#And it’s nice to see people putting stuff out there and having fun drawing even if it’s like considered lower for whatever reason.

[insaneillusionist]

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[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jijidraws

Jiji Knight is a latina pinup illustrator. Her work is overall geared toward thick ladies and dedicated to fat positivity out of a purely selfish need to create art she wished she had seen growing up. She often features sexy and soft macabre themes on vibrant or sweet colours and takes great joy in making folx feel good about themselves with her work. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration and operates out of her very sunny hometown of Las Vegas.

Check out our interview with Jiji below!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Oh my gosh… I have art blocks all the time. My favorite way of overcoming it is by making fanart. Funnily enough, that’s something I don’t do in my own work anymore. But there are still IPs I return to that still bring joy to my heart. I love returning to drawing Sailor Moon like when I was in first grade. Or I’ll even look up the last fashion week and start drawing the fashion week outfits from the Paris or New York show. Stuff like that is what gets my creative juices flowing.

What medium have you always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

Resin. Resin art is so stunning. People make the most amazing and beautiful sculptures using resin, and I don’t think I could ever bring myself to play with something so complicated. There are a lot of ways to cure it, and sometimes, it doesn’t cure properly…I already work with enough chaos as it is! I respect resin artists, but I don’t think I would ever touch it. I’ve admired it from a distance. There is an artist I follow who does these resin layer paintings. So they’ll paint a layer of resin, then cure it, and paint on top of the cured layer. They build up these amazing paintings using resin…I could never. Maybe one day!

What is one interaction you had with a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?

I still remember…It was my first and only Flame Con in New York. I had a fan come up to my booth. They didn’t say hello or that it was nice to meet me. They started to cry! They cried, and the first words out of their mouth were, “I’ve never seen myself in artwork before.” So, of course, I started to cry! So we were just crying across the table at each other. It was just one of the sweetest interactions, and it really sticks with me still to this day.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

My latest collaboration with the artist Missupacey. We’ve been collaborating for two years now, and our last collaboration was for Midsummer Scream. It was two very cute clown girls, and I designed our T-shirt. It was one of the most fun projects we’ve done in a long time. We love doing collaborative work because it keeps working in the art industry fresh—being able to bounce ideas back and forth. So we do it where someone picks the color palette, and someone picks a theme. We’ll get references together, put them on a big board, and send each other sketches. It’s really nice to work with somebody else.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Honestly, it changed everything. I mean, I used to draw for myself a lot. And while I still do that, I now predominantly draw for my Patrons. For a while, I was drawing for the internet. So I was drawing stuff people wanted to see in terms of plus-sized versions of characters—a plus-sized Poison Ivy or a plus-sized Sailor Moon. My Patrons have allowed me to start drawing for myself again. But technology, for a while, essentially dominated what direction I was taking with my art, so I’m grateful to take some of that power back.

If there is one thing that you want art enthusiasts to remember you by, what would it be?

Body positivity. I would love for them to remember that there is an artist making work that is making people feel good about themselves and about the way they look at themselves.

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Have a method of taking money, have a method of displaying your work, and have a way to take a break. I have a plastic picnic cover that costs like a dollar at any store. All I have to do is clip it to my display grates, and it covers up my entire display. I feel secure enough to take time for myself in a 10-hour workday to eat something, go to the restroom, or even take a moment to breathe and reorganize my inventory. So it’s so funny that this one-dollar piece of plastic is like the most life-saving item in my display of items.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@mayakern comes to mind. She is another body-positive artist who expanded into making body-positive clothing. She’s amazing, and just to see someone else out there promoting body positivity. Maya’s been doing it longer than I have, I believe. It feels good to know that I’m not alone. Her work is always stunning, and I love her body-positive DnD characters and the fact that she’s still plowing through the clothing industry. For example, she’s expanded from skirts to button-downs and even custom-wrap shirts. I love to see what she’s doing, and it inspires me to pursue different avenues with my own work.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Jiji! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jijidraws.

[traumasurvivors]

Here’s a link to a blog post on my personal website on a topic that I think is very important.

I’ve also put it below the read more for people that don’t like external links. But if you're okay with it, checking it out on my personal website is really nice (and even giving it a heart if you can)! I don't make money from my website, so there are no intrusive ads or anything like that to stop you from reading the article.

Embracing Your Inner Child

This applies to anyone, but I really want to emphasize this to my fellow survivors who went through trauma as children and/or teenagers.

I’m so sorry you lost part, most or all of your childhood. That doesn’t mean it’s too late to give your inner child what you can. This includes comfort but it also includes doing the things you didn’t get to if you can.

Play the fun games. Buy the tasty treats. Go on adventures.

It’s never too late to feel a little more of the kind of joy you had (or should have had) as a child. You may not be able to be a child again, but you can still help and support your inner child.

You might have been told that a fun idea you had was “silly” or even “stupid.” When you have those thoughts now, instead of rejecting it, embrace the “silly” idea and let yourself enjoy it. It’s not shameful or wrong to do the things your inner child wants to do. It’s okay to be “immature” sometimes, even if you’re twenty years old. Or thirty. Or sixty. I just want to say that I don’t think any of this is immature, but I know that is a bias and judgement a lot of us might pass on ourselves. 

A short, not at all complete list of things you might do for your inner child:

Watch childhood movies or tv shows (Did you watch “Blues Clues”, or “Pokemon”? Maybe “The Land Before Time”? There’s no reason you can’t still enjoy them.)

Listen to “silly” music, maybe singing along or dancing to it (for me, one favourite is “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” from The Lion King. I know every word and have a dance party everytime it comes on my shuffle.)

Go to the park and use the swings (I don’t know why, but flying up just a few feet can make me forget all my “grown-up” worries)

Have a treat just because (maybe that big sundae your parents never let you have, or the chicken nuggets you haven’t had in a decade). Maybe you want to fulfil your childhood dream of having ice cream for breakfast! 

Go to the toy store - maybe even get some stuffed animals or other toy items. (I just recently realized that I can fulfill my childhood dream of collecting certain toys that I never got to have when I was younger!) 

Ride a roller coaster and scream your head off on the way down (I like to try to be in the very first car)

Make creative, crafty stuff - like a painting or drawing, or decorating a picture on construction paper with googly eyes and glitter or a clay model with a weirdly shaped head (even if the result looks like something you’d expect to see in a kindergarten class, or the process makes a mess that looks like a glitter bomb went off)

Another aspect of embracing your inner child is trying to give your inner child the person you needed when you were a child. 

This might mean standing up for yourself when others try to put you down or take credit for things you’ve done, even (or especially) if no one else spoke up for you when you were a child. 

It might mean offering comfort and compassion to yourself, and not being too hard on yourself when you make mistakes that you would have been insulted for as a child or don’t know something that “everyone learns as a child.” Maybe now you can teach yourself that accidents happen, and spilling a drink or breaking a plate is not the disaster and failure of character that you were told as a child. 

It might mean being patient with yourself when something is harder to do than you feel like it should be (whether you actually aren’t able to do it as easily as others, or you have unrealistic expectations of its difficulty because of the expectations put on you as a child). There are lots of instructional videos out there to help you to gain basic cooking or cleaning skills. If you never really learned to read, there are programs to help you. If you weren’t allowed or able to learn to manage your emotions or relationships in healthy ways, there’s help out there for you. There is absolutely no shame in not learning any kind of skills you feel you “should” have learned as a child, and it is okay to learn them as an adult.

You may have had to grow up too fast. You may not have been allowed to do the fun things. You may have suffered trauma that shattered your childhood. I’m here to tell you that you still have an inner child, and embracing that inner child is good for you. Just because you’re an adult, at any age, doesn’t mean that you’re too old to have fun.

No one else gets to decide what’s right for you - you get to decide what you enjoy and what you want.

And it’s never too late to remember, indulge, listen to, and embrace your inner child. Let them be a part of how you choose to move forward. It’s time for us to realize that there is no one way to be an adult, and we get to decide what being an adult means to us. And if that means I want to rent a bouncy castle for my birthday, then that is my perfectly valid version of an adult birthday (a birthday which my inner child would be thrilled about, by the way).

[nqmonarch]

hello......... we meet again...........clown to clown communication............... youve infected me so bad with your yandere blade thoughts please i have to be euthanizeddd.......... please i need to know more of your thoughts on the matter so bad /nf

Hello again :) So I ended up turning a bunch of mini thoughts into a mini story, if you don't mind. If you want more just brainrot thoughts lmk and I can get those out of my brain as well

Originally I was going to publish it in one part however, it's getting a bit too long (6775 words) and I don't like having such long posts.

This is a lot of the leadup portion Part 2 will probably focus more on the Yandere although it starts to lean on that a bit in the end.

TW: Yandere, violence, manipulation, drugging all that kind of stuff.

Also spoilers for Blade and High Cloud Quintet's identity (I don't know exactly which quests I spoiled)

I think the big question first off is how do you even get Blade interested in you?

It could be the classic, knowing Blade in the past, being his lover or friend before he became mara struck. Maybe even being his rival, someone that loved to challenge him, and ended advocating for him to be allowed to die an honorable death out of admiration for your opponent. Either way he'd have lingering feelings for you.

But I like to think you met him by chance on the Xianzhou Luofu when he returned as Blade. Maybe you were a healer, that not only helped but put people out of their misery, peacefully. You were someone who specialized in working with mara struck, finding ways to suppress and calm it, staying by your patients side as they slowly lost their mind, and making sure they didn't hurt anyone. You were trained well in the ways of combat, after all you had to be in order to deal with mara.

Your goal was to help them come to terms with their death and once they had you would hand them off to the Ten Lords Commission. If they weren't ready, that was okay they could stick around. Either way when they'd fully transformed into a mara struck, you killed them. Only once they'd fully transformed would you be able to, otherwise they'd regenerate.

One day, you'd been wandering about when you found a curious person. Someone you knew well because their face was on countless wanted posters. You'd never done much research into the Stellaron Hunters but were surprised to see one of their members was afflicted with mara.

You weren't cruel. Instead you grabbed some medication and approached him, cautiously like how one would approach a stray cat. A few seconds after you'd begun walking toward him, he reached you. Tip of a blade pointed at your neck, grazing it, cool metal pressed against warm skin, it shook ever so slightly each movement threatening to draw blood. He was barely restraining himself, you weren't sure why he was even trying. But you did know that your head would be on the floor if he really wanted it there.

"Let me help?" Your tone was friendly, and you held up the bag of medicine in your hand. Your words didn't register with him, you doubted he could even see your lips moving. But the most important thing was to have a nonthreatening presence.

For mara struck you could strangely talk your way out of it. You were surrounded by mara while working, to the point you stunk of it. For some reason mara struck soldiers never attacked you unprovoked, it was a strange phenomena and that was the only reason you could think of.

Unfortunately, it didn't work for you this time, and you quickly found yourself trying to outrun one of the most dangerous men alive. Oopsie? At least it was kind of fun! This exhilaration was really nice, you should get in near death experiences more often! You felt the wind whip around you as the hunter was hot on your trail.

You wouldn't be able to outrun him much longer, the only reason you'd gotten this far was because he'd been in the middle of swinging his sword at you. So your only option was to unconsensually drug him. That sounded really bad. But your life was at risk! You slipped one of the pills into your hand, it was one of the heavier ones that would cause the patient to pass out. There were some cases where even your medicine couldn't comfort, then the best thing would be sleep.

With a minor turn of your ankle you swung around and placed your hand in his mouth, opening it, and getting the medicine in. He bit your hand near immediately, but you kept it still, even though his teeth would sharp as fuck you could feel them even inside your hand clenching down. You felt the warmth of blood, and waited a moment looking into his eyes.

