prick!" Edmund mutters and starts to walks off.
"Edmund, wait ⊠please", Hedwig sniffles. "Please help me."
He frowns and turns around.
"I can't let that boy get away with it", she whimpers. "But I can't do it alone. Please ⊠help me. Please."
âYou want ⊠me ⊠to help ⊠you?â he asks, confused. âHave you lost your little sugar, honey mind?â
Hedwig sobs and shakes her head. âNo. Please, Edmund. I canât do it myself, I donât have the heart to do it. But I know you do.â
âHow would you know that?â
âDonât lie. I know that you have the tattoo on your arm. Everyone knows who your parents are and what theyâve done.â She snuffles and wipes her nose. âIt doesnât matter if they lie. Everyone knows.â
Edmund hushes and covers her mouth with his hand. Hedwigâs eyes widens.Â
âBe silent, will you?â he hisses. âFine, Iâll do it ⊠not because you tell me to, but because Y/N needs to be revenged â and because Iâm fucking pissed.â
âThank you, nonetheless.â She takes a deep breath. âIf you ⊠if you do it, I will make sure to cover it up.â
âDeal.â
When you wake up, you can feel a harsh pounding in the back of your head, harsh enough to split your skull open. You open your eyes slightly, letting just enough daylight in to be able to locate yourself. The hospital wing.Â
Why am I here?
You suddenly remember, and it sends a new painful wave through your brain. Carefully, you sit up and look around, wishing to see Hedwig, but thereâs noone.Â
Suddenly, a few teachers rush in with a body in their arms. The boy who you had dueled with â Arthur, you believed his name to be â gets thrown onto a bed and covered with a sheet. A shiver runs down your spine. Whatever that was about, you donât want to be included.Â
âExcuse me?â you say hesitantly, gathering the attention of the nurse. âCould you help me?â
âYes of courseâ, she answers and hurries over. âYouâre finally awake, Iâm happy to see that. How are you feeling?â
Dismissing her question, you ask her to bring you Hedwig. And Hedwig you receive, along with the black haired devil.Â
âOh, Y/N!â she shouts in relief and wraps her arms around you. âOh, how happy I am to see you awake! You worried me sick.â
You hug her back, weirdly scared. You have no idea how long youâve been unconscious for, or what has happened to you while you were out. Hedwigâs ripped off of you and suddenly, you feel Edmundâs firm, muscular arms around you. He holds your head into his chest, breathing out slowly.Â
âI told you that you didnât want to end up in the hospital wingâ, he mumbles and sighs out, cupping your cheeks. âFrom now on, I wonât let you anywhere out of my sight. Since miss princess over here canât keep an eye on you, I have to do it.â
âExcuse me?â Hedwig scoffs. âDo you think I wanted Y/N to get hurt? I tried to tell the professor-!â
âI donât care, halfblood. If I were there, I wouldnât have let that happened! I would have dueled the damn professor myself.â He turns to you and kisses your forehead. âMy dear, Y/N. I will never let anyone touch a hair on your head again, do you understand me?â
You nod, confused.Â
âGoodâ, Edmund smiles and stands up. âWhat should we do with you now?"
"Are you allowed to leave?" Hedwig asks softly and you nod. She takes your hands. "Let's go eat something. You can sit at my table."
You come with her to the great hall and sit down by the hufflepuff table. Edmund refuses to be seen beside the students wearing yellow and black uniforms and retreats to the Slytherin table.Â
âHere you go, sweetheartâ, Hedwig says and starts to fill a plate for you, giving it over. âEat a lot, okay? You have been skipping multiple days now that youâve been in a coma â or whatever that was. You have multiple days to make up for, eat up.â
âThank you, Hedwig, thatâs very nice of youâ, you reply and watch the mountain of food on your plate.Â
Hedwig insists on feeding you, as if you were a baby. You donât mind. After waking up all alone in a foreign room, without any knowledge of what has happened or how long youâve been gone, being babied doesnât sound too bad.
The entire hall is glancing at you and you realize that if there ever was the slightest chance of staying single in the publicâs eyes, you were sealed to Hedwig by now.Â
Your stomach starts to hurt not long after. It has shrunk in size.
âIt hurtsâ, you say and clutch your stomach. âI think Iâm going to throw up if I eat more.â
âBut ⊠but âŠâ, Hedwig stutters, completely baffled.Â
âHedwig, I love the food, I really do ⊠but if I eat more for now Iâm going to puke.â
âIâll ⊠Iâll save it then!â she says happily.Â
She puts the bread in a napkin and puts it in the pocket of her cloak. Youâre pulled up from the bench by her arm and taken out into the corridor.
âLetâs go out into the fresh air to get you feeling betterâ, she smiles.
You nod, following Hedwig wherever she takes you. A fresh wind clears your lungs.
"I hope you know that I'm so happy that you're okay", she says and holds your hand while you're walking, side by side. "I got so scared. You know that I would do anything for you, right?"
You nod again.
"When I say that, I really mean it. Nothing is too much for you.â
âIâm glad to hear that.â
Hedwig smiles and hugs your arm tightly.
âYou should come over to my house somedayâ, she says. âI would show you so much stuff that you have never seen before. Youâre missing out on a lot by being born into a muggle family.â
âI would like very much to go to your houseâ, you say quietly. âI donât want to go home.â
She stops. âWhat? Why?â
âWell ⊠you know ⊠I donât want to go home.â
She frowns when you shrug awkwardly. Youâve hinted about your home life numerous times, but youâve never told her the entire reason. Should you?
âWhy?" she asks. "Why don't you want to go home?"
"I'm scared that they won't let me go back."
"Nonsense, Y/N. I'm sure that they'll understand."
"No, Hedwig, they won't. They locked me in my bedroom every year to make sure I wouldn't get here. I picked the lock this time. Otherwise I wouldn't be here."
"Are they bad people, Y/N?"
"Well ⊠I don't know. They're not mean but ⊠if I say anything that goes against their rules or their wishes, they punish me greatly.â
"How?"
âYouâd be surprised at how creative they are.â
âI see.â She smiles softly and caresses your cheek. âYou have nothing to be worried about, I will take you in. You can move into my house.â
âThank you, but I donât want to be a bother to your parents.â
âTheyâre rarely home anyway, they wouldnât even notice.â She gasps and looks at her watch. âOh, my God, Iâm so sorry, Y/N, I have to go! I have class in five minutes. Please find me after class, we can meet in the library. I love you, Y/N, bye!â
She kisses your cheek and runs. You watch her until she disappears into the castle. The headache returns and you press your palms to your forehead, giving out a small sigh. Did your brain disconnect from the skull in that fall?
Thereâs too many people around you, too many sounds. You start to move back towards the castle when youâre stopped by a couple of students. Theyâre younger than you, but smirk like adults.Â
âArenât you the third year that canât duel to save your life?â one of them taunts.Â
Youâre taken aback, not knowing what to respond. They laugh among themselves, enjoying your embarrassment. You glance down at their robes. All from different houses.
Suddenly, their smiles disappear and they fixate on something behind you. You turn around, seeing Edmund with his two minions.Â
âBet youâre feeling tough, huh?â Edmund asks coldly. âPicking on someone that just came out of the hospital wing? Fuck off.â
The younger students glare at him, but listen and leave. You can feel Edmundâs hand on your shoulder.Â
âHey, transfer studentâ, he says, âyou shouldnât wander around right after waking up from a coma. Did you lose braincells when hitting your head?â
âNoâ, you sigh and hold your hand on your head. âBut it does hurt. A lot. All sounds make my brain pound.â
Edmund covers your ears with his hand, gives you a small nudge in the back with his knee to make you walk. He brings you to an empty corridor and sits you down on the floor.Â
âDid you know those kids?â he asks.Â
âNoâ, you shake your head.Â
âI knew one of themâ, one of his friends says. âWonât be too hard to figure out who the others are.â
âGoodâ, Edmund says and sits down beside you, bringing you close to him.Â
You frown in confusion as he wraps his cloak around you and puts your face on his shoulder.ïżœïżœ
âLetâs rest here for a bitâ, he says. âDonât move. Sleep if you want.â
 The food swelling in your shrunken stomach and the loud noises have brought you back to exhaustion. You find yourself drifting off in his hold. Edmund sits with you, holding you closely. Every time someone walks by, he holds his hand over your ears to make sure they wonât wake you up. His friends chase them off.Â
âOf course you had something to do with itâ, he hears a voice say after a while.Â
âNo need to be snarky, Hedwigâ, Edmund says without lifting his eyes from you. âI helped you kill that Arthur boy, the least you can do is thank me.â
âIs she okay?â
âYeah, just tired.â
Hedwig sits down beside the two of you and caresses your hair.Â
âWe have more to take care ofâ, Edmund says lowly. âSome embarrassing kids tried to embarrass Y/N. If you can find out who they are, I will take care of them.â
âSure, it wouldnât be too hard.â Especially with her contacts.
Things start to happen the following weeks. People you have talked to or that have been close to you have disappeared from the school or ended up dead in the hospital wing. You have done everything in your power to not blame yourself for the weird disappearances. It has to be a coincidence, you tell yourself. It canât be your fault.
âWhy that look?â Edmund asks and pokes your shoulder.Â
You havenât even realized that youâve been staring in front ot you, completely missing what the teacher has said the last half an hour.Â
âI feel weirdâ, you whisper.Â
âWhy?â Edmund asks, confused.Â
âHavenât you realized that people have died or disappeared?â
âI havenât thought about it too much. It doesnât interest me.â
âOh âŠâ
You look down in your lap where your nails scratch at each other.
âWhy are you putting so much thought about it?â Edmund questions.Â
âIâve talked to them all ⊠theyâve disappeared or died after theyâve been in my presence. Do you think it has something to do with me?â
âYou think everything has to do with you.â
âI do not!â
The teacher scolds you for raising your voice and disturbing the class. Edmund smirks for himself. It stays on until youâre let out of the classroom.Â
âWait, Y/N, can you stay for a moment?â the teacher asks.Â
You nod and walk over with Edmund behind you.Â
âThe headmaster wants to talk to youâ, the teacher says.Â
âWhat?â you ask.Â
âWhy?â Edmund demands to know.Â
"It's urgent. Please hurry to his office.â
You give Edmund a nervous glance and hurry out. He follows closely with a cold look on his face.
âWhat do you think could have happened?â you ask him while rounding the corner.
âNo ideaâ, he responds shortly. âBut if they're trying to put you in trouble I'm snapping their necks.â
You can feel him take your hand tightly. You'll end up with bruises, you're sure.
The headmaster's office is dimly lit. He sits behind the desk with a worried look in his eyes. It only makes you even more terrified.
âY/N, goodâ, he says and sits up straight. âI have some very serious matters to discuss with you. I see that you brought your friend.â
Edmund looks greatly offended at his title.
âWhat is it?â you ask carefully.Â
âI'm sure that you haven't missed the unfortunate death of some of our students during these last few weeks ⊠and they've all linked with you somehow-â
âDo you think she has killed them?â Edmund bursts out angrily.
âI did not say that. Please calm down. What I am saying is that the murders are linked with you somehow and to prevent more innocent students from death, we'll have to suspend you for a while.â
His words hit you like a missile in your chest.Â
âWhat?â you ask quietly. âSuspend me? I haven't done anything wrong!â
âI know, Y/N, but we need to catch this murderer before he does more harm and with you here, we risk even more lives.âÂ
âHow do you even know that Y/N is linked, hm?â Edmund questions snarky.
âWell, we're not one hundred percent sure, so sending Y/N home will determine if the murderers had anything to do with her or not. You'll take the train tomorrow evening. I'm sorry, Y/N.â
You can't seem to move, wondering if someone has put a spell on you. Your head pounds, and you start to wonder if you're hallucinating, almost hoping for it. Edmund leads you out to the corridor and grabs your shoulders to force you to look at him.
âYou haven't done anything wrong, do you understand that?â he asks you harshly.Â
You nod carefully.
âI don't want to go homeâ, you shake your head quickly as tears form in your eyes.Â
âYouâll be back soon enough. When they realize that you have nothing to do with it, they have to bring you back.â
But you have to go back, and you know better than to argue with grown ups. Whether you want to or not, youâre on the train the next day, with all your belongings. Hedwig and Edmund are standing on the station, waving you off.Â
âThis fucking sucksâ, Edmund mutters, watching the train leave.Â
âIâm so worried for herâ, Hedwig says shakily. âI hope that theyâre not mean to her.â
âWho?â
âHer parents.â
Edmund stares at her in shock, almost fear. âWhat about her, parents, Hedwig?â
âYou didnât know?â
âKnow what?â
âY/N told me that theyâre creative with ⊠punishments. They didnât want her to come here ⊠and now that sheâs been gone for half a semester, Iâm scared what theyâre going to do to her once she comes back. She might not be allowed to come back ⊠or they might hurt her.â
âNot on my fucking watch.â
He starts to walk back towards the school.
âWhat are you going to do?â Hedwig shouts behind him.
Edmund stops and walks back to her with burning, icy eyes.Â
âI am going to get Y/N out of that house and you are going to keep killing hereâ, he says sharply. âDo you understand that, halfblood?â
âMe?!â Hedwig almost screams.Â
Edmund covers her mouth with his hand.Â
âShut upâ, he orders her, âor else the entire country will hear you.â
She removes his hand forcefully and glares at him.Â
âEdmund, I canât kill anyoneâ, she hisses.Â
âOh, you fucking canâ, Edmund scoffs. âI know youâre not all nice. Donât even try. You had no problem threatening me on on the quidditch court. You have no remorse when you give me information on the people that I kill. You can do it too, stop pretending to be some weak lamb.â
Hedwig doesnât answer.Â
âWhy do I have to keep killing?â she mutters. âY/Nâs gone.â
âBecause she wonât get to return otherwiseâ, Edmund replies. âIf the headmaster realizes that the murders really do link with Y/N, sheâll never get to come back â they might even think it was her that killed them ⊠and then sheâll be sent to Azkaban. Is that what you want?â
Hedwig shakes her head quickly.Â
âThatâs what I thoughtâ, he says. âMy friends will help you kill whoever you need to. I am going to go get Y/N.â
âI know the muggle world better than you. Why canât I go get her and you stay?â
âBecause I donât fucking trust you.â
âI donât trust you.â
âI donât care.â
With that said, he walks away, leaving Hedwig alone on the platform.Â
You cry the entire way back. You havenât done anything, why are you getting punished? Itâs not fair. Now youâre getting sent back to your parents while the murderer is still allowed to roam the halls of Hogwarts. Youâll never be allowed to go back.Â
When the train stops, youâre met by your parents outside the window. You remain in your seat. They go on board to get you when they realize that you refuse to come out.Â
âY/N, get upâ, your mother says coldly. âStop being childish.â
You donât look at them, donât answer. Your father grabs a hold of your arm and pulls you up from the seat.Â
âDonât touch me!â you shout. âI can walk by myself.â
You press yourself past them and walk out on the platform. The entire ride home is silent, but you know that the second the front door closes, youâll know what hell feels like. And youâre of course right, because the second your father locks the front door behind you, you feel a slap over your cheek. With wide eyes, you back away and put your hand on your cheek. They have never put their hands on you. They have done countless embarrassing and hurtful punishments, but they have never hurt you physically. Not like this. if you werenât stunned, youâd scream at them.Â
âI donât even want to look at youâ, your mother says in disgust and walks into the living room.Â
âJust go to your room and stay thereâ, your father says in the same manner. âI will confiscate all of your âmagicâ supplies.â
You donât question them and walk upstairs. The second you close your bedroom door behind you, you break out into sobs. You knew that this would happen at the end of the year, but you had wished that you could have stayed a semester, at least. Itâs not fair.Â
You sink down on your bed and hide your face in your hands and you sit like that for who knows how long. The sky turs dark and the moon greets you, but you ignore him. You donât move out of your spot, not even when your stomach starts to growl.Â
Suddenly, you can hear a crash from downstairs. Quickly, you stand up and are about to run over to the door, when you remember your parents. You donât want to go downstairs and show them that the loud sound worried you. They donât deserve that after what theyâve done. Instead, you cross your arms and lay down in bed, curling up in to a ball with your back towards the door. You shut out the sounds from downstairs, humming for yourself to drown them out.Â
When you hear your door open, youâre too scared to turn around.Â
âY/N.â
Edmund? You turn around and see him standing in the doorway, blood dripping from his hair and covering his cloak. He smiles when seeing you, the first genuine smile youâve ever seen him wear. He hurries over to you and hugs you tightly. Youâre smushed against his chest and can feel his hands everywhere. His bloody hands.Â
âW-What have you done?â you stutter into his neck while trying your best to push him off.Â
âIâm here to save you!â he says. âHedwig told me about your parents. They wonât keep you captive anymore.â
âWhat have you done?!â
You manage to push him off. He looks confused.Â
âThey were being mean to you, Y/Nâ, he says in a questionable manner. âTheyâve hurt you. Your cheek âŠâ
You canât understand how he can sense a redness in the skin.
âWhat have you done?â you ask, quieter this time.Â
âIâve killed themâ, he says firmly. âI killed them without magic. Just how mudbloods deserve to be killed.â
Your eyes widen. Your body goes cold at the thought of Edmund taking someone's life. It doesn't matter if he thinks that he's doing you a favor, the action itself is enough to make you mortified. You try to crawl back on the bed, but your head hits the wall, trapping you. Edmund grabs your leg and pulls you back, closer to him.Â
âDonât run away from meâ, he tells you. âNot now. I came all the way here to help you.â
âHow did you even get here?â you sob.Â
âMy father helped me. Now come here-â
You start to claw at him when he tries to pick him up, accidentally revealing the tattoo on his wrist. You stop dead in your tracks and heâs quick to pull his sleeve down.Â
âHedwig was rightâ, you pant. âYou fucking monster!â
âMonster or not, I saved youâ, Edmund reminds you and takes your moment of surprise to his advantage, pulling you over his shoulder. âNow weâre going.â
You start to scream and kick, so he wrestles you down on the floor in the corridor, picks something up from his pocket and pours something in your mouth. A liquid reminding you of Hedwigâs love potion. You cough to try to get it up, but Edmund covers your mouth with his hand and dictates it upwards, so youâll have no other choice but to swallow the unfamiliar liquid. You feel your body grow numb in a minute. Your eyes are still open, you can still hear, but you canât move.Â
âSorry for that, Y/Nâ, Edmund pants and picks you up again. âBut you canât behave. And I need you to be quiet.â
When he carries you downstairs, you can see the bloody bodies lying on the floor with limbs in positions and directions they definitely shouldnât be in. You want to scream, but you canât move.Â
Edmund carries you out to something looking like a car, but you can telly hat it isnât. It looks more like a carriage. He has a chauffeur in the front who starts to drive when Edmund has sitten down with you in his lap. The carriage flies, you notice when you spot your roof outside.Â
âIâm sorry, Y/Nâ, Edmund says and brushes the hair out of your face. âI didnât want to numb you, I hope you know that.â
How fucking could you?
âDonât give me that look.â
You killed my parents, you swine.
Edmund sighs and covers your eyes with his hand. He soon removes it when he feels water against his palm.
âY/N, don't cryâ, he sighs. âWhy are you even upset? They wouldnât let you come back to the place you belonged ⊠they hurt you. Stop looking at me like Iâm the bad guy here. Yes, I killed them but I did you a favor.â
He doesn't say more until the carriage stops outside of a dark house. Edmund carries you inside (where it's just as dark), up a pair of marmot stairs and into a bedroom. You can tell that it's his right away by the moving pictures of dark wizards on the wall. He lies you down on his bed and sit by your side, caressing your cheek until the potion is diluted enough in your blood for you to move. It wonât be fully gone until it has exited your body. You sit up and look around, feeling his eyes on you.Â
âWhy did you do that?â you ask quietly. âDid you kill all the others too? In school?â
Edmund nods.Â
âYou fucking creepâ, you breathe out.Â
Edmund scoffs, but doesnât answer. âArenât you happy I killed them for you? Your parents are awful. They hurt you, they didnât see your potential.â
âThey were my fucking parents âŠâ
âAnd they hurt you.â
Silence.Â
âYour tattoo âŠâ, you say hesitantly. âWhy?â
Edmund covers his wrist with his hand, even though his shirt already hides the tattoo.
âWhat should I have done, do you think?â he asks. âWhen all around me want me to have it? Say no? And be discarded by everyone? I donât think so.â
âYouâve sold your soul. Youâre a monster.â
Edmund doesnât answer.Â
âYour family hates people like me, donât they?â you ask. âWhat if I tell your father that youâre having me here? That his pureblood son is killing for a mudblood?â
âYou wouldnât fucking dare. In that case, he kills both of us, smartass.â
âI want Hedwig.â
âI donât think you do, sweetheart.â
âWhy?â
âBecause sheâs in on it too.â Edmund smiles. âFace it, darling, your parents would die sooner or later.â
It hits you that youâre an orphan now. Youâre all alone. No house, no family ⊠and apparently no friends.Â
Youâre allowed to return to Hogwarts a month later. Edmund brings you with him, holding you tightly by his side.Â
âY/N!â Hedwig shouts and runs over to you, hugging you tightly. âSweetheart!â
You don't move. Hedwig pulls back and looks at you worriedly.
âWhat's wrong?â she asks.
âShe knowsâ, Edmund says shortly.
âOh ⊠b-but you know that we did it for you, right? Y/N?â
âYou disgust meâ, you whisper. âBoth of you.â
âWell, too fucking badâ, Edmund says. âYou're stuck with us now. Tell anyone and I'm going to bring you back home. You want to stay here, don't you?â
You nod shortly.
âThen behaveâ, Edmund tells you.
âYou'll not have a hard time doing thatâ, Hedwig smiles sadly and caresses your cheek. âYou're such a lovely girl.â
You want nothing more than to wake up from this bizarre nightmare. Why did they have to ruin your magical place?
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the great divide (steve harrington x fem!reader)
Summary: (Post Season 4 AU, the sequel to orange juice) After your miraculous return to the land of the living, you aren't doing well.
Word Count: ~12k
Warnings: 18+ PLEASE!!!! for language, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. The reader has panic attacks and intrusive thoughts about Not Wanting To Be Alive. If that will be triggering for you please don't read this (read my happier bloom series instead). there's also an allusion to a relapse, slut-shaming, and allusions to sex (although there's no smut, it just gets slightly steamy). this fic is angst + hurt/comfort with an optimistic ending. inspired by noah kahan's music (including this amazing demo on instagram).
a/n: please let me know if i missed any warnings. please don't read this if you think it will be too triggering. the last thing i want is to make someone upset! but writing this was cathartic and helped me work through some things, i think. writing is magical!
đ«đ«đ«
THE GREAT DIVIDE
SOMETIME IN 1987
You arenât sure how long itâs been since you last saw your friends. It feels like a fucking long time.
You woke up on the ground of the Upside Down, covered in dried blood and terrified at the sight of Vecna towering above you.
He brought you back to life. He wanted to send you back home and use you as a soldier and spy, the same thing he did to Will, Billy, Heather, and countless others.
âIf you do this,â Vecna had growled, âYou can once again see your family. Your friends. Your beloved Steven. OtherwiseâŠyou will die here.â
You refused, not interested in being his lackey. He tried to flay you anyway, but he was weak from the hell Nancy, Steve, and Robin rained down on him, allowing you to escape his clutches.
He stalked you for days, finally catching up to youâbut you got the upper hand, using Eddieâs spear to stab him. Repeatedly. Â
Killing Vecna caused the gates he opened to sew themselves back shut before you could get through. You were glad that your friends no longer had to worry about Vecna and his army of monsters pouring through the four gates, but it meant you were trapped on the wrong side of the universe.
Vecna gone meant the Upside Down could revert back to what it was before he arrived. Now, the sky of the Upside Down was a buttery yellow, and it was much warmer. You saw patches of green grass and flowers starting to grow in various spots around town. But it still felt like a nightmare.
You wander the Upside Down each day with a routine: avoid monsters, forage for food and clean water, and visit the gates to see if any of them reopened. Food and water arenât as hard to find as you feared, since the world isnât so much of a poison, desolate nightmare anymore. But the gates stay staunchly shut, much to your chagrin.
You miss your life. You miss Steve. You miss his laugh, his smile, his kisses, his touch. You would do ungodly things to see him again.
You hope heâs okay. Any time you want to give up, you remind yourself that if roles were reversed, Steve would keep fighting to come back to you no matter what.
And, to your pleasant surprise, he does just that.
đ«đ«đ«
AUGUST 1987
Itâs been three months since you returned to the land of the living. Youâre not taking it well.
Surviving the Upside Down meant constantly being in fight-or-flight, scrambling to find food and clean water while avoiding demo-creature attacks. Without Vecnaâs evil influence, the animals werenât so bloodthirstyâbut they still needed to eat.
You were able to avoid them, surviving yourself off disgusting canned food from the Upside Downâs version of the Big Buy and whatever houses you ransacked. It wasnât very appetizing. It made the meal you were serving up today seem like a 5-star, 5-course delight.
It was neither of those things. It was for a church potluck that your mother had a hand in throwing. Lots of casseroles and carbs. She dragged you along to volunteer in hopes to get you out of the house.
Ever since you left the hospital in May, youâd only ever left the house to go to doctorâs appointments, therapy appointments, and Steveâs place. Your parents wanted to encourage more of a well-rounded life and schedule, and although theyâd never admit it, you figured they hoped youâd turn back to your normal self. To the person you were before it all happened.
You think she might have died.
As you plate some macaroni and cornbread for your next patron, you sense eyes on you. You glance over and see two women at a table a few feet away. To your chagrin, theyâre gossiping about you.
âI mean, itâs appalling,â an old bat named Shirley hisses. âShe claims to have lost her memory after the earthquake and gotten lost, but itâs obvious that she just ran away.â Â
âProbably thought she was grown up, that she knew better than her parents,â Mildred says with a sniff, adjusting her too-big glasses.
âI canât believe she left poor Steve Harrington high and dry,â Shirley adds.
Your heart clenches at the fact that these women see you as a villain, as an irresponsible idiot who up and left everyone who loved her out of spite. If they knew the truthâŠif they knew the nightmare youâd survivedâŠ
It only gets worse from there.
âYou know what Cynthia told me?â Mildred says. âThat her cousinâs roommateâs friendâs brother saw Y/N working a street corner in Manassas. It's just shameful.â
Anger burns through you, hot like hellfire. So, what? Youâre not just a flakeâyouâre a slut to this people now, too? What happened to âloving thy neighborâ and âforgivenessâ and all that shit?
âCan I get some more of that?â an elderly man says.
It snaps you back to your task at hand: dishing out food to hungry churchgoers.
âAh, yeah,â you say. You dump macaroni on his Styrofoam plate. âSorry. Here you go.â
The man smiles and ambles off. You take a deep breath and try your best to tune out the whispers of the chattering hens.
Your mother must notice the scowl on your face. She makes her way to you, practically floating, as graceful as ever. Sheâs totally in her element. She deserves a daughter who doesnât clomp and stumble her way through life. Who doesnât jump at every loud noise and sleep with a hunting knife under her pillow.
âDoing all right?â your mother asks you, giving you that sympathetic look that you think you might despise by now.
You muster up a smile of your own and nod.
Your mother canât tell its fake and beams.
âSee?â she says. âI knew getting you out of the house would turn that frown upside-down!â
She doesnât know about the Upside Down. She thinks you got injured in the earthquake, stumbled through the Indiana woodlands, and got found by cops two states over. That you couldnât remember where you came from due to amnesia, that since they pronounced you dead no one assumed you were the missing girl from Hawkins until your memories came back.
You let her comment slide and fake a smile, figuring itâs better to pretend youâre fine than feel it all.
đ«đ«đ«
That night, you chat with Steve on the phone. Heâs gone back to college for the fall semester and you miss him terribly.
He promised heâd come back to Hawkins every other weekend. He knows how hard itâs been for you coming back. Or, he says he knows. Sometimes, you get the idea that he doesnât really understand.
How could he? Every time he tries to get you to open up about what happened and what you went through, you shut down.
However, when he asks how your day was, you decide to be honest.
âIt sucked,â you say. You blow out a huff of air. âThese old crones were being total bitches at the church potluck. Apparently, the new conspiracy theory is that I was turning tricks in Virginia.â
âUgh, Iâm so sorry Y/N,â Steve says. For some reason, the sympathy in his voice makes you wince.
âBut itâs fine,â you say quickly. âI donât care what they say about me.â
Thereâs a pause on the other end of the line.
âItâs okay if you do, you know,â Steve says, speaking slowly and carefully as if heâs worried about setting you off. (For good reason; youâve been prone to outbursts of anger lately.)
âI know!â you say, defensiveness seeping into your tone. âBut I donât give a shit. Really.â
âGood,â Steve says. But he sounds unconvinced. âYou shouldnât.â
Another pause. It lasts a little too long for your liking. You clear your throat.
âI should probably shower and head to bed,â you say. âItâs been a long day.â
âYeah, totally,â Steve says. You donât understand why he sounds almost intrigued by the prospect of your boring nighttime routine until he says, âA shower with you sounds like heaven right nowâŠâ
Shit. Youâre really not in the mood for phone sex. Even if thatâs not what Steve is angling for, just slightly flirty banter doesnât sound fun to you either.
Steve has been a total gentleman ever since you got back. Youâve kissed a little, but anytime he tries to take it further, you stop him. As much as you longed for him in every sense while in the Upside Down, you donât feel ready to re-engage in those kinds of activitiesâlike youâve been shot back to the insecure, unconfident person you were before you started dating Steve.
He respects those boundaries and never, ever presses for more. But you worry heâs getting bored and wants to get back into old habits, possibly evidenced by his shower comment.
Youâre a coward. You donât tell him outright that youâre not in the mood, afraid heâll have an out-of-character reaction and chew you out for being a prude or a tease.
âHuh?â you say. Steve starts to repeat his salacious comment, but you interrupt with: âBadâŠconnectionâŠcanâtâŠbetterâŠâ
You hang up the phone and let out a breath you didnât know you were holding.
đ«đ«đ«
OCTOBER 1987
Itâs a Thursday in October, and youâre taking a trip for the first time in a long time.
âYou have everything you need?â
âYes, Mom.â
âToothbrush? Extra socks? Lambchop?â
You huff and roll your eyes, crossing your arms like a petulant teenager.
âMom! Iâm an adult. I do not need a stuffed animal.â
âBut you packed her, right?â
You mumble out a âYesâ as she pulls up to the parking lot near Steveâs apartment building.
You applied for spring admission at the University of Indiana. Your lovely boyfriend invited you to stay with him for a few days so he could show you around campus for homecoming weekend.
Tonight is the unofficial campus tour with âTour Guide Steve.â Tomorrow, youâll help him and his friends put the finishing touches on a homecoming parade float, and Saturday is the big football game.
Before your disappearance and assumed death, your parents were insanely strict about you staying the night with Steve and wouldnât have allowed it. Now, theyâve mellowed outâbut you hate thinking itâs because of some kind of twisted pity.
Steve must have seen your momâs minivan pull up from his apartment window, because he jogs over to you before youâve even grabbed your bag from the trunk.
âHey, babe!â he says with a beaming grin; the picture of exuberance. You can feel his excitement roll off him in waves. You feel like an asshole for matching his energy. Even though youâre excited for time with Steve, you have a pit in your stomach at the thought of being away from home for so many days.
Of course, if you get accepted to U of I, youâll be away from home for weeks at a time. You try not to think about that.
Steve hugs you tightly, and you hope he canât sense your apprehension.
He seems not too, still smiling as he gives your mom a quick hug and then offers to carry your duffel bag for you.
You give your mom a hug goodbye, promising to call if you want to get picked up early.
You and Steve wave as your mom drives away. After dropping your bag off at his apartment, Steve takes you on an abridged campus tour that ends at the dining hall. He wants to introduce you to his friends.
He has friends here. Of course he does, youâre glad he does. No one should feel like they donât have friends, or like their girlfriend is their only friend. But what does it mean that your boyfriend is your only friend lately?
Nancyâs off at Emerson. As for the Hawkins crew, Jonathanâs busy with family stuff, helping Joyce and Hopper renovate their new house. Eddieâs preoccupied with his band, trying to get Corroded Coffin off the ground after a he-was-accused-of-murder hiatus. And Robinâs a student at Roane County Community College, spending her days with marching band and classes and clubs and work.
Theyâve started inviting you to things, and sometimes you go. You usually donât have much fun, distracted with your own anxieties and unable to think of anything interesting to say.
So, the fact that Steve seems to have moved on from everything so easily and has a pack of friends at college makes you feel pathetic, even though it shouldnât.
At the dining hall, Steve introduces you to his buddies. When Steve lived on-campus last semester, Gus was his roommate. Now Steveâs moved into his own apartment off-campus, but the boys still hang out often and play together on a club basketball team.
Jessica is Gusâ girlfriend. She has a kind smile and compliments your sweater.
The last friend in their clique is Rochelle. Sheâs tall and slender, like a supermodel. Apparently, she and Jessica grew up together and are good friends.
Everyone greets you happily when Steve introduces youâexcept Rochelle, who looks you up and down like sheâs inspecting you. It makes you uneasy.
You immediately start to dislike her more when she laughs loudly at Steveâs jokes and squeezes his shoulder flirtatiously.
âYou are tew much, Harrington,â Rochelle says, flipping her shiny hair over her shoulder.
It makes you feel tense and jealous and angry and sick all at once.
Youâre completely content to listen in silence while the others chat, but then Jessica asks where you go to school.
âOh, um, here, in the spring,â you say. âUh, hopefully.â
âThatâs awesome!â Gus says. âYou get the full Hoosiers homecoming experience a whole semester before having to pay tuition.â
You chuckle and smile. Any good feelings you have about this interaction come crashing down when Rochelle asks, âSo, like, if you arenât a student right now, what do you do?â
âSheâs working at Sonic,â Steve says. âSaving up money. Right babe?â
You turn to him, face falling. Youâre not working. You tried to apply for a job at Sonic and had a panic attack when you saw the gap in your resume from your 15 months in the Upside Down, so you roller-skated your way home to unemployment.
Did you not tell Steve that? You suppose you âforgotâ to tell him about that panic episode.
âUh, actually no,â you say, furrowing your brow. âNot anymore. Iâm just taking a semester off.â
Surprise flashes behind Steveâs eyes, but he recovers quickly. He throws an arm around your shoulders and says, âRight, of course.â
The rest of the conversation is mostly you smiling and nodding along to the funny stories and inside jokes the group shares. When you and Steve get back to his place later that evening, you apologize for not updating him on the Sonic situation sooner.
Steve waves away your apology.
âDonât even worry about it,â he says.
âBut I feel bad,â you say, fidgeting with your fingers while you sit next to him on the couch. âI canât believe I forgot to tell you.â
(You didnât truly forget. You were embarrassed and didnât want him to know.)
âThese things happen,â Steve says. âI totally get it. For a few months after Vecna andâŠyou, my brain was like scrambled eggs. Iâd drink myself to a coma every other night. I definitely didnât have the sharpest mind.â
You appreciate him for understanding. Except you feel shitty because youâre lying to him about forgetting. Itâs a vicious cycle.
The two of you put on a movie, and while youâre lying on the couch with him, you start thinking of something you havenât done in a long, long time.
You lightly trace your hand up and down the arm thatâs wrapped around your middle.
âHey,â you say quietly. âWould you want toâŠâ
You clear your throat.
âWhat?â Steve asks.
You arenât sure how to ask for what you want without sounding wholly desperate and/or pathetic and/or like the horniest bastard alive.
âGo to your room?â you say.
âSure, if you want, we can go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.â
You laugh lightly.
âNo, I mean. You know.â
You wiggle your eyebrows and Steveâs jaw drops. Mouth agape, like a goldfish, his brains seems to short circuit.
The air is charged with something you havenât felt in a long time.
âAre you sure?â Steve says, a barely audibly whisper. His hand cups your cheek so delicately, and you feel cherished. Love. Seen.
âI am,â you whisper back, before pulling him closer to you for a kiss.
Itâs the kind of kiss you dreamed about while you were trapped in another universe.
It makes you feel electric, the same way your first kiss had. That iconic kiss happened because Steve found out youâd never played spin the bottle. In his kitchen late, late at night, he took an empty soda bottle and spun it on the countertop.
He had maneuvered it just right and stopped it with his hand when the bottle neck pointed right at you, like a compass needle finding truth north.
âWell, what do you know,â Steve had said at the time, with a dopey grin on his face. âItâs you.â
âIf you wanted to kiss me so bad,â you had quipped, âyou couldâve just asked.â
And then you two kissed like crazy, amongst other things.
Back in the present, all your hesitancies and qualms about re-engaging in intimacy and sex with Steve are thrown out the window when you feel his lips on yours.
Giddy as if itâs the first time (because, in a way, it kind of is), the two of you break apart and practically race down the hall to his bedroom. Thank goodness for no roommates, because when youâre in there, Steve slams the door and presses you against it to kiss some more, closing the gap between the metaphorical great divide that youâve placed between you both.
You tug at his shirt, and he pulls it off before the two of you stumble into his bed.
Things heat up, and theyâre going great. Steve is kissing and biting your neck, probably leaving a hickey or two, but you donât mind. His hands are gripping your waist, practically leaving scorch marks in their wake.
Youâre loving this. Youâre having a great time.
Until youâre not. The trains of thought in your brain all rush from the station at the same time, colliding at a junction on the tracks.
What if you give Steve an infection? Not an STD, but like, an Upside Down sickness. You could be a carrier and not even realize it. Is that a possibility? What did Dr. Owens say last time you saw him?
He advised you not to get pregnant. He said thereâs a possibility your future children could have birth defects after your time in the Upside Down. Birth defects! Youâre only 21 years old and your body is poisoned. Not enough to harm you in the short term, but the long term effects on you (and your progeny) could be terrible to deal with.
But Steve really wants kids. What if he finds out you canât give him children and he leaves you? You really, really donât want him to leave you.
You donât realize it, but you start breathing a little harder. To Steve, it seems like youâre insanely turned on. Mentally, your brain is on a different plane of existence.
Heâs going to leave you because heâs better off without you. He doesnât realize it yet but one day, one day. He will.
Vecna was right. Vecna said Steve would get tired and bored of you. Thatâs why the monster tried to recruit you, to flay you. Thatâs why he pursued you across the Upside Down for days, hunting you like a dog until he cornered you at the quarry.
Steve finally takes notice of your erratic breathing pattern. Youâre not reacting how you usually do to his kissing. He ceases the lovefest and leans up on his elbows.
âY/N? You okay?â
You donât hear him. You continue to hyperventilate, your eyes screwed tightly shut.
And when you stabbed the beast through the chest with the spear Eddie left behind, you didnât even feel sorry.
Is that the kind of person you are? A sick, violent freak?
But it was self-defense!
But if you hadnât tried to draw the demobats away, you wouldnât have been in that situation. You went against the plan. You caused all the bad things that happened to you.
Youâre a bad person. A bad omen. A bad girlfriend. A bad daughter. Aâ
âHey, can you hear me? Y/N?â
Steveâs soft, slightly panicked, voice brings you back down to reality.
You nod, eyes still shut.
âSorry,â you say. âI donâtâI donât know what happened.â
âItâs okay,â Steve says, still speaking quietly as if heâs afraid to scare you. You donât feel his hands on you anymore, but you sense heâs still close. âItâs okay. Can you sit up? I think you should drink something.â
You sit up slowly and open your eyes. Steve looks frazzled, but he musters up a smile when he hands you a glass of cold water.
âSorry,â you mumble.
âYou donât have to apologize.â
You donât respond, just take a sip.
âCan we just go to bed?â you say after a moment, voice cracking.
Steve nods and gives your knee a gentle squeeze.
âOf course. And, hey, listen, we donât have to have sex anytime soon, okay?â
âButââ
âNo, seriously,â Steve says, shaking his head vehemently. âI mean, of course I like having sex with you. Probably too much.â
You snort and shake your head, a small smile pulling at the corners of your mouth.
âBut you know I donât mind waiting. Right?â
You nod.
âYeah, I know.â
But as you lie awake, tossing and turning, your brain continues feeding you lie after lie, and you find yourself believing the opposite. Prude, tease. Bad girlfriend. Bad person.
đ«đ«đ«
The next morning, you, Steve, Gus, Jessica, and Rochelle work on a homecoming float for the club basketball team the boys are on.
Itâs fun at first. The parking lot is filled with floats for all different student organizations. Someone is playing music a bit too loud, but the energy is electric.
It takes a turn when Steve rushes off with Gus to get more supplies.
While youâre kneeling by the float trying to staple tinsel trim around the edge, you hear Rochelle and Jessica whispering conspiratorially on the other side. They canât see you due to a large papier mĂąchĂ© basketball blocking you from view.
You're awash with embarrassment, feeling warm head to toe, when you realize theyâre talking about you. Â
âYou know what Mollie told me?â Rochelle said. âWhen she and Steve were hooking up last year, he called her Y/N, like, three times.â
Your heart shrinks. You didnât know Steve had been involved with anyone while you were gone. In fact, he said the opposite.
âThatâs kind of sweet though, when you think about it,â Jessica muses. âBut I wonder what caused Steve and Y/N to break up and then get back together. Iâve never dreamed of breaking up with Gus.â
âI heard some other super freaky stuff about her,â Rochelle says. âMy sorority sister, Tina, is from Hawkins too. Apparently, Y/N had, like, amnesia or some shit after that earthquake thing. And she was like missing.â
âDamn,â Jessica says. âThatâs crazy. Howâd she remember stuff and get back home?â
âWho gives a shit?â Rochelle scoffs. âThatâs obviously a cover story. Tina said the real story is probably something much simpler. Like she ran away to become a stripper but couldnât hack it because she doesnât have a good body. And, well, weâve seen that firsthand.â
Anger and shame courses through your veins, and you tug on the hem of your sweatshirt. Youâre comforted only a miniscule amount when you hear Jessica come to your defense.
