Tumgik
#Because im not a professional at this shit yet
bloobyposting · 10 months
Text
Can we ACTUALLY talk about "gendered socialisation" with some nuance pls
Every time i see someone pretending that 'amab folks will never transition because they're always gonna be raised male' i make another person trans
Every time i see someone pretending that 'gendered socialisation literally doesn't exist/i am immune to gendered socialisation because im just a silly little transgender' i make that person cis again
Socialisation divvied up on gendered lines exists. It's a real strong, oppressive, arbitrary force that was invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms. You are not immune to it either, you absolutely grew up with it and you're not going to lose it by accident once you find out you're a woman now. It's probably happening to you as I speak, in fact it might be in the room with you right now, and you wouldn't even know it. And some of the ways it presents will often be cut from the same cloth as toxic masculinity, and that's on you to unlearn. Call it what you want, but it came to you because you were raised to be a certain way according to the gendered expectations of your parents.
On the other hand, it's not innate. TERFs keep using that shit to push their own fascistic worldview. Gender, like biological sex, is completely malleable given time. If you hormone wash your body with estrogen, progesterone and antiandrogens, you become biologically female, your ovaries just come in a little plastic container that you get through a shady website online through legally sourced methods and a doctor's note. In the same way, you surround yourself with a bunch of women who love and appreciate you, who uplift you through your gender identity and treat you as one of their own, and you do exactly the same with and for them, your socialisation as 'masculine' will be withered away and you'll literally see your personality change in front of your eyes. It's literally so beautiful to be in a room as the person you are and have become and then realise that they see you as that person.
But, it takes a lot of work. It's bendy, and it's malleable, but it's not fully fluid. not yet at least You can't just manifestrogen HRT into your veins, you can't just will your own gender presentation into existence flawlessly without doing the busywork that comes with becoming a different person completely. It's a skill, one that takes dedication and effort to become better at.
5 notes · View notes
lilowoof · 22 days
Text
ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
5 notes · View notes
lith-myathar · 1 month
Text
.
#i told my roommate's psychologist father about how my therapist broke up with me via text without providing referrals#and he says that was really poor treatment and is called ''abandonment'' in the field and my response was ''it's fine im used to it''#so um. IM FINE LATELY. apparently. i have an appt with a prospective new therapist next week lmao#like her communication with me had totally fallen off as well and im screaming about it internally a little bc like#i knew this was not kosher but i was blaming myself for having slow progress#which like. no shit i was having alow progress she was cancelling on me every other week.#but oh no said my inner voice no she doesn't want to keep treating you because you're stuck. it's a you problem#like i understand that she was Going Through It but like she's the professional in this situation#i have sympathy but i also feel really hard done by#she basically ghosted me#and im just frog in a slow boiling pot (yes i know that's not real) every time im in a less than ideal situation where i should stand up#for myself bc im so ready to blame myself for the way im being treated and so afraid of retaliation if i speak up that it just happens to m#and i don't even know it until it's done with#and someone else points it out. or like i know it but i haven't allowed myself to be conscious of it yet.#it just makes me so mad that im like this bc what it means is that i tried so many times growing up to voice#things that were not okay with me and i was shut down so often and so dismissively that eventually i just#decided everything was my fault and became passive so i couldn't mess anything up
4 notes · View notes
boomerang109 · 1 year
Text
being trans is so hard and confusing but sometimes you get called the right name and the right pronoun and it feels so right and sometimes it’s by a group of guys discussing how they’re old enough to remember when TV’s had dials that switched to one of three channels, and they’re still respecting your pronouns and maybe you can be okay
#I’ve been having a crisis cause basically if you say my irl name is boomerang#I’ve been going by just boom more#and these theatre posters came out and they had the directors name and my name on them#no other names—not even the other professor who led the other class#and that poster said boomerang cause that’s my full name that’s normal#but it just looked WRONG which I’ve never felt before (like even tho I primarily go by boom now I still sign all my emails boomerang.#so it’s not like it’s a deadname or anything. it’s literally just a nickname that happens to feel more gender) but since boom felt better I#asked them to put boom in the program and they did!!#and sometimes I look at it and go 🥰that looks right#and sometimes I look at it and go 😡that looks unprofessional you should’ve kept HOLY SHIT I ALMOST TYPED MY NAME WHOOPS you should’ve kept#boomerang cause that’s what people with nicknames do and it’s more professional bla bla bla#but like#potentially I want to not use it so much as a nickname but a name name#because of gender#but idk yet#boom is significantly less formal of a name and does have the connotations of a nickname unfortunately#but that’s also why I think it feels so fun to be called it#cause they say boom and I’m like 😁me whereas they say boomerang and I’m like 🫣why so serious#anyway i hope this made sense im not actually talking about boom versus boomerang I just didn’t want to use my irl name lol#OH BUT THE POINT OF THE POST WAS REGARDLESS OF MY NAME IRL I GET CALLED BOOM AND TWO PROFESSORS AND A PROFESSOR’S HUSBAND WERE IN THIS MANLY#CIRCLE AND I JUST JOINED AND WAS IN THE CONVERSATION AND I DEFINITELY WAS AWKWARD BUT IDK I FELT APPRECIATED ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS GENDERED#boom blogs high#i still want to take a bath or at least change into comfy clothes and just haven’t moved whoops#it’s cold and my blanket is warm
7 notes · View notes
spaceradars · 1 year
Text
why do i feel so weird lately oh my god.
