#Apollo BPD coded

[theic-manic]

Gods give me strength...

Me, casually browsing Paganblr: Not my practice, not my business. I like to focus on my own Devotional Polytheism and practice and maintain a sense of calm.

Me, when I invite Apollo to hang with my during my Tumblr browsing: I swear if I see one more post dragging Zeus while painting the red flags green for Apollo and others when the whole fucking point is to learn about the various facets of the gods, learn lessons from both their positive and not so nice stories I may actually snap.

*Deep breath* Not my practice, not my business. Not my practice, not my business. Not my practice, not my business. Not my practice, not my business. Apollo: *Plays "Blood & Glitter" by Lord of the Lost while I ponder how I have learned to love and accept the gods I follow for their flaws and positives*

Blood and glitter, saint and sinner We do fall before we rise

Me: "Apollo, I don't need to BPD-rage-post about the Gods..."

Apollo: *Plays 'Bodies' by Drowning Pool*

Let the Bodies hit the floor Let the Bodies hit the floor Let the Bodies hit the floor

Apollo please, I don't want to start a post-war with Helpol!

Besides, nobody wants my opinion on this...

Apollo: You literally asked me to guide your devotional acts today so...

Me: I didn't think I would need to specify "excluding anything that may actually piss off other Hellenic Pagans" and I feel bad for just infodumping without people asking me because I know that I take up a lot of space!

Ares: "Take up the fucking space"

Hermes: *At his little metaphysical music deck dressed as a DJ, once again* "Helllloooo DJ Hermes here! Welcome to Shufflemancy FM where you request the divine messages and I set the vibes! Today, I have a list of hot tracks requested by Sun boy APOLLO for our devotee here so stay tuned! Still taking requests from the whole Pantheon so if anyone has any recs for our little Polytheist here send them through!"

(I really should draw DJ Hermes)

[theic-manic]

Apollo when he's a tad dramatic.

[vampiresbat]

Could we please have a level 4 brainmade alter? They're masculine but that's all we really know, the rest is creators choice! ^^

@sleepy-space-bah

🪽 Thank you for the request! This is incredibly self indulgent because I am the only one fronting currently and I love brainmades <3

I was incredibly tired, however, and didn't find as many neos or xenos as I would usually find! If you would like more, feel free to send another ask!

Finally, this headmate is loosely based off of one of our own. He is a BPD/ASPD/NPD holder, and you should only use those roles if you have BPD/ASPD/NPD.

LEVEL IV BRAINMADE!!

names — achilles. seraph. evan. tate. kit. ty. casian. aj. apollo. atlas. alec. casper. callum. cody. elijah. jaxx. julian. jules. luka. miles.

prns — he/him. they/them. sun/suns. no pronouns. xe/xem. moth/moths. rat/rats. star/stars. fang/fangs. fae/faer. vamp/vamps.

genders — transmasc. holybeing. cutefreak. oceanilunaric. lazarix. horrormasc.

age — ageless but presents around 15-17

species — human

sexuality — biromantic asexual

source — n/a, brainmade

role — academic. abandonment holder. database. low empathy holder. bpd holder. npd holder. aspd holder.

sign off — 🪽💣🍓🪶🫖🪴🪻

personality — I didn't have motivation for this, sorry <3

pictures — 

hex code — B49B7A. AA876B. A3806D. 828482.

extra info — n/a

connection to source — n/a

front triggers — angels, feelings of abandonment, school, borderline splits, narc highs and crashes, ghosts, strawberries, tea, dysphoria

likes — angels, school, strawberries, tea, attention, ghosts

dislikes — being abandoned, dysphoria, trauma memories

typing quirk — replaces s with z

( eg. hello my name iz kit. it iz nice to meet you. )

kinlist — draculaura fictionkin, red foxes, river otters

playlist — teen idle, marina. house of wolves, my chemical romance. be nice to me, the front bottoms. pretty isn't pretty, olivia rodrigo. rät, penelope scott. moon song, phoebe bridgers. like real people do, hozier. girls against god, florence + the machine.