You wouldn't hold it against him, he was mara struck. This was how they acted toward most people, not normally you, but it felt good to be treated like most people for once. You were normal. It was nice. Then he fell off your hand, tumbling straight backwards, and hitting the ground with a painful thud.

"Oooh, that's gotta hurt," You muttered, not entirely sympathetic to the man that just tried to kill you. But he was an interesting person. A Stellaron Hunter with mara, huh?

Maybe you didn't know as much about them as you thought. You slipped off the cloth bag around your shoulder and fixed it over his face. Then you grabbed him by the arms and began to drag him, his clothes dirtying upon the street floor, back to your little apothecary. Heavy.

You managed to lift him for a few moments to put him on a cot, before placing your hands on your knees, and taking a moment to catch your breath. You prepared some medicine in case if he was still mara struck and a glass of water. He woke up in only an hour, you were lucky to have enough time to finish bandaging your hand. Normally, it'd keep people out for six hours. The farther along they were the less productive it was. By all accounts he shouldn't be able to have a single moment of sanity.

Yet when he got up from the bed he seemed normal. Eerily so. You remained poise in a seat near his bed which he hadn't noticed. His eyes rested on the pills before looking around the rest of the room and reaching you. He reached for his blade, moving his hand next to his side and grabbing at empty air. Thankfully, you'd already removed the blade from this room, he was probably more deadly when he had his wits about him.

You chuckled at his response, feeling your nerves heighten as you resisted the urge to run away. Maybe this was a bad idea. "Hello there, good sir!" You greeted chipperly, "I saw you passed out on the side walk and dragged you back to my humble abode! Is there anything I can do for you?" You kept on your 'being yelled at by a 500 year old Xianzhou long life mother whose kid had just been told they couldn't throw stuff at people' smile.

He remained quiet for a moment, assessing to see whether or not you were a threat moving his eyes up and down, "...My sword?"

"What sword?" You replied back innocently. No way were you giving that back.

He let out a sigh, getting up from the bed, and heading to the door. The good news was he didn't try to attack you, the bad news was that the most fascinating mara struck victim was leaving. You couldn't let that happen.

You raced in front of him, putting your hands and waving them defenselessly. He looked down at you, red eye glaring down at you as if you were obsolete. You laughed again, "Well, uh, good sir, as someone that helped you can I at least know the name of uh--"

"Get out of my way -- knowing me won't do any good." He was definitely going to kill you if you didn't move. But you couldn't just let him leave!

Your smile grew even further, holding your cheeks up painfully, "Well-- you see-- you're so beautiful!" You said desperately, "I was taken by you-- love at first sight, you see? Right? You're just-- so wonderful!" You stammered out, voice shaking, "Can I at least know the name of the breath taking soul who stole my heart!"

The long blue haired man froze in his path, hair swaying to a halt behind him. No fucking way that got him. He seemed befuddled, glancing further away from you, eyes focused on a small portion of the floor. "Blade." IT WORKED?!

Blade remained quiet for a moment longer before turning his head back to you, "Now move." Of course it didn't work, if it worked you would've been in a relationship by now.

He side stepped you easily, leaving you to stare at his broad back, clothes tight around his muscles. Now wasn't the time to think about that. "You have mara right? I can cure it." It was a bold claim. You'd never done anything like that before, and his case was more severe than others.

He stopped in his steps, "What?" One deadly word made you almost want to take back everything you said but you couldn't. Blade experienced mara differently than others, that was clear. If you had the chance to work alongside him then maybe... you could figure something out?

Even though you portrayed yourself as undisturbed by your job getting to know so many people and then watching them turn into monsters was horrifying. Blade was interesting, you'd hate to call him a test subject but, if he consented he'd likely end up helping your understanding of mara. You just needed a reason for him to stay.

"I work with mara stricken citizens and soldiers. I've researched it for my whole life and I use this knowledge to aid others, helping alleviate their pain, calm themselves, or sleep when mara takes them," That was convincing enough, right?

He appeared skeptical, still poised to attack even without his sword. But as you continued smiling, a hopeful yet scared look in your eyes he let out a sigh.

"Can you kill them?"

You paused a bit, understanding his intention, "Only when they're fully taken by the mara." Otherwise they'd only heal, "I can alleviate your pain until then." You were shocked at how self assured you sounded, as if you could genuinely help him rather than just use him for discoveries.

Blade remained quiet and unmoving, a statue with the first rays of sunlight hitting it and breaking it free from darkness, "Okay." His voice was quieter than it'd been this entire time, you thought you'd misheard him.

"Okay?" You repeated, as if what you'd heard was a dream.

"Keep your distance." He stepped out of the sun and toward your door frame before pausing glancing back for such a short time you thought you'd imagined it, "I will return, if it's what you want."

It was strange, Blade had a peaceful sleep unplagued by dreams of dying and pain. If there was a chance it was because of you and you really wanted to meet him again, then he shouldn't resist too hard, right?

You felt a smile grow on your face lifting up its corners as the swordsman continued to walk away, "Yes! That's wonderful!" Then you paused realization sinking in, "Oh, Blade!" You called out, hoping he wouldn't kill you for this, "Your sword's by the door!"

You saw him glare at you and instinctively shut your eyes preparing for a sword to be lodged between your eyes. But when you opened them neither he or his sword were to be found.

Part of you expected him to never return and he didn't tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow he didn't come back. You wanted to give up hope. It made sense and was likely better for your safety but, Blade was the breakthrough you were looking for.

You smiled at the elderly Xianzhou long life that you were walking with through one of the fake gardens on the ship. They continued to rattle on about their great granddaughter and how hard she'd been training to be a cloud knight. To care about someone's progress, such that the smallest milestones mean as much to you as they do to them-- that must be love right? You were a bit envious. You wanted to love like this old soul. Someone who had nearly lost their mind the other day to mara but could continue going on, loving, and hoping.

That day was the day they left, agreeing to be taken away by the Ten Lords Commission. It was bittersweet, as it always was and you were alone, again. That was alright though.

What wasn't alright was being woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of footsteps. Someone had broken in. They weren't well, they sounded limp, as if they were dragging one leg. But since you hadn't heard the door being broken down, they'd likely come in through the window you tended to leave open. Look-- people on the Luofu don't normally resort to these matters and if they did then they wouldn't go after you.

It meant whoever came was both highly skilled and injured. With careful steps, putting your feet down gently and slowly one in front of the other, you approached the trespasser.

You smelled the blood first, the faint irony scent that made your noise scrunch up momentarily as your mouth imitated the taste of blood. Then you saw it. The small dark red trail that gleamed in the moonlight. Then him.

You felt rather satisfied, even in a state where he was taken over by mara Blade had somehow made it back here, "I knew you'd come back," You spoke playfully.

At the sight of agony in his eyes, a pang of guilt struck your heart. It really wasn't the time to be joking around. Perhaps there was some sanity still left in him, as his whole body shook, shaking even more as you approached closer and closer. Part of him must want to attack you, to kill you, to rip you apart until you were nothing, but he wasn't.

"Good," You commended him, as you stood in front of him and knelt down, aside from the shaking Blade remained still. He looked like he wanted to scream, hurt himself, kill himself, rip himself apart until nothing remained. Did he want to die more than he wanted to hurt you? Was experiencing mara that painful? You'd never know.

"I just need you to do one small thing for me okay," You spoke gently, even though you knew he likely couldn't hear your voice at all.

You thumbed through the few medications you always kept handy in your pouch, and picked one for pain relief. Last time you'd needed him to sleep or you'd die, this time you could see the effect of what they did. You moved the pill into his mouth and saw him struggle to swallow, you weren't moving your hands close to his face though for some reason you had a feeling he might bite them off-- like a dog would.

He was a lot more like a dog than you expected. The medicine had been able to work, body instantly relaxing, to your surprise. The more surprising thing was what happened after. Blade visited you, more often out of his own free will, not just when he was mara struck.

Blade was an awkward companion, terrible at small talk, and you couldn't take care of patients when he was near for fear they might see the Stellaron Hunter. Sometimes he would mumble under his breath about a price, or bring you small things, little trinkets, food, a severed hand-- A SEVERED HAND?!

"Why are you giving me this?" You looked down at the bloody hand he was holding onto, your eyebrow twitching slightly. You were used to blood and all but this was unnecessary.

He looked up at you, partially confused and disgruntled at your obvious disapproval, "He bothered you?" His statement came out more as a question.

Oh. It was him-- You let out an aggravated sigh, "You didn't get caught right?"

You noticed Blade perk up ever so slightly as if he thought what he did was right, "No."

That was good at least. "Don't do that again." What was he a dog? Or maybe a cat was better, bringing you pieces of their hunt. Now that you think about it, where did he get those trinkets from? It was probably best not to think about. "Go put that away," You said dismissively, moving your hand up to touch your forehead lightly.

You were going to regret this weren't you? Well, that was a problem for future you. You weren't sure exactly where Blade put the severed hand but as long as it was away from you it didn't matter. For a moment you considered asking him for help, to maybe capture a mara struck so you could test to see if anything would work on it. But that was too far, wasn't it?

The days carried on and so did Blade visiting you. He'd come to you for medications that alleviated his pain or helped him sleep without his memories tormenting them and you obliged monitoring him all the while. Then one day he started to request it.

"Kill me," He'd spoke suddenly, as you were leaning over some finely grounded herbs trying to come up with something new to keep stronger pain at bay. Your medicine's effectiveness was starting to wear off on Blade.

You flinched spilling the small specks to the ground and staring at him in the eyes, "Excuse me?"

You didn't think he'd hated spending time with you that much! Sure, you were kind of using him, and you got upset at him whenever he brought you something drenched in blood but who wouldn't?! You thought the two of you were getting along just fine! You'd even consider him a friend... A strong word for a Stellaron Hunter. You knew he'd have to leave the Xianzhou Luofu eventually too.

"You can do it," There was a slimmer of affection in his voice it made you almost think you misheard the part about you killing him, "If anyone can, you can." It was oddly affectionate. You kind of despised how he spoke, as if he would never speak to you again.

You let out a small laugh, "Shut up Blade." Drop the conversation topic.

But he kept pushing, "Find a way to kill me." Blade took a step closer to you, and for the first time since you met him, you felt in danger.

"And what if I said no? Remember, I'm uh... head over heels for you," You said lightheartedly referencing to your excuse when you'd first met him. "I wouldn't be able to bare it if you died!" You smiled up at him, squinting your eyes.

Normally, you'd be a bit peeved that your sample had been knocked over but right now you were unnerved, and much worse, worried.

It looked like he was more in pain from your words with the way he grimaced at them. "Please." It was wholly desperate and vulnerable, a statue split open to reveal a bleeding heart which begged to be free from its misery. If you stabbed it the statue and everything around it would crumble. Not that there was much around it to begin with but-- there was you.

But Blade was your friend, in a very odd way you'd started to care for the strange man, "I'll try." He was in pain, it'd be wrong to let him just suffer, right?

Plus, you'd already collected enough data... You knew when medicines would stop being effective on the normal mara struck Xianzhou long lives and what to swap to. You hadn't found a solution but you'd found something that could better keep their sanity while they were in that state, even if it required the rare, Vidyhara bone marrow. You'd begun to find something that could supplement that as well, although you'd only heard of it in books you had to find Scalegorge Water Scape.

It was okay. You had all the information from Blade you needed. This was fine. This friendship always had an expiration date. His smile made it all worth it anyway. It was really the first time you'd seen him smile and for once he looked relieved, completely relaxed.

