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vickysaurus · 3 years

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What if season 5 was two seasons?

So watching through season 5, I kept noticing how fast the pacing had to be with the amount plot threads there were and how often I went ‘I wish we saw more of X’. So as I’ve mentioned a couple of times, I’ve started wondering if it might’ve been better if its story had been spread over two seasons rather than one. Now, obviously I understand that kind of change would not have been in the crew’s hands and no matter what they wanted would likely have been impossible. This is not intended as a ‘they should’ve just done this’ but as a thought experiment. Would a sixth season even have worked? So I’m gonna try and figure out how season 5′s content might’ve been done over two seasons in an alternate universe. In order to keep straight how far in the seasons we are, I’m gonna number the episodes 5-1 to 5-13 and 6-1 to 6-13 for clarity.

-5-1: We’re gonna start off immediately inserting an extra episode: The Fall of Bright Moon. Rather than a time skip, we get to see the first days of the invasion and the evacuation of Bright Moon in the face of overwhelming force. Micah has to switch back into being king, Adora has to deal with losing She-Ra, Bow has to deal with losing Glimmer. There’s a major subplot about Scorpia working up the courage to apologise to Entrapta and the two of them reconnecting. Perfuma probably helps her with that. That sounds like a pretty busy episode, but I think the first two Velvet Glove scenes from Horde Prime should probably be moved to it to not just leave Catra and Glimmer hanging completely.

-5-2 to 5-4: Horde Prime, Launch, and Corridors stay mostly the same. Since I moved the first Velvet Glove scenes to 5-1 and we can probably cut a bit of exposition from Horde Prime with the addition of that episode, these episodes get a couple minutes extra, which is split between an extra Glimmer and Catra in jail scene and some more of Scorpia and Entrapta’s friendship in Launch.

-5-5 and 5-6: An extra season gives us time for worldbuilding and more of the new characters, and since I like the Star siblings I’m gonna selfishly give them a bunch more screen time. The plan to save Catra takes more preparation in this version, leading Best Friend Squad and the Star siblings to go on an adventure on another planet after Stranded, one that is under Horde occupation but hasn’t been destroyed by them. They’re there for either information or some kind of device they’ll need to get on the Velvet Glove, but end up sowing the seeds for a local rebellion on the planet. We’ll see more of that plot later on.

-5-7: Save the Cat. It’s perfect as is.

-5-8: Taking Control’s A plot, enhanced with some scenes from Don’t Go into a full episode.

-5-9: This is where Taking Control’s B plot with the chipped Etherians goes. To go with it, Best Friend Squad is going on another space adventure after a rendez-vous with the Star siblings while they try and escape the Horde. I’m thinking maybe Hordak could be one of the clones searching for them, and while he doesn’t come face-to-face with Entrapta we could see some more of his conflicting feelings building in the course of this. Just a moment’s hesitation on his part allows Best Friend Squad to escape. Catra befriending Glimmer and Bow is a major part of this episode, and it basically bridges the gap between the little overtures between them in Taking Control and Catra as a part of Best Friend Squad in Shot in the Dark.

-5-10: Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogelio only get a cameo in season 5, and that’s something I really want to change. I want to give them a ‘Lower Decks’ episode where they’re basically just trying to go about their lives post-Horde but rapidly discovering the war is impossible to ignore. I feel like we don’t see enough of the normal Etherians in general, and I think these three are a great way to show how they’re doing.

-5-11: Perils of Peekablue. However, the scene at the end where it turns out Micah is already chipped and so are enormous amounts of Etherians doesn’t happen yet.

-5-12 and 5-13: So now I need to have a big season finale happen, and unfortunately Shot In The Dark, while a great episode, is also a little too low-energy to fit the bill. So what I’m gonna do is make it the B-plot of a finale two-parter. The A-plot is set on Etheria, and is basically some big climactic business where the Princesses, General Juliet, (remember her?) and many common Etherians take the fight back to the chipped princesses, and things go well until disaster strikes and Micah gets chipped. Pretty vague, I know. The ‘Lower Decks’ episode we did sets up a lot of the plot here; Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle are probably involved in it. The two-parter ends with the big ‘Oh fuck everyone’s chipped’ moment at the end of Perils of Peekablueas the big season-ending cliffhanger. After that scene, we switch to Best Friend Squad landing on Etheria, and that’s how season 5 ends.

-6-1: I think An Ill Wind would be a solid season opener as is.

-6-2 to 6-10: Yeah, I’m gonna take this whole block of episodes in one go, because this is where it gets complicated. Return to the Fright Zone and Failsafe take place in this block, but it’s beyond my ability to figure out the full plot developments of this entire season. While for season 5 I can keep to the structure of Best Friend Squad’s space adventure, season 6 is gonna be a lot more freeform, and would presumably have major plot elements added. Here’s my thoughts on these nine episodes:

-The chipped princesses get unchipped earlier. They provide good heartwrenching moments, cool bossfights, and allow for major villains ranking below Prime without having to introduce new characters, but I think ultimately it does the chipped princesses a disservice since they just don’t get to show character in the second half of the season. Just compare how well we know Netossa as a character with how well we know Spinnerella. So they get unchipped over the course of these episodes and get to be with the Rebellion again afterwards. Mermista and Spinnerella get unchipped the same way as in canon. Scorpia actually gets to talk while chipped and has a heartwrenching confrontation with Catra in which she basically responds in the worst possible ways to Catra’s regrets (the same way we saw chipped Catra basically being am expression of her worst traits) and they have a fight that’s super rough for Catra, but Catra manages to damage her chip and save her. They have a better chat afterwards, and that’s when they make up and hug it out. I think Micah is the last one to be unchipped, and I might actually keep him chipped until Heart, Part 1 so Glimmer still gets that climactic confrontation with him. Now, a possible concern is that this means there’s just not gonna be enough ‘bosses’ around to fight in Heart. Solutions to this could include for example advanced robots, chipped minor characters like Huntara, Dumbface Octavia, and alien monsters. Maybe Hordak? Though I definitely want him back on the Velvet Glove’s bridge in time to give Prime his date with gravity.

-So that’s sort of the major arc, but there are several characters and plot threads that I feel could easily be an episode’s A- or B-plot in this bunch:

*Catra is mortified when she realises she caused Angella’s death and has a big freak-out over it and tries to run away, Glimmer confronts her and they deal with their feelings on the matter

*Another Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogelio episode

*A Wrong Hordak episode where he discovers his own identity and picks a name, also feat. Entrapta’s attempts to reach out to Hordak

*Madame Razz episode where Adora tries to get her help, possibly involving the Crystal Castle and George and Lance

*Sea Hawk and Double Trouble drama kids adventure where they try to save Mermista (I think Mermista vs. Sea Hawk and Mermista being unchipped gets moved to the end of this episode). These two were delightful for the little time we saw them together in Perils of Peekablue and I want Sea Hawk to somehow rope Double Trouble into an adventure.

*All the space adventures and world building I put in season 5 coming to a head when some form of space reinforcements led by the Star siblings come to help.

*And of course Return to the Fright Zone and Failsafe.

-6-11 to 6-13: Heart is now a three-parter, deal with it. Horde Prime is beaten at the end of part 2, or more likely the start of part 3, and the rest of part 3 is that sweet dénouement I crave.

So with all that laid out, let’s return to the question: would this work? I think if it had originally been written to be two seasons, the story could have easily worked for two. As is, I’m retrofitting a single season to be two, so some of the stuff I’ve added sounds rather redundant or vague. There are certainly enough plotlines and characters to make a split work, but of course those would’ve had to have been written into the plot from the start to not feel tacked on. Of course, brevity is the soul of wit, so even if two seasons had been an option, it’s quite possible a single that has too little time is still better than two that have too much.

#spop #she-ra and the princesses of power #meta #season 5

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lin-kuei-scout · 3 years

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Revival | Recollection [ CHAPTER 1 ]

Clarity, anger, guilt, frustration, worry. One after the other, she mulled her thoughts over, the silence between them only filled by the beeping of his heart monitor. Jax could guess the words that were going to leave her next:

"Is… is that how you feel, too?"

Characters: Jax Briggs, Sonya Blade Word Count: 2.5K Also on: Fanfiction.Net

Short piece focusing on Jax shortly after his revival. Next chapter will be featuring Scorpion and Jax talking things out.

Being alive… It was taking some being used to.

He, like the others, woke up isolated, hooked up to machines that beeped and flashed numbers, arms shackled to the bed only as a request that he stay where he is. At any other time in his life, Jax Briggs would find the bare medical decore of the Special Forces Infirmary off-putting and unnerving, a reminder of every decimating injury he and those he cared about suffered through.

But now? Now he couldn't tear his eyes away from his heart monitor, slowly sitting up, moving as if he could finally feel the weight of his own body. He was alive, he was breathing, he could think through the fog that had clouded his mind and soul for the first time in years.

And with thoughts came memories. Like a tidal wave, everything he'd done for Quan Chi…

"Oh god…"

It's a choked up sound, nausea and anguish, a bitter mix resting right at the back of the throat, threatening to come up if he breathed wrong. His hands clench the bed frame, seeking any sort of stability, but when his eyes glance over to them the feeling only gets worse. These were still the arms the sorcerer had given him, the same ones that -

Before his thoughts could spiral any further, the door to his side opens, and the sound of it almost escapes him, but he doesn't miss the voice of the person that had come in.

"Briggs." It's trained and contained, superficially devoid of emotion, a testing of the waters, but he knew that tone of voice. Knew who it belonged to. His head nearly snaps off from how quickly he turned to face it, his expression shifting through a myriad of emotions. He had so many things to say, so much to apologize for, so much to catch up on… So he settles on a tired, weary smile, and answers in turn.

"Lieutenant Blade."

That did it. For a moment, it looked like she was ready to bawl her eyes out right then and there, but with a deep shuddering breath and a moment spent with her eyes closed, Sonya eventually returned his smile, eyes watering still as she made her way over to him.

"It's… really you."

Jax just kept smiling, even as the corner of his lips faltered, his gaze returning to his hands, looking at them as if they were foreign before clenching and unclenching his fists. Avoiding Sonya's eyes, Jax can only sigh, smile finally dropping completely. "Doesn't feel like it. Everything's… blurry, but I can still remember every single thing I did… and without hesitation. What did he do to me, Sonya? What kind of monster was I? I know sorry won't cut it, but -"

"No, you're not giving me that crap, Jax." She punches his metal arm, and the dull metallic reverberation is enough to shut him up and listen as her face scrunches up in a pained expression. "That wasn't you, alright? That was Quan Chi using you, forcing you to do things you'd never agree to because he knew it would hurt you." Her gaze softens, then, "Hurt us. The fact that you're sitting here, looking like you're about to sob your heart out, is enough proof that that wasn't you, soldier."

He's quiet then, contemplative. It isn't enough to absolve his guilt, but it was enough to momentarily soothe the shock of being alive, cauterizing an emotional wound he would have to address properly later.

Finally, a low chuckle leaves him, the man shaking his head before looking at Sonya again. "Can't be taking it worse than the other guys, can I?" The exasperated body language that immediately took over her form tipped him off that he was right, but he could see when Sonya needed to rant - he was pretty sure she'd combust one day if she dealt with enough bullshit all at once.

