#BATB tag | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

coolcattime · 4 months ago

Text

Home and Free: Chapter Seventeen - One Careless, Wrong Decision

Characters: Captain Capsize, Sonja Firefox, Skipper Redbeard, Jordan Captainsparklez, Tucker Jericho, Tom Syndicate, Martha the Mystic, Mot Screziato, Alyssa Countybat, Waglington, Farmer Steve, Prince Andor, Jeriah, Lady Ianite, Lord Dianite

Relationship: Captain Capsize/Sonja Firefox, Captain Capsize/Jordan Captainsparklez (onesided)

AO3 Link

Full Story Tag

Capsize could fathom saying nothing else.

She had known for a while now that there was something more going on in the castle than she had figured out. She had suspected from the beginning that there was some secret to the enchanted furniture. She had known, had been so sure, that the creation of such objects was impossible, but finding out that she had been correct in that assumption left nothing but a bitter taste in her mouth

Of course regular magic had not created them, she had always thought that to be impossible. So here was the explanation: a curse laid as a godly punishment. A curse that Lady Ianite had placed on so many innocent people for the actions of a single person.

It was an incredibly bitter pill to swallow. Yet now the truth had been told she couldn’t stop thinking about all she had written off in attempts to put her own mind at ease. Even if she had been considering and attempting to investigate, she had still avoided thinking of the oddities far too often.

Now everything had been laid bare and everything that had been bothering her suddenly made sense. Their far too detailed personalities and relationships. Their knowledge of places and people that logically they should know nothing of. Her own reoccurring sureness that she should be recalling something when the enchanted trinkets mentioned certain names and titles.

How far had the curse gone that the castle didn’t even exist on maps? That Capsize believed there was no Champion of Dianite despite how she most certainly should’ve known that.

She did not want to believe her goddess had performed such a horrible act. Yet she had no arguments of denial. How could she? She had seen the rose herself when she’d ventured into the west wing. Each petal had borne Lady Ianite’s symbol. What other explanation was there but her goddess’ involvement?

Only a fool would still be in denial. Capsize would admit to being a great many things in relation to her goddess, but a fool was not one of them, at least not at this point. She could not deny that her goddess had done something completely unthinkable.

“What?” Sonja replied, looking down at her completely unable to process that Capsize hadn’t just called her some horrible name. Because, surely, that was what she deserved. She had done something so terrible. So, shouldn’t Capsize hate her?

However, Capsize was looking at her with tears in her eyes, as if she was someone to be pitied. Somehow, she was looking at her like she wasn’t a…

Sonja just didn’t understand. “Why are you sorry? I— I did something horrible.”

Capsize looked at the Beast that had become her friend. She could see such a fear in her eyes, a fear that had been there throughout her entire telling of the story. But she could hardly be blamed for it. What was someone supposed to think when they had been damned by a goddess?

“Because nothing could justify what she did. There is no act cruel enough to justify cursing innocent people,” She said, struggling to keep her voice steady despite how her confidence in that fact didn’t waver. She hated how hard it was to keep herself steady as she didn’t want to give even the slightest hint of a notion that she was angry at Sonja.

But it was hard when she was angry, angry that Ianite thought this was in any way a just punishment. How was this in any way balance? “Even if one single act of cruelty was enough to justify a god’s wrath, why should your actions have cursed everyone else in the castle?”

“They didn’t, that’s the—” Sonja stopped herself as she realised what she was saying. She was just agreeing with Capsize... Because, without a doubt her point was right. None of the others had deserved to be cursed because of her.

Presumably, the goddess had punished the rest of the castle alongside her to make the curse harder to break. Had they remained humans, they could’ve ventured out and found people able to help rather than needing to rely on travellers stumbling upon a castle completely forgotten by the world. It would’ve been a far lesser lesson.

Though, of course, that couldn’t be the reason she gave Capsize. Not without explaining that she too had been human.

Besides, none of that meant she deserved any forgiveness. So, she mulled over an answer she could give. “If I needed to be forgotten, then leaving them remembered and able to leave wouldn’t have worked…”

What else could she say? She wasn’t even sure why she wanted to say anything. She obviously held no love for the goddess after she had ruined her life and the lives of all those that lived with her. But, still, she didn’t deserve Capsize’s sympathy.

