#Big Gold Brick

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Sun's Out, Guns Out

Anselm Vogelweide x F!Reader • Rating: PG Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • ko-fi •

Summary: Anselm's purposefully got the wrong idea.

A/N: I simply must give a massive shout out to @reallyrallyauthor and their stunning Anselm fics which haunt me every day and night. They have rewired my brain.

Warnings: Anselm being a little shit, fluff, so many pet names oh my god, swearing, reader is wearing a swimsuit, kisses, typos, my terrible German, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 771

“Anselm,” His name comes out a little exasperatedly, which isn’t your intention. “This…” You gesture to him, “This is not what I meant.” 

He quirks his eyebrow up at you, “How so meine Süße?” My sweet.

You give him a look and he smiles, he knows exactly what he’s doing. 

You cross your arms, shifting your weight to your left leg. “You can’t wear this on the beach.”

He looks down at himself for a moment, as if he is seeing his body for the first time before he meets your eyes. Not that you can tell through his dark circle sunglasses. 

“I’m afraid you’re misinformed, meine Hase, weil ich das trage.” My bunny, because I am wearing this.

“Anselm.” You say, unimpressed and his grin widens- the living personification of the Cheshire cat. 

“My love, I don’t see the problem.” He says lightly, practically turning the words into poetry with the rhythm of his voice. 

“Sun’s out, guns out. Means your arms, and,” you raise your hand at the eager look in his eyes, cutting him short, “Arms, as in these,” you poke his biceps, “not weapons arms, not guns.”

“But my dear,” he takes hold of your hand, peppering kisses to your knuckles, “My arms are out.” 

You glare. “You’re a little shit, you know that?” 

“And you love me for it.” He gives you that soft expression that makes you weak at the knees. 

“I don’t think I do.”

“You wound me, my dove.” He kisses your wrist, keeping his eyes trained on yours. 

You shake your head, trying to keep a stern look on your face. “You can’t wear those guns to the beach.” 

The guns in question where in elabourate hosters across his chest and shoulders that you were sure where originally a harness of some sort. The weapons themselves were ornate, practically antiques, and looked like some sort of flintlock pistols. The whole outfit, a pair of black speedos that were a fraction too tight and a pair of khaki green wellington boots (he did not want to get sand on his feet or in his shoes) combined with the guns was… interesting.

He grins, licking his bottom lip. “Yes, I can.” 

“It’s a beach-”

“A private one, we’re the only ones here.” 

You pull an unimpressed face and gesture a little more dramatically than you need to at his bodyguards. 

He places another kiss to your wrist, “They count as ‘the only ones’...” The guards make an obvious effort to not look anywhere near either of you, part of you feels sorry for them, in their three piece suits and cuff links in the heat, their smart dress shoes sinking into the sand.

 “Besides,” he pulls you gently, urging you closer to him. “They’re not loaded.”

“Then what are they for?” You say exasperatedly.

“Decoration, my love.”

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose with your free hand. “You’re going to go swimming with-”

He shakes his head, “I’m not going to go swimming, I am going to sit under the large umbrella Sebastian will put up and relax.” 

“Anselm.”

“My leg, my beloved,” he gives you the puppy dog eyes, rubbing his brace. 

You tut, “The salt water will do you good.”

“The metal will rust.” He pouts.

“You didn’t have to wear the metal one, and besides, I asked Angelo to bring your cane.” 

He opens his mouth to speak.

“Not that one.”

Anselm smiles and closes his mouth dramatically, but you don’t miss the little glare he gives Angelo.

“Hey, none of that. I asked Angelo and he just did as I requested.” 

“Hmm,” he steps closer, wrapping his arms around your waist, “I do love when you get all bossy Bӓrchen.” He nuzzles into your neck, pressing light kisses to your pulse point. “Makes me want to take you right here.”

“You’ll definitely get sand in places you don’t want.” 

“Oh, I just don’t want sand in my shoes, I am quite happy to feel it in more intimate places.” He nips lightly at your skin and you shiver. 

“You’re coming in the water with me.” You press, but your voice isn’t very demanding. 

“Of course, my love.” He kisses lower, trailing his lips to your collarbone. 

“And you’re taking the guns off.” 

“Of course, my love.” He kisses the top of your chest, trailing his tongue along the edge of your swimsuit. “But you’re going to be talking this off too.” He lightly dips his fingers under the material at your hip, snapping back against your skin with a smile.  

“Of course,” you say, saccharinely sweet, “my love.” 

Thank you for reading!

