#And The Sad Part Is Theyre Shit At the Community Running Part. Or They Have WAY Too Strict/Confusing Rules

[authoralexharvey]

Ngl the reason I don't join more writeblr discords is—well, firstly, I'm already in enough of them—but more importantly, because people get inflated egos over being mods way, way too often. And for no real good reason, either, given they're shit moderators. And I don't have enough energy in me to constantly parse out whether a mod is on an ego trip anymore tbh.

[spacedlexi]

Have you read the new clementine book? I'd like to hear your thoughts on it :D

i hate being reminded that it even exists 😭 out of grim curiosity i usually check to see whats going on at each release but its just..........................................its just so bad...............................................................................................

like its so out of character that i cant consider it canon even if i wanted to......... and its so BORING too!!! its so lame...........its So lame...

it doesnt make me sad anymore at least it just makes me laugh now (especially now after book 2) but like....darkly...just like... Oof...... oof......... but yeah the way clem is written specifically is actually laughable im sorry but that really is tangerine

i hate when characters get reverted just to retell the same story. like its doubly insulting. and its pretty much what tillie did with clem. and its BORING!!! and i just have to reiterate again that its also laughable. its just....painful honestly 💀 the plot is boring the characters are boring clem is a mess and her pre-existing (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT) relationships to characters from the game are basically non-existent. and we're not having any INTERESTING discussions!!! what are the themes what are the messages what is tillie trying to say here? im getting a big load of reused character arcs and what feels new falls flat on its face. clem isnt even a shadow of her former self shes a different character entirely. and she is crying waaaay too much. shes got the anger of S3 clem and not even a Fraction of the emotional regulation S1 clem had. and she was 8 then....

and her naming her prosthetic 'kenny' is fucking stupid

ive seen some people say that it would actually be an interesting comic if clem was removed from the story but i dont agree. its fucking lame and boring. i love the zombie setting for the stories it allows a writer to tell. for the emphasis on character it allows. and this is probably the most boring piece of zombie related media ive ever laid my eyes on. this definitely feels like it was written by a romance writer trying to figure out how the zombie setting Works as a storytelling device. with a beloved preexisting character that theyre Also trying to find the voice of. and we're watching it in real time. and its Painful.....

S4 will Always be the True end to clementines story. its too perfect. and it also marked the end of telltale. it was a love letter to the series. its very fitting for both clem as a character but also as a last goodbye from a beloved studio. the still not bitten teams signatures on the hallway walls always gets a sob outta me. that final goodbye... clem was meant to spend the rest of her days at ericsons with the community she helped cultivate. ive said it a million times but her losing her leg is Symbolic. the first episode isnt titled "done running" for no reason. clem never Liked being on the road. all she ever wanted was a safe place to call home. with people she trusted and loved. and now the comics are retconning all of that just to retell the same story but Badly. why should i give a shit about that?

whats unfortunate is that i DO think there are still things that could be explored with a post S4 clem. shes got what she wanted: a home. (relative) safety. community. however she has new limitations due to her injury. how would she adjust to this? after spending so many years on the road? after having to do so much independently? only having herself to rely on for the most part? these are the goals im trying to achieve with my own short little fic (that ive been working on for too long):

she would never Want to leave ericsons. home is what shes been looking for since S1. but now that shes Safe. now that she can turn off survival mode a little bit and actually Relax for once. shes going to begin Processing EVERYTHING shes been through up until this point. the true healing starts Now. but she cant run from it. so how would she reconcile these things? the whole point of ericsons was that they were a community of traumatized kids who found love and support in each other when they had nothing else. aj says it himself (S4 is Very clear in its messaging). THAT is the perfect setting for clem to ALSO have this grieving/acceptance process that she Desperately needs. everything shes been through up until this point is going to hit her like a truck. the true healing starts NOW. shes no longer fighting for her life 25/8. and when the brain can get out of survival mode it begins True processing mode.

one of the issues with the comics is that it puts her BACK into survival mode. but of clems own choosing! no matter how much her processing hurts and no matter how much she could want to run from those feelings, she has always wanted True Community more than Anything. having to reconcile those feelings is interesting! i Do think tillie is trying to have some of these conversations. but they all fall flat. her understanding of clem as a character is weak. and the environment shes in is not conducive to the healing process she wants clem to have. its a mess. i will always stand firmly in the camp that these comics should have taken place in the gap between seasons 3 and 4. that change alone wouldve boosted the comic. but unfortunately they chose.....This

anyway. back to my own post S4 adventures :)

[away-ward]

Hello, I was unsatisifed with a lot of background things happening in DN and the way PD wrote them, and here are the two main things i wanna share with you: pregnancies and worldbuilding (?).

Tbh, i was a bit sad, angry and pissed off with the way PD handled pregnancies in the DN series. For a series that's so "forward", "not following the crowd", and "make rules for themselves", these characters are all always so stuck in the past even when they shouldve already moved past THAT past. EVERY DAMN COUPLE had to have children, and somehow, outsiders' opinions of their relationships, even after getting together, still mattered a LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH. Understandable that some opinions could affect them because how could they not, no matter how much they wanna say they wanna do whatever they want, they still live in a society, and that society is the highly judgemental, political, and corrupted town, Thunder Bay. Considering that they still have feelings and could be affected by hate comments etc., they just cannot always act like it didnt affect them, like the way rika thought michael would leave her because she couldnt get pregnant and how that also relates to her "worth" as a woman, especially in a heavily judgemental society like TB, where even when a lot of them wre "progressive", a big part of the community were still holding up to traditional values of what women are, should be, should do etc. They're not living in some wonderland or some shit like that, ok fine, BUT what i dont understand is how these opinions wouldve affected them so much even after getting together for YEARS, and even worse, they just never really communicate about them, butthen they fight, fuck, and just got over it as if every thing is fine all over again. So whats the point of that dramatic infertility announcement in conclave then? Stupidity!

Every time we got something good for the characters' progression, PD always had to ruin it by regressing the progress of their characters, and worse, these characters don't even talk about what they want or expect from each other in their relationship. Not one, even KaiBanks, the seemingly "most mature" couple in thes series. The immaturity of these couple were on another level! This was one of the aspects of DN that unsatisfied me the most. I HATED how reductive PD made pregnancies and child planning look in DamonWinter's story. Like they have a litter of children, while being emotionally, mentally and financially irresponsible adult themselves, and ijust couldnt enjoy any kind of child-related things in this series honestly. Not even WillEmmy! Why cant we just have couple who take their times to get to know each, settle down everything first, then be fucking mature adults and plan their future together? This "reckless live to the fullest" sounds so bonkers, because it doesnt involve the horsemens and their wives anymore, theyre bringing their kinds, who are INNOCENTS (!) into this world and lifestyle without thinking about it further. The only person who had put a thought (even a little bit) towards this issue was Will and that says a lot because he wasnt even always sober before Nightfall! It was clear even when he wanted Emmy in his life, and his implied thought rpocess of taking revenge on her, that he couldnt just force her to live his lifestyle, or even bear his kids, because it's not just gonna be Willemmy anymore, it's now WillEmmy + their kids + their nephews and nieces + the others now. Everyone's live couldve been on danger and some innocent couldve suffered. Because of this, I feel like DamonWinter are just so immature and selfish as a couple and parents because its always about what THEY want, but not what the CHILD needed (before winter got pregnant), like they never really thought things through in a longer run, and feeling everything and having fun, is all they cared about at the moment. Damon never really thought about building skills and get a job like a mature responsible adult and partner until Winter reminded him, and im just so done! I love that that Damon's hater ask pointed out his incompetency because i so agree with them, and i think this is one of the aspect of his (and others') incompetency. They just think like children, and they do not have the maturity of a grown adult who has to work with others around them, it's insufferable! On the other hand, i also think thats why each of them were writter so diffrent yet similar with one another because they needed this balance. Not evryone has to be the same, as an individual, they had their weaknesses, but as a family, theyre perfect for each other.

As for my other own personal in depth unsatisfying feeling about the pregnancy aspect of this series, i just cannot stand to read rika's big ass meltdown about her infertility in conclave, and this does not come from a place of lack empathy about her situation, rather it's because of the way PD wrote it. In fact, i was FUCKING LIVID with the way PD was so quick to just label Rika as the one who was infertile, when there were no medical checkups done on Michael, as if the responsibility or for a lack of a better term, "fault" for infertilities all lies on the shoulder of the women-here, and it's Rika. Sure, her period cycle was fucked yada yada yada, but from the start, i always read it with an implication that it's rika who had to deal with all that pain and shame, and this is definitely a heavy blame on the writer because PD couldve literally balance it out with michael's possibility of being the one who was infertile instead, or made rika said something to michael about doing body checks or checkups as a married couple, but PD. NEVER. DID. God! This was why that whole infertile thing was so infuriating to me. Also, If PD already knew that rika was already handling with so much responsibilities with people around her, why on earth would they put more stress on rika's shoulder? Rika was in college (probably full time and on her last year, yeah), so she probably had a lot of things to prepare for, then she had the fane empire business to take care of, the mayor election campaign, being an NBA's star's partner making time in her pact schedule for michael (she's probably gonna have to be dealing with a lot of press not just for her main job, but also for this NBA thingy too), travelling from one place to another for college and business, oh and she's a fencer, works at the dojo, a local town campaigner, a sister who checks up on everyone etc. so why the hell would preganancy at the age of 22, mind you, would be so important when she already had so much on her plate, and she hasnt even reached her mid-twenties yet? It's FOMO, but the way PD wrote it made it felt so weird to me, and it shows rika's immaturity (understandably so) of dealing with sensitive issues that a lot of women around the world had to go through, instead of a woman who we could sympathise or empathise with for going through all of this at 22. And that's the thing, Rika was already dealing with a lot, didnt even really talk to michael because she was worried for his career (but she could talk to KAI OF ALL PEOPLE and damon? Huh?), and now PD just had to put some unnecesaary implied cheating drama and stupid plot about infertility here? For what? For the drama? The infertility conversation didnt get solved with sensitivity or further couple planning, it just went over their head, and suddenly, OF FUCKING COURSE RIKA HAD A MIRACLE BABY BEFORE SHE TURN 33, OMG SHOCKING!!! I'm so tired reading these books with suden pregnancy tropes, because a lot of authors just cant write this trope very well, so it always comes off immature, romanticised and insensitive to others. Some people dont even enjoy reading this trope for whatever reason that is, so this plotline just ruins their story further. I just can't stand the silly logistics of it all. Like Miss Girl, you're 22, sit down! Rika couldve used that time to built her skills to be a good aunt, a competent political debater, a businesswoman AND a politician so that she could be an amazing women figure in their family for herself and others, and then run the Fane empire and the mayor thing slowly so we can see her like Banks' short scene in nightfall's epilogues dealing with some political stuff, but noooo, it all just happen at once and we're supposed to but that? Like she doesnt even have the BASIC SKILLS to run a town, why dont PD start from there first? I think if she was given more trainings and drills, she can make a great politician in the future, but unfortunately, we never got to see that.

