#But going ‘everyone who likes harmless thing is actively evil and horrible’ is not it

[thebestusernamepossible]

Fandom is so tiring sometimes. Like girl(gn) not everything you dislike has to be for some moral reason! And you trying to justify disliking/liking something harmless by basing it in morality is not good for your or anyones mental health. Please stop doing that. It gives reason for my intrusive thoughts to say I’m bad for disagreeing with you even if I know logically your point is fucking stupid. Like it’s FANDOM, it’s not that serious. Chill out. A person is not morally wrong for not having the same favorite book in a series as you.

[bokettochild]

so I noticed that you seem to have never mentioned anything about what the bad guys do in your Opera House au so I thought maybe they are just critics that have big vendettas against the chain and are always looking for things to pick on when they go to their shows? Idk random thoughts you can ignore this if you like *yeets self out of window*

-Window anon

Hmmmm...

I'm going to say that Ganon at least is a business tycoon of a rival company to Flora's father, and while, on one hand, he is actively trying to topple their company for his own gain, there is also the fact that his little sister Riju is constantly undermining him? And he can't even confront her about it because she inevitably manages to distract him with something else (like talking about boys, he is a VERY protective older brother, no you are NOT dating another loser Hylian boy, young lady!). I would't say he's evil, I just think he's rich and has power and doesn't always use it to benefit the people who need it, so it's more that the media hates his guts.

Hmmmm.....basically, if you know anything about American Politics, he's a slightly less horrible version of Trump. Like, if Trump knew that respecting women was possible and good for your health. So yeah, the entirety of the young generation makes so many memes about this guy, and he kinda deserves it.

As for the rest!

Veran and Onyx are Ganon's trusted business partners overseas. They're technically under his mothers' supervision, but they also answer to him. They're not evil, even if they have made it their personal mission between the three of them to get the notorious street artist Sheik and his(her?) little sidekick arrested, mainly just because Sheik keeps leaving street art on their buildings specifically.(Lullaby and Ganon have beef. It's not even big beef, they're just both petty.)

Onyx and Veran also have beef with Legend, not for any good reason even, they just do. He's purposefully annoying whenever he and Lullaby have to be around the three of them, and Ganon genuinely will call off a meeting if he sees Lullaby's pet brat waiting for her.

Then we have Vaati. Vaati is....well, to put it short (pfft), Four's rival. Four is the Mr. Fix-It at the opera but he also dabbles and creates in his own time. Vaati and he met at an expo where Vaati's mentor, Ezlo, took a shine to Four and thus sparked jealousy from his then-student. They're never violent, just extremely aggressively trying to one up each other all the time.

That said, Vaati's actually pretty chill to anyone who's not Four! Although he does tend to flirt with Dot whenever he sees her. His little brother is the opposite: edgy and grouchy to everyone OTHER than Four, although whether that started as a way to piss off his big brother or because he genuinely enjoyed Four's company is yet to be determined. Vaati hates it though, so, either way, mission success!

Zant is just a online troll who likes bashing successful people and tends to target the opera mostly to spite Midna, because he knows her ex and her bestie both work there. The crew actually love reading his posts online though and enjoy laughing at him. He's basically harmless, and while Midna hates it, Twilight loves reading how Zant is going to bash him on any given day.

Yuga is a really shitty art professor at Hilda's art school who likes trying to manipulate her and who Legend and Ravio kinda think is hitting on her. They hate him, she just thinks he's "strange but talented". His art is very unique though, they can't deny it. Ledge signed up to take his class just to keep an eye on him, so Yuga kinda hates his guts now, but also he can't fail him, because Ledge is actually good, so he kinda hates his guts instead and tries to make life difficult for him instead.

As for Cia? She's a fangirl. She's one of the more loud and outspoken fans that Warriors has, and slightly insane? They think? He had to take out a restraining order on her, and she violates it routinely. They don't know what, precisely, was the final straw to make him file for the order, but there is a history of drama there that only newbies don't know not to ask about.

I will say that Octavio is a musician who goes out of his way to point out every flaw or fault the opera has. He could be a critic? Maybe? He's a well regarded musician at any rate and has made his opinions very public. He doesn't damage their reputation a lot, but sometimes he gets on the team's nerves.

Malludus is the ghost that Spirit says is haunting the mechanic shop. He has no proof, he's never seen it, but he swears that it's the reason stuff is always a mess there. Wind's one of the only people who believes him, but he also believes Ravio about the ghosts that the Lorulian says haunt the opera, so....

As for Ghirahim? I'm not sure..... I'm wracking my brain, but I got nothing. Suggestions.

[myhomeiswriting]

Goddess Flora the Fae of the Forest

Imagine: a young woman in a flowing white dress dashing through a forest. Is she a spirit you wonder? A ghost? Maybe a witch, running from her latest kill. If you believe such horrible stereotypes about witches who really were healers more than child-eaters, but don’t tell the villagers that. They told their children those awful stories to keep them safe in their beds at night and keep them from wandering in the woods. So why, then, has my spirit always longed to go wandering at night when I know it is most dangerous, but not because of witches, but because of the night creatures who can see you better in the dark than you will ever be able to see them. Or because of the ravine behind town that would be easy to walk and fall into at night due to a lack of visibility. We’ve always been most afraid of what we couldn’t see because without our eyes to tell us the truth, we must trust that the thing we don’t understand will have empathy for us, and children have always been told never to trust strangers. It’s no wonder that we live in a world that fears everything we can’t see, or that doesn’t look exactly like us. You grow up with ghost stories, you’re going to believe in ghosts. Same goes for racism and prejudice. I sought out ghost stories because I liked the idea of living on even in a corporeal form after death. The thing I feared the most as a child was death, because none of the adults could explain it to me. All they could tell me was that Jesus loved me and that if I believed in him with all my heart I would go to heaven when I died, but that never brought me any comfort, because what if I didn’t believe enough? What if I didn’t know how? No one could answer that question. To be honest, I’m not sure I ever asked it. Pretty sure I kept that one to myself because I knew there was never going to be a satisfying answer. So, I gave up on Jesus and his magical heaven around 14 years old and never really went back. I am still a heathen who prays when someone I know is in trouble with something I can’t help them with, because I need to do something, and I can’t say for certain if prayer doesn’t work. All I know is that I don’t believe in it myself, but that doesn’t mean anything really. Maybe it would really work better if I did believe in it, but I’ll never know because I’ll never believe. I believe in ghosts and demons, however, regardless of a lack of interest in God. I can believe in evil, what I cannot fathom is a benevolent god who sits on the sidelines and lets people suffer. That’s not a new idea, and I know that. I am not the first to struggle with accepting faith in a god who just let’s people die and be condemned to hell because they didn’t believe the right amount. I can accept belief in a healing power that exists in the rocks and stones and living flora. I can believe the world in which we live was made with certain magic meant to heal us and keep us alive, because I want to believe in that, because that speaks of active benevolence; the earth is a god I can believe in because it’s natural and kind and there for everyone whether they are believers or not. One does not have to believe a crystal can have healing properties and still be positively affected by its power without even knowing it. That belief is harmless, but believing God told you homosexuality is wrong is dangerous and detrimental to society at large, and specifically a select group of that society then has to live in fear that you’ll come for them in the night to burn them at the stake or stone them to death. What did you imagine when I asked you to imagine a woman in a white dress running through the woods? Was she white? In her 20s? a crystal-loving hippie? What stereotypes did you assign her? Because that’s my point: Look at your prejudice; you have them even if you don’t think you do.

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

On Boschlow, Skarlow and imaginary moral superiority

Alright, before anyone wants to yell at me for putting this in the ship tags, this is less an “anti ship”-post and more of an “I want to have this conversation with shippers because I think it’s important to talk about this”-post.

So, Boschlow has always been a fairly popular ship in the fandom, which doesn’t really surprise me, because the whole bully/victim dynamic is just incredibly popular, no matter which fandom you enter.

As a person that got bullied throughout the majority of my high school years, I have thoughts about this dynamic being so popular in general, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss today.

Recently, there has been an increasing number of Skarlow shippers making art and writing fics.

What makes this so different from Boschlow?

Essentially... nothing, and that’s exactly why I felt the need to make a post about this.

I’ve seen a bunch of Skarlow shippers say they do not ship Boschlow because Boscha is an awful person, putting themselves above the Boschlow shippers and making Skarlow a “superior” dynamic, based on... what, exactly?

From my perspective, there’s exactly two things Skara has on Boscha when it comes to shipping her with Willow. One being, she hasn’t thrown trash on her—which is an incredibly low bar to set.

The other thing? Skara acknowledged Willow’s Grudgby skills at the end of WILW.

And that’s a scene that gets misinterpreted a lot. See, people take Skara being nice to Willow here as a sign that she’s a way better person than Boscha, that she’s changed, and so on and so forth.

But this is untrue.

What exactly is it that changes between the beginning of WILW and the ending of the episode, between Willow and Skara specifically? It’s that Skara has seen Willow is good at Grudgby. Grudgby is something of value to Skara, thus, Willow’s skills impressing her makes Willow someone worthy of being treated well.

The ending of the Grudgby episode isn’t everyone except Boscha suddenly magically being better people. They’re all still very much bullies. They’re just now seeing Willow as someone who is better than other people because of her skills—and should therefore be treated better.

Boscha isn’t as willing to share her imaginary pedestal with Willow. But that’s the only difference. All the Grudgby girls are currently still on that pedestal. They’re just seeing Willow as someone worth sharing it with now. If they saw someone being “weak” the way they thought Willow to be previously to the match, they’d bully that person the same way they did Willow.

This isn’t any of them being better. This is all of them behaving the same way they always have. Willow is just moving up in their social hierarchy.

It shouldn’t take being good at some magical sport, or being a talented witch, or whatever the heck, to decide not to bully someone. NOBODY deserves to be bullied. Even the weakest, least sporty witch of the Boiling Isles should be treated with the same amount of respect as any of their classmates. Your value as a person shouldn’t be defined by how good you are at something. You have value no matter what you are and aren’t good at. And that’s something Skara and the others still fail to acknowledge.

Also I think it’s worth noting that even when they were treating Willow better at the end of the episode, they didn’t go out of their way to apologize for how they’d treated her before. They acknowledged her skills and don’t at all comment on how they treated her previously to the match.

If it takes some huge effort from Willow and her friends for the Grudgby girls to treat her with even an ounce of respect, that’s not character development. Character development would be them changing their general behavior. Acknowledging the way they’ve treated others was shitty, apologizing for that and actually working on being better. Is there a possibility this might happen? Sure. But you guys basically pretend WILW is their redemption arc already fully done. You’re giving Skara and the others credit for something that currently haven’t even happened.

And the option of them ditching Boscha (which also currently hasn’t happened) wouldn’t be a redemption arc either, even if it could be part of one.

Cutting toxic people out of your life can help, but Amity’s redemption arc was that, plus her explaining herself to Willow and giving Willow time, and actually acting on her word of not letting her friends pick on her again. Amity making it up to Willow wasn’t that she cut out Boscha and Skara. It was that she not only promised to be better but acted accordingly, standing at Willow’s side when she needed her.

(And Skara not constantly being a dipshit when she’s in the background is not a valid argument for why she’s a better person than Boscha. Boscha is also a harmless character when the episode isn’t focused on her, e.g. in Covention & Sense and Insensitivity. That Skara isn’t actively bullying her friends—which, uh, most people like their friends? This shouldn’t be that surprising?—is not a thing that should earn her any points in being “nicer” than Boscha.)

Do I think it might be a bit easier to get through to Skara than Boscha when it comes to letting go of current behaviors? Possibly.

From the way their characters are written and with how Boscha refuses to acknowledge Willow as equal even after the Grudgby match, it’s fairly obvious that it would need some pretty major event to get through to her. There’s an extra step here with Boscha (needing to learn to acknowledge others as having equal value to herself) that Skara doesn’t need to take.

BUT that one step in what should be a fairly long journey for either of them is far from enough to justify one ship being better than the other.

From the way I’ve seen it written (and unfortunately also experienced it in the comment section of my own fic), a bunch of skarlow shippers like to excuse Skara’s behavior by entirely pinning it on Boscha, pretending she’s actually a great person and that it’s only her friendship with Boscha that makes her toxic—and also that Boscha is the only one that should be held accountable for everyone’s behavior.

