#Because my dresses from last year are basically falling apart too

[erebus-luckycharm]

Annoyed that I had to replace some worn out items in my closet. I hate that brands are making their items less durable and more expensive every year, fuck them soooooooo much actually

I don't follow fashion trends, I have some closet staples(is this the right word lol??) that I wear until the item starts falling apart. And I HATE it that I have to spend my money and time to find similar looking items every year or so. It's terrible for the environment too...

[actual-corpse]

I'm so excited to move out....

I can't sleep😫

[boldlyvoid]

Falling For You.

[REQUEST] spencer reid x BAU!reader but they're in a secret relationship, and basically she gets him to watch all these romcoms, so when he makes a reference to something like Notting Hill or You've Got Mail and then the whole secret is blown.

warnings: mentions of lila archer, spoilers for 90s/2000s rom-coms, co-workers to lovers, love confessions, implied smut, secret relationships.

word count: 2.4k

It was no secret that the newest team member had a thing for romantic comedies. From the little jokes she made with Penelope to the quote from Pretty Woman on her travel mug, she was a walking Rom-Com reference.

Hotch understood some of the references, JJ would talk her ear off about her favourites, and even Emily and Derek would jokingly re-enact that scene from When Harry Met Sally every time they had a team lunch. It was only Spencer who didn’t get the jokes, and after having to explain them all to him 1 too many times, she finally invited him over to watch some. 

The first one they watched together was Can’t Buy Me Love. Patrick Dempsey, a loveable nerd has been saving up all summer to buy the telescope of his dreams when the girl next door accidentally ruins her mom's favourite dress and needs to buy a replacement… he ends up buying it for her on the condition that she pretends to date him so his Senior Year can be his best year yet. Spencer likes the movie overall, he wishes someone in his high school took enough pity on him to make him popular. But his favourite scene is when they go to the abandoned airplane graveyard and watch the stars in his homemade telescope. 

“I can make one of those,” Spencer whispers to her. 

“Really?” 

He nods, “It would be pretty easy… maybe we could go star gazing someday too?” He asks, biting the bullet and making this movie date the first of many dates they’d go on. 

—

The next movie they watch is Never Been Kissed. Drew Barrymore is a nerdy reporter who goes undercover at a high school and gets to relive her teen years while falling in love for the first time. Spencer likes this one because he can relate, he never had his first kiss until well into his 20s… and she was an actress, too. When he explains that to Y/N she can’t believe it, but he has the magazine photos of them saying goodbye after the case to prove it. 

“Have you kissed many people since then?” She asks, wishing he’d move a little closer to her and steal one. 

He nods, “a few.” 

“anyone good?” 

He shakes his head, “no, I’m saving the best kiss for last.” 

She looks puzzled? “What?” 

“My best kiss will be from the girl I end up marrying,” he gives her a smile and moves his hand over to hold hers. 

“Oh,” she bites back a smile and looks down at their interlocked fingers. “Have you at least met her yet?” 

“I think so…” 

“Well, then shouldn’t you kiss her to find out if she’s the right one?” She teases, leaning into his space even more. 

“I suppose you’re right,” he teases, he cups her face with his free hand and rubs his thumb over her cheek, “are you sure you’re okay with this?” 

She nods and leans in all the way this time. Effectively pressing their lips together. And even for a first kiss, it sure does feel different. It feels like her last first kiss ever. 

—

Keeping it a secret at work is hard when all they want to do is stare at each other with googly-eyes, they’ve fallen head over heels for each other and not told a single soul. No one knows about their movie dates or their real dates either. No one knows they’ve spent a whole night kissing or that they really, really, don’t mind sharing the hotel room with the two queen beds. And they definitely don’t know that they only slept in the one. Together. The whole week they were away. 

After the case ends, they head back to her apartment for their mandated 48 hours off with the pan to watch as many movies as they can. 

The third movie they watch is You’ve Got Mail. 

“Rival bookstore owners hate each other in real life, yet on the internet manage to fall madly in love with one another. Based on an older movie called The Shop Around The Corner, it’s a beloved story brought to life once again by the one and only Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.” 

She explains every movie like this before they put it on. He’s honestly only watching them because he loves listening to her talk about them. 

“You see, they both have partners in real life but they email each other every day, as friends… but you know what it's like in movies like these,” she smirks. “Best friends who have a lot in common find it easy to fall in love.” 

“That they do,” he agrees. 

He raises his arm over the back of the couch and she sits back, leaning into his side just as his hand lands on her shoulder. They snuggle up close, she hits play and he watches with glee, not knowing this was going to become his favourite movie by the time it’s over. 

His favourite line is when two cars honk at each other and their drivers get out to argue, followed by Meg Ryan saying “Don’t you love New York in the fall?” Which is something Tom Hanks says to her in an email earlier that morning.

He loves the way the old man recalls a woman of his past and called her “enchanting” because what a wonderful thing to say about a woman.

He giggles when Tom Hanks tosses aside Pride and Prejudice cause he just doesn’t get it the way Meg's character does. But ultimately, he picks it back up because he wants to get to know her through her reading history. 

“I sympathize with Frank,” Spencer whispers as he brings out a typewriter when they have a perfectly good computer at her house. 

“I know,” she laughs. “I love the tablets at work, I can’t believe you still have Penny paint the files out for you.” 

You are a lone reed standing tall, waving boldly in the curet sands of commerce. Frank compliments Kathleen, or at least he tries to. 

Spencer giggles again. “I remember what it was like being a lone Reid,” he whispers before pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

She gets all flustered, so madly in love with him that she wants to scream it from the rooftops but it feels way too soon. They’re only 3 movies into their relationship. Maybe at 10, she’ll tell him. Till then, she looks over at him and steals a real kiss. 

Kathleen is so passionate about her books in the same way that Y/N loves her movies. Spencer sees so many similarities between them that it’s really no wonder that Tom Hanks’ character falls in love with her. Passionate, kind, beautiful women will always have a place in Spencer's heart. 

Their 4th movie is another Meg Ryan classic; When Harry Met Sally, and now Spencer understands why Derek pretends to have an orgasm when he eats a good salad… 

Their 5th movie is Notting Hill and Y/N can tell he doesn’t like it very much because unlike William Tucker, the actress who kissed Spencer never talked to him again after that. 

Their 6th movie, however, is Pretty Woman. And while they shared a bed all through the last case, they’ve never really slept together. So watching a movie all about sex and falling in love really didn’t help the frustration they were both feelings. By the time the movie ended, it was almost midnight and they should’ve been getting ready for bed. 

She gets up and heads to her room, expecting him to follow but he just stands in her doorway, watching with a bit of anxiety in his gut. 

“So…” Spencer asks. “What happens after he climbs up and rescues her?” 

She stills, her heart fills with love and she quickly makes his way to him. She cups his face in her hands, staring up at him. “She rescues him right back.” 

“Indeed you have,” he leans in and presses a quick kiss to her lips. “You know what all these movies have in common?” 

“What?” She has no idea where he’s going with this.

“They all fell in love pretty quickly, I mean just look at Vivian and Edward, it took them less than a week,” he explains. “So I don’t feel too crazy when I say… I love you, Y/N. I love you so very much.” 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she whispers between kisses. 

They kiss and kiss and he walks with her, leading her toward the bed where they fall in and make love for the first time. It's hot and close and emotional. It's slow and steady and perfect. It’s everything both of them have dreamed of when they finally met the one. 

— 

On their second day off they watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, 13 Going On 30, 50 First Dates, A Walk to Remember, 10 Things I Hate About You, and The Holiday. They would’ve gotten to more if they weren’t so wrapped up in one another. By the time they go back to work, they’ve gotten through half of her list of favourite movies. 

He’s not sure if it’s luck or coincidence or what… but their next case happens to be in New York. 

When they land, they get into their Bureau-issued SUVs and weave in and out of traffic on their way to the scene. They’re honked at multiple times and Spencer just smirks to himself. It’s not until they get out and they’re honked at once again, with some guy yelling at them to get out of his way, that Spencer turns to her and says. “Don’t you love New York in the fall?” 

She giggles and shoves him, “Shut up.” 

“It’s not the fall?” JJ remarks, not knowing why he’d say such a thing or why she’d react like that. 

“Hey, isn’t that…” Emily thinks it over for a second. “That’s a line from you’ve got mail!” 

“How would Spencer know that movie?” JJ laughs it off. 

Spencer turns to beat red with embarrassment. “I’ve seen it…” 

“You’ve seen you’ve got mail?” Derek even rides him for this slip-up. “And when do you have time to watch rom-coms?” 

“I’ve seen the original,” he lies. “It’s based on The Shop Around The Corner. My mom liked it before she got sick.” 

“Okay,” they drop it there. 

Thankfully. 

And by the time the case ends, 3 days have passed, the unsub has been booked into Jail at 9am and they’re free to go home. If they want to. Derek suggests they all go out for breakfast, and Hotch says he rather go home and sleep. JJ wants to go shopping and Emily’s right there with her. 

Spencer on the other hand, he opens his phone and sends Y/N a message. 

“There’s a place in Riverside Park at 91st street where the path curves and there’s a garden. I’ll be waiting there for you.” 

She digs her phone out of her pocket seconds later and smiles, a small sigh leaves her as her shoulders slump. She’s so in love with him it's unreal. 

“What about you, Y/N?” Emily asks her. “Do you want to come with us?” 

“No… no, I have a friend in town I want to meet up with.” 

“Looks like it’s just me and you for breakfast, pretty boy,” Derek teased, wrapping his arm around Spencer. 

He shakes his head, “Actually, I was thinking about going on a little sightseeing adventure, you know I only come to new york for work.” 

“Fine then,” Derek drops it and he, Emily and JJ watch as Spencer and Y/N head off, out of the precinct and in different directions. “I bet you ten bucks they’re meeting up.” 

“Hold on,” JJ says as she calls up Penelope. “Hey, yeah, can you tell me where Spencer and Y/N’s GPS pings in 20 minutes?” 

“I can… why?” Penny asks nervously. 

“No reason. Just a hunch.” 

When Penelope eventually calls her back all she has to say is Riverside Park at 91st Street and they know. 

—

Y/N gets there first, she’s never seen this place in person before. The flowers are even more vibrant than in the movie. There are bees dancing around every other flower, couples walking around hand in hand, people on dog walks and moms with their strollers. It’s just an average early morning in New York. 

And then she sees him. He comes rounding the corner, he’s carrying a bouquet of flowers wrapped in newspaper… at least she thinks they’re flowers. 

What they don’t notice is their friends on the other side of the garden, watching them get closer and closer until they’re chest to chest. He wraps his free hand around her waist, she cups his face in her own hands, and she stares up at him like he hung the stars just for her.  

“I wanted it to be you,” Spencer whispers what was originally Meg Ryan's line. “I wanted it to be you so badly.” 

“You sure did save the best for last,” she knows exactly what he means. 

Just as they lean in to kiss, as his lips meet hers, they hear it. Someone is playing “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” just for them. They smile into the kiss, shocked that their life is playing out like a perfectly written movie and then they see them.

It’s their own friends who played it. They’re clapping in the distance, “Woo!!” Emily cheers.

“We knew this would happen!” Derek throws in for good measure. 

They can’t help but laugh, Spencer pulls her in for another kiss, a longer, more hearty kiss. He loves her and he wants everyone to know. 