“It needed to be a lesson… I needed to lose everything.”

Capsize too, with sickness still stuck in her throat, mulled over her words.

Perhaps it wasn’t her place to keep talking. She was not there that night, so perhaps she simply couldn’t understand. Yet she… She just couldn’t sit here and listen to Sonja insist she deserved this.

“No one deserves to lose everything,” She said quietly, with far too much relation in her voice.

Sonja’s throat froze as her eyes widened. She hadn’t meant for even a second to imply that Capsize had deserved--!

Reassurances were ready to fall from her tongue, that she wasn’t comparing the two of them. That, of course, Capsize was different.

However, Capsize spoke first. “You didn’t mention your age during the story, but you’re the same age as Tom, aren’t you?”

“About the same, yes,” Sonja replied, not quite understanding where this could be going. Though, despite her answer being the truth, it felt so strange saying so when Tom had been stuck in an unchanging body for so long now.

Though the question confused her. What did her age matter? Surely it must, else why would Capsize be bringing it up? But she truly saw no way that anything beyond her actions could matter.

Capsize’s stomach truly turned.

“So, when this curse was cast, you were a teenager?” She asked, every ounce of faith she had left in her goddess hoping she was wrong.

It would still be a terrible act. After all, regardless of Sonja’s age, Andor and Alyssa would’ve most certainly been children cursed for no fault of their own.

But she still needed to know. She needed to know just how far her goddess had gone.

Soft brown eyes stared at Sonja. Despite how they were filled with concern, they still left her hesitant to answer. Why was she so desperate to forgive her?

“Yes… But I was still old enough to know better,” She insisted. She had no excuse for what she had done to who she had assumed to be a completely ordinary woman who was asking for kindness.

Yet Capsize’s expression did not shift from its concerned laced state. Ianite had done so many things that she didn’t understand, but this was beyond the pale.

She needed to make sure Sonja saw that. Even if she could not convince Sonja here and now. As much as she wanted to take hold of Sonja’s paws and reassure her that what had been done to her and the others here was wrong and certainly not entirely her fault as she believed, she felt in her heart that she would not be successful.

After years of bearing such a weight on her shoulders, Capsize could not erase Sonja’s self-blame all at once. But, by the gods, that did not mean she was in any way okay with this.

Carefully and gently, she took hold of one of Sonja’s paws in her hands. The fur was warm against her skin, reminding the two of just how long they had been sitting in the snow.

Sonja shifted slightly with the intent of moving inside as she realised how cold Capsize must be.

However, Capsize remained completely still. There were still so many things that she wanted to say, but she knew so many were far too strong for the current moment. So, she said the only words she felt able to.

“I promise you, I will figure out a way to fix this,” She spoke with all the confidence she had held as a captain. If Ianite valued their connection at all, she would answer for what she had done here. But with or without her goddess’ aid, she truly meant her words.

Sonja’s heart began beating wildly. Of course, Capsize did not know what she was saying. She remained oblivious to love being the way to break the curse. Yet still, hearing those words Sonja could almost believe there was a real chance of the curse breaking.

If it were to be anyone… Sonja would be truly happy if it were Capsize. She looked at her with a smile with warmth in her eyes.

“I truly hope you can.”

🌹 🌹 🌹

The next few days could not quite be described as tense, but there was undeniably a certain unease in the air. It didn’t take long for the residents of the castle to learn that Sonja had revealed the truth of their situation. Most of the truth, anyway.

The reaction to this decision had been mixed to say the least.

Tom, of course, was thrilled to no longer need to hide what little of his identity that he had been keeping secret. He could fully admit to being a human, that he knew people in the town. It had been a weight off, even with the awkwardness that came from having to admit that his closest friends were the same people that had made Capsize’s life miserable. But he had known that reveal was always going to happen sooner or later, better he admit it to her rather than it be a complete blindside once the curse was broken.

