#And that can become an issue in RL if you play too hard

[fanworldbuildingfun]

First impressions from Mirage gameplay: they didn’t joke around when they said Basim will be quick. Almost looks like teleportation XD Granted, this particular part - only when he is doing chain assassination

Still pretty fast otherwise. And talkative! Might be the snippet they used, but Basim seems found of thinking aloud

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #2: A Maiden Dark and Fair, but make it f!Jon/Ned

I absolutely adore female!Jon Snow fics because they open up a whole range of opportunities not available to the canon character. A male bastard might only find acceptance on The Wall, but a female bastard is inherently less threatening to parochial systems. (For a RL example, several fille légitimée de France ended up married to legitimate uncles/cousins in an attempt to shore up power.) And all of that doesn't even begin to touch on the fact that a female Heir to the Iron Throne allows for a possibility of a marriage alliance outside House Targaryen the way a male Heir does not. So here is a plot bunny that's been hopping about for a while.

Just imagine it:

The North might rise for a male bastard if they believed Jon Snow to be the only child of their heir, but it'd be a hard sell to get it to do the same for an illegitimate daughter. So Ned Stark can pass off his sister's child as his older brother's without anyone raising too many eyebrows or pissing off his wife too much. (Cat's still pissed, because Brandon was her betrothed, but it's a less potent anger than your new husband having an affair and choosing to raise the child.)

So f!Jon Snow (I'm calling her Alysanne instead of Joanna or Lyanna or Lyarra, because I like the lore throwback) grows up thinking she's the bastard daughter of Brandon Stark and Ashara Dayne. When she's young and all elbows and knees, they still call her The Bastard of Winterfell. After puberty hits, some start calling her The White Rose instead - in part as a play on her last name, in part because I feel she'd have the whole Snow White thing going for her.

Then, shortly after Aly turns 14 and the North starts wondering if Ned is going to marry the girl off to his heir to forestall any questions of inheritance between Brandon's line and his own, Lady Caitlyn dies in childbirth. Her child - maybe another boy born 2 or 3 years after Rickon - dies with her.

Ned is heartbroken and sort of retreats into melancholy. Steward Poole and Maester Luwin divide the Lord's duties between them, calling on young Lord Robb for those which require a Stark. And those tasks which in times past would have fallen to Lady Caitlyn - running the household, overseeing the staff, caring for the children - fall to Aly instead.

After about two or three months of this, I imagine Lord Umber comes to Winterfell for some reason and manages to knock some sense into Ned - you still have a family to care for and The North to rule etc - and manages to plant an idea in the process: your niece is practically running the keep singlehanded and your bannermen will be pushing you to marry one of their daughters or sisters before long, so why not tie up any issue of inheritance once and for all and wed the girl yourself?

Ned really can't argue without revealing that Alysanne Snow is really Alysanne Targaryen. Besides, all he's ever wanted to do is keep his family safe and, admittedly, Umber's idea is such a handy way doing so The Old Gods might well have made Caitlyn bleed out in childbed after five easy births to see it happen.

And so Aly becomes the second Lady Stark.

It's... awkward at first - how could it not be? - but they're Starks and they do their duty (and, though it would probably pain Ned to admit it, he likes Aly rather more than he liked Cat at first. He'd respected Cat and cared for her, certainly, but Aly is Northern. It's easier with Aly. She understands in a way Cat never could, even if yes that's because he raised her to be that way. So awkward.)

Actually, the whole how do you go from being uncle and niece to husband and wife would probably be the bulk of the fic, because there's so much to explore there. Plus the inherent angst of do I tell my wife that I've been lying about her parents all along? To say nothing of my cousins I was raised beside are now my stepchildren. How do I make that work?

By the time Robert arrives to kick off the events of S1, three or four years have passed. Aly's 18 or so and given birth to two sons - Torrhen and Cregan - and the fact that the king is lusting over his best friend's wife is just unpleasant for all involved, and Ned ends up agreeing to become Hand of the King mostly just to get Robert out of the North before one of his bannermen decides to take offense to Robert's wandering eyes in a permanent way.

Afterwards, well... Ned doesn't set out to put his wife on the throne, but it happens. He's somewhat more cautious this time around because Aly's not "safe" at the wall the way Jon was in canon, not to mention Torrhen and Cregan are the same age Rhaenys and Aegon were when they were brutally murdered, and as such rather more successful.

Dorne ends up being surprisingly helpful after they realize that Ned intends to put Aly on the throne in her own right and abdicate The North in favor of Robb, in the Dornish fashion. They still don't like that Rhaegar spurned Elia the way he did, but better a Dragon than a Lion or Stag.

And so Aly becomes Queen Alysanne Targaryen, second of her name. Ned stays as Hand of the Queen as well as her consort. Torrhen, namesake of the King Who Knelt, becomes known as The White Wolf and spends a considerable amount of time after his majority north of The Wall...

And that's all I've got. Feel free to adopt the bunny if you can give it a good home, just link me if you ever do...

Other Jon Snow Headcanons: Aegon the Unyielding | Aemon the Adventurous | Lady Arryn | Lady Baratheon | Lady Lannister | Lady Stark | Prince Consort | Prince of Summerhall | Queen Mother

More Terrible Fic Ideas

[crollalanzaa]

There’s a reason Martha Jones is my favourite Dr Who companion and it’s her parting scene where she talks about her friend being in love with a guy who doesn’t love her back and will never love her back, and Martha is talking about her friend in reference to the Doctor because she loves him and finds him extraordinary but he’s never going to feel like that about her. So, she has a choice to stay or leave and she chooses to leave saying something like ‘This is me saying goodbye’. She gives up her exciting TARDIS adventures and life with the doctor because as wonderful as it is, she needs to move forward with her life and avoid the ghastly crash of reality when the adrenaline leaves.

This is a roundabout way of saying that I believe I’ve written my last fic. I started writing fic around fourteen years ago and for a time it was the absolute pinnacle of my existence. Obsessive but also fulfilling, I’d finally found an outlet for my creativity and the frustration I felt with everything around me. It served me well and I honestly think it gave me a sense of worth not much else has (acting perhaps?)

But the fic crash after I post hasn’t changed and although I was able to push through that with more writing or the influx of kudos/comments etc, that has become so much harder in recent times.

(Behold the wangsty pity party starts below)

From first thought to actual posting, I spent two years on one fic. (Not the last one) Two years. Not that I thought about it every day, or spent as long writing but there was a process rumbling away and the fic was as near to the vision in my head as I could have got it. And it barely scraped double figures in kudos and hits. I did receive some lovely comments and I truly appreciate that, but I look at the two years and think, ‘wow, so not worth it!’

And there’s what I call my Hirugami moment where the realisation that no one will die if I give up, makes so much sense and the relief is immeasurable. But then again, Hirugami was an amazing middle blocker and I’m not in that league.

And other thoughts rumble in my head, because a few years ago, while I wasn’t a BNF by any means, there was a thrill of anticipation when I posted. Cake or Break was a wild ride, and Icarus was wilder. (I will absolutely never forget the Christmas Day when I posted a chapter which led to IwaOi reuniting - ahhhhh good times)

However most of that has gone, and even though the comments I can get are glorious, there’s a very real feeling at the back of my head and a thousand whispers telling me not that I’m a bad writer, but that I’m an unpopular. Not necessarily an unpopular writer - I’m probably too boring for that - but an unpopular person … and I’m finding that incredibly hard to face up to. Like, there are issues with friends in rl and issues with some ppl online and there comes a point where I’m either overthinking and that’s unhealthy or I accept that actually it’s a me problem and I’m the issue. Ah well, my dog loves me. (Ends pity party. Sorry for the wank but need to get off chest.)

My problem now is I have nothing to move onto. There is the possibility of more plays, but I’m one of many auditioning for a dearth of parts. So I think about going back to my old job, but have some health issues which mean my wrists are truly fucked and you have no idea how many times you need to use scissors, or paper knives, or pick up books in a school. They’d drop off after a week.

In the end, Martha Jones was a doctor, who then worked at UNIT and Torchwood.

In the end, Martha Jones is a fictional character and I’m not.

But I’m off the TARDIS for a while because as much as I love writing, it ain’t never loving me back but moves on without me.

Here’s my dog. I love her.

[south-park-meta]

why do you think cartman is abusing stan? they get along ok

I think Cartman's abusive towards everyone with Kyle and Butters getting the worst of it. But I have come around more to the way Cartman's abusive to Stan than when I made my initial analysis of their relationship. I said there that Cartman attacked things that mostly Stan's not bothered by, and some of that's true. Like, attacking him for caring about animals isn't something that affects him very often.

But with that said, there IS a core of attacking Stan for (lacking) masculinity and that actually does seem to be something he's anxious about...just not to Cartman directly. Cartman regularly calls him a pussy, gay, weak, seeming like a girl. The Cissy is probably the best example of the name-calling because it encompasses basically all of it

Do you know your girlfriend's going around tellin' everyone that you're gay?! [Stan looks around] Oh yeah! She's got the whole school believin' that she's attracted to girls, but she's dating you! So what does that make you, Stan?! A girl! STAN-AN'S A GIR-RL! You'd better curb your dog, Stan! You'd better curb your dog before people start ripping on you!

He tells Stan he's too weak to control his girlfriend, that he's gay, and that he's a girl all at once. Stan actually has a reaction (looking around, looking nervous, and he does end up talking to his dad and Principal Victoria. Cartman GOT a reaction, just not one he wanted).

The thing is, Stan's masculinity IS the thing he's most defensive of, and is his 'weak point' in relation to Kyle being Jewish, Kenny being poor, Butters being naive. He gets nervous about seeming gay and has to overcome it. He does get ripped on/ name-called/dismissed for not being manly enough or seeming gay by both his uncle, who he looks up to, and his dad, who he does (for most of the show) have a mutually loving relationship with. MOST of the 'Stan has a moment of character growth in the way of accepting who he is' comes down to him being okay with shirking stereotypical masculinity. Cartman is a master at honing in on weaknesses and he ABSOLUTELY has Stan's down.

So, then, why doesn't Cartman really tear the shit out of him more?

The thing is that Stan doesn't rise to the bait in angry outbursts. Kyle does. Kenny does, sometimes, too. Butters is specifically dismissed as a Kyle punching bag replacement because he doesn't. But Cartman also can't just casually abuse him constantly the way he does Butters, or put Stan's dick in his mouth while he sleeps, or give him a poop moustache, because Stan would up and leave the friendship, or actually physically beat him up. It has to be a verbal or emotional, non-physical attack. Stan doesn't get ripped on by Cartman more because he doesn't tend to take the bait in a way that would be fun and would let Cartman continue to feed off of it and really tear him to pieces.

So why doesn't Stan take the bait? Is he not upset by it?

