#And yes Elizabeth’s name is a Elizabeth Swan joke

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

i would like to be introduced to your stuffed animals if you have any of course

Of course

So I have Mud. He’s a little octopus my cousin made me for Christmas (Yes I made art of him):

And I have Calum Mari, my emotional support squid. I made him by scaling down that 6-foot squid post:

Then theres Elizabeth. Shes not stuffed but you get to see her anyway:

And I have this unnamed narwhale (I made him too):

And this tiny unnamed stegosaurus i made:

So thats basically the whole crew :)

[muse539]

We Don’t Know What’s Out There

So my friend M is a bad (fantastic) influence, and when I shared an instagram post that was basically a prompt with them, they encouraged me to write it. So, I did. Read it on Ao3!

Summary: While Mike Newton is waiting for the semester to start at his Sacramento college, he finds himself turning to the TV show "Ghost Adventures" to keep himself entertained. He knows it's all fake, of course. At least, he thought he did, until he finds himself looking at a familiar face.

....

“The ghost we’re hunting tonight is Edward Anthony Masen Jr. He was a patient at this Chicago hospital during the Spanish Influenza in 1918, until he vanished without a trace.”

"Is that... Cullen?"

After finally, mercifully, at last leaving Forks in early August, Mike Newton found himself without much to do. His parents had insisted that he move down to Sacramento before the semester started.

That would make sense, except that the semester didn’t start for three weeks, and Mike was bored out of his skull.

So, like anyone might in his situation, he turned to the TV to occupy his time. It was a small thing, but it would get the job done.

Huh, wonder what’s this about, Mike thought, pausing his rapid flipping on five guys in a dark hallway, decked out in night vision equipment. The banner in the bottom of the screen said “Ghost Adventures.”

“Elizabeth, speak to us, ” one of them said, holding out a radio.

Huh. Might as well see what this is about.

---

It was a quiet evening in the Cullen house. Renesmee was visiting Jacob on the reservation, much to Edward’s chagrin.

“If you keep frowning like that, your face might get stuck that way.” Bella used her thumb to smooth out the skin between her husband’s eyebrows before cupping his cheek. Bella didn’t like being away from Renesmee any more than Edward did, she was just better at hiding it.

Edward sighed, leaning into Bella’s hand.

Dude, you’re pathetic.

Edward shot a glare in Emmett’s direction before meeting Bella’s eyes. “It’s hard, her being where we cannot.”

“I know.” Bella sighed. “At least we know Jake would protect her, if anything happened.”

“Hmm.”

---

Man! Who knew a communications class would be so hard! Mike turned away from his homework. Spring semester had been kicking his ass for weeks now.

At least he lived on his own. Mike couldn’t imagine what it would be like, having to share a room the size of a shoebox with another person. Especially since they probably wouldn’t let him watch his favorite show!

“Ghost Adventures” had pretty quickly become Mike’s latest fixation. He’s never missed an episode, a fact he is shamelessly proud of.

From the corner of his desk, his phone buzzed. Jessica, of course.

Mike has been trying to shake her off for months, to no avail. He sighed.

That’s it, that’s enough for today. Mike pushed away from his desk and turned on the TV. Ghost Adventures would be on soon.

---

“Don’t ‘hmm’ at me,” Bella smiled, “use your words.”

“Yeah, Edward, use your words .” Emmett guffawed.

“ That’s it.” Edward started to rise out of his seat, and Emmett happily took a defensive stance.

They launched at each other.

From upstairs, Esme’s voice rang out, “You boys better mind my furniture!”

---

A few miles away, in La Push, Jacob and Renesmee had just gotten back to Billy’s house. The Pack had gone cliff diving, and Renesmee insisted on attending, even if it gave Jacob a heart attack.

“I’m just as durable as you are,” she’s said, in that special way of hers.

“I know, I know. But you’re not even one yet, Nessie!” Nevermind that she was already the size of a 10-year-old at just 9, almost 10, as Nessie enjoyed reminding him, months old. “It’s the principle of the thing!”

Renesmee just pressed her desire into his skin harder. Jacob was powerless.

“Okay, okay!”

And so they’d gone. They had a fantastic time, once Jacob “got over himself,” as Seth has put it.

Now, they were nestled on Billy’s couch, flipping through the channels. Renesmee stopped him on one.

“Oh, Ness, you probably won’t want to watch this. It’s scary.”

There were questions in Nessie’s hands.

“It’s about ghost hunting. Or, at least, that’s what they think they’re doing. We both know ghosts don’t exist, but they play a lot of scary music, and they try to freak you out. Frankly, I think it’s kind of funn-”

“The ghost we’re hunting tonight is Edward Anthony Masen Jr. He was a patient at this Chicago hospital during the Spanish Influenza in 1918, until he vanished without a trace.”

Nessie’s hand pressed insistently to his cheek. “Daddy?”

Jake was in shock. “Uh, yeah. That’s your dad. Hold on-” he reached for his phone.

---

Breaking away from Emmett, Edward picked up his phone when it started to ring, heart sinking when he saw Jacob’s name.

“Jacob? Is everything okay?” Every eye in the room turned to Edward, each vampire holding their breath.

“Turn on Ghost Adventures right now! They’re talking about you!”

Bella had the TV on before Jacob finished speaking.

“ Will Edward be among the spirits we talk to here tonight?”

---

“The ghost we’re hunting tonight is Edward Anthony Masen Jr. He was a patient at this Chicago hospital during the Spanish Influenza in 1918, until he vanished without a trace. His parents, Elizabeth and Edward Masen Sr., were also patients, and their bodies were recovered.”

During Zak’s monologue, a blurry photo of the Masen family was shown. Mike dropped his hot pocket.

“Is that Cullen?”

---

Mike Newton watched the rest of the episode, growing increasingly nauseous with each passing minute.

The guy in the photos, Edward Anthony Masen, looks almost exactly like Edward Cullen. But there’s no way, right? Even if that Edward had survived the Spanish Flu, there’s no way he’d still be alive now. And even if he was , he wouldn’t look like Edward Cullen. He’d be a wrinkly old man!

Yeah, yeah, Mike told himself. There’s no way. That’s crazy though, Cullen is a dead ringer for that guy. Wow.

---

After that night, appearing on ghost shows became a bit of a running joke in the Cullen household. They had a white board set up behind the television, keeping tally. Given how often paranormal TV shows enjoy venturing into abandoned hospitals and psychiatric wards, Edward and Alice had the most marks, with Alice in the lead, to her unending delight.

One of Emmett’s favorite pastimes, whenever one of them appeared on an episode, was to sit in front of the TV shouting “they’re right here, you idiots!” and “boo!”

Renesmee erupts into giggles whenever he does it, so no one has asked him to stop.

---

Mike Newton has yet to move home from Sacramento. He’d visit Forks during school breaks, and stay for most of the summer, but he kept his apartment in Sacramento until he graduated.

Once it was time to move out, however, him never moving home for the summer came back to bite him.

“ How have I accumulated so much crap ?” Mike sighed as he looked over the haphazard piles of things he needed to shove into boxes. His parents would be here in a few hours with a trailer.

Resigned, Mike sighed and grabbed the first box.

He got distracted, naturally. He had found a box with old high school memories, and was laughing at a picture of himself and Bella “playing” volleyball in the yearbook.

Beneath the pile of yearbooks, there was a thick, nicely printed envelope addressed to him.

Huh. What’s this? Mike thought, as he pulled it out.

“This” was a wedding invitation. Bella’s, actually. Mike smiled. He wondered how she was doing, and resolved to check in with her when he got home.

Over the next few minutes, Mike found his eyes repeatedly straying back to the wedding invitation. Something about it was nagging at him, but he didn’t know what.

I mean, I’ve always thought it was weird how people put their full names on their invitations. Michael Welch Newton? No thank you. He shuddered, and his eyes strayed to the invitation once again. Isabella Marie Swan. That has a nicer ring to it, I guess. But Edward’s is a mouthful. Edward Anthony Masen Cu-

Mike paused. Why did that name sound so familiar? He pulled out his phone. This is probably a long shot . He typed Edward’s name into the search bar.

No results for ‘Edward Anthony Masen Cullen,’ two million results for ‘Edward Anthony Masen.’

Mike dropped his phone.

---

The banner stretching across the windows in the back of the house read “Happy Fourth Anniversary!”

Bella clasped her hands together, and silently thanked that she couldn’t blush anymore. “Aw! You guys are so sweet, thank you!”

“And of course, we have gifts!” Alice beamed at the couple, only Jasper’s hand in hers stopping her from bounding across the room to pull her siblings into a hug.

That, after all, was Renesmee’s job.

“Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad!” Ness threw herself into her parents arms. Now almost 4-years-old, Renesmee was the size of a 16-year-old, but had a maturity far beyond her years.

Bella and Edward smiled at their daughter, and simultaneously pressed stone kisses to her flaming cheeks.

Soon after, Jacob’s pack arrived. Over the years, Leah had warmed to the Cullens considerably, though she still scrunched her nose for the first few minutes she was inside. She, Jacob, and Seth each greeted Edward and Bella with a scorching hug.

“Happy anniversary, guys!”

“Thanks, Seth.” Edward smiled while Renesmee went and claimed a couch for her and Jacob.

“Okay, gifts!” Alice flitted around the room. Bella sighed.

Jasper raised an eyebrow, smiling. “You should be proud she lasted this long, Bella.”

Bella laughed. “Yes, heaven forbid Alice learn restraint .”

“ Hey! ”

Bella stuck her tongue out at Alice, Emmett guffawed, Renesmee stifled her laugh in Jacob’s shoulder.

Alice bounced back towards and thrust an envelope into Bella’s hands. She opened the envelope and pulled out 4 plane tickets, round trip, to Ireland.

“Wow, Alice. Thank you, this is too much.” Bella stood and pulled her sister into a hug.

“Well, I wanted to make sure that it was a place that was cloudy enough for you all to go outside during the day, and also spoke English. As fantastic as your German is, Bella, I’m not sure how long you could survive.”

Bella playfully snarled at Alice; Alice cheerfully stuck out her tongue in response.

“I’m just glad you’re getting out of the country so we’re no longer in the blast radius of your hot, passionate -”

“Emmett!” Bella shot a glare in his direction before glancing at Renesmee.

Then, there was a knock at the door.

---

Mike Newton was only staying on the Cullen’s front porch out of sheer force of will. Hell, he was only standing out of sheer force of will. He’d barely slept the last few days, hell, months . Mike had become obsessed, reading everything he could about Edward Anthony Masen, which wasn’t much, and then about the Cullen family--which was somehow even fewer. No social media, no public marriage licenses. He’d found just enough to suggest they existed, not much more. He was no private investigator, but it still rubbed Mike the wrong way.

Dr. Cullen opened the door. “Mr. Newton! What brings you here? Are you alright?”

Mike tried not to throw up. “Yeah, uh, hi! Dr. Cullen. I, uh, well, here’s the thing,” he took a deep breath. “This is probably going to sound ridiculous. I think I’ve actually gone insane, lost it, like my gran. Ha ha! Yeah, uh.”

WIth each word, Dr. Cullen looked more and more concerned. Over his shoulder, Mike could see a ‘Happy Anniversary’ sign.

“So, um, if you could just confirm something for me real fast, that would be great. Spectacular really.”

“Of course, what do you need, Mike?”