aesthetic — 

[creeperman247]

New pinned post

Lot of stuff happened since ive last posted, so im making a new pinned post due to how outdated the previous one is (updated it again, im so bad at keeping this up to date lmao)

hey there! im tempo, a mentally ill plural trans gay pagan otherkin thing

i use it/its, thon/thons, and thorn/thorns pronouns. my kintype is god. im a girl, boy, genderqueer, and a couple of xenogenders. im an mspec lesbian and an mspec gay, demisexual. i have bpd, npd, autism, adhd, and maybe ptsd, and maybe some other stuff idk. norse pagan, i worship loki. im also plural, with (currently) 11 alters. i originally used a color coding system for them but no one wanted to talk because of the complexity of remembering that and also the size of the system quickly outpaced tumblrs color options, so ive switched over to text tags. heres all my alters:

timber, he/him, text tag is T:

apollo, he/they, text tag is A:

sera, he/they, text tag is S:

venus, she/her, text tag is V:

katherine, she/her, text tag is K:

jade, he/him, text tag is J:

mars, they/them, text tag is M:

hunter, he/him, text tag is H:

torpor, it/he/she, text tag is (not sure yet, still debating, if you see anything written in all caps with an aggressive tone solid chance it's torpor)

2 of my alters are introjects, clarifying this because they actually quite enjoy talking about their sources with people, they are:

jace beleren from magic the gathering, he/him, text tag B:

taski maiden from ena: dream bbq, she/her, text tag o.o:

thats about it for the pinned post, have fun exploring my blog and all

[antiloreolympus]

May I ask why you dislike LO? I enjoy reading the series, and there are faults in the writing (as no series is perfect) and I have my own gripes with it, but overall I just really like the myth of Hades and Persephone.

I'll admit there were things that made me uncomfortable when I first started reading it (and they still kinda do) like Persephone being a teenager while Hades is, what - 40-60ish? The timeline (of the story taking place over the course of only a few weeks, when a Lot of stuff is going on), Hera the goddess of marriage having an affair, Demeter being an overbearing mother who financially takes advantage of her daughter, some of the flashbacks (like specifically the one where a much younger Kore meets a drunken Hades and falls on top of him while naked? And its played off as a meet cute)

But thats besides the point - I'm curious as to why you don't like LO and/or the creator of it I guess?

Also your posts are showing up in the lore Olympus tag - (and I know there's probably a seperate "anti-lo" tag but I also wouldn't be surprised if angry anons came into your inbox for spamming the tag of the webcomic they like with criticism, because apparently thats what people do on this hellsite instead of just blocking). And, of course your entitled to critique the series, but I'm sure some people are not going to be happy about that. (I say this as a person who enjoys critiquing media, like netflix's spop reboot, and have had angry anons come at me before, so stay safe out there).

Also, sorry this is so long.

Heyo! And I understand

I'll take this time to get into why I don't like each character as it's one of the reasons I don't like LO as a whole:

(Some I removed because there isn't much to say about them)

Main Characters:

• Hades - Man in his Late 30s to Early 40s actively pursuing a 'teenaged girl'.... He acknowledged that this was wrong at yet pursues her anyway? Plus, he's perfectly fine with slave labor and using his power/status to get his way. His character is also inconsistent when it comes to Minthe because one minute he can stand up for himself and the next he's terrified?

• Persephone - An overly sexualized teen who acts like a child. She also killed people but it was because of a 'feeling'. She still committed murder and yet it's framed as a "well, it's not her fault" but I'm also supposed to believe this 19-20 yr old would make a great and feared queen.

• Hera - Not only does she treat the lower class like garbage but she's also a hypocrite (the affair). Plus, she just randomly goes back on her word about Hades being a creep for no reason.

