#And to me... This is Louis... In an age where you look back soooo much

[theirloveisgross]

wait wdym chicago it's about hannah? 👀

oh, that's just my theory, anon. and i believe a few other people's as well.

it just makes so much sense to me, with all we knew about them back then. and i believe we don't know anything about hannah in recent years... so, who knows where she is, how she's doing, etc etc.

louis has also said it's about someone (duh), and when he played the album for jojowright everyone was like 'omg who's this about?' but obviously he wasn't gonna say.

now, naming it chicago... that's classic louis behavior. he knew EVERYONE was gonna focus on the city AND make the connection to danielle, etc etc. i mean, hannah could be living in chicago for all we know, tbh.

just- really listen to the lyrics and think about their relationship. to me the line about knowing someone's number is one of the biggest clues... because back then you knew people's numbers by memory. sure, there were cellphones that stored contacts and stuff already, but- you had to be there, hajshajs. i still remember a few phone numbers that no longer work... and louis is only 2.5 years younger than me, so...

alright, this was meant to be a short answer... but i got carried away. i love this song a lot, and in this context it gives me so much warmth too. they did love each other... they were, like, best friends! but... IT JUST WASN'T MEANT TO BEEEEEEEEEE.

because gay.

[lioncunt]

i love hearing your opinions on all the characters!!

what do you think about claudia?

thank you so much!!! 🥹🥰

and ohhhhh my. my daughter my GIRL

first impression: kirsten dunst claudia (again when i was 15) and i loved her INSTANTLY she played the fuck out of that part, i loved how gleefully evil she was and her rage and torment and just the LOOK and concept of her was so fucking cool to me!!!!! i was devastated when she died, it broke me to pieces. her and tomstat were my favorite parts of the movie and i think they’re the reason i have such a deep love for claudia’s relationship with lestat, because you could just feel all the complicated love and hate between them in the film. when i read the book, i felt much the same way, but i understood her hatred of lestat even more and i was further enthralled by her predicament. i loved her reasoning for killing him, how it was for HER, how it was revenge for dooming her, for not seeing her beyond anything but a dress-up doll who will never change, for not taking her seriously, for this selfish act of creating her for his and louis’ sake. i loved how she took back her ownership of herself, how she’s the truest vampire because she has no memory of being a human, and how she’s always the smartest person in the room. i also was touched when i read the history behind her character and the tragedy of michele rice, so claudia holds a lot of meaning for me in that way as well.

impression now: just like with louis, the show took this character and elevated her to new heights. i again loved her instantaneously on the show, she was so DELIGHTFUL in episode 4 i fell completely in love with her all over again. the change to her age and backstory adds a whole new dimension to her character, and the acknowledgement of how her predicament affects her love life is soooo horrifying and tragic. episode 4 remains my favorite of the series, i feel like it’s such a complete arc contained in a single episode for her and i love it so much. i adore how bailey played her, her acting is phenomenal ESPECIALLY in her “who am i supposed to love” monologue, the change from her innocent childlike personality to the angst-driven teen to the bitter adult is fucking exquisite, i want everyone to award her for her work it’s better than 90% of performances i’ve seen this year. the relationship between her and louis in this adaptation is sacred, this complicated dynamic from parent-child to brother-sister and then even further where she ends up almost parenting him is so fascinating and disturbing and bittersweet and i tear up if i think about them too hard. my only qualm is i feel she deserved to stab lestat 90000 times more in this version but alas it was not to be. as for book claudia my impression is pretty much the same except that i LOVE her ghost hallucination appearance in body thief i think she should haunt lestat every day of his life and in hell too!

favorite moment: like i said above “who am i supposed to love” brings me to tears every time. also when she mocks lestat choking on his blood fjdksk and in the book “i’ll put you in your coffin father” is the most iconic line i WISH they kept it in

idea for a story: madeleine being the same age and them having a romance is something i’ve wanted for a year now, it’s probably not going to happen in the show given the actress playing maddie’s age but i’d still love to see it in a fic

unpopular opinion: in the book, i feel people get caught up in whether claudia was morally right in killing lestat, and to me, it’s more about how it was an act for HER. she did it for Herself, no one else. it doesn’t matter whether she was right or wrong to do it. she needed to be free of him. in the show, i think she should have killed even more innocent people :)))))) fill up the river with bodies babe drown out the pain ur doing great

favorite relationship: non romantic relationship in the book is her and lestat, and in the show it’s her and louis!

favorite headcanon: she is a LESBIAN

[causticsunshine]

twenty questions

tagged by @are-you-quite-finished-giovanna thank you babe!! 🥰

1. why did you choose your url?

simply put i adore louis and i like purple and it just rolled off the tongue lol, but i also had a list of possible urls i also liked and i had to snatch this one up while i could!

2. any side blogs?

yes i have four....i'm not one of those 'everything goes on main and you can deal with it' type people.... but i have an inspiration blog @prickelndauge (art insp, lots of fashion, cool photography), an art-only blog @swmpwxtch, one just for spooky/creepy content because i'm really into horror manga and scary movies and that kind of stuff but i keep it off of main because i know a lot of it can often be triggering to others! (i also don't post much there but @bonepickng) and one for art references, life tips, random resources, and more donation sharing @am-ref!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

soooo long i thought i'd be gone by now tbh. i know i signed up in 2011 after just browsing the site through random blogs and tags for ages, but i didn't start actively using my own account until early 2012!

4. do you have a queue tag?

when i actually remember to tag things i have queued i'll use 'i'm sleep queue' because all my early morning posts everyday are queued....i am an insomniac rip

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

keeping up with my interests better! i was like 15/16 at the time so it made sense. back in Ye Olde Days much like now—i really have come full circle lmao—it was mostly just for 1d and then some random tv shows/franchises i just to see content of semi-often, as well as finding cool art!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

rn it's just a regular pic of louis! as much as i like using my collages or little edits as my icons, you can't see much of anything and it looks too busy sometimes (but also the photo i have rn....i am always thinking thoughts about it soooo)

7. why did you choose your header?

it's pretty! i wanted everything to follow a color scheme + i love embroidery and fancy gowns!

8. what's your post with the most notes?

ok i thought it was gonna be one of my old larry chibi doodles because i know a few of them hit 1k+ notes, but i deleted those in 2017 and apparently now it's this 6 year old like....funky photo study i did of dan howell from 2015 when i still watched him and amazingphil a lot?? i mean at least it's something i was once proud of lmao....there's a few art posts i have with semi decent notes that i pretend i Do Not See

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i think rn 40 something so not very many, although i unfollowed a lot of people i was moots with when i left my last fanbase so that's probably why 😬 i've been meaning to check out more HL/ot5 people though!! i love mutual interaction but i'm afraid of being annoying if i'm any degree of attentive

10. how many followers do you have?

overall i have almost 2.4k rn, but there's a decent amount that are totally inactive or at least don't interact with me so it feels like....a lot less lmao but since re-joining 1d i've already made up like all the people i lost when i left my other fanbase of almost three and more so thank you for actually liking my work and maybe me as well 🥺💗

11. how many ppl do you follow?

around 370 rn!

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is a shitpost fdngjkdf like my tags are bad enough lmao, no one needs to properly share the bs i have to say

13. how often do you use tumblr?

pretty regularly rn but there are times i'll go completely MIA depending on what i'm into/how busy i am!

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog?

in the past i have had some....issues with other people i've met on here but never directly had confrontation with them? most of the time that's happened i figure it's been one-sided though because i can get irritated with certain behavior really quickly—like i always say my heart is big and open but my bullshit tolerance is dangerously low—but when that's the case i'll just unfollow or block without saying anything?

although back in the day there was one instance (and seriously if anyone remembers this you deserve a medal because this shit was Ridiculous) where i kinda but not really called out another 1d fanartist who posted untagged noncon fanart they'd done of at least two of the boys, and then acted like it was no big deal (like. 1. those are irl people my dude and 2. untagged noncon art?? in front of my salad??) and their friends kept defending them for it and tried to come for me claiming i was a proponent of Purity Culture when i'm not and literally all i said in my post on it was that in my own opinion it was kinda fucked up to draw noncon art of real life people—not characters played by actors! but actual real people as themselves—in the first place, but if you felt the need to post highly triggering content like that the least you could do was tag it accordingly

but i think that was the last time properly so i guess times within this fanbase are still chaotic as ever just in a different way?

