#BIM Problems

[fangswbenefits]

Revelations

𓂅 𓄹 Summary: Miguel asked you to keep a secret, so naturally everyone is about to find out.

𓂅 𓄹 Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x spider-woman!reader

No warnings! Just a humorous drunk!reader drabble :)

“How much did she have to drink?”

“Maybe three beers?”

“Oh, she’s out of it.”

“How so?”

“She’s been tellin’ everyone she has a boyfriend.”

Jessica Drew’s eyebrows shot up. “Who?”

Hobie merely shrugged.

You threw them a death glare before trying to negotiate with Peter Parker for another bottle, but all to no avail.

“Please! Give me another one,” you whined, sitting down with a thump on the chair oposite to his. “I’m not drunk!”

“How many fingers am I holding up, then?”

You shove his hand away. “Seven… don’t be silly!”

He banged his hand on the table. “See? You have zero tolerance.”

“You have seven fingers on that hand, Jerry!”

“Who’s Jerry?”

You gasped loudly at the sight of Gwen sitting to your right. “When did you get here?”

“What? I was here the whole time.”

Peter cleared his throat. “Gwen, take a good look at her,” he mustered a serious voice. “You don’t want this to happen when you grow up.”

You leant back in your seat with a sigh of frustration. “I want Miguel.”

“Miguel… O’Hara?”

“Gwen, she’s drunk,” you heard Peter whispering.

“Hey! What did we miss?”

Miles and Pavitr nade their way through the busy crowd of fellow spiders, each holding a glass of apple juice.

“Took you some time!” Peter beamed with a wife smile, scooting to the side so they could join the group at the table. “Nice job, kids. The mission was a success.”

“Miguel seemed unimpressed,” Miles grumbled into the heel of his hand.

Peter hid a bottle away before you could snatch it from him, earning a grunt. “I’m sure he’s delighted!”

“Yeah? That’s his delighted face? Looked like someone had just threatened to break canon.”

Pavitr patted his back. “That’s just his regular face, Miles.”

“But he’s really hot…” you said dreamily with an ear-to-ear smile, leaning into Hobie’s shoulder.

Multiple pairs of eyes blinked at you.

Pavitr spoke first. “Miguel?”

Both Miles and Gwen were looking at you like you’d grown a third arm.

“Maybe we should get him here?” You heard Jess saying from behind you. “And you,” her hands gripped both your shoulders to straighten you up in your seat. “You need to sober up.”

You stuck out your tongue as the other spider-woman brought her travel watch to eye-level.

“Lyla, I’m guessing Miguel doesn’t want to come, but—”

The AI cut Jess off with a cheeky smile. “He’s on his way, actually.”

“Miguel is coming?” Peter beamed, unable to contain his excitement.

“Great!” You clapped your hands a couple of times, eager to see him.

Hobie took a sip of his drink. “Bet he’s gonna ruin the vibe.”

Miles nodded right away.

You were about to protest when a chorus of greetings from diverse spiders echoed throughout the bar.

“Evening, boss.”

“Miguel! Great to see you here tonight.”

“Howdy, boss.”

“Meow!”

He was here and once he came into your field of vision — albeit slightly blurred — you felt your heart flutter.

“Look who decided to come out of his cave,” Jess said, her lips quirking up into a smile.

“Miguel!” Peter punched his bicep playfully.

You were waving your hands enthusiastically at him. “Hiiiiii!”

But Miguel wasn’t amused.

His eyes roamed across the table.

“Who brought the beer?”

Everyone immediately pointed at Peter — you included — who was already smiling sheepishly while raising both hands in defense.

“Miguel, we’re just celebrating a successful mission and—”

“Peter, how many times must I tell you not to bring that stuff here?”

“She only had a couple of beers,” Peter replied. “It’s not that strong. I don’t thin—”

“That’s your problem! You never think,” he replied, jabbing a finger at bim.

You giggled. Miguel looked extra hot when he was pissed off. Poor Peter, though.

“Up you go,” Hobie said, hoisting you from your seat, trying his best to keep your balance. “Mind your feet.”

“Wait where are we going?”

“You need to get some fresh air,” he said, helping your arm around his neck for support. “Mr. Grumpy here is about to ruin the mood, I reckon.”

You didn’t want to leave, but figured Hobie was right. He was always right.

“Where are you going?” You heard a voice call out once you’d turned your back.

You twirled on your feet nearly tripping and knocking Hobie down in the process.

“Wait… why are there two of you?” You hiccuped.

Both Miguels arched an eyebrow simultaneously. Impeccable synchronisation. “Two of… what?”

You reached out with your hand to touch one of them but it met with nothing but air.

Huh?

“We were goin’ out for some air.”

You shook your head and the two spider-man 2099 had finally merged into one.

You fluttered your eyelashes dramatically at him. “The just one last beer… pleeeeease…”

“I really can’t do that.”

“But you can do me!” you blurted out with a wink.

Miguel pursed his lips.

Chaos immediately erupted from the bar table, causing some of the spiders nearby to shift their attention to the commotion.

“Language! There’s kids here!” Peter said, trying to cover Gwen’s ears.

“We are not kids!”

Jessica clicked her tongue. “No more drinks for you, young lady.”

“—you are still kids at heart!” Peter was now dealing three very grumpy young spiders.

Hobie, however, saluted you with a proud smile on his face. “You just left Miguel O’Hara speechless. Respect.”

You giggled at Miguel who was definitely not amused. At all.

Before your brain could process what was happening, your body was being hauled from the ground and tossed over someone’s shoulder.

“Time to go home.”

“PUT ME DOWN!” you protested, balling your fists and smashing them against a very hardened surface. “MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO DEAL WITH YOU!”

You felt your stomach lurch violently from the motion and decided to tap your webshooters in an attention to free yourself.

The result was…

“HEY! Get-get this off me!”

“I’m sorry, Pavitr!”

Your blob of web had landed on his face, sending the young spider into a frenzy as both Miles and Gwen hurried to aid him.