The words rushed out of him. “If you could just tell me that Edward is not actually a ghost that somehow has a physical body that would be great.”

The man himself walked into Mike’s field of vision. “Ah, you saw the ‘Ghost Adventures’ episode too, did you? It’s amazing, how much we look alike. Edward Anthony Masen is a cousin of mine, on my biological father’s side.”

Mike blinked dumbly. “Oh. Huh. That, uh, makes a lot of sense. Huh. Okay. Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Of course.”

Smiling, Dr. Cullen closed the door.

---

“What the fuck was that ,” Jacob asked.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. “It seems, rather annoyingly, that Mike Newton is more clever than I gave him credit for.”

“This is dangerous, Edward,” Carlisle looked nervous. “These shows, and their digging into the past… people that have seen us are starting to recognize us.”

“Surely there is something we can do?” Esme placed a calming hand on Carlisle’s arm.

“You just saw it,” Alice chirped. “Play it off like we’re our own long-lost relatives. We’ve all seen it before; humans want to accept the most reasonable explanation.”

They lapsed into silence, lost in thoughts.

“Edward may want to lose the middle names, though,” Rosalie drolled.

“Yeah,” Leah scoffed. “Probably.” Renesmee laughed.

The tension broke, and their day resumed.

“So,” Jacob swung a fist and bumped Bella’s arm. “When do you want to go to Ireland, bestie?”

Bella groaned.

[shireness-says]

Playing the Part Epilogue: Superboy and the Invisible Girl (Reprise)

Summary: As a stage manager who’s clawed her way up from the bottom, Emma Swan can handle just about anything thrown her way. But does that include handsome lead actor Killian Jones? A CS Broadway AU.  Rated T. Also on AO3.  Prologue  Ch. 1  Ch. 2  Ch. 3Ch. 4  Ch. 5  Ch. 6  Ch. 7  Ch. 8  Ch. 9  Ch. 10  Ch. 11  Ch. 12 Ch. 13  Ch. 14  Ch. 15  Ch. 16  Ch. 17  Ch. 18

A/N: We made it, guys! Thanks for sticking with me through the slowest slow burn ever. I like to think it paid off.

Title taken from “Next to Normal”. Full disclosure, there is not a reprise of “Superboy and the Invisible Girl” in the musical. However, a reprise oftentimes takes the original song and builds upon it, adding extra verses to show development in plot. It seemed appropriate for this chapter, which has echoes of Chapter 13 (Also called Superboy and the Invisible Girl).

One last round of thanks to @snidgetsafan for her beta services, and an extra thank you to everyone who’s reblogged, liked, commented, or messaged me about this!

Tags: @kmomof4, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer, @mythologicalmango, @onceuponaprincessworld, @idristardis, @teamhook, @courtorderedcake, @aerica13, @revanmeetra87, @snowbellewells, @searchingwardrobes, @mystrangedarkson

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy this sappy conclusion!

Four years later

“Welcome back to Sign Off, everybody!”

Emma knows that Killian will do his ear scratch when he finds her watching his segment, but she wouldn’t miss this for the world. It’s like reliving a little bit of their history. Plus, it’s not every day that your spouse is on national television; skipping this would earn her “Bad Wife” points, or something.

He’s still bashful as he walks out, still kind of ducks his head when he waves and acts like he’s embarrassed to be there. You’d think after several years of magazine interviews and newspaper profiles and talk show appearances he’d lose some of that shyness and uncertainty, or at least get used to it, but some things never change. It’s a damn good thing she finds it cute.

Archie is as charming as ever, shaking Killian’s hand with an enthusiasm usually reserved for inside jokes. That’s just who the host is, though. “So, it’s been a while since we saw you last. I hear a few things have happened.”

“Oh, just a few.”

Hopper starts pulling out photos. “Pride and Prejudice was a hit.”

“Yes, a great group effort. They just closed a few months ago, congrats to everyone involved.”

The host shows a picture from his Tony speech. “You won a Tony for playing Mr. Darcy.”

“So they tell me. My brother kidnapped the statue.”

(That’s only halfway true. Yes, Liam had taken the statue for a while, setting up a popular Instagram account to display all the places he took the golden figure. One of those places had been Henry’s 6th grade English class, turning her son into a middle school celebrity for a couple of months. Though bringing Liam and Killian along with the award probably had something to do with that, too.)

Emma can just spot the Tony now from where she sits, bookending a cluster of novels on the top shelf of the bookshelf in her and Killian’s apartment. It had been a little bittersweet, leaving her old apartment where she and Henry had both grown and flourished, but she and Killian had both agreed that they would need more space. It’s worth it, anyways, to wake up next to Killian every day in a place that’s theirs. Emma misses living next door to Elsa some days, but now that Henry’s fifteen her supervision isn’t quite so needed anymore anyways. It would have come to an end regardless when Elsa had moved in with Liam in his fancy apartment. Emma instead contents herself with the knowledge that Elsa’s job at the Met - her dream job, really - means she and Liam will be based in New York for the foreseeable future, even if the latter occasionally does have to leave for filming in other locations. Killian likes to joke about his brother and Elsa “living in sin”, like they hadn’t done the same thing, but it does mean they still get to see Liam and Elsa fairly often.

Her real Killian walks back into the living room at that point. “Oh Christ, not this drivel. Emma, I’m embarrassed enough as it is, let’s find something else to watch.” He may gripe and groan, but he still collapses onto the couch beside her, letting out an appreciative and exhausted sigh.

“Oh, I’m watching this, babe,” she replies, smiling over at Killian before burrowing her head into his side. She knows by this point that he’s all bark; he’s a pushover, really, especially where his family is concerned.

She must have missed the introduction of his latest movie project – an interesting project portraying Pan as the villain of Neverland with Killian playing Captain Hook as a misunderstood rogue – because there’s publicity stills up on the screen when she redirects her attention back that way.

“My stepson’s a little upset, really, because he had the idea first,” the Killian on the screen explains. “Which, trust me, was not the reaction I was hoping for.”

“Hey, that was almost funny,” Emma comments, nudging him in the side as the audience laughs.

“It’s embarrassing, is what it is,” Killian grouses. It must be that thing where actors don’t like seeing their own work - Emma’s read about that before. It’s not going to stop her from affectionately picking at him, though, and it’s not going to keep her from watching the whole thing.

“And on a personal note, does everyone remember this moment from last time?” Archie asks, cutting to the clip of Killian talking about a certain prickly and dedicated stage manager. When the camera cuts back, she knows what’s coming, and smiles when she feels Killian press a kiss to her head as the host pulls out a copy of their wedding photo. “Well good news to all those shipping that on the internet, because you two tied the knot!” The audience cheers, and as Emma watches televised Killian grin widely, she thinks that’s the most comfortable she’s ever seen him in an interview. “Now, how long have you two been married now?”

“Coming up on two years, three months from now.”

He’d proposed one evening when Emma had least expected it. They’d talked about marriage before - considering that they were living together and in a committed relationship, having that conversation seemed like the responsible thing to do - but it had been a lovely surprise all the same. Killian had been waiting with the ring when she got home from work on a Wednesday, on bended knee and everything in their little foyer with Henry filming just around the corner. Killian had explained later, after the yes and the ring and an awful lot of kissing, that it had seemed important to make his proposal a family affair and include Henry. He loves her son, just as much as he loves her (albeit in a different way); Emma knows that, but it still means a lot that he’d included her son in their major life moment in that way. Henry had been a part of their love story, after all.

(Emma suspects that there may have been a conversation between Killian and Henry before the proposal as well where Killian had asked her son for her hand, but neither of them has ever fessed up to it, and she’s okay with leaving that as a man-to-man moment if they prefer it.)

The wedding had been a low-key affair, much to Mary Margaret’s dismay - just a little courthouse ceremony. Emma had never been the big white wedding type, though, had never had those dreams as a child. Now that she’s faced with the opportunity for all that, she finds that she doesn’t really want or need it. At the end of the day, they just want to be married; they love each other, almost to distraction, and waiting any longer than absolutely necessary feels like too great a burden.

Still, they’d done it up as much as the quick circumstances allowed. Emma had bought a clearance wedding dress that swished around her calves, and Killian had taken Henry to get a nice suit - his first, the sleeves and legs given extra length to be let out as the growth spurt from hell inevitably continued so they could get more than one use out of the damn thing. They had even arranged for a bouquet and boutonnières, even if Emma doesn’t know anything about flowers. As soon as Liam had arrived back in the city from filming in Atlanta, they had gathered all their friends and family on a dark Monday and made it official.

Henry stood as Best Man. Mary Margaret cried. Ruby wolf-whistled. And Emma had never been happier as Killian dipped her into a dramatic kiss.

“Are you happy, my love?” he’d whispered into her ear later at Granny’s. The older woman had gladly donated her diner for the reception, closing for the occasion so they could all eat cake and dance to jukebox hits.

“What do you think?” she’d quipped right back, before laughing and drawing him down into a kiss. It feels like they’ve come full circle; it feels like home.

(She may still be Emma Swan professionally, but there’s a certain thrill to hearing Mrs. Jones.)

“And one more thing…” Archie continues on the TV, drawing Emma’s attention back to the screen. If possible, televised Killian grins even wider: if what she thinks is about to happen is actually about to happen, she doesn’t blame him in the least. “… You two had a little girl.” The photo on the screen is a sweet one of her little fingers curled around Killian’s thumb. Emma knows it well; it hangs in the nursery, right next to the rocker where Emma’s lately been spending what feels like half her nights.

“We did. She just turned five months old last week.”

“And her name? If you guys are ok to announce it.”

“Hazel Elizabeth Jones.” The audience aws, which the tiny baby propped in her Papa’s arms here in their living room seems to find objectionable as she starts squirming and snuffling. “Emma and I thought it would be appropriate to pay homage to the show where we met.”

They’d had it in mind from the start, ever since they’d found out they were having a girl. There’d been a good bit of debate and waffling back and forth about the first name, but they’d always agreed on Elizabeth for the middle. Hazel hadn’t actually been on the shortlist, just something that’d they’d discussed and put aside, but then she’d arrived - six pounds four ounces, dark hair, loud cry, perfect, and it had just… fit. If there’s one thing Emma’s learned since Killian, it’s not to question a good thing.

Parenting now, 15 years after her first child, is both easier and harder. There’s an exhaustion that comes with age that’s only compounded by caring for an infant. It helps though, more than she can ever describe, to have a partner in this, not to mention a secure housing and financial situation. Killian’s a great dad - to both her children, really - and it’s a particular joy to watch him with their baby.

“You’re okay, lass, you’re okay,” he murmurs now, bouncing their daughter against his chest to attempt to calm her down. It works, thank God; Henry’s been great about all the changes in their lives and is lucky enough to sleep through almost everything, but Emma still doesn’t like taking that chance on a school night.

“Little drama queen,” Emma murmurs affectionately, tweaking a little sock-clad foot. She’d forgotten just how tiny everything about babies is somewhere in the decade and a half between Henry and Hazel, but has loved rediscovering it.

“Maybe she’ll be an actor like Papa one day,” Killian suggests, quirking a teasing eyebrow in Emma’s direction.

She snorts. “Not if Mom has any say in it.”

“What, you don’t think we need more actors in this family?” His tone conveys mock-insult, but Emma can see that twinkle in his eye that means he’s joking.

“Nah, she’s gonna be a techie. I can feel it.”

