#And the fact it was recommended to me cause someone I follow liked it

[able-remedious]

Me going threw tumblr: Ah, todays a good day

*sees a blog with velvet and veneer fanart* huh, wonder what this is about? *sees this bitch ship velvet and veneer*

My day is tainted 🤮😭

[fastandcarlos]

Mixing Work And Pleasure : ̗̀➛ Carlos Sainz

summary: you’re sure as you start at ferrari you’re going to be the ultimate professional, but is it really so bad if you mix work and pleasure?

pairing: carlos x verstappen!reader

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 26,948 others

ynverstappen: first day on the new job, I think I might just like it around here ❤️🏎️

3,859 comments

username1: congratulations yn, this is such an exciting step for you!!

maxverstappen1: couldn’t be prouder of you little one, if anyone bothers you, send them big brother’s way 😂

carlossainz55: we’re so excited to have you with us making the best content in the world 🥺

username2: let’s be honest, she only got the job cause she’s max’s sister

danielricciardo: does this mean you’re in the paddock every week now so I can always come and annoy you!?

ynusername: @/danielricciardo I’m a professional now btw 🙃

charles_leclerc: can’t wait to get started and see what you’ve got in store for us!!

username3: the way she already has charles and carlos smiling after one day makes me think this is gonna be amazing

landonorris: fighting through the tears knowing you picked them over me 😭

ynusername: @/landonorris send your complaints to your boss who assured me you didn’t need any new media managers!!

username4: our favourite sibling is gonna be in the paddock every week from now on 🎉

username5: there is no one more deserving of this, you’re a genius with ideas for content!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,392,058 others

carlossainz55: the perfect weekend doing all of my favourite things 💞

90,473 comments

username6: not carlos just suddenly springing a relationship on us like it’s nothing 🙂‍↔️

charles_leclerc: hope you guys enjoyed the recommendation I gave you ☺️

carlossainz55: @/charles_leclerc to please your ego I’ll give you full credit for the fact I’ve got a second date!

username7: forget the golf, forget the driving, I wanna know all about the dinner!!

maxverstappen1: isn’t it about time you started doing a different sport, one that’s at least a little bit exciting??

carlossainz55: @/maxverstappen1 I would suggest padel but that’s only exciting for me constantly beating you

username8: he only said a few weeks ago in an interview that he wanted to stay single for a while 😂

landonorris: the only reason the golf is on there is because you beat me!!

username9: there’s no way he’s gonna be able to hide this for too long, the paps follow him everywhere

alex_albon: holding the hands of random strangers is restaurant should not be your favourite thing to do 😂

username10: is this the sort of content the new manager has approved of???

username11: my heart was not prepared for this sudden post to let me know my chances with carlos are over 😭

danielricciardo: looks like someone has some serious explaining to do…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 1,103,694 others

carlossainz55: this new social media manager has me doing all sorts of weird things, apparently fans like photos of me like this…I’m yet to be convinced 😂

103,684 comments

username12: fyi we absolutely love photos like these 😂

landonorris: I nearly fell off my chair laughing after scrolling through this post 😂😂😂

username13: thank you yn for convincing carlos to bless us with a world of meme worthy content

maxverstappen1: enjoy an insight into what I’ve had to deal with for the past 20 years 🙄

carlossainz55: @/maxverstappen1 I’m honestly wondering how you’ve survived this for so long 🤭

username14: he has no idea how much we love seeing this side of him does he???

ynverstappen: I didn’t exactly hear you arguing when I suggested you posting these 🤨

carlossainz55: @/ynverstappen that’s because fred assured me that you know what you’re doing 🤔

username15: saving that middle photo as my new lock screen as we speak 😍

username16: I cannot stress how happy I am that ferrari took a chance on yn!!

oscarpiastri: thanks for showing the world that you’re just a massive weirdo like the rest of us 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by username17, username21 and 2,046 others

f1gossip: SPOTTED in monaco on the weekend off the circuit, carlos sainz and ferrari media manager yn verstappen were spotted looking very comfortable together on a boat. onlookers said the pair looked very happy and were particularly touchy with each other throughout their day. is there a new couple pending in the paddock?

361 comments

username17: I always had a suspicious feeling about these two 🤔

username18: ngl all I want to know is what’s going through max’s head rn…

username19: does this make charles an official third wheel???

username20: I want to be jealous but who can deny that they look so good together

username21: she must be special, carlos wouldn’t post the photos that he did the other day for no one 😂

username22: watch carlos insist that they’re still just friends in the media pen this week 🙃

username23: I thought ferrari hired yn for max…but maybe it was for carlos all along?!

username24: did they really think we wouldn’t notice how close the two of them actually are!?

username25: I can’t wait to see the content we get if they’re dating too 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 32,054 others

ynverstappen: another race means another set up and another day with my two favourite humans. they pull these faces and yet still agree to everything I say cause they adore me 🥺❤️

4,957 comments

username26: are we just gonna pretend this is all professional yn…🤨

charles_leclerc: in that first photo we were both asking for help and yet you chose to ignore us and make us suffer if I remember 🙄

ynverstappen: @/charles_leclerc I repeat, that’s why you adore me!!

maxverstappen1: I hope filming content is all that you’re doing with them!?

username27: I think one might adore you slightly more than the other 🤔

landonorris: something tells me that charles has no choice but to put up with you these days

georgerussell63: adore me = one of the drivers is hopelessly in love with me

username28: “please yn don’t make us do something stupid again!”

danielricciardo: if only you knew just how much carlos really talks about you 🎙️

username29: no one has ever made these two act so daft, yn must have some magical powers 😂

username30: I love how she brings the best out of carlos and charles just goes along with it for the fun!!

carlossainz55: there aren’t many people we would willingly make fools of ourselves for just so you know 👀

ynverstappen: @/carlossainz55 I’ll happily be the exception to the rule 👑

username31: whoever chose yn for the job will forever be known as my favourite person in the world

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 34,958 others

ynverstappen: look out for another challenge coming up on the socials later on this week, as ever I enjoyed annoying these two so much that they didn’t speak to me for the rest of the weekend 🏎️

5,937 comments

username32: I always look forward to the content that you bring us yn 🥺

oscarpiastri: we wouldn’t treat you like that at mclaren fyi 😉

charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri you don’t see the things she makes us do!!

username33: I refuse to believe that carlos didn’t actually speak to you for the rest of the weekend…

lewishamilton: is this the sort of thing I’ve got to look forward to 😬

carlossainz55: my ass will never be the same after bouncing on that space hopper 🤦🏻‍♂️

username34: can anyone actually remember a time when yn wasn’t at ferrari now???

scuderiaferrari: we can’t wait to see what you guys have been up to this week ❤️

charles_leclerc: @/scuderaiferrari does health and safety not matter to you guys anymore??

username35: in every photo yn looks like such a proud aunt that she’s tormenting our boys 😂

landonorris: whatever you do don’t get the boys to race on those space hoppers, I’ve been there and it doesn’t end well 😂😂

danielricciardo: @/landonorris hands down still one of the funniest moments of my career 🙌🏻

username36: I don’t think carlos would ever describe yn as annoying!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, alex_albon and 1,038,261 others

carlossainz55: if someone was to ever ask me what my dream weekend looks like, these are the photos that I would show them ✈️🌊🍳

128,505 comments

username37: not that we needed it, but surely that first photo is definitely yn! 😍

maxverstappen1: at least we know whoever she is (😉) she’s well fed up and seeing the sun!

charles_leclerc: thank you for giving me some much needed peace and quiet this weekend 😂

username38: you know it’s serious when carlos is making pancakes for her!!

landonorris: how come it’s been six years and you’ve not made pancakes for me, yet a certain someone else has already had them!?

carlossainz55: @/landonorris last time I checked we’ve never been in a relationship 🤔

username39: is he really trying to hide her face and put us off the scent like it isn’t obvious 🤦🏻‍♀️

oscarpiastri: we’re just gonna pretend like the whole world doesn’t already know who your girlfriend is are we??

username40: arguably a dream weekend for most of your fans too!!

ynverstappen: nice to see you getting plenty of rest old man 💕

carlossainz55: @/ynverstappen I just turned 30…this is abuse ‼️

username41: every time one of these two post I fall in love with them just a little bit more…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynverstappen, charles_leclerc and 1,294,483 others

carlossainz55: cuddles, kisses and champagne, if you ask me ferrari made the best decision ever hiring you ❤️✨

129,058 comments

username42: eurgh it’s not fair how adorable these two are 😭

landonorris: worst. kept. secret. ever.

oscarpiastri: @/landonorris I don’t think you can ever call these two a secret!

username43: I second that statement btw, best decision ever!!

charles_leclerc: well this explains why I always get the worse deal out of the two of us in all our videos 😂😂

username44: no one seems to be talking about the fact that max seems to be so supportive of these two too 🥺

maxverstappen1: who knew seeing my sister with a guy in red could actually be quite sweet ☺️

username45: from here on in charles shall always be known as the third wheel 😂

georgerussell63: just gonna pretend like I definitely had no idea that this was happening 🙃

danielricciardo: damn cause you did such a good job of pretending you two weren’t together 😝

username46: if yn doesn’t move to williams with carlos next year I don’t know what I’ll do…

ynverstappen: a definite perk of the job was meeting you 💞

carlossainz55: @/ynverstappen the best part of ferrari is definitely you!!

username47: who says that you shouldn’t mix work with pleasure, looks like it paid off for these two!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[kysuguru]

dear mother — stsg x fem!reader

synopsis : you’ve finally enrolled into jujutsu tech, sad thing is, you’re totally clueless.

includes / cw : emotionally abusive mother

all mine masterlist

a /n : ch1 of my “all mine” series!!!

"i'm ogawa [name]. i'm from sendai japan. please take care of me."

you bow politely. smiling at the tiny class of three as you rise, posture nervous and stiff.

"if i knew there was someone new i would've thrown a welcome party!" a white haired boy who's eyes are protected by circular black glasses exclaims excitedly, a smile big on his lips. you admit you're a bit intimidated. the idea of a party for you seems a bit over the top, though.

a boy on his left scoffs almost affectionately, the soft look he sends to his counterpart familiar to you. you always looked at the street cats like that, your mother as well (you try not to think about it). he has a bang over his left eye, you wonder if someone has ever tried to tuck it behind his ear.

"there's no need for a party. my arrival can't be that exciting," you chuckle shyly.

they all analyze you. so you settle with looking at your shuffling shoes.

"she speaks so formally." the gojo boy leans over with a hand cupped around his mouth as he whispers to his best friend, causing you to look up. it's a bit silly that he's acting as if he's whispering a secret even though everyone can hear him.

his friend eyes you apologetically.

there's another girl, the only one who seems actually interested as she stares you down. you flinch as you catch her gaze. her hair is short, in a brown bob that frames her face perfectly. her bangs are tucked behind her ear and there's a mole you catch on her face that convinces you she's model worthy.

other than your mother you've never thought a woman was so pretty.

"so new girl, what's your cursed technique."

new girl.. but i swore i said my name. did i not?

ignoring the white haired boy's lack of manners was easy, since you weren't all that aware he was being rude.

"i actually... don't know."

all three students chorused at the same time.

"hah?"

scouted? me? when you heard such a thing, you were confused and honestly, really surprised. you weren't talented by any means. outside of studying you didn't have much going on. not only that, but your mother kept you in the house a lot. so to hear of someone from jujutsu tech finding you worthy enough to attend had you blinking, astonished.

you were aware of what jujutsu was, cursed techniques and all of that jazz, but your knowledge was still limited beyond that. your mom was adamant on you not attending for reasons she refused to tell. obviously you didn't push. you never liked seeing her with a temper.

the man who recommended you was named yaga masamichi. he'd taken note of the significant amount of cursed energy you possessed when passing by you on your way to school. your family weren't jujutsu sorcerers from what you were aware of — you honestly weren't even sure that there were jujutsu sorcerers or people like you until now. but you'd never put it past your mom to hide something like that from you.

she always kept jujutsu related talk under wraps, only giving you little information to quell your curiosity.

you didn't even know what your cursed technique was. or if you even had one. even though you tried to understand why she does what she does, it still felt very lonely — seeing such heinous creatures and having to pretend they didn't exist for your own safety.

if it weren't for the fact that you instinctively learned to control your cursed energy output, you could've been in serious danger.

and although it was painful to go through such things alone — not being able to confide in a single person — you understood why your mother did it. all she wanted to do was keep you safe.

and even if you followed all of her rules of no jujutsu to a T, you couldn't help the sensation of excitement and relief knowing that there were so many other people out there just like you. a school of them, even.

you wanted badly to be upset with your mother, the fact that she knew about all of this and kept it from you. but even the thought of being angry at her when all she wanted was to protect you had you pushing down those foolish feelings.

other than secretive, your mother was also very stubborn. a trait that you always admired until this very moment.

she argued that you didn't belong into a school that was practically a death trap for young teens. always listening to your mother like an obedient puppy, you looked down at the floor, preparing for the inevitable rejection, expression sad as you shuffled your shoes alongside your mothers that were planted firm on the ground — you resisted the urge to distance yourself from her.

your eyes drifted to the shoes that were yaga's hoping no one would question your silence (they never did).

your mother wasn't a bad person. never that. but sometimes you couldn't help but get upset at the decisions she made in your stead. you wouldn't say that she didn't consider you, but sometimes it kinda felt that way.

"i get where you're coming from. jujutsu tech is a dangerous place and i hate to bring such young talented kids into such risks. but you have to understand your daughters side," he gestured towards you, your mothers eyes dropping to your head that perked up before they glared back at yaga.

"how do you think she feels knowing she has the opportunity to branch out and gain knowledge about these abilities. do you think she wants to stay ignorant because you do?"

your ears rang as the last sentence was spoken.

"do you think she wants to stay ignorant because you do?"

it resonated with you in a way you couldn't comprehend. all you could do was clutch your chest as a foreign feeling of relief left your choked up throat in a bated breath. the exhale feeling as if you were being freed from something. being seen.

"[name], my sweet darling baby," she caressed the top of your head. it was instinct to lean into her touch, even though at the moment you couldn't sort out how you felt towards her.

she's protecting you. the words whisper in your ear, like a disease that is incurable, like a predator that sinks its fangs and refuses to let go.

"mommy wants you to stay home with her. please consider it. it's so dangerous out there, and i really don't want you to get hurt," she cooed. it made you feel sick and you hated not knowing why. even though her words were meant to console you, they only made you want to run.

your eyes were glued to the dirty mat that you and your mother refused to clean, maybe because it was the most familiar thing in this constant changing house. there were five pairs of shoes, you, yaga, and mother and two unworn pairs off to the side, both meant for other occasions, better ones. ones that don't include the ringing of your ears and the well of your tears as they collect on your lashes. maybe it's an occasion where you're at a nice dinner with your mom, a rare treat whenever she deemed herself in the mood.

the bigger pair of shoes shifted. yaga.

"miss ogawa. i don't mean to overstep, but have you considered you're babying your 15 year old child? maybe you need to consider that she can make her own-"

"don't you dare tell me how to parent my own damn child." her voice is dripping with venom, the venom that seeps through you and whispers in your ear.

i just want to protect you.

your mothers anger was never a calm one, it was loud and furious, voice bouncing off the walls as she tried restraining herself from getting violent. so hearing her talk to the man in such a familiar tone had you quivering in her hold.

your mother, never under the assumption that she could ever be the reason you were upset, deduced that your shivers were caused by yaga.

so she glares, long and hard, and her lips move to form the words you were dreading, "my daughter is not attending your shit school. get out of my house.”

