#Bc even if he is a good guy I can't let myself be so attached to someone anymore...yk

[vadergf]

.

[shaanks]

>.>

Shanks and/or Kid.

Quin my lovely friend! :"D Thank you so much! Let's do both~ :3c

Shanks

How I feel about this character:

I genuinely love him, like. I think he's fascinating from a narrative standpoint, the place that he has to stand kind of straddling the gulf between the old era that birthed him and the new era he's been charged with stewarding in, like. He's tragic in my mind, because from a character standpoint he has everything - looks, intelligence, potential, power, influence - and yet he either loses or has to let go of everything he really loves, and wants to keep around.

I love that he plays really loosey goosey like his job is Beach and he's a silly funny guy, but can get awfully serious at the drop of a hat, I love the way he carries himself and the very careful vocal cadence he holds onto. Fascinating 2 me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Oh goodness, you see the problem with hims I feel him to be THE king slut of all time, so I can be persuaded about like. a TON of pairings for him lmfao. The ones I usually default to are the same ones everyone does, Buggy and Mihawk, altho due to the way Shanks is and the advent of the Cross Guild I've had some funny forays into Shanks trying to seduce Crocodile lmfao. (and like. Me. lmfao <3)

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Luffy, Benn, Ace, the whole RHP crew tbh. It's odd bc I usually subscribe to the "all vice captains are insane about their captains" thing but I just haven't ever gotten that with Shanks and Benn lmfao.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Weirdly, it seems to be an unpopular opinion that he's a good guy, so probably that? I can't think of anything else I think about him that's especially against the grain.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I just want him to live through this lmfao. There are several people in this that I love and am very worried about it, and he's one of them. I'd love for him to be able to reconcile with Buggy too, because so much of what's kept them apart for the last two decades has been misunderstanding of a difficult situation that happened when they were teenagers during a really traumatic event. I know that's not usually how things work in this story, but ya know.

**

Alrighty :"D Round 2

Kid

How I feel about this character:

I find him endlessly endlessly endearing to be perfectly honest. Setting aside the fact that I'm so attracted to him it regularly makes me act very silly, like. He's so smart! He's loyal to a fault! His crew adores him, he sticks to his convictions (for better or worse), he will tell you what's on his mind and deal with you honestly, and expects that of the people around him. Even when he acts all gruff about it, you can tell when someone has earned his respect.

He takes responsibility for the people in his care, he's incredibly brave and charismatic, and goddamn does he ever commit to his aesthetic, and the bit. I love him is the tl;dr. It's so funny bc I made it like 5 jokes into dunking on him about Law in Sabaody before I realized I'd backed myself into a corner about him bc like. Personally imo 2 me, if you think about him with any kind of seriousness, I think it's hard not to love him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Oh man. Killer obv top spot, but I've also gotten really attached to the big Kid Pirates Polycule bc of your thoughts on that subject. I like the KidLawLu polycule too, altho that's more for fun play in my mind. Fascinatingly I think he'd have gotten on like gangbusters with Ace, though I'm as inclined to make that platonic as romantic lmfao, either way. (Also, again...me. I love him lmfao.)

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

In a more serious way probably this is where Kid and Law and Luffy fall in my mind. I love their dynamic and how goofy they all fucking act about it lmfao.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

That he's really fucking smart. He's an excellent tactician when he wants to be, he's a mechanical engineer, like. Those prosthetics aren't just a bunch of junk mashed together that he's forcing to move, they have artificial articulating musculature, they have functional hydraulics, they WORK. Hell, Damned Punk is a plasma canon that you can SEE has actual refined mechanical pieces to it that he's able to pull together without even looking.

Also not for nothing but figuring out magnetic polarity and then getting that shit to behave itself in reasonable ways so that you can use it reliably in battle requires intelligence and serious skill.

His wisdom stat is a lil low but my boy's fucking brilliant.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I get it. I GET why Oda [redacted current arc spoilers] for both him and Law. All I'm saying is he better fucking live through it. Him and his crew. I wanna see them again. :(

**

Alrighty!!! This was wonderful friend ; u ; Thank you for askin about my boys, I love any chance I can get to ramble about em. <3

if anyone else wants to play, give me a character and I'll break their ass down!

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (23)

the last part ☹️

chapter 69 (lol)

wait guys i lowkey forgot what happened it’s been so long

why is albus so sassy

"Gellert was my soul," Albus replies. "The only thing he wasn't was my little sister and my little brother. That is why he's dead and I'm here now, without him, and you still wish to punish me. You can't punish me more than I already punished myself the night I plunged a sword into his heart."

why is this dumbledore brothers angst so angsty 

ALBUS CALLING ABERFORTH ABBY 😭😭

“James and I are going to have four children." 

love sirius

ugh i forgot monty died ☹️

boooo albus

THE GASP I GUSPED

crimson river

yeah albus deserved that

it fully has been over a month since ive read this all of the thoughts from above are from the beginning of may

ok i think i found the part where i left off

“Sirius shakes his head and says, gently, "You. It was you, Reggie. You taught me that."“ ❤️‍🩹

ugh aberforth pov

i mean yeah i feel bad for him but

the end notes are always my fav part

chapter 70

wait i forgot to write down my thoughts

regulus’ note to james ☹️

monty ☹️

bye sobbing how is it that the games were the least emotionally heavy part of this entire fic

“”My moon is right here," Sirius counters, pressing closer to him, something gentle and adoring in his gaze.”

marylily save me marylily

marlene ☹️ never forgiving zar for that

poor james ☹️

frank ☹️

vanity ☹️

trying so hard not to cry rn

i love effie so much

“It's in his mum's arms, in this very moment, that he feels his dad again.” sobbing

why is sirius breaking up with james

oh okay

sirius is going back to 12 with remus

sirius is a good friend i think

james is a good friend too i think

james and regulus are kissing

it’s been two months ?!

chapter 71

effie ☹️

taking a break i can’t do this

ok we’re back it’s been several hours

i love effie so much she deserves everything

“My parents moved out, back to my childhood home when I was eighteen, when I started mentoring. I was gone during parts of the year, and they—ah, well, they were never really fond of…the neighbors."

Regulus pauses, then his lips twitch. "Those dastardly Blacks, I'm assuming."”

i love regulus

“Because Lily and Remus are not-so-secretly as attached to each other as Sirius and James are, Remus also calls Lily every day.” i love remus and lily

marlene ☹️

i love lyall in this

who is this ken fool

puppies!!!

"Very low bar. I could trip over you," sirius you menace 😭

“Lyall is wheezing.” me too lyall me too

oh me oh my

sirius just picking remus up

chat i have to pee so bad like i’m actually gonna pee my pants but my dog is sitting on me so i don’t want to get up bc she’s so cozy

i love mary so much

james going to be a teacher (of fun) i love him

BINGLEY IS A TEENAGER?? I THOUGHT HE WAS LIKE 8??

bagels ❤️‍🩹

james telling regulus about his fear of fire good job james

the song ❤️‍🩹

SHEHWJEGTW

james just asked regulus to marry him

they’re getting married!!!!!!!

chapter 72

dorcas pov ?! ok eat

oh !

poor dorcas ☹️ ugh i feel so bad for her

she so right where you left me

took another break now im back

“Marlene wasn't the first; she wasn't even the last. That honor goes to Albus.” ugh i hate albus

oh molly i love her

this chapter

poppy and minnie ?! 

