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azalea-in-wonderland · 3 years

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Daniela/Carla Interview Quotes

This is a compendium/compilation of interview quotes from both the writers and the actors about the Daniela/Carla relationship. Some of them are just so beautiful, I hadn’t read all these before I started hunting them down. Favorite part might be Stephanie talking about how it wasn’t hard to pretend to be in love with Daniela bc she had such a huge crush on Daphne already, lol. I’m also gonna add this to that massive “little details” post, just to have everything in the same place for easy reference. And I went back and edited in a few more things to that list that people mentioned in the replies, and some random little things I forgot before. As always, please tell me if I missed anything important!

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With Camila, I just wanted to be able to focus on Nina's story a little bit more. So if she was in conflict with her dad [Kevin, played by Jimmy Smits], it helped focus that story. When we lost Camila, I therefore had to balance it out and really do work to elevate Abuela Claudia [Olga Merediz] and Daniela [Daphne Rubin-Vega] to even more powerful matriarchal positions on the block.

Speaking of Daniela, was her and Carla's coupling always meant to be more of a wink, or was there more initially intended for them as queer representation in the film?

It may sound counterintuitive, but actually it's like marriage representation because when I cut the character of Camila, I just didn't want any critic anywhere to be able to say they all come from broken homes. So I was like, I need a married couple because I don't want anyone to try to spin that on me. And so I was like, oh, Daniela and Carla. They're the married business owners, and they've invested their relationship and their marriage in building this business together. And so that just felt very easy.

https://ew.com/movies/in-the-heights-writer-quiara-alegria-hudes/

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From In the Heights: Finding Home (book)

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LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA OPENED UP ABOUT HIS NEWEST PROJECT, IN THE HEIGHTS.

Gayety editor Caitlynn McDaniel sat down with the cast and creators to discuss filming in New York City, authentic representation, and a few new queer characters.

“Really it’s nothing more dramatic than Daniela and Carla, the women who co-own the salon, we just send them home together at the end of the night.”

In the original stage production, Daniela and Carla do not have a romantic relationship. But after Camila Rosario was taken out of the film adaptation, the creators wanted to make sure there was a healthy family dynamic still in the show. Miranda credits the change to the screenplay writer, Quiara Alegría Hudes, who chose to make Daniela and Carla a couple.

“It was a relationship that was already strong and already wonderful in the stage version of the show and we just kind of canonized that relationship and made them life partners in addition to business partners.”

https://gayety.co/lin-manuel-miranda-in-the-heights-cast-talk-queer-characters

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The two characters were portrayed as close friends in the original musical, though the sexuality of the two characters was not explored.

Daphne Rubin-Vega, who plays Daniela, told Broadway.com of the additions: “Carla and I are girlfriends; we’re partners…. we cohabitate, it’s safe to say.”

Jon M Chu, who is directing the adaptation, confirmed to the outlet: “We’re doubling and tripling down on that [storyline]!”

Referencing a song from the show, Lin-Manuel Miranda tweeted: “Tell ‘em something they don’t know…?‍‍?‍?”.

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2019/12/13/hamilton-creator-lin-manuel-miranda-lesbian-twist-in-the-heights-film/

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MW: In the Heights has so much to say and show about community as a family, the family that you’re born to as well as your chosen family. What is the message that you take away from the film about the families that we make and love?

BEATRIZ: Well, you actually said it best, the families that we make and love, because some of us are lucky enough to be born into families that accept and love us as who we are, and some of us have to find our way to those families. But I think for those of us lucky enough to experience unconditional love from, whether it be blood relatives or friends or people that you’ve invited into your life that love you unconditionally, having that community, that family, that chosen family, really buoys you up as a human being.

The thing we all recognized after the last year and a half of struggling globally through this really difficult time was how much we really rely on human connection and other human beings. And so this film, it’s so strange, the timing of it, but I guess it’s a universal and timeless theme, this idea of family, connection, humanity, and how much we need and rely on each other. I’m so excited for audiences to see this film at this moment in time.

MW: Carla and Daniela obviously are a family unto themselves. Something I appreciate about their part in this story is that they’re fixtures in the community. They’re not in need of refuge, they provide refuge, they provide comfort to people.

BEATRIZ: Many times in media we are presented stories that are about queer characters that automatically connect with dramatic events or sometimes traumatic events, and just one way of seeing people is not all that they are. For example, as someone who is bisexual and grew up with not that much varied bisexual representation in film and television and media, what I thought of as bisexual was, “Oh, no.” I had this idea that, “I can’t possibly be this, because this is over-sexualized, hyper-sexualized, villainous, duplicitous. I’m none of those things, and yet I feel that I am and identify as bisexual, and yet the characters that are presented to me in the media that I’m consuming reflects back to me that I’m bad. That somehow, at my core, there’s something wrong with me.”

What’s really cool about [In the Heights] is that in this very subtle way, you see these characters that are this functioning, happy, loving pair that are pillars in their community, and, in each other’s company, they are the best version of themselves, and other people actually flock to them because they make other people the best version of themselves. How lovely and thrilling to have that be gently sewn into the fabric of this entire community. Abuela Claudia accepts and loves them, Usnavi accepts and loves them, all of the characters take them for who they are. There’s no judgment, there’s no questioning, there’s no, “Eew, I don’t know.”

There’s none of that, which is so refreshing to see that on film, because that’s what my life is mostly like. Most of my friends accept and love me just the way that I am, there’s no questioning or weirdness. Maybe there’s some curiosity, but there’s never any drama or trauma around it for me in my chosen family. In its subtlety, it’s so special.

MW: It seems subtle to me because I wake up with a man, but it won’t be so subtle to everyone that we meet Carla and Daniela waking up together, which is really great.

BEATRIZ: Waking up together, yeah. It’s so lovely to see. It’s so, “Oh,” it establishes it so perfectly, so beautifully, so quickly, and so clearly.

MW: The film diverges from the stage musical in several ways that we won’t spoil here, but one way is that Carla and Daniela were not presented as a couple in the stage show. So, especially as somebody who identifies as queer, how important was that change in the film for you? Would you have been as interested if Carla and Daniela were cousins or best buddies?

BEATRIZ: I didn’t know that that decision was made until I was already cast, so it was something that I was really excited about once I heard that Quiara Alegría Hudes, the writer [of both versions], was thinking about this idea that, “Well, they’re already partners at work, what about if they were life partners as well? They’re such a unit.” It made sense to her in this new iteration of the story to make them a couple. And, like I said, I was already cast. I wanted to be a part of this film really badly because it is such an incredible piece of art, and it was like a dream to think, “I could work with Jon M. Chu.” I just think he’s such a special, incredible filmmaker. I saw Crazy Rich Asians too many times in the theater. I just think what he does is so special, and only he does it that way. He’s got such a magical lens through which he views the world. And so when I found out that Quiara was thinking about making this change, I was so excited and so supportive, and just fucking pumped that there was a possibility that they might be a gay couple, and the fact that they ran with it, it speaks volumes to the filmmakers, the producers, everyone at Warner Bros. that trusted that [the] storyline fit in this world.

MW: How much did it help that for a lot of the work you were doing, you’re in partnership with a master of musical theater in Daphne Rubin-Vega?

BEATRIZ: I found out that she was cast the same day that I found out that I was cast. My agents told me on the phone, “Daphne Rubin-Vega is going to be playing Daniela,” and I lost my shit. I mean I absolutely lost it. I had pictures of her all over the back of my bedroom door when I was a teenager. Rent was one of the first times that I really understood that there was a possibility that I, too, could be an actor, that I could do this as a profession and succeed, because she was so phenomenal in that role, and it was this worldwide moment where her talent — the talent of everyone in that show — but her talent and what she brought to the role by being herself, everyone saw it. Everyone acknowledged that that was a seminal moment in American theater and in American theater history, and it just made me feel like it was possible for me, too. She was an idol of mine.

I was a fucking mess the first day of rehearsal. I was just like, “Oh, no,” because I was so — I don’t want to say intimidated, because she’s not an intimidating person, but I was just so nervous to meet her. It was meeting one of my idols. And then to work with her was so amazing, awe-inspiring, eye-opening. She has a very different process than I do, but I learned a ton by watching her. She’s incredibly professional, and her voice sounds just amazing in this film.

I’m so excited for her to have this moment on film because she is so good, and she’s so good in this role. It’s really amazing. It’s like watching a priestess or something at work. You’re just watching something that you’re like, “I don’t understand how you’re doing this, but I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

MW: The word that came to me as you were describing that was “undeniable.”

BEATRIZ: Undeniable, yes. She’s an undeniable talent, presence, human being. She’s incredible.

https://www.metroweekly.com/2021/06/stephanie-beatriz-brings-queer-representation-to-in-the-heights-and-bids-farewell-to-brooklyn-nine-nine/

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Stephanie Beatriz is intimately familiar with the power of media representation. Growing up, she was inspired to become an actor by Daphne Rubin-Vega, who was the first Latina on Broadway she connected with. Now, because the universe has a wonderful sense of humor, she’s starring as Rubin-Vega’s partner in what’s sure to be the movie of the summer, Jon M. Chu’s In the Heights, based on Lin-Manuel Miranda and Quiara Alegría Hudes’s Tony Award-winning musical about a Latinx community in Manhattan’s Washington Heights neighborhood.

“The soundtrack of Rent [in which Rubin-Vega played Mimi] really provided me a doorway in to see the musical,” Beatriz remembers. “My family didn’t have money to go take a trip to New York so I could see a Broadway show, but I could get the soundtrack at the library and listen to it over and over.”

Unlike in the stage version of In the Heights, in the film, Beatriz’s character Carla is in a lesbian relationship with Daniela (Rubin-Vega), the owner of the salon she works at. For Beatriz, it was a full-circle moment.

“I grew up with a poster of [RubinVega] on my wall,” the bisexual actress confesses. “I had the cover of Newsweek that she was on with Adam Pascal taped to the back of my door in high school. And to me, she’s really legendary. So to make the jump as an actor to being in love with her was not hard for me at all, because she’s charming, very distinct, specific, beautiful.”

Beatriz adds, “I layered that in as much as I could, especially if Daniela is talking.” So it wasn’t difficult for Beatriz to portray her character Carla as “enraptured, glued, like it’s a master class, just watching it all unfold, watching Daniela’s personality take over the space of a room and the ambiance.”

She continues, “Any time Daniela might have a doubt, it’s Carla who steps up to the plate and tells her, whether it’s in her ear or out loud to everyone in the room, ‘You got this.’ I just loved that very much because I think that’s a real characteristic of a healthy relationship — one in which your partner sees the possibilities in you, sometimes when you don’t even see them yourself, believes that you are incredible, amazing, talented, the Lady Gaga list.”

Beatriz is especially excited to play a queer character in a movie where there’s no homophobia. When you see scenes with Carla and Daniela together, especially in the salon, you see, “lots of different shades of people, lots of different shapes of people, and different sexualities, and different expressions of self. That’s a safe space,” she says. “I think in many communities, the beauty parlor is a safe space, especially in Latino communities.”

It’s refreshing for the film to invite viewers into the life Daniela and Carla have created where everyone around them is accepting, “whether or not we know about their extended families is not the point of this,” Beatriz says.

“It’s really the family that they’ve created, the home that they’ve created in Washington Heights, is an accepting, loving place where they thrive.”

https://www.out.com/print/2021/6/09/stephanie-beatriz-helping-queer-latina-visibility-reach-new-heights

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But Chu and screenwriter Quiara Alegría Hudes have also crafted another new, inclusive element with two beloved characters.

Beauty salon owner Daniela and hairdresser Carla, while portrayed as coworkers and gossip buddies in Lin-Manuel Miranda and Hudes’ stage musical, will also be romantic partners on the big screen. Rent Tony nominee Daphne Rubin-Vega and Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Stephanie Beatriz play the two, respectively, in the movie.

Chu and Rubin-Vega had previously confirmed the evolution of the characters’ dynamic. At a recent press event celebrating the release of the latest two trailers, Beatriz discussed the significance of the decision. “What was so gratifying to me as a person who is queer is to see this relationship in the film be part of the fabric of the community,” Beatriz says, “and to be normal, and be happy and functioning, and part of the quilt they’ve all created.”

She continues: “So much of this film is about where home is and who home is to you. And for Carla, Daniela is home. Wherever Daniela is, that’s where Carla feels at home.”

https://www.playbill.com/article/in-the-heights-stephanie-beatriz-on-introducing-queer-element-to-the-movie-with-2-fan-favorite-characters

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Rubin-Vega said she had no interest in playing any trope of what one might think a lesbian Latina might look or act like, noting that the queer experience isn’t monolithic, while expressing that the role offered her a newfound freedom, especially with regard to being present in the role and in her everyday life.

“Spoiler alert! I felt like not wearing a bra was going to free me. Did I get it right? Am I saying that gay women don’t wear bras? No, it was just a way for me to be in my body and feel my breasts. To feel my femaleness and celebrate it in a more unapologetic way,” she said, laughing. “To be honest, I was really looking forward to playing a lesbian Latina. It’s something that I hadn’t really explored before. Latinos [can be] very homophobic as a culture, and I wanted to play someone who didn’t care about homophobia; I was gonna live my best life. That’s a bigger thing. It’s also like, maybe I’m bisexual. Who knows? Who cares? If you see that in the film, that’s cool too, you know?”

https://encoremonthly.com/hitting-new-heights/

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Let’s talk about your characters, Daniela and Carla. In the original Broadway production they ran the beauty salon together but their relationships has changed a bit for the movie hasn’t it, what do they mean to each other?

Stephanie: “They live together, they’re partners at work, they’re life partners, they love each other. To put a real clear stamp on it, they’re gay as all get-out! They’re gay, they’re queer, and they love each other and they’re this functioning, happy couple that work together, live together and have made a home with each other, for each other, and in each other. I personally love that it’s layered so subtly into the film because I think many times when we see queer characters, gay characters, we’re focusing on the stuff in their lives that’s hard for them and in this film, I think we’re focusing on the fact that, there’s hard stuff in the community for everyone, but there’s also joy and the ability to celebrate life, even though that hard stuff is going on around you.”

Daphne, as Stephanie mentioned it is quite subtle and I like that about it too. As their relationship isn’t explicitly addressed in the dialogue how did you express their love for one another and that intimacy through things like the body language and the dance as well?

Daphne: “Like Stephanie said, we were just a couple who care about each other so I think that that reflects in the body language. It was really wonderful to be able to have the freedom and ability to portray a character that loves who she loves without all of the sort of social stuff around it. They had to deal with adversity and challenges but being gay is not one of them.”

“Their gayness is also is not an issue for Abuela Claudia or Usnavi, or anyone else in the community. These are women who are loved and trusted, and respected; they’re protectors of their community, and kids are allowed in the salon, as are trans folks, whoever you are, if you want to get a weave, you can get a weave or nails, and who you sleep with, it’s so not about that.”

https://thequeerreview.com/2021/06/08/exclusive-interview-daphne-rubin-vega-stephanie-beatriz-on-their-queer-in-the-heights-characters-lgbtq/

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Daphne Rubin-Vega is Daniela, the pint-sized ruler (with a massive-sized voice) of In the Height’s Washington Heights block. Perched from the top of her five-inch tacones as she delivers hot gossip and a loving touch in equal measure. In the original stage production, Carla (Beatriz) is Daniela’s comedic sidekick, working alongside Cuca (Orange is the New Black’s Dascha Polanco) in Daniela’s beauty salon. In the film, Cuca and Carla’s antics remain, but Carla is also re-developed as Daniela’s romantic partner with quiet, lived-in moments across the week of one block’s summer heatwave.

So the three of us got together as the sun was setting on the East Coast to talk about the history of Latinas and lesbians in musical theatre, welcoming the ancestors into our space, and finding love in the small moments of the everyday. (We talked over each other a bunch, but if you’ve ever sat across from a table of your tías and primas on a Saturday night in the summer, you already know the vibes.)

Carmen Phillips: First of all, I just wanted to say before we got officially started, I mean, I’m just beyond myself to be able to meet both of you! It means just the most to me. Daphne — I saw you in Rent when I was 12 years old and it was something that changed my life, which I’m sure you hear all the time and it’s not unique anymore, but it did.

Daphne Rubin-Vega: [brings hands together] Thank you. It’s a pleasure.

Carmen: Hi. Okay. We can start!

Daphne: Hi!

Stephanie Beatriz: Carmen. I’ve literally done the same thing to her. I feel I might’ve done it on the first day I met her. I was just… [is at a loss for words]

Carmen: I feel probably lots of people tell you that, but I will never get a chance to tell you.

Daphne: No, you’ve gotta tell me! Yeah.

Carmen: Thank you.

And obviously, Stephanie. I mean, you’re a huge… Autostraddle is just a very big fan, all the time, so you already know that. Thank you both.

I wanted to start this interview at sort of the beginning of the process. I’ve been trying to read what you have said thus far about playing Daniela and Carla but I haven’t seen anyone ask this.

Obviously both characters are presumed straight in the original stage production of In the Heights. When you auditioned or otherwise introduced to the roles, were you already aware that they were being re-imagined as queer women? Or was that something you found out after? What was that process like?

Stephanie: I found out after!

I found out that it was even on the table — it was, “This might happen” — And I was so excited! And I voiced how excited I was IMMEDIATELY! I was like, “I think this is a great idea. I absolutely support it 100%. If you try to do that, I’m 100% in support.”

Daphne: Yeah. Yeah. For me, I had already gotten the role and so Daniela’s sexuality didn’t factor into a performance at all. Her humanity certainly did.

So after I got the role… Quiara [Alegría Hudes] called me and said, “How would you feel if Daniela… Instead of Carla just being her business partner, she’s her life partner as well.” And I remember being jolted by the change and thinking, “Yeah, fuck yeah. Of course.”

Quiara never ceases to amaze me with her elevation of the storytelling and humanity in its different incarnations.

Carmen: I think this really brings me into this next question. Daphne what you were just saying — for you, it was about elevating this humanity. And in one of the interviews I’d been reading, Stephanie had the chance to talk about [the relationship between Daniela and Carla], and she said “So much of the film is about where home is. And for Carla, Daniela is home.”

Stephanie: Yes.

Carmen: That got me thinking about what a moment this is that you’re both of entering into.

I did some research in our database and from what we can tell, in all of film history, there’ve only been 18 movie musicals that have had lesbian or bisexual characters. Period. Not even 20!! And of course, when you start thinking about…

Daphne: I was in three of them.

Carmen: Oh You sure were.

Daphne: Oh, whoa.

Stephanie: That’s… I just…

Carmen: And there’s nothing like In the Heights, when we shift our focus to think about the history Latinx film. And I’m sure you all know, the entire community’s buzzing, right? My mom is going, it’s the first movie she’s going to see in a movie theater in 18 months.

People are just dying for it, and I think going back to the conversation about what home is… I’m wondering what it feels like, for both of you, to be kind of sitting in this historic intersection, right?

This is going to be a film that really is going to exist on a planet of its own. And we’re going to see queer Latinas represented in that moment. I wondered if that’s something you’ve thought about? Or if it’s not even a thing that’s on your plate at all.

Stephanie: I’ve thought about it a lot!

I’ve thought about how this moment means something — but it will be so much more meaningful in 5, 10, 15, 20 years, when even more titles are in that database. Even more of these films have been made, even more of these stories have been told. Even more of these characters have been represented on screen, in television, in film, in all types of media.

It’s very exciting to think that we could possibly be a part of… a moment of someone looking at these performances or this film and going, “Oh, of course. Oh yes, yes. Of course. Why not? What was I thinking? Of course that exists in the planet.”

That’s a really thrilling thing to have the privilege of being a part of.

Daphne: Yeah. I fully agree. I mean, as an actress, it’s what we do. It’s my calling to embody characters that are not like me, to represent the humanity of who they are. And I think, that’s a really loaded thing for me, in my culture [Rubin-Vega is Panamanian]. Not my culture, in Latino culture, in particular.

In my country of origin, I find it’s struggled very much with homophobia and racism. Colonization, it changed the entire country, right? That’s our history. So without putting judgment on it, I think it’s really incredible, what we’re able to do here.

And Stephanie said it before, how queer stories, or stories of people who were marginalized, are made to be othered in certain ways. The stories of those who aren’t centered are then either shown as dramatic or traumatic, she said.

And in this instance, it’s neither dramatic nor traumatic! It’s so regular, it’s so basic, it just is. It’s just… “Yeah.” Yes, and it’s really not that deep and so we’re not playing queer characters, we’re playing human.

Stephanie: Also queer.

Daphne and Carmen in unison: Yeah!

Stephanie: There are people who miss it, honestly! I’ve definitely had the experience where I’m perhaps reading a review or I’m listening to someone’s experience about watching the film and they’re not even… They’re not even… [gestures like a plane flying overhead]… “Whoop.” It just flew by their face.

Whereas, for those of us who were paying attention because we’re trying to find ourselves on film, we see it immediately.

Carmen: I mean, this interview will run the day movie comes out, so I don’t want to reach too far into spoilers. But there’s a scene! It’s before the opening number, right? It’s before “In the Heights” begins. It’s intimate, playful. And I zeroed in right away, I was like, “Oh, we’re really here.”

And I think… so much of the movie is moving in ways you don’t expect, because it is so the everyday. But we never get to see OUR every day on screen. You know what I mean?

Daphne: Yes.

Carmen: And Stephanie, the question I wanted to ask you is, obviously you are very aware of how, again revered — which is why I say these last two questions for last! — you are in queer women’s communities. There’s the iconic Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine. And I think one of the things that everyone, at least everyone I know, is really excited about is to get to see you play a queer Latina again.

I was personally excited because it’s just a different way to use your comic timing. Carla’s very different from Rosa. I was very curious about what that felt like for you to create these two really distinct queer Latina characters.

Stephanie: That’s really kind, first of all. So thank you for saying that.

I think, one of the things that’s been really fun for me about the process of shooting In the Heights — and creating my iteration of that character — was that it brought me back to the feeling that I used to have in Repertory Company, when I did a lot of theater. And I’d have a season where I was playing a bunch of small roles in a funny, new comedy by Culture Clash. And then I also was playing Maggie the Cat in Tennessee Williams’ Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Carmen: wow.

Stephanie: And then maybe the next season I was Isabella in Measure for Measure and also playing another… I mean, Rep Company really teaches you… It can teach you how to use yourself in all of these different kinds of ways. And it’s one of my favorite things about being an actor is kind of using different facets of myself to help create these characters and bring them to life. And turning up the volume on certain parts of my personality and turning it way down on other parts, right?

I’m really excited for audiences to see me in a different way, I guess, it’s cool.

And I’m pumped at the confusion factor that comes along with that, right. Because I think people get confused when they meet me in real life sometimes because they expect Rosa Diaz.

Carmen: Right.

Stephanie: And I’m excited for the confusion factor that will come with, “Wait, that can’t be the same person that plays that character, right?” I love that, I live for that. I live for the confusion of, “Wait a minute, what?”

Carmen: I knew you were going to kill it. When I heard you got cast as Carla, I was, “Oh, that’s perfect.” Because, I mean, I really think your gift for comedic timing, it’s unparalleled.

Stephanie: [mumbles to self] Thank you very much.

Carmen: And Carla’s a small part that, I mean, is already memorable. It’s a small part with a big bang. You know what I mean? Like that is… [Carmen and Stephanie crosstalk, there’s never enough crosstalk].

Stephanie: I’m lucky, I’m very lucky.

https://www.autostraddle.com/daphne-rubin-vega-stephanie-beatriz-in-the-heights-interview-daniela-carla/

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Beatriz’s career is soaring to even greater heights this June, as she’s stepping into Carla’s shoes in In The Heights, which sets itself apart from the musical with a few key changes such as the decision to have Carla and salon owner Daniela (Daphne Rubin-Vega) be in a committed relationship. Beatriz considers it a “brilliant shift” to the original storyline. “To have Carla and Daniela be gay and layered into that community and be totally accepted, not struggling to be heard, or fighting because they’re out, or not being accepted by the people they love, but just part of the family, I just love that,” Beatriz explains.