I am not exaggerating, I got a comment that essentially said “this shows wonderfully that Amelia and Skara are actually good people that unfortunately met a horrible person that had too much control over them.”

This strips Skara and Amelia of any accountability for their actions. And the idea of Boscha being an evil mastermind that forced all her friends into doing things they never wanted is... quite frankly, stupid, and also untrue. Skara actively encourages Boscha making fun of Willow at the beginning of Understanding Willow:

In the same episode it’s also stated that Amity “let her new friends bully [Willow] for years”, which definitely includes Skara and isn’t just about Boscha.

Skara looks really pleased when Boscha takes Willow’s hair clip at the beginning of WILW, just appears bored and not at all sympathetic when she throws gum at Willow, and grins gleefully when Boscha suggests using the others as target practice later in the episode:

Also, in Once Upon A Swap, Boscha’s entire squad is messing with people all over Bonesborough. Skara is throwing monster balloons at the city when Boscha isn’t even present:

Not only that, but a very large portion of the episode has Skara and the others literally ditch Boscha in favor of an even meaner person (King in Luz’s body).

King states, and I quote, “Hey, impressionable youths! Under my command, you could learn how to do some real damage.” after unleashing a monster on the city. And the entire group cheers him on and decides to follow him.

If Skara was actually so much better than Boscha, why the heck would she run after someone that is worse than her when given the opportunity?

And here comes the thing that a lot of the Skarlow shippers refuse to acknowledge because they for some reason feel the need to have moral superiority over Boschlow shippers: Skara isn’t a nice girl. Skara is a bully. And Skara should be held accountable for her actions in the same way as Boscha. Saying everything she did was just Boscha forcing her is entirely untrue to canon and just a lame excuse to make your ship look better.

Boscha and Skara have both bullied Willow for several years. If you want to ship either of them with her, even if you just want one of them to be friends with her, that needs to be acknowledged and definitely not excused. Even if you treat Skara’s bullying of Willow as something she did only due to Boscha (which, again, is canonically complete nonsense), she’s still hurt Willow to pretty much the same extent as Boscha has.

That a person isn’t as into the bullying as someone else doesn’t make it hurt any less for the victim of the bullying.

No matter if you ship Skarlow or Boschlow, commit to the reality that Skara and Boscha are both Willow’s bullies. Quit pretending Skara is so much better than Boscha, or that she isn’t responsible for her actions.

She is just as responsible for bullying Willow for years as Boscha is.

I’m so sick of hearing how Skara’s bullying is far more redeemable than Boscha’s. It’s not. Stop declaring bullying that doesn’t get physical harmless. As someone who was “only” ever verbally bullied, let me tell you that after four years of not seeing that person I’m still scarred by it. Stop getting your head so stuck in high school movies. Just because not every kind of bullying involves someone getting shoved into a locker doesn’t mean it’s not harmful.

Even worse: the take that people are shipping Skarlow “because they realized shipping Willow with Boscha is inherently toxic”. Tell me again why this “revolutionary” movement deciding that Willow deserves better then turns around and ships her with another one of her bullies?

This isn’t about treating Willow better. You’re just making Boscha seem unreasonably evil for no reason, and treating Skara as her not at all responsible victim, so you can ship Willow with her and don’t have to acknowledge that Willow is a victim of both of their bullying.

This needs to stop. Skara needs to be held just as accountable as Boscha.

If a Skarlow shipper exclusively comes from a perspective of “I think their personalities would mix better”? Sure, whatever, they may or may not, but that’s a valid opinion to have. But don’t start shipping Skarlow because you think you’re being better to Willow than the Boschlow shippers.

This whole thing isn’t a movement to get Willow a better girlfriend, lol

Both of them bullied her. Both ships are bully/victim dynamics. Skarlow does not actually have any moral superiority over Boschlow. As much as you refuse to acknowledge this, these two ships share the same basic dynamic.

Stop pretending shipping Willow with one of her bullies is leagues better than shipping her with another.

[niuniente]

Did you experience something bad or scary with Randonautica?

Okay, I want to speak to all of you as a person who’s specialized in spirits, spiritual work, demonic activity and paranormal about one currently hot subject:

Randonautica app.

Now, those who don’t know what this is, the app let’s the user to find something they set their mind into. You can wish to find something beautiful and the app gives you a spot where you need to go. Or you want to find an abandoned book and the app takes you there. Sounds fun, right?

But, there’s a downside; a possibility to harmful and traumatizing events. For some reason this app operates like instant manifestation mixed with Ouija board. A single app can’t possibly randomly know where to take you when you want to find something you set your mind into. Only a spirit realm has such a knowledge and not all spirits are fun. Not especially if you think it’s just fun and games and try something like “LOL let’s ask it to find something evil”. You know, such a quest let a teenager group in the USA to a dead body that had been cut into parts and stuffed into a luggage back. I have seen one video where the group wanting to find evil was sent to a woman who was clearly possessed (I can sense energies from videos and photos and can tell if something is a hoax - that was not). I have seen people shaking and crying after they thought this is a harmless little fun with horrible requests, like some Halloween game.

Now, while it might be fun to try to find something scary and horrifying, the chances are that you will find something you didn’t want to find, see or hear. Like that dead body. Or a dangerous person or situation. Or an evil entity, even a demonic one, which can follow you to your home (or get attached to you). At home, it can harm you or your loved ones, pets included. It’s nothing uncommon that a demonic entity can kill pets if it can find its way into houses. And, it’s not uncommon that spirits WILL follow you and attach themselves to you - and appear first completely harmless, especially if it’s demonic.

If you don’t know what you are doing, you leave yourself exposed for unwanted things and spirits, just like with ouija board. I have 30 years experience in paranormal and 21 years in divination and spirit work, and still today I don’t own or use ouija board, even when I know how to make it harmless. It’s a powerful professional tool.

The app itself is not evil. Just like a knife is not evil. It’s how you use it; like witha knife, you can cut yourself a piece of delicious bread or cheese, OR you can go “Lol, I wonder what happens if I stab someone with this?”. That’s how the app works, too.

My recommendation as a professional of these matters is that first, you don’t use Randonautica for spooky lols because you have no fucking clue with what you are messing with.You don’t have to believe in spirit or paranormal or anything else such for it to be out there. Just like the weather doesn’t ask whether you want it to happen to you or not, if you mess for lols with honestly dangerous things like hauntings, paranormal, ghost, spirits, evil, demons, demonic it’s the same as trying Russian roulette with yourself. In the worst case scenario you take something with you to your home - this is very common and an amateur mistake - or you get a demon stalker which seeks to possess you. Again I remind that you don’t have to believe in these things; they WILL happen if you open yourself up and expose yourself to them with these fun and games. Basically your wish to encounter something, let’s say evil, with Randonautica is an invitation for a spirit to attack and attach to you. Nothing might not follow you, but the risk is super, super big.

Second, concentrate on wanting to see, experience and find something positive. Ask for the guidance from light/love, so it shuts the entry from negative spirits, like people who were evil and passed away but haven’t crossed the light yet, negative nature spirits and demonic entities.

Would you want to find something evil, you need to perform yourself a spiritual protection and then spiritual cleaning. It must be performed to all and do it properly. Not anything “Lol this is so fun and exciting lol”. It asks professional mental and physical work. You should also spiritually protect and clean your house. You should also ask guidance from love and light. This is the rookie mistake I see with every fricking ghost hunter and paranormal investigator(s), excluding one American team, one British team and all the Arabic investigators due the strong presence of religious beliefs-

Final thing: If you have encountered something scary, traumatizing, troubling etc. with Randonautica, please know that my DM and ask box are always open for you. Also in Twitter at niuniente. If I can help you, I will. If I can explain what you experiences, I will. There are very little things I wouldn’t have any knowledge of when it comes to spirits, paranormal, demons and spiritual laws. I know such things are scary and many suffer even decades when they don’t know what they’re dealing with and what to do with them. I don’t want you to live in fear of something you don’t understand. I want to help if I can, even when I can’t come to you to perform any cleaning and protective rituals physically.

If nothing bad happened to you, that’s good! Not everyone gets horrible outcomes with the ouija either. But too many do. Be cautious and look after yourself and your friends.

[shinyflareon]

Dude I so agree with you about fandom culture. I think now days, people are too worried about purity culture and being so overly critical, that they forgot to just have fun and maybe explore a little bit of themselves while theyre at it. Looking back, there certainly were problems and discourses but at least we all had fun and just put our content out there without worrying that we'd be called this or that terrible term or sent death threats for god forbid exploring sth nuanced in fiction

For sure! By and large, we were all just dumb kids having a good time, coming into our own independence alongside an internet in its infancy and reveling in the anonymity that our newfound freedom provided. Like, there was some pretty awful stuff that got passed around fandom culture back then! But stuff like Pedobear was regarded as a harmless, if occasionally annoying, meme. Can you imagine if something like that were to emerge today?

But with all those problematic elements - the crass memes and the weebing and the yaoi fangirl-ing (to the point of hating female characters for "getting in the way of teh yaoiz!", sometimes to the point of killing them off! horribly!) - came a revelry and joy in fandom that I can't say I've ever really observed since. Fandom in general became such a cultural touchstone because we were all, collectively, in some way participating in it. It didn't really matter what a person's specific fandom was, because everyone was part of a fandom, and with that came an explosion of art, writing, cosplay, and just general creativity, and the bonding that happened online spilled over into physical spaces like conventions where people who otherwise would never have met could not only do so, but do so happily.

We all knew that our shows, games, whatever, they weren't perfect. That was half the reason we started creating fan works in the first place - to "fix" the "problems" (usually the aforementioned lack of teh yaoiz) that we had with the canon. But we still took joy in them, in the worlds and characters that they gave us, and so we went forth and created.

Now, since we've grown up and new generations have taken up the mantles that we passed down to them, things have gotten a lot more hostile. Creativity has become competition - if you're not good enough, then what's the point? You'll never get noticed, and it doesn't matter anyway. They know more about each other than we ever did, but are more divided than we ever were. Our camaraderie became their battlefield. They've forgotten that there were trolls under those bridges we built, and have instead decided that instead of just not being fed, they should go on righteous, chivalrous quests to slay the evil trolls for good. But the thing is, no one wants to return from a quest empty-handed. So you start finding evil everywhere you look, until that "evil" is just someone who says "I don't headcanon [character x] as [having trait y]."

In that vein, "headcanon" itself seems to have become a dirty word! It's not "my interpretation of the story," it's "the only valid interpretation of the story and if yours doesn't align perfectly with mine then obviously you're a horrible, terrible person, because mine is objectively correct!" I noticed this a lot when I first became aware of "kins" - people got so attached to a character and their headcanons about them that they stopped calling them headcanons and just claimed that they were that character but in "their reality" their headcanons were actual canon, and got incredibly defensive of people from "other realities."

And since it's so easy for everyone to find each other now, people drunk on righteous fury and hungry to - as we would've put it - "win the internet" actively hunt each other down, seemingly for sport, and can find each other's real identities and info with horrifying ease. Fandom is legit terrifying now! Some kid with a keyboard who knows way more about computers than you ever will can blast your private info for everyone to see over the barest slight, all to crow about how terrible you are and preen about how good they are by comparison for exposing you. And the bigger their target, the bigger the victory, which I suspect is partially why some people have gotten bold enough to go after the actual people who make the thing that they're claiming to be a fan of.

There are probably a lot of people who can and have say this all way more eloquently than I could ever hope to, and there's probably a whole hell of a lot I'm either glossing over or straight up missing. I'm sure I could get accused of just wearing rose-tinted nostalgia goggles. But the differences between early fandom culture and modern fandom culture are pretty distressing, even from the outside. I don't really know what to do with this distress but to remember the wise words I was once taught: don't feed the trolls, never give out personal information, don't like, don't read.

