#Bc that is an outlier bc I love how colorful and all it is. I couldn't care less abt that category in general.

[zoekrystall]

I always forget that's a thing. Love how splatoon got so much more hours but I mean not suprised. Should really touch the others more. Love how that aa game is there when I didn't even touch it much yet but I at least finished cyber sleuth and got a bit back into digimon again after ages. I didn't have internet for the first months and I will never forgive the world for making me miss splatfests. Also glad I picked acnh up again I am slooowly shaping my island for once and it's nice. I prob pick up totk up again sooner or later either to get extra stuff done or bc I still got a moodboard idea in the back of my mind since months which involves taking ingame pics for it instead of searching irl ones since the scenery is pretty.

[nightcolorz]

Can you talk a little more about how you view gender roles in the vampire chronicles vs amc iwtv bc I feel like sth is missing from amc compared to tvc that i can't place

I would love to !! (Explodes) I have so many tvc gender thoughts. So so many. 

I believe the major disconnect between the show vs the books and gender is the place and perspective the writer’s are coming from. Something I really love about Anne Rice’s writing (and really hate sometimes lol) is that she didn’t think about themes or implications at all when she wrote. She just purged her story onto the page and themes and patterns just end up there. This means that every bit of consistency and meaning in tvc comes from something Anne Rice had fixed into her subconscious that she without realizing is putting into her work. So when it comes to gender, in tvc it’s all personal feelings of Anne rice’s. This differs in the show that obviously has a team of writers who put a lot of thought in about public reception and meaning and all. So these perspectives color how gender (and everything basically) is presented.

Anne Rice had some complicated feelings about gender. I’m not going to go too deep into that bcus that’s not what I want this post to be about, but in summarization she had a combination of problematic biases and internalizations that came from a Catholic upbringing in the 40s-50s and some apparent gender dysphoria or at least disconnect with womanhood and gender/gender roles in general. She’s spoken about not understanding gender or feeling like a woman. This comes off very strongly in how she presents her vampires as androgynous, almost genderless beings. It’s a reoccurring theme in tvc that vampirism takes away the burdens of gendered expectations and gives vampires the freedom of self expression and androgyny. It makes sense why a concept like this would speak to a trans person like me, so it’s a big part of why I prefer the book’s handling of gender. Of course Anne Rice also has problematic gender biases, so her presentation of being an androgynous being free of gender roles is flawed, since gender roles are very ingrained in her mindset, which adds to my dissatisfaction with the show’s handling, which could’ve been so good if they took what Anne Rice tried to do and enhanced it.

Anyways, when it comes to tvc there’s also Anne Rice’s subconscious projection of her irl struggles onto her characters. A handful of Anne Rice’s insecurities and struggles came from, well, being a woman, and since her characters r so much of the time vessels to vent her problems through, a strange occurrence happens where her vastly male cast is struggling in ways that would be relatable to women and people who face misogyny and/or internalized misogyny. (Cough cough this is especially apparent with Louis and Armand cough cough).All of this wasn’t conscious on Anne Rice’s part, it’s just a natural consequence of how personal her writing was. An outlier to the “cis men experiencing misogyny” phenomenon is Gabrielle, who I could write a whole essay on, one of the few afab characters who also has projected gender problems by Anne Rice syndrome, but since she is afab she just ends up coming off as a gnc/transmasc/ftm person dealing with gender dysphoria. 

Then there’s the show, which disclaimer I like the show a lot, but boy do I have Issues with it. I could be wrong, we only have one season, but it doesn’t seem like the show is attempting to tackle the “vampires are genderless” concept. They definitely do things with androgyny and gender roles, but not in the context of “messing around with/being free of these things is amazing”. Vampirism in iwtv seems to only enforce gender, weirdly enough. Let me explain!

Ok, so what the show seems to be doing with gender roles is using the concept of a “nuclear family” and our expectations of what that entails to assert the dynamic of Louis, Lestat, and Claudia’s familial relationship. Through utilizing tropes and imagery associated with a nuclear family the viewers are easily able to pick up on the subtext and conflicts that the show is presenting us with, bcus we all know the nuclear family. I think comparing the rue royal family to a nuclear family is interesting in concept, but in execution, I’m not a fan. I think if the show went a different route, and had Louis frame the story in a way that compares his life to familiar hetero, mortal family conventions for the sake of being sympathetic and understandable to Daniel and readers, without that being the literal dynamic of the characters, that could’ve been interesting. Also, I like the concept of oppressive systems like gender roles becoming oppressive in different ways for vampires, since “vampirism isn’t freeing it just gives u different problems” is a theme of the show that I rlly like, esp bcus Anne rice was rarely able to decide if vampirism was super fun or tortuous. But that doesn’t seem to be what the show is doing. Lestat, Louis, and Claudia literally just fit into your stereotypical abusive nuclear family tropes. Sometimes things are switched around and subverted, but for the most part it’s pretty consistent. Anne Rice’s personal projections onto the characters is nearly nonexistent, most glaringly for Lestat. I don’t like this, it doesn’t make sense for the characters, and it also simplifies their dynamic and conflict in the book to be much less interesting in my opinion. 

Sometimes the show will show us characters breaking gender expectations, Lestat occasionally or Antoinette cross dressing (speaking of Antoinette I’ll get to her), but none of these moments seem to mean anything adjacent to “vampires are genderless or gender-fluid and this is freeing for them. These moments seem to align more closely with imagery associated with queer coded villains during the Hayes code era. Both Lestat and Antoinette are being particularly grotesque and villainous during their gnc moments, which aligns with the old hollywood vibe that the show seems to be going for, which is mildly cool, but not particularly compelling or relatable to me beyond that. And it definitely doesn’t have the type of resonance that the books do when it comes to gender nonconformity. 

So, I think Antoinette is the prime example of this. Antoine in the books was a young man, 19 years old, who Lestat used in a way that was reminiscent of how a cheating husband would use a mistress. He fooled around sexually with this younger man and also confided to him in ways he didn’t his “husband” (Louis), escaping to him when he was fed up with his family at home to blow off steam and vent his struggles, the way he does with Antoinette in the show. But Antoine himself did not have the stereotypical personality of a “mistress”, he was naive and well intentioned, didn’t realize he was being used and that Louis was being hurt in the process. When Lestat tells him that he needs his help fighting back against his family he’s horrified and confused. Antoinette in the show is not this, she’s very much a “mistress”, and the sex change from book to show makes this even more annoying to me. It just seems like the show writers wanted to make the subtextual coding of Antonine’s character in the books annoyingly unsubtle text, by making Antonine the stereotypical evil and seductive female mistress, which I rlly hate. And also they removed any and all sympathy attached to Antoine’s  character in the process. (Side note ik ppl are gonna come at me with “oh but it’s from Louis’s perspective! That’s why Antoinette is treated that way, he hates her! And to that I say there is no evidence to support that, it hasn’t happened in the show, you made it up. And if it’s true and done well I’ll eat my words, but for now my opinion is based on what is in the show, and it prob won’t change until we get new content.)

There’s more, like how Louis fulfills the traditionally female roles in marriage (cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc) which is kind of gnc, but only so that the show can frame him as more of a stereotypical abuse victim, and not to say anything interesting about how vampirism gives people more opportunities to explore gender fluidity in ways they find freeing. The show uses gender roles to non subtly code the characters in ways that are easily digestible and relatable to a cis audience. That’s my main gripe, gender in AMC’s iwtv is very cis. 