The thing is he DOES get upset about this kind of thing. He just tends not to confront it directly. Instead he tends to want to compensate for the accusations. He tries to force Sparky to be straight. He doesn't play along at the wild west show because Wendy's there. He shoots and kills Skuzzlebutt. He becomes hypercritical of Gary and chews him out for Mormonism. And in each and every one of these cases, the best choice is consistently for him not to worry about seeming like anything except what he is. I think The Cissy is a step forward for him in, instead of outright denying who he is, he just sits down and questions it instead. Personally I think there hasn't been another comment on it since he came to the conclusion he is a boy (I know there're nb headcanons for him and I won't pick at it too much because I don't think it runs contrary to his character per se, I just don't agree with it. I see it as more of another masculinity introspection than really specifically a gender one), but I think it's a step forward for his character growth. He has multiple times gone through an arc of 'hide who you are, then realize who you are is really an asset', and sometimes that gets to a point of 'fuck what people think' but often it just kind of is what it is and he doesn't really do anything with it. He still cares about not being manly enough, and often the lesson of it is 'yeah you ARE kind of a pussy but it's fine, people will like you anyway, or being a pussy is beneficial to helping people'. While the recent seasons have made Stan more depressed and miserable, he's also FINALLY starting to get to a point of-- instead of worrying what makes other people like him, what makes him an asset to other people-- 'What makes me like myself? What makes me who I am?'

ANYWAY with all that said, the reason Cartman doesn't get much out of moments like this is that Stan often doesn't have a reaction, period. Sometimes it's because he probably literally doesn't care. He doesn't always value Cartman's opinion, and he does seem able to let a lot of comments go as just being bullshit. The other thing is that if it actually gets to the point of GETTING a reaction, it's not one that would be fun for Cartman. Literally the only thing that's ever come out of Stan reacting to the insecurity that Cartman harps on (whether because of Cartman or not) is that he either suppresses or questions it, and decides he likes himself more as he was to start with. Like he very consistently has improved himself through being criticized on this very point.

So does he have a point that Cartman can hurt him on?

Absolutely, and that point is Kyle.

Stan consistently has stronger, more hurt, more violent reactions to Cartman when it's Kyle that Cartman's going after. When Cartman makes a comment that Kyle's going to die, Stan tells him not to say things like that (even though people regularly die or talk about death around them). When Cartman's treating Kyle unfairly and Kyle can't do anything about it himself, Stan rights it. Even when Stan and Kyle aren't getting along, multiple seasons after Stan told Kyle that he was destroying the last thread of friendship they had left by siding with Cartman in the GOT arc, he still takes tit-for-tat revenge on Cartman in Band in China for Kyle's sake.

The way to get Kyle to respond in a fun way is for Cartman to attack Kyle.

The way to get Stan to respond in a fun way is for Cartman to attack Kyle.

I think it's noteworthy that when Cartman checks out on the 'broship' it's after Stan has checked out on Kyle, and pointedly stayed out of Kyle's fight with Cartman even after Kyle asked him to get involved with it. It's not worth keeping Stan tied in to the group because he's not coming to Kyle's defense, so there's no fun to be had in Stan hanging around. It's ALSO noteworthy that Kyle is equally blindsided by both of them.

But, okay, Cartman is nice to Stan sometimes. He's probably nicer to him than he is pretty much any other character. I think Cartman was playing a balancing act and lost.

He wants Stan and Kyle to be friends, because their friendship is important to get them both riled up. But he wants himself to be the most important to both of them, and that means he HAS to knock them down a peg in each other's opinions. They need to be friends with each other, good enough friends that Stan wants to defend Kyle when Cartman's mean to him and Kyle can't defend himself. It's no fun if Kyle's literally defenseless and Cartman gets jack for a reaction. But they have to be best friends with Cartman, because Cartman has a massive ego. This is a pretty damn hard line to walk.

But here are some nice things that Cartman's done for Stan:

-He came and hung out with him on Tegridy, and had solo activities bonding with him through board games and things like that.

-He helped Stan with the drug ring in Hummels and Heroin

-He saved the pangolin

The first two things are a clear spit in Kyle's face. Kyle is the core group who seems most disconnected from what's going on on Tegridy. Cartman is very clearly trying to take Kyle's place as Stan's go-to. Around(ish, keeping in mind the show's internal timeline) the same time, through the GOT arc, he is focusing his attention on bonding with Kyle.

Likewise, Kyle tells Stan outright he's not going to help with the Hummels problem in the second case. Cartman gets involved because Stan says he 'needs' him. He's willing to help because it puts him in direct competition with Kyle; he's helping Stan when Kyle told him to figure it out himself. He is weasling in on the best friend role.

In the last case, I think it's because he still wanted the 'broship' to work, and like I said I think he did up until Stan gave up on his friendship with Kyle. Stan's having a complete mental breakdown, which would cause issues and not be enjoyable on Cartman's end, so he'll give him a bone and let him maintain his sanity so Cartman can keep having fun pitting Stan and Kyle against each other while being besties with them both. He just flew too close to the sun and lost with it because Stan was teetering on the edge for the friendship since YGO and the next episode pushed him over.

In conclusion, Cartman's actions with Stan are 100% meant to manipulate him and emotionally destroy him. It just happens that Stan takes attacks on himself pretty internally and might even come out stronger for it. So for the most part if everything else is going fine, he's a tough nut to crack. The stuff that really fucks him up and tears him apart mentally is attacking Kyle, or attacking his friendship with Kyle.

[isabellehemlock]

pluto taurus scorpio 2H 11H :D

Aw thanks for the ask Wolfie! 🤩❤️ It's another long one so I'll put it under a break :)

pluto ⇢ tell something supernatural that happened to you

Oh boy ~ well bearing in mind that I'm in a shared space and likely could have someone rolling their eyes at me for any of the stories I got, maybe I'll have you DM me and I'll share those there lol.  But basic gist: I've had enough experiences where I feel very secure in my belief of an afterlife.

taurus ⇢ what's your favorite food?

I don't know if I have a fave food per se, for multiple health reasons, but I can say I tend to lean towards bread and pasta options that are fairly plain when I do order things (I don't tend to be able to taste multiple ingredients in a dish - mostly in relation to chronic sinuses, so no sense in spending money on complex dishes when some noodles and cheese will do the trick lol).  I do joke that since I'm not too much into sugary stuff this body of mine is a pasta and bread body, not a sugar one lol.

scorpio ⇢ do you feel comfortable talking about taboo things?

I think it depends on what, and for what purpose?  Like I have worked in human services and done mediation work and am very open to discussions of trauma and the healing journey.  I've heard some heavy things, I've lived through heavy things, that society would consider "taboo" to discuss - only we can decide the boundaries around discussions of these things (like trauma is valid, *and* you cannot use it as a weapon to lash out at others), and depending on how detailed someone wants to get I might need to schedule that sort of heavy subject matter, but I'm definitly open to being a sounding board as someone is processing feelings and gently encouraging resources they might like to look into, or even virtually sitting in the discomfort with them for a moment because trauma likes to declare "you are alone in this" and I think in a moment where I'm able to say "I'm listening with an open mind, and open heart" that that can help combat that narrative.

Of course I'm only speaking for myself, and in general we should always do check ins first - even among friends - before we start, and even during the conversation, so if someone needs a break they can tap out and tap back in when ready. And also everyone has their own emotional boundaries and no one should feel forced to be more vulnerable with someone, or be held responsible for someone else's journey - or be guilted to holding space for someone. Just yeah, check in with someone first ;)

Since I'm in fandom for the fun, light stuff, I do have a fairly firm self policy on the kind of content I want to invest energy consuming - this is partially because I do a *lot* of emotional and mental labor with both my own healing, but also because I'm an advocate among my family's health issues (including my own), a legal co-guardian of an adult family member, special needs children, and volunteer where mediation and inter personal dynamics are fairly at the core of it - but anyway, it's a big reason why I don't engage with certain tags in fandom because the work it would require to consume would tap me out. And like I said, I'm here for some art therapy for processing and healing sure, but in general I use fandom as play therapy to lighten things up with the rl things I got going on.

However all that being said, I'm very open to someone sharing a hard time they're going through, because I know my boundaries and capacity for holding space for someone - and if I need a break, I'll gently point that out *and* plan for a time to come back to it.  If it becomes a subject matter that I'm unable to hold, or validate (like someone with toxic behavior who is trying to harass etc), then I'll place a boundary around that as well.  But all in all, I've heard plenty, been through plenty, and am good one on one talking about heavy things, especially under the context of processing to heal and growing on our journeys.

2H ⇢ do you have any object that you like a little too much? what is it and why?

I'm fairly decent about not placing too much importannce on materialistic items (probably because I grew up poor lol), however one object I've been wearing for years is my St. Dominic medal - I received it when I made my temporary promises as a Lay Dominican, and use it as my scapular essentially.  About a year later a local priest gave me a Miraculous Medal, that had been blessed by the Holy Father, so they both clang around my neck for some three years now lol.  I'm making my final promises next month, but I'm not sure if I'm adding anything else to the necklace!

11H ⇢ describe your friends in 3 words

Loving, playful, inspiring ❤️

[spacegoatart]

Hi! I've seen your post about Treasure planet headcanons, soo here is a bunch of mine:

• Silver speaks multiple languages; sometimes he mixes them up as he goes, especially when he's tired, and ends up with "wait what" moments. Some of those become inside jokes between him and Jim.

• Silver hums space shanties when he's working; sometimes he isn't really aware that he's doing that, and if someone (Jim or maybe Sarah Hawkins) asks him what song he is humming, he may not be able to answer right away. He taught Jim a bunch of them, and Morph learned them by constantly overhearing; sometimes the little shapeshifter would either copy Silver's humming or morph into a musical instrument(tin whistle, harmony, maybe a really small lute/guitar) and literally play itself, or morph into whatever lyrics say–tiny ships, aetherium sea monsters, you name it.

• The eye in the bonzabeast stew isn't an actual eye plucked from someone – its actually a fruit from Silver's homeworld, basically a really freaky looking space cherry tomato; it is tricky to industrially grow and harvest even in its natural range, so there is little export and not many people know about it. It is tasty, though, especially pickled, and Silver likes it. They are legally required to be sold in opaque glassware on some worlds, though.

• Jim really likes the texture of solar sails(I hc it to be similar to a really tough, but smooth synthetic, like an outer layer of clothes for winter sports–not stretchy and making nice crinkly/hissy sounds when rubbed against itself) also, solar sails are ironed together rather than sewn when repairs are needed, and when Jim gets his hands onto a real sail iron press for the first time and gets a feel of patching up a sail, he nearly cries with happiness(he put the sails on his solar surf together with homemade instruments, and it was a lot of trial, error and burned fingers)

• Jim has either inattentive or combined type ADHD(a good bit of projecting here, gotta admit); it added a lot of stress for him, both during his sailing on RLS Legacy and in the Academy; Silver is mildly confused, but supportive dad.

• Jim learned some really fancy cooking skills from Silver–he knew how to cook before, but had a pretty utilitarian attitude towards it, not a passion for it. Sometimes he stress cooks or stress cleans, and Silver has to remind him to drink water/stretch/take a break, kid, seriously, you've spent literally hours pacing around, you'll have blisters on your feet if you won't stop

I have more, but I feel like I shared a lot for the first time. Hope you're having a good time ^_^

yess thank u for these, i love all of these :D i wanted to talk about each one so it gets kind of wordy, i really enjoyed seeing these (sorry it took me a few days to finally answer, i meant to answer earlier but i got busy)

1. i love this one, this could be canon lol. its very resourceful to know multiple languages as a pirate so i’m sure he does know many, as well as mix them up. Jim would immediately tease him about it, Silver would laugh about it too.

