#Any differences from real life are completely intentional and due to this being a different universe

[another-whump-sideblog]

Masterlist

Significant neurological damage, likely due to repeated concussions, predominately impacting balance and grip strength

Deficiencies in vitamin A, vitamin B1, vitamin B2, vitamin B3, vitamin B5, vitamin B6, vitamin B12, Vitamin D, calcium, chloride, iron, and potassium

Severe deficiencies in iron and vitamin D

Psychological symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Further testing recommended.

Ema hates this.

She was supposed to feel better once she got away. That was supposed to fix it. Getting away was so so hard, and it's not even over?

Ema hates this.

"It's not so bad." Tom says. "It could be worse."

That's not very helpful. "Neurological damage doesn't go away. I'm going to have this for the rest of my life."

"Well... yeah, but now we know. I should've noticed earlier, it was obvious. I can't believe I didn't notice..."

Tom sounds annoyed. Ema tucks her knees under her chin.

"It'll get better. I think it would help to do some physical therapy. And psychological therapy. And the vitamin and mineral deficiencies, that's easy! I mean it sucks that we didn't know before, but we know now. Oh, we should also take you to a dentist. What's wrong?"

Ema is ineffectively trying to blink back tears. "I thought I was going to be okay. I thought it was over." "But this is good! These things were wrong before, but now that we know about them we can fix them or make them better. Wouldn't it be worse if all those symptoms of deficiencies and damage and stuff were just how things were going to be for the rest of your life?"

Ema hates this. "I don't- I can't-" She takes a shuddering breath, afraid she'll start crying if she tries to talk more.

"It's okay. You're okay. I really think you should see a therapist though. I... don't know what to say to help you feel better."

Ema grips her hair tightly. She hates this, she hates this so much. "I don't want to go to therapy! I don't want to talk about it! I want it to be over!"

"I- I don't know- Ema, it's okay."

Ema is sobbing in earnest and Tom is getting annoyed with her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"You didn't do anything wrong. I just- I'm not good at this!"

He's mad at her he's mad at her-

"I- I think I'm making this worse, so I'm going to- to go. And then when you're feeling better we can talk about how I can, like, help you the next time you feel this way, okay?"

Tom waits for her to answer, but leaves when she doesn't, and Ema doesn't stop him. He's just in the other room, but it does help Ema feel better, which makes her feel a bit guilty. It's just easier when she can focus on calming herself down instead of trying to calm Tom down.

She feels so pathetic. She's been crying more since she escaped than she ever did in captivity.

Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap.

She's safe. She's okay. And Tom is right, now she knows some ways to feel better. She shouldn't feel this way.

When Ema's crying has slowed to only an occasional sniffle, Tom comes back.

"Are you okay? Are you- did that help? It seems like it helped, for me to leave, but I felt really bad for just... leaving you, while you were upset."

"It helped. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Tom doesn't sound annoyed. Just... sad.

"I... don't think there's anything you can do, if that happens again. I don't know why I started crying. Everything you said was right."

"Well, someone can be right and still be a dick."

"You weren't being a dick."

Tom is quiet for a moment. "You started crying when I brought up therapy. Should I... not bring that up?"

"No, you can bring it up. I don't know why it freaked me out."

"You said you don't want to talk about what happened. Does the idea of therapy make you feel stressed? You don't have to talk about the past at all with a therapist if you don't want to. I mean, you probably will eventually, but not until you feel comfortable with it. A good therapist will respect your wishes." Tap tap tap. "I don't know. I guess. I just want it to be over. I want to never think about it again."

"I... don't think that's possible."

Ema buries her face in her hands and sobs.

"Would it help if I touched you? Like, gave you a hug or something. Or would you rather not be touched?"

"Please don't touch me."

"Okay. So I know some things that don't help now, at least. Um... so, do you want to try therapy? Helping people find therapists is something I'm good at. You wouldn't have to talk about anything you didn't want to. And hey, I'm not a therapist, maybe I'm wrong that you'll have to think about it. Maybe a therapist can teach you how to not think about it. I don't know."

"I think... I've been emotional because of the deficiencies. I want to try getting more of those vitamins and stuff in, and maybe try physical therapy, and then see how I feel."

"I think you're going to need therapy no matter what. You've been through a lot."

Ema starts to tear up again.

"But... it can wait. I don't like to put these things off, but... this isn't about me. I don't know a lot about therapy, but I know that it doesn't work very well if you feel forced into it."

"...Thank you."

"Do you want help making a meal plan? To get the vitamins you need in? And I can look into what supplements you should be taking, that stuff's all unregulated so I don't think you just grab the first thing that says vitamin supplement, y'know?"

That... sounds nice. Not having to do it herself sounds nice. "I would like that."

[versaphile]

Considering tristamp Vash’s feelings about his plantness compared to trimax Vash. I don’t think trimax Vash had any real engagement with his powers prior to Knives forcing them out of him in July. And then once that happened, trimax Vash is just incredibly upset by any manifestation of his powers until the whole escape from the Ark where he finally gains control over them and uses them defensively with intent. Which makes sense. Aside from the initial traumas of Tesla and The Big Fall, it seems like Vash just kinda hung out for however many decades. First with Knives, then with humans, and like, he actually allowed himself to become part of the fabric of communities (Ship 3, July). Aside from being functionally immortal and able to commune somewhat with dependent plants, he was basically just a human. His interaction with plants is limited, and what we do see is generally centered on helping humans.

But Tristamp Vash is such a different kettle of fish. First there’s the stronger contrast between him and Knives, with Knives being far more plant-like than Vash and that being a source of conflict between them. And then right after TBF he learns he does have plant abilities. He can help/heal dependent plants, which is enormously powerful and earns him a place in the human community. And then the more dramatic discovery of his drain arm, which of course he promptly loses. So like, that’s a LOT to process for him. He had this part of himself he had no idea about and it was super dangerous but it’s already gone, so— ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And he clearly spends the next 140-odd years going around helping his sisters as his main thing. Like, he also enjoys being with humans very much. He cares for both groups. But he isn’t just hanging out like any human. He has a real purpose in taking care of all the plants all over NML. And there’s no way 140+ years of regular interactions with plants and this power doesn’t change his perspective compared to Trimax Vash.

And not only that, but Tristamp Vash apparently had no idea about this Core thing which could be considered either connected to his other powers or as a third power. So that’s thrown at him, but even though it’s tangled up in uhhhh the whole JuLai fiasco, once all that is unlocked, he bounces right back up, embracing his full strength, the wing, uses his powers to make plant bullets (and making a prosthetic angel arm), the whole deal that Trimax Vash took until the very end of the manga to achieve. And I think a big part of his ability to do that is the 140+ years of embracing his plantness, not ignoring it or denying it. Tristamp Vash is just so much more connected to that part of himself, despite his complicated feelings due to Tesla and Knives, and the general threat humans represent to his autonomy and freedom.

Tristamp Vash does hide his true nature from people (wisely so given his off-the-charts value as a plant that can heal plants), but the bounty is a new thing at the start of Stampede, he hasn’t been forced out of human society like Trimax Vash. Being the planet’s itinerant plant engineer has probably made him everyone’s favorite cryptid. Clearly there’s still chaos in his life, as far back as Rollo he has his Stampede/Typhoon reputation. But it’s a gentler one than post-July Trimax Vash starts his story with. The destruction of Juneora Rock is what starts to darken Tristamp Vash’s rep, cemented by JuLai.

And JuLai is very different from July in so many ways. July was an almost completely involuntary action on Trimax Vash’s part, Knives made everything happen and the only part that didn’t go to his plan was Vash pointing the angel arm at him, and while Vash puts the blame on himself he’s not a reliable narrator for it. JuLai, meanwhile, while it still had a lot of Knives violating the heck out of Vash, Vash was able to fight back and come very close to salvaging the entire situation up until the very end. And Knives put himself in the way of the destruction this time, while Vash begged him to stop and save himself.

Vash will of course 100% blame himself for JuLai because that’s what he does, it’s how he copes. And his failure to safely get rid of that energy cube probably feels like more of a direct responsibility, direct guilt, than Trimax Vash maybe kinda pulling the trigger on the angel arm that Knives had really already fired. More relevant is the fact that while Vash’s powers were what caused the explosion, they’re several steps removed from it. It wasn’t Vash’s body that turned into a gun against his will and swallowed JuLai, with all the body horror that provides. Vash reclaimed his self and agency from Knives, put the energy into the cube to stabilize it, tried to get it out, tried to save JuLai and Knives, and it was a direct struggle between the twins that kept Vash from getting all the energy safely into space. Vash is obviously devastated as Ericks, there’s no way he wouldn’t be devastated at having even a fraction of the responsibility for so much destruction and death. But I don’t see why he would feel the way Trimax Vash feels about being a plant and his powers. It’s just a totally different dynamic.

