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ubormaci · 5 months

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A character archetype I really like

After my recent reading of Pact Dice: Mile End, I once again started thinking about a character archetype I really like.

It can be summed up as such: "A character gains access to a very strong power, a power that is 'dark', easy to use with devastating consequences for both the attacked and the attacker. No matter who they are, they will be feared." It's a tad long more long-winded than I initially intended, but it gets the point across, I think.

Though I won't shirk examples, starting with two obvious ones: Naruto from Naruto, and Blake from Pact. The former learns that he is the host of the strongest demon, while the latter discovers that he inherited demonic magic.

I don't remember if I ever read a story in which the protagonist was eager to use this power, and it's easy to see why: in-universe because they presumably wish to live a long live, out-of-universe because it removes a lot of the stakes if our protagonist just shoots to the top of the power pyramid. (While you, as the author, can make it so that 'There are actually several tiers of powers above yours.' that feels like a bit of a cop-out.)

But despite these challenges, I love it when the character leans into this power. Burns bright and burns up, confirms the fears of everyone else, and maybe even comes out more or less in one piece; though this last one is a bit much, I admit.

Let's return to the previously mentioned works to see how they fare on this front: As far as I got in Pact, Blake never used demons/demonic magic, which made me sad.

Naruto, though, has good moments. Despite his refusal to use the demon's power, there are situations where he's forced to, life-or-death when the demon comes out and we truly see how far above everything else it is.

He never goes all-out though; he doesn't deliberately use the power, it's accidental on his part. He restrains himself, each time it happens, stopping it from advancing.

That's how it goes in Part 1, and for the start of Part 2, it's the same. There's one delightful moment where we see him reach a new best of 4 out of the 9 tails against Orochimaru, but after that he doubles-down on his refusal to use the power.

That is, until Pain's assault on Konoha. After the titular villain levels the village, and restrains him rather painfully, he is still adamant about his refusal. It changes though, when the girl he likes/loves puts herself in front of Pain to defend him, causing her to be 'mortally injured'.

The ensuing fight is my favorite one from the entire manga. Nothing even comes close. He willingly lets go, immediately manifesting 6 out the 9 tails, and only increasing it from there. When you realize that he was capable of this destruction the entire time, it recontextualizes a lot of Part 1.

What I wanted to illustrate with that is how exhilirating it is, in my opinion, to see the power used.

Anyways, the character who brought this little write-up on is called Gail Neumann, one of the player characters in the aforementioned Mile End campaign. Of the six main characters, she is by far the most powerful in a fight, and her feats outshine everyone else's.

Her Practice is about calling on the Abyss for power; she's a Scourge, infecting others with Taint. The Abyss is eager, easy to use but volatile and with a lot of potential to over-harm.

Watching her use it is thrilling. I love how freely she does it, not even watching the slippery slope. I want more of this, characters given great power, who when confronted by others, lean on said power, damn the consequences; while their lives might not be long or happy, the lives of their enemies won't be, at all.

Crawling through the Pact Dice docs, I found even more of this kind of power-user in the Otherverse, a whole category of them in fact: Harbingers: "Chosen of a higher power or powerful other, who bears their strength & serves to clear the way, metaphorically. Tends to come with transformations, changes, costs in other forms, far more direct, and doesn't necessarily have (or rarely has) a direct line to the power. Practice includes ambient effects on surroundings & altered consequences to their actions (ie. fights happen around them), balancing act to restrain this or release it without too much casualties. Harbingers are rarely inducted willingly, but rather forced to become a harbinger by intervention of powerful other, by family, or by accident."

Writing this up, I think I may be able to put it into words better than at the start: "This character archetype is about using power that is heavy: a heavy price for a heavy effect. What I like, is when they pay the price, over and over, using the power despite the cost." I love the atmosphere it creates, of barely restrained aggression just under the surface, of the fear it creates in others, and the volatile release when the fight finally erupts.

(Looking back, there are a couple fanfics that managed to get somewhat close. Here's a short list:

[Naruto] Red Eyes in the Dark

[Harry Potter] Antithesis

[Naruto] Introverted)

#pact web serial #pact dice #naruto #kyuubi

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demonac · 1 year

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Hey, so there's some crap going on about D&D and the OGL scandal.

If you have not been following along, the OGL (Open Gaming License) is a legal thing where, about 20 years ago, WotC (the company who owns Dungeons and Dragons, now a subsidiary of Hasbro) promised that anyone could use a bunch of their content (spells, classes, etc), by adhering to some pretty basic, loose terms, and nobody would come after you for calling that content "D&D" whatever [gross oversimplification].

Well now, Hasbro/WotC feels D&D is "undermonetized" (according to their CEO who doesn't know or care about RPGs, and their head of digital, who IS a gamer, but doesn't play TTRPGs and wants to make D&D more like the various video games he's worked on), SO they are trying to "de-authorize" the old OGL and replace it with a new one that takes away all the security 3rd party creators thought they had, and gives WotC powers to cancel content... mostly so they can kill off other virtual tabletops (like Fantasy Grounds, roll20, etc) and charge big monthly fees/microtransactions for their new admittedly cool-looking service.

Anyhow, a lot of people argue that even the old (non-trash) OGL wasn't really necessary for 99% of creators between Free-Use and the fact that you can't copyright game rules, and even with their army of lawyers, they might not win court cases trying to go after content created before the new evil license goes live, but with big corporations and algorithmic enforcement, I don't trust that being right is a good enough defense (and you'd be a FOOL to trust them when they promise "we won't go after X and Y" after they tried to pull this crap in the first place).

Will this affect TDDC? Probably not - in fact, I never claimed to be using the OGL for any of my stuff, even if its existence was a comforting indication of what USED to be WotC's philosophy. But since I happen to be starting a whole new series right at this moment, this is the time to strip out mentions of WotC's copyrighted names, just in case. I was actually already leaning that direction for Warforged (calling them Mechs/Mechanicals) and Dragonborn (Drakks), but I'm going to go a step further, and get strict about not using those terms, nor the name "Dungeons and Dragons/D&D". So when I use the initials TDDC going forward, I'm referring to "Tales From Demonac's Deathfin Campaign". But the official title in the videos (and when I say those dreaded words: "Next Time") it's going to be Tales From My RPG Campaign". Hopefully the change won't be too annoying, trust me, it bothers me much more to stop saying Kua-Toa/KTs (too similar to Kuo-Toa, which IS one of the "product identity" terms they have identified and guard jealously). It's easy to refer to them as Deluvians and Illud most of the time, though I'm still waffling on what term (if any, but there sure OUGHT to be one) to use for their shared heritage. I'd go Children of Baal, but that makes the Sons of Baal monitors really sound like dumbasses...

Anyway, that's the update; I'm still working on the first episode of SoS (and despite my "tight 15 minute" guideline, it's probably going to be closer to 20min); I hope to get some little music reveal videos for the PCs in collaboration with my music person, Cool Boy Shane, so stay tuned for those.

If you're one of my Patrons, though, I posted the cold open - the first few seconds of Sea of Secrets, to grab viewers' attention, so you can check it out here. It will answer ZERO of your questions: https://www.patreon.com/posts/77653972

#TDDC #D&D #dungeons and drag gang #OGL #opendnd #SeaOfSecrets

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kelmcdonald · 1 year

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How is it already April?

crossposted from my newsletter.

Thanks to everyone who came to Emerald City and stopped by! While I did recover from my sinus infection before going, my throat/voice didn't come back until like a week or 2 ago.

This month I'm redoing the Fame and Misfortune live reading. If you don't remember, when I did it in February my mic was broken. I have a new mic! So take two of the live reading is happening! Tune into my twitch on April 22nd at noon PST.

This month is also the release month of The Lizard Prince and Other South American Stories. This is the last Cautionary Fables and Fairytales volume. Iron Circus told me they will get the warehouse at the end of the month. Then it can start going out to backers and stores!

Also, I want to give a shout out to my pal Matt Wilson's Zoop campaign, Imposter Syndicate. It's about folks who are hired to take over supervillian mantles after a supervillian dies or goes to jail. It has 11 days left to fund.

Also this month's full moon movie is The Wolf Man, the one for the 40s. If you'd like to join we'll be watching it on April 6th at 4pm PST. Just click here to join the discord.

As always I'll be streaming art on Twitch. My schedule is currently the following:

Tuesday 8pm-10pm PST

Wednesday 8pm-10pm PST

Thursday 6pm-9pm PST (during the Iron Circus Geekshow)

March kicked my ass. Between Emerald City and being sick, I had a lot to catch up on. Both from Seven Seas, Iron Circus, and my comics all had a stack of work to finish up. Honestly, I'm kinda depressed about the fact that I still haven't been able to finish Blue Moon. While Spike is understanding about the delays (given that organizing crowdfunds for her is part of the delay), I'm frustrated at the lack of progress.

I'm also kinda frustrated with my art lately. Last month I mentioned I might have to put You are the Chosen One on hiatus after the current chapter, but I think I might switch to every other week. It's only way I'm gonna have time to push myself on it the way I want. Regardless, I'd rather wait for Chapter 3 to wrap up before making that schedule change. Until then. I'll just be tired I guess.

But because I don't know any better, I started learning Japanese from Duolingo and Rosetta Stone. I appreciate that they are small enough lessons that I can do them little bit by little bit. Anyway, while working this is what I've been watching and reading:

History of the World Part 2 - I basically grew up on Mel Brooks movies. I've seen all his movies before graduating high school. So when Hulu said it was making a History of the World Part 2 series, I had to watch it. I didn't quite know what to expect, but had to check it out. Like many sketch shows, the sketches are hit or miss. But when it's funny it's REALLY funny. Johny Knoxvill plays Rasputin in a jackass parody that shows all the way Rasputin is killed and it's so much funnier than it has any right to be. It's definitely worth a watch if you like Mel Brooks.

Palm Springs - This is another comedy where I didn't know what to expect. Groundhog Day but starring Andy Samberg didn't strike me as super original but the trailer looked funny, so I put it on while drawing. It was not only funny but much more heartfelt than I expected. Andy Samberg's characters starts the movie as having already been in the time loop for a long time. He has to relive a wedding he's a guest at over and over. The movies starts when the sister of the bride gets trapped in the timeloop with him. Having two people in the time loop gives it more interesting dynamic than the usual timeloop story. Both characters' different approach to the timeloop adds push and pull to the relationship. And it is just really funny.

Tár - Right before Emerald City Comic Con a youtuber I like, Maggie Mae Fish, made a video about this movie. And how it examines how people abuse power. The basic summary of the movie is Tár is a conductor at the top of her field and she keep abusing her power, mostly to sleep with/date/groom young attractive women that work for her. It's an interesting movie because if it was about a man it would be a cliche. But because Tár is a woman, the movie can focus on the details and specifics of her abuse of power. There is a lot of attention to detail that helps the movie work on another level. I think if I say anything more, then I'd end up getting into spoilers/would basically be writing an essay about it.

Wolf Pack - I thought this was a sequel to MTV's Teen Wolf. And it is not. It has the same show runner and effects team, so it LOOKS like it should be connected to Teen Wolf, but instead it's much more serious. Which is kinda a shame. The show is kinda stiff in its seriousness. There are interesting bits here and there, like all the werewolves only get one werewolf power unless they are all together. But in its attempt to be series, it also tries to throw in one too many twists and then ends the show by taking a sharp turn into ableist messaging.

Witch Hat Atelier Volume 1 by Kamome Shirahama - Last month I mentioned I've been listening to the podcast Mangasplaining. This and the next pick are the first of what will probably be several manga I check out based on that podcast. I had been recommended Witch Hat Atelier before and just put it off because time. Mangasplaining reviewing it was the final push I needed. They basically mentioned that magic in this series is 100% a metaphor for art. And appropriately, the art is just so beautiful that it's inspiring. I think it and Ghost Cage were part of what made me think I need to take the time to level up my art.

Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui - This series I read a bunch of before the pandemic and then the library stopped being up to date on it/interrupted me checking em out regularly. If you aren't familiar, it's about dnd style adventurers exploring a dungeon and experimenting with cooking the monsters they kill (so they don't have to go back for supplies). It's almost over so I went and grabbed the books I hadn't read yet (like 5 I think). This one is really cute and I've liked how the plot has developed from the original premise to something with more complicated.