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @whatthefishh

@romanarose @strangerhands @saturn-rings-writes @lonelyisamyw-0love @queerponcho

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@novarosewood

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[angel-of-the-moons]

Carry-Ons

Anselm Vogelweide x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Anselm being a shameless weirdo, sex toys, NSFW stuff, references to sex so not for kiddies!

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N: I blame @reallyrallyauthor for this asjlsnodn. I haven't seen the movie yet but from your writings plus the scene comps I've seen I got this stupid ass idea in my head I have to spit out. Feeling a bit under the weather because of a tummy bug but I'm hoping to get over it so we can still make the family trip.

💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰

When his private plane was down due to a recall on vital parts, Anselm was livid. He had planned on treating you to a nice rural trip for the two of you, where no distractions or "business" aims to worry about. Where--he hoped--the two of you would spend almost the whole two weeks fornicating like horny rabbits in springtime.

He was trying to find different methods of travel, even looking at private charters or possibly outright buying a new jet. He had the money to do it, of course.

But Anselm was completely flummoxed when you actually brought up the idea of flying on a public flight. Like a lowly... commoner!

"Oh, come on. It's cheaper, you don't have to do much..." You say, rolling your eyes as you clicked through flights on your laptop. "And it'd save a little bit of money, if you think about it."

Anselm huffed, licking the spoon free of ice cream (perhaps being a bit too messy with it, intentionally) and rolled his eyes right back. "Money is hardly a concern for me, my love."

"C'mon! It could be fun." You try, grinning and batting your eyelashes at him.

He shot you a skeptical look.

Yeah, he wasn't gonna budge on this, was he?

Well, it's a good thing you know how to talk and twist Anselm to bend how you want him. Both figuratively and literally.

You slowly slide your laptop off of your lap and stand from the expensive leather chaise, sauntering over to his desk and perching your ass firmly on the edge, scooting over until your legs bracketed his torso, your feet planted on either side of his hips and pushing into the cushioning.

Almost immediately, a hungry glare overtakes him, his eyes behind his glasses becoming dark and stormy as he quirked a thick brow.

You pull the handkerchief from the pocket of his suit and wipe his messy beard, tutting playfully. "Honestly, Anselm, you eat like a messy toddler, sometimes."

"Oh... I thought you liked it when I ate messy?" He crooned, tilting his head as your fingers brush through his beard. "Especially if how much you writhe and soak my beard with that sweet little cunt of yours is anything to go by..."

You scoff and chuckle, rolling your eyes at him as you flick him in the chest with the handkerchief. "You know what I mean."

"Hmm, yes." He purred, his hands immediately going to your inner thighs, his thumbs teasing the edges of your stockings, hiking your skirt up to playfully pluck at your garter straps.

Anselm's eyes immediately went between your legs, his tongue running along the seam of his lips as he stared at your crotch.

"Ah-ah." You say, fingers gripping his chin to force him to look at you.

"You're no fun, sometimes, darling." Anselm pouts, his brows furrowing. "Such a tease."

"Will you consider booking a flight, then?" You ask once more.

He frowns further. "No."

You pout in return, your fingers snagging the curls of his beard as you consider another approach.

"Well..." You purr, relinquishing your grip on his beard to grip at his messy salt and pepper curls, tugging his head down so you could look down on him further.

His eyes flutter closed and his mouth opens in a low, breathy sound as you continue.

"How about this... When we book the plane, when we get to the cabin..." You tug him up so you can brush the scars over his left ear with your lips, '...you can do whatever you want to me. Or vice versa."

The moan that comes from him is damn near pornographic, and he viciously licks his lips to moisten them.

"Yes. But we only fly first class." He rattles off, his breath hitching.

Got 'im.

You grin mischievously and hum, "Good boy, Anselm." You begin to turn to get off of his large, ornate desk to return to your laptop and book a flight.

His hands seize your thighs again, and he growls up at you.

"Where do you think you're going?" He rasps, his hands yanking your panties down and pushing your skirt up further.

His thumbs part your folds and once more he licks his lips like a hungry dog.

"If I'm to suffer the embarrassment of flying public... I demand some up front compensation."

💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰

Of course Anselm had booked all of the first class seats just so the two of you wouldn't have to sit around other people. It was such an Anselm thing to do.

You had to deal with him loudly complaining of the pitiful lounge you were able to wait in, swatting him on the leg when he would get rude with a random person.

However, watching him deal with a woman who was harassing the staff of the airport over a simple problem with a simple fix was funny. The woman was clearly intoxicated while he began to lay into her.

"Honestly, my dear. Could you make it any more plain that your parents are brother and sister?" He'd said, his tone neutral, the drawl of his native tongue heavy with each word uttered, much to the woman's shock (and the staff's amusement).