For Trimax Vash, his identity as a plant represents trauma and loss of agency. For Tristamp Vash, his feelings are complicated but overall his identity as a plant enables him. It gives him purpose, belonging, strength. Trimax Vash is more emotionally aligned with humans because he feels more like a human. Tristamp Vash loves humans but I think he does accept himself as a plant to a significant degree. Tristamp Vash’s greater conflict is being stuck between humanity and plants in terms of the survival of both species. He wants to save both but the best he can do is keep everyone alive until he can’t anymore. That’s devastating to him in a totally different way. I think Tristamp overall is far more focused on survival for entire groups instead of the survival of individuals via pacifism vs killing. Tristamp Vash has a bigger worldview than Trimax Vash, who ignores the bigger picture to overly focus on individuals as a source of hope. Trimax Vash wants to save everyone but Tristamp Vash wants to save EVERYONE. Trimax Vash’s pacifism is driven by his Tesla trauma and subsequent suicide attempt/Rem’s efforts to help him. Tristamp Vash’s savior complex is driven by his Big Fall trauma.

[harrypottermovieproblems]

Hello, all!

We find ourselves at a funny little crossroads today. There is officially an HBO television adaptation of Harry Potter in the works, one with a clearly stated commitment to open casting that could create an inroad to character representations aligning with a great many fans' longtime hopes and dreams for Harry and Hermione especially. Ten years ago, this would have been everything we could have ever hoped for in this fandom. Today, news of this new television show cannot bring joy.

The movie adaptation has brought many book fans a great deal of frustration over the years (hence the creation of this blog); while being greatly beloved by an entire generation, it simultaneously dropped the ball in many areas focusing on characterization and worldbuilding. And yet the faces of that film franchise - the actors of the main trio especially - have been invaluable voices in the public struggle to push back the flood of anti-trans rhetoric free flowing from JK Rowling's social media accounts.

On the other hand, we finally have a long-form adaptation of the series on the horizon, but it comes less than fifteen years after the end of the original movie series and therefore inevitably falls into the exhausting position of being yet another franchise remade too soon. And most importantly, of course, the main and inescapable effect of its creation will be lining the pockets of a woman who has been actively and enthusiastically supporting bigotry against women - both trans and cis - in society and in politics.

There have been rumors that Warner Brothers is trying to buy the rights to the entirety of Harry Potter from JK Rowling, and if true, it has to be admitted - ironically, given the nature of this blog - that I hope they succeed. If the choice is between lack of artistic fulfillment in the portrayal of a fictional world or real-life financial support of a woman actively making the world a more dangerous place for vulnerable populations, there is only one choice to support.

A few years ago, I started writing a detailed post that was a general post-mortem on our collective fanship of JK Rowling, and never completed it due to general feelings of exhaustion, disgust, and feelings that it was redundant. But briefly:

Many years ago, JK Rowling made a post on her personal website about her portrayal of Aunt Marge's bulldogs. She was dissatisfied with how she had written them, because she hadn't known a lot about bulldogs at the time and hadn't taken the care to portray them in a way that did them any justice. While she meant no harm, she's since learned better and wishes, in retrospect, that she had portrayed them differently.

When I think about JK Rowling, I think about that post a lot.

Even before her newest and most outspoken TERF era, even prior to all of the issues involved in the Fantastic Beasts spinoff series, JK Rowling wrote a beloved children's series that was seen as highly progressive upon publication but also contained a number of elements that have aged, shall we say, very poorly. Some of these were markers of the time when Harry Potter was originally written - many things from the 90's have aged badly - and some of them are down to the personal ignorance of the author, whether or not you assume that ignorance came hand-in-hand with malicious intent.

She could have spoken out about this if she wished - you know, like she did with the fucking bulldogs, to say that she had no ill-intent at the time but that would write these elements differently today if she had the chance - but as far as I'm aware, she has not. In fact, despite having endless wealth and resources at her disposal now, as opposed to the original start of her writing journey as a single mother scribbling ideas on cafe napkins, her portrayal of delicate issues of things like race, gender, and sexuality in her writing has only gotten worse.

The 'JK Rowling was always a secret conservative' rhetoric is strong, especially on Tumblr, and while I understand it, I genuinely think that it is misguided. The woman spent most of her life voting in favor of and speaking out for leftist and progressive politics. We (progressives) are not immune from propaganda, radicalization, or being raging fucking bigots. However she votes now, whatever idiots she is friends with now, the call very much started from inside the house on this one.

So, to circle back to the original point of this post:

This new HBO television series, in a best-case scenario, could take all of the tone-deaf sociopolitical issues with the original novels and fix them. It could take all of the creative issues with the movie franchise and fix those too. It could give us a diverse cast and tell an emotional story that does credit to what so many people held dear about the book series while growing up.

(I doubt it will, but it could.)

And yet this would still be a thing that on some level brought me no joy, because at the end of the day, it would also be putting pallets and pallets of cash into JK Rowling's pocket as she continues to dig her way down the conservative rabbit hole instead of fixing any of the mistakes of her early writing career.

Gross.

xoxo

[mywifealhaitham]

can I pls get Akechi Goro Dating HC ?

( a very fluff one to pls 😭 )

୨୧⸝⸝ I'm sooo happy my first p5 request is akechi he's my everything ❤️ also I got very off track on this and it's honestly just word vomit... I hope you enjoy regardless anon ^_^

❥ akechi isn't the worst boyfriend ever its just he is a very complicated person so you might have to adjust to all his sharp sides. dating him when he puts up his princely mask is honestly like a dream. of course pda isn't that common due to his reputation however he makes lots of time for you! at the beginning of the relationship he takes you on some simple dates like to a café.

❥ even though you caught his eye akechi is still a complicated person so these first few dates are just him analyzing you. He's a detective and he needs to make sure your honest true self when your with him because he can't bare to see himself in you. once he either figures out your intentions are pure or you reassure him he'll feel better about himself but he doesn't let his mask slip not just yet.

❥ once he adjusts a bit to quite literally one of the first healthy relationships in his life he's very sweet. he adores quality time with you so honestly you can drag him just about wherever and he'll be happy. again sadly some of this is limited because of his job but he always makes sure to text you goodmorning so you'll see it as you maybe make your way to school or as you just wake up.

❥ princely persona or not he's still a little shit so he likes teasing you. there's a difference between his prince act and real selfs teasing and that is he's alot nicer before you truly know him fully. He normally teases you when he's kissing you, gently brushing his lips on yours or your cheek leaving you flustered. deep inside his heart he finds it cute that you can get flustered just by him... he's just a teensy bit possessive shhh❥ he tries his hardest to keep you away from any metaverse shenanigans and the phantom thieves. he loves you, you're his angel, and if you found out what he did he'd never forgive himself even if you did. though if you know about all of this or god forbid be apart of thieves then his mask will probably slip alot sooner.

❥ for the sake of convenience let's say you did witness everything that went down in shidos palace. he hates how he'll never be the perfect prince for you however his loyalty towards you increases tenfold. if you happen to fight by his side in the metaverse he'll always protect you no matter what. this applies to his personas too, loki and Robin hood are quick to slice any shadows that harms you.

❥ okay now onto some lighter stuff and not just akechi vomit ^_^ he's veryyyy touch starved and he doesn't want to admit to it. anytime you hold his hand or he even just hugs you he gets complete goosebumps. at first he honestly hates it, it makes him feel vulnerable which is something that he never wants to be. just reassure him that it's ok to let down his walls around you and that you love him!

❥ he can't really handle a full cuddle session for that long without feeling uncomfortable however he still loves them. if you too sleep over feel free to cling onto him... late at night he might hold you a bit before gently pushing you off and just holding you hand as you both sleep. on the train he doesn't mind if you lay your head on his shoulder or if you're both standing gripping onto his arm to avoid the passengers.

❥ now that he's more open towards you his teasing definitely gets a bit more mean. of course he doesn't mean any of it it's just the real sweet stuff makes him again feel vulnerable. he'll call you a idiot whenever you lose a game or playfully flick your forehead (I live for teasing I'm giggling kicking my feet rn). in the metaverse if you both are fighting together he might make a remark about you being slow or that you're practically "begging" for him to save you like a princess

❥ Akechi at heart is a very sweet boy, yes he is a murder and kinda insane but I swear guys haha...

[hauntingofhouses]

Seeing fan discussions about Blue Eye Samurai and especially Mizu's identity is so annoying sometimes. So let me just talk about it real quick.

First off, I have to emphasise that different interpretations of the text are always important when discussing fiction. That's how the whole branch of literary studies came to be, and what literary criticism and analysis is all about: people would each have their own interpretation of what the text is saying, each person applying a different lens or theory through which to approach the text (ie. queer theory, feminist theory, reader response theory, postcolonial theory, etc) when analysing it. And while yes, you can just take everything the authors say as gospel, strictly doing so would leave little room for further analysis and subjective interpretation, and both of these are absolutely necessary when having any meaningful discussion about a piece of media.

With that being said, when discussing Blue Eye Samurai, and Mizu's character in particular, I always see people only ever interpret her through a queer lens. Because when discussing themes of identity, yes, a queer reading can definitely apply, and in Mizu's story, queer themes are definitely present. Mizu has to hide her body and do her best to pass in a cisheteronormative society; she presents as a man 99% of the time and is shown to be more comfortable in men's spaces (sword-fighting) than in female spaces (homemaking). Thus, there's nothing wrong with a queer reading at all. Hell, some queer theorists interpret Jo March from Little Women as transmasc and that's totally valid, because like all analyses, they are subjective and argumentative; you have the choice to agree with an interpretation or you can oppose it and form your own.