[fishoutofcamelot]

Hi there! I hope you’re well. I just wanted to send a message to thank you for the elyan content 😍 he is my favourite knight but for some reason I never see much of him on tumblr! So it’s awesome to see him on your blog. I hope I didn’t bother you with this ask 🙈

I AM doing well, actually! And you didn’t bother me, asks will probably never bother me <3

I could go on for a million years about why no one makes content about Elyan - and sometimes forget he exists altogether - but I don’t wanna start drama so we’ll just. Not touch that topic with a 10-foot pole

BUT! Elyan IS a fantastic knight, and the fact that he is your favourite knight too is very iconic and sexy of you. Elyan fans/stans are the sexiest members of this fandom. That’s not even opinion, that’s just science

So! Here’s a list of Elyan headcanons, because he’s worth it:

Elyan is ace. Them’s the facts

He’s also gay but in that stage where he’s questioning if he might be bi. Unfortunately, he died before reaching an answer

I hate to talk about Hogwarts Houses in 2020, but he is one hell of a Hufflepuff. Elyan is his name and protecting his loved ones with life and limb is his game. It is very easy to earn his loyalty, and once you have he will ride straight through Hell for you

Elyan likes hoods. He wears hoods whenever he can (i mean c’mon, that outfit in season 3 was serving some killer looks)

He’s just a protective older brother to literally everyone in Camelot. Yes, even Gaius

Gwen, Elyan, Leon, and Merlin have family game night once every month. They all gather in their old house in the lower town to get drunk, play some dice games, and spend the whole night goofing off

Only a few people know about game night. Even fewer people have seen it with their own eyes. Arthur and Gwaine frequently try to sneak in to see game night for themselves, but somehow never succeed

Elyan loves swimming. They don’t get many chances for it, but whenever they do, Elyan is the best swimmer out of all the knights

He’s also like. Really good at sneaking up on people. Consistently rolls high on stealth checks

Out of everyone in the Round Table, Elyan is the most easily spooked. He hates it when they gather around the fire to tell ghost stories, bc he will NOT be able to sleep the rest of the night after that

Why do people think there’s no dynamic or chemistry between Elyan and Gwaine??? Those two had a SOLID friendship and I will not stand for this disrespect (also, Perelyan is good but Elyaine is godtier imo)

Elyan is bad at blacksmithing. Like really bad. No one even understands how that works, considering he spent his whole childhood training under his father. All the blacksmithing talent apparently went to Gwen somehow

He likes bugs. When he was a kid he would go out in the woods and collect beetles and stuff to stick in little terrarium jars. He’d even give them names and backstories and personalities. Sometimes he would sit under a tree and tell Gwen stories about all these adventures his bugs would go on when no one was looking

Leon HATED bugs, and got creeped out by them, which meant Elyan was legally obligated to harass him about it

Elyan doesn’t get much chance to catch bugs anymore, but he’s also the only member of the Round Table who can put up with spiders

Spider in the armory? Everyone is freaking out while Elyan just calmly picks it up and lets it outside - but not without lots of snark and eye-rolling, of course

The reason Elyan ran away from home was because his mother had died and he saw it as a personal failing. He felt that it was his fault she was dead, because he couldn’t protect her, and left Camelot because he couldn’t bear the shame of guilt

In the last few years of his time away from Camelot, Elyan fell in love and lived out an mlm cottagecore fantasy where he and his lover raised wyverns together. But when Morgause came to capture him, she killed his lover and burnt their wyvern farm to the ground

Elyan tries not to let his grief be known, though. Not just because he doesn’t want to burden Gwen with his pain, but also because his lover had magic and he could get arrested for having fallen in love with a sorcerer

Morgause had Elyan captive for a while before Gwen showed up. She even used the nathair on him in small increments; not long enough to kill him or damage him irreparably, but enough to make him suffer. It’s for this reason that Elyan was able to bounce back from being tortured by Morgana whereas Gwaine didn’t survive it, because Morgause had already microdosed him with that kind of pain two years ealier

Still traumatizing, though. Like. This boy is EXTREMELY traumatized, can someone please get him some therapy???

Moving back to Camelot with Gwen was simultaneously healing and harming. Healing, because  he visited his dad’s grave, rebuilt his relationship with Gwen, and his companionship with her, Merlin, and Leon helped him move on from the pain of his loss. But harming because of all the anti-magic prejudice that surrounded him, and every time someone said magic was evil it was like another dagger in his heart. That was his dead lover they were talking about and calling a monster. Someone who was kind and compassionate and funny, who didn’t have a lick of evil in them, who would have burned at the stake by Camelot’s laws

Elyan didn’t think about what it meant to be a knight of Camelot when he agreed to be knighted. But he was just so determined to fight and kill Morgause, the woman who had killed his lover and his wyverns and abducted him from his home, that he didn’t even think about it. He just wanted Morgause dead. It wasn’t until a few days later when he realized that being a knight of Camelot meant enforcing Camelot’s anti-magic laws, and this realization naturally caused him distress

Instead of abandoning his knighthood, Elyan found a compromise. He would support Arthur in everything, until magic got involved. If Arthur ever captured druids or put sorcerers to death, Elyan decided he would smuggle them out of the city. He would never actively kill or capture those with magic, and would sometimes even try to sabotage efforts in capturing harmless magic-users

Elyan knew full well what Dragoon was doing. He knew that Gwen and Arthur’s love was true and required no enchantment, meaning Dragoon had simply framed himself to get Gwen out of a jam. He appreciates Dragoon, and even though he supposedly killed Uther, Elyan can’t even fault him for that. Elyan wanted to kill Uther too

Merlin is the little brother Elyan always wanted, and Elyan is the older brother Merlin never had. They act so much like siblings it’s not even funny, and some people question if they were actually raised together 

He and Merlin like to team up and tease Gwen. They’ll walk behind her and chant stuff like “Gwen and Arthur sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G”. They’re like children, and it’s both very funny and very annoying

Gwen gets her revenge, of course. She always gets her revenge

They also team up to be like. Super protective of Gwen. The vetting process Arthur had to go through - between Elyan, Leon, AND Merlin - in order to date Gwen was ridiculous

Arthur: Merlin I’m literally your boss. Your friend. You've been my personal manservant for like six years now

Merlin: Yeah, which means I know exactly how much of a dick you are

After being possessed by the druid ghost, Elyan is a lot more in tune with the supernatural

Am I suggesting that Elyan can now see, talk to, and interact with ghosts, and even starts a little agency where he goes around helping them complete their unfinished business? Why yes, yes I am

When Gwen was banished, Elyan wanted to go with her. But she asked him to stay behind and keep an eye on Agravaine, as she suspected him of treachery, and to stop him from taking over Camelot should Agravaine make a move. And, well, Elyan has never been able to say no to his sister

Elyan and Merlin decided to try and find a way to prove Gwen’s innocence. There’s no way she was acting of her own accord, after all. There was some kind of enchantment at play, there had to be. Merlin doesn’t tell him about Shade!Lancelot directly, but does propose it as a theory regarding how Lancelot had come back from the dead. Elyan supports the theory 100%

About two months after the wedding, Merlin and Elyan locate the enchanted bracelet, and Gwen and Lancelot’s names are finally cleared

In Avalon, Elyan, Freya, and Lancelot spend the whole time watching/narrating the events of season 5 like sports commentators. They are all mutually exasperated at Merlin’s antics

When Arthur shows up in Avalon, the only reason Elyan doesn’t punch him in the face is because he’s too busy restraining Lance from doing the same

He does, however, give him a strong talking-to about how “all your magic and you still can’t save my life” is a horrible thing to say actually

Lancelot, however, is more upset about the “I guess I was wrong” speech

Gwaine shows up in Avalon like. SUPER traumatized. He died while being tortured by a nathair, died in a way that he perceived to be failure, and he’s kinda messed up because of that. Elyan, who has already had a few years to cope with nathair torture, is the one who helps Gwaine heal from his trauma

In the 21st century, Elyan gets reincarnated along with everyone else. His childhood is plagued with weird dreams, dreams that terrify him. Snakes and pain, wyverns and fire, all of it. He meets an old man who calls himself Merlin, who helps Elyan through the pain of remembering his past life. For once, Elyan gets to be taken care of instead of the other way around. For once, he is allowed to be vulnerable and weak and struggling. He doesn’t hide his tears. He gets the help he needs and works through his trauma

And one day, many years later, he is walking down the street when he sees someone who looks oddly familiar. The face of an old lover, perhaps

Thanks for the ask! <3

[the-con-she-called-conscience]

Thank you for tagging me, @tuliharja! Your responses were absolute pleasure to read <3

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Ans. I've a brilliant relationship with my mother, and my father wants to kill me, so that's that.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Ans. My grandmother.

03: Do you regret anything?

Ans. Yes, horribly.

04: Are you insecure?

Ans. Somedays I am, somedays I'm not. Just like everyone else.

05: What is your relationship status?

Ans. I'm single and sometimes sleep deprived.

06: How do you want to die?

Ans. You know, I've experienced a lot of things that should have killed me, but I really said no♥️.

Okay, this one is going to be long, because I feel the need to overshare. In 2018, a person I know and his friends played a ""harmless"" prank on me , and I ended up drowning quite deep. You know those dramatic movies where everything looks slow-mo? Yeah, that's how it felt like. Anyhow, I got out somehow and a kind stranger pulled me up so I was pretty away from water. I always found that prank weird because they took away everyone including life guards, distracted my buddy, barricaded all the shallow areas, but maybe it was simply harmless.

I didn't swim since then, and I was planning to get over my fear this year, but well, 2020 happened.

But having experienced that, when I die of age 2357754367 years, I'd like to die by drowning. I really really do.

If not, an assassination will do. Just make sure it's for a good cause.

07: What did you last eat?

Ans. Gouda.

08: Played any sports?

Ans. Yes, basketball and tennis, mostly. Sometimes, shooting.

09: Do you bite your nails?

Ans. Well no but actually yes.

10: When was your last physical fight?

Ans. I don't remember. I'm more of a pacifist.

11: Do you like someone?

Ans. Do fictional people count?

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Ans. Yes, unfortunately. Never again.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Ans. Hate is a pretty strong word, so I'll pass.

14: Do you miss someone?

Ans. Yes, terribly.

15: Have any pets?

Ans. I used to have two chicks, and my grandmother, till recently, had two Labradors.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Ans. Melancholic.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Ans. Yuck. Never have, never will.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Ans. Absolutely not. I think they're adorable.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Ans. I've been reading too many isekai manga, so yes.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

Ans. I've never kissed anyone in that sense of the word.

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Ans. Give tests, study, and organize a bit.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Ans. I'm an ace. But when I actually have the financial income for it, I'll like to foster some kids, get them great degrees, and send them an emergency fund. I feel as if not many people are talking about the things foster kids face, especially teens and once they age out of the system. I'll pull an evil scientist and clone myself, if a need for someone young with my gene arises.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Ans. My ears were pierced traditionally.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Ans. Biology, Chemistry, Physics, History, Politics, Economics, Geography, Statistics and Languages.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Ans. Yes.

26: What are you craving right now?

Ans. Something I cannot name, for I don't know. Probably water.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Ans. No, none that I know of, and definitely not on purpose.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Ans. As I said, mich Asexual. I've not been in a romantic relationship.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Ans. See above.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Ans. These extremely important exams that are coming in few months.

31: Does somebody love you?

Ans. Yes, and it baffles me so.

32: What is your favourite color?

Ans. Blood Red and Prussian Blue.

33: Do you have trust issues?

Ans. Maybe. Not extremely, but just a bit. Harmless enough to not need intervention.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

Ans. Well, yesterday I had a dream that my favourite characters were there and I was loved, and day before yesterday (Ereyesterday, if you will) I was getting chased by two murderous, ghostly, serial killing cows. They got me in the end, I think.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Ans. I don't cry in front of people. I cry alone.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Ans. Unfortunately, yes.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Ans. Mostly, it is easier to forgive. But that's not an absolute answer or argument.

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

Ans. Well, the fate of this year depends on those super-important exams.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Ans. I've been kissed before I could even walk, I think. If you are thinking in the other sense of the word: well, I've never been kissed that way.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Ans. Once, into the ocean. I was six.

51: Favourite food?

Ans. Tomatoes and Bell peppers. Shakshuka, Kuleybyaka, Thukpa, pickles—you name it. I guess anything traditional/homemade. Anything really, I love food.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Ans. Yes, it does.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Ans. I prayed.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

Ans. No, it isn't.

55: Are you mean?

