#lion primary model

[wisteria-lodge]

burnt snake primary (interest in a lion model) + burnt snake secondary (badger model)

Hey, I hope you’ll be willing to sort me. I was a timid kid, always did what I was told, I was nice, respectful and I believed what adults were saying. My family valued books so I took pride in reading early too.

It's a normal, human thing to want to please your parents, and to believe what you're told as a child. I suppose a very strong tendency to fit in with the family culture might point to a young Badger primary... but that's not the only explanation. Going to need more data.

I could never play alone and always wanted a friend, almost as much as I wanted peace and quiet of my room. And yet, boredom was often my companion.

Hmm. This need for community, companionship, another person around is sounding very Badgery.

I have two younger siblings and I was their nanny.

Ah. Got it. So if you aren't a Badger secondary... you definitely learned to model it.

I taught them various words and its meanings, but I also cheated in card games, would be mean to them or blame them for things I knew I would be punished harsher for. 

Hmm. Interesting. I mean being mean to your siblings is neither here nor there - I mean I'm sure you resented them a little for nanny duty for one thing, I've been there. But this tactical move of blaming your siblings because you kew that your parents would be more lenient with them... that's definitely the sign of an I-Move secondary (Snake or Bird.)

Once at my job I had (more like wanted) to figure out why the Internet was down, was it the death of a router or electricity problems. A co-worker was convinced it was the router because everything else was on, I wasn’t so sure. I searched my head for the easiest and quickest way to solve this. It was of course to see if the outlet was popped by the kettle before.

I know that English isn't your first language, and I have to admit that I'm not completely sure what "popped by the kettle" means. I think it means "someone accidentally unplugged the router in order to plug the kettle in."

Now that I think about it, there were easier ways to go about this, and without me even leaving the room, but then I figured I’d take an old job NOKIA and see if it charges from that outlet. It didn’t, and I felt really smart and gloated silently that I was right and they weren’t. With high-stakes problems I really think I just do what needs to be done.

You've definitely got this love of going a little bit solo when you problem solve. You did a little experiment, you isolated the problem. Could be Bird... but somehow I'm really getting single-player Environment Snake from you. Might be the slight agent of chaos energy.

I’m a nurse, well, I’ve a nursing degree. Going back to that system after all I’ve been through was a difficult decision. I was bored studying it, a breakup with my friends from college was awful and I still cuss thinking about them, most clinical weeks were shit while we were being ignored, shunned out or used for free labour. Like I had one proper clinical month in 4 years were I was properly taken around with the nurse’s consent, and was given space to learn things. It’s a different republic man.

Sigh. Okay, so it's sounds like your Badger secondary is on full display here with nursing, just like it was with nannying... but I'm sort of thinking it's a model. You CAN do it, but you don't enjoy doing it. This is also the second mention of you being bored. Which, yeah is a human thing... but it's also MORE of a thing for a reactive, improvisational secondary. I'm kind of liking Snake for you.

I never wanted to go back, but job market was shit, so with a heavy heart, kicking and screaming, I faced the reality of me running out of savings, and sent a job application to a hospital, not without my mother’s nudge and support from people I know, who kept saying if it will be awful, you will leave. Sure, like I would even go back if it was that easy.

A badger secondary would put a little more weight on what the community had to say. Also, you talk about always wanting friends as a kid, but as an adult you seem pretty aggressively independent. Burned Badger? Snake?

I know, I know, I could have tried less medical procedures heavy nursing positions, but one thing I knew was that starting in a hospital meant with good social relations I could always ask for help and have an experienced nurse to learn from. Those other places kind of leave you on your own in the field.

So there's definitely some Badger in you. A very PRACTICAL Badger secondary model at the very least.

Sometimes I am a bit sad for being the reasonable one, for not trying to be an artist, to be a translator of a lesser known language, or for not studying literature and living in a dream that one day it will work itself out somehow. But then I get warm in my bed, I get to buy books I want, treat my dogs or get them to a vet when something’s wrong, help my mom or buy a new bed-sheet, and I know being comfortable was more important than whatever my head imagined.

I'm kind of liking Snake primary for you. You have that pin-point practicality Snakes always seem to come back to in the end. Art, following your heart and all that stuff... it sounds nice, and I'd be nice to do. But at the end of the day, the most important thing is to stay warm, buy yourself and your dogs little treats, and help out your mom. That's a Snake primary, with a small circle.

Snake do tend to like Lions, and when things are calm and going well, Snake primaries will often model something else, for fun basically. So I hope something eventually shifts for you (since no situation is permanent) and you can do something maybe a little more Idealistic, which suits your Snake secondary a little better... since I bet it can get both bored and burnt-out by nursing.

Also I know there would’ve been a lot of boot licking, besides the need to be really smart and ingenious, which I wasn’t.

Clients are... a very difficult part of being an artist, it's a thing.

Would I be happier if I followed my sworn oath to never come back? Maybe, if I could study again, learn what I really want, which is too much to pick one subject, as I think a lot of things, could be neat to study for 4 years.

This feels like a Lion primary fantasy to me: Life is loud and chaotic, wouldn't it be nice to spend four years just figuring your self out?

Not nursing though. Maybe if I was able to work in a bookshop or a coffee shop.

This sounds a bit more like a Snake secondary fantasy: work at a nice little shop where there are a lot of low-stakes interesting problems (like figuring out why the router isn't working) and lots of people coming in for you to bounce of of and have fun with.

However, my idea of comfort was more important then. It turned out fine, it doesn’t haunt me.

Because this is, at the end of the day, the only acceptable answer for a Snake primary.

Not like my study years. I’m not sure I would ever go back for masters though, and I shouldn’t, right, as someone who found their subject so boring.

This is definitely a big challenge with you - you get bored easily. Which makes me think Lion secondary or Snake secondary (and with everything else I've read, almost certainly Snake.)

My fantastical dream is living in a nice place, a cottage full of books and comfort near some castle where I can go socialise, work or do anything else with my time that’s needed. But when I come back to my cottage, I am not alone, although I can be if I want to, but instead I am surrounded by a group of friends, who feel like home, who I can be myself with, as in I know I am stupid, and I do and say stupid things as I’m sometimes too airhead or too emotional, but I will first be met with their understanding and kindness rather than judgment and outrage. Basically I want a found family that I don’t have and a home to make my own and with my rules. So little in life is how I want it to be, and only fictional found families are understanding, supporting and kind. That’s why we like them.

I think this is a Double Snake fantasy. Live in a comfortable little cottage, surrounded by friends/found family who "feel like home." That's the dream of a Snake primary. Then you can leave and go someplace cool (a castle!) in order to meet people, work, or just go along with whatever's happening that day. At which point... you come back home and take off all your faces, go into Neutral... and don't have to worry if someone thinks you're stupid, emotional, or air-headed.

(that's a little bit of negative self-talk coming through. Often people with strong Badger secondary influences can look at their Improvisational tendencies and think they're not valid/real/logical. I hope that's not the case with you.)

I know people see reality in various ways. In my reality, everyone is selfish and doing things primarily for themselves (starting with me) so it is hard to understand when we barely can see past our noses.

Yep. You're a Snake primary. A slightly Burned Snake primary, sounds like.

(which might explain why you're sort of fascinated by the Lion way of doing things. Burned Snakes will sometimes model Lion because it seems easier/less painful, and Burned Lions will do the reverse.)

In reality, I want the family heaven, the damn Hallmark Christmas movies. I don’t think I’ll ever do the whole normative family thing, but I’m either lonely or everyday is the same now and nothing’s special.

Staying within the bounds of this system (because I'm not diagnosing anything else over the internet) it sounds like your Snake secondary needs some enrichment. You cheat at games and figure things out for fun! There's got to be something interesting for you to get into. Also - yeah you probably need People apart from your pets and your mom. Easier said than done, though.

I want a plot of land to call my own so I’d be able to put my pets to rest when the time comes, so I’d be able to visit them.

This is why I love Snake primaries. What an incredibly lovely thing to say.

I feel most powerful and confident when I improvise and it works.

SNAKE.

I went for a little trip alone last winter.

Oh yes, absolutely. I love this for you.

I checked for my ride to and back, all possible times, wrote it so that if my devices went out I had something, and I knew I could survive a day or two until my ride home. I booked a place, and I knew where I planned to go for the event. The other 2 days? Who knows, just go around, see the town, explore, and see the places I have not seen. All of this was made spontaneously a few days before because I had a fight with my brother and decided going and staying with a Buddhist group was better than celebrating New Years at home. I had a great time, everything was okay and I am really proud of myself for doing that.

Your Badger model (planning, double checking, making sure all your info is written down) and your Snake secondary (leave on a whim, do whatever once you get there) are playing very well together.

Sounds like a snake secondary right?

Sure does.

But then why do I physically hate lying? I think I am afraid of getting cough [caught?], afraid of not having the right answer in the moment. It seems that I can never evaluate a situation well and choose the right thing to say for a useful lie. I would rather anyone else create the lie and I would then try to make it as honest as possible. I doubt it would work, unless it wasn’t that important.

Your Snake secondary sounds like it's a little Burnt. Not actually that surprising, considering it looks like you've been around such heavy Badger secondary energy all your life, and been expected to use your Badger secondary, and only your Badger secondary, so much. The message you would have been getting is that the Snake secondary way of doing things is - unreliable, cheating, bad. Which just isn't the case. Snake secondaries have a perfectly useful, morally neutral way of doing things.

But all of this - 'I'm afraid, I can't, it wouldn't work,' all that is Burnt secondary language. As is "With high-stakes problems I really think I just do what needs to be done," which is what you said earlier.

I wouldn't be too concerned though. From everything else I've read, you're grounded, stubborn, and have a good sense of who you are. Chances are your Snake secondary is just rusty. Also this: "I would rather anyone else create the lie and I would then try to make it as honest as possible" - that's a good description of how a Snake secondary works. You're bouncing off whoever you're talking to, you're not creating from nothing.

It was difficult when I didn’t know what I’ll do in the future, after school, when all my plans failed. It was really difficult to go through high-school with no friends and shun out, like, if I was a badger primary originally, that would’ve messed me up so bad that I’d never know. I never had a chance to look like the two amazing healthy badgers I know who surrounded themselves with communities and are thriving.

I do think that part of this is just - that you fundamentally do not want a Badger-style community. You want a Snake-style community, which is different.

It was hard when my college friend started to shun me out and drifted away when she found better like I was nothing,

This friend - this one important friend left you, and that gets a shout-out on a level with your plans for the future falling apart. Very Snake primary

or when I had to lie heavily in my academic papers because no one cared to help and I was exhausted to care myself after covid and almost half a year of clinicals and paper writing.

Okay this is fascinating. First, it does sound like you had a bout of situational depression (or similar) which you pushed through, so good for you. But I'm interested in the way that - okay, you lied on your academic papers when push came to shove (which I would expect from a Snake secondary.) BUT. That decision is bound up with your Burnt primary, in feelings of abandonment and loneliness. I'd say you don't like lying, because you associate the need to lie with feeling alone. Ideally, you feel your life should be set up in such a way that you don't *need* to lie.

My relationship with a long time friend from art school is important. She was a positive and inspiring figure in my life, as well as someone who taught me a lot about communication and friendship. We fought a lot, but neither one of us wanted to let the other one go, maybe because we knew we wouldn’t find anyone else who’d match our freak, so we had to figure it out.

Sounds like an important Snake primary relationship.

I love my siblings but all they gave me was a baggage of fear that I was a horrible sibling and broke something in them.

You were a kid. Kids don't have the emotional maturity (or authority) to raise their siblings well, that's just not a job that they're able to do. It's the job of the adults in their life to make sure all those interactions are running as they should. You can be a horror of a little kid a grow up into a wonderful, well-adjusted adult, or you can be a lovely docile little kid and fall apart when you get older. All you can do (all you have to do) is be decent to your siblings now.

My relationship with my mom is really important. To this day she thinks I’d be an artist or that I was a really studious and meticulously prepared person, but without her support I would not be the person I’m today. Neither I’d be that without all the loops I’d to jump because of her haha.

Sounds like your mom might be a Lion Badger. Which could help explain where those models are coming from. It's common for Snake primaries to build models for their important People.

Thank you for your time!

You are very welcome.

Thank you to Novemberkid for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.

[mv1simp]

I have heard your prayers dark!max simps, rejoice now and go forth in peace 🙏

What You Need ♥️

Max Verstappen x Friend’s Girlfriend!Reader

I got everything you want with me, I do everything he does times three. he’s what you want, what you want (I’m what you need)

You've just started dating Daniel and find yourself spending a lot of time with his old team mate, Max Verstappen - who's dark gaze and wandering hands always seem to be on you. It's okay though, Max cares for Daniel as a friend and by extension you too, right? You have no idea Max had already decided long ago you were the perfect girl...just not for Daniel, but for him instead.

Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, innocent virgin! reader, manipulative dark!max, size kink, cheating, very dubcon, somnophilia, drunk!reader, Daniel is a bad bf for plot, 4k WC

Max Verstappen stares at you across the crowded room, the dozens of drunk and dancing people at the house party he was at doing nothing to distract him. You’re giggling prettily at something a friend had said, lifting an almost empty wine bottle to your pink glossed lips and not noticing the heated gaze of the 3 time F1 world champion. As always. He tilts his head, a lion eyeing a baby deer, studying your profile and ignoring the attempts at conversation people make to him.

You’re a mystery to someone like Max - a guy who always has whatever he wanted. He drove the fastest cars in the world, fucked the hottest models, and lived in a penthouse in a city with the most expensive real estate. Everything he desired was at his fingertips - except you, Daniel's Riccardio's newest girl. He had no idea how his former team mate had found you amongst all the trashy influencers and plastic models in Monaco. You’d recently started coming to the paddock, quietly cheering on Daniel in his RB garage several spots down from Max's own first place spot - and that was where Max met you the first time. You were a natural beauty, so sweet and innocent, easily got along with the others on the grid, and were smart, too - studying to be a doctor. And to top it all of you didn't seem to even care that Max was Max Verstappen, world champion - which only intrigued him more.

The first time you talked was when his car had skidded out badly on the RedBull practice track, leaving a nasty cut on his forearm that you had patiently sutured and bandaged, sweetly explaining how to look after his wound with a concerned expression. You really were the perfect girl, and Max had decided right there and then that he had to have you for himself. You were wasted on Daniel - and besides, you two had barely started seeing each other a few weeks ago, just “casually” the Australian has said. Daniel was an idiot for not making it official with you. Ah well, all the more easier for Max to claim you instead.