And that's the thing, even if rika IS the town's sweetheart, what kind of town, with the majority of people there being people with high profiles, political connections and corruptions, would just listen to this 22 year old girl preaching about "kindness" when all she did, was just being family to a bunch of similarly privileged new adult pranksters with a history of crimes and "not fitting in" with the rest of the crowd? Do they not understand how political agenda or advertising work? Thats not how politics and organised systems work! If i was a resident in Thunder Bay, rich as fuck i couldve bought almost anything in this world like (Gabriel Torrance), i would not even pay a single mind to rika or the horsemen, in fact, i would usurp her position and gang up with some other locals in town, just for fun, to piss the them off. Like What happens to voting systems? It just doesnt make sense. They treated the town's safety and mechanisms like it's a child's play and not some serious and dangerous political business that requires working with so many people from so many different industries so that a town could work fine. Every time rika opened her mouth to talk to her workers or people in conclave, i swear i throwed up a bit in my mouth because of how cringy it was. That Ninja comment by Damon was even cringier. If PD wanted to convince us with this IT Thunder Bay couple of the successful Michael, the NBA player and the own sweetheart Rika, the TB Mayor + business owners couple bullshit, they gotta make it make sense you know. I GAGGED when they threw that engagement party in kill switch, then damon dissed them thinking "what the fuck is this all" because that was the first time ever that i agreed with damon lmao! It's really not on rika at this point, i noticed, PD was just always shit at writing logistics, because they're a very idealist writer. As long their idea works, nothing else matter and that's why, all these important logistics seem to fly out the window in their every. damn. book. in this series. And somehow they always got their redemption arcs and turned out to be Mary Sues and Gary Stus by PD, even Damon! Oh, please! Anyway, I just know by now that if i wanna enjoy PD's books (aside from birthday girl), i gotta turn off my thinking hat so that it wouldnt ruin my fun of reading their books. (Don't even get me started with Alex's jobs because aside from MichaelRika, Alex's was the most unbelievable among them all, but one thing i liked about her story was that she was childless, like YESSS GIVE US SOME RICH SUCCESSFUL AUNT CHARACTERS yk). PD did a great job at the fall away series, the hellbent series, and birthday girl's worldbuildings though, so maybe they should just stick to writing about middle class suburban characters who just mind their own business, and not high profile people who's about to rule the world.

What do you think about this? Or have this part of DN series never really interest you much?

Hellllloooo! I’m laughing because you said “background things” so I was expecting things that happened in the background plots but then you listed worldbuilding, which to me is pretty significant. I don’t know why, but that got a chuckle.

I mean, to start with, I think I agree with you on most of your points. For me personally, this is not a series that’s meant to be dissected and analyzed to the degree at which we’re doing it. Once you start pulling at strings, it all comes crashing down. Our MCs are all “morally gray” but for the “right reasons”. They always get what they want and always come out on top. When I go into their world, I try to turn off my head and just have fun. I find that’s when I enjoy it the most.

But yeah. I’ve thought out it in terms of “what in the world is this. This wouldn’t work.” and I've ranted about it plenty too.

Re: the pregnancy the issues you brought up - I also didn’t like that everyone had kids at the end. I didn’t take issue with the lack of planning, but that could just be me. I also didn’t mind that none of them chose to remain childless. I feel that most people grow up knowing they’re going to be parents, or at least get to that point in early adulthood. It’s not so much a question of if, but more of when and who with? And I think the latter is the most important question to answer. I’m happier knowing that these people had already committed to each other before having children.

I was upset because CC introduced the idea that Rika and Michael couldn’t have children of their own. I was intrigued with the idea that this couple, the first couple we followed, wasn’t going to get everything they wanted. So much as worked out for them, but this big thing…that’s being withheld? I was intrigued with where this was going to go. I would have been super happy if M&R had committed to the idea of being childless and focused on other aspects of their very full lives (as you brought out) and then Aaron came along. I would have even been happy if, after Rika voiced her concern, Michael calmed the situation down and reassured her in some way. His immediate reaction seemed to confirm the reasons why she didn’t tell him in the first place, not to mention his reaction to her confiding in Kai (are you not all family? Doesn’t she get to have as strong a bond with him, as with any of the others? Why does he get all your suspicion? It’s hardly fair.). But if he said he didn’t care about any of that, he just wanted her and their lives, whatever came at them without going to the other extreme first, then I could have dealt with them adopting. I didn’t like how Athos came into their lives though; just so perfectly plopped into their laps.

Basically, I wanted to see Rika and Michael struggle. Or know that they struggled and got through it together, before getting everything they wanted. But it was all handed to them and that made me mad. It also upset me that it felt like the message was “a child will fix a marriage” or “children are needed for a happy family”. There didn’t seem to be any creative thought for what a family could look like.

I personally didn’t have a problem with Damon having a big family. Honestly, that makes the most sense to me. Though at the end, with Emmy, it did feel like a rush to fit all of the couples having at least one child, but then that also kind of makes sense. Will was 27 by the time Indie was born. He’s not a young parent by any means, and all his friends already had children. If he wanted his kids to grow up with them, then he didn’t have time to wait. I also think when you consider the age gaps with Kai and Banks kid’s (11 and 5) and Will and Emmy’s kids (9, 5, and a mystery but still young), then they probably did some planning. And they probably didn’t have to do as much planning as you’d think. They’re financially secure and own their company. Money isn’t an issue for them. They live in a small town and their kids will go to private school, so picking a good neighborhood isn’t necessary. They live around extended family and have hired help, so who’s going to watch the kids in case of an emergency is settled. The only thing they’d really have to think about is raising children, knowing the kind of enemies they’re going to have, but there’s always risks to anything involving children, so it’s either do or don’t. What I liked was that they were committed to being parents. It didn’t just happen and now they have a kid they didn’t want or an unexpected, unhappy accident. That would have been sad.

I mean, I agree that they should have thought it through before becoming parents – it seemed for the narrative that Banks and Winter were sort of…surprised to be pregnant? Like they didn’t think it could happen or was going to? (And wasn’t Winter also on birth control when she became pregnant with their second? Or am I making things up again??) But who knows, maybe they did discuss it and we didn’t get that part of the story.

None of the guys thought about getting jobs; privilege gives you that kind of freedom. Michael only wanted to be a pro-athlete. The others didn’t even know what they wanted to go to school for. Kai figured it out in prison when he had no choice, Damon thought he was going to inherit his father’s empire, and Will probably thought he was going to work for his grandfather in some capacity. Or travel until he couldn’t anymore. All of them were immature.

I thought Rika said she went to the doctors, but I could be wrong. Not picking up CC for that. Anyway, I didn’t pick up on Rika accepting the blame of infertility. I think society places a lot of responsibility on the woman to bear children, so it didn’t strike me as odd that she would assume she was the problem. This is probably something a lot of women go through and might have felt relatable to some readers. And I have no desire to be a parent, so the level at which she was distraught over telling Michael didn’t hit with me, but I assume for someone who does want to be a parent, Rika’s reaction and handling of the situation might also be relatable. No idea. And when people are so wrapped up in their emotions, their reactions to things aren’t always right. I just know how I would have liked the situation to be responded to when emotions calm down, and I didn’t get that. So ...

Rika and Michael’s communication and trust issues, especially around Kai, are one of the issues I brought out in another ask. They really need to get those sorted out; it was getting ridiculous.

Overall, the first time I read CC, I got the impression that the infertility issues might have been something PD brought in from their real-life experiences. Maybe not them personally, but someone they knew, served as the inspiration (But that is just a guess and I have no way of knowing. I could be completely off). And then at the end, they wanted Rika to have a child, so we got Athos. Later, it all works out for them and Rika gets to experience pregnancy, so we get Aaron.

It’s one of those things that yeah… it can happen in real life. But should it happen in this story? Does it add or take away something? I felt this plot point took away something from the story.