Emma can faintly hear Archie offerings his congratulations and asking about Killian’s upcoming turn as Harold Hill in a televised performance of The Music Man, but she’s not really paying attention anymore, too preoccupied with this moment with her little family. Maybe that was Killian’s devious plan all along - distract her from his talk show appearance with their very cute baby. She can’t really complain about that.

“Ah, well, I suppose I can’t argue that,” he concedes. “Not when her mother’s so brilliant at it.”

Even after all this time, a compliment from Killian can still make her blush. He knows it, too, which only makes him do it more. She loves that about him, though. Suddenly, it seems very important that she express that very fact.

“I love you, Killian.” She’s said it hundreds, thousands of times before, but it still strikes her with wonder every time, just how much she loves the man sitting next to her.

“I love you too, my Swan,” he replies, placing a careful kiss on her lips while trying not to jostle the baby.

Though Emma knew accepting that stage managing job almost five years ago now would change her life, she never imagined in a million years that she’d end up here, with a husband and baby and her son sleeping just down the hall in a life better than she ever could have fathomed.

She wouldn’t change a thing.

[forksofwisdom]

Embers of the Sun - chapter 4

Story Summary: Bella Swan, the new student at Forks High, is ready to graduate. She was prepared for a boring year and just wanted to make a couple of friends. Why are there mutant Wolverines running around the woods of La Push? And why do all the handsome men she meets look at her with such unbridled horror? An imprinting AU where Bella moves to Forks two years later than in canon. 

Pairings: Bella/Paul, eventual Angela/Leah

You can also read the story on ff.net!

(chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3)

Not beta read!

Chapter summary: First day of school, Angela turns out to be a gift from the gods and the Cullen siblings… not so much. 

Chapter 4 - Meet the Cullens

The first discovery Bella made on Friday morning while walking from her front door to her truck was that the coat she’d brought from Arizona was not waterproof. It was pouring buckets, and she shivered as the raindrops pierced through the fabric of her coat and drenched the hoodie she was wearing underneath. Her second discovery was that dressing up for school had been a horrible decision; she’d worn her converse shoes that day and had landed in a puddle the moment she’d stepped out of her truck in the school parking lot. 

With a growl, Bella slammed shut her door and jumped onto dry land. She fumbled with her keys as she tried to shake the water from her shoes and felt like crying when she dropped them into the puddle. People were starting to stare, so Bella pulled up her hood to hide her misery and fished her keys up. She was tempted to pull the ties of her hoodie to cover her face entirely as she approached the front office to get her schedule. The school was a collection of matching square buildings. They were all the made from the same maroon-colored bricks and surrounded by trees and shrubs. Bella’s mood did not lift; the heavy rain clouds made everything seem so dreary and cold. Her foul expression was enough to keep anyone from approaching her, but she made an effort to clear her face before greeting the receptionist. 

The office has a small waiting room, equipped with folding chairs and a bulletin board, which displayed the words: Respect, Integrity, and Commitment. Underneath that was the school motto, ‘WE ARE ALL SPARTANS’, written in bright yellow letters.

“Isabella Swan, welcome,” said the squat woman sitting behind the desk before Bella had time to introduce herself. “Your father informed me you were coming.” Shelly Cope, her nameplate sat on the corner of her desk, had red hair and wore glasses that made her eyes seem small. Her impartial smile informed Bella that there wouldn’t be any small talk. 

Good, Bella thought.

“Yes, I’m here for my schedule,” Bella said. The secretary pushed away from the table and rolled her chair over to the printer and pulled out some paper that she stapled together before showing it to Bella.

“Here you are. I’ve put a map in there as well.” She flipped it from underneath Bella’s schedule to show her the school’s layout. ”Your first class is 12th grade English, and it’s held in Building 3, room six. Mr. Berty, your teacher, will provide you with all the material you need for his class.” The dismissal was evident in her voice, and Bella thanked her before heading out into the rain again. 

She shielded her papers from the worst of it and was grateful that Building 3 was the closest to the secretary office. 

“Bella!” 

Bella looked up at the sound of her name and saw it was Angela. They’d been about to enter the same building, and Bella nearly jogged into her when she paused to open the door. Angela held the door for her and their shoes squeaked against the linoleum floor, leaving wet footprints as they sought refuge from the rain.

“Hi, Angela,” Bella breathed. 

“I didn’t think I would see you so soon,” Angela said pleasantly. She pulled down the hood of her raincoat and unzipped it to shake her hair out. Her glasses were starting to fog up from the rise in temperature. “What class do you have?”

“English,” Bella answered.

“With Mr. Berty? Me too.” Angela was familiar with the hallways, and Bella let her guide them to classroom six. There were a handful of students loitering outside the classroom, sluggish and heavy-lidded as they waited for the bell to ring. Angela waved to them, and the jerked their heads and mumbled an unenthusiastic greeting. Bella would fit in nicely here. She was already exhausted after having spent the entire night tossing and turning in bed from first-day-of-school jitters.

“What kind of teacher is he?” Bella asked her and sent the gathered students a stiff smile. Like Ms. Cope, they didn’t seem surprised to see her and shot her furtive sidelong glances.

The bell rang, signaling the start of class.

“I guess you’ll see for yourself,” Angela said apologetically as a tall man with graying hair opened the door from the inside. He must be Mr. Berty. He waved them inside with little fanfare, and Bella saw that he was wearing a tweed suit jacket with elbow patches and plaid pants. He looked like he could either be the type who believed that his own brilliance was wasted as a high school teacher or was simply eccentric. Bella hoped it was the latter.

They filed into a standard looking classroom. It was smaller than Bella was used to. Posters made by previous students covered the white walls, and the wooden tables were organized into three neat rows. They only allowed two students to sit side by side. Mr. Berty returned to his desk and Bella approached him while the students took their seats.  

“Who might you be?” Mr. Berty asked, peering at her over his reading glasses.

“I’m the new student, Isabella Swan,” Bella said, and he nodded.

“Ah, yes. Here is the lesson plan for this term,” Mr. Berty said, and Bella was relieved that he wasn’t about to make her stand in front of the class and introduce herself like they were still in grade school. Instead, he did something much worse. “You might as well hand them out to the rest of the class. Take a seat once you’ve finished so we can get started.”

Bella took the stack of paper silently and made quick work of handing them out while Mr. Berty did the roll call. She avoided making eye contact with anyone, but her school bag hung off her elbow awkwardly, and it bumped against the tables every other step she took. She approached Angela last. She’d saved her a seat and Bella slid the sheet of paper over to her with a grateful smile.

“Now that we’re all here, there will be no mercy today even though it’s our first day. This is a double period class, and I see no point in wasting it by giving you a few more minutes of recess.” Mr. Berty clapped his hands together, making the half-asleep student jerk in their seats. He appeared to regain vigor from the sound of their groans. They’d all been hoping that he’d let them off easy today. “We’ll be focusing on Shakespeare’s work for the majority of the year but rest assured there will be plenty of opportunity for essay writing and presentations.” Mr. Berty smiled when his students slumped lower into their seats, their misery apparent.

The rest of his lecture continued in that fashion, and Bella wondered why teachers felt the need to tell their students everything that was written in the lesson plan. It must be a rite of passage to waste everyone’s time during the first day back. They were nearing the end of their first period when Mr. Bert finally stopped talking. He split them into pairs to 'work on their communication skills' as he put it.

Bella thanked the universe for already being acquainted with Angela because they shared a furtive grin and tackled the task at hand without needing any awkward introductions. They were supposed to compare their favorite work of fiction and discuss the differences and merits of each book. It turned out they both shared a love for Jane Austen so filling out the worksheet was a breeze. Angela chose Sense and Sensibility while Pride and Prejudice continued to be Bella’s favorite. They were in the midst of discussing the differences between Elinor Dashwood level-headedness and Elizabeth Bennet’s playful impertinence and drawing the similarities of their passionate nature when the bell rang. 

“I’ve never met anyone who’s into Austen as much as I am,” Angela told Bella after they’d handed their worksheet to Mr. Berty.

“Me neither,” Bella said. It was true, Bella had spent hours reading and re-reading the novels in her youth but had been crushed to realize that none of her old classmates shared her interest in the classics. “Now, you have to be honest with me because this question will be a deciding factor for me to keep you as my friend or not.” Bella’s tone was mockingly grim, and Angela caught on quickly and assumed a serious face. “Fuck, marry, kill; Mr. Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr. Collin?”

Angela burst out laughing, blushing lightly at Bella’s crude language. “Oh, one is easy; kill Mr. Collins, but I always had a little bit of a crush on the Colonel after having seen the BBC adaptation from 1995,” she mused, making Bella gasp with delight.

“You’ve seen it?” Bella asked with uncontainable delight. She’d watched the series so many times that Renée refused to watch it with her anymore. She forgot her nervousness. “I don’t care who you fuck or marry; you are officially my best friend!”

Angela seemed just as eager as Bella. “I’ve got the special edition with restored colors and commentary,” she admitted in a shy voice, and Bella looped their arms together, letting Angela lead their way to their next class, which was American History.

“I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Bella joked, and Angela nodded in agreement. 

Their history lesson passed quickly; their teacher was as eager for the break as the students and promptly dismissed them after giving them the rundown of the course. Bella and Angela continued their conversation, and soon they’d made plans to meet up sometime and watch Angela’s entire Jane Austen film and tv-series adaptations together. Making friends wasn't so hard as Bella had initially thought. She was so relieved to have found a kindred spirit in Angela that she forgot to be worried about lunch.

They were sitting at one of the tables located in almost every corner of the hallways around the school and Bella was getting to know Angela a little better. Angela had lived in Forks her entire life; her father was the Lutheran minister, and her mother worked as an accountant for a small local business. She also had twin brothers, Joshua and Isaac, who could be very rambunctious and trying at times but Bella could hear the affection in her voice as she recounted all of their mischiefs. Angela was just getting into the swing of things, telling Bella about the time her brothers had put a lobster in the cradle as Baby Jesus before the start of the annual Christmas play when they were interrupted.

“Yo, Angie!” A blond haired boy called with unnecessary loudness. He strutted down the hallway towards them with two other guys. He perked up at the sight of Bella and 

“Hi, I’m Mike,” he said and held out his hand for her to shake. He was smiling at her with a little too much interest and Bella heaved an internal sigh. 

“Guys this is Bella.” Angela, bless her heart, took it upon herself to make the introductions. “Bella this is Austin-” she gestured to the acne-ridden sandy-haired boy who raised his hand in greeting. “- and this is Ben.” The short, black haired boy shot Bella an awkward smile as he sat down next to Angela and entwined their fingers together. Bella blinked. Angela hadn’t mentioned having a boyfriend. 

“So, Bella-” Mike started to drawl.

“Where’s Jessica?” Angela asked Mike pointedly, cutting him off. He shrunk back and rubbed the back of his neck guiltily.

“She went with Lauren to save us a good table in the Mess,” Mike said. “She told us to go and find you. Your schedule is messed up; we hardly have any classes together. Ben here was starting to pine for you by the third period.”

Angela laughed awkwardly, tightening her grip on Ben and patted the back of his hand with her free hand. “Yeah, but I wouldn’t have met Bella otherwise. Besides, we have photography together next class,” she reassured Ben and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. He blushed.