But you never seemed to have eyes for anyone but Daniel, which perplexed the Dutchman to no end. Max was the one in first place, in the top team that every driver dreamed about, the richest and fastest one on the grid - while Daniel drove as a second rate RB driver, a shadow in the glory of its primary Red Bull team. Yet you'd be beaming at Daniel excitedly as he finished P12, while only shyly saying a brief congratulations to Max in P1 at the afterparty. Max was never one for losing, though - he just needed time to get you to give in and accept everything he could offer you. There was no way you would be happy with a 2nd rate driver - no, he knew what a diamond like you really wanted was someone like him. And it had been easy enough to be around you more and more under the guise of hanging out with Daniel.

Like that time he'd invited you both to his yacht for New Years'. He'd seen your eyes light up in awe at the luxurious vessel, and later than evening when everyone had gone to bed but you were still out admiring the stars, he easily came upto you, large hand grazing your back, standing a lot closer than one might to a girl his mate was dating.

He'd casually pulled a diamond choker out from his pocket and held it out to you on a thick finger. Your eyes had gotten wide at the beautiful gift - big, crystal clear jewels with a dangling pearl "M" in the centre. To say thank you for fixing my cut, he explained. And the M for your last name, right? You had blushed and stuttered uncomfortably at the romantic gift, refusing to accept it - Max, is this Cartier? Oh my god, how expensive was this?

Max joked that his hands were a multimillion asset and you deserved a fitting gift for saving them. Besides, it's rare in my line of work to meet someone so genuine who actually cares for me. You'll take it, right? Since we're friends now? You'd felt guilty at his pouting expression, hesitating but having no choice but to say yes - it was just a friendly thank you, after all, right? He stepped behind you to put it on, his lips brushing your ear as he bends down to your petite height. He doesn't miss the way you shiver at his touch and smirks as he traces a large palm along your neck before bringing the clasp together. Wow, Max, it's truly so beautiful, thank you, you breathe, entranced as you look at the jewels - Daniel was so lucky to have such a caring friend! You completely miss how Max gazes down your cute summery off-shoulder dress, his height behind you giving him the perfect view of your delicious tits - where a pearl M now dangles just above them. He feels a delicious satisfaction at the sight of you in his necklace, on his yacht, and within his arms. Yeah, it's beautiful, he agrees, smiling with just a touch of darkness. Looks great on you. You smile back innocently, not realising the M around your neck didn’t stand for your last name but rather for the M in Max.

Another time, you and Daniel had joined Max's extended group for a weekend retreat to St Tropez. Max hadn't seen you in a while, since you had been busy sitting final exams. But the wait had been worth it when he saw you in your cute little baby pink bikini and gold waist chain. And it had only gotten better when he found you later, dozing alone on a sunbed in the Spanish heat, your idiotic boyfriend nowhere in sight and leaving you unprotected to Max's predatory advances. You blinked your eyes open sleepily as Max set down a chilled G&T at your side. You thank him sweetly, too lazy to sit up properly and just lean over to suck up the refreshing drink from the straw, giving Max an enjoyable teaser of what you might look like sucking something else of his. Sorry I haven't been much fun, you say apologetically, especially after you've been so nice to invite me. I'm still catching up on sleep from my exams.

Max assures you not to worry about anything, telling you to nap to your hearts' content, making you giggle cutely. You look around, trying but failing to see Daniel and pout cutely when he's nowhere to be found. He'd promised to put sunscreen on my back, you explain, slumping back onto the comfy cushion with a yawn. I'm really sorry to bother you, Max, would you mind? I don't want to burn-

Max snatches up the golden opportunity, Don't worry, schat, he reassures, and you tiredly file a mental note to google that word later. I'll take good care of you. You smile at him gratefully, closing your eyes as he slowly rubs across your tantalizing caramel skin with his large, rough palms. You never notice how his steely blue eyes greedily roam up and down your body, but you do gasp in surprise when he slowly undoes one of your bikini strings, turning to look back at him - just have to get under them to apply it properly, sorry, you're a little burnt here, Max’s apology sounds so sincere that you say Oh, of course, turning back around and feeling silly for getting worried. So you don't question him further when he undoes the other set of strings on your bikini top, your back now completely exposed for him, and his warm palms feel sooo good against your aching muscles that you accidentally let out a moan. This time you hastily apologize but Max chuckles, saying your shoulders carried the tension of a hostile terrorist-hostage situation. He offers to give you a hand with a deep muscle relaxation massage he uses.

You hesitate, not sure if this is pushing the boundaries of what's okay, but when Max says that he does this for Daniel all the time, you relax, surely Daniel wouldn't mind then, right? It's all too easy to fall back into a light sleep as Max continues to rub the stress out of your sensitive little body, his hands so much larger and stronger than your boyfriends’ that it makes you feel reallyyy good in places you didn’t know you could be. You're too content to care when Max's touches drift down your sides, grazing against the full swell of your tits, or when he goes lower, and lower, and your bikini bottoms are now undone and he's squeezing across your juicy ass, making you moan sweetly while half asleep. You're completely soft and relaxed underneath him, forgetting that your own boyfriend hasn't yet touched you in the intimate places Max now had. If you had looked back you would have seen Max lazily stroking his erect, big cock as he stood over you, taking some pictures for later as he spreads your pliant chubby thighs and zooms in on the wet slick that had started to gather in between your legs and drip down then. Smirking to himself with the proof that your body was so affected by him, he jerks himself off with rapid pumps, breathing heavily as he shoots a large load of hot, white streaks all over your tan ass. You hmmm at the feeling, jiggling your hips, but don’t bother fully awaking to investigate as Max huskily leans down and whispers in your ear that you just needed a bit more cream there, sweetheart.

You nod, settling back into a comfortable sleep as Max rubs his cum all over your ass territorially, smirking darkly at how innocent you were. By the time Daniel returns to your side, he finds you still snoozing peacefully, your bikini tied back up in perfect little bows and Max long gone.

As the days went on you found yourself more and more in the company of Max, and you couldn’t deny the flutter you felt sometimes now when you looked at the older Dutch man. He was so handsome, so generous, and so considerate of you - so much more than Daniel was - and you felt immensely guilty at the disloyal thoughts that would spring up. Especially since Max was just being a good friend to you but you were starting to develop all sorts of inappropriate feelings. One training weekend you decided to be a good girlfriend and took a freshly packed homemade lunch down to the Redbull track to energize your boyfriend.

Max caught sight of you first, and easily fed Daniel some bullshit about the RB social manager needing him to review an insta post - just on the other side of the track. By the time you walked into the garage it was just Max, who told you that Daniel had gone out for lunch, actually, one of his friends was in town. That French model, I think? Oh! Yep, the one who was in Vogue last month.

He didn’t miss the flicker of uneasiness that spread onto your face as you were informed your boyfriend was out on a lunch date with a model. Oh, you say, feeling insecure and stupid that you’d come all the way here - but Max easily wraps a strong, comforting arm around your shoulders and reassures you, insisting that you join him for lunch instead and surely come for a ride, yeah?

He completely takes your mind off your worries by speeding you around in his racecar on a hot lap, and you’re screaming in pure excitement and delight, one hand automatically grabbing his large thigh. He’s so much faster and smoother than Daniel, and you bite your lip as you watch him sexily manoeuvre through tight corners. Afterwards, your stomach is all queasy from the speed and he laughs and helps you out of the car, and you end up having a picnic by the waterfront with your homemade grilled sandwiches and slices of lemon cake. God, this is so good, Max moans as he scoffs down a second slice. You’ve completely ruined my diet. Daniel’s so stupid to miss out on a lunch like this. If you were my girlfriend, I’d never spend a meal away.

You blush at his words, feeling flattered but also a little on edge - it was a bit strange of Max to wonder what it would be like dating you when you’re dating his friend, right? You pick at the grass, suddenly avoiding his gaze and feeling guilty again. Max notices immediately, eyes narrowing, but changes the topic to ask about how your studies were going to which you respond enthusiastically. Afterwards, you thank Max for being such a caring friend and knowing just how to cheer you up. You miss how his jaw clenches at the word "friend", because he would much rather be known as your boyfriend - or preferably, husband.

Later, for good measure, because he never did things half heartedly, he asks his good friend - the French model on the Vogue cover last month - to swing by the RB station and greet Daniel, his mate who’s a big fan and would love to meet her. Conveniently, the paparazzi just happen to capture the moment when she kisses his cheek, and within hours the photos have blown up about Daniel's latest fling and you’re being sent it by all your friends. It leads to a huge fight between you and Daniel, making you storm off only to end up calling Max, crying and apologising but asking if he would pick you up. He’s all too eager, arriving within minutes in his sleek Aston Martin, all comforting and warm as you sob into his secure chest and he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. But despite it all you still shakily smile and thank him, saying you should head back and work it out with Daniel. You were just too sweet and loving for your own good. Max needed to step up his game plan - if it wasn't money, status or his charm, how would he sway you into his arms?

The final piece of the puzzle came together at the Barcelona Grand Prix. The Redbull and RB drivers all happened to be sharing a hotel that weekend, and as Max is walking back to his room one night he hears moaning coming from Daniel’s room - the one that he knows you’re sharing with him. Being the perv he is, Max doesn’t hesitate to crack open the shared ensuite door and see his naked ex-teammate rutting up against your plump ass, sliding his small dick back and forth between your asscheeks as you lay on your stomach - fully clothed in a shorts pajamas set, looking almost bored. Confused, Max tries to figure out what the fuck you’re doing - only to get his answer when Daniel pathetically whines please, honey, please can I take these off, I want to be inside you-

No! You snap at him, turning to face him with a glare. I told you, I’m saving my virginity for marriage. Stop asking me. This is all you get.

Oh, shit. You were a fucking virgin? Max’s jaw is practically on the floor and it takes him a few minutes to collect himself before he quietly closes the door and leaves to ponder on this new information. You really were the perfect girl for him. He was going to claim you in every sense of the word - until no one had any doubt about who you belonged to. He smirked, already hatching up a diabolical plan.

And that was how Max now found his gaze fixed at you, barely a week later, at this house party where you’d clearly had too much to drink. Swiping his phone out his pocket, he shoots a text to his very helpful friend the Vogue model again - this time asking her to help out a certain Australian driver who was quite sexually frustrated at the moment. Having sorted out the issue of your boyfriend for the time being, Max strides over to you, who’s now all alone in the kitchen messily trying to pour another drink. You’re dressed in the cutest little pleated miniskirt, stumbling on matching kitten heels, and Max feels all the blood rush to his cock as he sees you’re wearing the diamond choker he gifted you.

You haven’t seen him yet so he comes up behind you, guiding your hands to pour the drink smoothly. You giggle, assuming your boyfriend has arrived, and rub your ass against his crotch. Daniel! You exclaim happily, turning around and burying yourself in the Redbull hoodie he wore. Mmmh, baby, you’re here! You love when he wears this hoodie, because sometimes you like to cuddle it and wonder - just for a few seconds! - if it was Max's arms around you instead. Not that you'd ever admit these illicit thoughts to either party.

Meanwhile, Max’s eye twitches at the insult of being called the name of his supbar ex-teammate, but then you’re rubbing your pink nails all over his shoulders and back and pressing your soft, curvy body against his much larger frame and drunkly whispering have you been working out? You’re sooo much bigger and musclier than I remember you being, it’s super hot!

Max can’t help chucking at your cute antics, telling you let’s go somewhere more quiet, baby. Grabbing your drinks, he easily tosses you over his shoulder and exits out the back door to avoid your friends, slapping your ass for good measure as your miniskirt rises up, making you yelp in excitement. He definitely must have been working out because you can't ever remember when he has lifted you so easily before! He leads you into the dark and empty pool house, well and truly away from any prying eyes.

Throwing you onto the plush sofa, he purposely leaves the lights off as you squint up to see his dark, tall silhouette. You whine for him to come closer, asking where did the music gooo and after connecting to the speakers he drops down next to you. You climb eagerly onto his lap, excitedly yapping about how much you love this Redbull hoodie. His large hands automatically come up to rest on your ass, thick fingers sliding underneath your miniskirt and pulling your thong to the side as he begins teasing your slit. You instinctively grind against his leg, pushing back against his fingers, cause wow, baby, when did you get so good at this? You meet his eyes finally when you lean in to kiss him and you squeal in surprise as you realise just who you’re desperately humping. Mmmh-Max?!? Ohmygod what are you doing here-

Max is immediately annoyed that you seem to have come to your senses, but as you begin to pull away, he hatches a new plan. I just came to tell you the bad news myself, schat, he says earnestly. You’re confused at what he means but he pulls up his messages and shows you a video (his friend works very fast, after all) that has you recoiling in disgust. But Max makes sure that you see every second of it - of the French model filming Daniel’s pathetic scrunched up face as she rides him into oblivion, him moaning please can I come, mommy?

Max has to resist his snort. Fucking pathetic. You could do so much better - with him. Sorry you had to hear it like this, Max lies through his teeth, not sorry one bit, I just wanted you to hear it from me and not the news outlet. But you just climbed on top of me and began doing all this and I couldn’t stop it-

His guilt trip works perfectly and you’re back to bouncing in his lap, teary eyes, saying I’m so sorry Maxie, that’s all my fault, I thought you were Daniel but I guess we’re broken up now, can I make it up to you? What can I do?

Bingo. Tilting his head, Max smirks darkly at you. Can you just use your lips to drain some of the stress, baby? It got all tense cause of your grinding. You widen your brown doe eyes, confused but he just guides you down with a strong hand to sit on your plump ass in between his legs. My lips? You say breathlessly, and Max nods, guiding your head to his crotch as you immediately start sucking on his straining bulge. Like-like this Maxie? You ask innocently, voice muffled. Not quite, Max strains through gritted teeth. Unzipping himself, he guides his thick length out against to rest against your face with a thwack. Your eyes go wide at the size. Maxie is much, much bigger than your boyfriend.

Ex, the world champion corrects, as you accidentally say it out loud. He’s just an ex now. Now, you going to be a good girl and clean up the mess you made?

You nod obediently and sloppily take him into your mouth, choking and gagging as you go. Max moans blissfully as he finally has you, angling his flash onto your face - just to help you see what you’re doing, he lies sweetly - whilst recording the filthy blowjob he’s tricked you into performing. You moan around his length, Max is always so thoughtful towards you! You’re determined to clear up any ounce of tension your earlier actions had caused him - not noticing that his cock is only getting harder as you coat with it your saliva and lip gloss.

