#BUT I DID SOME CHARACTER IMPRESSIONS and a friend of mine said that I should try voicing this one character that went BATSHIT CRAZY

[imtryingbuck]

Told you I’ll always come back

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: 4 years ago Y/n was Bucky’s fiancé and the team thought she betrayed them

Word count: 7,772

Warnings: angst. reader can teleport ~sorta~. reader also rolls her eyes like a trillion times. major character death. swearing. pregnancy. small mention of child birth. mention of cheating. tiny mention of sexual assault. mention of Sharon (I really need to get off the sharon-hate train) guns. gunshot wounds. sad all around

Translation: голубица - dove (if wrong please let me know)

Masterlist

When Fury rang her begging asking for her to come back for one final mission, she agreed with a condition, she’d bring her old team with her. Fury accepted.

That had been two weeks ago.

Landing back in New York brought back many memories, some good - some bad and some she wish she couldn’t remember.

“Hi can you take me to Avengers Tower please?” Getting into the cab she tried desperately to calm down her nerves.

The sky was a visual of her emotions.

Dull.

Standing outside the huge impressive building she felt like she was going to be sick. It’s been four years since she was last here.

“Hi I have an appointment with Director Fury at 12” 

“That’s fine, take a seat and I’ll let him know you’ve arrived”

“Thank you” She didn’t listen to Haley the receptionist, choosing to stand instead.

Fury came down not three minutes later with a small smile on his face. “I’ve missed you - no touching I know”

“Let’s get this over with Nick. Sooner the better”

The man knew not to try and annoy her anymore so he lead her to the elevators, going up.

Her stomach squeezed tight at the sight of her former team huddled on one side of the table, with their back to her.

“Take a seat” Fury whispered in her ear.

The moment that they saw her they were already shouting out their protests, she ignored them and listened to Fury by taking a seat to sit in.

“Calm down everyone. Now!” Fury slams his hand on the table causing everyone to fall silent. “Now, Y/n has agreed to help us with a missi-“

“We won’t work with her Fury.” Steve interrupts.

“You have no other option. No one else will or can help other then Y/n”

“We’ll just do it ourselves” Tony shrugs.

“No. This is happening, if none of you can play nice then you’ll be sacked.”

“You can’t sack us” Steve says with a scoff.

“I can and I will. Now Y/n I sent you over the details of what we’re up against, did you read it?”

“Yes”

“Your team, have you briefed them on everything?”

“Yes Fury, and yes they’re happy to help”. She rolls her eyes at Tony who mocks what she had just said.

“You said in the email that you’ve already paired people up from both teams, do you want to share it?” Like her Fury completely ignores Tony’s childish behaviour.

Sliding over a piece of paper towards her former boss and friend she continues to talk “When you see them in training and you don’t agree with my decision feel free to change it-”

“Oh we will do sweetheart”

Once again ignoring Tony “You said that my team will be allowed to stay here, in the tower?”

“Yeah Peppers done your rooms up herself, you should be grateful”

Turning her head towards the man she saw as a father figure not that long ago “When I see her I’ll give her my thanks.” Sighing she addressed the rest “You have a problem with me, so you will take it out on me. Not my team, but me. Do not think for one second that just because of our history together you can treat my guys like shit. They’re good, hardworking fighters. Fury we have two weeks to train for this mission and if I find out my team isn’t being respected or treated fairly I will not hesitate to pull them and myself out, is that understood?”

Fury’s eyebrow raise as he nods “I completely understand Y/n, welcome home”.

“My team will be here tomorrow at 12, I’ll see you then”.

“Don’t you want to know what room you’re going to be in?” Fury asked.

“No, I’m not staying here.”

“Where?”

“Not here. See you tomorrow Fury”.

Making a beeline for the elevator she takes her leave, it’s once she’s outside of the building she gasps for air.

After her shower and nighttime routine she climbs into bed, her head was throbbing but all she was hoping for was a good night sleep.

It didn’t happen.

“Tony splash me with water one more time you’ll regret it!” She laughs.

“What are you going to do huh?”

“I’ll-I’ll smash up all your vinyl albums”

“Okay okay I’ll stop”

•••

“Steve wait up I’ve only got little legs”

“Sorry.”

“Can’t you just carry me?”

“Nope, come on we’re nearly there.”

•••

“Y/n will you marry me?”

“Yes, Bucky I’ll marry you”

•••

“Natty get your bum out of bed”

“Don’t want too”

“Okay, I’ll come and cuddle with you”

“Yess!”

•••

“Y/n it’s an emergency come quick”

“Sam what’s happening?”

“Come!”

She walked in on Tony fast asleep on Bucky’s shoulder.

•••

“Wand I love you, I’m gonna marry you instead of Bucky”

“Y/n/n your drunk”

“I know”

“Why you sad for?”

“I don’t know”

•••

“Bruce turn into Hulk so I can beat him up”

“Why do you want to beat him up?”

“Because… leave me alone”

•••

“Thor guess what?”

“What?”

“Your so beautiful and I hope you so much happiness”

“La-Lady Y/n,give me a hug”

•••

Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of-

Gasping for breath, she sat up in bed. It’s been almost two years since she last had a dream turned nightmare about her former team.

The red numbers on the clock stated it was 4:33 in the morning, laying back down she grabbed the remote and turned on the telly, there was no way she was getting any more sleep now.

Getting to the Tower a little bit earlier, she sat in her car waiting for her team to arrive. An hour later a text message popped up from her colleague and confidant stating they had arrived she got out of her car.

Greeting them all and introducing them to Fury who said to her.

“You could of come inside you know”

“I didn’t want to” Leaving him to sigh in response.

Introductions between both teams were done and it was straight onto business.

“So what powers do you lot have then?” Tony asks.

“None. We’re all human, Marley’s a witch though” Douglas your closest friend replied.

“Oh. So why are you here if you don’t have abilities?”

“We follow Y/n wherever she goes”

“Why? She’s a tra-“

“Tony enough” Fury interrupted. “Now on to business, the organisation going by The Lords have been on our radar for quite some time now, recently they’ve been getting more cocky” Fury turns around to face the screen, image after image of buildings up in flames, innocent people covered in blood, dead bodies littering the streets were shown to them. 

“We need to have them stopped. In just over two weeks they’ve planned to attack a government base, but we’re going to be taking the fight to them.”

“How?” Colleen - the woman who saved Y/n’s life ten years ago - asks.

“We’ve got their location-“

“Why don’t you just get them” Douglas nods his head to the team on the other side of the table “just to drop a bomb on the bad guys?”

“We need them alive so we can question them”

“Okay… but why all this man power?” Marco says.

“What is it with you lot always asking questions” Nat says with an eye roll.

Y/n sighed, looked at Fury “Marco has a point but I already know the answer, so I’ll be the one that fills him in. We should probably start the training, everyone knows what this missio-sorry I need to take this”. Getting up she answers her phone “Hi baby-“

Bucky hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of her from the moment she sat down. Her hair is so much shorter than it used to be, it suits her. A long jagged scar went across her cheek was new, he wondered how it happened. Seeing her sit there hands placed in her lap, her shoulders tensed up and a blank expression on her face makes him conflicted on his emotions towards the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with.

His heart tinged with sadness when he saw the small incrusted diamond ring with two small love hearts sitting on her finger, the finger his ring for her use to take up residence.

He wishes he could take her hand in his so he could rub his thumb over her knuckles, just like he use to whenever she was in that position as he knew it meant she was uncomfortable.

But he knew she didn’t have the right to his affection anymore not after she betr-

His thoughts are cut off as she stands, bringing her phone to her ear, greeting the person on the other end of the line with “Hi baby”.

A scowl made its way onto his face. Not that he had any right to do so.

“How are you? And don’t say you’re okay because I know better love” Douglas’s rough Scottish accent comes from next to her.

“I’m… I’ll be fine Doug, the sooner we’re done with this the sooner everything will be okay”

“Yo-you don’t have to do this, me and the team will tak-“

“Don’t. Everything will be fine after I’ve done this Dougie, you and the guys will be fine.”

They sit in silence. Doug didn’t like the plan she was going through with but he’s known her for years and knows she isn’t going to change her mind.

After training with the Avengers Y/n left, despite Fury telling her to stay and have dinner with them. Douglas left straight after the awkwardness of dinner was done, and being the only person who knew where she was staying, he headed straight there.

She brought this house for her and Bucky to live in after they retired, which they both agreed would be just before they married.

The home was beautiful, four bedrooms with two bathrooms, a large living room, kitchen with a pantry off the side of it, dinning room, an office that she had already planned to turn into a man cave for him. Two car garage, backyard was huge with a beautiful willow tree - as soon as she saw it she knew she had to have the house.

Bucky never knew about the house, she wanted to surprise him. It never happened obviously, and with a heavy heart she rented the house out.

The previous renters contract was up a month before she got the phone call from Fury, and there was no way she was going to stay in the tower. So she went to the place she wanted to call home.

“Have you spoke to them?” Doug asked breaking the silence.

“Yeah, driving Fran up the wall”. She laughs causing him to join in.

“She loves them though” He chuckles.

Nodding with a soft smile, “You should get back it’s getting late, I’ll see you tomorrow”

“You’re right” Standing up he pulls her into a hug, kissing her forehead he whispers “Don’t push me away love, not now”

That night she had the same dream as the night before, waking up at the exact same time again.

A week had been and gone, training was going good for both teams; apart for her. None of the Avengers held back, her body throbbed and ached after each session.

Today was the only day where Fury had to step in, seeing Y/n struggle against Wanda’s powers, he had to stop it.

Wanda had Y/n pinned against the wall and slowly dragging her up it, the whole room went quiet. The Avengers moved closer to the redhead whilst Y/n’s team moved closer to her.

“Mar-Marley don’t!” Y/n managed to rasp out to her friend. 

Marley though small was deadly, her powers being similar to that of Wanda’s “She’s crushing your chest!” She shot back.

“I-it’s ok-okay”

“Wanda put her down!” Fury demanded.

“No. She’s a traitor, she betrayed all of us”

“Wanda!” Fury started to get nervous for the woman being pinned to the wall.

When Wanda’s eyes shot towards Marley, Y/n grew scared. She didn’t want either one of them hurting each other. “Marl-Marley stop! T-that’s an or-order!”

“She’s hurting you. And she’s lying!”

“No she isn’t. She’s a traitor” Tony shouted.

“Admit it and I’ll let you go голубица” Wanda smiles.

Even with the pain of her chest being crushed it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the pet name slipping from her former best friends lips.

“Admit. It. Y/n.” Everyone aside from Wanda flinched at the sound of Y/n’s ribs breaking.

Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough to draw blood. She wasn’t going to give Wanda the satisfaction of seeing or hearing the pain she was going through. She held Wanda gaze, both women refusing to backdown.

“D-Doug…ge-get Marley out of h-here”.

She sees in the corner of her eye Douglas struggling to pull Marley with him. “If the little girl wants to play, let’s do it” Wanda says breaking eye contact with Y/n to look towards Marley.

“No! N-no don’t!”

“Admit it then Y/n, admit to your team that you’re nothing but a liar and a traitor” Wanda screams.

“It wasn’t her!” Fury shouted, taking in a shuddering breath afterwards.

“What?” Steve’s eyes bounce from Y/n to Fury.

“She wasn’t the one who betrayed us.”

“Liar!” Wanda screams again just as she brings Y/n’s body away from the wall, throwing her back into it.

“I’m not lying Maximoff! Now let her go!” Fury shouted.

“Sh-she betrayed u-us!” Y/n’s heart broke at the sight of the tears filling up in Wanda’s eyes.

“She didn’t lass.” Douglas says as he still struggles to gain somewhat of control over Marley. 

The hold on Y/n was released as she drops to the floor gasping for air. Her team run straight over to her as well as Fury who looks over at the other team with disappointment in his eyes.

“I-I’m okay” Y/n mumbles before succumbing to the darkness. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dr Cho asks when she sees Y/n trying to get out of the bed.

“I need to le-leave”

“You’ve just had your breast bone fractured and several ribs broken Y/n. You need to rest”

“I’m leavi-“

“No you’re not love, you need to stay” Douglas speaks from the doorway.

“I-I need to speak to them, it’s six”

“You need rest soldier, come on I’ll even stay with you, it’ll be like old times ay?” He smiled softly at the woman he respected more than anyone.

“Bu-“

“No buts my sweet girl, back in bed now” He gives Helen a nod before climbing into the bed with Y/n. “Get some rest love, I’ve got you”.

The next day Y/n wakes up in an empty hospital bed. Removing the wires from her, she stands up and carefully puts her clothes back on.

She crept out of the room and down the corridor, knowing exactly where she needed to go.

Hearing the raised voices coming from the briefing room, she took in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.

“-your concern Scottie”

“It is when the witch tries to kill my friend”.

“Friend” Bucky scoffs.

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“I see the way you look at her”

“Don’t be stu-“

“Doug stop.” Y/n says as she walks in.

“What are you doing here? Your meant to be resting”

“I’m fine”.

Marco pulls out a chair for her, gesturing for her to sit smiling at the woman who saved his life time after time.

“I’m going to say what I have to say then I’m leaving, don’t worry Nick my team will still help”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be there, can’t exactly back out of a deal now can I?” Fury’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion and Bucky noticed Douglas tensing at her words.

Sighing deeply, she closes her eyes “Sit or stand I don’t care but here’s the truth- I was the one that did betray you. I’m not sorry either”

“Y/n stop lying!” Fury says.

“…fine. It was Sharon.”

“That’s a lie!” Steve shouts.

“No it’s not. You see Steve, she was fucking you but she wanted your best friend. She wanted me out of the way, I didn’t even know that you lot were branding me as a traitor until Hydra found me several months later. Oh and I also killed Sharon”.

The Avengers sit there searching their memories from four years ago, and sure enough everything they were told was by Sharon.

“Wait what do you mean you killed her?” Steve asks.

“I put a round of bullets into her head, she was there with Hydra when they came knocking” She shrugged.

“But th-then that means you didn’t betray us?” Tony wheezes out.

“I’m many things but I’m loyal to a fault”

“I’m so-“

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any apologies. Not from any of you. Fury I’m gonna go now, I’ll see you on the day of the mission.”

Leaving the room before anyone can say anything she heads back to the house.

*Four years ago.*

The nausea was driving her insane, she was on her way back from a mission with a handful of SHIELD agents who could hear her gagging in the back of the quinjet. Nothing was happening for her though.

“Talk to Cho and see if it’s something you ate or something” Lucas said to her as she came and sat down.

“Yeah I might”

And she did just that, getting off the jet she headed straight to medical bay. Telling Helen all her symptoms the nurse tells her to undo her suit and lay on the bed.

“What the hell is that noise?”

Chuckling “That’s a heartbeat, wait no there’s two. Look-“

“What? How?…What?” She always wanted to be a mum but Bucky thought he couldn’t have children because of what Hydra did to him.

“Two strong hearts, you’re having twins Y/n congratulations darling” Helen beams.

It’s only as she was zipping her suit back up she noticed the small prodding bump. Smiling she walks through the corridors subtly touching her stomach as she goes, reaching the common room she sees her friends - her family.

“Hey, where’s Bucky?” She’s asks.

“He’s in your twos room” Steve says with a smile.

“Okay thanks” Reaching the door to hers and Bucky’s room she didn’t realise that the team had followed her, with a smirk on their faces.

Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of Bucky’s bottom half covered by the quilt moving back and forth and Natasha underneath him with her arms around his neck.

Natasha was the first one to see her, with a smirk playing on her lips she taps Bucky’s shoulder making him look at the doorway. His face completely void of showing any resemblance of emotion.

The team honestly expected Y/n to say anything, something, but not a single word comes from her mouth.

Instead she vanishes into thin air. The only sound for them to hear was her engagement ring clinking off the floor.

*Seven months after.*

Y/n did the most cliche of things, by moving to the middle of nowhere. She had a three bed cottage with acres of land.

It became her sanctuary. The one place she felt at peace, at home.

Most nights she didn’t sleep and if she did she was plagued by the images of Bucky in bed with Natasha. Tossing and turning throughout the night with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, the only thing that she had left in this world was her unborn babies and Roxy the fox that would come to see her every night.

At 8 months pregnant with the twins she was huge. She didn’t know what she was having, nor did she have a scan, which did sadden her. Luckily for her though the pregnancy was going smoothly. 

It was turning ten o’clock at night on a Thursday, she knew something was wrong when Roxy hadn’t showed up. The hairs on her arms stood to attention, Y/n could feel the air changing - becoming toxic.

“Little pig little pig I know you’re in there” A loud rough voice came from outside.

“Whatever you’re selling I’m not buying” She shouted back.

“Not selling anything sweetheart, you’ve got something that belongs to us.” The voice says again causing her to roll her eyes.

Creeping as much as she possibly could with an 8 month pregnancy bump towards the window leaving her to mutter out a quiet ‘fuck’ as she sees the two dozen men outside, armed and ready for a fight. Rolling her eyes once again at the symbol embroidered on their chest of the suits they wore.

Hydra.

She hated that she just couldn’t snap into thin air, more than ever right now. She had tried it a few times - like the time she ventured out in public to go to the store, and she was standing there in the middle of isle three when she had an accident. The most humiliating thing she ever endured. Trying so hard to disappear even as she tried to helped the young woman who worked there clean up her mess.

Even after she left the store without her things she walked as fast as she could to the beat up jeep she had, trying desperately to get it to work, nothing happened.

For weeks after that event she kept trying but always failed. It had only happened once and that was many years ago now, it was when she was shot in the leg. Her emotions were all over the place, she was only fourteen. It hit her that it was because of the twins she couldn-

“Come on Y/n you’ve got no where to run, you’ve got no one to help you, just co-come out”. A new, familiar voice was now heard.

Y/n squinted her eyes thinking of a way to not only protect her babies but the woman who had been her friend for years, the woman who she thought and believed had been abducted by Hydra and was being used to get her.

“Sharon? What are you doing here? Long time no see huh”

“Y/n they promised that they won’t hurt us, just come out”.

‘Think. Think. Oi don’t kick me right now. Come on and think’ repeating softly to herself as she looked around the room. Of course her home was littered with all sorts of weapons and ammunition but she didn’t want to be the first one to shoot just incase Sharon got caught in the crossfire.

“You’ve got five seconds to come out willingly before we start shooting. We don’t need you alive little pig just need that special little thing you stole from Hyd-“

Sharon’s safety wasn’t a priority anymore, not now that Hydra thinks her babies belonged to them. He gets cut off with a bullet in between his eyes.

“Let’s go boys” She shouts as bullets zoomed through the air one straight after the other.

Bullets tore their way all throughout her home, destroying everything she had built for herself and her babies. Holes littering one side of the home.

“No no no not that vas- goddamnit!” She mutters as her favourite vase smashes into tiny little pieces. “Now it’s personal”.

One by one the sound of heavy gunfire became more quieter, until there was only two guns firing.

She grimaces as a bullet skimmed her cheek, she readied herself to shoot again when a bullet was fired.

“Y-Y/n are you hit?” Sharon shouts.

“No, it took you long enough to help out Shaz”

“I’m coming in okay”

Y/n moved away from her position, moving towards the fireplace mantle to pick up a photo of her parents that had been hit when the door came open.

“How did they get you? Are you hurt?” Y/n says with her back to Sharon. “I’ve missed yo-“.

A gun clicking from behind her stopped her words from coming out. Sighing with an eye roll she continues her task of trying to get the glass out of the picture frame. “What are you doing Sharon?”

“What’s so important about you? Why does everyone always want you huh?”

“Hell if I know, nothing special about little ol’ me it’s quite annoying really”.

“What was Simon talking about?” Sharon questions.

“Who the hell is Simon?”

“The leader, the first one you killed”

“Oh him, I’m not sure. Didn’t he tell you when he abducted you?” Y/n could see a glimpse of her friend through the broken glass, gun ever so slightly shaking as her arm starts to tremble.

“They didn’t abduct me, I’ve been working with Hydra for over a three years now.”

It took her by surprise hearing that “Fair enough” is all she says.

“Yep, I told the Avengers that you turned rat and was betraying them and they all believed it”

“Silly twats, aren’t they?” Y/n chuckles.

“Turn around. Slowly and put your hands in the air” Sharon demanded.

“And wave them around like you just don’t care” Y/n sings, as she slowly turned around and raised her hands.

Sharon audibly gasped and stumbled backwards “Yo-you’re pregnant…”

“No shit Sherlock”

“Whose is it?”

“Bucky’s but don’t tell him it’s a secret” She winks.

“You bitch!” The blonde screams “you’ve taken my life!” She starts to pace back and forth, eyes bouncing from the gun to Y/n’s stomach.

“Not yet I haven’t…” Y/n whispers.

“I love him you know! But no he wanted you, you had him and I had to settle for Steve. And now, now you’re having the love of my life’s baby!”

Despite the situation she was in Y/n couldn’t stop the sharp tang in her heart at the sight of the tears gathering in her friends eyes. But just to be a bitch she corrected the blonde “Babies, plural”

“Y-you’re having twins?”

“Yep”

Her throat tightened as she sees Sharon’s finger squeezing on the trigger, both sets of eyes shot straight to the gun as it jams.

It all happened so fast, Y/n grabbed the gun and using the handle to smack Sharon in the face, causing the woman to fall on the floor screaming in pain. Y/n walked past her to leave her home when Sharon’s hand wrapped itself around her ankle and pulled her to the ground. Sharon was up first out of the pair and was straddling Y/n back, gripping her hair in a tight vice she raised Y/n’s head before smacking it down. Again and again and again.

Sharon finally gets up kicking Y/n’s side in the process. “I’m going to do the thing I should of done years ago, you ruined my life-“

The blonde gets cut off when Y/n kicks her legs out from underneath her, causing her to fall back down.

“You’re fucking crazy you know that Sharon, Jesus”. Ever so slowly she manages to get up, her hands going to her belly “All this for a man? You’ve really lost your bloody marbles Shaz!”

“It’s Bucky! I love him” Sharon screams.

“Yeah well so did I until I caught him fucking my best friend!” She screamed back.

The pain and confusion flashed over Sharon’s face “No, your lying”

“I’m not. God I wish I was, but nope caught him fucking Natasha”

“He wouldn’t do that to me!”

“You? He was engaged to me, you absolute weirdo. Sharon just stop alright, it’s over I’m done. You want him so badly have at him! I don’t, I don’t want to fight you anymore, so please get up off my floor, stop crying and leave.”

She watches as Sharon picks herself off the ground, who then stops as they both hear that one sound Y/n had been dreading.

Her waters splashing onto the floor.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” She whispers to herself as she looks down at the sight.

With Y/n distracted she didn’t see Sharon standing fully or her running towards her.

The punch to her stomach caused her to stumble backwards, the punch to her cheek that had been sliced open by the bullet from earlier caused her to flinch. The pain in her abdomen intensified as she sees Sharon bending down to grab the gun.

“Told you I was going to end th-“ Sharon says just before she’s cut off with a bullet in between her eyes.

Whether it was because of the pain to her aching body or at the fact she was just made to kill someone she thought was a good friend, her finger wouldn’t stop pulling on the trigger.

Even after the gun kept clicking.

“Stupid bitch you could have just left but no you had to be a cunt” Y/n shouts at the dead body laying in her living room.

Dropping the gun, her hand went in between her thighs, bringing her hand back up her heart dropped at the sight of blood.

Slowly walking to find her phone she dialled the number of the one person she trusted more than anyone in this world.

“Hi love, we’ll b-“

“Doug I-I need you. Babies are comi-“ She cuts herself off when a scream tears its way out.

“We’re on our way!”

“H-hurry.” She says just as she drops the phone as she slides down to the floor.

Doug and Fran arrived as fast as they humanly could. Both of their hearts dropped to the pit of their stomachs when they saw all the bodies lying in her front yard.

Running inside they see the body of a blonde and Y/n, legs open as she births her baby.

“Love we’re here, Doug get towels quickly” Fran’s frantic yet soft voice says.

“I-it’s the second one” and that’s when the ringing of adrenaline fades and was replaced by a cry, when they look to the side they see the tiny body of baby number one.

Neither Fran or Doug moved as they watched their friend deliver her second baby. Neither one of them could wrap their heads around the strength Y/n showed time and time again.

It shouldn’t have surprised them really.

“T-this one’s a girl, what about the other one” Y/n asked, voiced laced with tiredness.

“A boy, he’s a beautiful baby boy” Fran smiles as she picks the still crying baby up, handing him over to his momma.

“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Y/n’s eyes move from her babies to the couple in front of her.

“R-really love? You want to name them after us?” Doug asks with tears in his eyes.

“Of course, you’re their godparents after all”

*two months before Fury rings her*

Y/n makes her way through the busy streets with her head down. She can’t stop the eye roll when she notices the two agents following her.

Slowing her pace she waited for the inevitable to happen.

As the agents got behind her a black van comes skidding past, the sliding door comes open, a sack is placed over her head and she’s pushed in.

“Do you guys want me to act scared or what?”

“Shut up”.

“Feisty”

After a while the van comes to a stop and she’s all but dragged out of it.

When the sack was removed her eyes dart around, rolling her eyes for the hundredth time, she’s in an abandoned warehouse.

“Ah Ross, so good to see you. You know if you wanted to see me so badly you could have just called” She smiles at the man.

“Wanted to surprise you Y/n”

“Oh yeah no I noticed, I was so surprised I didn’t see it coming…notice the sarcasm?”. Her head tilts to the side at the sound of footsteps “Hi Fury”

The man gives her a curt nod “Y/n”

“Wanna tell me why I’m here?”

“We have proof that you weren’t the rat, you can come back to SHIE-“

“Absolutely not. I’m fine in doing what I’m doing now thanks, can I go?”

“Y/n you’re a mercenary-“

“It pays the bills” She shrugs.

Fury shakes his head at Ross when he tries to continue, “You didn’t seem so surprised when he mentioned a rat, why?”

“Bit slow aren’t you? Let me guess the one that betrayed you was…Sharon? Yep I knew, um three years ago? Yeah something like that”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Didn’t think you lot deserved the truth so, can I now go?”

“We need to tell the Aveng-“ 

“No. Don’t, look let’s just keep everyone thinking I turned rat okay? It’s the best for everyone.”

Both men look to each other before slowly nodding. “It’s so great to see you Y/n” Fury says as he tries to pull her into a hug.

Stepping back she puts her hands up “I don’t like being touched nowadays, so no touching but it’s great to see you too Nicky”

“I told you not to call me that. See you” He chuckles and making his exit.

“We need to talk Y/n” Ross sighs once the pair are alone.

“About?”

“Your old team” 

Her heart stops.

“W-what about them?” She knows exactly what it’s about.

Rubbing his hand over his face, he looks at her with sympathetic eyes. “The officials want you all to pay for what happened that night”.

“We was set up Ross! Right from the get go, it was all a fucking set up!”

“I know, Y/n I know. I tried telling them but they won’t listen to me” He speaks earnestly.

“Why aren’t they going after John?”