“C’mon, I’m starving,” Austin groaned, and they got up. Angela disentangled herself from Ben and fell into step with Bella. He didn’t seem to mind and took to discussing the new chapter of some superhero novel with Austin. Bella couldn’t help but notice that Angela was an entire head taller than her boyfriend, who was about as tall as herself. 

The mess hall was starting to fill with hungry students, and they took their place in the forming queue to get their meal. The other students had food stamps, and Angela loaned Bella one of hers when she realized that she hadn’t brought any money.

“I’ll pay you back tomorrow,” Bella promised after thanking her. Angela shook her head and reassured her that it wasn’t necessary. Bella didn’t dare take the time to examine what the school had to offer with a line behind her and picked the same stuff as Angela. They headed for a table that was occupied by two pretty girls and two guys who were both wearing varsity jackets.

“Hey, Lauren, Jessica; this is Bella. She’s new here,” Angela introduced Bella when they took their seats.

“We know,” the girl with white blonde hair, Lauren, said. She seemed to dismiss Bella after giving her a once over with sharp green eyes and leaned into the dark-skinned boy sitting beside her. He tried to tangle his fingers in her hair, but she jerked her head away with a warning glare. He rolled his eyes and introduced himself as Tyler Crowley.

“Hi!” a brunette with voluminous curls waved cheerfully to Bella when she took a seat across from her. Mike had his arm around her shoulders. She must be Jessica. “Don’t mind, Lauren. She’s not good with new people.”

“Shut up, Jess,” Lauren scoffed, but there wasn’t any heat behind her words. Angela, who was sitting next to Bella, raised her eyebrows in a ‘what-can-you-do’ way and Bella stifled her smile.

“Hey, Conner,” Mike shared a fist bump with the other guy.

“Yo, dude. Did you catch the game last night?” Conner asked, licking his spoon free of yogurt. 

“The Seahawks got slaughtered, man,” Tyler laughed, and Mike buried his face in his hands with a groan.

“Don’t remind me.” Mike shook his head, and they launched into a heated argument over which team player was to blame for their defeat. Jessica rolled her eyes and leaned forward to tell Angela about what kind of morning she’d had. Apparently, she’d found a dead squirrel on her front porch.

“- I literally died,” Jessica said dramatically, and Lauren grimaced with disgust.

“What did you do with it?” 

“Dad got a stick and took it into the woods. It was super gross; it didn't have any eyes!” Jessica said with too much relish for a girl who was supposedly traumatized by the event. 

Bella nibbled on the side of her cafeteria bland pizza slice and realized that she was sitting with the popular cheerleaders and jocks. It was an absurd thought because she’d spent years making fun of their type. She couldn’t help but think that Jessica and Lauren were both shallow, but then again; she hadn’t known them for more than twenty minutes. 

It was a weird moment for her.

“So, we’re graduating soon. Have any, like, plans?” Lauren asked the entire table. She was obviously the leader here because the other conversations came to a stop to join hers. Lauren didn’t seem too interested in knowing their goals because she immediately launched into her own plans once she had their attention. “I’m going to Canada.”

“Lauren was scouted by a model agency in Victoria this summer,” Angela explained in a hushed voice when she noticed Bella’s confusion. Lauren seemed genuinely excited by the prospect, and she even let Tyler touch her hair when he pressed a kiss to her lips. Bella looked away at their display of affection.

“You’re going places, babe.”

“I’m going to attend uni in Seattle,” Ben said and the rest of the table seemed to have similar plans.

“I’m thinking about getting a degree in communications and maybe entertainment. I really want to have my own talk show one day,” Jessica piped up with a dreamy smile.

“Then you can interview me once I’m famous,” Lauren laughed, and Jessica joined her with a strained smile. Bella sensed a bit of jealousy coming from Jessica and wondered if it was because Laura was the more popular one.

“Totally!”

“What about you, Bella?” Mike asked her and Bella was suddenly the focal point of the entire table.

“Um, I’m going to university and maybe become a teacher.” She shrugged, flushing a little underneath their attention.

“Me too,” Angela said. “I want to be a kindergarten teacher.”

“What do you think the Cullens are going to do?” Jessica asked, and Bella was left behind at the leap in the conversation. She had no idea who the Cullens were, but it seemed like a favorite subject of Jessica’s because there was a gleam in her eyes while the others rolled their eyes. The atmosphere soured even further when Lauren spoke.

“Who cares? They don’t need jobs because they’re all rich and beautiful,” she sneered.

“Speak of the devil,” Mike muttered, and Bella looked up.

A lanky young man and what appeared to be a child at first glance had just entered the mess hall. A closer look told Bella that the girl wasn’t a child but around her age and was just unfortunately short and thin to the extremes. Despite this they looked like a pair of runway models who’d gotten lost on their way to the catwalk and somehow ended up in Forks, Washington instead. Bella couldn’t believe they were still in high school with features like that. Maybe it was the way they dressed, but they appeared years older than the rest of the student population. They walked with the kind of confidence rarely seen in a teenager, and there wasn’t a blemish in sight. They were both deathly pale, and the girl reminded Bella of a pixie; she appeared to float across the room with the graceful steps of a skilled dancer. 

Bella felt a twinge of envy at her coordination. Some people just had it all.

Her companion was just as fetching. He was devastatingly handsome with windswept hair that was the most unusual shade of copper. Heads turned as they walked past but they didn’t seem to care, getting a tray of food and taking a seat in the corner. They slouched elegantly in their chairs and stared in separate directions in stony silence. 

Were these the Cullens? Bella was almost afraid to ask at this point. 

Sound returned to the room, and slowly the students returned to their conversations, shooting the Cullens glances as they put their heads together to whisper and giggle about something; most likely how hot they were.

Jessica sighed before she caught herself and shot Mike a guilty glance. He'd been checking out the pixie Cullen, and Jessica elbowed him in the gut. Mike winced.

“Are they related?” Bella wondered. They didn’t look remotely similar beyond their pale skin and good looks.

“Oh, no,” Jessica answered, eager to dish out their dirty secrets. “Dr. Cullen adopted them, that’s Alice and Edward Cullen, but they have three other siblings who graduated last year. Emmett Cullen, and the Hale twins; Rosalie and Jasper.” Jessica leaned in like she was about to share something scandalous, sending the Cullens an eager look. “They’re all like, together together.”

“Wait, like romantically?” Bella asked.

“It’s really weird,” Jessica nodded and was put out when she saw that Bella didn’t share her disgust.

“Well, you said that they’re not related,” Bella said slowly. Call her a romantic, but she believed that love could be found in the most unexpected places.

“It’s weird,” Jessica asserted before resuming her gossiping. “Alice and Jasper are together, and so are Emmett and Rosalie but Edward is like the only one who’s single,” she said and looked at Edward with a hungry expression. “He’s never shown anyone interest though because apparently, no one is good enough for him.” She blushed and drew back to fold her arms against her chest. Mike glared at Edward Cullen and pulled Jessica to him, which seemed to cheer her up. “Whatever, it’s not like I care.” Her sour expression gave away that she wasn’t as unaffected as she pretended. Bella didn’t know what to say to this. 

She glanced at the Cullens again and met the golden eyes of Alice. Her large doe eyes were alight with some indiscernible emotion, and she whispered something to her brother, not taking her eyes off of Bella. Bella looked down at her plate quickly, embarrassed at having been caught but a quick glance told her that Edward was watching her as well. He didn’t seem to share his sister’s excitement and glared at Bella. Humiliated, she felt like a sideshow freak when they kept staring at her.

“Bella, what class do you have next?” Angela offered Bella an out from the awkward silence.

“I have Spanish,” she said after consulting her schedule. It had been an obvious choice because Bella had taken it in Phoenix, as it is the second most common language spoken in California and Arizona. “What about you?” Bella asked, and Angela reminded her that she had photography with Ben after lunch.

“I’m taking French,” Lauren piped up. She buffed her nails against her blouse without looking up. Jessica appeared to have gotten over her herself and her good mood was restored.

“So am I!” she said brightly. “Mike, you have trig right?” 

“Don’t remind me,” he moaned and looked over at Connor and Tyler. “Do you guys remember anything from last year?”

“Nope.” They didn’t appear to be bothered by the fact and started to pile their trash onto their trays when the bell rang to signal the end of lunch. 

Bella’s map came in handy when she was forced to split up with Angela, who’d been her guide up to this moment. She arrived at the correct classroom in the nick of time. Mrs. Geoff, the Spanish teacher, greeted her enthusiastically and made her stand in front of the class and introduce herself in Spanish. Bella wanted to sink into the floor, but her grasp on Spanish was good enough, and she was able to rattle off some inane facts about herself.

“¡Te felicito! Tu trabajo está muy bien hecho,” the teacher exclaimed and received blank-eyed stares from her students.

“Gracias, señora,” Bella said and quickly went to the only seat available. She nearly swallowed her tongue when she saw Alice Cullen sitting in the chair next to hers. Bella sat down and gave Alice an awkward smile, which she returned trifold, nearly blinding Bella with the beauty of it. Her teeth were straight and a pearly white. Bella had the urge to go and brush her teeth, feeling self-conscious.

“So your name is Bella?” Alice asked, her voice sounding like wind chimes. Bella got lost in her eyes for a moment. Bella had never seen such an unusual eye color; they were a stunning liquid gold. She shook herself out of her daze when she realized Alice was waiting for an answer.

“Sí,” Bella replied jokingly. 

“How wonderful.” Alice’s smile widened impossibly. She seemed oddly thrilled about learning Bella’s name because she laughed with delight at the simple introduction. Even her laugh was beautiful.

Mrs. Geoff spoke in Spanish throughout the class, but Bella had a hard time focusing. Alice was the most beautiful creature she’d ever met, with her pale skin and red. She reminded Bella of a miniature Snow White.

Alice didn’t pay attention to Mrs. Geoff either because she kept asking Bella questions in a low whisper. Bella was a little flattered by it. The rest of the students seemed stunned to see Alice voluntarily talking to another human being outside her own family. Mrs. Geoff didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. 

“What color were you thinking about?” Alice’s question brought Bella back. They’d somehow gotten onto the topic of interior design. Bella had learned that Alice was a fashion enthusiast with a thing for decorations, and had let slip that she was thinking about painting the wall in her room to add a little warmth to it.

“I haven’t gotten that far yet,” Bella admitted.

“Well, I recommend you go to Benjamin Moore in Port Angeles and look at their swatches. Here, let me give you my number in case you need help picking out the right color,” Alice said as the bell rang. She ripped some paper from her notebook and scribbled her mobile number on it and gave it to Bella.

“I don’t have a phone,” Bella said dumbly.

“Oh, that doesn’t matter,” Alice dismissed. “There are plenty of places that sell them.”

“Thanks.” Bella blinked, feeling like she’d been caught in a whirlwind.

“No, problem,” Alice smiled and waved as she headed in the other direction. “I’ll see you around, Bella!”

“See ya,” Bella said weakly. She got caught in the flow of students and walked with them in a slight daze.

Alice was a little overwhelming. It was apparent that she was the type who knew what she wanted and had no issues with getting it. It was an admirable trait, but Bella was a little shell-shocked after taking the brunt of her attention. Yes, Alice was persistent for someone her size but otherwise harmless. Mostly.

Bella soon learned that the same could not be said about her brother.

