#And thought the purpose of showing kids ostracizing will was to show us that they know there's something wrong with him sjdjdjd

[lipglossboy]

My mom when Bob was sent down to turn the electricity back on in the lab - "I feel sick. I don't want anything to happen to Bob. This show is sick… I mean if they kill Bob."

She keeps picking the exact right characters to worry about 😭

[why-do-i-like-the-bad-guys]

A point no one ever touches on about Flint:

The fact that he was raised by his grandfather.

Now, maybe it was common back then, but from personal experience; losing your parents at such a young age makes a huge impact on a person.

People argue that “Flint” was created because of the loss of Thomas Hamilton. But I’d like to think it was when he lost his parents. The only difference being, Miranda and Thomas allowed him to come out of the shadows, out of hiding. He had that rage inside him before he lost Thomas, his boss in the Navy said so himself after he beat up a guy in the bar. He had a darkness in him that not even he understood the depths of.

I can definitely relate to that statement and mindset, I think as a kid instead of acting out on his aggression; Flint used books and stories to try and escape his reality, so he wouldn’t be alone with his own thoughts. I do the same with TV shows and stories I write.

But then he found Thomas and Miranda and he didn’t need the books to crawl into, he was accepted by them, welcomed. And as someone who was adopted themselves, it’s extremely hard and sometimes it feels impossible to believe that someone could love you as you are or for who you are. Not only that, I think he found family within them, something sometimes hard for someone who loses their parents.

Flint tried to fit in by becoming an officer, upholding the standards of the law and whatnot, to be like everyone else. But deep inside, I think he felt very out of place and alone. He saw the world as it was, the cruelty within the people, and he ended up showing that to Thomas who was quite oblivious to it. But Flint knew the world was cruel at an early age.

They come from different backgrounds, but together they get to see the world through each other’s eyes, and that is a world that they can see being happy in.

Now, I know a lot of people like to think it’s purely queer rage that drove Flint, but I like to think it was something much deeper than that. Yes, he loved Thomas, inside and out, but I think Thomas was the first person who he didn’t have to pretend with. He was the first person who made him feel as if he wasn’t alone: that he was worthy of being loved. Then he was taken away and James became Flint and took Miranda away with him out of England.

Her ghost even says that first to him, she was a mother, and that’s why he was so ruined over her. He lost his mother again. I think it just shows that his reasons are a lot deeper than just being ostracized for being queer in that time. I think his rage goes beyond that, it goes all the way to his core of who he believes he is because of the loss of his parents. He came up from nothing, his grandfather wasn’t well off, he didn’t have a mother figure, that can be extremely damaging to a child growing up.

And sure, he had his grandfather, but growing up without parents also makes it extremely hard to figure out who you are. And it doesn’t specifically say how he lost his parents, but personally I like to believe that he lost his mother in childbirth, maybe his father died before he was born. It does mention that his father was a carpenter’s mate (worked on a ship) and that James himself had no schooling growing up. Which means, he learned everything himself because his grandfather was a fisherman and probably wasn’t well educated either. So he came from literally nothing and made something of himself, yet I don’t think he was content. I think he kept climbing the ranks, hoping it would give him a sense of meaning or purpose within his life, give him the peace he wanted, fill the hole within that losing his parents left.

An additional to that would be that James McGraw was a personality he put on, much like he did with Flint.

I also think he saw Gates as a father figure, a mentor, someone he trusted and respected more than any one else. So I think when Gates betrayed him, it broke something inside of him and he felt alone again.

He also says that England took his home; and I don’t think he meant the physical place, I think he meant Thomas. But I also think he meant his final security within himself. With Thomas and Miranda he found family, he found love and trust.

When Miranda was murdered it was the absolute last straw for him. It was like his mother dying all over again; except this time she was murdered, and now no one was safe from his vengeance. And people might think he went overboard, but think about it: someone insinuated that she was a slut and he almost beat the man to death. I think it was well within his rage now he burned the entire place down after she was murdered. Hell, those people got off easy.

He also talks about where the name Flint came from. A man that was never seen again. I think he chose it because in his mind, identity was something you could change, something you could toss away when done with. But closer to the end, he realized, he was Flint, Flint was him, and there was no throwing it away and starting over.

He tells Silver that he shouldn’t be afraid that he (Silver) will be his end because I think he already realizes that he’s already his own end. That there is no other way other than to die, in order to get rid of Flint. I think he knew at some point, that Silver would have to kill him and he was oky with it, but as long as the war was won or Silver carried on with the efforts of the war, so Flint would no longer be needed. Or Flint would just off himself when the time came. It was like passing on the torch, only Silver blew it out in front of him.

And for the offing himself part, we all know he would do it because at the end of the first season he tried to drown himself, he gave up hope. So he does have it in him to do that. (Not so fun fact: adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide)

And I think it’s another reason Flint allowed himself to trust Silver in the first place. On some level, he knew that Silver understood what it was to have no solid identity, to have a background that made something inside of you missing. Silver had no problems shifting his position on the ship in order to stay relevant, which is why they made such good partners, because they understood one another in a way that Gates never could. But the thing with Silver was that he couldn’t see the ultimate bigger picture like Flint could, he didn’t have the loss Flint had, the sacrifices that Flint made, all he saw in the end was the destruction, not the new beginning coming out of the ashes.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[wortsandall]

Jake Lockley-the lies we tell ourselves au

buckle in, this one's long next

my biggest inspiration for this whole au was this man right here. mostly from reading fanfiction and thinking-who is this man to me? and noticing the pattern that jake had become kind of one note.

the fanon jake lockley had become a kind of stereotype-the rough macho man, slinging Spanish and banging ladies-and rarely did I see anything go past those interpretations. now there's nothing really wrong with that and I don't mean to shit on anyone's perception or enjoyment of the character.

in the show, the only things we know are that

he fronts in violent moments to get marc and jake out of a bind

he speaks spanish

he has to be the one who asked the woman out at the museum

and thats exactly why we get the jake that we often see.

personally, I just wanted to explore beyond that. maybe as a black person as well i found that one note portrayal to almost be in poor taste and starts to infringe on some Latino stereotypes even if it's not purposeful. (again you do you. and I don't mean to speak over any Latino voices who may feel differently)

but jake to me can go so much deeper than that. the framing of him as the "violent" alter is so harmful when it comes to D.I.D. we all remember split. those that are uninformed about disorders like D.I.D usually don't see the harm that can come in that kind of portrayal or can be dismissive. I don't have D.I.D myself, but I do have an unfinished psych degree focusing on abnormal psych and dissociative disorders and a LOT of free time.

my main point being that I didn't want jake to just be the violent alter. it was so obvious to me that jake engages in violence as a form of protection. and that alone brings so much more depth to his character. jake only fronts in the show to get them out of a dangerous situation. and when he doesn't have to kill-he doesn't. like with the kid.

so jake immediately screamed protector to me. and the violence that comes as his form as protection is the most effective that we've seen. it's not about making sure that marc feels okay with what's been done or happy. it's about keeping them physically safe.

tw for discussions of abuse, bullying

the show shows us that marc, and in extension all the boys were abused by their mother. it may be jumping to conclusions but my next thought would be that's where jake gets the violence from. and I don't mean that he enjoys it or wishes to hurt people like he was hurt as some sort of outlet. but that now they get some kind of control over when and how they are hurt.

to make some more leaps, I thought that it's not far-fetched to believe that there could be bullying in their childhood due to potentially being seen talking to themselves. or if I wanted to make it sadder, for being both Jewish and Latino. I've seen my fair share of mixed people being forced to "pick" one or being ostracized for not fitting in the way they are supposed to.

hell, I'm fully black and have had to deal with not fitting the standard due to the way I speak, or dress, or what music I listen to, etc. if something like that was going on, I can imagine dots being connected. that in order to be left alone-violence can actually be the answer.

my mom beats me -> I tend to stay clear of her as much as I can -> these kids are bothering me -> I can make them steer clear of me

and if I'm hurt -> then its my choice -> a side effect of being in a fight -> not something done on purpose to me

I imagine that's jakes origins. he's not great for anything else in his eyes, that's all he's used to. marc wouldn't register these fights as anything abnormal. marc sees himself as broken and angry, and even as a child I think that's what he would boil these fights down to. he wouldn't remember the specifics of it-just the aftermath. feeling so angry then nothing but seeing the bully on the ground holding his nose. and just fill in the blanks for himself.

as a physical protector, jake's concern is physical safety. as they get older and they end up in psych wards or other mental facilities after their dad's growing concern about the out of character behavior. (steven, not knowing how to be covert) jake would be more aware. they are in this strange place, away from what's familiar and being treated like an invalid.

I think jake would front much more often, even if he's just watching from a corner of marc's mind. he'd be used to that kind of hyper vigilance. I don't want to demonize mental health facilities, though I know that a lot of them can be very harmful. but I don't think marc would be the one causing "trouble" in there, nor is steven.

this is where the other alters that I want to add for this au to come in. where marc remembers these wards as no big deal and steven has zero memory. but jake remembers more of the unpleasant aftermath caused by outbursts of a different alter leo. I'll get into him and what I imagine his character to be in a different post but just know that this is leo's origin: the wards they were in and out of as a teenager.

I think that once they left, they weren't fully an adult. maybe 17, about to turn 18 but marc hits the bricks. tired of his mother's abuse and his father's enabling of it. I imagine that in those couple months before 18, marc would rather be anywhere else. and jake would be the one helping with that, guiding marc without him realizing. turning them away from potential areas of danger, fully fronting in order to fight off a robber. I don't think this would be a long period-maybe a month or two. and that's why marc thought they could just leave until the military. (jake, tired of being the one to watch marc's stupid ass would wish that marc had just toughed it out at home until their 18th birthday. their mother was a known danger, the streets are not)

joining the military and everything after is mostly marc. jake only fronting similarly to the show, in life and death situations. steven and the other two alters wouldn't be fronting at all. and in these long year periods is where I think jake's role would change slightly. as marc learns how to better protect himself on his own, jake would become more of a gatekeeper. maybe not a great one, still concerned more about their physical safety than anything else.

"survive. don't die." that's jake's priority. so in these combat scenarios it is impertinent that alters who can't fight, won't. in this sole endeavor, he becomes a gatekeeper. anything that might trigger steven and the others gets heavily locked down. he has a tight hold on the front, making sure only he or marc could possibly do it. I can't imagine he'd be able to keep that tight hold at all times. maybe there's small moments where their guard is down and any of the others could front for a moment. but for the most part, he's successful.

and when he gets tired of this, maybe the others are starting to front more or marc's fatigue starts to impact him, he makes the decision that in order to stay alive, they have to go. and that he's the one who tried to leave in a fugue state.

we all know what happens next and fast-forwarding through that, jake has less of a need to front. marc has the suit now. but jake is still a gatekeeper. marc's belief that steven and everything that came with that was over is partly due to jake keeping them all neatly held back and marc unaware.

due this backstory of jake's I don't imagine him getting out much. he hasn't had time for much else and doesn't know who he is outside of protecting them. after their mother's Shiva, I think jake would be the reason why marc and steven's life start to recombine. that he'd notice how shaken marc is after her death and know that it's not a problem that he can fight. so steven starts to front more, taking the brunt of these emotional moments. jake takes an even further step back, thinking steven has his role. as a caretaker and emotional protector this would be good for marc.

in this relative calm, where marc is trying (and failing) to balance his life and steven's, jake has a lot of time on his hands. maybe he watches how marc crafts a fake life for steven and thinks that it'd be nice to have one of his own-but not know how to go about it. he's never really been a person. in his eyes. he doesn't know how to be. so maybe he takes a small step on asking out the woman at the museum (I can't remember her name or if it's ever been mentioned, sorry)

thats the last part of fanon jake that I would like to dissect. I know in the comics I've read (and its only the 2016 and 2021 ones I apologize for that) there are references to this "woman-loving" personality. there are scenes where marc, steven, and jake are all talking and jake is in a club environment with dancers. and for me, it's never read as him being some kind of playboy hounding or thirsting after woman. in most of these scenes, jake is namely talking about finding community and people to care for in the rougher crowds. the crowds that might frequent these types of areas and crowds.

that's what I'd like to focus in on. jake may be a part of a system but it is a fairly isolated one. and part of that is due to his choices, but that doesn't mean he can't yearn for community. jake would be around during the time that marc was with layla. I imagine he'd probably have fronted a number of times as well. jake wouldn't know to navigate more emotional and intimate moments making him uncomfortable around her. he's covert enough to pretend to be marc in day to day scenarios, but not this. at the same time he'd see the way they interact and clearly love each other and become envious. so when he gets a chance, he tries it out for himself. though he never gets to go on that date.

all this to say jake lockley is aroace. he wants connection, community, family. due to circumstances both in and out of his control he'd never experienced that. and the couple times he has, it's been in a romantic sense. so he tries to copy that, thinking maybe that will be the key. but it isn't. he doesn't need that. he just needs some form of intimate connection to help him learn and remember how to be human. not just as a weapon, not just as a human shield. but as a person with his own wants and needs and personality outside of what the system wants.

that's my jake lockley.

the lies we tell ourselves au masterpost

[mistresslynndramione]

Lynn’s FAQ’s

Bookbinding/Translations/Podfics: 

I’m fine with all non-profit endeavors. 