John Cooper, a name she hasn’t heard or spoke of or thought of for over ten years now. He was Y/n’s handler for a year, he made her go out and find people who was at the top of their game. She didn’t know why but she did as she was told to do, finding the best of the best.

Douglas - best snipper in the army. Helped that he could fight like a beast.

Marco - best hacker she had ever seen, fighter, built like a brick wall (secretly a cuddle bear).

Colleen - she saved Y/n’s life when she had been cornered in a dark alleyway neither her or her attacker saw the knife coming. No brainer.

Marley - a young girl at the time was an experiment Y/n stumbled on, she didn’t have the heart to leave her and when she saw what she was capable of doing, she brought her on board too.

Then there was Hank - the biggest mistake she ever made. He was ruthless and conniving, she thought it would work well in her favour until they all heard screaming and they saw him pinning a seventeen year old Marley to the wall and was trying to shove his hand into the girls trousers. Y/n didn’t hesitate to put a bullet into his skull, catching Marley as she fell.

John said they needed another person but she refused. There was no way she was going to bring another person in, not after what had happened.

Their mission was for them to break into a government base and download all the information off the computers, when they got there, there was dead bodies of workers.

Pulling back Y/n ordered them to leave, the moment they stepped back outside they were surrounded by the military, FBI and even SHIELD. 

That was the night she met both Ross and Fury.

“Y/n he’s dead, died in a Mexican prison seven years ago.”

“Oh…”

“I need you to tell me the locations of all four of them”

Chuckling softly, “that’s not going to happen Ross and you know it.”

“No I know-“

“If I give them me, confess to murdering all those people, tell them l was the only person that did it, will they leave them alone?” She asks desperately.

“But that’s not tr-“

“It doesn’t matter what’s true or not Ross. Will they yes or no?”

Closing his eyes he whispers “yes”.

“Let me make one phone call and I’ll come with you, right here right now”.

“That doesn’t need to happen. I’ll need your help soon, you help and I’ll make sure you get a fair trial”

“My old team walks. Free and clear, no one comes after them and I want it in writing Ross.”

“Deal.”

Shaking hands she walks back over to the van, hopping in “take me back from where you kidnapped me from”.

*Back to the present*

The first thing she did when she got into her car was FaceTime Fran who answered after a few rings.

“Hey”

“Hi, Doug told me what happened you’re supposed to be resting Y/n/n”.

“I’m fine,honestly. Where’s my little terrors?”

Laughing Fran calls for the twins, Y/n couldn’t stop smiling when she heard their feet’s pounding on the floor shouting for her.

“Here, talk to momma - I’ll talk to you after okay missy”.

“Of course. Hi babies”

“Momma” they replied in unison. To see them brought a smile to her lips, her heart ached with the need to hold them in her arms.

“Guess what bubbas!”

“What” Logan asked.

“Momma loves you both, so so much!”

“I wuv you mama” Harlow screams down the phone, making her and Fran laugh.

“Logie aren’t you going to tell me the same?”

“I wuv you momma so so so so so so much” His little face beams.

They were truly the perfect mixture of Y/n and Bucky. Logan had Y/n’s eyes whilst Harlow had Bucky’s, Harlow had her fathers smile and Logan had his mommas. The mannerisms of the pair were the exact same as their parents.

She spoke with them for close to an hour, them telling her all about their fun filled day. Saying goodbye to them pained her, she hated saying them words to her babies. Speaking with Fran for a bit she ended the call and went back to the house.

In dire need of sleep.

The rest of the week passed, Douglas visiting her most days and telling her that the team of superheroes wanted to see her to apologise, nothing was ever said back to him, leaving him hoping that things were different. 

It was the day of the mission, she rang Fran so she could speak to her babies one last time. She left the house and headed back to the tower.

“It’s important that everyone knows exactly what the plan is. Nothing can go wrong”. Fury speaks from the head of the table. “Anyone want to saying anything?”

“Yeah, Y/n I’m so so-“ Wanda tries to say.

“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over and done with, my guys- are you ready?”

“Yes boss” All answer.

“Well, good luck everyone”.

On the quinjet ten minutes later, awkwardness filled the air as both teams sit on opposite sides. No words are spoken other than the pilot saying they were taking off.

Exactly three hours twenty-five minutes and 13 seconds - she timed it - was how long it took for Tony to say something, to be honest she was shocked it took him that long.

“Y/n can we talk?”

“If it’s an apology I don’t want it, it mean’s absolutely nothing to me. If it’s about the mission, then yes we can talk.”

“We need to apologise Y/n/n”

The nickname coming from Sam’s lips make her flinch. “I don’t want it nor need it.”

The quinjet fell silent once again.

That was until Bucky broke it. “I never cheated on you”

Everyone noticed the flash of pain in her eyes, “what?”

“I never slept with Nat, we pretended in order to hurt you, ba-Y/n we believed that you betrayed us”

“Believed Sharon don’t you mean.”

“We-I didn-“

“Awesome.”

“What?”

“I think it’s funny that instead of asking me and oh I don’t know believing me, instead you all believed a desperate blonde who had to settle for the man who still pines after her dead aunt, it’s quite absurd to me really.”

“We didn’t know what to believe Y/n. You’re the one that killed Sharon s-“ Steve speaks and ultimately gets cut off.

“I only killed her because I had no other choice!”

“There’s always a choice” He spat back.

“You’re right. But that night I didn’t have one, I wish it wasn’t but she left me no choice!”

“Why did you do it?”

“Pilot how long do we have long left?” They all look baffled by her change of the subject.

“We’re nearly here Miss”.

“Thanks” turning to look Bucky directly in the eyes “when this is all over Doug can explain it to you, end of discussion.”

The quinjet lowers to the ground and everyone takes their leave, just as Y/n walked past Douglas she slides two things into his pocket before gripping his hand and smiling towards him, he squeezes her hand and leans over to place a kiss to her temple.

Bullets fly freely, smoke fill their lungs, grunts and screams are heard. Pushing forwards they all work as one.

They had only been there for less than an hour before the remaining members of The Lords surrender.

After all the intel was gathered, the prisoners on board, they hear the sound of another jet.

“What the hell?” Tony asks.

The Avengers watch as Y/n gives each of her team a lingering hug - who all apart from Douglas looked confused.

As she gets to Doug hugging him too, she whispers something into his ear that even the two super soldiers couldn’t hear, pulling back they stand to attention and salute one another.

She says nothing as she passes them and up the soldiers who put handcuffs on her.

“What the hell just happen-“ Bucky stumbles out but is cut off when the jet carrying the woman who he was still very much in love with inside exploded.

Marley screams and the sound breaks Douglas’s heart, he grabs the woman who he’s always seen as his daughter in his arms as well as Colleen who falls to her knees. Marco stands there with his dark brown eyes not moving away from the still falling parts of the jet.

The Avengers, they all have silent tears streaming down their cheeks, none of them know what to say or do. They’ve just witnessed the person who at one point they trusted more than anything, the person they all betrayed just die.

Douglas walks past them all with both women in his arms and walks straight up the ramp with Marco following behind.

When everyone’s on board the quinjet they see him sitting in the seat Y/n was occupying.

“The day she walked in on you fucking her best friend she found out she was pregnant. The night she killed Sharon, Hydra had showed up at her home wanting the babies, that scar she has-had on her cheek was from a bullet graze, Sharon tried to kill Y/n - caused her to go into early labour. Y/n killed Sharon because she had no other choice, hell she even gave the blonde bitch an out. When me and my wife got there she was in the middle of delivering her second baby.” He shakes his head sadly “the reason my best friend is dead is because of us” pointing to himself and the other three “she made a decision to leave her babies behind just so we didn’t get given the death penalty”.

Douglas pulls out the items Y/n had put into his pocket, her ring - the one with two love hearts that represented her twins, and her dog tags that also had two smaller tags with the twins names, date of birth engraved on them.

“James, she made me and my wife adopt the twins. She knew exactly what she was going to do when Ross talked to her about their deal, she said it was okay for us to let you see them. But please don’t think for one second that you’ll be able to take them away from us, because pal even if you are a super solider I’ll still kill you.”

Bucky sits there with tears in his eyes, “what’s their names?”

“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Doug tells him with a smile.

“Ca-if it’s okay with you and your wife, can I meet them?”

“You won’t try anything stupid?”

“No, god no of course not!”

“Then yeah that can be arranged.”

For two years Bucky sees the children he didn’t know existed until two years ago.

His heart dropped to his stomach when Douglas took him to the house that Y/n had brought for them to live in after they retired. It became the warm loving home for Douglas, Fran and the kids.

Bucky did retire, the day after he lost the love of his life and met his children for the first time, and not only that but he also brought the house next door.

He formed a great bond with the couple who let him see the kids whenever he wanted - which was now every day since he moved next door.

The bond he had with his children was now unbreakable. Everyday he was reminded of what he lost and lost out of just by looking at their adorable little faces. He loved them so deeply, loving them at its purest form. He wishes more than anything that he could go back in time and redo everything all over again, but since he can’t he continues to make up for lost time.

He’s sat in the living room with the kids, Doug and Fran when a knock comes from the front door, he watches as Doug goes to answer and truly didn’t think anything of it.

“Hi babies” A warm voice says.

“Momma!” The twins scream in unison.

Shooting up from were he was laying on the floor building with the Lego set Steve brought Logan, he watches his kids jump up and run over to Y/n who instantly picks them up.

She’s alive. She’s standing right in front of him. His chest tightens. She’s really here.

“H-how?” He whispers but she hears it.

“You’ve been doing so great with them, I’ve been watching” she smiles.

He walks slowly over to her as she puts the kids down and he doesn’t hesitate or think about it before he smashes his lips to hers.

“I still love you Y/n/n”

“I still love you Bucky”

The kids squeal and jump in circles around their parents as Doug and Fran hold on to each other. 

Y/n pulls away from the man she still loves after everything and picks up her big babies.

“I told you I’ll always come back”

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[selfloverrrrrr]

can you do geto nonconing monkey reader with forced breeding! would also love if you can make him a hard dom as well like he was doing reader a favor!

Plaything~

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Geto, cult leader Geto, stalking, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

Y/n's POV

"we found her, Geto-sama" a man said who was holding me. I don't know what was happening. I was in the garden when these people kidnapped me and took me here. I looked up to see who they're calling Geto-sama. I saw a guy with long black hair, sharp eyes, wearing a blue yukata.

I know him!... I've seen him before. He's the new cult leader here. Everyone says he has some supernatural powers. I saw him when he was giving a speech in my city and my friend took me there. But the question is why did he order these people to kidnap me? We've never even met each other personally! "You did?... show her" Geto said.

The guy was holding me, threw me in front of Geto. I gasped as I hit the ground. I felt a hand under my chin. Geto tilted my head up. "Hmm... impressive... you've got the right girl this time" Geto said to the guy and told him to leave. He did so.

"now now... your name darling?" He asked. "Why am I here?!" I asked. "That's not the answer of my question!" He said. "Kidnapping me in the middle of nowhere and you want me to answer some stupid questions?!" I said. He looked at me. Suddenly he grabbed my hair and pulled me towards him.

Our faces were too close. "Now listen, you're a fucking non-sorcerer just like those other monkeys... I'm not killing you just because I want you... Or else you're nothing different than those monkeys! So watch your mouth." He said. I grunted in pain. He grabbed my chin tightly digging his nails on both sides of my cheeks.

"I'm asking again... What. Is. Your. Name?" He asked. "Y-y/n" I replied. "Now it wasn't that hard, was it?" He said with a smirk. "Now your question's answer...why are you here, right?...well I saw you that day with your friend or sister I don't know... I searched for you and I found out that you're a non-sorcerer...but whatever, I can use you anyway!" He said.

"now take off your clothes" he said. "What?!" I said. "Are you deaf?... I said take off your clothes " he said. "I'm not doing that!" I said. "Still wanna talk back?" He asked. "You fucking creep... I'll tell everyone what type of creepy man you are!!" I said and stood up. He grabbed my hair from the back and threw me on the couch he was sitting on.

"bitch you're talking too much... Sluts shouldn't talk too much... they should just spread their legs!" He said and slapped my cheek.with that he pressed his lips on mine. His kiss was so rough. He started undressing me. I tried to push him away but he was too strong.

He grabbed my boob and started squeezing it and I moaned in the kiss. Hearing my moan Geto stopped the kiss and crashed his mouth on my breast. I moaned out loudly. He started sucking on my breast roughly. The more I moan the more roughly he sucks and  squeeze on my breasts.

After a while he let go off my breast. I was breathing heavily. He started undressing himself. He took off his shirt and pant. He was now only wearing his boxers. I can see the outline of his bulge through his boxers and there was a wet spot where the tip of his dick touched his boxer. Fear grabbed me by my neck.

His hand reached for my pantie and he ripped it off. He looked at my pussy hungrily. He parted my pussy lips with his fingers and crashed his mouth on it, sucking on it roughly. I moaned so loudly. I tried to push him away by pulling his hair but nothing nothing nothing. He just continued his work. He pulled back and lined himself with me."please please please no no no" I cried. "Shhh....this is the main fun part" he whispered and slammed his whole length in one slide without any warning. I screamed and grabbed his back."oh my fucking god god god god god god......ahhhhhhhhhhh" he moaned out feeling my warm wet walls around him.

His thrust became harder and harder. I was an moaning and crying mess."you are so fucking...ahhh .... tight" he moaned out. With a few more thrust I came. dig my nails on his back. Feeling my warm wall clenching around him he came within a minute. I already fainted.

"Little slut, you're lucky that I chose you to be mine..... better behave like a fucking housewife after you wake up...or else I can get rougher you know " he whispered in my ear.

Give me your requests guys...

I love when you give me your requests 💕

[accio-victuuri]

May CPNs round-up! ❤️💛💚

there is bonus content included here that i haven’t talked about separately in this blog so please enjoy!

• same apple headphones 🎧

• 5/6 zsww rumor

• genki forest ad silhouette similarities, and then it was replaced lol and sadly, they had to apologize.

• more examples of brands using the cp tactic ( allegedly lol )

• same city @ beijing 5/12/2024 but didn’t last long cause wyb had to fly to shanghai for the olympic qualifiers.

• jamy wee jeans

• fake story of wyb giving gifts to the ADLAD team and him visiting the crew which led to more people sharing some of their own szd stories that i didn’t add on the main post so i’m adding here instead. i think this started some conversation on what people heard irl about the two & how those who don’t really follow this pairing have encountered them. whether that means they are in a romantic relationship or not, we don’t know. these are all fake!!!! 💀💀💀

Let me tell you a story. A friend of mine told me that one of her college classmates participated in a hip-hop dance competition (SDC). Although she didn’t get a particularly impressive ranking, she was one of the top 100. Then she saw Xiao Zhan, and everyone knew that they were in a relationship, so they didn’t hesitate to visit him on set. What I said is just a rough estimate. I don’t have a membership so I can’t send pictures. I can swear that what I said is true, not a single word is fake, unless my friend lied to me, but I believe in my friend’s character

I'd also like to contribute a relatively old story, although many people should know it hahaha, that is, the two of them share resources. Someone around my friend is a staff member, and has read the confidentiality agreement of Zan Studio, which seems to say that there can be no conflict of interest with Bo, and to satisfy Bo to the greatest extent. Because Zan has a studio, resources are more free, and if there is something suitable for Bo, he will contact him directly. ( this was in 2020 )

Then I will also share my own experience. I participated in a New Year's Eve party. The lady sitting next to me is from the industry. She is not familiar with Bo Xiao, but the artist she knows has a good relationship with Xiao Xiao. The artist told her that Xiao had a boyfriend in the CQL crew. The artist told Xiao not to date him. Xiao Zhan said firmly, "I will not break up with my boyfriend."

I'll tell you one, my friend's sister is Jixiangkong's assistant, her sister doesn't like xx, um, she's a wyb fan, my friend knows I'm a fan and told me that her sister took a photo with wyb, I asked her indirectly to find out, she said her sister refused to tell, it was around 2019, she suddenly told me that her sister was a little bit abnormal, one day she said for no reason that wyb has turned gay.

My friend is a director of a certain Spring Festival Gala, and his family also works in this field. He has some connections. He used to think I was a fan of him and told me not to be a fan because he likes men. (To prevent screenshots, I can't say whether he is older or younger)

I'll also contribute one. My friend's dance teacher has been with the CQL crew, and after knowing that my friend likes Xiao Xiao, she told my friend that they were dating in CQL. My friend was almost broken. (She wf) ( wf means weifen = solo fan )

• a more comprehensive post about the airpods max cpn 🎧

• 5/14/24 xz’s selfie candies and i forgot to add another bit here, particularly the view from the window— it’s the backdrop for yibo’s chanel magazine cover. i would imagine it’s a popular scenic view but i’m just putting it out there 📷

then after the selfies, xzs released a short video of that day when it was taken. people did cpn of course but i’m just adding those here. so what we noticed is the two birds at the start, lovebirds? and then panning to xz who some say hid his phone or was looking at it then took it away because the camera was on him.

then a very galaxy brain one, and a total coincidence — outside the car, a police car passed by and people are like omg fpu ( formed police unit ) lol. but like if you watch that part, it was a perfect shot.

then some fans noticed similarities with the shots from wyb’s b&w photography 📷

• this next one is not really a cpn but more of me being proud of them and the works they produced. their popularity/traffic is important & definitely has helped them get projects, but we know that they give it their all when it becomes to being actors. the photos below are of the chinese films booth in cannes with both their movies and then the May schedule of their dramas’ reruns in satellite tv networks.

who would have known, they were once these two newbies who wanted to become actors and here we are — both of them have a solid body of work. 🤍

• clowning related to xz’s legend of zanghai poster

• 5/15 candies that revolves around wyb’s performance for the olympics opening. most especially his green + pink shoes 💕

• evisu x palace shirt that sneakily has their names on it

• 5/16 LRLG post and interpretations and then add-on speculation of relating this to the milan vlog and what some shots could mean

• their tissue endorsements matching so well. 💙♥️ and representing their cql character colors too!

• 5/20/24 zsww fake rumor - new clothes for jianguo, bickering and eating spicy food

• numbers playing for 520. 9785 and 828

• palace x wedgwood collab 🍓

• cpfs having discussions and comparisons to yy’s scandal to prove that bjyxszd

• 5/23/2024 fake rumor house

• XZ’s look for an endorsement Ad ( Liushen ). the whole fit and even the brand used screams WYB! 😂

• rumor compilation from 给博肖加点小料bot. from the past dates 2/24, 3/3, 3/26, 4/3, 4/29, 5/21 and 5/29.

• xz buying mcdo toys 🍔

• in the li-ning video released 5/31 xz was asked if he plays badminton and what he does during off times and the first thing he said is talk to his friend(s). who is that friend? is this the friend from the crew? 😜 no seriously. then after that he mentioned playing badminton, running and keeping fit. but the fact that he said talking to his friend? wow.

• the pink wedding theme potential from xz’s evelom outfit 💕💕🌸🌸

<<< previous month

[yukirayu]

Madarame's Route and the Few of Its Many Mistranslations

I haven't done this in quite some time, but I'll be giving some more TL comparisons between the original JP release and the localization, because an anon from Retrospring shared some tidbits from Madarame's route.

Because they have also explained what nuance got lost, briefly or otherwise, I won't do what I did in my previous posts (compare with MTL) just basically compile each translation discrepancy in a subsequent order, and add their notes in each one.

 Toono: "...Thought he'd never die." 「……しぶとい野郎だ」-> ["......Stubborn bastard."] NOTE: I sense someone is probably holding on to some unresolved resentment, LOL

Towa: "You were always like this. Are you satisfied now that you've ruined my life?" 「あんたは昔からそうだ。引っ掻き回して満足か？」　-> ["You have always been like this. Are you satisfied with the violent chaos you caused?"] NOTE: 引っ掻き回して appears to be an idiom meaning to "disrupt order through violence."

Madarame: "To hang out with friends." 「うろついてる連中と遊ぶんだよ」​ -> ["I'm going to play around with the people hanging around."] NOTE: Madarame has nobody he'd call a friend so the English line seems so out of place that it was easy to notice.

Madarame: "We had a lot more fights after that. Sometimes we came close to killing each other for real. But he still didn't back down." 「それからも喧嘩して、半殺しにしてやった時もあった。だが、アイツはそれでも向かってきた」 -> ["We'd fight from then on, and there was a time I beaten him half to death. However he'd still come at me."] NOTE: Well, someone was envious of Madarame's absolute power. LMAO

Madarame: "Stoop to an idiot's level and he'll beat you with experience, you know. Then after that..." 「馬鹿の相手をしても時間の無駄だから��。そうしたら……」 -> ["Because it's a waste of time to deal with idiots. Afterwards......"] NOTE: The English line is some dumb phrase I've seen on the internet. I get the feeling that the phrase was used against the person who put it there. XD

Towa: "...If I was a chick, I'd have ditched you by now." 「……俺が女なら腰が砕けてるところだ」 -> ["If I was a woman then my knees would have given way.] NOTE 1: 腰が砕けてる seems to be an idiom, it could mean like what it literally says, or to collapse/give up/lose one's nerve/to have one's knee's give way. NOTE 2: Wouldn't be surprised if the people who changed it hated Madarame (that's the impression I get), I just find that hilarious that they'd probably be seething and crying over a fictional character. Madarame ain't real, but he is already giving real people slow damage. LMAO.

I have to say though, it's rather obvious that while the one behind the localization seemed to dislike almost everyone with how their dialogues got butchered, Madarame's route really takes the cake, or whatever is the most unpleasant dish you can think of, in this case.

A JP-fluent of mine also mentioned how Madarame's route got the worst of the questionable translation choices, saying that Madarame's speech doesn't really have him cuss or talk that crassly. And it didn't surprise me that the H-scenes were done poorly, almost deliberately, even.

Now, this was what I replied to that very last statement OP had made, which I felt I should also share here... Even with a proper translation, I can easily see Madarame being divisive among fans either way.

He's meant to be something of an antagonist (not a villain) and while there's an intended goal in his route, said route still isn't exactly the easiest to swallow. Even so, a translator letting their bias affect their translation is already one giant misstep.

[girl-named-matty]

Hogwarts Legacy characters and my first impressions of them pt.1

Semi-in order of when you meet them.

Eleazar Fig: Cool guy, seems to care a lot about me so that's nice.

George Osric: This guy is TOTALLY the villain. Why would he just come out of nowhere and be acting so weird and like he doesn't want anyone else to hear what he has to say? (LOL sorry George 💀We all know how that ended)

Ranrok: Naww who is this- DID HE JUST KILL THAT GOBLIN?!

Professor Black: Annoying. Annoying, Annoying, Annoying. GO AWAY.

Professor Weasley: She's awesome, super sweet, and she's in Gryffindor and I'm in Gryffindor so that's nice. Oh, wait a Weasley???

Cressida Blume: She's cute. Has cute freckles.

Nellie Oggspire: I need to be her friend IMMEDIATELY.

Garreth Weasley: Oh this guys a cutie--OH SHOOT HIS LAST NAME IS WEASLEY.

Natty Onai: Her name is Natty... and mine is Matty... We now we HAVE to be best friends.

Professor Ronen: Oh, he seems like fun!

Sebastian Sallow: Woah wait why are they fighting. OH SHOOT IS THAT GINGER KID ABOUT TO DIE- Oh, never mind. Was this guy allowed to do that? Is he gonna bully me? Should I be suspicious of him? Oh, well either way he's kinda cute.

Professor Hecat: Oh, she's cool.😎

Lenora Everleigh: So cute and has a very beautiful name.

Sirona Ryan: An absolute queen. Gave me free butterbeer and she seems really considerate of the other shop keepers. Oh and she defends me so yeah absolute queen.

Victor Rookwood: Uhh who is this guy? Oh shoot wait is he supposed to be another villain? His top hat is kinda goofy ngl. Also what kind of a threat is "Can't drink butterbeer forever?". I don't know whether to be intimidated or to laugh. Maybe both?

Theophilus Harlow: MY EYEESSSSSSS! 😭😭😭 (Sorry but he looks nasty)

Professor Garlick: OH SHE CUTEEEEEEE.

Leander Prewett: Oh I HATE THIS GUY GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! SEBASTIAN SALLOW SAVE ME. PROFESSOR GARLICK HELP. (I promise I have changed my ways and I now love him)

Professor Sharp: OoOooo he looks intimidating but he is very handsome.

Amit Thakkar: CUTIE RAVENCLAW!

Andrew Larson: ANOTHER CUTIE RAVENCLAW! (throwing him in here now bc I'll tell you guys I didn't even know he had a name until like six or seven+ months ago so I got my first impression of him online LOL)

Lucan Brattleby: This kid looks fire. He's my little brother now and nobody can stop me.

Eric Northcott: He hasn't said a single word yet I do not like him. (Sorry Eric girlies)

Ominis Gaunt (1): Why does this guy keep talking to me in the hallways. Is he mad at me? WHAT DID I DO?! Oh, shoot wait is he blind? CAN HE SEE WITH HIS WAND??? DAWG THIS IS AWESOME. also he's really pretty.

Richard Jackdaw: Why does he look and sound exactly like Garreth? Is this another Weasley I don't know about?

Madam Kogawa: She looks cool. Kinda intimidates me tho and I have no idea why.

Everett Clopton: His voice is kinda annoying and we got in trouble but he did teach me how to go super fast on a broom so I'll give him that much.

Deek: AWWW I LOVE THIS GUY!!

Ominis Gaunt (2): WHY DID YOU YELL AT MEEEEE?😭IM NOT GONNA TELL ANYONE ABOUT THE UNDERCROFT I SWEAR. 😭😭

Percival Rackham: Don't like him. I don't know why but I do not like him.

Professor Howin: ...is that dodo bird actually gonna attack me or are you just saying that-

Poppy Sweeting: Aww she looks cute. She is very small but obviously that doesn't stop her from defending beasts from bullies LETS GO! Oh also she's got a cool hippogriff friend!

Imelda Reyes: Oh, I am going to beat her time by a LANDSLIDE just because she said that to me. (rivals to lovers fr)

Lodgok: Oh he seems really nice for helping us but should I be suspicious of his connections to Ranrok?

Gladwin Moon: Saw this guy earlier and he was acting weird. And now I figure out it's because of some statues. Can this school get any weirder?

pt.2 coming soon 👀

[dramavixen]

watch this! – provoke

In times like these, when so many high production-value dramas vie over the spotlight with their intense plots and flashy names, you occasionally need a low-budget show that's just vibing in the corner—a bit of a wallflower and rough around the edges, but it's doing its own thing, doing it quite well, and will provide respite for your overwhelmed brain.

What is Provoke?

A romance-revenge webdrama set in the Republican era. A woman marries the geezer responsible for her parents' death, plotting to ruin him and restore her family's sullied name. Said geezer's son becomes suspicious of her and decides that creating the greatest amount of sexual tension possible with her is the best course of action. Also, he clearly has plans of his own since he's not the guy's real son.

This show is as cheesy and melodramatic as it gets and none of it can be considered logical. It's awesome.

Why watch?

