#As if anything he did was defendable already

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

This is long, but i need to get this out of my chest:

I have made so many post defending Penelope when people talked about her issues, her traumas but right now i feel like defending Colin.

As a woman, sometimes i naturally tend to feel defensive and shield the girl but i need to be fair here. Colin's feelings and trust were deeply hurt, Colin is insecure, soft, thoughtful, introspective, sensitive and suffers with a inferiority complex, and he struggles to know his place in society and among the people he loves, on what he should do and the expectations of society from a 22 years old man.

What many don't seem to realize is that Colin, even before knowing Penelope is LW, was very insecure about what she loves in him ( and even if she did in fact love him, because she was about to marry someone else), about being worth of her, he says he wants to do something, to publish his diaries because he wants her to be proud of him…he already didn't think he was good enough for and to her. Colin is insecure about not being good enough in every aspect of his life, tbh. His lack of purpose, faith in himself and on others loving him from whom he is runs deep. His moment of vulnerability telling how much Penelope not answering to his letters affected him, his family too was very revealing. Him screaming at Pen with tears in his eyes that he felt foolish that she read his diaries and praised him as something special. This is something i've noticed even in other seasons too. The family not caring much about his need to connect and his somewhat strained relationship with Anthony, who wasn't really a good male figure to him. It's about male ego? A bit, but it's deeper than that in the series.

Another issue is, he put Pen in a pedestal too ( much like Pen did until 2x8), to be honest, and that is never a good thing, because people are not perfect. And he needed to learn all that. There is disappointment there. But, again, it goes further. It’s him not knowing her as he thinks he should. It’s him perceiving her humanity but reflecting on his own. We have to remember he's so happy because Pen chose him, because he thinks now he's someone's priority and he's someone's focus. He has the immature idea that you should be everything in every way to the person you love, and if you can't be their protector and the hero in their eyes, why should anyone love you?

Then he finds out…and his worldview crumbles. Not only Penelope broke his trust and hurt him deeply - and she never told him and never would have - and it wasn't just himself but his family too, but she shattered his belief he knew and connected with her better than almost anyone else, she shattered his barely there newly found confidence and sense of purpose, what he thought was his sense of self now. All modern sensibilities tend to be ruffled about this, but i think it's a fitting conflict that he would have issues with her being so self-sufficient, so successful while he believes himself to be less, way less than her, so to Colin she doesn't need him, and if she doesn't need him, why would she love him? Why should she love him?

Again, there is the side of him conflicted about knowing her. The pedestal was broken, because she lied to him. She is this powerful, talented, successful woman on her own, not just the pretty shy girl with sweetness and great witty personality that he loves, the one that thinks the world of him. She talked about him, she criticized him and while it rings true deep down, it rings devastation, because she could see beyond his farce and it makes him look and feel pathetic.

So he's struggling with two things: on how to love her, all of her, and how to feel good enough for her, love himself. He's trying to accept her new wonderful aspects and her hurtful flaws because he never stopped loving her, in no moment we see anything but love when that man looks at her, when that man is crying because of her and his deep sadness and longing, his anger is laced with so much love for her. He's angry at her but mostly at himself and he needs to figure it out a way to feel like he deserves to be loved by her. It fuels his issues and he also over compensates.

His hang ups with LW becomes his tangible target. Not only he sees as a dangerous thing to her, it puts her at risk, and with that in mind he can put himself in a role of her protector again, but he fixates on the idea that without Whistledown she's the Pen that he can believe is able to love him even if he's not good enough. Without Whistledown she's not so much above him and not so far from him, because Whistledown is her critical eye, it's Penelope appraising people very analytically and if she looks closely, he doesn't think she will see much in him, as she proved before with he S3 ep1 comment. He wants to get rid of it.

Sure, he's jealous too, he envies her success but exactly because he resents how much that makes him less worthy. It's also another thing that he thinks she's putting above him. He couldn't see clearly that it wasn't something outside herself (and he gets it after), but part of who she is, and all of those parts loves him. It's foolish and it's nonsensical because he doesn't understand that she has seen his flaws but she loves him anyway. He needed reassurance just as much as Pen needed. He needed her to keep on telling she loved him and why, because it heals him.

Some people were upset he didn't make love to her that day he went to get a blanket, but i get it. He wants it, he wants her so badly, you can see it. Colin has problems communicating and doing what he wants because he feels pathetic, jealous and that makes him feel worse, makes him feel shame. It’s him, not her that was the issue at that point. His connection with her runs deeper, it's respecting her and himself, with all the conflicted feelings why he didn’t.

It’s a slow process and i’m bloody glad it took its time to be resolved. But he starts understanding that his way wont help them, it wont bring them closer. He wont solve things by controlling and being the hero. He can’t change the past, he can’t change who they are. He wont solve anything by repressing his love.

