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9worldstales · 3 years

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MCU Loki Ep 4 “Nexus Event” intensive analysis

Okay, new episode which is, thankfully, kind of better than the previous. But let’s start with order.

So we’ll start with Asgard, only we aren’t told it’s Asgard nor in which year we are. I hope the fact we aren’t told the year is meaningful, because otherwise it’s just lazy.

We see a child Sylvie playing with toy dragon and toy Valkyrie when Renslayer, at the time a young hunter and other hunters get there to capture her. We don’t know what little Sylvie did wrong. As far as we know she had no magic so, unless she actually did have magic and her adult version didn’t know, it’s not like she was a male Loki who shapeshift into a female so this can be her Nexus event.

She’s just a child playing.

Whatever, Renslayer and the others didn’t care she’s a child, they decide she’s the Variant they were hunting, grabs her and take her away.

At the TVA Renslayer holds her for her arm in what should be an uncomfortable grip for poor Sylvie and doesn’t even look at her or tries to reassure her in any way.

I remember, when we saw all this being done to Loki, wondering if the series would dig into police brutality. Sylvie sees a man getting dragged in, she’s scare she asks for someone to help the man, no one cares. She goes through the same routine Loki went through at the TVA. Mercifully we don’t see her being left naked but we see her being forced to wear the TVA prison uniform for Variants.

For all the people who though what Loki went through was funny and the TVA was justified in doing it, now I want you to look well at what they’re doing at this poor child. It’s the same thing. Is it still funny? Do they still lokk like the good guys.

She’s scared and, as far as she know, she did nothing wrong and, despite her young age, no one is showing her any sympathy.

She’s guilty of the same crime Loki committed, ‘crimes against the Sacred Timeline’. She’s handled the same. If you justified or excused or agreed with what was done to Loki for ‘crimes against the Sacred Timeline’, you were agreeing to what is happening to her now.

Being stripped of her rights, handled like an object for a crime she had no intention or idea she had committed because it was made up by some unknown authority.

Once in front of the judge Sylvie manages to escape to Renslayer’s grip and steal her tempad.

Now, I can excuse the escaping and also the stealing. Maybe Renslayer is inexperienced and maybe she didn’t expect dangers from such a young child but how did she figured she has to steal the tempad and how to use it?

Up till now how Renslayer has used the Tempad for was to recognize her as the Variant they were searching for. She shouldn’t know it’s the Tempad which opens the Timedoors or how to work it. Sure, we can assume it’s really easy to use it but it still makes no sense she knows she has to use it to open the timedoors.

Whatever, Renslayer remains frozen on the spot when little Sylvie escapes and I can wonder if she felt a bit of sympathy for her… only the scene is kinda weird because she looked angry and ready to strike when the Sylvie stomped on her feet so this sudden sympathy when she’s about to escape is out of place. They just stare at each other, NO ONE making an attempt to grab Sylvie before Sylvie escape through the timedoor which, differently from how it had done with Loki in Episode 2, immediately close behind her.

The scene switches to Renslayer who has her eyes closed as if this was her memory.

She then opens them and enter through a golden door, supposedly going to see the Time-Keepers.

We get a glimpse to the Time-Keepers and then the title.

In the next scene the door opens and Renslayer marches out of it, Mobius confirming she went to see the Time-Keepers. He asks her how she feels and she says she’s not well because she had to meet the Time-Keepers in a bad situation and it’s stressing enough to meet them when everything goes well so this is really terrible.

Now… I don’t know. Later in the episode it’ll turn out the Time-Keepers are fake so… didn’t she know? Is she pretending to be stressed for Mobius’ benefit?

She says the Time-Keepers are blaming her for the situation and for how Sylvie and Loki escaped. She doesn’t mention Loki tried to stop Sylvie from meeting the Time-Keepers.

In short although Loki tried to stop Sylvie and used the Tempad to escape only when Renslayer tried to kill them both, through the whole episode they’ll handle him as if he tried to escape with her or worse help her to kill the Time-Keepers.

Renslayers remarks how

The Time-Keepers are all that stand between us and full-scale calamity.

…basically fuelling their own Time-Keepers cult.

Mobius though is more interested in talking with C-20 but Renslayer, with a tragic performance, tells him she’s dead because when she was enchanted this scrambled her mind and basically she began to decline till death. Tissues anyone?

Even Mobius feels a slight scent of b*llsh*t at this story since C-20 seemed fine when he brought her back to the TVA but since he trusts Renslayer he swallows it.

Poor C-20 clearly either got pruned or reset, somehow they didn’t decide to make the smart thing and re-brainwash her, but just preferred to kill her off.

Renslayer persuades Mobius to keep C-20’s death a secret so as not to create panic.

By the way, NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THE BOMBED TIMELINE AND NO ONE WILL TALK ABOUT IT LATER ON. It felt like the bombed timeline was merely something they did in Ep 2 to distract TVA and the viewers so that Sylvie could sneak in but nothing serious since it gets dropped so easily which is beyond disappointing. I mean, in Ep 2 it seemed to be such a huge problem and now… it’s nothing. All solved, all forgotten, just some extra work done in a short time.

Apparently, resetting the timeline in god knows how many points did nothing.

Really, that feel more like a dropped plot point or a plot hole than anything else.

For all that’s worth I find the acting between Mobius and Renslayer good. Every actor is working really hard in this series and I feel bad if it were to get lost into plot contrivances and plot holes.

Back to the story Renslayer pressures Mobius into tracking Sylvie and Loki.

The scene switches back to Lamentis. A lot more meteorites are falling but none of them close to Loki and Sylvie.

Sylvie is sit on a stone. Loki reaches her and apologizes. Because this episode wants him to be a narcissist but he again shows empathy to her.

Sylvie opens up to him, talking with him about her life.

Now is what Loki said about love being a dagger is something that’s not profound and pompous what about this that Sylvie says?

The universe wants to break free, so it manifests chaos. Like me being born the Goddess of Mischief.

It’s completely her speculation and gives her a sense of grandiosity. SHE’S IN A MISSION FOR THE UNIVERSE! THE UNIVERSE WANTS IT!

Don’t take me wrong, the TVA is keeping everyone prisoner but the universe didn’t create the Loki so as they could become its saviours.

We continue with Sylvie story. We’re supposed to swallow not only she figured the Tempad could open timedoor and how it worked but also how to recharge it and how to escape the TVA despite their many attempts to get her. Sylvie, who was already amazing for teaching herself how to enchant people, is set up to be even more amazing as she’s basically teaching herself everything and escaping from the TVA by centuries from when she was a young kid.

Who’s Tony Stark compared to her?

If this were to be a fanfic we would call her a Mary Sue or a Gary Stu.

She’s simply so awesome it doesn’t seem realistic for no reason at all especially compared to the other Loki Variant with her.

As Waldron is not a young girl writing for free I fear nobody will dare tell him he created a Mary Sue and people will only praise him for the oh so competent Sylvie.

And mind you, we need characters like Sylvie, who’re very competent.

Characters who’re sex fluid and bisexual and with a woman body and can still be strong and competent and above others… but the whole thing feels forced because she’s too good without a logic behind it, from figuring out it’s the Tempad that opens time door without never seeing it to do, to successfully escaping the TVA for so long.

When Loki managed to steal the Time Twister and use it, he has seen it being used previously more than once so it made sense he could use it and he had, to figure out how it worked, all the time Mobius spent discussing with B-15.

It made him smart to realize he could use it and he used it in a clever way but it wasn’t unbelievable because he had a grasp of how it worked, of what it could do.

Sylvie only saw it being used to identify her yet she guessed it was the thing that opened the Timedoors and how to make it work despite the Tempad having more than one function in basically a moment.

Then, although she apparently keeps on causing Nexus events everywhere she goes, she always manages to be one step ahead the TVA, escaping their grasp and, in all this, she also managed to recharge the Tempad using amazing power sources where Loki supposedly has no idea how it’s done. She fed herself, she learnt how to fight, she got herself a sword, she learn enchantment without having any basis whatsoever…

She’s the ‘superior Loki’ in a way, but why she should be superior to all the other Loki is absolutely random.

Anyway she says she grew up among ‘ends of the worlds’ and she will die in one of them, all while the scenery around them didn’t seem apocalyptic but romantic.

And mind you, the visual is really pretty but I feel the romance is misplaced, unnecessary.

And I’m still not sold in how they’re representing the moon.

Meanwhile Mobius is searching for them or better for a Nexus event that will lead him to them.

B-15, who hates variants, suggests they’re gone planning their next massacre… which isn’t true but if it were… can you blame them when you were the one who wanted to kill them in the first place and humiliated and belittled them? Should they have thanked you for your mistreatment?

She then asks about C-20 and Mobius says he has none so, worriedly, B-15 tries to urge him to… do something.

We go back to Loki and Sylvie and to the moon conveniently crumbling above them and yet not hitting them with them perfectly calm and enjoying the show.

Sylvie starts getting depressed.

Sylvie: Not long now. Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we're destined to lose?

So okay, she feels she has lost but this is kind of a big leap. I mean, if the fact Loki was destined to lose is what made him Loki… then Thanos is Loki and Obadiah Stane is Loki and Red Skull is Loki and Killmongrel is Loki and so on.

Loki counters with something… interesting.

Loki: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don’t die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You’re amazing!

Okay… so he knows he died in the sacred timeline. What’s his basis for saying they don’t die? The fact he survived to the wormhole? When he specifically wanted to die? Or that he survived through Thanos? Is the series ever going to touch that or we should pretend it never happened and Loki had a nice holiday with him?

Or a Time Charge hit the timeline in that point and erased that year Loki spent with Thanos?

Whatever, Loki is now busy admiring Sylvie for her efforts and being supportive… but it seems Marvel doesn’t want to count this as him being empathic and supportive with another being because she’s Loki… only episode 3 and the beginning of episode 4 went to great lengths to establish she’s not and hey, technically episode 3 is right in this.

I’ll point it out here and not later on because it’s probably important to discuss it immediately as it’ll come up later on a lot.

The identity of a person is made up by nature and nurture. Part of you is what you physically are, your genetic code that decide if you’re black or white, male or female or something else, human or a horse, tall or short, healthy or sick.

What you are will dictate part of what you will experience so it has a huge impact on you as it will decide part of your skills and part of your weaknesses.

Then, of course, there’s nurture.

Let’s pick twins. It’s worth to mention not all the identical twins share EXACTLY the same DNA because recent studies have proved mutation occurs in around the 15% of identical twins.

It’s also worth to mention that nurture begins really early. Even if we assume the two managed to keep the same genetic code, during development in the womb one twin might not receive the same amount of nutrients and this might affect his development.

And nurture will continue to affect them as they can even experience similar things (same parents, same house, same school) but there will be always differences that will end up affecting them.

Each twin is his own person, they’re not the same.

So now, Loki and Sylvie.

They’re clearly genetically not the same. What’s more we’ll see at the end there’s even a black Loki so basically this series doesn’t require the same genetic code for a Loki to be a Loki. So nature isn’t relevant here.

What about nurture?

We just learnt Sylvie’s story is completely different from Loki.

As a result her powers are different from his own. Her skillsets, her reactions, her temper is different from his own. She has different goals and different wants. As Sophia Di Martino said, she’s Sylvie, not Loki.

She’s as different from him as another person could be.

To me she even looked more like Thor than Loki.

So really, how’s self admiration when she’s actually not him? The only way for it to be self admiration would be if Loki isn’t admiring her for her own accomplishment, but just because he was told she’s him. But in this case he wouldn’t have been babbling for ours about who’s the lesser Loki.

If all Lokis are made equal in his eyes and worth his admiration because Loki then there’s no point to discuss who among them is better.

In short it’s a damn mess.

Anyway Sylvie touches Loki and he’s kind of surprised, in fact he looks at his arm.

In “Thor” the touch of a Frost Giant could turn Loki into his original look but we know Sylvie has touched Loki already when she tried to enchant him and that’s not the problem.

I wish the trick were she has enchanted him but later Mobius will say the problem is that they had started swooning on each other which opens a huge can of worms but we’ll discuss them later.

So now back to Mobius we go and to the timeline which begins to branch, signalling problems on Lamentis 1.

We return to Loki who raises his eyes from his arm and he and Sylvie look at each other for a moment before returning to pay attention to the show of meteorites falling closer. They turn again to look at each other, holding hands this time and smiling.

Back to Mobius we go and to how the branching timeline seems to go on a perpendicular line rather quickly. It impresses Mobius as it’s apparently an unheard event.

Back to Loki and Sylvie we go and to how two TimeDoor open in front of them.

We don’t know if they jumped through them to survive or if the TVA came out, grabbed them and dragged them through and it doesn’t matter.

In the next scene we see that both Sylvie and Loki are collared, held by guard as they struggle and escorted through the corridors of the TVA, Mobius leading them.

They’re then parted and when this happens they look at each other.

As they walk Mobius begins to talk with Loki. Evidently Mobius has no idea that Loki had been trying to stop Sylvie when they were at the TVA and works on the assumption they were accomplices. Maybe. It’s not really clear on which assumption Mobius is working.

Loki accuses him to have betrayed him and Mobius counters it’s Loki who betrayed him.

Actually they’re both wrong, Mobius more than Loki.

For a betrayal to happen, there needs to be a break of trust.

Now, in regard to Loki, trusting Mobius was a mistake. Mobius picked him up from the trial because he needed him for a use and was never honest with him.

Meeting the Time-Keepers? Mobius can’t met them himself, how could he help Loki meeting them?

But whatever, Loki apparently trusted him so I take he feels betrayed by how Mobius had him arrested when he actually didn’t betray Mobius. He tried stopping Sylvie, he tried capturing her, he ended on Lamentis 1 because Renslayer tried to kill them both, he didn’t cause the timeline to branch on purpose, for most of his permanence on Lamentis 1 he wanted to leave the planet and stick to his own plan to bring Sylvie back to the TVA.

So Mobius arresting him clearly feels an act of betrayal to Loki. He doesn’t know Renslayer didn’t report he tried to stop Sylvie and the fact Mobius didn’t trust him to do what he was supposed to but handled him like a criminal likely hurt.

But, as I said before, for all Mobius can say, he’s not his friend, he’s not someone who would trust and support him, Mobius cares about the TVA.

And Mobius feel betrayed because he thinks Loki plotted against the TVA with Sylvie.

This is wrong for two reasons, the first and most obvious being that Loki didn’t plot with her, the second being that, although Loki seemed to have missed it, he was working with Mobius under coercion. The TVA wanted to prune him, Mobius saved him but in exchange Loki had to make himself useful. This was made clear in episode 2 as well. Mobius said if using Loki didn’t work he would delete him himself and he made Loki sure this was his last chance (before being deleted) and that he had to work to make himself useful while Mobius went and have lunch.

You aren’t entitled to expect genuine loyalty from someone when you tell them ‘if you don’t give me what I want I’ll kill you’. I hope no one has forgotten this little talk from episode 2:

Mobius: This is the final step. Your last chance.

Loki: Oh, and what does my desperate last chance require?

Mobius: Work.

Loki: Work?

Mobius: I need you to go over each and every one of the Variant's case files, and then, give me your... How do I put it? Your unique Loki perspective. And who knows? Maybe there's something that we missed.

Loki: Well, you're idiots. I suspect you probably missed a lot.

Mobius: That's why I'm lucky I got ya for a little bit longer. Let me park ya at this desk. And don't be afraid to really lean into this work. Here's a good trick for you. Pretend your life depends on it. I'm gonna get a snack.

Mobius made really clear if Loki didn’t give him what he wants he’s a dead man.

For some weird reasons Loki decided to still be loyal to him (okay, so he wanted to get to the Time-Keepers and might suffer of Stockholm syndrome), but the most logical thing, as many had pointed out, was escape from the TVA first chance he were to get as Sylvie has been doing.

Now… to be honest there are situations in which you could ask this from another.

If Mobius had told Loki ‘Sorry, I know this is unfair and I want to help you but I can’t do more or I’ll get killed too. So I’ll protect you but I’ve to ask you to protect me as well by putting up with this.’

This though would have required Mobius to prioritize Loki’s survival and consider the fact he needed Loki to catch the Variant as an excuse to keep Loki alive.

That’s not the case, Mobius made clear although he has sympathy for Loki, he prioritizes catching the Variant. He didn’t suffer any repercussion when things went wrong.

He’s absolutely safe, his only risk comes from the Variant but this was the same even prior to Loki getting involved.

Mobius is using Loki and, in exchange for using him, he let him enjoy the benefit of being alive, albeit belittled by others around him. As I said talking about Episode 2, they don’t have an equal partnership.

I hate how Mobius says this:

Mobius: You know, it occurred to me that you're not really the God of Mischief.

Loki: Oh, here it comes. The folksy, dopey insult from the folksy dope. What am I? The God of Self-Sabotage, yeah? The God of Back-Stabbing?

Mobius: Just kind of an asshole and a bad friend.

The worst part is that Mobius seems to genuinely believe he’s a good friend to Loki, opposed to Loki who’s a bad friend. He didn’t even listen to his reasons or asked him what had happened. When Loki tries to tell him something ‘the TVA is lying to you’, he merely assumes Loki is lying. Mobius has no idea what a friend is. He’s angry in the way a pet owner is angry when his dog peed on the carpet, he doesn’t view Loki as equal, which is the basis for being friends.

His idea to deal with Loki now isn’t to listen to him, it’s to punish him by having him being beaten and belittled, as well as tossed hurtful words about Loki’s worst fear, being left alone. He doesn’t even dirty his hands with doing it himself, he just traps Loki in a timeloop in which Sif slaps him, kick him in the groins and punches him telling him he is a ‘conniving, craven, pathetic worm’ and that she ‘hope you know you deserve to be alone and you always will be’, all this because Loki cut her hair.

Now, this is based on something the Loki of the myth did, and that Marvel also had Loki do more than once in the comics, either with Sif or with other characters. In the original version and in the Marvel version Loki didn’t just cut some locks from Sif’s hair as he did here, but basically turned her bald.

It doesn’t matter, yes he was an *ssh*le and yes, I think Sif had all the rights to be angry and call him names and beat him.

BACK THEN.

Loki hurt her, she hurt him back, they are even. That’s the end.

Even Sif knows as she doesn’t remain there to beat him further until all his bones are broken.

Of course this is not going to work because beating someone and calling him names doesn’t magically turn that person into a better person, that’s why many countries abolished corporal punishment and considered it an useless torture.

But this doesn’t mean it’s okay for Mobius to take that moment and traps Loki into a time loop so he can get beaten and humiliated to Mobius’ heart content until he says he’s bad, bad, bad, which in real life is equally useless because we know if you start beating a person and won’t stop until he says what you want him to say, people in the long run will say everything to make the beating stop, they even confess crimes they didn’t commit.

That’s why, in many states, if you arrest someone you can’t beat him until he confess and any confession obtained by beating him is null and void.

And I particularly loathe the framing of all this for more than one reason but let’s start digging with the first ones.

“Thor” side material established that Sif is a better fighter than Loki but sadly the idea a girl can’t hit as hard as a man rules so Sif beating Loki doesn’t feel as bad as, let’s say, Cull Obsidian punching him over and over. Some see as fun that a male can be beaten by a girl and hit on the crotch, a rightful demeaning which excuses what’s being done because she’s just a girl and if Loki can’t defend himself it’s his fault… which is a rather disgusting mindsetting.

The fact Sif was, ‘supposedly’ Loki’s friend is clearly chosen to draw a comparison with Mobius… which doesn’t really work really well because we never truly saw Sif and Loki being friends.

In “Thor” she was fast in thinking he was plotting the downfall of Asgard. If the idea is their relation turned sour because Loki cut her hair… well, this is up to speculation because we never saw it being friendly.

And anyway, even Sif knew when to stop while Mobius evidently doesn’t as he continues to let him be beaten, again without even doing the job himself, framing it as if it was all Loki’s fault.

If he had to beat Loki into submission I would have honestly preferred him to just take a whip and beat him, this framing in which he ‘remains innocent’ while his dog gets punished for peeing on the carpet honestly disgust him. But okay, if the series were to use it to make a point about ‘police brutality’ I would have been fine with it. Mobius wants a confession, wants to force Loki to comply and beat him. The viewers will be shown how wrong is this and the message will be that you shouldn’t do it.

It would be great if Mobius were playing the part of the Bernardo Gui of the TVA.

Bernardo Gui: Brother Salvatore... these torments will cause me as much pain as you. You can end it before we even begin. Open the gates of your heart, search the depths of your soul. [Name of the Rose]

Too bad that’s not the case.

The scene switches to Renslayer’s office.

This is how Mobius defines what he’s doing to Loki:

Mobius: He's softening in the Time Cell, but while he marinates, I thought maybe I'd interview the other Variant.

Please, don’t tell me you never heard this sort of excuses in movies that included police brutality. Or outright torture to make you confess you were an heretic or guilty of a murder.

He’s not being beaten into compliance, he’s softening. We’re making him better, we’re making him willing. We’re absolutely not making anything bad in having him being beaten over and over. Because if you beat someone over and over you’ll always have a honest confession, won’t you?

Bernardo Gui: Since the verdict of the Inquisition has been disputed by Brother William... we are obliged to extract the prisoner's confession to murder. Take him to the forge and show him the instruments.

Remigio Da Varagine: I'll confess anything you want, but don't torture me. I can't go through a night like Salvatore!

Bernardo Gui: Very well. Why did you kill them?

Remigio Da Varagine: Why? I don't know why.

Bernardo Gui: Because you were inspired by the devil?

Remigio Da Varagine: Yes... that's it. I was inspired by the devil. [Name of the Rose]

But I’m running ahead.

Mobius would like to talk with the other Variant, aka Sylvie. Would he also torture her psychologically or physically or it would look bad on him to abuse of a woman? We don’t know as Renslayer, rather cheerfully, refuses to let him speak with her. Nobosy should speak with her.

Mobius tries in another way:

Mobius: I mean, if there's a mastermind here, I don't think it's Loki.

The problem I have with this sentence is that it’s not said because geez, it makes no sense Loki willingly escaped with a variant into an apocalypse with no means to leave it, all to create a branch that would allow the TVA to detect them and capture them.

It’s not even said because Loki is his friend and wouldn’t do it.

Or any other logical reason why Loki wouldn’t have done it.

The implication here seems to be just that Loki doesn’t seem smart enough to be the mastermind of all this fiasco, because this is a fiasco, mind you, as they were captured and if they weren’t they would be dead.

Renslayer’s reply isn’t what Mobius wants.

Renslayer: Good. Then he should be the easiest to break. Work your Loki and figure out what caused that spike. Time-Keepers are watching, Mobius.

She at least calls things with their name as she says Mobius is supposed to break Loki. To break him to get the truth. She has figured Mobius is having him beaten and she’s okay with breaking him. Because a regime beat people into compliance.

Then she put pressures on Mobius by telling him the Time-Keepers are watching which reminds me of how, in the past, people used to say to scare others ‘Remember: God is always watching you!’ and it wasn’t meant to be encouraging, as he’s watching you to protect you, no, he’s watching you because if you mess up he’s ready to punish you.

Welcome to the Time-Keepers cult everyone.

Mobius leaves.

We move to B-15 who’s asking to another hunter Sylvie has beaten if she’s Okay because Sylvie is the superior Loki and of course she has managed to beat one of the hunters guarding her.

Mobius joins B-15 and saying the hunter hurt comments:

Mobius: They don't go gently, do they?

WHY SHOULD THEY?

Are you going gently with Loki? You’re having him beaten over and over and my guess is you’re not doing the same with Sylvie because the show thinks it would look bad if they were shown beating a woman over and over.

Anyway B-15 is right when she calls Loki his ‘Variant pet’, as I said that’s how Mobius sees Loki, as a pet who peed on the carpet.

Mobius goes on:

Mobius: You know, we brought in Kree, Titans, vampires. Why is it the two orphan demigods are such a pain in the ass?

I hate this question honestly because it implies two orphan demigods should just go down quietly, that they aren’t as terrible as Kree, Titans, vampires. Why are they opposing to the TVA, why don’t let themselves just be erased. Or reprogrammed as you let the TVA do to you, Mobius.

You know, there’s people that’s not thrilled with the idea you can kill or submit them.

But Hunter B-15 despite looking down on the Variants, is worried so she asks if Loki said anything to him.

Mobius replies Loki told him the TVA is lying him. Oh, think the audacity! The TVA which is so honest. The agency he can believe it’s real because he believes it’s real.

Mobius: Odin, God of the Heavens. Asgard, mystical realm, beyond the stars. Frost Giants. Listen to yourself...

Loki: It's not the same. It's completely different. No. It's not the same.

Mobius: It's exactly the same thing. Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I'm just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this... My own glorious purpose.

Mobius: Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real.

Such a solid base. And Loki tells him they’re lying. No, really? His little personal cult, lying TO HIM?

Of course B-15 fears differently but she had an experience Mobius couldn’t share.

We go back to Loki who now is on the ground and is begging Sif to hit him no more. And a side of me facepalm.

Okay, as said before Sif was established to be stronger than him but he knows she’s coming. He could goddamn prepare and put up a fight instead than just stay there and get beaten which, I guess, is painful.

I’ll assume he can’t use his magic so I’ll forgive him for not using that but he could just take a flower vase, hit and crash it against Sif’s head when she enters.

Never mentioning that if he kept on getting punched and beaten, since HE doesn’t rewind, by now he should have a quite bruised check. Again, since Mobius wanted him beaten it would have made more sense if he just had whipped him but no, we needed to get this thing that supposedly tame the beating down so we don’t feel disgusted if we don’t think at it too hard.

Anyway Loki has enough and gives Sif what she wanted to hear.

Loki: Please, please, no more. Please, I beg you. I'm a horrible person. I get it. I really am. I cut off your hair because I thought it'd be funny. And it's not. Uh... I crave attention... because I'm... I'm a... I'm a narcissist. And I suppose it's... It's because I'm scared of being alone.

So let’s talk of all that’s wrong with this.

First of all Loki was coerced in saying this. It means goddamn nothing.

Second if this is meant to be the truth and someone doesn’t point out a little louder how the TVA is a fascist organization that deploy torture and anyway it’s bad to coerce people into saying the truth this way, it basically encourages to beat people to get them to be honest. Which is disgusting.

Third, it makes a HUGE deal of something that it’s relatively minor. I mean, Mobius wanted him to say he’s a horrible person? For cutting Sif’s hair?!? This is his worst crime, something Loki need to regret?

The TVA in Ep 1 was all about pinning on him the blame for the attack on New York but Sif’s hair, oh, cutting Sif’s hair is obviously worse. Only no, because it meant to happen in the Sacred Timeline so the TVA would have punished him hadn’t he done it.

So you can read this in two ways.

Either Mobius’ logic is dumb or the episode’s logic is dumb. If the story is trying to paint Mobius as an idiot and an hypocrite or he’s just trying to confuse Loki so that he’ll say everything and the opposite of everything and it doesn’t matter if it make sense or not fine, I’m cool, but if I’m supposed to run with this instead and think Mobius’ amazingly therapeutic way to get Loki to realize his faults and think at his behaviour and realize what he is, is to have Sif beat him into submission they’ll do better to think it twice.