"Thank you," Foreign words from him, "When the mara strikes... It's no longer me." But what if you could fix that?

If you helped him keep his sanity then you couldn't use the pills to keep away the pain, or the ones to sleep. They couldn't clash. Maybe you had to figure out how to make it so multiple could be taken? Your mind raced for a different solution but in the end all you could do is smile back. Blade smiling was a beautiful sight. One you thought you'd never be able to see.

That night you cried. You hadn't seen Blade happy before. So why was he only happy at the idea of death? But you were a doctor you would remain stony cold and do the best you could.

It didn't work. Of course, it didn't. Why would it? You could've sworn his heart stopped for a bit, a few minutes after passing out after swallowing your "medicine." Was it really medicine if it killed someone? But he lived and he woke up coughing blood.

Blade wasn't happy but at the same time he seemed rather relieved..? You hated it. Someone too used to dying by the hands of a sword, by the strokes they were used to performing, that poison was a soothing way to die. You absolutely despised Blade. But you smiled and told him you'd try harder. You just didn't know what to do.

A few days after your promise Blade came back with a strange gift for you, a book titled Views of the Universe From a Starskiff. At the time he brought it, he'd been in pain, grunting, and making too much noise for you to have any patients over. You'd stopped taking patients recently anyway. Instead only selling medicine promising you'd been on the edge of a break through and needed more time.

His memory had been scattered and he didn't recognize you. He'd swung his sword at you only to stop a moment before it hit you. You were right. When you'd originally met him, if he wanted you dead he could've killed you. You could still feel the air sweep by your head, and the cool blade on your skin. He didn't remember why he brought the book to you and when he returned to a better state of mind, you decided not to ask.

Instead you did some research on your own, and it lead you to an interesting person. Someone you really didn't want to talk to.

You shifted uncomfortably under the amber gaze of the general, "Do what do I owe the pleasure General?" Your voice was stiff, and shoulders tense as he only smiled in response.

"General is a temporary title, you can just call me Jing Yuan." You smiled in response, corner of your lip twitching a bit.

"Right, so what do I owe the pleasure, Jing Yuan?" Your smile strained further but all he did was laugh causing your smile to shift into a scowl.

Jing Yuan smiled down at you, not the least imposing, "Relax, I was just curious about some activity around this area." Did Blade kill someone without you knowing?

Throughout the whole conversation you remained tense as the general idly brought up his younger days as part of the High-Cloud Quintet. He was clearly just talking about this sort of stuff to get you to let down your guard! You looked at him warily, paying special attention to every individual word looking for hidden meaning. Eventually you found the hidden meaning. He was helping you.

The author of the book you'd been researching, Views of the Universe From a Starskiff was named Baiheng. "You knew this whole time," You muttered, a bit peeved, you'd thought you'd done a good job hiding Blade's presence and yet this old man somehow managed to figure it out.

The General simply smiled in response as you tried to clarify the situation further, "So Yingxing is--"

He stood up from his seat, "It matters not. The past is the past." Yeah, you probably shouldn't talk about this. You stood up as well.

"I'll walk you out," You spoke, still wary of the man but if he wanted to hurt or expose you, he would've done so already. "...Is it really your place to tell me this though?"

Jing Yuan paused as if in contemplation, still smiling, it was eerie how he could smile after everything. He was an unbreakable monument dedicated to the Xianzhou Luofu, "Who else could?" No one else would remember nor be able to share, so was that why he decided to step forward?

You opened the door for him, feeling the sun greet you again. "I hope it brings you peace." Your voice was sudden, as you looked at the man with new found appreciation. Even the hardiest statues still had bleeding hearts.

You would kill Blade. If it was the last thing you did.

You grinned rushing over to the blue haired man, the scent of iron around him. You told him that if he made anyone bleed before coming to visit you that he should bathe. You'd have to check if he was bleeding. "Blade!" You greeted him cheerfully, rushing over, and grabbing onto his arm. He stiffened.

You dragged him over to your work station moving your hand gradually down his forearm and to his wrist to be able to pull him better. His hand reached out for yours, and latched onto your wrist instead. The two of you were friends. Killing him was the right thing to do. But if he didn't want to die, you wouldn't mind Blade sticking around. You would take care of him as you would a patient.

"Do you still want to die?" You might as well check, there was no harm in it, maybe he'd stay after all.

To your dismay, he nodded, it was cold and steady. Your smile stiffened but remained on your face, this was fine. It was what you expected.

"I'll still do my best to help you," You promised him, truly meaning your words. It was just, you didn't have any idea of how to proceed. Maybe, the mara struck would have an answer but even you weren't foolish enough to wander into their hordes. Sure, you were lucky that the mara struck seemed not to attack you normally but luck couldn't be all you relied on. "But, in order to do so I need to observe mara stricken more up close," You admitted, that was your best bet, "Could you help me with that?"

Blade was strong. You'd seen the way his muscles flexed and tensed under his shirt whenever he made a swing with his blade. This would be easy work for him. The selfish part of you was happy you could spend more time with him too.

That started the third phase of your friendship with Blade. The first being the initial visits, the second being your attempt to kill him, and the third being yielding him as if he was a blade. It made you feel kind of guilty. Speaking commands beneath your voice of who you needed restrained, looking down at abominations as you tested new pills on them to see the effects. They'd writhe as Blade held them on and you watched onward apathetically. They were monsters, you shouldn't care about their pain.

Then you'd try to kill Blade. Again and again. Seeing him cough up blood and lay motionless on one of your cots. Or seeing wounds reopen over his body, blooming as if they were flowers. It was sickening. You didn't know how many times you did it nor how many times you could continue trying to do it. He would bare his teeth, biting down on cloths, letting out whimpers, blood slowly covering everything close to him.

"I can't do it." Maybe if you were competent it would be okay, you could give Blade the freedom he deserved away from the pain and mara and biting harsh memories. But you weren't a competent enough doctor. Nor were you a good enough friend to tell Blade to the face.

It had been a cold night on the Xianzhou Luofu when you decided to leave. There'd been a lot of commotion recently, the Ambrosial Arbor had risen and fallen again. Blade had been more distant, visiting less often, as if there was something he was keeping from you. How he made your heart ache.

You loved him. That was why you had to do this. You stopped by the divination commission on your way out, a letter from Jing Yuan in your hand. You'd never met Master Diviner Fu Xuan before nor were you looking forward to doing so. If she could see your memories that would mean Blade would be at risk. But you had to know if this would lead you down the path where Blade died.

But you didn't end up meeting Master Diviner Fu Xuan at all. Instead you met a much taller, purple haired woman, with hazy eyes. She greeted you as if you were a friend, and you approached her with caution smiling in response. "I know you," your voice was laced in excitement, "Kafka, the Stellaron Hunter! A bounty of 10 billion, right?" Why did she have to show up now?

You held your hand out with a smile, "I've heard wonderful things about you, you're even more beautiful in real life than on the poster!" Your heart raced trapped in your ribcage, thrumming against it nervously. This certainly complicated your plan.

"Hi, Y/N. I've been meaning to meet you," Her voice was sultry yet teasing, which was more menacing than if it'd been cold and harsh like Blade's. She knew your name too, that must not be a good sign.

She remained back against a wall, small smile on her face as if she was toying with you. You dropped your hand back down to your side. "Is there anything I can do for the esteemed Stellaron Hunter?" You really just wanted this to be over with.

"Not for me," She pushed herself off the door frame and you could see into the battered room. Blade was slouched over, eyes stapled shut, the small shakes his tense body let out were barely noticeable.

You were by his side in an instant, kneeling before him before you could even think, hand resting gently on his chin. Since when had you begun to care so much for him? Was it when he'd gotten slashed in the arm by a mara stricken soldier due to your negligence? Or had you cared for him before you ever met him?

You had half the medicine on you, half back at your place in case he ever returned in search of relief. The half on you was for research but it would be better used for something like this wouldn't it? You glanced behind you feeling eyes stare into your back, and Kafka simply smiled as her eyes met yours.

"Well, Bladie's never been so obedient," She replied simply at your questioning look, causing your shoulders to tense.

You turned your attention back to the patient in question only to be met with a red eye gazing into yours, his face much closer than you remembered it being. You stood your ground looking into his eyes with a harsh look, did he really have to always go and get himself hurt? You could smell the blood on him.

"Who... are you?" Sometimes symptoms of mara included memory loss so you weren't surprised by the question but it still hurt. But it surely didn't hurt as much as Blade was hurting right now, you could see his wince as he accidentally glanced at the light behind you.

You slipped a pill between your fingers, "It doesn't matter, I'm here to help you," You replied simply, lifting your hand up to his mouth, "Now open."

Once Blade became more docile around you during his mara episodes you'd started to deliver his medicine this way. Originally, you hadn't done so since you valued your fingers. He opened his mouth without a second thought, albeit he looked rather confused as to why he complied.

You glanced down at his faint pink lips a sheen covering them, he really was beautiful. If only he could experience the beauty of the world at full. The pill was placed between two of your fingers and you brought it up to his lips, pushing past them, and his teeth leaving the pill in a good place for him to swallow. This was how it always was.

You felt his tongue move as he swallowed it without a second thought and you removed your fingers like normal, except. You glared at him, keeping your hand still. Apparently you still had to worry about him biting your fingers off. "Blade," You spoke warningly feeling the teeth pressed threateningly into your index finger, the other finger escaping freely.

He didn't respond and you swore you heard a laugh behind you which only further irked you. He wasn't biting down hard enough to hurt or draw blood but you knew the second you tried to move it he would. Instead of responding by letting go Blade only looked up at you like a dejected puppy. His bandaged hand reached up and grabbed yours, you could see faint blood stains near the edge of where it reached his wrist and disappeared beneath his sleeves.

"Don't bite me," Your voice was stern as you looked down at the blue haired man, only growing more remorseful by the moment. It was strange behavior, a kind he hadn't exhibited before, but he hadn't forgotten you before either.

This time his teeth let go of your finger, leaving it slightly warm and wet in his hand's hold as he clutched onto desperately as if he was afraid you'd disappear before his eyes. It should only take ten minutes for the medicine to leave him vulnerable and helpless, yet he was already so docile. You had to wonder if he knew you were planning on leaving.

You let out a quiet sigh, keeping your voice low as these words were only for Blade and you. Your hand reached to brush his hair off to the side, resting along his jawline near his ear. You moved close enough so that he could feel even the slightest inhale and exhale against his ear, "I'm doing this because I love you."

It was a shitty excuse but it was closest to the truth wasn't it? Maybe if Jing Yuan hadn't told you the truth then you wouldn't be so determined to help Blade. Maybe you would've cried to Blade that you couldn't keep failing to kill him because you didn't even want him dead in the first place. You wanted Blade by your side.

"I'll figure it all out, I promise." It was the most loving your voice had ever been yet when you met his eyes again you didn't see a subdued look instead a more panicked one took its place. It didn't take long for you to be entrapped completely, arms holding and rooting you in place, leaving you unable to move.

It was as if he was trying to merge your bodies into one. So you'd never be apart again. Your nose resting above his shoulder as the rest of you was pressed into him, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, his arms wrapped around your waist pulling you closer and tightening. It hurt a bit. They continued to squeeze you, hands pressed against your sides gripping onto them.

"Gentle," You reminded him, voice tickling his ear, and as he eased his hold, Blade's head collapsed against your shoulder, hot breath hitting your neck. It took you a few moments to realize he was crying. That the sudden small burn against your skin was tears.

He spoke in a broken voice, "Who are you?" You began to cry too, wrapping your arms around him with equal need.

