#Best Drops For Fungal Infection

[advopticvisioncare]

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[greenwitchcrafts]

Thyme

Thymus vulgaris | Thymus serpyllum

Known as: Common thyme & garden thyme

Related plants: There are hundreds of species of thyme. Some members of the genus thymus are aromatic evergreen herbs in the mint family Lamiaceae (Like shown) that include basil, mint, rosemary, sage, savory, marjoram, oregano,hyssop lavender, catnip, bee balm, salvia, wild dagga, oriental motherwort & perilla

Parts used : Leaves

Habitat and cultivation: This shrub is native to southern Europe from the western Mediterranean to southern Italy. It thrives in medium-dry, sandy, loose & well drained soils.

Plant type: Perennial

Region: 2-10 with zones below 5 using both mulch and protections from frost damage.

Harvest: Anytime

Growing tips: This plant does the best in full sun in a well draining container. Like rosemary, it is very hard to grow from seed and therefore should look into cuttings or getting a starter plant from a nursery. I highly recommend lemon thyme.

Medicinal information: Thyme contains the compound thymol, which can help control or neutralize some bacterial, parasitic, fungal, or viral infections and have  anti-inflammatory properties.  been used to strengthen the lungs, purge the body of  phlegm, as a remedy for shortness of breath, to kill worms. It was applied as an ointment to remove “hot swellings” and warts, and to ease pains in the spleen, the loins, and hips.

Cautions: Fresh and dried thyme is generally safe to eat or drink as a refreshing tea. But essential oils are different. They’re highly concentrated and can be toxic in their undiluted form. Ingesting too much thyme in essential oil could cause a risky drop in your blood pressure. 

Magickal properties

Gender: Feminine

Planet: Venus

Element: Water

Deities: Faeries

Magical uses:

• Place under your pillow to prevent nightmares & to ensure a restful night's sleep

• Wear in your hair to make you seem irresistible

• Plant in your garden to attract faeries

• A little under your tongue is said to allow you to see faery folk more clearly

• Make and infusion in boiled water & add to your bath to help you release the past

• Carry thyme with you to help develop psychic powers

• Smell to steady nerves, invoke courage & attract good health

• Burn to clear negative energies attached to you and renew them

• Hang to bring peace to a sad or angry space

• The ancient Greeks used it in their baths and burnt it as incense in their temples, believing it was a source of courage

[moonfurthetemmie]

Untitled.MP4

Previous | Next | First (with warnings)

Part 16

June 30, 20XX_TL_1

Zuli is sitting in front of the camera. There’s a mess of wires and vials before him, off to the side of the camera’s view. He seems shaky, but solemn. Resolve is clear in his voice. There’s no sign of the tears he’d had yesterday.

“We’re blowing up the manor.”

He pauses, working on the device in front of him. 

“Mercury’s infected. We noticed the white patches on his skin as he was working on the cure. Here, in the office. I’m sure I’m infected too. The cure is nowhere near done. If I worked on it, I might make it, but I don’t know anything about how chemicals mix, nevermind medicine. And this sickness advances way too fast; I’d probably only have a few hours at best. We’re not going to make it out of here. The least we can do is make sure this thing doesn’t, either.”

Something clicks into place in the device on the desk.

“Before I was kidnapped by Obsidian, I was training to be part of an elite military force in my universe. During that time, I learned how to make explosives. We’re going to make a dozen or so pipebombs and firebombs, hide them around, lure the Colony in close to the manor, and set them off. We don’t have a lot of time. Mercury helped me make a few, and he’s setting them out now. Still in a hazmat suit; the more spores he breathes in, the faster he’ll go, and we need all the time we can get.

“Some of the failed cures we found did slow the progression of the disease, so I had him take any that weren’t deadly. And some were. He said that’s a common problem when trying to treat fungal diseases, so I’m kind of impressed how many were safe, even if they weren’t ever quite enough.”

Zuli carefully wraps his contraption in gauze and medical tape. He grabs more supplies from off-screen, and gets to work on another.

“We know the Colony has done something to make creating portals impossible. We don’t know how, but we know it has. And we know that it wants to infect everyone before it lets anyone leave. Koroit probably could, but it doesn’t want her to. I don’t know why; with how advanced her case is, she could probably infect a town in just a few hours. But, it sounds like it’ll try to absorb the manor into its own structure once it’s sure the last few people in the manor are infected. So…all we need to do is convince it we’ve been infected. And that won’t be too hard. 

“This is the last video. None of us are going to survive this. The fungus burns easily, and burns fast. Anyone who’s infected will die quickly, if painfully. But as long as we can get the big thing outside, this will also help make sure that there’s nothing infectious here; as long as we can get the whole place to burn. Mercury thinks we can. I hope he’s right. If this thing gets out…”

He shakes his head, and finally looks right at the camera.

“Peridot, whoever you are, and whatever it is you do, we’ve dropped a pretty big weight on your shoulders, and I’m sorry. If you’re in a position to do something directly, do it. If you can’t do anything, send these to someone who can. Anyone who might know what to do.

“If someone needs to investigate here, they need to wear good hazmat suits. And they need to make sure they have a way to decontaminate their suits before they leave. We’ve been using strong hydrogen peroxide, but Mercury says that it’s a bad idea for use long-term, so hopefully whoever comes knows something better. 

“We’ve taken more pictures, as many as we could, and we’re sending them with the videos. Pictures of everyone. Mercury’s current symptoms. The mold and fungus on the walls and floor. The…the thing outside. Anything to help you–or whoever you might have to send these to–know what to look for.”

Zuli finally takes a breath. He turns back to the unassembled bomb on the desk, and begins working.

“This is the last one I have to make. Once I’ve placed them, I’m…I’m going to go see Jade.”

His voice cracks.

“I should’ve killed him when he asked me to. It would’ve been so much less painful than this. And I think the fungus will have covered him too much for me to cut him out and give him an easier way out before the bombs go off, and the fire spreads. At least if I’m near him without a suit, it won’t take long for the spores to get to me. I just need to last long enough to be able to set off the bombs when the Colony closes in.”

Zuli slowly reaches forwards. There’s tears in his eyes.

“Peridot. You are our only chance. I’m sorry this has been pushed on you, and I know that this being sent from people who live with Obsidian–one of whom works for him–is going to make you wary of helping. But this isn’t about Obsidian. This disease, wherever it came from, is a much bigger threat than Obsidian could ever hope to be. Unintelligent life suffocates from the mushrooms. Humans–and maybe monsters–are made living agents of infection, who live only to serve the Colony and spread it’s reach. It’s alive. It’s sentient. It can be multiple places at once. And it makes anyone it comes into contact with willing conspirators. Obsidian is an agonized mass of fungus and mold because of this thing. 

“You can’t save us now, but you can save others. Don’t let what happened here spread.”

The video ends.