Ans. Nope. Not until you hurt people.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Ans. As in, actually fought and not practiced, yes? Around six, all in self defense.

57: Do you believe in true love?

Ans. Yes, but not in the way it is portrayed.

58: Favourite weather?

Ans. Cold, with loads of sunlight, Snowing or Thunderstorms—I love the rain.

59: Do you like the snow?

Ans. Yes!

60: Do you wanna get married?

Ans. No♥️

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Ans. No, it activates my fight-or-flight.

62: What makes you happy?

Ans. Stars, books, people being happy, the way you see a stranger's day getting better, winning/accomplishments/success, stationary, hugs, libraries, zoos—it doesn't take much, really.

63: Would you change your name?

Ans. I might. Not change it, but add more names to it.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Ans. Nope, it was my mother. Not hard at all.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Ans. Tell them, as lovingly and kindly as I can, that I do not like them that way, that I'm not looking for a relationship, and that I'd rather be friends. Also tell them that I'll be the world's coolest winggirl ever, so....

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Ans. Yes.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Ans. It was a classmate.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Ans. A family member.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Ans. Yes, but I don't believe anyone is "perfect" for you. You've got to work on your relationships, no matter what kind they are. Also, soulmates are not necessarily only one, and not necessarily romantic, or so I hope.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Ans. Yes, many. Without second thoughts or regrets.

Tagging: @biganimeaesthetictree @somethingpretentious @chaoticneutralcinnamonroll @microwavedsaladisevil @notyouraveragejulie @screechingnightchild @grace-k-sterling @oscarwildeismyidol @porcupinesauce

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #428

“there’s more money in tragedy, more net worth in self-pity  /  so you’re doubling down inside of your screen, hiding behind attention you seek”

Have you ever told someone, besides family, that you love them and meant it? Yeah. I've told friends that platonically, and I've said it to two people and romantically meant it. Are the blankets that are on your bed now made by someone you know in life? No. Have you seen all The Lord of the Rings movies? I haven't even seen one. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had in 2014? I had one. Can you walk in heels? I mean I can, but I don't like to. What does your mom say about the pictures on your Myspace? First the '14 question, now this... I don't think Mom ever had a Myspace, but I can answer for Facebook. She's always the person to "heart" react them and say something about how "beautiful" I am or something. ;x; What was the last thing you and your parents argued about? Idr. Do you feel your life is at its best? Fuck no. There better be better times than this. What do you worry about the most? The most? That's hard to say... but probably my career future. Or really just the future in general. Have you ever let someone be your everything? "Everything" still feels like an understatement. He was my source of happiness, a massive part of my own identity, and my promise for a better future. It was so, so unhealthy. Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms? Two times, I wanna say? What are some things you do when you’re mad? I get snappy and try to isolate myself to cry it out. How do you feel about your hair right now? I hate itttt. It's getting too long and just boring. I'm hoping I can get up with my hairdresser soon for a trim. What’s an interesting fact about you that not many people know? Uhhhh... I guess that I was a dancer for many years. I feel like I don't really fit the general "aesthetic" of dancers, so people have definitely been surprised to find out I was one. Do you do anything embarrassing when no one is home? No. Just because no one ELSE is there, I'd embarrass my damn self lol. If you had the chance to move to a completely different state/county, would you? Fuck yes I would. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? It's funny, because that's what the traumatized, overly-attached part of me wants (at the bare minimum), but my common sense knows that's dumb as fuck. I could never healthily be friends with him. Are you scared of fireworks? No, but others are terrified by them, so keep that in mind. Does anyone know every little detail about you? No. You woke up one day and discovered that you were only able to see in black and white… as well as one other colour. What colour would that be and why? I guess red? It sounds morbid for it to be the first thing my mind goes to, but that way, I'd be able to see blood and therefore be able to detect a symptom of danger. What is your favourite soundtrack for a film/video game/television show? (Though feel free to name as many!) Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus have fucking LEGENDARY soundtracks. What is your favourite Pokémon? Ninetales! I also really love Espeon and Umbreon, too. And Charmander. And Pikachu. And Skitty. And... well, too many, ha ha. What is something your best friend of the opposite sex does that you can’t stand? He calls me "kid" a lot. Is the last book you read a really well-known book? It's not world-famous or anything, but it seems relatively known by teens/young adults. At least, I follow a lot of artists who make fanart for it. Do you have anything besides just songs downloaded on your iPod? No. When at the beach, do you spend more time on the beach or in the ocean? In the water. I hate the beach itself. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? No. Have you ever babysat before? Did you enjoy this job? Yes, and no, not at all. Have you ever busted a window before? Why did you bust it? No. Do you still get scared watching old horror movies? You watch them alone? Horror movies pretty much never scare me, never mind old cheesy ones. I don't mind watching them alone. Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? I'm terrified of big knives, and it has nothing to do with movies. It's a fear that started after Mom stopped me from a suicide attempt where I was going to slit my throat with one. They just radiate danger for me. Have you ever tried to sing opera? Did it work out for you or no? No. What was the last piece of furniture you purchased? I've never bought any furniture, and I don't recall the last thing Mom bought. Have you ever broken up with someone for a reason other than lack of feelings (ex. moving away, etc.)? Yeah; we split because we were essentially two shaky towers leaning against one another. We have to learn to straighten ourselves up independently before that relationship even becomes a "maybe" again. Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? Neither. Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? Nothing really, besides being born in an icestorm. My birth itself was totally normal, as far as I know. Mom considers it pretty extraordinary though because according to her, I took one look at her and smiled so big. Says a lot about our relationship now. What was the best conversation you’ve had recently? *shrug* What is the next book you are going to read? The book that comes next in the series I'm reading. Who was the last person to do something nice for you? My mom does nice things for me every day, like making dinner, letting me live under her roof... a lot of stuff. Is there any artwork in the room you’re in? Yeah, some of my stuff. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Someone asks you what you want; what do you say? Happiness. Direction. What was the last thing you complained about? Just being incredibly sore. The gym's kicking my ass, but it needs to, so I'm fine with it. How do you feel when you hear other people complaining? It depends on how frequently and about what. It can become overwhelming sometimes, especially if it's over something truly trivial. Has your name been in someone’s Facebook status lately? No. Do you own any Sims games? Which ones? I have the original animals one, as well as the African animals one (which I surprisingly like less). What was your first job? I was a sales associate at GameStop. Do people praise you for your looks? Yeah, definitely not. Do you like your eyes? No. I wish they were bluer and wider. Tell me what your back pack looks like: My last one was a galaxy texture. What celebrity do you think is hot? HMMMMMMMMMMMM I DON'T KNOW????????????? NEVER SEEN ONE IN MY LIFE O: O: O: Last movie you saw in theatre: The The Lion King remake. Has someone you were dating ever cheated on you? No. What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? I'd rather not dig through the memories to find what I'd consider the "cutest." What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? A chicken pesto bowl for lunch. Did you ever watch Phil of the Future? Occasionally, but I was never big on it. Do you have an online game that you play often? I play World of Warcraft pretty much daily. Do you prefer regular or electric toothbrushes? Electric. What was the last thing to piss you off? Truly piss me off, I'm not sure. When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? Months ago in my room. I want to take a new one to update my Facebook profile pic, because I think I'm ready to return there. Who was the last person to pay you a compliment or praise? The first day at the gym, Mom told me she was extremely proud of me, and it meant a lot. I truly think I can stick to this, and it's a fucking phenomenal feeling. What’s one thought you have regarding the subject of love? It can be the most beautiful thing in the world, yet simultaneously has the capability to be one of the most painful. Do you think that it’s possible to fall in love at a young age like eleven or twelve? Who am I to say, honestly. I lean towards no because at the age of puberty, you're really all over the place with your hormones and emotions, and I just don't know if it's possible for two pre-teens to have the maturity level to grasp what it truly means to be in love with someone. But again, what do I really know? Everyone is different. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? Yeah sure, if it's something I'm in the mood to engage in and I'm in love with the person. What’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born? We're the home of Pepsi products. I know, of course I would share a fact about soda, ha ha. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? Where I am now as far as "adult development" goes. I don't drive. I don't have a job. I still live with my mother. I could go on and on... By this point, I definitely expected something much, much different when I was younger. What was the last event to cause you any sort of heartache? Hm. I don't know. What was the worst phase you’ve ever gone through? *shrug* What excuse did you use most often to skip school? There were times I'd pretend to have a really bad cough. I could fake a nasty cough, man. Are you shy about singing in front of people? Very. Honestly, do you put your elbows on the dinner table? Yes, because why the fuck would that matter. I don't get how something so simple and harmless is "bad manners." Have you ever taken a picture in a public bathroom? No. Yes or no: corsets? I. FUCKING. LOVE. CORSETS. UGH I wish I could pull one off, omfg. In your opinion, is money the root of all evil? All evil? No. There are some horrible crimes people can commit that have nothing to do with money. Do you own a pair of overalls? Ew, no. I hate overalls. What is the best game to play while in the car? Uh, idk. Has a movie ever made you jump in fear? I'm sure at some point. Jumpscares are hard to be unfazed by; it's just a natural reaction to something sudden. Yes or no: pickles? Bro I LOVE pickles. Yes or no: strawberry ice cream? Ugh, no. Do you know what your mom’s favorite movie is? No, actually. Are you a role model to anybody? No fucking way I am. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? Somewhere around six or seven pounds. Look outside the nearest window. What can you see? From where I'm at, I can just see the shed. What are you interested in that most people would be surprised to know? Cutesy, pastel stuff, probably. How many bathrooms are in your house? Two. Do you prefer stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. Are you considered a very sensitive person? Very. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Yes. What’s the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside? It's hot as fuck outside. You will NOT see me outside today. What does your last text message say and who is it from? It's just a thumbs up emoji from the woman who works at my psychiatrist's office. She schedules my phone appointments with him. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. Why did you leave your last job? It was WAY too fast-paced with lots of responsibilities that I just couldn't handle. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? No, that's awful. What’s your favorite scent of air freshener? Probably something floral and subtle. Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi? Ugh. I pick my fingernails off badly, so they're a mess rn. I also DISDAIN my feet because they are horribly callused from when I used to walk like crazy. It's so weird how I can exfoliate the area and scrub (... and sometimes tear) them off, but they're pretty much immediately back. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play? A couple years ago with Girt and Sara, I think. We played Scrabble. How old were you when you first became sexually active? Do you mean like, doing anything sexual? In which case that would be 16. I woulda been 16 or 17 when I actually lost my virginity, though. Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce? A load of people. Does anyone not know somebody? Have you ever done a juice cleanse? No. Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in? No. That's a foreign concept here. It's one of the very alien things I experienced in Chicago; I don't really think I knew it was a thing (save for massive attractions, like Disney Word and stuff) before then. Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you? No. We live in a cul-de-sac, and our road is further into it, away from the main road.

[recentanimenews]

Made in Abyss: Dawn of the Deep Soul – Trials Make Love Stronger

I finished the first season of Made in Abyss three years and a week ago, commenting that while I ached to know what would happen next, a long rest was in order, so that I might recover from the emotional wounds throughout that first run, culminating in the shockingly brutal story of Mitty and Nanachi.

Turns out no amount of time would heal those wounds to the extent they wouldn’t be re-opened and—very soul freshly re-crushed—upon watching the continuation of the Abyss story. That’s because the deeper Riko, Reg, and Nanachi descend, the more acute and devastating the horrors they encounter.

This is the third of three Made in Abyss films; the first two were a retelling of the first season, while the third is a direct sequel As such, spoilers throughout.

Case in point: upon arriving at one of her mother’s favorite spots in all of the Abyss, the Garden of Flowers of Fortitude, they encounter one of Bondrewd’s delvers, the Umbra Hands, harvesting tissue from other delvers who have been infected by a parasite that not only feeds off you while you’re still alive, but feeds itself to you in order to keep you alive. Lovely!

Few anime do soaring vistas like Abyss, and there’s something just so otherworldly and dread-inducing about the sight of the Fifth Layer’s Sea of Corpses, along with Idofront, Bondrewd the Novel’s domain. But as cold and unyielding and inhospitable as the spinning ghost city seems on the outside, within resides one of the sweetest, warmest, most human souls they’ve yet encountered: an adorable little girl named Prushka.