Pen words help him figuring out a lot, her spoken words directed to him and her written words that he reads again. She needs him. She tells him she needs him and his love, not grand actions. He can show love and be worthy by supporting her. He starts to understand and ACCEPT that Whistledown is Pen, and loving Pen will include that part of her personality. He grasps that it was always there and it never made a difference in how much she loved being around him and him her, how much attention she dedicated to him, how much her words, in her letters, were full of admiration for him, to her love to him, how much she is his special person. She needs him just as much he needs her, she needs his love, his charm, his intelligence, his humor, his integrity, she needs him because without him she doesn’t feel complete, she doesn’t feel happy. He’s a good man, a fine man that makes her happy, always have. And he realizes she inspires him, she always had, and that isn't a problem, that having her helping him is not a problem, because he helps her too in many ways. It’s only when he can accept himself as equal and entitled to her love as she is to his that they could truly be together and happy.

Colin had the right to feel hurt, had the right to have his insecurities, had the right to need time and had the right to need space, had the right to lash out, had the right to come to term with the changes and surprises life threw at him, specially as a sensitive person that he very much is, and i'm glad the show didn't rush that.

[acid-ixx]

prequel: again &. again. (platonic! yandere batfam x neglected! gn reader)

read until the end for an author's note.

what hurts more when it comes to neglectful batfam that adopted you after jason's death (that eventually turns a 360 after you have left) is probably the fact that they always had time for you, it's just that they never chose to spend it on you; an extra burden to their family rather than an addition. if they had time to spend, they spend it on anything or anyone else but you. it's not that you don't share interests with them, it's just...! they have way more priorities that push you further back into their list of 'to do's'; though you know you'll always be the last of that list.

bruce has to juggle so many tasks as the billionaire playboy "brucie wayne", a father of an ever growing family, and gotham's dark knight vigilante but somehow, you're aware he could easily fit in one or two more children into his already booked schedule— he just never seems to consider you worthy enough apparently. or maybe it was because you were too silent, you set boundaries compared to your other family who are outspoken about what they want, what they need— but there's one thing for sure that sets you off from your siblings; you're not a vigilante.

you were merely a child of a one night stand; a child raised too well. you were behaved, you never complained, and you were just, you. and being normal (at least in their level of extraordinary talents were you a mere droplet) amongst a family of talented individuals makes you easily a ghost. was bruce to blame with his neglect? definitely. if he was able to balance his life so easily, then maybe as the world's best detective would he notice you packing your things day by day without update. maybe that was why you never once hesitated the moment you stepped outside the manor, permanently.

dick's excuse would always be "sorry, baby bird! but i promised to spar with damian today. ah, but you can watch from the sidelines!" or he would be too busy saving bludhaven to even acknowledge your presence. sure, he smiles at you with those shiny teeth of his, but despite him looking at you, he never notices you for more than a second, right after he would skidadle his way to another sibling's room, bothering them to spend more time with him, never you though. it occurs to you that he has only entered your bedroom once, and that occurrence was years ago. even then, he didn't last a minute inside there before running away once more.

family matters more than anything to dick. hell, he was enraged at the announcement of jason's death and even beat joker to a bloody pulp when he realized tim fell into his hands. he's ready to defend damian, barbara, steph, cass, and duke with his life. it's his duty and obligation as the family's eldest brother, of course. but were you considered family to him? were you considered a sibling in his eyes, or were you just the resident roommate of the mansion? you question that endlessly because everyone, family and friends, seem to be smitted with dick, but you eventually gave up trying to vye for his attention. it's fine, really, if you were just another civilian to him, because he was just another person to you too. just like in a circus, you would always be the intermission rather than the main event. and with that, you take your leave.

jason was the most forgivable to you, second to tim. he was never there, and he would've probably put effort into spending time with you if not for the fact he despises bruce and the mansion and wouldn't and couldn't last a second stepping into it. he never met you when he was robin, it was only right after his death did he discover were you taken in and that added fact alongside tim being his replacement turned him bitter with resentment. though his hatred for you receded over time, he wouldn't really be caught taking a minute with you because he always sneaks inside the mansion and crime in gotham never seems to lessen. because of that, and your unwillingness to become a vigilante to kick ass with him and the others, he wouldn't be able to fully take an hour with you.

casual talks are unavoidable, though, when at the dead of the night he would be caught sneaking in to eat some leftovers and you were conveniently awake at the same time as him. he'll recommend you some classic literature he read or 'cafes/restaurants that criminals visit the least' lists, but before it would turn into a full conversation, jason would already be wearing his signature mask again, and with a pat on your head and a "talk to you soon, can't guarantee it'll be tomorrow again though, only here for alfred's meals of course," and he'll be gone. you shouldn't have let your hopes high, you wished you didn't because, duh! he wasn't there to talk to you, specifically. you were just there to bide his time! wiping tears away from your eyes, and with a heavy heart, you book an apartment away from the wayne manor with your own atm card; hope irreversibly dead and unable to revive a sliver of faith, even if it was dipped in the lazarus pit would it never come back as the same.

tim drake is always tired. just like bruce, his days are filled with investigation, crime fighting, and worst of all; high school. that's of course that least of his worries the moment he drops out. tim was never the guy to talk much. he only does when he needs to make an impression for others, or when he needs to manipulate people for potential information. his life revolved around fighting, from when he solved the case of bruce wayne and dick grayson being batman and robin respectively, up to his current identity as red robin and occasionally robin. he'll often be found in the batcave working with babs on a case or working alone in his room.