[theprinceofmycologia]

Alternia solani

Alternia solani is a fungal pathogen that produces a disease in various memebers of the Solanum genus called early blight.¹

Host plants

Host plants include various members of the Solanum genus. Such as tomato (Solanum lycopersicum), potato (Solanum tuberosum), aubergine (Solanum melongena), bell pepper (Capsicum annuum) and other pepper species (Capsicum spp.).²

Symptoms

The symptoms of early blight will vary depending on the host and plant tissue.²

Foliar symptoms are dark brown ranging to black necrosis. The first symptoms often appear on the older leaves as small, dark, necrotic lesions, a few millimetres in diameter, which increase in size. The lesions are sometimes restricted by leaf veins and will take on an angular shape. Within larger lesions, concentric rings (so called bullseye) can be seen, usually surrounded by a chlorotic, yellowing zone. The chlorosis can extend to the whole infected leaf. The infected lesions enlarge and the whole leaf becomes necrotic which results in premature defoliation.²

With tomato plants, the premature defoliation can cause injury to the fruits due to sunscald.²

"Bullseye" patterned leaf lesion of Alternaria solani on a tomato plant¹

On tomato, Alternia solani can cause symptoms on the stem. Dark and sunken lesions can appear on the stems of seedlings, called collar rot. The infected seedling shows reduced plant vigour or can die when the stem is completely girdled by the lesion. The main stem of adult tomato plants can also be infected, showing small, slightly sunken lesions. As on the leaves, typical concentric rings are visible on the infected stem.²

On green or ripe tomato fruits, dark lesions can occur at the end of the stem. Ripe fruits are less susceptible than semi-ripe ones. Heavily infected fruits will drop prematurely. On less resistant cultivars, the calyx and blossom also can be infected and show comparable symptoms.²

Stem lesion of Alternaria solani on a potato plant¹

The symptoms on potato tubers are dark, slightly sunken lesions (dry rot). The dry or hard rot of tubers causes storage losses, reduces the quality of table potatoes, and reduces the germination capacity of seed potatoes.²

Disease cycle

Alternaria solani has a polycyclic life cycle and reproduces asexually by means of conidia (spores).¹

A. solani is a necrotrophic pathogen: it kills the host tissue using cell wall degrading enzymes and toxins and feeds on the dead plant cell material.¹

The life cycle starts with the fungus overwintering in crop residues or wild members of the family Solanaceae. In the spring, conidia are produced. Multicellular conidia are splashed by water or by wind onto an uninfected plant. The conidia infect the plant by entering through stromata, small wounds, or direct penetration. Infections usually start on older leaves close to the ground. The fungus takes time to grow and eventually forms a lesion. From this lesion, more conidia are created and released. These conidia infect other plants or other parts of the same plant within the same growing season. Every part of the plant can be infected and form lesions. This is especially important when fruit or tubers are infected as they can be used to spread the disease.¹

Distribution and environment

Distribution of Alternia solani ²

Alternaria solani spores are universally present in fields where host plants have been grown.¹

Free water is required for the spores to germinate; spores will be unable to infect a perfectly dry leaf. Alternaria spores germinate within 2 hours over a wide range of temperatures but at 26.6–29.4 °C (79.9–84.9 °F) may only take half an hour. Another 3 to 12 hours are required for the fungus to penetrate the plant depending on temperature. After penetration, lesions may form within 2 to 3 days or the infection can remain dormant awaiting proper conditions. Alternaria sporulates best at about 26.6 °C (79.9 °F) when abundant moisture (as provided by rain, mist, fog, dew, irrigation, etc.) is present. Infections are most prevalent on poorly nourished or otherwise stressed plants.¹

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References

1.

2.

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Mutuals:

@squidsandthings

@fungus-gnats

@fairy-tales-of-yesterday

@flamingears

@lameotello

@lovelyalicorn

[wuxiaphoenix]

Worldbuilding: Running Hot and Cold

So, of the creatures you’ve invented for your world - are they ectothermic or endothermic?

“Cold-blooded” and “warm-blooded” are the colloquial terms for it. They’re... not exactly wrong, but incomplete. A “cold-blooded” critter simply does not have internal workings devoted to keeping it inside a specific band of temperatures No Matter What. (Though some may in fact be able to keep parts of their body much warmer or cooler than their surroundings - see the swordfish, among others, with their rete mirabile of blood vessels to keep their eyes warm in the sea to spot prey.) On the other hand a “warm-blooded” critter (birds and mammals being our key contenders) not only has the inner workings to do so, it absolutely must, or perish.

If you’re not sure what your critter should be, consider that these are two different ways of adapting to life with distinct advantages and disadvantages. Sort out which of those fit your critter best, and you should know what to pick.

First, let’s take ectothermy. As have most animals in the history of the world. It’s the most common way of life for a reason: it works. Since ectotherms rely on the outside world to keep them warm or cool, they don’t need to spend any energy on maintaining a constant internal temperature. This makes needing to eat much, much less of a worry; critical if you’re in a low-prey environment. Full-grown Nile crocodiles can pretty much live on only two wildebeest a year... and guess what? The herd’s migration usually takes them across particular rivers twice a year. Convenient!

(Herbivores prey on plants, algae, etc. Those, too, can be in short supply.)

Three distinct disadvantages, though. First, you have to make proteins that function at a wide range of temperatures; this costs extra resources. Second, your eggs are usually more temperature-sensitive than you are. Finding the right environment for them is critical. Third... if you really really need a fever, say to kill off a bacterial or fungal infection, you have to figure out how to get your environment to do the work. You have to give yourself a behavioral fever. Alligators, crocodiles, and their relatives will all do this by basking in the sun longer and more often than normal.

So. Endothermy. Apparently pounced on by both proto-mammals and some of the dinosaur lineages. This is a very resource-intensive strategy. You have to eat; you have to eat frequently. And if you get just a little too hot or cold inside, you die. A snake that drops down to 50 F inside may be perfectly fine, though it probably doesn’t want to freeze. A human whose internal temp drops to 85 F? That is nightmare territory and heading toward death. Why would any creature do this?

Look at the three disadvantages of ectothermy. An endotherm doesn’t make proteins that function across the temperature spectrum; it doesn’t have to. All its building blocks can be finely tuned to the temperature it’s supposed to be, with a little wiggle room in case of, you know, a smidge too cool or too hot. This saves a lot of resources. Sensitive eggs? Can be kept with you, either in a nest you keep warm or even - gasp - internally. (Mammals are so metal.) Fungus and bacteria? Get hit by a blazing reception of fiery fevers and fine-tuned immune systems. They can kill us, but numbers-wise, ectotherms are at far greater risk.

And evolution, very often, is a numbers game. It doesn’t take much of an advantage to pull ahead. It only takes a small, constant advantage over time.