2. UGH YES he totally sings, i was kind of disappointed that we don't hear him sing in the movie but whatever. morph loves his singing and would totally join along or find a pocket and fall asleep. Silver probably has a great voice making his humming/singing even more enchanting to listen to.

3. this one is really interesting, i hadn't thought about the fact that it may not be a real eye but that would make sense. it wouldn't be the first time nature has adapted visual defense mechanisms to stop things from eating them. the glass jar idea is really cool because yeah, you don't want to buy a jar of something and see eyeballs, as well as someone might put actual ones in, that's a hazard.

4. yess love Jim with sensory issues, he would totally just go up on the mast and touch them and loose his mind. Silver would tell him to get down, etc but he kind of gets it. solar sails are probably hard to care for, especially if they're supposed to soak up energy (i think at least, they're supposed to be solar panels but thinner and flexible) so they would need a special set of tools, ones i’m sure Jim couldn't afford at the time. i wonder if he bought his own or if Sarah and Silver got him one for a birthday or something

5. YES i hadn't even thought about mentally ill Jim but yes he 100% has ADHD (i also have ADHD so don't worry about projecting xD). he probably couldn't focus as well in school and with the stress of the inn and Leland leaving him, he got so frustrated and kind of gave up. while that sucks, he found something to entertain himself, solar surfing and it absolutely became his special interest. when he gets to the academy, he starts to struggle again but this time hes not as put off by it, since he really did want to go. he probably doesn't find out that he has ADHD until either a year or few months in, mainly because it isn't his behavior causing him to fall back. Sarah probably feels so guilty but Jim lets her know that its ok, even he wasn't aware. he starts using his diagnosis to learn what he can do to help himself and he starts getting motivated to keep learning. i was thinking about Jim in the academy, i think he’d become super interested in math, maybe it'd even become a special interest! i just think he’d love to know the way numbers make up the world and how you can determine events based on calculations

6. Jim probably knew how to cook before from his mom but Silver definitely sparked an interest in him. cooking became less of a known skill and became an art, watching Silver garnish dishes, make special sauces and create something delicious out of just the few things on the ship. i bet he’d come home and start stress cleaning, confusing the heck out of Sarah. she knew he was stressed but couldn't help but be a little grateful that her kitchen was completely clean. when Silver is around, he doesn’t really understand that Jim is stressed out, he just thinks he’s cleaning. once he DOES catch on however, he hangs around while Jim is scrubbing, handing him water, convincing him that he can talk about it if he wants and keeping an eye on him in general. it ends up stressing Silver out, watching Jim get so worried over a grade or an assignment, so Silver tries to get Jim to go on walks with him and relax a little. however, Silver knows he can’t make Jim do anything so when Jim insists he just wants to clean and think for a bit, Silver leaves him be. not that he doesn’t immediately go to Sarah to talk about how worried he is about Jim. i wonder if Sarah stress cleans to, maybe Jim gets it from her?

[wisteria-lodge]

snake primary (lion model?) + snake secondary (rapid fire bird model)

I am pretty sure I am a snake/snake sorting, with my primary (burned snake) as a rock solid certainty. I am not doing so well on figuring out how models work, and if I have them. It makes me doubt my secondary sometimes. Let me give you a few examples:

Last autumn, I was making a lot of soup from scratch. I started with recipes, but pretty soon I was just throwing things together.

Definitely sounds like an improvisational secondary.

(I'm a Badger secondary, and my baker friends make fun of me, because I treat recipes like spells I follow them so exactly. I only recently learned that the reason you put put in salt in water is to make it boil faster. I'd been doing it, but I might as well have been putting it in there to banish the bad spirits.)

But I always made sure I had some kind of home-made broth to hand, and some kind of soup magic stuff (heavy cream, milk, cream cheese, etc.)

This could be rapid-fire bird (or a rapid-fire bird model.) You feel comfortable improvising, but only because you already know a lot about soup.

I only went back to recipes when I wanted something new or specific. Then I went and posted a kind of improv instruction for soup making (take some meat, any meat, sear it and and pair with some veggies, any veggies, etc.).

So far, I'm agreeing with you. Improvisational secondary, maybe some kind of bird model to give extra structure and support.

I train new colleagues. When I start with a new group, I like to have all the prep-work done so I can concentrate on the social aspects and not get bogged down finding the right worksheets, or shit like that. I plan my first few words, and if there is no better opening, I use them and go from there. I have a general structure of what I want to teach them, what methods to use and in what order. It is adapted from experience, and the more rigid guidelines we are given by our client. I am constantly tweaking it when I'm not training. If I feel my group needs something different, I will abandon the plan, let them guide me on a detour, and bring them back when it feels right. Somehow, it still works out 95% of the time, especially now that I have found my confidence and know it works^^

This sounds exactly like how I teach. And for me, what is going on is the bird model prepwork making me comfortable enough to just vanish into my Courtier Badger. I've only recently been learning that I can... relax on the prep, a little. That sometimes too much prep gets me in my head, and sabotages me a little. Like I can just trust myself in the moment, and things work out just fine.

I have found the shc system a week ago, and I have been obsessed ever since. I got curious because a friend mentioned it. They were really into it, and I like sorting people if the system makes sense. I dug in, got hooked, and finally found words to describe everything I had figured out so painfully about myself in the last few years. Especially my snake primary was such a surprise and relief, let me tell you.

It's a good system. And it's... uniquely able to talk about certain kinds of things.

I am thinking there is at least some sort of bird model here, giving my improv some structure?

Took the words out of my mouth.

I was flirting with rapid fire bird as a secondary, but now I have put it into words, not a chance. I like my (contained) chaos too much^^

So far, I don't have too much to add. It's all very well laid out, and well understood. I do like the dramatic structure that happens when someone writes in convinced their a Lion and I start going into why they're actually a Snake but hey. This is nice. This is mellow.

Let's talk about badger secondary model instead. Just to get the elephant out of the room: I hate hard work, it feels slow, dull, and like there should be a better method somewhere. But I know that sometimes, you just have to do it if you want to build a reputation, or you know you need to rely on the goodwill of your community in the future.

This is so like... Rapid-fire bird processing Badger. Just the grudging respect of SURE badger secondary can be a useful tool I GUESS.

I feel awkward keeping shallow contact with my colleagues, I forget if they have kids, and I have been experimenting with discreetly taking notes on what they value.

This is so Bird.

It's not very successful because I can never remember them when it's necessary, so I nod and figure it out by asking "knowing seeming" questions, anyway.

This is so Snake.

What does resonate with me is the part of "becoming what they need" making myself into the tool I need, making myself seem reliable by being relatable. I mostly start a one-on-one conversation by mirroring the other person's mood.

Courtier Badger and Snake secondary can look very, very similar - especially from the outside. This right here could be a description of either.

It is only recently, and only with people I know well, that I have found the seductive power of railroading them instead. I can now cut short a friends whining by summarising what they're saying in a blunt and charming manner, and make them smile instead. Not always, but now I know it works, I use it more and more often.

... but this could only be Snake. Doing this sort of thing consciously and on purpose is so huge and so key. Courtier Badgers do have to believe it, and so they have a way of vanishing that Snake secondaries don't.

And I think I am exaggerating my "go and figure shc out, and be loud and open about it on tumblr" part, because it's what feels right at the moment, but also because the friend who got me into it is a burned lion secondary. They like me charging in, taking it for myself, and they admire anyone who can be honest and vulnerable in public.

Very Double Snake. Using a specific approach, specifically for your friend. Also you say your primary is burned... but I'm not getting burned primary from you. But you're also not really writing about your primary, so.

I guess I am making myself appealing, not just relatable like before.

What a perfect way of describing the difference between Snake and Badger secondaries.

Huh. Fading badger performance as snake gets confident? With another badger performance for work that I do grudgingly.

Performance is right. Just a shallow thing you wear over the top, that barely seems there anymore. You work like Bird, not a Badger.

Now lion. Well, lion is... difficult and easy at the same time? I have to take charge, be the boss, and make split-second, straightforward right-and-wrong decisions when I am leading my group: Call out anyone who doesn't play by the rules (though I usually don't care much if it is not annoying). Decide on, and hand out, the appropriate punishment for someone being late, again. Deal with brewing conflict in a head-on manner. But that is something I am still learning, and I am not very good at it.

Some of this is primary stuff - WHAT you do "be the boss, hand out punishments" versus HOW you do it. It's sounds to me like you're building a Lion primary model over your Snake primary, which is normal. Snakes with safe people almost always model something else. (And I already know you've got a friend that's a Lion primary... Snakes do like to match their People.)

It's possible that you're also building a Lion secondary model, or that one of your Snake secondary masks looks a little like a typical lion secondary, but my take is that most of this is coming from a primary model.

I tend to let conflicts slide, trusting they will work it out among themselves.

I feel that this speaks to the water-like nature of the Snake secondary, and a desire to always go around the problem.

or at least be professional about it and not bring it into the training. Definitely a lion performance here, and one I get frustrated with fast because I am not very good at it.

I have my lion moments, like I described with my way of being open and vulnerable about shc here on tumblr. But I wouldn't do it if it didn't feel right, or more specifically like something I need to heal and get better. I know I need to be vulnerable to heal, and it's relatively safe here, in the anonymity of my internet persona.

Hmm. Interesting. I'm not getting Lion from you... if this is a healing exercise, maybe you're practicing existing in your Neutral state?

I have to write it all out, and some of it just happen to come out as advice for other people's asks. It would be nice if I get some recognition for it in the community, and I love the fact that my friends reads it and tells me they like it.

My take on that sort of thing is going to be annoyingly Badger, so I apologize in advance. For me it's all about consistency. Lay a foundation and then build, one brick at a time.

Now that I have written it all out, I think it's probably the most snake way of arguing myself out of any secondary model I could come up with^^ I guess I don't have one, or if I do, I am dismantling it because I need things to be simple for a while. I am tempted to post this on my own blog, but I know it will get a bigger audience with you.

Yeah, no Lion secondary here.

and maybe help someone in a similar situation. So I will be patient, and I thank you for inviting us all to use you as a sounding board for our own shc issues. I have to stop going through your likes, I'm ruining my obsessive fangirl/shc vibes tumblr with beautiful rl-things and creative human interactions^^

I do what I can. I hope I help. :)

Thankyou, @sevilemar for the submission.

[bloodsuckingprince-anthony]

I have to say, I really enjoying Laws of Attraction. I really do. This book makes it up for PB to give up on heavy potential books like Distant Shores and Foreign Affairs. (The tragedy they did to those books even tho I still like them. Side Note: Slow Burn is a great book too) It feels like whoever the team is behind this book actually took their time to stay on course with the plot, characters have well placed personalities...it's just outstanding so far. This is a prime example of how Open Heart should had been. (Not to talk about that messy book.)

I even love all the characters.

The MC: There have been some incompetent MC's that makes me want to choke them, but this one I like.

