#But since I literally am on vacation and I’ve still not had time to edit the chapter

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

Yesterday was super busy since it was the day I got on the ship and I was not feeling great, so I forgot an important day.

Anyway…

Happy belated birthday Mondo Owada, you crazy kid, you.

[carry-on-my-wayward-boi]

The girl in the pool

There’s something haunting about water in open spaces.

I didn’t always think like this, I used to go to be beach rarely, and every time my family took me there, I cherished it immensely. I consider myself very lucky, I still love going to lakes or beaches (haven’t gone to a river yet, one swimmable, but I guess I would like it too), and the only sport I really imagine myself sticking with in the long term is swimming.

I go swimming every two days now, after a period of solitary confinement, I’m starting to make myself understand that I need to take care of the shape of my body, apart from the self-esteem issues, for the health problems it has been causing me for a year now.

And I’m only 19.

I don’t want to die yet, even if sometimes it seems the only sane option, I’m not that far in the line.

But I go to the pool 3 times a week now, in the last hours of the day, good thing it’s only 15 minutes from my house. And it is so expensive, how I hadn’t realized this when I was younger? I was so naïve, and honestly, I still am don’t let the occasional stream of fancy thoughts convince you otherwise,

I literally don’t know a single thing.

Sometimes it’s a relief the teacher knows me since I was 14, some days it’s tiring to pretend I’m the person I once was, when I didn’t feel like I’ve reached my peak and I’m just holding on before snapping once a week. I sound so selfish, and I know I am, and I don’t care, and isn’t that just so more selfish?

Figures, I am so better at being objective with my flaws now, that’s a good thing, right?

I hate taking a cold shower before entering the pool, it fucking punches me in the gut and takes my breath away, but once I do, I feel a little bit better. I’m too sleep-deprived to analyze that with a metaphor like I tend to do.

Not today though, today the menu is the raw special edition of self-hatred from my fucked-up mind.

Today I’m going again, and the thing that made me start writing this hasn’t crossed my mind since that day at the pool.

There’s much more pressing fears and regrets bubbling in the surface of my sea of thoughts. But I figured, it was better to put this on writing, at least to write one sad novel of my traumas, so pedantic I know. Still, it seemed so right to do it, while taking arm after arm of water without breathing. So here I am again, writing. It would be more fun if I had more time to dwell in metaphors, but I’m out of time, for everything, so this is the best I can come up with.

I almost drowned, that’s the thing.

My mom is certain I did. I don’t really know if some part of me died on that day, but I bet some did.

It was sunny, at least when we arrived at the beach. It was safe, inside a vacation complex that my friend’s family subscribed, and we were young and dumb.

I want to keep saying dumb, cause otherwise I would have to call them cold-hearted traitors, and well, they are the same friends I have now, even if not close, I can’t afford to lose them. Mom doesn’t know why I forgave them,

I guess I hadn’t, I just don’t think too hard about it.

Just four of us went farther in the water that day, the waves were sometimes strong but manageable at the height of our waists. Salty, we threw it around and I remember thinking at last the worries and sadness lurking in the lasts months of the school year shredded off me like cracking dirt. I was the only girl that went that far, most of them went back to the pool, and those knew nothing of what happened that day, so they are in the clear.

(You should know I love you; I don’t think I could if you knew I was dying and ignored it, so yeah, convenient for my brain you weren’t really there)

Because I was. Dying, that is.

Two were on the sand shores, carving in the sand with their hands, or just sitting, I really don’t know. Then, of the four of us, I didn’t realize when, but suddenly we were just one friend and me.

In his defense, he advised me not to go that far in the water, but well I did, I was completely in control, you know? You have to understand, at that age I was too cocky with everything, the way you only can be when everything has gone right for you without too much effort.

Then, I was carried away by the waves, but just some meters. When I realized it, I tried to swim back, getting a little worried when I just keep drifting away, but still in control, you know? That is until I heard yelling. It was my friend, a girl one, and currently the only one I consider a real friend from their lot.

She was in the shore, and the only one that realized I was in danger.

Figures, what good friends I have, but as I said, I fool myself into calling them careless instead, I don’t know if I can keep telling myself that.

She got into the water and went for me, calling my name. But when I asked her recently, she told me she first told the boys I was in danger, and even urged the friend I keep flirting with, to go for me.

You know what he did?

He shrugged and walked away, and then my friend went for me.

He is in Spain now, I even sent him a message telling him I missed him some days ago. He hadn’t replied to that, not to my last 5 messages in the last months, and I don’t know why I bother. He was never a friend I could rely on, I just fancied an idolized version of him he will never be, so it’s so easy for me to let him go. But knowing all that then would have crushed me, I guess time really puts things into perspective.

So, she came for me, and I remember turning around when I heard my name, and getting so worried, because she didn’t really know how to swim. Picture this, she loved me that much, she didn’t know how to swim but still tried, and ultimately, I thank her, I can’t blame her for what happened next.

I remember this so well; it’s engraved with permanent ink before my eyes and inside my lungs.

The waves were getting stronger and taller every time, I was getting scared and even began to expect them to stay below the surface when they crashed. I heard my name, turned around, saw my friend struggling and yelling, I lost focus and yelled at her to go back,

I turned to the open sea and there it was, the biggest wave yet, just some centimeters away from my face.

I couldn’t do anything, it swallowed me whole, with such a force I hope I’ll never feel again if I’m lucky.

Until then, I had been trapped and spited by some waves before, but just two or three turns, and I was free again to breathe.

But not this time

I lost count after more than 20 turns, and when I ran out of oxygen, I just keep turning, eventually inhaling water when I lost control of that.

And I kept turning, my head a mess of disconnected thoughts, but I remember what I was thinking:

My brother won’t be able to move on from my death, my family would crumble, and I wouldn’t be there to help them pick the pieces. The grief of this was mixed with denial, I denied until the very end that I would die there.

I can say I maintained my humor until the very end, cause the tone of my thoughts were on the line of “Seriously? We are going to die like this, turning like a yo-yo? God, I think the fuck not”, and honestly, I stan.

In those moments, which felt like hours or seconds at the same time, I felt like I was in space, without anything solid to bind me to the Earth and consciousness. But I had a wristband, a plastic one of a gay anime of 2016, and I squeezed it as my only tether to reality, even when I swallowed so much water, I believed I would really die.

That cheap faded blue-sky plastic gay thing really saved me, huh. 

I don’t know why god decide to let me live that day, I found myself suddenly freed of the death wave, and half unconscious, I emerged to the surface.

But the nightmare wasn’t over; when I looked around, all I could see was water in all directions.

Let me tell you, I got scared out of my mind, completely freaked out. Where was I, the middle of the sea? And the waves kept coming, bigger than before. I don’t know how my brain was still rational, I guess I’m really at least as smart as they tell me I am, because I really saved myself that day.

I decided to swim in the direction the waves went, obvious for you, but not for me in that moment, and almost was sucked into another wave, when I remembered to swim below the water to not be caught when they crashed.

Finally, I managed to see the coast.

Turns out, I wasn’t that far away, only the big waves kept me from seeing the shore.

From then, I really don’t remember much, I guess the adrenaline kept me from feeling how tired I was. I remember just vaguely touching the sea floor, walking slowly until I was in just sand. It felt so detached, like seeing a movie, I didn’t feel happy or sad,

it was like I didn’t feel anything.

There wasn’t one of the friends that were with me there, just those that were on the sand, one girl asked me if I was okay,

I don’t remember what I said.

My friend told me later, this girl saw me so pale, and that I didn’t reply, just laid there in the sand looking at the sky for a really long time.

I guess I coped like that.

I asked about my friend, the only one that tried to save, and I found her in the pool, safe with another friend and some people. She, and then they, asked me worriedly if I was okay, I only looked half-crazed at her eyes, nodded to myself that she was safe and got the hell out of there, I couldn’t stay one more minute with all those people that left me to die.

I went to the house and slept until the next day.

The following morning, I talked and told everyone that I almost drowned, and brushed their concern with a sarcastic smile, didn’t let them get too close, and even less, close enough to try to comfort me,

you weren’t there when I was dying,

not even cared enough to try to get someone who could save me, so no, you don’t get to see my vulnerable side again.

I remember fragments of the following days, I made myself got into the water the next day, so I didn’t get a trauma with the sea, I apologized to not giving her the respect she deserved, and thanked her for returning me my life, I was really grateful.

I never cried, just felt devoid of emotions.

When I returned home, my mom didn’t tell me then, but I looked half dead, and she got terrified.

You know the worst part?

Even before I was born or my mother had even met my father, my mom had gone to see a fortune teller, who told her she would have 2 sons and a daughter, but the girl would die very young, she should be careful of her.

And my mom never forgot that, not when I was born, or in every moment I was careless or didn’t reply to the phone.

I was 14, I was so young, and I should have died that day.

When I came back, and my mom realized I had survived, she cried the whole night with relief, she never told me this until some days ago I asked. It breaks my heart to know how much she carried on her mind without my knowledge. She made my whole family pray to the gods to return the part of my soul that had gotten scared and left my body, and the next day I was okay.

That was 5 years ago, and sometimes I remember that no one saved me when I was dying, not even one of the friends I would have died to save would do that for me.

Maybe they didn’t realize I was in danger, but again,

I would have.

I can’t forgive them, maybe I shouldn’t, it got me trust issues that run deep and that I don’t like to acknowledge,

I saved myself, I always do, and it will always be like that.

It makes me feel cold, I can’t rely on no one, I don’t want to even, to my family, not to be a burden, even barely coping with madness. I shut it all inside so mom won’t have to deal with all my jumbled thoughts. It’s toxic of me I know, but I have time to unpack all the trauma when I’m on my own, for now she is more important.

But I remembered this whole episode when I was swimming the other day, which have never happened before, and it shook me. I felt trapped, oppressed under the enormous mental weight of the water on me.

I guess the mental craziness was extra spicy that day that decided to serve a dish that was very buried inside.

I still feel like I’m pushing it all inside, I haven’t really allowed this wound to heal, and I’m too afraid I’m too weak to really look it in the eye without losing control of my sanity. I’m a makeshift of strength on the outside, inside everything is crumbling and I wonder how I manage to still be in one piece.

I got very good at pretending and crying without sound.

[pigeonp0st]

Agatha x reader where Agatha steals Wanda's girlfriend??? like in Westview wanda and reader are fighting a lot and Agatha steals reader so she can hurt wanda but also falls in love with reader

Agatha Harkness x Reader #1

Words: 4,772

Warnings: All Wandavision TW’s apply here...also...kidnapping occurs

Notes:

Big thanks to @gaytrashgoblin for editing (I’m sorry for not capitalizing my ‘I’ in things lmao...and it should be Westveiw!! I despise Westview. I don’t care if it makes sense), and big thanks to the anon that requested. This was fun to write and is now my longest fic so that’s cool. Hope you peeps enjoy!

————

Ever since you and Wanda came to Westview she’s been...cruel. Not to you, not really, but to others. She’s so wrapped in her grief that she’s not seeing the people she’s hurting because of it.

She lost Vision, her best friend, and she lost Natasha, and Tony, and—

and too many people. But you lost them too.

So when she invited you to go on a vacation with her to Westview, you said yes...you needed the break from reality...you weren’t expecting to enter a whole other one. You weren’t expecting to get trapped inside of some sitcom where she has control of literally everything around you.

So naturally, you two argue. Constantly. Loudly. Wanda doesn’t seem to think she’s doing it, and you honestly aren’t sure anymore if you believe her. Maybe at first it wasn’t on purpose, but now it is, and that’s all that matters.

You just want the arguing to stop, you just want to help everyone, you just want to go home.

When you tell Wanda this her face scrunches up in anger and she stands up from her seat roughly enough to send the coffee she was drinking flying to the floor. “I have nothing out there anymore,” Wanda yells, her powers shaking the café the two of you are in. “Don’t you understand? I’ve already done what I’ve done, and even if I take this all down now nothing will change that. I’m already a monster.”

There’s silence for a brief moment...you aren’t sure what to say to that, but then you look around the café and see everyone talking and chatting like Wanda isn’t even doing the things she’s doing, and you shake your head.

“That isn’t true, Wanda,” you whisper, meeting her glowing eyes. “You weren’t a monster when you created this, but you will be if you keep living in this little fantasy at the expense of everyone else— when you know what’s happening.”

Wanda pauses, eyes turning down. “They aren’t in pain,” she whispers quietly, like she’s trying to convince herself. “But if you don’t like it then you can leave. Especially if you continue to argue with me about this.”

Leave. Leave and leave Wanda here alone. She created Westveiw to stop feeling pain, she created it to be some sort of fantasy land, and you aren’t a part of that anymore for her. In her dream world you aren’t there if you aren’t compliant.

Or maybe you aren’t there if you aren’t happy.

Honestly, she’d probably just create the version of you that she actually wants the second you leave.

When Wanda winces you know that she’s in your head. She looks to be about to protest but you don’t need her to. This is all beside the point.

You can’t leave when people are suffering.

“Wanda, that’s not the point. If you keep hurting people—”

Agnes. Agnes pops her head up behind Wanda, all cheery smiles and good (nosy) neighbor vibes. She always seems to be around to interrupt you and Wanda. Usually you’re thankful, now not so much.

Sighing you slump into your chair, expecting Agnes to ignore you and chat with Wanda the way she always seems to. You’re surprised when that doesn’t happen though.

Agnes looks straight at you. “Y’know...i’ve been wondering for a while now. Are you and Wanda a couple?”

You blink at her, shocked and hesitant. “Uh…”

“Yes,” Wanda cuts in. A flash of hurt in her eyes. “Y/N’s my girlfriend.” The way she says it sounds...used. She says it so dispassionately now, when it used to be filled with too much admiration and even more love.

She says it like she’s tired of saying it. Like it doesn’t mean a whole lot anymore, and you hadn’t realized when that started but it hurts like a stab wound. It hurts realizing that this now, this isn’t the beginning to the end, you and Wanda had already started that a long time ago.

Agnes doesn’t seem to notice either of your turmoil, she just keeps talking, and talking, asking question after question to Wanda and letting you sit in silence and get enveloped by thoughts that you’re only allowing yourself to have because Wanda is distracted by Agnes and can’t read your thoughts.

When had that started up again anyways? She always used to say she wouldn’t do that without permission. It’s just another nail in an already full coffin, you suppose bitterly.

————

When Agnes leaves, you and Wanda silently decide to go home. Your thoughts are spiraling and you’re spiraling, and everything is spiraling but when Wanda kisses you in the doorway of your fake home, in this fake town, you let her.

You let her because even though she hurts you so much, even though you know that she’s only kissing you because she’s attempting to distract you and have you forget about the argument, right now she’s your only tether to reality.

She’s the only thing that’s real. She’s the only thing that’s real, but when she pulls away and notices you’re crying she just sighs heavily and walks away, and you’re left to wonder why the only time she won’t read your mind is the only time you’re begging her to.

You’re left to wonder if the relationship the two of you have is even real anymore either, or if it’s been destroyed and altered by grief.

You’re left to shout in your head angrily and desperately, begging her to listen; “If you leave now we’re over, Wanda. Wanda, listen to me. Wanda, I’m here. I’m here still, for you. You’re all I have. You’re all I...fuck you’re all I have here. Please.”

The bedroom door shuts. The door shuts and the echoes of it feel like it’s breaking your heart.

You leave. You stumble out of the door, gasping and sobbing, and angry. So, so angry. She wasn’t reading your mind, she hadn’t heard, but she left you. She didn’t need to read your mind to know that you were falling apart, to know that you have been since the second you entered this stupid fucking town.

You want to run. Your body is begging you to. You want to run to the corner of this godforsaken town and pound on the barriers like you wish you had the courage to pound on Wanda’s door. You want to yell at the world, to let it know that you’re tired, and you’re alone, and that the weight on your shoulders has been too heavy, the grief on your shoulders weighs too much.

Someone up there in the clouds made a mistake. Someone overestimated what you could take and gave you too much, and now you’re crumbling.

Your heart is crumbling, you’re crumbling on the sidewalk outside of Agne’s home, and her door is opening, and she’s coming out, purple magic surrounding her and a devilishly smirk on her face, and you don’t care.

You just don’t care.

————

When you come to consciousness again, you wish you could just go back asleep. You’re tied to a chair in some dark area—it looks like a cave or some type of labyrinth but you know it can’t be—and it’s not even your biggest concern. You’re not thinking about escaping, you’re thinking about whether Wanda will care enough to come and find you.

Agnes appears out of the darkest corners of the room. You look at her tiredly, then turn away, lost in thought once again.

You’re only pulled out of it when she roughly grabs your chin and forces you to meet her eyes, a pout on her lips. “I’ve never had a prisoner so...relaxed. Get kidnapped often?” Agnes asks, laughing afterwards as if she’s said something funny.

“I’m not relaxed,” you growl, deciding to stop wallowing in your own self pity for now. Whatever’s going on with you and Wanda, she isn’t going to turn you into her. You still have to believe you still have fight in you. You still have to fight when you're faced with (possibly) death. It’s not okay not to. “I just had a really fucking shitty day.”

Agnes raises an eyebrow, stroking your face with amusement. When you attempt to bite her she pulls her hand back roughly, sighing like a disappointed owner. “Yes, yes, I saw you hyperventilating in front of my house. What was that about anyways? Get in a fight with the mistress? You can tell your dear neighbor Agatha.”

You narrow your eyes at her. If anyone is the mistress here it’s definitely Agnes—Agatha? “Agatha?” You repeat out loud, tilting your head.

Agatha nods her head, sticking out her hand. “Yep! Agatha Harkness. Pleased to formally meet cha’.” She pauses, glancing down at your tied down arms. “Whoops. Sorry about that. I forgot.”

Agatha—Anges—whatever, she seems like a total asshole, you decide fairly quickly. She seems like a person that’s only out to entertain herself...it would be amusing or charming if she hadn’t had you tied up in her basement (You assume it’s her basement. That’s where people get tied up in shows), but unfortunately she does.