Of course, there are exceptions. Like hibernating hummingbirds (some let their temp drop to 40 F every night) and pythons shivering to keep eggs 5-10 degrees warmer than outside air (as the Everglades snarl in frustration). And then there are paleontologist speculations that the really big sauropods and some other dinosaurs had mesothermy, which doesn’t seem to exist on the planet today because the (probably asteroid impact) disaster at the K-T boundary wiped out every critter past a certain size, and you had to be sauropod-size to make it work. 

Consider all these, when you make up a critter for your characters to deal with. It matters to how they behave - and that makes a big difference when your heroes might have to run through a pack of them!

[starrywangxian]

warning: the last of us spoilers!! (episode 9 in particular)

to the new people who are adding to the moral dilemma debate at the end of tlou from the show, first of all: hello! second of all, you're missing some points about the importance of the sciencists' dumbassery and joel's ain't no one touching my daughter rampage and hopefully i'll explain what those missing points are.

1. the cure wouldn't have worked.

you're very right, cures are impossible for fungal infections such as Cordyceps, however the key missing detail is joel didn't know that. joel is not a scientist nor did he know how the fireflies were going to make this cure. as much as i love the "we're all fucked" segment in the first episode and the scared scientist from episode 2, none of this context happens in the game so, it's not general knowledge that fungal infections cannot be treated let alone cured. it's a good point but it's not relevant to joel's moral dilemma because he doesn't know that the cure wouldn't work. when he's in his rampage, he's not thinking "silly, fireflies. this cure won't work! you can't cure fungal infections" because if he did, i'm sure he'd at least try to tell them first. and anyway, FEDRA really don't want to tell people that there is a way to cure this infection and then not do it. more people would join the fireflies that way and the QZs would quickly become under new management. so FEDRA are certainly not telling people that fungal infections cannot be cured (heck, FEDRA aren't even telling people about the different infected - ellie didn't know what a clicker was, pre-museum).

2. the scientists dropped out of med school.

yeah, they probably did because med school, as we know it today, hasn't existed for 20 years. doctors are most likely taught in the QZs - the place the Fireflies are currently bombing - and these courses are probably taught by FEDRA or at least the government, which are the people that are killing the fireflies by the masses. even if the fireflies running the tests and doing the operation on ellie did go to FEDRA med school, they most likely were not taught how to do precise biopsies or extraction surgeries as in an apocalypse, they probably want to train their doctors to do more practical operations and ones they're most likely to come across, or maybe they just forgot! it's been 20 years! plus the fireflies aren't exactly in the best place right now (FEDRA are doing a good job of killing them all), so they're probably too desperate to go through it thoroughly. so are these firefly scientists good scientists? no. but they're trying their best with the resources and expertise they have and most importantly, the exact procedure that ellie goes through does not matter.

ik it's a pain that there's a few holes and flaws with the plot but these little bits really don't have that big an impact and if these little details were accounted for then the impact on joel's decision wouldn't be as big as the writers wanted it to be.

the moral dilemma joel faces has to be a big deal: we spend all this time travelling across the country for this cure, just for one man to murder everyone in his path for his newfound daughter. that's the point here! the writers want us to think about sarah; joel didn't get a choice with sarah, she was taken from him but this time, he can save her. he has a choice and he'll do whatever it takes to make this time different. in those moments when he guns down everyone he sees, he's not seeing them as people with loved ones and hobbies; they're obstacles, they're threats to his ellie's safety. (think "you'd just come after her").

he doesn't care about these people, he only cares about ellie. joel did save the world that day, it's just that his world was that little girl. honestly, a lot of joel's reasoning is explained in part 2 of the game so if you're really hung up on it, give it a play (or wait until season 2).

my point being here is, the writers wanted to create a situation that 1) reminds us of sarah, and 2) makes ellie and joel's relationship very tense afterwards. because ellie knows that joel is lying about the fireflies and this creates a big rift in their relationship. the choice joel made has to be big to have this same impact. ellie is willing to sacrifice herself for a cure, even if it doesn't work because she already believes that she's getting more than she deserves. she should've died with riley that day, and then with tess, sam and henry. all these people she's seen die should have been her all those months ago. but joel can't let that happen, he can't let another daughter die. and boom the tension flowers! this moral dilemma is showing us how deep joel's feelings go; he'd kill half of salt lake city and doom all of humanity to death for his little girl, even if that means going against what she wants.

so to summarise, no one knows that the fungal infection cannot be cured, the little details that you're hung up on about the science do not matter and the writers needed to create this big moral dilemma to really test the love that joel feels for ellie.

*breathes* so any questions?

[vulturereyy]

HI, YES, I SAW YOUR PHAROM/HEGEMOL HEADCANON (AU?) AND I AM INTRIGUED

I hope you don't mind getting questions about it? It just seems super interesting and I am a huge fan of scenarios where other knights survived

So, did Hegemol knew the Hollow Knight personally, or even Hornet? If yes and if THK survived the infection, would they ever reunite? How would it be like?

Also, does he ever get to reunite with Ogrim? My mans deserves at least one of his friends back 😭

Hi omg my first ask.... Thank you!! I would love questions though I honestly haven't thought out every aspect. Questions help flesh that out though :) Headcanon, AU, I'm not quite sure what the terms are myself, I normally don't do things like this. But I sure am having fun, whatever it is! I don't think Hegemol knew the Hollow Knight as personally as the other knights. I can't remember if this is backed up by lore or not, but timeline wise, I do imagine there was at *minimum* 10-15 years between the idea to create the vessels to the sealing of THK in the Black Egg. I think Hegemol would have known *of* THK and definitely met them himself, but would have already been in the early-middle stages of his infection, and starting to drop some of his duties in favor of rest and trying to recover. Unfortunately, Hegemol only got worse, and so THK's time at the white palace until they were sealed would have coincided with the worst of Hegemol's infection. I do, however, think that Hegemol did know Hornet. As I understand it, Hornet was born and raised *after* the dreamer deal, but possibly before the vessels were created? Or at least, before THK was 'chosen'. They were probably still in development. Hornet was probably around just before to just at the start of Hegemol falling to the infection, and if she ever visited the City of Tears or White Palace, he would have definitely been very fond of her. I think Hegemol loves kids at heart, especially those who are ornery and full of mischief. He'd fake spar her as well, and let her believe she won, when she was just a little bug. I think he would reunite with THK and Ogrim both, though especially the latter! Of course, Hegemol isn't... Quite what he used to be, but. I think He would have a sense of... Solidarity? Not quite, but definitely a deep sense of *regret* for THK and what they went through. Hegemol probably opposed the plan when he could, even if he could not think of anything else that could save Hallownest. It just wouldn't seem right to him, mind or no mind, to raise something (someone, in his eyes) as if it were a child, or even a squire becoming a new knight, and watch it flourish... Only to punish it for doing so in the worst way possible. The fact that this plan failed would be heartbreaking for Hegemol, especially in the sense of like. His king just tortured a guy for decades for no reason, and killed like 1 million weird shadow children in the process. I think Hegemol is going to have a lot to come to terms with, and honestly may not even choose to enter the Pale King's service again because of what happened. As for what it would be like, I think it would be... Quiet, really. I always envision Hegemol as the type to consider 'hanging out' to be 'just sitting quietly next to each other, content.' And he conveys a lot of emotion that way, through silence, but through the gesture of companionship. I think he'd show THK the best places in the City of Tears to sit, where one can almost hear a song from how the rain hits the glass. Also I always imagine Ogrim is the youngest of the knights, and as the eldest (in my hc), Hegemol was definitely like. This guy is my little brother now. I also think that given their same shape, Hegemol may have taught Ogrim some battlefield prowess, though he would have been Isma's squire. I like to think Ogrim and Isma were likely stationed around the City of Tears and Fungal Wastes with Hegemol as well, and were probably the two that he was closest with. This unfortunately means that they were also the ones to find him dead at the gates, after the siege that made him seal off the city. But he would be happy to see Ogrim again.... Granted Ogrim takes a bath first.