1 note · View note
aspxnvii · 1 year
Text
i start my first career job on Wednesday and I'm on the verge of vomiting
0 notes
alwaysshallow · 1 year
Note
Just saw ur post w a higher rank reader and im in love!
Imagine getting to work with a higher rank/colonel reader who doesn’t bark out order and is always calm, friendly, yet professional.
Treats everyone on the team like an actual person and is very understanding. They get everything done on time or EARLY (like a 3 week mission took only 1 week) with zero backtracks.
Bonus if reader gives everyone a “break time” even if its in war zone lmao. But some how everything works out and ppl are working w max efficiency and min casualty.
“Team bravo pls retreat to point B and switch places w team delta and take ur 40 min brk pls ty ty💞🫰”
Ghost hearing it 1st time on the radio: “ESCUSE ME!!?! WOT!!???🤯”
!!!! years of experience told reader that nothing does better than good environment and she's more than determined to make her people not only efficient, but she's kinda like price? like, you know you can trust her and tell her shit you probably shouldn't, but her lips are sealed.
she also has many friends considering her years spent in military, so maybe it is easier to end missions on time/early, bc of her connections and being a manipulative bitch she can be if she wants something.
break time maybe not 40 minutes but like. 15-20, reader saying that they're supposed to take break, check their guns, check if there's anything they need before they will continue pushing forward. it's not because she's friendly, it's because she likes to work alone and check if there's any more danger than she already saw.
ghost is absolutely flabbergasted LMAOOOO and doesn't believe in shit like this so he follows up after reader. "tough time? we should take east route. we can move by the river" he'd say, seeing her in deep thought.
"i told you to take a break. it's disobedience to your colonel" she'd look at him, almost rolling her eyes
"it's not really a break, when you're thinking for all of us" and he gives her the look. "we're a team"
reader has a lot going on her mind and simon is the one to actually notice that between her playful nature and being all bubbly almost all the time. their bond grows stronger after this situation imo
1K notes · View notes
gremlingottoosilly · 10 months
Note
Now, imagine Price and Konig pinning after same girl...
Im barking and slowly become inhuman
You never expected your life on the base to become...that. The place is a fucking mine field with every step meaning not a certain death, but a loss of any agency, probably your anal virginity, and also all that is left of your dignity. If you're paying too much attention to the Brit SAS group, you're getting a bunch of angry mercenaries on your tail, not very happy about their colonel throwing jelaous fits and training the shit out of them on every mission. If you're giving too much of your time to the said mercenary colonel and his freaks, then suddenly, you have a very angry skull-wearing guard dog on your tail, brooming over you disappointing his captain. You just wanted to work, literally!! Your only job is to make sure that the truce between KorTac and SpecGru is going as intended and yet, your mere presence is making them extremely rival and competitive with each other( eventually, you had to think of less conventional ways of negotiations...this is exactly how you ended up on your knees, your fave smeared with cum, two big, burly commanders bullying you for being so slutty, needy and pretty for them((( You feel so dumb next to them, they finally joined forces just to make sure you're their pretty doll, and you can't even say anything because you need them to work together. You allow Price to drag you into his office, blowing smoke in your face and making you drink with him, only laughing softly when your head became too dizzy and you allowed him to gently slide his hand into your soaked panties( you're desperately trying to be professional, but you were already fucked today by Konig in his quarters, and Captain now wants to replace colonel's cum with his - as a matter of rebellion, nothing more. Konig is so angry every time you return from Price - he is counting every foreign hickey, leaving even more bruises and marks on your body, bullying your already exhausted holes because he can't accept some mere captain to fuck his girl better than him!!
