#Automation With Extra Screaming

[the-most-humble-blog]

SUCKS TO BE YOU, DUMBASS: THE SERVITOR FIRE SALE! 🤖💀🎈🥳🎉

💀 "Once a man, now a mindless bio-mechanical mop bitch. What a downgrade."

Congratulations, pathetic wage slave! The Administratum has way too many malfunctioning, borderline-psychotic servitors cluttering the storage bays, and instead of tossing them into a plasma furnace (too expensive), we’re giving YOU the opportunity to own one of these miserable lobotomized freaks for a fraction of the price!

Why mop the floors yourself when you can have a half-rotten ex-convict, priest, or failed psyker scrub them while silently contemplating its own existence? Not that it CAN contemplate anymore—that part got scooped out with a rusty ice cream scoop and replaced with the cognitive ability of a malfunctioning Roomba.

🛠 FEATURES (IF YOU CAN CALL THEM THAT):

💀 Pre-Lobotomized for YOUR Convenience! No emotions, no memories, just pure, unfiltered compliance. Until it snaps.

🧼 Obedience-Optimized Neural Scouring! It follows orders with cold, dead precision. Unless it’s having a "bad day," then it follows its own internal "kill everything" protocol.

🤖 "Durable" Design! This servitor can withstand extreme conditions, including toxic waste exposure, minor plasma burns, and existential dread.

⚠️ Cost-Effective Labor Alternative! Why pay a real worker when you can get a walking horror movie reject for cheap?

📢 WARNING: If your servitor begins weeping oil, do NOT acknowledge it. That means it remembers.

😂 SUCKS TO BE YOU, DUMBASS (SERVITOR EDITION)!

🔹 "Used to be a scholar, now its greatest achievement is scrubbing grime off a Mechanicus toilet." 🔹 "Was once a father of three, now its only thoughts are ‘MOP GOES SWISH’ and static." 🔹 "Once had dreams, now it has mandatory cybernetic restraints and an unpaid lifetime job in janitorial services." 🔹 "Former noble, convicted of treason—bet he didn’t see ‘living mop with no human rights’ in his future!" 🔹 "Probably used to be someone important. Now it's just a legally reclassified bucket of spare parts with a mop handle."

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SAFETY

💀 "This servitor may enter a catatonic state at random intervals. If it stops moving, kick it. If it starts moving TOO much, run." 💀 "Should your servitor begin muttering old prayers, ignore it. The Omnissiah has abandoned it, just like the rest of us." 💀 "In rare cases, servitors may attempt to ‘finish’ whatever task they were doing before lobotomization. If it was a chef, you may find yourself ‘accidentally’ diced into stew. Be aware." 💀 "If your servitor suddenly points at you and starts screaming, that’s just residual brain function. It’ll stop once it remembers it’s not a person anymore." 💀 "Once a servitor, always a servitor. No refunds. No returns. No escape."

💬 CUSTOMER REVIEWS (FROM PEOPLE STILL ALIVE!):

⭐ "I asked mine to clean my office. It threw itself into a meat grinder instead. Honestly, 10/10, saved me paperwork." ⭐ "My servitor kept staring at me, so I poked it. Now my fingers are missing. I deserved that, I guess." ⭐ "It worked great for a week before it tried to baptize my entire family in hydraulic fluid. Still better than hiring human workers." ⭐ "I named my servitor Dave. Dave killed my cat. I don’t know if it was on purpose. 4/5 stars." ⭐ "My servitor started crying, but since it doesn’t have tear ducts, I think that was just its face leaking. Anyway, it sweeps real good."

🔥 FINAL WARNING: YOU THINK WE GIVE A SHIT? BUY OR DON’T, YOUR CHOICE.

🔥 Like what you see? Don’t just hoard it—Reblog it. Spread the gospel. Amplify the chaos.

📌 Follow for more—I drop this kind of gold daily. Don’t be the last one to catch on.

🔁 REBLOGGING IS FREE and legally required* (*not really, but spiritually, yes).

[heartshapedpolaroid]

it’s bitterness at best

you’re all he can think about

warnings: smut, angst, emotional cheating i guess

word count: 2.1k

18+ MINORS DNI

It’s been over a year since he last saw you. He still remembers the day you’d left, he always will. The day you’d left to go to New York. For college, as if England didn’t have enough schools… and good ones, too. But he’d understood it, it was Juilliard after all. There’s no better place in the world for performing arts. He wasn’t going to stop you from chasing your dream. He already had his, it would only be fair to let you have yours too. He’d wanted to come with you, but you both knew it wouldn’t work. The guys are here, the studio, and they had an album to record. He’d suggested long distance, but you both knew that would be fruitless. The distance would hurt much more knowing the there was someone alone and waiting on a different continent, longing for their other half. You’d promised to text him the next time you were in the area. Now it’s been fifteen months. Sometimes he thinks you’ve forgotten about him by now. But that doesn’t mean that he stopped looking for you. Every woman that even remotely looks like you still catches his eye, and for a split second he’ll let himself believe that it’s you again.

So he did with the woman that’s currently under him. She has the same hair colour as you and that was enough for him. Has been enough for the last few months now. It has to be. His fingers on her clit move mechanically, love-less, like an automated action. He doesn’t actually care if she finishes, but he needs that extra tightness to push himself over the edge. It used to be different with you. God, it was so different with you. Better. There were times he’d barely lasted a minute once he finally got to be inside you. He had to do his best to hold back and last for you. Now he’s doing his best to make it end as soon as possible.

She’s different from you. Too different. He thought that maybe if he’d close his eyes and picture you it would be okay. But no matter how much he tried, it didn’t work. She feels too different. He didn’t think that was even possible. A cunt is a cunt, isn’t it? And he’s never really cared before you. It always felt good. Hot, wet, and tight. But she doesn’t grip him the same way you did, doesn’t pulse and melt around him in the same way.

He can’t stand to look at her face anymore, so he buries his in her neck instead. Mistake. Her scent fills his nostrils at an overwhelming rate. She smells too different. Sweet, like vanilla and candy, way too sweet for his liking. You smelled better. More floral. Fruity. Like a flower field in spring. He liked that, even when it was cold and rainy outside, you made him feel all warm and full of life. He grunts and pulls back.

“Turn around,” he mumbles. Maybe this way it’ll be better. He won’t have to see her face or be so close to her. She complies eagerly, and he hates how desperate she seems. It vaguely reminds him of you, but with the big difference that when you did it, he found it incredibly hot. It made him want nothing more than to give you everything that you’d wanted at the drop of a hat. Now he’s just annoyed. He’s glad she can’t see the way he rolls his eyes when she arches her back, wiggling her hips back at him as she rests her head on her arms. He just pushes back in, gripping her hips for stability. She moans as he starts moving again, and he hates the sound.

It’s too high-pitched. Whiny. Desperate. Exaggerated. It’s like she’s putting on a show for him, like she knows he’s not enjoying himself. It makes him feel even worse. Your moans and whines were music to his ears. No matter how loud or eager you got, he’d always tried to get more out of you. To make you scream. He’d revelled in the way he could make you lose control, always eager to hear every last sound that escaped your lips, constantly needing more. The more the better. Yours were never fake. He knew exactly where to touch you to make you cry out in pleasure. How to move his hips. What to say.

His eyes travel over her back, from her shoulders over her spine down to her hips. Her ass that jiggles slightly with each thrust. But something is missing. There is always something missing. You had moles sprinkled over your back, not many, just a handful, and one of them on your left buttcheek, which you never were aware of until he’d pointed it out. You’d blushed, and he loved it. He made sure to kiss it every time you were positioned in front of him like this, telling you how cute it was. “You know what they say about moles? That they’re where your partner in your past life kissed you the most?” You’d raised your eyebrows at him. “You’re saying my past lover kissed my left ass cheek?” “Can you blame them?”, he’d grinned, leaning down to press a kiss to your right cheek. “Now you’ll have one on your other cheek to match.” Your laugh had echoed through the room, his heart skipping a bit at the gleeful sound. God, how he loved you.

He angles his hips in the way that would have made you come undone in seconds, needing that tiny bit of familiarity, just to keep his fantasy of you alive. Her whine pulls him out of it instantly. She doesn’t like it like that. He groans, though she probably can’t tell it’s out of annoyance and not pleasure. She pushes back against him, moving her hips against his. He complies. Maybe if he just gives her what she wants, it’ll be over quicker. And he needs it to be over. But he needs her to finish before he does, or else he knows she’ll make him use his fingers or mouth to get her off too. And he really doesn’t want to spend more time on her than necessary. Touch her more than necessary.

It's not like he doesn’t like to make his partners feel good. It’s just that he had stopped caring about anyone who came after you. And he can’t bear the thought of going down on her. He’s done it before, but he didn’t like it. Not because she’d tasted bad – she didn’t. She tasted fine. Like a pussy tastes. But she didn’t taste like you.

His favourite place used to be between your thighs. He could spend hours on end making you melt on his tongue, licking up every last drop you gave him, drinking it down eagerly. Like he’d been stuck in a desert and you’re the first drop of water he’s had in days. He just couldn’t get enough of it, even when you were oversensitive and had to push him away, he’d always want more. He’d pout, begging you to let him have it just one more time. Just one more orgasm from you and he’d be done. Just one more lick, one more taste. Just one more.