"You are obviously wading in the shallow end of your gene pool, judging by how misplaced your teeth seem to be. Your brain must not be developed properly either because you cannot grasp the simple solution to your problem." He clicked his tongue and you had to hide your mouth behind your hand to cover up the laugh that was trying to bubble free as the woman tried to flounder.

Anselm didn't let up.

"Did your mother-aunt drink whilst pregnant with you? Surely you're suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome, or some kind of mental deficiency in a similar regard. Even your excuse for an "accent" makes you sound inbred and ignorant. You--"

The inebriated woman immediately began to bawl as she fled for the bathroom, her heavy mascara running down her face as Anselm slapped a wad of bills into the hand of the poor young worker, shoo'ing them off.

"Split it amongst yourselves. Honestly, I would have shot the bitch and called it a day." He dismissed, walking with you to the bag checking area, his leg brace squeaking almost as loud as you began to cackle.

"I only punish the staff that deserve it, my love." Anselm said, kissing your cheek. "That woman was a filthy creature who needed to be told such things. Honestly, that poor child looked ready to crumble from that woman's verbal abuse."

You grin at him, your matching suitcases wheeling behind you as you pulled them. It was only fair after basically bullying Anselm into booking a public flight.

Honestly now it was more an experiment to see how he would act--to "loosen the leash" a bit on him, you might say--in a "low-budget" public setting such as this. You didn't regret it one bit.

You let the security crew help you hoist your suitcases up and slide them across the metal table, Anselm looking frankly bored already at the tedium. Checking his oxygen tank was rather simple--even if you had suspicions that it didn't contain "oxygen" at all--and it passed through quickly without much examination.

The x-ray beeps softly as the first suitcase is scanned--and the guards frown with concern as they pull it out to check it.

"People are like that everywhere if you're unlucky." You say as the second guard unzips the first suitcase. "Hopefully we won't have any more--"

Your voice goes silent as the top to the suitcase flops open, and placed nice and neat atop the folded laundry...

...was a rather large, ornate, custom dildo and a cushioned leather harness.

The guard slowly creeps his wide eyes up to you as his coworker turns to cough, his face reddening as he tried to hold in his laughter.

"Uh, ma'am--" The one holding the case stuttered.

"That's not my suitcase." You say.

You and the two guards stare at each other, blinking owlishly until all three of you slowly turn to look at Anselm, who was leaning on his cane, a bored but also slightly amused smirk on his face as he watched the debacle.

"...What?" He asked innocently, quirking an eyebrow at the lot of you. "I kept my luggage within acceptable weight limits."

"Uh... I don't... Uh, I'm not sure--" The guard turned to look at his coworker for help, his eyes wide and pleading for help, his cheeks flushed with color.

"I-Is there a protocol for... for--"

"Gah, will I not be able to bring it?" Anselm frowns deeply, an irritated tone slipping into his voice. "I had it custom made, you know. I'd hoped we could make use of it."

He clicked his tongue and shrugged boredly, "Either on the plane or at our destination, I don't care which..."

You pinch the bridge of your nose and curse, trying not to smile and laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Of course the shithead would pull a stunt like this.

The guards looked like a strange cocktail of amused, confused, worried, and aghast at the thoughts running through their heads.

"Uh... I don't... I don't think you can bring that on the flight. For... for security.... reasons..." The younger guard stammered out, awkwardly adjusting his collar with his finger.

Anselm sighs and rolls his eyes, waving his hand. "Fine, fine, you can keep it. I suppose I'll have to check what kind of stores I can order from while we're at our destination."

"Anselm!" You hiss, a grin on your face despite your mortification as the poor guard--in view of cameras and other people no less!--hoists the hefty glass dildo out of the suitcase and sets it in a separate container off to the side, coughing nervously as he checks the rest of your things.

As you boarded the flight, your suitcases being loaded and your carry-on bag thoroughly inspected--you elbowed Anselm.

"What the hell was that?!" You whisper-shout.

Anselm grinned at you, much like a hungry shark.

"Why my dear... If I must suffer the embarrassment of flying public... you deserve a little embarrassment yourself."

[17-personalities]

this always has me thinking about Big Gold Brick.

i just wanna know everyone’s reactions to that strange little movie.

[my-secret-shame]

[nowritingonthewall]

OSCAR ISAAC + glasses 😊

Moon Knight | Ex Machina | Suburbicon | Big Gold Brick | SNL | Scenes from a Marriage | We Live Here | Che Part I

[faretheeoscar]

Just an Anselm appreciation post

[iolaussharpe-24]

This is a collection of Anselm Vogelweide/Oscar Isaac pictures that I had to dig way too deep to find floating around. These didn't come up just by looking for 'Anselm Vogelweide' or 'Big Gold Brick BTS'. I had to DIG to find these.