You pause suddenly. Shocked and broken. “Wanda,” you stutter, “is she...is she controlling you, is she doing this?” The fact that you’re unsure if this is something she would do says a lot.

Agatha pauses too, studying you closely. “Are you two really together?” She asks, ignoring your question completely. “You seem utterly miserable. It’s actually quite depressing.”

You shake your head, eyes wide and tear rimmed. You don’t care about this, you just need to know— “please. Agn- Agatha. Please, tell me,” you croak out, desperate.

You need to know how much of an idiot you’ve been. You need to know if you are worth it. If you have ever been worth it to her. You need to know if the woman you’ve loved for too long—if your miserable grief ridden redhead— would do this.

You need to know if this is the type of person you weren’t able to prevent her from becoming by just being there.

“No,” Agatha says, hesitant sounding and with pity in her eyes. “No dear, I am not under her mind control. Now I need you to tell me if she would search for you, okay? Would she look for you?”

You sag into your restraints, utterly spent and exhausted again. “Is that why you kidnapped me. To get her here?” You ask, letting out a bitter laugh and closing your eyes. “You would have had better luck kidnapping the fucking dog.”

When you open your eyes again Agatha is gone with a cloud of purple smoke left in her absence, and you’re alone.

You’re tired of being alone.

————-

It’s been a week or two since you’ve been kidnapped. It’s not really all that bad. You wallow in depression, Agatha gives you some pretty good food, and when you ask nicely enough she’ll even give you some of her baking. She claims to be very bored.

Because of that she comes down to the basement often (she confirmed you were indeed in the basement) and you two talk. At first it was just Agatha talking. She’d rant on and on about all of her evil plans, and everything she’s been up to. She’d talk about Wanda, try to get some information out of you (she learned quickly that you’re not willing to help her), but after the third day she started asking you a lot of personal questions too.

She’s very good at comforting people, and at getting them to open up. “And when I think about it, like really, actually think about it, I realize that I haven’t loved Wanda romantically for quite some time,” you reveal wobbly, more vulnerable than usual today. “I’ve just...I’ve lost a lot too, and I don’t want to be alone. I can’t be.”

You don’t realize you’re crying until Agatha tenderly wipes a falling tear from your cheek. Her own expression shows more real emotion than she’s ever seemed to allow herself to show in front of you. “It sucks,” Agatha says. “Being alone I mean. I would know. But what sucks even more is forcing yourself to be with people that make you feel alone anyways, just because you’re scared of it possibly being worse without them.”

Agatha says that, years full of loneliness written on her face, but then she just sighs, unties one of your hands, gives you a muffin, and leaves.

You could escape. You could free yourself from your bindings and leave, but instead you grab your muffin, ignoring your tears, and eat.

You eat and you stay. You stay because this woman kidnapped you in her home, and she’s opened up to you. Not because she trusts you necessarily, but because you’ve probably been the only one she’s had around to be honest with for a very long time. Because she kidnapped you, and she hadn’t had to pretend she was something she was not, because she was finally allowed to be real with someone.

And then, even after finally having someone for a little while, she’s decided to free you. Even though it could potentially ruin all of her plans if you went back to Wanda.

You stay because Agatha is the only thing that’s been real in this very fake town, and because Wanda…

Wanda keeps you here, Wanda keeps everyone in this town here because she is terrified, because she is alone, because she has always just wanted normal, and Agatha, who longs for someone to talk to, for someone to be around, let’s you go anyway.

You stay for now because Agatha deserves someone to stay for her.

————

When you see Agatha enter the room the next day you realize that she doesn’t think you’re there. She looks at your empty seat with gritted teeth and sad eyes, and picks up the muffin wrapper you left on the seat with resignation.

“Can I have more?” You ask from the corner of the room, deciding to not leave Agatha in her sadness any longer.

Agatha whips around so fast you think she might need to go to the chiropractor for that later. She looks at you and her eyes soften, and her shoulders sag with her relief, and her hand lets go of the muffin wrapper, and she’s happy you’re there. She’s happy you’re there, and that means something to you.

You don’t know what.

She doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Neither do you. But then, finally; “don’t touch, Wanda,” you ask quietly, but loud enough for her to hear. “I want to stay, but I can’t if I know you’re going to hurt her.”

You don’t expect her to agree. You don’t expect for her to give up her plans. You don’t expect to be enough, but Agatha nods like you are.

You told her, “you don’t need to be alone anymore” when you stayed, and she told you, “you’re enough” when she agreed.

That realization feels like getting hit by a truck. A very nice truck.

“Wanda’s been looking for you,” Agatha says, like she’s reading your thoughts. It’s still so odd to see her hesitant, but that’s exactly what she is right now. “She has been since the morning after you were kidnapped. She’s terrified, and lashing out at everyone to find you. She has everyone looking for you.”

Your breath catches in your throat, shocked, and Agatha winces in the same instant, stepping away. You hadn’t even considered the possibility that Wanda would look for you.

“I need to see her,” you decide. Agatha does nothing but nod, turning to leave again, but you run to catch her by the arm before she goes.

She blinks at you, and then at your hand. You realize it’s the first time you’ve ever touched her. The first time you’ve ever stood beside her.

“Wanda is my family. The entirety of the Avengers are. I think she’d accept it pretty well if I told her I’d like to be friends,” you say, talking to yourself more than her. “I’d like to be her friend, but more importantly I need to take down this...illusion she has going on before we can work things out.”

“Work things out,” Agatha repeats, snapping you out of your thoughts again.

For some reason you keep feeling this need to clarify what Wanda will be to you. Perhaps it’s because of the closed off look Agatha gets whenever you even allude to getting back with Wanda. “As friends.”

Agatha nods again, then narrows her eyes right after. “I’ve never asked…” she says quietly, a venom entering her tone in an instant. “Has Wanda ever hurt you?”

Your eyes widen comically at that. “No,” you say quickly, watching as Agatha’s shoulders drop in relief.

“But she was still a bitch,” Agatha mumbles. You’re not necessarily fond of Agatha talking about Wanda like that…despite everything, one word you would describe Wanda as is ‘trying’, and that’s what she’s doing now. The things she’s doing in grief is not who she is, and it doesn’t excuse what she’s done but it means something profound anyways.

Wanda is a good person. A deep, lost, trying person. She needs someone there for her too. You fell out of love, you realize, before coming to Westview, but it was here that you realized that to be true— during Wanda’s lowest point. And that’s really what this is. Wanda’s lowest point. She’s buried by grief.

So yeah. You want to try and be her friend.

——-

Surprisingly when Wanda sees you the hex falls immediately. On the way here you noticed everyone watching you, and you realize now that it was actually Wanda watching. She’s been using everyone to find you, and now that she has she doesn’t need to manipulate people anymore…that’s what she rushes out quietly in shock when you ask.

She hugs you tightly like she’s afraid of letting go and realizing that you’re just another illusion. You hug her back, thankful and wondering if the hex would have fallen sooner if you had come home sooner.

But you’re surrounded in mere moments, and none of that seems to matter. You’re surrounded by angry townsfolk and people with guns alike.

Just as soon as the guns appear though so does Agatha, surrounded by her magic and glaring at everyone menacingly and with a look on her face that suggests she knows she’s ten times better than them.

“Agatha just floof us out of here!” You yell, staring with wide eyes at the red dot on your chest “or Wanda, SOMEBODY, please!”

Wanda pulls away from you, looking at Agatha, you, the angry townspeople—she looks at them with sorrow for a long moment—and then at the government goons.

“It’s called teleportation, darling! Try to be more articulate,” Agatha sighs, teleporting the three of you out of there a moment after Wanda waves a hand and has them pointing their guns at each other.

———-

Agatha teleported you to a cabin in the middle of nowhere (she said it’s actually only about an hour away from Westview) a little over a week ago.

During that time you’ve managed to end your relationship with Wanda pretty peacefully. She seemed to agree that it was better if you two broke it off...she thinks that she needs time to reevaluate who she is with all of her grief, but mentioned that she’d be willing to get back together again.

When Agatha stops pretending to read her book and glares at Wanda fiercely, Wanda sighs and adds that she understands if that won’t be something you want.

She’s dealing with what she did to the people of Westview very badly, so other than deep conversations and both of you trying to help each other figure out what your futures will look like, she mostly stays in the room she’s staying in and only leaves to get fresh air on the porch and to look for you to cry with and apologize to constantly.

You wonder if there will ever be a day Wanda isn’t apologizing to you.

You also wonder if there will ever be a day Wanda and Agatha don’t hate each other so profusely.

Wanda learned what Agatha did to you and why a few days after staying in the cabin again (she was scared to ask for quite a while), and since then she doesn’t hold the same kindness towards her.

Agatha hadn’t even tried to pretend to like Wanda since the moment they entered the cabin together.

When you ask about it Agatha huffs and rolls her eyes. “Wanda is stupid,” she explains simply.

When you give her a deadpan look she smirks and tries to explain better. “She is. She has no real concept of the power she holds, but more importantly she hurt someone I am fond of very deeply. She made the sweetest woman I know question if she was enough, and that...that is simply unforgivable.”

You don’t know what to say to that. There aren't proper words to describe how much Agatha’s care means to you.

Agatha seems to understand, because she gives you a gentle soft smile and gets up to leave.

“Wait,” you stop her. “Why do you always leave after you show some amount of care for me?” It’s something you’ve been beginning to wonder. Agatha says something incredibly sweet, becomes incredibly vulnerable, and then she leaves. “Where do you go?”

Agatha looks shocked by the question. “I am not sure you are ready for that answer.”

You blink. “Which...one exactly?”

“The why,” Agatha clarifies, studying your face. She’s always so calculating and you don’t want her to think she needs to be with you.

“I am not ready for a lot of things in life, but i’m ready for you.” When the words register in your head you flush up immediately, turning into a blundering mess.

That is also another common occurrence in the cabin. You’ve realized that you have a...crush on Agatha. Though you worry it’s deeper than that.

According to Google it takes three months to fall in love with someone. You’ve done it in three and a half weeks. It’s ridiculous.

“I mean...I mean i’m ready for the things that come with you, y’know? I’m ready for your honesty and—”

Agatha kisses you.

She kisses you, and it’s nothing like you imagined. You expected her to be rough and demanding. You expected her kisses to be a little like her, unrelenting and passionate, but they aren’t.

She kisses you and she’s soft and hesitant. She kisses you and she’s loving. She kisses you, and it’s like she is worshiping you, and breathing you into all of the empty places in her heart.

She kisses you like she is decades old, and yet she’s only just now found her way home.

And then she pulls back, and she’s unrelenting and passionate again, a spark of both mischief and something softer and deeper than you can understand in her eyes.

“At first I left because I was scared of caring for you, and thought that if I left after being vulnerable then maybe I could pretend I never was at all,” Agatha admits, brushing a thumb over your cheek. You remember the first time she did that—and your attempts at biting her.

You try and bite her now too, though not as hard, just to remind her and share in the moment together again. She doesn’t move away so you just end up gently nipping at her palm.

She smiles at you, laughing quietly. It’s not often Agatha releases this type of adoring laugh and you’re left to marvel in it.

“And then me leaving was because,” she pauses, her eyes wavering for a moment, and then she’s pulling you into a tight hug and you can’t see her eyes at all. “Because I wasn’t sure if you were ready to move on from Wanda, and I was scared that if you realized my feelings for you sooner than you were ready you would reject me...and I couldn’t take that.”

She was scared that by being vulnerable with you she was giving herself away, you realize, and as you think it you notice that she sort of has been. Even Wanda has probably noticed…

“So I leave. I leave before you can reject me, because each time I say or do something, I wonder if it’ll be the moment you realize that I lov- that I care for you a great deal.”

Love. That’s what Agatha was about to say. You love her too but she’s right in assuming you aren’t ready to hear it or admit it yet. But you will be, and even if she does admit it sooner than you’re ready the last thing you’ll do is reject her.

“I care for you a great deal, too,” you whisper, pulling away from your hug to meet Agatha’s eyes and smile. It isn’t ‘I love you, too’, but that’s what it's supposed to be...and Agatha seems to understand, because of course she does.

“Thank you,” she says quietly, and then adds with a smirk; “for caring for me a ‘great deal.’ What an honor.”

“You’re the one that said it first,” you smile, rolling your eyes. “You’re cheesier than me.”

Agatha’s eyes narrow menacingly but before she can say anything Wanda’s voice cuts in through the living room. “If you two are done fucking there’s a bear out side of the fucking cabin and I need fucking help!”

“See,” Agatha whispers, a growl in her voice . “I told you she’s an idiot. The only world she knows is ‘fucking’”

You can only roll your eyes again, dragging Agatha by the sleeve into the living room. What you both come to find is Wanda trying to fend off a bear with a wooden spoon. You ignore the snort behind you, only focused on the way Wanda’s eyes zero in on your lips.

Oh. You must have smeared lipstick on.

“Wow,” Wanda breathes, forgetting the bear. “You too really were fucking,” she smiles when she says it to let you know that she’s fine, and that the two of you are good... but you still feel a bit of guilt.

Agatha doesn’t. “You are a greater fool than I thought. Did you forget you have magical abilities?”

Wanda frowns, gaze immediately snapping back to the growling bear. “I didn’t want to risk hurting it. I’m kinda tired of hurting things.”

And with that Agatha and Wanda begin their bickering again...you end up having to be the one to get the bear out and you nearly die from the effort.

“It’s a twisted ankle,” Agatha says, amused. “I took care of it before it could bite off your arm.” When Wanda— full of concern—hands you a pack of ice though...well Agatha’s stance changes fairly quickly.

“You are dying. Come with me. You need bed rest.”

It is all very amusing, you think, despite the pain you’re in. You’re sure in the future when all of this is behind them Agatha and Wanda will be very good friends…but for now, in this cabin, supposedly not actually in the middle of nowhere, they both can be your entertainment.

You loved Wanda (you still do, though not in the same way), and now you love Agatha. It’s the best outcome you could’ve hoped for when you came to Westview...it’s the best outcome you could’ve hoped for when Agatha found you sobbing on the pavement in front of her house and kidnapped you.

It’s not happily ever after, there is a whole lot the three of you need to heal from—individually, but maybe together too— and this isn’t where your stories end...

But it’s the closest you’ve been to happy in a very long time and you’re going to bask in it.

“You’re thinking a lot again,” Agatha notices, tilting her head. “If you would rather do something more fun, could you help me get this poison in Wanda’s drink?”

“Agatha!”

“What? It was just a joke…” she looks down at the vile of liquid she’s holding in her hand when she notices you glaring at it. “hey, really? This is something for the cough Wanda’s developed. Don’t be so untrusting.” Agatha sighs.

“Oh, wait, really?”

“Yes...I wouldn’t actually poison her. This is only going to make her cough worse.”

“Agatha!”

“What?” Agatha huffs. “She messed with my books.”

[old-hyper-super-clover]

For the requests‚ what about a family trip to the beach with Purgatory Hall + the royals and MC? Like Simeon and Barbatos setting up a picnic table meanwhile MC and Luke play around in the sand searching for shiny or strange things to building a sand castle (everything also keeping Solomon and Diavolo far from the preparations for the picnic)‚ playing with water guns or swimming. And after eating maybe playing a match of volleyball sand, admiring the sunset till it's nigth time and before going back‚ playing with fireworks, do a little stargazing or something--

Feel free to ignore this and thanks in advance anyway~

FINALLY I've come to write something for this lovely request. It's packed with so many fun ideas that I kinda went overboard with it xD this means the story is so big I'll have to split it into two posts!

To Bisshitu: I wanted to thank you for your continuous support! I see you in my notifs a lot and I really appreciate it!! (ALSO I AM SO SORRY YOU'VE WAITED SO LONG I HOPE YOU WILL STILL ENJOY THIS CHAOS)

Literally just 13 idiots on a beach trip~

Part 1

MC was leaning against one of the walls in the giant entrance halls of the House of Lamentation. Standing next to them, Solomon handed MC an opened bag of spicy newt chips. "Want some?" He asked and MC gladly took a few while constantly watching the commotion that was going on in the rest of the hallway.

Who would've guessed that going on a vacation with the seven rulers of hell would involve the most panicked, loud and chaotic packing of bags to have ever existed?

Well, let's be real, MC did expect it, but maybe not to the degree that they were in amusement about now.

The oldest brother had called the others for a "luggage check" as he had been sceptical of his brothers' talents in packing reasonable items in an, likewise reasonable, amount of suitcases and bags.

And of course, the first one to show up had to present his luggage in the form of... nothing.

Yes, Beelzebub came up to Lucifer, only the remains of a sandwich in his hand (which didn't last longer than three more seconds), confused when Lucifer mustered him with an angered glance.

"Where's your luggage?" Lucifer asked, to which Beel only gave a shrug.

"We're going to the beach, right? Which means I'll only need my swimming trunks, and I wear those underneath my pants."

Now the confusion has wandered over to rest on Lucifer's face. "But... Won't you need clothes to change into, or at least pyjamas for the night?"

"Hm..." Beel scratched the back of his head while thinking about Lucifer's words. "Nah, I don't need those. I'm planning to stay at the beach all the time, so..." Then suddenly, he gasped as he remembered something. "Wait, I do have something else prepared to bring along!"

Beel reached into his pocket, and when he pulled out a hand-written list that unrolled itself, plonking onto the carpet and rolling all the way to Lucifer's feet, the avatar of Pride knew exactly what said list was going to be.

"There are a few food stands that I'd like to try out..." Beel announced, eyeing the paper. "First of all, there's one selling shaved ice, which I want to compare to the ice-cream from this other stand, but who's also selling parfaits of which I kind of want to try all twenty-five flavours... Also then there's of course-"

"Beel" Lucifer interrupted the avatar of Gluttony in a strict tone. "Go pack a proper bag."

"But-"

"Now."

Letting out a sigh, Lucifer watched as Beel left.

But little did he know, this had only been the beginning of the chaos...