What I love about the books is how fluid gender is with the characters. Lestat is very feminine and very masculine, so is Louis, these traits can co exist without ever contradicting each other. But ig that was too complicated and varied for the show to want to tackle, just like the complex mutual toxicity of loustat’s relationship, which was dumbed down so much also. I feel like the show writers didn’t know what to do with a gay relationship where both men are feminine and masculine and also both men have complex trauma and traits that make their relationship unhealthy + a hot mess, and instead just reframed loustat to be traditional abusive relationship we’ve seen a billon times in media.

In conclusion, the show could very well change my mind and portray gender/gender roles in a way that I enjoy, but for now I’m unsatisfied. I want to be wrong ultimately. If you like how gender is handled in the show feel free to disagree, but plz don’t come at me with anger. I’m happy to have a discussion, I’m very interested in this topic, but I don’t want to humor you if you’re rude. And if you want to talk more about the books and gender I’d be more then happy, feel free to dm me or send me an ask or reply to this post, I love the androgyny of the books sm and love talking about it. Thank you anon sm for sending the ask <3 I’ve been wanting to talk about this.

[fuckyeahjasonschwartzman]

im becoming a fan bc of spiderverse and i love your blog <3 ive seen a couple wes anderson movies/scott pilgrim but are there any movies or shows you’d recommend? thank u!!

okay so fair warning, outside of the animated movies, the wes anderson ones, and spvtw, pretty much all jschwartz movies and shows are going to contain something mildly graphic at the least. usually it's weird sex which I think is awesome but I can't recommend viewing if you're a minor (most of my followers aren't tho so I'm not worried)

anyway, here are recs with my personal thoughts! (reading the little reviews is not mandatory but suggested? I guess if you want a better idea of what you're getting into)

Shopgirl (2005)

Besides Steve Martin's absolutely rancid performance, I'm actually a huge fan of this movie and I think it's so enjoyable. it's not a masterpiece, but there was clearly a lot of intent and thought put into the design choices and cinematography (I've written papers on the color symbolism!) and though the story isn't amazingly coherent because it was adapted from a much better written novella, it is still at least enjoyable. I love the atmosphere, and I think it's a very unconventional romance film that explores the unhealthy relationships that are glamorized in similar media as sexy and desirable (ray porter is a character that existed before, and yet still makes fun of toxic love interests like christian gray). and I like how it extremely accurately represents what it's like being a severely depressed lonely woman.

I'm inherently biased here because I watched this movie for the first time while I was in an abusive relationship and it still really resonates with me. most people luckily do not experience that so I'm a bit of an outlier here :')

2. I Heart Huckabees (2004)

I have no deeper reason for loving IHH I just find it delightful. it's weird, it's confusing, its kinda gross, it's shocking and you don't start understanding it unless you think about it really hard for a while. it's essentially a beginner's guide to different schools and concepts in philosophy, which I'm a big ol sucker for. lovely message that I believe is handled better than a lot of movies who go for the existentialism thing. not a fan of the director, but this movie is pretty enjoyable and leaves you with a lot to think about (if you're into that). LOVE the score.

3. Spun (2002)

INITIAL WARNING THIS MOVIE IS DISGUSTING. and I love it. it's so fun and experimental especially with the editing and cinematography, the pacing is insane, not to the mention the animation, the color correction, the everything... has one of the most amazingly satisfying closing shots in a movie, ever. but it's definitely not for the faint of heart, if you can't sit through watching someone snort meth off a urinal stall or a close up of someone injecting themselves with a needle, this is definitely not for you. (not to mention the sex, again).

4. Marie Antoinette (2006)

yayy finally an option that most people agree is good! unless you're French. I was almost named Antoinette after my French g-g-gma (got named after my French g-g-g-gpa Raymond instead), plus rococo is a huge interest of mine so I adore this movie. it was shot on location at Versailles, the costumes are GORGEOUS, and almost everything is accurate! it has a mixed classical-modern soundtrack and aesthetic that I find very effective in getting its message across. however I do tend to like this movie more than most because I know who everyone is and what's happening already! it's based on a biography by Antonia Frasier which is sitting next to me as I type this lol.

5. Funny People (2009)

HEAR ME OUT. OKAY. mark taylor jackson was my "ohhh shit this dude's hot" moment and this movie was The Beginning for me. YES, it's an Adam Sandler movie co-starring Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill. AND YES. I FIND IT TO BE AN EFFECTIVE DRAMA. I don't like drama in film in general, I find most to be very unrealistic and unrelatable for me so I get bored easily, but I do think this weirdly works? I love how it's kind of an introspective look at Adam Sandler's career, with liberties taken, and the characters seem to actually have some chemistry and realism to them, even in the sillier moments. jason schwartzman is super cute. need I say more.

6. S1m0ne (2002)

ok, admittedly jason isn't in this one too much. and yet it's still worth mentioning because it's an insanely underrated and likeable movie! if anything al pacino is hot, and the entire premise is so unsettling and dystopian in an ACTUALLY WELL HANDLED sci-fi manner (good sci-fi concepts tend not to be "what ifs" but allegories for things that are actually happening already). S1m0ne is a criticism of hollywood, celebrity culture, and mass media, and it's genuinely just so creative to me. another contender for the best ending shot in cinema. ALSO, very pretty cinematography and a very fun early 2000s feel to it. the writer/director also wrote the Truman Show iirc!

7. Bored to Death

saving TV for last. let me tell you one thing! if you're looking for jason schwartzman at his best, you need to watch this show. it is so funny, so entertaining, and best of all, every character in it is so terrible and fucked up and it's wonderful. it's crazy, but grounded in reality, which makes it even crazier. jason schwartzman plays a hopeless romantic author who's boredom and disappointing love life lead him to becoming an "unlicensed private detective" who accepts jobs through craigslist. also there are zach galifianakis and ted danson, who play the two other main characters. the entire premise of the show is these three guys getting high and solving mysteries together and it's phenomenal. there's an actual episode where jason runs down the streets of brooklyn in full leather bdsm gear. there's an episode about furry sex. It's so weird and perverted and SUCH a good comedy noir(?) I can't not recommend it, despite having the worst fucking ending out of anything ever cause it got canceled.

tldr: I like bad movies

there are a ton more I could go ok about but these are the ones I personally enjoy the most. good luck

[thenamesblurrito]

screw it have the cosmere/transformers thoughts that plague me

spoilers ahoy

i'm willing to bet that whatever Adonalsium was, Primus and Unicron may be vaguely similar entities depending on interpretation. obviously the cosmere belongs exclusively to the Shards, but if it's a dwarf galaxy, then perhaps, just perhaps, Cybertron's galaxy could be its neighbor

(please picture Adonalsium and Primus studiously ignoring each other across lightyears of empty space bc they have their own problems thank you very much that other god over there is minding their own business)

Unicron may not have been strong enough to eat Adonalsium straight up, given that we know he can be defeated by Primus/various forces vaguely allied with Primus. but the scattered, weakened Shards warring with one another... hmmm the cosmere might look like a nice snack now

IF we go with the understanding that they are similar but alien entities to one another, then would there not be an entire system of "investiture" equivalence for Cybertron? you've got outliers and point-one percenters, you've got the Primal artifacts of great magic power, you've got everything about the Allspark, the Spiritual Realm Well of Sparks, the various properties of energon and sentio metallico and transwarp energy, etc. i'm willing to bet that there's an entire Cybertronian paradigm to realmatic theory that could be explored by perhaps a very very lost member of the Seventeenth Shard that has a similar setup but different power source to the cosmere

and if that's the case, could Transformers even intersect at all with the cosmere's magic systems, when they run on their own system? could they absorb or be affected by investiture if they're full of energon and powered by a spark? would they be immune to any invested influence, but likewise be unable to use their own outlier abilities on an invested object, or a Shard-influenced or Adonalsium-created thing?