“Who’s the bloke, hm?” Hobie asked with a grin.

“It’s classified!”

The spider-punk scoffed. “Is that code word for ‘capitalist knobhead’?”

“Funny, ‘cause when I first met Miguel he—” Gwen started.

But was promptly cut off. “Lyla, deactive her webshooters before someone loses an eye.”

“On it, boss!”

You growled in annoyance as an orange beam hit your wrists, rendering the devices uselss. It didn’t take long before you were being dragged out of the bar, multiple spiders glaring you and whispering to each other.

“We can take her home,” Jessica offered, patting the top of your head endearingly. “It’s close by.”

“No, I’ll do it.”

Hobie seemed visibly amused. “Maybe we should wait for her boyfriend to get here.”

The big man carrying you halted his steps.

“What?”

You blinked a few times as you saw the pavement start to tilt and go into a swirl. “I’m going to fall!”

A strong arm came to wrap around your waist, keeping your firmly in place.

That was close.

“Yeah she’s been sayin’ her boyfriend’s gonna be here,” Hobie shrugged.

“She’s had too much to drink,” Peter said dismissively.

“And he is!” you snapped. “See, he’s very strong, Jerry.”

“Really?”

“He’s the strongest spider-man,” you smiled, pride evident in your voice. “Very handsome…”

The spiders in front of you exhanged confused looks and as the motion resumed, your insides flipped momentarily.

“He’s really big, too…”

Jess spoke this time. “Big? As in… tall?”

You nodded. “Right! But also… his dic—”

“Enough!”

“Bloody hell…”

“Woah!” Jess gasped.

Miles, Pavitr, and Gwen, on the other hand, were having the time of their lives.

“Miguel’s face!” Gwen chuckled as Miles leaned on her shoulder fighting back the tears.

Oh. Right.

Miguel was the one carrying you…

Peter was absolutely scandalised, urging them back inside. “Let’s finish our apple juice,” Peter called, ruffling Pavitr’s hair. “I have these amazing photos of Mayday to show!”

None of the budged, though, enjoying the show.

“Real shame your boyfriend isn’t here to witness this,” Hobie said.

You grinned. “But he is! Right here!” you accentuated each word with a pat between Miguel’s shoulderblades.

“Ah, knew she was talking gibberish,” Hobie clicked his tongue.

Jess came to take a look at Miguel’s face. “I… don’t think she is.”

“Well! What a fun night,” Peter said in his usual cheerful voice.

“Wait… WHAT?!” Gwen and Pavitr half-yelled in unison.

Miguel let out growl. “Go back inside. We’ll talk about the next mission tomorrow.”

“But—”

He turned to face them, which had you clamp one hand on your mouth from the turbulence.

All three of them rushed back inside with Peter following closely behind.

“No wonder you showed up for once,” Jess said adjusting her glasses.

“Please… don’t start,” Miguel sighed. “Especially you.”

Hobie adjusted a couple of pins on his vest. “Chill, bro.”

“Say bye-bye,” Miguel said, tapping the back of your thighs.

You waved your hand clumsily at them. “Byeeee!”

Both of them returned the gesture, chuckling.

In no time, you felt yourself being hurled into the night sky across the tall buildings that covered the landscape of Nueva York.

The cool air and silence allowed the realisation to suddenly dawn on you as Miguel carried you effortlessly with each swing of his web, red glow flashing around you.

Fuck…

“They all know, don’t they…” you mumbled into his embrace when he made a quick stop at a rooftop.

“Yes.”

“Sorry, Miguel…” you hiccuped.

He pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “It was only a matter of time, I suppose.”

You curled up against him, cheek resting on his shoulder as he heaved a deep sigh and ran one hand along your back in a loving caress.

He had wanted it to be a secret mostly because he feared others might see it as a liability. After all, as long as he put up a front that he had nothing to lose, then it would be a great asset to have in this line of work.

Or so he thought.

Feeling the pounding headache brewing inside your head, you merely groaned into the crook of his neck.

Masterlist

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

Listen,,, all it sounds like to me is that Riz and Adaine need to declare Fabian their nemesis and their financial problems are solved. Does Chungledown Bim also get money? Yes. But that's the price of helping your friends get into college.

[w1shb0n3z]

Alright, so hear me out

(this is another long one. Like. Seriously. It has 2.6k words.)

*yes, I edited this like 5 mins after I posted it just to add some more, oops

Post cannon Labru where Laios tries to help Kabru regain weight

TW: ED, Body Dysmorphia, Fat-phobia, Gender Dysphoria

It turns out to he a huge body image thing. Like Kabru develops a bit of an ED after he gains his weight back and tries to stay "the perfect weight" and major body dysmorphia. But! It's very sweet because hand feeding, of course, and self-acceptance.

I imagine Kabru's blue eyes get brought up when Laios is like "oh, you don't like that about yourself? :( you're so wonderful! What else could you possibly not like! Surely not those eyes ^^" or something

Plus! I'm 98% sure that Laios gains some weight post cannon, so his wrestler build gets softer, which, yay! We love that here! But this comes with its positives and negatives. (Dont he scared by how big the negative paragraph is)

Positive: Kabru has an example of having a healthy relationship with yourself and your body

Negatives (and hold on) TW btw: at a certain point of Kabru's weight gain/ body acceptance journey, where he gets obsessed with keeping "the perfect body" and does everything in his power not to gain anymore, his own twisted view of himself spills over to Laios. He starts to view Laios as a sort of slob or careless person because he gained weight after the dungeon and gained an extra 5-ish pounds while helping Kabru gain. Because Laios can and will encourage Kabru to eat by eating with him with a smile on his face.

What if someone finds out about Kabru's purging?

