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#Bronx Museum
callme-tiff · 2 months
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trascapades · 10 months
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🎨🙅🏿‍♀️#ArtIsAWeapon #NewExhibit
One of my favorite artists, Bronx-native @iamdiannesmithart, pays homage to #HipHop and its birthplace The Boogie Down with her new exhibit
DIANNE SMITH: TWO TURNTABLES & A MICROPHONE, on view July 7 - August 20, 2023 at The Bronx Museum of the Arts
📍1040 Grand Concourse, Bronx, NY 10456
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VIA bronxmuseum.org: "One two, one two…Party people in the place to be…Let me hear you say, hey, ho…
When you hear these lyrics at a hip-hop party you know it’s about to be a good time filled with music, dancing, joy, and community. Dianne Smith’s exhibition Two Turntables & a Microphone celebrates Black joy and expressions of identity that hip-hop has fostered through its community-building power. Hip-hop parties during the 1970s, created with virtually nothing more than two turntables and a microphone, have played a large role in the lives of Bronx youth, especially in the early days of hip-hop. Through these gatherings Bronx-native Smith, like many others, found a space filled with creativity, freedom, hope, and love. With this year marking the 50th anniversary of hip-hop, Smith celebrates this milestone by paying homage to hip-hop’s Bronx roots and its role in empowering communities across the world through a large-scale and site-specific interdisciplinary installation.
Smith mines memories of her personal experiences in hip-hop culture from hanging out and partying with the Kango Crew to documenting the graffiti adorned building of the Kunsthaus Tacheles in Berlin, Germany to her Fulbright in Guayaquil, Ecuador. These cherished memories are then fused with visual and auditory elements from an array of sources that form a universal narrative of how hip-hop has created a positive environment for its global audience.
This project invites visitors to offer their experiences—in the form of art, text, and personal keepsakes which becomes part of the exhibition—as we reflect upon the communal and creative elements of hip-hop and #theBronx.
Curated by #Souleo @souleouniverse"
Image: Dianne Smith, Two Turntables and a Microphone, 2023. Digital collage with archival photo by @HenryChalfant.
#DianneSmith #ForTheCulture #BlackGirlArtGeeks
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dellinah · 2 years
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I worked at the Bronx Zoo in 1995 and there was an old man volunteering there who in the 1920s saw their live thylacine. Sad conversation with him b/c he'd always known it was a special opportunity to see it, but he couldn't describe it as anything special - what he was saying was what you would say if asked to describe the video clips. The pure experience of it cannot be transmitted. I have loved thylacines my whole life and feel cheated. We were all cheated.
Woah! Lucky you :D There are probably not that many (if any) people alive today who saw a thylacine as kids and were old enough then to remember it still, since the last one died in 1936. Pretty cool that you met someone who did and got the chance to talk to him about it! Even if he didn't find it that special, I'd say that that puts you closer to tassies than most of us will ever be in a way :P Not many people can say they saw an extinct animal alive, so I think that alone is pretty cool too. I'd have asked him to describe so many details he'd probs be annoyed, lol. I can see why some people would think they aren't special, but I do. Yes, a lot of the wonder and mistique around them comes from the fact that they are extinct, but I think they're special on their own.
Possums that looked like wolves. What's not to love?
I love that you sent this ask, actually. It warmed my thylacine-loving heart in a way :'3 have some other pictures I took in the museum as a thank you (the lighting there is terrible for pics, but hopefully you enjoy it still)
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But honestly, I get you. There are things that can't be said with words, and I think experiences are one of those things. Even with the most eloquent of descriptions, I think you can never fully understand what someone else went through or felt at a certain situation. I know that if I got to see a living thylacine, I'd never be able to convey what it meant to me. Even if most people found it dumb/didn't get why it was special to me. Heck, people at the museum were probably confused as to why I was crying at a mounted animal oop
It's sad, but in a way, thylacines disappeared twice. Once when the last one passed away, and again when the last people who saw them alive passed away too. First they were gone, and lived on only as memories. Now that the memories are gone as well since those people are (most likely) gone too, we only have the ghosts - the pictures, the drawings, the videos, which shape the ideas we get of them. Like you said, you, and I, and anyone else who wishes to see them, were robbed.
All we have of the thylacine is old. A video I've seen a million times, pictures that will never move or make a sound. We were robbed of so much when it comes to them. We were robbed of their sound, of their colors, their behavior. We have nothing now. We'll never know what they sounded like, or watch them hunt, or learn more about them. Really, all we have is ghosts and other people's memories as we look at the pictures other people took.
And that will have to do.
Little story for yall: when I was at the museum, there was a little girl with her dad there too. She'd jump from one animal to another, asking him to tell her where each animal lived (as the exibitions were labeled by place of origin of the animals). They got to the tassie the same time that I did, and when she asked "where does this one live?" he read the sign and replied "It doesn't live anymore. It doesn't have a home anywhere. They're gone."
And then they walked away, and I didn't see them anymore. But man, that hit hard. I keep hearing that in my head, over and over again.
It doesn't live anymore.
It doesn't have a home anywhere.
They're gone.
That dad and little girl probably didn't think anything of it. But I'll never forget that. How thylacines once lived, once had a home.
And now, there's none.
Been thinking of incorporating those sentences into a drawing of them or smth. I know it's very r/im14andthisisdeep but let me weird about them ok they make me sad
But yeah, that's my thylacine rant for the night. Because there aren't enough of those in my blog :P Thanks again for this, as it allowed me to ramble oops. Hope you doing well!
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nickysfacts · 2 months
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All hail the King of Skull island!
🏝️🦍
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cr8zygoodshot · 2 years
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AU where Ahk never went to Cambridge and was shipped to NY instead. Ahk having the thickest city accent. Where’d he get it from? Some guy named Tony who picked up working as a janitor to pay the bills. He sounds exactly like the type of person who’d say “I’m walking here.”
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shanellpho · 1 year
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Went to the Brooklyn Museum to see the Thierry Mugler exhibition @thebrooklynmuseum and I can say his art expresses in every from of art. I love the theoretical and dramatic play he includes in his designs. I hope everyone gets to experience it.