To that end, I know many are equally adamant that Mizu is strictly a woman, and that's also also a completely valid reading of the text, and aligns with the canon "Word of God", as the creators' intention was to make her a woman. And certainly, feminist themes in the show are undeniably present and greatly colour the narrative, and Episode 4 & 5 are the clearest demonstrations of this: Mizu's protectiveness of Madame Kaji and her girls, Mizu's trauma after killing Kinuyo, her line to Akemi about how little options women have in life, and the way her husband had scorned her for being more capable than him in battle.

I myself personally fall into the camp of Mizu leaning towards womanhood, so i tend to prefer to use she/her pronouns for her, though I don't think she's strictly a cis woman, so I do still interpret her under the non-binary umbrella. But that's besides my point.

My gripe here, and the thing that spurred me to write this post, is that rarely does this fandom even touch upon the more predominant themes of colonialism and postcolonial identities within the story. So it definitely irks me when people say that the show presenting Mizu being cishet is "boring." While it's completely fine to have your opinion and to want queer rep, a statement like that just feels dismissive of the rest of the representation that the show has to offer. And it's frustrating because I know why this is a prevalent sentiment; because fandom culture is usually very white, so of course a majority of the fandom places greater value on a queer narrative (that aligns only with Western ideas of queerness) over a postcolonial, non-Western narrative.

And that relates to how, I feel, people tend to forget, or perhaps just downplay, that the crux of Mizu's internal conflict and her struggle to survive is due to her being mixed-race.

Because while she can blend in rather seamlessly into male society by binding and dressing in men's clothing and lowering her voice and being the best goddamn swordsman there is, she cannot hide her blue eyes. Even with her glasses, you can still see the colour of her eyes from her side profile, and her glasses are constantly thrown off her face in battle. Her blue eyes are the central point to her marginalisation and Otherness within a hegemonic society. It's why everyone calls her ugly or a monster or a demon or deformed; just because she looks different. She is both white and Japanese but accepted in neither societies. Her deepest hatred of herself stems primarily from this hybridised and alienated identity. It's the whole reason why she's so intent on revenge and started learning the way of the sword in the first place; not to fit in better as a man, but to kill the white men who made her this way. These things are intrinsic to her character and to her arc.

Thus, to refuse to engage with these themes and dismiss the importance of how the representation of her racial Otherness speaks to themes of colonialism and racial oppression just feels tone-deaf to the show's message. Because even if Mizu is a cishet woman in canon, that doesn't make her story any less important, because while you as a white queer person living in the West may feel unrepresented, it is still giving a voice to the stories of people of colour, mixed-race folks, and the myriad of marginalised racial/ethnic/cultural groups in non-Western societies.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: (INFJ. 21) I am ashamed and isolated because my sense of fun doesn't coincide with people and society's sense of fun. I don't drink, smoke or go to nightclubs, and I hate those kind of things, but at the same time I feel I am not allowed to have fun and connect with others in any other way but that, and it makes me feel disconnected from humanity.

Your thinking seems quite extreme and one-sided. Society is a big, big place; we're talking thousands, millions, even billions of people. There are many different kinds of people with many different kinds of interests. Social isolation tends to make people very small-minded. By your own admission, you have been isolated a long time, which means you simply haven't seen enough of the social world to make objective and reasonable judgments about it.

I am a very serious and uptight person in real life but I actually enjoy doing childish things. I like going to amusement parks, dodgems, go-karts, arcades, inflatables, camping, some type of toys like stuffed animals and dolls (I don't collect and I am not obsessed with them though), exploring abandoned places, games such as Just Dance, Twister and housey-housey, jumping and doing acrobatics on trampolines, but also some socially acceptable things such as dancing, skating and barbeques, but I repress everything and I never “have fun” in real life.

I have done almost all of those activities with my friends, and we are all well into adulthood. I've even done them with my parents and their middle-aged and elderly friends of all stripes. I see absolutely no reason to hang our heads in shame. You wouldn't even know about many of those activities if they weren't popular enough to make money and continue to exist. Even if it's true that the majority of people around you don't take an interest in them (which is, again, very few people given how small your social world is), it doesn't make those interests any less valid. Are people not allowed to simply like what they like? Are any of those interests morally wrong? It sounds like there is something very off about your moral judgment, which speaks to a need to improve your moral reasoning skills. Poor moral reasoning is one major reason people suffer from excessive guilt or shame.

As a consequence, I am stuck in a limbo where I am miserable and bored but I also find the things that majority of people do boring, so I am not allowed to do anything. I am not someone who wants to be a child forever, I do have a genuine purpose (which, by chance, happened to be something that's the opposite of childish in society's eyes), ambition and career prospects in life, if that's the “grown up” thing you need from me to prove I'm not a complete extraterrestrial freak.

I have zero interest in judging you. Question for reflection: Why do you feel the need to prove anything? Due to projection, self-critical INFJs always imagine that they are being judged by everyone. This can compel them to try to get ahead of criticism or disprove negative judgments. These quests are a waste of time because 1) you can't avoid criticism in life, and 2) you can't change people's minds when they are intent on believing the worst.

What you can control, though, is how you judge yourself. Shame comes from the way you judge yourself. If you have a problem with being too self-critical, the first step is to own the problem and admit that you are the one doing the judging. Criticism can only trigger you when there is something within you that believes you are deserving of it. There is something about your way of evaluating yourself that needs to change.

Obsessing about how the world doesn't live up to your expectations is merely a distraction. Blaming others for how you feel is one common way to get stuck in Ni-Ti loop. Shame is your emotion; you generated it and it is up to you to understand why. Toxic shame is a serious issue and I have written about it before. It involves 1) believing what others say without critical reflection, as well as 2) believing the worst of yourself even though there is no rational reason for doing so. Given the distortions in your beliefs, it sounds like your toxic shame runs deep, perhaps it's a good idea to get professional help for it.

Sometime ago I found myself together with some early teens so the only thing I spoke about with them was careers because I felt that was the only thing I was allowed to do. I don't need to be told it was weird and socially inappropriate to only ever talk about future professions with those children because I fucking know already. When they started playing catch I wanted to join but I didn't, and I thought it was shameful, twisted, sick and deranged of me to want that, I felt like a pedo so I left.

Pedophilia is defined as sexual attraction toward minors. Are you saying it's impossible for an adult to enjoy innocent play with children because of having sexual feelings? If so, then, yes, that would make you a pedophile and you should indeed avoid children. If not, then why wouldn't you allow yourself to have fun with them, especially since fun is what you really need? Children tend to be accepting and love to play with anyone who is willing to chill and have a good time.

The division between "child" and "adult" is not as black-and-white as you believe it is. There is no legal or moral reason that adults cannot enjoy some activities that children enjoy. You seem to have concocted some very extreme beliefs and inflexible rules about what you can/can't do when socializing. Why?

When INFJs get stuck in Ni-Ti loop, they are resisting Fe development, so they unconsciously invent all manner of false beliefs to hold themselves back from getting the socializing they need. This situation with the children is a good example. If you believe adults shouldn't play with children, how are children meant to learn about the world? They require a positive influence from their elders and you could step up and fill that role for them. Yet, you can't, because you have a personal problem with feeling "childish" and it is too uncomfortable to confront, so rejection of yourself leads to rejection of the kids, thus losing a good opportunity to socialize.

When people stop themselves from fulfilling important needs, such as social needs, they suffer terribly. How can you be happy by constantly depriving yourself? If you treated someone else that way, it would be considered abuse. Why are you abusing yourself?

I think it all started when, other than joining the “adult world” and noticing I can't have fun with others because they don't share my sense of fun, a friend of mine told me I was “childish” for liking to explore abandoned places, and it hasn't left my mind ever since. My requited crush (ESFP) also told me I was weird once, and I started to feel even more ashamed because he's socially adept, popular and belongs to the world, and also kinda conformist because he does and is everything that society deems socially acceptable and enjoys it.

The real issue isn't "childishness" at all. The real issue is you were invalidated and it hurt because you lack the emotional and intellectual tools to handle criticism. Human beings are social creatures and need a sense of social belonging, so invalidation and criticism aren't pleasant experiences for anyone. No society is perfect. Every society has great diversity of personalities and you are bound to run into people who are very different from you, which means there's no avoiding invalidating experiences in life. What matters most is how you choose to respond to those experiences.

On one extreme of the spectrum, people stubbornly stand by what they believe even when everyone tells them they are wrong; on the other extreme of the spectrum, people just believe everything they are told without second thought. If you genuinely want to get out of Ni-Ti loop, you have to actively counter extreme and unreasonable thinking patterns whenever they appear in your mind. The healthy middle ground is to listen to what people say, in case they are making a valid point, and then do the critical mental work to evaluate it objectively, in order to extract truth and utility.

What you've done, through Ni-Ti loop, is taken the pain of invalidation/criticism and run off into the land of extreme thinking, eventually getting lost there. You exist on both extremes of the spectrum. On one hand, you just believe whatever negative thing people say about you, which leads you to feel ashamed. On the other hand, something within you can't agree with what was said, which leads you to stubbornly or angrily defend yourself. When you get stuck in such extremes, it is logically untenable, which means it causes psychological instability. What started out as a small hurt of invalidation/criticism has now been blown out of proportion into something so painful that you need to invent false beliefs to rationalize the terrible position you find yourself in.

These kinds of negative thinking patterns indicate a dire need for you to improve your emotional intelligence. The first step is learning to accept and embrace all of your feelings and emotions so that they don't always get blown out of proportion. Your feelings and emotions are important messages that help you maintain good mental health. However, when you don't process them properly, they have the potential to damage your mental health.

