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tessandscottforever18 · 2 years

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Mar 28

Camila Cabello is the cover of ELLE Mexico and talks about her love for Mexico and Cuba.

The singer stars in the April cover at ELLE Mexico and talks about her new album, "Familia"

Over a period of a year and a half Camila Cabello created Familia, her new album. The time was perfect for him to live many experiences he wrote about. In this new stage of his life he is more interested in fashion, getting closer to his cultures, finding people he can trust, reinforcing his friendships, as well as processing and alchemizing his feelings. In our remote conversation we touched on several topics, some deep and others lighter. Sometimes the tone of her voice suggested that what she was telling me was very personal, however, it shows that she is ready to open up to the world, get rid of her fears and live her glow up.

Alan Gobe (AG): Do you prefer us to speak in English, Spanish or Spanish?

Camila Cabello (CC): I mean, I have more English vocabulary, but I can speak Spanish as well.

AG: Perfect, how was the photo shoot?

CC: I loved the shoot! The stylist is a Mexican who brought a thousand designer options. I am increasingly interested in fashion.

AG: When did you begin to be aware of the clothes you wear and the way you want to project yourself?

CC: When I started my career in this industry I was about fifteen years old, and at that time I didn't care what I used, I went back and forth and immediately afterwards I had a stylist who told me how to dress. To be honest, I have always known what I like and what I don't, but last year, when I was alone in Brooklyn writing for my new album, I began to expand my mind and try new styles with makeup, hairstyle and even follow fashion designers on Instagram. I fell in love with vintage clothing stores, which inspired me to want to decorate myself and gave me back my love of fashion.

AG: That shows in your video "Don't Go Yet", I think there is a glow up. Visually everything feels much more attractive; the colors, the clothes, the movements...

CC: That was the first time in my life that I felt that I became an adult, I tried different hats to see which one fit me better, which one felt more like I feel. Much of it is because I want to connect with all that I am; with my family and my culture. The colors in "Don't Go Yet" and this new album are as vivid as our culture. All these new aspects come from me wanting to know who I am and who I want to be.

AG: I love that you talk about the cultural issue. I listened to some Family songs and it feels very natural for you to sing in English and Spanish, because it's part of you.

CC: I am an immigrant who came to the United States when I was seven years old, I grew up with a Mexican dad and a Cuban mom, which made me feel in the middle. The strong bond I have with my Mexican and Cuban cultures makes me feel like I have a home and that inspires me. The more mature I want to be in those places surrounded by my people and learn more about the cultures that are present in me.

AG: Characters like Michelle Obama when she was the first lady of the United States, for example, she wore fashion from designers in her country. Brigitte Macron does the same as a symbol of support. Do you want to do the same with Mexican and Cuban fashion?

CC: I had already started working on that with my stylist, but now that I have come closer to fashion, I am interested in supporting the people I would like to see succeed, and Latinos are those people, they are in my heart and they are part of my culture. I want to support them and give visibility to the talent that exists, to Cuban and Mexican designers. That excites me a lot.

AG: There is a theory that depending on the language you speak, your personality changes, in part because there is a closeness and emotional connection with languages. Do you feel anything like that?

CC: I definitely feel that way. When I speak Spanish, the young parts come out of me, those that are in my subconscious from birth until I lived in Cuba and Mexico. It is my most childish and innocent version, before the struggles and confrontations with mental health problems and everything that comes with growing up. Since last year I have been trying to read and watch more series in Spanish, spend more time with that side of me, the intact part of my personality, as when a child knows only joy and happiness. *The lord of tamales sounds* "Oh my gosh, how rich," says Camila.

AG: Before, if a Latin artist sang in English, it seemed that he had achieved success and now many Anglo-Saxon artists are singing in Spanish. Why do you think this change has arisen?

CC: For me, writing in Spanish has to come from wanting to create an authentic connection with people. After "Havana" many wanted to collaborate with me, suddenly they wanted me to make music in Spanish, they thought I was going to sell more because it's hot, but I opposed it. This was the first time I felt that it should be in Spanish. I didn't know that I was going to create an album inspired by Latin music, it was supposed to be pop music, but when I met Edgar Barrera (composer) and Cheche Alara - the producer with whom I made "Bam Bam" - it felt natural. We felt connected through music and for me it was about creating Latin music with people of Latin origin.

AG: Why is your album called Family?

CC: I remember watching C's Tiny Desk. Tangana where there is a table with people around, like a festive dinner, and I said to myself: "That's what I want in my life." At that time I was born to cook and invite people to my house, I began to be a more sociable person, because before I was very introverted. I wanted that stage of my life to be one of great friendships, to be close to the people with whom I am making the album. That was a reason for the name, and on the other hand, my blood family that is a large part of who I am.

AG: I heard "Bam Bam", "Lola", "Good life" and "To the teeth". It seems to me that each one talks about love in a very specific and different way.

CC: I wrote about the things I was going through at the time. "Hasta los dientes" was one of the first songs, then "La buena vida" and "Bam Bam". It was really an evolution of my feelings and my life. The good thing is that I was able to take the time to do it and write it in a period of a year and a half, where I was in a relationship and then not anymore. I wrote about that and the different experiences. If I had written a song every day for a month, probably all those songs would have looked alike because my life was not changing so much.

AG: Exactly that's what it feels like, not only in the lyrics but in the music, they are very different. "Lola" feels mysterious while "Bam Bam" is more fun and full of life.

CC: Lola was written while the San Isidro movement was taking place in Cuba. I put it on my choreographers and they told me that she felt very sexy. The lyrics talk about a girl who is incredibly intelligent, talented and with a lot of potential, but who can't do anything with her talent because she lives in a country that censors her and does not give her opportunities. I contacted Yotuel, who was part of the song "Homeland and life", which pays tribute to this movement where people protested in the streets of Cuba against the dictatorship that has existed for a long time. He wrote his part of the song and sent it to me, we talked about the reality of a beautiful country that they have wanted to destroy.

AG: Do you think your music is to empathize with people and tell stories about what others live and feel, and thus connect with others?

CC: "Lola" is different because on that particular day I guess I was in the studio thinking about that situation in my life, and how different it would have been if I had stayed there. That song comes from a place to try to understand what life is like there, but in reality my songs are to make me feel better, I wonder how I feel and I start creating. It's processing and alchemizing my feelings.

AG: Which Family song is closest to your heart?

CC: "Psychofreak" because that's where I felt most vulnerable and exposed. I felt very anxious in the studio and suddenly I improvised a letter. I remember feeling terrible and embarrassed when I finished that day, but also afraid to open up in such a way and talk about it. In the end it ended up being one of my favorites because I undressed my soul.

AG: What is the song about?

CC: I talk a lot about my anxiety about relationships, about the struggle to try to be present despite feeling paranoid or insecure. At that time, I was with a person who loved me, but I was afraid and ashamed of being afraid. It was difficult to talk about it because at that time I didn't talk much about my anxiety. In that song are the craziest and deepest thoughts I have when it comes to being in a relationship with someone.

AG: Where do you think your passion for music comes from?

CC: I don't know, it has definitely always been my passion. I remember listening to music obsessively and singing all the time. I always sang in my room, my dad and grandmother love music, I guess it comes from there, but it's indescribable, music is everything to me. I can feel happy and have a connection with other things, but not in the same way. I have a unique connection with music.

AG: Like this idea of the eight different loves: the romantic, the affective, the erotic, and there is one called agape or unconditional love, the type of love to which people aspire because it is the most complete. Do you feel that this is the love you have for music?

CC: What you say is very nice and I think it's true. The people who know me know what I like the most, for me music is sacred. All I want to do is create, be honest with myself, feel that I am expressing myself, that I am growing as an artist and that I am challenging myself. I wouldn't do it just to sell, at this point in my career I am very sure of what I want in life and what is important to me. Music is the most sacred relationship for me, all it asks me is to be honest, and if I am, what I receive is magic.

AG: And when you are honest with yourself, everything fits down, doesn't it?

CC: 100%

AG: Apart from the release of your new album, what else do you expect from 2022?

CC: I am excited about the idea of traveling more, in fact I would like to spend more time in Mexico, I talked about it with the stylist in the shoot today. I want to be and feel more present in life, to live "Bam Bam".

#camila cabello #elle mexico #interview: elle #cc3 #familia

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kissesandcream · 3 years

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lets play a game! tag and associate your mutuals/friends with colors + a song and why! and name one thing you love about their work! have fun! (o^▽^o)

i got two of these so i'll just answer them on one!! this is fun thank u to both the anons who sent it hehe <3

all of my moots are super sweet so this is gonna be fun !!

• @pirapurin - please don't say you love me , lilac

okay so technically amy doesn't write anymore but her writing is so very realistic, and her art is too, so that's why i chose the song! it's soft yet very vibrant and down-to-earth, just like her style and the color.

• @kirislut - you'll be on my mind , hot pink

i don't think it's legal to associate meg with a color that isn't hot pink,, she really own the color what can i say 😌 meg gives me summer vibes, her works are vibrant and light-hearted, so that's why i chose the song!

• @sugas-sweetheart - dandelions , gray

sof is like my older sister, we speak everyday and she's the nicest person ever. she's very cozy, and it's in her writing style as well, which is why i chose the song and the color! gray reminds me of soft velvet and wool, and she's just as sweet. <3

• @love-in-the-time-of-waffles - be around , black

mel is literally the reason im alive at this point, she keeps me going through everything and gives me a reason to do what i do! i love her very much, i associate her with black because she's sort of a light in my darkness. her art gets better and better every piece, it's lovely to watch <3

• @justamultifandomfan16 - strawberry mentos , pastel blue

abril loml my soulmate <33 they're super sweet and positive, and i love them so much! they are the most amazing person to goof around with and make tens and thousands of incomplete aus- im usually a horrible listener but i could listen to them ramble on for hours on end and never get bored.

• @hushyouu - are you bored yet , dark red

ven!! my first moot on this blog! they're a very bubbly personality, hence the song and color- dark red reminds me of strawberries, and they remind me of strawberries too, sweet and pretty! they're a lovely friend and i'd love to get to know them better, their art style is so pretty too!

• @mattsvn - love and war , midnight blue

nana is a very lovely person, i love them and their personality sm even though i don't talk with them as often anymore. their writing is literally the greatest thing ever,, it inspired me so much! the color and song give me omnious vibes, i feel like they'd like them pFf

i have more moots but my memory for their urls is non existant,,, i love them all so much but my brain refuses to remember anything im so sorry 😃 i used to have a google doc for urls but at one point i stopped updating it <///3

this was fun!! i know only love songs but fair enough i love all my moots dearly <3

#; nymph chatter #anon ; fairy circle #posting this is giving me anxiety why

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foreveradreamlover · 4 years

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amores que matan parte 1

so yes, here it is. My first attempt at writing a semi-decent body of work. There will be a number of warnings so make sure to go through them before preceding. Enjoy! (I apologize in advance for the formatting, I use Tumblr on my phone 🥴) @lavenderhoney12 thank you for inspiring me to write this, I wouldn’t have wrote it at all without you 🤩💖

warnings: young naive reader, terrible Spanish and English translations, work has not been proofread, angst, hurt, power dynamics, future throuple between Miguel-Maria-Reader, possible dubious consent because of the power dynamic, possible dark undertones, talk of abortion and infedelity. Idk what else I’m missing but I’m sure I hit all the marks without giving it all away.

Sometimes you wished you hadn’t met Felix and Maria. Your life would have been so much easier if you hadn’t crossed paths with them and fallen for both of them. And as you laid between them in their marital bed, you realized your life was going to get a lot more complicated now. You stared at the ceiling, feeling tears well up in your eyes. The guilt began to eat you up, the regret sank in.

You don’t belong here, you have no place here. There was no room for you in their marriage, no matter how spacious their bed was. A marriage is a commitment between two people, a third was not possible. You managed to hold in your sobs as you realized how royally fucked you were because you didn’t want to wake them up. You already felt terrible enough, you didn’t want them to make you feel even worse by trying to justify it.

But how did you get into this mess?

The events of the night before were hazy but as you wiped your tears it all became clear again.

You began yesterday morning like any other morning in the Felix household. It was your responsibility to wake up Abril and Miguelito, as you were the full time nanny, and get them ready for the day. It was the best job you ever had, honestly. You love those two like your own and they were great kids. After the kids were taken to school, you left a two weeks notice letter on Maria’s desk when you returned back to the house.

The rest of the day was anxiety inducing, you spent the majority of your time trying to steer clear from Maria but also trying to complete the chores like organizing Abril’s closet. Eventually, you couldn’t hide from her anymore when Maria managed to have Abril trick you into meeting outside by the pool.

“Gracias mi amor. (Thank you my love)” María smiled at Abril as the little girl practically dragged you outside, knowing that the plan had worked just as she predicted. “Ahora puedes jugar con tu hermanito. Pero no juegan aquí, necesito hablar con tu niñera. (You van go play with your brother now. But you cannot play here, I need to speak with your nanny)”

Abril nodded and before you could make up another excuse, Maria held up your letter.

“¿Qué chingados es esto? (What the fuck is this?)” Maria was never one to beat around the bush, it almost made you regret dropping the notice on Maria’s desk instead of Felix’s.

Felix at least would have accepted it and not confronted you about it. He knew you were replaceable. Maria on the other hand surprised you. At the most you expected a slight sadness but never anger.