• Eros - Put a girl in some random dude's car and gave her "apology donuts" as a sorry gift 😒

Antagonists:

• Minthe - She was coded with bpd which wouldn't be a bad thing if she wasn't so demonized by the story.

• Apollo - How come this dude is one of the most prevalent people in the story and we don't get a strong motive for him until season 2? Even then, we barely know anything else about him. I get the whole "well, he did this so I don't want a backstory for him" but at least give him a solid motive. One that comes from him directly.

• Thetis - One of the sweetest people gets turned into a homewrecker for no reason. Even then, people gloss over her being verbally manipulative to Minthe.

• Leto - Also verbally manipulative to her daughter. How comes RS decided to demonize the goddess of motherhood, too? There's really no justifiable reason for that.

Others: 

• Hecate  - Also switched up about Hades and Persephone. Let's not forget her hitting Hades 3 times and him having to tell her to stop.

• Artemis - I get letting her brother in the house but Eros and Hermes? That's just inconsistency right there.

• Demeter - Got demonized for the 5973th time 😔🤚

• Aphrodite - Also rude to the lower class but it makes more sense as she's Aphrodite. Still rude af though.

• Hermes - Man got mad at Thanatos for "messing with his money" as if he didn't cover the whole thing up with Demeter      

• Hestia + Athena - Just hypocrites and the fact that they're supposed to be (aro)ace goddesses.

• Ares - He and Persephone also made out when she was 18 and I assume he was way, way older. Plus, him simping for Persephone in front of Aphrodite was an odd move.

• Hephaestus - This issue has more to do with RS's writing because how the hell did he hack Apollo's phone from Persephone's sim card alone and why is that just never explained?

• Daphne - Excusing nepotism as if Thanatos doesn't work in the same place as Persephone

Now, onto the story:

Its pacing is slow but also extremely fast for what it is. Everything (excluding flashbacks) has taken place over the course of 2-3 weeks. Persephone literally gets SA'd the day after the party. But then you have to think about how Persephone and Hades are probably going to get married like a month after their second meeting. We haven't even gotten to the trial yet and it feels like we never will with how slow everything is. LO honestly isn't made to be like a regular webtoon, it's made to be binged like a Netflix show or something. That would be fine but I can tell from interviews that it wasn't RS's intentions.

Also, RS herself? Yeah, don't really vibe with what she says a good portion of the time

I'll show some examples:

Not all of them are bad, just very weird

Besides the wonky art, she does have potential but LO doesn't really show her skill. Hopefully, she does learn from this comic though.

About the hate, I honestly don't care that much anymore as it really doesn't change much. I respond but only because I find it funny/entertaining when someone tries to tells me what to do with my own freetime.

[theic-manic]

Honestly,

I love how BPD coded Apollo's post break up RSD is because like babes, I'd sure as shit turn someone into a tree for rejecting me if I could.

I'd probably undo it later when I calmed down, but still.

(I like to think that I've worked on my BPD enough to maybe not want to turn people into trees anymore)

The violent aspects of Dionysus and Ares are extremely comforting to me. I know they don't judge me for the thoughts in my head and the images my brain invents when I close my eyes. I know that not only do they not judge me but they understand, and that even in those thoughts there is still something holy and divine.

I am not only worthy of love despite my intrusive thoughts, or if I do enough to "redeem" myself, but in them too, and it is because of Dionysus and Ares that I can see that. They provide me with a comfort I hadn't known possible.

[theic-manic]

Hi, so this is going to be a bit of a long ask, and if you don't think you can answer that's absolutely fine, I would appreciate even being redirected to something/someone else.

I've always felt somewhat drawn to hellenism in the last three, two years. I was brought up christian but I never believed in that god, like absolute certainty. I was atheist for most of my life, but I couldn't find it in myself to be that completely skeptic if hellenism when I found out about it. Recently I felt particularly drawn to Apollo, like he outright popped into my head, so I decided to try for real this time, and called out to him, I study the ancient classics and I knew a decent bit about hellenism from my own research, but I went to look into Apollo more and SO much just aligned with my life right now.