For example, it is quite reasonable to feel hurt by invalidation, but it is unreasonable to descend into shame, anger, and rage spirals in reaction to the hurt. You ought to reflect on the hurt, patiently and compassionately, in order to understand its true meaning. Perhaps it is simply informing you that those people are not well-suited to be your friends. You can try to deny the reality of the situation, or you can accept reality and keep moving forward to seek better social opportunities. There is always a better response you could choose.

Being around him makes me feel even more inadequate and self-conscious and I am terrified of him finding out the childish things I like doing because somebody “normal” such as him would think I am a weird mentally ill freak and that would shatter me to pieces because it would be the ultimate disconnect from humanity for me. So I disappeared and cut all contact with him so that he doesn't find out who I really am and starts using it against me.

Have you done something morally wrong? If you have, then it would be right for people to call you out and shame you. If you haven't, then other people's judgments of you are invalid, perhaps to be taken as proof that they are not relationship-ready, unable to be the friend/partner that you need them to be. If that were the case, the best thing to do would be to let the relationship go so that you could find something better. Use your Ni: What are the implications of continuing to tie yourself to his judgments and then blame him for your hurt? You would be stuck in a vicious cycle of fear and loathing with him indefinitely. Is that really how you want to spend your life? Once again, there is a better choice to be made.

I know everybody thinks I am a weird and deragend freak, so I isolate myself and I never express myself because I don't want people to ridicule and reject me for that again. I know I display a childish and simple-minded mindset, so fucking what? Are my insecurities socially unacceptable now as well? Am I not allowed to feel like this because it's the symptom of a “childish person with low ego development”? I only have this mindset because it's the same mindset everybody else has. How am I supposed to navigate the world otherwise?

"Everybody" thinks you're a freak? "Everybody" has this mindset? More examples of extreme thinking. Unless you have literally talked to everybody in the world and can provide concrete proof of their beliefs, then what you have here is a distorted or false belief, based on your own overactive imagination. Yes, rejection doesn't feel good for anybody, so it is reasonable to be afraid of it. But it isn't reasonable to take that fear and turn it into self-righteous rage. Does it make you feel better to rage against the world? Only for a moment, and then you go back to feeling like you're nothing. Unfortunately, it doesn't solve anything and doesn't get you your dignity back.

It's no use to pull a “gotcha” on me because I reprimanded my crush for being conformist while being a conformist myself. I am just bitter and envious that he manages to do it successfully and be part of the world while still feeling free in doing so. The other reason I avoid him and pretend he doesn't exist is to prevent myself from getting triggered by him.

"Pull a gotcha"? Like many socially challenged INFJs, you seem to have a habit of "mindreading", i.e., assuming you know what people are thinking/feeling or presuming to know what they will say. This habit is very destructive to relationships due to causing unnecessary misunderstanding. Socially challenged INFJs also have the habit of making up an image of people in their mind, and that's what they're really interacting with rather than the actual person. Since you're basically just talking to yourself, shall I leave you to it?

If you really already know all about people, then you should be able to resolve your socializing problems yourself and succeed in every relationship... yet you can't. A common way Ni-Ti loop mentally traps you is by making it very easy for you to believe that you know "The Truth" when you're actually just keeping yourself willfully ignorant of evidence to the contrary. The result is, you live in your own imaginary world. To get back to seeing more clearly (dominant Ni) and functioning well in society (auxiliary Fe), it is necessary for you to open your mind and make it more flexible to seeing the full truth. For Ns, feeling the mind get more and more inflexible is a huge red flag that something is wrong with the way they're thinking.

In running this blog, I am often forced to point out problems with people's beliefs only because it's necessary to correct them to reach the next stage of growth - not because I take sadistic pleasure in being pedantic and "pulling a gotcha". To be honest, I deeply dislike the tedious task of wading through the maze of people's distorted beliefs, which is one of the many reasons why I'm not a therapist. If you're going to believe I have ill-intentions and just want to put you down, you really shouldn't ask me for help, because nothing I say is going to get through your paranoia anyway. It would be a waste of time for both of us.

Are you gonna tell me to grow some balls, get over it and become a well-adjusted person? That's one part I predicted, but I also thought I could also get some useful or enlightening advice on how to get over my shame and reconcile my socially unacceptable interests with my bond with others. I just want to feel accepted for who I am and also “belong” and find my tribe, ideally, but I don't know how. It might not seem like it, but I genuinely want to change and have more courage, I was just letting off some steam. If you are wondering why I am a backlogged and underdeveloped individual like you did with the other INFJ not long ago is because I've previously been a hikikomori for 7 years on a Ni-Ti loop. I had this “childish interests” problem even as a teen, but it was nowhere near as severe as now. I used to completely repress my Fe before and I felt no need for relationships because I didn't know how to keep my Fe in check and, as I predicted, now it's out of control and I feel like a weak loser after my crush has made these repressed and unfullfilled needs of mine resurface. I'd rather you not publish my message but only your answer, in case you'll write it. I already know I am deeply gonna regret sending this to you but it's for the best.

"Grow some balls" is not something I would ever say because I believe that it's wrong to use gendered insults. Are you aware of the crude and vulgar way in which you talk to yourself?

Whenever you interact with people, you are taking an emotional risk, so socializing does indeed require some courage. You are risking the possibility of getting rejected. You can accept the risk gracefully and keep moving forward in life, or you can twist yourself up over it and get stuck in fear and pain. You get to choose.

I have made it clear on the contact page that when people send their questions to me anonymously, I will publish them publicly. I can't respond well if I can't make direct reference to the things you've said. But it's important for you to go back and review everything you've written for two other reasons:

1) Self-Reflection: You need to understand that hurt people hurt people. Your lack of self-respect comes out in how little respect you have shown to me. You don't get to rattle, rant, and rave and then, when you feel better, pretend like you didn't say all those things or that the things you said were meaningless, which is what many unhealthy FJs do. It is disrespectful to dump your emotions on someone, presume to know what they will think and say, and then try to control how they respond to you. I'm not your servant to order around. That is not what healthy socializing should look like.

Even if you could find some friends to be your "tribe", it's likely that you wouldn't be able to keep them for very long because of how easily you get triggered into tertiary loop. There is actually nothing morally wrong with your personal interests despite what the people around you say, but there is something wrong with how your unresolved hurt inadvertently causes you to hurt others.

You need to be a good friend in order to keep good friends, which means you have to face up to all the ways in which your extreme thinking leads to toxic behavior, in terms of misunderstanding, misjudging, and mistreating others. When your initial stance in relationships is defensive, distrustful, and antagonistic, you're making yourself unapproachable and unlikable. This only feeds into Ti loop self-sabotage, by repelling people before they reject you.

2) Self-Awareness: The purpose of my blog is to explore ways to improve self-awareness through type development. An important aspect of personal growth is the willingness to confront the truth of oneself. All the things you wrote above are a reflection of you, your beliefs and your values. If you don't like what you wrote or feel ashamed of it, it's a good opportunity to review and reflect on why.

To break out of Ni-Ti loop, you need to face up to: the extreme thinking patterns; the false beliefs distorting your worldview; and most importantly, the deep unresolved pain you feel from isolation and alienation. How can you heal a wound if you're not willing to look at it, tend to it, and apply the required medicine? Yes, it stings, but it is sometimes necessary to endure growing pains in order to grow.

There are things you can do to heal tertiary loop and I've witnessed many INFJs do it. But you have to be willing to take an honest look at yourself and change what needs changing without always falling into the habit of beating yourself bloody. There are several things you need to improve upon in order to break out of tertiary loop:

emotional intelligence: learn to accept, feel, listen, and understand negative emotions such as shame, rather than run from them, defend against them, or give in to them

self-esteem: admit that you are human (rather than always trying to live up to an unreasonable/unrealistic ideal image) so that you can finally hear and fulfill your psychological needs, which would help you feel better about yourself

self-worth: understand that it is okay to need and want love, and most importantly, believe that you are deserving of it, but learn to look for love in the right places

moral reasoning skills: learn to analyze moral issues intelligently so that you can make sound moral judgments on your own, otherwise, you will always be easily led astray by criticism

social skills: learn what it means to interact with real people rather than your image of them; learn to treat people with more respect and acceptance if you hope to receive respect and acceptance; learn to speak up and draw boundaries whenever you encounter people who are hurtful or toxic

communication skills: learn to express yourself authentically, sensitively, calmly, and assertively so that you are not always at the mercy of others in social situations

conflict resolution skills: there is no perfect way to socialize because conflict is inevitable; accept conflict as a fact of life and learn good strategies for minimizing and resolving it

I have already written about these topics before and recommended books on the resources page. Tried-and-true knowledge already exists for your self-improvement. The final question is whether you are actually serious about learning and changing.

With access to the internet, it is easier than ever to find people with similar interests as you. To achieve a goal, a person must be focused and determined. Focus all your attention on refining your search methods, rather than getting distracted by pointless criticism.

I suggest you broaden and systematize your search, instead of wasting time on the wrong people. The more time you've invested in someone, the harder it is on you if the relationship must end. Therefore, it is in your best interest to show your true self at the start of a relationship so that you know the truth and can make a fully informed decision about whether someone is a good fit for you.