814 notes · View notes
gamblersdoll · 2 months
Note
Is it possible for you to write an ex bf sukuna fic where he shows up at psychiatrist y/ns office, as a patient, to win her back after months of her not reaching back to him 😭
This could end up being fluff or smut wtv u prefer 😛
ogey! toxic! sukuna semi nsfw
oh my fucking god, dude.
you would think that because he is the one who broke of the relationship, sukuna would just leave you the fuck alone..
nope! instead of that, he just texts you when you leave him on read, an obvious sign that hes bothered by the fact that you dont reach to him anymore. he lived for it, it was pathetic for both of you.
merely pathetic of him, moreover.
you had more important things to worry about, like your patients at the hospital that were worried about their own health and needs.
“okay, how are we doing —“ you were looking at your little pretty notepad, thinking that you were attending to the same old man who dealt with hallucinations and voices, but no..
its your delusional ex boyfriend, sukuna.
“im doing better now, doc.” he grumbles, a shit eating grin and he crosses his legs. “why dont you respond anymore? aren’t psychiatrists supposed to do that?”
you could punch him.
literally. like, you could punch the fuck out of him.. and unfortunately, he would like that.
“to patients, not to ex flings. you grunt, turning your back to him to reorganize your desk. you feel a pair of hands on your hips, breathing on your neck.
had you both stayed together, you would be soaked.
“and to me, because im a patient now.” he chuckles, sitting back down and expecting a professional smile. “well, arent you going to help me, doc?” it wasnt really a question, more of a snide.
it takes everything to not break him.
“ohkay, ryomen.” you address, he hated when you called him by that. “what’s been going on? any new medication youve been taking.”
he sucks his teeth, rolling his eyes. “well, i have this asshole of an ex girlfriend.” he starts, noticing a vein popping out of your neck. “but, cant get mad.. had the best pussy ive had in years.”
how poetic.
“hmm, okay, and how does that make you feel?” you coo, seeing three veins pop from his knuckles. seems like he could lose this game he started.
“it pisses me off,” he starts. tapping his foot, he stares into you. “she acts as if she can win this little ‘ill have him crawling’ game. yet, shes using her pussy as some pawn.”
now that confused you, but, if he says so.
“has it made you feel.. down? blue?”
“the fuck are you asking me?” he growls, a eye twitch and his fist balls up. you hold back a chuckle, professional, professional.
“have you been having suicidal thoughts, ryomen?” you mask your voice with that customer service voice, knowing damn well it pisses him off so bad.
“no, i havent had— fuck you!”
“ryomen, why are we angry?” you press again, eyes lowering to his and a small smile.
youre fucking with him, he knows that. he knows that you are toying with him, he knows that. why does it make him angry? he used to do the–
fuck, he taught you that shit.
“fuck you, ill have you lose your job.” he growled.
“for what? being too nice? for good customer service?” you chuckle, “ryomen, is there someone i should call to come retrieve you?” you suggest, “any nephews? brothers?”
oh, you fucking bitch.
“we aint done.” he says, storming out and slamming the office building door. you chuckle, immediately looking at your phone to see the missed calls and texts from him.
you pussywhipped fucker, sukuna.
191 notes · View notes
sapphsorrows · 9 months
Text
"people only pick on trans people because they're easy targets" yeah no shit they're easy targets just like flat earthers and antivaxxers. what they believe is absolutely fucking insane when you think about it for more than 2 seconds.
the idea of trans is no different from the idea of predestination.
predestination says only those who have been chosen by god will be saved and will go to heaven. how do you know you're predestined? there is literally no way to tell externally. there is no test you take to make sure you're predestined. you just have to put your faith in jesus and know, internally, in your heart, or whatever. funny how literally everyone who believes this also happens to be one of the ~chosen ones~.
the idea of being trans is that some people are born in the wrong body. how do you know you're born in the wrong body? there is literally no external way to tell, aside from maybe a few "am I trans?" quizlets (which as we all know are 100% accurate always and only made by professionals and not 12 year old furries). you just look inside, or whatever, and somehow "know" or you decide for yourself. then, based on your own self-reporting, which you have no way to externally verify, you expect people to bend to your will and you expect society to give you special privileges that no one else gets. no other man gets to pee in the ladies' or compete in women's sports but once you self-id as trans? well, right this way "ma'am", pay no mind to the women cowering in fear of you. their rights don't matter nearly as much as your feelings. funny how damn near everyone who believes in this also happens to be trans themselves, will a few outliers.
even "gender critical" transes like mr. blaire white and ms. buck angel will talk in hours upon hours of videos about the importance of gatekeeping and protecting women's spaces, yet /they/ demand the exact same privileges as every other "fake" (in their words) trans person on tiktok. do you seriously think "fake" trans people are going to listen to you and suddenly not go into the women's? No! are you fucking kidding me? it's so much easier to tell a buck or a blaire to fuck off than it is to a delusional fetishist who will 100% either hurt you or make a scene. there is no "true trans" because EVERYONE claims to be truly trans, everyone from bruce jenner to the "IT IS MA'AM" gamestop dude.