Ghost Cage by Nick Dragotta and Caleb Goellner - I picked this up because I know both Nick and Caleb. They had the first few issues at SDCC and I made a note to grab the trade when it's out. The premiss is this little robot guy has to fight personifications of what humans use for power (above is Fossil Fuel). The art is the real star of the show. It looks cool as hell and it is the star of the show. The paneling is really rad and interesting. Like I said with Witch Hat Atelier, it left me inspired to try and up my art.

Backpacking through Bedlam (Book 12 in Incryptid series) by Seanan McGuire - The Incryptid series is about a family of Cryptozoologists. This books picks up right after a semi cliffhanger from the last book. It's kinda hard to talk about it on its own. I liked it but I kinda wish it and the book right before it were one book.

That's everything I've been from me this month. I hope I can get a little more time to focus on stuff.

#newsletter #kelmcdonald #comics #werewolves #twitch #the city between #you are the chosen one #witch hat atelier #nick dragotta #ghost cage #tar #history of the world part 2 #palm springs #delicious in dungeon

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marblemoovt · 1 year

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Ok I'm attempting to make an AU for Berserk based on the idea of Guts and Casca switching roles in the Eclipse (no need to say what we all know there) and instead of the quest being for revenge as Guts does cannonly at first, Casca makes the quest to look for a cure for Guts' mental state, which is that of a child.

Any suggestions really for any key events and such?

Oooh that sounds like a cool premise. I'm not super familiar with what happens after the eclipse as I only watched the anime and have not read the manga. I did look up some stuff on the wiki so I know small bits and pieces of what happens after, but not enough to confidently write anything remotely canon about it.

But here are some of my thoughts about such an AU.

This is all under the assumption that Guts is assaulted instead of Casca. I'm not sure if that's what you meant but that's what I understood from it. Does this have any effect on the child she's carrying? Guts being assaulted implies that the child remains untainted.

Casca still definitely retains some sort of trauma from that. She was betrayed by the man she used to idolize and love, so there's no way she came out of that completely unscathed. She also essentially was starting to move on from him, and her decision to be with Guts is partially the reason Griffith does what he does at the eclipse. So I feel like she might harbour a guilty conscience as a result. Definitely lots of survivor's guilt because many sacrificed themselves to keep her alive and she wasn't able to protect the one person that mattered the most. I think it would be interesting to show how Casca struggles with the after-effects and what she does to deal with them. Ideally, she'll come to terms with it at the end and find peace.

It's really interesting to think about Guts being the one to regress to a child-like mental state. He's a big guy, so how does Casca get him to move around? When they're in a dangerous situation, she can't exactly pick him up and run away. And while I think she's very capable with a sword, I don't believe she would be able to cut down monsters like Guts could. With both of them branded, she has to keep him safe. In canon, I'm not sure how Guts meets his companions after the eclipse, but maybe that can be the answer to how Casca is able to keep him safe in this AU.

Which reminds me. I think Guts leaves Casca alone with someone he trusts for like a year or two while he goes on his revenge campaign??? I don't remember but something like that happens I think. So one important decision would be this: Does Casca leave Guts with someone or does she take him with her? Because as per the previous paragraph, I don't think it's possible for her to protect them by herself, especially since she's carrying a child. The choice that makes the most sense to me is that she takes him with her, but is accompanied by a few other people. Logically as the months pass, Casca will become more and more pregnant. This is assuming she doesn't give birth prematurely. And I've never been pregnant, but I don't think any pregnant ladies could swing a sword or run around enough to avoid enemies.

Another important fact to consider is what triggers Guts? For Casca, it resurfaces when Guts assaults her and begins to touch her sexually. But what about in this AU? Seeing Casca? Their child? However, given the nature of Guts' childhood, it's possible that this only enhances the trauma from the eclipse, i.e. being touched sexually without consent. You could play with the idea that not only was the eclipse traumatizing, but the fact that he's regressed to a child-like mental state also leaves him vulnerable to the terrible things that happened to him when he was a kid.

I'm not sure if you plan to do anything with Griffith, like if he gets reborn and whatnot. Because a lot of that will change depending on whether the child is tainted or not. Yes, Griffith would most likely be reborn anyway, but without the influence of the child, his behaviour would deviate from the manga.

Honestly, there are just so many events to think about if you intend to go over everything. But if you were planning to only focus on Casca finding a cure and having them live happily ever after, then here are some key event suggestions.

There needs to be some sort of conflict. Something has to get in the way between Casca and the cure. There can be multiple, but there has to be a main one and it should be the most difficult.

How does she overcome this conflict? And how does this change herself and everything around her? There should be some sort of character development that occurs as a result of overcoming this giant hurdle in her life.

At any point do either of their traumas resurface? Why and what for? What purpose does it serve to have them relive these experiences?

How do Guts and Casca meet their travelling companions? I think this one is pretty important because I don't believe Casca will be able to achieve her quest alone. She definitely needs help, maybe she also needs to learn how to ask for/accept it?

I think a really sweet moment would be for Guts to validate everything Casca has done up to that point when his mental state heals. How she did a good job. How she did her best. How she's a good mom, etc.

But that also brings up the question of recovery time. How long does it take Guts to recover once his memories are back? Will he be able to look at Casca without losing himself to flashbacks of the eclipse? Or will this take time?

What about Casca? Will she be afraid of getting too close to him in fear or bringing up bad memories? Will she worry about what he'll think of their child? How they can be parents. Basically the issue of what now? Do you want to tie things off or do you want to bring up a new problem they didn't realize until now?

Ideally, Griffith gets his ass kicked at some point, but you could just ignore him.

#marbleasks #I wrote this essay instead of my school report #But I love discussing AUs #Huzzah for creating fanon when you're not happy with the canon.#Off to write 800 words of self reflection #aka 800 words of bs

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animefreak1145 · 3 years

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The Brilliance of Break On Through

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Mission Break on Through—An Analysis

I have replayed the campaign of COD:BOCW numerous times—too many times truly. Did a whole playthrough where it was Hardened and soon I’m sure I shall do Veteran(something I have never done for any COD game. Not even Hardened.).

All missions have their own unique qualities—parts where the player gets a little rush of adrenaline depending on the kind of mission and how they choose to play it (Nowhere Left to Run just a plain shooting match while Brick in the Wall you can choose to remain stealthy like the good spy you are or go crazy like an eager homicidal maniac).

Even within the safehouse, there are plenty of little details to discover if you take the time to look around and observe everyone. Or, everything. (The radio if turned to a Russian station/correspondence, Adler changes it back immediately before Da Nang mission. Watching Park’s body language, as you talk to Adler and she periodically looks over to you two. Adler suspicious when you go to the Red Room or the locked room with the arcade. The T.V. being turned on in the Red Room)

But the amount of details, details, in the mission Break on Through is outstanding. I have played this mission more than any other due to me wishing to look at all the details. There’s so many, I think I may miss some. And I can’t show them off all to you cause I suck at creating gifs and don’t know how to transfer that from Xbox to my phone.

To lighten it up a bit, I won’t focus on the four different scenarios you go through—at least not each one. That would take too long and I do not have gifs/pics to show it off since Tumblr limits it to ten anyways.

I will, however, try to guide to what parts of the game you all can explore if you choose to do so. As well just how detailed they did this mission.

I am going to start with the different statements Adler says to you throughout all the Scenarios(17, 6, 11, 1). We only go through four in the actual game—but the fact it goes up to 17 or possibly more shows just how far they went in and messed with Bell’s mind.

Now, Adler seems to be a bit bipolar on how he talks to you whether or not you listen to him and all his directions. Either totally blasé and cold to giving you and pumping you up with more MK or meds, or actually a tad concerned and patient as he guides you through.

If You/Bell Stands Still/Does Nothing:

Example 1

“So you did nothing? What were you, in shock?”

He throws the words callously, mocking. As if Bell isn’t confused and lost at what is going on. He even sounds irritated that you might actually be in shock due to these memories that are just fake—not even real. Not like what he has.

Example 2

“What’s wrong with Bell?” -Adler

“I’m not sure. . .” -Park

“I guess we’ll just wait on you to proceed, Bell.”

The contrast is dizzying. He sounds concerned when he asks Park on what could be wrong with you. If he pushed you too far and now you’re just frozen. And, instead of rushing you due to how the fate of half of Europe is at stake, he decides to give you space. Just wait for you and you’ll come out of it soon enough.

He does these sort of reactions numerous times. Jumping from intimidating to the Adler we knew as the player, as Bell—kind and always in your corner that believes in you. He switches tactics based on what he believes will work really—or he just felt really on edge at times and threw the farce that you two were friends out the window.

Other examples include:

Scenario 11–Napalm Strike-in the lab in the room where you were brainwashed

“Christ, what’s happening with them?”-Adler

“A mild seizure. Sims, past me a benzodiazepine.” -Park

Again, concerned. Worried. Almost…at unease?

In the lab—tripped up on drugs. If you run through the tight shrinking hallway back and forth like so(I suck at making gifs, I’m sorry):

“Why is Bell repeating themselves?”

“Bell, stop speaking in circles.”

Now, as others may have suspected, Bell is talking to everyone as they’re stuck in this horrible loop of mental torture. Most likely muttering, hands clenching and arms pulling against the straps of the gurney, moving their head back and forth depending on what they’re seeing. I always saw Bell as muttering quickly in Russian as they go through all of this—their mother tongue where it may comfort them as they’re panicking and speaking to Adler.

It’s just a nice detail showcasing how exactly Adler knows that Bell is on script—Bell saying what they’re seeing and doing and what’s going on. It shows also just how hard they put Bell through the ringer(badum tss. I’ll leave now).

All the details too when the game shows how the drugs they put in Bell affects you. Like so. The hallways appearing long. The lights looking yellow. You feel so fast—look how quick you can run. Run towards the Red Door that Adler so desperately wants and maybe this can stop. Ah, why is it running away from you? What’s going on?

I don’t know about you, but I was so lost and confused at what was going on my first playthrough. For the majority of this mission, the possibility of me being brainwashed didn’t reach the BACK of my mind till probably I actually saw the flashes of scenes about Vietnam and calling Bell a subject. So like right here.

I personally thought that I had a repressed memory or something due to me going through the Vietnam War. That whatever I saw with Perseus, I—or rather Bell—repressed it from our mind due to how violent or horrible what we saw or experienced was. And that Adler suspected and just really wanted to know about it.

I didn’t expect for the man to actually brainwash my character—us—Bell! The game made Adler your mentor, who always defended you from Hudson and believed in your skills very highly. How he and Bell were basically perfect partners when the two of you were together.

It’s amazing—cause I think that’s what the developers were going for. The absolute trust. The loyalty. The denial that ‘maybe Adler is being a little harsh but hey, this is to help Perseus so it’s okay?’ It’s perfect. Because I’m sure that is what Bell actually felt in real time.

Yet, if you go through the total rebellious choice of not listening to Adler, some thing’s make sense. The Rebellious Side shows you way more than if you just listen to Adler like a Dutiful Soldier.

You go through this room if you choose the rebellious route, the T.V.’s automatically turning on the closer you get. Of Vietnam. And now, all those T.V.‘s that turned on by themselves(the Red Room, Lubyanka, Cuba) make sense. You were actually being brainwashed. Poor Bell probably can’t ever have a turned off/broken T.V. again. The trauma.

Said trauma being shown multiple times too. Not just the T.V.‘s. But the absolute terror that Bell felt, before they became Bell, with Adler.

Like do you see this? This terrified me when I saw it at the end of the hallway. I just saw a red shadow in the distance and I legit thought I was about to be chased. Call of Duty became a horror game(I also went through the door to the ground too my first playthrough, so before this I went through zombies and I think my heart was going to jump out my chest) I thought. I didn’t want to get closer. I had to, with each step I see that it’s not a shadow but a body. And than I see the familiar jacket, the sound of whirring in my ears and see it’s Adler’s head being twisted back and forth, side to side, up and down, in a speed that in inhumanely possible.

Makes one wonder if Bell themselves sees Adler as inhumane. Not human. Adler seeming to just be a god in their head. All the Adler shaped rocks/boulders you go through and see. Even one point the V.C. becoming Adler and you killing him over and over and dead bodies of Adler being everywhere.