We had this one day of blinding sun immediately after, and I was so happy since I felt that was an answer, I go to school very early so I saw the sun rise and in the evening I went out to thank Apollo for the day when the sun was going down.

What scares me is that since I've called out to Apollo, I've been tired, and it's not my "normal" tired. I can usually do things even if I haven't slept well in a while, but all of a sudden I'm tired all the time, from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep. I tried sleeping more, didn't fix it. I genuely haven't been able to do anything for days, including things I told Apollo I'd do for him since I can't make proper offers yet (I live with my parents atm, not a minor tho). I said sorry but idk I'm worried the reason why all my energies are suddenly gone is because I upset him or someone else, and I would be happy to ask for forgiveness but I don't even really know how to understand WHO I've upset (from my understanding Apollo isn't tied to sleeping or tiredness, i thought illness but I don't have anything) or if I've upset anyone at all, and I was hoping for some tips from someone who had a bit more experience than me...?

Thank you so much for your time and your answer if you're able to write one to me!

Hey,

Thanks for the ask.

This is completely understandable and not unheard of among many of us...

Apollo is the god of plagues and diseases (among other things), so people prayed to him to be healed of the illnesses that he sent them.

He also had a history of giving people plagues and disease out of anger so I understand how you might think you've somehow enraged a deity however unlike Christian religion, it typically takes either someone of great importance or someone to fuck up royally to manage that and I honestly doubt that you've managed either.

There's just a solid chance that you've not set appropriate boundaries with Apollo and also others within your life.

In my intense and extensive experience as his devotee, if you're not doing what's required to look after yourself (such as not establishing boundaries with other people to ensure that you're not setting yourself on fire to keep others warm) he will absolutely knock you onto your arse (make you bedridden) to force such lessons.

The good news is that you have nobody to seek forgiveness from.

You need to do the following:

- Rule out all possible mundane causes such as diet, dehydration, stress, sleep disturbances, changes in medication, seasonal changes etc.

- Start setting boundaries with others to look after yourself.

Yes, that includes close friends and family.

- Start setting boundaries with Apollo (and any deity you worship).

I once had a migraine stop in its tracks because I asked, out loud, "what the actual fuck Apollo? You can't be making me ill whenever you need my attention, this is toxic as fuck".

But yeah, do those 3 dot points, and you should be okay.

Rest, hydrate and try to ponder what lessons on self care you may be needing to learn right now while making it clear to Apollo what your limits and boundaries are regarding worship and how he connects with you.

Sincerely,

An Apollo devotee hit with a random infection and lethargy as I am being reminded of this very lesson in boundaries being an act of self care myself.

[theic-manic]

Thinking about how I can better navigate my devotional relationship with Apollo, I decided to look up some Apollo fan art on Pinterest as a "sorry I've been dense with our communications lately" and I found the most gorgeous queer painting of him that I just need everyone to see and appreciate thank you.

by @natserpiece

IG source

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by natalie bennett (@natserpiece)

Linked post on me missing his, in hindsight, obvious communications last night & this morning:

[theic-manic]

Hellenic polytheism tip: ask Hermes to guide your shopping

Hermes will help you purchase things either for now or later.

Before I devoted myself to Apollo and was still casually worshipping him, I found a shirt at a thrift store that I wouldn't normally buy or wear anywhere but I felt drawn to it.

So I started wearing it initially to attract wealth and abundance, wearing it on warm sunny weekends and this was right before last year's solar eclipse in the northern hemisphere.

(Synchronicity penny just dropped: last weekend I watched a horror movie featuring a Solar Eclipse & Apollo showed me an online shopping page... I'll link below.)

Anyway once I established myself as Apollo's devotee rather than worshipper, I started wearing this shirt on Sundays as a devotional act for him.