[halateez-sun]

Seonghwa X Reader One Shot

Genre: apocalyptic, syfy, sad

TW: mentions of death by fire

Description: you’re a storm trooper working for Sith Lord Seonghwa during an apocalypse.

A/N: this is my first one shot so please no negative comments. I’m basing this off a dream I had last night so that’s why it’s not the best to start off.

Running a health facility was the last thing on our list as storm troopers. An unexpected apocalypse ambushed us all, a viral fungal infection spreading from person to person, child to child. I’ve taken hundreds of families to the medical building. Seonghwa watched from his office, my heart beating faster each time new people start coming up to us. After taking the last family to the doctors, I was making my way out to greet two parents with their daughter, who all seemed to be in really bad shape.

As I was about to approach them, Seonghwa’s voice boomed through my ears. “Y/N! No more taking these poor people to the medical building. It’s getting full and we don’t have the space to wait for anymore to show up.” “But what about the rest of the people needing our help?” Seonghwa sighed and shook his head and I knew what was coming. “Take them to the furnace down in the mines, we can’t hold anymore.” I stepped aside from the family, looking at Hwa through my visor. “They have a child Hwa. We can’t just kill her off.”

He sighed and looked over at the family. “Fine, take them to a room in the medical building, leave the child to get checked, and you take the parents to the furnace to die.” I sighed, only nod in silence. “That’s an order, Y/N.” “Yes sir.” I walked over to the family as Seonghwa walked away to the other troopers guarding the mines. “Follow me please.” I led the family to the last open room available.

I look down at the little girl and I set her on the bed, a doctor coming in to check on her. I instruct the parents to follow me out of the room. “Where are you taking us? We should be with our child!” The mother was upset, but thankfully two other storm troopers followed behind them to make sure they didn’t run off. “Just keep quiet and follow me.”

We get to the mine entrance and the father yanks me to a stop. “Where the fuck are you taking us? You’re all worthless assholes who do nothing but kill is all off, turing poor children into robots for the empire.” Standing there in silence, the other storm trooper grabbed the man by his arm and drug him to the furnace. The other nudged the woman and she silently protested, but continued to make her way to the line of people waiting to burn to death.

The other two troopers who accompanied me stayed behind with the parents as I made my way back to the child. I exit the mine and I felt a hand grab my arm, and I look up to see Seonghwa standing there. I pulled away and made my way down the hallway back to the little girl. “Y/N! We need to talk.” I sigh and stop right outside her door. “What is there to talk about? You made me tear a family apart, yet all these other families get to stay together? Why?” Seonghwa grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in for a hug.

I dropped my weapon and felt my mask grow warm from the sweat and tears. “There was a reason why I did that. That little girl is my brother’s child. He died before she was ever born, and her mother gave her up for adoption. The two with her…they were not nice people. I did what I had to do to protect my niece.” I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest and I heard silent sobs coming from Seonghwa.

“They hurt her didn’t they?” He pulled away and sighed softly. “Yes.” I reached up to remove my helmet, my scar from a Jedi lightsaber apparent across my face. “Then take her home.” I look at him, his hands reaching up to remove his own mask. “I was thinking…you and I both adopt her.” “Me? Why me?” Just before I could get anymore questions out, a pair of lips fell onto mine, hoots and hollers were the only noise to fill my ears.

“Because I love you, and I wouldn’t be asking you to do this, if I didn’t love you.” He took my hand and we both walked into the room and saw her sound asleep in her bed, hooked up to machines monitoring her. “I was also thinking of letting you go from your storm trooper role and make you my Queen. That is if that’s okay with you, Y/N.” I looked at the helmet in my hand and up at him, his eyes soft. “That’s more than okay with me Seonghwa.”

Days later, Seonghwa and I were ruling the empire side by side, Nabi, our daughter had finally felt like she could be happy and free from whoever and whatever had happened to her. That was all I ever wanted, a family, even if the child wasn’t my own. I was happy. I am happy.

[mousemilf]

My ENT said to not use the ear wash systems. The stuff that melts the wax can really dry out your ears. I got a skin infection (it was in my ear but not what most people would call an ear infection) from that happening. If it works for you, that’s great though! I just wanted to add this to the discussion. I was having the draining issues too. It actually got to the point that I couldn’t hear out of one ear. I started using hot water in the shower and like rubbing the outer part of my ear with my finger and things got a lot better!

thank you!! thats good to know - i dont use it very often, only a few times a year when my ears get really gunked up, and ive never had an issue from it. from what i understand the whole system is basically the same thing doctors used to use when id have to go get my ears cleaned all the time before i bought it. they would get to where i couldnt hear like once or twice every year 😭 and id try warm water, sudafed, just the drops by themselves, even ear candles and peroxide and stuff - which i now know is awful lol. i just have a really bad combo of weirdly tiny ear holes and too much wax in there. thanks for letting me know that about the drops though - the washer normally works just fine without them, so i will try to limit my use of them to only the most dire situations!

what i really want is one of those tiny ear vacuums. i had a terrible fungal ear infection when i was a teenager and for half a fucking year i had to go get my ear vacuumed once every two weeks and that was the BEST feeling in the world. whatever they eventually treated it with though (dont remember) the syringe poked a hole in my eardrum and i had to deal w that. but the ear vacuum was fucking orgasmic.

[ashcoveredtraveler]

The Greenpath Vessel

The Greenpath Vessel wasn't originally by themselves as they escaped The Abyss with Broken Vessel/Lost Kin, who is their eggmate. They both spent a good amount of time together, going through Deepnest until getting split up at Fungal Wastes. While Lost kin went somehow made their way inside of the waterways and eventually Kingdoms Edge, The Greenpath Vessel went upwards to, you guessed it, Greenpath.

Unlike the nosk triplets, the Greenpath Vessel is able to see. They also have a set of stunted wings that are situated on the lower part of their back. While they can't fly, they are able to launch themselves forward.

Their life is a lonely life after their separation from their twin. They slept in every crevasse that they could and barely had food. At some point they must have found out that they had retractable claws and started eating meat. Their actions slowly start attracting the attention of the Hunter.