Biology class started out fine. Mr. Banner, the teacher, handed Bella her book and bade her take a seat without making her introduce herself using the theme of the subject as Mrs. Geoff had done. It would have made an interesting introduction: “Hi, my name is Isabella Swan, but call me Bella. I started out as a zygote inside my mother’s womb and developed into a human through the wonderful process of mitosis and meiosis. I’m also a Virgo.”

The only seat available was next to one Edward Cullen. 

Everything rolled downhill after that.

Bella couldn’t help but stare at him when she walked between the aisles. Edward’s chiseled features belonged in renaissance paintings or on statues of Greek deities, crafted by master sculptors, not in this backwoods high school. Bella had never seen anyone as handsome as him. It was disquieting, and it provoked something indescribable inside her. 

He looked like an angel. 

When she drew near, his nostrils suddenly flared, and his head jerked up. Edward glared at her with monstrous black eyes, his pupil indiscernible from their darkness, and his face contorted like he’d smelled something foul. He went so far as to lean away from Bella as far as his seat allowed him when she sat down next to him.

Her heart gave a painful squeeze of mortification, and she quickly looked down at the tabletop, her hair falling forward to hide her face. She tried to subtly sniff her shirt to see if she stunk and was a little insulted when she smelled nothing out of the ordinary. Sure, Bella didn’t smell like her usual strawberry shampoo, having forgotten to pick it up at the store, but she wasn’t smelly, and her natural musk was too faint for Edward to smell from this distance. Maybe he was sick; he certainly looked like he was in agony. 

She drew a breath and was about to ask him if he needed the nurse when a tantalizing sweet scent wafted towards her, similar to the one his sister bore. Her mind felt fuzzy, and Bella was drawn towards it like a bee to honey, but the look in Edward’s soulless eyes spelled death. It was a spine-chilling experience. 

Bella looked away quickly. She took it back; Edward wasn’t a beautiful angel, not at that moment. He was an archangel, cast out of heaven and turned demonic. He didn’t look human.

Maybe he just has bad gas, she thought to herself, feeling the beginnings of hysteria creeping on her. Twenty minutes dragged past, and Bella kept one eye on the clock and the beast beside her. She hadn’t heard a word of what Mr. Banner was saying, distracted by the murderous intent emanating from Edward. He hadn’t moved, frozen in his odd hunched position. Bella doubted that he was even breathing; his chest wasn’t moving, and his hand was covering his mouth and nose. He certainly wasn’t blinking.

Fear. That was the feeling Edward provoked inside her; a deep primitive fear that urged Bella to either leap out of the window to get away from him or to pick up her pencil and stab it into those unnatural black eyes of his. Bella was not a violent person by nature so the sudden desire to attack a classmate, no matter how creepy, took her by surprise.

What was happening to her? Bella didn’t know, but she knew it had something to do with Edward. She refused to take this anymore; Edward Cullen had no right to affect her like this. Bella stood up and walked to Mr. Banner’s desk for her escape. He looked up at her, and she didn’t have to fake her nervous smile.

“Excuse me, sir. Can I go to the bathroom?” she asked in a low voice.

“Certainly,” Mr. Banner said and handed her a hall pass.

“Thank you,” Bella said and hurried out of the room. One last look at Edward almost sent her running. He was no longer straining back but leaning forwards like a predator readying itself to leap onto its prey. He looked like he wanted to eat her.

Bella settled for a brisk pace down the corridor instead of hightailing out of the school like she wanted to. She was halfway down the hallway when Alice Cullen, of all people, rounded the corner. She was speaking anxiously into her phone, and Bella caught a bit of her end of the conversation when they walked past each other. “-can’t see him, Carlisle. Hi, Bella!” Alice wiggled her fingers at her but didn’t slow down, which suited Bella just fine. She’d had enough of the Cullens today. “No. I’m getting him now.” 

Him? Did she mean Edward? If so, Bella hoped she was taking him to the hospital for a rabies shot. He was clearly feral.

She made it to the bathroom without any hindrance and locked herself in one of the stalls. It offered her a bare minimum of protection, but at least no one could see her. If you can’t see it, it’s not there - it being a black-eyed monster in this case. The irrational thought was exactly what Bella needed to calm down. She stared blankly at the scribbles on the stall door as she wrangled her thundering heart under control. Someone had written in looping cursive about, oddly enough, the militia movements of the Confederate Army in the Civil War. It was signed J. W. at the bottom, and Bella sent a silent thank-you to them for the distraction. 

Five minutes passed faster than she liked and Bella was forced to return to the Biology classroom. She felt like she was heading towards the gallows.

Edward was nowhere in sight, and Bella was faint with relief. She returned her hall pass with shaking hands and returned to her seat. Feeling brave, she vindictively took the chair Edward had occupied. It was silly, but it gave Bella a small measure of comfort; how evil could he be if his presence hadn't left behind a tainted mark.

Bella’s thought hadn’t even finished when she noticed hairline fractures in the wood extending from the place where Edward had gripped the desk. Had he broken the counter? It seemed a bit excessive, but Edward must really not like her. She ran her fingers on the underside of the wood and found finger size groves embedded there. 

Her breath came fast and shallow, and Bella was on the verge of hyperventilating when she caught a flash of copper in her peripheral vision. Her mind had evidently associated the color with Edward, and rightly so, because her head snapped to the side, afraid that he was coming for her again. Alice was frog marching Edward across the car park. It would have been a comical sight, Edward’s lanky height dwarfed Alice’s tiny form, if Bella wasn’t freaking out. Alice led him towards the woods for some reason. Didn’t they have a car?

Then something astonishing happened; Alice pushed her brother forward with unnatural strength and his shape blurred as he took off at a sprint. With the same supernatural speed, Alice followed suit, and they were both gone before Bella had time to blink.

The only thing keeping Bella grounded was the grip she still had on the table, her fingers fitting into the indentations Edward had left behind. 

It was proof that she hadn’t lost her mind.

A/N: I don’t speak Spanish and neither does anyone else in my family so don’t hesitate to correct me if what Mrs. Goff said was incorrect!  

Next chapter: Momma Renée gives life advice, and dinner at Billy’s turns into an eye-opening experience, featuring Bella; the amazing grocery mountaineer.

[distant-rose-archive-blog]

A Once And Future Thing (2/7)

Notes: Sorry this took so long! I struggled a bit. It’s been a trying week, ladies and gents. Anyway, it’s up and the next chapter might not be until Monday unfortunately. Anyway, thanks to @welllpthisishappening, @peglegsjones and @cynmoon for being awesome and looking this over! Cheers! Summary: Beth’s quest for vengeance against her boyfriend’s killer goes a bit haywire when she and her former best friend Jim Hawkins are sent into thirty years into the past. Now, they must figure out how to find a way back to the future without wrecking the first meeting between Beth’s parents, Emma Swan and Killian Jones.  Rating: T+ Chapters: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Epilogue  Word Count: 5,700+

“So those are your parents?” Jim whispered to her quietly as they trekked behind Mulan.

“Yes,” Beth answered tersely, not wanting to discuss the matter more than she had to.

“That’s your mother in the red? The blonde?”

Jim didn’t seem to understand that she wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation nor how dangerous it was. She didn’t want to think of what would happen if they were overheard. If Beth had felt like losing her balance, she would have attempted to kick him.

“Yes,” Beth bit out.

“And that’s Captain Hook? Your father?”

“I think this has already been established, Jim,” Beth replied through gritted teeth.

“And those two actually get married?” Jim continued as if he hadn’t heard her.

“In three and a half years’ time, yes.”

“And they’re true love?”

If her hands hadn’t been bound, she would have thrown them up in defeat. She honestly didn’t understand why he felt the need to reiterate all of this.

“Yes,” Beth sighed in defeat. “Confirmed multiple times over the course of the thirty years, some in grizzly and disgusting ways. Or else I wouldn’t be magical or some shit.”

“And they actually produced four children? Really? Them?”

“Seriously what is the point of this line of questioning? You already know all of this!” Beth hissed.

“Huh.” After all of his questioning, his grunt was a bit anticlimactic.

Beth gave him a sour look.

“Huh? That’s all you can say? Huh?”

“Well, yeah, it’s kinda hard to believe, but I can see it. I mean you look startlingly like your mother but with your father’s coloring and a bit thinner and a bit taller. I mean, the hair difference kinda throws it off and perhaps the cosmetics too, but I’m surprised they aren’t at least somewhat suspicious. The name that you threw up there doesn’t help matters. Emma Swan? Elizabeth Swann? Not your finest hour, love.”

“Fuck you, Jim,” Beth replied, but it sounded more tired than pissed off.

Jim chuckled ruefully and this time they were overheard by Mulan who looked back at them to give them a dirty look.

“What’s so funny?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at them.

“Nothing,” Jim replied smoothly. “Just passing the time with a few light jokes, which my partner here doesn’t seem to appreciate.”

“That’s because you can’t tell a joke to save your life,” Beth replied dryly.

“Let’s keep the jokes to a minimum then,” Mulan replied unimpressed.

A silence fell between them as they kept hiking through the woods. It was a hassle to walk with her hands tied in front of her and Beth was almost embarrassed by the amount of times she nearly fell. She was used to walking across decks during the rockiest of seas and during harsh squalls, yet being pulled by her hands had her veering every which way like a drunk monkey.

She glanced over at Jim to see how he was faring and she was surprised to see that his shoulders were shaking in silent laughter. He looked horribly amused more than anything. Beth stared at him in disbelief.

“What the fuck is so funny?” she hissed quietly, not wanting to catch Mulan’s attention again.

“I’ve imagined meeting your parents a thousand ways, love, but this…I never could have foreseen this.”

Beth blinked.

“You imagined meeting my parents?” she asked in disbelief.

Jim’s amusement immediately faded away and was replaced by an expression that Beth could only describe as extremely hurt.

“We’ve been friends for nearly three years, Kid, I would assume that would warrant at least meeting your parents at some point. I mean, you’ve met mine,” he replied with a small shrug.

“I’ve met Long John Silver,” Beth corrected, eyes cutting to his.

“And he’s the closest thing I have to a parent,” Jim responded automatically. “I certainly don’t remember Leland Hawkins, he died before I left the cradle. My mother died when I was at sea the first time with Silver when I was thirteen, so yeah, you’ve met my only living parent. I figured you would do the same courtesy since Will met them and all. I’ve known you longer than Will did.”

“Will was different though,” Beth said quietly.

“As in you were planning on settling down and having 2.5 kids with Will,” Jim concluded. “I didn’t realize that you had your sights set on being a queen. I never pegged you as one for domesticity.”

Beth stopped in her tracks, completely shocked by his words. They cut through her as sharp as any knife and they hurt more than she ever imagined, especially coming from Jim who had always been her pillar even when she never asked him to be. Her halt in movement was ill conceived however because she was almost immediately dragged forward by Mulan and sent crashing face first into the dirt. Beth coughed as she unwillingly ate grass, glaring up at Jim.

“What is your problem?” Mulan hissed, turning around.

“I tripped on a root,” Beth lied smoothly. “It’s hard to balance when your hands are in front of you.”

Mulan picked her up roughly, but made no move to help her aside from that. She merely gave Beth a cold look before she turned back to keep up pace with Aurora, Emma and Snow White.

“Next time, watch where you’re stepping,” she called over her shoulder.

“Beth…” Jim looked at her in concern.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” Beth replied, not looking at him. “You had no right to say that.”