i'm not going to touch on Era 3 or 4, there's already so much to explore with "low tech" cosmere lore that i feel like bringing in computers and spaceships would just blow my mind and provide so many cool alt modes for Cybertronians to scan.... (that said i really need to read TotES)

spren manifest as metal in the Physical Realm. is a Transformer spark simply a powerful spren manifesting/forging a metal body in the Physical Realm?

is a Transformer's frame simply really fancy Shardplate?? (and didn't Brandon say that it would be extremely hard but possible for Radiants in Shardplate to combine?? helloooo gestalts)

could a Cybertronian bond a spren? would it function like a Headmaster/Targetmaster binary bond or like a proper Nahel bond??

would the Magnus Hammer be able to influence the Stormfather?

also coppermind Matrix. it's orange and everything

yknow that TFP episode where Optimus was dying (as usual) and then the hammer remade him bigger better faster stronger? something something he's a Returned (even moreso if you consider he's canonically one of the reincarnated original Thirteen)

actually i think i could argue that anyone upgraded to a Prime by the Matrix is a form of Returned

would LOVE to see a shade from Hell react to a Transformer. likewise would love to see anyone in the cosmere deal with an undead mech, be it ghost, Terrorcon, or Allspark-fueled

i think kandra wouldn't be any more gross to the average Cybertronian than any other organic, they're all made of meat and bones and recycled organic matter anyway. they'd probably think of kandra as organic Mutacons?

they'd probably find the color draining effects of Breath very morbid. after all, their own corpses go grey. it seems fitting

would cold constructed mecha be reforged into their spark-determined true form given enough investiture?

could a Shardblade cut through Cybertronian armor? assuming a mech is forged from cybermatter/sentio metallico, the metal flesh of a living planetary god, i'd like to think that may register... a little bit special, in realmatic theory

even if their armor was just normal metal, how much aluminum is in their makeup?

and if a Shardblade can slice through, would it deaden the limb or just cut it in half?

relatedly, could an Allomancer burn shavings from a mech's armor? if they're made of cybermatter instead of regular metal, what kind of effects would that have?

could an Allomancer steelpush off a mech?? would this mess with their internals? how precise could an Allomancer get with what particular body part/how deep into the frame they're targeting? a human weighs nothing next to a mech, but could they take one down by steelpushing the circuitry of the processor?

could energon store stormlight? or does it already have its own "investiture" equivalent as crystal blood of gods

photonic crystals can store sparks, so could they capture a spren?

Lockdown would collect Hemalurgic spikes

Sebarial and Swindle would be instant besties

Nightblood and Starscream. picture it

KELSIER and Starscream. oh god

would Kelsier punch Rung

for that matter would non-Cybertronians or people not native to the Unicron/Primus section of the universe operating on that power paradigm be able to perceive and remember Rung?

the Ghostbloods would try to take advantage of sudden giant alien metal warriors showing up out of nowhere. i'd like to think it would be a comedy of errors in miscommunication and accidentally thwarted plans until Kelsier throws up his hands and decides to call it quits on these guys

Soundwave would visit Roshar and have the same "it's the most beautiful music in the wooooooorld *sob*" breakdown as that one G1 episode upon hearing the rhythms and tones, i think he'd absolutely be able to hear them naturally

HEARTS OF STEEL STYLE TRANSFORMERS BUT COSMERE THEMED INSTEAD OF EARTH STEAMPUNK

Bondsmith Optimus. because yes

Lightweaver Jazz. spymaster? sound and light show? it's perfect

flying contest: Windrunners, Skybreakers, and Heavenly Ones vs Seekers. who wins? (personally i think nobody would "win" bc the two groups are functionally doing Very Different Things)

for a more applicable contest of power, anyone with the Surge of Gravitation vs Victorion

Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus would be right at home in Azir, please let him have fun with other rule-happy bureaucrats

and if you read this far, the real final reason i've thought so much about this...

i literally just want to see Hoid have to deal with any Cybertronian. i seriously cannot pick a favorite individual or scenario. Hoid ending up on the Lost Light? Hoid plopped on Cybertron and anointing himself Prime's Wit of the functionist regime bc by god they need someone to knock them down a peg? Hoid discovering a frozen Skyfire or Megatron on some cosmere planet? Hoid collecting minicons? Hoid adding another esoteric power to his list and getting possessed by the Cube ala RotF?

[cartoonyappreciation]

As an asexual a(gray?)romantic, it’s hard for me to explain to my allosexual friends what life for me is like. I would think it should be easy, “You know how you feel about people you don’t feel attracted to? Take that and apply it to everyone.”

“So you don’t love anyone?”

“Of course not, do you need to be attracted to your best friends or family to love them?”

It’s hard to say, “oh that person is attractive/hot/beautiful,” and not feel the need to defend my sexuality. I define those things in the same way that a child defines a color as blue, a flower as pretty. Growing up surrounded by social media, we are constantly told what is sexy, who is hot, who is attractive. Feeling nothing to indicate otherwise, of course I might adopt those ideals as my own.

It is difficult, still, to explain to them the difference between recognizing a person as attractive, despite not experiencing it myself, how some aces are able to enjoy sex, although some do not. How does one explain the lack of something they have never experienced?

In high school, maybe middle school, we are (or at least I was) taught that men will tell you anything to get in your pants. That it is men who feel this way, and while it could prove tempting for women, it is us who bear the consequences of those irresponsibilities. With that fear mongering, and those words, how was I to suspect anything might be “other”?

A boy asks me out and I say yes because it is exciting to be wanted, to be loved. I break up with him a couple months later because I still feel no different about him to how I felt before. He is still my best friend and I feel guilty for leading him on, a lie of omission. While my other friends are dating, none of them that I know are interested in sex. I’ve heard of other girls in school partaking, but those rumors are bounced around with insults. I feel bad for them, but do not really know them.

In college I live with three other girls I have barely met. It is here where I first begin to suspect that I may not feel everything these girls do. I try dating when it comes up, but still feel no desire to take things up a level. I become well-aware of my roommates sex-lives (living in that close proximity to one another and being away from friends/families for the first time makes you talk). I talk to other girls, I look things up online, I reflect.

Sometimes it’s easy to see how I feel differently than others around me. When people around me fawn over celebrities, or get nervous around people they find attractive, I realize that it isn’t really a bit. Not for these people. It’s fun to go along with sometimes, to be dramatic, but for my friends, after talking to them, I know it’s not a joke for them. They may have a flair for the dramatic, but apparently they also feel something alongside the happiness of entertaining one another, aside from just the general anxiety of being close to other human beings you are unfamiliar with. In elementary school, I had one go to celebrity and one school-mate who were my go-to crushes. Declarations of having no crushes were met with total and utter disbelief and speculation.

How does one show or explain the lack of certain thoughts? Here, let me draw you a comic, write you a book, of just how much I am not thinking of boys, or girls, enbys (bc yall are stylish as hell) or having a relationship, having sex. Oh wait, that’s just a story about a normal person doing literally anything else.

When I tell new friends about my identity, sometimes I get the good old, “Wow, I’m so jealous. You must be able to be so focused and get so much done!” I question how much of that is a joke versus how much allos actually pine or get distracted by their sexualities. (Granted, I have had to stop my brother from getting us into an accident when he was distracted by a particularly caked up booty, but he hasn’t gotten into an accident before, so surely that must be an outlier?)

That is all to say, as many have said before, it is difficult to explain, or even recognize, the lack of a certain feeling. I think it’s kind of funny, if a bit annoying. But online communities have really helped me accept myself for who I am, even if I’m still figuring it out one step at a time.

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

SONG SONG SONG SONG

tell me what you mean by angela is jane ives pleaseee

EHEHHEHEHEHE MY BAYBEE ANGELA IVES

BASICALLY this revolves around

When El was trying to become Jane, she used Angela as her inspiration.