Moments later, Lucifer has found himself explaining to Satan why taking 70 different books with him would be ridiculously much. Also Mammon had taken this opportunity to "lend" some of his brothers possessions, arguing that he "needed those for the beach". This had worked until his swift fingers touched Levi's limited edition Ruri-chan sunscreen.

So, as Lucifer was spam-calling Belphie to wake him up and finally have him start packing, a sudden argument could be heard from upstairs:

"... How dare you steal my precious Hana Ruri 'magical sun ray protective lotion for all blooming heroes of justice'?! This very sunscreen is an homage to the legendary beach episode where Azuki-tan got a sunburn and couldn't help Ruri-chan in the intense battle against the evil kelp-army that was threatening to overgrow the local reef-"

"OKAY OKAY, HERE'S YOUR STUPID CREAM NOW LEAVE ME ALONE"

"S-STUPID CREAM?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW PRECIOUS THIS ITEM IS TO A FAN LIKE-"

That was all Lucifer could understand as an awfully annoyed scream Mammon let out was drowning Levi's gibberish. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Lucifer knew this vacation was going to be one intense experience...

An hour later, the group found itself where this little story had started off. The Purgatory Hall crew had already arrived long ago, enjoying the chaos together with MC -- who, btw, had been the only one to pass Lucifer's vibe luggage check right away.

Slowly it felt like most of the brothers were ready to go, only Asmodeus was left in the judgemental glare of the avatar of Pride.

But Lucifer noticed they already were way behind the time they were supposed to meet Diavolo at his castle. So, to Asmo's luck, he let off of trying to see what's inside the pretty boy's suitcase and announced the group's departure.

In enthusiasm shared by almost everyone, they let out a big cheer:

"Off to the beach we go!"

Some of the demons had whined about wanting to visit the human world beach. But as those idiot boys literally couldn't be trusted to act responsibly (which is okay, we love them regardless), Diavolo offered to stay at the beach resort he created in the Devildom.

Looking over the endless ocean, surrounded by the equally large beach and glistening in an artificial sun's light, MC was wondering just how powerful the demon prince must be to have created all this. But they were left only little time to be in awe over the location, as their friends demanded their attention shortly after having arrived.

Without going into much detail -- the day was packed with lots and lots of fun. MC was running around the beach, playing and goofing around with their friends, only to take a collective rest and then go do something silly again. Only a few other demons were to be found at the resort, but those were some acquaintances of Diavolo's family, and the group seemed to have scared them off of the beach after, like, an hour or so. Hence, the whole beach served as their playground for whatever activity they wanted to do, until in the afternoon, most of them were about to collapse from exhaustion and hunger.

"That's right, we didn't really have a proper meal since coming here" Asmo noticed as several tummy grumbles undermined his statement.

"We DID bring a picnic basket..." Satan mumbled. "But some genius had to let Beel carry it."

The culprit gave an immediate pout. "I had to hurry, 'kay?!" Mammon huffed. "MC was already at the beach and I--" he stopped. "... U-uh... I mean..."

Gaining a round of sighs and shaking heads, his brothers however decided to let Mammon's... mammon-ness slide for once. Mostly because, approaching from the distance, Barbatos and Solomon were getting closer, their hands full with bags that seemed to be stuffed with food.

"Y-yoU BroUGhT S-nAcKs?!" Beelzebub was already on his feet running towards them but Barbatos' stare was actually enough to make him stop.

"Not before the dishes are prepared, Beelzebub" Barbatos explained calmly, but with this very weird hidden tone in his voice that gave everyone chills despite the scorching summer heat.

"We figured everyone must be starving by now, so Barbatos suggested we'd make a little picnic party with everyone" Solomon cheered, presenting the bags in his hands.

"That sounds lovely" Simeon could be heard among the general noise of approval. "Let me help you prepare everything, Barbatos."

The demon butler beamed him a smile, thanking the angel for his help.

Then, Solomon spoke up again, and every bit of joy vanished from all their faces: "Thank you, Simeon! With the three of us working together the food will be ready in no time!"

--------------

Barbatos was putting all kinds of spices into a bowl to create a delicious sauce. Right next to him, Simeon prepared mouth-watering sandwiches.

And behind their back, there was this chopping sound. Chop reaching their chop ears in an chop never- chop ending thread, over and chop over again...

Swallowing his tension, Simeon was fighting a frown. "He's only cutting the fruits..." He whispered. "You shouldn't be able to mess up a fruit salad..."

"I know" Barbatos mumbled back. "However I cannot fight this unease that urges me to check if he's really-" He was interrupted by a very unsettling "oops" coming from that certain sorcerer at the cutting board.

In honestly quicker than the blink of an eye Simeon and Barbatos were at Solomon's side, frantically scanning the table for whatever Solomon must've messed up. When all they found were slices of fruit that, well, might have been chopped a bit wonky, they gave Solomon a confused stare.

"I cut off too much of this poor Hellberry's pull" Solomon explained. "Oh well, I'll just cut around the stem and add it to the fruit salad like this."

Both Barbatos and Simeon couldn't help but stare for a moment longer, their brains not really comprehending NOT finding an abomination in Solomon's cooking.

"Can I help you two with anything?" The sorcerer then asked.

"U-uhm, no..." Simeon mumbled. "It's all fine, we just..."

"We wanted to see if there's anything we can help you with" Barbatos jumped in to continue.

"Thanks, but I'm fine. Actually I'm almost finished, so maybe I can help one of you afterw-"

"Nononononono...!" Simeon almost whined. "I-its fine! We're actually almost finished ourselves, so..."

Solomon looked back, raising an eyebrow. "Doesn't look like it to me..."

Suddenly, another voice joined the group.

"I agree! You two are likely just being humble again" Diavolo had walked up to their working station a moment ago, but neither of them seemed to have noticed in their stress. The prince continued: "That's why I decided to lend you a hand as well. This is a vacation for all of us, so I should not burden my loyal butler with all the work."

"That's a commendable attitude for royalty like yourself" Solomon cheered. "Well then, I think Simeon and Barbatos could use a hand."

Diavolo was already squeezing his quite broad body into the tiny cooking space, this certain over-excited sparkle in his eyes as he mustered the food.

Barbatos and Simeon on the other hand were exchanging glances, so immensely stressed that their thoughts were almost audible:

'Barbatos I don't think I can handle any more of this stress' Simeon stared.

'We shouldn't have let Solomon help in the first place, our kindness was foolish' Barbatos stared back.

'What do we do now Barbatos this is the only food we have left, they cannot ruin it'

Thankfully, the perfect butler was not planning to let their "help" threaten the food for any longer. "Young master, I highly appreciate that you thought of my well-being. Which is why I indeed have a request for you and Solomon."

Simeon almost barged in on a frightened impulse, but Barbatos continued before anyone could raise their voice. "There is dessert stored in our hotel's main storage. Would you be so kind and bring enough for our whole group?"

A little surprised, Diavolo agreed. He waited for Solomon to finish cutting the fruits, then they went off to the hotel.

Finally able to catch a breath, Simeon shot Barbatos a last glance. "That was easier than expected. Why didn't we let Solomon bring the desserts earlier?"

Back to mixing spices, Barbatos didn't look up at the question. "What desserts?" He simply asked.

"... Uhm..." Simeon was quite startled. "Are there... Are there no desserts in the storage room...?"

"Oh, I sure hope there are" Barbatos said. "Otherwise I will have some explaining to do..."

-------------

(To be continued...)

Find my summer event Masterlist and Rules for the requests here <3

[kkyujikoo]

These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch47: Use Your Words, Old Man

Intro: Jamie reaches another milestone, and 2021 ticks by with many more memories for the Rogers and Stark family.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N:  I adore the edit again... @angrybirdcr​ did good!!!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 46

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

May 2021

“Jamie, no!” Steve swooped down and picked up the tot who had been toddling, albeit, unsteadily, towards Lucky giggling away. Lucky, however, was fast enough to understand and jumped up bolting towards the door of the room, leaping over the baby gate to avoid Jamie’s vice like grip on his ears.

“NO!” Jamie yelled and Steve stopped dead, Jamie in his large arms, as Katie looked up at them both, her mouth falling open.

“Did he just…?” she held her breath. The fourteen month old had been uttering the odd thing that sound like a word for a good few months now, but nothing that anyone would recognise as a proper term.

Until now.

“Yeah I think so!” Steve grinned, looking at her then his son. “Did you just talk buddy? Did you just say no?” “NO! No, No!” Jamie wriggled in his dad’s arms, grabbing at his shirt. Katie, who had managed to get the last few iterations of the word on her phone camera, grinned as Steve placed him back on the floor where he headed over to this play-mat and landed with a thud on the floor, picking up a pile of the large, coloured blocks he liked to play with.

“Of course his first word would be no.” She sighed as Steve sat on the couch next to her. He laughed and dropped a hand to her knee.

“To be fair, honey, that’s what we spend half our time telling him one way or another.” Katie snorted, that much was true. Since he had been fully mobile and walking unaided over the last two months, they had constantly been moving things out of his reach or removing them from his grasp, followed by the word. Nine times out of ten the tot was content to let them do so, but the odd time he would throw a temper tantrum to rival those of his Momma’s.

“NO!” Jamie called again, clacking the blocks together and Steve gave a grin, moving off the couch to drop by his son on the play-mat. Katie watched the two of them for a moment, smiling to herself. She knew it was a cliché but she literally couldn’t have wished for a better father for either of her kids. They were experiencing first parenting issues at both ends of the spectrum, with Emmy five months off her fourteenth birthday and Jamie two months on from his first. It wasn’t easy, hell, they spent half their time second guessing their decisions. Where they being too strict or too lenient with Emmy? Was Jamie developing right? Were his toys educational enough? Was the floor clean enough for him to be crawling or lying on with having a dog in the house? But, when she saw moments like this, Jamie now trying to push his large, red Mega-Block into his Dad’s mouth, Steve clamping his lips together and shaking his head making their son screech with laughter, all her worries faded away.

Jamie really was fast turning into a miniature version of his dad, which was another thing Katie loved. Steve himself didn’t see it, but there had been a moment a few weeks back where the soldier had recognised someone he knew, loved and missed daily in his Son, and it had choked both Parents up.

Steve was led on his back on the bed, Jamie cackling away as his dad was holding him at arms-length and then bringing him back down again to blow a raspberry on his cheek, repeating the motion over and over, until he paused and his eyes widened a little. Katie frowned slightly at the look on his face as Steve gulped, looking into his son’s eyes, their familiarity hitting him like a brick.

“Soldier, what is it?” Katie asked, as Steve’s eyes misted up and he swallowed thickly.

“His eyes. Erm, do you think they’ll carry on turning green?”

Katie frowned. “I don’t know, I doubt it. Apparently most babies, if their eyes are gonna change, will have done it by six months. Why do you ask?”

“I just, well, I never thought I’d see those eyes again.” He whispered, gently resuming his actions.

“I’m not following you, love.” Katie frowned

“He has my ma’s eyes” Steve’s voice was choked as he looked at her, bringing Jamie down to his chest, pressing a kiss to his head, a soft smile playing on his face.

“Then you see your mother’s eyes every time you look in the mirror.” Katie smiled, leaning over to give him a soft kiss as her own chest felt slightly tighter than normal. She wiped a tear Steve hadn’t even been aware he’d shed off his check gently with her thumb, leaving her hand trailing softly across his skin. “Because when I look at him all I see is you. Those eyes are yours.”

He looked up at her and smiled, “yeah?” “Yeah,” she nodded, “I think you’re more like your mother than you realise. Maybe not in looks completely but, well, she raised you single handed. You’re the man you are because of her.”

“She was a fantastic woman.” Steve sighed.

“Well then you should be proud.” Katie said, and he smiled looking over at her.

“I am,” he replied softly, his attention going back to his son, “and you know what else I’m proud of?”

“What?”

“That you’re a Mrs Rogers too.” He looked at her again. “I know it’s just a name but, I really am glad you took it. Jamie has a Rogers momma as good as mine, helping to carry the name forward.”

“You sentimental sap.” Katie sniffed slightly as her own tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

“I love you so much.” He beamed at her, pressing his lips to hers softly. “Even if you are still a Stark really.” She laughed against his lips,”jerk.”

Katie turned back to the laptop she’d been looking at, flicking through a few spreadsheets with the latest figures the SIDE accountants had produced. Steve and Emmy’s idea around the support groups had been well received by everyone involved with the foundation and as such they’d started drafting up the paper work and working out the estimated funding. Steve had consulted Rhodey about the programme and the Colonel had enthusiastically agreed it was a great idea, and as such they’d pitched it to the Government, President Ellis’ reaction had been the same as theirs – why didn’t we think of this before?

As such, they were currently working up the particulars such as how they set up across the country, mobilisation, publicity…and Steve had taken up control of the project, his natural leadership qualities made him a superb Project Manager. He’d also expressed an interest in actually running the ones across New York himself, another way he felt he could help.

They were aiming to open the first ones in September, running two a week for the time being, just to see how well they were received and, from a purely selfish point of view, Katie was enjoying working alongside him again and having him at home permanently instead of traveling with the Military.

“How many groups do you think you’re gonna have eventually?” She asked and Steve tuned to look at her, momentarily confused by her sudden change of topic until he realised what she was talking about.

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “I’d like eventually to maybe run them three times a week, twice a day. Give everyone who wants to come a chance to you know…why d’ya ask?” “Just drilling into these numbers. I reckon we have enough to fund that to start with,” she paused, “and if the government meet our request then we can step it up.” He nodded. “I put the design idea in for the fliers and posters yesterday. Has to be the most sombre thing I’ve ever drawn.”

“I know,” she said softly, “but it’s gonna make a difference Steve, focus on that.”

He was about to reply but he was cut off when they heard the voice from the security system informing them that the gate had been opened by ‘Emmy Rogers’. Steve glanced at the clock and frowned.

“It’s not even one?” 

“They’re on half day,” Katie didn’t look up from the numbers on the screen, “teacher training or something.”

Moments later the front door opened and the chatter of two excited teenage girls hit their ears and Lucky gave a bark, his nails clicking on the wooden floor as he trotted through from where he had been on his bed under the stairs to greet Emmy.

“I know, it’s so cool, right?” Emmy was saying, as her voice grew louder. “I never thought they’d do anything like this, not after the Decimation but, oh hi buddy!”

They heard Lucky’s excited whine as Emmy continued to coo at him, before the two girls and dog appeared in the lounge doorway.

“What’s so cool?” Steve asked instantly and Emmy rolled her eyes.

“Do you earwig into every conversation I have?” She opened the baby-gate and stepped into the room.

“Yes.” Steve deadpanned. “Now spill.” “It’s a Geography field trip Mr R.” Brooke grinned. “Hamilton for the Niagara Escarpment.”

“Canada?” Katie smiled before her smile turned to a smirk as she side eyed Steve “I had a vacation in Canada once.” Steve shot her a glare and his voice dropped to a growl. “That’s not funny.” He said sternly. The memory of what she’d been through wasn’t a laughing matter as far as he was concerned. She flashed him a grin and he rolled his eyes. “So when is it?” He turned to Emmy.

“Last week of term in June.” She answered, reaching down to pick Jamie up who had toddled over to his sister excitedly chattering jibberish as he went. “Just for three nights. I know it’s really short notice but apparently they weren’t sure they could pull it off. Hi Jay!” She swung him up and kissed the little boy on the cheek as Brooke gently tweaked his nose causing him to laugh.

“Six weeks, yeah that is short notice.” Katie pondered. “Do you wanna go?” Emmy’s eyes lit up and she nodded. “I’d love to.” Steve took in a deep breath and Katie looked at him. She could see him grappling with something but Jamie spoke before he could.

“No!”

“Did he just talk?” Emmy’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, he hasn’t shut up saying it for the last hour.” Katie grinned “Look, have you got the details of the trip?” “In my bag.”

“Okay, well leave them on the table, me and your dad will give it the once over and we’ll talk about it later.”

Emmy placed Jamie down on the floor and fished in her bag for the forms before she dropped them onto the coffee table with a soft slap. Jamie wandered this time over to Katie who set her laptop down and picked him up. He sat on her lap and gently wound his hand into her hair, rubbing his face into her neck the way he always did when he was tired.

“I’m gonna put him down for a nap.” Katie stood up and looked at the two girls. “What are you doing this afternoon?”

“Pool!” They both grinned, sharing a hi-five before Emmy looked at her mom, the familiar hopeful expression on her face she always got when she was about to ask for something.

“Can Brooke stay?”

Katie arched an eyebrow. “I thought that was a given, seeing as you’re both already here.”

The two girls grinned and Emmy looked at her mom again, her smile growing even bigger. “And, can we get Thai tonight? It is Friday.” “Dontcha mean Thaiday?” Steve quipped causing Katie to groan as Emmy picked up a cushion off the couch with her spare arm and hit her dad with it.

“That is so lame.” Emmy rolled her eyes as Brooke cackled. “C’mon…”

Katie watched as they left the room, Steve still chuckling at his own joke.

“She’s right.” Katie looked at him, gently re-arranging Jamie slightly as he had started to nod off. “That was lame.”

Steve gave her a look of mock hurt, clutching his chest, before she left and he sat up to read the information Emmy had left on the table. He was struggling a little bit between wanting to let her go and also the worry that had instantly flooded his system about her being safe. He carefully read the details, the trip wasn’t cheap, not that that really mattered, the activities looked good, and a quick google showed him the hotel looked fairly reasonable and was in a nice enough area…

“I knew you’d be on that as soon as you could be.” Katie laughed and Steve looked up at her from his spot on the floor by the table and he gave a sheepish grin.

“Busted,” he sighed, “I just wanted to look into it properly. I really want her to go and enjoy stuff like this but…” “We can’t keep her sheltered, Steve.” Katie reasoned. “No matter how much we want to. She’s gonna be fourteen this time round.” “I know, I know.” He sighed “Do you think we should let her go?” “Yeah, I do.” Katie nodded “We’re lucky enough to be able to afford things like that for our kids, plenty of other families aren’t.”

Steve’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek for a moment as he considered his wife’s words. She was right. Emmy would never have been on a trip like this before, and it did look like a lot of fun.