...

other than the sound of life beyond the door, there only laid cold, anxious silence.

you were afraid to look up, your mother's shirt being your only anchor. but from the resigned sigh that left yaga's lips, you were well aware of the expression he was making — one of anger, and disappointment. realizing that seeking you out was a waste of his time.

or so you assumed.

for he could only look at you in pity, acknowledging how painful a relationship like this must be for you, and in longing, hoping foolishly that he could lend a helping hand.

a rough calloused hand entered your vision, a piece of ripped paper in the grip of his fingers.

yaga gestured it towards you patiently, a look of sorrow marring his usually calm expression. "if there's a change, please call this number."

your mom ripped it from his grasp right before you could touch it. she crumpled it in her hand. "there won't be a change. now get the fuck out of my house."

you could only stare in horror at your mothers fist that held the only thing that could possibly change the trajectory of your life. even as yaga bowed and turned around, even as the door slammed shut behind him. even as mother soothed you with quiet coos meant for a baby, even as she turned towards the kitchen to start on dinner, even as she sat you down and commented on your silence. even as she watched you absentmindedly pick on your food, even as she started to become agitated at your lack of response, and even as she treaded up the stairs to her bedroom. your eyes stayed glued to that one hand.

you blinked, eyes dry and mouth parched as you suddenly remembered that you weren't at the front door anymore while your mother cradled you in her arms.

your eyes drift to the front door, and you approach it slowly. you don't know why you stand there or why your hand touched the door knob.

maybe it's because you're hopeful that the man is behind this door. waiting patiently for you to open it, prepared with the words of acceptance. maybe something amongst it that helps you figure out what the hell to do.

"a school of them." you whispered, the only thing capable of leaving your dry mouth.

there was a school of them. proof that you really weren't alone in this cursed world. how could you possibly go back to the difficult life of acting as if everything was normal when it wasn't? blue auras were around everybody, and the grotesque creatures festered from the negative feelings surrounding those people. and there were those out there who knew how to get rid of those things for the sake of others.

knowing all of this, you couldn't stand by and not lend a hand, not learn to control the one thing that's burdened you your entire life. but..

you looked up the stairs, seeing just the top of your mothers door.

what would she do? she needed you. you both took care of each other, you couldn't leave her behind.

but you needed this. you wanted to figure all of this out. control theses abilities and hopefully get to know people who were just like you. and... you could always come back.

yeah.

who said you had to stay? you would go, go to jujutsu high, reach your goals, and return to your mother.

because even though you may make friends with those of similar backgrounds to you, your mother was a constant in your life, never changing. you couldn't abandon her. you wouldn't.

so with this new resolve in your heart, you snuck up to her room. she kept her door creaked for unknown reasons, maybe to keep an eye on you, but you ignored that and thanked its convenience for this very moment.

she was asleep. snoring.

you treaded carefully over to the bed, eyes focused on the bags growing under her lashes. the sight made your lips twitch into a small frown. you delicately tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. listening to her steady breathing as she dreamt the night away.

"wait for me, mother.”

you turned away and grabbed the piece of paper off of her nightstand, leaving the room with a sense of urgency.

you dialed yaga's number after locking your bedroom door, pacing around in circles as the phone rung. the ringing resonated in your ears like a ticking clock. you didn't really have time. if he wouldn't answer now you'd never get your chance.

your mom was an early bird and you could already feel yourself getting drowsy.

"i mean. who even calls this late. he might be asleep..." you whisper defeatedly and pull the phone away from your ear to hang up, but it lights up with his icon and you jump in excitement.

"miss. ogawa?"

"masamichi-san. it's [name]."

Dear mother,

I've departed, something I'm sure you noticed. As much as I wanted to obey you, I couldn't just abandon the opportunity that could help change my life for the better. I know you were trying to protect me, and I know that it's dangerous. But I can't live knowing that my life could be different. I can't just sit by and watch this spark of light dim, let my world go dark again. I'm not like you, mother. I will not stay ignorant. Wait for me, please.

I lov-

a loud shrewd rip echoes through the quiet house. your mother's eyes are dull, face empty as she starts furiously ripping the paper to shreds.

she suddenly screams out in anger, tears of frustration bubbling and blurring her vision. she grips her hair in agony as she starts chanting curses.

"dammit dammit, dammit!! i told her it was dangerous. i told her. damn her!! good for nothing daughter... not listening to a fucking word i say!!"

your mom stomps angrily out of her room, not caring for the small pieces of paper she tramples over.

"I love you,"

"mother."

[violettwrites]

hi!! will you please write another fic about daryl x reader

reader seeing/experiencing something traumatic and she’s shaking and tears rolling down her cheeks and daryl sits down in front of her trying to comfort her.

safe in your skin 🏹 daryl dixon

a/n: hi nonnie than you so much for this request !! ( and sorry it took so long 😭 ) i listened to the song linked while writing this and highly recommend you guys do too !! it’s beautiful and tigers jaw is one of my fave bands 🫶🏻 anyway i hope you enjoy this !! and as always, don’t forget to like/reblog if you enjoyed this and feel free to follow me to see more of my stuff !! x

i also just realised gregory is the fkn asshole from hilltop but this is NOT him i just couldn’t think of names apparently i am so sorry

as always, my ask box is open !

( intended lowercase )

summary: reader and daryl go on a supply run, but are separated from someone close to them— when they do eventually find them, they must learn to deal with the unforgiving curse that is life.

warnings: mentions of death

word count: 848

the woods were eerily quiet, the usual rustle of leaves and the distant calls of wildlife had been replaced by a thick and heavy silence. you and daryl had been split from gregory during a supply run, someone you had been through the fall with since the start. your best friend in this unforgiving world. but you had known he was smart enough to survive on his own until the two of you found him. or so you thought.

the sun was starting to breach the horizon, the soft glow casting an almost angelic light over the town daryl had led you to in search for your best friend. if it was anyone else, he probably would have told them it wasn’t worth risking their lives to look for him, but you were different.

making your way towards the warehouse you all were supposed to go to so you could find supplies, you stopped once you reached the parking lot, spotting a group of walkers, all crouched down as they feasted on something— someone.

gregory.

you knew that brown coat he had worn since the start, now covered in blood and guts— the remains of what was once your best friend. the sight was too much, causing you to drop to your knees, mouth open to speak but nothing came out.

the brutal reality hit you like a tidal wave— all at once. sure, you had lost people before. people that were close to you, but there was something so much different about losing your best friend. your confidant. the one you told everything to. just taken away from you like that. he was gone. his last moments presented to you in a gruesome way— a way he never wanted to go out.

your hand shakily came to your mouth, tears clouding your vision as they freely streamed down your cheeks, choked sobs coming from your lips as you tried to process what happened, but you couldn’t. you couldn’t get your head around the fact he was truly gone. it was a sight that was haunting, knowing it would be imprinted in your mind for the rest of your life.

daryl, ever the stoic figure he was, had been beside you, at a loss for words. he watched as you struggled to keep yourself together, but the sight of you silently breaking down next to him made his heart wrench. you didn’t deserve to see your best friend’s end like that. no one did.

he took a deep breath, crouching down slowly in front of you, fearing that any sudden moment or words might shatter you further.

“hey,” he spoke softly, his rough voice carrying a tenderness that was rarely heard. he reached out, placing his hands on your shoulder in attempt to ground you— to bring you back to this reality, as much as you didn’t want to be here.

you looked up at him, eyes red and glassy, struggling to form words. daryl didn’t push; he simply stayed there, his present a silent testament to his support. he wasn’t asking you to speak or pretend you were okay, he was just there, a steady presence in the midst of your storm.

as the minutes ticked by, daryl slowly pulled you into a gentle embrace, arms tightly wrapped around you. you rested your head against his chest, body still trembling as you tried to come to terms with the loss you had just suffered suddenly. you tried to focus on the beat of his heart, steady as you listened, a small yet significant reassurance. he stroked your hair with one hand, the other still holding you close.

“i know,” he murmured into your hair, his voice rough yet filled with emotion. “it ain’t fair, it ain’t right.” he paused for a moment, swallowing hard as he tried to find the right words. “but we gotta keep goin’. for him. for everyone we lost. we gotta keep movin’.”

you nodded against him, the closeness offering a fragile sense of comfort. you knew daryl was right, the world didn’t stop for anyone. and the dead wouldn’t stop for anything. not even your tears and cries. but the ache in your chest was still painful. yet his presence was a lifeline, a reminder that even in the darkest moments, you weren’t alone.

eventually, you pulled back slightly, meeting his gaze. there was a shared understanding in his eyes, an unspoken bond formed through loss and survival. everyone had experienced the same thing. but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

daryl offered a small, encouraging nod, and together, you stood up, ready to face the rest of your journey— knowing it would be filled with more moments like this. as much as you wish it wasn’t— that cruel things didn’t have to happen to such kind people.

the road ahead was uncertain and filled with the echoes of loss, but with daryl by your side, you took your first step forward, carrying the memory of gregory with you— not his gruesome death, but the light he brought to your life.

[pipsipey17]

across my memory.

natasha romanoff x fem!reader

main masterlist

summary: an arranged marriage led you to leaving the woman you love. who knew that you would meet again merely a decade later only under different circumstances once upon a december.

contains: angst and some fluff (if you squint hard enough)

a/n: i recommend listening to once upon a december while reading this cause i sorta based this story on that song :>

You have received an invitation by the neighboring kingdom of Volkov, they were inviting you and your husband to their grand ball in celebration of the king’s birthday. 

As you were checking yourself in the mirror you suddenly heard a knock on the door, “Are you all prepared my dear?” your husband asked. 

“I- um… yes, I’m all ready now.” You replied and stood up swiftly from your seat then grabbed all your belongings before leaving the room. 

Once you opened the door, your husband greeted you with awe and admiration in his eyes. You were wearing a deep red ball gown with beads and pearls surrounding it, there was nothing really special about your ball gown, in fact, you found it stocked away in your closet. “You always look so mesmerizing, my love.” He said and kissed you on the cheek and offered his arm for you to hold. 