Edit: I forgot about a screenshot I took from @bitchshitdewdrop.

[cameronthecryptid]

I’m going to be so for real right now

Anselm looks like a schnauzer to me and I need you guys to see it too

[ivystoryweaver]

Angstember 24 Masterlist

I'll add titles/links as I go

My Masterlist || Angstember Prompt Post (calendar)

Sept. 1 - I'm So Sorry - Outcome 3

Sept. 2 - Misunderstanding - Miguel O'Hara

Sept. 3 - Wait, I Didn’t Mean To - Nathan Bateman

Sept. 5 - Forbidden Love - Laurent Leclaire

Sept. 11 - I Never Knew - Moon Knight System

Sept. 14 - You Never Said Anything - Duke Leto Atreides

Sept 19 - Can You Forgive Me? - Shiv

Sept. 21 - Can’t Find the Words - Llewyn Davis

Sept. 22 - POSSIBLY: Remembering - Moon Knight System Sept. 23 - Sept. 24 - POSSIBLY: Danger - Poe Dameron Sept. 25 - Sept. 26 - Sept. 27 - Sept. 28 -

Sept. 29 - SCHEDULED: Can't Breathe Without You - Anselm Vogelweide

Sept. 30 -

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

thinking about AnselemxReaderxBlue where the reader wakes up to Anselem spooning baby Blue n playing with him while they wait for her to wake 👀 I can’t decide if she’d love watching them rock into each other or punish them for getting started without her

I am so sorry this took so long and also I got a bit carried away...

Trine [4]

Anselm Vogelweide X Blue Jones X F!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Part One • Trine Masterlist • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? • request info • ko-fi •

Series Masterlist

Warnings: errrrrrrr, reader is married to Anselm, Anselm refers to reader as ‘my love’, Blue being such a sub, begging, teasing, edging, dacryphilia - a bit, p in v sex, hand jobs, spanking, anal fingering, cream pies, oral (f receiving), there's the smallest bit of german in here, typos, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 2490

________________________________

Blue whimpers weakly, pressing his face into the pillow to try to quieten the moans that catch in his throat. 

Anselm growls softly behind him, his chest pressed against his back and nipping lightly at his earlobe before sucking hard at his neck. Blue sobs, his spine bowing as Anselm’s hand keeps fisting his cock, speeding up and then slowing down the second Blue tries to chase his high. 

“Aww, my kleine blau,” Anselm whispers, chuckling in his ear and Blue whines desperately. “So loud. Do you want to wake my wife, hmm? Think she’ll take pity on you do you?” He presses his free hand against Blue’s forehead and pulls him back, exposing his neck even more. “She won’t.” He hisses and bites again at his ear. 

Blue squirms, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. “Please, Anselm, please.” 

“Aww, you beg so prettily, my love.” Anselm’s hand rapidly increases for a moment before he slows painfully. “Why would I ever want to give you what you want when you sound and look so sweet like this?” 

A sob of frustration leaves Blue’s lips, forgetting momentarily that you are sleeping next to him. You stir a little at the sound, still feeling the warm pull of slumber and ache in your muscles from the previous evening's activities. 

Anselm stoves two fingers into Blue’s mouth and rapidly increases the movement of his wrist, purposefully making the slap, slap, slap of skin echo louder around the room and Blue’s choked whines more pitiful. 

He bites down hard on Blue’s neck, intentionally pulling a sharp muffled sob from his throat. 

Anselm’s eyes, dark and predatory, are glued to yours as you wake fully and take in the scene before you. 

Blue gazes imploringly, reaching his hands out for you needily. But Anselm quickly removes his fingers from his mouth and pins Blue’s arms to his chest. 

“Naughty, naughty,” he hisses just before he licks a hot stripe up Blue’s neck.  He looks back to you and smiles sweetly, “Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?” 

Blue cries out desperately. 

You raise an eyebrow at him. “I did. Did you sleep at all, or have you been torturing Blue the whole night?” 

Anselm grins wickedly. “Only for the last, oh… thirty minutes or so.” 

Blue sobs, arching his back and trying to buck his hips to meet Anselm’s hand. “Please,” he looks to you with tears in his eyes, his bottom lip between his teeth. And you can’t help but smile. 

You shift a little towards him and lean forward just enough to lightly brush your lips against his. 

Blue lets out another sweet whimper. His lips are hot and wet from where he keeps biting them. He darts his tongue out, briefly licking into your mouth as he opens his, retreating back and urging you to follow. 