When she pulls back, she looks as though she could cry, so he extends the bouquet to her. It’s a bunch of yellow, newly sharpened number 2 pencils tied up with string. 

“Don’t you love New York in the fall?” 

“Not as much as I love you,” she says as she takes them, gladly. “Not even close.” 

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @babybisexual @marsmunson86

[poppadom0912]

Men Suck

Characters: Kelly Severide x Sibling!Reader

Warnings: Abusive/toxic relationship, injuries, blood, hospital treatment.

Summary: Kelly finds out he should've trusted his gut.

A/N: This is kinda new for me, my first time writing a sibling fic for Kelly. Hope it's okay!

*****

Naturally, whenever you brought a boy home, Kelly played his role as your big brother a little too well, always presenting himself as all macho and scary so boys would back off and never talk to you again.

But Jacob, he was different.

The first time you formally introduced Kelly and Jacob was one night at Molly's. You just finished your shift and Kelly invited you for a free drink, something about not seeing you for weeks now due to firehouse drama.

Kelly like usual was ice cold towards the man and he had a very good reason. The moment he noticed you walking into the bar, the man close behind you, he knew something about him was off.

Maybe it was the way he carried himself, his face permanently looking smug and the callouses, old scars and healing skin on his hands sent immediate alarms.

Of course, in the beginning you were as careful as could be but then a month went, then six and then a year and you and Jacob were still together and dating. But, it was seven months in when everything starting to unfold.

Your shift ran over one night and the ED was understaffed and Maggie said she needed all the nurses she could have, so she asked and without a second thought you accepted, helping through the rush of the multi-vehicle car accident.

You were completely shattered, wanting nothing more than a hot bath and to go to bed, falling into the arms of your boyfriend. Alas, it wasn't that simple.

The veins in his neck were sticking out, his knuckles white from the grip on the bottle of beer yet his face was completely straight, too straight.

No matter how valid your excuses were, he just kept going and long before you knew it, your body went limp into his arms so you wouldn't hit the floor, alerting whoever lived downstairs.

From then on, you made sure to tread very carefully every time you set foot into your shared apartment. You constantly made sure that you were home before it got too late no matter what you were doing.

Eventually, people at work started to realise you weren't being you. Suddenly, you were jittering and flinched at the smallest thing, something you never used to do. You used to be the opposite, nothing scaring you because of the tolerance you built up as a child.

Everyone in the ED was so concerned that they even looped in Dr Charles and Ms Goodwin, the psychiatrist already noticing your unusual behaviour before he was told by your concerned colleagues.

You brushed off all of their concerns, saying you were completely fine and everything was great.

Then, someone snitched. You couldn't confirm who it was but anyone who knew Kelly, which was basically the entire staff, called him and spilled the beans.

From then on, Kelly was always in your ear, constantly asking if you were okay, if you wanted to hang out with him, if you wanted to have dinner and stay the night but you always made excuses. It wasn't like Jacob would let you spend the evening with your brother anyways.

All you wanted was for this nightmare to be over and for it all to go back to normal.

*****

Last night was the worst it's ever been. You lost track of time and when you eventually came to, you felt like the reincarnation of death.

You had been left to bleed out on the floor, still dressed in the clothes you wore when you left work, your shoes still on your feet.

Groaning, mustering up all the energy you had, you pushed yourself up and tried to stay silent, trying to hear if Jacob was home but from the corner of your eyes, you could just about make out the empty shoe rack.

He literally left you to die.

Still disorientated, wincing when your body pulsated in several places, you started cursing yourself out. Why did you let it get so far? You should've left him before the second date when Kelly expressed his hatred for the man.

Your eyes dragged across the room, trying to look for anything you could use to help your situation. Still sitting on the wooden floor, you propped yourself against the armrest of the sofa so you were upright. Taking the tissue box from the coffee table, you used as much as you could before the box was empty, holding the white squares against the parts of you that were bleeding.

But, you ran out and you were still bleeding. Before long, you'd pass out against from blood loss and if no one found you, these were going to be your last moments before dying.

This was the only time you were going to be thankful for Jacob. For some reason, he had the home phone on the table besides the sofa which meant that right behind you, within your reach was a phone.

Stretching backwards, you cried out, your fingers violently shaking as you struggled to grip the phone but you were relentless, grabbing the object with all the might you had left.

Pressing in the numbers of your brothers number, you tried to keep your breathing steady as the phone started ringing. As time went on, everything got more blurry, everything hurt more and the more you wanted to close your eyes and take a quick nap.

Snapping out of your reverie, you inhaled sharply at the voice that suddenly spoke, coming from the phone laying in your grasp.

"Severide." You felt tears fall down your cheeks, your sobs echoing, causing your chest to be in immense pain as your body shook.

"Kelly." You breathed out. Just hearing his voice brought you peace and all of a sudden, everything was perfect and you could go now.

"Y/N?" Kelly said in alarm, not recognising the number on his phone but he knew that voice, not liking how you sounded though. Your cries were loud and clear through the phone and it made his heart clench. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

His questions brought the common room to a standstill. Everyone was eating brunch, having missed breakfast because of a call. All their eyes watched Kelly who was frozen in his seat, his phone to his ear.

"It was- Jacob's gone." You breathed out, trying to swallow back your tears so you could tell Kelly everything. "He- I'm hurt Kelly."

That was all Kelly needed to hear to know that Jacob did something, he hurt you. Kelly swore he never saw as much red as he did right now. To know that that scumbag lay a finger on you and he inflicted pain onto you, Jacob would be six feet under the next time next time Kelly saw him.

"Okay, I'm on my way Y/N." Kelly said, letting everyone in the room know that they needed to go. It didn't matter if it wasn't an official call because Kelly's little sister needed help and that was the only explanation needed.

*****

Driving at record speed, Kelly ran past the elevator and went up the stairs, going straight to the floor the apartment you shared with Jacob was. On the drive over, you stopped talking to Kelly and all he could think of was the worst.

Courtesy of Jacob, Kelly was denied a key to your place meaning that he had to kick in the door, kicking it repeatedly with his boot till it fell off its hinges.

Despite being unfamiliar with the layout of the apartment, Kelly ran in and felt his heart drop when his eyes found you unconscious up against the sofa.

Dropping to his knees, water building up behind his eyes, Kelly gently placed his fingers on your neck, waiting with bated breath for a pulse; letting out a sigh of relief when it was weak but it was there nonetheless.

"Y/N. Hey, open those eyes for me." Kelly whispered, pushing your hair from sticking on your forehead to behind your ears. He let his eyes scan your body, his own aching upon finding you littered in wounds, bruises and scars, some of which will permanently scar your skin.

Your groan was just about audible, Kelly's head snapping towards your head. A smile graced his lips when your eyelids fluttered, you were waking up.

"Hey, keep those pretty eyes open for me." Kelly begged you, your hand in his when Sylvie and Gabby finally entered the apartment. And your hand would stay with his until he was forced away by your colleagues at Med when you were taken to surgery.

*****

Your senses slowly came back, one by one. You easily recognised the smell, the sounds and the material of the blanket sitting on your lap and the bed you lay on.

Swallowing back a groan, you felt the needles poking in your skin. Peeling your eyes open, you blinked away any tiredness and scanned the room.

The room was dimly lit, the lights turned down so no ones sleep was going to be disturbed. Trying to move your fingers, one hand was connected to a bunch of needles and monitors while the other was being clutched in a warm hand.

Following the hand, your smiled at the salt and pepper hair. Kelly's head resting on your bed and he finally slept after god knows how long. He was still dressed in his uniform letting you know he hadn't moved an inch since your arrival.

"Kelly." You whispered, poking his cheek. "Wake up."

With a few more pokes, becoming more forceful as you went on, Kelly sat up in alarm, his eyes wide in confusion. "What, what's wro-" He cut himself off, you being the first thing he looked out.

You could physically see Kelly relax, letting out the biggest sigh of relief to see you awake and talking, way more alert than you were before.

"Gosh kid, you scared me." Kelly said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. All he wanted to do was wrap you up, keep you to himself and never let you go. His job as your older brother was to protect you and he failed.

"Men suck." You said with a slight smile, looking into Kelly's eyes that were identical to yours. "I should've listened to you."

"Don't blame yourself." Kelly shook his head, wanting you to know that you were definitely not to blame. "I should've been more annoying. Should've forced Jacob out and as far away from you."

"Don't blame yourself." You mocked Kelly, scoffing when he started to blame himself, guilt eating him up so much he was nearly drowning.

"Thank you Kelly." Your smile brightened, loving the comfort he brought he with small gestures like he was now, his thumb rubbing against the back of your hand like he used to when you were a kid struggling to sleep.

"No problem kid." Kelly smirked when you frowned, hating that he still called you that even though you were a fully grown, functioning and full time working adult.

"Anything for you."

[notshelbyuwu]

HI!! PORTAL 2 x MINDVERSE :33

I'm so sorry for my cringe btw :((

What if I added 4 idiots to your Portal 2? :3

Summary: After Chell leaves the hospital she basically thinks over the events of Portal 1 for a week, not leaving Felix and their shared apartment, eventually Felix and Barmey get them to spill about what happened and she does, telling them about the advanced portal technology and the crazy evil sentient robot who killed the whole facility and tried to kill them so she killed her first, aaaaand they didn't believe her, thinking they probably got fired or they quit and was just embarrassed about it, with Gordon (who was overhearing) instigating the idea, in his words "if they were stupid enough to put a killer robot in charge of the whole facility they would've shit down a looong time ago". Chell is upset/annoyed that her friends (+ Gordon) don't believe them and, after a lot of pestering, agreed to show them the wreckage of Aperture Science.

Felix was the one to drive them there, they all travel deeper into the facility and Chell tries to find the remains of GLaDOS while the others explore, little did they know, they accidentally activate the party escort bots and get ambushed by multiple of em, being knocked unconscious for struggled against them and placed in statis in the Relaxation Centers, being mistaken for volunteer test subjects.

Chell Nanako (Attempt #4)

-The last one to wake up

-teams up with Wheatley to find her friends and escape

-Wheatley isn't too fond of the idea but doesn't try to sway Chell

-Chell was told she's only been asleep for 5 years

-won't admit it, but they actually have fun testing again

-They feel guilt for giving in and bring everyone to the facility, hoping they're not hurt or worse

-Grows attached to Wheatley because hes endearing to her, taking their mind off... Everything.

-plus, he's all she really has right now.

Gordon Freeman (Attempt #3)

-the 3rd to wake up, he was woken up by Wheatley who loudly knocked on his door

-Found an aperture science jumpsuit and boots in the closet

-Gordon saw how incompetent and wreckless Wheatley could be and ditched him at the first opportunity, choosing to traverse Aperture by himself

-actively avoids Wheatley

-stole a red portal gun from a tall deactivated robot

-ties his portal gun around his waist with a belt

-while traveling through what was left of Aperture, he came across the Oracle Turret, Gordon had never heard a turret speak like it did, so he took it with him, the turret helping him avoid danger while saying the vaugest and foreshadow-y things

-carries the turret on his back with a blanket

-Gordon is trying to find everyone, but his main priority is finding Felix.

Felix Freeman (Attempt #2)

-2nd to wake, Felix woke up on his own and looked around to see nature taking over his room

-Felix has no memory of who he is or where he is but he's absolutely terrified and tries to find a way out, ultimately giving up after what feels like days

-he camps out in the back rooms of Aperture, near some of the ramblings of Doug and a Chell mural

-Felix gets dresses and leaves him room, basically trying not to trip over a vine or fall in a hole.