--

We be trendsetters

You got your friends-to-lovers and enemies-to-lovers stories. As timeless as those tropes may be, might I suggest "stepmom-to-lover" as the new trend? (Or how about all three at once?) It's fresh! It's forbidden! It's so ludicrous that the mere existence of the premise is spicy!

In my personal opinion, the execution should have been much spicier. I only very gently clutched my pearls when what I wanted was to feel scandalized through every blood vessel of this tiny body of mine. But alas, I can't bring myself to dislike the love story we did receive. I graciously accept all over-the-top romances.

Ahem. What I meant to say was, ew, gross. What kind of weirdo thought that such an offensive idea could make for good television? Someone classy like me would never.

--

That romance story you wrote as a twelve-year-old after watching an episode of a soap opera...this is that

Rain pours down against the window. A pretty young woman sits in front of her vanity, brushing on a thick layer of makeup even though it's time to go to bed.

Lightning sets the skies aflame, outlining a silhouette that appears in the doorway. It's him, the dashing young master of the household. His dark eyes glint as he leans awkwardly against the wall in an attempt to come off as intimidating. He's soaked from being outside the rain and drops of water fall from the tips of his hair. He kind of looks like an infuriated feline.

She stands when she sees him. He crosses the room.

"What are you—" she stammers, her words catching in her throat as he corners her against the vanity and wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her body against his. He grabs her wrist with his other hand and pins it to the table, knocking over an open container of rouge. Its contents burst into a firework of glimmering powder.

His face is close enough that she can feel his breath on her cheek. She tries to lean away from him, but he's too strong. He is a lion, and she a gazelle.

"Have you forgotten?" she says as she struggles against him. "I'm your father's concubine."

"And have you forgotten?" His voice is deep; some might even consider it sultry. "I'm the one who brought you into this family."

They stare at one another. Then he brings his lips crashing down on hers, or whatever the standard cliché for "kissing" is nowadays.

Such goes the first few minutes of the first episode, which also happens to be what's pictured in our provocative poster. Wait until you see the whole scene.

My fanfiction past feels so seen right now.

--

There is exactly one brain cell present

You think that because this is a revenge drama, you're going to get a super intricate plot? Heck no. We don't have the time or brainpower for that, remember? We're here for the fun of it.

Everything about this show is smooth sailing because all of the characters are of mediocre intelligence and ability. Your brain does not need to be in operation at any point. Our female lead? She's probably the smartest one, but it's not like that's impressive when her husband is oddly easy to seduce. His actual wife tries so, so hard to be mean to the new girl in the house but fails with flying colors. Meanwhile, the male lead spends most of his time making heart-eyes at his dad's new concubine. It's like watching a bunch of wild geese chase each other and somehow accomplish things along the way.

--

[insert pun about chemistry and chemistry class here]

These two lead actors could perform all the tropes in the world and I would love it. They bulldoze through a lot in this show and every moment has me grinning like a total creep. That's what low-budget dramas bless us with: shameless clichés. They don't need to make up excuses for why a bridal carry or eye contact that lasts ten minutes exists. After all, we know what we're here for: to satiate our cravings for unrestrained, cheesy-as-heck romance.

The level of acting is higher than you should ask for from a production of this scale. The tension between the two is palpable at every moment, and they truly bring their characters to life. It helps that they're very easy on the eyes. I mean, just look at this pair of bloodthirsty impostors:

When they start falling for one another...oh boy. My weak heart.

--

Cinematography 101

I would include screenshots of how stunning this drama is, but I'm not sure how many would do it justice. The set isn't particularly breathtaking and there aren't many flashy assets otherwise, but the director makes smart decisions with what he has to produce fantastic results. A lot of it is based on motion, which is why still screenshots can't really suffice in displaying his techniques.

Nifty camera angles or tricks aren't what caught my attention, but the combination of basic props, movement, and lighting did. A lot can be accomplished through simplicity to craft a specific atmosphere, which is exactly what makes this drama feel like a large-scale production. You really have to see it in motion to believe it.

--

I'm going to be humming the theme song to myself for the next week as I get this drama out of my system. It grabbed me by the throat and dragged me from the depths of my drama slump. Maybe I need to relive my tacky romance phase.

[mcrdvcks]

Down Bad - Chapter 9

Chapter Summary: After helping Phee with a mission of hers, she offers to take the squad to her home away from home.

Word Count: 5.3k+

Pairing: Hunter x fem!Jedi Original Character

Notes: and here we are! this one kinda of ends on a cliffhanger- or rather, ends the same way episode 14 does. i'll try to post the next chapter tomorrow so there isn't a long wait in between!

Series Masterlist - Chapter 8 → Chapter 10

AO3 Link For Chapter

Amina sat in the pilot’s seat as Tech sat in the back of the cockpit playing a game on Gonky’s head. The droid honked, “yes, I am playing against myself. It is the only time this game is a challenge.”

“Amina, Tech, we need a pickup.” Hunter spoke through comms.

Amina sat up straight as Tech moved to the co-pilot’s seat, “on our way.” Amina replied. She flew the Marauder to the cantina where Hunter, Wrecker, Phee, and Omega were. The group got onto the ship, with a few blasters firing at them as Amina took off.

“Now that was a fun mission.” Omega said, as they flew through hyperspace.

Wrecker sat down in the seat next to Omega, “you got that right.”

Phee stood in the cockpit while Amina, Tech, and Hunter were sitting. “You know, Omega was pretty impressive back there.”

Hunter turned around to Phee, “her training’s paying off.”

“Oh, I know she’s got the whole soldier-thing down. But don’t you think she should learn some other skills?”

Hunter turned to fully face Phee as Tech glanced over as well, “what other skills?”

“Omega spends all her time with you four. She needs friends. Ones her own age and who don’t share her genetic profile.”

“We never had such a thing.” Tech countered. “I do not see the issue.”

“No kidding.” Phee sarcastically replied, as the comms on the ship started to buzz.

Amina looked at it, “we’re receiving a transmission from Cid.”

“Let’s hear it.” Hunter said, before standing up.

Hunter and the guys told her about what happened when they had mined the ipsium, and the planet they were on when they encountered the Zillo Beast, which lead to them cutting their ties with Cid when Amina was on Tatooine.

Like she’s said before, she doesn’t trust Trandoshans.

Wrecker and Omega walked into the cockpit as Tech turned on the recorded transmission. “So, it’s been 20 rotations and no word. You better be dead because your absence has cost me a few scores. Remember our mutually beneficial arrangements, and how well we know one another, if you know what I mean. You’d do well to not assume I am just threatening you boys.”

The transmission turned off as Phee glanced over at Hunter, “you didn’t mention you cut ties with Cid.”

“Our mutually beneficial arrangement wasn’t so beneficial, mutually.”

“Figured that out, did you? I’ve known Cid a long time. She’s a useful ally, but not someone you want to cross. Do you have a plan?”

“You’re looking at it.” Hunter replied.

Phee took a short few seconds before responding, “in that case, you all are coming with me.” She got up and walked over to Tech in the co-pilot’s seat, “head to these coordinates, brown eyes.”

---

They landed the Marauder on top of a large mountain, as Phee walked out first, “welcome to Pabu, my home away from home. It’s a hidden sanctuary of sorts. That’s the Archium. It’s where the artifact will be stored. It holds treasures from all over the galaxy.”

Tech tapped on his datapad, “my analysis indicates that this so-called artifact you recovered is of very little to no monetary value.”

“Treasure can mean many things. Most of the villagers on Pabu are refugees. Many of the items I recover are remnants of their cultures, and that’s worth preserving. After all, I am a liberator- ”

Phee got cut off by a man walking towards them, followed by a young girl, “liberator of ancient wonders. About time you showed your face around here.”

Phee walked over to the man and gave him a quick hug, “miss me, Shep?”

Wrecker elbowed Tech, “you’ve got some competition,” he laughed. Amina held back her own laugh at Wrecker’s comment, also noting the confused look on Tech’s face.

“Auntie Phee!” The young girl called out, as she hugged Phee’s waist. “What’d you bring this time?” Phee knelt down and took out the green tree artifact from her satchel. “Looks like one of a kind.”

“Good eye.” Phee replied.

Shep looked over to the group, “that’s not all you brought, I see.”

Phee stood up and walked over to the group, “this is Shep Hazard, Mayor of Pabu, and his daughter, Lyana. Shep, Lyana, meet Omega, Amina, Hunter, Wrecker and Tech.”

Shep walked forward and shook each one of their hands, saying welcome to each of them. When he got to Wrecker, he gripped Shep’s hand firmly, “put her there!”

Lyana walked shyly over to Omega, “Phee’s never brought any friends here before.”

“Never? Not even Cid?”

Phee walked over to the two young girls, “nope.”

“So why bring us?” Hunter questioned.

“Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”

“She must really like you,” Lyana muttered to Omega.

“All right. That’s enough out of you.” Phee scolded playfully.

“Then it’s settled. You’ll join us for dinner.” Shep announced.

“There’s no saying no to Shep’s famous feast. Lots of food, drink, and general merrymaking. You’ll probably hate it.” Phee gestured at Tech. “It’ll be great.” She turned back to Shep, “lead the way, Shep. I’ll catch up.”

They all made their way to follow Shep, as Omega and Lyana ran in front, with Lyana showing Omega a few things along the way.

Amina looked around the mountainside they were walking on, her arm threaded through Hunter’s. It was… quiet. Not just physically, but she hadn’t felt Vader poking around her head since they got here. It was like a weight lifted off her shoulders.

"Feels peaceful, doesn't it?" Hunter remarked, breaking the silence as they walked side by side. His voice was soft, almost a whisper, as if he didn't want to disturb the tranquility of the moment.

Amina nodded in agreement, a small smile playing on her lips as she glanced up at him. "Yeah, it does," she replied, her voice equally hushed as she savored the serenity of their surroundings.

They walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound being the gentle rustle of the wind and the occasional chirping of birds in the distance. Amina felt a sense of calm wash over her, a rare moment of peace in the midst of their turbulent lives.

Hunter tightened his grip on Amina's hand, his touch warm and reassuring as he leaned in closer to her. "I'm glad we're here together," he murmured, his voice filled with genuine affection as he looked into her eyes.

Amina's heart fluttered at his words, a warmth spreading through her chest as she returned his gaze. "Me too," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper as she leaned in closer to him.

Their lips met in a tender kiss, a silent exchange of love and affection amidst the quiet beauty of their surroundings. Time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in each other, the world fading away until there was only the two of them, together in this moment.

Eventually, they broke apart, their breath mingling in the crisp mountain air as they leaned their foreheads together, savoring the closeness of their embrace.

"We should probably catch up with the others," Hunter suggested, his voice soft as he reluctantly pulled away from Amina's embrace.

Amina nodded in agreement, a reluctant smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she reluctantly let go of Hunter's hand. "Yeah, we don't want to keep them waiting," she replied, her voice tinged with regret as they began to make their way back to the group.

They walked to the edge of the mountainside, looking over the concrete railing, “Upper Pabu is the oldest part of the island. As we’ve grown over the years, we’ve expanded below the wall into Lower Pabu.” Shep said to Wrecker and Tech, as Amina and Hunter caught up to them.

“Hi, Shep.” An old man said, stopping next to Shep.

“Hi, Mr. Eenta. How are Sari and Micha?”

“They’re doing good. Thanks for asking, Shep.” The old man started to walk away.

Wrecker scoffed, “well, uh- do you know everyone here?”

“Of course. We’re all like family.” They followed Shep to the outside of his house, where a large table and chairs stood, “make yourselves at home.” He spoke.

They all went to the ledge, looking out at the houses in the distance and the bright blue water. Amina gulped, looking at the water.

“I thought you weren’t afraid of water?” Hunter teased.

“I- I’m not. I just… that’s a lot of water all the way down there.”

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Hunter remarked, his voice breaking through Amina's thoughts as he stood beside her, his gaze fixed on the shimmering blue waters below.

Amina nodded slowly, her eyes still fixed on the horizon. "Yeah, it is," she replied softly, her voice tinged with a mixture of awe and apprehension. "But it's also... overwhelming."

Hunter turned to look at her, his expression softening with understanding as he took in the conflicted emotions written on her face. "Hey, it's okay," he said gently, reaching out to gently squeeze her hand. "Maybe… maybe I could teach you how to swim?”

Amina faced him, “you… would? Even if I might scream?”

Hunter met Amina's gaze, his eyes softening with a tender smile as he nodded. "Of course I would," he replied sincerely, his voice filled with warmth and reassurance. "I'll be right there with you every step of the way. And if you scream, well, I'll just have to scream louder to drown you out."

Amina couldn't help but laugh at his playful response, feeling a sense of comfort wash over her at his unwavering support. "You're ridiculous," she teased affectionately.

An animal climbed down a small pole in front of Omega and Lyana, before jumping on the ground with two more following.

Omega and Lyana walked over to them, but kept a little distance apart from them, “they’re called moon-yos.” Lyana said. “The elders say they’ve lived here since before Pabu was inhabited.” A moon-yo climbed onto Lyana’s shoulders, as Omega held an arm out and the moon-yo climbed on her.

“I have not heard her laugh like that in some time.” Tech observed.

Omega and Lyana followed the moon-yos to the gate by the wall as Amina and Hunter walked over to Shep, who brought out a platter for the table.

“Phee said the villagers here are refugees.” Hunter said.

“Many yes.” Shep placed some plates down on the table, “Pabu has been a safe haven for those forced to flee their homes during the war and others after.”

“And you’re not worried the Empire will show up?”

“Why would they? We’re a remote island with limited resources. But if they do, we’ll manage.” Hunter and Amina’s gaze traveled to Omega and Lyana, who were playing with one of the moon-yos. “Some come to Pabu looking for a clean slate. A chance to start over.” Shep continued, placing his hand on Hunter’s shoulder, “as a parent, you couldn’t ask for a better place to raise a child.”

Shep gave Amina a small nod as well before he made his way back inside. Phee came over to them, “something to think about, isn’t it?”

“You’re suggesting we all stay on Pabu permanently?” Hunter asked. The three of them turned to look at Omega and Lyana, the sounds of laughter filling the air as the moon-yos climbed on the two young girls.

The scene in front of her reminded Amina of the conversation she had with Obi-Wan just a few rotations ago. That it was okay if being a soldier, or a Jedi wasn’t something she had to do for the rest of her life.

“She seems to like it here. A little stability might do you all some good.” Phee said, cutting off Amina’s thoughts. Moments later, Shep came out with a few more platters as they all sat down to eat.

Hunter had placed his right hand on Amina’s thigh as Omega looked over the wall to the water, “you have your own boat?” she asked Lyana excitedly.

“Uh-huh. You wanna take it out and watch the sunset?”

Omega gasped, “really?”

“That sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it?” Phee asked, looking at Hunter and Amina.

“Can I go?” Omega asked eagerly.

He looked over at Amina who gave a small smile and looked back at Omega, “have fun.” Omega and Lyana walked out of the balcony to go down the mountain to the boat.

Wrecker groaned as Hunter looked over at him, “what’s with you?”

“I’m full. I am never full.”

“I will note the date and time to commemorate such a momentous occasion.” Tech said, pulling out his datapad.

Amina let out a small muffled laugh as Wrecker glanced at Tech partially confused. Shep walked out with another platter, “hope you saved room for dessert.” Shep said, as he lifted the lid from the platter.

Wrecker gasped, “I love this place!”

---

Tech and Phee stood by the railing, while Wrecker and Shep stood by the table, and Amina and Hunter stayed seated.

Hunter took a sip of his drink before turning his gaze to the moon-yos on the ground, who looked up and ran away chittering. He stood up, walking to where Tech and Phee stood looking at the water and buildings.

“What’s wrong?” Phee asked.

Hunter looked back at Wrecker and then back over the balcony. “Something’s coming. We need to- ” A loud rumble ran underneath them, causing buildings to shake and the ground to be unsteady beneath them.

Hunter grabbed his comm, “Omega, come in. Are you two okay?”

“We’re fine. We’re headed back to shore now.”

“Everyone all right?” Shep yelled out.

Wrecker stood up, “well, that was different.”

“Uh, a small tremor. It’s nothing to worry about. Part of island life.”

Hunter shook his head, “I don’t think it’s over yet.” Hunter said, as a more violent tremor occurred, causing screaming, cracks in buildings, and more things to fall down. “That was not a small tremor.”

“No, it was not.” Shep replied.

“Hunter, I believe this island is at risk for a significant sea surge.” Tech said, looking up from his datapad.

“How much risk?”

“Highly probable to imminent.”

“We haven’t had a sea surge in more than three decades. If we were at risk, the early warning system would’ve activated. And- ” A loud siren cut Shep off.

“I don’t like the sound of that.” Wrecker commented.

Shep grabbed the binoculars and handed them to Tech, “the water has already begun receding. We must evacuate all of Lower Pabu.”

“Lyana and Omega, they’re on the water.” Shep added warily.

“Amina can grab them, us five will move everyone in town to higher ground.” Hunter ordered.

---

Amina started her way up the mountain, following the rest of the crowd as she made her way to the Marauder.

“Hunter, Amina, we’re in trouble. There’s a giant wave coming, and we’re too far out. What do we do?”

Amina brought the comm up, “keep your locator on, and head to shore quickly. I’m on my way.” She ran through the crowd as fast as she could before reaching the top and getting onto the Marauder. “Omega, I’m on the ship. Hang on.”

Amina took off, blasting the engines going towards the shore, “I see you. Grab the line.” She pressed a button as the line on the ship descended, with Omega and Lyana grabbing onto it as Amina turned the ship away from the high tide and away from the shore.

---

Daylight came as everyone from Lower Pabu stayed gathered together on the top of the mountain. Omega, Lyana, and Wrecker fell asleep against the large tree in the center as Hunter and Amina stood by Shep. “We got everyone out in time. That’s what’s important.” Shep said, as Tech and Phee walked over.

“Based on my estimations, it will take several rotations to rebuild the damage sustained in Lower Pabu.”

“Yes.” Shep replied to Tech, “property was destroyed, but my people are resilient. We’ll band together and rebuild.”

“I was thinking.” Hunter began, turning to Shep, “we could stay and help out with things.” He finished, turning to Tech.

“I had the same idea.”

“Did you now?” Phee replied cheekily.

“That is, if you don’t mind us sticking around for a while.” Hunter asked Shep.

“You would be most welcome.” Shep said, as they walked into the crowd of people.

---

A few days had gone by as the group helped rebuild Lower Pabu. Shep had even kindly given all of them small houses, with her and Hunter getting their own, and Wrecker, Tech, and Omega theirs. But, more often than not, Omega found her way to their small house to sleep at.

And, for the past few days, Hunter had been helping Amina conquer the water. “Come on, just a little bit further in.”

Amina took a small step further in, the water going to the bottom of her calves. “This is farther than I went yesterday!”

He shook his head, “no, it’s not. This is how far you got yesterday.”

“Are you sure?” She asked crossing her arms across her chest, her breasts slightly pushed up against the fabric of her black bathing tog.

Hunter briefly glanced down at her chest, her black bathing suit accentuating her figure. He cleared his throat, momentarily distracted by the way the sunlight danced across her skin, before refocusing on the task at hand.

"Yes, I'm sure," he replied, trying to ignore the sudden flutter in his chest. "Come on, another step.”

Amina hesitated, her arms still crossed defensively over her chest. She glanced down at the water lapping at her calves, uncertainty clouding her features. "I don't know, Hunter," she admitted, her voice tinged with apprehension. "What if I can't do it?”

Hunter stepped closer to her, his gaze softening with understanding. He reached out, gently taking her hand in his, his touch warm and reassuring. "You can, cyar’ika," he said, his voice filled with quiet confidence. "I'll be right beside you every step of the way."

He let go of her hand as he stepped further into the water now a little above waist level. Amina took a small step forward before stopping.

“How about this, if you make it to me, I’ll give you a reward.” Hunter said.

Amina glanced at Hunter, a hint of curiosity lighting up her eyes despite her lingering uncertainty. "A reward, huh?" she echoed, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "What kind of reward are we talking about?"

Hunter grinned, the mischievous glint in his eyes belying his casual demeanor. "Ah, well, that's for me to know and for you to find out," he teased, his voice playful. "But I promise it'll be worth it."

Amina chuckled softly, her apprehension beginning to ebb away in the face of Hunter's infectious enthusiasm. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the challenge ahead. "Alright, you're on," she declared, determination flashing in her eyes. "But you better make it good."

With a newfound resolve, Amina pushed herself forward, wading deeper into the water with each step. The cool liquid enveloped her body, sending ripples dancing across its surface. She could feel the weight of her doubts melting away, replaced by a sense of exhilaration.

Finally, Amina stood before him, the water swirling around her thighs as she met his gaze with a triumphant smile. "Well, look who made it," Hunter said, his voice laced with admiration. "I knew you could do it."

Amina grinned back at him, a sense of accomplishment washing over her. "Told you I could," she replied, her tone playful. "Now, about that reward- ”

Hunter cut her off with a kiss, one of his hands cupping her face while the other went around her waist in the water.

Amina melted into the kiss, her heart pounding in her chest as she wrapped her arms around Hunter, pulling him closer. The world seemed to fade away around them, leaving only the sensation of Hunter's lips against hers and the gentle embrace of the water.

Hunter deepened the kiss, his lips moving against hers with a passion that sent shivers down Amina's spine. She lost herself in the moment, her worries and doubts melting away in the heat of their shared desire.

As they finally broke apart, Amina found herself breathless, her chest heaving with exertion. She looked up at Hunter, her eyes sparkling with emotion. "Wow," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "That was..."

"Amazing?" Hunter finished for her, a boyish grin spreading across his face. "I couldn't agree more."

Amina laughed softly, the sound light and carefree. "Yeah, amazing," she replied, her cheeks flushing with color. "But, I was going to ask if that was my reward.”

Hunter grinned, the warmth of Amina's laughter filling him with a sense of contentment. "Well, technically, that kiss was just a preview," he replied, his tone playful. "The real reward is still to come."

Amina arched an eyebrow, a playful smirk playing on her lips. "Oh, is that so?" she teased, her eyes dancing with mischief. "Well then, I can't wait to see what you have in store for me."

He put his other hand on her waist and lifted her up as she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist.

Hunter held Amina close as she wrapped her legs around his waist, their bodies pressed together in the warm embrace of the water. He could feel her heart racing against his chest, matching the rapid rhythm of his own heartbeat.

Amina looked up at him, her eyes shining with a mixture of anticipation and desire. "So, what's the real reward?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Hunter grinned, a playful glint in his eyes. "Well you’ll find out soon enough," he teased, his voice husky with desire. "But I promise you won't be disappointed."

Amina chuckled softly, her fingers tracing patterns against the back of his neck. "I'll hold you to that," she replied, her lips curving into a seductive smile.

Hunter leaned in closer, his breath warm against her skin. "Count on it," he murmured, his lips brushing against hers in a tantalizing promise.

Their kiss deepened, passion igniting between them like wildfire. Hunter lost himself in the taste of her lips, the feel of her body pressed against his, the sweet scent of her skin mingling with the salty tang of the sea.

Time seemed to stand still as they surrendered to the moment, lost in the intoxicating dance of desire. Every touch, every caress, sent sparks of electricity coursing through their veins, binding them together in a whirlwind of sensation.

But as they finally broke apart, gasping for breath, Hunter knew that their journey was far from over. With Amina in his arms, he felt invincible, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

"So, what do you say we continue this somewhere more... private?" he suggested, his voice husky with desire.

Amina nodded, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Lead the way," she replied, her voice filled with anticipation.

---

Since being on Pabu, Amina changed her wardrobe. Not a big change, but inside of wearing a large tunic, she’s decided to wear something more simple and casual. Meaning, just a plain shirt with a leather jacket.

It felt good to not be constricted to the clothes she wore for over a decade of her life. Jedi attire wasn’t exactly flattering or comfortable with all the layers.

She walked to the top of the mountain where Echo just landed and where Omega was currently landing the Marauder.

“Echo!” Omega called out, as she ran to Echo and Tech stumbled out of the ship. Omega jumped into Echo’s arms, her arms wrapping around his neck. “We’ve missed you!”

He chuckled, “it hasn’t been that long.”

“Feels like it has.” Omega replied.

Amina walked over, “well, what do you think, Tech. Is she improving her flying skills?”

Tech sighed, “it seems as though she may have picked up some of your reckless flying skills.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Amina said, putting her hand down as Omega high-fived her.

Tech shook his head, turning his attention to Echo, “you mentioned needing some assistance with data decryption.”

“This is what’s left of the files I recovered from an Imperial shuttle. It was transporting clone prisoners, and we need to know where and why.” Echo said, as Hunter nodded.

Tech walked back over to the Marauder as Omega looked up at Amina. “What’s on your neck?”

Amina patted her neck, “what?” she asked, feeling around for any lumps or bumps.

She kneeled down as Omega tapped a spot on her neck, “it’s like a bruise or something.”

Amina furrowed her brows before suddenly looking up at Hunter, who had his arms crossed as well as hiding his smile. A moment of realization dawned on her, as she turned back to Omega trying to think of a convincing lie.

Echo stepped forward, “you see Omega, when two people love each other- ”

Amina stood up, a playful glint in her eyes as she pushed Echo toward the Marauder, his laughter filling the air. She flashed Omega a sheepish grin, hoping to divert her attention from the awkward situation.

"Sorry about that," Amina said, her tone light and casual. "Echo's just being his usual self, you know?"

Omega raised an eyebrow, her gaze flickering between Amina and Hunter. "Uh-huh," she replied, her voice tinged with skepticism. "Sure he is."

Amina forced a laugh, her mind racing for a plausible explanation. "So, uh, what were we talking about again?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.

Omega's suspicion seemed to ease slightly, though she still eyed Amina with curiosity. "Your neck," she replied, her tone cautious. "What happened?"

Amina hesitated, her mind scrambling for an excuse. She glanced at Hunter, silently pleading for help, but he merely smirked in amusement, clearly enjoying her discomfort.

"It's, uh, nothing," Amina replied, her voice slightly strained. "Just a little... uh, mishap."

Omega frowned, her skepticism returning full force. "A mishap?" she echoed, her tone incredulous. "What kind of mishap?"

Amina bit her lip nervously, her mind racing for a convincing lie. "Well, you see," she began, her voice faltering slightly. "It's... um, it's a long story."

Omega arched an eyebrow, her expression unreadable. "I've got time," she replied, her tone insistent. "And I've got questions."

Amina cursed silently, wishing she could come up with a better excuse. She glanced at Hunter, hoping for some backup, but he merely shrugged in response, his smirk widening.

If only she was Padme right now. At least she had a team to do her hair and makeup, as well as extravagant outfits to hide the hickeys.

But sadly, Amina has never owned or wore any makeup.

And she doesn’t have fancy over the top dresses.

“Well… um… you know, I must say, you’ve gotten pretty good at interrogating.” Amina said, as Omega crossed her arms, “okay, okay. Me and Hunter were… training and I fell on the hilt of my lightsaber giving me a bruise.”

Omega raised an eyebrow, “but there are multiple.”

