#Best Cheese Slicers

[darcyolsson]

22 years on this planet and I still struggle so bad every time I have to remove the rind from a block of cheese it's so embarrassing. no one look at me.

[running-tweezers]

In a STAGGERING feat, I have managed to give myself YET ANOTHER pasta related injury. That’s 2 in one calendar year folks, that has to be some kind of record.

[twiceastasty]

Kitchen Favorites: Cheese Plane

Three generations of Norwegian cheese planes remain favorite tools in my family—including the one I’ve used for more than 40 years. Learn about choosing and using a cheese plane.

It’s been a busy few weeks of workshops and projects, so I’m finally getting a chance to share my latest piece for The Spruce Eats. This was such a fun story to write, because it combines my love of a tool that sees daily use in my kitchen with a bit of family history that let me reach back for memories from my childhood and beyond. It’s funny how sometimes the smallest things can stick with you…

[copperbadge]

I want to fuel your quest for brown cheese a little. Did you know we get special Christmas varieties in Norway?

The dark one is a very dark, almost burnt caramel with a smooth finish and hints of sourness. The lighter one is sweeter and has cardamom added to it. Also smooth, but drier. Both go extremely well with toasted raisin buns, but they're also good with butter on sourdough and other toothy breads. Add apple slices if you want contrast and crunch.

[photo id: Two brown cheeses in a plastic container, dark Bestemorost to the left, wrapped in blue, Julebrunost to the right, wrapped in red. A slice has been cut from the cheese to the left, with a Norwegian cheese slicer tool.]

Ah man, I can't even get the blue wrapper cheese and you're getting seasonal variants! Also thank you very much for doing a photo ID. :D

There must be a cheese shop in Chicago that either stocks or would order gjetost or brunost or bestermorost (best name) or Julebrunost -- which, that's "Yule Brunost" yes? Like my figgy pudding Spam that I turned into a christmas ornament last year. I just need to find them. I was in Whole Foods on Saturday and looked in the cheese case but they only had the Ski Queen red package. :/

Okay. I made it a mission in Europe, I can make it a mission here. I'm adding it officially to the To Do list.

[pianokantzart]

If You Can’t Stand The Heat

One-shot fic. Don’t know if it qualifies as fluff/angst or hurt/comfort, but ptsd is definitely happening.

Mario and Luigi settle into a new home in The Mushroom Kingdom shortly after their victory over Bowser. Both try their best to embrace the new normal, but both have their own struggles wrapping their heads around everything they just survived.

Now posted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46686196

______________________________________

Luigi never had a kitchen to himself before. The moment he and his brother declared themselves homeowners, his entire family, near and far, pitched in to make sure they had everything they needed. The kitchen especially was stocked with all their hearts desired, as everyone in the family had a spare something: cutlery, spatulas, measuring spoons, cutting boards, cheese graters, rolling pins, crock pots, meat tenderizers, bread machines, pitchers, pots, pans, knives, blenders, choppers, slicers, mixers, grinders, peelers, juicers, shakers… Mario tried to explain that they could stock their own kitchen– the plumbing business was going great, they had money now, but nobody listened. In their own loud, pushy, overbearing way, they only wanted to make sure he and his brother were taken care of. They were family, after all.

While Luigi had always pitched in to help cook for big events and celebrations back in Brooklyn, the kitchen was his mother’s domain, kept pristine, efficient, and orderly. She was an unstoppable machine that churned out three multi-course meals a day, all made from scratch. She worked hard, poured her whole heart into every detail, and always made sure everyone was fed and taken care of. Luigi was often told– sometimes condescendingly– he took after his mother, but to him this was no insult. Quite the opposite. At last he had a kitchen of his own, and though he was cooking for a household of two rather than nine it felt like no less of a responsibility, especially given the way Mario had been for the past few days. To anyone who hadn’t lived with Mario his entire life, he seemed fine. Better than fine. He behaved like his usual self, head raised high and a spring in his step, ready to take on the world. Nobody else knew how little sleep he was getting, sitting up in bed while looking back and forth between his brother and the window like a newly-hired guard dog, waiting for the worst. Nobody else saw how his whole body shifted into a fighting stance at the slightest hint of trouble, the worry in his eyes every time Luigi stepped away for longer than a minute.

For as long as Luigi could remember, Mario treated his own life with reckless abandon while treating Luigi’s like it was more valuable than the world itself. It was only two weeks ago that they nearly lost each other, and then found each other, and then saved each other by the skin of their teeth. Luigi, feeling a little guilty, was dead set on seeing to it that all was made right again. He was happy to stick close to his brother for as long as needed, stay up talking for long hours into the night, and manage the plumbing business whenever Mario finally felt calm enough to fall asleep (no matter what time of day it was). But more than anything he kept their new house clean and organized, intent on ensuring every square inch of it truly felt like home– a safe haven where nothing could hurt them. 

Of course, their first home-cooked meal would be a major milestone, and what better way to launch their kitchen than with an old-fashioned Italian pizza? Luigi layered the sauce and the mozzarella on the freshly stretched dough while the oven preheated, singing “Che La Luna” to himself while Mario sat in the living room, trying to beat the first boss of Kid Icarus.