-found a prototype portal gun in a pile of rubble, had no idea what it was and almost shot his head off

-ran into a companion cube and found it strangely comforting, he doesn't take it everywhere but comes back to it when he needs to calm down

-Felix sometimes runs into Doug Rattmans writings and secret rooms, he has no idea what they mean but it causes him to be super paranoid and suspicious of anything, getting an awful feeling about his situation

-recognizes the woman in the art, he finds them slightly comforting

Barney Calhoun (Attempt #1)

-first to wake up, Wheatley broke his door down and scared the hell outta Barney, also found vines growing around and almost grabbing his legs, ew

-was told to get dressed and he did, got a two piece jumpsuit instead of a one piece jumpsuit.

-immediately asked Wheatley what was happening and Wheatley told him they were escaping, when asked where his friends were, Wheatley, very bluntly, said "I don't know- probably dead, a lot of people died in their room, no one even told me the power went out in some rooms!" And this freaked Barney out, refusing to believe his friends were all dead

-this lead to Barney leaving Wheatley to find someone, anyone. He didn't want to believe that he was all alone in this

-he tied his jacket around his neck like a cape as a way to comfort himself

-found a blue portal gun from a small deactivated robot

-heard a small almost soft voice greet him from around the corner, as he turned the corner he ran into a turret that began to open fire at him, he just barely took cover, but not before a bullet grazed and scared under his left eye

-absolutely hates turrets, thinks the innocent voice they use is cruel considering how dangerous they can be

[pinkpoppii]

ok I like fr need to know more about bella cuz I absolutely love the one that got away trope and the potential angst with their last seeing of each other, I love the way your mind workss

okay so her family and jordans are like this 🤞 and her nd jordan grew up together essentially, and when jordans powers kicked in she was one of the only ones who didn't treat them any different, who shopped in the mall with jordan in their fem form and helped them pick cute outfits.

they'd talk about running away together alot, sharing jordans bed and talking about their shitty family and how much they hated all the expectations. jordans father expecting them to be his heir, as a man, and only a man, bellas parents expecting her to be in a traditional marriage by her twenties, a silten docile housewife.

jordan would sneak food into their room, their moms cookies and junk food and they'd watch scary movies and bella would look at jordan and think about kissing them, about being a rebel like jordan was and just. saying fuck it. imagines reaching across the bed and taking their hand, seeing what would happen. but she doesn't. she thinks about her mother's disappointment and it makes something in her shrink and die.

she helps jordan rebel in small ways, but never all the way, because shes terrified of what being shunned from the comfortable acceptance of her family would feel like. she thinks jordan might have feelings for her, sees it in the way jordans fingers linger when they help her unzip a too tight dress, feels the heat of their gaze on her neck, her throat, her lips, when they think shes not paying attention. and maybe she encourages it, silently. blossoms under the attention and affection from her most treasured person, imagines turning her head one day, and closing that distance, but no.

and then jordan gets accepted into GodU and bella feels the world fall out from under her. She has powers too, but she was never gonna be a hero. It was more for show, for protection, for money. The fear of jordan leaving her overwhelms her, even though she knows this is what they've always wanted. to get out from their parents thumb, to be free. still, it feels dreadful. the one thing in her life that she felt was hers, that tasted like freedom, wild and sweet, and they were leaving her. to become something - someone - bigger and better than she'd ever be.

so when jordan kisses her the night before they leave, she kisses back. too afraid to keep her walls up, to pretend she doesn't fucking burn for them - she does, she's constantly being set ablaze in their presence. she lets jordan kiss and kiss and kiss her, lets jordans fingers slip under her dress, feels the world widen and expand and sees colors and feels magic and - "come with me." jordan says the words she was hoping they wouldn't, "we can - i want you, bell. i want you with me."

the fire is doused in ice water. bella feels the ice as it fills her veins and has to step away, one step that feels like miles that feels like galaxies of distance apart, the tether between them straining.

she says the one thing she knows will kill, "i cant - i can only be with a man, jordan. just a man."

she sees the lie take root, sees jordans eyes harden, jaw clench, fingers twitch. taking in the hurt and internalizing it. when they speak, their voice is even colder than the snow drowning bellas heart, "right. of course -" they step back, hand on the doorknob, twisting it - bellas insides twist with it - "my fucking mistake."

she doesn't see jordan li for another three years.

by then, she's engaged, to a picture perfect kind of man. hes blonde and blue eyed and has big shining white teeth. his hands dont warm her the way jordans did.

when she sees jordan li again, they're basically already a hero. not an ounce of that doubt on their face, cool and settled into who they are completely. bella feels her heart give a kick, feels some of the ice crystals in her chest melt away.

"jordan." she breathes, when they're about to sit for dinner, seated next to eachother, just like old times. "hi. long time no see. you look - so different. good! good different."

jordans eyes, dark as onyx, flick to her and then down to her hand, her ring finger. the engagement ring sits there like an ugly rock. their lips quirk at the corners but its not a soft smile, its callous, biting.

"Bella." they parrot back, tonelessly. "you look exactly the same."

bella feels her smile drop. her heart too. looks down at her lap and curls her fingers tightly until the sharp edge of her engagement ring bite into her skin. the pain keeps her from letting tears build.

its going to be a long fucking night.

[strawberry-cowmilk]

the brothers and shoes

a/n: I have done shoe-related posts before but fashion/shoes is one of my biggest hobbies so here we go again. Also these are just my headcanons, you don't have to agree with what I say. And if I accidentally roast your favorite type of shoe, I'm so sorry in advance.

not proof read

content warnings: none

-----

Lucifer

this man owns at most 3 pairs

and all of them are those classic 'business man who secretly hates his job' type of shoes

like those classic dress shoes and loafers (not the chunky kind)

lucifer's shoes are probably made from some top quality leather too, making them cost around 600 grimm per pair

and he refuses to replace his shoes until they are basically falling apart

Mammon

he gets shoes from those expensive brands, whether they are the real product or not is up to debate (though he insists they are)

mammon's shoes are mostly sneakers, boots and the occasional slides, maybe he has one pair of oxfords for formal events but other than that, it's all casual wear

also mammon kind of strikes me to be the type to set alarms for those sneaker drops, even if they are at 4 in the morning

Leviathan

levi probably doesnt know what his shoe size is

like he'll buy shoes in two sizes too big and laces them up tight so the shoe doesn't fly off while walking and thinks that's how it's supposed to be

levi doesn't own many pairs, maybe two sneakers, one set of flip flops and one pair of crocs

he probably made custom ruri chan and tsl pins for those crocs too

Satan

I've said it before and I'll say it again: satan owns converse and timberlands

imagine satan wearing converse walking into the bookstore with a canvas tote bag

also satan probably owns dad sandals for when it's hot outside and wears them with socks that come halfway up his calves and shorts

yea this dude's style is either 'the mysterious guy reading a book in starbucks' or 'retired dad hosting a bbq party' there's no in-between

Asmodeus

he owns basics with a little twist, like platform dr martens oxfords, and straight up statement shoes

yea you won't catch him in shoes half of the devildom also owns

and asmo probably has not a shoe shelf, but a whole shoe wall in his closet

he owns all kinds of shoes, sneakers, boots, heels, you name it

if there's a particular pair he really likes, he will get it in multiple colors

Beelzebub

another example of a man who doesn't own many pairs

he has maybe one or two pairs of running shoes and for hot weather either dad sandals or flip flops he stole from the 3-pack levi bought from akuzon with his gift cards

no he doesn't own formal shoes, beel will wear a suit with ancient gym shoes without shame, if the event is really important or formal lucifer will force him to wear a pair of his shoes

Belphegor

most of his shoes are fluffy house slippers actually

but he wanted some boots that could last a solid few years so he got second hand 1460 dr martens

second hand because he knows breaking them in is basically torture (unless you are literally the chosen one) and belphie is in no mood to suffer for shoes

sometimes he steals shoes from either beel or satan though

[sapphirefallschronicles]

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 6 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: Abigail and Livia have a girl's day.

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: none

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

I’m a few minutes early, so I wait for Livia in front of the cafe. Last night was quite something. While it was good to see everyone again, I’m still a bit confused because I had to face Chris. We both acted like nothing happened, but we both knew that wasn’t the case. 

I’ve changed a lot over the years, and while I wouldn’t address it eleven years ago, I’m seriously considering doing it in the next few days.

And then Livia. The thing with Livia is, is that while we look nothing alike, our personalities appear to resemble one another. Saying and thinking the same, it creeped people out sometimes, which we found funny. Our looks on the other hand, could not be more different. She is tiny and small, while I’m tall and big. I always felt a little self-conscious next to her, but she has never, ever, said anything vicious about it. 

‘I thought I was early,’ Livia says as she approaches me. She looks stunning as always wearing a black and white checkered coat, with a blush pink dress covered in flowers.

‘Well, you know farm life. It starts insanely early, and for my mood it’s better I leave as soon as possible,’ I smile. 

‘Then let’s get coffee. I know a chai latte always cheers you up. But you do need to tell me more about Honey Bee Farm, and what you are still doing there,’ Livia says. 

●・○・●・○・●

Reconnecting with just Livia, is easier opposed to when the guys are lurking too. I’ve been telling her all about the farm, while she talks about New York City. I do feel a stab of jealousy when I hear her talking about her apartment, looking out over the busy city. However, we’ve moved on from the basic things. We’re now talking and laughing about the juicy things. 

‘No, but lemme get this straight: you’ve been dating a guy named Ian?’ I ask Livia, as we’re both holding a cup of coffee. She told me in rapid speed about her ex-boyfriend.

Livia scrunches her nose. ‘Don’t even start. It’s hard enough his name is Ian, no need to put salt into the wounds.’

I bark out a laugh. ‘This is terrible.’

‘Well, who did you date? Let’s laugh about your ex-boyfriends.’

‘Oh, wow. You are wasting no time I see?’ I laugh. We start walking through the streets of Sapphire Falls, turning away from the busy main street, towards the fields and Sapphire Lake. ‘I dated here and there, but nothing worked out I guess.’

‘I need more details than that, Abigail.’

I sigh, knowing Livia, she would pry until she got answers, so I decide to take the easy road and tell her. ‘I dated this guy named Oliver, do you remember him? He is a year or two older than us, and went to our school as well,’ I start.

‘Oh, I know him. He had quite the questionable haircut back in the day, right?’

‘Mhm. Well, we met up with each other a couple of times, but always at his place. When I suggested going to a restaurant or cafe, he totally shut that down. Right there I made my own assumptions, and left. A man that doesn’t want to be seen with me in public is not a man I deserve.’

‘Amen to that. What an asshole! I swear, if we run into him, I’m gonna beat his ass,’ Livia says, the steam nearly coming out of her ears. 

‘I would love to see that,’ I laugh. Oliver is twice Livia’s size, so that should be interesting. I’m still betting my money on Livia though. 

‘And then there were a few other guys, but no one was ‘the one’ you know?’ I continue. ‘So here I am, still single and ready to mingle at thirty years old.’

‘You know who’s also single and ready to mingle?’ she asks. ‘Our NBA Chris.’