15. how do you feel about "you need to rb this" posts?

Annoyed™️ like don't guilt trip me over a post lmao i do what i want !!

16. do you like tag games?

YES i love to talk about myself after years of trying not to show any personality online out of fear of judgement dfjkngdf

17. do you like ask games?

yes! i want to do them more but i'm always afraid of reblogging one and then getting nothing and looking like a Fool :'(

18. which one of your mutuals is tumblr famous?

i guess i have a few moots that are kinda well-known or at least get good interaction within the community we're a part of? also isn't that phrase kind of an oxymoron at this point adfjkdf

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

not past platonic friendly affection lmao but honestly what is it like to have a realistic crush on an actual tangible person versus someone in the public eye who doesn't even know i exist.....it's been so long and i am so lonely please send help

20. tags?

@niallnailme @bolitodequeso @milkcurls @exzouis @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @got-my-devotion @aliensyndrome uhhh anyone who'd like to please consider yourself tagged by me! literally if there was an 'all my moots' button i'd just pick that lmao and as always no pressure/sorry if you've already done this and i haven't seen!

[demiiharperr]

Things That Bother Me About Gossip Girl

Chuck Bass’ hair in the first season

Jenny Humphrey repeatedly trying to stir up trouble & be a bitch

Serena’s nappy hair. Has she never heard of a hairbrush?!

Nate’s lip

Rufus Humphrey’s singing/song

Serena constantly pushing her lips out and whispering when she talks

Serena and her daddy issues. Mainly her being so quick to pin Rufus as the bad guy.

Little J losing her virginity to Chuck and then pinning him as a bag guy.

Jenny’s disgusting goth makeup.

Eric’s blonde striped hair

Lily running to her ex husband for help instead of just going to ANY OTHER DOCTOR ON THE PLANET

The poor acting during Dorota’s labor

Serena’s disgusting hair. It’s so bad I had to say it twice

Serena repeatedly being handed EVERYTHING. She gets trashed, fucks her best friends boyfriend, leaves a man to overdose and is still offered everything she doesn’t deserve.

Eleanor stealing a teenagers work.

Harriet The Spy (aka Georgina) being a villain. My childhood is ruined

Those alleyway assholes shooting Chuck. This is like The O.C. all over again. My heart can’t handle it.

Speaking of Chuck... Chuck constantly reminding people he’s “Chuck Bass”

These high school teenagers dating adults & nobody being bothered by that. But, as soon as Dan has interest in a teacher then we’re shook?

Elizabeth never coming back to tell Chuck she actually IS his mother

Come to think of it — the whole flip flopping of Chuck’s mom was frustrating

Chuck’s uncle Jack being so willing to hand over the hotel all of a sudden was pretty weird too

Rufus not getting Jenny some serious help

Agnes drugging Jenny!!! That girl needs to get locked away

The way that all of these children talk to their parents. They’re so disrespectful. Which is typical for teenagers. But, these parents just enable the behavior.

The on again off again relationship of Dan & Georgina

Vanessa. enough said.

Dan not INSTANTLY getting a paternity test

Prince Louis. again, enough said.

Blair & Chuck not seeing that they’re always going to come back to each other.

Lily being so easily swooned by anyone who is NOT her husband.

Georgina outing Eric. Soooo fucked up

Never hearing from Jenny & Dan’s mom again after her few appearances.

Chuck inheriting a business at 18. TF?!?!

Rufus’ tattoos

Chuck going from suits & ties — to being shot — to villager WORKING in Paris!!

Serena thinking she can take over as Queen. B may not have always been Queen, but, the title suits her so much better than S.

Juliet’s scheming ass. ughh!

The whole storyline of Georgina, Milo, & Russian murderers.

Eva being waaaaayyyy too good for any of these Upper East Side snobs and not running for the hills after Blair was a complete bitch to her. GIRL— RUNNNN!!!

Dan being so obviously more attracted to Vanessa during his threesome with her & Olivia. HOW DUMB COULD YOU BE?!?!

Dan being so cold about Georgina taking Milo. The way he spoke about Milo during his “Intervention of Emotions” was foul

The Humphrey Loft. It seems not secure AT ALL!! There’s a gap between the two front doors & I just feel like it’s probably the easiest place to break into.

I know I’ve already mentioned Serena’s hair but, I don’t understand how she can go to all of these elite events with these unkept hairstyles. In Season 4 Episode 4, the one time she straightened and brushed her hair, she slapped on some disgusting braid on the front of her head.

I know I’ve also already mentioned Vanessa but, can we talk about how much older she looks than everybody else her age?!

Blair wearing shorts to an NYU party. I almost died.

Blair’s knitted beret she wore in Paris. Soooo not “Blair Waldorf”.

Hilary Duff’s acting. It’s just not good. I love Hilary but, her acting hasn’t progressed since Lizzie Mcguire.

WHAT KIND OF PRISON IS BEN IN THAT HE HAS ACCESS TO LITERALLY EVERYTHING!! Is it even prison at this point?! I know people are able to sneak things but CMON!!!!

Gossip Girl getting sloppy with the posts

Going seasons and seasons and seasons of not a single person ever attempting to find out who Gossip Girl even is. That’d be the first thing I did if somebody was posting about me. Is this not borderline stalking?!

Rufus’ tan.

Literally EVERYTIME Jenny returned back to the show. Her character was one of the worst ones.

There’s a scene in Season 4 Episode 11, where you see a framed picture of Lily WEARING THE SAME EXACT THING SHES WEARING IN THE SCENE! The lack of creativity was weak with this one.

Blair gets a little cheesy towards the end of season 4

Serena looooves to play the blame game. Never taking FULL responsibility for anything. Always looking for someone to take the heat off her

Blair repeatedly getting into physical altercations with people at events. For a woman who seems to pride herself in how much better she is than everyone else she tends to act very classless at social gatherings.

Charlie/Ivy inheriting ANYTHING from Cece

There ever being a storyline of Blair being pregnant only for us to know that she wasn’t meant to be with Louis. Meaning that the baby storyline would have to end. I wish they wouldn’t have had it at all. It was weak the whole way through.

Blair arriving at the airport in her Vera Wang gown and tiara not expecting to get attention from it all.

People instantly knowing who that she’s the Princess of Monaco. Not to sound ignorant or anything but, where tf is Monaco?!

Bart Bass coming back from the grave. WTF?! Not believable.

Dan growing his hair out to where he looked like he was wearing a wig he found in a back alley dumpster

Dorota’s acting. Toward the end of the show they gave her character more lines and she appeared in more and more scenes. But, her acting/her lines were incredibly cheesy.

Serena & Dan getting married in a living room with everybody just chillin on couches. I’m all for small. I’m all for simplicity. But, this was too redneck.

[praphit]

Spider-Man II: Guilt or Kisses?

Spider-Man! Hot damn he’s far from home!

Back in the day, I was into two comic books - it was all about “The X-Men” and “SPIDER-MAN”! I was hyped when they first brought Spidey to theatres; even more so, when they finally got Spidey right in Tom Holland; when they finally got his age right

but... careful what you hope for, I suppose. I liked the last Spider-man movie, but I was like "You know, kids aren't that interesting." They're not! It's not they're fault, they simply haven't lived yet. No real drama. Well, they have drama, but it's not the same as adult drama!  Teen drama is more:

"Oh no, that bitch is wearing the same dress as I am!" or "Why is my girlfriend liking photos on IG of her ex?" "Son of a biscuit eater! My phone is broken! My life is LITERALLY over!" or "I'm such a loser, I'm going to fail this test!"

And yes, you are a loser, and you ARE going to fail that test, but that's not real drama!

Adult drama is more:

Did that brotha really just stage a hate crime?

or 

"What? Bribery? What does that word even mean?"

(”... you gotta get me outta here.”

"Soooo, I was trapped alone with Louis CK, annnnnd..." 

or "Oh Lawd! They made Ariel black! This country has gone to shit!"

See?? - real drama. Some teens have real drama, but quickly become great at suppressing it. Thank God for avoidance behavior and clueless parents, am I right??

My boy Spidey needed some real life experiences, and running off to Paris with Jake, Sam L, and Zendaya is just what he needed to grow up! - or... suppress things further.

A lot has gone down since we last saw Peter Parker (or lil PP, as the young hip-hop loving nerds call him). Endgame - I mean he blackedout (Thanosed), woke up to a massive battle, and then saw his mentor be martyred before his eyes; that's at least three sessions of therapy.