The man has entered Bell’s head and won’t leave. Just like Adler won’t leave Bell alone.

Heck, there’s one point in my playthroughs of this mission I was by the bridge yet there were parts of the lab by it. I jumped towards it, noticing down below there were different floors of the lab that eventually reach the ground. I jumped to reach the next floor and missed and I died.

And Adler mocked Bell committing suicide.

That was the kicker really that Adler truly is indifferent towards Bell. Like complete disregard. I know it’s fake. We know it’s fake. Adler knows it’s fake—but to Bell, it felt real. That’s the crazy part. All of this—this whole sequence feels real to Bell so each time they die they actually feel it. It’s insane. It’s cruel.

But we all know that Adler isn’t known for his kindness. Still like his character though, he’s layered.

I don’t have the exact quote he said, didn’t wrote it down like the others. I was shook he said it at all.

Moving on to the final details I’m going to talk about.

When you go through the room, I believe this comes out for both rebellious and dutiful, really depends. You see it filled with post it notes, articles, plans, and newspapers. And you see once more just how Bell has been scarred.

I don’t know Russian or German, but I imagine the notes are similar to what the English one’s say. If I’m wrong, please point it out.

There’s also post it notes which I believe is in code as well due to all the numbers—I’m not sure what those could mean since I am no decoding expert.

Poor poor Bell. And with all these pictures and plans—of Adler included—it begs the question that Bell may have been warned about the famous America’s Monster beforehand. Had to have—since Adler is basically Perseus’s adversary due to how stubborn the American man could be. It just adds more to the story, despite Cold War having quite a short campaign, they made it up somewhat with all these details everywhere.

When you finally and actually reach the room.

As you grow closer to the table, to your chair in the conference room while everyone else seems to have their own spots, there’s something I noticed.

There’s glasses. As well as a hat. And it’s Bell’s. Or at least, it used to be. Why else is it on their side of the table? By their chair? I believe it might be reading glasses due to all the decryptions Bell does, whether on paper or through a computer, it’s hard on the eyes. (I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed this. For look at @second-vtoroy ‘s Bell)

I believe through the brainwashing, Bell might not need glasses anymore. After all, apparently they were a smoker like Adler before too but they took that out of you. What else they changed of Bell? It makes one wonder how far they truly went into molding a person.

Which just adds onto how mind boggling this mission is—this game is. This is my favorite COD game, despite how short it is. The details and choices and interactions with everyone and able to create your own character(albeit it’s very standard and not specific but it’s good enough for me) is AMAZING. I’ve always been a sucker for RPG’s and able to get that even a little in a COD game? Truly wonderful.

I couldn’t touch on everything because it would’ve gotten long, but the fun of the Break on Through mission never gets old. It’s genius multiple ways you can do it. All the details. The feelings you feel as a player as you go through it.

They truly did a unique job with this and I hope they continue with this type of game storytelling. Hopefully longer as well.

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this rant basically!

Gifs made by me and used the video down below to help.

https://youtu.be/t6QkmkGGHSQ

youtube

#russell adler #call of duty #cod #black ops cold war #call of duty cold war #cod cold war #cod bell #cod analysis #cod:bocw #call of duty analysis #bell call of duty #Adler and Bell #Cold War

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esamastation · 3 years

Note

Cody kind of finds out that Obi-wan is touch-starved and gets creative to find reasons to lean against/hug the man. Once that gets familiar, they just start to slide into a relationship

Cody doesn't really think anything about the first time it happens.

It's been a long day and they're all tired, even the General who can usually keep going on trice as long as anyone else is sagging where he's sitting. Cody had gone to him to pass the freshly tallied inventory, how much ammunition and equipment they had left, how many weapons, how much food.

They'd been in a canyon then, the space was limited – the AT-TE took most of it. So they'd been crowded around the edges of the canyon, taking cover under and behind any rocky formation they could. To keep their discussion somewhat private among the troopers, Cody had been standing closer to the General than usual, right next to him, all but leaning over him as the General sat on a rock and perused the datapad. And as they talked the General had begun to… very slowly, very subtly…

…lean against Cody's thigh.

Cody chalked it up as the General being exhausted, which was proven correct by the fact that the man later went to sleep without his customary meditation. He didn't think much of it after that – even if the weight against his plastoid armour had been a strangely pleasant one at the time and Cody had very vehemently not minded it.

But then, some days later, it happens again. Not precisely that exact thing, but something similar. It's after a skirmish in the canyons – they've won a little more ground and set up a secure perimeter, and they're having a meal. There are no tables, no chairs, so the men are scattered around sitting on rocks, and so is General Kenobi too – and so is Cody. They're sharing the same rock, even – which is a weird sort of humble honour, all things considered. His rank as Marshal Commander earns him the right to share a rock with their General. Now that's privilege.

Cody had been wondering if he should share the thought, not entirely sure why he finds it amusing, when behind him General Kenobi shifts a little, trying to find a better purchase on their privileged rock. There's a clack of armour against armour, as their backs touch, and it brings Cody out of his thoughts.

"Well," General Kenobi says. "Here's to the nobility of war."

"Sir?" Cody asks, tilting his head to look at him over his shoulder.

The General hums with wry amusement. "I was just thinking of all those advertisements we did, about what honour it is to serve the republic, about the great duty we were embarking upon, how glorious. Here we are, all sharing rocks," he chuckles and glances at Cody in turn. "Truly, we have attained greatness here."

Cody snorts, not sure if he gets the joke or not. "I was just thinking something like that, sir," he admits. "About how rank allows us a shared rock. What a privilege it is."

Kenobi snorts into his rations. "It has indeed been a privilege to share a rock with you, Commander."

Stars, they're probably both sleep deprived, Cody thinks with rueful amusement, and then he notices it – the weight pressing against his back plate. Kenobi is leaning against him, just a little.

Once it's a chance, twice…

Hm.

Cody tests it, a day or so later. They're trenched in the canyons now, setting up a line – and it looks terribly like they'll be stuck there until air support could get to them. While the troopers set up defences, Cody talks tactics with the General and stands a little closer than necessary to him, offering without words his side to the man. And again, eventually, Kenobi ends up just barely leaning towards him.

It's a weird sort of thrill, to have noticed it and now that he has, Cody can't help but test it. he thinks of all the times he'd had to physically catch the Generals attention, to draw him away from whatever he was feeling with the Force, thinking of how he reacted every time…

Cody spots the General, sitting near a set of ladders set to the canyon walls, and walks over to him – careful to make his approach quiet and unnoticeable, though not obviously so. Used to men moving all around him, General Kenobi doesn't look up, keeping his eyes on the datapad. Cody could call for his attention verbally but…

He puts his hand on the General's shoulder instead, applying enough weight for it to be felt through the armour – and then he watches as an immediate reaction runs through the man. He sits up straighter, his shoulder pushing against Cody's hand, and tenses completely, and then relaxes immediately after. "Cody," he says, turning.

"Looks like there will be a sand storm, sir," Cody says, his mouth suddenly, confusingly dry. "You should get to a tent."

"Ah," the General says, blinking. "Yes, of course – thank you, commander."

There is no stopping it afterwards – Cody has caught a glimpse of something in the General now, and he wants to see it more. So, he… pushes on.

In the following days he gets the General to lean against his side on four different occasions. He sees the stop, tense, relax reaction twice, once when he touches the man's shoulder again, once when he puts a hand on the man's back. The greatest reaction he gets is when his hand slips from the plastoid gauntlet to grip on the General's elbow instead, gloved fingers slipping where the armour doesn't cover. He can feel the bones of the General's elbow through his gloves and through the man's clothing, and then he notices the reaction.

The General swallows, blinking, staring at nothing for a moment – it takes him a moment to catch himself, but the break in his usual character is so obvious that Cody's heart begins to pound. For a moment, the General was held, utterly stalled, by Cody's fingers on his elbow.

Then the moment is over and they're planning on where to put the guns.

There's no stopping it afterwards – Cody couldn't have stopped if he wanted to, and he doesn't particularly want to. It's – he's flirting with the regs, he knows that, this sort of thing could get him reprimanded or demoted or worse – but Kenobi never makes any motion or allusion to any of the sort. Cody isn't sure the man has even noticed. So, Cody pushes on.

He takes every opportunity, every bit of privacy, to touch. He's careful about it, he's neither stupid nor willing to put his own or the General's reputation on the line. But behind cover, in the man's tent, at meal times… he will find some excuse to touch. Hand on shoulder, tap on arm, shoulder pressed against shoulder as they sit side by side to share a meal – he gets creative when he has to. Once, he gets his boot to rest against Kenobi's for nearly half an hour, and he's absolutely certain Kenobi feels it.

Something changes somewhere along the way. Kenobi's reaction never stops being gratifying in a weirdly heartbreaking way, but eventually he stops being surprised by it. At first Cody is worried the man noticed, that he's – aware of what Cody is doing. But there's no words, no reprimand, Kenobi doesn't so much as give him a knowing look. But somewhere along the way, he stops being surprised.

He gets used to it. Cody thinks he might even on some subconscious level start expecting it. Every time Cody gets close enough to touch, Kenobi expects him to. And so Cody does, with increasing thrill and something like hope, that maybe, maybe something impossible might be possible and then…

Then their campaign in the canyons end. The planet is theirs, the Separatists surrender it to their rule, and the 212th is recalled to space. And along with the crowded canyons and sand storms and convenient moments in privacy… go with all the excuses to get too close.

Cody tries not to be disappointed, tries not to regret it. The whole campaign had been a dredge from start to finish and he's by far not the only one looking forward to regular chances to use freshers and cleaners. But he's disappointed anyway.

He swallows it and goes back to work, filling in requisition forms by the dozen to replenish the gear they lost, the ammunition they spent – the men they lost.

"Ah, there you are," Kenobi says, seeing him in one of the offices. "No, don't get up," he waves as Cody moves to stand to greet him. "Stars know we've all earned the right to use chairs for once. Are you done with requisitions?"

"Almost, sir," Cody agrees, resting his elbow on the backrest of the chair to look at him. "Do you have any additions?"

"Some, yes," Kenobi says and comes to his side, to his personal space, pressing against his back. "Can I see?"

"Of course, sir," Cody says, even as his body feels like it's suddenly been dunked into a hot pool of water, and lifts the datapad for the General to look. Kenobi leans over his shoulder a little, reaching one hand to flick through the forms.

His other hand finds itself on Cody's shoulder, resting on his pauldron, pressing down.

For a moment Cody just sits there, frozen, holding the data pad and barely breathing.

And then he forces himself to relax and very carefully, very subtly, and lets himself lean back against the man. It feels like connecting a broken wire, restarting a stalled engine, and Cody thinks that's it and is more than satisfied by that. Maybe, even outside the trenches, they can have… something he doesn't dare to name, and but leans towards anyway. It would need to be careful, a thing of stolen moments with no shared words, but maybe it could happen, maybe he wouldn't get into trouble for wanting it, maybe…

"What do you say to more air support?" Kenobi says. "As much as I enjoyed the canyons, I would rather not get our men trenched so easily again."

"I wouldn't say no," Cody says. "But I think it might be a little too much to hope, sir. Ours is an Attack Battalion, after all. We're made for ground assaults."

The General sighs and leans back a little, thinking. "That is true, I suppose. One can hope, though, no?"

Then Kenobi's bare fingers wander over his pauldron to his neck, and to bare skin, to simply rest there, his thumb brushing against the closely cropped hairline, and Cody thinks he might be in trouble after all.

#fanfiction #star wars #codywan #commander cody #obi wan kenobi

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thechekhov · 3 years

Note

Any opinions on the idea of a "universal language" one that simplified and designed for mass global communication? Are there any languages that you think would be good for this? or do you think one would need to be tailor made?

Oh boi.

I’m not sure I’m ready for this can of worms to be opened, but I suppose in order to keep some level of intrigue, let’s crack it a bit and peek inside.

The short answer is: No. I don’t think a Universal language is possible on the scale that everyone dreams of.

People have tried, and although we have discovered that we are relatively good at inventing languages, getting people to use them, and use them in the way that WE want, is nigh on impossible. You think herding cats is hard? Try telling humans how to say words.

The long answer is:

Over the past 900 years, over 900 languages have been invented (source). Many of them have been invented with the explicit purpose of being a ‘universal’ language.