"No," Regulus agrees with a shrug, "but I hoped."

“She wants to live, and she wants to love, but in this aspect—romance—she feels quite content with being finished. Marlene was the love of her life, and that's it. Simple as that. She'll never love another.” SOBBING

i’m actually trying so hard not to cry

chapter 73

this one is called the wedding please let it be a happy chapter

low bar hilarious

wait i forgot to write my thoughts

remus and sirius are moving back to 6 and i love them 

jegulus i love them

sirius came back and james cried (he’s just like me fr)

james favorite thing at school being gardening with the kids ❤️‍🩹

james and regulus fighting over sirius is hilarious

baby

remus is not having this

non binary tonks i love them so much

i love narcissa

aberforth pov jump scare

reading this chapter is making me want to have a wedding

“but he and James are too busy riding the train in their locked compartment where they take the time to, ah, christen every single stop along the way” 😭😭

james in a suit dress save me james in a suit dress

“"Don't rush me!" Sirius retorts from inside, his voice muffled, but his excitement palpable. "James, entertain him, will you?"” this whole bit is hilarious

a bookshelf ❤️‍🩹

bye i’m crying that’s so sweet

“That other life is this one. This life is that one. All their lives have even a split second of joy, and hope, and effort. It doesn't matter what life it is; James knows that, in every single one, they have so much love to give, and so much love granted to them. Even if for only a moment, and that one moment can make any life worth living. Despite all the grief. Despite all the pain. Despite all the loss. Because there's love. Because there's a bookshelf. They do get it. They have it. They make it, and people who love them help make it, too.” 

"You're so stupid," Regulus says. 

"Yes, but I'm your stupid," James tells him, grinning. 

oh james and his knife kink

eugh this is giving me the ick

wedding time

aw james ☹️

“and no one knows this except them, but before the wedding started, Sirius gently fixed Regulus' tie and whispered to him that if, at any point, he wanted to stop or run away, Sirius would make a scene for him if that's what it came to.” i love sirius 

regulus is remembering things

“you’re hesitating love”

bye im going to cry

ugh i loved this chapter so much ❤️‍🩹

chapter 74

SIRIUS 😭 im so embarrassed for him poor sirius

“Apparently the stars have demands of me. Or just one, at least."

stop i imagined sirius crawling like what’s the name of the girl in the ring but like how when she crawls out of the tv 

sirius accidentally proposing to remus and then purposefully proposing to remus with a spoon because he doesn’t have a ring i love him

sirius is so unserious 

LILY IS GOING TO PROPOSE TO MARY AHHHHH

i love trans mary she’s my everything 

alice ?!

rip alice and emmaline

james invited alice to the wedding omg

frank ☹️

alice putting the casserole in the oven for james i love them

sirius dissociating in the middle of his wedding

wolfstar married wolfstar

i always get jump scared when i see xenophilius in fics

pandora xenophilus and rodolphus okay

wolfstar fostering a child

regulus babysitting

bagels

regulus stealing sirius’ children

harry!!!!

jegulus babies

TEDDY

i just finished this chapter and it’s 1 am so k need to stop and o will read the last one tomorrow. or later today technically.

chapter 75

last one guys 

wait i totally have not been writing my thoughts

vanity 💔

the hat

evan 💔

"There are a lot more views waiting for you, so go see them. You don't need me to climb," Evan murmurs. "You never did."

sobbing

that was so

ugh i love bizzarestars

[ambreiiigns]

Me again sorry hello, what do you think is gonna happen next if you have any idea? or anything you want to happen? i hope our doubleblack yaoi boys stay thriving

you again omg hiii 🥰🥰 i have. been like. tossing this over in my head all day. very inchresting

so like for sure. i hope at least. we get to see what happens during the 2 hours timeskip and hopefully how it ends. bc i have No Clue at all 0 thoughts 0 ideas abt any of that. but i hope they'll sell me more of akutagawa and atsushi as shin soukoku. like maybe it's just that i have an insane attachment to the originals but i do feel like the show has been a coward abt investing in the kids ? like. i'm not buying it. they don't compare. but the anime will give me three episodes abt 15 dazai & chuuya WHICH I WILL NEVER COMPLAIN ABT IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS but idk like three episodes for them in a season that is so weirdly paced feels like the easy way out in a way ??? like people enjoy those two so you'll give me a lot of those two when you should focus on building the actual main characters to the same level of those two. does this mean anything. i'm under the impression that the manga does a better job w akutagawa and atsushi but alas i will not be reading that so i can only complain. the last time i sort of cared abt akutagawa and atsushi has been back in s2 finale and i would. like more. come on.

but at the same time i also hope they keep focusing on more characters instead of atsushi ANFNSKFKKDG I'M SO SORRY HE'S JUST A BAD MAIN CHARACTER TO ME. I CAN'T MAKE MYSELF CARE ABT HIM me & brother say that bsd peaks when ranpo's the main character and IT'S TRUEEEEEEE LET RANPO TAKE OVER I DON'T EVEN CARE i wanna see more of. anyone else. if we did a 180 and made akutagawa the main character instead i would Not mind at all.

besides all this the like big question and interesting thought abt what happens next is who will be picked by mori to join the port mafia out of the detectives. we know yosano is out of the picture he is not allowed to choose yosano which is So Funny that fukuzawa would only protect her but ?? not his son ranpo ?? not dazai and/or kyouka who have also been under mori's wing ?? it's funny. i'm really interested abt that tho. bc if like mori picks atsushi i kinda hope not it's a bit sort of obvious if the protag gets picked but it could be interesting maybe it'll make him interesting And he gets to soukoku all over the place. And we get fun new interactions like when atsushi and chuuya interact in wan or whatever it's very fun. wan is the silly spin off that i don't super care about except when i do.

but also ranpo ? in a way heart and soul of the detective agency it would be FUNNY if mori was like i wont that. and i KNOW ranpo would be funny in there he's already been working 24/7 with a former criminal enemy Edgar Allan Poe his boyfriend i wanna see what he does in the mafia. does he bring poe w him. would he have beef w chuuya after the s3 book incident. (chuuya's the strongest little guy so remember the cannibalism arc. ranpo locked himself and chuuya in a book to keep chuuya out of business. the book being poe's ability where he can trap you in the books he writes and ranpo's been using poe's ability like it's his own fnsjkfowf) i'm intrigued.

but THEN. what if dazai. that would kill me a little bit. and it'd be interesting. i'm not going to Lie i would Love it if i got double black permanent reunion but ALSO. it Would be. a little excellent if dazai gets pulled back in the mafia and was like... forced to relapse to some extent after trying to flip himself out for oda and then he's forced right back when he started? yk how his bestie oda died and that was the kick dazai needed to get out of the mafia and be a good person. if he goes back would it all be undone. he can either prove he REALLY changed or he's still the same shitty little guy no matter his efforts. would he spiral LMAO. it would slay. but i would also be really sad for him and i don't know if they'd go there

or someone like tanizaki who's a bit irrelevant he's just a little guy it could be an excuse to develop him more ig kenji and kunikida aren't really sparking anything in me and i don't think koyo would allow mori to pick kyouka fjejfjskf man i REALLY HOPE IT'S NOT KYOUKA IT WOULD MAKE ME SO SAD but the possibilities are cool and fun and interesting and i really wanna see That. power move is if mori says he wants fukuzawa and the detective agency is orphanized

and then in general once the 2 hours situation is fixed the only thing that makes sense is follow thru on what the Fans have picked up w the teasing european authors as new characters i think it's our only option. i think we have no other choices and i am ready to see it. they've been talking a lot abt some british girlies and we feel like that might be the next step.

