#BUDDY I AM NOT USEFUL IF I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK

[trans-cuchulainn]

i do think there is a degree to which certain kinds of Instagram activists have convinced themselves that traumatising themselves in solidarity is a useful form of activism. "I'm having nightmares and crying so much I want to be sick because of all these videos of dying children but I can't look away while people are getting hurt" I mean don't you think you'd be able to help more if you weren't having nightmares and crying all the time?? don't you think this is a one-way trip to burnout? don't you think maybe increasing the amount of trauma going around is counterproductive? I dunno bro there's something to be said for bearing witness but there comes a point where you gotta look hard at yourself and go "am I helping, or am I just making myself suffer so I don't feel guilty for not suffering while somebody else is experiencing bad shit"

[cutielando]

happy ~ lando norris

Summary: After 5 years together, having made it through thick and thin, it was finally time for the long awaited wedding between Y/N and Lando.

Words: 1.2k+

Other works: my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

"Why am I so nervous?" you asked Cisca and your mother, both of them helping you get the last things ready on your dress while simultaneously trying to calm you down.

"Darling, you're going to give yourself a panic attack if you don't stop stressing" Cisca said, your mother agreeing with her.

You sighed, staring at your reflection in the mirror while the 2 mothers worked around you.

Your wedding day has been something you have waited for your entire life. The day Lando proposed, you felt one step closer to living your dream. Seeing yourself in your wedding dress all glammed up made tears well up in your eyes, but you kept them at bay.

It was supposed to be a perfect day, after all. You were marrying the love of your life in front of all of your families.

A knock on your door made you look anxiously towards the closed doors, your nerves worse than ever. 

Adam, Lando's father, poked his head inside, his eyes landing on all three of you.

"Are you ready?" he asked, eyeing you up and smiling.

"I'm nervous" you admitted, making him chuckle and enter the room, closing the door behind him.

Due to the fact that your father had passed away when you were young, Adam decided to step up and be the one walking you down the aisle.

Something that brought tears to your mother's eyes when he had first suggested it.

"Trust me, you can't be more nervous than the groom himself. He's been stressing about ever since he woke up" Adam reassured you, hoping it would make you feel slightly better.

It did, in all honesty. It made you chuckle as well, already imagining Lando stressing over every single small thing that you could possibly think of. His shoes weren't right, his tie was crooked, his curls weren't on point, you name it.

He was a perfectionist at heart, especially on this day since he wanted everything to be perfect. You deserved a perfect wedding day.

"Honey" your mother took your hands and smiled. "You remind me of myself on my wedding day to your father. I was a nervous wreck the entire we were planning the wedding, but when I saw your father waiting for me at the alter, nothing else mattered in that moment. You and Lando love each other dearly and you're going to have an amazing life together. Go out there and get your boy, leave the nerves at the door"

You nodded and hugged her tightly, burying your face in her neck.

"I'm ready" you told Adam once you pulled away, taking his arm.

"Let's get you married"

♡♡♡♡♡

As the music started playing and the big oak doors opened, your eyes immediately landed on your soon-to-be husband waiting for you, Max and his brother by his side.

Adam and you slowly walked towards him, smiling at the guests all around you. 

Once you reached Lando, Adam took your hand and clasped it in his, smiling at you with tears in his eyes.

"Take care of him for us" he said, making everyone in the room swallow down a giggle.

"I will" you whispered back, squeezing his hands before turning towards Lando.

Your eyes were locked on each other, a silent conversation taking place. He looked dashingly handsome, his tux amazing on his fit physique.  You really hit the jackpot with him.

"Hello, everyone" the reverend began speaking. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage between these two exceptional young people, Y/N and Lando. I can see how excited the bride and the groom are, so I won't make this any longer than it should be. Y/N, Lando, have you prepared your vows?" you both nodded, and then the reverend motioned for you to go first.

You let out a deep breath, taking Lando's hands in yours.

"Way to make me break the ice, reverend" you joked, making everyone laugh including Lando. "Lando, you're my best friend, my partner in crime, my gaming buddy, the absolute love of my life, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. When we met all those years ago, I could only dream of reaching this day, the day that would make you officially mine forever. I'm grateful for everything that you do for me, for being who you are and for loving me despite my flaws. You always know what to say, you always know how to make me feel loved and appreciated. I'm proud of everything that you do, of how successful your career is and how much potential you're always showing. I love you, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my days loving you and enjoying life by your side"

Everyone in the room was crying, your mothers holding onto each other as they silently cried in their tissues.

"Y/N, light of my life, I'm so proud of us for being here today. Ever since I laid my eyes on you when we first met, I knew you would be the woman that I would marry. You bring a light and stability in my life that I've been lacking for as long as I can remember. I can be myself when I'm around you, I can escape the fame and pressure when it's just the two of us, just how I want it to be. You have been nothing short of supportive in my career, coming to my races and cheering me on, believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. I cannot thank you enough. I promise to always love you and care for you, keep you safe and show you just how grateful I am to have you in my life. I love you so damn much and I cannot wait for you to finally become a Norris"

You smiled, tears threatening to fall from your eyes and ruin your perfect makeup, but you didn't care in that moment. The only thing you cared about was Lando.

"Do you have the rings?" the reverend asked, and Max quickly got the velvet box out of his pocked and gave it to Lando.

He took out the rings, giving you his while he took yours.

"Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Lando Norris to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" you almost yelled out, making everyone chuckle due to how eager you were.

"Lando, do you take Y/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" Lando smiled.

You both put your rings on each other's fingers, smiling like two idiots in love while waiting for the part of the ceremony that you had been looking forward to.

"By the power invested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Lando, you may kiss your bride" the reverend hadn't even finished what he was saying before Lando wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you.

Everyone cheered for you, clapping and whistling for the two newlyweds.

As you pulled away, you didn't acknowledge anything around you except for Lando, your husband.

Finally, your husband.

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[joannaliceevans-fanficblog]

Evermore: Part. 4

Warnings: Tissues are needed for this chapter.

Listen to this song, as you read this chapter:

Time McGraw Please Remember Me

Amazing Grace

I also wanted thank my babes @hollybee8917 for this wonderful Mood Board!

The room started to fill as family members and friends came to pay their respects to your husband. His friends in the Army, Sam and Rachel were present. Each one greeted you with hugs and sympathy. Your daughter, Chloe, was thankfully asleep in her stroller. In the background, were photo memories. In the table next to Ari, were the sentimental things. His beloved Boston Red Sox hat, car keys to his truck you hate driving, and a photo of your wedding. 

At this point, you did your best to be happy. You tried to fill your thoughts of the happy times with your husband. You always had good memories with Ari like the day you first met him when you were just a young girl at a birthday party. You were being picked on by a girl named Audry when you didn’t do anything. Ari came to your rescue and since then he along with Andy had become best of friends with you. 

There are so many memories that you can talk about and all of them made you smile. After the greetings were done, Andy went up the podium and everyone in the room took a seat. He cleared his throat and looked around the room, “Hello everyone, if you don’t know who I am by now, that’s okay. My name is Lieutenant General Andy Barber. Or just known as Andy. I’ve known Ari since we were both little kids. Our families would attend parties and we would sneak away to play legos. We went to the same elementary school, middle school, and High School. As kids, we both made a pact that we would join the military. He wanted to go to West Point and I wanted to join the Air Force. And we did.” 

Andy paused and wiped his eyes, “Throughout the years, we supported each other. I was there when he graduated from West Point and he went to my graduation at the Air Force. Ari was a man of great honor. He would do anything for anyone that he was close with, and he even got me out of trouble in our younger days. As I did the same. Ari had told me once that he fell in love and I looked at him, and I asked who it was. I didn’t expect him to say Y/N. I didn’t believe him at first, but when I saw them together one day, it came together. The love he had for her was so strong. When he told me that he was going to be a father, after trying for so long, I had never seen anyone so happy. But now, my best friend is gone. He died for this country and he died so that his daughter and his wife could have a better life. Ari, buddy. I’m going to miss you, your stubbornness, your obsession with beer and everything in between.” 

Andy then took a seat next to you. You took a moment for yourself before getting up.  

You’re normally not like this, but your hands start to shake. You're used to talking to large groups of people, a preschool teacher. You took a deep breath and let it out, “Hi everyone, I'm Ari’s wife Y/N Levinson. I’ve known Ari since I was a young girl. Our families went to the same parties, and we all went to the same school. I was younger than the two, but as Ari would tell me I was a monster when I got mad and I always act older than my age. Ari was a genuine, caring, and loving man. I knew that I was in love with him when I needed to be picked up from a friend's house. I was tipsy, and my boyfriend at the time had dumped me. Ari was in town from his deployment. He bought me food from McDonalds because I kept insisting that french fries are the best when piping hot. He took me back to his house and we sat on his rooftop. We talked all night and I ended up sleeping in the guest room in his house. He took care of me the next morning. He knew all the things I loved, and without me telling him, he knew exactly what I needed, when I was feeling down or when I was having a panic attack. His voice was always calming for me.” 

You paused, sniffed and wiped your eyes, “We married young, but that didn’t stop us. The times when he was gone for 6 months at a time were hard. Ari absolutely hated it when I ate on the couch. I was a messy eater and crumbs were always on the couch. His big GMC truck, that he would purposely block my car, so he would make me use it. Even when he knew that I hated that truck. So, in return, I would park his truck in the garage and leave my Outback behind it. He would call when he can. Emails were the only way I could get a hold of him when he didn’t have access to a phone. There were times when he surprised me by coming home early. If I could live in those times again. The last thing that Ari told me was that “Angel, I can’t wait to see you this Friday. I have plans for a vacation for us and Chloe. I love you Ms. Levinson.”

You paused and this time you couldn’t continue. You tried, but all that came out was gibberish. Holly and Andy came up to the podium and they both hugged you. You gave yourself a few minutes then you cleared your throat, “I don’t know what I will do now that you’re gone. Your baby girl will be without her daddy. But I promise you that she will not forget you. Rest easy, my Ari Bear. Sarge is waiting for you.” 

**

The next morning was the day that you were dreading. You didn’t get any sleep and Chloe was up the whole night just to add to the stress that you were already under. Your family, Andy, and Holly stayed the night so that you wouldn’t be alone. You found yourself up before anyone else and went downstairs to make yourself a cup of coffee. The house was quiet. You were used to it, but it’s different this time—empty, full of heartache, and without Ari. 

The moment you got to the kitchen, you smelt the scent of breakfast and coffee brewing. You walked into the kitchen to see Andy, Holly, your parents, and your extended family all around. Even Chloe was in her high chair, eating her breakfast. As you walked in, you stood there with all your emotions pouring out again. Andy looked up from his coffee and saw you. He immediately put his mug down and went to your side. 

“I know, I know-” Andy said, as he hugged you. 

You held onto him, and your mom went to your side as well, “Honey, I know it's hard and that’s why we are here to help you. You can’t do all this on your own.” 

Your mom said as you pulled away from Andy. You wiped your eyes and sighed. 

“I know, I’m just overwhelmed with emotions. I didn’t get any sleep last night, because Chloe wouldn’t go down and-”

“I know, honey, that’s why we all let you sleep in a bit more. Come have some breakfast, we can clean up here, while you get ready.” 

You sighed once more and let go of Andy. You then looked towards him and let out a giggle, “Um, sorry about your shirt.” 