Thus far, none of them have succeeded.

I think if you’re ready to delve into this full throttle, my first recommendation would be a book called In The Land of Invented Languages by Arika Okrent. It goes into detail about how, why, and what languages humans have invented since.. well... forever. It also details what happens when we get close to succeeding in a Universal Language - and why we fail anyway.

One of the most obvious examples of this is, perhaps, Esperanto.

If you don’t know what Esperanto is, here’s a wiki link. The gist is that in 1887, a Polish eye doctor with big dreams of creating a universal second language which would be less convoluted than English and French, easy to learn, and easy to speak. His hope was that it would bridge the barriers between other languages, make something that would be capable of crossing cultural barriers. Perhaps world peace was in there, somewhere.

Here’s a sample for those interested:

And by all accounts, Esperanto has since then, grown into one of the most well-known constructed languages in the world! You can learn it online, they have annual conferences, and there have been parents who have taught their children Esperanto as a first language in an attempt to make it their native language!

However, despite its incredible success, Esperanto has not become a Universal Language in its 100 years of existence. Why?

Well, let’s go over some issues:

1) Despite the fact that it is advertised as a language that is ‘easy for anyone to learn’, it is still, at its core, a European language.

Esperanto draws heavily from Romance languages such as Spanish and French, has some features of Germanic languages (English and German) and minor contributions from Slavic and Greek. It uses the latin alphabet, which may seem pretty neutral.... if that’s your alphabet to begin with.

If your first language is not close to any of the above, Esperanto will be harder for you to learn. Its ‘universality’ is approximately what you would expect - not accounting for much of the world outside of the western one.

In fact, creating a truly ‘balanced’ language would be incredibly difficult because all the languages of the world ARE so varied. They all have their own grammar and rules, and these rules exist on a circular spectrum. There is no ‘middle ground’, and regardless of what you choose to make it, your language will be similar to one system or another, and it will inevitably be difficult for some people to learn.

2) A Universal Language must remain universally constant, but languages, inherently, change. What happens when Esperanto speakers start to develop dialects?

In fact, this has already happened to some degree. Due to Esperanto’s popularity, annual conferences are often filled with people from all over the world who converge only once a year after having spoken Esperanto with their own Esperanto community for the over 364 days.

What happens? They start to disagree and develop their own way of saying things, shortening words, adjusting grammar... you know, the stuff that MOST humans do with their own language.

We LOVE to have our own stuff. And as language is socially negotiated, every community of Esperanto speakers will come up with different solutions to the same problems. (See English speakers and their various way to specify a plural ‘you’ - ‘y’all’, ‘y’alls’, ‘yous’, ‘you guys’) What happens then is a natural evolution of Esperanto .... into different types of Esperanto.

Which - not bad, necessarily, but it is perhaps the opposite of what one might imagine for a single ‘Universal’ language.

3) You can lead a human to a language, but you cannot make them speak.

At its core, a Lingua Franca - a universal language - has to be something we CHOOSE to use universally.

Currently, the closest thing we have is English, because English is already THERE for many of us. It’s omnipresent even in countries where its got no reason being.

If every one of your friends is already using the same messaging app, you probably won’t have much energy to campaign for a different, less known but far ‘more useful’ app. You’re going to go to the app store and download the app, even if it’s buggy and has an annoying interface. It’s already there.

Anyway... this is all to say - a Universal language is probably possible, but only in the loosest sense of the word.

Inevitably, we would probably need a Universal language FAMILY. One that is varied to suit needs of the speakers, but is still mutually intelligible in order to promote communication without falling into the colonialist ‘You MUST learn THIS language and you MUST speak THIS language!’.

And honestly, very personally speaking... I like learning more languages. But I would be pissed if I was forced to learn a Universal one without proper support and consideration to what my native tongue was.

#chekhov answers #Esperanto #linguistics #lingua franca #universal language

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theregoesmylurkerstatus · 3 years

Text

So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e141 #c2e140 #ramblings #long post #first time i've used that tag but i figure people should be able to block this if they want to!#molly #kingsley #trent ikithon #the mighty nein

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minisoc · 3 years

Text

As requested, line by line breakdown of testoster2's anti communist rant about parties.

> idk which baby leftist needs to hear this

off to a great condescending start from someone whose only left credit is claiming to be on the left on their Tumblr

> but joining a socialist party will be a waste of your time.

I couldn't imagine a more cop opinion to start us off with. i see things like this and i think: whose interests does this serve? "oh no baby leftists, don't join a party" just brings to mind this image

> you'll probably have to pay a monthly due

that's true. every communist party in history has taken dues from members. it's typically scaled to what you can manage though and it's part of the collective effort of the party organization to make social change. my dues sent comrades to Venezuela and Cuba to learn from socialists there, they produced our programs for free lunches, it built our community centers. i have no regrets about paying my dues, i pay dues to my union as well.

> that goes to like. flyers no one reads

projection. sounds now like op is defending their own lack of action with a lack of belief in the possibility of change. in my experience people do read things and even change their minds after reading things. if people were not able to be affected by the written word then propagandists on all sides would be in a tough situation.

> that you yourself will have to give to people

oh no, you mean joining a party means you might have to do outreach and talk to people? can see why it's not for op, then.

> (this in case the money doesn't go straight in the party leader's pocket).

op has never seen this but says it like it's a fact. it would be pretty easy to find out if your party leadership is embezzling and your party should be structured in a way that you know they'd be thrown out if they betrayed everyone like this. i have that confidence in my party, at least.

this is also very reminiscent about how anti communists engage with propaganda. they feel comfortable making claims of any kind whether supported or not. anyway, this is another obvious cop opinion.

> you'll waste time writing papers and reports and shit, it'll feel like having a second job.

not explained is why writing is a waste of time. i think writing for a party is almost always a useful activity, whether you're making plans for a new action or campaign or producing new agitational materials or analysing the results of previous work so you can improve on it.

it is a job, though. being a communist does mean doing work, society won't change by sitting at home and attacking communist parties on Tumblr. the lifelong sacrifices made by hard working communists are why we have seen so many socialist victories in the last century.

> the most exciting events will be lib shit like elections

this again can only be projection. the most exciting times for me have been in some of the countries largest protest actions, organizing campaigns to free political prisoners, providing at risk communities with basic needs and engaging with them, building new unions, etc. etc

> or peaceful protests that the party would still organize w/o you as a member

here's the key issue with op i think. they want to be vital to the revolution. they don't want to think that they're only one of many people all working together. yes it's true the party will continue without you, especially a wannabe cop like you. but it doesn't mean party work is useless, it just means you are useless as an individual.

> (showing up at a protest w/o having a party affiliation gives you more freedom

freedom to do what, i do wonder? being afraid of party work bc it doesn't let you do whatever you want is kinda silly, if you don't want anyone to ever tell you what to do then yeah don't join a party. if you want to make change in the world then do.

> + makes you a bit less arrestable - as opposed to if a cop saw you carrying a name tag w the hammer and sickle on it. just fyi)

this again appears to have been just made up by op. I've never been arrested for wearing a pin or a party tshirt. i don't know a single person who has. and I've known plenty of people without any markings get arrested.

> all this w/o even mentioning how (depending on your luck) there could be a lot of infighting, splits, sometimes purges

well yes it sounds like there would be a lot of drama wherever op goes but it doesn't seem to be the case generally. my party did form in a split, but over 15 years ago. i don't see any reason to worry that it would happen again any time soon. we don't infight at all, sorta the concept of the party is people who want to work effectively together.

another bit of funny evidence that op is anti communist is the inclusion of the word purges, lol. purge means expulsion from party, ooh very sinister.

> all in all, joining a socialist party is a very, Very ineffective way of building communism lmao

well first it's simply a truth that no socialist country was ever built without a communist party. not one.

but also, did any of ops points have anything to do with effectiveness? all i gathered is they're pushing an individualistic, don't tell me what to do outlook. and the condescension about protests and flyering suggest they want something more adventurist, possibly involving violence. remember the fbi and police always instigate when they infiltrate groups. they always push for criminal actions and violence.

> i'd instead recommend you talk to your neighbours abt their lives, and see how you can help each other.

hey, guess what a party does! do you think our new tenants unions and unemployed councils could come into being without talking to neighbors? do you think our new unions could come into being without discussing the way we could help each other?

> if you live in like a very rich neighbourhood or something, instead of joining a socialist party

well isn't this an interesting premise. i wonder what it says about op that they want to emphasize what the well off should do.

> it'd be way more effective if you joined a liberal/conservative party and then fucked their shit up as much as possible

sure, just see every other attempt in history at wrecking or entryism with the Democratic party. i encourage you to look into it

> if ur only goal is meeting other leftists, only go to the first 2 or 3 party meetings, by then you'll know the scene and you'd have already befriended the interesting people. that;s my advice at least

this piece of advice is generally good. in fact before applying to join any party if at all possible i encourage you to meet with the members local to you, see how they work, see what you think of their ideas and what they're doing. if they're not active in your community, ask why not. there's nothing requiring you to join if it isn't for you. but if you want to make change in this country, learning how to do it from those with experience is best. and working together in an organization that can effectively chart a path forward is the only option there is. every communist revolution was built with the leadership of the communist party.

#testoster2 #close reading #communist parties #socialism #us politics

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bakugouisabitch · 4 years

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What do you think Ryou's soul room looks like?

sorry for the late reply. I honestly had some things to do lately and I knew it would take me some time to reply to this, anyway

I’ve seen many posts speculating about Ryou’s soul room and from what they say overall they mostly see it as this room of a simple boy, ofc, but with some dark traces or secrets hidden away thanks to the influence of the ring (see here and there) - which is a very realistic way of seeing his soul room imo because no matter how many times they try to deny it (in canon itself) the spirit of the ring has 100% been a big influence in Ryou’s life . period. It left an impact, for sure, and naturally so, otherwise, it’s just sloppy characterisation which is a common bad habit with the Bakuras I noticed anyway I am digressing...

Drawing conclusions from the fanon’s pov, I also tried to analyse some of the canon content... In the anime we were blessed with that wonderful, good-quality animated episode 79 which is literally just a Bakura filler cause none of it is shown in in the manga and in that episode (if you watch the sub version cause it was cut out in the dub) we can see, before that moment where Malik and Yami Bakura are talking “inside Bakura’s host”, a transition that goes:

...from Ryou’s dreaming face -> to Domino City -> to outer space -> and then this:

I’m 99% sure this is the animators’ idea/theory of Ryou’s soul room - which looks very similar to Yugi’s in fact.

You can clearly notice that it starts with an “opening of doors” sequence, almost like we’re entering a room, and it ends with another set of opening doors as well in the same ancient style of Windows Moviemaker. What i guess we can decipher from that, is that Malik was looking around for Yami Bakura, entering Ryou’s soul room at first and then leaving it. The next “room” we see might even be Yami Bakura’s soul room - even if it looks just like a vast space/infinite sky.

Here we see Malik in the middle of this infinite space. The “opening of doors” that precedes this setting is a clear sign for me that we are NOT in Ryou’s soul room anymore here. Also cause Malik says:

“...found it.” So he was probably looking around for Yami Bakura’s soul room, proving in fact that he was in Ryou’s before that. We even see Yami Bakura “flying” and coming from somewhere else to reach Malik:

...so we can’t even imagine how big and vast and almost infinite Bakura’s soul room might be (the concept of it being infinite even makes sense when you think about how big/endless Atem’s soul room is - the labyrinth of stairs)

Yami Bakura’s first reaction to that is:

which proves to us even more that Malik really managed to enter their soul rooms in this scene. Also because it makes sense since he gained access with it through the Rod. I like the idea of Yami Bakura having to fly to talk with him because I think his soul room is so vast and has more to offer than anyone can imagine...

ANYWAY, sorry i am digressing again - we were talking about Ryou here:

Ryou’s soul room looks pretty similar to Yugi’s: a room full of scattered toys of their childhood. What is peculiar about Ryou’s is that, between all the toys of cars and Godzilla and a big ass soldier, we see what looks like some sort of Barbie dolls:

here is one, and another:

One could, of course, conclude from that that Ryou liked to play with Barbie dolls as a kid (which is fucking CUTE) BUT i have to say that seeing that second doll placed right next to a figurine of a plane with a broken wing kind of feels like... telling to me... I know these are all headcanons but what if these dolls are supposed to be Amane’s toys?