Martha, meanwhile, was less than happy about it. All the effort they had put in to make sure the curse remained a secret had been utterly wasted. However, she couldn’t exactly say anything had gone wrong because of the tale being told. Capsize’s behaviour towards them had barely changed at all. After all, she had always seen them as people.

Though there had been a change it was impossible to miss though. Her every interaction now carried a certain guilt that hadn’t been there previously. Despite all their collective efforts to reassure her, she seemed quite unable to shift it.

Capsize knew that she wasn’t responsible for any of it, but still, she couldn’t help but feel guilt given her connection to Ianite. She should have asked more that night all those years ago that Ianite had spoken to her so upset, maybe she could’ve done something to help. Despite what she had been trying to instil into Sonja, the what ifs of her own actions were anchored into her brain.

Tom, when Capsize was firmly out of earshot, said with the utmost confidence that he was sure that once Capsize broke the curse, any guilt she still held would leave. Everyone else could only hope that was true.

However, today Capsize sat alone in the library. While the guilt was still lingering in the back of her mind, primarily she was beginning to get antsy.

She had been desperate to speak with Ianite for months prior to her arrival at the castle, as well as that first week here when she was trapped and scared. But that had been a very different sort of desperation than the one currently prickling underneath her skin.

Originally, her want had been laced with a quiet sadness as she mourned the life she had lost and the seeming loss of her goddess that came alongside it. More than anything she had just wanted to hear her voice and talk as they used to.

Now, though, her want for answers was fuelling an anger that was continuing to fester each day that passed without word from her goddess.

Perhaps there should’ve been anger all along. With how much she had disliked the town, with how terrible Jordan and the other people living there had been to her. There had been a bitterness forming under her tongue the whole time, but rather than anger, it had become a melancholy exhaustion.

She couldn’t be angry at Ianite for it all. She had made her own decisions that had led her to where she was. She hadn’t had to move to the town. She hadn’t had to bite her tongue about her dislike of Jordan. So even if she could’ve blamed Ianite for all of it, it had instead fell quickly into self-loathing.

However, the curse was an entirely different beast.

Capsize still had a creeping nausea whenever she thought about it. No matter how much she considered every angle – even considering Sonja’s entire story being softened at every point to make herself look better – nothing could have made such a punishment justifiable.

She needed answers. She had never needed them more. Every moment new ones were forming in her head. And, on her life, she was going to get them.

However, as was clear enough for how long it had been since she had heard from her goddess, Capsize’s connection with Ianite was not something controllable from her end. Lady Ianite could speak to her whenever she so desired but Capsize did not have the same benefit. If she did, then that would both be news to Capsize and would mean Ianite was intentionally choosing to ignore her and… Well, that would just be an additional thing to be angry about.

Still, she had tried to put her anger aside as she reached out to Ianite. However, each time she received no reply, the prickles of anger just got worse.

She tried to ignore it, to just focus on the present and enjoy time with Sonja or Tom or in the library or anything. Yet, no matter how she tried, she could not fully distract herself. Until she finally got answers, she knew she would not be able to rest her thoughts.

Thankfully, as she sat in the library that afternoon, only half reading the book in her hands, the voice she had been waiting to hear for so long finally came into her head.

“Capsize,” Despite how everything had changed since their last conversation, Lady Ianite sounded exactly the same as ever. The soft tone that she had retained through all their conversations in the town. Her voice was as comforting as it was utterly distant as it was the same tone that had offered no real answers each time she had begged for them.

Despite this, before she had always clung to her voice. As much as the conversations had never given her what she wanted, she had still never wanted them to end and wept when they did. More than once, she had worried Redbeard when he had returned to the house to find her unexplainably upset.

Still, though, the desire to just enjoy this conversation tugged at her. And she hated it.

It would be so easy to just be happy that her friend was talking to her once more and ignore all she had learnt. But Capsize had questions and this time Ianite was going to answer them.

“Ia,” The nickname slipped out so easily, though it did not make her tone any softer. After all she had learnt, there was an inescapable terseness that she decided was at least better than biting anger. She could not chase her off when she had gone so long without a word. “I’m glad my prayers have finally reached you.”