“Alright.” He heaved himself up off the floor “You’ve convinced me.” Katie grinned “If only everything was that easy.” “It is.” He arched an eyebrow. “All you have to do is pull those eyes at me.” “What eyes?” She asked innocently. “You know damned well what eyes. Those eyes. The ones that can get me to do whatever you want.” “Is it working now?” She looked up at him, batting her eyelashes. “Why, what do you want?” He asked, smirking, knowing full well what she was implying as her hands slid up his chest.

“Well the girls are out at the pool,” her eyes followed her fingers as they started to undo the buttons of his Henley, “and Jamie’s asleep…” Grinning, Steve span her round, shoved her gently forward and aimed a smack to her ass causing her to yelp playfully. “Get up those stairs Mrs Rogers.” He growled, and the pair of them hurried off, giggling like a pair of naughty school kids till they reached their bedroom, where the giggles turned into shared moans, groans and happy sighs.

**** “Thanks for dropping Brooke off.” Jennifer placed a latte down in front of Katie.

“It was no problem, I had to come this way on my way up to the compound anyway.” Katie smiled and then frowned slightly as she noticed the look on her friend’s face.

“You alright?” She asked gently.

“Not really,” Jen sighed, sitting down. “Brooke called last night about the field trip…” “Yeah Steve wasn’t so keen but I talked him round. The girls seem to be looking forward to it.” “That’s the thing.” Jen rubbed at her temple “I really want Brooke to go but, well, business hasn’t been what it used to be before, you know, and I’m not sure I can afford it. Not at such short notice.” Katie instantly felt like a jerk. She knew she was incredibly privileged to be so wealthy but was well aware many weren’t as fortunate.

“I haven’t had the heart to tell her yet.” Jen swallowed and Katie bit her lip.

“Jen,” she leaned over the table dropping her voice, “if you want…” “No.” Jen shook her head, her lips pressing into a thin line, instantly understanding what Katie was offering “I’m not a charity case.” Her voice was clipped. “No, that’s not what I meant.” Katie hastily assured the woman. “Honestly, I didn’t mean to offend you.” “I know.” Jen shook her head “Sorry,that was really ungrateful.” “It’s fine.” Katie waved her apology off, “but the offer is there. We could consider it a loan if you liked.” Jen chewed her lip, and Katie saw her friend’s eyes begin to water.

“Look,” Katie gripped her mug, “it’s a couple of hundred bucks. And this probably sounds crass and really, really fucking shitty when I think about it, but I make more than enough and I really, really won’t notice that amount going out, trust me.”

“I just hate this, you know.” Jen hastily wiped her face. “A few years ago this place was thriving and now, well I just about make enough to cover bills and the thought she is the one that has to miss out…” “Then let me help.” Katie pleaded, looking at the red head opposite her. “Brooke’s been a good friend to Emmy and, well, from a selfish point of view I’d be a lot more comfortable if they were together.”

“That’s really kind of you.” Jennifer nodded after a pause. “Are you sure? I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.”

“Whenever, it’s not a big deal.” Katie nodded, smiling “On one condition.” “What?”

“You sneak me one of your delicious brownies every once in a while.” Jenifer laughed “Oh honey, you and Steve can get free coffee and brownies for life.” “Erm, yeah, pretty sure in a month you’d be bankrupt if I told Steve that.” Katie grinned and Jenifer smiled.

“Would you like to come over?” She asked suddenly. “The pair of you, for dinner maybe? Tonight? Emmy and Jamie as well, of course.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Katie smiled. “We’re not doing anything that I know of but I’ll check with Steve and let you know as soon as I can.”

“Great, well, Emmy can stay here if she likes. I’m sure once I tell Brooke she can go they’ll be planning all sorts of mischief.”

“I dread to think.” Katie mused “You know I remember my last field trip. It was to San Fran and I was sixteen. Me and my friend, a girl called Laura, I made some fake ID and we got plastered in a bar. Tony absolutely kicked my ass, before he told me he was actually quite impressed at the quality of my forgeries.”

Jennifer snorted “Yeah, this isn’t exactly filling me full of confidence.”

Katie laughed. “Emmy is much better behaved than I was at that age, Steve wouldn’t stand for her getting into the same amount of crap as I did.” She drained her mug and stood up. “I best be going.”

“Sure, see you tonight? What time will suit with Jamie?”

“Well he normally goes down about seven and he’ll just sleep in his car seat.” Katie smiled “So say six ish? I can feed him and settle him then at yours before we eat.”

“Fab.” Jenifer stood up and Katie mirrored her.“And thank you.”

“My pleasure.” Katie smiled, and she handed Jen her mug. Once the woman was out of sight she dug into her purse and dropped the customary twenty bucks into the tip jar on her way out.

****

Steve was in the kitchen when he heard his wife come home. He didn’t move though, he was too busy watching his son, trying to figure out how the hell the fourteen month old had managed to climb up on top of the breakfast bar unaided. Steve had turned his back for thirty goddamned seconds to load the dishwasher and now his son was crawling along the unit. The only explanation was he’d used one of the stools as leverage, but even that was baffling the Captain, and there was no way Jamie should have been able to manage that, at all.

“Thank you Dr Erskine” Steve grumbled as he swept his son off the surface. “You’re gonna be the death of me, pal.” “No!” Jamie cackled, and Steve sighed, his son carefully held in his arms as Katie walked into the kitchen. “Hey, Doll.” He smiled, dropping a kiss to her lips.

“Hi.” She greeted him, returning his gentle sign of affection before she blew a raspberry on Jamie’s cheek. He giggled as she made her way to the fridge and Steve deposited their boy on the mat at the corner of the room.

“How was Nat?” Steve asked and Katie sighed, grabbing out a bottle of water and opening it.

“Still insisting on flying out to Nepal.” She shut the fridge. “I’ve told her Barton doesn’t wanna be found, but…” she trailed off. “And Bruce has gone again.”

“Where to this time?” Steve frowned. 

“Back to the lab in Seoul.” Katie shrugged. “I don’t know what for. Anyway, I told her to come for dinner on Sunday and that if she misses it again this week imma kick her ass.” Steve smiled as Katie took a drink from the bottle “Oh, and speaking of dinner, we’re not doing anything tonight are we?” 

“Not at the moment, but I’m sure you’re about to tell me we are.” “Jen’s asked us round.” Katie sat down at the table.

“That’s nice of her.” Steve poured himself mug of coffee, Katie waving away his offer of one. “You wanna go?”

“Yeah, and it’s kind of a thank you so we should do really.”

“What for?” He sat down opposite her.

“Well, she was upset about not being able to send Brooke on the Field Trip so I offered to help out money wise.She didn’t want to take it at first but she agreed in the end. As long as it’s a loan” 

“I’m glad she did. I’m assuming Emmy has stayed with them for the day?”

Katie hummed a response.

“Those two are joined at the hip.” Steve snorted

“Another reason I really wanted Brooke to go.”

A movement caught Steve’s eye from the corner of the room and he looked up to see Jamie was now stood up again and was heading back towards the breakfast bar. He quietly observed his son, watching as the boy gripped the legs of one of the stools and pulled himself up. Steve was horrified to see that he was managing to lift his legs off the floor, swinging them onto the foot bar.

“James, No!” He said loudly. The use of their boy’s full name didn’t pass Katie by and she turned in her seat to see Jamie looking at his father before he let go of the stool and fell backwards onto his butt, the pout on his face reminding Steve so much of his wife that he had to stifle a laugh. Katie watched as he got to his feet and toddled towards her.

“He managed to get up onto the kitchen counter before.” Steve eyed the boy as Katie picked him up and sat him on her knee. “What?” Katie’s voice was high pitched as she whipped her head round to look at Steve. “How the hell?”

“Beats me, although from that I suspect he was using the stool as a climbing frame.” Steve sighed watching as Jamie’s attention turned to the now empty bottle of water in front of Katie. “I was loading the dishwasher and in the time it took me to put the plates in he’d made it from his play mat to the top of the damned breakfast bar.” “This is your fault.” Katie laughed, smoothing down her son’s blonde hair. “You and your damned super serum.”

“I know.” Steve shook his head. “I thought we could take him and Lucky out for a walk maybe see if that settles his energy.”

Katie checked her watch “Yeah, we could do. Maybe head to the park. If we go now then we should be back for his nap.”

“Or we can wait a while, and he can sleep in the stroller and I can take you for lunch?”

“Okay so that sounds even better” she grinned “You know, you’re not as dumb as-“

Steve never found out what he wasn’t as dumb as, because at that moment they heard a yell that made his breath catch.

“DADA!”

The parents looked at one another, a shit eating grin spreading across Steve’s face as he leaned forward across the table.

“Dada?” Katie asked, pointing at Steve, bouncing Jamie on her knee. “Dada!” Jamie babbled again, grinning. “Dada!”

“Typical.” Katie rolled her eyes. “I carry you for nine months, give birth, feed you from my boobs and you come out looking like your father and you say Dada first. That’s gratitude for you”

“Guess that means I’m his favourite.” Steve teased, slumping back in his chair, earning himself a glare from his wife. He blew her a kiss, shrugging.

Steve was pleased, however that Katie didn’t have to wait long for her turn. A few days later when she went into Jamie’s room to get him up for the morning he beamed at her and held his arms up exclaiming “ma-ma!” Steve watched his wife on the baby monitor screen and felt his heart swell to what felt like five times its normal size as Katie picked up their son, her eyes pricking with tears and held him tight. 

*****

June 2021

Katie woke with a start, pausing for a moment, wondering why it was so quiet. It took her a second but then she remembered Jamie was at Tony’s, staying for a sleepover. As Emmy was on her field trip, Pepper and Tony had taken the boy to give Katie and Steve a night on their own, the first one they had had in a very long time. Tony had rung them mid-afternoon to ask who on earth had taught him the word ‘whatever’, albeit in Jamie’s pronunciation ‘tever’ and Katie had laughed, that one was firmly down to Emmy. He hadn’t quite managed the sign to go with it yet thought, despite her best attempts.

They’d taken full advantage of it too. Steve had gone into complete romantic overdrive, coming home from a meeting at the tower with a bunch of calla lilies for his wife and told her to get dressed up as they were going out. They’d headed into Brooklyn for a meal at a small Italian (Katie only checking her phone five times, which was an improvement on the twenty the first time they’d left Jamie with his Uncle) and they’d had a great time. It had been intimate, and they’d teased each other relentlessly meaning when they got home they hadn’t even made it up the stairs before they’d been clawing at each other, desperate touches and kisses shared in the hallway before they’d both tumbled into the lounge onto the rug in front of the fire. Grinning to herself at the slight tenderness between her legs, Katie turned over and glanced at Steve who gently shifted in his sleep, a sure sign that he was slowly waking. She scooted closer and rested her hand on his chest, her smile widening as he unconsciously let out a soft sigh of contentment. His eyes were moving under their lids, and as her hand started trailing down over his stomach he took in a deep breath, finally opening his eyes and meeting her gaze just as her touch dipped below the waistband of his boxers. He let out a low groan.

“You’re awake early considering the kids are away.” He murmured, kissing the skin in the crook of her shoulder, his morning stubble scratching her skin slightly as she continued her strokes, teasing him lightly.

“Force of habit.” She whispered back, sighing as he kissed her neck again and again. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close until she was pressed against him, his thigh between hers as he rolled them both over so she was nestled under him. His lips made their way to hers and he gave her a deep, languid kiss as she shifted so that her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him flush against her. Steve propped himself up with his left arm while his other hand went under the shirt she was wearing, his shirt, to her chest, his fingertips barely brushing against her nipples. She groaned loudly at his touch, and he was just about to warn her to be quiet, but then he realised he didn’t have to. With the knowledge that he really could make her scream, he hastily pulled the top over her head and his lips crashed back to hers, the kiss hot and intentional as her legs gripped him tightly in an attempt to get a little more friction between them. He went to tug at the waistband of her underwear, barely breaking his lips away from hers for a moment.

“You want me?” He asked, his voice low and raspy.

“Always,” she groaned, aware of the desperation that flooded her tone and Steve let out a low growl. Katie felt the tearing along one side of the thin lace garment he had hold of and she laughed into his mouth, remembering their first time together when he had done the very same thing. Her fingers scrambled to push down his boxers as he repositioned himself slightly, reaching down with his hand to line himself up, before he gently worked into her. Man and wife both let out a satisfied sigh as Steve’s hand grabbed Katie’s knee and hitched it over his shoulder, a move he knew drove her wild. She moaned loudly and her fingers dug into his arms as he starting pushing a little harder, a little faster, then faster, until he had reached a relentless pace making his wife curse and leaving her short of breath.

He slowed for a moment, making her look at him, letting out a noise of protest. “Don’t stop,” she begged, “Please Stevie.”

Grinning slightly he picked up the pace again, enjoying the noises she was making as she keened underneath him, her head pressing further back into the pillow a she gave another loud cry of his name before he felt her tighten round him as she came, her nails biting at the skin on his arms. He continued to thrust three, four more times before the snake in his belly uncoiled and he jerked on top of her with a loud cry of his own and let go of her leg, collapsing onto her, his face buried into her neck.

“Morning,” she mumbled, her hands tangling into his hair and he let out a soft chuckle.

“Morning, Beautiful.”

They stayed in bed for another hour or so, just laying with one another and talking before it was time to shower. They did that together too, and by the time they were climbing into the car to go and pick Jamie up, Katie was feeling literally and figuratively thoroughly fucked and fell asleep on the journey, Steve smirking to himself at the fact he could still tire her out like that after almost eight years of being with one another.

“Late night was it?” Tony quipped as Katie let out a yawn as she walked into his living room.

“Yeah, and an early morning,” she shot back and Tony snorted, shaking his head.

“Dada!” Jamie giggled as he tottered over from where he had been sat on the rug with Morgan and Pepper “Mama!”

“Hi, Baby!” Katie swept him up in her arms and placed a kiss to his cheek “We missed you.” “Nee!” He said gleefully and Katie frowned, and it wasn’t until he pointed to his uncle and repeated the word that she understood. “Nee!”

Steve let out a snort “Uncle Nee. Suits you Tone.” “Shut up, Spangles” Tony raised an eyebrow as Morgan laughed.

“Uncle Pangles!” The two year old quipped as if on cue, and Steve let out a moan

“Did you teach her that?” He looked accusingly at his brother in law.

“Of course he did.” Pepper sighed, sweeping the small girl into her arms as she stood up, smirking at Katie. “You guys eaten breakfast yet or were you too busy?” Katie let out a snort. “If there’s any going I won’t say no.”

Pepper handed Morgan to Steve as she was trying to reach him and he took her, tossing her into the air ignoring the wince from Tony as he did so, catching the girl expertly.

“Again!” she pleaded and Steve obliged happily, knowing that it was winding Tony up only added to the enjoyment of seeing his niece cackle with laughter. “When’s Emmy back?” Tony asked, tearing his eyes away from where Steve was tossing his daughter in the air like he was wielding that fucking shield to look at his sister.

“This evening.” Katie answered. “Spoke to her last night, not sure she wants to come home.” “I remember your field trip to San Fran.” Tony mused, raising an eyebrow and Katie snorted.

“Yeah, so do I.” She smirked “I was telling Jen about that the other month. My first hangover.” “Okay, can you stop that now!” Tony rounded on Steve who grinned and rest Morgan on his hip and she pouted.

“More!”

“Sorry, Moo.” Steve apologised and she gave a huff as he placed her on the floor and she headed off to find her mum in the kitchen. He arched an eyebrow at Tony who rolled his eyes.

“Dick.” He mumbled.

“Dick.” Jamie repeated loudly and Katie’s eyes widened. Steve looked at his son, utterly horrified, then to Tony whose shocked expression was fast turning into one of utter glee.

“Oh you-” Steve glared at Tony as Katie bit her lip to try and stop her laughter “For f-“ he stopped himself, took a deep breath and pointed at Tony. “You are an absolute…”

“Use your words, Old Man!” Tony grinned, delightedly and Steve’s jaw clenched as he turned so his back was to his son and raised his hand, flipping his brother-in-law off.

*****

October 2021

“Your daddy is gonna be soaked” Katie mused to Jamie as she looked out of the window “It’s absolutely pouring with rain.”

“Dada. Rain!” Jamie grinned, chanting the words back at her, ignoring the small piece of toast that was left on his plate.

Steve had gone for his morning run with Lucky before he headed out to the first of the two support groups he was running that day. He had held the first one in September in an old church hall, and at first Katie was worried that more people would attend to take their anger out on him and had wanted to be there to help but Steve refused point blank, but her concern wasn’t completely unfounded as a lot of people were angry at first, but no one else hit him, and he said it was actually therapeutic for him too, as he could answer questions, and speak honestly and openly about how he felt about the situation.  As it turned out, Steve was a natural born councillor as well as a leader, and by the end of the month he had six different groups running through the week at different places across Manhattan. It was good for him and he was relishing the fact he could still be useful.

The back door opened, and Katie could hear the man she was thinking about stepping into the small utility room off the side of the kitchen.

“Ahhh thanks, pal, “his voice dripped with sarcasm as she heard Lucky’s tag tinkling along with the noise of the dog shaking, “that’s great. really great.” Katie chuckled to herself, picturing his face as he continued to grumble

“Could have waited until I got a towel.”

“DADA!” Jamie yelled at the sound of his dad’s voice, squirming in his seat, breakfast abandoned. “Ucky!”

“Hey, Buddy” Steve called back, as Katie undid the straps from his high chair and they made their way into the utility area where Steve was drying Lucky off as best he could with an old towel. Lucky took the opportunity as soon as he could to scoot past Katie into the kitchen.

Jamie glanced at his dad and excitedly wiggled his arms and legs as Steve shrugged off his sodden waterproof running jacket.

“Hi!” He screeched “Hi Dada!”

Steve’s bright smile light up his face “Hi, Son.” He kissed him once on both cheeks and Jamie squeaked happily before Katie set him down and he toddled back over to the play-mat in the corner of the kitchen.