Prushka is Bondrewd’s daughter (voiced by Minase Inori), who is initially suspicious of outsiders coming to help her dad when she thinks she should be enough. But once she meets Riko, Reg, and Nanachi, they open for her a whole new world of questions and information about the Surface (she was born in the Abyss).

It’s so strange to see Prushka acting so lovey-dovey with Bondrewd, perpetrator of countless acts of sickening biological crimes, especially since he and his Umbra Hands resemble evil robots. And yet that evil robot still has a strange gravitational pull Nanachi finds hard to resist. Nanachi can’t forgive Bondrewd, but something still draws them toward him. Nanachi was something of a child figure to him, after all, so Nanachi sees Prushka as a younger self.

Bondrewd has bad news for Riko: while she may have her mother’s White Whistle, only the person for whom the whistle was made can use it to activate the altar that will take her down to the Sixth Layer. He offers them accommodations to “think things over”, but there isn’t any doubt his intentions for them are about as far from harmless as they’re all far from the Surface.

Despite her cozy room, soon Riko wakes up alone, and upon exploring, finds that she’s trapped in a small area with the only exit being a stair Prushka warned will cause “strains of ascension” if climbed. When Riko attempts to climb them anyway, she loses all sense of touch and balance, grinds her baby molars away and falls down the stairs, gaining cuts here and there. But she hallucinates far worse: as the very concepts of what and where are gradually eaten away by white light.

Ultimately, the reason Bondrewd does anything all comes down to curiosity and the aspiration to reach the bottom of the Abyss and learn its infinite secrets, same as Riko. It’s just a matter of scope and scale. Riko has managed to retain her humanity throughout her descent. But while has the affable dad voice and general form of a man, there is simply nothing left of Bondrewd’s humanity.

After Nanachi offers to stay with him and help him continue his research in exchange for Riko and Reg’s safety, Bondrewd tells them that, uh, unfortunately, he’s already tossed Reg to his Umbra Hands, who restrain him, slice off his right arm (along with Incinerator) and start collecting his bodily fluids. That’s when Riko, who was helped up to the upper level by Prushka, intervenes, and Prushka learns the truth about her father for the first time.

With Bondrewd showing his true horrific colors loudly and proudly, Nanachi, the most experienced with how he operates, comes up with a plan to take him out. This involves luring him into a nest of giant seven-tailed scorpions, trying to infect him with parasite larvae, and finally Reg crushing his body with a giant boulder.

Naturally, Bondrewd praises both Reg and Nanachi every time they toss a new tactic at him, saying things like “wonderful” and “I’m surprised.” After all, Nanachi is one of the creations of which of which he is most proud, one who unlike Mitty and the others was able to receive the “Blessing” of the Abyss rather than fall victim to the Curse. You’d could mistake it for fatherly pride if, again, Bondrewd had a shred of humanity. But his willingness to offer love and pain and suffering in equal measure disqualifies him as both from being either a parent or a human.

None of the tactics against him end up working, because the Umbra Hand who escorted Prushka simply takes the mask off of the crushed Bondrewd and places it on his head, thus transforming into a new, untouched Bondrewd. Turns out all of his Umbra Hands are him—and his immortality is tied to a relic called Zoaholic. The fight ends for now, and Bondrewd returns home with Prushka.

If Zoaholic didn’t make Bondrewd insane, the act of splitting his soul and essence into multiple bodies still removed what was left of his empathy or humanity, which is why he ends up having Prushka cruelly vivisected just like all of the other orphan children before her. He’s satisfied her experiences with Reg, Riko, and Nanachi helped “perfect” her, and this is the natural next step. She is never told this would happen, and never asked if it’s okay.

Her body is marked with “X’s” to signify the parts that will be cut away and discarded (most of it) until all that is left is a mass of “fleshy curse repellant” to be placed within a suitcase-sized cartridge. It is in this way that Bondrewd staves off the curse; using the pain and suffering of still technically-living children as his strength.

It’s truly skin-crawling, horrible, horrible stuff, and even though I had a reasonable suspicion that Prushka was doomed to a Mitty-like fate, I was still not ready to see even a little of that fate carried out, nor would I ever be. No one would!

By the Riko, Reg, and Nanachi return to Idofront to rescue her they’re way too late, while the sight of the “processing” room brings back Nanachi’s memories of assisting with said processing. When Bondrewd arrives, Riko and Nanachi they buy time for Reg, who hooks himself up to Idofront’s power supply and ends up rebooting in Berserk Mode.

Bondrewd tells Riko that his own White Whistle is the result of sacrificing his own body and soul, and that all White Whistles are made in this way—with a willing human sacrifice, not carved stone.

It’s then when Berserk-Reg arrives and fights on the same level as Bondrewd, ultimately blasting a huge sphere-shaped chunk out of Idofront. He lands in a pit of Mittys—material for Bondrewd’s cartridges, and we’re reminded of all those lights on the wall representing their lives are labeled: he remembers the name of every child, their unique qualities, and how cute they were. Shudder…

As Bondrewd and Reg are locked in an epic battle, we hear Prushka’s disembodied voice as she recounts her life with Bondrewd, starting as a failed subject. He decided to raise her as his daughter, gave her Meinya as a pet, and gave her a fun and happy childhood, ultimately culminating in her helplessly watching as pieces of her are removed one by one on the operating table.

We hear Prushka because she’s now a cartridge that Bondrewd is currently using in his fight, and ends up being his last cartridge. Even after what he did to her, she still wants to help her dad achieve his dreams—even if it means helping him fight against Reg, Riko, and Nanachi.

Thus aided by Bondrewd, Reg can’t defeat him with one arm, which is why he was buying time for Riko to retrieve his other arm. Even disconnected from his body, she’s able to aim it at Bondrewd and fire it, blasting him to pieces.

As this is happening, Prushka pleads with everyone not to fight, because they’re all going to have adventures together. An image of that dream appears in the climax of the battle, and is pretty much the most heartbreaking goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.

Then Bondrewd falls to the ground, finally beaten, and Nanachi stand over him. True to form, Bondrewd isn’t bitter about losing; on the contrary: he’s never been happier to find someone with stronger aspirations, will, and love defeat him. It means they, not him, are worthy of exploring the greater depths of the Abyss, and all the curses and blessings therein.

Riko holds the spent cartridge of what’s left of Prushka, simply red liquid that spills everywhere, and very understandably begins to bawl in absolute despair. But then she notices an object lying in the puddle of liquid: a White Whistle. Turns out Prushka’s soul willingly became the sacrifice necessary for Riko. Now her dream of going on adventures together can be realized.

With that, Riko gains the means to make her Last Dive, along with Reg (who learned a great deal about what his relic body can do) and Nanachi (who found a degree of closure in her vendetta with Bondrewd). Bondrewd, oddly enough, is still alive (after a fashion), but no longer a threat to them, and indeed is happy to see them off as they enter the “elevator” that will take them to the Sixth Layer, that much closer to Riko’s Mom, whatever’s become of her.

Quite appropriately, the end credits pull double duty as an illustration of that elevator descending ever deeper  into the Abyss, accompanied by an achingly gorgeous song that is a collab between MYTH & ROID and Kevin Penkin. Penkin, of course, also contributed the score and outdoes himself in the task; his music has been and continues to be a vital piece of what makes Abyss so unique an special.

It doesn’t look like I’ll be able to end this in less than 1500 words, but whatever; this was basically four episodes of the anime comprising a Fifth Layer arc, enshrining Bondrewd the Novel as one of anime’s all-time most monstrous and compelling villains, exploring the ways ambition can mutate “love” into a heartlessly destructive force.

It also ably reinforced Abyss’ uncanny ability to tear its viewers’ hearts and souls to bloody shreds before painstakingly sewing them back together with delicate threads of hope. And with a second season in the early stages of production, the story of Riko, Reg, and Nanachi is far from over.

By: magicalchurlsukui

[clownhara]

I've been following you for a while but I dont know all that much about your OCs so how about a big resume of them all?? :DDD

I haven't really posted much about them on this account until recently so that doesn't really suprise me 😅 but yeah I absolutely can! Warning though this is going to be unbelievably long

I guess I should start off with Zensuke because he is THE gay purple cat. I named this blog after this guy. I made him when I was probably like 12-13 or around there so he had all the things you'd expect a repressed edgy kid's of to have. He was basically a demon who managed to get out of thier world's equivalent of hell and instead of doing anything evil he just made cake and got married to the guard who was supposed to kill him. I don't really do much with him anymore but I still love him very much.

Corbinian is probably the character I talk most about and he's the one I edit to fit into different worlds the most. He was a normal doctor but he got his memory wiped by robots and ended up working as an executioner for the robotic mafia, but eventually got caught and had to hide out in Lobotomy (he was originally a Lobotomy Corp oc) where he discovered he can extract abnormality dna and with some altering the dna can be injected into humans causing a variety of different mutations and effects. He's usually very heartless and manipulative, but does have a soft spot, usually for anxious, soft spoken people, who subconsciously remind him of his brother (who is a friends if so I can't really get into him). He also was given a variety of nicknames by the higher ups, like Corb, Corn chip, Corb on the Orb, or just Corn. Je

Corble is the result of Corb trying out human cloning. He has the same general appearance as Corbinian, but with purple hair (hence the name, because he's porble corb) that's styled differently. Since the experiment was technically a failure Corb was going to kill him, but Corble was really sweet and innocent and Corb basically went "well great guess I adopted my clone then". Corb stopped messing with cloning but adores Corble.

Might as well get all of my Lobotomy ocs out of the way. Oliver is the first Lobotomy oc I ever made, which is funny because I may or may not constantly forget that he exists. Oliver is basically a five year old kid in an adults body, and I mean that literally, because his parents basically locked him in a room and ignored him so his mental age is basically that of a kids. He's very mischievous and loves pulling pranks on people, most of which are harmless. Unless it's Corb, whom Oliver gates with a passion. Then it's thinly veiled murder attempts disgusted as pranks. He loves Fairy tales, and only works with fairy tale abnormalities because he panics with any other kind. Only one person in the entire facility can even put up with him, and that's Mabel.

Mabel is trans lesbian who can find the good in almost anyone. She's optimistic, bubbly, and has a great sense of humor. She tends to get really flustered around women though. Is it obvious I kinda projected onto her a bit? Because I did. If she wasn't in Lobotomy she'd definitely be a streamer. I'm just now realizing I basically made snapcube before I knew who that was. Whoops.

Up next is Adam! Adam is quiet, nervous, and honestly just prefers to not be noticed. Their ability to almost seamlessly blend into thier surroundings is astounding. Most people (me included) tend to just forget they exist. Which honestly is funny because they end up dating the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. Adam loves horror movies and spicy food.

Kieth is the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. He's the adopted son of a sephirah and the leader of the Rabbit team so that much is unavoidable. He's quick to anger, blunt, and tends to underestimate other people. However, he's also loyal to a fault, and willing to back his friends up no matter what. He feels like his mom's are expecting him to live up to expectations that he can't (and that they don't have but he doesn't realize that), so he's constantly throwing himself in harm's way to desperately try to prove to them that they made a good investment by adopting him or die trying. His two passions in life are collecting weapons and tending to rabbits, two of which he managed to train to sit on his shoulders and attack people. Despite being total opposites he loves Adam very much and will endure any horror movie with them, even if he's a huge scaredy cat.

Damien doesn't gave that much development, unfortunately. He came from a very religious household, moved out, and frequently gets possessed by an abnormality who makes him act like a cryptid. Totally normal stuff. He also went to law school.

Zephyr is a very, very serious individual. They've got a completely monotone color palette, speak either in short, blunt sentences or long, fanciful paragraphs with no in between, and tend to come off as cold and stiff. They're completely devoted to work, which is how they managed to become a captain. Despite this, they're very kind and caring, but unfortunately rarely get to show that side of themselves unless it's with Jamison, thier partner, both in crime and in the romantic sense. They also have a love/hate relationship with Owen, basically openly hating his guts but also enjoys thier banter and would hate if anything genuinely awful happened to them or his family.