“¿Lo leíste? (You read it?)” you cringed, watching Maria’s eyebrows furrow even deeper.

“¡Cómo no! (Of course!)” she noticed you taking a step back before reeling her anger back in, “Perdón, a la mejor estoy un poco confundida. Pense que estabas feliz aqui, cuidando a mis hijos. Fue hace unas pocas semanas cuando me dijiste que estabas la mas feliz que ha sentido en tu vida. ¿Qué cambió? Y no quiero mentiras, quiero la verdad. (Sorry, maybe I’m a bit confused. I thought you were happy here, taking care of my kids. It was just a few weeks ago when you told me that you were the happiest you have ever felt in your life. What changed? And I don’t want to hear your lies, I want the truth.)”

When she asked you that question, you felt your heart beat so fast that you swore even Maria could hear it. You looked at Maria’s face and you knew in that instant that no matter how hard you tried, you would never be able to lie to her. You cared too much about her to lie. Especially in her face when she’s asking for the truth. Even if the truth may scare her or make her despise you, she would have to respect it. She asked so you had to deliver.

You took a deep breath, feeling your eyes starting to water up and causing Maria to give a concerning look. She was about to walk closer to you when you lightly put you hand up to indicate her that you were fine.

“Yo - yo no sé cómo decir esto. Honestamente, no pensé que te lo diría, cara a cara pronto así. No estoy segura que puedo hacerlo. Es different pensarlo que decirlo. Creo que podría morir aquí antes de poder decirlo...(I—I don’t know how to say this. Honestly, I didn’t think I would say it, face to face this soon. I’m not sure if I can do it. It’s different thinking it than saying it aloud. I think I could die before I could say it)” Your voice wavered, Maria’s face suddenly blurry from the tears shedding from your eyes at an alarming rate.

It was like all the tears you had refused to shed for months had finally decided to come out now.

“Mija... puedes decirlo. No sé qué es lo que tienes dentro pero tienes que dejarlo salir. Puedo ver que está haciendo más daño solo por estar dentro de ti. Suéltalo, te vas a sentir mejor si lo hagas. (Honey, you can say it. I don’t know what it is inside you but you have to let it out. I can see that it’s doing more bad being inside of you. Let it go, you’ll feel better if you do that)”

You didn’t know how but those words gave you the last needed to push to finally say it.

“Maria, me gustas desmiasado. No tenía idea de que querer a alguien así podría doler tanto. Pensé que enamorarme de alguien sería hermoso como una rosa, pero las espinas me pellizcaron... Si hubiera sabido que enamorarme de ti me haría sentir así, me habría ido antes. Me quedé porque pensé que podría superarlo. Pero no puedo, así que es mejor que me vaya. Te ruego que me dejes ir. (María, I like you too much. I had no idea that liking someone would hurt so much. I thought falling in love with someone would be beautiful like a rose but the thorns pinched me. If I knew that loving you would make me feel this way, I would have left sooner. I stayed longer than I should have because I thought I would get over it. But I can’t, so it’s better if I leave. I beg you to let me leave.)” Your words came out slurred, you weren’t even sure if it was audible through the sobs.

You felt incredibly vulnerable, your vision unclear and your mind foggy. You hadn’t a clue where Maria stood or if she was even there. All you felt was your heart breaking each passing second you heard silence. You just poured out your heart of all the thoughts you harbored for months, did she know you were happy because you were in love with her? Your happiness was just a facade, it was the rose colored glasses that made you think this was love. Love couldn’t possibly feel this cruel and hurtful.

You were about to wipe your tears when you felt a pair of hands cup your face. The thumbs carefully wiped away your tears, allowing for some relief from the waterfalls pouring out of your eyes. You relished in their touch, not knowing how good it was just to be in contact with another person. You were truly touch starved and even their simple brush of your tears was enough to heal some of your deep-seated wounds you possessed. You were broken and it took one unattainable love to make you realize.

“Ya, ya. Suelta todo que tienes dentro de ti. Te vas a sentir mejor cuando todo esto se termine. (Now, now. Let go of everything inside you. You’ll feel much better when all of this is done.)” María whispered, pulling you closer to her and stroking your hair. You shuddered and felt like the tears would never be able to stop. Maria didn’t yell at you like expected, she pitied you. You honestly didn’t know what was worse. You got to be in Maria’s arms but for the wrong reasons.

You’re so stupid, you thought to yourself. You can’t compete with Felix, which you still had unrealized feelings for by the way. He’s the breadwinner and father to her children, you’re just a stupid nanny who fell in love with someone she couldn’t have.

Having your face buried in Maria’s shoulder only made you feel more in love with her in a fucked up away. Her compassion towards you made you fall harder. With this embrace, you could smell the expensive floral and sweet perfume and feel her in a way you could have only imagined before this exchange. It would have probably hurt you less if she pushed you off her and refused to see you again. At least then you would know to move on. This unexpected reaction from Maria has left you confused. This hug seemed too friendly for a simple embrace.

“¡Señora! (Mrs!)” fellow employee called out, a phone in her hand. “Habla Señor Felix! (Mr. Felix is calling!)”

And just like that, the things you thought you could only dream of crumbled as Maria took her hand out of your hair and sighed. Maria turned to the elderly woman, giving a weak smile, “Por favor dígale que no puedo atender el teléfono. Estoy un poco preocupada en este momento. (Please tell him I’m not able to come to the phone. I’m busy at the moment.)”

The older woman nodded, heading back inside as Maria pulled you back in for another warm hug. You tried to make words, feeling your lips tremble every time you attempted to say something. Your mouth felt dry and your head throbbed with pain. You weren’t sure if you would have any tears left after this episode, they were coming all at once.

“Creo que deberíamos entrar a la casa. Tu cara se siente caliente. (I think we should head inside. Your face feels hot.)” María pulled back to examine your face, a worried expression on her own face when she put the back of her hand on your forehead.

You nodded weakly, suddenly remembering you two were talking outside the whole time. You really hoped nobody heard walking by. The future was uncertain now. Maria neither accepted or rejected your two weeks notice and now that she knows that you loved her, the chances of her being comfortable around you were probably slim to none. You couldn’t blame her if she was uncomfortable with this situation, she was married and you worked for her. You also didn’t know if she even liked women.

You didn’t think you did either until you saw Maria for the first time.

Maria wrapped an arm around your shoulder as she lead the way into the house and to your bedroom. Your eyes kept steady to the ground, averting any possible eye contact with anyone who happened to be nearby. The whole walk to your bedroom was so eerie and tense that you wished nothing more than to disappear.

Maria helped you onto your bed and you accepted the comfort of the bed instantly because you had a feeling that the bed was going to be your only companion from now onwards. At least you got to hug her twice, you thought bitterly. To avoid any more conversation, you turned away from Maria and to the wall, hoping she would walk out and leave you be. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself but more so her anymore. You said enough and for that, you felt that you deserved to be excommunicated.

Instead, you felt her sit at the front of the bed.

“Siempre supe que me amabas. (I always knew you loved me)” She sighed loudly, hearing the instant relief washing over her. The fact shocked you, how did she know? When did she find out? Was it that obvious? The questions came faster than the possible answers and it was as if she knew what you thought because immediately after the short silence she said, “No me interrumpas. Has hablado bastante. Ahora es mi turno. (Don’t interrupt me. You’ve talked a lot already. It’s my turn now.)”

You kept quiet, looking at the wall to try to stop the thinking.

“Sé que te estás preguntando cómo lo supe. Creo que lo supe cuando me dijiste que eras feliz hace unas semanas. Sé cuando a alguien le gusta otra persona y lo vi en ti. Traté de no pensar en la posibilidad de que yo te gustara, no quería pensar eso porque no quería verte de manera extraña. También crecí en una casa muy religiosa ... Nunca le he dicho esto a nadie, ni siquiera a Miguel ... pero siempre supe que también me gustaban las chicas. Y por eso, me asusté cuando me dijiste que me amabas. Mi primer pensamiento fue rechazarte ... fingir que esto no sucedió y dejarte ir como pediste. Pero luego recordé cómo me sentí cuando mi mejor amiga me llamó lesbiana sucia...(I know you’re asking yourself how I knew. I found out when you told me you were happy a few weeks ago. I know when someone likes another person and I saw it on your face. I tried not to think about the possibility of you liking me, I didn’t want to view you weirdly. I also grew up in a religious household...I never told anyone this, not even Miguel but I knew from a young age that I also liked girls along with boys. That is why I was scared when you told me you loved me. My first thought was to deny what you said, to pretend it never happened and let you go like you asked. But I began to remember when my best friend called me a dirty lesbian...)” Maria’s voice wavered a bit before she cleared her throat to continue with her little story, “Recuerdo sentirme tan mal conmigo misma. Pensé que mis sentimientos eran repugnantes y eso me hizo dejar esos sentimientos a un lado. No fue hasta que llegaste cuando empecé a recordarlos. (I remember feeling terrible with myself. I thought my feelings were disgusting and that caused me to put my feelings to the side. It’s what until you came into my life that I began to remember them.)”

“M—María... ¿Porqué me estas diciendo esto? (Why are you telling me this?)” your voice cracked, turning to your other side to see her back was facing towards you. “No es necesario que me explique. No sé qué decir ... Has sido amable conmigo en los pocos meses que trabajo aquí. Realmente amo mi trabajo pero no entiendo el sentido de esta conversación. Estoy despedida ... al menos creo que estoy despedida. (You don’t need to explain to me all of this. I don’t know what to say. You’ve been so kind to me in the few months I’ve worked here. I really love my job but I don’t know why you’re telling me all this. I’m fired...at least I think I am fired.)”

Maria turned to you, her face streaming with tears, “No estas despedida. Te lo digo para que cuando empiece a besarte, no te sorprendas. (You are not fired. I am telling you all of this because when I start to kiss you, you won’t be surprised.)”

The words almost didn’t register fast enough as Maria leaned down to kiss you, slowly at first so it didn’t overwhelm you. Once it began to sink in, you kissed back eagerly. You didn’t know if you were dreaming or dead, everything seemed to happen so fast. Never in a million years did you think your feelings would be reciprocated.

Maria’s hand gripped the hair on the back of your head, intending to keep your face in place when she broke the messy kiss to peck at your neck. Even though you two only kissed once, it told you a lot about Maria. Things you suspected but never truly could have known until this moment.

Maria is domineering. She’s the one in control and you were the one to be controlled. You didn’t mind, you were taking anything you could get from her.

Maria was also playful, her free hand was playing with your necklace as she kissed around the exposed skin on you neck and upper chest.

But above all, she was passionate. You were so under her spell and past sanity that you didn’t notice when she unbuttoned your white shirt. Your face flushed as you looked down to see that she had taken off her own top, wondering if this was a signal to take off the rest of your clothes. You fumbled with your hands to reach your back to begin unhooking your bra when she stopped you.

“Creo que deberíamos continuar con los besos. Lo que queremos no puede suceder porque no tenemos suficiente tiempo. No pensé que me pondría cachonda tan rápido.” She smiled as she traced a finger along your collarbone, “Te ves tan hermosa sin camisa puesta, casi no puedo esperar para ver más. (We should continue with only kissing. What we want cannot happen because we don’t have enough time. I didn’t think I would get horny so fast. You look beautiful without a shirt on, I can hardly wait to see more of you).”

You blushed and leaned in to continue making out with her. Maria pulled you onto her lap to straddle her, her hand immediately grabbing your ass. You gave a surprised gasp, making Maria laugh in response. You both kiss each other, your lips feeling swollen when you parted. You pulled away, breathless and laid down on the bed.

“Esto se siente mal. Usted es mi patrona, cuido a los niños... eres una mujer casada. (This feels wrong. You’re my boss, I watch the kids...you’re a married woman).” You began to panic, sitting up instantly in fright when Maria placed her hand on your stomach to push you back down.

“Querida, tengo una pregunta y quiero una respuesta. (Darling, I have a question and I want an answer from you)” Maria turned to you and made sure you two shared eye contact, “Te gusta mi marido, ¿no? (You like my husband, don’t you?)”

You gave her a confused look. Did Maria know all? Had she been spying on you? How does she know that you like Miguel as well? I guess I’m not as secretive as I thought, you thought to yourself. But how can you answer her? What was the right answer? What did she want to hear?

“No no. ¡No pienses! No me gusta cuando haces eso. (No, no. Don’t think about it! I don’t like when you do that.)” Maria shook her head, “Quiero que me des una respuesta honesta. No quiero escuchar una mentira, quiero escuchar la verdad. Usted me puede decir. Realmente me gustaría saber. (I want you to give me an honest answer. I don’t want to hear a lie, I want to hear the truth. You can tell me. I would really like to know.)”

You felt your heart beat faster, suddenly feeling dizzy. You barely realized your dehydration from crying so much earlier.

“Bueno ... parece que ya sabes la respuesta. (Well...it sounds like you already know the answer to your question)” You bit your lip, wiping the slight precipitation on your upper lip.

“Me conoces bien. (You know me well)” Maria gave a wide grin, leaning down to kiss your forehead, “Quiero oírte decirlo. Quiero escucharlo de tus labios. Si no dices nada, haré que uses tus labios de otras formas. (I want to hear you say it. I want to hear it from your lips. If you don’t say anything, I will have you use your lips in other ways).”

