#April bITES

[shootingstarrfish]

giggling and kicking my feet lookie its him!!!!!!!

[ninebuttonz]

Another AU of mine called Bite Sized (the turtles are bite sized,, get it? ... Ha)

in a nutshell: Raph is a yokai that's 16 years older than his mutant brothers,, fluff and angst ensues

also caprisun is in the AU

Because I love them

[cokowiii]

Work sketches! I’m 7-ish hours in and craving caffeine:)

[brookbee]

Mick Jagger has earned a reputation for being a diva—in large part due to when he gets fed up with a situation, he’ll propel himself into the sky and not be seen for hours. Such was the case while filming the video for “Dancing in the Street” in 1985. Despite the interruption, however, David Bowie remained a true professional and continued filming what could be accomplished until Jagger returned from his ascension into the sky.

[bambiraptorx]

In which Draxum realizes he and the turtles may have something in common (they're all dumbasses). Minor Interference is gonna be so fun when April shows up lol

[weirdprophetess]

Hey! I'm gonna get you too! Another one bites the dust

[stinky-kiddd]

UHH WHO DREW THIS⁉️ THIS WASNT ME I SWEAR‼️

UHHH, UHMMMM THIS- THIS WAS ME 😔 (I’m so sorry u guys..)

Reference : that one vocaloid song

[8iunie]

[tangledinink]

I can imagine the first cycle after moving. Probably Leo because Donnie likely has internal scarring, so leo goes through the process of laying his eggs, panics, his brother can't help, and finally, *finally* they ask for help. It's not willingly. It's not for fun. It's purely necessity. It's purely because there's *literally noone else* and the idea of telling anyone at all is so scary that the way they do so is in a note. Splinter sits them down and basically walks them through "You're safe, you're fine. We can handle this however you feel most comfortable, including getting you both on blockers if you prefer" and they just.... sigh. For the first time, there's *someone else* in their circle, and it's willing and it's warm, and it's *safe*. There will be tears.

Yes, except I'm not convinced that either of them could stand to tell anyone. Even if it was literally life or death (which it has been before,) I'm not sure if either of them could bear to give up that information. Donnie is finally, finally away from the people who hurt him when he got found out last time, and even though logically, he knows that it's different here, he's absolutely petrified of the thought that the same thing will happen again and it won't be over anymore. He's still horrified by the idea of anyone else knowing about Leo when he's gone to such lengths for so long to protect him, and Leo is likewise terrified in the same way. They've spent years with this being their more closely guarded secret, and that's going to be really difficult to give up.

But it's really not a secret they'll be able to keep for long.

They're in a completely different environment, with far less space and privacy. They're both stressed as hell and Donnie WAS on birth control and taking all sorts of vitamins and supplements to make sure he didn't eggbind again and now he's suddenly not and it's not only messing with his body, it's fucking scary. It literally keeps them both up at night. Neither of them know how to wash blood out of clothes or sheets. There's no private en suite bathroom they can sequester themselves away in. They're both literally making themselves sick with anxiety trying to deal with this, and they're used to handling this on their own, this is routine for them, but they're not used to all of this.

They'd probably metaphorically limp through a few cycles before their family puts it together and gently confronts them.

Venus probably figures it out first. She's pretty smart, and incredibly observant, and after all-- she quite literally experiences the exact same thing. April may not lay eggs, but I think she'd be able to get the idea after a bit as well. And while I think Splinter would realize something was wrong pretty quickly, Draxum would probably realize what was wrong first. Splinter has April, so he has a little bit of experience in this realm, but Draxum has Venus and so he has far more experience.

And so when they do sit them down and talk with them, it's going to be really scary at first. And then they get to, "you're safe, you're fine, we can handle this however you feel the most comfortable. It will be okay. No one will hurt you."

And then there's finally other people in the know, in the circle, people who will actually help them. And yes-- there will definitely be tears.