âDonât be such a jerk. And we have no idea what really happened so stop making shit up, mkay?â
âIâm just repeating what I heard. But Tinaâs right, her whole deal is so weird. I canât believe sheâs Steveâs girlfriend. He deserves better.â
Those words echo in your head. He deserves better. He deserves better. Youâve been thinking that a lot yourself lately.
You donât care if Jessica and Rochelle see you when you toss your stapler onto the ground and stomp off.
âOh, shit,â you hear Jessica say. âNice going, Roche.â
âItâs not my fault! I didnât know she was creeping around!â
As you beeline through the throngs of float-makers, you bump into Steve, holding a box of glittery something. He grins at you.
âHey, whereâs the fire?â
When he notices the grim look on your face, he sobers up.
âWhoa, what happened?â Â
âWhoâs Mollie?â you ask before you can stop yourself.
Steve pales. He swallows hard, grip on the box loosening. He gingerly sets it on the ground next to him and shrugs.
âNo one.â
âLiar.â
Steve glances around before leading you away from the crowd to a secluded spot on the outskirts of the parking lot.
âShe really was no one,â Steve repeats. âJust some girl I had a class with. I was lonely and she liked me, so we went out twice.â
âI heard Rochelle say you hooked up with her,â you say. You cross your arms and try to keep angry tears at bay. âYou told me you didnât find anybody else.â
âI didnât!â Steve says, a little louder. He clears his throat. âI meant that. We almost hooked up, but I couldnât stop thinking of you.â
You sigh and shake your head. You want to believe him so badly. But the voice in your head thatâs been so cruel to you lately isnât convinced.
âDo you still think about her?â
Steve scrunches up his face, wholly confused at your line of questioning.
âWhat? No, of course not. Like I said, we hung out twice, had one near-miss, and then never spoke again. Babe, is everything okay?â
He reaches a hand to your arm and you flinch away. Your action makes him frown deeper.
You rub your forehead.
âYeah, Iâm fine,â you say. âJust tired.â
A beat. You think Steveâs going to accept your answer, until: âWhy are you lying to me?â
âIâm not lying!â you say, irritation creeping into your tone. âIâm just tired. Okay, Steve?â
Steve fidgets from foot to foot. Heâs starting to look as agitated as you feel. With an annoyingly calm, even voice, he says, âI think youâre not being honest.â
âAnd I think you should shut up,â you fire back, before you can stop yourself.
Steveâs face contorts into a frown, the line between his brows deepening.
âWhoa, what the hell?â he says. âWhy are you being like this?â
âBecause I just found out you lied about not being involved with someone while I was gone!â
Steve rubs his face with his hands, as if heâs trying to scrub away whatever heâs feeling. He takes a deep breath, another one, and then finally speaks.
âY/N, I thought you were dead,â he says, voice strained. âYou canât seriously be jealous of me spending time with someone else because to my knowledge, I was never going to see you again.â
You know you should apologize for your outburst. Tell him about your insecurities, now dialed up to 1000 thanks to Rochelleâs comments. Rejoin his friends at the float like the normal girlfriend he probably wishes you were.
But instead, you find yourself voicing one of the fears thatâs been swirling in your brain since June.
âIt would be so much easier for you if that was still the case, right?â you ask, softly.
âExcuse me?â Steve asks.
âDo you ever regret it?â you ask. âBringing me back?â He doesnât react, doesnât move, doesnât blink. You clear your throat and, louder, add, âBecause it would be so much simpler for you to date a girl like Mollie or Rochelle.â
âJesus, Y/N,â Steve groans. âDonât bring Rochelle into this.â
âWhy not? Sheâs obviously obsessed with you!â
âYeah?â Steve scoffs. âWell, I donât like her. I like you.â He shakes his head, as if heâs short-circuiting, and corrects, âI love you!â
Too late. You already heard the Freudian slip of your worst nightmare. He doesnât regard you in the same way he did before your so-called death. Youâve changed too much.
You shake your head vehemently.
âNo,â you say. âNo. You loved the girl I was before it all happened.â
âYouâre still the same girl!â
âIâm not!â you shout. Youâre so angry, so upset, so emotional, you canât stop. Youâre floating above your body and watching yourself speak when you say, âIâm not. Sheâs gone, and sometimes I wish youâd never brought me back so I wouldnât feel like this.â
Steve goes still once more. When he finally replies, his voice is dangerously quiet: âHow dare you say that.â
You hadnât expected that. Youâd expected him to swoop in with comforting platitudes. To hug you and promise it would all be okay. To truly hear the words youâre sayingâthe thoughts youâve been too afraid to voice in therapy, thoughts youâve sugarcoated in your mind to lessen that bitter feeling on your tongue when you finally speak them aloud.
âWhat?â you whisper. Your eyes sting, unshed tears collecting on your lash line.
âHow dare you say that,â Steve says, shaking his head. Heâs angrier than youâve ever seen him. He runs a hand through his hair and barks out a laugh so hollow, you can practically hear the echo in his ribcage. âThatâs so fucking selfish that you wish you were still down there. I was miserable without you. I didnât want to go on. I didnât think I could!â
He's not getting what youâre trying to say. You open your mouth to reply, to apologize, to try and fix things, but Steve continues.
âSo for you to be so callous, to think so little of me, to think Iâd rather date some vapid airhead just because it would be âsimplerâ? To think I somehow canât love you anymore because of what you went through? Thatâs justâŠbullshit!â
You heave out a sob as tears roll down your cheeks. Steveâs expression morphs into one of guilt. He swallows hard.
âY/N, Iââ
âYou donât get to tell me my feelings are bullshit!â you snap. You sniffle and roughly wipe your tears away, before jabbing a finger into his chest and pressing in. âEver since Iâve been back, itâs all about how everyone else feels about it. You and my parents are so much happier, and you seem to think I can snap back to how I was before and forget it all happened and be grateful that I survived. Well, I canât!â
Despite your distance from the parade planning festivities, you see a few curious students glance in your direction. You canât be bothered to care.
âI donât know how to go on with life like normal after 15 months in that hell, and no one understands what Iâm going through!â you yell. âNo one has been through that! And Iâm miserable and scared and anxious and Iâm lying to my therapist week after week because I canât even verbalize what Iâm thinking without feeling like Iâm losing my goddamn mind. So sorry if sometimes I wish all this would go away.â
Steveâs facial expression cracks your heart in seventeen pieces. He looks devastated and confused.
âIâm so sorry,â he says, somewhat cautiously. âYouâre right. Iâm not handling this well, not seeing it from your point of view. But this is the most youâve expressed how youâre feeling about it all. For the past few months, IâI donât know. I thought you were feeling okay.â
You sniffle again and shrug.
âSorry.â
âItâs okay, Y/N,â Steve says. He clears his throat. âThis is good, I think. Well, no, itâs not good that weâre screaming at each other in the quad. But getting our feelings out isââ
âI want to go home,â you say, cutting him off.
Steve closes his eyes, sighs softly, and nods.
âYeah, okay. Iâll drive you back to Hawkins tonight.â
âNo, I want to go now,â you say, voice cracking as you try not to cry harder. âI want my mom to come get me.â
Hurt flashes on Steveâs features. âBabe, are you sure? I really donât mind. I want to, actually. The drive will give us more of a chance to talk.â
But youâre too tired and overwhelmed to talk anymore. Steve understands, though his shoulders are slumped as the two of you walk back to his apartment.
He offers to pack your bag while you call your house. Your mom picks up on the second ring.
âHello, Y/L/N residence.â
âMom?â you sniff. âCan you come get me?â
âOh, of course sweetie!â You hear the jingle of car keys. âWait, are you crying? Whatâs wrong? Was it another nightmare?â
âI just donât want to be here anymore.â
âDid you and Steve have a fight?â
âHis friends were really mean,â you say quietly, deciding not to disclose that you indeed got in an argument with Steve. âThis girl, Rochelle, said one of her friends from Hawkins is telling everyone I was a stripper.â
âOh, donât you listen to that.â
You canât hold back tears as you begin to cry harder.
âHow come everyone makes up those dumb rumors?â you say through sobs. âAnd if people on campus already know them, how much worse will it be if Iâm a student here?!â
Your mom soothes you over the phone before promising to get there as quickly as possible. As you hang up the phone, Steve comes in from down the hall, frowning and carrying your now-packed duffel. He doesnât even try to be subtle about his eavesdropping when he asks, âWhy didnât you tell me Rochelle said that to you?â
You shrug and look down at your feet.
Steve closes his eyes and shakes his head. âI keep replaying our conversation in my head,â he says, âand I feel like an ass.â
âYouâre not, Steve.â
âNo! I am. I absolutely am. You were honest and vulnerable, and I immediately got mad. Iâm so, so sorry.â
âItâs okay,â you say flatly. Admittedly, youâre not sure if you forgive him yet. But you know you didnât treat him well either, so you say, âIâm sorry too. I was insensitive. I know you had a hard time while I was goneââ
âBut itâs nothing compared to what you were dealing with,â Steve says. He steps closer to you and intertwines your hands together. âAre you sure you donât want me to drive you?â
âMy momâs already on her way,â you say. âAnd you should rest up. Tomorrowâs the parade, and the homecoming game.â
âI donât need to go to the game.â
âSteveââ
âIâd rather come back to Hawkins this weekend,â he continues. âSpend more time with you. Talk things through, you know? Maybe I can just ride with you and your mom, and Munson can bring me back Sunday.â
Heâs sweet. But you arenât sure how to tell him that you really, really donât want to be around him right now. You donât want to be around anyone, really.
You take a deep breath, gently drop his hands, and say, âI think I need some space.â
You canât look Steve in the eye, but you hear the pain in his voice when he says, âOh. Um, okay. Yeah. Of course. Space.â
You two sit in awkward silence while you wait for your mom to arrive. When she gets there, Steve continues to be a gentleman, carrying your bag for you and politely making small talk with your mom. He gives you a hug goodbye, but it doesnât linger the way his hugs usually do.
As your mom drives away, you watch your boyfriend get smaller and smaller in the side mirror.
Before leaving, you promised him youâd call him that night.
You conveniently âforgetâ to do that.
He leaves a message at 9:37 p.m., asking you to call him back.
You donât.
đ«đ«đ«
NOVEMBER 1987
âHey, babe. Itâs Steve. Again. I know we agreed on âspaceâ but I havenât heard from you in three weeksâŠI donât want to rush or smother you, but Iâd really like to talk, even if itâs for, like, five minutes. So please call me back. I love you, Y/N.â
-
âHey Y/N. Are you doing okay? Robin says she saw you and your mom at the store the other day and you just seemed kind ofâŠout of it. To be honest, Iâm worried about you. Listen, even if you donâtâŠeven if weâŠeven if youâve decided you donât want to be with me anymore, or something, I still care about you. And Iâll always be here for you, no matter what. Please call me. Bye. Love you.â
-
âHi Y/N, Iâm coming back to Hawkins for Thanksgiving. Can I come by after you and your parents have dinner? I want to check in. On how youâre doing, and on how youâre feeling about âus.â Let me know, okay? Bye, Y/N.â
-
âHey. Iâm going to swing by your place after Iâve finished Thanksgiving dinner with the Buckleys. Robin told me youâve been avoiding her too. And Eddie, and Jonathan. I know youâre going through a tough time, but donât try to do it alone. Thatâs a lesson I learned the hard way last year. Iâll see you tonight, all right?âÂ
đ«đ«đ«
Youâve spent the past month and a half wallowing. All you really do is sleep, eat, shower, and take short walks around your neighborhood for exercise. Any time Steve calls the house phone, you tell your parents to let it ring and let it go to voicemail.
Itâs shitty of you, but you arenât sure how to dig yourself out of this hole that youâve found yourself in. Youâre still feeling rather undeserving of Steve.
So when he shows up on your doorstep on Thanksgiving, wearing that maroon sweater that youâve always just adored, the first thing you do is apologize for your radio silence. Then, you offer him pumpkin pie.
âI wonât say no,â he says. âAs long as you split it with me.â
While your parents cuddle on the couch and watch Itâs A Wonderful Life, you and Steve sit on the kitchen counter and eat slices of pie with whipped cream.
For a few minutes, you exchange small talk and pleasantries. Then, Steve gets down to business.
âHow have you been doing, really?â Steve asks.
âFine. Just tired.â
âY/N,â Steve says with a sigh. âPlease just be honest with me.â
You suck in a breath.
âOkay. You want honesty? Iâm having a really hard time.â
âI know,â Steve says gently. âAnd I want to help. Can you talk to me about whatâs going on?â
You consider it. You consider wrenching your heart open for him and admitting all your fears and insecurities. But last time you broached this subject with Steve and tried to be wholly honest about what you were feeling, you didnât explain it right and he took it the wrong way.
And you also hear what sounds like Rochelleâs voice in your mind: He deserves better. He deserves better.
You save yourself the trouble and say, âI need to get my shit together. And Iâm not being a very good girlfriend while I do, so I think we need to break up.â
Despite your best efforts to stay strong, you feel tears coming on. Everything only worsens when you hear Steve whisper, âWhat?âÂ
He deserves better. He deserves better. He deserves better than you.
âI have to focus on myself right now,â you continue as the tears roll down your cheeks. You stab your pie with your fork and say, âIâm sorry. I love you so muchââ
âI love you too, Y/N, so Iââ
ââbut I need to deal with this on my own. Itâs not fair of me to treat you like this.â You clear your throat and add, âYou deserve someone who can give you everything you want.â
âYouâre what I want,â Steve says. You canât look at him, but you get the impression that heâs tearing up too. âI mean, if this is really what you want, Iâll respect your decision completely, but I just have to knowâis there anything I can do to change your mind?â
You donât want to do thisâ
âbut he deserves better.
âIâm sorry, but no.â
âYou donât have to do this alone,â Steve says after a beat. âEven if we arenât together anymore, Iâm still here for you. You know that, right?â
You nod, still decimating your pie slice with your fork.
âOkay, good.â He sniffles.
âSorry.â
âItâs okay. You donât have to keep apologizing.âÂ
âSorry. Ah, I meanââ
Steve chuckles, despite everything. You two share an awkward hug goodbye before he leaves.
You stay in the kitchen and hear him wish your parents âHappy holidays.â As you hear the front door open and shut, as you hear his car turn on and drive away, you try to convince yourself this was the correct choice. That shutting him out means heâll live a happier life without you.
The pit of emptiness like a chasm in your soul will go away eventually, right?
đ«đ«đ«
FEBRUARY 1988
Itâs been 3 months since you broke up with Steve.
You decided to defer your U of I enrollment. Steve, being a good friend, calls a few days before the semester starts asking if youâd like help moving into your dorm, and you break the news to him. He understands but sounds disappointed. It makes you feel terrible.
But this is the right choice. You arenât ready to be away from home, away from your parents, even if itâs just a couple hours away.
You start taking community college classes to fill your time and get some credits, along with working at Bradleyâs Big Buy as a stocker. Itâs mindless, monotonous work. Itâs kind of perfect.
What isnât so perfect is your therapist, Elaine. Sheâs nice enough. But she doesnât seem to get it. You arenât able to fully tell her what you went through, considering she knows nothing about the Upside Down, so she canât really help you.
When you start opening up about the dark thoughts worming their way through your mind, Elaine advocates strongly and staunchly for putting yourself out there and making new friends to fill the void. Youâre starting to wonder if youâre wasting your time shelling out $50 a week.
You do think a better social life would be good for you, so you invite Robin, Eddie, and Jonathan to come over to your place for a horror movie marathon. (Nancy would be invited too, if she wasnât away at school.) Youâve rented a D-level slasher trilogy about a man in a hockey mask attacking pageant queens. Itâs small potatoes compared to what youâve actually been through.
Jonathan agrees, but both Robin and Eddie tell you they canât make it. Robin because sheâs got the flu. Eddie because he has band practice all afternoon and into the night.
It stings like a barb ripping you open when you swing by Melvaldâs for cheap movie candy and spot the two of them across the street, laughing as they head into the Hawk withâŠSteve, who must be home from school for the weekend.
So they do want to have a movie night. Just with Steve and not you. Message received.
You wonder if Steve said something to sour you in their eyes. You thought the breakup was amicable. You know he was upset by it, but he respected your decision. And he doesnât seem like the type to badmouth an ex, especially after all youâve been through together.
But anxiety rolls through your nervous system the rest of the day. As you and Jonathan watch the crappy movies, you just feel numb.
âJee-sus!â Jonathan yelps as the killerâs chainsaw hacks through someoneâs limb.
He glances your way, eyebrows raising. âWhat? That didnât scare you?â
You shrug. âIâve seen worse.â
Jonathanâs brow furrows. He leans over and pauses the movie.
âHey, is everything okay?â
âIâm fine.â
âAre you sure? We can watch something else. Or, if youâd rather be alone, I can head out.â
You pick at a loose thread on the pillow in your lap.
âAre Robin and Eddie mad at me?â you whisper.
âWhat?â Jonathan says with a laugh. âYouâre, like, the nicest person in a fifty-mile radius. Why would they be mad at you?â
The old you was nice. The current you is moody. But Jonathan is also pretty moody, so maybe your moodiness is baseline in his eyes.
âThey both said they couldnât come tonight,â you continue, âbut then I saw them just an hour ago in downtown Hawkins heading into the Hawk with Steve. Why else would they make up excuses not to come unless they were mad?â
Jonathan takes a long, slow sip of his grape soda and shrugs.
âItâs probably because they donât want you to think they chose Steve over you in the breakup.â
âBut thatâs exactly what they did!â
âMaybe not,â Jonathan says. âMaybe they just made the plans with Steve before you invited us over and itâs easier to turn down your invitation than cancel on him.â
Thatâs a very logical way of looking at it, but it still stings feeling like youâve lost two friends since you and Steve arenât together anymore.
You and Jonathan continue watching, but his mom calls halfway through the second movie, forcing him to leave earlyâsomething about El using telekinesis to turn her bed into a bunk bed and it backfiring horribly.
You try to push your worries out of your mind, but paranoia takes a hold. As you toss and turn in your bed that night, clutching Lambchop for a semblance of comfort, your brain bullies you.
Robin and Eddie are pissed at you. Probably because you havenât gone to any Corroded Coffin shows since youâve been back. Youâve been a little preoccupied.
A little selfish, more like. It doesnât matter what youâre going through. You should still support your friends.
But why? You donât like drinking alcohol anymore because you donât like feeling out of control. And the Hideout is the only place Corroded Coffin plays, and that place reeks of booze and cigarettes and bad decisions.
Maybe thatâs why Eddieâs mad. Is Robin mad by proxy? Did Steve shit-talk you to her? How did he describe the events of the breakup?
Were you a bad girlfriend? Are you a bad friend? Bad person?
Yes. Youâre a bad person.
đ«đ«đ«
You happen to run into Robin on the community collegeâs campus the following Monday. You canât help but ask if sheâs feeling better.
Her eyes widen and she plasters on a smile.
âO-oh, yeah!â she says. âIâm feeling loads better. Tons! Tons better.â
âYour sinus infection is gone?â you prompt, knowing full well she told you it was the flu.
âYep! All gone. My sinuses are as healthy as can be. I feel like I could live to be 100!â
You exchange a few more pleasantries and shuffle off.
đ«đ«đ«
MARCH 1988
Thereâs a dark cloud hovering over your mind. Most days, youâre lethargic. You go to classes and go to work, and you do start going to the Hideout on Tuesday nights with Jonathan and Robin to watch Eddie play with his band.
But thatâs the extent of your social life. Youâre feeling lonely and drained.
Things take a turn for the worse in March. It was a cold, cold winter in Hawkins, and spring is shaping up to be warmer but just as gloomy. Really bad thunderstorms shake the windowpanes of your house most days, and the streaks of lightning remind you so much of the grayish-yellow Upside Down sky, it makes you sick.
You canât help but find yourself thinking you want to disappear to escape it all. Not die, exactly. But fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. Maybe when you woke up, things would be better.
You try to explain what youâre feeling to Elaine the Therapist, and she doesnât understand what you meant in the slightest.
âHave you gotten checked for narcolepsy?â she asks.
You give her a tight smile and say youâll ask your doctor about it at your next checkup.
A bright spot is when Robin invites you to a party at her apartment. You forgot her and Eddieâs little white lie from a few weeks ago and RSVP yes.
The party is going well. Youâre having a nice conversation with Jonathan and Eddie when Steve walks in, and heâs not alone.
Your heart sinks to your feet, through the floor, and all the way to the core of the earth when you see Steve is joined by Rochelle.
You donât even hear any of the conversations happening around you. You quickly excuse yourself to the kitchen for a glass of waterâand because you need to be alone.
You get about 15 seconds of a reprieve before Steve enters.
âListen, itâs not what you think,â he says quickly.
âHello to you too, Steve,â you say. You canât even look him in the eye, choosing instead to study the ice cubes in your glass.
âIâm not here with Rochelle,â Steve continues. He runs a hand through his hair. âI mean, yes, sheâs here. And Iâm here. And weâre here together. But not together together! God, Iâm not making any sense, am I?â
âNone at all.â
âShe needed a ride to her parentsâ house for the weekend,â Steve explains. âShe lives just forty-five minutes from here. But I guess they were out of town, and she didnât have a key, so sheâs staying with me. And she didnât want to spend all day in my house alone, soââ
âSheâs here,â you finish for him. You finally look him in the eye and force a smile. âThatâs fine, Steve. You can hang out with whoever you want.â
âTrust me,â Steve snorts. âIâd rather not be hanging out with her. Iâm just doing her a favor because sheâs friends with Jessica and Gus.â
Before you can respond, Rochelle saunters into the kitchen. She smiles like a sharkâall gums and teeth.
âOh, itâs you!â she says. âY/N! How have you been?â
âFine,â you say politely. âHow about you?â
âOh, just great. Really great. Sad to not see you around campus, though. I thought you enrolled?â
She has the impressive capability of making everything single sentence sound like an insult.
âIâm going to community college instead,â you explain. âBut I really should get back out there.â
You give Steve and Rochelle a wide berth before stepping back into the living room.
The rest of the party goes by fine. Except you canât quite contain your rage watching Rochelle throw herself at Steve all afternoon.
She sits too close to him. She constantly whispers in his ear and giggles, like theyâre sharing inside jokes and secrets. While Robinâs putting on a movie for everyone to watch, you swear you even see Rochelle put her hand on Steveâs thigh.
The only thing that makes you feel better is that Steve blocks every one of these advances. While Eddie regales you all with a Corroded Coffin storytime, you even notice Steve's slotted himself in between Robin and the wall, forcing Rochelle to stand off to the side near a potted plant.
When the partyâs over, you wish Robin well and try to slip out unnoticed. Unfortunately, Steve has a terrible habit of noticing everything about you, and he follows you out.
âHey, wait up!â he calls, jogging behind you as you speed walk to your car to avoid the sprinkling rain.
âSorry, I have to go,â you say, struggling to unlock your car door.
Before you can get it unlocked and make your escape, Steve places a hand over the driverâs side door handle.
âHold on,â he says. âCan we go somewhere and talk?â
âWell, I have to get homeââ
âThisâll take five minutes,â Steve promises. He traces an X over his heart. âCross my heart, hope to cry.â
You scrunch your nose in confusion. âItâs âdie.ââ
âHuh?â
âItâs âCross my heart, hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye.ââ
Steveâs eyes widen and jaw drops, affronted. âJesus Christ,â he grumbles. âWhy would anyone ever want to do that?â
âThatâs the point!â you say, and you canât help but laugh at the appalled look on his face. âYou donât want to do that, so you keep the promise.â
âAh. Okay, well, Iâll be fast. I just want to see how youâve been doing these past few months. IâI miss you, you know?â
You swallow hard. The rainâs starting to pick up now. You donât want to wait too much longer to drive home, or else itâll be too hard to see. And if you see lightning, youâll probably have a panic attack behind the wheel, making you a danger to yourself and others.
âI miss you too,â you say. âBut I really, really need to get home now.â
You think of leaving it at that, but your heart feels as sad as the look on his face, so you add, âBut you can come by my house later tonight and we can talk? Uh, howâs 8 sound?â
Steveâs face brightens. He gives you that smile that always makes your stomach do a backflip.
âIâd like that,â he says.
You smile back and open your car door. Before stepping in, you turn to him and say, âDo not bring Rochelle.â
âCross my whatever and hope to who-gives-a-shit!â Steve says as he walks backward away from your car. You give him a small wave, which he returns, before getting in the car and driving off.
As you suspected, the drive home is much, much too anxiety-inducing. Thunder seems to shake the whole frame of the car as you drive across town. Rain falls in pails, as if angels are taking buckets and throwing them on your car specifically. Your windshield wipers can barely keep up, and cars are honking and passing you since your fear is causing you to drive about ten under the speed limit.
You try not to let that bother you as your hands grip the wheel for dear life, the muscles from your fingers up to your shoulders impossibly tense. Thereâs a reason your mom drove you everywhere last summer and fall. Getting back into the habit of operating a motor vehicle isnât easy, and everything seems to scare you now.
Despite everything, the drive is going fineâuntil one of the cars passing you cuts a little too close as they swerve back into the right lane. They almost clip your front bumper, which causes you to panic and swerve off the road near the now defunct trailer park.
Your tires squeak on the wet grass and you slam on your breaks, heart pounding. Shuddery breaths draw in, out. In, out. You try and collect yourself and turn your left turn signal on to merge back onto the main road. However, something gray out of the corner of your eye causes you to whip your head in the direction of the trailer park.
This is where you died and were resurrectedâwell, the version of this in the Upside Down. In Hawkins, the area is cordoned off. No one can live there anymore, thanks to the big cracks in the earth. Once gates, they were now sealed, but they upended some trailers and tore others in two.
You see a flash of movement between two broken trailers. The gates are supposed to be closed, and there arenât supposed to be Upside Down creatures in Hawkins anymore, but you canât help but wonder alternatives. You feel compelled to check it out.Â
You turn off your carâs ignition, grab the flashlight from your glove box, and clamor out, ducking under the âCAUTIONâ tape and jogging into the park. You squint in the rain, the beam of your flashlight scanning the surrounding area. You step over uneven earth, wondering if youâre wasting your time and should justâ
âGRRRRRROWWWLLLL!!!!!â
You whip around and gasp. The gray creature you saw wasnât a demo-creature, but a mangy, stray dog with muddy fur. It snaps its jaws and you see three little puppies cowering under a bush behind it.
An overprotective mama dog wouldnât have scared you two years ago. You wouldâve known exactly how to handle the situation without freaking out. But now, your fear spikes and you remember the few run-ins with hungry demodogs you had in the Upside Down. The dog is blocking your way back to your car, so you turn on your heel and run in the opposite direction, toward the imposing forest.
You canât think clearly. Your mind is on fire. All you can think is Danger! Danger! Danger! And itâs keeping you from making any rational decisions.
You swear you hear the dog chasing behind you, snarling and ready to attack. You zig-zag between trees and glance behind to see if you really are being chased.
You lose your footing on slick mud, left ankle twisting painfully as you fall to the ground. Your flashlight skitters out of your grasp and rolls away, blinking out.
Now, youâre stuck in the rain, in the dark, with an injured ankle and no flashlight. Thankfully, the dog wasnât following. But you feel powerless, hoping you can muster any survival instincts from your time in the Upside Down to make your way back to safety.
đ«đ«đ«
At 7:58 p.m., Steve parks outside your house.
Heâs more nervous than he needs to be. He tries to remember that this isnât a visit to win you back, as much as he wishes it was. No, heâs respecting your decision. But heâs glad he has the chance to just talk to you.
After you dumped him, he spent way too much time overanalyzing that fight you two had in October. It solidified the fact that he was an ass, completely misunderstanding you and getting mad for no good fucking reason.
Admittedly, he was tempted to throw away all his progress and drink away his misery. But he didnât, channeling that energy toward more productive things. His mind is clearer than it was, and heâs going to make it right this time. Steve wants to check on you, the way his friends checked on him while he was having a tough time. Their support was invaluable.
Steve rings your doorbell, shaking out his umbrella.
The front door swings open. Your father looks expectant, before he frowns.
âSteve, hello,â your father says. âIs Y/N with you?â
Steveâs brow furrows. âUh, no,â he says. âIâm supposed to meet her here.â
Your father curses and puts his head in his hands.
âIs it her?â your mother says, rushing around the corner with the cordless phone tucked under her shoulder. When she sees Steve, her shoulders slump. She speaks into the phone, âHopper, sheâs still not back.â
âWhatâs going on?â Steve asks, heart sinking. âY/Nâs missing?â
âShe never came back from Robinâs party,â your father says, stepping aside to let Steve in. âYou saw her leave, right?â
âYeah,â Steve says with a nod. His mouth feels very, very dry.
Your mother continues murmuring on the phone with Hopper, and your father continues grilling Steve: âHow was she? Did she seem upset?â
âA little nervous, maybe,â Steve says. He swallows hard. âI, uh, I think she was freaked out by the storm.â
You shouldâve driven her home, Steve thinks. You idiot. If something happens to her, itâll be your fault.
âSheâs been so quiet lately,â your father says, voice strained. He clears his throat. âAnd so jumpy. But she said she wanted to start driving again. We thought she was getting betterâŠâ
Your father looks like heâs beside himself. Steve is unsure what to say to make things right.
Your mother hangs up the phone and sighs. âHopperâs going to go look for her,â she says. She chokes out a sob. âOh, RogerâŠsheâs been so down lately. What if sheâŠâ
âLetâs not speculate,â your father says firmly, though he looks anxious about the possibilities.
Your parents decide to drive around looking for you, and Steve joins the search in his own car as well. He canât sit idly by knowing youâre out there, possibly in distress, possibly in danger.
đ«đ«đ«
While youâre sitting against a tree trunk trying to shield yourself from the rain, thereâs a morbid part of you thatâs okay with this.
You wanted something bad to happen. You wanted to be in some kind of distress, because you being hurt means people have to care about you. Right? They have to really, truly see that youâve been struggling but havenât been able to ask for proper help.
You snap yourself out of that thought process, trying to remind yourself that people do care about you. But itâs hard to feel that way when youâve put so much distance between yourself and the people you love.
You arenât sure how long you sit in the rain having a pity party, watching your swollen ankle get bigger and bigger. You need to ice it and elevate it. And anytime longer in this rain, youâll catch a cold.
So, you crawl on your hands and knees and find as sturdy a branch as you can on the forest floor. You use it as a pseudo walking stick to help you hobble back toward the trailer park. You know the way, thanks to your time traversing the forest daily in the Upside Down.
As you get closer to the break in the trees, you hear people calling for you. You shuffle there faster.
âIâm here!â you yell, stumbling through the tree line. âIâm here!â
Itâs Chief Powell and Hopper, and they look relieved to see you. Officer Callahan and an animal control worker are trying to coax the mama dog and her three pups into crates.
âWhat happened, kid?â Hopper asks, sitting with you in the backseat of Powellâs truck while the other man radios for an ambulance and a tow truck for your car. The usual gruff timbre to Hopper's voice has a softened edge to it today, like he can sense your emotional fragility.
âSome jerk pushed me off the road. And I thought I sawâŠIâlisten, the mud made the dogâs fur look gray, and I thought it wasââ
âOne of these hellhounds?â
You nod.
âIâm not sure if you realize this,â Hopper says. âBut itâs been two years to the day since youâŠyou know.â
You swallow hard.
âI didnât remember,â you admit. âI mean, I knew the anniversary was coming up soon, I justâŠâ
âWe were all worried youâŠdid something,â Hopper continues cautiously.
âI wouldnât,â you say, much too quickly. âI mean, I feel like shit a lot of the time, butâŠno. I wouldnât.â
Hopper nods, eyeing you. He doesnât quite look convinced.
When the ambulance arrives, he rides with you to the hospital. Then, your parents meet you at the ER, while a doctor looks over your ankle.
Itâs sprained, but not broken, thankfully. They send you home with a brace, some crutches, painkillers, and instructions to elevate and ice.
The whole drive home, your parents give you a speech about how much they love you and how they want to know how youâre doing, and that if you ever feel low, to talk to them because they can help. Normally, that kind of thing would annoy you, but after todayâthe fear of seeing what you thought was a demodog, of being back in the wilderness by yourself, even just for a few hoursâyou appreciate the gesture.
It's after midnight when you get home, and the rain has finally let up. Your dad helps you up the porch stairs, leaning the side with your bad leg against him the whole way. You almost donât notice the note tacked to the front door until your mom points it out.
It has your name on it. You open it. Parts of it have been scratched out, but you can still read it all.
Hey, Y/N. I was driving around looking for you when Hopper found me. Iâm so glad to hear that youâre going to be okay.
Iâll swing by tomorrow to chat, if youâre still up for it. If not, no worries. I know itâs a tough time. I just want you to know that I miss you I care about you more than you know Iâm here.
-Steve
đ«đ«đ«
When Steve comes by the next day, heâs not alone.
Youâre surprised to see him and Max Mayfield standing on your porch.
âUh, hello!â you say. âHow are you, Max?â
âPretty good,â she says, ânow that Steve is taking us for ice cream.â
You raise your eyebrows and adjust your stance on your crutches.
âOh!â you say. You look to Steve. Heâs smiling, but it doesnât reach his eyes. Everything about his posture is tense, nervous. You wonder if this is an intervention or somethingâif youâll arrive at the ice cream shop and be bombarded by the rest of your friends and a licensed professional promising a âsafe space.â
You tell your parents where youâre going, promising a million times that youâll be careful, and hobble down the porch steps to Steveâs waiting car. Heâs a gentleman, one hand hovering behind your back and ready to catch you if you fall.
Max lets you have the passenger seat, likely due to your injury. On the ride over, you consider (politely) asking what sheâs doing there, as you expected this conversation would be about the nature of your and Steveâs relationship.
A part of you deep, deep down had hoped he would beg you to take him back. A part of you deeper down felt selfish for that, but it was what you wanted.
You made a huge mistake letting him go.
Steve ends up taking you both to Sonic, pulling into one of the parking spots and pressing the âOrderâ button. Max leans up from the backseat, sticking her head between the two front seats, and rattles off a complicated order of hot dogs, fries, slushies, and ice cream into the speaker.
âI thought this was just ice cream,â you say with an eyebrow raised.
Max smirks.
âMoneybags Harrington is paying,â she says, patting him on the shoulder.
âI resent that,â Steve grouses. But thereâs a sparkle in his eye.
When the food comes, Steve divvies it up amongst the three of you. However, he quickly comes up with a shoddy excuse to step out of the carâsomething about the fries being a medium instead of a large.
Max climbs over the center console to settle in the driverâs seat.
You arenât sure what to expect when youâre alone with Max, but itâs definitely not, âDying and coming back really sucks, doesnât it?â
Your burger immediately tastes like sandpaper. âOh, letâs not talk about that,â you say. âLetâs talk about fun things. Have you learned any new skate tricks recently?â
âDonât deflect,â Max says, waving a french fry at you for emphasis. âSteve said you were having a hard time because no one could relate to you, and Iâm probably the only person in the world who can.â
Sheâs not wrong. After your return to the right side of the universe, you learned that Max woke up from her coma, completely healed, after you killed Vecna and the gates closed. You hadnât thought about how the two of you had similar, paralleled experiences.
âIt does suck,â you say quietly, swirling your spoon around in your ice cream cup. âAnd I kind of feel like Iâm losing my mind.â
âFor me, it was a lot of anger,â Max says. She fidgets with her own food as she continues. âI couldnât understand peopleâs priorities anymore. Like, what do you mean youâre worried about a chem test, Dustin? A few months ago, the world almost ended!â
âI totally get that,â you say, and your heart already feels lighter. âAnd my parents donât understand what really happened, so they just donât get me at all. Why I get so scared, so angry. So jumpy. It makes me feel like Iâm a freak in their eyes.â
âI feel like my mom doesnât even see me anymore,â Max says. She clears her throat and you catch a glimpse of tears gathering on her lash line before she roughly wipes them away. âLike to her, Iâm a ghost.â
âIâm sure thatâs not true,â you say. She scoffs.
âAnd thereâs another annoying thing,â Max says. âThe empty platitudes to make us feel better. That shit doesnât fix anything!â
Youâre not offended by her outburst, because you honestly agree. The two of you lament a bit longer, and by the end of the conversation, youâre feeling on top of the world. Sure, nothing is really fixed. But you finally realize that you have a kindred spirit in all this.
You and Max make a plan to do things together more often. Youâre seeing her as a de facto little sister already, and youâre hopeful that your planned meetings will be just as beneficial for her as they are for you.
Steve comes back after what seems like a millennium, shooing Max back to the backseat.
âTook you long enough!â she says.
He just smiles.
đ«đ«đ«
JUNE 1988
Itâs the first day of summer.
And itâs been a year to the day since you returned.
You expect to feel more anxious than you do. Instead, you feel peaceful.
Youâre doing a lot better, genuinely. You found a new therapist (sorry, Elaine) and since itâs someone who worked with Dr. Owens, youâre able to spill all the gory details of your past and your trauma. Healing isnât easy, but you feel yourself slowly sewing yourself back together again.
You and Max stick to your word and take weekly trips to Sonic. You talk about the heavy stuff, but also the normal life stuff. You sometimes have guests. This past week, Lucas and Mike tagged along, arguing the whole time about what should happen in the Ghostbusters sequel thatâs supposed to release next year.
You and SteveâŠah, whatâs there to say. You want him back, but you imploded the relationship and it feels selfish to waltz up to him and say, âHey, hot stuff. Wanna get back together?â
However, youâve officially enrolled for the fall semester at U of I. While heâs home from Hawkins for summer break, under the guise of asking for tips about campus life, you spend a lot of time with him.
You also spend time in the library, doing some studying to catch up before you start your classes in the fall. Your high school graduation was a lifetime ago. Literally.
Steve, Robin, and Jonathan join you for those summertime study sessions, although Jonathan and Robin usually bicker over the music theory books and Steve doesnât get much done except for doodling in his notebook. But sometimes you catch him staring at you, and then his cheeks flush pink in that adorable way that makes you want to do something stupid, like beg him to take you back.
If only you knew if he really felt the sameâŠ
âŠwhich you find out he does, during the summer solstice.
Youâre at the county fair with your friends, but theyâve all run off to watch the fireworks, so itâs just you and Steve at a picnic table downing sodas and cotton candy.
Your fingers wrap around the cool glass of a now-empty Coke bottle, and you place it on the tabletop. You attempt to look nonchalant as you spin it slowly.
Once itâs picked up momentum, you let it go, watching it spin a few more times before stopping it with your hand when the bottle neck points at Steve.
âItâs you,â you whisper, attempting to recreate that magical first kiss moment from years and years ago. You clear your throat at Steveâs dumbfounded expression. âAh, sorry. You donât have to kiss me. I was justâŠâ
To your pleasant surprise, Steveâs face splits into a grin. âWell, gee, Y/N,â he says. âIf you wanted to kiss me that bad, you couldâve just said so.â
A million canaries titter a love song in your heart as he leans forward.
The two of you kiss, for the first time in a long time.
The great divide in your soul is starting to seal. And everything feels right.
THE END
đ«đ«đ«
a/n please lmk what you thought đ©”
tags; @aloneinthehellfire @starry-eyed-steve @hollandweather @wisdomssdaughterr @huffledor-able541 @springautumn
@sunshinesteviee @curiositydooropened @crappymixtape
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https://at.tumblr.com/fallingdownhell/sumeru-men-when-your-sisterbest-friend-tries-to/nwf4h3unm1ah
Could I request this âŹïž but with Ayato, Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Zhongli? Also, reader actually steps up and nearly goes apeshit with the "friend".
No angst, please!
Alright, alright, I heard you loud and clear. I'm trying my best for readers part, but I can't promise anything.
Also, this escalated quite a bit... hope none of you mind the length of this thing. I just don't know how to keep things short and simple
Characters included: Ayato, Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Zhongli
Content: Gender neutral reader; she/her pronouns for your best friend; she tries to convince them to dump reader; some cursing; slightly suggestive on Ayato's part; not proof read yet!
Word count: 7.9k words
As always, thank you for requesting and hope you enjoy!
Ayato
I feel like Ayato is a man who would get into a relationship for one of two reasons
Number one would be it being a political type of thing, where the relationship and potential marriage would greatly benefit the Yashiro commission
Or he would not even consider the commission and just date you purely because he fell instantly in love with you and really just wants to court you
but regardless of what the reason might be, he would be loyal to you under any circumstances
he knows that there are many people out there who want to be on his good side, some of them even after his wealth and status
and yet, he would fight off anyone who would dare court him while being in a relationship with you
in that aspect, he learned a great deal from Thoma, so you better be grateful to him
It was a typical slow, mentally draining day for Ayato as the Yashiro commissioner yet again. Many people come to him with their problems, expecting him to magically have the solutions for them at the ready. It's not like he is some kind of know-it-all magician, capable of solving every little issue in this world. Yet people obviously believe him to be exactly that.
Honestly, it's exhausting most of the time. It was quite common for him to work late into the night, like it happened today again. When he finally leaned back a bit to stretch his sore back, he heard a soft knock on his office door. Knowing who would await him at the other side, he mumbled a soft "come in".
You slid the door open, revealing the form of your boyfriend to you. Instantly noticing his tired expression, you went to his side, gently holding his face in your hands.
"You have been working too much", you say after a long while of each of you staring into the others eyes.