Attending grand balls wasn't something you really liked, in fact, you always found them socially tiring but your husband thinks otherwise. He would always be happy to attend these gatherings, because of the chance to socialize with other people which he oh so love whereas you were acting like an obedient wife following him everywhere he goes.   

~~~

You finally arrived at the ball and as usual, you walked beside your husband as he chatted with some of your friends and acquaintances. 

“Artur, it has been a while old friend.” A man suddenly said as he shook your husband’s hand and kissed your gloved hand as a greeting. You realized that it was the king himself, Roman Volkov. 

“It has been indeed, I see you’ve finally married.” Artur gesturing to the woman who is assumingly his wife who has a fan covered across her face, only her eyes seemingly visible to you. 

Emerald eyes. Eyes that you remember all too well. 

It’s her. 

“I’m Natasha, it's a pleasure to meet you Artur.” Natasha spoke and bowed slightly to him.  

“The pleasure is all mine,” your husband said as he kissed Natasha’s gloved hand, “This is my wife, Y/N.” Artur introduced and you bowed to her slightly in greeting. 

“Why don’t you both ladies chat whilst Artur and I chat to catch up on things while having drinks?” Roman said as he planted his arm onto your husband’s shoulder.

“Sounds like a great idea,” Artur suddenly chimed.

A total bad idea.  

“Alright, but don’t drink too much.” You said to him.

“I’ll see you later, love.” Artur said, then kissed you on the cheek before he left with Roman. You could feel Natasha’s eyes on the both of you. 

Natasha removed the fan from her face revealing her full facial features, it’s like she hasn’t even aged. She still looks beautiful as you remembered. “Follow me.” she said before you both walked in silence.

Someone holds me safe and warm

Your mind was racing with questions, it has been merely 12 years since you saw each other and the night you promised her a life with you for eternity. 

Horses prance through a silver storm

Figures dancing gracefully

“Some wine?” Natasha offered as the two of you entered what assumably is their entertainment hall because of the piano on the side of the room and with the bookshelves around.

“No, thank you.” You replied, making Natasha shrug and poured herself some wine.

“I can’t believe you’re married, for how long?” you asked.

Natasha swallowed her wine and replied, “For almost five years now.”

Your heart sank upon hearing those words, but you knew it was bound to happen after what you said to her all those years ago.

“I'll end our marriage in five years time, and I promise that I'll be with you until my last breath.”

Across my memory

“Do you actually love him? Is that why you didn't leave him like you said you would years ago?” Natasha suddenly blurted out.

You were taken aback by her question, “Natasha, I-”

“It’s only a simple yes or no question Y/N.”  

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down before saying, “Yes, I love him.” 

That wasn't enough to convince her. She started to move closer and you kept backing away but eventually your back hit the wall, “Look me in the eyes and say that one more time.”

Far away long ago

You looked into her emerald green eyes, oh how you missed those eyes of hers, eyes that would look at you with much love and admiration, but now, her eyes were filled with something different, rage, anger, and sadness.

Glowing dim as an ember

Your mouth opened but nothing came out making Natasha smirk and say, “I know you’re lying but if you insist.”

You wanted to speak but you knew she wasn't done, “You said to wait for you for five years but I waited for six long painful years before I fully convinced myself that you weren’t coming back. I eventually decided to marry Roman. I told myself that I’ll learn to love him and hopefully forget about you throughout our marriage.

But I couldn’t, I acted like a faithful wife around him but I acted like I was in a brothel when he wasn’t around. I slept with multiple women trying to banish you from my mind but I just couldn’t.”

You were stunned and shocked with what she said but she continued, “You probably have forgotten about me after all these years, seeing that you didn’t come back for me five years after you got married.”

Things my heart used to know

You couldn't stay quiet any longer,  “How could I forget the woman who loved me for who I am, the woman who made me feel like I was safe with her. The woman who made me feel like I was… home.” You replied and you suddenly felt your eyes sting, tears wanting to fall but you stopped yourself from being too vulnerable in front of her. 

“If you truly loved me, you could’ve done what you promised all those years ago!” Natasha said in an almost yelling tone. She saw you flinch at her words and immediately regretted raising her voice at you, “I-I'm sorry.” she said and approached you once again.

Things it yearns to remember

She cupped your cheek and her eyes flickered onto your lips silently asking for consent. You nodded slightly and closed your eyes until finally feeling her lips on yours. It was filled with passion and longing, almost like it was a perfect puzzle.

You missed this, you missed the feeling of kissing her, touching her, you missed everything about her.

“You’re as beautiful as the day I last saw you.” you said which made Natasha smile sadly. 

Your tears started to stream down your cheeks and she was there to wipe them, just like how she would before. 

“Would you still run away with me if I asked you to?” Natasha asked with a slight smirk on her face.

You shook your head slightly, “I can’t.” you whispered.

“You can’t or you won’t?” Natasha retorted.

You held her hand and placed it onto your stomach, “I’m… pregnant.” 

You felt Natasha tense up at the unexpected news but she asked, “Does he know?” and you shook your head, “I haven’t told him yet.”

“We can still run away together, we’ll take care and raise the child like our own.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Natasha,” you let go of her hand and walked to where the wine bottle was, grabbing yourself a glass.  “Artur has been wanting to have a child for years and me leaving him for you is a death sentence, for me and especially you.” You said and immediately drank half of the wine in your glass. “This unborn child is now my priority. That is why as much as I want to leave the place I call hell everyday and take another chance of a new life with you I can’t.”

You took another drink and more tears started to flow down, “It also would be best if this is the last time we’ll see each other.” you said with a choked sob. 

Natasha immediately approached you and made you face her, “No, no, moya lyubov, please,” she begged. If her voice already sounded like she was hurt, her eyes showed more pain. “It’s been more than a decade since we last saw each other Y/N, isn’t this supposed to be a sign from the gods that we’re meant to be with each other?” 

She was right, despite after not seeing each for years on end, fate had decided that the both of you would meet once again once the both of you had lost all hope. 

Only in different and more complicated circumstances now.

Natasha held your hand and said, “Please Y/N, don’t leave me again.” Her eyes were begging for you to leave with her.

A sudden knock on the door made you both stand still. “Y/N? Are you in there with Natasha?” It was your husband. 

“I… uh- yes, we’re in here.” you replied and Artur entered the room. 

“As much as I hate to interrupt your chatting but we best get going, it is almost midnight and I know how much you value your rest.” He said as he wrapped his arm around your waist, “I sure hope you and Natasha had a great chat.” 

“We did.” Natasha dryly replied with a fake smile plastered on her face as he looked at your husband. 

Artur smiled and asked you, “Well, shall we go?” 

“Yes, let’s go.” you replied and Artur started to walk you outside with him. “Actually, there’s something I’d like to ask Natasha… alone.” you said to him.

“Alright my love, I’ll wait for you outside.” Artur then left the room and once you heard him shut the door you immediately rushed towards Natasha and crashed your lips onto hers one last time. 

And a song someone sings

Natasha felt it, and you did too.

It was farewell.

You walked out of the room without saying another word, only holding onto the memory of a forbidden love that two women failed to save despite being given another chance to do so.   

Perhaps in another life or in another universe, you and Natasha lived the lives you wanted together. It just wasn’t this one.

Once upon a December

[tyunphoria]

🌪️two shots of espresso, three shots to the heart — h.hyunjin (pt.1)

- - - - -

⚠️NSFW CONTENT⚠️

- - - - -

camboy!hyunjin x barista!reader

SYPNOSIS: your best friend/co-worker worries about your sad, single, life-style. he suggested a — quote-un-quote — ‘dating site’ but it turned out to be an adult streaming website. you accidentally stumbled upon a streamer who went by the user @SnowFerret320 while trying to close the tab. SnowFerret also happened to be living next door.

INCLUDES: reader with she/her pronouns, best friend wooyoung, SMUT , SLOW-BURN, hyunjin being down bad for y/n, y/n being down bad for snow ferret and practically donating her whole bank account towards his streams, y/n having a thing for hyunjin’s hands, y/n being oblivious to the fact hyunjin’s snowferret for the sake of the plot.

eventually turns into FWB on later parts.

WARNINGS: voyeurism (obvi), alcohol intake, use of toys, reader getting off on his streams, hyunjin being somewhat of a perv?, pet names, praise, degradation, hand kink, voice kink, dirty talk, mentions of obsessive tendencies(?).

wc: 7.8k

! ! THIS IS PART 1 OF THE ‘TWO SHOTS OF ESPRESSO, THREE SHOTS TO THE HEART’ SERIES. ! !

✩

  "Woo..." you sigh, squinting down at the nearly illegible writing on the paper.

Twisting it this way and that, frustration creases your brow as the words continue to swim and blur together.  

"Your handwriting... is so ass," you mutter.

Wooyoung snatches the paper back, waving it in front of your face with a mischievous grin. "harmonymatch.com," he explains, "It's a dating site.  It'll help you get laid." 

You roll your eyes at his suggestion as you change into your work uniform and tie on your apron.  Glancing back at Wooyoung, you give him an unimpressed look. “Tinder, yubo, elitesingles… Those are all the sites you recommended. Wanna know what they all have in common?” you list, pretending to tap your cheek in thought. “oh yeah—they never worked out!” 

“Then keep digging till you find yourself a fine hunk.” Woyoung’s matchmaking efforts often caused more trouble than help. You’ve tried out multiple dating sites and in every single one of them they turned out to be a catfish or just some weirdo looking for sex.

“You’re more invested in my love life than I am.” You shook your head.

“Well,” Wooyoung starts, draping an arm across your shoulder, “that’s what cupid Woo is here for. Let your dear best friend take care of it.” His corny charisma brought a small smile to your face. As irritating as he can be, you somehow appreciate his efforts. Underneath the misguided meddling, he just wants you to be happy, and you know that.

He playfully leans all his weight on you followed by a dramatic sigh. “Like, seriously. You’re in your fossil era and yet you’re still a virgin. What’s the point in living then?”

“I’m not a virgin!” You huffed as your knees buckled under his weight, “my first time just wasn’t… ideal. And you know the people I’ve dated in the past never worked out. Whenever I think the relationship’s going great, they block and ghost me forever.”

“Maybe if you stopped being colour blind and see the red flags then maybe your relationships will work out.” He scoffed. “And your first time didn’t even count; that jackass lasted three minutes and passed out right after. Hence, making you still a virgin—“

He’s cut off by someone clearing their throat. You both turned to see a man standing there with a tight smile on his lips.

“Can I order?” His voice sounded so smooth and languid as you flushed and shoved Wooyoung off of you.

“Of course,” you stammer, “what can I get for you?”

The man—with slightly tousled dark hair that fell perfect across his forehead—his handsome gaze found lingering on yours, making your heart skip. As he paid, he flashed you another smile which caused his eyes to disappear into beautiful crescent moons. 

After he leaves, Wooyoung nudges you teasingly. “Looks like you and pretty boy were having a moment.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Wait, there’s a term for it nowadays… eye-fucking, I think?” He cackled.

You shove him one last time before making your way to the back with reddened cheeks. Even though you most likely won’t see that man ever again, had he heard you and Wooyoung’s awkward sex talk? Hell, how long was he standing there for? 

“That was so embarrassing…”

✩

You looked at your phone to check what time it was. 11:46 p.m, it read.

“I don’t have classes tomorrow,” you slumped in your seat, “might as well start on that term paper.”

Although it was pretty late, you just couldn’t find yourself sleeping anytime soon. For some reason, your mind just worked better at night. Moving over to the bed,  you took your laptop resting the device on your lap as you leaned against the headboard. 

The deadline seemed far away yet your motivation came in bursts. An hour into typing, distraction felt closer than focusing. Laying the laptop aside, you shifted to your left to turn out the lamp so you could finally ease into the stillness of the night. On the nightstand, you spotted the paper Wooyoung gave you earlier.

“He gave me a shit ton of these already,” you sighed as you took the paper, “let’s see what this one’s about.”

You typed in the website on your browser and waited for it to load. In all honesty, you just wanted to check it out to see what kind of dating site it was this time. No talking to weirdass strangers, no nothing. Just something to distract your mind at that moment. You glanced over to your right to grab an extra pillow for your sore and aching neck but when you looked back at your laptop, you were met with something unexpected.

The screen was filled with adult streamers. With their privates on full display.

“What the fuck ?!” You instinctively shut your burning eyes, trying to direct the cursor to close the damn tab.

However, much to your luck, you accidentally clicked on a random streamer, seeming as though the live had just only started.

Slowly, you fluttered your eyes open and watched as the guy came in view and sat on his chair in front of the camera. He was wearing a mask, obviously, a white mask that only shows half of his face. What caught your attention was his gaze… he was staring at the camera, almost intensely, looking relaxed as he leaned back on his chair while the nail of his thumb caught between his teeth gnawing at it. 

A calm electricity seemed to pulse from his stare, as if he were actually capturing your gaze and holding it captive. You gulped, fingers twitching and urged for you to close the tab but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. 

The suit he wore drew your eyes curiously—a tailored midnight blue with the blazer resting lightly on his sculpted shoulders, providing fleeting glimpses of the bare skin beneath. His only half-buttoned black shirt glistened as beads of sweat trickled down his dampened chest. 

A small smile played on his lips as he brought his hand lower. “So…” he started with such a tone of voice, one that almost made you melt, “what were we talking about in the last stream again?” 

He adjusted himself and leaned closer to the computer screen. “Ah, yeah,” a sultry laugh slips past his lips. “We were talking about if you could handle me if I fucked your brains out.” The chat went crazy at that comment he made. He didn’t bother reading them as he leaned on his seat.

He spoke with his chat for a few more minutes or so, palming the tent through his pants throughout.

A couple of them were urging him to just whip it out already and you could tell he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

“Okay, okay… wow, you guys are pretty desperate tonight.” 

With one tug of his pants, his dick sprung up with pre-cum already dribbling down its red tip. His slender fingers wrapped around the head of his cock, the palm of his hand circling around it boredly.

“What’s my body count?” He read one of the comments while speeding up the pace of his hand.

“I—fuck… ah…” his lip twitched, sweat trickling down his temple. He bit down on his bottom lip, swirling his thumb around his tip. “Doesn’t matter… could be five, sixty, or even none… just think about how good I can fuck you…” his moans and sharp breathing filled the space of your empty apartment. With his voice the only source of sound you could hear bouncing off the walls, you could feel your eyelids growing heavy as you succumbed to the sound of total eargasm from this guy. 

could be your new favourite asmr, who knows.

His hand started to get faster with its motion, almost like he was getting bored and just wanted to get it over with. He threw his head back, Adams apple bobbing along with each flick of his wrist.  

He drew out a long whine as he licks his lips, continuing to fuck his fist.

“I bet it’d feel better if you were here… sucking my cock like my pr—ah..—precious little slut.”

“cumming…” he gulped, “cumming just for you…” With one last stutter of his hips and his abs flexing, he came. Thick ropes of come trickled down his cock and over his fingers, coating his abs in sinful pleasure as he groaned for the camera.

He swallowed a deep sigh and grabbed a couple of tissues to clean his hand. “That’s about it for tonight.” As the chat bombarded with complaints, he only ever smiled, sending a flying kiss towards the camera. “I know, I know… usually I’d stay and chat for a few more but I feel so tired. I’ll see you the next time I go live, I’ll make it up to you. Make sure to dream about me,” he drawled out.

Without even realizing it, the live had shut off and you were left sitting there with the homepage of the website on display. You were left, thinking, ‘what in the ever living fuck did I just watch?’

And the full thing at that.

“Once I get my hands on that son of a bitch Wooyoung I’ll strangle him to death.”

✩

You didn’t get any sleep. At all.

Exhausted, you dragged yourself out of bed after a sleepless night replaying that fateful stream in your head. You had barely closed your eyes when your manager called asking you to cover a shift for a sick co-worker. Great. Just what you needed. 

You sighed and tiredly grabbed your keys, limbs feeling like lead as you trudged your way outside the door. Your thoughts drifted to visions of warm blankets and a nice cup of steaming hot coffee as you shut the door — causing you to walk straight into someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You muttered, looking up to see your neighbor that just moved in and settled across the hall. He did look familiar… dark hair and nice plump lips. You know you’ve seen them before.

Then it hit you—he was the guy at the coffee shop yesterday.

He reached out instinctively and placed steadying hands on your arms as you lightly stumbled. His touch was brief yet it made you feel at ease. He placed a warm smile on his lips, releasing your arms and took a subtle step back to maintain a close yet not intrusive distance between the both of you.

“Good morning.” A quiet laugh escaped his lips. The sound resonates deep within you, stirring something in your mind you could not yet place.

God, he was so beautiful. More gorgeous than any model you’ve seen. 

You merely nodded, still caught in the warmth of his eyes and the comfort of his smile. “Good morning.” You greeted back, nearly breathless.

When the elevator doors opened, you both stepped in as you awkwardly stood next to him. You hit the button to the ground floor, trying to subtly glance at the handsome man beside you. His all-black outfit did little to conceal his athletic build. The turtleneck compression shirt hugged his torso beautifully, accentuating his broad shoulders tapering down to a narrow waist. A duffle bag sat casually at his feet.

His eyes met yours briefly and you swore you saw the way his lips tugged up into a cocky smile. Shit, were you caught checking him out?

He took note of your slightly disheveled form. “Rough night?” He couldn’t help but say, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence that engulfed the area. “Sorry. Not in that way. You just seemed to be in a daze is all.”

Your cheeks flushed as you cleared your throat. “You have no idea…” you say, slightly embarrassed.

He laughed, running his fingers along his hair before he wore a black cap on. 

“Yeah, me too.”

- - - -

“Good morning, noona! Did you check out the site I recommended—“