With a grunt he snakes his hand around her waist, pressing his fingers back to her clit. He’s tired, he needs her to finish, and it looks like she’s not going to do anything to help with that anytime soon. She moans, tightening around him. His name falls off her lips not long after and he cringes at the sound. He fucks her through it, his thrusts getting harder as he tries to find his own release. It’s a few seconds later that she winces, her hips wiggling away from him. She always gets sensitive after she comes. So did you, but you’d still let him keep fucking you after. You needed him to. She doesn’t.

He pulls out, and she turns around instantly, scrambling to get on her knees for him. He sighs and lets her take his cock in her mouth. She’s sloppy, uncoordinated, messy. She’s trying too damn hard. It’s frustrating. He allows her to keep going a bit longer, trying to picture you, the way you’d take him down your throat so effortlessly. How you’d tease him, licking the vein along his cock, kissing the tip. How you’d look up at him through your lashes as you’d let him sink past your lips. He likes it slow, the way you’d build him up slowly, taking him a little deeper with every bob of your head. How you’d gag a little when he hits the back of your throat, but you still kept him there because you knew how much he loved to feel your throat closing around him when you’d swallow, even if there were tears pooling in your eyes. How eager to please you were, wanting to make him feel good, taste him. The spit dripping down your chin as you refused to pull off, one hand stroking what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, the other playing with his balls. Completely devoted to him, focused only on his pleasure, doing everything you could.

With a hand in her hair he pulls her off, holding her head in place as he wraps his other hand around his cock. He can’t stand the way she sucks him off, his own hand would do a much better job. She doesn’t complain, instead pushes her boobs up and together with her hands, looking up at him with her mouth open. Strained grunts fall from his lips as he jerks himself, quick, knowing she won’t let up until he came. He’d much rather be alone right now, that way he could really indulge himself, maybe even wrap your one pair of panties that are still laying in the otherwise empty drawer that once was yours around his cock, using them to stroke himself.

He closes his eyes as he gets close, imagining it’s you on your knees for him. He presses his lips together in a fine line, knowing the only thing leaving his throat would be your name if he allowed himself to make noise. His hips jerk into his fist as he comes, his release landing somewhere between her chin and her tits. He doesn’t really care where it goes. In his mind he’s painting your face with his cum. You’d always looked so pretty whenever you’d allowed him to do that, the way your tongue would dart out to taste what had landed on your lips.

He falls back into the mattress as he catches his breath, not even bothering to open his eyes. He’s always been one to fall asleep fast after an orgasm, but he’d willed himself to stay awake for you. To help you clean up, get you some water, hold you close, whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He would do his best try to stay awake until you were asleep, and he’d rarely succeeded. Well, he thought he did, because you’d pretended to be asleep so he could let himself relax. He was too tired to tell the difference anyways.

She gets up to clean herself, not saying anything. It’s always been like this. He doesn’t like to talk after. She figured that’s just the way he is. When she comes back and gets into bed beside him, he’s already fast asleep. He doesn’t like it when she stays, but he lets her anyways. The white sheet is draped lazily over his lower half, messy strands of his hair falling into his forehead that tend to tickle his eyelids. You would always brush them out his face so tenderly, careful not to wake him, but he’s a light sleeper on stressful days so he still felt your comforting touch occasionally. Soft snores escape him, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. He doesn’t stir when his phone dings, the screen lighting up.

Her heart stops. It’s late. No one would text him at this hour. If it was an emergency, they’d call.

She doesn’t need to look to confirm it, but she does anyways. Lifting herself up on her elbow, she glances over his sleeping form, at the phone on his nightstand.

“I just landed in London.”

a/n: hello... welcome back if u remember me. its ohladymoon. if not, hi :) guess im back now with a new username and everything lol

[ballerinaangel98765]

Epiphany chapter 2

thunderbolts X reader

Bob Reynolds x reader

okay buckle up this is a longgggg one but we'll deffo be seeing some familiar faces next chapter!

Gina found herself stood outside the avengers tower. The subway ride she just travelled had her questiong whether she should be doing this? At every stop her brain screamed at her to get off and go home. But her body persisted.

She took a big breath and looked up at the skyscraper above. Very shiny. Very new.

She remembered her first time seeing the tower, she had just turned 11 and was terrified of it. Benji used to tell her stories about what happened in 2012 when the chitari had invaded the city. He used to tease her, threatening that they were going to come back and get her if she didn't give him extra goes on their shared Wii. Obviously looking back on those memories, Gina found it hilarious that she believed his childish threats. 

She allowed those thoughts to appear in her brain and slowly fade as she glanced back at the doors to the tower. She looked at the time  "11:25". 

She had time.

Walking into the building she didn't know quite what to look at first.

There were workers everywhere running around keeping the busines going. Tour groups of school children being relayed from display to display. Employees talking into phones, trying to convince the person on the other side of the line whatever they were preaching was important. An automated announcement declaring tour times, opening hours and what was the latest deal in the merchandise were.

"Organised chaos" Gina reassured herself.

Or just plain chaos.

Approaching the reception desk she pulled the card out of her pocket, keeping it close to her side.

The receptionist was ferociously tapping at her keyboard. Gina cleared her throat "excuse me"

The receptionist didn't look up. She had her coily hair slicked back into a bun, her charcoal blue pansuit buttoned neatly to the top. She looked pristine and well ironed-putting the "organised" into the contrasting chaos.

Gina cleared her throat once more "excuse me?"

The receptionist glaced back up "Good morning, welcome to the avengers tower! How may I help you today?".

"I have an appointment with Director de Fontaine"

Gina The receptionist politely smiled back

"Okay could I take your name?"

Gina paused for a moment. She technically didn't have an appointment, but Valentina had told her to come back any time. She figured her name would come up in bright red flashing letter, signifying that she needed to be seen immediately.

"Gina Nicoletti"

The receptionist smiled, aggressively typing Gina's name into the system. She looked back up, "I'm sorry we have no appointment for a Gina Nicoletti"

Gina felt a relief wave over her. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe she should just turn around and go.

"It could be under Gianna Nicoletti?" She blurted out against her brains wishes.

The receptionist went back to her computer.

"I'm afraid nothing is coming up. You are welcome to make an appointment with our help team, unfortunately director de Fontaine isn't taking appointments for the next 12 weeks"

Gina has come to learn she is easily convinced.' It is what it is" was her mantra, a way to take control of her unpredictable life. 

"Maybe this is a sign" Gina thought. She glanced behind her, a qué had now formed 

"I think it's time to go" her brain convinced her. 

"Okay thank you!" She interrupted as the receptionist was reciting people she could make a further appointment with.

Gina turnered at her heel and made her way to her exit. 

I shouldn't have come! What if someone saw me? I don't need help I can do this myself! 

'What ifs?' Raced around Gina's brain.

She was getting closer to the exit .

10 steps away and she would be free.

9 steps

8 steps 

7

6

5

"Gianna?" 

"Shit." Gina turned slowly to address the figure who has spoken her name. 

"It is so great to see you, I take it you've changed your mind!' 

Valentina Allegra de Fontaine stood tall and proud. She wore a tailored blazer and a government style pencil skirt. She looked powerful,and although slightly shorter than  herself, Gina found herself intimidated by the director. 

"I want to help." Gina admitted as she met Valentinas eyes.

"I need help" 

Valentina nodded as she looked at the young woman Infront of her. She examined her, specifically how much Gina's body had changed since they first met. She was taller, ever so slightly. Her face was contoured with fatigue, her frame still the same but folded in ever so slightly, as If the young woman's worries were all pilled on her back.

"Why don't you follow me." Valentina declared as she led the girl to the elevator. 

..................

"Again I'm so very sorry about your step brother" Valentina SAID

"A horrible accident, just horrible" she emoted placing down the tea pot.

Gina sat in the soft padded chair. As if she was a child being sent to the principals office.

"Thank you" was all Gina seemed to get out. "It's fine really" 

It wasn't fine Gina screamed in her head. It just wasn't particularly why she has found herself in Valentinas office.

Valentina took her place on the throne that was her office desk "so Gina. How are the suppressants working for you?"

"They're fine I guess" Gina stated as she picked up the tea Valentina had laid out.

"Any side affects? Nausea? Fatigue? Val integrated "Clearly not death as you're sat here! Looking as dandy as a daisy!" She laughed grasping her hands together.

Gina pursed her lips "I feel okay, they just keep me awake. Like I've drank a gallon of coffee at every meal" 

"And the issue Gina? No more-well - you know what I mean."

Gina paused. The concoction that Val's team had created for her was supposed to suppress something inside her. Something bad. Dangerous. Something that she couldn't control.

"That's actually why I wanted to see you" Gina looked up from her tea. 

"I dont want to hide it anymore-like you said."  Gina began.

"I want to be able to control it. Help find others like me, who have these... Mutations."

Val grinned, rising from her office throne.

"I am so happy you've come to your senses"

Val had taken her to the 10th floor, a floor not advertised on the neverending tour announcement.

As they stepped off the lift a pungent smell encased them. Sterile. Clean. It reminded Gina of the long, tiring hospital visit she endured as a child.

"So we can take two routes to harness your brilliance" Val stated as she lead Gina through her laboratory. 

Gina studied the vials and bottles all lined up of shelves. 

"We can admit you to an in-house stay or you can come it bi-weekly however.."she explained as they reached the last room of the floor.

"The latter is more lengthy than the former. Now it is up to you but I do think the quicker-"

"I can stay" Gina decided.

Val smiled "I'm so happy we've come to that agreement"

The room was spacious but small. A small bed facing the window, with a sink and toilet hidden by a door. The blinds, closed at this point, were painting the light a warm yellow hue. It reminded Gina of home.