You hear a low chuckle from him as he closes his eyes, and leans more into your touch. Having yearned for it the entire day and now finally being able to enjoy it again was one of the best feelings in the world to Ayato.
"You're right, my dear. As you are so often. How about we retreat for today?"
You were inclined to accept his offer, but just as you were about to do so, you remembered one other crucial detail.
"We can, after you eat something. You haven't done that today, have you?"
And as if to betray him, his stomach made a low rumbling sound just as Ayato was about to tell you a little white lie, that it wasn't so bad. Instead, he looked away from you as you giggled at the perfect timing.
"See? Now, you clean up here while I go and get you some light snack. Let's meet in our room, okay?"
He agrees and you gave him a quick kiss to the tip of his nose as a parting gift, before you made your way out of the room, silently, as to not disturb the other servants and residents from their slumber.
Ayato looks after you and as you're out the door, begins to make quick work of his tasks. It's not much to do anyways. Just pack away his writing utensils, stack and organize a few stray documents that he will worry about the next day.
While in the middle of doing this, he heard a soft knock on the door again. Ayato wonderd to himself why you would need to knock when you agreed to meet back at your room. And also, you two should be the only ones awake at this hour anyways.
Still, he answeres the knock with a simple "Yes?". Instead of an answer, the door to his office slid open again, but this time revealing a different figure to him.
He recognized her, a servant of the Yashiro Commission and also a dear friend to you. Though, he did wonder why she was awake at this hour as well.
"Do you need something?", he asked her as she just stood there, not saying a word.
"I... saw that the light was still on and just wanted to check on you, Lord Kamisato. It's getting quite late. Are you alright?"
"I see. I appreciate your concern, but I am quite alright. I'll be retiring for the night shortly."
After he said that, her eyes seemed to light up, but she quickly tried to hide it.
"O-oh, is that so?", she quielty mumbled as she took a few steps into the room, towards Ayato. He eyed her suspiciously, but refrained from saying or doing anything. She stopped in her tracks when she was standing only a few inches away from him.
"Do you want me to keep you company for the night?", she whispered, trying to sound seductive while she put one of her hands on Ayato's chest and looked up at him through her lashes.
In response to that, Ayato quickly snatched her wrist, holding her in a tight grip. Although, she seemed to interpret that gesture the wrong way, as a smile krept up her lips.
"Oh? That eager, Lord Kamisato?"
"You do know that I have a spouse, right?", he said firmly, still holding her wrist tightly.
"Oh please. As if someone as boring as (name) could ever please a man like you. You can admit it, you know. I can see that they are not enough for you. You can have so much more fun with me.", she purred at him, now putting her other hand on his chest.
It made Ayato want to throw up. Every fiber of his body was repulsed by this woman, her words and her actions. He just wanted to deal with this situation as quickly as possible, to get away from her and return to the comfort of your arms. He didn't care if he came across as rude, he did not care for her feelings. After all, she did just insult you in front of him, and he would not stand for that.
So, Ayato finally let go of her hand and took a step back to gain some distance between them. However, that didn't seem to appease her, as she was quick to follow him, that wicked smile still present on her lips. In that case, he had to resort to words as his weapon of choice against this woman.
"Stop this nonsense right now. I have no idea where you got the impression that I am the slightest bit interested in you, but that assumption is just wrong. Plus, I am not the type of man to just go behind my partners back like that."
"Aww, come on. Don't be such a killjoy. Plus, they don't have to know. I won't say anything if you don't~"
"Well, I already know. How about that?", you suddenly chime in, both Ayato and the woman jumping a bit at the sudden sound of your voice behind them. You were leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of you and a dark expression on your face, directed at the person you thought to be a friend of yours.
"I was wondering what took you so long, dear. If I had known you were trying to fend off some filthy pest, I would have come to your rescue sooner.", you continued as neither of them said anything at your entrance. Your words and expression briefly becoming warmer as they were directed towards your lover, but quickly turning dark again when you turned back to the woman in front of you.
You waited a few more seconds, waiting for her to come up with some kind of excuse or something, but nothing came. So, you sighed, pushing yourself off the doorframe and slowly approaching the two of them.
"Glad that I finally got to see your true character. I always thought something was off about you, but still, I never would have taken you for one of those people." Your tone was low and dark, as you came to a halt in front of her.
"Now, you better screw off before I loose the last bit of my temper. And you better never approach any of us again, you hear me, bitch?"
You spat the last few words at her and she quickly ran out of the room, leaving you and Ayato behind. You looked after her for a few more seconds, before a deep sigh finally left your lungs and you turned around to your boyfriend, who was looking at you with a smirk on his lips.
"What?"
"Oh nothing... But, I have to admit, you're cute when you're jealous, (name)."
"Pffft, please. Me? Jealous? Of her? When I'm the one already dating you and having you all to myself?", you laughed, slowly beginning to relax again.
And Ayato still smirked as he began to lean down towards you. "True, I do belong to you. But maybe, it's time you lay claim on me again for everyone else to see as well.", he mumbled before he pulled you into a passionate kiss, a promise for the night in front of you..
Kaeya
Kaeya is a flirt, you and everyone else is very much aware of that fact
though when in a relationship, he would tone down that side of his personality. It's not completely gone, but compared to before it's like you're looking at an entirely different person
but you don't dislike this teasing and flirty side of him. It's part of his charm after all. So long as it's always directed at you and no one else..
Most people would believe Kaeya is more the type to play around than to actually bind himself to another. They also don't believe him to be a loyal person
Well, those people couldn't be farther from the truth. Because of his past, Kaeya is afraid of letting people close to him again. So if you were to manage to do just that and gain his trust.. you best believe that he will never let you go again, no matter what might be thrown his way
The music that was playing in the background of the tavern was as loud as usual. Kaeya was used to it at this point, the comfort of the Angel's Share being as trusted of a companion as the sword by his side.
It was a routine by now that he would swing by the tavern after his duties as a knight had been dealt with for the day. Usually, he would sit at the counter with either Venti or Rosaria to keep him company, sometimes even both at the same time. Those instances were always sure to escalate, so he was kinda glad it didn't happen too often.
Today however, neither of his usual companions were available, so he was doomed to sit at the counter all by himself. But that was quite alright, since he didn't plan on drinking that much anyways. After all, he was merely here to pass time waiting on you to finish your work, so he could take you on the date he promised to take you on today after you both were free.
But since he was done much sooner than you were, he had some time to kill, and the tavern was the first thing that came to his mind. So, he went to your place of work, to let you know that he would meet you there once you were done.
As Kaeya downed his second drink of the evening, he pointed for Charles, the barkeeper, to get him another one, while listening to the music some bard was playing. He was standing next to the entrance and Kaeya had to admit, that his music was rather good. It was a cheery, easygoing melody that went well with the laughter all across the tavern.
It seemed to be one of the bussier nights for the staff of the Angel's Share, seeing as the tavern was packed full of people, some of them already quite intoxicated even though it was still a fairly early evening.
Still, the loud atmosphere was relaxing to Kaeya and he only stopped looking around himself when his next drink was handed to him. Thanking Charles with a nod, Kaeya grabbed the mug and downed a few more sips, when he suddenly got a well-known feeling..
The feeling of being watched.
He tried scanning around the interior of the tavern again without looking conspicuous, but couldn't detect anyone who seemed to be watchful of him.
When the feeling subsided again, Kaeya also began to relax again. He hadn't realized how on edge he became just from that, so he let out a deep exhale. It did make him feel a bit better, but only for a few seconds, before he felt a presence now occupying the free stool next to him.
He turned his head towards that person, cautious of he he might find, when he recognized the figure to be your best friend.
Now, normally, any other person would relax upon seeing a familiar face, but not Kaeya. Not in this situation.
He always had a suspicion, that she was into him. She never made any advances towards him, but that could have been because you were always there with him. Kaeya had never been alone with her until now. And with the way she was eyeing him up and down while smirking at him, he was inclined to think that his suspicion was, indeed, correct.
"Well, would you look at that. What's the cavalry captain of the knights doing here, in this tavern, all by himself?", she began to speak. It was easy for Kaeya to detect the slight slur in her voice, indicating that she already had quite a few drinks already.
Still, he decided to play nice with her and entertain the both of them for the time being. Maybe some company wouldn't be so bad and he did still harber some hope that his assumption could be wrong after all.
"Enjoying a drink, obviously. What else would one be doing at a tavern?", he answered, the usual polite smile returning to his face. To everyone else, it might come across as sincere, but you now know that there was a difference. For a real, sincere smile coming from Kaeya was quite a rarity. But, the woman across him didn't know that, so she happily induldged in the conversation.
"Obviously, I know that. But, why all alone? I never see you without a certain someone accompanying you." Her words carried a distinct amount of poison in them when mentioning you. It didn't sit right with Kaeya at all.
"Oh, I'm actually waiting on them to finish their work. I promised them a date so that't where I'm taking them."
At the mention, her smile dropped and the look on her face changed to an annoyed one. "Seriously? God, Kaeya! When are you finally gonna dump her?!", she snapped at him, standing up from her stool so she could stand in front of him, mere inches away from him.
"Excuse me?", was all Kaeya was able to say, trying to lean back as much as possible to create space between them, but she didn't care for that. Instead, she got even closer, dangerously so, and Kaeya was beyond uncomfortable with the situation.
"You heard me. I wanted you since I first laid my eyes on you, but you never acknowledged me. And as soon as (name) comes along, you're all over them and completely ignore me!
I hate them so much! When are you finally gonna realize that I would be so much better for you? Just dump their lazy ass, they're never gonna be something big anyway. Come to my side, Kaeya!" As she said all that, she simultaneously began to claw on his clothes. Kaeya tried to push her away, but it seems that people were right when they said that drunk people seem to gain some kind of unexplainable strength.
"Are you out of your mind? NO! Now get off of me!", he yelled instead, still trying to get himself free. But she ignored it, instead reaching behind his neck and pushing his head down, trying to force a kiss onto him.
"AHH!", she yelled not even a second later, both in surprise and pain as her head got pulled back by her hair suddenly. She managed to pull herself free and both her and Kaeya were surprised to see you standing there, now putting yourself between the woman and your boyfriend. A furious look on your face, you seemed like you were about to loose your temper.
"He already said no, you bitch. You're really going so far as to assault someone because you don't get it your way? That's a new low, even for you." Your voice was ice cold and Kaeya shivered a bit from it, but he also had to admit that he did like this protective side of you. It was something he didn't get to see very often.
"I was just trying to safe him from your pityful grasp. He deserves someone better!"
"You mean, someone better like you? Come on, don't make me laugh. Who in their right mind would want a dirty street rat like you?", you lauged at her as she looked at you with shock. "Now fuck off before I completely loose myself."
That last sentence from you came out completely serious and cold, both her and Kaeya knew that you would not hesitate another second to fight her off if you had to. With one last, longing look at the man behind you, she grabbed her stuff and ran out the tavern door, leaving the two of you behind.
You let out a loud sigh as she was finally gone, turning around to Kaeya. "Are you okay?", you asked him, worry now written all over your face.
He smirked a bit, slipping out of his stool so he now stood in front of you, leaning down so he could put a hand to your cheek. "I am.", he whispered, leaning down to plant a soft kiss to your forehead. "Thanks for fending her off. That was really sexy."
You rolled your eyes at that, but didn't say anything against it. Instead, you pulled Kaeya in for a soft, sweet kiss. Both of you smiled before you finally made your way out of the tavern and to where Kaeya promised to take you.
Diluc
Oh boy.. I really love Diluc, but let's be honest here.. he has a lot of issues, that would directly pass over to the relationship, if he ever were to enter one
abandonment issues, trust issues, self worth.. Diluc has a lot of struggles
he makes sure to let you know beforehand, so you can back out of it if it's too much for you to handle. He won't go into any details, but he gets his point across
Now, if you decide to stay with him and help him work through all this, he would be head over heels in love with you. For someone to know everything about him, including his bad sides, and still deciding to stay with him?
He honestly never thought this would happen to him. Which is why he's all the more glad that you stayed and proved him wrong
It was the late afternoon and Diluc was still in the process of getting himself ready and presentable.
Today was the day of your one year anniversary and he had promised to take you on a cute little stargazing picnic. He had been looking forward to this day the entire week, trying to finish as much of his work as early as possible, so that nothing would come in the way today.
He checked his outfit over one more time in the mirror, looking for any holes or other form of dirt, but couldn't find anything. Then, he moved on to his hair, trying to tie it into a high ponytail. He knew that you loved it when he wore his hair like that, and he didn't mind it either way, so why not.
After all, Diluc wanted to spoil you today. Although technically this day is for the both of you, he just couldn't help but want to make it all about you. Because, after all, you were the one who chose to stay with him. To love him and show him that it was okay for him to love you as well.
It took some time, and he is still nowhere near a perfect partner for you, but he is trying. And you always tell him that him trying is more than enough for you and that you couldn't and would never ask anything more than that from him.
Diluc was so glad that you stumbled your way into his life. It may sound cliché, but he truly has no idea where he would be in life if you weren't there by his side to help guide him in the right direction.
Dare he even say, it was also thanks to you and your effort, that he is now slowly starting to reconcile with Kaeya. Their relationship was still rocky after years and years of miscommunication and suppressed feelings, but it was slowly starting to pick up and move into a... better direction, for lack of a better word.
He had so much to thank you for, and he swore to pay you back for it every day of his life that he got to spend with you. You would forever be the best thing to happen in his life, and he didn't care how down bad that sounded.
As he was finally done with preparations, and giving himself one last glance through the mirror, a soft knock on the door brought him out of his head and back into reality. Confusion written over his face even more, as Adelinde opened the door and walked a few steps into the room.
"My apologies, Master Diluc, but it would seem that you have a visitor. I informed her of the bad timing and to come back another time, but she insisted. I directed her towards your study room, she is waiting for you in there.", she informed him, her head lightly bowed down.
"Thank you, Adelinde. I will deal with them shortly.", Diluc answered, though obviously annoyed at the situation.
Why today? And why now?
All he wanted was for you and him to spend a nice evening together. And now someone wasn't even going to allow him that? Not if he had a say in it. He would just go in there and deal with the visitor swiftly, then make his way to Mondstadt, where he promised to pick you up.
Once he made sure that he was presentable so he wouldn't have to return to his room again, he went out and closed the door behind him. He walked quickly, having a goal already in his mind, so he wanted this situation to be over as soon as possible.
He gave to quick knocks to the door of his study room, to inform the person inside of his arrival, before opening the door and stepping inside.
Upon his entry, a woman who until now had been sitting in one of the comfortable armchairs stood up, facing his way. It took Diluc a moment, but he soon recognized the figure as a close friend of yours. He saw her from time to time, but he never had much to do with her, they never had an extended talk or conversation, so Diluc had no idea why she was here now and what she could want from him.
"You came..", she said, like she couldn't actually believe it.
"It would be quite rude of me to just leave a guest and not greet them, wouldn't it? So, please, state your business with me. And, not to sound rude, but please make it quick. I have somewhere important to be in a bit."
"That's why I'm here..", she mumbled quietly.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!", she exclaimed, a little startled. Trying to mask her nervousness with a chuckle, she began to play with her hair while looking everywhere else but at the man standing in front of her.
A good minute passed without her saying anything else and Diluc was growing more and more annoyed with her. Was she just here to waste his time?
"Look, if you have nothing to discuss with me, then-!"
"No! I- I mean, I do have something to discuss. I just.. don't know where to start..", she got quiet near the end again, making it hard for Diluc to understand her, but he did.
"If this will require more time, I have to ask you to move it to another day. I really don't have the time right now.", Diluc simply replied, already kind of mad at her that he wasted more time here than he had to. He turned around and was about to leave, when the woman behind him spoke up again.
"I like you!", she yelled, which caused Diluc to halt in his steps and turn to look at her, a bewildered look on his face.
"What did you say?"
"I like you, Diluc. I have for a long time. But I never had the courage to tell you and then (name) got in the picture. Honestly, I hated them the moment you and them got together.
They took you from me! It should be me by your side, not them! I deserve you so much more than some pesky lowlife like them!", she still yelled, but was now slowly moving towards Diluc.
The man, still surprised by what was happening right now, didn't move away, and she apparently took that as a sign to continue on her little rant.
"I know you think that you love them, but trust me, you don't. You may feel like that now, but I am the one meant for you. I can make you so much happier than you could ever think. Just give me a chance, Diluc.", she pleaded as she arrived in front of him.
She extended an arm, about to lay her hand on his shoulder, when he suddenly caught her wrist mid air. His grip was tight, and the look he threw at her full of disgust. She flinched a bit as she saw that, but still tried to stand her ground.
"Listen closely", Diluc said, his tone hard and cold, as he looked into her eyes, unforgiving. "(Name) will forever be the only one for me. No one else could ever hope to come close to what they mean to me. Especially not you. The fact that you came here, to berate and talk bad about someone who thinks of you as their friend, trying to steal their lover away. And for what? Some silly illusion you created in your head?
My top priority will always be (name). No one will ever come inbetween me and them, no matter what you might say or come up with."
He quickly let go of her wrist now, like her skin was suddenly made out of some kind of acid and it burned him on the touch. The look of disgust still evident on Diluc's face, as he took a step back towards the door.
"Now, please excuse me but I have a date to go on with my lovely parnter. And just to be perfectly clear, I would advise you to stay away from them and me from now on. And if I were to catch wind of you putting out rumors about them, I will not hesitate to act against you."
With that being his parting words, Diluc left the study room and made his way down to the main hall, where Adelinde was waiting down by the stairs.
"Please escort our guest out of the mansion as soon as possible. And make sure to let the other staff know that she is not welcome back here anymore.", Diluc informed Adelinde, who bowed her head in understanding.
"As you wish, Master Diluc. I wish you a pleasant night.", she said, before making her way up the stairs.
After that, Diluc left the mansion and made his way back to the city of Mondstadt. He appreciated the walk, as he was able to clear his head a bit before he would see you again, which was just what he needed after that encounter.
Once he arrived and saw you waiting for him by the fountain, all the negative emotions within him washed away again, his heart feeling at peace.
He greeted you with a soft kiss, which you reciprocated. He took you with him to Windrise, where the two of you would have your picnic. On the way there, he told you all about what had happened just about a few hours prior to your reunion.
It was fair to say that you considered the friendship with her to be over and you thanked Diluc over and over again for defending you, while also apologizing to him that he had to deal with that in the first place. But not to worry, because you made it more than up with the cuddles he got from you afterwards.
Childe
Childe is a family person through and through
Like, they have the final say wether his relationship whit you would last or not. Not in the sense of approval, more like if you get along with his parents and siblings
If they like you and you also get along with them well, he would be over the moon
also has a pretty high rank thanks to his position as a fatui harbinger, so people know not to mess with either of you, unless they want to be punished
Childe, I think, is actually one of the most loyal Genshin boys
He would stop at absolutely nothing to ensure your safety and to make you feel loved. The only way he would allow this relationship to end, is if either one of you would be to fall out of love with the other. But, at least for his part, that probably won't ever happen
Since his return to Snezshnaya a few days ago, Childe has been stuck in his office at the fatui headquarters. It was required of him to finalize his reports on his latest missions, which meant for him to sit in his office the entire day, write paper after paper, then return home in the evening, only to resume the process the next day.
It has been tiring for him. He never would have thought that dealing with paperwork could be this tiring. No wonder the higher ranking harbingers all have some kind of sectretary who do that work for them.
In fact, Childe has been so tired out from writing these reports, that he didn't get any proper training in these days. Instead, he always returned right back home to your side, almost always falling on top of you on the couch. If it weren't for you keeping him somewhat coherent, he would instantly pass out on the couch, not to be woken up until the next morning. You gently kept him awake long enough for him to take a shower and eat dinner with you, before you both went to bed together, where Childe hugged you even closer to him.
It has become some kind of new routine at this point and although you didn't mind it all that much, you clearly saw how exhausted your boyfriend was from all this. Even more so since he wasn't able to pursue his usual stress relief with the training.
You could clearly see how tired he still was, sitting next to you eating his breakfast, his eyes looking almost blank and lifeless. It made your heart ache at the sight.
"So.. do you know how much longer it'll take until you've finished all the reports?", you cautiously asked, not wanting to stress him out even more in the early morning hours.
"At least a few more days..", Childe quietly answered, the weariness clearly evident.
You thought about what you could do to make him feel a little better, at least, when an idea sparked in your head.
"Well, I can't really help you with your work, but, if you want to, I could bring you lunch today. Your mom taught me how to make your favourite."
At that, his eyes visibly brightened up as he looked at you. "Really? When did that happen?"
"While you were out on your mission in Liyue. I had some time on my hand and I thought it would be a nice surprise but I didn't get around to making it yet.", you answered, glad that such a simple thing was able to cheer your boyfriend right back up.
He got up and engulfed you in a big hug, placing little kisses all over your face. "Thank you, (name). I love you so much."
You giggled as you guys spend the rest of your morning together before it was time for Childe to leave again.
...
His mood this day was by far better than the days before, and his underlings had no idea wether that was a good thing or if their impending doom was approaching them.
But as more hours went by and nothing drastic had happened yet, they decided that it had to be something good.
Childe was constantly humming in his office, the writing part was getting much easier now that he got a hang of it. The occaissonal troop came into his office every now and then, awaiting for new orders from him.
He dealt with them every time before resuming his reports until one particular group came to him. He knew one of the members better than the others, namely because it just so happened that she was a friend of yours, who joined the ranks of the fatui a few weeks ago.
She got assigned under Childe, but they haven't really been working together yet, as shortly after he was sent out to his mission on Liyue, which took him a few weeks to finally complete. And since then, he had been locked up here.
Anyway, back to the present. The leader of that small group gave a quick report to Childe, informing him of their accomplishments. The harbinger only nodded, listening to them.
"Alright, sounds good. For now, I want you guys to go to the training grounds. Improve on your strenghts and get rid of your weaknesses. This will be your task for the following week. After that time, you will face me in battle again, to assess your progress.
That would be all.", he said to dismiss them. They all hurriedly made their way out of the room, except for one member of the group. The woman stood still in front of Childe, and it took him a moment to realize that she was still standing there.
"Hmm? Was there something else you needed?"
"Well.. I have a bit of a personal question, if you would allow it, Lord Harbinger.", she answered respectfully, bowing her head at him a bit.
Childe thought it over for a second, but didn't think anything bad of her request, so he allowed her to ask her question.
"Thank you. It's about (name)", she said and the mention of your name both set him on edge and also brought a small smile to his face. You just had that effect on him every time, even after months of dating already.
"What is it that you see in them? Why are you with them? I just don't understand it."
"What about it don't you understand?", Childe asked, bewildered as he sensed the obvious hostility she seemed to harbour when talking about you.
"I mean, they're just so boring and bland. I don't get what you see in them. Surely they can't be enough to satisfy you. You could have anyone else, you have so many better options. Why them?"
After her little rant was over, Childe stood up from his place behind his desk, walked around in front of it, and leaned against the table, crossing his arms in front of him.
"And let me guess.. you think you would be better suited for me than them, am I right?"
She nodded as she took a step forward, towards him, but one ice cold glare from Childe let her freeze in place. But she got her composure back quickly, returning his gaze.
"I do.", she stated, holding her chin up high, trying to look more confident than she currently felt.
Childe continued to look at her a few more seconds, before averting his eyes and sighing in disappointment.
"I think I've heard enough. Just so you know, you could never be enough for me. (Name) is more than enough, they are the perfect match for me. And I'm most definitely not about to give up on that for some random chick that decides to throw herself at me.
Anything you want to add, (name)?"
The last sentence was said a bit louder by Childe, knowing that you had been standing outside the door and listening in on the conversation. Upon mentioning you, you entered the room and by the surprised look on the womans face, she didn't realize that you were actually present.
"Not really, I think you already made yourself perfectly clear.", you said, your look at her as cold as Childe's was.
"We're over. Can't believe I ever was friends with someone like you.", was the only thing you felt like adding to the situation, before the woman ran out of the room without another word, feeling utterly humiliated.
You and Childe both looked after her, before looking at each other. Then you guys burst out into laughter at how ridiculous this entire situation was.
After you had calmed down again, you guys shared the food that you made for him in his office, you sitting on his lap since he wouldn't allow you to sit anywhere else. It was safe to say that Childe acted a bit more clingy with you for the next few days.
Zhongli
It has been quite some time since Zhongli's last relationship and even though he has an understanding of the principles, the more intimate details of it are kind of lost on him
have some patience with him and teach him the ropes of it again and you will be rewarded with one of the most loving and caring partners one could ever wish for
he also tends to be a little bit on the jealous side, but he means no harm in it. He knows you're more than capable of standing up for yourself, but he can't help it. He is your partner after all, it's only natural he wants to protect you
Also a very loyal man. If he chooses a partner, he stays with them through all the good and bad times until the bitter end. Whatever form that end will take..
Zhongli let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with his work for the day. Who knew that the work of a consultant could be this demanding?
Hu Tao had him staying late for the past two weeks, since, as she said, work had been piling up and she needed all the help she could get.
While you were understanding of the situation, not minding him coming home later to help out his boss, Zhongli did mind it very much.
Because now, work kept getting in the way of his quality time with you. While he was stuck here, he could be home with you, snuggling up on the couch, or out on a date with you.
Come to think of it, it had been quite some time since you two last went on one. Perhaps he should take you out to Wanwen Bookhouse again, with a nice dinner afterwards at Liuli Pavilion. That sounded like a good idea.
Still thinking about this, and possible other locations where he could take you to, he continued to tidy up his workplace, so that he could finally leave as soon as he was done with that.
Hu Tao had already left earlier today, claiming she would be gone for some type of commission and left him the keys to lock the place up after he was done for the day.
Once he was done cleaning up, he went outside and locked the door, putting the keys into his pocket to keep them safe. He would return them to Hu Tao again once his well deserved weekend would be over. Oh, how he longed to spend those blessed days enveloped in your arms, hoping you would never let go of him again.
Gazing up at the sky, he noticed that it was still quite early. He still did some overtime, but he did get off earlier today than the days prior. So, Zhongli decided on the spot to surprise you with some of your favourite food.
He went over to Wanmin Restaurant, which coincidentaly was also on the way to your shared house, to pick up something to eat for the both of you.
Upon approaching the vendor, Chef Mao immediatly recogniced the man.
"Ah, Mister Zhongli! Good evening! The usual?", he asked in a cheery tone, to which Zhongli agreed to.
While waiting for his food to be done, he took place on one of the stools outside the building, looking around the streets. It wasn't quite as busy as it was during the day, but there were still fairly many people out and about, doing their business.
"Hey! Zhongli!", a voice greeted behind him, so the man turned around to see a dear friend of yours approaching him and taking place next to him on an empty stool.
Zhongli gave her a gentle smile, not minding her presence at all. Maybe some company would be good for the time he had to keep waiting for the food to be done.
"Good evening. What brings you here on this fine day?", he asks her, trying to engage in some small talk with her.
"Oh, nothing much. I was just out for a walk when I saw you sitting here all alone.", she smiled, leaning a bit closer to him. Zhongli noticed this, but didn't think anything of it, which is also why he didn't say anything about it.
"Ah, yes. I am merely waiting for it to be done cooking, so that I can surprise (name) with it at home. I have been working late for the past two weeks so I hope she will accept this small piece of apology."
Upon mentioning your name, he noticed how her expression turned a bit sour, but it was gone so quickly the next second that he thought he just imagined it.
"Is that so..", she mused, seeming to be lost deep in thought.
After that, the conversation died out and a sort of uncomfortable silence fell between Zhongli and your friend. Not knowing what to best do in this kind of situation, he just remained silent, still patiently waiting.
A few more minutes passed and finally, Chef Mao came to Zhongli again, this time with two containers of food in his hands.
"Here you go. Sorry it took so long, busy day today."
"Not a problem.", Zhongli reassured him as he handed the man his money. He was about to say his goodbyes to your friend, when she suddenly grabbed him by the arm.
"Wait!", she said, suddenly having a form of urgency to her voice that made him halt.
"Yes? What is it?"
"I... I want you to break up with (name)!", she exclaimed, shocking Zhongli with her words. Why would he say such a thing.
The confusion obviously written all over his face, the woman sighed as she got even closer to him.
"I am in love with you, Zhongli. And I want to be with you. I don't care if I start out as just a side chick for you, so long as you break up with them and choose me in the long run.
Trust me, you'll see for yourself just how inferior (name) is to me in every aspect of life. Bet they aren't even any good in bed. I know you're not satisfied with them, so why not enjoy yourself with a little fun on the side?"
Zhongli couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew how much you trusted her, so for her to betray that trust you put in her so easily, it made his heart ache for you. But it also made him furious. How dare she talk about you like that in front of him? You were everything to him, and you were definitely more than enough.
Anger slowly krept its way up inside him, being more and more evident in the way his gaze turned cold and his hands tightly gripped the containers he was holding.
But before he could let his anger out on that woman, he heard an all too familiar voice call his name. "Zhongli!"
There you were standind, a few feet away from them and slowly walking over to your boyfriend.
"Hey (name)!", the woman cheerfully said, putting on a seemingly perfect act in front of you, being all nice and friendly again, like she wasn't just trying to steal Zhongli away from you.
"What a surprise to see you here. We were just talking about-!"
"About how you want to be the side piece of my boyfriend? Yeah, I heard that.", you said in a very matter-of-fact way, it caught her completely off guard.
"Huh?", was all she was able to get out, a look of bewilderment present on her face. You, however, have heard enough and you were done with her.
So, you only rolled your eyes at her, before lowering your voice, trying to sound as intimidating as you could. "Listen here, you bitch. He is taken. You had all the time and chances before I met him, and now, he is mine.
So back the fuck off before I go off on your fake ass face."
Panic now written all over her face, she took a few steps back. "You wouldn't.. You're crazy!"
"Oh, but I would.", you growled, taking a step forward, which finally caused her to turn around and run away from the two of you.
Relieved, you let out a sigh and turned around to your boyfriend, who had witnessed the entire scene.
"Sorry you had to deal with that.", you apologized sheepishly, gaze now turned to the ground.
"Don't apologize, my dear. After all, I should be the one apologizing to you, since you just lost a friend because of me. But, I do want to say, I hope you know that I would never choose someone else over you."
"I know that.", you nodded as you looked up at him, offering him a warm and loving smile. Ahh, how he had missed that smile the entire day. He just had to lean down and give you a soft kiss, which you very gladly reciprocated.
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THROUGH TIMEÂ
Loki x Female Reader.
Summary: The history of Loki and Y/N through the time since they were 8 years old.Â
Warnnings: Canon Divergence; Mean Odin; Friends to lovers; really small enemies to lovers; virgin!Loki, virgin!Reader, first kiss, loss of virginity, marriage, planned pregnancy.Â
Word count: 9.455
A/N: I really like to write this one. Loki deserves his happy ending. If I forgot any warnning, please let me know. English is not my first language. You can also find this work on AO3.