Now… this part ‘I crave attention... because I'm... I'm a... I'm a narcissist. And I suppose it's... It's because I'm scared of being alone’ doesn’t make sense.

You don’t become a Narcissist because you’re scared of being alone. If you’re a Narcissist you crave attention and are scared to be alone but fears of loneliness doesn’t turn people into narcissists.

Now… is Loki a Narcissist? It’s kind of ridicule Loki would self diagnose it to himself, especially without any competence in psychology which on Asgard doesn’t seem to exist or they would know adopting a child and not telling him he’s adopted ends up badly in 99,9% of the cases. He’s probably using the term loosely but whatever, let’s run with it.

@lucianalight wrote an awesome essay (whose reading I recommend along with the others of the same series) explaining why he isn’t and Cinematherapy who can count on a real therapist, did a video explaining why he is. So who’s right?

Both and neither.

Let’s start with Cinematherapy as they employ a professional.

If you watch the video (recorded prior to the series) you realize they make a HUGE canon mistake right at the start. They assume Loki’s magical powers come from Loki being a Frost Giant.

That’s not bad will from their part, this is actually based on how they’ve watched the movies… and nothing else so they skipped all the additional side material and cut scenes. They didn’t watch the cut scene in “Thor: The Dark World” saying how Loki learnt magic from his mother nor read it in a side material publication or interview. They have no idea Loki’s sceptre was influencing him in “The Avengers” because that’s only written on Marvel’s web and not present in the movies and don’t seem to consider Loki in the year between “Thor” and “The Avengers” had to go through something terrible that could involve Thanos and torture or even death since that was only mentioned in interviews and in pretty vague terms. They consider “Thor: Ragnarok” part of the canon without considering how Taika Waititi deliberately, for his own admission, retconned it.

So their analysis uses the 5 movies and considers Loki in ‘perfect’ psychological state through the 5 of them. And it makes sense Cinematherapy analysis are meant to talk to casual viewers not to fans who knows everything about the movies.

@lucianalight instead considers all the side material included the cut scenes and the interview and discard “Thor: Ragnarok”. As a fan who well knows the story and the authors’ intentions she has access to a completely different set of information that Cinematherapy didn’t use in their analysis.

The result is that Cinematherapy and @lucianalight fundamentally looked at two different stories, albeit rooted on the same movies, and since they analyzed different material, they came up with contrasting analysis in which neither is wrong because they’re basically analyzing two different Variants of Loki.

But what’s the Variant we should look at to understand if the Loki of “Loki” is a Narcissist or not?

The real problem with diagnosing a character of fictional works is that said character is well… fictional. He can’t have a personality disorder, said disorder needs to be scripted into him by the writers… who often know very little of psychology, which is why I prefer to use trope to analyze characters than the effective mental disorders.

But with Loki we’ve a huge problem, because, in addition to the writers not being experienced about disorders, we’re talking about writerS, plural.

There’s more people writing Loki, and each of them can’t agree on how to interpret him.

So we have:

“Thor” in which Loki hardly presents traits of Narcissism.

“The Avengers” in which he presents them.

“Thor: The Dark World” in which he alternates presenting them, depending on the scene being written by Whedon or Don Payne (who also worked on “Thor”) and Robert Rodat.

“Thor: Ragnarok” in which he presents traits of Narcissism.

“Avengers: Infinity War” in which he doesn’t present them, if you read the interview, he’s just saying whatever comes to his mind to try to get a chance to kill Thanos and save his brother aware he can easily get killed… or in which he presents them if you don’t read the interviews and believes he’s persuaded he will come on the top.

If you mix the movies together and take them as they are without checking the additional material, the ones in which he presents traits of Narcissisms ends up colouring the view of the ones in which he doesn’t.

If you consider only “Thor” and “Thor: The Dark World” (the Don Payne and Robert Rodat part) which tried to keep the same continuity as the same scriptwriter was involved in both of them, he doesn’t.

I’ll be honest though, I think Marvel wants to slap that disorder on him.

They’ve discovered it’s oh so funny to have Loki feel so high and mighty and then be humbled down by having the Hulk smash him or Thor tossing him out of a spaceship or electrocuting him or Sif kicking him in his groins.

However I think Marvel is trying to milk their cow too much.

The scenes in which Loki is humbled work wonderfully in “The Avengers” because Loki genuinely felt high and mighty to the viewers to the point we didn’t expect him to be defeated, so seeing him being humbled down by the Hulk, by Hawkeye’s arrow, by Coulson shooting at him, were all powerful moves.

You didn’t expect them, Loki was a real threat in the movie and you’re as surprised as him when he gets defeated.

I mean when Hawkeye throws his arrow and Loki grabs it with no effort, it pushes you to think ‘oh, he’s too strong’ only for it to explode in his face.

You don’t get the same feeling in this series.

Loki is not strong nor particularly competent or bright. His words aren’t profound nor persuasive. His confidence seems baseless, his humbling down becomes expected, here, against Sif, he basically did NOTHING, except being beaten up. His verbal efforts to stop her were pathetic.

You aren’t surprised by Sif beating him, by Sif not being persuaded by his first weak attempts at stopping her verbally, his words aren’t convincing, his attempts at stopping her physically, inexistent.

It gets boring for the viewer as well as it ultimately gets ‘boring’ for Loki who, at a certain point says:

Loki: I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times. "You. You conniving, craven, pathetic worm. You did this." Right?

He’s no more affected, it had become routine and it is for us too.

It’s a fail a wasted scene.

Overall I think Waldron doesn’t think highly of Loki. He views him as a Narcissist who thinks highly about himself but in truth is nothing special. A comic relief, an agent of chaos. At the same time… I’m not sure he knows what a Narcissist is, or that he’s thinking at the Narcissistic personality disorder because this Loki shows empathy. In this episode he showed he is not envious of Sylvie and his arrogant behaviour is a cover to cover up his weakness.

So honestly… whatever, I don’t care. No, okay, I do.

I’m sad because I see a lot of people working hard in this series, from the actors to Kate Herron who really love Loki and wanted this job but for me the plot of a story and the characterization of the characters are important and only Sergio Leone can pull out a masterpiece with a man with no name and a poor script.

Mind you, this episode is better than the previous in terms of plot but… overall is weak. I really, really hope the series will improve in Ep 5 and 6 because episode 3 & 4 just weren’t that great.

I really want Loki to have a great series but wanting it and getting it aren’t necessarily the same things.

Anyway back to the plot.

Although after Loki’s confession Sif doesn’t beat him and help him to get up this is what she tells him.

Sif: You are alone and you always will be.

Basically yeah, Loki’s confession meant nothing because he can’t change anything. He can’t get attention or company, not even behaving better. This is Sif’s message in the end. He’s pathetic and this time she doesn’t beat him up because it feels like beating a pathetic person.

Now, I’m not saying she should have forgiven him. Not this Sif. But the overall situation is warped. Although she didn’t mean to, she technically beat him nonstop, he had way more than enough, and if Sif hadn’t been trapped into a timeloop she would have known.

This Sif was used as a toy to do a job Mobius didn’t want to do personally.

It’s overall a sick situation and, since this Sif didn’t know she had been abusing Loki for only God knows how long, although she helps him to stand she rightfully doesn’t feel they’re even.

And though Loki had gotten a break from being beaten, it’s clear his admission ultimately did nothing good to him psychologically. If he’s alone and will always be as such… why should he care he hurts others? Why shouldn’t he take a bit of fun where he can?

And all this is psychological manipulation of course because then Mobius appears like a balm.

LOKI: There's not many people that can sneak up on me. (turns to see NATASHA STANDING THERE)

NATASHA: But you figured I'd come.

LOKI: After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate.

Now… I have not the slightest idea of what Mobius is planning to do here. He doesn’t trust Loki, he doesn’t really want the truth, whatever that can be, he wants a truth of his liking and this is not negotiable.

Loki tells him that he’ll give him info only if he’ll let him out of the place and stop beating him and he decides this means Loki previously wasn’t telling the truth because he’s not being submissive enough.

Mobius makes clear he wants to hear about the plan between Loki and the Variant and that he wants Loki to give him the answers he wants, not the truth. Which is stupid because instead he needs the truth.

When Loki tells him the truth, that he wasn’t partner with Sylvie, he’s dismissive of his answer.

Mobius: Yeah, I guess you don't do partners. Unless, of course, it benefits you, and you intend to betray them at some point.

Loki insists on not having a partnership with Sylvie.

Loki: It was a means to an end, Mobius. Welcome to the real world. Down there, we're awful to get what we want.

Mobius: Now I gotta have a prince tell me how the real world works?

I hate this mentality that has started to develop into Marvel movies as if royalty lived a fairy tale life and could have no idea of the real world, especially the part in which ‘we're awful to get what we want’ because it’s dumb. Royalty has an history of being awful to get what they want that’s as long as the start of civilization. If Mobius doesn’t know, maybe he is the one who has no idea how the real world work, how many wars had been declared because a king wanted the land of his neighbour or something else. How they could accuse people of betrayal or of imaginary crimes to get rid of them.

Laufey is a king and moved war to Earth. Odin is a king and drowned civilizations in blood.

T’Chaka is a king and abandoned his nephew so as to cover an unwanted truth.

The Supreme Intelligence of the Kree Empire took advantage of Carol Danvers, altering her memories.

And that’s just the Marvel universe. So really Mobius, are you sure that all royalty is the equivalent of Disney princesses who sings are lovely and have talking pets?

And then Mobius does a really STUPID question.

Mobius: Why don't you just tell me what caused the nexus event on Lamentis?

So the series has gone to a great length to establish people doesn’t know they cause a nexus event. They can’t see the sacred timeline they move at random and SLAM, sometimes they end up doing something they didn’t know they weren’t planned to do and it results in a nexus event. BUT THEY DIDN’T KNOW IT BEFOREHAND! SO HOW IS LOKI SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?

But anyway they clearly weren’t supposed to be there so everything they do can create a disturbance if it’s not erased by the apocalypse. For example if they sent a missile to destroy the neighbour planet before Lamentis 1 was destroyed they clearly would affect the Sacred Timeline because the neighbouring planet wasn’t meant to get blasted away.

But still… they found them there, waiting for destruction with no means to escape and with no idea the TVA would have appeared because they broke the sacred timeline.

It’s kind of a giant warning sign they’ve no idea what they’ve done.

So Mobius demanding to know feels as if they had dumbed down Mobius as well.

Loki wants to play stubborn and he has good reasons since he fears for his life.

Loki: Let me say this again. I'm not going to tell you just so you can turn around immediately afterwards and prune me.

In reply Mobius decides Loki needs to be tortured by Sif some more.

So Loki does what Remigio Da Varagine did when Bernardo Gui promised to torture him, he tells Mobius what he believes Mobius wants to hear, that of course they were accomplices and of course they had a plan and he was in charge of it.

Only Mobius has decided that Sylvie is the better Loki so he doesn’t believe Loki is in control and, to test him, he tells him Sylvie was pruned.

This hits Loki as he has grown feelings for Sylvie. He tries to play it as he doesn’t care but Mobius guesses he’s affected.

On a sidenote the series painting Loki oh so transparent affects negatively Thor as well as Thor never seems to realize it when Loki is affected, which leads to the implication Thor is either dumb or doesn’t care or… he’s written by someone else who thinks Loki is better at masking his feelings.

Mind you, in the movies Loki has moments in which is feelings are on display for everyone to see but also moments in which they’re guarded. Here they simply are not. In the series his feelings are constantly on display as if he somehow has lost the ability to guard them even if he tries to.

Anyway Mobius decides that Loki caring for the variant means he got a crush on her. I wish I could say he’s wrong but this is what Waldron has to say on the topic:

“That was one of the cruxes of my pitch [for the series], that there was going to be a love story. We went back and forth for a little bit about, like do we really want to have this guy fall in love with another version of himself? Is that too crazy? But in a series that, to me, is ultimately about self-love, self-reflection, and forgiving yourself, it just felt right that that would be Loki's first real love story. The look that they share, that moment, [it started as] a blossoming friendship. Then for the first time, they both feel that twinge of, ‘Oh, could this be something more? What is this I'm feeling?’ These are two beings of pure chaos that are the same person falling in love with one another. That's a straight-up and down branch, and exactly the sort of thing that would terrify the TVA.” [Loki Writer Explains Episode 4's Sylvie Love Story Reveal]

Why there needs to be a love story? A romantic love story? Self-love is different from self-cest. Learning to appreciate yourself doesn’t mean you suddenly wants to date yourself.

Besides, if the whole point was having Loki fall for himself, then let Sylvie be him!

Sylvie is so different from him she could very well be a different person... and it’s actually worth to ponder a bit on this.

As I said before Sylvie is genetically different from Loki. By logic this would mean more than Loki, she’s Loki’s fraternal twin from a parallel dimension. Only, if the TVA prunes whatever diverges by the sacred timeline this means she should have been pruned at birth because the sacred timeline has a male Loki. But no, she gets the time to grow up till… the Asgardian equivalent of 10 years old?

And only because back then she has somehow made something that didn’t fit with the timeline?

What was that, she was told she was adopted and, since her parents this time did things properly she felt loved instead than the monster parents tell their children at night and was about to grow up as a psychologically healthy girl?

Anyway, back to the problem, we’ll see at the end that, among the other Loki there’s also another Loki who clearly doesn’t have the same genetic code of Loki. No, I’m not talking of the Loki played by Deobia Oparei, Loki’s skin colour was supposed to be blue, it’s of course worth questioning why Odin went for black instead than white this time (does he come with an Asgard where everyone is a person of colour?) but it can be just the result of Odin’s magic. What I’m talking about is the Loki alligator.

Because normally who give birth to alligators aren’t frost giants but alligators… that or Asgard was populated by alligators. Or, that Loki was magically turned into an alligator but somehow I doubt it.

So anyway, if Loki might not share the same genetic code with his variants and not being pruned at birth… this works for Laufey too. This works for everyone.

Basically all the Variants could be completely different people who happen to share the same name.

In a way we know about the TVA work as much as we knew before episode 1. Sometimes they accuse someone deciding he broke the timeline… but sometime they don’t care if such break is done. Why? Because the Time-Keepers say so.

Great, whatever, I really don’t see the need of Loki falling in love for a version of himself who couldn’t be more different from himself than Sylvie is. At this point he could have fallen in love for anyone, even B-15.

Couldn’t they put in the show Verity Willis instead than Mobius and Sylvie?

The genuine friendship and appreciation they have in the comic which is also part of what saved Loki in the end was much better than the ‘friendship’ he has with Mobius or the abrupt crush for Sylvie.

And mind you, I like Sylvie as a character. I just don’t like what the series is doing with her.

Mobius too is well done as a character… but he’s the farthest thing from a friend for Loki.

Back to the story Mobius is having the time of his life because Loki is in pain for Sylvie’s supposed death since he has fallen for her.

Because friends obviously love it when you’re in pain when you believe your crush is dead.

Then he goes and say:

Mobius: No wonder you have no clue what caused the nexus event on Lamentis. Both of you are swooning over each other.

Wait so he knew Loki has no clue about what caused the Nexus event? And despite this he tortured Loki? And now he claims Loki has no clue because he and Sylvie were swooning over each other? Because that’s always what happened when a Nexus event happens, isn’t it? People swoon on someone else and don’t realize they’re causing a Nexus event. Loki was probably swooning on the Tesseract and Sylvie on her Valkyrie doll, right? The logic here is big.

Mobius: It's the apocalypse. Two Variants of the same being, especially you, forming this kind of sick, twisted romantic relationship. That's pure chaos. That could break reality. It's breaking my reality right now. What a incredible seismic narcissist. You fell for yourself.

Yeah, the sacred timeline is something that can bear people being turned into slaves, Jewish people being gassed into concentration camps, children being abused, terrorism, the destruction of Pompeii, New York being attacked by the Chitauri, Lamentis 1 getting destroyed, Bucky being turned into a slave of Hydra, Asgard being destroyed, Peter losing his parents, Thanos purging half of the universe, Tony Stark having to die when they could have just wiped away the Thanos that went into the future but God forbid two Loki were to commit selfcest. What are lives lost compared to selfcest?

Much, much better to wipe away half of all the living things than that.

Because…

“These are two beings of pure chaos that are the same person falling in love with one another. That's a straight-up and down branch, and exactly the sort of thing that would terrify the TVA.” [Loki Writer Explains Episode 4's Sylvie Love Story Reveal]

Ah, okay, great, it’s just because they’re two beings of pure chaos. If it had been Captain America falling for a Variant of himself the timeline would have clapped at him. No really, I still hope you take back this somehow and say it was all to mislead us because for me it’s not a problem of selfcest. It’s a HUGE problem of something called LOGIC. What’s this “Alice in the wonderland”? Mobius continues being a good, supportive friend by mocking Loki when she tells him the Variant’s name was Sylvie. Really Loki, with friends like this you were better with Thanos calling himself your dad. Finally anyway Loki manages to have Mobius tell him Sylvie is still alive, which gives him some relief, then Mobius goes on.

Mobius: And was infiltrating the TVA, was that always sort of the grand plan?

Wait, is he implying that when Loki produced his first Nexus event he did it so he could infiltrate in the TVA? Because of course he would know that they wouldn’t prune him but Mobius would come to his rescue? What had Mobius been drinking? Then when Loki tells Mobius maybe the Time-Keepers need to be overthrown Mobius goes:

Mobius: I ought to box your ears.

Because of course, violence is the solution and Loki should only be grateful to the Time-Keepers who kidnapped him and want to terminate him, shouldn’t he? Mobius is simply terrible here… which I don’t like because in a while I’ll be supposed to feel sad for him.

Loki now tries to tell Mobius the truth… only Mobius doesn’t want to listen, he claims Loki already told him 50 lies in the past 10 minutes without even considering he called for them as he tortured Loki to get what he wanted to hear, not the truth and anyway, if Loki isn’t trustworthy why they’re having that discussion?

Plus he belittles everything Loki says by basically downplaying Sylvie. She’s his girlfriend, his female self. She’s not her own. And of course in addition to downplaying Sylvie he has to insult Loki’s feelings because that’s what friends are for.

Mobius: Whatever you want to call her. What, your female self that you have some demented crush on...

Honestly, if Mobius had had a crush on Loki I would have waved this as him being jealous and bitter Loki found someone else but he does not. He took possession of Loki, looked down on him as some sort of pet, tried to manipulate him into obedience and babbled of a friendship that clearly didn’t exist and that had no reason to exist even if he hadn’t acted as a jerk because they barely know each other.

Friendship is something earned over time, not something others own you because you save them from death provided they’ll work for you.

What in the world is the TVA idea of friendship?

Anyway Loki informs him they’re all Variants and all the truth connected to it.

For a moment it seems to work, Mobius seems to be affected.

But this isn’t a truth Mobius wanted to hear because it ruins the basis of the TVA and the TVA is…

Mobius: Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real.

So Mobius goes and call all of that a lie and since he hadn’t been a jerk enough he felt the need to play Odin’s role and remind Loki of his path in the sacred timeline.

Mobius: You two, what a pair! Gosh! Unbelievable. Wherever you go, it's just death, destruction, the literal ends of worlds.

What a friend, huh? Honestly I think he went for that line deliberately, because he has seen Loki’s life in the sacred timeline and saw Odin tossing a similar line to him and knows it hurt him.

Odin: Do you not truly feel the gravity of your crimes? Wherever you go there is war, ruin and death.

It’s also probably worth to mention this Loki hadn’t caused any of the ends of the worlds he’s been in.

Then he does what everyone expected, he decided he didn’t need Loki anymore and could get rid of him.

Mobius: Well, I'm gonna have to close this case now, 'cause I don't need you anymore. Yeah, or as you might say, our interests are no longer aligned.

Honestly I don’t like the idea of Loki falling for Sylvie but with people like Mobius around him… why am I complaining? Sylvie, who also attacked and belittled him, was much better as she didn’t go and called herself his friend at least. She was more honest than Mobius so congratulation Mobius, you beat the Goddess of Mischief.

On a sidenote the lines red and grey on the wall give me the feeling they’re in a circus tent. So yeah

Loki: The Time-Keepers have built quite the circus, and I see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection.

Anyway Loki is dragged away to be tortured by Sif again. Because Mobius hadn’t had him beaten up into submission enough before killing him. This is just sadistic.

This time Loki though is so angry he’s calm.

Loki: You know, of all the liars in this place, and there are a great many, you're the biggest.

Mobius: Why? 'Cause I lied about your girlfriend?

Loki: Oh, no. That I can respect. I mean, the lies you tell yourself.

Honestly I hate how Mobius continues to call Sylvie ‘his girlfriend’, not because I don’t like the idea of them paired together but because I get it’s Mobius’ way to belittle them both. She’s not her own person, not Sylvie, she’s Loki’s female self that he has some demented crush on. That’s all he makes her to be.

I don’t know what happened to Mobius in this episode. He seemed to have moral standards in Ep 1 & 2. He didn’t seem to enjoy hurting others for no reason. Now he does.

Well, at least Loki gets to call him on the lies he tells himself.

So, a break here. Great acting from both, good direction from Kate Herron, dumb plot.

The idea is that Mobius is questioning Loki to know what caused the Nexus event, right? But instead than his intelligence he uses physical torture. Now it would be fine if he needed to get a confession and didn’t care about the truth but he cares about the truth, he needs it to prevent future nexus events. Only no, he doesn’t care. Whatever.

Then he tries to see if Loki has feelings about Sylvie, which he does and jumps to the idea that Loki must love her because since they’re a male and a female there’s no other way to care for each other if not romantic love. He can’t view her as a sister or have pity of her, no it has to be romantic love and Waldron backs him up so it is and so this has to be what broke the timeline because… the timeline can tolerate any sort of crime but not selfcest committed by chaotic beings?

It must be this because if Mobius find something demented the timeline would as well, we’ve proofs… no we don’t have it is just speculation but Mobius read Waldron’s interview so he knows it’s true.

So Mobius has his answer, the timeline is against selfcest. Case closed. Logic thrown out of the window notwithstanding.

But then Loki really tells him the truth but Mobius doesn’t like it so let’s torture Loki some more. Because Mobius is so intelligent he can tell when Loki is lying, the series has already established it, so this has to be Loki lying right? And Mobius let him be tortured despite claiming he’s Loki’s friend and having tons of doubts about what C-20 saw and how Rendlayer is acting oddly because that’s what friends do. It has Thanos’ seal of approbation after all.

Whatever, let’s go on.

So we move to Hunter B-15 doing calming breaths as she’s clearly very upset. It’s worth to remember she was depicted as hating Variants the most. Her gaze falls on a poster recommending to capture all the variants and make sure to delete them all.

The fun part is that the guy on that poster remind me of the Mobius of the comics… but maybe it’s just me.

After this B-15 turns on her weapon and orders the ones guarding the entrance of the theatre in which they had put Sylvie to let her in. They don’t even discuss or hesitate, they just let her in.

Sylvie acts in the confident manner Loki used to act in “The Avengers” when he was prisoner of the Avengers.

Sylvie: Hello... Oh, I don't know. Your name's a number. Can't read it from here.

As she says so she moves closer. B-15 though put away her weapon, opens a timedoor and tells her to come with her.

Why they go away through a timedoor? Couldn’t they talk there? Isn’t it more risky as not only Sylvie could use this to escape but they might risk altering the oh so sacred timeline? Are there hearing devices in the theatre? Does the guards outside eavesdrop?

Whatever, we’re back to Renslayer’s office.

Mobius is thoughtful, Renslayer is happy because the case is closed. So Mobius really presented as excuse for the branch the fact that Loki and Sylvie supposedly fell in love? Because if Loki cares for someone is romantic love? He cried for Frigga too, for Asgard? Why it has to be romantic love for Mobius? Because Sylvie is a woman and Loki is a man and God forbid a man could care for a female in any other way that’s not romantic? Because the script said so? Couldn’t he care for her like a twin sister? She even acts like Thor here and there but she’s smarter than him. Would the timeline branch anyway?

Whatever, I guess I’m not meant to make questions but if the case is closed why he had to stuck Loki again in that timeloop to be beaten and humiliated? It’s not like Renslayer is checking him and even if she were or the Time-Keepers were which would have been the harm in letting him sit there like Sylvie is?

For which reason Mobius is trying so hard to break him? Revenge? He didn’t seem such a jerk in Ep 1 & 2 and now… why has he changed?

Anyway Mobius is beyond obvious acting weird despite Renslayer being all happy for the case closed and asking him

Renslayer: If you could go anywhere, anytime, where would it be?

She clearly mean for personal pleasure, maybe she plans on letting him have a holiday anywere he’d like but Mobius doesn’t seem to get it.

Mobius: I can go anywhere, anytime.

His reply hints he reduces everything to work, to going anywhere, anytime for work and while Renslayer tries to get him to open up he asks again why she didn’t let him interrogate ‘Sylvie’, which is a mistake as when in Renslayer’s office he usually calls the Variants just Variants, not by name, unless it’s necessary. Besides Renslayer doesn’t know the Variant’s chosen alias so she’s twice as confused.

Mobius has to explain ‘Sylvie’ is how Loki calls the Variant and Renslayer tells him it wasn’t so as to make sure it wouldn’t escape, and when Mobius says she wouldn’t have escaped (because Mobius is so good at keeping the Loki Variants close) she reminds him the other Variant did escape while in his care (yeah, twice, Mobius you aren’t as good as you like to present yourself).

Renslayer tries again to get him to answer her on where he’s like to go and he replies

Mobius: I like being here now, with you, doing the work.

Which is solely because he’s deadly scared of admitting he’d like to be some other place. He doesn’t like his life there, he loves jet ski and would like to ride one but he’s just scared to do so and finds comfort in the monotony of his own life. Which is beyond depressing and is part of the lies he tells himself.

Renslayer gives up and informs him she’d heard the Time-Keepers and they will personally oversee the Variant's pruning and they want Mobius to be there as well. I take that with ‘the Variant’ they mean Sylvie but later we’ll see Loki too is carried in front of them.

Why they want Mobius too though? To make sure he’ll stay put? To prune him as well because he’s being as suspicious as possible?

Mobius seems pleased he’ll finally met the Time-Keeper then oh so discreetly goes back on questioning Renslayer. On C-20 this time. Which obviously makes Renslayer even more suspicious.

She tries to deflect his question by pointing out how everything went well, the Time-Keepers are happy and yadda, yadda and Mobius insists again on wanting to know about C-20… because this was totally smooth and not suspicious at all.

And this is bad because this guy is the one who’s supposed to be at Loki’s same level if not above. If he’s so incompetent it reflects poorly on Loki too.

Yeah, he was very upset by C-20’s death so maybe this is messing him up but still he couldn’t be more obvious, insisting over and over when Renslayer clearly doesn’t want to tell him more. What does he expect, her to admit she lied? She’s not a Variant he can torture, or keep there until he gets the answers he wants, she’s basically his boss.