it fucking baffles me how youtube skeptics - people i used to admire, people who taught me how to think critically about shit - will spend all damn day dunking on flat earthers and creationists but will turn a blind eye to the trans cray and will even go as far as to support them. they think they're so above it all and they can't be fooled, but they have been, and I keep waiting for them to snap out of it - just like I waited for my own family to snap out of christianity - but they haven't.
if you seriously think a dress and some hormones and plastic surgery will make a man into a woman, you're insane, and you're no more crazy than a youtuber who thinks antarctica is an ice wall or a pastor who still prays to his "sky daddy". you have no right to make fun of these people for the insane shit they believe when you believe in this nonsense. you are quite literally the pot calling the kettle black.
and if you're one of those people who's like "oh well i know they're not actually women i just call them that to avoid hurting their feelings" im sorry but you're still in this cult, you're physically in but mentally out and the only way to really get out is to call a spade a spade, admit the emperor has no clothes, admit you were fooled just like me - just like all of us - and speak out against it.
524 notes · View notes
carmenberzattosgf · 8 months
Note
u know what i think about ALL THE TIME… carmy being like, REALLY pissed off and truly at the end of his rope while you’re one of his staff members. you guys have been friends for a while with some simmering tension building between you two, but it’s never been fully explored.
the two of you have been fighting all day and it reaches a boiling point where he all but drags you outside (presumably to scream at you some more), but INSTEAD he grabs the back of your neck and bends you over face-first onto some empty pallets behind the restaurant. “you don’t want this, then get up and walk away.” and you’d be mouth open gasping, but STAYING THERE cuz you’re tryna see what happens. after a beat of silence, he pulls your pants down and roughly fucks you right then and there. he’d still be angry, with some terse kind of “you still want to keep running your fucking mouth?” punctuated by sharp, deep thrusts that make you clench your teeth together to avoid screaming 😍🤸 and you’d have to walk back inside on shaking legs a few minutes later trying to pretend that carmy’s cum isn’t dripping down your thighs💕💕
anyway that’s all JDHSKDJSKSK
ANON????? OH MY GOD?????? IM FREAKING OUT OVER THIS??? Like you just put a whole blurb in my ask box I am so honored and flattered???? Expansion on this under the cut!!
Dude dude dude. Yes. So you’ve been working at the bear for a few months now. It’s been months of built up tension between you and Carmy. Carmy knows, and you know it’s more than just a simple friendship between the two of you.
Carmy tries to keep it professional. He really tries. But, his attempts make him more cold and blunt towards you, which culminates in the big fight. It’s over something stupid really, but he gets so fucking pissed because it’s been one thing after another this day. He flips out over you not having a “properly cleaned station”.
“Chef. How many fucking times do I have to tell you to clean up your goddamn station? Look at this shit. It’s a mess.” He yells, pointing to your station.
“Are you being serious right now? I’m in the middle of fucking prep. How the hell am I suppose to keep it clean during prep when I haven’t finished yet-“
Carmen cuts you off in the middle of your sentence. “Syd! Take over y/n’s prep.”
“What the fuck, Carmen?” He doesn’t answer your question, instead he pulls you out of the kitchen by your wrist. Once he gets you out the back door of the restaurant, you expect some kind of explanation for his behavior. “What? Couldn’t yell at me for no reason in front of everyone else?”
Carmy is on you in an instant. His strong hand engulfs the back of your neck, leading you to a stack of empty pallets before bending you over it. He stands behind you, hand still on the back of your neck, but not holding you down anymore. Your mind races, but one thing is clear. Carmy’s hard dick is pressing your ass.
“If you don’t want this, get up and walk away and we’ll pretend this never happened.” He leans down to whisper in your ear. Carmy’s voice is rough, full of desire. Your breathing picks up, but you don’t dare move. Instead, you whine when he rolls his hips against your ass. “Fucking knew you would want me like this. Such a fucking slut aren’t you?”
Carmy wastes no time to pull down your pants and underwear all in one go. You bite your lip, trying not to moan when his fingers run through your folds. “So nasty to be this wet in an alleyway for me where anyone can see.” You should be humiliated. Your boss has you bent over for him in an alleyway, but all you can do is beg for more.
“Please. Please please please.” You cry out, not even quite sure what you’re asking for. You hear the sound of him undoing his belt, and his cock enters you with no warning. He doesn’t go slow, filling you up to the hilt in one quick thrust. You cry out in surprise; he’s bigger than anyone you’ve ever had before. He starts fucking into you a second later, setting a quick pace with his hands digging into your hips. Your fingers dig into the pallets in front of you, desperate to find something to hold onto.
