#All of my lovely Hetalia women cosplays

[saltedcosplay]

Happy International Women’s Day!

[thefreakishmuffin]

Hetalia is coming back, and I have some thoughts...

Alrighty everyone, here we go! As if 2020 couldn’t get more insane...

(This is a longer post, so I’ll add fun gifs to separate the walls of text so it isn’t so exhausting to read).

So, if you’ve been on the internet since the early 2010′s, you’ve most likely seen, or at least heard, of an odd show called Hetalia. This anime, with the manga originally created by Hidekaz Himaruya, was later adapted into an anime. For those who are either new to the internet or have been living under a rock for the last decade, Hetalia, first going under the name Hetalia: Axis Powers, is a show about different events in world history and world politics, all being portrayed by people who represent different countries. Each country - or character, you could say - is essentially the embodiment of all their respective country’s stereotypes. 

For example, Germany is extremely strict, loud, militaristic, and often angry or stubborn. Italy is an absolute coward who is obsessed with pasta and beautiful women. And America is an over-the-top, loud, bombastic, arrogant dork who is constantly downing fast food and calling himself a “hero.” The list goes on and on, but you get the idea. 

Hetalia was, and still is, an extremely weird show. And with season seven on the horizon, coming to us in Spring 2021, I feel like I ought to talk about it. And why am I taking the time to talk about it?

Because I am a veteran Hetalian. 

(Me laughing but slowly dying inside)

You read that right. Throughout all of middle school and the first few months of high school (almost four years), I was an absolute obsessive Hetalia fangirl. Outside of the internet, I was the biggest fan I knew, along with the guy who was my best friend at the time. We’d binge watch the show, read and write fanfiction, bring others into the cult fandom, talk about it almost constantly, draw fanart, watch the funny mmd video compilations on YouTube, delve really deep into world history, quote and reenact all of our favorite scenes - we even cosplayed England and Prussia one year for Halloween! This was the show that made me the HUGE history nerd I am today! I even got a book on the complete history of Prussia one year for Christmas.

Yep. We were those kind of fans. (Not gonna lie, as a now twenty-year-old woman, I still kinda cringe looking back at my middle school years. But I was having fun, so who cares?)

So when I heard we were getting another season after a five year hiatus, you’d think I’d be super stoked that a show I was once madly in love with was coming back from the dead, right? 

(The part of me that is thrilled about Hetalia returning)

Well... It’s a little complicated. I won’t lie that I am really excited for this new season, and I’m of course gonna watch the entire series over again in preparation for it. But I have some hopes, worries, and mixed emotions about everything happening, and everything that may or may not go down when the season eventually airs, including the time leading up to it. I even have a particular topic I want to get to, but you’ll see that later in the post.

To address my worries, we first have to go way back to the early days of the fandom. For the most part, the Hetalia fandom was just really weird, fun, nerdy, and quirky. Nothing wrong with that. I feel like the fandom already had an odd reputation, but at least it wasn’t a bad one. That is until we had some... How should I say... Toxic behaviors and incidents start to take place. 

Allow me to explain. How I see it, every fandom has some kind of toxicity level. The toxicity level is from the fans who are, well, toxic. We all know who they are, and you’ve likely met at least a few here and there. And the toxicity levels vary from fandom to fandom. In some it’s very low, and in others it’s very high. I wouldn’t say the Hetalia fandom’s toxicity level was super high, but it wasn’t incredibly low either. We had the usual problems, like some intense shipping wars and people debating on different ideas and headcanons, but the Hetalia fandom had something a bit different going on.

(My two personalities trying to coexist in peace)

You see, a lot of people didn’t like - or even hated - Hetalia, because they saw it as racist and offensive. If you admitted you liked Hetalia outside of the fandom, you ran a definite risk of getting either shunned or degraded for it. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you had a group of fans - a rather small group of fans, mind you - who did some pretty insensitive things that ended up landing the fandom in some serious hot water.

You’d have people in that small group of fans who’d openly do the Nazi salute while cosplaying Germany at conventions, and there was even the incident where you had fans cosplaying as Nazi Germany to the holocaust museum, where they decided to pose doing the Nazi salute. I even saw a cosplay of Germany and Prussia pointing guns at the Star of David, which is a well known symbol of the Jewish faith. Not to mention the fans who seemed to fetishize Nazi Germany and Prussia. Now, I may not know about everything these people did, as I was pretty good at staying on the light side of the fandom, but these were some pretty well known and disgraceful problems that everyone would find out about sooner or later.

Sadly enough, it was that small, tiny percentile of the fandom that did things that were so offensive, so wrong, that it was greatly magnified by others, thus giving the fandom its toxic, even cringey reputation. And I really hope we don’t have to relive that all over again.

(Me singing songs about punching Nazis and eating pasta)

So what I hope is that we are able to leave all of that behind us. Though I’ve already seen some Twitter users try to start drama all over again by reposting the offensive cosplays, and Tumblr users getting their panties in a wad because they apparently have nothing else better to do. But because a vast majority of the Hetalia fans are like me in that we’ve grown older and matured, I’m hoping we can help guide the younger, newer fans in the right direction.

And I won’t deny that I am very worried about the newer fans getting harassed and bullied on social media. I don’t have a lot of advice when it comes to the haters, other than the usual ‘ignore them and don’t respond’, tactic. But just know that if they don’t leave you alone, you can always block them.