Jamison is the complete opposite of Zephyr. He's an open book, very colorful, and tends to slack of when Zephyr isn't looking. Not on purpose, he just tends to get distracted most of the time. He's quite popular because he's very cheerful, which is rare in the higher ranks of Lobotomy. He'd absolutely die for Zephyr, and us usually the one who patches thier wounds. He really doesn't like Owen and thinks thier a pain in the ass, but keeps that to himself most of the time.

Owen is..... Interesting. I kinda went buck wild with him not gonna lie. He's one of the oldest son's of the God of Nightmares and Fire, an absolute agent of choas, and a campy fashion nightmare. But... I love them. They're both unbelievably obnoxious and also very caring. He's the kind of character you'd love but also hate at the same time. He also ended up becoming the God of Death in one timeline. If he wasn't God they'd probably run makeup guru/cursed amsr YouTube channel. Honestly he'd still run those as a God though. Also gender is a toy store and Owen is a kid who broke in after dark and is running along pushing all of the assorted genders into a cart while laughing maniacally (they use any pronouns but I stuck to just he/him they/them for this little snippet)

Alright, Lobotomy ocs done. Up next is.... Ugh... Octavious. He's originally a Danganronpa oc, the shsl gossip, and he was made to be a villian and by God does it show. He's the most fake, back stabbing, two faced character I've ever made. He's also the most one dimensional, which was actually intensional. He has no personality beyond being a petty, lying bitch, so when he runs out of lies and rumors to spread he goes into an existential crisis about how he has virtually no identity until he makes some new lie up about some random person. He's also abusive towards his younger sibling Aspyn, whom he has both physically and emotionally scarred. And, the icing on the "fuck this guy" cake, he's incredibly obsessive over his "wife" Melissa, who wants nothing to do with him and never even dated him, let alone married him. Basically he's a horrible, lying, abusive stalker. He also dresses exclusively in eye burn pink since the most poisonous bugs are usually brightly colored. Fuck Octavious, all my homies hate Octavious.

Next is Melissa, who honestly wasn't much better before her arc. She was raised to believe that in order to truely succeed in life, you have to ensure others fail. She, unfortunately, took that advice to heart. Get arc consisted of learning that we all can succeed together and that actively fucking other people over just made her an awful person, so she changed her behavior and tried to help people from then on out. She's incredibly meticulous, organized, and really smart. She still has issues trusting, but she's getting better. She has a crush on Octavious's younger sibling, but absolutely despises Octavious.

Aspyn is a quiet, caring individual who has no confidence both due to Octavious and just how they were raised. They are an incredibly skilled doctor, however, managing to perform amazingly in several different fields. They are, however, very defensive about thier passions, quick to insult anyone who questions them, mainly due to Octavious. They have a huge crush Melissa, but is to afraid to ask her out. Also they wear an eye patch because Octavious messed up one of thier eyes.

Hooo boy where to start with Edward. He's really inconsistent between universes, but the main constants are his power (he can trade bodies with people), him and Max getting together, him being a huge bookworm, and somehow he usually ends up being my self inserts dad???? Hos other aspects tend to change. Sometimes he's a power hungry megalomaniac who's trying to take over the world and will crush anyone and everyone who gets in his way or isn't useful to him, using his power evily to stay young forever by trading bodies with his kids and killing them when they're in his body. Other times, he's a fairly calm, if not a little cold, man whos biggest crime is the occasional tax evasion, who's power is more of a curse, causing him to stay alive forever through a series of unfortunate coincidences. Either way he's fun to write

Max is one of my favorite characters. He loves baking, his friends and family, he isn't too bright but no one holds that against him. Unfortunately, no matter which side of Edward it is, he's hopelessly in love with him, which can lead to his downfall. He's very protective of his cousin Heron, and tries to protect the innocent, which he usually doesn't end up doing thanks to evil Edwards manipulation. I also somehow failed to mention he's a plant man and flowers sprout wherever he walks and he can control plants but I couldn't find a good way to fit that in naturally.

Heron is half a plant man, in the worst possible way. He has rose vines instead of blood, which feels exactly how you think it would. Magic keeps his alive luckily, but it's unbelievably painful. Most of him and Max's family died when they were young, and unlike Mac who ended up on the streets, Heron ended up in an orphanage, where he learned at a young age that he shouldn't get close to anyone because if he does, they'd die. He genuinely believes that, and the only person he thinks is immune, is his cousin Max, who he even still expects to drop dead. Heron mainly fights by breaking his skin so his vines will grow rapidly and trap and kill his attacker, which looking back is uh. Kinda symbolic. I didn't do that on purpose but it fits

Eden is an angel, who was outcasted from heaven after being framed for a crime they didn't commit. They don't understand how humans work, but is trying thier best to fit in. He's one of the few beings Heron trusts, and even still Heron doesn't trust them much because of Eden's ability, being able to control holy flames. Eden is stoic and aloof, with an odd sense of humor. He insists that him baking using his holy flames is a form of training. Despite them claiming to be above human emotions, they very much are not above them and he is actually quite emotional.

Avocado is one of Herons old friends, who fell victim to Herons "luck" (aka they died). They are a drider (basically spider centaur) who came from a large family of drider thieves. They are very quiet and kind, which they use to thier advantage, since one would thing they'd steal small objects from people's houses or pickpocket them, which Avocado very much does. While they're fairly weak in combat thier thieving skills are not to be underestimated.

Grape is Avocados older sibling, and they are very serious and quite rude. Grape wants to kill Heron to avenge thier sibling, but ends up getting caught robbing the wrong person and ends up having to join the person's kids adventuring party.

Apple is the oldest drider sibling, and ends up taking a motherly role for all of the younger kids. They had to grow up incredibly fast, and has to make all of the hard decisions in place of thier dying father. Desperately needs a break.

There's more spider siblings but there isn't much info on them

Both Sherry and Theodore Poser are mainly just there because I have them really fun designs and don't really have a personality. Sherry's kinda hard to draw though

[serenagaywaterford]

you are so right about the fandom being desperate for men to woobify i remember on reddit there was a thread where someone was like 'idc about the women i want to know more about the men. i wanna know why they're okay with gilead and what's going on in their heads' and it's like ????? have you??? met men??? and there's this sentiment that the show is too harsh on men and makes them too evil and that there should be at least one good unicorn man it's so infuriating

i’m crying cos this ask is so on point and sums up my own take so perfectly.

“it’s like ????? have you??? met men???”

this is like exactly everything. men aren’t some fucking mystery. we’ve got 700 million versions of their stories in media and HISTORY, and what’s in their heads and why they do what they do and boo hoo all their manpain sobstories.

i’ll say it again and i’ll say it forever:

I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT MEN.

I DON’T CARE ABOUT THEIR STORIES.

I DON’T CARE ABOUT THEIR PRECIOUS FWEEWINGS.

I DON’T CARE WHY THEY WENT ALONG WITH GILEAD OR HOW THEY FEEL OR WHAT THEY WANT OR HOW THEY’RE COPING OR LITERALLY ANYTHING ABOUT THEM EVER.

I DON’T CARE ABOUT FRED OR LAWRENCE OR NICK OR LUKE OR ISAAC OR WINSLOW OR TUELLO OR WHOMEVER ELSE THT WANTS TO SHOVE DOWN OUR THROATS.

THT SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT MEN EVER.

“there’s this sentiment that the show is too harsh on men and makes them too evil and that there should be at least one good unicorn man it’s so infuriating”

this just makes me want to vomit. sure, i’m sure there are some not so horrible men. OBVIOUSLY there are men who are victims of gilead. obviously there are some decent men in gilead who wish things were different. but ALL men, every last one of them in gilead, is in a position of privileged and power just one the sheer basis of their fundamental biology and being MEN. even gay men, even black men, even poor men, even disabled men, even men of different faiths. every last one of them is better off than ANY woman. better off than even the most privileged wife, better off than the aunts, and absolutely unarguably better off than any martha, handmaid, econowife, female child, etc. all of whom are actively, brutally, and violently oppressed every single second. and every single male character that has a large enough chunk of attention and screentime is DEFINITELY NOT that special unicorn man. they are ALL HORRIBLE. there is nothing interesting about fred, nick, or lawrence. cos we’ve heard their stories a million times before. (except tuello i suppose cos he’s not actually in gilead and is trying to get people out and bring it down. which is literally the bare minimum men should be doing considering.)

i’d argue the show isn’t HARSH ENOUGH on the men. they’re on some fucking infuriating crusade to humanize every single one of the main male characters. and i literally don’t care. they’re pondscum. i’m so bored of giving them wubbie little feeelings. blah. especially fred i hate him the most.

you know, i can see why people fall for it when it comes to nick. he’s just so pointless and boring taht he seems harmless and ~nice. but what is this fucking obsession with trying to make anybody feel ANYTHING for FRED or LAWRENCE? literal high ranking commanders who are directly and personally responsible for gilead and have shown little to no concern whatsoever before magic june swanned into everyone’s consciousness. (fred still doesn’t give a shit; he just wants his perverse rapeslave arrangement back. but somehow lawrence is on some guilt-bender and poor him he’s really such a good guy deep down cos he made mixtapes (WHO DIDN’T) and likes fancy art and locks his wife in a room “for her own protection”, ughhhhhh.)

i just can’t.

i can’t.

but god forbid you suggest serena maybe has something else going on beyond “she’s a crazy ass psycho bitch”. 

how you can literally turn on this show and say that you don’t care about the women and just wanna hear more about the men is fuckign bonkers to me. please let me ascend from this hell on earth, oh lord above.

[absolxguardian]

‘You’re not listening,’ he whispered. ‘I’ve been speaking to you all my life and all I’ve heard back is silence. Where are you? Are you out there among the stars? Is that it? Busy making another world, perhaps, because you’re sick of this one? You’ve gone away, haven’t you, you’ve abandoned us.

‘You’re making a liar out of me, you realise that. I don’t want to tell lies. I try to tell the truth. But I tell them you’re a loving father watching over them all, and you’re not; you’re blind as well as deaf, as far as I can tell. You can’t see, or you just don’t want to look? Which is it? 

‘No answer. Not interested. 

‘If you were listening, you’d know what I meant by truth. I’m not one of these logic-choppers, these fastidious philosophers, with their scented Greek rubbish about a pure world of spiritual forms where everything is perfect, and which is the only place where the real truth is, unlike this filthy material world which is corrupt and gross and full of untruth and imperfection . . . Have you heard them? Stupid question. You’re not interested in slander either. 

‘And slander’s what it is; you made this world, and it’s lovely, every inch of it. When I think of the things I’ve loved I find myself choking with happiness, or maybe sorrow, I don’t know; and every one of them has been something in this world that you made. If anyone can smell frying fish on an evening by the lake, or feel a cool breeze on a hot day, or see a little animal trying to run around and tumbling over and getting up again, or kiss a pair of soft and willing lips, if anyone can feel those things and still maintain they’re nothing but crude imperfect copies of something much better in another world, they are slandering you, Lord, as surely as words mean anything at all. But then they don’t think words do mean anything; they’re just tokens to play sophisticated games with. Truth is this, and truth is that, and what is truth anyway, and on and on they go, these bloodless phantoms. 

‘The psalm says “The fool has said in his heart, There is no God.” Well, I understand that fool. You treated him as you’re treating me, didn’t you? If that makes me a fool, I’m one with all the fools you made. I love that fool, even if you don’t. The poor sod whispered to you night after night, and heard nothing in response. Even Job, for all the trouble he had, got an answer from you. But the fool and I might as well be talking into an empty pot, except that even an empty pot makes a sound like the wind, if you hold it over your ear. That’s an answer of sorts. 

‘Is that what you’re saying to me? That when I hear the wind, I hear your voice? When I look at the stars I see your writing, or in the bark of a tree, or the ripples on the sand at the edge of the water? Lovely things, yes, all of them, no doubt about that, but why did you make them so hard to read? Who can translate them for us? You conceal yourself in enigmas and riddles. Can I believe that the Lord God would behave like one of those philosophers and say things in order to baffle and confuse? No, I can’t believe it. Why do you treat your people like this? The God who made water to be clear and sweet and fresh wouldn’t fill it with mud before giving it to his children to drink. So, what’s the answer? These things are full of your words, and we just have to persevere till we can read them? Or they’re blank and meaningless? Which is it?