Gabe Ricci: Sorry but not actually sorry Ethan and Sam stans but Gabe to me is a perfect written boss. He is much more chill. He recognizes MC's work ethnics unlike Ethan who belittles the MC, keep their relationship a secret, and doesn't appreciate the MC until the third book when the MC had to save his ass from a huge lawsuit. And Sam who would risk everything and destroy his/her home for the nanny. Like, I love the slow burn with him and MC. Like he knows he want MC but he want to focus on the case and I can respect that. Especially, if he's your route, It looks like MC is the one who perusing Gabe and when Gabe is fighting to not cross that taboo line, MC goes to have these random hookups. The angst and drama is keeping me interested. And I know it is working because I see people in the fandom PISSED that Gabe isn't dicking them down yet. Lol. I love it.

Ashlinn: What a sweet angel. She is perfect wifey material. I love how she started as a quiet nervous person and by each chapter, she grows into a much more confident woman. That chapter with the actors and she placed Beau in his lane, I lived. If she was my type, I would romanced her with my MC. Maybe in my next run of the book.

Beau: Ok I knew Beau would be that fuckboy character just because he has family ties to the firm. Typical frat boy. I knew we would hate him, especially after he took credit from MC's hard work, but again the character development of him to be more serious just make me like him. He earned extra points for taking the heat for MC and the rest of the team in today's chapter. I would loved if he was an LI option.

Martin: I know he supposed to be the villain and be this "I'm better than you" jackass but I can't be mad at him. Again the character development. He's trying to stay snarky but he's slowly warming up to the team. It's cute that he thinks he's MC's rival, but we all know. But real tip, the man needs to be laid. MC would help.

Gigi: Sis! Queen! Ride or die! I. LOVE. THIS. WOMAN! Just her everything is just god tier. I know she mentioned a girlfriend in the beginning of the book, but what would it been if our wlw sisters get to romance her? The dynamic between them would be powerful. (I wish my MC could romance her. I'll put a ring on that finger fast.)

Sadie: Boss ass bitch. I like her. I seen people upset that she yelled at the team in the chapter, even tho it is the team's fault to give Marcus information before them. Honestly, they could had waited to tell Marcus after they notify Gabe and Sadie. I've even seen folks on here saying "She does nothing for the case but judge" that's the point. She literally put trust in the case in Gabe and the team's hands and Gabe keep her up to date about it. So she has all the right. Plus, she the type to like it when people go for what they want. I saw comments about when Mac requested a room by the lake at her home. Sadie expressed the expression "Closed mouths don't get feed" and I kinda respect her for that.

Marcus: Yeah I dig this character because I can relate to him. As a black man myself, I get why he don't be too comfortable with lawyers. In RL, it is so hard for black people to trust the justice system. There would be so much evidence that proves that you're innocent but the police would do the bare minimum or none at all policing because they made up their minds that you did it. Then there would be slimy lawyers that tells you to plea guilty because you can't win. So I can understand why Marcus acting this way. Yes, he should believe in this team more, but I understand where he is coming from. (Sorry that I put real issues in this lol) Now to the juicy topic. I knew Marcus wanted MC since that walk they did in a couple of chapters before. And yes it is so unprofessional and unethical for a lawyer to sleep with their clients. But, did I spend the night with him regardless? Yes. Yes I did. To be fair, Marcus asked MC for comfort and relief. MC never showed any interest in Marcus or perused him. He ASKED out of trust. So to me this part got me actually thinking. Should my MC give in to him so he can keep the trust in MC or MC turn him down and he would change his perspective of MC later down the road. Either or I feel like consequences is going to happen and as I am an angst trash, I went and gave Marcus the night of his life. If it's not your cup of tea (Again shout out to the wonderful wlw ladies out there) totally understandable. But I like Marcus. If he becomes a potential LI which it looks like then Gabe has some serious competition because I might switch up.

The Hookups: I enjoy them. I like Lisa (The Robin sprite I think is her name in this book. I can't remember. How awkward it is to be playing The Nanny Affair while playing this book because of Robin/Lisa) And Tyler. Yes my MC did do that mlm threesome with Tyler and the PI (who name I also forgot). Yes MC gave the PI that good dick while Tyler watched. I feel robbed slightly that my MC didn't dick down Teddy after we made out with him in the club but the threesome made up for it. These hookups wouldn't happen if Gabe and Ashlinn isn't giving us this wonderful slow burn romance. But I enjoyed it.

Overall, I really like this book. I say this book is A tier. It has it moments like the group trust trip..that was weird but still. A tier. Close but not S tier like Blades. (That book is *chef kiss* Closer we are to the what will be insanity that is Blades 2 and I can not wait!) I hope this is the same team that is doing Crimes of Passion. (The acronym of Crimes of Passion is CoP...I see what they did there.) That book screams LoA's spin off. But still I'm really enjoying LOA. I just hope this not going to be a standalone book. It said it is a series at the beginning of the book, but PB been shady about that lately. Let it stay as a series. Hopefully it is a series.

[letteredlettered]

Have you ever participated in play-by-post role play? I’ve learned about it recently and have become pretty intrigued - it seems like a fun way to write a little and collaborate with others (esp since writing can feel kind of lonely to me, at times). If u have - how did u find the experience/do u have any recommendations?

I’m not sure what play-by-post is, but if you mean LJ-style roleplay (which has moved entirely to Dreamwidth), then yes. I also participated in just a little roleplay in forums, back when people used forums. I know people rp on Tumblr and Twitter, but I don’t get how.

Writing is not lonely to me; I love being alone. I once tried to write a fic with my BFF  @mydaroga​ using roleplay, but we had some trouble coming up with a plot. I also once tried to write a fic with my dirty old man using roleplay--that was fun, but we never finished. The same thing was true then--it was hard to do plot that way, though feelings and character stuff is very fun. I feel like it would be really fun to do an epistolary novel that way.

(My dirty old man was my first fandom friend, when I was 17, in Jane Austen fandom. She’s called my dirty old man, because I told my mom I had a friend on the internet, and she was very concerned. “People can trick you!” she kept saying. And I told my mom that even if my internet friend was a dirty old man and not an female Argentinean human rights lawyer, they still knew an AWFUL lot about Jane Austen and I would treasure them anyway.) 

I started roleplaying on LJ because of the 2009 Startrek Reboot kinkmeme. People started showing up on the kinkmeme as characters, and I decided to make one, and then my BFF made one, and then we were off to the races. I quickly met some great characters and welcoming people, but I ended up not having a super great time.

I do want to @ @mydaroga one more time, because she still rp’s and has a really great time. She can possibly reblog with some recs and info, if she has time.

Below the cut is some of the problems I had with rp.

The problems started really quick. This was casual roleplay, started on a kinkmeme, without the rules and expectations you might find in more codified LJ/DW roleplay, but I soon found myself in situations where people made pretty strong demands of me. For instance, a player playing Character A and I made a little plan for a cool plot for our characters to address an emergency situation. I came home from work one day to find a Character B (whose player I did not enjoy) VERY UPSET that I had set up a plot and then wasn’t there to play it. I was completely confused because a) I wanted to play this plot with A; we had set it up; it was ours entirely; this B had just seen our little idea and decided it belonged to everyone, since it was happening in a fictional world in which Character B also exists, and due to the place Character B had in canon, the player decided B was in charge. In my mind, there was not “one” world; there were simply many little stories we could play out, which didn’t mean we had to include everyone and didn’t mean anyone else could butt in on our story. b) I had replied to A THAT morning, gone to work for 9 hours, come back, and opened LJ to reply right away. For player B, 9 hours was entirely too long for them to wait, and I did not and cannot understand that. I have a job; I have a life; I am someone who struggles to look at their phone--and at the time, most people didn’t even have smartphones. In fact, one reason I GOT a smartphone was because I was so into rp I wanted to be able to keep up, and that seems an unreasonable price to pay to keep up with rp. Why should I be pressured to rp when I’m doing rl things? This really, really rubbed me the wrong way--and it kept happening.

This kind of casual rp is fraught with people who demand to be a part of your play when you don’t want them, and who demand that you reply quicker than you can or are comfortable with. The reason for this brings me to the other aspect of rp that I struggled with: you’re playing characters who have deep feelings and intense relationships. Sometimes your characters fall in love or have sex or fight or kill each other, and this bleeds into rl feelings far more than any other fandom activity in my experience. Even when you’re writing fic and you become the characters, you get to control the entire situation. In rp, you feel what the characters feel, but you don’t get to control what other characters feel. People’s hearts get broken--sometimes because a relationship in rp feels more real and intense than some of our closest rl relationships, and sometimes because people DO have rl, and when they don’t respond to you, it can be hurtful. Sometimes I played characters who did hurtful things, and I didn’t realize it was hurting the player. Other times, I myself was hurt by someone who didn’t reply to me for days; I was too emotionally invested to deal with a lack in response.

If you’re not doing casual rp, but are using the communities on DW set up for such things, you’ll find some rules that will help address these issues. There’s an expectation for how long you’ll take to reply. There’s clear guidelines about when you can join someone’s storyline, when you have to include someone in your storyline, when you have to leave someone alone, how to tell someone to leave you alone. There’s an understanding about character bleed, and there’s community support to address it and talk about it; there are ways to tell someone you’re feeling emotionally invested in a way that can be hurtful; there are ways to protect yourself.

In the end, however, I find myself unhappy with these communities, as I do with lots of structured community both online and irl. When anyone is allowed to come and do anything they want, you get people who bully others, and no one knows what to do about it; feelings get hurt, and the result is chaos. What seems to be a logical way to deal with this is to create strong guidelines that everyone can agree to and support systems for when something goes wrong--but the sad fact is, as a contrary person, these guidelines often rub me the wrong way, and I often feel excluded by the support systems. I hated having to “apply” to LJ rp communities. I hated having to introduce myself in a codified way. I hated rules such as “there can only be one Commander Spock; if you want to play Spock it has to be a different universe or different age of Spock.”

In the end, I feel I thrive in the liminal space between anarchy and structured communities. Perhaps this is why I have always felt drawn to things that are fringe. I would be very happy to rp again if I could do it casually, but tbh I would probably dip at the first sign of in-fighting.

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

[crystallized-shadow]

MadaTobi: “So why did I have to punch that guy?”

Sorry this took so long, rl has been a bitch XP I really hope you enjoy this and it was worth the wait :D

Tobirama liked to consider himself a calm and rational individual and most would agree, outside of his occasional research binge. However, listening to the absolute buffoon of a man drunkenly insult the one who held his heart without killing the drunk where he stood was taking every ounce of calm in his body. Honestly, Tobirama had no idea why the shinobi thought this was a good place to voice his unflattering opinion when literally any Uchiha could walk in and hear him insult their clanhead. Rolling his eyes at how peace had made some forget why only the “God of Shinobi” could match Madara, Tobirama finishes up his meal and leaves the establishment. If he marks the drunken idiot with his chakra as he passes, well that’s no one’s business but his.

The next morning, Tobirama’s not even surprised when his office door bangs open and Madara strides in. “Senju,” he states in an arrogant tone, making Tobirama raise an eyebrow as the door clicks shut. “So why did I have to punch that guy?”

“Found him already?” Tobirama can’t help but chuckle, a smirk twisting his lips.