What we know about Amane - Bakura's deceased sister - is that she died at a young age, with her mother, in a car accident - so it’s no reach to think that this plane and the fact that it is broken might even suggest that some of these toys might have even belonged to Ryou’s little sister at the time of the tragic incident?? And he keeps them in his soul room as a memory of a past long gone in which they used to play together and he was more happy ofc and careless?? fucking tragic, i know.

So... what I’m gathering from that animation sequence is that the toys in Ryou’s soul room do NOT ONLY symbolise some sort of innocence in him - kind of like in Yugi’s case - but they give me more of a nostalgic meaning, because in fact if we have to point out the difference between his and Yugi’s childhood, in Ryou’s case it’s marked by memories of a past long gone, a state of being he never got to live again ever since the tragic event. But the fact that he keeps them in his soul room symbolise like a longing, imo, of that peaceful state of mind he used to know back then, only as a child. *cries*

So, in conclusion, if you want to hear my version of Ryou’s soul room it would in fact be very similar to what the animators did there: A scattered pile of toys and objects of his past, his innocence, and his nostalgia. More objects that allude to his sister cause let’s not forget he still writes letters to her in heaven like shown in the manga and his mother, and the natural grieving that comes with it. Plus, i would add some duel monster cards and most of all some figurines of his DnD campaigns, cause they left an impact on his life as well. I’d imagine most of them are placed neatly inside a glass case, like a proud collection, but the ones hidden in the back are stained with blood and have cracks on their surface - cause a big portion of traumatic events that happened in his life were, unfortunately, alluded to these DnD figurines.

Since we can also see walls in some depictions of these soul rooms (like in Anzu’s case we can see them belonging to a dance room), I like to imagine Ryou’s walls to be transparent, made of glass, and reflecting onto that vast sky-like place that seems to belong to Yami Bakura’s soul “room”. Cause as much as it might be painful for him, he is always fully exposed to the spirit. Whatever goes on inside his room, or his head, is for the spirit to see and control, whereas he still has no clue from where or what that spirit comes from - and it’s portrayed in that infinite space he can only gaze upon but never venture in. But I like to think, by the time the Millennium World arc took place, most of his DnD figurines were immersed in sand, and the vast space he gazed upon changed into that of an ancient village, wrecked and abandoned, but for Ryou finally clear to see.

sorry this got so long omg

#bakura #yami bakura #yugioh #yu-gi-oh #ryou bakura #marik ishtar #malik ishtar #ygo #ask #icouldbesus #ygo discourse #malik #tendershipping #cause yes sorry #ziggy talks #*

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ohmypreciousgirl · 4 years

Text

Xicheng Rec List

I compiled my favorite fics for @waterandsilver after they posted they were finally seeing the appeal of Xicheng. I volunteered to give them good fics to help them understand better the appeal of our ship! So, here we go!

Post-Canon Fics

A Bit of Ruthlessness 110,111 When Jiang Cheng hears that Lan Xichen went into seclusion following Jin Guangyao’s death, it’s almost as if he can see the grabby hands of a restless ghost, reaching out for something to keep him company. For something warm and living and devastated. And as history has proven time and time again, the Lans are perfect victims when it comes to giving in to ghosts.

Yeah, no. Not on Jiang Cheng’s fucking watch.

Moments of Clarity 5,201 Snapshots of Lan Huan's road to recovery with a helping hand from Sandu Shengshou. Companion piece from Jiang Cheng’s POV: A Present so Promising

Faith 8,109 [Part 1 of the The Provenance of Hope series] Lan Huan isn’t sure he’s ready for this. (or, Lan Huan and Jiang Cheng meet on a night hunt.)

Visiting Cloud Recesses 7,566 [Part 1 of the Visiting Cloud Recesses series] Since the sunshot campaign they haven't interacted a lot outside of sect business, but Jiang Cheng has always found the First Jade of Lan gracious and pleasant to be around. Especially in comparison to his younger brother, who would never smile at Jiang Cheng the way Lan Xichen is right now, as if he's genuinely happy to see him.

It's easier to let go (let me hold you) 24,464 Five times someone noticed something was wrong and the one time someone did something about it.

Carried on the wind 1,129 [Part 1 of the The courtship of Jiang Wanyin & Lan Xichen series] Lan Xichen’s voice is very soft when he says: “Today is the day our mother died.”

Overgrown 1,408 [Part 1 of the Coming home to you series] Jiang Cheng has better things to do than follow Lan Xichen around Lotus Pier, and yet here he is.

Regret 2,290 Lan Xichen is left standing in his garden, his garden of regret and shame and all the bad things Lan Xichen hates about himself, and suddenly he can’t stand it for one second longer.

A lovely name 3,146 [Part 1 of the Paws for thought series] Jiang Cheng doesn’t like the feeling of a curse sinking through his skin at the best of times, and now he’s a fucking cat, because Wei Wuxian thinks he’s hilarious. Well, he won’t find it so hilarious when Jiang Cheng changes back and breaks his legs.

Breaking Anew 20,389 There are different ways a person can break. It is a lesson Jiang Cheng will spend his life learning.

Under The Morning Sun 22,739 Jiang Cheng returns to Cloud Recesses to find peace and stability. Instead, he finds an unexpected romance with Lan Xichen. Sequel: Strength of Your Love

(nothing special) (something special) 4,950 Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen both have jagged edges. But perhaps their broken pieces can fit together into something new. Sequel: won't you say you love me later

Come to Decide 2,381 [Part 1 of the Little Talks series] “This is why I lose sleep over you,” Jiang Cheng murmured. “You might think I’m pining for your touch or your voice or your gaze, but no - I’m just worrying about you being an idiot.”

Don't stop being rude 2,582 “The Hanshi,” Lan Jingyi suddenly says, effectively jolting Jiang Cheng out of his thoughts, and bowing again.

“Please talk some sense into Zewu-Jun.”

“Oh, that I will,” Jiang Cheng promises and when a tiny spark of fear enters Lan Jingyi’s eyes, he gives him his sweetest smile before he walks off.

“Oh gods, what have I done,” he hears Lan Jingyi mutter behind him, but he doesn’t try to stop him.

Clever boy.

Don't let him win 1,685 “What are you doing?” Jiang Cheng asks him, voice much softer now, and he’s quick to carefully rub some warmth back into Lan Xichen’s hands.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Lan Xichen whispers, the same thing he always says when Jiang Cheng forces his way into Lan Xichen’s seclusion, but Jiang Cheng couldn’t give less of a fuck about this.

“Well, neither should you,” he gives back, a well-rehearsed dance by now, and Lan Xichen’s mouth twists in that all too familiar way.

Good things about Yunmeng 3,343 Or, the one where Jiang Cheng attempts the impossible.

Love Is For Other People 3,704 It wasn’t that Jiang Cheng never thought about it. About love, that was.

Listless 1,787 When Jiang Cheng came up with his list, he knew that everyone else's would be different from his. It just hurts to find out again and again that he would never be the first.

And then there's Xichen.

twinkle of a bell 7,821 Jiang Cheng and Lan Huan meet at the abandoned village, looking for at least a glimpse of a new life.

Tread 1,647 “I’m going to take him with me,” Jiang Cheng says and even though Lan Xichen can’t see them, he can feel the tension in the air.

“No,” comes Wangji’s almost immediate answer, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Not that it ever stopped Jiang Cheng before.

these tears flowing down aren't a waste 2,002 “How do I confess my love to someone?” Jin Ling asks.

“Do I look like someone who has been in love?” Jiang Cheng questions back.

Through a Storm that Never Goes Away 32,948 For all of that, for his inherent complicitness in Jin Guangyao’s crimes, for trying to maintain impartiality until he had enough evidence, Lan Xichen could understand wanting him dead.

He could even understand if there were those who still felt the need to take some revenge for what Jin Guangyao did and were dissatisfied that he was dead. Lan Xichen might look like an acceptable target.

But to target Wangji as well...

I am cursed to love you (to the grave) 39,410 Jiang Cheng can't sleep.

The Comfort of You 24,904 [Part 1 of the The Belonging series] On the eve of Jin Ling's 20th birthday, Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen take a step forward into a life that will forever be changed.

(Three years after the events of Guanyin Temple Lan Xichen asks a pivotal question of the man he's been falling in love with for the past year. Jiang Cheng has never really felt what he feels for Lan Xichen and falls apart in his hands. And that's okay.)

I Put You First 7,178 Lan Xichen gets a little jealous when the Other Boys thirst over Sect Leader Jiang. Luckily, Jiang Cheng only has eyes for one man.

Canon Era Fics

A Small Measure of Peace 122,790 With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.

There's Hope for the Hopeless 11,791 Part of being Sect Leader means going to weddings, both those important to him and those that he is convinced to attend.

5 times Jiang Cheng went to a wedding + his own.

A good night's rest 1,795 [Part 1 of the Sing for me series] Jiang Cheng is standing at the end of the pier, clad in simple sleeping robes, and he’s walking up and down, bouncing a sniffling Jin Ling on his arm. And he is singing to the boy, his voice soft and low, but clear enough to ring out over the water and carry.

Lan Xichen stops dead in his tracks and keeps still, not wanting to disturb Jiang Cheng or upset Jin Ling again. The boy is clearly fighting sleep, but the steady movement of Jiang Cheng and his lullaby are doing wonders in dragging him to sleep anyway.

Beside You 6,624 [Part 1 of the Lan Furen series]

Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier behind him, giving up his position, his family and his home to start a new life as a rogue cultivator. He can't quite make himself leave Yunmeng completely though, not just yet, and as he loiters on the outskirts he comes across Lan Xichen, evidently on the run.

Together, they fret for themselves, their loved ones and each other as the Wens and impending danger draws closer.

The Desperate Search Began 2,361 [Part 1 of the Some Day I'm Gonna Make You Mine series] It starts with a fight, Jin Zixun and Jiang Wanyin bumping heads over a battle plan. The Sunshot campaign will not slow for one brush of ego, but Jin Zixun has found himself outranked by a boy that he feels of no consequence compared to a member of the shining Jin sect.

When Nie Mingjue is present, or even Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixun keeps his counsel. He does not push. Sadly, the bruise to his ego will not appear to have forgotten that while he is a valued member of their war council, Jiang Wanyin is a sect leader now. The fact that he’s a boy younger than even Jin Zixuan, rankles.

Add that they are only witnessed by Lan Xichen and Jin Zixun becomes a discredit to Lanling Jin.

remember these words i say 4,133 “Please, allow me to fix this.” Lan Xichen finds himself asking, begging. It is for his own peace of mind, but it is also for Jiang Cheng and for Jin Ling, for the people of Lotus Pier who have watched their home burn and fought hard to build it back.

“I do not know how you could.” Jiang Cheng points out.

Lan Xichen nods in agreement. “I do not know either, now, but –” Wangji isn’t the only stubborn one in the family, “I will find a way.” He promises, determined.

fill the cracks in (with your light) 2,947 [Part 1 of the moments through the years series] Lan Xichen's voice doesn't have the usual light note in it when he asks, “What are we doing, Jiang Wanyin?”

Waxing Moon 1,925 [Part 1 of Soft] After Wei Wuxian was sent home from Cloud Recesses, Jiang Cheng realizes it's pretty lonely without him. Luckily, sulking on a rooftop leads to a new friendship.

Tipsy at best 2,458 Jiang Cheng tugs Nie Huaisang along, and they are stumbling more than walking, but in their inebriated state even that is funny.

They are snickering still when they suddenly see a figure in white appear at the end of the path.

“Uh-oh,” Jiang Cheng says, and it’s entirely too loud, but he’s still too drunk to care about that right now.

Nie Huaisang, on the other hand, seems to have sobered up, because his eyes take on a calculating glint behind his fan.

“Say, Jiang Cheng, what were your requirements for a partner again?” Nie Huaisang asks and it’s enough to make Jiang Cheng stop.

it all passes someday 13,638 A week before the anniversary of Wei Wuxian’s death, there was a commotion outside Lan Wangji’s house.

Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji over the years.

Punishment 5,415 [Part 1 of the The Rules of Living series] “33 lashes,” one of the Elders suddenly coldly says and Lan Xichen’s stomach turns over. “20 for his brother and 13 for daring to defy us,” he goes on and Lan Xichen bows his head in acceptance.