it's no mistake that you were the most distant to him, never once knowing about his interests or even hobbies and vice versa. it was a given that at the very moment you pass a glance at him, you knew it was a 'mind your business' type of relationship with him. if you were a mere ghost to dick, then you were just a spec of dust to tim. it was unfair to assume he would never care for you, he does! only in a way where you were another person to save if you ever were endangered, but would that be enough to stalk you to the point he gains every insight about you? not really. you weren't one of his friends, like kon who he would spend weekly video game challenges with; and you probably don't exist as his sibling in his own little world filled with coffee and computers. yeah, your feelings about leaving him weren't as bitter as the caffeine he drowns in his system, but you were still hurt either way.

damian wayne, from his birth, was taught and raised to prioritize his mission as an al ghul, to be the one continuing the legacy and to shed blood on anyone who opposes. when he was given over to bruce, it took a hell lot of effort to turn a new page and become the next robin. it was, with no doubt, that despite his 'redemption', he would be a tad bit crueler to you than the others. unlike tim, who he persistently bothers, you were untalented, worthless, and a stain on the reputation of the wayne's. even jason, his father's greatest mistake, had more value than you.

maybe it was fine-tuned jealousy, maybe he was mirroring his father and dick's actions towards you with his own sick twist of violence. either way, you would rather avoid the boy, lest you face the wrath of his sword. it wouldn't be wrong if you came to hate him, actually you do, but despite your endless game of cat and mouse with you as the unwilling victim of the chase, your poor heart couldn't fathom the thought of not excusing his actions as that of a child's. you tell yourself everyday, 'just ignore it, he was raised like as to be a menace after all' but you can't deny the bitterness and the clenching of your teeth whenever you stumble upon a room and see your father and your younger brother watching a movie together. the resentment eventually builds up until you blow up and just, give up. within your final moments in the manor, you figured to leave some belongings that you collected overtime that were supposedly memorabilias that you wish to show off to your family. like his pieces of art, you could only explain your life in the family as black and white and as bleak as the streaks of charcoal that rubs against the pages.

when dick was jogging through the desolate halls of the manor, he noticed the place seemed to be more... empty of some sort. and he knows pushing that feeling into the back of his head would only result in more questions than answers. so he decides to enter the spare rooms one by one until he comes across your room (he doesn't know it was yours, though), turning the knob without knocking.

that was when his eyes seem to dilate. his nose catched a faint whiff of bleach (was the room deep-cleaned?), vision seemingly closing in on the few furniture left alongside a diary and other boxes left neatly on your bed, with other smaller trinkets left untouched on your bedside table. he didn't remember you mentioning anything about leaving, hell, he doesn't want to admit his lack of memories about you but—

wait...

didn't he promise to take you out for dinner months ago...?

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

a/n: this is one of my favorite pieces of writing i have ever done and i like it a lot so i hope whoever reads this likes it too. if you all want to read more of this, then please leave a comment or reblog because i heavily appreciate it and it motivates me further to write this type of content! the reason i have come to a long hiatus is because, as stated, the lack of interaction with content. like i said, i will still write for genshin but i am open to expanding my fandom list. (p.s. i hope you like the way i had to connect their interests or a part of their past to the reader.)

heavily inspired by @klemen-tine's work: Glass Bones and Paper Skin, @gotham-daydreams' work: Not [], and @onmyyan's work: Ain't No Sunshine.

[i-am-baechu]

♬ Summary: After Y/N tells him something that makes him have bad dreams, Jungkook will do anything to show her that this is the right universe for her. Even though she already knows that 

♬ Pairing: Established relationship; Jungkook x reader 

♬ Rating:  Explicit (18+) 

♬Genre: Established relationship, comedy, fluff, and smut

♬ Warnings: Smut 

♬ Part of, ‘ His Fan Girl

♬ Author’s note: Special guest lol and Part two to Seven 

♬ Playlist: POV - Ariana Grande

Y/N sat in the back and smiled to herself. This was the first time she actually met Mingyu in person. She actually talked to him through facetime on accident and him being an extrovert was happy to make a new friend. Especially if that friend is his best friend's fiancé.  

Jungkook just released his single Seven and Y/N couldn’t be happier for him. She felt bubbly at the song but she does everything in her power to ignore the explicit version. Even though Jungkook sings it to her everyday. She knew the song would do good and the music video shows how clingy he is when he’s in love. Army loved the song and the accomplishments that he did with the song amazed her. She knew Army powers but it always surprises her. 

She let out a laugh when Mingyu messed up the choreography and her laugh only got louder when she saw Jungkook glare at him, “Mingyu, I told you to learn the choreography!”

“I was learning it!”

She shook her head and stood up from the ground. She walked towards them and placed her hand on Jungkook, “Be nice to him. He has a lot of choreographers in his mind.”

Jungkook pouted at this and turned towards her, “Don’t defend him.” 

“No, Y/N, defend me.” 

She leaned forward placing a kiss on Jungkook’s cheek, “Just re-do it. No harm in re-doing it.” 

He rolled his eyes and nodded his head, “Fine but you need to film one with me.” 

“Whatever you want, love.” 

