#At this point im just hanging on for her name and she deserves better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lolitaa-17 · 1 year

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This is a is a drabble honestly.

readerxgetosuguru , readerxgojosatoru

Not proofread!

You sat on your bed as you braided Suguru’s hair. It was silent except for the low volume coming out of Shoko’s phone as she scrolled through social media.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it y/n.” Suguru says breaking the silence.

“He slept with another women.” Shoko implied.

He did. In fact, he even got her pregnant. He obviously didn’t hesitate to leave you after finding out that the women he had slept with was pregnant.

‘It’s healthier for me to stay with her during this pregnancy, she needs me right now.’

“It’s okay.” You sighed while finishing up Suguru’s braid.

Was it though?

“Y/n…yes, I fucked up. But I can’t just leave her!”

“So what you’re just gonna leave me! Leave what all we’ve gone through together Satoru?”

“She doesn’t deserve to care for this…no..our baby alone, she needs me.”

You knew Satoru always dreamed of having a kid. Constantly asking if you were ready, But you were beyond terrified. And now here you are crying for this relationship not to end.

It’s pathetic, he bluntly cheated on you and gets another women pregnant but you don’t have the courage to let him go.

“But he even got her pregnant.” Shoko added as she tossed her phone on the side of the bed and sat closer to you and Suguru.

“He what?” Suguru tensed up, he had not a clue.

“You guys should get going, I have an appointment early in the morning tomorrow.” Your sad smile that painted your face as you were kindly asking your friends to leave.

“Yeah, we’ll see you tomorrow?” Shoko asked.

“Maybe.” You answered before waving them off.

No, you didn’t want there to be a tomorrow. You just wanted it all gone. Having to see your ex happily with a women he hadn’t even known for that long.

‘Was I ever even special to him?’

“How do you feel?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighed.

“Y/n, I’m gonna need you to answer these questions. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours.”

You’ve always hated the thought of therapy. Talking to a stranger who don’t actually want to know you, only forcing them to because it’s their job. But who else could you possibly open up to.

“Im sorry…I can’t.” You faintly breath out before quickly walking out the room.

Immediately crashing into someone.

“I’m sor-“ you look up to see Suguru.

“The baby’s name is gonna be Hachi!” Satoru looked at his loving fiancé as she was shooting out names for the baby girl that was due in a couple of weeks.

“Whatever you want baby.” He kissed her hand softly.

Oh…how his heart would always sit with guilt once in a while as his thoughts remind him of how he left you. He left you so sudden and so cruelly. Not even a simple sorry was ever muttered.

He always hopes he would see you somewhere so he could at least get a chance how he was sorry. How you never deserved the amount of damage he had done to you. How you only mean well.

“What are you doing here?” Suguru asked.

“No reason…why are you here?” You reply.

That’s when Suguru had realized that you actually weren’t okay. That’s also when you found out that he wasn’t okay either.

You both struggled deeply with depression. Both for different reasons obviously.

“Talk to me y/n, please.” He held your hands begging for you to open up to him.

And you did.

And so did he.

You both helped each other out, it did get better. You were back to your old ways. Partially.

You and Suguru had always been hanging out for months now. Hell, you two even started dating.

He held your hand as you two walked in each isle shopping for some groceries. “Let’s try this.” You pointed out some weird cereal that was new.

“I love you, but that looks gross.” Suguru laughed grabbing a cereal that you two were already familiar with.

“Party pooper.” You push the cart as Suguru had his arm around your waist.

“What do you mean it’s not mine?” Satoru clenched his jaw as his fiancé was crying.

“I lied…I needed someone to help me with the pregnancy Satoru, I was scared!” She cried out.

His heart hurt. So bad. He felt so dumb and pathetic.

The rain hitting his body as he ran to your apartment. He was drenched but he didn’t care. All he cared about was seeing you.

Knock

“Satoru…” you swore you felt the tears in your eyes getting ready to gather as you saw your ex standing right in front of you.

“Y/n please…listen.” He cried out.

“What’s wrong?” You asked genuinely concerned at his state right now.

“I’m sorry…I’m so fucking sorry.”

That look, the look of pity. He really felt small now. Even worse when he saw Suguru stand tall behind you.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Y/n please, it wasn’t my baby. I miss you.”

You scoff, “so you want me back just because you realized that the damn baby didn’t even belong to you! Satoru you put me through damn hell…so you must not be thinking straight if you think I’m gonna take you back.”

He just remained quiet, because he knew she was right.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for every damage I have done to you. I’m sorry y/n.”

He cries in his bed, sometimes drinks the pain away. But this time he just stared at the ceiling.

‘I’m Pregnant.’

Those words whirring in his head. The day he heard you talking to Shoko at some local cafe. The look of excitement took over your face as Suguru wrapped his arm around you.

He would run into you at a couple places here and there. How your tummy grew big every time he would run into you. Soon he would see you with a stroller as Suguru had his arms wrapped around you.

It hurt. But it’s okay, because it’s what he deserves.

#angst #gojo x you #jujutsu gojo #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #geto x you #jujutsu geto #geto suguru #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #jjk angst #gojo fanfic #geto fanfic

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streamluckybyriize · 19 days

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Doesn’t compare…

features-

Belle and Natty from Kiss Of Life

Hyunjin, Jeongin and Jisung from Stray Kids

-//- angst, bad ending, swear words

You’re hurt. You’re so hurt. He told you, he wasn’t ready for one. Wasn’t ready for commitment. Well clearly that was a fucking lie.

And what hurt even more? The fact he still tries talking to you, ignoring the fact he hasn’t told you while also not knowing you already know. You saw them on a date. And they kissed. And they were wearing matching clothes. They were together. You heard it from the girl herself. The girl from his history class. The girl who he didn’t want, because he wanted you. Again, clearly a fucking lie.

So now, you’re doing what any girl in this situation would do. Because if anyone forgot, you’re just a girl. A girl so hopelessly in love. A girl who’s tired of waiting. A girl who knows she deserves better. But she’s so in love.

You’re avoiding him. You’re skipping classes you have with him. You’re not spending your lunches at school, instead, driving to the basketball courts to distract yourself. You don’t play basketball. But listening to music while you sit on the hood of your car, eating take out, was so fun.

You’re mother doesn’t really mind, seeing that the classes you skipped weren’t were classes you thrived in, and weren’t that important. So yeah, she didn’t mind. Hyunjin did though. “He always stares at your fucking seat, all sad and shit.” Your best friend, Natty, scoffs. “He’s making it hard to believe he doesn’t care.”

“Just because he looks like it, doesn’t mean he’s only putting up a front. He hasn’t even spoken to me since the day they got together.” You explain, referring to last week, on Thursday. He had texted you, cancelling your plans once again. You realise now it’s because he was with Belle. Belle from History. Belle who everyone liked. Belle who liked Hyunjin. Who swore liked you. You shove a chicken tender into your mouth, relishing in the taste. Natty shrugs. “I never liked him anyway. Pretty privilege.” You roll your eyes. “You’re the actual definition of pretty privilege.” Natty winks before hopping off your car, taking all your rubbish to the bins. She wipes her hands on her shorts before sitting down again.

“We should probably head back. Unless you just wanna go home and get ready now.” She suggests and you actually like the sound of that. “Alright. Let’s go to yours though, Mum doesn’t want me leaving through half the day.” Natty nods before you both head to the doors.

“You both look so damn good.” Your other friend, Jisung, who also is Natty’s step sister, compliments. You rolls your eyes, smiling, while Natty spins, showing off the whole fit. “Where did you get ready? I didn’t see you when I was over at yours.” You ask, taking a sip of your drink. “Hyunjin’s.” You freeze at the mention of his name, and Natty slaps Jisung’s shoulder. “Don’t say the ‘H’ word, bro.” “Hoe? That word? Im sorry, and I love you to bits, Y/N-ie, but you need to lighten up. Please, get drunk.”

You nod. That’s the plan, after all.

And you are so good at following plans. You’re definitely on your way to being drunk. You are at the point where you don’t care how you look, or how loud you’re being. You’re having a good time, and you ended up joining a group to hang out with. The group includes you, Natty, Jisung and three other dudes you’ve known since basically diapers. You all went to the same schools ever since you learnt how to count, and you consider each and every person around you family. They are also helping you have a good time, all wrapping your arms around each other, screaming to the lyrics with drinks in hands. You even forgot about Hyunjin. That is, until he waltzed in, Belle from History under his arms, giggling at a joke he said to her. You immediately sobered up, all happiness wiped from your existence and it was clear all colour drained from your face because Natty looked so sad for you. Her mood was ruined too. But, you felt even worse when a pair of eyes that were happy, now shocked and remorseful, met yours. You turn, shoving your solo cup into Jeongin’s hands before hurrying away, looking for a place to run and hide.

You weren’t followed, thankfully. You really needed to be alone. You don’t understand why you’re so sad about this. Whatever you had with Hyunjin, wasn’t a relationship. Maybe it was the fact he would tell you to wait, and that he wasn’t ready, only for him to get with a girl a little less than later. He was so good at treating you right though. He always held your hand, sent you good morning and good night texts and a ‘x’ after. He called you pet names and he’d pick you up for random hang outs that were so much like dates. How could you not fall for him? Your heart felt heavy. Liked it was being absolutely shredded alive. Was wanting to disappear so bad now? No. It really couldn’t be. Not when it seems to tempting now.

“Y/N.” You heard someone call from outside the bedroom. You recognise that voice. You always could, even from a mile away. “Open the door please.”

“Go away. You have a girlfriend to accomodate.” You snap back, sitting on the bed. Tears fall, stinging your eye lids.

“Y/N, please.” Sadness washed away, anger replacing in a heartbeat. You stand up, walking to the door. You rip it open.

“You know what sucks, Hyunjin? I fell for you. I fell for you so fucking hard.” Tears stung your eyes again. “I know. I’m so sorry-“

“No because you don’t. You don’t know. If you knew, you would’ve felt the same. But it’s so fucking clear you don’t.”

“Y/N, please. I didn’t- i don’t deserve you. I didn’t want to hurt you more then I already was-“

“Hurt doesn’t even begin to explain what I’m feeling. You told me you weren’t ready for a relationship, Hyunjin. Then I hear last week on Thursday that you’re with Belle, after telling me earlier that week that you need more time. What were you planning on doing because you never brought that up.”

“You were avoiding me.”

“Rightfully so! You did want a relationship, but not one with me.” Hyunjin looked so defeated, and on a different situation, you would have held him and let him cry in your embrace. But he doesn’t deserve that. He now goes to Belle’s embrace instead. “And you don’t even deny it.”

“What am I supposed to do, Y/N?”

“Be fucking honest!” You yell. He flinched but you don’t care. “You didn’t want me until you needed me and after you were done with me, you tossed me like a rag. I was in love with you. I wanted you to have my children. I wanted you to sleep next to me in our bed. I only wanted you, but you wanted someone else. Then you lied about your plans and ditched me for Belle.” “I’m sorry.”

“You fucking should be.” You then walk past him. You’re tired. You just want to get drunk and forget about him. Hyunjin watched you leave for downstairs and his heart hurt. Badly.

Nothing compared to your pain though.

#Hyunjin story #Not good at angst #Angst #drabble #hyunjin x yn #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin skz #han jisung #jeongin #one shot

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turcott3 · 1 year

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Picking up the pieces ~ Alex Turcotte

alex turcotte x fem!reader

warnings: nothing major: cursing, heartbreak, angst->fluff, mentions of sex

idk why there’s a community label

“i didn’t know what to tell you.” trevor said trying not to raise his voice at you. you’d found out that he was talking to some influencer named dixie while also talking to you.

“trevor you knew this would upset me if i had found out you should’ve just told me so i could let you go.” you yell, tears threatening to spill. your feelings for trevor had grown tremendously, more than you ever admitted to him.

“y/n, i like you, i still do but i like talking to her too.”

“no trev, this is over. whatever we had it’s fucking over. i’m not just an option.” i say letting the tears finally escape as i grab my bag and keys and bolt out his door, running into a body on my way out.

“oh im sorry i did- oh my gosh y/n?” you hear a familiar voice speak up. it was alex.

“oh uh, hey alex.” you say quickly wiping my tears away. you and alex had become friends since you started talking to trevor but were never really super close. maybe that could change.

“woah, are you ok?” he asks grabbing onto your arm before you could walk away.

“i ended things with trevor, he’s talking to some chick named dixie.” you say and feel his demeanor change.

“that fuckhead i told him to tell you and he refused. look, im so sorry y/n, please text me if you need anything at all. you deserve so much better. i’m heading to his apartment right now, i won’t tell him i saw you.” he says kindly before releasing your arm.

“thank you alex, i definitely will let you know. that’s really kind of you” you say with a small smile threatening to spread on your face. you had never noticed the warmth in his eyes. he smiles at you and bids you good bye as he disappears around the corner to trevor’s door.

later that night, back in your apartment, you remember what alex had told you. at this point it had been a few hours and you hoped alex wasn’t there anymore so you could talk.

y/n: hey, are you still at trevor’s?

a: yeah i am what’s up?

y/n: i was just needing to talk abt everything, no worries

a: no i’m all ears, send me your address

you did as you were told and sent him your address, not being so sure about how he was planning on explaining to trevor why he was leaving. about 10-15 minutes later your phone buzzes on the couch and you pick up.