“Wooyoung, you lil’ shit!” With gritted teeth, you smacked the back of his head. “You didn’t tell me it was a fucking porn site!”

“Glad you liked my surprise, noona.” He pouted. “So? How was it?”

You can’t confirm nor deny that you enjoyed it. It was… something new beyond your usual comfort. Do people actually spend their time watching that stuff? In all honesty, you get it. Some people have a weekly favourite drama, youtuber, or whatever, and some have their favourite camperson. You felt more curious than judgment if anything.

Did you stay and watch the whole thing? Yes, you did. Why did you? Mere curiosity though was increasingly uncomfortable. Did you enjoy it? Hell no.

Now, let’s play a game of two lies and a truth.

Whatever. Pretend last night never happened and focus, y/n.

✩

@SnowFerret320.

That was his username on harmonymatch. 

According to your friend, Aya, who is strangely familiar with broadcasting jockeys when it came to porn, he goes live once a week every Friday at exactly 11:40 at night.

“You’re telling me this, why?” You asked her.

“Personally, I like @Quokka940 better, I used to watch him when I was still single, but Ferret’s totally your type! Give his streams another chance.”

It’s been a busy week. you’ve been working part time at the cafe but also juggling to write the term paper.

In truth, you’ve been procrastinating.

Your upperclassman, Chan, always scolded you for having that shitty aspect but you only seemed to find motivation last minute. You just haven’t been doing so great lately and it took a huge toll on your stress levels.

You halted the way your fingers danced along the keyboard to crack your knuckles. “Okay. Thirty minute break time.” You concluded after only working for ten minutes, or even less. You glanced at the clock, 11:50.

‘It’s been ten minutes since his stream started…’

You shook your head, eyes widening.

‘Why the fuck would I care?’

“…”

You stared at your own reflection on the black screen of your laptop. 

Then you suddenly found yourself typing the name of the site. 

“I think I’m going batshit insane.” 

You’re only doing this so you could feed your curiosity, you kept reminding yourself. You finally made an account and went by the user @treasure006987.

“Oh? Is that so?” The man who went by ‘Ferret’ sat on his gaming chair, pristine white shirt unbuttoned with a light sheen of sweat on his chest. You watched him lick his lips as he unzipped his pants. “A lot of you are saying you had a bad week…” he stuck out his bottom lip as your breath hitched. “How about I take care of you?”

He dipped his hand into his pants and pulled out his pretty cock. “Just follow my lead…” he continued to roll his fist around the tip, squeezing some lube on his erect cock. “Why don’t you take that off and spread your legs for me, baby… yeah, just like that,” he gulped, squelching sounds echoing in your room as he fucked his fist. 

“So pretty… such a pretty baby… go on and suck your fingers… get them all nice and wet.” An odd feeling of a heavy weight settles in the pit of your stomach as you catch yourself rubbing your thighs together. “Rub your slick all over your hole for me—yeah, just like that.”

You tucked your lower lip between your teeth before you finally reached into your panties, fully succumbing to the growing sensation. Your fingers flicked on your swollen clit, collecting your slick before stuffing your cunt with your fingers. 

“Oh,” he groaned, his voice getting breathier, lower, sexier. “Fuck yourself on your fingers. Bet it’s still not enough, huh? Bet my fingers would stretch you out so fucking good. Too bad there’s a screen that separates us. I bet you can’t help but wish I could be there with you.” He now used both of his fists and bucked into them. He snapped his hips faster, your fingers urged to move in time with his thrusts.

You let your eyes fall shut, his moans had you spiraling. While you flicked on your sensitive bud, you heard a choked moan and as you cracked your eyes open, he hunched over the camera as he reached his orgasm, followed by the soak of your sheets.

Ferret fell silent for a few minutes, all you can hear is his labored breathing. He cleaned himself with napkins before letting out a chuckle.

“Did you enjoy the show?”

The chat explodes with nothing but positive (and horny) feedback. His eyes skimmed through the comments, but the top donors grabbed most of his attention.

@sincerely_yourstruly donated 70$: “again! again!”

“Again?” He laughed. “I don’t know if I could handle another one… you were so good for me, just thinking about you fucking yourself made me nearly cum in just two seconds.”

@badbitchnala donated 37$: “come onnnnn, pleeeaaassseee?”

@halahalamf donated 53$: “when are you finally gonna use sex toys:(“

@purpsjiminipewbs donated 90$: “would you still love us if we were all worms”

He thanked all his donors, answering their questions or comments, no matter how random they are. ‘I’m gonna regret this.’ You frowned, hesitantly reaching for your touchpad. ‘What am I doing, someone please slap some sense into me right now…’

@treasure006987 donated 150$: “glad i stumbled across your stream… you’re so pretty, can’t wait for the next time you go live.

You cringed at your own comment, exhaustion clouding your mind from such an unholy activity to think of something more original and less corny.

He could be seen squinting his eyes at his monitor. “Aww…” he smiled, “well aren’t you the sweetest thing… you new here, Treasure?”

Your heart skipped, him merely acknowledging your existence brought a giddy smile on your face. “Thanks for the donation! Hope you stick around longer, I promise I’ll be worth your while.” Bringing himself further from the camera once more, he lazily stroked his dick, thumb swirling around the leaking tip as he brought his middle and index before it slipped between his fingers. Your heart swelled in your throat at his next words.

“See this, precious? All for you… all for my Treasure.”

✩

Wooyoung recently introduced an app called Shemu. Another one of those online-shopping megastores that offers everything in such an affordable price by luring people in with the use of pyramid scheming.

“Just another Tein knock-off, they’re probably stealing my personal information as we speak.” You said as you proceeded to add more useless shit to your cart and check-out.

But somehow, your packages always get washed up on address no. 562. You’re 561.

As you ponder this oh-so frustrating predicament, a knock sounds at the door. You opened it to find your neighbor standing there with your latest Shemu package in hand. 

“Hi.” He chuckled.

You groaned, running your hand down your face as you leaned against the door frame. “God, I really am sorry about this, mister…”

“Just call me Hyunjin,” he waved his hand dismissively. “And it really is no trouble. Y/n, right?”

“How’d you know my name?”

Hyunjin fell silent for a few seconds before he cleared his throat. “Well, given that this is the fifth package of yours I’ve received this week, it'd be concerning if I hadn’t known your name by now.” He smiled as you flushed in embarrassment.

“Right! Sorry, and I tried taking care of it, I swear, but every time I rang the courier service they passed me off to different departments…”

Hyunjin hummed in understanding, chewing on his thumbnail while looking down at you as you tried to avoid his piercing gaze. “Don’t worry, I know how terrible that company’s customer service is.” You nodded, gnawing nervously on your left cheek.

As Hyunjin observed you, he can’t help but play a smirk on his lips. ‘She looks so cute like this… makes me wanna pinch her cheeks..’

“How about I help you sort this out, yeah?” He offered. “I can call the courier service for you.”

You blinked, trying to process his words.

“Oh—yeah! Yeah… of course, um, come in,” you opened the door wider, kicking your jacket that was on the floor aside.

“Want anything to drink?”

“Water’s fine.”

You both sat down as he dialed the number for the service. It only took a couple of rings for them to pick up. 

“Hello! You’ve reached customer service at LaserDeliveries Korea. How may I help you?”

“Hi!” Hyunjin started off with a charming greeting as he comfortably leaned back on the chair. “Hope I’m not taking up too much of your precious time. Anyhow, I’ll just get straight to the point,” he smiled, standing up and bringing the phone to his ear. “I am a valued customer who’s sick of your shit tactics for customer service. I’m honestly kinda fed up, you know?

“I hope you don’t mind, you’re free to end the call of course, but I am going to start screaming right in your ear.”

You looked at him, dumbfounded. Is—is he serious? “Um… Hyunjin, I think I can take over—“

“However, if you do wish for me to calm down, I suggest putting me on line with your supervisor right now.” He looked at you, mouthing: ‘I’ll be back’ before stepping out of your apartment.

You blinked. Then blinked again. Your mouth felt dry, genuinely speechless. You clutch the glass between your hands, trying not to let out a fit of chuckles.

After what felt like eternity, Hyunjin finally came back and placed the phone on the table and switched it to speaker. 

“….yes, hello, this is the department manager speaking. I’d first like to formally apologize for the inconvenience….”

- - - -

“I seriously can’t thank you enough, hyunjin.” You smiled gratefully, giving his arm a gentle pat. “I owe you one, let me make it up to you somehow.”

Hyunjin considers for a moment. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned over and lightly brushed his lips against your ear. “How about a date?”

That unexpected question caught you off guard, briefly leaving you speechless as it made your words catch in your throat. “Uh—“

“Kidding!” 

You returned his smile, laughing awkwardly yourself. Some part of you still hoped it wasn’t a joke. “How about a free iced-americano then?” He must’ve already known that you were one of the baristas in that small coffee shop nearby.

“Oh, you really don’t have to—“

“No, really, I insist.” You wanted to at least repay his thoughtfulness somehow considering he went through all that trouble screaming in someone’s ear just to fix your package issue.

Hyunjin took your hand and gave it an appreciative squeeze. “Free iced americano it is.”

You exchanged your goodbyes as he stepped back into his apartment. He plopped himself down on his bed, snatching his mask from the nightstand as he brought it up to fiddle with and observe. “Dumbass, why’d you do that?” Hyunjin groaned and rolled over to his side. “The packages were the only excuse you had to talk to her,” He exclaimed

Why should it matter? He’s getting worked up over nothing. Hyunjin thought back to your surprised and flustered reaction when he jokingly suggested you both go on a date. It was cheesy, stupid, but you were so cute he just couldn’t help it!

After he finishes his gym sessions with Changbin, he’d drop by the cafe you worked at and order the same drink over and over again. Everytime your fingers would brush against his when handing him his cup, he swore one day he may lose his composure.

Receiving your packages has given Hyunjin the first chance to speak with you personally. Of course, he just had to ruin it. 

The first time your package showed up at his doorstep, he didn’t bother reading the label and opened it. Just some milk frother and a few cups, he was pretty confused at first until he read the label. There were also a few make-up products but one item caught his attention specifically:

A lipstick vibrator.

“Ha… I didn’t think she’d turn out to be the naughty type… speaking of, do I still have it?” Yes, he stole it, and yes, it was necessary. Did he have some self-restraint, god no.

It was sitting in his dresser as he placed a battery inside and sat back down on his bed. He held it up and gulped. Hyunjin tried using toys before, it just wasn’t his thing. It didn’t feel as good as the real thing or his hands. 

“Won’t hurt to try something new once in a while…” Hyunjin muttered. He brushed his thumb over the vibrator, the thought of you using it crossed his mind which made his cock twitch inside of his tight jeans. 

He swore quietly, fingers fiddling with the button of his shirt, then his zipper, lifting his hips up to shove his jeans down over his hips. 

One hand slipped inside his boxers to free himself while the other tentatively took hold of the toy again.

“God, am I a pervert now? What am I doing…” 

He grimaced at his actions and sighed. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t — none of that mattered right now when his mind was fogged with thoughts of you.

Hyunjin spat on his palm and slid it up and down on his cock a few times, shuddering at the cold and slick feeling. 

He imagined your sweet voice calling to him as he sucked in a breath, picturing you bent over in front of him, grinding your hips against his. Hyunjin swiped his thumb over his tip, collecting the pre-cum that’s beaded there and dragging it down to mix with his spit.

He can already perfectly picture what you’d look like laid out beneath him with your legs spread out and your pretty pussy on full display, all just for him. 

He switched the toy on, pressing it up against his tip as he moaned from the sudden vibration simulating his dick. 

He scoffed out a laugh followed by a low grunt. “Y/n… I found you… I finally fucking found you.” And he doesn’t intend on losing you again either.

✩ 

Wooyoung squealed, pinching your elbow. “He so wants you.”

You smacked his hand away. “Stop feeding onto my delusions, woo.”

“No no no no—okay, yeah, but listen; why else would he offer to sort out the package thing?”

“‘Cause he’s sick of it showing up at his place?” You said as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, fool. It’s a tactic men like him use as an excuse to get in someone’s pants.”

Unamused by his bullshit, yet again. You told Wooyoung everything that happened yesterday while the both of you squealed like little high school girls.

Your manager, Jihyo, had to actually pop in a few times to tell you both to shut up.

“Stop it, Woo. Don’t make me more delulu than I already am—“

He gasped, subtly trying to slap your arm to get your attention. “Noona, noona, noona—“ he whispered frantically. 

You groaned. “God, what?”

“Pretty boy alert, pretty boy alert—“

“Shit! Where?” You said, just as frantic. You glanced outside to see him approaching the shop with someone as you grabbed onto the collar of Wooyoung’s shirt. “Oh my god, Woo—“

He quickly slapped your hand away. “Don’t touch me, don’t even look at me, and don’t breathe towards my direction. Don’t wanna bring pretty boy’s hopes down, what if he thinks we’re a thing?” 

Hyunjin and the other guy he came with both enter the shop. 

He approached the counter and rolled up the sleeves of his compression shirt. “Hi, y/n.” He leaned his forearms on the counter while looking at you and, fuck, it took all your willpower to not glance down at his toned arms with veins popping attractively against his smooth skin. 

You averted your gaze with difficulty, trying to focus on taking his order. “The usual?”

“You know me so well…” he spoke in an affectionate, almost aegyo-like tone, as he slightly stuck out his bottom lip to seem more cute and charming. He propped his elbow down and rested his chin on his palm. 

“Quit it, you flirt.” His friend shoved Hyunjin away to scan the menu. You recognize him now (mainly due to his bright pink hair) – he’s Choi San from the engineering department. “We need to get back before coach returns from his bathroom break.” San rolled his eyes.

“He sits on the toilet for two hours doing god knows what, we’ll be fine.” Hyunjin replied dismissively with a single flick of his wrist.

“Whatever. Um… I’ll have a mint frappe.” 

Wooyoung suddenly hopped in the conversation and you knew that glint in his eye all too well. The look of: I’m about to drop some shit on someone and no one can stop me.

“That’s so lame. What are you, five? Mint frappe is for virgins.”

You smacked the back of his head, looking at the both of them apologetically. “It’s fine. We go to the same college so I know him.” San scoffed, “He’s all talk but the last time he pulled a bitch was when RiverDale was still good.” Wooyoung was ready to bite back but you sent him a glare which made him hold his tongue.

“Will that be all?”

“And a strawberry shortcake. Please.”

He pulled out his card and you took it gingerly, your fingers trembling ever so slightly as they brushed against his. You couldn’t help but take one last glance at his hands again, admiring the veins that traced subtle patterns just beneath his smooth skin. You quickly averted your eyes, worried that he may notice you literally checking him out as you ran his card through the machine before handing it back.

After you placed the cake in a bag and Wooyoung handed them their drinks, Hyunjin turned to give you a sly wink just before San ushered him away, shaking his head in mild exasperation. 

You tried to suppress the smile that rose unbidden to your lips as you watched them leave.

“He so wants you.” Wooyoung pinched your elbow.

“Shut up.”

✩

Ferret leaned forward, viewers grabbing a glimpse of the way his loose white tank top exposed his beautifully sculpted pecs before he leaned back. With pursed lips, he hummed. “Sorry to disappoint, but I won’t be doing the usual today.” The chat immediately exploded with concerns, assuming he won’t be doing anymore streams. “I have an announcement to make that I’ve been meaning to share with you all for a while now.”

@slut4u donated 100$: “NOOOO ARE YOU GONNA ANNOUNCE YOURE QUITTING?!?!?!”

That made your eyes widen. There’s no way he was quitting. He had his hand over his mouth as he scanned the chat, drawing out a long sigh to give the viewers false hope. “I’m afraid so, my little doves…” he brought his camera higher, only showing his mask. You squint your eyes. 

@treasure006987 donated 90$: “okay, hun. you can drop the act👀 what do you have up your sleeve?”

You hadn’t missed the way his eyes turned into crescents when he brought the camera higher. Ferret lowered the camera again but this time he showcased a mischievous grin. 

“Oh, sweet intelligent Treasure…” you breathed out, relaxing your tensed shoulders before coming to a realization. ‘Why the fuck was I so relieved just now?’

“Okay, fine. You caught me. I know I’ve mentioned a few times on my streams that I can’t really get off by using toys.” His fingers danced along his chest, thumb running over his nipples. He raked a hand through his hair, propping it behind his head to give you a perfect view of his muscular arm. “I decided to bend the rules a bit.”

You heard a faint buzzing sound. He tilted the camera again, showcasing the vibrator in his hand. 

“Especially since this is the second time my Treasure’s come to watch my stream… why not leave a good second impression.”

Your heart fluttered and thumped against your ribcage as you tried not to squeal like a giddy high school girl. With a knuckle caught between your teeth, you watched him roll the tip of the vibrator around the outline of his thick cock laying snug beneath his tight boxers.

“Ohhhh fuckkk…. Treasure…” he muttered, thick with arousal. “Hope you’re—ha..—hope you’re playing with yourself while I get off on you…” shit, was him focusing on only one of his viewers even allowed?

It almost felt like it was a private show, specifically made for you.

- - - 

“Came faster than I expected…” he plastered on an awkward smile as he wiped down his torso. “Still hope that you guys enjoyed it, I’m trying to step out of my comfort zone more.” You tossed the napkins you used to clean your fingers in the nearby bin. “How about this, I’ll make it up to you by staying to chat longer than I usually do. Actually – let me show you something,”

Ferret rummaged around under his desk. “I’m sharing this to give you all false hope for my upcoming streams,” he snickered, pulling out a box full of sex toys. “A friend sent me these. I’m sure you’ve heard of him; shout-out to bbokariix. Make sure to also follow his twitter; he posts NSFW asmr if you’re into that shit. Anyways, thank you riix for – uh –” he dug his hand through and pulled out something from the box. “-- for sending me a purple 16 inch dildo.”

You spat your water out, laughing.

“Along with a note that says: ‘remember to lubricate good’ — Yeah, no. I’m not shoving this shit up my ass. Sorry to disappoint.”

“What do I usually do in my free time? Well, sometimes I do art, mainly painting…” scanning his set as he rambled, you took note of the way he preferred to keep his background pretty plain and clean. Just a normal room with a white sheeted bed at the back and black painted walls, other than that there wasn’t much to look at. You propped the laptop on your lap, bringing the screen closer to inspect what was sitting on his nightstand. 

It wasn’t that you were a creepy sasaeng trying to pinpoint where his exact location was, it just happened to grab your attention. “Wait… are those the cups from our cafe?” Has he been mother fucking Hwang Hyunjin this whole time? You’re gonna feel hella dumb if he actually was. You shook your head. No way. Slim chance, there’s a million coffee shops out there and there are millions of people who just happen to like iced americanos… 