"Actually, from me? You're getting top marks. Sub-Zero is still unconscious, so there's no saying how he'll react. Raiden says that he must 'join his mind to the body Quan Chi had constructed for him', whatever that means. And Scorpion's being…" Sonya mentally counts to ten, then sighs. "He set himself on fire and nearly killed two people, Kenshi had to knock him out. Twice. Raiden tried to speak to him after that, but it just threw him into another fit."

"... Damn."

"Yeah…" She shifts, then, her posture changing into something less confident, a rare glimpse of her being unsure. "I… this is going to make me sound like a bitch, but… I don't know what to do with him. No one knows. We went in hoping to resurrect everyone we lost, but it feels like we wasted that chance by resurrecting Scorpion instead, and the bastard acts like we did him a disservice.

"Meanwhile I can't just say it to his face that we didn't even mean to revive him, now can I? And we can't just let him go either, not without risking him just running back to Quan Chi and wasting all of our efforts." Jax can feel how much this is wearing on Sonya, and he understood her frustration so he lets her rant, but it's clear there was something on his mind. Although he would've waited for her to finish, Sonya doesn't keep going, instead looking at him and sighing again. "Go on, say what you're gonna say. I know that face."

"Look, I getcha, but he won't be running back to Quan Chi as fast as you think."

"... I'm not following, Jax." A deadpanned admission of her confusion, Sonya couldn't see where he was going with this, a hand on her hip as she scowled less at Jax and more at the concept of Scorpion going against her perception of him.

"I know Scorpion was the most… loyal of us, but he also seemed to be the only one of us that could think clearly, even if it didn't do him any good. All it meant was that he did the bastard's bidding unwillingly, was the only one of us that actively wanted to break away from Quan Chi." Unlike he, who felt nauseous at the gratefulness he remembered towards the necromancer. Everything he did…

"Then why is he throwing a fit when he got what he wanted? He's free of Quan Chi isn't he?" She snapped, and Jax almost laughed at her exasperation with the now living spectre, but the weight of his next words took the will to do so from him.

"... Pretty sure he wanted to die and stay dead, Sonya."

That seems to get through to her, and Jax could swear he heard her teeth clack together from how quickly she shut her mouth, lips trained into a tense thin line while her eyes showed the thoughts running through her mind. Clarity, anger, guilt, frustration, worry. One after the other, she mulled her thoughts over, the silence between them only filled by the beeping of his heart monitor. Jax could guess the words that were going to leave her next:

"Is… is that how you feel, too?"

Jax feels his eyes water, threatening to overflow with the emotions he was trying so hard to not acknowledge, and a metal hand goes to wipe at them, trying to pass it off as just him rubbing the bridge of his nose. It helped, somewhat, to have the cool metal press against his face.

"I don't really know how I'm feeling right now. I'm glad, Sonya, I'm really glad to be alive and myself again, but all I can think of is just… I don't even know how long I was dead for." His voice strains for a moment, but Jax refuses to let go of his composure and settles for just clearing his throat, sitting up to lean back against the wall behind him. His arms felt heavier than he remembered.

The same hand that punched his arm now rests on his shoulder, squeezes the muscle underneath, and Jax reaches up with his opposite hand to squeeze it in thanks. Whatever his emotions, he was here now, and he'd deal with things one step at a time. Or at the very least, try to.

"I can imagine it's a lot to take in at once. I'm sorry, you just woke up, I shouldn't have come in here only to immediately complain to you -"

He laughs, there, so genuinely that it startled both of them.

"Sonya, you acting like I'm still just me is what's keeping me sitting here in this bed and not throwing a fit like Scorpion is." He means it as a joke, mostly, but a thought worms it's way into his head. "I want to start catching up on everything I missed out on, see if anything that I know can be used against Quan Chi, I do, but right now… I just can't. This barely feels real." He squeezed the hand on his shoulder once more before letting go, resting his hands in his lap. "Part of me wants to go back to sleep, so sure this is just some kind of fucked up dream he conjured up, a taste of freedom to rip away from me."

Sonya crosses her arms at the waist, gaze resting on his heart monitor, swallowing down bouts of emotion that threatened her composure, ever unused to letting go of her detached military upbringing. She knew it wouldn't be easy, that getting them back was only part of the battle, but… she can't say she didn't hope things would be less taxing on them all.

"Well, it isn't, and I'll be glad to beat that into your head anytime you need me." She sits at the side of his bed, the mattress barely denting under her weight, and it was clear she was struggling still with being genuine, but making an effort. "I've missed you, Jax. I'm glad you're back." She doesn't reach for a hug, but Jax does, and she clings to his frame like she's afraid to let go. "It hasn't been the same without you."

"Missed you too."

They stay like that for nearly a minute, Jax just taking in the feel of a friendly touch, the warmth of another, and again he thinks on how Sonya is being his rock right now, a foundation for him to lean against while reality keeps shaking him down. Eventually, however, they must break apart, and Sonya is the first to do so, awkwardly clearing her throat as she stands, looking around the room.

"I should… probably let you rest some more. You'll have to go through a proper mental and physical examination, and after that I'm sure you'll be swarmed with visits. Johnny said -"

"God, please, anyone but him."

Sonya cracks a smile again, shaking her head. "He said Raiden wanted to talk to you too, once you were ready. Johnny just sent his well wishes from his own infirmary room." Ah, right, Jax stabbed him didn't he? But before he can mull on the guilt that lays there, Sonya raises her hand. "He's fine, Raiden healed the worst of it, and he doesn't blame you, trust me." It doesn't help as much as he wants it to help, but it's enough to push the thoughts into the back of his mind, at least for now. "Is there anything you need or want, before I go? Food, water? I could probably get a TV in here -"

"I'm good, I'm good. I feel like watching the news right now would be a bit much to take in." He wasn't hungry just yet, but he had a feeling he'd be starving sooner or later, once his body realized they had to eat to live again. "I do have a question, though. Before I have to talk to everyone, deal with all the medical bullshit…" The thought that had crawled into his mind earlier, at his comment aimed at Scorpion, wormed its way to the forefront of his mind. "Do you think I could talk to Scorpion? Alone?"

That gives Sonya pause, her brows furrowing in mild confusion and doubt, but her expression softens when she looks at Jax, remembering what he'd told her just a few moments ago. Still, she can't help but worry. "Are you sure? He's a danger to himself and others, Jax. What do you think talking to him will accomplish?"

"I know, I heard ya." He leans his head back against the wall, tilting it up and squinting at the bright white lights illuminating the room. "But this is less about me talking him down and more about… I don't know. Talking to someone who was there with me, understands what I went through." There, he lowers his eyes from the lights to Sonya's face, noting how she was visibly chewing on her cheek as she argued with herself. "And if talking to me manages to calm him down? That'll just be a bonus."

"... Fine. I'll see what I can do." Eventually, Sonya relented, shaking her head as her hand came to rest on her hip again. Their second next bet on dealing with Scorpion was having Kenshi try to talk to him in his dreams, but it was clear that just keeping the living wraith in control was already taxing on the telepath. "But if he as much as looks at you funny -"

"I'll smack him upside the head myself, Sonya." She scowled at him, and Jax let out a short huff of a laugh. "Wrong answer, got it. I'll leave him alone, I promise. I'm not exactly itching to experience third-degree burns."

That seems to appease her, even if her unamused frown remained. "I'll hold you to that, Jax." With that, she turned on her heels and headed out of the room, but she lingered on the doorway, hand resting in front of the sensors to keep the door open. There was clearly so much on her mind, but all she offered him was a tired smile. "I'll see you later. Rest up, soldier."

A mock salute was his reply, and he only dropped it once Sonya was out of sight, the doors closing behind her. Immediately, he laid back down, breathing in and exhaling a deep, drawn-out sigh that seemed to completely deflate him. His thoughts were a mess, and his emotions were an even bigger one, but… that was good, right? It meant he was himself again.

Or so he hoped.

Next Chapter: [ WIP ]

#mortal kombat #jax briggs #sonya blade #my writings #me rushing the polish on this so that i can post this before gym #anyway!!! its good to be back ive missed writing for mk #anyway sonya and jax arent appreciated enough

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makeyourdeanabi · 3 years

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Finale Reaction- 2 months later

In the wee hours after the Supernatural Finale, after tossing and turning in my bed, I got up and wrote this... this was before I was actually active on Tumblr and I never thought I would share this because I was too self conscious. I deleted it shortly after I wrote it because it brought me so much pain to relive it. I have since watched the Finale again and have come to terms with it and I felt it was a good time to share my thoughts. I hope that my words may bring other people comfort who feel the same way. Thanks for reading :)

Alisha

P.S. Sorry so long, I was feeling things and the words just kept coming and coming ___________________________________________

I don’t blog. Never in my life have I sat down to tell the world about my feelings in such a manner. I may contribute on message boards and social media comments, but I never thought anything was worth my time to spill my guts into the ether when I am near certain that not a soul will read them. But here I am. I have to write because if I don’t get these thoughts out of my head, I am going to go full on insane.

That ending was bad. It was a disservice to the 15 years of an incredible show that was not only genre bending it was cultural norms bending.

I could mention the various tropes that this ending (and the previous episodes) invoked, but I am not well versed in them and would never want to do anyone a disservice with a comparison that wasn’t apt.

The buildup up of each character arc and then the glaring lack of conclusion for said character arc was laughable.

To say I am disappointed is an understatement.

To say I am heartbroken is an understatement.

I am destroyed.

I am destroyed that the two men who have been with this franchise since day 1 wrote and directed an episode that they thought was the perfect ending. They thought this is what their devoted fandom wanted.

I am destroyed that the lead actors signed off on this script and went so far as to call it their favorite. I realize Jared was the only one calling it his favorite episode. Jensen admitted he had reservations about the episode and needed the wise words of creator Erik Kripke to accept it. I do have to say that taking the word of a man who left the show 10 seasons ago and hasn’t been involved in all the plot lines and inner workings since season 5 is probably not the best idea. I could be mistaken about the extent of Kripke’s involvement, but I am fairly certain that I am right in my assumptions.

Dean spent 15 years (probably more) of his life feeling unloved, unworthy, self-conscious and convinced that his life had but one purpose and that purpose would ultimately be the death of him, and he had made peace with that.

He is given a best friend, potential love interest, who helps him to see that he is more than that, so much more than that. He is selfless, he is caring, he is a lover, not a killer. His friend’s soulmate’s sacrifice is the catalyst for him believing that all these things are true. He even takes the step of admitting out loud that he knows he has changed. He knows that his life is worth living to the fullest and appreciating what he has every day and honoring those they have “lost along the way.”

To then kill him during a routine hunting trip in which the boys are up against a vampire nest they could take down in their sleep. What could possibly have been the purpose for that? To show that once they were no longer God’s little play toys their lives were expendable? WHY?

Dean, arguably the greatest hunter in the SPN universe, was taken out by a fucking rusty piece of rebar, and instead of trying to call for help and get the man to a hospital (not sure it would have helped) he has his final monologue, the one he has been due for the latter half all of Season 15. He died scared, in pain, and sad.