“Fuck- maybe this will teach you to stop running that mouth of yours and listen to me.” He practically moans out, thrusting deep and hard into you. “You need to learn to behave.”
“S-sorry chef. I’ll d-do better.” You feel his movements falter at the title, before he picks back up the pace, hitting even deeper inside of you. You’re already seeing stars, nearing your climax. “C-chef, please I’m so close.”
“Yeah? Going to come for your boss in a filthy alleyway?” One of his hands leaves your hip to touch your clit, rubbing fast circles with his callused fingers. “Go on then. Come around my cock like the slut you are.” He was losing himself too. His voice is rough and thin as he speaks.
It only takes a few more seconds before you come, biting into your hand so you don’t scream. Carmy’s pace falters before you feel him spill into you with a muffled groan.
He pulls out of you promptly without a word, stepping back to put back on his own pants. You stay in the same position, trying to catch your breath.
“Be back at your station in five minutes” Carmen says, walking back into the restaurant. You quickly pull up your pants, trying to ignore the feeling of his cum slowly dripping out of you. You don’t have any spare pants in your locker. You’re going to have to work through the rest of your shift with his cum running out of you and down your thighs.
You swallow your pride and go back inside to your station. Everyone else thinks Carmy just scolded you outside of the restaurant, so no one says a word when you return, taking back over your prep from Sydney.
Yeah let’s just say that’s not the last time Carmen fucks you in the middle of a shift. I’m thinking a nice fuck buddies relationship forms after this hehe.
375 notes · View notes
disruptivevoib · 6 months
Text
Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such
Something I find important about CCCC is like.
The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.
Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.
Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.
Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.
Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.
Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.
The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.
And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:
1. isnt possible
And
2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.
Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).
Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"
His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.
But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.
The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.
242 notes · View notes
kaceythecrunch · 7 months
Text
RANT. (sturntok.)
Yall. Im so mad. Sturntok pisses me the fuck off to the point it isn't even funny anymore. This might be messy, so bare with me.
Tara. Why the fuck is everyone pressed about Tara hanging out with the triplet, specifically matt and Chris. Yall are acting as if it was only two of them, like they're on a date. They were with fucking I don't know, 8 other people? Like why does Sturntok care who they hangout with? Did you not learn from elementary school to mind your bees wax, or business? You're probably 15. They're literally 5 years older than you. There is no way, in any universe they're gonna date you girl. ALSO TO SHIT ON TARA?? LIKE GIRL. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SHIT ON CUZ HOMEGIRL DONT CARE. SHE DONT CARE. SHE IS STRIVING AND LIVING LIFE LIKE YOU SHOULD GIRL. Live life and don't care. You'll probably have a positive outcome. No cuz y'all know how Chris owns the Saturn necklace thing? Its vivienne underwood. It's less than 20 bucks on Amazon. Also when was the last time y'all saw Chris wearing that necklace girl. Also there's a post from like months, or I think a year ago of Tara wearing the same necklace. These fucking tiktok girls are so annoying. Like we get it, everyone wants to be Tara. (she's my gf.)
Podcast. I saw a bunch of btiches shit on the podcast. Like cmon. THEY ARE PRODUCING AN HOUR LONG VIDEO FOR YALL EVERY WEEK. Mfs are burnt out, you're lucky that they even produce content for you ungreatful hoes. Like lwk, I'd rather have them remove Wednesday videos. I remember when they first started their podcast that they were really excited to start and stuff. I also remember, I believe it was their earlier vlogs. When they were still living in Boston and they haven't like went to LA yet, they were talking about turning their basement into a podcast room. Like cmon. This is something they've been wanting to do and you hoes just don't appreciate anything. Like have y'all's mama's not been pissed at y'all for not appreciating her food. Live life positive and not negative tf. But ofc, I respect their decision.
Intro. Yall just love to shit on everyone. Ruining the party. Sturntok reminds me of the kids-the class "clowns" who would be so shitty to the teacher for no reason and would ruin fun things for everyone. Like guys, I think we should all as a community bully Sturntok. It requires a bit more bullying, just to knock some sense into their heads. Anyways, back to what I was ranting about. I loved their new intro. its a new era. A new them. Change. Is. Fucking. hard. I understand that you love the teens from Boston running around making fools of themselves. Me too, I shall admit it. But in order to get sponsorships, to get the little paring things. (For example, them sponsoring Celsius, even becoming the youtooz thing.) Like they gotta act more professional.