"It doesn't matter, I'm going to help you." Your voice must've sounded ugly as well, off pitch from emotion.

"You... can't leave." They weren't words you expected, but you noticed his grip loosen on you anymore as time continued onward.

You couldn't reply. You had to leave right now, the answers you were searching for weren't here. They lay with Yaoshi and the lands Yaoshi had touched. If you could journey to those and research the people and mara there... you would be able to kill Blade. You didn't want to kill him. But to leave him in this agony was more painful for the both of you.

"You..." Blade looked up at you, head tilted, agony in his eyes, "don't... ...leave." You smiled down at him, unable to find the words and instead moved your lips to press against his tearstained cheek.

At your lack of response you felt his head tilt and his breath hit your shoulder. Then he bit. It didn't hurt as much as you thought it would. You thought his aim would be to tear through your skin and take your flesh with him, leaving a bloody hole in his wake. But instead it was a persistent gentle movement, desperate to leave an imprint, to keep you here, to convince you. The both of you knew he'd pass out in a minute or two, the decision would be up to you after that. So he pressed his teeth into your skin, removing them for a second and pressing again, hot tongue licking your skin in between the pattern. You really shouldn't be feeling these sorts of things at a time like this but you couldn't help the heat rising to your face.

There... wasn't any harm in this right? "...You're beautiful," You muttered, only able to see his long hair you rested a hand on it. You moved your hand through it slowly, untangling any knots you came across. "Really," His body collapsed into yours, completely devoid of any strength, "I love you," You couldn't help but smile despite the tears.

It was hard to hold his body up by yourself. You were strong but Blade with all his muscle mass was heavy, either way you placed him back down on the seat without aggravating any injuries further.

Then you stood up and turned your back, ignoring the minor twitching and hand reaching out for your warmth that came from his subdued body. Kafka, had turned her back to the two of you, instead looking outside as if she was searching for someone.

"All done?" She asked, voice playful when you joined her outside. Yet you felt some type of understanding from her.

You nodded and handed her the pouch of medicine, "I am, instructions are in the bag," you said you'd brought it along for research but hadn't that just been an excuse? If you'd seen Blade again you could've given it to him. "There's some more at where I stayed."

She looked back at Blade, lying motionlessly, "Well, you have made my job a lot easier."

"Take good care of him," You replied, beginning to walk off.

"Bladie will be awfully sad to hear you left," Kafka called out, her voice carried its usual lilt but you sensed a strange seriousness to it.

If anyone had ever told you you'd fall in love with a Stellaron Hunter you probably would've believed them. If they told you, you'd be trying to kill the person you were in love with, you would've hated yourself. "I know, but this is the way I show my love." But... wasn't this the best solution?

You decided to not go see Master Diviner Fu Xuan, having run into the Stellaron Hunters so recently probably would make it easier for her to see them in her divination. At least you assumed so, you didn't know much about divination. The night was quiet and dark aside from one gray haired individual walking toward where you'd just been, looking around anxiously with each step. When you reached the starskiff you didn't look back.

Kafka played with the small pouch in her fingers, letting out a slight sigh. Everything was going as planned, albeit she couldn't help but feel a bit bad for Bladie. Her eyes darted to the source of sudden footsteps, finally, the Trailblazer was here. She couldn't interfere with what happened anyway it was best not to dwell on it.

You were part of the script. The ending Elio had promised, the one where Blade died.

Lots of notes here:

OKAY GUYS IDEA SO LIKE BLADE X READER BUT ALSO YAOSHI X READER (why do I simp for Yaoshi so much)

Like dude Yaoshi would love the way that reader treats the life they've curated and grown. While Yaoshi lets it grow without regard and only cares for the abundance they have to admit the life you cater to comes out more beautifully.

SCREAMS

Also sorry for the wait but I wasn't doing super okay mentally past week so I didn't write much, thank you guys for your patience! I had a lot of fun writing this, I know it really isn't thoughts or anything but I like having a story play out :D

And I also wanted the romance to seem organic and more natural even though it's yandere I wanted it to make sense. So I hope I managed to accomplish that even though I feel like it considerably lengthened this (especially nonyandere portion)

Was originally going to edit this but it turned out way too fucking long.

[nilolol30]

Hide and seek

"C'mon it will be fun!" Macaque continued to ask the same thing over and over today refusing to accept the rejection.

"No way it would be too unfair" you turn back to face the sink finishing up washing the dishes "okay how about I wear those noise cancelling headphones? They work decently well muffles most noise" with a sigh you put the hand towel down.

"Why do you even want to play hide and seek? Are you that bored? And where are we even going to play it it's not like people casually play hide and seek in the city people would probably think you're a murderer or something" you can't help but laugh to yourself at the last part.

"Uh yeah I'm bored plus it's fun and you have been too busy doing boring stuff and we can play it at the forest near Wukong's temple it's not like the guys always there unless it's training Mk" Macaque shrugs leaning his arm on your shoulder.

"Okay fine" you sighed and smiled a little at Macaque "Ha knew you couldn't say no to me!" Suddenly he grabs your arm and pulls you into his shadow portal without warning.

Suddenly you can feel the ground on your shoes and you can see again it was beginning to get dark the sunset made most of the forest trees a warm orange then Macaque gave you a firm pat on the shoulder.

"Okay since I'm like the best I'm going to give you a bigger headstart about.... fifteen minutes and you just gotta hide for one hour easy" Macaque chuckled seeing you roll your eyes and prepared to put the headphones on.

"But quick tip!" He paused for dramatic effect "I am still faster" you stared at him for a bit "that's not a tip-" Macaque puts the headphones on.

"Count down starts now" without wasting time you booked it into the forest he was right it didn't matter if you ran and hid as far away Macaque could get to the other side of the damn island in seconds so best bet is to hide close by he wouldn't suspect that maybe.

Soon you find a pretty decently tall tree not too big but good enough and you climbed it to the top leaves hiding you from above it was good all you had to do was just put some of your weight on a branch but for extra measure you clinged into the trunk.

After a bit you can hear the faint voice of Macaque calling out "Here I come!" It didn't mean he knew you were close by but it still freaked you out.

It was mostly quiet and dark now you think you hit the twenty minute mark but you couldn't tell you left your phone at home but suddenly footsteps below you caught your attention.

Looking down you see Macaque walking past he was checking a few bushes and behind trees and then continued to walk away it took everything not to move an inch in case even a small leaf made a sound.

It was two minutes after you spotted Macaque when suddenly the tree was shaking and you lost your grip falling down with a small scream but you landed into a firm set of arms.

"Found you~" Macaque smirks drawing out his last word while effortlessly cradling you.

"Give me credit I was hidden for around twenty to thirty minutes best" Macaque chuckled pulling you closer to his chest "Actually I knew where you were at seventeen minutes" Macaque began laughing as he saw your face turned into disbelief to disappointed.

"Are you kidding me!" You playfully punched his shoulder he fell deeper into his laughing fit putting you back down and wipes away a fake tear.

"Sorry but I was being nice-"

"More like being a cocky bastard!"

"...I also purposely went the opposite direction-"

"YOU MOTHERFU-"

[ohnogodpls]

The way you draw neuvillette and Wriothesley has me giggling and kicking my feet, they’re such little guys they make my soul start doing ribbon dances.

I do also have a question, 👀, you mentioned you mainly draw neuvi from head cannons, are there any you don’t draw but enjoy a lot just in your mind?

Hola :3 thank you for the kind words and I am happy to see you like my little guys doing their little guys things

I let this sit for some days to think about headcanons, since I can't think of many. I mostly just get scenarios into my head at like 1am, write them down and doodle them in the evening as a relaxation so it's not like a very thought through thing. But I managed to write down some.

Appearance wise:

First of all, I sort of completely disregard canon details. It's not because I don't like them, but because I draw quick, have no patience, and after drawing a character onec or twice I get their general idea into my head and from there on only draw them from memory. I find it helpful since it is not only quick and comfortable, but allows my sketchy drawings to avoid overcluttering with details. As long as the general shape and colour palette are close to the original - I am happy. Second, I like the idea of some draconic features on Neuv. Sharp teeth, longer sharper tongue, eye pupil delation when he is happy or excited to see something (same for zhongli) and I think it would be cute if his horns would glow when he is pleased, happy or at peace. That's why if you sleep next to him and can't fall asleep because of the light - shh don't wake him up - he is having a sweet dream. Third: he likes to dress up. I need to think of some outfits I could draw him in. In game he often points out that he stands out and causes confusion when he walks around, his status and looks intimidate people into thinking he is there on official business by default. That's why I think over the centuries he acquired an interest in fashion and has a lot of outfits he puts on for more casual outings in that little free time he has.

Personality wise I can't say much. I am like always scared of going too ooc, because I genuinely love the way he is presented in canon, so all I do is more of an addition to it rather than substitute... But I think he would like plants. He would feed them the finest water and enjoy watching them bloom. Plus, Sumeru is right there so perhaps he finds himself fascinated by plants growing there and has a few saplings.

And on a slightly NSFW note: wriolette in my head are switches. I always tag it with wriolette only but I also never draw explicit stuff, but I think they love each other in ways where there is no dynamic of one overpowering another: they tend to each other's comfort and pleasure and happiness in equal matter.

Yeah I don't have much but hopefully this was a nice (slightly long) read. o7 thank you for the question, it was fun to think about

[crushedsweets]

hey sucker! 😋😋

what would the creeps do for valentine’s day?

like yknow, would some be given small treats or do others treat it like a regular day?

happy belated valentines day! hope you guys had fun and shared some love with everyone around you! this is the closest youre gonna get to x reader content from me.

AGAIN THIS IS SET IN MY AU!!! MY AU IS PRETTY DETAILED AND HAS AN OVERARCHING STORYLINE WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED FRIENDSHIPS, SETTINGS, JOBS, CHARACTER ARCS AND WHATNOT....... so :3 yeah.