The same punishment Lan Wangji endured. Lan Xichen can do it, too.

And he manages, without a sound, like Lan Wangji, if only just barely.

#xicheng #the untamed #rec time #xicheng fic #jiang cheng #lan xichen

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yunsoh · 3 years

Text

s3 episode 3 thoughts and oh boy!!! trio time. disaster siblings + yuki time.

- man have i missed the student council. just wow have i missed them

- tbh my first thought is just how cute kimi is at the start of this ep. also i love that she and yuki have this same problem with the seniors suddenly confessing their love/trying to ask them out before they graduate and while yuki’s sitting here like “i can only hurt their feelings :(” kimi’s straight up like “let them throw a pity party!! whatever” queen

- and of course “what makes a guy attractive is his bank account 💖” fave. and kakeru agreeing with “true facts” god the two of them. mhm.

- the way that kimi decimates nao’s entire life and career in one fell swoop. get his ass. also i find it endlessly funny that nao has a crush on minagawa of all girls because she is point blank the most obnoxious girl in the whole school. like it just seems like he wouldn’t have the patience for her at all LMAO but i guess crushes just do that to your brain sometimes

- the girls calling machi scary for knocking over a bunch of chalk while being dead fuckin silent on haru literally destroying their classroom. actually not even dead quiet the girls literally cleaned up after him. hot privilege.

- i’m endlessly curious about how this rumor about machi trying to kill her little brother even got around like. i have to assume it was something that slipped from either her parents or kakeru’s mom to other parents of kids who go to the same school/adjacent schools. because obviously it did not come from kakeru and he’s the only other person who knows yk.

- kakeru: *sulks*

- machi: *trots*

- ugh man it’s machi’s parents just continuing to put her own feelings in her mouth and never once letting her have control over her own personhood, down to displaying her thoughts or emotions. “you’ll be more comfortable alone.” also her dad saying that he assumed that machi might try to hurt her brother and treating that as the truth because she’s never had the space to become an individual to them separate from what they project onto her. how much can you hate your child actually.

- also find it interesting that kakeru has never fully questioned whether or not machi actually tried to kill her brother. when he says it to yuki, he says “what those girls said is pretty close to the truth.” and when yuki says he finds it hard to believe, kakeru says he “may be right,” since it’s just the version of the story he heard from his parents. but all things considered i don’t think he’s necessarily ever believed it to be true; he’s just never been able to see machi’s side of the story because she’s been fully closed off to confiding in him, which is mostly because she feels as though she won’t be listened to or understood anyway thanks to the treatment she’s had from her parents.

- that said. kakeru go to jail

- it’s about yuki feeling comfortable enough to engage in physical acts of friendship without so much as thinking about it. yeah :)

- i do find it interesting that kakeru remembers this moment of machi making footprints in the snow when they were younger. it’s something that would probably be easily forgettable but it stuck with him because even he found something a little off about it.

- this whole minute is just such a whirlwind. the little arrows pointing to yuki. machi trying to slam the door on them. kakeru dragging yuki in to the point that he’s tripping over his own feet. yuki calling it the sea of decay with sincerity but machi has no idea what the context is. the bra. machi about to throttle yuki. kakeru finally fucking leaving after getting hit and still being a shit. this all happens in like forty seconds.

- her best quality: her squiggles

- oh this visual of her having to walk this tightrope with her mom. interesting

- also interesting how young machi sounds in this scene where her mom is talking down on her to another person. i know she must be in her first or second year of middle school (just because kakeru was in middle school when he finally got out of the inheritance situation) but it really drives home just how young she was.

- also heartbreaking because this is a moment where machi is trying to stand up for herself and asking why her mom is saying those things about her when she’s the one who shaped her this way, and she’s just so thoroughly shut down by her that she can’t cope.

- i thought this shot was adapted well, although i think the scene itself is kind of confusing -- in the manga, it’s insinuated that she has this breakdown moment right after this conversation with her mom, and that it’s the first time she reacts this destructively (in the manga her outfit is the same between shots, and it doesn’t appear that she’s in her own apartment yet -- it’s more ambiguously just a home office). here though they change it so that it’s a more recent event -- more like she’s reacting this way because she’s remembering this conversation, rather than reacting directly after it. the outfit she wears in this scene is the same one she wears when her parents are accusing her of trying to hurt her brother, too; it’s also reasonable to read this as her having a breakdown after being left alone in her apartment for the first time. to the team’s credit her window is also broken in the season 2 ep where we see her apartment for the first time, so we can assume that they made this change deliberately.

- yuki is so genuinely kind as usual, but it’s also because he does have a thread of personal understanding of where she’s coming from. he also suffered from being held to an incredibly high standard and was similarly emotionally neglected because of this, but it’s also something he’s come to terms with and has started to heal and move on from. so he’s at a place where he’s able to give her some comfort. even just the simple act of praise for still being here, and just being herself, is something that is so desperately needed.

- kakeru listening in..... boy take ur notes

- literally yuki is like the epitome of being machi’s senior like this moment is just sooo gentle but also protective i think. like he’s really just taking the helm where kakeru has been unable to all this time. he’s her mentor in a way.

- kakeru’s goofy fucking ringtone and the animation that goes with it. love that

- the chalk-breaking scene did change the game. yuki is just completely on for her to the point that he doesn’t even stop what he’s saying to consider it. he’s just really looking out for her :’(

- rest of the ep under the cut because i know this is gonna be about minagawa lmfao

- oh this new scene is cute? love kyo actually helping out + uo and hana just fucking chilling. also uo hana and yuki only giving a fuck about tohru while kyo falls from like eight feet up.

- yuki literally only coming in for that second lmfao king

- i knew that this would be the minagawa ep and yet when yuki said he had an appointment i was like...... are you....... going to the doctor’s for some reason....... this is a weird reboot addition..............

- the beginning of this scene is weeeeeird what a weird transition to minagawa. also this feels super jarring and i knew this was coming?? like there’s no setup for this being a goodbye to minagawa she’s just suddenly sitting there getting super nostalgic

- i am grateful though that they didn’t split the time these chapters got completely 50-50. minagawa only getting like five minutes of screentime before gong away forever feels apt.

- minagawa really is just here to say “thank you yuki for being the center of my harassment campaign on the general student body here for these past two years” before bouncing. this isn’t even a point of character development she literally didn’t learn anything.

- the pacing of this feels so WEIRD like. on the one hand, glad it’s only five minutes. on the other hand why was it included at all. it really dampers the rest of the ep and just feels super distracting.

- the dramatic music....... the dramatic flashbacks......... i mean it tracks for her but i just cannot take it seriously lmaooo

- wow the way this is delivered just makes this scene with minagawa feel extra undeserved. like even more so than in the manga. that’s pretty incredible.

- am i going to sit here and make mental parallels between the fact that neither minagawa nor machi actually know yuki personally. like they’ve both been observing him from afar this whole time. like is that the parallel i’m supposed to draw this episode that both of these girls have crushes on him but he hasn’t actually divulged anything personal to either of them. idk. like i know the answer is no and that it’s more fodder for him having a romance plot and whatever but. idk!

- what is happening what is happening what is happening

- this departing song + the shots of the empty school feels so fucking weird. we’re saying goodbye to minagawa and takei. what is being imparted emotionally does not match the actual narrative we are receiving. also feels weird to put a scene with this much “goodbye” emotion in the third episode?

- did i just fast forward through this nao and minagawa scene. maybe.

- oh that’s right we also get hiro at the end of this chapter too. and kagura talking about rin. this pacing is weird

- it still baffles me that rin was able to graduate how tf did she manage that

- wow i really wish these last parts of the ep were moved to the next episode or something. they feel really out of place squashed into the end here. this rin bit definitely deserved more time to let the weight sink in.

#fruits basket #fruits basket spoilers #surprisingly felt like i didn't talk too much about this ep #probably because i've talked about all this stuff w machi to death already

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padme-parker · 3 years

Text

Collide / Anakin Skywalker x Reader (Chapter 6)

[a Star Wars x Avengers crossover]

Summary: You go to Onderon and meet someone you’ve been longing to see. Another call to home ensues and hearts get broken.

Warnings: angst, maybe cursing, I can’t think of anything else. oh and bad plot lmao

WC: 4.0k

A/N: this isn’t proof read so it might be scuffed.

read chapter 5 here

C O R U S C A N T

After the nightmares began, Anakin was rarely around, only making you more susceptible to the dark side. You truly did want to tell him about what had been keeping you up at night, but how were you going to contact him when he was never around and the connection the two of you shared was seemingly cut off? You weren’t able to feel his emotions nor feel his presence. It was as if he had blocked you off, almost like he was dead, but he wasn’t. You knew that he went on more campaigns as he was barely spending time in the temple, wanting to stay as far away from you. And if the two of you ever were in the same room by sheer luck, he pretended that you didn’t exist.

On days where both Anakin and Obi Wan were gone, you trained with a girl named Xin. In a way, she reminded you of the mandalorian Sabine: intelligent, strong, and creative. She was skilled with her lightsaber, but also greatly skilled in hand to hand combat, making her an excellent training partner. When all three of them were gone, you spent time learning binary after shortly being gifted a droid. R2-KT, or Kaytee as you liked to call her, accompanied you on your walks around the Jedi temple, often telling you random facts about it or Coruscant.

As time passed, you noticed how the council became weary of your presence. After noticing the color of your saber, which wasn’t hard to miss, the Jedi Masters seemed to focus their attention on you whenever you were in the room with them. You would have liked to believe that you had begun to earn their trust, but you understood their cautiousness towards you. Hell, you would’ve probably reacted the same way if someone came to Earth using a big stone hidden in the middle of nowhere claiming that the fate of the universe rested in their hands.

The halls of the temple were empty- excluding the sentinels- as you roamed around with Kaytee at your side. It was still so surreal being in the Jedi temple. Six months ago you were on Earth, spending time with your family. It seemed so long ago since you were first introduced to Star Wars.

You were foreign to the concept of bonding, spending time with your peers. After spending almost 17 years in foster care, you learned to not attach yourself. To become cold, detached, and observant of your surroundings. With your arrival to the tower, it became a shock to you when you found out that the team spent time together willingly. Some nights they played games like Uno and Cards Against Humanity. You would always sit in the corner and watch them, not comfortable enough to be engaging with them in such a way like that. On the nights where they watched movies, you would always sit in the furthest seat away from the group. It stayed like that until Peter started coming to the bonding nights.

Due to the fact that he was still young, he stayed with his Aunt May. Only coming to the tower to help Tony with his projects. So it was a surprise to see him there, but you couldn’t help feel more comfortable knowing that someone else your age was there.

“So, what’re we watching tonight?” He asked. The team let out a couple of groans, unsure of what they were getting into. “How about we watch Star Wars? I bet you those two grandpas haven’t seen it yet.”

“Hey! Watch it, Peter.” Steve said, putting his hand over his heart to feign hurt. All it took for him to apologize was one glance at Bucky. “Sorry Mister Winter- uhh James- Bucky-- no. Sir Barnes. And Steve.”

He goes to sit down, but before he does, he takes a survey of the room. He notices you sitting alone on the couch, “Hey, why don’t you come sit closer?” He asked. You shake your head, telling him that you were alright where you were. “What about you? Have you seen Star Wars?” You quickly shake your head, you see Peter’s eyes widen and he takes off to sit in the empty spot next to you.

“OMG. WHAT? How have you never seen the movies?”

“Not everyone has the privilege to have a normal childhood. I just so happened to be one of those kids.” You informed him.

“Right, sorry.” He apologized, his hand awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “I’m sure you’ll love the movies though.”

Peter was right. After watching A New Hope, the team had retired to their respective rooms, but the two of you had stayed up all night finishing the movies. After watching all three trilogies, you had a new found obsession, especially for a certain Skywalker. Even though some people thought that Anakin was a bad character, and sure the script was really bad, you really did love him. So when he betrayed Obi Wan to save Padme, your heart couldn’t help but break. Poor man was so whipped for the pussy :( I guess you could call it to die for.

Although your time on Coruscant was limited, you did your best to enjoy it. The six months you had spent here so far had been a gift. The environment was truly mesmerizing, and you wanted to share it with Peter. You tried not to call him often, the time difference was just slightly confusing. While six months might’ve passed for you, it had only been a month for your family back home.