‘No answer, naturally. Listen to that silence. Not a breath of wind; the little insects scratching away in the grasses; Peter snoring over there under the olives; a dog barking on some farm out behind me in the hills; an owl down in the valley; and the infinite silence under it all. You’re not in the sounds, are you. There might be some help in that. I love those little insects. That’s a good dog out there; he’s trustworthy; he’d die to look after the farm. The owl is beautiful and cares for her young. Even Peter’s full of kindness, for all the noise and the bluster. If I thought you were in those sounds, I could love you with all my heart, even if those were the only sounds you made. But you’re in the silence. You say nothing. 

‘God, is there any difference between saying that and saying you’re not there at all? I can imagine some philosophical smartarse of a priest in years to come pulling the wool over his poor followers’ eyes: “God’s great absence is, of course, the very sign of his presence”, or some such drivel. The people will hear his words, and think how clever he is to say such things, and they’ll try and believe it; and they’ll go home puzzled and hungry, because it makes no sense at all. That priest is worse than the fool in the psalm, who at least is an honest man. When the fool prays to you and gets no answer, he decides that God’s great absence means he’s not bloody well there. 

‘What am I going to tell the people tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that? Am I going to go on telling them things I can’t believe? My heart will grow weary of it; my belly will churn with sickness; my mouth will be full of ash and my throat will burn with gall. There’ll come a day when I’ll say to some poor leper that his sins are forgiven and his sores will heal and he’ll say “But they’re as bad as they ever were. Where is this healing you promised?” 

‘And the Kingdom . . . 

‘Have I been deluding myself as well as everyone else? What have I been doing, telling them that it’s going to come, that there are people alive now who will see the coming of God’s Kingdom? I can see us waiting, and waiting, and waiting . . . Was my brother right when he talked of this great organisation, this church of his that was going to serve as the vehicle for the Kingdom on earth? No, he was wrong, he was wrong. My whole heart and mind and body revolted against that. They still do. 

‘Because I can see just what would happen if that kind of thing came about. The devil would rub his hands with glee. As soon as men who believe they’re doing God’s will get hold of power, whether it’s in a household or a village or in Jerusalem or in Rome itself, the devil enters into them. It isn’t long before they start drawing up lists of punishments for all kinds of innocent activities, sentencing people to be flogged or stoned in the name of God for wearing this or eating that or believing the other. And the privileged ones will build great palaces and temples to strut around in, and levy taxes on the poor to pay for their luxuries; and they’ll start keeping the very scriptures secret, saying there are some truths too holy to be revealed to the ordinary people, so that only the priests’ interpretation will be allowed, and they’ll torture and kill anyone who wants to make the word of God clear and plain to all; and with every day that passes they’ll become more and more fearful, because the more power they have the less they’ll trust anyone, so they’ll have spies and betrayals and denunciations and secret tribunals, and put the poor harmless heretics they flush out to horrible public deaths, to terrify the rest into obedience.

‘And from time to time, to distract the people from their miseries and fire them with anger against someone else, the governors of this church will declare that such-and-such a nation or such-and-such a people is evil and ought to be destroyed, and they’ll gather great armies and set off to kill and burn and loot and rape and plunder, and they’ll raise their standard over the smoking ruins of what was once a fair and prosperous land and declare that God’s Kingdom is so much the larger and more magnificent as a result.

‘But any priest who wants to indulge his secret appetites, his greed, his lust, his cruelty, will find himself like a wolf in a field of lambs where the shepherd is bound and gagged and blinded. No one will even think of questioning the rightness of what this holy man does in private; and his little victims will cry to heaven for pity, and their tears will wet his hands, and he’ll wipe them on his robe and press them together piously and cast his eyes upwards and the people will say what a fine thing it is to have such a holy man as priest, how well he takes care of the children . . .

‘And where will you be? Will you look down and strike these blaspheming serpents with a thunderbolt? Will you strike the governors off their thrones and smash their palaces to rubble? 

‘To ask the question and wait for the answer is to know that there will be no answer.

‘Lord, if I thought you were listening, I’d pray for this above all: that any church set up in your name should remain poor, and powerless, and modest. That it should wield no authority except that of love. That it should never cast anyone out. That it should own no property and make no laws. That it should not condemn, but only forgive. That it should be not like a palace with marble walls and polished floors, and guards standing at the door, but like a tree with its roots deep in the soil, that shelters every kind of bird and beast and gives blossom in the spring and shade in the hot sun and fruit in the season, and in time gives up its good sound wood for the carpenter; but that sheds many thousands of seeds so that new trees can grow in its place. Does the tree say to the sparrow “Get out, you don’t belong here?” Does the tree say to the hungry man “This fruit is not for you?” Does the tree test the loyalty of the beasts before it allows them into the shade?

‘This is all I can do now, whisper into the silence. How much longer will I even feel like doing that? You’re not there. You’ve never heard me. I’d do better to talk to a tree, to talk to a dog, an owl, a little grasshopper. They’ll always be there. I’m with the fool in the psalm. You thought we could get on without you; no – you didn’t care whether we got on without you or not. You just got up and left. So that’s what we’re doing, we’re getting on. I’m part of the world, and I love every grain of sand and blade of grass and drop of blood in it. There might as well not be anything else, because these things are enough to gladden the heart and calm the spirit; and we know they delight the body. Body and spirit . . . is there a difference? Where does one end and the other begin? Aren’t they the same thing? 

‘From time to time we’ll remember you, like a grandfather who was loved once, but who has died, and we’ll tell stories about you; and we’ll feed the lambs and reap the corn and press the wine, and sit under the tree in the cool of the evening, and welcome the stranger and look after the children, and nurse the sick and comfort the dying, and then lie down when our time comes, without a pang, without a fear, and go back to the earth. 

‘And let the silence talk to itself . . .’ 

Jesus stopped. There was nothing else he wanted to say.

-The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ by Philip Pullman

[twitchesandstitches]

A young heroine, so inexperienced her breasts were barely bigger than her entire upper torso, timidly raised a hand that was a complicated fusion of tentacles, claw bits, and a giant cybernetic piston-cannon. “I have a question regarding the Paragon Code.”

Terezi Pyrope, Marshall enforcing the code and acting as internal affairs for the Fleet in this particular area, waved a cane at her lazily. “Go on, kid. What’s the question?”

The heroine gulped. “Um. I’ve been fighting with a villain-type and I keep feeling these weird romance-y feelings. Like, I want to kiss them, maybe... and date them, when we’re not fighting or there’s a conflict going on...?”

Terezi nodded. Ah. She knew about this sort of thing.

“And...” the heroine said heisitantly. “I wanted to know what the Code has to say about this...?”

Terezi took the Code and popped it into her mouth, chewing throughtfully. Possibly so she could read it, and just as possibly to see if she could freak out the heroine. To her credit, the young initiate didn’t even blink. “Hrm, okay there’s some thoughts about this, so the important question is: how evil is the villain you’re having flirty thoughts about?”

The heroine considered and raised her hand up and down. “Hrm. She could go worse OR be better? She’s just robbed a few places, high-jacked a moon this one time. She hasn’t killed anyone or partaken in any crimes, but I feel that maybe it’s just sheer luck that no one’s died, or worse. Like I feel that she might not care if someone does get hurt...”

Terezi’s expression grew uncharacteristically grim. “Kid. Listen to me here and now. Okay?”

She got a fearful nod.

“If the villain is harmless, doing no real damage and not actually getting people hurt, than there’s no issue. Sure, there might be moral issues involved but, as long as you’re not actively aiding them, the crime is on them, and not you. Flirt all you want, and maybe push them away from the bad guy life.

“But if they are hurting people... if someone dies because of them, if they kill someone or take them into captivity, or set off a war? And if they don’t give a damn about the suffering they cause as long as they get something out of it, or they enjoy the pain they cause... that is another thing altogether.”

She poitned a claw urgently at the heroine. “It’s your duty as a hero to stop them. At all costs. You make sure they never, EVER do something like that again. Remember: you being there is supposed to make everyone glad and reassured, that all the suffering is about to stop. You make bad things stop happening. That is what heroes are for.”

The heroine nodded, more confidently. “Yes, ma’am.”

“And if that villain is really, genuinely bad, you cannot hold back. You don’t act on those romantic feelings, and you don’t let them just walk away after hurting people. Your decision.” She looked serious now. “Gut them like a fish, if they’re gone bad enough. Digest them, even if you’ll spit them out later. WHatever it is, you put them down hard, and you stop them from making it worse.”

Terezi sighed. “Look, having sexual or romantic feelings for someone isn’t a violation. But it is a violation to let those feelings win if that person is going to be genuinely evil. If people get hurt, or worse, because you decided that getting to be romantic with someone you know is a genuinely bad person was more important than keeping them from doing harm... well, than anything they do from there on out CAN be considered your fault.”

The heroine looked very grim. “...Yes, of course.”

“So ask yourself, ‘what kind of hero can look at someone who does horrible things and think that she’d still rather flirt, knowing what that person has done and what they’re GOING to do?’”

The answer, the heroine knew, was that there really wasn’t any option at all.

You stopped them. Non-fatally, if you could. But you stopped them no matter what.

No real hero would ever dare put their sexual desires over saving the day. Villains prioritized selfishness over the lives of others.

[tak4hir0]