Andy looked down and he smiled, “Oh don’t worry about it. It’s only a shirt. “ 

Despite everything that you're going through right now, a simple laugh warmed your heart for that brief moment. You wiped your eyes once more and then took a seat at the counter. Your dad handed you a cup of coffee and your mom placed down a plate of eggs, turkey bacon, hash browns, and two slices of toast with some butter. 

You didn’t feel like eating, but you had to. You haven’t eaten since lunchtime yesterday. You’re going to need all the energy for today.  

**

You sat on the floor of your daughter's room, as she laid down. She’s fresh from a bath and you were dressing her. A little black dress with white stockings and a black bow. 

“Who’s a pretty girl? Yes, you are!” You say, tickling her sides and she lets out a loud squeal. 

Once she was done, you scooped her up onto your hip, and hurried down the stairs. By the time you got downstairs, everyone was ready. Your mom took Chloe from you and you went to get her baby bag. You made sure that she had extra diapers, milk, snacks, and her food. Once you did, you placed on your shoes and were out the door. 

Locking the door behind you, you went to your Subaru where Andy was waiting along with your mom and Holly. Your dad and the rest of your family in another car. The drive would be an hour to get there.

“Are we going to the church first then to the cemetery?” Your mom asked. 

“Yeah, a private ceremony, then to the burial at the National Cemetery. Father Duncan will meet us there.” 

One Hour and 15 minutes later…

Andy entered the Massachusetts National Cemetery, where her extended family, Sam, Rachel and his platoon. The army guards, and along with the Army Band. It wasn't long, when the carriage pulled up. 

The moment you got out of the car, reality hit you again. You kept telling yourself this is a sick dream and you would wake up and your husband would be right next to you. But it wasn't. 

Your mom had Chloe in her arms, as you walked up to the carriage where Major. Sam was a Captain. Rachel. 

“Hi Sam,” you greeted him. 

Sam gave you a sympathetic smile and hugged you and to the same with Rachel. 

“How are you holding up?” Rachel asked. You let out a small sigh and tried not to cry. 

“I'm hanging in there.” You say. 

Before you could say anything else, Father Duncan came up to you and let you know that it was time. You turned around and the Hearse pulled up. 

The Army Honor Guard went into formation and marched towards the Hearse. As the casket was pulled out, you felt your heart tighten with pain. You watched as they marched towards the carriage. Once he was in place, you stood behind the guards. Amazing Grace from the bagpipes started and you marched on.

[pokidot]

MANDELA — twelve

wc: 1,473

“Get in. This is the last time I ever waste my time for some rando.”

Kuni was the first to exit the convenience store. He opened his vehicle door with a force strong enough that the rest of them were surprised it didn't fly off the handles.

You aided in his tyrant wake of destruction by pushing and nudging Hu Tao towards the door, leaving her to fervently panic. "Look, I can't say it out in public, alright?! This is a secret operation, and you're seriously going to blow my cover—”

"Cover? That's what you're worried about, a cover?" Kuni scoffed, "Your cover was to no avail once you got your tears and snot on my very expensive car."

"Did you have to add that it was very expensive?" You said, looking away with half-lidded eyes.

She strode mighty out of the convenience store, the welcoming beacon of neon lights clashing with the sunlight rising. "I can't believe you're the one triggered, I had to almost dig my eyes out with a spoon."

"Oh, we're complaining now? You can stay here, if you'd like. I'm sure you'll love scraping maggots off the floor in the back." But as the silence made emphasis, he grinned.

Hu Tao gasped, holding her manicured fingers towards her lips, her reddened eyes in slight fear. “Are you implying there’s dead bodies in there right now?”

“I’m implying that it’s an extremely unsanitary condition that only a rat would think to be around.” He replied. “Oh wait, I see some similarities now.”

"Okay, can we relax?"

Hu Tao gasped, backing up. "You used your hairspray-nuclear...practice missile thing on the wrong person, buddy. I feel like your dog is ten seconds away from turning me into a chew toy."

"You are really suspicious." You shrugged.

"I'm not!"

"Yeah, you are~ You little sussy-wussy, you." You said while poking at her cheek, swaying your shoulders humorously. “Just get in the car, he’s not gonna bite you. I am!”

You nudged the girl’s shoulder again, closer and closer towards the inside of the car, shutting the door behind her and looking towards Kuni again. Your eyebrows raised.

You knew he knew about suspicion, but in your eyes, suspicion was looking back at you too. “Stop scarin’ our livestock, Johnny. We ain’t gonna have none left.” You said to him in a country accent.

He shouldn't have been seething, but something about Hu Tao’s general disposition irked him. “She’s a creep. If you were alone I wouldn’t be surprised if she sold you to the Fatui.”

“I know, but we gotta lay low!” You threw your hands up. “We can’t just be outing our business to the entire wild west! You think word don’t spread around these parts?” You said while motioning towards the vast land of nothing besides the road and the tumbleweeds in the distance.

"Stop doing that voice. And don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.” Kuni’s eyes moved back towards the rest of the group. “We can’t afford to take chances when we have a pack of idiots with us.”

“Spoken as if I didn’t collaborate the pack of idiots.” You stuck your tongue out sarcastically. “If we’re really talking, I can’t afford anything.”

You drew closer to the rest of the group. “We’re going straight in. Ready?”

“You’re not listening to me.” Kuni’s voice drew out in a louder tone, his annoyance lingering on his tongue. "This is a really bad idea that will get worse, I'm warning you!"

“Damn, for some reason I hear a very annoying ringing! Hope it GETS BACK IN THE CAR SOON.” You responded, ending with a shout, that made Kuni's lip twitch in malcontent.

"...Wow." Kuni scoffed, ultimately listening and retreating back to the drivers seat.

Your head turned back to the group, grin slack on your face. “He’s so happy to be here.”

The group's faces held an air of expectation, but as they all exchanged glances, Heizou's gaze remained fixed. It was like a tapestry unraveled in his brain. "Question," He paused with uncertainty. "We're keeping a hostage with us because...?"

"Okay, chill out." You rolled your eyes. "She can't be a hostage if she attacked me first. Keep up."

"Keep up?!" Heizou's jaw fell slack. "Is your head on right? What if someone is looking for her? We led a paper trail to the rest of us. Then we have blood on our hands, we can't let anybody know we're going into Mori Grove!"

"It'll be fine! This is the best possible outcome." You grinned. "Plus, if I get what I want, we may have further investigation to look into."

"And you're happy?" Aether hesitated. "Like...with the risk?"

"Are you kidding? I'm so happy, I almost forgot I owe the government 500,000 mora." You chortled, the chuckle slowly fading as your face fell. "Almost."

"I thought you said that you weren't in debt?" Kazuha blinked.

There was a sudden tremor in your expression, begging Kazuha not to simmer the burn any further with your pleading eyes. The boy could only nod slowly. "Right...nevermind."

"Oh~ I love when cute people are financially vulnerable." Venti cooed.

"Oh my gosh, not here!" You dramatically replied, making a shooing motion with your hand.

"Well, this was a ridiculously unnecessary amount of time we wasted." Xiao's eyebrow cocked up in disdain. "You better have a good plan."

The car glided up the winding path heading to a cabin not too far from the village itself. It remained nestled in the ominous thicket of the forest, remaining eerie enough for the fog not to clear from the open acres of land. The road was beginning to close from the leeway, but thanks to Venti’s very convincing (and seductive) reasoning, the patrol let them through.

The headlights, like a piercing cat's eyes, provide fleeting glimpses of the ancient trees as it starts to stop along the pathway. There was something wrong with the atmosphere, and that itself was a reminder to Kuni that his stoic mood was necessary.

He turn the key out of the ignition, his eyes made a small glimpse at the sun that was no longer on the horizon before watching the second car with the others approach the other side of the pathway onto the grassy texture.

There was a noticeable sense of presence that was left, like an unseen spectator watching from the windows, their group unknowing that they were there. But before he was about to mention such, he was snapped out of his focus by Hu Tao's nervous chuckle.

There was an imminent silence amongst the three, before Hu Tao laughed nervously, eyes darting around the area. "Haha, well it's been a blast getting to know all of you within...two-ish? Hours, buuuuttt I really gottaaaa-"

"Shut up. You're not going anywhere." You cut her off, your hand reaching for the car door to open it and get out. "Kuni, watch her. I'll get the equipment."

Hearing a small sound of protest from the former, you grunted and shut the door, having felt your nerves on edge as soon as you got here. The home built out of wood stood tall, intimidating in its nature, being the lonesome home.

You wrapped the band of the camera around your neck, hooking on the gear and shoving the spare lens in your pocket, digging for spare handcuffs while the rest of the group approached you.

"Hold this. Can someone knock on the door? She said she would be here." You asked, putting a wad of paper towels and coins into Aether's hand.

"What are you- oh! okay!" Aether was met with anything he could have expected from you: a pair of handcuffs. "Where did you even get those?"

"Stole 'em."

Aether, looking extremely uncomfortable, gave a small cough. "Just a...heads up for next time would be good, okay?"

"Not kink stuff. This is for her." You motioned your head towards the girl who was coming out of the car, being stalked upon by Kuni, who didn't look too pleased either.

You quickly snapped the cuffs on each hand one at a time, to which Hu Tao's mouth dropped. "Handcuffs. Handcuffs? I think you're taking this way too far."

"Yeah? Should've thought about that when you lied to me."

"What, all because I can't tell you what I was doing?! I'm not trying to sabotage your investigation, I swear!" Hu Tao said in a slightly pleading tone.

"Pull your weight if you want out." You leaned closer to her with a hiss to your tone, causing her to draw back slowly. "You're going to wait until we're finished, and THEN I'll decide if I'm feeling generous enough to uncuff you."

You drew your finger back from her face, stepping back and heading towards the wooden door. Hu Tao was frozen in disbelief, along with Aether who slowly murmured towards her. "They didn't put me up to this, I swear."

Kuni, mildly proud of you as his eyebrows rose in delight, nudged Hu Tao and Aether towards the rest of the group. "Move it.”

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NOTES || hey! if anybody saw the other one... no u didn't ! <3 PLEASE NO UYOU DIDN'T (but if you did then u know smth others dont oh well lol)

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[trashland-llamas]

Howdy

synopsis; 3 separate meet-cutes involving fem! reader + soap, ghost, & gaz

they/them pronouns used for reader; fem reader

f/a/d-favorite alcoholic drink; can switch it out for soda or water if you don't drink

Before He Cheats - Soap

Catches y/n in the act of slashing their ex's tires after finding out their partner was cheating on them with one of the other regulars

'You do realize insurance will most likely cover that if you slash all of 'em right?' Unable to hide his amusement at the 'deer-in-the-headlight' stare they gave him. 'Stop while I'm ahead, got it.'

'Not that it's any of my business but what's the story behind all this?' This being the smashed headlight, and carved leather seats. Smart enough not to sign their work. A discarded Louisville slugger.

'My boyfriend always told me he was watching the game with his buddies, turns out he's been seeing someone on the side.' Noting the shock in their voice, surprised at their ex's audacity. Accent more prominent.

'He's one stupid man, losing someone like you. Name's Soap, in case we meet again.' He didn't know when his next deployment would be, but he hoped the fates would make them cross paths again before then.

'Y/n, if I don't end up in prison first.' Not caring enough at the moment to ask what kind of name is Soap. Especially when the person looked so ruggedly handsome. Y/n started picking up all their stuff, finding a phone number scrawled on the bat.

'Call me when you get a chance jailbird.'

Die A Happy Man - Ghost

Price had tried setting Ghost up on a blind date, being a regular at y/n's shop, he had overheard them moping about how single they were. With their permission, he gave Ghost their number. 'Simon, you deserve love as much as the rest of us. Plus if it weren't for Gaz and Soap, you'd be a literal caveman. Think about it, okay?'