“I did not mean to give you any impression of ignoring you. I… I have not been paying attention as I should have been. Are you okay, my messenger?” It was more concern than she had offered her in the past year. It was nearly enough to break through the anger, but not quite.

When she had begged for her words, she had received silence. When she had been made a prisoner and prayed desperately for help, she’d been left to cry herself into numbness. Hearing the concern now just rang hollow.

“I’m… I’m safe,” She gave the most honest answer she could. She could not precisely say that she was okay, not with all that remained unanswered. She thought it best to not worry Ianite if she could avoid it, though.

Despite her intentions, there was a sharp intake of breath from the goddess. “I mean I’m—”

“You reinjured your leg, didn’t you,” There was a sombreness to the statement that again threatened to take Capsize away from the goal she had for the conversation. She had not heard Ianite so worried for her since her original injury. Though this time it brought forth confusion.

When she had first been injured, Ianite had known immediately. That was the only explanation she had for the ‘miracles’ that had allowed her to survive with her leg. Then in the town, no matter how long the silence between them could last, Ia would always talk to her after any minor reinjury. It was a pattern that had held true for the past two years… Until the wolf attack.

That had been by far the most dangerous situation she had found herself in since leaving her life as a captain, yet she had not heard so much as a whisper from her goddess afterwards. It hadn’t crossed her mind until now but… Could Ianite not sense what had been happening to her?

“I did, but that was a couple of months ago now. It’s healing just fine. It’s not what I wanted to talk about,” She said, trying to figure out precisely how to tell of her current situation.

She had to be careful. She couldn’t risk her overreacting considering what she had already done here. She had absolutely no desire to bring Ianite here unless it was to remove the curse she had placed. Nor did she want her sending any ‘help’ as she was absolutely not going to stand for Jordan coming to ‘rescue’ her.

She couldn’t risk the safety of those here, nor their trust in her. So then, time to be careful. “I’m… Before I tell you what’s happened, please just promise me you’ll remember that I’m safe.”

“What’s going on, Capsize?” The edge in her voice was clear.

Capsize swallowed.

“Please, just promise me.”

“…I promise.”

It wasn’t much reassurance, but she couldn’t avoid telling the story of how she had gotten where she was. This was her best chance at setting right what had been done here.

“A couple of months ago, Red began his usual trip to the market. But there was a storm that night, and a tree in the woods had fallen down and blocked his usual route. He was forced to go down the other path and… And he ended up stranded at a castle when our horse ran off,” She was, admittedly, guessing a little when it came to what exactly had happened to Red that night. He’d never gotten the opportunity to tell her and the idea of asking anyone else made her throat go dry.

Despite there being no reaction from Lady Ianite, Capsize knew that she knew. She supposed it was incredibly unlikely there were two hidden castles in the woods. But, whether due to the messenger’s insistence on being heard or the goddess simply hoping to be incorrect in her assumption, Capsize was given silence to continue the story.

“And Red being Red, he got himself into quite the spot of trouble,” She laughed hollowly as she made the understatement of the century. “The next evening, I found Phillipe—”

“Phillipe?”

“—Our horse, panicked having spent the night fleeing through the woods. Obviously, I knew something terrible must’ve happened to Red, so I rode into the woods, and I found the castle… And I found Red half-frozen to death in a cell.”

The memory still hurt. Thinking back to it, she still felt so angry about the condition he had been left in. Still so angry that she hadn’t gotten to say goodbye. But, unlike most of what she was angry about, it was not anything Ianite could’ve fixed. So she forced herself to bite it down and just continue the story.

“I tried to break him out, but I was found by the Mistress of the Castle. She claimed that he was a thief… That she had no intention of letting him go. So… I took his place. I stayed in the castle so Red could leave,” She could feel her voice wavering and threatening to give out. Every word was hard. She wished she had come here under better circumstances. As she gripped onto the handle of her cane, she made herself to continue. “And I’m okay, really, I’m happy here. But… But Ia, I know you’ve been here before. What did you do to them all? What did you do to Sonja?”