As far as Rika becoming mayor, this point had me scratching my head and laughing because yeah…she was still in college, or recently graduated, and she has all those other responsibilities on her plate. I mean, I don’t really care about her age. I’d look to Parks and Recreation, because wasn’t Ben mayor of his town at like…18 or somethin? But then he was bad at it because of inexperience. So yeah, Rika becoming mayor and then being good at it felt like overkill, for reasons you said: other members of community, more mature and experienced members, would be going that position of power, and also, she would be inexperienced in that sort of leadership role.

Which is why I always assumed she got the position through intimidation. Specifically through the Torrance’s name. Say what you’d like about Damon, I wouldn’t want him breaking into my house to “earn” my vote for Ms Fane. And let’s not get started on Bank’s taking control of Gabriel’s empire. Banks and Damon totally got anyone who challenged Rika to back down, and then pushed her into position so that they could all control the town and do what they wanted.

So Rika standing there and gaslighting herself “we’re not really criminals” is hilarious to me. Yes. Yes, you are. You are a criminal. You will be a corrupt mayor. Just because it’s “for the good of the town” and not just yourself doesn’t mean what you’re doing isn’t shady and corrupt. But sure, keep lying to yourself.

I don’t remember the Ninja comment but I’m sure it was cringe and I’m choosing to forget it.

But like I said, this series was just supposed to be fun. We’re not meant to think deeply and make sense of it. Just turn off your brain and enjoy the ride. Anything more than that, and starts to fall apart.

[irregulardiaryposts]

01:37 16/02/2023

Well... its obvs been a while since i updated huh. reading back on some of those .. some of its nice ig and some of it is quite articulate but looking back on some of it with my perspective now, idk its sad but also a little cringe lol. but thats the point of a diary to keep it cringe and truthful to how im feeling in the moment. well anyway

its 2023 woooo im in my second year of uni and things are pretty okay i guess. im still a litlte lonely dont get me wrong but im sure things will get better. um. ive got an essay due at midnight on the 16th (technically today) and im like a third through it? but the first 1/3 is the easiest part cos its just explaining the concepts. anyway im behind on a lot of uni work. for no reason. at all. like theres no good reason behind it other than i need medicated i guess. maybe i really should get meds im an adult now so im hoping they can. its genuinely really affecting my uni performance i cant get out of bed most days during the winter cos its so so cold. why is the world so so cold. my feet are also so so cold. can you tell im procrastinating :P unis still lonely but also i barely go anyway so what would i know anyway. i got some hobbies i guess. anime has revived my want for a tumblr blog so in november i made a new blog for anime ToT. its fun tho i really do enjoy it its so fun and silly and i can be as insane as i want to over fictional characters. better than twitter by a mile cos well yeah. it has also reignited my want to make art, cos then i can post it and other people who are also insane about the same characters can enjoy it too. even if its kinda bad idgaf. the whole 'oh shit two cakes' meme constantly runs through my head.

ahh anyway i also like playing video games too, or ig the difference is i have the money to buy them and a decent laptop to run them on. so that helps fill the void of community im missing. i really miss people. and im a huge introvert for the most part (unless im drunk but shhhh) but i miss not being in my room 24/7. i guess the theme of this update is i need meds ToT. not that it will necessarily be a perfect solution sometimes theyre not but ig it doesnt hurt to talk to a doctor about it. that depends on if i can actually get an appt ahhhhh. i dont have too much to talk about ig just that im alive and barely staying afloat but not actively suicidal so *thumbs up*. i really do need to write this essay i would dislike to get an extension because then i would just put it off again until next week lol. im such a good procrastinator :D this definitely isnt detrimental to my non-existent work ethic.

maybe i can talk about something thats itching at me from my philosophy course. my essay isnt exactly on this topic but i rlly wanna formulate some thoughts on it lol.

so we're talking about what exists in the world right? things people would easily say exist are things like tables, chairs, frogs, dogs, atoms and molecules. things that are a little harder to figure out if they exist are things like love, morality, goodness, numbers, gender. the lists are not exhaustive but that kind of thing. and there's this concept of Ordinary Objects(OO) and Extraordinary Objects(EO). the first list has almost all OO, which are defined as being highly visible objects right before our eyes (that do not escape our notice). the atoms and molecules make things tricky in philosophy as nothing can ever, ever, be simple in this subject. anyway. EO are objects that are also highly visible objects that do escape our notice. you're thinking how can an object, a physical object, that is so obviously in front of us, escape our notice??? well you're not alone in thinking philosophy just makes up things along with justifications of said things just for shits and giggles, and calls it a day, cos that's exactly what i thought when i heard this the first time. and genuinely so much of philosophy is just postulating and theorising about this thing and that thing but its done with such earnestness and sincerity that i get endeared by these stupid dead guys. ANYWAY. the existence of EO are obviously controversial (of course) and even OO are argued too. but yes what are EO exactly? the example given in the reading was a Trog - an object that is composed of a dog and a tree trunk. no, they are not connected in any way, and no they don't even have to be near each other but they can compose this object called a Trog. this is what you can call an EO. it is highly visible (assuming the dog isn't microscopic and the tree is not invisible) and it is right before our eyes yet we never notice it. well of course, who would? but the question is do EO really exist or is it a baseless theory. well...

another example of an

[yb-cringe]

I need to know your twins theory because I will take anything over "it was Alinar and Connel" because even if it works that theory denies me the joy of having CHILDHOOD XORNOTH N SCOTT so pls - ender

OH BOY OH BOY DO I HAVE THE THEORY FOR YOU-

If you’ve ever gone through my art and seen that ‘when i dont remember you’ xornoth and scott comic, thats what inspired it. Also just a lot of my Brain thinking ‘yes… yes… high fantasy…’

This is a Long Boy so settle down

/rp

Basically, xornoth n scott are born, yeah? Twin brothers, born same day that Alinar dies, the royal family already has an idea that maybe these two are the one the prophecy is talking about (the champion of aeor coming when the world needs them most etc etc)

however they dont know who is who (hair color is the same, they act the same, both sweet kids, its hard to tell who would be) until they reach like a certain age when a Prophet comes by and tells the parents ‘yeah this is the exor and aeor champion brothers, and specifically this one is of aeor i can tell’ and like IMMEDIATELY- JUST IMMEDIATELY the bias is clear.

Xornoth gets thrown out of shit, no one wants to hang out with him, he’s called a traitor, they’re basically treated like shit because they’re fated to be the end of the world. Meanwhile Scott’s a sweet wholesome boy who doesnt understand why everyone hates his brother so they stick up for one another, both very very determined to break this fated curse to kill the other bc they dont Want to.

But of course, Xornoth’s got some issues with the fact scott is treated a lot better than he is and he never… Stops resenting him for that. Fast forward a few years and they learn that there’s a plan to execute xornoth before he can do any more damage, they dont know more than that. Xornoth freaks out, begs his brother not to kill him, and instead they decide “fuck it, we’re running away from all of this. we refuse to become that destiny” bc theyre twins and twins are Like That sometimes.

They escape, huzzah, but are eventually found again and their parents decide ‘i mean, we might as well do it now bc we cant risk losing xornoth again and risk the world’ so they chain em up and the second part of the plan that they DIDNT know was that it HAS to be scott who kills him, which means they’re shoving a sword into scotts hands and saying ‘either do this or be the reason our people suffer’.

He obviously says NO but his hesitation and the sight of xornoth’s Only Friend and Brother hesitating and Thinking about killing him is enough to send him over the edge and the weeks of him resisting Exor’s pull suddenly cracks like a floodgate at the injustice of it all and Xornoth destroys EVERYTHING. Scott’s trying to calm him down and do it nonviolently but xornoth isnt listening but he refuses to hurt them.

Ayo cue Aeor realizing if he doesnt step in his champion and everything is going to die in exor/xornoth’s path so he basically Hops Into Control for a brief bit to basically ward off xornoth and they run away into the forest, mortally injured. And when Aeor leaves, Scott realizes yeah he might’ve just fucking killed his sibling and done the one thing he promised, he SWORE, not to do.

Aeor, recognizing this sad bitch energy, cant exactly communicate that xornoth is alive but knows if scott keeps fuckin grieving like this, he’ll never continue (i mean the guy lost his home, his parents, and his twin in one fell swoop and blames himself for it) so aeor does what aeor does best and wipes scott’s memory of the whole thing, so that he doesnt even remember having a twin in the first place.

He ends up waking and never questioning it, kinda foggy with magic memory shit, and just. Rebuilds the nation and it’s people. It’s why Xornoth stares at him when they meet again bc they can’t fathom ever seeing their twin brother again, not only that; but a twin brother who doesnt even know they exist.

Thats why xornoth has such baggage, thats why he wants vengence, thats why he’s a corrupted manipulative piece of shit, because he was essentially bullied into becoming the villain they expected him to be. Sort of that familiar ‘i wouldnt have been evil if you motherfuckers knew about human decency’ shit.