Anyway Renslayer, probably due to her fondness for him, confirms her previous version and tells him if he’s not allowed to meet the Variant that’s because she’s protecting him from facing the horrible fate C-20 went through.

I think this requires a bit of appropriate singing from another movie:

Shhh.. Trust me Mobius, Ravonna, knows best. Ravonna knows best. Listen to your Ravonna. She's a scary Variant that Sylvie. Ravonna knows best. One way or another. Something will go wrong, I swear. Stabbing, kicking, poison, punching. Stealing, and humiliating, the lies. Also large sword, a woman with pointy teeth. And stop, no more, you'll just upset me. Ravonna's right here. Ravonna will protect you. Darling here's what I suggest. Skip the drama, stay with Ravonna. RAVONNA!! Knows best! Ravonna knows best. Take it from your Ravonna. On your own, you won't survive. Sloppy underdressed, immature, clumsy, Please, they'll eat you up, alive. Gullible, nave, positively grubby. Ditzy and a bit, well, hmm vague. Plus I believe, getting kinda chubby. I'm just saying, 'Cause I wuv you. Ravonna understands, Ravonnas here to help you. All I have is one request. (singing ends) Mobius? Don't ever ask to see the Variant, again.

Evidently Mother Gothel… pardon Renslayer’s performance doesn’t fully win Mobius over.

Mobius: Yeah, if it's the truth.

Intelligence? Or, like with Loki he has already decided with answer he needs to get?

Renslayer now tries to distract him blaming everything on the time Mobius spent with the Lokis, implying that because they lie he came up to think she would lie too and then she gives him an inspirational speech about how their work matter and how they’re special friends.

Renslayer: When we're out there fighting for the fate of the Sacred Timeline we're also fighting for this. For us. Friends against time, allies to the end. You've seen all of existence, same as me. So, you know, friendship like ours is uncommon. And worth fighting for. Same as the Sacred Timeline.

So Mobius has friends.

Or at least he has Renslayer.

Does he plan to close her too in a timeloop for lying to him? Or, since she was used to always humour him (this is apparently the first time she told him ‘no’) he expected Loki too had to play on his tune, especially considering Loki isn’t his boss, and got upset when Loki showed a mind of his own?

Or is Renslayer who taught him who disappoint gets closed in a timeloop where he’s punched and insulted by doing this to Mobius?

I’d like to know.

Whatever, this speech persuaded Mobius so much he distract Renslayer suggesting to find a place for her new trophy only to swap the Tempads behind her back… and then oh so discreetly try to run away because this wouldn’t be suspicious at all.

Smooth, Mobius, smooth.

Okay, so B-15 took Sylvie to the Roxxcart apocalypse since now she knows the TVA can’t detect changes if they happen in an apocalypse.

Sylvie thinks she wants a fight but B-15 is instead tormented by what Sylvie had shown her when she possessed her.

Now, everyone, let’s refresh our memory on how enchantment works.

Sylvie: It depends on the mind. Most are easy and I can overtake them instantly. Others, the stronger ones, it gets tricky. I'm in control, but they're there, too. In order to preserve the connection, I have to create a fantasy from their memories.

B-15 was overtaken very easily with Sylvie fully in control of her as she moved her like a puppet and had her say what she wanted. So why in the world she needed to show her a memory? We saw how things worked with C-20, she used the memory to answer in kind to her questions believing she was with a friend. What she did to B-15 to make her move and say what she wanted, did she had a memory in which she was an actress and Sylvie read her the script?

I’ve no words, they gave the rule 1 episode ago, don’t they remember them anymore?

So anyway Sylvie tells B-15 the truth and B-15, the one who believes talking to Variant is a mistake and they should all be pruned as they’re cosmic mistakes immediately swallows what the Variant who’d been killing TVA agents non-stop tells her and volunteers to let herself be possessed again.

Because this wouldn’t be dangerous at all, I mean, surely Sylvie who has a grudge against the TVA and has been killing TVA agents won’t lie to her and wouldn’t just possess her to steal her tempad and escape leaving her to die in the apocalypse.

Yeah, surely because Sylvie, instead than possessing her, does as she request and shows her those memories and B-15 can be sure they’re true and not a trick because… she too read the script and know they’re true.

So B-15, who had been pruning, abusing and belittling other Variants like her, once knowing she’s a Variant says:

Hunter B-15: I looked happy.

With tears in her voice. Okay, so she also sides with Sylvie but… don’t take me wrong, different people react differently but let’s look for a moment B-15’s reaction at discovering she’s a Variant, a cosmic mistake.

B-15 was the one who hated Variants the most… but knowing she was one all she cares was she looked happy. What’s her problem she was miserable at the TVA? I didn’t notice. She just accepted she’s a Variant so easily… everyone else, even people who didn’t hate Variants will have more problems with it. C-20 was in shock, Mobius goes in denial, Loki basically went mad with grief when he discovered he was a Frost Giant.

B-15 mourns that she was happy and then asks for instructions to Sylvie.

I wonder if she’s the sort of person who can’t think on her own. She did what the TVA propaganda said because she never stopped to think about it, she got an easy to posses mind, and now she’s willing to do what Sylvie says because she can’t think at it on her own.

To be honest… although I feel what the TVA did to the people working there was pretty disgusting, I find hard on an intellectual level to empathize with someone who had been enjoying pruning and abusing Variants and now that she has discovered she’s one she doesn’t regret what she did to the others like her but mourn her old happiness.

Anyway I compliment Wunmi Mosaku for this scene. I’m not persuaded by how they decided she would just swallow she’s a Variant so easily, but still she played well the part.

Empathically, to see another being so grief stricken, causes me to react emotionally, even though logically I feel I shouldn’t care because they didn’t give me reasons to feel sorry for someone who was so happy to be an abuser and doesn’t regret having been one, she still managed to make me feel sorry for her character because her sadness was emotionally involving.

Really, good job, and good job to Kate Herron who played that scene well.

We switch to Mobius who hides among bookshelves to check Renslayer’s tempad.

I love the visual here, how it seems we’re pecking on Mobius by a hole but whatever, might be just me.

Renslayer’s tempad confirms C-20 died so Mobius is about to close it when he decides to check the classified report of the mission on Renslayer’s tempad. Renslayer conveniently recorded C-20 saying:

Hunter C-20: You're not hearing me. I was there. This was real, what I saw. This is a place that I've been. This wasn't the TVA. This was a memory. I lived down there. I went to that bar. I had friends. I had a whole life on the Sacred Timeline.

Interrogator: Calm down.

Hunter C-20: "Calm down"? I'm a Variant. So are you. So is every single person in this place. I'm ending this.

So yeah, Mobius, Loki didn’t lie to you, you moron, that excuse was way too dumb to be a lie.

Also C-20 never went mad as Renslayer said. Because it was Renslayer who lied to you, Mobius. Because in the real world people are awful to get what we want and maybe you should take lessons from a prince.

Just as to remark Renslayer knew this and not just because it’s on her tempad, she also appear on the screen, proof she was listening. To do what I don’t know.

We go back to Loki who’s just being beaten by Sif again because Mobius, his friend, couldn’t let him sit on a chair while he checked if Loki told him the truth. We also see how all this beating isn’t really breaking Loki.

Although he has previously apologized to Sif and accepted his fault, now he’s just annoyed he has to hear her saying such things over and over and beating him.

Because beating people doesn’t make them better.

On another side, since Loki knew what he had to tell to Sif to make her stop I wonder why he didn’t repeat it… or why he didn’t try to think of a plan. Whatever.

Mobius drops there with the dumbest question of the year:

Mobius: What are you doing?

Loki has a sarcastic reply for his idiotic question:

Loki: Passing the time.

No, really, Mobius trapped him there, what was he thinking Loki was doing, playing poker with Sif?

So now is Mobius’ time for another dumb question:

Mobius: Do you care about her?

I mean, after you called her his female self that he, a seismic narcissist, have some demented crush on, of course Loki wants to open his heart to you. Who wouldn’t?

Mobius tells him to shut up and then asks if he really think you deserve to be alone… as if this was Loki’s idea and not something Mobius’ tried to brainwash him into believing. Loki doesn’t reply which upset Mobius as when Mobius says ‘jump’ Loki should only say ‘how high?’, so Loki point out how MOBIUS TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP. Because Mobius is not making any sense and Loki needs to lampshade this.

Mobius asks him if he thinks he deserves to be alone.

Loki replies he doesn’t know which means his pretty words to Sif were all pretty words. He didn’t believe them, not fully. Thanks God.

So now the conversation starts to get surreal.

Mobius: You better figure it out quick, because the nexus event the two of you caused, whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down.

Okay, I’m not following this, after belittling Loki’s relation with Sylvie now he’s trying to tell him he has to get together with her for the sake of bringing down the TVA? That’s why Loki has to get with Sylvie? Why he doesn’t have to believe he deserves to be alone? So now Loki’s crush is no more demented but a key to throw down the TVA?

What was sticking him with Sif then, an attempt at manipulating him into not getting in relationship with other Lokis? So Mobius knew already he and Sylvie had a crush on each other? Because it looked like he stuck Loki with Sif PRIOR to knowing it.

I’m lost but whatever, Mobius decide THEY have to do something so Loki remarks on the use of plural.

Mobius asks him to swear Sylvie didn’t implant whose memories in C-20.

It’s a dumb question as not only Loki could lie but Sylvie could have lied to him and anyway Renslayer lied so it’s not like she’s safe to trust either.

Loki vouches for Sylvie and Mobius asks:

Mobius: So, I just have to trust the word of two Lokis?

No, please, Mobius, don’t. You’ve wasted everyone’s time questioning Loki when you don’t believe him. Really, I don’t get why you wanted to use someone you don’t trust. What did you come there for if you can’t believe him?

At this Loki, who’s at first hurt, replies:

Loki: How about the word of a friend?

And okay, it has to be Stockholm Syndrome talking. That or masochism. Because friends don’t close you in a timeloop in which you get beaten and humiliated for all that time so really Loki, don’t be Mobius’ friend.

So now Mobius admits Loki was right about the TVA from the beginning, which was damn time and would have realized it sooner had he spared 5 minutes of his time on this and tells him if Loki wants to save Sylvie he has to trust him. Because Mobius never lied and manipulated him, no, really. You’re lucky Loki has Stockholm Syndrome so of course he’ll trust you.

So Mobius goes:

Mobius: Okay. You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different.

Yeah, someone did. Should I refresh you, your memory Mobius?

Mobius: You weren't born to be king, Loki. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. That's how it is, that's how it was, that's how it will be. All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves.

Or maybe you prefer this, which includes Sylvie too?

Mobius: You two, what a pair! Gosh! Unbelievable. Wherever you go, it's just death, destruction, the literal ends of worlds.

I mean, if this is Mobius’ way to apologize for all the things it tossed at Loki, it honestly sucks, and it gets worse because he’s merely doing because he needs him to cooperate with him because, guess what? As Loki told him from the start the TVA sucks and had been lying to him and he just didn’t want to see and has exchanged his own belief in the TVA for ‘truth’.

I mean, he’s probably being as sincere as he can be, as we know he has wondered if Loki could be good, but he has been so manipulative with Loki up until now that really, him saying Loki this when he needs Loki to trust him, only feels like him being manipulative.

Are we sure Mobius isn’t another Loki variant, one Renslayer wanted to keep as her pet?

Still I think Loki understood this was Mobius’ way to apologize as he smiles and follows him.

The moment they leave the Timeloop they find themselves face to face with Renslayer and four hunters.

And here it’s where the writer forgot Mobius too is supposed to be smart. For start because it didn’t dawn on him to remove Loki’s collar from him, to continue because when Renslayer points out she has something of hers he returns the Tempad, their only way to leave the place, to her.

I can explain this merely by going under the idea that Mobius still think that the fact they’re friends would push Renslayer to cover up for him, which clearly means he doesn’t know/understand her as much as he thinks.

Mbatha-Raw:

“She’s really worked hard to get where she is, so she’s not going to be reckless with the power that has been hard-earned for her. She, in some ways, is deeply indoctrinated with the ways of the TVA. She’s completely conditioned by their thinking and the idea of the Sacred Timeline, and the concept of free will is quite alien to her. She’s a believer. She believes in law and order, and it’s done quite well for her so far in terms of getting her to where she is. She’s not going to abandon her philosophy lightly.”

[‘Loki’: Owen Wilson Says Renslayer’s Betrayal of Mobius in Episode 4 Was ‘Pretty Shocking’

]

And in a way the situation we’re facing is really funny because Mobius believes Renslayer betrayed him… but she believes he’s the one who betrayed her. And this in a way mirrors Mobius’ relation with Loki.

To Renslayer Mobius had no right to doubt her, to question her decisions, to doubt the TVA even if the TVA is lying and she knows it. To her, Mobius is the dog who peed on the carpet.

Mobius instead somehow believed to be an equal friend, to whom she owed the truth, so he’s hurt by her acting as if he was just her disobedient dog.

She lied to him, manipulated him, demanded from him to be a loyal TVA supporter who only seek for her approbation and when he goes and doesn’t do this, she punishes him by pruning him. She doesn’t even try to beat him into submission again, she just get rid of him because her faith in her cult is more important than their ‘friendship’.

She’s a real Nazi in a way.

But the irony is that Mobius was the same with Loki and now he experiences what it means to be on the other side.

His emotional speech:

Mobius: What's the problem, Ravonna? You know where I'd go if I could go anywhere? Wherever it is I'm really from. Yeah, wherever I had a life before the TVA came along. Maybe I had a jet ski. That's what I'd like to do. Just riding around on my jet ski.

…it changes nothing in Renslayer’s mind, she’s like him, she doesn’t want the truth, the honesty, she wants submission but she’s not even going to waste time to work him into submission again. She probably plans to replace him with another Mobius Variant who’ll be more obedient this time.

Note that pruning him hurts her… but she has it done anyway, the way Mobius had oh so many branches pruned. Because that’s what they did at the TVA.

It’s a damn case of “‘I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party”.

Mobius never thought he would be the one ending up pruned, being a Variant and ending up pruned was other people’s problem, Loki’s problem, not Mobius’, Mobius was one of the good guys, he was created by the TVA so such things wouldn’t happen to him.

Now… this is the same problem I had with B-15.

We are supposed to feel sorry for Mobius and I probably would feel very sorry for him if he hadn’t been a complete asshole to Loki up till 5 minutes ago. I get maybe they were aiming to take advantage of Owen Wilson’s fans, who loved Mobius no matter what they do or to how Loki and Renslayer still mourn him because Stockholm syndrome pushes you to do this and your pet dog is always your pet dog even if you decide to shoot him down because, to you, he’s rabid but all I felt was that Mobius had got what he deserved, what he did to Loki was done to him.

And this is a goddamn shame because I would have been a lot sadder if Mobius hadn’t act in such a way in this episode.

I mean, yes, in episode 1 & 2 he was still manipulative but he had genuine moments in which he was sympathetic and didn’t want to gratuitously hurt people.

Mobius: What are you doing? Hey! These people are scared.

Hunter D-90: They're about to die. They should be scared.

Mobius: Okay. Not of us.

I love this scene because he just stood up for those people even if he had nothing to gain, just because he didn’t want the TVA to scare them even if they were about to die and would have been rest if they weren’t to die. This wasn’t manipulation, this was Mobius being a decent being and… and this episode just tossed it away.

His whole interrogation scene with Loki, from the moment he just had him beaten and belittled to ‘soften him’ to how he ends by having him beaten and belittled again even though the case is closed is nonsense and disgusting. That’s not what a decent human being would do.

On a positive note Mbatha-Raw is very good in the scene. It’s clear a part of her is suffering, yet another remains hard. She turns her face away because she can’t watch when Mobius is pruned, even the way she squeezed her eyes shut and then relaxed them but kept them closed is a nice detail and so is the way she looks at Loki, still hurt by Mobius’ disappearance but firm, how she takes long breaths after saying they’ve to wait for her, how she first looks down, as if ashamed then up, as if to ask the moral support of her gods or whatever and then closes her eyes and mouth as if to swallow it all and go on.

She’s good.

Mind you, I loved how Owen Wilson gave his speech and I love Tom Hiddleston’s reacting to him being pruned which interestingly opposes to Mbatha-Raw’s as he keeps his eyes wide open and he tries to reach for him where she instead close them and kind of tries to ‘hold away’ from him, her body posture close where Tom Hiddleston’s is open and then he closes his eyes, calm down and straighten up before facing her in a ‘it was your doing’ way. He let himself be carried away but he turns to look at her so as to keep eye contact with her and she’s the one who has to lower her gaze.

Now, I personally wish Loki wouldn’t mourn Mobius because really, Mobius wasn’t good to him, but since he’s supposed to do it, I can only say Tom Hiddleston’s performance here is good as well.

Very fitting also the background music, especially when Loki is escorted through the corridor and now he seems to be worn out as he waves a little as he walks and then… he stops, and I’m not sure if there’s a reason or he just waves a little for the sake of him being emotionally hurt and the guards have to steady him and then force him to resume walking. In itself that pause was good to animate a walking scene who otherwise would have been pretty boring… but I don’t know if there’s a reason for it beyond that. But well, Loki had been beaten up till now so maybe he has a right at also being physically worn out.

So anyway Renslayer go to see Sylvie and as soon as she does she claims someone was there with her and wants to know who. Well, I guess the fact Sylvie is soaked was a dead giveaway so really, they should have found her a hairdryer before sending her back there. Besides why not to get inside the Roxxcart where it’s dry, instead than outside?

I get that outside, under the rain, the scene came a lot more dramatic and so technically better but logic is king of important as well. Giving away that Sylvie was taken outside to chat, as Sylvie has no bruises on herself, is dumb. I mean, had B-15 given her a black eye they could have at least pass if for B-15 taking her revenge on her but like this… it’s so dumb…

In fact as soon as Renslayer discovers it was B-15, she decides she too had been compromised and people has to search for her. Not that it matters as they won’t find her. After all she has a Tempad and has learnt she can hide in apocalypses.

Sylvie smiles at her smugly because she is enjoying seeing Renslayer under pressure and how could she not? It was Renslayer who captured her.

Sylvie is then taken away but this time only by two guards because they’ve decided giving her more when the last time she managed to punch one is useless. No, actually Renslayer might have figured if Sylvie has remained in her ‘theater’ (yeah, she and Loki were put into rooms called ‘time theaters’) instead than escaping with B-15, she’s willing to let herself be dragged to meet the Time-Keepers.

Or not, the plot had the characters act in dumb or irrational ways way too often so I don’t know.

Sylvie is anyway taken in front of the same door in front of which Loki is waiting. I love how she whispers to him an ‘You okay?’ even if I would prefer it wasn’t because she’s also crushing on him but because she was touched by how he gave her appreciation and validation. Loki nods once, deeply, but doesn’t verbally replies which is kind of worrisome per se.

Renslayer says she’ll handle things from there and open the door of the golden elevator with her ‘electronic key’ meaning when Sylvie got there the first time, as she was without key, she wouldn’t have been able to do anything. Loki and Sylvie follow Renslayer while the guards remain behind.

Sylvie asks Renslayer is she remembers her and when she answers affirmatively, always calling her Variant, she asks her which was her Nexus event. To Renslayer who asks her what does it matter she replies:

Sylvie: It was enough to take my life from me, lead to all of this. Must have been important. So, what was it?

I feel bad for Sylvie because maybe she doesn’t remember Miss Minute’s video (by the way did Miss Minute had a reason to exist or we’re meant to forget about her?) in which they said to create a Nexus even it’s enough to be late for work. Maybe Sylvie wasn’t meant to be there to play but should have been in the Vault with Thor and Odin learning about how glorious was Asgard for having beaten the Frost Giants. Maybe she was just meant to play ball instead than dolls but in short, what destroyed her life didn’t have to be important because that’s the kind of jerks the TVA is.

They punish someone for doing something completely innocent without having any idea it was the ‘wrong’ thing, ‘wrong’ being a matter of perspective because I bet they pruned all the Lokis who didn’t sent the Frost Giants in the Vault or didn’t try to kill Thor or didn’t attack New York because THOSE WERE THINGS MEANT TO HAPPEN.

The TVA is not about morality, I wonder if it’s about the entertainment of the Time-Keepers.

Anyway Renslayer smirks and then tells Sylvie she doesn’t remember. Honestly I doubt she doesn’t remember and even if she did, she could have made up something but she just prefers to hurt Sylvie by implying her Nexus event was so unimportant it wasn’t even worth remembering.

The door open and they are in a bluish, foggy place. There are two guards giving them their back and two instead facing them and, in front of them there are the three space lizards known as the Time-Keepers. Hum… the impression I get is that the place is foggy because it’s freezing cold since there are white bits that seem ice but… I’m not sure as nobody seems to be feeling cold.

Renslayer announces to the Time-Keeper she had brought them the Variants.

Now I was thinking it was poor effects, as the space lizard talk in a mechanical way and are so still they seem robot and even when their face move as they speak they seem mechanical… but no, it’ll turn out they’re robot. Whatever, I’m running ahead.

The lizards ask them what they have to say before being killed.

Okay, so Loki says and I quote:

Loki: Is that the only reason you brought us here? To kill us? I've lost track of the number of times I've been killed, so go ahead. Do your worst.

And I am WAIT, YOU’VE BEEN KILLED BEFORE? EVEN IF YOU’RE STILL UNDER THE WRONG BELIEF THOR TOSSED YOU INTO AN ABYSS, WHICH HE DIDN’T AS HE WANTED TO SAVE YOU AND YOU LET GO DUE TO ODIN’S HIGHLY MOTIVATIONAL WORDS (really, Odin should write demotivational posters quote along with Mobius) THAT COUNTS ONLY AS ONE. YOU DIDN’T DIE IN “THE AVENGERS”. CAN WE HOPE THIS MEANS WE’LL BE REVEALED WHAT HAPPENED IN THE YEAR IN BETWEEN “THOR” AND “THE AVENGERS”? OR IT’S JUST TO BE MEANT RANDOM BABBLING? PLEASE, LET ME KNOW!

Anyway okay, back to normal.

The Time-keepers tell them they’re no threat to them and Sylvie counters she believes they’re scared. She tries to get closer but Renslayer uses the Time Twister so she can’t.

The Time-Keepers complains they’re just a ‘cosmic disappointment’ why I’ve no idea as it’s not like they created the Variants so the Variants aren’t supposed to please them, and tell to delete them.

Sylvie tries to protest she’s not done with them but Renslayer tries to use the Time Twister and only manages to stop her because B-15 all of sudden comes to rescue because the TVA did a horrible job at tracking her apparently. B-15 disables Loki and Sylvie’s collars, then she mockingly repeats the TVA motto ‘For all time. Always’, before handing Sylvie her sword that originally had been put as a trophy in Renslayer’s office.

The two guards behind immediately knock down B-15 who didn’t even bother bring her weapon or, if she had, didn’t pull it out. Renslayer orders to the four guards to protect the Time-Keepers, so now it’s Renslayers and 4 guards against Loki and Sylvie. Renslayer decides not to fight, to be honest because the guards evidently had been given a better version of the Supersoldier serum and can comfortably stand against Loki and Sylvie with no problems whatsoever.

Really, if I don’t get an explanation on why human Variants are all of sudden strong enough they can stand against Loki I’ll think those guys have never seen “The Avengers”.

In fact the 2 guards fighting Loki are about to overpower Loki who asks for Sylvie’s help as she’s holding against her 2 guards just fine and she hands him her sword. Meanwhile, despite being weaponless, Sylvie… kicks to unconsciousness? Is that what she did? a guard, steals his weapon and instead than prune his companion with it, she stabs her. Because, you know, this is cooler and rule of cool always win.

All while Renslayer watches because whoever rules at the TVA has never read the ‘Evil Overlord list’ rule 75 “I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.”

Actually there’s a huge list of rules the TVA ignored but this is the most important at the moment.

Anyway while the camera ignores Loki fighting with two guards in the background, we’re supposed to focus on Sylvie and Renslayer. Sylvie gives Renslayer a sporting chance letting her pick up a weapon. No idea why, really. Who cares about sport when you’re there to kill the Time-Keepers?

Besides, who cares about Loki? This is Sylvie’s moment to look cool.

Anyway Renslayer tells her this time she’ll finish the job, they fight, she ends on the ground, manages to turn their positions and punches Renslayer into unconsciousness, just in time for Loki to finish killing his guards. Why she didn’t kill Renslayer? Because the plot needs Renslayer to make troubles afterward so Sylvie, despite having a weapon and having used it to kill a guard, only punches Renslayer, which she should hate as much as the Time-Keepers, into unconsciousness.

Let me facepalm, please.

Now the Time-Keepers go:

Time-Keeper 1: You're a child of the Time-Keepers too, Sylvie. We can talk.

And okay, I’m not following this. Are they implying they created the Variants? Are they trying to pass themselves for Gods? Or it’s just Sylvie they created?

Sylvie tosses against one of the sword Loki gave her back, decapitating him. The Time-Keepers starts laughing as it turns out the Time-Keeper she decapitate was a robot.

I get “Wizard of Oz” feelings and I swear if it turn out this was created by an evil Loki Variant I’m gonna scream.

The Time-Keepers somehow deactivates, not sure if someone did it, or it was Sylvie pointing a weapon at them.

Sylvie picks up the head and, seeing it’s a robotic one and never having heard of Ultron and Vision, decides since they had robotic head they’re fake, mindless androids. Which yes, they have to be because we’re missing 2 episodes and they were beaten too easily but she’s not supposed to be aware of the episode count.

Whatever, Loki decides, I think, this would probably be a good moment to declare his love only they forget Renslayer is alive and she prunes Loki in front of Sylvie. At this point Renslayer forgets her warrior skills and Sylvie easily rips her weapon from her but, instead than pruning Renslayer as she asks, she informs her she’ll tell her everything. Meaning she will use her powers to force Renslayer to be cooperative.

The episode apparently ends, with the ending credit replaced by a love song, “If you love me” by Brenda Lee. Just in case you didn’t get Loki was about to make a Love confession.

When the ending… well, ends though, we see Loki opening his eyes and wondering if he’s dead and in Hel.

He’s told:

“Not yet. But you will be unless you come with us.”

As he looks up he sees four version of himself, a child, an old man, a POC and an alligator.

I can’t help but point out the costume the old Loki is wearing, despite being based on the one old Loki wears in the comics somehow feels like a poor cosplay.

Behind them the ruins of a city which, I bet, is New York. I wonder if they’re in an apocalypse created by the attack of New York succeeding.

And so the episode ends.

Now… this episode is, plotwise, better than the previous, as the previous was basically an excuse to get Loki and Sylvie to spend time together so as for them to fall in love. Oh and the revelation everyone in the TVA is a variant but really, Sylvie could have told Loki that in Ep 2 and we wouldn’t have missed anything big.