It’s through LGBTQ+ representation in TV and film that Beatriz believes art can usher in positive change. It’s a discussion she is trailblazing with her refreshingly honest and nuanced portrayals of LGBTQ+ characters, like Rosa and Carla. “Art is the way to move humanity forward,” she says. “When you create art, there’s a possibility for creating empathy in other people. That’s really what it’s all about. You can’t start to see someone as your equal, or as a fellow human being that deserves all the same rights as you do, if you don’t see them in the first place. If you don’t see them anywhere around you, how will you know that they’re just the same as you? ... We really want all the same things in life: to feel happy, to be seen, to feel safe, to feel love. And we all deserve them.”

https://www.bustle.com/entertainment/stephanie-beatriz-pride-advice-pregnant-brooklyn-99-in-the-heights

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Rubin-Vega says that incorporating the queer story, emphasizing the plight of Dreamers, and focusing on brown and Black communities is “decolonizing cinema" and she's here for it.

“What other way are we going to address the structural oppression that has been perpetuated? How are we going to move it?” Rubin-Vega says of storytelling as a tool. “It’s an honor to play a character that has a lot of life,” she says of Daniela. “As you know, when I was just starting in theater, these roles didn't exist.”

“To play a woman that loves another woman is an honor to me. The symbolism of the salon. It's like the spiritual liberal hub. It's also like the gossip hub,” she says.

“We're just finding the language with how they would dress. You know, having to stop the stereotyping right [of queer women and queer Latinx people]? Musical theater is so extra. What a wonderful way to have extra-ness. And you know, and not be offended by tropes that use tropes as a way in,” she adds.

“We [Daniela and Carla] love each other … [it’s] ordinary, not extraordinary. It's just normal that these women get to be fully unapologetically in a community that we know has baggage around all the phobias, baggage around all the cultural trauma.”

Miranda’s story has always been about the beauty of a community and home — Rubin-Vega likens his rhymes to the impact of Shakespeare’s iambic pentameter.

In an interview with Broadway World, Beatriz says, “So much of this film is about where home is and who home is to you. And for Carla, Daniela is home. Wherever Daniela is, that’s where Carla feels at home.”

Rubin-Vega concurs. “I could not put it more beautifully than Stephanie. We didn't talk about our relationship. We just had the relationship,” she says. “Not only am I a fan of her work, but I'm a fan of hers. After knowing Stephanie, it's just like, Yeah, that's my girl. That's my boo. I feel that relationship ownership. I do have that I can honestly [say].”

A theater and film veteran who’s starred in Rent, Jack Goes Boating, Anna in the Tropics, and so much more, Rubin-Vega discusses the role of LGBTQ+ allyship.

“People in my life are [the] gay people in my life, like, a lot of people. I also have a bit of a hard time with the word ally because it is a verb, it's not a static noun. And [being an ally] is a constant behavior. It is a way of being in the world that is like breathing. And it's a consciousness for some of us more than others who have had been in so much privilege and living in supremacy.”

Daniela is presented as an integral piece of the Washington Heights community in Miranda’s story and Chu’s film. But the implications of that representation run deep. And Rubin-Vega has thought long and hard about it.

“Playing a lesbian — I can honestly think [about] my family legacy and just wonder how many unhappy ancestors I had,” who perhaps couldn’t live their authentic lives because of stigma, she says. “It's not something to get depressed about. It’s something to live toward when we represent our fullness.”

https://www.advocate.com/exclusives/2021/6/10/heightss-daphne-rubin-vega-ushering-queer-characters

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In “In the Heights,” Rubin-Vega plays Daniela, co-owner of a neighborhood hair salon with her life partner Carla (Stephanie Beatriz). The two were made queer for the film after being portrayed as straight co-workers in the stage show. Screenwriter Quiara Alegría Hudes called to tell Rubin-Vega about the updated relationship. “She’s like, ‘How do you feel about that?’” Rubin-Vega recalls. “I’m like, ‘I’m loving it.’

“Daniela is a high priestess of bad-assery,” she continues. “She’s a part of the person that I aspire to be, which is fully herself, making no apologies for who she is. She probably has earned her right to claim her fullness — self-empowered, self-employed, she has her own business. She touches other people’s heads, which is kind of a sacred thing in our culture, that we let people touch our heads.”

https://variety.com/2021/film/columns/in-the-heights-daphne-rubin-vega-1234991860/

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“Yes. Carla’s my life partner. There’s not a plot line about us being partners, but it’s very evident. Like, we’re just human beings that have chosen each other. So that there’s a representation."

https://www.nbcnewyork.com/entertainment/the-scene/new-york-live/dishing-with-daphne-rubin-vega/3063551/

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Beatriz is also playing salon worker Carla in the new film adaptation of Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony Award-winning musical, In the Heights. Beatriz, who is openly bisexual, is excited that her character is in a same-sex relationship with fellow salon worker Daniela (Daphne Rubin-Vega), in the film -- a change from the Broadway show.

"In the original production, Carla and Daniela were simply work partners, but in this iteration, [screenplay writer] Quiara [Alegria Hudes] and [director] John [M. Chu] and [original playwright] Lin-[Manuel Miranda] all felt really strongly that they should be life partners are well," Beatriz shared. "What's really great for me as someone who is queer, as a member of the queer community, who is bisexual, is to see that rep in a film where it's just layered into the community, sort of in the background. And they're this really functional, fun, happy, funny couple that just happen to be gay."

https://www.kmov.com/stephanie-beatriz-teases-what-brooklyn-nine-nine-fans-can-expect-in-shows-final-season-exclusive/article_208dd9b5-dde4-5814-9c17-2b5e3e8defac.html

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What do you find most interesting about Daniela?

Every shred of me was excited about playing this role. I'd worked with Quiara in Miss You Like Hell, and because of my history with Quiara and Lin, I knew about In the Heights and saw it. Daniela is such a powerful character. She's diminutive, but you can feel her presence whenever she walks into a room. It was interesting to further explore her relationship with Carla, her life partner and business partner, and her dynamic with Cuca and the rendition of the salon in a filmic way. There were no restrictions with Quiara, Lin, and Jon.

Women often have an ambivalent relationship with ambition, so it's interesting to think about it within the context of the movie. Was that something you thought of when you were shaping your take on Daniela?

I don't know if ambitious people call themselves ambitious. I consider myself ambitious, but what's the ambition? The ambition is to live a full life. The ambition is to live a complete, free, unapologetic life where I can love who I want to love and live where I want to live, do what I love to do, wear what I want to wear, and have friends I want. If that's ambition, isn't that the American way, the pursuit of happiness? I think that Daniela, because of her appearance, her attitude is amplified, but if she looked different, she'd be a regular strong chick. Her choices wouldn't be questioned; she'd be pragmatic. She's priced out of the barrio that she loves. She'll be present in some ways, but her business will be gone.

https://www.theatermania.com/new-york-city-theater/news/interview-daphne-rubin-vega-on-portraying-daniela_92380.html

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MW: Yeah, Carla is not Rosa at all. I would also say that your characters tend to sound distinctly different. How do you find a voice for a character?

BEATRIZ: I think that’s part of the fun. I spent a long time, as a kid, with lots of time on my hands. My parents worked a lot, and my sister and I would often come home and watch ourselves, and one of the things that we did at home was we had this Fisher-Price recorder. It was a little tape deck, and I don’t know where we got it, but you could put a tape in and record yourself. We had a few blank tapes, but we also taped over a lot of my mom and dad’s music — sorry, Mom and Dad — but we would record ourselves doing shows, like radio shows, where we would do different voices, we would interview ourselves, we would interview each other, we just screwed around.

But, in doing that, it was us finding funny and weird voices and stuff. That was the beginning of me acting, I think, playing around with that tape recorder by myself. And I think it’s just a really fun thing for me to do voiceovers and voices, and find my way into a character through sound. It’s one of the things that was so fun about being in In the Heights, was the music and finding my way into the character musically, and basing character choices on what Lin had already written in the music. I think that’s so fun. And the musicality of language is something that I’ve always been drawn to and interested in.

https://www.metroweekly.com/2021/06/stephanie-beatriz-brings-queer-representation-to-in-the-heights-and-bids-farewell-to-brooklyn-nine-nine/

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The beauty of upper Manhattan is on glorious display at a hair and nail salon featured in the movie musical “In the Heights.”

Daphne Rubin-Vega, Stephanie Beatriz and Dascha Polanco help capture the culture and values of a Latino neighborhood in Washington Heights through the women who run the popular salon.

“They provide an example of how people in your community can become part of your family, really your chosen family, and that those people are deeply invested in not only seeing you succeed, but really seeing you thrive as a person,” Beatriz, 40, told the Daily News.

“They also provide this incredibly safe, loving space, particularly for the women in this story, but really for all of the characters. ... It’s this incredible place of celebrating beauty of all kinds.”

The salon serves as a central hub of the film premiering Wednesday at the Tribeca Film Festival before arriving Thursday in theaters and on HBO Max.

Adapted from Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Broadway musical, “In the Heights” brings back the fan-favorite salon ladies Daniela, played by Rubin-Vega, and Carla, portrayed by Beatriz, while introducing Polanca’s Cuca as a new character.

The stars agree the salon represents much more than a place to get a makeover.

“It symbolizes dreams,” Polanco, 38, told The News. “Small-business owners. What we like to call iconic figures within our community. They’re like hood celebrities, legends, what can I tell you? They’re there, and they have everybody’s back.”

“In the Heights” takes viewers inside the colorful salon during the lively song “No Me Diga.” But the women are also depicted outside the salon as significant figures within a neighborhood where every resident strives toward big goals.

Daniela, Carla and Cuca kick off the standout song-and-dance number “Carnaval del Barrio,” during which characters sing with reverence about their homelands.

“It’s a celebration of life in the face of all kinds of adversity,” Rubin-Vega, 51, told The News. “This determination to be joyous, and how powerful that in itself is. Yeah, it is beautiful to see flags flying and everybody going, ‘Oh, there I am!’ But more than that, it’s just that feeling of belonging.”

The “In the Heights” stage musical introduces Daniela and Carla as work partners, and the movie updates their relationship to be life partners as well.

“It’s just part of the background of the film, and that’s really vital, I think, for [LGBTQ] audiences to see themselves be part of the fabric of the film, and not necessarily have their stories always be coming-out stories or always be tragic stories or always be stories that are fraught with drama,” Beatriz said.

The actors felt personal connections to their characters. Beatriz, who was born in Argentina, remembers her mother befriending fellow customers and staffers at the salon she went to after moving to the U.S.

Polanco recalls her visits to a local salon when she was young, and loves how “In the Heights” covers that aspect of the community.

“It’s what instills confidence. It’s what instills trust, and amongst these three ladies, that’s what they give back to everyone else,” Polanco said. “In this community of Washington Heights, this is where they go to release, to motivate, to express, to get advice, to make harsh decisions, to console. It’s a revolving door of what I [call] noncertified therapy.”

https://www.wyomingnews.com/features/movies/in-the-heights-stars-share-what-the-movie-s-salon-ladies-represent/article_e2f853ed-978a-562d-8aaa-fc48b73b709f.html

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(Not specifically about the romantic relationship, but a great article about Daniela, Carla, and Cuca.)

Stephanie Beatriz, Dascha Polanco, and Daphne Rubin-Vega Are the Holy Trinity of In the Heights“

We were the witches with a cauldron, stirring the pot,” says Rubin-Vega of the trio, who reunited to chat about dance numbers, bodega orders, and the best kind of gossip.

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2021/06/in-the-heights-stephanie-beatriz-dascha-polanco-daphne-rubin-vega

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I love that your character is a part of this trio of neighborhood divas that are just so much fun. What was your relationship like with Stephanie Beatriz and Dascha Polanco and how much fun did you guys have together?

RUBIN-VEGA: Oh my goodness! Doing nothing with them was fun. Ad-libbing was fun. I don’t think anyone’s funnier than Stephanie and Dascha, and when they’re together, it’s just nonstop. There’s also a realness. We all come from places and spaces where we had to outlast the negativity to get where we got, so that creates a certain energy in a human being that is irresistible because we’re really happy to be here.

https://collider.com/daphne-rubin-vega-in-the-heights-interview/

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Salon Squad

“I could do those costumes for the rest of my life and still find new things to do with them,” Travers said about designing for Daniela (Daphne Rubin-Vega), Carla (Stephanie Beatriz), and Cuca (Dascha Polanco). This adaptation has added a romantic dynamic between Daniela and Carla, which Travers incorporated in costumes he envisioned Carla had borrowed from Daniela’s closet — “maybe it was a windbreaker she had from 20 years ago; now it’s vintage to Carla.” One reference point for the salon owner, he says, is Sex and the City designer Patricia Field. “Pat is such a fearless risk-taker when it comes to her own personal style and also her body of work is quite fearless,” Travers explains. “We took a light inspiration from Pat herself, just in terms of that risk-taking and the combinations of high and low.” Daniela’s powerhouse status includes a nod to Rosie the Riveter for her biggest musical number and Travers also points out that while this character’s wide-leg leopard print pants felt like a risky move at the time, “of course, now, fashion is all about the big pant.”

Meanwhile, Carla has “much more of an Instagram sensibility” with a Nikita Dragun influence. The streetwear-inspired sneakers, bike shorts, and crop top athletic spirit go further than “dress for likes” on social media, “there is heart in it.” Rounding out the trio is Cuca who wears a “head-to-toe [look] Monday through Sunday.” Describing this character as “unbelievably fun to dress,” he explains that if she is wearing a printed dress then her fanny pack, socks, and scrunchie will match. Travers’ favorite salon squad costume moment was creating a weekend nightclub look that resulted in a strong unifying motif: “Three women in jumpsuits — no dresses — just jumpsuits going out. I had such fun as a costume designer getting to express a similar idea through three very different sets of eyes.”

https://www.vulture.com/article/in-the-heights-costume-designer-interview.html

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Who was your first celebrity crush?

First celebrity crush was actually Daphne Rubin-Vega, from Rent. That was a cool, NOT AWKWARD moment when I met her for the first time ever, in real life. I was sweating, I was like AHH YOU’RE SO AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL I USED TO HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU ON MY WALL, I’M SO SORRY THIS IS WEIRD. But it was also awesome. Of course I mentioned to Daphne that she was my crush. And I did it in the most awkward way possible, which is just, you know, right up my alley. I was like DAPHNE I LOVE YOU, right in her face. Which was awesome, and made for a really, really NOT AWKWARD rehearsal environment, at all. She likes me now, though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK7YLaUULG8&ab_channel=BuzzFeedCeleb

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#daniela and carla #daniela x carla #in the heights #stephanie beatriz #daphne rubin-vega #i told you i was obsessed #i can't ever just be a normal shipper i have to do THE MOST #i have to be THE BEST at shipping #such an idiot

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outrunningthedark · 3 years

Note

The whole Buckley family has been emotionally abusive and neglecful of Buck. And yes, sadly this includes maddie . Eddie and Christopher are the ones who taught him and showed him what unconditional love and family really means. They never abandoned him, not like his blood family did.

I'm gonna take the general premise of this message and use it to explain how Buck and Eddie (and Christopher!) changed each other's lives for the better. - When Eddie moves to LA and joins the 118, he is still reeling from his wife walking out Christopher, and also trying to build a life for Christopher that will get Helena and Ramon off his back. Eddie encounters Buck, and even though they don't have the most auspicious of starts, something about Buck makes Eddie believe he can trust him with personal information: Christopher's existence and how Shannon is no longer around. - The ease with which Buck absorbed everything further encourages Eddie to reveal even more pieces of his life. He allowed Buck to accompany him to the hospital when they thought Christopher was unwell, he introduced him to Pepa, and LEFT THEM ALONE while he went across the room to hug his son. Do we honestly believe it didn't occur to Eddie that Pepa might disclose even more "secrets"? Maybe...he didn't care if she did, because it meant he wouldn't have to do it later? - The conversation between Buck and Pepa (and possibly/probably) Buck and Eddie at some point that day) inspires Buck to contact his friend Carla and ask her to assist Eddie in navigating the hurdles that come with trying to provide for a child with CP. It with this one action that Buck lifted an invisible weight off of Eddie's shoulders. Eddie finally has someone other than his Abuela and Pepa to look after Christopher when he's at work. He is able to enroll Christopher in a school that will cater to his needs - except for Ana Flores, apparently. 😶 Because Carla has the smarts to acquire whatever help Eddie and Christopher are looking for, Eddie is able to use his extra finances to sign his son up for something "fun" - surfing lessons! (Something Christopher might have missed out on had Eddie still been struggling to pay the bills.) - Unlike Shannon, who left Eddie twice (the second time being when she asked for a divorce), Buck "left" Eddie and Christopher once, for a much shorter period of time, and realized his mistake. Not only that, he owned up to it! ("We're way past that, Buck." // "I'm not.") Eddie found somebody who made it a priority to have HIS back without expecting anything in return. All Eddie ever wanted was somebody who could make him believe he wasn't alone, somebody who wanted to stay for HIM. Not just Christopher. - Buck's close bond with Christopher and desire to protect him from harm makes Eddie realize that there is nobody in the world he trusts more than Buck to fight for Christopher in whatever way he needs. Two, three years ago Eddie intended to (reluctantly) let his family in El Paso have Christopher if he were to die. Now that he's got Buck, there is no hesitation, no question what the right decision is. ******* - Buck meets Eddie after being broken up with. He is angry and lonely, and looking for somewhere to direct these negative feelings. He chooses Eddie. Eddie wins Buck over by complimenting him and saying Buck could have his back any day because they make a good team. Subconsciously (or not! Eddie *does* know what happened between Buck and Abby...), Eddie offers Buck the things he's been searching for: loyalty, trust, and someone who *wants* to be around him, someone who sees the GOOD in him. - Eddie introduces Buck to Christopher and (unknowingly) gives Buck the chance to be the parental figure he lacked. Whatever Phillip Buckley did "wrong" in Buck's eyes, Buck is determined to do the exact opposite so Christopher never has to feel unloved and unwanted. - Eddie and Christopher are there for Buck in the aftermath of his leg surgery and when a blood clot keeps Buck from returning to work. What does Buck have? Buck has Eddie dragging him out of bed so he doesn't get even more depressed. Buck has Eddie bringing his son along because he knows Christopher can make Buck smile just by being himself. - Eddie surprises Buck post-tsunami by bringing Christopher right back to him because "there's nobody in this world I trust

with my son more than you". In doing so, Eddie shows Buck that he is not defined by his "mistakes" or "failures", at least not in Eddie's mind. - Even though Eddie is extremely hurt by Buck's actions re: lawsuit arc, he eventually forgives Buck because he knows deep down that his and Christopher's lives are better when Buck is involved. He gave Buck the reassurance he needed that he still had a place in the Diaz family, he still had people who would welcome him with open arms. - To further prove that Buck can be trusted to care for Christopher in his absence, Eddie lets Buck speak to Christopher alone after he takes an Uber to Buck's apartment. It would have been very easy for Eddie to say, "Wait for me to get there". But he didn't. It is because of Eddie's willingness to share his son with Buck the last three years that Buck felt confident in his ability to make Christopher feel better without seeking advice or staying out of it completely. - Which, of course, leads us to Eddie's revelation that he wants Buck to obtain legal guardianship of Christopher if he were to die. Altering and signing that document ensured that Buck never again has to worry about finding a place to call home. His home is with Christopher. (And Eddie. But we're not there yet. 😛) If you read all of that, here's a star ⭐ as a sign of thanks!

#anonymous #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #buddie #christopher diaz #buckley-diaz boys

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extasiswings · 4 years

Text

How we feeling clowns? Wrecked? Anyway, here, have an episode tag for both the crossover and Buck Begins. Also on ao3.

Eddie’s driving nearly on autopilot, the roads familiar as they get closer and closer to El Paso. Part of him almost wishes he hadn’t taken the driving shift to get them to his childhood home, even if it made the most sense—he can feel the tension in his jaw and shoulders creeping in, curling tighter with every mile they come closer, and his fingers itch for his phone, for the commiserating sympathies of his sisters who understand what he’s likely to walk into much more than Buck or Hen.

Technically they could have skipped the detour. Eddie hadn’t even planned on telling his parents he was coming to Texas at all—it was Christopher who let it slip, and then Eddie had been immediately put on the spot and he hadn’t been able to come up with a good way out of stopping by after his weak deflection that it wasn’t a social trip was met with well, you have to stop and eat somewhere, don’t you.

Sophia told him to lie and say the department said no. But she’s always been much better at lying to their parents outright than he is. Adriana shrugged and said if he didn’t want to go he didn’t need to give them a reason and should just say he wouldn’t be coming. But then, that’s her tactic as well and always has been—putting her foot down to establish hard boundaries, forging her own path and bucking all expectations. Eddie’s always fallen somewhere in the middle, which he supposes is fitting—struggling to set boundaries, often getting there only when pushed, wanting approval but lacking Sophia’s talent for gentle manipulation that usually leads people to think that whatever she wants was their idea.

So. Here he sits. Driving to El Paso.

“Eddie?”

He blinks and clears his throat as he registers Buck’s voice, the edge of concern that says it’s not the first time Buck has called his name.

“Yeah?”

“I was going to ask if you could pass back the aux cord,” Buck says. “But now I think I should ask if you’re okay.”

Eddie glances over his shoulder—Hen is in the back of the truck, head pillowed against the window, dozing with her eyes closed. He swallows.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen my parents is all,” he replies. “And usually when they call it’s to talk to Christopher so...it might be uncomfortable.”

Buck’s voice drops. “Have you talked to them since the thing? Other than about this I guess.”

The Thing, also known as the huge fight they got into when Eddie decided that if he was going to keep working he couldn’t live at home for awhile and they tried to once again insist that he take Chris back to live with them. Like some terrible combination of the arguments they had before he moved to LA and after Shannon’s funeral, only even worse because Eddie had been raw enough over the decision to move in with Buck and let his abuela take care of Chris for awhile and really didn’t need to hear anyone tell him that choice made him a bad parent—

Sophia had been spitting mad when he told her and while he doesn’t know what she said in her own subsequent call to their parents, he knows that the next time they called him, the subject didn’t come up again. Which, he supposes is as close to an apology as he’s ever likely to get.

He probably could have used that as an excuse to not visit. But then, that’s not really how they are. Don’t apologize, pretend you don’t hold grudges, act like everything is fine, and repress until it feels like it is—the Diaz family way.

Eddie sighs as he focuses on the road.

“Not really,” he replies. “They’ve called Christopher every few weeks, but we’ve only talked directly...three times maybe since then? Things seem to go south more quickly when we’re in person though so I guess I’m…”

“Bracing for impact,” Buck fills in quietly. “I get that.”

“Yeah?”

Buck shrugs. “I don’t talk about my parents,” he points out. “Don’t talk to them either if I can avoid it because they always have a way of managing to just—anyway. The last time I even called was after everything with Maddie and Doug. Haven’t seen them since...since before I started with the 118 at least. So. Yeah. I get it.”

He hesitates, then adds, “You know I have your back, right? You’re my best friend and you’re an amazing father. I’m not going to let anybody get away with talking badly about you in front of me, even if they are your parents.”

Eddie glances back and manages a faint smile, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he admits. “Even if you did try to steal a fire truck in the middle of the night without me.”

Buck laughs and shoves at his shoulder. “At least it wasn’t this truck. Besides—you caught up before I did it anyway.”

“Yeah, my Buck’s about to do something dangerous senses were tingling, couldn’t let that slide,” Eddie teases.

“Just give me the damn aux cord,” Buck shoots back, but he’s grinning.

And as they pass the next exit, Eddie feels like maybe things won’t be quite so bad.

***

Buck hates Eddie’s parents.

It’s not the most charitable thing to think about someone you’ve only just officially met—he saw them at the ceremony when Eddie passed his probationary period, but he’d been on pretty strong painkillers at the time and Maddie had shuffled him back home as soon as possible—but he really does.

He hates the tense, anxious set of Eddie’s shoulders, hates the way his smile looks forced—it triggers the same fierce, protective instinct that rears its head whenever he gets between his parents and Maddie, and, well, he did promise, so—

He really doesn’t feel bad for interrupting the very first digs about how seeing Christopher over video isn’t the same as in person, but it’s nice to have the option and technology really is wonderful, Zoom calls must have been a great improvement from your army days, right son with—

“You know, it is wonderful isn’t it? Did Eddie tell you how amazing Christopher is handling hybrid learning? It’s really so great how his teachers have adapted, I can’t imagine he would have kept up so well anywhere else.”

Buck smiles brightly as Eddie’s mother’s lips thin. Hen coughs and takes a long sip of lemonade. Eddie blinks in surprise from across the table and clears his throat, grasping at the lifeline.

“Yeah, top of his class,” Eddie says.

“He even has a reading group once a week with some of the other kids in his class that Eddie started to help them stay social. I know a lot of the other parents appreciate it,” Buck adds, and Eddie rubs at the back of his neck.