Swearing at your eager mouth and nearly finishing early, Max sadly has to put an end to this as he has other plans in store. He manhandles you again, this time carrying you in his arms up the stairs and tossing you onto the bed. Before you can orient yourself he’s yanked his clothes off and climbed on top of you, asking you to open your mouth wide so he can check you’ve drained him properly. You do so dumbly, and Max messily spits before shoving his thick tongue down your throat as you start moaning again. Mmh, don’t think you got it all, sweetheart. Max says disapprovingly. Plus, you made me all messy with your lipgloss. How am I going to go back to the party like this, huh?

You go teary eyed again at the demanding tone, anxious you’d made Max mad. You beg to suck him off again, promising you’d lick up all the mess this time, but he sighs, running his hands through his hair and saying not enough, think I need to relieve it a different way. You nod eagerly, whatever you need Maxie, but squeal in suprise when he grabs your ankles and lifts your legs up over his shoulder, flipping your skirt up and ripping your panties in half to expose your dripping pussy. Maxie- Ohmygod, what are you doing, is this really- you’re babbling frantically, hearing a voice at the back of your mind tell you Max was taking this too far.

Max cooes words of reassurance at you, Shhh schat, this is the only way to feel better, okay? You’ll help me out, right? After I helped you?

You hesitate but give in, unable to resist your growing desire for the handsome driver. He grins cockily at you, leaning down and lapping at your intimate parts with his skilled tongue, saying he just needed to make sure you were all relaxed first before he started. You feel bad that you’re enjoying it this much, since Max has to do all the work himself, but it feels soo good, and you moan Max’s name over and over as he starts sliding his fat aching cock in between your slick folds.

Almost there, baby, he hisses, sweat running down his back as he yanks your crop top off, leaving you in the sparkly choker with his initial across your heaving tits. He turns the camera back onto your blissed out face again, wanting to capture the expression on your face when he enters you for the first time. You smile back adoringly with your doe eyes, unaware of just how long of a night he had in store for you or how many times you would come apart on his cock, your precious virginity now all his.

And the next morning when you’d arrive on the paddock, meekly walking past the RB garage and straight into Max’s Redbull motor home, he would reply to Daniel’s confused texts with a picture of his hand across your bejeweled throat, hickeys littering your tits, so that there would be no more questions about what you were doing at Max’s side. Just how you were always meant to be ❤️‍🔥

—————————————————————————

A/N: GUYS I need to write some fluff after this I feel like I’ve objectified this poor man with like 7 straight smut stories in a row omllll

[kiame-sama]

The Half-Human Young I have drawn so far and their associated fathers.

Obligatory Drider warning

Jack and his Pups. 5 females, 1 Male. Rainbow humanoid, Fenrir male. Rainbow black, unnamed female. Tan/Brown Gradient, unnamed female. Blue/Purple Gradient, unnamed female. Yellow/Green Gradient, unnamed female. Red/Orange Gradient, unnamed female.

(The black rainbow female pup is actually the spiciest temper wise of the six pups and the most likely to get into a fight, the Yellow/Green Gradient pup being the most passive and meek of the six. Fenrir is the most mid-tempered of the six, he can snap haughtily like Vil does, but usually he is quite calm. The Tan/Brown Gradient pup is usually the peacekeeper of the pups.)

Vil and his Peachicks. 3 males, 1 female. Sunset colored peachick, Dusk male. Inverse/Negative colored peachick, unnamed male. Rainbow tie-dye peachick, unnamed male. Monochrome peachick, Obsidian female.

(Technically, the peachicks are a little over 50% Human, as Vil has a touch of Human blood in him as well, so they are closer to 55%-60% Human and all the more addictive).

Rook and his Driderlings. 4 Females, 4 Males. Peacock pattern, unnamed male. Orchid Mantis pattern, unnamed Male. Monarch Butterfly pattern, unnamed male. Blue ringed octopus pattern, unnamed female. Zebra pattern, unnamed female. Golden Huntsman Xanthic pattern, unnamed male. Leopard print pattern, unnamed female. Panther Chameleon, unnamed female.

(The Golden Huntsman male is closest with Rook and the most interested in hunting out of the Driderlings. The Peacock male and the Orchid Mantis male are the most interested in modeling/acting. The Blue Ring Octopus female and the Panther Chameleon female are both more interested in styling and designing clothing, more of the coture side of designing. The Zebra and Jaguar females are more interested in studying animals than in hunting them. The Monarch Butterfly male is more interested in studying the various sentient species of Twisted Wonderland)

Kalim and baby Malik. 1 Male.

(Malik is a miniature Kalim in personality and general outlook on life, a ball of sunshine who trusts readily.)

Leona and his cubs. 1 female, 1 male. White gold cub, Kimba, Male. Rose gold cub, unnamed female.

(Note: Kimba is actually the name of a Japanese cartoon white lion who came before Simba and who the Lion King was loosely based off of)

Malleus and his Hatchlings. 5 Males, 3 Females. Mallechite Thorn (black Male), Mallenite (purple Male), Mallessial (blue Male), Malevian (green female), Malerigold (yellow female), Malevance (orange female), Mallek (red male), Malleon (white male)

(Mallechite is the first to hatch and the primary owner of the collective braincell dinging around from skull to skull. As the first born, he is technically next in line for the throne and is a miniature Malleus in personality. Malleon is the last to hatch and the most clueless of the hatchlings as well as the most playful of the hatchlings, closely bonded to Lilia. Malerigold is actually the sweetest of the hatchlings and prefers to sit quietly among a field of flowers as opposed to playing. Mallek fights the most out of the hatchlings and has the worst temper of the eight. Malevance is the most spiteful of the hatchlings and does not take offensive behavior from others lightly. Mallenite is closest to Mallechite and the two are almost always together. Mallessial is most attached to Silver and enjoys walking with Silver while he guards. Malevian actually likes Sebek most and does a baby crocodile cry most often to get Sebek's attention.)

[liltalle]

Sorting A Practical Guide to Evil - Sorting Hat Chats

This web serial is one of my favorite stories of all time, and it's all about differing perspectives on morality and the effectiveness of different methods—perfect for SHC. (The premise is a girl of the heroic mold joining up under the Dread Empire to help her people when all the attempted heroes have failed—reminiscent of Baru Cormorant if anyone's read that.)

I've had sorting notes in my back pocket for years, and it's high time I put them out into the world. I don't know how many people here are still into it, it's still live if anyone wants to try it, but there will be spoilers below. The basics of the sorting system are explained here, archetypes reference found here.

Catherine Foundling - Badger Lion. The Dark Protagonist sorting, I love it. Cat is very clear that her loyalty is to Callow, and a core theme of the story could be described as the lengths Loyalists are willing to go for what's theirs, how they shed Idealist restraints, and how they discover that sometimes playing nice is actually the practical way to get what they want. Cat is contrasted early on with William, who at least performs Lion, with his naive idealism about the ideal of Callow, the King, the banners, "freedom". Cat insists that it's about the people and their well-being, under whatever flag. She is attached to Callowan culture, grudges and so forth, "she is Callowan, in the end", and those ideas drive her decisions, even as she breaks with some of them. It's a source of conflict and sadness for her, that she's gone against her people to help them, that they hate her, that she can't last as Queen. Her Primary becomes more open as she goes on: she comes to see Praesi as more diverse and human, she adopts the Fifteenth and its varied peoples until she becomes a banner for all oppressed people's under the Praesi, and her aegis eventually extends over all of Calernia when it's clear that the only way to solve her problems. But her heart never seems to leave Callow. She regrets sacrificing personal loyalties for what she needs to do, but she always does it. And the recklessness and ruthlessness of her Lion Secondary is legendary in-story. Everything explodes around her, she sacrifices her own life as an opening gambit, her power depends on an unbroken string of victories, she's a Thresher (as the Pilgrim describes her) driving deep loyalties and animosities. She picks up a Bird Secondary model from Black as the story progresses, learning to stand back and scheme from a distance rather than risking herself, and it reaches brilliant heights at the Prince's Graveyard, she relished the planning and stayed steps ahead of everyone else, but she's a brawler at heart.

Amadeus of the Green Stretch - Badger Bird. The King / Mob Boss archetype is on point. An inveterate schemer, de-facto king of Callow, always has another sword or sharper in his shadow. Maddie tries to convince Cat that he's on the side of Evil spitting in the eye of the Heavens, but as @lilietsblog argues eloquently here, his true loyalty is to Praes. He raises the idea of Evil as a group for Cat to put them on the same side, and engage that Lion Sec defiance, avoiding the clear fact that their loyalties are to Praes and Callow, and those are likely to clash at some point. He hates much about Praes, but Alaya correctly points out to him that he can't butcher his way into being born in a different homeland. Everything he does is to break the cycle that's devastated his homeland (and Cat's, but that's not his problem) since its foundation. Watching Nefarious' rout and learning about the grain problem are formative experiences for his path. His break with Alaya is a clear split between their different Loyalties: he's loyal to what Praes could be, needs to be, and is willing to break it to make that happen, while Alaya is a Snake in need of control, and she's content to play the game if that's what she needs to do, reform is a nice idea to her but it's not a moral imperative. Amadeus dies for it.

Akua Sahelian - Double Snake (Double Bird model). - Akua thinks she's a Double Bird early on, with all her speeches on "iron sharpens iron" and the glory days of Evil, her elaborate brilliant schemes and devices. But it's not where she truly shines. She becomes something different after Catherine beats her on the terms of her philosophy and shatters her plans. She's a spirit bound to a cape and she... works with it. She's endlessly subtle and seductive, she plays the Woe off each other and inserts herself into the group with alarming ease. She loves flirting with Catherine, she prides herself on her resilience - a Snake Secondary. As for the Primary... oh, poor Akua. She was deliberately Burned young, when her mother ordered her to kill her only friend by her own hand. Akua remains attached, amazingly, to her father, and a little to Barika, though she doesn't want to admit that one. Her father's death is one of the times we see her truly wounded. When Catherine beats her, her philosophy says that she belongs to her now, but that bond becomes something else. The easy companionship of the Woe, that Akua's so deftly maneuvering into, makes her feral. She describes being invited to a fireside feast with Cat's friends as maybe the cruelest thing ever done to her. Because there's nothing in the world she wants so much as love like that. Catherine herself becomes Akua's focus, someone she wounded beyond all forgiveness becoming the only person she wants... (God, this story. My unBurning Snake Primary bleeds with hers.)

Hakram Deadhand - Double Badger. We have a Evil Peacemaker too, it's so good. Hakram is Burnt at the beginning, not because of trauma, but because nothing's really inspired him until Cat. Her project brings him to life, and he loves it... until his people need him. It's a terrible decision, but in the end, the orcs are his in a way Callow is not. (These conflicting Badger loyalties between people who love each other do make my Snake sad.) And he, along with Scribe, is one of the most brilliant Badger Secondaries I've ever seen. He has magical paperwork-speed abilities, he doesn't sleep, he maintains vast networks, he's explicitly the power behind the throne. And when pushed to a crisis with Vivienne, what does he does but sacrifice himself, embodying the solution, trading a piece of himself for her trust. He's kind and scary and thorough, I love it.

Indrani - Double Snake. Girl's a pretty easy sort. She cares about her hedonism and her freedom and her friends. She's a flirt, she talks a lot but carefully doesn't reveal much. She's the one to tell Cat how deeply the personal loyalty she's offered means to the Woe. She singed under Hye's harsh treatment, put that cruelty onto her fellows, but with Cat's kindness, she unBurns that part of her Primary, reconciling with Cocky.

Masego - Double Bird. Another on-the-nose stereotype, our magnificent autistic boy. He's got a speech about his world collapsing before his eyes was a formative experience for his effort to understand the nature of reality. He's frank that apotheosis is a higher priority for him than his friends, but he does work them into his system a little. He invents a new theory of magic. He's unsettled by Cat's recklessness, he's tempted by knowledge, he's a magpie when it comes to arcane tools... I want to talk about him more because I love him, but I think this one's solid (it could be the standard autistic Bird Secondary model, but he seems very comfortable with it, so, Occam's Razor, it's his base).

Vivienne Dartwick - Lion Snake. I have a less of a read on Vivienne's internals, but this one makes the most obvious sense. Her loyalty shift is different than Catherine's, and I think it's suggestive how Cat leans on Viv as a moral compass when she doesn't trust herself. While I don't remember the details of why she joined the Woe, Hakram convincing her to stay I think points strongly to Lion. She doubts herself and her worth, and it throws her into a spiral, until she knows, by Hakram's brutal in-her-face sacrifice, that she's trusted and needed. And then she lights up again. Her Secondary... she's literally doing the Robin Hood thing, she fits the archetype. She doesn't build her network quite like Hakram, she doesn't seem Built at all, she's quick on her feet, but not great in a direct fight.

Alaya of Satus - Double Snake. Alaya's formative moment was when her father was nailed to the floor of her inn by the Sentinels. She was powerless to protect someone she loved, and then she was kidnapped into one of the most dangerous environments on Calernia. Her Primary got a little Exploded wrt her need for control, she sharpened her Secondary to terrifying subtlety, and she became Empress. As I said above, her break with Maddie about her need for control ("Praes is a game that can be won") vs. his moral drive for reform ("Praes is a mold that can be broken").

Scribe - Snake Badger. - Scribe's function is to serve Amadeus (even without his knowledge), and her abilities are the apotheosis of a Badger Secondary - unobtrusive, insanely fast at paperwork, can maintain a cross-continental spy network from a tent. (I'm so jealous.)

Sabah - Snake Lion. - Sabah fights with the Calamities because they're her friends, and is happy to go home to her husband when they don't need her. She's slightly sad about the heroes she has to kill, but if they're in her way, she doesn't regret it at all. Her hammer, and the directness of the Beast? Very Lion Secondary. She gains power on her vision quest when she just... asserts loyalty to the Calamities and fucking kills the god.

Wekesa - Snake Bird. Another Occam's sorting. Wekesa blatantly cares about his husband and son, his friends, and his fun research. He refuses to run a mage academy for Amadeus' project because it would be annoying. His specialization in wards and creative use of that is one of his edges. And it does fit the archtype.

Hye Su - Lion Bird. I'm a little baffled by Hye, but this one might work. Her need for freedom points to an Internal Primary, and she doesn't attach to people really. She dedicated to herself growing stronger, doing ridiculous things like visiting Keter to see one of the few people who can still challenge her. She fights the Queen of Summer, because (and is vicious about her dignity, she doesn't kill them for annoying her because Amadeus would be bothered, but it's a very shallow Snake model). And the Secondary, I'm going off of vibes: the impulse to perfection, to turn herself into the weapon, the hard work, resonates with my Badger Secondary, but she doesn't network at all, and it feels more like a Rapid-Fire Bird, learning new tricks for Keter's traps every time, but internalizing everything so she'll be ready for anything. Her tools, her Aspects, are meta, they're about learning, and they're very dangerous, but I think it's a superficial similarity to a Badger's become-the-tool method.