[quadrantadvisor]

I can't stop thinking about like. Post Batman vs the TMNT movie there's some sort of crisis in New York, so Batman sends some of his team to help, and tells them to meet up with his "contacts" in the area. Let's say Dick, Jason, Steph, and Tim, so it can be a Robin roadtrip and not include anyone who's met the turtles before. They keep calling them "the turtles" but no one ever actually explains what their deal is. Babs apparently chats with one of them online fairly frequently. Damian will only say that they were "surprisingly formidable" and reminds the travellers not to shame Father's name in front of their allies. Apparently someone named "Young Master Michaelangelo" is the one who gave Alfred that skateboard that's inexplicably been put on display. Bruce FINALLY explains that they're the last surviving members of the Hamato ninja clan, and thus the world's only practitioners of an ancient style of ninjutsu. Their "ways are rather strange," but Bruce found them to be "dedicated and trustworthy."

So the Robins roll up to New York expecting some stoic ninja masters, and instead end up in a sewer surrounded by chaos teens and a geriatric rat.

"Are you... meta humans?"

"Nope! We started out as normal turtles and got mutated by a toxic green ooze :D"

"..."

[cofhades]

bug

[adobe-outdesign]

I absolutely love the whole Toxic Positivity April Fools event. Especially since it also ties into the weird depression epidemic going on in Neopia Central. Also, being forced to sign yourself into the contract to then get the demotivational messages was too notch.

Honestly I really appreciated the jab against toxic positivity, especially the part where Chadley's like "oh we should do something about the underlying cause of everyone being sad? that's silly, try drinking water instead :)"

[trashmuis]

hey did you guys know you can get oreos with photos on them? they would be so incredibly expensive and i know im literally losing my mind, because why did i do this, but what if...

[250318]

© all bark no bite. | do not edit and/or crop logo

[spark-circuit]

tumblr gave me too much power being able to boop my own blog for the badge counter. it's a quiet work day and I've got three hours left in my shift.

[mantisgodsart]

We have finally finished this project, and thus, The World's Worst Dating Sim is finally DONE! Just in time for April Fools Day. Now, with our six new contestants, choose, uhh... who's dateable? Or not dateable? This last batch was determined almost entirely by People Telling Us Who To Add, contains multiple AUs, and is... hmm. "Unconventional" may be a good term? Half of these are probably undateable but you can still shoot your shot.

As previously, it can be a platonic date if you want, you just can't be neutral. Deadlander Lambda belongs to @cordycepsbian and has been moved into our studio for duration of this poll. Profiles below the cut.

(we're linking the first poll here)

Deadlander Lambda - Maybe - Deadlander - Good question - At least a little bit

This, uhh...

...is this safe? We don't think this is safe. ..."Already had kids before"? What do you mean it's a parent?

...well, we can't get it out of the studio, so it's an option now? We guess? This... really doesn't seem like a good idea.

Rogu - He/him - Ant drone - Very rude to ask a gentleman that, don't you think? - I wouldn't worry about that.

A charming mystery from somewhere only described as "a faraway land", though he wasn't quite scheduled in this lineup, we think we can make an exception. This silver-tongued bug seems to be able to say just what's needed to get under your skin... and from the look of it, he's angling to take you somewhere private.

...come to think of it, haven't we seen that face before? On a poster, maybe? Well, it's not a surprise he's been modelling for things, he's certainly got a pretty enough face for it, but why do we feel... nervous, all of a sudden?

Carmina - She/(scribbled in)it - (illegible) - (illegible) - (illegible)(scribbled out with "No longer relevant" written in its place)

...where is she? She was meant to show up hours ago. What on earth could have held her up this long?

Pebbles - He/him - Moth ("iterator") - Juvenile (estimated) - Unclear

Right out of surgery, this one. While we're not sure if it's entirely responsible to include this one, and we certainly don't speak whatever language he's speaking... he's cute, isn't he? And looking for a home? Well, maybe if you're the sort of person who might want to rescue a domestic moth in a bad situation...

Wereweevil Vi - It/its (wereweevil form) - Wereweevil - 19 - Aro

Pre-existing hangups mean that you can only date this one in wereweevil form. Good luck.

Kina - She/her - Mantis (big) - Haven't asked - Also haven't asked    

Well, we assume that you can do less lethal than the bandit who people mostly know thanks to her former job as a corpse disposal unit, but some people might be into that sort of thing, honestly. Are you, perchance, also a mantis?