Your eyes widened, “Para mí, eso suena maravilloso. (For me, that sounds wonderful)” Maria shot you an unamused expression, prompting you to finally confess, “Tu esposo también me gusta. Lo siento. No eres solo tú. También es él. Y me hace sentir aún más repugnante. (I like Miguel too. I’m sorry. It’s not just you. It’s him as well. And it makes me feel even more disgusting.)”

Maria wasn’t phased, deciding to lay down next to you finally and looking up at the ceiling, “Tuviste ojos en él desde que llegaste. Pensé que ustedes dos ya habrían dormido juntos antes de esto. Todo el mundo sabe que se acuesta con putas. Supongo que elegí no darme cuenta. Todo estuvo bien hasta que me encontré con esa puta que quedó embarazada de él. (You’ve has eyes on him since you’ve arrived. I thought you two would have already slept together by now. The whole word knows that Miguel sleeps with whores. I guess I chose to be ignorant to the fact. I was fine with pretending it wasn’t an issue until I found the whore he impregnated).”

You gasped but quickly regretting it. You had heard the rumors from other employees but didn’t think there was any truth to them.

“Le di dos opciones. La primera fue abortar al bebé y recibir algo de dinero como compensación por el trauma de perder a un hijo. La segunda era tener el bebé y recibir el dinero suficiente para salir de Guadalajara. Me vale madres que pasará con el bebé o ella, me costó mucho no matar a Miguel cuando me contó lo que pasó. Me avergonzó al hacerme hablar con ella en lugar de hablar con ella él mismo. Para abreviar la historia, eligió el aborto. Por mucho que odié a Miguel en ese momento, todavía amo a ese idiota. Sentí pena por esa mujer que pensó que a Miguel le importaría lo suficiente como para hablar con ella. Miguel apenas se preocupa por nuestros hijos, por eso tenemos una niñera. Le rompió el corazón y el mío al mismo tiempo. Qué hombre. (I gave her two options. The first was to abort the baby and receive money as compensation for the trauma of losing a baby. The second was to have the baby and get enough money to leave Guadalajara. I don’t give a fuck what happened with the baby or her, it took everything to not kill Miguel when he told me what happened. He embarrassed me when he made me talk to her instead of talking to her himself. To make a long story short, she chose the abortion. Although in that moment I hated Miguel, I still love that idiot. I felt terrible for the woman who thought Miguel cared enough to talk to her. Miguel barely cares about our children’s, that’s why we have you. He broke her heart and mine at the same time. What a guy.)”

The two of you laid silent, you looked at her and she up at the ceiling. You noticed a stray tear falling from her eye and you were quick to wipe it away.

“Lo peor de todo es que yo también la odiaba. No porque se acostó con él, sino porque quedó embarazada. ¿Por qué todas las putas quedan embarazadas? Solo pude tener dos hijos, quería uno o dos más. ¿es mucho para preguntar? Dolía sugerir el aborto, pero no soportaba que otra mujer tuviera a su hijo bastardo como recordatorio de su infedilidad. (The worst of all is that I hated her too. I didn’t hate her because she slept with him, but because she got pregnant. Why do all the whores get pregnant? I only had two, I wanted one or two more. That’s all. Is that too much to ask for? It hurt to suggest the abortion but I couldn’t stand another woman having his bastard child. That child would always be a reminder to me if his infidelity)” Maria’s eyes closed to stop the tears and even through non sexual ways, you learned more about Maria.

She was broken. As were you. She was just better at hiding it. You didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, you didn’t think you could cheer her up from admitting to forcing a woman getting an abortion. She needed to get this off her chest.

In your mind, you thought Maria was cruel for giving that woman an ultimatum. Maria may have said she had given the woman two options but it was obvious which one the young woman would take. Even if she was carrying the bastard child of Miguel, that baby deserved a chance to live. The baby did nothing wrong but be conceived. It wasn’t like Maria couldn’t have adopted it, she wanted more children. Maybe this child was the chance for her to have the third child she’s always wanted. What was the difference if the baby came from a different woman? Maria was going to be the mom all the same.

“Ahora sabes más sobre el tipo de hombre que es Félix. Es un lobo a la vista, obtiene lo que quiere. Siempre. Eres joven, amable, pero un poco ingenua, te comerá y te dejará sin nada. Te romperá el alma como si nada. Solo te lastimarás en el proceso. (Now you know what kind of man Felix is. He’s a wolf in plain sight, he gets what he wants. Always. You’re young, loving, but a bit naive. He will eat you up and leave you with nothing. He will break your soul like it was nothing. You’ll just hurt yourself in the process)” Maria stroked your hair, leaving a small kiss on your forehead as she shifted towards you.

You turned to her, cupping her face gently. You felt like you hadn’t been looking at her in the eyes enough so you made sure this time to make a point, “Te amo Maria y si lo que dices es cierto sobre Felix, no lo aceptaré. Solo quiero estar contigo, sea lo que sea que eso signifique. No quiero irme, quiero quedarme aquí y cuidar de los niños. Me preocupo por ellos. (I love you Maria and if what you say about Felix is true, I won’t accept him. I just want to be with you, whatever that entails. I don’t want to go, I want to stay here and take care of the kids. I care for them.)”

“Sé que has estado hablando de el amor todo este tiempo, pero ¿sabes siquiera qué es el amor en realidad? Sé que no has estado con nadie, eres apenas una adulta. ¿cómo sabes de lo que estás hablando? Puedes pensar que me amas, puedes pensar que amas a los niños, incluso puedes pensar que puedes cambiar a Miguel. (I know you’ve been talking about love this whole time but do you even know what real love is? I know you haven’t been with anyone, you’re barely an adult. How do you know what you’re talking about? You can think you love me, the kids, you may even think about being able to change Miguel)” she ran a finger over your bottom lip, smiling softly at how you slightly trembled from the sensation, “No sé si te estoy contando todas las cosas malas que tiene Félix para protegerte o para ser egoísta. No me gusta compartir. Eres tan preciosa que no merece ni siquiera tocar un solo cabello tuyo. Está mal querer tanto a alguien. Pero se siente tan bien. Finalmente entiendo a Félix y por qué se coje a mujeres que no son su esposa. (I don’t know if I’m telling you about Felix to project you or to be selfish. I don’t like to share. You’re just so precious that he doesn’t deserve to even touch a single hair on your head. I finally understand why Felix fucks other women who aren’t his wife.)”

You saw the passion in Maria’s eyes and that let you know that she meant what she was saying. She had reason to believe that maybe you weren’t really in love and that it was just lust. You didn’t want to believe it but with every passing moment, you couldn’t help but fall more deep than before. At first you felt terrible at the idea of betraying her marriage and being the home wrecker but how could you wreck a home that was already on its way to be demolished? Maria just wanted to be loved and you planned on doing just that.

You felt that it was the right time to lean in for another passionate kiss when you heard Miguelito pound on your door.

“¿Bebita, estas en tu cuarto? Necesito ayuda con mi tarea, por favor. Te prometo que no voy a dar lata. (*Nickname*, are you in there? I need help with my homework please. I promise I won’t be difficult.)” He whined, continuing to knock softly in the hopes that gig will respond back.

You smiled softly, instantly getting off the bed and freshening up. You had a job to do and you were momentarily sidetracked. “Si estoy aquí. Estaré allí en un momento. Espero que te mantengas fiel a tu promesa, cariño. (I am in here. I will be there in a second. I hope you can keep your promise, sweetheart)”

As you gave an apologetic glance to Maria, you quickly made yourself presentable and happily helped Miguelito with his homework. Anything to get your mind off of everything that had happened before he interrupted.

You were walking out when you saw Felix in the hallway, walking towards you. You tried your best to seem nonchalant in the hopes he would not stop you but right when you walked next to him, his hand gripped your arm tightly to get you to stop in your tracks.

“¿Sabes dónde está mi esposa? (Do you know where my wife is?”

And that’s it folks. For now. 😋 This series will be dialogue heavy so I apologize in advance. Thank you so much for reading!

#miguel angel felix gallardo #maria elvira #maria elvira de felix #narcos mexico imagine #narcos fanfic

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jisatsu-tai · 3 years

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#3 for your whole squad 👀👀👀 - @xynchronicity 3. How does their social personality differ from how they act when they’re alone? the whole squad WHICH I DESERVE

Abril: She is incredibly extroverted in person and speaks to herself when she’s alone. Sometimes doesn’t know how to be quite. [ “It’ll be fun they said, fly to Rialto they said” ]

Akande: Incredibly intimidating and professional among watching eyes. You have to be in this business everyone is looking to cut their strings [ or get thrown over a waterfall ] so it isn’t good to let his guard down. On his own time he’s rather somber. A man that likes to read and sit by the fire for some peace.

Angela: She is incredibly professional and rigid with nearly everyone having been in the medical field in most of her developmental years she’s got some emotional dissonance and struggles maintaining and keeping relationships. Which ironically is no different than she is on her own. Which is the MAIN problem.

Widowmaker: Widow is almost a ghost of Amélie when she’s alone. She talks to herself in French, like she’s speaking to an entirely different part of her psyche sometimes. She says and does things she cannot explain, which are muscle memories from her past life. She is mostly silent and resolved when among others. Doesn’t speak unless spoken to.

Delilah: All my muses are so professional, they have an image to protect. Delilah is no different, she is trying to bridge the gap between humans and omics. Though it’s not going so well. Despite her peppy attitude, in her solitude she feels incredibly alone and sometimes seems to droop and sag when she’s on her own.

Delaware: Barz is the grumpiest old man to ever exist. He speaks his mind when around others. He doesn’t hesitate to give Ashe a piece of his mind because he’s been around long enough he feels comfortable doing that. You’ll often hear him grumbling like the old cod he is when he’s on his own.

Genji: Genji has a lot of self loathing he still struggles with on his day to day for the hand he played in his own fate and how he pushed Hanzo. But does his best to be upbeat and cheerful around others so that he doesn’t worry them. He’s may have recovered from his rage but it still exists. Don’t be fooled, Genji finds ways to take out that bottled up rage in a healthier manner than lashing out at others like he used to but normally does that on his own.

Jack: Angry. He’s so angry all the time, he lashes out so easily at others now even the people he was close to or loved. He has these large stone walls that incircle him. But on his own he just sits in silence reflecting on all the mistakes he made. Trying to figure out how he got here and how he can put an end to it.

Hana: Hana’s entire life is on the grand stage and people thing she’s this KAWAII DESU sort of gamer girl, but D.Va is a persona that she puts on to keep her people at peace about the dangers beyond. On her own, she’s far more serious, a hero complex in the making. Spending 90 percent of her time perfecting combat and the MEKA. She’d rather be prepared than famous.

Hanzo: Hanzo has a very bull headed resistant attitude to anyone that approaches him. But in his private time he refuses to look in the mirror, really against his own reflection because if he stares at it for too long he’ll realize he is the monster everyone says he is.

Soyon: Soyon does not express emotion in similar ways as people, she often has a fox like curiosity when around people, often shaped by the people she spends time with. She only turns feral around the Shimada’s, but she is one of their protectors. Soyon is a woman of very few words both in her own time and among others. She is a bit more sly when on her own though, sometimes smiling for no reason.

Moira: She’s a huge nerd, which is masked by her disdain for humanity and dislike for nearly everyone she works with. Her eye rolls are hard to take seriously when you know she’s rocking out to anime openings and j-pop, to which she knows all the words to and definitely sings to herself when she things no one is around.

BONUS: Echo: Echo is curious, constantly asking questions when she’s around people, often repeating things over and over - not necessarily because she didn’t hear you but becasue she’s saving those words in her data bank. On her own she often practices her impressions where they don’t freak anyone out.

#ooc // did I even answer the question? probably not but I am RAMMBLING #abril // laughing at the sight of it #doomfist // I am not your savior #angela // still falling from heaven hurt pretty bad #widowmaker // there is a tragedy built with her bones #delilah // she thought she could bridge the gap #delaware // get along little doggy #genji // clipped gilded wings for a bird so pretty #76 // you wish for death but he keeps you alive #hana // i say thank you very much #hanzo // the dragon that split in two #soyon // the kitsune guides you #moira // idle hands are a devil's workshop #echo // she see she do she'll grow up just like you

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selfunaware · 3 years

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A while back, I saw a discussion about how we shouldn't be making STEM students spend time on humanities, specifically philosophy and ethics. However, without a strong culture of what *should* exist (technologically speaking) you get stuff like this:

Attorneys required to use the new face-scanning software while working from home said they understood the need for security because reviewing sensitive documents is part of the job. But many felt the remote-work surveillance had gone too far. The facial recognition systems, they said, felt intrusive, dysfunctional or annoying, booting them out of their work software if they shifted in their seat, rested their eyes, adjusted their glasses, wore a headband or necklace, went to the bathroom or had a child walk through their room.

When people starting tattleware companies can hire developers that are willing to develop tattleware, it shows a lack of ethical culture among developers in general.

There will always be companies that hire people willing to create good software that does bad things, but those should be far and few between; not a tight battleground.

This is why we teach math majors philosophy and ethics and history.

The article was paywalled so I uhhh contacted jeff bezos and purchased a perpetual license to publish it on my blog below the cut. Or whatever.

Keystroke tracking, screenshots, and facial recognition: The boss may be watching long after the pandemic ends

Danielle Abril, Drew Harwell

For Krutchik, the laptop’s unblinking little camera light quickly became a nightmare — and a reminder of what her new work day might look like even after the pandemic fades. After two weeks, she ended her contract and pledged never to consent to that kind of monitoring again.