Dean goes to heaven, and its not the heaven we have been told of in the past where you are living in your memories. Its truly life after death and its wonderful. He meets Bobby again and told that various people in Dean’s and Bobby’s life are close by. His parents live down the road. His father, who was never confirmed to be but was most likely an abusive bastard, lives just down the road with his mother. Wonderful. (WTF?) He gets confirmation that Cas is out of the empty and he smiles, nothing more. He sees baby and goes for a drive, not to find Cas and thank him for his ultimate sacrifice, but to just drive. I like this part because we see a happy, content Dean, and we finally get to hear Kansas’s “Carry on Wayward Son” (DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE LACK OF THE ROAD SO FAR AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE). I just wish Dean’s path to heaven had been a little easier on him.

Dean deserved better.

Castiel, the selfless angel who just wanted to find purpose in his life and ultimately found it in death. He dies never being told that he is loved, after countless times of professing his love to his found family. The angel who sacrificed himself to the Empty, a horrible place of unspeakable torture, to protect the man he loves. A man who, mere days later (in my mind anyway), arrives in heaven after being killed in a gruesome accident, rather than fulfilling his destiny that Cas fought so hard to protect. Some sacrifice. It turns out that Cas is saved by the Empty from Jack, but we don’t get to see his joyful reunion with Dean, the man he loves.

Cas deserved better.

Sam is left to live this life without his brother, and potentially the love of his life because the writers couldn’t be bothered to confirm Eileen’s re-existence after Chuck’s rapture. He has a family, and he grows old (mind you with REALLY bad makeup in a show that is known for their incredible makeup/special effects departments).

He seems to be happy, but you can tell something is missing. We come to see that he raised his son to be a hunter. He raised his son in a life that, at the outset of this show, he was desperate to get out of and live a normal life. Perhaps he no longer believes that anyone can live a normal life knowing what is out there. *EDIT* Looking back I don’t believe he raised his son to be a hunter, just gave him the tattoo in case.

He names his son Dean, because of course he does. He has a wife who we see from a distance and is never given the clarity if it is Eileen or not. He finally dies after what looks like a slow and painful illness and is sent to heaven.

In heaven he meets up with Dean. This was lovely. The two of them meeting again after so long, for Sam, that is. Dean only had to seemingly wait for a few hours.

Sam deserved better.

For a show that had the potential to go out on a historically significant high, this is disappointing, to say the least. The story had the potential to end with 2 brothers who have sacrificed so much and saved so many people, find a happy ending. Not only that but find a happy ending with a deaf partner and a gay angel. If that isn’t breaking barriers and bending norms, I don’t know what is. I really would like to know what prevented this from happening. Be it the CW from restricting them or maybe the absolute lack of originality from the writers, I am curious as to their reasoning. Maybe it was COVID. Maybe because they couldn’t have those two actors physically on set due to protocols, they didn’t want to shortchange them by having them appear otherwise: disembodied voice, phone call (DONT TOUCH ME) or even a flashback… hell STOCK FOOTAGE! I don’t know and I clearly can’t imagine the reason.

I realize that there is nothing that can be done about this episode now and that accepting it and moving on is really the only way forward. But the legacy this show has left, and its lasting impact on me and my life, cannot be ignored. I was looking forward to indulging in past episodes of this show for the rest of my life. It is going to be a long time before I can watch an episode without anger and resentment towards what I know to be their eventual end. That, to me, is unforgiveable.

I don’t expect anyone to actually read this because I do not have any followers. I have never blogged in my entire life and was only recently introduced to the online fandom, but I needed to write this. I needed to share the impact that this episode had on me. I do hope that it does reach those in the fandom that may have similar feelings and are able to use my words to help express how they are feeling. We can move on, and we will move on, but we need to do it together.

I know that there are people who, if they read this, would shake their head in disbelief that I became so emotionally invested in this show that watching a bad ending would take such a toll on my mental health.

To them I say, imagine this… The Pittsburgh Steelers (my favorite team, they can imagine their own) have an incredible season. A season where they saw a myriad of highs and lows. Veteran players making incredible comebacks, rookie players coming in to their own. Season ending injuries that lead to the next man stepping up and contributing in ways they weren’t sure possible. Now imagine they make it to the Superbowl and after 3 tough quarters, in which they played their best, getting better with each quarter, they lose it in the final minutes. All that blood, sweat, and tears for nothing. Now imagine that was their last season and the Pittsburgh Steelers are no longer an NFL team. They are done. No “we’ll get ‘em next season.” No “it’s just a game and there is always another one”. Just done. Their entire franchise, for a brief moment in time, reduced to those final minutes where they failed to win. Devastating. Of course, in the long run that is not what they will be remembered for. I mean, after all, they have won 6 Lombardi trophies, and no one is taking that away from them. But the sting will remain for a while. *EDIT* This was as close to prophecy as I will ever get, the Steelers did all of the above until the playoffs, but THANK GOD, there will be another season.

If I can’t make you understand with a sports metaphor than I will never make you understand.

I love this show and this loss is devastating. I do hope that it is remembered for more than their last-minute loss. I hope it is remembered for the joy and acceptance that their fandom felt with each episode, for the laugher on set and the gag reels. I hope it is remembered for the individual players who gave it their all. I know it will be, but for me personally, this sting is going to last for a while.

#Supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #eileen leahy #series finale #season 15 episode 20 #damn you dabb #damn you singer #destiel #supernatural

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astyle-alex · 3 years

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[FanFic] Start with Why | the Old Guard

You’d think, eventually, the excitement of posting a new chapter of something would simmer down a bit, especially when the chapter’s already live on other platforms, but nope. I’m still hyped up to share it here!

Start With Why

Fandom: the Old Guard Pairings: Background Nicky x Joe Characters / Focus: OT5 + Copley, reacting to Booker's betrayal Rating: Gen Audiences Warnings: None (well, language, because the team are all quite colorful) Total Word Count: 10,288 Chapter Word Count: 1,757

Summary:

The thing about betrayal is that it hurts. Sometimes it hurts too much to see the broader situation clearly. But after Booker's betrayal, the team has to look at themselves and see how every one of them is culpable. Booker may have done the deed, but his measly 200 years makes him a child to the others, especially Andy, and like babysitters are to blame when their charge sets the curtains on fire, the Family needs to ask themselves WHY and accept the honest answers. Why Copley, Why Merrick, and Why something made Booker believe that his choice was the right one for his Family...

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|| Read on Patreon | Read on Ao3 ||

Part III :: Nicky

Nicky holds the middle ground.

He provides a more ranged variety of support.

It is the role he’s always had, the one he’s always volunteered for.

He can be cold and objective when he needs to be, no matter what’s at stake.

But this is a test like no other that he’s faced.

He hurts for his little Family, for every member of it.

Booker is his brother and yet he hurt the rest of them— hurt them acutely and intentionally in a way that he had to know would sting like nothing else ever could.

And yet… Book is hurting so much as that and more, so lost in the despair as he was to have been unable to see things with any hint of clarity.

Andy says he truly thought it would help.

Nile says he never thought the others would be grabbed, that he’s worried for Nicolò and Yusuf’s future and the potential pain they’d face when the Almighty that brought them together eventually tore them apart.

Joe is still too hurt and heartbroken to say anything he truly means.

And Nicky doesn’t know where that leaves him. Where that leaves them, both the two of them and the four of them… and even the five of them, to be honest.

Eventually, the argument lapses into silence, weighted and thick with too much grief to sort through the varied points of origin.

Nicky stands.

Joe nearly falls out of his seat as he stands to step in front of him— bodily barring his way toward Booker with a kind of heart-broke desperation that makes Nicky nearly crumble.

And yet…

Nicolò di Genova does not back down.

Such is not a trait within his nature. His gaze is filled with sympathy as it meets Joe’s own despairing and betrayed one, but he does not back down.

Yusuf is Nicolò’s heart and soul, his whole reason for being better than he was— for being a person who could overcome what Booker had not— but Yusuf is not all he is. Yusuf is not the piece of him that defines the limits of what he can be, but the start of his potential. He and Yusuf are still discrete entities, even after eons, they are their own people bound by Fate and love and history, but not merged in any way that makes their love banal or any less miraculous.

They are not two halves of one whole.

They are two hearts that beat in sync, two souls that sing in harmony, two minds that see and feel and know enough to teach each other— to show each other new things and new perspectives even after centuries of being in this world together.

Joe cannot see what Nicky does, and Nicky won’t let his place at Joe’s side determine his ultimate loyalties without his own past-due evaluation.

Nicky stares Joe down, implacable, until his lover deflates enough to sag back into his seat— heaving Nicky’s pseudo-betrayal off with a huff as he keeps his back firmly to the window.

Nicky rests his elbows on the rail beside Booker and waits in silence until Book looks over at him— having heard the door open and braced himself for something louder and more final than a quiet conversation with Nicky.

Nicky doesn’t deliver final verdicts.

He’ll explain them if the initial delivery doesn’t get the message properly across, but he does not report the sentence first of all.

If Nicky has a verdict for you, you’ll find it out when he’s put a bullet in your brain.

Nicky also doesn’t ask. He demands the answers he seeks when he knows who has them.

But here, he doesn’t know any questions that he actually wants to have answered, yet.

He just wants Booker to explain, wants in turn to explain himself to Booker… because they are a Family, and none of them can possibly exist in true isolation.

Book is the one who made the bad decision, but the rest of them are not absolved of all responsibility, as they were all party to creating what bleak circumstances Booker faced, to creating what dismay he believed was enough to push him into making his horrid choice.

Nicky waits for Booker to speak his Truth, waits with his eyes on the restless sea.

“I am so sorry, Nicky,” Booker says, looking at him with imploring eyes.

“I cannot give you absolution, Basti,” Nicky tells him, gaze still on the ocean. “And I cannot yet bring my own self to forgive you, no matter what reasons you bring to bear.”

Booker falls silent, defeated like a kicked dog.

“We failed you too, however, in letting you face your despair as we did,” Nicky tells him after a long moment of solemn contemplation. “We failed you in how we brought you into our Family, failed you every bit as much as we’ve ever failed the civilians that we cannot save. But we also did not pull the trigger on this, as you did, and I am finding it difficult to reconcile such divisive and complementary guilts.”

They always think of Joe as the one to give the pretty speeches, and his Yusuf certainly deserves the epithet, but Nicky appreciates those speeches not because he is incapable of wielding words himself, but because he is more economical with how he states his feelings.

He pulls no punches, leaves no ambiguity.

When he is confused, he says so, and when he’s not he states it clear.

“Yusuf is my heart, my soul, my mind’s only true peace,” Nicky tells his little brother with the cool detachment of age and sympathy. “We have let you bear 200 years of misery and let ourselves forget, nigh even then, how truly young you still are. Nile helped me to remember it, her saying how you had called her so young. A ‘neighbor with a dead pet’, she said. It goes for comfort, too, Basti— it goes for certainty and calm.”

“You’ve never been a father, Nicky, even as old as you are,” Booker pleads, half frantic to have his reasons reconciled. He wants to be clear, to give himself over unto the others’ understanding, to be heard and truly listened to… He is desperate for it, desperate to be understood, in a way Nicky has, unforgivably, realized he hadn’t the patience to fully see before.

“And you’ve never had a love grow warm inside you over eons, to feel the Faith in Truth it brings,” Nicky replied, not ceding any ground.

Booker bites his tongue— cutting off what was sure to be a sour retort, a snap of love turned too bitter to bear. Of trust that feels betrayed as what he feels should be a valid point is just summarily dismissed.

“You loved them very much, your wife and children,” Nicky states, confident that his words will not be taken as any kind of understatement. “You loved them until it consumed you like a fire, as you believe Yusuf and I love. But you are still so young in how you see things if you think the love either of us has could ever die with the ones to whom we give it.”