Anyway thats the theory! More like an AU at this point i just get very excited about it haha

[jonathanssweatercollection]

i’m literally so unwell. it’s almost 6 am. here are my st livewatch thoughts:

THEY PLAYED CALIFORNIA DREAMIN FOR THE CALI GANG’S INTRODUCTION. I LOVE BEING RIGHT

eddie munson i desire you carnally

why is murray such a whore this season. i’m not judging i’m just curious

that’s it i need that stupid grandfather clock. i need it

why the fuck do the munson’s have so many hats on their wall

jonathan “good boy” byers

SO TRUE ARGYLE HE’S SUCH A GOOD BOY

“hi murray :D” jonathan byers i would kill for you

i’m gonna eat enzo’s little bitchboy moustache

robin and nancy are literally two halves of a whole autism

nancy makin fun of robin’s running. my smile hurts

THE RUNNING UP THAT HILL SCENE MADE ME FUCKING SOB LIKE A BABY. I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA DIE. MAX MAYFIELD I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU

what the FUCK is brenner wearing. what the FUCK

his suit is so fruity i love it

i’m gonna throw up i’m gonna kill everyone that even looks at el what the fuck. i’m gonna chew brenner’s toupee off

NANCY MAX BONDING NANCY MAX BESTIES NANCY MAX INTERACTION

CAN EL CATCH A MOTHERFUCKING BREAK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK. I’M GOING TO KILL

SAM OWENS I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU HOW DARE YOU

jamie campbell-bower u are so creepy and hot <33

argyle and jonathan deserve to kiss. just a little kiss it won’t hurt anyone

omg okay byeler bonding and saying deep shit together on top of a car, paralleling jonathan and nancy doin the same in s2. so very true besties

omg no hopper can’t be blaming himself for sarah’s death. noooo sad little bald man :(

can yuri like die already lol

murray canonically beat the shit out of a teenager. obsessed with this man

stranger things more like trauma things amirite haha. i’m in pain

are these idiots not even going to change out of their funeral attire. theyre gonna get their clothes dirty

dustin u are so annoying <3 said with love and affection

YES YES STONCY CRUMBS THANK GOD I HAVE SOME SUBSTANCE

steve babygirl you are SOOOOOOO stupid i love you

kate bush the true hero of stranger things

okay in the creel house scenes sometimes max’s collar is up and then it’s down in the very next shot. poor direction on the duffers’ part. 0/5 stars /j

i’m so glad that brett gelman gets to throw his whole gelussy into his performance this season. literally good for him

how dare brenner boop el’s nose. i’m going to throw a fit

omg steve looks so good in that mustard sweatshirt. im so fucking gay

this mormon house is literally my worst fucking nightmare

THEY MENTIONED KALI. THEY SHOWED US BABY KALI AGAIN

LUMAX STAN ROBIN REAL

let me guess the lab’s freaky orderly is 001. if i’m wrong i’ll be upset

“what’s the internet” “don’t worry about it” best interaction of the season

“your compass has gone from wonky to wonky with a capital waoaiauh”

steve babygirl please don’t drown

FUCK nancy’s awesome fit has just been ruined i’m so fucking upset. my girl looked so good

SCRATCH THAT SHE LOOKS BETTER LIKE A FERAL WET CAT BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF DEMOBATS

owens and brenner are so divorced

el deserves to get her powers back tenfold and kill brenner in every horrific and painful way possible. like as a treat

NANCY BANDAGING STEVE’S WOUNDS AND ASKING IF ITS TOO TIGHT PARALLELING HER BANDAGING JONATHAN’S CIT HAND IN SEASON ONE. STONCY REAL I’M TELLING YOU STONCY REAL

nancy wheeler has guns. in her bedroom

are hopper and enzo gonna fuck. and then is enzo gonna die

ugh they better not keep harping on about steve getting back together w nancy if theyre not gonna make stoncy happen. i’ll throw up if they just revert back on themselves and make steve/nance happen again and just shit on jonathan’s character

WAIT THE FLASHCARDS FROM SEASON ONE. WAIT WAIT THE GOOFY PLUSHY WAIT I CAN’T COPE WITH THESE CALLBACKS I’M GONNA BE SICK

what the fuck i can’t believe the time travel theories were kind of right

omg are they finally gonna explain how will communicated in s1 when he was in the upside down omg this shit RULES

oh god the “hi” scene is gonna kill me

can officer callahan like die already i fuckin hate that guy lol. and the irony of him doing a carrie reference by calling the kids “little pigs” isn’t lost on me

ARE. ARE THEY SERIOUSLY IN A BOILER ROOM. THESE FUCKERS LOVE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET SO MUCH

i fucking CALLED it i KNEW the creepy orderly was 001 i fucking KNEW IT

NANCY NO NO NO NO NANCY WHAT THE FUCK NANCY BABY NO WHAT THE FUCK NANCY NO NO WHAT NO BABY WHAT THE FUCK NO I’M GONNA FUCKING THROW UP PLEASE GOD NO NO WHAT THE FUCK NO NO PLEASE NO NANCY BABY IF THEY KILL MY GIRL I WILL BE OUT FOR BLOOD

wait omg omg what wait. jamie cambell bower is also the freaky creel kid

NOOOOOOO POOR BUNNY NOOOOOO POOR LITTLE BABY BUNNY RABBIT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

omg brenner’s brown wig is so fuckin stupid looking

omg theyre literally doing revenge of the sith. that’s LITERALLY what they’re doing

lol the cgi. bestie no

THAT’S IT ???????????????

[dvlboy]

himbo top s/o x mondo

headcannons 

I do plan on posting a thingy where anons can ask questions about me just so that we get to know eachother a bit more hehe

tw: NSFW corruption, size kink, dumbification, degrading later in chapter

you first met mondo through The Crazy Diamonds

your brother joined the gang, and you being the nosey little shit you were decided to follow him and see where your big brother went, so you tagged along a few blocks behind after seeing him sneak out after dark

OH BOY you were never caught so fast and scared so shittily in your life lmao

SFW

scary men on bikes = danger

Thats when you met mondo, who was thrown with you seeing that the two of you were the same age

It was kind of awkward in the beginning, the two of you had nothing in common but when you clicked YOU CLICKED

you were young n clueless so you kind of just followed your brother and him around, happy and not a thought in your mind

one day you didn’t show up, and stopped showing up after that

turns out your parents heard you leave and thought they were getting robbed, when they found out they panicked and forbid you from coming

your brother went anyways lol, he kept the gang updated on their little brother :’)

mondo was quite sad because he missed you and could only hear you from another person :(

the next time that you two met was in Hope’s Peak. When you walked through that door mondo was shocked

you looked like God took some clay and slapped you with it. how one person could get beefier and taller then he was, was above his head

you looked really excited to meet everyone, but mondo could tell from the way you looked at him showed that you didnt recognize him :(

you kind of flocked between people before locking eyes with him

you thought you knew him but you didnt?? what?? before you could say anything the teacher came in and started :(

but after class, the first thing you did was flock over to him and poke him. 

He was kind of annoyed but his soul almost flew out of his body to see someone giant staring down at him

The two of you had to have a few conversations before it finally clicked that you DID know him. man did you stick to him like glue after that.

mondo sometimes gets a bit insecure because you cant catch a hint at all, and he wonders why you choose to stick to him when your entire class loves you

it does make him smug that no one unwanted interrupts him because his status as a gang leader scares everyone off

doesnt work on his close friends they watched him fall down stairs

anyways you really enjoy bein with other people

carrying chihiro on your back? chucking baseballs as hard as you can to leon and watching him gulp in fear? yes

but in all honesty, you like (most) of your class, and it shows because you would be the person to help them with anything

youre the person that waits for them to finish tying their shoelaces before walking with them so theyre obviously VERY protective

DATING

you make the first move and show up to his dorm with flowers and blankets n movies

mans is sputtering and is flustered all over but he does enjoy getting coddled

he enjoys having someone else take care of him but sometimes you need to get a hint

youre a dumbass and it really shows

when you tell the class they were very sweet but did let mondo know that if he hurts you his pompadour will just be pom.

despite being a sweetie, when people first meet you they are very scared

so when you get with a gang leader on the same level of beefyness and scariness its terrifying

when he gets into fights he will 100% say “oh yea? here comes my boyfriend, the one that can easily rip out your spine >:)”

sometimes fails as you come walking in with a tiny cactus in a pot, with a massive grin on your face

he really enjoys when you lean your head on his lap

he really is whipped for you and would  really do anything

which leads to really fun dates because you two are just “head empty, fun with lover”

and do stupidly cute shit

you two would go on a date day and just run through all he things you both wanna do

cat cafe, arcade, beach, checking up on the gang in like 6 hours its like a speedrun like me trying to post this before it gathers too much attention cause its unfinished and i messed up

he stumbled in on you trying to convince terteru to help you learn to make one of mondos favourite desserts 

it was so funny because youre all pouty and begging to get help from a gross slime child whos like up to your kneecaps LOL

he managed to hear the explanation as to why you were begging and he had to walk away or else his blush wouldn’t go down

loves pda

sits on your lap, pushes you against the wall and kisses you, holds hands with you, and sometimes gives you a little love bite on the neck during lunch 

really likes cuddling between your chest but not in school 

Also really loves when you brush his wet hair and play with it

its a very fun relationship to witness, with two himbos in love 

NSFW

mondo is a power bottom. I will not be taking any feedback no sir 

despite you being physically much larger in all aspects, youre his little toy to play with

you knew very little about sex with a male before you met him. he is smug that hes the one to take you.

it may be your very large cock going up his ass, but hes the one in charge.

he loves giving oral, and likes the feeling of his throat bulging to make room for your large size

has a thing for facials, and likes the feeling of your warm cum on him

his favourite positions are ones where he has control

cowboy, reverse cow boy, along those lines yeah

for part of his birthday gift you agreed to let him use your body and to try out bondage

you got handcuffed to your bed as he milked you dry with his mouth and ass

he is a very handsy person, and an incredibly loud moaner

you actually enjoy when he rides you because sometimes you get scared that you’re hurting him so you want him to be comfortable

his favourite thing to do is to bury his face inbetween the crevice of your neck, and hearing your deep grunts in his ear

his hands either wrap around your neck, or he uses them to fondle and play with your pecs

mondo can go 2/3 rounds, and each time he tries something different

when he gets horny he gets what he wants, you guys have messed around in parks, behind food stands and in school

he will whisper in your ear about 

he likes to put his hands over his stomach and feel the flesh make way for your girth, and he finds it incredibly hot to find a bulge the shape of your cock

he can’t help how sensitive he is, and after the first round he finds it hard to communicate, with him just becoming a babbling mess that sloppily rides up and down your body.