“What, no kiss from my baby mama?” Steve asked, sweeping Katie into his arms and rubbing at her neck with his cold, damp face.

She squealed and tried to pull away, to absolutely no avail, and Steve continued to laugh and use her as a drying cloth.

“Ew! You’re cold and damp and sweaty!” She wrinkled her nose.

“You don’t seem to mind my sweat when I’m chasing your fourth orgasm.” Steve quipped cheekily, dropping his voice to barely more than a whisper, making her laugh.

“That’s different.” “How?”

“Because that’s sex sweat, this is run sweat.”

Steve laughed loudly “I didn’t realise I had different sweat pores for different activities”

“I didn’t mean that!” Katie rolled her eyes “I mean that I’m not sweaty now, I’m warm, and dry…” “Yeah, and if you give me a moment I can rectify that situation.”

“Dirtbag.” She grinned, his chuckle vibrating into her chest. "Go get showered and warmed up. I’ll make you some breakfast.”

"Kiss first.” Steve muttered before he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers. His lips were warm and despite herself, Katie leaned into his arms, her hands snaking up into his damp hair.

“Kissy!” Jamie giggled, and they broke apart to look at the tot who was sat on the floor clapping. “Kissy, kissy!”

���I’m gonna kill Emmy.” Steve muttered, and then he spotted Lucky expertly stealing the toast that Jamie had left on the highchair, before sidling out of the room with his precious treat. “And that damned dog.”

Katie laughed and gave him another peck on the cheek before Steve swept past his son, giving his hair a quick ruffle. She leaned back against the counter and smiled, before she sighed, her happy expression faltering a little. They’d had almost three years now of pretty much non-stop domestic bliss, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something surely had to come along at some point and turn it all upside down.

That was how things went for them, right?

“Mama!”

Her attention flew back to her son as he toddled over to her and held his arms up. “Hungry.” “Again?” Katie rolled her eyes as she picked him up.

“Yup.” He nodded emphatically.

Katie smiled, kissing his cheek, and moved him so he was perched on her hip. With one arm she placed more bread in the toaster and looked at her son, who smiled at her and pressed his lips to her cheek in a sloppy kiss.

“Love you.” He grinned and Katie beamed back at him, brushing his hair back.

“Love you too, Sweetheart.” And with that simple act, she managed to push those worries she had to the back of her mind, again, content to just enjoy what they had for as long as they had it.

**** Chapter 48 Part 1

 **Original Posting**

[lizacstuff]

Sen Çal Kapımı episode 47 asks

Below the read more find asks and answers about episode 47, the fragman for 48 and other miscellaneous things.

(UNDER THE CUT)

Anonymous asked: Hi! I hope you are enjoying your vacation. I remember you mentioned you would be traveling. What were your thoughts on the epi? I think this was one episode where everything was happy! No big problems. The truth about Kemal being Serkan's dad could have been dramatic but Ayse and team wrote it like a romcom. I'm not really feeling the Deniz being the saviour of Artlife like they are portraying in the fragmans but I'll wait for the next epi to make a judgement.

Thank you. Once again, I though the whole episode was a really easy watch and I enjoyed every minute.  

I really appreciate the tone this season, even something as series as Serkan’s parentage is played lightly, as you say very much rom com, and not full of heavy melodrama (as it would have been if explored during the 30s). This is exactly the tone and feel of this show that I want.  

Serkan’s reaction was predictable, but it was also clear that he just needed time to adjust and settle down and he’ll come around. I like that. 

I don’t have time this week to do full episode thoughts, but I enjoyed Serkan and Eda’s morning after conversation. Hilarious that he’d removed all the sharp objects from the room. Loved that after all of Eda’s fear-fueled reticence, once she decided to take the plunge with him, she was all in. Eda admitting that she’d been unbalanced and had been at fault for hiding Kiraz,--and acknowledging that Serkan had been fighting for them and now she wanted to as well-- was very nice. After running a bit hot and cold, Serkan deserved to hear that.  

lolo-deli asked: Hard to believe we didn't get a reconciliation scene in 47... Nobody expected sex but we couldn't even get a hug or kiss when they made up? "I want to see that tattoo" was not the romantic reunion I was hoping for. Were you at all disappointed?

IMO, we did see the important part of the reconciliation, and that was the conversation. Sure, I think we should have seen Serkan and Eda kiss in the last episode. If I were in charge we would have, but I don’t think the story actually loses anything because it’s not a mystery what happened.   

Clearly, he says the tattoo line and they jump each other, make their way to the bedroom, have sex, but don’t really communicate until the morning when she wakes up, and that’s where the show picks up and we get to see those first important moments. 

If you’re looking for romance, then I would point to everything that led up to that tattoo line in 46. That entire episode (and the one before it) was their romantic reconciliation. Moments alone where he takes in her scent and whispers how much he’s missed her, waking up in bed together when they just automatically gravitate to one another, the moments of pretending to be married that were very comedic, but also very soft and romantic (What’s your greatest passion, what’s the first line you ever said to one another), the heartfelt conversation on the bench, the actual tattoo conversation at dinner. That’s the romantic reunion. Yes, if they had just reunited after years (like in episode 40) right before the tattoo line, I  would have needed more romance, but we’ve had 7 episodes of them working their way back to one another. Everything was primed, all they needed was to light the match.  IMO that line did the trick. 

So, am I disappointed? No. I’m happy to go with the flow and enjoy every minute of what they do give us in these last few episodes. I choose not to get tied up in what I wish would happen vs what actually happens. I find I don’t enjoy any show when I put the onus on the show to conform to my wishes. 

Some might be disappointed, that’s their choice, (and make no mistake, it is a choice) but that’s not how I’m approaching this second season which is serving up so much romance, comedy, and domestic family goodness. I suffered through the 30s so I could get to this, I’m not going to waste any of it being disappointed.

Anonymous asked: Idk why this proposal was the most emotional out of them all for me. Perhaps with the other ones I just KNEW the other shoe had to drop because they couldn't let them get happily married this early and this time I knew it was finally it. Or maybe it was the fact that knowing they're married means the show really is ending soon, but I was a blubbering mess lol. Sure there's drama ahead, but it's definitely not a plane crash and memory loss or a "fake" Selin pregnancy!

Yes! Thank goodness we don’t have any of that nonsense waiting for us.  They are really going to be married. 

I enjoyed this proposal very much, it was so sweet the way he planned everything out and had everyone helping, while Eda (and even sort of the audience) was in the dark about what was really going on there.  

For me, as far as the words spoken, nothing really tops his speech to her in 27, but the great thing is that we get them all and this was special in it’s own right because he really surprised her and swept her off her feet this time around.  I loved it!

Anonymous asked: So I am confused about Serkan’s ability to have kids- it’s not a problem now? If him being infertile was only temporary, why did he say it was impossible to have kids and it was a part of why he left Eda in the first place so she could have it somewhere else? They could’ve just waited a couple years to have kids then...? I know he also left her cause he was scared of dying but they really made his reaction seem like he’d NEVER be able to have kids

My assumption is that since they were able to have Kiraz, they know it’s possible, so even if it won’t be easy (and fertility is usually not a hard yes/ no line... mostly it’s a measure of how likely it is) they are choosing to believe they will be able to conceive again.  

If you’re looking to change what his assumptions were when they first broke up and he thought he was unable to have kids (and that there was a 70% chance the cancer would come back) and deciding he should have made different decisions based on the fact that he was able to father Kiraz... to be blunt you’re looking at it the wrong way. 

At that time, he thought he would never be able to have kids. Full stop.  The fact that wasn’t necessarily true doesn’t change what he believed at the time. 

Anonymous asked: serkan being the overly protective, worrying, affectionate baba is EXACTLY what i imagined, as i'm sure everyone else did. who else would worry about the pH balance of the soap at their daughter's preschool?! serkan thinking his angel can do no wrong.. of course it was all can's plan to hide them in the bathroom lmao. i hope, and with how this season is going i think we'll get it, we get to see this serkan in action when eda is pregnant too.. even if we just see a couple minutes of it!

YES! I loved overly protective Serkan. Thankfully, for Kiraz’s sake he has Eda (who might be a bit too far the other way) to balance him out.   I agree that it was hilarious how he was trying to blame sweet Can.  Even without seeing what happened, I’m pretty sure anyone else who had spent two minutes with those kids would figure out who the instigator was.  When rabble rousing is going on, I think it’s fair to point to the offspring of Serkan Bolat and Eda Yildiz as the cause, lmao.

It would be great it we got to see glimpses of Serkan as an expectant father and also the father of a newborn.  I would love that.

Anonymous asked: I see that the "Nitpick of the Week" as I'm calling it, this week is where Serkan proposed. Because Serkan Bolat would neeeeever propose in a "parking lot" .. am I the only one seeing that it's not even a parking lot, it's a road. Like if it is a parking lot where are the other cars then lol?! Putting aside that he's proposing outside their literal wedding venue, their entire story started in a parking lot. He told her he loved her for the first time on the side of a road. I'm not understanding.

You make great points!  Their love story did start in a parking lot AND he was trying to pull off both a surprise proposal and a surprise wedding in one day’s notice. Since we’ve already seen a proposal on a plane, a proposal at a piano bar and a proposal at their place of work, I don’t really have the energy to join the discontented masses on twitter and nitpick the location of this proposal. He could have proposed in front of a landfill and I would have been delighted. 

Anonymous asked: I'm sorry if you don't find it as funny, but people's reaction to this new fragman is so exaggerated like they're about to witness Indecent Proposal dizi-edition that I literally couldn't help but find it hilarious. Like no where is it ever implied that Deniz is offering Serkan SEX, but when Eda says "just do what you have to" somehow that's the first thing everyone thought of?! Not to mention we know this is Deniz's last ep.. the dramatic reactions really have me dying lmao.

OMG! I know. So this is a show that doesn’t show sex, Serkan didn’t sleep with the woman he thought was his girlfriend during amnesia, Serkan and Eda were both celibate for 5 years, but suddenly they’re gonna have newly-married Serkan go to the edge width Deniz?!?!?!  Those people on twitter lost their damn minds.  

On Saturday, I was on vacation and had just popped in to see if the new fragman was released, I was happy to nope right out of there when I saw the insanely melodramatic overreaction to the fragman. 

It’s obvious that since the biggest issue between Eda and Serkan is Eda’s fear that Serkan will always prioritize work over her, as he did on their first wedding day, this story is to show that Serkan will 100% choose Eda over work and Art Life.  Also I’m sure the episode will have the same tone as the rest of the season, which is light and comedic.  

Anonymous asked: sometimes I go back to episode 28 and still can't believe they got that bathtub + shower scene in there with the rtuk guidelines. I've watched a couple more romcoms since starting SCK and have never seen anything close to that. I know they got fined afterwards but they were really like "screw it, we're going it for anyway" 😂

It’s interesting that the production company and network went for it there. But as you say they did get fined, so they didn’t get away with anything.  

[bitchloveskcbaseball]

Grab a Seat

Pairing: none officially ... but also sort of Bryce Lahela x mystery girl

Series: None at least for now

Summary: A packed subway. One free seat. Two people determined to get it. (I suck at summaries lmao)

Word Count: 1107

Warnings: Swearing

Disclaimer: Bryce Lahela belongs to Pixelberry (mystery girl is all mine though) Also... I was too terrified that I might delete this if I went back and read it, so there has been no editing done. I apologize for any and all mistakes that have happened here. Also I have no idea how subways actually work, so sorry if it’s all messed up lol

A/N #1: All of the credit for this belongs to @burnsoslow​ (unless it sucks, then it’s allllll on me lmao) If not for your patience and support, your words of wisdom and your brilliant advice, I know I wouldn’t have been able to find my way back to writing.

A/N #2: Part of her amazing advice was to find a prompt that inspired me. The one that I sparked an idea came from this list by @foundyourheart​ and is: We make contact before trying to steal the last seat on the subway/bus/train and I end up in your lap and fuck you, I’m going to stay here because I’ve had a really long day and this seat was mine. I didn’t quite use it in exactly as written, but it is the inspiration and it is fairly close...

A/N #3: I also managed to sneak in @wackydrabbles prompt #98 and it is bolded.

Smirking up at the woman that had, quite literally, stumbled into his lap, Bryce couldn’t help but smirk as he asked, “You do realize that the phrase ‘falling all over you’ is only an expression, right?”

Long, chestnut-brown hair whipped him in the face as she swung around so her glare was focused fully on him. “Seriously? That’s how you want to play off stealing my fucking seat?”

“Your seat? How do you figure?”

“I’ve been on this damn train for six freaking stops and this is the first seat to have opened up!”

Not bothering to hide his laughter, Bryce tossed back, “I fail to see how that automatically makes this seat yours.”

“Because I’ve been waiting for it longer!”

That caught his attention. Because that meant that mystery girl had noticed when he had gotten on the subway three stops ago. And judging by the glimpse of the flush peeking through the light tan on her cheeks that he got before she ducked her head, he figured that was a piece of information she hadn’t meant to let slip.

Surprisingly, she recovered her wits faster than he did, cutting off any remark he might have made by spouting off, “Don’t flatter yourself. I only noticed when you got on because I was practically standing in the doorway.”

Letting one eyebrow arch in disbelief, Bryce asked, “Then why are you still sitting on my lap?”

Her grey eyes that were filled with sparks of green snapped back up to meet his own, sparking with indignation. “Because it’s my fucking seat and you won’t get out of it!”

“How am I supposed to do that if you won’t get up?”

“So you admit that it was rightfully mine?”

“Not at all. Just pointing out the flaws in your argument. Besides, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been waiting for someone to vacate a seat. Subway seats are first come, first serve, and since I clearly got here first, it’s my seat.”

For just a brief moment, he could feel her deflate as her eyebrows drew together and her mouth pinched into a pout. Guilt washed over him in waves as he realized he had pushed his teasing too far, especially with someone whose name he still didn’t know. It had just felt so natural to banter back and forth with her that he had simply forgotten that they were still strangers.

But before he even had a chance to open his mouth to apologize for overstepping, she had slipped her mask back into place, from the eyebrow she had cocked up into the piece of hair swooping across her forehead to the sassy tilt to her smirk. The sudden transformation practically stole his breath away, even if he could still see small hints of the weariness that was weighing her down.

“If that’s how you want to do this? Then fine. Let’s do it.” Bryce’s hand slipped from around her waist -- I didn’t even realize I’d left it there -- down to rest on her thigh as she scooted further back on his lap, making it clear that she had no intentions of getting up. “Since I got to this seat first, I guess that makes it mine.”

Forgetting his intention to keep his comments to himself after she gave him such a perfect opening with her own smartass comment, he fired back, “That’s an awfully bold claim to make this early in the relationship. I mean, we haven’t even gone to dinner yet.”

When her only response was some soft spluttering, Bryce was tempted to mess with her a little more to see just how much he could fluster her. But then he remembered the flash of exhaustion he’d seen in her only moments before. He couldn’t ignore the pang of empathy he felt at the thought of her being so worn down before the sun had even risen.

So, instead, he made a show of glancing out the window at the approaching station and then lightly poked at her side. “Hey, if you hop up for just a sec, you can have the actual seat.”

“Like hell I will! No chance I’m falling for that!”

“No, I’m serious. This is my stop we’re coming up to.”

After briefly studying him from over her shoulder, his mystery girl -- when did I start thinking of her as mine? -- stood up and turned to face him as the train started to slow. Her left eyebrow pulled down over her eye while the right shot back up under her hair, silently daring him to try to keep the spot on the bench. So, with hands raised in surrender, Bryce got up and stepped out of her way with a flourish.

Almost immediately after she had settled into the seat, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and practically buried her nose in the screen. He knew he ought to take that as a sign that his time with her was up, but he was filled with an inexplicable concern for her that prompted him to nudge her foot with his own. When her attention was back on his face, he asked, “Do me one favor?”

There was only a slight hesitation before she answered, “Um ... maybe? Depends on what it is.”

“Whatever has you so stressed out? Try not to let it totally weigh you down.”

While the scoff she let out was full of frustration, it was thankfully free of anger. “I really wish I could. I just honestly don’t know that I can.”

“Maybe just try thinking about the time that you sat on a stranger’s lap and declared it to be yours.” Lifting his shoulders in a shrug, he added, “That’s what I’m going to do the next time I’m feeling overwhelmed.”

Without waiting to hear what, if anything, her response would be, Bryce turned to head towards the now open doors of the subway car. Instead of exiting, however, he maneuvered his way through the crowd to an empty spot where he could still see her while he waited for his stop that was still three stations away.

When his eyes landed on her once again, a single unexpected thought popped into his mind: I wish we could do this all the time. Shaking his head, he forced himself to clear his head of the thought and the equally-unexpected disappointment he felt over the realization that he might never see her again. Instead, Dr. Bryce Lahela put his focus on mentally running through the operations he just might get to witness on this, his first day of surgical residency.