Yes, Kabru has purged a few times while he was at his lowest. And no, Laios doesn't catch him in the act. He doesn't know until someone tells him about it. Kabru just keeps it to himself with a tinge of guilt. Someone else finds out. I can't decide who yet, but if it were:

Chilchuck - he'd be familiar with his topic because one of his daughters went through the same thing. He keeps secret as per Kabru's request but gives to Kabru straight. He tells him vomiting hat much rots your teeth and only has negative impacts in the future. With Chil being big and tall for his race's standards and him canonically watching his own weight, he talks Kabru through this whole body image thing. Maybe not in the exact way Kabru wants, but in the way he needs

Senshi - he's SO against this. He tries to father Kabru, but his own lack of understanding for why Labru feels this way gets in the way of progress. He urges Kabru to eat and tells Laios what's goin on in hopes of figuring out what all of this is about, accidentally spilling the beans and leading to conflict between Laios and Kabru

Marcille - she doesn't really get the ED thing, but she gets not liking your body (since she never fit in with her "age group" while growing up and wished she physically presented like them). She also tells Kabru that throwing up rots his teeth and says it's bad for your mana and junk. Shes very offput by this whole thing, but she tries. She doesn't tell Laios...on purpose. (Falin also finds out becuase the guilt Marcille has from telling that secret ears her alive)

Falin - my girl does NOT understand. But she's here to empathize. She ends up being huge in Kabru's healing journey. She tries to check in on bim every now and then and uses her own transformation to promote body acceptance

Izutsumi - she doesn't know what to do. She's 17 goddamn it. So when she hears Kabru throwing up she just assumes he's sick, but when she keeps hearing it she gets a little stressed about him. She goes "he's just weird" and mentions it in conversation to someone else, most likely Marcille (which probably led to Marcille finding out in the earlier paragraph)

Mickbell...somehow - is like "dude wtf" and tells Rin about it since he knows there close. He's worried, yeah, but he doesn't think its really his problem. Especially since the two fo them aren't close like that.

Kuro - he finds out and tells Rin as well, he also tells Kabru that he looks fine. He mentions it to Mickbell, yeah, but in a "Will he be okay? :(" way

Rin - devastated. She initially gives Kabru a hard talk...which makes him worse, but hey! She tried. Rin then thinks its becuase of the shame of dying many times and tries to comfort Kabru again. Doesn't work. She tries to get him to eat the things he likes. He eats them, but she can sense the guilt from Kabru. They then have a heart to heart becuase Rin can't stand to see her best friend suffer like this and assures him that he looks fine as often as he needs

Holm - he takes a simular approach as Falin but gets a little more involved. He understands it on paper, but can't image what actually having these issues is like. Yes, he also informs Rin and is the one that told her to try to speak to Kabru in a less...prickly manner about this touchy subject

Daya - She doesnt realise what Kabru was trying to achieve by puking. So she just advises him not to do so and tells Rin about the strange behavior.

How does this affect non-platonic Labru?

Easy!

Well for starters! If they were boning before, they aren't now LMAO

Partly because of Kabru's own body image being trash and his attraction to Laios (temporarily) going to shit after Laios gained some weight to encourage Kabru. Damn that internalized fat-phobia. Neither one of them seems to have a clue what's going on. Let word, seems.

Kabru knows his view of Laios just isn't the same, but he doesn't let it be known that he's aware of this.

Does he feel bad? Yeah. But he only feels bad because he doesn't feel bad. He feels as though he's a shitty boyfriend for harboring such disgust for his partner's figure

Laios catches Kabru stealing glances at himself in the mirror. Staring just a little too long. Laios deduces that Kabru's feeling a little self-conscious after some hard thought.

So, of course, he makes sure to be extra careful about his words. He'd totally be like that one meme (which I can't find) that goes: "damn girl, that ass is wide" "what??" "I didn't want to say fat and trigger your eating disorders :/"

Plus, on the not boning thing, they're busy. You got a king and his advisor, they're not gonna be cranking it up every night! They simply sleep together, in a literal sense most nights anyways, so more sleep isn't anything bad

Additionally, I don't believe Laios has a high sex drive at all. (I personally think he's on the asexual spectrum, maybe because I'm ace, but still)

Kabru won't initiate a thing at the moment, it's up to Laio's sporadic desires to get things going. (It never gets going)

What if Laios discovers Kabru's feelings towards him and the purging?

He's hurt, simply put. He can't understand why Kabru dislikes his body, Laios can't understand why his own body would be such a turn off now.

In the non-platonic vers Laios tries to become "sexy" again. ....He fails horribly and ends up making a fool out if himself. At first he's like, "well monsters do this to attract mates" right after he feels as though he needs to inprove upon himself. Then he goes "no... Kabru isnt a monster, and im not either (unfortunately)"

He pushes that silly thought aside and tries to find out *why* Kabru is turned off by his looks now. His face? No.. His hair? Just got it cut. His figure? ...but why?

Laios goes right up to Kabru and confronts him about it. Kabru being the slippery bitch that he is denies it and goes "lol wtf haha! I luv u bae and there's nothing wrong with u!! ur so sexy and hot haha..."

This, inevitably, confused the shit out of Laios and he asks for honesty. Kabrus actions aren't exactly aligning with his words, and something needs to he done.

[Okay, let's be real here. If Kabru didn't want Laios to know how he felt, Laios' ass would NOT know lmao. This is just for the bit]

Now the purging? Laios is like "dude what? :(" he doesn't understand it. Nope. Not at all. He tires to he supportive, but he really doesn't know what to do with this. It's not like there's a bulimia monster, so he has no real frame of reference.

He's all "but you look fine how you are :(" and "I like the weight on you!" or even "did you know that [this species of monster] finds fat attractive? ,:D"

He means so so well, and Karbu knows it. Laios really is just a dog of a man.

Laios also tries to get Kabru to promise to stop. We know how that went. Karbu agreeing just to do it behind Laios' back because he knows Laios won't find out. He'll cut back on it, yeah, but he has his weak moments.

Eventually, Laios makes sure to only have Kabru serve his favorite meals. That should keep him from puking it up! And Karbu stops after a while. But only because his health is on the decline.

What else?

Two words: hand. feeding.