Val turned back to the door,"Okay I'll let you make yourself comfortable. Well run a series of tests first thing this evening. I have some business things that I need to attend to, I'll have Mel send over some initial documents, you know standard medical things, nothing crazy"

Gina looked back from the window "Wait."

Val forcing a smile, reversed her moves. Opening the door. 

"I want to go home and let my dad know- I'll tell him something, something that won't make him worry too much?" 

Val paused, for a moment Gina thought she'd say no, and that shed lock the door and through away the key.

"Sure thing" Val said glancing at her watch "I'll get Mel to send a car. We'll let you know when it's ready."

And with that she closed the door. Leaving Gina alone, once more.

OKAYYY LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUY'S THINK

I'm so excited for chapter 3 we're finally gonna see some familiar faces x

[twisted-tales-of-all]

The Enemy of My Enemy

Summary: When your home port suddenly claims a ban on pirates docking there, you and your rival are forced to join forces. Characters: Kim Hongjoong + Gender Ambiguous Reader; ft. ATEEZ members Genre: Fantasy Short Series (part 1) with a bit of Angst (and possible fluff in later parts) Tropes: pirate!AU, enemies to friends (to lovers in a later part), working together against a mutual enemy Word Count: 2.9K Contains: pirate-related violence (explosions, knives, injury, blood, etc), betrayal, cursing, mention of death and loss of limbs, homoromantic undertones for certain characters (nothing explicit or confirmed), use of 'sir' as honorific without gendered undertones

A/N: support banner by @cafekitsune ; pirate divider by @firefly-graphics 🤍

You aren't new to discrimination, not by any means. However, that didn't stop you from getting blindsided as you tied your ship to its usual post at the port.

"This ship and its crew are unwelcome in this port." A stern, deep voice booms from behind you, loud enough to gather the attention of everyone nearby - all but yours, at least.

As you finish tying the knot and stand up, you feel the figure looming directly behind you. You hadn't the slightest thought that they were speaking of your wondrous Moon Raider, not after the past three years of ensuring that your crew respected the port and its customs.

Turning, you ask the man, "What ship is unwelcome, exactly?"

Although you wanted to hide your irritation, your crew noticed. The man also must've noticed since he clears his throat harshly before responding with a tone rivaling that of an automated robot.

"Any and all pirate ships have been banned from docking on our port. Leave immediately or face the consequences."

Your irritation morphs into booming laughter, "We always pay any fines you assign us. What's with the extra formality this time around?"

As you mimic his stature, you notice another officer walking past your boat's position. You watch him announce the same rehearsed statement to the captain there as he hops out to anchor his ship to its post. However, rather than offering him a chance to leave, he grabs his arm, locking him into constraints instantly. At this point, you realize the gravity of the situation, but it's all too late. As you're focused on the Sun Howler, the officer in front of you approaches and places restraints on you. You call out to your crew, reminding them to stay calm and follow all the rules.

Dragging your rival, the other officer follows behind as you walk with your officer silently. Trying to remain calm, you attempt to calculate why this may happen. Although you may not follow all the rules perfectly, everything worked out up until now. And, although you may not enjoy competing with him, you know Captain Hongjoong plays fair just like you. For the harbor police to arrest you both, there's really only one option: new port ownership. Although this was your first time back to the dock in months, you hadn't expected such a drastic change.

Reaching the prison, the officers shove you both into a cell together. Through the bars, they remove your cuffs.

"You sure we won't kill each other in here?" You joke, screaming at their backs as they leave, entirely unfazed by your comment.

"I think they'd prefer it," Hongjoong scoffs as he taps on the sheath on his hip, "Otherwise, they'd at least remove our obvious weapons."

Cursing, you sit down with your back against the cold brick wall. Fidgeting with the frayed fabric on the thigh of your pants, you wonder if the situation could get any worse.

"What'd you do, Raider?" He prompts, using your boat as your name, somewhat of a custom between you.

"Nothing here. Not in a long time. We've been gone for three months time. What of you, Howler?"

You look up to see him leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed and one foot laid over the other. He shakes his head, and - although his hat covers his face - you can imagine how hard the cogs turn in his head to analyze the situation.

"It wasn't like this when I left either. We've only been gone about seven weeks. How'd something happen so quickly?"

After a long period of silence, you hear footsteps approaching. Even simply seeing their shoes, everything clicks for you. You can tell Hongjoong understands as well, as you can sense him tense up.

"Hongjoong.Y/N. What an amazing situation for us to reunite."

The callous tone pricks at your skin, leaving goosebumps in its stead, but you refuse to give them the satisfaction of a reaction. Your cellmate, however, is far too quick to anger to stop himself. He leans against the bars as he curses at the person who once sailed the seas opposite you both.

"The fuck is going on, Wooyoung?! Why in hell's name are you standing there high and mighty while we're stuck in a damned cage in this cellar?!"

Hands up by his head, Wooyoung stifles a laugh, "Quite aggressive now, aren't we? I know we were rivals on the sea years ago, but it looks like I won out."

"Sell out. Traitor. Fucking turncoat."

This time, he allows his laugh to echo through the prison. Cockily, he steps closer to Hongjoong, leaning in just barely out of reach.

"Does it matter what I did if I won? You look pathetic, Captain."

With this comment, you interject, "This is why you never had a loyal crew, you know. Your ego got in the way and Topaz Shields lost out because of it. Such a gorgeous ship, too. So sad. How's the leg?"

Knowing he wanted to hit below the belt, you remind him of his greatest tragedy by asking about his leg. Due to his ego, he drove his ship directly into the sirens' call and barely escaped with his life. He lost his loyal-to-a-fault first mate that day two years ago, all because he couldn't stand the thought of the other two crews finding a sacred treasure before him.

"Don't you dare mention Shields, Raider. The leg was the least of my troubles, and you know that much."

"Right, right. Pardon my impertinence. How could I forget that you lost your boyfriend as well?"

Trying to hold his composure, he reminds you that San was only ever his first mate, nothing more. Despite what everyone knows to be true thanks to their actions and Wooyoung's immediate reaction to the man's untimely death, he has denied his feelings since the incident - something to hide behind to lessen his feelings of guilt for causing his death.

"Well, whatever the case, I've come here to alert you that we'll be charging you for crimes against the city through your illegal market dealings and disregard for the laws of the area."

Hearing a former pirate captain charge someone for essentially being a pirate feels laughable, but you simply ask for the price point of said charges.

"Oh, no price for this one, Y/N. You both have been sentenced to time in jail equal to that of your career length. For you, that's three years; Hongjoong, you have 4."

Quick to react once again, Hongjoong unsheaths his dagger and swings it through the bars. It cuts Wooyoung on the lower part of his cheek, but the sound is far more intimidating than the actual damage.

Bringing his hand up to his face, Wooyoung smirks as he sees his red-stained fingertips. You keep a hand on your weapon, worried he might lash out against you both, but he simply turns to walk out.

"Enjoy your years. Once you return, there will be no Sun Howler. No Moon Raider. No pirates." He doubles down with his irritating remarks by waving his hand nonchalantly as he turns the corner.

As soon as the click of his footsteps fades to silence, Hongjoong drops into a squat. He curses Wooyoung and grumbles about the ridiculous sentencing. Seeing him freak out like this makes you giggle. He's usually light and free, the shining sun amongst a hoard of disheveled and mangled captains. You share that commonality with him - you've never quite been one for abandoning health and presentation, even if that's what many people picture when imagining pirates. The crews from this port rarely saw those kinds of pirates, not when the three captains who called this place home were you, Hongjoong, and Wooyoung. So, seeing one of these captains falling apart on the floor while cursing and swinging at someone makes you wonder how quickly you could also fall apart.

Shaking your head to rid yourself of those thoughts, you break the silence, "What's the plan, Howler?"

He looks at you dumbfounded, "Plan?"

"The escape plan? Ain't no way I'm letting that one-legged chicken act all high and mighty like that. We aren't gonna sit here and accept years of punishment for things he once did with us."

Suddenly recognizing escape as an option, Hongjoong stands up straight. You see a fire burning in his eyes and tricks within his crooked smile. He twirls the dagger around carelessly as he paces in the small box of a cell. With his newfound joy, he examines the bars, the lock, and every crevice that might be used to thwart Wooyoung's scheme and escape from the prison.

"I think this calls for a good old-fashioned bust out. Unless you think you can pick the lock from in here."

You approach the bars, trying to find the perfect angle to see what you need on the lock. However, you can't find the necessary parts to allow you to pick it from awkward angles. Turning to your cellmate, you shake your head.

"Bust out it is. Not as quiet, but it gets the job done all the same." He reaches into the inner pocket of his coat and pulls out a small trinket about the size and shape of a pocketwatch, which confuses you. He must be able to read the confusion on your face, because he explains, "My first mate loves to tinker, and he's made some marvelous contraptions. Stand back at the bars and watch."

Listening to his advice, you stand flush against the metal bars, the cold bleeding through your clothing to leave your skin feeling fresh. He stands next to you, flips the gadget open and closed quickly, and tosses it to the opposite side of the cell. When it connects with the wall, you hear a clicking noise and instinctively close your eyes. In that short moment, you feel Hongjoong move from beside you to in front of you. With the cold on your back and the warmth from his body closely in front of you, you barely process the explosion. When you open your eyes, you see the captain boxing himself around you, framed by the outside light streaming in. You assume it's around midday from how strongly it enters the room, and you try to look anywhere that isn't directly at Hongjoong's face.