“You sure you don’t want any help, Luigi?” “I said I’ve got this!” Luigi called back, pausing his singing as he added fresh basil leaves and a sprinkle of salt. “I’m almost done. Dinner in five!”

Luigi plucked up the pizza peel by handle and headed toward the oven, pleased with his handiwork. He picked the tune back where he left off, taking a moment to twirl proudly in his apron as he crossed the kitchen floor. “C' 'na luna mezz'u mare Mamma mia m'a maritare!…” He carefully held his creation in his right hand as he leaned down and opened the oven door. “Figlia mia a cu te dare Mamma mia pensace-”

The blast of heat hit him. Luigi suddenly stopped singing. He had been so lost in his own thoughts… he didn’t even expect the oven to feel like this, five hundred degrees fahrenheit slamming against his cheeks like a heavy blow. Blindsided by the sensation, an uncontrollable tremor slowly overtook him, the pizza he had so carefully prepared falling out of his hands, clattering to the tile floor.

“Lu! You okay?” Luigi didn’t hear Mario’s voice. The comforting presence one room over disappeared under an ocean of fear that crashed down upon him, suffocating him. The cozy kitchen, the golden light of evening streaming through the open window, and the smell of yeast and flour evaporated under ash and sulfur, boiling magma lapping at his feet and red-hot iron bending beneath his hands. His heart pounded so hard he felt like it was about to burst, blood rushing to his head and turning his mind inside out while it desperately attempted to grasp reality… This wasn’t real! It was over! He was safe! He was home! He… Heat. He was trapped. He was burning. Luigi leapt back from the oven, hitting himself against the island table as he fell. Hard stone, sharp claws, bony hands, crushing scales, falling debris. Heat. Oppressive, inescapable as death.

“Mario!” Luigi screamed his brother’s name on instinct, unaware he was already in the doorway, rushing to his side.

“Luigi! what’s wrong?” Mario took hold of his brother. Luigi tried to wriggle out of his grasp as though his life depended on it. He shook violently, pressing his hands tightly to his face as he screamed again, voice cracking with terror and desperation. 

“Mario!”

“I’m here Lu! I’ve got you!” With some effort, Mario managed to force Luigi’s hands away from his face. He held Luigi’s cheeks and looked into his eyes– they were wide, tearful, looking past everything toward some undisclosed horror in the middle distance. At last they shifted, returning to the present world, settling upon the face in front of him. He shivered terribly, his breathing shallow, his brow soaked in sweat as recognition finally dawned on him. “… Mario?”

“I’ve got you.” Mario pulled Luigi close, pressing their foreheads together as they sat on the kitchen floor, surrounded by a mess of trampled dough and scattered flour. “I’m here. I’ve got you.” Mario repeated softly, “You’re okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

________________

That night, they had ice cream for dinner. Mario stood in the living room in front of the coffee-table-turned-dessert-bar, and split a tub of butterscotch-caramel between two dishes, topping them with mounds of whipped cream, sprinkles, and cherries. Luigi sat on the nearby couch, wrapped in a quilt, watching his brother divvy out the icecream from a carton that still had the smudged remnants of “Mario’s! Do not touch!” written on the side in sharpie, hastily scratched out at the last minute. 

“You want pecans too?” Mario asked, already popping open the tin. Luigi nodded, tightening the blanket a little further around his shoulders. His hands still shivered as he took the bowl from his brother. He was quiet for a moment, taking a few bites of the ice cream, fighting down another wave of tears that tried to bubble to the surface even now that the worst of the attack had left him. He was miserable. Exhausted. Defeated. “I feel so stupid.”

“You shouldn’t.” Mario sat on the couch, shoulder-to-shoulder against his brother while holding his sundae in his lap. “This is normal, I think. I mean... you went through a lot.”

“You didn’t fall apart like this.” Luigi whined, “You went through a lot too.” “What I went through is different.” Mario retorted, stirring his sundae into a brown, chocolatey slurry with his spoon, “I wasn’t alone like you were. Even from the first moment I landed in The Mushroom Kingdom I had Toad watching my back. You didn’t have anyone.”

Luigi didn’t say anything, he just looked at his older brother. Mario was right, but he didn’t like how guilty he looked while saying it. It wasn’t his fault that they got ripped in separate directions, it wasn’t his fault they ended up where they ended up. He did everything he could. He did amazing, all considering. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Mario asked, breaking the silence between them. “You know… what happened to you while we were apart?”

Luigi took a bite of his ice cream to buy himself time to consider his response. The answer was no, of course, even though Luigi knew talking about it would be good for him. He dreaded the thought of putting his experience into words. Even in the daylight hours, when all was well and the world was as it should be, merely thinking about The Dark Lands made his chest hurt and his hair stand on end. “Can I talk about it tomorrow?” “You can talk about it whenever you like,” Mario assured. He reached his free hand over to Luigi’s shoulder and tugged him into a playful side hug. “You’ve been here for me Lu, but don’t forget I’m here for you too! and I’m gonna keep being here, every step of the way. That’s a promise.”