Ghost randomly texts them one night when he gets back from a mission, just wanting someone to talk to. 'Price gave me this number.' is his blunt opening line. 'And who am I speaking to?' Glad he had type it in correctly. 'Simon.'

It's only until a week later of semi-consistent back and forth messages that Simon asks them out. 'I'll pick you up at 7pm, wear something nice.' Breathing out a laugh at their response. 'At least send me a photo so I know who to look for.'

'Charming.' He sent a masked selfie, holding up his driver's license.

Ghost forgets out to breath when y/n's walking out the door to meet him, a red dress hugging all their curves. 'You're gonna catch flies, Simon.' Hearing how his name rolls off y/n's tongue doesn't help.

'You don't look too bad yourself.' y/n compliments Ghost as they buckle up. A navy blue button up with some black jeans. A chain holding dog tags showing from the few buttons left undone at the top.

Simon ends up having a panic attack on their second date when y/n shows up in a little black dress. It turns into a funny story as y/n was scared shitless, not knowing what to do.

Party in the USA - Gaz

'Oh my god, I'm so sorry!' Gaz had barely budged from the force. He appreciated the apology despite how little he cared for the shirt. Opening his shirt to reveal a v-neck shirt underneath. 'No fuss. Can I buy you a replacement drink?'

Nodding, they told him that is was a f/a/d. Buying a shot for himself, he looked y/n up and down. 'I'm guessing you didn't get the memo?' His tone lighthearted, a teasing quality to it. Gaz was referring to how out of place they looked, no name brands in sight. It was rather refreshing if he was honest. 'What gave it away?' 

'Oh, I don't know, maybe the boots. Or the country bumpkin vibes plus the attractive accent.' His response making y/n wonder if it was the liquid courage or if he was always this lofty. 'You think my accent's hot?' Hook, line, and sinker. 'Oh, I think it's divine. Name's Kyle.' Y/n being the forward one now, invited Gaz to the dance floor.

Laughing when Britney Spear's 'If U Seek Amy' played over the speakers, them poorly singing along. Off in their own world that Gaz was the only one privy to see. Unsure if he could call their movements dancing. Not that he was any better as he was glad to have a partner.

Scoring some point in the gentleman category, Gaz offered to drive y/n home, when they were hit with butterflies in their stomach. Grabbing his phone, Gaz watched as they type in their phone number. 'So you can text me that you got home okay.' Unable to deny how his heart softened. 'Awfully kind of you, but I will.' Trying his best to reassure them, not wanting to instill any worry.

'Home safe and in one piece.' Finally seeing their name, whispers to himself, 'y/n, a pretty name for a pretty gal.'

Refuses to call them anything other than 'country bumpkin,' to the point even his colleagues know them as that. 

[casinoquartet]

okay i am going to be real i have 0 idea if this post will make any sense but holy shit k!ash and k!clown have been spinning in my head so much after that confrontation in clown's study because. Holy Shit .

(long ramble under the cut)

okay first off. why are you, as a man, waiting for some guy in your study so you can monologue about your shared history, all while actively insulting him where you know it hurts and talking in a semi-cryptic way so he can piece together your history with him. with that out of the way there are so many specific things about their relationship that i think about A Lot

first off, i'm not sure how obvious this is to anyone who doesn't watch ash's streams, but my man is Constantly breaking the 4th wall and generally not giving a shit about his constant environment. like, my man has killed multiple cats because he asked chat if it would be funny, before scurrying off and causing property damage and or robbing everyone. and also he spends most of the time meta gaming the entire time so.

like i shit you not he still has this attitude with god himself. quite literally makes a deal with god and still is constantly muting to talk to chat and meta gaming the entire time

going on from that, because of the tone of his character, k!ash never exactly takes anything seriously and (generally) doesn't really care about any consciences or threats around him. he usually brushes through them and doesn't actually feel threatened about anything ever

except when clown confronts him in his study. like very noticeably, ash's demeanor changes when clown starts throwing (metaphorical) punches where it hurts. ash is instantly defensive about all of this, but clown's words Get to him. to the point where when clown calls him a lab rat, he panic teleports into the shadow realm to get tnt. and he does straight up attack clown for all of this.

and just. the entire confrontation in general. i'm gonna assume that k!clown is telling the truth because of k!branzy saying that ash went missing and was also in the lab, and also ash's limited memories about clown pushing him in. which if you're running with this interpretation, ash was literally warned by ivory that clown lies a lot, and clown straight up confirms that branzy wasn't in on the "keeping ash around to use as a lab rat" thing because branzy was really fond of ash (which also lines up because during the branzy cameo, branzy does mention that clown wouldn't push ash down the portal because clown loves ash just like how branzy also loves ash so ?!?!?!) and clown's only admiting the truth now because branzy is gone and there isn't any reason to lie anymore. which. okay buddy. confess that you do have history with this man and that your subordinate also really liked him . Okay

also like, clown's words Really got to ash. like ash is actively insulting his guy the entire time and after he (non canonically) kills clown he keeps on telling chat shit like "hes lying right chat? there's no way this guy would take my work (in the lab) under my nose and do that" while calling clown a bitch and hopes that he dies. i'm so. what in the toxic yaoi is up with these two. workplace-turned-enemies partners i guess.

[bee-dot-exe]

Surprise @pianolote!

I got this idea after a BBH stream and thought it would be fun to write anyway, then I remembered it would probably work really well with your request.

Not directly trying to imply or headcannon he's neurodivergent, but I am and experience similar things, and this unintentionally helped me to write both perspectives.

Happy holidays everyone, I hope you enjoy.

And thank you for putting this event together @mcytblrholidayexchange!

Fidget

1,147 words

Possible dissociation possible panic attack a and non verbal episode warnings I guess?

"Wait, where are you going, don't you think this is cool?"

I asked smiling as we ran towards the elevator.

"Why would you make this?"

They asked with a slightly quivering voice.

"Cause it was like our little slice of Heaven while we were in Hell!"

We reached the elevator block and teleported out of the room, they spun on their heels, and looked me in the eyes.

"I think you might have finally lost it."

And they ran out of the building above my creation.

While I was left standing silent and frozen.

I did it again. I don't know what I did. But I did it again.

Why does no one think this is as nice to be in as me? Why does no one want to stay? Why does no one think I did a good job?

I made a mistake. This is a mistake. I'm a mistake.

My ears were ringing, not like the sound of a bell, but the continuous single note of otherwise silence and disuse and the rushing of blood traveling through my body.

Someone had severed my vocal chords, and then took a needle to sew my lips closed just to be safe.

All the breath that had not yet been stolen passed through the void that was my throat, passing through the chasm swiftly and quietly, cold like ice.

"Bad?"

Oh. A voice. I don't know who or where it was coming from. But it was real. I think.

"What's going on, buddy?"

I'm someone's buddy?

"Hey, are you cold? You're shaking a little bit."

Oh. I guess I am. No, I'm not cold.

"Not feeling like talking right now? That's okay, I get it, some quiet time doesn't hurt."

I want to, I should be able to, but I can't. Can't whoever that is see that someone or something took away that ability? I tried to say something, make any kind of noise really, but I could only feel cold air where the heavy feeling of words usually were.

"Hey, don't force yourself, I understand. Can you nod or shake your head?"

I think so.

"Hey, there we go, good job."

I guess I nodded.

"Did something happen?"

Nod.

"Do you need anything?"

Shake.

"Do you wanna sit down?"

Nod.

"Can I touch you so we can sit down?"

Nod.

I felt something, I'm guessing it was whoever was talking's hands, on both my shoulders, and they helped sit me down.

"There we go. Do you want me to leave?"

Shake.

"Can I sit next to you?"

Nod.

So they did.

It was a strange sensation.

My vision hadn't blacked out, I could still see things happening around me, but it was kind of blurred around the edges, like a dream almost.

Same for my hearing, I knew there were probably sounds coming from the person sitting next to me and from myself and from the other life around us, but it almost sounded like tv static.

I came back to earth, in a way, after an undetermined amount of time, and regained my senses.

The ground I was sitting on was hard, of course it was, it's the ground.

I reached my hand out from sitting in my lap, curled into a fist and playing absentmindedly with a bit of my cloak, expecting to find the smooth floor at my fingertips, and instead brushing against soft grass. I lifted my head and looked around, expecting to see walls and decor, instead landing my eyes on other building structures and landscape. I plucked a flower that was growing with a small collection of others in arms reach and began to play with the delicate petals.

When did I get outside? Oh right someone was with me. When did we get outside?

My throat didn't feel as cold or empty, so I tried to clear it, testing the ability to make noise again, and apparently succeeded.

"Hey buddy."

Big eyes. Kind smile. Chiseled jawline.

"Foolish."

"The one and only. Feeling any better?"

I cleared my throat and let my eyes wander to the flowers again.

"Not totally up for taking yet still?"

"It's fine. Just. Don't know what to say."

"Would questions help?"

"Okay."

"Do you know what made you feel like this quiet time needed to happen?"

"Mhm."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Maybe. Not right now though. Is that okay?"

"Course it is. Doesn't have to be any of my business if you don't want it to be. Wanna sit here a bit longer?"

"Okay."

I continued to fidget by messing with and picking at the skin around my fingers, because I didn't know what else to do, until my hands were gently separated.

I was confused and mentally searched for something to do with my source of physical stimming suddenly gone, until something was placed in my hands, a flower.

Foolish had moved to sit in front of instead of beside me, and was just moving his hands from hovering above mine after placing the flower, which I gently started to use as a fidget instead.

"Sorry. Just didn't want you to hurt yourself."

We made eye contact.

"I wasn't. I don't think."

He paused, mouth slightly agape.

"Oh. That's okay. Doesn't that feel better to mess with though?"

I moved the fingers on one hand to grasp the flower, the other five fingers brushing against the petals, gently taking in as much detail as I could.

"Maybe."

His eyes dropped slightly but his smile was still soft.

"Okay. I can work with that."

I continued to stim, occasionally glancing from the flower to Foolish, who's eyes searched the landscape, which I appreciated, being perceived in general isn't the greatest feeling but especially in moments like this, I cleared my throat to let him know it was okay to make eye contact again.

"Hi Bad."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I don't know. Everything. What I did."

"What did you do?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but stopped to consider the question. What did I do? Why was I apologizing? He must have seen the cogs in my brain turning so he spoke up.

"Are you apologizing because you think you should or because you know you should?"

"I think."

"I think so too. Why do you think you should? Because I think whatever you're feeling or whatever thoughts are playing pinball inside that head of yours just means you're alive."

My mouth stayed open like I was going to respond, but I didn't try saying anything, I just put down the flower.

"Foolish."

"Mhm?"

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him.

"Oh. Guess we're hugging. Okay."

My grasp loosened slightly in uncertainty. I should have asked. But he didn't loosen his, it actually got a bit tighter.

I guess this was okay. I guess I did okay. I guess I would be okay.

[witchern]

i was going to put this story in the tags of another post but fuck it, this decade-old memory hit me like a TRUCK thanks to @gerardwayoftheday and it's incredibly special to me.

so, about this photo:

is now the time when i tell y'all i was in the crowd for this performance and specifically picked to stand up front at the barricade for the cameras???

freshman year of college i'd dyed my hair bright red, like gerard's is during this era. not on purpose but it ended up being eerily similar in shade and vibrancy.