And there is a podfic of From Wiltshire, With Love up on spotify by the amazingly talented AutumnFoxWrites! Somehow she manages to do different voices/accents for all the characters and keep it up throughout the story.

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/autumn-fox2

Where is the title of From Wiltshire, With Love from? 

It’s a play on words from the James Bond spy movie, From Russia, With Love. Malfoy Manor is located in Wiltshire.

Do you have any recs? 

Absolutely! My tumblr is chock full of recommendations and mini-reviews of underrated writers and their stories. Feel free to peruse. The Dramione subreddit also has the What Are You Reading? thread, Self-rec Sunday, the WIP Wednesday thread and the Underrated Fanfic Friday thread which are goldmines.

Where do I post? 

Archive of Our Own and Fanfiction.net, although lately I haven’t posted on ff.net. I posted FWWL on Wattpad, I don’t know if I’ll post anything else there.

What are you working on now? 

I’m finishing up an extremely niche birthday fic for Bek. I may or may not post that third epilogue to Blackmailed. I’d like to continue Draco’s Body, for another chapter. Long fic: I’m also working on Butterfly, my evil author’s day submission.

Are you writing any original fiction? 

No. I love my day job and fanfiction is purely an escapist outlet for my creativity where I am beholden to no one but myself. Writing original fiction would defeat the purpose.

Hey! You make art! 

Yes, sometimes! I post here on tumblr, and I post my art on AO3 and instagram.

Your parents really read your smut? 

Yes. Yes they did. It was a very wholesome experience and I live blogged it! My kids also know that I write fanfiction, everyone is very supportive. It feels good not to hide my hobby! (that being said, no one at my work knows, that’s a bridge too far)

Why don’t I see you on the Room of Requirement discord? 

When I was new to fandom and social media and still figuring things out, I got cyberbullied by those authors and a couple of the admins, artists and podficcers highlighted there. After taking my words from (what I thought were) interesting, friendly conversations out of context, one of the soon-to-be RoR admins incited a cybermob with those authors. They targeted me on the Dragon Heart String discord server and ostracized me in the few weeks following in an attempt to push me out of fandom. But I didn’t leave, I stood up for myself and explained how my words were misconstrued. 

After the initial shock, the mods and those that unwittingly participated in the cyber mob apologized. The one that instigated it all was a DHS mod at the time. She never apologized and her mod status was removed. In an attempt to understand server dynamics, the other DHS mods surveyed the community, and it quickly became apparent that bullying was a rampant problem. Many server members were targeted before me, there and on other platforms. To try and stop it, the DHS mods closed down the author-based channels since the bullying stemmed from those authors and their friends and fans. 

Many disagreed with the decision, and the RoR discord opened up a month later with those very same author-based channels that you see today. If you’re wondering why there isn’t much overlap between DHS and RoR, this is why. When I spoke up about my experience on reddit before, I didn’t want to name specific people and I still don’t. But I do think there’s value in warning folks off in a general sense. It’s truly appalling when adult women use their internet clout and lack of consequences to recreate the worst of middle school behavior. Like most moderated spaces, RoR has an anti-bullying policy, but the popular members behave as they choose. None of them have apologized to me or anyone else for their behavior.

Even to this day, they gossip about readers, writers, artists and each other. They bully people on RoR and other platforms. Their behavior has caused many artists, writers and readers to delete their accounts or leave the fandom. Some of the folks bullied by that group reached out to thank me for posting about my experience. 

On to the happy stuff:

A Guide to My Fics 

Innovation, E, WIP, 2/3 chapters posted, a short story written for Bek’s birthday full of snark, banter, sexual tension and hate sex

Summary: Draco and Hermione make each other miserable. But they come to an arrangement eventually.

Escape From Malfoy Manor, E, 70-100K, Choose Your Own Adventure, war AU.

Summary: Hermione wakes up in a prison cell with no memory of how she got there. Will she make it out alive? A fic/art collab with some friends designed to make you laugh, shriek in terror, bite your nails, cringe, and ponder your life choices. With over 35 delightfully gruesome ways for our favorite protagonists to die, this is a great Halloween read.

From Wiltshire, With Love, E, 350K, spy/handler war AU

Summary: Hermione convinces Draco to spy for the Order and she becomes his handler. But what are his true motivations? Hard to say when he's still figuring that out himself.

WINNER: 2022 Top Dramione Fics on Reddit 4th Place Wartime 2nd Place BAMF!Hermione

Shivering With Antici - SAY IT! - pation, E, 20K, smut and snark, an AU in the FWWL universe

Summary: Spying for the Order is taking its toll on Draco. To cheer him up, Hermione brings him to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show to participate in the virgin induction ceremony. 

Draco is not amused.

Blackmailed, E, 48K, smut and snark, 7th year, a surprising plot and gut punch at the end

Summary: Draco finds out something pertaining to the war that Hermione would do anything to prevent from getting out. How far is she willing to go to protect her secret?

WINNER: 2022 Top Dramione Fics on Reddit 2nd Place Dom!Draco (but he's totally a switch here, as is Hermione)

Draco’s Body, E, 11K, demon!Draco, war AU, co-created with art from the amazing @doodleladi 

Summary: The war rages on and changed Draco into something evil.

They All Taste the Same, E, 77K vampire war AU, this one has two endings, based on Hermione’s decision to become a vampire or not. One is MCD, one is HEA. Written in 2010, finished during the pandemic.

Summary: Draco has always wanted Hermione, but a recent change has him wanting her even more.

A Dish Best Served Cold, E, 56K, 8th year, smutty, trope-busting whodunnit, my first ever fanfiction, written in 2010. 

Summary: Somebody is out to get Hermione. Draco gets caught in the middle, and doesn't mind at all!

The Gods Must Be Crazy, drabble collection for the Last Drabble Writer Standing Competition, Greek God prompts, each drabble has a different theme, plot, topic, genre. I highly recommend this competition. It’s good for meeting new friends, and improving your writing!

[afuckingsystemsthoughts]

ik theres a lot of backlash from people about social media being bad and blah blah blah, but id like to provide a reality check for those people.

before social media, people didnt show as much empathy toward neurodivergent, mentally ill and traumatized people. they were seen as broken and needing to be fixed but unable to be fixed. ostracized. seen as crazy and like their feelings and wishes didnt matter. seen as "pitiful" and getting more of condescending treatment than real empathy. the only resource they had to share their voice was person-to-person in the flesh, and back before social media gained traction there was danger to that openness in-person. ridicule, fear and discrimination. this is why people have the "mentally ill or abused people arent open about it if theyre real mentally ill/abused" idea.

before social media, people with rare neurodivergence (intellectual disability, down syndrome, for example) couldnt really meet other people like them. sometimes the closest person with down syndrome was 30 minutes to an hour away from the other. these kids grew up around little to no people like them and in a time where they were dehumanized for having down syndrome. this led to the mass abuse of these kids and other kids with neurodivergence in the 20th century. because they were rare, had no way to band together and make their voice heard, they were seen as the stereotype and mistreated.

before social media, people with rare mental disorders couldnt meet each other outside of a mental health facility, they couldnt band together and make their voice heard. they were left to feel weird, broken and different. and depending on the rare mental disorder, they were made to feel evil, fear themselves and feel guilt for something that wasnt their fault and 8 out of 10 times doesnt make them dangerous to others. the stereotypes on them didnt help. they refused to be open out of guilt and fear of what people would think.

before social media, abuse survivors who were abused in rare, unique, or unconventional situations were ridiculed upon being open about their abuse. they were seen as crazy and like they were making it up, causing all abuse survivors who were open about abuse to have their credibility questioned even today. survivors of mind control and sex trafficking are prime examples. or men abused by women (which goes against societys view of who can abuse and who cant. this view that only men can abuse and only women can be victims existed before internet, maybe even before tv. its dated and false.) but with social media, these people had a safe space where they could hide their identities for safety and meet other people like them. they can feel valid knowing they arent the only ones. and they can raise awareness for all types of abuse, even the seemingly rare situations- they turned out to be more common than people thought.

before social media the silent groups never had a voice, they never had a way to speak for themselves and the people just like them. they never had a tool to fight back against stigma and dismantle societys harmful false stereotypes and ideas. they never had a way of knowing other people like them and that they werent alone, crazy, or broken. they never had a safe space where they could anonymously seek help when seeking help in-person or with their identity known would be dangerous. social media is a tool for good. it has so much positive potential and has been used for these purposes. it has saved lives.

just know every tool meant for good, or has good potential, is going to be used for bad, its going to be infiltrated. yes, theres people who use social media for bad purposes and it has costed lives. there are people who dont have the mentality to use social media because theyre self-centered and competitive, causing them to feel depressed or just bad about themselves in general when they dont get "enough" likes or followers. let me tell you this: there is no ideal amount of likes or followers. social media is not for attention. its for linking people together who otherwise without social media would not be able to make those important connections and interactions. mainly for ostracized stereotyped groups like neurodivergent people and the people with rare mental disorders who more than likely wont meet another person like them in the flesh, offline. however, i am a firm believer that social media isnt a total replacement for offfline in-person interaction- thats just as important and unless you cant socialize in-person because its dangerous for you (like if youre being abused) then dont replace it with social media. have an equal balance of social media and in-person interaction.

we have a tool to make the world better and dismantle societys harmful stereotypes, ideas and constructs. we, civilians, seemingly in no position of power, have all the power we need in our hand when we pick up a smartphone or turn on a tablet or a computer. lets use it for what its intended and make a better world for everyone. focus on the good and turn the lemons into lemonade. social media isnt bad, its how you use it. use it for good, make a change.

[the-pjo-analyst]

Chapter 9 - I Am Offered a Quest

Theme of the day: Responsibility

HOW BOUT THAT NEW BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT HUH

I find it kinda wack that some people are like this new pjo book is a MONEY GRAB like Riordan himself didn't basically say exactly that in the announcement 😂 The sole purpose is to promote the show. Like so what. He can TAKE MY MONEY. LET'S GOOO 🤙🏾

I find it absolutely hilarious that after saving the world twice and also being praetor for a hot sec, New Rome is still like no exceptions lmao. I hope after these quests he finally gets some rest 🙏🏾

Now onto Percy’s very first quest!

The chapter starts out with Percy getting some new responsibilities: now that he’s claimed, he gets his own cabin by himself and automatically becomes head counselor, so he can pick his own activities and call lights out whenever he wants, among other responsibilities. Which normally would be great! But in exchange he’s ostracized once more bc of being the son of Poseidon. He finally found a new home within the camp and in cabin 11 yet he’s lost it all. And also now that he’s claimed, Percy is officially offered a quest, which is a HUGE responsibility in itself without considering the fact that he’s going to the underworld to find Zeus’s symbol of power. The kid’s got a lot on his plate lol.

I swear I pick these themes at random and yet so often find the words in the chapters lmao. This time it’s how the gods aren’t held responsible for the actions of a hero. Which is a little wild when heroes are enlisted by gods to do their bidding. This is another issue that comes up throughout the series, because so often do demigods and mortals get punished for the actions of the gods. I mean take Hera and Zeus for example: Hera takes her anger on the women Zeus seduces/rapes and their subsequent children instead of the man himself for being unfaithful. The gods not being held responsible also extends to their children too, how they’re barely in their children’s lives if at all. I mentioned last post that Poseidon is stated to be using Percy for his own benefit when he hasn’t really made any contact with Percy before (I just thought it was at the end of the book! Not the next chapter ahaha) and Percy is justifiably resentful and angry, but he’s also a little happy that Poseidon needs him. The range of emotions that Percy go through at this time is so real though. Because whether or not their birth parent is in their life or not and how they feel about them, often children will still want to be accepted by them. For now, it seems Percy is postponing his judgment.

I don’t think I’ve ever touched upon Percy’s relationship with his step-father but now seems like a good time for it. Since this is a middle school level series, any domestic abuse is heavily sanitized. There’s only small moments like Gabe immediately taking whatever money Percy has for gambling, his neglect of Percy in general, the fact Percy can easily recognize an alcoholic, stuff like that. Gabe obviously doesn’t take much responsibility for Percy despite being the only father figure he’s ever known so far. It’s hard to say whether Sally and Percy suffered any physically abuse, it can certainly be assumed or hc’ed, but idk I’d like to believe that Sally would draw that line when finding someone who could hide Percy’s demigod presence. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking. I really hate that news article though. It’s not surprising that Gabe would throw Percy under the bus, but I can’t believe the journalist would jump onto that and blame a child for a freak accident and his mom’s disappearance. Ugh.

The prophecy vision Percy has of Gabe at his gambling table gave me a thought. The only other time in the pjo series that Percy is present for a prophecy being given is in the Titan’s Curse when the Oracle visits Zoe Nightshade and shows her Artemis in chains. So maybe the visions have to do with the person’s fears or traumas? Gabe and his gambling buddies would certainly fall into one of those. But also like... why give those kinds of visions. What’s their purpose? It’s no wonder some go insane when visiting the Oracle.