And here’s another bit I want to touch upon. While I can completely understand why people see this show as racist and offensive, I honestly don’t think it is. If anything, I think it actually teaches us something. And no, I’m not talking about history right here. I’m talking about the stereotypes, and how they are portrayed. I think this show helps us to understand that all of these different stereotypes we have about different people and countries are all stupid and silly.

Do we actually know a German who is exactly like Hetalia’s Germany? No. Do any of us know an Englishman who is identical to Hetalia’s England in every way? Of course not. This series helps us to understand that the stereotypes so many of us hold onto today are nothing more than just stupid, silly old ideas that have been blown far out of proportion over the years. 

Many people try to claim that this show is overtly racist and tries to divide, but in my opinion, I think it ties us together.

(My last two braincells writing up this post at around midnight)

At the end of the day, I’m incredibly excited and eager to see the new season of Hetalia, and everything that it will have in store for us. And it’s fun too look back on all the nostalgic memories I have of this show. This is all I have to say for now, but I may or may not be coming back to this topic in the future. Might even make another blog for Hetalia while I’m coming back to the fandom. After all, this is known as the fandom you can’t escape from.

Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go press play on Hetalia: Axis Powers episode one, and let myself spiral into insanity once again!

[pixeltalia]

Hey! I really love your recent post! It's so great to learn smth about someone who makes you happy with their asdfhjkhch I think it's great you like sewing especially bc it's a hobby that's 'uncool for young ppl'. It's also fine to listen to bands that are seen as emo, but only listen if you enjoy it :) All together I really like you and your blog/art and want to thank you so much for making hetalia art and updating regularly bc it's not very common. Plz stay hydrated and don't die in the heat!

hhh thank u!!! i have the most all-over the place music taste,,, i have a playlist that goes from abba to rites of spring (1986 post-hardcore band that basically started emo) to dragostea din tei so,,,

and, yeah, sewing is a weird one ig?? it feels odd bc even if young ppl say they like sewing it usually means like,, cosplay making or dress making or some and like,, id love to do that and im working towards it!! but my Skill and Experience is in cross stitch and embroidery,,,, so whenever i try to join stuff related to that it's just me, a 16yo guy, and a bunch of 60yo women lol,, but cross stitch is kinda what got me into pixel art so i gotta say,, my life would be very different without it

also!! thank u for appreciating my blog!! ik i post a lot (i try to do an art post of some kind at least daily) and it probably annoys some ppl but like,, i feel like ive been way less depressed since starting this blog??? idk i seem to be in an oversharing mood but u know,,, ive been depressed as long as i can remember and ive always rlly struggled with loneliness and finally feeling like part of a community is rlly helping??? wow that is wayyyyyyy too deep but yeah. makes me feel,,,, less cosmically and/or socially insignificant

sorry for such a long answer but thank u for ur ask!!! in case i can't tell,, i don't get a chance to talk about this much

[nyxravessnow]

2.5D Stage Ranking (Personal Opinion) pt.2

This is the part two, the ranking of enjoyment

Top 10 in Enjoyment

This will simply be how much I enjoyed the stage. Mostly I prefer comedy so for me quite a lot of these will have a lot of funny moments but not all of them do. 

This will be extremely opinionated but I will try to be positive. Weirdly even though these are the ten shows I most enjoyed, I don’t think three of them would be in my top ten favourite. Some explanations will be more emotional than others.

I will also not explain about the plot to the shows and will try to spoil as little as possible.

1. Prince of Tennis

This should come as no surprise and I won’t go into this two much but Prince of Tennis is the show that really kickstarted 2.5D in my opinion and is the show that made me absolutely fall in love with the industry. I can sing over 100 of the songs and know most of the actors names and is my absolute addiction. I just think Prince of Tennis is so fun, diverse and it’s so exciting to see all these actors who start in Prince of Tennis grow so much and appear in so many other things

2. Mankai A3

I was so surprised by A3. I didn’t really enjoy the game at first and was so confused as to why it suddenly became so popular. I must admit its popularity was one of the things that held me up watching it until I found I cheap version of Spring and Summer then gave in. I thing watched it every day for a week.This show completely pulled me in with fun songs, a compelling cast of characters and a surprising amount of emotion. (For me who did not play the game, if you did play the game, this would not have been surprising)

The company of actors is split into four groups and I was surprised how individual each group was. My favourite, summer, are the youngest of the company and I absolutely loved their play. 

For anyone trying to get into 2.5d plays, this is probably where I would point them first. It is such a fun play with a perfect blend of comedy, emotion, drama and action

3. Yowamushi pedal

Disclaimer: I have only seen up until the end of Ogoe Yuuki’s run as Onoda.

While I didn’t put Yowamushi Pedal on my top 10 for quality, I don’t think it was ever trying to be a high quality show. The showrunners knew there was no way they could show people cycling on stage in a wholly serious manor if they couldn’t use actual bikes. So, they decided to change the tone of the show, which I think wouldn’t have worked in the anime but works perfectly on stage.

If I ever need cheering up Yowamushi Pedal stage is definitely something I would turn to. Every single show has me crying with laughter and it is amazing to see actors having so much fun on stage.