Tag List: @darley1101 @lahellacute @anotherbeingsworld @burnsoslow @mvalentine 

[thesundanceghost]

@elicash tagged me to do this and I’m finally home relaxing so lets do it

nicknames - never really had one stick, “Emma” is too easy to just say at once. Like sometimes my family will shorten it to Em, but very rarely, it’s just as easy to say the whole thing

zodiac - Taurus (and Leo moon/ Libra rising, according to costar, because no matter how many times I read that I will forget it instantly). I don’t really know anything about astrology but I do firmly believe that my sign is the best one

height - 5’3” and I hate it

last movie - Can’t remember if it was Macbeth 2015 or Butch & Sundance, I’m getting my days confused. I didn’t actually finish Macbeth tho the whole time I was just wishing I was reading the play :/ I’m biased against movie adaptations of Shakespeare I guess

last thing I googled - “Atlantic hurricane”

fave musician - you guys probably don’t know this but I would let Joan Osborne do literally whatever she wants to me. don’t know if I think Relish (1995) is the best album of all time but I do think its the sexiest.

song stuck in my head - Candy by the Blasting Company

other blogs - none that i still use

blogs following - I can’t remember how to check and I’m too lazy to try but I’ve been on this fucking site since 2012 and rarely unfollow people so lets just assume “too many”

amount of sleep - I am a firm believer of 7h sleep supremacy

lucky number - none

what I’m wearing - jeans and a bra (my normal lounge wear)

dream job - i hate jobs so much. But idk I’d love to do any editing work remotely, and also do some farm/fishing work, I personally enjoy manual labor

dream trip - Currently still dreaming about my still-theoretical road trip up the Atlantic coast. @benjhawkins has been giving me so many to-visit spots in Maine and I need to get there!!! As boring as it is most of my dream vacations are in the US, I think because it just seems like less stress for me, and when I dream about trips, that’s what I think about.

fave foods - Mango, and alfalfa sprouts. I made a jerk pork dish with grilled pineapple and a mango salsa and it was just so damn good. I also love a good stew or soup, like any kind honestly

play an instrument - Piano, although I haven’t done it seriously in years. Used to play viola and violin and I miss that. I can play guitar but like only simple chords

languages - English baby — can understand French and Spanish okay but I freeze up when I go to speak it.

fave songs - I know y’all are sick of hearing about it, but any song off of Relish. Literally got goosebumps listening to that album in the car yesterday. Also both Nina Simone and Jeff Buckley’s versions of Be My/Your Husband, that song really gets me.

random fact about me — I want to know more about taxidermy, not to like do it, I just think its cool and I know nothing about it

describe yourself by aesthetic things - uhhhhh idk linen? My dream closet is one that’s only made of linen. I mix a ton of silver and gold jewelry. My house is filled with tons of warm colors and southwestern/Mexican interior artwork and furniture. I am almost always in jeans unless its 100 degrees. My dream day is just fishing in a boat under the sun with a beer in my hand. I love fabric and mixing textures together is my favorite thing. I make myself overindulgent and overly complicated dinners where four things are cooking at once and I have six different timers set and red wine to drink. I don’t know if any of this counts as an aesthetic I’m just saying random shit……..

I have no idea who’s done this yet, but I’ll tag @satisfactuality @benjhawkins @benjaminagunn @cithaerons @starbuck @lupismaris and whoever else wants to do it!

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Wonder Woman 1984

The first 3/4 of 2017’s Wonder Woman was my favorite film of that year. The last 1/4 was my least favorite film of that year. What can I say, I have a complicated relationship with the DCEU, and the part I keep getting disappointed by is the big smash-em-up, explosions everywhere, muddy mess of orange/blue filter in the “climactic showdown” between hero and villain. I just don’t have the patience for it anymore, and I was so hoping that the Jazzercise vibes of Wonder Woman 1984 would do something different. 

As it turns out, this movie was trying to warn me like so many stories that have come before - be careful what you wish for. Just how badly did my wish go bad? Well...

I’d already heard some questionable things about the movie before I tuned in, so my expectations were tempered but I guess it was on me. I should have known better than to wish for a story with reasonable pacing, some kind of consistent tone, villains with discernable motivation, or a Wonder Woman movie that was actually about fucking Wonder Woman. I’m not even mad as much as I am puzzled. That and tormented by Pedro Pascal’s manic televangelist energy in my dreams. 

Some thoughts:

I have never wanted to go anywhere as much as I want to in 2020, and the place I want to go more than any other is Themyscira. Love this first sequence. Why is the whole movie not about Themyscira??

If the Olympics were like this whole long Amazonian warrior triathlon, I would be WAY more into track and field. 

Also I legit don’t understand the problem with her taking the short path? Like, it’s there for a reason? She just caught up to her horse? Someone explain this to me.

So this mall...basically the hub of American commerce in the 80s that was practically printing money, it made it so fast...is secretly a front for antiquities trading on the black market? And these unorganized-ass dipshit criminals who seemingly just walked in off the street and decided to engage in some light robbery today are after antiquities? Sure, Jan.

Ohh I miss Waldenbooks so much!

This thwarting of crime sequence in the mall feels so...cheesy. Schlocky, almost. Like a 50s comic book come to life. I dunno, it just doesn’t feel like the tone I was expecting. In the context of the whole film, we really blew our action load in these first 2 sequences, and also this is the last point in the movie in which Diana actually resembles her character from the first film.

I would also be stammery and blushy when talking to Diana Prince for the first (and second) time, but I’m kinda getting a gay vibe from Barbara. This meet-cute + date is definitely playing up romantic vibes. Kristen Wiig is so good at characters like these - in less than 2 scenes, I have such a clear picture of who Barbara is, what she wants, what she fears, and that’s all down to Wiig’s choices. [ETA: This makes it all the more infuriating when Barbara suddenly is like “I want to be an apex predator” when nothing about her character’s reaction to getting positive attention indicates she would want to start shitting all over everyone else.]

Pedro Pascal is skeeving me out as our villain Max Lord, which really just shows his range, because normally I love him and find him wildly charming in everything. But he’s playing this oil baron creep to the max, as they would say in the parlance of the 80s, and it makes my skin crawl. 

The mechanics of how Steve Trevor returns are wildly confusing. Why is this other guy involved at all? Are we supposed to be ok with the idea of Diana fucking *some other dude’s body* without his consent just because Steve’s spirit/consciousness/whatever is inside the guy? Also that guy DEFINITELY got fired from his job after going AWOL for a whole week, right? 

I am thrilled with Steve’s clothes montage. One of my favorite things in any 80s film, and his enthusiasm really sells it.

I do really like Diana and Steve playing detective, following clues, crafting theories. In spite of the absolute dumbassery of how Steve came back, Chris Pine and Gal Gadot have incredible chemistry and I do find their scenes together delightful. 

I think that’s why it’s so frustrating to me the way their entire relationship was handled. If the whole point of the wish going bad is that it has a cost, wouldn’t it have been better, instead of making Diana weak, to have Steve slowly start to be more and more of an asshole - aka not the Steve Diana remembered and loved? Make her realize that the Steve she knew and loved is really gone and she has to stop letting his memory hold her hostage. Maybe his last moment of self-awareness would be realizing that this wasn’t who he really was, and she was better off just remembering who he was and moving on rather than trying to hold on to this thing that isn’t good for her? 

The sequence with the fireworks made me emotional. The only time I’ve ever been on a plane on the 4th of July was when I was coming back from a visit with my uncle in Dallas. He had flown me, my mom, and my grandma down for a whirlwind trip, and we flew back the night of the 4th. I got to see fireworks from above for the first time, and it felt so magical. My uncle passed away 2 months ago, and feeling that magic again (via Diana and Steve) made me miss him and all the adventure he brought into my life something fierce.

Am I supposed to be like...anti- the idea of Barbara absolutely kicking the shit out of this drunk catcaller who attempted to assault her earlier in the movie? It feels like the film wants us to be like “oh no that’s bad” but my empathy goes on vacation for attempted rapists. 

Like...did anyone do ANY kind of fact-checking on this script? The Maya haven’t been “wiped from the face of the earth” there are still 6 million of them living in Central and South America. Escalators were invented in the 1890s for fucks’ sake. PLANES IN THE 80S DONT WORK LIKE PLANES IN 1918. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ALL THOSE SWITCHES DO STEVE. Also...just because the plane is invisible doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist anymore. Isn’t the whole point of radar to detect things that you can’t, y’know, SEE? Seriously, how many people fiddled with this script until it turned into an incomprehensible mess?

Did I Cry? OK yeah, I did when Diana and Steve had their conversation after they escaped the White House. But I feel like I should have cried more then, as well as earlier when Diana tells Steve that she only wants this one thing. I love Gal Gadot in this role, but I do wish her acting expressed a little more emotional depth and honesty for the moments like this that should really tug on the heartstrings.

I know Wonder Woman is bulletproof, but are we saying she’s also...immune to electricity? 

If there’s one thing that living through a global pandemic has taught me, it’s that we can’t rely on the inherent responsibility of every individual person to do the right thing in order to save their community (or the world). So the climax of this film really feels like a big ol’ fictional FUCK YOU to every person who has been quarantining since March as the US government twiddles their thumbs and relies on personal choice to lower infection rates. I know they made this film during 2019 and had no idea what would be coming, but this entire sequence was the most horrifying, short-sighted, offensive way to have good overcome evil I could imagine for a 2020 movie. “Just count on people to do the right thing and everything will be fine!” We’re WELL FUCKING PAST THAT, Diana. 

And maybe this is my debbie downer pessimistic ass, but the message “the world is a beautiful place the way it was” feels like some real bullshit. Do you mean the world is a flawed, complicated place where beautiful things exist DESPITE all the violence, inequality, and poverty? Ok, that I’ll buy, for sure. But “Everything was fine the way it was!” is uhh not what I would have gone with. That’s a first draft edit if ever I heard one. Seriously, how did this make it through MULTIPLE studio drafts and no one thought to point this out?  

I literally had to go back after the credits were over and rewind to figure out what happened to Pedro Pascal at the end. If I not only don’t care, but also can’t remember what happened to the villain at the end of the movie, that’s a big motherfucking problem.

I was giddily delighted by that first post-credits scene though! Probably the biggest moment of joy I felt during the film.

For being a Wonder Woman movie, it feels like there’s so little actual Wonder Woman IN the movie. The first film is rooted firmly in Diana finding her place in the world, understanding and coming into her power. This feels like she’s a bystander in her own life, and her most significant moments are always in the context of someone else’s narrative arc. And there’s nothing that comes even close to the breathless wonder of that No-Man’s-Land scene, aka one of the best superhero movie moments of all time. 

This doesn’t have the knowing wink of Aquaman or the nuanced character arcs of Birds of Prey. It doesn’t have the childish glee of Shazam! or any of the nonsensical grimdark bullshit of Zack Snyder’s entire ouvre. It feels like Wonder Woman 1984 suffers the same fate as its protagonist - a profound lack of presence or drive. Sure there are some fun sequences, and the actors are doing the best they can with a weak script, but it’s just not enough to save it. In a year where I saw so few contemporary films (focusing more on catching up on past films I’d missed), I can’t think of one that disappointed me more. 

[ilkkawhat]

Any tips for first time writers? Specifically any tips and tricks for writing CSI stories and the Nick/Greg ship? Trying to stay in character and make the story interesting like a show episode instead of a boring text procedural is hard.

lmao as someone who is forever insecure about my own writing when it comes to keeping the characters in character, I think something to keep in mind is that you may view a character differently than someone else--and sometimes those views align with others, and most of the time it's better than what's presented in canon, and it can be really difficult to get confident about that, but I think that creating anything, even if it's not just writing--drawing, giffing, photo edits, etc, you do know and love that character enough to bring them to life under your hands and it's something that's just so like, poetic about keeping these characters alive, even if the show offed them or the show is cancelled, in these works (honestly the song "poet" by bastille says this best imo) and you may end up discovering parts of yourself as you explore these characters in depth, you'll learn more about them, too, and the more you write, the more confidence you will gain

but be weary of the validation trap (says someone who falls into it literally every time I post a fic)--do not rely on comments and feedback to let you know you're doing it "right." the fact that you're getting thoughts into words onto paper is good enough, and you are good enough and even if you don't end up sharing it, you still did something special that nobody else has done before, and that, is amazing!

I'm not gonna lie, a huge weakness of mine that I feel I've known ever since I started writing CSI fic is that I really don't do well in making cases for the CSIs to work on--and even when I do, the case is usually forgotten by the end of the fic and I end up just kinda focusing on the emotions between the characters and describing their feelings and actions the best I can and unfortunately the plot sometimes suffers because of that.

I guess it really depends on what you want out of your story--do you want a really intriguing case and basically make an episode of CSI, or do you want to kind of bend out of the procedural drama, and just write something fluffy like Nick/Greg going on a roadtrip or something actiony like them getting into some sort of trouble? (as I often do lmao)

Something that does always help me when I do decide I want an actual like, "plot" to the fic beyond just playing around with the characters and making them do things or experience things is that I'll make myself a very flexible outline--which I will admit, at times, does kinda drain the fun out of the actual writing part but I found that I'll try to write chapters/fics in segments in this way, like I'll have the start of a fic, and then when I feel like I need to break but want to write what I got going next, I'll have something in brackets like: [Self deprecation at home/drinking, evil Nick in the mirror?] (for agony), and sometimes maybe a bigger summary, and sometimes less to just kinda remind myself of what I wanted to accomplish with a fic

BUT know that there are gonna be things that pop up sometimes. twists that come to you halfway through a fic--or if you're lucky, you'll find that your reader friends will kinda give you a twist to add in (my fic Last Breath is the greatest example of this--I originally was gonna do like, 12 chapters but then @dannilea said "HEY MK GIVE NICK AMNESIA" and then the fic got doubled in length lmao) so don't feel confined to any sort of outline. go with the flow, go with what feels right for you.

I know it's a lesson I'm still learning myself, but do not pressure yourself with these sorts of things. there are no deadlines. you're not doing anything wrong. if you don't like something you wrote? don't delete it (i've deleted so many things--fics, my entire blog, old art and gifs I did and it's one of my biggest regrets that I carry with me and god...it just hurts) but don't be afraid to tweak, re-write or rework if you need to--I know ao3 has an option where you can even say something is a "remix" of another work if you write a fic and then somewhere down the line, decide to expand on it or change it up? (I think it's meant for that at least, I haven't done that sort of thing....yet)

and that's another thing--you'll always be learning new things as you keep writing. I've been writing since I was like, twelve years old. Had a long ass depressive gap (though I did still write some things, just not...as intensely as I used to) before I came back to the CSI fandom (which I never felt I contributed to before, when I joined tumblr I posted some caps but that was about it, it really wasn't until 2018 that I started giffing and writing and three years later lmao here we are!) and there are just hard lessons you do learn--like I said, the validation trap and pressure and all of that

but motivation wise, something I've been (trying) to do is write at least 100 words per day. Doesn't have to be a specific fic, doesn't have to be anything I intend to make a fic, but just...getting the words flowing. But again, no pressure, because I recently had another depressive bout and went 33 days without writing and it climaxed to me having another mental breakdown swearing I was never gonna write again and damn near deleting everything and giving up.........only to start writing again the next day (and full disclosure, I did have a friend helping me literally every day with that and if they read this, I hope they know how forever grateful I am that they convinced me to keep going and I would not actually be here without them)

You will need to recharge, you will need to be mindful of outside stresses that may be impacting your creative energies. And sometimes, you can try doing things not relating to writing at all. Make a playlist of songs that make you think about the fic; if you can, draw or make photo edits of the fic. find a friend to bounce ideas off of--so many of my fics were enriched by that, I can't even begin to list them all lol.

But above all, again, just know that what you're writing is unique to you, nobody else will be able to write the way you do, and that is just...so special. writing can be difficult, it's exhausting, it's a thankless job at times but when those words start clicking together and your fingers just keep typing/writing, you'll just kinda get this like, rush like nothing I've ever been able to match.

and lmao I know you said specifically CSI and Nick/Greg and feel like I got sidetracked--but the great thing about CSI is I feel like you'll have excuses to put them in situations given their line of work, but like I said before, you can bend out of the genre a little bit. Have Nick and Greg go on a vacation, or make an AU (even something as wild as a sci-fi AU--honestly Specimen Stokes is the most fun I've had in writing the past three years) or if you do want to stick to canon, and don't want to make a whole new case or elaborate on the details--play with an established episode. If there was a Nick focused episode, what was Greg doing and vice versa? Did they talk about things afterwards, or did something happen leading up to the episode that made them act a certain way around each other?

I'll honestly find inspiration also just watching the episodes--something I've been doing in these past few months of my rewatch is making little ficlets about the episode, like I wrote one about Nick and Greg post 6x02 elaborating on the breathplay that Greg hinted about earlier in the episode, or I made a revenge fic for 14x12 where that douchey abusive husband went after Nick, etc. So sometimes it helps to dive back into canon and play in that sandbox too

I hope these tips can help get you started and honestly, don't feel obligated to agree or do any of these things I listed above. We all have different ways of going about writing, and it is just one big learning process and something I don't think I'm ever gonna perfect or master in any sort of way--(not to say I think I'm the worst writer in the world but I just...try to humble myself and not believe I'm the best or better than anybody else cause that's part of the validation trap, you get those ideas in your head and then it can destroy you when you realize you're definitely not)--and there will be times you get heavily discouraged, but...you just gotta keep going. keep pushing. find outside encouragement, but don't rely on it. practice a lot of self care and don't pressure yourself to finish or share or write more than you think you can. just...let it come, and enjoy the ride

I honestly feel like I'm one of the least qualified to say all of these things, but I really do hope it helps and hey, you already got one cheerleader, me, who will be excited to read whatever you share!

[shadow-assassin-blix]

A Christmas to Remember

Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x Reader/You

This is my Secret Santa gift as part of the #Pedros12DaysofChristmas to one @mickeymouse-moshpit​ who wanted some fluff. This is my first time writing for Whiskey and I had a lot of fun with it. (Also, I sent an anon a while ago but I dont know if you ever saw it, or if tumblr ate it, so if you specified anything else my apologies!) I hope you enjoy this!

Warnings: Talks of loss of childhood dog, Whiskey mentions his deceased wife. Some anxiety issues in the form of trying to be a people pleaser. 

It was a few days before Christmas Eve, and most of the Statesmen were spending the day catching up on paperwork before heading out on vacation. That is where you were; stuck in your office finishing up reports.

It has been a rough couple of weeks for you. A mission you went on a week ago, went terribly. Your CI had gotten killed, and you had almost walked into a trapped that could’ve been the death of you and your team.

Thankfully, another agent who had been your backup got you out of there before anything could happen. Agent Jack “Whiskey” Daniels had been a literal lifesaver that day.

Then on top of that, your childhood dog had passed away over a month ago. He had been about 15, so his passing wasn’t too shocking, but it still broke your heart. He had been with you through so many changes: college, jobs, moves, break-ups. This was the first Christmas in years, that you would be spending it alone.

So, here you were typing up the last report before the holidays, with a smidge of dread.