This one episode as, instead, a plot… but there are some things that just don’t add up and felt tossed there at random. I mostly mourn how the ruined Mobius’ character because this episode seriously damaged the sympathy I had for him, with that useless decision to have Loki belittled and beaten for… fundamentally nothing since he doesn’t believe him. Then he further insults him for falling for Sylvie before he decides to switch sides and no, Loki shouldn’t believe all the cruel things he told him because… hum… they weren’t true because Mobius is his friend. Not like how he said he was before, this time he’s really his friend the fact he needs him doesn’t matter, he’s not like Loki who uses people he’s one of the good guys of the TVA, you know, the ones who belittle and prune Variants unaware they’re Variants too.

Okay, I’m still very salty on this bit but I just didn’t enjoy the useless abuse of Loki.

It wasn’t funny, it had no purpose and it also ruined Mobius as a character.

It even impacted negatively on Sif which was fundamentally used to beat Loki up over and over when she already had, just for Mobius’ purposes, whatever they were.

Honestly I’m sick and tired of Marvel thinking that abusing of someone is a funny joke, especially if the one doing the beating is a girl.

The only thing it serves was to remark Sif had no love for Loki, which everyone seeing the movie could have guessed already.

Another thing I didn’t quite enjoy was how this is turning into Sylvie’s story. Is the purpose of this series pass the Loki baton to Sylvie?

We have the guards of the TVA being as strong as supersoldiers so far without explanation whatsoever, with Loki, who, in Asgard was trained to fight, in “Thor” could hold his ground against Frost Giants and even fight with Thor and who, in “The Avengers” gets punched by Cap and merely turns his face before he hits Cap with the sceptre and sent him flying and this not with magical powers but merely with his strength. And he does so TWICE, completely able to avoid Caps’ blows. Caps kicks him in the face and Loki remains standing and tosses him on the ground again.

Loki lets himself be arrested because:

a) Iron Man joins and he manages to send him on the ground by shooting at him and

b) because this was part of the plan.

Coulson shot him with a super powerful weapon and still Loki got up and left the Helicarrier on his feet. When Thor tried to hit Loki with his hammer, Loki could stop the blow by having it hit his sceptre without him even wavering on his feet.

And then okay, this Loki hadn’t lived through them but in “Thor: The Dark World” he could hold his ground against elves while in “Thor: Ragnarok” against Hela’s undead Asgardian soldiers.

And now we’ve those Variants of humans who can give him problems? Sylvie even gives him his weapon!

And all this while Sylvie, who had to learn to fight on her own, can hold her ground weaponless against two of them and save time to fight and beat Renslayer too?

Whatever, let’s hope we’ll get an explanation.

And then there’s the romance between Sylvie and Loki, which is useless or the whole idea Sylvie is Loki and all those other guys plus the alligator are Loki and I’d like to know what decides they’re Loki variants since they’re clearly genetically different from him… never mention one of them managed to get old when Loki supposedly died ‘young’ in the sacred timeline so what? The truth is he didn’t die in “Avengers: Infinity War” and grew old?

And why genetically different Variants of Loki were allowed to exist? How come this didn’t cause a Nexus event?

But whatever, let’s put aside my complains about the plot holes or the messed characterization and the nonsense dialogues and talk of the good stuff, like the acting or the director’s job or the music which really fit some scenes. There’s some really good stuff here.

And well, let’s mention the plot is not all to waste.

There were some good ideas in this.

To have the TVA agents discover they’re also Variants like the people they discriminated and pruned could have been great, I mean, one of the best scenes of “Thor” is Loki discovering he’s a Frost Giant so this could have been SO VERY COOL.

The Lokis forming a bond also had potential as idea on paper. If they were the same this could have pushed them to learn to appreciate themselves, if they were different, this could have pushed them to appreciate others. They didn’t need the romantic story and the idea they’re the same only they’re completely different so the fact they’re the same seems an idiocy.

Really, from a series who give space to a lot of female characters, who don’t just talk among them about men but about plot related issues, I don’t see why we need to pair together the two Lokis.

Mobius being Loki’s friend could have been great if he had acted as such and not as an abusive pet owner whose dog has peed on the carpet. But whatever, it could have been great to have Renslayer do the same to him, if this were to be acknowledged, if it were to be acknowledged how they both are poor friends.

Also Mobius’ death could have been a lot more moving if they hadn’t ruined him in this very same episode.

Seeing Sif again and learning of Loki’s past mischief? Could have been great if it wasn’t used for what turned into a torture scene or ‘police brutality’ who however wasn’t meant to be seen as bad as it was because it’s a woman who beat Loki.

Even the police brutality or the fascist agency could have been great plot point if it wasn’t they’re barely brushed over.

Loki reflecting on his behaviour could have been good if it wasn’t inserted into what was basically a torture scene.

Little Sylvie’s backstory could have been awesome if it had been realist, if this little escaping child had had knowledge of a Tempad and had had someone to help her.

I mean, there are some genuine good things in this plot… but then they got ruined by poor planning or poor explanation or abrupt character OOC.

It’s a pity.

We’ll see if episode 5 will redeem himself.

#mcu loki #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #sylvie #mobius m mobius #ravonna renslayer #hunter b 15 #hunter c 20 #hunter u 92 #9 worlds study #9 worlds study mcu loki

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zhoufeis · 3 years

Text

Yay! The newbie (me) has finished 10 korean dramas

....... and here are my ratings.

Let’s rate from worst to best:

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10) Romance is a Bonus Book. Rating: 2,1 / 5 stars - skip it.

- I kept seeing this show on my dash and since my first kdrama watch was W Two Worlds with the wonderful Lee Jong-suk, I decided to give it a chance.

- But hell, no one warned me how bad it actually is. I’m not talking about the acting (the cast is actually quite solid), but I’m referring to... the plot (or lack thereof), the love story (let’s rather call it one-sided obsession) and the wasted potential. Let’s start with the set-up. A company producing books, a single mother who needs a job, her childhood best friend who works for the company. Yeah, it’s not precisely complex or inventive, but it’s something to work with. Create nice dynamics at the working place, have some yearning between the two leads, give them heartwarming moments and a confession of how they’ve always been in love with each other. There’s just one problem: she really never, ever had any romantic feelings for her childhood best friend. She keeps calling him a brother and insists on him being her closest friend (which seems a stretch since she lied to him for a year about her separation from her husband and kept sort of creeping up into his house to eat and shower there without letting him know). Anyway, I could oversee this (even though I hate the trope of childhood best friends becoming lovers in adult life just because one is a man and the other a woman) if AT LEAST we actually get to see her falling for him slowly within the show. But we just.... don’t. He confesses his love to her - as she is actually starting to see someone else, and let me tell you, she actually seemed to be into the second lead -, then promises her not to push his feelings onto her... but that’s exactly what he does (I guess I don’t need to mention I ended up not being his biggest fan), and she ends up falling for him for unknown reasons. Eh. Okay. I started rooting for the second leads halfway into the show. Hae-rin & Eun-ho as well as Seo-joo & Dan-i appeared to me as the much more shippable pairings. I might have actually cried for Hae-rin & Eun-ho at some point of the show, but well... Moving on to... everything else. I enjoyed some scenes in the company, but not enough that I could tell you any right now because there wasn’t anything very memorable. The show basically thrives in some random scenes usually involving one of the two leads rather than in scenes with the two of them. That random author’s suicide has stuck with me as well as the letters that song hae-rin has wrote to our male lead over the years. The talk about fears between eun-ho and that author has stuck with me too, but other than that... there’s just nothing really happening. I was patiently waiting for a plot to come but nothing ever came. It just feels like a bunch of really uninteresting subplots put into one show. I don’t wanna judge it too harshly, but one of the other modern day dramas I will discuss further down this list also simply works with a bunch of subplots coming together - and it’s wonderfully executed (it’s ‘Run On’, for those of you who are wondering!)

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Positive: nice friendship between women (dan-i & hae-rin); delivery of lee jong-suk, jeong eu-gene & park gyu-young; one strong scene involving a life lesson every few eps

- Negative: no main plot, dull subplots... nothing happens, very cheesy at some points, the protagonizing couple is quite problematic and unshippable, their chemistry is not strong enough to oversee that; i really don’t know why people like this show.

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9) Radio Romance. Rating: 3,2 / 5 stars - it’s cute.

- Radio Romance is the show on this list that drives me into conflict with myself. Because some things about this show are very strong; others (many) very, very weak. I guess the main problem is that the show’s set-up mostly shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but it deals with some heavy topics that need to be taken seriously. And unlike quality japanese animes or some quality chinese drama that usually achieve to make you realize what can be taken as a joke and what can not, Radio Romance is sort of incapable of keeping that balance. You gotta figure it for yourself.

- While offering a quite enjoyable cast and some quite different personalities within the show, there is no one particularly standing out. As you will see as we go further down on this list, this is not my only Kim So-hyun drama, it was also not my first, and I can promise you that it won’t be my last. I simply adore this actress, she’s enjoyable to watch. I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of her, which is why I checked out the show in the first place. Compared to her other characters though, Song Geu-rim is kind and nice and all, but not too memorable. She’s portraying a nice girl next door here with a dream to become a good radio script writer. And if not even her character stands out, as expected, none of the others will either. As for the plot... We don’t really have one, I suppose. If you count the plot making the radio show, I suppose then episode 3 or 4 is the last with actual development. I was hoping for more conflicts and plot twists involving Soo-ho’s backstory - and we got them, but very, very, very late on the show. Basically, getting through the first 7 eps felt very easy to me, due to the change of locations and relationship growth, and getting through the last 3 as well. Although the last was such a cheesy ending, you have no idea. The middle part suffered from a lack of plot and character development as well as it suffered from a focus on the love triangle - which I totally could have lived without. Like, istg, what was the POINT of this love triangle? Soo-ho and Geu-rim had to deal with enough things already, bringing in yet another obstacle through the tercero and putting the focus onto this love triangle was just soooo cliché. And don’t even get me started on how they also went with the problematic love triangle tropes rather than to at least make it somewhat adorable or funny. It was also boring. I kept pausing the episodes there and didn’t keep watching for days. It was only at the end of episode 13 that things finally got interesting again when we finally got to learn more about Soo-ho’s backstory. From then on, I was able to end the show within 2 days. So, no, the backstory was not the thing that drives me into conflict though. What drives me into conflict is how such a quite flat story was able to portray a very good, very realistic case of depression and PTSD. Like wow. This must have been one of the few shows, in which we have a canonically diagnosed character who does not fall into stereotypes and in which his depression isn’t used as a mere plot device to get the ship together and cure him by that. His depression is underlying at all times, sometimes more, sometimes less. He is told to get treatment (”no treatment, no medication.”), he has moments in which his depression mentally and physically restrains him from acting. It’s a very layered, realistic depiction and I adored every single bit of it. Meanwhile, the character isn’t defined by his depression nevertheless - there’s more to Soo-ho then just the depression, and after all, he was an outstanding character (to correct what I said before because I was lying xD). So... for all the lack of plot and development and predictable storytelling, the depiction of depression and the peacefulness of the protagonizing couple save that show.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Negative: unnecessary love triangles with unnecessary clichés; barely any plot; sheer boredom in the middle of the show; takes itself and its tropes way too seriously.

- Positive: complex character who is suffering from depression and PTSD; layered, realistic depiction of depression; adorable couple that transmits peacefulness.

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8) Rookie Historian Goo Hae-ryung. Rating: 3,5 / 5 stars - nice, but it is no must-watch.

- I feel genuinely bad for putting this right after Radio Romance and Romance is a Bonus Book, because Rookie Historian was, simply put, muuuuuuuuch better. I got invested in the characters and their backstories. The story is quite more complex in retrospect than it seemed at first, but the show’s issue is that this is rather less apparent in more than the first quarter of the show. I really don’t even recall what happened in those first few episodes because it is rather unimportant for the rest of the show, with minor exceptions. The story truly starts picking up around episode 9 and has a strong run until around episode 15. The last quarter of the show then is wayyyyy too fast-moving, too many things happening and we barely spend time on things I then wished to spend more time on. Unfortunately, despite having a good set-up and a quite fine cast, I don’t think I’ll remember anything in particular about this show in a year. It’s a nice watch, even though I sometimes really had to motivate myself to keep watching in the first eps, but it hasn’t lingered in my memory after I finished it.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Positive: rather lots of plot; positive female relationships; feminism; shin se-kyung; leading couple as well as the second leading couple, even though romance is not at the core of the show; nice messages about morality and truth.

- Negative: the first few eps are really.... slow-moving. To the point that I’d recommend putting the first 8 eps into 2-3 eps and giving more space in the end. Especially the last 4 eps of the show are way too fast-moving. Furthermore, there’s some plotholes. My biggest issue though is the glorification of europe's christianity during the 18th and 19th century. I was not expecting that in a korean drama but it seemed utterly wrong in my eyes, specifically because the show used it to promote that chrisitianity promotes equality of all races and genders. Not to be a bitch, but europe’s christian beliefs have never stopped europeans from discriminating women and non-white people, not then and not now.

- My general impression of the show is quite positive, but I’m not sure I’d willingly watch it again since knowing all the plot twists and storylines actually is enough to be watched once with that show. An experience that I haven’t made with the other kdramas that are higher ranked on this list.

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7) A Love So Beautiful. Rating: 3,5 / 5 stars - if you really don’t want to think at all and just watch a light, easy to follow show, that is your pick. However, NOT recommended for first-time kdrama watchers - it gives you a totally wrong impression of what kdramas are actually capable of achieving.

- I’d like to point out that this show has surprised me in a good way - but there’s things that need to be pointed out here, so let me make three paragraphs: the first will talk about my impression of the first 16 eps; the second will talk about the last 8 eps; and the last will talk about how this show was cute, but could have been incredible, but didn’t use its potential correctly.

- Episodes 1-16: Look, the thing about those eps is very easy to point out: it’s not quality and it is never pretending to be (unlike romance is a bonus book, which pretends to be some smart, adult quality show but is just trash). Those eps cannot be taken totally serious. You have to go in there knowing exactly what is awaiting you. I started it because when I saw the trailer, I immediately realized all the tropes that Extraordinary You (higher ranked, you will see later) was making fun of. What you see is exactly what you get: Clichéd characters, clichéd love story, average acting, average directing, simple dialogue, clichéd love triangle, predictable developments - a simple romcom put into a tv show format. It’s cliché over cliché over cliché put into a het high school love story. And you know what? After weeks of studying for and writing my uni exams, it was exactly what I needed. The show is so over the top with its clichés that it’s genuinely funny. The lightheartedness and the non-existing complexity just add to that. Basically, you could argue that it’s all so bad with its clichés, which is why it becomes hilarious. Unlike other kdramas, it has a straightforward plot: a girl is in love with a boy and wants to be with him. It’s as easy as that. The show clearly loves featuring every trope you could associate with het love stories, but honestly, it’s so light and breezy and such a fast watch (due to the fact that each ep is between 20-25 minutes), you will finish those first 16 episodes before you know you even started it (I made it in less than 2 days). I want to repeat here though, it’s not for someone who starts with kdramas and hasn’t watched other kdramas. It cannot be taken seriously - and you only cannot take it seriously when you have seen things like Extraordinary You or W or, I guess, a bunch of high school kdramas. But I’m telling you, this is the only Kdrama on this list that you can watch in the most stressful time of your life and it will make you feel better. It won’t make you cry, it will make you laugh, and the moment it is out of your sight, you will forget about it - at least, that’s the case about the first 16 eps. And then we get to...

- Episodes 17-24: guys, what have I gotten myself into? As these people finished high school and their problems actually also got more adult, I started to grow genuinely attached, specifically to the ship. When she got sick and he didn’t even know although he’s a DOCTOR? When she was sexually harassed and didn’t know how to talk to him about it because their relationship was filled with other problems? When he left for 3 years and later told her that he had hoped she’d follow him because she always has... and then she didn’t? When he said that everyone is under the impression that she is more dependent on him but that he is actually the one who cannot imagine a life without her? IT ALL HURT BADLY. Because 1) so many years passed in such a short amount of time on the show and it felt like someone was ripping my heart out. I got genuinely reminded of that stupid US movie “One Day” - and y’all know how that movie ended. And because 2) there was a very realistic notion in the adult relationship portrayed. Not only did it point out how differently relationships/friendships can develop once you outgrow your teenage years and start navigating your life by yourself, but the problems, the misunderstandings, the different perceptions of time, the different perceptions of how friendships and relationships are developing - I honestly could relate to it a lot, looking at it from a 24yo perspective because it is something I have been experiencing as well since I finished high school. You feel more lonely and tend to perceive some time as passing by quickly, other times, it feels like everything is going so slow. These last 8 eps completely differ from my perception that I had in the first 16 eps of the show, as the tone is much more serious and the things depicted realistic and relatable. I also sobbed a lot. I didn’t sob at all, ever, in the first 16 eps, but the last 8 were me crying a lot and feeling my heart hurt as the years passed by and these two just spent them apart.

- So, what do I criticize about this show? The show’s pacing. I genuinely loved the change of feeling between high school and adult life, between ridiculousness and seriousness, and I know the show wants to celebrate youth at the end of the day. But I honestly believe this show could have worked so much better if u cut the high school episodes down to 8 episodes and rather spend a few more eps exploring their young adult lives. It would have worked so much better because their young adult selves were genuinely relatable, as well as their problems. The growth within the characters, realizing that the way they acted as teenagers were often self-centred or that they didn’t think that much about the consequences or how other people felt was nicely done. The show had potential. The dialogues were bearable, the camera work had hints of something great. In other words, I believe that with more carefulness to directing and dialogue, the show could have genuinely been a quality romance drama. The potential was there, but it wasn’t used the way it should have been. In the last 8 eps, you simply get a whiff on what this show could have actually been. Because the realistic character and relationship writing was right there - and if it had been put together with awesome directing and better pacing, everything could have been incredible.

SUMMARY

Favorite character:

Negative: the show’s pacing; the waste of potential to be an actual quality romance.

Positive: the un-seriousness of the first 16 eps, which were just so clichéd that it all was hilarious, compared to the seriousness of problems and development depicted in the past 8 eps.

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6) Run On. Rating: 4,2 / 5 stars - recommend

- I’m gonna be honest here and tell you something about me you might have guessed by now: Modern-day shows with no sci-fi nor fantasy elements are not particularly my thing. I usually sort of hate-watch them. Romance is a Bonus Book, A Love So Beautiful and Radio Romance are all of such shows and while I was even capable watching two of them without ending up hating them, they’re far from being my fave. Objectively, they’re okay-ish shows, nothing to be considered quality tv according to my cultural studies though. Subjectively, they just suffer even more from the fact that I’m very keen on being critical of such shows. But what happens when I find a non-fantasy, non-scifi modern-day show that is actually... good? Run On is the answer. Run On has memorable characters, their funny, unique characteristics, and simple conflicts put into nice subplots that often talk real-life problems such as bullying or self-neglegance. At the end of the day, this show is a love poem. It’s a love poem to self-love, self-respect, to friendship, to character growth, to family bonds, to achieving your goals, to making new goals, to kindness, and to life itself. That’s really what it is. You will find yourself in, at least, one of the characters. You will see them struggle, fight, grow, become better, and at the end of the day, the most important thing is that you are capable of living with yourself. I personally got attached to all of the stories and I adored how nothing was ever done over the top. Everything was subtle, multiple subplots working together... to form stories of life. It’s more than just a simple “feelgood” show and less than a devastating tragedy, it truly shows you life and puts it into an aesthetic form, that never neglects its reality. Which leads me to something I should point out here: it’s creatively done. From the fact that Seon-gyeom is waiting for Mi-joo at the end of the track to the drawings of Young-hwa that have Dan-ah in them to Dan-ah realizing that people experience the same things differently due to the fact that experience itself is different to everyone to Mi-joo imagining movie plots with the people she surrounds herself with to Seon-gyeom starting to live with Young-hwa in a small flat rather than to live lonely in a big, fancy hotel room - the things the characters go through in this show are not only talked about, but they’re often expressed through art, in all its forms. And these characters, these dynamics, the art, the conflicts are all subtly but carefully put together into subplots that form the show and very nice messages. The most important take-away I had from this show is that the way we treat us and the people around us is the highest form of art. And the show is a love poem to that.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Positive: the cast (especically the core four), the characters (especially the core four); the wonderful messages about respect, kindness and self-love; the subplots working together, reflecting how life is also not just some simple chronological order of things but rather multiple experiences that we remember and that shape us; life is constant growth.

- Negative: i think the only thing i truly have to criticize is that you never really know what the plot even is. While I do enjoy how the subplots all work together, I would have wished for deeper inspections of some plots. And while it is easy just for some headcanons to come to mind, I still think the show could have incorporated more. Considering the treatment of art forms and how it takes a prominent role within the story (due to Young-hwa and Mi-joo, respectively), I also would have liked to have some cultural nods and references - and interpretations. I think the show used about 85% of its potential - and the potential was great, which is why the rating is still very good.

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5) Bring it on, ghost! Rating: 4,2 / 5 stars - recommend, especially good for people who want to have a focus on romance coupled with a supernatural plot and who want a happy ending

- While the story is pretty easy to follow, often seems to be predictable and familiar, the show still promotes nice messages about forgiveness and regret. The strong side of the show isn’t particularly that though - this show is entirely saved by the two leading actors. Kim So-hyun and Teacyeon portray two incredibly lovable characters you will see yourself drawn to. They furthermore have a chemistry that you just have to love and their bickering is just the best part of all. This is mixed with some tragic moments - in present time as well as in the past - and what you get is a romantic show with a bit of comedy, with a bit of tragedy, but with a very happy ending. If you exchanged the actors with two less skilled actors or two people who simply don’t have a lot of chemistry, this show simply wouldn’t work. Their performances are the shining light of this drama, mixed with some funny side characters that you get to enjoy as well. The reason why it ends up higher on the list than Run On - despite Run On probably having generally the better dialogue writing as well as better camera work and even more beautiful messages - is due to the sole work of the two leads who simply carry this show on their back and the fact that despite having some more or less necessary subplots, there is a main plot here that will take a faster, darker turn in the second half of the show. And I personally just enjoy having a main plot to hold onto as well as I always enjoy a bit of fantasy more than modern day real live shows. On top of that, add some devastating backstory and top-notch character development for Park Bong-pal, and a badass, slightly violent, sassy characterization of Kim Hyun-ji. This show will simply leave you with a huge smile on your face, despite being made for people who enjoy tragedy as well.

SUMMARY

- Favorite characters:

- Negative: subplots sometimes take the focus, a familiar story, stereotypical portrayal of ghosts (yes, ahre, i said it), no real plot twists (which can be a good thing, too, since the show rather simply unfolds each part of the story over the course of its run)

- Positive: the two leading actors, their incredibly shippable couple, a happy ending. If I was going to recommend a light-hearted, happy kdrama that has some tragic parts but ends happily and isn’t that hard to follow, I’ll recommend you this one.

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4) The Tale of Nok-du. Rating: 4,6 / 5 stars - strongly recommend.

- If you ever are in search for an unproblematic dummy as protagonist, watch this show. He’s a dummy you just have to love. You laugh about him, you laugh with him, you cry for him. He’s a puppy, you cry with him. And the best thing is, this puppy falls in love with a girl who can be quite rude and annoyed, but he always makes her smile and genuinely is attentive to her. The most frustrating thing about both of them is that each of them keeps a secret they cannot tell each other because they refuse to hurt each other - and this almost leads to tragedy. Better even, they’re portrayed by two very skillful actors. You’ll love them in the blink of an eye. And then there’s the cute second lead, portrayed by Kang Tae-oh. Yes, cute. Until he really isn’t. I’ve never seen an actor being able to turn around a character to 180° in no time. Some talent that is. And now let’s just say - the plot is nice. It is not the most complex one, but it is interesting to follow and you are always eager to find out new information to collect and put the pieces together. If you are searching for a show that is simply entertaining and nice to watch and featrures a great cast and nice characters and ranges from comedy to tragedy, this is your pick.

SUMMARY

- Favorite characters:

- Negative: the narrative change in the middle of the show that shifted the focus away from women to men (even though it made sense within the story, it was still a very sudden and harsh change, especially if you consider that these women were mostly slaughtered to death)

- Positive: CAST (specifically the three mains are just beyond amazing); an innocent, pure, absolutely adorable protagonizing couple that will steal your heart; feminism; male protagonist being a feminist who ends up working with badass women for his entire lifetime; directing; narration practices - this show is the one that draws the line between the ones i discussed above and the really great ones because it is the first on the list to be capable of telling a story by constantly keeping your nerves up while also not overstimulating the viewer with too much information at once. Only the other 3 shows which will follow now were able to do the same - and it’s what makes people watch or quit, and that’s why it’s so important: constant plot development, no unnecessary side plots, and handing your audience enough information to make them keep watching but not enough to guess the entire plot yet. The Tale of Nok-du was able to do exactly that and I honestly enjoyed the ride.

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3) W - Two Worlds. Rating: 4,8 / 5 stars - strongly recommend, must watch.

- I’d like to point out first that my top 3 are interchangeable. I sometimes tend to change my mind which one of the three I adore the most, and W is definitely in those top 3. Firstly, I’d like to let you know that W was my first Kdrama watch. And it blew me away. I was in awe with Lee Jong-suk, with Han Hyo-joo, with the narration of this drama, with the plot, with the direction, with the leading couple, the cast, THE DIALOGUE. Everything about this drama was excellently executed. The slow-moving narration in episode 1, the extra long scene of Chul holding the writer at gunpoint, the writer ‘becoming’ the killer (which he has always been anyway), the philosophy behind it, the creativity. I was blown away by literally everything about this drama and I believe it to be one of the strongest dramas ever made. Furthermore, what I also really adored, is that you don’t need to necessarily be into the couple in order to enjoy this show anyway because the plot takes the spotlight - but since the couple is always involved in the main plot, you get to enjoy plot, dialogue and couple at once. An interesting thing that I want to note here is that a few weeks after finishing the show, I stumbled upon reddits criticizing Lee Tae-hwan for his acting in general. I don’t know if he just perfectly suited the role of Chul’s bodyguard in W, but I highkey enjoyed watching him in this drama.

SUMMARY

- Favorite characters:

- Negative: I would have adored if Yeon-joo took a more prominent role in the resolution of the story (last 2 episodes) since the ‘hero arc’ went all to Chul there. And another negative aspect is that the show lives from very strong dialogues throughout all episodes, all incredible, all amazing and then - the very last scene. The last words spoken on the show, as a voice-over of Chul and Yeon-joo, are rather dull compared to the rest of the show.

- Positive: narration device, leaving out information to fill us in later and blowing our minds away (PEOPLE, I THOUGHT CHUL DIED), complex main characters, complex plot, no unnecessary subplots, no unnecessary romantic drama, no unnecessary cheesiness, DIALOGUE, direction, the cast in general*.