Of course Livia would say something like that. She’s a goddamn writer after all. But since our reunion was only yesterday, I still have a lot to process. I’m not ready to talk about that yet. ‘It’s nice to see him again,’ I say. ‘I hope he heals from his injury soon.’

She offers me a cocked eyebrow, totally knowing I’m dodging what she’s truly trying to say. ‘Hey Livia, why don’t you go stand over there so I can take a few pictures of you?’ Changing the subject it is. 

●・○・●・○・●

After I took a few pictures of Livia, and she took some of me, we continued our walk, reaching the forest next to Sapphire Lake. It was nice to have someone in town capable of taking pictures. I had tried teaching Sy, but gave up on that many years ago, accepting his mediocre skills and relying on great filters and cropping to make it appear decent. 

‘I’m sorry I missed the funeral,’ Livia suddenly says. ‘I really didn’t mean to.’

I simply nod. ‘I know.’ 

‘I should’ve kept in touch will you.’

‘It’s alright Livia, you had your reasons to leave, we understood. We followed your career, mom was your biggest fan. She always had Sy run to the store when you published a new book. He secretly got two copies every time, thinking me and mom didn’t know,’ I chuckle. 

Livia looks at me in shock. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah, it was quite endearing. He wanted his own copy, because he didn’t want to wait for mom to finish it.’ 

‘Did he ever read the books?’

‘I don’t know.’

Livia runs her fingers through her hair. ‘I missed you all,’ she then admits. 

I wrap my arm around her shoulders and we stay like that for a couple of seconds. Just looking over the lake. 

I missed you all too. 

●・○・●・○・●

Once I’m back at the farm, I am quick to find Sy as he’s organizing the logs. I lean against the doorpost and say: ‘It’s nice to have the gang all back.’

‘Sure.’

‘You… Missed them?’

‘Mhm.’

It is absolutely impossible to sometimes have a decent conversation with him. ‘She missed you, Sy.’

He doesn’t say a thing. Instead he stops organizing and looks to the side. ‘What about you?’ he asks. ‘Something on your mind?’

I don’t want to work on the farm anymore. I want to live my own life, not follow in mom’s footsteps. ‘No.’

‘You must’ve missed Chris,’ he then says. ‘It’s disgusting to see those pining looks.’

‘Likewise, asshole,’ I bite back. ‘It’s absolutely unbelievable to see the effect of Livia Darmandi on your life.’

He smirks. ‘Well, you better make up your mind about Chris.’ Instead of talking to him about it, I turn around and walk away. I could do it, I could just say to him I don’t want this life anymore, that I’m scared of getting hurt by Chris, but instead I take the high road. I don't want to hurt him even more.

●・○・●・○・●

●・○・●・○・●

●・○・●・○・●

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 4

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Tons of tension starts to form between you and Seb. Also, you fucking smash the egg hunt.

Author’s Note: Our first holiday chapter! Enjoy and take care :3

Table of Contents + Work Summary 

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

The Egg Festival is today.

One of my few memories of life pre-Zuzu was when I visited Grandpa during this time of year. There’s a ton of food, mostly desserts made of fruits and chocolate, and they hold an egg hunt in the afternoon. I remember almost fighting some kid for my last egg — I wonder if I know them now? — and I won, and rubbed it in that twerp’s face. 

I originally wasn’t going to attend the event, remembering it mainly being for kids and their parents. But when I said that to Robin the other day, she wasn’t having it. She invited me to sit with her family so I wouldn’t be alone all day, and insisted that everyone goes. I’m not really looking forward to it, but I appreciate the gesture, and at the very least get along with her and Seb to a certain degree. What’s the worst that could happen?

To dress for the occasion, I put on a white, long sleeve bodysuit and fit a lavender colored, cotton, overalls-style skirt over it. For shoes, I opt to wear my white platform sneakers with tall pink socks under them. Finally, I pin some matching pink ribbons into the bands of my braided pigtails to be extra festive.

When I arrive at the town, there’s a giant carpet in the middle of the square. The only local kids we have, Jas and Vincent, are running around in the grass with a few kids I don’t recognize. I’m assuming they’re either relatives, or tourists. Pam is spiking all of the fruit punch oh my fucking god, and everyone else seems to be mingling in groups. 

I greet Pierre, who’s behind a booth selling stuff, because of course he is. Dude’s in a capitalist chokehold. Sure he has to make a living, but still. Poor Caroline is seated in the grass next to the booth, picking apart some leaves. She looks dreadfully bored.

While browsing Pierre’s holiday wares, I spy a super cute stuffed bunny that I really want, but decide not to buy it. Not yet, at least. Don’t wanna carry it around all day, if I’m being honest. I purchase some prismatically colored rock candy and move to my next location while crunching on it.

I spot Robin next, so I say “hi” and thank her for inviting me again. I don’t linger for long, as she’s mid-conversation with some other moms.

After that, I kinda just… wander a bit. I’m becoming painfully aware how little I actually know the people that I know who are here. Yoba, there are people everywhere , something I’m not great at coping with. Since when is this little town such a popular holiday attraction? I hate this so much.

Those two friendly and pretty people I ogled at from across Stardrop, whose names I learned in passing are Leah and Elliot, are lounging around by the edge of the river. The most beautiful farmcore elf motherfucker I’ve ever seen, and her equally as beautiful, romance novel-lookin’ friend (or more?)… sigh. I think back to when I saw them at the saloon, and wonder if they even remember me. It’s not like we spoke, but should I try and say “hi” anyway?

“Hey, you.” 

I turn around and I’m eye-to-eye with bright blue, heavily eyelined orbs. 

“Abby! What’s up?” 

“Oh, just scoping out the land, planning my route for the egg hunt.” 

“You’re participating? I thought it was, like… a kid thing.”

“It is. But I still compete every year. Sam does too, sometimes.” 

“Maybe I’ll try it out then,” I think out loud.

“Try all you want,” Abby basically threatens, “I take it very seriously. I’m the reigning champion around here.”

She tries to size me up. Alas, we’re both very small, and she’s wearing a pair of floppy rabbit ears on her head. It doesn’t intimidate me in the slightest. I respect the effort, though.

“You’re on.” I laugh, albeit nervously, trying to brighten the super tense mood she created. Why is she so competitive? It’s a fuckin’ egg hunt against children . Is she always like this?

“Oh!” Her demeanor changes as she looks up and behind me. “Hiya Sebby!”

Sebby? I’ve only heard his mom call him that. Sounds gross coming out of the mouth of anyone under 40, I note to myself. I look back briefly to greet Sebby . My heart flutters a ton when I look up to say hello, and he’s already softly grinning down at me.

He looks forward to Abby, not responding to her greeting, and cocks his head to the side briefly. “Sam’s lookin’ for you.”

She scurries away, and I turn around to more appropriately greet the friendly neighborhood emo man. 

Everyone has some pastel or earthy colors going on in their outfits, and for the first time, I’m actually witnessing Seb not wear all black. 

His jeans are light blue and ripped with black fishnets underneath, and he’s sporting a grayish-brownish henley up top. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and despite the shirt only having 4 buttons, he has 3 of them undone. It’s all accompanied by a black, plain choker necklace and a black smart watch. I’ve never seen his forearms, I don’t think… they’re nice. This look suits him. Is that a tattoo on his wrist, or a birthmark? I think it’s a tattoo. It’s small, I wish I could make it out. 

“You alright?” he asks in a hushed, almost somehow seductive voice, and shoots me a wink when our eyes meet. Oh he’s fully aware that I was practically just basking in his presence. Wonderful.

I give him a stiff nod. “Does Sam need her so they can plan their MLG egg hunting strategies or something?” I joke, trying to cause a distraction.

Seb chuckles knowingly, but allows the subject change. He shakes his head and mumbles, “I’ve got no idea where he is.” Confused, I tilt my head, which prompts him to explain. “It looked like you needed saving. I think he’s off talking to Victor somewhere.”

“Victor?”

“We went to high school with him, he lives in the city now. He’s pretty cool, for a rich brat,” he answers. “I’m sure you guys would get along nicely.”

To be honest, I don’t know if I can handle talking to any of the strangers around here, considering how many there are. I already feel so overloaded from the voices, and smells, and other miscellaneous things that my senses are trying to take in.

“Yeah, maybe,” I meekly respond. 

Seb seems to sense my anxiety, and reassures me. “It’s okay if you’d rather not. There’s a lot of people here… it’s fucking terrible,” he laughs. 

“It really is.” 

“Yeah… unfortunately, it’s not the worst thing about all this, though.” He vaguely gestures around with his last few words.

I furrow my eyebrows. “There’s something worse here than people?”

He huffs out a laugh and then eyes me up and down, mischievously. “You have terrible manners and I find it highly offensive.”

“What are you on about?”

“I didn’t get a ‘thank you’ for shooing Abby away.” 

After a brief, dead stare, I give him a loud, over-the-top gasp and cover my mouth. “Oh, how could I?!” I answer, mimicking a southern belle to my best ability. “Thank you so much Mister Sebastian, Sir! My hero!” I curtsy for added effect, before going dead-pan and snarking, “You want a medal?”

“Oh,” he raises his eyebrows, an incredulous look written on his face. “By all means, I can just call her back over and let you fend for yourself.”

I know he’s probably bluffing, but I suddenly feel small and fearful, anxiety about all these new faces being on full-blast today. “Please don—”

He puts his hand on my head, a gesture that shuts me up instantly as I squint a glare up at him. He cares to avoid the bulk of my braids, as to not mess them up, and rubs a little. Why… do I like this so much?

“I wouldn’t actually do something that cruel.”

“Thanks...” I roll my eyes.

“Unless you wanted me to.” 

“What do I look like, some kinda masochist?”

He devilishly grins, paired by a low, evil hum of a laugh emitting from him. Oh my god, that was so hot.

“(Y/n), (y/n), (y/n)…” 

He trails off in a lower volume than usual with each tsk of my name, and leans down to level with me. His hand is still palming my head — not super tight, but firmly enough to ensure that I have no choice but to look at him. I could easily tug myself away with a little elbow grease. For a freaky, entirely self-indulgent reason, I don’t. 

“You looked very natural, going all red in the face after I caught you eyeing me up before.”

I feel my heart thump in my chest.

“And given you’re just letting me take control of you like this,” he boldly continues, his grip on my head tightening a slight bit as he ever so slight bobbles it around a little, “you’ve probably got some naughty, masochistic fantasies going on in that brain o’yours, don’t you?”

…Oh my god?

My eyes feel like they’re gonna bulge out of my skull. My mouth is agape. Feels dry. I can’t halt the small squeak that comes out of me. 

How does he expect me to respond to that ? I mean, I’d be able to stab back just fine if he were wrong. But he’s not. But I’m not gonna just say that. And denial won’t get me anywhere. But again, I obviously can’t just be like Yes, you’re right, actually. Fuck me up daddy. Right?

“Er…” I mumble. 

“Just kiddinggg,” he sings, even though he definitely was not just kidding.

Before I can process how to fight back, Seb takes both of my braids in his free hand, and gives them a quick, yet firm, tug. 

I gasp at the temporary sting it leaves behind on my scalp, and goosebumps sprout across my skin – thank Yoba I’m wearing long sleeves. My eyes shut and I clasp my hands over my face, which feels like it’s on fire. 

Another evil laugh escapes the dickwad standing before me. This one’s dramatically less hot than the first.