ANYWAY. this performance was prerecorded in november. it was fucking cold. two of my new friends had seen an open invite from live nation for fans to line up for free and score a chance to join in the crowd and be part of the recording. they invited me along because they knew i was a fan and by the time we all got there, the line had already wrapped around the block. we waited so long that i had to sneak into a nearby restaurant to use their bathroom.

i don't remember how much time passed, but eventually a live nation crew member walked by our group and did a double take when he spotted us. ME specifically, because of the hair. and i knew it was because of me because he immediately comes up to me and asks if i'm here with anyone. i'm confused as hell by the question, but i point to my friends. he counts that there's 3 of us total and says something into his walkie talkie before he asks us to follow him and skip the line. there's no explanation WHY. we're still confused and we don't wanna leave the line we've been standing in for god knows how long.....but he's already walking away and our curiosity is too strong. so fuck it, we follow the guy down the block and skip the whole line.

he leads us to a much smaller group of fans that have been 'set aside' and asks us to wait with them instead. STILL no explanation. at this point i'm thinking we've been picked for the noisemakers and glasses and shit that they're gonna hand out for the recording.

turns out: nope!! we've been picked because – not to toot my own dumbass college horn – we all looked cool for the camera, so they wanted to put us up front. they hand us numbered index cards indicating our spots up front. i'm given spot #9. i am – to put it lightly – losing my ever-loving fucking mind at this point. but i'm playing it like i'm totally chill. so calm. so relaxed. not at all about to have the excited version of a panic attack. not one bit.

i know "sing" was the song they aired on TV, but they actually played 4 songs to make it a worthwhile evening for us, which was fucking amazing. they played "na na na" and "i'm not okay" and i thiiiiiiink the last song was "famous last words" but i was literally blacking out with joy for most of the night so don't quote me on that. they did dedicate "i'm not okay" to all of us though and you can't prove that i cried, so shut the fuck up.

funnily enough, even with the fire engine red hair, i didn't wind up on camera in a close up shot or anything. my buddy ryan did though!! probably because he's like 50 feet tall:

the most view of myself i was ever able to find was here at the bottom right – next to ryan, who's towering over me. i think he's literally looking down in this moment to make sure i haven't been crushed.

shout out to the other girl toward the center of the screenshot with the matching hair. twinsies <333

but as if all of THAT wasn't enough, as if being up front during a taped MCR new year's eve performance at rockefeller plaza wasn't enough – frank tossed me one of his guitar picks at the end of the night.

it's gonna sound sappy but it's true: at a time when i was on my own for the first time, trying to make new friends in a new city, i've never felt more like i was on the right track in my life than that night. it was fucking magical, no other way to describe it.

SO. that's the story of how i dyed my hair red in a fit of college rebellion and wound up getting picked from a lineup of hundreds of folks to stand up front at a mini MCR show that was pre-taped for new year's eve with carson daly. what a time to be alive in-fucking-deed.

[bibuddie]

hiiieeee first and foremost…I love your blog! I just recently found/followed it and I can tell how invested and passionate you are about 9-1-1 and the fandom 🫶🏽 I just wanted to ask about something you answered in regard to your last ask— where you said “bucktommy isn't the intended end-goal” and that that’s pretty widely accepted within the fandom. which I can also see! I see that a lot of the fans are CONVINCED that this all leads to buddie in the end…

I guess I just wanna know…how are you SO confident that all of this is leading to buddie? I’ve read a few answers to asks on other blogs that briefly touch on this, and more than anything I want to believe it wholeheartedly (trust me!) but I feel like…idk part of me can’t help feeling they’re gonna pull the rug from under us and have it NOT lead to buddie. what has you so confident about this (and how can I be this confident lmao bc I really hate the doubt i’m feeling)?

hello!

first of all, i'm not sure if you're new to watching the show alltogether or just the tumblr fandom, but welcome! we're quite tight knit here but i'm sure you'll have a great time! <333

as to your question: there's a lot of reasons i'm confident that this is leading to buddie; honestly, there's been a lot of evidence over the years which tells us what's happening, and it could be an essay in and of itself. i'll try and summarise a few of the key points of evidence that, in my opinion, tell us where things are going (this will contain spoilers for any new fans of the show!!):

in eddie's very first episode (2x01), we see him for the first time on-screen through buck's pov. here, as we see eddie on screen, the son whatta man plays as eddie pulls his shirt on in slow-motion. to a lot of us, this is indicative of instant attraction/interest on buck's part, and gives us a major clue that something is happening here

in buck, actually (2x08), one of the main calls we see on the episode involves a gay couple, thomas and mitchell. when mitchell is pronounced dead, thomas and buck are sat on the ambulance and having a conversation, which goes as follows:

thomas: we only ever wanted to...to go together. that's love. buck: i'm sorry. i really am. i guess i can only hope to find something that good. thomas: you don't find it, son. you make it.

the idea that you don't find your love story, you have to put in the effort and make it becomes a recurring theme between buck and eddie. they manage to construct their own family unit consisting of themselves and chris over the years. the idea that they are a family already feeds into several different plot-lines over the years, perhaps most notably eddie's issues with ana and their eventual break up:

in episode 1 of season 5, eddie has a panic attack over a shop assistant thinking that ana was chris' mom. later, when he's talking to buck about it, he mentions how they became a ready made family...i'm not sure if i'm ready for that. when buck and eddie have been making their family for years now

eddie's entire breakup with ana was very queer-coded. honestly, watch the scene here, but ryan acted his absolute ass off and the entire thing reeks of eddie being a queer man at his core

honestly, one of the biggest bits of evidence we got in the first place was buck being confirmed as bisexual canonically. this allows us to thoroughly go back through and recontextualise a lot of interactions between buck and eddie over the years. two key scenes are the will scene (4x14 survivors) and the well scene (3x15 eddie begins). both of these scenes show buck and eddie in moments of vulnerability with one another, and show that their connection surpasses the connection which they have with anyone else

side note - i watched eddie begins yesterday, and the entire time eddie is drowning at the end of the episode, his life flashes before his eyes. all of this is chris, but a good chunk of the scenes also have buck in them.

again, there's a lot more i could point to, but these are the main things which stick out to me right now! i hope this answers your question!

[red-hot-kick]

I don't really know how to articulate this in a way that won't make someone somewhere very upset so I'm just going to go about this in the way I normally would: as Directly as possible.

I have to set some boundaries when it comes to my art.

For everyone with busy lives, here's the short version: If you believe, in any capacity, that you literally are any of the characters I frequently draw, and/or if you know yourself to be prone to taking fanworks a little too personally (meaning: to the point of causing considerable distress when a work is not compliant with your perceptions), please either keep it to yourself or block me. I mean that.

...Everybody else, strap in for the long version:

I don't know what any of you mean anymore when you say you "kin" a character. Not long ago, if you used the word "kinning" on the internet (ie. elfinkin(d), otherkin, fictionkin, etc.) you were most likely (with a few exceptions) talking about a very specific experience. I'm talking "compulsively eating your mother's jewelry because you're a dragonkin, and dragons hoard and eat rare gems, obviously" type stuff. Not "closet-cosplaying to school as your favorite anime character because you really really relate to/admire them". Those are fundamentally two different things. So why are we using the same term for them?

(...It was a huge mistake to come up with the word "kinnie" as a cutesy nickname, in my honest opinion.)

Now, the definition is too broad, too diluted. Now, if I see that word in a bio or a tag...I legitimately don't know what to expect. Someone could mean that they relate to the characters' plights and stories, or that they aspire to be like them and want to emulate them in their day-to-day life. Maybe they RP the character and (for some reason) don't know of any other terms to use.

...They could also mean that it is their firmly held belief that they are THE Yusuke Kitagawa in the flesh, or that Ryuji himself is beaming his consciousness into their brain from an alternate plane, or that Futaba periodically hacks into their body to speak through them, and so on.

And if the latter examples sound similar to your experience, then buddy, I don't wanna know about it. I have no goddamn business being privy to anyone's mental landscape on this big beautiful internet.

(I do want you to find a licensed clinician if you have the resources to safely do so, though. Sincerely.)

I don't want to be told that I'm not depicting "you" accurately (a thing that has happened!). I also don't want to be held responsible for accidentally hitting upon triggers that I could never anticipate, because of a stranger internalizing a character (voluntarily or not) so deeply into their personhood that a comic/fic/drawing exploring that character's canon in ways that make them uncomfortable can prompt a panic attack or a fit of rage or similar distress responses (a thing that I've been scolded by strangers over! Multiple times, even!). I also ABSOLUTELY don't want anyone to message me as a fictional character to tell me what they think of my art, or to tell me that they look to my art for things to build their personality around (which is also a thing that has happened. Are you seeing a trend?)

In all these scenarios, each person neglected to consider that I'm not a source of new "kin material"! I'm just some fucking guy, screwing around on the internet just like everyone else!

I'm not going to presume the legitimacy of any strangers' mental health status (access to mental healthcare can be next to impossible, I know), nor am I one to criticize how anyone engages with the things they like. However. Please remember that every interaction you have is a two-way street. Artists aren't content farms; they are your fellow fans.

When someone comments or tags my art to say "this is me", or "you drew me wrong", or "I would never do/say that", or that the material made them miserable or angry and that they "hate OP for making it"...I have to see that. It's only happened a handful of times. But that was enough to make me wonder with every kin-adjacent tag I see: Is this another person that feels entitlement or ownership over what I make? Is this another person I should expect comments of disappointment or aggression from if I make something that they disagree with? Do you think that I'm doing any of this for you?

[shadoedseptmbr]

20 Questions for fic writers

tagged by @wrathoscribbles Thank you!!! <3

hmm, i am where these things go to die but feel free to tag me if you get the urge to run with it!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

115 uh, doesn't seem like that much, really

2. What’s your total A03 word count?

832,340

3. What fandoms do you write for?

well, let's see- Mass Effect, Dragon Age, MCU (caveat, all my Marvel knowledge goes into anything I write. My Hawkeye is an amalgam of the Clint i grew up with, the Clint from Fraction's run of Hawkeye, and what we were given in the MCU with all the...uh, blatantly weird dad vibes thrown out the window. I really like Laura and the kids but i have no idea what to do with Dad!Clint. He is the least Dad-shaped Avenger and i'm including like, Speedball). I haven't written Buffy or the fandom that shall not be named in literally over a decade but i do have a couple stories for each on my AO3.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

In Cupid's Little Bag of Trix

Fandoms: Thor, The Avengers (2012), MCU by way of every Marvel 'verse M Clint Barton/Darcy Lewis background Natasha/Steve Summary Darcy might have a little crush. And possibly a kink. Look, it's been a long couple of years.