“I always find your chakra,” Madara points out as he crosses over to the Senju’s desk; it was a game they’d started playing early on in their relationship. Whoever left first would mark something with their chakra for the other to find on their way to work. Given that few sensors were as powerful as the two, it was just a trace amount and the other shinobi hadn’t noticed the marks yet. “So I’ll ask again,” Madara mutters, bracing his hands against the solid wood to get right in Tobirama’s face, “why did I have to punch him?”

Tobirama takes a moment to enjoy the way the tendons of Madara’s neck shift as he speaks, looking oh so biteable, before he speaks. “The idiot decided alcohol entitled him to speak some rather unpleasant lies about you.”

“Ah,” Madara sighs, slouching a little at the truth. It was hardly the first time anyone had badmouthed him, he just wasn’t as friendly as Hashirama, but he hated it when people did it around Tobirama. The Senju, too used to whispers behind his own back growing up, couldn’t stand to hear people speak ill of his precious people. “I should have broken more than his nose then.”

“That should be enough to make him hold his tongue next time,” Tobirama says with an uncaring shrug, pulling Madara down for a kiss, “or I’ll break his jaw next time.”

“He’s going to think I was watching him,” Madara chuckles against Tobirama’s lips, kissing the younger man again, “I like it.”

“Maybe I’ll start marking people then,” Tobirama ponders, releasing Madara so he can step back before Hashirama bursts into the room. He didn’t care if they had both professed their love for each other, neither man wanted to let others know yet.

After that day, Tobirama had started marking people that deserved a good punch in the mouth for speaking ill of his Madara. It had taken less than a week for citizens of Konoha to start thinking the second most powerful shinobi in the village were constantly spying on them. Hashirama had pleaded with Madara to stop, but even that had only decreased the frequency of the game. In the end, it was Mito that had realized what Tobirama was doing and revealed it.

“Excuse me,” Tobirama mutters harshly under his breath, leaving a bewildered Hyuga sitting at the table with Mito. The man had wanted to present an issue to the Hokage and his advisor, however Hashirama was needed in a meeting with Madara, so Mito had stepped in. His issue had turned out to be nothing more than 20 minutes of Uchiha bashing before Tobirama had left.

“Rude,” Otoshi Hyuga mutters, frowning at Tobirama’s retreating back.

“You really shouldn’t speak ill of the Uchiha around my brother-in-law,” Mito points out, sipping her tea.

“And why not?” Otoshi huffs, glaring at the redhead, “they are a menace to our village and it’s well known Lord Tobirama hates Uchiha.”

“Oh?” Mito asks, her tone deadly, a clear warning for Otoshi to choose his next words carefully.

“Surely you’ve noticed Lady Mito,” Otoshi plows on, ignoring the warning, “the Uchiha as a whole are too uncontrollable and that madman that leads them is the worst!” The Hyuga sips his tea before continuing. “With how prone he is to snapping at people, I’m surprised our esteemed Hokage doesn’t keep him on a shorter leash.” Otoshi chokes on his next words as the air around him suddenly becomes heavy with a thick, oppressive chakra.

“Surely you’ve noticed Tobirama and I are rather fond of said madman,” Mito states, her tone calm as she sips her tea, Kyuubi’s chakra pulsing off her. 

Otoshi tries to respond, but the swirling chakra presses down on him, hard. Just before the Hyuga can pass out, there is a flash of black before him and Madara is standing between him and Mito, his chakra easily pushing hers back.

“Oi Kitsune,” Madara snaps, frowning when Mito just smiles and withdraws the demon’s chakra in the blink of an eye, “why are you trying to rob me of my fun?”

“So that’s why Tobirama left chakra on him,” she chuckles, “and I was wondering how you always knew who to hit.”

Despite the quiet tone, everyone in the restaurant hears Mito, everyone had turned to see who had been unlucky enough to piss her off. Suddenly they understood how Madara always knew who spoke ill of him; Tobirama had done it. None of them had realized he didn’t agree with everything they were saying, so none of them gave it a second thought before they badmouthed Madara.

“You know how protective Senju get,” he says with a shrug, offering a hand to Mito to help her up.

“I’m aware,” Mito chuckles, accepting the Uchiha’s hand, “I am married to one after all.”

Madara hums in agreement, escorting Mito back to the Hokage Tower before Tobirama can’t keep Hashirama from panicking any longer.

[crossroadsfossil]

aaaaaa on the topic of your quirk-related illnesses post: do you have any headcanons about disability in bnha’s setting (quirk-related or otherwise)? and i guess by extension: should quirklessness be classified as a disability?

Fuck it- world building prompts. Send a fandom and a prompt. ILLNESS CONTINUATION

So, before we get into BNHA and Disability, I will note that I have next to no knowledge of how disability is view/treated legally or socially in Japan, which is the view we’re given. All I know is what I’ve gleaned from pop culture and one pair of youtubers (Simon and Martina). I’m making an assumption that Japan and the USA have similar ideas regarding disability, and those ‘ideas’ are, at best, lacking in empathy and sympathy and mostly lip service. 

Additionally, I will be using the term ‘disabled’ as it’s laid out by the ADA, as that’s what I’m most familiar with. Disability is defined as “a person who has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activity.”

NOW, as for BNHA universe- 

I think having a disability in this universe would be like being disabled in reality. It would suck. If you’re very lucky, you have a support network that can assist you. If you’re moderately lucky, the government pays lip service to assist you. In all cases, I’m pretty convinced that society sees the disabled as either something they did to themselves, or an inconvenience or something to be pitied at best and hated at worst. 

I think the potential in the BNHA universe to become partially or completely disabled is much, much higher. There’s statistically a higher chance of being disabled through violent means- Hero or villain inflicted injuries. I think quirk lashback would increase the likelihood of becoming disabled.  

Fuck, we’ve seen how the BNHA universe treats the disabled, and it’s not good. One of the characters with the largest presence who is also disabled is Jin Bubaigawara and, well. He was killed. He fell into villainy. He had no. Goddamn. Support. And that is common in the real world so I doubt it’s any less common in this one. 

There are others who are visually disabled. There’s Ectoplasm, who’s missing his legs. There’s Ingenium, who’s paralyzed. There’s FUCKING ALL MIGHT. I don’t know how well Etoplasm and Ingenium are treated. I don’t know how All Might is treated, but from what I remember of the whole post-skinny might reveal, it’s not great either. 

All Might does what a lot of people with disabilities do, myself included. He hides it. Clearly, there is a stigma attached to being crippled. There is a stigma to being less than 100%. There is a Stigma for not being ‘plus ultra’ enough. 

I wish I had some fun headcanons for disabilities in the BNHA universe. I wish I could whip up some delightful headcanons about how it’s better than it is in the real world, how there are funny, quirky things like I could with the illness post and having the Pepper Up Cough. I wish my headcanons about this could be fun and more headcanons and less applying what I know and have experienced to this universe. I wish I could. But I can’t. 

I think being disabled in BNHA is just as bad, if not worse than in the real world. We’ve seen the cruelty related to quirks. We’ve seen the apathy of the general public. We’ve seen a lot of that society and not a lot of it is good. 

Here is my headcanon: I think if you are perceived as being less than healthy, you are seen as weak. A victim at best and a deserving villain at worst. I think the support for disabled people is nonexistent, no matter how minor or severe the disability. I think it’s the same vultures, different liver kind of situation with BNHA as it is with RL. 

I think there are more people with disabilities than there are in RL. I think more people hide having a disability too. I think getting a doctor to diagnose a disability would be harder than it is in RL, and gods knows that’s hard enough. I think discrimination based on disability would be more prevalent. 

I think there were be types of quirks that would almost guarantee a future disability. I think it’s brought up in a lot of fic discussing Present Mic and Bakugou and Jirou- their deafness or the deafness of those around them. I think it’d affect characters like Midnight- who would probably end up with a chronic lung issue unless her body is adapted to breathing it in all the time. I think Aizawa is going to have eye issues eventually, probably even going blind at some point. I think Nedzu, being a rat in a human world, would be considered disabled simply because the world is not built for him. I think Cementoss would have mobility issues as he ages. Fatgum and Momo probably will have issues regarding how fast they burn fat/nutrients. It’ll probably manifest in their hearts.

I think a lot of people end up with a disability brought on by their quirk. The human body is an amazing thing, but it has limits and I don’t think those limits play well with time- or another way to say this, I think people are more likely to burn out faster than we are. I think it’s going to be more like an animalistic ‘live hard, die young’ sort of thing. 

I also think it’ll be entirely glossed over by the populace at large. People are very good at ignoring things, and a growing number of disabilities would probably fall under ‘things to absolutely ignore’. 

I could ramble more, but I want to get to the next part of your question:  

Should quirklessness be classified as a disability

I read that and, hoo boy, it triggered an immediate bout of snarling until I could analyze why it pissed me off. 

Let’s return to the definition I gave at the beginning of my answer. A disability is anything that interferes with a person’s ability to do one major activity. In canon, what do we know of being without a quirk? 

It’s said that 20% of the world is without a quirk. Is this accurate? Is this reflective of each new generation? We’re not given information on this. I’ve read plenty of fic that have explored the validity of these given statements, pointing out that they don’t seem to agree with what we’re shown in canon. I’ve read fic where it’s stating this is gross oversimplification, or a skewing of the actual data, which I’m a bit of a fan of being numbers like that are never accurate. One in five people have no quirk? Really? Then why was there no other quirkless kids in Izuku’s school? Does affluence play a factor in this? We’re just... not given a lot of detail, and the details we are given are not pretty. 

The details are this: being quirkless has hindered Izuku Midoriya socially, and, if we want to extrapolate from there, it has probably hindered him educationally and professionally as well. Melissa Sheild has been hindered by being quirkless. Not to the same extent as Izuku, but she is, according to the wiki, ‘ she used to be seen with pity for being Quirkless’. To me, this sounds like people have... hm. how to say... ‘tried to protect her’ for her ‘weakness’. 

Basically, looking at these two individuals, it sounds like society takes away their agency, and if that doesn’t ‘hinder one major aspect of an individuals life’ then I don’t know what does. 

ALso, look at those who BECAME quirkless. Does it hinder them? Are Mirio and Ragdoll hindered? Yes. 

So, following the rules I set out, yes, being quirkless does count as a disability. Legally, would it count here? I don’t know. If someone fought for it, then I can see some countries classifying it as such. It’s certainly treated as a disability in canon. There is a stigma to being quirkless. 

Do I personally want being quirkless to be a disability? 

No. But I am hella biased because I AM disabled. I see Melissa out there living and doing things I would love to do. That I would love to do. Notice I didn’t include Izuku. That’s because I see him having some comorbidities, which, kind of annihilates my knee-jerk reaction, doesn’t it? If he wasn’t quirkless, he probably wouldn’t have the comorbidities. Since he does and they also impair his functioning, then... I think it can be logic’d that he does have a disability. Multple, perhaps. 

Again, my logic may not be super solid there, but... According to the rules set out via ADA and medical professionals, yes. In that new society, it would be a disability. 

I hate it, but in that universe, the baseline for ‘100% normal’ has shifted, just as it’s shifted over the past hundred, three hundred, thousand, six thousand years. That line is always shifting as humanity grows and changes. Hopefully, that baseline begins to include empathy and sympathy and compassion into it. 