The shirt:

(I'm tired so please excuse my face)

Last year while thrift shopping I found some cute cherub tea light candle holders, which isn't something I typically get either.

This was during a period where Hermes was being his trickster self & larping as Hekate (the spider in my towel head wrap is such an obvious sign looking back) but I was like "odd, this doesn't feel like hekate" so I packed then away.

Recently, while reorganising my bedroom I took them out and had a closer look.

There's a Lyre on each candle holder.

I asked Apollo if he'd like them on his altar.

Yes.

Another time, while shopping with Hermes I asked Ares if he liked a bag Hermes helped me pick out.

Ares complimented it so then immediately Hermes found me a "War Collection" box for my Ares altar ☺️

So let Hermes guide your shopping (set a boundary that he doesn't send you broke because one weekend he kept showing me a bunch of antiques and I'm like MATE I AM NOT RICH... yet)

E.g. when Hermes had me spend my annual leave buying a bunch of LEDs and a damn Asus Rog Ally hand-held PC for his altar as a thank-you for him gifting me with a year's worth of free coffee + $10k AUD

Hermes altar, the hand-held gaming PC he had me dedicate to him and the smol llama plush that now lives on said altar... (I still think it needs a name other than "Lola")

The second-hand coral pink Nintendo Switch that Hermes and Apollo had me go and buy my disabled housemate to make their medical appointments easier after the aforementioned winnings + Hermes helping me make $500 profit after calling my phone company out on predatory sales tactics and threatening to drag them to the telecommunications ombudsman.

I included a case I no longer use and some games I no longer play, as well as an LED charging cable.

Hermes finding me a Hermes-coded bag and a war box for Ares

Apollo being real subtle showing me eclipse mints next to a certain book title after watching a horror movie about a solar eclipse

Warning:

Hermes is also the God of thievery (I was extremely good at shoplifting during my youth that I once stole a 2L bottle of bourbon while wearing nothing but a bikini and a sarong) and he did once make a shopkeeper forget to charge me for almost $200 worth of thrift store merchandise however Apollo will absolutely drag you for such acts and so if you work with Apollo or other justice inclined gods, steal at your own risk.

[theic-manic]

Just thinking about how BPD coded some of Apollo's actions are have we simply considered that he might have been experiencing enhanced emotion-induced amnesia ?

I mean, Zeus may be largely responsible for said BPD issues, but still something to consider.

Zeus just yeeting chunks of Apollo the god of prophecy's memory to prevent him from realizing somethings up.

man's wiping Apollo's brain faster than a car windshield wiper.

[theic-manic]

Thank you Apollo for your support. ☀️

Me: *Brewing myself tea at 5:08AM because a miscommunication triggered BPD rage episode has set off my insomnia*

*Reciting some affirmations to Athena, Dionysus, and Hermes to bring me back to calm*

"I'm proud of you"

Me: "... Apollo?" (He often greets me with this phrase)

Apollo: "Hey there. You're going through it huh?"

Me: "Yeah I am."

Apollo: "okay so we're going to engage a little empathy here"

Me: "yes"

Apollo: "But no empathy without limits remember?"

Me: "Yeah I know"

Apollo: "You know, this is a bit like that story of Cassandra and I that Hermes put onto your algorithm just now."

Me: "... and that you're BPD coded by the way your RSD presents itself?"

Apollo: "Yeah. Just maybe don't curse people like I did. My point is that your abandonment wound is showing. And that's okay. BPD isn't a condition that's ever fully healed. What matters is that you know that these episodes aren't your fault and that you're managing. Now, what's the lesson here?"

Me: "... that I'm not as healed as I thought?"

Apollo: "uh... no actually. You're far more healed than you realise. Think back.

You're handling things much better than you used to."

Me: "I suppose you're right Apollo. Thank you. And... Hermes, this you too?"