The tone of her voice was far rougher than any she’d used towards her goddess before and made it beyond obvious that she knew exactly what Ianite had done here.

She wanted answers – any kind of answers – for what had happened. Even if she doubted anything could justify it, she wanted to believe that her goddess had some kind of reasoning.

She waited with a desperate hope for some thought out explanation, hoping Ianite would break the silence. She waited so long that she was almost convinced the silence would last forever.

“Is she why you reinjured your leg? Did she hurt you?!” The response, that distinctly was not an answer to her questions, may as well have been ice water thrown onto her. Actually, that would’ve been far more pleasant than the words as they immediately thrust her into anger.

“No! She stopped me from dying that night! Why would you—!”

“You said she imprisoned you and nearly killed your brother! Am I supposed to assume her harmless?” As much as Capsize wanted to bite back an immediate retort, she couldn’t do much beyond wrinkle her nose in frustration. Her own thoughts in her first week here hadn’t exactly been dissimilar from what Ianite was saying.

Yet, despite how she could see the logic in her thought process, this had sailed far from a situation where she could be logical.

“Fine, yes, she didn’t make the best first impression, but I assume she wasn’t precisely keen on your followers,” So, she bit back, bickering and feeling almost like a child despite how she also felt her words were wholly justified.

Sonja’s actions had not been right. Capsize could not argue that regardless of her want to defend her friend. However, if they were going to discuss base reactions grown from assumptions, then it was quite easy to lay blame for the Beast’s hostility towards Redbeard and herself at the goddess’ feet.

Perhaps Capsize was just particularly spiteful after so long a silence, but now that her bitterness had begun to burst, she saw little point in avoiding direct questions. “Why did you curse them? She made a mistake, so you make the world forget about everyone who lives here and steal the humanity of those that live with her?”

Beyond the why, there was also the how of it all annoying Capsize. Not the physical act, she didn’t doubt that Ianite had the power to do this. The evidence of it was before her eyes, after all. But how had she gotten away with cursing her brother’s champion?

Capsize, despite her want for answers, wasn’t sure she wanted to know that particular one.

“I understand that it was extreme, but a lesson was required. One of her station could not be allowed to continue acting as cruel as she was,” Ianite’s tone was not quite cold, but certainly not regretful.

Perhaps had Capsize arrived at the castle straight from her life as a captain, she may have listened to her goddess. However, if these past two years had left her anything, it was the knowledge that titles meant little regarding how people behaved.

“So you think it’s fine to inflict such a heavy punishment upon a teenager, but you allow your champion to do whatever he pleases without consequence?!” The anger brimmed from Capsize’s words as every unpleasantness that she had faced from Jordan forced their way back into her mind. Each and every bitten back emotion was cracking through the dam holding them.

She had complaints about the entire town, but the many built up about Jordan were particularly insulting at this moment.

“What do you--?”

“He’s treated me as nothing more than a prize he’s owed since the moment we met! And everyone in that town follows his lead!” Every comment, whether they were half-heard whispers or statements said directly to her face, came flooding into her mind.

Don’t they look good together?

She is pretty, it’s a shame she’s so strange.

Why does she always play hard to get?

Come on Cap, anyone else would’ve loved it.

We’re meant to be together, a couple. You see how perfect we are together.

Every one she recalled crawled beneath her skin.

“I’ve questioned so often why you sent me there. Why did you want me stuck in a place where no one would respect me? But I thought it was at least out of your hands to fix any of it. Now I’ve learnt that you’re more than happy to harshly punish unpleasant behaviour, so why in the hells did you allow him to treat me so badly?” She hated how easily the bitterness rolled off her tongue.

She still just wanted answers. Even just an apology would be enough. But she had waited so long and learnt such a terrible truth that her anger about it all could not be held back.

Yet there was no satisfaction in letting it out. Having to do this to Ianite just felt hollow.

“I know I have not given you the answers you desire. But I hope you can still have faith in me,” Ianite’s tone was unreadable as she asked Capsize for what should be easy but set exhaustion behind her messenger’s eyes. “I would never let anyone hurt you and his behaviour will be corrected, I assure you. For the curse… There are still moving parts and interfering now would break an agreement I am bound to.”