There are so many hilarious moments but the top two for me is when Izumida’s peck Frank, yes his pecks are anthropomorphised on stage, starts touching the other members of Hakogaku and when they are at Toudou’s inn and their cleaner is Harry Potter and he cocks his broom as fires it like a gun at two actors who are pretending to be ducks. Both make absolutely no sense but are amazing to watch and I don’t think I will ever not laugh while even thinking of them.  

4. Touken Ranbu Musical

It is strange that I cry in every single musical and yet I still have an image of the musicals not being sad. I think they get the perfect blend of emotion and comedy for what they are trying to achieve. The actors, on the whole, portray their characters so well and the live segments may just be pandering to the fangirls, but I am a fangirl/fanboy and I love it. The songs fit so perfectly and I don’t think I’ve ever loved reasonably minor characters as much as I do the humans in Touken Ranbu. I think all their actors are excellent and I am slightly in love with Minamoto no Yoshitsune’s eye makeup.

The thing that sold me the most on this musical however, was none of that. I am studying Japanese and it amazes me how much actual history and Japanese culture I have learnt from these musicals. To the extent of me being able to have a conversation in Japanese about the Minamoto clan with an actual Japanese History Teacher whose favourite period of Japanese history is that period and him complimenting me on my knowledge. 

Touken Ranbu also celebrates Japanese culture so much. The taiko drumming in the live, the actual drinking song included in the show and the time where they put on a festival during a live. I feel like this show is a must see for anyone who likes Japanese culture and Japan would seem to agree with me as it far outranks any other show in the industry for popularity. 

While it doesn’t appeal to me in ways that the three above do I love this musical so much I can’t wait until I can see the next one. 

5. Bakumatsu Rock

I keep on forgetting I’ve seen this show live as I saw it in 2015 which was a while ago and was only the third show I ever saw and I was also sick before it so I was a little delirious. But I still remember the feeling of utter joy I had leaving the theatre with Crash My Head stuck in my...head. The acting is so good, the songs are amazing and the actors look like they’re having such a good time. 

I won’t go into the recast as I already mentioned that in the previous ranking but they didn’t stop me from still enjoying the final two stages. I think it was very sad that the show was so short but I don’t really want to see them bring it back.

I think what we have of the show is perfect and I love it with all m heart.

6. Aoharu Tetsudou

This is a musical I think very few people will have watched. A lot of people like it for the fact it combines a lot of Prince of Tennis actors who haven’t acted with each other in a while but while that is what originally got me into the show it is not at all why I stayed. 

This somewhat factual history of different Japanese train lines is utterly insane with the strangest characters, songs and moments. And has led to some of the strangest conversations with Japanese people who know the train lines well

‘So the Rinkai line is a bit ecchi and stalks the Saikyo line’

‘Oh yeah, that makes perfect sense’

‘??? How can a train line be ecchi?’

Also, this show is unabashedly gay. There is a character who continually asks another character to marry him, three different love songs between three different couples and actual other characters saying that they are gay. While it works in a similar way to Hetalia, if countries get married they are uniting, if trains get married they become one train it is still very gay. There are also multiple instances of characters stripping and cosplaying as women. 

I love this show to bits but if you are not used to Japanese acting or you want to show a musical to someone who is not used to Japanese acting, absolutely do not watch/show this musical. I love the overacting and find it hilarious but this is the most overacting I think I have ever seen in a show ever and while I think it really works for this show it will be pretty jarring if you are not used to it.

7. Hiragana Danshi

This show in my opinion is the most underrated musical in the 2.5d industry, along with Aoharu Tetsudou but even more so. The show is about letters of the Hiragana alphabet but they are more the sounds than the actual hiragana so they represent the katakana and kanji as well. Everything they like has to start with their hiragana and there are so many puns. The cast is hugely popular and talented and each one portrays their character so well. The show is so funny and you absolutely will leave with a favourite character. 

The songs are very clever and, almost, all the actors have very good voices and the songs compliment them well. It’s sad that the show seemed to be such a passion project and was truly beloved by the staff and actors but there were not enough fans to ensure that there could be a second stage. 

8. Bungou Stray Dogs

I don’t have very much to add from my previous comments on this show. It is exceptional as I loved the original anime I was so happy to see such a well done adaptation, that slightly made me realise that I am very attracted to Chuuya. I think this show would also be a very good introduction to 2.5d as it shows off the best aspects of the industry. 

9. Mob Psycho 100

I didn’t originally enjoy the Mob Psycho anime but after I loved the stage I went back and watched the anime again and I loved it. I thought the stage was so funny and I could not think of someone more perfect than Baba Ryoma to play Reigen and I’m so happy that recently Baba Ryoma has been given more chances to play comedic characters which I really think suits him. 

I don’t have very much to say about this play except I loved it and fully recommend it

10. Cells at Work

I have seen both stages as I actually managed to go see the second live last week.

While I do think I preferred the first one overall I did love the second one and I personally think that Kitamura Ryo fits with the image of White blood cell from the anime better. 

The shows manage to be so funny but evoke so much emotion with Yamada James Takeshi’s performance of the cancer cell. I think it is the best acting he has ever done and really wish they had a 2.5d version of the tony’s so he could get an award for his role. 

There is something about them that feels distinctly different from most other 2.5d productions in my opinion and I love it.

[foundcarcosa]

cccxxxii.