You growl, grabbing hold of his cheeks and stroking his skin as you slip your tongue past his lips and kiss him deeply. He tries to push himself against you, straining against Anselm’s tight hold while his hips still buck desperately to reach his high. 

He wants to sink into the sensations, melt between the both of you and become liquid in your hands. 

Anselm stops his movements altogether, squeezing the base of Blue’s cock firmly. He can’t take it anymore and sobs loudly, tears in the corners of his eyes and slipping out from the constant edging. He breaks the kiss with you pitifully, biting his lip and shuddering. 

“You’re being mean,” you say playfully, swatting Anselm’s arm lightly while you stroke Blue’s cheeks. Acting as if his tears didn’t send heat racing downwards. 

“Am I, my love?” He grins wickedly despite the faux innocence in his voice. 

“Very.” You smile back. 

“You’d spoil him if he was all yours, you know?” He chuckles, enjoying how Blue squirms in his arms when he’s being ignored like this, how his breathing increases. 

“Oh, would I?” You lean forward and kiss Anselm lightly, barely a touch of your lips. 

He groans and grabs hold of the back of your neck, keeping you in place so that he can lick into your mouth as he pleases. His grip is firm, warm and sure as he steals the breath from your lungs. 

Blue places a light kiss to your neck, nuzzling into your skin for a moment before whining loudly as Anselm squeezes his cock firmly once more. He breaks the kiss but keeps his hand on the back of your neck as he tuts at Blue. 

“Naughty naughty, trying to get on her good side.” He kisses you again, swiping his tongue over yours. “My love, he deserves to be punished.” 

You chuckle and Blue pouts and whines. “Anselm,” but you barely get the word out before he kisses you deeply. 

“I should tie him to the bed and fuck you on top of him until he’s sorry.” 

Blue squirms, shaking his head rapidly and practically sobbing. Panic gripping his chest at the idea he’s upset Anselm that much. 

You stroke his cheeks, seeing the distress on his face. You kiss his forehead. “It’s just play.” Anselm quickly nuzzles Blue’s neck, sucking a love bite onto his pulse point. “My sweet little thing,” he hushes in Blue’s ear. “So good for me, for us.” He places another quick kiss to his cheek before moving back and leaning over so he can rummage in his bedside table and pulls out a bottle of lube. 

Blue nestles into you, kissing along your jaw, one hand on your hip while the other squeezes your breast.

“Please,” he mutters against your skin, so desperate and horny he can’t even think straight. “Please, can I?” He slides his hand under your soft thigh and hitches your leg over his, nudging the thick head of his weeping cock at your entrance. 

He hisses, his eyes rolling back in his head when he feels how wet you are. How his tip glides through your stick folds. “You like this?” He mutters desperately, “like seeing me so desperate?” He bites his lip, trying to stop the shallow thrusts of his hips, trying not to sink inside your tight, wet heat. 

“I do.” You whisper, running your nails along his scalp and he shudders, gasping. 

“Please,” he groans, his eyelids fluttering in an effort to keep them open. “Please, need you both to use me. Need to come with you both.” 

"So, eager to please mein Süßer.” Anselm kneels over you both, pushing lightly between Blue’s shoulder blades so he turns, pushing you onto your back and him on top of you. 

Anselm smacks his ass once and Blue yelps in surprise more than pain, pouting. 

You can’t suppress your giggle. 

“You can’t help yourself,” Anselm tuts, “I move away for eine Minute and you’re already begging to get balls deep in my wife.” 

Blue squirms. “I-”

Anselm cuts him off with two sharp slaps to each ass cheek that has Blue wailing and biting his lip. The pain spreads deliciously up his spine, settling in the base of his cock. The weight of it is almost too much to bear. 

Anselm nods his head to you, and you smile. “Legs up, my love.” He asks softly, and you do as he requests, wrapping your legs around Blue and crossing your ankles over the small of his back. 

Anselm is the one that grabs Blue’s leaking cock and lines him up with your aching pussy. He pushes on Blue’s ass to guide him inside, holding his hip to stop him from thrusting in too quickly. 

Blue whines as he follows Anselm’s directions perfectly, gazing down at you with lust drunk eyes. “Thank you, thank you, oh god, thank you,” falls out of his mouth with every sweet inch that plunges deeper, squeezing him so tight and making him lightheaded. “You feel so good, I’m-” His breath hitches, “I’m gonna cum, I’m sorry, I’m-”

Anselm smacks his ass hard again, his skin reddening quickly. The jolt forces him in the last few centimetres, presses him flush against you and he groans loudly. 

The stretch has you tensing, arching up towards him as he presses deliriously deep, rubbing perfectly against the source of your ache. 