Shelter

Fandoms: Dragon Age 2 E OCf!Hawke/Sebastian Summary In whom do we seek shelter? Sebastian and Hawke, figuring things out over the course of a story. mind the tags, this one goes dark and sideways but ends happy. Written before extreme tagging was a thing.

apodyopis (SO *thirsty* lol)

Fandoms: Thor The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types M Clint Barton/Darcy Lewis voyeurism but not like...no one is actually having sex Clint's just like that

Summary

Clint likes to watch his girl work. Kind of a sequel to Cupid's Little Bag of Trix but can be read alone

Steal Away Home

Fandoms: Dragon Age 2 Explicit Graphic Depictions Of Violence F/M, Multi Work in Progress Sebastian Vael/Hawke (F) Aeryn is a menace Aeryn is also an assassin Child endangerment Panic attacks fantasy PTSD childhood neglect everyone here has issues

Summary Post-game adventure including the reclaiming of Starkhaven. Sequel to Shelter. This one needs tags updated, too. Several panic attacks, several people with control issues, lots of childhood neglect and out right abuse and endangerment. We used to just assume everyone knew that was par for the course with DA but honestly.

anchor the night

Fandoms: Mass Effect Teen And Up Audiences Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings F/M Summary After the date at Apollo’s. After the bit that would fade to black, too. Mind the tags.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh absolutely, fandom is built on the life blood of comments and i've made some of my dearest friends fangirling over each other's fic. Plus, i've never been particularly overwhelmed by comments so it's never been a particular hardship.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

dolore broke my own heart with that one

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

In Cupid's Little Bag of Trix, probably. Clint and Darcy are a barrel of monkeys and they're both so fucking full of zest.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Not that I've ever noticed. I'm fortunate enough to just get readers who want to be chill. i had someone once scold me for being mean to Alec Ryder, lol.

9. Do you write smut?

so much smut- less in Mass Effect, which is mildly hilarious given Aedan's penchants, lol.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not unless you count the various branchings of Marvel. I don't really get the appeal.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not as far as I know

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I have! I had the high honor of writing Shep/Shep with my buddy @nightmarestudio606 with The End is Where We Begin

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

I sail an armada, lol. I multiship and my favorite varies with what day it is. Right now, Codywan is winning, heh. My favorite to *write* though... Shenko is right up there but Clint/Darcy was so much fun.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

none of my WIPs are abandoned. I don't know if I'll ever finish Steal Away Home the way i want to, though.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterization, I think. Structurally, I have an excellent grasp of nuance when it comes to word choice in a way that lets me say a lot with not much.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

I'm not particularly focused and it can take a long time for me to finish work. And I tend to write without outline and that can lead to a wandering, meander of a fic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Do it all the time, do my best to make it accurate. I use a smattering of Scots Gaelic for my version of Starkhaven and my source is mostly old books because i like the archaic texture of it. Several of my characters have american south accents and i elide words and use slang and drop g's. '"I am going to the store, mother," she said in her Texas twang' does not read like "Goin' t'the store, ma." and you can't make me believe you don't lose vast amounts of characterization by trying to force it to work. And overly correct dialogue is one of the first reasons i'll drop out of reading fic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First written? The Black Stallion (book not movie) First published online? Trixie Belden

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

hard to pick from my favorite children, lol

Cupid's Little Bag of Trix is a (now fairly heavily edited) mess of stream of consciousness that grew a plot from when i was writing quick switch omniscient pov and just expected my readers to figure it out. But i love it. And it remains the biggest boost to my writing ego as ten years after posting, i still get kudos Verge (post Omega DLC) is when i really figured out who Aedan and Kaidan are, together and it manages to wreck me all over again, every time i re-read it.

[safewavess]

I present; 99 Castoff Incorrect Quotes. Don’t ask why

(Part 1 (This one)) (Part 2) (Part 3)

(1)

Rori: I didn't know that air fryers are a real thing. Used to think that they were made up by the internet as a funny joke and that their purpose was to "fry air".

Frankie: WAIT, BUT IT FRIES THE AIR TO FRY THE FOOD??

Rori: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A KITCHEN APPLIANCE, MY FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS SOMETHING AKIN TO AN AIR CONDITIONER!

Vector: IT'S NOT LIKE AN AIR CONDITIONER????

Sage: You guys clearly don't own an air fryer.

(2)

Vector: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Vector: Me too!

(3)

Arianna: Damn, the power went out.

Frankie: Don't worry, I got this.

Frankie: stomps foot

Arianna: What-?

Frankie: Sketchers light up

(4)

Arianna: And if you have any suggestions, please put them in the suggestion box.

Vector: That's a trash can.

(5)

Vector: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.

Frankie: We could attack them with hummus.

Vector: I stand corrected.

Frankie: Just keeping things in perspective.

(6)

Arianna: The path to inner peace begins with four words... not my fucking problem.

(7)

Marina: What do you call disobeying the law?

The Squad: A hobby.

Marina: crosses their arms

The Squad: That we do not engage in.

(8)

Marina: Arianna, don't go picking a fight with Sage. Don't forget, they're powerful, they could make life difficult for you.

Arianna: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.

(9)

Arianna: Ew. What kind of tea is this?

Rori: I boiled gatorade.

(10)

Marina: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Arianna: You know, I'm not really a jewelry person.

Marina: You don't have to wear...

Arianna: No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off.

(11)

Marina: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Rori: Burn the house down.

Marina: And what did you do?

Rori: I made dinner.

Marina:

Rori:

Marina:

Rori: And burnt the house down.

(12)

Vector: Here you go, Arianna, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Arianna: It's cold.

Vector: A nice cup of coffee.

Arianna: It's horrible!

Vector: Cup of coffee.

Arianna: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Vector: C U P.

(13)

Frankie: Operation no more distractions is a go!

not even 10 seconds later

Frankie: Oh, look! A butterfly!

(14)

Marina: Thank you for not saying "I told you so."

Arianna: When you're as right as I am, you don't have to say it.

(15)

Arianna: Answers phone. Hello?

Rori: It's Rori.

Arianna: What did they do this time?

Rori: No, it's me, Arianna. It's actually me.

Arianna: What did you do this time?

(16)

Arianna: What's this?

Marina, hugging Arianna: Affection!

Arianna: Disgusting.

Arianna: ...Do it again.

(17)

Sage: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin

Arianna: What the fuck? Begets isn't a word. Quit trying to make up words, fuckface.

(18)

Vector: Frankie, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.

Frankie: sigh Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum.

(19)

Arianna: Act natural.

Vector: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic.

Arianna: NO, that's not what I meant! Act like it's a normal day!

Vector: My 'normal' days of late, consist of a lot of panic.

Arianna: Will you just cooperate?

Vector: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

(20)

Rori: My life isn't as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look.

(21)

Arianna: I don't want to talk about it.

Rori: Good, I don't wanna hear about it.

(22)

Arianna: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.

(23)

Arianna: How long do you think it'll take?

Frankie: I don't know, three or four.

Arianna: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?

Frankie: Yeah, maybe five.

Arianna: Five what?!

(24)

Sage: Hopefully Arianna has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.

Arianna: Oh, shut up and die Sage.

(25)

Rori: Hey Marina, can I get some icecream

Marina: Only a spoonful!

Rori: Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.

(26)

Marina: You look mentally ill.

Arianna: I am. Let's go.

(27)

Rori: watching their house burn down

Rori:

Rori: starts filming Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non- microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

(28)

Arianna: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

(29)

Arianna: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?

Frankie: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.

Arianna: Okay yeah thanks Frankie, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?

(30)

Vector: Come to think of it... You've always been nice to me.

Vector: I mean, you listen to all my problems-

Arianna: No, Vector I just simply stand here while you talk, there's a big difference.

(31)

Rori: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

(32)

Rori: Are you ever going to listen to me

Arianna: Yes. Absolutely.

Rori: When?

Arianna: When you're right.

(33)

Frankie: You know what I learned from my friendship with Arianna?

Vector: There's no such thing as too mean?

Marina: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?

Rori: Always hold a grudge?

[nin-jay-go]

LIVEBLOG!!!!!!!

COME ON GUS DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT THE DEAD

aw shit the dragons

awawawawawaw arin's little horns :D

"i love you arin" cuuuute

oh i love how homemade and worn arin's armor looks :)

lloyd is so fucking tired give this man a break

"watering the plants can wait." he says epicly

AMONG US

there is no war in ba sing se :)

PERCIVAL TARTIGRADE!!!!!!!!!

HELLO DR LAROW CAN WE KISS

fucking YIKES beatrix your dictator is showing

"i made it do a thing! i deserve a break ^v^" KAI BUDDY

THESE FUCKING HOTHEADS LMAOOOO

i am! a sneaky man!

wyldfyre i love you so much

yall they're ghosts just splash them with water

YALL. WATER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

fuck OFFFFF with that "he created the other realms" bullshit i am cancelling that

oh they just invite frohicky up to the monastery huh

THE ANNUAL SOUP-LAUNCHING FESTIVAL???????

frohicky being the assistant keeper of the monastery could either be the worst decision ever or the best decision ever

oh god the hotheads are together

get cleaned idiot friend: gently sponges you

omg wait there's little swirls in arin's curls!!!! he IS the master of spin :D friend: he does his hair with spinjitzu

they're just playing frisbee

OH DEAR GOD HE BROKE THE SHIP

my friend and i in unison: YOU HAVE SAILS WHY ARE YOU PADDLING lloyd: we have sails us: THANK YOU

IRON LUNG?????????

oh the coral guy from the trailers!

OH THE CRAB. THE GIANT FUCKING CRAB.

CACKLING

I AM GOING TO START CRYING!!!!!!!

dey pay me in woims

ok so we were right the crab is controlling the guy

🆑🅰️🅱️

lloyd you are not beating the cat allegations

skulkin look interesting in their new update

i love this guy's voice he sounds funny

SIR WHY DID YOU EAT THE CUP

BRING BACK SNAKE JAGUAR

or. that. that could work. why did he put on the noir coat again

wyldfyre. girl. YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

i love these lavatides so much oh my god

whoever wrote kai this season nailed it

omg zane's birthday :D

LOBBO LOBBO :D

GULCH!!!! i missed you buddy

ZANE EXPERIENCES A MICROAGGRESSION

INSTALLING WINDOWS

lobbo my love

they gave kai the role of comic relief in lieu of jay being missing

frohicky you are so silly

EYEBALL???

oh boy the jay spirits

....wait. if the spirit of the temple was split in two by the merge... could jay have been split in two?

ZANTH... LIKE XANTHE MY YELLOW NINJA...

oh no nya girl how are you not having a panic attack

this djinn has depression dear god

oh god they're CURSED????

oh the ghosts are djinn banshees that are gonna kill them. great.

nya's gonna have some Thoughts after this

dorama- the elemental master of parlor tricks

"they call it doom" yea its a video game from the 90s

oh the lightning dragon's name is jiro! cool!

effervescent.....

DOOM MUCUS?????

VERTICALITY

COLE'S KIDS!!!! THERE THEY ARE!!!!!

arin voice rapton lives don't matter

alas. i have been. ✨disrespected✨

watch the path be lined with salt crystals

CALLED IT

OH SHIT ITS THE OFFICE WORKERS

BIG ROCK COLE!!!!! HES BACKKKKKKK

ANOTHER FRITZ????? LIKE FRITZ DONNEGAN??????

THE HOARDER??????

cole's boyfriend???? real????? love wins??????

LIKE THE LAND ITSELF IS SCREAMING???? ARE YOU OK?

elemental power of SUPERGLUE

FUSION??????????

dude geo's design is so cool. is he a geckle/munce hybrid or is he a keeper?

bonzle....

oh wyldfyre can just break rocks with her hands huh

SILENT HILL???????????? WHY ARE THE LOST ONES IN FUCKING SILENT HILL

oh geo is a hybrid!

this is a transgender allegory. trust me bro.

oh my god geothermicshipping real

STOP DEADNAMING HER

ALKWGJLKASDKHSKJFDAJH A LITTLE GUY

SWEEPER????????? I WANT 50

there is no heterosexual explanation for them

welcome to the backrooms!

this is an eldritch dimension

this is genuinely horrifying what the fuck

i like how the hotheads were the first to find the core

kai voice hi i have trauma. but i'm normal.

why does the purple serpentine sound like one of the starkid actors

is it jay sending them the messages???? i want him to be a villain so bad pleaseeee

WHY WAS ZANE KIDNAPPED??????? HELLO?????

jay's the manager, calling it now

oh my god we're in the realm of madness??? WE'RE IN THE FUCKING SPIRAL REALM

ADMINISTRATOR IS JAY

why are these computers SO bad

my friend: lloyd garbageadon

OH MY GOD WE'RE IN ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE

CALLED IT

I FUCKING CALLED IT

LKETS FUCKING GO

IM SO SMART

dorama's gotta be an important character later on bc that's a lot of power he has

zane you are so cool

dude don't just leave the core at home thats so stupid

oh ras is from wyldness? not chima?