__________________

Seb and I are sitting at his family’s table, ignoring the scientific conversation going on beside us. We’re mildly blitzed up on Pam’s special fruit punch and the various spring-themed candies scattered around, and have just finished devising my strategy for the egg hunt:

I’ll run to the top corner of the square near the water. From there, I’ll make my way down the riverbank, and back to the middle once I reach the roped-off area. Seb hinted that Lewis usually tosses an egg or two in the bed of his truck, so I should climb in there if I have the time to take a look.

He also told me that Willy likes to hide his own egg without anyone knowing, so that it never gets cleaned up, and stinks up the place in a few weeks. A truly evil prank. I love it. He caught the old fisherman putting his contraband into a flower bed last year, so I’ll be sure to check any of those that I pass by, in case he did it again.

Seb wants Abigail to lose, just once, as she was apparently truthful in implying never does earlier. I’m more than up for the challenge. He offered to set up traps, to “accidentally” trip someone, anything to help. It’s hilarious and appreciated, but I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Being the cynic he is, it took some bickering to convince him to not interfere.

“Alright, kids, gather ‘round!” Mayor Lewis shouts from the clearing in the middle of town.

“Ok maggot, are you ready to absolutely destroy some children?!” Seb hypes me up. 

I stifle laughter, but promptly break, not used to this energy from my usually mellow coach. “Sir, yes sir!” I reply, standing up and saluting him.

“Go get ‘em, tiger!” He doesn’t even try to contain his volume, earning a few looks. Seb’s laughing with me as he gives me a rough pat on the back — ouch, what the fuck — before sending me off. 

When I get to the line, my laugh simmering down, Abby’s watching me as if I’m her prey. Not in a sexy way, unfortunately, but rather a murderous one. I break the awkward stare-off and look at Sam, who mouths a jovial “good luck!” my way. What a good boy.

After giving instructions and handing out our baskets, Lewis blows a whistle, and we’re off. I run to my starting point, ignoring a nearby egg that I watch Vincent waddle towards. I refuse to pummel a child today, no matter how tempting. I seek out one in a salmonberry bush, another in the dirt against Penny and Pam’s mobile home, and a few in Lewis’ hedges. 

“30 seconds!” I hear Lewis call out. 

I lift a foot onto one of the tires of his truck, hurdling myself into the trunk from there — and Seb was right! I hit a jackpot coming here. The bed is decorated with flowers, garland and stuffed animals, and there’s a few eggs scattered within it all, in camouflage. I jump out without giving it much thought, practically crashing into Sam. 

“Ah! Sorry!” we shout, simultaneously, cautionary hands on each other's arms as we separate.

“10 seconds!” 

“Shit,” I whisper to myself.

I run past Lewis’ garden, grabbing an egg out of it. It’s unpainted, so I assume this is Willy’s. Feels bittersweet, ruining his demonic tradition. But I can’t linger — eyes on the prize, (y/n)! To finish off the competition, I sprint to the small and oddly-located graveyard. I manage to snag the last egg I spot from between a headstone and a shrub, just as the final whistle blows.

Pushing some stray hairs away from my face, and huffing from all the movement, I spot Seb watching me from against a nearby lamppost. I smile wide, giving him a thumbs up with my free arm. He chuckles and does the same, his other hand sporting a gigantic, spherical lollipop rather than his usual cigarette.

I hand in my basket and walk over to Seb while Lewis readies the results. “Oh I killed it dude,” I brag, hands on hips. 

“I can tell,” he giggles, “you looked intense out there.” 

“All for you, babyyyy.” I exaggerate the “baby” part so he doesn’t think I’m flirting or something. Even though I totally sort of am. I’m bad at subtleties, aren’t I?

“Yeah?” 

I nod. “I don’t care about winning, I just wanted to kick Abby’s ass. And you encouraged me, so,” I cheekily shrug.

He laughs, like a genuine full-hearted laugh, unleashing a billion little butterflies in my tummy. I think his laugh is my favorite ever. “You little menace.”

We don’t say much for a bit, as we patiently await the results. I decide to go try to swipe a lollipop of my own from the food table, but when I get there I find out they’re all gone. Seb offers to share his.

“What do you mean, share it? I’ll have to like, put it in my mouth, ya know? It’s not something I can just bite and hand back.”

“Yeah, and?”

“You’re okay with eating something that’s literally covered in my saliva?” I deadpan. 

“(Y/n), I wouldn’t have offered it if I cared. Now, unless you’re skeeved out by it, eat the damn candy,” he says, holding it up to my mouth.

I stare at him, a blank expression on my face as he expectantly raises his eyebrows and grins very smugly. He waves it a little, swatting my hand down when I reach to take it from him. This is… extremely intimate, I think, glaring at him as he inserts his lollipop into my mouth. 

The innuendos I could make here are absurd, but frankly, I’m scared to comment, given his spicy charade with me earlier. Don’t think my panties could handle any more of that.

Another few moments go by. I lazily play with the end of one of my braids as Seb and I silently pass his lolli back and forth.

“Results are in, folks!”

We both perk up hearing this, and Seb follows me to the middle after I urge him to. He’s the reason I found so many eggs, ultimately — if I win, it’s his win too.

“And the winner is…” 

A few of the kids, sitting on the rug below us, tap at the ground like they’re preparing a drumroll. Cutest shit I’ve ever seen.

“(Y/n!)” 

I beam at Seb and hand him back the lolli before meeting Lewis for my prizes: a cute straw hat with a white ribbon tied around the middle, and 1,000 bucks. No wonder Abby cares about winning this so much.

She came in a close second, with 3 eggs less than me, and in third place was Jas. They both got participation medals. Abby looks pissed and Jas looks like she’s about to cry… hm. Rather than returning back to my spot in the circle, I find Marnie in the crowd. 

“Hiya, Miss (Y/n)!” she greets me, visibly confused. 

“Hey! So,” I rush, feeling a little embarrassed, “Jas looks really upset that she didn’t do better.”

Marnie shrugs. “Happens every year. I’m sure she’ll have her chance someday.”

“Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about that,” I grin. “I want you to take some of the money. That way she can pick out her own cute hat, and, like, plushies from Pierre’s stand over there or something, I dunno.”

Marnie puts her hand to her mouth. “(Y/n), my goodness, you don’t have to do that!” she assures me. 

“I want to! I already had my own childhood fun to experience. She deserves it.” That second sentence was a whole lie, my childhood was rough , but Jas deserves way better than what I had.

She pulls me into a big bear hug, happy- sobbing into my shoulder, spilling “thank you”s and “Yoba bless you”s all over my shirt. It catches me off guard, but I’m happy that she’s happy nonetheless. 

I hand her half of my earnings, throw my new hat on top of my head and head back over to Seb. 

“What was that about?” 

“I made a peace offering with Jas’ aunt.”

He furrows his brows, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk.

“Speaking of which, you deserve some of this too.”

I hand Seb the rest of my prize money. I was doing okay without 1,000 extra gold, thanks to the inheritances that came along with the farm. I’ll live if other people can enjoy the prize. Plus, the hat is sick, I’m happy with just keeping this. Seb’s about to try and deny the money, handing it my way, but I shove his hands back towards him as Abby struts over.

“You’re an interesting lady, (y/n),” she observes. “What was the point in winning if you’re not even going to keep the prizes?”

I shrug. “It wouldn't feel right keeping something meant for the little ones and their families all to myself.” 

She glares at me, trying to find something to argue with, but it softens as she lets out a sigh. She looks around, visibly guilty. Marnie’s telling Jas the good news, I assume, because the little girl’s hopping around like she just won a pony or some shit. Abby spots them and smiles. It looks genuine; maybe she’s actually nice under her cold, edgy demeanor.

“Whatever, nerds.” She rolls her eyes at us before walking away.

__________________

At the end of the festivities, Seb takes the long way to the mountains to walk me home. We’re both drowning ourselves in mini chocolate eggs that we stole — as if the absurd amount of food Robin kept bringing to our table, and multiple cups of punch, wasn’t enough. 

I’m taking care to not get any of the chocolate on the giant stuffed bunny I caved and bought from Pierre. Named her Eggy.

Not sure if Seb is just super happy about our win, or if he’s still rushing on the sugar we’ve been consuming, but he’s full of life right now and I’m honestly kind of obsessed with it. 

“Go long,” he nudges me, mouth full of candy, getting ready to throw a chocolate that he just unwrapped.

Stakes are high, that thing’s done if it touches the ground. I refuse to waste chocolate, damn it!

I jog down the dirt path a bit, catching the little egg in my hand. Victory . I pretend to spike it at the ground, promptly shoving the snack into my mouth after.

“You sure you’re okay walking back up there alone?” I ask when we make it past the gate to my farm. 

He waves a hand, “I take walks in the mines sometimes when I can’t sleep. I can handle the backwoods on my— ”

“You do what?!” I quietly screech, halting on my stoop. “You could get killed, dude!”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“Do you at least bring a sword?”

“Of course! I’m reckless not stupid.”

I sigh. “Whatever, just be safe…” 

He smiles, “No promises.”

“Sebastian!” 

“Goodnight, (y/n),” he sings.

I sigh. “Goodnight… Sebby.” I snicker, feeling his eyes burning holes into my back as I enter the house.

[emeraldspiral]

Who wants to see some old cringe selfies of vintage millennial fashion?

So, the backstory behind most of these pics is way back in 2010 I got a job at Target for a few months and during that time most days I had to wear a red top with khakis as my work uniform and I very quickly started to get bored with the monotony. So I decided to do some bathroom photoshoots of the different outfits I had at the time besides the red tops I was wearing every day. I pretty much don't have a single one of these articles of clothing anymore, except for a couple of necklaces. Most of these I think I got rid of because I gained a lot of weight after I got a car, if not because my tastes evolved or they fell apart on me.

This first collage is a bunch of all black outfits.

The scarf I'm wearing in the first one was a souvenir my sister got me from the gift shop at Alcatraz when she was on a school trip. It's got a fake stamp printed on it that says "Rejected: Too Cute".

Second outfit, I think I got from Forever 21, both the dress and the thigh high boots.

Third outfit was probably mostly made of JCPenny pieces. I used to wear it to a lot of job interviews, not that it helped because the job market sucked almost as much back then as it does today. Also, those heels were from Payless and although they were cute, they were absolute murder on my flat feet. I held onto that tie for a long time with no shirt to wear it with because they don't really even make women's blouses anymore that button all the way up and even when they do, I can't wear them because all button-up blouses gape on me. Also, can't really find vests anymore, for that matter.

Fourth outfit I think I got from Value Village.

First outfit bottom row came from Kohl's and I bought it after only looking at the hanger and not the actual tag, but despite the dress being an XS and me wearing a medium at the time, it miraculously stretched far enough to fit, so I kept it.

The off-shoulder top I got from a local retailer that is actually still in business today with a handful of locations that have shifted to different suites around town over the years, but never shut down.

The velvet outfit I believe was either a hand-me down or an old church outfit that used to be knee length before I cropped it into a hi-low skirt.

All of these outfits by the way I wore in my late teens and early 20s to school and walking around town before I had a car. Nothing I own now or have ever owned is a date outfit because I don't go on dates.

First outfit in this teal/turquoise set is probably my most cringe. That headband was really ugly with my short hair, and I don't think that long top over a short skirt and cropped hoodie combo was a good look.