Aunt May is way too hot 

 -so all the men (and some ambitious boys) are always coming around to try and get with her (more therapy).

Plus, everyone wants him to be the next Tony Stark! He's frickin 16! Forget building a new Avengers to protect the world - What 16 year old would you willingly put in charge of your life?

He had to get away! And a school trip to Europe is the way to go!

Do kids go on trips like that in school now? When I was in school the most adventurous place we went to was to the zoo. And we didn't even go during the regular season. We went when all of the animals were hibernating. 

We pretty much had to imagine what the animals might have been doing if our school wasn't poor.

Though, every now and then, we'd find a homeless person locked in there. So, that was fun.

EUROPE, BABY! That's what I'm talking about!

Plus, there's the bonus of Zendaya!

She is excellent as MJ. They've got a whole romcom thing going on. It's cute to see those two as well as other strange teen couples get together. Seriously, though, everybody on this trip is extremely socially awkward. It's like they took all the kids from their school who are on the spectrum and sent them to Europe with two idiot teachers - something sinister may be going on there.

As seen in the trailer, Nick Fury eventually ruins the romcom fun with a mission for Peter. 

I love that pic:) Reminds me of my daddy when he didn’t like what he saw on my report card. Good times.

But, Lil PP is like "Damn that! I'm going all in on getting some of those Zendaya kisses!" Nick Fury does a good job of laying on the guilt though, and so this becomes the fork of the movie -

Option A - Sam L: "Parker! Quit being a bitch and save the world as Spider-man! Ya sticky, bug-eyed, motha bleepa!"

Option B -   Peter’s reply: "... but I'm horny as hell.”

Tony Stark learned that he could have it all!  - the calling, the glory, the women, and the booze. 

But, I guess Peter will learn that later down the road.

Jake Gyllenhaal (Mysterio) kinda plays as Peter's enabling older brother; it's kinda touching, in a way - 

He lays on the brotherly advice:

a) "Peter! Bleep responsibility! A wise man once said "With great white privelege comes more opportunities to do what YOU want."

b) "Go have fun! Get the girl! Follow your loins! Isn't that what that cereal-eating bird once said?

... or was that Bill Cosby? 

Whatever. Go forth!"

I really enjoyed this movie! There's a lot I can't get into without spoiling anything, but there's so much they do here, and they do it well. My only issue is that there's more that they could have done in certain respects . 

It's partly a comedy, but it could have been funnier if they had given certain characters more to do, especially the teachers being that one of them is JB Smoove (natural funny man). I wouldn't have cared except they were trying to make them funny, and failing for the most part.

The superhero action is really good, but there's not enough of it. I wanted so much more of what Spidey is capable of.

The cg stuff they do with Mysterio is the most visual stimulating thing that they do in the film, but there's some cheesiness concerning some of Mysterio's story later in the film.

And if you're looking for any hashing out of Endgame emotions, you won't get too much of that here. I'm not sure where they'll do it either - “Guardians” is a comedy. “Ant-Man” is a comedy. And Captain Marvel... did it seem like she even cared in "Endgame"? She was at Tony’s funeral looking at her watch.

This is all small stuff though! I enjoyed the film!

Grade: B+ (btw - two stingers at the end, both are MUST SEE)

It's going to be fun watching to see how they rebuild the Avengers with Spider-man; assuming that they do that is. Maybe Spidey will find his avoidance behavior of choice in MJ's kisses. They might have to slap the mantle on Starlord instead...

(Ch’mon) ... imagine that.

[shans-fic-recs]

Zouis Fic Recs

Hey lovelies!!! Hope everyone's alright and all that shit. I'm at the doc's right now and the line is super long, so I bring you my all time fave 1D ship!! Have fun!!♥️

⭐ Favourites are marked with stars⭐

(On a sidenote, be prepared for lots of faves because they are all from 2015 and I kept saved copies of only my absolute favourite ones, so there are very few fics, sorry!!😭)

***

Ship : Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson

Fandom : One Direction (band)

▶️Fics

•  your heart knows in a moment (you will never be the same again) : Louis and Zayn share a drunken kiss but then neither of them mention it.

Louis is sick. Zayn is less attentive than usual. Both are a bit stupid about things. University AU.

•  Wonderwall ⭐: Zayn and Louis, getting into trouble and growing old and growing up, falling in and out of love. And back in love.

This is one of those fics that follows canon very close and tugs at the heartstrings.

•  To Catch a Thief ⭐⭐: There are some rules even thieves have trouble breaking. Marriage vows, for instance. Zouis thief AU.

Okay, sometimes I feel like I give stars way too easily but. This is my all time fave when it comes to zouis. It's nothing exceptional, but it's still one of the best zouis fics out there.  

•  With The Lights Blinding and My Heart Played Down : Tired of the relentless muddled clump that were their lives, Zayn and Louis take off, abandon it all and run away if only for a few days.

•  we go together ⭐: “Why did you ask me to teach you, then?”

“I just wanted to touch you and feel like I was allowed,” Zayn says, nervous and so quiet Louis almost misses it, and it doesn’t make any sense. “Don’t be mad.”

This fic aaaaaaa♥️♥️♥️

High school AU.

•  Venice ⭐⭐⭐: Louis’ visiting his cousin for the summer. He’s never seen a skateboard before, he’s also never seen California boys quite this pretty.

•  Type O(nomatopoeia) : He looks up at Louis through big, almond eyes framed behind thick-rimmed glasses. His accent sounds heavy and honeyed when he says, “D’ya need any help?” and Louis can only shake his head no.

Or, the one where Zayn works in a comic book shop.

•  This Door Is Always Open ⭐⭐⭐: Zayn’s always had Louis, and thought he always would. But, when high school starts and that all changes, he’s left with nothing but old memories and a damaged heart.

(a growing up AU where Louis’ the boy next door, and Zayn’s hopelessly devoted)

•  untitled ⭐⭐⭐: "Are you feeling better, at least?”

Hearing Louis’ voice is strange now. Because it’s so easy to close his eyes and picture them being in the same room, smoking and laughing and talking shit. But really, they’re worlds apart and it’s hard; distance with family was easier, in some ways, than it is with his friends. At least then, Zayn didn’t expect life to stand still. Now, he always enters conversations with the boys feeling a half step behind, scrambling to catch up.

(Zayn leaves 1D).

Oooooofffffff the angst in this one.

•  and someday you will find me ⭐⭐: Sometimes, after a long day,Louis will sit down next to Zayn and ask him, "What are we today?"

The answer's different every time, but Louis and Zayn are together in all of them.

•  boom, boom, boom, supernova ⭐⭐⭐: louis works at his family's diner in roswell, new mexico and when a near death experience changes his life, he learns of who zayn malik is.

Alien! Zayn, if I remember right??? And it's frigging awesome!!

•  Break My Bones But You Won't See Me Fall ⭐⭐⭐: "Maybe Louis was growing up. Maybe this was his coming of age story."

Or, Louis is Bella Swan, Zayn is Edward Cullen, and vampires are totally real.

This one is one gem, I tell you. It'll make you choke on your spit. I swear.

•  Don't Believe in Touchdowns : Surely there must be a rational explanation for why Zayn’s bandmates keep presenting him with roses.

•  so it goes ⭐⭐⭐: on these mornings, when louis’ arms tighten around him and he looks painfully young, it’s hardest to keep from just blurting everything out.

(You get where this goes! Absolute gem!)

•  smoke in my lungs (or the echoed stone) : the one where louis smokes because it's athingand zayn indulges because it's their thing.

•  rise from your burning fiat ⭐⭐: louis and zayn have always been best friends and they always will be, no matter how much time they let pass.

•  Oh Love Don't Let Me Go ⭐⭐⭐: “I wanted you,” he says, this time louder. “I wanted you and I wanted you to ask me to stay. And maybe I wouldn’t have, Zayn, maybe I would have gone to London anyway. But I would have found a way to keep you as well. I would have found string long enough to keep me tied to you even with an ocean between us.”

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS I'LL COME TO HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS

•  Like There's Nobody Watching : the one where Louis can't turn down a dare and too much information is had by all. But mostly Zayn.

•  like any real love it's ever-changing ♥️♥️♥️: "Do you think if I repeat 'this isn't happening' for long enough it'll make it true?" Louis asks.The cat—Zayn—moves its tail. Louis doesn't know what that means.