Luigi smiled. Tears welled up in his eyes, far from the fearful tears that had plagued him moments before. “Mario…” Luigi set his ice cream down on the coffee table in front of him, rubbed his tears away on the palm of his hand, and plucked his little-big brother up into a bear hug. Mario barely had enough time to put his own ice cream down safely before being yanked into the embrace. “…We’re a mess.” Luigi chuckled, sounding happy at last. The shivering was almost gone, his breathing was steady, and his heartbeat was almost normal. Mario noted each of these things while he was pressed against his brother, and couldn’t help but smile as well. He’d be okay. Whether Luigi knew it or not, he was strong as either of them. It would take a bit of time, but they were going to be okay.

“Yeah.” Mario laughed, resting his chin against his brother’s shoulder, “we sure are.”

[hippieghost]

I used to work at a deli when I was younger and I feel like people might not know some of these takeaways so there's a list of strong opinions from a girl with quality meat.

Cutting lunchmeat thinner makes it harder to pull apart, but also increases surface area which makes for a "fuller" sandwich. You're still getting the same amount of meat but the flavor and texture is improved by this.

Cheese is the same, but is much harder to keep from sticking together or falling apart

The secret is to make sure the slicer is sharpened and cleaned regularly, slice SLOWLY, and rotate the block every 4 or 5 slices, then gently lay the cheese down.

Its a pain in the balls and can be annoying for the person slicing so be sure to appreciate them appropriately if you're like me and like stuff super thin.

Different cuts work for different sandwiches. Thick slices are better for frying. Thin is good for like cheese and crackers. Shaved is best for sandwiches but make sure you don't squish the bag.

For cheese, brands actually kind of matter because some cheeses use more cream while others use more oil.

This is especially true for American cheese. Please I am begging you just try the Clearfield or Land of Lakes cheese that they actually slice instead of assuming Kraft singles are all American cheese is it is so much better.

That said, more "oil based" cheese melt faster

Some delis let you call in your order ahead of time. For bigger orders especially I highly recommend this.

A pound of roast beef can be expensive but can make an easy meal for 4 with some long rolls, cheese, and beef bouillon. Just boil some beef bouillon til it to make a simple au jus and throw in the roast beef. Put it on the roll with some cheese and you're done.

You can do the same thing with sliced turkey and a can of gravy.

As a rule of thumb - local delis usually have better quality than grocery store delis OR they're cheaper. Sometimes you luck out and both are true. Shop around.

Seriously, call in your order especially if you like to get stuff shaved. Call before you leave or even tell them a time to expect you.

Another rule of thumb I have is that I will take good cheese over good bread, and good bread over good meat.

A little bit of vegetable oil, salt, pepper, and oregano all on the roll will make your sandwich amazing without making it too soggy.

Ham or bologna cut in 1/4 inch thick slices are perfect for frying. Add egg and cheese to the ham for a decent breakfast sandwich. If you're in the Jersey area this is how thick your pork roll should be too.

If a sale is going on, buy in bulk. Most lunchmeat can be frozen especially if you're using it for hot sandwiches

Remember, you should be nice, but if they won't cut to your specifications, you don't have to buy from them. You can stand up for yourself without being a dick.

I think that's all but I'll add more if i think of any. Thanks for reading!

[pyrepostings]

workplace whump: restaurants

regularly using sharp knives means sooner or later you're going to draw your own blood

Dull knives can also hurt you and worse (take care of your knives)

Ticket stabbers are sharp and a real pain in the hand to slam your hand onto

Some of the worst kitchen injures I see online and in person come from mandolin slicers (likely because the blade never gets sharpened properly)

Regularly using fire means sooner or later you're going to burn yourself

Burning yourself through a wet spot on the towel you grab a pan from the oven with

Grabbing a metal bowl that was left on the flat top that you didn't know was on the flat top with full force and dropping the bowl full of food on the ground and also burning your hand in the process

Hot oil splashing at your face

Dipping your entire hand into the hot fryer (I don't know how this guy has survived till now either but he did do it a second time apparently. Coworkers that should get their own whump prompt post)

Standing all day

Hot as fuck kitchen with minimal air circulation meaning the entire room is hot and humid and you have to wear long black pants, black sleeved shirt, and a hat (Healthcode+dress code)

Exhaustion. Imagine working 10+ hours 5 days a week and then on Sunday being required to work a double on your day off cutting your weekend in half and the one remaining day being spent at your parents house to spend mother's day (because you weren't there yesterday. Because mothers day is a restraunt holiday. Which means you work more not less) so good luck finding time to relax or get chores done before jumping in to another busy week.

Finding things you didn't know could break skin: tin foil seal edges of oil bottles. Edges of sufficiently fucked up cambros that should have been replaced a year ago. Freezer doors where the plastic has chipped off.

Hungry. Stealing food. Figuring out what food is safe to steal. Never eating more than a mouthful at a time. Chef gives you a mistakenly made side Mac and cheese. It's slightly cold but it's the best thing you've ever tasted. By the time you can actually finish it, it's been stone cold for three hours (deluge of tickets ringing in)

Banging your head on the pots and pans hanging up by the sinks.