[geekns]

last night’s breakdown or...spectrum confessions

So i just wanted to saying something about the meltdown that some of you might have noticed last night (i know a couple of you did, though i think i managed to keep most of it under wraps).

I have a medical condition. It causes me to feel anxious and depressed. Constantly. To varying degrees. I take medication for it. I’ve tried to learn how to manage it. I try to hide it because the general public does not understand this condition. Furthermore, i don’t want to share the underlying trauma with anyone and everyone. I want to come across as a functioning adult as much as possible.

So even while I have spent fifteen years learning how to forgive the people who hurt me. And something like six months in therapy. And around two years being medicated...I still have occasional breakdowns.

Sometimes i still have a night where everything that i’m trying to keep copacetic, and acknowledged but not given free reign, takes over. It refuses to be medicated or meditated or prayed into compliance. It takes over me and pours out of me whether i want it or not. Suddenly i am not functioning, i am sobbing uncontrollably, and terrified, and feel guilty, and unloved, and imprisoned. And in those moments i want nothing more than to die. A part of me does not even trust myself not to harm myself. I want to be held (but am always alone). I want to protected (but never am). I am normally the person who takes care of others, no one ever takes care of me.

And i feel physically sick. Nausea, a headache, and body aches. Full body grief. Last night i was seeing flashing lights behind my eyelids as if i was having a seizure or on a bad trip. And the panic: the panic is in control, I cannot think straight. Even if i tell myself positive things, or try to use strategies for calming down, try to quiet my raging thoughts, the panic has free reign. It is in full control. And the only thing i can do is curl up in bed hugging my stuffed animal, clutching my blanket, waiting for it to end. And it won’t end until after I’ve slept it off. And I can’t sleep because I’m in fight or flight mode.

Maybe I should do some kickboxing when I get like this.

I’m going to confess, it was probably the worst it’s been in years last night. I was even trying to go to my safe place, and was kind of getting there (i usually can’t do my best safe place visualizing anymore, i think it’s the meds), but the person who normally talks me down from these things was not feeling safe last night. (His likeness was part of the reason i was freaking out tbh.) But even though i didn’t really want him there he didn’t go away, he stayed with me until i fell asleep.

I have imaginary friends sort of. Apparently they’re called tulpa? Though i don’t create or really control them, they just show up fully formed. Mostly when i’m panicking or worried. Whenever i need to talk things through that i have no one to talk to. The thing is, they always wear the likeness of real people, usually celebrities that play characters i strongly identify with. I used to get advice from Picard and Gandalf and Archer for instance. All of us sitting around a campfire on a beach. They’re always men, i don’t know why. (Hmm maybe that goes to daimons?) 

For example: one time i was on a train in Japan, underground, and a drunk man started yelling at two women halfway down the car. And i had a panic attack. And suddenly i was visualizing Twelve/PC talking me down from it, telling me to breathe, that i was safe, etc. Distracting me from the danger. (Two things: i read a story about him talking another fan down from a panic attack outside a convention later. And another male passenger escorted the drunk off the train at the next stop, but i was still panicking for a while. I still had to change trains and it would take me another hour to get home for the night.)

So part of the thing is that the thoughts i usually keep under control, don’t allow myself to dwell on, acknowledge but keep muted with optimism, become deafening and take over when this happens. I think way back when it would be 1-2 times a month, then 1-2 times a quarter, and now it’s 1-2 times a year, but it still happens. I used to just let all of the darkness come pouring out, usually through writing. I’m always alone. And i suppose it’s cathartic, but it’s horrific while it’s happening. I don’t recognize myself, the girl who never gives up and is always glass is 100% full. I don’t want to let others see it even as i’m desperate to be loved and held and accepted as i am.

It’s hard to explain.

When i wake up the next morning the darkness is gone. It’s quiet again, and i feel “normal” (normal for me). It’s hold is gone. Now i always live with a baseline amount of anxiety and depression, even while medicated. If i take too much medication i can’t sleep (i’m already an insomniac, i don’t need drugs making it worse) and so i can’t feel any sexual arousal at all...it really bothers me. It’s hard enough for me to become properly aroused without suppressing it entirely. I generally have to fantasize about something very specific (which let me tell you, the majority of you wouldn’t find to be sexy at all).

When i first went on the meds i spent months where i didn’t feel anything (other than that i was suddenly very chatty and animated in a completely uncharacteristic way) and i hated it. My mom doesn’t understand, doesn’t see repressed sexuality as a downside when i’m not married.

Re: asexuality. My grandma was on the spectrum (we always joke she had sex at least four times...resulting in four kids) and my mother probably is, too. I have had two short-lived dating relationships in which my only sexual desire was to satisfy my partner really. I don’t enjoy kissing. I do have a libido that’s greater than either my mother or grandma’s...but like i said, it’s fucked up and not initiated by any of the conventional methods. Kissing doesn’t make me feel like getting down, for instance. At least in my (so far limited) experience. I keep hoping that i’m actually demi and just need to meet the right person to make this a little bit easier for me. But it will probably just be something i have to work through for the rest of my life. 

Perhaps i should stipulate that I want to want to have sex. And when i do want to have sex i am always alone. And when i am with someone else the things that attract me are just odd. Being read aloud to, or talked to about nerdy things, got me farther than anything else. But it’s not the content so much as the mind that’s behind what’s being expressed.

I am certainly no expert on this subject. My therapist had never heard of demisexuality and had no input on asexuality. In other words, they were absolutely no help when it came to working through these issues, which is where I wanted to go (partially because i feel it may be tied in with my PTSD and is being repressed by fear).

Five types of attraction:

Romantic attraction: desiring a romantic relationship with someone

Aesthetic attraction: being attracted to someone based on how they look

Sensual or physical attraction: wanting to touch, hold, or cuddle someone

Platonic attraction: wanting to be friends with someone

Emotional attraction: wanting an emotional connection with someone

Most of my attraction is towards fictional characters (and to a varying extent the actors who play them). Both of my RL partners would only be physically expressive in private. They wouldn’t touch me in public. Or even in private spaces with others present. There was one i didn’t really know all that well and another who had hidden a lot from me up to that point even though he claimed he didn’t believe in hiding things from the person you’re dating. And we would be physical in private to varying degrees but i was left feeling largely unfulfilled. I kind of struggle with these definitions. Both of the guys I dated i had zero aesthetic attraction to but did have physical attraction to whereas they only wanted to express themselves sexually.

I strongly desire having a romantic relationship with someone but have for a very long time only had romantic attraction for fictional characters. I fairly recently had a physical and romantic attraction to someone for the first time, at first based on sapiosexual attraction that later became aesthetic attraction (why is there no listed attraction for this? I am usually attracted to people’s minds first).

I have very strong aesthetic attraction to certain actors...and this is a large part of the reason that i know i’m bi. But it isn’t only aesthetic for really strong attraction because i am sapiosexual and also strongly attracted to damaged, often misunderstood, people/characters. Case in point: Loki and Missy. In these cases i have strong physical attraction but not sexual attraction. I cannot fathom having sex with most characters or actors or people I meet in RL. I sometimes wonder what casual sex would be like but know that i could never...

I can only remember kissing someone (also a character) in a dream once and immediately put a stop to it, not because i wasn’t attracted to that person, but because they were unavailable in my mind. They were part of an OTP that i was not in. So there’s a strong romantic component for me.

Sensual or physical attraction is actually something I fantasize about a lot but have never experienced...outside of one platonic relationship. I had a friend when I lived in Japan who I wasn’t even particularly close to. But right away she would ask me if she could lean on me, lay against my lap, later link arms with. I can’t remember if we ever held hands. She was Chinese, and for an Asian girl this is very normal to do with platonic friends. Koreans call this “skin sisters.”

It was really weird for me because my own sisters don’t even want to do those sorts of things with me. I sometimes want to lean against my mother but most of my sisters would punch me rather than let me touch them affectionately. My youngest sister, once I came back from Japan, had reached a point where she was bolder and will goose, grope, grab, poke, pinch, try to pop my toes...it’s very disconcerting. She does things to me in front of others that i consider to be more sexual than platonic. Possibly because my only frame of reference is my father doing the same to my mother. She’s the only sister who will sometimes lean against me. But that was only after this friendship in Japan that was more physical than any of my “romantic” but-definitely-not-romantic partners. No kissing, but the sort of physical expression that i most long for.

Platonic attraction is rare for me. Extremely rare. Any platonic relationship i have pursued has always inevitably ended with spectacular heartbreak. In high school i was always on the outside. One platonic friendship ended dramatically (she had been hiding things from me, which is fine, but it ended badly and she moved away suddenly). Another platonic relationship fizzled because she was my best friend but i was just another friend for her. And whenever this happens to me, i am the friend that all plans will be cancelled with because the other friends have preference. And there was no big break there, i was old enough to not be heartbroken by it as i had by earlier examples of this. We still converse on FB and i am the person she came to first when she accidentally got pregnant in college. Have i mentioned that i’m the should people come to when they need emotional support? I’m a good listener and not judgmental and know when to give advice and when to stay mum.

Which brings me to spiritual attraction. We aren’t merely physical or mental beings. There is something else there. And my empathy, my spiritual center...there are times that i know things that i have no logical business knowing. I don’t always understand it, sometimes it’s a feeling, but my intuition is something that i’ve learned not to ignore. 

My last boss, i could tell he had anger issues. I only caught a glimpse of them once. He really liked me so i was fortunate. But every conversation we had after our initial meeting i could tell (spiritually) that he was potentially very dangerous to me emotionally. The more we interacted the more nervous it made me. Familiarity could lead to a loss of professional discretion.

Latter friend: i knew when she IMed me out of the blue after a six month drought that something big was up. She demurred that she couldn’t talk about it. I knew that the only reason that she had come to me was because she needed to tell me. Again, i had a feeling, and it turned out to be correct. She was pregnant. BF wanted her to abort. She didn’t believe in abortion. One conversation gave her the strength to stand up for herself and give her baby up for adoption.

Grandma: I was unable to go home for thanksgiving. Sister (roommate situation) went to her in-laws. I stayed home alone and worked. I was having panic attacks. I had the most heinous period of my entire life. A couple days later my dad calls me up and says: “Has anyone told you that Grandma is in the hospital? She had a heart attack.” No one had told me anything, I somehow knew something was wrong anyway. My brain just couldn’t make sense of it.

Kate Mulgrew: I somehow knew that she was looking for her daughter. Then-me interpreted this as Janeway having a missing daughter, expecting her to show up on the show and join the crew. What i didn’t realize that this was a real longing and need. I have carried this knowledge with me for over twenty years. I found out sometime within the past year that she had become pregnant early in her acting career, while on Ryan’s Hope, given her daughter up for closed adoption, regret it, and it was while she was on Voyager and coming into my awareness she was desperately searching for her, trying to find her, and did in fact find her. I had no rational way knowing any of that deeply personal information. I felt it anyway; deeply. In fact, it changed my life.