“hey im here, can you come let me in?” he asks through the phone.

“yeah of course.” you say as you hang up the phone and head down stairs to the door, seeing a lone alex, looking down at his phone. you open the door and he looks up and smiles.

god those dimples.

“hey.” he smirks, grabbing the door from your hand holding it open for you as you lead him back to your home.

“so what do you need to get off your chest?” he asks making himself comfortable on your couch.

“what do i not have to get off my chest at this point? you’re one of the few people that knew my feelings for trevor and my heart literally just got shattered over some stupid bitch who can’t sing. obviously she has something i don’t, clearly she’s better than me in, well i guess every way.” you express, rushing through your words and choking on the last ones holding back your cries.

“woah hey, calm down. slow down.” alex says standing up walking towards you as you paced the living room. he places his hands on your biceps and you take a deep breath together.

“i just want to know why i’m not good enough for him.” you frown as a tear exits your eye. alex frowns and releases your arms.

“you are good enough for him, he’s just stupid. he’s so stupid to pick someone like her over someone like you. in fact i’d say you’re too good for him.” alex says wiping the tear from your cheek. instinctively, you latch yourself onto him, holding him tight while hard sobs wrack your body. hesitantly, he wraps his arms around you, shushing your harsh cries into his chest. he caresses his thumb on the back of your head until your sobs ran quiet and he pulls away.

“i’m sorry that was a lot to put on you.” you say stepping away from him.

“no it wasn’t at all don’t worry.” he smiles, fixing the neck of your shirt. you had never spent this much alone time with alex, yet you didn’t know why you hadn’t. he made your heart warm. made you feel like you mattered. a feeling you’d unknowingly craved over the last few months.

“will you stay here with me?” you ask, nervously grabbing onto the hands that hung by his sides.

“yeah of course.” he replies, tightening his grip on your hands. you let go of one and walk hand in hand back over to your couch where you both sat. he tucked you under his arm delicately as you got on your phone, avoiding instagram like the plague. you had a handful of texts from trevor trying to convince me to stay, which you ignored, and a few texts from jamie about the show you were watching together. your eyes grew heavy as alex watched whatever he put on the tv, dozing off leaning your head on his shoulder.

you wake up the next morning in your bed and confused. you didn’t remember walking in here and you don’t remember alex leaving. you look over and see your phone charging on your night stand.

a: you fell asleep so i brought you to bed and plugged your phone in

y/n: omg i’m so sorry, thank you for doing that you didn’t have to

you replied and unplugged your phone, placing it under your pillow and shutting your eyes waiting for a reply. you didn’t want today to happen. it’s your first day without trevor in about 3 months. the thought of not being around him broke your heart all over again.

a: will i didn’t want you to wake up with a sore neck and a dead phone. i crashed on the couch last night i hope that’s ok

your phone buzzed. you walk out into the living room and see alex laying there on his phone.

“morning.” you speak quietly. he puts his phone down on his chest and looks at you.

“good morning y/n.” he smiles. waking up to your ex-situationship’s best friend is something you never thought would bring you joy but it did. alex made you smile. you walk around the edge of the couch to join him. before you sat down next to his head, he grabs on to your hand and pulls you over to him, signaling for you to lay on his chest. hesitantly, you accept and lay down gently on his chest.

“how are you feeling this morning?” he asks brushing the hair out of your face.

“not great honestly, it’s really fresh still.” you say holding back your tears yet again.

“that’s ok, i’m here for you. you deserve to have someone y/n.” he replies.

“it just makes me sad, i don’t know what i was doing wrong.”

“you weren’t doing anything wrong, you were doing everything right in my opinion. you put your entire heart into that relationship and i saw it. you deserve someone who’s gonna take care of you.” alex explains on. you listen carefully maybe thinking he’s implying that he likes you and wants to care for you which only makes you want to cry more. maybe you messed this up more than trevor did?

“how come it wasn’t you?” you attempt to giggle while wiping your tears and burying your face in his chest.

“what do you mean?” he asks.

“how come it wasn’t you that i was talking to? you’re so caring and sweet, he is not really like that.” you say daringly.

“i’ve always had some kind of feelings for you y/n and sometimes i did wish it was me instead of him. i would’ve done so many things differently to benefit you and your confidence. you’re so beautiful and kind, i just wish you could see you the way i do.” he replies covering his face with his hands. you grab onto his wrists and uncover it to reveal a red faced alex.

“awe alex, don’t be embarrassed. in all honesty i do think you’re very attractive and very sweet.” you giggle still holding onto his wrists.

“well thank you.” he laughs nervously. you pull yourself up a bit and nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck and he places his hands on your lower back.

“i want to make you feel wanted y/n.” he speaks up after a few moments of silence.

“i’d like that.” you reply leaning up to look at him. he lifts his head to kiss you on the cheek before you get settled back into your previous state. why was this what you were missing all along?

many days later, you had seen alex at least once every day if he didn’t stay over.

“ok so for the benefit of all of us, can you please talk it out with trevor? i’ll be there, so will jamie. i won’t let him disrespect you not even for a second if he tries.” alex begs you for the final time. it was true, it did make it awkward for the group since you guys weren’t talking.

“alright fine, let’s go.” you say standing up, accepting alex’s hand. the only reason you’d agreed to do it is because you wanted to fix the friend group and make alex happy. you arrive at trevor’s apartment knocking lightly on the door. alex standing right behind you with his thumb rubbing circles on the small of your back. after a moment, the door opens and trevor’s face shifts into shock.

“oh hey, y/n, alex come in please.” he opens the door wider for you both to come in and sit.

“ok first off, keep it civil.” jamie says standing in front of the tv.

“yes and respectful.” alex adds.

“ok i’ll go first,” you say shifting to face him, ”why on earth would you not tell me you were talking to her. if you had told me before that you were interested in her i wouldn’t have gotten so upset. my feelings for you were so real trevor. i was just scared to admit it so soon and now of course they aren’t but like come on, you could’ve saved me so much hurt and saved the group from a mess.” you express to him, seeing him soak it all up.

“i understand. im sorry i did this to you, it was incredibly unfair and selfish of me and for that i am so sorry. i didn’t want to hurt you. i don’t really have anything to say because why would i? i hurt you and that’s not cool i can’t make excuses. is there still any chance we can be friends again?” he asks nervously.

“yes of course trevor but please always be honest with people.” you say scooting over to hug him. his touch felt different. your body didn’t warm up like it used to. like how your body was filled with fireworks every time you had sex or how your stomach filled with butterflies when he cuddled you to his chest at night. it felt so intimate but all those feelings you had for him had disappeared within a matter of days.

“see that was great, proud of yall.” jamie says before flopping down on the couch.

“it was.” alex replies tucking you under his arm.

“i hope he treats you better than i ever did. you deserve to be happy.” trevor leans over and whispers in my ear, clearly referring to alex’s arm around me. you look him in the eyes and can tell he’s being genuine and all you do is smile lightly in reply.

the last few weeks had been good especially with alex. he’s been so sweet to you. making you breakfast, bringing you flowers, the whole nine yards. you hadn’t really attached a label to your relationship yet but you knew your feelings for each other were strong. you could tell by the warmth you felt in your heart every time you were around him.

“hey love.” you say opening the door to alex standing there with bags of food from in-n-out.

“hi baby, i got us food for movie night.” he says kissing you on the temple before setting the bags on the counter. you begin to pull items out and place them on a large plate to bring to the couch. you get cuddled up quickly by his side as you scratch his scalp lightly. this was something he loved doing with you. movie nights and cuddling that occasionally leads to the best sex of your life. who knew he was such a softie?

“hey y/n?” you hear him speak up.

“yes alex?” you reply looking up at him. he presses a sweet kiss to your lips which you gladly accept, falling for him even more just in that moment.

“could i have the honor of being your boyfriend?” he asks dramatically, keeping his eyes locked on yours.

“absolutely.” you reply kissing him again this time more passionately. alex had been there for you everyday getting over his best friend and it blossomed into undeniable love. you were in love with alex, and he was in love with you. nothing could ever change that now.

(live love brain vomit, i hope yall liked it, thank you jay for the support✊🏼✊🏼 im having a terrible week so enjoy)

#alex turcotte #turcs’ talk #turcs <3 #fluff

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uses-for-fics · 4 months

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Can't Get Enough

Darren x Reader

a/n: i think this drags on but whateverrrrrr i finished it and im proud i finally finished soemthing. 6 hours. 6 long miserable hours she had to endure in a cramped plane all because her boss wanted to be a bitch and make her miss out on her weekend. Y/n should’ve been out on her two day-relaxing wilderness retreat but instead she was stuck here, carrying all of her boss's luggage as she hauled ass right behind the terrifying woman. Luckily, she managed to put her phone into her purse before all the luggage was assigned to her. If she was going to be forced to be here, the least they should let her do was listen to her audiobook by the hotel pool.

She had safely made it into the giant glass box of a hotel without tripping and stared in awe. The hotel was lavish! She looked forward and there stood a giant waterfall in the middle of the lobby. The splashing water made it feel refreshing inside and brightened the already very luxurious place. Maybe she could find time to come back to the lobby and pretend she was far from work. She zoned out imagining all the fun she could be having right about now, failing to notice the dastardly woman calling her name until she saw old wrinkly fingers snap in her face.

“HELLO!!! Are you going to get my room keys or not?” Her boss’s shrill voice ringing in her ears. “Sorry, Ms. Featherington.” The older woman snapped her fingers and held out her hand. The assistant looked over to the receptionist and put down some of the luggage. “DONT DO THAT! These carpets are utterly dirty with everyone’s steps, my bags should NEVER touch the floor.” The shrill voice spoke up again.

The younger woman took in a long breathe. “I’m sorry, I won’t let it happen again.” She hobbled over to the desk with the bags all hanging on her, grabbing the key from the stranger. The receptionist gave her a small pity smile and pointed them in the direction of the elevators. “Your room will be that way.” Y/n noticed how the keys were different. One was a shiny goldish color, while the other was a plain grey color.

“Where will I sleep?” She asked. Ms. Featherington smiled. “The expenses could only cover for ONE penthouse suite, you’ll be sleeping in the ‘quainter’ rooms underneath. Now take my bags to my room and organize my things. I’m going for a trip to the spa and I’m expecting a spectacular reservation at the best restaurant around here at 7pm WITH a car pick up and I better not see a single thing out of place in my room when I get back.” With that the older lady put on her sunglasses and walked away. The poor assistant could just sigh and carry the heavy bags to the elevators.

She successfully managed to put all the bags into elevator and push the button to the 16th floor without falling over. Now she just needed to make it to the room...easy right? She had stacked all the luggage she could carry in a straight pile in her arms and weaved her way through the long hall. 'A few more steps and I'm there.' She thought to herself. She let out a sigh and started to feel the bags wiggle in her arms. 'Fuck.' It's all she could think of as she tried to catch the bags before they hit ground. From across the hall, Darren, Alexx and Joel had all finished cleaning the penthouse and were grabbing their cleaning items. Darren stretched his arms up until he heard a satisfying 'CRACK'. "I think we did a great job with this room. We deserve a little prize." He reached into his shirt's pocket and pulled out a pipe. "Dude! Seriously?" Joel reached out for the pipe. Darren extended his arm above Joel, making it hard for the scrawny man to reach it. "Come on man! Thats not good for you." Joel huffed. "Dude, if Darren wants to get shit faced, I think we should let him." Alexx said as he patted Darren's back. Darren nodded and took a hit from the pipe. Joel shook his head in disbelief. "You only think Darren should continue cause you're his supplier!" Alexx hushed Joel. "Not so loud man! Someone is going to hear you!" Darren blows out a ring of smoke and smiles. "Oh please, we're the only people here." Joel looks behind Darren and points. "Us and that person." The two other guys look behind themselves and see a giant stack of luggage wobbling. "Woahhhh technology has come so far! Luggage's can deliver themselves now." Alexx beamed. Joel rolled his eyes, "Thats obviously a person. Come on let's go help." Alexx shook his head. "No way man, we get paid to clean, NOT to carry bags, I'm not doing extra work." Darren shrugged and walked to the person struggling. "Here." He grabbed a couple of bags, just enough so it wouldn't be so heavy anymore for the person. He was able to see the person behind the luggage tower and smiled. He didn't expect to see a frantic looking woman. She looked up and saw him, her quivering lip turning into a smile. "Umm, let me help you." He chuckled as she loosened her grip on the bags. "Thank you." she said sheepishly. She looked tired, nervous, almost like she didn't want to be there and yet, Darren thought she looked beautiful. The woman took in her savior's features. Scruffy stubble, unkept fluffy hair, and glazed over hazel eyes. He looked like an angel to her. They hadn't noticed Joel grabbing some bags from the woman. She looked over at the second man and smiled up at him. She thanked him and reached into her pocket for the key card. Much to Alexx's dismay, all three men helped her bring the bags in. Alexx and Joel put the bags down near the entrance of the room and headed out of the room.