The real Jane Ives (or at least the girl Terry thought was hers who she flashed back to- I believe that this IS Jane bc how else did Terry find her and because El's birth memory does not match Terry's) is blonde and wore normie clothes. While it is possible she was moved to the Gown Facility, likely, in fact, based on a convo in NINA, her hair color would not change all the way to dark brown in the consecutive four years necessary to become Killer Ellie, aka the El we see at the very END of NINA who was the HNL Murderer. Since Jane is not Killer Ellie, she can't be El since El's initial flashback is of Killer Ellie pre-NINA

As a blonde (via flashback), Jane Ives is likely El's "opposite" like when Will's eyes changed to symbolize his new personality, or the Blonde Mother pattern, and any number of inter-timeline hair/eyes clues of that nature. Angela fits the bill as an opposite since she is popular and a bully.

Angela likely developed her bullying patterns because of trauma, and I realized that it lines up with the lab, ie: wanting to be the teacher's favorite, so much so that she is paralleled to 002

As @/henrysglock so kindly pointed out to me, Angela's outfit is the inverse of El's. She wears a ring on the opposite finger, a watch not a hairband, same hairstyle as El but with a high pony, etc.

Angela is weirdly obsessed with Hopper. The writers chose for El's school project to be about Hopper, and for Angela to pick on her for this project not once but twice, AND for Angela to bring up Hopper again at the Rink-O-Mania. She then targets El's lack of this supportive father- and I believe this is because whoever adopted Angela isn't like him, or because they are and she feels insecure in maintaining her situation thereof. Either way, growing up with a Brenner and losing Kali make her fixate on someone like Hopper, who El specifically says protected her, a fact Angela points out at the rink.

Angela and Troy, are like, the only bullies who don't get backstory. HOWEVER, Troy got a scene with his mother in ST1, which is already more exposition than Angela, plus if he's actually on the basketball team, then he might get screentime next szn. If Angela is accrual the outlier here, what was the reason? /rhetorical

The fuckin angst potential. I'm biased as fuck and I admit it. Not only that but the narrative potential. The whole point of timeline theory within a show who's meta is about the cycle of abuse and bigotry? The whole Multi Henry thing is meant to show how variables can affect outcome- ie: some Henrys become Vecna. SOME older brothers become like their fathers and others don't. This carries over to SOME Ellies kill more than others (including our lovely leading lady, whose arc about accepting her supposed monstrosity as a part of a whole is looking suspiciously complete) and SOME Ellies become Angelas.

ANGEL. HER NAME HAS FUCKIN ANGEL IN IT. As we know, as "Angel" is the person whom the memory of brings a Curse victim back to reality via the victim's will to live. Victor's Angels are his family members, and Max's are- get this, Lucas and El and her wider friend group. Not only this, but Max sang Madonna's "Angel" in El's bedroom in ST3. I'm not sure what the implication quite is here, if it's more than "She's an alternate timeline version of a girl who is somebody's angel", but I think it had to mean SOMETHING.

I THINK that's all for right now. I'm still kinda obsessed though

ALSO WELCOME BACCK

[abyssmalice]

Thinking about how I designed Tonia's Fatui fit with mostly blue and gold and white—which makes her a stark outlier in color palette compared to most of the Harbingers.

(the ones with actual models in-game anyway; I'm not counting Winter Night's Lazzo bc that's implied to be alternate formal wear and not their default uniforms so to speak)

like Scara, Arle and even Childe himself all have dark or muted colors and a prominent streak of red. and technically, Tonia also has a bit of red... just, only in her mask, which is currently the exact same as Childe's. but otherwise, she has zero red or much at all in the way of dark, dull colors in her uniform, as seen below:

(god I love this commission so much still aaaaaah my dooter in color and childhood vibes aaaaaaaaaaah)

I've spoken before that this lowkey reflects a purposeful favoritism from the Tsaritsa - associating Tonia strongly with the Archon and her colors, so that regardless of who she is, she's not to be seen as someone to be messed with; a form of protection, physically and politically.

but I'm also thinking — this is lowkey also like, meaningful on a meta layer??

because she doesn't look like she's a part of the Harbingers with her deviating color palette - and in canon, well, she's not!! she literally replaces Childe in her AU.

but she's still a tartie........ because her Delusion form is where all the dark, red colors actually are!!!!!!!!!!!!! she finally matches her coworkers only when she properly dons her mask and acts her role as Tartaglia with a little more seriousness and showcasing her true dangers and ability, justifying her position among the eleven ranks at all.

it's just like.................... wow, meta symbolism........ my tonitoni is so cool...!!!!!

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

i don't have a horse in this race but i do love (derogatory) how cait doing an interview two months after the whole debacle with her fake accounts targeting authors of color really thinks they can shake the image of them being racist by saying that the books they targeted on goodreads just happened, purely by coincidence, to be all authors of color.

what's that saying again? once is an outlier. twice is a coincidence. but--how many authors did they target?--like 8 or 9 is a pattern.

like cait, not only am i going to think of what you did to authors of color when i hear your name, but i am also just going to continue to think you're extra racist bc you can't admit that you have some extremely racist views you need to work through. you can struggle with substance abuse issues and be racist. those two things are not mutually exclusive. and in fact, one can lead into another if you already hold those views.

like girl, let it simmer down even a little before you go and put yourself on blast again.

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

day 2 “ ur crush “

his hair color changes frequently n i think thts just about the only thing he feels comfortable with changing as quick as it does. he has a red spiral tattoo on his head and a light blue c & m on the side of his face. a green spider on his shoulder. a dinosaur on his left calve. an angel serophim with eyes all over its face on his stomach. tribal patterns on his forearms. ive seen his body a hundred times but still don’t have it all memorized.

the first time we met he grabbed my duster jacket and stared at me for a while while saying hey. n while complimenting me for the skirt i wore he felt for my garters. then screamed his preferences for me and himself in the midst of a loud restaurant that got our order wrong twice n complained ab how there was too much ice in the overpriced glass of coke. i didn’t know until months later that he could scream in a public restaurant but he would also keep a lot of thoughts to himself . and say a lot like how things are fine when they’re not and play everything off like it’s all ok n he’s easygoing til it’s too much n he kinda breaks. he has an inner world he tries to relay bc it’s more than the words u choose to say. how do u make them feel when u say them.?

he never forces himself onto others. but he gives his heart away. he is a natural outlier. he wants to never be held down or be told what to do but at the same time loves to follow orders. loves to please. eager to help. begs to be kicked down to prove that he would exist like that just for u. he believes everyone deserves a second chance. and to be believed. but he still prefers animals to humans.

he is the smell of algae and moss on grey rock. sedimentary matter. the pink n purple n lite blu morning sky. soft black velveteen sheets. a kiss on the forehead goodnite.

he is insecure about his speech his grammar his work his art the opinions n first impression others conjure of him. his eyes see and his brain shuts off when its disinterested n unengaged n he forgets alot of things but i find it hard to see that as unbearable when i do double the amount of work to remind him of things in his day to day schedule or how we’re cutting close to timeframes cuz he never forgets anything i say.

[inkedmyths]

Hi Ink, i played on Sunday too i was just too sleepy to write, but now i'm supposed to be working so i'm here instead :"D So uhhh lots of things happened, yea fishy activities from our villains. Would be sooo funny if their ominous leader comrade C would be the chancellor actually. i mean they are so so dedicated to bringing that guy down. :") i have a feeling though that i should know that guy (C i mean) anyway keeping an eye on him. hm i'll probably flood u with asks now bc stupid char limit

Oh this was a delight to wake up to. Congrats anon! You're in deep and there's probably no way out

Laura is indeed absolutely amazing and we all love her. Now her and Fie are unstoppable and could probably take over the world together if they felt like it. We love when girls fight it out in the middle of the night and then become besties

Ahh, yes, the enigmatic C. I won't say much regarding that one for Reasons, but your theorizing is deeply entertaining.