Change. This tied in with the last few things. CHANGE IS HARD. CHANGE IS A DIFFICULT THING. But how the fuck are you gonna live life, and enjoy life when your stuck on one thing forever. Change is needed for growth, and for learning. Like guys, THEYRE 20. I think that's something y'all forget. They aren't teenagers anymore. Its kinda like how when everyone went into middle school and started to not like kiddy things when you still liked kiddy things. When I was in middle school I still like to play with Legos, draw, watch anime. Until I hit 7th grade, aka everyone's downfall. I still enjoy some of those things today but I changed because people in middle school stopped like those things and its embarrassing (well for me at least) to show up in school with anime shirts cuz I'm getting older. Thats what they're feeling I guess. Again, theyre 20 now.
Crazy ass mfs. Crazy, as in them soft mf's on sturntok. Also what pisses me off more is that they're coming here on tumblr. Like no, I know your soft ass belongs on Wattpad bffr. I have a long rant about this one, so bare with me again. They are so so so so so SOOOOO sensitive about the "spicy edits." Sometimes the fucking video frame isn't even about something "spicy" aka- them being shirtless, video frame near their crotch. It was when there was a song about sex. How soft can you be. Most songs these days are about sex. Some songs y'all probably didn't know about was about sex. (cake by the ocean for example.) LIKE LETS ME FOR REAL. MOST SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. Also with the tiktok audios being removed like cmon. Not everything is about sunshine and rainbows. I remember I commented on a Chris edit and I was like.
"I need this man in my life. He's so hot."
"you're fucking gross. He's a human being and do you know how grossed out he would be if he saw that you said this? (bullshitbullshit,morebullshitandstupidness.)"
Yeah, keeping fucking running your mouth. THIS TIKTOK HAS LIKE 4K VIEWS. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING FOLLOWERS THE TRIPLETS HAVE? YEAH. THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY HAVE. THIS VIDEO HAS 1K COMMENTS. ARE THEY FUCKING HUNTING ME DOWN?? MY COMMENT HAS 3 LIKES. WHY WOULD THEY CARE TO FUCKING CHECK GIRL. ITS ALSO TELLING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO EDITED THIS THAT THIS EDIT WAS FIRE AND THAT THEY MADE THE EDIT HELLA GOOD. UR FUCKING LUCKY I KEPT MY ANGER TO MYSELF CUZ OH GIRL. I WOULD SUCKER PUNCH YOU. You know whats also funny? They're the same people who will be pissed with when they see matt or Chris with a female. Like girl. You're calling me fucking gross? Do you think how much more worse that is than my comment? You ruin friendships. OG sturniolo fans know that they've been friends with girls. If you genuinely care, yall would know that nick made most of matt and chris' friends. Meaning most of them were females. SO OBVIOUSLY THEYRE GONNA HAVE GIRL FRIENDS. I remember watching the Zach sang pod when nick was on and he explained that matt usually doesn't make the friends. Theres a joke where matt says "I'm gonna make a friend that wasn't originally nick's friends." smth like that. Anyways, off topic. Just because they are seen with a girl, doesn't mean they are fucking dating them. Like shut the fuck up. please. Respectfully shut the fuck because I'm a nice person. Also Chris gives off major virgin vibes lets bffr.
Madi. Yall hate so bad on Madi and its fucking grossing me out. Why do you have to ship her with matt and chris??? Literally to the point they can't even put her in photo dumps or videos. You just gotta ruin it for everyone, huh? shes fucking gorgeous, and she's so funny in videos. Plus, when she does talk shes hillarious. She literally reminds me of Matt. She doesn't fucking talk much because she is more of a listener.. Like guys bffr. How can you hate her when she barley spoke in videos. Like respectfully, shut the fuck up. Yall just jealous shes pretty.
Calling Nick fine. I also hate them mfs who are always running their mouth about girls calling Nick fine. Lets bffr. Y'all didn't think a gay guy is fine? I'm sure you've had a crush on one gay person before. And if you haven't trust me. You will. I had a crush on my gay friend in 8th grade. I feel like its a canon even in every girl's life. anyways, I hate when girls will be scared to call nick hot.
"Nick is so fine. But like as a cool guy friend way. Please don't attack me."
POOR GIRL BELIEVES SHE IS GONNA BE ATTACKED IF SHE CALLS A GAY MAN FINE. Sturntok leave her the fuck alone. He's hot as fucking and I will kill civilians if I'm not given more nick edits. He's so fine. Literally the hottest triplet.
If u made it here thanks. There was shit on my chest that I really needed to let out. What have we learned today?
Sturntok can suck my fucking dick.
Thanks goodbye.