“Multiple?” Amina whisper-yelled, her voice tinged with panic as she felt the weight of Omega’s scrutiny bearing down on her.

Hunter tried to suppress a smirk, but it was no use. A small chuckle escaped his lips before he could stop it. He could see Amina’s discomfort, and while he didn’t want to make things worse for her, he couldn’t help but find the situation amusing.

Omega raised an eyebrow, her expression a mix of skepticism and curiosity. “So, you fell on your lightsaber multiple times?” she asked, her tone incredulous.

Amina winced, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. She shot Hunter another pleading look, silently begging him to come to her rescue. But he merely shrugged, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Well, you see, it’s a long story,” Amina began, her voice faltering slightly. “I, uh, I was... practicing some... new techniques, and, um... things got a little... out of hand.”

Omega’s skepticism deepened, her gaze narrowing as she studied Amina intently. “Out of hand?” she echoed, her tone flat. “What kind of techniques were you practicing?”

Amina bit her lip nervously, her mind racing for a plausible explanation. Techniques. What kind of techniques are there?

“Um, you know, just... some advanced combat maneuvers,” Amina replied, her voice strained. “Nothing too out of the ordinary.”

Omega’s eyes narrowed further, her suspicion evident in every line of her face. “Advanced combat maneuvers?” she repeated, her tone skeptical. “And that’s how you ended up with... multiple bruises on your neck?”

Amina shifted uncomfortably, her mind scrambling for a convincing lie. She could feel the weight of Omega’s scrutiny bearing down on her, and with each passing moment, the pressure seemed to mount.

“Well, you see, it’s, uh...” Amina began, her voice trailing off as she struggled to come up with a plausible explanation.

Before she could say anything else, however, Hunter stepped forward, coming to her rescue at last. “Look, Omega, it’s really not that big of a deal,” he said, his tone casual. “Amina was just... practicing some new moves, and things got a little... intense.”

Omega arched an eyebrow, her skepticism evident in every line of her face. “Intense?” she echoed, her tone dubious. “What kind of moves were you practicing?”

Hunter shrugged, a nonchalant expression on his face. “You know, the usual,” he replied, his tone casual.

“Yeah, new… force techniques.” Amina said, patting Omega’s shoulder. “Oh- did you hear that? I think Tech called for you.”

Omega looked at the Marauder, “I didn’t hear anything.”

“Nope, pretty sure he did. Might just want to check in, see what he wants.”

Amina's diversion seemed to work, albeit barely. Omega gave her one last skeptical look before turning her attention towards the Marauder. "Alright, I'll go check in with Tech," she said, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "But we're not done talking about this, okay?"

Amina nodded, relief flooding through her as Omega walked away. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, feeling the tension drain from her shoulders. Hunter watched Omega's retreating figure with a small smile, his eyes softening with amusement.

"That was close," he remarked, his tone light.

Amina chuckled softly, her nerves still jittery from the close call. "Tell me about it," she replied, her voice tinged with relief. "Thanks for not stepping in back there." She walked over to Hunter, tapping his chest plate, “I’m going to get you back.”

“Oh really?” He asked.

She nodded and hummed, “yep.” Amina leaned up and kissed the underside of his jaw before making her way onto the Marauder, “you’ll never know when it’s coming!”

---

Tech tapped on the console in the ship, “the Imperial transport Echo hijacked was assigned to the Advanced Science Division.”

“Never heard of it.” Hunter said.

“That is because it is a clandestine operation. There are no records on its location or its purpose. All I could find on it was the chief scientist in charge, Dr. Royce Hemlock. An officer expelled from the Republic science corps due to his unauthorized and unorthodox experiments.”

“Why were they sending clone prisoners to him?” Omega asked.

“I do not know, but it gets worse. Previous transfer records recovered from the ship’s logs list other clone prisoners detained by the Advanced Science Division. And Crosshair is one of them.”

“You mean Crosshair turned on the Empire?” Wrecker asked hopefully.

“How sure are you about this?” Hunter questioned.

“Very. After discovering his clone number on the transfer register, I checked our old comm channels and found a recent distress message sent from Crosshair’s old code.”

“What did it say?” Omega inquired.

“Plan 88. The Seeker. We are being targeted. I believe he is warning us.”

“Or it’s a trap, like he’s set for us before.” Hunter added.

Wrecker grunted, “well, how do we find out?”

tags: @callsign-denmark

[banditthewriter]

Compatible - Billy Russo - 2

Thank you for the lovely response to this fic. It’s meant a lot and I’m really happy to be sharing this fic with you all. You can find part one here!

Here we have part two! This part starts to introduce some characters from the MCU shows and movies. This includes men and women matches btw, should have stated that to start with.

Warning: Mentions of sexual relations with multiple characters over the months. Not described.

*gif is mine*

I hope you enjoy!

---

Month Two

The driver was different, but you didn’t really care too much. The car pulled up in front of house number four. There was another car already parked there so you went ahead and opened your door to get out. This time you met the man at the door since you both knew how it worked now.

The man nodded at you as you approached. He shifted a bit, his hand tightening into a fist at his side. He looked you over and you noticed that while he seemed to like how you look, he didn’t seem…enthused. He didn’t even smile.

You raised your pad up to the touch pad next to the door and waited for him to do the same. Once they touched, it took a second before the screen flashed its welcome. You saw your name and then looked at the other.

Stephen Strange. Yea, that fit. 

He opened the door and stepped through, looking around quickly before he turned back to the drivers. He seemed impatient to get his bags.

You closed your eyes for a second and took a deep breath before you stepped into the living room. The driver’s dropped off your bags and handed over the key to the cart. Then they were gone. Stephen looked you over again and then held up his pad.

“Shall we?”

You opened up and went to the percentage app. After the familiar scroll, it stopped on 52%. You frowned as you stared at it. Your percentage was so much higher with Billy, even just to start with. You looked up at Stephen to see if he was as confused as you were but he actually seemed…happy with it?

“Pretty good starting point. Definitely a better match than my last one. Guess that’s a good sign.”

You tried not to picture Billy but you did think about the percentages with him. 

“Yea, guess so,” you said with false enthusiasm.

This wouldn’t work if you went into it comparing everyone to Billy. You just needed to take it one month at a time and focus everything on your current match. At the end of the year…well, you’d worry about that later.

For now, you needed to focus on Stephen Stranger.

—

He was a doctor. He'd mentioned it once, offhand when the two of you were doing the introductions. You had remarked with interest, but he didn't seem interested in saying more. 

But once he'd mentioned it once, he mentioned it a dozen more times before the end of the night. Stephen had wanted to go out for dinner but you asked to postpone. Instead the two of you ordered in for Chinese food. 

At night when it came time to pick a bedroom, you washed up quickly and then you headed towards the one on the right. It wasn't until you were safely tucked in bed that you realized which room you had picked. 

The sight from the skylight was different from what you'd gotten used to before, but everything else was the same. This was on the other side of the wall from the one you’d slept in before, an exact replica of the one that Billy slept in.

You glanced at your pad but you didn't reach for it. The only things on there now related to you and Stephen and right then, Stephen wasn't the one you were thinking about. 

—

"First impressions aren't always right. Remember the first time you met me?"

You rolled your eyes as you listened to Karen chuckle. 

"Yes I remember, you had just gotten off from being suspected of murder and stumbled into the paper. I remember fondly," you teased. 

Karen snorted at that.

"And now look at us. Best friends."

You ran a hand over your face as you settled into the window seat a bit more. Stephen was out doing…something. He often disappeared for hours on end. 

"That took more than a month. And I don't know, him and I just aren't…clicking."

You didn't have to see Karen to know that she was making a face. You opened your mouth to explain more but she interrupted. 

"Are you still thinking about…him?"

It had become an unspoken agreement not to say his name. Not to even think about it. 

"It's not about that. I'm thinking about Stephen and me. I just, I just don't feel like we are connecting." 

"Well isn't that something that happens? I mean, I read up on those reviews. There were a lot of people that said they went through it and didn't meet their match. That some of their matches were complete duds."

You remembered those reviews as well. You knew it was a possibility going in. But after…he who shall not be named…you expected something. 

"It's only been a week. Just give it some time."

You knew that. You'd told yourself that every night since the first of the month. What you need to do is give it some time.

So when Stephen came into the house, you greeted him in a nice dress and with a smile. The first honest one since you stepped out of the car that first day. 

“Go get dressed. I made reservations at a restaurant and we don’t want to miss it.”

Stephen smiled as he looked you up and down. 

“Let me get dressed and we’ll go.”

—

“No, come on, I can’t have another bite,” you said with a laugh as you pushed the plate away. Stephen laughed and pushed it back to you which made you laugh even harder. “No, Stephen, really! I’ll bust at the seams.”

He grabbed the fork and took a bite of his own. 

“You know, if you bust at your seams, I’ll be there to stitch you up,” he joked. 

You rolled your eyes. Then you looked over at the other people at the block party. You recognized more people than you thought you would. The last one you went to, you’d been so distracted by…well, you’d been distracted and didn’t expect to recognize anyone. But you did.

One person you didn’t see was…he who shall not be named. You wondered why he wasn’t there with his match, but you knew that not everyone was going to be there.

One of the girls was fast to tell you why she wasn’t at the first block party. A woman with a British accent explained that her and her match hadn’t left the bedroom for most of the second and third week. Not that you were a prude, but hearing them talk about that so blatantly made heat fill your own cheeks. Thankfully Stephen wasn’t nearby during that conversation because you didn’t want him getting any ideas.

But it did make you think about this block party and the people that weren’t there. And wondering if that’s why they weren’t there.

Stephen gestured to you from the other end of the block. You said your goodbyes and started towards him. Once there, he placed his hand on your shoulder and squeezed. 

“Come on, let’s get back home.”

At the house the two of you talked while a movie played, both of you happy and joking. And at the end of the night, you went into your own rooms to sleep. Alone.

—

The clock was ticking down towards noon on the last day of the month. You were packed, your bags next to the door. Stephen’s were on the other side. He approached you with a smile and held his arms out to you. You smiled and stepped into them, hugging him tightly.

When he stepped back, the two of you each pulled out your pads. You both clicked on the percentage app and waited for it to populate.

61% this time. It went up nine points. That’s more than…your first month. Even so, it was way below where you’d started previously with…

“Well, that was a great month. Don’t you agree?”

You smiled at Stephen in agreement. Then you gestured to the door.

“It was nice meeting you.”

As the two of you got into your cars to head to your next match, you leaned back and looked around at the other vehicles on the road. You had no idea who your next match would be, but you had a feeling you could handle it. 

You could handle anything.

—

Month Three

—

The touch pad next to the door lit up. You saw your name pop up followed by the name of the man next to you. Pietro Maximoff. He ran his hand through his dyed hair and grinned at you playfully before he opened the door, gesturing for you to go in front of him. You stepped in and looked around.

Exactly the same. Some of the furniture was slightly different shades, the art on the wall might not be exact replicas but it was probably bought from the same big box store.

The drivers dropped off the bags and handed over the key to the cart. You and Pietro moved around the house, familiar in your environment if not with each other. You crossed over to where Pietro was fiddling with a leaf of a plant. With a smile, you raised your pad and shook it at him.

“Let’s check,” you said softly.

He nodded and pulled his out. You both maneuvered to the percentage screen and tapped the icon. After the slot machine rolled, the number 64% showed up. Higher than where you and Stephen ended. You smiled at Pietro as you closed the app and locked the pad once more. Pietro nodded and looked around the house.

“I think we’re gonna have a good month,” he said with a grin.

You had a feeling that this month wasn’t going to be about connection at all. 

—

The block party was back. Pietro hadn’t seemed overly excited to go and you didn’t feel it either. You told yourself it was because you and Pietro hadn’t had much time to get to know each other and you didn’t want to lose the chance.

Did you have fun at the previous block parties? Sure. But you had a feeling that one on one was a good idea with you and Pietro. The two of you had flirted and goofed off a lot, but there hadn’t been much below that starting line. Nothing beneath the surface with the two of you.

There was something else. Some small part of you that remembered the chick telling you why her and her first match didn’t show up to the first block party. And that memory couldn’t help but bring back the little fact of who didn’t show up to the second block party and what that possible reason could be.

When Pietro came out to where you were sitting on the couch, he didn’t seem in a rush to head down the road. You looked up at him, hair wet from his shower and a towel slung around his hips as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“You wanna…head to the party in a bit?”

You stared at Pietro as he drank half of the bottle. Then he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes going to where you were sitting. 

For once you decided to act without overthinking. You got off the couch and moved over to where he was standing. You smiled as you grabbed his hand and started to pull him towards the room he had been sleeping in.

“I think we can find a different way to spend our evening.”

His confused face split into an excited grin as you backed into his bedroom, your shirt being pulled up and over your head as you did.

—

The clock on your pad read 12:03am. You pulled it off of the charger and stared at the screen. A few moments later you clicked on the percentage app and waited. It took less than thirty seconds for it to cycle through to the percentage.

64%, the same percentage you started with. After a month together, there was no change. You swiped the app closed and then put the pad on the charger again. Then you closed your eyes and rested your head back no the pillow.

No change. No difference. Well, at least now you knew.

—

Month Four 

—

The woman with the long red hair smiled and engulfed you in a hug before you even had a chance to gesture to the touch pad. You blinked a few times and then returned the hug. She pulled back and kept smiling at you.

“My name is Wanda Maximoff. What’s yours?”

You gave her your name and then gestured to the touch pad. After you both touched your pads to the connection points, it cycled through the welcome screen. Then you grabbed the doorknob and let you both in. The drivers dropped your bags and the keys and then turned to leave.

“Maximoff. Do you, uh, have a brother in the neighborhood?”

She laughed as she leaned on the back of the couch.

“Yea, I do. Pietro. Did you match with him?”

You thought about the previous month with Pietro and wasn’t sure how to explain that to his sister. She just laughed and waved her hand at you.

“Don’t worry about it, I have no issues with that if you don’t. Pietro and I did this once before and we had some overlap.”

While you were glad that she didn’t have any issues with you having been with her brother and you didn’t really have any issues with it either, you were confused by something else she said. About them having done it once before.

Before you could ask, she raised up her pad. Not wanting to derail everything just yet, you followed suit. You both tapped on your apps and waited.

71%. A lot higher than what you were with her brother. Although you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d end up with the same issue with her as you did with Pietro.

—

At dinner that night, Wanda was talking about her childhood. The fact that you were learning more about Pietro through her didn’t escape you. But you also knew you shouldn’t focus on things with him when you were with her. 

She offered you another glass of wine. When she crossed over to you to pour it, you held your hand up and touched her wrist.

“I uh, I have a question. This afternoon you said that you and your brother had done this once before?” 

Wanda’s smile softened as she sat down across from you again. You took the wine from her and poured yourself some more. She smiled and accepted the bottle back so she could pour more for herself. 

“It was my idea. Pietro and I had talked a lot about our relationship woes. I’d seen commercials for it and I decided to go with it. Pietro followed me because, well, that’s just how it goes with us. The first year in the neighborhood, I didn’t really connect with anyone. After my week-long vacation with my final match, I ended up back in the apartment with Pietro drinking whiskey and complaining about his match. So we wrote to the company and they said we could do it a second time to see if we had better results.”

Wow. You didn’t know that people did multiple tries at this. It nearly broke your heart to be honest. The idea that you’d go through all of this and it wouldn’t be enough?

You weren’t sure you could handle that. Not after how the last few months had already gone for you.

—

Wanda was amazing. She was funny and smart and you enjoyed her company. So no it wasn’t a surprise when you ended up in bed with her within your first week in the house together. 

This time neither of you even pretended to be interested in the block party. It was just a good fit for you both.

You weren’t surprised when you woke up just past midnight the last day of the month with Wanda curled around you. You still weren’t surprised when you pulled your pad to you to check the percentage and found that it had gone up to 85%. It was a huge leap and it felt very fitting for how you felt about her.

But it didn’t explain the hollowness you felt as you stared at the number.

—

Month Five 

—

"Who is it this time? Another relative of the Maximoffs?" 

You laughed and wrapped your arms around yourself. Karen's face pixelated a bit before it came in focus again. 

"No, it's not another Maximoff. His name is Scott Lang. He's a nice guy."

Her face told you that you were a little transparent. 

"Oh, so another dud?"

You winced and looked over to the backyard where Scott was on a video call with his daughter.

"I'm trying. I told my dad I'd keep an open heart and mind."

She sighed and waved a hand at you. 

"I know you're trying. You want this to work out. It just seems like…" She trailed off for a second before she straightened her spine to speak. "It seems like you're still thinking and maybe comparing the matches to someone else?"

You wanted to act outraged and tell her you didn't know what she was talking about, but you couldn't. You didn’t have it in you to lie to your best friend. 

"I don't want to. I actively tried not to think about him. I really did."

Karen's face and voice became sympathetic. 

"I've gotten on a lot of forums about people who go to these neighborhoods. Sometimes they meet the person they are going to match with the first month. It's possible that you–"

"Please Karen, I don't want to think about that. I just…I want to get through this year and hopefully, well hopefully I'll have learned a few things about myself."

She nodded and sighed a bit as she looked down. Then she cleared her throat. 

"How are the edits on the bridge closing piece going? I had some suggestions myself."

You took a deep breath before you launched back into work.

—

"Let's go to the block party," Scott said as he passed you a drink. "Gonna have some bad weather soon. Might as well get some fun out while we can."

You accepted the drink and smiled. He was a nice guy, a fun guy. And you'd seen the weather coming and knew it was going to be ugly for a while. You and Scott had gotten along very well since the beginning of the month. He was fun loving and a little goofy at times. It was nice, easy. 

Your starting percentage was 71% which was a lot higher than you expected. But a high percentage didn't mean the two of you had the best chemistry. Honestly, as much as you liked him, you just didn't feel any attraction to him. 

"Sure. The block party might be fun."

It would be a change of pace at least. 

With that in mind, you changed clothes and got ready. Scott met you in the yard with the pimped out golf cart. As he drove the two of you to where the party was located, he made a lot of jokes and kept you laughing. While you weren't attracted to the man, you did enjoy his company. 

At the actual party, you and Scott stuck together. Both of you knew a few more people than you had the last time you came here, so you greeted them with a smile. Wanda was with a tall British man, Pietro with a woman with short hair. You didn't see Stephen anywhere. Or…Billy.

Scott introduced you to a beautiful woman named Hope. The two of them seemed to be pretty compatible, although you didn't know what their score was. They finished each other's sentences and teased each other with obvious affection. 

That. That was something you thought was important. It was what you saw between your parents. An ease that apparently didn't come from time. It was just…how they were. 

You were watching the two of them interact when you quietly informed Scott that you were going to grab a drink. He barely acknowledged your words and didn't seem to even notice when you turned to leave. 

There were coolers and tables set up on the far side of the party, away from the music. You grabbed a cup and hesitated as you looked over your options.

"I hear the punch is very, very spiked."

That voice. You spun around only to be inches away from Billy Russo. 

"Uh, yea," you stuttered a bit as you turned back around to the drinks, "I saw Pietro spiking it."

Billy made a noise, soft and low. Then he gestured to where you left Scott. 

"Is that your…match?"

You swallowed and focused even more intently on the drinks. To the point that plastic would melt if you had laser eyes. 

"Yeah, that's Scott. Uh. Where is…"

At that moment, you couldn't force yourself to say it. And you weren't even sure you wanted to know. 

From your peripheral you saw him look around. 

"I don't know where she went. Might have gone home."

You hoped that the sound of you grinding your teeth wasn't noticeable. Instead of trying to force yourself to smile and pretend you were interested in his match, you reached out and poured yourself a drink. 

"How have you been?"

You almost choked on your drink. After a difficult swallow, you looked ahead at some of the people hanging out on the other side of the block. 

"I've been good. You?"

First he sighed. Then he grabbed your hand and tugged you away from the drink table. You didn't even think about it. Just followed him. He led you to a gate for one of the nearby houses. This put the two of you out of view of the others but it wasn't completely secluded. 

"Listen, I wanted to talk about what happened. What I did."

You turned to turn away from him and wrapped your arms around yourself. 

"It's fine. I completely understand."

"No you don't. I shouldn't have done it, I should have stayed and at least said goodbye."

You wiped at your eyes even though you weren't crying. Instead you turned to look at Billy. Besides a quick glimpse when he first started talking to you, you hadn't gotten a good look at him. 

Right then, he looked a little desperate. He reached out to grab your hand but you turned your shoulders so that you were a little farther away from him. 

"I should go find Scott. Take care of yourself."

You turned and started to walk away but he stopped you again. This time not with his hand. 

"A storm is coming. Are you going to be okay?"

Honestly you didn't have a response for that. Instead you just forced a smile on your lips.

"Have a good one Billy. It was good to see you."

—

The lightning and thunder made you want to tuck your head under your pillow. It was such a bad storm. Your nails were making imprints on your arms as you stayed curled up in bed with your eyes closed. 

Billy asked if you were going to be okay but what would he have said or done if you'd said no? It wasn't up to him to help you through it anymore. 

But as you finally drifted off to sleep, you found yourself dreaming about Billy climbing into the bed with you again as the storm raged on outside. 

—

The percentage went to 65%. You actually lost compatibility with Scott during your month. You wished you could blame Scott because of how he'd acted with Hope, but you had had constant dreams about Billy since the night of the block party. 

It was your fault too. Not that you expected to be happy with Scott or anything, but still. You had to accept responsibility here.

And maybe address the fact that Billy had a hold on you. 

—

Month Six

—

Your new match was a man named Bucky Barnes. He had a prosthetic arm and an almost permanent scowl, but every now and then he would smile and catch you off guard. It took a little for him to open up to you and you had to imagine that was just how he was with new people because once he did, the two of you got along very well.

You had a 82% compatibility score to start with. And once you both got over the first few days, it showed.

"You don’t seem the type to participate in something like this,” you said with a gesture around the living room where you were both settled in. Bucky looked up from the book he was reading, your legs draped over his lap, and raised an eyebrow at you until you elaborated. “You know, the slow version of speed dating. Tinder on steroids. This.”

He tweaked your big toe to make you jerk your foot away. Then he closed the book around one finger to keep his space.

“It wasn’t really my decision. A friend of mine signed up and somehow signed me up too. It does explain why he was asking me all those questions for a few weeks there though.” 

The thought of a friend of Bucky’s quizzing him about some of the questions you remembered from the questionnaire you had to fill out at first made you laugh. You propped your head on the back of the couch but kept your eyes locked with Bucky’s. 

“Well, I’m glad your friend made you do it. I’m glad we matched.”

Bucky smiled at that. You grabbed his book from his grip and put it on the coffee table with the pages open so he didn’t lose his spot. Then you tugged on his shirt until he got up and moved to lay on top of you on the couch, a grin on your lips as he realized what you were doing.

The two of you were very well matched.

—

“He seems like a good guy,” Karen said with a grin as you shut your bedroom door. You rolled your eyes at her on your phone.

“You’re only saying that because you saw him shirtless. You know nothing about him except what I’ve told you.”

Her grin softened, even in pixelated form.

“And I can tell by the way that you talk about him that you actually like him. Which is how I know he’s a good guy. Doesn’t hurt that he looks like that.”

You laughed and shook your head, but you knew she was right. When it came to Bucky, you really had gotten close to him already. It had been a pretty good few weeks already. 

“Hey,” Karen called softly, drawing your attention back to her. She smiled again, this time the same brilliant smile that made you jokingly call her sunshine sometimes. “I’m happy for you.”

This time you smiled just as openly as she did.

“Thank you Karen.”

—

Bucky was in the backyard working out. You had joined him a few times already, but you woke up that morning with the urge to go for a run. After you sent Bucky a quick message to let him know what you were doing, you got dressed and headed out. It was early enough in the morning that there were no signs of people on the street. You took a deep breath and then started to jog.

Things that had been circling your mind for the last few months melted away. You weren’t focusing on work, weren’t focusing on the increasing number of texts and calls from your parents, you weren’t focusing on the way that Karen’s voice seemed to go softer when she asked how you were doing as if she thought you were fragile. You forced everything to the back and just focused on the rhythm of your feet on the asphalt as you ran through the neighborhood.

Near the pond you detoured off the street and went over to a little footbridge that went over a thin part of the pond. There were some trees there, a few swans and ducks that swam around the water. You jogged over and came to a stop. Then you moved so that you were standing in the middle of the bridge, staring out over the water.

It was beautiful in the morning light.

“It’s beautiful like this, isn’t it?”

You spun around and nearly swallowed your tongue. Billy was wearing black sweatpants and a gray shirt which was damp with sweat. He slipped his headphones into his pocket and gestured to the bridge that you were standing on.

“Mind if I join you?”

You hadn’t brought headphones but you wished you had just so you’d have something to focus on instead of watching the way the morning rays of sun bounced off of his skin and hair. Instead of getting distracted, you forced a smile and nodded before you turned back to the water.

The wood of the bridge was solid so it didn’t creak to let you know where he was, but you could still tell. You could feel his body heat as he came up behind you, reminiscent of how the two of you stood at the drink table at the block party the month before. 

“I didn’t get to apologize at the block party and that’s the real reason I wanted to talk to you. To apologize. I’m sorry for what I did. It was wrong.”

It was a good thing the railing was wood because you were squeezing it so hard that it might break otherwise. 

“It’s okay,” you said softly, because it was. It was in the past and it didn’t matter, right?

Except…

“Why did you do it? Leave without even saying goodbye?”

A hand on your arm turned you to face him fully. His deep brown eyes looked lighter with the sun coming in from behind you. He looked down to where his hand was on your arm. Slowly he let the hand fall until he could grab your hand in his.

The first time he had grabbed your hand was on the way back from the block party. Then how he had slipped into your bed the night of the storm. His hand had brushed against your face and then down the length of your arm so that his fingers could tangle with yours. And after that night, it was just something that the two of you…did. You held hands.

You’d held his hand so many times that it felt completely natural for you to let your fingers thread between his once more.

“I came to this neighborhood not expecting to meet someone that I really connected with. I figured my final match would be someone I got along with and maybe we would date for a while, but I never once imagined that the first person I met would be…someone like you. I find myself comparing my matches to you, thinking about the things we did together or things you said. I look for you at every block party and every time I even just go to the store. I thought I heard someone say your name one day and I almost walked into a closed glass door because I was looking for you. You’re…in my head. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

That was not what you were expecting at all. You wished your heart wasn’t pounding so loudly because it was blocking out his voice and you really wanted to focus right then. You wanted to tell him that you forcibly had to tell yourself not to think about him, that even your best friend compared all of your matches to him. That you stopped going to the block parties because you didn’t want to see him with someone else.

Instead, you went with simplicity. 

“I…feel the same.”

Billy reached a hand up and let it brush against your cheek. He gave you a smile as he leaned in towards you. You were mere centimeters apart when you realized what was happening and pulled back. Then you did one better and pulled your hand from his to step away more.

“We can’t,” you said with a shake of your head. “Maybe you came in not expecting to meet someone you really connected with, but I did. My parents told me to keep an open mind and an open heart and that’s what I’m trying to do. But I can only do that if I focus my attention on my matches. I have to…I have to try.”