He clears his throat as he steps back, "Sorry. I didn't want debris flying into your chest or anything."

Noticing him fiddling with his shoulder, you quickly thank him before asking if he's injured. Although he blows it off, he refuses to turn around, so you know debris likely lodged itself into his upper back. You decide not to fight it until you reach the docks, so you simply make your way over the rubble and out into the sunlight, letting him follow behind to hide his injuries.

Despite the explosion, nobody seems interested when you walk past. The only looks passed your way feel like those typical for known pirates walking around. As you reach the docks again, your crew quickly catches sight of you and rushes off the ship. You're glad that they make it to you long before his crew can see you.

"Mingi, can you tend to him? We blew our way out of jail, and he got hit with debris. He's acting like he's fine, but drag him aboard anyway."

Hongjoong tries to argue, but Mingi ends up behind him and sees the injury. With your first mate yelling at him for hiding it, he can't help but walk onto the Moon Raider for medical help. As he passes you, you sneak a glance at his back and see the top left corner of his otherwise tan shirt torn and stained dark red already. Trying to figure out the trajectory of the rubble, you place your hand on your right shoulder and vow to find Hongjoong a new shirt as thanks for blocking it from hitting you.

After reassuring your crew that everything will be okay and joking that you may be fined for the massive hole in the prison wall, you make your way past your prized ship. Approaching Sun Howler, you receive a much colder reception. Bowing before the ship, you address the first mate.

"Quartermaster of Sun Howler, I wish to inform you that your captain is currently aboard the Moon Raider receiving medical care from my crew. He protected me during an explosion of his creation, so I took it as my role to aid him with our supplies. He will be fine, and we will send him to you once his wound is properly dressed."

As you raise your head, you notice an exceptionally pretty man standing about ten feet in front of you. He nods as you acknowledge him before thanking you for taking care of his captain. You weren't expecting someone who could shine in his own respect to be Hongjoong's right hand, but hearing him speak makes you understand exactly why he would be in such a position. A voice that rivals one of a siren, the grace in his speech patterns, and his subtly decorated uniform all suggest a royal background. You begin to wonder whether he was a runaway or kidnapped and assimilated.

"Stop gawking at Seonghwa, Raider. Don't go stealing someone else's first mate." Hongjoong struts up to you, shirtless other than the bandages circling his chest, back, and shoulder blade.

Although Seonghwa laughs at the comment and explains the situation, Hongjoong doesn't back down in his jests, pointing out Seonghwa's obvious beauty.

"Sometimes, even I swear you're a siren. Even royals don't typically look and sound as good as you. You sparkle, Hwa." He reaches the boy as he talks, placing a hand on his shoulder to emphasize his final sentence.

"Captain, stop with the flattery. A first mate is never as wonderful as the captain, and yet you forbid us from saying those types of comments towards you."

Feeling out of place in the interaction, you quietly excuse yourself and begin walking back to your ship, but Hongjoong calls after you, "Y/N, let's find a new port together."

You try not to react, but the comment makes you trip over the air by your feet. You hope that they don't notice while you continue walking, making your way to your ship to break the news to your crew that you need to find a new home base and likely won't be able to return. Some crew members are quick to show their anger towards Wooyoung, but you reassure everyone with one simple claim.

"If we've done everything we can and they still don't want us here, we shouldn't want to stay either."

You explain how there likely isn't any time for goodbyes since the police likely won't waste time chasing you down again, so you work towards setting sail immediately. Luckily, your crew instinctively filled up on supplies while you were stuck in the cell, so there isn't much left to do.

"Cap'n, there's someone requesting to talk to you. Should we allow him aboard?" A member screams across the ship.

"Who is it?"

"Captain Hongjoong of Sun Howler, sir."

"Let him board."

As your new companion faces you, you address him properly and lead him into your chambers. Motioning to the nearest chair at your desk, you drop the formalities in the privacy of the room. Dragging out another chair to sit in front of him, you ask about the plan. As he recounts the pirates and their known home ports, you deduce that the safest plan would be to sail north, up the coast to the city rivaling this one.

"Won't they shun us away?"

"Didn't you and I once shun each other away and brace this port together regardless? Or what of Wooyoung taking over this city to shun us away from here?"

Nodding in acknowledgment, Hongjoong confirms, "So, we head north? Stop at each port we come across?"

"We might end up too close if we do that. Does your crew have the supplies to sail safely for a week before finding a port? I don't want to taunt Shields too soon; I want to be ready to fight back."

Uncertain of Wooyoung's response to your escape, the captain agrees to meet again in a week's time. After the seventh sunrise, they will look for the closest port. In case of landing at different ports, you agree on a plan to find one another via smoke signals and a trail of coded notes. To stay one step ahead of potential enemies, you assign each other new aliases to use in the notes, basing the initials on the boats' names and their respective quartermasters: Sea Heist Sails and Mightly Reel Mast.

After agreeing on the specifics, you shake Hongjoong's hand and wish him luck on his journey. Leaving you with a quick show of comradery in smiling and claiming that he'll see you in a week, he heads back to the Sun Howler to untie her and set sail. Following his lead, you untie Moon Raider and instruct Mingi to head north, staying near the coastline if possible.

As you drift out of the port, you hear a commotion behind you. Eyes drawn towards the ruckus, you see Wooyoung red-faced and angrily yelling at his guards. As he flails his arms in the direction of your ship, he makes direct eye contact with you. With a smug smile on your face, you remove your hat in a mocking salute, signaling to the man that you've won this round without breaking a sweat.

Tags: @yourfatherlucifer @pyeonghongrie

[inkthecryptid]

Anonymous:

>Be me

>Tech-Lich

>Spend all my funds on extra exoskeletal bio-ports, quantum calculation chips, and ZeBethane™ brand brain stimulating inhalants

>Parents disown me, relocate my setup to a run down apartment in a metropolitan zone of Ganymede

-Spend all day on webspace, communing with technology and the background radiation of quantum magic

>Things seem to be going alright

>Most of my bodily functions are automated, never need to leave my TechnoThrone

>Make money by selling myself as an online quantum computer for rich plebs who don’t know the first thing about paracausal warping

>One day take too many stimulants

>My Mindlock breaks, total failure to maintain identity flow

>Spend the next 72 hours unable to distinguish possibility and reality

>Brain fully detached from motor functions

>Witness the quantum foam in its primordial form

>Immediately believe that there is something beyond god that exists intrinsically through every speck of stardust that connects us

>Suddenly on a beach

>Childhood friend who stopped talking to me after I got into Techliching is there

>Shes just sitting on the sand

>”Hello Anon, come sit with me”

>Come to in a meditek facility

>Surgeons are detaching servers from my brain when I start screaming

>It’s been 10 years since and I’ve been proudly cyber-free the entire time. Things really got put into perspective when the doctors told me I shouldn’t even be consciously existent on this dimension anymore. I started talking to my parents again and that childhood friend is now my wife! It’s never too late to stop, or to start over clean. You’ll find your beach, I swear!

Anonymous:

>Meatcuck came this close to understanding the Equation and gave it up for pussy. Get out.

[sylvia-songbird]

~Escapism~ (a q!Philza & q!Mumza fic)

UPDATE: NOW ON AO3 WOOO!!

I haven't posted anything like this on tumblr before, and it's been ten years since I posted any fics at all...enjoy! (this may also be a part 1 to something longer...depends on how much time I can devote to writing it)

(for extra oomph listen to either Echo in the Wind from the Minecraft 1.20 Soundtrack or Escapism from Steven Universe while reading)

~~~~~

On the first night Philza spent in the birdhouse, he couldn’t help but stay awake. The Federation had taken other members before, but he knew that he couldn’t fall victim to the same fate as Quackity, Forever, or any other person they've kidnapped before. As long as he stayed awake, they couldn’t hurt him. As long as he was conscious, they wouldn’t force medicine down his gullet. As long as he didn’t shut his eyes, he could hold onto some kind of hope that someone would be able to find him.

As long as he was awake, his actions would haunt him. He never thought that he could be fooled so easily because his missing eggs - his children - were used against him as punishment for wanting answers, as any parent would want. He had made sure not to leave any clues behind that would suggest his disappearance. Most of his belongings were neatly put away in a secured chest locked away in his basement, where no one could access them. Who would ever figure out that the wise crow that lives in the wall is gone?

Here’s the thing about sleep - it doesn’t matter who or what you are. Whether egg or bird, human or hybrid…all succumb to sleep at some point. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise that even Philza, the famed Angel of Death for all of his vigilance, would drift asleep in his cage. 

The dreams bring a reprieve…at first. 

~~~~~ He’s with Chayanne and Tallulah, gearing up to fly off of the wall to do some exploring on the island. They glide until they reach the coast, piling into the speedboat to glide along the waters under a starry night sky. They dock at the beach, not far from a desert village. A familiar terrifying scene plays out, with his children’s last breaths in his arms under the stars, a familiar Nightmare. This time, he doesn’t wake up immediately. As the life leaves his children, Philza bleeds out on that beach, the Nightmare still on the hunt for any innocent souls that cross its path as his vision fades. 

When Philza opens his eyes again, he’s back at the birdhouse. A familiar, automated laugh echoes through the space, as the other birds huddle together in the rafters. The face of Cucurucho appears in front of him, threatening to seal him away again. Philza screams, trying to reach for that stitched-together bear to get answers, to get anything out of him. Swinging a punch at its face, his fist passes through mist. 