Do you want your last ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? >> Phoenix? I mean, I don’t wish ill upon him. He didn’t give me enough of a chance to love him, so I don’t have any stronger desires for him. If you have a smartphone, what’s the last app you downloaded? What about the last app you uninstalled? >> Shazam was the last I downloaded, and Dissidia was the last I uninstalled (it was just taking up too much space). If you were a straight member of the opposite sex, who are some celebrities you think you’d have a thing for? >> I mean, my attraction isn’t gender-locked, so I imagine it’d be the same women I think are cute now. Have you ever dyed your own hair? How did it turn out? >> Yeah. It turned out all right. Right-handed or left-handed? >> Right.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? >> The lock screen is a fan-made Dark Tower movie poster. The home screen is an art of Rustin Cohle that I found on tumblr. (So, basically, my phone is on some real Matthew McConaughey shit. As usual.) Does your first, middle, and last spell something? >> My initials? LFD... Left For Dead? God, I hope not. (Left 4 Dead is a great franchise, though...) Favorite TV channel? >> Hm. What is your least favorite breed of dog? >> Hm. In your opinion, are leggings appropriate to wear as pants? >> Sure, who cares. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? >> No. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? >> Yeah, there’s still some of the Svedka left, and there’s Sparrow’s last spiked Arnold Palmer. The rest of the booze is here in my room with me. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? >> Not unless they’re obnoxious about it. What do you want for your birthday? >> Well, my birthday just passed, so. Who is the most inappropriate person you know? >> Hm. Who in your phone has a heart after their name? >> No one. After breaking up, what’s the worst? >> I don’t know, that depends on the breakup. Do you have a second mom? >> I don’t even have a first. When was the hardest time in your life? What made it so hard & how did you overcome it? >> Hm.

How do you relieve stress? >> Stubbornness. I don’t have many specific coping skills for it. When you die do you want to have a funeral service? Why or why not? >> That’s up to the people responsible for my body after I’ve vacated it. I’m under no illusions that I require a say in what happens. What is your opinion on capital punishment? >> I don’t really care either way. What period of history was your favorite to learn about? If you don’t like history, what is your favorite thing to learn about? >> I’m not sure I have a specific favourite. Obviously ancient Scandinavian history crosses over with other interests of mine, and Hetalia gave me a pretty strong interest in certain aspects of WWII, but mostly I just... like history. Period. Where is your favorite fast food restaurant & what do you order when you go there? >> --- What do you think about smoking in public places? >> I don’t have a blanket opinion about this sort of thing. What’s your favorite cheese? >> Brie, pepper jack, asiago. What’s your favorite type of chocolate? >> Dark chocolate with sea salt and chili peppers. How do you like your steak? >> I don’t. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? >> I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a chance to do that. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. >> Cherry, strawberry, apple, watermelon, pineapple, orange, banana. What is your opinion on “God?” >> That’s far too general a question for me. The word itself isn’t anything particular for me, and as far as my personal beliefs are concerned, I vacillate from panentheistic to polytheistic to both at the same time to neither almost daily. I don’t think specific religious paradigms suit me. As strange as it might sound, I feel much more comfortable believing in all at once. What is your favorite Christmas movie? >> It’s a Wonderful Life. Who are the three most important people in your life? >> Can Calah, Sparrow, Hallie. Why did you go to the doctor the last time you went? >> A checkup. What is your favorite boy band? >> Hm. What is your favorite Beatles song? >> I guess Hey Jude, I don’t know, I don’t really care for the Beatles in general. What is your favorite type of bird? >> Raven...?  What is something you hate, but wish you loved? >> Hmm. If you could profoundly release anxiety’s grip on one area of your life what would it be? >> Death. What’s the cutest thing your SO does, but denies it’s cute in any way? >> I don’t know, they don’t seem to deny anything like this Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? >> No. Does it irritate you when people go on and on about how amazing their boyfriend/girlfriend is? >> No. But, I mean, in a conversational sense, I’d be a little confused at how to proceed. What do I say to that, lmao... If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark color or a light? >> I don’t really have a preference. It’s been a while.