She sat back down and watched them do it again. She took out a bag of cookies from her pocket and nibbled as the two argued about the lighting. She picked up a water bottle and looked at Mingyu, “Mingyu, you should have some water.”

Mingyu smiled at her and glared at Jungkook, “At least someone is nice to me.”

“She’s an extension of me which means I’m being nice to you.” 

After an hour, they finally got the clip and Jungkook shared it on Tik Tok. The drive home was quiet and a thought came to her mind. She let out a small laugh and tiredly turned towards Jungkook, “You know...I wasn’t supposed to go to the BTS concert all those years ago.” 

Jungkook raised his eyebrow and glanced at her through the mirror, “What do you mean?”

“My cousin had tickets for Seventeen. Her mom upgraded her tickets to meet and greet tickets at the last minute.”

“Yo-You were going to meet Seventeen?” 

“I was but I declined because I had a test the next day. I didn’t really think about it until I saw Mingyu today.”

Jungkook nodded his head in a nervous manner and then looked back at her, “Who’s your bias?” 

She let out a small laugh and leaned back in the seat with her eyes slightly closed, “Why?”

“Just curious...” 

“Honestly, I like all of them. I don’t have a bias. I’m going to take a nap okay...I’m tired from work.”

Jungkook nodded his head and rubbed thigh gently as he stared at the road, “Get some sleep babe. I’ll wake you up when we get there.” 

It’s been a week since this conversation and Jungkook has been having dreams about it. What if Y/N went to that concert? He would’ve never met her and he would probably still be single. The possibilities of her being with someone else never crossed his mind because it was always them together. Nothing more and nothing less. It was another night and Jungkook was sound asleep well, trying to be. The mind is a dangerous place. 

“Jungkook, I have someone I want you to meet.”

Jungkook put down his papers and turned to see Mingyu smiling at him, “Oh? Who?”

He moved to the side and there was Y/N. She was dressed in a pink floral dress with her hair in a low pony-tail. He felt his heartbeat go faster at the sight of her, “This is my girlfriend, Y/N L/N.”

He glanced at Mingyu and then back at Y/N, “Girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, I met her at a meet and greet. I saw how shy she was and I couldn’t stop myself.”

She shyly smiled and gently smacked his arm, “Gyu...stop it.” 

Mingyu wrapped his arm around her waist and smiled at Jungkook, “Y/N, this my close friend, Jeon Jungkook.” 

Jungkook couldn’t stop staring at her and he felt guilty. This was his best friend's girlfriend and here he was looking at her like she was his. He shook his head and smiled, “He-Hey.” 

She bowed her head at him and offered him a smile, “Hello.”

Mingyu leaned down and kissed the top of her head, “I’m happy you can meet her.” 

Jungkook shot up in his bed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly, “Fuck.” He glanced to the side to see Y/N sleeping with the plushie that he won her at a festival. He smiled to himself and pushed some hair off of her forehead. His touch wasn’t light enough and she moved in her sleep. She opened her eyes and frowned at him, “Are you okay, babe?” 

He sighed and looked down at the blanket, “It’s stupid.”

She slowly got up and she wrapped her arms around his arm with a worried look, “It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you baby. Take your time.” 

He sighed and glanced down at her, “It’s something about last week that happened...I’ve been thinking about it.” 

She frowned and thought to herself, “Is it because I ate your noodles? I’m sorry-”

“What? You ate my noodles?”

She let go of his arm and frowned, “Yeah....is that not what you're talking about right now? 

“No...you owe me noodles though.” 

She let out a small laugh and pushed some hair off of his forehead, “What’s bothering you then?”

“You were supposed to go to a Seventeen concert...instead of mine.”

She nodded her head and her face shifted in confusion, “Yes? I declined it, remember?” 

“I know...but my mind is making up situations. In another universe you would’ve been with one of them instead of me.” 

She frowned at this and hugged his arm, “Well, it didn’t happen baby. It was fate for me to decline and it was fate that we met.” 

He glanced down at her, “Yeah?” 

“Yeah, you're my everything. Jungkook. Is that why you’ve been sending me flowers everyday?” 

“Well, you deserve all the flowers in the world and also yes.” 

She let out a laugh and kissed the side of his head, “I appreciate the flowers but baby, I always want you. In every universe.” 

The next moments were blurred but the only thing she knew was that Jungkook was cock deep inside of her. His body pushing hers into the mattress. His hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and she couldn’t help but admire his dark brown eyes in the lighting. She pushed some hair away and he stopped mid thrust to look at her. She smiled and leaned up the best she could, placing her lips gently on his, “How could I want someone else?” 

He brought his hand and gently touched her face like she was made out of glass, “I hate that I thought of that. Will you ever forgive me?” 

She clenched at this question causing him to moan, “I will...you have a whole lifetime with me to do so.” 

He chuckled at this and gently thrusted into her making her eyes close, “I will do two lifetimes to get you to forgive me.” 

“Jung-Jungkook, this isn’t a competition.” 

“Y/N, you are the woman that I dreamed about when I was younger. The manifestation of every thought of what I want in a partner. I love you, I love you. You are not only my garden but the sun to my garden. My wife.”