Five Geek Social Fallacies Within the constellation of allied hobbies and subcultures collectively known as geekdom, one finds many social groups bent under a crushing burden of dysfunction, social drama, and general interpersonal wack-ness. It is my opinion that many of these never-ending crises are sparked off by an assortment of pernicious social fallacies -- ideas about human interaction which spur their holders to do terrible and stupid things to themselves and to each other. Social fallacies are particularly insidious because they tend to be exaggerated versions of notions that are themselves entirely reasonable and unobjectionable. It's difficult to debunk the pathological fallacy without seeming to argue against its reasonable form; therefore, once it establishes itself, a social fallacy is extremely difficult to dislodge. It's my hope that drawing attention to some of them may be a step in the right direction. I want to note that I'm not trying to say that every geek subscribes to every one of the fallacies I outline here; every individual subscribes to a different set of ideas, and adheres to any given idea with a different amount of zeal. In any event, here are five geek social fallacies I've identified. There are likely more. Geek Social Fallacy #1: Ostracizers Are Evil GSF1 is one of the most common fallacies, and one of the most deeply held. Many geeks have had horrible, humiliating, and formative experiences with ostracism, and the notion of being on the other side of the transaction is repugnant to them. In its non-pathological form, GSF1 is benign, and even commendable: it is long past time we all grew up and stopped with the junior high popularity games. However, in its pathological form, GSF1 prevents its carrier from participating in -- or tolerating -- the exclusion of anyone from anything, be it a party, a comic book store, or a web forum, and no matter how obnoxious, offensive, or aromatic the prospective excludee may be. As a result, nearly every geek social group of significant size has at least one member that 80% of the members hate, and the remaining 20% merely tolerate. If GSF1 exists in sufficient concentration -- and it usually does -- it is impossible to expel a person who actively detracts from every social event. GSF1 protocol permits you not to invite someone you don't like to a given event, but if someone spills the beans and our hypothetical Cat Piss Man invites himself, there is no recourse. You must put up with him, or you will be an Evil Ostracizer and might as well go out for the football team. This phenomenon has a number of unpleasant consequences. For one thing, it actively hinders the wider acceptance of geek-related activities: I don't know that RPGs and comics would be more popular if there were fewer trolls who smell of cheese hassling the new blood, but I'm sure it couldn't hurt. For another, when nothing smacking of social selectiveness can be discussed in public, people inevitably begin to organize activities in secret. These conspiracies often lead to more problems down the line, and the end result is as juvenile as anything a seventh-grader ever dreamed of. Geek Social Fallacy #2: Friends Accept Me As I Am The origins of GSF2 are closely allied to the origins of GSF1. After being victimized by social exclusion, many geeks experience their "tribe" as a non-judgmental haven where they can take refuge from the cruel world outside. This seems straightforward and reasonable. It's important for people to have a space where they feel safe and accepted. Ideally, everyone's social group would be a safe haven. When people who rely too heavily upon that refuge feel insecure in that haven, however, a commendable ideal mutates into its pathological form, GSF2. Carriers of GSF2 believe that since a friend accepts them as they are, anyone who criticizes them is not their friend. Thus, they can't take criticism from friends -- criticism is experienced as a treacherous betrayal of the friendship, no matter how inappropriate the criticized behavior may be. Conversely, most carriers will never criticize a friend under any circumstances; the duty to be supportive trumps any impulse to point out unacceptable behavior. GSF2 has extensive consequences within a group. Its presence in substantial quantity within a social group vastly increases the group's conflict-averseness. People spend hours debating how to deal with conflicts, because they know (or sometimes merely fear) that the other person involved is a GSF2 carrier, and any attempt to confront them directly will only make things worse. As a result, people let grudges brew much longer than is healthy, and they spend absurd amounts of time deconstructing their interpersonal dramas in search of a back way out of a dilemma. Ironically, GSF2 carriers often take criticism from coworkers, supervisors, and mentors quite well; those individuals aren't friends, and aren't expected to accept the carrier unconditionally. Geek Social Fallacy #3: Friendship Before All Valuing friendships is a fine and worthy thing. When taken to an unhealthy extreme, however, GSF3 can manifest itself. Like GSF2, GSF3 is a "friendship test" fallacy: in this case, the carrier believes that any failure by a friend to put the interests of the friendship above all else means that they aren't really a friend at all. It should be obvious that there are a million ways that this can be a problem for the carrier's friends, but the most common one is a situation where friends' interests conflict -- if, for example, one friend asks you to keep a secret from another friend. If both friends are GSF3 carriers, you're screwed -- the first one will feel betrayed if you reveal the secret, and the other will feel betrayed if you don't. Your only hope is to keep the second friend from finding out, which is difficult if the secret in question was a party that a lot of people went to. GSF3 can be costly for the carrier as well. They often sacrifice work, family, and romantic obligations at the altar of friendship. In the end, the carrier has a great circle of friends, but not a lot else to show for their life. This is one reason why so many geek circles include people whose sole redeeming quality is loyalty: it's hard not to honor someone who goes to such lengths to be there for a friend, however destructive they may be in other respects. Individual carriers sometimes have exceptions to GSF3, which allow friends to place a certain protected class of people or things above friendship in a pinch: "significant others" is a common protected class, as is "work". Geek Social Fallacy #4: Friendship Is Transitive Every carrier of GSF4 has, at some point, said: "Wouldn't it be great to get all my groups of friends into one place for one big happy party?!" If you groaned at that last paragraph, you may be a recovering GSF4 carrier. GSF4 is the belief that any two of your friends ought to be friends with each other, and if they're not, something is Very Wrong. The milder form of GSF4 merely prevents the carrier from perceiving evidence to contradict it; a carrier will refuse to comprehend that two of their friends (or two groups of friends) don't much care for each other, and will continue to try to bring them together at social events. They may even maintain that a full-scale vendetta is just a misunderstanding between friends that could easily be resolved if the principals would just sit down to talk it out. A more serious form of GSF4 becomes another "friendship test" fallacy: if you have a friend A, and a friend B, but A & B are not friends, then one of them must not really be your friend at all. It is surprisingly common for a carrier, when faced with two friends who don't get along, to simply drop one of them. On the other side of the equation, a carrier who doesn't like a friend of a friend will often get very passive-aggressive and covertly hostile to the friend of a friend, while vigorously maintaining that we're one big happy family and everyone is friends. GSF4 can also lead carriers to make inappropriate requests of people they barely know -- asking a friend's roommate's ex if they can crash on their couch, asking a college acquaintance from eight years ago for a letter of recommendation at their workplace, and so on. If something is appropriate to ask of a friend, it's appropriate to ask of a friend of a friend. Arguably, Friendster was designed by a GSF4 carrier. Geek Social Fallacy #5: Friends Do Everything Together GSF5, put simply, maintains that every friend in a circle should be included in every activity to the full extent possible. This is subtly different from GSF1; GSF1 requires that no one, friend or not, be excluded, while GSF5 requires that every friend be invited. This means that to a GSF5 carrier, not being invited to something is intrinsically a snub, and will be responded to as such. This is perhaps the least destructive of the five, being at worst inconvenient. In a small circle, this is incestuous but basically harmless. In larger groups, it can make certain social events very difficult: parties which are way too large for their spaces and restaurant expeditions that include twenty people and no reservation are far from unusual. When everyone in a group is a GSF5 carrier, this isn't really a problem. If, however, there are members who aren't carriers, they may want occasionally to have smaller outings, and these can be hard to arrange without causing hurt feelings and social drama. It's hard to explain to a GSF5 carrier that just because you only wanted to have dinner with five other people tonight, it doesn't mean that your friendship is in terrible danger. For some reason, many GSF5 carriers are willing to make an exception for gender-segregated events. I don't know why. Interactions Each fallacy has its own set of unfortunate consequences, but frequently they become worse in interaction. GSF4 often develops into its more extreme form when paired with GSF5; if everyone does everything together, it's much harder to maintain two friends who don't get along. One will usually fall by the wayside. Similarly, GSF1 and GSF5 can combine regrettably: when a failure to invite someone is equivalent to excluding them, you can't even get away with not inviting Captain Halitosis along on the road trip. GSF3 can combine disastrously with the other "friendship test" fallacies; carriers may insist that their friends join them in snubbing someone who fails the test, which occasionally leads to a chain reaction which causes the carrier to eventually reject all of their friends. This is not healthy; fortunately, severe versions of GSF3 are rare. Consequences Dealing with the effects of social fallacies is an essential part of managing one's social life among geeks, and this is much easier when one is aware of them and can identify which of your friends carry which fallacies. In the absence of this kind of awareness, three situations tend to arise when people come into contact with fallacies they don't hold themselves. Most common is simple conflict and hurt feelings. It's hard for people to talk through these conflicts because they usually stem from fairly primal value clashes; a GSF3 carrier may not even be able to articulate why it was such a big deal that their non-carrier friend blew off their movie night. Alternately, people often take on fallacies that are dominant in their social circle. If you join a group of GSF5 carriers, doing everything together is going to become a habit; if you spend enough time around GSF1 carriers, putting up with trolls is going to seem normal. Less commonly, people form a sort of counter-fallacy which I call "Your Feelings, Your Problem". YFYP carriers deal with other people's fallacies by ignoring them entirely, in the process acquiring a reputation for being charmingly tactless. Carriers tend to receive a sort of exemption from the usual standards: "that's just Dana", and so on. YFYP has its own problems, but if you would rather be an asshole than angstful, it may be the way to go. It's also remarkably easy to pull off in a GSF1-rich environment. What Can I Do? As I've said, I think that the best way to deal with social fallacies is to be aware of them, in yourself and in others. In yourself, you can try to deal with them; in others, understanding their behavior usually makes it less aggravating. Social fallacies don't make someone a bad person; on the contrary, they usually spring from the purest motives. But I believe they are worth deconstructing; in the long run, social fallacies cost a lot of stress and drama, to no real benefit. You can be tolerant without being indiscriminate, and you can be loyal to friends without being compulsive about it. Hey, Are You Talking About Me? If I know you, yeah, probably I am. It doesn't mean I don't love you; most of us carry a few fallacies. Myself, I struggle with GSF 1 and 2, and I used to have a bad case of 4 until a series of disastrous parties dispelled it. I haven't used any examples that refer to specific situations, if it has you worried. Any resemblances to geeks living or dead are coincidental.

[citrus-feline]

I'm kind of sick of people saying hate shouldn't be fought with hate anymore at this point. I agree to a degree, but when said initial hate is killing people? That's when it's too fucking much. Like. WAY too much. Being tolerant does not mean being blind. The "punch a Nazi" thing? It's good. You know why? Because these people are going out of their way to harm others. Even if they don't hurt someone by their own hands, their ideals being allowed to get spewed without filter affects other people and eventually someone will act on those ideals built on violence. Someone was fucking killed. And it's only going to get worse if we keep letting Nazis get away with doing this shit. Their ideals aren't simply just "extreme", they are detrimental to society as a whole. Their ideals come from wanting to hurt other people, and that means that the more widespread it is, the more hurt people will get. The "punch a Nazi" thing is NOT hurting harmless people without cause. It is about hurting people who actively endorse KILLING other people. It's not a careless attack on things we don't agree with. It is fucking self defense, if not for ourselves, for our community. I'm not going to just let Jewish people get thrown under the bus like this. I'm not going to sit idly while innocent people are being killed because I'm "just as bad" if I try to defend said innocence. Nazis are not innocent!!! They want genocide! Just fucking think about that! Nazism is built on the core belief of thinking that society needs to be purged of "lesser" people. It is LITERALLY all about genocide. You can't ignore the fucking genocidal intentions in an effort for free speech. "Free speech" has it's fucking limits! When your "freedom to speak" threatens others? It's not fucking okay. How the fuck am I just as bad for wanting to put these people in their place? I want to do this not simply out of "hmm I will silence anyone who doesn't agree with me!!", it is not that innocent. They aren't innocent. They want people to die. And say what you will about extreme left stuff like anti-fa, but the core of those beliefs? Is to protect people from shit that goes out of it's way to try to kill us. That is the core message. To protect people who need help protecting. Nazism is about killing people who need protection out of an evil outlook of "these people don't like it? Then they die". Why the FUCK should we tolerate them when they not only don't tolerate us, they want to KILL us?! I'm fucking part of this, believe it or not! Mentally ill people are on their PUBLICLY KNOWN HIT LIST and oh Jesus fucking Christ don't I have a right to defend myself and people like me? Wouldn't it realistically make me worse if I just let this happen? Why am I being told to let this happen? Because the people who say that will barely be affected if at all. It's the bliss of ignorance due to being spared as a target. You see us fighting back as an overreaction because you are not personally being targeted. It's like politics in general, we ALL want them to disappear for a bit, but for some of us, we can't do that. We can't make it go away because said things being debated are our rights to live. I get it, you don't see it as that bad, but we do. And I'm not even getting most of it. I'm lucky that my identity isn't all on their checklist of "people who need to die", but some of it still is there. I am allowed to defend myself and the people around me. When people try to kill us, we are NOT going to just let it happen. I am a soft, understanding girl who tries really hard to look at everything from everyone's point of view. And yet my verdict on literal Nazis? They don't deserve that. They are fucking disgusting people who care only about themselves and have zero interest in anyone else. They openly take advantage of our tolerance and use it against us. And when we start to finally speak up? We're thrown to the wolves again. I just. I don't fucking want innocent people to die. Is that fair? Is that okay? Nazis kill because they don't want to deal with the "burden" of us "lesser people". And uh, buddy? That is incredibly fucked up. Like... You gonna kill your own child if they come out to you? Or even talk about the possibility of mental illness to you? What about an interest in different religions? What the fuck then? Does your purge of society continue when it's people you love? Fuck, yeah, in all extensive purposes, I AM a burden to society. But does that mean I should die? FUCK NO. Everyone has the fucking right to live. I'm not saying "hey kill everyone who disagrees with you" (yknow, like the Nazis), I'm saying "we have the right to fight back against this". These people deserve to be in jail. If some of them can learn of errors of their ways, that is a win. But when we are having our literal lives threatened, it's hard to believe that they are CAPABLE of being good people. I always give people chances. Always. But that doesn't mean I let this shit go. Chances doesn't mean acting like it never happened and everything is okay. It's "hey you did something really fucking bad, and I'm giving you time to decide if you think it was bad or not. If you think the horrible thing you did was okay even after time alone (which may be MONTHS or even YEARS of self inspection), your chance to better yourself was wasted. And you should realize that after all that time. When your ideals result in the death of others, you have to think about what the fuck this all means. If you are okay with people being murdered, why? Why is that okay? Question that. And if you come up with "nah it's fine" then uh... Maybe? Isolate yourself from society? Take your shitty unmoving opinions and move to a fucking island. Chances are "here's a chance to change" not "mmm well it's okay because I'm a nice person and you get infinite excuses because of that". There is a fucking line, always. It is actively being crossed. And yet I'm being told that I shouldn't acknowledge that? When my safety and that of those around me is obviously being endangered? When someone who was peacefully protesting a march that called for the death of some people died? This has gone on too long and I could probably go for a while longer cuz I'm just so mad but whatever. Don't send me death threats about this.