Kabru throws up? He gets his favorite meals so he won't. Kabru keeps checking his figure? Less mirrors in the caslte and more compliments. Kabru not eating enough or skipping meals? Simple. Laios makes sure he eats.

And how? A little less of Laios sensually slipping a fork full of decedent chocolate cake past Kabru's lips and a little more than a simple "here comes the airplane"

It starts off as Laios seeing Kabru taking smaller bites and being like "oh! Let me show you how to fill your fork! ^^" and then him taking Kabru's fork, impaling a bunch of assorted foods onto said fork, then handing it back to Kabru.

Then it sort of devolved (...evolved?) Into Kabru begrudgingly letting Laios feed him like a toddler while no one else ot looking. My boy Kabru does NOT know how to say no to this autistic man properly.

Laios was like "would it help if I just fed you?" And karbu replied something like "haha! It just might!" And of course Laios did not pick up on that God level sarcasm and went "cool, Let's try it then" and Kabru, wanting to appease Laios said "cool!". Bro was punching air.

(Yes, Laios said stuff like "good job buddy!" "You're doing so well!" "Its tasty, right?" Almost every bite)

In the non-platonic world, Laios would have Karbu sit ever so close to him as he was fed, maybe even in his lap. And of course Karbu would get a peck on the cheek after every bite. And the whole process may or may not turn Laios on. Especially when they're dining on monster. Whoops.

....anything else?

This all ties in with the absurd standards that was set for Karbu and the insecurities he hides within himself.

The whole blue-eye-spawn-of-a-demon thing was already enough for him. But being raised by that moody ass elf was a whole nother thing.

Milsiril, his adoptive elf mom, raises children like she has a monopoly in daycares. She's a serial foster fr. All them damn kids. Raising them like pets becuase you want something to love and depend on you. (I love Milsiril btw)

Anyways.

Kabru was his mom's favorite since his features were unique. Im talkin big bright blue eyes contrasting with rich dark skin, in particular. Plus, he was so sociable! All of his siblings looked up to him in one way or another. He was the star child.

And, you know that thing about elves being twinks, right? When ever Milsiril would check up on Karbu's health, she would use this old elven chart depicting the "average/desirable/suggested" height, weight, and muscle tone for diffrent short-lived races at diffrent ages/stages of life.

Safe to say these charts and texts were based off of elven standards, so everyone was thought to be slimmer, lighter, and more toned than normal. Plus, they're old lol. Instead of updating her charts and buying some from the diffrent cultures and races, she keeps her old one becuase she legit just forgets to replace it and hasn't had any "major problems" while raising her kids with that information so she doesn't think to change it.

What in trying to say is!

Kabru was raised with unrealistic body goals, and when he used to deviate from those arbitrary statistics during childhood he'd be put on diets and stuff.

Also, What if Kabru was transmasc?

Especially when he was a teen, even gaining a little wait made him go nuts. He couldn't get the words "unhealthy" out of his head and started associating it with the word "fat". His mind likes to play tricks on him when he's in the mirror. Exaggerating his figure and making him panic.

So! When he was sick and tired after that weird ass dungeon trip that changed his whole world and he came back to find himself thin as a pin, he tweaked.

He logically hated it because it was unhealthy, but a part of him was satisfied. With the added stress of becoming a Kings advisor, he started to crack under the pressure, manifesting in an obsession with himself. When he started to gain weight back he was brought right back to those check ups he had with Milsiril and those 2, maybe 3 times he was put onto diets in his youth. He really feared he was getting fat and he would just stare into the mirror and feel his flesh beneath his fingertips, searching for some sort of confirmation. All he felt was a bit of a squish, a bit of a give, and that's all he needed.

It was too much for him. His body was wrecked in his eyes. He's supposed to he fit and lean and thin and perfect. How could that be perfect? He looks in the mirror in his private study, wasting the time he could've been spending planning new city infrastructure or working out the kinks in trade. But no. He's here, in his dimly lit room, looking at how imperfect he's become in his eyes. How unhealthy he is his mom's eyes. How disgusting he is in his birth mothers eyes.

He had to fix it. The wound rubs deep, dar past the dermis. And, I guess, much like other wounds that cut a chasm into the skin, you don't really feel it once it severs your nerves. You don't really notice until you see the big, gaping, bleeding, notch where you used to be.

Lol anyways

Whoo boy. He is in hell. He feels like gaining weight makes him look "softer" and more feminine. He hates it, yes. But he tries his best not to let it effect his wardrobe. This whole weight journey really rehydrated his gender dysphoria.

He's used to looking a little androgynous, but with his new weight going to his stomach, hips, and thighs, he just feels as though his silhouette is becoming more girly.

Kabru is found training and working out more. Anything to get his body more boxy again.

He spends more time making sure he looks presentable. Even waking up a little earlier to ensure he vouge cover ready. (Well, I mean, as vouge ready as perpetual business casual can be)

And how does it end?

It takes some time, but Kabru heals. He's 10 pounds heavier than when we were first introduced to him, but he doesn't mind anymore.

It was a long journey full of all sorts of denail and shame, but he got there.

He's still the Light Yagami coded perfect chivalrous boy. He always has been. And Laios loves him all the same. Platonically or not.

Laios was essential in Karbu learning to let go of those impossible ideal and unreachable standards. Laios does not give a fuck afterall, he thinks all human bodies are unintresting beautiful! That dude does not judge. Rember him talking about the orc women in one of the monster tidbit sections? He's about body acceptance and neutrality.

Kabru grew to love his body, not just tolderate it or like it because someone else does. And if it tickles you, he liked the extra pounds Laios gained in the end, too. And if you're here for non-platonic Labru, then Laios may have became a bit of a feeder and has a tiiiiny food kink. Plus, Laios is a huge fan of the squish and Kabru likes how warm Laios is.

I just want to add this in here, also hecuase ive seen it before and i agree, but Laios seems like the type to give dutch ovens. He shows love like a big brother and its horrible (affectionate). This passes Karbu off SO BAD and it's hilarious. He has to sit down and have a very direct and serious talk about "getting too comfortable". And Laios would sit there the entire time like a sad dog and nod along.