The woman called out before Darren could leave. "Wait!" She said just a bit too loud. She felt her face go red as Darren turned back to look at her. 'God was he cute.' She cleared her throat, "Let me at least tip you guys." She instinctively reached to her side, aiming to grab her purse but found air. She usually carried her purse on her person all the time in case Ms. Featherington needed something.

She looked up at Darren and gave a nervous chuckle. “Whoops, looks like I can’t find my purse, just give me one second.” She started scrambling around the luggage, in hopes it was just piled around there. Darren tried to reach out to her. "Oh no you don’t have to worry about that. It really wasn’t a problem." He grabbed ahold of her shoulder. She stopped her frantic searching and looked up at him. He noticed how tense she looked. Shit! She felt tensed! Almost like if she was on edge all the time.

She reached for his hand that laid on her shoulder. "I insist, you guys didn’t have to help, and I really do appreciate your help." He felt his face warm up from the lady’s touch…or maybe the drugs were staring to hit, he couldnt tell. The woman went back to looking for her bag and had become to look frantic every second she couldn’t find it.

"FUCK!" She threw her hands into her hair. Darren’s eyes widen at the sudden burst, walking closer to her. "Is everything ok?" She looked at him and started geting teary. "I must’ve left my bag on the elevator or in the lobby…I can’t remember…FUCK these stupid bags!" She huffed and covered her eyes. ‘Great. Just fucking great. She managed to lose her purse AND embarrass herself in front of the cute brunette.’

The other two men had come back into the room. "Darren we gotta go, as much as we like slacking off, Cassie is on her way checking the rooms weve done...which isnt a lot." Alexx whispered to Darren. Darren looked over to the crying woman. he couldnt leave her there, something about her just called to him. He turned back to Alex and Joel. “You guys go on without me. I’m going to hang back.” Alexx looked back at the woman who’s taken a seat on the couch. “Ohhh, getting her while she’s at her low. Nice move dude, I don’t know why I didn’t think of it.” He smirked up at Darren.

Darren smacked Alexx on his arm. “Obviously I'm going to help her look for her bag, dumbass." Joel rolled his eyes, a habit he's gotten used to since he met Alexx. "Come on, Cassie will be here any moment." Joel grabbed Alexx's collar and pulled him out of the room. "You owe us!" Alexx yelled as Joel dragged him out.

Darren huffed out. This is why he never got girls. He walked up to Y/n and crouched down in front of her. He put his hand on her knee. "Hey, it's going to be ok. I'1l help you look for your bag."

She moved her hands from her face and sniffled. "Really?" Darren's heart leaped. 'Even with teary stained cheeks, she looked absolutely vibrant. ' He patted her knee. "Of course! I have access to any room and any floor. We'll find that bag in no time!" He stood up and stretched his arm out to her. She took a hold of his hand and smiled. 'His hand was soft for a cleaning maid.'

"First things first, where do you remember last having your bag?" Darren intertwined his hand with hers. Her face reddened. "I remember definitely having it in the lobby, I put my phone in it an——“. It had dawned on her that Ms. Featherington could have blowing up her phone this second with messages and complaints. “FUCK! My phone is in there! My boss is going to be pissed!” Darren gently squeezed her hand as he felt her start to get anxious again.

“Hey hey hey, it’s going to be fine. I’m sure she’ll understand, it’s a small hiccup.” He calmed her down. She sighed. “You don’t understand. She’ll literally rip my head off for not answering right away. I can literally get kidnapped and she wouldn’t care, she would still hassle me to get her a hot Venti, caramel latte, with triple shots, no foam and extra caramel all made with skim milk.” She squeezed his hand.

The most he had to worry about was his sexist boss but even then he was mostly sexist with the women. Disgusting but he got away with getting high so he stayed. “Ok ok, here’s the game plan, let’s check the elevators first and we’ll go from there.” She took a deep breath and shook her head. “Ok, I trust you.”

This had started an 1 hour and a half long wild goose chase from avoiding Cassie, checking all the elevators, the downstairs lobby and even the parking lot but to no avail, they couldn’t find the purse. “It’s no use, I’ve lost all my contacts, my boss is going to be pissed I haven’t answered her and worst of all I won’t know if Colin and Penelope ever end up together!” She huffed as she leaned back in the elevator that was taking them back upstairs.

Darren chuckled. “Well it’s so obvious Penelope and Colin are gonna end up together, why wouldn’t they?” The girl glared at him. “Or maybe they don’t! I don’t know it’s not like I read the book or anything.” He gulped. The girl just hung her head low. The doors to the elevator beeped and opened to reveal a red head in a white button and a navy blue skirt. “Darren! I’ve been looking for you! You haven’t been getting high in the rooms again, have you?” She yelped.

Y/n lifted her head to give Darren a quizzical look. Darren gave a nervous smile. “Actually Cassie-“ he grabbed y/n’s hand to help her up from her slumped position. “I was helping the wonderful lady look for her lost purse. She can’t remember where she left it.” Cassie blinked. “Oh my, have you tried checking lost and found?” Darren just stood there.

“We have a lost and found?” He questioned. Y/n’s head turned slowly to glare daggers at Darren. Cassie huffed. “Come with me ma’am, I’ll take you there.” Y/n stepped out of the elevator and followed the poised woman. Darren followed suit. Y/n grabbed Darren’s shirt and pulled him down, enough to whisper to him. “How come you didn’t tell me there was a lost and found?” She looked absolutely charming while she was mad. Darren gave a small smile. “To be fair, I’m high like half the time I’m here.” He removed her hand from his shirt and held on to it. “Besides, even if I did know we had one, maybe I was just trying to get to know you more.”

Darren stood tall again, not letting go of her hand as they continued to walk. Y/n had to take a second to compose herself, feeling her cheeks turn to a dark shade of red again. This guy was going to be her downfall.

Silence stretched between them like a taut wire during the elevator ride back to the penthouse. Her bag, retrieved thanks to Darren, sat forgotten on the floor. Her gaze flicked between it and her phone. Should she confront the messages waiting there? Lost in thought, she barely registered the elevator doors sliding open, and only Darren's gentle hand on her arm brought her back to the present. She stood frozen, the weight of the unaddressed phone a burden in her hand. Darren's voice, softer than she expected, cut through the suffocating silence. "You should check it." (Y/n) lifted her head, eyes clouded with apprehension. Darren offered a hesitant shrug. "Here," he said, extending a hand. "Let me." Before she could voice a protest, his fingers brushed hers, sending a jolt through her. He took the phone, a silent decision made. He began scrolling through the messages, his jaw tightening with each new tirade. A frown etched itself onto his face as he read the vile attacks. He switched to the voicemail, the notification displaying a staggering number – fifty missed calls. He pressed play, but the speakerphone's harsh amplification only served to distort the voice on the other end. It was a torrent of obscenities, impossible to decipher. He couldn't focus on the words, his concern fixated on the woman beside him. (Y/n) flinched with every venomous insult, her shoulders hunching inwards as if trying to shrink away. The stark contrast between her earlier vibrancy and this fragile shell hit Darren with a force that left him speechless. All he could think about was the way this strong, bright young woman would crumble with each hateful message, the light in her eyes dimming with every attack. Darren took a deep breath, his eyes flickering from the phone screen to (Y/n)'s tense posture. With a determined swipe, he deleted the entire voicemail history. "Let's just forget about all this." He said, his voice firm yet gentle. He slipped her phone into his pocket before she could protest. (Y/n) stammered, a flicker of worry crossing her face. "I can't just ignore them. I need to respond." Darren shook his head, his gaze holding hers. "No, what you need right now is a break. Relax, unwind. This place is huge, explore it. Let's take advantage of that." (Y/n)'s eyes darted between the room key and Darren, a war raging within her. Responsibility versus escape. Finally, with a frustrated sigh, she blurted, "Screw it." She thrust the key at him, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Darren's face broke into a relieved grin. "That's the spirit!" He took the key, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So," he leaned closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, "ever heard of salvia?" (Y/n) cocked her head, intrigued despite herself. "Salvia? What's that?" He chuckled, a low rumble that sent shivers down her spine. "Oh, this is going to be interesting," he murmured, his hand reaching for hers.

#my fic #anders holm #x reader #darren #darren game over man #game over man #darren x reader #anders holm x reader

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stargazer0001 · 7 months

Text

there is something deeply wrong with me but I dont know what it is

like bestie im not talented im traumatized. Im not wasting a gift im trying to keep myself from plunging a knife in my chest and bleeding out in my bed. Like void, please shut the fuck up.

but then when other people vent to me, even if I TRY to care, I just dont. Like im sorry. I want you to feel better. But wtf am I meant to do. Like sorrows, sorrows, but I cant even deal with my own emotions what makes you think I can help with yours???????? And then I TRY. I TRY to help knowing that I cant, I TRY to care even though I dont, I TRY to make it known that I want them to feel loved and cared for, but nothing works. And then I feel like a piece of shit who deserves to rot away in a corner for all eternity!!!

Oh and speaking of rotting away, SCHOOL. I can't pay attention. Like if its not interesting I just zone out and start questioning my reality. And then im like 'wtf are we doing now'. Its actual torture what. And when I TRY to pay attention and actually LEARN I literally just end up drawing on my paper or my mind starts to wander. BUT THEN THE FUCKING THINGS MY TEACHERS ARE SAYING MAKE NO SENSE!! LIKE GIRLIE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT TO DO IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME THROUGH A THOROUGH STEP MY STEP PROCESS HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS. And then I DONT SPEAK UP BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER HAVE MY HAND CHOPPED OFF THEN SPEAK TO A TEACHER. Like. Then, everyone else seems to immediately understand everything?? Some people talk back to teachers??? Some people WANT to talk to teachers??? Who are you and how. Oh and then my classmates??? Literally horrible. I want them to die. Thankfully i have a couple friends in my classes which makes it a bit more bearable, but NO KEENAN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS, STOP DANCING AND SCREAMING, STOP BEING SO UNBEARABLE, STOP BEING A DICK. LIKE DUDE I BET YOU DONT EVEN GOT ONE. LITERALLY STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE. And its this one certain friend group who is actually the WORST. Like im TRYING to pay attention and then all of a sudden one of these kids starts yelling at another, stuff is thrown, and nothing gets done. BUT THEN THE TEACHERS DO NOTHING. THEY DONT CARE. BUT THEN WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE TALKS EVEN ONCE ITS IMMIDIATELY PRINCIPLES OFFICE???? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST KILL ME.

oh and then out of school isn't even better at all. I just want to waste away in my room. Everything always hurts and I just want to be with friends but I know that nobody can or wants to hang out with a sad waste of oxygen like me. And then when im trying to go to bed I just hear the crashing of glass, my parents having a screaming match, and then my mom going back to drinking her sorrows away while my dad continues to try and sleep. Like please im so tired just let me go into my happy place and attempt to die in my sleep. And then whenever its even around 6:00 my mom immediately starts acting drunk even if she's had nothing so what the fuck is up with that. And then she tries to gaslight me into doing things??? Like at this point im immune. I dont even give any fucks anymore because I tried doing that and it just got me hurt. So why even care anymore. So what the fuck is the point in trying to live laugh love when I just wanna off myself. Like no. Die cry hate is my new motto at this point.

and then, to top it all off, if I try venting ANYTHING to the one person I know who understands, he just asks 'oh, is it your time of the month?'

like please just kill me at this point. Take me out of the hell called living. Im so close to just dying please help.

#vent #holy fuck this is long but I needed to just get this out #i know I shouldn't vent online but I have nobody to talk to this about and I dont got any bottles left to put this in #Star.TXT document #pleease dont be concerned abt me its just me being not okay again #its just this time i posted about it

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apollo-gate · 1 year

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Was hanging out on other blogs and found an interesting ask about hanahaki disease (not sure if you're familiar with it since this fictional disease about unrequited love is quite old)

In a hypothetical scenario, how would each of the Ros will react to MC having the hanahaki disease in deep crushing stage?

So I might not be well versed in Anime but I do know about Hanahaki disease.

Had a mysterious Author put it in my locker in high school. A short story and the mc died at the end. Very sad never did find out who wrote it. (Im not sure if I was the one to be the Mc or they were. I was the type that was oblivious to people liking me. mainly because I only liked one person at the time. I was a dumbass in that area and still am. Also, full-blown introvert here.)

Alice- For the better word panic and think was she not open enough to mc. Is she causing this? Alice will make a point to say how she feels. But with how emotionally cut off she is Mc might die from it.

Helena- Would think she is not the one. But if she finds out it's her. She doesn't want Mc to die. She will try to tell and confess she cares about the Mc and it's not one-sided.

Lisa- Will be panicking to the point she can't eat or sleep worrying about Mc. She doesn't know if Mc loves her or someone else. Lisa will talk to Dove and get help on how to word her questions and how to confess she loves the Mc.

Becca- Will get angrey or upset. Really depends on her mood. Not really at Mc but because Mc has hanahaki disease. The fact Mc has something that's killing them when they were already hurt pisses her off. She will tell the Mc bluntly she loves and cares about them. If its not her well she will tell the Mc to remove it. As they don't deserve them.

Daniella- Will cry at finding out. She will berate herself for not seeing the signs. She doesn't know if to tell the Mc she likes them or to get removed and never feel for her again.