“We definitely do,” Hen says, glancing at Eddie’s father as she clarifies, “I have a son Christopher’s age. They used to play together all the time before all of this.”

“His therapist said kids are resilient, but I wanted to at least try and give him something normal,” Eddie replies, and his mother’s brows raise.

“Christopher is in therapy?” There’s a note in her tone that makes Eddie tense and Buck’s hackles raise.

“I took him to see someone for a few sessions after Shannon died, mom,” Eddie says evenly. After the tsunami, Buck fills in for himself. “It didn’t seem like a bad idea to go back again to make sure he’s okay during a time that’s pretty unprecedented for just about everyone.”

“Really, I think more parents should send their kids to therapy,” Buck interjects. “If it’s a feasible option, I can’t see that it’s anything other than great parenting to make sure your kid has the best tools they can to take care of their mental health.”

God knows if he’d gone to therapy a hell of a lot sooner, he might not be struggling through sessions with Dr. Copeland now that he’s nearly thirty, but that’s not really the point.

“Well, some people feel those sorts of things are best taken care of within the family,” Eddie’s mother replies.

“With all due respect, sometimes the family’s way of handling problems just makes things worse,” Buck replies, his smile dropping briefly before he forces it back again.

“This lemonade really is delicious, Mrs. Diaz,” Hen jumps in as Eddie pushes his chair back and starts collecting empty plates. “I would love to get the recipe before we leave. If you don’t mind.”

Startled, the older woman blinks. “Oh. Yes, of course. I’ll write it down for you.”

Buck pushes back his own chair as Hen continues redirecting the conversation and follows Eddie into the kitchen where he finds his best friend gripping the edge of the sink.

“Hey,” he says quietly.

Eddie looks over his shoulder and exhales heavily. “Hey.”

“Sorry if I overstepped.”

“You didn’t,” Eddie assures. “I’m just...exhausted. And ready to get back on the road and home to my kid.”

He hesitates, then adds, “you know, my sisters would be impressed. I haven’t seen someone manage our parents like that since they left. I—thank you.”

“I meant what I said in the truck, Eddie,” Buck replies. “You’re an amazing father and a great man and—it’s not right that anyone should pretend any different. So. I won’t let them.”

Eddie glances at the hallway. “Guess we have to go back eventually. I didn’t quite think this escape plan through.”

“Once more unto the breach?” Buck offers. The smile he gives Eddie is far different from the fake one he’s had up since they arrived, and when Eddie returns it, a spark returning to his eyes, it makes Buck’s stomach flip and his pulse race.

He tries not to think too hard about that. They still have a long drive ahead of them—plenty of time to save it for later.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

***

When they get home, Eddie barely manages to shower and plug in his phone to charge before falling into bed and immediately going to sleep. When he wakes up, he finally checks his messages and sees several missed calls and texts from his sisters.

So? Sophia asks. How was it?

<em>You were right</em>, Eddie taps out, and then waits. His phone rings a few seconds later.

“I’ll save the I told you so in favor of asking if I should get Adriana on the line for an emergency Diaz sibling parental grievance vent session or if I’ll suffice,” Sophia greets.

“It’s not that serious,” Eddie replies. “I’m okay—a little annoyed still, but...I’m okay.”

He’s not quite sure what compels him to add, “Buck was there. He, uh, he told them off about it a little actually. Politely, but that kind of polite...you know the one.”

“The one that’s basically go fuck yourself with a smile and/or plausible deniability?” Sophia fills in, and Eddie laughs.

“Yeah, that.” He rubs at the back of his neck and leans back in his chair. “It was—he kept pointing out things about what a great dad I am.”

There’s something about the feeling in his gut that he can’t name. Something he wants to poke at, to explore, but that also makes him wary. Like a yellow caution light—it’s not a do not enter but it’s not risk free either—and he’s not sure whether it’s a risk he can take yet.

Sophia is quiet for a moment. Then she says, “You are a great dad, Eddie. In spite of them. I’m glad you have other people in your life who recognize that too. You deserve that. You deserve to trust that you’re good at things, even if mom and dad say you aren’t. You deserve to be happy, so...”

The silence that follows feels weighty.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“Is Buck—?” Sophia cuts herself off. “—nevermind. Hey, the twins are calling, so I’ll call back again later, okay? Love you.”

Is Buck what? Eddie wants to ask. But he swallows it back.

“Love you, too,” he says instead. “Talk to you later.”

As he hangs up and tosses his phone aside, his mind wanders back to that feeling. Right up to the edge of warning lights and caution tape. And Eddie wonders for a moment if he should—

There’s a knock at his door.

“Dad? You awake?”

“Yeah, buddy,” he calls back. “Be right there.”

Later. He can think about it later.

***

Eddie figures it out at the worst possible time—in the middle of a five-alarm fire when Buck’s trapped inside and he doesn’t know if—

What do you do when you realize you might be in love with your best friend and they could die?

“We have to go back in there,” he says, before he can think of any reason why he shouldn’t. “We can’t just leave him, we have to—”

“You’re right,” Bobby interrupts, and the other captain makes a noise of frustration.

“Captain Nash—”

“You’re right,” Bobby repeats, holding Eddie’s gaze. “We’re going to get him back.”

Maybe it’s stupid, four trained firefighters diving back into an active blaze in an unstable building with unclear direction, but Eddie can’t regret it when he sees the desperation on Buck’s face. The relief. The impending breakdown.

After, he’s assigned to take care of the victim and Buck’s carted off to the hospital to get checked, and Eddie thinks maybe that’s better. It gives him time, at least. Time to figure out what to say, what to do, whether he should say or do anything at all. Part of him doesn’t know. The rest is screaming I love him, I love him, I love him, wants to get his hands on Buck to verify for himself that he’s fine. That he’s alive. That he’s going to stay that way.

But when he gets back to the station, Buck’s parents are there, sitting at the table, and Eddie just—

He thinks about the look on Buck’s face earlier in the shift when he spilled everything, when he explained how he was apparently born just for parts and how he used to throw himself into bad situations because it was the only way to get their attention.

He could ignore them. But he doesn’t.

“He saved my son, you know,” Eddie says, gripping the top of the staircase as the Buckleys look up. And it’s probably somewhat insane to keep talking because he knows they don’t even know who he is, but he can’t help it because he just needs them to understand— “Buck. He wasn’t even working at the time, he was on medical leave and didn’t know if he would ever be able to be a firefighter again. But he saved my son in the middle of a tsunami—my then eight-year-old son, and god knows I can’t imagine losing him, I think that would be the worst thing I could possibly go through, and I’m not sure I would survive it, but I didn’t have to because Buck saved him. And probably twenty other people as well. That’s just the kind of person he is. The kind who saves people.”

They don’t say a word, so he keeps going. “He could have died today. Because he didn’t want to leave anyone behind. Because he is a good man, even if he doesn’t ever feel like he’s good enough. And he hasn’t said a lot about you, but he’s said enough for me to know that while he’s gotten the latter impression from you, he learned the former himself. He built his life here himself. So...I don’t know why you’re here, if you want to explain yourselves or just want him to forgive you because you feel guilty, but I just wanted you to know that. That he’s a good man. The best man that I know. And if you’re proud of him for that, he deserves to hear it. That’s all.”

Eddie walks away then, heart beating too fast, blood rushing in his ears.

The best man that I know. And I’m in love with him.

That wasn’t for their ears though.

It thrums in his veins, the words caught in his throat as he showers, changes, waits for Buck to return to the station. And when he does, Eddie almost—

But something stops him.

“You have visitors,” he says instead. And leaves Buck to it.

Buck finds him in the locker room after.

“So, my parents said they heard stories about me while they were waiting,” he says. “When I asked them who from, they said they didn’t know, but that I saved their son in a tsunami—and trust me, that got a hell of a lot of questions.”

Eddie is grateful for the open locker, the excuse to hide his face as he pulls out his street clothes.

“Yeah, well—just because they’re not going to appreciate you doesn’t mean that nobody else does.”

“Eddie.”

Eddie pulls back and takes a breath before looking over at Buck. There’s a look in Buck’s eyes like he’s trying to piece Eddie together like a puzzle, to work out all the things he hasn’t said. And Eddie suddenly feels exposed, far more than he had when Buck was sitting in his childhood dining room staring down his own parents.

“You’re a good man,” Eddie says quietly. “They should hear that. And...someone should be willing to defend it.”

Buck’s quiet for a moment.

“I have to go see Maddie,” he says finally. “But maybe I could come by later? And we could...talk?”

“You don’t have to ask, Buck,” Eddie replies. “You know I—” I always want you. “—you’re always welcome.”

Buck watches him in silence for another long moment, then nods. “Okay. Okay, I’ll see you later then.”

It’s hours before there’s a knock on the door. Hours in which Eddie burns dinner and then orders takeout because he’s too busy thinking, hours that he spends trapped in his own head, thinking through all the worst case scenarios, through every what if of how things could go wrong.

But also how they could go right.

And by the time he opens the door, he’s almost ready to just let the words trip off his tongue, but before he can, Buck says—

“Please don’t tell me I’m wrong about this.”

—and kisses him.

Eddie freezes, but before Buck can pull back, he slides a hand around the back of Buck’s neck and kisses him back with everything in him—every bit of thank god you’re alive and I was so afraid and I can’t lose you that he can muster. By the time Buck pulls away, they’re both breathless.

“I’m in love with you,” Buck admits. “I’ve been—”

“Me too,” Eddie replies. “I thought—I thought you were—”

Buck kisses him again.

“I can’t believe you told off my parents.”

“Well, you told off mine, so—”

Eddie pulls Buck through the door.

“Chris is in his room,” he says quietly. “But...you should stay for dinner. And…”

You should stay. Just stay.

Buck does.

#chapel writes #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #911 spoilers #(just in case)

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aliwritesfic · 3 years

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The Night Shift part 5 (F!Reader x Frankie Morales)

Quick summary: You learn the meaning behind Frankie's nickname

Warnings: None, I think, please let me know if I need to add some <3

W/C: 1.7k

Spotify (mainly just vibes, some songs have meaning, also updated regularly)

Part 1 Part 6

The smell of cooking bacon made your stomach growl as you entered the diner on Tuesday evening. You hadn’t eaten much all day, just a piece of toast and a handful of stale cheerios. Frankie was in the kitchen, his back to you. Your throat dried at the sight of him, remembering what you had done and how you had fantasized about him only a few hours earlier.

“Hi, Frankie,” you said, pushing thoughts of what you wanted him to do with his hands out of your mind. Stop being such a hornbag! You scolded yourself. Then he set those dark brown eyes on you and your brain ceased to function. Could he see your secret written on your face?

“Hey,” he said, smiling up at you. “You look tired.”

You almost sighed in relief. Maybe he couldn’t tell at all. You grabbed the coffee pot and poured yourself a cup. “I didn’t sleep much today. I was . . . worried about the kitten.” It wasn’t a whole lie; you really were worried about the kitten. The vet hadn’t sent you any updates, and you hoped that was a good thing.

“Are you gonna keep the kitten, if she lives?” Frankie flipped eggs as he spoke and set up a couple of plates.

“I can’t,” you grimaced, “Kurt would never go for it. He’s not really a fan of pets.”

Frankie made a face. “Not even adorable kittens?”

“Not even then,” you sighed. “It’s fine, though. It’s not like I have the time to properly care for one. I’m here most nights and I’m so busy with housework during the day when I’m not sleeping that it just- it just wouldn’t work.”

You kept your tone light, aware that customers could be listening. You didn’t want to scare off any tips with how miserable the subject made you. Frankie seemed to understand, because he didn’t bring the subject back up.

You were surprised at how easily you two worked together. Completely in sync when you had to be, entire sentences seemed to be translated through quick looks and raised eyebrows. This guy is a serial complainer. Want me to do something about those frat boys? Can you pretty please make me one of whatever this lady’s having?

All too soon it was 5:30 and the morning crew was there, breaking the comfortable silence between you. You found yourself lingering again, although you weren’t sure what for. You didn’t exactly need to stay. But still.

~*~

Frankie was shocked to see you still there. He was pulling his keys out of his jacket pocket when he saw you, standing outside, shivering in the early spring air.

“Thought’d you’d be halfway home by now,” he said, but he was still pleased to see you. He had come to the conclusion last night that you had a boyfriend, he would respect that and not make any untoward moves on you. Friendship suited him fine, even if he did think your boyfriend was a bit of a freak for not wanting a pet.

“I wanted to ask you something,” you said.

“Go ahead,” Frankie prompted.

“How’d you get the nickname Catfish?”

At this, Frankie’s lips twitched. He hadn’t been expecting that. “Before we were deployed, the boys and I went on a fishing trip. Well, one thing led to another and I had a huge catfish on my hook. This was a catch and release type of situation, you know?” When you nodded, he continued. “So, I reach in this creatures mouth to unhook it, and the bastard clamps down! Whole hand, in its mouth! And the thing about catfish, is they don’t have teeth, so they can’t technically bite, but they suck. It was like my hand was in a vacuum seal. When I eventually managed to get it out, no help from the boys mind you, it looked like a giant hickey on my hand. So, that’s where the nickname comes from.”

You snorted with laughter, and Frankie began to laugh too. At the time, it hadn’t been funny but looking back, he knew he would have been laughing his ass off if it happened to any of the other boys.

“I think Santi got a photo of it, I’ll try and find it for you if you want,” Frankie said. You nodded eagerly, wiping a tear from your eye.

“Please do, I’d love to see it,” you said with a grin that made his heart do something it really shouldn’t. Frankie nodded, making a mental note to call Santi and demand that the bastard rip apart his house to find it if he had to.

You turned to leave, and before he could stop himself, he was asking “do you want a ride?” Friends gave each other rides when they needed it, he reasoned. You hesitated, and Frankie kicked himself. Of course he’d overstepped. You didn’t know him that well, he was just the fry cook.

“Uh, yeah actually. It looks like it might rain.”

As if you had summoned it, thunder rumbled low overhead. Fat drops of rain began to fall slowly painting the ground. Frankie jangled his keys and you both sprinted to his truck. He opened your door for you, and ran around to his side. He didn’t miss that you sat with your back ridgid, your hands curled so tightly your knuckles were white.

“You okay?” he asked, although you obviously were not.

“Yeah, no, it’s just . . . You’re aware your truck looks like a death trap?”

Frankie snorted. He was very aware of this, but he was also very aware of what was under the hood. He trusted this truck more than any fancy modern car. Still. He decided that this was the perfect opportunity to mess with you. Just to see how you responded.

“Have you ever seen The Fast and The Furious?” He began, and you raised an eyebrow at him, your face skeptical. “Tokyo Drift, specifically. Well, this truck won me the title of Drift King several years in a row. That’s how well she runs.”

“Oh, fuck off!” You rolled your eyes, but you were laughing. “That’s not even slightly believable.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But how cool would it be if it were true.”

You rolled your eyes again, but you were smiling as you did it, and Frankie counted that as a victory. You gave him directions as he drove, surprising him with how close you lived to him. Only a five minute drive away. How long had you been this close? How had he never noticed you in the neighbourhood? Had he been blind, all these years?

“Thank you,” you said quietly as he pulled up outside your building, a three story walk up with a faded brick facade. The rain was coming down hard now, and lightning flashed.

“Anytime,” Frankie said in a tone that he truly meant any time. You nodded and ran through the rain, disappearing into the building. Frankie idled for a moment, wishing he could call you back and kiss you goodbye.

But he didn’t, because it wasn’t decent and it wasn’t what friends did. Friends didn’t crush on their friend like a fucking idiot kid.

So Frankie drove himself home and drove all thoughts of your mouth out of his head. That was until he checked his phone, and saw a text from an unknown number.

Thanks for the ride, I really appreciate it :) sent 5:57AM

Frankie quickly saved your number in his phone, not taking the risk of losing it somehow. A second message from you buzzed through.

Oh and lunch on Sunday is at Taylor’s Bistro, on High Street if you still wanna come sent 6:01AM

Frankie wrote his message quickly.

Wouldn’t miss it x

He stared at it for too long, erased the x, replaced it with a smiley face and hit send before he could overthink it entirely. Then he remembered his promise to you, and called Santi almost instantly.

“Fish, what the fuck man? It’s four in the morning,” Santi groaned into the phone.

“It’s six you dope, but I need a favour,” Frankie said.

“Money?”

“No, man, nothing like that. Do you still have that photo of the catfish on my hand?”

“Yeah I’ve got a copy in my wallet.” Santi sounded more awake, and Frankie could hear his fancy espresso machine whir to life.

“Why do you- nevermind. Look, I need a copy ASAP.”

“What for? If it’s to destroy it just know I’ve thought ahead and I’ve got four physical copies and one in the Cloud.”

“No, nothing like that. It’s for a girl at work, she asked how I got my callsign and now I’ve gotta show her the photo.”

“Oh?” Santi sounded intrigued. “Who’s this girl?”

“A friend,” Frankie said a little forcefully. “She has a boyfriend.” As if that closed the matter. Apparently, it didn’t.

“Why should that stop you?” Santi asked. “You’re hot, I don’t know this chick but she’d be blind to not be into you.”

“Well, for one, my brain isn’t directly wired with my dick.” At this, Santiago scoffed. Frankie continued, ignoring him. “Secondly, she’s like, twenty five or six. She’s probably not into old guys.”

“You’re thirty-three, you’re not old. Also, chicks dig DILFs.”

“I don’t have a kid.”

“And yet you still have big DILF energy. I wonder if there are any little Francisco’s running around that we have yet to discover.”

“Shut the fuck up, man, it’s bad luck to say that kind of shit. Just get the photo to me, please.”

Santiago roared with laughter as Frankie hung up. Trust Santiago to work one of his deepest fears into conversation. Frankie wasn’t sure what he was more afraid of: having children, or having children and having no clue they existed. It wasn’t that he was against having kids altogether, it was just he knew he wasn’t in the right headspace to take care of someone who depended on him entirely. Some days he forgot to take care of himself, he didn’t want a kid to suffer. It wouldn’t be fair.

He brushed the thought aside as he climbed into bed. It was bad luck to linger on bad thoughts, at least, that’s what his abuela always told him whenever he complained about something as a kid.

He wasn’t sure why exactly he had told you that there was photographic evidence of a catfish latched onto his hand. Maybe he wanted to impress you? But no, he reasoned, there was nothing impressive about that. It was just plain embarrassing. He realised with a start that what he wanted was willing to do anything to hear your laugh again.

Taglist: @hnt-escape @sharkbait77 @1800-fight-me @annathewitch @darnitdraco @frankiecatfish

#the night shift #frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier

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enthusiasticharry · 3 years

Text

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 6.7k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : i feel like i've been waiting years for this to happen when it has only been a few months or so but here it is! feels like home is finally here and i couldn't be more excited. this fic is literally like my child, just like checkmate was, but it does hit closer to home because there are some subjects and topics discusses that are things that happened to me or close to me, so i feel as though i have to protect it with my entire life. but please, do enjoy this not so brief introduction to feels like home, christian and luisa and their little world.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : explicit language, mentions of anxiety, depression and heavy injury. mentions of a car crash.

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐍𝐄 here

“Christian!” The sound of her name rings through the entire Bed and Breakfast with how loud her sister screams it.

“What?”

“Have you seen my phone?” Christian sighs, leaning over the table that she was sat at to grab Luisa’s phone that was on the other side, holding it out for her sister. Luisa manoeuvres her wheelchair to the side of the table, “Thank you!”

“Welcome.” Christian mutters, leaning her chin back onto the palm of her hand as she scrolls through the Lodge’s booking system.

The booking system, apart from a few weekend bookings from the odd elderly couple, was completely empty. September was always quite a slow time of the year for the Lodge, and the sisters had found that out the hard way last year, during their first year of being open, when nobody booked anything for the entire month. From what Christian remembers, there were only two walk-in customer’s during the month and they only stayed for a night or so. The fact that they only had two bookings didn’t cause her to worry as much as she did the year prior though, because they had just had the biggest summer that they could ever imagine, and it was only their second year of fully being in business.

It had always been Luisa Flores’ dream to own her own Bed and Breakfast, but Christian had never, ever thought that she would be right beside her when she did it, but, she wouldn’t change it for the world now — she really wouldn’t.

Four years ago the sisters were coming home in the back of a taxi after going out for the night with their friends. They were drunk, but they weren’t driving and they never would whilst intoxicated, but they soon found out halfway through their journey that not everyone is the same. The driver hit the taxi that the Flores sisters were in on the right side as they drove through a junction, and completely destroyed Luisa and the driver’s side of the car. Christian doesn’t remember much from the accident apart from seeing a flashing light from the right side of her and then waking up in a hospital bed with her neck in a neck brace.

All she could think about was whether or not her sister was alive, and when none of the doctors would answer her Christian felt her entire world crumble around her. Even when her parents came, all they had been told was that Luisa had been rushed into emergency surgery and a doctor would be with them after to explain what was going on. Whilst they were waiting, Christian’s doctor came in and explained that she was going to have a scan and some x-rays to check that everything was alright with her. The results came back that Christian had three broken ribs and that her right arm had been fractured in three different places, but apart from that it was all cuts and bruises and she would make a full recovery.

Luisa, on the other hand, hadn’t been so lucky. Due to the car hitting them on her side, it had done unimaginable damage that Christian could only wish to take away from her sister. Luisa had lost one of her legs in the accident and lost all movement in the other, causing her to be wheelchair bound for the rest of her life. It changed their lives forever, and all Christian could ever think was that she should’ve sat on that side, not her sister.

If the accident did anything to their family, it brought them closer together. They had been talking one night whilst watching Gossip Girl for the thousandth time and Christian had brought up that when they were younger, all Luisa would ever talk about was owning her own Bed and Breakfast in the Lake District. At first, Luisa had dismissed the idea and said that it wouldn’t ever work because of her wheelchair and not being able to walk but if anything, it actually meant that Christian had more of a fire up her arse to make it happen for her sister. A lot of the things that Luisa wanted to do with her life she couldn’t anymore, but this thing, with Christian’s help, she could do.

They found the building that Little Lodge is now in a few months after deciding that they were going to start up their Bed and Breakfast and with help from their parents, they managed to get a deposit down and also managed to get themselves a mortgage. Before they knew it, they were opening their own little Bed and Breakfast.

It was a stressful experience at first, and Christian can’t lie and say that it isn’t stressful a lot nowadays as well, but it was certainly worse at the beginning. The majority of the time, Luisa did the front of house and Christian did everything else because it was just easier for the two of them and the dynamic of the Lodge. There was the odd time that the two of them would change their roles just to fit the situation but that was usually it. Christian loved the dynamic that they had created in Little Lodge more than anything else in her life. It was her new home, and she would never give it up, never.

“Have you heard anything from mamá about abuela?” Luisa asks after a few minutes or so, closing her phone and dropping it down onto her lap.

“No.” Christian shakes her head, swirling in the desk-chair that she was sat in so that she was facing her older-sister, “Mamá said that she’d message if there were any updates but I haven’t heard anything. Papá said that they’re still waiting for the scan results.”

“That’s shit.” Luisa adds and Christian nods her head, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, “She had the scan hours ago, didn’t she?”

“Papá said that abuela went in for the scan at around six this morning, and they’ve been waiting and waiting but nothing yet.”

Christian sighs and shrugs her shoulders whilst Luisa shakes her head. Christian and Luisa’s abuela still lived in Seville, where their mother is originally from and she had recently started to get quite sick so their parents decided that it was probably best that the two of them go and visit her for an extended amount of time whilst she had tests done and they figured out what was wrong with her. It was nerve-wracking for the girls, that they weren’t able to be with her family and check that their abuela was okay but they couldn’t leave the Lodge, and they just hoped that their abuela understood that.

“Ay Dios mio.” Luisa shakes her head again, “Mamá must be going out of her mind.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.” Christian shrugs, “We’ve all seen how bad she’s gotten over the past few years. As much as I hate to admit it, I have a suspicion that it isn’t going to be the best news.”

“Christian!” Luisa raises one of her eyebrows as she looks at her younger sister, “Don’t think like that. We have to stay positive.”

Christian raises one of her eyebrows at her sister, “Positive? I’m just telling the truth, Lu.”

“I know you are.” Her sister pushes again, “But don’t you go saying that to mamá, that might be the end for her.”

“Like I would.” Christian leans forward and thumps her sister on the shoulder, but composes herself when she notices the last couple that they have staying in the Lodge for the summer make their way to the desk to check out. Luisa raises one of her eyebrows at Christian, who just responds to her sister with a roll of her eyes.