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marywoodartdept · 11 months
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Michener Art Museum
Grace, our spotlight blogger, shines her spotlight on the Michener Art Museum in Doylestown PA and their current exhibition featuring Bronx native Alan Goldstein and his magnificent show, Elemental. #MarywoodArt #PAArts
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welcome2thebronx · 1 year
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The Bronx's first children's museum will finally open next month
The wait is over! The #Bronx finally has its own children's museum and it is BEAUTIFUL!
What started out as a mission 17 years ago to create the borough’s first children’s museum is finally a dream come true that will positively impact the almost 200,000 children that call The Bronx home. Yesterday, the borough came out to celebrate the ribbon cutting ceremony for The Bronx’s Children’s Museum’s official brick and mortar home at the landmark Powerhouse building inside Mill Pond…
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hamletthedane · 3 months
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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.
What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.
What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.
What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.
The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.
And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.
But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.
I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.
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million-piecesss · 11 days
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callme-tiff · 4 months
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fishmech · 2 months
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'Flowers Will Die: A live performance by Artist Santina Amato' 3:30–6PM On the 2nd Floor
She describes the 'Flowers Will Die: A live performance by Artist Santina Amato' activation of her work in 'The Biennial' as follows:
"'Flowers Will Die' is a performance using bread dough, a signature material in Amato’s work. Within the live setting, dough creates a visceral experience where the comforting smell of bread dough consumes the audience’s sense of smell.
"'Flowers Will Die' sees Amato and six other women labour in the creation of 2-300 lbs of dough. Once the flour, water, and yeast has been labored over to form the dough, each woman carries as much of this ephemeral material from its place of creation to its place of activation and eventual death.
"A circle of women sitting in waiting will receive the dough. Once all the dough is deposited within the embrace of the women, the audience watches as the dough activates the sculpture they have created with their bodies, rising and consuming their limbs and bodies over a slow period of an hour and a half.
"The audience is encouraged to meander the museum while the activation is in process, returning to the room to see the sculpture’s slow morph.
"Amato’s work with bread dough stems from a cultural history of women’s labour within the domestic environment that was passed down through the women before her. Raised in Australia by immigrant poor rural workers from the south of Italy who themselves were raised during the depression era and fascist Italy, Amato was raised to see labour as way to fully experience the human condition. Being raised in a multicultural society, it was only when Amato entered adulthood, specifically womanhood, that the realization that the labour women are asked to carry is more than just physical. Her live performances play out the physical and psychological labour women are still expected to carry."
part of the Closing Event: 6th AIM Biennial Featuring AIM Fellow Activations • Saturday, March 30, 2024 • 1–6PM
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ajl1963 · 7 months
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Deco Doings - November, 2023
Autumn by William Welsh, 1930. Image from Pinterest. Here is a list of some wonderful Art Deco Events happening this November to enjoy. Metropolitan Museum of Art Art for the Millions: American Culture and Politics in the 1930s (In Person Event)      Thursday, September 7 – Sunday, December 10, 2023, Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1000 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY   Poster House Art Deco:…
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deewellsosd · 1 year
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KRS-ONE @iamkrsone let it be known that the Hip Hop pioneers need to be compensated for their contributions and stories to the @uhhmuseum.
The Hip shop Museum received $5 million in federal grant funds.
KRS-One has been saying for more than 3 decades, “Rap is something we do. Hip Hop is something that we live.”
🫡to @sunone70 for the video.
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supertrainstationh · 1 year
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Bronx Bombers Express by amtraknortheast1 Via Flickr: After a 30 minute nonstop trip from 42nd St-Grand Central, the 6 R33MLs and R36WFs that ran the 2022 Yankees Opener Express sit temporarily layed up as a Crown Heights-Utica Avenue bound 4 train using an R142 set stops at 161 St-Yankee Stadium. At the head of the layed up consist are R36WFs 9586 and 9587. This pair of cars, built for Flushing Line service to the 1964 World’s Fair, wear the iconic “Redbird” paint scheme. From the mid 80s to their early 2000’s retirement, the graffiti-resistant red and black scheme became iconic to users of the New York City Subway System. 161 St-Yankee Stadium The Bronx New York 8 April 2022
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astroboots · 10 months
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EVERY YOU EVERY ME #9
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COLLABORATED WITH @THIRSTWORLDPROBLEMSS
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader
Summary: You get a new mysterious co-worker.
Word count: 8,100
Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | thirstworldproblemss’ Masterlist
[Previous] [Next]
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August 1st
Nearly pancaked by grand piano falling from the 8th floor outside of favorite cafe. No casualties (except the piano).
August 5th
Freak blizzard out of nowhere during lunch. Nearly crushed by large icicle dropping directly outside the exit of the Chrysler building. No other known casualty.
August 6th
An escaped hippopotamus from the Bronx zoo ran 11.3 miles, nearly got stampeded when exiting hotel for work. No casualties.
August 12th
Tornado appeared inside the Guggenheim museum, nearly squashed by large falling statue. Nobody nearby was seriously injured.
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It's already mid-August now. You've used up more than a month of your allotted three. It means you don't have much more time to waste, but that knowledge does nothing to help you in figuring things out. 
You’ve compiled a comprehensive list of the Universe's ongoing murder attempts, determined to keep track of them all. All in all, there are 37 incidents and counting that you’re aware of… and they’re all different. 
They differ in severity. They differ in scale and they differ in frequency. Sometimes it can take weeks, sometimes days, sometimes within hours of each other. If there’s any sort of pattern to them—anything that might help you predict what will happen next or how to stop it—you can’t see it.  There’s nothing that gives you any hint or clue as to where you can start to make progress with solving this mystery.
The one thing you have been able to observe from cataloging these incidents is that Miguel was right about what he told you that day at Starbucks: the universe is ramping up. Each attempt is becoming more and more bizarre, defying the very laws of physics and nature in its attempts to snuff you out. Before this, in all of your years in New York, you’ve never heard of a blizzard in July or a tornado indoors. 
With the escalating dangers, Miguel is more on guard than ever. Sticking close to you at all times like a particularly insistent herding dog that’s always a few inches from nipping at your heels. Even when he’s seemingly preoccupied by something else—reading a book, folding clothes, eating a crate of kit kats in one sitting—you can always tell that he’s keenly aware of and attuned to your every minute move. 