(( in that same vein sort of i hope we Do in fact get stormbringer MOVIE QUESTION MARK !??!?!?! stormbringer being the light novel set when chuuya's 16 in which he finds out more of his insane backstory. there is either rumors or wishful thinking abt stormbringer movy. i would like it as a movy i am TIRED of wasting episodes on flashbacks i want MOVY it feels too long and too much happening to be adapted in episodes AND if it's a movy it can be its own separate thing that the more casual viewer can skip if they so wish. i don't love a movy that's mandatory viewing tbh if i signed up for episodic stuff yk ?? stormbringer is kinda not central to the story you Can do without stormbringer so it'd make sense to be movy. and i find it so fascinating even tho i know so little and maybe i'll read it but it sure would Slay if we got movy there's some bits i really wanna see animated ))

so SO if we get europeans it make sense to make stormbringer there's french people and frankenstein in there yk ????? i'm ready. i wanna see the europeans it'd be fun. and we ran out of other things we got the americans and some russians they need to keep it rolling. i made a joke that they'd introduce italian authors as a second more powerful mafia lead by dante alighieri i can give bsd the copyrights to that

i guess sigma sticks around and maybe he tells us something abt fyodor i'm fucking tired of fyodor the least he can do is tell me his business. and i kinda maybe would like more worldbuilding ? it might be too late in s6 but like. brother said this and i've been thinking. what's up w abilities is there an Origin is there a reason why some people have them and some people don't is there other mythology that is based on abilities like bram and vampires what about the war. there's a cool post explaining why the war works as like a backdrop we don't really get more of and i'm INTO that but maybe something else could come out of it ? do we get to learn more abt other Mysterious Characters. what about the cat man. what even is elise as mori's ability etc. brother also said he'd like to see more 1v1 between characters and see how abilities work w each other ? or other sort of. fusions like shin skk does and i agree ! wanna see how abilities interact. and i am going to Say This i am ready for more chuuya in the main show i am ready for chuuya to be in every episode thank you. i think it's time i think we can handle him now. thank you :)

[urdearestmom]

alright y'all I've recovered enough from vol 2 that I can now articulate my thoughts somewhat. here we go! I really want season 5 immediately but unfortunately cannot have that :( I will say that I think Stranger Things' episode Nines are just,,,, amazing. nothing so far has come close to my love for s2e9 except for s4e9. I think they're tied

ngl I was mildly concerned they were going to attempt some kind of redemption with Brenner so I was pleasantly excited when he continued to be as evil as he ever was :) El finally standing up to him and realizing she's not the monster, he is, was AMAZING and I loved how she just said bye and walked away. left him to die on his own as he deserved! Owens is still a shady guy but he's always on the gang's side (I'm just curious what happened to him? like did Sullivan have him killed? arrested? will we see him next season? I'm nearly certain we'll see Sullivan again because I don't think that subplot will be so easily resolved)

as for the rest of it, Eddie's death panned out pretty much exactly how I thought it would so I never let myself get too attached to him. what got me was Dustin's reaction! Gaten did so amazingly in that scene wow. Jason also died which was great for me because he was just insane at that point and while I kinda felt for him he was also annoying. sorry not sorry

Jopper finally getting together was lovely. I've never been overly invested in them bc they are so canon in my mind that I never doubted it would happen but it was great nonetheless. Hopper reuniting with El had me smiling so hard at the end bc for a sec I genuinely thought it was Sullivan coming to kidnap El and that was how the season would end and then it was just good ol' Hop :) El having a family like she deserves is my favourite thing!! Hopper and Mike also hugging caught me off guard bc I didn't think they'd do it but they did and I hope that leads to them having a better relationship!

now El getting picked up in the desert and blowing up that helicopter? TOP. TIER. I had my arms up cheering "HERE COME THE PIZZA BOYS!!!!!!!" and when you could see Mike getting out of the van being the first one to run to her, all in slow motion, my god. I was speechless. their whole reunion was gorgeous. El's disbelief, the forehead touch: chefs kiss. El hugging Will like that? best. I live for El having a family. El's brothers ftw

Mike's long-awaited monologue: WHAT. I was shaking and on the edge of my seat the whole scene. It will absolutely live in my head rent free for the rest of all time. I can barely even process it. He really said he's loved her since the moment he saw her I can't believe it. It's what I've been waiting for since I was 16 years old and it still feels surreal that he really told her all of that in words. Mike Wheeler, King of Not Talking About Any Of His Feelings Ever, really said all of that. Wow. Finn knocked that completely out of the park

Lastly, Max's death? HOLY SHIT. That one tore me up I was sobbing and yelling at my tv. I really love Max and didn't want her to die even though I had a feeling something else was still going to happen to her. THE FACT THAT THEY USED THE SONG FROM FINDING WILL'S BODY IN S1- JAIL FOR 1000 YEARS. Her dying in Lucas' arms and his reaction really got me. Both Caleb and Sadie did phenomenal work this season and made me love Lumax a lot more than I did before. Lumax OUTSOLD!!!! Max's little drawing and the fact that they won't get to go on their date and the way Lucas was sitting in the hospital with his beat up face reading her a book... I'm in shambles

El being there watching it happen while no one knew she was there was also heartbreaking

Mildly concerning that El couldn't find Max's mind in the void though, even if she is in a coma. El can find and even vaguely communicate with Terry who is in a vegetative state, so I'm not sure what I think will happen with Max next season. Guess we'll have to wait and see!

That ending too. Vecna's not dead obviously and Hawkins is... yikes. The cliffhanger makes it seem like season 5 will pick up where 4 leaves off and I am very excited to have a resolution!