At first it is the unusual way some of the shrubbery bent and how there is a lot more physical disturbance , but if you were to follow the path, it would just get cut off. It wasn't any track that the Hunter could recognize. Then there were multiple spots of blood, a scene of the messy kill. It was obvious that something was hunting in his territory, but he couldn't find whatever it was.

One day they crossed their paths and it doesn't go how either of them want it to go, though afterwards it's the best thing that could have happened to them. It was a storm night and the weather was getting cold and the Greenpath Vessel was starving, tired, cold and injured. While the injuries were minor, they weren't treated well and started to get infected. Luckily for them, there is an injured tik tik in the open. (Un) luckily for them, it was a trap set up by the Hunter, waiting in the bushes so he could get one last morsel for the storm to come.

They pounced on the tik tik, eating it right there. The Hunter simply watches the child eat the tik tik ravenously, taking note of what state they were in once a shell of the tik tik was left from the meal, the vessel shuffled only a few steps before dropping from exhaustion.

The Hunter decided to help the child out and took them into his warm den. There he treats their wounds and cooks meat for them to recover. They probably resisted somewhat but eventually gave in, (I will probably give more of a description on their dynamic in a later post, but I would like to just post it here.)

From there the Hunter decided to raise the vessel as a tiny hunter. He gave them the name Mothwing based on their stunted wings that felt like a moths wing. He takes them on week long hunting trips and teaches them how to survive.

Mothwing was fearless, almost too fearless. They had to be taught restraint as they seemed to want to attack any edible thing in sight. Once the restraint was taught, a side to Mothwing appeared. A very kind and patient side. A side that is willing to help those in need and show affection. The Hunter doesn't discourage this kindness, as long as it doesn't negatively affect them.

With this notice in change on their behavior when they are somewhat stable, the Hunter knew that Mothwing was not a solitary creature in nature, so me makes sure to go to the Markets of Greenpath so they could socialize with others. He could have left them with other social bugs, but he had grown attached to them(even though he probably won't admit it). Though Mothwing got attached to him as well.

During one of these trips to the markets of Greenpath, Mothwing comes across their twin Lost kin, who is named Kyne, is now living with the Nailmasters in Greenpath. While they do deeply miss each other, they still both live with their respective guardians and come to see each other every other day.

I am unsure how Pale King would find them as my original plan was for them to not split up with Kyne and stay with the Nailmasters. The Pale King would find them when scheduling a lesson with the Nailmasters. I guess the Nailmasters might tell the Pale King that Mothwing is in Greenpath when he inquires if they know of any locations of vessels.

Regardless when The Pale King offers Mothwing to stay with them in the Palace, they would decline. They do try to make as much contact with their sibling that is in the Palace, and their siblings in Deepnest. However they seemed to bond more with the Deepnest Triplets as they have more in common with them.

[official-kenralie-fanbase]

oh! now that i can send you pictures!! i can show you the coolest thing that has ever happened to me in fandom

i made a post pointing out how much sense it would make for Sophie to have a twin and when @lusilver001 was really interested and drew these when i was infodumping my ideas about her last summer.

@daydream-draws also drew Josie and Sophie after Lu did

these drawings are the MAIN reason that this Au is a real thing, i probably would have taken forever to actually see if people where interested because i kinda thought the idea was dumb, because i’ve had the idea since i was 16ish and it was a very dumb self insert at first.

every-time i got discouraged and would drop the twin Au for a while. i would eventually remember that people drew art for my unwritten Au and it would bring back the want to make it exist. because people obviously liked it too, and i wanted to create something that people would enjoy and want to read.

i’ve gone come back to the au several times, every adding more details. more recently it has come back MUCH stronger than it has in a while, i figured with some help from @crymeariveronceagain how Sophie would find Josie (which was a HUGE struggle and the main reason it was dropped so many times) and what the plot would be (still kinda stuck so i’m focusing on characters atm) but i’m actually going to write it now.

it’s probably not gonna be written until next year because it’s supposed to be the length of a novel, i want it to be good and i need to actually be able to write something that long. 

i’m also trying to figure out how to fit The Rot in there (i made up an deadly elf fungal infection) i’ll tag you in it

Oh my goodness that is so amazing!!! Wow, that art is so cool, I know if anyone ever drew my OC I'd just... spontaneously combust from happiness so that is just amazing.

It's so cool how other people's interest in your AU helped you maintain interest in it! I love how supportive people can be of each other, especially in each other's projects like this. Feel free to ask me questions about it at any time :) I can't wait to see the finished product, I've been thinking about it a lot since you started talking about it to me, so whatever help you need (plot holes or ideas or whatnot) I'd be willing to help!

And how dare you mention a cool piece of worldbuilding without telling me anything about it?!? I mean that in the best possible way, The Rot sounds super interesting, and working it into the AU would be amazing

[quietwings-fics]

Home Woven from Broken Parts

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Hollow Knight Ship: Gen (Hornet & The Knight & The Hollow Knight & Grimmchild) Additional Tags: Fluff, Light Angst, Families of Choice, Siblings, Hollow Knight Spoilers, The Knight Is Not Hollow (Hollow Knight), The Knight is Called Ghost (Hollow Knight), They/Them Pronouns for The Hollow Knight | Pure Vessel, They/Them Pronouns for The Knight (Hollow Knight), POV Hornet (Hollow Knight), Dresses, Gift Giving, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Happy, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, I just want them to be happy Wordcount: 1891 Summary:

Hornet gets a family, and Ghost finally gets some new clothes.

The little ghost is more clever than they look. Hornet takes to watching them from afar, perched along the city’s walls and the dark corners of Deepnest and in the few and far between spaces in the Queen’s Gardens where the thorns will not touch her. She is no guardian angel, nor do they need her to be with their skill. Still, she watches, curious.

She is filled with the terrible suspicion that she has sorely misjudged them, in more ways than one. First, she thought them weak, but they bested her twice (with the dull flat of the nail rather than the sharpest point, beating her back, bruising but not cutting, and that is where her doubts were born.) Second, she thought them a replacement, the next vessel, to hold off the infection for however long they could before they, too, break. Third, she thought them empty, mindless, without will or voice.

(Later, at mother’s deathbed, they will reach out with the same hands that slayed her to try and comfort Hornet. She will turn away. She will not accept. And they will leave her to mourn alone, silent as ever. She will weep for her mother, but the back of her mind will whisper if a vessel is born without heart or mind or soul, than why why why would it extend her that kindness why would it care)

But that is then, and this is now, and the little ghost is sitting on a bench in the Queen’s Station, scribbling away on their map. They add needless flourishes, crude drawings. She suspects they will take the Stag somewhere, Dirtmouth, perhaps, or further down into the deep like she urged them, and she will have to track them down again.