This one gets hearts cuz it's got cat Zayn.

•  keep you like an oath ⭐⭐: The fake dating thing. This was one of the first ever Zouis fics I read and I still love it soooo much.

•  fire for a heart ⭐⭐: the one where Louis is on the football team, Zayn is in yearbook, and they make it work.

•  Don't Pretend You Ever Forgot About Me ⭐⭐⭐: Part of him thinks he messed up on purpose, but that’s something he doesn’t want to think about.

This is a tear jerker, tyvm.

•  far side of the moon : the one where louis’ summer holidays are blessed (or cursed) by the new boy next door.

Slight angst.

•  Sun Was High (So Gone) ⭐: Louis knows Zayn won't stick around afterwards, but he does it anyway.

Angst angst so much angst?!!!

•  partners in crime ⭐⭐⭐: “Zap, Zayn draws me in a flattering and accurate manner,” Louis says into Zayn’s shoulder.

Aaaaaaaa i love this one so much!!!!!♥️♥️

•  Spinning ⭐⭐: Fine, Louis thinks, when the announcement comes. Fine. If he doesn’t need them, they don’t need him. Louis certainly doesn’t.

That one heartbreaking fic that captures Zayn leaving from Louis’ POV perfectly.

More to come! Stay tuned!♥️

Do tell me if any of the links don't open or are faulty, etc.

Last Updated : 25/07/2018

Feel free to send me your own recs and I'll include them in the list! Loves!!♥️♥️

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s May 2018 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

And we’re back for another month of reading! I didn’t do a lot of writing this month, but I read a LOT so this list is long! So buckle up, and let’s look back on the amazing fics I read this month! (There’s a lot of Tomlinshaw, but I promise there’s Larry too! Keep reading and don’t give up on me pls hehe)

but tonight (you’re on my mind) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 There’s a lot of Tomlinshaw on this list this month because I was wanting some awesome banter and high angst due to lack of communication and who does that better than Tomlinshaw? ANYWAY, this fic was almost too much for me hahahaha! Anitra has a way of writing that makes you feel every bit of pain and the anticipation building up to where I knew it was going was killing me, but DAMN was the resolution of it all amazing! If Tomlinshaw is your thing, defo give this one a try.

Know You Know You Got It Bad by @taggiecb / taggiecb This one had me cackling but also horrified at the amount of WOW THAT TOTALLY CAME OUT WRONG and misunderstandings, and that is exactly what made this such a fantastic ride. Another fab Tomlinshaw to read, should that be your thing!

Do You Smile To Tempt A Lover by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 A MUSEUM AU WHERE NICK PAYS HOMAGE TO PAINTINGS OF MAGGIE SMITH AND JUDI DENCH AFTER OGGLING LOUIS? Yes please. Featuring matchmaker Zayn. AND Louis secretly writes erotica during his lunch breaks? This fic is sooooo fun. A defo Tomlinshaw read.

A Royal Wedding by @reminiscingintherain / reminiscingintherain This short ditty is SO CUTE!!! A short and sweet Larry meet-cute surrounding the royal wedding. It is the best little fic snack to leave you feeling good!

We Used To Wait by @magicalrocketships / sunsetmog I read this as I was on my period and started it around 1 am. Both of these life decisions I do not recommend, because I ended up just shoving a tissue between my face and my pillow so I could keep reading without creating a puddle on my pillow as Nick freaked out in the hospital over Louis possibly not surviving. All the same, the fact I kept reading despite all of this should be one of the highest recommendations. This fic destroyed me and put me back together again in all of the best ways. A Tomlinshaw must read.

Somebody Hurt You (I Know A Place) by @writsgrimmyblog / writcraft I...well looking back on this I thought this fic was a lot shorter than it actually is because I devoured it so fast and it reads so well I had no idea it was 20k. ha! So, that being said: Tomlinshaw featuring amnesia. There’s a few of these coming because I NEEDED IT sorry not sorry. The structure of the fic was beautiful too!

loose lips sink ship all the damn time (not this time) by @mediawhorefics / MediaWhore THIS FIC OMGOSHHHHHHHH I loved it. Gosh I loved it. Secret relationship AGAIN, forced outing, exes to lovers, ALL THE EMOTIONS! The way Nick was written too just had me in LOVE. Sigh. Another fab Tomlinshaw with some incredible structuring that allows you to watch the relationship begin and fall apart all while seeing them come back together again. (I promise, there’s more Larry coming, please don’t give up on me lol)

The Disgruntled Novelist's Bodacious Pornographer (or, that time Nick and Louis were rival romance writers) by aliferuined This fic had me laughing so hard on my porch while my son played with bubbles he actually climbed on my lap to see if I was watching a funny video. I was crying and wheezing. This was just... the most hilarious. Tomlinshaw, again hehe

wait for me to come home by carissima TOMLINSHAW TIME TRAVEL!!! And it’s done in such a beautiful way! It completely satisfies all desires for knowing what happens where and I just LOVE it! 

Once every day your life starts again by blackmustache This fic also features Tomlinshaw amnesia (see a theme for me? lol) and soccer aid and secret relationships and Jay helping them find each other again, which is lovely!

Nobody compares to you by @headband-husbands / fallenflowercrowns (meggiewrites) Larry returns! haha It’s all Larry from here on out on the list, promise :) Tumblr AU! Canon Compliant! Best Friends to Lovers! What more could you want in a fic? I honestly don’t know, which obviously means I loved this one lolll

Seeing Blind by @sugarbabyomega / zedi BLIND ALPHA LOUIS, SAUCY OMEGA HARRY! Gosh this fic just. WOW. It flips between POVs and gives such a full and lovely feel for the entire thing. Involving surprise early heats! No Strings Attached hook ups that turn into Feelings! What could go wrong?? hehehe A new favorite A/B/O for me!

Stay Close, Hold Steady by @jaerie / jaerie THIS FIC FAM! It is one of my fic babies that I didn’t write. hahaha My random ramblings to Jenna as I drove in the car back in March might have helped form this amazing fic and I love it so much. “Brothers” A/B/O Larry fic involving finding your lost family, gender presentation, and so much more. Read while listening to The Tide. It’s a good choice. Promise.

Among Friends by @theficwritersblock / secretswekeepxx This fic, y’all. I’d never seen the film it was based on, so I was a bit wary going into it but IT WAS SO GOOD! SOOOO GOOOOOD!  Be prepared for the pain, the ridiculousness, stupid boys, and love conquering all. Duh.

And I Will Steady Your Hand by @icanhazzalou / kiwikero Another great A/B/O fic! Keri pulls out all the stops with late presentation support group amazingness and the changes and confusion/frustration that come with them, especially at a time of life where it feels like EVERYTHING is changing. It’s such a great fic. Defo read it.

All That You Are by @iamasphodelknox / asphodelknox Y’ALL. This fic. It’s historical fiction at it’s finest. WWII soldier OT5 and Shawn friendship and period typical homophobia and dreams and relying on each other and love and I keep talking and it’s just not enough. All the love for this fic. It is art and beauty and wow. Defo read it.

Getting Naked on Camera (NOT CLICKBAIT) by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses) This little thing had me giggling. A great, light little fic to help you smile on a hard day!

Bijou by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie Lauren did such amazing things with this! Micropenises. Who knew? I didn’t until now, but I can’t wait for the other fics that will eventually be a part of this!

my favourite colour is you by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses) SO CUTE. MUCH CUTE. ALL THE CUTE. It’s so soft and lovely and a happy place to escape.

Slow Hands (Slow Days) by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry This fic, y’all. Farmer Harry, Vet Louis. Softness. Country living. Good friends. It feels so lovely and yet I couldn’t stop giggling at the slow hands aspect of it. haha Defo recommend reading this to understand what slow hands has to do with any of this. 

Your Shadow Running Round by @harrystanslouis / harrystanslouis This fic is lovely! So lovely! Stupid boys who made stupid decisions and have to fix things are a soft spot for me, and that is definitely featured in this fic.

Run With Your Mind by @larryandgaystuff / larryandgaystuff (cnd8544) Another great story with such a great connection to the song it was written for! Full of stupid boys with feelings they aren’t talking about even though they really should. Maybe that was this month’s theme. Next month’s should be communication. HAH! 