William of Greenbury - Burnt Snake, Lion. I'm taking the more interesting choice here. William is tormented by a choice he feels he can never be forgiven for: butchering his sister to save himself. While any Primary is likely to find this horrific, a Snake would find it the most pointedly devastating. And running with this theory, we find William trying to model a Lion Primary by running to Contrition. I think a True Lion would hate himself a little less, would see a righteous cause as meaning something in atonement. William feels that the debt can never be paid down. That Burning's in his Name, he's the Lone Swordsman, he doesn't connect with anyone anymore. And the Lion Secondary seems straightforward. While he's not the best inspirational leader, he mirrors Cat in ruthlessness and blowing stuff up and self-sacrifice.

Cordelia Hasenbach - Double Badger. Another of the many nationalist Badger Primaries in this cast, Cordelia is loyal to Procer. She only seeks to rule it when it's clear no one else can save it from itself, she works herself into the ground, crosses lines with superweapons, all for her love of her country. And her power is in her mastery of etiquette, that thing the Lycaonese usually scorn, Southerners don't expect it of her, but she triumphs in the Highest Assembly in her darkest hours via mastery of the rules even in the midst of a coup. I can feel her Secondary's delight at winning within the system despite the chaos around her. And she refuses to cheat by taking a Name, she's no better than anyone else, they're all citizens of Procer and no one is above the law. She's only tempted by one when she seems to need one for her people to be safe.

Hanno of Arwad - Double Lion. I'm a little confused about Hanno, but the coin is definitely about a Burnt Idealist leaning on something external to himself, which he then loses, so he has to learn to trust himself again. And he feels more like a Burnt Lion using the Seraphim as an infallible external system (imitating Bird). Secondary-wise, he's offended by the suggestion of deception. In the trial of the Red Axe, he expects his heroes to be good, fights Christophe to the ground when he has to, but refuses further action, he feels betrayed when Cat and Cordelia come up with a clever solution around him.

Juniper - Lion Bird. Juniper's in love with war, the challenge. Not because it's an orc thing, she avoided her responsibilities to draw battles in the dirt, but because she wants it. Glory is motivating to her, she wants to fight battles like no one's ever seen, she revels in it. And her methods are very explicitly Birdy: she likes a versatile toolbox, and she's the best at using it. Only a Built Secondary could plan out a battle, see the crossbow she has pointed at the enemy in her mind's eye... and go to sleep, confident that her forces will win without her.

Robber - Double Snake. The beautiful little gremlin. He wants to be free of the Grey Eyries, he delights in mayhem, bloodshed, and pranks, he's loyal to Cat personally and gives no shits about the rules (to Juniper's exasperation)... love him.

Pickler - Double Bird. A simple guess: she loves engineering... and that's kind of her whole thing, she wants to make cool new ballistae, Robber and Nauk's attentions are nice but they're not her focus...

Kairos Theosodian - Bird Snake. In the Artist archetype with the Joker, he's got a philosophy about why he's truly Evil, and delights in chaos and betraying everyone around him and using that chaos as a ladder until he goes out in glorious making-a-point.

Phew, that was so many characters (I could add Grey Pilgrim, Saint of Swords... but it's long enough for now). I haven't brushed up on the books in a while, let me know if I got any details wrong.

This book has much to say about morality and problem-solving that I feel I should have more meta relating it to SHC, maybe I'll work it out another day, it'd be very fun, but I've wanted to post this for actual years, so... here it is!

[arizonaraine]

Sorting Hat Chats: Gladiator

I. Freaking. Love. This. Movie. Is it historically accurate? Not especially. Is the story fairly simple? Yes, but there's a difference between a SIMPLE story and a SIMPLISTIC one. The performances are top notch, the music, the costumes... *chef's kiss.*

So, without further ado...

Maximus is a Badger primary. He recognizes the humanity in the Germanic tribes-- "would you (know you're beaten), Quintus? Would I?" He's a great general, but his heart is at home with his family. After the first battle, he spends time among the wounded and is upset when it is suggested that they "died for nothing." He's deeply loyal to the memory Marcus Aurelius. Wherever Maximus goes, he collects people (Juba, Proximo, the German, Lucius) by being kind when he doesn't necessarily need to be. He inspires loyalty and goodness in others just by being who he is.

In true protagonist style, Maximus is a Lion secondary. There's no pretending with him-- if Maximus feels something is wrong, he won't do it. "With all my heart, no," he says to Marcus Aurelius when he initially refusing to become protector of Rome-- it's a gut reaction. He will not salute Commodus; he turns his back on him. Though he shows some Bird-like strategizing in battle, to me, it reads as an intuitive grasp of going on-- the art of reacting to things rather than planning for them. Even his habit of feeling the earth before going into battle screams Lion: it's a tactile, grounding, in-the-moment exercise.

Lucilla is a Snake primary. She cares about Rome, she cares about her father's memory, she cares about Maximus-- but at the end of the day, she will prioritize her son's safety ahead of everyone and everything else. (Side note: I think that Ridley Scott writes Snake women a lot-- Lucilla and Sybilla from Kingdom of Heaven are pretty much the same character). There's room to argue for more depth here, but I feel that her primary is pretty straightforward.

I read Lucilla as a Bird secondary. She's strategic where Maximus is not. She makes practical decisions, lays plans, and collects information behind the scenes. She also seems to use a bit of a Snake secondary model-- or maybe it's her Bird secondary in an "Actor Bird" form. She knows how to play Commodus, and tries something similar with Maximus-- a little flirty, a little coy-- and drops it the minute she sees it's not working with him.

Commodus is also a Snake primary, but an Exploded one. His whole worldview and perception of himself is wrapped up in a handful of people. He's desperate for his father's approval, even after he kills him (there's a scene in the director's cut with Commodus destroying a bust of Marcus Aurelius, then hugging/clinging to the ruins). All Commodus wants to be loved by his father, his sister, and the people of Rome. With the latter, he compares himself to a father and the people to children. He wants to give them the love he feels he was denied. But his idea of love is destructive to his wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around him. In the end, it gets him killed in the arena-- defeated by his own need for the crowd's approval.

Commodus is a Lion secondary with absolutely no impulse control. His father rejects him? Kill him. Maximus defies him? Try to kill him. His one strategic success comes when he accepts the counsel of a senator to "let (his enemies) come... and nibble." Challenging Maximus-- a GENERAL with YEARS OF EXPERIENCE-- to fight him in the arena is a terrible idea, but Commodus does it anyway.

Marcus Aurelius doesn't get as much screen time as I wish he did (RIP, Richard Harris). He's our lone Bird primary. He's THE Philosopher. He has carefully constructed his worldview, weighed his options, and decided on a course of action. He believes that Commodus is "not a moral man" because he lacks the virtues that Marcus Aurelius values: wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance. His choice to make Maximus the protector of Rome is careful and deliberate-- he's observed Maximus in many situations and knows that he does not desire power. That's why it must be Maximus. It's perfectly logical to him, and he believes that he can explain it to any reasonable person (unfortunately, Commodus is far from reasonable). Marcus Aurelius forever puts first the idea of Rome: it is his bright, shining TRUTH.

He's also a Bird secondary: the man writes like nobody's business. He's a deep thinker, a strategist, a collector of maps and other odds and ends to put in his toolkit.

I read Proximo as a Glory Hound Lion. He was once a gladiator himself, and you can feel it in his speeches about the crowd: even though he knows that fame is a fickle mistress, he loves the adulation, the money, being a star. He misses it. He believes that he and his men belong in the Colosseum. Before they go in to fight, he fills them up with his vision of glory.

I think that he's a Snake secondary. He can be charming, he can be adaptable. He plays people off each other to get the best price. He was "the best" in the arena because he "won the crowd." But he knows how and when to cut his loses and go blunt. He describes himself as "an entertainer."

Bonus! I see Juba as a Double Badger. He tends to Maximus's wound even before they become friends. He relies on memories of his people and traditions when things are at their bleakest. He offers encouragement in his own quiet, wise way. Some of the best lines in the movie are his, IMO: "I will see you again. But not yet. Not yet," and "you have a great name. He must kill your name before he kills you."

TL;DR:

Maximus: Badger Primary, Lion Secondary ("The Protagonist")

Lucilla: Snake Primary, Bird Secondary, possible Snake secondary model ("The Villain/the Mastermind")

Commodus: Snake Primary, Lion Secondary ("The Lancelot")

Marcus Aurelius: Bird Primary, Bird Secondary ("The Scientist")

Proximo: Lion Primary, Snake Secondary ("The Robin Hood")

Juba: Badger Primary, Badger Secondary ("The Peacemaker")

(archetype titles ala @wisteria-lodge:))

[dingusmccringus]

Ok so, back in the day…

I say this and it was only a year ago, but I had a heavy HEAVY crush on my boi Azrael when his Primaris model came out. Like… c’mon, look at that hunk of muscle 👀…

Anyways, here was a video to show just how unhinged I am about the Dark Angels (Azrael specifically)

In case you wanted to see what it looked like-

I swear one day I’ll redraw him… I was really proud of my work despite the fact that it took me forever and I’ve never drawn the Lion’s Helm…

[puddleorganism]

Pondering a new rancher au (yes the giant fucking bird is Jimmy) - rambling/explanation under the cut

[Image IDs:

ID 1: a digital drawing of Jimmy/SolidarityGaming and TangoTek, in which Jimmy is a massive approximately 20 foot/6 meter tall bird-like creature. He’s standing idly (to show off his design) with a nervous smile on his face. He has a long neck and long legs that make him look like a dinosaur, but he is covered in light golden-brown feathers and has wings. His wings are huge, the primaries/tips sticking out behind his back. They’re modeled after a turkey vulture’s wings. He’s got a grey hooked beak that is mostly covered in feathers. He’s also got long tail feathers that look just short of skimming the ground. His legs are dark grey with huge talons. All over his legs, wing tips, and tail feathers is a dark grey ash. Tango’s sitting cross-legged on his back/shoulders, hunched over and looking at one of those map books you usually have in your car. (Note: the next image is of Tango, so to avoid redundancy I’m going to describe his appearance better there.) /End ID 1

ID 2: a digital drawing of TangoTek, a humanoid with fire for hair and a long, thin tail tipped in fire; like how a lion’s is tipped with fur. He’s standing idly (again, to show off his design) with his hands in his pockets. He’s got light tan skin with freckles on his nose and wrist. He’s got what look to be black scales on his ears - which are long and pointed - cheeks and nose that have glowing orange cracks in them like burning wood. He’s wearing a red handkerchief over his nose and mouth and has red-tinted goggled pushed up on his forehead. He’s wearing an off-white sweater, a worn leather jacket with red accents, grey cargo pants and black boots. He also has a pale gold and brown messenger bag slung over his left (the viewer’s right) shoulder and back behind his arm. He’s also got two scuffed, worn pins on his jacket; a small, round yellow one and a tiny polyamory flag. He’s also covered in ash - even more so than Jimmy - to the point where his boots, sweater, and handkerchief are stained with it, and are almost more grey than their original colors.

ID 3: simple digital sketches of the above characters. From left to right they are: Jimmy laying down with his head bowed, and Tango standing on his tiptoes to lean against Jimmy’s head. Both their eyes are closed and their foreheads are pressed together. The next is of Tango with his goggles on and looking confused at the map book, which is folded in half in his hands. Jimmy is leaning over his shoulder to look at the map as well. Two question marks float by Tango’s head. The last is of Jimmy standing upright, one of his talons held up near his chest. In his talons he’s holding Tango who seems surprised and is kind of doing that thing that cats do when you pick them up under the arms. This sketch is captioned with the word “hold”. There’s also a small bit of wing from a drawing that’s been cropped out in the corner. /End ID 3

/End IDs]

Ok rambling time!

So it’s set in a that was similar to the modern day, but after in a post-apocalyptic world (recent enough that they both would’ve known the world before). Not a zombie apocalypse or anything, though. There may be Foes but probably not.

I’m not exactly sure what the apocalypse that happened actually is yet, but it’s left the world an ash-covered wasteland with few ruins and even fewer survivors (survivors being organisms in general, not just humans). I want the landscape to be kind of surreal and bizarre, but I haven’t decided if that’s because of the apocalypse or not. Maybe it was just Like That lol.

Anyway, one thing you may want to know more about, is why the hell is Jimmy a giant bird? And the answer is: I like giant birds. In all seriousness though, he’s cursed! Don’t know why. He was a normal ass dude. Now he’s a bird.

Tango might also be cursed? Depends on how edgy I end up wanting this to be lol. He might be an undead wraith or something who knows.

[wisteria-lodge]

I make a distinction, when I do sortings, between a Lion with say, Badger morality, and a Lion with a Badger Model. And with Lions especially, the distinction is that the Badger exists overtop, it isn't actually what the Lion internal compass is pointing too (and so you end up with a conflicted Lion.)

(and a Lion who believes in Truth defines Truth and *feels* Truth differently than a Bird does... so I do think that's the one kind of morality I don't see Lions having. Unless they're Burnt of course. Burnt Lions model Bird a *lot.*)

To take an example from the last movie I saw - the Director in Nimona is a Lion with a very Badger flavored morality. We see her talk using very Badger language, value Badger things like tradition... but when we get her villain monolog it becomes very clear it's not about the community at all. It's about this deeply felt, "crack in the wall" anxiety that she's been unable to examine. And that's why she's totally okay with being a loner, why she doesn't feel the need to dehumanize people like Ballister, or the innocents she tries to kill, and why she sticks to her guns even when her community turns against her. She IS a Lion... who just believes similar things to a Badger a lot of the time.

This got me thinking so i wrote myself some notes.

i wonder sometimes about ideal primaries. if your morals are about your people would you seem like a snake? community -- a badger? Does a Lion who believes in Truth lool like a Bird, or a bird whose truth is Honesty vice versa?

What is it that I'm really wondering? Maybe "What's the difference between a model and the focus of your morals?"

Eg what does a Lionpri with a Bird model look like (or vice versa)? Is it different from a Lion whose morals are in the shape of a Bird system? Is it the same thing? Is a Lion who wants to have the best most proper system still even a Lion? Because they do it out of internal need/feeling? How is a Lionpri with Snake or Badgerpri morals different from a Lionpri with Snake or Badgerpri *models*?