This isn't even all I could say but I don't want this post to get super long so I'm just touching on the stuff that stuck with me

[fonulyn]

So I'm reading this sad Chreon story - as one does (it's me, I'm one) - and I just had the weirdest epiphany? Like, I dunno, it's probably dumb and far from a hot take or some eye opening character analysis no one has done before but I noticed that people (including myself, so like not saying this in any kind of bad way) tend to write Leon as stand offish, apathetic, and cold. Like this story stated it specifically, said something along the lines of "this is what Leon gets for cultivating a reputation for being unapproachable, apathetic, and indifferent" and the insinuation there is that he's done this on purpose, put on this front to seem unaffected by things when in the presence of others, and I think it's pretty true for his character. Like anything post RE2, Leon is kind of. I dunno, I wanna say deadpan? He seems to express v little emotion, and when he does it's usually in the form of a quip, one-liner, or snarky come back. Sometimes awkward small talk lol. But it feels like he's built this wall, this persona around himself, not just to protect himself from losing more people (bc he probably sees it as some kind of inevitability, and with his track record I certainly wouldn't blame him), but to protect people from him. This poor man has spent so long fighting, trying to save people, and even tho he saves the day in the end, so many people get lost in the process, and Leon feels every single loss personally. Right off the bat we see it every time someone dies in RE2, then again in RE4 with Luis, who he knew for a short period of time and yet mourned so heavily for, and even Krauser to an extent. Leon is someone who is quick to trust, even as he gets older, and we see that in RE Vendetta, too. Like that's probably one of the big reasons he's so devastated after losing his team. Not only was he entrusted with a group (which doesn't happen often, as far as we have seen), but he probably put his trust in them as well, including Petrucio, the man who betrayed them. I just think Leon is such a complex character who hides so much of himself (which is convenient for bad writers at Capcom who can't write good dialogue to save their lives lmao, but I also think it's a decent part of his character now), probably so what happened in RE2 doesn't happen again. Bc that shit was probably so traumatizing, and Leon was still a baby! I'm only a year older then he was at the time of RE2 but like, as humans our brains don't finish growing until age 25, so that kind of trauma at that age is for sure gonna stick with you, and it seems he picked up some unhealthy coping mechanisms from it that's more than just his drinking problem. Anyways I guess I just wanted to rant about how Leon is the most "emotionless" character in RE but in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe. He's such a tragic character and I love him so goddamn much, like he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way. Selfless, capable, dependable, reliable, smart, passionate, caring. And some of this might be my own character building I've done based off of other headcanons and character analysis posts and stories I've seen, but I do think we see a lot of this in the canon content, too. I just really love Leon S Kennedy, okay? He makes me sad but also so so happy and I love him v much, he is a big time comfort character for me. Sorry for the rant, just needed to scream about this with someone who would understand lol 😅

oh anon, I get you, I dooo. I think that you're right in that Leon has kind of this shell around himself because it's the only way he can cope. but there are so many cracks in his shell, and he lets people in so readily even when it would stand to reason that he shouldn't trust anyone anymore. he gets attached to people lightning fast, and he'd die for them even when he's barely met them.

this borders on headcanon territory, definitely, but I tend to often write him as someone who gets attached easily and falls for people easily (be it friendship or romantic or anything), but then he doesn't know how to properly let people in because he's got his defense mechanisms, he's trying to keep himself from breaking, and what if he truly lets someone past those walls and then another disaster strikes and he never recovers from it?

and I think it shows a lot in how he's so awkward with small talk, he can throw in one-liners and dad jokes and try to keep his own (and anyone else's) spirits up with that. but oh man. beyond that? the boy doesn't know how to naturally talk to people. (even like in Infinite Darkness, with Claire, I think his "don't do anything stupid" was 100% meant to be a joke, both times, but it just didn't exactly land perfectly. poor awkward bby)

but like even though he might put up this unaffected front, he's still so very expressive? like... if you really pay attention to him? he's far from actually an expressionless and cold person. he just isn't very loud about it. (i was just going through ID screencaps yesterday and while Shen May is talking and Leon is on the background, he goes through such a journey in expressions alone :'D)

AND HE CARES. like, for example in Infinite Darkness, he sees Patrick is shaken and the first possible moment he has, he immediately asks him if he's okay and takes a moment to reassure him. they're in a hurry, he's supposed to get going and not check up on a guy he's never even met before, but he does it anyway. and I think it speaks a lot of his character. he's quick to offer support and comfort, and he genuinely tries to be there for others the best he can. he desperately needs someone to listen to him in turn, seriously. give him emotional support, damnit.

and I wanna highlight what you said:

in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe.

because yes. 100%. also this:

he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way.

like. yes. there was this one meme thing going around which was basically like asking if you feel like you're like your favorite character and I'm just. I fucking wish I was one tenth of what he is :'D

I know not even he is perfect, c'mon, no such thing as perfect people exist (not even in fiction, or if they do then they'd be really damn boring :'D). i'm not trying to claim he has no flaws, or that he never does anything wrong. he has and he does. but the amount of genuine caring he shows and how hard he tries to do the right thing? truly awe inspiring.

i just. I'm right there with you. I love him so damn much. and that's why I spend most of my time writing fic where he gets at least some of that happiness he deserves :'D i need him taken care of, damnit, and if canon doesn't give him good things then i damn sure will.

[piracytheorist]

*dramatic gasp* how dARE you forget! lmao it's ok ♥

loving those gifs and animations! dude, the -d e t a i l s- on his hands! and the beauty mark below the eye! and Rosie has it too ;_; you know, I really appreciate that Ethan is not manly man square jawed bearded broad shouldered bulky man (not that they can't look like that, but re has a lot of those bc they're all military), but has softer features (and long eyelashes, have you seen those? i'm jelly) like he really reflects the 'I'm an everyday guy working with computers pls let me go pay my taxes'. also also it REALLY looks like those steps are his last, the trembling on his knees showing the pained effort he's putting into getting one foot in front of the other trying not to lose his balance ahh (whump heart is content)

Love how I answered the previous one and then I had to go off to work! I have a little time now, so I'm getting to this one before I forget again 🤣

There's so much detail, and some of it I didn't even show! Like if you go super close to his hoodie, you actually see the freaking knitting pattern! Same with the (barely even visible under normal circumstances) t-shirt he wears inside the hoodie! I'll have to take a screenshot from that as well, because I am just amazed with the amount of effort they put into it.

And yeah, I think his face reflects his entire existence in the game, it doesn't have to be rough and tough and badass... He's a normal dude without something particularly special about him... And honestly that makes him more relatable, easier to attach to, and way less intimidating than other protagonists. With many other games, most of the time I'm like "Oh Big Protagonist Time" and I can't really feel like I'm going through this with them. Badass protagonists work as characters in the way of like, a fantasy, where we imagine ourselves being as badass and awesome as they are. I know the game developers have said that we're supposed to step into Ethan's shoes, but for me it's way more of being next to him in all of this. It's not "imagining myself as this badass character" it's "I am experiencing this and this random dude with guns is by my side". Probably because Ethan, being a normal dude who didn't ask for this, I feel that he'd need a companion for at least emotional support. Well, I'd be that for him 😆

And yeah his face just... Looks so everyday-like, as you said, I can imagine him as he is going off to pay his taxes, not slaughter an entire village full of bioweapons. And I find that fantastic. They've done an amazing job with Ethan.

Those lashes... I was about to comment of them. I'm so jealous of them too. So pretty 😍

This animation is definitely from his last moments. I think it's when he's crossing the bridge back to the Megamycete, right before we see from his pov again. There's that tiny moment of staggering, where he quickly puts his right foot in front because he looks ready to fall, and I feel like his entire body reacts to it. Like, that instinctive reaction where your hands jerk in front of you, to protect your body and soften the fall in case you drop? But his hands in that moment... one has almost completely crumbled to dust, the other has only three fingers and is even holding the detonator. It feels like his arms are going for the movement to soften his fall, but his hands are not in the position to do so so his legs have to do the job... Ohhh it's so fucking GOOD and I'm SO FREAKING HAPPY we get the chance to actually see this! Whump need satisfied indeed!!