The original trio has been brought together! Reading those final few pages of the chapter was so nostalgic 🥹 Like when Grover’s like I won’t let you down and then Percy’s just SO relieved he not only doesn’t have to face this quest alone, but he gets to have his best friend with him makes me SO SOFT. And ofc we can’t forget Annabeth’s very grand entrance and iconic line if you’re going to save the world I’m the best person to keep you from messing up. Like this is such a perfect moment to end an episode. I will go feral when it happens.

Small things:

Percy’s dream is interesting bc it’s basically the same as the one he had at Montauk, but this time the eagle and horse are replaced with the gods themselves, he’s in a clearer location, and the evil voice Kronos actually speaks 👀

The prophecy line you shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend is really fascinating bc it’s not one you call friend. Like this is someone that  genuinely likes and cares about you but betrays you anyway and I will analyze that later

I wonder if the Oracle had moved to see Percy when he arrived bc she sensed that he specifically would fulfill the Great Prophecy or if it was just bc he was a Big Three child and could fulfill it, and thus end her curse

We get the first uses of Seaweed Brain and Wise Girl! <3

Previous: Chapter 8 - We Capture a Flag

Next: Chapter 10 - I Ruin a Perfectly Good Bus

[shihalyfie]

The meaning of the Beast Spirits in Frontier, and what it means to control it

(On request by @digitalgate02​.)

When you think about it, Frontier can be framed as a story of outcasts or misfits having to accept the idea of “changing themselves” in order to become better people, both literally in the sense of embracing physical transformation, and metaphorically in the sense of making attempts to do better. Implicitly, it speaks a lot as to how quickly these kids accept the idea of turning into something else -- perhaps implying as to how ostracized they’ve felt that such a thing instantly sounds appealing -- but it also adds some interesting layers to the concept of the Beast Spirit and how the difficulty of “controlling it” ties into each character’s personal story.

I think a lot of it has to do with the idea that these kids did have inclinations of being selfish or shallow at the beginning -- while they were full of potential to become heroes, they definitely started off as unlikely misfits at the beginning. In that respect, you can see the Beast Spirits arc as a sort of lesson that great power must be used wisely and responsibility...

Believe it or not, our biggest clue to all of this comes from episode 16, Izumi’s episode. It’s not directly stated in words, and the abstract summary of “determination” is passed off as a joke, but looking at the context clues around the episode indicates that’s actually not far off.

The thing is that Calmaramon is depicted as having the hardest time with her Beast Spirit compared to practically about anyone else in the group, and one of the recurring themes about it is that it’s partially because her personality is downright terrible. If you look at the context clues behind the prior episode (15), you’ll notice that while her looks are briefly brought up as an issue there and in this episode, the part that’s really freaking everyone out (and is making everyone worried Izumi will turn out to be the same) is that they actually saw it have an impact on her personality, where she was clearly conscious and able to talk but also indiscriminately destroying everything and enjoying it. At least in the case of Kouji, Takuya, and Junpei, they can be forgiven because they all did their best to keep it under control after the initial fallout, but Ranamon changing into Calmaramon had also involved her becoming someone actively reveling in senseless destruction. When everyone worries that Izumi might turn out like that, they don’t even bring up looks at all, and they all recoil when she does start showing signs of being destructive anyway.

The thing is, the entire rest of the episode puts a massive spotlight on Izumi’s actions of standing up for the Gomamon and empathizing with their loneliness (which, given the contexts added about Izumi’s background and backstory in episodes 8 and 26, are most likely her feeling that the concept of “being isolated from others no matter how much you want to reach them” hit way too hard for her) to the point she puts her foot down to override the boys’ prior plan of chasing the Toucanmon and their Digivices. She actually faces quite a bit of protest from the boys on this issue, and even admits she’s not sure if her own plan will work, but focuses on the idea of doing her best to undo the whirlpool with her abilities -- that is to say, using her power to protect and help others.

This sentiment of “I have to protect everyone” drives Izumi’s actions for the rest of the episode, to the point it’s the only thought consuming her head right before she finds and claims her Beast Spirit. So to make it clear, at the time she claimed it, the thought of “protecting others” was desperately, single-mindedly consuming her head...

...and the contrast is immediately apparent when Shutumon emerges, and the only thing Ranamon cares about is looks.

In other words, the reason the Beast Spirit wasn’t working out for Ranamon/Calmaramon is that she only wanted the Beast Spirit’s power for the sake of pride, vanity, and dominating others, and because of that, she had difficulty controlling it because it resonated with those feelings -- after all, although she wanted to “control” it to the extent of not carrying her all over the place, she was perfectly fine with the part about causing wanton destruction. Izumi, on the other hand, is clearly holding herself back even after her first evolution to Shutumon -- trying to keep a calm head -- and, after all, her entire motivation had been driven by “helping and protecting others” for the whole episode, so she doesn’t want to let this fail on her now, and she keeps that calm head all the way throughout the rest of it.

When we get to the next episode (17), you’ll also notice that one of the first things Blizzarmon (Tomoki) does is actively attempt to restrain himself. If you look back at what Tomoki’s character arc is about, he’d spent the better part of his past being bullied by others and tossed around, so “overpowering the weak” is the last thing Tomoki ever wants to do (especially given the events of this episode, as well). So, having witnessed the potential consequences of the Beast Spirit with the other boys, it stands to reason that Tomoki would want to avoid “hurting others” so much that restraining this would be a strong priority for him. While it’s commented that it does take his personality out of control a bit, the worst it ever gets is that he seems to be overly elated and cheerful about his defeats, but that’s also in line with Tomoki constantly having been pushed down so much during his life that you can imagine he’s enjoying the opportunity to finally be strong and have the spotlight.

But because he hates the concept of bullying and pushing others down so much, it stands to reason that he wouldn’t really have as much of a problem with that.

So when you look back at the prior episodes with the Beast Spirits with this context, you can see it applying there as well. In episode 14, Junpei was spending the better part of the first half of the episode livid at what was happening to his friends -- absolutely pissed at Grottomon for taking Izumi's spirit (and, despite Izumi's doubts, it's pretty apparent he actually does care about it beyond just having a crush on her), and then upset at the idea of being a sitting duck while Agnimon and Wolfmon are getting tossed around. While Junpei initially has trouble keeping the Spirit under control, the exact moment he gets a grip on himself is the moment he reaffirms his determination to fight for the sake of his friends.

Looking back at the other two episodes about rampaging Beast Spirits in episodes 10 and 12, you can also see why the concept applies there as well. It’s interesting how the “worst” rampage shown among the main protagonist Beast Spirits was not the first one obtained (Garmmon) but the second one (Vritramon), and if you look at the circumstances surrounding them, it doesn’t seem to mean as much about Takuya having any particular stronger tendency towards condescending violence as much as the sheer circumstances that went on behind them:

Kouji obtained his Beast Spirit under the circumstances of already knowing that he needed to protect Gotsumon with that power (and, moreover, having spent the end of the prior episode and the duration of the beginning of this one mulling on Ophanimon’s warning that he’d need to “grow” before he could obtain it). Therefore, “using this power for the desire to protect others” was a huge thought in his head from the very beginning, even though -- presumably partially because this was a first time for everyone -- it threw him off just enough for him to end up exhausting himself.

Takuya obtained his without warning and without proper understanding of what he was dealing with, having had it practically forced on him after Shamamon-as-Vritramon’s defeat, and so, with no context of purpose and no real depth of what he was about to get into, he ended up on a complete destructive rampage. He was snapped out successfully by the need to not hurt someone (Tomoki), and spent the rest of the episode agonizing and mulling over the risks and meaning of having such power before he eventually evolved into Vritramon without too much issue the second time.

So the point is made clear: the “destructive” and “uncontrollable” impulses associated with the Beast Spirits will be sent out of control if the user doesn’t have a strong desire to use it with proper purpose. For Ranamon/Calmaramon, she had the worst time with it because she was the single most obsessed out of the Legendary Warriors to use it to stroke her own ego and vanity, whereas at least the other three Cherubimon-allied ones (besides Duskmon -- see below) were at least capable of using it towards a greater goal, and the remaining five went through the proper outlets of thinking about how this power should be used and how it shouldn’t be used lightly.

While the issue of the Beast Spirits being inherently difficult to control isn’t as prominent as we go later into the series, we do actually see shades of it when we get to the tale of Kouichi/Duskmon/Velgrmon, because while part of it can be chalked up to the power of darkness being consuming, Kouichi, during his first transformation to Velgrmon in episode 30, is only able to talk barely coherently and is really just venting his rage and anger out, presumably because his entire state of mind is locked into all of that, making the rampage even worse. (Also keeping in mind the theme of embracing the idea of changing yourself, you can also think of this in terms of how Kouichi is getting so consumed by his own emotions of anger that he’s become almost completely unrecognizable from his original self.)

Once we get his first “proper” evolution in episode 33, however, Kouichi is abundantly aware of what he’s done and has all of the proper determination to never let such a thing happen again -- so it’s not surprising that his evolution to KaiserLeomon happens with relatively little incident.

[agardenandlibrary]

Alright I spent so long thinking about shields and knights in Tortall that I needed to sit down and re-read Song of the Lioness.

Alanna: The First Adventure

First off, I see where the title "First Test" came from. Or maybe I'm making that up. Just seems like it was a purposeful callback to the OG lady Knight books.

Here they go!!

Use your healing magic. Use it all you can, or you won’t cleanse your soul of death for centuries.

Maude has a lot of wisdom. And she and Coram basically raised the twins! I love the bit where Alanna’s in Roger’s magic class and she thinks “Maude taught us all of this magic, and more complex versions of it, when we were kids.” Maude has seen some stuff. Maude backstory when?

With all his heart Coram Smythesson wished now, as he had in the past, that Alanna were the boy.

He was about to get his wish, in a left-handed way.

All these damn dudes thinking "if only you'd been a boy" and Alanna and Kel going "what does that have to do with anything"

Literally everyone who hears about Lord Alan says “wow, he sucks as a father”. EVERYONE.

Jonathan commands the pages and squires and assigns mentors to show newbies around. He’s used to getting his way and you see that continue throughout this book and series. Even when he “asks” Alanna to be his squire he already told his uncle that she would say yes without ever actually asking her.

Ralon of Malven. Listen. Obviously he’s a bully and literally beats Alanna every chance he gets. He is also completely ostracized by his prince (who he will one day have to serve!) and all his fellow pages and squires. Jon says “I told you never to talk to me.” in the first interaction between them we see. Jon and his gang actually hold him down and beat him as a punishment. Can’t believe re-reading this made me feel bad for Ralon.

George and his collection of ears aljsdfalj. Dude where do you keep those. Do ears dry out? Do you have like... an ear-tanner so they’re not all oozy and gross? does your mom do it for you please i have so many questions.

The Gift! Everyone who has it ignores it! Except Thom and Roger and their attitudes toward their magic is kind of unhealthy, honestly.

The gods really are showing up in this one. Maude has her visions in the fire, Alanna is protected from Roger, Myles has a dream about taking Alanna to Olau, etc. I think Pierce did a really good job of making Kel’s knighthood journey very different.

From a technical standpoint, Pierce peppers in a lot of different perspectives. We jump into Jon’s, George’s, Duke Gareth’s, Myles’, Coram’s - LOTS of points of view, but just for a second and just as a way to show how Alanna is perceived by those around her.

JONATHAN you big dummy. “Roger dared me, a 17 year old, to go to this evil city that kills everyone who enters it because he believed I could take care of it and rid the country of evil :) he’s my favorite cousin and only has my wellbeing in mind :) love that guy :)” me and Alanna, in the background: “that’s what i thought you’d say you stupid prince”

Okay, SO MUCH HAPPENS IN THIS BOOK but I’ll just end with... it’s so funny to me that first-year knights are taking squires. Please. That’s an 18 year old and a 14 year old. First year knights know basically nothing. What are y’all doing.