Vanessa- Will tell Mc to get it removed. She doesn't know if she can be what the Mc wants and would want them to be with someone as she belives she would just be a disappointment.

Azalea- They would be hurting. They just found you. On a level that humans can't comprehend they would be dying as well. Azalea would confess their feeling by allowing Mc into their heart.

Kent- A lack of communication is a better word for him being pissed and trying to figure out if it's him or some other dumbass. If it's him he would just convince the Mc to get the surgery for it. Loving him is too dangerous especially if that person finds out.

Naamah- She is the only one who can remove it like it never happened as she can change people's fates so the disease never happened. (Since it is a functional disease Im doing this because she would do this. Especially if it was towards someone else.) But if you want to know how she reacts she will sorta go half crazy like bad shit so her daughters would need to get involved to help. And the process of setting the perfect setup. Operation Love. Don't ask who came up with the name.

Blaze- Will reset the timeline. To where you never meet him or whoever you are in love with. That's his solution.

Zero- Sadly would not react outward. But his projects would be affected. He would start to piece it together and would be sad. Would make an effort to be around you. And try to tell you sooner rather than later he likes you.

#ZeroRO #BlazeRO #NaamahRO #KentRO #AzaleaRO #VanessaRO #DaniellaRO #BeccaRO #LisaRO #HelenaRO #AliceRO #anonymous #bear hug 🤗 for you anon

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vaugarde · 1 year

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✨❤️✂️🧠 for all of team starfall!!!

KJDL:GJFDL:GJDFL:GJDFLGFDG EVE OMG YAY

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

-skylar: tbh i just thought skylar was a really pretty name and wanted it for one of my characters at the time. i coulddd change it to something that has more meaning that aligns with their character but uhhhh their original name within the story kinda does that anyways i think dfklsdf. im attached at this point

-asha: *hangs my head low* i saw it in wings of fire and thought it was cute. ok but for real i decided it for asha after looking up the meaning, which is "life" which sounds broad but considering her story is about how she and certain antagonists are not sure if she deserves life at all? is fitting

-valerie: another name that i just thought was cute. you can see a theme here. but the word valerie is often associated w fairies and mermaids, at least when i checked it was, and valerie is both! so on a superficial level it works

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

skylar: they would tell you that taking down their first ultra beast with little experience was one, or unlocking their psychic powers- it made them feel on top of the world- but their real best memories was one evening after a particularly harsh day- they and asha had been targeted again and struggled to find a place to heal- everything slowed down. this was earlier in their travels, and both were panicked children who didn't Quite gel at first. skylar was even planning on running off if it meant they wouldn't get attacked. but that night, they were prepared to sleep off their injuries until asha went out and got them food, and came back with that and a warm blanket they'd taken. asha put the blanket around them, making sure they were comfortable, and pat their head until they were nearly asleep. though it was still restrained since asha didn't want to get too close and hurt skylar, it was one of the first moments of intimacy skylar could remember. that was when they realized they wanted to stay with asha despite their differences and situation.

asha: castor taking them out to see the stars at around age 8 after a really stressful day where she shut down, almost glitched out and couldn't talk to anyone because they were just afraid they'd break. she felt humiliated and self hating because this happened at school. castor, wanting to help her feel better, flew her up to the clouds and they searched the night sky for all of the other planets and stars out of their reach. the whole time, asha was wrapped in his wings, trying to show her that he wasn't afraid of her despite her condition being contact-based, as well as give her physical comfort. it's part of why the night sky is so important to her, it's one of her core memories.

valerie: marlow deciding that it'd be good for her to know her water type roots around age 10 and taking her on a small trip through the ocean's edge and rivers through serenade falls, including letting her play behind serenade's popular waterfall. since marlow would often have to work hard to support them, it was a beautiful day where the two of them could just bond and be normal siblings for a day, and it was also when valerie could just explore and find new things for a day.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

skylar: it's hard for them to place. most of their memories are gone, and only a few vague ones appear to them in the form of dreams. but they would consider those dreams nightmares. the worst one they can barely describe, is of their own body being stretched and strained while hearing a voice crying in either anger or sadness, until they came apart entirely.

asha: being separated from her family. it was the first time she was really, truly, all alone. and not only that, she was trapped in an unfamiliar world with no guidance or comfort, and they were being hunted by... someone. multiple people. things. everyone was out for her. it's not a memory she likes to reflect on.

valerie: trying to perform on her own for some time without marlow's help, believing so hard- even with her condition, she could perform moves fine, so she'd be okay, right? and for a while, she was. but she wore herself out hard. she ended up being bedridden while her aura stabilized, missing the winter solstice festival that year. the guilt on marlow's face haunts her to this day.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

skylar- oh the main thing i love about them is a. big spoiler JLKSDJFLSDJFDSF but otherwise!! i really enjoy thinking about their backstory and how it's affected them to the present. they're very similar to valerie in a lot of ways (to a point i might have to tweak them further actually) in that they've been restrained for so long that they just revel in the fact that they can just... do whatever they want. be free. not hold anything back. it takes them a bit to realize, what with the amnesia, but by the time valerie enters the picture, they're a chaotic force to be messed with!

asha- oh i will project onto her so hard. ok for real i am just a sucker for characters that are stoic, blunt, and lonesome to a fault but have a kind spot that shines through, and theyre like that because of a wall theyve put up that has to be lowered with time. asha starts off the story as a very jaded person who hates herself to the point that if she didnt fear death so much, she would have just let it consume her. but their story is about them learning to love themself as they are and take control of their life and let them seek out things that make them happy, and realize how she's impacted the lives of those around her. idk shes very special to me and i love her sm...

valerie- BY FAR it is her optimism combined w her insecurities. omg. first of all her joyful personality is so fun to write, and it's not a front or anything, she's not inconsiderate like princely is in BoP's beginning, she's just someone who loves the people in her life, loves the world around her, and wants to be a positive influence for everyone. the problem that comes with that though... is that she's a doormat. she doesn't often get what SHE wants because she's just giving and giving and giving. she doesn't think she doesn't deserve to take, necessarily, but the opportunity just isn't there a lot of the time. the few times she's reached out to try and get what she wants most- an adventure around the world- it's been squandered somehow. whether she gets denied an escort request or someone in her life puts the idea down because "you're too frail for that! it'd be better for you and everyone to sit still". i don't like, LOVE that ofc but it just makes her feel very real to me. i think she's admirable and its understandable to me how she changes throughout starfall... and in the end, still decides to be a positive influence, now being able to stand up for herself and getting the aide she needs.

#i had to stop and charge my laptop at one point during this KSDLFJSLKF #moonscape #mail #i will go off so hard on my ocs. they are like a brother to me

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danieldrivesfast · 14 days

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ummm okay so saw you defending chloe stroll and i’m just gonna drop this here and have you explain yourself: https://x.com/samluvssports/status/1799088321643360275?s=46&t=pZsCA2EnETAkM-gCmvPyQA

like i’m genuinely curious on your stance since she is defending the israel government and supporting their actions…? while you’re saying “she has no control over it” sure she doesn’t, but she also has a platform to condemn their actions instead of supporting it.

i don’t think all jewish people are zionists because that is far from the truth. some have no opinion about the genocide, some are also supporting palestine (im pretty sure there’s some instagram account called “jews for palestine? correct me if im wrong), while some support israel. it’s hard to argue for chloe who openly supports israel… so what’s your opinion?

Hello, you illiterate, antisemitic dumbfuck! I know talking to an uneducated child who's incapable of critical thinking, using context clues, or even looking at dates is very much like playing chess with a pigeon, but here we go because I have the time. I don't expect someone like you to be able to comprehend anything, obviously. But let's try.

You're showing things that were posted in the immediate aftermath of the original terrorist attack. Not recently. A year ago. If your immediate reaction to those innocent people being killed and taken hostage at that festival was "lol they deserve it, free Palestine," that's a moral failing on you, and I hope it comes back on you tenfold. No random bystander could have guessed where things would lead at that point.

Even the Michael Douglas post, the thing you shared, is about a service for the people killed in the original terrorist attack and calls for a quick, peaceful end to the war. That she liked, and presumably agreed with. I can't believe you're so illiterate that you'd even share something that directly rebuffs what you're claiming. I know Jewish people aren't real people to antisemites like you, but those innocent people have just as much right to be remembered as any other victim.

When you're a hateful idiot looking for any reason to shit on a Jewish person, I wouldn't expect better than your bullshit. People like you are so fucking unnecessary to humanity. You don't care about the issue, you care about jumping on a bandwagon, liking bullshit tweets, and pointing fingers instead of actually doing anything helpful for anyone. "The Jews" is pretty low-hanging fruit for a group to blame for everything, but again, I don't expect better. Is Palestine free now? Because you left an ask about hating Chloe Stroll in a Tumblr inbox? Do you feel good about yourself now? All the innocent people are safe because of your comment, right?

Anyone who thinks a random Jewish woman, ANY random Jewish woman, endorses a genocide because she showed support to her people in the time immediately following a vicious attack on them is undeniaby an antisemite, and an idiot.

I hope you cry yourself to sleep every night knowing that Chloe Stroll, a Jewish woman, is living your fantasy life while you're a meaningless waste of oxygen. But hey, at least you had the conviction to put your name to the hateful shit you spew. 🩷

ETA: And nobody get it twisted. Chloe Stroll just happens to be the person who's mentioned. All of the above applies for all Jewish people being accused of shit just because they're Jewish.

#tw: antisemitism #you come at me with hate #i'll give you back double

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fictional-scenarios · 3 years

Note

hello! can i request an angsty fic with aizawa and f! reader where they break up? thank you!

i hope you enjoy this! i did it from his perspective, hope thats okay! also i know he probably wouldn’t actually be like this in a relationship, but for the fic, this is the only way i could see him being at fault :3

always appreciate reblogs and comments! if you’d lie to support me, here’s my ko-fi!

In the worst of the aftermath, Aizawa was not angry. He was never angry, not truly. Not even when he’d snap at his friends for bringing up her name, or when he’d feel rage churning in his stomach at the thought of her being with another. He was never angry.

He was sad. So devastatingly, core achingly sad, that it kept him bed ridden for days at a time. Work, come home, eat and sleep. It wouldn't end.

He’d always considered his quant home a safe haven, but lately it’d been feeling like a prison. It felt like a haunting museum, little bits of her as far as the eye could see. The memories were so vivid, he could still almost see the figure of her standing in his doorway. He could see her leaning on the window sill peering outside. He could see her shoes by the front door, her toothbrush in a cup upon his sink. He could see her under the covers with him, hushed laughter and soft snoring into the early morning.

Even now, he see’s her beside him in bed. He see’s the indent of where she should be, now terribly empty. It makes him feel cold, alone.

But, being alone had never been a huge issue to him before all this. In fact, he knows it was the downfall of him.

She’d just wanted him to go out with her now and then. She just wanted to take photos with him, hold his hand out in public without feeling like she’d been forcing him.

Aizawa buries his face in his hands, his back leaning against the cold wall, blanket curled around his waist like a weight.

All she had wanted was just a little more life. Just a few more kisses, a few more hugs. A few more signs that he truly cared for her, but he wouldn’t hear of it. She knew he loved her, why couldn’t that be enough?

He refused public dates that weren’t anniversaries or events. He hated photos. He hated when she’d clasp fingers around his own, hated it because all it brought was attention. Paparazzi's scavenging and ruining every affectionate and tender moment they’d shared together in public.

He never understood why it had to be public. He couldn’t wrap his mind around why she would insist they get out and so something together. Why couldn't hanging out in the seclusion of his home be enough?

Always so stubborn, especially when it would have been the correct time to give in. His annoyance and unwillingness to be anything other than slow moving and low maintenance drove her away from him. He was just fine being on his own, so why couldn't she?

‘I feel like you’re embarrassed of me,’ She’d cried, having hit her breaking point. ‘I feel like you don’t even really care about me.”

Aizawa’s jaw tightens. Of course I care about you. Why else would I want you here?

He should have said that. But, he didn’t. Just silently witnessed the destruction unsure of what to do next. Unsure of whether to argue, or remain dormant and quiet. Not quite apathetic, but he was never one for a shouting match.

Unfortunately, he chose to remain still in the face of a crumbling heart.

‘Even now, you won’t say a word. You don’t ever talk to me, Shota. You never ask how my day was, or if I want to go do anything. Why do I feel like I’m just here so you’re not lonely?’ She’d had fat tears welling in the pits of her eyes. She looked drained, broken. ‘I need more,’ Voice cracking, a terrible realization she’d stumbled upon. ‘I need more than that.’

It was a tense moment of silence. She shook her head and choked back a harsh sob.

‘Then that’s it.’ Lip trembling, feeling unwanted. ‘I can’t do this with you anymore. I’m leaving.’

At the lucid memory, Aizawa wish's he could go back and punch himself in the head. Say something, you idiot, he’d scream. Tell her to stay.

She’d passed him by, and the door slammed shut before he even turned to watch her go.

It’s been weeks now, and he can’t seem to get his head right. It’d taken days before she came to collect her things, something he hoped would never come to be. A stupid part of him believed that she’d come around for some reason. It’d happened before- her storming out, him never changing, her missing him enough to just... Get over it. This time, however, was much different.