Don't walk around believing that everyone should be your bff, otherwise, it is your own unrealistic expectations that will always do you in. It doesn't ultimately matter what is or isn't "mainstream". Everyone has a right to their own interests as long as they're not harming anyone, and a good friend/partner should be able to accept and appreciate legitimate individual differences. Pick your friends and partners carefully.

[fifthpilot]

Hi :)

I hope you're doing well, and that it's not too annoying for me to bring this up. But I recently got back into the Arcana fandom and I was reading up on the changes made to Aisha Alnazar's sprite, which led me to your post.

I'd really like to get a better understanding of the situation, if that's alright? I tried to do as much research as I could online but opinions seem mixed and confused. I hope me asking these questions isn't too troublesome or disrespectful, and I'd appreciate the insight.

From my understanding of your post and what I've read, it's upsetting to some that Aisha's sprite was changed since it felt to be completely erasing Muslim representation by establishing that Aisha and her family are not Muslim, in order for her magical practices to not be disrespectful to the religion, instead of fixing the issue some other way. I think this makes sense to me, but I am a bit confused as to whether that makes the whole premise of Aisha, Salim, and Asra being magicians offensive.

If Aisha had originally not been designed wearing a hijab, and perhaps having a different name without the religious implications, would it still have been offensive for her and her family to be magicians? Or is strictly due to the disrespect of the religion that people are upset?

I see people saying that the combination of her name and the design of her clothing, that is very much in the fashion of a hijab, makes it disrespectful for her to be a magician.

In addition, I was wondering if this means it would have been more respectful for their family to have not been written as magicians at all, if Aisha was initially Muslim-coded.

Alternatively, is there a way for Aisha and her family to be both Muslim and magicians, practicing things like divination and tarot readings, without being disrespectful to real-life religion? Or is this something that cannot happen at all? Is there a way to represent both within the same character?

Thanks for any time and effort you extend to help me understand this further.

Hello anon! no problem at all, its neither troublesome nor disrespectful to have further inquries about the topic!

The main issue with depicting Aisha and Salim as magicians is solely because they were depicted as Muslims too; and since practices of magic and divination is an act of religious disbelief (kufr) and is forbidden by Islam, there lies our issue.

If they're not Muslim then it wouldn't be disrespectful since they now do not stand to represent a specific group of people or religious belief. Representation can only be welcomed if it's done with respect to its native people and their religious rules. Otherwise it can come off as disrespectful and ignorant.

As for whether there was still a way to keep Aisha and Salim Muslim in the arcana; in my opinion it would simply not work. Even if Aisha and Salim were not magicians, the game depicts the major arcana as some kind of deities, capable of things such as rebirth and bestoment of immortality and magical abilities, and divinity. This too goes against what Mulsims believe. Muslims believe only in one God (Allah), "shaitan" (the devil), "djinn" (an intelligent spirit of lower rank than the angels, able to appear in human and animal forms and to possess humans) and angels. and since the major arcana cannot be exactly classified as any of these, then it simply discredits islamic belief in the arcana universe. And since the intention of the story is neither to explore or embellish Islamic Mythology, nor is it too discredit Islamic belief (which would be highly problematic and disrespectful) then there's simply no point to include Muslims at all in the narrative.

Representation is a tricky subject that many writers unfortunately take for granted, thinking that so long as any form of representation for a specific group of people is present then they've done a good job of being inclusive and accepting of other beliefs/cultures etc. But everything must come with proper intention, research and respect to the people you are attempting to represent. There must be serious thought given as to why said specific people should be added to a narrative and what the affect of that might be.

Regarding whether there is a way to represent both a muslim characater and a practitioner of magic; the narrative would ultimately have to give both of these aspects equal importance. So for example; a story that explores a Muslim character who is given the ability of divination, would have to put significant narrative focus on the Muslim and Divination parts (else what is the point of making them muslim in the first place?)

There are multiple ways to include Muslims in fantasy/fiction/sci-fi, it just has to come with intention within the narrative and respect to their rules. People's religious beliefs are not labels but significant parts of what makes them who they are and how they live their lives. If you do proper research and ask the right people from whatever community you're trying to represent then surely a good job will be done.

[sapphire-weapon]

About you’re meta-analysis of Leon, when you talked about him being needed physically and wanted sex to feel needed in some way due to being so extremely, do you think that was expressed in any of the older Leon? What do you think about Leon and Claire in death island.

the thing about RE is that, when you write meta for it, you have to strike a delicate balance between what the text actually says and how the thing was made. a new person writes leon basically every few installments, and everyone's going to have a different take on the character. the guys who have written older leon didn't write him as a whore; only the guys who wrote younger leon seemed to do that. i don't know if this was intentional or if it's just a coincidence.

so in terms of the character himself, it looks outwardly like leon kind of gives up on himself sometime between ID and damnation. after he finally fucks ada, his slut era is over, and now begins the era of bad facial hair and alcohol abuse. it's like he's accepted that his life is completely fucked beyond the point of salvaging, he's realized just how hollow and destructive those brief physical relationships have been, and he retreats inward and just starts drinking to cope instead.

DI is the first time we've seen him pull away from that and go back to something resembling more of his RE4 self. there was no real opportunity for him to actually whore around in that movie, though, so it remains to be seen if that part of him is resurfacing, too. but it's like he's broken through the other side of his depression and has become self-aware for the first time since ID. so we'll see what he looks like the next time he's in something.

also i'm not sure what you're looking for re: leon and claire.

[gettothestabbing]

Ok so real talk, I hate that this is true, but the last guy I was talking to on the dating site really hurt my feelings.

The first thing was how he treated my beliefs as a Christian Scientist. I know most people are unfamiliar with it, and I get that. I spend a LOT of time on this site having to explain it and what I do for work (as they are related). It's also usually the reason people decide I am not worth the effort of pursuing a relationship. At which point I either get ghosted, or rejected with a clear message explaining why, or the man tries to convince me into something shorter-term, which I reject immediately on principle as an abstinent virgin.

This guy went further in that he sent me an apologetics article that calls us un-Christian, accuses us of blanket child neglect and abuse, and cherrypicks quotes from our denominational textbook without any deeper understanding of what our terminology means or how various pages connect to each other. I have heard all those accusations before, but I'm just. I'm tired guys. I'm so tired of being condescended to and treated as if I'm some freak who has to prove herself a true follower of Christ. This guy was nondenom and doesn't even believe in the Trinity. He wouldn't even show me a picture of himself. I try to go into any discussion with good-faith and good intentions. But this was an unexpected broadside. I answered all his questions but I know it will make little difference.

The other thing was, after I asked him if he could use a library Internet connection to try and upload a photo, he told me I was "tough", asked me if I would be so tough on my husband, and asked if I really wanted a husband to love and cherish or if I just wanted to be a mom and needed some guy to do it.

i feel like asking for a photo, when mine are readily available and we have been talking for over two weeks, is a very reasonable thing to ask. I have high standards in some regards, but THIS was not one of them. And yes, I have wanted to be a mother basically since I hit puberty, so for about 20 years now.

But I wanted to be a wife even before that point. My first crush was at 7. I've had maybe 200 crushes since then. I have wanted to not be single for a huge amount of my life, and I keep trying to make that happen, and aside from two brief relationships, I have gotten nowhere. Both my dad and sister have married (happily thankfully) since I was 17. I'm grateful for the relationships I have had, because they taught me things about myself and made me a better person.

My sister pointed out that I was speaking bluntly and cynically in my messages, which probably contributed to this breakdown in our convo quite a lot. But I found that people steamrolled over my boundaries when I was more vulnerable, even over text communication. So I stopped being vulnerable.

If the guy is going to treat this like an arranged marriage, where we hammer out all the things we must agree on first, then why should I act like it's some spontaneous romantic connection? He clearly doesn't think of it that way, and he's not telling me anything about himself except what he thinks theologically.

Anyway, I'm not meeting anyone of quality on this site, and I'm done. I've done my due diligence with dating sites, but I think I'm finally completely tired of them. It's been very hard for me to meet people outside of them: I work evenings and weekends, I don't drink or club, and because my schedule is subject to change at any moment, I haven't joined any regular classes or groups the whole 3 years I've lived in this state.

The guy I currently like, I met at work, and he is a friend and may not be romantically interested in me. (My brain is delulu about it so it's hard to tell objectively if he has any interest. I keep telling myself to be cautious and err on the side of 'you're imagining it.') Hence why I was continuing to use the dating site, as the account was prepaid up until next April. But really, that's just sunk-cost mentality talking.

I am turning 30 next month. My parents were 31 and 28 when I was born. They had already been married for 7 years then (college sweethearts). My sister married her only boyfriend, also her college sweetheart, 3.5 years ago, and they got pregnant the first month they tried to.

In my family, every single adult was married by my age, with the sole exception of my lovably weird uncle at 33. The adults who I've asked for advice are at a bit of a loss regarding my case. By my age, most were married with kids or kids on the way. My grandma's advice to meet someone was to volunteer for the GOP. I'm at the point where I'm actually considering doing it. At least it would guarantee some common ground.

