#April bITES

[phecdasolar]

Tumblr I need your help I am in dire need of feral/unhinged Disaster Twins fics pleaseeee (and maybe Mikey as a bonus) I’m just in love with the idea of Raph being the impulse control for once with this iteration, and just the second he’s out of commission the other three go insane.

Weapons of War, Bioengineered Killing Machines, Manufactured Supersoldiers Rottmnt turtles my BELOVEDS

And maybe just like,,, set Leo and Donnie loose on one of the other dimensions and have them absolutely horrifically annihilate their counterparts’ villains while they watch on in horror

(B.E.A.S.T. was SUCH a good fic you guys oh my GOSH go read it I’m begging you-)

I NEED to have it addressed in fic form that the Rise turtles are fundamentally different than all their other counterparts, because their counterparts? They were accidents. Just a couple of turtles splashed with mutagen and oh look now they’re people but Green. (Huge oversimplification I’m aware but hear me out okay-)

But the Rise boys were created. They were specifically designed to be weapons of mass destruction. They were built with the intent to cause harm which means they were bioengineered to be stronger, smarter(?), faster, to heal quicker, to have the capacity to take hard hits while dishing out even harder ones, they were literally forged with a purpose to kill.

Add on their mystic powers? Then their unlocked Ninpo? You can’t honestly tell me that these four aren’t the strongest and potentially deadliest version of themselves out there.

Yes they still had to learn things, as did the other iterations, they weren’t immediately good (that much is obvious, like c’mon it’s IN the name) but I don’t think the other iterations possess the same instincts as these guys do. They’re just so. Unhinged. They’ve all had their moments in the show I think where it’s obvious they’re not really,,, stable. I love them.

In a plain fists only, maybe weapons, no powers fight, I do think some of the other iterations would win, but purely because they have way more experience than these guys do. (If I did any crossovers I’d say 2003 and 2012 are definitely older than these guys, especially if we’re basing this at the end of their shows) But put them against each other when they’re still at the same level? Rise is whooping butt, I know where I’m placing my bets. It’s called RISE of the TMNT for a reasonnnnnn they’re not there yet but they WILL BE, and as of the end of s2 and the movie I say they’re finally THERE.

I have no idea how this turned into a headcanon rant this was just supposed to be me asking for fic recs hsgdjdjdk it’s almost 3 am tho so whatever sorry if none or only some of this is incoherent o7 o/

Editing this with a list of fics I have been graciously recommended below the cut:

Firefight by remrose [43/43 chapters 222k words] (edit: JUST FINISHED READING ch38-42 WATCH ME BAWL MY EYES OUT I was rotating them in my brain all morning at work) less on the feral side, more on the gut-wrenching angst side, still Disaster Twins and still super good

In Which Donnie and Leo Make Themselves Everyone Else's Problem in an NYC That Isn't Even Their Own by YukiSkyes [7/? chapters, 18k words] the CLASSIC “the Disaster Twins are unapologetically causing chaos” fic, always a delight to read

The Lemonade Leak by TurtleSoupSwimmer [27/37 chapters, 143k words] I’m being told it’s very true to the theme here, and it’s very angsty, a suspenseful psychological thriller, and will make you scream at your phone. I for one am very intrigued

Eschatology by aenor_llelo, Alderous, ConcoctionsFromHell, izziel_galaxy, Jaybird314, Otakuforlife19, and Rocket999 [17/17 chapters, 344k words] “HEAVY on the boys being biologically engineered to destroy the world, it also delves into so much character building and worldbuilding that we never got in canon, and it gives even super minor characters the chance to shine” Sounds intriguing, AND it’s a BNHA crossover which I am a big fan of :D

The Hunter’s Bible also by TurtleSoupSwimmer [2/2 chapters, 15k words] Rated Mature, contains themes of SA and c@nnibalism so PLEASE keep that in mind!! Not a fic for the faint of heart this is a Dead Dove: Do Not Eat! The SA is only attempted, and never shown, only implied, and it’s only in ch 1, but the other stuff is fairly descriptive and takes place in ch 2. All that being said, flipping UNHINGED, just about lost my mind in ch 2, it was entertaining in a surreal kinda way if you get what I mean. Funky little feral creatures

[n9nebuttonz]

Another AU of mine called Bite Sized (the turtles are bite sized,, get it? ... Ha)

in a nutshell: Raph is a yokai that's 16 years older than his mutant brothers,, fluff and angst ensues

also caprisun is in the AU

Because I love them

[shootingstarrfish]

giggling and kicking my feet lookie its him!!!!!!!

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I think is cute is that - y’know how Raph’s eyes are more on the yellow side?

Well, you know who also has slightly yellowed eyes? Donnie.

While Raph’s are more yellow, I think it’s cute that this is something that they share and I don’t see it pointed out too often?

It’s also something they both share with Draxum and Splinter’s current form (though again, these two have much more yellow sclera than the boys do.)

But yeah, I like that there’s this little detail that ties Raph and Donnie together, even if it’s small.