Practically, the only time he lets you out of his sight is for bathroom visits. 
Work is still a point of contention between you two. He hates that he can't enter the building to monitor you at work and make sure you're safe, and after that incident when you caught a co-worker trying to take a surreptitious selfie with Spiderman while Miguel was loitering around in the windows, you’d banned him from climbing and scuttering around the exterior of the building like some deranged squirrel. 
It’s made him even less pleased about your whole work situation, something he’s not shy about sharing with you. Every morning when you are about to leave for work, Miguel will stand by the door with that ever present frown and ask you: 
“Why are you still going into a job you hate when there’s only two months left?”
This morning, you sigh as you reach for your jacket and messenger bag. 
Part of you completely understands and even agrees with his logic. If the end of the world is only two months away, why go back to that shithole everyday? You could go to Disneyland. Eat fancy croissants in Paris for breakfast. Have Lyla fake a reservation at an all-inclusive yoga retreat in Bali. You could be living your life like every moment is your last. 
The thing is though, as delusional as it may be, you’re not ready to bet on the world ending just yet. 
“Miguel, I fully intend for the universe to still be around in two months. And I don’t want to be unemployed when that day comes. I’m not some trust fund baby. Once we figure this thing out, you’re gonna be free to go, and if you take Lyla with you, then what am I supposed to do? Live on the streets? Rent in the city is ridiculous, and my rent-controlled apartment got blown into a million pieces.”
For once Miguel doesn’t seem to have anything smart to say back. He tilts his head, quietly studying your face. Then after a long pause, he gives you a curt nod, as if something clicked into place. 
"Fine."
You stop mid-way through zipping up one of your boots to eye him suspiciously. 
Okay, that’s… different.
In all the mornings you’ve repeated this argument, this is the first time he’s simply accepted your explanation without sassing you back. He just gazes right back, apparently unperturbed, and holds the door of your hotel room open for you, ready to walk you to work. 
There is definitely something going on inside his head, because this stubborn dummy never lets anything go without a fight. You just don’t know what it is yet. 
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By mid-morning, you've forgotten all about your suspicions, too busy dealing with the aftermath of your coworker's incompetence. You're not entirely sure how they managed to corrupt the Excel formula you’d painstakingly inserted to make sure all the numbers add up correctly, but two hours later, you're still trying to get the data to compute properly. 
It’s the kind of mind numbing task that lets your mind wander, and you spend most of that morning wondering what Miguel is up to. He’s probably lingering near the building, eating mini donuts by the dozens from that food truck that is always parked around the corner. 
There’s a pointed series of knocks on your cubicle wall. The noise is grating, and it makes the whole of your back seize up because you recognize that signature knock from sound alone. It’s your boss, probably here to ask if you have capacity to take on more case evaluations. 
And sure enough, as you reluctantly turn to look, you see her, toothy smile and all, looking down at you in that hammy and strained way of hers. 
“Are you busy?” she asks. “I just wanted to introduce you to the newest member of the team.” 
She gestures to the person standing beside her. Your gaze goes up over their insanely long legs, up and over the narrow and tapered waist and torso, up over the wide chest and broad, broad shoulders, and even before you get to the familiar face, you already know who you are looking at, because no one else is that tall.
Your mouth gapes open wide in shock.
This stupid motherf-
“This is Mickey O’Hara,” your boss introduces, simpering up at him. (You didn’t even know she knew how to simper.) 
Has Miguel gone insane?
What is he playing at?!
He didn’t even bother to change his name properly!
And the man looks unfairly good in office casual! He’s dressed in a white, well-fitted button down shirt and dress pants. Wearing ridiculous thick-rimmed glasses that would belong on Gregory Peck. Riotous curls are as messy and wild as ever, not having even bothered to comb it back. You don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling, the subdued get-up only makes him stick out like a sore thumb.
“Mickey is our newest hire,” your boss continues, batting her eyes at him. “He's interning with our team as a junior insurance claims adjuster and will be shadowing you for the next two months.”
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After that, Miguel truly is with you everywhere you go. 
He spends most of each workday sitting on a spare chair in your small cubicle, the two of you squeezed into 6'x6', shoulder touching shoulder in that tiny, cramped space.
A superhero he may be, but Miguel is a terrible office worker. He seems completely bamboozled by the copier, and you quickly learn not to ask him to do any copying or scanning or even pick your printouts from the printer, because he always manages to mangle the process, coming back with crumpled up prints or half-shredded paper that looks like budget confetti.
Before the week is over, he’s gained a reputation with the rest of the team as the handsome-but-useless junior that can’t even make coffee for shit.
Most of the time, he doesn't even make an effort to look like he’s doing any actual work, just sits right next to you, and reads books all day long. When you scold him and ask him to at least pretend like he's doing busy work, or he'll get fired, Miguel will just shrug and quietly hum back at you, engrossed in whatever latest sci-fi book his nose is buried in. 
"If they fire me, I'll just have Lyla hack into their HR system and rehire me."
Then there’s the way his sleeves are always rolled up halfway up his arm, hugging tight around the firm muscles of his forearm. The peep show of gorgeously tanned skin that is always on display for all to see. It's obscene. 
He’s maddening and distracting. 
Still, you can’t be too mad about his presence. The office is a much more treacherous place than you’d initially thought. It’s a danger zone of death traps. 
One morning when you’re in the supply room, getting a new pad of post-its from one of the massive industrial shelves—the ones that are supposed to be bolted to the wall for safety—suddenly crumpled, taking half the wall with it and nearly flattening you. That was almost game over for you. Squashed like a bug and entombed under a pile of archived TPS reports. 
Then there’s that time with the runaway elevator when the supposedly secure and unbreakable industrial cables snaps, with you in it, falling through 40 floors. And you still shudder everytime you walk past the copy machine because of that time it tried to electrocute you. If Miguel hadn’t been there for all of these incidents, you’d be a goner. 
Another upside is that it’s also nice to have a cubicle buddy. On slow days, the two of you kill time watching YouTube origami tutorials and practicing with post-its stolen from the temporarily-relocated office supplies. 