“You’re not going to cum just yet,” Anselm pats the handprint he’s left on Blue’s skin, and Blue nods rapidly, eyes screwed tight as he tries to get a hold of himself. 

Anselm gazes down at you, leaning forward for a second to press a sweet kiss to your lips. “You okay, my love?” 

You nod and swallow, hardly able to form words with the onslaught of sensation. The tip of Blue’s cock is nudging at your sweet spot, practically vibrating with how he’s shaking. 

“We didn’t play with you beforehand,” he says sweetly in your ear, half in genuine concern, the other just an excuse to rile you up even more. 

“It’s good.” You breathe. “He’s…” you gasp as Blue wriggles ever so slightly. 

“He’s in exactly the right position,” Anselm nods as he speaks and sits up. “Good. Hear that Blue?” He smacks his ass one more time. The force sends a jolt through his limbs and both you and Blue moan headily at how you move together. 

Anselm smiles, “So, you heard her Blue.” 

He nods rapidly. 

“Perfect spot. So no moving.” He pushes Blue’s ass firmly down. “Not even a centimetre out, understand?” 

Blue nods again. 

Anselm flicks open the bottle of lube and coats his middle and forefinger liberally. “I’m going to move you.” 

Blue frowns for a moment in confusion, about to ask what he means. But his words are cut off by a gasp as Anselm presses his fingers against Blue’s entrance. He shivers, whines in surprise and for a second you worry. Your walls involuntarily clenching down on him. 

“Wait-” You start.

“Plleeaaasssee,” Blue begs, tears running down his cheeks. “Oh fuck, please, just, just get up there, get inside, get-” he moans so loudly it’s almost a scream as Anselm presses in deep, pushing past his tight ring of muscle and strokes deep. 

Blue shakes, trembling with sensation as Anselm’s fingers press and your cunt squeezes. Pleasure explodes behind his eyes, runs along his limbs as Anselm pushes, rocks him against you as if he were a puppet completely under Anselm’s control. 

You gasp, grabbing hold of his shoulders as he moves, rocking his hips against you at a mind-numbing pace that has you seeing stars. 

Blue shrieks as Anselm finds his prostate, his orgasm exploding along every nerve and tensing his muscles. He sobs as he comes, his hips moving of their own accord as he floats above his body in bliss. He pumps load after load of hot, thick cum into you, his body running on autopilot as he collapses on top of you. 

Anselm slowly removes his fingers and kisses his shoulders as you kiss his temple. You both hug him for a moment, whispering soothing words as he stays boneless before you both help him up and onto his back on the pillows. 

Anselm licks up the mess on his cock  before he takes hold of your hips and presses you back against the mattress. 

“Such a lovely mess.” He mutters, fisting his own cock for a second before he sinks into you and groans. “Ah, has made you so,” he growls, snapping his hips hard and fast, “needy,” you whine underneath him as he sits up, changing the angle so he can fuck into you rapidly. “So wet, and warm,” he snarls, sweat beading on his temples. 

He places his hand on your chest, between your breasts and keeps you pinned flat to the bed. 

You whine against him, your body hurtling you towards your orgasm as he takes and takes and takes. The way his hips move, the deep, precise thrusts he has memorised, ingrained into his very fibre of being to make you see stars. 

The slap, slap, slap of his thick cock against you, the way he pulls out almost completely before slamming back in breaks Blue from his daze. His cock twitches despite his mind-shattering orgasm a moment before. 

He groans watching, shuffles forward and kisses you sweetly, the action so soft and sweet it almost breaks you in two. 

“Here,” Anselm groans, strain in his voice well covered by his affection for you both. He gently but firmly guides Blue’s head away from you and presses him towards your centre. “Put your mouth to better use.” 

Your cry is sharp, almost alien to your own ears as Blue’s tongue darts out and flicks against your clit as Anselm thrusts against your g spot repeatedly. 

You squirm under both of them, both trying to get closer but also shy away from the pleasure. 

Blue latches onto your clit, moaning as he sucks, his eyes rolling back into his head. Anselm groans as you pulse around him, he keeps a steady hand on the back of Blue’s head and grabs your tight, hiking it high on his hip. Your breathing hitches and he knows you’re close. 

“Take me so well, my love,” he groans, bowing forward ever so slightly as you squeeze around him, your body sucking him deep and fighting to keep him inside. “Made for me, made for us.” 

Blue moans in agreement, looking at you with large, heavy-lidded eyes. 

“Cum on my cock, want to feel you come apart and scream.” 

You whine, so close you can taste it. 