It was as you were editing the report that you saw Whiskey making his way out of his office across from yours. You had always thought he was extremely handsome. He was a flirt, sure, but he was damn good at his job. You had been trying to figure out how to properly thank him for days since he saved your ass.

You bit your lip as an idea popped up in your head, and found yourself chasing after him, trying to catch up before he got on the elevator.

“Hey Whiskey!” You called out when you see him waiting for the elevator, just ahead of you.

He turned around, slight confusion on his face as he watched you run up to him.

“Where’s the fire darling?” He asked slight concern in his voice.

“Sorry. Um. Was wondering… do you have any plans for Christmas Eve?” You slowly asked, trying to not sound too winded.

“Uh. Not much. I’m on the graveyard shift both nights. Why you ask honey?” He questioned curiously.

“Well. I tend to have a small dinner at home and watch cheesy Christmas movies. I was wondering if you would like to join me? No one should spend the holidays alone or at work,” You offered with a small smile, scratching the back of your neck awkwardly.

Whiskey stared at her surprised. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Um. That’s mighty kind of you. I may take you up on that. I’ll let you know, yeah?” He finally answered not knowing what to say.

You nodded your head, somewhat excitedly.

“Great. No pressure though! I just… don’t want to be alone to be honest. But um. Just let me know, okay?” You said with a wave as you walked back to your office.

You go back inside, finish your edits and sent off the report for review. It was as you were gathering your things, that you realized that what you said… sounded a little guilt trip-y.

You winced as you thought more and more about it. When you got down to your car, and was simply sitting in it, you decided to text him.

‘Hey, umm. I’m sorry if what I said early made you feel awkward. I just wanted to do something nice for you after that mission last week. If I overstepped or made you feel weird, I am sorry.’

You hit sent before typing out one more thing.

‘If you want… we can just ignore that whole conversation.’

You sent it and then threw your phone over into to the seat next to you, not wanting to look at it ever again.

You made your way home and soon enough you were walking upstairs into your apartment. As you set your stuff down, you checked your phone expecting something horrific. There was nothing. You unlocked it to see the conversation, wanting to be sure nothing had been said. All that was there were your two messages. So, you continued on with your night, checking your phone occasionally.

Two days later, it was Christmas Eve, and you still had yet to hear from Whiskey. You simply sigh in resignation that he was either weirded out by you, or just wasn’t interested.

You began cooking your dinner at about 11am. You tended to make a lot of food, despite it usually only being for one person. You loved leftovers and it meant not having to cook a lot for a few days. It was about 3pm when you were fixing up the ham, getting ready to put it in the oven, when you heard a knock at the door.

You stared at it confused before walking over to it. When you opened it, there was a man you didn’t know standing there.

“Uh. Can I help you?” You asked awkwardly looking at him and the dishes he was carrying.

He looked at you then at the door number, and went, “Aw. Shit. Sorry. Got off on the wrong floor. My bad. Um. Merry Christmas?”

You laughed a little and said, “Merry Christmas to you. Enjoy whatever you’re about to eat, it smells delicious!”

He threw a ‘thanks’ over his shoulder as he walked away. You close the door and went back over to your ham. You finished preparing it and set it in the oven, creating a timer for it.

You were in the middle of cleaning up the slight mess that had been from that and was setting the table with everything that you had made earlier when another knock came to your door.

You walk over with a sigh, mentally preparing to direct another person who was at the wrong door. But upon opening it, you were surprised to see Whiskey standing there instead. He was wearing a simple black polo and jeans, a white cowboy hat in one hand and a bottle of wine tucked under his arm.

“Hi,” He greeted with a small smile.

“Hey,” You were shocked to say the least.

It took a moment for your brain to start functioning again before you realized you had yet to let him in. You stepped aside and he walked in setting his hat on a rung on the coat rack.

“I uhh… I brought some white wine. I remember you saying you’re not a fan of red,” He stated showing you the bottle.

You smiled at him meekly, and asked, “You remembered that?”

He nodded with a small smirk, “I only remember the important things.”

“My preference in wine is important?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Indeed. I find most things that you tell me about yourself important. How else would I be able to woo you?” He fired back his smirk growing.

You felt your face warm with embarrassment before clearing your throat, “Ahem. Um. Dinner will be ready in about 30 minutes. There’s plenty to snack on as well, so help yourself.”

You made your way into the kitchen to get a bottle opener and a pair of wine glasses. Whiskey followed you, taking the opener from you gently. He quietly opened the bottle and poured the both of you glasses.

He then picked up both glasses and took them over to the couch, holding them, waiting for you to join him. You sat down next to him and took one. You clinked your glasses together before taking a sip.

You turned slightly to look at him, leaning back on your couch.

“Are you uh… still doing the graveyard shift tonight?” You politely asked, fiddling with the stem of your drink.

“No. I’m not. Decided against it,” He answered softly.

“Why uhh… why did you agree to do them in the first place, if I may ask?” You inquired, propping your arm up on the back of the couch to rest your head on it.

“Nothin’ better to do. Haven’t really celebrated the holidays in years. Not uhh. Not since my wife died,” He admitted with a flinch.

You stared at him, horrified. You didn’t know what to say. What does one say after that?

“I’m sorry… if this.. if this bothers you, you don’t have to stay,” You whispered feeling awful.

“It doesn’t bother me. Not as much as I thought it would. To be honest, I had planned on saying no. But. I don’t know. Somethin’ kept naggin’ at me to go. Maybe it’s cause yer the first woman in years that I’ve truly been interested, if it���s not too forward of me to say?” He confessed looking you in the eyes.

As you met his gaze, could see the honesty in his eyes. You set your glass of wine down, and got up, to walk over to the fridge. You reached in and pulled out 2 beers.

“Drinking wine doesn’t quite feel right for the current mood,” You lamely joked handing him one of them.

He chuckled softly and murmured in agreement.

“I lost my dog a month ago… Old age. Passed away in his sleep. ‘Best way for a pet to go’ as I’ve been told by everyone. Never really knew just how quiet this place can get without him. Thought about getting another to fill the void but I don’t know… None quite measure up I guess,” You told him before taking a swig of beer wincing slightly at taste of it mixing with the wine.

“I was about to ask, I remember you talking about him a lot,” He said with a nod.

“I know it’s silly, to not want to spend a holiday alone when your usual company was a dog-” You began to explain before he cut you off.

“It’s not silly to me. Now, I’m not quite sure who put that in ya head, but he was yer family. Just because he was a pet, doesn’t invalidate that or your grief,” He began, his hand gently brushing against your cheek. “I’m just… happy that ya asked me to come be with you.”

You smiled in appreciation, your hand reaching up to touch his as you leaned your cheek into it.

He slowly moved forward, his eyes glancing between yours and your lips, silently asking for permission. His lips slowly met yours a moment after you nodded your once. You kissed back just as hesitantly. His hand at your cheek, slowly slid into your hair bring you closer.

The kiss was slow but with each second that passed, the both of you gained more confidence. The kiss became deeper and more passionate. Your hands slid around his neck, slowly burying themselves into his hair. His other hand was fiddling with the hem of your shirt, brushing against the skin he found there.

The only reason why either of you pulled away was to suck in some much-needed air as you felt your lungs burn a little.  You wanted to go back for more, but the kitchen timer was going off, signaling the ham was done. The both of you chuckle as you took in the state of each other: lips swollen, hair a mess.

You quietly stood up to go take the ham out of the oven. The both of you fixed up a plate, and began to watch a few Christmas movies, curling up next to each on the couch. You were about halfway through the Nightmare Before Christmas when you paused it to put your plates into the sink.

“Before we continue… I.. I got you something,” You said to him walking over to your tree.

You picked up a small box that you had labelled as “Whiskey.”

The both of you returned to the couch, as you handed him the present.

He opened it stating, “I didn’t get you anything. Now I feel a bit bad ‘bout that”

As he opened the box to reveal a watch his breath caught. He looked at it and then slowly turned his wrist to look at the watch he had on. It was almost identical to the one he wore now, just silver instead of gold.

He pulled it out gently, examining it. What really got him was when he saw the engraving at the back. It had his name… and the name of his wife.

His gaze turned to you in confused amazement.

“I’ve seen you prepare for missions a lot, and when I first started, I was one of the people who had to lock up personal items when the mission called for extreme discretion. I noticed on your watch it had a name on it. I didn’t know who she was, but I figured she had to be pretty important to you. You mentioned a while back that it broke, and no one’s been able to repair it. So, I tried to find one that looked similarly,” You explained biting your lip.

He looked at you for a moment longer, before turning back to the watch. He gently set the watch back into its box.

You opened your mouth to apologize when he stopped you… by pulling you into a kiss. The kiss was brief but passionate.

“Thank you, darlin’. That’s… that’s the kindest thing anyone’s done for me in a long while,” He whispered against your lips, as he reached up to wipe away a tear that had escaped.

“You’re welcome. I was hoping you’d like it. I was worried you’d hate it,” You admitted.

“You worry too much. You need to stop worryin’ about upsettin’ everyone all the time. You are one of the best agents we have, and everyone adores you,” He assured you, kissing you again and pulling you into his arms.

You smiled sheepishly at that and nodded. You curled back into his side, and he held you as close as possible. You continued to watch movies until you fell asleep, feeling safe and warm next to him.

As morning came and you slowly woke up on the couch, a blanket covering you. As you sat up, looking around, you realized you were alone. You got up looking around trying to see if he left a note.

As you walked toward the kitchen to your phone, you realized that it had been cleaned up. He had put away and saved the food that had been left out.

She checked her phone and saw that there was one message waiting for her.

‘Needed to go do some things. Merry Christmas, beautiful. If it’s alright, I’d like to see you again tonight?’ -Whiskey

You sent a quick response back, ‘I would love to see you tonight! Merry Christmas!’

The rest of the day you went and hung out with some friends for Christmas and did gift exchanges. When you finally came back home, it was late in the day. You set the presents down and freshened up really quick before Whiskey arrived.

It didn’t take very long before you heard a knock on the door; perfectly timed since you had just finished cleaning up. You could feel yourself get excited at the thought of seeing Whiskey again. You walked over to the door to see Whiskey standing there with a large box in his arms, that was brightly colored.

You stared at him, slightly confused at the box. It was as you stared at it that you noticed a shimmer of silver. He had put on the watch.

“Hey darlin’. So. Funny story. I went out planning to ask a friend a question… when I saw something in an alleyway,” He began to explain hesitantly.

He slowly lifted the lid off to reveal a puppy. “He was alone. Took him to my friend who works with a shelter and had one of those fancy scanner things that checks for microchips. Found none. When I told him where I found this lil guy, they said it’s a common place for people to dump pets.”

You stared at the puppy wide-eyed, vaguely aware of what Whiskey was saying to you. The puppy gave a small bark, and his tail wagged excitedly. You could feel your heart melting as you stared at him. You could feel your eyes swelling up with tears.

You slowly reached forward, holding your hand out to his face to sniff. He sniffed it once and then began to lick your hand several times, causing you to choke out a laugh. You then picked up out of the box and held him close to you.

He gave you several kisses before snuggling into your arms.

“I uh… I think I’m gonna have to keep him,” You said tearily as you held him.

“Those are happy tears, right?” He asked nervously.

“Yes. Very happy,” You answered with a laugh, moving back to let him in.

“I had planned on just askin’ my friend about any available dogs for you, thinkin’ maybe we could go find you one tomorrow when the shelter was open. Then I just found him on my way over. I ain’t a big believer in fate but…” He trailed off smiling as he watched you.

“You wanted to take me on a date to find a puppy?” She asked setting the puppy down to let him explore.

“Yes ma’am. I did indeed,” He replied stepping toward her. “Now, however, I think it’s gonna be a get supplies for the little rascal kind of date.”

“I’m good with that, but uhh…  I do believe that I need to kiss you right now,” You said with moving closer to him.

“Oh? Is that right? Well then... please don’t let me stop you,” He drawled as his arms wrapped around your waist pulling you in as close as he could.

You giggled in response as you kissed him slowly and thoroughly, your arms around his neck. He kissed back, his arms lifting you slightly off your feet.

You broke apart when you heard a little bark at your feet. The both of you looked down to see the puppy staring up at the two of you, tilting his head.

You reached down and picked him up and as you held him, you looked at Whiskey who was smiling brightly at you.

“Not gonna lie, honey. This has probably been one of the better Christmases I’ve had in a long time,” He said fondly.

“Same here. Maybe uhh… when the holidays are over, we could go on some proper dates?” You proposed.

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot,” He remarked pressing a kiss to your lips, before giving a small kiss to the puppy’s forehead.

You smiled and as the two of you spent the rest of the evening together, the both of you realized something. This wasn’t what you were expecting for Christmas at all, but neither of them will ever complain. This was a Christmas to remember.

[festivaloftheundead]

✨💕🌸👵🏻🍾 If you’re not interested in shandma nostalgia hours, kindly carry on. This post isn’t for you. 🍾👵🏻🌸💕✨ Usually I do my self-promoting over on my CDF personal, @mikaverleth. But this is a big day so I’m firing this post out of the big guns.

On this day 13 years ago, February 28th, I posted my first ever story on fanfiction.net and it ended up being one of the best things I’ve ever done. The Vampire Files: Vampires On Vacation. I didn’t know then, but it ended up being the first in a series that ended up spanning over my entire adolescence. Nothing made sense but it didn’t have to. It was the very definition of wholesome mid-2000’s crackfic ~rAnDoMnEsS~. Gen Z, I’m truly sorry y’all didn’t get to exist in that era. You really had to be there.

Things have changed since then.... but honestly, not that much. I still haven’t changed my ff.net username in 13 years. I still don’t take anything seriously, especially not the laws of canon. I still can’t proofread worth a shit. And most importantly, The TVF gang still lives rent-free in my head in all their abominable glory: Darren, Harkat, Larten, Seba, Paris, Mika, Arrow, and Kurda. I love this fandom and these characters as much as I did back then. Fuck, I might even love them more. Returning to the Shandom in the crisis of 2020 reminded me just how much room CDF takes up in my heart.

Where the fuck am I going with this?

The Shandom is still alive and kicking in 2021. New fans are still finding this series and falling in love with it like I did all those years ago. I wanted these stories to stand the test of time, but the original versions needed some help. So my little clown brain started doing it’s little dance, and things started happening.

This project has been in the works for a long time, and I literally could not and would not have been able to make it happen alone. Mace (@mrcrepsley) I legitimately owe you both my kidneys for being the person who made this happen. You are my hero.

So without further ado: in honour of 13 years of TVF, there will finally be edited, revised, and improved versions of the old TVF stories being re-uploaded to their original home on fanfiction.net over the next few weeks. Starting with the one that started it all. And also, coming soon to AO3 for the very first time...

* Let the record reflect I actually had this idea before Queen Taylor Swift started re-releasing her old stuff.

[intoafandom]

Why I like Kevan Miller, Steven Kampfer, Trent Frederic, Torey Krug, Tuukka Rask etc and why I will continue to like them.

(Sorry this is soooo long but it’s the only way I can explain)

So last night I got an anon ask and the person was asking why I like Kevan Miller when he’s a republican and I mentioned how I would make a separate post explaining my reasoning better and now that I have the time and its no longer 3 am, now seems like a good time lol.

So I’m gunna give a backstory about the players above that I mentioned and why a lot of bruinsblr doesn’t like them (so people that may not be aware know the context of why people are upset/dont like them). Most of bruinsblr doesn’t like Miller or Kampfer because they’re republicans. Everyone on bruinsblr is allowed to dislike them if they choose to. I recognize I’m in the minority on this app when I say I like and support Kevan Miller and Steven Kampfer. People on here also don’t like Torey Krug for the same reason and because he follows/followed Trump’s twitter account (since trumps account got deleted, torey now follows the “trump archives” account). People on here don’t like Tuukka anymore because over the summer, during all the blm stuff in the bubble, Tuukka went on tv in the bubble for an interview with a hat that said “Boston police” on it (the interview also aired right after the Bruins Organization posted about how they stand against racism, so people ended up calling Tuukka a racist hypocrite.) Last night, people on here found out that Trent Frederic follows Trump supporters and republicans on social media, which is why he’s losing some fans on this app. There are probably more stories about other players that I’m not aware of as well but these will be the ones I’m focusing on for now.

I am NOT going to start talking about my political opinions or my position on social issues. My account is called IntoAFandom for a REASON. So I can escape the real world and go “into a fandom” and have some peace. That’s why i never reblog or like or post about any real world events or issues. I want my blog to be solely about things, fandoms, and people that I love and care about. I don’t wanna come on my blog and see how a bombing happened or if someone got shot or this president signed this executive order etc etc. i wanna come on my blog and fangirl about Bucky Barnes being a sweetheart with kids or how amazing Matt Grzelcyk is at “tight turns” etc etc. Hence the name “IntoAFandom.”

I’m getting a lot of questions as to why I still support these players and I’ll definitely answer those questions in this post. Just so my mutuals know where I stand on this.

Now obviously it would be super easy for me to just go “well the player is super nice so i dont care about their political views.” And while that’s partially true for me, its not the only reason. For me, the reason is much deeper than that. I’ve never mentioned or talked about or even said it out loud. I touched upon what I’m about to say in that anon ask I got last night, but I’m going to go into detail now. It’s kind of hard to explain and the only way I can describe it is to tell you about my hockey journey up until this point, and specifically the 2018-19 season.