Booker blinks, equal parts surprised and hurt, Nicky thinks.

“Your family hurt you at their end,” Nicky goes on, “They levied accusations, and you have let yourself descend to meet them. This man beside me is not the one they loved while living, and you do them disservice by believing you could become the monster that they made you. Their love is pure and powerful, tainted only by mortal concerns that I have Faith their immortal souls regret. But if they were first to meet you now, they would not be able to abide it.”

Booker is retreating, sliding away from Nicky, inch by inch, along the rail.

“If Yusuf dies, I will despair,” Nicky confesses. “I will ravage lands and wreck vengeance on all villains I can find, killing countless in his name. But the grief will ebb in the face of what good I can still do in his name, what good I can lay claim to having had his heart inspire. It will hurt, and I cannot bear to think of what horrors I may commit at the apex of it, but I cannot believe I will forget the goodness of my Yusuf, the good-work he had, in all his life, strove to create. I cannot believe I will dishonor my own love for him by failing to carry his work on.”

“ ‘This is what we do’, you say,” Book says with a keening sort of hollow voice. “It’s a mantra, not true belief. You want to believe it, but you have no proof and you want it.”

“You say Copley has proof, say you’ve seen it, yet you do not believe any more than I that what we do day to day affects things,” Nicky counters. “It is a mantra, and it is belief. The belief is more robust on some days than on others, but there is nothing that will break my Faith. I am a thousand years old, Basti, and the world has been awful for every single one of the years I’ve lived. But there are people who have lived longer lives because of my presence in the horrors of their worst moments, and I have found a way to let that be enough.”

Booker doesn’t speak— can’t speak.

Nicky turns his gaze away, looking back to the violent roll of the ocean waves.

“Tell me why, Booker,” he demands, voice soft and smooth and inescapable. “Tell me what it is you want. Tell me what will help you, or will help me see you.”

Booker half-collapses.

“I don’t have excuses left,” he manages eventually. “I don’t have good reasons, or bad ones…. Or anything. I don’t have anything. Just the grief and the regret.”

“You have us,” Nicky promises simply. “I cannot forgive you yet, but I can promise you that my inability is due only to the freshness of this hurt. You will be forgiven and welcomed back into the Family with no further stipulations, once you have paid your penance.”

“I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve you.” Booker knows Nicky cannot disagree.

But he feels his test of faith has been suddenly decided.

“Love does not care what you deserve,” Nicky says pushing off the rail to return to where the others wait inside for his assessment.

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|| Read on Patreon | Read on Ao3 ||

#fanfic #the old guard #Immortal husbands #nicky x joe #Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova #nicolo di genova #yusuf x nicolo #yusuf al kaysani #Booker #sebastian le livre #Andromache of Scythia #nile freeman #james copley

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aspiestvmusings · 4 years

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ZEP: MY ISSUES WITH “ZOEY”

Here’s a new long analysis post for ZEP S1. This one is focused on Zoey, and the things that I have issues with...about the writing & the character:

Just me...dissecting & analyzing the storyline...with focus on Zoey & Team Max. But since the stories are so intertwined, there’s Zoey/dad & Zoey/Simon talk, too. Cause the so-called “love triangle” [the relationships between those three characters that they try to market as a love triangle] is one of my issues with the show.

WARNING: Very long post & possibly full of unpopular opinions.

I HAVE ISSUES...WITH “ZOEY” (READ: WRITING & CONTINUITY...)

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IMO Zoey is “unfair” with both men. She’s in such deep denial & even now that she’s learning empathy & be emotionally more available she’s still running from her feelings, cause she just doesn’t wanna deal with them (the truth). Every time when the three of them interact, she always claims that there’s nothing going on. She tells Simon that there’s nothing between her & Max, and they’re just friends. She tells Max that there’s nothing between her & Simon, and he’s just helping him with grief. She tries to belittle the other man’s part in her life.

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She actually knows how she feels about both. She actually knows it all. (we’ve seen her reveal the truth to her mom & to Mo...in some scenes...so we know that what she tells the men is half-truths..at best) But she is doing everything in her power to deny it, and so she “denies” it also to the two men. But...in doing so she’s been unfair to both men, kinda leading them on. I understand that that’s done intentionally... and is supposed to be one of her “character flaws”. That she was (and still is) emotionally challenged, and the new superpower is here to help her learn empathy & make her understand others (and her own) emotions. But while I know what the intent of the writers is... I get a bit of different impression from the actual storyline...as I watch it. Cause...there is some “inconsistency” here.

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I did not get “Zoey sees Max in a new light, cause unlike Simon, who is stuck in the past, he’s now looking into future, and she needs that kind of “positivity” right now”. Instead I got the feeling that she’s not into him and how he’s become more confident and has a new outlook on life (all started with those peer reviews...), but his position of power. That she’s into the fact that he’s the boss. Cause she’s been fighting against “the universe” this whole time (however many days/months the events between the MRI & the Bad Moon Rising...took in their universe). And suddenly... (and it doesn’t feel like it’s cause she’s started to see the powers as something positive, or because she is accepting her loss, or dealing with her grief...it just feels like she’s being “superficial”) she finds him attractive.

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I mean... in 1x05, when she sees Max shirtless, she can’t stop staring. She wants that body. Then in 1x06, when Max goes after what he wants [this all started with the peer reviews] - the scooter, she finds that ”action” hot. Same in the finale, when he says he enjoyed being the boss, she finds him attractive. Drawn to “power figure, manly man stereotype”. It’s like Zoeys “Button’s moment”. She seems to lean toards the man, who shows...at the time...”confidence” & muscles.

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The other thing that makes her lean towards one of them is...”we’re just friends”. She wants what she can’t have. She wants more than the other person wants/offers. She starts really going after Simon..strong (obsessing over him) when he stays true to it not being ok to be more than friends, cause he’s engaged. After Simon says they should stay friends, she does not like that, and complains (to Mo) that the man doesn’t want to be more than friends. And she goes after him... to the point where she tries to hook up with him. Then when she & Max make up, and agree to start a fresh... and Max is all for friendship, she suddenly wants more, and goes after him... tries to hook up with him. When one of the two says that they should just be friends, she suddenly starts finding them irresistible & wanting more. That’s another sttange (planned or accidental) thing I noticed about S1...

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There is a very clear pattern in her behaviour throughout the season. And these are just a few of the “parallels” & patterns. And while very “human” & “real”, and “believable”...from someone grieving, emotionally challenged & “a mess”, none of this is “healthy behaviour”, or anything she should remain stuck in. Which is why they need to let it go... let the “triangle drama” rest.

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And I’ve kinda started questioning if the girl is just frustrated, and perhaps she just needs some, cause this time she came onto Max (who was all in for the “let’s be just friends for now” thing movie nights and stuff...), and she REALLY could not wait... no more...for him to finish the singing... It kinda made me question if she truly sees him a new light as she says, or is this her “Buttons” moment, and nothing else. I mean..we saw her try to use similar tactic with Simon... on her “anger phase day”. She was trying to use se* as a tool to deal with her anger. And this time it seemed like she was trying to use se* as a tool to deal with loneliness or frustration. However “real” and “human” that is... it’s not “good”. At times I truly think, based on her behaviour, that she just wants to get some...cause she seems to be unable to deal with..anything.. until she’s gotten that out of her system.

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She also does not seem to learn the lessons she gets. I mean.. Mo told her already in 1x04 that “You’ll get better at using your superpower. As long as you see every failure not as defeat, but as a stepping stone on the road to success.”...yet she only got it & admitted it [in her speech to her dad] in the finale, 1x12. And also...she seems to not be so blind, and can help apply the lessons to others (giving Tobin the advice she got from Mo...about hard conversations between friends; helping Mo with Eddie...when her situation with Max is the same...as Mo points out). It does not seem “believable”...even if we apply the “she’s a grieving mess & emotionally challenged & running from her feelings & avoiding her own emotions” filter to her behaviour. It still doesn’t “fit”... she just goes back & forth...too much... and that makes it feel like it’s inconsistency in the writing [artificially created...delays & conflict], instead of it feeling as the writing probably means it to be - that its due to her “being a mess”.

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What I need from S2: for Zoey to be honest with both men. Stop being in denial, and admit her feelings to herself, and to them. How she feels abut each. Telling Max about her kisses with Simon. Telling Simon about her history with Max. And...unless they all agree that it doesn’t have to be two, but it could be three (polygamy), then she has to make a choice, and stop leading them both on. And I want the men to bond, and “demand” honesty from her....if the show really does intend to keep the “love triangle” going...as they claim in their S2 plans interviews. This is why I like both actors (and based on the finale scenes..both of their characters) take on the whole thing (they’re Team Zoey), and I don’t support what seems to be the showrunners & the networks take on the thing (that it’s a competition between the two & that love triangles are the greatest device in writing...)

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Cause right now the S1 finale actually put that to rest...during the last song (as we saw Simon admit he saw them together, and knows she's into Max, and shook his hand...cause he knows what he did...calling him to let him know about her dad.... and how selfless that was, and we saw how Max was there next to her throughout the last song... just a shoulder to lean on...without any pressure or anything. So...on screen the triangle thing was actually put to rest. (except for Zoey’s last talk with her dad...which happened before the funeral, but still gave them the out to leave things open... to keep the non-existent competition between teams alive...cause network/showrunner love the idea of TS vs TM...to the level that I feel is dloing disservice to the characters and story)

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I’ve said it before... I know what their intent is (cause network TV is easy to read... even the best written shows still follow the same simple formula & rules), but I don’t get that on screen. But most of the “love triangle” thing does not feel to me like it being because Zoey is grieving or because she has low EQ. It just feels like she’s almost intentionally playing with the mens feelings. And I don’t appreciate that. Even if it comes from her only learning to empathize, and not being in touch with her feelings. From her not being able to handle feelings, and hence denying the feelings she has...fighting against feeling... It comes off as like her not just being unfair, but downright playing with Simon’s & Max’s feelings. Cause by now she knows how both of them feel. She has absolute clarity about their feelings...and they have no real clarity about hers.

They both had their moment(s) with her, but she has to have “hard conversations” with both of them...where she is completely honest with them. Yet she keeps telling Simon that there’s no need to be jealous of Max & her (and then goes and kisses him). And she keeps telling Max that she had no idea she had those feelings for Simon (and Max). When we know that there are two people who know...more of the truth... Maggie & Mo. Everyone else gets the tweaked truth.

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So yeah...while the intent most likely was that Zoey was clinging to Simon, and in the process of doing so (holding on to the past... cause she was not ready to let go of her dad, so she tried to keep the status quo by creating that grief bond with Simon), I haven’t truly sensed that from the season as a whole. And even though we & Zoey saw that while Simon was still clinging to the past in 1x10, while she has been slowly starting to let go, he seems to have started to move on, slowly, too, in 1x12 (or has he? Maybe it’s all one of his great pretender tactics...like being too cheery outside on a Tuesday morning...while singing “mad world” inside) . But...he still probably represents the past to Zoey. And Max represents the future. That was most likely their intent with the S1 finale Max and his optimistic outlook.