Kabru and Laios also wrestle. No debate. They do it to spar, Laios does it for fun, Kabru does it to make Laios shut up. It's great!

Sorry this took so long lmao,, I legit just kept forgetting to write this

This was just word vomit. I've lost the plot somewhere along the way, I fear

[artificergorgug]

Been thinking a lot about how Fabian uses the word triggering. He uses it in reference to the sexy rat, to the term 'turncoat', and (i believe) about Chungledown Bim

And he says it like a joke, right? Like the point is that Lou is making a joke because haha a sexy rat and a mirror abandoning Fabian and a funny-named gnome that wants to shit in his mouth are all funny concepts so why shoudn't it be funny that they're traumatizing

Except, I think Fabian is using that term earnestly. I think he is genuinely upset by how a sexy rat wanted to violate him in the nightmare forest and that in order for him to progress he had to lay down and give coerced consent to it

I think he is deeply hurt by people he loves leaving him. Sure, this time it's a mirror being a 'turncoat', but it's also his mom going on vacation with Gilear. And thinking about how Fabian interacts with Cathilda, treats her like a parent and a caregiver, you have to think that his dad was at the very least emotionally unavailable (if not physically so) and we all know about his mom's sensory deprivation egg

I think Chungledown Bim terrifies him in ways he can't articulate. The representation of how he's fallen short of his father's legacy persuing him endlessly. Being given spells and wealth and access by his devil father. Tracking him down to degrade him in an extremely visceral way

Fabian says that things are triggering with a smile on his face and a laugh in his voice. He's learned that saying the uncomfortable thing means money being thrown at a problem. He's learned that you're supposed to distance yourself from your feelings, to self-medicate

He doesn't have the skills or the practice to tell his friends in all seriousness that the things they say bother him. Remind him of his hardest days - in Leviathan, the Nightmare Forest, the Red Waste

And the part that hurts the most is that if he had this earnest conversation, his friends would be there. They'd respect him. Maybe help him unlearn some of the lessons that have shaped this ineffective request for help in the first place

But he doesn't ask and he says it as a joke and they hear it as a joke and nobody heals

[chungledown-bimothy]

Top 5 most memorable NPCs? Aka the ones that keep you up at night?

(if you need it to be a bit easier you can do 5 funniest and 5 most horrifying/scary?)

just 5 is more of a challenge, let's go with that ^_^ they're extremely cold takes, but it is what it is.

1- Caramelinda. I genuinely have lost sleep thinking about her. Brennan once said about Steel WWWO that the problem is that she's in a game of dungeons and dragons. This fits Caramelinda as well, I think. So she's doomed by both the narrative and the very nature of the universe. She was repeatedly dealt some of the worst hands imaginable, but she had to keep standing tall. I could keep going.

2- Chungledown Bim. He's a level 20 warlock built specifically to be very very good at shitting in mouths. I think Cassandra wasn't lying- I think he really was in the forest by his own power. His greasy pelican familiar is named Upchungle.

3- Calroy Cruller. I have his monologue from ep 9 memorized. He bided his time for twenty fucking years without a moment's suspicion. He got the most narratively satisfying ending of all time.

4- Wuvvy. Where to start with Wuvvy. The tragic secondary lead of a romcom, without the consolation relationship. Eternal devotion, leaving everything and everyone she knew, to be with Rue, repaid with them telling her someone else made them feel really seen for the first time. I so desperately wanted to know more about what she was doing at the party with Apollo or in the many other places she seemed to have no reason to be, but Rue was too caught up with other things for it to have made sense for Oscar to follow up with that. Oscar's initial plan was a Rue/Wuvvy romance, but then Brennan did That.

5- Garthy O'Brien. Smash.

[yellow-hollow]

Does the host ever ask for help from other egos to help change his bandages ?

Host is rather self conscious about his condition and prefers to tend to his bandages by himself. Unfortunately for him, the bleeding rate is based on physical/mental exertion which he is a terrible judge of or he simply doesn’t notice lol. Dr. Iplier, Bing, and Google are the most likely to notice/help him out since preventing harm is part of their job/programming. Others are too spooked by Host to say anything, or don’t think the bleeding is a problem like this hungry Bim

[whataboutsimple]

Simple AUs

Or AUs I have idea of, but will never work on. Feel free to use them if you wish to!

1. Villain!Olivia AU or what happens when nerd's idol dies.

Concept is rather simple: after Ellegaard's death Olivia looses it and uses 100% of her brain power to build a "perfect world" where no one will die ever again. Expect for those who won't elaborate of course..

During the WitherStorm she gets into tracker bim for too long and gets withersickennes. Of course she won't tell anyone to not cause any panic. They already have sick Petra, no one should be paying attention to her.

Jesse decides to go and look for Magnus, but why? They need someone smart, someone intelligent, not a walking craze creeper man! Argh, Jesse always took Axel's said.

No- no, no, nonononono- Jesse can't take Ellegaard armor! She finally found someone who understands her passion for redstone, she can't loose her!

What.. what do you mean they lied? What- N-no.. sh-.. no. S-shE coulDn't! SHe diDN't LIE! THAT'S CAN'T BE-

The storm defeated, but her sickness didn't fade away. Ah, might as well make some upgrades for her arm..

Now, now Jesse, don't be so scared- let's work together! Trust me, this.. machine won't let anyone get hurt anymore!

Well, it could've gone better. But, ah, at least now no one can get in my way.

Notes: Olivia got her hand replaced with mechanisms, she got Jesse killed, she uses the same concept as "PAMA" — chiping people to use them.

2. Sky city death AU.

Concept: Instead of landing in the lake, like Jesse normally should, they are too slow to react properly and won't make it in time.

Lukas saw it with his own eyes. He saw Jesse landing to the ground. He saw their inventory laying around like it was a pile of trash.

Even with broken arm Lukas manages to get himself and the Founder back to Sky City. Petra and Ivor are happy until they get the news.