Y/N and Loki had been best friends for a couple of years now. They met when her mother, a close friend of Frigga, accepted the invitation to move to Asgard and live with them. Loki and Y/N were 5 at the time ant that was 3 years ago. Now theyâre 8 years old.Â
Y/N had a nightmare that night and woke up scared, so she decided to go to her best friendâs room, like she usually did when she was scared. She knocked on his door, gently. Loki was laying on his bed, sobbing on his pillow, but when he heard a knock on his door, he sat up and tried to stop crying. Y/N didnât wait for an answer, she knocked and enter his room and went straight to his bed with him. Loki looks over at her and wipes the last of his tears with the back of his hand âW-what do you want?âÂ
âWhat happened?â She asked worried seeing him cry, her nightmare long forgotten.Â
âDad hurt me...â Loki said quietly.Â
Her face showed pure shock â...what?âÂ
Loki nods, looking down âHe...he hit me.âÂ
Y/N hugged the little boy tightly âIâm so sorry, Loki.â He hugged her back, sobbing into her shoulders. âDo you want me to stay with you? Or maybe come to my room?âÂ
He looks at her, his face wet with the tears âI want to come to your room.âÂ
She held his hand as they got off his bed and walked to her room, Loki following her and still shaken. They went to her bed as soon as they entered Y/Nâs room and Loki curls up next to her. âIâll protect you.â She says to her friend.Â
Loki smiles and closes his eyes, slowly beginning to fall asleep feeling safe with her. Y/N seeing he was peacefully, finally closed her eyes and slept too, with no more nightmares in the night. After that night, they made a habit to sleep together sometimes, but no one really mind since they were only kids.Â
4 years later
Loki and Y/N were now 12 and they still sleeping close by with Y/N. They are laying on her bed, when she broke the silence. âHow was your day?â Loki mumbles something about Odin being mean to him, again. âYou should come train with me and Thor. Maybe that could help you relax." She smiles at him.Â
Loki just nods at her. He didnât like that much of the idea to train with Thor. Everyone thinks so highly of his brother. They talked for a few more minutes before they decided to sleep. Loki tried once to train with her and his brother, but he didn't like. So, he starts to spend more of his time in the library reading.Â
3 years later
 They're 15 years old now. Loki had gotten taller than Y/N, which was normal, his voice had changed, and he looked more like a man than a boy. Y/N's body was also changing and they're both filled with hormones. Loki got better with his magic and Y/N got better with the fight skills. They still sleep sometimes together, it was a habit by now. But the hormones were starting to act on them.Â
Loki was reading a book but couldnât stop thinking of Y/N. He had thought of her a lot recently and had even caught himself fantasizing of her a lot. He tried to keep his mind on the book, but it was hard when he had been thinking about her so much. Then a knock came on the door and interrupted his thoughts.Â
âLoki?â She called him.Â
He put down his book and got up then walked over to the door and opened it, looking at her âYeah?âÂ
âCan I come in?â She looked a little sad.Â
âUh, yeah.â he steps aside and opens the door wide enough for her to enter. Y/N follow straight to let her body fall on his bed with a groan. Loki walked and sat next to her with concern on his face âAre you okay?âÂ
âNo.âÂ
âWhy? Whatâs wrong?â Loki looked at her with genuine curiosity and concern.Â
"Sif and your brother keep making fun of me because I never kissed anyone." She rolls her eyes.Â
Loki thought about it for a minute before a smirk grew on his face âYou havenât kissed anyone at all?âÂ
"Oh, come on, not you too." Y/N says frustrated and looks away.Â
He chuckles and playfully nudged her shoulder âIâm not making fun of you, Iâm just surprised.âÂ
Y/N sighs, sitting and looking at him âHave you?âÂ
Loki turned slightly red âWell⊠no I havenât kissed anyoneâŠâ Y/N smiles sympathetic at him. Loki was still a little red âB-but have you really never kissed anyone?â He still couldnât believe it. In his mind Y/N had kissed loads of boys because she was so pretty. She just shakes her head at his question.Â
He thinks for a second and then speaks âSo let me get this right, you have never been kissed and Iâve never been kissed, right?âÂ
âYeah...â She nods.Â
Loki thinks for another second then looks back over at her âI have an ideaâŠâÂ
âWhat is it?â Y/N asks curious at him.Â
He takes a deep breath and then leans in towards Y/N âJust close your eyesâŠâ She looks at him for a few seconds and then do as he asks. Loki takes a deep breath and then leans in further, so his lips meet hers. It isnât a very long kiss and is quite short. When it is over Loki looks at her with a blush on his cheeks âSo what do you thinkâŠâÂ
She he opens her eyes and smiles, with a blushing on her cheeks too "That was...uh, nice."Â
Loki is still blushing hard and canât pull his gaze from her âYou really think soâŠ?âÂ
Y/N nods "Can we...do it again?"Â
He canât contain the blush on his face and his body is practically radiate heat. His eyes are still glued to her face âYeah definitelyâŠâ he leans back in for another kiss. She leans in too, kissing him. Lokiâs mind was racing with thoughts. He never thought this would happen, especially when the person heâs kissing is Y/N. It was incredible, better than anything he had imagined in his fantasies. He holds her waist, pulling her closer to him as he kissed her.Â
Loki moans softly into the kiss as the heat escalate, his body reacting to the heat between them. His hands move up her back, tangling in her hair as he deepens the kiss. He can feel himself growing hard against his pants and he breaks the kiss, gasping for air âWe should stop.âÂ
Y/N could feel herself getting wet with just kissing Loki, but she agreed âYeah, we should.âÂ
He nods, running his hand through his hair. He can feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He knows they need to stop before things go too far âDo you want to sleep here tonight...?âÂ
âSure.â She smiles while she tries to recover from that hot kiss.Â
Loki smiles back, laying down in the bed and patting the space next to him for her to lay down next to him. She does it and he pulls her close to him and hugs her tightly as he closes his eyes.Â
âLoki?â She called him in a whisper.Â
He opens his eyes and then looks at her âYeah?âÂ
"We're not gonna tell about this to anyone, right?"Â
Loki nods âYeah definitely. I mean, thereâs no reason for anyone to know about it. And I doubt youâd want just anyone to know about this.âÂ
"Yeah. Just two friends helping each other." She says smiling. Loki nods again and looks back down, closing his eyes. Y/N does the same and they soon fell asleep.Â
3 years later
Loki and Y/N were now 18. Lokiâs body had changed a lot since he was younger. He was more muscular than he was back then, and his face had matured to the point where he didnât look like a little boy, but a man. Y/N also changed in those years. She looked like a grown woman now and it she was becoming one of the best fighters on the realm.Â
Loki was laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, thinking about things that were not that important. He heard a knock at his door, and he sighed, getting up to answer it. He looked at Y/N standing there for a few seconds, her beauty striking him a little bit. âHey, youâre just back from training?âÂ
"Yeah. I beat Sif's ass all the time today." She laughs getting in his room, dropping her sword closer to his door.Â
He grins âDamn, thatâs pretty impressive. Iâm surprised she didnât tell you off or complain about you being better than her.âÂ
"How said she didn't?" Y/N laughs.Â
âAnd I assume you gave her a good comeback, like saying how youâre better than her?â Loki laughed too.Â
âSomething like that.â She says still laughing. âCan I use your shower? Mineâs not working.âÂ
Loki tilts his head in curiosity but then nods âSure, go ahead. Thereâs soap right next to the shower and a towel is on the floor next to it too.âÂ
"Thanks." She smiles and enters his bathroom. After a few minutes, Loki heard the shower being turned off. But then Y/N appears on the door with only a towel "Can I borrow one of your shirts? I forgot to bring my clothes."Â
Loki looks at her, his eyes trailing down her body. He could see the outline of her breasts through the towel and feel a familiar stirring in his pants. He nods, standing up and grabbing a shirt from his dresser âHere you go.âÂ
"Thanks." She smiles "Maybe one of your boxers too?" Â
Loki blinks caught off guard by her request. His heart races and his breathing hitches. He hesitates for a moment but then nods slowly, grabbing a pair of boxers from his drawer. He hands them to her with clumsy fingers. âHere.âÂ
"Thanks." She smiles and goes to the bathroom to get changed. She exits the clean clothes sheâs borrow. Loki stares at her as she walks back into the room. He can't help but notice how sexy she looks in just his shirt and boxers. His mind races with thoughts of all the things he could do to her, all the ways he could touch her. Y/N lays by his side on the bed.Â
Loki glances at her with a smirk âYou look cute in my shirt.âÂ
She chuckles "Thanks."Â
He can feel her body pressing against him, and he can't help but respond. His hand finds its way to her thigh, slowly moving upward. âWhat are you thinking about?âÂ
His touch sent shivers down her body "Sif and I were talking today about...some things."Â
Loki nods and then leans closer to her âWhat sort of thingsâŠ?âÂ
âPersonal things...âÂ
He thinks for a moment and then speaks softly âcan you tell meâŠ?âÂ
Y/N chuckles and nods "She was telling me about her first time."Â
Lokiâs interest is piqued, and he raises his eyebrow âandâŠ?âÂ
"I donât know, I was just...wondering about things.â Y/N looks at him, a small blush on her face âHave you...did you already...Have you ever had sex?"âÂ
Loki turns red and he blushes âuhm well noâŠ.âÂ
âReally? But youâre a prince.â She smiles.Â
He shrugs and blushes even harder âwell, have youâŠ?âÂ
â...no.â She blushes.Â
Loki turns to her and looks her in the eye âSo you havenâtâŠever?âÂ
"No. Why?" She looks at him.Â
âI just thoughtâŠwell, you must have had boyfriends, right...?â Loki asked.Â
Y/N chuckles "I spent my free time with you, so no. I don't."Â
Loki blushes more and moves a bit closer to her âSoâŠweâre both virginsâŠ?âÂ
âYeah.â Y/N let out a nervous chuckle.Â
Loki smiles at her and his body heats up. He leans in closer to her, almost whispering âSoâŠwant to change that...?âÂ
â...what?â She whispers back to him.Â
His breath hitches and he speak softly âDoâŠyou wannaâŠ.yâknow do it together?â Y/N thinks for a few seconds before she nods at him. He was her first kiss and she trusted him to be her first time too. Loki smiles gently, biting his lip ever so slightly âYou sure this is what you want?âÂ
âI am. Are you?â Â
Loki nods, his heart pounding in his chest âYes, I am.â he leans in slowly, pressing his lips against hers. She kisses him back, remembering a when they kissed for the first time years ago.Â
Feeling her lips against his, Loki groans softly into the kiss. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as their tongues slowly explore each otherâs mouths. Their kiss deepens as their desire grows stronger.Â
Lokiâs hands wander over her body, exploring the curves that have developed over the years. Y/Nâs hand also explored his body and his muscular chest through the clothes he was wearing. That made Loki let out a groan when her hands travelled his body. He breaks the kiss to press his lips against her neck, trailing soft kisses down her collarbone, making Y/N moan and her hands going down to palm him through the pants. Loki gasped at the feeling. Heâs never been touched like this before by someone else and itâs driving him wild. Â
He slides his hand on her body to take off the shirt she was wearing, exposing her breasts to him. Lokiâs mouth goes down, capturing one of her nipples in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth softly. Y/Nâs hands worked quickly to take off his shirt too, while his hands worked to slide down her body the boxer she was wearing. Â
Y/Nâs hand found his cock when she opens his pants, making Loki gasp and his hips buck into her touch. He groans loudly as he feels her fingers wrapped around his throbbing length âOh gods, Y/N... this feel so good...â She kept stroking him while he struggles to maintain control when her hands worked on him.Â
She suddenly stops, smiling at him âCan you take these off? I want to try something.âÂ
Loki grins and quickly pull the remaining clothes off, his erection visible now making her eyes widen, thinking if he would really fit her. âWhat do you have in mind?âÂ
âLay down.â She says.Â
With a nod, Loki obey her. She starts stocking him slowly again, making him moan loudly and squirm beneath her as she kept her slow pace. âOh, fuck...âÂ
âCan you guide me?â She asks with a smirk on her lips.Â
Loki just nods his head when she decided to put him on her mouth. His hips jerk up off the bed ad he feels Y/Nâs warm mouth on his cock, making him let out a long and low moan. Lokiâs hand run though her hair, guiding her as she takes more of him. Lokiâs eyes roll back into his head, unable to believe how good this feels. Â
Y/N looks at him confused when he suddenly pulls her off âDid I do something wrong?âÂ
He shakes his head quickly and pulls her to kiss her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth and tasting himself âNo, you were perfect. I just want to finish with you.âÂ
âOh, okay.â She smiles.Â
Loki lay her down underneath him, smiling at her as his hands moved to her folds. Y/N let out a moan just with the feelings of his hands coming close. She was never touched like that by anyone. Loki slide one finger inside her, slowly stroking her wetness and rubbing her clit with his thumb. That made her let out a louder moan.Â
Feeling her inner walls clench around his finger, Loki chuckles softly. He kisses her neck and moves to her ear, nibbling gently âSo wet for me...âÂ
âLoki...â She moans his name.Â
Loki groans in response, pushing a second finger inside her slowly. He starts thrusting them in and out gently, stretching her as he leans down to capture one of her nipples in his mouth again. Feeling her body respond to his touch, Loki puck up the pace slightly, increasing both the depth and the speed of his thrust.Â
âLoki, I think Iâm close.âÂ
He quickens his pace even more âCome for me.â Seconds later she was hit by her climax, and his fingers keep stroking her, feeling her muscles relax and loosen after her orgasm. âI donât want this to hurt you, Y/N/N. Are you ready?âÂ
Y/N just nods at him. Slowly, Loki lines himself up with her entrance, taking a deep breath before he starts pushing forward slowly, feeling the tightness of her entrance as he slips inside. Her face showed pain when he enters her and a few tears scape her eyes. Loki freezes seeing her tears and stops, kissing her tears away. He then keeps sliding inside her, slower than the first time and stops, kissing gently her forehead.Â
âYou can move.â She says after a few more seconds.Â
Once heâs sure that she wasnât in pain anymore, Loki begins to move, his thrusts slow and gentle as his hands find their way to hers where they lace their fingers together. Y/N let out a small moan, her pain turning into pleasure. Â
Loki speed up his thrusts slightly as he hears her moans, watching her face for any sigh that he was going too fast or too hard. When she smiles softly at him, he returns her smile, a warm feeling spreading through his chest. After years of waiting, he finally lost his virginity with her, his best friend.Â
âLoki, Iâm...âÂ
âI know.â Was all he said before kissing her. Loki was close too. Her walls clenched around his cock as she moans his name again. Feeling her climax, Loki couldnât help but release his seed deep inside her. He groans into the kiss, feeling a wave of pleasure wash over him. Panting heavily, Loki slowly pulls out of her, and he collapsed onto the bed besides her. A small smile crept onto his lips as he thought of what just happened between them âThatâŠfelt incredibleâŠâÂ
Y/N nods, still trying to catch her breath âYouâre sure you never done that before?âÂ
Loki chuckles as he wraps an arm around her and pulling her to him âIâm sure, that was honestly all new to me.âÂ
âWell, you were really good.â she chuckles, laying her head on his chest.Â
He blushes as he rubs his hand up and down her back, a small smile on his face âThank youâŠyou knowâŠI gotta say that was one of the best things I've ever done in my lifeâŠâÂ
âWe should do it more times.â Y/N suggested.Â
Loki nods âI agree, I wouldnât mind doing this over and over again with youâŠâÂ
She smiles at him âYeah. Weâre friends, we can be a bit more intimate...âÂ
He smiles and rubs her back a bit âI guess thatâs how we can describe it and thatâs how it should stay, right? Just friendsâŠâÂ
âYeah.â She agrees.Â
-----Â
Y/N and Loki manage to keep that way for about 8 months. But being intimate brough them closer than they already were, making people inside the palace starts gossiping about them, how they were cute together, that they were probably together but just hiding for the public, that theyâre in love. Even Thor and his friends engage with that gossip.Â
Loki would notice the whispers. Some people in the castle would start joking around with him about him being âin loveâ with her. He would jokingly brush it off with a laugh and would deny it. But he was starting to actually have feelings for her. But he could not act on them due to the fact that he remembered what she said to him about them just being friends. So, he remained silent about the situation, still only acting as just friends with her.Â
Y/N knocked on Lokiâs door earlier than normal. Loki was just sitting on his bed reading a book and he was quite shocked at her early arrival. He quickly put his book aside and went to the door âHey, whatâre you doing here?âÂ
Loki could see she was angry âYour dear brother just kicked me out of our training today.âÂ
He was take by surprise by her answer and he got slightly confused âW-what...? Thor kicked you outâŠ?âÂ
âYes!â she sits on his bed letting out a frustrated sigh.Â
Loki was shocked and he wasn't expecting her to be this angry. He sits down next to her and thinks about this for a moment before finally asking âWhy did he kick you out?âÂ
âJust because I was mad that they kept saying those gossips about us.âÂ
âWellâŠyou shouldnât be paying mind and listening to what people are saying, okay?â Loki says to her, trying to easy her anger.Â
Y/N sighs âI know, but itâs all the damn time...âÂ
Loki nods, taking her hand gently âDonât let them get to youâŠalright...?âÂ
She looks for a moment to their hands together, a small smile appearing on her face âIâll try.âÂ
Loki smiled back at her and then speaks softly âListenâŠabout those people that gossip about usâŠ.do you think theyâre right?âÂ
Y/N chuckles, looking at him âWe both know that weâre not together.âÂ
He just nods, looking down before he says quietly âRight, weâre not⊠just friends rightâŠ?âÂ
Y/N noticed the way he was acting. In fact, she noticed the last time they were together too, but she said to herself she was imagining things. âYouâre not happy with this, are you?âÂ
Loki sighs, avoiding eye contact with her âNoâŠhonestlyâŠno Iâm not happy with thisâŠâÂ
She nods at him, feeling tense and fearing his next answer âDo you want to stop?âÂ
He looks back up at her âNoâŠI meantâŠIâm unhappy with the fact that weâre just friends.âÂ
Y/N let out the breath she was holding, relaxing with his answer and smiling âOh, thank the gods!âÂ
Loki was surprised by her reaction. He had expected her to pull away as soon as he had said his last few words âButâŠyouâŠyouâre not upsetâŠ?âÂ
âNo.â She chuckles âI was thinking about that the last two times we had sexâŠâÂ
His body tenses up and he blinks in surprise, his heart pounding as he realizes what sheâs said âH-hold on a secâŠw-weâre you actually wanting to take this furtherâŠ?"Â
âYeah, I just didnât know how to bring this upâŠâÂ
Loki was speechless as he realized how stupid he was for not acting on those feelings earlier âBut does that mean you would want to start aâŠ. relationship with meâŠ?"Â
âIf you want to.â Y/N smiles widen.Â
He smiles and grabs her hand âYou have no idea how happy youâve made me right now. Iâve wanted this for so longâŠâ She smiles at him. Lokiâs heartbeat quickens as he feels her hand brush against his. He was finally with the woman he had always wanted to be with for so long.Â
Years later
 Y/N and Loki were still dating. They were the favorite royal couple. Â
Thor instead in them going with him to fight the frost giants. Loki had become a master of magic in thoses years and Y/N was one of the best warriors of Asgard. When Thor asked them to go with him to fight the frost giants, Loki agreed without any hesitation or question.Â
As they were preparing to leave Loki walked up to Y/N. He looked at her and smirked a soft smile âHey.âÂ
âHi.â She smiles at him. He could notice she was tense.Â
"Are you ready for this?â He asked walking closer to her.Â
âYeah.âÂ
Loki grabs her hands and gives it a tight squeeze âDon't worry, I won't let anything hurt you.â He smiles at her and pats her forearm reassuringly.Â
That made her chuckle, she probably was a better fighter than he was "I'm not worried about that."Â
He looks at her curiously, raising his eyebrow âThen what are you worried about?âÂ
"Odin said for Thor to let it pass, and yet Thor insisted. I just have a bad feeling about this..." She says at her boyfriend.Â
Loki thinks about what she's said, he also was feeling a bit uneasy as well, but he wasn't going to admit that yet âHmm... well, I think we'll be fine. I mean we're fighting frost giants, not the entire realm.â he then smirked and spoke sarcastically âBesides, are you scared?âÂ
Y/N rolled her eyes at him âMe? Never!âÂ
Y/N and Loki joined everyone else. In the middle of the fight, she saw one of them grabbing Loki's arm. When she run to him, he looks like he just saw a ghost. She grabbed his arm expecting to see a wound, but it had...nothing. He was fine.Â
Lokiâs eyes were widened, and he looked at her in shock as he slowly pulls his arm away from her. He was scared and his mind was going a mile a second as he was trying to figure out what exactly had happened.Â
âYouâre...not hurt.â She says looking at his arm confused.Â
He blinks and looks at her, his gaze was now a bit more confused, and she could see that he was still shaken up. âIâŠnoâŠIâm notâŠ.âÂ
They didn't have much time after that to talk. Everything happened so fast, Odin came and took them all back, banished Thor to Midgard. Y/N quickly took Loki back to her room, before Odin decided to do something with him too.Â
Loki was obviously shaken up by everything that had happened. He was quiet and kept to himself whilst Y/N took him to her room and his mind was just running a mile a minute. Once they were inside her room, he spoke for the first time since everything had happened "I need to go...to see something."Â
Y/N nods âOkay, Iâll go with you.âÂ
"No... I'll go alone. It's something I have to do on my own...Iâll be right back." Loki doesn't explain any further as he walks out of her room, leaving a confused Y/N.Â
It had been already an hour after that. Loki sat silently in his room, staring at a blank wall as he tried to take all of it in. This had to be a mistake...this couldn't be right...how the hell was he a frost giant? There were so many damn questions racing through his mind right now.Â
There was a knock on his door. He looked up and he opened the door, he was still processing everything, and he had almost forgotten about Y/N. âYeah?âÂ
"I've been looking for you like crazy." She says entering his room.Â
Loki raised an eyebrow âLooking for me? I think youâre being a little dramaticâ he says casually, although his voice cracked slightly from the stress of everything that was going through his mind.Â
"Me? Dramatic? You're the one who left me alone and was being mysterious and all." Y/N says.Â
He was angry and confused at everything that happened with him âWhat the hell is your goddamn problem? It isnât like I left you for days or something, why are you so worried?âÂ
âBecause I care about you.âÂ
Loki scoffs and glares down at her, he was feeling more and more pissed off âDid you not understand me the first damn time? I just needed some time to myself, is that so goddamn hard for you to understand?âÂ
"Your brother have just been banished and you left gods knows where. Are you really complaining about me being worried about you?" She was not believing the way he was acting.Â
He rolls his eyes and sighs, closing it for a few seconds before opening them again. âDo you think that right now I want your goddamn sympathy? No! I want to be left alone! Alone with my thoughts. Donât you get it?âÂ
Y/N took a step back âIs that what you really want? To be alone?âÂ
âYes! Thatâs what I want! Can you not take the damn hint?!â Loki yells at her, taking a step forward and clenching his fists as he did.Â
âDo I annoy you that much?â She asks almost in a whisper.Â
Loki glares at her âYes! You do! You annoy the hell out of me!â He yells, he had never said something like that to her before and it really caught her off guard.Â
Y/N keeps looking at him "Okay...I won't 'annoy' you anymore...or ever again" She took out the bracelet Loki had gifted her when they started dating and put on his desk, before she turns and left him alone "I'm ending this."Â
That hit Loki like cold water. He was shocked when Y/N placed the bracelet that he had gifted her on the desk. But when she said that she was âending thisâ and then started to walk out, he quickly ran after her âWait! Wait!â he yelled, trying desperately to get her attention. But she didnât stop, she kept walking away, with tears on her face now.Â
Loki runs up to her and grabs her wrist gently and stops her from going âWait! Please wait! Just hear me out! Iâm sorry, Iâm so sorry! IâŠâ Y/N just shakes her head, crying. Loki feels guilty, he didnât really mean what he said. He was just overwhelmed and stressed out from everything. he was still trying to control his emotions âI didnât mean itâŠI swearâŠâ Loki sighs heavily as he wipes away her tears âIâm just confused right now. Iâm sorry about what I said. Please donât end this over what I said, I was just emotional. I didnât mean any of it. Please donât end thisâŠâÂ
âWhy did you say it?â She asks him in a whisper, tears still running down her face.Â
Loki sighs once again and doesnât speak for a few seconds âI donât know why I didâŠI was stressed out and confused. I had no idea what to do, and my emotions just exploded. SoâŠIâm sorryâŠI really amâŠâ Â
Y/N tries to wipe the tears, but more came "I need you to be honest with me."Â
Loki nods, still glancing away from her to the side. He then spoke quietly, as to avoid choking up or his voice faltering, he was still trying desperately not to cry âI willâŠâÂ
âDo you love me?âÂ
He sighs and looks back up at her âYesâŠI love you so much. And Iâm an idiot for just saying all those things to you without properly assessing my own emotionsâŠâÂ
"What happened?" She asks softly.Â
Loki pauses for a few seconds before speaking. âWellâŠto make a long story short, i found out about my true heritage...Iâm not an AsgardianâŠâ He could see the confusion on her face âIâm aâŠfrost giant.â Â
Y/Nâs eyes widen in shock for a second before she looks down at her feet. A few seconds passed, in a silence that was making Loki more anxious than ever. âI donât care.â She finally says.Â
He was a bit surprised that Y/N didnât take the news horribly. He was waiting for her to call him a monster, say she never want to see him again...but she was actually alright with him being a frost giant. âYouâre justâŠfine with this? Most people would be terrified of me now.âÂ
"Well, I'm not most people, Loki. I'm the person who stays with the little boy who cried when his father was mean. I'm the person who was always by your side. Iâm the person who loves you.âÂ
Loki was stunned, hearing her say that made his heart melt and some tears fall off his eyes. He never knew he was going to find someone like her. âThank you...thank you for being here for me..." Loki couldn't help himself, he pulled her close and kissed her. Y/N smiles into the kiss, not expecting it at all. She wraps her arms around him, embracing the kiss. She felt comfortable in his arms once again and she felt happy. Â
"Don't you ever say anything like that to me again. Or I swear I will break things up for good." Â
Loki couldnât help but smile when she said that. She wasnât leaving him after all, and she still loved him. So, he nodded and spoke softly âI wonât. I promiseâŠâ Y/N had tried her best to keep Loki sane after all of these events, but he was too angry. After the events that succeed, Y/N had cried a lot when Thor told her he had die in the Bifrost. Â
But then, imagine her surprise when Thor came telling her that Loki was on Midgard, trying to dominate the planet with an army. Y/N was in shock when she heard that. She wasnât quite sure how to feel. On one hand, she was happy to hear that he was still alive but on the other, she wasnât excited about him being on Midgard. The thought of him trying to take over the planet worried her.Â
Thor took her there with him, thinking that maybe she could get him to stop if the moment came. She hadn't seen him until the final fight in the Stark tower, when she walked to him with her armor and her sword in hand, like Thor had requested her. Loki had his back to her "Loki?"Â
Loki heard his name being called but he continued to gaze out at the destruction behind him that he had left in his path. He didnât turn to face her, and his voice had a hint of a cold indifference in it ââŠwhat do you want?âÂ
She looks at the image in front of him "That's not you."Â
He continued to stare out into the destruction and chaos he had left. He knew she was right. He wasnât himself, he was a completely different version now. One that was angry, manipulative, cunning and cold âIâm fine. I donât see what the big deal isâŠâÂ
Y/N walked closer to him, putting her sword on the ground and using that hand to hold his shoulder âLoki...â His cold gaze finally turned to face her, though his expression remained the same, unchanging and uncaring. When she put her hand on his shoulder, he immediately flinched a little bit because of the sudden touch. âThatâs not you.â She said again.Â
Loki didnât say anything for a few seconds. He was silent, his face gave away little to no emotion âIâm no longer the person I was beforeâŠIâve changedâŠand Iâve learned muchâŠand Iâve become so much moreâŠâÂ
She reached for his face slowly, and Loki was caught a bit off guard when she put her hand on his face, but he didnât flinch or move his face away from her. He noticed that she was still wearing the bracelet he gifted her as well. Â
"Give up this madness dream. Come home with me." She says softly, her hand caressing his face.Â
Loki was silent for a few seconds as he stared at her. Then he finally spoke, his voice now had a slight hint of anger in it âI *will* have my revenge. Nothing...no one will stop meâŠâÂ
"Please, Loki. I know the man I love is still in there." She says with tears on her eyes. She didnât know if she would be able to fight him if it was necessary.Â
His anger immediately disappeared when she started to cry. Seeing her tears only reminded him of all of the times she had stood by him, through thick and thin. She was always there for him, he couldnât just abandon her again. So, he pulled her close and hugged her tightly, still not saying anything and just simply holding her close.Â
Y/N return his hug "I know something must happen to you...but please, stop it."Â
Loki continues to hug her and just holds her close for a few seconds. He didnât want her to know his traumatic past, at least not yet. So instead, he spoke softly âYouâre rightâŠsomething did happenâŠI canât tell youâŠâÂ
"It's okay. Just stop this attack and come home...I'll protect you." Â
Loki was now on the verge of crying when she said that. But she had told him she would protect him, and he was so desperate for that right now. He didnât want to be alone anymore. So, he spoke softly âPleaseâŠI need you.âÂ
He stopped the attack and end up fighting alongside the Avengers. Thor, Loki and Y/N went back home. Y/N and Thor talked with Odin and convinced him that Loki help them in the end, so he wouldnât send him to a cell.Â
Loki was now back at Asgard, where everything slowly became normal once again. However, he was still slightly traumatized by what had happened and was still suffering from the PTSD that he had acquired after the torture. The two of them were still together and he felt relieved that he didnât lose her. Loki struggled a lot with his nightmares, which were getting worse every night. Whenever they hit, he would wake up in a cold sweat, his heart beating out his chest and he would usually be crying. Y/N would be next to him every time, holding him gently and speaking softly, trying to comfort him when he woke up. He felt very weak and helpless during these moments, and he was glad he had her with him.Â
That night Loki also woke up with his nightmares, running to the bathroom to throw up. Loki was already on his knees, hugging the toilet and throwing up, his tears streaming down his face. Any second now he would begin hyperventilating, as was typical for how these nightmares would usually go for him. Y/N woke up and walked to the bathroom, holding his hair back. He immediately calmed down a bit and took a deep breath. Hearing her voice and feeling her touch made things more bearable.Â
Loki was still shaking a bit when he finally finished throwing up, so Y/N hugged him tightly as they sit on the bathroomâs floor. His body was shaking almost uncontrollably, and he was trying not to hyperventilate. His breath was shaky, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly as he tried to control himself. But when she hugged him, he stopped for a few seconds and then he hugged her back, burying his head into her shoulder and holding her tight.Â
"You know you'll have to talk about this some time, Loki..." She says softly.Â
Loki sniffled and held her a bit tighter for a few seconds before he finally spoke softly. His voice sounded choked up and shaky and he was still trying to stop himself from crying. âI know...I just...not yet.âÂ
âI hate to see you like that.â Y/N says while she brushes his hair away from his face.Â
He nodded his head, still holding her tightly âI knowâŠI know that I need to talk about itâŠitâs justâŠI donât know if I canâŠ.I justâŠâ it was clear that he didnât know how to speak about it. He simply couldnât bear to relive what had happened to him.Â
"Do you want me to...see it?" Â
Loki flinches, the prospect of her seeing his memories was terrifying for him. He didnât want anyone to see what he had gone through, least of all someone who he loved so deeply. So, he shook his head.Â
"Loki, you need to let it out. He can't hurt you anymore."Â
He takes a few seconds before speaking again. He was still on the verge of tears, and he was shaking quite a bit. He understood the importance of talking about it, but he could barely even bring himself to speak about it âI knowâŠI know that it will helpâŠbut Iâm justâŠIâm just scaredâŠso scaredâŠâÂ
"I'm here with you." She says "I'll always be here with you."Â
Loki sniffled and he hugged her back tightly. Hearing her say that she would always be there for him gave him a bit of strength, and he tightened his grip on her as if to show his appreciation and gratitude. He slowly let out a breath and his tears began to subside. âI knowâŠI know you will beâŠâÂ
She starts brushing his hair, close to his forehead "Can I?"Â
Loki was a bit hesitant at first, he wasnât sure about her entering his mind and reliving the trauma with him. He hated the idea of possibly putting her through thatâŠbut he felt so weak and so helpless, and she offered. So, he eventually nodded. Â
So she did it. She could see the memories when he let her enter. She was gently around his mind when she starts seeing the fight with Thor at the Bifrost, when he let it go. She saw all the torture he endured from the mad titan and everything that happened with him. She could feel his pain and she could understand why he was so reluctant to talk about it. It was a horrible realization but now she knew the extent of the abuse he endured while under the mercy of Thanos.Â
When she came back, she was crying. Loki noticed that she was crying, and he looked up at her with a concerned expression. âA-are you okay...?âÂ
Y/N shook her head. "No, Loki. I'm sorry you have been through all of that." She hugs him so tightly.Â
Loki was still silent for a few seconds as he simply hugged her tightly and buried his head in her shoulder again. He didnât know quite what to say, he just wanted to forget about what had happened. Especially now when having to think back on it all. When she hugged him back, he started to squeeze her even tighter, as if seeking comfort and trying to remind himself that the pain was now gone. He didnât want to relive it ever again.Â
"You'll never go through that ever again. I'll protect you, I swear."Â
Loki wanted to believe her so much. Having her to protect him was a great comfort for him and a great relief. He was so vulnerable right now, scared to ever face anything like that again. Hearing that he would never go through that again was extremely reassuring to him. He kept hugging her and didnât want to let go. âYou promise?âÂ
âI promise.â Â
Loki was getting better after a couple of months. He still had some nightmares, but not as often as before. Thanks to Y/N being by his side, he had started to sleep a little more soundly than before. His nightmares had gone from multiple times a week to only once a week, which was an achievement in his eyes. He didnât feel as scared to sleep anymore and he was thankful for that. Especially because he knew his girlfriend was right by his side, ready to help him out whenever he needed it.Â
After six months, Loki was finally getting better. His nightmares were now happening rarely instead of occasionally. He still had them from time to time, but they were now much more manageable. He still had a lot of healing to do, but this was definitely progress.Â
With each day that passed and each night that went by, Loki just continued to think about how much he loved his girlfriend. She was always by his side, and she always managed to comfort him whenever he needed it. She supported him through everything, and she understood him like no one else did. It was only natural that he started to think about marriage. He didnât necessarily know if she thought the same, but the thought hadnât left him for a while now.Â
"What you're thinking about?" Y/N asks as she notices he was not paying attention to the book on his hands.Â
Loki was still lost in thought, thinking about the prospect of marriage. He hadnât realized that he had stopped paying attention to the book he had in his hands, as he had simply been staring blankly at it. But then she asked him a question and snapped him out of his thoughts. âNothingâŠjustâŠnothingâŠâÂ
Y/N chuckles âIt doesnât look like nothing.âÂ
He also chuckled a bit and then said âOkay, maybe it was somethingâŠ.âÂ
"Are you gonna tell me?" She sits closer to him.Â
Loki was silent for a few seconds and then he finally spoke softly âI was justâŠthinking about somethingâŠabout usâŠ?âÂ
"Should I worry about this?" Y/N says with a playful smile.Â
âNot necessarilyâŠI was just thinking aboutâŠwhat if we took our relationship to the next levelâŠyou knowâŠâÂ
âLike how?â Â
ââŠlikeâŠgetting married?â Loki spoke carefully and anxiously as he said this, he was wondering what her reaction would be.Â
Y/N smiles softly at him* "Are you serious?"Â
Loki nodded and spoke softly âYesâŠ.Iâve been thinking about it for a while nowâŠ.and I wanted to know what you thinkâŠ.âÂ
âI wouldnât be opposite of the idea.â Lokiâs heart started to beat rapidly as she said that. âCan you imagine us, married and with a mini you running around?" Loki blushed and smiled, imagining the scenario was a bit adorable. Â
He could just imagine the two of them with their child, living happily ever after. Loki liked that ideaâŠvery much. It felt so innocent and so pure, something that he had wanted for so long. And there was no way he would ever let go of it, not ever. âThat would be so perfectâŠour own little familyâŠâÂ
Y/N smiled at the thought âYeah...âÂ
Loki smiled back at her, and he wanted to say something else. But he still felt a bit anxious, he still felt like it wasnât set in stone just yet âSoâŠyouâre really saying yesâŠ? LikeâŠdefinitely, yesâŠ?âÂ
"I don't know...make the proposal." She chuckles. Loki smirked at her response and then thought to himself. He was definitely going to propose to her soon, that was for sure. So he started to hatch out a plan for the perfect proposal he would want. Once he had that all figured out, the only thing that would be left was to execute it.Â
Days had passed and Loki had been waiting for the right moment. And after a week of waiting, he got that perfect moment. He found her alone in her room and he knew that now was his chance to do it.Â
âHey.â Y/N smiled as he entered her room.Â
âHeyâŠâ Loki smiles back at her. He feels the rush of adrenaline as he finally has his chance. This is the moment heâs been waiting for. So, he speaks confidently as he approaches her âI want to ask you somethingâŠ.âÂ
âSure.âÂ
Loki takes a deep breath and steadies his voice, trying to sound as confident and sure as he could when speaking. âYou know how a few weeks ago I brought up marriageâŠ?â She nods at him. Loki nods too and gets on one knee, making Y/N smiles. There was a hint of nervousness in his voice, but he managed to keep it steady, and he spoke confidently. âI want to make you mineâŠcompletelyâŠand I would like for you to do the sameâŠwill you marry me..?âÂ
âYes, Loki. Yes!â She hugs him.Â
He breathed a sigh of relief as she said yes. He was so excited and happy right now, he was over the moon. He smiled back at her and then he spoke softly. âThenâŠwill you please take this, as a sign of my love?â Loki holds up the ring, waiting for her to accept it.Â
Y/N gave him her hand so he could put the ring on her. âItâs beautiful.âÂ
Loki was absolutely overjoyed. It was one of the most perfect moments of his entire life. All his work in planning the proposal payed off. And seeing her accept the ring, his mother's ring, was the cherry on top. Loki was just so relieved and so happy, he was beaming with joy. "It used to be my mother's...I wanted you to have it..."Â
âThank you.â She smiles before she kisses him.Â
He smiled back at her when he breaks the kiss, the entire moment was like a dream come true. He was so overjoyed that he almost couldn't keep his cool. This was the perfect moment. So he took her hand again and squeezed it softly. "I love you..."Â
âI love you too.âÂ
A few months after, the royal wedding happened in Asgard. It was a beautiful wedding. A true fairy tale wedding. Loki and Y/N had finally married. The prince of Asgard had found true love and married his princess. Loki was happier than ever, with the woman he loved the most besides him. This was his happy ending, this was his happily ever after.Â
Five months after the wedding, Y/N started not feeling well. She usually woke up throwing up.Â
Loki was still asleep beside her when he suddenly woke up to the sound of her vomiting. He immediately jumped out of bed and went over to her. âA-Y/NâŠ?Â
âHm?â She had her eyes closed as another wave of nausea hit her.Â
Loki was now in distress and panic. He was getting worried as he tried to keep his cool and not let her know his real feelings yet. âA-are you okay..? Youâve been vomiting for a few days nowâŠ.â He was so concerned about her at this point.Â
"I don't know, maybe it's something I eat?" She felt the nausea passing and open her eyes to look at him.Â
Loki still looked worried and concerned, he wasnât quite buying her excuse. It didnât make sense to him âBut itâs been four days in a rowâŠdonât you think thatâs concerning a little?â Â
"I'll see a healer later if that's makes you feel better." She smiles at him.Â
He wasnât reassured, he was still concerned about her. But he decided to not press the issue further for now âOkayâŠjust promise me youâll see one as soon as possibleâŠâÂ
Y/N nods and later that day, she went to the healer. When she got back to their room, she had a small box in her hand.Â
âWhatâs in that boxâŠ?â Loki was waiting for her back in the room.Â
"Oh, it's a present for you." She smiles handling him the box. "Open in.âÂ
Lokiâs nervous look remained on his face as he slowly took the box from her, not knowing what may be in there. But he then opened it and his eyes widened when he saw what was inside. His heart raced as he saw that it was a small pair of shoes. âWhatâŠ.are theseâŠ?âÂ
"I don't know, Loki. What are these?" She asks him smiling.Â
âThey look likeâŠbaby shoesâŠâ Lokiâs heart races as he realizes what she is implying. He didnât even want to believe it. But then he spoke, and his tone was shaky. âAre youâŠâ Â
Loki was speechless. It was official now; he was going to be a father. He was so happy, he felt so many different emotions rushing through him right now, but the main one was pure joy. âIâm going to be a dadâŠ?âÂ
"You're going to be a dad." Y/N spoke softly before she kissed her husband.Â
Nine months later, Y/N gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Loki was overjoyed about it. Holding the baby boy in his arms felt like a dream come true. His life would never be the same after this, everything would be different. And it was for the better. This child would be the most important thing to him, there would be nothing that would compare to this precious baby. He kissed him on the forehead, smiling as he did so. Â
Loki was the best father ever to his son. He was everything Odin never was to him. Loki made sure the child had everything he could ever want or need. He made sure his childhood would be beautiful and happy and he made sure he gave him everything he never had. He made sure to give him all the love he had to offer to his precious son. He spent a great majority of his time with him. And Y/N made sure she took good care of him as well. She made sure to teach him about love and everything he needed to know about the world. It was a beautiful sight.Â
A year later, close to their son first birthday, Y/N had found out she was pregnant again. But this time, she was better prepared to make a surprise to Loki.Â
He had just put the baby to sleep and came back to their room. âI have a surprise for you.â Y/N said softly. She gave him a present box. "Open in.âÂ
Loki open the box and just looked at the shirt in a bit of confusion. It said 'Daddyâs girlâ when they had a son. âUhâŠ? Did you buy this by mistakeâŠ?â Y/N shakes her head ânoâ. Loki was still quite confused. Why did she buy a âdaddyâs girlâ shirt? They had a son, not a daughter. So, it made no sense for her to buy that. âThen why did you get itâŠ?âÂ
"Because our daughter will need it." Y/N was holding back her smile seeing Lokiâs confusion.Â
He immediately tensed up at the word âdaughterâ and realized what she was implying. Their daughter. She was implying that they were going to have a second child. He just couldnât believe it. He couldnât believe that it was really happening. Loki was overwhelmed with emotions, and it showed on his face. His mouth dropped open as he spoke softly. âOur daughter..?âÂ
Y/N nods, making Lokiâs heart raced and his breathing quickened as he realized the good news. His smile became so wide that he even felt his cheeks ache. He was going to be a father again? That was an overwhelming thought and he loved it. The happiness he felt was overwhelming. âWeâre going to have a daughterâŠ?â He finally asked. She nods again, a few tears escaping her eyes.Â
Loki was filled with so many emotions right now that he just embraced her in a tight and loving hug. He held her close to him, smiling as he did so. Lokiâs happiness was palpable at this point. He couldnât believe that he was going to be a father again. He just couldnât. And it was so unbelievable that he almost couldnât accept it just yet. But as he held his wife close to him, he embraced the idea of having another child.Â
They had some hard months ahead. Thor had given up the throne, so Loki was next in line to be king now. And a few more months, another baby, a beautiful and healthy baby girl, was born. Loki felt like he was on a cloud, he just couldnât believe how his life was working out so well for him. With a gorgeous wife and two beautiful children, life couldnât get any better.Â
He was truly overjoyed and grateful. His life was filled with nothing but love and blessings. There was nothing left that he could possibly ask for now. With two beautiful children, the best wife in the world, a kingdom to rule one day. Things couldnât be better. And as he looked down at his babygirl, he thought about all of this. He loved his life, he loved being a father and he loved his family. And this was more than just a passing thought, this was his life. His happy, fulfilling, life.Â
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hey! lemme just say first that I love your Agatha fics, it's so on character <3 I read your fic the other night and I can't stop thinking about it. Is there part 2 for 'Why are you here'? If there will be, I was thinking if you could put how Reader went to Agatha's house that night and she (Agatha) fulfilled her promise to her by fucking her in different positions until she's overstimulated. and then she breeds her full of her cum just because she's possessive :D
You Came
Pairing: Agatha Harkness x Maximoff!Reader
Word Count: 2238
Warnings: Smut, Legal age gap, Dom!Agatha, Sub!Reader, Enchanted Strap, Cum Strap, Breeding, Degrading, Possessive!Agatha, Blow Jobs, Rough sex, Dark!Agatha at the end, Overstimulation, Dacryphilia, Slight bondage, Squirting, Marking.
Pt 1, Pt 3
A/n: I had enjoyment of writing this. Of course while writing I had the thought of Agatha having darker ulterior motives but like she still wants Reader either way. Just a bit of a motivation to have them.
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN
The window squeaks as it slides open. You grimace at the noise hoping that no one heard you. The darkness and silence around you leads you to let out a breath that you didnât know you were holding. You carefully climb out the window, your foot catching on the window seal before you face plant into the ground. Your hands going out trying to catch you but failing miserably. âSon of a bitch.â You groan as you get up and dust yourself off. Youâre thankful that after the commotion earlier in the day your mom as she profusely apologized used her magic to heal you. She normally never did that but she felt so guilty for being the one to cause you pain that she made an exception. You know she never meant to hurt you so all was forgiven, but now you're sneaking out to meet up with a woman that your mom despises.Â
You look around making sure that no one heard you yet again. Sneaking out past the front window. You can see your mom the glow of the tv in the dark room illuminating her sleeping face. You feel bad for sneaking out to meet Agatha but the woman is so enticing. You shake the thoughts away as you make your way next door.Â
You raise your hand balling it into a fist ready to knock on the door when it swings open. You gasp in surprise at the much older woman standing in front of you wearing nothing but a lace lingerie set. You frantically look back behind you turning your head in multiple directions scared someone will see. Your head whips back to the woman a smirk on her lips as her hand is planted on the edge of the door. âWhat the fuck do you think your doing?â You whisper scream at Agatha. She grabs the collar of your shirt, balling her fist there and pulls you in, shutting the door behind you before pressing you against it. Her hand snaking around your neck and squeezing. âWho do you think you're talking to like that little girl? Hmm did your mother never teach you manners? Donât worry bunny, I'll teach you.â You canât help the whimper that slips past your lips.Â
Agatha licks her lips. Your wide eyed innocent look is driving her insane. She canât wait to destroy you. She pushes you down to the ground hard. Your kneeâs connecting with the hardwood floors causing you to whimper from the pain. Sure that you will have bruises there later. You look up to the woman confusion crossing your face as a sinister grin spreads across her. Purple swirls around the both of you before a strap appears around her hips slapping you in the face. Your clothes are also gone in an instant. You blush a deep red trying to cover your body but Agatha has no part of that. Your hands are instantly bound behind your back purple magic wrapped around them tightly.Â
Arousal starts to coat your thighs as Agatha takes her strap in her hand, jerking it a bit and moaning before slapping it against your cheek a few times. âI want you to suck my cock. Put that dirty mouth to good use.â You open your mouth to talk back but instead Agatha shoves her strap down your throat causing you to gag. When she moans it that is when you realize that the strap is enchanted. You can feel it pulsing in your throat as you look up at the woman with tears in your eyes.Â
Agathaâs hand cups your cheek wiping away the tears that fall. âSo pretty when you cry.â She thrust the strap in and out of your throat. Her hand moving from your cheek up to your hair. Gripping harshly and pulling you all the way down on her cock. Your gags fill the room as more tears fall down your face. She leaves you there for what seems like forever before pulling you off. You cough, catching your breath. But she only gives you a short amount of time before she is back to fucking your throat with her strap. The only sounds in the room are of your gags and her moans. âFuck if your throat feels like this I canât wait to fuck your pussy.â She groans her hips already become more erratic the longer she thrust.Â
Arousal drips out of you, your thighs coated as it slowly drips to the floor. Your mind is already turning to mush as the woman uses you. Her hips are jerking and you think she is about to cum but then her hips come to a stop. Pulling you off of her and pulling you up by your hair. You whimper as your scalp stings her grip tight. Youâre soon face to face with the woman but not for long. She waves the restraints away and pushes you back against the door. Her hands moving to the back of your thighs signaling for you to jump. You do as she wants she catches you as you wrap your legs around her waist and she pushes you further into the door. Your chest slightly heaving as your still trying to catch your breath from the brutal throat fucking.Â
âGod, you're already dripping all over me. Are you so much of a whore that fucking your throat gets you off?â Agathaâs words are condescending. âI-â She cuts you off as she thrust her strap into your waiting hole. You let out a loud moan as she sheaths herself in you. âMmm fuck.â You groan, your head falling back on the door. She starts a hard and face pace pounding into you. Your mind goes blank as the only thoughts in your head are of her. Her name is already falling from your lips like a chant.Â
You hate how embarrassingly fast she is building you up. Perfectly angeling her hips hitting that spot deep inside you as her fingers dig into your hips. Her lips move to meet your neck leaving her mark behind as she pounds into you. You know you will be covered by the end of this. Nipping and sucking along her neck and chest. âPlease.â You whimper out the only word your brain can form. âPlease what bunny?â She smirks against your skin. She knows exactly what you want but why not toy with you a little more.Â
You struggle to find the words. Her hips jackhammering into you erratically and you can tell she is just as close as you are with your walls clamping around her tightly. âPl-please wanna cum.â You have more tears in your eyes. You try and look down at the woman begging with your tear stained face. Your arms wrapped around her back as your nails dig in leaving angry red lines in their wake.Â
âCum with me.â Agatha pecks your lips. With a few more thrust her hips stutter and you can feel a warm sticky fluid filling you up. You cry out as it triggers your own orgasm. Coating her strap in your juices as she continues to fuck into you. But she doesnât stop there she continues to pound into you intent on keeping her promise to show you just how much she can make you cum. âOh fuck!â You gasp. Her hips continue to drill into you faster if that was even possible.Â
Agatha kissing your neck and mumbling against your skin. âThis pretty little pussy is mine. No one can have you. No one can touch you, not even you. You understand me, little girl?â She grunts with every thrust. You shake your head, pleasure clouding your mind as your second orgasm nears. âIâm going to fill this pussy over and over again. All mine.â She is like an animal claiming her prey as she bites down hard on your neck. You cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain. Your orgasm unexpectedly washing over you as you cum again all over her strap. Your body arching, pressing your chest against hers as your legs shake around her waist. If she wasnât holding you against the door you know you would be on the floor. She moans, feeling you cum again following soon after. âMine. My little breeding bitch.â Her fingers dug in more.