But it wasn’t just that. From his hair to his complexion, it matched Hyunjin’s; fair and almost porcelain, hair that rippled with silk and framed his features beautifully. “Nah,” you said with obvious denial, “his voice is huskier! Right? Yeah, yeah…”

“….I enjoy doing portraits. I recently painted a huge self-portrait of myself. Buuuut… I’d enjoy painting your face white with my cum more.” He winked as you choked on your spit before he moved onto another comment. He really knew his way with words… you almost forgot that this is being streamed on an adult website and not just a casual talk between a streamer and his fans on Instagram or Twitch.

“What did I eat for dinner? Hm…

“does a strawberry shortcake count as dinner?” 

You quickly shut your laptop closed and shoved it off your lap.

“No… there’s no way, right?” You laughed and planted your feet on the floor while you stood as your legs wobbled. “But he’s like… the most innocent guy you’ll meet. Or is he? Fuck, I’m going insane.”

Your rambling was cut short by the sound of your phone ringing.

“Hello?” You spoke and waited for the other line to respond back.

“Hey, girl!” Aya beamed. “You coming to that small get together at that barbecue place tomorrow night, right?”

“No—I mean, what?” You furrowed your brows. Since when was there a get-together? “No one told me about thi—“

“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7, don’t forget to wear something cute cause the hot babes from engineering are gonna be there. See you, darling!”

✩

Both you and Aya arrived at the restaurant and spotted some familiar faces waving over at you. You shuffled your way to their table and claimed a vacant seat.

Chan greeted you with a hug and a small pat on the head. “Hey! Glad you guys can make it.”

“My God, barely!” Aya cried out and plopped down on the space beside you. “Y/n called me over earlier so I can help her pick out an outfit and it took her over an hour to decide on a dress.” She explained. “I got so fed up I just grabbed the closest thing next to me and shoved this bitch in my car.” Chan threw his head back and laughed heartily. His broad shoulders shook with amusement as his dimples can’t help but bring a smile to your face as well.

Your fingers tugged at the hem of your short dress, feeling as though your thighs are too exposed. “I look like a prostitute.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Aya smacked your hand away. “Stop being so conservative like a grandma attending church on a Sunday morning. This is why you’re a virgin.” Her sense of style really clashed with your more modest preferences.

“Yeah, sorry, like, my bad that I don’t wear booty shorts that ride up my crack during winter.” You rolled your eyes.

Chan took a small swig of his drink before hopping back in the conversation. “You should stop playing league of legends with Wooyoung.. You’re starting to sound like him, Aya.” The mention of Wooyoung’s name piqued your interest. His absence was unusual for group gatherings, since usually he’d be the first one there.

“Speaking of, where’s he anyway?” The others shrugged, wondering the same thing regarding the lack of Wooyoung’s loud presence. It was unlike him to miss a get-together.

“San! Over here!”

You craned your neck to greet San but the sight of a specific someone had your heart beating thunderously.

They sat themselves across from you and Chan. Aya was the first to address it,

“Who’s this hottie you brought with you? New kid from your department?”

“Nah. He’s the rookie I met at the gym weeks ago.” San nudged him to go introduce himself. His eyes flickered to yours briefly which set your tummy in a stir.

“Hello, I’m Hyunjin. I just moved here not too long ago.”

Aya suddenly gasped and slapped your thigh which drew their attention to you. “Omg, is that the sexy neighbor you’ve been telling me about—“ she whispered in your ear. You would’ve appreciated it more if she were more subtle. You slapped her thigh back, with gritted teeth you whispered “Shut up!” Your face warmed up and you were tangled with the heat of his gaze.

You took in as much of his face before he buried his nose in the menu.

- - - -

You took another swig from the soju bottle, relishing the familiar burn as the liquid slid down your throat. You felt a slight buzz coming on, a pleasant warmth spreading through your limbs. You giggled at something your classmate said, though you hadn’t really heard them properly. Your thoughts became fuzzier by the minute.

“I think that’s enough drinking for tonight.” SnowFerret — no, Hyunjin said with amusement as you tried to grab another soju but accidentally knocked it over but he instinctively caught the bottle just in time.

Chan’s brows furrowed in concern. “Man… who knew y/n is such a heavy drinker.” He scratched his cheek in thought. “Aya, can you take her home?”

Aya suddenly stood up with an apologetic look on her face. “I’m really sorry but something came up and my girlfriend needed to be picked up from her workplace.” Chan waved a dismissive hand and told her to drive safe as she kissed your drunk state on the forehead and gave Chan a quick side-hug. Before she went to go leave, she flashed you a subtle wink

Hyunjin piped in. “I can take her,” he offered. “We’re neighbors so it’s no trouble at all.” Chan looked relieved, thanking him and turned to you who still sat there in a drunken daze.

“Well, good luck mate, I think you’ll need it.”

- - - -

The elevator doors slid open and he guided you inside, letting you lean against him for support. Your breathing was slow and heavy as the effects of the alcohol continued to weigh on you. As the elevator began its ascent, he glanced down at you who had your eyes closed. The sight tugged at his heartstrings as he wrapped an arm around your waist to steady you.

“So cute…”

When the elevator reached your floor, he gently nudged you. “We’re here.” He whispered with his lips pressed against the shell of your ear. His voice sent shivers down your spine and with hazy eyes and a drunken smile, Hyunjin patted down the pockets of your dress to look for your keys till he received a text notification from San.

Choi San🗻: ‘u left her purse at the restaurant. L stoopid beetch 🍆🍑💦’

“Shit.” He muttered and unlocked the door to his apartment instead. Hyunjin gently helped you onto his bed, propping the pillows behind your back to keep you comfortable. “Wait here, I’ll get you some clothes to change into.”

“Nooo…” you whined and grabbed his collar. “Jush stay heeereee…” pulling him towards you with surprising strength for someone so intoxicated. He lost his balance and stumbled forward, forearm instinctively braced by your head on the pillow while the other found your waist.

His breath hitched as he gazed down at you, taking in your features blurred by drunkenness but still undeniably gorgeous in his eyes. Lush lips slightly parted, eyes heavy-lidded yet full of longing. An aching tenderness welled up within him, yearning to soothe the haze of intoxication with something more lasting and true.

Your arms wound around him, breaths mingled and faces only inches apart. “No? But isn’t this,” he hooked his finger under the strap of your bra, pulled it, and let it slap back against your skin. “Uncomfortable?” You arched your body into his as his words stirred up something in your brain.

You muttered something quietly. Hyunjin leaned forward and brought his face towards your neck to hear you better. “Then take it off for me, why don’t you…” you gave a soft playful giggle then patted his cheek in a patronizing way.

“Fuck, don’t say that.” He said sternly, breathless almost. His fingertips ghosted over the plush of your thigh, trailing it up your dress.

He suddenly stopped. “Sorry, um,” you whined at the lack of his warmth.

“Why’d you stop?”

“You’re drunk.” Though is it directed at you or a reminder to him?

Your thighs clenched, and he took note of that. Hyunjin didn’t wanna take advantage of you while you were still intoxicated. You can’t recall a time you’ve been this horny and it’s over your own neighbor. Your hand landed on his chest and dropped to his abdomen. “Don’t…” you slurred, feeling his firm abs underneath your fingers felt like an electric current snapping all the way to your thighs.

The alcohol then spoke for you. “I know your secret.” He cradled your cheek in his hand and ignored the way the uncomfortable tent in his pants pressed up against your leg.

“Is that so?”

You hummed. “You’re this guy… this guy I follow. He has this, um, wackass Duolingo generated name,” you snapped your fingers, trying to remember.

“Yeah?” Before he could process what was happening, your lips were suddenly on his. He made no effort to resist nor pull away as he even tugged you insistently closer. Your mouths slanted together hungrily, your other hand running up his nape and tangling in his hair. Hyunjin could taste the remnants of the alcohol on your tongue but underneath it was the unmistakable flavour of yourself — it also intoxicated him, in an entirely different way.

Yielding to the kiss, Hyunjin shifted, so that his knee was pressed up against your heat. You made a tiny noise and moaned against his lips. “SnowFerret.” He stopped and pulled back slightly to look at you.

“What?”

“You’re SnowFerret,” You repeated.

He showed no signs of surprise or discomfort despite the cat being out of the bag. He plastered on no outward reaction but his thoughts were racing along with the fast thump of his heart. “Am I now?”

There will be time for confrontation later, for now he simply savoured the intimacy of the moment. Leaning once more, he kissed you tenderly, relishing the feel of your soft lips.

One hand tangled in your hair while the other held your waist firmly against his. You grasped his shirt as your tongues fought against each other. “You’re a fan, huh… you enjoy my content, baby? You enjoy watching me fuck my own fist?” Your legs wrapped around his waist, drawing him impossibly closer as he softly sucked on your lower lip.

“Wanna know another secret?

“I can never stream without having you in my thoughts like a fucking plague.” Hyunjin whispered between kisses along your jaw and down your neck, leaving a trail of heat wherever his lips touched, nipping softly at your pulse point which drew a gasp from your lips. “You know,” he whispered into your skin as his thumb flicked your hardened nipple through the thin fabric of dress, sending shivers down your spine.

“I hate you for leaving me.” He caught himself before going any further as he groaned in frustration and raked his nails on the bed sheets.

Hyunjin lifted himself up to gaze into your half-lidded eyes still clouded from the alcohol. He wanted to say so much, but he knew that in your current state his words might seem confusing. That was the point. He hoped that you’d forget everything by morning.

"I hate you for making me think you'd come back.”

His thumb stroked over your lips as if tracing the curve of each syllable. "I hate you for making me so insane about everything about you, that all these years I couldn’t think of anything else but to feel these lips again.

“I even hate myself for still wanting you after all this time,” he scoffed out a laugh.

“I hate you. But good luck getting rid of me.”

a.n: ok, this isnt the ceo hyun fic i promised but yk what?

🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️💨💨

also, one scene inspired by the manhwa called full volume. not proofread.

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Jax and tired!fem!reader scenario

Hey guys and welcome to a scenario for the indie animation that has shaken up Youtube, The Amazing Digital Circus! If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it! :) Special thanks to @thejester0897 , @ceoofdabicorpsensfw , and @selineram3421 for providing feedback and suggestions! If you would like me to write more TADC content please let me know in the comments section on here or on my other blog, @forbidden-sunlight.

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and let's see what's going today in the digital plane! :)

The adventures around the Amazing Digital Circus are stimulating and keep everyone from going insane, least according to Ragatha.

For you, though, there was nothing better than to end the completion of an adventure than taking a nap before going to find something to eat. Even when you required neither sleep or food, it was important to keep a routine.

Kaufmo had learned the hard way to not disturb you during your naptime, may his abstracted soul rest in peace. 

The only one who didn’t seem to get the memo was the residential asshat, Jax. Why? Well, unfortunately, you decided to give him one chance at this…whole romance thing with him.

For the record, you had no idea that Jax saw you as anything beyond being a fellow member of the circus, another person to prank on. So, imagine your surprise when he said that he liked your company in a round-about fashion. Or did he push you in one of the empty rooms and pinned you to the floor before stealing a kiss with that cheeky grin of his?

Eh, you couldn’t remember right now. 

You just wanted to close your eyes and take your mind off of things for a little while. Closing the door behind you, you slipped off your shoes and crawled on top of your bed. You were too tired to pull the sheets over you. Exhaustion swept over your legs and spine, your mind was throbbing from an oncoming migraine. Then you fell asleep. 

Clank.

“Hey dollface. Got room for one more?” 

Argh. 

Almost. 

You didn’t bother turning around to face the rabbit. “Bugger off, Jax. Not in the mood.”  You heard him chuckle, followed by the door being closed with a low click. You had hoped that he took the hint and actually left, but this is Jax. He won’t leave until he riles someone up for the sake of his own amusement. You curled your body into a small ball, anticipating him putting some centipedes on your bed like he did with Ragatha countless times. Instead, you felt the bed dip to one side, before an arm snaked around your waist, pulling you in. Jax buried his face in the back of your neck, his hot breath ending a small shudder crawling down your spine. 

“....What are you doing?”

“C’mon, can’t a guy spend some time with his gal? I barely got any today ‘cause you were hangin’ with Crybaby and Whoha.” 

You rolled your eyes. He might try to sound indifferent to the fact that he could care less about how you interacted with the other troupe members besides himself, you knew Jax liked being the center of attention. Well, your attention, that is. Knowing actions spoke louder than words with this jealous rabbit, you placed your hand on top of the one that was rested against your middle. 

“Quiet. Lemme rest or I’m kicking you out and taking away your key to my room.” 

Jax gasped dramatically in your ear. “You’d do that to the love of your life? You’re so mean!”

“Keep pushing your luck and you’ll find out sooner than you think.” You grumbled. “Now hush. Let me enjoy this cuddling session with my eyes closed.”

“I don’t think this qualifies as a cuddlin’ session when it’s one person doing all the work.” 

“Jax.”

“Fine, fine. Shuttin’ up. But I want a smooch when you wake up. Not one of those quick ones on the cheek, either. A nice, big, sweet one on the lips.” You almost jumped out of his grasp when you felt his mouth press a light kiss on your shoulder. “Night, night, toots.” 

It was a good thing that he couldn’t see your face right now or else you would kick the little rascal to save what little dignity you had left as a member of the Amazing Digital Circus who had the misfortune of being Jax’s sweetheart. Inhaling a deep breath, you try to calm your hammering heart and relax in the rabbit’s arms, to allow your mind to get lost in the void of blissful darkness if only for a brief moment in this wacky world that’s slowly driving you to the brink of madness. 

[l0viez]

Back again with another dumbass "imagine sagau fics"

Im going crazy either way its fine. Anyways imagine having MEGAN in a Sagau fanfic lmao, (if you havent watched the movie yet , i 97% recommend!)

SAGAU ;

Imagine having MEGAN as a gift or just a comfort "toy" to have gifted by someone and ever since that day you guys became like twins , technically glued to eachother☠️

Being in a SAGAU with MEGAN is like having a bulletproof bodyguard

Devoted Followers, Vessels, Personal Bodygaurd, Worshipper Who??? I only know MEGAN

Whenever theres someone trying to attack you aka their "grace" , MEGAN will slice their throat in half in like 0.1 faster than xiao teleporting to traveller whenever they call his name/hj

Your "followers" in teyvat WILL glare at MEGAN and if you tell them to leave MEGAN alone MEGAN will smirk at them like "I win btch" but if you just brush it off or like laugh it off MEGAN will death glare at them back

MEGAN has the "grace's right hand" privileges, Shes like your co-worker or vice-president or sum LMAO

The non humans (yk like Archons,, Venti, Zhongli, Ei, Xiao, Ganyu, and etc) would be like salty or envy over the fact you hang out with MEGAN and has more trust on MEGAN than them, like they has been worshipping you for what?? 99999+ years, centuries?? what did that "doll" do to gain your attention like that??😦

I feel like the ones that would accept MEGAN whole heartedly and would love her /p is the childrens or the teens,, if that makes sense😭 ! (Klee, Diona, Qiqi, Sayu, YaoYao, Dori, Xiangling, Noelle, Collei, Fischl, Bennet and more)

Since MEGAN has that fighting skills noelle would probably ask MEGAN for some advice so she can be apart of the KOF (as usual) ! and MEGAN would use her "robotic skills" and just give out noelle the whole description on how to fight and stuff it probs took like 3-6hours for MEGAN to finish bc noelle wants to know alot😭

It would be more cooler if like MEGAN plays genshin or like knows all the lore and characters (the power she holds☠️)

Whenever you sneak out, go on a meeting, went out to buy some stuff , went to travel you bet your ass MEGAN will be beside u 24/7 even if the mobs dont attack you MEGAN would still be on gaurd to make sure nothing harms you

MEGAN would play some songs back in your world if you feel stressed out by the work and responsibilities

MEGAN would make a deal with the fatui or the abyss to secretly spy on you where ever or whenever you go (its not like you will leave without her🫣!!!)

MEGAN gives me that platonic yandere vibes so if you ever have "secret admirers" , MEGAN would scan that letter properly and find your admirers house and "talk" to them nicely to stop bothering you

MEGAN would have that resting bitch face on 24/7 but whenever you talk to her she would look so bubbly and nice, but whenever your not around shes so close on choking the people that has been "eyeing" you whenever you breathe, theyre lucky that you told MEGAN to not harm anyone

MEGAN wouldnt give a damn fck about visions, like she would think its useless but the fatui would give her a delusion either way😭👆🏻 (you requested it)

MEGAN would find a way to either destory teyvat or make a portal to make you both go back home cause she doesnt plan on sharing you with anyone any time soon shes only having thin patience around these mfs , but she has to play nice for now😄‼️

IMPOSTER AU! SAGAU ;

you both somehow got teleported in genshin, idk how maybe MEGAN like heard you say you wanted to go to teyvat and MEGAN is like "im a robot i can do technology i can do portal shit lets go"

so now here you both are, eating soup in a small little camp and some fruit giving by some monsters you two met along the way! isnt that nice:')))

You had abit of wound, you were thinking you would have more wound than the wounds you got but suprise suprise MEGAN protected your sorry ass

looks like MEGAN has to train harder but good thing she still have some tricks on her sleeves

MEGAN doesnt mind threatening off a few "side characters" so you two would survive

MEGAN would send death threats to the "creator//the real imposter" and she would have it in like some of the archon's handwriting without signing (bc in the movie she managed to make a masterpiece of a drawing like zamn😭)

MEGAN would give out fake informations and will say its from the "creator//the real imposter" so they would believe it but it will take like a 1-2 year from them to realized that someone has been spreading fake informations

MEGAN would sneak in the academy and do some chaos in any technology plans they have just to make distractions and give you time to get like items you both might need

If the fatuis know your the real creator and take you both in, MEGAN would only help out the fatuis by giving out personal informations of other characters that they call themselves "devoted worshippers"

MEGAN would probably be great friends with Sandrone & scaramouche

MEGAN would be "friendly friendly" with dottore just to get more technology uses😭