She only takes her eyes off the little ghost for a moment to plot her way, grimacing from the thought of the choking air of the fungal wastes. When she turns, they are gone from their bench. There was no ringing of a bell nor the thundering footsteps of the Stag, but the little ghost has vanished.

There is a tug on her dress.

She spins, needle at the ready and thread weaving a protective shield by instinct. It is only the little ghost, staring up at her with their blank mask. She lets her needle drop.

“I’ve not been as cautious as I hoped then. You caught me, little ghost. Fair is fair. What do you need?” They tilt their head, and she can almost imagine an expression. Confusion, maybe. They tug again at her dress. “You have my attention,” she says, but they only tug again.

They let go, seeming to realize that Hornet doesn’t understand what they are trying to communicate. They look down, as though in thought, and she waits. Do they want directions? Advice? (Or do they want to know why she is still following them? Could she even answer that honestly?)

The ghost tugs their cloak tighter around themselves, shifting back and forth. It is a tattered cast-off, but she doesn't know if it even cares. If it can even care. They look back up at her, wrapped in their tiny cloak, and they spin in a circle. The ends of the cloak twirl in a familiar way. When they’ve stopped, they tug on her dress again and look up. The gesture looks expectant.

“My dress?” Hornet asks to confirm, and the little ghost nods eagerly. “I wear it for the same reason you wear your cloak, to move quickly in battle.” She almost adds, and to keep warm , but the ghost’s hands are always cold. No cloak could remedy that. “Do you... like it?” To this, the ghost gives no answer, not even in gesture. They only stare until the silence has grown between them like moss. She’s not sure why she bothered, but it’s easy to forget they do not have the capacity to want, much less enjoy. (Right?)

They look down at themselves once more, touch the threadbare cloak they wear. They might look sad, if vessels could feel sadness. They reach out again for Hornet’s dress but freeze. She watches them shake their head, step back, and before she can even say a farewell, they dart away towards Fog Canyon.