What do you believe in the most? >> Hm. What do you avoid like the plague? >> The plague. Hrnk. What is your main goal of the year? >> Hm. Do you listen to music while you drive? >> --- Waffle cone or bowl? >> Waffle cone, but maybe I should transition to bowls. Cones stress me out. Do you like video games? Why? >> I love them. They’re another form of storytelling, and I just enjoy playing them (the ones I play, I mean. not all video games). Do you take selfies with those animal filters? >> Sometimes. What book will you NOT read? >> IDK. What YouTube channel can you not stand to watch? >> --- Do you like big, normal or small glasses? >> Normal? How do you feel about colored contacts? >> I like them. It’s just difficult to wear them because my eyes are already sensitive. Is pregnancy beautiful? >> In a gruesome sort of way. Do you dance at weddings/parties or are you shy? >> I dance when I feel like dancing. Are you kind to animals at all times? >> Not all the time, no. Have you ever been bitten by an animal really hard? >> No. Do you trust dogs? >> I suppose? I mean, trust them to... do what? Act like themselves? Sure. Do you trust cats? >> See above. What stereotype do you fall into the best? >> I don’t know. Do you have to take stairs or an elevator to get to your house? >> There are two flights of stairs to this apartment. Have you ever seen a pelican in real life? >> I don’t think so. Do you carry pepper spray with you? >> No. Name three sites you have been bullied on. >> I’ve not been bullied on the internet. Yet, I suppose. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. >> No. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? >> No. Have you ever had a emergency surgery? >> No. Do you think your hair looks better natural or dyed? >> It looks fine either way. What’s one thing that makes your stomach hurt? >> Hmm. If you had kids, would you take them to Disney World? >> I don’t know. It seems like such a busy and hectic place. Hell, I’m not even entirely sure I want to go. Like, I do, but also... the sensory overload......... What unnatural hair color looks best on you? >> Hm. What is your least favorite pizza place? >> --- What is the name of your first pet? >> Roxie. What is your favorite fairytale? >> The Snow Queen, probably. Have you ever suffered a fracture? >> No. What countries would you like to visit? >> I don’t feel like making a list, lol. A lot of them. Had a serious surgery? >> No. Gotten stitches? >> Yes. Bitten someone? >> Yes. Would you ever cosplay? >> Sure. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? >> Moderately? I don’t know. Have you ever drank from a real coconut? >> No. Do you have bird feeders hanging up outside? What about any hanging plants? >> No. If you were poor, living on the streets, & had no family to aid you, would you take up a job offer to work in a slaughterhouse? >> In general, I would not work at a slaughterhouse. Too messy for the likes of me. Have you ever had a grandparent come live with you? >> No. Do you keep your fortunes from fortune cookies? >> No. When you walk into your bedroom, is the light switch on the right side or the left side of the door? >> Left side. Who makes the majority of the food for Thanksgiving in your family? >> --- Does your house have a real chimney? >> No. If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? >> Hm. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? >> My father taught me. If you want any tattoos or piercings, what’s next on your list? >> I don’t have a list. Are you good at understanding baby talk? >> No, lol. I don’t bother trying to understand it, I just respond back whatever way comes to me. What was the last movie that you saw in the theaters? >> Infinity War. *grimace* Can you do a hand stand? >> No. If you could, you would go to the moon? >> Sure. Do you like candy canes? >> Some kinds. Have you ever gotten in trouble at school for wearing revealing clothes? >> No. Have you ever seriously thought about getting plastic surgery? >> No. Do you prefer your jeans normal or ripped? >> Either is fine. Have you ever actually woken up screaming because of a nightmare? >> No. Have you watched Breaking Bad? >> No. Have you ever been skating? >> Roller skating, yes. Do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? >> Yeah. Used to do it for fun on Monday nights. I miss Arlene’s... Name four favorite fast food restaurants & what you usually order at each one. >> Hmm. Name four favorite sit down restaurants & what you usually order at each one. >> Hrm. Would you say you’re more close-minded or open-minded? Is there anyone in your family or group of friends you’d consider close-minded? If so, does it ever bother you? >> I’m more open-minded than close-minded, but even I have my limits. I don’t know about anyone else. What is the most fucked up movie you’ve seen? Why? >> Probably A Serbian Film. Why? Because that’s literally the kind of movie it was made to be -- as fucked up as possible. It’s the whole gimmick. When it’s time to dress up for a special occasion, are you more likely to wear a dress, a skirt, or dress pants? >> Hm. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? >> Milk. I like brown sugar and maple. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? >> Uh, I guess. I don’t consider it brave, it’s just fuckin hair. How attractive is a girl is a suit? How attractive is a guy in a dress? >> Both are fine. What does your dad do? >> He’s retired. Are your fingers long, or short? >> Longish. Are you allergic to any dogs? >> No. Have you ever used an epi pen? >> No. What is the meaning of your first name? >> Logan means “little hollow”.

Did you toss your hat in the air at graduation? >> No. Does it usually take you awhile to recover from illnesses? >> No. Would you rather get married outside or inside? >> Er. Do you put your elbows on the table when you eat? Do you think it’s rude? >> I put them on the table if I feel like it. I don’t think it’s rude because I’ve never been given reason to believe in that. Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? >> I don’t know, I guess so? What are your thoughts on mini-skirts or mini-dresses? >> What sort of thoughts am I possibly expected to have?? It’s just fucking clothing oh my god lmao Have you ever died in one of your dreams? >> Yeah, and I got stuck on the Wheel. Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? >> I prefer minty gum. Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? >> Not to my knowledge. What was the mascot at your elementary school? >> Hm. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? >> Love Actually. Have you ever had a significant other NOT believe you when you said “i love you” to them? Why was that? How did you react? >> I don’t think so. Is there a band logo you would get tattooed on yourself? >> The Coheed and Cambria one, probably. If you had a baby, would you want to have it at home or in a hospital? >> In the hospital. Unless they could bring the drugs and machines to me.

What was the last thing you ordered online? >> I don’t recall. What’s your favorite planet? >> Mercury and Saturn.

What are three things that fascinate you? >> Theoretical astrophysics, chaos magic, anthropology. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder? >> No. Do you enjoy doing yoga? >> Not really. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? >> No. Have you ever had fondue? >> No. Have you ever taken photos in a photobooth? >> Once. If you have a dog, do you walk it regularly? >> --- Do porcelain dolls scare you? >> No. Which is worse, Teletubbies or Boohbas? >> Boohbas are the superior ones. Would you ever consider getting a tattoo on the inside of your bottom lip? >> No. Do you like to play air hockey? >> Sometimes. Have you ever been in a castle? >> Bishop’s Castle, which was pretty fuckin cool. Are you a lightweight when it comes to alcohol? >> No. Do you like tacos? >> Sure.  