She felt her heartbeat faster at his confession and leaned up to bring him in a passionate kiss. He returned the passion (maybe even gave more) and let out a dreamy sigh against his lips, “You’ve been watching too much Netflix.” 

He let out a laugh and kissed her again, “It’s the truth. I love Jeon Y/N.”

She let out a laugh and pressed her forehead against his, “I love you more.” 

“Impossible.” 

Her eyes fluttered closed when she felt another thrust. She couldn’t stop herself from clenching and he groaned at the feeling. The pure feeling of overstimulation and pleasure was taking over, “Jung-”

“I know.” 

She let out a moan at affirmation and he placed a kiss in the crock of her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he rocks against her. His hips sutter and she felt his fingers digging deep into her skin as he climaxed inside of her. 

He pushed hair away from her forehead and kissed it as she was dazed out, “This is the right universe. Always with me, always. I love you.” 

[wouriqueen]

2x06 thoughts - part 3 - Armand & co

He needed a whole section for himself because he's a freak

Masterclass of playing of the victim

"I can't do anything about the coven." "I'm protecting myself from Daniel Molloy." He's so funny and evil. The audacity the manipulation the lies. It's to the point where I might have to subscribe to the idea that he's got to believe some of what he's saying. Otherwise it's too big.

Armand and Claudia

"Thank you for never treating me like a child" + Claudia apologizing to Armand... Despite her fear of being put aside by Louis for Armand, and her resentment at Louis endangering her for the sake of his relationship with Armand, Claudia has always made sure to show respect for Armand and his position. She did her job. She spoke up respectfully. Stuff she didn't even owe him considering he strangled her and threatened to kill her over literally nothing. She went to him to get approval for turning Madeleine. When they meet again with Madeleine and Louis, she apologizes to him for the conflict he went through with the coven, even though that was mainly about Louis, and even though it started way before she even had any idea of turning anyone or going anywhere.

And right after that apology he lets her get kidnapped and killed. Just like her apology to Lestat was met with ugly mockery and eventually assault :(

"She's worth having" not the objectification.

"You'll come together again" (about Louis and Claudia) I know he believed that and I know that's why he let her die. Because he didn't want that. I know it.

"It's forbidden, Claudia doesn't want his (Lestat's) blood" Says the guy who called her Claudia de Lioncourt!!! And he's so disrespectful, saying that to Louis' face even though Louis was there when he called her that (and I liked that he defended her). Now you respect her wishes to not be associated with Lestat?

There's so many more hypocritical moments in general but I might just list them in another post.

Armand and Louis

Louis sick and tired of "Yes, Maître" My absolute favorite scene is at the park when Louis asks Armand to witness Madeleine turning, Armand tries to turn it into a "Maître" situation, and Louis immediately shuts down. He does kind of play into it with a nonchalant order but he also makes it clear he dislikes it. He just wanted to ask his boyfriend for a favor... He's already tired of having to play that game every time he asks for something that matters to him and they haven't even left Paris! Armand apologizes, but does he truly understand?

Not to mention, given the nasty looks Louis was throwing Madeleine before the bite, I'm sure he felt lonely. Having Armand by his side would have eased the feeling of loss (as Claudia said, "to get something you must lose something" but what he was getting didn't show up).

Armand moving in. I know Claudia herself wasn't really living at the apartment anymore but the way Armand moved in as soon as she left town aghdjshuis

Daniel spelling it out. Too bad that it had to be done that way for people to get it, but I'm glad Daniel pointed out how Armand's submission to Louis was only when it was convenient to him. It was always obvious. Hopefully the bad discourse around it dies down!

Armand, Louis and Daniel

Vampire apologies and dubious alliances. Armand apologizes to Daniel for the memory edit. He has to be prompted to apologize about the attempted murder. He does not apologize for the torture. Daniel is holding onto the shared outrage and the connection he found with Louis earlier, and at first they're kind of a team, but in the end it's not quite going as planned.

Poor Daniel is about to find out what it really feels like to sit on the outskirts of Louis' relationships. He better re-read those diaries for reference...

Vampire hackers and the Talamasca. WHAT is going on with that though? Armand asking about the suddenly encrypted laptop means he regularly snoops around in there, no? And why is he asking Rashid about Daniel's outing as if he can't read both their minds. He knows for sure. But why not just come out with it?

Anyway those were my thoughts, I loved the episode.

2x06 thoughts - part 1 - Madeleine & co

2x06 thoughts - part 2 - Claudia & Louis

[pupyr0arz]

Real quick Gaz/reader temporary breakup 📞

The phone rings, once, twice. Just long enough for you to fleetingly wonder if this is the time he won’t pick up, the time he’s moved on, or even something horrible happened.

Garrick picks up, like always. He doesn’t say anything, yoou never expect him to. He doesn’t call, doesn’t text first, you’re sure if you were in a room with him he’d be perfectly content with ignoring you until you walked up to him.

“Are you busy?” You forfeit plausible deniability, and your pride.

“Always,” Garrick tells you back, the fondness of his tone grating your already shot nerves, “but never too much for you.” 