“Want you to-” Anselm groans suddenly as Blue snakes his hand up his thigh, squeezes his ass before dipping lower and cupping his balls. He massages them in the warmth of his palm and Anselm’s vision goes white. 

You gasp as Blue mewls against you, lapping at your clit and gazing up at you, knowing exactly what he's doing. 

Anselm thrusts deeply, the knot in his stomach clenching, his balls tightening and you throw your head back as you come. Your orgasm robbing you of your strength. 

Anselm comes a second later, groaning as your walls squeeze and pulsate and pull him down with you. He bucks shallowly as he fills you to the brim and mixes with the mess Blue made. 

Blue keeps sucking your clit until you stop shaking and your muscles relax. He slowly removes his mouth from you, his hand from Anselm and moves to sit up. 

But you wrap an arm around his neck and pull him down neck to you kissing his cheeks and nose and lips until he’s giggling and snuggling into your side.

You use your other arm to pull Anselm down on top of you, kiss his temple, his scars, nuzzle into his beard and nip at his bottom lip. 

He sighs into your embrace, presses his face into your neck and breathes deeply while he hugs both of you tightly. 

____________________

Thank you for reading!

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[angel-of-the-moons]

V .......

Vampire! Anselm x Reader thots™ up in this bitch

Some NSFW shit under the cut, enjoy the random brainrot I just got

Big mansion with heavily tinted windows, private jets with black out curtains, yachts they ride to see meteor showers together.

They have those big extravagant parties, nobody thinks anything of it. All they're doing is picking through their "associates" to see who is the one they need the least and pull them to a dark corner and drink their fill..... Or they bring in somebody who siphoned funds into their own accounts from their estate.... Makes a spectacle of draining him dry as a warning--

V!Anselm totally gets a hard on when he sees you covered in blood I don't make the rules

Even if y'all have been together for centuries or one year, the man is still a horny little shithead for you, and being alive for so long has definitely allowed his kink list to be exponentially longer than most since being exposed to the Internet.

Sometimes during those public feedings of the stupid little fuck-ups who steal from him, Anselm will ravage the shit outta you in the middle of the party (unless you're not into it, that is, you are his Queen of The Night and he would never disrespect you and make you uncomfortable, the man would rip out his own fangs, first)

Really likes it when you decide to seduce™ him. Pour a glass of wine/blood down your body and he will be on his knees to lap it all up.

Would also un-ironically dress as Dracula for Halloween-themed parties/balls.

"What? It's thanks to Bram Stoker so many people now only believe us to be pure fiction, giving us leeway to exist in the public eye. Why not honor his character? What? Yes, yes, I know he was based on Vlad Țepeș, I was there--"

"Believe it or not, I think I have a cousin who is descended from the real count... I should invite them to one of our parties."

"Why am I not surprised?"

Would totally shoot glares at you if you make him to the "Bleh bleh bleh" thing from Hotel Transylvania, but would do it just to make you laugh. Your voice is like the most addicting thing he could ever have as an immortal.

Despite being an immortal vampire, he has those scars from an assassination attempt; exposing him to the sun and permanently damaging him.

If anything, surviving the sun only served to empower his image more. A powerful man who survived the dreaded sunlight; came out scarred and killed his would-be assassins himself.

V!Anselm will occasionally hold his arm under a beam of sunlight to intimidate those in his business meetings.

He'd feel bad about it later, however, but only in private with you once you expressed your concern as you let him feed from you to replenish his strength. You always do that when he goes "overboard" as you put it; the closeness and intimacy of letting him feed from you instead of a blood bag or some useless employee helped soothe and reassure you that he was all right.

And speaking of feeding from you... It almost always winds up with him inside of you or vice versa in some way... Feeding from one another is one of the most intimate acts a loving couple could do; drinking each other's essence just reaffirms the bonds between you.

And if you guys have a little brood? Oh, the man is unstoppable.

If any children you have are half-vampire because you haven't been turned yet? If they're unharmed by the sun? A testament to the Vogelweide name; his lineage will live on no matter what.

However, if you're still human, Anselm will insist on turning you. Especially when he discovered that someone tried to wound him by attempting to slip something like poison into one of your meals. (Vampires have better senses, Anselm could smell the tainted food even if you couldn't. You never did find out exactly what happened to that guy...)

[oddballwriter]

I am once again thinking about Anselm being horny for a vampire partner. Like he waits every night for you to just creep in and bite him while he “sleeps”. To that point that he will refuse to sleep because he wants to be awake when you actually do bite him, and you have to tell him to stop because he’s not getting enough sleep.

But he’s waiting. Oh man, is he waiting.

However, Anselm finds that he likes the element of surprise. He goes to sleep by himself but then he wakes up in the morning a bit lightheaded and there’s some blood around his neck with a vivid memory of you standing over his bed.