*I tried Memories of the Alhambra, as I found out that the same people who also made W were in charge of that drama, and I have to admit that I was intensely let down, specifically by the casting. Hyun Bin was alright-ish (not very memorable though), but Park Shin-hye was unbearable for me after episode 3. I stopped watching. If the plot was as interesting as the one of W though, I would have kept watching. But seeing as nothing really happened in those first 3 eps other than the lead killing his old best friend and playing video games that appear to turn into reality, I felt like I was wasting my time.

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2) Extraordinary You. Rating: 5 / 5 stars - strongly recommend for hopeless romantics, people who suffer from second lead syndrome and people who like getting into philosophical debates.

- Extraordinary You was the second kdrama I ever watched. And. And. And. And I almost gave it up after episode one. It seemed somewhat ridiculous to me, way too fast-moving. I would regret my entire life if I had given it up right there and then. Because PEOPLE, IT IS SO GOOD. Not only does it feature a very healthy main couple, it leaves you emotionally devastated because there’s a backstory that you only get to know in the second half of the show but which influences your entire perception of the first half - and jeez, by the time I reached half of the show, I was yelling and screaming and crying my eyes out. You ever want to see a love so deep that it transcends consciousness and universes? A love so deep that time and space become mere nothings? That’s what you get in this show. And one of the best parts is that the ‘’’’’actual’’’’’ lead (in the ancient story within the show, not the story of the show) aka Baek Kyung* does NOT get the girl. But that doesn’t mean you won’t fricking suffer with him. Jeez, I bawled my eyes out for him, too. But Haru/Dan-oh, guys, they’re.... everything. Oh and all of that is nicely mixed up in a strong, complex plot that leaves nothing unexplained. Not everything is explained through words - the show is high on symbolism rather than dialogue - but everything makes sense. And the ending, oh that stupid ending. As beautiful as heartbreaking. Since the plot is put into a philosophical perspective throughout the show, the show also raises questions about existence and being. Yes, I yelled when Heidegger was mentioned. So not only do you get to see a beautiful, heartbreaking love story; adorable, complex characters; time-and-space-transcending friendships, you also get to laugh, cry and think about your own existence and your own place in this world. This show is a delight.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Negative: you will cry and cry and cry and then laugh and then cry and cry and cry. It’s really not fun. Emotionally devastating. No, but for real... I wished we had a more complex depiction of the female characters that aren’t Dan-oh (specifically Ju-da, Sae-mi and Su-hyang), and a bit less focus on the guys therefore (I love them all but I thought the girls could have gotten some screen time of theirs while I would have accepted Jinmichae, Do-hwa and Nam-ju to get a bit less)

- Positive: Honestly? EVerything. Directing, casting, characterization, narration, love story, friendships, everything.

- *Let me say something about Baek Kyung, portrayed by Lee Jae-wook. That character could have simply been an asshole. The set-up was there, the writer of the comic also made him that way. But Lee Jae-wook has portrayed this character with so much depth that it is impossible not to feel bad for him. His entire life stages (hahahaha, I’m so funny) are a tragic mess. The fact that he eventually realizes that who he is and who the writer made him are eventually indeed two different people after all - but that they both share being in love with Eun Dan-oh - is as important as it is devastating. Cause it makes you realize that he can finally move his life more freely with that knowledge - become a better person outside of the stages (only if given the chance by the writer though) - while also never finding a happy ending. Firstly, because happy endings don’t exist in their world anyway because endings - if happy or sad - are always endings to these characters’ existences and because it is glaringly obvious his happy ending would include having Dan-oh by his side also outside of the stages. That is denied to him and will always be denied to him. And as a viewer, you understand that and you want nothing else, but the fact that he doesn’t even appear in the new story, not getting a chance at a new life this time, just adds a tragic notion onto all of this that no one asked for. I’d like to thank Lee Jae-wook here for such an incredible portrayal. I started Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol because of him and, unfortunately, had stop watching after 2 episodes because Go A-ra is simply... a terrible actress. I can’t put it any other way. I’m looking forward to other dramas with him and the rest of the cast though. Extraordinary You definitely had a huge advantage already by having a quite young, but incredibly talented mass of actors and actresses.

____________________

*drumroll*

1) Hotel del Luna. Rating: 5 / 5 stars - strongly recommend, must watch.

- It wasn’t thaaaat surprising to me that I would love this show. It was rather.... obvious that this would happen because a fantasy show set in modern day with the involvement of other time eras and a badass, broken, strong female lead is simply my taste. What I did not expect was this to become my favorite tv show of all time. I don’t even know where to start. I guess Jang Man-wol is a good starting point. Because I live for such characters. Characters like hers are precisely of my taste (I had similar people to her before - Ámbar Smith from Argentina’s Soy Luna or Melody Paz from Argentina’s Casi Ángeles - and also after her - Seo Dan-ah from Korea’s Run On), but Jang Man-wol takes the no.1 spot in all tv characters ever. She’s so layered, so complex, so well-written. She’s not predictable, but she’s also not ever surprising. She comes across as one of the most relatable tv characters you could ever see because she isn’t just one thing. She’s very contrary, she can be soft and loving or harsh and ruthless, sometimes all at the same time. She can be forgiving, she can be arrogant, self-hating, self-loving, lazy, passionate, she is quite literally everything. And while in the show’s set-up she is punished for hundreds of years when other, much more problematic people were allowed to leave this world sooner than her, the narrative wants you to feel sorry for her. You see her flaws, you see she’s anything but perfect but it won’t make you conclude that her punishment was ever deserved. The more you get into this show, the more you will ache. Because you know that there is only one possible ending to the show - for her to finally find peace. And that... that can only be achieved if she finally is allowed to leave this world. And it hurts and pains because, obviously, there is a love story. A love story that goes back to when she was a child 1,300 years ago. A love story that reunites her with the guy who saved her these 1,300 years ago and who now finds her again, someone who makes her care about her life again. As deeper as you go into the show, the more you will cry, the more you will suffer. And you will feel conflicted. You will want her to get her revenge while you will want to protect her. You will want her to finally be able to leave this world, but you won’t want her to leave Chan-sung. You will want her to actually care about her own fate while you will also want her to make the mistakes that worsen everything. It is a beautiful character put into a story that mixes fantasy, comedy, tragedy, soulmates, life, death, revenge, a stunning cinematography and strong dialogues into one. And what you get is the probably best show ever made.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Negative: There is really only one minor thing I’d criticize. While all the chars are rather complex and all subplots and character arcs work within the main plot frame and round up the entire story perfectly, there is one subplot I personally got a bit tired of because it is definitely the most unconnected one to the main plot - this concerns the romance arc of yu-na and hyun-joong. I wasn’t hating it, but I just didn’t need it for this story.

- Positive: This show has everything. I told you above already all the things I like. On top of that, I’d like to add that it has a beautiful found family story arc, promotes wonderful messages, has gotten itself the most excellent leading actress with IU who just beautifully portrays Jang Man-wol in all her depth. The show leaves you with your heart aching while there will be a smile on your face. Emotional devastation is just how this show works.

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- Kdrama I'm currently watching: The Crowned Clown

- Kdramas I plan on watching soon: My Country - The New Age (watched 2 eps so far) | Signal (watched 1 ep so far) | Mr. Queen | Tale of the Nine Tailed | Moon Lovers

- Kdramas I abandoned because I didn’t get into them / disliked them: My First First Love | Goblin | Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol | Memories of the Alhambra

- If you have any suggestions for me based on my likes and dislikes, send them to me. I’m open to everything :)

#w two worlds #w two worlds apart #hotel del luna #extraordinary you #a love so beautiful #radio romance #romance is a bonus book #rookie historian goo hae ryung #the tale of nokdu #bring it on ghost #let's fight ghost #hey ghost let's fight #run on #mischa for ts #kdrama ratings

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cateringisalie · 3 years

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My list of bearable Binal Bantasy VII tags is thinning...

But seriously. Being skeptical of Tifa’s narration of past events is not without merit. By the time the Lifestream scene rolls around she has been through three comas and some grevious injuries. The Lifestream scene is as revelatory for her as it is for Cloud.

The new assertion she was in any way actually friends with Cloud is not only in conflict with the OG’s portrayal but counter to Cloud’s development, her development, the growth of their relationship as adults and why (in general) people have them stay together post game.

Its unnecessary, frustrating and further damaging Tifa’s character who is spinning off further from who she was.

That Tifa and Cloud were not actually childhood friends does not mean they do not have a relationship in FFVII. It does not mean they cannot be together. Tifa “falling in love” with Cloud at the water-tower does not for a second make their later relationship any more meaningful.

All this new ship information does is make the relationship have longer longevity than previously assumed. As if whichever relationship has lasted longer is betterer and stronger. As if this should automatically undercut any other relationship Cloud or Tifa can possibly experience.

(in fact - and darkly cynically - this feels a lot more like enforcing that Cloud/Tifa and Zack/Aerith operate in near exactly the same way. The pairs fall in love in record time (two years prior to the Nibelheim incident both times as far as I’m ware), the boys go missing and the girls never move on with their lives. I get the boys have gone missing without a shred of explanation or closure, but now for both of them people are willing to wipe out a quarter of their lives waiting. Teenagers are resilient you know? They will be inconsolable if this happened but they would bounce back a lot faster and cleaner than they would expect. The approval of the never moving on this is purely to keep the shipping uncomplicated. There can only be one pairing for Tifa, there can only be one pairing for Aerith. And if you think otherwise you’re wrong in canon. And who wants to write or read about a non-canon ship? Unless its yaoi/yuri in any case. I am so tired)

Childhood friends incidentally is not, however much some insist, a common trope of the series - unless you stretch it a fair amount and it encompasses a trivial number of the pairings. And none of the big ones (you know; Squall/Rinoa or Tidus/Yuna).

Could Tifa do with more backstory? Of course. Did Tifa’s mother deserve a name? Absolutely! But not like this. Not when Cloud helping round up cats in Remake is now tied to finding Tifa’s cat in a new authored backstory. This speaks again to the constant magpie-ing of existing imagery and moments from older parts of FFVII to feed the present. The retconning in of importance by changing the meaning of otherwise unimportant moments.

Tifa is not and never was under any obligation to like Cloud as a child. She did not bully him, but neither should she expected to involve him in anything she did. I understand the book has muddied this gloriously, but for what effect?

I mean, I know where the desperation to make Cloud and Tifa childhood friends stems from. I know why you want Cloud to have fallen in love with Tifa at like age 5 or something and for Tifa to fall in love with him at 13. And I rail against it all the time that its not necessary. Being first does not mean better.

Maybe I am old, cynical and exhausted, but I kind of like watching Cloud and Tifa grow closer in FFVII. I like watching Cloud and Aeris grow closer in FFVII. I like to experience these things where I can... experience them? I don’t like reading books which assert things in blunt statements that clarify exactly what the writer intended. I certainly don’t have the patience to wait for a later book to clarify what happened on-screen when I have drawn my own conclusions based on my preferences. Especially as this is all contributing to that continued sense that the OG is a smelly, badly designed embarrassment we would rather tiday away for the crime of being graphically inferior (never mind it was championed on its looks on release) and “goofy” (and apparently unable to run the gamut of emotions I remember from serious to comedy, to silly, to tragic, to pessimistic and quietly optimistic and moving).

I’m coming back to this point to stress it - I want to see the relationship growth. Remake gave me that for Aerith and Cloud even if the details aren’t to my taste. First meeting is awkward because hey, random stranger/Cloud is tired. Cloud gets involved and spends more time with Aerith. And the high-five thing is used as a clumsy/awkward/eh but clear metaphor for how their relationship develops over the course of their time together.

To the point that yes, it makes sense for Cloud to want to rescue her. Less sense for Elmyra and Tifa to be “Well they might not vivisect her” and then delay for two full chapters, but the whole thing flows.

And here’s where I get accused of being a fake fan: I don’t like how Cloud and Tifa’s relationship develops in Remake. Flirting. Tifa being mildly fazed by Cloud claiming its been five years. Scared when he almost kills Johnny. Maybe hurt depending on your resolution scene (hey podcast people! No Gold Saucer multiple dates because too expensive? How are there branched resolution scenes in Remake then?). But there isn’t growth. They seem to fit into each other’s lives without worry, bit of flirting, strange super-intense moments jammed into inappropriate sequences (the train roll, climbing the plate, Cloud remembering the promise unprompted, Tifa not actually engaged with Avalanche’s plans). There’s no sense anything has changed between them, the missed five years has done anything to them.

And I’m sure some would take this as proof of correctness. But... somehow Remake is better for realism despite a lot of new clumsy, but this relationship is not dinged for being implausible? No way does that five year gap not seriously impact any prior relationship to say nothing of developing from scratch.

See this was a neat thing about the OG; while Tifa seemed to have an edge over Aerith by knowing Cloud longer, he was in effect meeting them at the same point in his life and more or less starting from scratch with both. Both ships are valid, and even if Cloud is with Tifa come the end, it doesn’t mean he can’t have romantic feelings about both women.

Oh, but Nojima has changed his mind/always intended it this way. And? I can change my mind about liking what he’s written - and my patience and tolerance of Nojima has waned massively since 1997. To the point where his involvement invokes a pained groan from me.

Plus the hilarious attitude that this is from the same people who insisted “the OG will always be there, stop moaning about Remake”. Well guess what? I don’t like Remake and I don’t really want it around. The OG is better.

Yes, Tifa is under-served and sure, it could be clearer about shipping (but the apparent hostility to ambiguity and personal interpretation is deeply distressing. These things can mean something to you and don’t have to mean the same thing to everyone. Interpreting the romancs - again - not a competition).

BUT

I will take the OG version of Tifa where she believed in the cause, where she had friends (again, yes, the relationship between Tifa and the rest of Avalanche is not well depicted, but it was better than actively curtailing it), where she ran a bar THAT ACTUALLY OPENED AND SERVED CUSTOMERS, where she hated Shinra, where she didn’t know how to treat Cloud because she had only really talked to him once in her life and DESPITE THAT that they great closer and spent their last night before THE END OF THE WORLD together over the Remake.

Where Tifa is wary of Cloud for about 5 seconds, twice and then defaults to constant flirting. Where Cloud is near smothering Tifa every second they’re together and she doesn’t tell him to fuck off once. Where she’s allied with Avalanche but hates their methods (and the pacifists are in a shop around the corner and she is not with them because...?). Where she has some absurd contrived plot about medical bills and buying Seventh Heaven for Barret and Marlene.

Which would lead to a whole other rant titled “Marle is the Worst” but this has dragged on quite long enough.

But seriously; if you argue that we can’t hate Remake because OG is always there, then you have to stop applying Remake back to OG and using it as proof. Which is exactly why many people bemoaned the Remake at all. OG is one thing, Remake is another. I don’t care for the latter.

And I know if anyone does read all this it will be about the meanie Cleriths who diminish Tifa for no good reason. And yes, they are indeed acting in bad faith. But what makes you think for a second evidence will convince these people?

In particular, the argument has raged so long and always will because if people do not like a ship they will not accept it as canon (if they care about this as a factor) NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Literally. Look at Loki if you want the most recent example of this.

Canon is to many “what I want” and often does not tally with the general interpretation. And you know, if being “canon” or guessing right early wasn’t triumphed as such a vital thing, we might not get these really terrible and pointless arguments.

Canon is a prize but here’s the big secret: fandom - in general - does not care. FFVII is an excellent case example given Sefikura overwhelms the other ships (and I think AZGSC is close?). And that’s not canon. That’s not even in the ballpark of the Cloud/Tifa vs Cloud/Aerith arena (even give that the former is roughly twice the size of the latter, you already won, so please stop?). Canon is only important if you think its important - and you get some more official art of sequences you can gif. And maybe you get kissing/implied sex/marriage/kids, but most of all you get a smug sense of superiority. And the last is why I have no patience with this.

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fukurodaze · 3 years

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congrats, atari!! 💘 deserved definitely 😭💓 3 random facts about me: 1. i just suddenly laugh out loud (i'm alone) whenever i remember a funny memory,,, 2. i'm a sucker for romance; i never had a boyfriend but i usually give advice to my friends who do 🤸 3. i once got caught drawing during classes instead of reading the story the teacher assigned to us 😭 whoops ilysm! 💘

roo! i miss u :( thank you for sending this in <3 ahh this scenario is more description that action i hope that’s okayy

your new year’s kiss will be...

an avid listener

musing over your creative soul

always happy to see you - it’s the friends to lovers type beat

someone who thinks you are just. so cute.

akaashi keiji!

you could say that you and akaashi keiji have a bit of romantic history.

by that, you mean that you and akaashi have definitely written a ten-page coming-of-age romance manga in three weeks after midterms, and had it submitted to your local monthly shoujo romance magazine (you were very proud).

ever since then, you would always come to akaashi whenever you had any ideas you thought you wanted to pursue, or an original character you accidentally drew in class. eventually, those talks turned into texts, and those texts became a daily occurrence no longer being restricted to the topic of your creative endeavours.

it was interesting to hear about the volleyball team, as he liked to attach notes to your chats due to how often he’s open them; you were almost well acquainted with his teammates solely by text, knew some of the regimen on certain days, and even started drawing volleyball related things in class.

you and akaashi were friends.

yet, it occurred to you, as you plopped yourself down on the booth seat of a recently popular café downtown, that that wasn’t exactly the case.

here you are, all dressed up, heart beating quick, palms sweaty, in a place full of desserts and couples. it almost reminds you of your own manga, and how you hate to see it unfold in real life.

you look across you to find a boy - the same boy who told you the appearance of the neighbour’s dog in your oneshot was unnecessary - and it feels almost surreal. you wonder how you had gotten to this point, where a look into his eyes makes you want to clutch the fabric of your shirt when it used to be something so mundane.

you would be lying if you said he didn’t feel the same. hell - he was the one who suggested “trying to date” in the first place. if you hadn’t noticed his increasingly softening attitude towards you first, he might’ve even gotten rejected.

a waitress comes up to your table with your menus, and you give her a thankful smile.

you look across the table to find akaashi’s eyes not skimming through the menu in his hands, but to you, and you stir in your seat.

laying the menu flat on the table for the both of you to see, your hand hovers over one item. “one matcha parfait, please.”

“and make it jumbo-sized, if you may.” akaashi adds.

the waitress doesn’t hide her smirk as she repeats the order, and you’re left chuckling as she leaves.

“what?” akaashi asks, absentmindedly.

you giggle to yourself, shaking your head, clearly aware that the act of sharing a parfait was the ending of your manga.

right; he doesn’t just see drawings or story ideas when he sees you anymore. you’re no longer just a classmate, nor a friend.

because it’s different now.

send me 3 random facts about yourself + your favourite place in the world and i’ll tell you which haikyuu boy wants to be your new years’ kiss + a scenario between you two, if you want :)

#akaashi x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #akaashi fluff #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #haikyuu matchups #hq matchups #akaashi scenarios #haikyuu scenarios #atari's 300 + 400

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tardytothepardy · 3 years

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Fruits Basket - Vol. 18

The first part of this book was honestly pretty sweet, I was living for it. The second part of this book reminded me that Haru can kick ass if he wanted to, but for the most part he doesn't. The third part of this book reminded the characters that Tohru wants to help these people in their predicament, but she also wants to help one person in particular out of their predicament.

By the end of it, I kinda want Kureno to carry around a spray bottle and spritz water or vinegar at Akito every time he does something bad. Probably vinegar. It wouldn't do anything bad, but he'd be smelly.

So, the first part. It's mostly just with the Student Council, continuing the graduation ceremony stuff from the previous book (and no, Tohru and Co. are not graduating. I don't know why I thought they were), with some focus on Machi, Yuki, and Kakeru. How fun.

It starts with the one strict guy (I've never had to talk about him at all so I wasn't sure what his name was for a while, honestly. It turns out his name is Sakuragi Naohito. The more you know, I guess) lamenting about how graduation is near, which the rest of the group finds odd, because no one in the group is graduating this year. Then a couple girls show up at the door, saying that Machi knocked down some boxes of chalk, and generally made a mess. They also brought up some random (but very personal) rumor about Machi trying to kill her baby brother a while back, and surely that's why Machi is the way she is. Kakeru tells Yuki about it, from what he was told. It was said that Machi became jealous of her younger brother (who, according to Kakeru, had been decided to be the heir to the family's fortune) and tried to kill him. Afterwards, her parents decided that it would be best if she was removed from the house entirely, and ever since she had lived alone. Kakeru offered to take Yuki to Machi's place, to ask her herself, which Yuki didn't really agree to. Kakeru also mentioned, offhandedly (because he was just jumping from one topic to the next) that he once saw Machi, out in the snow, making footprints all over it. He had no idea why, but he said she seemed pretty intent on it.

So they arrived unannounced to Machi's place, which she did not appreciate whatsoever. She might have been fine with Kakeru showing up, but she was more flustered once she saw that Yuki was also there. (I wonder why,,, hmmm) While they were there, Kakeru was just being weird and put one of Machi's bras, all rolled up, in Yuki's hand. Why did he do that. Don't manhandle bras, dude. They're expensive. Anyway, once he got kicked out for that (they kinda started cleaning up Machi's room, and he was taking out the trash), Machi asked Yuki about the rumor, and if that was why they were here. Yuki didn't answer that, and instead asked Machi if she hated perfection. The answer is yes, she does, because of shit that her mom said and did to her.

Basically (and I feel like this was touched on a bit earlier), after Kakeru acted out and got tired of the family's bs, more pressure was put on Machi to behave, to do the best that she could, get the highest marks in school, have the perfect behavior, etc. She couldn't step out of line, otherwise she would be punished severely. Despite this, her mother would often talk about how boring she was, in front of Machi. This was especially the case after her younger brother was born, and her mother would talk about how glad she was for another heir to the family, because Machi was just so average, so dull. After one of these times, Machi actually confronted her mother, asking, "Why do you say that? I thought this was what you wanted me to be like?", to which her mom was like, "You say that like it's my fault. Well, maybe it is. Oh well."

That sense of "Oh well, onto the next one" was not the thing that Machi needed. She needed reassurance, that she wasn't just some blank, dull, empty person, who brings nothing new or interesting to anything or anyone. I think it's kinda here when she started tearing things apart: anything that was too neat or orderly just reminded her of that suffocating feeling, and she couldn't stand it.

It was then that Yuki praised her, basically, for all the hard work that she did, all that work, just to try and keep ahead. Clearly, this was not something she had ever experienced, because it caused her to break down, and she told him about what actually happened with her and her younger brother: she was just putting a blanket over him. She thought he was cold, and he could get sick. But when her parents saw her holding a blanket over him, they already had a bias against Machi, and were convinced that she was jealous, that she had ill intent. They wouldn't listen to what she said, they didn't care. She had shown a "sign" of something bad that easily fit into their narrative, and took that as a reason to take her away from her younger brother.

Yuki then offers that, if the snow gets thick enough, they can go outside and make footprints all over it, and, honestly? That's some cute ass shit. I love that kinda thing, really. That's romance: stomping around in the fresh snow. Who needs physical contact when you can stomp around on fall leaves? That's the real stuff, right there.

But Kakeru interrupts the scene (he was kinda lingering behind a wall, listening to most of this. I think he was there for the story about their younger brother), but I liked it. It was nice. That wasn't entirely where this section ended, however. There's still a little bit more, with Sakuragi, and why he was so bummed out about graduation.

The short answer is that a girl he likes is graduating. But she (I looked it up and her name is Motoko Minagawa) likes Yuki, who doesn't like her. And Sakuragi is kinda taking out his anger on Yuki, who is mostly just bummed out that so many girls are coming up to him and confessing their feelings, and he just has to turn them down. In the end, Yuki and Minagawa had a chat, things are fine. She told him how she felt about him but she wasn't expecting anything in return, and she said she wished for the best for him, which he was unnecessary. Later, Sakuragi kinda?? told Minagawa how he felt about her, but he mostly just gave her well wishes, and now he is less angry and uppity. How nice.

Moving onwards to the second chunk, Hiro's mom had a baby! Her name is Hinata, and she's not a Juunishi. It's great. Hiro's gonna do his damnedest to make sure that Hinata gets everything she needs, and probably try to protect her from the burning dumpster that is being a Sohma. (Really, it just doesn't seem to be that great.)

While that's going on, there's discussion of Izusu, where is she? People say that she's in the hospital, but they won't say which one, or where. She's not at Kagura's house, where she lives, and she hasn't shown up at school for ages. Kagura had to actually attend Izusu's graduation in her place. It's all very weird. People are started to ask around, but no one has the answers. Kagura's worried, Tohru's worried, Hiro's mom is worried, and at one point Yuki even went up to Haru and asked him if he'd heard anything about where Izusu was. Haru hadn't, but afterwards, he got on the search. On the way to the search, he ran into Hiro and Kisa. They all kinda knew what Haru was doing there, and that's when Hiro told Haru that the last time Izusu got really hurt, it was because Akito had pushed her off a second-story ledge. He then apologizes to Kisa, saying that it was his fault that Akito lashed out at her, and he wasn't allowed to anything about either incident. He then reveals that Izusu is trying to break the curse, and she did something, Akito found out, and that's why she was punished (along with Akito forcing her to break up with Haru).

Anyway, now Haru's pissed. He makes a beeline straight to Akito's room, and he's looking for some answers. He cuts to the point, asking, "Why'd you push Izusu out the window?" Akito denies it, of course, who'd own up to that? He says that Haru must have made that up, or heard wrong from someone, but Haru is not swayed. He's gonna get answers one way or another.

While all of this has been happening, Kureno had noticed that there was a person carrying a tray of food and wandering off to where people don't typically go. He followed her, and tracked her down to a dilapidated building, and he asked her what she was doing. She wouldn't say, but she give him the key to the building, saying that Izusu hadn't eaten in days, she was withering away. So Kureno found Izusu, her hair was hacked off (and Akito did it, it's not even speculation, there's a page where you see him doing it. Well, he's coming out of the room, scissors in hand, with these long clumps of hair trailing on the floor. He totally did it.), and took her to the hospital. So when Haru is questioning Akito, Kureno comes in and tells Haru that she's in the hospital, which is probably a good thing for Akito's sake. Haru is pissed. I haven't forgotten about the "black" Haru thing. The last time that came up, it also had to do with Izusu.

Haru asked Kureno where she was, and it's revealed that she was in the Cat's dungeon, essentially. (I think of it as a dungeon, personally) This totally sets off Haru, who asks if this was another attempt to kill Izusu, and Akito was basically like "So what if it was?" which was not the correct answer. There was no correct answer, at that point, but that one was the most wrong answer. All sorts of feelings were welling up in Haru, at this point, and all kinda gathered into one really nasty feeling: helplessness. He felt like, despite how much he loved Izusu, and how much he cared about her, it wasn't enough. He wasn't able to protect her from the shit that had happened. Fortunately for Akito, he only punched a hole in the wall, rather than Akito's face, but he then left the room. Kureno followed him, and said that he should try to get to the hospital, because he thought that Izusu wanted to see Haru, specifically because she had been saying Haru's name when Kureno had found her.