Hermes: "Yeah look, you prayed to me but I'm the guy who knows a guy and when shit is above my wheel horse, I get someone better suited to assist."

Me: "Above your... you know what, close enough. Thank you Hermes."

Hermes: 😎👉👉

[theic-manic]

After writing, in depth, about deity & devotee consent, pondering his history of rather intense BPD coded relationship events and playfully acknowledging his very ... healthy sensual appetite, Apollo has decided to approach me today in a very confident manner.

Me: "So that book titled 'how does that make you feel?' Next to eclipse mints after watching a horror movie featuring a solar eclipse then inspiring an unhinged song lyric last night was you huh?

Same as getting someone to send me an article about using the exact same sunflower lanyard I dedicated to you in BDSM?"

Apollo: "Too subtle huh? I was really afraid that I was being too subtle 😅"

Me: "... you're adorable. Unhinged yes, but adorable. Please don't change."

Apollo: 😘😊

The article in question:

[theic-manic]

(Helpol blog @divine-thievery)

Helluu!! Your consent post replying to that user talking about Lord Apollo was so eye-opening for me. I named myself a devotee to Lord Hermes because I felt it was the right thing to do.

I became a Hellenic Polytheist in april 2024 and he had actually been on my mind since 2020 (possibly earlier, im bad with dates and remembering) when I first saw him in lore Olympus, to my assumption it was on purpose that i took a liking to him straight away, when I asked if it were true he pleaded the fifth 😂, anyways, so that's why i named myself a devotee, so i will be apologising to Lord Hermes after sending this ask Because as you stated in the post I hadn't asked for consent.

And I would like to thank you for making that post it's really helped me. 🧡 also, I'm Australian, too 😂

Hey mate!

All good and I am glad you appreciate it, it only took me a few hours and asking both Apollo and Hermes nicely to assist.

From my observation, Hermes is certainly a great choice for beginners as he's quote friendly and doesn't quite have Apollo's BPD-coded RSD however Hermes isn't to be taken lightly either.

One notable example

He's a trickster deity and rather amoral at that because his roles simply can't be held back by traditional morals.

I'll note here that our modern morals also don't entirely align with the societal standards of the past, which is why extra care is needed with establishing boundaries and also judging their actions through a modern lense.

This is touched upon in a decent post about rape in Greek mythology

I will also add that Apollo and Hermes just ignored the concept of consent to create this Olympus-level Maury Povich paternity test eposode event of conceiving twins together to the same woman...

Personally, Hermes became my patron deity after appearing to me as other deities... since he does participate in so many domains it's real easy for him to perform jobs for other gods.

However I had, for about a year, lightly worshipped him and included him in my daily prayers so after a while he revealed to me that it had been him all along and not Hekate and Hades those times I thought they were working with me.

While I am glad that you enjoy his portrayal in Lore Olympus (though he especially likes his visual appearances in the Hades games) the webcomic doesn't totally align with mythology...

Admittedly, I've not read much of the comic yet since I am trying to focus on more traditional portrayals of my deities for now (Blood of Zeus is somewhat decent) I did find it very nice that both the author of LO and myself interpreted Melinoe to be deaf/non-verbal (based on some comic panels I came across on tumblr featuring her anyway).

That said, Melinoe was thought to be conceived by Zeus disguised as Hades, something I assume isn't covered in the comic(?)

I'm particularly mindful to consume minimal to no fictional content about deities when I first become acquainted with their energies as I don't want my interpretation of their character to taint how I perceive them.

Even then I only consume such media as devotional acts to deities I already have a firm relationship with, but I do see modern adaptations as a way to gauge whether I'm interested in researching the original lore in-depth.

Should you decide to become a devotee of Hermes then please remember to establish firm boundaries and I hope that you represent Hermes well as one of his many "smol ambassadors" (his term).

Thanks for the ask!

I wish you luck on your spiritual journey and may Hermes guide you to the right path.