[darkersolstice]

One of the lenses I'm considering analyzing the Wind Breaker boys through is the SortingHatChats primary/secondary house system. While the system originated with JKR and Harry Potter houses, the system creators loudly refuted the transphobe and expanded on her slapdash system, to make something that really helps dig into the meat of What Makes A Character Tick. They now use Lion, Snake, Badger and Bird for their archetypes rather than the house names, and particularly in the area of "what makes a snake", really unfolded it beyond what the books showed.

Of course, I'm hesitating for obvious reasons. Is it possible to take that far enough from her work to be ideologically pure? No, nothing's ideologically pure.

But something I've been struggling to say about what happened in the Noroshi arc is "Umemiya wouldn't ask for help because he's a Snake Primary (for all that he models Badger)/Badger Secondary, and his circle of 'his people' didn't include Shishitoren, Roppo Ichiza and Gravel, so he didn't even consider them as factors. Sakura, meanwhile, is a Lion Primary/Lion Secondary, and so was willing to Just Do The Thing, without asking permission or considering the ripples of the action."

I dunno, does anyone want to hear me ramble about the characters in this vein? I find it's really useful for discussing similarities and differences between characters.

[the-phoenix-heart]

Sorting Hat Chats - A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Heeeey I'm back again. Hunger Games is one of my recent hyperfixations, so I'm doing a sorting of the latest book/film. I'll only be sorting Coriolanus Snow and Lucy-Gray Baird in this post. And Dr. Gaul oops.

An explanation of the system I am using can be found here. (Credit: @wisteria-lodge )

SPOILERS FOR A BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES BOOK AND FILM

LUCY-GRAY BAIRD is a thriving, healthy Snake secondary through and through. She loves performing, she loves playing coy, and she clearly relishes in getting one up on her enemies. This is a woman who turn her death sentence into a concert. Her plan to defeat Reaper, someone larger and deadlier than her, is to piss him off and give him the run around until he dies of exhaustion (or drinks from a poisoned puddle). To get one up on Mayfair when her name is called Lucy-Gray puts a snake in her dress to freak her out and subsequently humiliate her on live TV. No punches held back.

She's described by her actress as "a performer in a hunt," and she is. She always gives off the impression that she is always acting and always authentic in every moment. Snow certainly can never tell if she's lying or not and for all his faults he is smart.

CORIOLANUS SNOW meanwhile is a Bird secondary (I know, oh the irony) and the two secondaries slot in well together. In ABOSAS we see how he is always calculating in every interaction how he can leverage this for the most gain. He wears a carefully manufactured mask playing up whatever trait he has to to get what he wants from the person he is talking to. That's the Actor Bird in him, he can't just become someone like Lucy-Gray can. Which is why Snow works so well as a mentor for her. He can make all the plans he wants and give her every advantage to win, and she can immediately go along with it without skipping a beat.

We also see his Bird secondary on full display when he starts to come into power. He immediately starts making plans for the 11th Hunger Games when he comes back to the Capitol. His signature method for killing people is poison, and in sixty years that never changes. It's a risky plan that always works so why would he change it? And of course we know after he becomes president just how much effort he puts into controlling Katniss with more and more plans.

As for their primaries, well, that's why they constantly misunderstand each other. Coriolanus and Lucy-Gray look at each other and they both see a Snake primary, but those aren't their true sortings. Lucy-Gray is wearing a Snake primary model, and Coriolanus is wearing a Snake primary performance, not even a model.

Lucy-Gray loves the Covey, but at the end of the day when Mayor Lipp wants her dead Lucy-Gray doesn't need to think twice about running away. She knows they can take care of themselves, and she values her own freedom above anything else. It's apparent also in how she treats Billy-Taupe. She loved him once, but the moment he cheated on her she immediately cut him out of her life and doesn't seem to regret that decision. "Without trust you might as well be dead to me."

Lucy-Gray is a Lion primary, and like her secondary it's healthy. Her mantra is "Nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping." She's another example of the Jack Sparrow style of Lion primary, the Fae lion. Freedom is good and control is bad. It's also why when she leaves Snow she makes it a whole production where she sings him "The Hanging Tree" and runs around him as a way to fuck with him. She knows that Corio isn't the man she thought he was and she wants to show him she knows.

Lucy-Gray is the Yin to Katniss's Yang. Katniss is a famous Snake Lion, and Lucy-Gray is the inverse of that, a Lion Snake. That quote about Lucy-Gray being a performer in a hunt is followed by Katniss being "a hunter in a performance." The revolution in a small way begins with Lucy-Gray and is ended by Katniss. Lucy-Gray loves freedom before all else, and that means she is never going to fight the Capitol like Katniss would, "it's too early for [K]atniss," she says. But Katniss is that Snake primary who loves so deeply and devastatingly that of COURSE she would end up fighting the Capitol.

But I think Lucy-Gray likes Snake primaries. I think she likes how much the value freedom, but also the way they value their people. That's what she sees when she sees Snow, a man who will do anything to protect the people he loves over himself. But that's just a performance Snow puts on, because he knows that looks much more nobler than what he actually is.

Snow actually primary matches Lucy-Gray. When we see him he's a young lion. The impression I get from Snow is entitlement. He thinks because of the way he was born that he just inherently deserves to have what is owed to him. But after it's found out that he cheated to help Lucy-Gray win, he is stripped of what little he had and sent to be a peacekeeper. He doesn't know what he wants anymore, because he can't have what he truly wants, so he convinces himself what he wants is Lucy-Gray. Except, the moment he realizes he can absolutely still get that power he turns on her immediately.

His goals never change, in the end Snow does indeed land on top, as he achieves those goals. He becomes president, and then it becomes all about maintaining power and control. And that's the real crux of his Lion primary. Like Lucy-Gray he is a Fae Lion, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. Power and control are good, and he should have that over everyone else in the world. I also see his primary in his method of choice for killing people. He willingly poisons himself so no one catches on, that is some lion devotion to his cause of control.

But, despite him trying to appear completely composed at all times, you can see that very emotional Lion primary underneath it all. I mean, he's clearly obsessed with screwing over Katniss's life in particular because he sees both Lucy-Gray and Sejanus in her. Meanwhile everything he does that fucks with Peeta is to fuck with her, despite the fact that he was also part of that suicide threat. He doesn't like that emotional Lion I think. What he wants is to maintain control over everything, and the appear as though he has this carefully constructed worldview/ideology. He has these intelligent/convincing arguments on the power of hope and the purpose of the games. It can look very Bird to people, and I think it is. DR. GAUL is absolutely a Double Bird Mad Scientist, and I think Snow adopted a Bird primary model based off of hers.

So...

Lucy-Gray Baird - Lion primary, Snake model/Snake secondary

Coriolanus Snow - Lion primary, Bird model and Snake performance/Bird secondary

Dr. Gaul - Bird primary/Bird secondary

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: the bottom-most number, your primary karmic lesson and the root chakra

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

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the number we are focusing on today is based on the SUM OF YOUR PUBLIC ENERGY NUMBER, HIGHEST SELF NUMBER, AND YOUR DESTINY NUMBER - ex: as you see above, my number is 21 (9 + 10 + 2 -> 21). recall that numbers must be summed a second time if they total 23 (i.e. 2 + 3 -> 5) and above.

but what does this number mean?

this number represents our root chakra as well as our main karmic lesson. the root chakra is the first chakra we must unblock in order to work on the next chakra(s). when the root chakra is blocked people experience fear, anxiety, uncertainty, difficulty sleeping, constipation, fluctuations in weight, weakened immune system, fatigue, feeling unsafe in your environment, negativity, and/or doubt in your existence on earth. these are the first tasks you must face to move forward in this lifetime, thus they tend to be karmic issues leftover from past lives.

so let's talk about some examples:

8 - strength

rider-waite's strength card depicts a woman in white adorn in a flower belt and crown. she stares down at the noble lion while closing it's hungry mouth. the woman and her lion can be paralleled to the mythical characters persephone and cerberus. the card alludes to a perviously discussed card with flowers and an infinity symbol overhead - the magician. the two's reappearance illustrates worldly (the flowers) and spiritual (the infinite symbol over her head) abundance. she appreciates this abundance presently, as she does not face any given side of the card but rather faces the lion and corrects its gluttonous mouth. the lion appears ever happy to obey her maternal touch as it appears as docile as a domesticated animal - almost dog like. she models for the viewer that internal peace and self-confidence has the power to promote external peace in the world presently around her.

blocked 8s often have a lack of self confidence and may experience social anxiety. they may not trust themselves or their own body. oftentimes these people experience a moment in time where their body does not do what they wish it would. this can be something heredity, like a gene mutation that causes blood clotting or something along the lines of lupus - the point is that they tend to not trust their own bodies. they are thus less likely to trust themselves around others - fearing they might look weak and incapable. they often shut themselves in, embrace the feelings of being weak, and feel uncomfortable with being vulnerable around others.

enlightened 8s believe that they can be better and that they can overcome anything that keeps them down. they trust that they can handle anything that the world throws at them. they believe they can overcome any internal or external issues that arise - they face their fears without hiding from the speculation of others. they continue to proceed through each of life's various levels no matter how hard they may become. they aren't afraid to be vulnerable and seek help when needed.

the karmic lesson of 8s tends to originate in a lifetime in which they were overly prideful of their life. they may have been reckless and thought themselves invulnerable to the world around them. and more importantly, they could have thought they were invulnerable to the people around them - they could have been a cold individual who didn't mind hurting those who trusted them entirely and now they are set in this lifetime to be the person who must be vulnerable with others.

17 - the star

click here for the card description of the star found in a prior wyrd web post.

blocked 17s feel disconnected from the divine and often lack faith in the world around them. they suffer from a lack of hope which often causes them weakened immune systems or other health (mental or physical) issues. their mindset tends to control their life for the worst. they often don't trust others enough to be in their personal, intimate environment. they feel uncertain when creating because their inspiration tends to waver. it is their pessimism towards the world around them that keeps them down.

enlightened 17s, though they may feel like they do not belong, do have hope that they will find their people and they will persevere. they raise the spirits of those around them and inspire them with their confidence. they let creativity overtake them whenever it arises, not letting slumps bog them down or discourage them. they are often dealt a poor hand when it comes to health, but they don't let that stop them from believing they will get better

17s karmic lesson often comes from being someone in a pastlife who believed in nothing and trusted no one. they may have harmed others or discouraged them from believing in change and thus are "meant" to feel the pain they dealt others in this lifetime. they could have also (or alternatively) have been someone who was overly boastful about their talents and gifts and thus are meant to experience frequent blocks in this lifetime.

21 - the world

the depiction of the world, in rider-waite smith's deck, depicts a nude woman floating in the heavens surrounded by a laurel wreath - a greek symbol of victory. many cards are alluded to in this single one. her legs are in the akimbo position of the hanged man - showing that at the end of a journey we are, yet again, found at a crossroads as to what comes next. in the corners are the icons of the fixed signs of astrology that can be found in the wheel of fortune card. and the double-ended candles of the magician - showing the gained spiritual wisdom she has accrued. she glances over her shoulder showing her acknowledgement of this pervious journey but her hips angle her body to carry her forward to the future.

blocked 21s fear the ending of things and the future - they often have control issues. they aren't often willing to accept that the ending has come and gone. they experience a great deal of negativity when they lack-closure in a situation or have delayed gratification. they are prone to slipping into depressive states as they are the least willing to let go of how things once were.

enlightened 21s affirm themselves and provide themselves with their own closure without fear of what could be or could have been. they are ready for adventure and eager to seek it out. they humbly accept the reward(s) their pervious experiences provided them with. they celebrate their own wins - validating their own experiences and existence without needing to receive such from others.

the karmic lesson of 21s tends to be from a pastlife in which they were miserly and got in their own way. they were obsessed with keeping what they had and being celebrated/praised by others. they are now forced in this lifetime to often succeed in one facet of life and get pushed into the next phase without assurance from the world around them. they have to award themselves. they have to justify what they are doing and provide closure solely to themselves without external validation from others.

that's all for today. the next number we will be looking at is number in the center of the matrix.

have ideas for new content? please use my “suggest a post topic” button!

return to nox's guide to metaphysics

return to the masterlist of the web of wyrd

© a-d-nox 2023 all rights reserved

[wisteria-lodge]

To clarify, I included other peoples’ perspectives because it felt more accurate than just sending you my thoughts about me.

Okay, that's fair. And also a very Bird secondary (or Bird secondary model, in your case) thing to so. Giving me more "objective" data.

I often think of myself as cold, awkward, and a mess but I’ve been informed repeatedly that’s not true.

I will agree that it doesn't seem true, going from the anecdotes you've shared about your life. I'm going to say that this particular string of adjectives points more to a Burnt secondary - you don't feel immoral, stressed, or lost (more the sign of a burnt primary.) All of is is language about how you doubt your ability to problem-solve and exist in the world.

This could be because I still feel corroded by the childhood trauma, like there’s something tainted in me. That’s why I’m so bad at self-care. I care for people that I value and cherish, but I’m not one of them (I’m working on it.)  

Good. I mean, Loyalist who kicks themself out of the group is a whole specific thing in this system. Very Tony Stark (Snake Lion.) I am still tentatively liking Badger secondary for you. I'm wondering if you might like my Sally (Nightmare Before Christmas) sorting. She's got a Badger secondary that's been sort of 'poisoned' by her particular situation, she's built a 'safer' Bird secondary to live in.

It's interesting that you read me as prioritizing groups because I don’t really think of relationships that way. I prefer seeing friends 1-1 or in small groups where everyone’s individually friends with each other (as seen in my perfect day). But even then, I view the friendships as separate, overlapping connections, not as a group I’m loyal to. I’ve had friend groups fall apart, but it was fine because I stayed friends with the couple people I was close to. It’s nice hanging out with a group in this new city, but I’m more focused on developing individual friendships with a handful of people. 

Oh that's very, very interesting. Because now you're sounding a lot more Snake, and I'm wondering if that's it - you're a very expansive Snake. I mean I just brought up Tony Stark, and that's his entire deal.

When I’m stuck about a decision and talking to friends, I go separately to different people. But I usually know what I want. I didn’t question the opportunity I moved for, for example. Years ago, I did something similar, moving across the country where I didn’t know anyone. Back then, I felt trapped and had the chance to work on a political cause I cared a lot about. It was a way to make a difference and do what felt right, but it also made me feel alive. 

And then you will just drop in something that feels very classic Lion: Political cause, going at it alone, 'felt right' 'I know what I want.'

I was vague about my people for length, but in the interest of details: I care deeply about many friends—and love my cat more than almost anything—but my most important people are my little sibling, a college friend, and 2 friends from my old city (3 out of the 4 are badger secondaries, the other is a bird.) I used to think my college friend was the closest one could get to the platonic ideal of a person, but thankfully I’ve grown out of putting people on pedestals.