[yuyupowers]

aristocrat!seonghwa

aristocrat!seonghwa x fem!reader

genre: fluff

trigger warning(s): patriarchal society mostly. let me know if there’s anything else!

author’s note: none of the pictures are mine!!

for reference, i’m using british peerage (hierarchy). there are five ranks: baron, viscount, earl (count), marquess, and duke - the highest being duke, and the lowest, baron.

second son of a duke

i imagine seonghwa to be someone who values tradition

unlike hongjoong who finds who finds the numerous aristocratic mannerisms pointless, hwa believes upholding these (rather stringent) rules is a sign of respect

perfect gentleman pt.1

excellent in swordsmanship, horse-back riding, and hunting

well versed in poetry, literature, art, and finance

(can maintain a conversation about politics but honestly it kinda goes over his head)

a bit on the shyer side, but a decent conversationalist

good at keeping the flow and mediating in case anyone becomes a little too heated about their opinions

definitely cares about his and his family’s image

naturally caring and tends to dote on those close to him

(translates into excellent manners)

holds the door open, offers his hand when stepping out of carriages, makes sure to walk on the side closest to traffic, diverts conversation when things are too “distressing,” wouldn’t be caught dead alone with a woman that wasn’t related to him or his fiancée/wife

and surprise, surprise !!

this is where you come in

you’re the second oldest daughter, fourth child out of six; born to an earl

hwa’s family had the highest title bestowed upon aristocracy

whereas your family accumulated more wealth and land than the park family

and since both you and hwa were prime marrying age™, your parents decided upon a mutually beneficial marriage

the first time you met seonghwa was under the watchful eye of both your parents, when the park’s invited your family for dinner

tbh, you were pretty relieved when you met him

“prime marrying age” was different for men, so you were just glad he wasn’t some old geezer

and he seemed like a decent person !!

a well put together gentleman, and his image was only consolidated throughout dinner

all in all, you didn’t have much to complain about from the initial impression

though it was kinda annoying when your little sister would not shut up about how he was the handsome man she’s ever met

even if you agreed

and didn’t she say that when she met woo?

anyways

after the first meeting with the park’s, both your parents set up multiple occasions for you two to meet

whether that be evening walks, picnics in the park, etc,,,

you learned a great deal about seonghwa 

how his favourite is black, how he loved the stars and that his favourite planet was mars

how he loved kids and doted on your youngest siblings (much to your sister’s glee)

how he enjoyed spending a quiet afternoon with you reading dickens, discussing afterwards the contrast between carton and darnay

how he was always considerate of your feelings and opinions

you liked to think you were a decent judge of character and thought overall that seonghwa was a kind and caring person

but you also noticed a few characteristics that-

you wouldn’t say it was off-putting or anything but,,,

it might bother you in the future

see, you were pretty good friends with hongjoong

and while you weren’t as extreme,

(you didn’t sneak out weekly to hang out with a bar maiden that you definitely did not have a crush on)

you certainly agreed with him on certain points

like hwa, you thought that abiding by certain mannerisms = display of respect

but unlike him, you didn’t care all that much about your image

okay, that was a lie.

you couldn’t say you didn’t care about your image

(social ostracization isn’t exactly fun ya feel)

but you thought it was,,,exhausting

it’s one thing to be respectful, but it’s another thing to say things you don’t mean

to fake humility

to undermine people that are supposed to be your “friends” or “one of you”

to be perfect, when “perfect” was such a subjective term anyways

it just felt so fake and that left a bitter taste in your mouth

even now, you could see all the efforts seonghwa made to constantly keep his image of a “perfect gentleman”

with perfect mannerisms and perfect answers and perfect-

yeah, it kinda frustrated you

not to mention how obedient he was?

of course you didn’t fault him for being a dutiful and filial son, but his loyalty blinded him

and it wasn’t like his parents were bad people !!

no, you’d say they were much kinder than the average noble family

especially considering their status

but when they made important decisions for their son without consulting him,

(because they were more experienced, because they knew better, etc,,,)

and he accepted whatever decision they handed to him?

well,,,

nevertheless, despite being his fiancée, you, by this point, had realistically had known seonghwa for a couple months

and you didn’t feel like it was your place 

(at least not yet)

to point this out

so the two of you continued your cordial but emotionally distant meetings

that is until “the incident” (as hwa fondly likes to call it)

okay, so-

one day you paid hwa a visit and the two of you decided to take a walk in his family’s garden

chattering about this and that

a lovely time !!

it was a bit overcast, but it didn’t look too threatening

so the two of you ignored the clouds looming in the horizon and wandered deep into the garden

big mistake

the weather took a turn for the worst, and soon it was pouring

by this point seonghwa was a little panicked

he knew that for women, getting ready could be excessively long and tenuous task

(courtesy of his little sister’s complaints)

and now !! you were getting rained on !! because he didn’t bring an umbrella !! just in case !!

!!!!

he turns to you, ready to shield you with his jacket and lead you back to the manor

but he’s at a loss by what he sees

he had expected you to be upset, to huddle closer to him, to,,,idk, maybe reprimand him for this thoughtlessness??

but instead, he finds you staring up at the dark sky, eyes shimmering with barely contained glee with the biggest smile he’s ever seen from you adorning your lips

he likes your smile

and if he was already confused (he was), he was about to become even more so

because the next thing he knows, you’re hiking your dress in one hand and grabbing his in the other, running through puddles of water and mud and everything in between, laughter falling from you like the rain

up until this point, you had been acting like the perfect (you hate that word) lady

polite, demure, charming-

in public settings, you only spoke when spoken to, with a voice that was purposely soft and soothing

you chatted with his mother and sisters about traditionally feminine things over tea with impeccable manners

whenever you two met, you were always prim and proper; never a strand of hair out of place

but here you were, getting not only yours but his clothes soggy and muddy, laughing without a care about how pleasant it sounded or how loud it was

seonghwa liked to think he wasn’t a judgemental person-

he wasn’t repulsed or anything by your sudden change in demeanor

just.

really confused

and when you looked back, you could tell,if his expression was anything to go by

but your grin only grew wider, because you could work with this

he wasn’t enjoying himself per say; a bit too confused and bit too stiff to do so

but he wasn’t horrified or disgusted

okay maybe he was a little grossed out; he liked to be clean thank you very much

you could work with this.

and so over the next few months, you showed him things he never dreamed of doing

some of which he liked, some of which he didn’t

some he was willing to try, some, less

like sneaking into the restricted section of the library (he’s never been so scandalized in his life)

or visiting the kitchen in the middle of the night so you could teach him how to make some basic recipes (which he surprisingly enjoyed)

or meeting hongjoong

(“of COURSE it matters if they got the colour wrong?! lord help me you’re the most insufferable person i’ve ever met-”)

and the more the two of you explored, the more he,,,real he became.

and vice versa.

gradually, the mask of perfection he worked so on hard to maintain was slipping before you

don’t get me wrong, he’s still kind and caring and a gentleman

but sometimes he would whine and complain when you encouraged him to do something he was less than enthusiastic about (usually something that involved getting him messy)

or he made The Face™ (the disgusted one) to you and when he didn’t like something or someone

or he would be stupidly stubborn about some random fact that you KNEW was wrong but he just WOULDN’T admit if even when you showed him proof

(“seonghwa for the last time toads don’t give you war-” “LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” “eye-”)

once, he even playfully stole the strawberry from your cake

(big mistake. he’s never doing that again. he never knew a woman could move so fast or be so scary.)

it made you so, so happy because the two of you were finally getting to know each other

actually know each other

then one day, while the two of you were reading underneath a tree at the park

“,,,hey love?” (hwa)

“yes?”

“why are we doing this?” 

“what do you mean, dear?”

“i mean,,,i’m not complaining, but i guess,,,why did you decide to show me this part of you? the part that runs around in the rain?” hwa

you don’t reply right away

instead, you shut your book and idly stared at the willow swaying over the pond, wind running its fingers through its drooping leaves

after a few moments of silence

“,,,i wanted to know you and what you believed in. actually believed in.”

seonghwa tilts his head slightly to the side

“love, i hardly think my convictions have changed”

“but do you know what your convictions are?”

and you know when you hear something that resonates with you?

something that strikes deep in your core and makes you rethink everything you’ve know?

yeah,,,this is one of those moments

now it was seonghwa’s turn to set his book aside, falling deep in thought

after an unnaturally long stretch of silence, you began to panic a little

because ?? maybe you misread the situation and got a little too comfortable-

cause i mean you were questioning his core values, which is something he takes very seriously

o god you messed up didn’t you o crap you need to apolog-

“will you help me figure it out?”

“,,,huh??”

“will you help me figure out my convictions?” he asked

and you swear, you’ve never seen such a smile from seonghwa

one that conveyed a plethora of emotions, ranging from honesty and vulnerability, to confusion and loss, to lightness and warmth

it filled you with an unnameable feeling

like something sliding into place, fitting perfectly; like it was always meant to be there, filling you with comfort

shyly intertwining your hands for the first time, you looked up to meet his gaze with a pattering heart and a smile matching his own

“,,,of course.”

[kiingocreative]

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I am heavily motivated by the idea of helping people. I have a tiny bit of a hero complex. In fact, I don’t understand people who don’t. I feel if we all helped each other, we could make the world better. It’s why I became a teacher. What better way to help the future generations than to educate them? Except for one problem—a tiny problem…ok a BIG problem—I don’t like kids who aren’t my own and the idea of lesson planning makes me want to chop off my own foot. (Of course, I didn’t know that about myself until my first year in my own classroom.)

I love writing. More than anything else I have ever done, I LOVE it. But there is always that small voice telling me I’m not helping anyone. I always had this idea that I had a larger purpose in life and I would help make other people’s lives better. How does writing do that? I’m just putting down words and people might not even read them.

Does that sound familiar? Are you ever hit with the feeling of “I like this but what is my PURPOSE?” It can be kind of debilitating, can’t it? It’s caused me to second guess everything about my future goals. Well, if you are like me and feel un-useful in pursuit of what seems like a selfish career choice, let me convince you otherwise.

Do you know what held the world together at the beginning of the pandemic? I mean… in my opinion at least. Netflix. Especially Tiger King. And books. And games. And entertainment. But especially Tiger King (Carol Baskins definitely killed her husband, guys).

During a traumatic time of fear, having stories that made us feel less alone and helped us forget the problems for a little while was exactly what the doctor ordered. Stories help take us out of our fear and let us escape for a little while.

Stories also help us deal with our problems. It is so much easier to admit your flaws when you find them in a fictional character. It is easier to process feelings that don’t seem to be happening to you. Stories help you process negative emotions you might otherwise avoid.

Stories show us we are not alone. I had a difficult childhood. No one in my community seemed to understand me because of it. I was ostracized. But then I found books like The Boxcar Children or A Series of Unfortunate Events and I realized I wasn’t the one person alive going through terrible events. Even if the characters are fictional, it still showed me that my experiences were not unique. Others like me do exist. That realization helped me walk through hell with my head held high because at least I wasn’t the only person in there.

Stories can invoke deep thought. If you think about any famous dystopian they serve to warn us about possible futures. They point out the flaws in society and help us to uncover the truths between the lines.

Stories are so powerful.

All writing is powerful. If you write non-fiction, you have the power to completely change someone’s life and help them learn things they never could have without you. So powerful!

Writing is done alone. And it can feel kind of selfish.

But it is so necessary.

Darling writer, YOU are necessary. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

[bbangsoonie]

creker academy

member: eric genre: fluff (ft some angst), fantasy au word count: 6,182 synopsis: after finally triggering your hidden powers, fate lands you at creker academy, a special boarding school meant for shapeshifters. there, you learn how to control your abilities and that opposites do indeed attract.

The day you found out that you were adopted was the day your life fell apart. The secret was hidden from you until your uncle coldly drew the line at your parents’ funeral. He told you that he had no intention of taking responsibility for his brother’s actions and that you were no longer a part of the family.

That was how you ended up living alone in a tiny half-basement studio. You barely managed to afford the deposit and rent with the consolation money you received from the funeral.

Every day, Hyunjoon would come knocking at your door and every day, you would turn him away. It had only been a month since you became independent and the scar of losing your parents was still fresh. You were also too ashamed to face your friends. You didn’t want their pity and so you hid away in isolation.

On the night of your birthday, the pain became too unbearable. Although you aged another year, you were still only a teenager. Granted, you were in your last year of high school but you were still a minor. Having to fend for yourself in this harsh world was too much for you to handle.

As you cried yourself to sleep, you could feel a cold coming. The heat from your headache spread to the rest of your body and you felt yourself burning up.

After you bought some medicine from the pharmacy, you slipped into a deep slumber. Your dreams were wildly vivid. You dreamt of an enchanted forest that enticed you to take refuge in its comfort. There, animals of all species ran free and in harmony. It promised you acceptance and a home.

“It’s time you learn of your identity,” a soft voice spoke.

As soon as the whisper tickled your ears, the entire forest was up in flames. Strangely, you weren’t struck with fear. Rather, you felt empowered.

“Y/n, you need to learn how to control yourself,” the voice warned.

It was only then that you started to panic. The flames were engulfing everything in sight and all the animals were running for their lives.

“Y/n, you have to wake up. Now,” the voice commanded.

With that, your eyes shot open. To your horror, the scene in your dreams reflected the view in front of you. Your house was on fire and you were slowly getting cornered by the heat. Frightened, you look to the door only to see it consumed by the blaze.

“Trust your instincts, Y/n,” the voice in your head cooed. “Let your body take control.”

Bewildered, you had no idea what that meant. All you knew was that you had to get out of there. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to think of a solution. When you reopened them, the room seemed to be a lot bigger than normal. At that moment, you saw the window cracked open. It was your only hope.

Your body felt different when you stood up.

“Why am I so short all of a sudden?” you wondered.

You looked down and almost screamed when you saw paws instead of your feet. Except a meow came out of your throat instead.

You didn’t have time to freak out about it. Feeling something hot graze your tail, you jumped up and landed on the window sill. Your innate desire for survival kicked in and you squeezed through the opening to escape.