As the couple walk towards the front of the desk, Christian swivels around in her chair so that she’s facing the front again and offers them a large smile, “Morning, how are you both? Did you sleep well?”

“We did, thank you.” The man responds walking over and placing the keys to their room down on the counter, “Sad to be leaving, that’s for sure.”

“We’re sad to see you go, too.” Christian offers them a sad smile whilst she tries to find their booking on the system, “But I’m sure we’ll see you again, yeah?”

“Yeah, you certainly will.” The man laughs and Christian nods her head.

Christian sends their receipt to print and holds her hand out, waiting for the sheets to come out. Once they have, she staples their version together, and the Lodge’s versions together and opens them to the page they need to sign and passes them a pen.

“Can you sign on the dotted line and date, please?” She asks and the man nods, “It’s just a confirmation of payment and then you’ll get another one when we’ve cleaned the room and sent your deposit back.”

The man nods and signs the two pages before passing them back to Christian. She finishes the process and then gives them their receipt and wishes them a good day and safe travel. That was the last couple to leave the Lodge, and that meant that Summer was officially over and that they wouldn’t see as many customers as they had in a long time, probably not until October Half-Term when all of the schools in England broke up for a week. Once the door had closed behind them, Christian turned back to her sister who was looking at her with a silly smile on her face.

“What?”

“You’ve gotten better at that, you know?” Luisa says, moving forward so that she can slip underneath the desk with Christian, “You stuttered so much when we first opened.”

“That’s just ‘cos I was nervous.” Christian shrugs, “I didn’t want to fuck it up. Now, I don’t care. I don’t think I can fuck anything up.”

“Uh, let's agree to disagree with that one. There’s still things that you’d be able to fuck up. You get too nervous and word-vomit.”

“Thanks for reminding me of that, Lu. I really appreciate it.”

“Hey.” Luisa knocks Christian’s shoulder with hers, “What are sisters for?”

As far as a sibling relationship went, Christian and Luisa were as close as sisters could be. This had been both before and after the accident. There were only two years between them, and Christian sometimes wondered whether or not it was how close the two of them were in age that meant they were so close. They would do everything together when they were younger, and of course they had arguments and fought at little things that didn’t matter but at the end of the day they were still sisters. That was certainly one of the reasons why they made it through sorting out the Lodge without killing each other, because Christian doesn’t believe they’ve ever argued as much as they did when they were trying to sort the Lodge out, but they made it through without actually hitting one another which is better than they could say for before the accident.

They were minding their business when the computer pinged. It was loud, and it caused the two of them to sit up and stare at the screen with their eyebrows furrowed.

“Is that—?” Luisa asks.

“— I don’t know.” Christian leans forward and places her hand on the mouse, moving so that she could close the tab that she had opened and move to the booking-system app, which had been the one to make the noise.

“Has someone booked?” Luisa looked just as confused as Christian was and when she looked at the system, she saw that someone had actually booked.

As Christian flickered her eyes over the booking her mouth parted open in shock, “Holy shit.”

“What? What is it?” Luisa moves closer to Christian and focuses her eyes on the screen, “Ay Dios mio.”

Not only had someone booked in September of all months, but they had booked for the entire month. At first Christian thought that her eyes had been deceiving her and that this wasn’t the case at all. The more that she looked at the booking, the more that she realised that it was real and someone actually had booked to stay at their Lodge in the month of September.

“Holy Fuck.” Christian couldn’t help the profanities as they slipped from her lips, then parting in shock when she finally read the full confirmation.

Christian had expected to see that the booking would be for a few days, probably three at most, but when she saw that it was for the entire month. The entire fucking month, she felt her heart stop. Whoever this person was, H.Styles as the booking says, wanted to come and stay at their Lodge for the entire month. The most they’ve ever had was a week before, and that was during the height of summer when the kids were off school. To say that the two sisters were in shock would certainly be an understatement.

“Is this a joke?” Luisa asks, obviously just as dumbfounded as Christian at what she was looking at, “This can’t be real.”

“It looks like it.” Christian starts to scroll through the information that had been given, “The email, card. Everything.”

“You search him on Insta, I’ll do Facebook.”

Christian immediately takes her phone out and opens Instagram, typing in H.Styles to see if anything comes up, but it doesn’t. No matter how much Christian scrolls through all of the profiles that come up from the search as well. At the same time, one of these profiles could be of the person coming to stay at their Lodge in the next few days, Christian just didn’t know. After she closed her phone and placed it face down on the table, she looked up at Luisa who had her face too close to the screen of her own phone as she looked at something.

“Think you’ve found him?” Christian asks, leaning over her sister's shoulder to look at the profile that she was on.

“I don’t know.” Luisa mumbles, passing her phone to her sister, “Maybe this could be him.”

The profile that Luisa showed her sister was one of the profiles that look as if they aren’t used at all, but it’s actually just because they have a private account. The profile picture looked to be of a man, maybe around Christian’s age, or maybe Luisa’s but they couldn’t tell because the photo only showed the side of his face. From what Christian could also tell, the photo seemed to have been taken in a museum of some sort, and it looked almost serene.

“Could be.” Christian shrugs her shoulders, “I suppose we’ll know in two days.”

Luisa sighs and drops her head back, “I don’t think I’ll be able to wait that long.”

“Shut it.” Christian shakes her head, thwacking her sister on the shoulder, “Have a little patience. Why do you care anyway?”

“Well excuse me for being curious on who the person is who’s going to feed us in September and October.” Luisa shakes her head before moving herself backwards, “I’m going to check some things with Yani, are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” Christian shrugs her shoulders, giving her a small smile, “Have fun. Let me know if you hear anything about abuela.”

“Same to you.”

Christian gives her sister one last smile as she ventures back inside and towards the kitchen, before she places her attention back onto the booking in front of her. This was certainly going to be one for the record books, whether Christian and Luisa knew that yet or not.

As Christian sat drinking the coffee that she had made herself a few minutes prior, she quickly realised that it probably wasn’t the best idea to drink coffee at a time like this.

Christian’s social anxiety certainly wasn’t as bad as it had been, but it still wasn’t the best. Christian’s mother has said from her being a young child that she can talk for England if it’s to someone who she knows and trusts, but the second that it’s to someone who she doesn’t know and doesn’t feel comfortable with, she’s nervous and awkward and will only speak if she’s spoken to. The accident certainly didn’t help, and for a while Christian only spoke to her family and doctors but she bounced back from that quicker than anyone could have imagined, and she guessed that was because of Little Lodge and how it brought Christian out of her comfort zone.

Just because Christian was better than she had been, it certainly didn’t mean that she was completely cured because that wasn’t the case, not even a little bit. She would still fumble on her words, albeit not as much as she used to, but it would still happen. More often than not Christian wouldn’t speak unless she was spoken to and she tries her hardest to stay away from social situations that she knew would stress her out, because that wasn’t good for anyone.

One of the little worries that she had picked up since opening the Lodge, though, was whenever they had somebody book online and Christian wasn’t distracted enough to not think about it, that would be all that she would think about. Sometimes she would get herself into some quite horrible states worrying about the types of people that were going to walk through their doors, but Christian had to remind herself that speculation isn’t the right thing to do and that she can’t let herself worry like that unless that is actually something to worry about — obviously that doesn’t mean she completely stops doing it.

That was one of the reasons why Christian hadn’t slept at all last night, and why when she woke up this morning she felt the need to make herself a large cup of coffee. The only thing was that the more caffeine that the girl drank, the more that her heart started to beat faster within her chest. At this moment in time, Christian didn’t know if it was more nerves or excitement that H.Styles was arriving today.

“You look like death.” Luisa says, as she stops her chair in front of the reception desk.

“Good morning to you too, Luisa.” Christian says sarcastically, lifting her eyes up from the screen to look directly at her sister, “Did you sleep well? Are you excited for today? How are you?”

“Yeah, yeah I get it.” She shakes her head and places her hands on the desk, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“As you lovingly pointed out, I look like death, so no, I didn’t.” Christian explains, unable to stop herself from letting out a large yawn.

“You need to sleep, Chris.” Luisa shakes her head, “I get that you worry but it certainly isn’t worth losing sleep over.”

“I know.” Christian offers her sister a small smile, “I’m not gonna be able to ever stop doing it, I hope you know that.”

“I know.” Luisa nods her head, “And I’m sure you know that I’m going to keep telling you that you look like death.”

Christian grins, “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

Luisa’s phone pings before she can say anything else, and Christian knows that it’s probably time for her to leave. Luisa and her girlfriend, Elsa, have had this day planned as their date day for a long time, and Christian wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of their day.

Luisa and Elsa have been together for three years now. They met when Luisa went away to Sweden for a few weeks with her friends from school. Elsa had been visiting her family and they met through a confusing line of mutual friends that Christian had very little interest in learning about. All Christian cared about was that her sister was happy, and if Elsa was the person to do that then that was all Christian wanted in life. When the accident happened, Luisa had been worried that Elsa wouldn’t want to be with her anymore, and no matter how many times Christian reassured her sister that Elsa wouldn’t do that and that she loved her, Luisa just believed that wasn’t the case. As Christian had reassured her sister, Elsa didn’t leave. In fact, Elsa did everything that she could to help Luisa.

For Christian, Luisa and Elsa were the epitome of what she wanted in life. She wanted someone to look at her the way they look at each other, and love her like they love each other.

“El’s here.” Luisa grinned as she looked at her sister again, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? We can stay if you want, go out later.”

“No!” Christian exclaimed, shaking her head, “You’re not cancelling because of this. I’ll be fine. You two enjoy yourself.”

Luisa looks at her sister and raises one of her eyebrows, “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

“Completely positive?”

“Luisa!” Christian exclaims, shaking her head, “Go to your girlfriend, everything will be fine.”

“Okay.” Christian stood up and made her way towards her sister, pressing a kiss to her cheek and then making her way over to the door and opening it for her. Christian can see Elsa’s car parked at the end of the street and she smiles at the sight, “I’ll see you later. Message me if you need me.”

“Will do. Have fun.”

Christian watches for a little while longer, just checking that Luisa actually makes it to Elsa. Once she sees the car door open and Elsa steps out, Christian takes it as her cue to go back inside. There aren’t any guests staying at the Lodge at this exact time, so it feels a little odd to Christian that someone will be coming tonight and that they’re going to be staying for the entire month, and be the only guest that they have for a while.

Yesterday, seeing as though it was the only day that Christian had been given to prepare, she made a start on deciding which room she was going to give H.Styles and started to get it ready. Luisa had spent the day at reception so that Christian could do that, only face-timing her every once in a while so that she could see what Christian was doing to the rooms.

A part of Christian often felt guilty when it came to the two rooms that were on the upper floor of the Lodge. They were the largest and fanciest rooms in Christian’s opinion, but due to the narrow staircase Luisa had never been able to go up and see them in real life so she had to settle for Christian’s shaky camera work on facetime.

Christian had to choose between rooms Seda and Luz which were both nice for different reasons. She supposes that she is biased because she designed these rooms and helped decorate them more as her own than the rooms downstairs. Due to Luisa not being able to go up to decorate the rooms, Christian had basically been given free reign of the rooms to do whatever she wanted with them. When it came to the names of the rooms, Seda and Luz, which mean silk and light in Spanish, Christian knew that she wanted to incorporate some form of each of the words into the decoration of the room.

When it came to Seda, Christian made the main colour combination in the room a dark grey and peach colour and incorporated the silk in with the curtains and the cushions that were used as decoration. Everything matches and isn’t too cluttered in the rooms, which is one of the things that Christian loves about being able to decorate her own rooms. The second room, Luz, she decided to make the accents in the room navy blue, including an accent wall which was a pain in Christian’s arse to paint, but once it was finished it really did bring the room together. The vocal point of the room, though, had to be the different exposed light bulbs that light up the room: there were three on the ceiling, and other lamps assorted throughout the room.

Christian had ended up cleaning and making sure that both rooms were adequate. She changed the sheets, hoovered, placed down fresh towels, dusted and did basically everything else that she could to not only distract herself but make the rooms ready for when H.Styles arrived.

Luisa always used to say, whenever they spoke about the Bed and Breakfast that she were going to own before the accident happened, that she reckoned that the cleaning and the upkeep portion would be the worst and for a while Christian thought the same, but she quickly came to realise that truly wasn’t the case. Christian loved to clean and make sure that everything was tidy for whenever the guests arrived and after having a little more thought about it, Christian believed that the reason she enjoyed cleaning was because it gave her time to relax and not think about everything else in her life. She often had her headphones on with music playing, or maybe even a podcast every now and then. Christian couldn’t exactly pinpoint the exact moment in her life where she became an old woman, but she couldn’t say that she minded.

She decided that the best thing that she could do is wait until H.Styles arrived for her to make any decisions about which room she thought would be the best. Of course, Christian wouldn’t know anything about him by just checking him in she would at least be given a slight indication of which room he may enjoy more.

Christian had no idea what time H.Styles would be arriving, and that was one of the things that was creating a bit of suspense. She was checking their books and making sure everything was in line and at any given second he could arrive and she would meet the person who had booked to stay there for the entire month. Christian believed that maybe that was why she spent a lot of her time wondering about who was coming to stay with them, because who would need to stay in their little corner of the Lake District for that amount of time, who would need to do that?

If there was one thing that Christian certainly wasn’t doing it was complaining. This man, whoever he was and for whatever reasons he was doing this, would be paying their bills and giving them enough money to keep themselves going for a little while longer, or at least until October Half-Term.

Christian quickly learnt that there wasn’t going to be much for her to do but sit and wait, and due to her being on her own in the Lodge, she saw no issues with connecting her phone to her speakers and blasting out music into the room. Luisa always said that Christian had a weird taste in music, but Christian just said that it was eclectic.

The thing about Christian, especially when it came to her music, was that she listened to everything. If someone recommended a song, she’d listen to it, and if she liked that song then she’d listen to it again and again. She would never say that she wouldn’t listen to a song just because it’s country, or that she doesn’t like this artist very much so she won’t listen to it either. If a song is a good song, and she likes it, then she’d listen to it. That did mean that Christian’s playlists were a little all over the place, and no matter how hard she tried to organise them, it just wasn’t possible.

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John was the song blasting through the speakers at this time, a classic if Christian said so herself. She had done everything work wise that she needed to do, so she spent her time reading one of the books that she had picked up from the bookstore in the village: one about love, death and everything in between. It was good, but it wasn’t one of her favourites, but she’d definitely finish reading it just to see how it ended.

She was completely submerged in the words on the page, and the words floating around her ears when the door opened. In fact, she hadn’t noticed the man walking closer to the desk until she saw movement from over the pages of her book which caused her lips to part open in shock slightly. Her eyes flickered to the time on the computer, and it read that it was just past one in the afternoon, and she was shocked to say the least that he was already there.

Christian abandoned her book and threw it down, hoping that she’d at least get to remember where she was in the book because the pages had closed, and clicked her phone on so she could pause the music. Her eyes then flickered up to the man who was standing above her, and she couldn’t help her lips parting as she then looked him up and down. She was trying not to stare, she really was, but she wasn’t doing a very good job of it to say the least.

From what Christian could see, he was wearing a denim flat-cap on his head with brown curls peeking out of the bottom. He was also wearing sunglasses over his eyes, but she watched him take them off and they were now placed on the top of the reception desk. She could only see just under his chest, but he was wearing a red and blue striped shirt and a blue jacket. Christian couldn’t help but wonder whether or not he liked the colour blue, since he was wearing quite a lot of it.

“Hi.” Christian couldn’t help the sheepish smile that crossed her lips as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Sorry about that, how can I help you?”

“M’Harry.” The man says, shrugging his shoulders slightly as he does so. Harry, “I made a booking a few days ago, I’m here to check in.”

Christian nods her head, “I’ll just get that up for you."

She wiggles the mouse to wake the computer up and quickly types in the password so that their systems come back up. Christian’s a little embarrassed to say the least that their systems weren’t already up but she wasn’t expecting him to arrive yet, so she hadn’t prepared for it. Once the system is loaded up and she has his booking, she offers him another smile.

One of the things that Christian had prepared though was the bill that he has to sign beforehand with the deposit on it that states that he’ll get the deposit money back if the room is left unharmed.

“Can you sign and date on the dotted line, please?” She asks, giving him the sheet of paper and a pan. She watches as he signs H.Styles, in a beautiful penmanship if she does say so herself, and then passes back to her.

She clicks a few more buttons on the computer before opening the drawer and starting to flicker through the keys, “One room, for thirty nights.”

Christian tries to hide the shock in her voice when she says how long he’s staying but she certainly doesn’t do a good job of it. As Christian flickered through the keys, she finally landed on the one that she had been waiting for, the one for Luz. It seemed like an obvious choice in Christian’s mind when she saw what he was wearing to pick Luz, so that’s the one she decided upon.

“That’s right.” Harry nods his head.

“Great.” Christian sighs with a smile on her face, trying her hardest not to make the situation more awkward than it was, “I’ll, uh, show you to your room.”

He nods his head and she watches as he picks up the suitcases that she hadn’t even noticed he had with him and followed her towards the staircase. She was starting to feel a little uncomfortable at the fact that he was walking behind her, watching her and she couldn’t see what his face looked like. That was certainly why, and not because she had noticed that he had quite the handsome face.

Once she made it up to Luz, and she had turned the light switch on so that they wouldn’t be fumbling around in the dark trying to find where they were going, she used the key in her hand to open the door. Christian walked in first, just because there wasn’t enough room on the narrow landing for them both to stand and manoeuvre around each other — Christian had learnt that the hard way.

She placed the key on the cabinet in the room, and then turned to look at Harry who had just placed his suitcases down on the ground. He looked around the room for a little while and then moved to the window, looking out before turning to Christian.

“It’s lovely.”

Christian nodded her head in thanks, “Breakfast is from seven to nine everyday in the conservatory. I’ll, uh, leave you to get settled in and I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you.”

The second Christian walks out of the room and closes the door behind her, she lets out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t even known she had been holding.

Christian messaged Luisa that he had arrived but she received no reply. She didn’t think too much of it, because she knew that whenever Elsa and Luisa were together they were so completely obsessed with each other that nothing can distract them. Luisa knows though that if she doesn’t give Christian an update of their whereabouts by five then Christian would start to worry — they had four hours before Christian would start to worry.

For a little while Christian didn’t put her music back on, and she listened to the creeks of the ceiling as Harry moved around above her.

He didn’t give anything away of who he was, or why he was there but at the same time Christian made no indication of wanting to know anything. If Luisa would have been here when he arrived, that would probably be a completely different story. Luisa would’ve gotten some information out of him, Christian knew it for certain. She wondered who he was, and what he was doing here, but she wouldn’t ask him.

When the creeks of the ceilings stopped and there wasn’t anything else for Christian to listen to, she turned her music back on and picked up her book. It took her a while to locate where she was, having just thrown it on the side earlier when she noticed that he was there but she soon found the page she was up to. The words, as much as Christian tried to digest them, just weren’t going into her head in the way that they had been.

Christian wasn’t playing the music as loud as she had been earlier, mainly because she wanted to hear and listen when he started moving again, and when he eventually came downstairs. He had to come down at some point, seeing as though he had to eat and even though they serve breakfast at the Lodge, they don't serve lunch or dinner just yet. It was something that Christian and Luisa had been looking into, but it takes more work than they could have ever imagined to make something like that work.

Around two hours after Harry first arrived, she heard movement upstairs and towards the landing that caused her heart to skip a beat. Christian quickly turned her music off, and managed to place her bookmark in her book before he walked into the reception. She tried not to make it obvious and she placed her hand on the mouse of her computer as though she had been doing something, but she wasn’t the best actress and she was sure that it was completely obvious what she had been doing.

He gave her a smile as he walked into the room and towards the desk, and she tried not to seem awkward when she gave him one back but she was sure that she’d failed at that too.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

He nods his head, “Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just. . . I was just wondering whether you had any recommendations of places to eat.”

“Oh, uh, I do know of some good places.” She nods her head, “What food do you like? Then I know what to recommend.”

“I’ll eat anything, to be honest.” He chuckles, a smile crossing his lips. He had dimples.

“Uh, well, there’s a good Italian restaurant about a mile from here.” Christian shrugs, “I can call you a taxi, if you would like.”

“No, it’s fine.” He shrugs, “Have you got the postcode? Or some directions.”

“Yeah, it’s just down the road.” She points to the left, “If you go over the bridge and just follow the road for a mile or so, you can’t miss it. It’s called Galileo’s.”

“Thank you.” He smiles and turns to walk towards the door.

He opens the door and then moves to the side, stopping his actions. Christian furrows her eyebrows as she watches everything unfold. Luisa and Elsa walk through the opened door, smiling at Harry as they do so before turning to look at Christian with wide eyes. The two of them look over their shoulder and watch as the door shuts behind Harry as he leaves, and their eyes immediately fall to Christian again who’s looking at them with her teeth clamped firmly on her bottom lip.

“Oh. My. God.” Luisa slowly makes her way towards Christian, stopping when she’s finished saying the last word, “You failed to mention in your message that the man was basically a Greek God, Christ Christian.”

“Do you really think that me of all people would say that?” Christian sighs and shakes her head.

Elsa shakes her head, “Chris wouldn’t say that, Lu. You know that.”

Luisa accepts her girlfriend’s hand on her shoulder with a kiss, “Doesn’t mean it’s any less true though. Did he tell you anything?”

“His name is Harry.”

Luisa doesn’t blink as she looks at her sister, “That’s it? That’s all he said?”

“That’s all he said.” Christian nods her head, “He just came down to ask for a recommendation of places to eat and I told him to go to Galileo’s.”

“Jeez.” Elsa sucks a breath through her teeth and shakes her head, “Galileo’s? On the first night? Are you sure?”

“Galileo is harmless.” Christian shakes her head.

“He’s a nutcase.” Luisa sighs, shaking her head.

“He’s not.” Christian pouts, “He’s not around me, anyway.”

Elsa laughs and sits down on one of the couches that rest against the wall of the reception, “If he survive’s Galileo’s then he’ll survive staying here for an entire month, that’s for sure.”

“Hey!” Luisa whines, “We’re not that bad.”

“I’m not bad.” Christian’s quick to say after her sister, “You are though.”

“I’d watch your tone if I were you, missy.” Luisa says, lifting her hand up and pointing one of her fingers at her sister, “I’m still the older one in this situation.”

Elsa furrows her eyebrows and looks at her sister, “Are you sure about that?”

“Shut it, you.” Luisa shakes her head, turning her attention back to her sister, “If I were you, I’d just keep an eye on him. See if you can figure out anything about him.”

“I’m not going to stalk him, Luisa!”

“I wasn’t telling you to stalk him!” She exclaims back, “I was just telling you to observe, like a good host would.”

Elsa furrows her eyebrows from behind her girlfriend, “It sounds a lot like stalking to me.”

Luisa shakes her head, “I hate you both.”

Christian grins and tilts her head to the side, “You love us really.”

Although Christian would never admit it, watching and listening seemed like quite a good way of figuring out who this man was and why he was here. She wasn’t going to be stalking him though, just observing.

#first part of feels like home!! eek!!#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles x ofc #harry styles x oc #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles series #series

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bluezey · 3 years

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Encanto: it's no Coco, but it's close

I just finally caught Encanto, and it's pretty good. Like I said in the title, I think Coco has a better impact, but I don't think it's fair to compare. For one, Coco is Mexico while Encanto I believe is Columbia. Second, I think Encanto wasn't meant to be Disney's answer to Coco. However, I still think it was meant to leave a big impact as Disney's 60th feature film. I mean, they advertise it right before the film starts. And as Disney's 60th film, it's pretty good, and pretty big. And by its fanbase, it has left an impact.

But, personally, do I think it's a perfect film? Overall, yes, but I do think it has a few faults.

First, I'm gonna start by saying SPOILERS, as the film still is new. Second, I'm gonna start by gushing on the things I love about this film.

First, while it wouldn't be fair to compare this film to Coco, both films are bright, colorful, magical, and have an awesome musical score, much of which is because it's showing off the culture it's representing. This film beautifully shows off Columbia, and to it's credit, I really kinda wanna visit Columbia now, not even Coco made me feel like visiting Mexico afterwards, no offense to Mexico. I also love the characters. Balancing a film with a big cast is very difficult, and this movie sure pulled it off. I love how it shows off each character's strengths and flaws, but you love the characters for their strengths and flaws, and love both for how they both work together.