It can't be, right? It's Jesse. They always make it out! Or maybe not this time..

Blaze Rods got arrested and putted in jail until the group will find a way to their home. Lukas won't leave them here. He'll come back and take them to the court back in BeaconTown. He'll do anything to get them pay.

Now the problem is: how will they get back? Without Jesse it's gonna be hard for sure..

Petra and Ivor can't get everyone in the mansion trust them enough, so they make decisions. Lukas almost died from White Pumpkin. They barely made it out alive from the Mansion.

No one made alive from the Mansion expect for them. Cassie Rose got the flint, so now they can only follow her through the portal.

Who can keep Petra sane? She's too irritated and Lukas is no better: he saw his friend's death for fuck sakes! Ivor already saw such tension between Order members.. Old Order members.

They are no match to PAMA. Ivor physically can't do everything alone what Jesse did. Is it the end?

Notes: Lukas arm became useless right after they left Sky City, everyone from the Mansion Episode died expect for the group and Cassie Rose, Cassie Rose managed to escape before main group.

3. Long live the king AU.

Concept: Aiden and Jesse swap places, but keep their original characters. It's hard, but everyone tries their best.

Aiden is noisy and bit of a dumbass.. but they love him, though it's hard sometimes. He doesn't know any limits without them, so it's like controlling an angry pug.

They never understood why he was so rude to Jesse. They were nothing but kind and patient! They even kept Maya and Gill in place. Aiden still didn't like them somewhy.

Okay, this time he got too far. How could he put other people in danger? How could he hurt poor pig? They need to talk and now! Winning ain't worth it!

He promised to apologize. Okay, at least they knew he kept his promises.

Oh, uh, since when Petra and him are friends? Okay, nevermind, she needs help - they will help. Still though last time they checked Petra wasn't a big fan of Aiden's behavior..

What is thing thing?! How are they supposed to defeat it? What are they gonna do? What- wait, Aiden is a good leader actually when it's comes to stress situations.

Okay, maybe they can handle it. If only he could stop throwing those dirty looks at Jesse everytime they do anything..

Notes: Olivia and Axel tries their best to deal with Aiden's behavior, though it can be hard sometimes.. Aiden saved Jesse from tracker bin since they were the closest to him instead of Petra or Gabriel, we will learn through the story how angry gremlin can actually be a good character without erasing his gremlin side.

That's my Top3 for today, guys! Feel free to ask anything you want or use the ideas.

[kai-anderson-whore]

The evans (what they're like drunk)

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

Tate Langdon:

okay so I feel like tate would be so fun to get drunk with

•until he thinks of something sad then your his shoulder to cry on

•you'll probably end up crying too

•but besides that he'll play nirvana on repeat and will make you dance with him to about a girl

•you will definitely make out at Somepoint during the night

•that's the type of friendship you both have

Kit Walker:

•now kit is a pretty relaxed when he drinks which in my mind is probably like a few beers at night once the kids are asleep

•I'd imagine him with a record on probably elvis or sinatra sitting on his chair with you in one arm a cold beer in the other

•he'd be more loving when he has a drink or two in him placing kisses on your shoulders telling you sweet nothings

•just blissful

Kyle spencer post- death:

•now as we all know Kyle is a frat boy so he'd be a mess if he's completely hammered

•but he's the responsible one so that doesn't happen often

•he'd make sure your safe and that his frat brothers don't do stupid things

•but if he get so drunk he'd be like "y/n do you know how much I love your cute face" with smoochy lips 😘😘

Jimmy darling:

•we've seen it in the show he has his moment when he's drinking

•like tate one minute he can be happy singing songs that pop into his head without a care In the would to being all sad or angry if its missing his mother or just something stupid that pissed him off

•his hands will be all over you without a doubt he's a horny drunk

•you would tell him no if you are sober but if you drank with him then your going at it all night let's just say

James patrick march:

•Now as we all know james likes his whisky and absinthe and being dead he could literally drink anyone under the table

•he doesn't get wasted probably thinks it's distasteful but he did a few times before and let's just say he's a helpless romantic even drunk

•would literally shower you with live and affection and if you don't let him he's a whiny bitch

•"darling What's the matter please hug me" "James you reek of booze" "this is an outrage"

Rory monaghan:



•Rory will bombard all his social media platforms with videos of a night out like he would post every detail of the night

•instantly regrets it in the morning when he's hungover

•will definitely do weird dad dances and would want you to join him so he's not alone

•I feel like he's the type of drunk that would need to be on one of those backpacks kids have so they don't run away because the second your eyes leave him he's off and it will take ages to find him

•he would be one of those drunks that ask so many weird questions no one knows the answer to like "how are humans actually put on this earth it doesn't make sence"

(Kai Anderson)



•Now kai would stop drinking because he needs to stay sharp for the cult but if he's having a very bad day he would drink his problems away or fuck his stress out of you

•he's an angry drunk for sure would constantly snap at anyone in sight and throw glasses in the room

•if your there you could possibly calm bim down sometimes it's a no go but you try your best

•would definitely try and get into your panties but you say no because well he's drunk but kai is consistent and will not take no for a answer

(Jeff pfister)



•Jeff wouldn't drink since he's always off his tits with the coke but he might mix them both on occasion

•he would blackout not remember a single thing at all

•probably would make out with mutt since he's completely wasted

•would wake up the next morning with mutt not remembering a thing which freaks him out because he could had probably committed a crime and he wouldn't know but you were there the next morning with a photo gallery full of videos from the night before

(Austin sommers)



•Now we all know austin likes his alcohol but he also likes to still be fully aware of what's going on around him

•but once in a blue moon he would get hammered which he would never be away from karaoke singing all the cheesy hits like cotton eye Joe or barbie girl

•once your both home he would ask you to pamper him with face masks and what not, so you both lay on the bed with a face mask on some more whisky laughing and joking (I think this could be a fic?)