The top from the second pic came from a gift shop at Niagra Falls from a school trip I went on my junior year of high school. It originally had black felt ribbons, but the first time I washed it I didn't realize the ribbons weren't sewn on, so they came off and got destroyed, so I replaced them with turquoise ribbons that were sewn on.

Third top I'm pretty sure came from Gottschalks before it went bankrupt and got replaced by a Forever 21, if that doesn't carbon date me like the fossil I am.

The top in the first two pics on the bottom row I used to normally wear with a pair of black jeggings. Hear me out though, these were not yoga pants with a fake denim print slapped on top, they actually had texture like real jeans and I think a button and zipper even. The pockets were still fake, but they were actually sewn-in faux-pockets like they have on normal pants, not a print. They were basically just very thin, very elastic form-fitting jeans I wore so I could have a smoother silhouette under long shirts. I actually still own the necklace I'm wearing with that top, but I never wear silver anymore, so it's getting donated soon.

Last dress in the teal set is another piece I got from the same place my off-shoulder top came from. I might've even gotten them at the same time.

First top I got from a specialty online goth fashion shop. I actually didn't have my own credit/debit card at the time because I was still in high school, but my sister told me if I gave her money and she didn't think it was cringe/inappropriate for school, I could show her things I wanted to buy online and she'd get them for me. So that star top was one of the things I got along with the goggles and fingerless gloves seen in other pics, and an assortment of other accessories from when I was deep in my Hot Topic Mall Goth Invader Zim-core aesthetic phase.

The corset I'm wearing in the next three photos had no boning in it, so it wasn't uncomfortable to wear, except for the fact that it didn't stay in place or hold its shape like a corset should. I got that corset from a local retailer that closed down, in a mall that has since become a dead mall.

In the middle row, I believe I got both the top and the cardigan from Forever 21.

The brown outfit in the middle of the middle I think I got from JCPenny, except the green top, which came from Forever 21. Shoes might've come from Payless. That was my second go-to job interview outfit and I miss it a lot. I tried looking for those pieces on Poshmark once so I could recreate it. But it turns out the brown top and skirt actually came from the junior's section, so there's no way even the largest size I could find it in would fit me now.

I think the silky green skirt and the green sweater in the next couple of pics also came from Forever 21.

The butterfly top on the bottom row I think came from the same store where I got my corset. I don't wear heels anymore, but I also don't wear converse anymore either because zero arch support is just as uncomfortable as heels on my flat feet. I don't wear headbands either because they aren't comfortable anymore. Every one I try just squeezes my skull too much.

The green bustier-looking top is another one of my most cringe outfits because it was constantly rolling up.

The next top after it is also pretty cringe, cause it's just an unflattering shade of neon green.

The last outfit was one of my most frequently worn from late high school and throughout college. I used to wear it with a pair of dangly guitar-pick shaped GIR earrings that my sister got me when she went on a trip and got to visit a Hot Topic before we had one locally. At some point I swapped out the GIR earrings for a pair of zipper pull earrings because my sister told me the GIR earrings don't go with the rest of the jewelry I wore with it.

The navy crop jacket was another Forever 21 piece, and I think I got those agonizingly painful booties from there too.

Then there's my Butch Girl Style Icon Dib Membrane shirt that I had to alter to fit right because it only came in a men's size.

The next outfit below was a hand-me down velvet shirt/jacket thing that I turned into a dress.

Last outfit is probably my oldest. I think most of its components I got as far back as middle school, and I think they were hand-me downs even then.

I used to love that purple cardigan until it got stretched the fuck out in the wash. I think it came from the same place as the off-shoulder top and the teal dress.

The next top I believe was another Gottchalks piece I might've had as far back as middle school. It used to be a hideous brown/olive green until I dyed it, but it was already getting threadbare even then.

The purple cowl-neck outfit I think I also got from the same place as the purple cardigan.

Last outfit is another one of my most cringe outfits with yet another overlaying piece that rolled up all the time.

Closeups of some necklaces I wore in some of the above pics. I actually still have the black flower necklace, but that's another one that's getting donated soon because I don't wear silver anymore. I totally forgot it used to have another black chunky chain attached before I removed it. The soda tab necklace I made myself and painted with nail polish. I actually made several necklaces and bracelets out of soda tabs, some of which I handed out to my friends.

Bonus:

Me in one of many iterations of a black belted jacket I've worn throughout the years. I don't have this specific jacket anymore, but once I started wearing them, I've never not owned a long, black belted jacket as my main staple piece of outer wear. So I've never really escaped my Zim-core roots.

This pic was taken by somebody at my college paper. They saw me waiting for classes to start and wanted a picture of me for an article on fashion. I got a few copies to show my family, but they also posted the article online. Not a lot of people saw it and there were only a couple of comments, but none of them mentioned my outfit and one of them said something to the effect of "None of these outfits are in style and the writer of his article has no business giving out fashion advice cause everyone knows Alaskans are always 5-10 years out of date on the trends".

[forestwhisper3]

Plans to watch MM tomorrow, so I'll finally be able to come back to Tumblr and not worry about spoilers. Just popping in for a moment because while I have been able to do some writing for my fics, I was also goofing around a bit with a random idea that wriggled into my brain while at work, and I thought I'd share it. It's an MCU/Rottmt crossover.

Basically, the premise is that the mystic stuff going on during the fight with Shredder was strong enough for Loki to sense from Asgard, and he gets curious since, as far as he's aware, Midgard shouldn't have anything like that anymore. As he was already looking for a reason to take a break since Thor and the others were getting unbearable with talks of the Coronation becoming more serious, he decided to sneak out for a while to investigate. Yada yada, stuff happens, he meets the boys and somehow finds himself absorbed into their collective as an uncle figure/third dad. He doesn't really fight it.

However, someone decides to take advantage of his absence, and everything leading up to the Avengers movie still ends up happening. Needless to say, he's not happy to have to deal with that during his day out with the boys.

This is all pre-Krang, by the way, so having to face this first invasion would definitely affect how they act during the movie. Am I aware the timelines (as in the years that these events take place in their respective universes) don't match up at all? Yes. Yes, I am. However, I am choosing to purposefully not think about that and just let myself have fun with this. Now, here's a little segment I wrote. Enjoy. :D

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You will all fall before me."

"I highly doubt that," a smooth, familiar voice cut in.

Tony froze- an idle part of his mind noting how the hand gripping his face seemed to do so as well -and his eyes widened as he saw another Loki standing there. Unlike the one with the staff, however, this Loki was dressed much more casually in comparison- worn jeans, a T-shirt, and his hair tied back in a low ponytail.

And he did not look happy.

"You," staff Loki hissed, although curiously enough, Tony could see a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

"Me," casual Loki drawled before his arms uncrossed and he walked towards them, steps measured and purposeful.

"I was gone for one year," he began, voice irritated in the way only one who constantly had to deal with the stupidity of others could be. "One. Year! Practically nothing for Asgardians, and everything falls apart. All I wanted was a break, a bit of time for myself, but noooo. Clearly, even that was asking for too much."

He blinked. That…was not what he was expecting to hear.

"Uh…who are you?"

"How dare-!" staff Loki started before he was immediately up in the air, bound together by some invisible ropes or something and unable to speak.

Now free, Tony worked his jaw as he watched this crazy turn of events. Hey, the longer things stalled, the more time the others had to do what they needed.

"Quiet, you half-rate magician!" Casual Loki snarled before walking over and picking up the staff where it had fallen to the ground. "I don't even know what I'm more upset about- the fact that you dared to impersonate me in my absence or that no one sensed anything was amiss!"

Judging by how his expression darkened at the last bit, Tony was willing to bet which one bothered him more, and damn if he didn't feel a bit bad for the guy. Yeah, this was all confusing as fuck, but he knew what it was like to feel like no one cared enough to notice the important things.

Casual Loki studied the staff in his hands for a second before his eyes widened and he turned to glare at the…fake? Was that really what was happening here? This was seriously the kind of twist he'd expect out of a cheesy b-movie, not real life.

"Where did you get this?" he demanded.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" was the sneered response.

In a remarkable show of restraint unlike anything he'd seen from any Asgardian so far- even Point Break -the real(?) Loki took a deep breath and breathed slowly out of his nose.

"Remember what Dr. Feelings said," he muttered almost too quietly to hear, completely annihilating his trepidation or suspicion towards this new Loki.

There was no way anyone with destruction, world domination, or evilness in general on their mind would go to therapy (and seriously? Dr. Feelings? He hoped that was just a professional name).

Another deep breath, and real Loki finally turned to look at him.

Green.

For a moment, it was all he could see. Green eyes that were as bright and vivid and striking as that emerald he'd tried to buy Pepper once. Compared to the watered-down blue of the fake, it was a wonder Thor hadn't mentioned it. Unless he just didn't notice, which, sadly, sort of tracked with the little he knew about him.

He was really starting to understand why this guy was so pissed off.

"So, lemme get this straight," he said, if only to break the awkward silence he could feel starting to form. "This guy here," he gestured up to the Loki in the air who was scowling furiously at them, "-was pretending to be you? All while you were on what basically amounts to a vacation?"

"It appears so," Loki sighed before he finally gave in and pinched the bridge of his nose. "My sincerest apologies for the trouble. I cannot say I expected such a disaster to result from my time away, but clearly, I have overestimated what little intelligence and reasoning those back home possess."

He held back a cackle of amusement, but it was a near thing, and judging from the way the corner of Loki's mouth twitched, he'd noticed.

"So how'd you know to come here, then?"

"Where do you think I've been?" Loki asked with a huff of laughter.

"No kidding? I thought Asgardians thought we were a little backwater planet. Not exactly the first place I'd imagine for a trip."

"I assure you that Thor only said that because he's an uncultured brute too embarrassed to admit Midgardian technology is beyond his comprehension."

That time he didn't try holding back the cackle.

"How'd you know it was Thor?"

"Please. With that charlatan galavanting about, there is no other the Allfather would have sent. And last we spoke, my brother did not have the most favorable opinion of Midgard."

"Huh…You're the real deal, aren't you?" he asked, the reality of it all sinking in.

This whole time they'd been dealing with someone else. The who still needed to be answered- and that was probably a really important answer now that he thought about it -but this guy was the real Loki. The Loki that Thor talked about with fondness, even if there was grief mixed in. Now that he was getting a chance to have an actual conversation, he could see why Thor had been so defensive of him. He was clever enough to figure things out with minimal information and less closed-minded about things outside his world and culture. He was witty in a way he could appreciate and just…more approachable, in a way. More human.

Completely different from the other guy.

"The one and only," Loki grinned before a more serious expression settled on his face. "Now, we should probably figure out what to do about the portal device on your rooftop."

"Wait, didn't you stop it?"

"I only managed to interrupt the connection process, and even that is taking considerable focus on my end," Loki shook his head. "The best I can do is delay the portal from opening and hope we find a way to shut it down before then."

"How long do we have?"

"Around…eight minutes."

"That little?!"

Loki's brows furrowed. "I do not jest when I say I am one of the most powerful mages in the Nine Realms, but it is precisely for that reason we even have that long. As skilled as I am, I am no match for the power of an Infinity Stone."

"Infini-what now?"

Loki suddenly looked like he'd bitten into a lemon before he looked up at the ceiling as if asking for patience.

"Thor, you absolute oaf," he groaned, sounding like he was just done with it all. "Don't tell me you didn't even figure out this much?!"

"Does that mean it's time for plan B?" a voice asked, seeming to come from Loki's forearm.