Despite having hands the size of a giant, Miguel is surprisingly good at it. Delicately folding paper cranes, butterflies and flowers that sit in the place of pride atop of your computer screen, compared to your questionable attempts that usually wind up in a crumpled ball in the trash. 
With Miguel there, your days at the office are never boring or predictable in the way they used to be. It no longer feels like you are just going through motions. It's almost… fun. 
If there wasn’t a cosmic executioner’s ax looming over your neck, you don’t think you would mind spending every day with him like this.
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You take it back. You do mind spending days with him like this. Miguel is the worst. 
You've been doing data entry all morning, and the man will not shut up about how primitive Excel is. 
“Malo! I don’t understand how your company relies on this software. There are so many data consistency issues! It completely lacks data validation and integrity checks, and it’s too prone to human error when entering crucial data, which results in–” 
You take deep calming breaths as you continue to type, trying to pretend his rant is white noise.  
The previous day's near death experience—an electrical surge from the printer, trying to finish what the copy machine started—also wiped out one of the file servers, and now you and half your department are stuck manually re-entering three years worth of data.  
Two hours in, your fingers are aching, and you're about ready to start banging your head on the keyboard out of frustration. (Or banging the keyboard on Miguel’s head if he doesn’t shut up.)
Like he can hear your thoughts, the man in question obligingly stops talking, and there’s a moment of blessed silence before your chair glides smoothly and suddenly to the left as Miguel rolls you out from in front of your computer. Your first instinct is to wonder what new danger he’s saving you from, but no… He’s just moving you out of the way to make space for him to drag his own chair in front of the screen. “Enough,” he says firmly, already typing out some unintelligibly complex code at a speed that far outstrips your own personal best of 67 words per minute, “I can’t watch you keep doing this when it’s so simple to automate.”
You sometimes forget just how smart Miguel is. 
True, he can’t seem to work the office printer, but he’s a genius scientist who single-handedly built an A.I. sophisticated enough to hack into financial institutions and topple governments. He successfully invented a machine that travels between dimensions. Every other sentence coming out of his mouth sounds like something that would confound Stephen Hawking. You don’t know why you’re surprised he’s able to automate Excel spreadsheets. 
It doesn’t take him very long at all. 
Within minutes, he’s finished, hitting enter one final time, and then you can see all of the cells rectify themselves one by one. Errors disappear and new corrected information appears, data populating blank cells and aligning itself in tidy rows. 
You lean in closer to get a better look. Your elbow snags the edge of your coffee cup and the cup topples over, splashing runaway hot coffee across your hand.
Before you have a chance to react, there’s a strong pull backwards. Miguel is already grabbing you and pulling you sideways into his lap and out of the firing range.
The cup clatters off the edge of the desk and onto the floor. The rest of the burning liquid never had the time to land on you. 
Then you’re sitting on top of him, confined in the much too small seat of the office chair that can barely fit him and his broad backside, and much less the both of you. But if it’s uncomfortable, Miguel doesn’t show it. He takes your hand in his to inspect it carefully.
The patch of skin burns and stings, but you can’t tell if it’s from the coffee or his burning touch that makes you feel like there’s liquid fire simmering in your veins. 
“You okay?” he says, his voice right in your ear.
He is so close. Surrounding you. Broad arms locked around your waist and the firm muscles of his thick thighs under yours.
“Yeah,” you manage, nodding slowly. Your tongue feels heavy and dry in your mouth.
He quietly drags your hand closer to his face, then blows on the back of your burnt knuckles to soothe the sting. 
“Better?” 
Those stunning eyes are staring into yours from inches away, cut cheeks right there, nose barely brushing against yours, and – god, is he close. Too close. 
Miguel is always in close proximity to you these days. Never more than a couple yards away, but save for life or death situations, the two of you do not find yourself like this. He only ever holds you when you’re crashing through the skies or about to collide with a runaway vehicle. This is different somehow. 
Your heart feels like a trapped bird in your chest, fluttering so fast and panicky it might burst from inside out at the proximity. 
“I– um– ah…” You’re not saying any words, just making strange noises in your throat like a squawking bird. 
Your eyes flicker away from his face avoidantly and from the corner of your eye, you spot Matt from accounting spying on you from the cubicle across. 
Oh god. This probably doesn’t look great, does it?
You’re sitting on a co-worker’s lap in the middle of an open plan office. Compromising does not even begin to describe the position you two are in.
Jumping off his lap, you quickly stand up and turn away, trying to ignore the flustered heat in your cheeks. 
You walk back over to your chair, about to sit yourself back down, but there’s spilled coffee everywhere. The dark brown liquid quickly sinking into the already stained fabric of the seat.  You need to clean this up or else your chair is going to smell like expired coffee for the rest of time. Grabbing for your bag, you start digging for some tissues so you don't have to walk up to the supply closet.
You pull out item after item. Tampons. Sunglasses. A half-eaten chocolate bar. More tampons. New wallet with new ID, (expedited, all courtesy of Lyla). A handful of pennies. A random pamphlet. Still no tissues though, so you upend your bag onto your desk, wincing at the clatter. 
How on Earth have you accumulated this much stuff in the few short weeks since your apartment was destroyed?  And how on Earth do you not have any kleenex or napkins or anything in your handbag?? 
You paw through the mess, hoping for something useful, then swear as some of it spills over onto the floor. Ducking down, you crawl half under your desk, collecting wayward tampons and receipts, until your eyes pause on the pamphlet.
Not just any pamphlet. It’s yellow and bright with Whoopie Goldberg's face in the corner. It's the map you received from the fortune teller lady. One of your many misfires.
Now that you look closely at it, there are faint lines that seem to glow faintly in the dimness under your desk that weren't there when you were looking at it in plain daylight.
You pick it up and unfold it, laying it out on the floor. It looks like it’s been written on with some kind of a glow-in-the-dark marker, but it’s not dark enough for you to see clearly. You need to get somewhere darker to test your theory.
Backing out from under your desk, you get to your feet and head briskly off down the hall. You barely make it three steps before Miguel’s on your tail, his towering height blocking out the bright LED lamps above as he follows after you like the world’s biggest duckling. 