[purplenickel]

So this turned more into my queer dating history but its fun lol

So I have always been attracted to boys even before I knew that trans was a thing much less that I could transition. I also always admired girls and found ways to rationalize it until like middle school when I became aware of bisexuality where I had so many crushes usually on the mean kids at least the ones that didn’t have like weird shaped heads or watch alarms that went off at weird times during class like why do you need an alarm for 1:27? Youre supposed to be learning basic Spanish do that instead lol An I dated one guy in middle school when I knew I was bisexual and at least a tom boy. And the things I wanted to do to that boy. Like I was kinky as a small child lol like damn you could do a lot more than hold my hand and let me give you innocent little cheek kisses.

We stayed together until freshmen year of high school where I was bored with how slow things were going so I broke up with him. It probably didn’t help that I was starting to question my gender then either.  I told my mom I thought I wanted to be a boy and she shot that down real quick “You’re a girl and cant be a boy” so I ended up trying to cut off all my hair until it was so fucked she had to give me a buzzcut and I ended up looking like a hard core butch lesbian for a semester)

Second boyfriend was this skinny dude like only an inch taller than me and I was 5’3 at the time. I wrote down love song lyrics and gave them to him to ask him out. Im romantic like that lol. We dated for a while and I guess we just grew apart. He wouldn’t do much more than kiss me occasionally and I was like damn yall how do I keep getting these innocent Victorian straight boys. But he was cute and I still see him around town much to my embarrassment. Idk why im embarrassed so much maybe I feel bad that he thought he was dating a girl and im not?

Next boyfriend was a bi emo guy named Justice. I dated him mainly because he was the only bi guy I knew at my school in rural redneck Virginia lol he ended up being really kinky and kinda weirdly intense.  Like the fun part was he didn’t mind that I was all for sitting in the back of the anime club/computer classroom and tryina get down. The weird part was that he had the idea to write Real Person fanfiction staring ourselves as like vampires because he had a major biting kink and was really emo and thought he was goth but rural VA is a hard place to be goth when all your clothes come from walmart. But he was really intense like he had our entire lives planned out in the fanfic and actually went a bought me a ring  , gold with a pearl setting, that I immediately lost because why would you give me a ring??? Nah so I got real disinterested in Justice and planned to break up with him. I actually ended up cheating on him sort of. My class went on a field trip to Jamestown famous school tour site all Virginian probably had to go to. And one of my classmates/kind of friends was this really hot guy with this shaggy blonde hair and this wiry lanky body and was this laid back hot stoner type and I really liked him so I sat next to him on the bus ride and seduced him through out the whole trip until we stopped in this little shopping mall on the way back to school. I was walking around one of the department stores and saw him trying one underwear of all things lol he invited me to help him pick out a new pair of tight good looking underwear and I agreed and slipped into the changing room while he was putting them on and ended up giving him a hand job he was grateful lol. Then we went back to the bus and pretended like nothing happened but there was already a rumor going around the buses that somebody had sex in the store. A few days later Justice actually broke up with me because he felt that I was “acting different” and I probably was simply because I wasn’t attracted to him any more.

Between dating Justice and the next guy I did have my first kiss with a girl! She was so pretty with silky black hair in a bob and dark blue eyes and the palest skin. She dressed in rave clothes all the time and sometimes wore fairy wings and cloaks to school. She was delightfully strange but moved to florida I think but we were saying goodbye by the schools front doors and when it was my turn I gave her a tight hug and she turned her face and gave me a kiss and I was just wow kissing girls is so nice. Speaking of girls, I also had a huge crush on president of the anime club. She was so tall and really thin with a few curves, but she was really confident and funny and just made you feel at ease and I could’ve seen myself dating her easily but she was dating someone else but im pretty sure she might have been bi but she graduated and moved to Washington state to be a masseuse.

Next boyfriend was extremely religious and also wanted to get married. I was against getting married so young, really against converting to southern baptism and definitely against having kids. Pregnancy has always freaked me out mostly because I don’t like pain and don’t want to be in pain and in general everything about reproduction freaks me out idk why. But I really wanted him. He had these nice big and rough hands and was so warm all the time. He was also really sweet. But I broke up with him because I couldn’t do the religious thing It was Too Much™.

After dating him though I had this huge crush on this girl a year younger than me in me creative writing class. She was gothic in a very flowery dark fairy type way and I loved it she was also had a huge gay crush on my female friend who I can confirm is very beautiful with long dyed red hair and olive skin and this soft husky voice that would be perfect for a late night radio talk show where you call in about relationship problems. But anyways the girl I had a crush on was named Sage and she was beautiful  with her long blonde hair and her light green eyes and small everything she was very thin like scarily thin she actually had an eating disorder that we tried to help her with and she could reach her hand behind her ribs and grip the bottom of her ribs it was creepy to look at. She wrote beautiful and dark poems and never seemed to mind that my crush took the form of hugging her and resting against her as often as I could. She never seemed interested in me though I think she was actually fatphobic or maybe she was just femme for femme I dunno but I graduated and nev er saw her again so whatever.