A forearm that had a strange, glowing symbol of some kind floating above it, and how had he not noticed it until now?

"Yes," he sighed. "I suppose it does. But be careful. Let Donatello try to disable the device before you attempt anything mystic. There's no telling how the two energies will react to one another, and I don't want to risk you getting hurt. I'll never hear the end of it from your father otherwise."

"Ooh, I was hoping you'd say that!" a second voice replied excitedly. "Such beautiful and advanced technology! I can hardly wait to crack this baby open!"

"Nerd!"

"Guys, focus!" yet another voice- and was it just him, or did they all sound really young? -cut in sternly. "You heard what he said! We've only got eight minutes!"

"Technically less now."

"Not helping, Leo."

"We got this!" a fourth voice chirped, somehow managing to sound cheerful and determined all at once. "Don't worry about us! Just do your thing, and we'll do ours, okay? Okay! Good luck, love you, bye!"

There was a crack and a yelp from the other side.

"I'm fine!" the second voice said, sounding a bit muffled. "Just some minor resistance!"

"Dude, why does the machine have a force field?!"

"Shut up! The comm's still on!"

"Oh shit, turn it off! Turn it-!"

The sound cut off, and the glowing circle faded. Loki stared at his arm for a moment, a mix of emotions warring on his face. Concern was one, along with exasperation, but there was amusement there too, and fondness.

"So…kids, huh?" he asked, admittedly curious. "Thor never mentioned being an uncle, but then again, mythology does say differently."

Loki snorted. "So I've seen. I can assure you, Stark, that those stories have been grossly exaggerated."

"You didn't deny it, though."

He grinned when that got an actual chuckle in response.

"I nursed a few animals back to health in my youth," he clarified. "But word of mouth and crude record keeping stretched out over a few hundred years tend to make for a wildly different account of events."

"Like the world's longest and most twisted game of telephone."

"And here I thought I was the ancient one."

That startled a laugh out of him.

"Oh, I like you," he grinned.

He really hoped this wasn't some sort of elaborate trap because he was already attached. He wondered what the odds were for him to convince Loki to extend his vacation after this…

"Now, as riveting as this conversation is, we do have a rather pressing matter on our hands," Loki reminded him. "One that I would like to resolve as quickly as possible lest-"

"LOKI!!"

"Oh for fuck's s-"

He didn't get to finish before he was thrown against a wall.

[ignrance]

everything  there  is  to  know  about  charlotte  wilson  . 

application :

savannah  smith  .  she  +  her  .  cis  -  woman  .  ›  spotted  at  the  met  steps  ,  charlotte  “charlie”  wilson  ,  most  likely  listening  to  helena  by  my  chemical  romance  with  their  airpods  pro  .  the  twenty  -  six  year  old  gained  quite  a  reputation  ,  known  to  be  -frustrating  yet  +irresistible  to  anyone  who  knows  them  .  you'll  easily  spot  them  when  you  hear  about  the  static  feedback  of  a  microphone  when  you  sing  in  it  a  bit  too  loud  ,  the  clinking  chains  of  a  bike  riding  down  a  hill  at  a  speed  that’s  faster  than  you  anticipated  ,  the  sound  of  conversation  that  hushes  into  faint  murmurs  when  you  walk  into  a  room  &  screaming  into  your  pillow  even  though  no  one’s  around  to  hear  it  anyways  ,  followed  by  dior’s  poison  girl  .  latest  nepoupdates  article  talks  about  another  one  bites  the  dust  :  charlotte  wilson  photographed  still  dressed  in  last  night’s  clothes  and  leaving  yet  another  hotel  room  after  a  long  night  out   ,  but  i  guess  any  reputation  is  good  reputation  .

statistics :

name : charlotte " charlie " evangeline wilson birthday : september 25th birthplace : houston , texas age : twenty - six occupation : singer - songwriter ( hayley williams / paramore cc ) , performer , somewhat of a youtube personality on the side

career :

i  miss  you  by  blink  -  182  cover  ,  video  that  sent  her  soaring  to  virality  ,  uploaded  in  2014 

decode  &  i  caught  myself  ,  debut  ep  ,  released  in  2016 

all  we  know  is  falling  ,  debut  album  ,  released  in  2017 

riot  !  ,  sophomore  album  ,  released  in  2019 

took  a  hiatus  in  2020  to  focus  on  school  for  a  while 

riot  !  tour  from  2021  leading  into  the  first  half  2022 

took  a  break  for  the  second  half  of  2022  and  first  half  of  2023 

currently  writing  /  recording  her  next  album  ,  brand  new  eyes  ,  since  fall  of  last  year  ,  of  which  playing  god  will  be  the  lead  single  (  to  release  some  time  this  spring  ) 

past :

tldr : just a girl having fun , comes from the carter family who are a bunch of tech moguls ( women owned , of course ) and basically her family is split because her mom decided to marry / start a family with a rock star instead of marrying someone of more “ notable “ stature like a CEO or someone like that . charlie has one brother , she herself was an accident but that doesn’t mean they loved her any less , she grew up spending most of her childhood on tour with her dad where she learned to play guitar when she was young and hasn’t really put it down since . started living like a normal person when she was thirteen , went to school did the whole nine yards but when she was sixteen she posted a cover of one of her dad’s songs on her youtube channel and litrally went viral overnight . had a bunch of record deals shoved in her face but didn’t want them because she was young and scared so she just kept making music on her own . went to college , studied finance , got a nine to five and then wanted to rip her hair out so she quit and making music and fucking around became her full time job .

you’re a happy accident , emphasis on both the happy and the accident . your mom comes from tech royalty , CRTR ( pronounced carter ) leading the pack in technological innovation ever since the 80s , a long line of strong smart women that would soon be torn apart only because your mother chose love over money . she falls in love with the man who would become your father ,  a rockstar ( think a travis barker of sorts )  who’s mostly exaggerated reputation was one that precedes him ,  and naturally your grandparents hate him for it . it completely tears apart your family , carter stocks tanking along with the family image when the public comes to find out that one of melissa carter’s darling daughters has gotten herself pregnant before she married , and in turn getting exiled from the  line of succession . 

it’s impossible to not fall in love with music . the first half of your life you grow up in a tour bus , surrounded by lots of love and sounds, earmuffs covering your tiny ears as your watch your dad from the side of the stage . any and all free time spent insufferably banging around on drums , watching your parents and their friends try not to laugh as you force them to listen to the new sequence of arrhythmic patterns you’ve managed to stitch together and call a song . when you’re nine you pick up a guitar for the first time and it just feels . . . right . the strap rests so comfortably around your shoulders  , your fingers so perfectly attuned to the weight of the neck in your hand ⸻ from then ,  you’ve never looked back . free guitar lessons had to be one of your favorite perks that came with having a rockstar for a dad , by the time you’re twelve you have at least half of their ten year discography ingrained into your hand by muscle memory , so much though that sometimes ( but only if you’ve done all your homework and chores AND have been extra nice to your brother ) he lets you come on stage and play it with them . 

at thirteen tour is over , and you and your family have to adjust to living a  ‘ normal life ‘ , you move to LA , close to your dad’s work and far enough away from your mother’s family that you’re not forced into the displeasure of seeing them too often , even if they don’t want to see their daughter they certainly want to see you , likely secretly holding onto hope that you’ll be able to restore integrity to your side of the family ( spoiler alert : that doesn’t end well ) . you’re not sure if you love your grandparents or if you’re simply appreciative of them , their money is part of the reason you get to live the way that  you live , their name plastered along the sides of multiple buildings giving you a free ticket to any prep school you want , any college you want ⸻  any life you want , if you play your cards right . 

you start making your own music when you’re sixteen . it’s nothing crazy , an acoustic song here , a guitar arrangement there , you don’t really mean for it to be another other than a silly way to pass your time until a video of you covering one of your dad’s songs , i miss you ( blink - 182 ) , goes completely viral . it’s kind of scary actually , how your entire life you think you’ve known the music industry inside and out but really you don’t . no one could have prepared you for how many sleazy ceos and producers would come out of the woodworks , trying to poach you for less than you’re worth until your mom takes the liberty as stepping in as your manager . she keeps your head on the ground ,  makes sure you focus on the music ( and school ) before anything else , completely unwilling to let her daughter fall into fame so young . 

begrudgingly , you promise your family that you’ll get a degree before any of this spirals completely out of your control . you honestly think you might like life better the way that other people do it , go to college , get a job , work that job for fifty years until you retire and spend the rest of your life in a retirement home in the florida keys . a life away from the chaos , a life that was normal . you study finance and economics and college and you’re shockingly pretty good at it , maybe it’s the unpredictability of the stock market that gives you that fix of adrenaline instead of the fast paced life you were born into . you get your degree , get a job at a highrise in manhattan , working nine to five , staring at excel sheets for so long that most days you have a migraine before lunch . is this really what you thought life was supposed to be about ? that doesn’t last much longer than a month , with your father’s help you sign one of the many record deals that’s been shoved in your face over the last few years and you quit your job within the same week . 

throughout the next few years you live life the way you really want . you make music , you stay out late , you party , you drink , you dance , you have fun . you don’t think it’s a bad thing but the media seems to want to jump at the chance to make you some sort of villain , photos of you doing stupid shit constantly plastered over tabloids and gossip websites , even once alleged to be a homewrecker after they catch you trying to sneak out the side door of someone’s house with your clothes on crooked ( he was just a friend but she was definitely feeding into the rumors just for the laugh ) . your music is a hit , first studio album , brand new eyes , climbing the billboard hot 100 where it peaked at 6 on the domestic charts and 2 on the top rock albums chart , solidifying your name and your sound as one of the new up and coming faces of alternative rock . 

misc. info 

she rides her bike everywhere she can , it’s a red beach cruiser with a little basket on the front for all of her Things 

she has a cat!! a russian gray named helena and that is her baby fr 

her signature hair color is RED !!! sometimes it’ll be black or brown but when it’s red that’s how you know something Real is about to happen

[annadeedee]

I've been looking into the environmental impact of various fabrics, specifically (organic) cotton and linen vs tencel/lyocell, and some of the information online online about the latter seems... wrong? Or at least contradicts my direct experience with the fabrics.

Tencel uses much less water and land than cotton, and emits less total CO2, so it's supposed to be more sustainable. But of course, you have to look at the total lifespan of a garment: if your tencel t-shirt used a third of the water than a cotton shirt, but will fall apart after a year of use, then it seems more wasteful than that Dr. Who tee you got as a present twelve years ago and is still going strong. And here's where I'm confused.

If you google tencel, you'll get hundreds of articles and blog posts, most of them independent from Ecovero (the company that makes Tencel), claiming that it not only uses fewer resources than regular viscose, cotton or linen, but also lasts longer, looks better, doesn't shrink, and so on. But I own clothes made of Tencel! It behaves like viscose! Fancier viscose, sure, but it ages like milk! AND it doesn't feel cooling on the skin on hot days, which is another common claim, and it refuses to hold its shape properly!

I own a dress out of woven tencel, some t-shirts in both 100% lyocell and 50-50 blend with cotton, and a pair of trousers in a tencel-cotton twill.

The dress basically looks and feels like a cheap viscose fast fashion dress, the hems and seams twist and the fabric wants to tear at the seams and fray through them. I've already had to patch it near the pockets after two washes (in the delicate cycle!), because the fabric couldn't handle the weight of my phone.