Took Me by Surprise by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen This is a fic that Molly teased me with the idea for AGES ago and when it finally came to fruition I was not disappointed! Such an amazing read and a fic all around! The kid aspect was so believable and wonderful and just a lovely added bonus to the entire thing.

All My Friends Are Here by abrighteryellow This was the cutest fic! Pub quiz hosted by Harry becomes more than just a little appealing to Louis, despite the fact he doesn’t want it to be. A short little meet-cute to make you smile!

Mars Needs Irishmen by @fakedeepplantjerker / kassio Listen. This is a fic where the relationship tagged is Niall and Space. It’s got a great narrative structure and the story is so lovely! I really enjoyed it. So fulfilling and a great read!

maybe by @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity This story!!! Two little nerdy boys who don’t think they have a chance with the other falling for each other anyway? Yes please. A beautifully fulfiling story considering how few words there are!

Beat the Odds Together by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory Cute! That’s all I can really say. It was so cute! A short little thing with surprising amounts of emotion packed in. 

walk down our aisles first by @jumperlouis / musketrois (B_kate) THIS. WAS. SO. SWEET. I keep saying that, but these short fics for the short fic fest gave me life when I was dealing with stress from my mom’s big open heart surgery and the aftermath of that. This was was particularly lovely as a meet cute with a slight twist to it that I really enjoyed.

Redwood Seedlings Prefer Full Sunlight by @polkadotsvstripes / polka_stripes Girl!Direction short fic featuring a meet-cute! I really enjoyed this one too. A fun quick read that also makes you hope they make it work hehe

Sea of Love by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords Mermaids and Princes! What more could you ask for?

If Anyone Knew by @marastarfar / StarFar Listen. This was one of the first A/B/O fics I ever read, and it was a WIP. A WIP I thought had been abandoned but then the amazing Mara almost made me cry by completing it! This fic is so great. Please be warned though, there are a LOT of triggers and it very much is a dark!fic in many ways, so be cautious before jumping in. Worth it if you can handle it, though! A great read, as StarFar’s stuff always is.

tell me what you need by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface This fic!!! I laughed hard enough to have my husband pause his movie and take out his headphones to ask me what in the world was going on lollll The pacing of this fic! It had me gasping and having to pause reading on numerous occasions so I could see clearly enough to keep reading. Definitely up there as one of the funniest fics I’ve ever read. 

Not yet a breach, but an expansion by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords GOSH THIS FIC! Heartwrenching and beautiful and so powerful in so few words! How?!?! I have no idea. Gorgeous and an amazing twist on soulmates.

when i'm pipe and slippers and rocking chair by nightwideopen Whoops. I lied. Another Tomlinshaw. Whatcha gonna do? This was such a cute little thing, though. Such a fun little established relationship fic hehe

head over feet by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords This fic was so good I went yelling in my GCs until I could find someone who know the tumblr associated with this AO3 and then I immediately ran and began screaming at Caryn, okay? Please read it. Love yourself. Read this fic.

Wish You Were Here by @undersummerstars / alittlewicked SELKIE HARRYYYYYYY!!! I need all the selkie Harry fics. Amazing. This one absolutely did not disappoint. I loved it and it made me crave more. 

Surrender to Seduction by @laynefaire / Layne Faire (HisDarlin) Layne’s tag “fast and loose with canon” had me giggling but those giggles stopped as I read this fic because the way she writes has such power and draw I was immediately in the story. A great read!

Until You Use Me Up by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie OKAY LISTEN. Before I knew this was Lauren’s I read it and was just like FANNING MYSELF. It was so hot and so well done and amazing. It was just...amazing.

AND THAT, in reverse chronological order (because apparently that’s how I roll today), is a list of the fics I read and loved this month! Thank you to all of the amazing writers who shared your amazing works with us! You provided me with so much help in difficult days and entertainment. 

Please spread love to the fandom writers and leave them comments and kudos on their fics! I’ll be back next month with what will likely be a much shorter list lollll

[hannahsmusings]

Louis

*he smiles at you as you seem so ecstatic over meeting the twins and seeing everyone again, nodding enthusiastically at the question about his mum’s cooking* She’s even started making it better, I swear. I thought it couldn’t get better… it did. And I’m sure Daisy, Phoebe and Fizzy would die for a night off from baby sitting duties, so, they’d gladly volunteer you so they can go enjoy being teenagers. I usually go over on Thursday nights but, we can set up a night whenever you have time away from being a doctor. Mum would make a huge meal any day of the week if it meant having you at the table. *he smiles sweetly at you, looking into your eyes, wanting you to know just how much Jay still loved and adored you, wanting you to know you were always welcome in her home* *he feels some sort of weight lift off his chest when you mention going to the pub, something he thought you might scoff at now, being a big time professional and all, but he was elated to know that you still wanted to do that sort of thing* Yes, fuck yeah, we can totally go to the pub! It’ll be our first time being of age and using legal IDs and not ones we had made for us in that grimey alley downtown. *he chuckles at the memories of you two getting your fake IDs and how badly it all turned out, them being so terribly done and obviously fake* *he deflates when you mention needing to leave* Aw, yeah, go be a doctor, love. You know where I’m at now. Come bother me any time. *his face softens a bit at you going a bit emotional, giving you a sweet smile* I’ve missed you too, Banana. Too much. I’m so glad you’re back. 

________________________________________

*groans in delight at the sound of the mac and cheese* Damn I need it. *grins, clapping and nodding enthusiastically as I loved your family to pieces* I would love that, send the all my love would you? I miss them all. *smiles, unable to slow the racing of my heart as it felt like such a good sign that we had reunited on the morning of my new job, really feeling like things were clicking into place for me* *laughs as you agree to the pub* Can’t wait to be a responsible adult and order legal alcohol. *grins, knowing I’d only just turned 18 when I went off to uni so we never done the whole legal thing and now I was 23 and back we didn’t really get a chance to go out together like that* *my face softens as the conversation nears an end, nodding as I definitely would revisit here now I knew this was were you worked* I will, you’ll get sick of me. *grins at the nickname, leaning across the counter to give you a quick hug* Bye Loubear. *grins cheekily as I knew that was a nickname you didn’t like too much but always didn’t mind me using, poking your cheek before stepping back and glancing at your coworker* Thanks for the coffee and muffins. *smiles warmly at him before adjusting my coat and heading for the door, stepping out and giving you a smile and wave through the window before I walk off with a skip in my step, in such a good mood as I head to the hospital* -Hannah

*having been watching the interaction closely ever since you both had this big reunion, unable to keep the grin off my face as I watch how you behave with this girl, seeing she was someone special to you and surprised I hadn’t heard of her before now, you acting in away I’d never really seen from you before* No problem. *smiles at her and waves as she leaves before turning to you and cocking a brow in obvious curiosity as she leaves* Soooo.... *looks at you expectantly* Wanna explain? -Harry

[thiswasasuperterribleidea]

I’m baaack!

And I know I’ve said this before, but this time I am “back back” like, “big mad”…but “big back”, so I am “BIG mad, and BIG back”.

The only reason I ever took my little blogging hiatus was because some stuff went down, and I promised Darren I wouldn’t let strangers in on his life choices and share and blog about it…. But then I opened my big ass mouth, broke my promise and told actual real life humans what was going on… and now he hates me for a handful of reasons soooo FUCK IT, HERE’S THE TEA!!!! (PS-Sorry for acting as if you aren’t real life humans…. You know you’re my virtual fam for life)

So while you were all out enjoying your holidays, and I was remaining silent.. I was busy having really, REALLY hot breakup sex. The kind where you can barely make it up the stairs without ripping eachother’s clothes off, driving 30 minutes away at midnight for a quickie, and fucking in the kitchen before making it to the couch or bed..,. yeah it was THAT hot.

And yet here I am, after all that hot and dying for more sex… currently eternally blocked…  for the second and fair enough… probably final time… I’m calling it my third breakup…. WITH THE SAME DUDE.