And now to the flaws, and, I'm sorry, I'm trying to love Lin-Manuel Miranda, I even wanna check out In The Heights and Hamilton eventually, and I know he makes great music, but... I dunno, most of his music always seems to be missing something, almost like a song that's trying to be perfect, and you know it's great, but it's missing that tiny something to make it perfectly great, it's hard to explain. BUT, I'm proud to say, he did give two songs that did have that something missing and were perfect. Those songs, in my opinion, are Waiting on a Miracle and What Else Can I Do. The best way to explain why these two songs stand out is to say that Waiting on a Miracle is his Not a Simple Sponge, and What Else Can I Do is his Let It Go. These are both classic and impactful don't count me out songs. And, comparing them, maybe the missing spark is feeling that connection to the song. I mean, Family Madrigal was one hell of a drive, and the Bruno song is a bop, and every single song in this musical is powerful and strong, like all of Miranda's songs. And even Surface Pressure, that song is relatable, you think you can feel a connection to it, and I tried, but I just couldn't feel it. Maybe I'm trying too hard with Miranda and his songs because I've heard him being so hyped up, and I do want to love his work, it's good work, and those two songs and the entire score is amazingly gold, but all the other songs, while gold, it's driving me nuts that I still feel it's missing something to make it perfect.

But, maybe that's the point as it is the message of the story, which seems to be perfection and taking things for granted. This is a perfect little family with perfect little lives and perfect little gifts, so when Mirabel didn't get her gift, she was just kinda written off by the family, despite the fact she clearly had a gift, it wasn't just a supernatural one like talking to animals or growing plants or being a super buff lady. Her gift is clearly an important and magical, just not a supernatural one, so the family took it for granted, especially the matriarch Abuela Alma. And for those who haven't gotten it, Mirabel didn't get a magical gift because she already had one: she strengthens the family by listening to them and bringing out their flaws. It was driving me nuts that no one got that in her family until the course of the movie happened, and the hell you let her sleep in the nursery because she doesn't have a gift? At least carve out a closet sized bedroom for her!

I'm torn on the plot, because on the one hand the pacing is slow and the plot unravels slowly, but on the other hand that works because the plot is kind of a mystery, and mysteries do unravel and go slowly. And I do love the message that goes with the plot, and how it explains the importance of facing flaws to make us stronger, even to your family, that is a very strong, very good message to kids. I also thought the plot was a tiny bit complicated, but hell, if kids can understand Soul and Inside Out, they can understand Encanto too.

I also think the magic shouldn't have come back. I dunno, maybe I'm missing something, but I think the message would have been stronger if the family had their new casita and their new chapter of their lives without their special magic gifts

So in summary, Encanto in full is it's message: it's a perfect little film because of it's perfect little flaws. You want more out of it, but what you get is enough. And for a 60th film in Disney's vault, it tried too hard, when it's already perfect enough.

#pixar encanto

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cto10121 · 3 years

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finally saw encanto!!!! yeah, i felt kind of obligated to view and review it, what with my being colombian american (first generation) and all. and also there’s that song about not talking about that guy everybody’s talking about…so. let’s just get to it

it’s better than coco, i’ll give it that, in that it is not (as) cheesy and not (totally) mami and papi propaganda of the importance of ~familia and all. this one actually has conflict…which is then resolved less than five minutes later. also way less plot, so it evens out. i’ll just do a good, bad, and ugly. take it away, hugo

the good:

the animation? it keeps getting more and more detailed and holy shit, they decided to do actual choreography. that must have been painful to animate. kudos, i guess

um. that one cumbia in the end credits? actually colombian and the melody was not that bad. my mom danced a little because of course she would

the premise isn’t too bad. the execution was cheesy and precious (remember when disney had balls and had adult jokes and a genuinely witty screenplay? i do. i remember) but it had at least something to say about burnout and perfectionism and intra-family fuckery.

that’s it, really

the bad:

songs sucked. the first one was probably the worst. at least the bruno song is catchy. but that was the only one even the least bit memorable. the cumbia in the credits was probably the best composition, ha. even the lyrics were piss poor. i swear lin-manuel miranda is getting worse and worse after hamilton. hamilton at least had clever rhymes. what’s happening?

they keep making the screenplays to these things simpler and simpler, aren’t they? also the increased use of superlatives and adjectives.

the lack of stakes. yes, abuela is a pill, but also…not that much? for one thing she believes mirabel immediately about the cracks instead of questioning her and when mirabel tries to defend herself, she doesn’t even accuse her of lying or doing it for the attention. i guess i wanted a more gaslighting abuela, ha. it doesn’t help matters that until mirabel goes snooping around we don’t get a sense of how stressed everybody is. she also sees the error of her ways far too easily and quickly. latino parents are way more stubborn, and this one had trauma.

speaking of, her backstory is…interesting. as in, way too vague. i’m guessing abuela and her husband were supposed to be indians and were screwed over by the spaniards (or simply colombian government doing pogroms??? again, i know that to be a mexican thing, but i suspect that to be a latin american thing in general). it would have given the narrative some weight to give a piece of genuine history, but eh.

this family was just way too lovey-dovey in general. mirabel and isabella hating each other is pretty much the only thing that rang true in terms of family dynamics and that wasn’t developed much at all.

i suppose it was never meant to be a mystery, but…we never got an explanation as to why the casita (or casota, it should be called) didn’t give mirabel a gift. i mean, that was how the movie began and its central conflict: mirabel struggling to accept her lack of powers. also, bruno supposedly leaving never had any weight—even before the song luisa talked about him just fine and mirabel even mentioned him and his powers in song.

the confusing racial mixture of the triplets. abuela and her husband both look straightforwardly indian with maybe (1) spaniard ancestor, but pepa is pretty white (with red hair! was that spaniard?) and of the three only bruno got the nose; he also looks the closest to his mother. but whatever. you do get weirder irl combinations, so

the ugly:

the magic returning at the end. i suppose the big reveal is that the magic was really tied to the well-being of the family members so when they began to feel better it…came back???? if it sounds stupid, it’s because it is. at the very least it was not very well explained and it undermined the whole message of the magic not being what truly matters or what is special but just being you.

the whole scene of antonio getting his powers almost got me diabetes, yuck

the powers themselves being pretty lame. luisa’s was genuinely useful, but unless isabela can grow crops as well, her power was the most useless of all. dolores’ super hearing really should have been torture for her and camilo changing into people is useful for spying, not so much for ordinary life (or would it? that would have been a good angle, show the reality of a small town, but that would require the actual subzero level of fucks disney no longer has). ditto for antonio’s talking to animals.

“COLOMBIA TE QUIERO TANTO. COLOMBIA COMO ME GUSTA TU ENCANTO.” kill me

for all the rah-rah about representing ✨authentic colombian culture, ✨ it’s worth noting that my two colombian parents (boomers, born ‘48-‘58) were like 🤔 and 🙄 the whole movie. my mother kept saying that this looks more mexican and that colombian pueblos weren’t that colorful!!! you remember, mija, when we went to [insert pueblo name] it wasn’t all color, this is more mexican!!! don’t believe in the disney lies!!!! my dad meanwhile was frowning over the modern latin rhythms in a supposedly 19th century setting. there was an arepa. and that one cumbia. and they roped in carlos vives (my parents were like oh, yeah, him). overall, not very impressive. i will say, however, that this may be more reflective of campesino, gente-humilde culture and my parents were…definitely not that, ha.

so this was yet another overrated cheesy disney flick with an inexplicable internet fandom and pumped-up claims about ~representation. i have a feeling some higher-ups ordered the creative team not to make things too colombian or else the other latino subcultures will not give them money will be sad. but now that this was a sleeper hit, disney is not going to stop until it has a movie for every hispanic-latino american subculture. i blame you. i blame all of you.

#encanto #disney #cristina reviews #another frozen except dare i say it…#well at least this one had no glaring plot holes #though mostly because it had little story #nah i think even frozen was better. it tried to do something different at least

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loudsuitlover · 4 years

Text

Doctor Harry XXX. T la sudo

A/N: Everything will come for those patient enough to wait. (My abuela’s words, not mine.)

BLUE’S POV

Unbelievable. He’s still asleep. Is it possible that this is his longest night of sleep? Would he remember what he said last night? Was he hallucinating? He fell asleep right after. I remember when he told me I had recited Roy McBride’s lines on my sleep and I didn’t remember any of it the morning after. Will it be the same for him?

I have barely slept and as much as he has had trouble sleeping any other night, last night he peacefully slept through the entire night. Every time I’d wake up and look at him, there he was, peaceful, calm and vulnerable and in contrast I was tachycardic.

Harry’s phone screen illuminates with Hampstead name. I sigh. I’m about to pick up and tell them to fuck off and learn to solve their problems by themselves but I know that would be too much. But, come on, Hampstead, it’s Saturday morning and he’s asleep. Thank God it’s on silent mode.

He put it on silent mode! So if someone had called with an “emergency” last night, he wouldn’t have picked up because he was with me. Aw, I’m so proud of him! I want to kiss him until he wakes up and the suck him off to begin his day.

When the call ends, the missed call text pops up on his screen and only then I see the photo he’s got as his wallpaper. That’s me. My pulse accelerates. I don’t want to take his phone but that’s me. It’s a photo from his sister’s wedding and it’s taken from behind me when we were standing under the flower arch greeting the guests. He couldn’t have possibly taken it for he was right next to me but maybe the photographer did and he liked it. Hampstead texts him and the messages pop up on the screen.

Hampstead: Hey, I was just calling to remind you I still have the tickets for Kings of Leon tonight if you want to come!

I don’t want to read his messages. I know that’s terrible. But they’re right there… And they keep popping. I didn’t know Hampstead and him were friends. He’s never mentioned them.

Hampstead: Last week was fun!

Last week was fun? I hope he’s talking about the congress. But a congress, fun? I mean it can be interesting, it can even be thrilling… But fun?

Wait, what is going on with me? I’m not like this. What do I care what Harry talks about with his friends? Even though he’s never mentioned them… But what do I care he’s never mentioned them? Maybe they’re not that close and that’s why he has never said anything. But then, why would they invite him to a concert?

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m looking for Hampstead on Facebook. The only Hampstead I have friends in common with- those being Mario Matteoti and Harry Styles- is a girl, is a very beautiful girl. Sarah Hampstead. She’s blond and her hair is long like mine but straight. She wears it in a braid in most of the pictures and looks like Rapunzel. She’s a first year residence in Anaesthesiology at Grad hospital. The last picture she posted is a selfie with Harry. They’re smiling at the camera having a drink at some restaurant or hotel and she’s wearing her hair on a braid over her shoulder. It’s from last Tuesday when Harry was supposed to be at the congress.

My heart stops. I hate this. I hate that I’m doing this in the first place and I also hate that I’m feeling so threatened but I remember the fights I’ve had with Harry over her calls and how he walked away from me to take her call when we were at Marie’s house.

I don’t want to think this of him but… Why did he never tell me about her? And why does she think it’s okay to call him at those ungodly hours? And why does he always pick up? And why the fuck is she inviting him to a concert?

Last week was fun. Yeah, that drink they had looked like fun and they looked like they were having a good time on that stupid selfie. The congress. It’s impossible, I know it is, but what if the congress wasn’t a congress at all? I need to stop.

I get up from the bed and don’t know what to do. Do I shower without telling Harry? I mean I know he told me not to ask him if I could shower again… But it’s still his house. Well, fuck it, I need to get rid of the dirty feeling of having spied on him and then doubt him. But what if it’s true? Ugh, stop!

I can’t get their stupid selfie out of my head while I shower. Why the fuck did he never tell me about her if they’re colleagues? There’s a voice inside me that tells me he might have done it precisely to avoid this irrational reaction but fuck it. That’s not an excuse. I’m only reacting this way because he hid this from me. Why would he not tell me?

I guess I’ve acted jealous before, with Camille and that dinner of theirs… But I think when he explained it to me I took it nicely and I showed him I could be rational… Plus, does that give him the excuse to just hide things from me?

Last night he told me he loved me. I gotta focus on that. This Sarah Hampstead can text him all she wants, he loves me. He said it last night.

I forgot my clothes on my overnight bag so I make my way outside the bathroom wrapped in a towel and try not to make much noise but the moment I open the door I realize Harry’s not on the bed. I put on clean underwear and my clothes for the day and find him in the kitchen.

He’s wearing thick grey sweatpants and a white cotton long sleeve shirt and looks so cosy my frustration leaves my body through my pores. He grins when he tilts his neck and looks at me.

“Good morning.”

He keeps making breakfast. What is he doing? Is there no good morning kiss?

“I’m feeling like fruit and yoghurt. What do you want?”

“Fruit and yoghurt sounds good.”

“Guay.” He smiles.

Alright, so this is what we’re doing. Then I’m starting the conversation.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Very much so.” He smiles but his green eyes signal for me to have a seat. “And you?”

I nod.

“Take a seat, love.” He chuckles.

I walk towards my usual stool on his breakfast bar and sit down in front of him. I add some sugar to the coffee he gently prepared for me but my eyes don’t leave him. He frowns as he munches on his apple.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Okay, he doesn’t remember what he said last night. That or he’s messing with me. Or worse, he regrets it.

“Do you remember how you fell asleep?”

“With my eyes closed.”

“So you don’t.”

“You also asked me to help you put the cover over us” he says “and I did.”

“Right.”

I took a spoonful of yoghurt with pieces of kiwi and apple and fill my mouth. Either he doesn’t remember or he regrets saying it and now it’s playing dumb. Maybe the sex was so good he got confused or maybe I dreamt it. I guess it’s okay if I fell first… Even though maybe he doesn’t fall at all.

“What do you wanna do today?” He asks.

I look up at him and search for the lie on his green eyes. Did he not check his phone or does he not want to go to the Kings of Leon concert?

“What’s going on with you today? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I might have plans.”

“What do you mean you might? Do you or do you not?”

“I mean I might spend the day with my mum.”

“Oh, okay.”

We eat in silence. I might spend the day with my mum for real. I’m planning on going to my dad’s next week during the uni break to study for the finals so it’d be good to spend some quality time with my mum before I leave.

“I’m sure you can find something to do.”

He looks into my eyes.

“Alright, what is it?”

“What’s what?”

“Why are you mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

He sighs but his eyes don’t leave me.

“I just mean that you can… Go out with some friends or friend, if you want, and that’s fine.”

“I know it’s fine. Are you worried that I’m going to stay here crying if you leave or what? I can call Adam if that’d make you happy.”

“He’s got plans with Marie.”

“Right.” He has a sip of his coffee. “Well, it’s a good thing I don’t need a babysitter.”

“You could do something with another friend.”

“Yes, I could.”

“Guay.” I shrug.

He narrows his eyes at me.

“All I meant is I understand that people want you around, that they appreciate your presence, you know? It’s nice.”

“Why?”

I look up into his eyes again. His hands are intertwined before him as if he was waiting for my answer.

“Because you’re fun and a good person and a good friend. I think it makes sense that people from your environment want you around.”

“Is that what you think?”

I nod.

“Why?”

“I’ve told you. To me, being with you is… easy and nice.”

“Why?”

Again? He sounds like a three-years-old. I don’t know what he wants me to tell him.

“I guess because of the way you treat me. You’re gentle and caring and kind…”

He lets go of his own hands and covers his mouth with one of them but his eyes give him away. He’s trying to hide a smile. I don’t think I’m saying anything funny. He shuts his eyes and when he opens them, he takes his hand off his face and looks at me with affection and amusement.

“Am I your second boyfriend?” He asks.

My blood freezes on my veins. Please, God, don’t let him ask me about Dylan.

“No.”

He raises his eyebrows questioningly.

“What does it matter?”

“I’m just trying to understand something.”

“Third.”

He nods.

“What happened with the second?”

Thank, God. At least he knows Dylan is not a light conversation. I look down. I have never really told him about Javier and I don’t think I want to.

“He wasn’t a good guy.”

I see concern flashing on his eyes.

“What does that mean?”

What a silly guy.

“Did he hurt you?”

I look away from him and his hand rests over mine. He understood I don’t want to talk about him.

“I’m sorry, Blue. How old were you?”

“20.”

He nods.

“What about sex?”

“What about it?”

He rolls his eyes but smiles.

“Have you slept with many people before me?”

“Less than you, that’s for sure.”

His jaw clenches slightly but he doesn’t take his hand away from mine. Come on, Blue, remember you did not want to be harsh to him.

“Three.”

Harry’s eyebrows raise and his neck moves forward. He’s so silly, he’s making me embarrassed.

“Just us three?”

“Yes, is there a problem?”

“No, baby, three is fine.” His thumb caresses the back of my hand. “So I was the first guy you had casual sex with?”

“Yes.”

He hums.

“Are you done with your interrogation?”

“Yes.” He nods. “And, baby, whatever the second guy did to you, he’s crazy because you have to be insane to let you go.”

“It’s not easy to be with me.”

“Oh, I know.”

“No, you don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

I stop myself from shivering. Can I tell him? Can I fully ruin the morning by telling him I was in love when Dylan died and that’s not going to change? Because then he will feel like I’m only with him because Dylan is not here and that’s mostly true and then he’d leave me because he must know he deserves better.

“I…. I….” I love you, but Dylan will always have a place in my heart. “I can be very harsh.”

He smirks but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I know that.” He tilts his neck. “But when you’re not, you’re funny and smart and unique. You’re lovely here” he taps my forehead with his index finger “here” he taps my heart “and your whole body is fucking lovely too, baby. Just own it.”

“Do you really think that?”

“I don’t think that, I know so and it’s a little sad that it takes a random guy like me to tell you for you to see that.”

“You’re not a random guy.”

He smiles.

“Well, have fun with your mum today then. Next week-” He starts but I cut him short.

“I’m going to my dad’s next week.”

His expression changes and he uses the napkin to clean his mouth but he did it mindlessly for his mouth was already cleaned. That has me thinking.

“But what happens next week?”

“No, nothing.” He smirks.

I give him a look letting him know I am not buying it and he clears his throat.

“It’s just… I knew you were on holidays and I had some days off that I haven’t taken because of my addiction to work” he jokes “so I thought in order to show you that we are making progress and also to spend some time together, I could take some days off next week and… We could do something. But it’s okay, you’re going to visit your dad and I should have probably told you sooner.”

My heart swoons. He used his days off for me. He might not remember what he said last night or he might even want to take it back but this is what someone who really does love spending time with me would do. The next thing I say, I say it in a frenzy, in a love rage, even before I can process it.

“Come with me.”

His green eyes set on me as he considers my invitation. I feel embarrassment flooding my cheeks and my neck.

“To Capitol?”

“Yes, have you ever been?”

“I have not.”

I could have guess it.

“So you’ve travelled all around and you’ve never been to one of the most beautiful cities in the country?”

He smirks.

“Well, I should decide whether that’s true, don’t you think?”

“So you’re coming?”

He weights his options looking at me but suddenly his expression falls into one of disbelief.

“Don’t invite me out of pity, Blue.”

I frown and my eyes narrow. Is that really what he thinks of me?

“I didn’t invite you out of pity. I invited you because I want to spend those days with you. I’m so happy you finally decided to get holidays like the rest of people and the fact that you wanna spend them with me only makes my heart flutter so are you coming?”

My confession makes him smile again and I smile foolishly back at him. The way his dimple forms on his left cheek even before his teeth are shown sweetens my mood and my blood.

“Are you sure?”

I nod.

“What are you gonna tell your dad?”

“The truth. I don’t lie.”

He hums as he tilts his neck and raises an eyebrow, calling my statement into question and I shake my head weirdly amused.

“I got a train ticket for Wednesday morning, do I get another one? Or do I cancel mine and you drive us? It’s a little less than 4 hours away.”

He’s going to say yes, I can tell, I can see it on his face; how is eyes have a sparkle about them and his smile reaches them. He’s loving this. His expressions always give him away. He’s an opened book.

“I don’t mind. We can drive.”

We both grin.

We decide to spend the morning together before I go have lunch with my mum. I might invite him to that as well. Mum might get jealous if she knows Harry’s gonna be spending a few days at dad’s and she only got a dinner. Harry’s on his closest, picking his clothes for the day I guess when I call my dad.

“Hey, dad.”

“Hey, Berry. What’s up?”

“Hi, I was just calling to ask you… Would you mind if I bring someone along on Wednesday?”

“Not at all, honey. Is Jason coming back?”

“No, it’s not Jason.”

“Ollie then? Marie?”

“No, it’s a… It’s a guy.”

“Oh!” I shake my head at how thrilled my dad sounds and the way Harry looks at my with a side smirk. “A guy! That’s great, Berry. Is he a special guy?”

“Yes, dad, he is. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Your boyfriend.” He repeats.

“Yeah, okay, so you’re gonna pretend you didn’t figure that out after the wedding photos I sent you. You don’t go to a wedding with just anyone, dad.”

As Harry makes his way to the bathroom, he walks past me and slaps my ass cheek loud enough so that my dad can hear it and I jump.

“What was that, honey?”

“Uh… It was just… Uh… My notes. That fell. On the floor. Because I’m tidying up.”

Harry looks at me and silently chuckles and I shake my head and swat his arm playfully whilst he walks to the bathroom.

“Oh, okay, darling. Well, thanks for calling and don’t worry about anything, I’ll make sure everything’s ready. Why don’t you text me what food he likes so I keep that in mind when doing the groceries?”

“Well, he’s not picky, dad. I think he’d eat anything.”

“Good then I’ll cook my special rice. I can’t wait to see you!”

“Me neither.” I chuckle. “Bye, dad, love you.”

“Bye, Berry, love you too.”

While Harry’s in the shower, I pick up my clothes from last night and kept them on my overnight bag and make his bed. I try not to think about how crazy we both are. Last night he told me he loved me and this morning I found out that Hampstead is a girl and he acted like he didn’t say anything last night and interrogated me and then I invited him along to my dad’s. In Capitol. Where I met Dylan.

I think I’m going to faint.

I go on The Golden Girls group chat searching for counselling.

Indie: Are you guys awake????

Jason: Yes, everything okay?

Ollie: Awake and ready to listen.

I guess Marie’s busy. Well, these two would do.

Indie: Hampstead is a girl.

Jason: Who the fuck is Hampstead?

Ollie: She’s an anaesthesiologist who works with Mario and Harry.

Indie: Has Mario ever mentioned her to you?

Ollie: I don’t know. I guess he might have.

Jason: What happened with her???

Indie: I know this is bad guys

Indie: But this morning when I woke up she had texted Harry

Indie: And I didn’t purposefully read his texts but they just pop on his lock screen and I couldn’t help it

Indie: I mean I read them unintentionally

Jason: Just stop excusing yourself and tell us what happened

Indie: She invited him to a concert tonight

Indie: And she said “last week was fun!”

Ollie: Wasn’t Harry on that congress thing?

Jason: Shit

Ollie: Stop it. Don’t listen to JJ, he’s a jealous freak.

Ollie’s typing… And I try not to freak out at Jason’s assumption. She is right. Jason is the jealous type. That’s why I need Ollie’s point of view.

Ollie: I mean they work together. Probably they just went to the congress together too. It’s normal.

Jason: Yeah but why the fuck would she text him that it was fun on a Saturday morning? Like days after? She clearly was trying to initiate a conversation.

Ollie: Who cares about her intentions?

Indie: The thing is Harry’s never mentioned her to me

Indie: And he always picks up her calls even when she calls at like 11 pm on a Friday or worse like on AM on Saturday morning like what the fuck?

Indie: And we have even fought over her calls and he’s picked up.

Ollie’s typing… Jason’s typing…

Jason: I just searched her on Facebook. You’re prettier.

I smile at his attempt.

Ollie: Talk to him.

It’s Ollie’s words that have me thinking. Talk to him. So she thinks there’s something to talk about. And Ollie’s laidback and she is not one bit jealous but she also found it weird. Shit.

Harry’s phone rings and my eyes inevitably search the screen. It’s from the hospital.

“Baby!” Harry yells from the bathroom. “Can you see who’s calling?”

“It’s from the hospital.” I let him know.

“Fuck” the shower stops “can you pick up and tell them to hold on a sec?”

“Sure.”

I pick up the call and bring his phone to my ear.

“Hi, Harry will be with you in a second. He asked me to tell you to please hold on.”

“Uh…” A female voice answers. “Excuse me, who are you?”

“I’m…” I cover the microphone with my hand and talk to Harry “she asked me who I am.”

“Well, tell her.” He laughs. “Who is she?”