This all comes back to what Zoey told her mom in 1x04 about her connection with Simon: “He’s the only person who I can talk to about what I’m going through with dad. No one else understands, and I guess I'm worried that if I let it go, or let him go, then I... won’t ever feel this way again.” And interestingly enough for her, Max represents the opposite in the finale (especially). While her outlook so far has been - “how do I live without my dad?”, her best friends speech gave her a new outlook “one can experience failure or something bad happening, but still look forward to what’s to come”. The finales intent was most likely to say that she doesn’t feel like letting her dad go or letting the grief go means she won’t ever feel this way again. She can live without her dad, she will find love again...if she just opens up to the possibilities.

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In S2 I want the two men to bond, and ask her to make a choice. To stop being dishonest with them (and mostly herself). And since we saw the men talk to each other (when Max called Simon), and then saw them shake hands... we can hope that they kinda become “kinda friends”. They should both take a step back, and remove themselves from potential love interest roles...until she’s figured things out. Which can only happen after she’s had time to deal with her grief. Cause I’m not certain she’ll be able to stop playing her games even at this time, when her focus should (finally...after she ran from it all...during the whole time when her dad was still with them) be only on grief & family. I don’t “trust” Zoey, but I believe in the two men. I see them being her friend at this time. But when she has gone through all the grief stages, they should have a talk...the three of them. And either they agree that “it could be three, not two” or they ask her to make a choice, and stop with her games. Finally be honest with herself, and them. Stop avoiding & running from her feelings.

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So... that is what I hope from the future. I mean...we didn’t get enough focus on her grief story, cause so much of the screentime was devoted to her dilemma about the two men that it took away so much focus from dad/daughter, and those stories and dynamics. And that was a shame. That she (the story) didn’t focus so much on how she deals (or doesn’t really deal) with the fact that she’s about to lose No 1 man in her life, her dad... and instead of focusing on herself, and her dad...the story almost seemed to evolve around her “choosing between the two men” (the so-called love triangle storyline)

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In the S1 finale we saw how Zoey saw Simon sing he’s jealous of her & her best friend. And she kept that to herself. Then we saw her come on to her best friend, who was there for thier friends movie night. And all that barely days/weeks after...her fights with both of them (all events between 107 & 111). And then we hear her tell her dad that she likes that her hot new co-worker likes her back, and she’s also proud that at the same time she “hooked up” with her best friend. And how that complicates things. When it’s her who is complicating things...which are really uncomplicated. She still has no clarity. She still hides from her feelings. She is still in denial. She still tries to pursue both. And she needs to stop that. She needs to tell her best friend about her relationship & feelings for the engaged man (tell him about the kisses etc) & she needs to tell the grieving & newly single man about her long history with her best friend, and what (almost) happened... the night the music died. She “owes” it to them.

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We all know what the shows endgame is, and it’s been clear since the start. To everyone...no matter which team you support or root for. And they’ve written the characters and the relationships differently enough to prove the point. Even with the heart song choices. And from the finale alone we see Simon sing that he’s jealous (of her taking her best friend to each cheesequakes...which he thinks is something only they did...that one time), while Max sang that she has all of him. One song puts the feelings of the person first, the other puts the feelings of the person they sing to first. And we’ve seen that throughout the season, when Max’s songs have been love songs to her, while Simon’s songs have been more about his grief and his “inappropriate” (cause he was engaged) feelings for her. The songs alone reveal it all. Max songs and behaviour always put Zoey, his best friend, first (even during the times/episodes...when they were “taking a break”). His actions are selfless, and full of unconditional love. While Simon’s songs are more or less about his feelings, and what he needs from her (should he stay or go...considering he’s engaged; he’s jealous...of the other man who gets her attention..too).

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And I’ve said this before...many times, but it’s worth to repeat: the two men in her lives, and their stories, and her relationship with them are written differently..on purpose. Both represent ...something...to her. I’ve compared Simons & Zoey’s grief before, and said how she is taking the same steps he did, making the same mistake he did, walking the same path..without learning from his mistakes. But..hopefully the s1 finale finally put an end to that. Because it did showcase how he is stuck, and she has been stuck in the same way. By clinging to him, she tried to keep things as they were, but at the same time things were changing... as her dad’d health was chaning..and no matter how much she tried to deny it, avoid it... life happens.

I’ve said how she projects, and she definitely did that with Simon. And...unless they want to have her character stuck, and not have character growth, and be on the path to move on...there is no way they can keep up the love triangle or keep her relationship with Simon the same. Cause that means she’s going backwards, not forwads. And the S1 finale seemed to establish that she’s starting to see the world in new colours. And interstingly enough it took for her best friend, Max, to get through to her (Mo, Maggie, and others have tried...before..but it hasn’t clicked with her...til now), and so I think that they need to continue developing their friendship in S2. His optimistic outlook is what Zoey needs right now. (also... cannot wait for the episode when we hear Max sing “True Colours” to Zoey...oh the parallels...)

Choosing Simon now, after S1 end would mean that Zoey is going down Simon’s path - being stuck in grief, & that’s not what the intention is. To quote Simon from 1x10: “he’s jealous of his mom, cause she was able to move past the pain of loss & grief and she fond the joy...in life...again”. And since Z/S dialogue/story always kinda “parallels” the Z/M storyline, then her words can be applied to herself & Max, too, here. She tells him to go after that joy then...to realize it’s not as far as one might think. If she’d apply that to her own situation with Max, then she’d realize that for her (finding) the joy...again...is to realize it’s not as far as she thinks, cause for her her best friend reprsents that joy.

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So she either chooses Simon (grief, being stuck, past...cause even though they were making Simon start to move past ...all...that), then as a choice he represents clinging to the past for her. Or she chooses Max (joy, moving past the grief, not making the same mistakes again, and choosing to go the other way/seeing things from other perspective from now on). And we saw her admit that shes “going the other way” with her look on her powers...during her speech to her dad. Yet, she still didn’t apply the same logic to her situation with the two men... cause Simon = choosing grief & Max = choosing joy.

But...the love triangle can only remain exising if she’ll choose Simon for now. If she’ll be not taking the advice she has gotten, and if she will “wallow in her grief" instead of focusing on “healing”. So...the only question is...how much in denial is she? How scared of the truth, and her own feelings/emotions is she? Will she cling to the past & we’ll see her repeat every mistake she saw Simon make (and she didn’t like... based on snapping at him “you’re still stuck” in 1x10). So...based on these lines alone (bits of dialogue from 1x10 & 1x12 especially: which way she chooses...like which way she chooses to look at her powers), and the lines each sang during the final number... the road back to joy is choosing Max. And yet that choice would (thankfully) end the so-called love-triangle. And I’m not sure the showrunner wants to choose that options. I think their intent is to focus on the LONG grief process, and milk it to the max. ;)

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What I also need from S2: Seeing Simon really start working on his grief - seeing a therapist, continue on the path we saw starting in 1x11 & 1x12. Seeing Zoey take the time to actually grieve, and take time for herself (what Max told her to do...for now)..before she even starts thinking of dealing with her “complicated love triangle issues”. Seeing her stop being in denial, and admit her feelings to herself, and be honest with each man. And ending this love triangle thing. Instead we need more focus on Mitch impact on Zoey. (via “flashbacks” & “dreams”...where we see her spend time with her dad).

We need to see her relationships with each man, but without any romantic context. And she needs to apologize to both men...for her behaviour...even if they understand it was her grief anger. She really needs to acknowledge her behaviour, and she can do that best if she starts being honest with them. With her speech to her dad she took the first step... and as I predicted it’ll take losing her dad for real for her to start seeing the power as something positive, not negative. (but she also tries to be in a three-person relationship with both men..without admitting this to herself or them...and that’s not good)

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I’m not sure if it’s just the network or does the showrunner himself truly like the love triangle. Because it’s the one aspect of the show that turns me away & makes me dislike the main character...and hence the show. It doesn’t feel “organic” anymore, it doesn’t feel like a growing story...it feels like the storyline is telling us one thing, but then someone comes in and adds a bit that doesn’t fit into the storyline. That’s how the love triangle thing feels by now. It’s like the writer has one idea, but then the network adds notes, and demand they be added...and they don’t fit...THAT’S what I think & feel when they have “Zoey debate between the two”.

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This is why I love the actors (Skylar & John) take so much. They both want to respect the character, and dare I say...they don’t seem to be into the idea of Zooey being “the prize” that their character have to “fight for”. She is not that. They also all seem to acknowledge that each charater still needs to grow individually, and then and only then is Zoey gonna be ready to make her decision (after S & Z have gone through phases of grief, and done some therapy & after Max has figured out his new place in the world...), and I have mad respect for the two men. And I hope the message gets through also to the writers, showrunner & network. That they need to shift the focus, and let Zoey grieve...until they add the “love triangle drama” to the story. Only...unless it’s an actual agreement between all three that they’ll choose poly, there needs to be no actual “love triangle” & she has to choose - does she want the “for now = S.” or does she need the “forever = M.” Will she repeat her past mistakes & go for the overly complicated choice, or do as she planned...and take it slow & go for the right... “forever” guy.

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The other thing that I need from S2 is something I have complained was missing from S1: team work. In the sense that Zoey needs to trust people more, and let them help her & learn to lean on others. This “character flaw” was introduced already in ep 2, when Joan told Zoey: “Listen...as talented as you are, you can't take on these projects all by yourself. It's unsustainable.” The same applies to her personal life/storyline. She needs to trust her team (friends: Max, Mo & family: mom) more. So while S1 was mostly about each characters individual growth...as little as we sadly saw it (amidst the drama-lama), then S2 needs to shift focus on her support system, and show how she has learned to lean on others, and how she doesn’t try to go through it all alone. So..friendship (and romance) with Max, with Simon (I wish he wasn’t in the picture & they’d bring in someone else/new... but I know he’s gonna be there for the grief-bond, so...), with Mo...

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We saw her have moments with Max (the advice he gave to her about going & talking to her dad..at the end on 1x08) & Joan (the advice she gave her in 1x11, when she told her about her own mom & her story). And surprise-surprise... there was no need for the other person to have gone through what she was/has gone through (dad dying) to be able to understand her, talk to her, give good advice, be there for her.

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And I want to see her bond more with others... even if they don’t have the same experience as she does. Because one of the things I don’t understand about the shows claims is... how they seem to claim (the show, the character) that no one else besides the people, who have lost their dad (or are losing the same person..her dad...their husband...) would understand. That one has to have gone through the exact esperience to be able to understand them. This is why I never undrstood what they were trying to tell with Zoey/Simon grief-bond. Because... even if both lost their dads, their experiences are different, so neither can truly understand the others experience...no better than anyone else (who hasn’t had the same loss) would. But...also-...most adults have experienced loss (grandparent, friend, parent...), so to assume that no-one else would understand... is strange to me. Yet...they kept it up til the finale. And in my own exprience the best support system is not the person, who has had the same experience, but the person who is simply there for you, who wants to help. It does not require similar experience for others to understand you/get you. You don’t need a mirror to look at, you need just someone who cares, and is simply present.

I have examples from my own life. I have examples from people I know. For example my childhood friend, who helped her then boyfriend (now husband) though a hard time. They met in HS, and they’ve been together since then (we’re all over 35 now). Her man lost both of his parents very young...with just a few months apart..when they were in Uni & had been together just a few years. And she had not yet been though such close loss yet (by now she is...her dad died before mine did), yet... you could say that she was his rock, and helped him through the time...the most. And they are one of the strongest couples I know. So it has been so strange for me to watch the season & interviews where it’s constantly mentioned that no-one else would understand Zoey...when I don’t think that’s true. When I know, for a fact, that that’s not true.