Once you felt fresh air in your lungs again, you ran. And ran. And ran. You didn’t know why or where you were going, but something in you told you to run. Your legs kept sprinting until they reached the forest that appeared in your dream. They came to a slow stop when you realized where you were.

“What is this place?” you pondered.

“This is the border between our world and the human world,” a woman in white suddenly emerged from the trees. “You are now about to cross into our territory.”

It was the same voice from your dream. Trying to grasp the situation, you opened your mouth to ask a million questions. But again, a meow replaced your voice.

“It’ll be easier for you to transition back once you're on our grounds,” she assured. She bent down and gestured for you to jump into her arms.

Not seeing any other option, you hesitantly took her offer. With you safely in her embrace, she passed through a translucent wall that revealed what looked like a huge campus. Your jaw dropped as you observed your surroundings. There were students walking around the magical place. You saw a girl tending the garden and gasped when her hands hovered above the flowers to revive them.

The woman brought you to an office you presumed to be hers and placed you in front of a mirror. Your shriek came out as a cute yelp and she chuckled.

“I-I’m a cat!” you thought.

“There’s an outfit you can change into once you return to your human form,” she pointed at the black dress neatly prepared on the table.

The second she finished her sentence, you felt a bare sensation. Looking down, you screeched at your naked body. Embarrassed and horrified, you quickly clothed yourself with the dress.

“W-What’s going on?” you asked, relieved to finally hear your own voice again.

“I’m sure you felt different from others your whole life?” she asked. It sounded more like a statement rather than a question.

She wasn’t wrong. All your life, you never felt like you fitted in anywhere. Maybe your body knew you were adopted before your mind did and ostracized itself. Or maybe you truly were different. You had weird talents that other kids thought were freaky, making you hide them and become introverted. For instance, you were suspiciously good at starting fires from scratch at summer camp and didn’t feel any pain when your shirt accidentally caught on fire.

“I know this must be shocking to you but you’re special, Y/n. We’ve been waiting for you. Waiting for you to trigger your powers to bring you here,” she smiled.

“My what?” you gaped.

“Your powers. What you just did back at your old house and right now. You’re a shapeshifter, Y/n. A shapeshifter with the element of fire,” she explained.

“I’m a what now?” you scoffed in disbelief.

“Creker Academy is a school and home for students just like you. It’s a place meant to train you how to control your powers. Without our guidance, you’ll lead down a path of self-destruction.”

Baffled by her words, you stared in silence. There was no way any of this was true. Surely this had to be a dream.

“This isn’t a prank or a dream, Y/n. You’ve finally found where you belong,” she clarified.

Belong. You had never felt like you really belonged anywhere. But now, someone was telling you that you belonged with them. That they wanted you there. That they had been waiting for you.

“I understand you must feel overwhelmed. But there are procedures to follow so I’m afraid you will have to begin your tour first. A fellow student will be arriving soon to show you around.”

As if on cue, a boy around your age knocked on the door and came in after receiving the woman’s permission to enter.

“Hello, Headmaster,” he bowed.

“Eric, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is Eric. He will be helping you adjust here,” she introduced.

Eric was bright eyed and eager to meet a new friend. You, on the other hand, were quite reserved and uncomfortable in your new environment.

He was excitedly pointing out the purpose of each room you passed by and rambled on about the social norms of the boarding school. You learned that on top of academics, there were classes on virtues and physical training. And of course, classes that taught you how to properly use and contain your powers.

The use of magic was strictly prohibited inside any and all buildings. Students could practice their skills outside but were forbidden from any acts that could potentially put someone or something at risk. That was the one rule that was rigidly enforced and obeyed.

“So what animal and element are you?” he curiously pried. “I’m a dog with the element of water.”

“I’m… apparently a cat,” you felt ridiculous saying it aloud. “And control fire.”

“Ah, you’re a member of the fire element,” he nodded. “What that means is that your element rivals with mine. Some people see fire elements as hotheaded, impulsive, and extreme. Water elements are sometimes emotional, sensitive, and antisocial. But those are all just stereotypes, of course. Not everyone fits into the standard. I, for one, am very outgoing. And your animal obviously plays a role in your personality. I guess the dog in me overpowers the water.”

You had moved on from the indoor portion of the tour to the outside part. He was showing you the garden you had passed by earlier. It was full of flowers that wouldn’t be in bloom this season in the normal world.

“I’m a strong believer in that there are good traits about each element. For example, fire elements are passionate, inspirational, and expressive. They’re arguably the most fun people you’ll ever meet. Water elements are empathetic, imaginative, and loving. But again, all this is relative and doesn’t accurately describe each person,” he reminded. “The only reason there’s still a stupid feud is because some people love sticking to the status quo and labeling others.”

“What are the other elements? Air and earth?”

“Yup! Air elements are independent, talkative, fickle, and nonconformists. Most likely social butterflies. Earth elements are disciplined, loyal, organized, and judgemental. Oftentimes the leader.”

Eric greeted a male student who was passing by with two other boys. He exchanged smiles with the three of them who offered you a kind nod of acknowledgement.

“That was Sangyeon. He’s a bear. On his left is Jacob, a rabbit. The one on the right is Younghoon, who’s also a dog like me. They’re all earth elements,” he disclosed. “Sangyeon is the class representative of our grade. Definitely fits the leader stereotype.”

You couldn’t get over how thrilled he was to be your tour guide. He was filling you in on even the little details of the social life at the academy. He told you about how transfer students were rare and that it was his first time seeing a new student.

His vibrancy contrasted your somber aura. If he noticed, he didn’t comment on it. He was having too much fun getting to know you.

“Oh! That’s Hyunjae and Juyeon,” Eric suddenly pointed at a pair of boys on a morning run. He waved at the two who waved back before speeding up.

“The one with brown hair is Hyunjae, a wolf and fire element. His real name is Jaehyun but he changed it to Hyunjae once he got to Creker Academy. Juyeon’s the one with black hair and is a cat like you. Except he’s a water element like me,” he grinned. “They’re my best friends. Oh, and this guy named Sunwoo who’s a raccoon with the element of fire. As you can see, water and fire elements can get along fine and well. So don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise.”

By the time he was done showing you around, a bell rang and students began to convene inside. Eric explained that the bell was signaling the beginning of classes and brought you to his homeroom.

“Breakfast is buffet style and self served. It’s up to you to wake up and come down to eat. The cafeteria remains open for an hour until that bell rings and we have to get to class,” he said you entered.

Looking around for an empty seat, his face lit up when he spotted one. He sat at his desk and tapped on the one behind him to let you know that it was yours to take.

You still hadn’t processed all that’s happened since dawn. Everything felt like a haze. Nevertheless, you found yourself paying attention when the teacher walked in. He scanned the room to find a new face and smiled when he made eye contact with you.

“Alright, guys. I’m happy to announce that we have a new student that will be joining us starting today,” he beckoned for you to come up to the front of the classroom.

You wanted to shrivel up and crawl into a hole. Feeling your classmates gazes on you, you gulped and began to sweat. You were never a fan of attention. You quickly introduced yourself before rushing back to your seat, eliciting giggles from a few students. Your cheeks heated up and you felt that burning tingle again.

The awkwardness made you transform back into a cat, making your classmates gasp. Their intensified stares made the tips of your fur ignite, alarming the teacher who tried to calm you down.

“Well I guess she’s a fire cat,” a girl snickered.

Eric shot her a glare before leaning in to ask if you wanted him to put the fire out with his water. Not knowing what else to do, you nodded and the next thing you knew, you were drenched.

So much for your first day.

You ran out of the room before you could change back into a human. You fled but didn’t know where to go. You grew anxious, desperately hoping you wouldn’t end up flashing anyone.

“Hey!” someone called out. You turned around to see a male approaching you. Panicking, you dove into a bush.

“You’re the newbie, right?” he asked, taking something out of his bag. He dug out a large t-shirt and a pair of shorts and placed them in front of you. “I usually carry around a spare outfit in case of emergencies. I hope you don’t mind the fit.”

You were still in your animal form so you peaked your head out to look at him.

“My name’s Chanhee. Air element penguin,” he squatted down to meet your eyes. “Everyone’s first day is rough. You’re not the only one who’s had incidents like this so try not to feel so bad about it.”

He stood to go back to class, leaving you to change in privacy once you returned to your normal body. Your hair was still wet as you dragged yourself back to the headmaster’s office.

The headmaster looked at you with pity when you walked in looking worn out. You didn’t have to tell her for her to know what happened.

“How about I show you to your dorm?” she warmly suggested. Anything was better than returning to the classroom.

Due to your late enrollment, you were assigned a single room as opposed to the traditional double rooms. You were glad you didn’t have to go through the process of meeting and getting used to a roommate. It was a small but cozy space and the closet was filled with clothes.

You realized all of your belongings were probably burned down in your old home. Now you really didn’t have anything to go back to.

Before the headmaster left to allow you to settle in, she insisted that you join your classmates for lunch later. You wanted to say that you just wanted to stay in your room but her stern look had you close your mouth.

So you begrudgingly made your way to the cafeteria and gawked at the amount of students packed inside. Feeling them stare at you, you tried to ignore their whispers as you grabbed a tray of food. To your relief, you saw Eric motioning you over and went to go sit down next to him.

His group of friends was fairly large. You saw the boys he had named earlier that day and were surprised to see Chanhee again.

“Hi! I’m Changmin,” one enthusiastically waved. “I’m an air squirrel.”

“Haknyeon, air pig,” another raised his hand.

“My animal is a hamster and my element is water. You can call me Kevin,” the last one smiled.

After shyly exchanging greetings with everyone, you poked at the rice on your plate. The food was undeniably better than the food served at your old school. However, thinking about your old school made your stomach drop as you thought of the friends you left behind. You were sure Hyunjoon was worried sick about you.

“Do you hate water? And have you always hated water? I would assume you don’t like it very much as a cat and fire element,” Changmin looked at you with sparkling eyes that displayed his curiosity.

“Yeah I actually never learned how to swim. I guess that explains why. I never had a reason when my friends asked me about it,” you mused. In hindsight, your unreasonable hatred and fear of water made sense.

“Interesting, interesting,” he nodded.

Like that, the next couple of months flew by. You were put on an intensive program to catch up with your peers and received one-on-one tutoring to help you learn how to shapeshift at will. You could now easily turn into a cat but still had trouble returning to your human form.

To your dismay, you were denied communication with the outside world. The headmaster was very much against risking having the academy and everyone’s identities exposed. Which meant that you weren’t allowed to contact anyone from your previous life.

One good thing was that you were no longer the hot topic of the school. People’s interest in you died down when you didn’t reciprocate theirs.

You grew close to Eric and his group of friends. They were an interesting bunch. Each of them were uniquely chaotic.

Eric was the exact opposite of you. Literally. As a water element dog, his personality contrasted your fiery cat. Everything from your food tastes to fashion style were different. Yet, you felt the most comfortable with him. He brought light into your life and made adjusting to your new school easier.

You were also always at odds with Juyeon. Although you were both cats, he was everything you weren’t. He was sweet but you just didn’t match on so many things. This meant for a very awkward but pleasant friendship.

You got along best with Chanhee. His air side complemented your fire and he quickly became your closest friend. He was both sassy and caring and you appreciated his endless concern and support for you.

Changmin was a wild card. He and Sunwoo wrecked havoc everywhere they went as Younghoon and Haknyeon incited them while Kevin and Jacob were trying their best to prevent them from destroying the campus. Sangyeon and Hyunjae, who were usually busy with student council matters, were the only ones who could calm everyone down but sometimes chose to enjoy the mayhem.

“Did you guys hear the rumors?” Sunwoo bursted through the classroom door panting. “The headmaster is considering an overnight field trip for the seniors!”

Jaws dropped and gasps spread throughout the students. The room was immediately in a buzz as everyone was shocked and excited at the possibility of leaving the sealed territory. It had been 5 years since students were allowed a trip in the outside world.

The homeroom teacher came in and hushed everyone to quiet down. He couldn’t hide the smile that forced its way onto his face after seeing how happy his students looked.

“Is it true we might get a senior trip?” Haknyeon impatiently asked.

“I cannot comment on that. An official announcement will be made later today,” the teacher said.

“That’s not a no!” Younghoon squealed.

True to his words, the headmaster’s voice was heard over the PA system before the dismissal bell. She congratulated the seniors on their hard work and announced that they would be given the opportunity to sign up to spend 3 days and 2 nights on a cruise.

The entire floor of students erupted into cheers and you heard footsteps run across as they barged into classrooms to find their friends and rejoice together. Changmin came into your classroom dragging Kevin and Juyeon behind him.

“Guys, I can’t believe it! It’s been forever since I last saw humans,” Changmin gushed.

“The whole point of us going on a private boat is to ensure that we don’t have any run-ins with humans,” Kevin reminded.

“Yeah but I’m sure we’d pass by them on our way there,” Changmin rolled his eyes.

Sangyeon, Hyunjae, and Jacob strolled in, greeting your group of friends with a nod of acknowledgment. They waited as the rest of you gathered your stuff to leave together.