once pleasure rots both of your minds and you can’t think properly, if you lovingly call him your dirty little slut, or your cum whore and tell him to let you take control, he will whine and slop over, giving you access to him.

you dont want to hurt him, but sometimes your mind gets a bit too hazy, and the next thing you know hes pressed against a wall, and you’re grabbing his hair or neck as you plow him, his moans echoing 

you find it cute when you whisper about how he corrupted you, how he’s the reason why you’re acting like an animal, or how he’s the reason why you’re always horny because you can’t get enough and he needs to take responsibility especially because his grunts and moans get louder and he clenches around you

when he cums, he cums alot. most of the time its over your chest or on the wall

either way, he loves the duality between the man in the streets and the beast in the sheets, sometimes he wonders how you can be the same person

just dont forget to give him aftercare, lotion his body and cuddle him after

tag list: @kenniethedumbass

[crobby]

while the spn hate blog is hilarious to me it's also kind of sad how some of these are adults and theyre shitting on people. i can get behind it if the person they're talking about is actually problematic and has done screwed up stuff but if you just don't like the blog literally unfollow them it's not hard. sorry you got hate crobby :(

thanks nonnie. if i'm being honest, i'm genuinely pretty upset by what happened today! not about the hate i received (it didn't bug me, i don't care what some anonymous asshole has to say), but about what it means in general. not to get ~earnest~ on supernatural tumblr in 2021 but it's kind of really awful how people just tore each other apart today! i'm disappointed in the people who run those blogs and every single person who decided to say something nasty about someone else. the callouts are different but the hate sobsicles got? sickening! they're just out here writing their wonderful little stories and sharing them with us for free and all these abhorrent dickwads sitting behind their computer screens are sending ask after ask saying how much they suck! that's not okay! it's upsetting that i'm somehow part of an internet community so chock full of hate. can we not exist without drama? do we need to be tearing each others' heads off to have a good time? it's deactivation inspiration that's for damn sure

[kyovtani]

the ✨vibes✨ i get from the stans:

— karasuno edition —

aoba johsai | nekoma/fukurodani | inarizaki | others (itachiyama, date tech etc.)

Hi, everyone!! After doing a few of these I decided to put it into a whole ass post so here are the vibes I get from each stan <33 These are my personal opinions and are based on stans ive met and talked to/interacted with so they might not be the most accurate to some of you !! Hope you guys enjoy them; all the love. zade

(a/n: i decided to split them bc otherwise it would have gotten too long !!)

⊹ Ukai Keishin: either dark dark and or pastel aesthetic, movie nights and sloppy make out sessions, heavy daddy issues!! have had a crush on one of their male (history) teachers, carry the burden of commitment issues AND fear of rejection in their chests, wanna be called a whore by one (1) person but start crying when someone raises their voice at them

⊹ Sawamura Daichi: soft soft soft !! still cry bc of S2 E16, big brains, calming aesthetics, bratty or crybaby subs who only want to have their guts rearranged, either constantly horny or sad :( crave validation and have the heaviest praise kink hihi <3 deffo some parental issues too (kinda both but daddy leaning)

⊹ Sugawara Kōshi: warm personalities, give you a feeling of home whenever they talk to you!! praise and corruption kinks <33 iced lattes and late night convos; a thing for pretty boys with pretty hands !! choking kink and body image issues <33 kin him because they’ve been replaced by someone before and feel his pain when giving his setter spot to kags, would lit fight the world for him

⊹ Azumane Asahi: smiley babes; sweet personalities, keyboard smashes and lots of sories and pink emojis <3 intense fear of failure and being a disappointment, people pleaser in desperate need for reasons to do certain things, mommy and trust issues, either horny 24/7 or not horny at ALL

⊹ Ryūnoske Tanaka: used to read a shit ton of bad boy fics in hs, listen to music like The Neighborhood or The 1975, deffo had a 5SOS phase at some point, the happy ones in their friend group but actually the most depressed, constant feeling of not being enough and needing to prove themselves to others, want him to be more appreciated and probably have a thing for saeko too <33 bondage and pet play, in need of a service dom, praise kink (giving and receiving), toxic household </3

⊹ Chikara Ennoshita: soft aesthetics, love making playlists, heavy parental issues (esp. daddy), service subs, scared of authority, crybabies :( flowers, washi tapes, aesthetically pleasing journals and problem with hyperfixation <33 daddy kinks, degradation, mean doms!! get off on the fact that he’s a physical therapist bye

⊹ Yū Nishinoya: can’t sit still, perfectionists, thing for the pretty boys, he was their fave from the beginning and throughout four seasons that hasn’t changed, probably just as horny as he is, hopeless romantics, roses and sunflowers, pastel colors and lots of hair dye <33 mental breakdowns at 3am, cut their own hair at least once during quarantine and had the blonde front pieces for a long time </3 mommy kinks, switchiest switches, parental issues and probably with their siblings too, fear of being loved and loving someone else bc of their trust issues

⊹ Shoyo Hinata: watch the show for the actual protagonist, soft natures, mother-like personalities, love hard, forget even harder; really really hard on themselves, perfectionist, always try their hardest, crave validation and praise, want to be the best at everything, lowkey know it alls with good intentions, parental issues and coffee dates, caffeine addicts with pretty handwritings; daydreamers!! deffo had a 1D phase ain HS <3 sweet scented candles, vanilla sex with lots of love confessions and praise or hard dom enthusiast with heavy degradation kinks, or both

⊹ Tobio Kageyama: chains and flowers, dyed front pieces and a thing for the quiet boys, socially anxious, heavy fear of failure; soft pastel colors with daddy issues and praise kinks or all black everything, mommy issues and dominant personalities, no in between; exhibtionism, had a rebellious phase as a teenager, struggle to show emotions and empathy, but theyre trying <33 impreg and lactation kinks !!

⊹ Kei Tsukishima: either love or hate him; have a thing for the meanies with glasses, soft natures, motherly auras, caring personalities !! heavy heavy daddy issues, either want him to praise or degrade the shit out of them, deffo into choking or bondage, used to hate watching porn but are now running porn blogs, LGBTQ+ community, iced americanos, energy drinks, museum dates !! bratty babies or subby subs, but no matter what they are they wanna see him in a maid dress

⊹ Tadashi Yamaguchi: soft babies !! chains and chokers, part of the lgbtq+ community, kinky sweethearts with hand kinks !! lots of jewelry and dyed hair, pink emojis and hearts everywhere, round glasses, journals, some kind of content creators <3 parental issues, fear of rejection and failure, social anxiety, sweet sweet sweet introverts, teacher’s favorite !! spit kink, degradation and praise, role- and petplay !!

[hello-yue-here]

i would like to hear about your play

THANK YOU!

okay so i decided to write an adaptation of the myth of orion and artemis in which they are besties and artemis is aroace and orion is a gay man. BUT GUESS WHAT FUCKERS. IT TAKES PLACE IN THE WILD WEST. THATS RIGHT ARTEMIS IS A BOUNTY HUNTER BABY AND SO IS ORION.

to preface, the myth goes like this:

artemis is the greatest hunter ever. orion is the most sought after man in greece. shes a virgin goddess who has never and will never love anyone romantically and she is perfectly happy that way. orion is a gay man. they meet on a hunt and artemis is glad to have someone worthy to hunt with her because orion is great at it and she likes that he has never tried to make a move on her and they become rlly good friends. he doesnt know shes artemis. she reveals that shes the goddess and orion is MORTIFIED. artemis is like no idc were friends we can stay friends. anyways they hunt and at night they usually fall asleep around a fire anf one night apollo sees them and gets the wrong idea™️. backtrack: apollo and orion lowkey got a thaaang goin on. apollo gets healous, doesnt allow orion to explain, and lies to artemis about one of her priestesses being attacked. he says that the guy is trying to escape the island by swimming away and points out a tiny black speck on the water. artemis hits the speck and kills the man. TRUTH TIME. no one was attacked. apollo sent a scorpion to kill orion and orion swam out to see to escape it and apollo lied to artemis causing her to kill her best friend. she then makes him into a constellation on one sode of the sky and turns the scorpion into one of the other side, as far away in the sky from orion as possible. the end. thats it thats the myth its rlly sad but i think its got so much potential to be a good play so BAM i did it.

the main themes of the show are

-exclusionists have no place in the lgbtq+ community (apollo is a gay man who does not accept artemis being aroace and then he is eventually forced by artemis to leave town)

-romantic love is not the only form of love and is jot the only way for people to achieve happiness. aroace people shouldnt have to feel like theyre life isnt meaningful or complete if they dont have romance. honestly no one should have to feel like the end all be all in life is romance if thats not what brings them true happiness but i think society places too much importance on that. im gonna enphasize in this play that there are many ways to find true happiness!

-aroace people ARE capable of love (heyo familial and platonic love!)