“It’s just this constant, unnecessary, nerve-racking stress: You’re trying to concentrate and in the back of your mind you know you’re on camera the entire time,” she said. “While you’re reviewing a document, you don’t know who is reviewing you.”

The spread of the delta variant has kept many of America’s office employees working from home and fueled a rise in surveillance technologies by employers — in finance, law, technology and other industries — eager to keep tabs on their remote workforce. The facial recognition monitoring Krutchik experienced offers one of the stranger examples of America’s massive work-from-home experiment, because it relies on a glitchy and, to some, quite creepy camera system built to ensure workers don’t lose focus or break the rules.

The adoption of the technology coincides with an increase in companies’ use of more traditional monitoring software, which can track an employee’s computer keystrokes, take screenshots and in some cases record audio or video while they are working from home. Sometimes, this is done without their knowledge, which means companies have the potential to gain access to employees’ private details like banking or health information.

Workers have little power to control how and when they’re being monitored, especially if they are using work-issued devices. Experts advise workers to assume they are being monitored if they’re in the office or using company equipment, and recommend they read the fine print when in comes to employee contracts.

Market research firm Gartner says companies used more surveillance tools during the coronavirus pandemic to keep tabs on employees and monitor work productivity. The number of large employers using tools to track their workers doubled since the beginning of the pandemic to 60 percent. That number is expected to rise to 70 percent within the next three years, said Brian Kropp, chief of human resources research at Gartner.

And the software is expected to become even more sophisticated, telling employers how to turn the data they collect into actionable measures to drive the business. Soon it might do things like tell managers how employees work together via Zoom, understand who the main contributors are and how specific patterns may lead to specific results.

“That’s going to be the evolution of the monitoring,” Kropp said.

Companies say the tracking offers a critical way to ensure their employees are staying productive and telling the truth about how much they work when their bosses are many miles away. Some employers have voiced concerns that, without the monitoring, their workers might cut corners or pursue multiple jobs simultaneously, depriving them of the focus and labor they need to stay competitive in the remote-work era.

Brad Edward, CEO of Spekless Cleaning in Arlington, VA, said he has been using monitoring software from Hubstaff at his company for about five years. The reason? He needs a reliable time tracking system for his local and remote office workers who help with operations.

But Spekless is not interested in checking on exactly what employees are doing throughout the day because Edward believes privacy is an important part of the employer-employee relationship.

“Ultimately as an employer your goal is to foster a culture of collaboration and mutual trust,” he said. “These tools can either work with you or against you, depending on how you use them.”

Still, many workers say they are increasingly worried about the level of surveillance.

David, who spoke on the condition that his last name remain anonymous, was working as a customer service agent for a financial tech company in Utah when the pandemic started, and he was sent to work from home. Last fall, after his company switched the software it asked employees to use on their work-issued computers, he was randomly clicking around the system trying to figure out how to get where he needed to be. Suddenly, his boss started speaking to him through his headset, instructing him on how to log in. David said he couldn’t recall exactly what software the company used, but he was surprised to find that his boss could see what he was doing, a seemingly new capability at the company.

“I was upstairs with my boys, and I get a text from my husband (David) that said, ‘If you come down here, don’t say anything and let me know because we’re being listened to,’” said David’s wife, Rebekah.

When David brought the issue up at a company meeting, he found out the company could listen to his audio at any time, not just during calls that are often monitored for quality purposes. But now David was at home with his wife and children. The situation had changed, but the monitoring had not adapted to the privacy he expected while working from home.

“[I felt] paralyzed,” David said. “Like I couldn’t say anything without potential repercussions.”

Within a month of the discovery, David quit his job.

Ashley, who spoke on the condition of being identified only by her first name to avoid employment repercussions, said the banking start-up she was working for in New York implemented surveillance software about 10 days after the company sent employees to work from home last year. The company asked them to download Hubstaff, a software program that tracks productivity in part by recording keystrokes and taking screenshots, on their personal computers. The request was out of the question for Ashley, who was furloughed for refusing to download the software before getting a new job altogether.

“I have so much information on my computer: my banking information, my passwords, my email that has stuff from my doctors,” she said. “I just wouldn’t want my employers to have access to this.”

While she tried to take up the issue with human resources, she saw a change in how her colleagues worked. The company expected employees to have an 85 percent or higher “activity level,” which is calculated based on keystrokes and mouse movement. Anyone who didn’t meet expectations was docked pay. To avoid that, Ashley said her co-workers began sending each other more messages to meet their keystrokes rather than lose time thinking through a complex problem.

“People just stopped caring [about the job],” she said.

The tension between employees and employers around the level of monitoring comes down to trust and transparency, experts say. If employees aren’t given the full details of when and how they’re monitored and if they don’t feel trusted at work, they’re more likely to refuse monitoring of any kind regardless of the purpose.

“Employers have to be upfront and honest about the extent of the monitoring,” said John Verdi, vice president of policy at data privacy-focused think tank Future of Privacy Forum, which is funded by Big Tech companies including Facebook and Google. “And employees have to be upfront and honest about what they view is their obligation in their jobs.”

Even more problematically, some facial recognition systems have been shown in research to perform worse with people of color because the algorithms are less accurate at identifying people with darker skin tones. That leaves many attorneys fearful that they could be penalized due to the color of their skin. Three attorneys, all of whom are Black, said they’d routinely struggled to be recognized by the face-scanning systems in a way that their lighter-skinned colleagues did not.

Several couldn’t help but note the irony that their careers in consumer privacy and employment law had led them to a role they felt pushed the boundaries on both.

“The true currency an attorney has is trust … and the technology they’re using to monitor what attorneys are doing puts that trust into question,” said Gerald Edwards, a New York City attorney practicing since 1994. “Are you even trusting me at all, that you have to watch me and monitor me like a 4-year-old?”

Experts say monitoring often doesn’t accomplish management’s goals unless leaders set clear-cut, realistic objectives customized to each team and its needs. But the pandemic triggered panic among many companies that suddenly had to allow their employees to work from home for the first time.

“It seems like a lot of people confused monitoring with management,” said Alison Green, work advice columnist who runs the Ask a Manager website and received numerous complaints about employee surveillance during the pandemic. “You don’t always need this level of micromanaging.”

Laszlo Bock, CEO and co-founder of human resource software service Humu and former Google executive, said the pandemic created a sudden instinct in leaders to increase the level of control as workers went remote.

“The paradox is every manager is also an employee, and they have a manager,” he said. “If you ask [managers] what they want from their manager, it’s to stay out of their way.”

Legally, employers usually have the upper hand when it comes to monitoring, said Marta Manus, an attorney at San Diego-based Marble Law Firm. Often, employees are unaware that the policies they sign upon their hiring include terms that cover work surveillance such as monitoring through laptop cameras or computer software. Manus said employees should be wary and ask for specifics about any monitoring policy as well as who will have access to that data. But if workers hope to sue their employers for invasion of privacy, they have the burden to prove damages.

“If it’s a company device, you have zero expectation of privacy,” she said. “If it’s a personal device, as long as there are clear policies in place in favor of monitoring for work purposes, the law is going to permit it.”

Employee monitoring software provider Teramind says its number of customers has increased by three to four times during the pandemic. And many small and midsize employers who were on the fence about purchasing the software at the beginning of the pandemic are now making the purchase as they move to permanent remote work options.

Teramind has two versions of monitoring software, one in which employees know they’re being monitored and can switch on or off, and one where employers have control of the monitoring. Eli Sutton, Teramind’s vice president of operations, said the company advises its clients to tell their employees that they’re using the software as well as explain the productivity goals. The knowledge alone on average translates into a 30 percent spike in productivity versus secretly monitoring employees, Sutton said. The reason is because employees know what specific goals they have to reach and that they’re being monitored for those goals, he said.

Hubstaff said it logged a record month in March 2020, and since the beginning of the pandemic, customers have increased by 40 percent. Currently, more than 70,000 companies and organizations use Hubstaff. But Hubstaff said most employers want their employees to understand how the software works and know what’s being tracked.

As for Krutchik, the 34-year attorney, the feeling of distrust stayed with her. Though she has committed to never taking a job that would require her to use facial recognition software again, she worries that her options could be limited as companies’ high expectations for employee monitoring become more mainstream.

“The company thinks it’s an added layer of protection of them, but for the employee it’s just an added layer of stress,” she said. “You’re on your guard all day, feeling like your privacy is invaded, and still, it’s like: They don’t trust you.”

#math #stem #covid #cusses in my brain

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sociopath-analysis · 4 years

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Sociopath Profile: Leslie Meyers

From the animated television show South Park (1997-present[valid as of late July 2020]) Voiced by Abril Stewart First appearance: “The Cissy” S18E03 First speaking appearance: “Sponsered Content” S19E08

[SPOILERS BELOW]

In contrast to Cartman’s low-functioning sociopathy, Leslie operates on the high-functioning end. And she serves as the main antagonist of Season 19. Fun fact: she was actually based on another example: Ava from Ex Machina.

As a sentient advertisement, having superficial charm is almost a definite requirement for her. She needs to be able to sell herself and look good for the other ads’ plans. She can act like an innocent little girl and no one will be the wiser since she looks just like one. This even works on the audience. Before the reveal of her significance, she was only regarded as a running gag character.

She uses this as a consummate liar and manipulator to push PC culture into make living there more expensive, forcing people to move out of South Park, so the ads could take over the town. The process was to be repeated in other towns until they wiped out the human race, leaving only the advertisements.

Leslie clearly has no empathy for other intelligent beings since she is willing to kill the entire human race just for advertisements. More so, she shows no empathy for the people she brutalizes. She never raises her voice even as she’s beating the ever-loving crap out of Jimmy. You could say this is due to her not actually being human, but even real serial killers start on animals first. And she’s indistinguishable from a human in appearance and behavior.

Her subtlety is something that makes her even more dangerous than Cartman. While he’s obviously a maniac and dangerous on her own, Leslie’s form of villainy is more insidious. And with a clear end-goal in mind rather than just a fleeting scheme of the moment, she can see that goal through to the end. If not for PC Principal punching her through the face, she definitely would have.

South Park Sociopath List

Female Sociopath List

#Leslie Meyers #South Park #major spoiler #character analysis #profile

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valpogossip · 3 months

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VALPOGOSSIP TEACAP: MARCH 2024

You lot sure have be busy the last month. If I was of lesser mind or simply someone with something better to do, I would have resigned myself to my silence and let you all carry on. But business pays. And unfortunately for you, it's yours that pays me, and you're all not going to believe this.

In unsurprising news, Milani Lennox and Alba Ochoa are still playing the most long running game of tag I've ever seen. But a new player has entered the villa, miss Mallory Jade Watson who thinks Al should just leave Milani to freeze and keep the door to themselves. A wildcard who doesn't mind stirring up a little chaos, I'm excited to see where it leads. Milani and Al haven't spoken in awhile... maybe Mallory really was the perfect solution.

Speaking of people who should probably call it quits but it's much more entertaining if they don't: Leon Amos and Salem West hook up after a squabble at a party where it's rumored that Leon may have also met one Charity Tavarez and regrets not giving out his number? Can anyone confirm that for us? Either way, we're sure Salem would be delighted to hear about it.

Not so much a couple news, but a something ( the debate on booty call or situationship is still happening ) is brewing between Dante Dominguez-Herrera and Omar Osei. With the conversations back and forth between them it's hard to believe they got to the point where numbers were exchanged, but I suppose everyone loves a good guilty pleasure hate hookup.

Have you all ever noticed that we have so many couples who aren't couples? Let's talk about Charlie Hastings and Aviva Roux. No, I'm sorry. Charlie Hastings and Iris Monroe. No, god, I'm sorry. Charlie Hastings and Elisa Maribal? Ugh, my head hurts ! Officially, unofficially Charlie has been ' seeing ' Iris while romancing Aviva? While having a past with Elisa? Now this is how you move in silence, he could teach Enzo a thing or two.

Here's something bittersweet for you: Aivryn Lee Johnston is down inexplicably bad for Orion Singh and Abril Valdivia may just be just as down inexplicably bad for Aivryn ): and Luna ): and possibly Mallory ): the closet is made of glass at this point. But we support you Abril! Be who you are, for your pride.

Drew Crane seems to be battling with something even spookier than the state of his refrigerator: an EX... something Luna Domginuez-Herrera never told him about. The introduction of one Enzo Pernas ( my new favorite ). He may not know much about most things, but he knows how to play mind games. One mention of Luna's government name had Drew consulting a variety of councils left and right. Never did quite get an answer that was good though..

While I'll give Enzo credit where credit is due, it seems he didn't have the patience for the long game. Constantly trying to communicate with this ex... something through spotify, twitter, and telepathy for all we know ( much to Victor Alvarado's dismay ). And when none of those worked, he turned directly to texting. A drunken 'I miss you' that went ignored. Instead Luna responded with a very pressing question.

I don't know about you, but responding to an 'I miss you text' to ask about Aliya Bahri, is wild isn't ? But don't worry, it wasn't jealousy, it was pure, unadulterated nosiness ( a trait we respect around her ). See her sister, Esme Dominguez-Herrera, appears to have something of a thing for Aliya. Or maybe it's another story Luna made up ( they tend to do that a lot, don't they ). So Luna wanted to know if there was anything between Enzo and Aliya, and well. Aliya didn't like that Luna asked if she had a crush on anyone. Dramatic? Sure. Entertaining? ABSOLUTELY. And since Aliya didn't like it, Enzo didn't like it, and Esme didn't like it.