“Cielo, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” you murmur curtly under your breath. The heat from before is still riding persistently on your face, and you quicken your steps, hoping it doesn’t show. 
You half run to the end of the hall until you reach the small supply closet. When you open the door to step inside, Miguel is right behind you, apparently trying to squeeze himself in after you. 
"We won't both fit in here!" you scold as you close the door after you.  His unhappy expression is the last thing you see as darkness envelops you in the pitch black.
There’s a niggling feeling of guilt that wiggles down into your skin. But you remind yourself that you can always steal cupcakes meant for clients from the conference room to make it up to him. All will be forgiven if you appease his sweet tooth. 
Ducking your head to stare down at the map clutched in your hands, you squint your eyes in the dark to study it closely. There's a small star glowing bright in the middle of the map.
It's a literal star map.
She gave you a location.
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You're standing in front of an old stone building at 177A Bleecker Street, smack in the middle of Greenwich village with its picturesque ivy covered old brownstone houses. 
Then there's this monstrosity: Sanctum Sanctorum. The infamous residence of Dr. Strange.
The mansion is built in a mix of a Victorian and Gothic style as if the architect couldn't make up their mind and just decided 'why not both?' Throughout the rooftop, there are ornate carvings and intricate stonework that you suspect was meant to lend it a mysterious air, but instead the place reminds you of Disney’s Haunted Mansion ride attraction. 
You bring up your hand to the old knocker, gripping it firmly. Your lungs tighten, breath constricting in your chest as you hesitate, unable to bring yourself to pull the brass down to make contact with the wooden front door. Instead you’re holding it still in the air. 
Maybe this isn’t a good idea after all. How are you going to explain this? 
‘The universe is out to get me, please send Avengers to help.’
Isn’t he just going to think you’re nuts? One of those delusional Supes-fan with munchausen syndrome?
"We can still leave," Miguel says. 
The man's been protesting every step of the way here, buzzing in your head about how much of a bad idea this is.
You frown, turning around to him. "I want to do this,” you answer. 
His continued opposition is the final push you need. You bring down the knocker against the front door and tap it repeatedly. 
There's no answer.
Part of you has to fight the urge to turn your feet and flee, saving yourself the embarrassment. But before you do, there’s a loud creak and a heavy scraping noise against the entrance as the double door swings inwards and slowly opens. 
No one greets you by the door. The entryway before you is empty, revealing a grand imperial staircase leading to the second floor, curving upward into a majestic spiral on each side of the room. 
It looks deserted. It’d be impolite to just step inside without someone to greet you and explicitly invite you in. But the doors did open to let you in. 
You look at Miguel, unsure of what to do, but the man does not have the same compunction for politeness that you do, he’s already walked in, shoes and all, straight into the main hall. 
“Can we just get this over with without you making your usual stupid grand dramatic entrance?” Miguel says into the empty room seemingly to no one in particular and you don’t know who he thinks he’s talking to. 
A ring of ember and fire sparks into existence out of nothingness in the center of the room. The ring grows wider, and you can see hints of another room inside of the circle: one decorated in a different decoration style than the current room you’re in: moroccan seats and plush cushions with oriental wooden carved furniture. 
A man steps out from within that room to stand in front of you both. The ring of light closes behind him once he’s made it through. Clad in a rich purple tunic and dark robes that is monk-like in appearance. Miguel steps in front of you, tucking you safely behind him. 
"You're not Strange," Miguel sneers, and you want to smack him. Why does he always have to be this rude?
"Oh, I'm quite strange. But I am not the Doctor. I am Wong. I’m the Sorcerer Supreme and guardian of this place." The man’s voice is calm and formal, and he holds himself with a stately manner as he speaks. 
You pop out your head from behind Miguel’s side. "We’re here to see Doctor Strange." 
At the repeated mention of Strange, the man’s formality seems to fall away, an expression of irritation bleeding into his features. 
"Let me know when you find him. Because he is not here."
"Where is he?" Miguel asks, and there’s that contempt rumbling in his voice again. 
"I do not know. Probably playing hooky again. The man comes and goes as he likes." Wong makes a muttering noise under his breath as he continues. "Treats this sacred place like a summer gig at McDonalds."
Your chest deflates. How are you supposed to get Dr. Strange to help you if he’s not even here?
"I need help,” you plead with Mr. Wong. Maybe he can help you if Dr Strange can’t, he is the Sorcerer Supreme after all, supreme is the highest level, right? This might even be an upgrade from Strange. “I know this sounds crazy, but I think the universe is out to get me." 
Wong just looks at you, expression unchanging, and okay, yeah, that was maybe not the best place to start. You take a deep breath, trying to figure out how to make yourself sound less paranoid.
"I've almost died 40 times since the beginning of the summer. I just want to know why this keeps happening and how to make it stop."
You dig into your bag, pulling out the folded map. 
"We talked to a fortune teller in Chinatown, and she gave me this map. It led us here, and I'm really, really hoping you can help me."
Wong dips his head down to the map, "This is a celebrity home star map," he says, with a straight face and a neutral voice that only slightly betrays that he thinks you're batshit crazy.
“I know it sounds crazy, but-”
“Sanctum Sanctorum opened its doors for you, which means it wanted me to meet with you. I believe what you’re telling me.”
Oh thank god.
You tell him everything, rambling on as you try to explain what’s been happening and what little you know about it as best you can. The near death experiences, Miguel being a Spiderman from another dimension, the destruction of your apartment,  the unnatural phenomena and the universe’s escalating attempts on your life. 
Wong is quiet throughout, studying your face with grave concentration as you speak. 
When you’re finally done, he sighs with deep weariness that emanates from the core of his soul. He looks down on his feet, tapping them in deep consideration.
"I have an idea,” Wong says cautiously, “I could perform a Multiversal Divination on you, that might give us a clearer idea of what we’re dealing with,” 
“What does that mean?” Miguel asks, anger vibrating off his skin and boiling in his tone.  
This man needs to calm down. You clearly need to take him to anger management, because since the moment he’s stepped into this place he’s been on the edge (even more so than usual).