Me to Sturntok :
Tumblr media
197 notes · View notes
not-equippedforthis · 8 months
Text
really love characters who have varied panic responses. kirk stating himself that he does not panic outright, externally, not in high-stress dangerous situations, but instead becomes tense and level like a wound string, on-guard: mostly because his role as captain necessitates that he maintain level rationality even when facing potential death as his training as 'the guy who tells you what to do when shit hits the fan' requires, but also because his childhood experiences taught him early that drowning in the desperate haziness of panic won't help you survive. especially as kirk already follows his intuition so deeply. he learned to grasp and contort the feeling. spock is the main person who represses his emotions, of course, but kirk does it to those deep-set, personal ones (this includes how he doesn't reveal anything truly personal about himself willingly 90% of the time, only what others already know/shallow anecdotes) in a much more subtle way that's really interesting to me. certified expert at avoiding the subject as long as he isnt caught out on the lie. professional bluffer.
in terms of past or parents we dont know much!!! hes known as the heart-on-his-sleeve guy!!! like yes he yells, he gets irritated, excited, hes a whirlwind of quick-thinking and plans and intuition, he goes out of his way to connect with his crew and shows it, when he puts on a little act or bluff he puts his heart into it and clearly enjoys the dramatics so much, at times he wears his heart on his sleeve, he laughs openly and is honest to spock about what he means to him, he's very sun-coded to me in a burning, passionate way, always intertwined with the stars and seeking them out, but when it comes to genuine deep-set turmoil? we dont actually know all that much about him??? hes so full of emotion and character (i love fics where spock characterises jim's mind/bond as a whirl of colour and sensations, hes a quick thinker!!! intuitive!! lively!!!) and yet its still so outwardly surface level. tarsus iv gets mentioned like twice? so especially here where kirk gets briefly jumpscared by the creature, because like:
Tumblr media
its subtle but his eyes. his eyesss!!!!! kirk commands with his emotions but there's always some sort of level of control to it, or he transforms them into something that spurs on others or uses them to ascertain a goal: seeing unguarded fear/distress in his eyes even if its faint and brief (in this instance) makes me go insane every single time. like!!! its such a small moment!!! he isnt even panicking!!! really, he just got jumpscared!!! its insignificant!!!!!!! but seeing a two-second flash of actual, naked apprehension is just...oughhh,,,,,,,,,
oh god, and dont even get me started on the galileo seven episode where he assumes a tense level-headedness throughout the whole thing, irritated and apprehensive but not panicking, making sure he maintains intelligent rationality, even when he has to leave them behind, but when spock and the crew are confirmed safe and the bridge is occupied the camera pans to him and his eyes look like they're fucking watering and he's so achingly relieved. don't even talk to me. im. fuck.
he shows so so much but at the same time reveals so little.
273 notes · View notes
izukusjuicythighs · 2 months
Text
bkdk fics i read because was it ever casual
Horikoshi keeps feeding us bkdk crumbs like wtf??at this point they HAVE to be canon bkdk hospital kiss confirmed I was izukus freckle ALSO IM KINDA IN A BLOCK RN whenever I finish a fic my yappin brain always has something to say but rn its real quiet so uh🤡
left me no choice(but to stay here forever)
summary: Izuku learns early on in life that the people he loves will always leave him.
So when Kacchan asks him to be his boyfriend, Izuku kisses him and starts grieving for the inevitable.
words: 6,925
chapters: 3/4(updating)
notes: im quite aware that its a bitchy move to inflict pain on ppl but jm gonna do it anyways lol READ THIS AND WEEP I literally wanted to gorge my heart out and then slap all of my love into izuku idk it evokes complicated feelings??normally hate reading unfinished fics BUT THIS!!gave me a life changing experience within 7000words dammit
be my good luck charm
summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.
(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest traveling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)
words: 6785
chapters: 1/1
notes: cute lil oneshot for yall cuz mha fans r in dire need of fluff rn yknow why🤭 how to date a hottie101 by bkg: set ur crush on fire to show ur undying love(WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN)
Barberries and Variegated Knotweeds
summary: The Fight Another Day Agreement is a required legal document for all professional heroes. In the event of a life-threatening injury and the hero and their proxies are unable to respond on their behalf, medical professionals may do whatever it takes to keep the hero alive.
For Izuku, whatever it takes means removing flowers from his lungs, forcing him to forget about the love of his life. The aftermath leaves Izuku bewildered at the sight of a man with spiky blond hair and red eyes the color of Japanese barberries.
words: 19,286
chapters: 4/4
notes: YET ANOTHER HANAHAKI FIC WITH IZUKU WHUMP I just love seeing my favs go through it🤠I've read so many hanahaki fics ud think I'd be used to it but NOPE THIS SHIT HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT was ready to downgrade 1 dimension to solve this shitstorm myself
If It's You
summary: “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” Katsuki said. “You did not just ask me—me—to try and date your loser step-brother.”