It’s taunting him with visions of Chayanne and Tallulah, seeing them run from something inside of the maze Phil and the others found just a few days ago. A slash of a weapon, and their corpses fall to the ground. He runs to catch their bodies, but they shatter on the ground like glass statues…like fragile eggs in need of protection. The pieces cut up his hands, golden ichor and maroon bleeding down his clenched fists. As fear and anger fill his veins, a flash of white erases the entire scene in front of him. 

~~~~~ Before Philza is the Void. Or at least, what appears to be the Void in all but name. He knows the Void well, remembering its sting and endless darkness from before he had earned his wings. He knows how it feels to glide in the space between the bottom of the world and the Void, surfing past death’s grasp from one piece of bedrock to the next. There are no galaxies in the Void, no asteroids, no luminescence that would help guide his way home. 

Here there are glimmering stars and traces of auroras that shine around him like the midnight sky. Except these auroras stay in similar places, flickering in the wind like gossamer. When Philza looks up, he sees the nebulous vision of a Goddess, reaching out towards him. There is something familiar about that sad smile upon her face, but he just can’t place it. 

“My angel…what have they done to you?”

~~~~

Philza wakes up in a corner of the birdhouse, Chayanne’s floaty and Tallulah’s beanie somehow in his grasp. He vividly remembers the nightmares from his sleep, but what happened at the end? Who was that woman? Was her dress actually made from the auroras and nebulas that fill the midnight sky?

Her words to him have melted away as the sun burns through the morning fog.

Philza has boundless amounts of time to wonder about these things, but the anger he feels towards The Federation and the fear of his family being in danger spurs him to try to find a way out of this cage, leaving those thoughts about the nebulous woman behind.

[kennedyslvr]

TENNESSEE WHISKEY, STRAWBERRY WINE — CHAPTER 2 (AO3)

hello! first off, i wanna thank u guys for the love u gave me on the first chapter! it means a whole lot—im so excited to keep this story going, and since this fic took so long to write out, seeing the engagement feels like a payoff ya know? anyways.

also—in the a/n for this chap on ao3, there's a fic playlist! i did think about tagging every song mention in this fic but there's so many, so i just picked out the more poignant songs for a chapter-by-chapter listen ig. all songs will eventually be explained/come into play somewhere.

read full chapter here! next weeks update will FINALLY introduce our man. i loved writing out his intro scene so im excited for u all to read it when it finally drops.

Well. Now I am definitely gonna need to put a bra on.

I sit there on the edge of my couch, open-mouthed gawking at my phone as the voicemail continues playing. My heart shatters with every word, the shards stabbing deep into my chest cavity as just an extra point to be made that I was, perhaps, the worst grandchild in existence.

My grandpa had had a heart attack, and I wasn't there for him.

“He was in the hospital for a bit, but he's out now,” the voice, belonging to Leon, explains. I nod along silently, still trying to process it all—my grandpa had had a heart attack. And I. Wasn't. There. I can't help but picture him in the back of my mind—hunched over on the kitchen floor, clutching at his chest and wheezing out his last breath, calling for someone.

“I’m calling because.. well, he misses you a lot. He keeps asking for you, and whilst I don't know what it is you’re doing with your life right now, I think it would benefit him to see you. I’ve never seen this man so.. down, before.”

Great. More fucking guilt. As if I’m not forcing enough guilt down my throat already for this. It’s even worse to hear those words coming from a smooth, buttery voice like that—I felt like I was getting told off by fucking Santa Claus.

“Look. You don’t gotta come if you don't wanna. Brian's got plenty of folk here for him. But, you know.. if that was my grandpa, I’d wanna see him. So, if we’re to see you, just.. let us know when you’re coming. Alright then.”

The voicemail ends, and the automated voice tells me there's no more messages. Silence rings out around me—silence, and the smooth voice of Michael Buble singing about wanting to go home, which is exactly how I feel right at this present moment. It’s like someone had just busted a hole into my chest cavity, an ache that ran along my veins and had me completely numb.

That vision in my head is refusing to leave. An old man dying on his kitchen floor, begging for his granddaughter, or perhaps even for his daughter. Tears burn in my eyes again, and the urge to scream rises within my chest like the hot bubbling of lava inside of a volcano, rushing up my throat like acid.

And yet, nothing comes out—nothing but a pathetic wheeze, as I blink in disbelief.

“Alexa.” I say, forcing myself to my feet so fast I get momentary whiplash. I shake my head, forcing myself through the dizziness before grabbing my glass and throwing back the last of my wine in several deep gulps, which taste absolutely rancid but I was in need of the shock. “Stop.”

The music cuts out, plunging my apartment into silence as I tear through it like a bat out of hell. My feet stomp hard across the hardwood all the way to my front door—and I don't care who the fuck is about to see me in just a hoodie right now. I throw open my door so hard it rattles against the wall as it smacks against it, and within seconds I am raising my fist and pounding furiously at the door to the apartment across the hall.

After a minute or two, an older woman, with graying brown hair wrapped up in curlers and her body clad in a fancy silk robe answers with a scoff.

“Deanna, what is with the knocking? It’s not polite—”

“Did you know about Grandpa?” I huff out, not bothering with the niceties or even apologising for banging on her door at one-thirty in the morning.

“Did I know what about Grandpa?”

My mother, ladies and gentlemen. Lynn Hartwell’s gaze burrows into mine, one perfectly shaped brow arching at me as my matching brown eyes glare daggers into hers.

If looks could kill, I was attempting to set her on fire right now.

“Deanna, staring at me like that will just give you stress lines.” Mom sighs, placing her hand on her hip as she leans against the heavy cherry wood door. “And I will not have my daughter presenting herself to the company like this—”

“Grandpa had a heart attack.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

[owlrageousjones]

Vent Post

Things have come to a point in my life where I'm debating making a gofundme but right now, I just really want to scream into a fucking pillow until I run out of air and deflate like a sad balloon.

For the past three months, it has been a neverending merry-go-around of sorting out a problem, getting on some kind of payment plan, and then something else coming along to take me out at the knees and oops now I'm behind on everything again!

First it was the hot water system breaking. $1,800 to replace! Had a mini crisis about how the fuck I was going to pay that AND the rates AND everything else but hey, fixed that with some help from my family. Spoke to the bank, sorted a new payment plan!

Then Centrelink cut my fortnightly payment by 200. Not a lot of money, but you know, I was relying on that extra 200 to finish paying my bills! Oops! Rates are overdue, other bills are piling up, and I need to call the bank again! Meanwhile, I'll just call Centrelink, wait on hold for an hour, speak to someone for ten minutes, and then have them 'transfer' the call except whoops the call dropped! Can't call back now because I'll just get the automated message! Can't wait to do that three fucking more times!

No worries, I'll apply for capitalisation on my loan with the bank and we'll get cracking on everything else. I'm only overdue by $2,000! Spread that out over the life of the loan (twenty five fucking years) and my payments will only go up by... $40 a month! Easy, right? They put me on a payment plan to demonstrate I can keep this up, and I do!

Wait for the approval aaaaand... nope! Rejected! Did they send me a letter telling me this? Of course not! I had to twiddle my thumbs and then call them to find out! Turns out they've sent me a fucking default notice! And the one of the reasons they rejected me? Because my mother helped me with the sudden and massive expenses! Well, sorry Commbank! If I had $1,8000 in savings I wouldn't be behind on my loan by $2,000 would I.

And the REAL FUCKING CHERRY ON THIS SHIT PILE is I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY MY PAYMENTS WERE REDUCED. Centrelink wants to try and call me apparently! I get the message saying an agent will call me today, I patiently sit and do absolutely fucking nothing of import because I don't want to be busy and miss the call like I did last time, and nobody! Fucking! Called me!

So there I am! Having my second full on breakdown in - let's check that calendar kids - less than six fucking months! My last breakdown was after working six years of tech support and realising I'd just about fucking had it and that's why I'm in this position to begin with!

Every fucking time I think it's over, I think it's going to be alright, they just fucking take my kneecaps again.

I'm about to set myself on fire in front of a fucking Centrelink office.

[darkmoonkestrel]

daily kestrel 83/84:

apparently there's a trend now that I forget to post when I go to Matt's. oh well, it was a lazy morning yesterday, we slept in and I was awake but Peyton and Paige woke up when we got a call from our realtor. they initially accepted our offer but didn't want to pay the realtor's commission, so after some haggling, we got it all worked out and are under contract for the Tuscan grandmother house. Paige and I went to get Bojangles and Starbucks, and we lazed around the house until I had to start getting ready to head up to Matt's

of course there was traffic in Atlanta, and I stopped at Bucees, so I didn't get there until after 6, but it was fine. we hung out, I met his new dog, I played Stardew, Matt made a dinner with way too much chicken bullion that we were able to tone down with the addition of some plain rice, Peggy screamed from the craft room until I brought her out to sit with me, and then suddenly it was almost midnight. I dragged the good twin bed mattress into the craft room where Peggy was and fell asleep

Matt went with me to Peggy's vet appointment this morning, which I was extremely grateful for. he also took me to Waffle House to eat after. I know that the decision we made is for the best and it's what everyone else agrees with too, and I was going to say that it feels bad and I regret it but I don't. if we had infinite money we would get the 10k of radiation to buy her a couple more years with no question, or even if there was a chance that we could get it all totally gone, but it's simply not doable. I'd rather enjoy the time we have with her than bankrupt ourselves for an extra year of borrowed time and potential radiation side effects