“What does a ‘Multiversal Divination’ entail?” he continues, “Is that some magical mumbo jumbo that’s going to hurt her? Because if so we’re not–”
“I’ll do it,” you say, interrupting his objections, and you sidestep Miguel who is scowling, mouth already parted in yet another protest, to stand in front of Wong. 
Wong looks to you and then Miguel, then back at you again, caught in the awkward stalemate, before you interrupt. 
“Please, I need answers. Whatever it is, if it might help, I want to do it.”
Wong nods, stepping closer to you. "This will feel a little bit strange," he warns with the bedside manner of a patient doctor.
His hand comes to your collarbone and he places his palm there with a gentle push. There is barely any effort put into it, but you feel the force of it as if you had been slammed with the full force of a six ton truck. Your body wants to leap out of its skin. It is the sensation of being dumped in cold water from head to toe. A shock runs through your entire nervous system.
Images flash before your eyes, flickering by too fast for you to process. They’re vivid and bright. Glimpses of a scene: your apartment, your work, your commute home. Each of them expiring in a fraction of a moment before you have a chance to latch on and make sense of any of them individually.
You see yourself in picture after picture. Except slightly different in each. Short hair. Long locks. Curly.
In some you're wearing glasses instead of the contact lenses that you usually use. In others, you’re sporting the piercing you wanted to get at 16 but never did. Sometimes you have tattoos, sometimes not; occasionally you’re covered in them. Dyed hair, in every color of the spectrum: pink, blue, purple. A myriad of versions of you, of every variation of the decisions you could have possibly taken in your life. 
There are pictures of memories you have had and not had. They rush in and flee before you're able to grab hold of one.
Captured moments of lifetimes you have never lived.
It's overwhelming. You don't understand what you're seeing. There’s pandemonium inside your head.
Then everything slows to a crawl.
The scene unfolding before you is one that you immediately recognize. An image that you'll never forget.
Window after window after window flashing you by. You know this view. Have seen it twice before. The same view of the Chrysler building as you were falling. But it's different this time. 
The sky isn’t blue, nor is it gray. It’s a pink and an abnormal purple, a color you’ve never seen on it before and it looks both beautiful and completely wrong. There’s an angry tear in the sky, cracking at the edges with static. The whole of the sky looks like it is going to cleave in two and bring the whole world with it. Is this the future? Is it the past?
There's no pain, but somehow tears run down your cheeks uncontrollably.
In the distance you hear Miguel's voice, muted even though you know from that tone that he's furious and must be bellowing loud enough that it echoes through the walls. It sounds like you are underwater, and you have to strain to make out what he is saying.
"Why is she crying?" He's definitely shouting, voice raw and growling. Is this part of your memory or is it happening in the now? "You're hurting her."
The ground approaches. 
"Stop! Stop!" Miguel's voice is shouting, but there's no way to stop this. Everything is going too fast this time around.
Miguel is here, tearing through the sky towards you. But you know it's too late. He's too far away. He can't save you this time.
Then everything does stop. 
No images in your head. No noise in your ears.
Everything goes black, like the ending of a movie.
Then you hear a thud.
It's loud and close and real.
You snap yourself out of your fugue state, to see Miguel towering over Wong's body where the Sorcerer Supreme lies, limp and lifeless on the ground.
“What did you do!? Are you out of your mind?" you shout, running up to them.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Wong isn’t moving, not even blinking!
"He was hurting you!" Miguel roars. 
"He wasn't hurting me, you big doofus!" you shout back, and it’s only then that the fury in Miguel’s eyes seem to abate. 
"What's wrong with him?” you ask, bending down Wong’s limp body on the ground. “Is he dead!? Did you kill him?” There's a rising panic pushing inside your throat.
"He's just paralyzed."
"He’s para– What do you mean paralyzed? What did you do to him?"
"I just... I bit him," he uses a finger to part his lips slightly, pushing the upper one up just enough to reveal the sharp edges of his fangs. "There's toxins in them that can have a paralyzing effect."
You glance back at Wong. He’s still worryingly still. 
“Is there some kind of way to un-paralyze him!?"
"It was just a small bite," Miguel says, ducking his head down sheepishly to stare at the floor, like a scolded boy. "I didn’t use that much venom... It’ll wear off. He shouldn't be out long. Maybe half an hour or so."
“I’m sorry. So, so sorry,” you tell Wong fervently, hovering over him. You can see his eyes tracking yours and the rise and fall of his chest, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the proof that he’s still alive. “Do you, um… Do you want me to help you up?”
“He’s not gonna want to move for a few more minutes,” Miguel interjects from behind you. “Moving will be incredibly painful until the venom wears off the rest of the way”. 
What the actual fuck!?
You throw a glare at Miguel, as you loop an arm under Wong’s waist, “Well help me move him so he can be more comfortable.” 
At your command, Miguel helps you prop the man up against the wall in what is (hopefully) a more comfortable position, and then you sit next to each other and wait.
"I can't believe you bit the Sorcerer Supreme," you mutter under your breath. “Miguel, you can’t just–” you cut yourself off, too frustrated to find the proper words. 
"I'm sorry,” he says, grimacing at your scolding, looking regretful for once as he ducks down his gaze. “You looked like you were in pain".
Your anger subsides, if only slightly at his repentance. 
“It still doesn’t make it okay. You can’t just attack someone like that! He was trying to help us.”
He doesn’t say anything more to that, just stares down at his feet in contrition. 
The two of you sit in the silence. 
Your mind goes back to the surreal experience you just had. The myriad of thousands if not millions of images that were flashing through your mind at the speed of light.
The warped shape of your world, the jarring images of it distorted and wrong, as it started to collapse. 
Miguel had said that didn’t he? That the universe was going to ramp up its game and if it didn’t succeed, it would eventually self-destruct in its mission to get you.
It takes 26 minutes. The first sign that the toxins are wearing off is that Wong is able to wiggle his toes. His recovery accelerates after that, he's able to move his fingers, then the muscles in his face until he's able to form a grimace. He doesn't look happy, and you don't blame him.
After another five minutes or so, he's able to speak again. 
"Strange way of expressing gratitude, literally biting the hand that helps you."