Shucking oysters means shucking your own hand on occasion (record here is needing 7 stitches I think) don't be stupid with a shucker it's sharper than it looks.

Contracting something from sticking your hand in the dirty silverware bucket.

Stabbing yourself by sticking your hand in the dirty silverware bucket.

[trivialbob]

I love dealing with people who take pride in their work, and they’re nice about it too.

Several times lately I’ve tried making Philly cheese-steaks. I cut the meat as thin as I can, but I want it even thinner.

The grocery store closest to my house has an excellent butcher shop. The selection is amazing and it’s extremely clean. One of these times I am going to try one of the $42/pound cuts, after I practice preparing several less expensive ones first.

The guys working behind the counter are the best. If you bring in kitchen knives they will sharpen them while you shop. I heard that they will slice steaks too.

I asked one of the butchers about that, wondering if they’d use one of those big Hobart deli slicers.

“No, we don’t have any raw-food slicers.”

Didn’t hurt to ask, I thought. As I turned to leave he said, “But what I can do is slice them thin by hand.”

He gave me a big smile. “I’m really good at cutting very thinly. And when I’m done, I’ll put them between some wax paper sheets and press them even thinner. You’ll almost be able to see through them!”

I asked what it cost. He started to look at the price cards in the case. “Well, this cut is...“

“No, the cost for the service,” I interrupted nicely.

“Oh, no charge for that,” he said as he gave another big mile.

I’m starting to drool just thinking about the thin sliced steak for my next Philly cheese steak sandwich.

[seancamerons]

So I'm just really happily rewatching the oc. It is a magical experience! ✨️ I find myself using expressions like unbeatable combination, schmear more than I admit. As of earlier this week I have been craving bagels and need to get myself a cute little slicer cutter and some cream cheese and some lox but it is pretty funny.

And best part I got my bfs sister interested and she is converted! Seth is her favorite. We are midway through season 2. Now, she won't watch Dawson's or Tree Hill, but she did give Degrassi a chance, but lost interest after a certain point (sometime in s5, I can't really blame her.) Maybe she will be saved from season 6 new!Sean so she dodged a bit of a bullet lol.

I at least got her into the The OC which she loves (thank god!) as well as Friday night lights, stranger things, breaking bad and mad men.

We are a trio of show people, and we also like card and board games. We have so much fun. C has excellent taste in shows overall but I'm glad I got to show my faves and her, and I have common faves as well. We wish twin peaks was on streaming so we can show it to tj. She's like a sister to me.

And like my bf was a Saved by the Bell and Seventh Heaven stan before I came along, and now he loves breaking bad degrassi and the oc and one tree hill, gilmore girls and more. I'm so proud of him and he loves and is super invested in the characters, couples/ships and makes predictions and looks forward to watching with me qnd i try to remain tight-lipped on spoilers on things i know. All in all, he'd fit right in here, I swear. Sometimes we don't always finish our shows bc we take on too many and we tease each other about that. I'm so glad we are together. I'm so happy and grateful for that. People day couch potatoes like its a bad thing but we don't just sit in front of TV that's usually an evening thing. We have jobs and lives friendships and interests isolated from each other. In October, 3 past three years have flown by, and it's been an amazing three years of happiness love and just wonderful unexpected and joy. New traditions, beginnings, excitement, films, TV, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It is truly the best. I love that real and special love I'd been longing for since for friggin' ever. I can't see myself with anyone else. I don't want to. He is everything. 🥰

To close, I love shows. I love television. I love tv romance friendships dybamics. Television brings families and friends and people together. It's a beautiful thing. 😍 📺 im a firm believer in sharing shows being a love language. For example, if I gush about my favorites and you let me, you are my people. If I share my feelings and favorite shows and all just know you're so important to me.

Thanks for letting me gush on your dash about a friggin lovefest of my shows and ongoing appreciation for characters and romances spanning pretty much forever and ever bc I'm a romantic and I love it!

Even when I'm sad or it's sad I still love it. Smile through the tears. Television has been around for what? 50 years, 60 years? Whoever invented tvs and streaming too you are a damn magnificent genius and bastard at the same time. Thanks writers, thanks directors, thanks for costuming, hair, editing, and all you who make shows possible youre so appreciated. Thank you for the entertainment.😊

[siamesephoenixrandomideatank]

What if Characters from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power ordered meal from Pizzeria.

Nero Pizzeria

"We serve it hot for 6 days a week, just like in Rome"

Adora: Ask for the best-seller, get a college extra-cheesy pepperoni pizza with mozzarella-stuffed crust. 

Catra: Seafood pasta, without pasta. She even hizzed when the waiter told her their pasta was extra fresh and al dente. 

Glimmer: Margherita pizza, because she asked for whatever suits the queen.

Bow: Spaghetti Carbonara, because he couldn’t really take spices. Plus, with cocoa for dessert.

Swift Wind: Spaghetti all'Assassina, but hay instead of spaghetti. He kept eating even though he sweated a few buckets.

Shadow Weaver: Asked for a small Mediterranean salad, but the chef gave her a slightly smaller one, with extra fresh vegetables, mozzarella, some more herbs, and left her a small cup of Ristretto.   