It’s a talent of his to sound so insufferably, ephemerally smug. You know he’s winning, he knows he’s winning, and you’re helplessly trying to find a foothold to defend your position. Until he convinces you to abandon it like everything else.

God this is pathetic. You’re being pathetic. You need to actually grow a spine today. 

“How did you get my address? I didn’t tell you I moved.” He laughs easily, your irritation breaking over him without so much of a fight. “I’m serious Garrick, are you fucking having me followed? I swear to god—“

“I asked your mother.” He says breezily, and your jaw snaps shut with an audible click. “She thought the flowers were charming. We had a wonderful conversation.”

You tilt the phone away from your face, searching for a moment's respite. He’s caught you in this, tooth in leg, and you’re not sure how to wiggle out with your pride intact. Your thumb hovers briefly over the red button to end the call.

No, that would be handing Garrick what he wants, fleeing is as good as submission.

You press the phone back to your ear, anger renewed. “I don’t give her a play by play of my day.” You retort sharply, packing in as much disdain as you can spit. “I just didn’t want to be lectured by her. You shouldn’t have called.”

“I didn’t realize we were at the point that we’ve both realized telling people we’ve broken up isn’t worth the hassle.” Garrick marvels, half to himself. “What a milestone, dove.”

“Shut. Up. It’s weird that you’re still calling my mother.” You bite out, teeth grinding. He’s always so goddamn condescending. “Stop talking about ‘we’.”

“You just didn’t want to hear her tell you the truth when you broke the news again, hm? That we’re good together, that it isn’t going to last, that you should stop trying to ruin this.”

“Me? I’m not the goddamn problem here, Garrick! Maybe if you listened to me for once in your life, you could understand why we’re finished!” 

“Call me Kyle.” He says abruptly, completely unconcerned with your outburst.

“What? I’m not doing that. No.”

“Dovie,” he says simperingly. “I just miss how you say my name. You always call me Garrick when you’re huffy.”

The grip on your phone is starting to get dangerously tight. “Don’t call me or my parents again.” You bite out, and move to hand up.

“You called—“ Kyle gets out before the call ends, and you toss your phone onto your bed. It bounces off, but you don’t have it in you to give a shit if it’s cracked just yet, unwhetted frustration like a coiled spring.

You’re not going back to him. It’s done this time. You’re going to toss out all of his things, and get someone to change the locks tomorrow and everything, and this time you aren’t bluffing. You’re not.

[ericshoney]

Accident~ Brothers!Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: You loved to colour anything but accidentally ruin one of Nick's Space Camp designs.

Warnings: shouting, crying, angst with a happy ending

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were a very tame three year old. You never really got into trouble, sometimes loud, but never troublesome. You also loved being close to your brothers and loved being in LA with them, which is where you are right now.

You sat at the table colouring some pictures that Chris got you, your brothers were filming a stream in Matt's room but said if you needed anything to get them, as your parents had gone out for a bit to explore LA.

You then saw a piece of paper, which you thought was free to use, so you grabbed it and started drawing all over it, not realising it was a new design for Space Camp.

"Hey kiddo!" Chris exclaimed, as he walked in, closely followed by Nick and Matt.

"Hi! Look!" You replied just as cheery, showing him the pictures you coloured.

"Look amazing, sweetheart." Matt said, softly kissing your forehead.

"Then I draw this!" You added, showing them the drawing you did.

"That looks coo-" Nick began, but froze as he saw the designs on the back.

He quickly took the piece of paper from you and looked, seeing you had drawn all over his new designs for his meeting in a week.

"You not like?" You questioned.

"These are my new Space Camp designs." He said.

"Can't you actually use your brain for once kid! Look at what you've done!" He shouted.

"Hey calm down, she didn't know." Matt said.

"Of course she did! It's obvious these are new designs!" Nick responded.

"You always mess up! Always gotta colour something! This was for a new line and you completely ruined it!" He continued.

You frowned and felt tears in your eyes, none of your brothers had shouted at you before.

"I sorry." You said quietly.

"Dude, back off." Chris said, tugging the eldest back.

You ran to Matt's room since it was the closest and curled up on his bed, crying into the pillows. Both Matt and Chris looked at Nick.

"Bro, she's three." Chris said, disappointed with his brother.

"She ruined something big for me." Nick tried to defend, but the guilt was already setting in.

"She couldn't tell. You also left it out for anyone to use, what if I accidentally wrote a list on it?" Matt called.

"I....I fucked up, didn't I?" Nick asked, both Chris and Matt nodded.

"Yeah dude, again, she's three. She can't always tell what's right and wrong." Chris answered.

"You go cool down and we'll calm her, then you talk to her when your ready to apologise." Matt said.

Nick nodded and went to cool down in his room for a bit. An hour later you had calmed down, not crying anymore as you sat with Chris and Matt watching Looney Tunes. There was a soft knock on the door and Nick poked his head in.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

Matt nodded as you curled up to Chris more, scared he would shout again. Nick frowned and came over, kneeling on the floor.

"Hey sweetheart, I'm really sorry for shouting at you. I didn't mean it and I'm sorry I scared you." He apologised.

"Accident." You mumbled.