Tim and Brian probably don't do much. They'll totally grab some chocolates/candy and eat it, but just cuz its there, not as a gift. if they had a partner, they'd just go get some dinner.. flowers, basic stuff. put on an unironed button up and pick their partner up LOL.

toby might do something depending on where he is in the story. early on, he is not doing SHIIIIT. deep into his friendship with nina(who opens up a lot of his emotional vulnerabilities n stuff), he might feel a little inclined to pick up some flowers for some of the girls in his life (nina, clocky, kate, lazari) just cuz he used to do something small for his sister/mom when he was younger (cuz frank never did shit). if he had a partner, he'd def wanna do jewelry and classic flowers. he likes necklaces and rings and piercings and stuff, doesnt wear them much cuz they get in the way, but likes seeing people wear stuff he got. he's the type to make them turn around so he could put the necklace on them, but if they even slightly laugh at him trying to be sweet, he's getting mad HAHA. "ok nevermind im returning this you fucking suck" (jokingly.. but he is embarrassed). would just wanna stay home though, no nights out or anything

clocky would paint stuff. she'd give nina a portrait of herself cuz nina loooves being someone's muse, do some nice art of forest creatures and leave some notes for toby. she'd feel pretty awkward about it just cuz even when she was with her highschool boyfriend, she wasn't good at giving or receiving affection. if she's gifted any flowers (which she will be getting), she's absolutely pressing them and either sealing them in some paintings, or putting it in frames that hold her old art/art she picked up at thrifts. if she had a partner, she'd obviously paint them or something. i could see her spending a long time working through a journal to gift them, making every 3 pages a painting, drawing, or journal entry expressing something. "today you and i went to get lunch. i think the place was way too expensive, but you liked it." and then empty pages for her partner to fill in with whatever they want.

nina. ok come on. lets be serious. its nina. she's gonna buy everyone(as in toby, clocky, kate, jane, liu) one expensive gift (cologne, watches, shoes, jewelry, makeup) and then throw together mini bouquets, notes, and probably shop lift other smaller stuff cuz 'IM BROKE I SPENT TOO MUCH I HAVE TO' LOLLL.. she's the type to literally decorate her house for it, putting up some of clocky's more romantic paintings (cuz she has a collection of clocky's work), setting out heart-shaped coasters, bringing out heart shaped pillows.... honestly she probably already had those.... she'd absolutely plan galentines dinner for her friends, bake cookies, everything. if she had a partner, it would be really similar. she likes to spoil people, gift giving and acts of service are her ways of showing love - buuuut she does want to be spoiled in return, so physical affection and quality time is what she wants to receive. she wants to be treated like a princess, be picked up, have her doors opened for her, told she looks beautiful, etc.

jack is even less likely to do something than toby. before the sacrifice, he'd grab a cheap bag of individually wrapped chocolates and give them to people he knew around campus. i could see him buying the same chocolates and leaving it in his cabin. telling whoever visits him to take some. nina would leave him some flowers too(say its also from toby) and he'd be really grateful, cuz she'd be very sure to get him whatever he thinks smells the nice. that way he can still appreciate it. if he had a partner, YOU KNOW HE'S COOKING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DINNER AT HOME. he's cleaning up, very awkwardly trying to dress nice. black button up, slacks, slick his hair back(or he'd just do whatever his partner says looks best, not too concerned with his own preference). he'd feel sooo fucking embarrassed and very nervous but he just wants to make it special. he'd write a long love letter, too

jeff isnt doing shit for anyone. he'll go steal some chocolate and mind his own business. if he had a partner, one that he ACTUALLY loved and wanted to keep around. maybe he'd pick up some flowers and chocolate, mainly cuz he knows thats the bare minimum sort of gift. he'd let them demand that day from him, which takes a LOT for him to let anyone feel entitled to HIS time. if he knows they have higher expectations (dinner, a letter, etc) he'd probably bitch and moan and be like "ugh you already know im into you why do i gotta do this shit" but if theyre serious, he'd probably do it. half assed though...

kates also not doing anything unprompted. she wouldnt even know the day is coming around. her only memories of valentines day would be passing out some candy and cards around class in elementary school, but once she was in the forest, nobody gave HER shit. she might pick some flowers and wrap it in some paper for people , but ONLY if she KNOWS they're getting something for her. like, she'd pick nina some flowers cuz she knows ninas doing something regardless, but she wouldnt get toby anything cuz she wouldnt have expected it from him. then shed feel bad. if she had a partner, again it'd be similar. she KNOWS she needs to put in the effort, but she doesnt exactly have the resources... the farm does pay her some cash since she works with the animals, but she mostly just gives it straight to toby so he can buy stuff for the cabin. but she'd keep it this time around, and quietly ask toby if he could come with her to get some stuff for them. some sweets, a necklace, scribble out a little letter. smth sweet.

janes married. and she goes all out of her wife. buys her like a 3dozen bouquet of red roses, sets reservations at nice restaurants, makes mary breakfast the morning of. all of that. i dont even know how to go into detail on this because thats just how it is for her, theres not some turmoil for her to work through. she'd also start getting sally some stuff. plushies holding hearts, balloons, sweet things like that. if she had a partner...WELL SHE ALREADY DOES!!!!

if liu knows nina is going to gift him something expensive, he's doing the same. he's going to grab her flowers and maybe some shoes or something he knows she's had her eye on. he wouldn't be really subtle about it, just text her "whats on your wishlist right now" LOLLL... he just appreciates nina's presence (after they get over the jeff situation) and likes having a little sister to spoil. he'd probably send jane a bouquet of flowers with a thank you note, since jane did a lot for him. if he had a partner, it would also be very stereotypical. date plans, picking them up, flowers, etc. he'd LOOOOVE to make one of those big baskets filled to the brim with random shit. would wanna come home and draw a nice bubble bath and have some wine. stuff like that in general...

ben, lulu, ann, and dina wouldnt do anything and wouldnt get a partner. lazari would draw some pictures for her friends! sally will draw something for jane and mary

[tocomplainfriend]

Funny thing (not really) I’ve noticed is that Viv has always fetishized m/m relationships. There’s obviously Stolitz, but it goes back way further. There’s Addison from Zoophobia being shipped with a guy who works at his high school, but to mention that Viv has drawn NSFW of them despite Addison canonically being a minor. There’s also Autumn and Rusty, the former whom gets bullied by Rusty cause Rusty is secretly in the closet. Ten years later and she’s still weird about m/m relationships.

TW: fetishizing Queerness

I tried to search a little for Addison's age. In the wiki, that I know Viv did not write it says he is 18, other post say 17- there are people saying the age got changed too? I know almost nothing to zoophobia- if anyone knows about this claim, share your knowledge and importantly evidence of the age thing in specific? I do know about those snake drawings. And also was Viv 19? Have no clue-so I'm not gonna super talk about it without knowledge.

About the Rusty thing, I don't think Viv is a good enough writer (of relationships especially, cause Stolitz mainly) to pull that relationship or story. I don't think she can pull the idea of the closeted bully, purely by the fact that she doesn't understand or acknowledge the problems Stolitz has. If she needs to put down characters to make Stolas seems better and try to justify the power imbalance. I don't think she could write this if she wanted to. This closeted gay bully is such an old trope, too. I think the worst you can do (also as a non-amazing writer) is actually tried to make a romance out of it? Cause a lot of these tropes are more like "HAHA THE BULLY IS GAY HAHAHA", rather than "aww the bully was just sad and gay all along". I don't like it. (also this includes when the bully doesn't bully his romantic interest)

A lot of problems in mlm stuff Vivziepop does is similar to those Yaoi fetishization shit. Where there are also power imbalance. Also, this treatment of the characters like Moxxie? Like he is bi, and with Millie- and his treatment is so shitty. The hole thing of MILLIE PEGS MOXXIE, and that funny cause is less manly of him? Or where the succubus sexually assault them and that is funny??? (that one is not even Blitz being an asshole to him, it's made to act funny). As soon there is something viewed as feminine from him, the show makes fun of him. His feminine appearance in Unhappy campers also leads to make fun of him. Where he is the most vulnerable and insecure is that episode. He is more objectified in a feminine appearance.

Just the entirety of Stolitz is literally a lot of yaoi-sh problems. Also, I do see a lot of red flags in how they wrote Fizz and Asmo'. Because Fizz was insecure af, that he needed the approval of Mammon as an imp. Mammon was using the power that he had over Fizz to use him to get money. He got his approval from Asmo another sin in a higher position of power. (The power imbalance is not the problem vibes). Plus, The Big dominant protector and the sub small uwu cure relationship. Fizz, compared to the first time he appeared, he is so vulnerable and acts so cutesy. Like, the confidence he had during the S1, disappeared so bad. Acting so nice to Glitz and Glam, felt like cutting out all attitude to "uke-fing" him into needing a savior. They make him so powerless

Fizz, a quad amputee, was put in a vulnerable situation related to his trauma and where he lost all his limbs and horns. All to make Blitz "redeem" himself and make them friends again... THAT SUCKS.

Also, there was the fact of how over-sexual all the male mlm characters are, too. Like, Chaz was so much more sexual than Verosika as a succubus.

IT JUST SUCKS.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

ROTTMNT Headcanons:

Every single person in New York knows who the turtles are  

They know their full names, ages, birthdays, social security numbers

They know everything about them they just don’t care  

Because the turtles keep to themselves and keep the city (kind of) safe they pretend like they can't see them  

But anytime there's a fight they think “the boys (and April) are at it again” and then they avoid that area like the plague

The boys (and April) share most of their stuff (i.e., clothes comic books, and action figures) with some small exceptions  

So, it’s not uncommon to hear someone yell “who took my sweatshirt! Come on guys you know that’s my favorite”

Or the occasional “are you wearing my shirt in that photo when did you even borrow it?”

April had a stash of the boy's sweatshirts that she’s been “meaning to give back” for 6 months now

Leo has given up hope on ever getting his 4town t-shirt back (if you think the boys didn’t watch Turning Red, you're lying to yourself)

April has a Disney+ account that they all use because Donnie said “if you can steal my tech to impress your girlfriend, I get to watch Treasure Planet as much as I want”  

And then the boys complained and said April was playing favorites

And now they all have the password

Every single Wednesday they sit down and have a movie marathon  

To keep the peace Raph made these rules “two boxes of pizza per person, one bucket of popcorn per person, and everyone gets to choose one movie”

Those rules fly out the window the second he conks out

Mikey’s movie always has to go first because he usually falls asleep within the first 30 minutes of the marathon  

Raph has to go next because he usually passes out after Mikey, they make fun of him for it every night  

Depending on how busy her week has been April will either fall asleep before or after the twins but she usually puts up a good fight (mostly cause she’s scared Leo will draw on her face)

Leo and Donnie always compete to see who can stay up the longest and again it usually depends on what kind of week they’ve had

Donnie is used to staying up late working on his tech but if his week was stressful, he can't make it past the fourth movie

And Leo is the resident insomniac who can't go to sleep unless he’s bone tired or medicated  

Honestly most nights they don’t know who went to sleep first because they pass out within seconds of each other

They both claim they won and everyone else calls in the tie  

Leo April and Donnie all secretly get together on Tuesdays and have a movie night of their own  

They find the worst movies at the bottom of the bargain bin and watch every single one

Donnie spends the night picking the movies apart while April and Leo laugh their asses off

Honestly, Donnie would have stopped coming to this meetup months ago because these movies are so damn frustrating to him  

But it’s nice to see April and Leo so relaxed so he watches the shitty movies they’ve picked  

Fridays are set aside for April and Raph to just relax they play soothing music put on face masks and just talk about anything and everything  

Saturdays are always Mikey and April days and they do a whole bunch of things sometimes they go to the mall, or they spend the day baking a cake, or painting

And sometimes during the really stressful weeks, they just sit next to each other and rest

And Sundays are April's alone days no one gets to text her or call her unless the city is falling apart  

The boys used to feel bad because they thought their friend was tired of being around them  

But then April kindly reminded them that she is an introvert at heart and even though her brothers are her people if she doesn’t get some alone time to recharge, she will have a mental breakdown  

Donnie pointed out that April probably wouldn’t want to leave the house on these days so the boys decided that every Sunday they would deliver her favorite games, snacks, and drinks on Donnie’s drone  

The first time they did it April almost cried (who’s she kidding she bawled like a baby) and gave them the biggest hugs on Monday  

[doodlemancy]

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhh

so here's the deal re: this fucking horseshit. god i hate this.

i, personally, have mostly given up on trying to dodge inclusion in AI datasets. the stuff i make generally isn't what they're looking for anyway and there's no real way to 100% avoid being scraped short of becoming entirely invisible online, which would um, lead to me having no money and dying. that's part of the cruelty of all this, but also, in a way, it's the same risk artists online have always taken; if you want people to see your work, you have to post it knowing that some of those people are fucking lowlife piece of shit scumbags who will try to resell it on redbubble or something for a quick buck. AI is just a new and exhausting way for garbagey people to stink worse. i am not in any way excusing that behavior or trying to imply people should not be mad about it or that we shouldn't condemn this move and fight back. "if you don't want your work stolen, don't put it online" is the kind of shitty Internet Tough Guy talk i've always hated since my dA days. it's as useless and heartless as telling people that if they don't want their bikes stolen, they shouldn't leave them at the bike rack. i'm saying that i, personally, will not let a bunch of soulless thieving shitheads drive me offline. i belong here. they belong in a wifi-proof dumpster.