After I graduated high school I decided to go to a traditionally womens college. My roommate was ace and like the first openly ace person I had ever met and she was really cool and introduced me to the idea of being ace but at the time I was decidedly bi and later pan once some more friends introduced me to tumblr and I started openly learning about gender and sexuality. All my friends were really hot that I met at college and I probably would have been down to date any of them except for the girl that I met through the anime club who also really liked the anime Hetalia. We could get together and watch episodes and read a variety of fanfictions ranging from family type things to kinky sex shit we were very close and im sure that a lot of people thought we were dating or at least fooling around together. We actually met each other at a Virginia anime convention where the anime club people went in a group and I went separately with some friends from high school (the best part of the experience was the wafflehouse in the hotel parking lot) but me and my friend got together at the con and went back to my groups hotel room to gush over the merch we had found and watch some anime together. I was in a closet cosplay that consisted of booty shorts and tied button up shirt so I had a lot of skin showing and we were sitting on the bed by ourselves until my friends came back and they all thought we had sex like no she was very attractive and had really nice curves but girl needed to shower more often because unfortunately she had a smell to her that I just didn’t like. I think she was interested in dating me but she ended up having financial problems of some sort and couldn’t come back to school the next year.

After she left school I came out as trans and got closer to the core group of the college anime club. They were all really hot except for the vegetarian one but she had a boyfriend and didn’t seem to like me much anyways so whatever. I also dated this one girl in my graduation class for like three days over the summer but she broke up with me because she was again a southern Baptist and couldn’t honestly date a trans person because it somehow went against god or some shit. That person has since come out as trans masculine. But anyways next person I dated was this smoking hot older girl who only wore skirts. She was southern Baptist and straight but I had to try even if I never got to be anything other than her creepy friend who everybody knew had a crush on her. She surprisingly was interested in dating me so we started going out. We went on dates around town to explore and see new stores and went to the park and shit was great we had kisses and cuddles and fun cute dates and sexy times but we also clashed a lot over mostly miscommunication. It didn’t help that I was on a medicine that once I started taking it regularly like I was supposed to my sex drive dropped to nonexistent. We fought over this a few times but still planned to try to get an apartment off campus the next year. I thought she was being too clingy by texting me pretty often that summer. I was in a bad mood all of that summer though. We broke up and got back together over the phone probably at least three times before deciding to break up for good. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together because when we weren’t fighting we had a lot of fun and I told her things I hadn’t told anybody before, I felt safe.

The next person I dated didn’t go so well. This was a friend from the colleges LARP club that also had people from the community or it was a community club that extended to the college kids and just ended up being held on campus but that’s how we met. She had a very butch androgynous look but I just really liked her personality no matter how hot she looked in her leather jacket. So we started off as LARP friends and then I worked up the nerve to ask for her number and just texted her about random things and we ended up talking about how much we both like coffee so that turned into a coffee date at the local dunkin and it was a lot of fun and we had a few more dates like that and things were looking good. A few friends that knew both of us warned me that she didn’t normally go for men but I had talked to her myself and was like that a lie and you don’t know what youre talking about ok so we hung out for a few months going slow and not really relationship dating. Around the time I was thinking of asking her to be a couple my mental health deteriorated and I ended up being hospitalized. I tried calling her once to keep up the habit of talking at night through text since I couldn’t text at the time but I think me being in the “cr*zy ward” freaked her out because 1) the phone call did not go well and was never tried again and 2) once I got out of the hospital I texted her to see if she was interested in picking up where we left off and she shut me down saying she just wanted to be friends. Of course not even a month later I found out that she and the girl I had dated for over a year were now dating. This bothered me for a long time and I was constantly wondering if I was too cr*zy to date somebody or it was because I was trans a whole bunch of self hatred type thoughts. I eventually got over it (mostly)

Then I didn’t date anybody until last year. I started texting my friend Cat from high school (back then we had a very cute James Potter Severus Snape thing going on where the characters were dating but we weren’t) and I learned that they were agender and ace and I thought it over and determined that I was ridiculously attracted to them and didn’t mind being in a nonsexual relationship because at the time I was still pretty sex repulsed myself besides for reading kinky fanfiction and getting myself off every once in a while. So We went on a friends date in the spring to see Zootopia and it was so much fun and they were so cute in their leggings and hoodie with their windblown cropped hair dyed dark red. I asked them if they wanted to date and they said yes so we went on our first official date (a hike up an abandoned walking trail where we both got covered in ticks and I had to stop and stretch out a bad leg cramp, then we got lunch at a cute vegetarian café in town and went to the town park to hang out. We sat in the grass and listened to Florence and the Machine songs and smiled at each other looking cute. We then got milkshakes and learned that we still had ticks on us from the hick and they took me home and gave me a sweet kiss goodbye with the promise of more dates in the future). Over the summer we hung out a lot because they and their mom were moving from the house they had lived in for years to a house a county over and I volunteered to help with the moving of the last few belongings. Maybe 5 trips all together, but it was a good time every day we got to see each other. We would comfortable hang out in their old house packing things up and taking our time and then we would take the forty five minute drive to the new house listening to whatever queer music we could find and save to playlists.  Then we would cuddle on their couch after taking the days moving things inside and find something nice to eat on the way back to my house. I visited their college a few times (another traditionally women’s college) and met their friends who were also agender and queer and very cute people indeed. I enjoyed all the time I spent with Cat. Cat also helped me realize I was leaning more towards being a demiguy than strictly binary trans and that it was okay if I was ace, that sexuality can be fluid. Our relationship was very intimate and domestic and I loved it, especially the tight hugs and long slow kisses I would get each time we met and each time we had to say goodbye. I fell in love with Cat and because we didn’t see each other all the time and there was no pressure to maintain a sexual relationship I felt I could maintain those feelings I had for cat for a long time. We dated up until August of 2017 when they texted me and let me know they felt they were not only agender and asexual but also felt aromantic and would prefer to be platonic as they couldn’t keep up with the demands of a relationship. This devastated me. I took a week off from school to lie at home and let myself deal with the depression this brought. Im over Cat now. I enjoyed what we had but Im happy being friends though our ideas of friendship are different but that’s another textpost entirely.