Sinking in the memories, Aizawa feels his throat tighten at everything she’d said, and even worse, everything he didn’t say. His phone lights up beside him.

yamada: are you still moping in there???? come out w us tonight! you need to get outta bed at some point

yamada: its been weeeeeeks!!!!!!! come on!!!!!!!

Aizawa knows he does. He knows his friend has been trying to get him to leave since it happened, but it’s hard. He answered his friend, deciding that tonight he would in fact go out for a few hours just to clear his mind- anything is starting to become better than seeing a home empty of her. He sends the message, and his heart grows heavy.

He said yes to his friends when he was feeling sorry for himself, but never for her. He knew he deserved it, but it hurt not having her anymore. Especially when all he had to do was say yes sometimes.

What stung the most was that he didn’t get to see her when she came to collect all her items, cram them into a box and leave for the last time. He’d hoped at that point, if it ever came to that, he could convince her to stay. But.. She hadn’t told him she was coming. Perhaps because she knew she was bound to give in.

He came from from U.A., hoping that she’d be there, sleeping soundly or sitting terse on the couch ready for an argument ending conversation.

But, she wasn’t there. In fact, nothing of her was. All her things vacated. Everything but the memory of her stripped away.

Aizawa had stood stunned in the doorway. Then, it all came crashing down. She was serious this time. It was set in stone.

She’d really left him.

He didn’t think she’d actually leave him. Arguments were always so easy for Aizawa. He was a firm believer in ‘take me as a I am, or don’t take me at all.’ But, he’d never realized just how much changing she’d done for him.

When he’d first met her at a group outing, she was full of life. She was bouncy and energetic. She had a sea of friends, a world of opportunities. But with him, with Aizawa’s stubbornness combined with her need and want to spend time with him, she went out less and less. Contacts in her phone dwindled from a vast ocean to merely puddles.

Seldom she went out, and on the rare occasions she was able to get Aizawa to go, she’d dress in her best just for him to chastise her. ‘We’re not going anywhere that fancy,’ he’d remark, not noticing how her eyes fell. ‘Aren’t you a little over dressed?’

Guilt tore up his heart, now. She was always so beautiful dressed up like that, how could he ever say those things? Too late did he notice how she’d changed everything for him. Lost friends, missed outings, just so she could remain by his side. He did everything wrong and wasn't even willing to see it. He felt like a neglectful, stubborn, ass.

Forcing himself up from bed, it takes all his strength to get up and wander into the bathroom. He’d need to start getting ready then if he was to go later. He was a slow moving creature, after all. Lazily, mentally drained and exhausted, he opens the mirror and pulls his toothbrush from the little shelves inside. The mirror swings shut and he’s met with his dreadful reflection.

His eyes are even darker, redder, than they ever were with his quirk. Even he could tell he looked worse for wear. Drained, emotionally vacant yet so powerfully overrun with them at the same time. He looked dead. He brings the toothbrush to his teeth, but can’t bring himself to find the motivation to actually begin cleaning up.

So tired.

He just wants to sleep again.

He wants to text her. But he doesn’t.

Tossing the toothbrush into the sink, resting his elbows on the edges and allowing his head to hang in sorrow, he wonders what she’s doing right now. It’s a warm Friday evening, the blue sky wide and clear. He’s sure she’s going out tonight, finally allowing herself the freedom to make up for all the time she’d missed with her friends. Friday’s were always Aizawa’s least favorite day. He just knew she’d want to go out, and he’d always combat it with a movie she’d been wanting to see, coming up with some random excuse as to why it wouldn’t be an ideal idea to go out.

Then, he’d ignore how she sadly watched her friends social media stories about the night, and ignored their texts asking why she’s never around anymore.

God, what he would give for one more Friday night with her. He’d dress up, he’d take her somewhere so nice even he would be afraid he couldn’t afford the food. Her and all her friends. Whoever she wants, the whole world if need be. He’d do anything she wanted, strut her to a party on a red-carpet. Anything just for another Friday night.

Aizawa’s eyes cast back up to his reflection. A lump forms in his throat, he watches his eyes glisten with tears. He wants to fall into the floor and forget about everything.

Pushing himself away from the sink, he shake his head and gags on how tight his threat feels. Without even a moments hesitation, he finds himself right back in his room, pulls the covers aside, and drowns in them all over again. It’s dark, it’s cold. His own rooms uninviting without her.

Yet, he can’t seem to bring himself to leave it.

His phone sits on his pillow. Aizawa opens his friends message.

‘im going to stay in tonight. thank you for inviting me. im tired’

Aizawa doesn’t even want to see the messages his friend instantly starts blowing his phone up with. Instead, seconds after the text sends, he holds the power button until the entire screen goes black. He rolls over to face the wall, and he feels like he’s made of led. He swallows hard and gives into sleep all over again. His arm slings around a pillow, and he clutches it to his chest.

A forever inanimate reminder of where she once laid.

#aizawa shouta #angst #bnha #mha #imagine #x reader

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afro-hispwriter · 3 years

Text

ALICIA CLARK X FEM DIXON READER

After Ricks disappearance (twd) and Fixing the plane era(ftwd)

F/I- first initial

Warnings- language, implied smut

a/n- i wrote this a long time ago, its been posted on on wattpad for a while so i decided to post it on here… Enjoy!

Rick was gone, things were falling apart. Your dad, Daryl left the communities to join search parties all the way until he was the last one searching. Michonne and you wanted to keep looking but her pregnancy was to far along, and you basically took care of her and Judith. The atmosphere feels familiar just like when Carl died, you and him were best friends, you supported him in every one of this decisions even helped him get with Enid.

But this felt worse.

The person who has made sure everybody survives is dead. The man who was a mentor to you, the man who saved your father in countless occasions is dead. Morgan left almost 2 years ago and nobody heard from him. You knew Rick and him were close, he helped Rick when he came out of hospital. He deserves to know what happened and you will make sure of it.

"I want to go out and see the world for myself and I want to find Morgan." You said at dinner to Michonne and surprisingly who joined your dad.

"Excuse me what, you want to leave a whole state and travel to Texas just to see the world and find Morgan and for what?" Asked Michonne raising an eyebrow. Your dad sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"I agree kid. Why?" He asked looking at you.

"Ok first I'm pretty sure I'm 18, I'm supposed to be enrolling for college planning out my life, seeing what else is out there. I can take of myself of the time I have been surging in this world I can make it I'm sure if it. And second all of us know how much Rick meant to Morgan, I can go to Texas and tell him what happened maybe he will even come back even if it's for a little bit." You said enthusiastically. The adults shook their heads taking in the information.

"I'll think about it." Said your dad and Michonne nodded going back to eating.

"There's gotta be another reason you wanna leave." Said Daryl as you walked to your home.

"I already said why Dad." You said looking ahead

"No, you didn't I know ma own kid." He said stopping and he grabbed your arm so you would stop as well making you roll your eyes.

"I hate the atmosphere that is going on, it's like when Carl died but worse and I hate it. I just need to go, I need fresh air Dad, i need to see whats out there maybe even help people." You said throwing your arms in the air looking up at the sky. Daryl smiled, you would always talk about helping people when you were just 4 years old. But now that the apocalypse happened he never thought he'd actually have to let you be on your own anytime soon, maybe it was time.

"Alrigh I'll talk to Michonne tomorrow, I'll get ya that trip." He said and you smiled before pulling him into a big hug.

"Thank you father." You said and he chuckled.

"Ok y/n, ya have a high range walkie(i know those don't exist for very long distances)for when you get farther and farther away from ere and you have food to last a month or so and water for a week or two. And gas in the car to last Ya couple miles at least to get out of Virginia. A map, a gun with 2 rounds, and please try to put notes or something out there to tell me your alive, please I don't want to go out lookin for ya. Cant loose you kid." Said your dad who it was clear was very nervous on letting you leave.

"I'll be fine dad, I have been taught from the best of the best." You said and then you saw his eyes water.

"No, no dad don't cry because then I will. We have to be strong i promise I'll be fine. We agreed on 2 months if I'm gone more than that or if you don't hear from me when those months come to an end you come looking for me." You said holding back the tears.

"I know kid, I know it's just ya growin to fast." He said looking at you.

"Fuck it come ere kid." He said and pulled you in for a tight hug. You hugged him back hard, soaking up his affection, which definitely doesn't come everyday. You pulled away and looked up at him.

"I'll be fine dad ok, I'll be back." You said and backed up, everybody stood around and you waved before looking at Michonne and pointed at her belly.

"I better be godmother when I come back." You said smiling

"Yes ma'am." She said with a smile on her face. You got in the car and turned it on, you had some doubts on leaving but knew this has to happen. Your dad came to the window and leaned on it and you took in a breathe.

"Please don't loose yourself, if you have to stop stop. Don't leave the people who care about you." You told your dad and he sighed knowing exactly what you meant by that. He was looking for Rick so much it was taking him away from you. Daryl stepped back and you smiled at everybody and waved.

"I'll be back in 2 months I promise." You announced and they all smiled, you put the car in drive and drove off watching the gates close behind you.

"Y/n can you hear me." Your dad said over the walkie and you grabbed it.

"Yeah dad I can hear you."

You got to Tennessee right before the car stopped. You sighed and looked around to see if there was anything a car or a store. You grabbed the walkie and took in a breathe, please work, you thought.

"Dad can you hear me?" You asked and heard static then his voice.

"Ya I can, ya alright?" He asked

"Ya I'm fine, I'm in Tennessee but I think that soon probably a couple more miles you won't be able to hear me so im starting with the notes." You said and held back tears.

"Alright I love ya." You heard him sniffile before the walkie went out.

"I love you to dad." You said and out the walkie away and grabbed the pack. You opened the pack and grabbed the note book and pen. You wrote, STILL ALIVE- F/I, and looked for a place to put it. After an hour you found a gas station and put the note on the counter under a rock.

"Dad not sure if you can hear me but, if you do come for me I'm leaving notes in stores." You put the walkie back and grabbed your knife and stabbed a walker that came for you.

Almost 13 days (that's what google said). 13 days and nights of running and hiding from herds. Avoiding people, some you had to kill. Your feet hurt even after taking a days break in Arkansas but you finally have reached Texas. Not knowing where Morgan is you decided to use the walkie every few miles in. You looked at the map and Texas was huge, it could take a few weeks to find him, if he is even alive. But you needed a break so you needed to find somewhere safe. You found a house that looked safe enough so you cleared it, only 3 walkers where in it.

You set up a fire and out a can of beans over the fire. You grabbed the map and decided where you should head to next.

(A/n- I read that season 5 of fear is filmed in New Braunfels, Texas and its near Austin soon)

Austin, Texas, in school in Alexandria the teacher said Austin is pretty popular. Morgan could be there so that's where you would start. You took a 2 days rest and even found a lake to bathe in, after getting supplies you made your way to Austin. You left a note at the WELCOME TO TEXAS sign and left another at store the another. There was a hotel a little father form the house and out another there.

After a day or so you were closer to Austin and decided it's time to try with the Walkie.

"Morgan, it's Y/n I'm in Texas, I don't know if your alive but I'm here." You said and put the walkie away after no answer. You walked for what seemed hours when you saw the Austin sight and grabbed the walkie.

"Morgan I'm in Austin." You said into the walkie and decided to start trying different channels as you repeated the question though each. You tried the last channel and was about to put it away when you heard voices and your heart sped up.

"Morgan?" You asked and kept moving the circle to hear it more clearly.

"John, June you there." Someone said, it was a deep voice and noticed it was Morgan's voice.

"Morgan, Morgan, it Y/n Dixon from Alexandria, please hear me." You said pleading to yourself.

"Y/n wha-." He started. "What are you doing out here so far, where are you?" He asked.

"Umm I'm by the Welcome to Austin sign. Where are you maybe I can find you." You said and out down to the ground pulling the map out."

"I have two people close to you y/n, don't be alarmed their names are John and June." He said and you sighed.

"Ok." You said wearily.

"John, June did you hear that." Asked Morgan and a female bodice came through.

"We hear you Morgan, on our way Y/n." A man said.

"Hang tight y/n." Said Morgan and you sat back. You grabbed a paper and pen and wrote. FOUND MORGAN. You sat there for a while when a car approached and stopped next to you, you raised you knife reading to attack of nesassary. The window went down and the man and woman out there hands up.

"Hold on hold on young lady I'm John and this is June, we come to get you." John said and you hesitated.

"We won't hurt you i promise." June said. You nodded and grabbed your stuff and opened the car. You sat down and watched John and June's every move.

"So where did you come from?" Asked John and you sighed.

"Long story." You breathed out a laugh and they smiled.

"Guess we will know about it after you meet Al." Said June and you cocked your head to the side.

"Who's Al?" You asked wearily.

"She was journalist before and she interviews everybody on their stories." Said John and you nodded.

"Morgan, who is y/n?" Asked Alicia as she and Luciana approached him.

"She's comes from Virginia and Alexandria like me, she's around your age Alicia." Said Morgan smiling and Alicia rolled her eyes.

The car came to a stop out some gates and they opened. The car pulled in and people crowded around. John and June got out and your door opened revealing Morgan. You got out of the car and hugged him before pulling away to look over all the people. It was a whole bunch of little kids then a whole bunch of adults.