nightshade and glaze eat my artwork alive. they make it look terrible. when you have to sell things on the basis that they look nice, it's a big problem when protective measures make them look like dogshit. my work is not a good candidate for these processes. even if that weren't the case, i don't have the stamina, especially right now while my chronic pain is flaring for the third month in a row and my adhd meds are scarce, to go back and shade/glaze everything, and it wouldn't work on reblogs anyway. given the way midjourney and its equally stinky siblings have already scraped years and terabytes' worth of image data from popular websites, it doesn't seem worth my time. if you think it is worth yours i am not going to like, yell at you. i am just one person. but i want to be clear about the kind of situations some of us are being forced into.

i think some of the doomsaying about AI and what it will do to us has been overblown-- they need you, for marketing purposes, to believe that someday their shitty robot will be as good at "drawing" and as practical to work with as a human-- but the consequences of "AI" (which is not even actually AI) are already real and visible and obvious to anyone paying attention. i unfortunately am not infinitely wise and powerful and therefore do not have an ideal all-encompassing solution to this deeply stupid problem that the Most Unlikeable Manbabies On Earth have imposed on us after NFTs fizzled out.

what i do have is a very large repository of nice anime and game screenshots i've taken, knowledge of many archives of nice public domain images, a computer that can run nightshade overnight or while i'm off doing other things, and, most importantly, near-infinite capacity for pettiness. i do kinda feel like the jury is still out on how well nightshade/glaze will work in the long run, but in the meantime, i suppose it wouldn't cost me a lot to... perhaps... every time i get Mad About AI™, channel that anger into dumping some thoroughly-but-not-spammily-tagged, high-quality, inconspicuous poison onto this godforsaken hellsite via a secret side blog. i could make a batch of poison ahead of time, keep it on my phone, use my Toilet Scrolling Time or my Public Transit Time to post and tag up an image here and there. it could be a fun challenge to try to make some pretty robot poison that some humans will still enjoy.

the other thing we need to poison at this point, IMO, is the word "AI" itself, by being loudly and mercilessly critical of any company that dabbles in it, the same way we all clowned on any company that pushed their luck with NFT/crypto shit a couple of years ago. we need to have every corporation terrified that association with AI will tank their sales and hurt their brand. AI must = number go down and lots of people screaming at you. companies will fuck around. we must provide the finding-out. we shouldn't have to. but we can!

so make sure to let tumblr know you hate this. maybe you could include this interesting link (tw child abuse) about how Stable Diffusion was trained on some extremely serious crime. or these screenshots of Midjourney devs just sort of admitting what their whole thing is, which i got here but which have kinda been spread all over since January.

spite and anger can be forms of hope. that's all i have to say, or at least all i'm willing to type with my left hand tonight.

[multifandomenjoyerr]

Hi hi! Love your writing! Can I request headcanons of cg hobie brown? I think he'd be so fun! There needs to be more spidervere agere

‹ 🎸 › Hobie Brown As a Caregiver

🎀 : As much as I don't like to post after I already posted recently, I couldn't pass a hobie headcanon. Thank you for asking anon! Hope you enjoy :] ✨

🎸 : unlike Miles and Pravitr he's completely a rebellious caregiver. Bedtimes? Nah, rules? Not unless you really need them, and he encourages you to get in a little of his shenanigans here and there

🎸 : he often gets his ear torn off by the others about how he takes care of you

🧸 : he has a hard time directly comforting when you need it. He's not around it alot and since you're in a vulnerable state he has to find his own ways to help you

🧸 : even if it's just a pat on the shoulder or telling you you're fine

☕ : He's not the one to use petnames. At first he didn't use them at all or kept forgetting, but slowly began calling you them now and again

☕ : punk/bugger/kid/rebellion/little dude is his usual petnames for you

☕ : he's not that affectionate either, though that doesn't mean he doesn't like a good cuddle or hug sometimes. In fact he finds it comforting, but he won't admit it

🎸 : out of all the spider people, he is the most active when it came taking you places and getting you out of the house. Pravitr loves Taking you places like parks, sure. But what about carnivals, pools, hiking and concerts? Hobie is your guy for that stuff

🎸 : "Hey, little dude, how about instead of sleeping we skip to go to a concert? I heard they're selling cotton candy!~"

☕ : he might've snuck you out of the house several times during his times of taking care of you— even if he gets an earful from Miguel or Gwen the most at the end

🎸 : if he upsets you in any way, he'd just write letters to you and give them to you full of apologies. Usually containing: horrible drawings (don't worry he tried his best), him writing sentences on sentences of him being sorry, and just sappy things

🎸 : he apologizes like you're about to bite him for it

☕ : "They asked for no pickles.."

🎸 : he'll never admit it, but he can get jealous whenever you're being babysat with someone else that isn't him. like.. so jealous he'd tear up

🎸 : don't worry though, a simple hug or you just being yourself around him makes him feel instantly better

☕ : "back off, man, they're just a kid."

🎸 : not overprotective but protective enough to tell others to back off if you're overwhelmed. If Miguel expects you to do a heavy job Hobie will do it instead instantly.. maybe scold Miguel a bit in the process

🧸 : If you happen to fall asleep that isn't in your bed, he'd carry you "bridal pose" or pick you up by your armpits and make sure you're covered up and comfortable in your room. Don't worry he'll let you have your sleep. Afterall a little one like you needs it

‹ 🎸 › Mini fic of CG!Hobie — "You're too little for that"

🧸 : for all little ages! This is just hobie babying you

hobie studied you from across the room, seeing you quietly make cupcakes for the others. No special occasion but you thought it would be nice thing to do Afterall. Lately you've been secretly Regressing, feeling bad for it you kept it to yourself. Hobie started to catch on but you'd quickly denied it or do something that made him forget about your behavior change. It worked for a few days but hobie knew you a bit too well. He's been your caregiver for about two months so there wasn't going around it. Not now or anytime soon. Before you know it you slipped completely. you try to grasp the little parts you have left to stay big, but it was too late. Hobie raised an eyebrow, catching on what happened. Even though in your regressed state, you continue to make the cupcakes. You weren't even half done.. and this was harder than it looked. You grabbed the ingredients and put it inside the blender, about to turn it on before a soft hand cupped yours, stopping you in your tracks. You looked up to see Hobie, who had a curious look on his face. It was almost unreadable but you can tell he was more confused than anything.. maybe just his neutral expression? He just tilted his head at you before he let out a soft chuckle. "Hey, hey how.. c'mon, kid.. you aren't getting past me with that 'oh I'm a big kid' bullcrap.. you're too little to bake by yourself. Here, let me help you..”

🎀 : SUGGESTIONS ALWAYS OPEN FOR ANY FANDOM! +mini fics like this are now open! So suggest that if you'd like ✨

[noisyalmonddreamer]

“Baby, bang it up inside”

Toxic relationship headcanons with HoO and MCGA

Characters: Percy Jackson, Jason Grace, Leo Valdez, Nico Di Angelo, Frank Zhang, Will Solace, Magnus Chase, Hearthstone, Alex Fierro

(A/N): The title is from the song “Washing Machine Heart” by Mitski! Also I’m bad at angst so this isn’t great lol

Percy:

- Percy is extremely loyal. That itself isn't a bad thing but sometimes...not great. He's loyal to you, he's loyal to his friends. But choosing...well... - It depends. Imagine there's a fight between his friends and you. And let's imagine he's known his friends longer then you. He'll take his friends side. No matter what - His friends said what? No they didn't they wouldn't do that! They did that? Stop lying! He knows his friends. They would never - And may the gods help you if it's Annabeth and Grover you get into a fight with

- he's also extremely oblivious - At first you thought it was adorable. Like awww what a cute boy but then... - It gets into the "well come on" zone - People at camp will obviously flirt with him - They also do stuff like flex right at him (while they're sweaty) and pushing their arms together to draw attention to....places - And he doesn't tell them to back off or anything - He doesn't full on flirt with anyone but he's gotta playful personality so it just happens sometimes - It's never his intention but it just enables them! - If you ever bring it up? He'll deny it - They asked for help with their sword posture! - They need to get something from a high up place! - They were just being nice! - You're just jealous and paranoid!

Jason:

- Jason can be a bit...direct - To put it simply - Sometimes it feels like his words cut wounds into you - He doesn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything - But he just doesn't see the point in lying if you can get something out of telling the truth - He personally is always trying to do the best he can - There isn't much room for error in his mind - So he assumes you want the same - I mean yeah. That painting does look pretty bad compared to your other work - The writing in that is sloppy. Everything is phrased weirdly - If you keep holding the sword like that your gonna embarrass yourself - Why are you upset? - He's just saying the truth! - Come on. Don't you want to get better?

Leo:

- Leo is SO insecure. - He's 100% convinced he's not good enough for you. - That you're going to leave him. So he needs constant reassurance. - That isn't bad. You're glad to reassure him. - It's not his fault that he insecure! - But this insecurity turns into ugly jealousy. - You're hanging out with some other  boy? - He knows you're cheating. - He wouldn't blame you. He wouldn't be with him either. - Next time he sees you he tells you no he fully understands why you're cheating on him - So you'll have to be with him for a full day to reassure him you love him and only him - You might not talk to that friend again...

- even after you start dating Leo is a prolific flirt - He would never cheat on you. Gods no. - But he still flirts with most any girl - It makes you uncomfortable? It's just the way he is. It's not a big deal! - Plus you're way out of his league so he wouldn't even dream of cheating on you! - It's just for fun! - He's joking around - Do you not trust him or something? - He loves you why wouldn't you trust him! - Don't you know that hurts his feelings?

Nico:

- He won't let you in. - Trying to bond with him is pointless. He'll want to know about you. - Tell him anything you want. - He'll insist! - But as soon as you wonder about him he gets upset. - Saying you're pushing him and he'll say what he does and doesn't wan to tell you. - But as soon as you do the same he says you just don't love him anymore

- He doesn't communicate his feelings. You're often left to wonder if he's upset because of something maybe you did? - Or maybe something happened while you were apart? - Don't pry though - He won't tell you anything if you do

- He has a tendency to ignore everything for a bit. Lock himself away. - Ignore everything and everyone. - He never tells you when he's gonna do this. - You're fully understanding though, life can be hard. - They started happening on important dates (birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions) and you didn't mind to much still but did express a bit of hurt. (After it kept happening over and over again) - He only responded with "well what do you want me to do about it?"

Frank:

- we all know Frank has pretty bad self esteem - He'll often say bad stuff about himself - Which leads to you reassuring him none of it is true - Which is fine at first - Everyone needs reassurance! - But it gets to a point that he'll say things like "I'm not as good as (insert friend) you should go and be with them" - Which then leads to you leaving that friend - It happens a lot - You slowly realize you pushed away a lot of people - When you try to stop pushing them away and bring them back in he'll immediately go back to what he's been saying - That he knew you liked them better than him - And you push them away again... - It's a unhealthy cycle

Will:

- Will treats you like a child - You can't do anything for yourself - At first it was cute - Like 'awww my boyfriend is so sweet and caring!' - Then it's 'oh. My boyfriend just thinks I'm completely incapable' - You wanna go climb the lava wall? No! He's told you before it's dangerous! - You wanna go on a walk? Take your weapon just in case. Yes he knows you're not going anyway dangerous! It's just in case! - Gods help you if you get hurt after he warning you of something - He'll lecture you for HOURS about how he was right and look where it landed you. If you just listened to him you wouldn't be hurt right now - You know he just does it because he cares but seriously - You're his age!