"I know, kiddo, it was an accident and I was a horrible big brother by shouting and blaming you for something you didn't fully understand. I got you something as a sorry." He said.

Nick then pulled out a Taz stuffed animal. You smiled as you reached for it, making him smile a bit.

"Thank you." You whispered.

"Your welcome and I'm sorry again." He replied.

You smiled and hugged the eldest triplet, making Matt and Chris smile, knowing things are okay now.

[queenvhagar]

Initial thoughts on HOTD season 2 episode 1 "A Son for a Son:"

Alicole

Maybe an unpopular opinion but Alicole seemed to appear out of thin air so quickly with not one but two sex scenes in one episode... Like when did this start? Who started it? How did these characters suddenly get to this place of complete sexual liberation in this way based on literally everything we know about these characters and this world up until this point? Alicent is a deeply religious widow of the king who has lived decades in servitude to the realm without much thought to her own desires and Criston is a knight of the Kingsguard sworn to celibacy who broke his vow once with royalty and almost killed himself out of guilt. Somehow they're at the point where he's giving her head in the middle of the day and she's riding him at night in her bed and the build up is just... non existent save one look and line in season 1 episode 9. Like... what's going on here?

For the first scene I was like "ohh cunnilingus is technically not breaking his vow in a way so maybe this is how they get around the whole Kingsguard vow/honor thing" but then she's just full on riding him later and the way the show shows us this is through the perspective of Helaena as she walks in on them with Jahaera as she's coming directly from B+C sawing Jahaerys' head off in his bed. If Alicole was about reclaiming pleasure or connecting in dark times, there's something there. But compare this almost voyeuristic view of Alicole sex to the focus on female sexual pleasure given to Rhaenyra's sex scenes in the first season... it kind of weird of the show to now just have Alicole have sex as some weird "woah what the heck" bit at the end of the B+C sequence, as if the whole end of the episode really needed some extra shock value. It doesn't even really need to be there to explain why Alicent and Criston weren't there to see B+C... It happens far enough away that the two could've been doing anything else and not have known it was happening.

Alicole sex and particularly this second scene really adds nothing narratively. I would have preferred that Alicent witness B+C like in the original or be doing literally anything else, because the point of Alicole sex in the show of course isn't on their pleasure or their relationship or anything it's just some moments we're intruding on.

I'm not sure why they felt the need to add this element. We already know Criston defends Alicent no matter what and we didn't need to add sex for that to hit. We also know they have a weird bond with weird feelings so like the sex doesn't add much. Like good for them but character wise I don't really see how this realistically developed. I also am not sure about the power dynamics given she is his personal guard, but since they didn't devote any thought to this is season 1 when Rhaenyra forced sex on him, I doubt they will stop to consider how he ended up getting into another sexual relationship with a royal and/or his thoughts about the whole thing. Basically the "after the episode" clip explained that they think Cole is the most messed up character in the show who just flaunts his responsibilities and vows left and right... and that's about as far as they're gonna go about it. Basically: look, he's a hypocrite! But we knew this already.

Blood and Cheese

I'm glad that the show at least let Daemon basically instruct B+C to take a son for a son no matter what if they couldn't find Aemond like he and Rhaenyra initially intended... However they did cut before Daemon literally said it so count on TB stans to give him the benefit of the doubt despite it all 🙄

I still think the book B+C is supremely superior without the weird walking in on Alicole voyeuristic thing and with Helena choosing between her two sons instead of the twins, but for some reason they erased Maelor to make TB look better in the long run and not have to deal with the whole "Rhaenyra puts a bounty on a toddler that gets him torn apart by a mob" thing... so I guess they're going with what they've got...

I do appreciate the build to the moment, the anxiety and atmosphere leading to what will happen. Very well done cinematically. Imagine this plus being committed to sticking to the source material... The amazing scene that could have happened. However the realistic sawing off a six year old's head sound as his mother picks up her six year old daughter and walks out of the room was something that really makes you remember the horror element of early seasons Game of Thrones and something I really appreciate that they let us have. Could it have been better? Yes. Is the book version better? Yes. But I am overall ok with what we got (minus the ending because... wtf) and I'm really looking forward to the fallout we'll get next week.

[darklinaforever]

I don't know if you know or even care judging by your heartless attitude and those of the anons baiting, but Grace has been discharged from the hospital. She just needed a few stitches. Her brother has said Grace is actually not meant to be on social media as it's hugely triggering for her, plus she has a history of making posts that spark harassment etc because her takes are seen as discriminatory etc. He thought it was the same old situation again and doesn't get the whole plagarism thing. I messaged him the screencaps Grace took of her post and yours and he thought she had written both posts which says it all. He's not really interested in that tbh. However he has contacted law enforcement for advice regarding the harassment claims - they have seen the screencaps of everything but the fact Grace deleted her blog has caused hassle. Without an actual account to trace the IPs then it gets complicated. They recommend getting legal representation in the meantime and to contact Tumblr directly. Grace's injuries have been photographed and filed, so has the whole plagarism thing as background but they're not really interested in that either. It's more about the threats. I don't know if you were involved but apparently the officer said they have to have actual evidence in terms of the original situation motivating a backlash from your followers. But it's sketchy and we can't make unproven allegations. He said so far there's no actual proof online of you goading people to go after Grace. Your responses are not enough to indicate this. If the case goes ahead and they uncover evidence, then yes, they will then act. Tbh, they're not really being helpful with this as they are implying it's a waste of their time and resources. The officer admitted that your post was probably plagarised but that's it.