Hornet could follow them, if she tried. Instead, she turns and goes the opposite way. She feels shaken, and she can’t, in that moment, place why.

~~~

The infection is gone, the old light slain, and Hornet, somehow, is not alone.

She went into the Temple of the Black Egg expecting to die. She thought, if she was lucky enough to live, she would walk out the door and leave behind the broken shells of her siblings. She still doesn’t understand how or why, after everything, they were granted mercy. They staggered out, hurt but far from dead.

Now, they rest in Dirtmouth, and things are... good. Peaceful. Hornet can almost find herself restless some days. Hollow heals slowly, and Ghost has little time to cross blades with her when they are too busy helping new bugs find their way in the safer Crossroads. She could go with them, but the bugs they lead inside are not warriors, only weary travelers. They move slowly, and though Ghost has the patience to guide them, Hornet would only find herself racing ahead. She spins her threads in the empty graveyard instead and lets her needle fly. There is no more infection, but it would shame her mother’s memory to fall out of practice.

Sometimes she climbs to the peak of King’s Pass and looks over the small town she calls home. Its soft light and tiny houses are a far cry from her birthplace. She thinks, often, of asking Ghost to come with her to Deepnest, but neither of them will stray far from Hollow yet. One day. Not yet. She can easily make out her sibling even from the peak. Hollow towers over bug and building alike. They look up, and she wonders if they can see her too, a small red dot in the dark. She makes her way back down and towards town. She is going home.

Ghost is not always gone. They come back with gifts from the travelers they show around the Crossroads and with the strange, scarlet bug who always follows them. (Grimmchild, Ghost scrawled in the dirt. Hornet is not sure Ghost fully understands the concept of names and that they are not simply what the first bug you meet calls you.) The four of them are an odd family, little and broken, but they found each other and that is all that matters.

She understands Ghost better now. They do feel. They feel so deeply that she’s astounded by it. One night, Hollow gets worse instead of better and can’t even walk, and Ghost disappears for a day. They return with a flower cradled in their hands that they place in their sibling’s hand. Hollow wears the flower still, tucked into their own cloak. Ghost walks with them through Dirtmouth, and listens to Elderbug’s stories, and plays with Grimmchild, and helps Cornifer make new maps for the influx of travelers, and Hornet cannot believe that she once thought they could not love.

They still wear a tattered cloak. She does not forget that moment in Queen’s Station.

Hornet’s mother taught her to weave spells, but she taught her to create in more ways than that. One of her first memories, her few precious memories, is of Herrah guiding Hornet’s small, clumsy hands with her own. She showed Hornet how to make silk sing. Hornet has used those lessons to stitch up her own dress more than a dozen times, so expertly that even if you knew where to look, you wouldn’t see where it’d torn.

She sets to work now on a new project. She gets fabric from Sly after haggling. She measures, and plans, and cuts. Ghost is out and will be for a few days. She timed this perfectly. When they return, she will present her gift.

Hollow watches her work. They fit in their home, but only barely. They took the largest abandoned house in Dirtmouth, and still, Hollow has to bow to enter. Perhaps that will be her next project, though she has no idea how she’d go about it. Weaving, she understands. Architecture, not so much. She focuses, her fingers moving quickly. Half of the work is muscle memory, letting her mind drift and keeping her body busy. It centers her.

When she has to hold up the project with one hand to examine it, trying to pull the needle with her other hand, Hollow reaches over. They easily hold up the fabric with their right hand. She nods her thanks. Hollow is steady as stone. She tries not to think about why they are so accustomed to stillness. She finishes with their help. Some stitches are crooked, and it is a little too long. She has not done this properly in a long time. It is the finest work she has ever created.

Ghost’s arrival is heralded by the familiar shout of Grimmchild and laughter that sounds like Iselda’s. Hornet counts to six before they come racing into their home.

“Welcome back, little Ghost,” she greets. Hollow pats their head, and Ghost seems to relax. They cannot smile without a mouth, but she has become very good at reading both of her silent siblings and they radiate contentment. Hollow points at her and Ghost turns, head tilted. She holds out her new project for them to inspect.

It is a dress fashioned after her own, but smaller to fit them. The only color she could find were blues and grays, as though the dress had been woven from the walls of Dirtmouth itself. Ghost took it, looking between her and the dress.

(She will realize, later, that this may be the first time Ghost has received a gift.)

Ghost tries at first to toss it on over their head. It catches on their horns and they can’t get it back off. Hornet goes to help, and Hollow... laughs. It's not a sound, per say, but a joyful shake that takes her a minute to recognize. She helps Ghost take the dress off and shows them how to step into it instead. They do so, and when the dress fits, they clap twice, delighted. “It looks very nice on you.” Hornet tells them, and-

And all of a sudden, Ghost is hugging her.

It has been so long since she has been hugged by anyone that she freezes. Ghost doesn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting for her to hug back. She feels incredible. She feels loved.

And oh, but she loves them back.

Ghost breaks the hug to show off for Hollow and Grimmchild. They spin, and the Grimmchild flies around them, chirping happily. Hollow is the next recipient of Ghost’s hug, and if anything, looks even more taken off-guard than Hornet felt. She loves Hollow, loves them both, loves the little Grimmchild, just as she loved Mother once.

She hugs Hollow next, wraps an arm around Ghost to pull them close as well, and Grimmchild wriggles into the hug, still chirping. The four of them are home. Hornet is not alone, and she will never be alone again.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on Joel's Decision

Okay... so the last episode of TLOU was... a lot. And obviously, one of the biggest questions to come out of it is did Joel do the right thing?

Now there's always gonna be people that don't agree and that's understandable but I'm just gonna drop where my brain is at with this show atm because oh boy is everything complicated.

Did Joel do the right thing?

To be blunt? No. But it all gets a lot more messy than this.

I think the best place to start is whether or not Joel prevented the end of the apocalypse and honestly speaking, I don't think so. Now I don't study medicine so I'm not going to claim that I'm an expert on making vaccinations, but the limited microbiology, bacteriology and virology that I've studied gives me I small idea on whether or not the Fireflies' plan was ever actually viable. And I don't think it was.

As of 2023, while there are a few in development, we do not have a single vaccination that can be used to treat fungal infections. Now seeing as we haven't been able to make one up until now, the chance of producing one during an apocalypse where technology hasn't been updated since 2003? Yeah... probably not going to happen. And even if they did have the facilities, I'm still not sure if it would even work. I don't have enough of an understanding of medicine to know if giving people specific signalling chemicals would work, but I'm a little iffy on the idea. The way that vaccinations work is by introducing the body to a pathogen (something that causes disease) in a form or dose that will not do a lot of damage, but will allow the body to learn how to fight it. But that's not the plan here. They aren't planning on creating a cure that will allow the body to fight off Cordyceps, they plan to make something that will trick the fungus into thinking that that person is already infected.

And I'm not entirely sure that that's possible.

But like I said, I'm not an expert on medicine so for the benefit of the doubt, let's say that they actually do make a cure. Hooray! This means that they can save the world right? ...right?

Errr... no. Even if the Fireflies did manage to make a cure, A) how are they planning to make enough of this cure to treat this many people? and B) how do they expect to transport this cure?

We have to remember that this is a global apocalypse. They would have to get this cure to everywhere on the planet where there are people who are at risk of being infected. Bearing I mind, medicines (especially vaccinations) have to be stored in specific conditions. Seeing as they are currently struggling to find food, I don't know how they plan to get enough equipment together to ship this cure off the right places and for it to still be in a good enough condition to be usable by the time it gets there. And then the cure has to be administered to enough people for it to prevent the outbreak from happening again. For this to happen, you need to reach herd immunity, which, depending on the thing being treated, requires between around 70-90% of the population being vaccinated.

I get that they wanted to find an end to the apocalypse, but I don't think that the Fireflies would have been able to produce a cure, make enough of it to vaccinate 70-90% of the population and then distribute it worldwide.

But even then, I still don't think that all of that justifies Joel's actions. Joel didn't go to find Ellie, guns blazing, because he had thought through the logistics of the Fireflies' plan. Someone was threatening to take his daughter away from him again and he snapped. Even if he didn't prevent the end of the apocalypse, he still killed a lot of people to protect one girl.

And the argument can't even be made that he did it for her. Sure, there would be a part of him that is rescuing her so that she doesn't have to go through those experiments and tests, but ultimately, he did it for himself. He tells Ellie earlier on in the episode that they don't need to to go through with it but she chooses to carry on. She doesn't want everything she did to be for nothing.

She made the choice to go through with the plan and Joel disobeyed her.

At the end of the day, what Joel did was selfish. Even if the plan to make a cure hadn't worked, he still went against the wishes of the person he was protecting and he did it for himself. And what's even worse, he lied to Ellie about what he had done because he knew that she wouldn't have agreed with him.

So no, I don't think Joel made the right choice.

But I don't hate him. There's a part of me that gets it. It's really hard to apply moral justification when we don't live in the world that these people do and every character in this show, including Joel is living with extreme trauma. We know how much the death of Sarah can trigger him, so it isn't surprising that this situation caused him to snap. It's understandable.

But I don't think that that makes him right.

[advopticvisioncare]

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[japanesepenguin]

Quick, Akina's in the office today. Current state of the garden?

Current state of the garden!