- Cant admit when he's wrong - He's had to be mature since he was young - So he almost always thinks he's right - He's had to control a whole cabin and raise so many people - He is one of the best doctors at camp - He had kept people alive! - So how do you know better than him! - Did he say something wrong? - You're probably imagining it! - Don't be stupid he wouldn't do that - At some point you kinda start to believe it

Magnus:

- he like many others has a lot of issues - He's pretty traumatized - He's not all that affectionate -  But that's okay! - You just want him to be comfortable! - You love him so much so you're not gonna pressure him into doing anything - However... - After a while you noticed he treats you not different than he treats his friends - No matter what - At first you thought he was just embarrassed around people - But he does it alone - It all hit you when you tried to hold his hand and he swatted you - He barley kisses you - Not good with lovey dovey words - Once you bring this up he's angry - He thought you understood him - That he had gone through a lot - Why were you being so demanding? - He's not comfortable! - Gods you're so selfish

Hearth:

- He's got a shit ton of emotional baggage - Which he's never really liked dumping onto people - So that turns into bottling it up - He won't tell you anything that he's been through (if you were there for it at least) - So much to the point that he barely opens up at all - So after a while of dating you realize - You know nothing about him - Is he allergic to anything? What's his favorite color? He wears black a lot but does he do that cause he looks good or cause he likes the color? Maybe both? - What are his dreams? What's his favorite food??? - You know nothing - He knows a lot about you though - Life everything - So he doesn't see the problem - What's the matter? - He knows everything about you and that's enough - You should really learn your limit

Alex:

- doesn't want to hear about your problems - Specially things that happened in your past - You had a nightmare about it? Well I guess you can come sleep over but don't be to loud - You need someone to rant to cause it's bothering you? Well TJ is down the hall so... - He just holds the opinion of "why are you complaining? It isn't that bad" - Alex has been through a lot - A lot lot - We know this - So unless what happened to you is equivalent or worse then what happened to her she won't care much - Did you have a house over your head? Yeah? Well then why are you upset? - Wanna know whats really upsetting? Getting kicked out of your house and being homeless!

(She/her) - you legit can't tell if she actually likes you - you know her flirting style is "be mean" but like... - The only reason you know she likes you is she confessed - But at this point you are actually starting to wonder if she hates you - She'll insult the things you like if she thinks it's not that interesting - She thinks that outfit is ugly? - She says it - Why are you so upset? You knew she was like this before you started dating so why are you crying? - Did you think she would change while in a relationship?

- believes that everyone's problems are their own - Which is partially true - But I mean in a bad way - You need to rant? Well not to Alex. Maybe TJ's door is open - If you had it worse then her maybe she'll listen - But she got through her shit alone so why can't you? - Why is she burdened with your problems - She doesn't bother you with hers! - She won't even pretended to care tho - She will say up front she doesn't care - That your problems aren't that big a deal - You're being dramatic - You're acting childish

[justmossyall]

depression hacks masterpost

these are things that will help with mental illness that aren't 'go outside, drink water, and everything will be fine!!!1!!!11!1!11!' those are good fs but they don't work on their own. these will actually help in one way or another :)

hell yeah let's go

open your windows. the fresh air and sunlight will do you good and it takes like 5 seconds.

go buy some plants, there are like a gazillion that are next to impossible to kill. and don't come at me with 'ohhh I'll probably find a way hahaha" NO. the plants will be so helpful! they produce oxygen, bring nature indoors which psychologically improves your mental state, and they're just nice to look at! you can name them! sculpt and/or paint little pots for them!

STOP LISTENING TO SAD MUSIC. I cannot stress this enough. it just makes things worse. please stop. make a playlist of all your favorite stupid, happy, pump-up songs and listen to them all the time until they get annoying. then repeat!

acquire a gazillion stuffed animals. so much serotonin for such a small price

get a water bottle and put fun stickers on it, and designate that water bottle to be only for water. nothing else goes in it. that way you can drink out of it for kind of a long time before needing to wash it. keep it filled with water and actually drink out of it. drink as much water as you can, all the time.

chew gum! idk why but it works bro. especially watermelon.

hug people and ask people to hug you. hugs are so amazing it's like pure happiness but with the added perk of Deep Pressure. it can be from your friends, family, s/o, whoever.

make sure there's a lot of light in your room. not good to wallow in darkness. put up fairy lights, get fun lamps, light candles, keep your blinds open, etc.

dress like how you want to feel. be colorful, fun, and comfortable. don't wear hoodies, sweatpants and ratty old shoes, I know it's appealing but it's just going to keep you in that depressed state. I like to wear dresses, colorful jeans, graphic tees from 5-Below, combat boots, and lots of funky earrings. (seriously 5-Below is a lifesaver for literally anything!!!) you can get a lot of these things for super cheap - I got a 20 pack of fun earrings like duckies, mushrooms, mini water bottles, etc. for like $11, and a lot of my colorful jeans are like 6 bucks at the thrift store. whatever your style is or whatever you want it to be, work to make that happen. because getting dressed is one of the simplest things you'll do in a day, so why not make the most of it?

doodle. it's fun and simple, and it'll give your hands something to do other than pick at your skin if you do that kind of stuff (see below).

on a similar note, make art!!!!! it doesn't have to be good!!!!!! just make art all the time, as often as you can. write crappy fanfiction. make friendship bracelets. sculpt a funky lil cat. draw your comfort characters. art is so healing and it will do wonders for you. even just like run your hands through a giant bag of beads like I do :P

get fidgets and bring them everywhere with you. this is more of an anxiety/stimming thing for me but I pick at my fingers, lips, pimples, eyebrows, etc., and it hurts a lot and will probably leave scars. fidgets are just amazing. I'm partial to tangles and infinity cubes :) gum and chewelry are good for this as well (for when I bite my fingers/clothes or chew the skin off my lips)

if you find yourself with a whole day with nothing to do and you don't have the energy to get up and do anything, go to the park. bring a blanket, some snacks, and headphones, and just lay there and listen to music. sleep. watch youtube. literally anything you would normally do when you don't have energy, except it's outside in the sun and grass and nature around other people who are doing the same thing! 10/10

get a pet if you can. even just fish, but really a fluffy, snuggly animal is probably best such as a dog or cat. OH MY GOD THEY HELP SO MUCH. ANIMALS ARE MAGIC. I don't think I've ever been sad while holding or petting my grandma's dog. (our family doesn't have one right now lol)

spray perfume/body spray on you. faster and easier than deodorant and it usually smells better

if you're gonna scroll, scroll pinterest. honestly, it's probably best to get rid of things like tiktok and snapchat, but that's kinda unrealistic for most people so I get it <3 pinterest is probably gonna be better than other social media cause it's more creative?? if you know what I mean?? and usually it's reading things and not mindlessly watching videos

if you don't have the energy to do stuff with your hair, put it up in a bun! fast simple and easy. takes like 5 seconds, even for someone with super thick curly hair like me. (or cut it short! but most of us aren't brave enough to do that lol)

eat fruit. sweet and comforting, but healthy!! so much better for you than junk food, and honestly it tastes better most of the time too. I recommend strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, watermelon, and cantaloupe. easy to take with you on the go and sooooo good <333

play calming video games such as animal crossing, minecraft, stardew valley, cats with soup (if you're into mobile games), etc. puzzle games are good too! if you want something more combat-y, I would recommend the zelda games or forager. still chill and mellow but has more combat and story/lore

garden if you can. I know this kind of ties in with having plants in your room, but if you're able and you have the energy, keep a flower and/or vegetable garden. there's something so beautiful in putting your hands in the warm dirt, smelling your freshly-planted flowers, eating sun-infused vegetables that taste infinitely better than store-bought. it's so nice, but I know it's not for everyone so don't worry about it if you don't get around to it <3

sleep in the bus/car on the way to school if you're tired. not a perfect solution but better than falling asleep in class

inhale through your nose, not your mouth. it's better for your lungs and you'll get better air quality that way. it also helps calm you better than mouth breathing, and you can't exactly smell the fresh air through your mouth :P

read. sit down and read a book. carry one with you wherever you go. spend a weekend day in the library with a huge stack of books just reading. it's so calming and helps stimulate your brain. doesn't matter what you read as long as it's making you happy :)

surround yourself with color, not dark drab colors. hang up art and posters on your walls, get bright blankets and pillows, lay out a tiny lil carpet, make bead curtains and string them up on your curtain rod, set out little figurines/sculptures around your room. put color and life everywhere around you, and that will start to seep into your soul.

tea is always good. or if you don't like tea, hot water with lemon juice and honey. basically the same :)

if you ever just don't want to do something, like you just absolutely don't want to get up and do _ thing, think about future you. would they be like "bro thanks so much you really helped me out there" if you did the thing? if yes, then do it, no matter how impossible it seems. you'll thank yourself later.

a statement that is near and dear to my heart: if you feel like everyone hates you, sleep. if you feel like you hate everyone, eat. if you feel like you hate yourself, shower.

NO MORE SU!C!DE JOKES. ever. the end! replace "i'm literally gonna kms" jokes or anything along those lines with "i'm literally gonna flop to the floor" or "i'm literally gonna go ham bananas on this place" or whatever wild bullshit pops into your brain.

watch studio ghibli movies. the most amazing things to ever exist. I have never felt sad while watching a ghibli movie. they are basically the definition of peace.

take a bubble bath!!!!! :D

making your bed helps for some reason??? why, I have no idea. but it does bro

get excited about things. smile when you hear your favorite song. hug your amazon package when it comes in. count down the days until a holiday. laugh with joy when you have an amazing day. it makes things so much better.

an important addition: bring snacks everywhere

that's all for now, lmk if you have anything else to add!!! love you guys, I promise it gets better <3

[rottenraccoons]

Not sure if this has already been asked yet, but how did the team come up with the four love interests in the first place? I feel like the hardest part of developing a character is figuring out how to start. All four feel so wonderfully complex, and are not very "trope-y," which is what I struggle with the most. Thanks!

Aw, thank you! I love answering stuff like this, so I decided to go through my process on Keir and rambled a bit. I'll put my answer under a readmore for brevity.

For us, we started building Obscura with the idea that we wanted to do something dark and mature, and began with developing a setting. Once we picked and started building out the marketplace under the mountain, we could start asking ourselves "why would anyone go to this place?" and work from there. (Vesper's fractum anima is one answer to this question that we really liked for the MC.)

"Thief" feels like a pretty natural role for a marketplace, and Tobi made it clear that she wanted to develop a very dark character, so I thought a more heroic Robin Hood-type character would be a nice contrast. My original concept of Keir was for a thief who burns for justice in a deeply unjust setting; think shounen-anime hero and you're in the right neighbourhood. Pretty tropey, and I say that with love! Proto-Keir would be a delight to write in a different story.

But the rest of the team didn't think that type of character really suited the dark tone we wanted to work with, and they were right. So we took the trope and twisted it. Yes, he's a good man who burns for justice in an unjust world; and he is extremely burned out. And that twist on the formula unlocked Keir for me and the rest of the team. Burned-out Keir could be exhausted and sarcastic and even cynical about the world, bitter about the state of the marketplace and very protective of Mouse Hole as a place he can improve.

This isn't to say that "burned-out activist Robin Hood" is an original characterisation that's never been done before; TV Tropes has a whole page on the Knight in Sour Armor, which deals with similar characters. But it was the foundation we could build on as a team to make a character that felt strong enough to be a romantic interest.