[potatotrash0]

Oh? You've been into Childhood alternative universes lately?*slides Mastermind Nagito file back and pulls seperate piece of paper out* Let's work with that. *sits in the worn down swivel chair that I imagine myself keeping in this hellscape of a fictional office* Now :).

Hinata and Nagito first met when they were six. Nagito was still sick at this time, so his parents were taking him to a doctor in a different country in hopes of being able to treat him. Nagito was sitting on a street corner waiting as some of the servants packed up the car for their plane trip, when he notices a little boy with the greenest eyes and the oddest cowlick crying on the other side of the street. When he goes up to the child to ask what's wrong, he sees the big scrape on his knee, and the busted skateboard lying next to him. Nagito offers a hand to him. "Komaeda Nagito. Need some help?" He says with a smile that wasn't yet tainted with anxiety and despair. The kid crying grabs the hand, still bursting at the seams with his tears, and manages to say "H-hinata Hajime." in a shaky voice. When Hajime's taken inside for a glass of water and bandages, and is able to talk in a less shaky voice, they make a fond promise to hang out when Nagito gets back.

When Nagito gets back from the "trip", Hajime is in absolute shock. This sweet kid who helped him without hesitation had to deal with all this... terrible luck. Hajime does his best to look up ways to feel better, gets a bucket of a water and a handful of chocolates ( drinking water can help stop crying and chocolate can give ranged waves of dopamine [if I remember right]- Hajime doesn't know what dopamine means but it was on a site to help sadness and shit and he's just doin his best), and heads to Nagito's house. He's allowed in, and when he eventually finds Nagito curled up in the corner of his room, he stupidly drops the bucket and chocolates in front of him with a grin. Nagito responds by crawling over to him and crying on his shoulder for seemingly hours, and Hajime lets him.

Nagito was glad he had someone who wouldn't judge him for his "good luck" now.

( afterwards, Nagito says that it was alright, that he heard the servants talking about how it was good luck, since he inherited a large estate, and Hajime says he heard his parents say the same thing, and they both agree that it must have been good luck, since everyone else said so, despite the countless bruises and tears that it caused. Neither of them realize that their views on luck were permanently obscured since then.)

They grow closer after that, and don't seperate once, not as they grow older, not as life beats Nagito inwards which each traumatic event and curls into his beliefs of hope, despair, and talent, not as Hajime realizes he can't save Nagito from himself. Which each day, they grow closer and closer to the hip, practically seamed to each other.

That is, until Hope's Peak academy came into the picture. Nagito and Hajime immediately jumped for whatever chance they had to get in (both reasons are personal, but more tied to the character- Nagito still desires to be amongst the greatest, while Hajime still desires to be remembered [mostly by Nagito, though he doesn't entirely realize that's why].), but when they're still separated by the two courses, that's ywhere the problem lies. You see, Nagito is still an insensitive dumbfuck that doesn't realize how his words affect other people, and when he keeps actively degrading the reserve course students even in front of Hajime, it takes a toll. Hajime starts believing that Nagito hates him because of his status as a reserve course student now, and between the pressure of all the bullshit that happens to him because of his status and now this bs drama, he's willing to pay a price for his affection once again. A price that'll be much too permanent for either's liking.

This is where I add the Kamakura project in. I'm sorry for this upcoming angst shit but I always find my way back here.

When Hajime is presented the Kamakura project, he thinks about being able to join Nagito in the talent course and that Nagito won't be hate him for it anymore. He thinks of Nagito showering him with hugs and praise for finally being able to join him and his classmates. He thinks of the joy it'll bring to Nagito and his parents- but mostly Nagito. He thinks of Nagito, Nagito, Nagito as he signs his name. He didn't think he'd be shoved into a pod. He didn't think he wouldn't be able to see Nagito ever again. As he dies, he thinks about the little boy who offered his hand to him when his other friends left. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. Izuru is born thinking of this boy, and it sticks. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. He doesn't stop thinking of him, even when Enoshima and Ikusaba appeared with their proposition of despair (a part of him told him to not do it, let Nagito keep his hope, this man he couldn't remember), even when Chiaki dies in front of him (he feels... guilty, about her death, but not exactly sorrow. he wonders if he'd feel this way if the sheep man died.).

Nagito realizes who Izuru was when he turned around to aim at him. He saw the cold, dead eyes of this man, and for a moment he saw the boy who remembered him and brought him water and chocolate to help him feel better. The one person Nagito thought couldn't be affected by his luck was gone now. This was how Nagito fell into despair.

They generally stayed together for most of the apocalypse, still attached to the hip, although it was... different now. There were no more subconscious handholding moments as they traveled through the streets. There was no more trying to stop Servant from berating himself. There was no more helping Hinata's injuries. No more ice cream "dates". No more... love, in their presence.

Izuru tells Servant about his plan as they sit together on the boat to Jabberwock. Servant is sitting in the other's lap, stroking their hair as they speak. He responds with expressing his excitement, and Izuru feels a wave of guilt wash over him, though he drowns it out immediately.

Hajime wakes up to see his best friend standing over him. "Hey, Hajime, are you alright?" Nagito says, with a smile tainted with fear and despair as he offers his hand to help him up. Hajime briefly feels a sense of Deja vu, and grabs the offered hand.

(I keep making these too long dkckakkflakfkalfk f u c k)

sobs.........every time you get to the kamukura project i just brace myself bc it hurts like hell 100% of the time without fail......but ahhhhhhh i love this.......

for a moment i thought this was gonna be childhood friends and mastermind komaeda and i nearly had a heart attack?? mmm i’m still buzzing with the ideas but i’ll put it under the cut

just like. hajime finding comfort in having at least one person to rely on in this bizarre situation. komaeda really does ground him, he realizes, but that stability seems to crumble beneath him during that first trial. watching nagito, someone he thought he knew so well, reveal that he had been the one behind this elaborate plan to get himself or someone else killed? there’s no way hajime could okay after that, no way he could look at him the same way.

and he doesn’t, but he doesn’t look at him completely differently either. this komaeda, someone who’s unstable and actively looks forward to the next murder, is still komaeda. he’s still the same guy who goes through whole novels like they’re picture books, who pokes at his food at meal times and has to be nagged at to eat. he’s still nagito. and even if he wanted to, hajime couldn’t find it in himself to just ditch the guy he grew up with for all those years.

so, he reaches out again. gets to know his childhood friend for a second time, relearning his beliefs, his likes, his dislikes. even discovers some things he never noticed before. in a way, they were driven apart, but also brought back together again.

and that’s part of the reason it’s such a shock to see komaeda in monokuma’s place during that last trial, grinning down at them. he looks and sounds like nagito, but he couldn’t be him. someone who put them through all this couldn’t be that same boy who helped him when he fell off his skateboard all those years ago......right?

all of this information, from the world being a simulation to his childhood friend being the one to basically kill all of their classmates, it all throws him off. not to mention that he might not even exist outside of this program. choosing between staying with someone who betrayed him twice over or disappearing entirely........can he even make a decision like that?