The words cut a deep betrayal, as much as Capsize wished they didn’t. She slumped into her chair, unable to figure out any words to say back.

It was, Capsize supposed, more of an answer to her questions than she had received in the past two years, but still she had been given nothing. Once more Ianite had just said that nothing could be said and expected her to be okay with being left floating in the unknown. She wished the hollowness it left was new.

The silence extended endlessly and Capsize knew Ia was gone. Whatever answers she had been looking for weren’t going to be given to her. Nor was the unfair punishment put on this place going to be lifted.

There was a certain numbness as she wondered what precisely she had been looking for. Whether it was answers or apologies or merely acknowledgement that wrong had been done, it seemed she was not going to get them.

So she sat for a while just wondering. She sat until day turned to evening and the sun began to set.

Then perhaps something snapped, or maybe she merely grew bored of feeling sorry for herself. She finally settled and stood up.

She walked through the halls, anxiety swirling as she questioned herself. Maybe she should keep trying for real answers from Ianite. Maybe she should threaten to give up her title unless her goddess corrected what she had done here – as much as she was quite sure Ia would see through that threat immediately.

But, if the only options she had were the same fruitless questioning she had already been doing or empty threats, she wouldn’t accomplish anything. She was just dragging herself further and further down into frustration for no gain.

If she couldn’t get Ianite to listen to her, then maybe she could at least show Sonja that she wasn’t the terrible person this curse and her goddess’ words had implied.

She needed to find her first though, a task far harder in a building so large than she gave it credit for. It at least gave her time to consider what precisely she was going to say.

By the time she found Sonja, she was absolutely certain. Though that did not stop the nerves welling up within her. She didn’t understand quite why she still felt a twinge of sickness within her as she finally found the Beast she had come to know.

She cleared her throat. Sonja stood suddenly as she realised that she was no longer alone.

The two met eyes and smiled at each other, though Capsize’s smile was noticeably smaller than it typically would be. Sonja stepped towards her hesitantly. Something had happened; she could smell it.

“Capsize, are you okay?” She asked, unable to hide the worry in her tone. She hated so much to see the bright smile wavering.

“I… I’ve been thinking since the winter solstice,” Those carefully said words were more than enough to strike fear into Sonja. She had been expecting them, obviously she had with the terrible actions of her past revealed, yet she still feared Capsize’s judgement.

More than the curse never breaking and all of them being stuck in these forms forever. More than Lady Ianite returning more wrathful than before. More than anything else at this point, she feared losing Capsize. “I think we both deserve a second chance. Would you have dinner with me tomorrow night?”

Sonja was sure that she had misheard. Even if the idea of Capsize asking did make her heartbeat faster, it surely couldn’t be reality.

However, as Capsize looked down ever so slightly, pink fleshed cheeks and smile remaining ever so nervous, Sonja realised she had heard perfectly well.

“Yes! Yes, I would lo--! Yes!” Sonja could barely contain herself as excitement flooded through her bones. She so nearly threw her arms around Capsize and spun her through the air as she was suddenly filled with energy. She thought better of it, but her wide smile and relief filled laughter were utterly infectious. Capsize swore her tail was waggling.

The excitement did not remain between them for long as news of the dinner spread throughout the castle.

It was a moment they had all been waiting for. A clear sign of closeness between the two women that meant the curse had a real chance of breaking.

Truly, it seemed now that only a few more days, and the curse would be broken.

And this hope could not come at a better time.

The rose’s petals had begun to fall with more haste. Though the fact was being kept quiet, it was likely they had only a week left at most.

Yet, the hope was so real and tangible now that it overwhelmed all doubt.

Soon enough, they would have their lives restored and this would all just be a nightmare that they had escaped.

#mianite #mianite fanfiction #cat's fanfiction #sonja firefoxx #sonja firefoxx/captain capsize #captain capsize #mianite batb au #foxxsize #lady ianite #i cannot tag this as capsize/ianite but look the vibes are kinda there

14 notes · View notes