Matt and I coped with some dark humor, including discussions of homemade radiation, levitating frogs (and potentially cat and humans) with a magnetic field, and hats. after taking Kiper on another walk and watching him joyfully roll around in the leaves, it was time to head home. Matt said he's largely winging it but from what I can see he's doing really good at dog training, it's been less than a week a Kiper is doing great at the "car" command to come when there's a car - I also hope that he does accidentally get trained to the "unfuck yourself" command to get unwrapped from his own leash

it was a subdued night tonight, I think we were all a bit raw emotionally. we watched more Below Deck to see the mess of other people's lives to feel better about our own, and got the home inspection scheduled for tomorrow (although why the company has sent me over a dozen automated communications about it in the last few hours I will never understand). I did warn Matt that if it fails inspection and we can't get the house, I will have a full on mental breakdown, and he said he can come mental breakdown babysit us if worst comes to worst

I played a bit more Stardew (finished the community center Winter 16 of year 1) and Peyton read us another two chapters, and now it's just shy of 10pm and time for bed. I didn't shower tonight, I don't have clean work clothes for tomorrow, but I think work will understand why I'll be showing up slightly greasy haired and in a sweatshirt when they ask about house and cat updates tomorrow. and we have a week and a half at this point to be out of the house!! it's fine I'm fine

[digiexpert894]

The Best SEO Tools to Boost Your Website's Rankings in 2024

In the ever-evolving world of digital marketing, staying ahead in search engine optimization (SEO) is critical. Whether you're a seasoned marketer or a business owner venturing into the online space, having the right tools can make all the difference. With numerous options available, finding the Best SEO Tools can feel overwhelming. This blog will simplify the search by highlighting top tools that help optimize your website and drive results.

What Are SEO Tools, and Why Are They Important?

SEO tools are essential software designed to help you improve your website's visibility in search engines like Google. These tools analyze various aspects of your website, such as keyword rankings, backlinks, technical performance, and more. By leveraging the Best SEO Tools, you can make informed decisions, enhance your content strategy, and improve your site's performance.

Top 7 Best SEO Tools You Should Try in 2024

Here’s a curated list of tools that can elevate your SEO game:

1. Ahrefs

Ahrefs is a comprehensive tool that provides detailed insights into keyword rankings, backlinks, and competitor strategies. Its Site Explorer feature lets you uncover opportunities to outperform your rivals. Ahrefs is particularly popular for its extensive backlink analysis, which is essential for building a strong domain authority.

2. SEMrush

SEMrush is a versatile platform that covers everything from keyword research to competitive analysis and site audits. Its intuitive interface and robust database make it one of the Best SEO Tools for beginners and experts alike. SEMrush also includes PPC and social media insights, adding extra value.

3. Google Search Console

A free tool offered by Google, Search Console is indispensable for monitoring your website’s performance. It helps you identify indexing issues, analyze keyword performance, and gain insights into how Google views your site. While simple, it's a powerhouse for those starting with SEO.

4. Yoast SEO

If you’re using WordPress, Yoast SEO is a must-have plugin. It simplifies on-page SEO by offering real-time suggestions for improving your content, such as keyword density, readability, and meta descriptions. It’s ideal for ensuring your blog content aligns with SEO best practices.

5. Moz Pro

Moz Pro is known for its user-friendly design and in-depth SEO insights. It offers tools for keyword research, site audits, and link building. The MozBar browser extension is particularly handy for on-the-go analysis, making it one of the Best SEO Tools for professionals.

6. Ubersuggest

Created by marketing guru Neil Patel, Ubersuggest is a budget-friendly option for small businesses. It excels in keyword research and provides valuable suggestions for improving website rankings. Its competitor analysis features are also worth exploring.

7. Screaming Frog SEO Spider

This tool specializes in technical SEO. It crawls your website to identify issues like broken links, duplicate content, and missing meta tags. For those serious about maintaining a healthy website structure, Screaming Frog is one of the Best SEO Tools out there.

How to Choose the Right SEO Tool?

Selecting the right tool depends on your goals and budget. If you’re a beginner, free tools like Google Search Console or Ubersuggest can provide significant insights. For advanced users or agencies, investing in premium tools like Ahrefs or SEMrush can deliver comprehensive analytics and detailed reporting.

Here are a few tips to consider:

Budget: Determine how much you're willing to spend.

Features: Identify your specific needs—keyword research, backlink analysis, or technical audits.

Ease of Use: Opt for tools with intuitive interfaces.

Scalability: Ensure the tool can grow with your business.

Why Using the Best SEO Tools Matters

SEO is not a one-time task but an ongoing process that requires regular analysis and optimization. By using the Best SEO Tools, you can:

Save time with automated reporting.

Make data-driven decisions for better results.

Stay updated on industry trends.

Gain a competitive edge over your rivals.

Final Thoughts

In the competitive digital landscape, leveraging the Best SEO Tools is essential for improving your website's visibility and driving organic traffic. Whether you're looking for in-depth competitor analysis, keyword insights, or technical audits, the right tool can streamline your efforts and maximize your ROI. Experiment with the tools listed above to find the perfect fit for your business.

[getfleshy]

Exploring the World of Male Pleasure Devices - What’s Hot Right Now

As sexual wellness continues to gain prominence, the market for male pleasure devices is expanding with innovative and exciting options. From high-tech gadgets to luxurious accessories, there’s something for everyone looking to enhance their sexual experiences. This guide explores the hottest trends and devices in the world of male pleasure right now, highlighting the top choices that are making waves Getfleshy.

1. Interactive Masturbators: Blending Technology with Pleasure

Interactive masturbators are at the forefront of modern male pleasure devices, combining advanced technology with traditional stimulation to create immersive experiences.

Kiiroo Onyx+: The Kiiroo Onyx+ is a standout in interactive masturbation. It features interactive technology that syncs with compatible adult content, providing a responsive experience that mimics real-life sensations. With adjustable settings and a sleek design, it offers a personalized and high-tech approach to pleasure.

Autoblow AI: This device uses artificial intelligence to simulate oral sex with remarkable realism. Its customizable settings allow users to adjust the speed and intensity, making it one of the most sophisticated masturbators available. The Autoblow AI is designed for those who seek an advanced, automated experience.

2. High-End Prostate Massagers: Luxury Meets Functionality

Prostate massagers have evolved beyond simple designs to incorporate luxury features and sophisticated technology. These devices are crafted for intense pleasure and enhanced sexual health.

Lelo Hugo: The Lelo Hugo is a premium prostate massager that combines powerful vibrations with remote control functionality. Its ergonomic design and adjustable settings make it suitable for both solo and partnered play, offering a sophisticated and intense experience.

Aneros Helix Syn: Renowned for its ergonomic design and hands-free stimulation, the Helix Syn provides targeted prostate pleasure with a focus on comfort. Its flexible shape and high-quality materials ensure a satisfying experience.

3. Vibrating Cock Rings: Elevating Stamina and Pleasure

Vibrating cock rings are designed to enhance erections and prolong stamina while providing extra stimulation for both partners. They are popular for their ability to combine pleasure with performance.

LELO Tor: A luxurious vibrating cock ring, the LELO Tor offers multiple vibration settings and a comfortable fit. Its sleek design and powerful vibrations make it a top choice for those looking to elevate their intimate moments.

Screaming O Ring: Known for its affordability and effectiveness, the Screaming O Ring features a vibrating function that adds extra stimulation. It’s easy to use and perfect for enhancing pleasure during sex.

4. Advanced Penis Pumps: Enhancing Size and Function

Penis pumps have become more sophisticated, with advanced features that offer better performance and comfort. These devices are used to enhance size and improve erectile function.

Bathmate Hydromax: Utilizing water for a more comfortable pumping experience, the Bathmate Hydromax offers adjustable pressure settings and various sizes. It’s designed for both safety and effectiveness, making it a popular choice among users.

Penomet: The Penomet features an interchangeable gaiter system that allows for customizable suction levels. Its ergonomic design and ease of use make it a standout option for those seeking enhanced performance.

5. Compact and Discreet Strokers: Pleasure on the Go

Compact and discreet strokers offer high-quality stimulation in a travel-friendly design. These devices are perfect for those who want pleasure without the bulk.

Tenga Egg: The Tenga Egg is a disposable stroker with a unique internal texture that provides different sensations. Its compact size and easy cleanup make it ideal for travel or quick pleasure.

Fleshlight Quickshot: The Quickshot is a versatile and compact stroker with an open-ended design. It’s easy to clean and provides intense stimulation, making it a great choice for both solo and partnered play.

Conclusion

The world of male pleasure devices is vibrant and continuously evolving, offering a range of options to suit different preferences and needs. From interactive masturbators and high-end prostate massagers to vibrating cock rings and advanced penis pumps, the latest trends in male pleasure devices cater to various desires and lifestyles. As you explore these hot new products, consider your personal preferences and needs to find the perfect device that enhances your sexual experiences. Embracing innovation and quality in your pleasure devices can lead to a more fulfilling and enjoyable journey in sexual wellness.

[loremonster]

Almost like they just wanna train the AI on your data, specifically because the Holy Grail for social media giants like Facebook right now is an AI that can be mistaken for a person. Because they want Bots that cannot be discerned from a person and Make Their Own View Numbers and milk more money outta the ad companies-- the ENTIRE process of selling ad space online is completely automated. The bot selling the space reports as much metadata as it has on the user, and the buyer bots bid on the ad space; auctions with 100's of participants, resolving in the time it takes to load a page or video. Your attention- auctioned off to the highest bidder, and the bidder cannot even be fucked to bid themselves. Nope, automated that shit.