He’s seen the horrors and he likes what he sees. <3

[redeyerhaenyra]

Oh, it isn't so bad

Summary: After weeks of not touching you, Anselm finally breaks

Warnings: Smutttt, exhibitiontionism? Fingering, p in v sex, titty play and cock warming if you squint, no beta we die

Notes: For @winniethewife! So sorry for the wait, also I think this came out terrible 😓

Wc: 665

It wasn't fair.

At all! You could barely even remember what had led to your disagreement- but whatever it was, it didn't warrant this.

For three weeks now, Anselm hadn't touched you. He'd watched you though. It became ritual, every night before you go to bed he'd have you sit on the bed, spread eagle, and finger fuck yourself until you came. 

But then that was it. He'd tell you good job, kiss you goodnight, and then you would both curl up into bed together and go to sleep. It was maddening.

No matter how you begged and pleaded, he would not give in.

But tonight.. seemed different.

Tonight.. you may finally break him.

He'd already had a stressful day- having had to shoot 5 whole underlings for their incompetence, Anselm wished for nothing more than to fuck his anger away, but he was trying to punish you. For what? God even he didn't remember, and now, looking at you, wet and dripping and begging him for assistance, his cold heart ached. Poor thing, you'd done so well these past three weeks, he was truly so proud.

Anselm had made it his mission to understand your body so well so as to know exactly where along the line you were to orgasm. As, pathetically, you grew closer and closer to cumming without him, he finally broke.

“Scheiß drauf- stop.”

You raised your head, confused, only to moan as you realised he was approaching you to finally relinquish your punishment. He knelt one knee on the bed, as he leant over to undo and discard his leg brace.

You were practically shaking in anticipation, eye flitting between his gorgeous brown eyes and where his hand was undoing his belt.

He stroked your hair with his free hand, looking down adoringly at you, “Oh, yes, little one, excited are we? Yes, you've done so well, I am very impressed.”

Unconsciously, your hips bucked up, desperate for him to finally fill you. He giggled at your wanton display- “Alright alright, give me a chance, impatient thing.”

He mocked you, but he was just as needy as you. Briefly, he considered just rubbing himself off on your pussy, not in it, so as the further relish in your frustration. He knew you'd find a way to get him inside you, though. It was one of the reasons he adored you so, the way you always found the opportunity to have his dick inside you.

When, finally, Anselm pushed in- both his hands were desperately fidgeting nervously for the several places he wanted to put them. In the end, he decided on one hand holding your thigh, the other flitting between guiding his cock inside you, and rubbing at your clit. You gasped, the warm hazey feeling so familiar to you, yet so foreign after so many weeks without this, brought tears to your eyes.

Anselm was quick to kiss them away, building a deep, steady rhythm with his thrusts. 

“Oh, meine liebe, is emotional for you, yes? Ohhhhh, that's alright, yes, it's okay.”

Half of you wished he'd just hurry up and cum already, so you could feel it warming your insides, but Anslem wanted to draw this out. He had leaned over at this point, drawing your breast into his mouth, rolling your nipple between his teeth. 

Finally, you were over the edge, panting and whining as the one orgasm you'd been craving for weeks finally washed over you- the one where you came with him inside you. Anselm moaned into your breast at the feeling of your cunt pulsing around him. 

You fell backward into the bed, drooling into the pillow as Anselm picked up his pace, soon filling you with his cum, even still thrusting occasionally as his own euphoria died down.

Both of you sat like that for a while, Anselm's cock still buried inside you, Anselm himself tucked neatly between your tits. 

“Anselm?” “Hm?” “...Aren't you going to pull out?” He chuckled, proving his opposite point but thrusting his softening cock once more- you gasped at the feeling.

“Meine liebe,” he cooed, whispering into your skin;

“I am never pulling out of you again.”

[ominoose]

Big Gold Brick and Ticky Tacky have the same director, Brian Petsos.

Both Anselm and Lucian are both rich and eccentric.

Both have a cousin named Nick, played by the same actor, Tim Rock.

Lucien in Ticky Tacky started a fire, Anselm has burn scars.

Both Lucian and Anselm have a random younger boy that performs for them.

I don't think the Anselm is older Lucian theory is even a theory at this point, I think it's just canon.

[midgardian-witch]

Ok I forgot who said that Lucien from Ticky Tacky is the perfect backstory for Anselm from Big Gold Brick and even though I haven't watched the latter yet I did just finish watching Ticky Tacky and well

That man is so weird and wild with his decisions and mannerisms that yes I absolutely see it and accept this as canon.