I try not to voice my concerns about still being single and childless too much to people other than my sister. I can tell it makes people uncomfortable, since I'm basically saying, "I'm not happy where I am, and no one can tell me what thing(s) to do that could fix it, since any issue I do fix is no guarantee of me finding someone I can connect with, because that's just not how it works." I'm sure my sister is also tired of hearing me say the same things over and over. But I'm tired of saying them. I want to not be in this phase of my life anymore, but I can't force a relationship to happen.

The thing about that 'cart before the horse' accusation, about wanting kids but not a husband, is that it's painfully untrue. I would never willingly become a single mom just to have kids. I want BOTH marriage and motherhood, in the proper order. I am a virgin, yes, but I'm also an adult. I DO WANT a sexual relationship! I just know that it's wrong to have one outside the marriage covenant. I've been tempted, and I've desired people, but I know what the right way to act is, and I have stayed the course. I WANT to have children, preferably of my own, but more than that, I want that companionship. I want that deep abiding friendship that's at the heart of any good marriage. I want to live with someone, and support them, and cook for them, and read with them, and mow the lawn together, and fight about money or the cats or something. I want to find that so badly, and I'm horribly aware of time passing me by, of all the missed opportunities and all my faults.

Fringe benefit: if I was a married woman, or a mother, or both, then maybe I wouldn't be talked down to by people who are married or parents anymore. I'm not an overgrown child just because I haven't had these experiences yet. Just like an adult virgin experiences sexual desire and temptation, a single childless woman can know what she wants from a future marriage and how she would like to act as a mom. I know having the experience is different from thinking about it, but I can't force the experience to happen, and I'm tired of being treated like I'm stupid or naive just because my experience differs.

[dominijoyce]

"Are you crying? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I just- I have always dreamed of this opportunity and lost hope in it and yet- And yet, here you are."

Idea inspired by @starplatinumgold in which Fugo is a gorgon who went all of his life scared of hurting others and Giorno is a living stone statue and therefore immune to his deadly sight giving his lover the opportunity to be this close to someone without worry of doing them harm.

Also if you are interested, I included some of my ideas of other Vento Aureo characters in this Monster AU under the cut- Maybe someone might get inspired to produce something out of that, just how I did, heh.

Okay *cracks knuckles*

Vento Aureo Monster High AU (cause that's what happens when two completely different hyperfixations meet)

First things first, this AU doesn't take place in the high school itself, cause I don't wanna mess with character ages and etc. This AU (at least my version of it) doesn't involve mafia either, because I just imagine it as a simple Vento Aureo Simple Slice of Life shenanigans, but with monster twist (they deserve to not suffer at least once, heh)

The main idea for Fugo other than a gorgon is that he is specifically the child of Sthenno (was thinking of Euryale first, cause there is no canon child of her yet, but I think Sthenno fits him better)

The original poster that inspired this idea compared Giorno to a gargoyle but I don't think that fits him so he is a living statue, cause Araki based his design off of one. While they aren't connected in this AU, I also sorta got the inspiration from the myth of Galatea and Pygmalion which makes both Giorno and Fugo related to ancient myths ^-^ (also my friend pointed out that it also fits, because vampires are connected to Pillar Men - wasn't intentional, but also fun)

As for the rest of the main squad-

Bruno is a werewolf, but not because of the reasons that people might compare him to one (wolflike behaviors, leadership skills, sort of caretaking nature etc.), I mean those too, but I made him into one, because of a reason that only real true OG Monster High fans are able to connect :p

Leone is a banshee, because death follows him everywhere, heh. In all seriousness I just think it fits him and his aesthetic and also I have seen multiple reinterpretations of him as a ghost and I wanted to be sort of "original" (banshees *are* ghosts in MH, I know, but they are like weird and not full type of ghosts so *shrug*)

Narancia is a steam robot, who is a "failed prototype" of his creator, that was thrown away. He malfunctions quite often or even completely shuts off due to various issues with his design, quite often forced to replace his parts with any new ones he manages to find (can't exactly afford to buy new ones yet or do a full repair). Also he has a jetpack, a radar similar to his Stand and his shoes can switch to roller-skates.

Mista is a black werecat, because I honestly have no idea what else could fit him tbh. His main gimmick is luck and unluck, where he is superstitious about every little thing (not only fours) that could bring unluck - sometimes including himself, even when others reassure him there's no way he brings anyone bad luck with just existing. He is still paranoic though.

Lastly, Trish is a hybrid monster, because I fell in love with this concept back when it was introduced and I firmly believe we need more of that. She is a sea monster and boogeyman hybrid. Sea monster cause she grew up on the coast and boogeyman cause Diavolo ofc, but also I think it is funny cause in canon MH boogeymen hate being the center of attention and use shadows or shapeshifting to always be out of spotlight, while I imagine Trish would be the opposite of that and always strive to be the brightest star in a room. Sea monster also fits, because some of those underwater weirdos (like octopi among others) can manipulate their shape to such a high degree and fit into such narrow spaces and that kinda reminds me of her Stand.

If you read all of this, thanks for being interested in my random rambles and ideas and hope you like them. Maybe I will come up with more (was considering Part 6 Protagonists as Monsters, but not many ideas yet), but for now have these funky creatures!

[batbeato]

deeply fascinated by media with incredible concepts that have fatal flaws that prevent it from fully exploring said concepts.

today's media is yuuki yuuna is a hero (the anime adaptation) which has the idea of magical girls being sacrifices to the gods, tying back into the idea of virginal sacrifice and also going into how tapping into divine powers is too much for humans to take. having these magical girls be objects of religious worship. and yet it also tying into how fighting, even for an incredible cause (saving the world, in this case) can lead to physical damage that prevents you from living the same way you did before (creating many potential parallels with real life soldiers who come back from war with loss of hearing, loss of limbs/use of limbs, loss of an eye/sight, etc. etc.). especially with how the magical girls are lied to by the religious/government officials the same way soldiers that sign up for wars are fed propaganda.

the section of the story where tougo realizes that outside the divine tree, the world is like hell itself, is another moment that can be laden with metaphor: once you are stripped of the shiny propaganda, you realize that the world is actually a terrible corrupt place. or, perhaps, that without the propaganda, war and dying for a cause isn't a beautiful thing, but a terrible one, a cycle with no end where people are sacrificed for ideals and because there is "no other way", but you are always promised that the end is in sight (it will never come). various ways you can interpret it.

...and then yuuki yuuna ends with the divine tree deciding that it no longer needs sacrifices (because the girls almost destroyed the tree? potentially? though this is never actually confirmed to be the reason why) and the girls are cured of any and all disabilities/injuries that they have obtained over the course of the story. hooray.

this ending not only ignores various points set up by nogi (that she will use her fairies to stop magical girls who go berserk, that the tree demands sacrifices, etc.) but ignores nogi's existence entirely. the anime gives her one silent shot (which can be difficult to tell is her, even, given that we have never seen nogi when not bedbound) and tougou never acknowledges nogi in the finale either, despite having 2 years of fighting alongside her returned (this fact is also not mentioned).

the final battle has yuuna telling tougou that as long as they are fighting together, she doesn't care what happens to herself, and she won't forget tougou. and then this entire point becomes moot because the fighting ends completely for an arbitrary reason (yes, you can make logical arguments as to why, but thematically it comes out of nowhere).

(...I also don't even know what to say about disabilities being magically cured. I don't think I have the tools needed to unpack that.)

But yuuki yuuna has these incredible concepts - divine sacrifice, the losses of war, dealing with newfound disabilities, child soldiers - that it executes well up until this point. It's like wonder egg priority's twin, separated at birth (both have incredible concepts and execution up until an ending that seems abrupt and out of place, though in WEP's case this is due to production issues).

Maybe this ending comes off differently from how it did in the original light novel. Maybe some key details were left out. However, it is the job of an anime adaptation to adapt the source material in such a way that viewers new to the material can understand and follow along without needing to consult the original source for explanations, especially about the ending of the show.

(Yes, I am aware that there's a sequel. However, I feel that the anime tries to wrap itself up in a nice little bow, without saying "the adventure continues in the next season!" so it is not important for my point.)

...Another thing is that, if we assume that the intention is that somehow, Yuuna's heroism inspired the divine tree to change its mind (when, somehow, the original magical girl trio... didn't?) this changes a lot about yuuki yuuna. It means that yuuki yuuna isn't a magical girl deconstruction, and all that entails/implies (psychological horror, exploration of trauma, etc.). Yuuki Yuuna is a magical girl reconstruction. It is "despite the horrors, girlhood and friendship prevail!".

To me, this is infinitely less interesting. Yes, that's nice. They prevail for Yuuna because she is the special chosen hero. And for the rest of the magical girls - they suffer until Magical Girl Messiah comes. (Where was this prevailing when Nogi was bedbound, when her friend died, when Tougou lost her memories?)

...Anyway. Yuuki Yuuna has nice concepts. It deals with them well for most of its run. I like that. And I will eventually find a way to will the ending out of my mind, or interpret it in a satisfying way that seems thematically coherent.

[hughesmedicine]

little information for the yn swift au before I get the first post out of it.