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Team Max or Team Simon:

Now.. I’ve come to realize that the answer to the question “Team Max or Team Simon” depends on a persons take on certain..things. And sometimes even depending on how peope view the actors that portay the characters. And everyone can have their own opinion on this, and they should. And I know many of us agree (on both sides) that the season should’ve focused more on Team Zoey & that next season needs more focus on each characters growth individually...

But...there is one thing I do not agree with from people who are not Team Max. And those are claims that Max is selfish, and rude towards Zoey. That how he acted after the flash mob rejection...and until they made up at the end of 1x11, was “acting out”....unfairly. That is the one thing I don’t agree with at all.

Yes, just like Zoey (and Simon, and everyone else) Max has his character flaws. And we certainly saw them in S1. But... unlike so many, I don’t think that he was OOC during the middle/end of the season (eps 7-11), which many have mentioned. Even Max fans. I find these POVs...interesting. Cause I interestingly did not find his behaviour such..

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anosrepasi · 4 years

Text

Chapter 15: Such Great Heights

Read it on AO3 Start from Chapter 1 The carrock looms before them and for a second Thorin hesitates in his decision, acutely aware that Bilbo is not the same kind of god as his nephews are and might not look at the spot with the same appreciation. “It’s a bit of a climb, but you can see the whole city from the top- I understand if you’d rather-”

Bilbo’s already walking forward, more like leaping, as he starts to tackle the first handholds, “See you at the top, your majesty. Don’t take too long.”

Thorin barks out a laugh, before also tackling the wall. He’s made equal progress with the other god in seconds and allows himself to leisurely pause his climb for a second, “Brash of you to assume you could beat me up to the top when I’ve climbed this wall thousands of times and this is your first attempt.”

Bilbo doesn’t slow down but lets out his own echoing laugh, “I can most certainly beat you to the top, Thorin.”

Thorin leaned in, scaling up a few more feet but making no real effort to get ahead of Bilbo. “And how do you propose that’ll happen, Master Gardener?”

“One, I tend to get underestimated. Which is a mistake,” Bilbo leans away from the wall, using one hand to point a finger in the air as he speaks and Thorin’s eyes follow the motion momentarily, as Bilbo raises a second finger. “Two. I cheat. See you at the top!”

With Bilbo’s exclamation, thick vines erupt from around them from the rock and start pushing up at a rapid speed. Bilbo grabs onto one and Thorin watches as within seconds Bilbo is suddenly towering far above him as he’s carried by the growing vines up the side of the tower. He gives a small wave with his free hand and his face splits into a large grin as he waves.

Well if cheating is on the table.

Thorin closes his eye and walks, letting go of the carrock wall and picturing the smooth surface of the top and opens his eyes to find himself effortlessly seeing the view he had just been picturing, and a rather put out Bilbo freeing himself from the embrace of the vines that had brought him to the top. Thorin merely smiles, “You probably shouldn’t have said anything about cheating, you might have caught me by surprise enough not to cheat myself.”

“I had you for a second there.” Bilbo retorts, though his voice only carries amusement. “The look on your face was a good consolation prize.”

“I’ll concede that.” Thorin says settling at the edge of the rock and looking out at the city, “I have to ask, you didn’t just compromise the structure of the tower for a race though, did you?”

“I promise any vegetation I add to your realm will strengthen it, not weaken it. Especially given that we are currently standing on said structural elements.” Bilbo settled into the spot next to Thorin and finally took in the view, Thorin could tell by the way the other god stilled and the almost-inaudible sharp inhale.

“That’s quite a view.”

Thorin laughed again, and Bilbo’s smile is small but present, “I’m glad you find it impressive, as much fun as the journey up here is, the result is usually the bigger draw.”

“And here I thought you were just having me climb a tower as some weird initiation as official guest to Erebor.”

Thorin chuckles but he can also see the logic in Bilbo’s words, “It’s true you’re one of a small number to be brought here, even before I would be incredibly selective about who knew about this spot and used it as my hideaway from my siblings when I was younger.”

“So this is where the god of death goes when he needs an escape? Lucky me.”

Something catches in Thorin’s throat and he finds himself speaking without thinking about it, the truth slipping easily from him, “Not the ‘God of Death,’ just Thorin. When I first took on the role, this is one of the few places I could consider mine, not my Grandfather’s.”

Bilbo catches the shift and his smile fades slightly, “Ah. You also inherited your calling?”

He could say yes. He could say yes and know that Bilbo wouldn’t press it further after the other god’s own confession about his mother and his calling. And yet that feels like it would be a disservice to them both. Bilbo was open with his past and had shared it easily, regardless of the sadness attached to his memories. Thorin would be lesser to not give his companion the same truth. “No. The tale is a lot more complicated than that.”

“Do you want to share it?”

Thorin inhales slowly, pausing in this moment to decide if he wants to continue or take the offered out that Bilbo is giving him. He exhales and the decision is clear. What matters more is figuring out where to begin his explanation. The beginning doesn’t matter much, all of it good intentions and happy memories that could do nothing to change the results.

“They were going to force Frerin to be King.”

Bilbo’s attention is as sharp as a blade and Thorin does not let himself waver, using the focus to push the words from his mouth like a dance rather than a winding confession.

“My grandfather first held the title for the God of Death. When he started fading, my father was poised to take it on and we didn’t think much of it, as a family. We had long suspected that my grandfather would not be the only ‘king’ and my Father had never had a strong calling, even after all the centuries had passed and he had children of his own who were of age.” Thorin can remember all of them clearly if he wants to, his father and mother, grandfather and grandmother. The way they had held vigil at his grandfather’s bedside when he first began to fade. But those memories were far to close to the ones that had followed.

“Then Erebor was attacked and it was just Frerin, Dis and me.”

Ah. Here was where eloquence leaves him entirely.

“Dis was far too young but Elrond and Thranduil insisted that Erebor needed a king and Frerin hadn’t had his calling yet so they wanted him to rule and I- I just looked at him after everything we had been through and all we had lost and he looked terrified. I told them in no uncertain terms they could not force that upon him and if Erebor needed a king so swiftly to crown me and be done with it.”

Bilbo’s eyebrows had scrunched up as he was listening but now his expression widened as comprehension clicked into place. “You had a different calling- That’s why they wanted Frerin to take on the role.”

Thorin nods, not willing to say it out loud. It was uncommon but understandable for a god to inherit their calling and title from a fading god. It was something else bordering on unnatural to renounce a calling, no matter the circumstances. He steadies his gaze on the horizon and forces himself to not watch Bilbo’s reaction.

His decision has brought him satisfaction and regret in equal measure, but those are known by him alone. But he knows what this story looks like to the outside observer, to those who were not in the room. How easy it is to simply label him renouncer, or greedy, ambitious, wrong. How no one else seemed to see the litany of small transgressions against them. How no one else reacted when Frerin went pale and looked like he couldn’t breathe when Elrond declared he would need to inherit the calling. How Dis was taken under care in the Eternal Realm and her brothers would not see her until she had grown up away from them. How they expected him to just nod along to it and give his blessing to have his brother’s fate sacrificed for their order and balance.

How he turned their plans on their heads and instead of Frerin’s fate being thrust upon him by Thranduil and Elrond, Thorin had to take responsibility for it along with everything else he said that day.

Bilbo’s voice is small in the volume of the distance between him and Thorin is snapped back into the awareness there is a witness to his story other than his own recollections. “You renounced your calling, so Frerin wouldn’t have to become something he wasn’t meant for.”

“No, I still dictated his fate that day. We had been attacked and the city had been almost destroyed, we couldn’t remain exposed without some sort of gate to protect the city. I elected Frerin as the gatekeeper.”Suddenly there’s a weight and a warmth on his arm and Thorin startles as he recognizes Bilbo’s hand reaching out and crossing the distance between them. The Gardener’s voice is heavy, “That must have been an unimaginable sacrifice.”There’s a clarity to his next confession that makes it even easier to share than his last. “My first calling was as the God of Duty. Who would I be if I could not take on a loss that would be passed to someone else if I did not carry it?”Bilbo is silent besides him, his hand still resting on Thorin’s arm ask he speaks again after a pause. “I’m starting to believe that’s just a quality of “Thorin,” regardless of calling or titles.”Thorin breathes in sharply but Bilbo continues, reaching for Thorin’s hand and flipping it over so Thorin’s palm is cupped up towards the sky. “I know the opinion of a planting god means very little in the grand scheme of things, nor does it come with the same weight as that of a more relevant god but I have been honored to call myself a guest of your realm and can think of no other god I would be as proud to call a friend- especially now knowing the true depth of your dedication to your people and your kin.” Bilbo drops a small object into Thorin’s palm and closes Thorin’s fingers around it before withdrawing his hand. Each motion feels tinged with intention, like a promise from his hand to Thorin’s. “It’s not much, but if you ever need a gardener, it’d be my pleasure to be of assistance.”

Bilbo makes a motion to stand and Thorin opens his hand to uncover a simple acorn, one taken from the oak tree growing in his hall. The acorn is completely engulfed from view when he closes his hand, as small as it is, and has no indication of being anything more than a seed, but it feels like a precious gem in his palm.

Thorin’s voice betrays him and is no where to be found.

He does not turn to look at his guest, but he can sense Bilbo standing at his back- but whether he is looking down at Thorin or once more looking out to the city, he cannot say. Bilbo’s voice is sweet, calm and deep like the tea he serves. “I should start heading down though, I’d still like to say a proper goodbye to a few people on my way back.”

A hand falls once again on his shoulder, squeezing for just a moment before flitting away, and the voice above him continues, easy and light, “I rather look forward to seeing Frerin again and giving him my regards as well. The way to the docks is easy enough to follow.”

There’s a pause, quiet then followed by a statement made as confidently as the previous, “You’ve had a lot on your shoulders today, as the King of Erebor. It’d be a shame to take that back on without giving yourself a chance to sit and enjoy the view as Thorin for a while. Stay, I’m in no danger of getting lost without your escort.”

Thorin closes his eyes, taking a controlled breath as Bilbo begins to step away back towards the tower ledge. “Bilbo.”

The footsteps stop.

“Thank you- For everything.”

There’s a little huff and Thorin tampers down on the urge to turn, to look back one last time. His pride keeps him rooted in his spot, the view of the city blurred. Bilbo’s parting words are even softer than his previous statements, and tinged with a tone that can only be described as warm. “Of course. I think I’ve become rather fond of you Durins, and your people- you’ve rather grown on me. I hope- I’d like to hope we’ll see each other before too long, reason regardless.”

The footsteps resume and Thorin merely sits and listens as he hears the tower creak with the growth of roots and vines that safely deposit the gardener at the base of the tower. He watches him amble away confidently, one last wave in Thorin’s direction before plunging into the crowd and being lost through the blur of distance and what Thorin will now acknowledge as tears.

Thorin wipes at his face and lets out a mix of a laugh and a sob. Bilbo had been talking about the heaviness of his title but here suddenly he was aware of a weight much heavier, one that Thorin had not noticed wrapped around his neck until he had spoken it out loud and acknowledged its existence. Only to then have it crumble around him like shadows pulling away from a light.