You were broken out of your reverie by the buzzing of your holocom, requesting your presence in the council room. Making your way into the room, you told Kaytee to wait by the doors. You stood in the middle of the room with your hands clasped behind your back, waiting for them to address you.

“Nice to see you it is.” Master yoda said. “A task for you, we have.”

A task? What could they possibly want you to do? There was no way they’d be sending you on a mission, they never did.

“We want you to travel to Onderon. They are celebrating their liberation from the separatists. I don’t know why but Anakin and Obi Wan would like for you to be present-” Before Mace can finish his sentence he is cut off.

“I believe what Master Windu is trying to say is that they would both like for you to experience what our galaxy has to offer.” Shaak Ti answered for him. “There will be other Jedi there too, but you will be traveling on your own.” She said. “Oh, and please keep in mind, this celebration is also being held in remembrance for Steela, their fallen leader.”

“Understood, may I leave now?” Master Yoda gave you a nod, allowing you to leave. You made your way to the hangar, Kaytee following close behind you. Well, it looks like it was time to see Anakin again.

O N D E R O N

Your journey to Onderon is short, but you take the time to fiddle with Kaytee. Cleaning her up to make her look presentable. Weeks after you were gifted the droid, you took the time to fix her up and reprogram her to your liking. With the touch of a button, you could make her record a hologram, send her your location, or gouge out someone's eye if needed. You truly did love your droid, and you thanked the stars that Stark taught you how to code, program, and build trinkets of your own.

Kaytee lands the ship with a heavy thud, “I know you're excited to see Artoo, but we need to be careful with this ship. It’s not ours.” You told her, and in return you get a series of apologetic beeps. The door opens with a hiss, you signal for Kaytee to follow you. Stepping off, you notice all of the other ships outside of Iziz. It was like all the entirety of the galactic senate was here, which you really didn’t doubt. You felt out of place in your Jedi robes. People were arriving in magnificent, mind blowing outfits. Gowns with tails that trailed far behind them and tuxes with flowy capes. This ball was going to have it all.

The bustle of the market only intensified with the oncomers. You had to make your way to the temple before you got distracted. By the time you reached the temple doors, the crowd lessened, or so you thought. Entering the temple, you were greeted at the sight of hundreds of people. You felt blood rush to your cheeks as people began to turn and stare at you. Screw the Jedi Council for not giving me a nice outfit to change into. Just as you were about to turn around and wander through the market, you heard your voice being called out. You tried to find where the sound was coming from, only to get confused and jolt your head around violently as if you were a loth cat.

“Alyra! Over here!.” Your feet began moving on their own accord. As if you were being drawn to a presence. You come to a screeching halt in front of.. Anakin, of course it's him. Why am I not surprised that the force has literally brought me to him? Along with Obi Wan, R2, and Padme. Oh my god, wait, it’s Padme. I could kiss her right now if I wanted to. But I won’t. That would be weird, won’t it. Kissing her in front of her husband, who is my-

“Alyra, are you alright?” Obi Wan asks, breaking you out of your internal ramble.

“Yeah, I was just...trying to take all of this in. I’ve never seen anything like this.” You responded, pretending to look around the temple.

“It seems like you space out a lot.” He jokes, a smile on his face before he realizes no one else is laughing. He rolls his eyes before continuing, “Anyways, welcome to Onderon. This is my good friend, Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo.” He turns to face her while he introduces you to her. You hold out a hand, expecting for her to shake it. Instead she walks up to you and takes you within her hold. She hugs you tightly, you can feel her protruding belly.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you! Anakin has talked a lot about you.” Both you and Obi Wan furrow your brows at the mention of Anakin speaking of you. Padme is quick to notice this and corrects herself, “I mean of what he’s mentioned to me about you today. Right, Ani?” She validates.

“Yeah, only good things though.” He testified, avoiding your gaze. It was weird that he was mentioning you to his pregnant wife, what was there to talk about? Not to mention the fact that he had been avoiding your presence for months now.

You squinted your eyes at him, “I could only hope so, seeing as though we haven’t spoken in awhile.” you accused. What in the world is he up to now?

You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to come up with a comeback, before he can utter a word, he’s interrupted by Padme.

“C’mon, let’s go to your room and get you changed.” Once again, you furrow your brows.

“Changed, what do you mean changed?” You ask her.

“What, did you think I’d just let you roam around the ball in those ugly Jedi robes? Come, I’ll let you borrow one of my dresses.” She drags you away by the arm, Anakin and Obi Wan shouting at her. Something about Jedi robes not being ugly, you couldn’t really hear with Padme’s giggles silencing them. Kaytee let’s out a giggle of her own as she follows you, Artoo’s personality rubbing off on her.

Padmé all but practically throws you onto your bed as she ushers one of her handmaidens, Teckla, to bring the dresses into your room. Teckla wheels in a rack filled with elegant looking dresses, along with a bunch of different heels. All looking like they could snap your ankle in half if you walked the wrong way. The first dress she hands you is body conforming up until it reaches your knees, from there it fans out creating a mermaid gown effect. While the dress itself was very beautiful, you thought of it to be too plain for an event like this. You and Padme both share a look before agreeing that this was in fact not the dress.

However, the next dress she hands you is a proper ball gown. You slip it on, taken aback by how heavy the dress was. She walks up behind you to tighten the corset of the gown. She does her best to tighten it up without hurting you, but you can’t help let out a wheeze as she gets closer to tying it off.

“Sorry, as much as I love this dress, I also hate it. I’m so glad I’m pregnant so I don’t have to feel it stabbing me at every given chance.” She said, breaking the silence.

“How many months are you?” You asked.

“I’m six months along now, almost seven.” She finishes tying up the corset before stepping aside. “What do you think?”

“Well, it certainly is fit for an event like this and I do think it’s beautiful. But it’s crushing me with every breath I take. I feel like if I sit down, I won’t be able to get back up.”

“Right, well I can fix that.” This time she takes her time picking out the next dress. She lets her fingers brush across the different fabrics, stopping at one that caught her eye. “Here, try this one!” She suggests. By the look on her face, you can already tell that this is the one. The dress is flowy and soft looking. You step into the dress, pleased to find yourself correct. It feels like you have nothing on. Padme helps you zip the dress up, along with clasping together the leather pieces. The light blue tulle layered over the dark blue, almost purple material complimented your skin tone. The dress had a deep v-neck, showing off your cleavage. Right below your collarbone laid a strap of leather, connecting to either side of your thick shoulder straps. From those straps, a thin piece of tulle was stitched on, giving you two separate mini capes for your arms. Aside from a strap of leather covering your spine, the dress is completely backless. It feels like you could go frolicking in this dress. Who am I kidding, Padme probably went frolicking in this dress with Anakin.

“So, what do you think?” Her tone is hushed, as if she was trying to figure out whether you hated or loved the dress.

“It’s beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.” You respond. “Kaytee, what do you reckon?” The droid let’s out a series of delights beeps, showing her contentment towards the dress.

“Great!” Padmé says before ushering you into a chair. “Now, we're going to do your hair and makeup. So sit still.” For once in your life, you shut up and sit still, allowing Padme to work her magic.

“Do you know the gender?” You asked, your question breaking the silence, and while the atmosphere wasn’t exactly awkward, it wasn’t comfortable either.

“Oh no, I’d rather not. It’s not like it matters to me anyways. As long as my child is happy and healthy, then so am I. But it’s ironic because I haven’t been to a check up yet.” Padme gently pulls your hair back, leaving two pieces in the front to frame your face. It was simple, not taking any attention away from the dress.

No check up? Maybe that’s why Padme didn’t know she was having twins. “So you haven’t seen a doctor or a medical droid yet?” Your eyes follow her as she pulls makeup out of her bag, her collection vast.

“No, not really. I don’t have very much time to myself due to the fact that I’m a part of the senate. But I do my best to make sure I stay healthy for my baby and me. I also just want it to be a surprise.” Padme finds a foundation shade similar to your skin tone and blends it in.

“What if you have twins? What will you do then?” You probably weren’t supposed to be asking her questions like these, but you couldn’t help it. Maybe you should’ve asked why she had so much makeup instead.

“Well..” She sighed while blotting powder all over your face. “..I suppose if it happens, then it happens. It’s the will of the force.” She finishes powdering your face before moving to your eyebrows. Padme takes an angled brow brush and begins to fill them in, giving it a naturally fuller look.

“So, you believe in the force?”

“How could I not? I work so closely with the Jedi, I’ve seen what you guys have done. The father is very close friends with the Jedi.” Padme said, implying that the father was in fact a Jedi. It felt like you were intruding, but then again, you weren’t necessarily forcing her to tell you this. You had only met her moments ago and she already trusted you enough with her secrets.

“Really? I thought the Jedi weren’t allowed to form attachments?”

“Oh… we weren’t really together. It was sort of a one night thing. But he’s going to be in the child’s life.” She covered up.

The conversation went on like that for a while before Padme announced that she was finished with you. After finishing your makeup and adding some finishing touches to your hair, she finally stepped aside, letting you see yourself in the mirror.

The second you saw yourself, your mouth fell open in shock. You looked absolutely ethereal. Padme kept your makeup very natural to bring out your features. She also added small, white flowers into your hair. You excitedly thanked her and got up to hug her as a way to show your gratitude.

“Shall we get going now?” She offered

“Oh, if it was alright with you, I was going to stay behind. I have to contact somebody.” You asked

“Of course, I’ll see you later then.” She said before gathering all of her belongings and leaving with Teckla. As Padme arrives, Anakin notices that you weren’t with her.

“Where’s Alyra?” He asked her, eager to see what she would look like out of her Jedi robes.

“She said she had to talk to someone.”

Meanwhile, in your room you were getting ready to call Peter. Honestly, you had no idea if you had connection on Onderon, but you were about to find out. Taking off your necklace, you were pleased to see the green light, indicating that you were indeed connected to the bridge. You scroll through your contacts before finding Peter’s name. You hit the dial button and wait for it to connect.

E A R T H

Peter is sleeping when he gets a call, the bracelet on his left hand vibrating. He thinks nothing of it and almost declines the call. That is until he realizes it’s you calling on the bracelet he had designated just for you. He jumps up from his sleeping position and quickly answers your call. Peter can’t help but let out a gasp of awe the very second your face pops onto the hologram.

“What? Is there something on my face?” You move closer towards the camera and inspect your face, only to find no flaws.

“Nothing...it’s just been so long since I’ve seen you like this.”

“Like what?” Your eyebrows scrunch together, the confusion clear on your face.

“All… dolled up.” Peter’s response makes your face blush a hot red. You let out a shy laugh as your hand comes to rest at the back of your neck. He was right, it had been so long since you’ve felt this pretty. It felt good, for once you had felt good.

“Thanks, Pete. It feels good to be in something other than Jedi robes.”

“Not that I’m saying you can’t be dressed up like this, but exactly why are you so dressed up?” He pondered, he knew it wasn’t like the Jedi to go about their duties in exquisite gowns.

“I’m actually on Onderon.” You pan the camera towards the view outside of your window. “The Jedi have invited me to a celebration of Onderon’s liberation. But also in memory of Steela I believe. I really wish you were here with me. I still don’t understand why they couldn’t have sent both of us.”

“I miss you too, but you know I have a duty here on Earth.”

“Duty? So did I Peter!”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that. With me being Spiderman-”

“It’s not like they don’t have any other superheroes. I mean come on, admit it! You know more about Star Wars than I possibly could. You should be here with me.” You huff out before changing the subject, “Anyways, how are you? Did you end up fixing things with MJ?”

“I’m fine, but no, we didn’t. We both agreed that we’d be better off as friends. Besides I’ve already moved on.” He confessed, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. It’s now or never Peter, you’ve gotta tell her.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear about your split. But hopefully you and this new person will work out-”

“It’s you.” He says, abruptly cutting you off. Peter watches you tilt your head as your brows scrunch together again.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s you,” He repeats, taking a deep breath before speaking again, “It’s always been you. I didn’t realize it until you had left… I didn’t think I could miss someone so much.”

“Peter…. I don’t know what to say.” You uttered out,

“Please, say something- anything.” He begged, hoping he hadn’t just ruined years of friendship. Peter watches as you open and close your mouth, searching for the right words.