You looked around and your eyes fell on a very pretty girl with brown hair and hazel eyes. Her eyes where on you but they seemed defensive like yours at the moment. You felt uncomfortable and Morgan said to clear a path so you could sit down.

"I have been walking for almost 20 days, Car broke down when I reached Tennessee." You said to Al and she smiled. Everybody else was sitting around eating dinner as they heard your story how you arrived here.

"You have any family, back in Virginia?" She asked and you nodded.

"I have my dad, and more people who became my family, we have lost some but they will never be replaced." You said.

"Lover?" She asked and you shook your head no.

"Nope pretty much a virgin." You said and they all laughed.

Alicia started at you slowly relaxing that you were not a threat, all of them did.

"Why did you come here?" Asked Al and you sighed.

"I was 12 when the world started, I'm like 18 now. I'm supposed to be enrolling into college now, planning out my life going to go see what's out there. The apocalypse may have happened but I still want that chance. And Morgan I need to tell you something, privately." You said and he looked at you concerned. He gave Al a look and she shut the camera off then got the film. He stood up and you followed, he stopped just a few feet from everybody and waited for you to speak.

"Ricks gone." You said. "Gone not dead, just gone it's like he disappeared." You said looking down, thinking about that day.

"Wha- what how, what happened." He asked.

"Bridge explosion, he saved everybody." You said and Morgan nodded then you heard someone clear their throat.

"I'm sorry Morgan." Said June, you looked at him confused.

"I told them about Virginia, they how me and Rick go back." He said and you nodded.

"They haven't the body?" He asked and you shook your head.

"No, my dad, he has been looking out there by the bridge everyday, Michonne is pregnant with Ricks kid and she's about to give birth so she can't look anymore. And I was practically taking care of Judith so I couldn't either. And others have their own thing." You said and Morgan nodded again before walking off. You sighed and and smiled at the group.

"Anything else you guys want to know about me?" You asked and Al came forward.

"I want to know about the king and the tiger." Said Al and you nodded walking back to the fire.

You told everybody what you needed to know. Your guard was down long ago, you kept sneaking glances at the girl who's name is Alicia and she looked back at you as well. You got ready for bed when you were approached by Alicia.

"We never had a formal introduction, I'm Alicia Clark." She said holding her hand out and you shook it.

"Y/n Dixon."

You talked the night until you fell asleep from exhaustion. You learned about her family, all the things she has been through and you shared hers. She told you about her boyfriends and you felt a pang of jealousy, 'Gosh y/n you don't even know this girl,' you told your self. You fell asleep after an hour and Alicia put a blanket over you and whispered goodnight and left. You woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and got up. You looked in the mirror and braided your hair into two. You went outside and the people started building some type of plane. You approached Alicia as she was talking through a microphone looking at parts. She saw you approach and she smiled, you then looked up and saw a plane.

"Hey what's with the plane, didn't see that last night?" You asked Lucianna as you approached her, she smiled and sighed.

"A few weeks ago we were on a plane and we crashed landed a few miles from here, we actually came from here at first so we came back. Those kids they left biters out there tied up to keep us away, because it's not safe. We gained their trust and we are building this plane so we can get out of this place." She said sun you nodded you looked over the people and your eyes fell on him.

"Dwight?" You said sternly and he looked at you eyes widening.

"Mini Dixon, what are you doing out here?" He asked and you glared at him grabbing your knife when you felt a hang go to it, you saw Morgan shaking his head to stand down.

"What are you doing here, I thought you were dead?" You asked him.

"I'm lookin for Sherry, my wife, not trying to cause any trouble." He said and raised his good arm as a surrender. You nodded and stood down every body who watched went back to what they were doing. Alicia came in-front of you with a concerned look.

"So what's your story with him?" She asked

"He served the man who killed two people of my family and kept my father in a cage keeping him like an animal." You said looking at her with hard eyes.

You lended you knowledge on fixing things with the plane. It's clear they were grateful on your help, you fixed the engine to the best of your ability.

"Y/n want to come with me to a ware house, we need more parts." Said Alicia and you nodded. You made your way down and smiled at her.

Small Alicia POV

Gosh she is so beautiful. I met her yesterday and I feel like I have known her since forever. Call me crazy but I'm starting to get feelings for her already.

Regular POV

The butterflies in your stomach were almost painful when you were near Alicia. She was gorgeous, you felt like you could tell her everything and you almost have from Atlanta to now. You grabbed your backpack, emptying it out of anything that was worth leaving just encase. You took your knives and gun and left to find Alicia. She was waiting outside a car and got in when she saw you. You sat in the drivers seat and looked to see if anybody else was going, luckily no one was there.

"Anybody else going?" You asked and she shook her head.

"Do you have a problem with it, because I can get someone to come with us may-." She started but you shook your head no.

"I have no problem at all." You said and winked making her cheeks flush red. She drove to the warehouse and she told you the parts to look out for as well as food. You took out two walkers with your knives and looked back to see Alicia looking at you with awe.

"Never taken out biters with knives really." She said chuckling. You looked down and saw a metal pole that was sharpened at the edges.

"Well I mean that pole is badass, where did you get it, might need to get myself one." You asked.

"A water park." She said smiling and you nodded.

"Alright tell you what I teach you how to fight with knifes and we stay a little longer to find a pole similar to yours. Deal?" you asked holding your hand out. She thought for a second and took your hand and shook it.

"Ok come here stand in-front of me." You said as two walkers approached you both. She stood infront of you and you handed her your knives, you stood close to her.

"Now, you going to want to dodge them, go in between them. Remember you have to use strength to kill them just cant push it in. I'll be here just encase." You said. The walkers go closer and Alicia tightened her grip on the knives.

"Go you said." And she ducked as they swung at her, you backed up out of reach then one by one they were both put out.

"That was great, remember you gotta faster and if you have someone behind you, let's say as kid you have to push them back, maybe use you leg or arm. Even an adult if they don't notice you have to act quick." You said and she nodded cleaning the knives.

"Thanks I'll definitely use that, after I find knives." She said.

"If you can get a hunting knife there much stronger and lighter." You said and she nodded. You found a majority of the parts needed and headed back to the car.

"I found this." She said and handed you a metal pole with holes in it. You grabbed it and smiled at you, you got one of your knives and it's holster and handed it to her.

"Thank you Alicia, as a true thanks here's one of my knives, work with one just for now you will go better I just know of it." You said and she smiled brightly.

"Thank you, now let's get back and we can sharpen the edge." She said and started the car.

You kissed her cheek and pulled back getting a red face. You looked at her though the corner of your eye and saw her face was red.

When you arrived back to the truck stop, she helped sharpen the metal pole. You and her had a flirty thing going on for the rest of the month until you started feeling sexual tension start to arise. The stares would last long as well as lingering touches, she thought you how to use the pole and you taught her knives. Everybody shared their knowledge with you and you did with them.

The plane was just about finished when you realized if they finish the plane you may loose them, loose her.

"So, where do you guys plan on going after getting the rest of your group?" You asked Alicia as she ate dinner, sitting on the ground.

"Not sure, definitely leave this area." She said and you nodded seeing how bad the area is, you sat down next to her and she offered some of her dinner but you waved it off.

"Maybe fly to Virginia." She said lowly and you looked at her like she was crazy.

"I'm just playing can't risk another crash, especially where the girl I likes home is." She said and looked at you. Your face went red and the butterflies in your stomach, she grabbed your chin and pulled your face closer to hers.

"Y/n Dixon I like you a lot, it's ok if you don't but-." She said but you silenced her with a kiss. She pulled you in harder making you moan, she set her dinner down and you pushed her on the ground, straddling her. You looked up and saw there were people still around so you pulled away.

"Want to take me to your tent?" You asked and she nodded, you got off her and held your hand out which she gladly took. She led you to her tent opening it and pulled you inside. You slid your shirt off and she did the same.

She looked at yours left arm and stomach and noticed a beautiful tattoos.

(This but all around the forearm)

(Something like that)

"Didn't know you had tattoos." She said and scratched her head.

"Oh yeah... do they bother you?" You asked.

"No no they are actually really hot." She said making you blush. You walked over to her and pushed her onto the makeshift bed.

"Wait crap I've never had sex with-." She started and you kissed her.

"It's ok, I'll teach you." You said and she looked at you confused.

"After Carl died, his girlfriend, Enid, and me got close and we ended up in bed together. It was just one night didn't mean anything." You said and stroked her hair.

"Didn't say that in the interview." She said and leaned back letting you crawl on top of her.

"Some things are just not to be meant to be said." You said and winked at her. You went down and captured her lips, she raised her hands and caressed your sides. You laid down on her putting your weight on her body making her moan.

"Just relax let me do the work." You said and trailed down her stomach.

a/n- once ftwd season 6 comes to hulu I’ll be able to continue my part 2

#alicia clark x reader #Alicia clark x dixon reader #x female reader #fear the walking dead #Daryl dixon x daughter reader #the walking dead #alycia debnam carey #alicia clark

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dreamrecorder · 4 years

Note

Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request

Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.

Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj

But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-

Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️

The heart yearns and the wind heard

lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks

anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long

The Yaksha sighs.

He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.

He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.

He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.

One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.

Xiao sighs again.

This is his karmic debt.

The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.

You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.

With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.

“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.

“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.

You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.

Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.

Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.

Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.

“Name?”

You answered immediately with a questioning hum.

“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”

It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.

Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.

Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’

“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.

When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.

“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.

“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.

The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.

Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”

Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”

You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.

“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”

The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.

“Did Ganyu tell you?”

The Archon nodded and you sighed.

“I volunteered, actually.”

And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.

“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.

For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.

“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”

A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”

You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”

“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”

The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?

You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”

Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.

To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“

“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.

As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.

If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.

Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.

Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.

Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.

The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.

It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.

It’s ready.

With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.

Scratch.

Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.

Scratch.

Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.

Scratch.

Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.

Scratch.

What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-

“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”

The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.

The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”

There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.

As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.

Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.

Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.

He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.

Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.

Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.

To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.

Everything hurts-

And everything was driving you mad.

You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall.

This god- he was driving you mad slowly.

If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-

You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.

If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it.

Please

However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.

Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.

The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.

With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more.

“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?”

To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”

“Where?” The Yaksha growled.

“In the Golden House.”

Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.

To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils.

Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself.

It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice.

“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?”

The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-

His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.

In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”

He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue.

In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.

“I will ask you again, where is she?”

In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.

“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.

I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”

Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore.

Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.

All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.

Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.

“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.

With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”

But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil.

“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”

With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer.

Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night.

The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.

You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.

Please, just a little more...

Please, just stop...

Please...

The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.

“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”

With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.

“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-

You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.

“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’

The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”

With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.

After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”

The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.

A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-

how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin scenarios #xiao #genshin xiao #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao genshin #xiao x reader #xiao imagines #zhongli #childe #ganyu #ningguang

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saturnsummer · 3 years

Text

worthy.

When Sol gets a GPA of 2.02, the study group (and Joon Hwi) comes together to cheer her up.

notes: another prompt by @thenerdywriter ! i wasn't sure if you meant it like this, but i hope you are satisfied! thank you for your prompt and your trust! i do apologise for the wait!

not much fluff or cliche romantic scenes, but just simple things that i hope when you read, remember your worth and never be defeated. you are worthy, loved and deserving to be appreciated. :) inbox always open!

for anyone who have sent prompts and asks, i thank you for your ideas! i have read through all your asks and am so excited to begin writing, but please understand if i can’t reply you as fast as i hoped! so sorry for this, i’ll try to address my inbox faster!! any mistakes or incorrect information will be taken responsible by me. enjoy!

edit: everyone, please don’t cry on this omg I’ve made 5 people comment their tears now and im terribly sorry for the tears.. I meant for this to be a light hearted story but looks like everyone is crying,, I’ll try not to make people cry now..

original prompt: where joon hwi and the rest of the gang shake some sense into her (sol a) about her self-esteem.

words: 2787 words

Sol is downstairs at the lounge, holding a clear bottle of soju. She takes another swig from the plastic bottle, hoping that the alcohol can numb her heart like it does to her head. It burns, and she’s turning woozy, but she grumbles and takes another swig.

2.02. She’s passed, at least. But she can’t help but feel upset. She wasn’t upset that she couldn’t score as well as Yeseul or BokGi, but upset that she’s satisfied with these low results. No one is going to hire her, even less offer an internship while looking at her track records.

Sol worked her ass off for this exam. She nearly died, if it wasn’t for Yeseul’s reminders to eat. Even her cold stoned face roommate bothered to place bottles of water on her desk. Yet, after all this...

“Why are you still up?” She hears Joon Hwi ask as he takes a seat next to her. She stays silent with a grim expression and turns away. Joon Hwi was the last person she wanted to see, especially when she’s in such a bad mod.

“What’s wrong?” He asks as he catches her arm just as she’s about to chug her soju.

“Everything.” She slurs. “You know I’m not even upset with my GPA? I’m upset of being happy with my shitty grades.” Joon Hwi sighs, attempting to grab her bottle away.

“I should have never came to study. I should have never tried to prove myself to be Dan!” She scolds louder. Sol knows she’s drunk in front of her best friend, but she can’t control herself. She doesn’t care.