He had not known- he had not realized.

How many centuries had he lived with this weight on him? How many new stones had been added through the years with Elrond’s quiet caution, Thranduil’s sharp contempt, and the combined grief of his siblings? The whispers of the eternal realms subjects, the veiled insults and superstitions that he had to wear like a cloak in the eyes of the other deities.

And then his nephews found a unassuming gardener who’s first reaction was to offer a hand in friendship and empathy, rather than pull away or cower.

What a simple thing.

What a precious and unfathomable thing.

Thorin pulls the acorn close and cradles it to his chest. His sobs come in waves, as if they’ve been waiting since that day and with every small tragedy that had followed in its wake. Its unseemly, and raw, and painful and it belongs to Thorin and Thorin alone. Not his title, not his history, not anyone but himself in that moment.

As his tears taper off he lays back against the rock, staring up into the shifting purple sky as his breath hitches and calms- the acorn still clutched to his chest like a precious treasure.

His chest feels lighter than it has in eons, like the air around him has thinned to the implication of breath. And yet he is so tired, anchored to the ground.

What a immeasurable and priceless gift to be given.

#Fic Update #chapter update #Fic: Soil and Ashes #Bilbo's reached the friendship level where he unlocks Thorin's tragic backstory #im so tired lol #my writing #enjoy #i forgot to do one of these for chap 14

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angrywifelife · 4 years

Text

Update From The Silent Corner

It’s been a good three weeks since my last moment of clarity. You know...those moments where you are so angry, so pissed off that you just stop giving a fuck, stop trying, stop talking all together. Why was I mad this time? For the same reasons as every time, just blatant disrespect.

The first week, we passed by each other like two ships in the night, not a sound. A few times I felt like he was going to shoulder bump me across the room because we were just moving but I wasn’t looking for that kind of energy. I moved out of his way. We leave the house with no announcements, we come back to silence; each eats and goes to bed on their own schedule; we sleep in opposite corners.

I don’t mind these moments because it’s kind of peaceful. There is no argument, there is no fighting, there is no disrespect. There are a few anxious, slightly frighting moments where I’m anticipating an explosion and they pass, but mostly they keep me on my toes and prepared. In this quiet time, I usually reflect and take actions that make me feel better. This time it was to open my own accounts and book some much needed and long deserved travel.

The accounts mattered to me because I’m the only one contributing to them. I wasn’t spiteful, I balanced things out to be more than fair and for someone who isn’t even working, anything is more than fair, but the liberation of changing my narrative was empowering. I’m not even sorry, the actions deserve a severe punishment and both acts honestly made me feel better. The trip gave me something to look forward to and the accounts gave me a sense of genuine security. And that’s what I was actually afraid of. I was afraid that if something happened or if I couldn’t “provide”, WHO was going to take care of me for a change? That’s the one job I feel like a husband still maybe has or should have... To find a woman who doesn’t need to be taken care of, and then take of her.

In perspective, most shallow men will tell you that you’re doing a disservice to your family by taking care of you, but let that be a warning. Any man who tells you to not take care of yourself or does not encourage you to take care of yourself, or continuously takes care of himself is an idiot and his greatest accomplishment will always be to confuse you and make you feel insecure.

Sometimes I feel guilty. But not today. Today silence was broken with confrontation and again a look at how my decisions influenced things... but at no point did the idiot ever consider all of HIS decisions that got us here.

We’re getting close to the end.

I can almost feel it.

#idiot husband #idiot men #angry wife life #angry wife #decisions #insecurity #relationships #relationshits #marriage struggles #marriage #divorce warnings

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nightfayre · 5 years

Note

hi im the anon ! i dont remember what i said >

and I’m alarmed by the fandom mentality. Maybe HT means good - but how would we know? we don’t have access to his thoughts - but we must judge his actions, and his actions are for the least very troubling. It’s always abt coercing Mo and not respecting his boundaries. I see the trope “when she says no, she means yes” here and once again, the fact the fandom swallows it uncritically (bc HT is a poor, hot tortured boy) is alarming. Forcing Mo to wear his gift stinks of “this is my possession, don’t mess wt him” 2/5

Maybe im pessimistic n its actually to protect him by distance, but once again he totally disregards Mo’s will. What if he doesnt want to be protected ? what if he doesnt want to be an object to be pass around between self-entitled psychos ? The first step to protect and help someone is by listening to them. I hope Mo will react strongly and will tell HT that by saying this, he’s no different from She Li. And i hope that would provoke HT to self-reflect a lot - smth he lacks tremendously. 3/5

That being said i love HT and tianshan! And what i love is how realistic and flawed they are. Theyre both hyper violent, distrustful, and severly lacking in communication skills. Im thrilled to see how theyre going to evolve -for the better or the worse, both is good for me. But i’m very disappointed by the fandom reaction like “ooh how cute hes possessive it means love!” or “actually its not bad doing HT doing that bc his intentions are good”. 4/5

And I will be vry, vry disappointed if OX decides to follow this trend and to not show how this kind of actions is detrimental to their reliationship and use the tired and dangerous trope of “being violent means that you care”. I trust them to be more nuanced than that bc until now they are great at drawing grey relationship. So yea i hope next chapter, tianshan plunges (before being better). Anw sry for the rant, and plz continue the good work !! 5/5

phew. there’s a lot to unpack here – but I agree wholeheartedly with you. since this post is already kinda long, I will put my answer/explanation under the cut!

the parts that I bolded in your asks are what I intend to focus on in this answer. strap in, because this is going to be a long one.

before anything, let me put a disclaimer: I love He Tian. I love Guan Shan. I love Old Xian. I love tianshan, and I love where they are headed in the manhua. does that mean I also love where tianshan are right now? no, it doesn’t. and I’m here to explain why I look forward to their potential rather than their current relationship’s dynamics.

one of the hardest parts about being in a fandom is being able to separate fiction, reality, and morality. this is especially hard when a fandom is as old and endearing as 19 Days, and when you fall in love with & are rooting for all the characters. furthermore, 19 Days is not a tragedy. of course, when Jian Yi disappears, it will be tragic. but otherwise the majority of the manhua is a comical, romantic slice-of-life plot. as such, it’s easier for what would usually be seen as blaring issues/problems in tragedies to be disregarded for comedy or, in some cases, romance in a comedic, romantic slice-of-life.

this is exactly the case with tianshan. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: He Tian’s current relationship with Guan Shan is not healthy. he doesn’t listen to Guan Shan. he doesn’t respect his personal space. he doesn’t know where to draw the line. he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with him, and thus resorts to violence or threats. tianshan just have a problem with communication. and, sure, maybe it can be chalked up to the fact that they’re young and stressed and don’t know any better. but that excuse is almost as bad as the “boys will be boys” excuse, and that doesn’t make it any better nor does it justify their actions.

He Tian’s idea of relationships is so twisted, and as I talked about in a previous answer, it can probably be stemmed back to his trauma with the puppy Cheng took away from him. I won’t get too deep into that since I explained it in detail in that answer, but keep this in mind nonetheless: He Tian grew up in a family of violence, distance, miscommunication, and lies. it’s all he’s ever known, and that’s what he’s applying to his relationship with Guan Shan. does that make it right? no, absolutely not. but he’s learning.

when Guan Shan had a panic attack at the restaurant, He Tian learned that people aren’t robots/pawns to use at his disposal and rather have their own strong emotions/backgrounds that shape them. thus, he brought Guan Shan home without a word. when he had his night terror and woke up to Guan Shan holding his hands, He Tian realized that there are parts of Guan Shan he still doesn’t know and, potentially, an aspect of their relationship that they’ve only started to uncover. thus, he thanked him without preamble and with a bowed head.

what I’m trying to say is that He Tian does have good intentions at times, but not always. he’s learning as he goes, because god knows he didn’t have a family to teach him how healthy relationships should be. there probably is a part of He Tian that only wants to protect Guan Shan against She Li, but he certainly doesn’t show it in the right way. he acts possessive because he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose what he loves (*insert flashback to the puppy*). again, does that make it right? hell no. jealousy and possessiveness are not cute and are entirely unhealthy in a relationship. the fandom should view them as such, but should also keep an open mind when considering He Tian’s background.

and honestly, the reason why I’m focusing so much on He Tian right now rather than Guan Shan is because if it were up to Guan Shan, he would’ve dropped He Tian within the first few days (maybe even hours) of meeting him. but because of He Tian’s persistence, Guan Shan has no choice but to be involved with him and retaliate when He Tian verbally/physically/emotionally attacks him. nonetheless, Guan Shan has tried to walk away from He Tian on multiple occasions when He Tian’s teasing became too much, and on those occasions, He Tian has given in. (ex. I can’t find the exact chapter, but there is a chapter in which Guan Shan refuses to use He Tian’s fork to eat He Tian’s leftovers, and he gets up and says, “I’m going home,” to which He Tian replies, “Fine, fine, I’ll buy you new food.”)

so yes – tianshan certainly have flaws. He Tian holds too much power, and Guan Shan can’t catch a break. the fandom romanticizes their interactions, but if you take a moment to think realistically and recognize that character flaws are essentially bad but also critical for character development, then there is an even balance in the readers’ relationship with the manhua. don’t support He Tian’s violent interactions with Guan Shan and claim “omg He Tian loves Guan Shan sooooo much when he forces Guan Shan to do XYZ,” but rather support the fact that he hasn’t physically manhandled/harmed Guan Shan in many chapters. support and celebrate He Tian’s development, not his flaws.

and as for what you said about Guan Shan telling He Tian that he’s “no better than She Li”? while I don’t think He Tian is truly as bad as She Li, I actually think that would be a painful, great, and pivotal moment in their relationship. after all, the most consequential scene in tianshan’s relationship thus far has been the kiss. at that moment, Guan Shan had told He Tian outright that he disgusted him and to leave him alone. since then, I don’t think He Tian has ever looked so… taken aback. unsettled.

and guess what? their relationship has only gotten better since then, and He Tian hasn’t touched him like that again.

I don’t know, anon. it’s a tough call. I think tianshan have a lot more chapters ahead of them, and I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on bad terms. actually, I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on the terms that they’re on right now. they can only improve from here on out, but how Old Xian will go about showing that improvement is unknown to us. there are many paths this story can take, but rather than worrying about what might happen, let’s focus on the here and now. let’s focus on the problems at hand, and let’s focus on the development the characters are undergoing.

don’t ignore the wrongness/cruelty of characters’ actions, but don’t romanticize them either. if you do, you’re only doing a disservice to the character’s personality, existence, and the author’s intentions.

(and as for this newest chapter specifically: I see why people can get excited about He Tian telling Guan Shan to wear the earrings. He Tian wants to verify to both himself and She Li that Guan Shan is with him now. that Guan Shan is no longer under She Li’s control. who doesn’t love a little verification of their OTP’s relationship, especially when it involves an enemy?

but at the same time, it’s unhealthy. Guan Shan doesn’t have a say. he’s being handed around like an object. I don’t think this is pessimistic thinking; I think it’s the truth that no one wants to acknowledge/hear. but I’m not saying that tianshan is wrong in this chapter; I’m saying that He Tian has good intentions, but he’s not showing them correctly. and there will be a chapter in which he does show them correctly, but we must travel this rocky road before we get to that point. patience is key, and I cannot wait until He Tian and Guan Shan reach that moment of clarity. you can’t have light without the dark.)