“That doesn’t make it any less true,” Jim muttered under his breath and Beth was almost certain he hadn’t intended for her to hear that.

Silence fell between them and Beth took this time to study the man and woman ahead them who would someday be her parents. It was strange seeing them so young and so distant from one another. Beth knew logically that the Emma Swan and the Killian Jones of this timeframe were nothing more than strangers, but her heart ached. They were always a united front all of her life; there wasn’t a damn thing that they didn’t tackle together even if they disagreed. And if they weren’t united in action, more often than not, they were always in each other’s space. Beth couldn’t picture her parents without them touching each other in some shape or form; her mother had a habit of running her fingers against the shorthairs on his neck or rubbing her thumbs against his collarbone. Her father, on the other hand, had always favored tangling his wife’s hair between his fingers or playing with her hands. Even when they sat together, they touched; Beth’s mother enjoyed placing her feet in her father’s lap on the couch or hooking her leg around his at the dinner table. This Emma of this era was not nearly so tactile, trying to keep a large distance between her and Hook.

These people weren’t her parents. They would be someday, but right now, they were little more than strangers wearing their faces. The more Beth realized this, the more she wanted to leave.

“I don’t understand this…” she murmured aloud without thinking.

“What don’t you understand?” Jim asked quietly.

“Why would she send us here? To this time period? I don’t get it. It’s not like she’s a fucking Weeping Angel or something,” Beth muttered as a piece of rebellious hair fell in her face. She glared at it and wished nothing more than to be able to tuck it behind her ear but with her hands tied up, she had to resort to blowing at it like a toddler.

Jim was silent for a moment and Beth was almost surprised by it. Normally he liked to have an answer for everything, which was sometimes good and sometimes bad. It was almost fun to pick his brain because it seemed to work on a different wavelength than hers, but at the same time, he could be a horrible know-it-all.

“I have no bleeding idea what a Weeping Angel is, but I think her plan is self-annihilation…or at least that’s my best guess,” Jim said after a few minutes passed.

“What?”

“Self-annihilation. I’m assuming she sent you here because she knows you’re a goddamn bull in a tea shop and she expects you to wipe out your own existence, which is still a high possibility. One wrong move and that epic ass love story between your parents goes up in smoke. You die by your own hand, wipe yourself from existence and Ardeas lives.”

Beth closed her eyes, sighing heavily. Ardeas was the entire reason she was in the mess she was in. He had tried to assault her in order to get her cache of magic beans and she had responded by chaining him to a rock and dropping him at the bottom of the ocean while he screamed that he was immortal and she would regret this decision. Ardeas was not immortal, but she did come to regret the decision when his mother Circe had taken issue with her son’s death and had made it her mission to make Beth miserable. Considering that Will was dead and she was stuck thirty years in the past, it was fair to say that Circe was succeeding.

“It’s always what it comes down to isn’t it? That I killed him,” Beth responded, licking her chapped lips.

“Pretty much,” Jim said bluntly.

“I suppose that you think I was wrong to do that…” It wouldn’t surprise her if Jim had disagreed with the decision, though he had never made his opinion on it plain before.

“Out of all the idiotic decisions you’ve made in your life, it’s the one I judge the least. He got what he deserved. What you did was justice,” Jim murmured softly.

“And what I’m doing now isn’t?” Beth asked in clarification, raising an eyebrow.

“Nope,” Jim responded simply.

“Nope? That’s all you’re going to say? Just nope? No grand lecture on how you’re right and I’m wrong?” Beth questioned.

“It’s not my job to teach you ethics, Elizabeth,” Jim said impatiently. There was a lot of frustration in his tone and it made Beth bristle. He made her feel like a naughty school child sometimes.

“No, it’s not,” she agreed with some of her own frustration. “You’re not my fucking father.”

Jim made a strangled noise.

“The day that sentence ever comes true in any proverbial or literal form, I would kill myself.”

Beth tried to not to be offended by that.

“Better to kill yourself than to have a daughter like me?”

Jim blinked rapidly and shook his head in disbelief.

“Something like that.”

Another silence fell between them, this one more uncomfortable than the last. Every part of Beth wanted to scream, yell and cry a bit, but she could not. Such an outburst would do nothing for her. She needed to stay calm. She needed to be like Jim; calm, cool, collected and planning each move like she was playing mental chess. Beth hated chess. She had no patience for it. Maybe that was the problem.

“You said that we are at the beanstalk, what did you mean by that?” Jim said quietly, breaking the silence once more.

“Like I said this is my parents’ first meeting,” Beth replied tersely. “Their first adventure was them climbing the beanstalk to get a golden compass.”

“Beth, I need to know more than that. We need to know more than that. We need to keep the original events as intact as possible if we’re going to survive this. You know that, right?”

Beth made a low noise in the back of her throat.

“Of course, I know that. I’m not a fucking moron, so stop treating me like one,” she snapped.

“I know you’re not a moron. Stop getting so offended all the time,” Jim replied tiredly. “In fact, you’re clever as hell when you want to be, but you’re impulsive and this is emotional for you. You’re thinking with your heart and not with your head. We need your head right now. So, what do you know about the beanstalk?”

“All I know is that Mom and Grandma Snow were trying to go back to Storybrooke because they landed here by accident, much like I did three years ago. Anyway, Dad met Mom, Mom didn’t trust Dad but he knew how to get to them back home with a golden compass at the top of a bean stalk. So, despite their differences, they climbed the beanstalk together and got the compass then Mom and Grandma Snow were able to go home. Dad ended up in Storybrooke somehow, but not with them. I don’t really remember. It was their go-to story whenever I had to do a school project with someone I didn’t like.”

“That’s…not entirely helpful,” Jim sighed.

“Well, that’s all I got for you. Sorry,” Beth muttered under her breath.

“I know, I know, it’s just…” Jim let out a small huff.

Beth knew just by the look on his face that if his hands hadn’t been tied in front of him that they would be running through his sandy brown hair. He had a tendency to do that when he was anxious and right now, Jim Hawkins was more than a little anxious.

“It’s just we’re screwed,” Beth finished for him with a sigh of her own.

“You said it, not me,” Jim replied quickly.

“You didn’t have to say it, you were practically telegraphing it. I know your faces, J. I know that you’re privately thinking we’re fucked whenever you scrunch your eyebrows together like that,” Beth sighed.

“Scrunch my eyebrows together?” Jim asked, looking bewildered. “I didn’t realize I did that.”

“Well, you do,” Beth replied. “Like this.”

She furrowed her brows together purposely and set her lips into a deep frown, copying his expression. Jim’s eyebrows rose as he studied her and his mouth opened, making him look like a gaping fish.

“I do not look like that,” he said with a shake of his head.

“You totally do,” Beth responded, trying to keep from snickering.

“If you two don’t shut up soon, we’re going to separate you,” Mulan called from in front of them, rearing back to glare at them.

“I feel like I’m in grade school again,” Beth muttered under her breath.

“They bound you and dragged you in grade school?” Jim asked in disbelief.

“No, but me and my friend Sylvie were constantly being yelled at to shut up,” Beth replied with a small chuckle.

“Ah. That I can believe,” Jim grinned. “You are a bit on the loquacious side, love.”

“Are you calling me a Chatty Kathy, Hawkins?” Beth asked in amusement.

“A chatty what?” He looked confused.

“That’s it!” Mulan fumed, stopping and turning around. She jerked the rope, causing both Beth and Jim to stumble a bit. “Emma! Snow! Stop, we’re doing a prisoner switch because these two can’t stop plotting together.”

“We weren’t plotting,” Beth responded with a roll of her eyes. “Believe me, neither of us can plot to save our lives. Our battle plans last like two seconds. We’re more the make-it-up-as-we-go-along type.”

“I honestly don’t care, you’re just annoying me,” Mulan responded with her own eye roll. “You’re definitely going up front. You’ve got a mouth on you and I don’t appreciate it.”

“Really?” Beth smirked. “Most people do.”

Jim groaned beside her.

“You really couldn’t keep that one to yourself, could you?” he asked with a shake of his head.

“You know me too well,” Beth replied cheekily.

“I’m so not dealing with this anymore,” Mulan growls before shoving her rope at Emma. “You deal with her.”

“You’re seriously making me deal with Captain Flirt and Little Miss Flirt as a collective?” Emma groaned. “They’re just going to be flirting the entire time and it’s going to be gross.”

“Trust me, you don’t have to worry about that with him,” Beth muttered under her breath.

“You wound me, Black Swan,” Hook grinned, leering at her.

“Black Swan? Where the fuck did you get Black Swan?” Beth asked with a raise of her eyebrows.

“Well, you’re a Swan and she’s a Swan,” Hook said, tilting his head towards Emma. “She’s the Gold Swan because of her gorgeous blonde locks and you’re the Black Swan because of your own beautiful black hair. Being between the two of you lovelies…well, that’s just every man’s fantasy.”

Beth pulled a face and looked to Jim for support, but found her companion was biting his lip to keep from busting a gut. She glared at him. Nothing about this situation was funny. It was gross; so gross that not even Game of Thrones would touch it. Or maybe they would. The jury was still out on that one.

“If you let me out of this bind, I will beat him for you,” Beth remarked to Emma with pursed lips.

“Tempting, but no,” Emma remarked. “We need him. You, on the other hand, are expendable so I would be on my best behavior.”

Beth sighed. She had the strong urge to scream again.

“Don’t worry, love, I’ll wear you down, both you and the other gorgeous Swan,” Hook smirked.

“Keep dreaming,” Beth bit with a roll of her eyes.

“Now that’s something you don’t have worry about,” Hook winked.

Beth blanched, but said nothing. She didn’t want to add any more fuel to the fire. She couldn’t help but wonder how her father would react to see his younger self acting so aggressively flirtatious with his own daughter; knowing him, he would probably be mortified and run himself through with his sword.

They moved forward again, this time with Beth walking next to Hook instead of Jim. She tried not to look at him, but she couldn’t help herself. It was so strange to see him look so young. Her father had always been a handsome man, but as long as Beth could remember her father had silver hair, noticeable laugh lines and crow’s feet. Her father was a man that smiled with both his lips and his eyes and was full of warmth.

This man smirked but his eyes had a hardness to them that Beth had never experienced before. It made her feel cold. On top of that, she felt more like she was staring at shorter and skinnier version of her brother than her father. She always knew that Harrison had an eerie resemblance to him, but she never really saw it until now. Though Harrison was not one for leather nor did he swagger, not like Hook. It was just a strange experience.

“You said you were a pirate,” Hook said after a moment.

“I am,” Beth confirmed, trying to keep her answers short.

He snorted in disbelief. Beth nearly gaped at the sound.

“You don’t believe me?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

Hook smirked at him, his eyes slowly taking in her form. It made her skin crawl. No father should look at their daughter like that. Ever.

“Well, you look the part, but there’s more to it than that,” Hook replied, licking his lips. “I think you believe you’re a pirate, but you strike me as more as some rich noble’s spoiled daughter who is rebelling against Daddy in hopes he’ll pay attention to you.”

Beth’s nostrils flared.

“Is that what you think?” she asked tightly.

“You’re too well-bred and too demanding to be anything else, love,” he smirked.

“You think I’m well-bred? My mother would heartily disagree with you,” Beth replied tersely. “And too demanding? You wouldn’t say that if I was a man.”