So one day in April in 2018, I was on school vacation and I was very bored. There was literally nothing on tv. However, as I was scrolling through the channels, I saw that a bruins game was on. I had never really watched hockey before in my life and the only experience I could remember having with it was when my mom was obsessed with them in like 2013 and how she set up this whole contraption to try and watch a game when a snowstorm made us lose connection. So with nothing else on the tv, crippling boredom, and being a Massachusetts native, I put the game on. It was literally just starting and the national anthem was about to start. We were playing the leafs lmao and it was game five or six of the series probably. I cant really remember because I didn’t think I would care this much about hockey at the time of watching it. But what I do remember was how CREEPY Tuukka looked😂 He was just standing there alone with a huge spotlight on him, head down, wearing these huge pads and looking straight up terrifying. I literally started laughing because of how creepy he looked. And then he put his cool ass mask on and right there I knew he was my favorite player. And to this day he is still my favorite. Tuukka was the first hockey player I EVER knew and could remember by name. I gotta admit, at first I thought his name was “Tuuk Arask” because that’s what it sounded like whenever the announcers would say it, specifically Jack Edwards lol. But then I was like “wait is it Arask or Rask” and after looking at his jersey like 3 games later I finally realized it was actually Rask lol. And I was like “Tuukka Rask. So freaking creepy lol. He’s my favorite.” I also have to mention that I’ve always been a sucker for people that play positions that no one else wants to play. Like for example, when I first started watching football in like 2014, my first ever favorite player was Stephen Gostkowski because he was the kicker. He was super good and he was instantly my fav. That’s what Tuukka was like for me. This huge, tall ass, creepy ass, goalie who was playing super well. How could i NOT like him. I didn’t really bother to learn any other players on the bruins team since they got eliminated in the second round. I remember saying to my mom “I don’t want them to be out. I wanna learn more.” I wanted to know more about the game and 6 games, or however many it was, wasn’t enough. So for some reason, I followed them throughout the offseason and in late September/early October I started watching a ton of their older games on YouTube. Not super old obviously, but games from like 2013-2017 ish. Just whatever I could find. And it was so interesting. I tried to only watch games where they actually won so I wasn’t wasting my time lol, but not having to worry about the score helped me start learning the game and some of the rules, like what an icing was for example. So then preseason games started and I got more into it. And then the beginning of the 2018-19 season started. I still didn’t really know any players besides Tuukka, even though I was watching YouTube games. The YouTube ones were more for me to learn the game and the rules rather than players (however, looking back, I did notice that Kevan Miller was a freaking beast, but I just didn’t acknowledge who he actually was. I just saw a player going absolute sicko mode and being like YEEEEAAAAH). The second player I could actually remember by name was Danton Heinen. I noticed he was playing really well and I was like omg who is that and I learned his name and he became one of my favorites with Tuukka. Next was Anders Bjork. I remember I was texting my friends and was trying to make it seem like I wasn’t a complete amateur at hockey knowledge, so I was like “hey guys, Bjork is back in the line up😃” and so I always remembered his name. Next was Ryan Donato because he was literally AWAYS smiling. Every time he was on camera he was SMILING. I loved it so much he was like a little bean. And so he was one of my favorites and i had a top three with him, heino and tuuks.

Now I was watching games and slowly learning important names like Chara, Bergeron, Marchand etc but it wasn’t really on my radar to actually learn all the players because I hadn’t even done that with the patriots who I had been watching and loving for yeeeears. But that was until I decided to watch a behind the b episode. And I was HOOKED. I instantly began to love and care about every single player on the roster. This was in like February of 2019. And that’s when I started trying to name everyone on the team, including their numbers. I made it a mission. I remember writing out lists in math class because I was so bored and would rather try to memorize hockey players. And that’s when I found bruinsblr. It was march by the time I started to post hockey stuff. And i made an instagram account so I could started editing them. I’ve had this blog since 2014 and its seen many phases, but march of 2019 was when I changed it into a mainly bruins blog. And I remember not knowing what “bruins lb” was and i never wanted to tag it because I thought it was like a club or something that I would be intruding on😂 So I started posting and reblogging bruins stuff and posting sucky bruins edits on here and on my insta account. And I started watching every single behind the b episode from every season and I was literally obsessed with the team. And then Donato got traded and i was heartbroken cuz I loved him and I was like Coyle is gunna have to wow me to get me to like him and he DID and i LOVE HIM. But then I decided to have a top five instead of a top three. And it was Tuukka, Krug, DeBrusk, Pasta, and Marchy. They were the players I noticed the most. And Marchy started LICKING people how could i not choose him😂 So then the playoffs come and we beat the leafs in game 7 AGAIN (and I literally missed the first two periods because I was at my confirmation) But I finally understood all the memes about the leafs and I finally understood hockey and hockey culture by this point. I knew the rules, the players, the memes, literally everything. And then we make it to the finals and get lil nas x singing old town road before game 1 and we get JD wearing that stupid hat😂 and the two people from The Office (one of them wanted the bruins to win and the other wanted the blues) and it was all just amazing for me. Then we lost and i was devastated. And we had to see pictures of CMac sobbing on the ice and JD sitting alone in his stall crying and all of them were so sad and after that journey we just went through i was fvcking crying too. We didn’t win, but that 2018-19 season is SO special for me.

The people on this roster (minus gemel smith and lee stempniak) are EXTREMELY special to me. They TAUGHT me hockey. They turned me on to an entirely new culture. I got to experience my first real bit of hockey. I got to experience EVERYTHING about hockey with them (besides the cup) in this ONE season of hockey. I saw the preseason games in china, the halloween visit to to the hospital, Chara bringing pies to the homeless, them buying toys for kids in the hospital at Christmas then visiting them, the new years game outside against the hawks, trade deadline crushing my heart, every round of the playoffs, players pushing through crazy injuries, loving players, despising other teams, all the memes, all the jokes, all the players. Everything. The 2018-19 season is SO incredibly special for me because it’s the first time I ever experienced real hockey and watched an entire season. The people on that roster mean so much to me because of that. Now take a look at the names on that roster. Rask. Krug. Miller. Kampfer. Frederic. They all helped me experience my first year of hockey. Freddy in his first freaking game, getting into a fight😂 Miller and Kampfer were BEASTS on the ice. Krug being a SPECTACULAR little defenseman, quarterbacking the pp and sticking up for himself and SLAMMING thomas. Tuukka Rask being the brick wall. There is no way that I could ever dislike the people on that roster unless the did something suuuuuper bad. I don’t know if you would call it hero worship or whatever, but those people on that roster are so fucking special to me. Even ones like JFK and Vaak and Colby that didn’t play that many games. They still made an impact for me as a hockey fan. THAT is the main reason why I will never stop liking and supporting tuuks, krugger, kampfs, millsy, or freddy. Everyone on that roster has a special place in my heart and I’m not going to let their political views change or tamper with the incredible experience they gave me during that 2018-19 season. I wont ever love another team as much as I loved that specific roster. And no one is going to change that for me. I dont care about their political views or whatever. For me, the experience and the feelings they gave me trump anything i may or may not disagree with. That roster is so special to me, I cant bring myself to dislike any of those people. I will always like those players, no matter how republican or democrat or whatever. Political views dont matter to me when it comes to those players.

Now besides all of that and the experience they gave me, I do believe that they’re still good people even tho they may be republican. I wanna start with Tuukka because it literally doesn’t make sense to me. Tuukka is not even AMERICAN. I dont think he cares that much about American politics since im pretty sure most his family lives in Finland. People got mad at him for wearing a Boston police hat. But I think those people are forgetting that Tuukka has been in boston for soooo long. There have probably been multiple occasions where the police had to help him or the team for some reason or another (they are technically famous after all). Tuukka wearing a hat that says Boston Police doesn’t make him a bad person. He was probably just showing support to the people that helped support HIM as well as his family and teammates. I follow Tuukka on insta and he literally NEVER posts anything political. Probably because NEVER actually posts ANYTHING at all lol. Tuukka had been my favorite from the start and theres almost nothing he could ever do that would make me dislike him.

As for the other 4, and any other players on the team that may be republican (honestly i bet most of them are because 1) most hockey players are and 2) a lot of the guys are christian/catholic and most christian/catholic people are republican as well) I choose to believe that political opinions dont make you a bad person. I like to believe that it depends on the circumstances for every individual. Now I’m not gay or black or anything. Im an 18 year old, straight white girl. So obviously i dont know what its really like for someone to hate or disagree with my race, sexuality, etc. I saw someone say (sorry I forget who it was) that they keep thinking “well what would that player say about me because im gay. What would they actually think about me. I cant support them.” And honestly that’s extremely valid. I never thought about it that way before. So if Kevan Miller for example was out here posting a bunch of homophobic stuff like “i hate gays” or “gays are all stupid” or anything like that, then yeah my opinions on him would probably change in some way. But I follow him on insta and i know the stuff he post about. I have NEVER seen him say anything like that. Ive never heard any bruin say anything like that. From what I’ve seen, they all seem like super nice, sweet, supportive people when they’re off the ice. (I think it’s also important to mention that I follow EVERYONE on the 2018-19 roster. I follow all of their instas. Most of them dont have twitter, but I follow all the ones that do. It’s part of the whole “that roster is incredibly special to me” thing). I choose to believe that following republicans or being one yourself doesn’t automatically make you a bad person, especially when you consider the different circumstances that every individual is under as humans. We all experience different things and that always plays a role in how you act or the opinions you have or the people you support. Someone’s political opinions have never stopped me from liking people. Ive clearly shown that I don’t mind republicans at all, but that doesn’t mean im going to dislike democrats either. Most of the actors/ singers that i like are democrats. And it just happens that most of the athletes i like are republicans. The political stuff doesn’t matter to me. I just dont want it being slapped in my face 24/7. I dont care if you’re a republican or democrat as long as you aren’t constantly talking to me about politics or social issues or trying to change my mind on stuff. Hopefully you can try to see my point of view on this and UNDERSTAND why I like them. Again, I’ve never told my hockey story to anyone so please don’t try and invalid my feelings about the season or the players.

Please, I beg, please don’t comment on this calling racist or something. Please dont try and change me mind. Please dont tell me i need to educate myself. I know WHY i like these players. I know where they stand politically and who they support. But these players are too special to ME for me to actually give a sht about if they like trump or not. Honestly tho, feel free to give your opinion (especially if you’re gay or black or anything) cuz i dont mind hearing other standpoints as long as you aren’t mean about it or try to change my mind. If i change my mind, which i probably wont, I want it to be on my own terms. Please remember that we ARE still a hockey family 💛🖤💛

(Also I’m NEVER talking about this again. If anyone ever asks or something like this comes up again im just gunna link/ reblog this post)

(Also, thank you to whoever made it this far and actually read all of that. ESPECIALLY if you’re someone that doesn’t agree with me. Its good to hear multiple standpoints on this stuff.)

[partnersatfazbear]

Updates | Vday Sketches

I thought I’d post an update, so you guys know why I haven’t been posting. It’s nothing really serious, but I’ve been taking some time to spend with my wife before she starts a very long solid week of work with no time off, taking care of the apartment for her, ect.

I’ve had back pain, sciatica pain again as well as nightmares, so my sleep hasn’t been good..

I haven’t had any inspiration for poor William and Henry lately, but it is something I want to get back to. My interests change often, but I don’t want to abandon this ship anytime soon. I would be updating the fic, but I can’t get the middle sorted out. I haven’t sat down to finish Resurrection Seeker, although I’d say the last few chapters are about 50% done. As for the comic, I’ll upload that tomorrow. Out of pure laziness / back pain I haven’t finished coloring the most recent pages, but I’ve been looking forward to specific scenes and I really want to put my all as each page goes, hopefully improving the quality.

You have all been amazing, leaving lots of kudos. I appreciate that. I feel guilty for the lack of updates...

I admit what energy I have had has gone to my game, which still doesn’t have a name. I think I’ve almost worked out a plot I am happy with. I’m going to watch some horror movies today and get some inspiration. I’ve also been watching a lot of RPG Maker horror games (if you haven’t watched FlareBlitz, I highly recommend him... wife made fun of me because she says he sounds like PJ. If FB could read a little smoother, maybe. Nonetheless, FB is great for some relaxing RM content. Sadly, he’s doing a lot of VNs lately and it’s really not my thing.)

Anyway, to actual speak of my game, I’m really trying to figure out my story while mapping, which is probably a mistake, but I’d rather have a realistic house for a map that realistically conforms to the story. Having said that I realize that games like Pocket Mirror and Crooked Man stand out as my favorites and I’d like to include some fantasy elements at some point, but how to make it work with my grounded supernatural settings my work is set in is difficult.

Other random stuff I added to my to-do list is to make a Thousand Arms FNF Mod, but uh, it’s about 20 sprites not counting the death ones [just for the BF] (which I probably will only mildly modify). Then those 15 or so sprites must be copied / lowered a few times each to match the sprite sheet. This project is something very far off my radar, but I wanted to mention it.

So, right now my plans are to finish a chapter of something even if it’s typing up the first chapter of my MichaelxCharlie story, and post it. Second, work out my game’s plot a bit more. I have to establish this story with my 12 book long novels, which isn’t as hard as it sounds since this is near what I call “the end of the timeline” and I am planning with a sequel in mind. So, I want this game to have a lot of vague lore that gets answered in Part 2.

I just hope you can all support me in my game endeavors. I want to finish it by Easter. It’s isn’t my first RM title, but it’s something I would easily love to make a living out of someday.

Oh, and for some FNAF related stuff, we finally tracked down Glamrock Chica’s plush the other day when spending time with a friend. We still haven’t found Frostbear, unfortunetly. I’m going to have to pay scalpers for Chocolate Bonnie and Frostbear, sadly. The next book will come out in a month or so, IIRC? Gumdrop Angel? I don’t know if I’ll have anything to add for that. I also finished the Twisted Ones GN, so I’m out of material to read. Except to find that Google Drive post about the Shadow animatronics and read about them... because I intended to start a YT channel, but I’m too shy. I can’t do it without anyone to bounce my ideas off of and my wife is busy.

I will be taking a haitus between 2/20 and 2-28. My wife has vacation and we also moved our V-Day celebration to then. So, don’t expect too many updates that week, especially early on as we’ll be out of town visiting families.

I think I’ve rambled too much. If you made it this far, thank you..

Edit: Someone on twitter wanted Willry V-Day art. I might try my hand at it so I did some sketches... Springtrap literally giving his heart, Charlotte as flower girl (Henry has a plaid tux and William has bunny accessories), and then a scene from Resurrection Seeker.

[funky-boat-zone]

the lighthouse chronicles: part 4/??

taking my turn

this is not to be confused with “taking off”. knowing the difference won’t save your life, but it’ll save you some confusion.

this is the episode with steamer/johnny cuba, which means that this is one of those episodes where the original context unfairly colors my view of it. for example, my immediate reaction was “zb, get the hell away from steamer, he wants to hurt you”

also i think i dislike steamer more than johnny? at least with johnny you’re supposed to hate him. steamer’s a mopey mess who assumes the worst of the other vessels, initially relies entirely on zb to try making friends, tries sneaking into the harbor to make friends even when cappy is telling him not to, and injures cappy when he tries to stop him from coming into the harbor! 

yes salty’s lighthouse, it was completely an accident when steamer hit cappy. i believe you (/s)

and now steamer is bringing up that the harbor is off-limits for him when cappy is in serious danger and only decides to go for help when cappy points out the obvious fact that this is an emergency. i’ve had enough of this dude.

steamer’s va sounds like he was yelling into a pillow when he recorded the part where steamer calls for help.

sometimes i wonder if “zb” is a nickname or if it’s because the zero fleet can’t read his name properly. trust me, i have some evidence that the zero fleet are illiterate.

“he wants to know if he can be your new first mate! after me, of course” zb that’s not healthy, someone please get him the hell away from steamer (/hj)

backwards day

this is a whole episode of the editors playing existing footage backwards and narrating it. i’m sure they were having fun, but i am not.

also spongebob did the “opposite/backwards day” thing better.

proof that zip and zug can’t read: they repainted zorran’s name backwards. yes, i know it’s just because the footage is mirrored, i mean in-universe.

also why is ten cents calling zorran’s hull his “boat”? that’d be like me scraping my knee and saying “ow, my human”.

i kind of love the dramatic music playing as the tugs just tell dumb jokes.

oh hey, they finally called little ditcher by name

wait, how the hell are the tugs narrating these reversed clips if they can’t see what’s happening? 

also this episode’s gimmick of reversing existing footage doesn’t really work when the show does the same thing in the regular episodes

sl!captain star confirmed to have the ability to manipulate gravity

banana splits

zug. stop singing, or so help me i will take back every word of praise i gave you for being a funny gremlin man.

“tell me this isn’t happening- it happened.” okay, zug. you’re off the hook for now, because that was actually kind of funny. 

i love how zorran thinks he can fire zug when that’s neither his right nor something he can do. zug gets back to his job at the end of the episode, but imagine being zero here. you ask your tugs why one of them’s missing and your most trusted tug just says “he screwed up, so i fired him”

i still can’t get over zip’s voice, i’m sorry-

oh god, don’t drag boomer into this

it’s too late.

“no matter what job he took, something always went wrong or caught on fire” au where boomer’s jinx is that stuff just abruptly catches fire when he’s in the vicinity

ten cents is telling this story like zip and zug don’t know boomer.. even though zug’s in the flashback. why couldn’t they just use footage from “jinxed” that didn’t include them?

also boomer’s voice is literally identical to zug’s, so this is one confusing flashback

ten cents’ story says boomer got turned into a vacation boat when the sl version of “jinxed” has boomer stay a tug.. i can’t believe i’m pointing out continuity problems in salty’s lighthouse. by all accounts, it’s not worth it

i like to think zorran’s apologizing and praising zug because zero found out and told zorran that he doesn’t have the authority to fire anyone

zug, you’re back on my shitlist for ending the episode by singing. 

clear the decks

another racing episode? okay ig

why spend all this time explaining the race’s rules when the footage onscreen probably won’t match it anyway?

“we’re one tug short of a relay team” so if zak blew a gasket, why is he still at the zero docks? ffs zero, at least get him to the yard instead of making him listen to rules about a race he can’t participate in

 zero’s holding onto a few shreds of his original characterization, but that almost makes it worse tbh

the fact that the zero fleet don’t know what “z-e-r-o” spells all but confirms my theory that they’re illiterate (with the possible exception of zorran, since he didn’t participate in the team cheer)

the race is just a bunch of clumsily-edited, out-of-context clips with the narration frantically trying to make it appear coherent

i kinda love how the show’s trying to push a message of “friendship and teamwork! :D” and zero’s still clearly salty about his fleet losing