He let his hand drop to his side. You saw frustration cross his features but then he shook his head. He looked away from you, out across the pond and into the sun as it rose further into the sky.

“I guess I should try too. And…we’ll see if the connection we feel is enough.”

It felt like lead sitting in your stomach, but you knew it was the right choice. You and Billy had chemistry and were obviously attracted to one another, but you signed into this for an entire year. You had to see it play out.

You took a deep breath and turned to walk off the bridge. As your shoes hit the grass, you turned back to look over your shoulder. He still stood in the middle of the bridge, his attention off to the side like yours had been to start with.

“See you around Billy,” you offered softly before you headed back off towards the road that would lead back to the house you shared with Bucky.

While you couldn’t be certain, you could have sworn you heard him say the same to you before you were gone.

—

A soft noise made you sit up. The bed seemed to shake and at first you thought it was an earthquake, but then you heard the noise again. A whimper almost. You turned to look at Bucky who was in bed with you. He was shaking as if cold, his eyebrows furrowed as he tossed and turned. 

You didn’t want to touch him if he was having a nightmare, so you just called out to him softly. When it seemed to soothe him a bit, you started to talk to him more. In gentle tones you told Bucky how much you enjoyed the dinner he’d made that night and how you liked the way he always made sure you were warm before you fell asleep. You told him how you knew he was always getting your favorite chocolate for the house and that you always left him a few pieces because he had come to enjoy it too.

The more you spoke, the more his body calmed. Soon you saw his eyes blink open as you spoke. He looked disoriented for a long moment until he sat up and rubbed his face. You quieted down and waited.

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” he said in a gruff voice as he scrubbed his hand through his hair. “I don’t have nightmares often anymore but it still happens.”

You reached out and pulled his hand from his face. His prosthetic was on the charge on the dresser in the other room so his other arm was just the stump but you didn’t mind. Instead you reached out and grabbed his shoulder to pull him into your arms.

“You can tell me about it if you want to. Or I can tell you about how I once got my entire office evacuated with an accidental bomb threat.”

You felt him chuckle against your neck. Then he leaned back, gratitude in his eyes.

“I’ve got to hear this story.”

You smiled and ran your hand over his back.

“Well, it started with an aluminum foil wrapped burrito,” you began with a grin.

—

Bucky smiled at you as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss. You smiled back and then reached down to grab your bags. The driver took them from you to load into the car while Bucky’s driver did the same. You climbed into the backseat and gave Bucky another wave before the doors were shut. Then you looked down at the pad that you held in your hand once more.

89%. It was a pretty good jump, admittedly, but that wasn’t why you felt tears well up in your eyes. 

That’s where you and Billy had ended up too. If you thought that this whole program would make things easier, it was sure proving you wrong. While you knew that your connection with Bucky wasn’t as strong as it was with Billy, you couldn’t ignore the fact that you did feel strongly connected to Bucky. The two of you had gotten along almost as easily as you and Billy and there was just as much affection there. 

It was a short drive to the next house. When the car parked, you knew you only had a few minutes before your next match would arrive. With that in mind, you dabbed at your eyes and made sure that it wasn’t obvious that you’d been upset. You wanted to make a good impression on whoever it was next.

The car pulled in beside yours and you waited for your driver to open your door. You heard the door from the other car open as well. Unable to hold off any longer, you smiled widely and turned to face your new match.

X

Thanks for reading! The rest of the year will be in the final part!

X

@readers-posts​

[iavulture]

It might seem crazy what I'm 'bout to say, but...

Recently I brought up two thoughts about Despicable Me 4 with a friend of mine over on Discord, specifically about Gru Jr. In fact, I've been thinking about it for a few days now, but it does tie into an idea I've been obsessed with to the point that I wrote a fanfic related to it.

… Namely, that Gru's son will be someone special, and that he probably will be an AVL agent when he grows up. Probably in a hypothetical sequel/spin-off series that I personally like to call "Agent Gru" (creative, I know, but just stick w/ me).

Now I know that the movie hasn't been out yet, and that this post could possibly be rendered moot in the future, but why don't we indulge in some speculation, shall we?

Thought #1:

Okay, this is more of an observation than anything, but I found it interesting that Gru Jr. has blue eyes and red hair, just like his father and mother respectively. I've done a bit of digging, and I found out that blue eyes + red hair is apparently a very rare combination of eye color + hair color traits. According to this article, about 0.17% of the human population has this combination, making Jr. unique in that regard.

(I even joked that the powers that be in the Despicable Me/Minions universe saw Gru's family and, after Gru and Lucy did it, really said: "You shall be blessed with a son, and so you shall have children with all of the natural hair colors." Additionally, the powers that be also decided that said son should win the genetics lottery and gave him a rare combination of traits. Which leads me to a question: if red hair is a recessive trait, what part of Gru's side of the family had red hair that led him to be a carrier of that recessive gene? I'm probably just overthinking it, but it's something interesting to think about, y'know?)

Ofc, there's also the possibility that the hair color/eye color might change as he grows up, but I digress.

tl;dr Gru's son is special because of his unique combination of phenotypes.

Which sort of leads into…

Thought #2:

Okay, here's the real meat of my crazy idea/speculation, and it starts with an observation of two characters from DM1 and DM2.

Remember Vector? (DM1)

Or Antonio? (DM2)

You notice any similarities between these two?

If not, I'll say it.

Vector is the biological son of Mr. Perkins.

And Antonio is the biological son of Eduardo Perez aka El Macho.

And bc Rule of Three seems to be in order, Gru Jr. is the biological son of Gru, thus three supervillains (well, more like two villainous characters and one who turned good anyway) are fathers with biological sons.

But wait! That's not the most interesting observation that I have about them. It's actually…

… Where the sons fall on the morality scale, though it's currently debatable where Jr. will lie. So get this.

Vector is a full-on villain, as he's the main antagonist of DM1

I see Antonio as the "neutral" son, bc he's not exactly villainous like his dad; the worst he does is break Margo's heart in DM2, but otherwise he's kinda a normal kid

Which leads me to this idea: what if Gru Jr. is the "good" son of the trio? Like…

I can't see him becoming a villain like his dad once was (remember that Gru stole things in order to try and impress his neglectful mother!), and seeing how he acts around Lucy and how she seems to handle the kids (she's better than Marlena ofc), I kinda see him as a bit of a momma's boy rather than someone with mommy issues like his dad once did. Overall, he's born into a loving family whose members care for each other very much to where the only realistic reason as to why he would become bad is through a bad outside influence.

At the bare minimum, he'll grow up to be an ordinary guy w/ an ordinary life, but I honestly can't see that bc 1) his family circumstances don't exactly add up to an ordinary life (his parents are AVL agents for one thing) and 2) unless Illumination gets tired of the DM/Minions 'verse, I can't see them settling on an ordinary character as a protagonist. I mean, can you imagine if Jr. was the head of a jelly/jam business just like what Gru was trying to do at the start of DM2?

In other words, I don't really believe he'll be a villain or an ordinary guy. Like, there's little to nothing that could possibly lead him to either of those paths, unless something drastic happens in 4 or in another movie that has him. I think it's more likely he'll be actively on the side of good and be smth like an AVL agent like his parents. Plus, and I know this might be a bit harsh in regards to the girls, but I can (realistically) see him being the next-gen main character of the series. At the same time, though, I do hope that he gets to interact w/ his older sisters in DM4 and beyond (whatever that'll be like); hell, in the fic that I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I imagined him and Edith to be in the AVL, with Edith being like a weapons/gadget specialist like Q from James Bond with an additional enthusiasm for fighting (and I also imply that she might've taught him a few things along the way, such as fighting skills).

Oh, and one last thing: considering that Jr. has a scarf like his protagonist parents (I don't count minor characters w/ scarves like Antonio here), it's likely that he will be a protagonist in DM4 and possibly even future movies after it. (Apparently having one automatically gives you a high chance to be a protag in this 'verse? I joke, but y'know…)

So… yeah. Sorry for the long post, but I just had to get this off my chest since it's been nagging me for a little while now.

[mrsvalbaker]

Amberline

Disclaimer: This story is going to be dedicated to a very good friend of mine, why she thinks I'm good enough to let me write a character for her, I dunno.

This a Kyle Scheible x OC, there's definitely smut, adult situations, all high school characters are portrayed by adults. There's mention of eating disorder.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Part I

Sacramento High School was no longer a public school.

This year it was changed to a charter due to its very low performance.

To be honest, this town is now poor or rich, and I fall into the latter as my mother loves to remind me. It's why I've been babysitting since I was twelve, and why this past summer I was working at a doughnut stand at a fair, and this school year I'll be working at Blockbusters.

College doesn't pay for itself, and mom made it no secret that she wasn't going to donate one red cent, why should she even though my babysitting and doughnut money go toward the nice apartment we live in and toward her payments for her Lexus she can hardly afford.

I don't even have a car, and does she ever drive me to work or school? No, it's my bicycle or a bus.

She's one of those southern women that always drone on about earning things, telling me life ain't easy and I best get a grasp of that early, especially since I'll be joining the rich kids of Sacramento for my senior year.

Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic High School is so graciously funded by Charlene Sixkiller, my dearest mother. She said it'll help me get to a good school. I'm truly grateful, but I feel so pressured, I feel like school and me leaving at eighteen is all we talk about at home.

I don't even know what I want to do.

Like fuck.

I love writing but my mom says that it doesn't pay the bills. It's a big reason why she won't help me with college, because I'm choosing to be an English Major.

Okay so maybe I do know what I want to do with my life.

I write gothic novels, a cross between horror and romance. I'm not very good at it but I love writing, between that and my diary it's the only way I can actually express myself.

-

It's awkward going to Catholic school and you're not a catholic, mom was brought up southern Baptist, and I hardly know a damn thing about my dad. Although he's probably the same, being from the same area.

I've only been to my mom's hometown of Rocky Mountain, North Carolina five times in my life, and every single time I count the hours for when we return to California.

My dream school is UCLA. It's hard as hell to get into, but going to this school will help. L.A. is far enough from central California where I won't have to deal with my mom again, and besides my dad's there. Maybe I can find him, ask him why I wasn't worth sticking around for.

My alarm clock blared Good Charlotte throughout my room. With a long groan and a painful stretch, I literally threw myself out of bed.

Dragged myself to the bathroom and pulled myself into the shower. I know being goth at a catholic school is going to be a total nightmare, but I was still Gung ho on making a good first impression. I washed my hair twice with the fruity smell of my Garnier shampoo and conditioner. Then massaged my loreal color mask into my waist length black hair before combing it through and clipping it up on top of my head.

My acne is starting to clear up but there's still some stubborn blemishes on my cheek. I washed my face with a morning burst about four times before using the scrub, why did I have to have problematic skin? Between acne, my fat ass and my boobs, I felt like there were twenty signs to point out how much of an ugly freak I am. I still tried though, some days I didn't think I looked bad, but days like today…

I scrubbed my skin with my electric apple lathered loofah until it was red and raw, and then rinsed my hair mask. I turned on the radio and brushed my teeth to the new Red Hot Chilli Peppers song By the Way, my eyes gazed with judgment at my reflection. How shall I fix myself today? I was getting over an eating disorder from last year, this weight is new to me. My doctor said I looked great, but sometimes I see a dancing hippopotamus in fantasia.

I rubbed Ponds onto my face and Bath and body works toasted hazelnut lotion on my skin. I sprayed my Secret powdery deodorant on. Blowing drying my waist length, ebony hair took a half an hour and that was me rushing. I sealed it with my Garnier serum and then did my makeup, far too much black eyeliner just past the point of you have gone too far, and cherry chapstick.

I pulled on my black panties and bra before pulling on the gray pleated school skirt I was forced to wear, I felt like a soldier preparing for war. The white buttoned down shirt was tucked in and I threw on my black zipper hoodie leaving it unzipped. I pulled on black knee high socks and scrunched them down before tying on my doc martens oxfords. I shoved on my many bracelets from a Hot Topic haul and made sure my black, stretchy choker constricted my neck. I brushed my hair down one more time and sprayed on my Victoria's Secret love spell body spray I got for my last birthday. I looked at myself, the kohl making my green eyes pop like I was on something. I wouldn't call myself hideous, just not pretty, not enough.

I wasn't enough for my old friends, when I was found passed out in the girl's bathroom everything changed. Nobody wanted me around, Alyssa and Taylor stopped sitting with me at lunch, and Alyssa started dating my crush Zach. They all acted like we never met.

But I was always the one who brought the least to the group. If I couldn't make it to a Marilyn Manson concert, they still went, but when Alyssa had the flu and couldn't make it to Disneyland, everyone canceled.

I was the one who was everyone's shoulder to cry on, at twelve I taught Taylor how to use pads and take motrin when she got her period, I told Zach he was good at drums, and anytime Alyssa had guy troubles it was me who lost sleep talking to her until 3am on the phone, it was me who bought her Häagen-Dazs and watched her stupid guilty pleasure show with her, Sex and the city, it was me who washed her hair and ran her a bath.

But it was never enough. Who knows, maybe I'm not meant to be happy. It's not in the cards for me I think.

The main reason for starting fresh and going to a new school wasn't just about college. It was so I wouldn't have to see the faces of the people who were supposed to be my best friends in the whole world, and couldn't get off their asses to visit me in the hospital.

I put my headphones and placed my Simple Plan CD into my player and turned it on blast.

Mom already left for work, she wasn't the kind of mother to prepare me a big breakfast for my first day. I grabbed an apple and granola bar and left to go catch the bus, getting catcalled on the way by guys old enough to be my dad.

Getting on that school bus was what you expected, the kids caught a look at the girl with black hair and equally black eyeliner and snicker or get out my way faster than a bat out of hell.

I sat in the very back next to a girl with shoulder length, dirty blonde hair pushed back by a headband that matched her gray school skirt.

She started talking to me, I saw her mouth move but couldn't hear one word. What is wrong with her? Can't she see that I'm wearing headphones? I wanted to ignore her so badly but I could not be rude to save my life. So I tapped the pause button with a black nail and pushed my headphones down before looking at her. "Can I help you?"

She smiled and laughed. "I was just saying you're new, I've never seen you before."

She wanted to bother me for that? I smiled though. "Yes, you're right. How perceptive of you."

The girl just laughed. "I'm Gretchen, I go to Mary's too, what grade are you in?"

"I'm a senior."

"Me too! We're the only seniors on the bus, did you know that?"

Thank you Gretchen for making me feel like such a loser.

The bus ride consisted of Gretchen asking for my entire autobiography. Was she a news reporter or something? All she got out of me was that I went to Sacramento High, which she made a snobby face at, and that I didn't leave behind any friends.

Once we got off of the bus, she didn't leave me alone. She was telling me about everyone who went to our school. I nodded along without paying attention but couldn't find the heart to be mean. I mean she's taking the time to get to know me and be my own personal tour guide.

"Amberline is a really strange name." She said suddenly.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I'll change it when I get the chance."

She laughed and I held back the urge to roll my eyes. "I'll just call you Amber, come on Amber I'll take you to morning mass?"

"Morning mass?"

She nodded. "It's a catholic school of course."

I followed her to the chapel, it was all very beautiful and sacred looking. Pairs and pairs of eyes focused on me though, and I noticed boys filing in, which confused me since this was an all girls school. I asked Gretchen about it.

"The boys school shares certain things with us like the chapel for morning mass." Then Gretchen gasped and whispered loudly to me. "Oh there he is!"

"Who?" I asked with confusion, she was acting hysterical.

"Kyle Scheible!"

Walking in the line of boys to the priest was a boy far too handsome to be in high school, but you could clearly tell he is in fact in high school. Is he the usual ghostly pale and manic panic black haired with piercings type I go for? No, he was so much better than that. Something I thought I'd never say.

I can't believe that I can actually understand Gretchen's state of hysteria, but I do.

He has hooded, sleepy looking dark green eyes, with flecks of Hazel, I saw this as he walked by me. His lashes were poetically long and his nose pronounced beautifully. His lips were drawn in a pout that matched his careless posture of hands buried in the pockets of his khakis, which should have taken away how hot he is but it didn't.

His hair, God his hair needed the attention of my fingers combing through the dark chocolate curls. He wore it longish in a poetic way, his lean physique made him look taller, and he has the sort of neck you just know smells so good.

And because Gretchen isn't that great of a whisperer, he did look over. It was a lazy look over at first, like he was used to these whispers of him, which he probably was. But then his lazily droopy eyes popped open and bit when looking over at us. At me.

Oh no, oh God he was looking over at me? I immediately felt self conscious, what if he notices my breakouts? What if he finds my nose strange or finds me annoying looking? It's a catholic school. What if my look was too Crucible for him? Why did this guy who I don't know, opinion matter so much to me?

He looked at me, he really looked at me– Oh God, he stepped out of line to walk over straight to me. I could barely hear Gretchen's panicking, it was just me and him in this place of worship. Someone whispered how Kyle never approaches anyone.

He then stood over me, my eyes widened a bit and a hardly there smirk painted his pursed lips. His dead eyes swept over me, and in a lazy voice he asked, "Do you smoke?"

"Yes."

I don't know why I said it, I've never touched cigarettes in my life and I've only had one beer when I decided alcohol wasn't for me. But for this mystery boy, I thoughtlessly said yes.

"I mean no, I lied, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that." I said breathlessly. Why was I out of breath?"

Kyle just…smiled at me, it looked foreign on his lips like he wasn't used to it. "What's your name?" His voice was musically calm.

I opened my mouth to answer but I was up next to bite the wafer and sip the wine. I didn't hear from Kyle for the rest of the day.

@meetmyothersouls

[gfpines3]

Introductions

(Note: I do not own Gravity Falls nor its characters. All rights reserved for Disney and Alex Hirsch. Fanfictions along with OC characters are all mine from research and watching the show! Please don’t sue! We put the “Fun” in no Refunds!)

Mabel Pines: Gravity Falls!

Dipper Pines: Gravity Falls!

Soos: Gravity Falls, Yo!

Stan Pines: Gravity Falls!

Mcgucket: hee hee hee Gravity Falls!

Ford Pines: Gravity Falls!

Grenda and Candy: * Screams!*

Wendy: Gravity Falls!

Waddles: *oink oink* (Translation: Gravity Falls)

Misty Meadows: Gravity Falls Season 3 Fanfiction! (Tips the dipper hat)

Misty Meadows: Hi, I’m Misty Meadows and I am the owner of this Tumblr for my Gravity Falls fanfiction. (Is that a good introduction? Lol)

(clapperboard sound*) Anyways, I’ve been a Gravity Falls fan since I first saw the show come out as a kid. At the time, I was a huge nerd for Cryptozoology which a lot of people found super weird.

Yet, this show helped me accept my weirdness and made it normal. But, when it came to an end, I was heartbroken.

So of course, like everyone else in the fandom, I cried, ate ice cream and rewatched it, then finally, accepted its ended.

Yet, throughout that time, I decided to read fanfics from other writers. Some were pretty good but, some were very….weird ( cough Pinecest gross! Cough) That’s when I thought, maybe I should give it a try. I had a lot of success with some to my friends but, some failures too. I explored other fandoms and wrote for those. Then I took a break from writing all together which devastated me greatly.

I then rewatched Gravity Falls again, laughed, cried and realized what should have been my inspiration instead. Alex Hirsh created this show about family, growing up, adventure, mystery and change so, I wanted to continue that message and decided this was what I needed. But I couldn’t do it alone of course. I needed the character’s helps as well as research. (No not the voice actors nor Hirsch himself. The fictional characters. (No, I am not crazy this is just for fun!))

Dipper Pines: Hi, I’m Dipper Pines

Mabel Pines: And I’m Mabel Pines

Dipper Pines: And we played us on…

Mabel Pines: GRAVITY FALLS! (breaks camera with loud scream) whoops!

(Clapperboard)

Dipper Pines: When we last left Gravity Falls, we said goodbye to our friends and family

Mabel Pines: Boooo!

Dipper Pines: But, then me, Mabel and our Great uncles Stan and Ford got a cryptic letter!

Stanley Pines: I was suspicious about the whole thing but Ford however (Laughs) he was easily impressed!

Ford Pines: (Laughs in embarrassment) I was easily impressed!

Stanley Pines: So, impressed.

Mabel Pines: Of course, as the mystery twins we decoded this letter easily.

(Flashback to Dipper eating lots of pens and Mabel using yarn to connect letters on the board. Mabel Pines: What does it mean?!!!!)

Dipper Pines: But when we did, we found out we needed to travel back to Gravity Falls at an abandoned studio where we were surprised to see...

Mabel Pines: Grunkle Stan and Ford!!

Stanley Pines: We were defiantly happy to see the little goobers again!

Ford Pines: Yet the question was why were we here? And that’s when we met Misty

Dipper Pines: Misty…

Mabel Pines: Misty…

Stanley Pines: Misty Meadows.

Ford pines: She soon had use take our letters to make an image and it turned out to be...

Stanley Pines: The freaking number 3! All this way for a number I said but, turned out there was more.

Dipper Pines: She said, and I quote “ You all have more stories to tell to the fandom and the audience than what was in Journal 3.”

Ford Pines: Which at the time was making a lot of profit, although I highly recommend destroying them.

Stanley Pines: Bro are you kidding, those royalty checks help us travel the world!

Ford Pines: Still, they are very dangerous, and I highly recommend not reading them at all.

Mabel Pines: Misty then said how the show should come back through fanfiction which I was all about especially with some of the things my character was going to do!

Dipper Pines: Although at first, I wasn’t sure how this would work,

Stanley Pines: Seemed very unlikely.

Ford Pines: Impossible even!

Stanley Pines: I was about to leave like that but then she sat me down, fed me bacon and then...

Dipper Pines: Then she showed us the script and we all came together and liked it.

Mabel Pines: Of course, we had some editing to do.

Ford Pines After all this is the history of Gravity Falls and the history of the Pines family we are talking about.

Mabel Pines: At first it was a little hard with all the.. creative differences

(flaskback)

Misty: I know what you are saying but no, we are not bringing footbot into this!

Stanley Pines: Oh, come on, the kids love footbot!

Mabel Pines: I just don’t see how these ships work … I mean I’m a match maker but these ships suck!

Dipper Pines: And why am I still sweaty and awkward like seriously can’t I have more character development here!

Ford Pines: “For the power of Science?” are we really going with that as my catchphrase here?

(Everyone arguing/ Flashback end)

Stanley Pines: So, after a long night of editing and workshopping

Dipper Pines: we came together and got our old friends together

Mabel Pines: And the whole town

Ford Pines: And finally, we made our third season in story form.

Misty Meadows: And trust us when we say this season is going to be cray cray! (do kids say that still?)

Dipper Pines: It’s got old mysteries as well as new ones!

(scene) “What the heck is going on?!” Dipper shouts as he sees the gnomes battle the fairies.

( Another Scene) “Look out!” Mabel shouts as they drive the go cart from a terrifying creature!

“Man, this is some serious Dejvu!” Dipper states.

Ford Pines: Action and adventure!

(Scene) “Quick catch it! Before it gets away!” Ford says pointing to the strange bat like creature on the roof. Suddenly, the creature fell onto Soos’ face.

“Ahhhhh kill it! Kill it!!!!!” Soos shouts. The Pines twins then both took out their brooms and began beating Soos with it.

(Another scene) “According to the readings,” Dipper said looking at the scanner while the rest of the Pines family was behind him. “The ghost should be right...” he soon saw the refrigerator shaking and leaking ectoplasm all over the floor.

“One two three not it!” Mabel quickly said while the rest said not it.

“Not... ah man!” Dipper says.

Stanely Pines: Some new crimes!

(Scene) “Wait you did what!” Ford Yells over the phone with Stan on the other line

“I just so happened to punch a clown at a kid’s birthday party, I didn’t know it was a crime!?”

(Another scene)

“Freeze!” Sheriff Blubs yells.

“Oh no! it’s the po po! Lets go!” Wendy yells and drags Mabel with her to run.

Mabel Pines: And of course, some ROMANCE!

(Scene) “DIPPER!” Mabel yells scaring Dipper out of his seat on the log. She then picks up the phone and squeals. “I can’t believe you two are dating!”

(Another scene) “Grunkle Stan’s date might be a Vampire?!” Dipper shouts

“The lucky ones!” Mabel sighed irritably

Soos: oh, and let’s not forget the plot twists DUDES!!!!

(Scene) “Mom and dad are doing what?” Mabel shouts

(Another scene) “Everyone we have an announcement!” Dipper says hold a glass soda bottle of Mr. Pitt Soda in front of the family.

(Another (Another) scene) “My dad was a what?” Soos shouts.

(More scenes after this)“There’s another Journal?!!” Dipper yells.

“She is a what?!” Mabel yells!

“You did what it the other dimensions?!” Stan says surprised.

“Who are you again?!” Ford Pines says confused.

Misty Meadows: Plus, there may be a few new character coming to visit in Gravity Falls too that may change the dynamic!

Mabel Pines: In fact, this one new characters is definitely going to change everything!

Dipper Pines: Like major league change the Pines Family as we know it!

Ford Pines: They are….(Sorry guys we’re out of time)

Stan Pines: Seriously, we can’t even say the new character’s name at least! I mean the name will trip them up real fast and make them go crazy. (Nope sorry!) sigh, fine I guess they’ll have to read about it.

Misty Meadows: But yeah hold onto your Dipper hats and journals

Mabel Pines: (Yells of screen) And grappling hooks!

Misty Meadows: And Grappling hooks. Because this season in my fanfics at least will be an epic summer for the Pines family and for you readers. So, on behalf of the town and the Pines family, I welcome you all back to Gravity Falls.

Dvoxlnv yzxp gl Tizergb Uzooh uzmb!

[kanohivolitakk]

Miserix for the ask game!

This was one I really wanted so thank you so so much for asking it ;A;

First impression

I always liked Miserix. I discovered his charater via browsing on the wiki and reading about him made me interested in him. Since my language doesn't have pronouns I thought he was female for the longest time though lmao.

Impression now

My beloved strawberry dragon ;A;!!!! I love Miserix so much, he's easily one of my favorite characters and by far the most underrated in the series. In my opinion Miserix is one of the most interesting and intriguing characters in the series with by far one of the most compelling character journeys (even if we don't see much of it on-screen). Miserix is a tragedy, someone who was ousted from his position and ended up going mad as a result of his exile and isolation for thousands upon thousands years. He lost everything: his purpose, his identity and people to trust and was left with nothing but rage and vengeance! I find characters who lose themselves in their anger and vengeance such fascinating lost souls and Miserix is no exception! He's one of those characters I love to rotate in my head and dissect from all angles, trying to understand his psyche and mindset. And it's so much fun: Miserix is so fascinating to think about both with how he was in the past and how he is in the present. Not to mention how well Miserix fits thematically to the franchises themes, in particular on it's commentary of duty, identity and authority! He's an interesting character on his own and as a part of a larger world/narrative

In addition of finding Miserix's character so fascinating, I also love him for thow badass he is. And this isn't because of his powers and feats in story: The core of Miserix's badassness (at least for me) is his indimitation factor alone.Every time Miserix is on screen he brings so much tension to the scene he is in by his mere presence, he just has that type of charisma (for lack of a better term). Like Miserix doesn't have to do anything substantial, just by being present and saying somethign (even if it's just one line) is enough to get chills. Helps that he has easily some of the best lines in the series.