-artemis and orion are the best best friends to ever best friend

when i was given this assignment i used it as a chance to learn more ab aromanticism and asexuality because ive been trying to figure out if i fit into those labels at all (still working on that but im def on the aroace spectrum i believe) and while i was doing research and atuff i found a lot of hate towards aroaces and a lot of it even came from within yhe lgbtq+ community so yk what? im gonna write my play ab how aroaces are a welcome part of thel lgbtq plus community. i also want everyone to he a cowboy.

so yep! thats the play! artemis also runs a safe house in the west for members of the lgbtq+ community anf while apollo does love his sister he does not accept the fact that shes aroace so hes the exculsionist in the lgbtq community and the people of the safehouse (based on artemis priestesses in greek mythology) represent the lgbtq+ community that is for EVERYONE. artemis and apollos relationships is supposed to represent familial love. artemis and orions friendship is platonic love. and apollo and orions relationship is romantic love (until things go south cuz if yk the myth well,,, you know that apollo fucks shit up for orion…)

anyways my professor said she loved it and said she hopes i continue writing this and i was like HOLY SHIT SOMEONE WHOS AN EXPERT IN THIS FIELD LIKED MY PLAY so yeah maybe i will continue to write this

obviously im still learning ab exlusionist and aromaticism and asexuality but were all learning !! and this i think this is gonna be a good way to help motivate me to learn even more :D

[jrueships]

ok so about ur kawhi/pg fic..... spill 😳

WOW IF IT ISNT MY FIRST ANON ASK A N D IT'S ABOUT MY PLANNED PG/KAWHI FIC! WHAT A TOTAL SURPRISE! I AM IN SHOCK.

Jwbdisbdjd OKAY let me just start off with a quick INFO. It's gonna be long I lied. WARNING 18+ TOPICS DISCUSSED

OKAY so the fic is taking SUPER long to write because I am NOT a horny fic writer guy! I usually stick in the G fics! But porn with feelings has me by the THROAT bro it's the way some intimate words can only be spurned through intimate actions... the complex feelings and different opinions and UGHH kawhi is just a BIG words thru actions guy AND SO IS PAUL kinda!! BUT ANYWAYS... HERES THE SFW PLOT EXPLANATION SO FAR. B U T if you want just the NSFW deets... scroll down for the emojis!!! It's very long...

So it's post clippers playoff loss but like POSTPOST and basically Paul finds out Lou Will got traded and pat bev blames Paul being awful during the playoffs for it. The encounter happens while Lou, Pat Bev, Paul, and Mann were all gambling in Vegas. Theres a whole thing where Paul was trying to teach Mann how to gamble by just telling him "do what I do." AKA bet on me. After pat bev yells at Paul and Lou has to calm the situation over, Mann loses the game AKA he betted on Paul and lost.

The whole situation makes Paul feels guilty but he's still too stuck in his zero accountability to admit it. He goes home and just plays video games to take the stress off. He tries to make excuses that try to avoid blaming/acknowledging his performance, 'The kind of Basketball theyre playing isn't just a fun sport. It's a Business. It's not his fault business happened.' So he's just blocking everything out.

But then Kawhi walks in.

They don't say anything. Kawhi just sits on the couch with him while he games. Every now and then, he'd scoot a little closer. Until he's close enough where he sets his hand down in the space between them and waits. Paul finally speaks and it's basically just a bunch of excuses tumbling out until he runs out and ends up on the verge of admitting that He (paul) messed up (the whole time he's talking, as his frustrations rise into actual anger with himself, he's exerting more and more pressure on his gaming controller). When his anger reaches its peak and almost reveals itself, he stops himself by almost breaking his controller. And he starts shaking. So he takes Kawhi's hand.

And that let's Kawhi know it's okay to touch him now. And, gentle as a light breeze, he does. He asks if he can, and when paul nods, he does. It starts as a kiss that gets deeper until paul ends up laid against the couch with kawhi on top of him.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

OKAY so. They both want this. But for different reasons and that's gonna clash.

PAUL wants to have sex so they can both let out their frustrations. He THINKS kawhi hates him and can't wait to trade him BECAUSE kawhi gambled on him and LOST so if he let's kawhi vent that anger of losing on him.. MAYBE.. maybe kawhi will stay next season and forgive him. He desperately thinks that MAYBE that's the only way kawhi CAN ever Possibly forgive him. Because Paul can't Say sorry, can't be emotionally vulnerable like that, so he'll just say it with his body and be PHYSICALLY vulnerable FOR kawhi as a twisted form of saying sorry. And a part of Paul WANTS kawhi to vent out all his anger on him during it too. A part of him, that won't ever admit it, internally believes he deserves some sort of punishment for his performance. And what better way than thru hatesex RIGHT??

But KAWHI wants to be gentle. He wants to be slow. He wants to be careful. He doesn't hate Paul because kawhi ALSO blames himself. But he's ALSO too scared to admit it. But he DOES feel bad as well. Paul took most of the backlash from the media. Kawhi Didn't. So kawhi wants to make Paul feel good. Let Paul know that kawhi is someone he can love and trust and that Kawhi is still Strong and dependable, despite his bad season. He wants Paul to say he loves him and that he feels supported and safe.

So there's a big clash between Paul wanting Kawhi to be quick and rough with the sex and Kawhi wanting Paul to slow down and not get hurt. Two stubborn prides trying to both give the other what they THINK they want.

After a kiss, Paul REALLY starts it off by trying to give kawhi a blow job, but A. Paul has never given blowjobs before and B. Kawhi is Big.

So he chokes and gags and still tries to force it down his throat because kawhi DESERVES it. It's the only thing Paul can do for kawhi at this point.

But, kawhi is concerned because OFC HE IS!!! DONT PUSH UR LIMITS WHEN HAVING SEX!!! And he pulls paul off. Paul panics Internally bcus he's like "man not only do I suck at basketball but I also suck at giving head wtf guess stripping is out of my future careers after the nba" and he really REALLY doesn't want to disappoint kawhi anymore than he already did. But paul doesn't SAY that. Doesn't COMMUNICATE that. It's a conflict that they can't solve because they don't know WHATS the problem.

So they cut off the blowjob really quick. Paul is laid out on the couch, on his front because it's the better position for first timers according to kawhis research, and waiting for kawhi to finger him. And kawhi DOES. For a LONG fucking time. It's a good time. Like the BEST. He's very sweet and sensual with it. Wants to make sure nothing hurts paul when he puts It in eventually.

But the whole time paul is kind of fighting that because he keeps thinking "how is kawhi finding any enjoyment in this at All. I mean *I* am but like.. kawhi is the one doing all the work and for what pleasure?? He just has his stupid fingers up my ass?? This is stupid and dumb and not how I thought it was gonna be for him and I don't DESERVE to be the one pleasured."

So he keeps trying to buck back, get his fingers in deeper. And Kawhi has to keep him still, once again making paul worry that he's a horrible partner who's not pleasuring kawhi at all.

Eventually the conflicting actions with unspoken words is too much and they halt the sex and paul cries because he thinks he's awful at it and it was so bad they had to stop because of him. And it's very sad and shit so they finally have a heart to heart where they actually TALK about their feelings. They both soothe each other's worries and exchange praises and EVENTUALLY they end up fucking (face to face, paul IS on his back). Paul cries because it's good and slow but this time he KNOWS it's okay to take it good and slow because kawhi gets pleasure in HIM getting pleasured and YEAH.... it's SOFT SWEET AND SLOW SEX!!!!!! I don't wanna say TOO much about the ending but YEAH man was I waiting to infodump about this shit THANK U anon who I totally did not set up into asking me this 😎👍

[darkelite020]

Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 12

Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb

- So I sort of expected it by the end of last episode but it seems like last episode was a start of an episode arc about hera's family, which, for rebel's fans I'm sure it's cool and exciting and maybe answers some questions or will actually show things discussed in rebels maybe, but as someone who hasn't seen rebels yet, I really hope this episode and the next few have more bad batch screentime, cause we were a little robbed last episode lol (but in a way I do still enjoy this stuff too, because im sure when I DO watch rebels it'll make the experience better). -- I'm not disliking this arc or anything, but up to this point we've kind of had almost mandalorian style 'one episode one adventure' sorts of episodes, and personally I really hope we get more of that (which I think we will), because while this is all new content and everything, we all have to admit clone wars had some less interesting filler arcs here and there, and I just hope bb doesn't fall the same way (across all of its seasons, im not very concerned about it so far from what we've seen of season 1) because if there is filler, I'd rather sit through a couple of the one episode stories, rather than a 3-4 episode story that takes nearly a month to get through if im disliking it, mostly for the fact that even if we got those 1 ep fillers, its more stories and more likely I'd like at least one. ---kinda rambling about this unnecessarily atm cause while again right now I think bb is fine, I just want the future to be that way too. - fffff every time I see howzer on screen I think of that fucking audio thats "here comes the boy, hello boy~" and honestly can you blame me he is so precious like ugh I swear dave you better be nice to him -- YOU CAN TELL HE FEELS SO BAD AND GUILTY LIKE IT HURTS - hey admiral can you not be MEAN to howzer when he is trying to be fucking helpful -- ;-; BRO im saying it so much already but I feel so bad for howzer like dude someone help him --- imo it feels like its sort of setting up howzer for something more important in the show kinda, at least for his character. Like we can clearly tell he doesn't really agree with the empire and I think they're going to do something with that. He's probably undercover for someone against the empire but I get the bad feeling they're gonna pull a Fives and have him go against the empire and help everyone else somehow but then he will probably end up dead because we cant have nice things. - hello cross... bet you wont be saved this episode - Ok good, some more bad batch here already. -- ALSO GONKY BEING DEFECTIVE!!!! EVEN GONKY IS DEFECTIVE LIKE BB THATS SO CUTE! - uh, im not the only one getting the leia transmission vibes from hera, right? -- ok, again I haven't seen rebels so I dont know BUT if hera has the ability to talk to bb, couldn't she have done so in rebels? Yeah she's older and im sure better at fighting and defending herself and all that, but wouldn't it still be possible for her to have gotten in some kind of rough situation in Rebels to ask for bb's help again? I super doubt bb made any appearance of any kind in Rebels, so doesn't that imply that she lost communications with them? What happens to bad batch >> - bad batch not wanting to help but because omega really wants to you can see its making hunter soften up and I appreciate it - bruh what??? Taa is dead af, like theres no way the show is gonna pull some magic and be like 'oh yep here he is' thing??? Like this has to be a lie, but even then, what even is the plan here?? Saying "oh hes recovering" well he can't be recovering forever, how does that seem like a good plan to lie about that?? People are gonna find out?? - "Great just what we need" from Wrecker about crosshair MAKES ME ANGRY LIKE??? YES?? DONT BE MAD AT HIM ITS NOT HIS FAULT??? SAVE YOUR FUCKING BOY??? -- oooo then the rest of bb doesn't comment about it literally gsjrkgbdkfbg why do they not care about him???? Like it seems they legitimately dont care about crosshair, even though theyve been together for so long like even before the show came out they