“If you were a man, I would say you’re an ass,” Hook replied. “Take it as a compliment, love. I like demanding women. They know what they want and they don’t keep you guessing.”

“If my hands weren’t bound, I would run you through,” Beth responded. “You know nothing.”

“No,” he agreed. “Not yet, but I’ll learn. You wear your emotions on your sleeve. Makes you a bit of an open book.”

Beth nearly stopped at his words.

“Fuck you,” she spat.

“I’m delighted with the offer, love, but a man likes to be wooed,” Hook responded easily.

She made a noise of frustration. Beth honestly couldn’t believe how much of an asshole he was. She couldn’t believe this infuriating man would someday be her father; the man who was patient and taught her how to fight, tucked her in at night with a gentle kiss and sometimes even braided her hair. She saw nothing of that man in this one. It made her heart sink more into her chest.

“Given up already, love?” Hook taunted. “That doesn’t seem like you.”

“You don’t know me,” Beth replied snappishly.

“I’m starting to. Like I said, open book,” Hook replied easily. “Shall I prove it?”

“Something tells me that you’re going to anyway,” she replied dryly.

“Quite right,” he grinned. “Like I said, you’re wealthy. Lived well. Well-bred and used to people following your orders. You like being in charge, but you also crave danger. Hence the interest in piracy and your current…risky business. Though you’ve got some steel to you. You’re not a fragile flower or you would be complaining about the rope burns by now.”

Beth couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.

“What’s so funny?” Hook asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Steel,” she mused aloud without much thinking. “Dad says that too. He says that I was born with stars in my eyes, steel in my bones and the sea in my veins.”

“I’m guessing dear sweet Daddy is a merchant sailor?”

Beth couldn’t help it; she laughed heartily at that, amusement dancing in her eyes. Merchant sailor? Beth couldn’t imagine the man in front of her nor her father being happy with that descriptor.

“No. Not at all,” Beth snickered. “My old man was a pirate. My mother could be considered noble though, I guess. But my old man would be insulted to be called that.”

Her own mother would have been insulted by the descriptor as well, but regardless of how she felt about, Emma Swan was technically a noble considering she was born a princess.

“Hence the desire for piracy, then. I was right, a Daddy’s Girl. A pirate absconding himself a noble lady. He must be the quite the legend,” Hook mused.

“He is in his own mind,” Beth snorted.

“Your father suffers from delusions of grandeur?”

“Some would say so…” she snickered, licking her own chapped lips as she smirked.

“As entertaining as this conversation has been,” Emma said dryly, turning back to look at him. “I need Hook.”

“I knew you would warm up to me, love,” Hook smirked, arching a rakish eyebrow. “How do you want me?”

Beth was used to her father flirting with her mother. Normally she gave as good as she got and her younger brother Neddy would pretend to gag, causing them all to laugh. However, this Emma Swan was unmoved and unimpressed. She didn’t smile, just huffed in impatience.

“Cut the crap,” Emma said shortly. “Are we going in the right direction or not? How far are we from the compass?”

“We’re going in the right direction, so don’t you worry, love,” Hook replied easily. “We are just a few hours walk.”

“A few hours walk,” Emma repeats. “How much are we talking?”

“Judging by our pace, another five or six hours, give or take,” he said with a small frown.

“Five or six hours? How the hell do you know where we’re going then!” Emma demanded, looking more and more irritated.

“Don’t insult me, Swan,” Hook replied with a scoff. “I’m a seafaring man. I know my sense of direction. The compass is north. And north is that way!”

Hook pointed in the direction in front of them with his bound hands.

“And how do you know that?” Emma hissed. “It’s not like you have a GPS.”

“GPS?” Hook looked bewildered.

“He knows because every moron knows that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west,” Beth replied with a roll of her eyes. She gestured towards the sky with her head. “It’s late and the sun is in that direction. That’s west. He’s right, we’re going north.”

“I didn’t ask you,” Emma snapped.

“No, but that’s the answer nonetheless,” Beth replied with a snort.

“We should make camp here for the night…” Snow White said, breaking the tension between the three of them. “Sun is setting in maybe an hour or so. Walking in the dark is a bad idea. Best to continue this tomorrow.”

“Here? Really?” Emma asked, raising her eyebrow at her mother.

“Why not?” Snow White replied with a shrug. “I mean, it’s not the best place to camp but it’s also not the worst.”

Emma let out a heavy sigh before handing the ropes off to Snow White and pulling out her sword. She paused only to give Hook and Beth a dirty look.

“Watch them, I’ll make sure the area is secure and we haven’t been followed,” Emma commanded, scanning their surroundings and pressing her sword through the bushes.

“You think Cora’s following us?” Snow White questioned.

“Possibly. Probably not, but you never know, maybe Will Turner is,” Emma replied almost jokingly.

Beth stiffened at her words; her heart aching in her chest. She was a fucking idiot. She should have chosen a different name. She hadn’t been thinking about the Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner romance when she had made the Keira Knightly character her chosen alias. It had been in oversight of epic proportions.  

Emma immediately noticed her reaction and her joking demeanor grew more serious.

“So there’s a Will Turner then.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

At one point in Beth’s life, she had an excellent poker face. However, it appeared that was no longer the case. Another unwelcome change in her life since Will’s passing.

“Will Turner?” Snow White questioned, brows furrowed.

“Will Turner,” Emma repeated, and it felt like another knife to Beth’s gut. “The epic trio slash love triangle of Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner in the movies. I wasn’t certain there was one, but her face says it all.”

Beth closed her eyes. She didn’t them open to know that Emma was gesturing to her. She swallowed sharply. If her skin felt like it had been crawling when Hook had looked at her, it now felt like it was running off her bones.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Emma asked, nudging Beth’s shoulder with her blade.

“He’s not here,” Beth said roughly.

“I find that hard to believe,” Emma snorted. “If your relationship is anything like the movies, he wouldn’t let you out of his sight.”

“That was true once upon a time,” Beth replied, biting her lip and opening her eyes. She stared her would-be mother in the eye. “But that’s no longer possible.”

“Why?” Emma asked, her voice demanding.

“Because he’s dead,” Beth snapped. Despite trying to keep her composure, all the anger and all the pain came out.

The eye contact between them was long and uncomfortable especially when Beth wanted nothing more than to scream. Whatever Emma saw in her, Beth didn’t know, but she gave her a quiet stiff nod. She put her sword back in its sheath.

Out of the corner of her eye, Beth could see Hook looking at her strangely. She straightened her back, making a point not to look at him or anyone. She couldn’t handle it right now. She felt like a livewire, vulnerable and raw.

“If we’re going to stay here tonight, we’re going to need to secure them,” Emma said, gesturing to Hook, Beth and Jim. “Tie them to the tree or something.”

“I’ll take care of them,” Mulan said, jerking Jim forward with his rope. “I’ll secure him. Then the girl and then Hook, if Snow will assist.”

“I have no problem with that,” Snow White replied, looking at Beth and Hook out of the corner of her eye distastefully.

Beth was used to her grandmother looking at her in disappointment or exasperation. They never really clicked. Snow’s idea of bonding was shopping for frilly dresses, having heartfelt conversations and talking about how to style Beth’s hair. Beth preferred talking about sword techniques, trying to climb up trees one-handed and out drinking her “cousins.” They loved each other, they just weren’t close. In all of Beth’s years, her grandmother had never looked at her like she was something distasteful like she was right now. It made her feel even more hollow.

“What can I do?” Aurora asked.

“Sit and be quiet,” Emma replied with little patience.

“But I want to help!” Aurora insisted and the whiny tone in her voice gritted on Beth’s nerves.

“Then collect firewood,” Snow White said in a cool and patient tone.

“Just collect firewood?” Aurora asked, slightly offended with being given such a menial task.

“Aurora, just do it,” Emma snapped.

“Don’t talk to her like that!” Mulan hissed at Emma, eyes flashing.

“We don’t have time to coddle her. We need to get settled so we get moving quicker. I want that compass and to get back to my son. Nothing else. I’m not here to play nice,” Emma replied, narrowing her eyes at Mulan.

“How much do you want to bet that we could take the lot of them, love?” Hook’s voice murmured in Beth’s ear.

Beth nearly jumped out of her skin. She didn’t realize he was that close to her. It was unnerving that he had managed to get this far into her personal space without her notice. For the time during this entire insane experience, she felt genuinely wary of him.

“It’s three trained swords against one trained sword, a bowman and two unskilled women is good odds,” she muttered back. “But I’m not staging a break away. That’s not my game here.”

“We don’t need the navy man, love,” Hook whispered. “Just you and me. The princess is more of a burden than help to them. The brunette seems feisty but soft. The other Swan, while gorgeous, isn’t familiar with a sword as you cleverly pointed out earlier. The warrior is the tricky one, but we could manage.”

“In a hypothetical situation, sure,” she responded. “I’m not leaving him. I can’t leave him. He wouldn’t leave me. Not now. Not ever. Even though he should. And I’m not doing this. So, forget it.”

“What if I told you I could bring you to a treasure unlike your wildest dreams? A true giant’s horde, we’re talking. I think we could make quite the team, love. I think you’d find me a better and more exciting companion that big, tall and boring back there. What do you say?” he replied, stepping closer into her space.

Beth took a step back, glaring at him.

“I would say that you have no idea just how big my wildest dreams are,” she said firmly. “And no. It’s not happening, Hook. Besides, I thought you didn’t think I was a real pirate. What did you call me? A rich noble’s daughter rebelling against her father in hopes he would look at her?”

“I misjudged you,” Hook admitted.

“You could be misjudging me now,” she responded, turning away to watch Mulan tie up Jim. He wasn’t focused on his captor at all, but watching Beth and Hook warily.

“No…I don’t think so. Just answer me this…How did he die? Your Will?”

Beth sucked on her teeth at the question. If her hands hadn’t been tied, she would have punched him.

“Swann? How did he die?” Hook asked again, more insisted.

Beth let in a heavy breath, debating in her head whether or not she should answer him. His bound hands nudged at her side. He wouldn’t let himself be ignored. She hated him for it, but it was typical of her father. He refused to let her be if he knew she was upset. This man wasn’t her father though, not yet.

“He was killed. A spell meant for me killed him,” she monotonously.

“His killer?”

“She breathes…for now,” she whispered.

“You don’t want treasure. You want revenge,” Hook said softly, looking at her with sudden understanding. She wanted to hit him even more for it.

“I want justice,” she said firmly.

“Sometimes they’re the same thing, love.”

Beth didn’t get a chance to respond as Mulan somehow materialized at her side and jerked her towards a tree adjacent from where Jim was situated. She winced slightly as she was pushed roughly against the tree.

“You think you would be a bit more thoughtful considering that we willingly surrendered,” Beth muttered under her breath.

“Maybe, but I don’t like you,” Mulan responded easily.

Beth rolled her eyes, but said nothing. She watched as Aurora carelessly tossed sticks into the middle of the camp. She nearly snorted. It reminded her of the time they went camping and Neddy pouted constantly at being handed small tasks because he wasn’t as “big” as the rest of them. The thought of Neddy made her heart yearn for home, her real home. She wanted her mother to run her fingers through her hair and unknot the tangles. She wanted her father to cuddle her and whisper a story that she had heard a million times before. She wanted Harrison playing his guitar and singing to her something off a Jimi Hendrix album and Wes to crack a snarky joke while Neddy placed a whoopee cushion under someone’s chair.