It was a hard month for Luna, because that's not even the only text squabble she got into. Another blast from the past ( is it hard for you all to keep up ? it's hard for Esme ), Bryce Archer, approached her to congratulate them on their new single release... to which they started an argument over something only the two of them seem to know. Don't be shy, share with the rest of the class!

We shouldn't just point and laugh at Luna, it's been a hard month for Esme too ! Between the scandal of her two boyfriends ( potentially a third with how many of you have a close eye on her and Victor, nosy nosy ), she decided to apologize to Arlo Hwang and that went TERRIBLY. He left her on read. Left on read by a streamer? I'd never show my face again. She's so brave. Still, even though he didn't answer it. It seems Arlo is battling with some unresolved feelings of his own. Must not be battling that hard though considering how down bad he is for Leia Munoz Silva on main. But I guess we'll just wait and see.

We hope that's enough to hold you over until next month. And if I missed anything, don't hesitate to send in a little tip to us via our anon box.

Here's some things we're keeping a close eye on for next month:

What's going on between Oliver Alaya and Max Esquivel-Isidora ? Besties ? Or roommates ? What's going on between Parker Ford and Sariyah Carter? Does Esme have competition? Speaking of Sariyah, what happened with her and Jia Gramaglia ? Leon and Charity are speaking again, and we can't wait to see where that leads. We know Leon knows where the nearest bedrooms are at all times. Can Omar and Rafael Cisneros keep their jobs?

And to Adem, Askel, Birdie, Chaisai, Daria, Jamie, Jules, Kaia, Liberty, Matty, Minnie, Nasrin, Nikhil, Rania, and Solana; we're always watching and waiting.

#valpoteacap

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chiisanakurisu · 4 years

Text

April Showers

This is a small story I wrote for @allaloneintheend2020 and @fatandnerdy30‘s server monthly contest. Featuring my self insert character Cris and my OC Sophie the borrower. I hope you enjoy it!

CW: Angst, I guess

“En abril, aguas mil” Cris muttered, staring at the sight of the dampened backyard from her spot at the kitchen table. It had been pouring the whole last night, and the sound of the rain had been so loud it had even frightened the poor Sophie. This morning, though, the sun was beautifully shining and the sky was clear.

“What does that mean?” a tiny voice questioned from behind the coffee mug. The borrower girl was staring up at Cris, the gleam of curiosity in her brown eyes.

“Oh, sorry…I was spacing out” Cris lowered her gaze at Sophie. “It’s a proverb from where I used to live. Literally, it would be, um…’there are a thousand waters in April’…I guess. Basically it means it’s usually rainy this time of the year.” The young woman finished her explanation, chuckling softly.

“That makes no sense!”

“Um?”

“It makes no sense, gramatically speaking” Sophie protested, her diminutive form standing straight, “The word ‘water’ is uncountable. You can’t say ‘thousand waters’. You taught me that.” The tiny girl stated proudly. Cris giggled in response, causing the small child to frown.

“Yeah, you’re right, Sophie” Cris said, her tone of voice still showing amusement “It’s just I don’t know why the proverb is like that…I guess people don’t care too much about grammar.”

A sudden sneeze from Cris interrupted their conversation, causing Sophie to yelp. "Sorry!" She said, feeling a bit guilty of how her actions could still frighten the tiny girl. "With the rain, and this… blasted carpeted floor" she restrained herself from swearing in front of the kid, "this allergy of mine… I'm sorry Sophie, but I'm gonna have to use the vacuum" The woman said, glancing at the girl with sad eyes.

"Noo! Please Cris, not the vacuum! It's so big and loud and scary…" Sophie was gazing up at her, a terrified look in her big brown eyes.

The young woman sighed. She knew how much the kid hated that machine, and, honestly, she wasn't surprised at all. At that size of hers…

"Let's do this, then. I'll start with the higher floor and you can stay in the living room meanwhile. When I'm done, I'll go downstairs and carry you to my room, so I can clean this floor without scaring you at all. Deal?" She glanced at the child, wearing an apologetic smile.

The tiny girl just gave a resigned nod in response.

—

Sophie wandered around the gigantic living room, feeling both bored and a bit guilty. Since she had met Cris, things had changed a lot for the young girl. She had safety, all the food she could wish for and a warm place to sleep. Basically, it was all a borrower could wish for.

But still, Sophie felt like she was a burden to Cris. She had done so much for her, and even though the human lady had made clear she was more than happy just with her being her "roomie" -that was the word she had used-, the young borrower couldn't help but feel useless. The human couldn't even do her house chores properly just because she was scared of a stupid machine.

While wandering and with those thoughts in mind, Sophie noticed the sliding door to the backyard was slightly open. Maybe Cris had left it like that to air the room. The young girl had a sudden idea. If she went out into the backyard -something she had done several times before and she loved-, she wouldn't be bothered by the sounds from the vacuum in the living room. And that way Cris wouldn't need to carry her upstairs!

Congratulating herself for her idea, Sophie went through the small space left by the sliding door and leapt into the backyard. The grass was knee high for her, and there were already a few flowers signaling spring had come. Sophie just wandered around, marveling at the nature surrounding her. What she didn't notice were the dark clouds already forming in the sky horizon.

—

Cris was done with her room and had started with the guest room, a silly tune playing in her lips. She had been postponed this task for too long, and her allergies, if not serious, had become way too annoying for her. Why did people in this country have to set carpeted floors? Back at home she had wooden floors and they were cozy and a lot easier to clean. And this poor thing was terrified of loud noises…well, she wasn't exactly fond of them herself, to be honest. Cris let out a soft sight. She was almost done with this.

A thunder roared not far away, causing the young woman to look up through the skylight and see the storm forming. "Ugh, Sophie's not gonna like this" she muttered to herself.

—

Sophie yelped as she heard the thunder above her. Was it going to rain again? But it was so sunny and clear just a while ago!

The young girl started her way back into the house, but it was too late. A huge rain drop hit her back, causing the kid to shriek in both fear and pain. She went on, rain both pounding and soaking her tiny figure. After a painful while, she finally reached the step that led back into the house, a step she knew she could easily get through just by jumping.

This time, though, she wasn't able to do so. The floor tiles were wet and slippery and her tiny hands couldn't get a good hold. After a few frustrated attempts, the girl was simply too exhausted to keep on trying. Sophie yelled out Cris' name, even though she knew it was no use. She finally decided to cover as much as she could, positioning herself in a corner right under the step and curling up into a ball. Trembling, the tiny child let out a sob in fear.

—

"Sophie, I'm done, let's go upstairs!" She called cheerfully as she entered the living room.

The lack of response was the first sign of something being off. The second one, the heavy rain flooding into the living room through the slightly open door to the backyard.

"Sophie? Come on, I want to finish this as soon as possible! "

Still no response.

Cris glanced around frantically, worry growing inside her. At this point, Sophie always answered whenever she called for her. Something was not fine. The young woman headed to the sliding door to close it- the carpeted floor was soaked enough.

"C-cris…"

The voice was faint and barely audible, but Cris heard it.

"Sophie! Where are you?"

Had she gotten into the backyard?? Cris was about to rush and go search for her, but stopped herself just in time. I can't do that, I could step on her accidentally. You know she's here, Cris. Just…look carefully.

She took small steps outside, scanning the floor beneath her and the grass, searching for the familiar red-haired head. But she couldn't find her.

"Sophie?? " Cris called again, almost crying.

"D-down h-here… " The girl's voice sounded closer, but it still was very faint. Cris walked down the step, carefully scanning the ground. And then, she saw her. Curled up, her clothes drenched and trembling from the cold. Cris kneeled down and scooped up the tiny child into her hands. Keeping her close to her body, she rushed back into the house and closed the sliding door before making her way upstairs as quickly as she could. Her own clothes were getting wet from the tiny figure she held against her chest- she didn't care.

—

Warmth.

A dry towel around her frame.

Cris' voice speaking in a desperate, yet low voice.

"Sophie, can you hear me?"

The girl's eyes fluttered open, her first sight being Cris' face above her, tears in her eyes.

"Cris… " She answered weakly.

"You need to change your clothes. Can you do it on your own? "

Sophie nodded. Cris had set some dry clothes next to her- although she still felt weak, she managed. "I'm…I'm done" She announced, bracing herself for the scolding she was sure was coming. Her mom used to do so, at least.

"Do you feel better now?"

Sophie nodded.

"What were you doing outside? I told you to stay in the living room! Can't you see how dangerous this weather is for you? If…if I had come later…you..." The woman's voice cracked. She sounded more distressed than angry, though.

Sophie couldn't take it anymore and broke down crying, both from the fright and the guilt she felt. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she whimpered. "I…I felt bad about you having to carry me upstairs because the vacuum scares me, a-and I thought that maybe, i-if I went into the backyard, I wouldn't be able to hear it and you could finish your task without me bothering you…a-and…" The girl couldn't continue as she kept crying bitterly.

Sophie felt herself being scooped up and held against the human woman's chest. She glanced up, shocked to find her human friend bursting into tears as well.

"How can you say that?" The woman whimpered, caressing the borrower's wet hair with her thumb. "How many times I have told you you aren't a bother at all? You're the best thing I could have right now...I have you, instead of having to live alone...far from my family..." Cris gently kissed the child's forehead, still sniffing.

Sophie's eyes tears filled with tears, this time touched by the human's words. "You…you're also the best thing I could have right now, Cris…" She muttered quietly, snuggling into the gigantic woman.

Cris was able to hear her words.

—

The following morning, the pair were sitting again at the kitchen table, observing the backyard through the window. Sophie was comfortably sitting by Cris' coffee mug, enjoying the warmth from it.

"You know, Sophie…" Cris started "I checked the forecast and it seems like it's gonna be sunny these days. Do you want to go out, to the backyard?"

Sophie bit her lower lip, the experience from the evening before in her mind. But Cris didn't want the child to develop fear to going out. Not when she knew Sophie loved to be outside. "Not rain at all, I promise. And I'll be wearing my blue hoodie." The woman winked at the girl.

Sophie gave Cris a weak, yet hopeful smile.

An hour later, Cris was stepping outside, with Sophie comfortably set inside the chest-leveled hood gap the girl loved so much. Sophie peeked out, marveling at the clear sky and how beautiful the plants and the grass looked. "I saw some plants already blossomimg yesterday." The girl said, clearly proud of it. Cris giggled in response. "Oh! That reminds me of another proverb, I think this one is from here. "

"What is it?" Sophie asked, avid to learn more.

" 'April showers bring May flowers'. With the water and the sunlight, the plants are able to blossom." The woman explained, and Sophie's face lit up.

"And this one is gramatically correct!" The borrower girl said cheerfully.

Both of them bursted into laughter.

#gt #Gt fluff #borrowers

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talpup · 4 years

Text

Chaos: 39

Please remember, this fic is rated explicit and has warnings of violence, sex, questionable con, and non-con (though we’re thankfully done with that), and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20155333/chapters/54470014

I write for my own enjoyment, but edit and post for yours. If you enjoyed reading this at all please comment and let me know. It’s the only thing that encourages me to keep editing and posting.

Thank you to those who have left hearts. And a great big THANK YOU to those who have left comments or re-blogged. They really mean a lot.

As always, an extra special thank you to @inorganicone2230 for their encouragement and friendship, and help brainstorming.

39.1

Shouta stared at the empty space where his Love had stood. Reyanna had left him. Again.

Of course with the Tie he could follow, but his mind and heart were too broken to remember or think to do so.

Shouta fell to his knees.

“Shou...” Hizashi took a step, hand tentatively reached out.

“Well it’s about damn time.” Hawks’ voice said.

Hizashi spun around. He had been too focused on the heart wrenching spectacle between Shouta and Reyanna that he hadn’t sensed the Archangel’s arrival.

“That your Restraint is lifted.” Hizashi commented.

Now that he wasn’t solely focused on one thing, he sensed Hawks’ unbridled power.

Dimly, Hizashi realized that Todoroki had been successful. The second step to closing one of the gates had been completed. But he was caught up in too many emotions to be fully happy about that.

Reyanna had died to help see this second step successfully done. And where had Hawks been? Nowhere in sight that was for sure. Granted she was alive now. But the cost had been her and Shouta's bond. Speaking of Shouta...

Hizashi glanced back at his friend. The pointlessness of their conversation the night before struck him as cruel and laughable.

To think that just a couple hours ago he had entered heaven’s vaults to get the needed ingredients for a temporarily block that would stop Reyanna from remembering anymore of her past.

Shouta stared at his left thumb. Gone was the Vim ring that had infused his body and being with the warmth of Reyanna’s life force. Everything, including him, seemed colder and dimmer. And why shouldn’t it? The light of his life had left him.

The words of the Janus he had killed echoed in his mind: “Wait! You’re gonna need me. Want me. Remember! I don’t just alter paths. I can see them.”

Was this what the Janus had been referring to? What other path could he have taken that would have spared him from this fate?

Maybe if he had listened to Hizashi and told Reyanna the truth of his betrayal before she remembered it. But that just would have had her leaving him a few hours sooner. Maybe if he had shown up sooner he could’ve found a way to save her life without their Bond being broken. But wouldn’t she still have remembered? Wouldn’t he still be in this same position? Alone. Without her.