had history together and were all really close. I know people argue "oh well its just difficult to save him and its unrealistic for them right now" but so what? Even if they aren't trying to save him they should at least CARE about him. --- Which is also like the thing with echo and fives!!!! Like Echo didn't seem to care much at all when Rex mentioned fives even a little! Or even about seeing Rex that much!! Dave I'm gonna need some answers my guy, cause you humanized these characters but then you dont make them act that way so like whats up. - Lucky hunters abilities came in handy - Back to crosshair for a second im predicting they 100% arent saving him this season. There was a poster released part way through the season and he's not even on it... makes me so sad. - "I'd do the same for you." ;-; that didnt need to get that deep - CROSSHAIR BETTER NOT START SHIT WITH HOWZER - Howzer helping Hera's parents or at least implying that is good but that also means im right so far and therefore worried >> -- HES GOING TO GET FUCKING CAUGHT I BET TALKING TO THEM LIKE THIS AT SOME POINT AND HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET ITS GONNA BE CROSSHAIR THAT CATCHES HIM --- Cham stfu its literally so obvious that howzer is trying to be genuine, also if he's kind of undercover for him like what the fuck do you expect howzer to do if he has to play along with the empire to keep his cover?? "Won't make that mistake again" Fuck off like honestly. ---- #stopbeingmeantohowzer2021 - "A little help" and the gentle "Hey" ahh love it - I'm really enjoying this whole them fighting in the ships sequence - "Stay here and guard the capitol" SCARES ME -- Please for the love of god bad batch don't get howzer killed --- or plot B Bad batch maybe run into howzer but save him and take him with you at least temporarily ---- oh god.... bb is helping heras parents escape and that means howzers gonna get in trouble.../probably replaced by crosshair - Crosshair is smart but thats also badddd - The scene of howzer and crosshair looking at each other is killing meeeeeeeee - Ohhh is howzer gonna stop them before they go out the door? -- YES HE IS SEE WHAT A GOOD BOY HE IS - (please fucking listen to him I beg) - Aw dude I just had a thought that breaks my heart... howzer cares about his squad and "trying to get through to them" but what if his squad is clones as well and the chips... that hurts me so badly... -- Like we all know howzer is a sweet boy by now but ughhh like the thought that he doesnt want to leave them even though they are doing whats wrong shows just how much he cares and I really hope he doesn't get into trouble because of what he's saying to them, but you know he totally would do it because he seems to care about them so much and :( bad batch more like sad batch --- This is the kind of compassion I wanted from bb for crosshair hunter kind of looks back at howzer as they leave him and I doubt itll mean anything but I really hope that maybe seeing how much howzer cares will make hunter care a little too... - *sigh* howzer is getting left behind by them which we know why but yeah... now he's definitely going to be in trouble... I just hope they don't hurt him... - OH GOD HOWZER BABY DONT -- He's making a speech and I know he's trying to sway them but you know damn well this is gonna go so badly for him because of the chips and crosshair is watching so you know howzer is gonna get fucked here and I know what hes trying for but I really wish he didnt just do that because now its blatantly obvious he's gonna be against them ;-; - Wow ok im kinda shocked people are siding with him (I guess cause theyre not all clones right) but I feel so bad for themmmmm - Crosshair missed multiple shots? Uh what? I didnt think that was possible lol - bb please come back for howzer and the others at some point.... -- I guess maybe if hera's parents are going to organize rebels against the empire maybe they will help them but I somewhat doubt it... - Ok I know that crosshair requesting to hunt them was supposed to be this big moment and all but I

can't help but feel like its a little underwhelming (but dont get me wrong still cool vibes) because he's kind of already been doing that anyway?? Or has tried to several times?? So I don't get why its a big deal, however, I do have a possible prediction: We know that bb got their chips removed, (crosshair doesn't, I know that) and so that eliminates the idea that they will get caught and actually go bad like crosshair, but it does leave a possibility where maybe they get captured and then *pretend* to be bad? And that could lead to a better possibility of helping crosshair (they wont) or maybe howzer and the other rebels or something? Cause I also feel like its significant that they brought up how the war will eventually come to them and bb will be a part of it no matter what eventually, and it makes obvious sense theyd be on the rebels side of it, so maybe something like that goes on, idk.

[thesaunatest]

MY HUGE THEORY ON EL’S PLOTLINE IN S4

before you guys even start, YES I know that 99.9% of what I say is going to be wrong but this is literally just for fun.

its march 1986, middle of the school year and el HATES school

when we left her she was barely literate and had just started getting accostomed to speaking full sentences, NOWHERE NEAR a 9th grade level, so shes struggling in her classes to say the least

on top of that, she barely knows how to socialize with other people, so shes evidently getting picked on

with joyce and jonathan both working to keep the family afloat, will and el get left alone alot

but outside of the party, they socially have nothing in common

in fact, will is adapting to the new town a whole lot better than el. he fit right in with all the creative kids he met in class, but el didnt mesh with that crowd

anyway, our girl is sturggling

the only time she really has fun is when she visits hawkins, or when someone from the party visits them

which leads us to spring break

mike obviously comes to visit, and el doesnt want them to waste a single second so she begs mike and will to come explore the town with her

at this point joyce is already in her detective mode, hatching a rescue plan for hopper so she doesnt notice theyre gone

and jonathan is battling the heartbreak of nancy ghosting him when she was supposed to come visit

so the trio goes off on an adventure without anyone noticing.......... or so they think

because brenner is back, and he knows el is with the byers, but he cant go and snatch her because he doesnt have the resources all the way in california

in fact, he doesnt have the resources at all. his numbers experiment is seen as a catastrophic failure that lead to the deaths of hundreds of lab employees

the only way for him to redeem himself in the community, and gain his funding back is to present his peers with proof that the project can work, so he needs to get one of his numbers back

el is the only one he can track down, but he doesnt think he can do it himself. if she saw him, she could just kill him with her powers, he assumes because he doesnt know she lost them

so who does he employ to get el back to hawkins? lonnie byers

its almost too easy. it doesnt take much to bribe lonnie, and hey, its not like its his kid. so lonnie accepts the bribe, and goes all the way out to california to find el

he shows up at the byers house..... only to find it completely deserted. so he waits

and the trio finds him there after their day out (why are you here? what do you want? where are mom and jonathan?)

and lonnie, being as crafty as he is, comes up with a good excuse on the fly (hes craftier than i am because i genuinely have no idea what he would say)

anyway, he gets them in his car and on their way back to hawkins

jonathan shows up after theyve already left, and is too stoned tired to think anything of the empty house

and joyce is already halfway to russia

will knows his father. he knows that his father doesnt give a shit about him, the family, or anything about hawkins. he knows that his father wouldnt get involved in anything unless he had something to gain. so hes wraking his brain

maybe.... lonnie pulls over to take a suspicious phone call? maybe will figures out an inconsistency in his story? either way, the gang is onto lonnie and figures that they gotta get away from him and get back to joyce and jonathan

they tuck and roll out of the car. idk. all that matters is that they get out of there

as theyre rolling out of the car, el bonks her head a little and has a quick flashback to her time in the lab

since her intuition is always spot on, she takes this as a cue the breener is back and lonnie is working for him

she tells the boys it isnt safe to go back to california or hawkins, so they come up w an alternative plan, somewhere neither brenner nor lonnie would think to look for them

and while theyre on the road, they stop at a diner to eat (dont ask me where they got the money) and we get will leaving an emotional voicemail home, probably sobbing to jonathan about how much he means to will, which gives el an idea

because who has the resources to help her, as well as a desire for vengeance on brenner? kali

el uses her superb hitchiking skills to get them to chicago

maybe she just has some hints of her powers left, but it isnt too hard for el to find kali

she explains everything thats happened, and lets kali know that if she want revenge, the opportunity is hers

unfortunately, lonnie was hot on their trail, and called for reinforcements

theyre ambushed by the few employees brenner has working for him. initially, everyone is hiding, assisted by kali’s powers

but el knows they arent leaving empty handed, and would rather get taken away then have kali’s freedom taken from her

so el reveals herself, followed by mike because he wont leave her, followed by will because he wont leave mike

all three get taken away, back to hawkins lab, but now kali is even more motivated to bring down the lab once and for all

so kali and her gang get to hawkins, almost simultaniously with jonathan, who has been looking for his family in a frenzy since the morning he woke up to find eveyone gone, without even a note or a phone call, as well as argyle, who came along for the ride

the video store is being used as home base this season, so thats the first place they go, where they find steve, shortstaffed and not knowing whats going on because the whole team ditched him

they catch him up to speed on how EVERYONES GONE and steve catches them up to speed on how EVERYONE IS GETTING MURDERED

meanwhile, brenner has three predicaments

1) no matter what he does to el, what kind of torture he inflicts, she isnt using her powers because she doesnt have them. she tells him this several times. he refuses to believe it