“...I can’t.” You say as you shake your head. “I can’t be with you, Peter.”

“Why? Is it because of my age? Come on, Y/N, I’m only two years younger than you.” He pleads

“It’s not that. You’re just not the right person for me, Peter. I know it in my very soul.”

“Oh yeah? And who is, Anakin?” He taunts, he can feel his eyes water as he watches you look away from him. “No freakin’ way. You’ve got to be kidding me.” Peter lets out a scoff.

“You’ve got to understand Pete, I love him. I really do.”

“NO! You don’t love him. You’re just obsessed with him. You think you can save him but you can’t! No one can! You can’t change his destiny.”

“What do you even know about love? You can’t tell me who I can and can’t love. It doesn’t work like that. You know nothing about it-”

“I LOVE YOU!” He screams, breaking the silence in his Queen’s apartment, surely waking up May. “Why isn’t that enough?” Peter watches as tears slowly stream down your face as he lets out a few of his own.

“I’ve got to see this out until the end, you know that Peter...I could only wish that it was enough, but it’s not. You’re like a brother to me, don’t do this to me. To our friendship...I’ve got to go now.”

“No, you don’t get to leave again-”

“I’m sorry, goodbye, Peter.” You end the call and Peter is left staring at the wall, mouth hung open in shock. He couldn’t believe this just happened to him. He faintly makes out the sound of Aunt May knocking on his door.

Without waiting for a response, she cracks open his door. She takes notice of the tears falling off of his face and closes her mouth. Aunt May is silent as she makes her way across his room, holding her arms out for him. Peter gratuitously accepts her embrace, his sobs muffled by her clothes.

No words are spoken as Peter cries his heart out, never in a million years did he think you’d be the one to break him.

collide tags: @deepcollectionmagazine @amesstm @haileyybird

#star wars #anakin #Anakin Skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #Anakin Skywalker x Padme Amidala #anakin skywalker fanfic #Padme Amidala #obi wan kenobi #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #peter parker x reader #Peter Parker x reader angst #unrequited love #its been so long #sorry lmao

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extasiswings · 3 years

Note

"sigurista" for Eddie

Edit: On ao3 here.

sigurista: Someone who makes sure that everything goes as planned; the kind of person who will not act unless he totally feels sure that the desired result would be obtained. [Okay, this is probably cheating because it only very technically fits if you squint, but this is all the result of your enabling so. If anyone wanted more White House AU Buddie, this is a follow up to this prompt fill.]

It’s a quiet day.

Now, Buck’s not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he can count on one hand the number of times his schedule has been so light throughout the first year of his presidency, so he can’t help checking it again and then a third time just to make sure. But it doesn’t change the longer he looks at it.

Okay. So, it’s a quiet, light day. That’s a good thing—it’s not like he can’t use the rest.

He’s just not sure why he can’t quite work the tension out of his shoulders, why he feels poised on the edge of a tightrope made of razor wire about to either fall or get sliced.

By noon, all of his scheduled meetings are finished and he’s even managed to catch up on some of the reports he’d been meaning to dig deeper into. He’s antsy and full of untethered energy and, finally, he closes the file he’s looking through and crosses the room to knock on the door connecting the Oval with the Chief of Staff’s office.

(After the last time he walked in without thinking and got an eyeful of his sister and Chim that made him want to bleach his brain, he always knocks.)

“Hey, Chim—I’m going to head back to the residence for the rest of the day—”

The main office door opens.

“I’m afraid I can’t allow that, Mr. President,” Athena says, and it’s been enough time that Buck knows when the head of the secret service shows up personally and without warning it means nothing good. Right behind her, the aide to his National Security Advisor comes skidding to a halt, out of breath.

“You’re needed in the situation room, sir.”

Buck looks back at Athena.

“Michael—?”

(It may well be a conflict of interest that the Vice President’s ex-wife is responsible for making sure Buck stays alive, but then, Buck’s pretty sure there’s no less of one than the fact that his sister is dating his Chief of Staff so...)

“He’s being moved to a secure location,” she replies. “But yes, Bobby’s waiting in the sit room. I can fill you in on the way.”

Buck swears internally and runs a hand through his hair.

“Okay. What do we have?”

“Bomb threat and possible shooter at the Pentagon,” Athena says, and Buck’s heart stops, ice freezing his insides. Because that’s—

“You know, some of us have actual work to do,” Eddie said the night before, the look in his eyes exasperated but fond in the dim light from the lamp on his desk.

“You mean entertaining the leader of the free world isn’t in your job description, Lieutenant Diaz?” Buck had teased right back, reveling in the quirk of Eddie’s lips.

“Yeah, well, you’re going to have to find someone else to entertain you tomorrow—I’ll be in meetings with the joint chiefs at the Pentagon all day. Should be thrilling stuff.”

“Maybe I’ll invent a national security emergency—get you out of it.”

Eddie laughed. “Please don’t, they’ll just reschedule. And then there will be paperwork.”

—that’s where Eddie is.

“How the fuck does that happen?” Buck croaks out, feeling like he’s swallowed glass.

“We’re working out the exact details,” Athena replies. “But it’s fairly clear it was an inside job. Whoever it is killed one of the marines on duty and called in the bomb himself, we’re looking at the security feeds and card access records to narrow down a name.”

She finishes just as they step through the door of the situation room and Bobby looks up.

“Dennis Pierce,” he fills in. “He’s been there eight years, looks like he was identified as part of the investigation to see which employees might have ties to white supremacist groups. He hasn’t been fired yet because the investigation isn’t finished, but I guess he saw the writing on the wall.”

“And thought he would tender his resignation by, what? Blowing up the joint chiefs?” Buck can hear the edge in his voice, which means Bobby definitely can as well.

(They met on the campaign trail, when Buck started getting intelligence briefings that made him feel like he was drowning, in over his head. But Bobby never treated him like an idiot who didn’t know the first thing about national security, was always patient, willing to sit with him and explain. And by now, Buck’s pretty sure he would be lost without him. Without him and—)

“We’re not going to let that happen,” Bobby replies, his own voice carefully even. Steady. “We have a bomb squad on site and every armed guard in the building looking for this guy, not to mention that most of the people he’s likely to run into are combat-trained military.”

The phone on the desk rings and Bobby picks it up as the door opens and the heads of the FBI and CIA file in.

“Copy that,” Bobby says and hangs up, tapping a few keys on his keyboard to bring up blueprints on the main screen and highlighting a room on the fifth floor.

“Someone pressed one of the hidden panic buttons in conference room J,” he explains. “Bomb squad is on its way and we should be getting camera feeds—now.”

The feed flickers into the screen and steals Buck’s breath all over again, because there, on the screen, with his hands raised and facing down an older, grizzled white man with a gun in one hand and a trigger to the bomb vest strapped to his chest in the other—is Eddie.

“There’s no audio,” Buck points out as Eddie’s lips move too quickly for him to read anything clearly.

“There aren’t any speakers or mics in the room.”

Maybe not, but—over Pierce’s shoulder, Buck notices a phone on the wall.

“I want to talk to him,” he says. “Call the room.”

Bobby’s look is sharp when he turns to look at him.

“Sir, I really wouldn’t advise—”

“Call,” Buck repeats, his tone booking no argument.

Bobby’s lips press thin, but he picks up the phone, speaking quietly into the receiver while Buck doesn’t look away from the camera feed, his stomach twisting itself into knots as Pierce shakes his head violently in response to whatever Eddie is saying. Time seems to slow the longer he watches, even as Bobby passes him the phone.

“Extension 3596,” Bobby says quietly. And Buck dials.

He can’t see the phone ring on the feed, but he sees the effect—Pierce twitches, his head whipping around in surprise, and Eddie takes advantage of the distraction to move—

The feed cuts out.

The phone keeps ringing.

“What happened?” Buck demands. “What—we have to get it back, we have to—”

The line picks up.

“This is General O’Halloran, who am I speaking with?”

Buck swallows hard.

“General, this is the President. What’s your status?”

“Lieutenant Diaz neutralized the threat, sir. Passed him off to the bomb squad waiting outside. We’re all safe and sound.”

There’s something rising up in his throat, and Buck isn’t sure if it’s just a wave of overwhelming emotion or if it’s actually bile.

“Glad to hear it, General,” he chokes out.

He passes the phone back to Bobby and shoves back his chair then, not caring whether they need him for anything, just needing—needing—

Buck rips at the knot of his tie as he steps into the hallway, and only barely makes it through the door of the bathroom at the end of it before he throws up in the sink.

The door opens again a moment later, as he’s gripping the edge of the sink trying to get his adrenaline under control.

“It’s okay, Buck,” Athena says quietly. “Everyone’s fine. Especially him.”

Buck could almost laugh at that if he was in any sort of mood. Because he hasn’t even told Eddie—not technically—hasn’t ever done anything to truly cross a line, but apparently everyone knows anyway.

“I could have lost him...and I would have had to watch,” he says.

“But you didn’t.”

Buck rinses his mouth out and spits.

“Is Bobby pissed at me for walking out?”

Athena shrugs. “I doubt it. I can take you back to the residence now if you want—tell Bobby to finish up and debrief you later.”

Buck swallows again. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

He pauses as half an idea comes into his head, then adds—

“Hey, Athena? Do you think—”

Which is how he finds himself waiting in a car outside a condo in Virginia with an extra protective detail at nine that night as his regular agents knock on the door. A woman with dark hair opens the door, and Buck can see the way her eyebrows shoot up as she exchanges quick words with the agents before they step inside to conduct their sweep. A minute passes, then the agent at his side taps her earpiece.

“Clear. Got it,” she says, and that’s all Buck needs to get out of the car.

The same dark-haired woman is standing in the entryway, arms crossed, when he walks through the door. He stops in his tracks, suddenly nervous as her calculating gaze trails over him.

“Adriana?” He guesses, and she hums.

“A little warning would have been nice,” she says, but Buck thinks he catches a hint of a smile as she turns on her heel to go down the hallway off the kitchen to what he assumes is a bedroom. “Good night, Mr. President.”

Buck opens his mouth to say something, when Eddie himself appears at the top of the stairs, hair wet and clothes sticking to his skin like he’s just jumped out of the shower.

“Adriana, what the hell—” Eddie cuts off the moment his eyes land on Buck and she just laughs before she disappears down the hall.

“Hi,” Buck says quietly.

“Hey,” Eddie replies. There’s a bruise blossoming over his cheek and Buck’s fingers itch to touch it, or really, to touch Eddie everywhere he can to remind him that he’s here, he’s alive, Buck didn’t lose—

Eddie clears his throat and makes his way the rest of the way down the stairs.

“You’re...in my house.”

Buck shifts his weight. “You almost died today.”

Eddie blows out a breath and rakes a hand through his wet hair.

“Guess you didn’t have to fake that national security emergency after all.”

“Guess not.”

Eddie’s gaze turns considering, his brow furrowing as an odd look crosses his face.

“So...I almost die...and that warrants you showing up in the middle of the night? Why?”

Buck wets his lips, feeling like he can barely hold Eddie’s eyes. His pulse is racing, blood rushing in his ears, and his voice is a mere rasp when he says—

“You know why.”

You have to know.

Eddie glances down at the floor, then over to the windows where the curtains are closed. Then he nods once.

“Maybe. But...I think I need you to say it.”

Buck nearly throws his hands up. “Fuck, Eddie, because I love—”

He doesn’t finish the sentence because Eddie closes the distance and kisses the rest away, backing Buck against the closed front door. Buck nearly chokes on relief as his hand scramble to twist into Eddie’s damp t-shirt and pull him even closer.

“I thought—” he gasps out when Eddie breaks the kiss in favor of pressing a trail of them down his neck— “I thought you were going to die and I wasn’t going to get to tell you.”

Eddie pauses his exploration, hands spasming on Buck’s hips.

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes against his skin. “Yeah, me too.”

Buck threads his fingers through Eddie’s hair and tugs him back up to kiss him again.

“Athena says she’ll kill me if I’m not back by midnight,” he admits.

Eddie’s lips quirk as he curls a finger through one of Buck’s belt loops and tugs him towards the stairs.

“Then we’re swimming in time.”

#chapel writes #buddie #buddie fic #prompt fill #shameless enablers the lot of you #letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

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