You expect Agatha to slow down but she doesnât. She continues her pace. Youâve lost count of how many orgasms you have had. Your neck and chest marked with reddish purple marks, bruises forming on your hips and thighs and she relentlessly fucks you. Your cheeks are tear stained and youâve become a drooling whimpering mess. She fills you up again but this time when youâve come down her hips still leaning her forehead against your shoulder. Both of you panting heavily and bodies glistening with sweat. You have no idea how she is still holding you up like this but you're too dumbed down to really care.Â
When your breathing finally evens out a bit she shifts causing you to whimper. You're so overstimulated as the strap still buried inside of you moves. âToo much.â More tears stream down your face. But you can see a flicker of desire and that primal need to fill you once again.Â
Agatha carries you over to the back of the couch. Her strap slips out, making you whimper more. She places you down and your legs would have given out if it werenât for her hold on your waist. She quickly turns you around pushing your upper body over the back of the couch. âNo more.â You whimper out. âCome on, bunny, just one more for me. I need to make sure you're full of me.â Her fingers trace your red puffy pussy all of your combined juices leaking out down your legs. You squirm at her actions. Your body is telling you no but your mind is begging for more. Just like she knew you would. âOkay.â Your weak voice comes out.Â
That is all Agatha needs to shove her strap back into your hole. Still somehow so tight even after all the orgasms she has pulled out of you. She pulls your hands behind your back holding onto your wrist using them as leverage to pound into you. Youâre both so sensitive that your orgasms are building quickly. She leans over still rutting into you and whispers in your ear. âWhat would mommy dearest think seeing her little girl getting fucked into oblivion but her enemy. What if I get you pregnant with my child? Poor mommy would be so mad, wouldnât she?â Your mind reels at her words you love your mom more than anything and would never want to do anything to hurt her. But in this moment you feel so good and fucked out that all you can do is nod.Â
Agatha darkly chuckles as she stands back up her hips already jerking as she comes close to filling you up again. If her spell works right you will be pregnant with her child by the end of the night. She will get her revenge on Wanda and destroy her perfect little family. Smirking at the thought of how your mother will react when she finds out you're pregnant and when she finds out just who the other parent is. Her thrust becomes rougher and digging her nails into the skin of your wrist. Her plan unfolding perfectly with as she fucks into you. So pretty and perfect the perfect puzzle piece to her plan. But even after this she thinks she will keep you. You're too perfect and pliable to let go to waist on some stupid girl.Â
Agathaâs free hand reaches under your body, snaking her fingers down to your swollen clit. Pressing into it hard and pinching. You cry out form her actions but you push back none the less, helping to fuck yourself back on her strap. The pleasure is borderline painful as you become way too overstimulated. You canât hold out much longer as Agatha toys with your clit pounding into your soaked pussy. A mix of whimpers and moans leaving your lips as grunts leave Agathaâs.Â
All at once your body shakes under her. Your walls are squeezing her strap tight as you cum hard. Squirting everywhere making a mess of yourself and Agatha. She moans as your cum squirts out of you, vigorously pounding into you and circling your clit until she is emptying her load into you. Black spots start to invade your vision as Agatha rides you both through your highs. Soon the spots expand and your vision goes black and your body goes limp under her. Agatha slows to a stop before pulling out of your still spasming hole. Taking a minute to admire the cum leaking out of your gaping hole.Â
Agatha picks up your limp body moving around the couch and laying you down. With a flick of her wrist you're cleaned up and so is she. She leaves your form naked admiring her handy work. She leans down next to your sleeping body. Placing her hand gently on your stomach, magic flowing through her fingers. She smiles when she feels it. Her plan worked. Youâre pregnant with her child. She leans down kissing your head as her thumb rubs gently over your stomach. Youâre now hers forever.Â
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sweet tooth
pairing: park jay x waitress!afab reader
genre: smut, minimal fluff (minors dni)
warnings: oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe), public sex, creampie, finger sucking, minimal food play, lots of mentions of food, brief mention of male masturbation, jongseong is kind of a big desperate loser, lmk if iâm missing anything
word count: 6.7k
a/n: writing this killed me idk why it took fucking forever dawg. but hey, iâm finally giving you all an enha fic without a depressing ending!!! hereâs a fun drinking game to play while you read this: take a shot every time jay says a variation of âuhhhâ (you will die) ALSOOOO this is for my baeâs @k-ingzo @lix-ables thank you guys for hyping me up to write this bc if you didnât Iâm 90% sure I wouldâve scrapped it đ» LOVE YAAAAA
waiting.Â
the most painful game one can be subjected to.
seconds stretch into minutes stretch into hours and soon enough the whole concept of time is but a mere social construct that holds no real value.Â
surely his coffeeâs gone cold by now.Â
the view from the window to his right has progressed from one filled with gold, yellow and orange to one filled with blue, black, and indigo. one by one the neon signs of nearby businesses have flickered on to attract the nighttime crowd.Â
he tries to ignore the way his heart is sinking in his chest, much like the way he himself is sinking deeper and deeper into the red vinyl cushion of the booth heâs seated in. the overhead speakers have been blaring elvis for the past half hour and he wants to scream and smash a plate on the floor in frustration. if they play hound dog one more time i swear iâm gonna-
jennifer. 20. single. 2.3 km away. her bio read: only swipe right if you like puppies!!!!!
he does like puppies and found her to be quite pretty, so he did as he was instructed. his heart did a small flip in his chest when his phone screen lit up reading âitâs a match!â. he got to talking to her and things were going smoothly. well, at least he thought they were. now heâs alone in a booth constantly refreshing their online chat with some sliver of hope that she may still be coming. the same three messages stare back at him:
[5:17 pm] jay : hey! I got here a bit early so iâm just waiting in the car. let me know when you get here and weâll go in together.
[6:03 pm] jay: it started getting busy so i snagged us a booth, i hope thatâs ok⊠anyways, iâll see you soon.
[6:49 pm] jay: hello?
whatever, her loss. fuck dating apps.
and fuck jake sim for making him sign up for one.
maybe tinder just isnât for him. maybe he needs to find love the old fashion way: bumping into someone on the street; locking eyes across a crowded room; both of you reaching for the last bottle of wine at the grocery store and then just insisting that the other takes it. you know, the kind of shit you see in movies.
the only thing is heâs tried the old fashion way for years to no avail, with tinder being his last resort. things like these take time, he tries to remind himself. you canât rush love, thatâs the magic of it!
but now, seated in a booth at an obnoxiously retro themed diner with his head hung low, he has lost all faith in love. he picks up the porcelain mug to his right and downs the dark liquid; cold, just like his heart.Â
he should just leave. i mean itâs obvious at this point that heâs been stood up so he should just head home where the teasing and nagging from jake that will bruise his ego even more is iminent. there comes a time in life where one must accept defeat and move on with-
âwould you like a top up, sir?â
a sudden interjection from a saccharine voice to his left is what pulls him out of his trance of self pity. woah, hello you.Â
itâs been a long time since heâs been rendered speechless, but you do that to him. you, looking like someone who should be on the cover of a magazine as opposed to serving coffee in a diner. a white button down hugs your torso in all the right ways and heâs envious of the red apron thatâs tightly wrapped around your waist because that should be him. the blue ballpoint pen tucked behind your ear somehow makes you 10x more attractive and he can feel his throat close up at the sight of you.Â
your skin looks smooth and your lips look plump and thank fuck jessica bailed on him because now all he can think about is bending you over this very table and fucking you raw. top up? more like top me, please!
the glint of the gold name tag pinned onto your shirt catches his eye and he reads it: y/n. pretty.
he notices your eyes shifting around anxiously and reality comes crashing down on him. stop drooling over her tits and answer the question you perv. focus!
âi u-uhhh yes, uh yes please thatâd be great,â he stutters out embarrassingly, prompting you to bend over and refill his mug with steaming hot coffee from a pot that you hold with a perfectly manicured hand.Â
âcan i get you anything else while youâŠâ your eyes dart to the empty seat across from where heâs seated, âwait?â
god this is so embarrassing. now the cute waitress thinks heâs a fucking loser who got stood up (that is exactly what happened). could this day get any worse? he was just about to leave, spare himself from more agony when you waltzed into his life and made his brain a complicated, frazzled mess.Â
âuhmm no thatâs ok,â heâs trying very hard not to trip over the simplest of words, âjust the bill would be great.â
you nod, about to turn around and head over to the register when jay speaks up again in an attempt to preserve his image.Â
âit was supposed to be a-a work meeting,â he starts while motioning to the still empty spot across from him, âbut my uhâŠ.. business partner⊠couldnât make it, so..â
heâs lying. you know heâs lying. someone waiting for their âbusiness partnerâ to show up wouldnât be checking their phone every 1-3 minutes while intermittently wiping their clammy palms on their slacks every time the doorbell jingles and a new customer enters.
but he doesnât need to know that, so you paint on an understanding smile before heading over to the diner counter, sparing him one final glance over your shoulder.
itâs a sad sight to see; a handsome boy patiently waiting for someone whoâs clearly not going to show up. so you bring him a slice of red velvet cake dolled up with cream cheese icing and waive the two cups of coffee that were tacked onto his bill for the evening.
âitâs on the house,â you practically whisper into his ear while placing a comforting hand on his sturdy shoulder.
âoh!â his voice cracks, ât-thank you so much i-â he calls, but youâre already walking away to assist another table.
his hand instinctively reaches to where yours was placed on his shoulder only moments ago. he could sense the warmth radiating from your palm, feel the stray hairs of your bangs tickle his ear, smell the artificial strawberry scent of your lip gloss.Â
either someone decided to crank the heat up in the diner or heâs becoming extremely flustered (itâs the second one). he scoffs down the cake you left him with flushed cheeks and tight pants, visions of himself prying your legs open and indulging in something sweeter plaguing his mind.Â
with a hefty sigh he throws on his coat before making his way out of the diner and into his car thatâs parked right out front. from behind his windshield he watches as you greet a group of other customers before turning his keys in the ignition and peeling out of the parking lot.
he doesnât even make it home before heâs pulling into an empty parking lot and jerking himself to the thought of you and your work uniform and your glossed lips.
covet. desire. yearn for. crave.
all very real tertiary emotions that park jay would use to describe his current feelings towards you - a server who he spoke to for two minutes max and now canât seem to move on from.
unsurprisingly, jake teased the fuck out of him for getting stood up in the way that friends do. but he doesnât know that jay views his failed date as a complete success.Â
albeit he is still mildly salty over the fact that he got stood up, all negativity is washed from his brain the moment he pulls into the familiar parking lot in front of the familiar diner and he feels the familiar pitter patter of his heart quickening its pace from behind his ribcage.Â
he tried to hold off on returning the literal day after he was just there, he really did, but he simply couldnât bear it. the urge to see you, to observe you interacting with other patrons to know if youâre nice to everyone or if he got special treatment is too strong to ignore. itâs for science! he assures himself.
the dulcet jingle of the bell as he opens the door to the diner rings in his ears, and he waits to be seated. the hostess that shows him to a booth similar to the one he was in yesterday is pretty, but sheâs not you. only then does jay realize that the possibility of you not having been scheduled to work today is very real. this is only worsened by the fact that he decided to come in the late morning today as opposed to the evening like yesterday. stupid, stupid, stupid!!!
while feeling like a complete and utter idiot he decides to get to work, whipping out his journal, writing utensils and laptop for the sake of not looking like a weirdo. what kind of person goes to a diner and justâŠ. sits there. heâs gotta keep up a facade.Â
things are starting to look grim for jay as he sits and works and waits for the object of his desire to appear in front of him. while the retro cat clock on the wall continues its relentless ticking he attempts to swallow down his dismay.Â
alas, the universe must be on his side after all for soon enough he catches a glimpse of you through his peripherals. yes! you seem to be a little frazzled, gnawing on the inside of your cheek before grabbing a mop to clean up the chocolate milk that a toddler has decided to decorate the floor with; your shift must have just started.Â
he keeps his head hung low while intermittently scribbling in his journal or scrolling on his laptop, opting to steal an occasional glance as you assist a plethora of other patrons. the coffee he was served upon his arrival is starting to go tepid, much like yesterday, and heâs practically praying youâll soon stride over and ask if he needs a top up.Â
âmore coffeeâŠâ you pause briefly, âjay?â
hold up, howâd you learn his name?Â
his brow quirks upwards in confusion and with your hand - the one thatâs not holding a boiling pot of coffee - you point to his leather bound journal thatâs splayed across the table, opened to the first page. property of park jay is scrawled across the top in his sloppy handwriting akin to that of a first graders. heâs surprised you can even distinguish what it says to be completely honest.Â
âahhh,â he remarks in understanding, smiling ever so slightly because hey, now you know each others names. thatâs a step in the right direction.
âwere you looking to order something? you know, other than black coffee.â
as if on cue his stomach growls (luckily quietly enough for you to not pick up on it) and he fumbles for the plastic covered menu to his right that slips and slides in his sweaty grasp.Â
âi would love to but uhh, iâm not sure what iâm in the mood for⊠what do you recommend?â
you roll his question around in your head for a moment, âwere you thinking sweet or savoury? or if you want both, we make a pretty mean monte cristo.â
at this point if you told jay to walk off a cliff he would do it, so he orders your recommendation without hesitation.
âgood call,â you purr before waltzing away from his booth and into the kitchen, leaving jay to erupt in a fit of goosebumps on his own.Â
while he waits he busies himself with reading an article on his laptop, getting halfway through before realizing he hasnât actually been taking any information in the entire time. but can you blame him? his brain is⊠preoccupied with other thoughts.Â
soon enough youâre striding back over to where heâs seated, placing a steaming monte cristo with so much confectioner's sugar on top it looks as if thereâs been a mini avalanche in front of him. he thanks you and is about to dig in before he realizes you arenât leaving.Â
âis your business partner coming today?â
âŠwhat?
âmy business partner? i donât- OH! fuck, uh y-yes my business partner right! uh no, no heâs not coming today. i usually come here to work on my own though.â
for a moment he forgot about the blatant lie he spilled to you the last time he was here to save face, but he thinks he saved himself with that last bit.Â
a playful yet triumphant smirk makes its way onto your face, âthatâs funny, iâve never seen you here before yesterday.â
his eyes widen and his palms become impossibly sweaty. caught in a lie, great.
before he can come up with a witty response you just shoot him a knowing look as you walk away from the booth heâs seated in, your strawberry body spray wafting behind you and infiltrating his senses, rendering him immobile.Â
ugh how you make his teeth ache! he longs to douse you in syrup and powdered sugar, drag his hot tongue across your skin as you squirm and twist in pleasure underneath him. heâs sure youâd be sweet enough to give him a cavity. he finishes his monte cristo with gusto and attempts to do more work on his laptop but finds his brain to be far too frazzled to do so.
when he decides to call it quits, he leaves you a hefty tip before driving home with the taste of sugar coating his lips and the inside of his mouth.
over the span of a few weeks the two of you become accustomed to a game similar to the likes of cat and mouse.
he shows up to the diner in the late morning/early afternoon and prays that youâre scheduled for a shift; you usually are. through the course of a few hours jay manages to get minimal amounts of work done while you check on him occasionally, offering your opinions on different menu items and then placing a hand on his shoulder with a laugh when he trips over his words.Â
heâs sure you can sense the tension as well, but in case you canât he keeps his thoughts to himself. you could just be doing your job for all he knows.Â
nevertheless, it feels as if all aspects of jayâs life now revolve around you. when he falls asleep at night youâre the last thing on his mind and when he wakes up youâre the first. when he gets himself off he has to think of you or else he wonât feel satisfied, and he can only hope and pray that one day heâll be able to feel your body against his, the warmth radiating from your body making him feel like a cake in an oven.Â
sure heâd love to take you out, shower you with gifts and spoil you by taking you to expensive places that would surely break the bank, but he just canât seem to push away all of the hardly appropriate thoughts and feelings he harbours towards you. itâs becoming quite an issue, honestly.
he thinks of popping the buttons on your blouse open one by one before diving in, scattering bite marks and bruises across your tits and neck and collarbones as you writhe and plead underneath him. i need more jay, please give it to meâŠ
god you would sound so perfect.
his fantasies donât stop there though; they never do. he canât help himself from imagining what it'd be like to reach up your skirt and peel your panties down your legs as if theyâre strands of red licorice. heâd go so slow, taunting and teasing you before slipping himself inside of you and feeling your cunt suck him in as if you crave him like oxygen.Â
you smell of strawberries and heâs sure you taste like them too. the stripper red polish on your nails would pair so well with the scratches heâs sure youâd leave across the expanse of his back and shoulders. he longs to dig his teeth into your plush thighs like theyâre mochi, snapping a picture of his bite mark embedded in your perfect skin to save for later use.Â
down bad is an understatement when it comes to jayâs desire for you. infatuation is more like it.
today starts off like every other day. the smell of burnt coffee is what pulls him from his slumbers, and the clock on his bedside table tells him he managed to sleep in until one in the afternoon. when he trudges into the kitchen he sees his roommate and friend jake, who likely also just woke up and still doesnât understand how to properly operate a coffee machine, staring at his phone.Â
itâs then that jake reminds him of the plans they made to spend the afternoon at their friends house playing video games before grabbing takeout for dinner. jay curses his past self for agreeing to these dumb plans with his dumb friends since he was planning on heading to the diner today to marvel at his favourite waitress! oh well, he can still head over for an hour and a half at most before he has to return and uphold the prior promise he made.Â
he turns down jakeâs offer of a cup of coffee and, after a quick shower, heâs flying out the door.
when he finally makes it to the place where he spends most of his days now he doesnât even wait to be seated, just slips into the same booth as always and waits for you. the little ritual the two of you have fallen into now so ingrained into his brain he canât imagine straying from it. alas, itâs decently busy today so he busies himself by scrolling through his instagram feed while waiting for you to grace him with your presence.
when you finally appear in front of him you donât say anything, just shoot him your usual friendly smile while precariously placing a napkin and mug of black coffee in front of him before leaving as quickly as you came. this sends jay into an emotional spiral. oh god, did i do something wrong? he ponders to himself, brows furrowed as he tries to remember everything he said to you during your last interaction that could have potentially been misconstrued.
only then does he notice the blue ink poking out from the napkin tucked underneath his steaming mug of coffee. with shaky hands he pulls it out and reads the short message written in your refined penmanship:
my shift is done at 10:00 pm.
wait for me? :)
y/n
and just below your neat scrawl he can make out a sticky lip gloss print, a faint hint of the fake strawberry scent that plagues his mind day and night still lingering.Â
in this moment he should be happy, ecstatic, victorious even! his constant and obsequious devotion to you has not gone unnoticed, and at long last heâll be alone with you in a place that doesnât have checkered tile floors and posters of pin ups on every square inch of the teal coloured walls. but no, all he feels is embarrassment.
embarrassment because he was too much of a wiener to actually do something so you felt the need to take matters into your own hands. and embarrassment because your little napkin love letter signed off with your glossy kiss is making him excruciatingly horny. itâs like heâs in highschool all over again - yikes.Â
he glances at the face of the silver watch that he scarcely takes off, the leather wrist strap now feeling uncomfortably tight considering his recent spike in blood pressure. with some reluctance he decides to leave early, tucking your napkin note into his pocket before driving home while barely focusing on the road and cars in front of him.
the hangout with jake and the rest of his friends is excruciating as expected. time seems to both fly by and drag on simultaneously, and he watches the hands on his watch tick down the hours, minutes, seconds until he can finally be with you - alone. when jake finally throws the towel in jay all but runs out of the door, speeding down the now far emptier city streets before pulling into the dining parking lot and waiting (heâs 23 minutes early).
with every passing minute his heart rate quickens and, when the time reads 10:06 pm, he thinks heâs going to faint when he sees you exit your place of work and scan the parking lot briefly before making your way over to his car. the sound of his passenger side door opening feels far off as he tries to make sense of the fact that you are about to be in his car, right beside him. what the fuck.
âhi.â
âhi.â
âi like your car.â
âoh, you do?â
âyep. it suits you.â
âreally?â
you only nod at this, flashing him a subtle grin before flipping down the sun visor in front of you to tidy up your appearance after a long and tiring shift (he still thinks you look pretty). it feels as if his fingers arenât his own as he fiddles with the radio while gazing at you through his peripherals, watching as you rub the smudged mascara from underneath your eyes before applying a final coat of the lip gloss that he loves oh so much. how on earth is he going to last longer than 5 minutes without falling at your feet?
âsooo what do you wanna do?â jay questions, unsure if his eagerness to hear your response is because heâs genuinely curious or because he just likes the sound of your voice.
âyou choose, take me anywhere,â you offer with a smile, âsurprise me!â
âokay!â he responds, narrowly escaping a voice crack as he shifts his car into reverse.. he has just the place in mind.Â
the drive is somewhat of a lengthy one, although you donât seem to mind. itâs warm enough to have the windows down, and jay greedily gulps down deep breaths of the fresh night air. from your spot in the passenger seat you ramble about your day at the diner, complaining about an old man who held the ketchup bottle the wrong way and promptly squirted it all over you when you came to ask how he was doing. despite all, you still manage to have a positive attitude.Â
soon enough heâs pulling off of the main road into an opening surrounded by woods, killing the engine and the car lights and opting to bask in the natural glow of the night sky.Â
âwow jay, way to be subtle.â
âwhat!!?â
âwhat do you mean what? you bring me to the cityâs unofficial official makeout spot and expect me to not be skeptical?â
fuck. for the entirety of the drive over he was hoping that you wouldnât know about the promiscuous reputation this spot has garnered over the years. he canât give up this quickly though, he must play innocent!
âi- woahh, is that what this place is? i genuinely had no idea i just-â
âshut it jay, the first thing i noticed about you was that youâre a terrible liar.â
youâve got him there, deception is not his strong suit. heâs about to explain himself when he notices you unbuckling your seatbelt and stepping out of his car, prompting him to do the same.
âi just thought it would be a nice, secluded space where we could talk and hang out⊠nothing more.â
silence settles over the two of you and, upon noting jayâs queasy expression, you decide to indulge yourself and tease him (just a little bit).
âwhat are you trying to say?â you bat your eyelashes and fake being in thought, âthat you donât wanna fuck me on the hood of your car?â
he chokes on his saliva.Â
âw-what iâm trying to say is that iâm a uhhhh gentleman. iâm a gentleman.â
yeah right, you think to yourself. a gentleman and a major fucking hypocrite.Â
âokay jay, if youâre such a gentleman then why do you have a raging hard-on from literally just talking to me?â
in the pale moonlight you see his eyes widen before he scrambles to cover his crotch, not doing much to conceal his erection thatâs straining against his slacks.Â
âoh god iâm so sorry i can explain uhh-â
âiâm just fucking with you,â you taunt before petting his hair affectionately, attempting to quieten your giggles while jay plasters on a fake smile even though he looks like heâs about to puke. in an attempt to garner the little composure he has left he turns away from you, the cool night air soothing his heated cheeks.Â
from where heâs standing heâs granted an overarching view of the city he calls home. against the nighttime sky he can decipher the suburbs, the downtown area, the cafe district. upon each building thereâs a small rectangle filled with yellow or white light, windows in which individual people are carrying out their individual lives; it makes everything seem so⊠miniscule. i mean, aside from you, nobody even knows heâs up here - and heâs still trying to decipher if thatâs a good thing or not, seeing as tonight all heâs done is embarrass himself.Â
when he looks back youâre leaning against the hood of his car, your arms folded across your chest which sequentially shoves your tits together in a way that makes him wanna plunge his face in between them and give you a good old fashioned motorboat.Â
his thoughts are cut off when you speak up.
 âi brought you something,â you announce before turning and opening the passenger side door of jayâs car, trifling around in your before before pulling something out and heading back to where you were standing before, leaning against the hood of his car. in your hands is a toppled over piece of red velvet cake protected by a clear plastic takeout container coupled with two disposable forks.Â
âsorry itâs kinda smushedâŠ. i forgot about it.â
âno, thatâs ok!â jay thinks you shouldnât have to apologize for anything ever, âthank you.â
with a crisp pop you open up the container, moving it to sit in between the two of you before passing jay one of the flimsy plastic forks. he lets you take the first bite, stating that after a long shift you need to get your blood sugar back up. you laugh before complying, watching as jay takes a bite right after you do, his eyes rolling back as all of the sweet, rich flavours dance across his taste buds. despite the piece of cake not being in the best condition, it still tastes like heaven.
jayâs caught off guard when your hand suddenly swoops in just as heâs about to spear another piece of cake with his fork, collecting a dollop of icing on one of your nails. he shouldâve seen it coming when you reach up and wipe it on the tip of his nose with a playful laugh.
âwow y/n, so original,â he sneers while wiping the cream cheese icing on his nose onto the back of his hand.Â
he attempts to do the same to you, dipping his finger in the thick frosting before moving to wipe it on the tip of your nose, but you suddenly latch onto his wrist. he watches with hungry eyes and an erratic pulse as your tongue comes in contact with his knuckle, licking all the way up to his icing-coated fingertip before taking his digit inside your mouth. the thick muscle of your tongue wraps around his finger, sucking away the sweetness before you pull yourself off of him. a faint pink ring of lip gloss on the base of his knuckle now present.Â
fuck me.
not a single word is exchanged before jay pushes himself onto you, prompting you to lean back against the hood of his car thatâs still slightly warm. with your body weight resting on your elbows and your legs spreading to accommodate jayâs torso, you finally let him taste you.Â
your lips are soft and warm like a pastry fresh out of the oven, and when he pulls away he heaves a heavenly sigh filled with pleasure and contentment and thank fuck this is finally happening. itâs not long before youâre pressing your lips to jayâs again, one of your hands moving up to caress the shell of his ear before resting against his face.
you can feel his jaw move against your palm when he opens his mouth and drags his tongue across your sugar coated lips, inducing you to do the same. when his tongue pushes past your teeth and brushes against yours you groan in pleasure, the fingers previously gracing his face dipping down to undo several buttons of your work shirt. with his lips against yours and his tongue down your throat you can feel him giving into you, as if youâre a delectable piece of his favourite candy and he has a raging sweet tooth.Â
when jay pulls himself off of you you think you might just cry. luckily you donât go without his touch for long, for when you open your eyes you watch him dip two fingers into the frosting on top of the forgotten slice of cake before smearing it across the exposed flesh of your tits and down your sternum. he promptly shoves the two frosting coating fingers into your gaping mouth, gazing at you with heart eyes as you suck them clean.Â
only then does he dip his head down, the tip of his tongue teasing the sensitive skin of your right breast before licking the stripe of icing off with one broad swipe of his tongue. he gives your other breast the same treatment before giving it teasing nips and kisses, using his tongue to soothe the pinch of his canines.Â
once he licks the rest of the frosting from your sternum he continues his descent, not stopping until the insides of your thighs are brushing against his pierced ears. in one swift movement he flips your skirt upwards, your pretty panties with a subtle wet patch now on display for him and only him.
not being able to resist seeing your bare cunt in all of its glory, jay eagerly digs two fingers into the waistband before dragging the fabric down your legs. your lacy pink thong gets all twisted and tangled around your ankles as jay struggles to pull it off, eventually managing to get it around your sneakers before tucking it into his pocket for safe keeping.Â
he feels his pants grow impossibly tights as he stares at you on the hood of your car with your legs spread, quite literally something that couldâve been torn right out of a playboy. without missing a beat jay dives into you, flattening his thick tongue and licking you like he would a dripping ice cream cone. it catches you by surprise and you instinctively tangle your fingers in his ebony tresses, a needy moan making its way past your lips and into the air. jay uses the tip of his tongue to explore your needy pussy, lapping up your juices and revelling in the taste on his tongue. i could die like this he thinks, and he digs his blunt nails into your thighs while shoving his head impossibly deeper.Â
itâs somewhat sloppy, but what he lacks in technique he makes up for in enthusiasm. it feels like heâs practically making out with your cunt and you canât help yourself from tugging on his hair in approval. the groans he emits in response have you shuddering, the vibrations causing your legs to shake and tremble as you struggle to keep them pried open. in your lower abdomen you can feel the pressure of an impending orgasm begin to brew.
this sensation only doubles when jay shifts his focus to your clit, sucking on and toying with it like itâs a sugar-covered gumdrop. his actions have you arching your back off of the hood of his car, eyes squeezing shut as you cry and plead, âp-please donât stop jay⊠never stop.â
your pleas boost jayâs ego to the max and he eats you out with unrestrained passion, alternating between sucking your clit and tonguing your hole until you finish all over his mouth with a canorous cry that reverberates between his ears. he hopes to never forget that sound.
with reluctance he pulls himself off of your sweet pussy, having to push your legs apart slightly to free himself from the way they were clenching around his head. he stares at you in awe as you bask in the post-orgasm sensation, mouth agape and chest heaving faintly. your eyes, when you finally pry them open, are slightly glassy and it looks like it takes you a second to come back to earth.Â
your grip on jayâs hair loosened but you never fully let go, and soon enough he feels you tugging at his roots in an attempt to get him to hover over you once again. without hesitation you press your lips to his once again, tasting yourself in and on his mouth as you kiss him until you canât breathe.Â
his curious hands never stay resting in one spot on your body for longer than a second before heâs exploring somewhere else, his mouth making a path from your lips down to your jaw and neck. the tips of his fingers finally stop when they reach your hips, gripping onto your and flipping you over so your chest is against jayâs car and your ass is up in the air.Â
he canât help himself from ogling at your perfect form all splayed out for him. the curve of your ass is to die for and jay starts subconsciously unbuckling his belt, easing the strain of his pants against his painfully hard dick.Â
from your spot on top of the car you begin to grow impatient. your tits are smushed and your neck is craned and even though you just came youâre already ready for another one if it means you get to feel jay filling you up like a cream puff. luckily, you soon feel the tip of jayâs cock dragging through your folds, your still-sensitive clit throbbing slightly when he bumps into it. the sound of jay spitting into his palm joins that of the crickets and your erratic breathing, soon replaced by his sighs of delight as he strokes his cock with his spit covered hand to help lube it up.Â
you let out a breath you didnât know you were holding in when you finally feel him prod your entrance with his tip, although you can sense some hesitancy. itâs not surprising when the silence is broken by jay asking: â...are you ready?â
he feels his chest tighten when you make a noise of approval followed by a meek nod, your starry eyes glancing back at him as much as you can in this particular position. with a hefty exhale he nods back before slowly starting to sink into you, a low groan making its way out of his chest as he pushes deeper and deeper until his hips are flush with your ass.Â
once fully inside of you he remains stagnant for a moment, needing to adjust to how incredibly warm and tight you feel if he wants to last longer than three seconds. soon enough he feels heâs garnered enough collectedness to start moving, so he does.Â
his movements are small, almost timid at first. like heâs testing the waters, garnering enough confidence to go harder, faster. your hushed whimpers of pleasure ring in his ears and he teasingly rolls his hips in an attempt to have you feel him impossibly deeper inside of you.Â
âj-jay!â you cry when he seemingly bumps your g-spot with the tip of his cock, the muscles of your waist tensing up when he does. wanting to provide you as much pleasure as possible he continues his ministrations, not altering them in any way out of fear of doing something wrong.Â
jay feels his stomach start to seize up as a pleasurable burn takes hold in his lower stomach, his vision blurring slightly at the edges as he shifts between groaning aloud and biting his lip so hard heâs worried heâll break the skin and draw blood. with exercised caution he picks up the pace, ensuring that in this moment youâre still feeling as good as he is.Â
his cock slips in and out of your desperate, dripping hole with ease, your hips banging against the unyielding metal hood of his car with each and every thrust. itâs hardly comfortable, but at this moment in time you think youâd rather die than have jay stop - so you persevere.Â
âgod youâre so good jay, so fucking big,â you praise as you feel your second orgasm of the night approaching steadily. most of your limbs have started to go numb from the position youâre in yet you can feel each and every nerve end slowly begin to burn up, to bring you closer and closer to release. when jay reaches down to toy with your aching clit, youâre done for.Â
the slight ache from the way your cunt is stretched around his cock adds to the jolting sensations that come every time he bumps your clit has you so close, so close you can taste the sweet promise of an orgasm dancing on the tip of your tongue. jay feels it too, for he throws all inhibitions to the wind and fucks you from behind with no restraint.Â
he can feel his release creep up his spine and spread through all of his limbs until itâs all he can see, taste, and feel. groans continue to spill past his lips as white hot light floods his senses and a blinding orgasm washes over him, which is only strengthened by the sensation of your pussy clenching around his cock as you finish underneath him. he cums inside of your wanting cunt, filling it up to the brim before collapsing on top of you with a grunt.Â
seconds turn into minutes and the two of you remain in place, breaths and pulses struggling to return to normal as you come down from an intense high. jay can feel his shirt clinging to his sweaty back, and he scrambles off of you when he realizes he was quite literally resting all of his weight on you.
with a helping hand he helps you sit up, chuckling slightly when your knees turn to jello when you try to stand up. so, you opt to stay seated on the hood of jayâs car for just a few more moments, patting the spot beside you to get him to sit down. youâre sure you look like a mess, but jay gazes at you with something that can only be described as awe.
smitten. captivated. enraptured. allured.Â
the pale light of the moon casts a heavenly glow across your face, and he kisses your lips like theyâre covered in strawberry syrup.Â
a/n: tumblrâs editing system is the biggest piece of garbage i am so sorry if there are any weird glitches or anything but i am literally seconds away from whipping my laptop at the wall out of frustration as i edit this so pls lmk if anything looks weird when this posts lawl thank you
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Flicker in the Dark - Jacob Black/Reader
Fandom: Twilight Saga
Pairings: Jacob Black/Female Reader
Word Count: 12,598
Tags: 18+, NSFW, Pining, Unprotected sex, Slightly aged up (Jacob is 20), Fix it fic
Summary: My take on New Moon, if all of the characters were a bit more mature and Jacob got his girl.
A/N: This is a third-person story that pairs Jacob with a girl who isn't Bella but who fills her role in the story; Bella doesn't exist in this universe because I find she's not as interesting to write as an original character, for me personally. The character has no name and no physical description, so treat her as an OC or a "reader," your choice there. :)
Keep reading below or link to AO3!
Bringing the idea of fixing the bikes to Jacob was the best thing sheâs ever done: the best, and one of the dumbest, by far.Â
They both have adult obligations nowâshe has class, and a part-time job, which are thankfully both online, and Jake works full timeâso when the stars align and theyâre free at the same time, they spend every moment in his garage like a couple of bored kids. They listen to music on his dadâs old radio, eat pizza and tacos standing up much more often than they should; Jacob isnât twenty-one just yet, but theyâre on the rez, so they sip beers sometimes, especially on the rare warm days where the sun shines into the garage and sweat prickles at their hairlines.Â
Heâs taller at twenty than he was when he was younger, broader and more filled out, like heâd said back on her birthday; she notices, sometimes, things like the tightness of his t-shirts stretched across his back, the way his jeans fit just, extraordinarily well. Those kinds of things you canât help but notice, even if youâre emotionally, physically, and mentally unavailable, the way she is.Â
He pokes fun at her ageâforever a sore spot, especially when Edward is and will be twenty-two foreverâbut she catches him noticing her, too, sometimes, so sheâs not a total embarrassment at least.
It doesnât happen right away, like magic or anything, but hanging out in his garage does make her feel better; he makes her feel better, if sheâs being honest with herself. He quiets the chatter in her brain, the anxiety, the self-doubt, and she smiles more when sheâs with him, laughs more, gets out of her own head. Sheâs happier when sheâs with him, too, bikes or no bikesâthough the roar of the restored motorcycle engine certainly doesnât hurtâand heâs good for her, thereâs no denying that.
She remembers her dadâs advice, even more meaningful now that sheâs moved out of his house and living on her ownâsometimes, you gotta learn to love whatâs good for youâand she even thinks she could, some days.Â
Thatâs easy enough to say to herself, but so, so much harder in practice. She can tell Jacob is⊠interested, when they go to the movies, with the way he lays his hand on the armrest, palm up, in case she wants to hold it. Part of her wants to, really wants to; part just thinks about Edward and she clams up, canât do it. She feels guilty, like sheâs doing something wrong, even though he left her and not the other way around.Â
She still loves him, will always love him, but Edward made his choice; she just wishes she felt free enough to make her own.
She feels guilty when they ride, too, because the one thing heâd asked of her was not to be reckless, and now she goes out of her way to find a rush wherever she can. Anything legal, be it motorcycles, rock climbing, running, skydiving, really, really big roller coastersâyou name it, sheâs done it, and though none of it ever worked as well as sheâd hoped it would, she never stops trying.Â
She knows better than to give herself over to things like drugs or binge drinking or meaningless one-night stands, but aside from that the limits to what she will try are almost non-existent. She loves the thrill of it all, loves feeling brave, feeling strong; In the end, she may wind up with a few cuts and bruises, but as long as sheâs hurting no one but herself, she doesnât feel too bad.
When she hurts Jacob, she feels awful, terrible, and she does hurt himâheâs so hurt for a while that he doesnât want to see her, doesnât even return her calls. She feels weak for the first time in a long time, like if sheâd just been able to be what he wanted, to hold his hand, to kiss him, to get over herself, they both would have been happier. Now she just feels sad, and selfish, hurting the one person who has always been there for her, whoâs always eased her pain.
She wants to respect his space, canât bear the thought of hurting him more than she already has, but her anxiety gets the better of her; no amount of kickboxing or rock climbing has been able to take her mind off of him since that night at the movies, when he left in such a hurry. Even Edward has shifted to the back of her mind, though she has no idea when exactly that happened.
So she goes to him. Against his wishes. In the pouring rain.Â
Sheâs so, so stupid.
Heâs so, so shredded, even more so than usual; itâs the first thing she notices only because heâs soaking wet and shirtless and that makes it pretty obvious. The second thing she notices is his hair, no longer long and pulled back with a cord of leather, but cropped short, though inky black as always. The third thing she notices is the tattoo, a large, tribal design on his shoulder that looks well-healed even though she saw him less than a week ago.
She catalogs all of that, and then she remembers heâs avoiding her and that sheâs here to ask for forgiveness (sheâs willing to beg, but itâs sort of a last resort.)
She calls his name, but he doesnât turn around at first, not until sheâs right in front of him, fists balled angrily at her sides. Â
âJacob, Iâm sorry⊠Iâm sorry about the movie. Can we talk about it?â He huffs an unamused laugh, takes half a step closer; that kind of thing used to be playful, but now it seems almost menacing, between the muscles and the tattoo and the deepening frown on his face.Â
âThis isnât about that. Youâyou need to leave. Now.â The tone of his voice leaves no room for argument⊠but then again, thatâs never stopped her before. She steps closer too, more of a challenge than anything.
âWell if itâs not about that, what is it? What happened?â He turns away as if to leave and she reaches for him, fingers latching onto his wrist. She knows right away that when she tugs, and he turns, itâs because he let it happen; thereâs no way anyone could force him to do anything now, not with how big he is, how strong, how solid beneath her hand. âIs it Sam? Did he get to you too?âÂ
âI was wrong about Sam. Heâs helping me through itâjust like he helped the others,â he says, but it sounds odd to her ears. If something was wrong, if heâd needed help, he would have come to her⊠right? âI canât do this right nowâyou have to go. Please go.âÂ
Before, he was stern, but this time heâs pleading for her to leave, and thatâs just not Jacobâtheyâd hash it out before he cut her off without so much as a word, instead of ghosting her and making his father lie for him and keeping secrets with Sam Uley.
âJake,â she pleads too, but instead of tightening her grip on his wrist she brings her hand up to the nape of his neck, to brush through the short hair that lays there, drenched in rainwater. âPlease donât do this to me.âÂ
He closes his eyes like it pains him, and it very well might; she knows the similarities to the night Edward left are becoming almost too much for her to bear.Â
Maybe thatâs why she came here, after all, because she could, because at least she still knew where she could find him. Because even if he didnât want to talk to her, at least sheâd know he was okay.Â
âIâm not doing this to you, Iâm doing it for you. Iâm not who you thought I was, Iâm not good for you. You canât be around me anymore.âÂ
Fuck that, she thinks immediately, because she is so absolutely tired of people telling her what she can and canât do, what sheâs strong enough for, whatâs safe.Â
She doesnât want safe. All she wants is Jacob.Â
âI decide whatâs good for me; I decide,â she says, voice raised and rough, jabbing a finger in his direction, and he grabs both of her forearms and holds them between them. He looks like he wants to shake her, heâs so frustrated, but his grip isnât tight. âYou think youâre going to hurt me, or something? Because look at us, Jake.â Her gaze moves to his hands on her, holding her still but doing it gently, carefully. âItâs okay. You wonât hurt me, I know it.âÂ
He drops her arms like sheâs burned him, like he didnât even realize he was holding them, and takes two steps back, away from her.
âYouâre right, I wonâtâbecause you canât ever come here again.âÂ
He turns and runs to Sam and the other guys, leaving her standing in the rain, soaked and alone, her stomach in knots. The chatter is back, the self-doubt, louder than ever now; if they could both do this, both leave her so easily, would she ever be enough for anyone?
Sheâs not sitting around her house moping about this, not again. She did that with Edward and it got her absolutely nowhere, so this time she resolves to just skip to the front of the line. She packs a bag for the trail and goes hiking, plans to take a long path deep into the woods, away from the bear attacks or whateverâs going on out there. Her dad would have her head if she walked headfirst into danger, and she knows better, anyway, isnât going to actually risk her life just to get Rocky Mountain high.Â
She hadnât planned on risking her life, anyway, but how was she to know the formerly peaceful Laurent was back in Forks, red eyes and all, and that he was working with Victoria? That wasnât on her supernatural drama bingo card, thatâs for damn sure.Â
She listens to him do the villain rambling for a moment, but irritation wins out over fear and she loses her temper, slips up and says that Edward is gone and heâs not coming back, and if he wants to kill her, well no oneâs stopping him!Â
He looks amused by her outburst, but the smile melts off of his face when an enormous black wolf steps out of the trees, followed by several others of all shades, shapes, sizes. She doesnât get a chance to count them, just runs like hell in the other direction, but when she risks a look back they are going after Laurent with a precision she wouldnât expect from wild animals just looking for dinner.Â
She tells no one about the wolvesâwho would believe her anyway?âjust runs back to her truck until sheâs breathless, goes home and takes a steaming hot shower to rinse away the cold clamminess of his touch. She makes a cup of tea and changes into a t-shirt, a pair of shorts, then parks herself on the couch with her laptop for the rest of the night.Â
Until the knock at the door that comes around 1 AM.Â
Itâs Jacob, and sheâs so happy to see him that she forgets all about her day up until that point and wraps her arms around him, hugs him where he stands in the doorway. He hugs back, thank god, his embrace tight and warm and comforting, and then she ushers him in, offers to make more tea while they talk.Â
âAbout the other day,â she begins, filling the electric kettle with water and plugging it in, but he cuts her off, panicked.Â
âI wish I could explain,â he says, and heâs almost got those puppy dog eyes that always get him his way; he doesnât even do it on purpose, just looks like that, and itâs incredibly hard to resist. âBut I literally canât.âÂ
âNo, I know, I⊠I mean, I think I know.â She has a box of tea in her hand and sheâs gesturing a bit wildly with it, so she sets it on the counter, walks closer to him, so thereâs about a foot of space between them. âFirst rule of fight club is you canât talk about fight clubâwait, itâs not an actual fight club, right? Because youâd dominate.âÂ
He laughs, a real one, with his head thrown back, and she all but grins. There he is. Her Jacob.Â
âNo, itâs not a fight club, but youâre right. I canât talk about it, I canât tell you anything.â His tone of voice hurts her, because itâs clear this is something he wants, needs to share; she moves closer, eyes on his.