Entrapta: All flavors of pizza rolls, ended up with only a few simple classic flavors eaten. Like, pepperoni, Hawaiian, or margarita. 

Scorpia: A large oven of lasagna, which she shares with everyone part of it. She also pays extra for her broken forks and slicer knives.

Hodrak: Eating Entrapta’s pizza rolls she doesn’t like, with extra free garlic bread sticks.

Double Trouble: Low fat Casu martzu ’maggot cheese’ (“What? I am an artist, and I need to keep my calories on watch”)

Perfuma: White Sauce Meat Deluxe Lasagna, because she doesn’t want to hurt any plants.

Mermista: Asked for sashimi rice pizza, Chef bought it from a nearby Japanese restaurant and charged her extra.

Sea Hawk: Beef Bourguignon with red wine (got thrown out of the Pizzeria)

Frosta: Calzone with the most expensive toppings, ended up on the floor by her reflex action from burning her tongue.

Horde Prime: Pizza with slices of truffle, oaken-smoked wagyu, pure olive oil drizzle, silphium and fresh tomato puree. (He complains about cheese not aged enough, and too much flour).

[homemade-clones]

Mist Squad | The Masterlist

Part of the 767th Battalion - a recon force specialized in locating, capturing targets and rescue allies -, the Mist Squad is an ARF unit focused on the capture side of things. Led by the experienced Sergeant Tooka, and aided by their highly trained massiffs, the squad has an excellent rate of successful missions.

Current members (click on their name to be taken to each individual masterlist!):

SERGEANT TOOKA | ARF | CT-8652 A seasoned trooper who has been at the lead of many successful operations before settling as the Sergeant of Mist Squad. His gruff exterior and tired eyes do well to convey the permanent "single, weary father of five" role he's been stuck in since taking over the squad. His daughter massiff is Socks, a large, scarred female who has been by his side since cadet days.

GAZE | Sniper | CT-4293 The most recent squad's addition, transferred after the loss of his sight and original squad during an infiltration mission gone horribly wrong. Voluntold to receive a pair of experimental, enhanced cybernetic prosthetics that restored his sight (at the cost of his health). Choosing to survive both out of spite and his unchecked, trauma-born emotional dependency towards anyone who talks to him for 0.5 seconds.

CHEESE | Medic | CT-2437 As fiery as the auburn locks on his head, the medic and second oldest is easily the heart of the Mist Squad. Cheese is intent on making sure his brothers are taken care of to the best of his abilities - both physically and emotionally - even if it means literally strong-arming them into self-care. Cheese's massiff is Aid, who bravely dives snout-first into the battlefield besides him, carrying the medical kits necessary to patch up the squad, even during active battle.

BEDBUG | ARF | Tracking Specialist | CT-2252 One of the best trackers of his squad (and the 767th as a whole). Fueled by a seemingly endless reserve of restless energy, Bedbug is always moving - be it exercising with his massiff Burr, be it fidgeting or taking apart whatever object is unlucky enough to end up in his hands during downtime. His eerie, nigh unbreakable focus during missions is balanced by a hair-graying lack of impulse control outside them. Despite the squad's eagle-eyed attempts at keeping Bedbug on their sights during leave, he's still managed to rack up a forked tongue and sharpened teeth, besides the too many piercings and tattoos scattered around his body.

CHARM | ARF | Infiltration Specialist | CT-2253 The team's best slicer and hacker, and indispensable asset during infiltration missions. Named after the feat he pulled during one of his first missions when he, somehow, charmed a meal (his vod, Cheese) out of a young Kryat's dragon mouth. His massiff, Dinui (mando'a for 'gift'), is not only a work partner but also son, pride, joy, and the reason Charm is always peniless despite often taking side jobs whenever the GAR isn't looking. He'll be damned if he'll let his boy have anything but the absolute best he's able to provide.

CAKE | ARF | Explosives Specialist | CT-2254 Youngest batchmate of Charm and Bedbug (by a mere ten seconds they won't ever let him forget), the squad's trap and explosives specialist is also an incurable trickster. Always down for shenanigans and seamlessly pinning the blame on his vode, pranking is his love language. The only who seems to be immune to his antics is Sugar, his massiff. She is not immune to Cake's 'fashion sense', tho, always found with armor (and scarves when off-duty) carefully color coordinated with his own outfits.

[probably more troopers will join the squad, but for now there's that!]

[the-real-things-tournament]

0.5mm Pencil Lead

2002 Honda Civic

320 Pack Glitter Gel Pens

A Blunt

A Candle That Smells Like Fragrant Evergreens

A Copy of "The Book Thief" (2005) by Markus Zusak

A Daisychain

A DVD Copy of Over the Hedge (2006)

A Train

Ace of Spades Playing Card

Adderall

Adipose Plushie

Adorable Cow Creamer

Airpods

An Innumerable Amount of Lost DS Styli

Animal Shaped Rubber Bands

AP French Exam Packet

Argon (The Element)