MEGAN has thoughts on just beating the shit out of childe (and probably dottore) but she choose not because she doesnt have time to play around with "childe-rens" and has to be by your side 24/7

but If the abyss finds you both first

ofc they would take you both in and MEGAN would also share some tips or advice to defeat those vision users

The abyss sibling would ask your permission to take MEGAN with them from time to time to set out their plan on destorying teyvet and the people who wronged you

MEGAN was abit hesitant at first cause like,, leaving you alone with the abyss? Naur..

But then you insisted that MEGAN should go with aether (also so you can go explore the abyss abit without MEGAN breathing behind your neck😭)

MEGAN would be a trump card for the abyss like if the traveller sees their abyss sibiling with MEGAN, MEGAN would glare at them, if glaring can kill people traveller would have been dead already

and if traveler shares what he saw when he saw his sibiling to like,, someone they would probably go like "yo wait isnt that the kid with the imposter?!"

If people in teyvat finally get to their senses that the "creator" in the throne is the real imposter

they would hunt you and MEGAN down (again) but with "good intentions"

you and MEGAN would troll these bitches

MEGAN would sing creepy songs while theyre haunting at the dark

you and MEGAN will only go out at night but if theres a squad looking for you both

MEGAN would be hella overprotective and going infront of you with her weapon out while glaring at them

"Your grace!"

"Tsk. little bugs like you shouldn't show yourself infront of your "grace""

MEGAN wouldn't HESITATE too ROAST them.

and you would be laughing inside bc of it too

if ever you get recrowned as the "creator" and the real imposter gets jailed up

MEGAN will TOTURE that bitch whenever your sleeping

those "devoted followers" of yours would look at MEGAN and be like

"damn i wish i was her"

MEGAN will be your loyal bodyguard and right hand

why would you need those people when you have MEGAN who sticked with you even when you were still so young?

like you would have the largest trust issues with stuff like imagine

"(maid/bulter's name), please call zhongli."

"yes your grace!"

"yes your grace, you called?"

"please call MEGAN."

"a-"

like 😭😭😭YOU DONT WANT ANYTHING FROM THE PPL IN TEYVAT

and even if the real imposter comes back and claims their the real creator , MEGAN would know their bullshitting bc she has that scanner stuff😭‼️

MEGAN will always protect you from any harm and if something even touch you without your permission, their hand is getting cutted off

"MEGAN.. Was that really necessary..?"

"Of course, Its also my duty to make you comfortable at any time _____"

"Right,, but you didn—"

"Shush now, silly _____! I was only protecting you after all we're best friends aren't we?"

Que that person whos trynna touch you screaming in pain in the background🤭‼️

Have this shitty azz drawing❤️Goodbye xoxo

[thinkingaboutbetterdays]

thundermans at war. ( max thunderman x reader )

gif belongs to me

There had been many occasions when Phoebe remarked that your relationship with her twin made her feel like your time was not split equally. If you were talking to Cherry and Phoebe, Max appeared, and the two of you would leave to spend time together, and even in school, you and Max were glued to each other until Phoebe had to force you both to let go of each other hands, so you weren't late for class.

You had liked Max for a while and were surprised when he approached you at your locker one afternoon and asked you out on a date, not wanting his sister to know yet. So you kept things quiet until Phoebe discovered you had cancelled plans with her and Cherry to spend time with Max, and by then, you knew it was no longer a crush and in fact, reciprocated love that was worth the year-long wait.

Lately, however, you began to realize just how much time you have missed spending with your best friends, who hadn't asked you to go shopping with them, knowing what the answer would be. And you felt guilty for forgetting that you were Phoebe's friend first and her twin's girlfriend second. But you were determined to fix your strained friendships.

One evening while baking in the kitchen while Phoebe chose a movie in the living room, Max came upstairs, surprised to see you but pleased as well. "Hey, I didn't know you were coming over." He rested his arms on the countertop, sending you a smile. "Why don't we ditch the geeks and -"

"It's movie night." You told him, placing cookies on a plate. "Girls only."

"Yeah, Max." Phoebe appeared, crossing her arms. "Girls only."

You handed him a cookie, kissing his cheek before following Phoebe and Cherry to the sofa, smiling as you listened to your blonde friend talk excitedly about the movie she had recommended.

You thought you were doing the right thing, accepting every invitation to hang out with your friends, trying to gain lost time. However, you realize that it only pushed someone else away. And as you watched anxiously as Max and Phoebe argued about how selfish the other was, you knew you had to choose. The boy you had a crush on from the moment he said hello, or the girl you had bonded with instantly, quirks and all.

"What is your problem, Max?"

"You keep stealing my girlfriend!"

"No, you keep stealing, my friend!"

The two got closer as they argued while Cherry stood awkwardly at the side, glancing between the twins who, while had never been overly friendly, had never argued like this before. And you were the cause.

Not knowing what else to do, you screamed to get their attention, and the room went silent. You looked at the twins with teary eyes, "Stop! Just stop fighting!"

"She started it!" Max gestured to Phoebe, who had told him to leave after interrupting the slumber party.

"No, you did!"

You shook your head, "I can't take it anymore." You turned to quickly gather your things, placing them into your bag haphazardly and heading to the door as the twins followed.

"Woah, woah, woah." Max caught up to you, inserting himself between you and the door, blocking your exit. "Tell her that you want to hang out with me. She'll have to deal with it."

You shook your head, "I tried to spend time with you both but it seems that every time I try, you end up fighting, and I can't do it anymore. I can't -" You swallowed the lump in your throat as you met his gaze, which showed he was starting to understand what was happening. "I can't be your girlfriend anymore."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"I'm sorry." You looked over your shoulder at Phoebe, who stood frozen in shock, realizing you weren't only breaking up with her brother but ending your friendship. "I care about you both so much, and I can't watch you fight like this. So, I'm getting rid of the problem."

Max was floored, making your escape swift until he followed you outside. "Wait! Wait, hold on!" He gently grabbed your arm, and you turned to look at your boyfriend of eight months, who braced the pouring rain in his pajamas, his eyes desperately seeking answers in yours. "You want us to stop fighting? We'll stop fighting! There problem solved -"

"No, it isn't, Max." You felt the rain washing away your tears as you stepped forward to place a hand on his cheek, kissing him tenderly for a moment before moving away. "I'm really sorry." Your voice cracked as you turned and walked away.

Phoebe stared at the door until her brother returned minutes later, rain dripping down his hair, his clothes soaked from the rain, and his downcast expression told her all she needed to know. Max walked towards the steps of his lair, and Phoebe stepped forward, calling out, "Max, I'm -" The sound of his door slamming quickly made her fall silent, and Phoebe no longer felt in the slumber party mood.

At school the following week, Cherry continued to speak to you when she was alone and passed on messages from Phoebe, who was starting to see how much Max cared about you. She was dubious about his intentions initially, not wanting you to get hurt, but Max truly cared about you, and she could see that it was her all along that refused to accept your relationship. And she knew she had to fix it because she preferred annoying Max to Max, who did nothing but sulk, and she missed your excellent advice that had gotten her out of more situations than you knew.

Phoebe knew she had to mend your relationship with Max, who hadn't said anything all week. And she needed Cherry's help to do it.

You entered Wong's and scanned the crowd, looking for your blonde friend who waved excitedly at you from her booth. You smiled as you walked over, sighing as you took a seat. "Hey, Cherry."

Anyone could see that this past week was taking its toll on you. Trying to keep your distance from Max when he looked your way or when Phoebe would relay messages through Cherry, who knew how much you missed the twins, was hard. But you would endure it if it meant the siblings returned to their old ways instead of looking like they wanted to freeze or blast each other with fire.

"Hey, give me a second, and I'll get us some menus." She left the booth, and you were confused as two menus were on the table.

"Uh, Cher, there is -" You paused when Max swiftly took her seat.

You looked at Cherry, who sent you an apologetic look, "Sorry, Y/N." She walked away while you looked at Max, joining Phoebe in another booth.

"We need to talk." Before you could speak, he continued, "You were right." You lowered your gaze to the table as he spoke. "We were only thinking of ourselves and not considering your feelings. I shouldn't have taken over your time with your friends, and Phoebe shouldn't have been jealous that you were visiting the house to see me, not her. I get it - we get it." You met his gaze when he leaned his arms on the table. "So, can we just forget the past week never happened and -"

"I can't." You swallowed the lump in your throat, blinking away the tears in your eyes.

"Why not?" Max gestured with his hands, sitting back.

"Because no matter what happens, I'll always feel guilty for spending time with Phoebe o-or spending time with you. Max, I've waited to be your girlfriend for so long, but I would never have met you if I hadn't met Phoebe. And all I did was get between you."

"You didn't get between us. We argued anyway."

The corner of your lips curves upwards, but you quickly hide it. "I know. I heard it." You sighed when he looked defeated. "That's not the point, and you know it."

"Then tell me what I have to do."

"Max -"

"I love you." He declared, silencing you as he held your gaze. "And I haven't felt like this about anyone else. I know I never will. I just - I know it."

You glanced away when a tear fell down your cheek, "I love you too."

He reached for your hand, and you looked at your joined hands for a moment before meeting his pleading gaze. "So let's try again. And Phoebe will have to deal with the fact that you like my company more."

You knew from the smirk growing on his lips that he was trying to lighten the mood and shook your head, unable to hold back a giggle at the mischief in his eyes. "I never said that."

He would have dramatically placed a hand over his chest in mock offense but was determined to start again. "Can we try? I swear that I won't interrupt your girls' nights."

"And I won't make you feel guilty if you have plans with Max." Phoebe appeared with Cherry, who observed anxiously.

You looked at your friends and then at Max, who relaxed a little when he saw your lips form a smile. You nodded, "Okay."

"Yay!" Cherry grinned when Phoebe hugged you, and you closed your eyes, smiling as you looked over your shoulder at Max, who brought you into his arms.

Phoebe rolled her eyes, although the smile on her lips was so broad that the corner of her eyes was crinkled. Max kissed your forehead when you wrapped your arms around his waist. You gently swatted his chest when he grinned at his sister victoriously over his shoulder.

"Do you want to come over and watch a movie?" The twins invited you at the same time.

You raised an eyebrow when they glanced at each other. "That sounds lovely." You said. "A quartet."

Max looked at Phoebe, both grimacing at the thought of spending time together. He looked down at you, and a smile grew on his lips. "Yeah, it does."

"I have so much I have to tell you!" Phoebe stood on your left while Max walked alongside your right side, his arm around you while the group left Wongs.

"No one cares." Max coughed into his hand, and you nudged him with your elbow, smiling as the two began to bicker as they used to with no powers involved.

You listened to them bicker over the movie you planned to watch later. Max favored a horror movie, wiggling his eyebrows when he mentioned you being scared and needing comfort. Phoebe favored a romantic movie instead, and you placed your arms around their shoulders with a smile.

"I have time for both."

Phoebe smiled as she and Cherry walked beside you and Max, close enough to be part of a group yet enough distance that you and Max could whisper without them overhearing.

You smiled when he kissed your cheek, turning your head to meet his lips and placing a hand on his cheek as he smiled.

"Yeah, the kissing will take getting used to," Phoebe said.

"That won't take long." Max leaned down to kiss you again, and you giggled against his lips, knowing he was trying to upset his sister.

He pouted when you pulled away, but it was quickly replaced with a grin when you whispered in his ear. "Later."

He placed an arm around your shoulders, and you held his hand that dangled off your shoulder, leaning into him as you walked. You knew that this time around, it would all work out. You could feel it.

[ozzgin]

Dear Ozzgin,

Is your new addition to the repertoire, the yandere android, a Mixture of Experts like GPT-4.5, or something else entirely? Would his performance / 'humanness' degrade if he were talking to another machine (an inhuman one, not designed to be Spacer-ly human) for a long time?

Any random lorebits on Spacers you did not include but would have had you felt less constrained?

Hah, okay, I see you've gotten into the technical aspects. I'm about to go on a ramble so I'll do a cut here for everyone else to not clog your feeds. Feel free to read if you're into this kind of stuff. :D

First, I just wanted to point this out because I've read your hashtags and comment: the CCD sensors were a bit of an asspull because it's one thing I'm more knowledgeable about, but I don't feel like it'd be a realistic choice, if I am to be nitpicky. They're expensive to produce and are mostly used for really high performance work (telescopes), but a humanoid robot wouldn't need such advanced digital imaging for daily life use. So, you know, it's arguable whether or not there are better alternatives when it comes to a mass-produced agent processing the immediate environment.

Now to your actual question: I've used the machine learning approach because this is currently our most advanced way of developing AI, but it would not be enough to explain the Android's perfect understanding of human speech. ChatGPT analyzes sentences and their meaning purely based on grammar and associations, but there's many examples of it struggling against anything more intricate than literal context. So yeah, that kind of sarcastic dialogue and implied meaning is wishful thinking of times far away sadly. I'm only wildly guessing he wouldn't struggle with today's impediments. There's a black box somewhere in there that fills the gaps and variables we don't have.

If at some point you find yourself with time to spare, I'd recommend reading the book directly. It's very interesting to see how people viewed the "future" back then, and you will detect a lot of optimism regarding computers - such as Daneel (the original Android) being a flawless human. Funnily enough, the book was published shortly before the Dartmouth Conference, so Asimov was this close to discover that language recognition is, in fact, a terribly tangled business and not as simple as they had originally expected.

I think I covered the basics when it comes to Spacers, but then again I cannot tell how easy it is to follow for someone that isn't familiar with the original work. I also didn't want to reproduce every fact, mot a mot, from Caves of Steel, especially since this is less about politics and more about romance. I'd suspect the people reading the story are not too bothered by the only briefly mentioned murder. Cause is less important when the effect is a tall robot boy with a crush on you 👀 if you feel me.

Anyways, I'm very glad you like the story, every now and then I'll insert little facts and technical details - as it usually is when you study Physics and CS but have no friends in the field - so it's definitely nice to have someone recognize the stuff! :)

[joe-spookyy]

asks you about american werewolf in london

hoooly shit it’s finally happened. someone asked me The question. thanks anon.

i am now going to try and sell you all on this movie cause i can’t recommend it enough and i think everyone should watch it. so: let me tell you a thing or two about hit 1981 horror comedy an american werewolf in london!!! and this is off the top of my head so if any of it is slightly off numbers wise im sorry. if you like 80s horror, men, queercoding, re-animator, the thing, jaws, saw, the lost boys, or just werewolves in general. hear me out on this one. link included to watch.

The Premise:

fresh off the heels of his cocaine fueled jazz musical masterpiece The Blues Brothers (1980), director john landis decided he was going to cook up the greatest film ever made. and he did. he was actually gonna have john belushi (jake blues) and dan akyroyd (elwood blues and yes the ghostbuster) play the two main characters, david kessler and jack goodman. now, who are these fellas? well i’m so glad you asked. david (played by david naughton) and jack (played by griffin dunne) are two dear pals from new york on a cute little backpacking trip across europe. david's the tall one. he's silly and gleeful to be out and about. jack is the short one. he's very much not gleeful about the fact that they're on the rainy moors and wishes they were in rome. together they find their way to a cute little pub and go inside, looking for hot drinks. the locals do not love this. they also do not love when jack asks them why there's a five pointed star on the wall (since lon chaney and universal studios assert that that's the mark of the wolfman!) it gets awkward. so they leave, with nothing but the warning to stay off the moors, stick to the roads, and beware of the moon. obviously, they do not follow this. wouldn't make for a very interesting movie if they did. and, as i'm sure you've assumed, they encounter a werewolf, leaving jack like this (dead):

and david, who survived the attack, with the curse of the werewolf. but fear not! david is transported to a hospital where he makes a lovely recovery, and jack um. well he stays dead. but he comes back to haunt david! he shows up a few more times in further states of decay to tell david that he really ought to just kill himself so that the curse is broken, jack and all the other werewolf victims can rest in peace, and david won't accidentally maul any additional civilians as a werewolf. hey while we're talking about jack heres me when i dressed up as him at a horror con. and the man himself.

anyways. hijinks ensue, and you're taken on a delightful romp across 97 minutes of fun as david tries to navigate life as... you guessed it. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON!

why it rules:

in my opinion, that's enough to make this movie flames as fuck. but if you're not convinced yet? let me tell you some more. first off. the practical effects on this bad boy are straight up excellent. they're done by my personal favorite vfx artist rick baker (who also worked on star wars, men in black, videodrome, king kong and more!), and he does not hold back. the picture of jack shows how nasty and detailed the wound is pretty well, but in action it's even better with all the nasty fleshy bits dangling and wiggling and eugh. it's gross. but it's so well done. and he does a terrific job showing how jack decays throughout the rest of the movie. but of course, what really matters is the werewolf. it's not called an american dead guy in london. which is good. cause that would be a dumb name for a movie. anyways. if we’re going to talk about the werewolf, we have to start with the iconic transformation scene. sped up.