âAnd what if I guess? Is that against the rules?â He shakes his head fervently, rests his palm on the counter beside him.
âNo, noâin fact, thatâs exactly what I need you to do. Sam canât stop you, and I know you, youâre smart, wonât stop until you figure it out.â He reaches out with his other hand, tentatively, and links their fingers together like he did at the movies; when he brings their hands up to his chest, this time, she doesnât pull away. âIt would be so much easier if you knew.â
His face is so soft but so serious, his brow furrowed, and she squeezes his hand.
âIâm going to feel really silly if Iâm wrong, but I donât think I am. Iâve been working on it all night.â With her free hand, she pulls her phone out of her pocket, shows him the same screen she has up on her laptop in the other room. Itâs a list of all the facts she has, her own speculation, and finally, in size 42 font, one very important eight-letter word. âYou said before that Sam was collecting disciplesâa pack of them, Jacob, right?âÂ
âYes. Fuck,â he breathes, and though sheâs heard him say it in the garage many times, this one is special because it means sheâs right. He slides down to a seat on the tile floor, looks so relieved it makes her chest feel tight, and she kneels in front of him, hands on his bare shoulders.Â
âYouâre a werewolf, Jake, just like the legendâyour tribe is descended from wolves. Tell me Iâm wrong.âÂ
He doesnât say a word, and at first sheâs afraid she is incorrect, but then he reaches out and pulls her close, crushes her to his body. He breathes hard into her hair, holds her tightly, and she canât help it, she cries, hot tears leaving tracks down her cheeks.
He brings his hands there after a moment, wipes the tears away with his thumbs, then holds her face like sheâs something precious, lips turning up into a half-smile.
âThank you. I knew you could do it.â He tips forward, presses their foreheads together, moves his hands to her waist. âYou donât know how badly I wanted you to know.â
âOh, Jake. Iâm sorryâI should have caught on faster. Itâs obvious, when you put everything together, when you⊠You know. When youâve seen what Iâve seen.â He nods his head and swallows, presses his fingertips into her side. She shifts closer, or he does, maybe they both do, so their breath mixes between them, soft and warm.
âItâs okay, youâre here now. Youâre here, it's okay,â he repeats, and she pushes fingers through his hair, softer now that itâs dry.Â
âIâm here, and I donât have to stay away.â
They donât quite kiss, because sheâs still nervous, maybe even more so nowâthey were so close to being separated, and now that heâs back in her life, in her house, she doesnât want to risk breaking this delicate, fragile thing between them. His mouth just brushes over hers, more a swipe than a press of lips, and she turns her head so the rest of it catches her cheek instead.Â
He sighs, but heâs not upset, and he lifts a hand to smooth through her hair before dropping it altogether.Â
âI should go,â he says, but she canât bear the thought of losing him again already. She stands when he does, takes his hand the way he did before.Â
âCan you stay the night? Please?â She squeezes his fingers, tries her hand at her own version of those sad puppy eyes. âI understand if you canât, but Iâd feel⊠I want you to,â sheâs clear to say, and eventually, he nods.Â
She makes up a bed for him on the sofa, intends to head upstairs when heâs comfortable; she doesnât know what stops her, but she stretches out on the other end of the couch instead and they put on a movie, something black and white, volume low. She couldnât say for sure whoâs the first to fall asleep.
Sheâs the first to wake up, so she takes a quick shower, does some work, brews some coffee. Heâll probably head out the moment his feet hit the floor, so she prepares herself for thatâshe just hopes that the rest of his pack knows heâs there, that they arenât worried, or frantically searching the preserve for signs of him like she would be.Â
She asks him that when he pads into the kitchen an hour later, eyes sleepy, bedhead evident, and he pours a cup of coffee and sits across from her at the table.Â
âNah, they knew I was coming,â he assures with a sip. âThey know by now that if they canât find me, Iâm probably here with you.â That makes her smile, though she looks down into her mug and tries not to show it. He takes a few more quick gulps despite the temperature and sets down his empty cup with a smack of his lips. âSpeaking of the pack, I think you should meet them. We gather at Emilyâsâthatâs Samâs fianceeâsometimes, and theyâll be there today.â
âWill they be angry that I figured it out?â she asks, genuinely curious. She wants to meet them, wants to know more about the group of guys Jacob is now supernaturally entangled with, but sheâs not so sure a house of angry werewolves is somewhere sheâs ready to be so soon after her last brush with death. He breathes a laugh and shakes his head.Â
âThey wonât be angry. Theyâll probably be irritated with me, because I couldnât just let you goâŠâ Their eyes meet, and she thinks of reaching out to touch his hand across the table, though she doesnât in the end. âBut as for you, theyâll probably just be impressed.â
The pack is both impressed by her and slightly irritated with Jacob, but stern glances and eye rolls quickly turn to laughter and playful shoving, as they pile into Emilyâs small but cozy kitchen and make introductions around a batch of fresh muffins.
She gets official confirmation on things sheâd only read aboutâlike their ability to hear each otherâs thoughts when shifted, the accelerated healing, their speed, their powerâright from the wolves' mouths, and they learn from her too, everything she knows about vampires like Laurent and Victoria. She doesnât talk much about the Cullens, mostly because their secrets are not hers to tell, but she can see Jacobâs brain working as she mentions Victoriaâs vendetta, as she shows the group the pale, silvery bite mark on her arm.Â
âIf sheâs here, sheâs here for me,â she tells them, and Jake tenses, his jaw tight, veins visible, shoots Sam a look that conveys they have a lot to talk about when sheâs not around.Â
Later, she suggests to Jacob that he take a walk with her, because she can tell how all of those stories have put him on edge. Together they amble slowly toward the beach, close but not touching, and this time she does take his hand, leans in so their forearms brush.Â
âItâll be okay,â she murmurs, tilting her head to look up at him. âYou guys are strong, fast. You took down LaurentâI have no doubts youâll get her too.âÂ
âBefore she hurts you?â he says, staring ahead, voice rough because heâs been mostly silent all day, listening closely to her and taking everything in. âBecause if she doesâŠâÂ
âShe wonât. The others are watching her,â she says, hoping like hell thatâs still true, âand even if she finds me⊠I trust you to protect me.â He stops there, on the wet sand, and she turns toward him so she can see his expression, to get a better idea of whatâs on his mind.Â
âIf they come back, Iâm not allowed to fight on their landâIâd be breaking the treaty,â he says with a pained look. She understands the words heâs not saying: if they come back, I wouldnât be able to protect you in your own home.
âTheyâre not coming back,â she whispers, because she canât say the words any louder than that, even though theyâre true. âHe made his choice, and thatâsâthatâs okay.âÂ
âIs it?â Jacob asks, leaning in, and she gets it, gets why; she hasnât exactly been positive about Edwardâs departure, how his choice affected her, took his family away from her too, and now suddenly sheâs okay with it?
It isnât sudden, though, not really. Itâs been a gradual acceptance, something sheâs been coming to terms with since the day he left. She knows Edwardâs decision wasnât made easily; she knows he didnât leave because he didnât love her, but because he loved her so much he put aside his feelings for her and did what he thought was right.Â
He went about it all the wrong way, removing every trace of himself from her life, banning his family from communicating with her, taking her choices away, but in the end his heart was in the right place, and sheâs found a way to respect that, despite everything.Â
Maybe itâs just Jacob. He brought her out of her post-breakup shell, made her smile again, laugh again, feel important and wanted and cared for. Maybe he filled in the cracks of her broken heart so she could use it again, without the need for exhilaration and adrenaline to cover up the pain of what sheâs lost; maybe itâs just Jacob, bright like the sun they so seldom see, special and rare and wild.Â
âItâs okay,â she assures him, voice steady with her conviction. She raises their conjoined hands and presses her lips to his knuckles, just briefly, before dropping them back to her side.Â
Jake nods, accepts her answer, and they walk further along the beach until the sun goes down in a hazy blend of blue and orange and red.
He offers to drive her home, and even though itâs impractical, and sheâd usually put up a fight, she wants that extra time with him. Wants to be that close to him. She sits in the middle of the bench seat, neither up against him nor really on the passengerâs side, but close enough for Jake to throw an arm across her shoulders, and they listen to the radio and talk about his pack while cruising down the road.Â
âI better go,â he murmurs before she can even unlock her front door, and she tries not to let her face fall; sheâd been hoping heâd stay over again, or come inside for a little bit, at least.Â
She must fail at controlling her expression, because Jacob smiles softly, like heâs pleased with himself, and leans in, brushing his fingers over the line of her jaw.Â
âWeâre patrolling tonightâgot a vampire to kill. But Iâll call you tomorrow?âÂ
She nods beneath his touch, and he pulls back and turns to leave, jogging down the street and toward the forest thatâll lead him back to La Push.
He does call the next day, but itâs brief; Victoriaâs back, just as Sam expected, so theyâre running all night, all day, trying to catch her off guard, taking breaks only to eat and sleep when they absolutely have to. Jacob promises to check in when he can, but after three days with no contactâand a voicemail from her father about locals spotting wolves in the woodsâsheâs on edge again, less concerned for her own safety, more worried about Jakeâs.Â
Sheâs an absolute idiot for doing itâgoing to the beach, to the tall cliffs that loom over itâbut she needs the rush again, doesnât feel right when itâs just her own troubled voice in her head. She needs to hear the purr of an engine, the hum of a plane, the crashing of pure, white water against rocks⊠or maybe Jacobâs heartbeat. But the cliffs are the simple option at the moment, and all she can think about until sheâs actually there, looking out over the ocean, the gritty scents of sand and salt in her nose.Â
She takes several deep, long breaths. Thatâs the key to these things that bring her so much excitementâusing all of her senses, so sheâs not just herself but everything around her too. She needs to see the sun on the horizon, taste the spray of seawater and clean, crisp air. She needs to smell the damp earth, touch the frothy bubbles that lap at the shore, hearâŠ
She hears a wolf, actually, howling solemnly in the distance, but doesnât register the sound until after sheâs already jumped.Â
The waves are choppier than theyâd appeared when she was looking down at them, and it knocks the breath out of her lungs when they crash into her body, pulling her down into the dark vastness of the icy sea. Her arms and legs move instinctively, fighting to bring her back to the surface, but the water is deep and heavy and sheâs already so tired of trying.Â
Sheâs so cold all she can feel is cold, her teeth chattering, so even when she hits her head on a boulder and it starts to bleed, she doesnât realize whatâs happened until everything turns black.
Sheâs warmer, suddenly, thatâs all she knows, though the ground beneath her back is rocky and wet, uncomfortable. She thinks maybe itâs a blanket that feels so warm, but quickly realizes itâs Jacob above her, soaked to his bones, a sigh of relief passing his lips.Â
âOh thank god. Can you hear me?â He cradles the back of her head in his palm and helps her sit up, then presses his fingers tenderly to the sore bump beneath her hair. âYour headâs not that bad, but I bet it hurts.âÂ
âHmm. Hurts,â she mumbles, her throat raw, temples throbbing. Sheâs cold and tired and thirsty, but ashamed above all else; maybe she really does need someone making the decisions for her, if this is the kind of stupidity she gets up to when sheâs alone. âIâm sorry.âÂ
âItâs okay,â he answers quickly, and he runs his hands over her arms and legs, her neck, her face, checking for further injury. âIâm just glad youâre alright. The waves are bad today; you could have been swept away.âÂ
âI didnât realize that until it was too late,â she admits sheepishly, and when he brings her closer she rests her cheek against his chest, feels tears stinging her already tired eyes. âIâm sorry, Jacob.âÂ
âItâs okay, Iâm here. Itâs okay.â His voice is as soft as his hands as they curve around her, holding her against him, and they sit like that for a couple minutes, until Sam runs over and tells him to get her home.Â
He drives again, but this time sheâs even more grateful, because thereâs no way she could have done it herself. She feels so much at onceâdumb and scared and childish, but also brave and calm, while somehow her mind races with thoughts of the wolves howling and Jacobâs hands in her hair. Her focus is shot, and even though sheâs wrapped in one of Jakeâs thick, fleece lined hoodies, she trembles, heavy and cold, as she peers out the passenger side window, watching the trees go by.
âHundred and eight degrees over here,â Jacob says eventually, with a half smile, and she blinks for a moment before giving in; with a sigh, she scoots closer, wraps an arm around his waist. She can feel the heat of his body even through the layers they wear, and she shivers involuntarily at the pleasant but abrupt change in temperature.
âYou still want me this close? Not afraid the bad decisions will rub off onto you?â Itâs a joke, a self-deprecating one, and an apology all bundled together. âWhat I did was stupid, I know. I could have gotten really hurt, and you should have been out there with the pack, with Harry, not saving me.âÂ
He tilts his head, leans closer so his cheek rests against her hair.
âWell it wasnât smart, but we all have our moments. And you couldnât have known about Harryâdonât be too hard on yourself.â A long beat of silence passes, and she turns toward him, pressing her icy nose to his neck with another sigh.
âMmm. Youâre so warm. It must be nice, never getting cold.âÂ
âItâs a wolf thing,â he says with a shrug, but itâs not, not really, and she canât let that stand.Â
âMaybe, but trust me, itâs a Jacob thing too. Youâve always been warm.â She just sits there, breathes him in, lets him warm her hands and nose, so content she almost doesnât notice when he pulls up in front of her house.
âThis is better. Now that you know about me,â he says, tipping his face down, after he turns off the truck. She pulls back just enough to look into his eyes, to try to gauge his intent.
âBut?â He swallows hard, looks away for a moment before returning to her face.
âYou saw what happened to Emily. Sam got angry, lost it for a split second, and Em was standing too close. Heâll never be able to take that back.â He shakes his head, as if imagining the two of them in the same situation. What he could do to her. What she would think of him. âWhat if I get mad and I hurt you?âÂ
âYouâre new to thisâeven if you are a natural,â she says, remembering a comment Embry had made when theyâd last spoken. âYouâll learn how to control it, how to read the warning signs, and youâll either stop yourself from turning or get somewhere safe. Weâll be okay,â she promises, resting her hand soothingly against his neck, and he sighs softly.
âSometimes, I feel like Iâm gonna disappear. Like one day it will be all wolf and no Jake.â He leans in, close enough that their noses just barely brush, and the way he looks down at her is something likeâŠÂ
Yearning, she thinks to herself after a beat. Itâs a powerful emotion, but sheâs never seen it look quite so beautiful before.Â
âYouâre not going to lose yourself. I wonât let that happen.âÂ
âHow?â he asks, bringing a hand up to cover hers, and she wets her lips, shakes her head to clear it; itâs swimming again, in this small space, so very close to himâespecially when heâs looking at her like that.
âIâll tell you all the time⊠how special you are to me.â She looks up, feels like sheâs showing her soul to him, like this incident has stripped her down to bare bones and sheâs letting him see her, once and for all. He stares into her eyes for a long moment, then leans in slowly, tentatively, and this time she doesnât stop herself from meeting him in the middle, from pressing her mouth to his.Â
She can actually feel the relief wash over him when she doesnât reject his kiss, like heâs been tightly coiled and tense and can finally relax because she wants the same things, feels the same way.
She expects his lips to be warm, soft, but he is scorching against her skin, even more so when he moves his hand to her cheek in a gentle caress. With the palm against his hip, she pushes up his t-shirt, gets her fingers on his body, and they both gasp softly into the kiss, deepen it.Â
âJacob,â she sighs when they part for air; he seems okay, if a little shaky, but she feels flushed, eager, almost vibrating with the need to keep kissing him. She wants more, even though her throat burns like the last time his lips touched hers, when he forced the water out of her lungs and saved her life.Â
Thatâs what he does best, her Jacobâlike a flicker in the dark, he always pulls her away from the dangers of her own making and brings her back into the light.
âIs this real?â he asks, his breath a ghost on her lips; his other hand, on her lower back, pulls her closer to his body, and she turns her head and kisses the palm resting on her cheek.Â
They kiss again, hands a bit less careful, hers sliding up his back, his weaving into her hair to control the tilt of her head. She gives in to it all, lets him set the pace, gripping him like a life preserver and letting his heat warm her from the inside out. She feels like she canât get possibly close enough, wants to be pressed skin to skin, but she settles for sliding into his lap, ducking her head so she doesnât hit it on the metal roof of the truck.Â
He groans as she twists fingers into his hair, as she pulls him into her and feels the long, hard line of his body against hers. She kisses faster, harder, and he matches her fervor, wraps an arm around her waist and catches her chin with tight fingers.Â
They kiss for a long time, and the cabin heats, windows fogging up as they share breath and saliva, as they murmur each otherâs names like prayer. Her lips are red and raw when she finally needs to pause, and she rests her head against his chest and listens to the thunderous, wild beating of his heart.Â
âWill you stay the night? Please?â she asks, voice a little brokenârough with need, and soreness from nearly drowning, and breathlessness caused by the most intense kiss of her entire life.Â
Jacob nods, and he sets her carefully back on the seat, removes the keys from the ignition and climbs out of the truck. She slides out behind him, and he closes the door, takes her hand in his just like she did on the beach.
He locks the front door behind them when theyâre finally insideâas if that will stop anyone we need to worry about, she teases with a soft laughâand she takes the lead, walks up the stairs toward her bedroom with Jacob trailing behind.Â
Despite his surreal body heat and the thick, warm sweatshirt heâd given her to wear, sheâs still cold down to her bones, and wet like a drowned rat, so she pulls off her shoes and socks and sets them down by the radiator. Jacob watches her every move from a couple steps away, eyes lingering as she shrugs out of his hoodie, then pulls her damp sweater over her head.Â
Thereâs nothing sexy or seductive about it, itâs not a striptease by any means, but he doesnât look away when sheâs down to her bra, and she doesnât want him to. He bends down to take off his boots, to line them up next to hers, then bridges the distance between them and leans in for a deep, slow kiss.Â
Itâs not long before they both sink down onto the bed, and her fingers slip open the button of her jeans, then hesitate, wait at the button of his. She looks up at him, and the confirmation is all but written there, in the darkness of his eyes, the swipe of his tongue over his lips, but she needs to be sure.Â
âI want you, all of you,â she murmurs, and then she brushes a hand through his hair, leans in to just rest her mouth against his. Itâs delicate like the first time, but full of meaning, and he presses up into her kiss. âDo you want this?âÂ
âI want this. You. Allâall of you.â He nods, licks his lips again, eyes softer but no less hungry, and she flicks open the button and kisses him like she did in the truck: hands on his body, in his hair, her breath all his.Â
They donât part, not really, just fall back against the pillows and tug at clothing, pressing kisses to throats and palms. His t-shirt drops to the bedroom floor, then her jeans and underwear, his, and the room is quiet except for the sounds of eager, wet kisses and soft, needy moans.Â
She sits up, reaches back to unclasp her bra, and Jacob drags the strap down her shoulder, helps her take it off, leaving it somewhere in the bed; his mouth moves to hers, then down her neck, over her collarbone, and finally caresses each nipple with a gentle reverence that makes her ache all over. Â
âYouâre still sure?â he asks when she is shaking beneath his touch, strong arms wrapped around her back, and she nods and shifts up into his lap.Â
When their lips meet, the kiss is hard, and she curls an arm around his shoulders, weaving a hand into his hair. Theyâre both panting when she leans up, guides him inside her, and when she sinks down itâs like a flash of tingling heat takes over her entire body.Â
Jacob groans, holding her securely, thrusting up as she works her thighs above him. They kiss, deep and messy, graceless but passionate, her fingers tugging, his pressing hard into her skin.Â
Itâs not at all how sheâd expected her first time to be; sheâd imagined it would be with Edward, of course, and slow, but she canât get enough of Jacob and it seems like he canât get enough of her either. Sheâd imagined a cool, pale body above her, but itâs Jacobâs deep, rich, hot skin she presses her lips to, her fingernails against. Sheâd expected Edwardâs hard, marble arms around her, and while Jacob is strong and firm heâs still soft, skin slick with sweat as they move together.Â
âJake,â she murmurs, the taste of him on her lips, his scent in her nose, woodsy, clean. âJacob.â Her body trembles and he holds her tighter, presses his face into her neck.Â
âIâve got you.â She sighs happily at that, grabs his hair more roughly, rides him faster.Â
âYouâve got me. Youâve always got me.âÂ
Jacob looks up at her, eyes fiery, liquid, then pulls her in with a hand on the back of her neck and kisses her like the first timeâsoft, nervous, sweet. The juxtaposition of that gentle kiss and his possessive grip makes her dizzy, and when he pulls back his face is all she can see, all she wants to see, all she needs.
âIâve always got you,â he promises, his gaze tender, unflinching. âAlways.â
Heâs got her when he comes, holding her tightly with one thick forearm and dragging his free hand over her breasts, then lower, to rub her clit as she bounces herself to climax in his grasp. âOh, god,â she breathes, voice like a shiver, and her fingernails dig half-moons into his biceps as they both slow, slow, slow, then stop altogether.
He eases them both down against the bed, arms around her, their legs entwined, and they catch their breath, just look at each other until the exhaustion of the day catches up to her. Her eyes flutter closed, and pressed so close to him, so warm, all she can do is sleep.
When she wakes, itâs still mostly dark, and she desperately needs to clean up in the bathroom and get a glass of water. Jacobâs t-shirt is the first piece of clothing she seesâor the first she wants to seeâand she pulls it over her head and pads to the bathroom for a human momentâa very human moment indeed.Â
She pauses, while washing her hands, to look over her reflection in the mirror. Rationally, she knows nothing has really changed, but at the same time everything has.Â
The bathroom water is never cold enough to drink, so she treads down the stairs, across the kitchen, turns on the tap and lets it run until the water is icy and crisp. She fills a glass, takes a couple of sips, then almost drops it when a cool hand is suddenly pressed to her shoulder.Â
Itâs Alice, and she uses her other hand to catch the glass before it can hit the floor and shatter.Â
âRelax. Itâs just me.â Her eyes are soft, and itâs clear she is happy to see her, but thereâs something else in her expression, something inquisitive. âYouâre alright.â
âIâm fine. Iâm⊠good, actually.â She shrugs, which bares her shoulder, in the large t-shirt she wears, that sheâd forgotten she was wearing. She freezesâshe knows how she must smell to Alice, like Jacob and like⊠Jacobâbut her friend just shakes her head.Â
âI couldnât see you; well, I saw you jump off a cliff, and then you were gone. I thought you died.âÂ
âAlive and well,â she says with a tone thatâs hoping for lighthearted, butâŠÂ
She has no regrets about being with Jacob, not oneâshe just hadnât expected to be confronted with a vampire she once considered a sister almost immediately after. She doesnât know what to say right now, how to act. Who to be.
âI was cliff jumping, recreationally. It was fun... for a minute.â Alice rolls her eyes, but itâs clear sheâs happy sheâs unharmedâthough perhaps irritated by her tendency toward life-threatening idiocy.
âThat doesnât explain why I couldnât see you, why your whole future went black.â Her golden eyes stare seriously, unblinking for a moment, and then she looks away. âThough maybe I owe that to the wolf in your bed.âÂ
Of all the nights for Alice to come back to Forks, she thinks, a suddenly uncomfortable pit in her stomach. Then she hears footsteps on the stairs.
âNot in her bed anymore,â Jacob says, voice low, from the doorway to the kitchen; he takes half a step forward, an aborted move, like he wants to put himself in between them.Â
âThis is Alice, Edwardâs sister. Alice, this is Jacob,â she explains, trying not to focus on his shirtless torso, or the pained expression on his face. She blows out a deep breath. âItâs okay. She wonât hurt me.âÂ
âSheâs hurt you before,â he counters, no doubt remembering every heartbroken, aching expression sheâd worn in the months prior. He takes a step closer, so he is next to her, his forearm grazing hers, and Alice takes a step back. âIâd like to stick around, if itâs all the same to you.âÂ
Heâs posturing, that much is clear, but she can't find it in herself to be irritated, because at least heâs giving her the option, letting her choose.
âI thought you couldnât protect me here,â she says, turning her face up to look at him, and Jacobâs response makes heat pool low in her belly, just like the night before.Â
âThere is nowhere in this world I wonât protect youâtreaty or no treaty.âÂ
She wants so badly to kiss him, but Alice is there, Alice, right in front of her after all this time, and sheâs conflicted. Torn. He can tell, she knows, but he doesnât take it personally, just reaches up to scratch his head, sighs.Â
âSo are more of you coming? Isâis heâŠ?âÂ
âI came alone. And no,â Alice replies after a moment, but sheâs looking at her instead, probably knows that heâs just saying what sheâs too worried to ask. âHe only calls in once every few months. Says he wants to be alone.â Jacob scoffs.
âGreat. He wants to be alone, so you all leave her behind, unprotected? That red headed vampire is after her because of him.âÂ
That gets a reaction out of Alice, whose eyes darken protectively.
âWho, Victoria? I havenât seen her.â She stares off into the distance, like sheâs searching for memories, visions, sifting through what sheâs seen and trying to piece together what she hasnât. âJust like I didnât see you get pulled out of the water. Thereâs a lot I havenât seen, apparently,â she adds under her breath, and the other girl presses her lips together, sighs.Â
Not the time or place for this discussion, and they both know it, but that doesnât mean itâs avoidable for long.Â
âSo you canât see around Jacob. The wolves,â she guesses. âIâve been with them a lot lately.â
âWith him a lot lately,â Alice corrects. Jacob huffs, but itâs not untrue, so she lets her think what she wants. Her silence must speak volumes, because Alice takes a deep, wholly unnecessary breath, and gestures toward the door. âShould I go?âÂ
âPlease donât,â she says quickly, nearly begging. Itâs the first sheâs seen of Alice in almost a year and she cannot let her leave as abruptly as sheâd shown up. âIf you could just give us a minuteâŠâÂ
âTake two,â the vampire says, and itâs with a half-smile that turns into a smirk. âIâll go Febreze the living room while I wait: it smells like wet dog.â She turns to leave, a bounce in her step that the other girl canât help laughing at, shaking her head.Â
She sobers up when Jacob turns toward her, takes a step that moves the both of them, so her back is pressed up against the kitchen counter. He looks so serious, and her heart beats for him everywhere.Â
âDo you believe her? When she says she came alone?â he asks, and she tilts her head, nods softly.Â
âOf course I believe her. She just had to make sure I was okay, thatâs all. Thereâs⊠thereâs nothing for them here.âÂ
Even as she says the words, she hopes theyâre not trueâhopes that, even if they really arenât meant to be together, that she and Edward, she and the Cullens, can still be⊠Friends isnât really a strong enough word, but she wants them in her life, potential bloody accidents be damned.Â
âSo if he came back,â Jacob says, leaning in closer, his lips hovering over hers, âyou wouldnât go to him?â His tone is light, but she understands the weight of his question, takes a moment to find the right words to answer it.Â
âIf he came back, Iâd want to see him. Just like I want to see Alice.â She reaches out to touch him, his warm, bare skin, places her palm over his thumping heart. âBut I wouldnât go to him. Not like this.âÂ
Itâs true, and she wants to say more, to promise him, reassure him, but just after she says it, the landline rings. Jacob sighs, his breath on her cheek, and reaches out a hand to answer it. âHello?â The person on the other end speaks in a low tone she canât make out, but she can see the tick in Jacobâs jaw, a hard set to his eyes. âHe isnât here right now, but thatâs not who you really want, is it?âÂ
Thereâs another moment of conversation she canât hear, and Alice walks into the room looking stunned; Jacob hands the other girl the receiver, and she looks from him to Alice and then speaks into the phone. âHello?âÂ
âYouâre alright.âÂ
Itâs Edward, his voice cool and smooth but thick with emotion. It makes butterflies flutter around in her stomach, just like it used to.Â
âIâm alright.â She doesnât give him more than he asks for, doesnât take more than he offers. Sheâs aware of two sets of eyes on her, feels more nervous than before, in her oversized t-shirt and sleep-mussed hair.
Sheâs glad he canât see her and wonders exactly what that means.
âGood. Rosalie said Alice had a visionâŠâ He trails off, but they both know what heâs not saying: everyone thought sheâd given up and killed herself. She crosses her arms.
âThe vision was incomplete. Iâm fine. Stupid, but fine.â Edward huffs a laugh down the line, and she can imagine the exact cant of his mouth, the glimmer in his eye that always seemed to be reserved for her.
âYou are many things, but stupid is not one of them.â Thereâs more he wants to say, she can tell; as a man of few words, many of their conversations were punctuated with heavy, meaningful silence. Part of her wishes she could see his face, at least. That always helped. âWho answered the phone? Jacob?â
She looks up at him involuntarily, notes the tightness of his mouth, his arms folded in front of his bare chest.Â
âYes, Jacob. Heâs the one who pulled me out of the water, the one Alice didnât see.âÂ
âHmm. He still doesnât seem to like me much.â Her lips turn up at thatâunderstatement of the centuryâand she wonders if Jake can hear him too. Based on the stoic expression he wears, he either canât, or heâs not paying attention.Â
âNo he does not.â A beat passes, then two. âYou should call your family more often, go see them. They miss you.âÂ
âItâs difficult,â he says, swallowing, and she nods at no one.Â
âI know, but donât punish them. Please.â She knows how it feels, to be totally cut off from people she loves, to constantly wonder, always fear the worst; she doesnât say it because she knows he knows.
âIâll consider it, if you donât go jumping off those cliffs any time soon.â She laughs softly, surprised at his humor; this was not how she would have ever anticipated a call like this to go, but she likes it. Likes them, like this.Â
âDeal. Alice is looking at me like sheâs going to steal the phone any moment,â she warns, which is putting it mildly. âSo Iâm going to put her on. You can call when itâs not life or death, you know,â she adds quietly. âIt would be nice to hear from you. If you ever want to talk.âÂ
She doesnât know if he responds, because Alice takes the receiver, winds the cord around her arm, and scolds her brother with love in the way only a sister can manage.Â
While they talk, she walks toward Jacob, then past him, toward the staircase, but she takes hold of his hand as she goes, and he follows just like the night before. This time, he closes the bedroom door behind them.Â
âIâm sorry this happened like this,â she says, sitting down on the bed, one leg beneath her and the other hanging over the edge. âIâm not sorry Alice is here, but Iâm sorry thatâs what you woke up to. If you were⊠worried.â Jacob takes the space next to her atop the rumpled duvet.Â
âI was worried when I smelled a bloodsu- vampire,â he corrects quickly, âand you werenât beside me.â
âIâm sorry,â she says again, this time leaning closer. âBut thank you for giving me the phone, letting me talk to him. Iâm sure that wasnât easy.â He shrugs, like it was no big deal, even though she remembers how angry heâd looked at the sound of Edwardâs voice.Â
âI almost didnât. I mean, technically, he didnât ask for you.â She rolls her eyesâdefinitely guy logicâthen stands up, scoops his jeans off the floor and hands them over to him. Her face heats at the memory of removing them in the first place, but she snaps out of that for her own sake and grabs fresh clothes, steps into the bathroom to make herself presentable.
When sheâs done, she heads back to her bedroom, where Jacob is now clad in jeans and boots, sitting shirtless on her bed. She deposits the borrowed t-shirt onto his lap, and when he thinks sheâs not looking he brings it to his nose, inhales long and slow, before pulling it over his head.
That action does things to her, and she wishes for a moment that she had his senses, so she could smell the two of them the same way he does, their scents deeply saturated and blended together.
They head downstairs when theyâre both dressed, and while he rummages in the refrigerator for something to make them for breakfast, she treads into the living room and sits down next to Alice on the couch.Â
âSo,â Alice says, and then she gestures to a cup of tea. The other girl picks up the mug and thanks her, brings it to her lips. âHow long has that been going on?âÂ
She feels her cheeks heat, and she hides behind another sip of tea.Â
âReally? I havenât seen you in almost a year and thatâs what you want to talk about?âÂ
âOh, forgive me for being curious about what itâs like to date a werewolf when last I saw you were grieving the loss of my brother.â Aliceâs tone is more playful than it would seem, and her eyes smile even if her lips donât.Â
She always knew that Edward wasnât telling the truth when he said he didnât want her. He just couldnât bear it, knowing that being with him put her in so much danger, caused her so much pain. She knew it was worth it, but if he didnât⊠thereâs nothing she could have done to change his mind, she knows that now. She canât feel guilty for moving on when itâs exactly what heâd wanted her to do in the first place.Â
âOkay, youâre right. Letâs talk about how Iâm going to comb the woods, find Victoria, and rip her into confetti for threatening to hurt you.âÂ
âYou donât have to do that,â Jacob says, walking into the room with⊠a cup of tea. He looks over at the mug in her hand, then sets the one he brought her down on the table without a word. âThe packâs got it covered.âÂ
âAll due respect, but if the pack had it covered, she wouldnât be a threat anymore, would she?â Alice tosses over her shoulder. The other girl sets her tea down and sighs.Â
âAlright, can we not do this? The age-old vampires versus werewolves thing? Especially if Iâm in the middle of it. Maybe you guys could work together for a change; Alice canât protect this part of the territory all by herself.â She picks up her drinkâa drink, the one Jacob made, this timeâand takes a long sip, looks up at them over the rim of the mug.Â
âThe pack could help, if you give us the authority to amend the treaty,â Jacob says to Alice, though heâs kind of looking at the ceiling, his arms crossed. âBut wherever she is, Iâll be.âÂ
âYou canât be with her every second,â Alice counters, and her exasperation makes it sound like an argument sheâs had before. âItâs not good for either of you and could put her in danger; if Victoria picks up on it, sheâll be able to use your scent to track her anywhere. Trust me, yours is a lot stronger than hers is, and itâs all over her.âÂ
She thinks Jacob makes some kind of noise, like a low growl in the very back of his throat, but itâs hard to hear. Alice raises her eyebrows like sheâs trying not to roll her eyes.Â
The three of them discuss potential ways to coordinate with the pack, and Alice mentions calling in Emmett and Jasper to see if they could help with the search; the sooner Victoria is gone, the better, is the general consensus, and Jacob thinks he can get Sam on board with that as well, even if it means more Cullens coming back to town.Â
She finishes both cups of tea, then a plate of eggs and toast Jacob put together from the bare-bones contents of her kitchenâshe reminds herself to make a shopping list, then absently wonders if sheâll have a grand escort to Trader Joeâs.Â
âIâll make some calls while youâre gone,â Alice says as she is taking her last bite; she looks up from her plate, confused, and Alice waves a hand. âI saw a glimpse of you at the grocery store, but then it went dark; I assume that means heâs going with you.â
âI thought about it for a split second, as a joke,â she clarifies with a huff of laughter. âI donât think I need a bodyguard in the produce aisle at eight AM.â
âBetter safe than sorry,â Alice and Jacob say, at the same time, and her lips twitch in amusement.Â
Looks like theyâre not so different, in the end.
She gives in and allows Jacob to drive her to the supermarket, though not without a long look from Alice as he walks her to the truck with his hand on the small of her back.Â
They breeze through the store thanks to the list in her headâshe buys a little more than she usually would, because it seems like Jacob plans to be around. She likes the thought of that even more than sheâd expected, likes choosing things solely because she knows heâll enjoy them.
âI think we should talk about last night,â Jacob says, voice low, when theyâre nearly back to her house. She cringes internally, because thatâs never a sentence a girl wants to hear after a night like that, and he clears his throat. âI know cliff jumping ended up being kind of traumatic for you, and it didnât feel like it last night, but if I took advantageâŠâ
He looks over at her, his expression pained, and she shifts closer and wraps her hand around his forearm.
âGod, no, Jakeâthatâs not what happened.â He brings the truck to a stop in her driveway, puts it in park, and she presses her palm to his cheek so heâll focus on her instead of fixing his gaze out the window. âI wanted everything, every moment. I still want it,â she murmurs, and he looks over her face like heâs still not quite sure he believes it.
âYou do? Even after⊠after you spoke to him, and everything?â Itâs a fair question, and again, one she answers very carefully.
âI think we needed to talk, he and I, but it didnât change anything. Youâre the one who changed everything,â she admits softly, tentatively, wetting her lips. She hopes her eyes convey the certainty her voice canât seem to. âDo you want to kiss me?â she breathes, leaning closer, her fingers winding a path through his hair, and he nods his head and presses his mouth to hers.Â
She gets up on her knees so she can be closer to him, but she doesnât climb into his lap like beforeâshe does have some self-restraint, despite what it may seem. She curls one arm around the muscles of his back, pulls him in for more contact with the hand in his hair, and itâs a few minutes later when she remembers theyâve got bags of perishable groceries in the back and a vampire with excellent acoustic abilities just inside her home.Â
She pulls back, smiles a little at the soft, unfocused look on his face, then runs her hand down his chest before lifting it away entirely.
âI know weâre kind of at DEFCON 1 right now, but more of that a little later would be nice.âÂ
âHmm. Very nice,â he agrees with a nod, his voice slightly rough, and he turns off the ignition and carries all of her groceries into the kitchen with one strong arm.Â
Emmett and Jasper do come back, with Rosalie and Esme, to her delight and Jacobâs discomfort. Between the pack, who comes to get the vampiresâ scents so thereâs no friendly fire, and the family, who split time between her house and the one they left behind, the place is a revolving door of the supernatural for the next few days.Â
All of them take turns watching over her house at night, while the others patrol the woods. She catches up with everyone sheâs been separated fromâeven Jasper gives her a crushing hug, so at least the time away was good for somethingâand itâs wonderful, but it means thereâs not much time to be with Jacob aside from planning sessions and the occasional quick check in. The most time she spends with him is when they attend Harryâs funeral, something somber and intimate, with ethereal music and a glowing campfire and endless stories about the Clearwater line.Â
She is introduced to Leah and Seth, Harryâs children, and while Seth seems welcoming and friendly his sister is cold, standoffishâthough not without reason, she soon learns from the pack.Â
âSheâs not always like that⊠mostly just when sheâs around Sam,â Embry says where they stand on the edge of the forest, away from the thick smoke that burns her very human eyes. She looks over at the pack leader at the mention of his name. âNow that sheâs part of the pack, we have to live the Leah/Sam/Emily painfest all over again.âÂ
She turns back to him, to Quil, whoâs standing beside him, and tilts her head, curious.
âI donât think I followâSam left Leah for Emily?â
âWell, yeah, but itâs not what you think. He hates himself for hurting her, but he couldnât help it. Emily was âthe one.ââ Quil says it almost sarcastically, with air quotes for emphasis, and she frowns.
âThe one?â She doesnât mean to sound skeptical, but these days sheâs not as big a fan of providence and destiny as she used to be.
âSam imprinted on Emily. Itâs kind of like⊠soulmates, but bigger. Cosmic. They were literally meant to be together.â
âLike fate,â she says, filling in that blank, and then a large, warm hand is splayed across her back, fingertips pressing into the fabric of her dress.Â
âWe make our own fate around here,â Jacob says tightly, and she looks up, regards him curiously. Heâs not just upset about Harry, or Victoria⊠thereâs got to be something else making his jaw tense, his eyes hard. âAnd I think thatâs more than enough of the pack soap opera for tonight. Are you ready to go home?âÂ
He turns his gaze to her, and it softens, for which she is grateful; he is her guardian on duty tonight, and despite the solemn eveningâor maybe because of itâshe wants to spend the night as close to him as she possibly can.
She nods, and after they say their goodbyes he walks her to the truck, opens the door for her, closing it carefully when sheâs safely inside. He takes the spot behind the driverâs seatâhis usual, nowâbut doesnât drive straight to her house like she expects.Â
âIce cream?â she asks when he turns off the engine outside of a mom and pop shop selling sundaes, cones, and shakes. She exits the car at his indication, and the two of them walk hand in hand up to the illuminated window that says Order Here. An older couple is ahead of them, pointing at the chalk menu board, and Jacob leans in to speak in a hushed tone.Â
âThis place was Harryâs favorite. You like chocolate, right?âÂ
âHas anyone ever answered ânoâ to that question?â she asks softly, playfully, and it works as intended, lightens the mood just enough to bring a brilliant smile to his painfully beautiful face. âI think this is a wonderful way to remember him, Jake.â She wraps a comforting arm around his, and Jacob nods, lips pressed together, eyes sad.
âJust kind of feels right.âÂ
He orders for them when itâs their turn, two waffle cones with two scoops of chocolate ice cream each, and they sit at a picnic table on the side of the building, eating their tributes with heavy hearts and looking up at the stars.
The ride home is quiet, contemplative, at least for her; by the time they arrive she has been running through thoughts of mortality, finality, how short life is and how very precious.Â
These are all normal thoughts for a person to have, and certainly after a celebration of life like the one on the reservation tonight, but she thinks seriously for the first time about Jacob and his desperate need to protect her, the way he puts himself in dangerâstupidly, recklessly, completelyâevery day to keep her safe.
When theyâve made it inside, she exhales deeply, looks up into earnest, curious eyes, and wraps her arms around him, presses close so she can bury her nose in his clothing.