?????? why is zeatrix 1) named that and 2) what is that power?????

imperium is not immune to propaganda

jiro's a wildclaw :D i know what my next project is

oh my god drew's cole is so good,,,,

my friend: guy who has only been in theater productions: this is giving me a lot of theater vibes

rapton is dead.

oh they're twins. that makes sense

last time there were twins with powers the power split itself in two. what happened here?

beatrix and harumi would get along like a house on fire

GET THEIR ASSES PERCIVAL TARTIGRADE

surprise! the mad scientist has morals! or at least self-preservation

she is still kissable

what if jay is next season's villain? (still has hope)

oh hotheads my beloved

SORA TRANSGENDER

LMAO NYA JUST CALLED BEATRIX MID JKDSFGBKJSKDJFJ

hey nya you wanna tell the others that cole is alive??????

HOTHEADS MY LOVES

rapton domestication arc

ok rapton is really funny actually

oh dear.

THEYRE GLITCHING THEYRE GLITCHING HTEHSAUHAOWHOUHFHAWHODAUWH

NO WYLDFYRE

ARINNNNNN HE LOVES SORAAAAAAAAAA

OH MY GOD THEY ARE STILL ON BEATRIX'S SIDE

every queer kid cries out in agony for sora

theeeere it is! elemental powers :D all her own :D

LOBBO SAFE AND OK ALL IS GOOD

oh!! the conduit!!!!

DRAGON HUGSSSS CUUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE

7 source dragons huh......

oh god ras has a new student

YOUR MASTER?????

[alyceinwonderland777]

The Rage Room

⚠️Warnings⚠️: Screaming, fighting, swear words, panic attack, crying, mention of torture

The TVA agents couldn't believe their ears. Loki was talking to them about how their memories have been suppressed, about He Who Remains and how their beloved Judge Renslayer had pruned C-20 instead of trying to figure out what was going on.

Hunter B-15: So is C-20 still alive?

Loki: Most likely yes, although Judge Renslayer most likely hopes she's dead.

Ravonna was terribly ashamed of what she had done.

Ravonna: I was panicking! I thought Sylvie had some kind of brainwashed her!

Loki: Instead it turns out that the one who was brainwashed is you. Comical, right?

Hunter B-15: You could have talked to Sylvie. I did it to try to understand what was happening and now I remember exactly who I am and where I come from. *Said B-15 to Ravonna*

Sylvie: She pretended not to remember what my first Nexus event was, so I don't think she was interested in talking to me.

Casey: What? Why did she do that?

Sylvie: Because Ravonna is a two-faced cunt.

Ravonna loses it.

Ravonna: YOUR NEXUS EVENT IS THAT YOU WERE GOOD! YOU WERE NOT INTERESTED IN POWER UNLIKE THE OTHER LOKIS AND WANTED TO BE A HERO SO UNFORTUNATELY WE HAD TO ARREST YOU! *She screamed*

Everyone was shocked, especially Sylvie.

Sylvie: I WAS A FUCKING CHILD! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Ravonna: I was forced to do it! If you really want to know, you managed to run away because I felt sorry for you since you were just a child!

Sylvie: Awww thanks! You were very kind! *She said sarcastically*

Loki: You know Ravonna, you and Mobius would make a great couple: He's a dick and you're a cunt!

Mobius: How dare you? I have always treated you with respect!

Loki: Oh so when you locked me in a TimeCell to have Sif kick me in the balls was your way of showing your respect for me?

Mobius: I thought you betrayed us!

Suddenly Loki kicked Mobius in the balls, causing him to kneel on the ground in pain.

Mobius: ARE YOU CRAZY?

Loki: Does it hurt? Imagine how I felt when I was stuck in that fucking time loop for who knows how long!

Ravonna: I think you need some chamomile tea *Said Ravonna sarcastically to Loki*

Loki burst out laughing. His laughter was hysterical.

Loki: The merciless Judge Renslayer is telling me to calm down? Are you kidding me?

Ravonna: It would be better if you stopped acting like a little bitch, don't you think?

Sylvie: You're right Ravonna. We should all take an example from you! *Sylvie said sarcastically*

Mobius: EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP! *Screamed Mobius*

Loki was about to punch Mobius, but he managed to dodge the blow. The God of Mischief and the TVA analyst engaged in a hand-to-hand fight.

Loki: You're a piece of shit!

Mobius: This piece of shit got pruned for you!

Loki: Not before torturing me! Your girlfriend couldn't wait to prune me and Sylvie! *He said referring to Ravonna*

D-90 and Casey intervened to separate Mobius and Loki. D-90 holds Loki and Casey holds Mobius.

D-90: Calm down buddy! We are all victims in this situation! *D-90 said while holding Loki still*

Loki: I'll calm down only after I smash Mobius' cute face!

D-90: He's a victim too! Stop being an asshole and act like an adult!

Loki: Why are you kissing his ass now? When Mrs. Renslayer told you to prune him you did it without a second thought.

D-90: I'm not kissing anyone's ass. I was brainwashed you idiot!

Loki managed to free himself from D-90's grip by kicking him, but D-90 aimed the TimeStick at his neck.

D-90: Don't make me do this. You know we have all been kidnapped from our realities and indoctrinated, so please calm down and listen to what Mobius has to say.

Loki: Okay but get off of me *He said with a snort*

D-90 lowered the TimeStick and Mobius began to speak.

Mobius: Like I said before, I thought you betrayed us. After what you told me I started having doubts and after verifying that you were right I came to free you. I went against everything and everyone for you. I got pruned for you. What do I have to do to make you understand that I'm sorry?

Loki: Are you trying to make me feel guilty?

Mobius: No, I'm just saying I'm sorry!

Loki: Sure *He said rolling his eyes*

Mobius: Shall I get on my knees and beg your forgiveness? *He asked sarcastically*

Loki: Why do you care so much?

Mobius: That's the dumbest question you could ever ask me.

Loki: You didn't answer though.

Mobius: Because I care about you!

Loki: Sure *He said rolling his eyes*

Ravonna: He's telling the truth, Loki.

Loki: Oh really? Like you when you said you couldn't remember what Sylvie's Nexus event was?

Ravonna: I admitted my mistakes and so did Mobius. Can we agree all that all of us have been snatched from our lives without our consent and made into puppets?

Sylvie: Oddly what you said makes sense, Ravonna.

Ravonna rolled her eyes in annoyance

Sylvie: I know, the truth hurts.

Ravonna: Give me a fucking break!

Sylvie: You and your association of space-fascists have never given me a break. You have had no qualms about arresting me when I was just a child and treating me like a criminal. All this only because basically I was a "good kid". What questions would I have been asked during the trial if I hadn't run away? What answers did you expect to get from a child?

Ravonna: I was just following orders!

In that moment Sylvie spat in Ravonna's face.

Sylvie: I've always wanted to do this!

Ravonna: Please stop!

Sylvie: Otherwise what will you do? Will you prune me, Ravonna?

Ravonna: I don't want to prune you, not anymore.

Sylvie: Oh really? Yet you couldn't wait to "finish your job", Judge Renslayer.

Ravonna was starting to get pissed.

Sylvie: What is it? Did you expect He Who Remains to reveal himself to you and compliment you on being the "most effective member" of the TVA? Did you think he would take you to his castle on a white horse? *She said sarcastically*

Ravonna: Sylvie stop it! *She said angrily*

Sylvie: Why should I? I'm having a blast! The fearsome Judge Renslayer believed that He Who Remains was her Prince Charming! *Sylvie said bursting out laughing*

Ravonna: Shut up! Shut the fuck up! *She said as she was about to punch her*

Sylvie dodged Ravonna's punch and grabbed her by the wrist and knocked her to the floor.

Ravonna grabbed Sylvie's leg and knocked her to the floor.

The blond-haired Goddess and the former TVA judge engaged in a hand-to-hand fight.

Sylvie: Poor Ravonna, she was hoping to become He Who Remains' little bitch! *Sylvie said in a mixture of sarcasm and anger*

Ravonna managed to overpower Sylvie.

Ravonna: Can we stop fighting and talk civilly? *She said holding her wrists*

Sylvie: Oooh the ultimate pruner wants to talk civily?

Sylvie was trying to free herself from Ravonna's grip, but she couldn't. While Ravonna was holding her down she remembered the exact moment Ravonna and the Minutemen squad she led abducted her, though it all happened differently. Sylvie's breathing became more labored and her face paled. She was having a panic attack. Ravonna immediately released her grip on Sylvie's wrists and tried to help her up.

Sylvie: Stay away from me!

Ravonna: I don't want to hurt you, Sylvie!

Sylvie: Bullshit! You want to prune me! You want to do what you couldn't do ages ago!

Sylvie curled up in a fetal position and continued to breathe heavily. Up until that moment the only feeling she had experienced was anger, drowning out the sadness and anxiety. All of her trauma was exploding. She burst into tears. She felt sad, tired and frustrated.

Ravonna sat down on the floor and stroked her back.

Ravonna: I'm sorry, little one. *She said feeling sincerely guilty*

Sylvie kept shaking and crying. Ravonna helped her up and they walked to the elevator.

Sylvie: W-Where are you taking me?

Ravonna: Don't be afraid, I don't want to hurt you.

The elevator reached the roof of the TVA. It was a terrace rather than a roof.

Ravonna: I used to come up here whenever I needed to clear my head, whenever I was pissed off. In short, I came up here very often.

They sat down on a concrete bench that was up there.

Sylvie: Did you come up here to admire the view?

Ravonna: Yes. It helped me relax.

Sylvie: Did you come up here that day too?

Ravonna: Yes...

Sylvie: Did you feel guilty for taking pity on me?

Ravonna: They didn't let me get away with it...

Sylvie: What do you mean?

Ravonna took a deep breath and told her how she was tortured as punishment for allowing Sylvie to run away. Sylvie was shocked.

Sylvie: Why didn't you run away?

Ravonna: Because I thought I deserved it. I was convinced that this was my place and that I had to carry out my mission at all costs, but in the end there never was any mission. After a while I started to hate you. I thought it was your fault, but in reality, you are a victim in this whole situation, as are I and the other employees of this hell hole.

Sylvie's shaking had subsided slightly, but she felt drained.

Ravonna: Are you feeling better?

Sylvie: Yes, thank you.

Ravonna: I hope that in the future you will be able to forgive me.

Sylvie took her TempPad and opened a Timedoor.

Sylvie: Follow me.

Ravonna: Where are we going?

Sylvie: Just follow me. I have to show you something.

Sylvie and Ravonna passed through the portal and found themselves in Norway. They were on the beach of Sognsvann lake. They heard the gentle sound of the sea waves and the beautiful phenomenon of the northern lights was taking place.

Sylvie placed two fingers on Ravonna's right temple and began to enchant her to restore her suppressed memories.

After Sylvie finished Ravonna was amazed.

Sylvie: Consider it my way of saying I've forgiven you.