You get up on your feet to help Wong, and Miguel moves next to you. 
“No, you stay there! Don’t move,” you order, and even though he scowls, Miguel complies. 
You hunch over next to Wong, and help him sit fully upright. He stays seated, but dusts his robe off from the caked soot and fine layers of dirt. 
“This has happened in other dimensions,” Wong tells you. “And if we don’t stop it, our universe will be destroyed.”
“How do we stop it?” you ask. 
“The universe wants you dead. It won’t stop until it achieves its goal.”
Your stomach drops. 
“So in order for this to stop… I need to die?”
There’s a look of barely contained fury burning in Miguel’s red eyes that seems to vibrate out of his skin and pounce. But he doesn't, this time he remains in place, visibly restraining himself, still following your orders. 
“There is that option, or you will need to find the reason for why it wants to kill you. And you need to find it soon, because you don’t have a lot of time left. You will have even less time once the people of this world realize the threat you present to the continued integrity of this universe.” 
“Are you threatening her!?” Miguel demands, and somehow even though you didn’t hear him move, he’s right behind you, red eyes glowing, shoulders rising, looming over Wong, ready to cut him down at any further hints that the man might be a threat to your safety. 
Wong doesn't seem deterred in the slightest. 
You have to give it to the Sorcerer Supreme. He's a brave one. It took you weeks before you stopped being intimidated by the man, and Miguel’s never bitten you. 
“I am only telling you what the universe tells me. And it tells me that you do not belong here at all. The universe thinks neither of you belong here.”
You think back on fortune teller's drawing of the poorly drawn circle and stickfigure of you that’s speared with arrows.
"What if we went… somewhere else?" Miguel asks.
For the first time since he entered this house, his tone is no longer dripping with anger. “What if we left this universe and dimension?”
The image of white blankness enters your mind at his words. You shudder at the reminder. The cold numbness of the void and the sensation of nothingness. Dread fills your veins. A cold clammy sweat flashes hot and cold against your skin at the memory.
Wong tilts his head up in deep consideration. “That might work. This universe would slowly return to equilibrium with her gone. But… This will just start again in any new Universe. Most likely she wouldn’t be able to stay. She might have to leave every dimension she's in for the rest of her natural lifespan. A life spent always on the run.” 
Wong pauses as he glances over to you with sympathy and concern in his gaze. “Is that something you would want?” 
What is the alternative here? To lie down and die?
“Yes.”
“One month’s time, you need to find a way to leave this dimension before then.”
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Back at your hotel that evening, you wake up to the sound of distress. Muffled whimpers and quiet moans. 
By habit, your eyes roam the room, seeking out Miguel in the dark. He’s lying on the sofa from across the room and even in this distance you can make out that his body is writhing beneath the covers. But you’re groggy and too sleep-drunk to make sense of what you’re hearing or seeing. 
There’s murmured noises from him, and it takes you far too long to understand what’s going on. 
He’s having a nightmare. 
Tugging off the blanket on top of you, you get up and scoot over to the end of the bed over to him. Miguel looks like he’s in pain. There’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead as he tosses and turns, face pinched in pain and distress. Now that you’re closer, you can make out words in the sounds he’s making. 
“Quiero quedarme contigo. No te vayas, no te vayas,” he keeps murmuring. 
He looks exhausted. Which, of course he is. He's been on constant alert trying to protect you. Fighting off supernatural weather phenomena, blocking hazardous furniture and fighting off charging hippos out of nowhere. Of course he's worn out.
“Shhhh, It’s alright.” you whisper to him, reaching out to gently stroke his arm, attempting to soothe him. “It’s okay.”
He groans unhappily in his sleep, burying his head into the cushion.
“Quiero quedarme conti–”
"Hey, hey, Miguel,” you tap insistently at his shoulder now. If you can’t soothe the nightmare away, then maybe you can at least wake him up out of it, “It's okay. Wake up."
This time his eyes slam open, wide with adrenaline and shock, and he shoots upright, head whipping from side to side as he scans the room. Every inch of him prepared to leap into a fight.  
“What’s wrong? What’s–”
“You were having a nightmare,” you explain to him. 
He stiffens at that, dropping his eyes to stare down at his lap unhappily. 
“Shit, did I wake you?” he runs a hand over his face, then lays back down, “Sorry.” 
Silence blankets the two of you, and you don’t know what else to say to him. Except just that you want him to be able to rest–truly rest–after the day, week and month you’ve both had. You don’t want him to have to go back to snatching moments of troubled, uncomfortable sleep on that stupid, too-small couch.
“You could come sleep on the bed with me,” you offer, “That couch is nowhere near big enough for you.”
"It's fine," he mutters, "It's been fine the last month, and it's fine now."
"It's not though. You're clearly not sleeping well.  I should have asked you before.  I'm surprised your back isn't already killing you—that sleeping position looked painful."
His head darts down, eyeing his own spread legs that are sticking out into the empty air from the bottom of the couch. But he doesn't concede the point.
"Please?" you try again, "It will make me feel better."
Apparently all you needed to do was ask, because Miguel immediately complies like your request was a decree. He gets up, pulling the quilt with him, his mop of curls in adorable disarray as he drags his feet over to the other side of the bed and flops down with a loud thump that makes the whole mattress bounce underneath you.
You can feel the pull of the sheets where his legs threaten to brush up against your bent knees, and you're beginning to realize you didn't think this through. Even in the big bed, there's only so much space, and he seems to be taking up most of it.  
He's close, and you can't seem to peel your eyes away from the strong line of his throat. Can't help the way your body reacts. Your pulse starts to race, heart kicking up hard and fast against your ribs.
Miguel turns around to observe you with narrowed eyes. “You okay?” 
Shit! Did he hear you? That timing was too on the nose. You nod at him a little bit too frantically and you sound high-pitched and skittish even to your own ears. 
 “Yes of course, why wouldn’t I be?”  
“Your heart is beating really fast.”
Fuck. He could hear you. Of course he can, he has super hearing powers doesn’t he? 
“I’m just tired,” you stammer out, wrapping the blanket close to your chest for layers as a shield from his super hearing. 