[the--highlanders]

let's shake things up a bit and go for three's era for that ask game

ooh spicy!!

my favorite female character

jo!! she's super sweet. also her relationship with the master is so funny. her relationships with everyone are so good actually. like the bit in terror of the autons where three can't tell her he doesn't want her as his assistant??? actual cinnamon roll. but the way she kind of sweeps in and brushes over a lot of unit's bureaucracy and stuffiness is so funny and such a good match for three himself. and she's allowed to be clumsy but still brave but also never loses her empathy, and even though her decision to leave does come without the multi-episode build-up you might expect of more recent companions, it also doesn't come out of nowhere, it does fit her character to want to stay and make earth a better place.

my favorite male character

see I'm not really attached to any of the unit guys as like. individuals. I like them!! but idk if I could pick a favourite. maybe benton, he gets so many good moments. 'your actual pterodactyl' etc etc. also the brigadier and how consistently done he is with all of three's antics. like three is such a law unto himself that I feel like you need a character with him who just. doesn't take any nonsense

I would also list three himself here but he is no sort of chap. I feel like he would karate chop me for listing him as a male character. shoutout to three tho I do love him

my favorite book/season/etc

ough maybe season eight? just bc of jo.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

I actually really like the curse of peladon! I like that it's an alien political drama I like that there's a sequel I like that there's a plotline about three assuming the ice warriors are the villains and being proven wrong. the costumes are bonkers and the set is actually very nice, somehow claustrophobic and cosy at the same time. and I Love alpha centaurai

oh invasion of the dinosaurs as well. it's such a great bit of political commentary that has aged so well and then you get. the effects for the dinosaurs. unparalleled. I will forgive many sins in a dr who episode if there's dinosaurs though

my favorite cast member

katy manning seems super sweet I love her ;w;

my favorite ship

for all that this is the unit dating controversy era idk that I have one!! benton/yates seems fun and also like it could be interesting with invasion of the dinosaurs etc

a character I’d die defending

liz & I am defending her from terrence dicks specifically. she deserved more episodes

a character I just can’t sympathize with

can't really think of anyone?? even the master is Just Some Dude in this era

a character I grew to love

I've never been the biggest fan of sarah jane but on my most recent rewatch she grew on me!! I still think she's overrated by quite a few fans/general pop culture (like when you read companion rankings on generic nerd culture websites or w/e and she's like. the Only classic who companion there, that sort of thing) and I definitely don't think she's the first female companion to have agency or whatever some people like to make out. but that's obviously not a reflection of the character! and I did find myself enjoying her more than I'd expected

my anti otp

look I just. I don't care for jo and cliff. he's just nasty to her. and I honestly think jo's departure would have been better if she'd actually decided to stay purely bc she cared about the earth, not just because cliff was like 'oh yeah we're getting married now'.

[cream-and-tea]

Why hello there

Well, well, well. If it isn't my oldest enemy, introducing myself to anyone in any capacity. Ok so after lurking around this community since I made my blog and keeping track of (ie: lowkey highkey stalking) a bunch of amazing people with amazing work I've decided to face the Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known (ie: my anxiety) and make an actual post introducing myself. If for no other reason then to let people know what the hell is up with the idiot behind this screen.

So, what the hell is up with

the idiot behind this screen?

⎯hi yes that's me.

⎯you can call me Créme! Because I didn't pick a proper pen name before and now I'm attached to this one

⎯I've basically always thought about stories and writing for my whole life. But I only really got into it when I was around ten years old and had just started writing poetry. That was basically my gateway drug into all of creative writing lmao

⎯speaking of poetry. I do quite a lot of it and hope to create an anthology of my work someday (^^;;

⎯I like tea (obviously,) mostly herbal kinds that I will put milk in purely out of spite (and because it tastes good)

⎯I also like classic literature and history but probably for all the wrong reasons (hmu if you've got any Good Facts) and abusing my right to use brackets

⎯as for what I write currently it's just a lot of girls losing their morals and then kissing because I'm classy like that

⎯in all (a bit more) seriousness my w.i.ps tend to explore complicated character dynamics (just in general but mostly between friends/lovers or any combination of those two,) society being kind of horrible, and characters who at least try to do good in spite of that (or not.)

⎯speaking of my w.i.ps.......

Oops all gays

(aka the w.i.p pile)

⎯⎯ ALL FALL DOWN

⎯ aka "the superhero one"

⎯ stupidly self indulgent enemies-to-begrudging-allies-to-lovers wlw romance

⎯ seriously the p i n i n g in this book Jesus Christ

⎯ it causes me physical pain and I'm the one writing it

⎯ one mind controlling villain with no idea what the fuck he's doing, six disaster gays with something to prove, superpowers and an apparent death wish, two rival teams working together plus a huge delicious heaping of trauma

⎯ what could possibly go wrong? (Spoilers: literally everything)

⎯ themes include: coping with trauma| redemption| what makes someone a hero| what makes someone a villain| the dangers of obsessive hate and revenge| My Body Is Not My Own It Belongs To The Cause| found family| no one is really the "good guy" but they're trying anyways| the idea of "saving people" and fixing everything and how messed up that can get| and Loving Despite It All(tm)

—this one is basically my child to be honest and I can't wait to share more of it!

⎯⎯SWEET DREAMS

⎯ aka "the wtf even is this one"

⎯ a short story told from the pov of a dead girl as she recounts her own murder

⎯ we got an unhinged wlw couple in this one and oooh boy it ain't healthy

⎯ increasingly messy narration as she relives her trauma

⎯ lots of flower/dirt imagery

⎯ themes include: purity and filth| grief and death| coming to terms with a toxic relationship| realizing it was Not Your Fault| some weird religious subtext??? Kinda?? not even I rlly don't know what's going on there

⎯⎯ HUNGRY DOGS

⎯ aka "the! space!! Heist!!!"

⎯ basically three dumbasses get fucked over so they decide to fuck over the government as well (and also kind of sort of save humanity as they know it.)

—creepy!! Mind control! Plants!!

⎯ a little lite dystopia (tm)

⎯ space! Pirates!!

⎯ seriously how much plant based body horror can I shove into this sci-fi set entirely in space (the answer is: as much as possible)

⎯ themes include: collective responsibility| the body as a tool/weapon| autonomy in general| Humanity Is Dying (tm)| but that doesn't mean it's not worth fighting for| also redemption bc I'm trash

⎯ it's actually a lot more underdeveloped than the others but I wanted to let you know it exists

Sooo, yeah....