“I’m his girlfriend. He asks who are you?”

“His girlfriend?” She sounds surprised. “Oh, I… I didn’t know he…”

“He’s here.” I cut her short.

Harry is smiling when he brings the phone to his ear.

“Hi, sorry, I was in the shower.” He listens. “Oh, hi, Hampstead. What’s up?” He listens.

So Hampstead. What a surprise! And she didn’t know he had a girlfriend, of course.

“Uh… I think that was Danny. I didn’t work yesterday so I am not sure. You should probably ask him. I think he’s on call so send a message to his pager.” He nods as if Hampstead could see him. “Yeah, no problem. Bye, Hampstead. Have a nice day.”

I scroll senseless shit on Twitter so I don’t snap at him. I need to calm down. I need to control this fucking oppressive feeling on my chest but my mind is racing.

Why did he not tell me about her? I think they must be friends or at least friendly if she thinks it’s okay to call him when he’s off duty, especially when freaking professor Gibbins is on call and is the one signing that patients’ paperwork. And he even gives explanations on why he doesn’t pick up on the first tone when he’s off duty. I was in the shower… What do you care?

And why did he not tell her about me? I mean, even Jason could tell her intentions with a single text. I’m guessing it’s a lot more obvious on a day to day basis… And Harry didn’t catch up with that? Why did he never just casually mention he had a girlfriend? He doesn’t even have to tell her about me, just about the roll. Just to have her know that there’s someone sleeping in his bed already.

We haven’t talked much on our stroll along the park behind his apartment. It’s a nice park, with lots of green and trees and wide white stones path for people to stroll like us, or go for a run or walk the dogs. We’ve past some families too. Dads and Mums playing with their children on the grass and I’ve seen Harry staring at them with a hard expression.

I don’t know what’s going on through his mind but he seems to be as pensive as I am. Maybe he’s thinking about Hampstead too.

“Uh, I did tell doctor Hampstead I’m your girlfriend” I say out of the blue “just so you know.”

He tilts his neck to look at me with a confused expression.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” I frown too. “I mean I did tell you she asked me who I was and you said to tell her.”

“Yeah, no, I know what I said.”

I hum and look away.

“Wait, is that what you’ve been thinking about?”

I look at him.

“Is it not what you’ve been thinking about?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Hampstead called in the morning, she had a doubt about a patient I couldn’t answer and then I hang up. That’s all the thought I’ve given it.” He chuckles.

“She could have called Professor Gibbins… Specially if he was on call… And still she called you.”

Harry frowns as if he wasn’t following me. I sigh.

“She sounded surprised when I let her know I was your girlfriend.”

“Are you serious?” His tone sounds surprised at the realization.

Calm down, Indie. Don’t talk to him in a way you’ll regret, don’t talk in a way you’ll regret. I count to tent in my head. 1, 2, 3, 4…

“Are you jealous?”

I take a deep breath. 1, 2, 3, 4…

“Blue, talk to me.”

“I’m counting to ten.”

“Are you really that mad?”

“I’m not mad.” I stop him right there. “I just feel stupid.”

“Why?”

“Because”

I’m about to tell him last night he said he loved me and… For a second I thought it was true because I love him too but then… This fucking whole Hampstead thing, I just… I am embarrassed that I am more invested in this than he is and I don’t want him to know that.

“Listen, you just never mentioned her despite all the times you’ve talked to me about work and she calls you at very weird times to be work related and… I mean she’s… Pretty.”

“How do you know that?”

He’s not denying it. Sometimes his sincerity is too much. I guess it would have raged me if he had denied it but knowing he thinks she’s pretty doesn’t help my jealous fit.

“That’s what matters? Of everything I said.”

“It kind of does.” He tilts his neck.

“I saw her.” I lie. “On Facebook.” I decide not to.

“When?”

“This morning.” Later on, I will analyse this and realize I’m getting defensive but for now all I feel is my shoulders tensing up and my honour being harmed. “And I saw a picture of you two together having a drink on Tuesday night when you were supposed to be on that congress.”

“Supposed to be?” His eyebrows raised on his forehead. “Excuse me but can I not have a drink with whoever the fuck I want?”

“Yes, of course, that’s not what I’m saying!”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying you’ve kept this from me for no reason. I mean why didn’t you tell me?”

“So you think just because I didn’t tell you that means I- what? Cheated on you?”

I don’t answer him and his lips part.

“I can’t believe you.” He sighs. “The only reason I didn’t tell her about you is the same reason why I don’t tell anyone at work about you and it’s because you don’t want me to.”

My mouth shuts and my lips purse on a thin line.

“She’s a colleague, just like any other person working with me and I haven’t told you about her because well, there’s not much to tell. She’s just a first year Anaesthesia resident and she’s a bit lost likewise I was when I was a first-year resident and likewise you will be when you are on your first year of residency. So I remember what it was like to be scared, not to know what to do and… She reminded me of you and… That’s why I help her.”

My brain is working a mile per hour and it’s hard for me to catch any thought with how fast they just pass and go.

“So what you’re saying is I have no reason to be jealous.”

“Of course, you don’t.”

“Okay, then why didn’t you tell me that she invited you to a Kings of Leon’s concert tonight?”

Every sign of frustration is removed from his expression and instead he looks at me stern but expressionless or at least I don’t know how to read this.

“You read my texts?”

I shut my eyes.

“I didn’t purposefully read them, they just pop in your screen and don’t give me that because we both know you’ve stuck your nose on my texts before.”

“I have never gone through your phone.”

“Oh, no, I know, I wouldn’t be here if you had.”

“But you get to do it?”

“I didn’t! I didn’t even pick it up! It was just there! And it popped, I couldn’t.. I mean I had just woken up, I truly read them without thinking, I would never purposefully go through your phone.”

“Okay, okay” His hands move in the air to stop my rambling. I think he believes me. “And the fact that I don’t even have my messages hidden, doesn’t make you think that I have nothing to hide? I mean I could have them and, by the way, that would be perfectly legit and wouldn’t even mean anything but you’re saying it- they were right there. It’s not a secret.”

“Then why are you not going?” I challenge him. “Kings of Leon are awesome.”

“Would you like it if I went?” He challenges me back.

“This is not about what I want, what I want doesn’t matter here. This is about you. If she’s just a friend and I have no reason to be jealous, then why won’t you go?”

He takes a deep breath and rest his hand on his hip. Now it’s him who’s counting to ten.

“She is just someone I work with to me but-” He raises his eyebrows before he unlashes the beast “I am not an idiot and… I don’t want to give her the wrong impression.”

“Was it that hard to acknowledge that?” I ask him.

“Was it that hard for you not to assume the worst of me without even talking to me? You always do this, Blue. I mean I already knew you thought I was a junkie but now also a cheater?”

Wow, that was low. So he’s going to through that at my face. I already apologized and he knows how terrible I feel about that and now he’s using that against me? I feel a lump on my throat and try to swallow it so I can speak.

“I… You know how much I regret that.”

“Yeah, well, maybe other than regretting it you should stop doing it. Why can’t you just trust me?”

I frown and look down at his feet.

“Last night” I start “you… and I…”

“I knew you would do this.” He cuts me halfway. “I knew that you were going to pick a fight because you got scared last night but… I’m tired of you using me as your punching-ball, Blue. You unleash all your frustrations on me and I thought I could take it, you know, but… I don’t want to… I’m tired of waiting for you.”

“Waiting for what?”

His words hurt me. Deeply. But I try my best to hold my tears at bay. I don’t want him to see me crying, especially because I don’t want him to stay if he doesn’t want to but he just confirmed every fear I’ve had lately. I am toxic. I am bad for him. I am hurting him and he doesn’t want me.

“For you to open up and let me in and trust me but you don’t and… It hurts, Blue… Uh… I think it’s best if we take a little break…”

“No, Harry! I- I’m sorry.”

I wipe my tears as I keep trying not to cry but this is happening. He’s finally doing what he has to do and yet I don’t want him to. I knew this would happen but I thought… I was trying very hard to let him in.

“Please, don’t cry.” He sighs. “This is how you fix everything. You hurt me and then you cry and I forgive you and when I scare you, you do it again but I… Maybe I’m asking too much of you, I’m not saying this is all your fault. I just thought I didn’t need you to feel the same way I did, I thought I could just… Maybe you’re not ready and… I think you have to work on some things before you are.”

“Harry, please… I… I…” My eyes search his and I can tell then that he is indeed waiting, like he said he was and it’s out of respect that I don’t say it.

“What? You what?”

I know what he wants to hear. He’s been wanting to hear it since this morning. He remembers what he said last night, he was just looking for my reciprocation, but I won’t do this to him. I won’t tell him I love him because I’m afraid of losing him.

“I think you’re right.”

I see the air leaving his chest and I feel a punch on my throat when I see the pain in his eyes. If this is what he wants, then why does he not look happy? Oh, right, it’s because I am that toxic to him. I am no good for him but he doesn’t want to let me go because I have become that toxic person that gives him just enough for him to stick around but not what he deserves.

He wants all from me. He told me last night, but I can’t give it to him. I just can’t. Jason’s words swirl around inside my mind and laugh at me. D’you think any other person would have stick around long enough…? He doesn’t deserve this and I love him, I do. But that’s why I’m letting him go.

I don’t even remember how the goodbye was or when he left or if I was the one who did but after crying my eyes out like a dramatic widow sitting on one of the benches of the park, I manage to get my phone out to ask for the girls.

Coco: Dad told me Harry is going with you to Capitol this week so I’m going too :)

How can something happen so suddenly? He was happy to be going to my dad’s this morning and two hours later he just breaks up with me?

The Golden Girls group chat has also been active.

Marie: Let us know when you talk to him!

Ollie: How did it go?

Jason: Bet they’re fucking.

Marie: Jason!

Indie: Can we meet?

Jason’s calling me.

“Fuck, Indie, where are you? I’ll pick you up.”

“We broke up.” I cry.

“Fuck. Send me your location.”

I do and I wait. This reminds me of that time I picked him up in the middle of nowhere after David Dick abandoned him like a dog. Only this time, I’m the bad guy.

I am terrible person and I don’t know what else to do. Maybe I am destined to be alone and maybe that’s not a bad thing. After all, the whole problem was falling in love because then I will be leaving Dylan behind and I know people don’t understand but people haven’t lost the love of their lives. It’s not a fucking easy thing.

But still, Harry doesn’t deserve that I unleash all my frustrations on him like he said I do because he’s right, I do that. I do that all the time and I treat him like shit because I don’t want him to treat me as someone I’m not. I don’t want him to think I’m this lovely person who deserves to be loved because I’m not. I’m the girl who let her boyfriend died.

That’s yet another thing people don’t understand. But Dylan was begging for help. That’s why he kept smoking and that’s why he had thrown his entire life away. It was his way of letting us know he wasn’t okay and instead of supporting him or loving him I just… I kept fighting him and telling him he needed to stop and… I wasn’t what he needed me to be. I failed him. And then he died. And I will never live past that.

The emergency lights of Jason’s car attract my attention and I get on the car and rest my head on the back of the passenger seat. He drives to the girls’ apartment and we make our way inside in silence.

The girls are sitting on the couch with a worried expression on their faces.

“It’s not what you think.” I start. “It had nothing to do with her.”

“Then what the fuck happened?” Ollie frowns.

So I tell them. I tell them about my confrontation and I tell them what he said and I tell them I agree and Jason says then you didn’t break up and I just look into his eyes because we both know that’s not true.

“But what did you tell him?” Marie asks. “I mean when he said all those things about you not being ready and all that? What did you say?”

I shake my head.

“Nothing.”

“Why?”

“Because I think he’s right.”

“He’s not.” Olivia frowns.

I can tell she is angry. No, she’s furious. I’m not used to this reaction from her. Usually, she’s the one who keeps calm and manages to calm us down. Marie is the one who gets mad, she’s the protective one. So to see Ollie like this is new to me.

“He’s fucking not.” She almost yells. “I mean are you kidding me? He knows what happened to you! He knows and he still didn’t tell you he had had an accident himself! And he chose not to tell you that sometimes he smokes weed when he knew that’s why Dylan died.”

Jason’s mouth opens but he doesn’t have time to say anything for Olivia’s palm rests in the air before him as a sign of stop.

“I don’t think it takes a detective to imagine that Indie might have some issues with weed.” She says through clenched teeth. “And you still listened to him and you forgave him and he fucking decided to still break up with you and now you get jealous, once, and he throws all that at you? I seriously can’t believe him! He’s turning you into this monster and you’re believing it and you’re not!”

I frown concern and surprised when she starts crying. Marie’s hand rests on her shoulder as we all remain silent and she just wipes her tears away.

“No, this is not about me.” She sniffs. “It’s just… I’m tired of seeing you like this, Indie. I’m tired of having you thinking everything is your responsibility and I think you’ve had enough! Fuck! And I’m mad because… You… You lost your fucking boyfriend and you would think he would understand some shit is fucking hard for you and instead here I have my friend crying in my house because this fucking selfish idiot made her feel as if she was some cruel person… You’re not.”

Olivia rests her back against the cushions of the couch and takes a deep breath. She sobs a little more and I find myself pouting as I stare at her.

“When Jack left me for Dulce, you were there for me. When my parents got a divorce, you were there for me. When my brother had the accident, you were there for me.” Her voice croaks again. “And every time Marie’s been sad, you’ve just left everything to come be with her and when David dumped Jason in the fucking highway, who did he call?”

Now I’m crying too and so is Marie.

“So no, I won’t have the best person I know thinking she’s a monster.”

I hug her and we both cry and only when we’ve calmed down, I call my Mum and tell her I’m having lunch with the girls. I promise her tea and biscuits. Selfishly needing some Mum-daughter time too.

After lunch, Ollie falls asleep on the couch halfway through the movie and when it ends, I catch Jason staring at her with a tender smile on his lips.

“She’s fierce, that one.” He whispers.

“Thank God she didn’t have Harry at hands’ reach.” Marie adds.

I giggle softly.

“I know, I wasn’t expecting that.”

Jason’s eyes set on mine and I know he’s trying to read my mind. I let him.

“I think they’re both right.” Jason whispers.

I frown.

“She doesn’t know what we talked about just yesterday.” He reasons. “Maybe if she knew, she wouldn’t have been so hard on him.”

“What did you talk about yesterday?”

“I… I told Jason I felt terrible for the way I treated Harry sometimes. I know it’s just self-destructive shit. I hate doing it but I do and I’ve ended up hurting him. I mean he was right about that pattern he figured out. I do get scare and then push him away and then I regret it so he forgives me and we start all over again.”

“Do you really think you’re bad for him?” Marie whispers.

I look ahead. I think yes. We’ve fought a lot of times. Love is not supposed to be so hard. I think that’s the idea that’s been passed through generations because of Wuthering Heights or Pride and Prejudice but I don’t think that’s what love is. Love should be like loving a brother or a mother. It shouldn’t hurt, it shouldn’t bring more pain than happiness.

“Adam says he thinks you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to Harry.” She tells me. “He says he hasn’t seen Harry this happy since before the accident and that he can see the old Harry coming back. When he said that, I thought the same thing was true for you. I can see you, really, fully happy sometimes. So, as much as I was against you two at the beginning, I cannot agree with you on this.”

“We had a fight at your beach house. There I accused him of being an addict and he said he was an addict, but not to weed.” I nod my head. “Now, if this was some sort of toxic love movie, I would be thrilled that he said that but I’m not. I don’t want him to be addicted to me because addictions are not healthy.”

“I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean it like that.” Jason says.

“He did.” I assure him. “We fight too much.”

“You’re a girl who lost her boyfriend and who thinks she doesn’t deserve to fall in love again and he’s a guy who thinks he ruins his sister’s life and put her on a wheelchair so he also thinks he doesn’t deserve love. Why do you think you fight?”

“See? We’re not good for one another.”

“I beg to differ.”

“So if you don’t want that, what do you want?” Marie asks.

“I just want him to be happy.” I shrug. “He’s genuinely good and I don’t want to hurt him.”

Both Jason and Marie smile but I frown.

“He turns you into such a softie. You really like him.” Marie smiles.

“Of course, I do.”

She smiles.

“He told me he loved me last night.” I confess and both my friends grin and get closer to me. “This morning I thought he didn’t even remember but he just thought that it was going to scare me so he didn’t mention it. He did give me a lot of opportunities to tell him myself so I guess he was just finding out if I felt the same.”

“Well, do you?” Marie asks.

“What does it matter now? He doesn’t want me.”

“There’s no way he loves you on Friday night and doesn’t want you on Saturday morning. That’s not how love works.”

I shrug.

“It’s not the same, you can love someone and still don’t want them.”

“You’re head over heels in love with him like a bitch.” Jason states as if he had just realized that.

I sigh.

I don’t deny it.

Yes, I am.

I am head over heels in love with Harry.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagines #harry styles fluff #harry styles and reader #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles #harry styles new

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babybuckleydiaz · 4 years

Note

For a promt: After like a week or two after 3x15 Buck, Eddie and Chris has a movie night wich ends with Buck spending the night in the Diaz house where Eddie finds out Buck is not okay. He is having nightmares shouting out Chris` and Eddie`s name when the tsunami and Eddie being trapped morphes into one dream with Buck waking up and having panic attacks.

Warnings: swearing, panic attack, drowning, nightmares and spoilers for some of the eps. established buddie, like I always do :)

This kinda got away from me, not gonna lie but I was really excited to get this prompt. It easily my longest one-shot at the moment, but I hope you guys liked it. Thank you so much for the request, it was a really good one to write. Also, every time I read a fic that has a nightmare scene, it’s just a straight up flashback. Also every time I write a fic Eddie seems to be the ceo of nicknames.

“No, it’s Bucky’s turn to pick!” Eddie rolls his eyes and sits back down, having just gotten up to pick another movie for them to watch but it seems as though his son was going to have other ideas about that. “Don’t feel so bad, Eds.” Buck begins with a laugh from where he had been sitting on the other side of Christopher, who looks up between Buck and his father with a happy expression adoring his face. “If I’m picking the movie, then it actually means Chris is picking it.” Eddie sniggered at what his boyfriend had said and agreed, because Buck was completely wrapped around Christopher’s finger and would so absolutely anything the kid asked of him. It was enduring most of the time.

“He’s right, daddy.” Christopher adds on with a serious expression, causing Eddie to burst out into laughter as he shakes his head at his kid’s honesty, Buck rolling his eyes with a cheerful smile stretched across his lips. “Hey, the kids honest.” Christopher giggles so loudly when Buck leans over to tickle his stomach before getting up, remembering what movie Christopher had said during dinner that he wanted to watch. “Let me guess. Moana.” Eddie sighs with an annoyed look, he’s been forced to watch that movie so many times since he bought it, especially after the Tsunami happened. Christopher took a fascination with the movie, and Eddie knew it was because it must have helped to see the water as something that he doesn’t need to be scared of anymore. Eddie takes a moment to look at Buck, who he knows has developed such a large fear of water because of the event. The older firefighter doesn’t blame him in the slightest, Buck and Christopher had almost died and that was enough to make him not fond of water either.

“You’re are correct, Mr Diaz.” Buck says over his shoulder as he takes a moment to search for the movie, grumbling about how Eddie has far too many DVDs when all these movies were online. Eddie smiles, that’s rich coming from someone who has a million CDs when he has the same music on his phone.

“Ha! Found it!” Buck cried out in triumph and held up the movie case like it was treasure, and Eddie know he’s doing it because it will get a laugh out of Christopher. And that’s what the young boy does without fail, his giggling filling the room as he looks up at his father with the happiest expression on his face. “Bucky’s silly.” He notes and Buck looks over his shoulder to glare at Buck when his boyfriend laughs and agrees with his son. “Wow, betrayed by my own boys.” Eddie can’t help but think about how much he loves this man, who has done nothing but made him and his son’s life so much happier; able to brighten their lives just by being around.

“You’re silly, but we love you Bucky.” Buck smiles so happily at Christopher when he had spoken. “Well, then you’re both forgiven.” He retorts with a serious look in his eyes, even though there was a sly smile worming its way onto his face. “Oh hey, I don’t here I love you guys, Buck. That’s a bit mean.” Eddie joins in on the joking as well, having a mock expression of disbelief on his face. Buck stands up after he’s put on the movie, returning to his spot on the couch beside Christopher; sticking his tongue out at Eddie in response. To which Eddie just rolls his eyes and wonders why he loves someone who has the personality of a six year old. “I love you guys too.” Buck ends up saying it anyway, and despite the false reluctance in his voice the look in his eyes has nothing but love for the two people sitting on the couch with him.

“Shh, movie’s starting!”

Eddie and Buck exchange a look with silent laughs when Christopher had spoken, his eyes fixated to the screen as the movie began to play. Christopher leans into Buck’s side, the older man wrapping his arm around the kid as he too begins to watch the movie. Eddie takes this moment to snap a picture of the two most important people in his life curled up together; making his heart completely melt in his chest. He takes the time to send the photo to Maddie, who loved getting these photos of her brother being content and happy with his family. She said it made her so happy that someone loved his brother as much as he and Christopher did, that he deserved to this type of love more than anyone she knew.

From: Future Sis-In-Law they look so happy! Keep up the good work, Diaz!

At the message, Eddie smiles as he phones his eyes and put his phone back into his pocket and begins to watch the movie with his family; both of his boys’ eyes fixated to the screen.

There was one part in the movie that Eddie was a little worried about, where Moana seems as though she is going to drown and it made him worry about Buck’s reaction to it. So sure enough, when the part came on Eddie found himself turning his head to look at Buck and his reaction to it. He could see how Buck had a deep frown on his face, his mouth pressed into a tight line, his body seeming to tense up.

Eddie reached out and took Buck’s hand into his own, the younger man looking over at him and giving him a grateful smile as he gave the hand in his a gentle squeeze. The action was a wordless ‘I’m okay’ that he didn’t want to say out loud; but it showed his thankfulness for his boyfriend understanding him easily.

They got through the remainder of the movie easily, Buck growing relaxed once more as he kept Eddie’s hand in his own the entire time with Christopher still lying against him. The young boy was growing tired, eyes barely able to stay open by the time the credits to the movie rolled down the screen, Buck looking down at the boy in his arms. “Ready for bed, kiddo?” His voice is barely above a whisper, not wanting to disturb the relaxed and peacefulness they found themselves in. Christopher yawned loudly as he nodded his head but no move to remove himself from Buck, Eddie chuckling at the action. “You wanna put him to bed then?” Buck didn’t hesitate and showed no annoyance at having to do it; instead he nodded his head as he picked the boy up who in turn rested his head against the man’s shoulder.

“I’ll meet you in bed, babe.” Buck explained as he began to small trek into Christopher, Eddie just sitting there and watching him disappear down the hallway for a moment. Eddie got up and burned off the movie, not bothering to clean up the cups that sat empty on the table and would leave them for tomorrow morning, he was tired and just looking forward to going to sleep. Yawning, Eddie made his way into the bedroom and began to get himself ready for bed with tired movements. Climbing into the bed, he laid there awake as he waited for his boyfriend to enter; which he did a minute after he got comfortable.

“Kid fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.” Buck noted with a fond chuckle as he began to get ready for bed himself, Eddie noting how tired he looked as he moved around the room. “If it was any other movie he would have fallen asleep halfway through.” Eddie spoke with a smile, one that Buck couldn’t see in the darkness of the room but could hear when he talked.

Buck was quiet as he climbed into the bed, yawning quietly but dramatically as he lay down beside his boyfriend. Both of them moved without talking as Buck lay on his side, Eddie movie to bring the other flush against his chest and wrap an arm around his waist. Eddie pressed a kiss to the back of Buck’s head, and in turn Buck had reached down to entwine his finger’s wish Eddie’s, already beginning to doze off. “Night, baby.” Eddie said, already beginning to fall asleep once he grew comfortable with the position and Buck humming in response to what had been said. It was obvious that he was already beginning to doze off in the arms of the man that he loved.

“Wake me up early and I’ll kill you.” Was the last thing that Buck had the strength to say with words slurred with sleep, Eddie snorting as he briefly smiled. They both had a day off tomorrow, something that doesn’t happen that often at the same time and they were going to spend it well; and that meant sleeping all day after Abuela picked up Christopher for a sleepover.

------------

Buck doesn’t know how he found himself back underwater, vision blurred and barely able to see his own hand in front of his own face; surrounded by dirtied water and too much debris. His lungs screamed for him to take a breath as he fought his way to the surface, using everything he had in him to not get dragged down by a force that he couldn’t see.