Which comes to emotional attraction. I really wanted to be an actor or an author. I don’t think I can memorize or anymore, my aphasia makes it extremely difficult to ad lib/improvise because there are road blocks where i cannot spontaneously retrieve the words i’m looking for. I don’t know if i’ll ever finish a novel, i’m hoping just to finish a lengthy fanfic at this point and then see what comes. A year ago i was doing much better, now it just feels like i’m under attack on all sides. But i feel a strong emotional attraction to artistic people in general.

This sometimes manifests as a sexual attraction for a short time. Sometimes. I can fantasize about a physical attraction...usually in the form of me comforting or being comforted. Sharing burdens. If i know that someone i’m attracted to or love is hurting then it hurts me, often with actual physical sensations (again with the spiritual connections). This tends to cause me to feel as if i “know people” or am kindred spirits with actors, authors, singers, etc. Again, i will sometimes know things that there’s no reason for me to know and is often pointless since it doesn’t enable me to comfort them when they don’t even know i exist.

I am generally okay with this, though it’s sometimes overwhelming. Sometime it feels like an inside joke or shared experience (rare for me outside family members) and gives me ecstatic joy. It’s really weird being an empath.

But again back to being demi: characters (or even the actors who play them) will sometimes feel like friends or family. Sometimes it translates to romantic or sexual attraction: this is very rare. It’s happened a handful of times, but it leaves me feeling completely broken. Why can’t i just be a normal person with normal relationships? Generally it is a positive thing because getting to share their experiences (through reading or watching) gives me a fair amount of feeling accepted, having someone to care for, and hope.

I am a very isolated person. I don’t currently have any RL friends. Most of my support network tends to be online but i don’t really have that going on for me since my last breakup (mutual friends seemed to stick with him, though one friend that was my friend first has since decided that he’s completely nuts and conveniently forgotten that she was the one to introduce us and encourage the pairing). And i know i’m weird but i actually don’t mind that. Having friends that live around the world? That have similar interests? But that i don’t have to get dressed and go outside my comfort zone to hang out with? Awesome.

A year ago i was living somewhere very isolated but i was in a good place because i was supporting myself, had been working full time and making career progress for the better part of a year, was okayish with being single, I had my new kitten, I was mostly happy. It would have been the ideal time for me to start a relationship. And i was actually feeling attracted to a coworker! Like that hadn’t happened for me in nearly twenty years!

But he didn’t want to be more. He wanted me to be the friend he went to to unload his emotional issues on. He didn’t want others to know. He didn’t want to be more than “professional” (it wasn’t professional what was going on, not really). And then COVID hit and everything started falling apart. Things had been wrong with that job that i was trying to stay separate from. Drama, potentially criminal actions, emotional outbursts. I got singed a few times. I knew that another coworker hated me. 

The second time they laid me off i packed everything up and moved back home. Upper management had been getting scary. I could tell that Grandma was reaching the end of her life and wanted to be near family. Which led to my last job, which i loved at first but couldn’t keep up with physically and that started to degrade my mental/emotional state. And then grandma died and i fell apart.

I’ve been trying to pull things back together. I really enjoy my current job but i don’t know if it will work out in the long term. The way the economy is going again...it’s scary. When Obama became president his policies were really punishing for the area. I had just graduated from college and couldn’t find full time work. I worked 2-3 part time jobs and lived with my parents because that was all i could afford. 

I went out on a couple of very large limbs trying to better my situation (teaching in Japan, CLD school) and neither has really. They were amazing opportunities but i get homesick. But then when i am here that’s bad for me emotionally. I need to find some sort of balance, and it’s looking like that balance is for me to live somewhere removed from family and only visit a couple times of years. Which i hate to do but i think i need those boundaries for my emotional well being. But i don’t know how i have a hope in hell of affording any of that. I have a couple of months left to figure it out before my lease is up on my apartment, i need to figure things out by then.

So all of this...i’m not trying to complain here. I know that i tend to come off that way because i’m just honest and matter of fact about things. This is the way things are in my experience. I’ve tried various ways to improve them. The reason i’m recording them is not to illicit pity. It’s so people who don’t have to deal with these issues can catch a glimpse of what it’s like and for others who deal with anxiety and depression can see that they’re not alone. That’s a huge deal. Wherever you are in your journey, you’re not alone, it may be a fight unique to your situation, but you’re not alone. Other people are suffering, too, and it’s not a competition. It’s okay.

I know that being single has its benefits. Living alone with a cat is not something i hate as a rule, let me tell you. What i do hate is not having two or more incomes coming into a household. It is extremely difficult in this day and age to make it alone. I don’t want to worry about anything but money is probably that biggest temptation. It leads to feeling like i’m trapped.

That’s probably why many relationships develop (a need for security) but i’m...i say it is like being broken. Maybe i am because of the PTSD. Maybe it’s just my normal for someone on the spectrum (and let me tell you that even claiming this as part of my identity triggers my imposter syndrome...all of this does really. I didn’t have to deal with the same level of physical abuse that many do so why can’t i just get over it, right?). But i dealt with enough that i cannot form relationships on convenience. I have to feel safe. I want to find someone who i could trust to raise kids with, to go the distance with.

Have i said yet that i tend to overthink things? 

I know that there’s not many of you who will have read this far. Thank you. Writing is part of my process in getting things reorganized in my shit show of a brain/heart/etc. The bottom line of this...i am improving grief wise, last night not withstanding. But i still want more. It’s my birthday and Christmas and it’s the hardest time for me in a way. Because it feels like i’m out of time. Another year has been lost forever. Have i made any progress at all? And it feels as if it’s already too late. My main goal in life was to become a mother and i can’t even have casual sex to manage it. I just can’t.

But there are spiritual things i’m trying to work through. That i don’t feel comfortable sharing here, really. Just i wonder about soul mates and twin flames and dreams/visions. I don’t know what the right choice is. Not for sure. And that is killing me because i want to know God’s will and do it. And i’m an impatient person who’s been waiting a particularly long time and i can’t say that i’ve gotten any better at it.

[luckystarchild]

I want totell you that despite being WAY behind on your fic (RL stuff sometimes makes me sour on certain things bc of events that happen while I'm reading a thing, it's nothing the fic did specifically) but I want to let you know I've been following the 2020!NQK asks and loving them! I dunno if you've been asked this yet, but OG!NQK isn't very politically interested (human politics anyway) last I recall, d'you think 2020!NQK would be different there? 80s/90s Japan has a lot of issues iirc.

Glad to hear you’re doing OK, even if some RL stuff isn’t playing so nicely with your fic-reading habits. 

So what’s funny is that in real life, I am VERY political. Like, to the point of annoyance with my friends and family; my Tumblr posts probably hint at this at least a little. IRL, I’m that person who’s literally always up to date on local elections and national news, and I volunteer with political campaigns and various official-calling initiatives pretty much regularly. I’d say politics are one of my main hobbies besides fic-writing. It’s actually sort of odd that politics don’t play a role in LC, given the POV character is a version of myself. Buuuut this isn’t the first time I’ve thought about this discrepancy, so I do have some thoughts regarding why politics haven’t appeared in the story much.

To be super meta, I don’t know much about Japanese politics in the early 90s, which makes writing about them hard!

I don’t see the point in researching them beyond a cursory perusal (which I will admit to doing when I first started LC) because forcing a ton of data about 30-year-old politics into a story that doesn’t have anything to do with said politics feels like something that would bore people; they’re here for story and characters, after all, and while a minority of readers might find those politics interesting, I don’t think it would hold wide appeal

Adding politics would really slog down an already VERY LONG narrative with subplots that aren’t terribly important to the story itself

I spend a ton of time on modern American politics, and LC is a nice escape from that

For more in-universe reasons regarding why NQK is a lot less (seemingly) political than I am, see the following:

NQK is very preoccupied with the events of YYH and likely doesn’t have the mental energy to get into politics AND balance canon

Plus, she’s 14, so there isn’t too much she could get involved in without her parents’ consent

I don’t think she wants to rock the boat where her parents are concerned, so she’d be mindful of how they view her political practices while she’s still a minor

If 2020!NQK were placed into the world of YYH instead of OG!NQK, I DO think she would more interested in the political climate of 1990s Japan, but I think the preoccupation with YYH would still apply and downplay her level of interest compared to the interest she showed politics in her former life. She’d likely keep closer eye on politics than OG!NQK does, but I don’t think she’d be too terribly active in protests... at least not as a young teenager during canon. Once she’s past canon and on her own in the world, however, I can see her becoming more political again, and probably to a greater extreme than 2016!NQK. 

After all, only 2020!NQK knows how bad things will get. 2016!NQK has no idea what’s coming, that sweet summer child...

But to get very meta again, if 2020!NQK were the protagonist, I still wouldn’t write anything but a few throwaway characterization lines about politics into her narrative, once more to spare readers from having to read about stuff that doesn’t apply to the broader story. In long works, you gotta be mindful of your subplots, I suppose. 

Head-canon: 2020!NQK is still a vegetarian like me, and since she’s more of a firebrand, she’d probably spend at least some time on an anti-whaling ship once she hits adulthood, though likely in secret so as not to scandalize her parents.

I hope this all makes sense, and thanks for the question! Hope you get back to the story someday, but however long it takes, it’ll be here until you’re comfy with it again. 

[xxsealitwithakissxx]

“We’re more ghosts than people.”

After around 5 months (I know that’s basically ages these days, but I wanted to take my time... then quarantine happened) and a lot of patience, boah that’s an understatement, I can say it was worth it.

I figured it was fitting to end on the character we started with.

                                         “Vengeance is an idiot's game.”

I know most post stuff like this on reddit, but honestly I rarely feel comfortable posting there. I’m not exactly a prolific ‘cowgirl’, what long history I’ve accumulated over the course of many months can possibly be said that hasn’t already resulting in hundreds of upvotes? I mean, I’m happy for those people, it simply makes me all the more nervous. Also, ignore the Compendium. Just.... jesus, I can not. 360 is close enough, imo. Anyway, knowing it’s over feels equally like having a weight lifted and leaving a close friend behind knowing you might not see them again. I was literally a day from getting this on my birthday, lol.

Does that sound exaggerated? Probably. Yes, the game managed to hit me in the feels more than once on certain occasions. Ngl, I imagine my day one horse Sauron was probably in horse-y heaven looking down like ‘fuck all you had to do was leave me in the stables but naw fam, you had to be a hero’. That scene had me pissed more than anything. The fact that we left him there, without a grave or anything just... pffft. That actually made me turn off the game for a bit. That and the Lenny plus Hosea bit. And the Molly bit. And Susan bit. And I may have gone back and burned a rat. But you know what? Let’s move on.

It didn’t help that my dear mother had taken to alternating between watching and helping me make decisions throughout the story (*cough*novel*cough*) and became attached to some of the characters, notably Orthor. I spelled that correctly, I swear. She was on the verge of tears more than once, just don’t tell her I said that. :p

What baffled yet continued to draw me in most is watching the downfall of the charismatic, prideful (c’mon look at that gif), and arguably hypocritical leader Dutch and his loyal fanbase gang. By the third chapter’s ending, shit hit the fan so much I wondered how everyone still alive managed to stay within the group, or be relatively sane enough by the 6th chapter. I had never seen such loyalty in a video game before. Seriously. Mind you, I hadn’t played the first game (I will eventually once my recovery period is over, lol) and still knew some of what happened to the ‘Miltons’, so the ending didn’t hit too hard.