[janiedean]

Reading the JB + stump meta, I felt there could be so much to unpack also about gender/roles in Westeros, there. J not being (a) "whole" (man) bc he thinks he can't *fight* or *have sex with a woman* without his right hand, C thinking he could only "fumble at" her and downgrading him from ideal lover/"me as man" to "undesirable servant I'll let fill my cup", B still seeing him as fighter *and* attractive + wondering if he'd like her to be soft and helpless even while playing knight to his DID..

man you’re opening the hoover damn here if you want to talk to me about jaime and brienne’s gender roles reversal X°DDDDDDD ANYWAY SINCE YOU SO NICELY ASKED

first, as my bro @ofwickedlight​ has pointed out here and here jaime is actually pretty.... not toxic-masculine for westeros standards actually all the contrary, and he already doesn’t have the notions about women being supposedly inferior that most other people have (I’m referring you to those metas because they explain it better than I could here), so we’re already discussing someone who technically is starting from a better vantage point when it comes to deal with that notion

now, going on each specific point you said...

jaime:

as far as jaime is concerned his problem isn’t specifically tied to his lack of masculinity attached to the hand but the hand itself in the sense that if he was born to be a warrior taking it from him is basically taking his main source of pride/joy from him and it makes him useless on his job since it’s being in the *kingsguard*, and given that he can’t be with cersei in public of course he makes up for it with his chivalric prowess... which he doesn’t have anymore. like, that is a self-esteem blow of epic proportions because if he doesn’t have that then he has nothing else going for his supposed usefulness (and mind how he keeps himself alive also thinking he’ll see cersei again because that makes him feel like he can survive another day - if he doesn’t have his skills he’ll have the woman he loves/who loves him, right?) and he has to command the kingsguard without what makes him a knight and so on. now, the thing is that he has to eventually find out that he can fight and have sex and so on also without the right hand and that doesn’t define him whatsoever, but that doesn’t matter because the way he processes things as I said in that other post, he equates feeling good with both sex and sword fights, so taking his ability from one also might mean taking away the other and guess what, if you don’t count the sept sex, he and cersei haven’t really... DONE ANYTHING that’s not her trying to have sex with him and him refusing her when he realizes she’s disgusted since then, which could cement it. but it’s not that it makes him feel like a woman in a derogatory sense, it’s mostly about him feeling like he doesn’t have anymore what makes him good at his job or makes him cersei’s mirror, and mind that until he meets her again and it goes like shit he’s subconsciously aware that she wouldn’t like it if he looked different from her:

The reflection in the water was a man he did not know. Not only was he bald, but he looked as though he had aged five years in that dungeon; his face was thinner, with hollows under his eyes and lines he did not remember. I don't look as much like Cersei this way. She'll hate that.

now, if she loves him that much, should she give a damn? yeah, my point exactly. and while he tells himself that he has to go back to her, he knows subconsciously that she would hate for him to be back changed enough that she can’t recognize herself in him, which should already suggest a lot. but we also have another thing on the other side of the barricade, ie when he asks after brienne when qyburn’s treating him:

"I will ask after her. What is this woman to you?""My protector." Jaime had to laugh, no matter how it hurt.

and okay, he finds it hilarious for obvious reasons, but he doesn’t go and think it’s ridiculous. actually, he is the first one who says she’s his protector. AND, in the tub:

"Does the sight of my stump distress you so?" Jaime asked. "You ought to be pleased. I've lost the hand I killed the king with. The hand that flung the Stark boy from that tower. The hand I'd slide between my sister's thighs to make her wet." He thrust his stump at her face. "No wonder Renly died, with you guarding him.”She jerked to her feet as if he'd struck her, sending a wash of hot water across the tub. Jaime caught a glimpse of the thick blonde bush at the juncture of her thighs as she climbed out. She was much hairier than his sister. Absurdly, he felt his cock stir beneath the bathwater. Now I know I have been too long away from Cersei. He averted his eyes, troubled by his body's response."That was unworthy," he mumbled. "I'm a maimed man, and bitter. Forgive me, wench. You protected me as well as any man could have, and better than most."

now, I think people wrote novels of meta on here but for my purposes, note that first he thinks the sight of the stump distresses her when instead she’s most likely skittish because she’s bathing naked with another naked guy and from someone who thinks she’s ugly/undesirable, bathing naked with someone else is exactly the kind of thing that’d make you skittish, so it wasn’t the stump, then he tells her everything he did with it and she doesn’t care, and she only jerks up when he mentions renly and her failure to protect him, not before. THEN he gets hard looking at her and he’s... I mean, you can see that he has a pretty fucked up conception of sexuality if he thinks ‘okay I’ve been too long away from c.’ then ‘oh fuck she’s making me hot’ when she gets him hard, but never mind that. also, he’s troubled by his own body’s response which is what a fifteen year-old guy would even think and he feels halfway guilty for having felt attracted to someone else which again, he has a fucked up conception of sexuality, but never mind that, what does he say to apologize? ‘I’m bitter and you did a better job than most would have,’ ie: men, and he’s aware that she basically kept him alive throughout that entire thing and doesn’t think she’s lesser for it, all the contrary.

tldr: jaime himself doesn’t see his own condition as ending up in the damsel’s position as demeaning nor has any problem seeing brienne as someone who can and will do what most men would, and has no issue whatsoever with the idea of her protecting him, which is why I keep on saying that we’re in full on reverse gender-coded territory here and that jaime can’t give two fucks about it - he doesn’t, but because he’s gone outside gender norms when he was young and has no technical issue with the idea of women not being inferior and so on (and he also gives zero fucks about how you look, see tyrion), but at this point he doesn’t have the scope to see the entire situation and he has no idea of that nor that he might actually be having feelings when it comes to brienne because again, he’s spent all his life 100% convinced that he and c. are a package deal;

and count that we’re talking about a guy who romanticizes everything he touches to insane degrees - knighthood, his sister, his family and so on - and that when seeing that it’s not the case reacts seriously badly, *but* his relationship with brienne is pretty much devoid of it because when they met they didn’t like each other and he didn’t exactly put her on a pedestal, she earned it in his eyes same as he earned his place in her chart of people she actually admires/loves.

the rest is under the cut because this got long bye.

cersei:

I’ll try to keep this short and objective lest people decide I need to chill (*rolleyes*) but as you said, the thing is that again: cersei wants herself in a male body because she wishes she was born a guy so she could be in the position she yearns for ie tywin’s heir. period. jaime’s needs or personality or whatever matter zero to her but until he thinks they want the same thing then it’s all I’M NOT WHOLE WITHOUT HIM. except that (affc quotes):

"Fool. No one who wears a crown is ever safe." She looked about the hall. Mace Tyrell laughed amongst his knights. Lords Redwyne and Rowan were talking furtively. Ser Kevan sat brooding over his wine at the back of the hall, whilst Lancel whispered something to a septon. Senelle was moving down the table, filling the cups of the bride's cousins with wine as red as blood. Grand Maester Pycelle had fallen asleep. There is no one I can rely upon, not even Jaime, she realized grimly. I will need to sweep them all away and surround the king with mine own people.

"You were better, before you lost your hand. Ser Barristan, when he was young. Arthur Dayne was better, and Prince Rhaegar was a match for even him. Do not prate at me about how fierce the Flower is. He's just a boy." She was tired of Jaime balking her. No one had ever balked her lord father. When Tywin Lannister spoke, men obeyed. When Cersei spoke, they felt free to counsel her, to contradict her, even refuse her. It is all because I am a woman. Because I cannot fight them with a sword. They gave Robert more respect than they give me, and Robert was a witless sot. She would not suffer it, especially not from Jaime. I need to rid myself of him, and soon. Once upon a time she had dreamt that the two of them might rule the Seven Kingdoms side by side, but Jaime had become more of a hindrance than a help.