But god I love Miserix so so so much. I know that people dislike the Makuta as a species/faction retcon but I think it was worth it just for Miserix's character alone. His character does so much good for the series by introducing a fascinating major player into the series mythos who reflects some of the larger themes and ideas of the series really well!

Also the funny realization that Miserix is really similar to a favorite character of mine from another fandom but said character would hate him because he hates dragons and wants them all dead and...well..Miserix is a dragon so.

Favorite moment

This is hard since I like so many Miserix's scenes but none of them stand out as his absolutely best scene...probably his "official" introduction when The Federation of Fear freed him. It did a great job establishing his character that's also a great example of the intimidation factor I talked about earlier, while also giving him some really badass lines. Also him just telling Roodaka how she shouldn't puppet him is simutaneously funny and badass.

Honorable mention to that scene he arrived to Stelt and threatens a Steltian trader due to him not telling him Teridax's location. Mainly due to it having his best line in the entire series:

“I don’t have time for this. I have places to be, and bodies to break. I want you to send out a message to all your friends, to everyone who sails in and out of this island. Tell them Miserix is back, and when I find him, Teridax is dead!”

Like man, this line is such a perfect example of what I mean when I say Miserix gets the best lines! Its just raw unadulatered badassery and I love it!

Idea for a story

Post-canon/post-reformation where he gets to heal and rehabilate himself. I'm very much of the mind tht Miserix should have a chance at redemption: Yeah sure the guy was an angry vengeful dragon fueled by murderous rage against Teridax but he wasn't really a bad person himself nor did he bad things and thus shouldn't really be punished. I don't really like how some people in the fandom treat him like a rabid animal that needs to be put down when he isn't that far gone. He deserves to live and recover! Which is what I want: him slowly recovering from his trauma and pain, and him finding a community that will support and help him. Also get this dragon therapy or anger mangment at least he needs it so badly!

I'd also like to see a story about how Miserix was like before his exile. Miserix pre-exile self fascinates me to no end and getting to see what kind of person and leader he was before Teri ousted him would be great! Just to learn more about Miserix's values, how he saw his and the brotherhoods purpose in the larger MU and what his relation was to Mata Nui would be so cool! I need character studies on this guy and I need them now!

Unpopular opinion

Miserix is not boring! It annoys me so much when so many people in the fandom dismiss him, calling him a boring and unnecessary filler character that's an example of why the serials focus on superfulous new characters was bad.. when he's not. Yes, the serials have problem of ignoring the already established characters we already know and love, instead focusing on new players or bit characters fans weren't that attached to all because they wanted to focus on the grander world and have larger stakes...but this doesn't mean the new characters the serials revolved around weren't bad, and Miserix certainly wasn't! He is a geniunely compelling character with solid characterization and people ignoring him makes me so sad :C. Especially when they say he's just a violent angry dragon with nothing else going on for him. Sure he is a violent angry dragon, but he wasn't always like that and the story how he became who he is today is geniunely one of the better character stories in the series. Not to mention how he has a bit more going on with him than just angry murder dragon, even if you ignore his past self and focus on the Miserix we see in the story. Killing Teridax is his priority for sure, but there are times when he's able to prioritize on other things and thus doesn't mention his objective. See the scene where he interacts with the Hagah for a prime example.

Another thing that bothers me about peoples takes on Miserix is how people try to categorize Miserix on whether he was a "good" or "bad" person. One of the reasons Miserix is such a fascinating character to me is due to him being one of the few characters in the series that isn't really good or evil but somewhere in between. He was someone who was rigidly loyal to his duty and purpose in the universe, but he was willing to do some shady shit for accomplishing it. And when he became an angry murder dragon he only realy wanted to kill Teridax! He didn't care about hurting anyone else, only hurt them if they came to his way.

Also on a related note, I dislike Greg saying Miserix didn't care for his duty and was just happy of the power it gave him. Miserix is a much more interesting character if he geniunely cares about his job as the guardian of the universe, if he geiunely wants to protect the world and take good care of it to the point he sees it as his entire being rather than if he was as selfish and power hungry as other Makuta and was just content of his positiion of power so didn't try to take over anything.

Favorite relationship

Tbh none of Miserixs relationships are that "developed" in canon as I wish they were (curse for lategame Bionicle prioritizing over plot over character relationships) but I find his relationship with Takadox so fascinating. The little we know is that Miserix hired Takadox to act as a brotherhood spy due to him being "corruptible" and that Takadox most likely cared of Miserix based on how he looked at him when Barraki left that meeting with BoM. And that's just so fascinating. Miserix essentially taking advantage of Takadox is a concrete example of how he did some really fucked up stuff for the greater good. It makes me wonder how much Miserix affected Takadox becoming what we see in the story proper or if he was already a slimeball and Miserix just took advantage of that. Meanwhile Takadox seems to at least somewhat genuinely care about Miserix based on his reaction, which gives an interesting layer to his character. The idea that Takadox, someone who mainly sees others as toys or obstacles, would have had someone he actually loved and cared about is soo compelling to me and for that person to be someone as powerful and menacing as Miserix makes it even better. Their relationship has so much potential and I wish we had gotten to see them interact in canon. Oh well, at least we have fancontent and headcanons to satisfy those needs!

Favorite headcanon

His voice has an incredible vocal range and as such can vary his voice to sound between extremely feminine and masculine. His "regular" speaking voice he defaults to is either androgynous or does that weird thing where he manages to sound both feminine and masculine at once. It's hard to explain what I mean but basically speaking in a way that sounds like two people speaking at once.

[foxchild-v]

-Bound to an endless- pt.3 depts to pay

Oof, i can't stop 😅 this story practically writes itself. Thank you all for your kind words. This time it is starting to get darker.

Story summary - Previous part

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Summary: your kindness for your friends brings you into a hopeless situation. How will the personification of hope deal with it? And what will be the consequences of your act?

Warnings: angst, death of a character, slight degration, dream beeing an ass (😅), sprinkled with stronger language

Pairing: Morpheus x reader

**********************************************

"You have to help her! How can someone like you be so cold. I've met many immortal beeings, none of them like you Sandman!" Johanna screamed at the endless as you arrived in Rachels bedroom. Asserting the situation you slowly made your way to the bed she was lain in. Slowly starting to decay befor the watering eyes of her former lover.

Morpheus doesn't seem to be impressed by the mortal begging him. "Why should I. You are mortal after all. You all will die sooner or later" His coldness made you absolutely mad.

"Morpheus!"

He spun around at your tone. "How dare you speaking my name in front of a weak mortal?" - "I don't care. Johanna is my friend and you are weakening her. Rendering her of her hope." - "This lies in your duty, not mine."

Johanna didn't dare to leave the bedside. Silently asking you for your familiar warmth.

"Who held your realm upright in your absence?" Your voice was not more than a whisper. "I did not ask you to. I am not in your favor, just like you said yourself" Dark eyes staring you into the ground. You would melt under these starlit eyes if it wasn't for the harshness of his voice as he challenged you for your next step. You swallowed your pride as an eternal beeing.

"No, Lord Morpheus, Dream of the Endless and ruler of dreams and nightmares, but I shall ask you for your blessing." You where kneeling in front of him now. Begging him for his help. This was under your dignity but it was also your last straw. Relying on his pride and power. His heart shattered at the sight of you before him.

How can someone that powerful be such a sweet caring creature? So kind and warm to everyone you meet. You were begging him to help a worthless mortal and he realised that he can't deny you your wish as your look touched something in his heart. His body was moving on it's own. A stark contrast to his actions before. Tender and kind. He brushed your head with an oh so gentle touch. Looking at you with emotions that where burried deep inside of the endless. Without any word from his lips he makes his way to the bedside and sprinkled some sand over the sleeping woman.

You knew he couldn't safe her from dying, she used his pouch of sand. Not made for humans. But he could ended her suffering and a beautiful dream guided her into the realm of his sister now. Peaceful and warm.

You smiled at him gently. Your heart was beating fast as you grapped the endless' hand to thank him. The touch sent shivers down your spine. A small jolt of electicity where your skin met his. He looked at you with eyes filled with emotions. Adoration, faith, even love was shining through his gaze. You wanted him near you, feel him but he flinched away. Suddenly his posture changes as you felt a coldness creeping over you.

Morpheus swang his coat and passed you without paying you another glance. You stood there motionless. Tears gathering and stinging in your eyes. You willingly gave away your dignity to this man and yet you would do it again in a heartbeat. For your friends and for him. Why do you want to give Dream everything you could imagine when he is so cold and unapproachable? Is there such a thing as one sided bounding? A cruel joke from Destiny himself?

"Go after him! What the fuck are you waiting for?" Johannas voice was almost not noticable. She could almost feel the radiating heat from you two still lingering in the air.

You gathered your senses and ran down the stairs.

"Boss, I think you certainly need company. I will not let you go there alone." You heard someone talking. Of course. A raven. Dream of the Endless where always accompanied by a raven. "And I will certainly bring up hope for both of us"

He was right. This bird was a hopeful creature unlike his master. You approach the two of them and the Dreamlords face turned to you.

"Hope, you said? I am shure it will help." His mouth formed a small smile. You knew it wouldn't take long for him to collect your guilt upon him.

"You will accompany us, Y/N. Hope is a strong companion in the realm of the lightbringer. Don't you think so, Matthew?" He stated dryly.

The raven flapped it's wings "Lucienne told me all about you, Y/N. I am so sorry I brought you into this situation" You tapped his head gently "No worries, dear, I owe Dream something. And if it means I have to accompany him to hell, it shall be so" - "Don't you think hell is a little drastic?" The dreamlord shot Matthew a harsh glance and with that the raven sat on your shoulder. He felt safer there somehow knowing you wouldn't harm him. Not so shure about his master though. Even if you started to get a little colder in the presence of your meant to be soulbound.

Without further warning you where surrounded by sand and travelled to hell. Quite literally ...

@chaotic--bastard @just-a-little-fox @22carolina08 @dreaming-about-fanfictions @boofy1998

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Next part

[myveryownfanfiction]

Rickmas day 5!

prompt: Mistletoes & Secrets

Warnings: affair, cheating, boss/employee relationship, swearing, drunk side characters

AN: finally a longer one. I thought this fit so here we go. Enjoy!

Stolen glances. Dancing around the holiday decorations in the room. Trying to avoid the drinks table least someone gets drunk and slips up. Office holiday parties were the worst. Especially when you were actively having an affair with your boss. Looking up from my plastic cup, I caught the eye of Harry again.

“You know you can just go talk to him.” Sarah bumped my shoulder and I jumped. She gave me an apologetic glance and I shook my head with a sigh. Sometimes it was easier to play up the I have a crush on my boss line than it was to pretend nothing was going on. As long as Harrys role wasn’t suspected, everything was fine.

“You know perfectly well why I can’t Sarah.” I shot her a look. “Karen is a friend. I wouldn’t have this job if it wasn’t for her.”

“And you know perfectly well their marriage is on the rocks. I have it on good authority they are separating after the holidays and Harry will need some comforting.” Sarah gave me an amused smirk and I rolled my eyes.

“Sure. They’ll separate.” I knew they were as well but that didn’t mean I had to let the whole office know. That was Harry’s business. Not mine. “Besides that puts me in the most awkward position in the whole world. Crushing on my boss who happens to be the ex of one of my closest friends. Tell me how that ends in my fucking favor.” Sarah laughed and I was starting to get the impression that she was drunk. Or on her way.

“you know what he told me to do?” Oh yeah she was drunk. I shook my head as Harry looked over at me again. He raised an eyebrow and I rolled my eyes, taking a drink to hide my growing smirk. He nodded discreetly at me and pointed to the other room. I shrugged back and turned my attention back to Sarah. “Harry told me to invite Karl out for a drink and then, after about twenty minutes, casually drop into the conversation the fact that I’d like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.” I snorted into my drink and gave Sarah a look of surprise.

“Did he now?” I chuckled. Sarah nodded. “And I suppose you are passing that information onto me for a reason?” She nodded again.

“I’m telling you the same.” I scoffed and caught Harry leaving the room out of the corner of my eye. “Karen is the least of your worries. If she’s your friend like you say she is…”

“then she’ll never speak to me again for as long as we live. That life long friendship will mean fuck all.” I cut her off with a pointed look.

“She’ll understand.” Sarah finished. “She knows your type. I’ve seen some of the people she set you up with. If anything, she should see this coming.” Shaking my head, I took my leave.

“Thanks for the advice but Sarah,” she raised her eyebrows. “A damn lot of good it’ll do me. And do me a favor. Stop drinking before you say something you shouldn’t.” She looked into her cup and nodded. I took off after Harry and giggled as I closed the door. Leaning against it, I shook my head.

“What took you so long?” He teased. Walking over, his hands settled on my hips and I couldn’t stop the laugh from coming out. “What?”

“Sarah told me what you said to do about Karl.” Harry groaned and his head dropped against my shoulder. Gently, I reached up and brushed my fingers through his hair. “She also mentioned the separation. Just wanted to make sure you knew about that.” Harry nodded against me.

“I told her. Didn’t want her to be surprised when my schedule started showing court dates.” I hummed as he lifted his head.

“Probably a bad idea. She’s drunk and talking to half the office. They all should know by the end of the night. Expect lots of sympathy from those who know.” I cupped his cheek as his features fell. “I’ll do my best don’t worry. Damage control has become a hobby.” Harry nodded again before turning to kiss my palm.

“What would I do without you?” He sighed. I tensed a bit.

“let’s not go there.” He nodded. “And I’m not going to ask what comes next because I don’t want to go there tonight either.” Harry pulled me deeper into the room in agreement.

“Then let’s not.” He smirked as he came to a standstill. It took me a moment but when I realized his smirk and his posture I groaned before looking up.

“Of course.” I grumbled. Harry chuckled before drawing me closer to him. “We’re always so damn careful that I forget the secret hiding places that also get decorated.”

“Well considering this is the conference room and it’ll all be gone tomorrow, I figured we’d be safe.” I chuckled as I rested my hands on his chest.

“Always thinking things through aren’t you?” I teased before leaning in to kiss him. He hummed into the kiss and I finally relaxed for the first time that night. We broke away and Harry rested his head against mine.

“What else did Sarah say?” I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“she told me I should invite you out for drinks, then casually mention I want to get married and have lots of sex with you.” Harry laughed before pulling me close.

“Well I think that can be arranged.” We both laughed as he pulled me out the other door and led the way to a more secluded part of the office.

[thelugubriousheart3]

There's a whole chapter on perfectionism in Bird by Bird, because it is the great enemy of the writer, and of life, our sweet messy beautiful screwed up human lives. It is the voice of the oppressor. It will keep you very scared and restless your entire life if you do not awaken, and fight back, and if you're an artist, it will destroy you.

My pastor said last Sunday that if you don't change directions, you are going to end up where you are headed. Is that okay with you, to end up still desperately trying to achieve more, and to get the world to validate your parking ticket, and to get your possibly dead parents to see how amazing you always were?

This is not going to happen. They are either so dead, like mine are, or they are insatiable, or so relieved that you did not end up divorced--or if you did, then heavily into drugs, like the Woodson girl, or more out of shape than you are, like Esther's son. It's hopeless, and this is the good news.

Putting those tiny pesky parental voices aside, what about, oh, say, the entire rest of the world?

Do you mind even a little that you are still addicted to people-pleasing, and are still putting everyone else's needs and laundry and career ahead of your creative, spiritual life? Giving all your life force away, to "help" and impress. Well, your help is not helpful, and falls short.

Look, I struggle with this. I hate to be criticized. I am just the tiniest bit more sensitive than the average bear. And yet, I'm a writer, so I periodically put my work out there, and sometimes like all writers, I get terrible reviews, so personal in nature that they leave me panting. Even with a Facebook post, like the last one, do you have any idea what it's like to get 500-plus negative attacks, on my character, from truly bizarre strangers.

Really, it's not ideal.

Yet, I get to tell my truth. I get to seek meaning and realization. I get to live fully, wildly, imperfectly. That's why I'm alive. And all I actually have to offer as a writer, is my version of life. Every single thing that has happened to me is mine. As I've said a hundred times, if people wanted me to write more warmly about them, they should have behaved better

Is it okay with you that you blow off your writing, or whatever your creative/spiritual calling, because your priority is to go to the gym or do yoga five days a week? Would you give us one of those days back, to play or study poetry? To have an awakening? Have you asked yourself lately, "How alive am I willing to be?" It's all going very quickly. It's mid-May, for God's sake. Who knew. I thought it was late February.

It's time to get serious about joy and fulfillment, work on our books, songs, dances, gardens. But perfectionism is always lurking nearby, like the demonic prowling lion in the Old Testament, waiting to pounce. It will convince you that your work-in-progress is not great, and that you may never get published. (Wait, forget the prowling satanic lion--your parents, living or dead, almost just as loudly either way, and your aunt Beth, and your passive-aggressive friends, whom we all think you should ditch, are going to ask, "Oh, you're writing again? That's nice. Do you have an agent?")

Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you're 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn't go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It's going to break your heart. Don't let this happen. Repent just means to change direction--and NOT to be said by someone who is waggling their forefinger at you. Repentance is a blessing. Pick a new direction, one you wouldn't mind ending up at, and aim for that. Shoot the moon.

Here's how to break through the perfectionism: make a LOT of mistakes. Fall on your butt more often. Waste more paper, printing out your shitty first drafts, and maybe send a check to the Sierra Club. Celebrate messes--these are where the goods are. Put something on the calendar that you know you'll be terrible at, like dance lessons, or a meditation retreat, or boot camp. Find a writing partner, who will help you with your work, by reading it for you, and telling you the truth about it, with respect, to help you make it better and better; for whom you will do the same thing. Find someone who wants to steal his or her life back, too. Now; today. One wild and crazy thing: wears shorts out in public if it is hot, even if your legs are milky white or heavy. Go to a poetry slam. Go to open mike,and read the story you wrote about the hilariously god-awful family reunion, with a trusted friend, even though it could be better, and would hurt Uncle Ed's feelings if he read it, which he isn't going to.

Change his name and hair color--he won't even recognize himself.

At work, you begin to fulfill your artistic destiny. Wow! A reviewer may hate your style, or newspapers may neglect you, or 500 people may tell you that you are bitter, delusional and boring.

Let me ask you this: in the big juicy Zorba scheme of things, who fucking cares?

[heymeowmao]

 2022.09.28 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324818741396635821

[Truthfully - A1 TRIP & DOBI]

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I am Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. Welcome~ C: What a surprise that you’ve come to stream today! LYN: Are you not part of my fan board? I already posted an announcement saying that I would stream a little tonight. C: I finally caught it! LYN: You finally did, huh? I hope next time you can subscribe and next time you can also catch it because it will tell you when I am streaming. 

C: Have you recovered from your cold? LYN: I’ve been recovered. It’s not like I was afflicted for two months, it was just a few days. I heard people say that for colds if you don’t take medicine you’ll be okay in seven days, but if you do take medicine you’ll be okay in five. This is the difference between taking and not taking medicine. 

C: Have you eaten? LYN: I haven’t because... I’m on a diet. (I’ve eaten). /being dramatic/ I’ve eaten nothing at all today- just skin and bones- I haven’t even had water. Oh- I should drink water. LYN: Let me grab my cup! - /water asmr/ LYN: Cheers! C: Ning-ge, are you drinking 55% Er Guo Tou? LYN: /picks up the water bottle to look at it in disbelief/ How can I be drinking alcohol while streaming? I’d be cursed to death! Also, I met a friend today, and as we were chatting they asked if I usually drink. I told them I don’t drink, and they said I don’t look like the type. Adding to that the fact that I am from Dongbei it seems like me NOT consuming alcohol is a very strange thing. Let’s not talk about Dongbei- I have some friends from Inner Mongolia, and THEY can’t drink, either. You alcohol tolerance doesn’t have anything to do with where you come from? Perhaps the stereotype is that most people from these regions can hold their liquor but even so there are outliers who can’t. I am that outlier. Let me tell you all about my tolerance- one bottle of beer and I start to cry. All the injustices I’ve faced in my whole life come to the forefront and I start to cry. After two bottles of beer, I pretty much can’t walk anymore. These two long legs of mine become chopsticks. They’re not very easy to use.  C: You start to cry, even. LYN: What? Is crying after one bottle of beer make me sound too girly? No, right? It’s just because that we live in a harsh society and everyone has a lot of pressure. C: You don’t (seem girly). LYN: Firstly, my tolerance is low and secondly, I don’t really enjoy drinking. I don’t find any pleasure in it. People always say that when they drink they can experience some happiness, but I don’t. The only thing I feel is uncomfortable- I get a headache. Also- when I drink it shows on my face. It doesn’t matter how little the amount- one mouthful of red wine and my face is flushed. Sometimes veteran actors have told me that if I have an emotional scene, I should have a shot of liquor to bring up my emotions. When I first started acting I tried it out once- I bought and drank half a bottle of beer and I didn’t feel any of the effects of the alcohol, but my whole face was red. I said, “Director, my face is so red, do you think we can still shoot the scene?” Fro then on, I don’t dare to drink while filming. 

C: Lao-da, your bangs are longer. LYN: I put them in front of my face on purpose. So I can cover up some of my ugly, and also don’t I look more ~melancholy~? A Melancholy Guy (忧郁男子). Because from what I see there are two impressions people have of LYN: 1. LYN sings a lot of OSTs. and 2. LYN is a COMEDIAN. I’m a comedian??? I’m OBVIOUSLY a cool guy. Everyone says so.  LYN: Lately I’ve been criticized online for being ugly- it’s the most criticized I’ve ever been before. I mean, people have always said I was ugly, but lately it’s A LOT. I’m having mental break. I don’t even dare to eat- I only drink water. (joking) That’s why when I play games or the Switch, you know how you can name your character? All my names are designated as “Handsome/Cool Boy” (帅气男孩). This is truth. Not because I believe I am, but because I am trying to convince myself that I am. It’s alright, it doesn’t matter. C: You don’t want “Shaolin Master (少林师)” anymore? LYN: The Shaolin Master has expired. All my usernames used to be that, but now I want to turn over a new leaf, so I’m Handsome Boy now.

C: Are night scenes tiring? LYN: I actually like shooting night scenes better than day scenes. Why? Because my appearance- let’s use a few different methods to explain why- appearance-wise, I have a small nose and small eyes. There are few artists or actors in this industry with eyes/nose smaller than mine. So in the daytime, with my already small eyes and the sun shining down on them, it seems like my eyes are pretty much closed. A Chinese pancake with two red dates for eyes. In the daytime I like to close my eyes a little- I can’t open them very big - because the sun is too bright- it hurts my eyes, because I have astigmatism. So when I have shoots in the daytime my eyes are really small. But at night it’s better, because no matter how bright the lights are, I can take it. I just don’t like the sun. But with night scenes the bright light makes the makeup look heavy. C: Ning-ge, your eyes aren’t that big to begin with. LYN: ... I wasn’t talking about the Shandong Round Dates, I was talking about those... small wild dates.

C: You caught a cold? LYN: I had one, there are still some after-effects. I still SOUND like I’m sick, but everything else is ok. C: After your cold, your voice sounds much more charming~ LYN: Look at that~ I think... oh- the “bubble” sound seems to have gotten stronger. So it turns out that you all find this type of sound charming- when it sounds like you have a motor in your mouth? Like a motorcycle!  LYN: I see online that guys record clips of themselves saying some great quotes- well, sometimes they’re not great, but just cheesy pick-up lines- but when they speak, you have two things to focus on: 1. The “bubble” sound, and 2. Make it breathy. Let me show you an example, with some song lyrics. - /demonstrates/ LYN: Start it with the bubble and end it with a breath. C: You need a good nasal tone. LYN: No, nasal tone ~sounds like this~

C: I’m using my data to watch. LYN: It’s better to find someplace with wifi, because my stream is extremely HQ. Watching 2-3 hours of my stream is like watching a movie. Think about it- if you watch an HQ movie with your phone how much would it cost you in data?? I firmly believe that if you use your roaming data to watch my stream... unless you are very rich, then you can watch with your data. But I suggest finding wifi- I think one stream will use up at least 1-2GB, right? I don’t know, I’ve never tried it. C: No. For you it’s worth it. (paying for roaming data) LYN: Am I supposed to be touched by you saying that? I told you not to watch my stream with data, because it would cost you at least 1-2GB, that’s about 5RMB; and someone says, “No! For you, spending this 5RMB is worth it.” Thank you. XD

C: Lao-da, are you singing today? LYN: I can! If you want to hear something, I can sing it later.

C: How long has the stream been on? LYN: Just five minutes. You didn’t miss anything. I didn’t say anything at all prior to this. 

C: Don’t sing, your voice can’t take it. LYN: What nonsense are you saying? I’m a singer. I can’t too arrogantly say that I’m an actor, because right now I don’t have too many works out yet. But I can confidently say that I’m a singer. I’m alright, though- because as a singer I think we should be able to overcome some discomfort regarding our voices. I once experienced a situation- and that day my throat hurt badly and my voice was hoarse but I had a performance, and it was being streamed live. That was the only time I really felt the pressure. Other times even when my throat hurts, I know that work is work and when I have to sing, I have to sing. C: Ning-ge, I want to hear WSL’s songs. LYN: /squints/ If you want to hear WSL’s songs, go to HIS weibo and leave a message. What are you chatting with me for? Go tell him. How ignorant.  C: WSL says he wants copyright royalties. LYN: I don’t know- do you need a copyright to sing his songs? Wait- of course you do. But if I send him a message and say, “Long-ge, I want to sing a couple of your songs in my stream. Can you not ask me to pay a fee?” I think he would show my some face. Of course, it’s not all about the copyright.

C: Ning-ge, how are you with riding horses now? LYN: Riding a horse? I’m alright- which is to say, I CAN ride them. I can ride them, but if you want me to flip upside-down and pick something from the ground and get back up- that I can’t do. But normally for going forward and turning back, those movements I am capable of.  C: Will you still be scared into crying when you ride? LYN: Ehm... I cried once, and then after that I was able to hold it in. It’s too shameful. If I were a little kid- someone born after the 2000′s- it’d be okay for me to cry, cute even. The jiejie standing around would sympathize. But I’m already 30+. If this old face rides a horse and starts crying, do you think that would be cute? I can’t cry, so I’ve been holding it back. I don’t cry while riding, but then I’m off the horse and am in a resting area, I secretly bawl. Men’s tears are like this- they can’t be seen by others. They only fall in a place where others can’t see. C: Can you gallop? LYN: I won’t say anything more. I ride a lot in Floating World, you can watch that when it’s out. You can also watch the dramas I’ve shot before. There were scenes where I galloped. It’s possible for even me. 