“Kang Sol...” Joon Hwi stands up, grabbing her bottle away from her. “You’re drunk. Go back.”

“I don’t belong here, anyway.” Her slurs catch Joon Hwi in his steps.

“I never once belonged with any of you. Being with all of you just drags you all further. I should just stop burdening you all with my questions and rot in a corner. Besides, no one would care.” She softly says, her voice filled with regret and guilt.

Sol has always felt this way. Ever since she was young, Dan was always the star child. She got top grades while Sol got through in the middle rankings. Dan was always more popular, prettier, smarter. Sol learnt at a young age that no matter what, she would always be overshadowed by Dan.

Thus, she learnt to be quiet. Only ask questions when she really needs to. Stick to familiar people. Only be loud when told to, and blend in in every situation. She learnt to depreciate herself, because no one appreciated her in the first place.

Joon Hwi wants to shake her. He wants to write an entire dissertation on why Sol belongs to Hankuk. He wants to show her what he sees: a smart, caring, passionate lawyer-to-be. He wants to show her what he sees when she testified for Professor Yang in court. A confident, woman knowing her morals and rights.

“Kang Sol.” Joon Hwi says, pulling her up by her wrist. Sol pushes him away, but her touches are sloppy and weak. Sighing, Joon Hwi knows that it is useless to argue about her grades and her worth when she’s not even half conscious of what she’s doing.

He grabs her coat lying on the couch, finding her phone and plans on calling Yeseul. But it’s past 1am, but he doesn’t want to trouble Yeseul. Sighing, he contemplates calling her roomie but reality smacks when he realises she’s home. Noticing how Sol is slowly nodding off, giving in to the fatigue, it leaves Joon Hwi not much of an option to carry her back.

Fishing the room key out from her coat, he takes special care in carrying her, sweeping his arm under her knee and lifting her slowly as to not disrupt her from falling asleep. The key card is in between his fingers as he slowly and quietly makes his way up to her dorm. He thanks the deities above that no one caught him or interrupted him.

Tapping the key card, a standard ‘beep’, he pushes the door with his back, and takes care to get him and her into the dark room. He can barely see anything, especially since he has no hands to on the lights, but he makes out his way in the small room using the moonlight and what he can tell.

Joon Hwi knows which side Sol sleeps, knowing from her stories that include her rolling from the bed up to the desk. By now, Sol was sleeping soundly, a slight snore escaping her. Gently, he sets her down on her bed and reaches to take her shoes off for her. Hanging up her coat that he placed on top of her whilst he was carrying her, he finally pulled the thick blanket over her.

But he didn’t leave just yet.

“I never once belonged with any of you.”

Sol’s words echoed in his head more than he thought it would. He stopped and bent down silently by her bed side, taking a few moments to wonder to himself just how and why does she feel so unworthy.

He grabs her bottle of water from her bag, before putting it next to her phone, which is on the table. Knelt on the floor, he observes the slow rise of her chest and the way her eyes flutter and nose twitch when Sol sleeps. Just how can someone like Sol think she’s any less than what he sees?

“You belong here in Hankuk. I’ll show you just why.” His whisper barely audible, as he brushes away a stray hair on her face. With that, he takes his leave and sneaks back to his dorm. (Without getting caught)

-----

The next day, after two painkillers and a big bowl of hangover soup (left mysteriously by someone at their pantry), Sol is headed to study group. She is running a few minutes early than their scheduled timing, but she’s surprised to find the group huddled in hushed whispers.

“What are you all looking at?” Sol asks, as she sets her book at her usual corner opposite Joon Hwi. BokGi lets out a startled yelp and Yebeom clamps his mouth shut. Sol isn’t surprised to see Jiho crowded there, but is even more shocked to see Sol B crowded with them too. If it was anything, Sol B wouldn’t crowd around and discuss things, unless it concerned herself, or benefitted her grades.

“What...” Sol leans over and raises her eyebrows. Yeseul’s eyes dart nervously and she breaks into a smile. The rest of the group just shuffles back to their seats murmuring under their breath.

“Nothing, unnie! They were just discussing on what to order for lunch.” Yeseul says as she walks over to Sol and takes her bag and books from her, before setting it on the table. “Unnie, shall we get coffees?” Yeseul escorts her out of the room before Sol could react. Sol assumes that it’s due to her hangover that Yeseul is suggesting coffee, thus just following and getting a cold brew and assorted drinks for the others.

When she returns, they distribute the drinks and start discussing on what to study.

“Noona, do you have anything?” BokGi asks, a little too enthusiastically. Sol is taken aback and lost for words. She usually just follows whatever the rest want, since answering her questions will take hours. Joon Hwi gives a sympathetic smile.

“How about you share with us about a recent case? Remember the one that Professor Kim liked in particular?” Joon Hwi suggests. Sol grows quiet. Her? The worst student? Sol let’s out an uncertain laugh.

“Ah, me? I rather my roomie shares. She did better than me.” Sol says, then prepares a fresh document for note taking on her laptop.

“I didn’t do well.” Sol B says quietly, her eyes emotionless as usual, leaning back into the chair. “You did the best. Go on.” Sol is stunned and just nods uncertainly. Taking out her case notes and her reports that she submitted, she nervously discusses the topic on hand. She sneaks Joon Hwi a couple of questioning stares but he only pretends to not catch her eyes.

Everyone is enthusiastic, asking questions and when Sol is stumped, they jump in to help her. They suggest ideas and Sol has never felt so energised by their energy before. She find it fishy how Joon Hwi just sits back and she can feel him smiling whenever she makes a point right or figures out a missing link.

An hour later, when they are done expanding on Sol’s case and discussing, they break for a late lunch together. Yebeom enters the room with bags of food, as usual over ordering. As they pass out containers of jjampong and jjajamyeon, Sol’s eyes light up when she saw the only thing that mattered in the whole order: her beloved pickles, in doubled servings.

What Sol doesn’t expect is for JiHo to dump his packet of pickles on her container of noodles.

“JiHo-ah, why...” Sol is dumbfounded for a moment as JiHo opens his pack of noodles to stir. JiHo only pushes up his glasses.

“You can have them, noona.” Sol is even more dumbfounded. This was the first time JiHo has called her noona. She didn’t care for the honourifics, and JiHo could call her by her full name for all she cared. But hearing those words from Seo JiHo’s mouth, just made her think everyone was utterly suspicious today.

“Okay, everyone is being weird. What is this?” Sol announces, hoping her tone came out fun, with no hints of anger.

“Nothing! We just know you’ve been feeling stressed, so JiHo decided to give you his share of pickles, right?” BokGi quips up, as he dives into taking the sauce to pour over the tangsuyuk, before Yebeom and him argue over pouring or dipping.

Sol, still feeling suspicious, breaks her chopsticks just as Joon Hwi picks up a pickle from her plastic saucer to put on her noodles. Her eyes dart from his chopstick to his face, but he just nods at her pickles, expressions hard to read.

Sol crunches on her pickles, but it does nothing to soothe the feeling that everyone was aware of something, but her.

-----

The rest of the week was a puzzle piece that Sol could not fix together.

She woke up everyday to a new message by Joon Hwi, sometimes sending her funny videos, or a simple “let’s get through this together”. She woke up once to her roomie handing her breakfast and coffee. It just didn’t click in Sol’s head to see the cold Sol B hand her a sandwich and coffee.

Their group chat was undoubtedly noisy, but even more so now. Something in common was how the more chatty ones would ask Sol for advice or chat and strike noisy conversations. She was used to the chaos, but she definitely didn’t feel used to having the attention on her.

As the group had earned different internships from small and large firms, Sol was going to be left in school alone, still applying and hoping for one to come her way. Her study group knew about it, and instead continued to encourage her about it. They avoided talk on their internships, and actively tried to help Sol. While Sol was grateful, she couldn’t help but wish that they would just act normal and not worry about her.

She chose to meet them for breakfast on the day of their internships. The meal was noisy as usual as they ate their sandwiches and gimbaps. They were dressed smartly in their suits with their briefcases. Sol made a fuss over everyone looking smart on their first day.

“Hurry up and eat, you’re going to be late for your internship!” Sol scolded BokGi as he and Yebeom threw comments back and forth. Everyone was off for theirs and ready with their jackets and bags. Walking with them to the door, she couldn’t help but feel like a mom to her kids, sending them to school.

“Noona! Check your table later in the libra-” Yebeom gleefully mused before BokGi clamped his mouth shut and JiHo (with much irritation) smacked his head silently.

“What?” Sol asks, turning to Joon Hwi, who was turning redder by the second. Joon Hwi closes his eyes, the same way he does when he’s embarrassed and looks away from her.

“Listen to Yebeom and check the table.” He says, finally looking at her. “We’ll see you for dinner then.” Waving a quick goodbye, the group walked away from her towards the carpark where they separated to the bus stops or in the direction of the train station.

“O-Okay…” she mutters, still confused as she carries her books and bag to her usual table at the library. She would have went to sulk at Professor Kim’s office for a while, but she instead chose to head straight to study. Professor Kim had enough on her plate and she wasn’t ready just yet to face Professor Kim with her mood.

There, at her table, lies her stack of books.

Normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Huffing out, she slumps her bag on her table, gathering the post its on the bar above the table. Most of them were just plain comments, like how she had to stop slamming her pen into her hand (it distracted students) or move out of the library cause there aren't enough seats. Opening her book on civil code, she was ready to start drilling her head before meeting Professor Kim.

Then she spots an envelope, hidden between the pages of the book.

Carefully, she picks it out and looks on the cream white paper, the only ink on it her name, written in neat handwriting. She could recognise Joon Hwi’s handwriting anywhere. A slight scoff escapes her lips and several students turn in annoyance. Realising that this was probably not the best place to be in, she grabs her books and bags (and the post its) and leaves the library. She heads to the empty study room, where she knows she’s be comfortable at.

Opening the flap, she slips out numerous slips of paper, varying degrees of length and sizes. Some words were neat, some were a little messy.

-----

To: Unnie <3

Sol-unnie, you know you’re smart, right? Your grades may not show that you are the best, but I know you are! Whenever I hear you discuss a case with the study group, I know you’re trying your best to memorise and improve. Don’t give up, unnie! I will support you till the end!

- Yeseul

To: Sol-A noona

Yah, noona! You have to stop injuring yourself, okay? You gave us a really big scare the last time when you started nose bleeding in the midst of study group. Noona, don’t look at your grades anymore! If a man like me can get through law school so far pretty well, you can too! Fighting, noona!

Noona~ you’re really talented. The fact that you scored so well during the criminal law test and managed to spot the comma just shows for amazing you are! Noona, don’t be discouraged... seeing you discouraged makes us sad too. Your favourite dongsaeng is here to help you!

- BokGi and Yebeom

To: Kang Sol-A

You can do it. Review your cases before classes. Get your internship.

-JiHo

To: Sol-A

Live up to your name, will you? And sleep on a regular schedule.

- Roommate

To: Sol

Sunbae, remember me? Stop doubting yourself and trust yourself. You’re smarter than you know and fit for court. I will support you from wherever you are. I’m grateful for you, for supporting me all this time. I think Dan would be proud of you, and so will the cookie Byeol.

Sol, you are worthy in my eyes. So stop undermining yourself. You belong in Hankuk next to me. You can’t give up now.

-Joon Hwi

-----

Sol lets a smile creep on her face as she lets a small blush rise to her face. Holding her letters to her heart, she closes her eyes, reminding herself of the past week and her friend’s efforts to cheer her on. She knew no doubt it had to be Joon Hwi who convinced everyone there to write for her despite their busy schedule. For even Sol B to help out and bother about her, it warmed her heart to have her support.

Picking her book, she pinned her hair up as she started drill into her book with a new found confidence, fuelled by her friends supporting her. But most importantly, she felt worthy. She felt loved. She felt confident. She was hopeful.

(Everyone thinks she’s worthy in their eyes, but one just thinks she’s perfect.)

225 notes · View notes

words-for-holland · 3 years

Text

Always Yours

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.

A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?

“Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.

“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.

“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.

The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.

Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.

Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.

She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.

“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.

“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”

Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”

“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”

Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.

Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”

“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.

Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”

“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.

“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”

Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.

***

Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.

“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.

To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.

“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.

“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”

Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.

Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”

Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”

Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.

***

“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.

Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.

“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”

Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”

“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.

Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”

Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.

Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.

Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”

Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.

Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.

“Im sorry, for being such a —”

“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”

“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

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nastybuckybarnes · 4 years

Text

Of Kings and Beasts - Two

Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve

Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrusted to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Smut, NonCon, Language, Kinda Slow Burn, Bucky with the mood swings, Probably poor editing

Word Count: 3.2K

A/n: I cannot put into words how tired I am rn like idk why im so tired all the time but I am. Anyway, here's another part of this cause I like this series but its SO FUCKING DARK LIKE SO DAMN DARK PLEASE BE WARNED!! I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM WRITING PART THREE BECAUSE ITS FUCKING DARK

THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND VERY DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

PART ONE

~*~

“Your Majesty? Are you feeling at all better today?” You shake your head, curled up on your bed in the fetal position in a pathetic attempt at blocking out the world.