Later on, we are in the hazy mind of Izusu, who woke up in the hospital and is pretty disoriented. Last she was aware, she was in the Cat Room of Doom, not a hospital bed. She could remember that Kureno was there, that he carried her out. She was looking for him, especially after she saw him talking to Tohru, and when he left, Tohru was crying. She wanted to know what Kureno said to Tohru, and tried to track him down. Turns out that he's pretty elusive. But she did run into another person: Ren. She asked Ren if she knew of a way to break the curse, and Ren said that there was something of hers in Akito's room, a box, and that if she got that box back, she would,,, have it back. She didn't actually say that she would tell Izusu anything, but Izusu's desperate to break the curse. Unfortunately for that desperation, Akito found her, right in his room, holding the box. Akito threatened to hurt Haru, if Izusu tried to get out, but Izusu saw this as payment for her failure, she made absolutely no attempt to escape.

There's a little blip back to Ren and an old lady who reprimanded Kureno for even finding Izusu at all, and it turns out that Ren probably didn't know how to break the curse anyway. She didn't particularly like Izusu, so it wasn't a huge loss on her end. She just wanted to get that box back, for some reason, and was using Izusu to try to get it.

In this hazy dream-state, Izusu's just confused. She can't remember what actually happened, but she's kinda bummed out that she dreamt all of that, and Haru wasn't there. Then he popped up, conveniently. She apologizes to him, saying that she failed, her attempts to save him and break the curse were worthless (and she also thinks that she's worthless). "Dream" Haru says that she can't go off anymore, because he missed her, a lot, and if she went away again, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. She says that this is such a nice dream, but it's not a dream (as I'm sure you could tell with the quotation marks). Turns out, she's lying on the pavement, outside somewhere, and Haru found her. It's reminiscent to the other time that Haru found her lying barely conscious on the pavement, but this time he can pick her up and carry her home. He reassures her that she's not a burden, that she should take help when it's handed to her. In this case, she should let herself be carried when she can't walk.

It seems that Izusu is now staying at Kazuma's house, probably because Kazuma is so chill with that kind of stuff. Tohru was really glad to see Izusu again, which gave Izusu some conflicting feelings (mostly "agh stop don't care about me" but also "hey it's actually kinda nice to know that people care about me"). Tohru wasn't told why Izusu's hair got chopped off, or much about the situation. They ("they" being Yuki, Haru, and Kazuma. I suppose Izusu as well) didn't want Tohru worrying too much, she already was very concerned.

Later, Shigure came by Kazuma's house, to talk to Izusu about what happened, and basically confirmed that Ren was using her, and that she wouldn't know how to break the curse. He also said that he think Izusu should give the curse-breaking thing a rest, because the curse is starting to break itself without anyone doing anything (as we've seen with Kureno). Izusu doesn't believe him, but he doesn't say anything more about it. He just says that, probably in a couple years, it'll be broken, and no one will have to do anything. Then Tohru arrives (who was coming over to see Izusu, and even had a gift for her), and says that that's not good enough, that the curse has to be broken before next spring, before their graduation. This shit has an ever-increasing importance to Tohru. She hates the way that Kyo talks about it, like he's already come to terms with what will happen. Tohru will not stand for it for a single second, and she'll probably do her damnedest (hey look i used that word again) to break the curse before then.

(Also this is kinda, I think, when Izusu and Shigure are kinda like, "Whoa, she really cares about Kyo, huh? Hm, surely there isn't any deeper relationship there, right? Hmmmmm"

#Oh wow it didn't take as long to write this one #Only around a day #And it isn't as long which is also nice #I was reading through one I wrote almost a month ago and holy crap #It's empty #I suppose that's why I make these so long #It's so that I can look back and read through these and still mostly understand what I was saying #Vagueness is not my thing if I can help it #Anyway I'm totally a fan of Machi and Yuki getting closer #For some reason I always adhere onto romances that aren't really the main focus #Like with spop I didn't care about catradora and instead became a huge fan of entrapdak #Idk why they just appeal to me more #Maybe because there's less drama or high stakes?#No that isn't true #Idk #anyway #tohru honda #yuki sohma #kyo sohma #hiro sohma #hinata sohma #kisa sohma #izusu sohma #hatsuharu sohma #shigure sohma #akito sohma #kureno sohma #machi kuragi #kakeru kuragi #naohito sakuragi

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laceymorganwrites · 4 years

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Fluff Alphabet: Kidd

A=Affection

Kidd´s affectionate in his own way, he´ll boast About his Partner in public and have an arm around you, but in private he can be more intimate with you, resulting in him giving you all the affection, this depends on his mood though.

B=Breath

Stand up for him. Sure, you can wear nice Things and fight good, but the second you defend him and are Ready to fight for his sake, that´s really what takes his breath away, it´s just so unusual for him and he cherishes that the most.

C=Cuddle

When you´re in private he absolutely loves to cuddle! In a constant cuddle mood. If he had a bad day, he´ll just wrap his arms around you from behind and groan as he Rests his head on the space between your shoulder and neck. He´ll pout and try to get you away from whatever you were doing to drag you to bed so that he can have his arms around you and rest his head on your chest, this is is favorite cuddle Position and he just feels so safe and warm like this, it relaxes him immensely. And when he´s happy he wants to cuddle you too, also loves it when you initiate cuddles.

D=Dream

This may Sound out of character but he wants to settle down with his S/O sometime. After all the crazy chaos and danger he´s been through, he wants to Focus on his S/O when it´s all over. Before that he wants to go on adventures with his Partner though and appear in the newspaper with them, reading About the pirate couple that they are would make him really happy.

E=Effort

It really depends. Kidd´s been in a lot of relationships and they all were short Lasting. Sometimes Kidd goes over the top with the effort and the relationship still Ends and sometimes he doesn´t give any effort whatsoever. With a Special S/O though it´ll go a bit like this: medium effort in Dating, even less effort at the start of the relationship, then the longer they´re together the effort will rise as he doesn´t want to lose his Partner, so they´ll have to be Patient.

F=Fear

Depening on the Level of scared, Kidd will either tease them or protect them. If it´s something silly like Spiders or something, he´ll tease them mercilessly, if it´s something like heights, he will guide his S/O through it and protects them and if it´s a phobia he also tries his best to be supportive and help.

G=Gifts

Kidd doesn´t give Gifts on Purpose and he would never buy one, he just thinks those couples who constantly buy each other stuff are stupid and don´t love each other. So he doesn´t want you to buy him stuff as an empty gesture, if you buy him scrap metal or some strings for his guitar however he wouldn´t be mad since it Shows that you care and listen, he likes thoughtful Gifts. Kidd´s more on the gift giving side though, he spends unhealthy amounts awake and tinkering, writing and drawing some stuff. Most of it is because you´re his muse and he Gifts you those Things (he also writes Songs for you).

H=Hugs

Literally hugs you all the time, doesn´t care if you´re in public or not, you´re his and he Shows it. Blushes so hard when you come up and hug him though. In private the hugs are of Course a bit more intimate and Long Lasting.

I=Intimacy

Kidd certainly is more intimate with his longterm Partner than with anyone else, but that doesn´t mean he was from the beginning. It took a Long time for him to open up and let another Person in, so the thought of intimacy wasn´t there in the beginnin of the relationship, only after a bond of trust was built. Kidd likes to be intimate with you, it makes him feel Special and he likes showing you how much he loves you. But he´s not good at words, or romance, but he really tries his best in his own way.

J=Jealous

Kidd is in a constant state of jealousy as he is insecure and hates himself and is used to betrayal. He´s asking himself every day why his Partner is still with him when they could do so much better. He´s good at hiding his jealousy, but when something happens that causes his jealousy to get more intense, like someone openly flirting with you or touching you, he gets overprotective and mad. He will beat up the Person and pull you close to him. Needs a lot of reassurance.

K=Kiss

Kidd´s a good kisser, though he might not seem like it. Sure they are Rough, but not to an uncomfortable Level. He likes to kiss you on your temple. When you make out he starts with teasing kisses, barely touching your lips. Kidd likes it when you take initiative and kiss back eagerly, especially when you make out he likes it when you guide him to kiss you the way you like it. Is a sucker for kisses on the cheek, will blush every time you do it. Also likes to kiss you on your shoulders and likes to receive Hand kisses.

L=Love

He will say it only after an agonizingly Long time since he is scared of rejection and doesn´t want you to leave him. Kidd falls in love at first sight, but he knows it´s stupid to say those words early on, that´s why he waits and because he wants to be sure he means them, that the Feeling stays. Kidd doesn´t say it too often since he wants the words to be Special, only really says them before leaving for a big journey, after and before a big fight with enemies. So he definitely prefers to Show it, though he´s not the best at it.

M=Marriage

Hell no. Kidd thinks marriages are stupid, most married People get divorced anyway and it´s just a lot of wasted Money and time. If you want to stay together then just do it, don´t make a big fuss About it, those are his thoughts. He also doesn´t like the Exploitation aspect of marriage, if the love in a relationship is lost you are still forced to be with your Partner, the marriages Kidd knows that lasted were all unhappy.

N=Night out

He likes to take you out on concerts, his ship or a bar where he´s well known, anywhere he can Show off and impress you. Kidd loves taking you out on Dates because you Always make such an effort for him and he for you, he likes Dressing up nice for you and spending time with you more intimately than just the normal time you spend together. He likes it even more when you ask him out, those Dates mostly resolve in Eating somewhere and then going to your favorite place to watch the stars, which to Kidd is peaceful and Relaxing. He loves hugging you from behind and having you in his arms whenever you do. You don´t have much time for Dates but whenever you do you make sure to go out.

O=Out of the ordinary

Well in his past relationships he did everything for his Partners even if it made him uncomfortable, but with you he feels comfortable sharing his Limits and the Things he doesn´t want to do. He wouldn´t Change his appearance or the way he talks for his S/O, if he would he´d be Living a lie, and if his S/O want someone that´s not like him, they should just leave.

P=Playful

He´s not really playful, but he does fuck with his S/O in the way that he sometimes misplaces their Things and Acts as if he doesn´t know what´s going on when they desperately try to find it. Kidd doesn´t know why, but he just thinks it´s cute to see you rummaging through your place, groaning and frustrated. In the end you Always have to ask him to help you find the object and that´s when he smugly ´finds´ it.

Q=Questions

Kidd likes to have meaningful and serious conversations, especially About the world Government, of Course he wants to hear your view on it too. But he also asks you About your opinion in the simplest Things on a daily Basis, such as if his Shirt or nail polish Looks good, if you think he should get this lipstick he saw, etc. He just values your voice so much and it´s Always better to have more than just one opinion to make decisions rationally. On the other Hand Kidd doesn´t really like sharing his opinion in those trivial matters since he thinks it´s unnecessary. If you ask him however he will tell you. If it´s About Things with more weight to him, he will not hesitate to speak up About it.

R=Random

It´s Eustass Kidd. Of Course it´s spontaneous, everything the man does, he wings, it´s the same with your relationship. Be it Dates or whatever, he doesn´t bother with plans, he knows what he likes and what you like so that´s what he goes off on. If it´s About activities Kidd can Change his mind quick since he can´t just do one Thing for a really Long time, he has to have some diversity in his activities, he has to Keep himself busy. You have to adapt to those changes, but that´s quite easy once you get the hang of it. Kidd doesn´t have a Problem with you planning Things though because you have his mood swings and such in mind and Always come up with something good. He actually really likes the Things you plan and Always gets excited because he likes surprises with you.

S=Sleep

You have to be someone really Special to get Kidd to Sleep in a bed with you, or to Sleep at all. Kidd doesn´t Sleep until he absolutely has to, never goes to Sleep voluntarily, just passes out. The only times he actually goes to Sleep are when he´s being depressed or drank too much. Usually he will fall asleep on his working table, working on some scrap metal. You put a blanket around him. Bed sharing only happens after sex with him, and only with you, because only with you he´s comfortable with letting his guard down and actually sleeping. There´s something comforting in the way you´ll be there when you wake up. Kidd has a very light Sleep and is easly woken up, otherwise he´ll lay on his side and be dead quiet. You Always aks yourself how he manages not to move in his Sleep.

T=Trust

Trust is a very delicate matter with him. Kidd has never trusted anyone, despite Killer. Killer is the only Person he fully Trusts. Kidd is weary of everyone, he Always thinks the worst of People and that they will eventually backstab and betray him, it´s what his experience has shown him. The world he lives in is too cruel to trust, everyone is selfish, that´s what he´s learned from a Young age. So naturally it takes him a Long ass time to even come close to trusting you. There will Always be that Little part inside of him that tells him he shouldn´t trust you, he will never trust you as much as he Trusts Killer, but he Trusts you more than others, way more.

U=Unique

I mean he is a very unique personality already but besides the overprotection and possesiveness as well as his way of affection what I think takes the cake for what makes him unique as a S/O is that he is his S/O´s biggest fan. No matter what you do, it can be as simple as cooking something, he will be there to cheer you on, telling you you´re doing amazing and are the best. Turns all your Hobbies into Competitions somehow, Kidd supports them all wholeheartedly but he´s just going off About how you´re kicking everyone else´s ass in your Hobbies. Kidd is very interested in you, your Hobbies, interests, likes and dislikes. He will share your excitement and voice it louder than you, it´s his way of showing he cares and it´s really sweet. He´s too attentive to put it in a nutshell.

V=Vulnerable

Kidd is never fully vulnerable with his S/O, he doesn´t know how to be. The only Person who sees him in this state is Killer. However when he has a bad breakdown or something else happened that made him snap and be vulnerable, he will come to you for comfort, it´s only the way to the breakdown you don´t see. Kidd hates crying so he tries to reppress it, which Ends up in him forgetting to breathe and having a Panic attack. When he has a depressive Episode he will hurl up in bed all day/week, however Long it takes and won´t talk to anyone, he won´t let anyone close. But whenever you come by he tugs at your clothes and so you join him and cuddle up to him. It helps him a lot knowing you´re there for him, physical contact from you also calms him down a lot.

W=Wildcard

Takes a lot of Pictures and collects them in photo Albums. He has one with Killer, one with you and one with his Crew. He´s currently working on one with couple Pictures and one with Group Pictures. He also has one from his band and wants to get one with his Idols and Friends (if he finds some). Whenever he´s Feeling down or is having a bad day he likes to look at them to remember good times, it Always makes him smile. He will call Killer and you to look at the Pictures with him and you three end up reminisceing and sharing stories.

X=X-Ray

If you happen to get injured on his watch hell is About to break loose and god help the poor bastard who dared lay a Hand on his S/O. Needless to say if you got injured by another Person they´re dead now. If he wasn´t there though and only finds you injured or if you injured yourself at home he will rush you to the nearest Hospital or doctor (even if it´s something minor).

Y=Yuck

Well, everything About this man is a giant pet peeve and red flag, so pick your Poison. Be it his mood swings that tick you off or the way he´s so handsy with you, his stubborness… there are more than enough Things to get annoyed by. For Kidd however he doesn´t like it when your Makeup is cakey (if you do Makeup anyway), it´s stupid but it just gets on his nerves, and he can get really annoyed if you have a certain Phrase or word you tend to overuse and say a lot.

Z=Zeal

Kidd isn´t overly passionate but he certainly is in some ways, for example he is passionate About your Hobbies and the way you look. He likes it when his S/O is passionate too, especially About the same Things he is.

#one piece #one piece imagine #one piece headcanons #one piece hcs #one piece kid #one piece kidd #kid x reader #kidd x reader #eustass kid #eustass kidd #op #op imagine #op headcanons #op hcs #op kid #op kidd

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newsnerd-ooc · 4 years

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Miss Rommel

The Basics ––– –

Name: Latilda Anne Rommel

Nickname(s): Miss Rommel, Lat, Tilly, BITCH!

Age: 29

Birthday: Late February

Race: Human, Gilnean

Gender: female

Marital Status: Single

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Bright Blonde, typically pulled into a ponytail with bangs hanging out

Eyes: Light blue

Height: 5′10″

Build: Athletic, Beaten up

Distinguishing Marks: Bandages wrapped around forearms, slight scarring around the torso

Tattoos: Non-existent

Piercings: occasional rings in ears

Common Accessories: Hidden weapons, a knapsack, notebook, pen

Personal Information––– –

Profession: Former Intelligence Operative, Adventurer, Ex-journalist

Hobbies: Writing, reading, sparring, Parkour, Hearthstone, Titanic Engineering, exploration, philanthropy

Languages: Common, Orcish, Select Thalassian, shitty Darnassian, Titanic/Arcanic dialects

Residence: Stormwind, w/ friends

Birthplace: Gilneas City

Religion: Titans/Fates

Patron Deity: Fates

Fears: Being the cause of another person’s death, Imprisonment, Losing control

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: NA

Children: also NA

Parents: Both Deceased

Siblings: Laken, Deceased

Other Relatives: Casyril, Cousin (Deceased) Morwenna, great-aunt (Voidic being)

Pets: Gartona, magical cat being who occasionally pops into existence

Sex & Romance ––– -

Sexual Orientation: asexual demiromantic

Preferred Emotional Role: submissive | dominant | switch

Preferred Sexual Role: submissive | dominant | switch

Libido: Low to moderate

Turn ons: Intelligence, Wit, Athleticism

Turn offs: Dark magic users, causing unnecessary pain, having no sense of humor, just wanting sex

Love Language: Humor, time spent on important tasks. No random picnics for her!

Relationship Tendencies: Random, unaware, often occurs out of the blue

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: Non-existent

Drugs: Only painkillers after getting shot in the leg for the seventh time this month.

Alcohol: A social drinker most of the time

RP Hooks ––– –

Rogue-on-hand: Latilda is at her core a rogue. She’s a sneaky fighter who uses tricks, fakeouts and combat maneuvers to help in combat. Whether it is sneaking about on a roof or causing a scene, she’s ready to help. She’s also an individual who desires to be helpful in some fashion to those she respects, or just those who are in need. Sometimes that means beating up a bully brigand. Sometimes that means disabling world-ending superweapons. It depends on the week.

Former lives: Latilda is known to most by her old life. Some knew her during her short period working under SI:7 as an agent (she went by Oracle for a time.) More likely, she is known for her work as a journalist/Editor-In-Chief for @the-royal-courier. Some may hate her for revealing secrets, others may appreciate the good she caused. Up to you. But she has YEARS of history to go off of, as well as an odd period where the world thought she was dead. Was she really? Well. ;3 That’s spoilers.

Oddity: Latilda often exudes an aura that is simply odd. In what way? Well, she isn’t a typical magic user, yet she often performs feats and tricks that are not typical. She also knows or sees things that might not be obviously clear, or speaks in garbled words when she wants to. She also has appeared recently in garb covered in machines beyond the typical constructive capabilities of most men. Who or what is she involved in?

Titanic Machinations: Latilda has recently taken up the practice of studying Titanic machines and replicating them. Not that she’s an expert. But if there’s titan tech involved, she has quite a bit of interest.

HOW TO CONTACT:

Typically, you can find me on Moon Guard or WRA as Latilda, if I’m on. However, schedule issues with school often mean that I am not always on. I’m always happy to talk here on Tumblr, although I am also good to do RP on Discord if you prefer that.

(Profile format stolen from @unabashedrebel. It needed an update)

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blackheartheroine · 4 years

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Okay. So. Well. I saw The Rise of Skywalker. And I did kinda like it, which is pretty amazing in itself because The Last Jedi sucked balls. But. I did have some fundamental problems with it. So SPOILER ALERT, don't read if you don't wanna know what happens in the film.

The biggest issue I have is that throughout the whole trilogy, both Poe and Rey have seriously lacked charisma, and while they managed to scramble through the first two movies without it being such a problem, it is a problem in this movie. They're just not leaders, they don't capture the same sort of essence that Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan and Padme, for example, did. They lack that something that makes them capable to really lead in a believable manner. Finn was the one holding the torch for that, and at least he kept growing into that role until the end, and nailed it. He always had a solid reason for what he did, a purpose. Kinda like Anakin had a reason, and Luke. Poe and Rey sort of happen to be there, and even Rey's background takes ages to come forth.

The next issue I have is the character of Rey. She can be the granddaughter of Palpatine all she wants, but it doesn't explain her instant abilities with the Force. She's kicked Kylo Ren's ass from the beginning and that makes no sense. After all, Kylo's grandfather was actually born FROM the Force, so all things considered, his bloodline should have more juice in it. Palpatine might be the big evil with insane forces but he's just a guy who HAD the Force, while Anakin WAS the Force. So Rey being instantly able to defeat Kylo up to a point makes no sense. Kylo's had years of training both from the jedi and the sith and this girl just shows up, sees a lightsaber and kicks his ass? Yeah, I don't think so. She might have inherited the aptitude for the Force from Palpatine, but hellooooo, Kylo inherited the actual, pure Force. Who believed that he'd suck this bad against a random nobody? And yeah yeah, they were connected in the Force, Rey learned his abilities through that link and blah blah. It still makes no sense, because she's still just a girl. A girl who has the Force, sure, but who is not actually partly OF the Force. So no. Nononono no.

And I have a problem with how it ends, Rey declaring herself as Rey Skywalker. Lady, no. You're not a Skywalker, you're a Palpatine. Own up to it and change it. Did Luke shy away from his name after learning he got it from Vader? No. He changed the definition of the name, to be the light of the galaxy instead of Vader's legacy. It would've been way cooler for Rey to keep the name, and make it her own. Then again, I also believe that Rey should have died instead of Kylo. Kylo naming himself as Ben Skywalker would have been justified, he was of that bloodline and would've been a perfect heir to the name, to continue to line and to keep the jedi alive. Instead we're left with some untrained wannabe Skywalker.

And why, WHY, did they have to make Kylo Ren such a wuss from the beginning? He was so damn cool when he slaughtered the Knights of Ren in the end (not to mention kinda hot!) because he finally grew a pair. There were times when he was sure of what he was doing, and in those moments the whole character had more depth and was more believable. The parts where he just whines undecided did not do justice to the character. And yet even with the constant messing around, he's got a truckload of more charisma than the new leaders of the Rebellion. Why did they choose not to enforce that charisma with better character growth is a mystery. Still, Kylo's one of the big plusses in this movie, despite him ending himself to rescue Rey which is just stupid.

And then! What the fuck is up with Rey going to Tatooine to bury the lightsabers? She's got absolutely bo connection to that planet. It's the place where the darkness began to take over Anakin when he couldn't save his mother, it's the place where Luke was miserable, and how could she possibly know all that? Evidently her going there has something to do with Luke, since we see Luke and Leia watching over her. But Luke never wanted to go back there, so why would he be happy about his lightsaber being buried there? Makes absolutely no sense.

And then there's the whole Reylo thing, and boy do I hate that expression btw! But yeah. Throughout the trilogy, it's obvious that Kylo's got a thing for Rey. But all Rey seems to have is a thing for turning him away from the Dark Side. It feels like she doesn't really give a flying fuck about Kylo, just wants to prove that she can turn him. And then Ben goes and gives his life for this girl, who doesn't seem to care about him at all. Real romance there.. Also, I believe we already learned that the jedi are better off alone, when Anakin went nuts and slaughtered half of the galaxy. It's like one of the goddamn rules for the jedi, to not get romantically attached, and yet this is exactly what was done. Why? There was absolutely no need for it, especially when it just seems onesided anyway. So yeah, fuck the wholw Reylo thing. They would've been a better pair without any unnecessary romantic crap forced upon them.

But a big ol' yay for Palpatine, all hail the Emperor! He was even creepier than before, and even more evil, and I LOVED that! Also, it answered the one big question I had after the OT: how on earth did Palpatine die so easily in the end? Daa, he didn't! He came back bigger and badder, and how is that not cool! Also a big bonus for getting Lando back, and I was so damn happy to see Han Solo because come on, Han Solo is the king!

In the end, it was a better movie than I expected, and visually it was done really well! Yeah, the aforementioned problems make it less good, but it's still a Star Wars movie for sure. Mostly due to Leia, Luke, the Emperor, Kylo and Finn, but still. I'm definitely gonna want to watch it again!

Oh, and I almost forgot! HOW THE HELL DID PALPATINE EVER GET LAID?! That's the real question here!

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #kylo ren #fuck the whole reylo bullshit

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sage-nebula · 5 years

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The Dragon Prince = 1x01 “Echoes of Thunder”

I’ve decided to rewatch the first season of The Dragon Prince in lead up to the second, watching one episode per day until it’s time to start season two. I’m a bit behind since technically it’s Thursday morning, but it’s only been Thursday morning for two hours, so I think I can still get away with it.

Thoughts, observations, and analyses beneath the cut.

--- Let’s just get this out of the way right now: Dark magic is horrible, loathsome, evil, and completely unnecessary.

I’ve seen quite a bit of discourse over the story we’re presented with in the opening narration, mostly because so many people seem to empathize totally with the humans and view the elves and dragons (because yes, it was the elves and the dragons) banishing humans from Xadia to be unforgivable. While I agree that banishing all the humans as they did was wrong (there’s a reason why that scene was meant to invoke the image of the Trail of Tears according the creators), I can still understand why they chose to do what they did.

The thing is, as I said before, there is no excuse for dark magic, it is completely unnecessary. I’ve seen some people say that it was necessary because humans are unable to use magic naturally, but here’s the thing: humans don’t NEED to use magic. Claiming that their inability to use magic is a “disability” is a complete fallacy. A disability is something that limits a person’s physical or mental capabilities. Not being able to use magic does neither. As we see, Claudia uses dark magic for everything from lighting candles to making pancakes. She could do both things without the use of dark magic (and therefore without killing magical creatures), but she chooses not to. Why? Because dark magic is convenient. Because it’s fun. And we know that Claudia is not alone in this. According to the website, humans POACHED magical beings to use for dark magic. As we know from real life, poaching can and often does lead to extinction of different species. And what then, hm? What happens then? When one species dies off, human poaches would move on to the next, and the next, and the next. If you think that they would stop at only those creatures that don’t seem to have sapience, you’re wrong. As we see with how both Claudia and Viren regard the elves---as we see from what they do to Runaan, where they choose to chain him up and torture him instead of giving him a quick and merciful death like Soren was going to---we know that they wouldn’t. (And it’s not even just Runaan; Claudia views Azymondias’ egg as a thing, as a weapon. They don’t view magical beings, no matter how sapient, as people.)

Building on that, it’s implied that the original mage and those who followed in his footsteps used dark magic to actively do something horrible. Aaravos says that they gathered the lives of magical creatures to “unleash dark power,” and right after we see the original mage unleash a torrent of fire from his palm. This implies destruction, which in turn implies death, which in turn explains why the elves and the dragons were “horrified by what they saw.” We don’t know precisely what happened, but between the poaching and the stated dark power it can be inferred that it was something horrible. And in the interest of protecting their people (because it seems that the dragon king is the monarch over all of Xadia), they banished the humans as a result, not trusting any of them after what the dark magic poachers did.