The only up side he could see from either of those two paths was that their Bond would have remained intact. But that in itself would have been reason enough to have let the Janus live. Their bond was a symbol and warning of their love for one another.

After she had left him the first time, it was their bond that had given him solace. And now it was gone. His last remaining thing of hope and comfort broken.

“If you kill me, you’ll look back on it as the greatest mistake you’ve ever made!”

Shouta squeezed his eyes shut, wishing the Janus’ words away. Wishing that he hadn’t given into his anger and need for revenge, but had accepted the Third’s offer of service.

Eyes on the kneeling Daimon, Hawks walked passed Hizashi.

The Archangel couldn’t have kept the mirth from his voice if he had tried. “It’s about damn time you got what you deserved, Aizawa. Got what you deserved again that is.”

“Hawks.”

Having arrived at the very end of the fight between Aizawa and Reyanna, Todoroki had no clue what it had been about. But it was clear that Hawks was kicking the Daimon while he was down.

Hawks ignored Todoroki’s word of admonishment. “Guess I won’t be having to tell her the truth of your misdeeds after all. Eh, Aizawa. Disappointing as that is, I think I like it better this way. I onl wish that I had been here to see the whole thing play out. Tell me. Did you try to explain that you had done it all for her?”

The small part of Shouta capable of awareness heard Hawks as if from a great distance. His mind silently whispered that he had. He had done it all for her.

“And how did that go down for you? Huh?” Hawks prodded.

“Enough.” Hizashi said, stepping after him.

“Let me guess. About as well as it had the first time.” Hawks replied. “You wanna know why that is? It’s because Reyanna finally realized what kind of person you truly were when you made that deal with Lucifer. Why do you think she beckoned me and ran from you?”

Hizashi scowled. Yes, Reyanna had beckoned Hawks and run. But Hawks made it sound like it had been something more than her just needing help hiding the Child of Hope.

Hawks sneered down at Shouta’s bowed back. “You know as well as I that what she did wiping her memories was dangerous. You drove her to that, Aizawa. You! Yet you still call what you did love? You don’t deserve her.”

“That’s enough.” Hizashi hissed.

“You could have all the chances in the world but it will always turn out the same. You proved that. You got a second chance and what did you do with it? Did you ever once consider trying to tell her the truth? Or was admitting you were wrong and asking forgiveness too much for your pride to take?”

It wasn’t pride that had kept Shouta silent and Hawks knew it.

Hizashi glared. The Archangel sounded more like a daimon with the way he was twisting things.

“Instead you did what you’re best at. You lied and deceived. You ordered Hizashi to add to my restraint--”

“I did that on my own! Shouta had nothing to do--

“You will always screw up and lose her. You don’t deserve her. You never did.”

Shouta nodded slightly. Hawks was right about that. He didn’t deserve her. But by some miracle Reyanna had wanted him anyway.

“You’re sick!” Hawks spat. “Nothing more than a jealous, controlling dick who doesn’t know the first thing about real love and care.”

“I said that’s enough!” Hizashi grabbed Hawks by the arm and tried to pull him back.

Hawks jerked free of the hold. “You claim to love her but you took her and broke her. You raped--”

Hawks’ wings barely managed to close around him in time.

If he had still been restrained the dense black tendrils would've shot straight through his feathers and severely wounded, if not killed him.

“I didn’t rape her.” Shouta growled.

The Daimon's posture changed. His back straightened, shoulders rolling.

Hawks had always wanted his Love. Even before Abril’s death, Shouta had caught the Archangel watching her. If anyone didn’t know what love was it was Hawks.

Reyanna was hunted. Wanted by heaven and hell. And he alone was willing to do whatever it took to shield and protect her.

Lucifer had had a piece of Reyanna’s life force. There had been no other way to see it free. But there Hawks stood, saying that what he had done to secure his Love’s well-being had been wrong,

Hawks would’ve been content to watch Reyanna suffer. That’s why it shouldn’t have surprised that he had taken her to heaven. A place that wanted her dead.

Hawks had taken his Love to heaven and seen her hurt. Dead. And because of that their bond was now broken.

Hawks knew nothing of love and sacrifice.

“The truth hit a nerve, Aizawa.” Hawks questioned, blade dropping into his hand.

Shouta spun around, launching himself at the Archangel.

Hawks hadn’t expected the move. He had expected Shouta to flint or lash out with his power. Shouta's blade sliced through several of his feathers before he was able to flint away.

“I didn’t rape her.” Shouta growled.

Dense black tendrils whipped around the Daimon ready to strike and defend.

Hawks grimaced at his lost feathers. Cut by a blade, it would take time for them to regrow.

Eyes on Shouta, the rest of Hawks’ feathers detached and hovered in the air. A part of him was happy, excited for this fight. A deeper part of him was wary. It had been ages since he had fought with his full power. There would be some obviously rust and Aizawa would be merciless.

Enji appeared.

Hizashi squeaked at the sight of the Second Chief, but it was too late to flint away.

“Son!” Enji called.

Hizashi’s face scrunched in confusion.

Todoroki exhaled in disgust. “Don’t call me that. You’re not my Dad.”

“Dad!” Hizashi squawked.

“You two!” Enji barked at Shouta and Hawks. “Stand down!”

Though it seemed like forever since either of them had taken an order from Enji, the Chiefs fierceness had both Shouta and Hawks lowering their blades.

Hizashi was too confused to care that the Second Chief might question why he was there instead of defending the gates. And there was no way Toshinori had sent Enji after him for helping Reyanna. He was too far down the ladder for that.

“What’s this?” Shouta asked, eyeing Enji warily.

“Todoroki’s like Anna.” Hawks said, his feathers attaching themselves.

“No one’s like Anna.” Shouta muttered, black tendrils dissipating.

Hawks’ wing fluttered in agitation. He hated how Aizawa twisted things.

“He’s a true nephilim.” Hawks clarified between gritted teeth.

The color drained from Hizashi's face. “He’s Enji’s son.”

“And you took him from me, Aizawa.” Enji snapped at the Daimon.

Though Shouta's mind was reeling, he remarked without remorse. “You should’ve taken better care.”

Todoroki move away from his Father. “Will someone take me away from him, please.”

“I got you, Kid.” Hawks looked back at Shouta, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. “Don’t return to the safe house unless you wanna be met by a swift death. Whatever connection you had with Reyanna is gone. And don’t take too much comfort in your Tie to her either. I’ll see that severed soon enough.”

39.2

“Anna!” Hawks called as soon as he had flinted him and Todoroki.

He wasn’t positive that Reyanna would have returned to the safe house; but since he couldn’t easily track her this was the surest place to look. Besides, even with her remembering what Aizawa had done, she would still want to make it easy for Todoroki to find her.

“She’s in a mood.” Dabi warned.

After Aizawa had left, and Kai had made his escape, Dabi hadn’t cared to stick around heavens gates. With nowhere else to go, he had brought Hitoshi back to the safe house. Unfortunately Shigaraki had returned with them.

He looked Hawks over, sensing the Archangel’s unrestrained power.

“I’d hardly say it was worth risking our lives, but at least you were successful. Not that your furry boyfriend will let you off easy.” He finished, turquoise eyes on Todoroki. “Aizawa?” He asked, glancing back at Hawks.

“Aizawa won’t be coming back.” Hawks said.

Dabi blinked at that. “Dead?”

No, Dabi thought. That didn’t sound right. Reyanna wouldn’t be here if Aizawa were dead. She would be out laying waste to a world that dared to go on without the Daimon in it.

“You bastard!” Reyanna’s fist met Hawks’ jaw.

Dabi stepped back, pulling Todoroki with him.

“Why didn’t you tell me!” She hit him again.

“Told you she was in a mood.” Dabi grinned, watching Hawks lift his hands in effort to shield himself.

Drawn by the commotion, Hitoshi and Shigaraki entered the living room.

“Anna! I tried! Anna, please. Listen.” Hawks grabbed her wrists.

“Let me go!” Reyanna barked, trying to pull free of his hold.

“Hizashi added to my restraint. I wanted to tell you but literally couldn’t.” Hawks told.

Her struggle lessened as his words were slowly processed. Finally, she stopped.

Hawks released his grip. “I’m sorry, Anna. I wanted to tell you. Believe me, I did.”

“Is this a new fun thing we’re doing? Beating up on Hawks till he apologizes?” Dabi questioned, eyes darting between them.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Reyanna said the same time as Hawks replied.

“She remembered that Aizawa raped her.”

“What?” Hitoshi exclaimed. “No.” He shook his head. “Aizawa would never.”

Dabi silently agreed. Not only would Aizawa never rape anyone, he mostly certainly would never rape Reyanna. The Daimon loved the troublesome woman more than his own life.

Reyanna’s fingers twitched back into fists. She wanted to hit Hawks for saying such a thing. She wanted to kill him for defaming her Love with such lies.

“He didn’t rape me.” She told, glaring daggers at the Archangel.

The tension in Hitoshi’s shoulders eased.

“Anna.”

Dabi internally cringed at Hawks patronizing tone.

Reyanna bristled when Hawks tenderly touched her arm and went on.

“You only think that because Aizawa's conditioned you all these years. The things that he’s done to you--”

“You mean like love and protect me.” She challenged, pulling away.

Hawks watched her sadly. “After so long with someone like him it’s no surprise that you wouldn’t think of what he did as rape. But it was, Anna. Whether you know it or not. That’s exactly what it was.”

Dabi felt a slight rise in her power and took another careful step back.

“Trust me. I know exactly what rape is.” Reyanna contended.

The feathers of Hawks’ wings puffed at that. The way Reyanna had spoken made it seem as if…

“Who?” Hawks demanded in a deadly hush.

Not wanting to talk about it, Reyanna snipped. “Does it matter? It was ages ago.”

“Did he know?” Hawks questioned.

Reyanna’s eyebrows pulled together.

“Shouta?” She shook her head. “Of course he didn’t.”

“He does now.” Shigaraki interjected, tapping the back of Kai’s severed hand against his palm.

Dabi turned and scowled at the Demon.

He didn’t know who he wanted to hit up side the head more. Shigaraki for interrupting the drama, or Hawks for being such an idiot.

Reyanna turned to Todoroki. “Do you know what the next step is?”

39.3

“So… Make yourself at home.” Hizashi said, even as Shouta fell into the sofa and kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

Hizashi looked about his penthouse apartment. It felt weird to be home after so much had happened.

He still couldn’t believe that Enji had let them leave without a fight.

”You’ve been working with Aizawa and Reyanna all this time.” Enji’s words had been a statement, not a question.

It made Hizashi wonder how long the Archangel had known. Or if Enji had just put it together because he had been standing there when the rest of heavens Host had been battling at the gates.

”Go. Before I drag you in and see you Released and Restrained. Protect my son for me.”

Hizashi wondered if the Second Chief would drag him in to be Released and Restrained if he learned that he and Shouta hadn’t flinted to the safe house where Reyanna and Todoroki were.

He stepped to the apartments entry. Having been gone for a while there was a significant pile of notes that had been slipped under his door. Most of the missives were likely from people under his angelic care that didn’t know of the greater world and thought that he was human.

Bending, Hizashi began to pick them up.

“I still can’t believe Todoroki is Enji’s son.” Without thinking he asked Shouta. “Why do you think he didn’t age as quickly as Anna did?”

Realizing his mistake, he looked over at his friend. Shouta hadn’t moved.

“Reyanna doesn’t think you raped her.” Hizashi offered.

Shouta sat up, his feet hitting the floor with a loud thud.

There was a dangerous undercurrent to the Daimon's voice as he stated. “Of course she doesn’t. I didn’t. Nor would I ever think of doing such a thing. I love her. She knows that.”

Hizashi swallowed.

As much as the guilt plagued him, he did his best not to think about what he had helped Aizawa do. The deaths of Tamaki and the last Llaes had been bad enough. But no matter how he or anyone else viewed it, the only thing that truly mattered was how Shouta and Reyanna saw it.

“What is all that?” Shouta asked, taking in the small pile the Angel knelt by.

“Messages.”

Shouta's eyebrows knitted together.

“They’re mostly from humans I look after.” Hizashi explained, deciding to leave the pile for now.

“What a bother.” Shouta grumbled, slumping in his seat.

“I don’t mind. I rather like being of service.” He got to his feet and moved over to the sofa smiling. “The last time I was home I had nine girls in here needing my attention.”

Shouta arch an eyebrow. He had figured Hizashi got around. But that many at once…

“It’s nice. Feeling wanted and appreciated.” Hizashi said, sitting on the sofa.

39.4

Not wanting to go back into the room she had shared with Shouta, Reyanna had taken Hizashi's bedroom. Hawks had offered up his but she had waved him off. It wasn’t as if Hizashi would be coming back.

Hair still dripping from her shower, Reyanna sat on the edge of the bed.

Oblvi. The last step to closing one of the gates seemed to be more deadly than the previous two. And considering she had died during the course of the second step…

She hadn’t told the others that. She didn’t want to worry them. But she wished Shouta were with her so she could talk to him about what Death had told her.

Shouta…

Her eyes welled with tears. She both loved and hated him.

“Anna.” A knock sounded on the door.

Sniffing, she stood up. “It’s unlocked.”

Hawks opened the door. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m fine.” She lied.

“Anna.” Hawks moved to stand in front of her. “You’re far from alright.”

“I told you. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know. But I’m here if you do.”

“Thanks.”