Most of all she wanted Will and his radiant smile; the one that took up his entire face and made the corners of his eyes crinkle. She wanted to hear the laugh of pure joy he made that one time after they swam in the ocean naked during a warm afternoon on his family’s private beach. She wanted his kisses that were like a rip tide; taking you by surprise and pulling you in before you even had the chance to comprehend how it happened. But Will was gone and he wasn’t coming back.

And if she didn’t think fast, she wouldn’t get back to her family. Her real family. Not these people who were, but weren’t because those events hadn’t happened to them yet.

“Beth…” Jim called softly. “Are you okay?”

And for the first time in six months, Beth answered that question honestly. Whether it was because it was Jim, who had always been her rock and seen her at her lowest, asked or if she answered without truly thinking about it for once, she didn’t know. However, there something both liberating and almost physically painful about it.

“No. I’m not.”

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

15 internet moments in 2018 that made us scream 'NOPE'

*unintelligible screaming* 

We're only halfway through 2018, but it already appears to be the year of loudly yelling at the internet every 20 minutes or so.

From insensitive YouTube videos and mortifying viral challenges, to disturbing makeup trends and abhorrent tweets, the online world has truly tested our patience these past six months.

SEE ALSO: Elizabeth Warren got a new puppy because everything else is bad

Here are 15 of the biggest NOPE moments the internet had to offer this year. They'll be tough to re-live for sure, but let them inspire us all to be better online contributors in the future.

1. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Logan Paul saga

YouTuber Logan Paul kicked off 2018 in one of the worst ways imaginable. On New Year's Eve, Paul shared a video with his 15 million subscribers that contained footage of an apparent victim of suicide he found in Japan's Aokigahara forest.

After the video received a serious amount of backlash, Paul apologized, claiming he "intended to raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention," but in the weeks that followed the situation only grew worse.

Dear Internet, pic.twitter.com/42OCDBhiWg

— Logan Paul (@LoganPaul) January 2, 2018

A supercut of Paul's trip to Japan, which showed him severely disrespecting Japanese culture, went viral. He was dragged for an insensitive comment he left on Cardi B's Instagram, and admitted he wasn't making content with his younger fan base in mind. 

In wake of the vlog backlash, Paul did make an effort to advocate for suicide prevention by pledging to donate a total of $1 million to various suicide prevention organizations, but that didn't erase all the pain and disgust his careless video caused viewers. 

2. The painfully embarrassing Tide Pod Challenge

The year has already birthed a number of viral challenges, but none have proven to be as foolish and potentially deadly as the Tide Pod Challenge.

After teens started recording and sharing videos of themselves frying and "eating" poisonous soap-filled pouches known as Tide Pods, YouTube had to step in and take action. Tide Pods videos were pulled from the site, but the damage was done. 

Tide Pod inspired pizza, doughnuts, sushi, and shots were created, and things wound up getting so out of hand that stores had to LOCK UP THE DELICIOUS LOOKING DETERGENT. UGH! Humans sometimes, honestly! 

y’all really joked around so much that tide put their tide pods in plastic boxes...smh pic.twitter.com/Z44efALcX5

— ㅤnavid (@NavidHasan_) January 13, 2018

3. Meals cooked in a MOUTH

The first half of 2018 was also when we learned about this chef who cooks meals using only her freaking mouth. She preps turkey stuffing, steak tartare, pancakes, and even a smoothie using her teeth and saliva, then uploads the videos to YouTube. We don't care if it's "performance art," it's A LOT to comprehend, so can we get a NOPE over here? 

4. When someone tried to make teeth nails a thing

Some bizarre beauty trends have popped up in 2018, but teeth nails took things way too far.

Instagram user @nail_sunny cursed feeds everywhere by sharing a video of regular old nails being transformed to resemble human teeth. The cringeworthy footage was set to Drake's "God's Plan," and IDK about you but I prefer the original music video a whole lot more.

A post shared by Nail Sunny Loves FIFA 2018 (@nail_sunny) on May 8, 2018 at 9:07am PDT

5. Kanye West's tumultuous Twitter return

In 2018, Kanye West decided it was time to tweet again and fans had NO idea what they were in for.

Since April 13, 2018, when Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey welcomed the rapper back to the platform, Kanye has taken his 28 million followers on a dramatic roller coaster filled with tattoo designs, fashion photo shoots, the deepest of musings, album release dates, controversial comments on slavery, and a whole lot of love for Donald Trump.

pic.twitter.com/YyUw0mCKov

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) April 25, 2018

Watching Kanye's feed over the past few months has truly been exhausting, even for his IRL friends.

6. Pelican takeover

A real-life horror film was shot at the 2018 Pepperdine University graduation when very large pelicans swarmed the ceremony and wreaked havoc on attendees.

Things got so intense that security had to step in, and, after all their intruding, the birds didn't even get diplomas.

7. Elon Musk hating on journalists

Grimes' boyfriend gave President Trump a rest and decided to share his own thoughts about the media via Twitter. Musk announced he plans to create "a media credibility rating site" that will allow the public to review the truth of individual articles, journalists, editors, and publications.

Going to create a site where the public can rate the core truth of any article & track the credibility score over time of each journalist, editor & publication. Thinking of calling it Pravda …

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 23, 2018

Despite the fact that his girlfriend's mom is a journalist, Musk carried on with his anti-media rant, explaining his belief that the journalist's lack of credibility is the reason Trump was elected in the first place. 🙃

8. The Nukebook

Japanese graphic designer Shusaku Takaoka shared a horrifying recreation of the iconic image from The Notebook that will probably ruin your life.

Normally, the photo from the romantic film, based off a Nicholas Sparks novel, shows stars Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams embracing in the rain. But Takaoka replaced the actors with Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un to give the internet the following painful sight.

A post shared by shusaku takaoka (@shusaku1977) on Jun 12, 2018 at 6:50pm PDT

2018, please be nicer to us!

9. BBC imagining the "perfect body"

In a terrifying video shared by BBC, anatomist Alice Roberts examined an advanced model of the perfect human body. It had enlarged eyes and ears, a chimp's lower back, emu legs, a breast-less chest, the heart of a dog, and lungs of a swan. And oh yeah, did we forget to mention A BABY POPPING OUT OF A MARSUPIAL POUCH? NOPE!

10. The IHOb hype

The International House of Pancakes (aka IHOP) really tested everyone's patience in 2018. The chain  restaurant, best known for its breakfast food, decided to unleash a long, drawn out, and very secretive marketing campaign in which it would re-brand from IHOP to IHOb.

Mashable figured out the "b" stood for burgers before the big announcement, but IHOP made everyone wait an entire week before officially revealing the burger news. So extra.

For 60 pancakin’ years, we’ve been IHOP. Now, we’re flippin’ our name to IHOb. Find out what it could b on 6.11.18. #IHOb pic.twitter.com/evSxKV3QmT

— IHOb (@IHOb) June 4, 2018

11. Millie Bobby Brown leaving Twitter

Twitter hit an especially low point when Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown left the platform in June after becoming the subject of a hateful meme.  

It all started when the hashtag #TakeDownMillieBobbyBrown — which was started in 2017 by the now suspended Twitter user @KelsFiona — resurfaced online. In response, people began sharing false stories, negative memes, and fake Snapchat photos claiming that Millie is homophobic. 

i think it’s time i share my #TakeDownMillieBobbyBrown story... i was at my local starbucks, and milky boobie brown comes in so i asked her for a picture. then she PEES in my drink! then she called me a “fat chicken dyke” and put a straw in my nose! i’ve never been so ashamed.

— Laurane :) (@Laurie________) June 5, 2018

After the 14-year-old anti-bullying advocate — yes, she has an entire side Twitter account dedicated to spreading love and kindness — endured a substantial amount of trolling she deactivated her account. How are those anti-harassment plans coming, @Jack?

12. BBQ Becky, Permit Patty, and Pool Patrol Paula

Meme's don't always stem from lighthearted events, and 2018 has proved that with BBQ Becky, Permit Patty, and Pool Patrol Paula. 

In May, an Oakland woman named Jennifer Schulte called the police on two black men who she believed were grilling in a park without a permit. After a video, which captured the woman's interaction with the men and phone call to the police went viral, Twitter users slammed her for racial profiling and she came to be known by meme-makers as "BBQ Becky." 

A month later, Alison Ettel called the police on an 8-year-old girl for selling water on a sidewalk. Ettel was also transformed into a meme, dubbed "Permit Patty," and her harsh actions against a child of color were condemned by many.

We gotta new meme tho y'all #PermitPatty pic.twitter.com/DW3TFjRzn4

— Racist Raj 🌹 (@_ethiopiangold) June 23, 2018

Less than a week later, a third white woman — 38-year-old Stephanie Sebby-Strempel (now known to the internet as "Pool Patrol Paula") — was charged with assaulting a 15-year-old black boy at a public pool after reportedly yelling racial slurs. A video showing part of the confrontation was posted to Facebook, and the #PoolPatrolPaula hashtag was started to raise awareness of her unacceptable behavior.

In light of this utterly disappointing trend, Mashable created a list of 5 things white people can do before calling the cops on a black person. Please read it.

13. Roseanne's racist remarks

In June, actress and comedian Roseanne Barr tweeted a racist remark about President Obama's former black female advisor, Valerie Jarrett.

Barr's tweet received a serious amount of backlash. In response, the actress deleted the tweet, claimed she was just joking, and then tried to blame Ambien for her actions. Ultimately, the tweet led to her show being cancelled, her agent dropping her, and a her taking a short leave of absence from the social media platform.

14. Marco Rubio complaining about the fucking "F-word"

After a shooting at the Capital Gazette left five dead, staff writer Selene San Felice appeared on CNN where she said the following: "I'm going to need more than a couple days of news coverage and some thoughts and prayers, because it's our whole lives have been shattered. And so thanks for your prayers, but I couldn't give a fuck about them if there's nothing else."

Instead of tweeting support for the press, Marco Rubio decided to rage tweet about people using the f-word a little too freely.

Sign of our times... the F word is now routinely used in news stories, tweets etc It’s not even F*** anymore. Who made that decision???

— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) June 29, 2018

"Sign of our times... the F word is now routinely used in news stories, tweets etc It’s not even F*** anymore.  Who made that decision???" Rubio tweeted on June 29.

Always nice to see a man who has his fucking priorities straight. Isn't it?

15. A whole lot of Donald Trump

In the first half of 2018 Donald Trump has had a LOT of not so great moments online.

Early in the year "girther" memes examining Trump's physique spread after the White House announced he's 6 feet, three inches tall, and weighs 239 pounds. There was that time he tried to convince everyone he's a "genius," tweeted incorrect facts, attempted to host the failed Fake News Awards, insulted many — including but certainly not limited to Jay-Z, Alec Baldwin, and Maxine Waters.

Crazy Maxine Waters, said by some to be one of the most corrupt people in politics, is rapidly becoming, together with Nancy Pelosi, the FACE of the Democrat Party. Her ranting and raving, even referring to herself as a wounded animal, will make people flee the Democrats!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 3, 2018

Not to mention the mess of typos and deleted tweets the president's Twitter followers have had to endure.

So yeah, as you can see the internet is occasionally a digital portal to hell. But the online world hasn't been all bad this year. Check out 16 of the best internet moments in 2018 to restore your faith in humanity.

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