Now, again: Banishing all the humans as they did wasn’t right, especially since I believe it has been stated that the journey was extremely harsh and that there were humans who died making the trip. Again, the initial scene was to invoke the Trail of Tears. But just because banishing the humans as they did wasn’t right doesn’t mean the humans are excused. Dark magic is wrong. Dark magic is evil, and vile, and inexcusable. It’s not like eating meat, wherein that is done because humans need to eat to survive. It’s killing for the sake of convenience, or even war. It’s killing so you can kill even more, as seen by how dark magic was used to slay Thunder. It’s not acceptable, and trying to make excuses for it just so you can paint the elves as the “bad guys” because you’re desperate for this to be a black and white narrative when it isn’t is honestly really disappointing.

--- Moving on from that, I like that we see that Callum has an affinity for dragons right away. It’s telling that the picture we see him drawing in his very first scene is one of a dragon, and that the dragon isn’t being slain, but rather, is doing the slaying:

Moreover, he places himself in the dragon’s shoes by saying, “Take that, marshmallow monster!” as he draws. Aside from being interesting that he gives his dragon a high-pitched voice before he growls, it’s notable that he’s having the dragon kill a monster, that he sees himself as the dragon, and that one could even say the dragon is being heroic here. Callum is shown to have an affinity or fondness for dragons from the get-go, which is interesting if you consider the running theory right now that Thunder had a hand (or claw) in Sarai’s death, accidental or otherwise.

--- Viren covers up the mirror before he allows Marcos to enter his chamber to tell him about the moonshadow elves. We know that Claudia knows about the mirror, but Viren covering the mirror before allowing Marcos to enter implies that it’s a secret well-guarded. Much like the true fate of Azymondias’ egg, is this something that even Harrow doesn’t know about? Is Viren keeping it a secret from everyone aside from Claudia? And while I could understand fitting the egg under his cloak, how on earth did he abscond with an entire MIRROR from the dragon king’s quarters without anyone noticing if it really is a secret?

--- Aside from the “didn’t I tell you I’d have you executed” bit, we know that Viren waking Harrow up like this has happened before because Harrow knows it’s Viren before he even looks at him:

It’s a very subtle and easy to miss detail, but it’s there and I love it.

--- Harrow wants to send for Amaya first thing, but Viren shoots him down. Viren’s excuse for not calling for Amaya is that the breach is too far away and she’ll never make it in time, but she made it to the Banther Lodge quickly enough. That said, it is true that the Banther Lodge is closer to the breach than the castle . . . in any case, whether Viren was bullshitting an excuse to keep Amaya away or not, this could easily be a foreshadow to their future (bad) relationship.

--- The only moonshadow elf that talks to Rayla at all throughout the first episode is Runaan. It’s true that Runaan is the leader, the only named elf other than Rayla, as well as the one who raised her, and so it makes sense that he would be the one to talk to her. However, Rayla doesn’t seem particularly comfortable around the others, we know she’s the youngest of the lot, and this serves to really give a feeling of isolation for her among the other moonshadow elves. I’m going to make an independent post about this later once I get to the relevant episode in my rewatch, but I have a strong theory that Rayla has never had friends her own age before meeting Callum and Ezran (Ezran’s a bit younger, true, but still), and this is part of what makes me think that.

--- I always assumed that Ezran was stealing from the castle baker, but the “[the jelly tarts] are not for you!” line makes me think otherwise. If that’s just a random baker in the city, that’s not cool of Ezran to be stealing from him. I hope that’s not the case. (But that same baker is shown feeding Bait a jelly tart in the end credits illustration with a hush finger over his lips as if it’s their secret, so I don’t think he really hates feeding them snacks.)

--- It’s interesting that the very first impression we get of Soren is that of a hyper-competent, serious, and exasperated sword instructor. Soren is, as we all know, a goofball, but when he’s training Callum he’s extremely focused and extremely smart. While he may not have academic brilliance, it’s clear that he’s not stupid, particularly not in his area of expertise. I really like that his character is multi-faceted like this, but even more so I’m fascinated that Wonderstorm wanted to make sure that the first impression we had of Soren as a character is that he’s a skilled swordsman who knows what he’s talking about and what he’s doing.

--- On the other hand, the fact that he keeps hammering on about being a “step-prince” needs to end. It’s the one thing that makes me dislike Soren. I still don’t hate him, but goddamn if that’s not his least likable quality, particularly from someone who has more step-relatives than blood relatives at this point.

--- Callum saying “your sister” when talking to Soren about Claudia was probably more for us, the audience, but could also infer things about Callum and Claudia’s relationship. Callum pointing out that Claudia and Soren were siblings was probably so that we, as audience members, would know Soren and Claudia’s relationship right away, particularly since they don’t really look alike. However, Callum saying “your sister” could also imply that Callum is closer to Soren than Claudia, which would make sense since Soren is the one in charge of teaching him the sword. It could mean that although Callum and Claudia know each other, it’s more of an acquaintanceship than a friendship, with Callum pining from afar most of the time.

--- However obnoxious he is with the “step-prince” thing, it’s cute that Soren is willing to help Callum impress Claudia. It also tells us that if a romance did strike up between Callum and Claudia, Soren wouldn’t particularly mind.

--- That warm laugh in Harrow’s voice as he says “boy-oy-oy-oys!!” breaks my heart. He loves them so much ;A;

--- “Why’s he sending us away? Something’s wrong.” Later in the episode Callum snaps at Ezran for “not getting” that assassins are coming to kill Harrow. The thing is, that’s not true at all. Ezran is the first one to point out that something’s wrong with how they’re being sent away (though we can tell from Callum’s expression as he reassured Ezran that he agreed, even if he didn’t want to admit it). Ezran is sharper than perhaps is noticeable at times, and he prefers to distract and play around to keep his mind off scary things, instead of dwelling like Callum tends to.

--- “. . . unwanted visitors.” I’ve seen some people suggest that this could imply that Viren already has relations with elves from Xadia, but while I’m very curious about his upcoming relationship with Aaravos, I don’t think that he had contact with elves prior to this point. It’s possible, but I think that another strong possibility is that the “unwanted visitors” line is referring to the fact that magical creatures might cross the border unknowingly at times (because to a butterfly or a bird, borders don’t exist), and Viren takes them for his own use in spells. They’re just innocent creatures he’s able to hunt once they cross over. Moonshadow elf assassins . . . not so much.

--- Soren got yelled at for Callum overhearing about the assassination plot and it wasn’t even his fault. Maybe if Viren wanted to be discrete, he could have closed the window in the first place. Just saying.

--- Callum’s first instinct when learning Harrow might be assassinated is to run off and defend him from the assassins. My heart is broken again. ;A;

--- Once again Soren rubs in the “step” thing, and even worse this time. Callum is clearly worried about Harrow, he says that Harrow is his father and that’s why he wants to defend him, and Soren takes the opportunity to say, “Technically he’s your step father, but I suppose it’s similar.” This is absolutely atrocious behavior. It’s not cute, it’s not funny, it’s not charming, it’s not excusable. The only one who deserved to get knocked in the mud in that scene was Soren, sorry not sorry.

--- “Life is precious. Life is valuable. We take it, but we do not take it lightly.” This quote of Runaan’s is probably my favorite from the show.

--- After the moon moth “fails to find” the moonshadow elves, Soren thinks it’s worthless, but he still doesn’t kill it. This is a notable difference between Soren and Claudia in a very subtle scene. Soren thinks the moonshadow moth is worthless, that it failed. But when it lands on his hand again after he comes to this conclusion, he just lifts his hand to let it fly away. He doesn’t hurt it, doesn’t kill it. Claudia, I have no doubt, would have either captured it again to use it in a spell later, or would have killed it on the spot to try to use right then and there. Claudia doesn’t value the lives of other beings, but Soren? Soren does.

--- I think Marcos might have known, or at least suspected, that the tree grove was an illusion, but he left anyway. We get a shot of him pausing significantly to stare at the “tree” that the moon moth landed on right before he leaves. But although he stares for a long moment, he ultimately does leave and follow with the others. I’ve always felt that perhaps he knew, or at least suspected, that Rayla and the others were there, but that he kept quiet to give Rayla the same grace she showed him the night before.

#the dragon prince #meta #tdp meta

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ar-hart · 6 years

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Created by @jxsminewrites. I was tagged by @rosecorcoranwrites . Thanks! 😊

Rules: tag 5 or more other writers. If you aren’t tagged, feel free to use these questions anyway and consider yourself tagged!

1. Short stories, novels, or poems?

Short stories and novels.

2. What genre do you prefer reading?

Does manga count? If so, I like yuri, magic, & shojo.

Regular Books: Lgbt+ &/or Fantasy, & historical fiction focusing on native american tribes or early civilization. I also like young adult novels (mainly by VC Andrews/Sarah Dessen or something like Beautiful Creatures).

3. What genre do you prefer writing?

I love fantasy! Magic & mystical creatures & beautiful lands! 😍 Also, I tend to only write lgbt+. I can't help it; I just love writing about two girls in love. 👭

4. Are you a planner or a write-as-I-go kind of person?

Depends on what I'm working on. For my WIP, I definitely plan and outline, though my scenes sometimes float randomly through my head until I absolutely have to write them down. For my short stories, I write as it comes to me.

5. What music do you listen to while writing?

A little bit of everything. I have a playlist that includes cartoon songs, some pop, some rock, some new age, & some random songs that I have no idea where they came from. 🎶

6. Fave books/movies?

Books: Harry Potter, The Hobbit, Annie on my Mind, Clan of the Cave Bear, The Language of Flowers, & many many more

Movies: LOTR cartoon movies, Howl's Moving Castle, Wolf Children, Beauty and the Beast

7. Any current WIPs?

I am working on a lgbt+ young adult novel about a singer and an artist who are both dealing with heavy home problems. They meet, become friends, and slow burn into lovers. They learn to lean on each other for support and find strength by being together (romanticly and non). Also my singer has a best friend who is still in the closet but totally amazing (he is super down to earth, the best advice giver, a rock drummer, & absolutely loves his twin sisters and plants).

8. If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

My hair would be pulled back in a twisted bun, probably with a pencil. I would be wearing brightly colored tank tops, shorts, and flip-flops (if any shoes, I prefer barefoot). Maybe include my reading glasses, a book in my hand, and my phone on my hip.

9. Create a character description for yourself:

Red hair, brown eyes, short (5'3"). Really pale skin, freckles. Bright green nail polish. Likes to read, write, & cuddle. Loves animals (mostly cats). Sometimes doodles on arm with bright colored pens. Has sun & moon tattoos on inside of calves. Can be found in sunny rooms, sitting in a plush chair with a book. (I know this sounds silly & jumbled, but this is seriously how I keep up with my babies. Lol)

10. Do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing?

No. I try to keep real life separate from my writing.

11. Are you kill-happy with characters?

No. So far my works haven't called for any deaths, but that might change. I doubt I will want to kill several characters though. Only if I really have to. I always feel bad for putting my babies through unnecessary stress.

12. Dream job?

Being a well loved author

13. Coffee or tea while writing?

Tea, mainly chamomile & honey.

14. Slow or fast writer?

Slow. I take ages to write even one chapter because I want my timeline to fit right and I rewrite every time I turn around! Honestly, my WIP has 3 chapters mainly because I have rewrote them like 5 times (& have to redo them again).

15. Where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

Books, video games, anime, music, and random pictures (mainly nature pics or anime art). Also my hubby & sister, both of whom listen to my ramblings and bounce ideas with me. 💙

16. If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be?

I would love to be a nature weaver (earth/water magic) or a forestry archer. Either way, I would be a beast tamer and lover of forests.

17. Most fave book cliche? Least fave book cliche?

Favorites: Don't have one.

Least favorite: Love Triangles. I hate them.

18. Fave places to write:

In a plush recliner by a window in the living room. So comfy.

19. Fave scenes to write?

Heart-warming romance scenes & deep, thoughtful moments.

20. Most productive time of day for writing?

I like to write during car rides, laying in bed, or just whenever. Depends on what we are doing that day and when the mood strikes me. Sometimes I'll go hours about my book in my head (maybe all day), then have to write immediately. Other times, I'll get bored and pull open a word document.

21. Reason for writing:

To give someone a place to escape to or to show that they aren't alone with what they are dealing with. Books became my saviors at a young age & I know how they can take away the worries of the day (even if only for a moment). I want to give my readers that chance to get away if they need it.

Okay! I will tag @ravencharm , @christinawritesfiction , @helenpowers , @readalittle-writealittle , & @merigreenleaf .

#writeblr #writing tag game

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ellawritesficssometimes · 7 years

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My Save Year: ch. 4

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12554533/1/My-Save-Year

Summary: Depressed and rejected by his family, Arthur longs for a new beginning during his first year of university. There he meets Alfred, an optimistic bright-eyed oaf with a sunny smile. An unlikely romance develops between them, one that was already doomed from the beginning. (USUK, multichapter)

Mid-October…

Prof. Braginski dismissed us from the lecture fifteen minutes earlier than usual. The new location of the lecture was desolate, much farther from the other buildings on campus. This was already the third switch up of classrooms; the class was nearly down to half its size. Most students dropped out because of the course’s inconsistency, choosing to take the online version instead.

Francis, Antonio, Lovino, Gilbert, and myself, on the other hand, stubbornly stuck it through with the original course. We were very much visual learners and had to see the material presented to us in order to truly engage with it.

Although, it was hard to listen to Prof. Braginski without feeling sorry for him. The man looked like he hadn’t caught a wink of sleep judging by the dark bags under his eyes. Everyone in the University stayed far away from him because of the paranormal rumours attached to his reputation.

Hell, we’d all experienced the random bangs and moans of ghosts haunting the classrooms he taught at. Although, only Francis and I could hear the latter. Still, it was hard for anyone to dispute that there was some sort of paranormal activity going on.

So far, this third location proved to be the quietest in terms of hauntings. The lights flickered, but that’s about it. We were located in a dingy basement of a church, using desks that were hardly big enough to place a laptop on. It was crowded and humid despite the cool fall weather outside.

Just as I was about to leave with Francis – we managed to tolerate each other now, and could even be considered just a tad bit more than acquaintances – Prof. Braginski asked me to stay back.

I complied and met the professor at the front podium.

Prof. Braginski gathered his papers before neatly placing them in his briefcase. “Ah, Mr. Kirkland, I’ve been meaning to speak to you for a while now,” he said apologetically, snow-white hair shining under the artificial fluorescent lights.

“I’m sure you’re aware that you’ve received the highest mark in the class for the first assignment, da?”

I nodded my head. My cheeks warmed. I was unsure of myself and quite frankly didn’t know how to react to praise. “Yes, sir, you sent me an email to inform me of this last week.”

Prof. Braginski straightened, readjusting his scarf in preparation for baring against the cold weather. “That long ago, huh?” he chuckled. “My apologies. If it’s any consolation, I have been quite busy lately with booking new classroom locations, as well as re-grading assignments. Many people in the class weren’t pleased with the results they received. Most of the time, these are the students who don’t attend any of my lectures.”

I nodded awkwardly, still unsure of what to say. The Russian was very intimidating up-close. He looked like he was capable of cracking a spoon with his thumb alone.

“Anyways, I just wanted to congratulate you,” Prof. Braginski continued. His violet eyes shined with kindness. “I know what’s its like to be an emerging writer. It’s tough, because you never truly know if you’re good enough. You’re always criticizing your writing, unable to see the talent laying right out before you like a shining beacon. Doubt is blinding like that.

“I try to tell students not to think that way when they get better. Just because you improve doesn’t mean that you were horrible before… I expect a lot of things from you, Mr. Kirkland. It was an immense pleasure reading your work. You just have such a way of getting down to the gritty details of how a character feels. It was almost paralyzing to read, and yet, I couldn’t unglue my eyes from the paper.”

“T-thank you, sir,” I stammered robotically. “This means a lot to me. Really, it does.”

“Anytime,” Prof. Braginski smiled. “All it takes is a bit of encouragement. We writers, we’re always so insecure about ourselves. Sometimes all it takes is a little push from someone who knows exactly what you’re going through.”

“I know what you mean,” I replied, wide-eyed. Briefly, my thoughts traced back to Alfred before focusing on Prof. Braginski’s slightly hooked nose. I was too shy to establish direct eye contact with him.

“So, have you started on the second prompt yet? I’m sure that you have. The deadline is fast approaching. What is it? Two weeks until it’s due?”

Our second prompt was to write a historical fiction piece. The time or genre didn’t matter so long as it was before 1960. We could depict anything we wanted to.

“Yes, sir,” I answered politely. “I’ve begun research in the library, and intend to continue it right now, actually. This was my last class of the day.”

“Oh, well, I won’t keep you for much longer then,” Prof. Braginski pursed his lips in approval. “Now, keep in mind this offer may not stand if I decide to leave next semester, but if I do decide to stay, I’m always looking for an assistant. This position would build you a lot of credit, and I’d be happy to invite you to a writer’s residency program afterwards. I see lots of potential in you, and I would hate for it to go unrecognized.”

“I…I don’t know what to say other than thank you,” I said, mouth gaped open like a bloody idiot. “I don’t know what I did to deserve–”

“Nyet! None of that,” Prof. Braginski interrupted, kindly. “You deserve every opportunity this world has to offer. I only offer this to students who I believe have a future in writing. Don’t question it, but rather accept your talent for what it is and hone in on it; tweak it; perfect it; and then, share it to the world, touch and reach the hearts of others, and maybe then, you’ll achieve the happiness you’ve long sought after.”

There was a knowing look in Prof. Braginski’s eyes as he clapped a hand over my shoulder. “When I was your age, I was stunted by a fear of rejection. It brought me many pains, and…” he paused. I could almost swear that tears were swimming in his old, wise gaze.

“…some ‘experiences’ I would rather not talk about. The point is, Mr. Kirkland, is to never let doubt plague you from achieving what you want. Don’t think, act. Now go, you have another marvelous one-shot to write for me. I very much look forward to reading it once it’s complete.”

Stunned, I stumbled forward. I had completely blanked out and forgotten what I had said to Prof. Braginski as I left the lecture room.

I was finally able to breathe again once I made it into the library.

The relief didn’t last long as I had to duck and creep past the study tables on the first floor. Matthew was holding his weekly Friday Homework club session, and since Francis was a stalker, he had long decided to attend them.

All right, to be fair, Gilbert first went to the meetings, and since Gilbert went, Antonio and Francis went too. Lovino was also forced to attend because of Antonio.

What was important was that Francis mainly came to these meetings because he wanted to check up on me. I avoided him because I didn’t want him to find out what I was doing here, other than working. I’d solve the case of the rooftop without his help, thank you very much.

It was hard enough coming up with excuses of why I couldn’t attend the meetings as all five of us walked over to the library together after class. Apparently, studying alone was beginning to lose its potency as an effective justification for not joining them.

Francis turned and eyed the bookcase I was using to hide/ walk behind. He was waiting for me to walk into the library, likely planning to use another guilt-trip tactic. Just because I tolerated him now didn’t mean that I wanted to spend every waking minute with him. Living together was more than enough.

Sapphire eyes narrowed before shifting their gaze to Matthew, who had cleared his throat several times to garner the Frenchman’s attention.

“Francis, focus on your work!” Matthew timidly scolded. He had about as much assertiveness as an endangered baby panda.

“Ah…oui,” Francis bashfully rubbed the back of his neck.

“Kesesese! Oh look, you made the little birdie angry,” Gilbert cackled.

“Gilbert, what did I say about you calling me that?” Matthew deadpanned.

“I’ll keep calling you as such until you finally agree to go out on a date with me,” Gilbert countered, a definite smirk on his face judging by the tone he used. “They don’t call me five meters for nothing…”

Lovino yawned and picked up his mobile. “Hi, yes, operator? I’d like to report a case of unnecessary sexual harassment.”

Antonio snickered. Lovino’s comment was unnecessary. Shy as he was, Matthew was more than capable of looking after himself.

“I’m starting to think that they call you five meters because of all the restraining orders people have filed against you,” Matthew huffed.

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Smirking, I left for the rickety metal staircase leading up to the third floor. I couldn’t use the elevator, since it was in plain sight of the study group. God forbid that I had more than one social interaction today.

I wanted to look at the records’ section again. I was contemplating doing a piece about someone who had lived here in the past. Obviously, I would adjust the storyline and names and keep it tasteful, but I think it would be interesting if I wrote about what it was like to have attended this university many years ago. The spirits here that I’ve met already only attested to how rich and dark the school’s history was.

But, before I got to that, I had a certain yank to greet. Alfred waited for me at 4PM on weekdays where we met and chatted on the library’s rooftop. On the weekends, we had also grown accustomed to studying at the ‘food’ table in the fiction section together. As you can probably guess, I had yet to come up with any leads about the food snatching.

Not yet anyway.

The moment I stepped foot onto the rooftop, Alfred exploded. He was even more jittery than usual. “Dude, where were you? You’re late! I…I was beginning to worry,” he trailed off, solemnly reseating himself as I sat next to him on a bench. He was perfectly comfortable with me sitting next to him now.

“Sorry, one of my professors asked me to stay back,” I apologized for reasons inexplicable. When Alfred pouted like that I immediately felt sorry regardless if his sadness was irrational or not.

“He wanted to congratulate me for doing well on my first assignment. You know, the one I sent in last month?” I explained.

Alfred angrily scribbled in his notebook. “Yeah, yeah, you told me,” he muttered. “Good for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “What’s wrong now?”

Alfred ignored me. His cheeks weren’t just pink from the cold.

“Alfred, don’t be a twat. Tell me.”

“I thought you got tired of me and weren’t going to come again!” Alfred blurted out. “Sorry! I know I’m being irrational!” he chuckled. “Anxiety man, it really likes to mess with your brain, huh?”

“You’re correct. You are being irrational. We’ve been friends for how long now? Six weeks? Seven? I’m not just going to abandon you, Alfred. I couldn’t stand it if I did. Loud and crude as you may be, I truly enjoy talking to you. Just like you keep encouraging me to believe in myself, I’ll do the same for you. I like being your friend.”

“Say that. Say it again.”

“Why?” I smirked.

“Please?”

“I like being your friend, Alfred,” I huffed, crossing both my arms and ankles. Great, how was I going to tell him that I had to leave to do research?

Alfred broke out into a grin. “Thanks, buddy. I really needed that.”

I shrugged. “Anytime. Honestly, you can be so weird sometimes.”

Alfred ignored me again and began jotting down more ideas in his notebook. I had to look away when his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth.

“So,” I let out a deep breath. Cold air clouded around my face. “How’s class going for you? Are you working on another assignment?”

“Nope, just brainstorming ideas for my War AU,” Alfred chirped. “I can do that literary bullshit essay late at night like I usually do. Class is good, boring, but good. You?”

I deadpanned. Classic Alfred. If something didn’t peak his interest, he would torture himself and leave an assignment until the very last minute. What infuriated me was that he got higher marks than students who had started weeks before him. He was naturally talented. If only he put more effort into his studies…

Alfred was bright, but not keen.

I faltered. I didn’t want to leave Alfred just yet. Watching him work and brainstorm was a guilty pleasure of mine. He wore his emotions on his face. My heart fluttered every time his eyebrows would furrow, lips pursed in thought, cerulean eyes sparking with determination. I’ll repeat myself again: he was beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, but I couldn’t have him.

“Hey,” I started. “I’m supposed to write a historical piece for my next one-shot. Would you… mind if I took a look at your ideas? I could really use the inspiration.”

Alfred’s head shot up, blond cowlick bouncing. His expression was more surprised than anything else, but he didn’t look opposed to it. “Sure, man. Suit yourself. Not that any of this is good.”

He handed the bounded notebook to me. I intended to cradle it gently, as it was very valuable to him, but ended up gasping as the notebook landed sharply on my lap – it was a lot heavier than I had expected.

“Jesus Roosevelt Christ!” I cussed. “How much does this thing weigh?”

Alfred blushed, placing a gloved fist over his mouth. “I don’t know…this is years of ideas and ink you’re looking at.”

“Clearly,” I said as I flipped through the notebook. Several extra notebooks and papers had been clipped into the binding, which explained the extra weight. Still, it was unimaginable how much this thing weighed. I could barely hold it up without feeling like my wrists were about to snap.

“Say something already!” Alfred spluttered, red up to his face, neck, and ears. “You’re killing me here!”

After some time had passed, I closed the notebook having briefly glanced over the plot and historical notes. I didn’t need to do this, I was merely fibbing around so that I didn’t have to leave Alfred right away.

I had told myself before that I wouldn’t stay with him for long. Half an hour later, and it still wasn’t enough. Spending time with Alfred was like a drug. You craved it, needed it. Instead of a high, he gave me praise and acceptance. To me, this was the only satisfaction I would ever need and couldn’t nearly get enough of.

“It’s so thorough,” I remarked in awe. “And here I thought I was a good researcher. I can’t imagine how much thought was put into this. And the characterization, my word! You really root for Allen to survive the war in the end. It’s just a pity that it seems like you’re intending to have his mental health be his final undoing. You’re not going to kill him off, are you?”

Alfred’s solemn expression indicated the opposite.

“That’s so cruel!” I complained.

“Yeah, well, life is unfair like that,” Alfred grumbled, leaning back to drape his arms over the bench. God, how I wanted him to wrap his arms around me.

I fidgeted with my hands, thinking about how I was going to break the news to Alfred. He treasured our time spent together just as much as I did, only for different reasons.

“Thank you for showing me something so personal,” I murmured softly. “That was very sweet of you.”

“Did it help?”

“Yeah,” I smiled. “I really think that it did. Which brings me to my next point. I’m afraid I can’t stay here any longer. I have some research to do for the piece, and now that my professor is expecting a lot more from me, it’s got to be absolutely perfect.”

I stood up and slung my backpack over my shoulder.

Alfred spluttered. “Wha–?! You’re leaving?! Already?!”

I gave Alfred a sad look. “Yes, that’s what I just said, didn’t I?”

“No!” Alfred fumed. He slammed his notebook into his satchel.

“What do you mean, no?!” I snapped, irritation setting in.

“You heard me, Artie,” Alfred growled. He curled his gloved hands into fists as he stood up to loom over me. “This is our daily meeting time, so wherever you go, I go.”

“Alfred,” I deadpanned, promptly ignoring the putrid nickname. “You can’t just follow me around. I have work to do.”

“Yes I can! Watch me!”

“You’re going to get bored,” I shook my head in disbelief. Meanwhile, my heartbeat sped up, hammering in my chest uncontrollably. He was going out of his way to spend time with me. Me!

“No, I won’t. Now stop talking, and get researching. I’ll eat and supervise.”

I scoffed when Alfred pulled out a PB & J sandwich from his jacket. He really fancied those from the school’s cafeteria.

“Fine,” I growled. “Just don’t be too loud. And that means chewing with your mouth closed!”

“Yep! Mhmmghgph.”

“Oh dear god,” I sighed, holding open the library’s door for him. “How can you switch from being sweet and endearing to insufferable in thirty seconds flat?”

Alfred swallowed heavily. “Beats me.”

“Don’t you have something better to do? How come you don’t socialize with your actual classmates?” I asked. I let go of the door and it swung shut with a satisfying click.