wow! pretty impressive stuff right? it’s all practical, no cgi, and i think the way it’s almost drawn out and the relative silence of the scene adds to the impact it has, since it sort of forces the audience to sit with and feel just a little bit of the discomfort that david seems to be feeling. we just have to watch him scream in pain and beg for mercy. yeesh. now, the transformation scene is hard to top. but i think the final werewolf design is actually pretty solid. it’s distinctly not man, but it’s also distinctly not wolf. i would include a picture, but i feel like part of the allure of the film is how it (jaws style) doesn’t really let you get a good look at the monster itself until the end of the movie. it’s a great way to build the tension and leave a little bit up to the audience’s interpretation. and the audience will always imagine something way more horrible than you could have ever created. which is kind of beautiful. the first time i watched, i found myself kind of disappointed in the werewolf’s appearance - its face seemed to be stuck in a sort of permanent scowl. i was kind of lost, because i couldn’t imagine why a static face had won out over whatever the vfx team was clearly capable of making. but Oh. dear reader. when nurse alex price, david’s dear love, who cared for him in the hospital, allowed him to live with her, and even banged him, approaches the wolf. when she tells david she loves him. the wolf’s eyes soften. it begins to drop the snarl. see. i lied here’s part of the wolf. all snarly like and scary. before it melts at three simple words from alex. god.

it hits me like a huge truck every single time. rick baker never misses and this movie was certainly not an exception. he got an academy award for it and it was well deserved.

not so into the technical stuff? that’s okay. i have more to praise about this movie. it is one of the best blends of horror and comedy that i’ve ever encountered. although some of it looks a little dated, i do think it maintains its fear factor. it’s plenty gory, and in my humble opinion, the subway scene (you’ll know it when you see it) is one of the most effective bits of horror i’ve ever encountered. even when isolated from the film, it still packs a punch. but i’m not gonna put it here because i want you to just watch it with the rest of the movie. sorry. and on top of the horror, it’s honestly hilarious. if you don’t think seven dead people ganging up on one dude and listing ways he should kill himself in the middle of a porn theater while a porno plays very loudly in the background. well. i don’t know what to tell you. you probably won’t like this movie that much. also, the final needle drop over the credits at the end is so abrupt and so funny. love it.

and of course, being an 80s horror movie with two male leads. i’m sure you can guess what i’m going to say. it is not hard to read jack and david as friends, but it’s also not very difficult to read them as having a little something going on. like love. fellas is it gay to go on a little trip across england with just yoh and your best bro? hard to say. textually, i do think it’s kind of telling that every time jack shows up, it’s either right after or while david is having a heterosexual experience (flirting with alex, banging alex, watching straight porn in the porn theater.) it’s almost like… something other than jack… is haunting david. i dunno. i’m not a cop. but it’s interesting. seems like something the average tumblr user might like to keep an eye on, so i’m letting you know. also they have a conversation while david is completely naked which is like. hello. plus the inherent queerness of the werewolf narrative is something i could talk about for HOURS and was especially prevalent, alongside vampire movies. in the 80s during the aids crisis.

also, there’s a classic john landis third act car crash scene, where, in the same vein as the blues brothers, an obscene amount of cars are absolutely demolished.

also also, the muppets make a brief appearance in this movie. this made me jump for joy, because i love the muppets. and you should too.

fun and true facts

still not sold? well, check out this last ditch effort in the form of fun facts. or, if you just want to know more, read on.

micheal jackson was so impressed by the effects in this movie, particularly the transformation scene, that after seeing it, he promptly hired rock baker (vfx guy) and john landis (director guy) to work on the music video for his hit song thriller. you’ve probably seen it, but if not, go watch it. tbh, even if you have seen it before, go watch it again.

david naughton was a doctor pepper spokesman before the filming of this movie. he was in at least a few bits of promotional material, including at least one commercial. unfortunately he lost the job because of the amount of time he spent dick out in this movie. doctor pepper did not want that to be the representation of their brand. cowards, the lot of them.

speaking of his dick, you actually never fully see it at any point in the movie despite the fact that it seems they never felt like telling david to wear pants on set. there is a reason for this! david (character) is jewish and canonically circumcised (dunno how else to put it) and david (actor) is neither of these things. so, to avoid ruining the realism in his. werewolf movie. john landis took great care to never show the whole thing.

the american ambassador who visits david in the hospital is played by frank oz, who also voices miss piggy. because of her brief cameo, he technically plays two different roles in this movie, although miss piggy is simply credited as “Herself” in the end credits of the movie. he also voices yoda which isn’t relevant but it is really funny to me.

see you next wednesday, which is the name of the porno in the movie, is actually a fun john landis easter egg! many of his movies include the phrase “see you next wednesday.” it’s also seen on posters in the subway scene.

in the scene where jack first visits david in the hospital, he was supposed to take a bite of david’s toast, after which it would immediately fall out of his ruined and torn to shreds throat. however, it was cut for being too gross. which is sad i feel like it could have been funny.

when david calls home to talk to his parents, he mentions two siblings: rachel and max. these are the names of the directors children in real life.

griffin dunne, who plays jack, also appears as the family therapist in a season 2 episode of succession. this was a jumpscare.

while they were filming the naked in the zoo scenes, they were unable to actually close the zoo, so when filming carried on past the opening time of the park, they just kept going and allowed butt naked david naughton to run loose around the zoo. they did, however, succeed in closing piccadilly circus for the car crash scene.

in the beginning when jack is being attacked by the werewolf, it was in fact half a wolf prop on the front of a wheelbarrow. this is a very funny vision for me.

jack is right - the five pointed star is considered the mark of the wolfman, according to 1941’s The Wolf Man, played by lon chaney junior and produced by universal pictures. the guy knows his stuff. interestingly, rick baker did the makeup for the 2010 remake of the wolf man as well. he did pretty good, i think.

this isn’t even about this movie but blues brothers is an awesome film too and a fun fact about that one is there was a whole part of the budget devoted to buying cocaine. and you can tell. great movie.

director john landis did in fact kill three people the year after this movie came out. so. i do feel a little bad promoting it because jesus christ. but. no harm no foul in pirating it. it’s one easy internet archive search away. and sometimes it’s on tubi. but just in case, here’s the internet archive link. https://archive.org/details/an-american-werewolf-in-london

so. anyways. please check out this baller ass movie and talk to me about it. thank you so much to whoever asked this. i love you. thanks for reading. bye.

[mouseymilkovich]

hiii! can i request a luca x fem!reader one shot where the reader is Carmy & Sugar's little sister & the reader has to show luca around the city of chicago? They end up going to the reader's favorite spots & ends up showing him her apartment & he spends the night? The reade knows Carmy would be mad (he's really overprotective) at his little sister, but mostly mad at Luca when he finds out??

CUTE CUTE CUTE oh my god Carmy would be piiiissed lmao

Sights & Fights | Luca x Reader | One Shot

Content Tags: mostly just Carmy being Carmy

A/N: some of these things in chicago are things i have actually done YEEHAW including barraco's their pizza is delicious if you go to chicago i recommend

Baby Berzatto, that's what you'd been known as most of your life, being the youngest of your siblings, and since Carmy as a toddler had only called you "baby" rather than your name. Unsurprisingly, you'd followed in the footsteps of your two older brothers, with a love for food.

Carmy had always secretly resented that Mikey let you work at The Beef and not him. While you had recently resented that Mikey left Carmy The Beef in his will. Still, you and Carmy were learning to co-exist in the restaurant your brother had left behind. And part of that coexistence was coming to terms with Carmy being your boss, whether you liked it or not.

When Mikey ran The Beef, he'd more or less treated you like his equal, but Carmy didn't. Sydney was his second in command, and that made your blood boil. But you couldn't quit, you didn't want to quit, it would cause yet another rift in the Berzatto family that you didn't need. So, you always did as Carmy asked, no matter how annoying.

Today's task was to show an old friend of his around Chicago and keep him busy. Carmy couldn't hang out with him until tomorrow, when they were going to Ever, without you. The old friend in question was chef Luca, who Carmy had originally worked with in Copenhagen at Noma. You'd never met him, much less seen him, so while you waited at the airport, the only description you were given was a "tall blonde man with tattoos" from Carmy.

Of course, Carmy had left out the fact that the chef in question was incredibly handsome.

"You must be Baby Berzatto." Luca greeted politely as he came to you, noticing the sign you were holding with his name on it.

"Yep, that's me. I see Carm told you the nickname..." You muttered with a little laugh.

"Yeah. I know why they call you Baby, and why they call your older sister Sugar." He muttered with a soft chuckle.

You took him to baggage claim, and got made sure he got set up in his Airbnb before you set out for your tour.

For being one of Carmy's friends, you found Luca oddly charming, if a little awkward. You'd expected someone more... stuck up, since Carmy had met him in the fine dining world. Mikey had put all these things about fine dining being full of snobs in your head - not on purpose, it was just Mikey's mentality about fine dining that had rubbed off on you.

You got along well during your day of sight seeing. You'd taken him to see The Bean, of course, and you decided to take him to one of your personal favourite spots, The Museum of Ice Cream. It was a nice day, for once something your older brother had given you a task that you actually enjoyed.

Your day out ended with dinner at your favourite place to get both deep dish and thin crust pizza, Barraco's, wanting to give Luca a true Chicago experience.

You brought the leftovers, and Luca, back to your apartment since it was closer than his Airbnb, just to unwind from your extensive day. It was wonderful to just spend time together, and what made it better was Luca was just nice. He was a gentleman. So many other guys would've tried to get you in the sack by now, even if this hadn't been a date.

Eventually, you and Luca had crashed on the couch while drinking wine and watching a movie. It was pleasant...

Until the following late morning, when Carmy let himself into your apartment since he hadn't heard from you or Luca in nearly 24 hours.

"What in the fuck, Luca?!"

You jumped up, immediately stopping your brother in his tracks. "This isn't what it looks like!"

"Oh, really? Enlighten me then." Carmy grunted, staring you down. If looks could kill...

"We were hanging out, and we fell asleep." You told Carmy in a gentle tone, your hands held up in defense. "That's all."

Your older brother eyed you carefully, then Luca, then back at you. He was clearly studying the situation very carefully. Finally, his gaze shifted from you completely.

"Chef, let's go. We need to get ready for Ever. Chef Terry wants to catch up." He told Luca.

You barely got to say goodbye to Luca before he left with Carmy. This was ridiculous, your brother was ridiculous. Now you had to wonder if you were going to see Luca again at all because of Carmy's little outburst.

Fuck.

[stevesbestgirl]

Would you ever write for tangerine 🍊 Cause I would disintegrate of joy

Peachy

Tangerine x f!Reader

1922 words

Warnings: major spoilers for the first third of Bullet Train- for real, this follows the plot super closely, so please watch the movie first (I super recommend), mention of a dead body, alcohol, Tan being a flirt, maybe a little OOC Tangerine, but really he's just soft on reader, pet names, sexual content, swearing, thigh riding, reader really just says "fuck it, he's hot"

You gave a squeak of surprise as a disheveled-looking man crashed into the snack cart, pinching your fingers against the plastic seat edge. You ducked your head, stifling a curse.

“Hey, why don’t you watch where you’re goin’, mate? Bloody fucking hell, it’s not hard to watch out for a pretty lady, is it?”

You glanced sharply across the aisle at the man who had spoken, a chestnut-haired stranger with a neat mustache and sparkling blue eyes. The man who had bumped the cart muttered something in Japanese and continued on his way. While the girl staffing the cart was distracted, the handsome stranger across from you palmed two packages of cookies, tucking them in his coat and sending you a quick wink, as though you were in on the secret. 

You forced your gaze away, back to the open book in front of you, though you couldn’t stop a little smile, even sinking your teeth into your lower lip. 

“What is he, fucking blind or something?” he redirected his conversation back to the man sitting across from him, who had lighter hair and a darker skin tone. You stole another glance at the pair; they were wearing matching tweed overcoats, which was rather cute. You made a conscious effort to not eavesdrop, but he spoke to you directly again, “You alright then, love?”

Nodding quickly, you forced words out before you could fully process the fact that he was still talking to you, “I’m okay. Thank you- for speaking up, I mean.”

“Well someone’s got to, don’t they? Can’t have a pretty thing like you getting all banged up, can we?” That pulled a smile from you- a real one, which he seemed to appreciate, “Now that’s what I like to see.”

Your stomach was light at his attention and you found yourself wanting more of it, "What should I call my knight in shining armor?"

"Name's Tangerine." His companion made a comment you couldn't make out and received a glare, "And this here is Lemon. And what's your name then, sweetheart?"

“Do I get to pick a fake name too?” you teased.

Lemon laughed aloud, “I think I like her.”

Tangerine leaned across the aisle, offering you one of the offending snacks from the cart, waving away your protest, “You were reaching for something, weren’t ya? Before that prick came banging down the aisle.”

“Really, I’m fine, I promise-”

“Look love, I don’t even want this. If you don’t take it, it’s going in the bin.”

Reluctantly, you accepted his offering, though you raised an eyebrow, "If you didn't want it, why'd you steal it?"

Tangerine opened his mouth to reply, but Lemon beat him to it, "Because he needs therapy."

That made you laugh, "Don't we all." Tangerine glared at Lemon, like he'd stolen something from him. You smiled at him again, “Thank you.”

“You grateful enough to give me your name then?”

“Oi-” Lemon nudged Tangerine, “Sleeping beauty is awake.” And indeed, the young man with face tattoos seated beside Tangerine was coming around. You had assumed they weren’t together. 

Your heart sank a bit as they both redirected their attention, seeming to forget about you; you missed when Tangerine stole a glance back at you, having already resumed your reading. You didn’t have to make too much of an effort not to eavesdrop this time- they kept their conversation low, easily slipping under the constant din of chatter and the rattle of train on track. 

At least, until an argument started. Tangerine was the first to escalate and soon the pair were shouting numbers back and forth at each other, counting off some kind of tally. You decided that now was a good time to get yourself a drink.

The bar was unstaffed; you grabbed a glass and mixed yourself a drink, taking a seat by the window. You considered leaving money on the counter, but Tangerine had given you a dangerous little confidence boost. He was gorgeous- and he was trouble. He made you want a bit of both. You finished your drink as the train pulled into the station, leaving the glass on the counter and heading back to your seat. 

At least, you went in that direction, only making it down a car’s length through the traffic of disembarking passengers. Once the aisle cleared, you were left facing the only other person still standing, Tangerine. His brow was furrowed as he scanned the car, not seeming to find what he was looking for.

“Everything alright?” You stepped a little closer, almost bumping into him as he began moving forward, still gazing around.

His gaze snapped to you with such intensity that you started back, but he quickly softened, catching your elbow to steady you, “I was wondering where you got to, sweetheart.”

You gestured over your shoulder, “Thought I’d get a drink. Although maybe I should have waited for you- you kind of look like you could use one.”

“Er- yeah. One of our things is missing- a briefcase. You mind helping me look for it? Maybe I can get that drink on the way.”

“That’s awful about your things, of course I’ll help you look.”

“Knew I could count on you, love.” He captured your hand in his, warmth encapsulating your fingers and flooding your cheeks as he brought you with him down the aisle. “Now, it’s a silver briefcase, with a train sticker on the handle.”

You trailed after him, scanning the cars and finding nothing. By the time you reached the bar again, Tangerine was visibly frustrated, releasing your hand to smooth back his hair. 

You paused a second before resting your palm on his bicep, "Don't worry, we'll find it."

When he glanced at you, there was a glint in his eye, but his gaze flicked up over your shoulder. You glanced back; there was a man leaning up against the window, slumped like he might be sleeping. 

Tangerine took your hand from his arm and squeezed it softly, "Gimme a second, love."

He marched over to the man, giving his shoulder a shake, "You mind giving us a minute here, mate?"

But the man's head lolled, making his center of gravity shift. The body slipped from the seat onto the floor of the car, revealing a knife wound on the chest and dead eyes beneath sunglasses. Your gasp was lost under the curse from Tangerine. Stumbling back, you bumped into the bar, making the glasses rattle on the wall.

Tangerine didn't move to comfort you right away; he watched the way you struggled to look at anything other than at the body, the way you tensed when you failed. 

Then he approached slowly, his hands raised, "Alright love, I'm gonna need you to relax for me alright?"

"How are you so calm?" His eyebrows drew in, making him look rather guilty and your stomach twisted, "It's not really your briefcase we're looking for, is it?"

He planted his fists on his hips, blowing out a breath, "Of course it is." He sounded offended that you would even ask. "Let's put it this way: that briefcase belongs to a friend of mine. And if I don't get it back and return it to him, he's going to be very, very angry with me, understand love?"

"Oh my god, you're a thief."

"I am not a thief," he protested adamantly."I'm an assassin." And whether you like it or not, sweetheart, it looks like you're involved now." 

He expected you to cry, to be completely honest. Or he thought maybe you'd hit him- it wouldn't be the first time that had happened. But he didn't expect you to grin, "Does that mean I get a code name?"

"Er, sure." He cupped your elbow, "You're taking this very well. You sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine." You raised an eyebrow, "I thought you wanted to find that case."

Tangerine lifted a brow, seeming impressed, "How about pumpkin?"

"Pumpkin?"

"For your code name, love, keep up if you can," he grinned.

“I’m going to choose to believe you’re trying to be cute and not commenting on my weight.”

“Alright, fair. Clementine ain’t too bad though.”

“If you call me Clem, I swear-”

“Okay, okay, I’ll keep working on it.” He snapped his fingers, “Got it- Peach.”

You crooked an eyebrow, “I don’t hate it. Give it a go.”

The corner of his mouth twitched in that signature smirk of his just before he leaned in, pressing you against the bar with one hand on your hip and the other on the counter behind you. “C’mere, Peach,” he breathed the words up your neck, his nose tracing the line of your jaw before he cupped it in his palm, ghosting his lips over yours.