2) lonnie byers is demanding his payment, which he didnt recieve because the deal was that he bring el to them, and he couldnt even do that

3) he has to find a way to dispose of mike and will, who he had no intention of bringing into the lab but theyre here and they know everything

and this is the moment where mike screws up by letting them know that people know theyre in the lab and people know about all the experiments and any second now, someones gonna come banging that door down to save us. nancy, jonathan, steve, robin max, lucas, dustin, kali-

and the second mike says her name he knows he screwed up

brenner decides in that moment that all he can do is round up everyone involved and get rid of them. conveniently, the string of murders occurring will serve as a good cover for what happened to them

and this is the part where joyce, murray, and hopper get back to hawkins

this is also the part where nancy and robin and the gang get back to hawkins

so nancy and robin immediately go to the video store armed with all the new information they learned from victor creel

..... and are met with jonathan, argyle, kali, and steve in pandemonium

they close the store for the day, and get ready to storm the lab

they realize that they need something from the school, so they head there to pick it up

and soon after arriving, theyre met with the all to familiar hawkins lab vans

they make a hasty escape, taking out some of the goons but they need to find a way to get the rest off their trail

they head for the woods, hoping to hide out in the cabin

meanwhile, the russia crew has taken the mostly demolished cabin as their haven to recover from whatever injuries they sustained

theyre all running through the woods, but they realize the people from the lab are closing in on them

and then nancy and jonathan pass a very familiar tree

they use whatever weapon they have on them to break through the bark, and head into the upside down

the lab people keep going into the woods, eventually finding hopper’s cabin

epic showdown between the russia crew and the lab people, joyce, murray and hopper win, they realize the lab is back, immediately head there realizing theyre gonna have to rescue someone

nancy and robin use the info they learned from victor creel to keep the gang alive in the upside down, max, argyle and eddie are freaking out because omg we’re in another dimention, we get some big reveal about the truth about the upside down and the gang makes their way out and head to the lab

and while this is all happening,we get some super emotional monologue between brenner and el (ala-the last 10 minutes of the truman show) and brenner realizes that el isnt going to be the naieve superweapn she used to be, and decides the best thing he can do with el is give her the standard punishment, time in the closet

and being in the closet triggers all sorts of flashbacks and emotions (mbb’s opportunity to show off her acting chops for an emmy)

joyce and hopper bust into the lab like they did in season 1, but this time they dont get caught

they decide to split up to cover more ground, and hopper finds el in the closet

and around the same time joyce finds mike and will and gets them out of there

here comes the REAL emotional performance

hopper sees her, we get a teary eyed “el!” “dad!”, and then hopper gets pulled away from el by lab workers

exactly the same way terry did

we’re watching this happen from el’s perspective, with a heart-wrenching “noooooooooo” from el, accompanied by cuts to every time el has had to be separated from someone she cares about (terry, the s1 ending, billy dying, her leaving kali in s2, saying goodbye to everyone on moving day, her being separated from mike and will when they got to the lab) accompanied by some terribly sad 80s song, then back to the present moment, she reaches her hand out and boom, the guards go flying. her powers are back

except she doesnt have control of them the way she did before, and now shes bringing the whole building down

her and hopper race to the the first floor, and meet joyce and the boys, they get out of the building at the very last second, and the whole thing collapses.

eventually they find the other group, the whole team is now together, they go and take down the big bad from the upside down, joyce almost KILLS lonnie

nancy and robin drop a huge bombshell that has to do with hawkins/the upside down, specifically pertaining to el, which they pieced together after talking to victor creel

we get a massive cliffhanger, season 5 starts like 10 minutes after the ending of season 4

[stimuliandthelike]

much ado about nothing (2011)

or i guess in other words, the one with tennant and tate. this is for future reference but also for u @jules1144​. 

a shakespeare play set up like Mamma Mia with a low budget... i am in love

apparently the way to make me fall in love with you is by being beatrice

our first impression of beatrice is witty-wine-aunt and our first impression of benedick is crazy-area-man-makes-dramatic-entrance-in-a-poorly-decorated-golf-cart and i think thats very cash money of them

“my deeeaarrR Lady Disdain... *high pitched voice* are yoU YET LIVING?” he looks so SMUG and she looks so UNBOTHERED this is such a PERFECT PORTRAYAL OF THEIR CHARACTERS

beatrice: i had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he LOoOooOOVes mE

benedick: :DDDDD

(oh u poor unaware souls)

theyre having so much FUN insulting each other i fucking love them so MUCH 7th grade me did not appreciate the absolute GOLD MINE this play was

don john: im not of many words- benedick: and yet he never shuts the fuck up!!!!!!

claudio: no i pray thee speak in sober judgement  benedick: ....why...?

benedick is me everytime one of my friends talk to me about someone theyre falling for. just: “i noTeD HeR nOT BuT i LoOKeD At HEr”. tbt when i thought i was ace

bro... bro let me... get real close to your face bro.... let me be centimeters away from your neck and talk about my evil plans bro... bro... i cannot hide what i am bro... whats that bro?... im gay bro...

BEATRICE IN A SUIT!!!!! BEATRICE IN A SUIT!!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD BEATRICE IN A SUIT!!!!! look i had so much respect for this woman already but it increases by the second i am in awe. if i had any doubts about being gay before they have been erased. also. the correct way to communicate with your family members is definitely 100% to swing your leg over a chair and rant about marriage and mock love when really you are scared nobody will ever love u. the sunglasses,,,,, the tie,,,, the quality

okay i know the costume design is absolutely fucking brilliant here and that david tennant dressed as a slutty peppa pig is absolutely a Topic of Interest but everytime they insult each other i gain a year in my life. google how do you cope when the love of your life tears you apart with her wit and her ability to destroy people with it. 

also shes dancing AND roasting the fuck out of him. the power she has.

benedick.exe has stopped working

look. LOOK. claudio has no rights. but. BUT. the earrings and the necklace and the shirt are *chefs kiss*. yet another genius move by the costume department.

mr tennant he is moping. mr tennant u r breaking him.

therapy with Dad. 

benedick: beatrice insulted me!!! she called me a JESTER :((( don pedro externally: uhh... what would give her that idea... done pedro internally: beatrice... will she be my wife? if she will not be my wife.. i will set her up with the man she claims to loathe.. ah...yes.. perfect.. i am cupid

also i knew hes a good actor but shit he portrays benedick so well. like. im in awe of ur acting sir. i’ve never laughed so much in my life while also simultaneously feeling so sad

just talking about the woman you definitely arent falling in love with with your dad friend... just talkin about how the woman you are definitely not in love with is so poisonous and horrible.... just talking about how much you despise the woman you are falling in love with...

JUST TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU DESPISE THE WOMAN YOU ARE FALLING IN LOVE WITH AS THE WOMAN YOU DEFINITELY DESPISE (NOT LOVE!!!!) CATCHES YOU IN THE ACT

side note: he yelp

therapy with Dad part 2

just talking to your dad friend about how you are definitely not in love with aforementioned man who is definitely not in love with you either. beatrice marry me

oh fuck dad friend has asked to marry me. abort abort abort abort abort..eat glass??

the best way to deal with the fact that beatrice wont marry you is to start pairing her up with the man she doesnt know she loves yet. deal with rejection by spreading love!!!! what a dude

oh how ~dramatic~ i wonder what will happen-

I DEFINITELY DIDN’T WONDER THIS WILL HAPPEN

the Vibes. the absolute vibes. a shakespeare character in shorts and a superman (thankyou @deathly-shipper​) t shirt and sunglasses pining and monologuing away on the floor as he sips some beer from a funky straw... ingenious

benedick dissing claudio and talking about how much hes changed after falling in love but really its also foreshadowing how much benedick will change after he falls in love so hes dissing HIMSELF too... poetic cinema

the sheer chaoticness of this scene is so iconic where do i begin. three friends of benedick get together to try to get him with beatrice and spend the whole scene pretending they cannot see him while benedick blatantly runs around the place tripping over his feet as claudio waxes poetic about how much pain beatrice is going through because of her love... and how perfeCt poor benedick is for her.. how ingenious.. how despicable... i love them.

IS HE GOING TO DANCE

YES HE ABSOLUTELY IS

he will TWIRL 

he will also CRASH INTO TRAYS OF FOOD 

the piNinG

beATRICE LOVES ME??? mE??? she..loves.. ME???

beatrice: :| benedick: :DDDD

A Series of Unfortunate Events (catherine tate i am in love with you)

the fact that they shoot this like some 80s diner scene... cinematic... maybe i am gay. catherine tate playing beatrice is my gay awakening

what is even going on in this one. i have nothing but respect for all the actors involved. mayhaps when i am not afraid of tumblr crashing i will do a part 2

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[mnogorgannik]

2 10 n 11 :)

this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)

2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?

WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!

the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.

i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.

i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?

in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.

there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.

and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...

peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.

while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.

one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!

it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.

also, here’s a little thing  i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting

i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg  even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.

anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.

i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much

10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?

this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short

11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?

UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/

i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)

all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”

i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.

and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?

i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.

he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?

the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.

however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.

in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.

i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you