Miguel doesn’t push it. He turns back around, letting his head drop down the pillow. 
The distance between you has been growing smaller and smaller with each passing day together and you think you have been crossing an invisible line that you shouldn’t be crossing as of late. 
You think of the closeness of him in the office, the weight of his arms on your waist as he held you in his lap. His eyes on you. The bare skin of his broad back casually revealed to you when he was changing. The same back that you find yourself staring up at in this moment. 
“Go to sleep,” Miguel rasps from your side, and you nearly jump out of your skin in surprise. 
You close your eyes, but somehow in the dark you become even more keenly aware of his presence in the bed with you. Your heart seems to skip a little bit faster as the seconds pass, each beat a little bit harder. 
There's a quiet sigh, then a much louder exhale, as he turns back towards you in bed. 
"What's wrong?" His voice is still gruff with sleep.
"I can’t fall asleep,” you say, staring up at the ceiling in the dark. “Can you talk? It might help me sleep."
He snorts with a laugh. The sound of it makes something pleasant skitter up the length of your spine. He's got a nice laugh. It's a shame he doesn't laugh often.
"What's so funny?"
"No, nothing. Just... some things never change." Even in the dim of the unlit room, you can see the smile on his lips.
"What do you want me to talk to you about?" he asks.
You tilt your head, considering it. Miguel rarely gives you a carte blanche to ask him for information. Logically, you should use this moment to seize a tactical advantage and ask him for all the salacious details that you know he’s been keeping from you. But as you wrack your brain for questions, the only ones that come to mind are disappointingly ordinary. You just want to know more about him. Small, silly, personal details, the way he seems to know everything about you. 
"Tell me about where you're from," you request, "Your dimension. Your hometown." 
He shifts on the bed, lying flat on his back until he’s staring up at the ceiling with you as he reminisces. 
"It's called Nueva York. It's significantly more technologically advanced than this dimension. Definitely cleaner. People aren't as big of assholes as they are here. Public hygiene is way better, everything doesn’t reek of piss. Oh, and there’s not a rat epidemic in the public transportation system there." 
His head turns to his side to look at your face, and he gives you a small mischievous grin as he continues. "Food is healthier. You don't get junk food there."
The words should be complimentary, but from his tone of voice and what you know of his eating habits, you think it’s probably a win for your dirty, rat-infested dimension.
"Lots of skyscrapers and neon-lights everywhere. It's colorful."
He pauses, as if he's struggling to find anything more to say about the place. Then his head tips to the side, meeting your eyes, and his gaze is soft. 
“I'll take you there," he promises, voice quiet and warm and it makes something sweet and honeyed trickle inside your veins pleasantly. 
“How?” you wonder.
His smile drops, replaced by an unhappy frown. “Not sure yet, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Can’t we just open up a portal like last time?”
He shakes his head. 
"The last time I took you through the portal, it was meant to take us back to my dimension.  But I built the parallel universe traversal device to transport me—and only me—through the multiverse."
He reaches out to you, fingers wrapping gently around your wrist. The contact makes your skin tingle, but you don’t pull away. 
"I wasn't thinking last time. We can’t take the risk of winding up back in the void.” 
He’s mumbling now, nearly asleep. His eyes half-shut as he blinks slowly, struggling to keep them open as he slowly blinks.
"Someone that disappears in the void, they'll be erased from existence and out of every timeline. No one will ever remember you or know you existed. It's as if you've never existed at all."
You eye the watch on your wrist. The slight sheen of the bed light reflecting against the shiny glass.
"Can we modify the watch?"
"Firstly, not a watch", he reminds you by rote as he fluffs up his pillow with his arm. 
"And second..." he pauses, eyes drifting up to study the ceiling before he shakes his head, "I've tried. It doesn’t work. The power source isn’t powerful and your world is not technically advanced enough for me to build an upgraded self-sustaining fusion power source that would be needed. It’s how we ended up in the void.” 
Worry burrows into your chest, and your gaze drops down from his face. It always feels like you’re taking one step forward and ending up two steps back. Futile and hopeless but that’s what you get for trying to fight against the will of the universe. 
"Go to sleep," he says again, his hand coming to rest gently on top of your head, "I'll figure it out, don't worry.”
You smile, warmed by the comforting gesture and his reassurance. 
“I won't let you get hurt this time."
…‘this time.’
The promise cuts through you like glass. Sharp and jagged and clawing its way into your chest until it hurts you to breathe.
Miguel is talking to you, but you don’t think it’s you he’s thinking of when he says the words.
He attacked Wong without a second of hesitation when he thought you were hurt. He's exhausting himself half to death to protect you. But you know that he’s not really doing any of this for you. 
It’s not your comfort he was thinking of when he cradled your burnt hand and gently blew on your fingers. It’s not your love of egg tarts that makes him save the flaky pastries for you when the two of  you go out for dinner. It’s not you—has never been you—that he’s seeing whenever his eyes linger on your face when he thinks you’re not paying attention. 
You're riding on the emotional coattails of the other you. The unwavering loyalty that he had for her has transferred to you now that she's gone.
He must have really loved her. 
There’s a sharp fissure in your chest, and you try to swallow down the thistle of needles that’s found its way into your throat, only to discover that your saliva tastes sour and bitter. 
Closing your eyes, you can see an image of yourself smiling with him, laughing with him, holding his hand. Except it’s not you. 
It’s her. 
Other-you, with the wedding band and the happy life and– And somehow better hair too, the lucky bitch!
Except… she wasn't lucky, was she? She's dead.
She’s dead, and you still resent her for what she had with Miguel. It's such an ugly feeling. 
You squeeze your eyes shut as hard as you can, but the image doesn’t go away. Nor does that acrid taste in your mouth. You can't help it. This irrational and childish madness is eating into the edges of your mind. You're envious of your other self. 
God that’s fucked up. 
Does someone like you even deserve to be saved at all?
~ Next Issue
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Credits & Dedications: To @thirstworldproblemss for all the rubberducking we do together on this silly little story. Thank you so much for sitting with me and making this fun! I love you 234238472938492374923 x infinity and back again.
a/n: to be notified of new writing updates follow astroboots-writes and turn on notifs.
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