like: the moment he tells her ‘cersei you’re fucking up’ and actually tries to counsel her, after he loses the hand, he becomes.... MORE OF A HINDRANCE THAN A HELP. like. I need to rid myself of him. that’s.... not exactly what you think of someone who’s your other half or should love no matter what. and as you pointed out, the moment he loses the hand she basically downgrades him because he can’t be the man she wants to be and who cares about what he needs or wants, that’s not even taken into consideration. and tbh in that moment cersei is being more pro-reinforcing gender roles than she’d like to think because the moment he loses the hand (which makes him her male counterpart too, and one who can defend her in time of need like no one else could) and shows that he has a personality that’s, surprise!, not hers, she has no use for him anymore. also counting that cersei is the incarnation of internalized misogyny the whole thing certainly doesn’t go in her favor. and she’s actually pissed off he doesn’t fill her cup and throws it at him while full of wine later but never mind that, the thing is that for how much she hates men for holding her down as a woman she does the exact same thing to anyone else she can get away with including jaime, and that’s not loving someone back regardless because they’re your other half which is what jaime desperately wants instead. like jaime’s entire system is built on the idea that he loves her but she loves him back, and when he finds out it’s not the case, well, friendly reminder he did burn that letter and is trying to put himself back on track;

also: count that she dreamed THEY’D RULE THE SEVEN KINGDOMS, but jaime could have ruled the seven kingdoms when he killed aerys and when ned went inside the room he basically went and said OH HEY HELLO YOU’RE JUDGING ME TOO BAD BUT YOU WANT THAT THRONE? YOU CAN 100% HAVE IT BYE. like. it’s her dream. it was never his and she doesn’t even realize that, which says all about how much she’s aware of his emotional needs but nvm that.

brienne:

this one is the most complicated to unpack imo but that’s because brienne is in the sort-of-unique position of being the only one in between the two of them who manages to go past gender roles completely but actually doesn’t necessarily relish it;

as in: a lot of people assume that brienne wants to be a knight because SHE WANTS TO DO MEN THINGS but no, brienne wants to be a knight because a) it’s the job that better suits her built, b) it allows her to not being stuck at home in a role she hates surrounded by people who make her feel inadequate, c) it fits with her ideas about honor and allows her to have a chance at good things. as in, her key quote in acok was:

"Because it will not last," Catelyn answered, sadly. "Because they are the knights of summer, and winter is coming.""Lady Catelyn, you are wrong." Brienne regarded her with eyes as blue as her armor. "Winter will never come for the likes of us. Should we die in battle, they will surely sing of us, and it's always summer in the songs. In the songs all knights are gallant, all maids are beautiful, and the sun is always shining."Winter comes for all of us, Catelyn thought. For me, it came when Ned died. It will come for you too, child, and sooner than you like. She did not have the heart to say it.

now, this is basically telling you black on white that brienne would rather live in a song where the sun is always shining, if you die it’s okay because people will remember you, the knights are never not gallant (like the ones that she had to fight off all her life), the maids are beautiful (like she’s not) and everything is always better than in real life, and in this sense meeting jaime basically strips that from her but not enough. in the sense that he makes her realize that reality and songs don’t go well together, but it doesn’t mean she won’t keep trying to behave the way a proper knight should, which is what she does through all of affc;

but brienne also fell for renly when they danced together (DANCING ie what ladies do) and she was wearing a dress and he was basically nice to her while letting her be feminine for once, brienne admires cat for having a woman’s strength and brienne is entirely down with protecting also women along the road and so on, so like... brienne doesn’t hate feminine things, she just doesn’t partake in them because a) she’s better at being a knight which is sadly a man’s job in westeros, b) everyone made fun of her whenever she tried which then added to her overall self-esteem issues;

now, brienne’s basically going around westeros risking her neck to do knightly things even when as a woman it’s 100% more difficult than it’d be if she were a man and taking on that role, but when she wants to weep on jaime’s shoulder she’s basically saying she wants to be vulnerable with him like the soft helpless maidens she’s not like, and guess what, he did that with her when he told her about aerys pretty much, but again, brienne has no preconceived notion of gender roles blocking her because she doesn’t hate the female-coded ones but has taken on the male-coded ones her entire life because she either had to or felt called to or felt more at ease with them;

so like, jaime gives zero shits that she’s defying them and that makes him look even better/more appealing to her because he’s the only man who took her seriously *for real*/for herself and not for how useful she could be. also, as much as some people would like to say she’s not brienne, being a woman into guys, definitely noticed that he’s attractive (the white cloak becomes you + half a corpse and half a god, HMMM) and like, of course she’s into him, but the thing is that on one side she’s bent on being his knight because he trusted her with it and she swore to protect him (before he sent her off), on the other she sees him as the only male candidate who - having come back for her in the bear pit - she could allow herself to be feminine/vulnerable with because that was the only time in her life she actually was the damsel and not the knight.........and he did it without the hand, so the thing is that to brienne he was the knight in not so shining armor (or armor, period), when he jumped into the bear pit without a weapon or anything else to save her life after coming back for her which no one has ever done before, actually until then she has fought off everyone for herself (ronnet connington/hyle and the other guys). so like.. to brienne, his most heroic moment is when he tries to save her without the hand, so she couldn’t link that loss to his supposed lack of masculinity or skills or heroism because he didn’t need that hand to save her;

also I would like to point out that it’s fairly telling that in affc on one side he punches in the teeth the guy that ruined her self-esteem for good and disrespected her so much that when she has the fever nightmare she sees him and wishes jaime was there and would come back for her, while on the other she kills (and fairly bloodily/not gallantly) both timeon and shagwell (who btw had been especially creepy to jaime in his asos povs) thinking that she’s doing it *for* jaime as well and of course none of them knows what the other is doing in this sense. but like, brienne’s literally going knight in shining armor on him to the point where she’s willing to die for him (and that’s why I’m 100% convinced she kills LS to save him doing also the aerys parallel) and she has no issues with that because that’s what she’s good at.... same as he has no issues with it because he 100% accepted that she can do that job and has done it for him better than most people would have. and at the same time she also sees him as someone who would or might let her be also soft and helpless while he sees her as *gentler* than his sister and trusted her with his most well-guarded secret after she literally kept him alive when he was sure he wouldn’t make it. and the hand, to her, matters absolutely nothing.

like, that is why I think that jb is a case of continuous gender role reversal in which he’s coded as the DID 90% of the time and she’s coded as his knight 90% of the time but switch places for that other 10% of the time to a point where they’re basically well outside gender roles both in westeros terms and modern terms (tbqh that too) but it works perfectly for them. like, the point with cersei is that, for as much as she thinks she’s not, she’s *completely* stuck into the westeros gender roles structure and can’t get out or maneuver around it the way cat did or genna did or other women try to because she wants to have the same power men have without beating around the bush and will stick to it and cares for having power more than anything else and works for that. on the other side brienne has been outside gender roles all her life and can’t give two fucks about it even if she suffers for being denied her feminine side, and jaime has seen enough to know that gender roles are bullshit and women aren’t lesser than he is and also mostly wants to have his emotional needs met which he hasn’t had since forever. which is why jb matches perfectly in that sense, because he wouldn’t mind being with someone outside gender roles who gets him and she needs someone who’ll have her exactly the way she is and be into her regardless of her look or her working outside the norms and who would let her also be soft and helpless if she needed it. and that works for them because they could and would and have been that person already, except that they haven’t quite realized it because they’re two assholes who are shit at understanding their own feelings. and that is also why cersei and jaime post hand-loss can’t work, because she needs someone who’s her and looks like her and wants what she wants and jaime does not and never has.

/peace