“Please, Majesty. A walk and some fresh air will do you well. It needn’t be long.” You sigh and push your blankets away from your face.

“You will not stop until I agree, will you?” Natasha smiles gently at you. “I’m afraid not, Your Majesty. It is only for your health that I insist.” She helps you to your feet, a frown on her face at the way you struggle still to move.

“You are still in pain?” You simply nod, wincing when she has you step into a dress.

“The pain is more bearable than it was.” She nods, mind wandering as she helps you into your dress for the day.

It’s a simple navy dress with a gold string wrapping around the waist. The sleeves hang past your fingers and you toy with the pretty fabric while Natalia holds an arm around your waist.

The walk is painful and slow and with every step, you wish you were back in your room.

From the looks you get from the staff, you know it’s known how unwelcome you are. This is not how you thought your union would be at all.

~*~

“You were supposed to take care of her! Treat her with kindness and compassion! Not leave her bloody on her bed once you’ve satisfied your need!” Natalia snarls, slamming her hand on the King’s desk. He looks up at her, a bored expression on his face until he processes her words. Then his expression gradually changes to one of regret.

“I... I hadn’t meant to be so rough with her. She... I just... It’s a betrayal, Natalia. I’ve broken my oath to the man I love.” She shakes her head, glaring at him.

“No, it is not. You and Steven made an agreement that you would find a queen. You chose her specifically. And now that Steve is no longer here you’re wanting to back out? That is not how this works, James, and you know that.”

He grinds his teeth together so hard he’s surprised they don’t break.

“That’s exactly the problem! Every time I look at her I’m reminded of him! Because we were supposed to have her together! We were supposed to marry her together and bed her together! She is not mine, she was meant to be ours!”

“And so you treat her like a burden because your husband is not here? You act as though she is nothing more than a whore? That woman in there has feelings, James.” The king pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut to try and reign in his anger.

“You could never possibly understand what it is that I’m feeling. I already admitted to being rougher than I wanted to be. And I should have stopped, but I needed to get it through to consummate the marriage.”

Nat pauses at his words, hoping he doesn’t mean what she thinks he means.

“What do you mean you should have stopped? Did she tell you to stop?”

He swallows hard before nodding.

“She... I could hardly understand her, she was crying so much, but she begged me to a-and she was pushing me away. But I didn’t.”

The harsh sound of her hand connecting with his cheek echoes through the room. The King is stunned but he knows he deserves far worse than a mere smack.

“I never thought you capable of such cruelty, James. That woman is your wife, the Queen of your Kingdom, and you have treated her as if she is the one who took your husband from you.”

He grows angry at the mention of the man he loves. “She is attempting to replace him!” He exclaims, slamming his fist down on his desk to enunciate his point.

“How could you possibly know that?!” Nat counters, her voice raised to match his.

“She has said nothing about wanting to replace Steven! She was well aware that she would be bound to both kings, not just you. I’m sure she is wondering about where her other husband is, why he has not been seen. You need to talk to her. Apologize for brutalizing her the way you have. Mend your relationship with her because she is the only chance you have at continuing your bloodline. She is the only one who can ensure your reign continues.”

The King is silent, mulling over her words before sighing heavily.

“Where is she?”

Nat crosses her arms over her chest. “It has been four days since your marriage and you are only just asking now? She has been unable to walk for the past three days, so she has remained in her chambers. I forced her for a short walk today, but I do not think it did much to lift her spirits.” His jaw clenches for a moment before he lets a breath out through his nose.

“When she is healed I shall talk to her.” It’s not much, but it’s a start, and that’s all Natalia can ask for.

It’s two days after that before you can walk on your own, and even then you’ve got a severe limp. It’s two more days after that before you can sit down on anything besides your bed. It isn’t until ten days after the consummation of your marriage that you leave your room again.

“If you’re feeling healed, the King would like you to join him for tea on his private balcony.”

You’re shocked at Wanda’s words, but you try to hide it, offering her a nod while she helps you get dressed into a simple light blue gown.

She leads you through the Palace towards a side that you’ve never seen before, not that you’ve had much of a chance to explore. When you reach a set of grand oak doors you find yourself growing increasingly nervous.

Wanda, oblivious to your racing heart, knocks twice on the wood then bows to you before scurrying down the hallway and out of sight.

“Enter,” a muffled voice calls. You take a deep breath and push the door open, keeping your eyes cast downwards as you enter the King’s chambers.

His eyes find you immediately, a frown on his face at the way you keep your eyes down on the floor.

“I am glad you’ve rested and recovered,” he says, his frown deepening when you flinch at his voice. You say nothing in reply, simply stand with your hands folded gently atop your skirts.

“Come over to me. The tea is waiting.” You nod, risking a glance up to find where he is and walking over to him. He sits at a small table on the balcony, his attention focused somewhere over the horizon, and you risk taking a breath in.

You carefully sit down on the chair across from him, a wince flashing over your features as discomfort flares between your thighs. The expression doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and a wave of guilt washes through him.

“I... I wanted to apologize for our wedding night. And... I do hope that you can forgive me for my actions and we can start anew.”

You’re beyond surprised and look up at him, unable to stop the look of shock from crossing your face. “Y-you have nothing to apologize for, Your Majesty.”

He watches you, watches the way your fingers tremble as you reach out for the teacup. Watches the way you avoid his eyes and shrink into yourself as if to seem as unthreatening and small as possible.

You’re afraid.

Not that he’s surprised, necessarily. What, with the way he treated you? He’s shocked you’re holding yourself together so well.

“I had not intended on being so rough with you. Especially not on our first night together. You must understand that I am not myself as of late. I am... worried about my husband. Hoping to find him soon.” You nod, Wanda’s words echoing in your head.

“There is nothing for me to forgive, Your Majesty. I understand the way you’d like for us to get along and I understand my purpose and my place. You needn’t strain yourself over me. It is my duty to be at your leisure, even if it is not what I desire.”

Your words stun him into silence, the tension growing between the two of you.

“(Y/n),” your name feels foreign on his tongue yet so very right. “When I said what I had said yesterday... All I meant was that-” “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I do believe I understood. I am not so foolish as to believe that this marriage was for anything besides politics. You and the King need an heir and I am here to provide one. That is my place, as you said. Now I do hope you will excuse me, for I am feeling rather delicate and would very much like to return to my chambers.”

He says nothing, simply nods his head and watches as you hold back another wince as you stand up.

He isn’t alone for long. No, Natalia is strolling into his chambers mere moments after you’ve left.

“That was brief,” she says, eyes taking note of the untouched tea that sits across from the King.

“I apologized. That is all that was required of me, yes?” She groans and shakes her head. “How will Steve feel if, when he returns, you and the Queen cannot remain in the same room? You know that he will be beyond disappointed.”

“What am I to do? I tried to speak with her about it but she... it seems to be strictly political. She does not seem to even want to entertain the idea of anything beyond a loveless marriage.”

“Is that, perhaps because she is afraid of how you will treat her if she were to express her desire to be wanted? If you cannot express with words how you feel, then do so with your actions.”

He doesn’t come to you that night. Nor the night after.

It isn't until the third day after that that you see him again. Even then it isn’t any different than the last time.

You’re leaving your chambers to go for a walk in the garden, something Wanda and Nat have been encouraging upon realizing you’re not feeling like yourself.

“I’m telling you, James. I think it’s him.” That’s Samuel’s voice.

“I think he’s right. We should go see. Send a team out. It doesn’t look like they are very securely guarding him. We could go in and have him back within a month.” That one’s Natalia.

Wanda’s chattering goes unnoticed by you as you realize they’re talking about King Steven.

“If you’re sure about this, then gather a team and have the horses prepped. We’ll leave at dusk.”

As they’re rounding the corner they nearly bump right into you. You and Wanda both stop, both of you dropping into a curtsy while Nat and Sam bow.

“Your Majesty,” they greet. You nod at them, eyes cast down.

“You two are both dismissed. You as well, Lady Wanda. I require a word with my wife.” You’re confused at him calling you his wife but you say nothing, eyes stuck on the ground as three sets of footsteps walk away from you.

He’s quiet, watching the way you avoid his eyes.

Finally, unable to bear the silence anymore and wanting to have him be through with whatever it is he wants, you speak.

“You are leaving?” He waits until you glance up at him to answer.

“I will be, yes. We are not sure how long I shall be gone for. But before I leave I’ll be coming to you in your chambers. There’s the chance that I won’t return, so I need to do my part in ensuring my lineage continues. I haven’t come to you to allow you time to recover, but there is only so long you can expect a man to wait for his wife.” You say nothing, simply nod at him.

“I shall be waiting for you, Your Majesty. Is that all?” He lets out a deep breath before speaking again.

“I require an heir, (Y/n). If I am gone for any longer than two months and you are not with child when I return, I will not be as accommodating as I have been.” You can’t help the scoff that leaves you.

“Is something funny to you?”

You look up at him for a moment then shake your head.

“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. I just hadn’t realized that this was you being accommodating.”

He grabs your face roughly in his flesh hand, fingers digging into your cheeks and forcing you to look at him.

“You watch your tongue with me, woman. If you forget your place I will need to remind you of it, won’t I? But you don’t want that.” Your heart races in your chest and you quickly shake your head ‘no’.

“Remember your place. Or I will beat you back into it. Understand?” You nod and only after a moment longer does he release his grip on your chin.

You drop your head, eyes focused on the ground as he walks away from you. Tears sting at your eyes and you take a few minutes to compose yourself before walking back into the Palace, heading for your chambers.

~*~

He doesn’t bother knocking. He just pushes the door open and makes himself at home. To his surprise, you’re seated on your bed in a nightgown, nose buried in a book.

You’re so caught up in whatever you’re reading that you don’t even notice him.

He takes this moment to really take you in, eyes inspecting your face.

You’re beautiful, that much he and Steve gathered long before even deciding on marrying you. You have a gentle beauty to your face that is such a refreshing change to all the hard and gruesome things he’s seen in his life. He hates that all he wants to do is stare at you.

He notices that. your face lacks its usual glow, and you have dark bags beneath your eyes. Making a mental note to tell Nat to make sure you sleep properly, he takes a step towards you.

You glance upwards, jumping at the way he stands watching you.

He takes another step towards you, unbuttoning his shirt and walking closer to you. You set your book aside and swallow hard.

“How will you have me?” He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, eyeing you for a moment before deciding.

“On your back.” You push the blankets aside and lay down on your back, trying to take deep breaths.

He takes hold of your ankles and gently tugs you down the bed until your bum is at the edge.

His member slaps against your slit and you jolt, tears welling up in your eyes at the memories of the last time this happened.

Instead of pushing into you dry like he did last time, he leans down and spits right on your intimate area. Shame fills you at how close he comes to you, and at the lewd act, but he seems unfazed. He does the same to his length then slowly pushes in.

There isn’t nearly enough lubricant, and it pinches and burns, but it’s not nearly as painful as last time.

That, however, doesn’t stop the tears from raining down your cheeks. Your chest shudders, silent sobs trying to break free. You bring your hands up to your face, pressing one to your mouth and the other shielding the rest of your face from view.

The King stops moving, his brows furrowed and eyes focused on what he can see of your face, trying to see if he’s causing you pain.

“A-am I hurting you?” He asks, his voice strained. You shake your head, keeping your eyes closed and waiting for him to keep going.

He’s hesitant but slowly starts thrusting again, pressing his face into your neck if only so he doesn’t have to see the tears on your face. The tears he’s causing.

It pains him to see such sorrow when a pretty face like yours should only be happy. He hates himself for knowing he’s the cause, but he can’t very well stop. He has a job to do, an heir to create.

He focuses instead on how your body feels beneath him. Soft and squishy in all the perfect places. And by the Gods, you’re so tight and warm around him. He groans softly against your neck, lips subconsciously pressing kisses to the skin as he approaches his climax.

You hold your breath as he fills you with warmth again, his breath hot and damp against your skin.

He stays sheathed within you for a few moments longer before pulling out and tucking his cock back into his trousers.

“I leave in a few hours. My councilmen are in charge while I am gone. Remember your place.” You don’t answer and he pauses, leaning down to grab your face the same way he did before.

“What occurs between us in our bed remains between you and me. I do not want to hear of you saying a word about it to anyone. You are mine and I shall treat you how I want.” You nod, mind and body numb.

“Good. I shall return shortly. If I will be gone longer than a month I will send word.” He exits without another word, leaving you used and broken yet again.

~*~

The riders leave as soon as the sun sets, the king leading them. You watch through the small window in your room, heart heavy as you realize that you well and truly serve but one purpose to the man.

“Dinner, your Majesty.” You glance over your shoulder to where Wanda is holding a tray of food.

“No thank you, Wanda. I am not hungry tonight. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to bed.” She nods, setting the tray down and hurrying to get your bed ready.

“I can do that tonight, Wanda. I would... I would like some time alone, please.” She pauses, the pain in your voice far more evident than you wanted it to be.

“Of course, Your Majesty.” She bows her head, picks up the tray of food, then hurries out of your chambers and leaves you alone for the night.

You hardly sleep at all, silent tears tracking down your cheeks as thoughts of how much better your old life was fill your mind.

You truly are no better than a prisoner, and for a moment you find yourself wishing you were beheaded with your mother.

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