They hugged tightly accompanied by the Northem Lights and the sound of the sea waves.

They returned to TVA and rejoined the rest of the group. Mobius and Loki had reconciled and everyone was ready to get to the bottom of this whole situation, to find C-20 and take back the most precious thing that had been stolen from them: their lives.

[greatideas-badwriter]

Worth The Risk: Chapter 1

AN: Sometimes, when reading fanfiction, I'll cringe a little when things get overly dramatic. Now that I'm writing my own, though, I'm like, "F*CK IT BRING ON THE EXCITEMENT! Ha!"

(but really, though, I'll try to reign it in and not write a damn telenovela LOL)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy Chapter One and leave lots of reviews/comments because it makes me feel good! *shameless*

Thanks!

The group of people around Sakura suddenly gasped and became quiet as she stood there, a wine glass upside down in her hand. She'd dumped its contents on the head of an unbelievably handsome man with black hair and even blacker eyes, though they were currently burning with the wildfire of rage.

When she did it, every part of her was irritated and offended, severely clouding her judgment. That said, this man had spent the past three hours tormenting the poor woman and in front of all his buddies, no less.

So when the angry fog in Sakura's mind began to clear, she didn't let the man's intimidating demeanor get to her and venomously spat, "I've never met someone so full of himself in my life. Maybe other women put up with this kind of treatment, but I refuse."

The black-haired man unfroze, lifting a brow while obviously struggling not to lose his temper. He snatched her wrist and squeezed it tightly enough that it wasn't possible to pull away, "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

Sakura swallowed her swiftly rising terror, attempting to free herself and failing, "You owe me an apology," she paused, anxiously glancing over to see Ino hurrying toward the manager's office, "…Right now."

Other patrons were beginning to gather around in the crowded Oasis bar, hushed chatter barely being masked by the loud music.

The man stood, towering over the slender woman with an aura of danger. Glaring down his nose at her, he pulled her closer by her arm, leaning in to hold her gaze, "You're going to regret what you just did."

-Five Days Prior/Monday Afternoon-

"You're new here, right? I don't recognize you." A drop-dead-gorgeous blonde woman approached a stunned Sakura Haruno. She came to sit beside her at the furthest back desk in the classroom, "I'm Ino Yamanaka. Let's get along well!"

'Is it really that easy? I haven't said a single word, and this pretty girl wants to be friends,' the awkward girl thought while nodding. "I'm Sakura. It's nice to meet you, and yes, I am new."

Ino grinned, flashing pearly white teeth while offering her phone, "Here, put your number in. Where are you from? I assume you've just moved to Oto since it's the middle of the school year."

Throughout Sakura's entire school career, from elementary to the college she's attended thus far, meeting and befriending new people has been a challenge. In fact, all the friends she left behind in Konoha only put up with her because they wanted to hang around her ex-boyfriend.

'Don't think about him. Give Ino your phone, too, or she'll think you don't want to be friends.'

"Here, put yours in mine, too!"

'God, it's obvious how fake my smile is. Get it together, Girl! If she finds out you're having a mini-panic attack, she'll realize you're a big loser.'

The twenty-one-year-old college student's social anxiety has always been a hindrance, but it's never been this debilitating. Maybe being in a strange new place with no familiar faces put her on edge, or perhaps it's fear that she will see someone she recognizes, someone she left Konoha to get away from.

"I'm from Konoha, originally. This is my first time leaving home, so if you have any pointers for surviving around here, I'd greatly appreciate it," she said while attempting to come off as calm, cool, and collected.

"No way! I was born in Konoha, but my parents moved us here before I was old enough to start school, so I don't remember it. Small world, huh?"

Class began as Sakura handed Ino's phone back, and Ino returned hers, as well. Throughout the two-hour lecture, the two girls learned a little more about one another. To the quieter one's relief, they hit it off quickly. The blonde woman was talkative and social, but she also didn't pressure the Haruno woman into responding more than she already did. It was nice and comfortable, a feeling the Konoha native hadn't experienced in years.

While leaving class, Ino asked, "By the way, you mentioned you're looking for a job. Do you want me to ask my boss if he'll hire you?"

"...Where do you work?" If the job required more than the average amount of small talk or grace, Sakura would be doomed to fail and embarrass her new friend.

"Oh, right! My bad. It's a bar on the east end of town called Oasis. I'm a waitress there. It's super easy. You just have to wear nice clothes and bring drinks to the tables. The pay is great, and you get lots of tips just for being cute, too!"

Though she was hesitant because a bar meant drunk people, drunk men in particular, Sakura nodded, "Sure. You'll text me, then?"

Ino gave her an incredulous look, "Oh, Honey, no. We're going to your place to get dressed, and I'm taking you to work with me tonight. My boss won't be able to say no once he sees you."

That's how Sakura Haruno ended up in a tight mini-skirt and a lowcut shirt, following her equally as scantily clad friend while being trained.

The moment the manager, a tall and bulky middle-aged man named Kakuzu, was introduced, he asked if she'd like a job there. When she pictured someone his age who hired college-aged women based on their appearance, she definitely didn't imagine a stone-faced, quiet man whose glare put a shiver up her spine.

'At least he's not some pervert who'd try to make a move on one of us. Well, I don't think he is, anyway.'

"If you're serving multiple people at once, you can use a tray like this one. I swear it's easier than it looks. Even if you end up dropping a few, it's not the end of the world," Ino spoke in honey-coated words while shooting a pale-skinned, dark-haired young man a wink and handing him a beer.

Sakura nodded with a tense smile, forcing herself to ignore the wandering gazes of the men in the area. Her blonde partner seemed to enjoy the attention. For the remainder of the night, she learned how the floor was divided into sections and worked on memorizing drink names and prices.

At two o'clock, the bar closed, and at two-thirty, Ino drove the woman back to her apartment, "Kakuzu said you'll get paid for tonight, too! Isn't that great? Now we can hang out at work."

The pink-haired one nodded and offered a tired grin, "Thank you for this again, Ino. You're a lifesaver."

Blue eyes winked at her as she got out of the little car and turned to wave goodbye. "Babe, I told you, it's no big deal. Want me to pick you up tomorrow, too? I don't mind carpooling. My dorm's nearby anyway."

After receiving confirmation, Ino pulled away from the curb, leaving Sakura to climb the steps up the side of the house where she was renting the top floor as an apartment. She was relieved she didn't have to go through the front door or the other tenant's home to get to hers.

She went inside, carefully looking out the door's window to ensure no one was secretly watching her before locking and deadbolting it. Once the thick curtain was in place, she turned around.

Her apartment was tiny but still looked bare because she could only bring her clothes, school supplies, and a few photos when leaving. With her saved-up money, she had just enough to buy a new bed and pay the deposit on this place. The landlord had some refurbished furniture delivered, saying it was just sitting in storage anyway, so there was also a nightstand, sofa, and a tiny dining table big enough for the two chairs that went with it.

Food would have to be scarce until she gets her first paycheck. Luckily, the college offers free lunches to all its students, so one meal a day was guaranteed every day except Sunday.

Sighing, Sakura trudged into the bathroom to shower, 'I just want to go to bed, but I don't want to get the sheets all dirty. I've been sweating in a bar for hours.' That's what she thought, but once she was under the hot water, all negative emotions on the act disappeared.

Laying in bed half an hour later, Sakura rested a hand on her stomach and stared at the ceiling while awaiting sleep to take over.

'Living alone in a new place is terrifying, but I prefer this to what's waiting for me back home.'

Rather than let her mind dwell on the nightmare fuel that was the past four years of her life, she forced her thoughts to focus on her new friend and job. 'I hope everything isn't as too good to be true as it feels. I need this to work out.'

If the pinkette loses this job and doesn't manage to find a new one ASAP, she'll be evicted from her apartment for not having rent. It's due in about four weeks. With that concern in mind, she drifted off to sleep.

-The Day "It" Happened-

Sakura felt as close to her true self as she had in years. Ino introduced her to another one of her friends, who also happened to work at Oasis. She was a sarcastic, short-tempered, yet still nice girl named Karin with blood-red hair and pretty dark eyes behind black cat-eye glasses.

Speaking of Oasis, she quickly got the hang of things in the week and a half following her hire date. Regular customers were beginning to recognize and call her by name; it no longer made her nervous to receive and deliver orders, and she'd even come to enjoy speaking to the more respectful patrons.

On this particular night, Saturday, the fourth waitress, a confident and beautiful woman named Guren, a couple of years older than the other three, called in sick. The fifth one, who wasn't scheduled to work, couldn't come in because she didn't have a babysitter for her little brother, who wasn't old enough to enter the bar. That meant Ino, Karin, and Sakura had to pick up the slack by taking turns with tables in Guren's section.

"We have a group coming in, Sakura. It's your turn," Ino chimed in while expertly powerwalking with a tray of beer glasses.

Karin piped up while also whizzing by to order a drink, "Be careful with those ones. They're pretty rowdy. Usually, Guren takes care of them."

'Oh, great. Just what I need. Troublemakers,' Sakura thought while turning to greet the group of customers in question, a smile plastered on her lips. Then, she froze in surprise.

Approaching were five men, each more beautiful than the next. Let's see, there was a quiet-looking one with long dark hair and stress lines under his eyes.

The next was taller and more muscular, with silver hair slicked back and a mischievous grin as he yelled across the bar to a woman who'd called out to him in greeting.

The following two talked to one another and seemed almost unaware that they were even in a bar. One was the shortest of the group with tan skin, red hair, and brown eyes, while the other had almost the exact same hair as Ino as well as eye color. He was so pretty that one might mistake him for a woman if it weren't for his athletic build and lower voice.

The one in the center, leading the group, had black hair, black eyes, and a smirk on his lips. His skin was clear and smooth looking, and it was evident he played some type of sport because attractive yet unimposing muscles were fighting the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirt.

"Um, follow me, and I'll show you guys where to sit," Sakura managed to get out once they were close enough to hear.

A low whistle met her ears, making her tense up, and one of the guys remarked, "Looks like there's some new blood, huh? Hey, Sweetheart, go tell Guren Hidan's here."

The pinkette turned to gesture toward the den of seating large enough to appease their group and more should they have any friends arrive. She forced a smile once more, realizing it was the silver-haired one who'd called himself "Hidan" who'd spoken because he shamelessly checked her out, "Guren isn't here tonight, so you're stuck with me. Sorry!"

While the men took a seat, she nervously interlaced her fingers behind her back, "What can I get you? Anything with Gin in it is fifteen percent off tonight."

They ordered a few bottles of wine, which took Sakura off guard because college-aged men usually go for beer or hard liquor, but it wasn't her job to question them, so she turned to procure their drinks, only to freeze when an unfamiliar voice stopped her.

"What kind of waitress are you? You didn't even tell us your name."

Turning around to apologize, she stammered nervously when the one who appeared to be leading the group smirked confidently, "O-Oh, um, I'm Sakura. Sorry again."

When she left, he didn't stop her this time but called out, "That'd better be a joke, new girl!"

When Sakura arrived at the bar, she pouted while telling the bartender, another intimidating man with dark blue hair and the physique of a bodybuilder named Kisame, "Brevante Merlot. Three bottles, please."

Kisame grinned, "Ah, you poor girl. I know exactly who you're serving. If you need me to come over and whip those idiots into shape, just say the word."

Smiling gratefully, she accepted the expensive alcohol and placed it on a tray to bring to the five men, who'd attracted the attention of a few women who joined them in their area. "I'll be right back with glasses."