“Everyone’s going, right? Y/n, you too?” Eric asked.

“Umm,” you hesitated as you looked at their expectant eyes. “I honestly don’t know if it’d be a good idea… I’m still not in complete control over my powers.”

“Aw but Y/n! You can’t miss out on this once in a lifetime trip with all of us!” Sunwoo whined.

“Yeah, it’ll be your last time leaving campus before graduating! Plus, it’ll be your first and last major bonding experience with our class,” Younghoon pouted.

“I know how hard fire can be to control. If you want, I can stay with you and try to help you detect signs of distress before it manifests itself,” Hyunjae offered.

“And I‘ll be next to you to put out any accidents!” Eric beamed.

“You know I always have extra clothes in my bag,” Chanhee added.

You couldn’t say no to the 11 pairs of pleading eyes. They all so desperately wanted you to go with them that it warmed your heart. It hadn’t even been long since you first met them but they always treated you like you were with them from the start.

So you added your name to the list of students and that was how you ended up dragging your suitcase to the giant cruise ship. Haknyeon was bouncing in excitement next to you as the throng of high schoolers slowly made their way inside.

Room assignments were the same as back at the academy, which meant that you were in a single by yourself again. Changmin expressed his envy as Chanhee happily pulled him into their shared room.

Once you were unpacked, you headed to the deck and admired the seascape. The ship was already sailing into the vast ocean and the endless horizon felt so freeing. Leaning on the handrails, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The salty smell brought back memories of visiting the beach with your parents.

You felt someone join you but didn’t open your eyes. You could tell by their footsteps that it was Eric.

“Enjoying the change in environment?” he asked.

“Makes me a bit nostalgic,” you said as you opened your eyes.

The wind was strong and the waves were violently crashing into the sides of the boat. With the sun glistening in the water’s reflection, you squinted a bit to appreciate the scenery in front of you.

“Isn’t the view so pretty?” you sighed in content. You didn’t notice that he wasn’t looking at the sea. Instead, he was staring at you.

“Yeah. Extremely pretty,” he found himself saying with a soft smile.

To Eric’s slight annoyance, Sunwoo came and tactlessly interrupted the moment to tell you two to meet everyone else at the pool. He was raving about the jacuzzi next to it and eagerly tugged at Eric’s sleeve to hurry him up.

Younghoon was already shoving Hyunjae’s head underwater when you arrived. Jacob waved at you from the chaise lounge and you sat down next to him. Giggling, you watched Sangyeon climb on top of both of them as Juyeon egged him on. Changmin and Chanhee were relaxing in the jacuzzi while Kevin and Haknyeon were piling food on their plates at the snack bar.

Eric was thrown into the pool thanks to Sunwoo’s push and he emerged to the surface screaming and laughing. Using his powers to add more pressure, he splashed Sunwoo with water, who ran off shrieking.

“Do you not like the water as well?” you turned around to face Jacob.

“I don’t necessarily dislike it but I don’t really like it either,” he shrugged. “I don’t mind jumping in if the guys tell me to join.”

“Do you hate the water or are you afraid of it?” Haknyeon asked as he and Kevin took a seat next to you.

“I guess both?” you answered.

“You know, contrary to popular belief, I’m actually not that fond of large bodies of water either,” Kevin said as he offered Jacob a bite of his pizza. “Pretty weird for a water element, huh?”

“Hey, hey, we don’t stick to stereotypes. We are all individuals with personalities and preferences unique to our own character,” Jacob chided.

“Oh how I love confirmation biases,” Haknyeon joked.

You had to admit it was pretty interesting to see how each person matched and defied their element and animal characteristics. It was like taking a personality test and fervently agreeing with the parts that were true and blatantly ignoring the parts that weren’t.

The rest of the day was spent fooling around and playing games. There was never a dull moment with the boys. They were always in high spirits and full of energy.

Even at dinner, your table was the loudest one. Juyeon had been sneakily stealing a few bites of fish off of Haknyeon’s plate, who took great offense when he finally noticed. Meanwhile, Eric was bargaining with Younghoon for his chicken. At the mention of chicken, Hyunjae joined in on the negotiation of the last piece of meat.

So far, you haven't had a risky moment with either your element or animal. You were in complete control and didn’t need guidance—although Chanhee remained by your side just in case. When you made it back to your room to call it a night, you were relieved and proud that the trip was going smoothly without any hiccups.

Perhaps you spoke too early.

In one of the rooms down the hall, a girls’ night had turned awry. One of the girls, a water element, began crying and started a waterflow that got out of hand. The more she panicked and tried to stop it, the higher the water rose. It quickly seeped into the hallway and into other rooms.

With her friends screaming at her to make it stop, it only escalated with a loud whoosh as the door broke open from the pressure. Now in full panic mode, the girls shrieked and realized that the place was flooding from the inside out.

They trudged through the rising water to flee, banging on doors on their way out. Doors swung open as students woke up from the commotion.

By the time Juyeon finally managed to wake Eric up from his deep sleep, the water was nearly up to the bed. The roommates freaked out, wondering what the heck was going on. Juyeon quickly grabbed his bag and hurried Eric to leave.

On their way out, however, they saw that your door was still closed.

“Shit, Y/n can’t swim,” Eric gasped.

“The water’s not that deep yet. Let’s get her out while it’s still walkable,” Juyeon said as he threw his bag down and started walking towards your room.

Meanwhile, you were still sound asleep. You were startled awake by the pounding. When you registered the situation, the fear made you shift into a cat before you could get up and unlock the door. You anxiously glanced at the closed door as the water began to climb up your body.

Outside, Eric felt a pit form in his stomach. Getting worried, he decided to break your door open. With the help of Juyeon, he barely slammed the heavy wood down by mustering up all the strength he had.

“Y/n!” he yelled when he finally saw you.

You were struggling to keep your head above the water and it was getting harder by the second to not breathe in the liquid. He rushed to pick you up and kept you afloat even when he stumbled. The waves were now reaching his chest.

Juyeon transformed into his cat form to swim as Eric trekked through the hall. You were clinging onto him and Eric was holding onto you tightly as well. You could feel him pant and his heart beat fast. Tucked under his arm, you looked up to see beads of sweat falling from his forehead.

Your own heart skipped a beat at the sight. You could tell how much he cared for you. He made you feel wanted. Needed. Important.

You two were polar opposites but still complemented each other so well. He was the optimism you lacked and you were his rock. You kept him grounded and he made you laugh.

When you finally escaped to the deck, Juyeon stepped away to change back into a human and put on clothes. Your friends crowded around you, Younghoon drying you off with a towel and Chanhee placing a clean outfit next to you.

“Alright, everyone, settle down,” the headmaster called out, turning heads. “I’m glad you’re all safely out but it’ll take some time to drain the water. Please calmly stay in groups until we sort everything out.”

Thanks to your months of training, you were now able to sense when your transformation was about to occur. You grabbed the clothes with your mouth and ran off before you could flash anyone. You sheepishly returned wearing one of Chanhee’s pajama shirts and with water still dripping from your hair.

“Y/n!” Sunwoo dramatically whined, jumping you for a hug. Displeased, Eric peeled him off of you and handed you another towel.

“Thanks, Eric,” you smiled. “For… everything.”

“No problem,” he grinned as he ruffled your head.

“Thank God these two got you out safe and sound,” Sangyeon sighed in relief. You apologized for worrying everyone, to which Hyunjae insisted that you had no reason to feel sorry.

Luckily, the next day was not as eventful. A dinner party was prepared for the last night on the cruise and you got to dress up and have fun. You enjoyed a relaxing time in the ballroom with music playing from the speakers and the boys embarrassing themselves on the dance floor.

You giggled as you watched Changmin ask his crush for a dance after Chanhee quite literally pushed his friend to approach her. It was sweet to see both of them all shy in each other’s arms.

Juyeon nudged Eric and nodded in your direction to ask if he was going to ask you to dance as well. When Eric pretended not to know what he was talking about, Sunwoo joined in to tease him.

“Come on, bro. We all know you like her. Just hurry up and make a move already,” Sunwoo snickered.

“Ooh are we talking about Y/n?” Hyunjae came after eavesdropping.

“I hate you guys,” Eric rolled his eyes as he tried to hide his blush.

Learning from Chanhee, Sunwoo shoved his best friend towards you and fled after he bumped into you. Shooting him a glare, Eric silently swore at him with his eyes. He cringed before turning around to face you.

He felt his breath being stolen away when his eyes met yours. You were absolutely stunning. The glimmer of the chandelier shining on your enhanced your features and he found himself lost in your orbs.

From a few tables away, Kevin and Jacob had joined the other three guys to fanboy over the interaction. Juyeon whispered “he’s totally whipped” to Sunwoo who failed to hold back his laughter. Eric, however, didn’t even notice. He was too busy gaping at you.

“Uhh is there something on my face?” you asked, bringing your palm to your cheek. You were slightly self conscious at his intense staring.

“Beauty,” he blurted. Trying to play it cool, he acted confident and ignored the burst of laughter from his friends. You felt your face heat up at his comment and awkwardly coughed as you looked away.

“Y-You look great too,” you stuttered.

On his way to pour himself some more punch, Chanhee loudly told you to just dance with Eric. He passed by and continued to walk towards the drinks without a care as to how flustered he left you two. Your friends were practically doubling over in laughter at this point.

So Eric boldly held your hand and gently guided you to the dance floor. Feeling your body heat up, he applied his cooling powers on you to prevent you from igniting flames.

“I guess we could say there’s a spark between us,” he joked.

The rest of the night flew by in a blur. You hadn’t felt so carefree in so long. For the first time in a while, you weren’t hung up on the past or worried about the future. You simply appreciated the moment as you were living it.

You never expected things to turn out the way it did. With the death of your parents, you lost a lot of things. But your new friends made you feel complete again. They healed you in ways you couldn’t have imagined.

The revelation of your true identity also brought you peace. You no longer felt like the odd one out. Your own powers didn’t scare you and you felt safe learning about them at the boarding school.

However, you began to doubt all of that the second you docked back on land. You were chatting with Eric about his favorite ramen brand when an all-too-familiar voice made you freeze.

“Y/n..?” he carefully called out. He slowly came up to see if it really was you and gasped when he saw that it was.

Eric didn’t know why he suddenly felt uneasy. Maybe it was because an unknown male had made a reappearance in your life or maybe it was because he recognized the way he was looking at you. It was the same way he looked at you as well.

Chanhee, now protective and defensive, slightly pushed you to the back to ask who he was.

“It’s okay, Chanhee. He’s my friend,” you assured, stepping forward.

Juyeon scowled, not liking that you were interacting with people from the human world. It was borderline going against the rules.

“Hey, Hyunjoon. Long time no see,” you timidly greeted.

“Are you kidding me? You disappeared after a fire burned down your house and that’s all you have to say to me?” Hyunjoon fumed.

You winced at the pain evident in his voice. It had hurt you to ignore your best friend and there hadn’t been a day where you didn’t miss him. Guilt-ridden, you were unable to meet his eyes. He took you by surprise by pulling you in for a hug.

“We thought of the worst, Y/n,” he murmured. “I forgive you for going M.I.A. on me. It’s okay. Everything’s fine as long as you’re here.”

You choked back tears but couldn’t stop one from falling down your cheek. You heard the headmaster gathering the students to get on the bus back home and knew that you didn’t have much time before you had to leave him again. Sangyeon patted you on the shoulder and ran ahead to ask the headmaster for leniency.

“I-I have to go soon,” you stammered as you broke away from his embrace.

“Go where? You’re not coming back home?” Hyunjoon asked.

“I… have a new home now,” you gulped. “I can’t tell you where and I can’t promise that I’ll be able to see you again. But I’ve missed you. I still do.”

“Are you safe?” he whispered after staying silent for a bit. “Are you happy?”

You took a glimpse of your group of friends that was unconvincingly pretending to not listen to the conversation. It almost made you chuckle despite the situation.

“Yeah,” you trailed off. “I’m doing well, Hyunjoon. And I hope the same for you. I’m sorry.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” he forced a smile as he hugged you one last time. “Bye, Y/n.”

“Bye, Hyunjoon.”

It pained you to see him watch you walk away. Your heart broke with each step you took. On the ride back to the forest, you stared out the window. Eric, sitting next to you, softly squeezed your hand to offer you some comfort.

“I made the right choice, right?” you asked, leaning on his shoulder.

“Do you regret it?” he cautiously asked.

You thought about it. You definitely missed Hyunjoon and all of your other old friends. You also definitely felt bad that you left them behind without a word and still couldn’t provide an explanation. But at the same time, you’ve grown to love your new school and new friends. You no longer had to be on edge without even knowing the reason why. Creker Academy made you feel confident. The boys made you feel accepted. Eric made you feel loved.

“No,” you answered with certainty. “Not at all.”

a/n: for the eric to my sunwoo, @sohnhorizon​

[edupunkn00b]

Punks, Poets, Parents for the fic association/secret ask game 😊 Such an amazing story that has moved me in so many ways 💛💚💙

Thank you so much for the Ask, Lost! :)

The timeline for Punks, Poets, Parents was originally much, much shorter. The end of the story was originally going to be around March, with the story still beginning in the Fall. It felt rushed, though, and from a developmental perspective just didn't make sense.