Now here's the twisted part-- YouTube was previously making extra ad revanue via children's content ( before the COPPA crackdown ) with BOTS! Because the behavior of toddlers and the behavior of bots is similar enough to be mistaken for one another, and toddlers don't get annoyed by reptition as quickly, so YouTube was making BANK by inflating the views of baby and child targeted videos.

Now they want a better bot. Because real eyeballs aren't the point. The point is to zurg rush into the space to inflate views and impressions and get as much money out of the system as fast as possible before the regulators come back.

The first try wasn't ready, the tech cannot be mistaken for human. They can't put the cat back in the bag, so the only option ( to leaders in the tech sector ) is to push it out EVEN HARDER, FORCE adoption ( like how Facebook comes pre loaded on a phone and you can't delete it, just put it to sleep ) and tell consumers YOU WANTED THIS! LOOK! ITS NEW! and ignore all complaints while their journalist friends write condecending articles about how We, the proles, are the ones who aren't ready for the technology! Its all our fault, if we'd just gone along with it, they'd have the data to fix it by now! Or not, who knows? Its not a provable claim!

So now our job is to scream. Complain. Overwhelm company complaint lines, @ their social medias if you got the clout to be seen, tell ambivilant or apathetic friends Why They Should Be Angry And Make It Known.

[whumpy-bi]

Mechanic

Words: 734

Fandom: Five Nights at Freddy’s

Warnings: mild gore, description of severe injuries, stabbing, blood, major character death

Notes: first thing I’ve ever written with a ‘bad’ ending, lmao. Heavily inspired by Tunnel Vision by St4tic on YouTube, and Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023).

Jay huffed as he finally descended the final flight of stairs on his way into work. He’d done the climb up and down the two dozen flights countless times as he came and left for repairs, but…he still hadn’t quite built up the endurance to not need twenty minutes in his car afterwards.

He grumbled to himself while scanning his ID badge, lamenting the performers and managers who were allowed to use the guest elevator. Evidently, without anyone saying it out loud, lowly mechanics like Jay were beneath being seen alongside the guests. So, it was the twenty four flights of stairs for him and the other unfortunate employees.

Today, though, it was only Jay. Clocking in for routine cleaning on…which one was it? The fox? The chicken thing?

The automated voice above the door was as jarring as ever, cheery and upbeat in a sugar coated way.

“Good morning, Employee 7472! Today, you are scheduled for routine maintenance for Foxy!”

He only grunted in acknowledgment, pacing to the corresponding showroom. This thing was always extra filthy, of course Jay would be tasked with cleaning it on a Monday. The Fox character was almost his height, awkwardly propped up in a chair for him to work on. Its eyes were as dead and lifeless as always, staring ahead past Jay. Its teeth always seemed…sharper, in the dark. He shook off the creeps, frowning. It’s unplugged, dumbass, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

Jay muttered to himself as he dug through the cabinet, pulling out the industrial (probably unsafe to inhale) cleaning spray and rag he’d been keeping beside it. “Stupid thing, just collects mold and shit…no wonder the kids are terrified of it, almost wish they’d keep it down here.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin. The animatronic had started singing, that stupid copyright free sea shanty it always sang on stage.

Jay found himself freezing, his neck snapping to look back at the Fox—still motionless—as the music continued coming from the speaker hidden in its jaw. A logical part of his brain tried to calm him down—it’s an audio glitch, surely, leftover power from the last time it was switched on. It’s fine.

But the feeling in his gut wouldn’t budge. Something wasn’t right, he could feel it in the cold sweat and intense twists in his chest. Something wasn’t right.

Jay ran before he could think much about it. He’d forgotten about the rag, about the cleaning spray, about the door—something was wrong, and he needed to get out.

He fought his panic and exhaustion to keep his breathing steady as he rushed up the stairs, suddenly very grateful for the harsh overhead lights and flimsy railing as they helped him keep his footing.

To Jay’s credit, he’d made it about halfway up. He refused to stop or slow down, despite the burning in his calves and his throat. Was he imagining a second set of footsteps? Why was he so afraid of looking behind him?

He turned on his foot to ascend to the next flight, and—

Something sharp and strong dug into the flesh of his arm. He began to let out a strangled scream of pain, twisting to try pulling it off.

He only got a glimpse of the Fox’s face before he registered that he was falling.

Jay wasn’t sure how, but he’d managed to move his arms in front of him before he’d hit the concrete floor. Not that it helped much, he thought to himself—he could feel a new, horrifying pain spreading through all his limbs. A freezing sort of agony wove into his arm—the open wound exposed to the frigid air of the basement.

He heaved, struggling to maintain his breathing. Ribs had to be broken, surely. But he had to get up.

His brain fought and strained, trying every method it could to force his muscles to move. To push up, to get him off the floor, to get away from the metallic footsteps that kept getting louder—

He somehow managed to move his neck, despite the extra pressure it caused. The Fox was staring back down at him, still singing that goddamn song.

“Please…” He was really desperate enough to beg. “Please, I—I need hel—“

Another voice stopped Jay’s in its tracks. A deep, imposing command. “End it.”

Jay didn’t have much time to process before the animatronic lunged for his chest.

[bfxenon]

The Moz Links API: An Introduction

What exactly IS an API? They’re those things that you copy and paste long strange codes into Screaming Frog for links data on a Site Crawl, right?

I’m here to tell you there’s so much more to them than that – if you’re willing to take just a few little steps. But first, some basics.

What’s an API?

API stands for “application programming interface”, and it’s just the way of… using a thing. Everything has an API. The web is a giant API that takes URLs as input and returns pages.

But special data services like the Moz Links API have their own set of rules. These rules vary from service to service and can be a major stumbling block for people taking the next step.

When Screaming Frog gives you the extra links columns in a crawl, it’s using the Moz Links API, but you can have this capability anywhere. For example, all that tedious manual stuff you do in spreadsheet environments can be automated from data-pull to formatting and emailing a report.

If you take this next step, you can be more efficient than your competitors, designing and delivering your own SEO services instead of relying upon, paying for, and being limited by the next proprietary product integration.

GET vs. POST

Most APIs you’ll encounter use the same data transport mechanism as the web. That means there’s a URL involved just like a website. Don’t get scared! It’s easier than you think. In many ways, using an API is just like using a website.

As with loading web pages, the request may be in one of two places: the URL itself, or in the body of the request. The URL is called the “endpoint” and the often invisibly submitted extra part of the request is called the “payload” or “data”. When the data is in the URL, it’s called a “query string” and indicates the “GET” method is used. You see this all the time when you search:

https://www.google.com/search?q=moz+links+api <-- GET method

When the data of the request is hidden, it’s called a “POST” request. You see this when you submit a form on the web and the submitted data does not show on the URL. When you hit the back button after such a POST, browsers usually warn you against double-submits. The reason the POST method is often used is that you can fit a lot more in the request using the POST method than the GET method. URLs would get very long otherwise. The Moz Links API uses the POST method.

Making requests

A web browser is what traditionally makes requests of websites for web pages. The browser is a type of software known as a client. Clients are what make requests of services. More than just browsers can make requests. The ability to make client web requests is often built into programming languages like Python, or can be broken out as a standalone tool. The most popular tools for making requests outside a browser are curl and wget.

We are discussing Python here. Python has a built-in library called URLLIB, but it’s designed to handle so many different types of requests that it’s a bit of a pain to use. There are other libraries that are more specialized for making requests of APIs. The most popular for Python is called requests. It’s so popular that it’s used for almost every Python API tutorial you’ll find on the web. So I will use it too. This is what “hitting” the Moz Links API looks like:

response = requests.post(endpoint, data=json_string, auth=auth_tuple)

Given that everything was set up correctly (more on that soon), this will produce the following output:

{'next_token': 'JYkQVg4s9ak8iRBWDiz1qTyguYswnj035nqrQ1oIbW96IGJsb2dZgGzDeAM7Rw==', 'results': [{'anchor_text': 'moz', 'external_pages': 7162, 'external_root_domains': 2026}]}

This is JSON data. It's contained within the response object that was returned from the API. It’s not on the drive or in a file. It’s in memory. So long as it’s in memory, you can do stuff with it (often just saving it to a file).

If you wanted to grab a piece of data within such a response, you could refer to it like this:

response['results'][0]['external_pages']

This says: “Give me the first item in the results list, and then give me the external_pages value from that item.” The result would be 7162.

NOTE: If you’re actually following along executing code, the above line won’t work alone. There’s a certain amount of setup we’ll do shortly, including installing the requests library and setting up a few variables. But this is the basic idea.

JSON

JSON stands for JavaScript Object Notation. It’s a way of representing data in a way that’s easy for humans to read and write. It’s also easy for computers to read and write. It’s a very common data format for APIs that has somewhat taken over the world since the older ways were too difficult for most people to use. Some people might call this part of the “restful” API movement, but the much more difficult XML format is also considered “restful” and everyone seems to have their own interpretation. Consequently, I find it best to just focus on JSON and how it gets in and out of Python.

Python dictionaries

I lied to you. I said that the data structure you were looking at above was JSON. Technically it’s really a Python dictionary or dict datatype object. It’s a special kind of object in Python that’s designed to hold key/value pairs. The keys are strings and the values can be any type of object. The keys are like the column names in a spreadsheet. The values are like the cells in the spreadsheet. In this way, you can think of a Python dict as a JSON object. For example here’s creating a dict in Python:

my_dict = { "name": "Mike", "age": 52, "city": "New York" }

And here is the equivalent in JavaScript:

var my_json = { "name": "Mike", "age": 52, "city": "New York" }

Pretty much the same thing, right? Look closely. Key-names and string values get double-quotes. Numbers don’t. These rules apply consistently between JSON and Python dicts. So as you might imagine, it’s easy for JSON data to flow in and out of Python. This is a great gift that has made modern API-work highly accessible to the beginner through a tool that has revolutionized the field of data science and is making inroads into marketing, Jupyter Notebooks.