He wasn’t even going to say Deku’s name out loud. Wasn’t giving him the time of day, even in a conversation about him. That weird awkward virgin was not worth his precious time, and certainly not what Kirishima was suggesting.
“But Bakugouuu,” Kirishima wailed, hanging off Katsuki’s arm with monster meathead jock strength. “My dad said I can’t date if Deku doesn’t date. Do you understand what that means?”
“Less chance of knocking someone up and creating more of you in the world?”
words: 16,863
chapters: 1/1
notes: 10 things I hate about you but make it bkdk I LOVE THIS SHIT angsty dramatic misunderstanding high school aus are my JAM also somewhat gives off from the sidelines vibes so if ur into that defo read
Down the Red Line
summary: His mom is the first person to know about it. She finds out when Izuku asks ( in a very cute three-year-old way) why can’t he see the red line that connected him to Kacchan in the last picture they've taken. The one where they were about to enter Kindergarten on their first day.
"Red line?"
"Yeah, Mamma. This," Little Izuku says, raising his pinky finger to show her the thing tied to it.
Izuku has been able to see the red strings of fate since birth. It's no surprise that his is connected to Katsuki.
words: 7,804
chapters: 1/1
notes: one of my absolute favs since 2021 MAKES ME SO FUKCIN MAD I have to put my phone down and contemplate life for a few mjns while reading it but it's so good??my red string is tied to thjs fic pls
67 notes · View notes
comet-forgot-you · 2 months
Note
HEAR ME OUT, Amber freeman who is not killed in the end of scream 5 but put in a psych ward and R is a psychologist there whose patient is amber and amber keeps flirting with R but they both have to keep this professional and then idk boom smut 😸
hmmmmm
smut. 18+ pls
do not repost for any reason.
“oh come on, you know you want me.”
“this is a professional relationship, amber. you are my patient, i dont want you.” you say, peering over your clipboard to look at the girl. you had been treating her for the past few months and every day she had flirted with you.
“if you didnt want me, you would’ve released me already, but you havent.” she was right in a way. she was fit for release to a prison, but you werent ready for her to leave, not yet.
“thats not true,” you murmur, scratching something down on the piece of paper clipped down. “i havent released you because youre not ready for release.” you lied. of course you did, you couldnt let the girl know you were affected by her at all.
amber sits up on the couch in your office. “you cant lie to me,” she whispers, standing up. you look up at her, setting your clipboard down on the table beside your chair.
“im not lying.” she reaches out to stroke your hair.
“yes you are.” you swallow.
this is unprofessional.
you want to say it, but you cant bring yourself to say the word, her soft fingers against your skin sending butterflies to your stomach. “amber.” your voice is stern. amber tilts her head to the side.
“hmm?” she hums. minutes pass of silence, your throat dry. “got nothin to say?”
she finds herself in your lap, your hands instinctively finding her hips. “this is unprofessional,” she mocks you. you glare up at her, eyes flicking to her lips for a millisecond. “you sound so-“ you shut her up, pressing your lips to hers. you tug her hips to grind against your thigh.
“shut up.” you mumble, pulling her lip between your teeth. amber smiles, her hips rolling against you.
her hands wrap around the back of your neck as your lips kiss down her jaw, fingers finding their way into her waistband. “can i?” you mumble against her skin.
“please” she breathes out, grinding against your thigh. you sneak your hand into her pants, feeling the wetness pooling in her underwear. “shit,” she hisses, grinding against your fingers. you push her panties to the side, swiping a finger through her folds.
she lets out a moan as your finger swirls around her clit. “hush,” your voice muffled into her skin. you bite down gently against the skin of her neck before sinking your fingers into her cunt.
“please,” her voice is hoarse as you pump your fingers in and out of her.
“this is unprofessional,” you murmur. you dont stop, though, too focused on how her walls squeezed your fingers to truly care about how unprofessional it was to fuck your patient.
“shut.. up,” amber’s words were cut off by her breathy moans. her fingers tug at your hair desperately, hips rolling uncontrollably against your palm.
its not long before shes nearing her high, her walls squeezing your fingers and you swear you could get off from the feeling alone. “gonna cum, amber?” you whisper, your free hand wrapping around her throat gently. she lets out a quiet moan as your fingers squeeze her throat.
“mhm,” she hums, eyes blown full of lust.
“good girl,” you whisper, pressing your lips against her own. “cum on my fingers, yeah?” she nods as best she could with your hand wrapped around her throat.
as if she were waiting for you to tell her, she cums on your fingers, her hips moving sloppily as she rides out her high.
“so.. fuck.. so unprofessional, doctor,” amber breathes out, her body slumping against yours.
“so unprofessional.”
104 notes · View notes