This was something I had always wondered. I only ever saw Alfred in the library, or very rarely in the cafeteria. I didn’t know what he did in his spare time, let alone which dorm building he was residing in. He was a mystery, but I never asked these things out of fear of breaching his privacy and very fragile personal bubble.

We walked together comfortably on the soft padded carpeting and approached the balcony railing that overlooked the entire library. I took a sharp right and Alfred followed.

“I do,” Alfred replied. ��But you’re the one I hang out with outside of class. I like you the most. I’m getting better at initiating conversations, though! It must be because of the practice I have with you.”

Of all people, the yank had learned how to socialize better from me. How ironic.

Still, that comment made me blush furiously; I had to turn away. If he kept saying things like that…

“So!” Alfred whistled. “What type of reaching are ya doin’?”

“I’m looking up biographies or newspaper articles about people who used to attend the university. We’re supposed to write a story about the past. I figured I would write a historical fiction piece about one of the lores people on campus like to gossip about. I mean, seriously. If I hear one more suicide horror story, my ears are going to bleed!” I sighed.

Alfred inhaled sharply. “That’s uh, real weird, Artie. Where are you taking us anyway?”

“You mean where am I going?” I smugly corrected. “You’re the one following me, remember? And, the records section, of course. I have to base this piece on someone, even if I am going to change up a few things.”

“Oh,” Alfred squeaked.

I stopped abruptly, turning to shed Alfred with an annoyed glare. “Let me guess,” I started. “You’re afraid there’s going to be more ghosts in this section?”

“Well, yeah dude, that’s a fact! I know this library from head to toe! I…uh came here a lot earlier in the summer than you did! The records section is the worse because it’s about real people! I would know, I used to sit there before I moved to the rooftop!”

“Tsk! You’re such a baby.”

“Am not!” Alfred protested.

“Are…” I turned around and realized that Alfred was gone.

I nearly jumped three feet in the air when Matthew came walking around a nearby bookshelf. “I thought I heard you up here, Arthur. Francis was looking for you earlier. He wanted you to come down and join us, but the meeting’s over now… Eh, who were you talking to? I thought I heard another voice?”

“Oh just some ridiculous yank who’s a total baby and is scared of ghosts!” I spoke up just in case Alfred was nearby.

“How nice, you made a friend,” Matthew smiled. He looked eerily maternal. I stifled a sigh. “I’ll let you two fight it out then,” he smirked. There was a knowing expression on his face. “And Arthur?”

“Yes?”

“You should really start coming to the meetings. Your other friends in it would really like you to go.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged.

“Mhmmm. Bye now.”

“Like hell I will,” I finished when Matthew’s soft chuckles had faded away.

Without a certain loud-mouth to interrupt me, I began pawing through several records. I flipped through maybe five of them before jumping again at the sound of a pop can opening.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I hissed, angry because I had nearly dropped the record book I was holding.

Alfred guzzled down a can of Fanta. “What?” he whined, letting out a loud “AH!” as the carbonated bubbles scraped at his throat. “There was a vending machine nearby and I wanted something to wash the sandwich down.”

I pointed a sharp index finger at a bin around the corner. “Garbage, now. You know full well that I work at this library. You’re breaking one of the only rules here.”

“But Artieeee!”

“Don’t you ‘but Artie’ me! Now I’m going to count to ten, and if that’s not in the garbage by the time I’m done…”

“I’m not doin’ it.”

“1…”

“…”

“2…”

“…”

“3…”

“Fine! Whatever! Be a stick in the mud, see if I care.”

“Hmmph! That’s what I thought,” I conceitedly murmured to myself, and then smugly resumed my research.

Alfred had his revenge when he snuck up on me from behind and playfully jabbed my side with his thumb.

“Gotcha!”

“AH!” Since I was a very ticklish person, I jolted and accidently elbowed Alfred in the stomach.

“OOMPH!” Alfred turned and staggered backwards. He grabbed at my waist to prevent himself from falling. All he managed to do was bring me down with him.

Disorientated, it took me a solid thirty seconds before I was aware of my compromising position. I was straddling Alfred.

Horror quickly set in.

Much to my surprise, Alfred didn’t panic. Instead he laughed, squinting up at me as his glasses were left askew on the bridge of his nose. His cerulean eyes seemed bluer under the fluorescent lights; it was an indescribable shade.

So was how red my face was.

“Bahahaha! Your face!” Alfred reached out to pinch my cheeks. “It’s so red!”

Silence.

“Oh, go fuck yourself!” I scowled and rigidly crawled off him. I stood up and brushed off the dirt from my pants, attempting to maintain some dignity.

“Aw, Arthur come back!” Alfred protested. He scrambled to his feet. “It was just a joke, I’m sorry! I’m also sorry for messing up your research!”

I looked over my shoulder, lips pursed in a death glare. “Good night, Alfred. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I grudgingly admitted that last part. I could never stay mad at him for too long. The way that his hair stuck up unevenly from the fall almost made me laugh, almost.

“Night!” Alfred giggled. He was shaking his head as if I were the weird one.

Unfortunately, I had a much larger problem in my pants to hide and eventually get rid of.

…

Several hours later…

…

I furiously rubbed at my eyes, hoping to alleviate a late-night grogginess spell. Each day, I had a set number of course readings and work to do. If I didn’t finish what I had set out to accomplish, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Perhaps, this was my OCD, but I absolutely despised being behind on my work. My anxiety simply wouldn’t be able to handle it.

I was stubborn, but at least this trait didn’t bring me unnecessary stress caused by procrastination. Yes, Francis, I’m talking about you, you overstuffed amphibian.

As of now, the Frenchman had gone to bed early, intending to get some beauty sleep. For once, he wasn’t out partying. Either way, he was a chronic procrastinator. Just watching him do his assignments at the last minute gave me high blood pressure, and I didn’t even like him!

“Come on,” I grumbled to myself, both squinting and widening my eyes. The pages were getting fuzzier and fuzzier.

It didn’t help that my level of focus was next to shit since the incident with Alfred in the library a few hours ago. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and when I did, I would cringe so hard stars danced before my eyes.

I leaned against the frame of my bed and straightened my posture. I had lost count how many times I’ve cracked my shoulders and spine. It was taking me over three hours just to get through thirty pages of material. Normally, something like this would take me an hour and a half at most.

A voice in my head begged for me to sleep, and my heavy-lidded eyes pleaded for this as well.

I hadn’t realized that my eyes had already closed until a large bang against my windowsill startled me back into focus. Again, with the irony here.

“I’m probably just imagining things,” I muttered. “Come on now, only ten more pages to go. I can do this.”

Not thirty seconds later, my window banged again.

Irritated, I swung my legs over the bed. The cold tiling pressing into the soles of my feet caused me to wince in discomfort. I padded over to the window anyway and narrowed my eyes.

“AH-! FUCK!” I gasped without a shred of elegance. A tall, hulking figure was perched on the tree outside my window. They were on the closet branch, waving at me with a massive hand. Were they going to throw a rock at me this time?

What if it was those delinquents from the bar area? Did they know where I lived now?

Panic crept up my throat. I could hardly breathe, and yet, I was frozen; motionless; terrified of what would happen next. Tears pricked at my eyes, but I willed them back.

“Artie!” The figure bellowed. Their voice was muffled by the glass panelling.

The clouds outside cleared. Under the moonlight, a gleam of spectacles and cerulean eyes reflected back at me.

I grabbed at my chest as if it would somehow stop my heart from beating as fast and unhealthily as it was now.

“Alfred!” I snapped. “What the hell are you doing here?! It’s one in the morning!”

Alfred motioned for me to open the window. “Can’t hear you, dude!” he mouthed, gloved hands cupped around his mouth. There was a devilish smirk on his face that didn’t sit right with me.

Because I was embarrassed, I couldn’t hope to stop myself from being rude. I wasn’t expecting company, not ever, but certainly not at this hour. I was wearing sweats and a hoodie; being presentable was far out of the question.

SLAM!

I opened the window harshly and scowled. “I said, what are you doing here?! It’s one in the morning, you imbecile!”

This was the first time I had seen Alfred outside of the library or cafeteria. I was being bombarded with too many surprises I wasn’t nearly prepared enough to deal with.

Alfred shrunk back. “I…ah…wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn’t mean to scare you off. I only meant to tease ya, and I guess it really backfired, huh?”

I blushed at the reminder. I couldn’t even bring myself to think about what I had done when I had gotten home earlier. Looking myself in the bathroom mirror in shame afterwards was more than enough.

“Apology accepted,” I scoffed. This whole encounter was just too ridiculous for me to process. “I’m sorry too. I get flustered easily. Although, what you’re doing right now isn’t helping. How did you even find out where I live?”

Alfred’s face brightened. “You told me you lived in the Gaul dorm, remember? This window was the only one with the lights on, and since you’re always studying, I figured this would be your room,” he explained. “You’re very predictable, Arthur. It doesn’t take a genius to figure you out.”

“Brilliant,” I remarked sarcastically. “You’re a true detective if I’ve ever seen one.”

“So,” Alfred shifted nervously. “You wanna come out and gaze at the stars with me?”

“Honestly,” I crossed my arms. “You make no bloody sense. First, you come to apologize to me when you could have done that tomorrow, and now you expect me to sit with you on a flimsy tree branch that likely won’t be able to hold up both of our weights?”

“I didn’t want to wait!” Alfred blurted out. “It was really bugging me. You just left so abruptly. I thought I hurt your feelings and then I felt really shitty about it and then I couldn’t sleep, so I came here because residence doesn’t let you in past 11 PM and now you’re being really mean and ah! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Crap! You must think I’m so weird… Also, this branch is a lot sturdier than it looks, man! I mean, it’s holding up my dead ass weight, ain’t it?!”

Silence.

Alfred rubbed at the back of his neck again and bit his lip. He was breathing heavily, too petrified to form a coherent sentence.

I caved almost immediately. Seeing Alfred be sad like this was too painful to watch.

“Fine,” I sighed. “But if I fall, I’m suing you. And are you really that surprised that I’m being mean to you? I thought you were trying to assault me! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Oh god!” Alfred gasped, sheepish. “I didn’t think of that! Not that I think anything through, ahaha!” he laughed nervously. “I just thought it was a nice night to enjoy. You would see this for yourself if you came out here.”

“Well, I can’t do that if you’re not going to help me,” I countered. “Not everyone has the figure of an Olympic athlete like you do. I’m not exactly made for climbing.”

Alfred smirked and crawled closer to the window. He extended a gloved hand, smug in all of his entirety. “My dearest pasty prince, may I escort you onto this branch?” he mused.

“Forget it,” I snarled. “If you’re going to be insufferable, I’ll just go back to doing my work.”

“No! Please!” Alfred whined. “Artie! Come on! It’s so nice out! Take a break for once.”

Silence.

Alfred’s cerulean eyes widened, tearing up for dramatic effect. “Please,” he said, waggling his massive hand at me. His long fingers grabbed at empty air.

Silence.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”

My eyes twitched. Don’t look. Don’t look.

Damn it, I looked.

“Ple–!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, fine!” I snapped.

Laughing, Alfred took my hand. With a grunt, he hoisted me up onto the branch. He held my waist with both hands until I settled on the branch, comfortably next to him. There was a decent amount of distance between us. I pretended not to acknowledge the jolts of electricity that shot up my spine every time he touched me.

“See, isn’t it nice out?” Alfred said serenely, pointing up at the near perfect night.

I furrowed my brows. Just twenty minutes ago, it had been pitch-black out and now there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. The moon shone against us, a bright yellow orb that painted the campus with a dream-like dewy light.

“Yes, actually,” I admitted, glancing at the cluster of stars dotting the night. If you looked even closer, you could just barely make out the murky trails of several nebulas. The campus was in a remote enough location where star-gazing was far easier than it was in urban areas.

“I can’t remember the last time I was able to see full constellations,” I continued. “Actually, I just haven’t bothered to do something as simple as this for a long time now. You’re right, Alfred. It is nice.”

Alfred playfully bumped his shoulder against mine. “Thought so. You’re always so busy that you never look up to enjoy the simple things in life. I’ve yet to see you relax. Being high-strung must be a talent of yours.”

“Haha, very funny,” I yawned.

“Woah,” Alfred exclaimed when I began to sway without realizing. “Just how tired are you exactly?”

“Very,” I murmured. “I’ll be…fine.”

“No, no you’re not. Can I um…” Alfred faltered, craning his neck to look at me. “Can I wrap my arm around you? I just want to make sure you don’t fall!!!”

Turns out I wasn’t the only one blushing profusely.

“W-what?!” I spluttered, only to falter when Alfred shrunk back, embodying a kicked puppy position. “Well, ah, I mean, if you’re comfortable doing it, sure?” I squeaked.

Without another word, Alfred wrapped an arm around my torso in support. He was warm. I could feel the heat emanating from underneath his bomber jacket.

“T-thanks,” I whispered.

“Any time,” Alfred just about squealed, his voice a few octaves higher than normal.

Silence, again.

I willed myself not to breathe too much. Not that I was able to. Alfred was so close. I could smell him: leather, and the gruff scent of polish and hair gel. His arms were strong in their grip. I wanted to lean closer, but knew it wouldn’t be appropriate given our relationship.

Instead, I focused on admiring the night sky. If I met those wondrous cerulean eyes one more time, I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle it. They weren’t mine to look at. For now, I could only cherish them.

“Hey,” Alfred spoke up again. His entire body was tense. If he pointed up his chin any higher, he’d surely break his neck.

“Yes?” I replied, breathless.

“I really am sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s fine. You just startled me, that’s all.”

Alfred chuckled. “Just like I did now?”

“Yes,” I smiled faintly. “Just like you did now, you stupid yank.”

“Aw come on, that’s not nice,” Alfred chided.

“Oh shut up,” I huffed. “You’ve patronized me enough tonight. Just let me enjoy this moment while it lasts. Soon it’ll be over, and then I’ll be thrust back into the never-ending cycle of lectures, papers, and mid-terms. I need an outlet to vent my frustrations onto; you just so happen to be it.”

“Fair enough,” Alfred snickered. “But, didn’t you say something about having an annoying roommate? Don’t you get to vent your frustrations onto him?”

“Oh, believe me I do,” I said in loathing. “I try to avoid him most of the time, though. Unfortunately, he has a tendency to find me wherever I am. Our meeting spot on the rooftop is the only place I can hide from him.”

“Is he really that bad?” Alfred asked.

“Absolutely intolerable,” I shuddered. “He blasts music all day, drinks wine, and parties just about every other night. Not to mention that he constantly picks at me for, well, everything. My clothes, my diet, my hair…my writing; apparently it’s really depressing and cryptic. He usually shuts up after I tell him his writing sounds like it’s written from the perspective of a sixteen year old drama queen. God, I can’t stand angst. Maybe it’s because my life is already full of it enough as it is.”

Alfred shrugged. “I don’t know, dude. Maybe your roommate is just trying to pull out the best in you. I’ve seen what you bring for lunch. Not that I’m a master chef or anything, but bread and butter isn’t enough to get you through the day. I don’t mind how you dress, and as for your writing? As long as he’s not malicious, it’s okay to accept constructive criticism. I’m sure he cares about you a lot more than you think. He wouldn’t bother if he didn’t.”

“Alfred,” I groaned. “I’m trying to vent. I don’t need a rational explanation and analysis like you’re my frigging therapist. I’m angry, leave me be.”

“I’m just saying,” Alfred protested, albeit weakly. “It won’t do ya any good if you keep pushing away people.”

“You currently have your arm wrapped around me,” I slyly remarked. “I hardly see that as pushing people away.”

“Touche,” Alfred admitted.

“How about you?” I asked, re-directing the conversation. “Surely, you can’t be that great of a roommate if you’re out this late at night. Aren’t they going to be angry when you come back and wake them up?”

Truth is, I had no idea where Alfred lived on campus. We had never even spoken about the subject.

“Nah,” Alfred waved his free hand. “I’m in a single. All I have to worry about is sneaking past my res supervisor. It was pretty easy considering most people are partying in their rooms at this time.”

I nodded my head, stifling my jealousy. What I would have given to have a room to myself. If only I wasn’t dirt poor. No matter, this was what I came here for. I’d get a degree and make myself a solid career.

“Are you always this impulsive?”

“Yes.”

“That was a rhetorical question,” I deadpanned.

“I know, it’s just fun bugging you,” Alfred countered with ease. “I like how your eyebrows furrow together. It’s cute.”

Words cannot how flustered I became after that comment.

Thankfully, a distraction in the form of a very drunk Italian saved me from responding.

“Antonio, you bastard,” Lovino slurred twenty feet below. “Come here, and sweep me off my feet. I c-can’t walk, ahahaha!”

Antonio stumbled forward and giddily wrapped his arms around Lovino. “You’re so cold, mi amor. That coat isn’t warm enough for you. Here, allow me to help.”

I had to look away for the sake of privacy when the two began to make out.

Alfred and I remained quiet until they had finally walked away.

“They’re sure having a good time,” Alfred said shyly, a hesitant smile on his face.

I don’t know what overcame me, but suddenly, a surge of boldness balled up in my chest. Seeing Antonio and Lovino together didn’t just make me jealous. I was motivated to test things out with Alfred, however small the chances they were.

If not, I was perfectly fine with being friends with him.

Still, there was a small sliver of hope. Alfred was bi. He had his arm wrapped around me. Everything was set into place, and appeared like they were in my favour. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation talking, but I didn’t care.

I leaned closer into Alfred, humming pleasantly. Alfred stiffened, but didn’t pull away.

Perhaps it was the sereneness of the moment, or that I was enjoying myself, but I desperately longed for more intimacy. It’s been too long since I’d experienced it. After years of keeping to myself, Alfred was the first person whom I had ever kept for more than just a couple weeks at a time.

I wanted him. More than that, I trusted him.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t me who made the next move.

Alfred brushed his right hand over my left. “You’re not wearing any gloves,” he murmured. “They…they must be cold, right?”

“Mhhhm, yeah, very cold,” I said, impatiently.

I curled my fingers so that my knuckles brushed into his palm. “Tell me something, Alfred. Are you comfortable?”

“Y-yeah why do you ask?”

I flipped our hands so that I was holding onto his. “How about now?”

“Yeah…very comfortable,” Alfred flushed. “I’m never shy with you, Arthur. You k-know that.”

I leaned closer, pressing my face a nose’s distance away from his. “How about now?” I blinked.

“I would be more comfortable if you kissed me,” Alfred said, bravely meeting my eyes.

“Took you long enough, lad,” I grinned. “I knew you were clever.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. I moaned lowly when his tongue poked at my bottom lip. I opened in compliance, letting our tongues slip together in slow, experimental movements.

“Mmmph,” Alfred sighed, and closed his eyes. Large, steady hands raked through my hair while my own placed themselves against his rock-hard chest.

I couldn’t believe it. I was kissing Alfred Jones… and he was kissing me back no less, with just as much want and need as my own.

Our kisses became rougher, teeth clacking against each other; messily, hungrily.

I gasped when Alfred squeezed my hips, moving so that his back was placed against the trunk of the tree. Sometime in between our sloppy brushing, I had crawled over to straddle him.

“Easy,” I growled. “You’re going to leave bruises.”

“I’m sorry,” Alfred breathed into my neck, feathering the sensitive skin with delicate kisses. “I’ve just wanted to do this for so long now. You’re beautiful, Arthur. I can’t help it.”

I nearly sobbed right then and there, but instead focused on drinking up the pleasure of the moment. For once, I was being called beautiful. I wasn’t just thinking that of another person.

I needed a moment to breathe, to take in what had just happened. I resorted to pressing my forehead against Alfred’s, inhaling deeply.

Alfred grinned and rubbed his nose against mine. “You haven’t said anything. I’m worried.”

“That’s because I don’t know what to say,” I replied, sliding to rest my head against his collarbone. I was too shy to make eye contact. “Here I’ve had a crush on you all this time, and it turns out that you feel the same way. I’ve never had something work out for me so perfectly like this. Forgive me for being stunned by it.”

Alfred tucked his chin over my head, one arm rubbing my back in comforting circles. “Yup…” he trailed off, voice cracking. “That’s me for you: I think I’m being straight forward, but I only end up confusing people. I’ll probably never stop being impulsive.”

“Don’t!” I smirked.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t stop being impulsive. It’s the part of you that I like most. How you get antsy at every off-hand remark. Or how easy it is to make you happy. You’re precious, Alfred. I wouldn’t ever want you to change that about yourself.”

“You don’t know me, I mean, all of me,” Alfred murmured into my hair. “I suck sometimes by being awkward and getting mad easily, you just haven’t seen it yet. I say things that I don’t mean. I…I… shouldn’t have done this. It’s a wonder why you want to be friends with me. I…always fuck things up…”

I pulled away from Alfred, alarm setting in. “No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, I said no. Don’t you dare give up now. Alfred, I’m in no rush to take things farther. I’ll be patient if I have to, because hell if we both know that I’m far from perfect myself. Still, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I couldn’t bear it if you left, not after all that we’ve shared together. I would be happy only being friends with you. Please, just don’t leave.”

Alfred’s arm tightened around me. “Okay,” he took a jagged breath. “Someone’s got to protect you, right? I won’t leave you, Artie. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me too. You make everything bad happening around me feel like it’s nothing. I just want to see you smile; to hold you close; to make sure you…take care of yourself.”

“I do take care of myself,” I hiccupped into his chest.

“No, you don’t. Come, I’m putting you to bed and then I’m going straight home. What kind of lunatic does homework this late anyway?”

“A nerd,” I dryly replied, trying not to look too disappointed as I pulled away from him.

“I must be in love with a lunatic nerd then,” Alfred smiled, shyly with a bigger one just begging to be released. He still looked so uncertain. I didn’t want him to feel this way, so I resorted to being sarcastic in the hopes of teasing him out of his shell.

“And I must be in love with a grammarless yank.”

“Selective grammarless yank,” Alfred corrected.

“Yes, yes, whatever. Now are you going to help me into my room or not?”

“Oops, yeah, sorry.”

After much protest, and awkward fumbling movements, Alfred helped me into my room. He also forced me to put my books away. I offered no protest. He had an insufferable habit of making it impossible to say no to him.

Once the lights were shut and I was tucked underneath the covers in an angry, curled position, Alfred smiled and sat next to me on the side.

“What?!” I snapped. “I did what you said, didn’t I?”

“Nothing,” Alfred whispered. “You just look really cute again, grumpy too.”

“If you’re trying to flatter or court me, it’s not working,” I scoffed, turning my back on him.

Alfred placed a hand on my waist. Even though there was a good amount of fabric between us, it still burned pleasantly. “Don’t be like that,” he tutted. “Artie, look at me.”

Reluctantly, I flopped onto my other side. My glare was still in place, but my hot cheeks took away from the act. “What?” I spat.

Alfred bent over to kiss my forehead. “Good night. I should really get going, though. I’ll see you tomorrow, all right?”

When he got up to leave, through the window as we had already agreed that Francis seeing him would cause way too much trouble and questions, I panicked. “Wait!” I hissed.

Alfred turned around, gaping. “Huh?”

I bit my lip. “Can you…stay?”

“Only until I fall asleep!” I added when I noticed the hesitant expression on his face.

The mattress shifted with another weight again. Things didn’t seem real. I was just so happy. “Okay, that I can do.”

“Good,” I said stiffly, and left it at that.

“Geez, Artie. Aren’t you just full of surprises?” Alfred laughed lightly. “I thought you didn’t need anyone else in your life?”

“Shut up. People change. It’s called character development.”

“Right, right. I’ll just let my handsome prescence lure you to sleep.”

He hadn’t just been teased out of his shell. He was lounging on top of it now.

“You’re lucky I’m exhausted,” I warned. “Otherwise – yawn – you would be expecting a good slap to the face for being so cheeky.”

“Literally.”

“Could you stop being such a smartass?” I snarled.

Alfred reached over to sweep a few strands of hair out of my eyes. “That I can’t do,” he said in a smug tone.

I rolled my eyes, too tired to argue. “Good night, Alfred. I hope you trip and fall on your way out.”

“You don’t actually mean that. Stop being so mean.”

“You’re right, I don’t. But it was still fun to say.”

“Shhh,” Alfred smoothed the back of my head. “You can argue with me all day tomorrow. But, you won’t be able to if you don’t get a good night’s rest.”

“Very true, love.”

“I just said shhh. You’re so stubborn, geez. I’m going to be here all night if you don’t stop.”

Precisely.

I hmphed but didn’t say anything more. Last night was the best sleep I’ve had in years. Why? Because someone other than Alistair genuinely liked me for me. I didn’t doze off with pervasive guilt, self-loathing or general anxiousness.

I was finally at peace.

…

The following morning, I staggered into the kitchen. I had woken up far later than usual, Alfred of course having already left some time last night.

I had a shift in an hour, so I would be able to see Alfred then. Honestly, I’d never understand why he was so adamant on being old-fashioned in everything he did. To not have a cellphone in this day and age was almost unheard of.

Francis was sitting at the small table we had set up, his laptop open with the latest news and a mug of coffee in his hands. He was already dressed and primed to perfection, whereas my hair was sticking up in every possible direction

I pretended to ignore Francis, refusing to let him sour my good mood. Hell, if he wasn’t there to stare at me, I probably would have allowed myself a small smile.

Someone liked me.

And I liked them back.

I still couldn’t get over it.

I drew the last straw when Francis tsked at me for my choice in breakfast: oatmeal and a slice of toast.

“What?!” I snapped. I was standing up, eating my toast over the sink. AS if I was going to sit down with him and engage in a civil conversation. Not when he was looking at me so critically.

Francis took a slow sip of his coffee, eyebrows raised. When he finished, he set down his mug in a dramatic, languid motion.

“You’ve been out communicating with spirits again, haven’t you?” he accused. “Arthur, it’s dangerous to do it alone, especially late at night. I would have come if they were bothering you that badly.”

“I did no such thing,” I said, and bit into my toast with a loud crunch.

Francis’s eyebrows raised even higher.

“I swear to God, I didn’t!” I snarled. “Stop looking at me like that. Even if I did, which I didn’t, I’ve already told you that if I need your help, I’ll ask!”

“Oui, whatever, keep lying to yourself. See if I care,” Francis sighed. He stood up from his seat and exited the kitchen.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

Francis looked over his shoulder, sapphire eyes rolling. “I don’t know, ask yourself. You’re the one being suspicious.”

I turned away from Francis, furious.

My curiosity peaked when I realized that he had left his laptop open. Carefully, I leaned over the device.

In the search bar, he had typed in “How to get rid of nosy roommates.”

With a splutter, I blinked harshly when the webcam opened to snap a photo of me with a bright flash.

Francis poked his head into the kitchen, an obnoxious lilting smirk on his face. “What did I say: suspicious. Now I have my proof. The Arthur I know would never care about what I search, let alone think. You’re unusually happy, and it’s beginning to freak me out.”

So much for my good mood.

To be continued…

#hetalia #aph #aph England #aph America #USUK #aph France #spamano #fanfiction #ellaawkward #mun would like to see more reviews #she's curious about your thoughts and predictions

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