She breathes him in long and slow, his usual scent of crisp air and rain and oak dulled by the smoke of the bonfire, and then his hands are in her hair, tipping her face up for a decadent, passionate kiss.Â
God, how is he so good at this? she thinks as he sips at her lips, glides his own down the tender line of her throat. She sighs and grabs for his arms, something to ground her as her desire threatens to take over, to leave her a whimpering, begging mess beneath his hands.Â
Jacob turns them so sheâs got her back to the kitchen table, sets her on top of it, and she parts her knees for him, pulls him closer. Her fingers itch with the need to touch his skin, so she tugs at the hem of his shirt and gets her hands beneath it, skims them over the taut muscles of his bare back.Â
âI can take it off,â he murmurs against her neck, and she nods breathlessly and helps him pull it over his head. His hands bracket her hips, palms flat on the table, and her arms curve up around his back, bringing him closer; she kisses him eagerly anywhere she can reachâhis throat, shoulders, face, everywhere.
She whispers his name into his own skin, presses her lips to his biceps, scrapes her teeth over the lobe of his ear, and he shudders at her touch, tilts his head to look up at her, his eyes dark and almost⊠dangerous.
What does it say about her, that she finds that look so goddamn attractive?
âIâm sorry, IâI need a minute,â he says, panting through gritted teeth, and she lets her hands fall away, leaning back a little to give him space to breathe.
âTake all the time you need,â she assures him calmly, patiently. Itâs the first time sheâs ever seen his wolf so close to the surface, and sheâs completely unafraid, would hold him and help him ride out the tension in his body if she thought he would let her. âItâs just us, Jake, just me and you.âÂ
âJust us,â he repeats, his fists clenching and unclenching, taking a long breath with his eyes closed. She breathes with him, has always found that helpful when she herself is overwhelmed, and after a few moments he presses closer and she runs a soothing hand over his chest. âIâm okay,â he says eventually, leaning in slowly for a kiss as though heâs afraid it will be rejected. She brings her hands to his face, deepens it, so itâs still soft and easy but with enough meaning behind it to convey her thoughts.Â
âI know,â she murmurs, just to be certain he believes her. âYou did so good; so good, Jake.â He nods, pulls back a little so he can look into her eyes.Â
âItâs not that I canât control it, I can, butâŠâ He looks away for a moment, swipes his tongue over his lips. âThe instincts are so strong and I donât always want to fight them. Sometimes when Iâm with you, I want to let the wolf win.â He says it like heâs ashamed, and she puts her arm around his shoulders and brings him down for another kiss, this one just a gentle press of mouths.
âI understand that more than you think I do.â His breath on her lips makes her crave more of his heat, but she knows it has to be slow now, or heâll get too in his head and never let himself enjoy their night together. âI may not be supernaturally inclined, but sometimes making decisions with my body is all I want to do. Especially with you,â she adds, just a sigh between them, then touches their foreheads together.Â
They stay like that for a moment, embracing in their own way, until he initiates a kiss that is so thorough it makes her toes curl. She brings her hands to his waist, guides him closer, and he rests a broad palm at the base of her throat and kisses her, again, and again, and again.Â
Her arms curl around his body the second they separate for air, and he lifts her from the table, carries her up the stairs with an ease that makes her long for more frequent displays of his strength.Â
Getting his clothes off is quick enough, since heâs already shirtless, and his hands are tender and gentle as he sweeps her hair away from her neck, pulls down the zipper of her dress, slides it off her bare shoulders.Â
Neither of them bother to pull back the covers, simply lay back on the bed, her knees apart again, Jacob hovering between them and letting his eyes move over her like heâs committing her body to memory. It makes a wave of heat rush through her, and since tonight is less hurried she does the same, lingers over every curve of muscle, every sharp line of bone. He leans in, lays an arm behind her head, glides his lips over her jaw, her cheek, her mouth.
âI was right, before,â she says after another satisfying kiss, letting her fingers press into the flesh of his hips. He looks into her eyes, tilts his head curiously, and she smiles a little, canât help herself. âYou really are beautiful.âÂ
Jake breathes a laugh, even blushes a little, then kisses her until theyâre both panting; her fingertips press harder when he pushes inside, then glide up his back to keep him close while the two of them move together.Â
Jacob feels so different this way, is so much deeper, filling her in a way that makes it so she really canât tell where she ends and he begins. He is heavy on top of her, but not uncomfortably so, and when her body shifts up the bed with every thrust itâs thrilling, incredibleâsheâs never felt so much in her life.
His face is serious, eyes focused, and she weaves her fingers into his hair and catches his lips in a kiss, moans into the end of it when he finds a spot inside of her that takes her breath away.Â
âOh, god, Jake.â He leans in for another kiss, deep and wet, nods against her lips.Â
âYouâre perfectâso perfect,â he huffs, breathless; he moves his hand to her hip, runs it over her stomach, then presses his palms to the bed and repeats his previous motion, over and over, her body coiling tight with pleasure. âCanât believe I get this.âÂ
âWe get this,â she corrects in a whisper, wonât let him think for one second that sheâs not as completely in awe of him as he seems to be of her. She skims her nails over his lower back, his ass, tightens her thighs on either side of him and tips her head back just as he makes her come. âDonât stop, Jake, please,â she whines, shaking, holding him so tightly with her entire bodyâshe never wants it to end, never wants to be separated from him again, and he agrees, if the way his body presses down on hers is any indication.Â
âCanât stop⊠need you,â he groans, pushing her leg up further, so he feels almost impossibly thick and deep. Her arms wrap around his back, pulling him closer, holding him there as he ruts into her, scorching flesh pressed against flesh.Â
âYes, ohââ
Before she knows it sheâs quaking again, gasping when he brings his teeth to her throat, scrapes them over her throbbing pulse. He growls in her ear, a deep, low, animalistic rumble she can feel in her stomach, then comes inside, claiming her with a broken, raspy, âmine.â
He lays half on top of her, half on the bed, after, their skin soft and damp with cooling sweat. She canât stop looking at his face, his dark eyes, sharp jaw, and he cups her cheek with a gentle palm and gazes just as intently at her.Â
âCome here,â she murmurs, a soft smile on her lips, and he kisses her slowly, makes her sigh with a pleasure so completeâmentally, physically, spirituallyâit feels like sheâll never be the same.Â
He gets up after a moment, comes back with a glass of water and a towel, and helps her clean up well enough to hold her over until sheâs ready to get out of bed. She pulls the covers back while heâs gone, slides in between the cool sheets, and he follows her lead, pressing close to her beneath them.
âAre you upset you didnât imprint on me?â she asks carefully, propping herself up on her elbow and using the other hand to run fingers through his hair. âI noticed that when the guys were talking about it, you got kind of tense.â He shrugs slightly before shaking his head.
âNo, not upset⊠I was just so sure you were meant for me; I really thought it would happen sooner or later.â She understands that, can picture him wishing and waiting for something that would never come to pass. So patient, her Jacob.
âDo you wish it had? Do you think it would make this more real?â Her hand moves from his hair to his collarbone, down his chest, over his stomach, so very low. âBecause when Iâm touching you like this⊠nothing has ever felt so real.âÂ
He presses her against the bed, hovers over her, kisses her breathless, and it goes without saying that he agrees with every word she says. She softens beneath him, tired and pleased, and he shifts into a more comfortable position, laying behind her, that she knows means sleep for the both of them. He drapes an arm over her, and she draws circles into his skin with her fingertips, feels his warm breath on her neck, closes her eyes and revels in the weight of him at her back.
âAnyway,â she whispers, one last thought on her mind before she succumbs to sleep, âI almost think itâs better like this, that we have to fight for each other. No help from fateâjust your will and mine.â
A/N:Â I got my start in fandom spaces by writing Twilight fanfic fifteen years ago, but I never posted it because it was... bad. Last week was a crummy week for me, so I found comfort in watching New Moon, and I literally couldn't help myself from re-writing it in Jacob's favor. There's no Edward hate here, and he'll play a bigger role in the next part I have planned, but Jake took hold of me in this one and didn't let go.
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The Perpetual Chase | Chapter One | Leon Kennedy x reader series
links to other parts: part two | part three
đ©âĄđȘâpairing: las plagas!yandere leon s. kennedy x fem!reader (afab) & Chris Redfield x fem!reader (afab)
đ©âĄđȘâsummary: the reader is finally free from the physical prison Leon held her in, but she remains in a mental trap that makes her constantly think about the incident. with an effort to move on, she is living with Chris, Jill, and her son, trying to continue life without leon.
đ©âĄđȘâword count: 2.8k
đ©âĄđȘâdisclaimer: this is a work of fiction! i do not condone everything i write. this is for 18+ readers, so MDNI. youâre responsible for the content you consume so if any of the follow warnings trigger you, click off now.
đ©âĄđȘâwarnings: NSFW 18+. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. female anatomy and she/her pronouns used for the reader. this series will mention things that happened in âbroken locksâ, please read before you read this to understand and know what youâre getting into. specific chapter warnings: healing trauma, reader suffers with remnants of Stockholm syndrome, & mention of of death.
đ©âĄđȘâa/n: heyyy! sorry this took forever, life has been hectic, but i hope you enjoy, please like and reblog if you did. just wanted to mention one thing though, i did name the son in the story, i didnât want to keep putting âinsert sons nameâ. i know its an x reader but there is only so much customising i can do without it being exhausting, so please do not hate on that. anyways thank you for all ur support, love yâall.
Chapter one: a broken beginning
The warm lamp on the bedside table filled the cosy room with an orange tinge around the four walls; the sleepy five-year-old was nestled in his mother's arms, clutching his favourite stuffed bear as he eagerly awaited his nightly fairytale from you â his beloved mother.
âOnce upon a time, in a faraway land,â you began with a soft and melodic voice, âthere was a beautiful queen named Seraphina.â You brushed Masonâs dark blond hair away from his forehead, his eyes sparkling warmly as you delved further into the story.
âQueen Seraphina had the most radiant smile that lit up the kingdom, and her kindness was known to all. She had a little prince called⊠Mason,â you saw him smile; you always liked to change the name to involve him and to hear that little giggle, âand Mason was her pride and joy.â
You continued with the tale; your words weaved a story of love, bravery, threat and danger, getting to the part that always scared Mason â the mentioning of the wicked sorcerer who became obsessed with the queen's beauty and vowed to take her away from everything she knew for his own selfish desires.
âQueen Seraphina was smart and strong,â your voice tinged with a hint of caution, âshe had a magic charm, a special kind of protection that kept her safe from harm.â
Mason listened intently, his innocent eyes fixed on your face, soaking in every word that was uttered.
âHowever,â you continued, lowering your voice slightly, âthe sorcererâs obsession grew stronger by the day. He plotted and schemed, waiting for the perfect moment to take Queen Seraphine away from everything she loved.â
This was Masonâs favourite part, where the narrative took an unexpected turn as Queen Seraphina's castle was suddenly surrounded by darkness and thenâŠ
There was a knock on the door. Jill came in.
âIâm sorry to interrupt your storytelling, but it's time for bed; Mason has a big day tomorrow,â Jill said as she waited for Mason to walk with her.
âYou heard Jill, off you go.â
âBut Mom, I want to hear what happens to Queen Seraphina,â he whined.
âYouâve listened to the story millions of times,â he pouted, making your heart melt âTomorrow Iâll tell the story earlier, and I promise we will finish it⊠Now go with your Aunty Jill,â he hugged you as he went off, leaving you to put away the book.
You walked outside your room, watching Mason get all pouty as Jill tried to get him into bed, noticing Chris walk by and jokingly tell him to behave â Mason always listened to Chris; he almost looked up to him and tried his best to copy his mannerisms. You four were all living together in an unknown area, even though you couldnât tell the actual location for safety reasons due to your âturbulent mental healthâ and your contact with Las Plagas, as the doctors put it, but you liked living with Chris, Jill and your son, as well as the ones who created a protective sphere and kept on guard. You were healing over your trauma after what happened five years ago, but there were still doctors who would check up on you and, most importantly, Mason; they were 99% certain you werenât a carrier, but they continued to be sceptical of the child you bore from an infected man, Las Plagas had to be coursing through his veins â but every test showed he never carried the disease, but this didnât satisfy or stop the frequent checks.
You understood the measures that had to be taken, but every time you had a check-up, that incident played in your head; it didnât help that you had other factors like Masonâs favourite fairytale being about kidnapping; it all just made you remember Leon and what he had done to you â how he violated and manipulated you. The first year was hard; you woke up every night and only slept periodically, your eyebrows darkening. Jill and Chris made things easier; they were patient and understanding, reassuring you that Leon was dead and wasnât coming back â but that didnât silence your mind completely. You never admitted it to them, not those who checked up on you, but you still had nightmares, picturing Leonâs face with those dark veins and that perverted, dark smile he would always have when you were vulnerable. But you also thought about how you loved him towards the end; you remember putting your finger on the trigger and telling him, âI love youâ. You felt guilty for having those bittersweet memories; the psychiatrists kept telling you it wasnât healthy and that love doesnât begin like that, and you knew that, but another part of your brain thought about the moment he took care of you. You remembered when he hugged and cared for you and helped you in the bath; all those memories had a dark tone, but you missed him.
The nights where those mixed feelings kept you awake, you wished you could get over it all and just think it was in the past, but it was hard, and despite Jill insisting on you needing to âhealâ, you thought that was never going to happen; you thought that you were forever broken no matter the new life you were living. Five years on, it was a little easier to handle, with an emphasis on âlittleâ, but there were still improvements. You had your friend Jill with you, and you were starting to get to know Chris, finally getting over the fact he wanted to kill you when he first met you, but that was something to joke about now â an extremely dark joke, but a joke nonetheless. Even though you loved Jill, the most understanding person was Chris; your developing friendship helped you along the journey, whereas Jillâs constant talking about a âhealing journeyâ was coming from a good place but put pressure on you on how you should feel and where you should be in that âhealing journeyâ. You felt like she didnât truly understand the trauma you were going through; of course, no one really did, but Chris managed to make you feel comfortable and like he was actually feeling your emotions.
You had talked to Chris about how Jillâs words affected you and made you continually think about your broken mental health. He offered a shoulder to cry on, and you felt a connection with him. These feelings were confusing; you longed for Chris to stay longer when you had your late-night chats when he went off guarding duty, but it felt wrong to have these feelings when you were still thinking of Leon and what could have been if he remained that sweet neighbour you would make meals for. You didnât know if this was the beginning of what they call âmoving onâ, but all you knew was that you liked it when Chris sneaked past Jillâs room when she watched over Mason sleeping and how you giggled together and sometimes had a little nap in each other's arms.
Tonight was another night you would have those late nights with Chris; you two had gotten into that routine of waiting for Jill to put Mason and then drift off before Chris would get off guard duty â you two werenât doing anything physically intimate, but you knew Jill wouldnât be comfortable with you having a flirtatious moment with another man, especially Chris. You felt guilty â at times â knowing you were keeping something from your best friend, but you also knew that this secret wouldnât last forever; this secret would last for a while but would come out of hiding if anything actually sparked between you two, but you know when you would admit it you would get a lecture and experience her overprotectiveness. You did understand why she was acting like this, but you also wanted some freedom now to take it at your own pace and not be constantly monitored.
You waited in your bedroom; your door opened a crack to let Chris know you wanted him to come in; the anticipation bubbled inside you as you waited for him; you loved feeling that excitement; you hadnât felt that innocent thrill since when you used to give meals to Leon, you remembered the excuse of your awful portion sizes and the smile he would always give when tasting your cooking⊠You missed that. You often thought about what could have been if Leon had never gotten infected. Would you two have gotten together naturally if he was still the boy next door? Would it have been a beautiful romance? Well, it doesnât matter how much you thought because it would never be a true reality.
As you were getting lost in your thoughts, you subtly jumped out of your mind to be taken back into reality when you saw the door open, then met with Chrisâ smile when he saw your face.
âIâm not disturbing you, am I?â he closed the door behind him.
âNo, no⊠I wouldnât have had the door like that if I didnât want you here,â you lifted yourself from the foot of your bed, putting your arms around him and nuzzling your face into his chest as he brought you in his arms, âIâve missed you.â
âWow, I didnât know I had the effect on you,â he laughed. You just rolled your eyes.
Inside the dimly lit bedroom, you two sat on the floor on the comfortable fluffy carpet that was by your bed â you would often start your conversations here. You felt like you were wrapped in the warm comfort of Chrisâ presence; the soft glow of the bedside lamp cast a gentle hue that invited closeness.
âI donât think Jill will be waking up any time soon⊠I heard slight snoring coming from Masonâs room,â you both laughed.
âMeans sheâs out like a light,â he moved close to you, and you caught the sense of his natural scent that drew you closer and brought that excitement back; it felt like a true romance was blooming, but those previous thoughts kept making you think otherwise.
âHow do you think she would react to⊠all of this?â you asked to break some silence.
âTo be honest, I donât know, but⊠I donât want to talk about that now,â you raised an eyebrow out of interest, âY/N, I want to talk to you about something, and itâs fine if you donât want to engage, but please hear me out.â
âWow, just a few minutes, and weâre already getting serious.â
âWell, Iâve been thinking about it all day, but shut up for a bit and let me speak,â you both laughed, âFor the past five years, weâve gotten closer. I got to know you, and Iâm glad you got over our first awful first impressions, but⊠I didnât expect to have what we have now. We donât do what usual friends do, fair enough, weâve never done anything, but I feel something. I suppose Iâm trying to say I feel something for you, I care about you, and I want to see if you feel the same, and maybe we could build on that.â
You looked down at your hands before saying anything, watching his anticipation: âChris⊠I do like you, but⊠I donât want to lead you on. I feel like we have something, but I think everyone knows Iâm not totally over what you know who did with me; I mean, I donât think I can do things like sex for a long time.â
âWe donât have to have sex for us to be something real,â he softly grabbed your hand, âI understand if you donât want anything with me, but if you did, I wouldnât rush you into things like that, I would wait⊠Sex doesn't always make something real; we could have our own terms.â
Thinking about your memories of Leon, watching Chris, and the warm energy you felt from him. When you looked at the picture of Leon in your mind, you had bittersweet memories, romantic at times but truly traumatic and what he did ruined your life; you were ready to admit that. But when you looked at Chris, you saw a new beginning, a broken beginning, but something that could blossom into something beautiful if you let it and let go of Leon's hold on you even in the grave.
âKiss me,â he widened his eyes with shock, watching you to make sure, âKiss me, and Iâll truly know if Iâm ready to say yes to this.â
He leaned in slowly, his soft lips brushing against yours until the skin of your lips fully collided into a passionate kiss; you had to adjust to this intimacy you hadnât had in years, but you melted into the rhythm and let it take over, your eyes were shut, and your hands reached for his shoulders, inviting you to roam your hands around. Chris moved himself closer, lost in the interlocking of passion that was taking hold of you two⊠Until it had to stop.
â...I do want something real with you, Chris⊠But please be patient with me.â
âOf course, everything that will happen, I will make sure youâre 100% okay with it⊠I wonât hurt you.â
You smiled softly, thankful for his understanding and how much he wanted to be with you. The night drifted with you two conversing, hugging, and finding the moment to kiss again, giggling about how much you missed that sensation with another, glad to share it with Chris.
âââ â
â â âœ àŒ âŸ â â
â
âââ
Hours had drawn on, finally hitting where you two had to depart before Jill was up. Chris still couldnât wipe that smile off his face, knowing you two were finally moving into something, not being ambiguous about anything. You two looked at the time, not mentioning it, to see if Chris would stay with you a little longer.
âI think I need to go before Jill finds out Iâm here,â you wrapped your arms around him even more tightly.
âWill I see you again soon?â
âIâll be here again before you go to bed, and Iâll see you throughout the day.â
You gave him a final kiss before parting with him, watching as he closed the door fully, letting you close your eyes and relieve the whole night for a few moments before Mason came rushing back into your room.
As you turned over, oblivious of the outside, Chris was met with the one person you didnât want to see â Jill. Every morning, after the countless nights together, Chris would sneakily close the door without a sound, rushing back to his spot before Jill even woke up, only today she happened to wake up earlier. She stood there with her arms folded, head tilted as she waited for Chris to speak. He just looked at her, defeated.
âSpeak of the devil,â Chris said to himself, âJill, just say what you want,â he turned to face her.
She moved one step closer: âYou can never help yourself, can you?â
This ignited subtle anger in Chirs; all those nights you two had, how you confided in him about Jillâs overprotectiveness, Chris thought about how he would tell you; you were probably overthinking, but now he could witness the overprotectiveness that made you feel like you were constantly behind in your process with trauma.
âY/N can make her own decisions; I never forced myself or made her be with me; we just⊠kinda hit it off.â
âYou know she isnât in the right state of mind to make a decision; sheâs traumatised, she needs to heal, and all youâre doing is⊠being a safe replacement for Leon.â
âIâm not a fucking replacement!â he raised his voice, âIf it was a few months after, fair enough, but itâs been five goodman years; in those years, weâve made something that is finally happening, donât you dare call me a replacement.â
âDo you like her, or is it just the easy option with the lack of missions recently? I donât trust that youâre being sensitive to her situation.â
âJill⊠Thatâs low, and you know it is⊠Ask her yourself if you donât trust me,â he looked away, returning to his spot.
âOh, before you go, Chris,â he rolled his eyes, âLeon woke up, heâs downstairs in the quarantine zone being monitored⊠He wants to speak to someone; it might as well be the man moving in on the woman he has a child with.â
Right there and then, time had stopped. You werenât aware of this, but Chris, Jill and everyone who walked the building knew Leon wasnât dead as you believed. When you pulled the trigger, you didnât damage any vital organs and allowed him to live. And now he had woken up⊠Striking fear in everyone and making everyone watch him like a hawk to protect you.
Â©ïž admirxation. please do not copy or steal my works.
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ENHYPEN Imagines
agape | sjy.
pairings: sim jaeyun x reader
synopsis: his pretty wings in exchange of the ability to walk over this sinful land. his immortality in exchange of a life where he can be with you. his loyalty in exchange to own and have you for himself. all of these, jake was willing to do. heâs a servant of God who turned into a sinner and you are his sin he happily committed.
word count: 12k
warnings: suic*de, suggestive themes (a little), angels/heaven vaguely mentioned, not proof read, wrong grammar (be nice).
special note: i just want to put disclaimer that this fic have no intention to disrespect any religion and so is God or anything heaven related. not everything written here are legit and purely from my imagination.
note: okay, first of all, iâm not so sure how i did with this fic. at first i thought i will put yandere theme here, but ends up going somewhere else. i hope you will like this because i did enjoyed writing this. let me know what you think about this fic through my asks. send asks please, it does help me a lot. thank you. ily and keep safe.
fic moodboard âș here
© eeunoia 2023 â all rights reserved.
Angels are known for their obedience, loyalty and beautiful appearance. With pretty wings and calm composure, they are often labelled only with good words. They have said to be the ones sent down to earth for various missions. They patrol the areas to deter crime.
Sometimes, they are tasked to guide someone back to heaven. Sometimes they are asked to do something else. But one of the main jobs an archangel can have is to look over a person and serve as their guardian angel. It said to be a very hard task, the hardest out of all. The angels sent for this mission are meticulously and strictly picked.
âTheyâre sending you then?â one of the angels asked the smiling boy. His eyes sparkles innocently together with his big beautiful wings.
Jaeyun stands out a lot from the other angels, not only because of his big pretty wings that are very unique, but also because of his ethereal visuals that made him even more distinct. Some says he was meant for this, that being an angel fits him like a puzzle piece. None can go against that thought as the said angel sure really look heavenly. With his blonde hair, sparkling eyes, pointy nose and plump red lips. Heâs breathtaking.
âYes. The higher rank archangel called me a while ago and gave me the name of the person I will soon look after to.â the boyâs fist balled in excitement. He looked giddy, hyper to the extent that he couldnât keep himself from moving.
The angels around him showed an amused and curious expression. âThatâs great! Is it a girl or a boy?â
He smiles, âA girl.â
They nodded their heads, âWhatâs her name?â
âY/n.â
Saying that heâs excited was an understatement. His hands continuously fidgets, his lips caught in between his teeth and feet thumps in a distinct beat. The older angel turns his head and a smile breaks to his face at the younger one.
âYou look so excited.â
âI am Sir!â and he even made a small dances.
He chuckles and guided him towards somewhere. His eyes grew a little big in amusement and his lips parted a bit. He heard about this part of their kingdom multiple times, how amazing and ethereal it was. But Jaeyun was beyond amused. It was nothing you can put into words to properly give justice to this magical place.
One by one, the upper angel tries to fill information to young, freshman, Jaeyun. Heâs so adorably looking around, curious of every bits of his surroundings. How can he not be excited? Heâs been waiting for this major role he finally gained himself for and now that heâs here heâs exhilirated. He promised he will do his best to serve only for the greater good.
âYou will be looking after Y/n. Sheâs about your age.â he starts and shows him this beautiful girl that is currently studying inside a place he assumes to be her room.
Jaeyun was speechless that moment. His wide smile faltered for a bit, his throat felt dry, his chest tightens for an unknown reason and he just stared at the girl. Suddenly he felt like his heart are frantically beating. It was already like that moments before because of excitement, but now he feels like thereâs just so much more.
The upper angel notices his behavior and didnât take it as something serious. It wasnât that unusual as it happens before whenever one gets to meet their first human to look after to. Angels naturally have this personality to adore and see humans as precious creatures. They just love them to bits and enjoys being around them.
Realizing that the younger one still couldnât find the words to say, he decided to talk.
âHer previous guardian angel was tasked something different so we needed a new angel to guide her.â
Jaeyun finally snaps out of his trance and nodded. His eyes sparkles before he glanced back at you, looking distress while holding a thing that comes in a shape of a rectangle. You donât look fascinated at what youâre looking at and rather frustrated painted over your face.
He was instructed that he will be sent to you right away. He doesnât need to be hold back or stay for some kind of orientation about it. He was basically trained for this. Heâs beeb preparing for this for as long as he can remember. Its one of the reason why they exist.
After giving some few reminders, he was guided towards somewhere. Jaeyun couldnât hold his excitement to himself, lips stretched from side to side of his face, eyes so bright you can see from a distant how happy he is, and he cannot help to hop as he walks. Its the best day for him.
âJaeyun,â a soft, almost impossible to hear sound of a voice calling his name made him halt from his steps.
He craned his neck to the sides, hoping to see someone calling out for him. The upper angel was already steps ahead of him, unaware of the interruption over to the younger one. Jake continues to turn his head, until he saw this gate. It was huge that even when you look up to try and see its end, it wasnât visible. Cotton like clouds surrounds the golden metals that serves as a boundary between Jaeyun and the place on the other side.
He furrow his brows and approached closer, trying to take a peak through those metal gates. From where he is, he can see a staircase. It looks so magical.
Jaeyun gulps as he felt his breath slowly being taken away, astonished by the scenery right in front of him. Unconsciously, his hand extends towards the gate and before his bare fingers touch the metal object, a hand cease him.
His head snaps over to the side and he saw the upper angel. Jaeyun blushes out of shame. He doesnât look mad, but heâs looming of something as he stares at him.
âJaeyun,â he calls out like as if he was almost too late.
âYou shouldnât go near this gate.â he added that fueled more to his humiliation.
He didnât know why he got too distracted to this place and comes closer it. He nods his head, lowering it a bit as he retrieve his arm after he let go.
âIâm sorry. It was so beautiful and I got curious so I thought I can have a l-look.â he says.
The upper angel didnât show any bad reaction, but instead he smiles and craned his neck to look over his shoulder. His stares remains for a while before he faced Jaeyun once again.
âThis is the forbidden passage.â he announced that made the younger one astound and left speechless. The color on his face almost drained as his eyes darts at the gate behind the higher ranked angel.
âIt is normal for it to look so alluring. Mainly why the ministers built this big gates to keep angels away from here.â
Jaeyun heard about this passage. It was too popular between the angels. Apparently, there are two passages that exists in this kingdom. One, is the one called the âpassage through lifeâ where angels use to go down the earth. The other one, is the one a few steps away from where Jaeyun is standing. The âforbidden passageâ.
Nobody really knew what its like to be inside over this gate, or at least nobody made it back up here to tell what its like. They said that once you enter this gate and walk to the stairs of sufferings, thereâs no going back. Its dead end for you.
âWe should go.â and he guides him away from the forbidden passage.
Jaeyun gave a last glance to the gate before he lets himself be taken to the right passage he ought to be. Right in front, he can see angels lined up to go do their missions. Excitement once again crept over his chest and smiles starts to paint his face.
âOnce you walk over there, you will know everything you need to know about your human.â the upper angel says smiling a little.
âGoodluck.â
Jaeyun nodded with a big smile before he lines along with the other angel. Anyone can tell from one look how excited and new Jaeyun is to his job. All of them canât help but to spare him some glances, admiring his fascinating visuals that goes along well with his big pretty wings.
âAll right, Jaeyun. We can do this.â he silently cheers himself and his eyes shuts adorably as he takes a step inside the passage.
Thereâs this tingling sensation over Jaeyunâs stomach and when he open his eyes, the first thing he notices is the familiarity of the room. Now, heâs so sure that heâs never been inside this space but it seems like he knew it like the back of his hand. Memories flood his mind, unfamiliar memories. It was obvious that it didnât belong to him.
As he roam his eyes, he kept seeing vague images of a young girl. Seems like the memories belongs to her, to you, his human. The whole room are filled with memories that maybe she cherished for herself and now, Jaeyunâs there to keep them safe with him.
âUgh,â a soft groan sends Jaeyun back to his senses.
When he look over his shoulder, he saw you. Sat in front of your desk, hands over your face looking in distress.
Jaeyun was stoned at his position. He doesnât exactly know what to do at the moment. Heâs basically here for you, but to see a human this close for the first time are fascinating and thrilling for the young angel.
He took courageous steps closer at the side of your table and tilts his head, trying to get a short glimpse of your face.
âAh!â you slam your hands over the table making the angel jolt in surprise, his wings automatically covering him.
âI hate this subject.â you mumbled to yourself unaware of a beautiful pair of eyes watching you silently.
Jaeyunâs wings slowly retrieves. His eyes completely glued at your pretty face. He was lost of words and mind went blank. He felt like he was in clouds, utterly dazed at you. The young angel was unaware of the big smile spreading across his face as he stares even more.
He walks closer, leans his elbow at your table to stare at you carefully. You focused back on your homework and tries hard to understand whatever that is. As you busy yourself with your homework, Jaeyun was busy looking at you.
âHello, y/n.â he whispers to himself as you arenât capable of hearing his words.
He giggles while watching you scratch your head using the end of your pen, looking confused.
Seconds, minutes and hours passed by, Jaeyun didnât get tired of watching you. He walks closer to check what stressing you out. He has no clue about any of it, but nods his head with a slightly furrowed brows. The angel adorably mirrors your emotions and giggles whenever you do cute facial expressions out of distress.
When the clock strikes twelve, Jaeyun notices how your eyes closes from time to time, yawning every five minutes and head bopping as sleep slowly pulls you. He instantly got worried of you hitting the table so he grabs a pillow, making sure none of it will be noticed by you. The sleep basically robbed your complete awareness of the things happening inside your room.
Just in time, Jaeyun slides the pillow before your head falls. He smiles and leans his back at your wall, crossing his arms. A look of satisfaction shows over his face.
Angels can manipulate and hold material things as long as no human will see it. They canât physically touch them because angels donât have that ability. They are also forbidden to use these abilities to their desire. Angels helps to guide people and not decide for them. In the end, humans will make the decisions.
âSleepwell, princess.â he whispers and closes the light of your room so you can sleep more comfortably.
Jaeyun spreads his pretty wings and jumps out from your window. His smiles bigger and brighter than usual. The angel was unaware of whatâs ahead of him.
It started innocent and pure. Jaeyunâs great with his job, he guides you and helps you as much as he can. His knowledge over this world grew along with his fondness over you. You got into Jaeyunâs system so much to the point that the angel couldnât stop talking about you.
They understand it. This is his first mission, his first human. Of course, he will be fascinated. Even angels can be so amused in all of their first times.
They shrug it off and just deals with his nonstop talks about you.
Now, nobody really can blame him. You are a wonderful person, such a great girl. Beautiful, kind, smart and all other good things. People can easily label you as someone that they can look up to. Full of dreams and inspiration. You are the type of girl who will spend your free time in volunteering. Feed stray kittens, help a granny crossing the street, all good stuff.
If Jaeyun discovers good things in this world, he also learned about how people become sinners overtime. How cruel other people can be, being selfish and crimes left and right. He understands why angels are busy these days.
It doesnât bother him too much, all he focus about was you. He cares about you too much.
The very first time he experienced total excitement for you was his first christmas. You squeal as your parents hands you a box. Jaeyun stood close to you, having his heart leaping around in anticipation.
âThey got us a...â his words stall as he stretch his neck to peak through the box. You tear its wrap and even before fully removing it, you screamed and ran towards your parents.
â...what is that, princess?â he whispers and trudge towards you to check the box.
âThank you for getting me my dream phone!â you exclaimed that send Jaeyun in cofusion.
âA phone?â he pouts and saw you unboxing the said gadget. He snorts and sat beside you, watching you enjoy your gift.
âWhy did Mom and Dad got us phone?â he mumbles and rest his head at the back of his palm. âWhat happen on gifting us books to read?â he added, trying to recall how youâre so happy on your birthday.
Regardless, he smiles seeing how happy you looked for it. He sighs and clicked his tongue.
âAs long as youâre happy.â he mumbles.
But its not always happy time. There are days that you feel sad. These are what Jaeyun hates the most. Seeing your pretty eyes water in tears, nose turning slightly red because of crying.
âBaby,â he whispers and squat beside you, wings hanging low.
Your cries breaks his heart. âStop crying, please.â he tries to console you even if thereâs no way you can hear him.
It doesnât matter, he still continues. Your dog just died and it made you so sad that youâre crying so much. Jaeyun couldnât take it and his chest tightens at the sight. He wanted to do something, make you feel better but thereâs just not much he can do. The extent of his powers have limits and this is the first time he wished he had more. That he can do more.
Contentment is one good characteristics one angel have, but Jaeyunâs thoughts arenât mirroring it at one bit.
Time flew by too fast for Jaeyun. He didnât even realized that its been years ever since he started to be your guardian angel. He doesnât think his work as heavy, in fact Jaeyun loves his work. He doesnât get tired over his routine. For him everyday with you is unique and special, he cherish all of them.
âI am happy to present this award to an honorable student,â the principal of your school smiles widely on stage.
âY/n.â she continues and the crowd cheers after your name was mentioned.
You chuckled, standing up to go and get your award. Friends, admirers and other more cheers, supporting you. But out of all, your biggest supporter was stood by the stage, smile so wide, his golden blonde hair sure looks good on him, his lips caught up over his teeth as he clap his hands passionately. Even if heâs invisible to the naked humanâs eyes, that didnât stop Jaeyun from cheering.
His wings spreads so wide and he moves it just enough to blew some wind towards you, adding to your charisma while walking towards the stage. To say that Jaeyun is proud was an understatement, he was beyond that. For him, you are the best. You are the only one.
The young angel was so ignorant of the menacing feelings unfolding at a leisurely pace. He was unaware of the lingering emotions heâs slowly growing inside of him, bigger than his wings, deeper than his thoughts and stronger than his love to serve the almighty.
It started to awoke this feelings when you turned seventeen. Start of a new schoolyear, you are so excited for this because you finally moved in to a bigger campus.
Jaeyun whistles, both hands inside his pocket while he leans over the wall right outside the girlâs bathroom. Heâs waiting patiently for you because you went inside to go your business.
âYouâre y/n, right?â Jaeyun lifts his head and saw three girls approaching you.
He pushed himself off from the wall to walk closer, âYes.â he heard you answer.
Jaeyun looked curious as he stand close behind you, listening along to what these girls wants from you. His wings automatically wrapped around you, trapping both of you inside it.
âIâm Jeena.â she smiles, but Jaeyun didnât retrieve.
âWe want to be friends with you.â the one on her left added after she introduced herself too.
You smiled and nodded at them. Jaeyunâs lips pursed into a pout and lean forward to check your expression. He glanced back at the three girls and vaguely squint his eyes like heâs watching them closely.
The next day, you looked excited while waiting by the school gate. Jaeyun beside you smiles, watching you happily. One girl notices you and asked you why you havenât entered the school yet.
âIâm waiting for Jeena.â you answered.
Jaeyunâs brows furrowed and he snap his head over your way. âJeena? From yesterday?â he asks and walks closer, his face inches away from you.
âAre they our new friends, princess?â Jaeyun asks again, watching your eyes.
âY/n!â your head turns to your side and you waved happily.
When you approach Jeena, you walk through Jaeyun and he craned his neck to follow you with his head. He canât explain how to feel when he saw how big your smiles and your giggles sounded so good to his ears. Even if heâs a little cautious about this, he couldnât help but to smile too. He started walking, following behind you like a loyal dog.
Jaeyun didnât know things will escalate pretty quickly after that. From having new friends, admirers started appearing as well causing his distress. The emotions that are blooming inside his chest are so foreign for him, so new that he donât know how to react from it.
Even before he can stop himself, Jaeyun already stick his foot and tripped the young boy. He fell face first in front of the other students on the hallway. You gasped, surprised at what just happened. Giggles, teasings and worried remarks errupted around. Jaeyun stood at his ground, face placid as he stare at the guy trying to get back from his feet.
Jaeyun was called to report right away. Of course the minister of upper angels cannot let what he just did to slide. He just flout their rules and it needs to be addressed.
He bows, avoiding to look at him straight to the eyes. He is guilty, but what fascinates him is that he didnât regret doing it.
âIâm pretty sure you know why we ask you here, right?â
He lifts his head and nods. âIâm sorry, Sir. I didnât know what got into me. It just happened.â
The upper angel didnât respond right away. He pursed his lips. âJealousy.â
Jaeyun was left speechless. He doesnât know what to say or if he needs to say anything. This emotions is not new for him. He heard it before, but he knew angels shouldn't be feeling this.
âMaybe youâre starting to get too attached to your human. It is somehow given as you two basically spend everyday together.â his eyes reflects how confused and worried Jaeyun is.
âBut you need to remember that you have to let her go. You are there only to guide them and not meddle with their life.â the upper angel added that left Jaeyun with no choice but to nod his head.
The younger angel was feeling a lot of emotions, chest tightening trying to hold on all of them. He felt sad, ashamed, regretful and some he cannot utterly distinguish. Jaeyun kept his head low in agony. He never felt this way before, its so hefty.
âYou mustâve find it hard to deal with it. This is the first time you encounter this emotion anyway. Jealousy is a strong one too.â he claps his hand over his shoulder to send some solace to him.
âBut you know whatâs stronger?â
Jaeyun lifts his head, he raised both of his brows in anticipation of whatâs the older is about to say. His hand kept his hand to his shoulder so he wonât move away.
âLove.â he smiles softly.
The younger was at dazed, trying to process what he just said.
âDonât be too affected about this small mistakes. Take it as a step to make yourself better.â
Jaeyun stares right through his eyes and nodded his head. Before long he was given a warning for the disagreeable behavior he showed. He didn't complained and accepted it wholeheartedly with awareness of his own actions.
Eventually, he was back to you. Somehow, his sadness subsided at the sight of your peaceful face while sleeping. He smiles and carefully approaches closer. He sighs and stretched his arm to gently caress your face using his hand.
âIâm sorry, princess.â he whispers and turned off your lamp then pulled the blanket to cover you properly.
Jaeyun tries not to do the same mistakes. He smiles whenever youâre happy, pout whenever youâre sad and still help you with small things. He make sure that all heâs doing is not disobeying any of their rules. To prevent himself from getting into more trouble and to serve his main purpose here.
âI like you, Nicholas.â
One afternoon, at the back building, while everyone else arenât around, you quietly asked him to meet you right here then nervously confessed to the boy right in front of you.
You are unsure if this is the right thing to do or if he will respond the way you wanted him to, but thatâs the least you care. It is normal for teens to experience these emotions. They said itâs even a wonderful phase of life where young love may bloom.
Jaeyunâs gaze turns away from where you are. He once again got occupied by this unpleasant emotion he once experience not too long ago. He still didnât know how to react, but he is certain he ought to stand right there and do nothing.
The boyâs face remains placid as he stares at you without saying anything. Nicholas is pretty much one of the popular boys not only in your class, but also around the whole campus. Heâs part of the soccer team, smart, from a good family, well reserved man and heâs very good looking.
You arenât so bad yourself. A lot of guys admires you too. It isnât easy to please thatâs why not all are privileged enough to gain some of your attention.
Nicholas does, tho. Thereâs just something about his quiet demeanor that makes your stomach wrench. Some of your friends says it happens when you like someone. This is the first time youâve encountered it and he does make you blush whenever you two made eyecontact.
âArenât you going to say something?â
Jaeyun sighs, releasing some of the tension over him. He leans at the wall a little bit far from where the two of you, making sure heâs giving enough distance.
âI have nothing to say.â short and cold. You are surprised to his response. A slight sting bloom over your chest.
Unable to say anything while you contemplate whether you are hurt or humiliated, Jaeyun took steps towards you and protectively cover you with his wings like usual. His dagger like eyes stared right to Nicholas while he stand behind you.
For some reason, you felt warm a some part were lifted, making you feel more at ease. You nodded your head after letting out a sigh.
âA-All right. Sorry for wasting your time.â and you didnât wait anymore. You turned your heels and left him standing alone.
Embarrassed about it, you silently pray that Nicholas wonât say a word about it to any of your friends. The two of you are at the same circle, mainly why you grew a crush on him. Your group spend a lot of time together these days.
Jaeyun was furious at how obnoxious Nicholas was at you, but he felt relieved that youâre not having boyfriends yet. You on the other hand, felt even more motivated to pursue Nicholas. You arenât used of losing.
âItâs okay, princess.â he saw you stood right by the corridor, spacing out. He smiles a little and even pat your head.