I recently went to Charlottesville Pride 2017 with my friends that are the couple where I dated both and now they are happily dating each other and one of their other trans friends and it was so much fun. I think the act of getting a bag of free condoms reawakened my sex drive somehow?? Because now I would totally be down to get sex from anybody I was attracted to?? And im attracted to a lot more people than I usually am?? Like it was my friend Ness’s birthday a few weeks ago and she invited the same trans friend that went to pride with us to come and she brought her cousin with her and damn. Her cousin was the cutest and got so drunk like baby no you gotta stop while its still fun. So he’s agender and gave me his Snapchat and Im just…crushing so hard…hes too cute. But also I’ve been talking to people on OKCupid and everyones just so attractive (not the cismen tho neither the hets or gays wanna hit it so fuck em I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life) and all these tumblr people are cute and I wanna date everybody but everybody live like at least three hours away and it makes me sad because nobody seems to wanna try a long distance type thing which I would be up for.

So tl;dr:  if youre reading this and you think im cute, message me and ill tell you what all we could do together  ;)

Im a biromantic greyace chubby transmasculine enby and i like all body types and most personality types lol

[constupidity]

Why I hate hetalia so much

So the people in question are Elli and Zoey. Neither are their real names. Elli is my best friend since I moved to the states for School, Zoey is pretty much a ticking time bomb.

The three of us WERE all roommates (Elli and I finally moved out!) and we were all into cosplaying. Zoey did a lot of anime and manga cosplay (Elli and I were in Love Live Hell for the last couple weeks) while Elli and I did mostly video game and Movie cosplays. Our next con was AnimeNEXT and Elli and I would room together while Zoey roomed with her friends.

Zoey thought it would be a good idea to make a “Historically accurate FemKorea” cosplay from the series Hetalia a few weeks before con. Did absolutely no research, thought any asian culture would be okay to throw onto the costume, completely shut down my thoughts and ideas for it and shouted at me “well its not like YOU’RE gonna wear this!”. Which was true, but as a first generation Korean American who is seeing her culture ripped to shreds all for the sake of a convention, yeah I would say it is my business.

Zoey finally caved and had me help her, I even showed her MY hanboks (traditional Korean Dresses) to get some sort of idea on what could be done. Then about  couple days before we all left for AnimeNEXT, I noticed the 3 garment bags that held my hanboks were missing. I asked my roommates and they both said no. I should have gone with my gut feeling but I was so panicked that I couldn’t think straight because those hanboks had a LOT of sentimental value to them and they were one of a kind! Elli convinced me we would look for them after the con.

Saturday of Con, we found them.

At the Hetalia shoot we saw Zoey wearing my cream and fuchsia hanbok incorrectly and disrespectfully with red dots on her cheeks and Chun Li styled hair buns and chopsticks in her hair and flapping around a Japanese style fan acting as if she was the greatest cosplayer here.

Now im furious. I pulled her aside from the shoot and demanded them back. Other Hetalia cosplayers were yelling at me to leave her alone but FUCK THEM.

I fucking had her take us to her hotel room to get the hanbok off her greasy ass and thats when I see them. Two very familiar garment bags. Zoey kept freaking out that those were hers even though the bags have my initials on them IN KOREAN. And there they were!

One Navy blue and gold hanbok with a Star and Moon motif and one Lavender and Lilac purple hanbok with a butterfly motif to it. The very same ones that went missing from my closet.

Remember how I said that the hanboks had a lot of sentimental value to them and how they were one of a kind?

Both my late grandparents made a living by sewing hanboks for both men and women. They were also the ones who raised me since I was a baby. They MADE the three hanboks for me as gifts: the Butterfly one was a High School Graduation Gift, the Stars and Moon one was a farewell gift, and the Cream and Fuchsia one was for my up and coming Coming of Age gift (I’m currently 19). It really hit me hard to see the dresses go missing because they passed away about 4 months ago but I couldn’t be there because of school.

She stole my possessions just to play dress up for a day and did it so poorly that I’m 100% sure my grandparents are rolling in their graves! Pretty damn sure they’re STILL rolling in their graves!

At this point I go off on her! Spit is flying, She’s crying as if she’s the victim, You could hear me scream down the fucking hall, her roommates are trying to make it seem as if it was my fault, etc etc. She ONLY gave them back after I threatened to call the cops and have her charged with theft. and that really freaked her out because I guess she “Can’t go back to jail”. So for the rest of the con, I was hobbled up in our bathroom TRYING to clean the makeup, grease, sweat, general filth off my hanboks. What a way to spend a convention weekend!