I took a step back from the fic and realized I was rushing Jay. I also realized I was rushing BCW. Reviews and paternity cases take time. So, I adjusted the timeline to take up essentially the entire first grade, plus just after the 4th of July.

Secret time

This story was very personal for me. I am very nearly Jay's age.

I lived in the Lower East Side in NYC when I was Jay's age. My earliest memory of New York is of ducking under the big yellow turnstile I described in the first chapter.

I went to school at Jay's school in the early '80s, attended the afterschool program there and was his age when I went to CBGBs (with adults XD, not by myself, though I would just go out to the park or to the abandoned lot next to my building early on Saturday mornings to play. I never tried to cook.) I didn't go to CBGBs for rehearsals (we didn't know any of the bands) but for concerts. I was Jay's age the first time I jumped off the stage during a performance (the punks all thought it was hilarious for this little pipsqueak of a kid to jump off during their shows.)

Remus' apartment is laid out just like our apartment was in real life, and we also told time by the Mr. Coffee.

Logan's character is partially modeled after a real teacher I had in elementary school.

I moved part-way through elementary school and at my new school, there was an amazing first grade teacher who I would hear adults whisper about being gay. He was hands-down the best teacher in the school and the little kids loved him, but even as a child, I clearly remember hearing relief when he was switched to teaching older grades. I didn't fully understand. All I knew was that it meant I was lucky enough to have him as my teacher in the fifth grade.

That teacher changed my life. I was severely ostracized, to the extent that I would hide on the closet (ha! little did I know...) to avoid the other kids. The school used standardized test scores to place kids in their classes and so we ended up with the same kids in the same class year after year after year. That also meant that the outcast of the class stayed the same year after year after year.

This teacher refused to put up with it. He was the first—and only—adult in my life who didn't tell me "They're just doing it to get a rise out of you. Don't let it get to you and they'll stop." He refused to let them get away with it. He made them stop.

I think about him all the time and hope he had a happily ever after.

Regarding Patton: as an adult in NY, I used to work with social workers on child abuse cases. They are doing the work of angels, despite social work having roots in racism and eugenics and the fact that BCW had some seriously fucked up policies back in the '80s.

As for Jay's mutism, one of my own children was mildly selectively mute for several years. They would speak to us in the family and to a few children, but it took years for them to speak to another adult, and would sometimes not even be able to speak at home. Sign language and writing were both incredibly helpful for those times (and I suspect texting occasionally serves a similar purpose to this day.)

And, finally, a few years ago I was lucky enough to get to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and stand underneath the old CBGBs awning. It was incredible to see, even if it wasn't the exact same one* that I'd seen as a kid. It both felt so small and so big at the same time.

*The original awning was stolen by Jodie Foster's Army back in the late '80s. You can tell the difference because the old one has 315 and OMFUG written in a slanted font.

[mbti-notes]

Hi MBTI. Not type related but I still want to ask because of your social insight. What does respect mean to you? I’ve met people who preach feminism but do not communicate honestly and clearly with girls they sleep around with (eg ghosting), which makes me think that feminism is just political theory, but in practice it means to truly respect other people regardless of their gender (ie being honest, clear and able to put ones anxieties/insecurities aside momentarily to ensure the well-being of

[con't: the other person). I asked myself exactly what respect entails, it’s a concept Ive taken for granted and thought I knew but realized I’ve never actually read/heard someone really putting into words. I’ve been reading online and a lot of people seem to muddle it with the word “admiration” and I think I disagree because I think respect is more about being open to sharing common ground and not placing someone above or below you, as admiration could cause. To me respect and  equality are more similar, and that’s how I linked it to feminism. How would you define respect? And what do you think about this? Thank you and all the best!<3 ]

You're mixing several issues together, which makes your question too complicated. Respect and making moral judgments are big enough topics without adding gender into the mix.

I remember once, a long time ago, I was grappling with a difficult moral dilemma. I approached a few people to talk about it. One person judged me as "incompetent" because the matter seemed quite easy in their mind. One person judged me as "weak" because I wasn't willing to just do what I wanted to do. One person judged me as "fake" because they thought I was only worried about appearing like a moral person in the eyes of others. One person judged me as "selfish" because I wasn't willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good. One person judged me as "overthinking" the matter because I was worried about more than just myself.

Of course, not being assholes, their judgments came out as veiled implications rather than direct criticisms. However, this example reveals some truth: People's moral judgments are often quite egocentric, a mere reflection of their own subjective ego conflicts about what it means to be a "good" or "bad" person. Whichever way they choose to conceptualize morality is what they expect of others (i.e. projection).

We all have to make moral judgments and navigate difficult moral situations. One thing that significantly influences people's ability to make good moral decisions is their level of ego development, you can read more about it in the Type Dev Guide. Suffice it to ask: Is your conception of morality more rule-based (i.e. about the power to judge) or more virtue-based (i.e. about the wisdom to do right)?

The more egocentric someone is, the more invested they are in maintaining a positive self-image, and the more sensitive they are to any data that would threaten their ego and suggest that they are a "bad" person. Egocentric people are more likely to use a rule-based approach to morality because its starkness and simplicity allow for easy detection and deflection of ego threats. If morality is a simple matter of knowing the rules of right and wrong, then moral judgments are a simple matter of whether people followed the rules.

For example, society says that you should work hard in school, get a good job, earn money, and your reward is that you are able to afford your life. Therefore, if you didn't succeed in school, you didn't get a good job, you can't earn much money, you can't afford the things you need, then there is something "wrong" with you. In short, you failed to follow the rules, so you deserve to be punished with the negative consequence of poverty. Rule-based morality is "safe" for the ego because there's no ambiguity that makes you doubt your moral judgment, and hence no reason to doubt your own moral worth.

People often talk about whether someone "deserves" respect, often because they want to make an argument that someone doesn't deserve respect for something bad they did. The more "admirable" someone is, the more respect they deserve? I will respect this person because they are "nice"? I will not extend respect to that person because they are "mean"?

If you approach respect with these "rules", you essentially get to play god. You get to sit on a high horse and judge people as worthy or unworthy. If you obey the rules of being an "admirable" person, you are called a "good" person, so you get rewarded with respect; whereas if you disobey the rules, you are a "bad" person, so you get punished with less respect or even disrespect. This way of thinking is rather childish. Notice how kids argue that they don't have to follow the rules when they see someone else breaking the rules. Their idea of morality boils down to whether they themselves win or lose.

Children, understandably, think in stark terms of reward and punishment because they are only starting to learn what it means to be an "acceptable" member of society. They only see what's on the surface because they aren't yet capable of more sophisticated moral reasoning. When an adult hasn't learned more sophisticated moral reasoning, they continue with the superficial idea of reward and punishment, only they take it further. Now that they are "adult" by society's superficial age standard, they possess the social status and thus the social power to dole out rewards and punishments to anyone "beneath" them in status. In essence, "I was subject to the rules as a child, and now I get to enforce the rules as an adult."

Adding gender into the mix, a lot of people abide by "rules" that they learned in childhood about what a "man" is, what a "woman" is, how they are different, and how people "should" behave according to their gender. Men, as a social group, are taught to obey one set of rules, while women, as a social group, are taught to obey another set of rules. This social conditioning shows up in people's implicit gender biases as well as outright gender discrimination.

If men, as a group, possess the majority of social power and privilege, they become the default reference point for everyone. Social and political decisions are predominantly made from their point of view, in accordance with their needs and desires, and this encourages them to treat women as objects that are only worthy of respect as long as they prop up masculine power. Women, as a group, are taught to see the world through the masculine perspective and believe that masculinity is superior to femininity, so they must behave submissively and serve their purpose to men.

As an individual man, if you follow the rules and elevate masculinity over femininity, you get rewarded with status and power. If you don't follow the rules, you get punished with lower status and being branded as undesirable (not a "real" man). As a woman, if you follow the rules and elevate masculinity over femininity, you get rewarded with some privilege and favors, but always safely within the bounds of masculine dominance. If you don't follow the rules, you get cruelly shamed into compliance and even ostracized if you are deemed a lost cause (not a "real" woman).

It is very difficult for individuals to counter social conditioning because so much of the learning happens unconsciously. It's a steep uphill battle for people to develop more self-awareness about the "rules" they have been taught to follow. And even when one becomes aware of having implicit biases or prejudices, it's not easy to rise above them. It takes a lot of conscious effort to go against lessons that were ingrained into your psyche since infancy. Furthermore, when you're a member of the social group that enjoys more power and privilege, there's very little incentive for you to change, in fact, you have much more incentive to preserve the status quo, which is why inequality is so difficult to remedy.

The unconscious nature of bias and prejudice is why ego development is very important. When you reach higher levels of ego development, your self-awareness grows, and that allows you to gradually shift from a simplistic rule-based morality to a more complex virtue-based morality which recognizes that moral issues aren't always black-and-white. Virtue-based morality is about what's actually in people's hearts and the role that moral conscience plays in decision making.

Taking the example from above: WHY did the person fail in school? Was it simply because they didn't follow the rules and work as hard as they should have? Or was it due to factors that were beyond their control, such as: an untreated learning disability, lack of school funding due to living in a poor area, a dysfunctional family situation that interfered with their learning process, etc?

Rule-based morality is about compliance and shaming people into the appearance of compliance. Virtue-based morality is about understanding and addressing the root causes of moral failing. To be capable of more complex moral reasoning is to dig deeper and ask more questions to get to the truth, which means that morality is no longer a simple matter. The gray areas start to appear, you start to see exceptions to the rule, and you become more empathetic because you're looking into people's hearts and seeing how they have suffered unfairly. You no longer stereotype and generalize about people but treat everyone as a unique individual with unique circumstances to take into account. Egocentric people don't want this level of moral responsibility because then they'd have to always question themselves about whether they are truly doing the right thing, and they would constantly have to confront the many ways they fall short in their morality.

When you truly see the harm of judging people by superficial appearances, you would never want to be a victim of it, and that helps you understand that you shouldn't be a perpetrator of it, either. When you truly see the harm of treating people unfairly based on gender, you would never want to be a victim of it, and that helps you understand that you shouldn't be a perpetrator of it, either. When you're able to empathize with people who were treated unfairly or victimized by unjust rules, you can't help but want to make things fairer for everyone (yes, equality). Virtue-based morality is about moral conscience in terms of what kind of person you hope to be, what kind of influence you want to have, what kind of society you want to live in, and whether you are actually a virtuous person in your heart rather than just appearing like one in public. When you show respect to people, it's not because they "deserve" it, it's because you know that you being respectful to everyone is the first step in helping to create a society that is more respectful to everyone.

[aperfecttimeforscreaming]

10 reasons why a poorly adjusted adult Dib is a Valid headcanon

1. Dib is/was a neglected child

Dib doesn’t have a parent that he can lean on and go talk to for advice, his father is frequently out of the picture and doesn’t give a shit about the thing that Dib cares about. Dib is actively encouraged by his neglectful father to give up on it, actually. I believe this would make Dibs stubborn streak really bitter and spiteful. Most people reading this are LGBTQ+, I assume I don’t need to explain how a fucked up an isolated upbringing, or being unable to be yourself around a parent, hurts you in the long run. 

2. Dib is bullied for the things he is passionate about, and being bullied heavily colours your perception of other people 

The world of Invader Zim is not kind, Dib is frequently harassed by his classmates/superiors/family for his outbursts/lectures/overall investigator shtick. 

Now you might say “but, Screaming, wouldn’t Dib learn to tone it down as he got older?” and YEAH. Probably! But does that mean that he would just forgive all the people that made his life horrible before that point? Or who socially ostracized him for the things he’d done in the past? No. No one is under any  obligation to forgive anyone who hurt them, and I think Dib wouldn’t even try to forgive someone he saw as intellectually inferior 

3. Dib is a selfish rich kid

Dib is selfish. He wants to be the protector of earth- but he doesn’t do it for earths sake. He’s clearly doing it as a cry for attention/ a reason to eventually be vindicated for being spit on by his own kind.  I don’t think he would have genuine empathy for other people. If he did have it, it’d have to be something he had to work really hard at. However, I don’t see Dib putting much effort into understanding other humans. 

Dib is rich (probably). This one being more of a headcanon- in the series Dib wants for no material object, he wastes technology on his explorations like it’s something he can just pick up from the dollar store, his father is a world renowned scientist with access to crazy technology and the ears of world leaders. I think he’d feel entitled to one or two things 

4. Gaz is not her brothers keeper. 

She’s not responsible for his mental health, she’s not responsible for keeping him in line and “normal”. Most of the time she doesn’t want a damn thing to do with him. If we’re going by the standards of the IZ tv show, the only times that Gaz interfered with Dibs paranormal investigations were when Professor M. Was also involved. Either she wanted to see her dad and Dibs antics were getting in the way (forcing her to intervene), or she was directly ordered by their dad to keep Dib out of trouble.  Sure, you could argue that she would beat the shit out of Dib for doing something she didn’t like- but that wouldn’t “fix” the mind of a very stubborn person. It might even make them dig their heels in even deeper out of spite and bitterness as a “fuck you I’m right you’re wrong” 

Furthermore, as Gaz gets older she’s going to have her own life to worry about and might stop tolerating the way Prof. M uses her as a middle man to deal with his “poor insane son”. She’s under no obligation to fix any of the phases Dibs life might go through. If Dib was unpleasant enough, and Gaz had the resources to leave, I think she might just bail on him. 