• she didn’t use her sister for fame.

y/n wanted to keep her life as taylor swifts sister a secret and everybody knew that and agreed that it was the best option for her (since being at a younger age) but she grew her own popularity and kept her life hidden a lot besides when it came to friends, they knew everything and she only posts her friends on her insta till now

• how she met jack

she met jack while touring with her sister they were both 14 and one of the stops was in michigan which him and his brothers were out with their parents for lunch when she ran into jack trying to get away from the bodyguard which he quickly helped her up and apologized and she went off with them to get away from the bodyguard which they understood completely and ellen took her under her wing and they even talked to y/ns parents to see if it was okay for them to hang out noticing jack was taking a liking to her (despite the bodyguard’s complaints about her running off with complete strangers but he’s allowed to worry since that’s his best friend)

•how they found out she was a swift

he and trevor were walking before practice when he saw y/n and Taylor out together and ofc trevor wasn’t trying to freak out but he was curious as to why he was staring at the young girl with a slight glare on his face (he’s valid for the face though cause how is your girlfriend for the last two years gonna keep a secret that big from him yk?)

“why are you staring at that girl jack?”

“she’s my girlfriend and I’m curious as to why she’s with that singer your obsessed with?”

“taylors her name but let’s go up to them.”

so they did and it took a lot of explaining to do without trevor begging for a photo but he knew this was a sensitive topic so he waited till everyone made up before asking which caused you guys to laugh together and eventually get a picture

• her last name was the worst thing to her ever in her young life

she hated her last name so much imagine being 12 and trying to make friends but all people can comment on is “oh your last names swift are you related to Taylor?” she would tell them no and they would walk away immediately which made her realize that some people were gonna use her and not want to be her friend unless she was and so that’s why she went home that day she asked her mom if she could go under a different last name knowing that the question wouldn’t stop there. Her parents completely understood and so did taylor but they made it work and she went under a completely different name and played it off that the school fucked up her last name

• her friends

now with this it’s sensitive to her cause she has lost some friends due to them using her and it fucken hurt her, like once it happened her whole world flip the whole school found out who she was and that destroyed her but her real friends stuck by her side and got her through it and even warded off the pricks who’s intentions weren’t the best at the school unfortunately she had to transfer and go under a different last name but she kept in contact with cole( makes sense yk) and kiya

• that trevor meeting

to say he asks way too many questions but of course she was nice enough to answer some of them and he completely understood about the secret and never letting anybody know, they constantly texted eachother and he was her shoulder to cry on when Jack was busy and Jack was so grateful that Trevor was there to help out in any ways he could since being drafted and trevor and y/n continued to be friends and he’ll thank him everyday for everything’s his done and even introducing her to his friends further down the line (and becoming besties with jamie and alex)

•college life

she chose to go umich under swift and it did change her life a bit but not much, some were worried about her last name others were like it’s just a last name who cares? Secretly they cared but they wouldn’t confront her about it cause it’s none of their business, she did get close with luke and he’s basically her best friend ever since they first met and he’s been that since, wherever y/n is lukes right behind her and so is most of the umich hockey team (considering she’s on the media team for them so she does takes pictures alot despite their protests)

nobody was gonna fuck with her if they saw hockey players walking right behind her which she was grateful for but she mostly hung out with the sophomore boys(cause of luke) and the freshman boys just call her mom and the memories she made with them, she wouldn’t change it for the world. (in this she’s a senior )

I think that’s all I need to cover so but if I think of more I’ll add it.

one

[middlenameray]

Realized on Sunday that I have assembled more than enough cohesive song ideas to justify a new album. Have been slightly consumed with that realization ever since (in a good way, I think?)

The major catalyst for this is that I started learning how to play guitar in earnest in the fall of 2022. It’s been really transformative to my identity as an artist, to my songwriting, and to my relationship with music making in general. I have a LOT more to learn, but I think I can begin moving on the seeds of material I’ve been storing away as I’ve gone along.

Of course these longform projects have a way of evolving into completely different animals as they progress, but at this moment, I’m inspired to use this potential project to reach some semblance of closure on things I’ve been carrying around my whole life. (read: formative experiences with shame, disappointment, bullying, abandonment, grief and so forth.) Not exactly a happy record lol but will certainly be cathartic.

Why has it taken over three albums for me to “get personal” like this? Well, for one thing, my upbringing as a gospel singer trained me to put The Message before my own narrative. So much of my early music has stopped short of going too deep because I’ve always felt I needed to put a hopeful or positive spin on things.

Even with my Backslider album, which was very critical of this indoctrination, I felt like I had to balance the introspective with more global subject matter. Songs like “Abomination”, “Hostile Cordiality” and “Take Too Long” are the beginnings of me going “hi, this is about me and the real life experiences that have shaped me,” but they’re sandwiched among other songs that more broadly speak to systemic oppression and humanity.

And of course my last album was an intentional homage to my gospel roots, so again, the focus was mostly on universal messaging - “Stars” and “It’s Not Too Late” are probably the most introspective lyrics on the whole project.

The other reason is that, in regards to the specific stories that I want to tell now, a lot of them go back to early childhood: things I have hazy memories of and/or that in many ways have felt unnecessary or self-indulgent to revisit now that I’m an adult.

Add to this the fact that I’ve had quite a few transitions in my life that have ended my time in communities before I was ever able to get closure on them. In childhood, I moved around a bit which meant repeatedly starting over at different schools and neighborhoods - we also changed churches a few times, too.

At 18, I relocated states for college and came out: in many ways, I never looked back. I then relocated states again after graduating to get married and moved around even more for the next half-decade. We moved back to Nashville in 2019 and have been living in the same home for almost 5 years now - which is honestly the longest I’ve lived at any address since I was like six years old.

Anyway, each and every transition has lended itself to constant reinvention - using each ending and new beginning to redefine myself. Sometimes I had intentions of staying in touch with the loved ones left behind; other times, less so. In either case, it barely happened, and today I don’t really have close friendships (people I talk to on even a monthly basis) with very many people outside of my husband and immediate family.

Even my latest transition from Twitter to Bluesky has been an online mirror of this: the blessing of constantly getting to redefine and set new boundaries for what I want from community paired with the curse of said community never lasting.

I could go on and on about that but the point is: being able to dive completely into introspective storytelling feels very, very long overdue. And I’m excited about it. I also think, as I write this, that I’m emotionally capable of doing this work in ways that I probably would not have been in the past. So, I guess it’s all in due timing, actually. These songs feel really stimulating and compelling to work on, which, for as heavy as the subject matter is to revisit, is joyous and affirming for me that I’m supposed to be doing this.

[burningexeter]

Here's an entire pitch that I came up with for a spin-off video game called "A Tale Of Darkness" that brings together Tangled and Frozen in an unconventional way.

It's a dark fantasy action adventure video game that is a Tangled/Frozen female-led crossover in a different continuity, has Devil May Cry-influenced gameplay and has a mixture of high-quality computer animated cutscenes that advance the story in their own different and unique ways.

Premise:

"A Tale Of Darkness" tells the story of Anna, the sweet and kind-hearted but klutzy and socially awkward young peasant woman who is too clumsy for her own good, always leaving a mess of a trail behind much to her frustration and is seen as an outcast. It's then on one night after humiliating herself at the "Fall Harvest" due to an incident with a pig that her life is turned completely upside-down when living shadows abduct her mother and 10-year-old sister and take them into the deepest and darkest part of the forest.

There, Anna finds herself in a hidden but deadly magical world right under our noses in an attempt to rescue them against all the odds as she now has a hardened armor attached to her body that gives her pale white skin and incredible fighting skills which she now has to use in order to survive and save her mother and sister.

Along the way not only must Anna overcome the highest stakes possible ranging from the numerous macabre creatures to this hidden world's leader whose responsible for everything occurring to said leader's female soldiers with the same armor, pale skin and skills but also find it in herself the courage, maturity and strength she never knew she had.

However in doing so, Anna ends up unintentionally attracting the attention of a certain soldier by the name of Elsa who later towards the final act offers to team up with Anna after not only being impressed with her skills especially in their previous encounters but also finding out her leader's true intentions.

Notes/Trivia/Details:

• The gameplay will be heavily influenced by a lot of the free-world and combat of the first Devil May Cry game and even The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge while at the same time taking what made those gameplays distinctive and making it all its own.... and also fixing all of the problems RebelTaxi had with Oogie's Revenge in his review.

• As for the aesthetic, like I said it will have the same quality of animation that the films, short and special all have with the cutscenes and aforementioned gameplay being done by WDAS. But at the same time, it will also have a gothic and macabre style to it that is almost Tim Burton-reminiscant especially with the backgrounds.

• Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Mandy Moore and Eden Espinosa will all reprise their roles of Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel and Cassandra. The latter three characters are now in this version or continuity part of the army of soldiers with Cass being a maniacal and manipulative one who later uses it for good, Rapunzel being the good-natured one who always gets pushed around quite literally but finally has enough and finds her own inner strength and Elsa being at first the loyal mook who follows any order that she's told and only breaks them when she feels or thinks it's for the better but then teams up with Anna when she finds out her leader's real plans.

• Three new characters are three grey-skinned female vampires with their own bombastic and enjoyably twisted personalities - Cherry, Elise and Athena - that just like Elsa, Rapunzel and Cass will turn around to the good side through their own means. Influenced by the Brides from Van Helsing in their winged bat forms minus the wings and less over-the-top as they were.

• Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel and Cass will have the same type of armor that Cass had in Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure S3 when she fused with the Moonstone, pale skin and all while at the same time keeping the colors of their hair so said color pops - Anna's hair is brown, Elsa's hair is white, Rapunzel's hair is golden blonde and Cassandra's hair is black. Meanwhile with their armor - Anna's armor is brown, Elsa's armor is white, Rapunzel's armor is purple and Cassandra's armor is black.