âYou will find someone worthy.â
Jealousy isnât the only one that Jaeyun will discover. He was stoned at his position one night, heart thumping so loud, cheeks burning and beads of sweat forming on his forehead.
He doesnât know where exactly to look, his head panning left and right totally unease. He gulped feeling slightly shorten of breath.
Your moans once again errupts around your silent room. It sounded too lewd for Jaeyun to ignore so easily. Seems like not only him discovers things as you are now learned to pleasure yourself alone.
Another soft whimpers echoes through his ears and mind that agitates something bad for him. He gulpes and forcefully turns around in attempt to leave you for tonight. He may have gone away, but the sound and memories of you that night was vividly kept inside Jaeyunâs mind, causing something corrupt to linger in him.
âCome on! Iâm sure you know more about the forbidden passage.â Jaeyunâs restless. Heâs now with some of the angels, lined up for their daily report.
The other one sighed, finding it amusing how heâs extra curious about that. Jaeyunâs always hyper, but heâs never someone to be like this.
âFine.â he surrenders and Jaeyun cheers as they both hurry to report then met to spend some free time together.
âWhy are you so curious about it anyway?â
Jaeyun tries not to act suspicious about it and just shrugges his shoulder off. âIâm just curious about it.â
âThey said the forbidden passage was opened by the first fallen angel. He was known in the kingdom even before the incident because of his heavenly face. His wings were also big and very beautiful, it said it was one of a kind none surpassed it until now. He was an epitome of beauty.â he starts and unknowingly eyes Jaeyunâs big pretty wings behind him.
âHe gravely fell in love with a human and exchanged his wings for mortality. Afterwards gave his soul as well to have all the good things that world can offer.â
Jaeyunâs lip gaped at what heâs hearing. Almost everything has tainted the angelâs rules and principles.
âBut thatâs not all.â he says and pursed his lips, hesitating to tell him what happens next.
âWhat?â
âThey said that despite everything he sacrificed, the girl didnât returned his feelings. It put him in so much agony and despair, he couldnât accept it. So the fallen angel exchanged his heart for three unbounded wishes.â
Jaeyunâs breathing slows down at what he heard. He never knew angels can do that.
âGreed took upon him so with no hesitation, he offers his heart, ask for his first wish. And that is to live one last time on earth. You know that once heart was offered for something that doesnât go along with the will of the almighty, you cannot come back here nor reincarnate. You are to live at the underworld to suffer forever.â the words sent chills over Jaeyunâs body.
The underworld are a place of the unfortunate and sinful. It said to be filled with anger, greed, lust, pain and all that cause suffering.
âWhatâs his second wish?â
âThat the love of his life falls in love with him in the last time he will be alive.â his tone sounded like he felt sympathy for the fallen angel.
âAnd the third?â Jaeyun couldnât help, but to ask more.
âIt was unknown. Only he knows about it.â
Jaeyun was lost with his own thoughts. All these informations that coming to him are too much to process anything in mind.
âAre you all right, Jaeyun?â he sounded worried for him.
He was quick to pull a smile for him, hiding that somethingâs bothering him. Hiding that some dark ideas are slowly forming at the back of his mind.
âYes, of course!â
He nodded, âAnyway, donât think about the forbidden passage too much. It doesnât just open to every angel.â
âWhat do you mean?â the crease over Jaeyunâs forehead deepens.
âOnly one that has deep desire can only open the gates.â
He was left stoned at his position. Even after the angel bid goodbye, Jaeyunâs spacing out. Heâs thinking about the fallen angel, what happened to him, the sacrifices he did. All of that went to nothing. Is it all worth it? His wings, soul and heart for a one lifetime with the love of his life?
Even if Jaeyun silently admits to himself that the idea of exchanging his wings to live on earth occured to him, he wasnât that sure if heâs determined to do it. Afterall, it will cost him everything.
But he didnât know that the answer he was waiting for will come running his way instantly.
It was a dreadful day for you. It was raining heavily, people around you are all wearing black and silently mourning along with you. Your mother died and you couldnât be more broken.
It happened too fast that you canât believe any of it. Multiple times you prayed that all of this was just a dream. How can your life turn upside down in a short span of time? This is truly unbelievable.
âM-Mom,â you cried once alone inside your bed. Your slumped on ground at the middle of your room.
âMom!â you screamed in so much agony.
âPlease donât leave me.â you whispered as tears flows nonstop in sorrow. âIâm all alone now.â you added.
Jaeyun stood a few feet away from you, eyes filled with tears. Heâs so hurt seeing you like this. How can the world be so unfair and cruel to someone so pure? It made him question a lot of things. While watching you cry to your limit, broke everything in him. He wanted to do more. He want to hug you, comfort you and tell you that you arenât alone because heâs there. He will always be there for you.
Jaeyun trudges closer to you. He bent down, feeling every bits of him breaking apart before caging the two of you inside his wings as he cries and stays beside you. He shut his eyes close, fist balled, heart thumped faster. He then realized that heâs useless, he couldnât even protect you like how he wanted to. Something deep, powerful emotion grew inside of him.
âIâll be here for you, baby. Always.â
Jaeyun knew he needed to do something. He realized that he couldnât protect you like this. That guiding you was not enough for him. He needed more. He wanted more.
After crying yourself to sleep, Jaeyun lifts you up and places you over the bed. His desire to be with you somehow dissipates the rules to not physically touch you. It was not allowed, but he could not care more.
He placed a chaste kiss on top of your head. âIâll be back, princess.â he pulls away and smiles softly. âThis time, I will protect you properly.â and he flew back with nothing but the desire of being with you.
Just a step closer to the gate and it opens right away. Jaeyun gulped and halted for a while, not because he's hesitating but because he needs to collect his thoughts. He promised himself that he wonât let greed take over the best of him. He wonât be like the first fallen angel.
He steps inside and the gate closes right away. Inside was a dreamy place, the perfect place to lure angels in. The staircase looked more enticing and at the end of it was a shrine.
âWelcome,â his head snaps over to the side when he heard somebody talked.
There, beside the stairs is a man wearing an all black suit. His hands inside the pockets. Surprisingly, he doesnât look like how the humans expect fallen angels to look like. He looked ethereal, but thereâs a different aura that heâs giving off.
âIâve already seen you before, Jaeyun.â he says with a smile.
He didn't say anything and just stare at the man. He chuckled like as if Jaeyun did something funny.
âIâm Samael, btw. The gatekeeper for the forbidden passage.â he smirks.
âI want to exchange my wings and live on earth.â he says straight to the point.
The manâs mouth gaped and his eyes sparkles in amusement.
âOh, someone arrogant. Its been a while since the last one like you.â he steps closer to Jaeyun. âHe looked so heavenly too and his wings,â his hands extends near his wings and continues, âtheyâre pretty too just like yours.
He kept silent and just wait to what the man will say next.
âLet me guess?â he put his hand over his chin and acts as if heâs thinking about something.
âA girl?â
Jaeyun gulped and glanced away. It made the man bark a fit of laughter. Enjoying that he got it right. It isnât the first time one angel came rushing in for love. Its actually the most common reason why they go here.
âOh well,â he nods his head. âI wonât delay you anymore.â
He walks back in front of Jaeyun and extends his hand, soon a big knife appears over his hand.
âAre you sure about this? Once done, you cannot take it back.â
Your face flashes through his mind. âIâm sure.â
The man chuckles, amused. He nodded and plays with his knife. âLet me cut your wings.â
He steps closer and Jaeyun shut his eyes as the man cut off his wings. It was very painful, but he didnât showed any regret. The feeling without his wings are very odd for him. A part of him shatters at the thought of not having them anymore, but the desire to be with you are stronger.
He threw Jaeyunâs wings beneath his feet and smiles evily. âYou have to drag these wings up to the top.â
Jaeyun nods and started to climb up the stairs of suffering. It wasnât easy. Each step he took, he feels like his wings gets more heavier. He was almost out of breath once he arrived by the shrine.
âEasy, right?!â he jolted when the man appeared right in front of him.
âI want to exchange my soul.â
He laughs, âYou are really interesting arenât you?â he crossed his arms. âYou do know that your soul serves as your ticket back here.â
Jaeyun nodded. âI want to exchange it.â
âIf you say so.â the man moves his hand and something came out from Jaeyun. He trapped it inside his palm with a big grin on his face like as if he just won something.
âHeart?â
Jaeyun shakes his head. It didnât wipe out the smirk on the manâs face. He nodded again and tilt his head over to the entrance.
When he stood right in front of it, the man was a few feet away from him, watching.
âYou remind me so much of him.â he suddenly said.
âWho?â Jaeyun asks, looking over to his shoulder.
âThe first fallen angel.â
âI will try my best not to end up his way. Iâm nothing like him.â Jaeyun argues.
The man smirks and tilt his head, âAre you now?â
Even before he can respond, something pulls him towards the entrance and he soon fell in a deep slumber. Jaeyun lost his wings and soul, but gained the ability to be with you.
The death of your mother caused a drastic change in you. Yes, youâre slowly coping up but the lost was just too much that you feel like you can never be the same again.
Itâs not like you are really alone. You still have your dad. But heâs always too busy with work, unable to really give you the attention you need. The person who was there for you all the time was your Mom, and now that sheâs gone, you are beyond heart broken.
Her sweet memories are what kept you going. The dreams you two built together is what pushing you to continue your life despite of a grave lost. You knew your mom will not be too happy to see you crying every night for her. So you try your best to live your life.
It was the second week of your new school year and its a normal day. You are about to rest your head to your table when Jeena came rushing inside your classroom. Her smile so big as she tries to hold her screams.
âWhat happened to you?â
She stops, catching her breath. âWe have a transferee!â she cheers and even fan herself, acting so delirious.
You scoffed and roll your eyes before glancing away. As doing so, your gaze met Nicholas' eyes. He didnât look away and you arenât bothered to look away as well. If it wasnât for your homeroom teacher arriving, the stares will remain.
âOkay, class. Kindly go to your respective seats.â all your head snaps in front and follows what your teacher said.
Jeena still seemed thrilled about it as she couldnât stay still at her chair. She tugs your arm to pull and whisper something.
âI saw the new guy!â she giggled. âHeâs so handsome!â it was impossible to hide the excitement through her tone.
You smirked at her, âYeah?â no interest can be sensed from you. She pouts and rolls her eyes.
âPromise! I think I just fell in love.â her eyes almost form into these heart shapes that you find somehow hilarious.
Its not like this is the first time Jeena has a crush on someone. She's actually the type to like every good looking guy on your batch. Its also not the serious type, sometimes its just happy crush where she giggles while coming across the hallway.
You didnât give much thought to it and didnât realize that your teacher just asked the new comer inside. The class ware fascinated. You heard some of the girls gasps in utter shock, some were left totally speechless. The boys have more chill reactions compared to the girls, but you can see some amusement from them as well.
With full on curiosity, you glanced in front and your lips instantly gapped. Your heart thumped faster and everything seems to be in a slow motion. You canât explain what you are feeling at the moment. He was dead gorgeous. Black hair thatâs a bit longer than the usual hair of guys on your class, puppy-like eyes, pointed nose and plump sinful lips. The words arenât even capable of describing him in total detail. He was like an angel sent from heaven.
His eyes scanned the whole room carefully and when it met yours, he stopped. Your breath hitched and your lungs feels like its being pressed out of air. His eyes looks so dreamy.
âHeâs looking at me! Oh my gosh, y/n.â your head snaps to the side when Jeena spoke.
Suddenly, your blushing cheeks are not because of the guyâs pretty eyes but because you feel embarrassed for actually thinking he was looking at you. Yes, you may be pretty popular to your school but Jeenaâs always ahead of you. So if thereâs someone heâs eyeing, you bet its her.
You tried to shove off all these thoughts and just proceed on listening to your teacherâs short introduction for the transferee.
The thumping of your heart resumed the moment you met eyes, well you assumed, with the new guy. Heâs still looking at your way when you glanced back. You cleared your throat and pursed your lips.
âIâm Jake Sim.â his short introduction made everyone more interested of him.
Itâs a little odd for you, tho. His visuals are breathtaking and gives off sweet boy vibes, but his aura and the way he acts says otherwise. You couldnât really tell how he really is. Heâs hard to read.
âNow, his family just moved from Australia so please make sure to make Jake comfortable. Okay?â your teacher reminds and the whole class answered âyesâ in unison.
She asked him to sat a few seats away from you then she continues with her lecture. The girl classmates near him started to steal glances at him and even tries to crack a conversation. That made Jeena groan and roll her eyes in envious. Your eyes glanced away from the scene, focusing to the board in front trying to seal whatever that emotion is growing inside your chest.
You have no idea when did it start or how did it happen, but all of a sudden Jake Sim has been the talk of the whole campus. From being the random transferee from Australia to one of the campus crushes. He also started hanging out with your group of friends since most of your boy friends found him cool.
Jeena also seemed to like Jake very much. Sheâs always around him, vividly show signs that sheâs interested and youâre actually surprised by her behavior. Sheâs never the type to be like this. This is the first time you saw her acting this way.
On the other hand, while everyone finds it easy and normal to interact with him, you donât. Thereâs just something with him that makes your every nerves wreck. You cannot even keep your stares at him for a long time. You feel like your heart will burst out from your chest. He just makes you so nervous.
âIâm telling you dude, youâll totally have fun!â you can hear Jay while youâre walking towards their table.
âY/n is here!â Jeena shouts that made everyone to your table snap their heads to your direction.
You smiled and it faltered when you saw the one beside her. Jake Sim have his infamous smirk while staring at you, gaze arenât leaving you even just for a second.
âHey, Y/n. Practice done?â Heeseung asks and even pushed a chair so you can sit beside him. You smiled brightly and nod your head.
Nicholas is sitting on the other chair beside you and you can feel him staring at you. These days, youâve noticed how heâs being more attentive of you. It suppose to make you excited about it as he is your crush for a year now, but suddenly he doesnât seem that interesting anymore.
âYouâre late.â he says and even slides a water towards you.
âThey hold us for a bit because of club meeting.â you thanked him and get the glass to drink from it.
âOMG! Are you two finally dating?!â
Your eyes snapped towards Jeena when she suddenly screamed. Everyone then started teasing you and Nicholas that made you chuckle a little. Your eyes unconsciously darted over at the quiet boy beside her and your smile faltered.
Jake Simâs eyes are blank and he looked annoyed for some reason. You have no idea as to why the said boyâs face reflects irritation, but you just chose to ignore it.
âStop being nosy, Jeena.â Nicholas stated, but thereâs a smile over his lips.
âWhatever!â she says and rolled her eyes before going back on talking to Jake.
Your eyes glanced away from the scene and thankfully Heeseung opens up a topic about one subject. The routine remains the same for you. School and friends are the ones that keeping you busy, keeping your mind off from your late mother.
As days passes by, youâve noticed how Nicholas are starting to open up with you as well. Even if youâre a little confused why heâs suddenly giving you attention, you didnât give much thought to it and just go with the flow.
But your mind are always occupied by Jake Sim. Thereâs just something that kept pulling you towards him. You both rarely interacts and most of it was done by him.
âOne water and one banana milk, please.â he says one breaktime. Your head lifts when a handâs giving you a drink out of nowhere.
With confused eyes you look at the person and it was him. âH-Huh?â
He smirks, eyes softening at your cute reaction. âHere,â he places the drink carefully to your hand. âThatâs the last one. I know its your favorite.â he says and casually walked away.
You are stoned at your position after the interaction. A lot of questions formed inside your mind. Why did Jake Sim suddenly talked to you? Why did he gave you a drink acting so casual about it? And most of all, how did he know your favorite drink?
These interactions didnât last there. You donât know if heâs doing all of it because he wants to be friends with you or he have something else in mind. Not to be too assuming or full of yourself, but you rarely, if not never, seen him being too interactive to others. Usually he just nods, smirks and chuckles lightly with them. Never giving free drinks, carrying lunch trays, helping with school chores and other more.
âItâs still hot,â he stops you from sipping your soup. You blinked, a bit confused.
His eyes stares at you with the usual soft looks on them before he pull your bowl closer to him to cool your soup down. Blush came rushing through your cheeks while some of your friends were left in utter shock. Theyâve been noticing this for a couple of weeks already. Nobody just dares to question it.
Jeena started to act cold around you as well. Youâve tried to ask her about it, but she just ignores you. Itâs making you so sad. Sheâs been your friends for years already so you donât like having misunderstandings with her.
You figured that maybe sheâs avoiding you because of Jake, so you started to distance yourself from him. But Jake fucking Sim didnât understand the assignment, because he makes sure damn well that he is doing things for you. That his presence around you is very well known.
âLet me pay for that.â yet again Jake Sim is here.
Youâre at the cafeteria buying a drink for Jeena to try and fix things between the two of you and now the main reason (your guess) of Jeenaâs cold treatment towards you is here.
Jakeâs hand is stretched towards the lady by the counter and she was about to accept it but you beat her into it. You placed your cash on her palm and shoot glares to the boy next to you. He glanced at you with a furrow on his brows.
âWhat are you doing?â your tone sounds so accusing.
His eyebrow slightly raised, âPaying for you.â
âBut you donât have to do that!â
âI want to.â
You rolled your eyes and accepted the change from the lady before turning your heels, attempting go get away from him. Jakeâs fast reflexes refused to let you leave as he hold you by your arm.
âWhat?â
âWhere are you going?â he asks.
His stares made your stomach wrench and blush flushing your cheeks so you quickly glanced away.
âNone of your business.â and you shove his hold off then run away.
Jake smirks, enjoying his effect on you. For him, he can settle with this kind of interaction for the mean time. Heâs not rushing anything. Whatâs important is that heâs here for you everytime.
After taking off, you searched for Jeena to give her the drink you just bought. It wasnât that hard to look for her since thereâs just few places she likes to spend her free times. You smiled at the sight of her and quickly walked closer.
âHey Jeena,â you started. She glanced at your way and the displease on her reaction made your heart crack a little. Her eyes stares at you blankly as she draws a sigh.
âWhat do you want?â she sound so uninterested.
âI just want to say sorry.â your lips pursed. âI donât know what did I do wrong for you toââ
Jeena stood up and she looked extremely pissed. âYou donât know?â her sarcasm lingers over her tone.
She scoffed unamused, âI canât believe that youâre this kind of person, Y/n.â
âW-What...â
âYou know that I like him!â she took a step closer that made you step backward, starting to feel scared of her.
âYou know very well I like Jake Sim and yet you seduced him!â her accusations sounded so unbelievable for you. You almost thought that sheâs not serious about it, but nerves almost shows on her neck that indicates how mad she is.
âNo, I didnât.â you defended yourself.
âLiar!â she pushed you over your shoulder and you lost your balance.
âI trusted you! I thought youâre my friend!â she says with a tone of disappointment before she kicked the drink that lays a few feet away from you.
She marched away and youâre left in complete trance. The shock from what just happened just disabled you from moving. After finally snapping back to reality, you stood up and went to search again for Jeena.
As much as you feel hurt from what she accused you, you canât just let her get mad with you. Jeena is your closest friend. She was somehow there for you from time to time. Losing somebody is the least you want to happen again to your life.
Youâre about to walk over the corner when you heard a familiar voice talking.
âSo that was it?â it was Nicholas.
Your steps halted and your brows furrowed, curious to who is he talking to. But these thoughts were blocked when you heard Jeenaâs voice.
âWhat do you want, Nicholas?â
âYou really like that jerk?â a hint of annoyance, disbelief and pain lurks over his tone.
Still confused about whatâs goin on, you decided to listen for a bit more.
âAnd what if I do?â
âIs that why you broke up with me? Because of that asshole?â
Your lips gapped at what he said. This is not what youâre expecting to happen. Nicholas and Jeena? But she knew you like him. Even if you arenât that passionate about it, you knew she knows you like him.
Jeena groaned, âWhy is it such a big deal to you? Youâre going for y/n anyway!â she screams and bitterness looms on her tone when she said your name.
Your heart ache after realizing whatâs it about. Jeena and Nicholas was in a relationship secretly while you like him. The times when sheâs teasing you with him flashes through your mind. While sheâs doing that, she was in a relationship with him? You are lost of words.
âIâm only doing that to make you jealous!â Nicholas' voice raised. That was the first time you heard him raise his tone. Heâs always the calm type.
Something pricked your heart after what he just said. You may not like Nicholas that way anymore, but to hear such betrayal sure hurt you a lot.
Even before you realize it, someone walks pass by you to go confront them. With wide eyes you followed Jake to try and stop him. It was too late because he already punched Nicholas.
âJake!â you screamed.
âYou fucking fuck!â he looked so mad. His intimidating aura shifts into something more scary.
Jeena looked surprised as well. Nicholas is down at the ground, unable to even fight back. You screams and approached closer to stop Jake before he broke Nicholas' nose. You saw that he throw punches over Jake as well, but heâs stronger than him.
âJake! Thatâs enough!â Jeena screamed.
âGet off of me!â Nicholas.
âIâm going to fucking kill you.â
Your eyes watered because of whatâs happening at the moment. You canât seem to think of anything else but to blame yourself for all of these. Jake even got involved because of you. A part of you felt bad for him.
âJ-Jake...â you softly called him.
You arenât sure if he even heard you, but he stopped so you assumed he did. He craned his neck to look over his shoulder. Your tear stained eyes broke him.
âP-Please, enough.â you added, unable to really talk loudly anymore. Everything is just too much.
He clenched his jaw and like an obedient puppy called by his owner, he stood up and walked towards you. He cupped your face and eyes softens as he scanned you carefully. Your heart aches again at the sight of his bruised face.
âAre you okay, baby?â he asks.
Your soft cries hurts Jake.
âI w-want to leave.â the main intention of why you say those words are unknown, but one thingâs for sure, Jakeâs willing to do anything for you.
The following events are blur and the next thing you knew, you are inside the infirmary. Jakeâs sitting in front of you, eyes completely fixed at your direction. Heâs not saying anything at all so its starting to feel awkward.
Both of you snapped out of trance when the nurse walked closer holding a kit. âLet me put medicine to your bruises, Jake.â she says in her soft voice, matching it with her sweet smile.
Jakeâs eyes lazily trailed towards her and the placid look on his face intimidates the nurse making her smile falter.
âY/n can do that.â he shortly stated and glanced back at you. The sudden eye contact made you jolt and panic a bit, your head turns to the nurse. Sheâs looking at you with a confused and slight fear on her eyes.
A small smile is what you gave her before you gently reached for the kit then bowed to thank her. She was left with no choice but to leave the two of you alone. Jake seemed pleased after that as his face softens and relaxes while watching you prepare the ointments for his bruise.
The corner of his lips lifts a little as he leaned back using his palms to support himself.
âYou s-shouldnât have done that.â you stuttered and hated it. Eitherway, you tried to keep your cool then focused on the task you need to do. The burning gazes the young man throwing at you are making it hard, but you tried hard to ignore it.
âI want to.â he answered quickly that made your hand stop from rummaging over the kit.
You sighed, calming the rushing beating of your heart. At this rate, you knew being around him is not healthy for you. You feel like this rate of heartbeat can kill you.
When you finally found the courage to face him, your eyes laid only a few seconds on Jakeâs affectionate ones. His eyes were already darted at you, like as if anticipating even the shortest contact. His smiles grew bigger after and bit his lower lip, finding you so adorable.
He chuckles that made you narrow your brows and glance at him again.
âWhatâs so funny?â you fired him that question, a little irritated. The cotton bud that you are holding are near his lips when you lift your gaze to see him with drunken eyes. Half-lidded and with a dangerous grin playing over his luscious lips.
âIts because youâre so far from me. Move closer. I have a lot of room for you.â his husky voice just makes you feel more nervous. He widen his legs, providing enough space between it. Trying to act cool, you sighed and stood in front of Jake. A pleased smile spread across the handsome face of the young man.
âThere we go,â he sighs like this is a very fun thing for him. Heâs enjoying it. âThat isnât so bad, right?â he whispers that you ignored.
You blinked and tried to calm your heartbeats. It was crazy at this point. Your body feels hot, your heart is racing and your hands are shaking. Jakeâs eyes moved from your eyes down to your trembling hands. He felt a sting over his lips when you try to put the ointment, but it didnât stop him from smirking.
âYouâre shaking.â he stated. He lifts his hand and held your hand firmly. The warmth from it transfers to yours, but just made your heart thumped even faster.
âBaby,â he chuckles and caress your hand using his thumb. ârelax.â he added.
At the end, you gave up trying to conceal whatever that is that youâre feeling. You groaned and then sighed heavily.
âIâm sorry. Its just youâre m-making me nervous.â you admits and stared at his eyes.
The pleased expression of him didnât slipped off from you and his eyes brightens.
âWhy?â he asked curiously.
Your face flushed and you rolled your eyes at him. âWhatever! Just quit playing around, Iâm trying to deal with your bruises.â you let out frustratingly.
You were never comfortable around Jake Sim. Itâs very odd even for you because youâve never been like this to anyone. Youâre usually good at making friends and around guys, but with him its just different.
Whenever heâs around, you feel like youâre heart will burst out from your ribcage, your fingers are restless, you canât even stand eye contact and you canât take physical touch with him. Youâll feel like youâll pass out. Youâve liked Nicholas and your friends had introduced you to these feelings, but what you feel with Jake is just way stronger.
âWhy are you always mad at me?â his tone does not sound mad or anything. He sounded curious.
âIâm n-not mad at you.â you tried assuring him.
He tilts his head, âAre you sure?â
You glanced at him and nod your head right after. He nods his head, satisfied.
âThen why avoid me?â
âIâm not.â
âLiar.â he smirks.
You rolled your eyes. âI donât know. Maybe because Iâm not used to being around you.â
He nods his head and smiled downwards. Your eyes stared, fascinated about his looks. He then smiled brightly.
âBy any chance, do you like dogs?â he ask you so randomly which you end up answering with a nod.
âDonât you think youâre cheating?â Jake didnât even falter from watching you when Samael, one of the gate keepers of the forbidden passage suddenly appears.
He rolled his eyes, already used to the presence of the said gate keeper. Normal humans unable to see him, but since Jakeâs case is different, heâs stuck with him. Heâs been showing up from time to time to either give him small hints for things or just tease him around. He kept asking him why heâs showing up but never once he received a definite answer. He just gave up and accepted his random visits.
âYou lured her using your dog because you knew very well she used to have one that looked exactly like the dog you just adopted.â Samael stated and even leaned over the railing to watch you play around Layla, Jakeâs dog.
âCanât you see that sheâs happy?â
Samael pursed his lips then nods his head in agreement. âWell, good job I guess?â his tone taunting.
Jake chuckles and kept his eyes at you. He invited you in his house and introduced you with his pet, Layla. Youâve fallen in love ever since.
âJake!â you shouts his name and he waved his hand once.
âCome here!â he nods and jogs towards your direction before Samael disappears into thin air.
For other people, Jake seems to be a cold, mysterious and reserved type of guy. But with you, heâs completely different. Heâs very generous with the things he want to share you, he smiles a lot, very gentle, attentive and affectionate.
After getting close with Jake, you started to feel more ease around him. It actually got better. The butterflies in your stomach are still there, but theyâre manageable.
Things between Jeena fell apart. Even if you wanted to fix things between the two of you, she already felt distant. Nicholas tried to talked to you, but Jakeâs not letting him get that chance. You told him off as well because you donât want Jake to be pissed that can lead to another brawl.
âHow come you just moved here?â you ask one afternoon while you and Jake hangs out to his house.
Youâre at their garden, laying on your stomach and him on his back while Layla runs around chasing some butterfly. Jake puts his hand right in front your mouth, offering a grape. Heâs smiling so widely.
âI donât know. Why? You wished you met me sooner?â he asks teasing you.
You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks flushed at what he said. A part of you aches and rejoys at that very moment. You knew the lost of your Mom scarred you for life and finding Jake somehow heals you. But no matter how much you hate to admit it, you still feel somethingâs missing. Your heart stil aches.
You snapped back to reality when Jakeâs hand graze gently over your hair, hanging some loose strands to your ear.
âI wished I knew you sooner too.â his words sounded so sincere. His eyes silently communicating to you.
âThank you for being there when nobody was, Jake.â you told him.
For you, that might mean thanking him for the past months youâve been spending your time with him. But for Jake, it was the whole duration that he knew you. From when he was an angel, until heâs a human. It tugs something in his heart. He knew he loves you and that heâs down bad for you, but this time heâs sure that thereâs no turning back. Thereâs no more rising from his feelings for you.
âJaeyun,â he says that made you furrow your brows a bit, confused.
That was the first time he ever said his angel name ever since he stepped foot here on earth.
âCall me Jaeyun, baby.â he added that made your eyes looked so soft, heart thumping along with the beats of his.
âJaeyun...â you mumbled so gently that almost made him crazy.
A tear formed your eyes before Jake pulls you close to his body, caging you into a tight embrace.
That just made your relationship with Jake even more better. After that you two are inseparable. Itâs like thereâs already an unwritten message that you two felt the same way and nobody can come between you.
âYou should go home now.â you said while still holding Jakeâs hand. He walked you home after spending the whole day together.
He smiles, âGo inside first, baby. Iâll go once youâre in.â
You pout that made him chuckle. He pulled you close and kisses you over your temple.
âGo.â he says again.
You are left with no choice but to nod your head and leaned in to give him a swift kiss at his lips. That stunned Jake completely. You flushed when you felt him stiffened. Embarrassed of what you just did, you are about to run home when he grabbed you by your wrist.
âNot so fast,â he says in a low tone. âBaby you canât just leave after what you pulled.â
He embraced you, nuzzling your neck. Your heartâs beating so loudly that you are sure he heard it. He smiles and slowly pulls away then cups your face. You returned his smile with a flushed cheeks. He leaned making your noses touch and caress it gently before he tilts his head to give you a sweet slow kiss.
Beneath the bright moon, your heart beat got in sync together as a signal of a love blooming between one another. One love that only comes once in a million.
âI love you, Y/n.â he says.
âI love you, Jaeyun.â and you nuzzle over his chest.
The smile over Jakeâs lips almost brighten the night. On his way home, he couldnât stop giggling to himself.
âYour lips will tear off any minute now.â
He jumps in surprise. âWhy do you keep showing this way, Samael?â he asked a little mad.
Samael smirked, showing off his dimple. âIâm bored.â he shrugs his shoulder off.
âDonât you have a passage to guard?â
âNot a lot of angels have that kind of desire to open that gate, Jake.â
He didnât talk right away so Samael took the opportunity to speak again.
âArenât you going to offer your heart?â
Jake furrowed his brows, âNo. Why would I do that? Everythingâs going well.â
âAre you sure about that?â
Even if heâs a little confused, Jake nods his head and dismissed the gate keeper. He felt bothered, but just ignored it. You and him are completely fine.
Or so he thought...
Because despite of being happy around him. Despite feeling so much joy and contentment around Jake, your heart still felt heavy. Your Dad are mistreating you, only pointing out your wrongs and never giving care towards you. He was always the workaholic type, but this is just too much for you. Its like you donât have a family.
Your Mom suffered with him, staying in a marriage that are so cold and dull. You are the only reason she stays and now she left you too because your Father, the one who suppose to be the one protecting and keeping your family together, broke it. He had an affair with somebody else and your mother couldnât take such betrayal so she took her own life.
And now, you couldnât believe your own eyes when he walked inside your house, a lady linking her arms on his.
âY/n,â he calls. âThis is (name). Your new mom.â he announced that broke you into pieces.
It was like your Dad didnât care at all. He didnât care to you or to your late mother. Heâs disrespecting not only his marriage, but your own Mom. You couldnât take it. Your heart that has a hole on it felt like being teared apart once again. Your heart that Jake tries to make whole are being ripped into pieces.
âSheâs not my mother.â you said with gritted teeth.
The smile on his face faded.
âShe isnât my mom! And she will never be my mom! Get your bitch out of our houseââ your ears ringed when a loud slap was thrown over your way.
Your eyes big out of shock and youâre stonned at yout position. Once recovered, you glared at him. You cursed him inside your mind and swears that he will pay for every pain he had caused you and your mother. So you ran. You run away that cold night.
Your feet hurts from walking mindlessly. It was past midnight and the streets are almost empty. Your head turns and you realized youâre at a bridge. A tear left your eye again after realizing of what youâre about to do.
You quickly fished your phone and dialled the number of the only person that matters to you.
âHey, baby.â his warm voice made you smile. Tears pool over your eyes at the thought of hurting him so much, but you know thereâs no escape.
Even if Jakeâs mending the pain, its just too much for you. You wished you knew him sooner because he mightâve saved you. Jake might have lessen the scars. You love him and he loves you.
âHey. Are you crying?â the worry over his tone just made you cry even more.
How can someone be so pure and genuine?
âI love you.â you said between your sobs. You can hear him from the other line, rummaging through things.
âWhere are you right now? Iâm coming to you. Stay put, baby.â he says.
You sniffs, âI l-love you so much, Jaeyun.â you mumbled, ignoring his questions.
âY/n! Where the hell are you?!â his tone starts to panic.
âThank you so much for everything. You made me happier.â
âBaby! Whereââ
âPlease tell me you love me.â you cut him off.
Jakeâs going crazy already. His hands are shaking, his eyes teary. He doesnât know what to do or where to start looking for you. Heâs never been this scared.
âI love you, Y/n. I love you so much, hmm baby? Stay where you are. Iâm coming.â
You smiled, contented of hearing those words from you. Even at the last moments you felt loved. All thanks to Jake Sim.
âGood bye.â and with that you end the call then climbed to the railings of the bridge.
âY/n!!â Jake screams and tries to free himself from the nurses that are holding him off.
He went straight here at the hospital after hearing the news.
âPlease, save her! Please.â he begged, tears streaming down his face.
âWe are trying our best, Sir!â
Jakeâs fell on his knees, hopeless. He was lost of words, mindâs a mess. Where did he went wrong? Why did you do it? Is he not enough? Are you not happy with him?
He slowly pulls himself back up and stormed outside the quiet parking lot of the hospital. He turns his head like a crazy man, desperately searching for someone.
âSamael!â he calls out.
âSamael!â he screams continuously.
He fell on his knees, crying.
âYou call for me?â
His head lifts up, a hint of hope lights Jakeâs eyes.
âY/n will live, right?â
Samael kept his straight face, the usual playful grin on his face was nowhere to be found.
âI donât know. Base on the records, none survived from that bridge.â Jakeâs heart cracks at what he heard.
âShe ended her life and you, as a former angel, knew very well that its a grave sin. Only means she cannot be granted another life and her soul will be stuck on the underworld.â Samael says.
âTake my heart.â
Samael stiffened at how fast Jake Sim said that. Without hesitation the young man stared at him straight to his eyes.
âTake my heart in exchange of saving her.â Jake said.
Samael smirks, âI thought youâre not going to be like the first fallen angel?â
âSave her. Thatâs my first wish.â Jake ignored his taunting question. A tear fell from his eyes.
âAre you sure? Without your heart, you wonât be able to be given another chance to walk on earth.â he reminds him.
âSave her.â
Samael nods and taps Jakeâs chest. He grunts in pain and he saw that he was pulling something out from him. As to how he does that without killing him, he donât know.
âSecond wish?â
Jake sighs, âThat y/n will live a normal and happy life in her next lives. She deserves to be happy.â he says genuinely.
âEven without you?â
Jake clenches his jaw. âIf that means she can be happy without living with pain, then yes.â
Samael nods.
âLast wish?â
âBefore I say my last wish, can I go see her first? I know she will be unconscious. I just want to see her one last time.â
Samael was lost of words, and just agrees on what Jake wishes. When they walked back inside the hospital, it was more peaceful. The nurse from a while ago smiles brightly at Jake when she recognized him.
âSir! The patient is stable now! For some miracle the doctorâs managed to save her!â
Jake smiles warmly, tears streaming over his face. He turned over Samael and nods. He nodded back and just disappeared, giving him time with you.
After the doctorâs made sure that you are all right, you are moved to a more comfortable room. Jake enters and his heart broke at the sight of you full of machine operators around you. He tried to smile, but tears are all over his face.
âBaby,â he whispers and approached your bed to hold your hand. Feeling it so cold just made him even more heartbroken.
âIâm sorry.â he says, kissing your hand so gently.
âThis world is too cruel to you. I promise to make it more nicer, okay?â he smiles and kisses you over your forehead.
âI love you so much.â
He stayed that way until he felt a presence by the corner of the room.
âItâs you, right?â Jake mumbles while he brush your hair softly.
âYou are the first fallen angel,â he added, referring to Samael.
He cannot see his reaction, but he knew he somehow caught him off guard. Jake slowly trailed his eyes towards him and he saw him leaning over the wall.
âPark Sunghoon, the first fallen angel.â Jake says.
Samael, or Sunghoon as to how the angels used to address him, smirks. âYou are really something.â he wonât lie. He did caught him off-guard.
âWell, you caught me.â he says and smirked.
âIâm just curious.â Jake says.
âAbout what?â
âYour last wish.â his eyes stares at the man full of anticipation. âWhat was your last wish when you offered your heart?â
Sunghoon smiles faltered for a bit. A hint of sorrow and pain flashes through his eyes.
âMy last wish is that the love of my life will manage to find someone that will love her genuinely. A love so strong and pure with no greed and selfishness.â he says and smiled.
Jake didnât talk right away, but he nods his head. He turns his head to face you. He stares at you lovingly and caress your face gently.
âDoes 8 months with her worthy of the sacrifices you did?â Sunghoon asks.
âIt was worth it and I will repeat it again in heartbeat if I may.â and he leaned in to give you last one kiss at your forehead, mumbling his undying love for you.
âLast wish, Jake.â
Jake sighs and faced Sunghoon.
âI wished for your heart to be returned so you can have a chance to live again and find true love.â
Sunghoonâs eyes grew at Jakeâs wish. The latter smiles and taps his shoulder, still unable to speak a word.
âI can do that right? I can wish for someone else' heart to be returned.â
Jake sighs.
âYou deserve to be loved too. Everyone does.â he sighs.
âGood bye, my love. I will love you forever.â Jake whispers and with that, he can feel himself being taken away by somebody. Sunghoonâs eyes watered in utter shock and the last thing Jake remembers is the darkness eating him whole.
Someoneâs continuously yanking off his shoulder. Muffled voices were talking nonstop, pulling him off from his deep slumber. Slowly, Jakeâs eyes flutter open. Slightly confused and taken aback, he started to wonder where he is.
âDude, finally!â his brows furrowed hardly at the sight of a familiar boy.
âHeeseung?â his tone came out totally confused.
âHurry up! Weâll be caught! Mrs. Choiâs furious! We already skipped a lot of practice! Hurry the fuck up!â it says in a panic voice and pulled him.
Even if in complete trance, he lets himself be dragged. Soon, some more familiar faces arrived. Jungwon, Jay, Sunoo and Ni-ki. These are the people from your previous life. But why are they here? Jake starts to wonder if heâs dreaming. Are they even allowed to dream back on the underworld?
âFuck! Weâre fucked! Hurry up!â Jungwon cursed and pushed pass those students so they can arrive the theater faster.
Upon arrival, Jake noticed that the stage was perfectly designed. His heart falters at the familiar scenery. It was the forbidden passage. But how...?
âFascinating, isnât it?â
Jake head turns when he heard a familiar voice.
âS-Sunghoon?â
His famous smirk flashes over his face, âIf youâre going to ask me how did it happen, I canât answer that. If youâre asking if this is true, yes.â he chuckled and put his hands inside his pockets. Heâs wearing the same uniform as Jake and it isnât the same ones from your previous school.
âYou are alive. Again.â he says, and Jake rests his hand over his chest to feel his heart thumping lively.
âThen where isâOw!â he grunted when he felt pain over his head once hit by something.
Now Jakeâs sure that this isnât a dream.
âWhere were you, Jake Sim?! You are already punished because you cut class too much!â
Jakeâs eyes widen and he turned around to face you. He couldnât believe his own eyes. In front of him stands a fuming mad y/n. Yes, your hair may be a little different and the way you dresses, but its you. His heart thumped like crazy at the sight of you, like a puppy getting excited at the sight of its owner.
âBaby,â he mumbles and quickly pulled you into a hug.
He then yelped in pain when you pinched him over the sides, âDonât you dare try to woo me with your sweet words!â
âOw, that hurts!â
âDude, is she not my girlfriend?â Jake asks Sunghoon who's smirking.
He scoffed, âShe is. But youâre kind of a troublemaker so sheâs really pissed off.â
âKind of?! KIND OF?â your voice raised at what Sunghoon said.
The latter jolts as well and even straighten his back nervously. âYou are lucky I managed to convince our drama club head to let you play the main lead in exchange of not expelling you.â you told Jake.
You seemed very mad, but the smile on Jakeâs face arenât fading at all. He looks at you with full affection and genuine longing.
âI love you, y/n.â Jake.
You blushed but you try hard to keep your angry face. âI love you too, but Iâm still pissed. Go down and start rehearsing!â you screamed and starts to push him towards the stage.
âWhat is the play even about? I forgot.â Jake reasons out that irritated you even more.
âIt's about the first fallen angel, you dumb!â
Jake groaned, âWho am I?â
âThe fallen angel.â
He couldnât believe what's happening right now as he continues to whine at you. Sunghoon puts his hands inside his pocket while watching the scene silently. A small genuine smile spread across his face.
He doesnât know if the concept of angels keeping their memories even if they became human is a good thing. Because despite of living again, they carry the guilt of commiting a grave sin. Sunghoonâs fine along with it as he knew this is what makes himself whole. His silent plea of forgiveness and desire to be loved will always be with him.
âSo you did find the person that will love you purely and genuinely, Y/n.â he sighs. âMy love.â he whispers.
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