So of course me and Darren have broken up way more than 3 times. But here’s the logic I have recently created. (Which is obviously very illogical, along with almost all of my thoughts).  I never once accepted our breaking up.  Legit until about a month ago when he brought some new broad around in public and I had to watch them check into a hotel room directly next to mine, and black out and sleep with a pillow over my ears so I didn’t hear them fucking through the hotels paper thin walls…. *takes massive gasp for air after that run on sentence * That did it for me TBH.  I think that would do it for anyone TBH. But I like to think that I almost accepted him breaking up with me one time prior... Back in May –ish when I was essentially kicked out on the mean streets and living with my Nonny, Darren dumped me for what iiiii personally consider to be the first time. (He’ll for sure say it was probably the 50th time). I was so devastated, I decided I’d go out and buy a Louis Vuitton bag cause it made me feel like a boss ass bitch.  It legit made me feel sooo good though. Like I was still shopping around the mall after, and store employees and other shoppers were having me unpack the bag and pose with the bag showing them which one I got. I was strutting around Nordstrom like the boujee girl that I am while everyone “oooed and ah-ed”. It was as close as I was to being famous before this blog. (Still not close to being famous lol)  Thennnn, the other day I decided no break up can be deemed a breakup until a new Louis Vuitton is purchased. SO. Here we are, the first step in recovery… ACCEPTANCE.  While I bought hundreds of other things when Darren broke up with me at the end of August, I didn’t buy a Louis.  So now that I’m making dumb money at my job, I decided I’d backtrack and make all these breakups official. So in May I bought my first child.. and today I bought my second and third. So I had bought brown leather in May, so now it’s time for a white bag to make up for the August break up. But let’s be real. We broke up in August, but it was NOT cold turkey. Darren loves telling me “WE BROKE UP 6 MONTHS AGO YOU OBSESSIVE FUCKING WEIRDO” But let me just say, breaking up 6 months ago and having breakup sex on Christmas is not exactly a 6 month old breakup…SO third breakup is right now, present day, and I of course think I deserve another bag for that too! So I bought myself a Louis clutch as well. (Which is really the only thing I intended to buy in the first place… but I’ve been listening to my girl Ariana Grande too much lately, and 7 Rings is a verrrry dangerous song . SO therefore I was over inspired  to buy them both). And now. I have accepted my three breakups, the third of which I completely created on my own to justify retail therapy, and now just like that…I have a realistic mind set on where I’m at.

So let me stop rambling, and explain what you’re actually looking to hear. This part isn’t going to be long. Or funny. Because it’s something I want out of my head, not to talk about but I want you guys to be able to follow my mind. Darren teased me with the idea of trying again. He was very open and honest, and the whole thing was my idea.. but he agreed that if we were to continue hooking up and talk a little here and there, that we could potentially try again. Now he did let me know he was also talking to someone else, that he did have feelings for them, and that he did not have feelings for me. Dope. So my dumbass went forward with opening my legs, and arguing with him over time he spent fucking me but not talking to me. GUYS- we all know go with the flow is not my fucking thing. But the sex was toooo good. Still too good. Like better than any other sex I have had. I’m thinking it hasss to be in my head now. Like I must be ruining other experiences for myself just comparing penises… anyway besides the point. I ruined it by insecure arguing over who he was spending time with instead of me. And now I have no hot breakup sex, or communication with Darren.

But the thing is. I don’t get me... I am doing well. Really well. It’s not a front. It’s not me tricking myself. I do positive things for myself and my mind all of the time and I feel good about them and I am happy. I feel good about myself, my life, where I’m at. But for some reason… I can’t control my other thoughts. It’s like whenever I talk to Darren, (WHICH I SHOULDN’T EVER BE DOING) my mind screams out, “TELL HIM HOW SAD YOU ARE, LET YOUR DESPARTE OUT, TELL HIM HOW IN LOVE WITH HIM YOU ARE” As if my mind thinks that’s doing myself a favor, or telling him what he wants to hear.. when I know it isn’t. So let me brag to all of you people, and maybe it’ll help you guys. So here’s some more classic advice from your emotionally unstable girl.

I meditate before going to bed, and first thing in the morning. Instead of waking up and texting Darren to see if I am unblocked, or to continue an argument…. I do a 5 minute meditation. Insecurity was always something I struggled with, so I wake up and tell myself things I like about myself. It doesn’t matter if anyone else likes them about me, because what I’ve been working on is falling in love with myself. Sometimes it’s my appearance.. like my eyebrows are on fucking point. Or …my life may not be perfect, buy my eyelashes always are!!!  Or I remind myself of the freckles on my nose that I always make sure I don’t cover up with my concealer. Or my smile with my big white teeth, and disappearing top lip. I make sure to look in the mirror and be happy with what I have and to not get down on myself and pick out everything I see is wrong. Darren was a pro at comparing me to anyone else. Like how this new girl is a dime, and I am just kind of cute and that’s all I’ll ever be. What the fuck, right??? Sometimes it’s not my appearance at all… it’s how big my heart is. How despite what people have put me through, I still try to see the best in them and not let their nasty traits or actions be what I judge them for. It’s my vulnerability, that makes me a good human. Or the fact that I am good at my job. Dwight was a good mentor to me, Darren helped me from time to time. But now this is me. Or even the little details about me like how I close my eyes and lift my feet and make wishes over railroad tracks. (I NEED AT LEAST ONE OF YOU TO TELL ME YOU’VE HEARD OF THAT BEFORE BY THE WAY). I am a hopeless romantic and I love it. I am an awesome fucking person.

I started karate classes again! (I know weird flex, right?)

Well I did karate when I was a kid. Like 5 year old kid. I quit when I was 10. I did it with my family friend Zach. I would cry every time I had to go to class. It was because once I reached a certain age, we had to spar . Like put on full head pieces, equipment and fight for points. I was the only girl and I would always spar against Zach who I had a massive little kid crush on because he was like… the only boy I even knew lol. And one night sparing, he punched me in the area of what I still to this day call my non-existent boob. I was so humiliated so I went home cried and quit.

BUT NOWWW . I’m ready to get my black belt bitches. My Sensai and I did the math the other night. I haven’t been to classes in 14 years. 14 FUCKING YEARS, IT’S DAY 1  AND THIS GUY IS WORKING ME LIKE I’M STILL A PURPLE BELT AND CAN REMEMBER SHIT FROM BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I CAN BARELY EVEN REMEMBER WHAT CAR I DROVE HOME TONIGHT. It’s wild. But it’s so good for stress and honestly guys are such perverts that being single I deff need to know self defense on how to fuck a dude up. I’ve has some scary uber drivers.

Uhm uhm uhm what else do I have to report…

I have been talking to this kid. We’ve been out a bunch. He makes me really happy. He listens to me, always is so interested in my day, and is golden retriever innocent. But I’ve been trying to force it more than I should. He’s so sweet and so fun to talk to and hang out with which I love. But I just don’t feel the right sexual chemistry (ironic because he’s a science teacher ) . But like that is such a huge deal to me. Let’s be real … not all girls are comfortable saying they love sex.. But I LOVEEEE sex. No shame. It’s natural. But I am also very cautious of who I am sleeping with. I’ve told you my 3 time rule.  Anyway, the chemistry wasn’t right. And while this 2019 dating world is not something I have really ANY experience with… I decided the next move was “ghosting” . Kind of fucked up huh? I would hate that happening to me. I am such a talker, I need answers so bad. But I mean he wasn’t my boyfriend, we were just talking for a few months, I didn’t have the energy to explain myself and it was so causal like I just didn’t think I needed to. BUT THEN I MADE A ROOKIE MISTAKE. I planned to leave that night and never respond again. But as soon as I got in my car to drive home… I realized I was missing one of my hoop earrings. Mind you this was not just my 17 dollar cheap sterling silver hoop earrings…. This was my SOLID GOLD FAVORITE HOOP EARRING EVER.  I was so mad at myself. Girls literally do shit like this on purpose. They’ll leave earrings , or underwear fucking anything to prove they were there. Whether it be to make sure they have another excuse to talk to the guy again or to show any other girl that there’s someone else in his life too, it’s all an evil plot. BUT NOT ME. How could something like that happen to me by accident?!?! Just my damn luck. So I texted him and asked him to put the earring in his mailbox that way I don’t have to do a walk of shame back to my earring, and he can hopefully take the hint that was that. But no. The hint was not taken. I had to hit him with the classic Dwight line, “It’s not you, and it’s not me”. Lmao I am a bitch. It’s nothing I’m proud of honestly. But I am just truly done looking for anyone. I’m just waiting for my future husband to walk into my branch and rent a car, someone to just fall into my life. I am not searching, and I am not trying. I like being alone anyway. The only thing that I wish I had was someone to just lay with at the end of the night when I’m lonely to talk to about my day. Someone to wake up next to in the morning with their hands all over me making me late for work… Other than that I’m so busy Monday- Friday that I don’t even have time for a boyfriend. I’m finally content.