Perhaps it’s just my personal rl issue with the ‘blind leading the blind’, but I had a little gripe with a bunch of... mostly capable adults following this one man by word alone from camp to camp while running from the law and not once questioning if they should wake up tomorrow and go, hey, maybe I’ll try to think for myself today. Granted, they were a makeshift family of sorts, I can understand how they all came to trust Dutch after hearing each individual backstory. It’s teetering on the very edge of CULT LEADER I AM A CULT LEADER, but I can still understand the why’s and how’s that came to be the Van Der Linde gang, jokes aside. He is above all, human, and coupled with his inability to ‘fight nature’ I think that is what makes him so intriguing to watch (Not to mention Benjamin‘s phenomenal voice acting...and the whole cast for that matter). I notice a certain theme that people rarely, if ever seem to speak of in old westerns that is sometimes present. One man strolls into some obscure  town and threatens to take over, be it with violence or by other means, with or without a gang of dunderheads trailing his wake, and the townsfolk willingly surrender. Until of course one unsung hero snatches said villain’s glory of badassary from under him and all is right again.

RDR2 isn’t like that. Not entirely. My point is it has elements of this sprinkled inside its storyline. At least, for the first and second half. It both confused and irritated me that most people were so easily brought back then, maybe it’s still like that now at times with Social Media so present in our lives, but I digress. I’m not writing this to step on toes or tell you what to believe, I just wanted to share this experience. A 120hr (hello fellow completionists) or so journey into a redemption story, a remarkably immense detailed landscape, and its colorful yet very complex characters. Despite some plot holes here and there, which I’d expect for a prequel of this size, I think I identify with John the most. Charles as well. Not trying to downplay his shortcomings, but he never really brought into Dutch’s bullshit plans, not truly anyway. As they say hindsight is 20/20. When listening those early camp dialogues and later ones you can tell just how in depth the writing goes, I’d argue that half the specific lines at camp and reading Arthur’s journal are better than what the cutscenes have to spell out for you.

I won’t linger on what’s been said a hundred times, how much a lot of us love Orthor (I’m sorry I’ll leave) and most of the other members, along with the immersive gameplay. It certainly didn’t become boring as I initially thought. I’m not too big on westerns... Roy Rogers, Bat Masterson, Maverick, and of course the Fist Full of Dollars trilogy suffice really. I actually wonder if R* will be able to top it. Two years later and some people are still in their feelings about it like it came out yesterday. With that type of impact, it will definitely be a challenge.

Now what’s left? Oh, a few stranger missions and some places I haven’t explored fully... Hmm. Or maybe I’ll try out 100% on pc...

Ha. The epitome of my humor ends there because I’d rather be hit by that train. How my hands aren’t broken or severely bruised is anyone’s guess. But really, thanks for reading if you made this far. Stay safe, guys. <3

[calliecat93]

Top 5 Things I Disliked About Red vs Blue: Season 2

When I decided to do this series, I knew it was gonna be hard to do lists for Blood Gulch. Not because I can’t think of anything I like or dislike specifically, but as I said before, BGC is mainly comedic driven. The worst I can say is ‘this isn’t funny’ and critique the earlier production standards. Which that’s kinda mean since they were working with what they had and trying to learn to do the show. As such, I have to reach on Dislikes for these and S2 was a tough one in that regard. I managed to come up with five, but GOD I had to stretch haaaard on it.

But still, I did it. Just remember, take this with a grain of salt. So here we go, Top 5 Things I Disliked About RvB S2.

#5. Doc

If you asked me which of the BGC to write out and never bring back… I’d probably have to pick Doc. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate him, but I’ve also never loved him. He comes off more whiny than funny, and most of the time he’s only funny due to the back and forth with O’Malley. Otherwise, usually… he’s just there. Even here in S2, while having a pacifist medic in a cast where several are trigger happy could lead to some funny stuff, Doc was just an annoyance. The situations he got into were funny, like getting knocked into the Warthog when the Blues unknowingly made it go rogue, but he was literally just there for the ride. Something IDT later season really improved aside form 16 and 17, which tbh I think is stretching it.

IDK, I just find Doc whiny and kinda boring. Even if he’s meant to be the annoying, disrespected nice guy, doesn't Donut kinda fit that slot already? Heck, they both even have the recurring ‘disappear for seasons and then suddenly comes back’ joke. The only times that I feel invested in Doc is when he has O’Malley, which is how he re-entered the plot here. I’m gonna save more about that in the S3 posts, but on his own? Doc just… doesn’t really work and I didn’t really miss him in between the Reds dumping him and him reappearing when O’Malley infected him. It’s also a flaw IDT recent seasons have really fixed, though they are trying. Plus I don’t hate Doc and some jokes with him do work (the gag of his naming made me giggle), I'm just… indifferent. But that’s why he’s at the top of the list since the most I can say is I find him whiny and not as funny,

#4. The Cyborg Subplot

So due to losing Lopez and because he’s Sarge, Sarge decides to turn one of the Reds into a cyborg to do all the stuff that Lopez did. He settles on Simmons. Now in and of itself, the subplot is fine. It leads to a good few jokes, like Grif trying to ruin Simmons’ parts after the surgery or a few gags like Simmons shooting his own foot and of course, faxass. While IDT the season would have been hurt without it, it has plenty of funny bits. Sow hat’s the problem. Well… like I said, cutting it wouldn’t have hurt anything. It kinda is just there to give the Reds something to do during the O’Malley and Tex stuff since otherwise, they’d just be standing around and taking… well, more than normal. Otherwise, it’s only significance plot-wise is Tucker tuning into their frequency, which is important in the finale when he picks up Vic and Sarge’s conversation.

So yeah, the subplot isn’t all that important. But it is still funny, so I don't mind it being there. But nowadays… how much so we see this come up? I mean Grif got mutilated by a tank and got another guy’s body/organs haphazardly stitched on. Simmons, while he possibly gave up those parts to Grif willingly, was otherwise forcibly converted into a cyborg. This… hasn’t really come up again. I mean the only time I think Simmons mentioned it in-show was as a brief joke in S11. Nine seasons later. I don’t think Grif’s side of it has come up at all ever again. Though… considering you can only get so many jokes out of this setup since everyone is always in armor, I do understand why. Though I feel with Simmons’ side at least, they could play with it some more, both comedically and maybe even storywise. But that may be my need for Simmons content talking…

So yeah, the subplot was okay. It’s at Number Four since I don’t hate it and it was funny. I just feel like nothing would be lost without it, especially since it pretty much never comes up again. Maybe one day though, who knows? At least the fanfic writers keep it alive XD

#3. The Caboose Forgetting Church Thing

Okay this is brief, but it does annoy me. During the whole trip into Caboose’s mind, Caboose’s memory of Church gets shot. As such, Caboose forgets who Church is. Makes sense, O’Malley killed the personification of Church in Caboose’s mind, so his mind would forget it. It also explains why Caboose got, well… for lack of a better way to put it, intellectually challenged later on due to having three AI’s in his brain and all the chaos that broke out. But Caboose forgetting Church lasts like… one episode? Maybe two? Anyways, Burnie explained on the commentary that it was just too hard to write out so they did one joke with it, and then just dropped it. Probably for the best... but then we have to figure out how this works in-continuity... damn it.

Really this is only on here because it forces me to try to figure out how this is possible in a show sense. Which yeah I probably don’t need to, but I am a continuity loser who tries to piece together these things. If I had to guess, maybe the memory of Church fixed itself somehow or Caboose was able to recall after being around Church for a little while. But I honestly really don’t know, and trying to think it through hurts my brain. It also did little to nothing either story-wise or comedy-wise, at least we got a few jokes out of the cyborg subplot. IDK, I feel like they gave up on it too soon. But then again this is the saga where they’ll break/ignore continuity for the sake of a joke and that’s just how these seasons worked. Hence why I put it smack-dab in the middle.

#2. Some Holdover S1 Issues

You can tell that there was a mass improvement in terms of production for Season Two. Pacing felt stronger, more was going on, characterizations began to settle in, and they even began to form more of a plot. They clearly had a much better idea of what they were doing now that they got through Season One and I think things like Matt becoming more involved in writing and production as well as Gus moving back to work on the show really helped as well. That being said, not everything got resolved. Most did, but there are still a few holdouts.

Audio mixing is a LOT better, especially when it comes to effects. The filter is still a little distracting, though better compared to S1. Not all the characterizations really set in. Grif and Donut are about 75% there and Simmons and Tucker are probably the least set in stone. The traits are there, like Simmons clinginess to Sarge and Tucker actually showing some competence when forced to, but nothing set in stone. Donut’s also on the right path with his hobbies and tendency to babble into TMI territory, but the voice is still off and his personality isn’t quite there yet. There’s some other, but I’ll touch on it in the Likes list. Some jokes could also still drag, like the whole switch joke where some of Church and Tucker’s back and forth went on a little too long.

We’re clearly making progress, but the mark hasn’t quite been hit. It’s still an improvement over S1 though, the pacing especially. This is nitpicky, but still it’s there. But hey it’s progress, and that is never a bad thing. So yeah, RvB is still evolving here, but the progress bar is loading steadily and trust me, by S3 I think we’ll be settled in… well, for the most part.

#1. Some Outdated Humor

The BGC was made from 2003 to 2007. Obviously, there’s gonna be some stuff that is outdated. Take the graphics themselves for example. Halo has evolved, so the game can look a little outdated, especially when you compare the original footage to the remastered footage. Let's put it this way, VIC is uncanny in the remaster… and is utterly horrifying in the original version. Thank God that the DVD is the remaster and I was spared of looking at that monstrosity. Visuals aren’t the only thing though, some pop culture references can also come off as outdated, like Creed joke in the RL vs Internet PSA. So can some of the humor that shows how stupid we were back only two decades ago.

There are… some jokes that are uncomfortable to listen to. For example, there’s the Grif shaming himself joked by saying he’s a girl and likes ribbons in his hair. It’s not the worst joke and clearly, it isn’t made to offend… but nowadays I think it could look offensive to certain individuals. It didn’t necessarily offend me, but it did kinda make me feel uncomfortable when I first watched it, but it could be me thinking it over too hard. There’s also the casual usage of the R word. Last season it came up a bit, but I noticed it came up more frequently here. Not excessively, but there were quite a few instances where it was treated as a casual curse word. Obviously back in 2004 we didn’t realize this was an offensive term, and I think they’ve even said that they regret the casual usage of it during the early years. You certainly would probably not hear that word used unless maybe to emphasize how terrible a character is, but even then I think they’d be more careful.

Now obviously RvB uses a lot of adult and offensive humor, especially in this era. I guess you can kinda call it the web version of South Park, only RvB has never really resorted to shock humor. It puts it above many, /many/ animated adult comedies in that regard. Still, when you run for this long, you’re gonna have some outdated elements. It’s not necessarily their fault, it just shows that times has changed. Still, it does make some stuff hard to look back on without cringing, and I imagine that the Founders would agree. So yeah… there’s just some stuff that wasn't fun to look back over and S2 isn’t the only offender, but this was where it stood out to me and took me out of the moment. As such, it is Number One.

(Top 5 Likes)