I'm going to cut it off there as I've wasted enough time on this. I hope Grace learns her lesson and stays off this hellsite. The only good thing about this is all my mutuals and theirs have now blocked you if they hadn't already. I've heard a lot about you over the past 24 hours and none of it is good.i had no idea who you were before or I'd have moved to act sooner to protect Grace from you. God knows how many vulnerable people you fucked up ready. I'm hearing crazy things about you defend paedophelia, you pretend to be bi to express Anti LGBTQ opinions and get away with it etc. I don't know if this is true but who knows. I just think you are a really dangerous individual and people are taking your opinions at face value as fact. Anyone who challenges you is immediately called crazy and deluded and then subjected to abuse. Grace could have killed herself over this and for what? Some idiot copying her post? I feel you have a lot of unhealthy thoughts and feelings and post them here because in real life you'll get trouble for it. I don't really care. I just think you're absolutely vile and people should block you for their own safety.

1. I don't pretend to be Bi. I am bisexual woman. And I have never declared anything anti-LBGT. I'm just not comfortable with changing the on-screen gender of a male character who has been exist for years. It's still crazy to be called queerphobic for that.

(If you look at my tumblr account, I'm currently obsessed with the ship Catwin and Dead Boy Detectives in general ! 😂)

2. I am not defending pedophilia. Not even incest, because I'm also accused of that. Shipping fictional characters has nothing to do with real life. You need to get treatment.

3. The same people who say I'm anti LGBT also accuse "Grace" of also being anti-LGBT, by the way. Just to show you the level of stupidity these people have.

4. There is no evidence that my subscribers have harassed anyone ! And if they did, I NEVER in any way encouraged that to happen. As for this girl (apparently named Grace), I literally said that if it was true, it was sad, but I had nothing to do with it, and that I hoped she would get better. (How does that make me heartless?) But once again, I DIDN'T PLAGIARIZE HER, I didn't harass her, and I didn't encourage anyone to harass her (or other people) either.

I am a person who stays in my tags on tumblr. I almost never go to other people's blogs and even less to harass them with anonymous messages. At this point, I am the one who has been the victim of harassment by antis who are spreading bullshit about me and it continues now.

If this whole story is true, I wish Grace well, but I didn't plagiarize her, nor did I send anyone to harass her. And that's just the truth. Whether you believe me or not I don't care, I have a clear conscience and that's all that matters.

[acewizardinspace]

We see the attack on the jedi temple in ep 3, the Kenobi show and from Grogu, and they all show how horrific it was, but none of those have shown us the elderly.

It is only logical that during the war most of the people in the temple were those too old or sick to fight, yet, in all of these scenes we are only shown what appears to be mid-life adults.

But I just can't stop thinking about the elderly jedi.

The jedi who haven't picked up their lightsabers in 10 years, let alone actually turned it on, standing up to protect their homes. The jedi who gave themselves one final mission, to save as many of their people's children as they can. The jedi who fought in their hover chairs, who didn't even try to evacuate, who tried to stall the onslaught for just a little while longer.

I get really emotional thinking about the elderly jedi who are typically forgotten in these discussions.

[000marie198]

Yes. I remember Nine noted that the Council was tearing the shatterverse apart with their plan. (I wonder when he'll realize he's doing the same; albeit for different reasons.)

When indeed.

[astrugglingacademic]

Every fic with both Zhongli and Xiao is Xiao being comforted by Zhongli, what I really need is to see Zhongli fall apart for the first time ever and Xiao helping him while internally panicking to the moon and back.

[widevibratobitch]

im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg

[danzafila]

vaguely related, but based off all the comparisons to anders, i'm already becoming predisposed to gale being my least favorite lol

[pzos-amiserableidiot]

was watching tiktok and a video had the song michael in the bathroom playing and I was vicerally reminded of being in middle and high school and mom always mentioning how much I looked like my dad (his name is michael) and how I slowly was able to start noticing it too and whenever I sang the song it reminded me of him and I felt like we were overlapping too often felt like id never be anyone but a shadow or his mirror and then i began learning i was trans and now the song makes me think of him even more (he’s not a bad dad he tells me he’s proud of me and stuff there’s just two really big moments he unknowingly failed and one long continuous one but he loves me and he’s proud and he supports me and he didn’t mean it and ive learned to make that enough) and the weird flashback I got when I heard that song and overlapping with his face and how if I transitioned I almost fear I’d be his clone and yeah Anywyas banger song

[little-ajax-56793]

I love being stubborn about random historical interpretations. The American Revolution lasted from the Stamp Act Congress in 1765 to the Treaty of Ghent in 1814. (Treaty of Ghent and not the War of 1812 because fuck Andrew Jackson specifically.) Change my mind. You can't. Anyway the scariest thing about being trans is that I'm going from girl who likes history (sexy) to guy who likes history (red flag)

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.