The only real problem I have is that my mind still races about blowing it with Darren. I have accepted it’s over, but I haven’t been able to cope well with the fact that I completely fucked up the only thing I wanted, which was him. But I have to be careful cause I haven’t calmed down enough for those restraining order threats to stop yet… and I don’t think they are threats any more.  I have to get better control over my emotions.

But now you guys are completely all caught up on my crazy ass life. I hope I didn’t get too boring on y’all. I’ll be back to posting regularly as soon as the next fucked up shit happens. Cause you knowwww there will be something. 

[thelavendrhaze]

what i’m writing challenge!

i was tagged by one of my favorite writers @aloequeerafic - thanks for the tag!!!! i love your work sfm!!!!! this challenge is about sharing what i’m currently working on and will work on in the future. thankfully my wip list is short but i’ve got some ideas for the future. read below! and to continue this chain, i’d like to tag @thedarkestlarrie (bc i love my b), @alienproof, @anylessreal, @fondleeds, and @mooodlighting (bc i love their work!)

1. the new romantics: this is my big bang fic!!! it is what i’ve been working on for the past 1 and half months v dilligently. it’s a john tucker must die au and i think it’s probably going to be a little less than 50k. i’m trying to make it funny??? not sure if it’s working but here’s hoping!!!! the angst isn’t all that bad tbh (compared to what i usually write) and i think it’s mostly bc i got the idea from a rom com and didn’t want it to be this serious, angsty thing. i’ve been having fun with it and i cannot wait to put it out!!! here is a little snippet from part 1

Just then, Liam appeared at the doorway, his eyes perking up when they landed on Louis.

“There you are,” he said. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“I’ve been here with Harry,” Louis told him. “He’s been making me drinks and listening to my troubles.”

Liam offered Harry a meek smile. “Sorry about him. He’s drunk. I hope he didn’t chat your ear off too much.”

“I’m not a child, Liam,” Louis glared. “It was a mutual conversation. I wasn’t being a pain. Right, Harry?”

Harry agreed. “Yeah, it’s cool.”

“I just meant that you can talk to any of us about how you’re feeling,” Liam explained to Louis. “Not strangers.”

“Harry’s not a stranger. We’re friends once removed.”

At that, Harry let out a loud laugh, prompting both Liam and Louis to turn to him. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Was a bit funny.”

i hope that made sense and if it didn’t you’ll find it VERY SOON what this whole thing was about lmao

2. like pretty lights: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my longest wip thats not even that long im just too lazy to write. god. honestly, you all can hate me for this bc i know i’ve been shit. this is my “mary’s song” au that i’ve had going for a good few years now. but i’m adamant on finishing this bc there’s only 1 and a half parts left. and i don’t even plan to make it THAT long. HOPEFULLY....JUST HOPEFULLY i can get it done as soon as i finish my big bang fic. i wrote like 2 pages for it tbh!!! lmao here is a small snippet of part 4. 

“We’re here,” Louis said, sighing a breath of relief as he pulled up in front of his house. Harry turned to look at his own, smiling at how it never changed. It was the same porch, those same rickety stairs, and the same Bluebell flowers out in the front yard garden. Except for the curtains in the living room. His mom wanted to update those into something more contemporary. But everything else -- everything else was the same.

3. talk is cheap: my gossip girl au requested by my readers who love me for my angst. i’m hoenstly SOOOO fucking excited for this. like ive got a big chunk of it planned. i just need to fix some details. i don’t have any snippets for this one since i haven’t started writing, but here is who is going to be who (tentative)

Louis - Blair Waldorf

Harry - Chuck Bass

Zayn - Serena Van Der Woodsen

Eleanor - Nate Archibald 

Liam - Dan

Niall - Georgina

Aiden Grimshaw - Vanessa

Lottie - Jenny (but still Louis’ younger sister, not Liam’s)

Gigi Hadid - Eleanor’s friend and Zayn’s gf

Sophia Smith - Aiden and Liam’s friend from Brooklyn

Nick Grimshaw - Carter Bazen  

4. best kind of bad something & go ahead rip my heart out, if that’s what love’s all about: i’ve been wanting to write this norcal au where louis’ the town troublemaker and everyone hates him except for harry SINCE the beginning of time!!! but somehow it just keeps getting pushed. maybe i can get on it sometime this summer. i do have a snippet for this one, though :))

Louis tapped on the glass once.

Harry looked startled, jumping slightly in his computer chair where he was staring at his computer screen, probably reading some article about college or something boring like that. He narrowed his eyes in on Louis, like he couldn’t quite tell who it was, but then recognition flooded his expression and he got up. Louis smiled happily as Harry unlocked his window and lifted it open for him to crawl through.

“Oomph,” Louis mumbled, landing on his bum on top of the bed. “I’m exhausted.”

“Where did you come from?” Harry asked, closing his window again. The air conditioner was on full blast, the room cool and comfortable, just like Harry. He was wearing thin sweatpants with nothing on top.

“Was hanging out with Niall and Zayn at my house. Then we popped by the Hastings house for a visit and now I’m here.” Louis rested his head on his clasped arms, staring up at the white ceiling. He felt the bed dip where Harry sat beside him.

“You popped by their house for a visit?” he asked, his tone suspicious.

Louis nodded. “Old Hastings needed to be taught a lesson.”

“Louis!” Harry sighed. “What did you do?”

“Exactly what I should have since the fucker fucked up my tires,” Louis muttered angrily.

“Louis, tell me what you did.”

“Relax, will you?” Louis said, looking at him as he sat up again and walked back over to the window where he could overlook the streets below. “It wasn’t half as bad as it could have been. I just poured red dye in his pool.”

those are my top plans, but here is a small list of what i’ll write in the future that haven’t properly been fleshed out yet!

kiss me beneath the milky twilight - ‘90s au

home.mp3 - high school/coming out/coming of age au

several small one shots as part of this secret collab project which i cannot reveal a damn thing about!!!!

[curlyhairedcuntandboobear]

My thoughts: So like they are making really great points but Lou is a fake clueless bc all the “wrongs” she is talking about she did herself (cultural appropriation, heavy fillers etc), she even talked about beauty bakerie and how big brands copied them (huda did for example but still Lottie did a collab with them?) Idk if she is being fake to be nice or if she actually learned? (i doubt) — 1/?

2/? Trash says things that actually make no sense but like we knew she was fat phobic (she basically said she is uncomfortable when she see “larger people’s pics” and she twisted her own words so much but she already said it soooo) — She is the typical “I don’t use makeup uh I just put lipstick on because of you Lou” please spare us — Lou talking about wrong colours on boys? Is she really that clueless or?

3/? — Tanologist promo someone save me (also Lou said “we have this brand” but that’s another drama itself ahah) — Trash is super boring and basic someone saves me ahah — Lou T thinks she is the shit and she knows everything about anything and MY GOD how pretentious?! She keeps talking about “when you’re older” referring to herlsef when she is the first one acting like a kid and also make up has so age !!!

4/? — Trash acting like she is so surprised of the digital age is the fakest thing ever — “Huda is like the Kardashian” oh yeah same nastiness also the whole explanation Lou did of Huda is so ridic — so like Trash said Lou is always on holiday judging from her insta and Lou said “thats why they hate us” and Trash goes “no one hates you, they are just jealous” where do I start?! — Trash said “all the products you use on Harry and Niall ... “ I gagged —

5/? Lou said “Lottie was one of the boys’ little sister” hello his name is Louis I’m ? — Lou making it look like Kylie changed social media to me is so stupid, sorry and also she is acting like her and Lottie invented using social media with brands?! — Trash laughing at Lou when she said she went to a surgeon to fix her stretched lobe says everything about her as a person — ok IM DONE overall it was really tedious, basic and ignorant imo but are we really surprised? For both? No, not really!

Overall I’m not surprised at all. Also Lou T hasn’t been near Harry’s or Niall’s hair in a decade and thanks god. Also why can’t she name Louis when all she does is spending time with Lottie? Louis probably asked to never be mentioned in the pizzettara’s proximity. I’m sorry you had to listen to all that, but thanks for coming back with this!!!!

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s April 2018 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

It’s the 28th of another month and time for more fan fic writer and fan artist appreciation! This list is a long one this month since I went on vacation and was able to do more reading than usual, so let’s get going with the list of fics I was lucky enough to be able to read!