C: Will Zi Chuan air this year? LYN: I’m 80% sure it will air by the end of the year. I’ve been contacted to go back and supplement the voice acting. I’ll do that in early October, and when it’s all done I guess it can air by the end of the year. I think it will be able to, so you can watch Zi Chuan this year.  LYN: But I want to say to my fans- that even though I’ve debuted for about four years now, and have been shooting dramas for three of them, but all I’ve ever acted as is supporting characters. It’s either third, fourth, or maybe second male lead. I’ve been eighth male before, and have also cameo’d in a few things. But up until now I’ve always been support. I know a lot of my fans hope to see more of me, but I really don’t have a lot of scenes in those dramas before. Zi Chuan, for example, in 48 episodes I only have about 200 scenes. In Heroes BCF had 360 scenes. So it’s not much; most of my scenes (Zi Chuan) are in the second part- which we haven’t filmed yet. For Floating World I only have 191 scenes.  C: Feng-feng? LYN: Oh, WCF (Hot Blooded Youth)? That was my first drama, so I don’t think I have an impression of how many scenes I did. It wasn’t a small amount, in any case. C: It took you 5 months to shoot 191 scenes? LYN: All good works need to “refine gold into powder”. That’s right. For every production every person needs to have the mindset of a craftsman. No production is created willy-nilly. Every great actor needs hundreds and thousands of hours of hard work and effort, to have experienced great trials, before they can be considered a real actor. So I think being an actor is extremely difficult. [t/n: making up for his past slip, where he said acting was easy X’D] LYN: Why did it take 5 months to shoot 191 scenes? Because there were too many fight scenes!! We were fighting every day and for nothing at all. I told you about it, Zhuo Bufan is the best swordsman in the world, so he is always looking for a fight. There were so many fight scenes... but when I experience these things I might think they are torturous in the moment- seeing my schedule filled with “fight scene” day after day just gives me a headache- but when you look back on it, you would be thankful for the experience. Really. Because for this drama I have a few fight scenes as well- not a lot, but not a little- but I had a sudden feeling that I’ve made a breakthrough. I don’t know if you’ve ever worked at something for a long time and then suddenly get the feeling you understand everything perfectly? I think I’ve had a breakthrough with fight scenes. Because most of them are a set of moves, but when I got to this drama I suddenly felt that when the stunt teacher showed it to me once, I could remember it already. It’s like in the wuxia novels and the student and master and exchanging blows, and the third person just watching on learned by observation! I was in disbelief- how could you learn such a long martial art just by watching?? There’s no way. But then when it actually happens, I see that it’s because you’ve pretty much learned all the basic moves before. It’s just the same: hack, slash, swipe, block, kick. Only the order changes. // So I thank my previous drama for the training. I had a hard time, but I gained something from it.  LYN: I still need to say, though- I still can’t do fight scenes well. I didn’t say I was any good, I just wanted tot thank my previous drama for the training. I spent five months shooting for Floating World and I think it was worth it. Of course, I also improved the slightest in my performance, but I most want to thank it for honing my fight skills. // Every drama I finish, there is something I learn the most from it, Floating World just happened to be how to do fight scenes.

C: What shade of foundation does Ning Yuanzhou use? LYN: /laughs/ People seem to be very interested in my character’s foundation, because I was suppressed by No.13 once. When shooting for Floating World I had shade No.13. A lot of people may not know because they don’t use or have no experience with make-up. Shade No.13 is... not very frequently used by us yellow-toned individuals. Do you understand? That is- even if you want to buy it in this country, you’d be hard-pressed to find it. No one buys it, so why should places stock it? But the drama sourced it from overseas and applied it to my face- that’s just the look we were going for. It really made me consider my appearance. I’d see myself in the mirror- and I’m talking to myself now! /looking at the camera/- “Alright. This is fine. Let me just perform my part well, and see if I can improve upon my acting.” There’s no way anyone would start to like my face after watching this drama. LYN: I didn’t even want to look at myself in the mirror. As we were shooting and the makeup artist tells me it’s time to touch up, I told them, “No need. Do you think this /gestures to his face/ needs any touching up?” But honestly- when you’re living in the moment it’s easy for people to be confused, right? I don’t know if you’ve experienced this: only after you come back from experiencing something and have time to reflect, can you think clearly- so I think that this role was actually very good. Because it allowed me, as the actor Liu Yuning, to be able to really get into character. In looking at the guzhuang drama’s I’ve done until now, there hasn’t really been a change in dress and appearance- is there a difference? Yes. But not drastically- because it’s always going to be this same face. It’s still going to be me acting. But this character was unique in that it was so different from the others, so I really enjoyed it. LYN: So let’s get back to the topic of Ning Yuanzhou’s foundation. At the time, I thought Floating World would be when I was most troubles by my appearance, but I didn’t think that this day would come, because NOW I am troubles by my appearance. This just goes to prove that once you jump over one of life’s hurdles another one will be waiting. There might be another hurdle, or perhaps... a pit. You can never tell! :D C: So what shade do you use? LYN: When we first started off I was very pale- we used either No. 2 or No. 3. I say both because they used both... for a shade No. 2.5. I never knew! It turns out you can mix the colors for foundation, too. I always thought that you were set for either 2 or either 3. But now they mix it! As we kept shooting, they told me, “Ning-ge, should we use a lighter shade?” and I asked them, “Why? Is it because you think I’m too ugly?” They said, “No!” well of course they would say that, out of politeness. It was because all the other male actors had were lighter than me, so then I secretly took a peek at what shade THEY were using. All less than me. How can this be acceptable? If the five of us were in the same frame it’d be four pale faces and one dark one! I’d look like the waiter! That’s no good. We’ve got to one-up them! You’ll notice that if there’s some event and a group of artists take a picture, inevitably the conversation will turn to focus on who is the palest- and therefore the “prettiest”. (It’s really like that!)- there will be a comparison. So in this case, it’s no good, and I should adjust the color of my foundation, too. We switched to No.2, but after I few days I got the feeling... it’s TOO white. D: I’m a really straight male, alright. So I can’t stand if I am saying some serious/urgent things and my face is just- sheet white. So later I told them I could go back to the darker shade, so I can look manlier. Because “men have to fight”. [t/n: referencing that song, again.] Lately- if I’ve gotten tan they’ll use a mix of 2 and 3. If we’re shooting in the tent, we’ll use no.3. - /suddenly breaks out into “Men Have to Fight” for two lines/

C: Ning-ge, have you turned on the big eyes (beauty filters)? LYN: No, I don’t use those strange effects when I stream, like fixing the shape of my nose or eyes. I only use the blur tool... and the slimming effect, just a little. Just the blur tool, to make my skin look a little better. Because I’m always in front of the camera, anyway. I’ve been on variety shows, so you all know what I look like already! I go on shows, I perform at events. It’s not like I’m wearing a mask around in life. When I’m streaming for three hours at a time, I hope that even if you’re not my fan you can still be able to see something passable, and at the very least not be annoyed by how I look. Right? If I sit here looking ugly and you start to become annoyed at me, then I’d be done for. So just a little blurring effect. It’s enough. It’s not like we’re filming some documentary, and even if we were- nature/food documentaries still touch up the colors. They also add filters to make the image appear more beautiful. It’s normal. Don’t get hung up on this. But I really haven’t turned on the “big eyes” filter.

C: Ning-ge, I haven’t seen one of your stage performances in so long! LYN: ... I don’t think there have been any stages for me to be on, lately. A few events have invited me, but I rejected them. Not because I’m so amazing! But because my current drama.. it’s a pretty complicated role and I don’t want to split my attention. Honestly, everyday I- - /Daimi barking/ LYN: Other than filming, I don’t really want to do anything else right now. When I used to shoot dramas, I would also find some time to play games and relax, or go out for a meal with friends. But this time I’m not interested in any of that. I’m giving this role 120%- not because I’m professional, but maybe because I’m dumb. I don’t have enough mental capacity to think of other things. I apologize, I’m a bit more foolish than most. C: You’re addicted. LYN: I really am. I have to thank the drama, for that. I always want to tell my fans- my friends- just trust me. Let’s all wait for the result. :)

LYN: But anyway, I’m just here to chat a little. I haven’t really go anything planned. If you want to hear a few songs, I can sing. Lately I’ve released a song called “浮生 (Floating Life)” [Floating Life: Fantasy World] (t/n: somehow related to Floating World)... I won’t sing it yet, but maybe next time. I’ll wait for it to near the end of its run before I sing it. LYN: It was a bit difficult for me- especially the rap part. I’m really not great at it. Sometimes I think about what I want to sing during my streams, and the other day I heard this song: “麒麟 (Kirin)” (早安 Zao An, Rap of China). // I wanted to study this song and then sing it for you for entertainment, because I’ve seen a lot of people covering this song. I wanted to try. But when I try to sing this my mouth can’t catch up.  C: The tone of voice doesn’t suit you. LYN: What do you mean? I don’t sound as good a him, sure, but- /clears his throat/ This must be a new friend. C: Try it out, ge. LYN: Let’s check it out together, because the lyrics are kind of long. Let me see if I can even READ it. - /starts reciting lyrics, and it devolves into an old-timey style Dongbei rap/ LYN: Let me see if I can get it down. The fast parts are more difficult. For this part, my brain can still follow. - /continues/ LYN: You know there’s this style of performing rap- which is he sings everything else, and I’m in charge of following along with the last three words. - LYN: Someone said ZXD-laoshi is here? Welcome, welcome~ I’m discussing music with my friends. Welcome, please watch for a bit. - LYN: So let’s try rapping, but only following along with the latter three words. The front is “Are you ready?! afjkdla”- could we try it? C: Forget it, ge. LYN: If you kept telling me to try, I would forget it. But now that you told me to forget it, I really want to try. Should I... try? // Why is it telling me there are no lyrics?? If there aren’t any, then let’s not push it. We could play the original track and hum along...  - /fudges his way through 麒麟 (Kirin) by 早安 Zao An/; /adds in a bunch of “are you ready?”s for the hype/ *(t/n: I say “fudges” because he is making noises but only really saying the last word of the rap parts, but when it gets slow enough for him to follow it’s good! XD) LYN: I muddled my way through. LYN: Rap, to me, is very difficult. My mouth can’t move that fast. /huffing/ This (rapping) really requires some stamina. I didn’t even really sing, but it feels like I’ve already done two sets of sit-ups. You really need core strength to sing these songs.

LYN: How about this, friends- /setting up the bathroom break/ Shh! I think my neighbors are fighting. Friends, I think they’re fighting. You listen. It’s real this time! Let me go take a look, so that no lives are lost. I’ll go take a look. Wait for me. I’ll play you a vcr. - bathroom break #1

- /comes back without missing a few outer layers/ LYN: One song has made me very hot. I’ve taken my clothes off! C: How did the neighbor’s fight go? LYN: They “died” most miserably. But after I intervened they were able to calm down. So I sang them 童话 (Fairytale). “I forgot how long it’s been since I’ve heard your voice. Since I’ve heard you tell your favorite story. I thought for a long time and started to panic. Have I done something wrong?” So I sang them this song and they reconciled. In just a short three minutes I saved a lovely relationship. C: We want to hear it, too! LYN: I’ll sing it for you. Let’s see if I can save your relationships. Are there any fans out there who are having a spat with their husbands? XD He doesn’t want you to watch LYN’s streams, but you are so you’ve had a fight. Now I’ll sing this song for you to make amends. - /童话 (Fairy Tale) [Guang Liang]/ (& tries to splice it with a couple different songs XD) LYN: That’s why, music can really redeem a person. A short “Fairytale” saved a relationship. C: Ning-ge, I am having a fight with my husband. We’re considering a divorce. LYN: What, divorce? Don’t mess around. Happily live your life together. If you can get by peacefully, then live well.

C: Ning-ge, you’re so gentle today. LYN: When was I ever mean? Tell me, when was I not gentle?!? I think I’m a pretty calm/neutral person. C: You’re getting fierce right now. LYN: No, that’s because I’m streaming. Normally I’m a very good person to get along with. If you talk about me to people who’ve met me, and ask them if they get along with me, they’ll say that I am good to get along with. Because I don’t normally interact in the first place. So really, they don’t know if I AM good to get along with, but I just seem like someone who would be. I can attest- I am a very good person to get along with. LYN: /reading comments/ Alright, let’s not let it get to our heads. I told you I’m good to get along with, and some of you are saying, “Let’s meet up and prove that.”

LYN: I won’t stream long today, only until about 10p. I came here to keep my promise to you, because I really don’t know when the next time I’ll be able to stream is. I’ll be busy later, when I start to record some OSTs, and do some voice acting... ALZ has called me to do voice acting, so in-between shootings I’ll go do that. C: Ning-ge, have you decided on your next drama yet? LYN: I’m not that good- there’s really not a market for me. I don’t have anything yet. The next one is proving difficult to find. // I’ve been caught up with the current drama’s script, so I haven’t really looked at any new scripts. Of course, they’ve been sent to me, but I don’t have the interest in finding another just yet- I just want to finish this one first. I know that media accounts are saying that I’ve been cast for a few, but I haven’t yet. I haven’t had the time to look. I don’t have work (after YNGS). LYN: I know a lot of you are afraid that I don’t have any work, but don’t be. I am very realistic when it comes to my business practices. I won’t let myself go without work for long. From an outside perspective of those who don’t know me- you might think that I’m a failure, that I’m just wasting away and not getting anywhere (climbing up the ladder) in the industry. The people who say this don’t understand me. I am really the type who won’t let myself slow down- I need to have work. But not only do I need work, I need good work. Like working with brilliant actors like Tao-jie- to me, that is “good” work. 

LYN: Oh? Is she here? See- when you mention Tao-jie, Tao-jie comes. LYN: When you compliment someone to their face it seems a little fake, so that’s why you have to compliment them behind their backs. When I was complimenting Tao-jie just now, I had no idea she was watching my stream. It doesn’t tell me. ZXD, also- is a very good actress. Is she gone? LYN: I haven’t spoken much about Tao-jie, because I wanted to tell you about it when the drama started airing. But I had a very good time while shooting for ZZJDG (BYOL). A lot of crews just think of it as work, but with this crew we all had a great time. I think Tao-jie is a very mature and brilliant actor; she’s taught me a lot on set. I’m not just saying this to be a good business partner, I really secretly learned a lot of techniques from (observing) her. C: Connect with her. LYN: I’m afraid I don’t have the right to. C: Beautiful and kind. LYN: She really is. C: Would we be lucky enough to see Liu Tao and Liu Yuning connect on stream? LYN: Um... you aren’t that lucky. You might not be. LYN: She left. See? She came to watch my stream and you’re all pushing us to connect. Who do you think you are? There’s no way she could just randomly chat with you all.  LYN: But Tao-jie took really good care of me. She guided me while acting- very good actors can make it so that you invest your emotions and the scene plays out naturally. It was really comfortable filming with her. // I’m really very attached to the drama, so I was thinking that when it wraps- even though it’s already wrapped for me- I want to go back to Chengdu for the wrap party. That’s what I want to do, but it depends on if my schedule allows. C: Are you a very emotional person? LYN: I’m alright. I’m just very grateful for the actors and the drama crews that have worked with me. You all know that I am a pretty excitable person- you can tell by how I speak to you most of the time. But I can make myself more balanced out. I really am grateful to everyone I’ve worked with, and even though we may never see each other again, in the time that I have spent with them I really respect them. 

LYN: Oh- where was I? People were saying that I just let myself waste away. But just think of where I started. I’ve only debuted four years and HOW many songs have I released?? If I were a failure, why would I have released so many? So I’m not- I just give it my all. It has nothing to do with hard work- I’m just investing my everything. Because I don’t want to let myself have nothing to do. This applies to dramas, too. I started officially acting in 2021- once I started I haven’t really stopped. I’ve picked up one after another, so I won’t let myself stop now.  C: Four years, 117 songs. LYN: Right? So if we average it out its... 30 songs a year. With twelve months in a year, that means I had to have released 2.5 songs every month. For a singer to release 2.5 songs every month- think about the probability. How many singers do you know can release 2.5 songs in a month? I’ve also recorded a few OSTs this week that haven’t been released yet.

LYN: For those fans out there who are worried for my career- don’t worry. I know better than you what I need to be doing. And I’ve seen what people are saying about me online and I understand them- it’s just because they don’t know me. Of course, they are not required to know me, they don’t need to know me. Who am I, even? When people make posts online I think it’s just a short expression of their feelings. If they want to curse and slander me, let them. They don’t need to know me, and I totally understand. As long as I know what I am doing and what I need to do, that’s enough. I know what I want.

LYN: I shot my first drama in 2018- I debuted in 2018! How old does that make me? I debuted so late in life, do you think I dare let this opportunity go to waste?? The first drama I shot was the role Linghe Ent.’s Bai-laoshi gave me in Hot Blooded Youth. Honestly, at that time I really wanted to BE an actor, but didn’t think I had what it took. I thought I would take any chance I could get to even be a part of acting. Even after I finished with that drama, I still didn’t think I could even continue to be an actor. I only knew that if there was another chance, I would still take it. I was a singer- and didn’t consider that acting could become part of my career. I just thought that if someone wanted me to, I could act a little. Normally I would hold my concerts, release albums, and meet you through some variety shows and I was satisfied with that thought. LYN: I know people online are saying I have backers and resources. The truth is, a lot of people are giving me resources. A lot of people do give me work to do. But if you say that I have a company backing me- if you really know or understand this industry, you’ll know that it’s very small- you can go ask anyone if I have someone backing me. Go ask, and then you’ll know whether I really do have resources or backers. If I had anyone backing me, do you still think there would be so many people online slandering me? I have no one to control/subdue the comments. I’m free-range. LYN: Then, after HBY I went to shoot Ultimate Note. It was after the holiday break- I went to do a simple surgery and couldn’t sing for three months after. As a singer, being unable to sing, what else could I do?? I couldn’t stand the thought of me sitting around doing nothing. Coincidentally, Bai-laoshi came to me again with a drama (Ultimate Note) and gave me the role of Hei Yanjing. // I’m very thankful for Linghe’s Bai Yicong-laoshi because he’s the reason I was able to become an actor at all. And- I’ll be honest with you- when I was shooting HBY, he was already talking to me about Zi Chuan. But who would have known that though we talked about it in 2018, we only really got to film it in 2021. I’m thankful for the fact he brought me into this industry, and gave me my first two dramas. LYN: My third drama was The Long Ballad. Even after shooting the first two, I was still unclear on what it meant to be an actor. I didn’t think of it- not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t think I had the right to. There are so many actors already, and there was no one out there who knew that LYN was now acting, so even if they had any scripts they wouldn’t know to consider me. It just so happens that I got to know Bai-laoshi, and he considered me for a few productions. I never thought that I NEEDED to be an actor, because I didn’t think I had the right or the resources. It’s only after you’ve worked with a crew and some directors/producers that the work follows- but I didn’t have that to start. But the director of The Long Ballad- Chu Yuibin- he was my first (real) director. I started to chat with him- we get along very well now- and he said, “Xiao Ning, after your first day on set I nearly had a breakdown. I could tell you’re a rookie who’s never acted before.” The only thing I could do was agree. I’d never done a (guzhuang) drama before, what was a crew, even?? But he said that after a month of filming he felt more at ease with me. I was able to get into character. Up until that point I was just acting on instinct- it might not have been perfect, but at least it was real. He told me I got a lot better when I started to act as the bad guy (bc the scenes are shot out of order), and was I perhaps a bad guy to begin with? If he didn’t acknowledge I had something back then, he would never have recommended me for anything else after. LYN: He was the one who recommended me for The Long Ballad, so I guess you can say that he’s my backer. I met up with him to discuss this project, and this was well before I knew any of the producers. He asked if I would consider the role, and after he sent the script to me told me to meet with the producers, so they could “check out the goods”, so to speak. This is the normal process- you have to meet with the producers so that they can see how well you know the character, and how well you fit in with their bigger picture. We went for that first meeting in Beijing and it was pretty stiff, because none of us knew each other then. Chu-laoshi kept speaking for me, and trying to get me to chip in. You know me, with my Dongbei personality. If it’s a really big boss, I keep quiet; But if it’s a normal conversation you want, I can give it to you. I speak very realistically, and won’t try to pretend and put on airs because I know exactly how I started out. I’m a normal person, so I spoke to them as any normal person would. We started to get along quite nicely. Of course, no decisions were made at the table that night but they contacted me later and asked if I would accept the role. 

C: You sure can hold a conversation. LYN: If you get to know me in person, you’ll know that I’m not actually very good at it. Sometimes I can say things that might have you taken aback, but that’s just because I like to say practical things. I don’t like to pretend, and I hate the type of people who do. Hao Du is that type of person. XD After I finished shooting CGX- it hadn’t even aired yet, and neither had UN- I only had one drama out and it was HBY- which didn’t have good viewership. But it was after I finished with CGX that I felt like I started to LIKE acting. I said in an interview around that time as well, not only did I want to be an actor, I wanted to be a good actor. LYN: I had a sudden breakthrough with acting. Do you know what I mean? All of a sudden you have an epiphany and everything becomes clear. Like riding a bike- at first you may use your legs to push you along, but suddenly your feet are on the pedals and you get moving, and it all makes sense. You struggle and fall, and struggle and fall. But in one moment you’re riding smoothly and you’ve got it down. A lot of skills are like this- you have a sudden breakthrough. I got this feeling after finished CGX- suddenly I knew what acting WAS. The first two dramas I got through blind, but now I understood. If you wanted me to explain, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know whether I acted well or not, but I knew what I needed in order to act. I don’t mean that suddenly I was a genius, just that I knew what I had to do- even if I wasn’t good at the execution. From then on I told my studio that we would try out being an actor, because I has started to like acting. CGX was my first guzhuang drama, AND the first drama I was able to do the voice acting for; I consider it one of the more important dramas in my acting career. My experience with this drama was the one that really confirmed whether I could cut it as an actor or not. LYN: When I was shooting CGX, everyone knows that I pretty much didn’t have anything out at the time. People didn’t know who I was or if I could act. Of course, I don’t act well, even now. I always tell my fans not to go out and tell people about my acting- I’m working on it. I’m still learning. I’ve been with my acting coach for three years, now.

LYN: Bai Choufei- I think is a very good role. When we meet up I tell my friends that I met the best role at the best time. There’s something I gained from every role I’ve played. No matter what that role was, it must have a positive trait. I can say that I’m Liu Yuning. My personality is just how you see it, my experiences and perspective are limited, my talent is for streaming, my ability is for singing, and now I can act. But each role I’ve acted has positive traits that are unique and brought out by the characters themselves. I think something that’s fun and that can make me grow is if the positive traits of these characters that I’ve acted- that I’ve brought to life- can become a part of me. This is one of the reasons why I like being an actor. I used to be all over the place, but after acting as Luo Mingxi (ALZ) I’ve calmed down considerably. XD But BCF was the best role for me at the time because he gave me space to perform. I could act with as much energy as I wanted.  LYN: I was chatting with Liying, and she told me that she watched Heroes. I asked her how she think I did. Even though by asking her you could say I was fishing, but I thought I would ask, between friends. She told me that she could tell I was putting my effort into the act. Of course I would! I’d never be able to find such a role in 800 years, I had to make the most of it! There was a lot of room to perform the character of BCF, and so many ways you could interpret the character. But what’s aired is what is conveyed to the viewers and what I have to take responsibility for. LYN: It’s just because the difference was so vast. In the beginning he was just a young man with wild ambition, but then later he went crazy. Later he was perverse! The thing is, when you have to play a character who has two wildly different personalities at the same time- forget it, I won’t talk about this too deeply. Why? Because I don’t understand, either. But there was a lot of space to perform this character, so it was really satisfying. Really satisfying. You now how people say you need to learn how to reserve a little when you’re acting, but there is a time and place to go all out? With BCF you could go all out, all the time. It was okay no matter what I did. But if I were to have gone all out and then reserved myself again- that would be strange. It was a test of how much I could express. LYN: It was a really great role... even though it didn’t air very well. Of course, I was cursed at. I guess Hao Du was okay, because he was a likable character in the end. But Bai Choufei was a bad egg through and through. I saw people trying to stir up trouble, saying how I voiced my lines was too weak. There were some fans I couldn’t control back then, and they went out and spread the news that I was voice acting for my own lines. Next time, you don’t have to go and publicize this for me. There’s no need. Naturally, people acknowledged the fact that I DID do my own voice acting, but also said that I did it badly. They said I was lacking energy/sounded weak. I think that if you want to say that I executed my lines poorly, you shouldn’t give details because then I’ll fight back. You’re saying my voice is weak? I’m a singer. How could my voice be weak, you tell me? How could I? It’d be alright if you said my Mandarin was no good, but I can’t stand that you called my voice weak. That makes it sound like you’re a doctor and you’ve deduced my poor body condition. That’s why- please don’t go into details. Just say I didn’t execute my lines well and leave it at that.

LYN: You all know how I speak from watching me stream- I don’t use my head voice, I’m using my chest voice. So there’s no way I could sound “weak”. You can sound weak when you use your head voice but my natural voice comes from low. I’m a singer! Sometimes I even wonder if I’m too masculine. When I’m acting opposite someone I will be saying my lines and then suddenly think to myself whether or not I sound too old. I’ll ask the director about it, too. Because actually every role has a tone of voice that suits them- it depends on what you’re acting as. If you’re acting as a general or someone people rely on, your sound can’t waver too much. - /gives examples/ LYN: Do if you want to curse me, just do it outright (and not find petty excuses). LYN: When I talk to people, even, I wonder if I sound too old. Should I make myself sound younger? // But I’m pretty good at imitating sounds.

C: What sound do you use for Jiang Junhao? LYN: JJH is just my own voice. C: Luo Mingxi? LYN: For this character, you have to take his condition into consideration. When I’m done with the voice acting for this role I’m SURE people will say that my lines are weak. LMX himself is someone quite weak with lots of ailments. Think about it- if someone sick and frail were to say his lines like this: /rough & with power/- there’s no way. He has to speak a little airily, a little slowly.  C: Psychotically. LYN: He’s not psychotic, even though that’s what I heard at first. He’s just sick. They’re two different things. He just has a weak body, so he has to speak more gently. “Psychotic” has more to do with the state of mind. LMX is perfectly sound of mind- he’s a normal person, still. It’s just that he might be a little more hard-hearted and cruel, is all. He’s not abnormal. // He can’t be too weak, though. He still has to sound like a man. ~I can’t make him out to be a eunuch, otherwise people would laugh at him.~ Also I’m 1.9m tall, how do you expect me to look weak/gentle? C: Why don’t you go play a eunuch, then? LYN: /laughs/ I can! I would, if someone wanted me to. I think it’s an interesting role. I won’t decline nor am I unwilling to try out any role. I can try it out, I don’t mind. We’re actors. C: Where would you find a 1.9m tall eunuch? LYN: DOES THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HEIGHT?? What do you mean, huh? Are there no actors who have played a eunuch that are this tall?