Same with Opera Lady AKA Vita. She's definitely weird but I am not elaborating on how, except that it's probably going to catch you by complete surprise

AND YAAAAY the final two members join the gang!! And yes Crow is great. Now you can be treated to such funny things as the fact that he can be seen dozing off in class scenes. OH and his link victories. I'm begging you his victory bits when linked with the others are so funny, esp Jusis and Millium. AND HIS COOKING please you have to have him fuck up a recipe I love his line when he does that

Ah, Millium... baby child. Spy baby child. Very interesting kiddo, since she vacillates between being Baby and being a competent spy. Her situation is... complicated, for reasons that don't start to become apparent until at least CS2 and is elaborated on in CS3. Anyways yeah now you get to play Baby Leash Holder, have fun

Legram Field Study! This one is so interesting because while Shit Goes Down on every field study, it goes down in a completely different manner and reason than all of the others. It's an outlier, representative of the other side of the plot. It's also one of those that's very interesting in hindsight.

Viscount Arseid is THE coolest guy. I mean if it wasn't already obvious from being called something like The Radiant Blademaster. Genuinely, he is one of the most powerful characters around, and this remains a fact throughout. As far as the nobility goes he's up there with the best. And yeah he's a good dad guy. We love him.

Watching you adore Laura and her dad, there's a character in the later games you are going to LOVE. She doesn't show up for a while so you'll have to wait. But if you love the big sword people, you are going to adore this one.

THE RAILWAY GUNSSS yeah you're coming up on that fast! Exciting. And yes Elliot's dad is there, which is indeed so fun, and I look forward to you meeting him

So, a bit on the bracers, since they're actually a very central group to the series as a whole. In the CS arc you get a better feel for them in the later games, as you meet other members of the guild. Those who came from the Sky and Crossbell games, though, would be more familiar with them. The protagonists of the Sky games are themselves Bracers, and the Crossbell crew works semi-in-tandem, semi-competitively with them. Each arc is fairly good at being played by themselves, but there's your fun background! They're a fun and overall very do-gooder organization. And also a veryyyy colorful bunch lol

And finally, the Chancellor. He's. Well, controversial certainly applies. Politics, child spies... once again, can't say shit, but I will say I want to study this man under a microscope.

[slutforchocorobos]

Since it's still mermay, H2O verse mermaid tail ranking:

(idk how this came to be so long, so it under a read more)

out of any music videos, commercials, TV shows, movies, H2O verse tails are still miles, MILES ahead in terms of construction and quality than almost any other production. (psh psh shoutout to JMB FX Studio) BUT i will blabber opinions bc i can

ON WITH THE RANKING:

#4 Mako Mermaids mermaid tails

Jonathan decided to expand everything: lore, universe, cast (so many tails and tops you guys, if I was the one in charge of gluing all those scales I would've killed myself on the spot) but his budget obviously wore thin.

so weak, so flimsy, need milk

These make me sigh to no end, why whyyy the same design as h2o when they have NO budget to afford the same tails.

Look at how they murdered my girls, the tails can no longer stand on its own, they look so sad. THE TAIL PHOTO IS PART OF THE ESSENCE OF H2O,THE MAIN DRAW OF A MERMAID SHOW. They really had to photoshop the tails on later seasons 😔. Tragic.

i appreciate that each tail has a fun unique pattern kinda animal inspired under the scales. it gives the tails an opportunity to blend with the characters and their personalities. also them tails still hit my little nostalgia bones.

#3: Mako Mermaids Merman tails

The addition of mermen was so good and the production fucked up the overall design of the mermen (no upper body fish details? for real? it really bothers me).

this tail wouldn't be so low in the list if it wasn't in the h2o verse. it's clearly the most creative design of the bunch (again getting killed by the lack of structure) but there's an established look to the tails, getting 3 similar designs with a realistic approach and a blue fantasy outlier???, not a fan of the color but I get why it happened, the shape tho????.

poor mako mermaids 😔 the tails don't have the same structural strength and intense detailing as the h2o ones. BUT COMMON ZAC IS THE MAIN CHARACTER (and on s1 the only merman). Mah boi Chai is too strong for these tails😭 look at how it bends at the ankles.

#2 H2O season 3 mermaid tails.

these have the opposite problem. these are so thick lol why do these weight 40 kilos lmao.

these look different from s1, not a problem. they look yellower and lighter in color. the fish detailing is thicker. the tail has glitter in it now?? this simplified design helped me understand the anatomy of the tail, so my art skills owe to this design a lil bit lol, and it looks pretty underwater tbh.

I don't get the change tho, the show has a darker plot, the characters have grown up but the tails have a more kid friendly look??? I don't remember toys of them.

why make a whole new set of tails when the new mermaid got transformed on the opposite side of the world and the other two already had tails

sidenote: these ruined all fan edits that wanted all 4 mermaids together (5 if you include Charlotte) bc they had to edit either Emma or Bella with the other tail and it looked weird and mismatched.

Honorable mention: H2O Season 1 Miriam costume contest tail

this one is so funny, it mocks the practicality of mermaid costumes. it looks opposite of what our "real" mermaids look like. all colorful and shiny and over the top. Also this look gives miriam a good amount of karma thanks to kim lol.

#1 H2O season 1 mermaid tails

LOOK AT THEMMMM. 2006, the start of the gritty realistic aesthetic in TV and movies, and those mermaid tails fit so beautifully in that era. the bright campy 2000s beach fashion + dark "realistic" fantasy is such a *chef kiss* combination.

the tails are designed to look as real as possible, a tail for an animal that big needs muscles, the tails need to look strong enough to push the mermaid and flexible enough to believe the fluke is still a movable body part.

The brown-orange kinda fits into the realistic fish colors plus those naturally occuring in human skin + hair. also the top gives a unified whole bodyness to the transformation 💕

THE TEXTURE, oh god those scales were glued with love istg and that fluke was carved with so much detail and care.

these tails oof they invented mermaids istg any future mermaid media owes them BIG TIME. if it's cgi the tail needs to look strong, integrated into the body, and affect the movement accordingly, if it's practical effect they need to hide them knees and ankles!!, those breaks ruin the illusion of flow and hydrodynamics while swimming ( + recognizing a human body underneath kinda breaks the immersion).

h2o season 4 when 😔😔😔

[dis--parity]

meet the mun!

Name: You can call me Aria!

Star sign: Aquarius sun, Cancer moon, Saggitarius Rising!

Gender: I’m girl

Height: 5 feet, 11 3/4 inches and yes I will be specific about that

Sexual orientation: Pansexual panromantic bay beeeeee

Favorite color: fuckignf purble

Time right now: It’ll have just hit 1 PM when I put those, and then I’m gonna take a nap bc I’m sleeby unu

Current location: TERF Island hellscape England, in a lovely city called Liverpool

Average hours of sleep: ahahahahahahahahahah... uhhh it depends on the day. i normally stay up late and sleep in if i don’t have anything to do the next morning but my work sometimes demands i get up early and i usually chug along on about 6 or 8 hours of sleep in either case

Number of blankets I sleep under: Just one! I haven’t really experimented with more than one but I get hot really easily under a fluffy blanket sooo

Favorite fictional characters: Hmm... at the moment, not counting my own characters or other peoples’ OCs, my top three right now, in no particular order, are Sado from The Hex, Mari from OMORI, and of course my all-time fave, Drizzt Do’urden from R.A. Salvatore’s books

Favorite book: I don’t really read too much any more,,, and I’ve already mentioned my love for R.A. Salvatore’s books so that’s cheating. I’ve been really into this book I bought called To My Trans Sisters, which is a collection of letters to trans women from trans women that’s been really uplifting

Favorite artists/bands: khai dreams, Mother Mother, Muse, Bleachers... call me basic lmao

What I’m wearing: wouldn’t you like to know ;) ... nah at the time of writing this I’m just wearing my PJs

When did you create your blog?: This blog? Uhh... I think it was around the middle / beginning of 2020? My first ever blog was all the way back in 2016 though!