The T-shirts are flowy, which can be nice, but the surface already looks really old, and again the necklines get twisted because the fabric isn't stable enough to hold its shape. They're serviceable, but that's about it, and if I need to look more polished or professional than my usual "just dragged myself out of bed and into the math department", I wouldn't pick any of them.

The trousers are pretty new and feel like slightly softer cotton twill, so I don't have any complaints so far, but again, the surface is showing some wear after a few washes, and they don't feel like they'll last me as long as regular cotton twill, or even the linen pants I wear every other day in the summer and still look and feel exactly the same as they did three years ago.

TL;DR: I've yet to meet a tencel garment that ages gracefully. If I have to keep replacing tencel clothes every year and they kind of look like like crap after the first month or two, I don't see how that's supposed to be better than sturdy clothes made from organic cotton and linen which will last me decades!

Help me, people. Am I just unlucky, or do others have this experience, too?

[pbandjesse]

I'm very sleepy but I'm very glad that I had a very productive day. I wish I wasn't as exhausted as I was for most of the day. But that is okay. I am in bed now and soon I will be asleep.

Today was good. I slept okay last night. I just didn't get enough sleep. So when I woke up at 7:00 I could not function. I got dressed and tried my best not to be snappy. But I definitely felt a little on edge. James had taken everything downstairs but I asked them to hold my knitting for me so I could hold the bag and the extra stuffed animal I was bringing. And we drove over to the museum.

We stopped to get breakfast and thankfully the Marathon haven't started yet. So while it would be an issue later it didn't really affect us getting into work.

Mostly throughout the entire market I was just very tired. I wasn't as engaged as I could be and I don't know. I was just struggling a little bit. And kept telling me I could go home if I wanted but I wanted to stay till 1:00 because that's what I'm supposed to do. It's not fair if I leave if everyone else has to stay. I shouldn't get special treatment. Even if I am special!

I did make a few sales but I really could have done better. One of the other issues is that because of the marathon people weren't able to drive in so mostly people were just walking. So it was really just the people directly from the neighborhood. And I sold a few things and I had some really nice conversations but I definitely was not as animated as I normally am. I mostly just worked on my knitting and I caught up so I'm all done up till today. So that felt good. We also bought a whole lot of baked goods. Ginny has all of her fall flavors out right now and they are just incredible. We got this apple coffee cake and I got a pumpkin whoopie pie. For sure going to be getting those again.

I really was just looking forward to going home. I only want the museum wants to use the bathroom and say hi to james. And then at the end of the market I packed everything up and said goodbye. James was tired too and both of us had to work tonight. So my only goal was to go home and go to sleep.

When I walked in the house I saw that someone was in the office apartment so I knocked and Tina was there. And I had her come in and look at the counters that are broken. She said that Will will come on Tuesday. And that the reason he hadn't come before was because he was missing a tool or apart we weren't sure. But I will make sure that the kitchen is cleaned for them and hopefully they will be fixed quickly. Or maybe replaced who knows.

I got back in here and changed and washed my face and put on a whole bunch of lotion because my skin felt very dehydrated and dry. I got in bed and pretty much fell asleep right away. I slept until my alarm went off at 4:30. And James was just finishing cleaning themselves up from their bike ride home. And so we basically just swapped places and they got in bed. I went to get dressed again and gave him a couple hugs before I was off. I had had a snack but I didn't eat lunch or dinner. It was not a good plan. Mistakes were for sure made.

I had great time at the museum though. It was a second wedding for a couple that got married last year. This was the Indian wedding and I think the other one was the American wedding. It was beautiful and everyone was in big colors and it was lovely. And I had a really good time hanging out with kristen. She was really sweet and I had a really good time talking to her. We both kind of have similar internet backgrounds and so we're able to talk about stuff that I can't always talk to other people about. Lot of things about dog whistles and politics and weird internet humor that we both touch on. So it was just a really fun conversation. We also just kind of gossiped about this upcoming weekend the museum and how we're going to have all the educators there for a round table discussion and cleaning and stuff. I'm excited to get back into all of my museum things. It's going to be really nice.

I was in the garment loft and honestly almost no one came in. I had some really nice talks about history and how much I love and care about history and antique things with a guest but mostly I just kind of cleaned and organized. I moved a bunch of stuff around that I felt could be displayed better and folded fabric. I also found an entire box of Taylor's chalk. Which has been such an annoying thing that has gotten broken and lost so it was very exciting. And I was just having a nice time. I was tired and hungry but I wasn't miserable. I held it together pretty well. Until it was time to go home.

Me and Kristen sat at the front desk until we were relieved of our duty. We locked up the doors to the galleries and then headed out. I thought I would stop and try to get Chipotle but they had no food left even though they were open for almost two more hours. So that was very obnoxious. And I started getting very upset mostly just cuz my stomach hurt. James said that they would pick me something up but they're not going to be home until almost 10:00 and I was not going to wait that long. So I just came home.

And had given us a loaf of bread from one of the market Sellers and so I ate some of that while I waited for my taquitos to heat up in the microwave. And I feel a lot better now that I've eaten something.

I had a little bit of cheesecake that I got from Ginny. It's raspberry swirl. And then I took a shower and wash my hair. I am now in bed waiting for James to come home. And I'm really looking forward to not having to go to work for the next couple days. I have nothing to do tomorrow and my plan is to clean and organize and start packing my bags for next weekend. I pretty much have everything picked out already but I want to make sure I have it all available and clean. And there's just a bunch of stuff on the ground in the studio that I need to work on. I also hope to do maybe a little bit of art but I'm not that concerned about that tomorrow. It will be a good day.

I hope that you guys all have a nice night and sleep well. Take care of each other. Send some thoughts out for my dad. His surgery is on Tuesday and he's going to do great. But every little bit helps. Sleep good everybody.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary52

11/2-3/2023

thursday - friday

busy today again but in a better way.

i hung out with friends all night basically, we went to olive garden which was fun. surprisingly fine, it's been over 10 years since i've been there. i don't know if i would ever decide to go again, but i basically liked it i think. i didn't get to record today because i woke up late, i need to wake up early tomorrow, not to record, maybe i will, but i have an interview to get ready for, for a local magazine. for some reason they want to talk to me about my music, i guess i know why, a friend is doing this column and she likes how i dress, the column is fashion/music, like how your style informs your music or the other way or profiling you off how you look and the music you make. i'm kind of looking forward to it, even if i found out today that the photographer has dropped out last minute to leave my friend not knowing what to do beyond use her phone camera, which is maybe good enough or maybe not, it depends on the model of iphone you have basically, or if you own one of the nicer phones that has an insanely good camera. i'm also bringing my digicam from 2001 with me if she needs it. hopefully that can help out, but we will see, it can only do 1600x1200 at most, and that's not bad but i think basically every phone takes photos at a higher res, it's just that the lens on my cam is a lot nicer, the focal length is better, all that good stuff. these phone cameras are kind of woeful in a lot of ways basically, the newer ones are really good but like, the older ones seem designed to give people dysmorphia, which everyone has basically. anyways we will see about how the photography portion goes tomorrow. i am so sensitive about how i look in photos so i don't even know if i am going to look at what comes out. i'll have to if i have someone take photos of me with my camera, to send to her. i hope i don't go crazy tomorrow because of that.

anyways my day was eventful but nothing like, crazy. i dunno, that shouldn't stop me from talking about it, but it was a lot of my friend and i talking about music, mostly him talking about his current struggles, in his band, solo, his dissatisfaction with what he's been writing musically lately, the disconnect he feels with bandmates, all that stuff, and it's all his stuff so all i can say is i hope he ends up doing better soon, it's pretty sad to hear his frustrations, and how he seems to feel like he's less in control, and less able to do what he wants, and less enthused about certain things.

unrelated to the above:

i wonder if there's any good way to make anyone reflect on how they behave better. i can't figure out how to help someone know how they make me feel, or what they do that upsets or bothers me, because criticism of them makes them so upset, immediately and without fail they just kind of fall apart, becoming miserable and not really hearing what i'm saying. i guess i can come off too mean, or something, i never want to hurt anyone's feelings but i don't know how to say things like 'i don't like it when you talk over me how you do' and they'd know immediately how they do it often, and feeling like there's no way to take back all those bad feelings, they'd just become guilt ridden and need me to assure them that they're actually fine. which defeats the purpose of me saying anything, right? i don't know. it's easier to talk about it here. it makes me sad i feel like have to, i'd like to say anything, but it's more or less that they can say things to me, and i want them to, but i don't feel okay bringing anything up to them. maybe just putting it here will make me care less. or even how they bring up frustrations, like they said i was making music too loud in my friend's room w/ him, while they were working on homework, but they said it like i was doing it on purpose, and like i was making a loud noise on purpose, but it wasn't because i wanted them to be mad or not focused, i turned it down, of course, i didn't mind that part. it's part of a larger issue of not thinking about how they come across because they've never had anyone really take issue i guess, maybe i'm too sensitive. i like them a lot no matter what i guess, so maybe this just doesn't matter at all, and i am just too sensitive, and the ways i feel are stupid or something. i think because i'm too sensitive and basically stupid i end up being cold, because i can't do anything about how i feel and them wanting me to not be like that, they feel burnt. i think i am the problem here, or i want to say i am because i think i have more control over that, but i can't stop being frustrated sometimes. it's so annoying, i don't want to be frustrated.

anyway i should just go to bed soon, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!

[mushroomwillow]

Something that I guess is trivial but bothers me a lot about my mother inlaw:

Thrifting. She freaks over thrifting. When I told her my favorite pair of shoes I got from goodwill she got so upset she actually took me out and got me new boots. I only wear them when there’s snow out, because I still love the ones I thrifted, and I can wear them all year round.

I cannot tell her when I thrift clothes. She freaks. And by freaks, I mean she does the grossed out face, starts talking about how gross it is to wear clothes that someone wore before. And honestly even more wild to me is she does the same with furniture? Like wood furniture? The idea that we’re keeping an eye on getting new kitchen chairs/table has sent her off on a strange rant about how gross it is? As if she hasn’t owned her table and chairs for years… that has seated dozens of people… some of which they don’t talk too anymore… and like, she’s cleaned it… so why can’t I clean a used one?

It makes no sense??? Idk I’m very pro thrifting. Especially clothes. My body shape has changed a lot over even the last 4 years. I had a baby, I had surgery, I’ve lost and gained weight multiple times, buying brand new clothes just isn’t financially feasible for me. That and the quality of clothes is usually shit anyway and the new stuff falls apart super fast.

It’s almost 1am idk this is bothering me rn because I had to leave everything behind when I moved out here away from my abusive ex. I brought all my daughters clothes and for myself I packed just enough to keep me warm during the winter. So I have to rebuild my wardrobe as I have the money to do so. So I thrift, look for deals, and I’ve never had an issue with used clothes etc. personally I don’t get like, underwear or bras thrifted. However if someone can only afford too, why tf can’t they???

Omg and I mentioned finding a wedding dress that I love and wished I had grabbed the moment I found it. Instantly she was online looking for dresses. All of them weren’t me, nothing I wanted, and her version of a “cheap” dress was $500+. I can’t afford that?? Never have been able too? And like??? I can completely personalize a basics used dress for probably half the cost if I buy a used dress? She’ll really freak when she finds out I’m going to thrift/make decor.

Anyway, good night.