"Say, new girl. What's your real name?"

Sakura paused, taking a deep breath before neutralizing her irritated expression and facing the increasingly annoying dark-haired guy, "Sakura is my real name. Now, if you'll excuse me, I-" "What kind of stripper name is that? It's like a redhead calling herself Ginger."

The woman's composure faltered, a deadpan expression meeting her face before she shook her head, smiled, and wordlessly left to retrieve wine glasses.

Thankfully, when she returned, they were all too busy entertaining women or speaking to one another to taunt her, and she successfully slipped away to check on her other tables.

After serving refills, she leaned against the bar with a look of disdain angled toward the noisy group of men, now surrounded by at least a dozen attractive women. 'They're all beauty and no decency. I should've known.'

"So, how's it goin' with the boyband?" Ino asked, giggling while handing Kisame a piece of paper containing detailed drink orders because her friend had jumped in surprise, "I'm lucky enough to have never been assigned their table. Guren says they tip well, at least. Do your best!"

A while later, when Sakura had no choice but to check in on them, the man from before asked, "I've been thinking. Are you actually a stripper? Is that why you lied and gave us that corny name?"

The silver-haired one from before laughed loudly, pulling away from two women he'd been chatting with, "Yeah, dance for us, new girl!"

Heat met the unfortunate woman's cheeks as she did her best to ignore the inappropriate comments, "I'm just here to see if you need any more to drink. Can I get you anything?"

The long-haired man sighed, "Brother, don't-" "What do you like to drink, Pinky? Get me that and join us."

'It's official. I hate this guy. He's a total douchebag!'

For two and a half hours, Sakura endured comments that gradually became more sexual until the dark-haired mine finally crossed the line. He'd managed to fluster her enough that she couldn't turn him down when he asked her to personally pour his drink. The blush had long disappeared because she was only pissed off at this point.

She'd gotten so angry that she even asked them to stop a few times, but naturally, she was ignored.

"New girl, what time do you get off? I'll pick you up."

"I don't need a ride home. Thank you, anyway." There was only a tiny drop of customer service politeness in her response. These guys, particularly the one in the middle, had worn her down to her last nerve, yet he was still talking!

"Come on! Don't be like that! Let's get out of here and go to your place. I wanna see if pink's your natural color."

Hidan drunkenly chuckled, "Bro, that's awful! How can you say that to the poor girl! She's gonna-!" She did it.

Sakura turned to face the big-mouthed man in the center and poured an entire glass of top-shelf wine on his head.

After exchanging words and him rising to stare her down with a tight grip around her wrist, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Ino arrived, the blonde hiding behind Kisame like a scared child. The manager took in the scene, speaking firmly, "Release my employee. I will ensure she's properly reprimanded."

To Sakura's surprise, her wrist was immediately free, and she stepped away from the rude man with a glare still directed his way.

"I apologize for this incident. Please allow me to cover your bill to make up for it. I'll also-" The rest of Kakuzu's professional statement didn't reach the pink-haired woman's ears because Ino grabbed her wrist and pretty much dragged her into the manager's office.

She hissed with wide eyes, looking over her new friend's appearance for injuries, "Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Now that her blood pressure was coming back down, Sakura's wrist tingled where he'd squeezed it so tightly, fear flooding her veins. In the moment, she was too worked up to pay attention to it. She would've fled the moment he tried to touch her if she hadn't been so overwhelmed. She shook her head, swallowing hard and in tears as she tried not to cry. What just happened out there was scarier than she realized.

'I was a huge idiot out there. What if that guy tries to get revenge? What if he follows me home and-!' Her thoughts were cut off by the office door opening, Kakuzu entering and fixing her with a glare, "Do you have any idea the mess you've caused? Those men are significantly more important than other customers, and you attacked one of them."

Sakura stood, Ino stepping out of the office to return to her tables, and attempted to defend herself while not coming off as insubordinate, "But, Sir, all night, they've been taunting me and saying rude things! I asked them to stop multiple times, but they wouldn't."

"If that's true, you should've come to me or Kisame and had us deal with the issue. If you'd done that, I wouldn't have to terminate your employment."

The woman's heart stopped, "...What? You're firing me?"

Kakuzu sighed, sitting heavily at his desk, "If you were more tenured, I wouldn't have to, but you're too new to make a mistake this large. I wish you well in your future endeavors. You may leave now or choose to finish the shift." He gestured to the door with one hand, the other on his temple as though nursing a headache, "Please step out of my office as I have an important phone call to make."

'I can't afford to leave without finishing my shift. I need the money.' She had no choice but to wash her face in the bathroom to hide that she'd been crying and get back to work. Karin took over the rowdy men's table and appeared to handle it much better than her.

That night, after Ino dropped her off, Sakura stayed up late applying to countless jobs, no matter what they were, because she needed to begin working within the next two days if she hoped to earn enough money in time for rent.

As the next two days passed, she followed up on the applications but either got turned down for the job, it didn't pay enough, or they wouldn't work around her school schedule. So, after returning to the apartment with no results on Monday night, she began packing her things.

'It feels terrible to fail so quickly after leaving home. I seriously don't want to go back there, but if I don't, I'll end up starving and on the streets.'

One thing she knew for sure was that it was all that handsome, dark-haired asshole's fault.

[kate-les-bridge-stewart]

Ok so I saw this gif:

and I guess I had a stroke or something cus now I wanna make a fanfic where the Dhawan master steals the sad blood robot and befriends it.

For those who dont know this was part of an art exhibit called "cant help myself" where the robot is surrounded by a pool of fake blood. Its programmed to constantly push the blood so it stays within a certain radius of itself. The thing is over time people saw the robot start to fling the blood around and act erratically. As time went on the robot started basically having an existential crisis, flailing its arm around randomly, giving up on trying to keep the pool contained, and just generally being really panicked. The project concluded when the artists came in and shut the robot down after 3 years.

Naturally I feel very strongly about this little robot babygirl and so heres a dumb scuffed crack fic treated seriously

---

The robot began to quietly hum as it slowly powered on now that it was hooked up to a power supply again. Its scoop twisted slightly as it woke from its sleep.

"Oh, good you're awake! Just let me-"

Suddenly the robot began loudly hissing and whirring as it flailed its arm in a panic. The master jumped to his feet realizing he should've seen this coming.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Easy buddy, easy!"

The robot flicked its scoop which accidentally splattered a deep red fluid across the masters chest. He stumbled back a bit before looking down at his now stained vest, his face drooping a bit in disappointment. He snapped his attention back to the robot, he could deal with his clothes later.

"Slow down ok, listen to me," the master spoke gently but firm.

The robot eventually slowed down and turned its scoop in the masters direction, though its arm was reeled back as if it thought the master would attack it at any moment. It was even visibly shaking in fear.

"That's it. Now listen, I know you're scared, you're in a completely new place but I assure you that you're safer here than you were before. Now, just hang tight for a minute while I finish hooking this up. It might tingle a little but it's just going to allow you to talk to me, if you know how that is..."

The master went back to the computer which was suspended from the ceiling. He tapped away on the keyboard, the clicks of the keys echoing off the gray walls and black linoleum floor.

The room was small and empty except for the robot in the center and the hanging computer, all illuminated with a soft warm light that was easy on the eyes. The robot had been messily hooked up to an electrical outlet on the floor next to it, its cables tangled and strewn about.

"There, now I should be able to read your thoughts," the master stood back and folded his arms, facing the robot and occasionally looking at the computer monitor.

The robot was hunched with its scoop facing the master, like a skittish starving dog cowering in the corner of a kennel.

"I'm gonna assume that big mop is like your face? Now I'm curious, where are your visual sensors?" He started walking towards the robot but it reeled back and began to shake again, prompting the master to stop after two steps.

"Ah, right. Probably should wait until you've settled," he grimaced slightly.

"Well I'm gonna leave you be for a while so you can get used to your new home. I'll be back in..." he glanced at his watch, "let's say an hour. I'd say that's a good amount of time."

The master turned on his heel to exit the room but he froze at the sound of a ping from the computer. He turned back and took 2 long strides to the monitor.

On the screen was a black background with green text formatted like a DOS terminal. There was a new message on the screen written in chinese. The system began automatically translating the characters and soon the English message appeared.

05/20/2016 13:34 > Where am I?

The master stared at the monitor in awe for a moment.

"Oh wow! You took to that awfully quick!" He smiled up at the robot who continued staring at him. Somehow despite not having a face the master couldn't shake a feeling that the robot was glaring at him.

"Well first of all, you can call me the Master. I've brought you to my humble abode I call the tardis. I'm sure you'll come to really get along with her, shes a reliable old beauty and she'll love your new company!"

The tardis hummed warmly at the masters comment, causing the robot to look up at the ceiling searching for the source of the sound.

A new message appeared on the screen.

05/20/2016 13:36 > was. That her?

"Yep! She can actually talk you see, she's kind of a robot like you, except much, much bigger and older and-... well you'll get to know her eventually."

05/20/2016 13:36 > you live in a robot?

"Well, I did say kind of for a reason, heh. She's a lot of things," he looked up at the ceiling with a suggestive grin, "and all of them are gorgeous."

The tardis whirred rapidly as if she was giggling.

When the master turned his gaze back to the robot it was staring at him with its scoop tilted slightly, looking confused.

"Oh yeah, you'll have to get used to that, we just can't help but flirt."

The robot leaned forward but paused, lifting its head a pinch before subtly shaking it in resignation.

Somehow the master felt just the tiniest sting from its judgement. Was he getting kink shamed by a robot?

"Uh- anyway! So I dont actually think you have a name, what would you like to be called?" He folded his hands and leaned forward with an expectant smile.

The robot stood still for about 2 minutes, the computer remaining silent.

Finally the robot sunk a little and a new message appeared on the screen.

05/20/2016 13:41 > I... I don't know.

"Well that's not the best name now is it?" He put his hands on his hips as he frowned sarcastically. "I'm joking, dont worry love. Now let me think of some names for you."

He pondered for a bit, rubbing his beard as he glared at the ground and tapped his foot.

"Oh! How about Sigma? It's my favorite greek letter you know, I just think it looks lovely!"

05/20/2016 13:43 > what does it look like?

"Oh, right. You've probably never seen it," he looked up at the ceiling again, "honey, would you be a dear and show our guest what Sigma looks like?"

On the computer screen a url popped up which then opened as an image on the next line.

The image was projected to the robot's mind to which it tilted its head in mild interest.

"See? Doesnt it look so clean and sleek?"

05/20/2016 13:44 > that's called "sigma"?

The master nodded.

05/20/2016 13:44 > it does look nice...

05/20/2016 13:44 > I like it.

The master clapped with a cheeky smile, "fantastic!! So from now on I will call you Sigma! Ugh I'm such a genius with names aren't I?" He practically danced around like a high school theater kid.

The robot simply stared in slight confusion.

The tardis hummed and her voice echoed in Sigma's mind.

"Dont mind them, they do odd things like this all the time."

"Anyhow, I think I'll let you get settled and maybe get to know my lovely tardis a bit. If you need me just pop a message and I'll respond through text if I can. I'll be over in the kitchen fixing myself some matcha."

And with that he left the room.

Despite still being on edge and nervous about this whole new arrangement, Sigma began to feel something different, something unfamiliar.

They felt calm.

There was no more nagging at its sensors demanding that they mop up the fluid. Jo more gawking onlookers and dead stares from soulless art critics. No more blinding light against stark white floors and walls. No more panic, no more stupid dancing for an uninterested crowd.

No more red.