Hawks placed a hand on her arm and sighed. “You and Aizawa were together for a long time. It’ll take time for the wound he made to heal and for you to move on. But at least your Bond is broken.”

Reyanna swallowed, blinking away the sting of tears. She didn’t want her and Shouta's bond to be broken.

“And once we’re done with this third step, I’ll help you sever his Tie to you. You never have to see Aizawa again. With Aizawa gone and the Child of Hopes task complete, you can begin anew. All will be well. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll be by your side and help you with everything.”

With their bond broken and the way they had left things, Shouta's tie to her felt like the last connection she had to him. The thought of having it severed…

Reyanna sobbed.

“Oh, Anna!” Hawks wrapped his arms around her.

Reyanna hung onto him, crying into his shoulder.

If only she had done as Shouta said and not run. Sure his deal with Lucifer still would have existed but at least she wouldn’t have betrayed the Llaes. At least Shouta wouldn’t have taken and twisted something special in his effort to make her betray her promise to Abril. It wasn’t as if Shouta hadn’t done unsavory things in the past. Much as she didn’t like it, she understood that he did those things for her; because he loved her. But this...

Hawks’ great red wings extended and curved around her, sealing them off from the world. “You don’t need Aizawa, Anna. You have friends. You have me. I’ll never hurt you like he did. I’ll never force you into something you don’t want. I’ll support and protect you. I lov--”

“I don’t need protection.” Reyanna mumbled.

She pulled her head off his shoulder, hands dropping to her sides.

“Of course you don’t.” Hawks said, wings closing in when she tired to step back. “You’re beautiful and strong. But just because you don’t need protecting doesn’t mean you don’t need anyone. We all need someone, Anna.”

“Like you had Abril.”

Hawks gave a small smile. “Yeah. Like I had Abril, and you had Aizawa. But Abril’s been gone for centuries. And things between you and Aizawa are over.”

Before Reyanna realized where he was going with this, Hawks pulled her closer. One of his hands lifted to cup her face.

Her eyes widened. She jerked back her head only for him to follow.

Her blade dropped into her hand. “Back off!”

Hawks stopped at the feel of her weapon pricking his throat. His hands released her. His wings opened and folded back.

He didn’t dare breath. The point of her blade was already piercing his skin making it impossible for his system to heal the wound.

Hot, slick blood roll down his neck in a tiny but steady stream.

Satisfied that he wasn’t going to try anything like that again, Reyanna pulled her weapon back. The blade disappeared, and then so did she, flinting away.

39.5

Todoroki stepped around the sofa Hitoshi sat in. “Mind if I join you?”

Lavender eyes never leaving the TV, Hitoshi shrugged.

Todoroki sat down beside his friend. “Where’s everybody else?”

Hitoshi shrugged again.

“Are you mad at me?”

Hitoshi blinked at the TV.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

The Were rolled his eyes.

“Everything happened so fast and with Reyanna worried that Aizawa would return at--”

Hitoshi pushed the remotes power button and snapped. “I don’t wanna hear your excuses.”

“They’re not excuses.”

“You left without a word. You could’ve died up there.”

“I’m sorry.” Todoroki apologized. “But in all honesty there was little chance of me dying. Even if my Father--”

“And when were you gonna share that little tidbit!” Hitoshi shook his head and muttered. “I can’t believe you knew you were a nephilim all this time and didn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t know the entire time.” Todoroki stated, calmly.

“Still, you should've told me.”

Hitoshi put his hands on the sofa cushion, but before he could push to his feet Todoroki put his hand on top of his.

“I’m sorry. Truly, I am. I messed up.” Todoroki’s fingers began to curl around Hitoshi’s hand only to stop.

He had already upset the Were by keeping things from him. He didn’t want to further upset his friend by presuming or pressuring.

Todoroki’s hand began to lift.

Without thinking, Hitoshi turned his own hand and took the Llaes’.

Their fingers intertwined.

“Don’t hide things from me again.” Hitoshi said, thickly.

“I won’t.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

Leaning back, Hitoshi hit the remotes power button again. “When are you gonna tell Reyanna that completing the task hinges on Aizawa going to Oblvi with us?”

“At the last possible moment.” Todoroki said.

Hitoshi snorted, his thumb brushing the back of Todoroki’s hand.

#bnha #aizawa shouta #yandere aizawa #hizashi yamada #bnha hawks #todoroki enji #shinsou hitoshi #todoroki shouto #dabi my hero academia #shigaraki tomura #yandere #my hero academia #chaos

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eldiariodeariadna · 5 years

Text

Ficha de personaje: Naomi Nakahara

(normal vs. enojada)

Ficha de personaje: Naomi Nakahara

Nombre: Naomi Nakahara

Edad: 20 (humanos)

Raza: Águila 🦅

Cumpleaños: 29 de Abril

Signo: Tauro ♉️

Ocupación: estudiante de medicina; heredera del clan águila.

Color favorito: negro y gris

Comida favorita: tofu

Bebida favorita: té negro con leche

Hobbies: aprender sobre diversos temas de medicina, tocar la flauta transversa e ir de compras

Alguna marca de nacimiento, cicatriz, etc: tiene pecas en su rostro lo que la hace ver menor a su edad.

Cabello: negro

Ojos: violetas; se vuelven verdes al experimentar enojo

Estatura: 1.72

Familia

Madre: Kouyou Nakahara (viva)

Padre: Kouyosuke Nakahara (vivo)

Interés amoroso: Yuri.

Datos curiosos:

Cuando experimenta enojo, desea verse más imponente o amenazante sus ojos cambian a color a verde; en casos más extremos mostrará sus alas de águila.

Desde que era muy joven se interesó en los humanos por la variedad de literatura que adquiría de esa procedencia

ella siente y en cierta forma actúa más como humana por su mismo interés y el mismo hecho de convivir mucho con ellos

Odia a la gente interesada y superficial

amenazó a sus padres de renunciar al trono cuando expresaron su preocupación por su relación con el clan ghoul y Yuri particularmente

los temas de sexualidad son sus favoritos, pero solo es indiscreta con Ariadna para molestarla

Ariadna se refiere a Naomi como “mamá cuervo” cuando es sobreprotectora o le hace un cumplido; de igual forma Ariadna y Kino se refieren a Naomi y a Yuri como “par de tortolitos” ya que ambos son literalmente técnicamente aves

Kino le tiene respeto y eso es decir mucho

Naomi fue una pieza clave para que el clan águila apoyara la causa de los ghouls

acepta que es una cínica, pervertida y que no tiene pelos en la lengua

es raro que se sonroje: solo Yuri lo hace inconscientemente, pero ella lo niega

la cultura mexicana le gusta mucho por influencia de Ariadna

Naomi “secuestra a Ari” para sacarla a pasear aunque Kino se niegue, a ella no le importa.

Personalidad:

Es una dama en toda la extensión de la palabra, al ser la princesa del clan águila recibió la más alta educación en cualquier aspecto posible. En un principio es una joven seria, honesta, directa y muy educada. Suele llegar a ser fría en su trato, pero es muy paciente y educada con todos. Es muy observadora, analítica, sincera, ordenada y dedicada con su educación. Cuando llega a conocer a alguien y se vuelve cercana a esta persona (lo cual es raro), muestra su lado sobreprotector, bromista, cínico y pervertido.

Adora y es bastante protectora de Ariadna, la cual la ve como una hermana menor aunque sean de la misma edad (se conocen ambas a los 20 años). Con Ariadna es más expresiva, honesta, atrevida incluso, divertida y pervertida. Es la única que gracias a su título de princesa puede ponerle un alto a Kino. Si hay algo que no le parece, no tiene miedo a expresar su opinión, depende a la persona la manera en que la expresa: de manera educada y moderada o de manera brutalmente honesta. No tiene pelos en la lengua y gracias a su mentalidad lógica a Ariadna le recuerda a su propia hermana mayor Akane. Tiene especial interés por los humanos y por eso estudia medicina para humanos.

Historia:

Como ya dije antes, Naomi es la princesa heredera al clan águila. Al ser una princesa recibió la mayor calidad en educación. Siempre le gustó aprender de todos los temas, justo esa ávida hambre por conocimiento la llevó a terminar todos los libros de demonios disponibles en su casa y empezar a leer literatura de humanos. Siempre pensó que eran criaturas interesantes y bellas, por lo que empezó desde su corta edad a actuar como uno. Eso a sus padres no les molestó en absoluto, pero el resto de sus conocidos de la aristocracia la calificaban como rara. Debidos a su carácter, Naomi decidió estudiar en casa para no lidiar con la gente hipócrita e interesada. Solía ser una niña solitaria, aunque siempre deseo tener una hermana o hermano pero sus padres solo querían un único hijo. Era más cercana a su madre y amaba a su institutriz Sofía a quien sus padres contrataron para que se encargará de su educación. Sofía sabía mucho y le enseñó muchas cosas además de alimentar su curiosidad por los humanos, tristemente debido a su edad murió dejando en Naomi un gran dolor.

Conoció tanto a Ariadna y a Yuri en una de las primeras reuniones entre clanes. Sintió particular interés por Yuri por su serenidad y educación…además de su inusual apariencia. Al conversar con él notó tanto su olor como su manera de ser diferentes a los demonios que ella conocía. El mismo día conoció a Ariadna y sintió celos de ella, porque pensó que Yuri era el líder del clan ghoul y por tanto creyó que Ariadna era su novia. Poco después conoció de Kino y su relación con Ariadna, al igual que la naturaleza ghoul de Yuri. Cuando cayó en cuenta de que se había enamorado de Yuri, fue ella una pieza clave para que el clan águila fuera el primero en apoyar a los ghoul. De igual forma sirvió como “ejemplo” de relación entre diferentes razas de demonios (al ser ella águila y Yuri ghoul).

Convivió de igual forma con Ari y sintió mucho aprecio por ella, por su mismo deseo de haber tenido una hermana, al punto que la protegía de Yuuri y Kino por igual. Ariadna tuvo gran influencia en su ya presente interés por los humanos y de igual forma la introdujo en la cultura mexicana. Ambas se volvieron grandes amigas y platican de todo con total seguridad, Ariadna acude a ella todo el tiempo cuando desea platicar con ella o pedirle un consejo. Ambas se sienten muy cómodas de conversar que cualquier cosa, siendo grandes amigas y confidentes.

*futuro*

Naomi se graduó de la universidad de medicina e hizo su especialidad en ginecología. Se volvió en la doctora familiar de los líderes ghouls y confidente de Ariadna. Naomi fue quien desde un principio ayudó a Ariadna a sentirse cómoda y segura de muchas de sus decisiones sobretodo en aspectos más personales e íntimos. Naomi es amiga tanto de Ariadna como de Kino, aunque siempre está del lado de Ariadna siendole incondicional.

Naomi se casó con Yuri antes que Ariadna lo hiciera y ambas fueron sus respectivas damas de honor. Por un tiempo ambas parejas vivieron juntas y después Naomi y Yuri se mudaron a su casa propia. Ambas planeaban quedar embarazadas al mismo tiempo, pero curiosamente ambas sufrieron de igual forma dificultad para embarazarse. La razón de Naomi fue por la misma diferencia de razas: Yuri siendo ghoul y ella águila. Ella junto a su esposo guardaron el secreto de Áaron e incluso hicieron de testigos para su adopción.

Tuvieron a su hijo Tomás un año después de la llegada de Áaron. Por su amor a la cultura de Ariadna nombró a su hijo con un nombre latino y ambos niños entonces se volvieron en grandes amigos lo que hizo a ambas muy felices. Naomi fue la primera en notar el embarazo de Ariadna y la ayudó durante todo el proceso. Fue la más emocionada de volverse tía y la ayudó muchas veces a cuidar de sus hijos.

Extra: Estilo de moda

(casual)

(formal / atuendo real)

Mun Ari: ¡holi! He decidido hacer una rápida ficha de personaje de los nuevos integrantes de la historia de Ariadna~ Seguro se habrán dado cuenta que le cambié el nombre a esta pequeña de “Jazmín” a “Naomi”. La razón fue que al pensar en su historia no me hizo sentido ponerle un nombre latino si su origen era japonés ^^’. Inusualmente esta ficha de personaje me quedó corta, pero bueno es que su vida realmente empieza con su encuentro con Ariadna y Yuri :3

English under the cut

Character sheet: Naomi Nakahara

(normal vs. angry)

Name: Naomi Nakahara

Age: 20 (human)

Race: Águila 🦅

Birthday: April 29

Sign: Taurus ♉️

Occupation: medicine student; heiress to the eagle clan

Favorite color(s): black and grey

Favorite food: tofu

Favorite drink: black tea with milk

Hobbies: learn about various medicine topics, play the transverse flute and going shopping

Any birth sign, scar, etc: she has freckles on her face which make her look younger

Hair color: black

Eye color: violet; they turn green when she experiences anger

Height: 1.72

Relatives:

Mother: Kouyou Nakahara (alive)

Father: Kouyosuke Nakahara (alive)

Love interest: Yuri.

Curious facts:

When she experiences anger, wants to look

Cuando experimenta enojo, desea verse más imposing o threatening her eyes turn green; in extreme cases she’ll even show her eagle wings.

Since she was little she became interested in humans for the variety of literature que acquire from the human world.

She feels and acts in a way more like a human due to that same interest, plus she interacts a lot with them.

She hates interested and superficial people

She threatened her parents to give up the throne when they expressed their preoccupation about her relationship with the ghouls, but more specifically with Yuri.

she has a peculiar interest in sexuality, but she’s only indiscrete with Ariadna to tease her/ embarrass her.