Aviator Goggles

Baguette Body Pillow

Battery

Bead Maze

Beaded Curtain

Beanbag Chair

Bed

Beehive

Best Rock

Big Drinking Fountain

Black Out Curtains

Blanket

Blue Jeans

Blåhaj/Ikea Shark

Bread

Bright Orange VHS for the Rugrats Movie

Broken Alarm Clock

Bubble Toy

Bucket

Bur Oak Tree

Buttons (for clothes)

Can of Beans

Cast Iron Pan

Cat Collar With Bell

Chalk Boards

Cheese Grater

Chew Necklace

Chicxulub Impactor

Claw Hairclip

Clip-On Earrings

Clock

Coconut Broom

Colored Fairy Lights

Comically Oversized Lollypop

Construction Cone

Contraception

Crane Machine

Crayons

Dead Baby Possum Killed by Chihuahua (RIP)

Digivice V-pet

Dildo

Dirigible

Dirty Glass Bottle You Find In The Woods

Disinfecting Wipes

Dice

Dragon Ball Z Volume 4 (Manga Paperback)

Drinking Bird Desk Toy

Earth

Egg Slicer

Elementary School Yearbook

Empty Pizza Box

Every Basket

Every Knife

Eye Mug From a School Ceramics Sale

Fake Dictionary Lockbox

Fancy Showerhead

Fantasia 2000 VHS Tape

Fencing Mask

Ferrofluid

Finger Cymbals

Finger Cymbols

Fingerless Gloves (made of wool)

Flower Bush By The Pavement On The Street

Four Seasons Puzzle

Froggy Chair

Furby

Furby

Garden Gloves With Claws

Garlic

Gendang

Generic Paw Of A Monkey

Geode

Glow in the Dark Celing Stars

Glow Stick Liquid

"god i wish that were me" Screenshot

Golden Acorn Statue

Googly Eyes

Guitar

Half An Onion

Halloween Skeleton Decoration

Hand Mixer From The '60s

Haunted Callie Calamari Doll That Drinks All Your Pepsi and Calls You a Bitch

Heart-Shaped Glasses

Holly the Dragon Beanie Boo

Homemade Hand Sanitizer

Hurdy Gurdy

Ice Cube

Ice Maker

Japanese 5 Yen Coin

Kids Watercolor Set

Kitchen Sink

Knockoff Garfield Plush

Knäckebröd

La Croix Sparkling Water Pamplemousse

Late Night Infomercials

Lavender Scented Candle

LEGO Spring 2007 Catalog

Lightning McQueen Crocs

Lindt Gold Bunny

Lint Roller

Lip Smackers Watermelon Chapstick

LNER Peppercorn Class A1 60163 Tornado

Lobster Ornament

Loch and Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster Ladles (one solid, one with strainer holes)

Loofah

Lun-Class Ekranoplan

Mammatus Cloud

Manatea Tea Infuser

Meat Cleaver

Meat Tenderizer

Mechanical Pencil

Microscope

Microwave

Mini Cuban Flag on Plant

Mini Fan

Monopoly Dog Piece

Mop

NA Mazda Miata (Specifically With Googly Eyes)

Native American Fire Opal Blade

Nebula

Nokia Phone 3310 (2000)

Occlupanids

Old Faithful

One Crouton

One Flavor Blasted Cheddar Goldfish

Onion Chopper/Mini Food Processer

Opalized Fossil

Oumuamua

Our Sun

Paint Tube

Palm Leaf Rose

Paper Crown

Paper Leaves

Paracetamol Tablet

Pencil

Pizza

Plastic Lightsaber

Plastic Play Food Set

Polly Pocket Website (circa 2005)

Popstar Microphone

Potato

"Previously on X-Men" (YouTube Video)

Rainbow Desk Lamp Christmas Gifted By Aunt

Rainbow Pride Flag

Red Bouncy Ball

Rice

Rocking Horse

Roller Skates

Rounde (Sheep Plush Adored by Friend Group)

Rubik's Cube

Russian Nesting Doll

Salt and Vinegar Chips

Sand-Filled Frog Toy Named Floppy

School Chair Attached To Desk

Screwdriver

Seattle Space Needle

Seki Edge Nail Clippers

Sewing Pin

Sharpie

Shoe Insoles

Shoelaces (From The President)

Silver Hoop Earrings

Simply Southern T-Shirt

Single Macaroni Noodle

Siren Percussion Instrument

Slap Bracelets

Sliced Bread

Slinky

Slip N' Slide

Slotted Spoon

Snowman Headband

Solar Eclipse Sunglasses

Soviet-Era Apartment Complex

Spamton Plush

Sparkly DND Dice That Look Like They Should Be Edible But Aren't

Spoon

Squirmles

Squishmallows

Squishy Water Tube Toy

Stained Glass

Stand-Up Bass

Starbucks Coffee Cup

Steel/Metal Pipe

Stick (From the Ground)

Stop Sign

Stuffed Animals

Styrofoam

Subway Employee Hat

Swiffer

Tamagotchi

The Bible

The Demon Core

The Entirely Of Wikipedia Printed Out

The Giant Canadian Rubber Duck

The International Space Station

The Internet

The Kaaba

The Milky Way

The Mona Lisa

The Moon

The Spinx

The Statue Of The Shoe That Almost Hit George Bush

The Tiny Jack Hiding In The Wall Of My Trunk For When I Have A Flat Tire

The Transistor

The Voynich Manuscript

The Wheel

The World Trade Center (WTC)