LYN: Friends, let me tell you- I’ve been bullied while in this drama crew. The other male actors are too much. I never talk about someone behind their back, but today I’ll be the bad guy. One day FYL and I were shooting a scene together. As the scene went on, I started to sense that something was off.. because when we’re standing together, I had to look up at him. /re-enacting him looking (up) at FYL - pause - gives him a once-over - “have you gotten taller?”- looks him once-over again- “what’s the meaning of this?”/ I was dumbfounded! I turned my head and all of a sudden I had to look up at him! I don’t mean anything by it- I just mean that in my life thus far I have rarely ever had to look up at someone else. So that moment really surprised me. There are times when I can look another in the eyes, and that’s okay. But that day I had to look up at him. I said, “This is too abnormal, isn’t it?” He’s already 1.86-1.87, and he’s still over here trying to one-up me? What's he trying to do??? It went to my head. He can be more handsome than me, I don’t care. But my height is my only advantage in this industry, and he’s crushed me with a simple plastic insole?? Does LYN have any outstanding qualities in this industry? No, but maybe only his 1.89m height. My only advantage was beaten by two pieces of plastic. /sigh/ LYN: He didn’t do it on purpose, though. The props dept. gets those things ready, and he didn’t know there would be the added height. I said it was alright if they wanted to add in the height, but when he had to do scenes with me, I told him to take his shoes off. Every morning before we start it’ll be like going through airport security- he has to take his shoes off, for me to take a look before he can start. XD C: Ning-ge, you can add insoles too. LYN: Am I still human?? Sometimes when I’m just walking around set, some people will stop to ask me if I’m wearing insoles. I always tell them I wouldn’t be human if I did. What would I need them for?? Do I want to fly in the sky and meet with the sun??? So every time I do a scene with FYL I have to perform some security first. LYN: Of course, I am joking. Please only believe about 20% of what you hear in my streams. You can believe 20% of those plastic insoles, and the rest you can choose not to believe at all.

C: If you compare heights, do you also compare bodies? LYN: Not really. We don’t have the habit of getting together, taking our shirts off, and comparing muscles. There’s nothing to compare.

C: Are you still working out? LYN: I am. I only don’t do it when I am very tired. But these past couple of days I thought I couldn’t go another day without working out a bit. I didn’t feel comfortable if I didn’t. So even though we wrapped the other day at 5am, but I still came back and worked out for an hour. We finished up in a place called Xianju, and it took 1.5 hours to drive back. It was a night scene, so when the sun came up we wrapped for the night. By the time we got back it was already around 6a. C: Do your muscles not hurt? LYN: They do. It hurts right here, now. / LYN: I was working out more when I was in Chengdu. I finally realized why actors like doing modern dramas- because the filming environment is a lot more comfortable. When I first started off, other actors would tell me that modern dramas were relatively more laid back. And I wondered why, because I thought acting was all the same. But what they meant by “laid back” was probably the fact that the working environment is a lot more convenient. The hotel was very nice- because even though we’re in a hotel here in Hengdian.. it’s still Hengdian. But the hotel in Chengdu was nice because it had a gym, so every night when the drama wrapped I would go. What you saw in the Work-Out VLOG- that was the hotel’s gym. Sometimes when we wrapped at 2-3 in the morning, I would still go. Not that I am trying to make myself out to be a very hardworking person- I just knew that I had a lot of fight scenes for this current drama so I wanted to get into some shape to prepare for it. I didn’t think that I would still be ridiculed. :| But anyway, I was with the BYOL crew for around two months and I was pretty much working out every day. I recorded a lot of clips and started eating chicken- the guys out there who are working out would know- and protein power, and that’s what I had for the day. I was really training. I thought I could continue when I got started in this crew (YNGS), but I hadn’t even been here a few days before people were already critiquing me. Then I thought that working out wasn’t worth it. LOL. Two months of effort had no effect. I was still being ridiculed, so then I wanted to give up! They said my posture was bad, so I fixed it. I fixed it and they STILL said I’m no good- so really, what do they want from me? But even so, I’ve decided to stick with it, and I’ll count it as preparation for my next drama. / You need to understand where you’re lacking, in order to improve. So that’s what I’m doing.

LYN: I know a lot of you tell me not to mind what others are saying about me, and I don’t care what they say. But if what they say is exactly where I know I am lacking, then I will work on myself to change. If they say that I’m not suitable for acting and to quit, then I won’t listen to them. If they think that my posture needs work, then I’ll work on it- and I’ll be more aware of how I carry myself when the cameras are rolling. I think their critiques are constructive and allow me to do better at work. That’s a good thing. Honestly. Even if they meant to criticize with ill-intent, I take their words into consideration. But if my posture is good and they SAY it’s bad...it doesn’t matter because at that point I know that those words are in the same realm as saying I’m not suitable to be an actor (and I ignore it). LYN: From debut up until now, I really am grateful for all the haters, too. I’m not just saying that to make myself seem the bigger person. Do I hate and find them annoying? Of course I do. But I am also thankful for them, because in some roundabout way they are motivating me. I know to avoid things that would hurt my development, and they’re making me more aware of how I should conduct myself while working. At first they were saying that I was only just an internet famous individual and that I could never make it as a singer or an artist. It’s the same old sh*t. But at the time they really motivated me to prove them wrong. I wanted to become a singer and make them admit that I AM a singer. Even if they never admit it, I know myself- and that’s the most important thing. You can say I’m just an internet famous individual, but when I see all my albums, my performances, my osts, and my dramas- at this point I don’t care what you call me.  LYN: So as a singer who is just getting into acting, all these “critiques” are constructive criticism. Like saying I have bad posture, and saying that my lines are delivered weakly. When I know I’ve fixed my posture then at that point I won’t care what they say. So I still have to thank these voices for pointing out my weak points and motivating me to improve. LYN: No matter how weak my body is, my voice will never be weak.

- /saying some things in a weak voice/ LYN: People who just came in have no idea what I’m doing. XD - LYN: ~do you know what time it is?~ LYN: What time is it? - LYN: ~right now.. is the... start of my love for you~ LYN: A lot of people don’t know what I’m talking about- I was saying how there are a lot of things going around online about how a man is “supposed to sound”, and that is starting off low and ending with a breath. /gives some examples/ LYN: Any men watching tonight? Watch your Ning-ge give you an example of how to speak, and then you can try it out on your wife or girlfriend! C: Ning-ge, if my husband spoke to me like that I would hit/kick him. LYN: Don’t you think it sounds ~tender~? Am I not saying it ~right~?

LYN: ~Friends, I need to use the restroom. Can you stay here and wait for me? Is that alright? Friends, please don’t leave. I’ve had a bit too much water. I’m going to use the restroom. Please wait for me. I’ll play a VCR for you.~ -- bathroom break #2

LYN: Am I trending? Really? I don’t believe it. Tell me if it’s true or not, friends. C: Trending Topic #23 LYN: Ah. /tries to hide his smile/ I quite like it when I start trending- and by that I mean that if someone logs in right now they will see the topic and click into it and they can see me in real-time... C: The Entertainment Tab. LYN: Is that so? AH. What’s wrong with that? It still counts! How about this- go into the topic and leave a message. Just write... “LYN’s hat looks so good.” /laughs at his own shamelessness/ We have to make a topic of discussion. C: You’re officially a trending topic. LYN: Really? In that case, I need to show some talent! If people come in to see and nothing interesting in happening, how can I expect them to stay? How to get guests to stay is the most important thing. I think other than music, I don’t have anything else that can make them stay. LYN: Faraway visitors, please stay. Hello everybody, my name is Liu Xialai. I originally wanted to play you something with Kaka (kazoo) but I think opinion on that is divided. Why should I push my guests out the door instead? So I think I will not do that... C: Ning-ge, you’re a visual streamer. (referencing a different douyin video) LYN: I’m a visual streamer. I can’t sing. Get out. C: How about a song? LYN: Which song, though? I’ll sing one. Is there anything you want to hear? LYN: I’m sorry, I’m a dance-streamer. I can only dance and nothing else. XD C: Searching for You. LYN: I’ve been singing that too much lately, so I won’t today. How about this... - /Rang Jiu (Tomb of the Sea OST)/

LYN: Sorry- my vocal condition is that great today. LYN: Don’t request any more, I can’t sing. I tried it, but I don’t think I can continue. LYN: Let me get some water. LYN: I think I should stay nice and quiet as a visual streamer today. My vocal condition’s not to great.

C: Where’s Daimi? LYN: Let’s not let her show herself today. /goes to get her anyway/ LYN: She’s starting to get agitated now when I don’t give her some limelight. / She’s had a bath today, which is why I’m showing her to you. Usually she just looks like a “trash dog.” Like those stray dogs that pick trash off the street. But she’s been washed so I can let you all see her. 

LYN: Female celebrities need to watch how they look on camera, right? LYN: Why don’t you give everyone a wave? /waves her paw around/ LYN: She doesn’t seem very willing. Look at the camera! Here~ LYN: Alright, that’s enough. Go away, now. After you’ve used me, you can leave. Don’t break my headphones, though. LYN: Alright. It’s fun to play with her a little when I stream. LYN Studio only manages two artists- one is me, and one is my little dog. I’m her manager. Heartlessly telling her to go away. XD - LYN: Anyway, I’m just going to chat. I tried out a song but my condition isn’t the greatest. - C: You’re Daimi’s anti. LYN: See? If you’re an artist, no matter where you go, you will always have antis. It’s very normal. I don’t even mind anymore. I also see that some people like to use my picture as their profile pic and go to curse out other artists. Not curse at, but rather... shade other artists. With my photo as their profile pic. But you know- when you click into their profile, you find that they curse out even me. That’s true love, right there. I saw someone doing that and I wanted to go try to advise them not to. I wanted to talk some sense into them, and make them stop putting others down because it makes LYN fans as a whole look bad. But when I clicked into their profile I saw that most of the hate comments were about me, and just sometimes about a different artist. After I saw that, my heart was at ease.

LYN: Is FYL here? He’s here to set the record straight about what I said about him, is that it? XD C: Wei Shuyu? LYN: His name is Fang Yilun. All in all, we’ve known each other longer than most. We weren’t that close, because we had only shot that one drama together and didn’t keep in contact after it was over except having a meal together once or twice. But we’ve really gotten to know each other through this current drama. He’s a good kid. And I’ve never said anything bad about him during my streams, right? I always tell you what a good person he is. I never talk badly about someone behind their backs. What type of person would that make me, right? But he’s very nice and cool. Honestly, he’s very good looking. Other than being good looking, he is also very good in all other aspects. XD All good. Tall, handsome, and a good actor. LYN: FYL has his own fans, and the other day I saw them saying, “FYL is starting to act with LYN? When will he have a lead role of his own?” But the problem is FYL has already been male lead in other dramas before! Also, he’s much better looking than I am on screen. So I told him that if YNGS airs and there are articles stating that the 2ML is overpowering the 1ML, I will go to his house to beat him up. Even if I can’t beat him, I’ll still give it my all.  C: You’ll scare him away. LYN: No. We’re have a good relationship, and might even do a song together later. We’ll see. Because we’ve already negotiated with the production company that I will have two songs for YNGS. But there’s not much meaning in having two songs for myself, so I wanted to see if I could do one of them with FYL. C: Buy one get one free. LYN: How could I do one OST and then give another for free? There’s no way. Each song costs money. It’s not like I’m going to act for them and then sing the OST for free- they’re such a big company, it wouldn’t make a difference to them. I even told them before, that I would come as an actor-singer package deal, and they said there was no need and that each aspect (acting/singing) would receive its due payment. Since they’re such a kind company, it wouldn’t be right of me to keep refusing. C: Give the second song half-off. LYN: Do you think you’re selling milk teas?

C: /asks him abt a popular game?/ LYN: I’m not playing it. I don’t have the interest. I don’t why- I’m different from other people, and it might be because I’m “sick” at heart- but the more people are into something, the less I want to do with it. If I saw it in passing I might entertain the thought for a while, but if it’s the topic of every single discussion I don’t really want to entertain it anymore. I’ve seen it before, because my friends share it, so I have an idea of what it is. But I don’t really have the interest in playing it myself. I’m more of a rebel at heart. LYN: Why do you think so many people like LYN? It’s because not everyone finds LYN attractive. Ey! I’m not your traditional handsome guy. Am I handsome? No. I don’t have the beauty and big eyes that people can say is handsome with just one look. My appearance is... steadfast/down-to-earth. You can with one look that Xiao Ning has lived through some stuff in life. It’s a different style. I can’t reach the “handsome guy” level. When my fans compliment me and tell me I’m handsome, I feel guilty. Because it seems like the act of chasing stars has gone to (and broken) their heads. It’s like the ability to judge and the conception of what is “pretty” and “ugly” has malfunctioned. I can understand. LYN: But! But it’s a little like the saying “王八看绿豆” (lit. turtle looking at a mung bean; bc a turtle’s eyes are only the size of a mung bean, so if you place one in front of the turtle, that is all they can see.). It’s only an expression, though. I’m not trying to make any insinuations about who/what we are as people. I just mean that we’re suited for each other- so my fans like people like me; and no matter what I do, in their eyes I will still look cool. It’s weird but there’s no helping this- everyone’s tastes are different. This is very normal. Sometimes I will see nationally acclaimed paintings and I look at them and think to myself, “What is this?” But the truth is that the painting can sell for millions of dollars. It’s a mystery.

LYN: When I was little, I grew up with my grandparents. My grandmother really liked to use idioms. So when I grew up a lot of my way of thinking is a lot like my grandma’s.

C: Did you drop in on Zhao Liying? (Legend of Shen Li) LYN: I did go take a tour around her drama set, and I also know the director Deng Ke, too. So I went to greet him. I got introduced to Lin Gengxin while I was at it. We didn’t know each other and we’re not familiar. Of course I had to have known of him before, but we did not know each other privately. But I got to know him because one day I was in Changsha and I really wanted a haircut. I felt like my hair was too long and ugly, so I wanted to get it fixed. But I couldn’t find a shop in Changsha. I’m the type of person who only likes to go to someone familiar, because I don’t want to end up on a variety show or something with an ugly haircut- I want to find someone I trust. I was looking it up online and found a shop that was using his picture. I was amazed that this shop had the audacity to use an artists’ photo like that- isn’t that false advertising? They must be crazy. But my studio looked it up too, and they said the shop really did seem like it was owned by Li Gengxin.  LYN: Because you know how some shops (hairdressers and optometries) like to use artist photos to advertise, but you can tell with one look these shops are not represented by these artists at all? It’s like the stall by my house that’s plastered a huge poster of an artist on its walls. I thought they must have been crazy but after a quick search that salon really was opened by LGX. I figured if that was the case, it would be a reliable establishment, so I went. I went and... I’m a bit more publicly recognizable now, so they knew who I was. I didn’t SAY anything- I was just there to get my hair cut! But as they were trimming my hair, one of the attendants came by and said they gave their boss a call, and the boss said to give me a card. So that I would be able to go there to get my hair cut in the future and not have to pay. So generous?! Of course I refused, and wanted to pay them but they insisted that their boss would not let them accept any payment. At that time I didn’t even have LGX’s WeChat yet. I had no way of thanking him. But I got the free haircut and the card (with money on it!). He’s such a kind person! So when I got to Hengdian and got to finally greet him and thank him. That’s how I got to know him. C: Will you go there again? LYN: When I’m free to get a haircut. Because now I’m in Hengdian in the drama crew and I don’t really need to cut it. If I do, the crew’s stylist can cut it for me. At that time my hair was too long and I needed to do some other activities, so I went to get it cut. It was free and he gave me a membership card- what a nice guy, really.

- /scolds Daimi for wandering around/

C: What about BJT? LYN: I didn’t drop by his set. We’re pretty much shooting at the same time. Right now our relationship is that of upstairs and downstairs neighbors. If I get in the elevator and go down one floor I’d be at his house. We haven’t bumped into each other yet but I know we’re in the same building.  LYN: Hengdian is very small. Pretty much everyone is shooting their dramas here, right? I looked into who all was living in this building and after I found out I was shocked. It’s only one building- but there are really SO MANY artists living here? In this one building alone??? It’s scary. C: People you don’t see often. LYN: Yes, people I don’t see often, I meet all the time in the elevator. LYN: The other day we wrapped for the night and I heard someone call me from behind, “Ning-ge!” I turned back to look. (It was) Zeng Shunxi. On a different day we got into the underground car park and there was a car in front of mine. I was thinking about who might be plotting against me. It was Gong Jun. In any case, it’s the same group of people (all living in the same building in Hengdian). C: Have you met up with ZSX and YCY? LYN: YCY, no. I asked her, but she hasn’t been in Hengdian recently. ZSX is here though, so we meet up sometimes.

C: Your accent is so strong. LYN: Do I have to speak Standard when I stream now? Are you here to test me? My accent is a lot less strong now. Have you noticed that I’ve been using more Standard in my streams lately? LYN: I CAN speak Standard Mandarin, but I just like to use my dialect when I stream. My dialect is.. Cantonese. X’D Next up let me sing you a Cantonese song... Oh, right. I won’t sing, because my condition isn’t good today. Lets just chat.

C: Do you have a makeup collab? LYN: Yes, I do have one coming up but nothing’s been announced yet so I won’t say anything about it. It’s been years since my debut and you are asking me all the time when I will do a lipstick collab. I really don’t know how much lipstick your lips need! This has been following me for three years already, “Ning-ge, collab with a lipstick brand already! I don’t have lipstick to wear.” Alright, then. This time I’ve gotten a deal down. It’s a makeup set- lipstick, eyeshadow, blush... you know. It’s a set. LYN: I’m really trying to control how many spokesperson deals I get, and I’m not trying to brag that I have so many deals that I can reject most of them. I really am trying to control the amount. Because first of all, I don’t really want to spend most of my time on these types of things (brand events, livestreams, promotions, etc.) and shooting a drama is taking enough of my time. I really only collab with good brands that I acknowledge- I’d never work with a brand you’ve never heard of. It’s not that they didn’t try to come find me, either. There are so many contracts- but just having two or three a year is enough. LYN: I always deal with a brand that’s known, and with a product that you all will find useful. If I really wanted to make this my sole source of income, honestly I could be making a lot more than I am right now. If I sit here promoting products to you in three hours of my stream, how much money do you think I can make? I’d be streaming for nothing, right now. But I don’t think that’s how money should be made, and it’s not a great way to exhaust yourself. LYN: Any good brand that has an interest in me, I have pretty much all been in contact with. If there are other opportunities, we’ll discuss it later. It doesn’t really matter. But anyway, the makeup collab is coming. It’s almost finished. Some of y fans have been following me for three or four years now and you’ve always asked about when I would do a lipstick collab, so much so that I started to feel insecure. Because you would always mention it, but it didn’t seem like any makeup brand was willing to come use me. It’s so strange. It would have been fine if you hadn’t mentioned it so much, but since you did I started to find it weird. But it finally came to me this year. It’s not like it came in recently, either. We were in talks already at the beginning of the year. Brand discussions with artists always happen at the beginning of the year. I guess it’s because that’s when they know what their budget is. C: Will you do a testing? LYN: I don’t think I would do it in one of my own streams, but there will probably be a brand promotional stream that I would be able to show you. I’d apply it to my hand or something, because it’s not like I’m going to put it on my lips to show you. We’ll see.

C: I finally caught up to a real stream? LYN: Are you usually watching a fake one? Are you usually watching an AI? Do you usually see something like this?

C: You’re trending. LYN: I know. They already told me earlier. :) Thank you.

- /playing with filters/

C: Ning-ge, you’re so good looking in the Reuters. LYN: Don’t mention the Reuters to me. I don’t want to hear that word in my life again. XD Alright? Whenever I hear that word my heart lurches a little.  LYN: Honestly, though. In Hengdian and with all the paparazzi. I can understand why they do it- it’s their job. In my previous stream I tried to interview them, remember? I think there’s a mutual respect. Because this is their way of making a living. They have their job, and I have mine. It’s not that I don’t mind, but I am not strict with it and don’t go out of my way to stop them. I don’t try to obstruct them, or find someone from the crew to tell them to stop taking photos. I don’t want to get in the way of how they make a living, because they rely on doing this to get a meal on the table. But! I want to say to all my paparazzi friends out there: I’m ~alright~ aren’t I? If you think there’s some part of me that you find lacking, please just tell it to my face. I’ll change, ok? Also, my fans still buy your photos, don’t they? Even if it’s only enough for you to buy a pack of cigs or a beer, you’re still making some profit from them, right? If you take a picture wherein I look kinda ugly, can you just delete that picture?? I know that you’re up in the mountains there trying to take photos. I even feel bad for you. Sometimes I want to send you water. There are all sorts of bugs up in those mountains and you’re squatting in a bush on a hot day- honestly, my heart goes out to you. I want to send you water. I ask my assistant if I should send them up there to shade you with an umbrella. I’m a good person, aren’t I? So if you have an ugly photo of me, could you please erase it? Or if you have a photo where one person looks good and the other doesn’t, just cut me out of the frame if I look ugly and THEN you can post it. Is that alright? I’m begging, bros. We’re both in Hengdian together, let’s not make it any harder for each other than it is. I’ll send you up some water next time. LYN: Control yourselves, please. I’m on the rise but I’m very vulnerable. Can you protect a rookie actor like me? // I am very clear on it myself. This is my second male lead role- my first was with Tao-jie- and I know that when these dramas air I am going to face a wave of criticism. This is very normal, and I have steeled myself for it. But even so, you can’t continuously ridicule me from filming start to drama end date, can you? Everything has a time limit. Let’s give it three days before this topic all blows over. Next time you can pick on me for something else. You can’t criticize me for one thing for a whole month! Who does that?! Enough is enough. Change the topic, everyone. - /continues to negotiate with the paparazzi. not only will he send them water, he’ll add in crispy pancakes, with added sausage and chicken cutlets if they could delete or cut him out of particularly ugly photos of him./ C: I feel sorry for Ning-ge. LYN: There’s nothing to be sorry for. I understand why they do it- we’re all just trying to survive. It’s not easy for anyone. Just... I hope we can become mutually understanding. // I trust that after I’ve brought this up today, there won’t be any more ugly photos of me floating around. XD But it’s possible that they didn’t receive the message. It’s whatever... but just.. try. C: They’re too much. LYN: I understand them though, because this is how they make a living. There’s no need to pick a fight with them. It’s just sometimes that they’ll post something critical of me. This has happened before, with ALZ. One person looked good while the other didn’t. But back then it blew over in a few days. I don’t know what’s happening this time, but people can’t let it go. I think it’s about time, though. You can switch to something different, now. D:

LYN: My friends- you don’t need to reply to them or try to explain. Don’t do anything on my behalf. There’s really no need. Only four of my dramas have aired- the truth is not a lot of people know what I’ve been up to these past two years. If they’ve never even seen one of those four dramas, and have only heard me sing- or if they haven’t even heard my songs and only know there is a person called “Liu Yuning”- the only thing they know is that I’m acting in some drama right now. It’s not important. This drama- when it comes down to it- is only just a drama. I still have a lot more roles to act after this. So it’s not like I’m going to hold a big grudge over it.  LYN: Also! I’ve said so before- that even if in future dramas I go back to playing second lead or supporting characters, please don’t mind it. I’m an actor- so if I like a role, even if it’s fourth lead, I’ll take it. I got here today by trying out different supporting roles. As long as I think the roles suits me and it’s something that I like, I’ll try it out. I don’t think name or title of a position is important, for an actor. What matters is what you’re showing the viewers. What do you have to show for yourself NOW, and not what you already have to show for yourself.  C: You’re suitable to play a domineering CEO. LYN: If there’s an opportunity. Right now I’m still thinking of... I’ll tell you if there’s any news, but right now I’m still looking at the roles... but... I’ll tell you later. C: What type of role do you want to play? LYN: Honestly, anything is fine. Earlier someone told me to go play a eunuch! I think it’s alright. As long as the role is good enough, and he has an interesting enough story. Let’s say that usually every other eunuch enters the palace when they’re young- but this one entered the palace when he was thirty. You can think about it- hearing this about the character alone, makes you think that it would be a good watch. This complicated life story is enough to captivate the viewers. Especially about a eunuch that 1.9m tall. How terrifying is that- taller than the emperor, even! Hey- this story is fitting. He entered the palace when he was thirty- I’ve debuted at the age of thirty. A story of about turning the tables. LYN: I don’t want any role in particular. As long as it’s interesting enough- before I used to only look at the character- but now I would also look at the crew and who the director is, and what the hair/makeup will look like. There are many things to consider. Before, someone would look through these details for me. But now that I am more familiar with the industry, I can look into these details and make my own decisions.  - /likes dramas like Being a Hero and Be Reborn, even though he hasn’t watched many episodes, would really like to act in one of these types of dramas/ LYN: I haven’t had the chance to act in any drama like those ones, so if I had the chance I’d want to give it a try. A long time ago I already said I wanted to play someone undercover/a mole. A complicated role.

C: Do you have work tomorrow? LYN: I do. When drama filming is over I think I also need to go record an OST as well. I finished recording the OST for New Life Begins, also. That’s the one BJT recommended me for, so that counts as having fulfilled that rumor. You can hear it when that drama airs.

C: Ning-ge, stop streaming after you hit thirty million viewers. LYN: 3...2...1. Bye bye friends. Good night! LYN: I’m not that much in a rush. I’ll probably- actually it’s about time. I already said I would stream until 10p. When did I start? Around 7p, right? SO it’s been about three hours. That’s enough. I’m not thinking about the views, anyway. I just come to stream so I can relax and because my fans might miss me. There could be some passersby who may not LIKE LYN, but they can think of me as entertainment. If you’re watching my stream right now and think I’m alright to watch and you don’t find me annoying- if you do, then you don’t have to follow me- but if you think I’m entertaining, please subscribe to my weibo. Thank you.

C: When will you stream next? LYN: I’ll let you know. I’m not sure when the next time will be, right now.

C: Will there be a surprise on National Celebration Day?  LYN: No. I always look at my schedule and try to predict what I will need to do next. But after recording tomorrow, I have full days of drama shooting at least until the third. Only my scenes. After that I will be shooting the drama during the day and going to voice act for Zi Chuan at night. After voice acting for ZC is finished, I will follow-up with voice acting for ALZ. So that means I’ll be quite busy during the month of October because voice acting is a complicated process; made all the more complicated because I’ll be shooting the drama in the day and voice acting at night. It’s not like I can spend the whole day in the studio voicing 4 or 5 episodes per session. I’ll be going there only after a full day of filming- so when I’ll get to stream next, I’m really not sure. This is one of the reasons I’m afraid to go on variety shows- dramas have me busy enough as it is. Some things I have to give up.

C: When will you do another stage performance. LYN: They’ll come. I’m sure they’ll be one at the end of the year. Because your Ning-ge has to bring in the new year, right? I’m sure I’ll have the chance to go to a few different broadcast stations’ galas.

LYN: Alright, it’s about time. I’ll sign off and grab a bite to eat. I wish you all a relaxing and wonderful night. It was a pleasure to have you and I hope you had a good time. I’ll see you in the next stream. Good night everyone.