And then he smirked again at the way your lips parted in surprise, making heat rise in your cheeks, "Not bad, hm?"

"Alright Tan, you've made your point," you huffed, placing a hand flat on his chest.

He captured your wrist between his fingers, "And now we're getting cozy with each other." His voice was almost a hum, barely audible over the train, but you heard him clearly.

Your breath seemed to catch in your throat as you met those sparkling blue eyes and then his lips were on yours. His hands slipped over your waist to cup your hips, pulling you toward him as though he didn't already have you pinned to the bar. 

Not that you minded, wrapping an arm around his neck, you threaded fingers into his hair and held him just as tightly. His soft lips explored yours, surprisingly gentle compared to the way his hands were groping at your waist. 

He slotted his leg between your thighs, grabbing your hips with both hands, "We've only got a minute now, love, so I need you to do exactly as I say, understand?"

You nodded, the breathy affirmation leaving your lips not sounding much like you, "Yes Tan."

"That's a good girl," he breathed, sending sparks right to your core just before he dug his fingers into your hips, grinding you over his thigh. At the sounds of your strangled moans, he smirked, "You like that, Peach?" One hand left your hips to cup your jaw, his thumb grazing your lower lip as he lowered his head to your neck again, tongue tracing over the sensitive skin there and he continued to guide you along his thigh.

"Come on now, pretty girl, be a peach for me, will you?"

He chuckled softly at his own joke, his mustache tickling your neck, but the humor was lost on you as your breathing grew rapid, the pressure of his thigh between your legs making you gasp with each movement of your hips, guided by Tangerine's fingers on your hip, which were sure to leave marks when he let go.

You cried out, your hips moving in time with his guidance without your direction as you chased your release.

Biting down on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, Tan hummed, "This is only just the beginning, sweet Peach. Because you belong to me now." He slipped his thumb into your mouth as you rode his thigh, the taste of him on your tongue sending you over the edge.

"Tan, T-" convulsions racked your body as an orgasm swept through you, slackening your muscles and leaving you panting against Tangerine's chest.

He cupped your chin, stealing a kiss from your lips before he smiled, “Come on then, we’d better get moving.”

[miiilowo]

i feel like theres not a lot of great resources out there so i figured id just ask -- how would you recommend ways of living with/helping out someone else with npd? :)

youre right! most of the time when u look up NPD stuff its "THE ABUSER DISORDER: KNOW HOW TO RECOGNIZE IT AND DISABLE NARC DEFENSES SO THEY CANT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU" which isnt. Great

all it really comes down to is listening to them n addressing their needs if they've communicated them to you. ill try to simplify it so i dont get too into details, though i will likely fail, and most of this advice will be based off my experiences, so idk how much itll apply to whoever ur talking about BUT:

generally (and w me especially) you can safely say that NPD mostly has to do with ego dysregulation. Our [as in myself and people w npd] mental health and general happiness tends to rely on how people perceive us, and if that perception is anything but positive, we feel like poopy doo doo dogshit. we kinda need to be paid attention to in a way that feels meaningful, yknow? compliment them, make sure theyre included in conversations (esp group ones), and try not to ignore em in any way. if youre talking to them and youre busy, for example, make sure you include that detail so they don't feel like youre brushing them aside. stuff like that. if they make art, and you genuinely like it, try going into detail as to why, whether its the colors or linework or what have you. if they write, tell them what you liked about the story or poem, etcetera. Tag them in stuff that reminds you of them if you have their socials, or send them things, show it to them, whatever.

lots of us tend to actually be very insecure, even if it doesn't seem that way, which might be important to keep in mind. sometimes we can get whats referred to as "narc crashes" (im not particularly a fan of the term narc, though theres nothing actually wrong with it, so ill just call it an NPD crash) where for whatever reason, we go from feeling great and secure in our egos and our stability and happiness and security to falling 600 feet down directly into hell no recovery absolutely awful 0% joy 0% light 100% agony. dogs with human teeth screaming at you and shit its really just no good. calling you a dunderhead

they usually (though not always!) come after a high where we feel fantastic, and most commonly the cause of a crash is we get hurt by someone, humiliated, or made to feel lesser in some significant way. for me, they're the worst when i no longer feel confident that people like me, and i become incredibly worried everybody secretly hates me. which is a very very very awful train of thought to be experiencing when you have the "EVERYBODY NEEDS TO LIKE ME NOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" disorder. so if ur friend seems depressed or upset make sure to ask whats going on and bump up the praise and stuff up a notch. its the best way to recover for Me, at least. crashes dont have a consistent like. timeframe? i think it highly depends on the severity of what happened and whats being done to fix it, though im certainly no psychologist lmao

i feel like when folks w npd Are mean or unfair its because their needs arent being met, theyre doing awful, and they need support so they dont desperately lash out for it. god knows thats the case for me. thats another thing thats important to keep in mind i think

a lot of traits of NPD aren't pretty, and thats just a fact of the matter. its a disorder for a reason and all. even if we dont express the almost inherently negative traits all the time (usually because we are aware they are unfair to other people), its very likely that we are feeling them, and it does erode your brain after a while. The DSM-5 list of traits is probably the best way to go for this, as per this government website:

"A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and with lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood, as indicated by at least five of the following:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements, expects to be recognized as superior without actually completing the achievements)

Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty, or perfect love.

Believes that they are "special" and can only be understood by or should only associate with other special people (or institutions).[milo note: its hard for me to find something specific to make bold in this definition, but generally, i do not express that i think that i am better than other people even if i think it]

Requires excessive admiration.

Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations.

Is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends.

Lacks empathy and is unwilling to identify with the needs of others.

Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.

Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes."

Ive bolded the ones that would negatively affect people that, I, at least, try not to express but still feel, or feel the desire to do, near constantly.

As you can see, thats a pretty hefty chunk of them! I'm sure some people could take problem with every trait listed here, in which case they can suck my whole dick, but those are the ones I've noticed upset people the most, or make relationships the most difficult. I bring these up because if someone does express these, you need to keep in mind it is because of a personality disorder. That doesn't always make them acceptable, and if they are really upsetting, you should talk to them about it, but thats just like. basic relationship shit lmao. just try to be an eensy bit forgiving

Though the MAIN reason I wanted to bring up the traits is due to the 'entitlement/unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment/compliance' one. This can manifest in a whole lot of ways, but it is genuinely infuriating when someone ignores what i want them to do/what ive asked them to do/etc, especially if its for a reason that doesnt 'feel' solid enough, like them just not wanting to do it. it can be incredibly frustrating if someone with npd says they need something from you or want you to do xyz and it doesnt happen, so try your best to listen to them. if you cant do what they desire for whatever reason, make sure thats clear, and why. Most of us will recognize we're being unfair, but will still be mad; Just know its not because of you, its because of the disorder, and most people will not hold it against you because they're aware its unreasonable in some fashion.

i think thats like. the main things when it comes to meeting the needs of someone w NPD. to summarize and dumb it down:

make sure to compliment them in meaningful ways, especially when you really mean it

pay attention to them; try to prioritize them in conversation and such. it feels very nice. dont ignore them for the love of god

keep the crashes in mind, and try to uplift your friend as much as you can. reassure them you care about them, maybe not directly by saying "i care about you" but with your actions in general

listen to them and adapt to their needs as best as you can

remember that if they are being unpleasant its probably because of The Disorder and they are not doing well. dont let anyone be a prick to you but try to be kind. everybody goes through shit

if anyone has anything to add, or if you have any followup questions, feel free to ask ^_^ i very much didn't cover everything here, and again, this is mostly based off of my experience as someone w NPD, and everyone is different to some degree. The most important thing to do is ask about their needs, and try to adapt to them the best you can.

i think thats all i have to say for now tho so. sayanora. if i come up w anything else ill add it in an edit

[that-ari-blogger]

Idealism

One reading of Wicked that I have noticed to be particularly popular is as a love story between Glinda and Elphie, and I actually subscribe to this idea. What Is This Feeling is often interpreted as a love song, repressed emotions and all that, but here is where I disagree.

Wicked is a satire, and so What Is This Feeling is a satire of the love-at-first-sight trope. The relationship takes time, and doesn't actually work out in the end, that's part of the tragedy of the story.

I would argue that this song sets up why the romance falls apart, but also why it is so compelling to discuss.

Let me explain.

Spoilers Ahead

According to the Cabridge Dictionary, "Idealism" can be defined as the following:

"The belief that your ideals can be achieved, often when this does not seem likely to others"

There are other definitions pertaining to philosophy and principals, but this is the definition I will be working under, and here is the interesting question: Of the two named characters present in What Is This Feeling, who is the idealist? I will come back to this.

A massive attraction of the Glinda x Elphaba ship is the idea that opposites attract, and that certainly seems to be on display here. The opening of the song establishes once again who these characters are, and while their relationships with family is interesting, my favourite example of their dynamic is this:

"There's been some confusion for you see my roommate is..."

"Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and all together quite impossible to describe."

"Blonde"

Thats some good character writing right there. Galinda is almost aggressively indirect, dancing around the subject to avoid actually saying anything, while Elphaba is direct, and realistic. It's a neat little comedy beat, and this song is comedic in nature, but it's also fascinating.

This is our first look at the old Galinda, and she's... a schemer. She doesn't do anything herself, instead preferring that others take action or even say things for her. She will take an artsy path to ensure someone else walks down the road the way she wants them to.

Galinda is charismatic and has weaponised that fact.

Elphaba, on the other hand, is awkward and blunt, but intelligent, and there is something to that. There is a stereotype of historical witchcraft as "women who were clever" and while there is some truth to it, history rejects simplicity.

I recommend Crash Course's video on the subject but put simply: The Witch-hunts in history were based almost entirely on fear and anger, with the remainder made up of prejudice and superstition. Encyclopedia Brittanica puts the number of people killed between forty-thousand and sixty thousand, both men and women (I couldn't find any explicit mention of non-binary folk executed for witchcraft, so I guess we got out of this one. Good work team).

What is important to understand is that witches were societal outcasts, anyone who there was prejudice against could be tried as a witch. Women who were mildly intelligent or, heaven forbid, had opinions, were often targets of this prejudice in such a heavily patriarchal society.

So, where does Elphaba slot into this? Well, she's an outcast from society because of her skin colour, and she's clever. She is very intentionally invoking the history and popular culture depiction of the witch (something her original incarnation in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz definitely contributed to) to invoke sympathy in the audience, or at least, to invoke antipathy for those who call her a witch.

The rest of this song doubles down on the differences between the two, and the fact that this causes them to fall apart instead of together is important here.

"My pulse is rushing"

"My head is reeling"

"My face is flushing"

"What is this feeling?"

This the setup for a love song, right? These are symptoms of powerful emotions and at this point in a romantic story, you would expect the meet cute. But the song pulls the rug out from underneath you.

"Loathing

Unadulterated loathing"

Love at first sight is rare in real life, but it is common in fiction. The prince and princess meet and fall instantly head over heels, etc. But once again, Wicked is a satire, and it goes in a different direction. Part of this musical is the relationship between these two being built up from scratch, and this song establishes that baseline.

But why do these two fall apart in the end? I mentioned that this song foreshadows that, and what did I mean by that?

I asked earlier on in this post which one of the two witches is the idealist, and I think the answer is Elphaba. She believes in honesty and kindness and is hopeful to a fault (remember The Wizard And I?), which is in contrast to Galinda's remarkably utilitarian mindset. Galinda says what she needs to say and wants nothing more than the spotlight.

Don't get me wrong, wanting attention isn't a sin, that's not what I mean here. I'm trying to say that Galinda doesn't have far reaching dreams for herself, she wants personal happiness, nothing more. Or so she thinks.

My thesis for this series about the songs in Wicked is that the musical is about the collision of dreams and reality, and its interesting how that works with the characters.

Galinda is incredibly shallow, but she ends up getting inspired by her friend. Elphaba's hope and ideals brush off on Galinda over time, not enough to be noticeable to her, but enough that when Galinda gets everything she wants, she is unsatisfied.

That's why the relationship doesn't work out in the end. Elphaba has ambitions to make the world a better place, and Galinda doesn't realise that she does too until it is far too late.

Final Thoughts

Please don't misinterpret this post. This isn't that Glinda x Elphaba is a bad ship or even that it isn't a valid reading of the story. It is, and I will explain in future posts as to why that is the case. All I am trying to say is that this song is explicitly antiromantic, and that factors into the queer reading of the musical.

I will, however, say this: "Gelphie" is such an awful name for a ship. Like, come on folks, you could have gone with anything, but "Gelphie"?

In all seriousness, this is the third post in a series about Wicked, next week I will be talking about Dancing Through Life, a song that is remarkably complex for a character trying his hardest to be simple. So, stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[velvetvexations]

it’s so bizarre to me that you never, EVER reblog or post anything about transmisogyny or the transfem experience. like, can you even recommend any transfem-centric blogs for me to follow? for someone so into “solidarity” your trans activism seems pretty focused on trans men only

So there are multiple things going on with this ask.

As I've explained several times before - I don't necessarily blame you for not seeing it, but I have - most social issues give me panic attacks to contemplate. The thing I mentioned triggered me so badly yesterday was something in the transmisogyny tag that wasn't tagged with anything I had blacklisted (not that OP's fault, I added more variations of transphobia warnings so it hopefully won't happen again).

Intercommunity issues are less existential. Things like hate crimes and legislative assaults on queer people freak me out and leave me a shaking, crying, doomscrolling mess. I don't even follow like, literally any of the people who followed me for transandrophobia advocacy because they reblog other things that gives me heart palpitations.

That limits my exposure to intercommunity issues facing transfems specifically as well, the vast majority of people I follow don't put any discourse on my dash at all. However, I have in fact reblogged posts purely about transmisogyny (other than the kind transandrophobes throw at me lol) only to immediately delete them when I see the OP is vile towards transmascs in other posts, completely spoling the message. At least one was even specifically about ways transmascs can be transmisogynistic, which I thought was a fair enough criticism before realizing it was at best one good point in a sea of bullshit directed at our trans brothers. Another time I specifically asked someone how they felt about trasnmascs before I reblogged their very good post about transmisogyny and was delighted when they gave a fantastic response.

Furthermore, I do actually just speak on pure transmisogyny myself sometimes! I talked at length about the immense pain it caused me realizing Alison Bechdel was TERFier than I thought in a way that completely contradicts the strip that made me cry out of appreciation for her. Recently, I've also been talking a lot about the ways butch transfems are treated for not looking cis.

Do I mention these things less than transandrophobia and other issues that affect people other than transfems? Sure. But like...so what? I like doing things for other people.

I don't mean to act like I'm some kinna savior or anything, but as I said just yesterday, helping people outside of your own issues is something I'm kinna obsessed with not just in myself but others too. I'm constantly stressing how cis allies should be appreciated e.g. my previous feelings about Bechdel, and despite how she turned out I still firmly believe that cis allies should be treasured. I've donated money to multiple cis allies to say thanks for their statements.

It's not like I'm just so saintly selfless or anything like that, I'm very self-centered, it's just that being an ally to [x], [x] being allies to me, and [x] being allies to [y] who have nothing to do with me is not only a rare area of activism I can function in, it's one that actively brings me joy. This includes having sent multiple messages to transmascs thanking them when they speak up about transmisogyny, because I want to show them the love so many of them have shown me for the same thing.

Finally, you say my trans activism is focused on trans men. Maybe so, by volume. But, and I've mentioned this before, I've been wanting to do more for everyone else as well, literally everyone. I've asked a bit about intersex issues and am trying to learn more about what non-binary people who don't lean to one end or the other deal with as well, and I also want all my cis followers to feel just as comfortable and supported by me as well - and, of course, that all goes for other transfems as well, whose pain cuts me to the bone.

I'm radically pro-everyone, anon, and I want to help uplift them all without exception. I understand focusing on one's own lane, and I neither judge that nor am attempting to portray myself as a uniquely noble white knight. That's just what I personally choose to put my efforts towards.