The Zener Diode

Theremin

TI-84 Graphing Calculator

Tofu

Tom Scott's Best Thing Survey

Torn Apart Skunk Dog Toy

Trans Flag

Tumblr Anon Hatemail

Tungsten Cube

Two Paper Cockatiels On A Wire Stand On My Desk

Umbrella Hat

Unicorn Pillow Pet

Vicks Vaprorub

Vincent Van Gogh's Sunflowers Painting

Vintage Railway Poster

Walkable City

Water

Water Bottle

Water Snake Wiggler

White Boards

White Out

Wind Chime

Wings of Fire Slightly Used Coloring Book

Wireless Headphones

Working McDonalds Ice Cream Machine

www.hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com

Xbox 360

Yoga Ball

Yu-Gi-Oh Cards

Zipper

Ōdachi

[heroineimages]

Excerpt from something I don't know what to do with yet

Fiddling with a story idea I had about a bi single-mom meeting her sometimes-friends-with-benefits bestie's new girlfriend and welcoming her into their social circle. No idea what I'll do with any of it, but it's a random idea I had inspired by several GL stories I follow.

"H-hey, um, Julia, C-Carmen asked me to come see if I can help," hailed a timid voice from the kitchen doorway.

I turned from arranging crackers on the tray to see Quinn cowering in the doorway, hugging herself. "Sure, hon!" I beamed, trying to adopt my most non-intimidating posture. I guessed Quinn to be no taller than 5'1" without her heels on, and even with them she was a good inch shorter than my 5'4".

"We need cheese grated for Carmen's signature cheesy garlic bread. There's a bowl already out," I added, pointing to it. "Cheddar is in the fridge, grate around a quarter of it. Pedro broke the grater attachment for Carmen's Salad-Shooter, and she keeps meaning to replace it, so you'll have to use the hand-grater in the drawer to the left of the stove."

"Okay, found it," Quinn announced quietly, holding the grater out to me as if I might not believe her claim, otherwise.

I think I see what Lonnie meant about her new girlfriend's self-esteem struggles, I observed silently as Quinn set the grater atop the designated bowl and started shredding cheese. I still wasn't sure why she was so nervous around me, but by now I suspected she was wary of the fact that Lonnie and I were best friends who used to fuck.

"So, um, Carmen mentioned that you and Lonnie were friends-with-benefits," Quinn finally confessed, glancing in my direction without ever really making eye-contact.

"Yeah! Though it's been a good four months since last time," I admitted, trying to reassure her. "Long before the two of you met, I promise."

"S-sorry," she murmured. I glanced over to watch her choke back a sob, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I didn't mean to t-take that away from you--" she started, trailing off, fighting off another sob.

"Sweetheart, I wish you wouldn't worry about that," I promised, slicing up Monterey Jack for the cheese-and-crackers tray. "Sure, Lonnie and I are occasional friends-with-benefits. But romance wasn't one of those benefits! We've been friends for I guess it's been over five years. We've had each other's backs when things got shitty for either of us, and she's like an aunt to my little girl.

"Sure, we've fucked quite a few times," I explained, gesturing with the cheese-slicer while she grated cheddar to melt over the garlic bread. "But that part of our relationship was never more than two friends having sexy fun together. I want her to find a terrific girlfriend! I want Lonnie to date someone who can fulfill her romantic needs and give her the kind of intimacy she's after. Sorry if this seems crude, but no matter how intense our sex-life was, it was never any deeper than that she's got a bod like a fucking amazon, and I have wicked-awesome hooters!" I set the cheese-slicer down and hefted my c-cups for emphasis.

Quinn giggled a little for the first time since I met her. "She does have a body like an amazon," she agreed, glancing at my chest before blushing and turning away.

"Right?" I laughed, glad to see her relaxing around me as I picked the slicer back up. "I could relate a lot better to that song by the Commodores after I met her! The point is, hon, I don't want you to feel insecure about Lonnie and me. Just treat my friend like the sexy warrior-queen she is, and I promise you and I will never have a problem, deal?"

"Yeah, okay, deal," she promised, setting the cheese down and offering me her hand on it.

I laughed and shook it. We lapsed into silence as we went back to prepping dinner. I had to laugh a moment later when I heard Quinn murmur, "She's the one, the only one, built like an amazon."

"Woo! Sing it, girl! Belt it out like you're on stage in Vegas!" I cheered, bumping my hip to hers as I swayed my booty to the tune.

"So damned glad to see you two getting along," Lonnie gave a sigh both exasperated and relieved as she entered the kitchen a minute later to the two of us giggling and singing "She's a Brick House."

She'd always hated that song.