Do you have any other blogs?: Only my incorrect quotes blog and my nsfw sideblog!

What made you decide to get a Tumblr?: I couldn’t tell you. I can tell you all about the story about how the FN.aF fandom got me into the RP scene but I’m not sure what prompted me to move to tumblr since it was so, so long ago. I guess I decided to just do it! Made some friends along the way, most of which are gone now, but... hey ho, I’m here now.

Do you get asks on a daily basis?: Somewhat? I tend to reach out to a lotta people and reblog a fair amount of memes, I just don’t get too much unprompted stuff which sucks. It’s always a pleasant surprise when someone is invested enough in my muses to send little questions, and I really wish it happened more! Now, as for actually answering those asks...... uh, this question is over--!

Why did you choose your URL?: It’s kinda the theme of my story and the muses, at least it was back when it was just Alex, Yeong-Hui and Garis, but it still kinda fits. The whole idea is that their story and experiences are reflective of the way people from totally different backgrounds and with totally different life experiences can find unexpected solace in the little common ground they have with one another, and conversely how people who go through the exact same situations can turn out so, so differently. The prime cases of this are of course with Alex & Garis with what they each went through and how their relationship blossomed, but not it’s extended even further with Theo’s backstory situation, and Souji being a bit of an outlier to the entire thing yet still being everyone’s friend, more or less! That, and I really can’t think of a better URL. I’m not going back to something like hearts-of-coal, but spectrumbound was pretty good... ah, well.

TAGGED BY: @arslivitia​ THANK U LIVI I CARE YOU MWAH MWAH

TAGGING: uhhhhh i don’t wanna clog up anyone’s notifications so if you wanna do this then go ahead!

[adwendoodles]

Finally finished the Doriath crowd (some of them, at least). So the Doriath royal family + Daeron, Beleg, and Mablung!

this is gonna be long... why did i decide to make so many characters. the count is up to 72 now. 72. And I might add others like Oropher and Thranduil and Voronwë if, you know, i I feel like torturing myself

anyway

- i was honestly not going to include daeron, beleg, or mablung and then i realized that 80% of the reason im making this is so my friend, who is constantly lost about the silmarillion (yet valiantly tries to read the fanfics i rec) has a reference and even though these are mostly minor characters i was like... oh well time to draw them. i still quite enjoy the detail that the sindar look a lot like the noldor and most of them have black/brown hair so i gave him that + the typical doriath skin color bc im an idiot and forgot to add more genetic diversity to doriath aljdlkfdslkfds

- why does everyone draw beleg with silver hair????? i realize it might be 90% not caring that silver hair is usually a trait of thingol’s kin or i mean, he might also have silver hair on his own, but if that got described in the silm i completely didnt process it and so now im just so curious. is it canon?? is it fanon??? is it fanon so fanon it might be canon??? pls enlighten me

anyway regardless of the reason im really into silver haired beleg lmao. i went ahead and did it. he’s actually reffed from a real person for once! isn’t this guy just so hot??? i dont think i meant him to be beleg when i pinned the image but when i was trying to figure out how to draw beleg i saw it and i was just like!!!  so i follow my thirsty brain instincts

*disney voice* now all of china knows you can’t ref

- mablung i have like zero mental image for but i finally realized i could like... use more than one skin color for doriath.... ..... ...... so i went ahead and did it. kinda inspired by a google search of his name tbh??? in related news if anyone is up for hearing me gush about dakkun39′s silm art at them for 30 minutes hit me up bc these were some of the first silm fanarts i ever saw and they STAYED WITH ME i LOVE the piece with galariel at the first kinslaying like THAT SHAPED HOW I SAW THAT ENTIRE SCENE and the first time i saw it i had no idea who any of these people were i LOVE IT 100% that’s my entire galadriel look headcanon. im also quite fond of their haleth and all of their maedhros pieces are amazing as well

*cough* moving on

- i’ve done thingol melian and luthien so moving onto beren... uhhh idk about beren im always torn between ‘scruffy forest man hasn’t bathed in a decade’ and ‘handsome rugged dude’ and i landed far away from both but im okay with this?? the real question is why he’s blond. normally i picture him with dark hair?? i think i should blame the internet for telling me his hair in canon is blond cuz i... do... try and respect canon... usually.....

- i really love this one hc that dior the fair looks like beren hahaha. he looks enough like luthien that ppl can praise the resemblance, but truthfully he much more closely resembles Young Handsome Lordling Beren. i feel like i messed up his eyes but i’ll... fix that in post production

- nimloth!!! another person i have no headcanon for except “dark hair question mark” i used the opportunity to try and draw a cool headdress i saw on pinterest... with dubious results.... also curious that she wears a crown/headdress and dior doesn’t...

- elured and elurin!!! i had to draw them as kids for obvious reasons :’c they’re wearing simple child clothing i guess, and have silver hair bc they’re elu’s heirs so im guessing that to ear that title when they’re like, 6, they must resemble great grandpa a bit (also im quite fond of the silver haired elu twins hc)

- conversely, elwing resembles melian! not actually a headcanon i had but it really worked here???? also i like that out of all of melian’s descendents besides luthien (who is always an outlier and should not be counted), elwing is the one that actually uses maia-adjacent powers (i do like the idea that the power to transform was somewhere inside of her, and ulmo helped bring it out. im not sure a normal elf would survive literally turning into a bird).

i actually drew like, 4 different versions of elwing. there’s child elwing, adult elwing with nauglimir, bird elwing, and adult elwing without nauglimir

in related news, i now need to draw earendil with the silmaril forehead lamp to make everything consistent

- the one thing i’ve learned from this is that even with refs i cant draw kids ahahahah... something to practice on i guess

- also in case anyone was curious ive now finished 57 characters. the only remaining elves that are currently on the list (aka: the house of finwe. tho knowing me im prooobably gonna add voronwe... *sigh*) are gil-galad, gwindor (boyfriends and spouses count as part of the house, right? of course they do thats why i drew them), arwen, elladan and ellohir (mostly bc im still debating whether to give them the noldor background color or the sindar bg color), and glorfindel and echtelion who are not part of the house of finwe (tho they might be depending on the headcanon) but are relevant enough imma draw them anyway. the remaining rest are humans (me, biased?? nooooo)

[ambitionsource]

Any Asher Lucas head canons I really love their friendship?

hello anon i am back as promised with the second half of answers to the lucasher asks i got a handful of weeks ago!! seeing as its the tail end of asher’s appreciation day, i am here to deliver on discussing their friendship

so to start, i would say that marking dylan as an outlier and not to be counted (especially on asher’s end), both of them would without a doubt call the other their best friend. asher flexes a bit on this, as jade is also arguably his bestie, but for lucas there’s absolutely no contest. asher is his best friend -- he even said so in 209, which took a lot of emotional vulnerability for him to manage to verbalize -- and that title really means something to him.