Oh that's very, very young Snake.

I will say it sounds like you have an unusually large inner circle for a Snake... but the way you think about them, and feel about them - yeah it's Snake, not Badger. And you know, if a Snake primary's People are safe and doing well... they will often model one of the other primaries over the top. This definitely sounds like it could be the case with you and Lion.

I wasn’t doing it deliberately, but I did know I acted differently around my lion secondary ex! Their fun energy was one of the reasons I liked them. And I wouldn’t care if a friend applied for that workshop scholarship, even if wasn’t strictly speaking necessary.

Yeah, you're not a Badger primary. That mirroring still sounds pretty Badger secondary though.

I didn’t because applying would’ve said I needed it and that’s misrepresenting myself (No clue why that matters so much.) But morality can differ; everyone weighs choices against their own conscience.

Hmmm. Identity angst like "misrepresenting myself" does often go with Lion primaries. Lying isn't an issue (if you view it as purely a problem-solving thing, which it sounds like you do.) But presenting *yourself* falsely is annoying to an Internal primary, because your inner self is the truest 'true' there is.

Frankly, I’m jealous of my snake primary friend because she’s not as rigid or worried about these things. 

And now I'm thinking you might be a Snake primary yourself! It's absolutely a thing to be jealous of people who share your sorting, but generally only if you aren't able to express that sorting yourself. Like if you're Burnt, for instance. But... you don't really seem Burnt? You talk about friends, you talk about going to them with problems, you seem to have a large, intact circle, which I wouldn't expect from a Burnt Snake....

Except... maybe you're almost like, stealth Burnt. You do say things like "People can hurt you, or they can leave, or change. Or you could leave them, or hurt them, or make a bad decision on who to trust. It just seems so precarious and vulnerable" which is pure Burnt Snake. You also talk about running solo across the country to follow Idealistic causes, in a way that you don't consider to be 100% healthy ("I know it’s not healthy to be consumed by a Purpose but I want to be.") And I have SEEN Burnt Snakes do this. People aren't safe, so model Lion and lock onto a Cause. (Lions do the inverse: Causes aren't safe, so lock onto a Person.)

I’d never considered being a badger primary before. Community is important, it’s good to help people, I’d help a stranger or an acquaintance if I easily could— but I wouldn’t feel guilty saying no. When I no longer loved my ex, I stopped feeling like I had to help her. I was also younger then. These days, I have fairly good boundaries with people. Nonexistent boundaries at my old job, but that was also tied up in the political cause. I’m still recovering from the burnout; friends said for years that I should leave but I ignored them until I couldn’t. I’m not involved in the cause anymore, but now I can prioritize my art. Maybe I’ll go back eventually, but I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would. 

Yeah, okay. I'm kinda liking Burnt Snake with a Lion model for you. (And your Snake Primary was at one point much more Burnt than it is now.) The Lion, the focus on political causes, it's a coping mechanism that turned unhealthy (which, sure, could point to a Badger on another person, but in that case I would expect more of a focus on either more on the organization, or the people they were helping. "Work until they get pissed about it" isn't really a Badger motto, it's a Lion motto.)

And not to get all 'tell me about your mother' - the inability to trust your family growing up, and the pressure to perform what sounds like a Badger secondary, it is going to make it harder to be vulnerable around the people you love, which is the Snake primary dream.

For my perfect day, I picked a prize because they’re more strategically useful: usually gives more money, can be included in bios, CVs, etc. Bread baking’s also more of an experiment for me than community. I love tweaking and inventing recipes. (My dad taught me how to bake; he can be a bit of a mad scientist with different types of flour.)

Aww yeah, and you're dad's a Bird secondary too. I see it. I enjoy the Bird secondary reasoning behind what sounds like a very cottage-core day.

Bread can also be unpredictable so it’s a little different every time! Cake, on the other hand, is challenging because all the planning is done in advance. It’s harder for me to make small adjustments (or be impulsive) on the fly. 

Little bit of Improvisation secondary energy getting in there? Interesting.

External validation/recognition is nice, but I don’t find it especially motivating. If I feel that I didn’t do a good job, other people liking it doesn’t really sway me.

Evidence of an internal primary (Lion or Snake.)

I’m more motivated by an internal drive, which, uh, hasn’t always worked out well. I did two theses as an undergrad: one for honors for one major, and another for my second major. Literally everyone in my life said I shouldn’t do the honors thesis, but I wanted to, so I did. That was one of the three big burnouts of my life, an ex had to give me an intervention—and if I went back in time, I’d do it again (but try to sleep/eat more).  I also don’t particularly yearn to trust everyone. I’m very private so that sounds uncomfortable. But I do want to be more vulnerable with people I love. I’m open to a point; I can keep even my very favorite people at an emotional arm’s length or isolate from them. Sometimes I think of love as deep water with seemingly no end. I’m working on being more vulnerable in therapy because it’s necessary for the intimacy I both crave and fear. 

Badger and Snake are such an interesting pair, because they are SO similar... but they're also flipped. Badger is External: they want their world to be safe, and to then to be a part of that world. Snake is Internal - they want to feel safe, they almost want to bring their chosen People into them, and make themselves a world that way.

Deep down, I’m still scared of the risk of fully trusting people. It feels like taking off armor and handing them a sharp knife. But that’s the work, to quote my therapist. (Romantic love is still entirely terrifying. I’ve only been in relationships that I knew would probably be temporary. Once, I realized I was falling in love with a close friend and completely panicked because there’s no way that could be casual.)  

This is the internal tragedy of the "fun" Snake character in a lot of media - flitting around, never settling down. Klaus Hargreeves gets into the pain of this, a bit.

Turning to my childhood, yes, I handled most of my problems and organized holidays, but I wasn’t an easy kid. (She loves me because I’m her child but has never really liked me. She tries at least.)

Just that matter-of-fact way you say that is so devastating. It sounds like you've processed it, at least.

I fought with my mom constantly. I’d find ways around my parents’ rules so I wasn’t technically breaking them—or figure out how to break them without getting caught. Concerning the party, I totally could’ve faked being social, that’s why my mom was frustrated. I just was bored and didn’t want to. 

Fighting with parents is just a human thing, but it's more common for someone with Lion in their sorting, either Primary or Secondary. Makes me think you built your fiery Lion primary coping mechanism pretty young, probably as a way to handle your family.

Is that a snake mask? I’m confused about the difference between badger and snake secondary shifting.  I bounce off energy/shift unconsciously because if I try it deliberately, I usually second guess myself, feel like I’m bad at it, then also feel guilty because it feels like the wrong way to do things. I worry I come across as fake, but I’m not. Even when it feels like I lose myself, reacting without thought, I’m still me. 

Okay, wow. If I had this bit all on it's own, I would 100% say that this is a description of Snake secondary shifting, and not Badger secondary mirroring. And I mean, we *know* that you were low-key required to do a Badger secondary thing by your family growing up. Does that mean the Badger is *also* a model, and underneath that is Snake? I mean if that's the case, no wonder you're confused about the difference.

The major difference between the two strategies is that Snakes are more conscious/deliberate about their switching. They will also switch multiple times during an interactions (Badgers usually don't, or at least they don't like to.) Snakes often have a 'face' that they wear for a specific person. Also, sadly, they are more likely to feel guilty about this way of doing things... especially if there's any Badger in their sorting or their environment. @air-in-words has written beautifully about the self-hating tendencies of Badger Snakes specifically.

These were the bits that really made me think Courtier Badger for you:

I can’t do it deliberately though, I overthink. It just…happens. Like I’m bad at flirting if I try but I’ve accidentally hit on people before. There’s been multiple times where I’ve had dinner with a friend and then realized it accidentally turned into a date. I do reflexively adjust to people’s energy around me. It isn’t conscious, but sometimes I shift too much and lose myself in it. I wasn’t doing it deliberately, but I did know I acted differently around my lion secondary ex!

Which is very, very Badger! But now I think I should have focused a little more on that "I overthink." Because that's Burnt secondary language, and specifically Burnt Snake language. You TRY to do it deliberately... but overthink.

Now that I think about it, deliberately shifting is easier around new people because I’m less worried. During that meeting, I was fully pretending I already knew the information. It was an external meeting so I didn’t know much about the person or company. I began by asking questions to learn more but also to stall while I was rapidly googling and putting pieces together with what I already knew. Thankfully this was on Zoom so I could get away with that. If it was in person, I probably still would’ve pretended but said something like “It’s been a bit, I’ll just double check if they updated their system.”

It was stressful but also exhilarating, reminding me of a game I played during a college seminar, where I would see how little of the reading I could do and still participate in class (most of the books were about like white men looking at trees, okay, it could only be so interesting.)

Oh that's EXTREMELY snake secondary. A Badger would not have fun doing that. And that's key, also. Using your secondary feels good, it feels powerful. It sounds like you've been living in your Prep-Work models kind of a lot recently. I'm not surprised they're a bit burnt out.

Describing this as a mask feels too distant from myself; it feels more like switching faces. However, I’ll also bounce off energy instinctively, without meaning to or a plan. 

... almost like you're improvising. This is definitely Snake language. I've definitely heard different Snakes use "mask" and "face." Badgers and Birds talk about their social shifting very differently.

I’m more comfortable being manipulative with language. I’ll make arguments that I know will appeal to the person, I’ll phrase things to match how they think. I’ll strategically leave things out.

Snake secondary.

I can be blunt, but usually only when I’m tired or around friends. 

Snake secondary going into Neutral.

I do over plan, but I also struggle with boring work or consistently working on a big project a little bit at a time. I thought badger secondaries valued diligence? I feel like I’m too restless. Could it be a model?

Again we've got some negative/self deprecating language attached to your prep-work secondaries. Badger secondaries get restless like anyone, but yes they do value diligence, and work for it's own sake. It takes a lot (too much probably) to get a Badger to cut corners, and that doesn't describe you.

The whole “learning how to be good at things, figuring out what situations need, and people liking me”— I do that because it works. It’s easily adaptable and a pleasant way to move through the world. But when I think about what I do for no gain but my own enjoyment, it’s like recreationally lying to Uber drivers. 

I've never heard a more Snake secondary thing in my life. Unless you count my Snake secondary mother, who likes to recreationally talk to MLM recruiters and pretend she's interested. Also that whole "I just do what works thing... you seem in a pretty good place with it right now, but that can be a huge sign of a Burnt secondary. When you're living in it, no type of problem solving is more fun or satisfying than any other. You just do whatever, until the thing gets done.

Anyways, I’m curious to see if this changes or reinforces any of your thoughts! Thank you for the time you’ve spent on my sorting and all your helpful writing on this system.  <3

You had a very interesting one. A lot of models. Here's what I think is going on with you in terms of the system:

You're a Double Snake, but growing up in an environment that wasn't especially conducive to a Double Snake. It didn't feel safe to trust people, and felt safer (and still satisfying) to trust causes instead. So you were a firey intense kid and you built a Lion primary model, and did that until it obviously wasn't working. You also have a snake secondary model, but are definitely conflicted about using it, and use it very sparingly if at all. You prefer to live in your Prepwork models (and you've got a lot of important Bird and Badger secondaries in their life, it is very common for Snakes to build models 'for' or at least inspired by the people around them.) The Badger seems... comfortable, and the Bird seems like a fun toy. However they both seem a little charred from overuse, at the present time.

I hope very much that you can find a way to relax back into both your Snake primary and your snake secondary a little more (without feeling guilty about it!) and not have to be putting in all this effort with the rest of your models all the time.

Thank you to R for such an excellent follow-up! If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

badger primary + badger secondary (slightly burnt-out bird secondary)

unBurning snake primary (lion model) + burnt snake secondary (badger model) (bird model)

 Hi, Wisteria! I’d love to get your perspective on my primary/secondary; it feels like I’ve been going in circles. This got so long omg, but hopefully it has everything you need. My guess would be that I’m a lion primary or snake primary (maybe burned?).

Interesting. Because Burned primaries... especially Burned internal primaries... often come across as an unhappy version of something else. Or else they think they're an *unsuccessful version* of something else. I'll keep an eye on that.

For secondary….not lion probably? I feel like I don’t really ~get~ lion secondaries, but they’re charmingly incomprehensible and have fun energy to bounce off of. This might be why I’ve dated multiple lion secondaries. An ex of mine once said that I was much more playful and sillier around them than with other people.

I'm wondering if you might be a Badger secondary. Courtier badgers can kind of unconsciously "bounce" off other people's energy like that, and the fact you didn't notice the change taking place, it had to be pointed out to you, makes me thinking that the shifting probably is unconscious.

I have a lot of Opinions about the proper/moral way to act in the world and they can be rigid (funny enough, lying isn’t on that list). I also tend to make most decisions into moral questions.

Oh that's some Bird primary energy right there. You're mentioning a list (even as a joke, even in passing) and you're talking about your Series of Opinions Which Answer Moral Questions, rather than "being passionate" or "being stubborn" or just listing me some of your positions... which would be the more Lion-flavored thing to do.

And not finding lying inherently morally objectionable - that's just a pretty standard utilitarian thing. I think that was John Stewart Mill's thing, it's only the purpose of the lie that's important.

Once I wanted to take a writing workshop that was kind of expensive. But I didn’t apply for one of the scholarships because I technically could afford the class, even though it was a stretch. Intellectually, I knew that it would’ve been fine but applying for the scholarship would’ve felt wrong.

Hm. The scholarship would have helped but it wasn't necessary... so you felt bad about taking away from someone who needed it more? That's sounding a bit like Badger primary need-basing to me. Badger? Badger-flavored Paragon Lion primary? I see what you're saying about Lion vs Bird though: intellectually knowing that something is probably fine, but not doing it because it just Feels Wrong is certainly Lion.

Things feeling “right” is so important to me. When I’m making a hard decision, I’ll make pro/con lists and talk it over with friends, but I’m always keeping an eye on my own gut feeling. It’s helpful when a friend suggests an option and my gut goes “NO”. Like, scratch that off the list! 

I mean, Birds *can* use their gut as decision-making factor. But because this anecdote is about problem solving strategies, it goes in the Secondary category. And this is pretty darn Badger secondary, using the group as such an important part of your problem solving strategy.

Normally I’d say something about wanting to try and make the world better but all I want to do right now is sit quietly and make art. That’s the burn out though.

That's a pretty idealist primary answer. But also... one you don't feel 100% great about, going by that caveat about "burn out." Starting to see why you think you might be specifically a Burnt Lion.

I’m usually fairly intense; a coworker once compared me to that army charging down the hill in the Narnia movie. 