[mothlake]

regular knife, fork, spoon, teaspoon and chopsticks are standard and not included 🍴🍴❤️

[wren-fest]

I have a silly little story for you. So, context is I work in a deli, but we also make soft serve ice cream cones, and I only have 1 coworker because we're severely understaffed. Now, sorry time

It's either a Friday or a Saturday, I don't remember which, but those are both equally the busiest days of the week for us. Unfortunately, it was also the day the ice cream machine needed to be cleaned. So, im on slicer duty, taking orders, and my coworkers sets on cleaning this ice cream maker. Being on my own, im not paying attention to her and just slicing meats and cheeses like a cold cut god, when I hear water spraying everywhere and my coworker yelling. I look up to see what looks like an explosion of ice cream all over the walls, the machine, the table im working on, and my coworker. Shes covered head to toe in ice cream water. Her clothes are absolutely RUINED, and all the customers that were at the counter go SILENT watching my coworker trying to wrangle the little hose we use to clean the machine with, because it's still spraying water everywhere like an angry snake. She finally gets it under control, turns it off, looks at me and says "...I have to go" and walks out. I'm standing there, jaw dropped, not slicing anymore with the blade just spinning pointlessly. I turn to look back at the customers, who are looking at me with similar expressions. I don't know what to say to them, so I don't say anything, I just get back to fulfilling orders in silence. By the time I get through all of them, my coworker has returned in a new outfit. I figured she went home, but no. Turns out, she went to the clothes store, covered in the mess she was, and BOUGHT a whole new outfit to come back to work in. I wouldn't have blamed her of she just went home for the day tbh, the ice cream machine is a nuisance and we make no money on it, but she came back and cleaned up her mess in silence. When she was finally done, she looked at me and we just kind of burst out laughing, and now everyone teases her about needing a new outfit.

Not the craziest story, but the rest are all just drama, so I like this one the best

thank u for the enrichment :333

[thekitchnpro]

Top 5 Slicers That You Would Love

New Post has been published on https://thekitchnpro.com/top-5-slicers-that-you-would-love/

Top 5 Slicers That You Would Love

A food slicer is an essential piece of equipment in any home kitchen, especially if you enjoy cooking and preparing meals from scratch. Slicers allow you to prepare foods with greater precision and speed, which will help you save time and effort in the long run. If you’re wondering what the best slicer options are, check out this list of top 5 slicers on the market today. We’ve even included a buyer’s guide at the end to make your search easier.

  Cuisinart CTG-00-BG Box Slicers

There’s a reason so many home cooks and professional chefs keep a box slicers around: It’s versatile. And it never needs sharpening. The Cuisinart version is particularly well-made and can handle everything from delicate nutmeg to coarse salt. A good all-around choice that will see plenty of use in your kitchen for years to come. Just watch out for those sharp blades! This grater made our best sellers list for 2015, but it’s still at or near #1 on Amazon’s own list of bestselling box graters, which tells you something about its popularity.

Buy Now!

 Brieftons Manual Food Processor

This is an expensive but efficient food processor. It has a 15-cup capacity, meaning you can slice all of your ingredients in one go. It’s easy to use, with no buttons or levers to worry about—you just place your food on top and pop it in. Made from BPA-free plastic, it’s safe for both indoor and outdoor use. There are several blades that come with it too, for chopping meat or cutting through poultry bones easily. You can even adjust its slicing thickness for making deli-style slices at home.

Buy Now!

Ninja Master Prep Professional

The Ninja Master Prep Professional Blender has a six-cup capacity and a dual-stage blender system for maximum food processing. The pulse button will chop, crush, puree, mix and emulsify ingredients to your desired consistency. It features a Total Crushing technology that pulverizes ice into snow in seconds, with no cubes left behind. Its pitcher lid includes a smoothie cap for easy pouring of juice or smoothies from pitcher to glass without dripping or spilling. If you want to purchase under $40 blender with multiple speed settings and pulse feature then I would suggest you consider buying ninja master prep professional because it is a great addition to kitchen appliances at a very reasonable price.

Buy Now! Hamilton Beach 72850 Flexi-Slice Vegetable Slicer

Don’t let its sleek design fool you, this is a robust product that does more than just shred cheese. This durable slicer is ideal for cutting vegetables like zucchini, carrots, and cucumbers into neat slices to make yummy sides or nutritious snacks. The best part? It’s dishwasher safe! If you want to minimize prep time in your kitchen, look no further than Hamilton Beach’s Flexi-Slice Vegetable Slicer. You can choose from three thickness settings to suit your desired outcome—finely shredded zucchini, mild chopped veggies, or thick carrot sticks. Slicing couldn’t be easier: just put down some paper towels and press down on top of produce with moderate pressure (one hand may be all you need). The wide feet help keep it stable while slicing so you don’t have to worry about any slipping—perfect if counter space is at a premium in your kitchen.

Buy Now!

OXO Good Grips V-Blade Mandoline Slicers

The V-Blade Mandoline offers a unique blade design that creates ultra-thin slices for salads, stir-fries, and more. The easy-to-use slicer features four preprogrammed thickness settings, allowing you to create anything from paper-thin up to 1/4 inch thick slices with one turn of a knob. The V-Blade Mandoline is versatile too; it comes with three interchangeable blades for French fries, vegetable chips, and grating fruits and vegetables. A handguard provides added safety when operating the mandoline slicer on its side. And unlike other mandolines, which can be difficult to clean or prone to rusting if exposed to water, dishwasher safe parts make cleanup quick and easy.