5. Dib is arrogant 

He's gonna do what he thinks is the best course of action unless you physically stop him from doing so. He comes from a place of thinking that he is right, the opinion of anyone else is secondary. Dib will do “what needs to be done” for “the greater good”. Whatever he thinks that “good” is. He wants to play the white knight at any cost. He cannot be in the wrong, or that bravado towards being righteous in the end crumbles. I think Dib would subscribe to a “the ends justify the means” mentality

6. Dib would harm another person to get what he wanted

In a room with a moose, Dib debates letting himself die just to take his entire class down with him. In the unaired episode “return of Keef”, he co-operates with Zim in an attempt to make Keef explode, because he thinks Keef is irritating. Dib used Gaz to test out an ancient spell book, cursed Gaz to only taste pork, and then only helped fix the problem when threatened with physical violence. This could be the kind of thinking that gets worse over time as more people mock his attempts to save and protect them. Why care about people that don’t even give a shit if they live or die?  Dib is a smart fringe personality in his world, and the otherness that he feels for that could lead to a sociopathic way of thinking if things went bad enough 

7. Dib does not care about other peoples personal space

Dib hides cameras in Zims house. Dib ran right past the front gate at NASA Place, Dib chased a baby big foot up a radio tower. Dib bullied Zim physically on the playground using his known weaknesses against him. Dib would do anything to get the evidence he needed to prove what he wanted to prove, and that would get him in trouble. Repeatedly

8. Antisocial tendencies (like spending countless hours fused to a chair, or most of your young adult life spent hunched over a desk at a computer screen) make it difficult to smoothly socially integrate, and the world of Invader Zim is fuckin' mean

You know the world he comes from is mean. However, assuming Dib did find community somewhere, who’s to say they would agree with him? Or like him? Maybe one of them would cause problems for him that were bad enough he’d have to leave. I’ve always found that the IZ portrayal of earth to be like this funny cynical parody of a dystopian police state america. If we’re going by “what can go wrong will go wrong”, Dibs social integration wouldn’t get easier without a bunch of effort on Dibs part. Maybe Dib would have to pretend to be somebody unlike himself just to get by in his day to day adult life. If we see Dibs country of residence as a police state, the world Dib grows up in would encroach heavily on his personal privacy, and that might make him even stranger via paranoia 

9. Sadistic tendencies towards anything paranormal (obsessed with the act of dominating and exposing the unknown)

Dib is a fucking jerk to Zim (rightfully so), but Dib is a dick to pretty much every supernatural thing he comes across. Either out of an excess of enthusiasm, or using a supernatural being to further his own plans, or from an invasion of privacy, or being an irritant to the entity he’s dealing with. He LIKES to be mean to them.  He  wishes to have mastery over knowing how they work. (maybe it’s more fair to say Dib is a voyeur?)  

This is more headcanon than anything, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say he might also want to control the paranormal for his own purposes. If Dib could say- catch a ghost in a jar so he could show it to everyone, he’d do it. If he could trick a werewolf into transforming on stage in front of a large audience? He’d do that.

10. Dib is created to be Zims equal

Dib is as “evil” as Zim is and vice versa. Neither of them is good, or pure, or morally justified. It’s a nice little grey dynamic. Both characters think they’re entirely in the right when they act. That they often aren’t in the right is fun because then you get to write/draw/ think about how they’d react to the consequences. Dib could still totally be a hero in his own mind, despite setting an apartment block on fire to flush out a coven of litches.

The reverse of this is also true, Zim can do nice things, and occasionally be good as Dib can be good. I figure the Zim/Dib dynamic changes for everyones interpretations at least somewhat. Having Zims terrible actions rub off on Dib as their battles escalate is a really fun way to go about exploring their relationship 

11. I like the it

There is no right or wrong way to enjoy a cartoon character! Live to make yourself happy in fandom! If you ever thought you needed permission to create rancid content, I’m sorry you felt pressured not to do it. 

You want to make a serial killer Dib?? You want to make a basement dwelling depressed zit covered Dib?? You want to make a Dib who struggles with his trauma through substance abuse?? Go HAM!! 

[sociopath-analysis]

Sociopath Profile: Nio Hashiri

Student No. 10 From the manga series Akuma no Riddle (2012-2016) and its 2014 anime adaptation Voiced by Yoshino Nanjo (JP) and Lauren Landa (EN) Recommended by @rickyriddle​ and thanks to their analysis that helped to make this one.

As one of the assassins in Class Black, Nio obviously has no problem with murder since it’s part of the job. However, as the story reveals itself, she shows that there’s even more to her than it seems. She displays a lot of antisocial behavior that potentially adds up to her being a sociopath.

[SPOILERS BELOW]

For starters, she is in on the whole operation since she’s involved with the Chairwoman. She was also ostracized as a kid for being a runt and adopted into the Kuzunoha clan to be raised as an assassin. After which, she was eventually passed along to Yuri and up to that point, she never had a name. With all those influences, she learned very quickly to abandon empathy for others and take away lives without remorse. This includes her mocking other people’s struggles and issues, even smiling when Haruki was going to kill herself for the sake of her family and laughing when Sumireko failed and Haru threw her off the school roof.

Her cheerful disposition translates to her superficial charm. Nio acts like this both because she genuinely has fun with everything and because she’s using it to manipulate others by dropping their guard. She befriends Haru early on to become her friend, only to betray her later. She does this with the other members of Class Black, too, as her role as the class arbitrator.

Despite how personable she is, Nio does not care about them at all. The only person she genuinely cares about is the chairwoman. Anyone else is left to the dust and she actively enjoys their failures. She despises the idea of connecting to the others and outright admits to hating everyone in Class Black. Unusually, she has rather low self-esteem because of being treated like a tool, but she might use the suffering of others to feel better about herself.

“Even if you say so, I hate all of them. I don’t understand what's so interesting about them.”

Her abilities another thing that contributes to her manipulative tendencies. Aside from the mundane methods, she uses her ability to create illusions via shamanism (using scents/incense) for the purpose of tricking people and luring them into traps. In addition, she can also use it to pretend to be other people either to gain their trust or to mess with their heads.

When she was younger, she displayed some impulsiveness and aggressive behavior, something that Yuri had to correct through discipline. Possibly because of her childhood, she was openly hostile to others and would snap at anyone. This seems to have subsided as she got older, but it shows through her sadism.

Nio notably also commits several cruel actions for the sake of being cruel. While she is an assassin and her job is to kill people, she uses especially sadistic methods simply because it amuses her. Her plan to kill Haru involved disguising herself as Tokako. Not only would this hurt Haru seeing someone she cares about kill her, but she also brags about it to Tokaku herself to pour salt in the wound. All of this is completely unnecessary and only serves to show how cruel she can be.

“I’ve been preparing to kill Haru in your form because I thought it would’ve been fun.”

In her defense, she is also being manipulated by Yuri and used as a pawn. However, she shows that she is fully capable of understanding how cruel she is. While she was trained to be an assassin and allied with Yuri, her sadism is not required for either job. Ultimately, her behavior could have been avoided if she was in a different environment, but her circumstances ended with her being the way she is.

Female Sociopath List

[specterchasing-a]

Eddie Carridine & Dani Edwards

A first attempt at analyzing Eddie’s relationships.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Depression, suicidal ideations (in the form of disregard for their own lives), and generally heavy topics such as loneliness and death.

At first glance, Eddie and Dani don’t seem to have much in common. She’s a dedicated slayer with a strict code, someone who values the importance of supernatural secrecy above almost all else. He’s a loose-lipped kid with a camera, preaching about how wonderful supernatural beings are. Needless to say, they clash—hard, but dig a little deeper than surface level and these two have more in common than they might ever know.

SOCIAL LIVES

Dan’s moms kept her on a rigid training schedule with little room for interpersonal relationships to develop. Eddie’s parents, albeit with vastly different motivations behind their actions, tried their best to keep him quiet and obedient. As one would assume, this kinda fucked them both up in a major way. Neither is particularly well-versed in navigating social situations, though that disadvantage presents itself in different ways between them. Dani keeps her emotions to herself and prefers to keep people at arm’s length while Eddie throws himself at whoever shows him an ounce of kindness. Different, yet alike, you feel me?

VIEWS ON DEATH

As a slayer, Dani’s gift is death (sorry, not sorry, for the Buffy reference) and Eddie, being a medium, has been surrounded by death since childhood. They cope with grief in different ways but both view death as something inevitable, maybe they even think that’s a good thing. Dani’s purpose is to die for the sake of humanity. If she doesn’t, she’s a failure. Eddie believes he doesn’t have a purpose outside of shepherding the dead and exposing the truth. Beyond that, he’s just a corpse waiting to happen. Neither Dani or Eddie view death as something to be afraid of. It is what it is, and it’ll probably come sooner rather than later.

STUBBORNNESS 

Yes, Eddie and Dani hold directly opposing views on the subject of supernatural secrecy but, more than that, they’re both assholes about it in the same way. When they first reunited at the grocery store and Dani saved Eddie’s life, Eddie blew up at her. He told her exactly what he thought and didn’t pull punches. It was not the first time Dani had been assaulted with narrow-minded stupidity and probably wouldn’t be the last. Initially, she bit back as she asserted her own views. Neither listened to the other, not really. Both of them were dead-set on believing the other was wrong, leaving no room for growth or understanding. They were like two unfortunately similar magnets pushing each other away.

IDEALS

Another instance of Dani and Eddie being alike, yet different can be seen in what motivates their actions. Clearly, they go about things with oppositional methods, but they are both driven by a need to make the world a safer place. Dani, rough-n-tough slayer that she is, is more interested in protecting humans and ridding the world of supernatural threats. By doing her job, she literally makes the streets of White Crest safer for its squishy, mortal  inhabitants. Eddie, on the other hand, wants the world to be safer for supernatural beings. He sees them as outcasts with targets on their backs, bogged down by unwarranted prejudices and falsely spun bad reputations. In his idea of utopia we’d all hold hands while we sing ‘We Are The World’ and outgrow things like murder and human sacrifice. If you ask me, neither of them have realistic expectations for how the world should treat supernaturals, but what matters is that they firmly believe they’ve got it all figured out and that the rest of the population needs to catch up with their massive brains. I realize this echoes a lot of what I said about their stubbornness but this is my impassioned rant about two idiots and I’ll be redundant if I want to.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

Dani, considering she was raised to be a murder machine with a quickly approaching expiration date, doesn’t see love as a possibility for herself. For other people? Sure, but such luxuries shouldn’t be wasted on someone with a terminal birthright. Eddie, though this is quickly changing in lieu of his budding relationship with Alfie, never saw himself as someone who would fall in love either. Because of repression and guilt, he wanted to be right, too. Romantic love, whatever shape it took, was wonderful for everyone else. Let them fall into each other’s arms and make five-year plans together, Eddie would keep himself busy memorizing gravestones. Love scared him, so he left it alone. From what I can tell, Dani’s not scared of love—it’s just inconceivable to think she might experience it. Still, recent growth on Eddie��s part aside, they used to both be resigned to going through life alone.

LONELINESS

Okay, yeah, they’re resigned to going through life alone but, unfortunately for them, human beings are social creatures. Dani, I believe, might not always be aware of how much she needs other people but, at times, she reads as an exceptionally lonely character. On dash, characters have reached out to her after crises and her initial responses were always heartfelt and, most importantly, crossed out. Her first instinct is to show affection and concern because she does, in fact, know on some level that she needs people in her life but… that’s not supposed to be in the cards for her. Dani shelves her unfeigned distress in favor of lukewarm receptions. Some exceptions might be with Athena or a few other characters at times but, for the most part, Dani tends to isolate herself.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have Eddie. If someone says so much as one nice thing about him, he’s prepared to commit atrocities in their name. He’s not shy about it, either. He loves deeply and without prejudice. Recently, people have shown up in his life that give him countless chances to show-off how much devotion spills out of his heart on a daily basis. But it wasn’t always like that. For most of Eddie’s life, the majority of people he met made him feel like a freak. High school was hell for him, not that he’s unique for that. His fellow students tormented and ostracized him, his parents wanted nothing to do with him, and he struggled for a long-time trying to figure out how to love himself when no one else seemed to. That particular obstacle is still an issue but it’s thankfully becoming more manageable. However, even with new friends and old relationships being galvanized, it’s hard for him to believe the past won’t infect the present and future. Yesterday’s heartache comes back to him in aftershocks of loneliness and fear. No matter what, Eddie cannot  completely escape feeling alone. So, he and Dani sadly have that in common as well.