Ariadna referes to Naomi as “mamá cuervo” (crow mom: term used in Mexico to refer to someone who is always bragging about their children or grandchildren) when she’s overprotective of her or compliments her. Also Ariadna and Kino refer to both Naomi and Yuri as “par de tortolitos” (similar to “lovebirds”: term used in Mexico to refer a couples that are constantly showing physical gestures mostly in public to let everyone know they are in love) since both are literally technically birds (raven and eagle…get it? badum tsss).

Kino respect her and that’s saying much

Naomi was an important key for the eagle clan to support the cause of the ghouls

She accepts she cynic, pervert and she’s not afraid to speak up her mind.

It’s weird for her to blush: only Yuri can do it unconsciously, but she’ll deny it

She likes Mexican culture a lot thanks to Ariadna’s influence

Naomi “kidnaps Ariadna” to take her out even if Kino is against it, she doesn’t care

Personality:

Naomi is a lady in all the extension of the word, as the princess of the eagle clan she received the highest education and she shows it in any aspect. At first, she’s serious, honest, direct and very polite. She tends to be cold, but she’s very patience and polite with everyone. She’s very observant, analytic, honest, organized and dedicated to her education. When she get to know somebody and became close with this person (which is very rare), she shows her overprotective, playful, cynic and pervert side.

She adores and overprotects Ariadna, sho she sees as a little sister even though they are the same human age (they both met when they were 20 years old). With Ariadna she’s more expressive, honest, bold even, funny and pervert. Thanks to her title of princess she’s able to put some sort of “limit” to Kino. If she doesn’t agree to something she’s no afraid to to express her opinion, depending the person she’ll either express her opinion in a polite yet honest way or she’ll spit it out in a very brutally honest manner. Thanks to her logical mentality reminds Ariadna of her own sister (Akane). Naomi has a peculiar interest to humans and that’s why she also studies human medicine.

Background:

As I’ve said before, Naomi is the princess and next in line to the throne to the eagle clan. As the princess she is she was highly educated. She also enjoyed studying about everything and that hunger for knowledge lead her to finish all demonic content in her house until she resorted to human literature. She always thought humans were interesting and beautiful creatures, for that reason at a young age she acted as one. Her parents wouldn’t be bothered by this, yet the rest of the aristocracy she had to interact with would describe her as weird. Yet Naomi possessed a strong personality and would rather avoid them than deal with hypocritical and interested people. She would be a rather lonely girl and she always wished having a small brother or sister, yet her parents only wanted an only child. She was closer to her mother and her governess/educator Sophia whom her parents hired to be in charge of Naomi’s education. Sophia knew a lot which she taught Naomi and she even feed even more her curiosity for humans, however she died due to her age leaving a huge feeling of loss in Naomi.

Naomi met Ariadna and Yuri in one of the first reunions between the clans. She felt peculiar interest in Yuri’s serenity and politeness plus his unusual appearance. When they talked she caught his peculiar smell and behaviour to be different from any demons she had met before. At first she felt rather jealous for Ariadna as Naomi confused Yuri as the ghoul’s clan and therefore thought Ariadna was his girlfriend. Later on she met Kino and his relationship with Ariadna as well as Yuri’s ghoul nature. When she realized she was in love with Yuri, she confessed first and was an essential key for the eagle clan to support the ghouls and being one of their first allies. Their relationship also worked as an example of a relationship between races (an eagle and a ghouls).

She got to know Ariadna better and felt appreciation for her and even started treating her as her little sister. It was in such a way that she went to the extent of protecting Ariadna from Kino and Yuri even. Ariadna had a huge influence on Naomi in her already interest for humans and in the same way Ariadna introduced her to the Mexican culture. They both became great friends and they talk about everything with full trust. They are comfortable about this fact to the point they are both each other’s confidants.

*Future*

Naomi graduated from college in medicine and specialized in gynecology. She turned in the family doctor of the ghoul’s leaders, but more specifically in Ariadna’s confident. Naomi helped Ariadna in many ways as to feel comfortable about many personal and intimate aspects. Naomi is both friends with Ariadna and Kino, although she’s always on Ariadna’s side whom she’s unconditional

Naomi married Yuri before Ariadna did with Kino and they were their respectives bridesmaids. For some time they all live under the same roof, but later one Naomi and Yuri moved to their own home. They both planned to get pregnant at the same time, but they both experienced difficulties to do so (the race difference was the main problem in Naomi's case). Both Naomi and Yuri kept the secret of Áaron’s origin and they agreed to be witnesses for his adoption.

Naomi gave birth to her baby Tomás (Thomas) a year later from Áaron’s arrival. She named her child with a Latin name dueto Ariadna’s influence and both children became best friends which made both mother to be very happy. Naomi was the first one years later to notice Ariadna’s pregnancy and help her all through the process of it. She was the happiest to turned into an aunt and she helps Ariadna to take her of her children once in a while.

Extra: Fashion style

(casual)

(formal / princess attire)

#eldiariodeariadna #Naomi Nakahara #NaomixYuri #Ficha de personaje #diabolik lovers latino #diabolik lovers oc

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fangirling-throughlife · 5 years

Text

Sant Jordi (World's Book Day)

Summary: Shawn falls for a Valencian girl who's an enormous bookworm.

A/N: as today (well, it's past 12, so technically it was yesterday) is Sant Jordi (a festivity in Spain, specially in Aragón and Catalonia), a day commemorating the World Book Day (because of the anniversary of the death of Shakespeare, Miguel de Cervantes and Garcilaso de la Vega), I thought of this little idea. I'm from Valencia (where the girl is from), so it's just almost 2k of publicity for my city and my language (Catalan). So, if anybody is going to visit or would like to visit the city, I'll be happy to answer any questions. Also, I'm a big bookworm, which is why it's about books and St. Jordi. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

Word count: 1795 words

One of the first things Shawn learned about Anna was her unending love for books. She didn’t mind when it happened, where she was or in whose company, she always had a book between her hands. She couldn’t leave the house without something to read, and Shawn had learned that the hard way. During Christmas he had flown out to Valencia, her hometown, to spend some time with her, as he would be starting tour soon, so he wouldn’t have the time to see his girl, who was busy with her classes. One night, between Christmas and New Year, he took her out to have dinner and watch a movie. They arrived late to the restaurant, because she realised she didn't have her book with her when they were on their way for 10 minutes.

It isn't surprising, though, considering where he met her. She spent the summer in Toronto, studying English, and she went to a little book shop next to Shawn's building two or three times a week. Shawn saw her one day, roaming the aisles full of shelves and talking to Leonard, the owner, as if she were an old friend, and was intrigued immediately. He noticed she usually was there between 18 and 20, so he went outside around those hours, hoping to see her.

He looked at her black hair, her dark-brown eyes hidden behind considerably thick glasses and her tanned skin. He knew her features so well that he saw her when he closed his eyes. At one point, he started feeling like a stalker, but he couldn't stop thinking about her. He noticed that she wasn't Canadian three weeks after he saw her for the first time, when she left the shop one day talking on her phone. He didn't recognize the language, though he was sure it wasn't French (he surely would've recognized some words). All he knew was that it was beautiful and melodic, so it had to be something between French, Italian and Spanish. He realised that she would be leaving soon (he asked Brian when college started generally, as she was giving off some big nerdy college girl vibes), so he decided he had to talk to her before she did. One day, after he checked she was inside, he entered and talked to her, pretending to be looking for a gift for Aaliyah. He asked for her advice, which she gave very excitedly, and, after 30 minutes, he found the courage to ask her out to have a drink.

If Shawn loved the idea of her, after “stalking” her for three weeks, he fell for her the moment she talked to him. He was surprised when she admitted she knew his music, because she was completely cool with the fact that Shawn Mendes himself asked her out. She talked about her dream to become a writer, or, at least, an editor, and he talked about how much he loved writing music. They kept on seeing each other every night after her classes for the last 10 days she spent in the city.

By the time she had to go back to Valencia, the both of them were deeply in love with each other. The only thing stopping him from buying a ticket to go see her were the multiple commitments he had for the next months. The first time he could go see her was end-October, for her birthday. When he got to Valencia and she showed the city to him, he understood her personality. She mirrored the beauty of her city perfectly. He quickly noticed the duality of it: it's got the characteristics of a big city as well as of a small provincial town. It combines century-old history in the centre with a modern and vibrant side more outside. Just like he expected (just by knowing her) the people were nice and welcoming. For the first time in ages, he could enjoy some time without being “the Rockstar” all the time, as people seemed to be very chill about him being there.

As tour started in Amsterdam in March (she didn't have so much work around that time), he made sure she was there for the two first shows. She didn't have any classes for a whole week afterwards, but as she quickly explained to him, “It's Fallas, I can't miss that. Plus, I've already said yes to a billion plans, I won't even be free.” So, from the 15th till the 20th of March, he would find after every single show pictures of his bookworm girlfriend at parties, in front of statues that, according to her, were “a form of art, and satire” (he would have to see them with his own eyes, and maybe actually understand her language to conceive that very deep meaning she was trying to explain). She sent him awfully long videos of fireworks displays, every night longer than the previous one. Through her camera and his screen he was dragged into the festivities of Fallas, something he definitely needed to experience by himself.

His favourite moment of March, though, was the show in Barcelona. She didn't answer the phone for hours, making him anxious, but she appeared out of thin air backstage, sharing a mischievous smile with Brian. Later, he found out that they had been plotting against his sanity for the past hours. That day he saw her really get into the show and the atmosphere. She was fluent in both French and English, but in Barcelona she could speak her native languages, Spanish and Catalan. She surely didn't notice, but he did: she opened up, she chatted with fans and won them over with her charming personality. After all, she was talking to her people. She freaked out when Aitana came backstage and asked for a picture with her “please, please, please” . That day, he knew that the love for her culture would always be enormous.

She couldn't make it to the final show in London, because she had an exam on Thursday and the combination of trains, flights and busses was simply impossible, so she just watched it from a video call with Brian. She saw her boy be sick and told him to stay hydrated, she told him how proud she was, but she couldn't help but feel awful because she wasn't there, with all his family and loved ones. When he announced, after the show, that he was going back to Toronto in the morning, she couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. One part of her understood him completely. He had been away for such a long time that he needed to be in his own bed to recharge. He had studio sessions and SNL coming up, so she shouldn't be surprised that he wasn't coming. He still called her every single day and night, he asked about her classes (didn't she tell him they had 2 weeks of Easter Holiday?) and about the city (the weather was awful, so she didn't leave the house).

The one subject he seemed to avoid was the most pressing one considering the time of the year. To Anna, the most important festivity (even though it wasn't a national holiday, it should be, in her opinion) was St. Jordi. She remembered with a smile the story she heard every year at school. And, even though there were two official days to celebrate love in Valencia (the historical one, Sant Dionís, on October 9th, and the globalised one, Saint Valentine, on February 14th), she considered Sant Jordi, on April 23rd, the one true lover's day. The traditional gifting of a rose and a book was, in her opinion, the most romantic gesture in a relationship. Well, she didn't really care about the rose (although she couldn't deny the fact that she was a hopeless romantic and she loved to get a rose), she was always eager to know what the book would be. It was also the first Sant Jordi since she started dating Shawn, so she was terrified. Hadn't she made it clear how important the day was to her? He didn't have to fly over, he could just ship a book, or even send her a gift card so she could buy the books herself.

When midday passed on the 23rd, she decided she wouldn't be waiting for him to call alone sitting on her couch. Even though it was raining (surprise, “En abril, aigües mil” (in April, it rains a lot)), she took her umbrella and raincoat and walked to the book fair. All the stress she had been building for the past weeks vanished when she saw the thousands of books in front of her. She quickly started to look (not buy, that's her strategy: first looking and then deciding on the purchase), and she almost forgot about her boyfriend who'd forgotten about this special day.

But, the same way she kept quiet for the entire day when she went to see him in Barcelona, he didn't talk to her while he was getting to Valencia. Even though he didn't think she'd be at home, he tried, and his suspicions were confirmed by her sister. So, he immediately left for the book fair. With the help of her sister, he found her without attracting too much attention to himself. She was reading the first chapter of a book she seemed to be considering, a second one in her hand to check up on later. He slightly chuckled, because she's the only person who would stop to read the first chapter of a book before deciding on buying or not. He immediately froze, but relaxed rapidly, as his chuckle didn't give away his presence. When she finally was done, she returned one of the books to its place and turned to take her wallet. That moment, she was met with the view of Shawn Mendes with a red rose, her favourite, and a copy of her favourite author's new book. At first, she couldn't believe it, until he walked up to her and whispered in her ear, “it's not that funny to be kept in the dark for so long, isn't it?” She laughed, knowing he was talking about her's and Brian's stunt in Barcelona, promising herself she would never do it again. “It's not. I thought you didn't remember.” She confessed. “That was my whole idea.” She couldn't help but glare at him, but he quickly pressed his lips onto hers, smiling in the kiss. “Feliç dia del Llibre, amor”. (Happy Book Day, love) Shawn said, proud of himself for remembering the phrase completely. She chuckled (he didn't understand why, though, his pronunciation had been excellent), and answered. “Feliç dia de Sant Jordi, amor.” (Happy St. George day, love).

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes imagine #sant jordi #book world day #bookworm #valencia #spain

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