Everything Comes Back To You by @jaerie / jaerie This was so soft! Hurt/comfort going both ways and Marcel and soft Louis and just so many things I love in a fic. It was lovely and I adored it.

Saw It In Your Eyes by @taggiecb / taggiecb You know that post about the totally straight guy that has a freakout because he saw his (openly gay) roommate with another dude and he’s afraid he’s homophobic but it turns out he was just jealous and not as straight as he thought? THIS FIC IS BASED ON THAT POST AND IT’S GLORIOUS I TELL YOU!!!

peppermint by ihavetoomuchfreetime Okay listen. I rarely read pairings other than Larry, but when I do it’s usually Tomlinshaw or Ziam, and this Ziam fic was fab. It was recced to me to help me while I was dealing with some of the worst spring allergies I’ve had in years and it made me giggle through my itchy eyes and scratchy throat. I defo recommend it.

Friend of the Devil by @taggiecb / taggiecb This is more of the Satan/Santa series Lacey has going and it’s PHENOMENAL OKAY! all of them need read so just. Please make sure you do. They’re the fluffiest shit I think we will ever have Lacey give us. lol

No Easy Love (Could Make Me Feel This Way) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 Alpha Louis/Alpha Harry exes to lovers fluffy smutty shit? YES PLEASE! And in true Anitra fashion, they were both adorable while also being hysterical in parts with a side of emotions, so there’s that too.  A defo must read.

I’d Still Dance With You by @flamboyantommo / kikikryslee Gosh I love age difference fics and I don’t even know why. I’d been looking forward to this one and it defo didn’t disappoint. It was so sweet and lovely and so good, even if I did want to bash people’s heads in every once in awhile. lolll

Don’t Be Scared Pretty Kitty by ttomlinstyles Okay listen. I’m a sucker for hybrid fics and this was one of the first ones I ever read, back before I understood how to use ao3 and bookmarks and such so when it was linked to me again I about died. Please be careful of the tags, but I did thoroughly enjoy the reread!

For the Love of Biscuits by Snowy38 Another hybrid fic cause I loooove them haha This one was so sweet and lovely! It was everything I love about hybrid fics hehe

Cling to Me by Snowy38 Koala!Harry!!!!!! Seriously, this fic was SOOOO SWEET and adorable and I want all the koala fics now. it was so so so cute.

Don’t Talk Dirty To Me by @miafi / miadotfi This had me laughing so hard while also being somewhat mortified hahaha It was such a great little pick me up for a bad day! I loved it.

Saving Symphony Hall by @helloamhere / helloamhere I’m sure everyone’s already heard the praises being sung for this fic by now, but honestlyyyyyyy! It was glorious and I loved the delving into the a/b/o world while still having so much more be a part of it than just that and the various plot points and everything and it was just. So good. 

Simply Irresistable by @all-these-larrythings / rearviewdreamer This fic was so lovely. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it was one of those where the characters do just what you want them to (or they did just what I wanted them to anyway lol) and it makes for such a great, happy, soft read. 

If You Want More, Then Here I Am by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2 Mel scored once again! She just keeps blessing us with the a/b/o goodness and soulmates and just. This one was once again filled with her awesome humor and pining silly boys. It was a great vacation read :D

Always Darkest before the Sunrise by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry Despite the fact the title always makes me start singing Florence (and I know, the lyrics aren’t even the same! I can’t help it!), I really do love this fic. There was such a mystical and almost chaotic feel to it until things started piecing together, and I loved how it was truly a mystery from the beginning as to how everything would come together. 

Cosmic Love by @smittenwithlouis / smittenwithlouis Guys. This fic. I’ve got a few alien fics this month, but I just loved this one! It seemed so real for how everyone would react to the given situation and I can’t stop laughing over Aerosmith, tbh. Anyway. A great fic!

Wild at Heart Ain’t Hard to Find by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen Girl Larry with besties Boy Niam?? In a historical town in the Wild West? Gosh yes. It was so hot and fun and sassy and I adored it. 

I Didn’t Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 Okay listen. lollllll More fab a/b/o, more fab humor, and MONITOR LIZARDS. lollll okay so only one monitor lizard. But still. It was a fab read that I fully enjoyed every minute of.

Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Is by @fakedeepplantjerker / kassio Okay. As soon as I read Caught My Attention, I immediately begged that we not be left wondering and was glad to hear the wonderful kassio/fakedeepplantjerker was planning a sequel. I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE SUCH A GLORIOUS SEQUEL. I loved the first part, but the second was just as amazing, if not more so. Defo read the first part, absolutely 100% read this sequel!

Introduction to Dynamics by @juliusschmidt / juliusschmidt This fic was AMAZING. The structure of it, the issues brought about regarding late presentation and the transition during that time as well as just everything regarding Louis being a male omega and all the craziness with that was just. AMAZING. As should be expected from all fics Alex touches, really. But yeah, I loved this one very much a lot.

Convalescent Boy (With a Heart of Gold) by Anonymous Okay the Gryles friendship in this fic made me cackle and made me think of me with some of my friends so I absolutely loved it, but the way that Marcel was with Louis and vice versa was so lovely! So sweet! So tender! I adored it.

Linger by @yourpricelessadvice / yourpricelessadvice Who else adores slow burn? And people trying to ignore the fact they should totally date and kinda are dating but are pretending they are just friends? Cause I know I do and this fic was fab for that. Plus we got to know the side characters so well and get good insight to other relationships in there and it was just glorious. I really enjoyed this one!

Don’t Let the Tide Come and Take Me by @icanhazzalou / kiwikero Mermaid Harru! With a twist! Gosh I adored this. I was freaking out, trying to figure out how it would all work out the entire time but then I was like WHAAAAAA and it was incredible. Defo give this one a read!

Lead Butterfly by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry Pirates! Nobles! Poor Harry and Captain Louis! Tattoos! Hurt/Comfort! Awesome Niall and Liam! There is seriously so much in this fic to love and I’ve barely touched on it. 

Both Sides by @louiesunshine / louiesunshine GOSH I am a sucker for friends to lovers and this was the epitome of that. Pining out of the gills, the inevitability of it all, you know? It just was glorious and lovely and pure and I really enjoyed it!

Ain’t That a Kick in the Head! by @lesbianharrie and @maybetheyrefireproof/ lesbianharrie and wreckingtomlinson This might be the funniest fic I’ve ever read. I loved it for about 17 million reasons and was crying laughing/wheezing/trying not to pee cause it was just all sorts of amazing. Disaster gay Harry was a gift I didn’t know I needed until I had it and I’m so happy I do now. 

Before I Fall Too Fast by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse / xxSterre All the pining. All of it. Friends that are always pining and loving each other from afar is just everything I adore in a fic and that’s what we were gifted with here. What a lovely read.

Wearing Nothing But Your Kiss by @catfishau / dinosaursmate KK is the queen of Friends AUs and this one of course is as amazing as the others. It made me giggle and laugh and hope for them to figure their shit out. A classic KK read, which obvs means you wanna be sure not to miss it.

The Balcony by @maggieisalarrie / maggieisalarrie (ls2k14) This was exactly what I needed on a horrible mental health day where I couldn’t focus on anything. It was short but entertaining and silly and a fun read. I was so happy it was there for when I needed it!

SPHERICAL by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses)  This was also exactly what I needed on that same horrible day and this also made me giggle and helped me get out of myself. It was just so damn pure and I honestly wanted more hahaha It was fab and a gift.

Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere / helloamhere Area 61. That’s all I’m saying about that, but I’m still giggling days later over that. Once again, another alien Harry fic! Can you tell this is also a weakness of mine? I love it. This was so emotional and lovely and so much more than a road trip fic, even though I love those too. It was just...I can’t even find words for it. Just read it please.

Peace So Sweet by @shyshyserious / shyserious Another amazing a/b/o fic, but this one featuring NESTING!!! I love omega nesting instincts and had forgotten how much so until I read this fic. What a fab fic and again, protective alpha Louis and nesting omega Harry? Like, if that’s not you’re thing then fine, but you should defo give it a chance because it was lovely.

Whew. And that’s it friends! It was long this month, but I really loved all of these fics and thank you so much to the amazing authors who put so much time and effort into giving me these hours of entertainment! I adore all of you for it. Until May, Happy Reading!