That could honestly be any secondary, but what has me interested is that this is the second time you've used the words of someone outside of you (your ex, your coworker) to define yourself. Which is more of an external primary thing (Bird or Badger.)

(I framed it above as “making the world better” and that is something I really care about, but honestly, part of it is that I like winning.)

I mean, no one likes losing. And "making the world better"... like what person wouldn't say that? They'd all just have different ideas of what that meant.

Describing a fantasy feels overwhelming, my gut instinct is to say “feeling free” but that’s not concrete.

(correct :)

I guess my perfect day would be waking up early, getting lost in an art project for hours while bread bakes, going for a walk by the ocean, meeting up with friends for brunch, wandering around with them, getting the news that I won a prize for my art, having dinner with some other friends, and then going home to call a long-distance friend, read a book, and fall asleep cuddling my cat. 

Three separate outings with friends in one day! :D So what I'm getting from this is that community is really, REALLY important to you. Your perfect day involves meeting two groups of friends, catching up with a long distance friend (presumably someone who's harder to keep in touch with, so chatting with them is itself a bit of a fantasy in itself.) And then you win a prize, ie - you are recognized by the community for your art. Also fresh bread specifically is such a shareable baked good... and none of this is problem solving. I'm wondering if you might be a Badger primary, just going by how much community has been weighted in this ask so far.

One of my friends suggested that I might be a snake primary

And to keep count, this is the third time you are defining yourself with the words of someone in one of your communities.

because I value loyalty and friendship so highly. Most of my happiest moments, when I felt the safest, were being around close friends.

You use a lot of collective nouns, which is a trick I use to divide Snakes from Badgers (because of course, they're both Loyalists.) You've used the word "friends" five times. With Snakes I hear a lot more "my partner" "my sister" "my best friend."

I definitely rank people in my life, and I don’t feel bad about prioritizing my favorites over others.

Badgers do prioritize the people they like slightly more. Badgers are *people,* and people have preferences. But they are also very aware of who has the most *need.* Like that writing workshop scholarship: you didn't need it the most, and so you felt bad about taking it. I bet you would have felt equally bad if one of your friends who also didn't exactly need it applied.

However, I’m really, really bad at basic self-care (we’re talking “eating regular meals” and “getting enough sleep.”)

I mean, this can be evidence of all sorts of things I am not qualified to diagnose over the internet... but having trouble with self-care is something that Badgers historically struggle with. a lot.

(and something that Snakes, even Burned Snakes, don't really have a problem with.)

Also, I recently moved away from most of my friends for an incredible opportunity. I miss them, but I never seriously considered not going. 

I'm going to take a guess that this new opportunity involves a group of some kind. I mean, clearly you have a lot of different groups of friends, which is fantastic.

A different friend, who is a snake primary, pointed out that I always need some cause or project. I do tend to get caught up in things and vanish for a couple months but always reappear eventually.

That's interesting. Because so far, when you've talked about a cause or project, the the recognition/other people involved seems kind of key. You like "winning": It's "I won a prize for my art" not "I sold a piece." And that's amazing, that's a great way to keep up energy and motivation. It just means you've probably got an External primary. (Bird or Badger.)

I know it’s not healthy to be consumed by a Purpose but I want to be.

Going from the tone of this ask, you seem a very upbeat, lively, dynamic person. Except when you're talking about these Idealist causes. Then it goes from "my happiest moments, when I felt the safest, were being around close friends" to "I know I'll burn out" and "it's not healthy." Where is all that coming from?

It feels stabilizing, invigorating—and safer than centering people. I even get stressed about how much I love my cat. People can hurt you, or they can leave, or change. Or you could leave them, or hurt them, or make a bad decision on who to trust. It just seems so precarious and vulnerable. I’ve had a hard time my entire life opening up to people -

I'm just going to point out, that I've written a bunch of these, and objectively... it sure seems like you've opened up to a LOT of people during your life. Now, maybe that's not as many people as you would ideally like, but that's also kinda a Badger primary thing. In a perfect world, a Badger primary would like to be able trust everyone. But when doing that doesn't feel safe... then the Badger primary burns a little. And, Burned Loyalists have a way of looking like stressed-out Idealists. (the same way that Burned Idealists will look like stressed-out Loyalists.)

I'm honestly not getting much Burnt Badger energy from you though. Maybe like, a light toasting. On your bad days.

- or letting myself need them.

There we go. I mean partially, yes having trouble needing other people is a human thing. But Badgers primaries are so, so much happier being needed and useful themselves than the other way around. (It's why they tend to have boundary issues.)

I’ve cut friends out before and didn’t feel bad about it because they hurt people and didn’t take responsibility for their actions—

Sounds like they hurt the group? Which is a very Badger primary way of thinking about it, and a good example of Badger primary opt-out loyalty, versus Snape primary opt-in loyalty. A Badger will say 'I will care about you until you do xyz' while a Snake will say 'I won't care about you until you do xyz.'

but none of them were in my inner circle. On the other hand, I had a hard time setting up boundaries with an ex because I loved her and she needed help.

Boundary issues. Need-basing. (Badger)

(I used to wonder if she was a good person who sometimes did selfish things or a selfish person who was capable of great kindness. Eventually I decided the question was reductive and didn’t matter.)

I think you're right about that. I suspect we are all both, at different times.

My family is….complicated. I was the kid who had to be okay.

Ooof, I hear that.

Like, I started to organize the holiday cooking/baking schedules when I was a teenager. When I was a child, I went through some trauma that I kept hidden from everyone, including my parents, because, like, why would I tell an adult? What could they do? I was a mess, but learned how to seem like I was fine. I read my parents’ child psychology books so I could tell when they were using things from them on me. 

Yeah, this is brutal. It'd be brutal for anyone, but especially brutal for a Double Badger, which I suspect you are. You're describing a situation where, very young, your community just was not safe. It couldn't help you, or protect you, it was even trying to "trick" you (with child psychology methods.) And in that situation, what do you do? Well, you're a child so you go Invisible Badger, where your identity just /is/ whatever the group needs. And apparently... your family needed an easy kid who planned holiday get togethers.

My dad’s a double bird.

Maybe *that's* where some of your Birdy language is coming from.

My mom’s either a badger secondary or has a badger secondary model (maybe actor bird?). She has a very obvious Socializing Mode and it used to frustrate her that I didn’t follow suit. She once told me before a party “you’re charming when you want to be, so please want to” (the year before, I had brought my history textbook to this party so I could look studious and get out of talking to people). 

That is both very relatable, and has a number of potential causes. (I have a very hard time at a lot of holiday parties, I find them very overstimulating, and will absolutely find ways/excuses to tuck myself away for a little bit.)

Your mom strikes me as more an Actor Bird than a Courtier Badger. She just has this 'Social Mode' setting which she can just turn on, even if (presumably) she's not feeling it that day. And she thinks that you do too... but I think you might be wired differently. And that's the Courtier Badger thing: in the moment, you have to authentically /become/ the thing, or it doesn't work.

For years, I thought I was a bird secondary. I love systems, I love knowing things, I love having something in my back pocket. I even used to have a system to determine which color of heart emoji to text (it was based on the closeness of the friend and the level of affection expressed).

That's adorable. And honestly, very useful-sounding.

I find roles comforting. I used to do costuming for theater and I still pick out my own outfits like I’m dressing a character, paying attention to what mood/vibe it communicates.

All of that sounds extremely Bird secondary. I will say though... it sounds like you had to build a model to survive your childhood, you had to "learn how to seem like I was fine." Bird is the most common model to build (especially if your dad is right there as a model.)

The issue is I like roles until they feel restricting or boring or I’m annoyed and feel like causing problems on purpose. As a kid, I was fairly mischievous. I convinced this kid in my class that I had a treehouse in my backyard where two Dalmatians lived, just for the fun of it. 

That feeling of getting "stuck" in a role is absolutely something Actor Birds struggle with. This, and the example near the beginning about getting more Liony with your Lion friends, makes me think that what you really like is having the opportunity to bounce off other people's energy. I get that. It's what I'm doing right now.

Sometimes I find my plans and elaborate systems claustrophobic. I automatically reach for them when I’m feeling anxious, but do they actually help?

Sounds like your Bird model functions as coping mechanism. I mean it's also a toy that you like to play with, yes, with your costumes and your systems. But it doesn't sound like it's necessarily something that you want to live in.

But I don’t know how else to tackle problems.

I mean, I'm hearing that you like to reach out to your friends, and then have quiet periods where you just buckle up and do your own thing.

(I think that your Bird model is just a little bit... burnt out. You've been using it so much that it feels like a chore, and that's where a lot of this burnt secondary language is coming from.)

Still, planning can absolutely trip me up. Some of my most successful moments came from just reacting.

Courtier Badger (or Snake. And I guess a very social snake /is/ possible. But Snake secondaries, and especially Badger Snakes, have a way of being either a little more deliberate (or a little more *guilty*) when it comes their face-changing.)

I can’t do it deliberately though, I overthink. It just…happens. Like I’m bad at flirting if I try but I’ve accidentally hit on people before. There’s been multiple times where I’ve had dinner with a friend and then realized it accidentally turned into a date.

Yep. Relatable. Badger secondaries (and not just me) often talk about getting into a "flow" state where you're completely in tune with the other person, reflecting them or bouncing off them. Sometimes you're not even sure how you got to a certain place, and have to come back down.

Sometimes I’ll do things instinctively and then have to backtrack to explain my reasoning to others (when explaining how to filter information in a database, “vibes” is apparently an insufficient answer).

I feel the same way about editing. I *love* editing, and I am aware that at this point I edit based on "vibes." Like yes, I'm sure I could think about it and logically explain my choices, but that's not what the process in my head looks like.

If there’s nothing I can bounce off of or if I don’t know how to read a situation, I freeze up. 

This is why Badger is a Prep-Work secondary, even though Badger secondaries are not generally comforted by very elaborate plans the way that Birds are. You get better the more you know about a situation and the people who are involved with that situation.

I don’t think that I’m a badger secondary.

Interesting. :) Let's hear the reasoning.

I do work a lot, but it’s not in a consistent, methodical way. My phone lock screen used to say “Work until they get pissed about it.” Lately though, I’ve been wondering if this burn-out inducing work ethic actually leads to success. I’ve achieved things through sheer effort but

I'm wondering how much of this "methodical" work ethic is you over-using your Bird secondary a little bit. Too many charts, too much planning. I'm wondering if maybe your dad was like that... and maybe it worked for him, but it sounds like a chore for you.

it feels like I’ve gotten where I am more by learning how to be good at things, figuring out what situations need, and people liking me. 

That is a straightforward description of a Badger secondary. ESPECIALLY the 'figuring out what a situation needs' and 'people liking me.'

I do reflexively adjust to people’s energy around me. It isn’t conscious, but sometimes I shift too much and lose myself in it.

SO. BADGER. When I shift too much, I can have almost a slight hangover feeling afterwards.

Like, I’m so focused on the moment that I’m not thinking about a longer term strategy. 

Badger. (But you are prepping. Because you're learning.)

Shifting does feels like I’m fooling people a little. Improving my way through a meeting at work instead of being prepared ahead of time feels like I’m getting away with something or cheating.

Nope. That's the Bird secondary in your head talking.

Still, it comes in handy. I once was in a meeting about something I vaguely knew how to do, but it turned out that it was actually about this very technical aspect that I didn’t have experience in. So, as I was talking around the issue, I was googling and speed reading. 

See, this where I think Badgers actually do shine. Because yeah, you didn't know the specific topic. But you knew the other people there, you knew the company, you knew what was needed, and so I bet you were value added, even just keeping the energy up.

I really want to be this super organized, steady person but I’m just not. I’m mercurial, easily bored, and so restless.

It sounds like what works best for you is friends, and play, and that's something that can kind of go missing from your life. But you like you love your job, you're good at your job. And I think you need to give yourself (and your Bird secondary model) a break.

But I think I do need a routine? My old job was intense and I was constantly on call. Now I’m in a new job that is more predictable and has very flexible hours. I can go grocery shopping any day of the week and it’s overwhelming. I don’t know how to be structured without feeling stifled. 

Going from a job where you are constantly on call to one with flexible hours is just going to be an adjustment, no matter what. You've also just recently moved, and are presumably building up your community in this new place. I think you're going to be just fine. The fact that the job is predictable will help, the fact that you're working with other people will help.

Thank you for your time! Hope you have a good day!

You are very, very welcome. <3

Thank you to R for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.

[topaz-witch-tea]

okok listen

baiheng shows yanqing how to braid and with his newly acquired skill he braids EVERYTHING. jys hair, yingxings hair, dan fengs hair, even mimis mane. and they all dont have the heart to take them out but they know they have to.

also i know that in the future he wants to learn diffrent braiding styles and he's determind to master them all. also he has his styling models w/ him (jy, yinxing, dan feng)

(sorry for any mistakes, eng isnt my first language)

Ahhhhh! This is adorable!!! Thank you so much for sending me an ask. Please feel free to send more.

There were no mistakes, don't worry! English actually isn't my first language either, it's my primary language now but I learned it later than most kids around me.

Yanqing sees Baiheng braid hers and Jingliu's hair and thinks it looks so cool. Since he has long hair, she asks her to braid his so he can look like his aunties. Baiheng teaches him with ribbons first and then he starts with his aunts hair. He starts doing it to Dan Feng's hair since he has long, straight hair and can sit on the ground for long periods of time. He then moves on to Jing Yuan's hair when he takes a nap, always making sure to not braid in the little finches. The lasts person he practiced on is Yingxing since he spends most of his time either in the forge at work or his own personal forge at home. Mimi's hair is the hardest since they're short and wispy and his little fingers are not as nimble. He does manage to do little braids all over its mane thought.

None of them take them out. Partially because they don't have the heart to and because Yanqing likes to see how his work withstands day to day life. Dan Feng keeps his hair braided when he goes to meeting with the Preceptors, earning himself glares and rumors over his doting/spoiling behavior. Baiheng absolutely adores it and buys him ribbons and hair ties and try out. Jing Yuan keeps it since he thinks it's cute (the man keeps birds in his hair, no one will care about the braids). Jingliu will actually request a tight, single braid so that she can train in it. Yingxing's students will actually tease him about the little braids at the end of his hair since Yanqing is so short and cannot reach higher when Yingxing is working in his office.

Once he masters the standard braid, he starts moving on to different styles. He seeings the noble girls and their attendants have different types of braid styles and accessories in their hair and thinks they're really cool. For Yanqing, he sees braids in the same way he sees swords. He admires the intricacy and skill it takes to do certain styles, and in the same sense of possessing swords, he seeks to possess the skill of braiding. Tingyun is really supportive of this, showing him pictures of different cultures from other planets and how they braid their hair and style them.