to that point, though, i think it took the events of s2 for that to really cement. as we know, lucas has issues with connecting with + trusting others, and so he kind of keeps people at arm’s length. i think asher has always been a bit of an exception to this rule (which i’ll explain in a bit), but lucas was mentally able to still keep him removed emotionally in his mind bc he was like... you know, his inferior in rank / his lieutenant rather than an equal. i don’t mean that he like thought of asher as inferior, because he doesn’t -- lucas hates himself so he thinks everyone is better than him anyway lmao, but he’s also had a lot of respect for asher -- but there was able to be this... mental barrier in his head, if that makes sense. but when asher finally stood up to him, multiple times (in 207 with their argument and then in 208 when he Truly put his foot down and basically walked out of his life), that put them on equal footing on all levels and broke that barrier in his brain. and, thusly, is part of the reason lucas was suddenly able to articulate it in the following ep

but, on that note, one thing that i think makes them such good friends is that they’re both very like... not mushy. at least, not with each other. they both don’t mind side-stepping more complicated emotions and just assuming things are unspoken but understood, but are getting better at knowing the moments where something should be said

but they’re like equally weird about the same stuff, like they both don’t like birthdays + being paid attention to on their bday bc they don’t know how to process it (sans the exception of dylan, who of course asher will allow to be extra on his birthday), so they will straight up just like not tell each other happy birthday on their bdays and people are like doesn’t that upset you?? did he forget?? and they’re like no actually lucas / asher is my favorite person bc he ignores my birthday fDSJLFKGSJKGLJSGL like... they’re so fucking weird

asher is constantly trying to improve lucas’s fashion sense + design sensibility and it does not work. like nothing sticks. asher will spend an hour casually (but actually very intently) telling lucas about the nuances in color between shades and then later when he asks him a question about which shade of red they should use in the set design lucas goes “idk they look the same to me just pick one” and asher is like. bitch ur jokin... it’s lowkey funny that he keeps trying tho like lmao

so in terms of asher being slightly different than others even early on, the way this most manifests is that i think for whatever reason, asher feels safe to lucas. its an inexplicable thing, and something i dont think lucas even really realizes consciously. but he starts their friendship being like oh i’m gonna protect asher the strong must protect the sweet this lame nerd needs me, but then what it actually ends up being is more that lucas needed asher. like yes he gets asher to loosen up and let out more of his authentic self, but asher gave lucas a friendship to anchor to, someone who seemed to genuinely like him not because he was reckless or cool but just because of who he is. and even when he fucked up, asher still seemed to believe he could be better / saw him as more than that, and lucas had never had anyone in his life before like that, let alone someone where it felt that way (i.e. dylan also sees lucas that way especially now, but something about asher just made it so pointedly clear)

and how this ends up changing things is that lucas finds that like... he wants to talk to asher. he wants to be real with him, not put up the defensive, aloof façade. so you have lucas going to convince him to sneak out freshman and sophomore year so they could hang out just the two of them (a thing featured briefly in the “younger” sequence in 208), and those were the moments where he got in those conversations. and asher liked those nights too because they made him feel special, like all the people lucas could choose to hang out with and he chose him to bother and coax out into the night... for a kid like asher, younger than everyone else and an anxious mess and nerdy and he knows it, that’s like. the craziest thing ever. so those one-on-one hangouts meant a lot to both of them, though for different reasons

what’s nice too is that their friendship definitely matured and grew with them the longer it lasted, because there was an element of hero worship on asher’s end and almost belittling underestimation on lucas’s end when their dynamic started, but then it grew organically past that. and when they actually got to know one another, for all their complexities, it made them better friends. and now those misconceptions are long gone, but they still hold a lot of respect for one another.

also to this point, i do not remember if i’ve said this yet on the blog or not but so major point here -- asher was actually lucas’s first (and only, pre-riley) crush. being demisexual, he has to form a deep emotional connection with someone before he really falls for them (riley being semi the exception to this because even though he didn’t really fall for her until they became friends from the get-go he was like okay so she pretty....... whatever tho idc like uh huh sure lucas). and like late in freshman year, maybe even early that summer, lucas and asher had become pretty good friends and were spending a lot of nights hanging out together and talking, and one of those nights they were talking about something semi-serious, and lucas was just looking at him and just realized like wow hm i could kiss asher... and then he was like WAIT HUH?!?!?!?!?!?! cause he’d NEVER had thoughts like that before and suddenly he was having them about his best friend, and that best friend was dating his other good friend and it just FREAKED him out he was like HELLO BAD WEIRD WRONG??? so he stifled that deep down and lowkey ignored asher for like two weeks until it passed -- which of course made asher worried he did something wrong or pissed him off, but thankfully that passed without much commentary or further discussion. lucas has mostly forgotten about it now.

that being said, if you ever told asher he was lucas’s first crush, he would never ever believe you.

they really enjoy discussing / debating each other, especially since lucas is truly equally as clever as asher, but it’s a really careful line because one wrong comment from either of them can send them tipping into actual argument bc they’re also very good at pushing each other’s buttons. this is why dylan’s presence is extremely helpful at keeping them balanced.

and this is kind of a key trait to their best friendship, which is that they make awesome best friends, but my god they would make TERRIBLE romantic partners. they cannot communicate when it really matters (especially about stuff that makes them embarrassed like romance, which they can barely do with their actual partners); they push each other’s buttons; they love each other’s flaws as friends but would drive each other crazy as lovers. like the people they’re with for love are exactly the people they need, understanding, soft, patient, and good at communicating. if lucas and asher dated, they would kill each other within the first week.

one of the first times dylan, asher, and lucas really hung out as a trio involved “wilding” asher, which meant dressing him like lucas and getting him to be more reckless and freewheeling for an afternoon. they didn’t do anything crazy, but lucas let asher borrow one of his t-shirts and snapbacks for the occasion. asher still has both buried in his closet, mainly because he keeps forgetting about it but also because there’s a sentimentality to them. not that he would ever ever wear them again -- yuck. asher would rather vomit

it should not be understated that the first people lucas verbally said i love you to were asher and dylan. it’s important. don’t ever forget it.

-- Maggie

[fallintosanity]

Since it's pride month, can I ask you what your headcanons are for everyones orientation in Providence? It's not something I can really see coming up in-story, but I'm curious nonetheless. :3

Hoo boy, anon, my answer to this is probably a lot more complex and in-depth than you were expecting, so BUCKLE UP Y’ALL LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION IN SOLDIER

(Note: I’m only going to talk about the original Compilation material for this, since that’s what TFA was written from and that’s what I’m writing Providence from.

Also all of my headcanons are colored by the fact that I am hella aro/ace myself so all flavors of allo are ??? to me)  

First off, major credit to @ageofzero​, who got me started down this headcanon path. The short version of their original headcanon is that SOLDIERs lose their sex drives due to the mako treatments, Jenova cells, and intense physical training regimen. After all, mako poisoning is a known Thing, and Jenova is a bizarre alien with no known gender (the original Japanese game never refers to her with any gender, and it’s strongly implied that her commonly-known feminine form is a shape she adopted to get close to the Cetra. Sephiroth only calls her “Mother” because Hojo lied to him that Jenova was his mother). 

I find this idea fascinating, and think it makes a lot of sense. Of the SOLDIERs we meet, only Zack seems to have any interest in forming romantic bonds with anyone, and even his relationship with Aerith is remarkably chaste. It’s impossible to know whether this is due to an actual intent to depict a chaste romantic relationship, needing to keep the games at a family-friendly rating, cultural differences between Japan and America in terms of how romantic and sexual affection are shown (especially in the 90s), the limitations of the game engine in terms of having the characters physically interact, or some combination of the above, but the result is that the canon we are shown does not include anything approaching a sexual relationship between two characters.*

Given all that, and given the unsettling implications you find if you so much as scratch the surface of ShinRa’s human experimentation**, I think it’s eminently reasonable to believe that however they might have started life, SOLDIERs no longer have sex drives or sexual desire. Which is all an incredibly long-winded way of saying, I headcanon all the SOLDIERs as some flavor of asexual: 

Sephiroth: Extremely aro/ace. I’ve talked before about how I think he sees people and relationships differently than humans do, and that extends to romance and sex. I’m not even sure “aro/ace” is the right label for him under those circumstances, but it’s close enough. 