He took a giant heap of oxygen when he finally managed to break the surface of the water, splashing around as he managed to gather his own surroundings and what was going on. The Tsunami, he was in the tsunami and all he knew is that he didn’t have Christopher with him. Where was Christopher? He felt as though someone had gripped his heart with their bare hands and gave it a crushing squeeze with the amount of fear that worked throughout his body. “Christopher!” He screamed, as loud as he could despite the aching in his throat and how chocked up it was with the need to break down and sob. He grunted in pain when he felt something knock into him, and for a moment he found himself flailing back underneath the water. He looked down, eyes hurting, and made a noise of fear when he saw a hand gripping his ankle, the person attached to it doing what they could to drag him down.

With his heart in his throat, Buck kicked at the hand in an attempt to get free and reach the surface, he needed to find Christopher and make sure they kid was okay. He looked at the face of the person holding his legs, seeing huge white eyes with no pupils and mouth open in a snarl. He let out all the air he had trapped in his lungs with with an open mouth scream, the sound muffled by the water rushing into his mouth. He gave one more kick and was able to finally get himself free, moving as quick as he can to get himself free and rush as quick as he could to the surface once again.

He didn’t even stop as he dragged lungs into his pain filled lungs, moving quickly as he could away from the area that wanted to become his doom. “Christopher!” His voice broke as he screamed, looking around for any sign of the boy that he loved as his own; feeling nothing but fear when he didn’t get a response. “Chris! Please, where are you?!” Buck’s filled with nothing but desperation as he screamed as loud as he could, tears already sliding down his cheeks as he looked around wildly.

“Buck!”

Buck’s head turned so quickly in the direction that he heard Christopher’s voice come from, sobbing in relief when he saw the little boy holding onto a light pole in an attempt to keep himself above the water. “Christopher! Keep calling out to me, I’m coming!” As the words left his mouth, the young man was already on the move towards the young boy, ignoring how badly his own body ached as he swam towards Christopher. “Buck! Help!” The fear that was in the boy’s voice broke Buck’s heart to hear, but hearing Christopher was better than not hearing him at all; it meant he was still above water.

He swam and swam as quickly as he could, just out of arms reach from the boy when he saw Christopher’s grip on the light pole loosen. Buck watched with absolute horror as the kid was dragged under the water once again, one final cry of Buck’s name before he was completely gone. “No! Christopher! No!” He screamed, only to be pulled under the water once again by the grip on his ankle, and he braced himself to be forced under the surface once more.

Only he hit solid ground.

He was no longer in the tsunami, instead he found himself standing in the rain surrounded by the team at the 118, each one looking devastated as they stood around. Buck gasped as he realised where he was, Eddie was in danger and Buck wasn’t there to have his back. “We gotta help him! Bobby!” When Buck cried that out he could still taste the salt water in his mouth, it still felt like his lungs had been filling up with water despite being on solid ground. “He’s gone, Buck! We can’t get to him. He’s gone.” Bobby was speaking to him, but Buck found that he couldn’t accept the words that were being spoken to him. No! They can’t just give up on Eddie, not when he would never even dream of giving up on any of them. “Bobby, we can’t leave him down there. We can’t do that!” The sob was threatening to be torn from his throat when he saw the remorseful look on his team’s face and he felt shocked; they were really giving up on Eddie. “Alright, pack it up. We can’t do anything.” Buck could only watch, completely dumbfounded because this isn’t how this was supposed to go, they can’t just leave Eddie to die.

“Cap, no! Please, he’s still alive.” He was no longer yelling, in fact he was downright pleading as tears streamed down his face. He momentarily looked down, and he frowned when he noticed that he was wearing the close he wore on the day the tsunami hit. He shook his head, that wasn’t the important thing right now. The important thing was that Eddie was down there and they needed to get to him, but no one was doing anything about it.

“Even if he’s gone, we can’t leave him.” Buck explained, but it seemed to go on deaf ears as he was ignored by everyone around him; no one bothering with a response to the crying firefighter.

So Buck did the only thing that he was able to. He dropped to the ground and began to dig into the dirt with his own bare hands.

“Eddie! Please!” He begged, sobbing as he continued to dig; ignoring the stinging pain in his hands as he refused to give up.

“Buck, wake up!”

Buck looked up, looking utterly confused and lost as he heard Eddie’s voice come from somewhere around him, but that didn’t make any sense to his already scrambled thoughts. Eddie was stuck, and he needed to get to him. “Eddie.” He cried out, the word barely understandable in amongst the sobs that didn’t seem to stop.

“Evan! Come on, I need you to wake up.”

Buck gave a choked cry of Eddie’s name as he bolted upright into a sitting position, breaths harsh and deep as he looked around him with wide eyes. Eddie was by his side the instant he was up, moving to sit in front of his partner, already knowing that his open eyes weren’t seeing anything that was in front of him. “Hey, hey, hey. You’re okay, Evan. You’re safe, I promise.” Eddie’s own tone was filled with desperation because his loved one was in pain and he wasn’t able to help him right now; and the thought of being useless was tearing his heart up.

“No... There’s water eve-everywhere. Chris…” Buck’s voice was coming out in a whimper, the sound so incredibly small and heartbreak for Eddie to hear. “No, sweetheart. There’s no water. Come on, Evan. Hear my voice.” Eddie begged, wanting to reach out and touch his partner but knowing that right now it would most likely do more damage than good; he needed his boyfriend to be able to understand him. “Come on, Evan. Come back to me, you’re safe. Christopher is safe. We all are.” Promised Eddie and he saw Buck shift his eyes to him, tears endlessly sliding down his cheeks as he shook his head.

“Eddie.” Whined Buck with the most hurt sob that Eddie has ever heard, his entire body shaking as he reached out and latched onto the material of Eddie’s shirt. He needed to feel something to let him know that Eddie was in front of him, that he still wasn’t stuck under the ground. “Yeah, baby. It’s Eddie.” Promised Eddie, and since Buck had grabbed onto him and began to reach forward to place his hands on Buck’s cheeks; he needs the other to look at him completely. “Alright love, I’m going to place my hands on your face, okay?” He warned beforehand, not wanting to do anything to frighten the man more than he already was.

There was some relief he felt when Buck didn’t flinch away or hit his hands the moment the palm of his hand came in contact with the pale skin of his cheeks. “Hey, look at me. And only me, okay.” Buck’s eyes were blinking from Eddie to around the room, shaking it fear at something he could see that Eddie couldn’t. “Water. It’s everywhere.” He explained in a broken voice, still trapped inside his nightmare despite having woken up. “Evan, look at me. Just at me.” Eddie’s voice had taken more of a serious tone, his words still kind and it seemed to work, Buck letting his eye’s fall on Eddie’s own.

“There isn’t any water, love. You’re in our bed, you’re safe.” There was a tone in Eddie’s voice, one that begged for Buck to trust in what he was saying. “You trust me, yeah?” He asked, and despite the way that Buck’s mind was working against him he didn’t even hesitate before nodding his head, not wanting to reply on his voice right now. “Good, then trust me when I say that there isn’t any water in sight.” Eddie could tell that Buck’s mind was beginning to become his own once again, can see it in his eyes when he looked over Eddie’s shoulder and around the room.

“There isn’t any water…” Buck whispered, and that seemed to switch something in his mind because the moment he uttered those words he couldn’t help but burst into a fit of harsh sounding sobs. And Eddie didn’t even hesitate for a moment, he pulled Buck into his arms and let the younger man bury his face in the crook of his neck. Buck’s entire body was shaking under the force of his own crying, hands holding onto the front of Eddie’s shirt with a deadly tight grip.

“I have you, you’re okay. You’re okay.” Eddie soothed in the gentlest voice that Buck has ever heard, the tone deep and vibrations when he spoke helping Buck to accept that Eddie was here and alive. “You don’t need to talk right now, okay? I have you, we’re all safe and okay.” Eddie explained, knowing that Buck wasn’t someone who could find comfort in talking about his nightmares the moment it happened. It helped him to wait, until he was completely calm and not on the verge of passing out because of a panic attack; so Eddie wasn’t going to force him.

“I-I need to see Chris. P-Please.” Begged Buck, fearing that for some reason Eddie would deny the request to just walk down the hall and look into the kid’s room. But Eddie doesn’t do that, instead he pulls Buck away from his body just enough to smile comfortingly at him; taking a moment to cut the side of his face and use the pad of his thumb to wipe away tears. “Of course we can, sweetheart.”

Sighing in relief, Buck allowed himself to be helped up out of the bed and down the hall; Eddie refusing to let him go for even a second. Not that it was something that bothered Buck, instead it was something that was helping to ground him in reality. Eddie was quiet as he opened the door to Christopher’s room, beyond glad that the young boy had managed to stay a sleep even despite Buck yelling in his sleep. He turned his attention to Buck, able to see how the other man visibly sagged in relief when he saw that they kid was sleeping in bed; safe.

“Thank you.” Whispered Buck, looking up at his boyfriend with his eyes shiny with fresh tears, and Eddie smiled at him so softly as he closed the door to Christopher’s room. “You don’t need to thank me, baby. Not for this.” He reminded, not surprised at all when the other man didn’t decide to respond to what had been said. “Do you wanna go lay down, it’s still early?” Questioned Eddie, not moving from the hallway until he knew what it was that Buck wanted to do, what it was that would help him right now.

“I think I might make a cup of tea first.” Is what Buck had responded with and Eddie doesn’t feel any annoyance at not being able to go back to sleep, not when Buck needed him after the terrible night that he had just had. “Alright, you go ahead and sit on the couch, I’ll make it for you.” Eddie easily offered, because he also knows that his boyfriend prefers how he makes their tea anyway, always complaining that he can’t make it as good. “No wait, I wanna stay with you.” Buck quickly said, the panic in his eyes at being alone causing Eddie’s heart to clench painfully inside his chest. “Hey, that’s okay, love.” The dark haired man quickly consoled, not wanting Buck to feel bad for the sudden loud and begging tone. “Come on, then. Do you wanna talk now or in the morning?” Buck seemed to take a moment to think about the question he had been asked as they entered the kitchen, the taller one sitting at the table while Eddie worked away to make two cups of tea. “Uhm, tomorrow… if that’s alright?”

“That’s perfectly fine, Buck. We can take this at your pace, there isn’t any rush.” Buck couldn’t help but feel tears burn in his eyes again, unable to believe that someone as wonderful and patient as Eddie loved him. He wonders how the hell he got so lucky when Eddie asked him out on that date last year. “You’re amazing, Eds. You know that, right?” The words that Buck had said caused Eddie to smile bashfully, looking so damn handsome as he stood there doing something as making a cup of tea. “And you’re a sweetheart. You know that, right?”

Buck was so grateful for this, that Eddie was able to understand that he needed to distraction to keep his mind away from the nightmare that his own brain had forced upon him. Eddie was always able to be so understanding of what Buck needed without even having talk about it, because he knew Buck better than anyone else ever has before. And Buck is so deeply in love with him.

He just continues to listen as Eddie talks enough for the both of them, Buck’s smile soft and loving as he just takes in the scene. Just listening to Eddie ramble about whatever came to his head; a smile playing on his face the entire time.

#anonymous #prompt fill #buddie fic #buddie #drowning tw #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #buck x eddie #this really got away from me #it was really fun to write

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lilywoood · 5 years

Text

Bubble Wednesday 2

For my lovely @translucent-bisexual to whom I promised a second part and for all of you as an early V-day gift here is a second non expected part two of the Bubble serie ♥️

Also tagging : @cherishingstydia @felicitous-one @diazbuckleysworld @chrrlees @gxtop @impossiblealice @hardychick89

Word count : 1572

Song : Lover - Taylor Swift

It was Saturday night, usually Saturday night rhymed with superheroes movies marathon, greasy snacks, candies and diet coke, it also rhymed with pillow forts and staying up late until 1 am, they loved Saturday night, they lived for it, it was a Diaz-Buckley family tradition, but ever since the engagement announcement Saturday night became wedding night planning, which meant that Chris was in bed earlier, which also meant that their home was invaded by three crazy bridemaidzillas (aka Maddie, Pepa and abuela), they were usually there from 7pm to 11pm, and even though at first they hadn’t mind the help, quite the opposite,but right now Buck couldn’t take it anymore and the more Saturday they spent tearing his ears off with wedding stuff the more he found himself losing patience and faking to enjoy their presence.

Yes he was unexperienced in everything that came close to wedding preparation, it wasn’t his fault though he’d never pictured himself getting married one day, always believing that he was too much of a disaster to be marriage material, it wasn’t until Eddie that he believed he could have his happily ever after too, still when he pictured what being married looked like he always imagined that it was something quaint, peaceful and quiet like Eddie and his relationship.

Right now the bridemaidzillas were arguing about tablecloths color when he decided that enough was enough, he loved them, he truly loved them but each and every one had its own limits and for Buck those were tablecloths.

Plus he missed Eddie, missed their alone time , they needed a break, needed to find each other back, needed to take back their wedding.

Eddie was patiently waiting the end of his shift playing candy crush when the message notification popped out signaling a new text from Buck, he chuckled as he read the two words he’d been dreaming of for weeks now, Buck was asking for ‘‘Bubble Wednesday’’ and Eddie was surprised that he’d stuck as long as he did with those three.

~ ‘‘That bad” he texted back waiting patiently for the three little dots to transform into a text, which he was sure would be entertaining.

~ “Maddie is asking Pepa if you can lift me like Patrick Swayze in dirty dancing” Buck replied adding lot of emoji’s to show him how desperate he was to get out of the usual Saturday wedding planning .

~”Cherry and strawberries” he sent back even though he was more entitled by vanilla candles and monoi soap with the day he had, his shift had been beyond difficult between three houses fires caused by people smoking inside and almost losing a kid because of the smoke inhalation he just wanted to come home and relax with his favorite scents.

~”Nah, vanilla and monoi this time” Buck replied, Eddie smiled at his phone a bit awed that Buck had knew right away what he needed, though after all this time he knew he shouldn’t be, even before they started dating Buck always seemed to read him perfectly.

Buck found himself smiling while absent mildly caressing his locker screen, it was a picture of Chris, Eddie and him at their engagement party two months ago, it was the only thing that could make him feel calm and peaceful enough the past few days, and more so on Saturdays.

He remember how they had been unaware of Hen taking their picture until she had texting it to him, that pictures was his treasure, it was the embodiment of happiness for him, it was just him and his boys dressed in white and goofing around with cupcakes.

He remembered the engagement party, it had been simple, just them, their close friends and family, when Athena and Bobby had surprised them with it they had been so happy, so grateful, he remembered how he naively exclaimed that he wanted the same thing for their wedding totally ignoring that by saying this out loud chaos would ensue, immediately after his declaration Pepa, Maddie and abuela volunteered themselves to make that silly dream happen and now two months later he was stuck in his living-room suffering his bridemaidzillas bickering about tuxedos color, this was where the line had definitely been crossed as Eddie and him had already picked what the three of them were going to wear that day, he reminded himself that he loved those women but right now they needed to go.

-Eddie is on his way, he announced cutting short their quarrel before being interrupted by Pepa.

-Perfect, she smiled looking at her two stooges, that way Edmundo would tell us if he prefer a black and boring tuxedo or the blue one I picked for him, she babbled happily.

-Girls, Buck sighed pitching the bridge of his nose, he’s on his way and clearly not in the mood, he got a really rough shift and he wants to sleep it off, he half lied.

-Oh alright, Maddie smiled squeezing his hand in understanding, we’ll see ourselves out then, she added kissing his cheek, take care of him and see you next Saturday, she singsang followed by the two older women.

Buck closed the door sighing in relief after he made sure they were really gone, he then sent a quick text to Eddie telling him that the coast was clear, before he went on to prepare everything for their first ‘‘Bubble Wednesday’’ as an engaged pair.

It was close to midnight when Eddie finally came home from his shift, saying he was tired would have been an understatement, he was beat but also hyped to see what kind of ‘‘Bubble Wednesday’’ Buck organized for him, the hype lasted for five seconds though as his parked his car he noticed that all the lights were off inside and wondered if it meant that Buck had to cancel their little rendezvous.

He trudged to the door bummed and sad at the perspective to come home to a silent house and sleeping Buck, almost forgetting how his fiancé loved surprise and even more surprising him, the bad mood and sadness quickly left him the minute he opened the door to find a trail of white and pink roses petal on the floor illuminated by the trembling light of his favorites vanilla candles.

He hastily threw his duffel on the sofa and followed the path in eager anticipation, he quickly made his way to their bathroom and had to repress a laugh at the sight of Buck already in the tub his chest covered in glittered shaped heart, a red roses between his teeth while he wiggled his brows seductively at him.

-Took you long enough, he stated suavely tending him the rose.

-Would you rather I’d come sooner leaving you no time to prepare everything, Eddie retorted taking the flower and bending to kiss his forehead.

-Once again you’re no fun, he pouted.

-Oh I’m no fun, he questioned stopping his undressing, I guess that I’ll shower alone then, he shrugged laughing when Buck started to growl.

-You better get your pretty ass in that tub or so god help me.

-There, there, he chuckled getting rid of his pant and joining him in the tub.

He let himself melt against Buck strong and glittered chest, the blond held him tightly against him brushing his hair with the tip of his nose, he then started to move his hand up and down his back, he felt something cold ,rubbed on it and instantly knew that Buck was using the oil he got them for V-day, he was making small circles with his thumbs, untangling the knot in his back, making moan in delight, he felt the pressure leave his body and for the first time in two months he felt himself relax, gone were the bridemaidzillas impromptu calls, gone was the extravagant wedding mess, it was just him and Buck, it was finally peaceful and quiet.

-God I missed this so much, he moaned feeling himself melt a bit more under Buck’s professional touch.

-What the back rub or me, he joked kissing his temple.

-Both, Eddie chuckled, past few months had been hectic, he groaned meeting the blond eyes, felt like we only crossed path, he added, I missed you.

-I know, I missed you too, Buck sighed, wedding stuff are getting a bit out of hand.

-That putting it nicely.

-You know what, Buck mused.

-No what, Eddie mumbled fearing where it was going

-We should elope, he declared matter of factly his eyes gleaming with excitement

-I think we should address your tendencies for naked proposition, Eddie joked biting his lips

-I’m being serious Edmundo, Buck pouted

-Yeah?

-Yes, he breathed softly taking Eddie’s face in his hands, that wedding extravaganza it isn’t us at all, he croaked, we don’t need lilac tablecloth or some hipster band Maddie found god know where...

-Lilac tablecloth, Eddie interrupted

-Yes lilac, Buck gasped in fake horror, but seriously Ed what do you say?

-Just us and Chris, he demanded, gaining an eager nod from the younger man, and you’ll deal with the three musketeer’s wrath

-Yes, yes and yes, Buck giggled, as long as we get married in our own way and as long as become Evan Diaz faster then I’ll deal with everything, he beamed

-Evan Diaz, Eddie smiled softly, it have a nice ring, he breathed kissing him lovingly.

#buddie fluff #fluff #buddie #bubble wednesday #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911fic #911onfox #tv:911

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freddiesaysalright · 5 years

Text

Peace Like A River Part 3

A Gwilym Lee x Reader Story

Summary: Reader is a stand up comic with a pretty dark past. She has a three new lights in her life: her daughter, Violet; her anonymous correspondent, Dear Friend; and Gwilym Lee.

Word Count: 3.8K

Tag List: @psychosupernatural @someone-get-a-medic @bensrhapsody @deakyclicks @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @minigranger @simmisblog @assembledherethevolunteers @lookuptotheskiesandsee @readinghorn @riddikuluslypotter @doingalrightt @misslolasworld If you want to be added, let me know!

A/N: Glad you guys are liking this one! Hope you enjoy this next part! Shit gets real lol

Part I Part II

Part 3 here we go!!!

The following day, you went shopping with Stacy and Violet to find a gown for the charity gala. Boston wasn’t quite the shopping dream of New York, but it still had plenty to choose from. It reminded you of the first time you went to the Emmys and shopped for a dress. It was the most glamorous thing you had ever done.

“That’s really the only time you’ve been gown shopping?” Stacy wondered. “What about when you got married?”

“Henry and I had a courthouse wedding,” you said with a shrug. “We were twenty years old and couldn’t afford a big event.”

“I’m sure you still looked beautiful,” she insisted with a smile.

“It hardly matters now,” you returned, holding the door open for her and Violet as you went into the first boutique.

An associate immediately came over and offered to help. Her name was Lisa and she was about your age, with a wide, eager smile. You took her up on her offer since you tended to get lost in places like this.

“Go ahead and pick out anything that catches your eye, and I’ll get you a glass of champagne,” she said sweetly.

She went into the back while you perused the racks of gowns. They were designer and beautiful. You tried to imagine Gwilym’s face at each one. Violet called to you from another rack.

“Mommy, look! Try this one!”

She had her hand on the skirt of a poofy pink ball gown. It was a bit young for you. You were certain it was meant for a girl’s quinceañera and not a grown woman’s charity gala, but Violet was so excited about it. You sighed and smiled.

“Alright, tell Lisa when she comes back to put it in my fitting room,” you said.

Lisa emerged with two glasses of champagne and a sippy cup of sparkling grape juice for Violet. When Violet showed her the dress, Lisa shot you an uncertain look, but you shrugged.

“Just to try on,” you said. “We can indulge her a bit.”

You and Stacy pulled a couple other gowns that captured your attention while Lisa put the ball gown in your changing room. Then you headed that way. Stacy took one of the chairs and Violet sat in her lap. Lisa closed the curtain and helped you into Violet’s choice first. You were surprised it fit you, but laughed when you saw it in the mirror. You looked ridiculous in it.

“Ready to show them?” Lisa asked.

“Oh, absolutely,” you returned.

She pulled back the curtain and you stepped out. You gave a twirl as Violet gasped.

“Mommy, like a princess!” she cried, clapping.

You laughed. “I don’t know if it’s right for tonight, but maybe next time, sweetie.”

She hung her head. “Aw, but it’s so pretty.”

“I do want to send Gwil a picture,” you said, and Stacy pulled out your phone.

“What are you going to say?” she wondered.

“I’m gonna tell him I’m wearing this,” you told her. “Just to mess with him.”

She giggled as she snapped a photo. “He’s gonna know you’re joking.”

You took your phone and typed out your message.

I’m wearing this tonight and you can’t stop me.

“Even so,” you said. “At least it’ll make him laugh.”

Gwilym was in the airport, waiting at his gate when his phone dinged and he saw the message from you. He opened it and did in fact burst out laughing.

Love it, he wrote back. Did your abuela make it for you?

You looked at your phone as Lisa unzipped the dress and you chuckled. You couldn’t believe he’d had the same thought as you about the dress’s most probable purpose.

Actually, Violet did, you replied. She’s an incredibly talented seamstress.

He quickly sent back, She certainly is. Is there money to be made with such a gifted child?

You gave Stacy your phone back so Lisa could continue to help you out of the ball gown. It was truly a beautiful dress, and some girl would be very lucky to wear it, whether she was coming of age or just going to the prom. But it was not for you. Lisa took it out of the changing room and helped you into Stacy’s pick.

It was a red, sequined gown that was skin tight. The neckline plunged almost to your belly button and the slit in the skirt came all the way up your thigh, almost to your hip. It made you incredibly uncomfortable. In the mirror, you caught a glimpse of the scar on your right side.

“Do you wanna show them?” Lisa asked. “You look dynamite in this.”

You shook your head and looked away.

“Are you trying mine on?” Stacy called.

“Yeah!” you returned. “Are you trying to make me look like Jessica Rabbit or is that just a coincidence?”

She laughed. “It was completely intentional.”

You rolled your eyes even though she couldn’t see you. “I’m not coming out, I look...well, I look bangin’ but a little too bangin’.”

Finally, you got into the dress you picked out. It was a black, satin dress that was fitted at the top with a loose skirt. It also had a slit, but it didn’t go up nearly as high. The sweetheart neckline and thin straps across your shoulders were very flattering. It was hard to convince yourself that you were beautiful, but as you gazed in the mirror in this dress, you knew you were. You could really imagine yourself beside Gwilym, and that he would be proud to have you on his arm.

“Wow,” Lisa breathed.

When you stepped out, Stacy choked on her champagne. Violet’s mouth fell open but she was grinning.

“Mommy’s a queen!” she exclaimed.

All of you gushed over the dress as you looked in the mirror. It was decided quickly that it was the dress. You looked too beautiful in it to not get it. They all helped you pick out shoes and accessories as well, so your whole look came together. Even you had to admit you looked absolutely killer. You were so excited to show Gwilym.