*******

Baiheng had her hair in a thick long braid today, tied at the end with a bright, red ribbon. Her fellow companions were sporting similar hairstyles. Yingxing’s white hair was tied in a messy fishtail braid similar to Jing Yuan’s, whose layered hair caused little bits to poke out everywhere. JIngliu’s hair was in tiny braids scattered with small, thin rubber bands holding them together. Dan Feng, who in all his refined manner as High Elder, had his hair in twin tail braids with a teal ribbon braided through them. If anyone had seen the High Cloud Quintet in this state, the gossip rags would have a frield day.

The perpetrator of this fashion trend had turned his sights on a new victim- Mimi, the white lion of the Seat of Divine Foresight. Yanqing sat on the ground, his face in tense concentration, as he braided little parts of Mimi’s mane and secured them with little flower clips. Mimi proved to be an excellent client as she sat quite still. Satisfied with his handiwork, Yanqing stood up and yelled, "TADA!!! Now we all match!" Mimi, the once ferocious beast who fought off assassins, had little braids poking out all arounds its head and adorned brightly-colored flower clips.

"Mrrow" Mimi called out.

Yanqing turned around, his eyes beaming. "Do you like it Mimi? I'll do a new style tomorrow. Maybe with ribbons this time!"

Yanqing turned arounds. "I'll do ribbons in everyone's hairs tomorrow!"

It seems the gossip rags will be getting a story after all. Most of them had meetings tomorrow and ribbons weren't exactly professional wear, but what were they going to do? Take out Yanqing's handwork? That's ridiculous.

I hope you like this one!

[tosahobi-if]

hii!!! i was wondering if you’ve ever heard of sortinghatchats- they sort characters into a primary (your motivations and WHY you do things) and secondary houses (your methods and HOW you do things) amongst a lot of other fascinating terminology!

example: Badger Primary, Snake Secondary etc

(also they replaced the original terminology to further distance themself from She Who Must Not Be Named)

links if interested: the quiz- https://ejadelomax.itch.io/sortinghatchats

an explanation from one of the members- https://wisteria-lodge.tumblr.com/post/646868516725768192/wisterias-great-big-sorting-hat-chats-explanation

i hope you find this interesting and i’m sorry for wasting your time!!

this was really interesting, don't apologize! i've never heard of this, but i went ahead and had a fun time taking it for all the characters! (plus, it's not supporting you-know-who so that's a bonus^^)

jinwol is a badger primary (LOYALIST - FELT - EXTERNAL) and a snake secondary (IMPROVISATIONAL - CONDITIONAL - FLUID) modeling lion.

yul is a snake primary (LOYALIST - BUILT - INTERNAL) and a bird secondary (FOUNDATIONAL - CONDITIONAL - SOLID)

iseul is a lion primary (IDEALIST - FELT - INTERNAL) and a snake secondary (IMPROVISATIONAL - CONDITIONAL - FLUID) modeling badger.

xst is a snake primary (LOYALIST - BUILT - INTERNAL) and a burned snake secondary (IMPROVISATIONAL - CONDITIONAL - FLUID)

[liltalle]

Sorting The Bright Sessions - Sorting Hat Chats

The Bright Sessions is an audio drama about a therapist and her "atypical" super-powered clients, deftly exploring mental health from emotional and institutional angles with the magical realism of atypical abilities interwoven with real problems, and it's my favorite podcast of all time. (The diegetic audio, being almost all office recordings or phone calls or voice memos, is so immersive, really gilds the lily. I love the crunch of Joan pressing the button to end a session.) I've been revisiting it lately, and I have thoughts on the characters' motivations and problem-solving styles.

The classifying system I'll be using is best described by @wisteria-lodge here. Spoilers below the cut.

Dr. Joan Bryant (Bright) - Snake Bird. Our titular psychiatrist has a bit of a Bird Primary model, she talks about "patient-doctor confidentiality", and it bothers her when she breaks it... but she breaks it, without all that much hesitation. Her lodestone is Mark, her brother, her most important Person, who she failed, and now she's throwing her everything into getting him back. And she's laying a careful plan about it, using her new patients as tools. It's noteworthy that Sam and Chloe feel rather ill-used by this, I think a Badger would be more tempted to... ask? Lean on their decency for help? Joan's a schemer, even though she's morally conflicted about that. (My Snake Badger bias is - her goal is awesome, could use some more emotionally open communication.) Her fatal flaw at the AM was attraction to power, to Wadsworth: a young impressionable Snake, very competent in her own right but slighted for being a woman, met an indomitable mentor and was swept up in her charisma—a relatable Snake weakness. Caleb reminds her of Mark, and so gets an echo of her worrying and loyalty. When Mark is safe, when the rest of her little clan is safe, she's able to consider more ambitious plans again.

Sam Barnes - Snake Bird. Sam's formative trauma was that her ability killed her parents. She lost the only people in her life and her trust in herself. She retreated from the world and couldn't even leave the stove on for fear on one of her trips. Her cat Darwin was her only solace for years. And then she met Joan, and Mark, and everyone else. She started to heal. She worried about trusting Joan, but once she falls for Mark, she's all in on the rescue plan. She's a little ruthless about Damien when he threatens her people, in a way the other Primaries clearly aren't. I think her Secondary takes a little longer to unBurn, but we do see it. We see Hacker Sam, Historical Research Sam, the one with the ambition and plans to forge a counter-AM. She's rather unapologetic about the hacking, wants to be kind but is less worried about privacy concerns than Chloe. I think it's a cool dynamic, Joan and Sam house-matching, these two loyal schemers, butting heads, loyal to the same guy, building an organization together. It makes sense of how they clash and get each other at the same time.

Mark Bryant - Double Badger. The guy who gets (and gives) so much loyalty. Mark really obviously cares about all people intrinsically. Damien kidnaps, mind-controls, and lies to him and Mark still tries so hard to do right by him, and I'm confident that's not just lingering effects of Damien's power. He bonds with one of the guards outside his prison cell. He refuses to leave Damien alone when he's helpless. And what he's forced to do during his imprisonment... he doesn't like to talk about it, but it devastated him. Hurting other atypicals to survive was not easy for him. It takes all that for him to write Wadsworth off as a monster. I think his power literally being mirroring others' abilities works too well as a metaphor for Badger Sec mirroring. There's bonding with the guard, there's how in confronting Damien... he doesn't do it like a Lion would, it's not dramatic or solid, he's there to be genuine and firm eventually, but he feels he needs to hear Damien out, to try to reach him one last time. And that hearing him, feeling out how Damien works, identifying how he just won't change, and then insisting he leave- that felt Badger to me. It's a quiet power, but it lands harder when you really listen first. The trauma's singed him somewhat, it's hard for him to do anything, but the kindness is still there. It's beautiful, and easy to see why Joan and Sam care about him so much.

Chloe - Lion Badger. Chloe is the brightest ray of sunshine in the series. She stubbornly kind, while insisting she's "not naive", looks for the good in everyone (and she can see it in their thoughts). She doesn't connect with a particular community so much as Art, she loves Love (romance), she sees Frank and feels called to help him. Initially, she think her telepathy is angels speaking to her, and the grandiosity of that feels a little Liony to me, her inner voice(s) giving her a higher calling. She worries about ethics (privacy in particular) a lot, she's nice but will stand up for herself when pushed (calling Joan and Sam out that she can't be blamed for spying and asked to use it and handed full responsibility for that choice at once, that's not fair to her.) Her Secondary... I think is Badger. She finds joy in being a channel for Frank's art, mirroring him. She hides her headaches (she finds isolation clarifying, which a Loyalist might've had a little harder time with). Many of the group meet through her, Sam at the art studio with her and Caleb and Adam come by, she's a Connector. She feels like the Heart of the Group, and also taken for granted in that role on occasion. I could be wrong on the sorting though. I don't see as many good concrete problem-solving examples, the show has a lot of processing feelings, better for distinguishing Primaries.

Caleb - Badger Lion. Caleb's sorting is similar to Mark's. Joan is specifically reminded of her brother when Caleb says he wants to use his power as a therapist to help people. Caleb's direct and generous. He's horrified by his capacity for violence, and doesn't consider protecting his boyfriend an acceptable reason at all. He's blunt about asking Dr. Bright for secret info about the AM, he tends to freak out more than in under stress, he wants to be Adam's superhero. His empathy overwhelming his own emotions is very upsetting for him. I relate as a Badger Sec, and he could be that, but... maybe it's me being biased about football players, but something about him working out stress by "leaving it all on the field" feels more direct than Mark is.

Adam - Double Bird. The "dork" to Caleb's "meathead", Adam's studious, flirts with his boyfriend by teasing him about correcting his essays and the Oxford comma. He's the most enthused by the atypicals' abilities. Ethically, Adam cares about his people a lot, but he doesn't use "you were protecting me" as an excuse for Caleb attacking Damien at all (which feels like the obvious first thing to my Snake instincts, very morally charged incident that, sorts a lot of characters based on their first concerns). He discusses the issue from a few angles, to talk Caleb down. And when he asks point blank: "Am I from a family of monsters?" It doesn't seem like it's about his loyalties being misplaced, it's moral information about himself. It puts doubt into his system, if he could be like them. He struggles with the idea that Annabelle could really love him, if she could hurt other people. It's viscerally philosophical for him.

Damien - Double Snake. Damien is very lonely, that Primary is Burnt around the edges. His power has isolated him, the worst moment being when he drove his parents away. He compensated with a Lion model, saying that he's better than everyone else, but what does he actually do? Harass Joan and hope that she remembers his birthday. He keeps Mark with him explicitly so that someone could finally understand him, and he's devastated when that doesn't work. He's emotionally torn open, even though he doesn't know how to learn or repair anything. His fixation on Mark reading like romantic attachment fits: Mark is his Person, in Damien's tragic projecting way. He only finds connection through control, what keeps him safe, the only thing his ability let him have. It's all he knows (it's rather heartbreaking, seems just how abysmal Damien's emotional literacy is, and how much it makes sense that he couldn't learn in his ability's bubble.) Damien seems very comfortable, however, in his Secondary. He likes charming his way through every interaction, improvising his way through life. Taking Mark seems a momentary decision, and the aftermath had no plan, just keep going, two guys on the open road. When he gets back, no plans, no built-up defenses, until Annabelle tempts him with immunity to atypical abilities, and then he has to have that safety. A Built Secondary with his ability would've... built something with it, unless Burned, but Damien seems very happy to lounge through life (if only he weren't alone).

Frank - Badger Lion. When asked why he joined the military, Frank says (frankly) that he found community there, that his family was always too small for him, but the Marines finally felt like home. His unit, and the emotional Unity they had, was even more so. He never calls any of them by name, they meant something to him as a group. The deepest trauma of the war for him was feeling other people die, knowing they were people like him, and then losing the only people who understood him. With Chloe, he discovers new community with the atypical gang. For his Secondary, Frank is quite direct and formal. He's calm in a crisis. He doesn't seem to build much, and he doesn't charm like a Snake at all. He wants to be forthright, get a job on his own. And his joy is painting, expressing himself, even through Chloe. So not a loud Lion, but that sorting makes more sense than the others to me.

Director Ellie (Annabelle) Wadsworth - Lion Snake. Ellie's in the AM for the glory and the power. She'll make whatever sacrifices to achieve it. She seems to have a shade of Snake loyalty to Adam when Damien threatens him... but then she doesn't act in time to protect him, and she still plays with Damien afterward. Which I don't think a Snake would do so easily. And a Snake would be lonelier, in a climb to power, Ellie doesn't seem to need anyone. Her Secondary... either Lion or Snake. Ellie plays with people. She has her mind games with Joan. When Damien comes calling, she just has to show off her invulnerability, and doesn't consider the consequences. I don't know if it's Snake masks, I'm leaning that way, or if she's low-empathy and just believes this stuff about herself. But Joan's anecdote about her walking into a room and spinning her superiors' heads around until they gave her more funding... a very confident Improvisational Secondary.

Agent Owen Green - Idealist Primary. "You used to like my ideals." Might check back in on Green once I've refinished the series, he has some important decisions late in the game.

[redistrictgirl]

Is election forecasting broken?

Both presidential candidates are skeptical of what the polls currently say, and I've seen a lot of debate over the trustworthiness of election forecasting at large. I thought, to that end, that it might be nice to go over the philosophy behind my forecast about polling error and what what some possibilities could be if the polls are "off".

The primary metric that can be gleaned from a poll is not strictly the margin, but how close each candidate is to receiving a majority. In this sense, we could actually say that (aside from arguably the Southeast) the polls were fairly accurate in 2016 - both candidates received at least the support they were projected to in advance. The disparity between Ms. Clinton's apparent strength and her loss on Election Night can be chalked up to Mr. Trump getting the lion's share of undecided voters and third-party leaners. 2020 is a better example of a genuine whiff in that department - future-President Biden was said to have more support secured than he actually did. This *can* happen from time to time, and my model accounts for that possibility.

Another phenomenon at play is the difference between the accuracy of state-level and national polls. 2020 aside, national polls are typically good at predicting the margin as well as the base of each party's level of support, while state-level polls are much more of a crapshoot. This is part of the reason why polling is perceived as more accurate in midterms than presidential years, though that isn't guaranteed to be the case - people are looking at the popular vote (or generic ballot) much more intently than individual races in single states or districts when there's no Electoral College at play. There were some big misses in 2022, actually - New Hampshire's and Pennsylvania's Senate races immediately spring to mind. A good forecast keeps this disparity in mind and adjusts how polling averages translate to probabilities accordingly.

So, what does this all mean for 2024? I like to envision the range of scenarios as a deck of cards. Let's say that each suit represents a different scenario relative to forecasts - a great outcome for Republicans would be a heart, a good outcome for the GOP would be a diamond, a good outcome for Democrats would be a spade, and a great outcome for Democrats would be a club. Our last four drawn cards, then, would be a heart in 2016, a diamond in 2018, another heart in 2020, and a spade in 2022. Drawing three red cards in four tries happens fairly often, and we got three different suits despite polling errors happening in cycles where we got each. Certainly, it doesn't look like forecasting is broken when you frame it like this!

So, what's our hand?

Here are 85th-percentile and 65th-percentile outcomes for each candidate, based on Sunday's forecast. These are reasonable representations, I think, of each "bracket" of outcomes.

None of these outcomes line up exactly with polling at the moment, nor are they strictly likely to be the final outcome. But the stories each tells about the election is quite different, and it's possible to imagine that each narrative is roughly equally likely. So as I said at the end of 2022's cycle, no one knows exactly what will happen in November, and if they tell you they know, they're lying.