[ninelivesastrology]

There's something very dangerous about being a BIWOC and being under surveillance by non-Black people because they're projecting their nature onto you and here's why...

tw: racial fetishization, stereotypes, rape, dehumanization, femicide, misogynoir, internal misogyny, hybristophilia

It ties into this thing where you see non-BIWOC say crazy shit, "I want someone obsessed with me, I want to be stalked," and when it happens to a BIWOC they don't believe is attractive or is worthy of "attention," they turn green with envy. Now you're a liar. Or if you're not lying, you deserved it. Doesn't matter if you're lying on an autopsy table, you deserved it.

It's a sick reality that Indigenous American and Black females experience sex crimes and femicide at such a high degree to the point I would say we're hunted for sport. That is the very end result of dehumanization. It's a strange mix of denial and anger non-Black and non-Indigenous American women to be hateful towards us for what is clearly sexually and racially motivated crimes.

My ex friend/Spiritual abuser wasn't even American, was white and obsessed with Black culture and claiming Australian Aboriginal (sure, Jan) because it's closer to Black (?), so this is not even an American problem. It's really a lesser known effect of the fetishization of darker skin and Indigenous women.

It comes across as, "Why are you the victim and not me?" As if BIWOC get to be victims anyway, lucky enough to be literal survivors.

I sort of blame True Crime culture, but we all know about the erasure of BIWOC cases. Even the non-BIPOC victims are erased because of the rampant hybristophilia that goes hand in hand with male sex offenders. As an extension, I blame the depraved hybristophilic sexual fantasies of non-BIWOC women that end up violently projected onto victims who are hypersexualized based off their race. I know this one firsthand because of my abuser.

Seems like everyone wants to be kidnapped or held captive for sexual gratification because in their minds, rape is about being wanted, so they think coming forward about it is seeking attention, saying that you were wanted so badly that someone couldn't "control" themselves, but really, it's a projection of a sexual fantasy.

How many of these behaviors have roots in Transatlantic Slave Trade and the genocide of Indigenous Americans?

Like they love rapists and murderers and get off on it... I wouldn't doubt that hybristophilia leads women to pursue BIM(en)OC because of the stereotypes (physically and sexually violent, thieves, thugs, etc) attached to them. That's the sex positivity people ask for. Harming no one...

And that's why feminism fails at the end of the day because you can't really claim to be an ally for someone you're dehumanizing at the end of the day.

[doctordiscord123]

Ooooh for requests: It's very early into their relationship and Google wants to cuddle and be all lovey dovey but the ✨genius super computer✨can't figure out how to ask So in a moment of ✨sheer brilliance✨ he kisses another ego to make Bing jealous and initiate. Truly the shoving a square peg into a round hole of problem solving all true RomComs strive for.

Google was...

What did Bing like to say?

Trying his best.

They'd only been dating a few months now, but really...hardly anything had changed about their dynamic. If anything, Bing seemed even more flustered and nervous around him, and barely seemed capable of even touching Google, let alone initiating anything romantic or heaven forbid sexual. Sure, when Google initiated, gave him a little kiss or even just praised his work, Bing responded well. But he was getting a little tired of dancing around the subject, waiting for Bing to catch up.

So he went to the internet.

And what came up as a great motivator was jealousy.

Google could do jealousy.

So he waited. Waited for his moment, biding his time, until the perfect moment. It was just him and Bing in the living room, Bing watching some reality show while Google tinkered with a small project across his lap. They weren't touching, and it made Google twitch a little with irritation. Surely he wasn't that scary to his boyfriend of all beings. But when he'd gently touched Bing's thigh, rested his hand there a moment, Bing had sparked so violently and flushed such a bright shade of orange, Google had thought he'd broken something. So, no touching.

For now.

Just his luck, the next ego to walk in had been Bim. A more ideal option than some of the others. Bim wasn't paying attention to either of them, talking on the phone and seeming to want to head straight through the living room and into the kitchen.

Google didn't plan on letting him get that far.

Standing up, he carefully moved his project and all the spare pieces to the couch, walked over, grabbed Bim by the collar, and kissed him.

Bim practically shrieked, floundering in his iron grasp, before eventually managing to pull away once Google felt sufficient time had passed. "What the fuck, Google?!" He glanced at his phone, at the now hung-up call, and swore violently. "Great, Alice is going to kill me --" He stormed off immediately, forgetting whatever he was going to do in the kitchen, and already tapping away at his phone.

Google thought it was going to work. In fact, he was smirking when he turned to look at Bing. But then he saw Bing's face...how his boyfriend looked closer to being heartbroken and in tears rather than jealous...and something inside Google twisted up, circuits tangling in knots as it finally got through his supercomputer of a brain that he might've fucked up.

"Bing, I --"

Bing didn't say a word, just stood, and walked out of the room, shoving past Google with a barely disguised sob as the tears started falling. Google grimaced, running a hand through his hair, and swore under his breath.

Fuck.

[dimension20npcofalltime]

My Favourite Tags of Round One

#i dont know who tom thumb is#sorry to this man#but gilear deserves this

#Gilear is literally the NPC#the bad kids saw a sopping wet pathetic man (derogatory) and said can we keep him#brennan tried to kill him at every opportunity but this man is somehow still alive#his stats are terrible#he has like 5 hp#he loves yogurt#lou chanted big money no gilears one time#gilear faeth for the win

#shes always pissing

#that lunatic is after fabian and will shit in his mouth

#im so sorry Primsy#but Chungledown bim holes a special place in my heart#and my mouth

#laertes has to win#hes the first npc shit himself on screen

#wuvvy sweep bc god forbid women cause problems in public for her beloved friend

#PLEASE VOTE WUVVY. MORALLY GRAY GIRLBOSS OF ALL TIME

#everyone who voted pizza rat over jessa is a liar and a coward

#aelwyn is so my older sister to me

#everyone give it up for the most stylish of homies#john feathers

#why you gotta pit two bad bitches against each other

#lesbians get in here

#LESBIANS PLEASE. GET IN HERE AND VOTE CITRINA

#LESBIANS WE STILL HAVE TIME TO MAKE THIS A CITRINASWEEP

#YES LESBIANS YES!!!!! WE’RE DOING IT!!!!!!#KEEP VOTING CITRINA I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU

#ylfa: join us I like your hat#orange fairy: it’s your hat now I’mma die kthxbai

#I love cats but I love Ayda more

#BELIZABETH BC SHES A GAY ICON (to ME)