• The game will have a dark and intense, scary edge to it that shows us the dangers and stakes that all of the characters, especially Anna, are in and to balance out the lighter aspects. For example, when Anna accidentally ends up falling on Elsa.... Elsa devours her whole. Only for Anna to blast her way out of Elsa's stomach using something she ate way earlier and for later, Elsa puts herself back together in one.

• As for the villain of the video game, the leader that I've mentioned is named Eris and is a cunning, cold-hearted and ferocious master who is later on revealed to have a code she goes by when push comes to shove while at the same time never losing her menace.

• SPOILERS: How it ends is that after going through hell and back and a larger climax than you think, Anna is reunited with her mother and sister only to find out when they're asleep that she still has her armor and that Elsa, Rapunzel, Cassandra, Cherry, Elise and Athena all followed her into her world with Elsa proposing that they use their skills for good and that her and Anna become a couple. Without any other choice, Anna's forced to agree with Elsa embracing her.

Remember, different continuity. They are not related here as they honestly should've been from the getco.

One final thing that should be interesting is without it being obvious is that every now and then there are a few easter eggs that heavily imply a retroactive shared universe and it could be in a shared universe. It's through objects that Eris collects.

[spoocys-glade-of-dreams]

The story/lore/relationship between Captain Laserhawk Rayman and Raymona differs between roleplay partners. I was telling this story to @pktearsoftazmily over Discord since it relates to our threads.

For those that have been keeping up with that story line: Rayman and Raymona had a fight that lead to them completely cutting contact with each other for a long time. The full details were never really discussed in the thread and this is still a very raw topic for both of them. So it's better if I as the admin/mun explain this one since the two are not really comfortable sharing the whole details themselves due to how much it hurt them both in the long run. They may never reveal the full story of what happened that day themselves.

When Rayman was still the voice of Eden, he was working hard to get that security for himself and wanted to make life better for the folks of Eden. Especially the hybrids and other members that suffered at the hands of discrimination. Raymona had established a close friendship with Murfy, and Murfy disclosed to her a lot of info of what Eden was doing. She had intentions of joining Murfy's resistance group. She would try to relay this information to Rayman. Rayman didn't want to hear it. It got to a point where whenever Raymona wanted to talk to Rayman about Eden's corruption, he would shut her down and put the talk off entirely.

Raymona got fed up. She, once again, approached Rayman to talk with him. This time she was intending to invite him to join Murfy's group with the greenbottle's permission to offer it. Rayman told her that they could discuss whatever she wanted to talk about later. Raymona gave him the ultimatum that they could either have that chance to talk now, or she was going to leave. That's when the fight broke out. A lot of harsh words were exchanged between the two. It ended with Rayman storming off and giving her the silent treatment. This included not picking up any phone calls from her. One of these phone calls that he ignored was Raymona trying to tell him that she was moving, and that if he didn't contact her soon, this may be the last time they would see each other.

When Rayman finally realized he needed to reach out and apologize to her, he discovered that her phone number had been disconnected. He got her some apology flowers and arranged for a ride to her home only to find that it was for sale and empty. It began to set in that Raymona, his only real friend, may be gone for good.

Rayman spent a lot of time, resources, and credits trying to find out what had happened to her. She could not be found. No one could trace her. She had vanished off the face of the planet, leaving Rayman all alone.

This left a scar. One that he hasn't healed from to this day. He thought he had pushed her away. That he was never going to see her again. The fight haunted him, even in his own dreams. Constantly playing that day out and he was powerless to change it. He did his best to cope with everything, but he never got over the regret and the hurt.

Raymona had been missing for at least six whole years before they finally reunited with the help of Bullfrog.

Rayman (going by Ramon during this time) was hesitant in meeting up with Raymona again. He was afraid to face her after everything that happened. With some encouragement from Bullfrog, he finally sought her and Murfy out. He was shocked to see Raymona had forgiven him for everything. Murfy, despite being untrusting of Rayman given how he treated Raymona, allowed him to stay with them at the apartment he was acting as landlord for. Rayman would stay with Raymona until he could get his own apartment situated.

He was always worried about burdening her or overstepping, yet Raymona remained the kind soul that he remembered her as. It was like nothing had changed despite the six years they spent apart from each other. His bond with her grew deeper, and he would begin to show interest in Raymona romantically. She never confirmed nor denied that she shared this interest. Rayman never understood why she did this.

Until it came to light that Raymona had gotten herself trapped working with the slave trader Hoyt Volker. Upon learning over time about everything Hoyt's men would do to Raymona, he feels like he broke his promise to her. The vow they made when they arrived in this Dimension: To look out for each other. He feels like he couldn't protect her, and that was the reason he decided to confront Hoyt like he did: Recklessly.

That fight they had is one of the major factors behind his fear of abandonment. He worries about pushing his loved ones away, and this was a factor in why Rayman reacted so badly to when Lucas tried to run away from home. He thought he had done something to cause his adopted son to want to leave.

He still cannot fathom why Raymona welcomed him back with open "arms" because he knows she deserves someone so much better than him. The fact she chose him means the whole world to him. Rayman intends to make sure she knows how much he cherishes her.

That includes putting everything he's doing on hold when Raymona says she needs to talk to him. He takes her concerns much more seriously now and always makes time when she says she needs to talk to him.

He really does believe Raymona may be his soul mate. Something that his adopted son seems to agree with as well.

[abysskeeper]

Quest Updated: The Nightrose

Fiona Silverwind (Azali Vareth) // Folk Hero // College of Valor Bard

Born the half-drow daughter to a Lolth-Sworn turncoat sorcerer of a father and a high half-elf bard of a mother, Fi had a more unusual upbringing than most. Up until the age of 12, she visited her mother semi-regularly, but spent most of her life with her father, Tarez Vareth, in the Underdark as he worked with a group of Seldarine drow to help other drow escape their lives among their Lolth-Sworn counterparts. In part, this was because Tarez wanted his daughter to grow up understanding her drow heritage, and in part this was because Fi showed a propensity towards magic at a young age. However, while the Seldarine drow were always kind to her (and far kinder than any treatment she would have received in Menzoberranzan), Fi was always distinctly aware of the barriers between her and the drow around her due to her half-blood heritage, and longed for the freedom of traveling with her mother and her well-regarded entertainment troupe on the surface.

After finally convincing her father she understood and respected her drow heritage, but did not belong in the Underdark, Fi started traveling with her mother, Lady Rose Silverwind, and the troupe. Fiona, then going by Azali still to honor her father, was quick to learn two things on the surface. For one, her complexion was...less than ideal when dealing with the day to day of the surface world, and for two, she had a strong inclination towards music as well as magic. She immediately followed in her mother's footsteps as a bard, and joined the troupe officially as a violinist and singer on her mother's one condition that she disguised herself and her half-drow heritage**. She knew her mother was not malicious with her intent and instead an incredibly worried mother, so Fi agreed and began performing with the troupe far and wide for anyone and everyone along the Sword Coast.

As time wore on and she grew older, Fiona eventually started wanting to strike out on her own (as herself) and honor the stories she came to know and love. Though convinced someone of her complexion could never be the hero of those stories (Drizzt was a once in a century sorta deal after all), she instead wanted to become the person to be there and catalogue the heroes' deeds so that their stories could continue being told and bringing inspiration for years to come. The idea of the Nightrose was a complete accident, born of her inability to stand idly by while injustice was happening and her need to help. After one, disastrous attempt to do so without any alterations to her appearance, she got the idea to start changing her appearance like her mother taught her and enact her vigilante justice in that manner. And thus, the Nightrose was born, and she donned a different appearance every single time, so no one else is sure who the Nightrose really is, or if she is even just one girl.

And so by day, Fiona travels as the young, half-drow bard, always willing to offer a story or a song to anyone who asks, and by night she works as the Nightrose wherever she's needed. It was all working wonderfully until a certain Nautiloid appeared and she got an additional little traveler in her eye along with the rest of them.

**Additional:

How Fiona looks vs how she disguises herself, usually as a high half-elf who bares a striking resemblance to her mother. She's often considered hiding her eye color in her true half-drow appearance, since she knows the pinkish red eye she inherited from her father unsettles a lot of people, but can't bring herself to do it. Instead, she styles her hair and uses her clothes (her hat, primarily) to conceal it.

What her true, real name is (Azali Fiona Vareth or Fiona Azali Silverwind) depends on which parent you ask, or at what point in time you ask her. She kept the name Azali as a kid even when she went to the surface in order to honor her father, but she listed her family name as 'Silverwind' once traveling with her mother. When her father died, she felt like she no longer had any ties to the Underdark and took on the name Fiona, which is what her mother wanted to call her. Fiona Silverwind is what she's considered her full name most of her adult life, though of late she has been toying with the idea of reclaiming her father's family name and going by Fiona Vareth.

The scar on her cheek came from her first couple of months on the surface. She was out running an errand for her mother alone one day in Baldur's Gate and a couple of young boys were harassing her for her general appearance. They got annoyed at her ignoring them so one of them picked up a rock and threw it at her, hitting her in the jaw and leaving a nasty cut. It was this incident that convinced her mother she needed to be magically disguised, and admittedly, the incident that made Fi stop arguing against the idea.