[brookbee]

Mick Jagger has earned a reputation for being a diva—in large part due to when he gets fed up with a situation, he’ll propel himself into the sky and not be seen for hours. Such was the case while filming the video for “Dancing in the Street” in 1985. Despite the interruption, however, David Bowie remained a true professional and continued filming what could be accomplished until Jagger returned from his ascension into the sky.

[edelweiss-of-christ]

so the city i arrived in 2 days ago, which has had my luggage for 3 days now, attempted to deliver my luggage yesterday but the delivery guy forgot my bag at the airport, and now the airport is claiming it's not their problem. please pray that i get my bag back and that i can remain patient despite it all

[ace-of-garlic-breads]

I remembered this template thingies existed and I was ✨️inspired✨️

(Template)

[cokowiii]

Work sketches! I’m 7-ish hours in and craving caffeine:)

[sgartiste]

🎶 On the twelfth day of Cross-mas some weirdo gave to me~

Twelve movies stolen~

Eleven pirates brawling~

A 10k-foot drunkard~

Nine snails a-yapping~

Eight flippers slapping~

Seven toms a-peeping~

Six fits of laughter~

FIIIIIIVE KUNG-FU SEEEEEALS~

Four matching shirts~

Three “expies”~

Two Unluckies~

And your favorite Bee Arr Oh Beeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!~ 🎶

[aprilmr]

I need to physically get into the infamous universe so I could watch a dozen videos in a row titled "[MC] and 7 being a divorced couple for 10 minutes not straight" or some shit you know what I mean

[baskaromai]

I killed myself 50 times in my head this year and it's only January.

[triglycercule]

mtt mediveal au where horror and dust are rulers of 2 rival kingdoms and killer is an assassin or whatever the hell both of them coincidentally hired to kill the other. this is actually just an excuse to see how badly i can misspell medviel until i get it right by sheer luck

[quadrantadvisor]

I can't stop thinking about like. Post Batman vs the TMNT movie there's some sort of crisis in New York, so Batman sends some of his team to help, and tells them to meet up with his "contacts" in the area. Let's say Dick, Jason, Steph, and Tim, so it can be a Robin roadtrip and not include anyone who's met the turtles before. They keep calling them "the turtles" but no one ever actually explains what their deal is. Babs apparently chats with one of them online fairly frequently. Damian will only say that they were "surprisingly formidable" and reminds the travellers not to shame Father's name in front of their allies. Apparently someone named "Young Master Michaelangelo" is the one who gave Alfred that skateboard that's inexplicably been put on display. Bruce FINALLY explains that they're the last surviving members of the Hamato ninja clan, and thus the world's only practitioners of an ancient style of ninjutsu. Their "ways are rather strange," but Bruce found them to be "dedicated and trustworthy."

So the Robins roll up to New York expecting some stoic ninja masters, and instead end up in a sewer surrounded by chaos teens and a geriatric rat.

"Are you... meta humans?"

"Nope! We started out as normal turtles and got mutated by a toxic green ooze :D"

"..."

[blitzbuckz]

I'm a dragon lizard :> *bites you all* ( affectionally )

[kattartsblog]

Rated: M for Mature

Warnings: light neck biting, oc x canon, make out, crack fic

Author's Note: Back when I was first writing Makina, I wanted her to end up with Murderface. This did not pan out when I began outlining “Medusa Ex Makina” in detail. However, I thought it would be funny for April Fools to let this crack ship sail for today.

Another tour, another set of groupies, and Murderface was left out of the fun. A gaggle of hot ladies had followed the rest of Dethklok to their respective rooms for their ‘VIP time’. The bassist knew the drill by now, he was to either be in his room beating his meat to the sounds of his fellow band mates having the time of their lives or watch TV in the living room alone and lay on the couch wallowing in his own self hatred. Murderface had nothing to lose and waltzed over to the living room. However, he wasn't entirely alone. There on the couch was Nathan’s protégé, Makina. She was eased back into the sofa. “Hey, mind if I join you?” Murderface asked. Makina’s ears perked up as she noticed his iconic lateral lisp. “Yeah, sure. Fuck if I care.” the Raven haired rookie replied as she patted the cushion next to her. 

“What’cha watching?” he asked while taking his seat. “It's that one movie with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.” Makina replied. “It's a stupid movie, I mean she's only falling for him because she actually feels something for him at the end. It's unrealistic as hell!”

“Sounds like you've seen this movie before.” Murderface snickered. “I did, but there's nothing good on so who gives a shit.” Makina pouted, as she crossed her arms dramatically. “Do you want to change the channel to check?” the bassist asked. “Not really.”

“Why not?” Murderface questioned. Makina didn't answer, her focus was back on the TV. He sighed as he put his arm on the top of the sofa. What was just a few minutes felt like hours had gone by. His attention went to Makina, her eyes fluttered a bit as she accidentally leaned onto her side getting closer to the bassist. Makina lifted her feet onto the couch and laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat a bit faster.

Murderface took this as an opportunity to scoop the singer up in his arms, placing one arm under her breast. Makina placed her hands on his forearm, bringing it closer to her. He took notice and rested his cheek on top of the singer’s head, he hummed as he snuggled up with her. Murderface cracked a smile, as Makina’s slow breathing was matching his. 