First row (left): wind- and typhoon-rain-destroyed beets; second row: wind-, typhoon-rain-, and caterpillar-destroyed carrots; third row: somehow surviving beets; fourth row: newly planted radishes (just sprouted)!

I've learned a lot from the above and I'd do things completely different with a second chance.

Since... well, probably for as long as I can remember, I have never intentionally killed another living creature (except mosquitoes, which I have always made it a point to intentionally kill), but in the past week I've killed a dozen aphids and a handful of caterpillars. I think trying to grow food brings out some primitive nature life-and-death passions.

Anyways, here's the latest addition: A $0.67 plum tree, just purchased yesterday. It was out in the direct sun in a tiny pot for at least a week slowly decreasing in clearance price (from an original $9.00) and I finally bought it last night. I've repotted it into my biggest pot with my best dirt in hopes it'll bounce back and establish itself before winter. The plums are technically "Japanese apricots."

Kale seedlings just absolutely taking their time to grow in the 90°F+ weather we've had the past two months. Hoping they'll take off soon and I can transplant them here:

The new side land! The owner visited a couple weeks ago and thanks to Akina I've learned this is our space, it's okay to plant things directly into the ground, and it has much better soil (since confirmed). He also will donate some edamame for us to plant here in the spring. In the meantime:

I've transplanted most of the broccoli sprouts I had. On the left and right are radishes (just sowed the seeds today). The photo distorts the perspective, but this is only using about 1/3rd of the row space. There's lots more room, which will be for:

Left: beets (I'm trying to sow them in the seed trays rather than direct sow since the Internet made it seem like it was possible, though I'm not convinced), ice plants, and two trays worth of salad greens.

The ice plants were Akina's request. They're... very hard to grow and have particular requirements. I got about 20% of them to germinate and now I'm just trying to not kill them.

Anyways, here's the shiso/ooba, going crazy. It's starting to bolt, which was the intention, since you can get hundreds of seeds off a single plant and two $0.07 plants is way cheaper than a packet of seeds (while also coming with leaves you can eat).

Got the basil to recover, looking good.

Pentas is just about on its last flowers. I hope I can get these to survive the winter; I really like this flower.

These flowers just keep making flowers. I dunno what they're called.

A fairly recent addition.

Rosemary clipped from... a public space and transplanted here. There might be a fungal infection on the bottom, giving it another day or two to see.

This is a male kiwi plant. It was $0.07 (like everything else). Only the female plant produces the fruit (and a male is needed for that to happen), but they both produce flowers. It was really close to death when I got it, but after dropping all its leaves it's now starting to recover.

The mums are just... existing. Flowers come in small and brown and then die.

The king 'n queen, blueberry bushes. Samson has a bunch of new branches and SukSuk just started sprouted her first two:

Wee~

Rock collection. Very important.

And, out of everything, the two things not doing great are the mint plants...

This concludes your garden update.

[doughnutbooboo]

星辰大海，终有一别

This tribute is dedicated to May.

Four weeks have passed since May's passing from adenocarcinoma on August 16th at 5:25 PM. The challenge of crafting a suitable tribute has been formidable, with each iteration deemed inadequate. The limitations of language in conveying May's remarkable strength and courage have become apparent. The conventional expressions of condolence have only served to intensify the sense of loss.

Instead of writing how great of a dog May was (which she was. She is the best dog on earth), and how much we love her (which we do. I’ll continue to love her until the end of my life), I will write how she died.

May's symptoms commenced in the beginning of April, characterized by swelling and lameness in her rear left paw. Diagnostic investigations, including X-ray and biopsy, yielded inconclusive results. They showed no sign of bacterial and fungal infection, no sign of cancer. She was prescribed Metacam, which brought the swelling down immediately. By the end of April, the swelling was completely gone and she was using her leg as normal. We thought it was a twisted muscle or tendon and decided to go to China as planned.

The swelling and lameness came back around May 15th. A subsequent biopsy during revealed similar findings, prompting referral to Toronto Veterinary Emergency Hospital for further evaluation. May had her consultation on June 4th and three possibilities were laid in front of us: a foreign object trapped in her leg which caused all the swelling and tenderness, a rare parasite infection, or cancer. A CT scan, followed by an explosive surgery, were performed on her the next day. When the surgeon cut open her leg, she saw perivascular lesions with multi-cystic appearance along the muscle membranes. The oncologist was called over for a consultation. The lesions did not appear to be cancerous to him. Without the presence of any foreign object, they suspected she had a rare parasite infection. Multiple samples from the lesions were taken for further testing.

We got a phone call from the surgeon on June 10th and received the most devastating news. Every single sample she took, including the inguinal lymph node, came back to be adenocarcinoma. If this was not dreadful enough, we were told in most cases, the leg is a metastasized secondary site. The primary tumor is most likely somewhere in the abdomen. This is a stage 4 adenocarcinoma with very poor prognosis.

We were given an option to try an oral chemotherapy drug for one month. This drug has the potential to slow down the progression of the carcinoma, with a small likelihood of shrinking the tumors. By the end of the one month trial, we all vitnessed the further progression of the swelling and lameness, to a degree that she completely stopped using that leg. And she was clearly in pain. During her follow-up appointment with the oncologist, we found out her weight dropped from 36.7 kg to 33 kg in one month. We were suggested to do an ultrasound of her abdomen and a X-ray of her chest. Now looking back, those tests were meant to confirm she had cancer metastasized all over her body, in order to justify euthanasia.

Against all odds, her tests came back clear! No mass was found on the X-ray and the ultrasound. The leg was confirmed to be where the primary tumor was. Amputation of that limb would be a valid treatment, potentially a cure! Both the oncologist and the surgeon thought it was the “devastating case A”, but it turned out to be the “optimistic case B”. On July 18th, May had her rear left limb amputated.

The universe fucked us real hard! One week after the amputation, I noticed redness and swelling along her incision line. We brought her in for a recheck and it was believed to be a start of an infection. With the antibiotics prescribed to her, the “infection” got significantly worse in the next five days. When we brought her in for the oncologist follow-up, we were delivered the most dreadful news once again. The histopathology report found that the adenocarcinoma had metastasized to the left popliteal lymph node, the left inguinal lymph node, and to the skin around the inguinal lymph node. The metastasized area of the skin is extensive, covering her skin near her vagina, her anus, and above her tail. It was not some infection. It was the recurrence of cancer. It was neither “case A”, nor “case B”. It was the insidious “case C” no one has seen it coming.

From July the 31st, the day of the oncologist follow-up of the amputation, to August 16th, the day we euthanized her, the cancer was growing on her skin like a wild fire. There was visible difference every single day. I watched it grow, ulcerate, grow, could no longer maintain the growth rate, and die. The death of the cancer tissue developed into necrosis, which gave out a foul smell, the smell of rotting. May started to constantly lick after her oozing and stains. Leia joined very shortly after. Constantly cleaning after one’s own necrosis stains is not a dignified way to live.

We brought May in on August 14th, knowing in our heart we were in the end game, with the slightest hope that maybe some other chemotherapy protocol could prolong her lifespan. She was seen by another oncologist (hers was on vacation at the time), the surgeon who did the amputation, and the anesthesiologist. They were quite certain that May was reaching her tipping point. They were all shocked at how fast this carcinoma was progressing. I asked them to give her drugs that would make her comfortable for three more days. We didn’t care her kidney or liver might fail at that point. The anesthesiologist gave her a shot of fentanyl and a dose of slow releasing ketamine. With the other pain meds she has already been on, she was on five types of pain medications at the end of her life. We brought her to her vet for euthanasia on August 16th at 4:30 pm. May passed away at 5:25 pm.

Four weeks have passed and I found how fascinating my memory plays tricks on me. Those memories of tiny little details of May started to blur. Her very own unique smell, how she sighs when she’s satisfied, how she sighs when she’s tired and ready to sleep, the sound she makes when she was panting in different ways, the warning bark she gives out when she’s guarding, the happy bark when she’s saying hello, the angry bark before she starts a fight, the sound she makes when she comes upstairs, the sound she makes when she comes upstairs with three legs.

At the same time, some images will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I’ll always remember how she managed to walk up and down the stairs, went to the backyard to shit eight times per night when she was on the chemo drug. She never had a single accident in the house to the last moment of her life, whether was with that cancer leg gave her constant pain, or was with three legs right after her amputation on the same day. She didn’t even poop or urinate herself after she was euthanized. She lived a dignified life.

I’ll always remember the day we picked her up from her amputation surgery. She was spinning in circles with three legs, totally lossing herself with so much joy, just like how she losses her mind and forgets to breathe when we pick her up from the kennel or daycare every single time! July 18th is one of the happiest days in my life! I had so much hope that she was cured from the amputation.

I’ll always remember how her eyes shot wide open that very second she died. I’ll never forget how her body was slowly lossing the temperature and softness one hour after she passed, and that’s when we said the final farewell. Our ten years of life together came to an end. We will never see each other again.

I’m not gonna tell you that I think of her every minute or hour of my life since she passed away. Because I don’t and that’s only gonna drive me insane. I’m not gonna tell you that life will never be the same because life has been surprisingly the same.

People die everyday second of everyday. Animals die everyday. May’s death is like a drop of water into the ocean. It has been an honour and true happiness to spend ten years of my life with May, a brilliant, loyal, ridiculously strong and brave German shepherd, such a wonderful being that as an atheist, the creation of May is a mystery to me.

星辰大海，终有一别。

我会用我的余生来想念你。