#no disrespect to the sentient basketball but LETS GO LESBIANS

#ragh <3 he’s just a guy <3 and he’s GAY

#voting plug for the pure mechanical achievement of believably putting a kooky old wizard in a scifi setting

#wow nobody watched coffin run huh?#like i get that plug is very funny but dimitri is just a pile of absurdities#hes a bat in a sailor costume with a lisp and he is so hagard from flying constantly for his job that he has a starbucks half his scenes#wven tho as mentioned he is terrible at said job and almost intentionally does it wrong??

#i get it plug is funny but hes literally an anthropomorphic bat in a sailors boy outfit with a lisp who drinks starbucks

#NO SONDHEIM#STEPHEN SONDHEIM IS ONE OF THE BEST GAGS AND NPCS IN D20 I LOVE ZELDA TOO BUT COMEON GUYS SONDHEIM

#i emotionally need stephen sondheim to sweep#pls can we get a stephen sondheim sweep

[pronoun-checks]

hello, I hope you haven't done this before and I'm sorry if you have but right now I'm looking for some scenemo-esque names and pronouns. Preferably neutral-ish names that may lean towards masc or fem. Just your typical raver, scene trash type names. I'm also kinda looking for some more bimbo-esque names and pronouns as well, if that's okay w/ you. The bimbo themed ones can lean towards more fem, idrc.

Thank you so much if you happen to complete this.

No problem!

Names:

Havoc

Neon/Neo

Alyx/Alix

Kandi/Candy

Echo

Glitch

Spike

Shock

Zero

Ghost

Ash

River/Ryver

//

Heaven

Brittany

Candy

Blake

Paris

Crystal/Krystal

Bunny

Pronouns:

kandi/kandiself

rave/raveself

neon/neonself

glow/glowself

glo/gloself

light/lightself

dance/danceself

pink/pinkself

scene/scenes

rawr/rawrself

XD/XDself

dino/dinoself

sticker/stickerself

stick/sticker/stickers/stickers/stickerself

skull/skullself

sparkle/sparkleself

spark/sparkle/sparkles/sparkles/sparkleself

club/clubself

sugar/sugarself

party/partyself

vibe/vibeself

//

bimbo/bimboself

bim/bimbo/bimbos/bimbos/bimboself

blonde/blondeself

ditzy/ditzyself

[plumbogs]

yay the sorority pictures are up :)

they also go to class in the morning. that dormie is just punching the air for some reason.

She's graduating :) before she throws a party she invites her boyfriend over to hang out and get her aspiration all full. Not that it matters much, since she's probably having an inevitable future as a townie unless they prove fun to play, but we'll see.

I start applying halloween costumes but then the party starts and everyone puts on formal clothes anyway. aside from a few guests. who cares. they start the dancing right away.

she quite literally slept through her whole graduation party. that's okay do what feels right. she did turn off the music before her nap and saved us from slap dance hell.

unfortunately a new hell broke out because lucy doubled down on her cheating + homewrecking combo. i forgot about that. desdemona wasn't around to stop her for some reason. i think she left because benedick was bullying her. who knows. either way, this is a problem we won't deal with until next round.

great... great. at least something interesting happened during the party. It ended just fine and everyone was sent home after Tracy graduated and moved out.

Cassidy, a former dormie, is going as famous model actress occult icon mysterious disappearance victim Bella Goth herself. she's a cheap imitation of the real thing and bought the costume at a Spirit Halloween that took over the empty shell of the local orphanage after it closed down. fortunately, they simply hired in the orphans as employees, so nothing really changed except for the new sale of tacky halloween decor.

bottom is absolutely killing it as a goth bat. even if her wig is goofy.

beatrice is a vampire as well.

Bim, the final dormie-turned-sister, is a haunted doll type of thing. also courtesy of Spirit Halloween.

note: this stupid sims blog is in no way related to or endorsed by Spirit Halloween or any costume retailer company any resemblance to real costumes is purely coincidental. or something like that idk i don't care

[lizzorasaurus]

@gaymergoose - 19 (with 15 total? to confirm) Moira Lattro - GC- Drow - Cleric (Desnan) Magnimar Based one-shot, reappearing NPC in my Rise of the Runelords run. Born and raised in (under?) Kaer Maga and became a Desnan cleric after falling in love with the night sky and the freedom it brings. Has absolutely piss-poor luck and a gambling problem. and Paloma Wainwright - (??)- Bard - Human On deck for War for the Crown! Bard-bie. Bim-bard. Got into a prestigious bard college (What, like it's hard?) and definitely acts dumber than she is as a way to throw people off! Inspiration for the character includes Elle Woods (Legally Blonde) and Galinda (Wicked)

[faeriescorpio]

The Jims: We have no relevant skills!

Bim: I am unpleasant to work with!

Yandere: I like to cause problems!

Dark: Fuck, why would you say this after I’ve already finished signing the adoption papers?

[chungledown-bimothy]

Honestly, for all of his complaining, I think Fabian would be a good older sibling. And I think he and Gilear would really bond over them (not verbally of course. But there would be an understanding). Obviously this is never happening not as a bit, so whatever. I can dream

once he works through the mess of being abandoned by hallariel and then her coming back pregnant on top of the normal Spoiled Oldest Child Getting Another Sibling, yeah i think he would get there. although, in my experience, large age gaps make good sibling relationships hard no matter what.

i wouldn't say it's obviously never gonna happen- i think, not unlike how fabian's reactions to the sexy rat and chungledown bim led brennan to make them Bigger Problems, the more he fights it, the more likely it is to happen.