The two were usually at each other’s throats, squabbling about trivial matters or getting into violent fights. But for once in their putrid lives, there was a sense of calm between them. “Hey Makina. Wanna do something really dumb?” he asked. Makina turned her head just a tad, humming in response. The bassist rarely called her by her first name unless he was going to say something serious. “What if we made out?” suggested Murderface. Makina's eyes shot open, “What?”

“I mean… in this moment. You actually look really pretty right now. And kissable too.”

“Where the hell is all this coming from, hmm?” she asked with what was supposed to be an annoyed tone, but sounded a bit playful underneath. “I don't fucking know, but Makina I-” 

Before Murderface could answer, the Raven haired woman shifted her body to where she could face him. Her chest was now laying on his stomach, while his arm was still holding her in place. Their eyes met, his warm spring green eyes stared back at her amber browns. The air became tense, Murderface's heart began to race faster as Makina slowly blinked back at him. Murderface loosened his grip, shifted his body onto the couch, and brought both of his hands to reach for Makina's sides. The vocalist sat up in response as she began repositioning herself to lay on top of him, her hands placed firmly on his chest. Makina's legs straddled him as the two felt a sudden heat. 

Without even a second thought, Murderface gingerly rubbed her back with one hand and brought the other to her face. She promptly pushed her cheek into his dry blistered palms. “Promise me you won't brag about this to the guys, ok William?” Makina whispered, the bassist’s heart pinged at his first name being used. “I promise.” Murderface softly replied. Makina leaned in, closing her eyes. The film in the background still played as the main character made it back to see his lover. It was perfect timing as Makina and Murderface mirrored the pair on screen, locking lips and kissing tenderly. At first it was just small pecks, which then evolved into longer and more drawn out. Eventually, this led Murderface to let his tongue inside her mouth. He brought her head closer to him as she wiggled her arms around his neck to get into a more comfortable position. Makina’s tongue wrapped around his till Murderface pulled away. 

“I forgot you have that long tongue of yours.” He commented as the long appendage hung from her mouth. Makina realized her tongue was practically deep throating the bassist, she sheepishly looked to the side while sliding her tongue back into her mouth. “Why did you stop?” he asked. “This is the part where people usually get turned off and leave.” she said disappointingly. Murderface had always made fun of the way her tongue was abnormally long like a giraffe, or how gross it always looked. But tonight was different, he needed to have her close to him at this moment. He inhaled sharply and pulled her towards him, frenching the vocalist once more. Makina squeaked in surprise and soon they were back into the rhythm they had previously. The bassist stroked her back with each deepening kiss, reassuring her that he wasn't going anywhere. Makina moaned a bit into his mouth, savoring the flavor of his tongue onto hers as she began to peel away her hoodie revealing her strapless black tube top. 

The movie’s credits began to roll and the next film started to play. Makina pulled away and looked up to see the opening credits of ‘10 things I hate about you.’ “Oh great, an even worse rom com.” Makina stated, rolling her eyes. Murderface gingerly pushed Makina’s cheek, “Forget about that shit, pay attention to me.” He whispered as he caressed the vocalist, she pressed her forehead to his, tightening the gap between them. Murderface glided his thumb from the corner of her mouth to the top of her cheekbone. Makina smirked at the gentleness she was receiving as stands of her hair landed on the bassist's face. She lowered her head on to the crook of Murderface's neck and gently began to kiss it. “What do you think you're doing there?” He cooed, Makina didn't answer. Murderface then felt small little nibbles along his neck and hissed, as she continued to suck on his flesh. 

Makina then lifted her head and saw the black stained kisses outlining the mark she inflicted upon him. She then took a look at the rest of his face. His lips were stained black as if he ate a slice of black frosted cake. “Oops, guess they're gonna know anyway.” Makina shrugged playfully. “Cause of the hickey?”

“No dumbass, your lips.” Murderface paused and licked his lips, he could taste the flavor of the lipstick on his tongue. “So, wanna keep going baby?”

“Oh, don't start calling me baby, dickhead.” Makina replied sharply. Murderface quickly kissed her cheek, “But seriously, I do wanna keep doing this for shits and giggles. Wanna take it to your room?” Makina asked. Murderface smirked and nodded, jackpot. 

Makina got off of Murderface and grabbed the remote from the coffee table to turn off the TV. Murderface stood holding out his hand, the singer quickly tied her hoodie around her waist and grabbed it. He began leading her down the hallway towards his bedroom, “Don't think this’ll be an all the time thing, tomorrow it's back to our violent routine.” Makina stated as she leaned into his arm lovingly. “I know, but tonight you're mine.” the bassist murmured, Makina scoffed sarcastically at the lame attempt at a flirtatious remark. Murderface was glad that he didn't watch TV alone.

[the-immortal-restless]

I had a dream where Casey jones Sr was the daughter of rush parents who neglected and abused her, the turtles and Casey jr finds out and Casey jr doesn’t say a word before he goes inside and actually berates his grandparents before leaving

It was a lot more complicated but I needed to tell someone