I've mentioned this before, but one of the inspirations I draw from when I write about the marketplace is the awful Web3/crypto environment, a topic I enjoy reading about mostly for the schadenfreude and ended up learning about as a consequence. For Keir, I use concepts like activist burnout and compassion fatigue, things I learned about much more intimately in 2020 (you can guess why). Taking these real life ideas and bringing them into my writing is my favourite way to add depth and texture to characters and settings. If you're looking to do the same, try looking outside fiction and see what things interest you, then bring them back to your fiction.

Not to say that tropey characters are a bad thing! I could write a whole other essay on the utility of character tropes, especially in the world of romance games. Tropes can be a great place to start constructing characters to ensure that they all have their own appeal, and they're just fun to experience as a reader, especially when it's one of your faves. There's no shame in being a bit tropey, if it suits the story you want to tell!

(And if you're looking for a bit of extra ~secret sauce~: give your characters two things they want super badly, but getting one thing will compromise the other. Safety and love are a classic pair; safety often means staying closed off from other people to avoid being hurt, love requires opening up to others. Then let them struggle with those competing wants.)

[chimkin-samich]

Hi!

I have had a block for both writing and drawing for several years. I look at your works with longing in my eyes and think how wonderful it would be to draw regularly again. I was never particularly talented and had many gaps in learning to draw, but I enjoyed it. Now I don't know how to start drawing or writing. My laptop is full of unfinished stories. I have lots of ideas for drawings, but it's hard for me to get down to work.

Therefore, my question is: Do you have any advice for people who haven't drawn/written for several years and would really like to get back to it, but can't motivate themselves, have no ideas, etc.? Or quite the opposite. They have lots of ideas, but for some reason they can't draw anything?

Greetings and have a nice morning/day/evening/night!

Hello! Sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to make sure I could respond properly to this so I thought it over a lot, I’m going to put it under a read more cuz it’s gonna get long lol

I (sly) am kinda in the same position as you at least when it comes more to art, writing ive kinda cracked the block but still trying to break through the ice, all the art on our blog is Ferals art, I only complete the line work and shading (but not always) I haven’t drawn any of my own stuff in probably a few years but I’m trying to get back into it cuz I miss it as well, I completely get the whole feeling of looking at Feral’s art and wanting to create my own but finding it so difficult to do

For the art aspect my plan is to start at square 1, start how I first starting drawing, which for me was to look up refs, animals and draw them by sight, just to get back into the groove of trying to bring back that muscle memory, maybe you started by tracing images, you could trace only the rough outlines and then shade and detail them, just something simply and easy, you probably won’t be happy with the results (I know I certainly won’t be with my own) but it’s a start

Look up things that you enjoy, draw your squad, incorrect quotes to do with ocs maybe even draw them out, try and keep it simple, you don’t need to create a masterpiece on the first day back, any attempt is a step forward even if you dislike it, try it out at least once a day everyday, a simple doodle just for fun or to exercise your muscle memory again, the first part is gonna be hard and messy, that’s totally ok! All that matters is the attempt!

For the writing aspect try and keep it simple as well, focus on making short one-shots or even just bullet point dialogues, your old unfinished writing isn’t going anywhere, when you feel comfortable enough to attempt to continue it just go for it!

I had a big gap in my writing periods and sometimes I still go a few months with out touching any of my stories, blocks happen and are normal, something that I try to get back into is read other people’s work, both to see the writing style and to get some inspiration to continue my own works

When I actually get down to actually writing my story I just dump down the story as I think it, I just keep writing even if it looks messy and grammatically incorrect to at least get the story moving and progressing. After I have the rough story down, is when I go back to correct spelling mistakes, add more details/dialogues or events in between to create a much better flow for the story

I usually do this multiple times for each fic I create, usually in between pauses (either due to blanking on ideas or just cuz I wasn’t feeling it) so whenever I reopen my doc, I just reread and add on, then I do it again one or two more times once it’s completed

I struggle a lot with perfectionism when it comes to my art and writing, and unfortunately it’s a big killer for my motivation, especially when I see others that make better works than me. I’ve been slowly unlearning that urge to make everything perfect, by just allowing myself to have messy and rough works, it’s not always going to come out how I want it but at least I got it as close as I could in the moment with my current skill level

I like to tell myself, the more I keep doing it, the more I’ll improve, and I’ll always be able to come back with more ideas and skill to remake this better than my first attempts, just because I did it doesn’t mean I can’t try to do it again

Being easier on yourself does wonders (I know easier said than done unfortunately 😭) but your practically having to relearn skills that have gotten rusty, even if you were doing great before, your gonna have to build back up to that point, it’s just like exercising a muscle ✨

I hope this was able to help! I wish you much luck in your journey back into art and writing!

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

Unknown Pt. 2

Pt. 1 HERE

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: in this second part reader finally finds out something more about her ability, though it was not what she expected there will be someone to calm her down.

Warnings: none

Pairing: Wednesday x Fem!Reader

Not a lot of Wednesday interaction here but the one that is there is a key one! I promise you’ll see more interactions with them in the next chapter! Thank you for reading and please like!✨

———

The following day you woke up in that empty room of yours, too anxious to start this day. It would be the first time following lessons here at Nevermore, and even though you were VERY nervous, you were curious as to what the subjects were and to how they would be taught. You decided it would be a clever idea to skip breakfast because you wanted to avoid being made fun of. Plus, you were still wearing Wednesday’s clothes because you forgot to dry your uniform.

As you had skipped breakfast and had nothing to do, you decided to head over to the first class, it was the one with Miss Thornhill, who taught about all kinds of plants, wether they were edible or not, good or bad or even if they were usable in the medic field. You certainly had made some noise while getting in the greenhouse and the teacher heard you, coming your way with a small (and somewhat creepy) smile on her face.

“You must be (Y/N), right? It’s nice to have you here. Why are you here so soon?” She asked. Too many questions, you thought. “Yeah that’s me. I’m here so soon because I have nowhere to be and I don’t want to get bullied. I figured that here I could just avoid them, since no one wants to go to class early so here I am” you said and looked at the woman in front of you, who then gave you a small smile. “Mrs. Weems Told me what happened yesterday and told me about you. If you need Anybody to talk to I’m here” you nodded as a silent thanks and then everybody got in the room.

Everybody sat together as the desks were made for two people, and you sat alone but Wednesday and Enid sat behind you, saying you a good morning. Wednesday noticed how you still had her clothes on, of course you did, you had nothing else to wear and the orphanage had no plans on bringing you your stuff. During that class you caught a glimpse of someone’s ability. Xavier could animate drawings, Yoko was a vampire and Enid a werewolf. You also wondered what you were and you probably always will wonder that.

The other classes went on more or less the same way of the first one and you were getting tired of hearing people whisper things about you then look at you and giggle. This is why at lunch when you knew everybody would be together, you decided to go take a look in the woods behind the school. You loved the nature, and this forest, as creepy as it was, was also really beautiful.

You sat down against the tree to eat your lunch, when suddenly you heard the sounds of the winter leaves cracking under someone’s feet. You turned around to see Wednesday come towards you. “(Y/N), I finally found you” she said and you stood up to match her height, kind of, since she was really short. “There’s a monster going around and killing people in these woods. You shouldn’t be out here on your own. Come on let’s get back to school” she said and tried to get you to go back inside the building.

You chuckled at what you heard. A monster? That couldn’t be possible. “Yeah right, a monster. Seriously Addams?” You asked her, raising your arms to the side only to let them fall back against your sides in annoyance “did the others put you up to this?” You asked her, using an accusing tone. You truly couldn’t trust anyone… “I act under no one’s command but my own, (Y/N). I’m serious, this thing has killed a lot of people already and it could get both of us too if we don’t get back inside the school” she said raising her tone a bit. She was dead serious, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to believe a word she said.

“Why would I believe you Addams!?” You raised your tone as a consequence to Wednesday doing the same thing. Your pupils squinted, taking the shape of a cat eye pupil. Wednesday furrowed her eyebrows. She could see something had changed in your appearance, but she was too distant to pinpoint what it actually was “because I have no reason to lie to a no one” she said without even thinking of it. Typical, she always does this. “Yeah right. If I’m a no one them why stand up for me when Bianca pushed me in the shower, huh?” Your hands, and most specifically your fingers were starting to take the shape of claws, nails getting longer and pointy “if I’m a no one here and yet you stood up to me, why not stand up to me when we were at the same normie school? What’s the difference now!?”

The white part of your eyes was slowly turning into a darker color, going to black. Only then Wednesay realized what had changed. “(Y/N).” The shorter girl tried calling for you in a lower voice tone, but you kept on rambling about what was different from then. “(Y/N)!” Wednesday called again, this time in a much different, higher and more authoritative tone. “WHAT!” You snapped at her. She lowered her tone once again “your hands.”

You looked at her confused and then looked at your hands. Your expression then completely switched from a mad one to a panicked one as you looked at Wednesday as to ask for help. You didn’t know what had happened to you. All you knew was that you were scared and you didn’t know what was happening to you. You had never felt emotions this strong before. “It’s okay. Try to breathe slower” she instructed you, and following her advice your hands turned back to normal and so did your eyes.

“Come on let’s get you back to the school and tell Mrs. Weems what happened, before she kills us for being out here for too long, as much as I’d want that.” The brunette said as she started walking back to the school. As soon as you got to her office Wednesday explained what she saw and then she left as Weems asked her to. “Can you tell me what happened (Y/N)? What did you do that made you uh… change your aspects?” She asked with a kind, soft voice tone. God that woman really knew how to talk to people, especially the most sensitive ones.

“I told you I don’t know exactly… all I know is that I thought Wednesday was lying to me and I got really mad.. I’m used to people lying to me but this time I just felt different. I didn’t know what was happening to me until Wednesday made me notice and calmed me down. I don’t know what happened to me and it scares me a lot” you told her honestly as you wrapped your arms around yourself, this was something you’d do whenever you feel insecure.

Weems noticed that and tried to make you feel at ease, but at the same time she had to break the news to you. “I don’t know what to say (Y/N), we never had someone like you here before. It seems that whatever it is, it’s triggered by strong emotions and today you probably awakened it. Plus, by how Wednesday described it, it can’t be something good.” She sighed looking at you with a helpless look, she truly wanted to help you but she didn’t know how to.

“We’ll keep an eye on you okay? In the meantime I’ll do some research so I can help you figure out what it is and how to control it, there must be something in our books that can help us figure out what’s going on with you. We don’t know yet what calms your… instincts, but since apparently Wednesday’s presence helped you earlier, look for her whenever you feel it happening again okay?” You nodded at the woman in front of you, then looked away like a lost puppy.

“Now go rest for the night and try to stay calm, okay? You’ll find s little something in your bed when you get inside” she said smiling motherly at you, then watched as you left towards Ophelia hall. You tried ignoring everyone you met and as soon as you stepped inside your room, you saw a bunch of clothes on your bed, and a small note, from Weems.

‘Dear (Y/N).

Given how badly you’ve been treated during your life, I deem it necessary that you now start living like you deserve and that you get treated like you deserve. This is why I bought you some nice clothes, they’re all new so all you have to do is take away the target. Eventually you’ll fit in here, trust me. Nevermore might not feel so perfect now, but it will soon.

Psa: I’ve had a little help when picking the clothes as I didn’t know what your tastes were. These are two completely different styles but who knows, maybe you can mix them and make your own style!’

You did take a better look at the clothes and it didn’t take you much to realize who had helped Weems as half of the clothes were white and black, and the other half was fully colored.