#19 days #tianshan #mailbox #anon

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twittercomfrnklin2001-blog · 2 years

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The Humans

Remember PBS’ AMERICAN PLAYHOUSE series? For 14 years, it presented mostly videotaped adaptations of American plays (along with a few miniseries based on history and literature). A lot were simple productions, basically filmed plays, but they preserved some pretty wonderful scripts and performances, some from stage productions, others created originally for the series. I have particularly fond memories of seeing Blair Brown’s Sabina in the Guthrie Theatre’s production of Thornton Wilder’s THE SKIN OF OUR TEETH, John Malkovich and Gary Sinese in Sam Shephard’s TRUE WEST, Richard Thomas and Sada Thompson in Terrence McNally’s ANDRE’S MOTHER, Thomas and Swoosie Kurtz in Lanford Wilson’s FIFTH OF JULY and Anna Deveare Smith in her own FIRES IN THE MIRROR. I’m sure you have your own favorites; feel free to share.

I felt a wave of nostalgia for the series watching Stephen Karam’s adaptation of his own THE HUMANS (2021). I had been very moved by the Broadway production and its depiction of the breakdown of the American family under the pressures of modern life. The Blake family has assembled for Thanksgiving dinner at their younger daughter, Bridget’s seedy Chinatown apartment. The action covers the film’s running time, during which various family crises come to light: elder daughter Aimee has lost her law firm job over health issues while also being dumped by her long-time girlfriend; Bridget has to work as a bartender because her career as a composer-musician is going nowhere; the parents’ marriage also has its share of strains. All this comes out in an atmosphere of family teasing, silly jokes and hurt feelings.

Unfortunately, Karam the director has done a great disservice to Karam the writer. After about half an hour of closeups of moldering walls and backs of heads, shots with walls masking half the action or people out of focus, I screamed at the TV, “For God’s sake, show me some faces!” Jayne Houdyshell, who repeats her award-winning stage performance, gets off the easiest. Karam lets us see her react to things and build to her character’s big moments. Maybe it helped that I’d seen her on stage, so I could fill in the gaps whenever the direction left things out. The rest — Richard Jenkins, Amy Shumer, Beanie Feldstein, Stephen Yuen and June Squibb — all sound great, and there’s a terrifying clarity to some of Squibb’s speeches as the grandmother with Alzheimer’s. I began to wonder if the director hated them, however, and hated Jenkins the most. His big moments in the script are almost totally obscured. There are two places where the "creative" direction works. A move to show the street during the family’s Thanksgiving prayer does a good job of placing the events within a barren cityscape, and the final shot, showing both floors of the apartment at once, captures the poetic moments director Joe Mantello helped create at the play’s end. Pity he didn’t get to direct the film.

#dramas #play adaptations #amy schumer

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benchgenderstudies · 6 years

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Chloe Dykstra:The Groupie that Expected Too Much Out of A Celebrity's Rebound Relationship

Why Women Are Not Above Bad Relationship Blame When Their Decisions Insist Bad Relationships for Ulterior Motives. The environment of the abuse

by Michael Bench

The scandal surrounding Chris Hardwick broke in the recent hours centered around a past relationship and a blog alleging itself a confession by Chloe Dykstra. What should raise your awareness is “Why” and “Who is she?” I don't mean like “Who is she to allege this?” I mean “Where do her wants choose compromise against what she wants.” In her post on Medium she said she desired to have a 1) a partner, 2) someone to confide in ,3) someone to share things with , 4)not be judged ( you're going to be judged , stop being insecure),5) “Someone to be there for me”, 6)”What I felt that this man wanted was a woman who would feed him, sleep with him and go to events with him”. In most of these, she's asking for a therapist. For the same reasons women are asked “Why didn't you leave”, they also get bugged out why men leave them. Judged:Not working out, snoring, adult acne, interest conflicts, not wanting kids, wanting too many kids, prefers wood heating, prefers Birkenstocks, White Inferiorist etc etc.

Alright, do we have that? 6 reasons that Chloe Dykstra says she wants. I'm going to alter number 6 a bit . Beings that Dykstra was attracted to the scenery around Chris Hardwick, we can rewrite that “ I want to go to events”. Further on in the blog we have the clarity moment “Nobody can save me but myself”. Exactly, So this is where female relationship checklists have to move into the new age of deciding when they aren't getting something, making sure they SPEAK UP as to whether it's available, or whether its time to move on ..even if the person is bound for fame. If a characteristic is not available or not changing, its not any females role to try to mother it either. It's their duty and responsibility to MOVE ON and not self induce frustration for no reason at all. These are hardset rules'; don't fuck with it.

Whether the person is bound for fame or not ..their fame isn't your fame and a lot of fame is a poisonous batch of the wrong people making it popular.. such as Dykstra's obsession with diets.

What aggravates me about Dykstra's so called confession is she admits what she wanted out of a relationship with Hardwick is an arm on his redcarpet moments. It goes without saying that if she didn't like anal sex ; which she is yet insecure of, that its the wrong relationship from the beginning. In a broader sense of the topic, people who desire celebrities must understand they should make no expectations of monogamy, make no requests of exclusive relationships , and let celebs be celebs as far as you are willing to be okay with what they want.

Dykstra accepted a condition of staying in a hotel during a San Diego Comicon? Are you kidding yourself? Did you want to go or not? This is why I started the blog “Who is Chloe Dykstra (for herself).This is your life Dykstra, you have to be willing to know what's more important to you:Codependent carpet rides or experiencing it for yourself. Nobody can “live you” but you. If being Hardwicks pet is what you decide on , that's on you. Congratulations on deciding to get out eventually. I'm not going to pat you on the back for airing his dirty laundry specifically for your revenge though.

Perhaps it's good his flaws are out.

If Hardwick is that person lets not ignore he didn't give his so called friends much time in his life either. I don't say that to normalize the treatment. I say it for females/everyone to realize your minimal treatment should be expected at least on par with (his) longer term friends. What seems to be outted here at least from this blog is Hardwick might be gay and the result of trying to play a heterosexual male is lousy treatment of women around him. If he's not bisexual , then his needs of dominance either suggest low self esteem despite his celebrity status (as alcoholics will be) or a flawed want of dominating people for his own sadistic impulses. This is usual for people with Narcissistic personality disorder; a factors which I feel both Dykstra and Hardwick share? Expect an apology? Not likely. Dykstra's blacklisting from the industry isn't something I can fact check.

There's a lot of reciprocity expectation in this Dykstra confession blog but she doesn't make expectations of reciprocity early enough. If you want a relationship, demand the same of it. Don't loiter for this random schmuck to roll the carpet out for you to walk on. Don't be the chick behind the scenes, Own your own fame, Dykstra. That's what I don't like .. seeing women awestruck with trophy dating taking a backslide to traditional underserving roles for their own conveniences.

Is it convenient to not demand a night of pegging Chris with your own strapon if anal sex isn't your thing??? Dammit Dykstra, a relationship is about self respect. The relationship with Hardwick was a task of disrespect according to you. So who's to blame for knowing what creepy and uncomfortable is and not walking away? Unlike many other cases of domestic abuse where we have no alibi for why women stay, this one was clear: Dykstra wanted her trophy Comicon star for the secondary flashbulbs and tabloid images. It's part of her own eating disorder. She wants to reinforce her presumptions being emaciated is normal when .. its not. And for the people at home, don't buy this “ I just didn't see the flags”. She saw the fucking flags .. she was in it for herself and as anorexics will be.. accepted the external pain for her wants well into an unhealthy casual relationship. Its a relationship she distortedly told herself was going somewhere. It wasn't . Are you a woman or a hermitcrab, Chloe? Do you have decency for yourself or just keep looking for shiny shells?. The “Confession”Concludes Dykstra was settling to be a sidegirl for her own life. Thats whats sad

I'm not sure if Chris Hardwick also wants a dick in the ass or whether its an obsession with his celebrity status. I'm suggesting the latter. Since I have a ref shirt on here for Gender Studies.. if the starfishing was done to be painful and perhaps even rectally tearing , Dykstra can elect a pitch hitter to settle that up. Flag on the play!!!!

Sex is physical love Hardwick. If you need dominance, get in the ring and have an even bout for the pain, to the pain. There's people out there that stick their gonads together with disgust and vile treatment of each other in roleplays. That's their choice. I suggest look at the whole relationship and decide if spicing it up is just prolonging something thats over by treating each other badly. In that case, Go to your corners. Go to your locker rooms. Leave the building from separate parking lots and begone with both of you.!! Still , I'm troubled but this accusation “Dykstra went along with a sexual assault. “ Went along with? Were you having sex and he wanted a rape role play you weren't into ? This is not clear. After 17 drafts of anger its thrown into the mix like a “whatever” situation. Like it was needing a “#MeToo coattail when it didnt. If it applies , it applies.

I'm not sure whether its better to speculate he cornered into her hotel room when he couldnt get laid by any famous other comicon celeb or whether this was part of his personal assault as a narcissist. Lack of details disservices the seriousness of the accusation/crime. Since I did suggest he brought along a backup sidegirl for his comicon appearances, it occurs to me this situation is a double fault outcome of how two narcissists feeding each other with nothingness and role playing come to injure each other. Hardwick is a former game show host and Dykstra is unknown to me; Both are not familiars.

This story deserves the attention of a new movement that does not excuse women for ulterior motives and loitering a relationship with nothing in it other than avoiding the fear of being single. It's a real tragedy.. The women who are owed respect cannot be offset by those that crawl along a sidewalk gutter looking for their quick meal ticket to fame. The Melania Trumps for example. Low an behold, they'll let themselves be treated like the gutter and thats no woman; They have to own up to their bad decisions, their lousy low bar for what being a female is and thats why I wrote it. “The #DontDefineFemaleLikeYoureAFuckingIdiot Movement”.

So as you ought clearly see. I apply blame to select situations where the female owed her person better of known wants and settled to be the codependent sidecar. Too long we’ve heard the term victim blaming instead of address the circumstances being raised. If we are a competent race then we understand that blaming a female for her assailant isn’t on the table. The assault behavior is by one actor’s own decision. Shout it out when you see the victims posse try and raise it like its a norm of the conversation. Its not. Females who will not face the blame of their issues will not seek to change the behaviors that enable male bad behavior. Its real, so don’t ignore the blame. The first one I can name is women who either “play hard to get” or endorse it when they really caved to unwanted repetitive harassment.

Final points:

Females.. before you decide on dating celebrities, read the various “Guides to Dating Musicians”.:Never invest time today you expect to get back tomorrow. If you have a spotlight, its you're duty to also not make it too easy for random groupies of your own just to slink in and out of. Be mindful of your own accomplishments or why the lack thereof is happening. All people have a right to hookup so just don't presume more of celebrities if you managed to hook up with one. The sea of sex partners is many. Choosing to settle for the “very next one', “being fed up with dating”, “looking only for someone invested in long term relationships”... are the people insecure and lazy for themselves. Long term dating rests on good short term dating. I can tell you why women don't leave bad relationships. They “feel above the bother” of meeting more people. Women settle, Men exhaust them for attention and thats the street level problem of the laymen dater too insecure to let things change.

Dating is like a Buffet, Not a Crowded Parking Lot. Get better at dating, not eating.

Till Next Time..

Sincerely

Michael Bench, MEP,GCERT

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