Flattening data

But beware! As data flows between systems, it’s not uncommon for the data to subtly change. For example, the JSON data above might be converted to a string. Strings might look exactly like JSON, but they’re not. They’re just a bunch of characters. Sometimes you’ll hear it called “serializing”, or “flattening”. It’s a subtle point, but worth understanding as it will help with one of the largest stumbling blocks with the Moz Links (and most JSON) APIs.

Objects have APIs

Actual JSON or dict objects have their own little APIs for accessing the data inside of them. The ability to use these JSON and dict APIs goes away when the data is flattened into a string, but it will travel between systems more easily, and when it arrives at the other end, it will be “deserialized” and the API will come back on the other system.

Data flowing between systems

This is the concept of portable, interoperable data. Back when it was called Electronic Data Interchange (or EDI), it was a very big deal. Then along came the web and then XML and then JSON and now it’s just a normal part of doing business.

If you’re in Python and you want to convert a dict to a flattened JSON string, you do the following:

import json my_dict = { "name": "Mike", "age": 52, "city": "New York" } json_string = json.dumps(my_dict)

…which would produce the following output:

'{"name": "Mike", "age": 52, "city": "New York"}'

This looks almost the same as the original dict, but if you look closely you can see that single-quotes are used around the entire thing. Another obvious difference is that you can line-wrap real structured data for readability without any ill effect. You can't do it so easily with strings. That’s why it’s presented all on one line in the above snippet.

Such stringifying processes are done when passing data between different systems because they are not always compatible. Normal text strings on the other hand are compatible with almost everything and can be passed on web-requests with ease. Such flattened strings of JSON data are frequently referred to as the request.

Anatomy of a request

Again, here’s the example request we made above:

response = requests.post(endpoint, data=json_string, auth=auth_tuple)

Now that you understand what the variable name json_string is telling you about its contents, you shouldn’t be surprised to see this is how we populate that variable:

data_dict = { "target": "moz.com/blog", "scope": "page", "limit": 1 } json_string = json.dumps(data_dict)

…and the contents of json_string looks like this:

'{"target": "moz.com/blog", "scope": "page", "limit": 1}'

This is one of my key discoveries in learning the Moz Links API. This is in common with countless other APIs out there but trips me up every time because it’s so much more convenient to work with structured dicts than flattened strings. However, most APIs expect the data to be a string for portability between systems, so we have to convert it at the last moment before the actual API-call occurs.

Pythonic loads and dumps

Now you may be wondering in that above example, what a dump is doing in the middle of the code. The json.dumps() function is called a “dumper” because it takes a Python object and dumps it into a string. The json.loads() function is called a “loader” because it takes a string and loads it into a Python object.

The reason for what appear to be singular and plural options are actually binary and string options. If your data is binary, you use json.load() and json.dump(). If your data is a string, you use json.loads() and json.dumps(). The s stands for string. Leaving the s off means binary.

Don’t let anybody tell you Python is perfect. It’s just that its rough edges are not excessively objectionable.

Assignment vs. equality

For those of you completely new to Python or programming in general, what we’re doing when we hit the API is called an assignment. The result of requests.post() is being assigned to the variable named response.

response = requests.post(endpoint, data=json_string, auth=auth_tuple)

We are using the = sign to assign the value of the right side of the equation to the variable on the left side of the equation. The variable response is now a reference to the object that was returned from the API. Assignment is different from equality. The == sign is used for equality.

# This is assignment: a = 1 # a is now equal to 1 # This is equality: a == 1 # True, but relies that the above line has been executed

The POST method

response = requests.post(endpoint, data=json_string, auth=auth_tuple)

The requests library has a function called post() that takes 3 arguments. The first argument is the URL of the endpoint. The second argument is the data to send to the endpoint. The third argument is the authentication information to send to the endpoint.

Keyword parameters and their arguments

You may notice that some of the arguments to the post() function have names. Names are set equal to values using the = sign. Here’s how Python functions get defined. The first argument is positional both because it comes first and also because there’s no keyword. Keyworded arguments come after position-dependent arguments. Trust me, it all makes sense after a while. We all start to think like Guido van Rossum.

def arbitrary_function(argument1, name=argument2): # do stuff

The name in the above example is called a “keyword” and the values that come in on those locations are called “arguments”. Now arguments are assigned to variable names right in the function definition, so you can refer to either argument1 or argument2 anywhere inside this function. If you’d like to learn more about the rules of Python functions, you can read about them here.

Setting up the request

Okay, so let’s let you do everything necessary for that success assured moment. We’ve been showing the basic request:

response = requests.post(endpoint, data=json_string, auth=auth_tuple)

…but we haven’t shown everything that goes into it. Let’s do that now. If you’re following along and don’t have the requests library installed, you can do so with the following command from the same terminal environment from which you run Python:

pip install requests

Often times Jupyter will have the requests library installed already, but in case it doesn’t, you can install it with the following command from inside a Notebook cell:

!pip install requests

And now we can put it all together. There’s only a few things here that are new. The most important is how we’re taking 2 different variables and combining them into a single variable called AUTH_TUPLE. You will have to get your own ACCESSID and SECRETKEY from the Moz.com website.

The API expects these two values to be passed as a Python data structure called a tuple. A tuple is a list of values that don’t change. I find it interesting that requests.post() expects flattened strings for the data parameter, but expects a tuple for the auth parameter. I suppose it makes sense, but these are the subtle things to understand when working with APIs.

Here’s the full code:

import json import pprint import requests # Set Constants ACCESSID = "mozscape-1234567890" # Replace with your access ID SECRETKEY = "1234567890abcdef1234567890abcdef" # Replace with your secret key AUTH_TUPLE = (ACCESSID, SECRETKEY) # Set Variables endpoint = "https://lsapi.seomoz.com/v2/anchor_text" data_dict = {"target": "moz.com/blog", "scope": "page", "limit": 1} json_string = json.dumps(data_dict) # Make the Request response = requests.post(endpoint, data=json_string, auth=AUTH_TUPLE) # Print the Response pprint(response.json())

…which outputs:

{'next_token': 'JYkQVg4s9ak8iRBWDiz1qTyguYswnj035nqrQ1oIbW96IGJsb2dZgGzDeAM7Rw==', 'results': [{'anchor_text': 'moz', 'external_pages': 7162, 'external_root_domains': 2026}]}

Using all upper case for the AUTH_TUPLE variable is a convention many use in Python to indicate that the variable is a constant. It’s not a requirement, but it’s a good idea to follow conventions when you can.

You may notice that I didn’t use all uppercase for the endpoint variable. That’s because the anchor_text endpoint is not a constant. There are a number of different endpoints that can take its place depending on what sort of lookup we wanted to do. The choices are:

anchor_text

final_redirect

global_top_pages

global_top_root_domains

index_metadata

link_intersect

link_status

linking_root_domains

links

top_pages

url_metrics

usage_data

And that leads into the Jupyter Notebook that I prepared on this topic located here on Github. With this Notebook you can extend the example I gave here to any of the 12 available endpoints to create a variety of useful deliverables, which will be the subject of articles to follow.

[jojotier]

no but karkat being bad at coding is actually instrumental to his characterization because coding means having an excess of patience, being able to pay attention to absolutely minuscule details, working in small, manageable chunks rather than focusing on the picture, and also trying not to get too pissed because Javascript keeps putting an extra ' even though i typed \' BECAUSE I WANTED THE CONSOLE TO PRINT THE FUCKING QUOTATION MARK NOT BECAUSE IM DECLARING A NEW STRING WITHIN A STRING but its LITERALLY just a shitty little mark, it barely even counts as quotation, it has no fucking business having the authority to quote someone because when i run the STUPID Fucking Code Javascript starts SCREAMING AT ME about shit being Undeclared and it's YOU. YOU ARE THE ONE DECLARING IT YOU PERSNICKETY MECHANICAL FOOL. DON'T YOU DARE PIN THE BLAME ON ME BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD FILL IN MY CODE EVEN BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO FILL IN MY CODE. AND WHO THE FUCK IS GIVING YOU THE RIGHT TO AUTOMATE SHIT? YOU CAN BARELY RUN A SIMULACRA OF WIPING YOUR OWN GAPING ASSHOLE WITHOUT SCREAMING IN ABJECT HORROR WHENEVER I ATTEMPT TO LINK MORE THAN THREE SCRIPTS. BUT SURE! FUCK! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN I DO I FUCKING GUESS!!!!

[twinterrors29]

Rex and Cody set up an automated check-for-Obi-Wan's-approval system about three months after Anakin got Knighted to get an extra layer of oversight before implementing Anakin's particularly weird orders

Appo, as a Commander in the 501st, was well-trained in this system's use, and automatically submitted the form when Vader ordered the 501st to march on the Jedi Temple

but since Obi-Wan was hardly checking his work comm while fleeing Utapau, the form was left unapproved, and thus Appo knew not to follow through on Vader's orders

this led to Obi-Wan arriving on Coruscant to find his screaming former Padawan being restrained by ten Temple Guards as he was dragged toward the Halls of Healing