Genesis: Ace, bi- or homoromantic. TFA and its non-canon side pieces suggest Genesis is romantically interested in Cloud (which I’ve been carrying into Providence), and we have no idea if he’s ever been romantically interested in anyone else. 

Angeal: Ace, probably either aro or heteroromantic. Like Genesis, we never see him express romantic interest in anyone, but it’s possible he does off-screen. 

Zack: Probably would have been bi or poly if he wasn’t in SOLDIER; as is, ace and bi- or poly-romantic. (but really only has eyes for Aerith) 

Kunsel: Ace, maybe demi-romantic? He’s eighteen in Providence and has been focused on rising through the SOLDIER ranks; I don’t think he himself knows for sure. 

Cloud: A bit of an outlier because I headcanon that he would have been aro/ace even if he hadn’t gotten the mako/Jenova treatments. At no point in any of the original game or greater Compilation does he express romantic or sexual interest in anyone. He cares deeply about Aerith and Tifa both, but at no point says or does anything to suggest that it’s romantic or sexual in nature. Tifa occasionally says things which imply she sees her relationship with Cloud that way, but he never responds in kind. At best, his childhood interest in her could be a bit of a puppy crush, but that doesn’t rule out aro/ace Cloud since so many aro/aces do experience puppy crushes or squishes that aren’t sexual/romantic in nature. Or it could be as simple as, Tifa was the popular kid and Cloud was the outcast kid, and he was interested in her because if she was friends with him, then maybe he wouldn’t be an outcast anymore. (I lied, I’m going to talk about the Remake for a second because I’m intrigued that it appears to have doubled down hard on ace!Cloud, to the point where a lot of people have said “I don’t normally have ace headcanons, but Remake!Cloud is ace”. He’s either completely oblivious to, or visibly uncomfortable with, half the cast wanting to get into his pants. Even when Aerith warns him not to fall in love with her, his objection is to her telling him what to do yet again rather than anything about his actual feelings.) 

Noctis: I realized as I was writing this post that I also headcanon Noctis as ace and probably aro- or demi-romantic. Like Cloud, we never see him express romantic or sexual interest toward anyone, which is notable given that he’s supposed to be marrying Lunafreya. He certainly seems to care deeply about her, but - like Cloud and Tifa/Aerith - his affection can be easily read as a close childhood friendship, and depending on which answers you give in the notebook choices, can canonically be brusque and uninterested. He’s also visibly uncomfortable with Gladio’s flirting (with other people) and Iris’s flirting (with Noct himself). Since we do see Gladio flirting, pretty brazenly sometimes, and we hear Prompto chatter about his crush on Cindy, Noct’s silence on the matter is telling. (He also throws an interesting wrench into the works around the SOLDIER castration headcanon, since he did get the treatments but they affected him very differently than everyone else. But I can’t say too much else there without venturing into spoiler territory.) 

So anyway hi, my name is Sanity and I have a lot of ace headcanons. ^_^;

* The closest we get is the scene near the end of the original game, with Cloud and Tifa under the Highwind before the final battle. The scene itself is, again, remarkably chaste. Depending on your Affection value with Tifa, it’s not even all that romantic; it reads mostly like two friends who have been through a lot together. The few lines that do shade toward romance all come from Tifa herself, not Cloud. Also, what Tifa says the next morning on the Highwind changes depending on whether or not your Affection value is high enough; if yes, she asks the others, “Were you watching?” and if no, she asks, “Were you listening?”. So it’s possible to get a canon path which suggests Tifa and Cloud did something she didn’t want the others watching, but 1) that still leaves a lot of room for interpretation, and 2) it’s equally possible to get a canon path which suggests nothing happened at all.

** I’m just going to quote @ageofzero​ here because they put it best: “It might've been an unintended side-effect, of course, but idk how anyone could've thought 'let's put Mako inside human beings' when everyone knows what a powerful burning energy source Mako is and what the hell that might do inside a human when people have likely already suffered Mako poisoning from building Midgar/the reactors. And also considering that Mako is a 'refining' of Lifestream that basically strips away all the benefits of Life within it, there's no way it's not some kind of reproduction dampening substance, among many other negative consequences. [...] ESPECIALLY since a lot of SOLDIERs probably start out in their teen years (Zack, and Cloud's attempt). They're still developing humans, and who knows what effects Mako has on someone who's still passing through adolescence???? Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth are all even worse off because they were babies when they were made prototype experiments for the SOLDIER method. [...] I can't imagine mako doing anything but turning the body into a weird toxic mess even if it is controlled and regulated so they don't suffer the loss of their mind. And what the hell does it do to SOLDIERs on a DNA level?? With how much mako (and Jenova cells) there is in their body, it could turn body fluids into burning/glowing/toxic substances. All body fluids. Or at the very least make it Not Good to be exposed to said fluids, if they're not directly toxic/mako-infused. It might very well be the brain turning off reproductive desires bc SOLDIERs are a biological dead end by the time they're strong enough to be considered SOLDIER. What a chilling concept (also hello I like thinking about weird biology).”

[cinematicnomad]

4, 6, 10, 14?

004. do you outline before you start writing? if so, how far do you stray from that outline? do i!! sometimes. lol, it’s not typical of me? i’ve gotten into it a little more in recent years. honestly, i wish i could just show you guys my outline for taste your beating heart. it’s a fucking monster. the first 1.5 pages is basically the very early broad original draft and then it dives into a chapter-by-chapter outline and continues on for...another 63 pages (which is now almost all in red bc every time i finished a chapter i’d change the font color). and it’s pretty detailed! like entire dialogue sections are in there or descriptions i think of or a vague idea of someone’s emotion or background research for the magic stuff. i definitely can stray from an outline. but i’ll usually then go back and rework the outline itself lol! like originally the TYBH outline was planned for 18 chapters, and i eventually realized i needed to change a plot point which wound up adding a whole extra chapter to the fic. 

but honestly for the majority of my fics i do not use outlines. mainly bc for the most part i tend to punch out my fics in one or two sittings and don’t really need an outline (unlike TYBH which, again, took me seven years to write). at most i might jot down some minor outline-ish ideas for the rest of the fic so i don’t forget things, but that’s pretty much it. 

006. if you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day? i mean, i pounded out like 13k+ in about 30 hours when i wrote the first draft of so show me (family). and i mean, not in one day, but i churned out like 43k+ in the month of october when i was finally wrapping up taste your beating heart (which YOU know because you edited it all for me <333). i wrote 17k+ in less than 24 hours when i was writing the last 2 chapters (according to my notes on that post i did nothing that day, not even really eat, just sat in my room and wrote). 

010. do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most? dialogue! exposition kind of? plot not so much lol. so like, dialogue comes pretty easily for me—maybe it’s my lifetime of dreaming imagined conversations but i can often hear my characters speaking to each other when i’m working through a scene. exposition i enjoy...not in the sense of like, conveying necessary information for plots sake, but like...those meandering, wandering thoughts where the character is thinking back on their life or having quiet regrets or yearning. love to write that kind of stuff. 

plot is hard for me, it’s why a lot of my fics are much more ‘this person has FEELINGS and they THINK ABOUT THEM and FEEL THINGS and sometimes there’s a conversation and a kiss! tada!’  once again taste your beating heart is a serious outlier. 

014. if you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick? already answered :)

behind the scenes of fic writing: 30 questions for authors