That night, he picked you up. Stacy came to stay with Violet while you put the finishing touches on your makeup before heading down to the lobby.

“Hey, Stace,” you said as she greeted your daughter. “You sent my letter this morning, right?”

“Yeah, I did,” she assured you. “But try to focus on Gwilym tonight. Dear Friend will still be there while you have a good night.”

You rolled your eyes. “Of course I’ll focus on Gwilym,” you said. “I was only double checking. Now, how do I look?”

“Incredible,” she told you, smiling.

“Okay, Vi, c’mere and give me a hug,” you said, kneeling down to wrap your arms around her.

“Have fun, Mommy,” she said, kissing your cheek. “I love you!”

“I love you too, precious,” you replied.

You rose to your full height and headed out the door, shooting them one last little wave before it closed behind you.

When you made it to the lobby, you spotted Gwilym, already waiting for you. He looked dashing in his suit and tie. You beamed at him when he spotted you and you began walking toward each other. His eyes went wide as he took you in.

“My God,” he sighed, looking you up and down. “You look...breathtaking.”

A blush crept up onto your cheeks. “Thank you!”

He didn’t answer as he continued to gaze at you.

“Gwil?” you said. “Are we gonna go or are you gonna stand here and stare?”

“I’m perfectly content to stand here and stare if you’d rather skip the gala,” he teased.

You shoved him playfully. “Let’s go, you idiot.”

He smiled and offered you his arm. You took it and followed him to a waiting car. He helped you into the backseat before sliding in beside you.

“So how’ve you been since we last saw each other?” he asked.

“Great, actually,” you told him. “I haven’t heard a thing from my family, and - perhaps best of all - I’m in love.”

Genuine happiness crossed his face as he smiled at you. “Are you really?”

“I am!” you said, giddily. “It’s such an incredible feeling.”

“The most beautiful and natural of feelings,” he quoted.

Your heart nearly stopped and you sucked in a sharp breath.

“W-what did you say?”

“The most beautiful and natural of feelings,” he repeated, brow furrowing at your reaction. “It’s a Tolstoy quote.”

“Yes, but-” you shook your head. “Never mind.”

Your heart hammered against your chest as you replayed this moment in your head. Could it be that your friend, Gwilym, was actually Dear Friend? They were certainly similar. Both were well-read, educated, English, and very kind. But that couldn’t possibly mean they were the same person. Thousands of people had those traits. And thousands of people had read Tolstoy. It was entirely likely that Gwilym and Dear Friend both were familiar with such a quote. You told your heart to slow down. It was just a coincidence.

“What about you?” you asked to change the subject. “How’s your love life?”

He chuckled. “I feel strongly for someone. But, I’m still not sure how she feels.”

“How strongly are you feeling?” you pressed.

He flushed and looked at the floor of the car. “Well...I’m very much in love with her.”

“Do you think she loves you too?”

“I think it’s likely, but she hasn’t said it.”

“Well, just talk to her,” you suggested. “I mean, relationships are all about communication. It can’t hurt to ask her the blunt question and she how she takes it.” You put your hand on his. “Sometimes, you have to take a risk.”

“Thank you,” he said with a small smile. “And really, Y/N, I am so glad for you. Even when we first met, I thought that of everyone, you were a person who deserves true love and happiness.”

It was your turn to blush. “That means a lot. Thank you, Gwilym.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“Now, tell me about this ex,” you said. “Why did you need a date so badly?”

“It’s a bit weird,” he began. “We only went out a few times, but it was never serious enough where we slept together or anything. I figured out rather quickly she was using me to network.”

“Ew,” you said, wrinkling your nose. “Why are you going to her stupid party?”

“Y/N, it’s for charity,” he reminded you. “Just because I don’t necessarily like her doesn’t mean I don’t care about important causes.”

“What is this important cause?” you wondered.

“The proceeds are going to a women’s shelter here in Boston,” he said.

You huffed. It was hard to argue with that.

When you reached the venue, Gwilym helped you out of the car and you walked inside. It was an art gallery and you wondered how any of this worked. You figured if an organization had the money to throw this sort of party, then they had that money to give to the cause. The need for people to parade about their wealth in order to give to the “less fortunate” made you a bit sick. It was a beautiful party, but you found it hard to appreciate.

You walked over to the table where they were serving drinks while Gwilym went to say hello to some people he knew. That first crisp sip of wine was great and helped ease some nerves that had risen. You always felt out of place in these circles. A tall, blonde woman approached you with a nasty nice smile on her face.

“Hi,” she said, her voice dripping with an emotion you couldn’t quite name. She already didn’t like you, you could tell. But for what reason remained to be seen. “I’ve never seen you before. What’s your name?”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you told her. “I’ve never been here before. Are you the hostess?”

“I am,” she replied, in that same uptight, trying to hard to seem calm and gracious voice. “I’m Helen Albright and I’ve organized this event. You must be here as a plus one.”

“I am,” you told her, resisting a brutal urge to mimic her tone. “I’m here with Gwilym Lee.”

You saw him approaching out of the corner of your eye. Helen didn’t see since her back was facing him. You gave a subtle pump with your hand to signal him to stop. He did, a bit confused, but stood close enough to hear what you said.

“Oh, yes, Gwilym and I are old friends,” she said. “Are you his girlfriend or something?”

“Yes,” you answered. “I’m his girlfriend. Didn’t you two kinda...have a thing?”

She laughed humorlessly. “It was nothing really.”

You let out a low whistle. “I don’t know how you got out of it.”

You caught Gwilym frowning, and held back a laugh. Helen looked confused.

“What...what do you mean?” she wondered.

“Honestly,” you said, under your breath, but Gwilym could still hear. “He’s a bit too much for me in bed.”

Gwilym choked on the sip of whiskey he was taking, and you bit your lip to stop your smirk. Helen looked astonished.

“What?!” she gasped.

“Yeah,” you went on. “I used to think I’d love starting every day with two or three orgasms, but after a while, it gets to be kinda overwhelming.”

“T-two or three?” she squeaked.

You nodded. “And that’s just with his mouth.”

Her cheeks were turning bright red. Gwilym’s mouth was hanging open, just gawking at you.

“He seems like your typical nice guy, but girl, in the bedroom, he is a straight up animal,” you continued. “I think I might have to end it because it’s so much, but I’m honestly afraid I’ll never have sex this good again.”

She was wringing her hands and could not look you in the face. Her proud head finally lowered. Her cheeks were pink and sweat beaded at her hairline.

“How did you manage it?” you asked. “Letting that go?”

“I - well - we never - I didn’t -” she sputtered.

“Oh, I see,” you relieved her. “You never got there. Well, it’s probably for the best. I mean, I’m basically ruined for all other men.”

At this point, Gwilym could take it no longer and approached, slipping an arm around your waist. You beamed at him.

“Hi, baby,” you greeted. “Enjoying yourself?”

“Immensely,” he returned, kissing you on the forehead. “I see you’ve met Helen.”

“I have,” you said.

Helen finally turned eyes on Gwilym, and you saw a fresh hunger there as she looked him up and down. You got to her. She regretted what she had done.

“H-how are you, Gwilym?” she asked, batting her eyes.

“Excellent,” he said smoothly. “This really is a wonderful gala you’ve thrown. How do you do it?”

“Well, I’ve got lots of time on my hands,” she said with a casual shrug, recovering at last from her blushing.

“Lucky,” he said. “Not us, right love?” He shot you a smug look. “We stay very busy.” He accentuated the last word with swift pat on your ass.

You gasped and giggled when his large hand made contact. It sent a wave of heat through you that took you by surprise. A sudden image flashed through your mind - Gwilym, shirt off, lips on your neck, hands on your rear, and hips between your thighs. You cleared your throat and took a sip of wine to bring you back to reality.

“Very busy,” you said huskily, furthering the joke which had frustratingly turned against you.

Helen sighed and excused herself at last, giving Gwil one last wistful look before disappearing into the crowd.

“You are a naughty thing, aren’t you?” he said, removing his hand.

You looked smugly at him. “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.”

“Alright,” he chuckled. “Don’t pretend you didn’t, either.”

You rolled your eyes. Then it was time for dinner and speeches. The food was delicious but the speeches went on forever. Once again, you found yourself resting your head on Gwilym’s shoulder and closing your eyes. When they were over, he nudged you gently awake. You shook out your shoulders and clapped as the last speaker left the stage.

The room was cleared and a jazz band took the stage so people could dance. You were surprised at how many couples were already on the floor as soon as the music started. In your experience, people were too nervous at first. But, you told yourself, the alcohol had already been flowing all night, so maybe everyone was already well in the mood. Gwilym stood up and offered you his hand.

“Would you like to dance?” he asked.

“Sure,” you replied, taking his hand and letting him lead you onto the floor.

He spun you into his arms and you swayed together to the tune. It was sweet, with the sax on the melody, which you loved.

“So, tell me more about this woman you’re in love with,” you said. “How come you didn’t ask her to come to this?”

“She’s not here,” he answered. “We’re sort of long distance at the moment.”

“What’s she like?” you wondered.

“How much time do you have?” he retorted.

“All night,” you said sweetly.

“Well, she’s smart,” he began.

“Smart?”

“Yeah. We discuss literature and philosophy and music. She’s really well-educated. I admire that about her.”

“Is she beautiful?”

“Naturally.”

You smiled. “‘Naturally’ as in her beauty comes naturally or ‘naturally’ as in ‘of course she’s beautiful’?”

“Both,” he replied.

“What else?” you continued.

“She’s been through a lot,” he said. “Sort of like you. And yet, she’s incredibly kind. Her experience didn’t make her hard. She has a very soft heart.”

“A soft heart,” you repeated, letting those words form carefully on your lips.

“Yes,” he said. “When we first started talking, she was defensive. But after a while, she became more open hearted and she told me things she had never told anyone.”

“Sounds like a great foundation,” you said. “I do hope she loves you too.”

“You and me both,” he chuckled. “What about your man?”

“Oh, he’s amazing,” you gushed. “Really, he’s one of the most understanding people in the world. And he really understands me. He’s gentle and sweet. A real Disney prince of a guy.”

He smiled, but it faltered.

“You know, Y/N, you can talk to me about things without making a joke to lighten it,” he said. “You don’t have to be defensive around me.”

It was like he’d pulled the pages out of your heart and read them to you. You wanted desperately to yank them back inside. To keep them to yourself. Locked away where only Dear Friend could access because he had never actually stood in front of you. Humor was your absolute defense mechanism. The wall that kept the rest of the world from your scars. Gwilym, faster and easier than Dear Friend, had blown a hole through it. You could not joke your way out of this.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m still getting used to easing tension.”

“I’m not saying you can’t joke around,” he returned. “You are funny. But you can tell me that you love someone without having to tease yourself or him so it’s not too serious. It is serious. And you’re allowed to feel it.”

The urge to make a snappy retort was overwhelming. The further he pushed behind your defenses the more uncomfortable you became.

“I love him so much,” you said earnestly. “He means the absolute world to me and I want to marry him and have his children and grow old together. He makes me soft.”

It felt clunky, but it was honest.

“Now that was a real moment,” he said, a gentle smile claiming his lips. “Well done.”

“Thank you,” you replied. “That felt...really good.”

“I’m glad you shared with me.”

You continued to dance and as the evening wore on, you found yourself even more comfortable with Gwilym. He took you back to your hotel when you were both too exhausted to carry on. It was even harder to say goodbye this time.

“Thank you for coming tonight,” he said.

“Thank you for a great evening,” you returned. “Really, I had a wonderful time. I’ve missed hanging out with you.”

“Me too,” he agreed. “Let’s do it again soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You embraced each other. You held him for a long time, grateful to have such a friend. He kissed the top of your head while you hugged and then you slowly broke apart.

“See you soon,” he said.

“Bye, Gwil.”

He left. You headed for the elevator and to the sixth floor, where your room was. You went down the hall, your heels making a dull thud against the carpet. When you came into your room, you found Stacy and Violet asleep on the bed, cuddling as Looney Tunes played on the TV. Smiling, you switched it off before slipping out of your dress and into your pajamas. After you washed your face and brushed your teeth, you joined your daughter and assistant. You felt whole.

The next week, while you eagerly waited for a letter from Dear Friend, you thought about Gwilym a lot. If you were being honest with yourself, you had to admit you had a bit of a crush on him. Spending this time together and becoming vulnerable with him really made you feel connected to him. But, you both were in love with other people. You were resolved to just not act on your crush. They were harmless, and once you met Dear Friend you wouldn’t have it anymore.

You sat in your hotel room in Chicago, going over some notes for your set, making small adjustments based on the reaction from the last crowd. Stacy came into your room with an envelope and you leapt from the bed.

“Thank goodness!” you cried. “This is so much harder to do on the road.”

You tore it open and began to read.

Dear Friend. Now that we are clear on our feelings for one another, I think it’s time we met! You asked where I am in the world, and I’m glad to report I’m finally in the United States. I’m carrying your love with me, darling. I know you’re in Los Angeles, and it’s a long way to go, but I’m going to be in Atlanta in two weeks. Is it possible for you to come and meet me?

You checked the date on the letter. It was from a week ago, when you were in Boston. That meant he would be in Atlanta a week from now, the same week you were going to be in Atlanta on your tour.

Dear Friend was going to be in the same city as you. At the same time. And he wanted to meet you. The color drained from your face.

“What is it?” Stacy asked.

“He wants to meet,” you said. “He’s going to be in Atlanta next week.”

Her eyes went wide.

“Oh, my,” she gasped. “What are you going to do?”

What were you going to do?

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nadiafm · 5 years

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( camila morrone, cisfemale ) hey ! have you seen NADIA PEREZ around ? they work as a ICE SKATING INSTRUCTOR at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 21 years old & they’ve been working here for 11 MONTHS. they tend to be +AMOROUS & +CONVIVIAL, but can also be -LICENTIOUS & -WARY. the other employees have labeled them THE ROMANTIC. thanks a lot ! gold hoops , floral mini dresses , pink lipgloss , overly dramatic eyeshadow , freckles specked across your nose , mascara running down your cheeks , tequila shots chased with salt and lime , lana del rey blasting in your headphones , mirror selfies , golden hour , glitter and rhinestones , blue raspberry dum dums , piled up books you keep forgetting to read.

hey y’all !! i’m so excited for this wow. i’m sam, i’m 22, and i live in pst !! i’m a sucker for cooking shows and dogs and candles. but more importantly...this is my freaking baby nadia, an absolute idiot with a heart of gold ! i already know this intro is going to be too long but bare with me i will include a tldr at the bottom i promise. also hmu on discord to plot ! capricornmom#1278

here is nadia’s pinterest & here is her playlist

aesthetics : gold hoops , floral mini dresses , pink lipgloss , overly dramatic eyeshadow , freckles specked across your nose , mascara running down your cheeks , tequila shots chased with salt and lime , lana del rey blasting in your headphones , mirror selfies , golden hour , glitter and rhinestones , blue raspberry dum dums , piled up books you keep forgetting to read

character parallels : jackie burkhart ( that 70′s show ) rachel green ( friends ) , cassie howard ( euphoria ) , brooke davis ( one tree hill ) , bianca stratford ( 10 things i hate about you ) , april ( palo alto ) , erica vandross ( flower ) , gigi & triple a ( booksmart ) , snooki ( jersey shore ) , jessica day ( new girl )

full name : nadia paloma perez

birthday : july 23, 1998

zodiac : cancer sun , pisces moon , pisces rising . god help this emotional ass girl

nationality : american

religion : roman catholic

sexual & romantic orientation : bisexual , biromantic

hometown : aventura , florida ( 20 minutes outside of miami )

languages spoken : english ( fluent ) , spanish ( fluent ) , french ( still learning , takes it in school , somewhat conversational )

likes : candy ( sour punch straws , lollipops ) , watching soccer games ( messi stan till she dies ) , rex orange county , writing , magazines , making empanadas with her abuela , romantic comedies ( her fav is how to lose a guy in 10 days ) , tequila sodas , sex , lana del rey , chipotle burritos , iced chai lattes with almond milk from starbucks , gossip girl , craft beer , margaret atwood

dislikes : quinoa , nuts in things like salad or cookies , star wars , watching golf , oatmeal , church , screamo music , california ( a grudge ) , spoiled rich kids , condescending business majors , quentin tarantino ( and his avid fans )

BACKGROUND

Born and raised in South Florida, a little aways from Miami ! Her mother, Paloma, was an Adventura native while her father, Santiago, was an immigrant from Argentina. Her parents met in college when Paloma was studying abroad in Argentina. They fell in love, rather quickly, and the rest was history. They had planned on moving back to America together, but Santiago’s visa was denied. So, after only four months of knowing each other and 2.5 months of dating, they got married.

Turns out sometimes you should know your partner better before getting married !! shocker right. It wasn’t so bad at first, though. They were young and in love and their honeymoon phase seemed to last forever, until it didn’t.

By the time Nadia was born, they’d already begun to realize each other’s faults and flaws. Santiago was a good looking guy, and with his thick Argentine accent, he tended to come off as overly friendly and at times overtly flirty. Paloma was jealous and needy. It never seemed to mesh well when she thought her husband was flirting with every other mom in the neighborhood.

So, for the majority of Nadia’s childhood, all she remembered from her parent’s marriage was them fighting. She had a close relationship with the both of them, though, and she was particularly close with her father. He was her biggest supporter !! Always hyping her up. He was the one signing her up for sports like soccer (they’re a huge soccer family, the only time her parents weren’t fighting was during Argentina games), gymnastics, dance, and ice skating. Her favorite was soccer, and her for most of her adolescent years, her dad coached her team. They formed a really close bond because of it.

The marriage was sort of non exinsistant at this point, but in some sort of last attempt to salvage any love they might have had for each other, Santiago and Paloma had a baby. It was more Paloma’s idea than anything. Santiago, at that point, was only sticking around for Paloma. She was seven when her little sister was born, Caterina, and Nadia absolutely adored her. They may have been seven years a part, but they were the best of friends.

When Nadia was twelve, she woke up with a note on her bed side table. It was from her father, and it read: “Nads, I’m so sorry I couldn’t say goodbye to your face. I wish I was stronger. I am so proud of you and I promise I will be in touch. Te amo. Papa” He hadn’t left anybody else a note, and not even a word to her mother. As close as she was to her mother and sister, she couldn’t help but blame them for her father leaving. Still, she was pretty certain she’d hear from him soon. That he’d come back once he cleared his head. Only, he didn’t.

Word spread pretty fast around school about what had happened. Suddenly, Nadia was a charity case. PTA moms were coming up to her and offering to bring her lunch or dinner, if she needed it. She was the girl who’s dad left them high and dry. It didn’t help that on top of that, her body was going through changes much more rapidly than any of her friends. She already had gotten her period, and by the time she was in seventh grade she was wearing a D cup bra. So in addition to the sudden spotlight as the girl without a dad, boys started treating her differently. Boys that had never talked to her previously suddenly wanted to be her friend. In eighth grade, Hayden Walker rolled up a small piece of paper and shot it like a basketball into her cleavage. He high-fived his friends after and thanked her for the backboard.

So middle school was rough. And while Nadia had had one or two boyfriends during that time, she’d never gone past kissing them. That’s not how the rumors went, though. That was the part that hurt the most. The things people said, especially the things girls said about her. Girls she thought were her friends.

At the end of eighth grade, during the summer before high school, she got a text from her dad. The first one in 2 years! She’d idolized him her whole life, so obviously she was ready to forgive him as soon as she heard from him. He told her he was living in California and Nadia was like, I’m sold! Let’s go! Only her mother was like...are you fucking insane you are not going to California to visit that man. Long story short, she found a cheap cross country bus ticket and essentially ran away from home to see her dad! He was shocked she had come at all, despite his text message leading her to believe he wanted to see her. Apparently it was more of a courtesy text, a text so he could let go of the guilt of leaving an entire family behind. Because in the two years he’d been gone, he managed to start a new one. He had a new wife, and two newborn twins.

Nadia was pretty furious, but she stayed the summer anyways. She had full intentions of starting high school in California and not going home to Florida. Things were tense at her father’s, though. Her “step mother” obviously didn’t like having her around, and though her bond with her father was slowly rekindling, there was still a sort of distance between them. But they were trying to make it work, at the very least.

Then came the end of the summer. Nadia had made a few friends around the neighborhood, and was invited to an end of summer kickback with a bunch of high schoolers. Naturally, she lied about her age at the party. She was 14, but told everyone she was 16, and everyone seemed to overlook her baby face thanks to her ass and tits. At the end of the night, a boy drove her home, and the two ended up hooking up in the car. Apparently she had misjudged how much her father actually cared, because he’d waited up for her to come home, and after seeing car headlights out front, he’d stormed outside to find her in the car with a high school boy, half naked. After allowing her to gather her bearings, he essentially humiliated her right there on the front lawn, screaming about how irresponsible she was amongst other things. The majority of the conversation has since been blacked out from her mind, but she’ll never forget the look on her dad’s face when he said, “you’re nothing, you’re just like your mother, and i don’t want you anywhere near my family.” whew !! ya girl was hurt.

So, obviously, she was back on the way to mom’s ! Honestly at that point her mom wasn’t even mad at her for leaving she was just thankful she was back.

GODDD okay this is getting long so I need to wrap this up. I haven’t even gotten to personality KJSHG Okay let’s wrap up high school in one bullet point. Basically she sub consciously searched for every man’s approval because she lacked the approval she needed from her father! This meant lots of boyfriends and never saying no. In her four years of high school, she was maybe single for a total of like ... seven months. not seven consecutive months lmao, 7 months in between relationships.

one of those boys was connor perch, her first official boyfriend freshman year ! they were really sweet n young and nadia really thought she was in love. but then she gave him a blowjob and this mf recorded it ! and nadia found out after the fact, asked him to delete it, he said it was just for himself to look at, only to find out he’d sent it to his friends a few days later. so that basically set the precedent for how she’d be treated the next four years of high school ! she tried to act like it didn’t bother her but dang. high schoolers can be very mean !

oh my god i seriously have to wrap up okay this will be quick. basically when she was a senior in high school she went on a ski trip to big bear and met a boy named ethan, who she like fell in love with so fast like literally a week give it a rest girl. he was from Colorado but when she left they kept in touch and basically talked every day for the rest of the school year and throughout the summer. She’d decided to apply to Boulder University to be closer to him because this time it really felt like the real thing ! SURPRISE AGAIN ! She got to school and found out he had a girlfriend. She was really mf heartbroken over that. But did she learn her lesson? No. Does she still fall in love with anyone who looks in her direction? Yes.

Okay and lastly she has been working all sorts of jobs throughout college because her mom is helping her pay for tuition and rent so she’s gotta cover spending money ! She ended up getting a job at Big Bear Resort during her last winter break as an ice skating instructor because she used to do ice skating back in the day. Now she works at Big Bear during her school breaks and on some weekends !

TLDR/Tidbits

Hopeless romantic with major daddy issues

Will overanalyze every interaction she has with anyone because she thinks they might like her

EXTREMELY GULLIBLE

Probably will have a crush if you are even remotely nice to her

Really dumb but means well. Literally no common sense. Complete bimbo

Cries A LOT. Complete crybaby. Happy or sad she’s probably crying

Heart of gold!! She really always means well even when she fucks up so bad I SWEAR her heart was in the right place

Can outdrink anyone. She would drink a 6ft5in, 200 pound man under the table any day

Tequila is her choice of drink, but vodka is for her #sadgirlhours

Obsessed with Rosalía, Lana Del Rey, & Rex Orange County. And also 2010 bangers. Anything she can shake her ass to !

She pretty much used to exclusively wear mini dresses because when she realized everyone was just gonna sexualize her anyway, she was like FUCK IT, i’ll show my ass n titties n legs. Except it’s fucking like negative degrees in Colorado so she can’t do that ! Bummer. (she’ll still probably find ways to wear mini dresses)

Obsessed with makeup!! She loves doing adventurous things with eyeshadows and lipsticks like ok euphoria

Kinda crazy. Major crackhead vibes especially when she’s drunk! She loves going out, she’ll go out on a Tuesday, she just likes to have fun ok and dance on tables and make out with cute people

She’ll have a one night stand but just know for HER she’ll probably get attached. I’m so sorry it won’t last that long but she’ll pine for at least a week

ok that is all i’m so sorry for this shit show of an intro but here is a messy list of wc !

#bigbearintro #literally so pointlessly long but

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